#I was having the time of my life watching Blitz and Fizz working their difference trough

[ratguy-nico]

Im not part of the Helluva Boss fandom but Im gonna judge you directly and personally

I don't hear near enough talking about this song

We get over this song way to fast

I know my bird have had many hit songs but people I've been listening to this shit non stop and crying every freaking time, is just...is too much 😭😭🤧

[justanotherhh]

some trailer things:

big fight around lust/ozzie's place that involves m&m and loona + we know fizzarolli is going to make another appearance, so i wonder how that'll connect potentially. also, new villain?

obvs the whole section of CHERUB working with DHORKS and this massive thing/portal:

john waters big villain episode???? (ghostfuckers from the looks of things)

also more crossdressing in that same episode + millie vs possessed blitz? both millie and blitz giving some evil dead type vibes?

more on stolas' whole social sphere and potential judgement and hell's class politics related to his dating blitz + p much confirmed that blitz will not take stolas' gift in the spirit it was intended

also, "you fucks think you can do this every time-" feels not just like it's about the wider class issues in hell, but maybe like it's personal (potentially with verosika? although it does seem like it's canon that he had more than a little bit of a hand in ending that relationship, so could just be him echoing everything he's been seeing in the treatment of imps and putting that onto stolas in this moment)

and then "thank you blitz, for making me so happy, even for a little while" is during this moment too. lot of teasers for how this is gonna go down (badly, upsettingly, emotionally)

the whole "do you feel any remorse for what you do" feels like a misdirect -- that is, it's edited to look like it's about blitz, but i feel like it's directed at stella or her brother

generally a lot of fun stolas visuals that i won't get into here, but am excited to see more contexts for

also this isn't new, but im always interested in blitz's heart/broken-heart forehead marking

blitz and tilla moment! generally more flashbacks (in the shape of blitz seeming to be almost at the movies, watching his own "failures") around the time of the fire! i didn't see any barbie stuff, alas, but the rest of it looks !!! also lowkey confirmed it was cash who stopped blitz from seeing fizz in hospital

who's this?

another sin? maybe related to ozzie and/or stolas and that judgement of the kinds of people they love?

blitz protecting stolas - maybe from the above, considering the hand motif of it all... stolas really living the life of blitz as a romantic hero, while blitz is barely holding it together as a person the whole time. different genres, my guys. different genres (that's their real communication issue)

this fuck-you-blitz cake looks like a verosika thing to do, esp considering it's her calling him shitty in the VO -- but yay, maybe giving that verosika catharsis, but also generally just verosika!

also the VO part where he says he doesn't want to be this way, he's wearing the same shroud as during his confrontation with verosika. idk, im just. contexts for things. i am curious

is the below also the same episode? I'd think so. it's set during halloween (?) and blitz is then maybe in the blood-covered shroud (costume? undercover? going undercover as a ghost? post-breakup stalking undercover ghost costume?)

MAMMON! and he looks pleased. oh dear.

this blitz + fizz moment

it kinda looks like blitz is wearing the same tee as when he and stolas have their moment + a horse bag + fizz casual wear. fizz generally in this trailer seems to be having the best time (outside the flashbacks). everything makes me suspicious all the time

(also generally hello all the different outfits coming up!!)

fascinated by this:

is that millie?

things we didn't see:

no barbie, no striker, no crimson, no asmodeus (directly, although his imagery is everywhere + fizz and mammon appear), no paimon -- this not to say none of them will show up, but am enjoying that a lot of this is clearly pulling from s1, with the focus on verosika, DHORKS, and CHERUB -- potentially a lot of the s2 villains need some time to lick their wounds a bit (and paimon was never a Villain, just a terrible parent... if he ever returns though...)

and barbie... i do want to see barbie again soonish ngl, she needs some proper introducing, but this is already giving so much callback and continuation of immediate plot-threads, very excited

[ripplestitchskein]

This is super crackish but I am DELIGHTED. So in Western Energy Andrealphus’s actions indicate that he is playing his sister in order to gain the upper hand for HIM. He is obviously flattering and manipulating her and loses his patience multiple times “You stupid cow”, which shows through the cracks of what he is saying and his fake demeanor.

This could be just a weird brother and sister dynamic, he genuinely wants to get the money for Stella and she’s just stupid so he loses his patience but why go through this subterfuge and the song and dance of walking her through it to make to seem like her idea? I’ve always found the dynamic odd, why not just tell her flat out “You can’t kill him we need his money, if he dies it goes to Via.” Why coo and simper and put on a whole performance?

That reasoning also falls flat for me. Stella and Via do not appear to have a bad relationship, Via is often with her and Stella takes her on weekends. If Stolas died and Via inherited why would they assume she’d cast Stella out? Why does Stella need to inherit directly? She doesn’t have control of the money and power now. She never has. She just has access to it. Which she still could. What’s the difference? Wouldn’t a grieving, untrained, teenage daughter be easier to manipulate into giving up the money, power and legions than leaving Stolas alive and having to do some convoluted plan in a nebulous future involving an already powerful demon? Like bad planning Andrealphus, think it through.

Also, what does he even need this money and power FOR? He has a palace of his own. He has powers of his own. I assume legions of his own. He doesn’t appear to be hurting for money in his own right. For Stella’s sake? He seems to kinda dislike her? He certainly doesn’t respect her. He clearly thinks she’s an idiot. He’s obviously manipulating her and leading her towards something. So what is he trying to get that he doesn’t already have?

And why NOW? Why wait until after Stolas is trying to get a divorce? Like if he truly is doing it for her sake it makes sense it wouldn’t come up until her position was at risk. He might very well be doing this out of love for her.

Like the serious side of me knows there’s probably a larger plan at work on Andrealphus’s part than has been revealed and it’s entirely greedy and will be shown to us in Mastermind and Sinsmas, I also have some ideas for how Mammon/Oz/Fizz will tie that all together but today I was watching Western Energy and my insane brain was like “What if Vassago is a misdirect and Andrealphus is Stolas’s romantic fairytale lead?”

HEAR ME OUT. IT’S SO FUNNY

We have no other indication about what Andrealphus is like other than Stolas saying “Your arrogant brother”. That is our first description of him. That is a hugely popular romance novel trope. How many arrogant love interests exist in the romance space, like a billion? Think about how often a posh aristocrat has called their love interest “arrogant”. And the entire plot of one MC having to marry the brother of another. Like that’s peak romance novel.

What made me think of this is that when Andrealphus is talking to Stella his manipulations are solely about keeping Stolas alive. That is his entire stated goal. He elaborates with “Eternity is a long time my dear” and he sounds fascinated that Stolas is behaving this way. Like Andrealphus has an opportunity for something now. I was just like “In a different context this would read like Andrealphus manipulating her into keeping Stolas alive to save his life. Like technically Andrealphus saved Stolas this episode. That’s interesting.”

And then my brain snagged on the cover of the romance book, it being two avian demons and of course the trailer where we don’t see Stella coming for Stola and Blitz but Andrealphus.

And like if all this was happening because Andrealphus has been secretly in love with Stolas this whole time and found out she hired Striker the first time time so has been trying to keep him alive and get Stella settled and happy and out of the way so he can be with him? Like obviously Stolas would have no idea, but Andrealphus pining for him and doing all these things he doesn’t need to do since he’s already rich and powerful would make much more sense. In the short term, like I said they’ll prob reveal something about his actual motivations soon. But looking at where we are right this second that is not incredibly outlandish. It would take like a few flashbacks to sell that and make it work with the current plot.

Andrealphus making his case and Stolas being like “But I love Blitz” would even lead into a really interesting start to the class conflict. Andrealphus can’t believe an imp could be better than him, would be preferred over HIM a royal, and instead of doing what a romantic hero with that plot should do he goes villainous and tries to kill them. Like what an interesting thing for Stolas, to have the cliche romantic hero moment he wanted BECAUSE of a twisted cliche romantic plot line? And Andrealphus’s twisted romance begins a larger divide between imps and Ars Goetia in S3.

Like isn’t that wild? Wouldn’t that be amazing?

[chaifootsteps]

I wanna start this out by saying I’ve known about vivzie for at least maybe 5 years or more now, and have never been interested in her shows until my YouTube recommended was bombarded with videos covering Hazbin which forced me (sarcasm) to watch both series overnight.

I started with ep 4 first because it was the most controversial and I wanted to actively torture myself, half of the interest in ep 4 for me was the fact that I generally have a strong stomach when it comes to certain shit, including what I’ll call trauma porn, which is basically just a constant flow of traumatic horrible shit happening to a character or characters on screen for sympathy or to poorly simulate a provocative, deep story through a constant bombarding of terrible things. I like horror and I was groomed using some fucked up shit so emotionally I’m not easily fazed by a lot of things outside of extreme sexual violence. I also have a noncon kink as a victim of sa. I’ll say that I wasn’t as disturbed as I’d initially thought I’d be, but like. Very confused and bewildered by everything that was happening, it’s difficult to describe, but at some point I stopped trying to be immersed and kept thinking about how this got published as is. The moment that it all turned into what I could best describe as a music video I almost wanted to laugh at the absurdity and how bad this all was. Like. They thought this was what? Thought provoking? Not clearly just a fetish put on screen for the shock value of it all?

It’s not one of the most tasteless depictions of sexual assault I’ve seen, but that’s mainly because it’s so juvenile, it’s akin to how children write things like this in their fanfics and oc stories. I definitely understand why people were caught off guard by it — especially younger viewers because this is tasteless as all fuck. I get having certain fucked up kinks, but like. Inserting certain things into your works meant to be seen by a larger audience is so fucking stupid.

But like, I’d argue it’s all over the place as someone who’s seen media like this. Like in helluva boss, I’d argue the stolas kidnapping episode was full of it. In a lot of yaoi stuff that I was groomed on violence is a sort of “foreplay” in the story, it preludes the noncon bits, plays into greater themes of humiliation and domination. Moxie also has a bunch of weird shit done to him that fits a lot of the shit I’ve seen including that whole episode where they meet his dad. Admittedly, I liked fizz and asmodeus because the next time we see them they’re being domestic and shit and it was a good break for my brain because I couldn’t stand the plot and a good chunk of our cast, but yeah they also fall into yaoi tropes though it’s not the most egregious. Stolitz is just your general yaoi trope, questionable consent paired with a will they won’t they with the objectifying party realizing they’re actually in love with the person they’re constantly objectifying who is made out as the bad guy for not reciprocating their feelings for obvious reasons. Also the royalty x poor person plot line where the poor person is bought at some point for the royal, the only thing inherently different than most stories I’ve seen as that stolas is the bottom and blitz is the top. Half of the reason I can’t stand any of this shit is that most of the masculine characters will definitely have a male love interest or character that they use to write in more yaoi storylines and. Yaoi storylines suck ass. It’s a shame that this is counted as queer fiction at all because it is just plain yaoi shit, and as a gay guy I hate that.

Anyways fuck this show actually coming out and fucking with the YouTube algorithm enough to get my attention, I wish I could take those hours of my life back, but I will definitely rant about this again.

Please come by again to share if you do! Lord knows there's so much to be ranted about.

[demonicintegrity]

Got around to watching the new Helluva Boss and I’m pleasantly surprised at the turn around. Season two has had a wild flux in writing quality imo but I think this episode is arguably one of the strongest ones yet (outta both seasons.)

It also seems to be the longest episode so far, surprising considering it’s not a finale, but they make good use of the time.

Honestly a lot of the episode reminds me of how season one was set up. With a center clearly around Blitzø but still checking up on Stolas. And it’s very episodic and self contained again, which is great because that appears to be the crew’s strong spot.

Speaking of which, this is the first we’ve seen of Stolas since s2e4. I’m surprised it took until e6 of this season to circle back to him, but at least we’re not ignoring him. I personally would’ve at least teased how Stolas was doing after such a big blow, especially considering how the s2 is set up to be extremely focused on him and Blitzø’s relationship, but this works well too.

It works because we’re getting a little insight on Stolas’ frame of mind without causing pacing issues. He’s clearly recovered but focused on getting Blitzø out of his life again. He’s trying to distance himself from Blitzø still. Likely still in that “this was never going to work he doesn’t deserve to be tied to me” type mindset after the season opening.

But we see him briefly really appreciate what Ozzie and Fizz have. He seems genuinely happy for them, and likely is because Stolas has always been a hopeless romantic and a decent person despite things.

Speaking of Fizz, delightfully surprised out how his character is. I didn’t go in with anything specific in mind for him besides knowing he genuinely loved Ozzie but we have a really rounded out character with depth in a very short amount of time. I genuinely like his character.

(And someone’s made a separate post on this, but how Fizzy’s disability is treated is both done well and a bit of fresh air from the usual rep we see. He never denies that being disabled pained him greatly, but the tragedy in his past isn’t being disabled but being betrayed and heartbroken. Nor is he helpless because of it or overpowered because of his prosthetics. It’s not explicitly ignored I think the crew handled this really really well.)

But along with his character, my biggest interest is in how Fizz is now set up to be a foil to Blitzo. Like it's pretty obvs what he and Ozzie has is meant to parallel what Stolas/Blitzo could or even want to have. (Which in turn could mean Stolas/Blitzo is the kinda reputation Ozzie/Blitzo were trying so hard to avoid. A weird power dynamic and piss poor communication on top of the general perception those two have from outsiders.) They're in very similar boats but how each character addresses it that makes the circumstances so different.

And I think we have something really interesting being set up between Fizz and Blitzo. Both of them got enough closure for Fizz to genuinely want to let go some of the grudge. And I think theyre are some options on where to go with them, cuz I doubt this is the end of Fizz we're seeing.

I could see Fizz getting bored one day and reaching out in curiosity to see whats become of Blitz. Maybe the two can piece together the more correct timeline of events of the old circus since the fire. I can also see a potential plotline of Fizz getting I.M.P to be his bodyguards if he has to go out again for this or that reason.

I would also love more Ozzie and Stolas interacting. It would be good for Stolas to have Literally Just A Singular Friend. Cuz he doesnt seem to have any, and Ozzie doesn't seem to have anything personal against Stolas. He could probably be a good rational neutral voice for Stolas to bounce off of. He also just needs a friend if he ever wants a hope of his mental health improving. He seems to be trying to improve himself, but thats also the kinda thing you need a support system for.

Overall, I like this episode. The pacing and story itself was contained nicely and was a good watch. The humor stuck. And we have great leads to pick back up on later.

[fivefeetfear]

Chp 8

…….

“She looks so sweet.” A voice coos softly above me.

“Right? Till she wakes up and she’s a total bitch again.” Fizzarolli cracks. I smirk softly to myself as I slowly open my eyes.

“I heard that.” I reach up and pinched his cheek. Fizzarolli yelps as he cover his face from my pinching fingers wrath. I sit up from the comfortable bed releasing a soft yawn.

“Awwww! She is so cute!! Like a kitten!” Asmodeus coos as he laid in front of us on his bed, his hands supporting his chin. I blush softly as I adjusted myself upright not sure how to gage this moment.

“Good morning Asmodeus.” Weak. The large demon gives me finger waves as a large smile graces his face.

“Morning kitten. I’m sorry if we disturbed you.” He apologizes.

“It’s fine. Do any of you want breakfast? I can cook.” I offer. Asmodeus and Fizz peek at each other before laughing. What’s so funny?

“Oh n/n, We have people for that. Just call downstairs and the chef will make it.” The jester informs coolly as he laid back on the cozy large pillow. Chef? I guess that make sense, they are the richest demons in the lust ring.

“Oh ok, cool.” I respond flatly. I didn’t know what to talk about.

“Also kitten Fizzy explain your concerns to me already. I am absolutely fine with not having a physical relationship if you are not ready. But I’ll happy be your daddy~.” My cheeks burned with color as my eyes widen. Ok. So this happening. I took a moment to compose myself as I clear my throat.

“Thank you. This is all so new to me and Ollie and I are…friends?” I ask trying to place a word for our situation.

“I like to think of it as relationship rehab. RR for short.” Fizz says as he pokes between my eyes. I mean he’s not wrong.

“Yeah that. We are still working out the kinks.” Shit.

“Mhm I like to work out your ki-“ I immediately shut him up by dragging his hat down over his eyes and shoving him hard on the bed.

“Is he always like this?” I ask Asmodeus. The large demon nods as he picks me.

“Kitten you have no idea.” He answers as he led me to the bathroom so I can clean myself up.

“Hey wait for me!”

………

A week has passed and I was having the time of my life! Fizz and Asmodeus have been wonderful to me. Fizzarolli took me on a couple of low key dates so the paparazzi didn’t spot us. Asmodeus shower me with gifts from jewelry, shoes, food and clothes. I fucking love food! I have outfits for future dates with the two when we do announce the relationship. And When I had shows  they both left me large bouquets of flowers with my favorite candy and champagne. The couple of times Blitz saw the gifts I lied and said they were from fans. I felt bad for lying to him but I wasn’t ready for him to know just yet. Especially since he has been helping me with my new song. I was booked to sing in the gluttony ring and I needed to show a different side of me. Apparently To them I came off one diminished to those fools and I need to prove there’s more underneath. He suggested to write about my break up with Fizzarolli and it just brought up old feelings. It was very difficult to write about it knowing how badly it hurt to be with him and then go back to his place. He’s been helping work on it and he’s been very supportive during my “trying times”. Fuck I’m a bitch. The show is tomorrow night and I wanted it to be fucking over.

“N/n?” Fizzarolli calls out pulling me out my train of thought. Oh yeah I was watching a movie with him, we are at my apartment this time.

“You got real quiet, everything ok?” He asks softly as he rubs the knuckles on my hand. I nod as I lean my head on his chest.

“Yeah. I’m just nervous to sing my new song tomorrow at the gluttony ring.” I answer sighing heavily. He nods as he pulls me closer.

“Yeah they are some stuck up fuckers but you’ll do fucking great!” He encourages. I hum still feeling guilty. Guilty that I’ll be singing how he fucked me over all the while he’s fucking me. I felt like a fraud.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” He offers as he adjust me sit in his lap.

“Just hold me.” I answer. Fizz smiles as he winds his arms around my middle multiple times pulling me close to him.

“Sure thing.” The tv kept playing as we cuddle.  He would whisper corny jokes to help cheer me. I appreciated his efforts as I played with the bells at the end of his hat.

“Ollie?”

“Mhm?” He moves his head to look at me.

“I just want you to know I notice the efforts you’ve been making for us to work. Thank you.” I whisper. Things are confusing but I know I still have very strong feelings for this creature. No one has ever made me feel so…light.

“I’m not forgetting what you did but I am willing to forgive. And not just for you but for me. I’m not fully there yet but just know your efforts are recognized.” Fizzarolli eyes softens as he places butterfly kisses all around my face.

“Thank you n/n, I will do everything I can to earn your forgiveness, your trust and love. And This time I’ll never let go.”

“Promise?” I ask.

“I fucking promise, stick a needle in my eye if I tell a lie.” He says. I playfully roll my eyes at the call back. The three of us would say this to each other when we were younger. It brought good memories of us being young and dumb. Thinking back at it, it made me sad on how things ended with us. The three of us always had a good time together, I wish we could go back to that.

“I also need you to try to be nicer to Blitz, he is my friend. He was yours too.” Fizz groans as he leans back on the couch.

“That guys is a fucking train wreck. You know I found out it was him and his stupid friends that burned down Loo Loo land.” I gave a nervous smile as I look away.

“Welllllll in all fairness Robo Fizz did attack first.”

“N/n! You knew!?” He ask surprised that I withheld this info from him.

“I’m sorry! He told me before we made up and I thought it was funny! But now…now I feel bad.” I explain. The demon clown crosses his arms over his chest as he look away from me.

“Please don’t be mad! At least you have your other bots!” Fizzarolli huffs louder. I pouted as I lean against him. I was poking him all over the face. He didn’t budge. I tickle his sides. Nothing. Fine I’ll take one for the team.

“Please don’t be upset with me Ollie. I understand why you are. If you want, you can punish me for being a naughty girl~.” I purr in his ear. This instantly grabs his attention as he sprung over me and pin me to the couch.

“That sounds like a good idea toots~. You have been very bad so be a good little slut and spread those legs for me. It’s gonna be a longggg night.” I bit my lower lip as my eyes grew heavy with lust.

“Please fuck me hard daddy~.”

…………

“That gown looks so cute!” Asmodeus gushes. I hum in thought as I look myself over in the mirror. I was trying on dresses for my show tonight. I was currently modeling a puffy dress that had too many bows on it.

“It is cute. But I’m going for sultry. Dark.” I tell him having the employees help undress me.

“Ok try on the next one.” He snaps his fingers rushing the employee to move faster. A tall demon handed me a black dress with fine glitter on the material. This one caught my eyes as I excitedly began to put it on. With a few zips and ties the dress was on and I felt gorgeous. Oh my Satan. I can’t. This is so fucking beautiful.

“Momo this is the one!” I squeak ecstatically. I turn around for him to see me and he gasps.

“Oh kitten! You look riveting!” I blush brightly as I twirl in the large dress.

“I love it Momo!”

“My kitten you will be the talk of the night! Ma’am can you please ring up the dress, here’s my card.”

“Of course!” I stop my twirling as I looked at Asmodeus

“Momo I have money you don’t have to buy it.” I check the price of the dress, though it was out of budget it was doable. The lust demon waved me off as he walks over to me kneeling down.

“Oh hush now. This is my gift to you. All the seven rings are going to recognize you as the star you are.” His large hand strokes my cheeks ever so softly. I close my eyes as I lean into his touch. His hands are always so warm.

“Thank you Momo.” I gesture for him to lean down. When he did I plant a soft kiss on his lips for our first kiss. I could tell he was holding back, doing his best not to add too much pressure. Treating me like a fragile flower.

“Hubba hubba~ can I join?” Fizzarolli ask. He had wonder off around the store to be a menace to those who were shopping. The two of smile breaking the sweet kiss as we cast our eyes to the needy jester.

“Thank you for ruining our first kiss Fizzy.” Momo says making Fizzarolli shrug.

“You call that a kiss? Here I’ll show you a kiss.” And with that Fizzarolli stretches over to me. With a quick spin, he wrap his arms around my figure, dips me low before planting a rough kiss upon my lips. What a show off. Before I could indulge myself into the kiss I could hear a faint clicking sound from behind me. Breaking the kiss I could see the employee snapping a few photos of me and Ollie kissing. How long has she been standing there?! The woman notice me notice her and she fumbled with her phone and hid it behind her back.

“oh excuse! I didn’t mean to intrude.” I shove Fizzarolli off me as I stood up straight quickly shutting the door.

“We are so fucked.” I droned shaking my head.

“Not necessarily. Maybe it’s a kink she has,  taking photos of people kissing in dressing rooms it’s kind a hot! It could be for her personal stash”. Fizzarolli try to reason.

“ I highly doubt it. She is a woman making minimum wage and just saw two of the most popular demon  kissing a rising superstar! That sounds like juicy inside info that will give her one hell of a pay day!” Fizz grew quiet as he nod.

“ you got a point.” I groan loudly as I sat on the floor with my puffy dress. Momo sat before me stroking my head doing his best to soothe my nerves.

“Don’t worry Kitten, it will all be ok.” He says. Maybe or maybe not. But there wasn’t any use thinking about it now. We’ll just have to see what she does with them. Or we can get it back, maybe pay her off? That seems more like a plan that will work. I  begin to prepare to spend a shit ton of money for a couple of photos before standing up.

“Ok.” I sigh. But next thing I knew there was a loud commotion coming outside the dressing room.

“OBSCURE! HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN FUCKING FIZZAROLLI AND ASMODEUS?!”

“OBSCURE DID YOU SLEEP YOUR WAY TO WORKING AT OZZIES!?” There were lots of voices screaming from the door until it burst open. The room was immediately flooded with paparazzi with cameras shouting questions at me. Asmodeus quickly scoops me and Fizzarolli and put us away in his blazer hiding us from the vicious individuals. What the fuck is happening?! My phone was chiming loudly and quickly with new notifications. I check my device before I click on anything I received a text from Blitz. He sent photos of me kissing both Asmedous and Fizzarolli from moments ago with the words.

“What the fuck?”

………

Cliff hanger !

[all-good-things-dot-dot-dot]

All Good Things… The Good With the Bad.

All Good Things… The Good With the Bad. #Blog #Bloggerstribe #AllGoodThings… 24th June 2020 Hello, Chaps and Chapettes,

(Source: https://www.keengamer.com/articles/guides/list-of-common-fallout-4-pc-errors-and-how-to-fix-them/ ) It might have seemed like I stopped for a little bit there, huh? In actual fact, I have still been writing, but more or less in the background rather than doing a full-on post like this. Does that mean I’ve been “neglecting my duties” or “forgetting the challenge” I set myself to write for thirty minutes a day? Well, sort of. I cannot lie. Let’s see if we can analyze what happened here and correct the error, shall we? The main hiccup was actually on Friday where I did not write anything at all. I did end up writing that blog on Saturday and followed it up with the actual Saturday blog which I wrote and posted on Sunday, but by then I was already going back on several guidelines that I’d set myself. The first was to ensure that I wrote thirty minutes a day, this was missed on Friday, and the second was to have a break on Sunday.

I’ll come back to Friday in a bit and how I’ll resolve that in the future but I also want to talk about why Monday and Tuesday also didn’t happen. Monday was an oddly exhausting day. The heat has been creeping up this week, today being the hottest so far, but Monday was still cool. I had to take a nap after work and then when I did sit down to write, what I wanted to write was not one of these. Instead, I wanted to work on “Scoundrels”, a story about colorful ponies living in apocalyptic times. They swear, take drugs, shoot guns, it’s fun to write. The reason I wanted to write that, was because on Tuesday I attended an online workshop by a fellow writer who goes by the codename “Somber”. I know there’s non-bronies who read this on my Tumblr so, to summarise, they wrote a particularly famous FanFiction called “Fallout Equestria; Project Horizons”, millions of peeps have read it. It’s also a spin-off from an equally successful story called “Fallout: Equestria” (written by another fanfiction writer, KKat). Somber has a background teaching English so a class on Creative Writing was practically extra studies for my university course!

(Art by me, see https://derpibooru.org/images/2200843 )

The workshop was brilliant. Unfortunately, I didn’t get to workshop my story as we ran out of time but I didn’t feel too down about this. I made friends with a few other fellow writers and so could happily learn and share ideas with them. This ran on quite late and by the time it had ended, the clock was telling me I wouldn’t wake up for work if I didn’t attempt to sleep. That, neatly, leads me to today. As you can see, although I’ve had a busy day of work, walking to and from the shops and watching “Game Night” with my brother, I still managed to find the time to write this. That’s because tonight I had the time. That’s important. Friday, the time wasn’t there. I had to be there for a friend who was in need and since my chat, I have it on good authority that their life is looking up. Sunday was father’s day and I wanted to see both dad and stepdad, which I accomplished. Both men had a great day and felt loved, which was another mission accomplished. Sunday night was blitzed by a migraine and it took two paracetamol two hours to put those fires in my brain out. Monday, as said, was a very tiring day. But I also spent time writing something, even if it wasn’t this. So there was still something completed by the close of the day. Tuesday, there was work, I had my mother pop over for something, I had to cook dinner, and despite all of this still managed to make Somber’s workshop and find writing allies. Do you see where I’m going with this? Basically, just because you don’t get done what you wanted to do, do not look at it as a wasted day. Even a rest day is a success, so long as it is used to let you prepare for some harder work ahead. You are not failing if you didn’t hit that word count, or forgot to do something you wanted to do, or missed that walk to slim down the spare tractor tyre your gut has become. Even little accomplishments are still a win in the grand scheme of things and believe me they make all the difference. And sometimes, if someone you know, care about, or love is in need of you, then you should down tools to help them. Let me reiterate that it should be somebody you care about or at least someone who will return the favor along the line. There are people, even family, who can be a drain on your time, resources, and energy. I learned that the hard way last week (see my blog about bullies). Follow your head in these instances, especially if it is aligned with your heart. Most of all, I want you to take this away with you. Did you wake up today? Do you know how many didn’t get out of bed? Pulled a sickie? Or gave up? You didn’t so in that sense you’re already winning. Now go treat yourself to some cake, champ, you earned it. Stay safe, stay happy. All good things, Love, Scaramouche. X Oh, eerrrr, still here? Okay, let me square with you. Thirty mins just ran out but I wanted to include this; I am writing a spin-off of that “Fallout: Equestria,” series too, as I mentioned, called “Scoundrels”. I did have a lot of the story already up in my FIMFiction library, but I have unpublished it. Here are my reasons; I didn’t like how confusing it was. It felt like it started in the middle of a story. I had made choices as a writer that took the story in some strange directions. I made the plot too complicated. I made some of the good characters unlikeable. I made it too long while not much/ too much happened. So, I am holding onto what I wrote. I want to rewrite it, so that story that you may or may not have read does still exist and isn’t a waste of time, it just needs surgery. When it’s ready, you’ll be able to see it again. Until then, here’s a sneak peek at “Scoundrels”, the ponies of the apocalypse story I will be writing, have edited and polished before I publish it as fanfiction. Enjoy!

(Artist: Brainiac - see https://derpibooru.org/profiles/Brainiac ) ~ Scoundrels Written by Scaramouche “War,” a voice, masculine and gravelly, haunted my hangover. “War never changes.” It wasn’t much, but it was enough to stir me from where I’d attempted to make my early grave. My snout had the telltale feeling you got when you accidentally snorted water while submerged in a pool... Or hit too much Dash. I pushed my hooves out around me before my eyes were able to open and felt tiny canisters rattle away from me wherever I moved. My ribs hurt, telling me I hadn’t found a nice or even barely comfortable place to flop. The information fed back to me from all my senses came to the conclusion that I’d bucked up again. Daring to wake, I cracked my eyes open for as long as I could muster and fluttered the lids ‘til I could make out the shapes of a flickering square of light in the night-time room. Black and white images flashed through the screen of ponies dressed in armor and uniforms, those in the foreground attempting an escape with their wounded while the “best and bravest” continued to fight, to injure, to die. The image changed to Wonderbolts tearing over a coal cloud that once belonged to a shining city. I realized it was Manehattan, the place I’d hailed from. I knew from the shadow of a building topped with a huge pony head choking on the fumes. The Pegasi just seemed like haunting crows over that havoc. After the Manehattan skyline lingered for a few seconds, it switched to a shot taken behind ponies hiding from the invisible foe in a shady tunnel. Their silhouettes were huddled and perpetually expecting the worst of what was to come. Image after image along with the low, tedious voice seemed to mingle with the throbbing headache I’d gained. It reminded me that as gloomy as these images were, they were only the precursor for the apocalyptic times that came after them. I watched, laid lazily on my side among spent stims I’d used to forget the woes of the new world. I couldn’t help thinking that those dumb saps who had lived nearly a hundred years ago never knew how lucky they were. They could still trust the folks either side of them and that was more than could be said for most ponies this side of a century. “... But out of the devastation that arose from the wars, a few were able to reach stables that could house and shield them underground.” The narrator of the scenes kept going with his spiel regardless of whether I was listening or not. I looked about, but it quickly became apparent to me that the voice was just that. A recording from a stallion no doubts long gone now. There was nopony else in the place but for me that I could see. Nonetheless, he persisted. “Your family was part of that group and took refuge in Stable Thirteen.” On-screen, a snap of the giant cog that had once locked up this subterranean vault could be seen. “No, they weren’t, pal,” I grouched, squinting about the area still while battling with some persistently annoying amber locks of mane in my eyes. Something in this place was still trying to live, based on the squealing of a harmed fan spinning in the walls. Thanks to the projection lamp, I could see the tiles that dripped from the ceilings as age and erosion pulled them down. Wires knotted into nooses hung out from the ceiling gaps. Across dirty, rusted floors, the corpses of chairs lay on their sides and backs, stricken by the last unknown executions that had taken place here. Near me and my graveyard of used drug containers, a card crate lay on its side in a beaten state. “You are the first generation born in this stable to have not known the-the-the--” Apparently, I still wasn’t to know what “the” was. Above me, the box that had created this depressing light and sound show for me fizzed, crackled, sparked, then died. All light failed and draped a veil casually over me and space. Yet, this wasn’t as terrifying to me as might have been to somepony else. I sighed, relaxed, and let the gentle black patch encourage my head to heal. The festering stable was dead, the complaining sounds of the vents now a memory, and it was good. It was calming. I could maybe forget everything and fall back into a graceful slumber with it. After all, a ship in the harbor is a ship that’s safe... Of course, fate intervened. “Breeze! Breeze, where are you?” The voice was distant, but it was growing closer. “Gypsy Breeze, I swear on the spirit of Celestia, if you don’t get your ass into gear…” Fresh, battery-powered light began to dawn around the edges of the forever-open doorway into the corridors, confirming that the calling, living voice wasn’t far from finding me. “Buck,” I grunted to myself and pushed back the pain sloshing side to side in my cranium. I had to get myself up before they found me and the evidence littered around me. My legs complained but lifted me, allowing me to stand and let my brain cease paddling about in my skull. I swung a hoof out, brought it down, then my face immediately met the oxidized floor once more as a giggling Dash inhaler tripped me and twirled away. “Breeze?” They’d heard my tumble. “Buck,” I hissed painfully and scrambled back up, firing up a spell. I knew the caller in the halls would see the light but hoped I’d be quick enough. Despite the magic throbbing behind my junked-out eyes, I gathered all the emptied Dash I could see in the enchanted light. Catching as many as I could levitate, I shoved them into the deteriorated box, managing to slip the last of them away when a blinding orb swung through the door. I covered my bleary eyes and snarled out at a feeling only a vampire pony in the baking sun would understand. “Gypsy!” The dazzling sprite squeaked. “That’s my name— Buck, Hayfever, could you drop the light of that thing? My bucking eyes are about to explode…” mercifully, the beam lowered to ground level, allowing me to partially see the mare I knew behind it. Her sunset orange wings were spread in preparation to once more admonish me while the expression on the pegasus remained concerned. “You split from me again, Breeze. Ottawa said this stable is particularly dangerous, we shouldn’t be going off alone when--” “Ottawa was wrong,” I skulked somehow towards the door and waved my hoof back the way she’d come from. “I caught a terminal back up that way and… I dunno, something about the water talisman failing? Either way, the pony meant to fix it shuffled out the main door, and never came back. After that, the rest of the dwellers overthrew the overstallion and let themselves out of their own accord. Probably likely that nopony’s been here since.” If I’d have sounded more sure of myself in that last comment, I might not have seen doubt spread across her freckled, gold-lit face. “No, somepony has been here before us,” she suggested, “I found the mattresses pulled out of their rooms and laid together in the atrium. There was waste and broken gear that could only have come from outside too. Could be scavs, could be raiders, either way, we don’t want to take our chances.” “It could have easily been the Stable Thirteen ponies too,” I countered, “especially if they were going back and forth in and out of here, not wanting to--” I interrupted myself, as a false step kicked something, which ricocheted off of the metal wall and swirled unfortunately into the light of Hayfever’s torch. It only took her a second to realize what it was and I was already cringing guiltily when the light raised back accusingly at me. “Gypsy Breeze, you silly mare,” she scolded as well as any experienced mother could, “Using? Again? I thought you were beating this.” “It’s not mine,” I played the part of a lying teenager as best as I could, “it’s from those raiders you were bitching about--” “Oh, so now we believe in the raiders?” She had another quick examination of the inhaler and sighed, ruffling her wings in irritation as she walked past me, ensuring her hoofsteps echoed her annoyance. “When I agreed to hide your troubles from the rest of Helping Hooves, it was on the promise that you were going to make an effort to quit from them. Not so that you could privately indulge in the stuff.” She collected my saddlebag, discarded on a spineless chair, and was about to toss it to me when she had second thoughts. At my protests, she flipped the flap open first and rifled through up, digging out what she had expected to find almost instantly. Five more full inhalators of Dash were plucked out and tossed into the void of the room before she was comfortable returning my near-empty sack to me. “I’m not doing it to be an ass to you, Gypsy,” she said as I mournfully took the bag and slipped it back on. “As mayor of Helping Hooves I have a duty to look out for everypony and that includes you. But if you’re going to endanger lives this way, I’ll have no choice but…” I waited for what kind of penalty she’d place on me. Yet, all she could do was gaze at me, not mad, just disappointed. I gave a low groan, both out of the pain of coming down and the guilt of letting down a mare who was just looking out for my best interests. “Can we just get out of here?” I pleaded, “the air in here is making me feel sick.” “You sure it’s just the air?” She thrust a hoof forward, directing me on the way to head next. “But you’re right. Let’s just get the spark batteries Ottawa needs and high-tail it out of here…” To be continued...

(Source: https://thegeek.games/2020/03/24/fallout-3-war-war-never-changes-retro-2008/ )

[sachaferrier]

SPECTACULARLY DULLISH

Nimbly loading the 110mm film into my slim line compact camera, I was now ready to capture and record what was to me of significant importance and interest. Having only 24 exposures, I knew that care, rigorous selection and aesthetic quality would be crucial in ensuring that each image would suffice my intentions. Perusing my surroundings I planned my agenda, firstly there were dads slippers strewn on the living room floor, dishevelled in appearance with an uneven wearing to the right sole. Next the cat, unfortunately far to fast for my agile skills and so I settled for her occiput as she darted from view. Long before I even understood still life, my interest had now fallen towards the half used bottle of toxic green washing up liquid perched upon the kitchen sill, its sides a sticky collection of residue and finger prints. Being only 7, my approach to the art of photography could be likened to that of a machine gun wielding revolutionary, peppering the contents of the barrel in every direction possible, without care or concern.

Those 24 exposures were an eclectic collection of the mundanity and normality of 70’s childhood, toys always a keen favourite, wooden handled kitchen utensils, wilting garden plants and of course unsuspecting members of the family. Awarding each image a distinct unequivocal connection to the era was the orange hue, slight blurriness and an exposure which, permanently rested at both ends of the spectrum, very rarely falling into the area of correctness. There was no pause for thought, the roll, once inserted was just as quickly used, the finger never leaving the trigger, everything that passed my peripheral became a subject, nothing could evade the stretch of the plastic lens.

Film exhausted it would be carefully sealed along with the £1.79 developing cost inside the FOTOPOST envelope, the back of which required you to choose the desired print size, which always posed a dilemma in whether what was on the film was worthy of enlargement. Once transferred to the charge of the Royal Mail, all I could do was wait, hopeful that what came back exceeded expectations. True to 70’s efficiency, within a few weeks a brightly coloured envelope adorned with flattering image of Wendy Craig claiming that FOTOPOST was her product of choice would fall through the door, without doubt this was the heaviest and brightest of letters, anchoring itself to the bristles as it thudded to the mat. The heavy din became an invitation to invade privacy, as the majority of fallen sleeves were more often than not brown with red overdue stamps, boldly positioned for all to see, yet now this infrequent thump gave birth to an unwritten rule, that whoever saw first gained rightful honour to front seat premier. This was unfortunate as it enabled an editing process of undesirable portraits to be deleted from the stack before my own inspection.

Leafing through the quantity of highly glossed images there was always a disappointment in my efforts, when recalling the scene intended in comparison to the actual evidence in hand. Unbeknown to me the little 110 always failed to see what I saw, however despondency to one side I now had in my possession a collection of artefacts, relics of yesterday, never to be repeated, which once gazed upon would be relegated to the shoebox under the bed. Blatantly ignoring my own mistakes I would quickly reload with the free film included with my prints and  commence the whole routine once again…same pictures…different day.

I still have most of those prints, buried deep in the attics labyrinthine of stored memories and keepsakes, and thinking back I often question why I took those images, scenes of everything and anything, what was it that forced me to press the button in such a hurried amount of time. Obviously there is no real mystery, firstly age would have been paramount in that this piece of technology was as magical as the golden fleece. To be able to see and then embellish onto paper was nothing to be sniffed at, and at an young age there was no real reason in my commitment. Then of course it was the 70’s, photography was the hobby of masters, of which only the individual bestowed with the title of “Dad” could ever understand, something so complicated and delicate could never be entrusted to women or children. However when we acquired our new Kodak 110mm, its simplicity and sturdy slender brick design seemed ergonomically suited to smaller hands…..and brains.

Today my approach and interest to photography has altered greatly, I very rarely carry a camera outside of work (albeit the phone) and don’t feel the urge to capture what I have viewed time and time before. This isn’t to say that I don’t take random snaps, because I do, its just you never really see them, as with their predecessors they end up in the shoebox, although now its digital. Maybe it’s age or laziness, but I sometimes struggle to understand why people feel the need to record certain occasions, and the point in interest is fireworks! This week the veins of social media have been forcefully injected with an overdose of blurring incandescent light trails, explosions and streaks, set against thickly smoked skies, all gently falling back to earth  from whence they came. Having November 5th fall on the weekend, gave right of passage for three whole nights of wartime blitzing, back garden jaunts, organised events and or course youth fuelled duels with Roman candles, so inevitably someone, somewhere would take out the camera. For me the hands stayed safely buried inside the thermal lining of my jacket, watching and recording the screeching dazzling lights mentally, I could if needed describe the spectacular images verbally, but at no point did I feel the need to record, reproduce digitally and share. Surely I’m not the only one who see’s this weeks firework displays and unconsciously replaces last years arresting memory with this years fresh vision of dazzling awe. The images administered in heavy doses I feel fall into two distinct categories, those of occasions and those of just light and sky and its the latter portion which puzzles me. Images void of people, buildings, perspective or attachment, ambiguous evanescent memories that over time fade, just as quickly as the burning cinders floating elegantly and sorrowfully back down to the loam.

I’ve never seen the appeal in photographing fireworks. When there is nothing else within the image over time you are unable to specify a year or recall the events that preceded or followed, the image becomes just another firework, all lights no fizz. Photography is such a plenteous and generous medium , capturing what you saw and if given the opportunity so much more. The images shot with the 110mm, clearly show unvarying tediousness in all its glory, however it’s everything else captured within the frame and outside which has grown and become far more important than the initial topic intended for capture forty years ago. Those images over time have now blossomed into a treasured memory of childhood, acting to fill in the forgotten blanks, painting vivid recollections of youth. The bottle of soap is still there, but now what protrudes more prominently are the cracked red tiles of the sill, the mildew infested fissures of the window frame and the chink in the pane allowing access to the elements. Grubby tide marks creeping up the tulle drapes developed over years of mopping up suds from behind the taps, the parched thirsty plant pot and its struggling foliage and even more exciting the hazy view to the outside. Through the window you can see the neglected swing, of which my brother and I discovered is only made for one, a silhouette of a long forgotten pet dog and the garden shed where many an invention was created. All this from a simple photo of a bottle of suds.

Even the image of the cats hind shares more than intended, the torn linoleum flooring caused through years of gouging canine talons,  mop residue against the grubby kick-boards and the left foot of my brother, shoed in green flash. Forty years later the images work to trigger memory, leading the thought process in various directions of recall, structuring a clear untarnished memory image of home , as if it were yesterday. As mundane and pointless I presumed these images were, they now have been dusted and brought back to prominence through time, ageing and memory, And this is where I struggle with imagery that sits in the firework domain, what will the image of the black night and spray of gunpowder deliver in 40 years? Will these images unlock suppressed memories from that night, in my opinion I don’t think they will, their glory will be a profile picture, a handful of likes from friends and wannabe’s and then deletion…not even into a shoebox. 

Photography is extremely magnanimous towards its keeper, an ambiguous image of normality can over time deliver layer upon layer of memory, guide and open thoughts to moments long forgotten. Photography is simply a way of recording memories, hence why every notable occasion is captured, and even in old images of family gatherings, around the initial protagonist a strata of stories and answers can be found. We don’t have to save the camera for the spectacular, the whirring lights and falling ash, but capture whats in front of us, what we take for granted, I for one would be more interested in seeing the faces of the spectators than the actual subject they are spectating. Photography  will successfully capture a moment, but what we all may be guilty of is wasting that moment on a scene which serves no purpose other than to amuse briefly. Quite simply photography I feel has become a perpetual stoning of impermanent scenes, which with pause into where you direct the lens, could once again serve to yield layers of preserved reminiscent echoes for many years to come.