Tumgik
#I was just thinking about something that upset me a while ago
jadeylovesmarvelxo · 8 hours
Text
The fight was ugly. The first fight that you and Eddie had turned from a quiet disagreement to a full blown yelling match.
Truthfully you couldn't remember what the fight was actually about. Something silly, something miniscule that turned into a big thing.
A big argument with some horrible things said; you still couldn't get Eddie's words out of your head.
"Why would this mean anything? It's just sex isn't it?" Eddie snapped and your heart broke into a million tiny pieces. Just sex. Right. Of course that's what you two were.
Truthfully you were a mess and you should have just gone straight back home after storming out of the trailer.
Eddie has tried to go after you but you were faster and ran before he could catch up with you.
Instead you bumped into a few of your friends and hitched a ride to some party that one of Jason Carver's friends were throwing. Robin noticed your tear streaked cheeks and gave your hand a reassuring squeeze.
She was the only one of your friends who knew about Eddie; maybe Steve as well as him and Robin were as thick as thieves. Like platonic soulmates or something.
You and Eddie got together two months ago, passing off the hook ups as just mind-blowing sex and that worked at first. That's until you begun to get to know Eddie better and the two of you spent more time together.
Eddie was easy to fall in love with. His reputation portrayed him as mean and scary, satan obsessed and someone people should stay away from.
He was none of those things, he was kind and fiercely loyal to his friends and uncle, he was passionate and badass and really it was no surprise that you fell in love with him.
At least now you know that he doesn't feel the same way, at least you found out now before it was too late and you were even more in love with him than you are now.
Maybe you could just hang with your friends and forget the words that had broken your heart tonight.
At least you hoped that was possible.
❤️
Fuck, you really should have went home. Your head was pounding, the two beers you had made you even more anxious and upset. To make matters worse Tyler Harvey wouldn't leave you alone, he had zeroed in on you from the second you had walked through the door.
As much as you tried to avoid him, he followed you around and it was beginning to give you the creeps.
He manages to corner you when you're trying to get up to the bathroom with Robin. He stinks of beer, smoke and sweat and it turns your stomach a little bit.
Leather, smoke and the hints of woods and musk were your favourite scents in the world right now and that had to do with the man you were trying not to think about.
You cringe away from Tyler but he's so drunk that he doesn't seem to notice, he moves closer to you and you instinctively step back.
"Can you move please? Robin and I need to go upstairs" you ask him but he doesn't appear to be listening.
"Aww why don't you come upstairs with me? I'll take care of you" Tyler smirks but you don't like the look in his eyes and immediately step away from him. Yeah...no thanks. Robin is at your side at once and glares at Tyler.
"Take the hint asshole. She's not interested" Robin gently guides you away but Tyler grabs your arm at the same time and you stumble, landing hard on the floor. It knocks the wind out of you and your body throbs from the contact with the floor.
Tyler scrapers from the scene without even checking to see if you're alright. Robin is cursing out Tyler and helps you up. You're sore, annoyed and just want to go home.
Steve appears out of nowhere and Robin mentions that she called Steve when you mentioned you were getting a migraine. Relief fills you, at least you could go to Steve's for a little while and try and salvage some of the night with him and Robin.
There's a tiny voice inside of you that is aching for Eddie and it's growing stronger. You dismiss the idea, you're sure that Eddie was glad to be rid of you. That thought caused a new throbbing ache in your chest and you hurried outside with Steve and Robin determined not to think about Eddie and his big brown eyes.
❤️
As soon as you're at Steve's he puts in a movie and you settle up on the couch with Robin while Steve makes snacks. Being here is soothing and you rest your head on Robin's
Steve's landline ringing breaks you out of your sleep, Steve hurries to answer it and your heart skips a beat when you realise it's Eddie.
"Yeah, yeah dude she's with me and Robin. Some shit went down at a party we were at... Oh that asshole friend of Jason was being a prick. Yeah Tyler is it? Woah calm down man, she's fine. She's just tired"
You get up which is a little tricky as the sudden movement makes your migraine feel ten times worse but you really want to speak to Eddie.
Steve passes the phone over to you and you smile a tiny bit as Eddie is still ranting about what he wants to do to Tyler.
"Eddie, I'm okay" you murmur and he stops his rant and breathes a sigh of relief.
"Sweetheart. Fuck, I've been so worried princess. I went to your house, then Family Video. I even dropped around Wheeler's house which was a shock for Mama Wheeler to see if you were there. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I was a butthead"
The ache in your chest subsides a little bit and you relax. "I'm sorry too. I'm really sorry" tears spill down your cheeks and it's cathartic to finally let them out.
"I'm going to come and pick you up Kay? I'm not going to relax until I see that you're okay. I'll see you in about ten minutes okay?"
The tension you're feeling begins to disappear and you wait for Eddie to arrive, thanking Robin and Steve for being so amazing tonight.
True to his word Eddie arrives as quickly as he says he would and gives Steve and Robin a quick nod in greeting, he immediately pulls you close to him.
His lips press against hair and he briefly talks to Steve before guiding you out the door and into his van.
You're so exhausted from the nights escapades that you're asleep instantly.
❤️
When you wake up you're in Eddie's bed, Eddie is laying beside you and reading Lord of the Rings - The Two Towers. When he realises you're awake he presses his lips to your forehead and he tucks the covers around you, cuddles up at your side and holds you close.
"I'm sorry I was such a dickhead. You have no idea how much you mean to me, you mean everything to me and I was so scared to tell you. So I lashed out and said stupid shit. Things I didn't mean"
There's something unspoken hanging in the air, a familiar tension that's been playing the two of you for a little while now.
"I thought that you were sick of me and that's why you said those things" you confess and play with a start thread on his plaid shirt.
Eddie's jaw drops and he's silent for a moment, "Princess how could you even think that? You're...shit, I've never felt this way about anyone and it's terrifying trying to think of the right words, wondering if you feel the same way" he pauses as he lets the words sink in.
He's blushing, restless and anxious as his eyes meet yours; You sit up and cup Eddie's cheek with your hand.
"How do you feel about me Eddie?" It feels pretty certain now but you'd like to make sure. You'd like to hear him say it.
"I'm in love with you princess. How can you not see that? I guess I was just scared to tell you because I'm not exactly the perfect guy am I?" He scoffs as he says this and you scowl at the way his eyes turn sad.
"I don't care about that Eddie. Who wants perfect? I don't. I think you're amazing and handsome, you're sweet and kind, a gentleman. You make my heart skip a beat when you look at me and I feel at ease and content when I'm with you" his fingers entwined with yours and he sighs.
"You know so many people think I'm a freak, normally I don't give a fuck but I do care what others think about you" you soften and press gentle kisses over his cheek, the action causes him to smile shyly and his tense body relaxes.
"Eddie I don't give a shit what anyone says or thinks. Are you going to give us up just because of some idiots who don't matter? The only people that matter in this relationship are you and me. I love you Eddie, I'm so in love with you"
He looks up at you stunned and then he kisses you fiercely, "No I'm not giving us up. I love you sweetheart so much. You're my girl and I'm not letting you go because of some dumb assholes opinion"
The two of you spend the rest of the night making up and when you're tucked up in Eddie's arms as he falls asleep, you're left with the gentle feeling of this being where you're meant to be.
This trailer, Eddie's room, his arms around you as his soft snores fill the air. The sound of the wind blowing against the windows as you're lulled to sleep.
This felt like home.
💕
I get to love you
It's the best thing that I'll ever do
I get to love you
It's a promise I'm making to you
Whatever may come, your heart I will choose
Forever I'm yours, forever I do
I get to love you, I get to love you.
I Get To Love You- Ruelle
103 notes · View notes
waviebads · 3 days
Text
𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐑𝐎𝐘𝐀𝐋 𝐆𝐔𝐀𝐑𝐃
part.1
Bada Lee!Royal guard x Princess!Reader
Tumblr media Tumblr media
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⌢ . ꒰ ⌢୨୧⌢ ꒱ . ⌢
Summary: Bada is the royal guard of the princess heir to the throne of Ewha, who is secretly in love with her.
Word count: 1,1k
Cw: reader being forced to marry a man.
A/n: Feel free to correct any grammatical errors (English is not my first language) and sorry for the short chapter, the next parts will be longer!!!
Tumblr media
⠀⠀⠀ ⌢ . ꒰ bada's pov ꒱ . ⌢
𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐑... her hair loose with black strands invading her extremely pale and glowing face, her gleaming dark eyes fixed on her reflection in the mirror as her locks were affected by the hairbrush in her hands while I listened to the low, irritated mutterings of the princess in front of me.
Being a royal guard and being close to the princess heir to the throne of the kingdom of Ewha was not easy, in my view, especially when she is such a...beautiful girl. I was asked to be the guard a few months ago and insisted on it by my mother, the king's maid, so that I could do the job as the princess's private guard. Although the princess was an extremely beautiful girl and desired by many, she didn't have any friends, and so when I started to be her private guard and look after her directly, she developed an extreme sympathy for me, being kind and affectionate to me all the time, even though I was just another one of her servants. I particularly didn't mind her friendliness at first, after all, I always thought she was forcing herself to be a humble person for the sake of her reputation as the "Humble Princess", but after a while I realized how sweet and lovely she was and could be, and now this girl was like a drug to me, like something I had to see, have and want to feel all the time, but I couldn't be anything other than her royal guard, after all, we're two women, and any kind of closeness between us would be a wake-up call for everyone. I couldn't deny it, I felt disgusting for feeling things for her, I felt wrong for thinking every night about my fingers undoing the satin ribbons of her dress, but I just couldn't get these thoughts out of my mind, it was impossible, so I kept these feelings and thoughts in my mind and had to act as if we were just close people, maybe even friends, but nothing much. Now I found myself in her room, watching her from afar combing her long, beautiful hair while muttering quietly to herself.
"I can't believe my father is forcing me to marry a man I don't even love!"
I hear another murmur coming from the princess in front of me, and this time she's speaking directly to me, who's standing behind her at a comfortable and respectful distance.
"Well, this is a complicated situation, it must be really hard to think that in a few days you're going to marry a man you don't even know, I'm sorry about that, princess."
I speak in a low, calm tone, trying to somehow reassure the girl in front of me, this time seeing her drop the hairbrush that was in her hands and place it on her dressing table, turning back to meet my gaze.
"I really don't want to go on this date, let alone marry this man. I knew this moment would come, I knew that at some point I would have to find someone to take the throne with me, but I just don't want to marry this man, I don't love him, I don't even know him, but my parents and the kingdom are waiting for my reign, but I'm not happy. Do you think it's fair to me?"
"Definitely not, my princess, but you know that you must join with this man to take the throne, without a man by your side you can't become queen, and this prince will be important to the kingdom of Ewha."
Again, I tried to comfort and reassure the princess with my words, even though I knew they were useless. I couldn't deny that I was just as upset as she was, the thought of a man touching her and having her as his own made my chest ache, I really didn't want that, but it was the right thing to do. Now the girl in front of me was speechless, probably because she was devastated by her situation. She turned back to face her mirror, looking at her figure again and starting to comb her hair as she had been doing before, while remaining completely silent and with her eyes half watering. That scene hurt me inside, seeing her sad and upset at not being able to marry someone she really loves, someone she doesn't even know. I wanted to be that person, I wanted to be able to wake up every day next to her, but that would be impossible, wouldn't it?
My thoughts were cut off the moment I heard knocks on the door of the princess's room, and soon saw one of her servants standing at the door telling the princess that the carriage had arrived to take her to the prince's castle where she was to be married in the future. Even with a lot of discouragement on her face, the princess stands up while straightening her long dress, heading towards the exit of her room before turning to me again.
"Promise me you won't let me marry him?"
As I heard the weak, low words coming from the princess, my heart raced and I felt my hands tremble as I felt my body react to a simple sentence coming from the little girl in front of me. I couldn't promise her anything, not least because I had no power over her or her marriage, but her words were so true and moving that I simply couldn't say a simple "no" to the princess.
"I promise."
My words were short, but full of truth that I had to keep. After the little girl listened to me, she gave a wide, innocent smile that made my heart soar even more with that beautiful scene of her smiling at me, I could spend days and days watching her smile at me. Her figure disappeared from my sight, leaving me alone in her room while I thought about everything, about how uncomfortable she would be in that man's presence during their date, about how I should stop her from getting married and about how I could make her mine, just mine.
Tumblr media
62 notes · View notes
2amriize · 10 hours
Text
˚⟡˖ RIIZE angry confessions
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
ᡣ𐭩 masterlist genre angst, fluff pairing riize x reader
Tumblr media
ᯓ★ SHOTARO
Shotaro had been in love with you for a while, but he always felt that you only saw him as a good friend. Because of this, he decided not to confess his feelings. You two had known each other for years, and although he only realized his feelings a few months ago, he had always felt a bit strange when he saw you with other guys. Back then, he didn't admit it, but he was jealous. He couldn't understand why, despite laughing with him more than anyone else, you still seemed to prefer other guys. Deep down, he felt like he wasn't enough.
Since he realized he was in love with you, you hadn’t mentioned liking any other guys, so Shotaro hadn't felt jealous in a while—until it happened.
One day, while you were having an afternoon snack at a café with Shotaro, something you did often, you spotted a guy from your class who you thought was really cute entering the café. You couldn’t help but feel nervous.
"Oh my god..." you murmured, trying to look away.
“What’s up?” Shotaro asked, turning to see what had caught your attention.
“It’s that guy from my class… He’s…”
“Oh, do you have a crush on him?” Shotaro glanced at the guy for a few seconds before turning back around and letting out a small sigh. “He’s not good for you.”
“Huh? Why do you say that?”
“He looks like trouble. And I don’t think he’s right for you.”
Shotaro had never said anything like that to you before, and it made you a bit angry. What was he implying?
“Since when do you care about what's good for me, Shotaro?” you asked, giving him a serious look, clearly upset by his words. He looked back at you in silence for a few seconds.
“Since I…” He bit his lip and shook his head. “Nevermind.”
“Since what, Shotaro? Why do you suddenly care about the guys I like? It’s none of your business…”
“Because I’m in love with you, Y/N!” Shotaro cut you off, standing up and looking at you intensely. “That’s why, alright? Are you happy now?” He grabbed his things and stormed out of the café.
ᯓ★ EUNSEOK
It was the way Eunseok looked at you that made everyone else realize how much he liked you. Well, everyone except for you. From the moment he met you, Eunseok knew he had feelings for you, but there wasn’t much he could do about it because at the time, you were dating someone else.
When you broke up with that guy, Eunseok was there for you whenever you needed him, supporting you. But that was all he could do—be by your side—because he felt like you didn’t see him the same way he saw you. Even though everyone always mentioned how Eunseok looked at you, you would always reply with, “I don’t know why everyone keeps saying that, Eunseok looks at everyone like that…”
To be honest, sometimes you had thought about it—whether Eunseok really had feelings for you like everyone said—but it didn’t make sense to you, so you would quickly brush it off. On the other hand, Eunseok was finding it harder and harder to contain his feelings. It never seemed like the right moment to confess, especially since you had been going through an on-again, off-again relationship with the same guy for a while, something Eunseok couldn’t stand.
“You got back with him again?” Eunseok asked with a sigh as you both sat on the grass at a friend’s birthday party. You had stepped outside to get some fresh air.
“Yeah… I feel like it’s what I should do.”
“Why, Y/N? Sometimes you make the dumbest decisions…”
“Excuse me?” You looked at him, surprised by the way he spoke. Eunseok had always supported you, and this was the first time he sounded frustrated. “It’s not dumb…”
“Isn’t it? To keep chasing after someone who doesn’t treat you the way you deserve?”
“What do you mean, Eunseok? He treats me well… we just have a few little fights sometimes. Besides, I go back to him because he’s the only one who cares about me at the end of the day, because…”
“Oh my god, Y/N, how can you be so blind?” Eunseok interrupted, looking at you with clear frustration.
“What…?”
As he stood up to go back inside, he murmured, “I don’t understand how you can’t see that the person who loves you the most is right in front of you…”
ᯓ★ SUNGCHAN
Sungchan had been looking out for you since day one. You had known each other since elementary school, and ever since then, you had always been together. He was always by your side, making sure you were okay and safe. You two spent so much time together that people who didn’t know you well often thought you were dating, something you always denied immediately to avoid awkwardness.
Sungchan never took it personally when you denied it—he tried to brush it off quickly—until it happened in a situation unlike any other before. You had never had a boyfriend, mostly because you hadn’t really been interested in any guys… until now. There was this one guy you’d been noticing lately, someone you found intriguing, but you hadn’t told anyone about it because it made you a little shy.
To your surprise, your friends invited this guy to a lunch gathering that you and Sungchan were also attending. When you saw him approaching with your friends, you couldn’t hide your nervousness, which Sungchan immediately noticed. And, as usual, the guy asked how long you and Sungchan had been together.
“No, him and me? We’re not a couple. Not at all. Never,” you said quickly, letting out a nervous laugh.
Sungchan stared at you in silence. He couldn’t believe what you had just done. Normally, you would simply say, “No, we’re just friends,” but this time, it felt like you had overreacted, and it hurt him. As you continued talking more with the guy, Sungchan started to feel left out (and jealous), so he let out a small laugh and walked away to another spot.
It took you a few minutes to realize Sungchan was no longer there, behind you, where he had always been. Confused, you quietly excused yourself from the group to go find him. After searching for a bit, you finally found him leaning against a tree, sipping his drink. You approached and touched his shoulder, and he looked at you with an expression you had never seen on him before.
“Why did you leave, Sungchan? Did something happen?”
“It seemed like you didn’t need me there anymore,” he said, turning his gaze away from you.
“What do you mean?”
“I didn’t know you hated the idea of people seeing us as a couple… or rather, that he saw us as a couple.”
“Sungchan, you know that’s not it. We’re not dating, you know? I always say the same thing. I don’t get why you’re acting like this now…”
“I’ve been following you around like a lost puppy since the day we met, yet you couldn’t see?” Sungchan turned to face you, locking eyes with you for a few seconds.
“What… what do you mean…?” you murmured, feeling your cheeks heat up.
“It’s… nevermind,” he said, walking away.
ᯓ★ WONBIN
Wonbin was a friend of one of your friends, and although you had met him several times before, you didn’t really start talking until a few months ago. To both of your surprise, you had a lot of common interests, which meant you had been talking more and more lately.
Whenever you hung out with your group of friends, it wasn’t unusual for you and Wonbin to spend the entire time together, which led to people starting to suspect there was something going on between you two. However, everyone knew that you had been interested in another guy for a while, a guy who constantly gave you mixed signals. But you were so blinded by the way he treated you that you couldn’t see he was just playing with your feelings.
This was something Wonbin knew, and it was starting to bother him more and more. At first, he didn’t care much, but the more he got to know you, the more frustrated he became with how this guy was treating you. And that’s when he realized that maybe he didn’t see you just as a friend anymore. The moment he came to that realization, he regretted it, knowing that you only had eyes for someone else, and he felt like you’d never notice him.
One evening, you were hanging out with your friends, and for some reason, you all decided to drink. Wonbin wasn’t very good at drinking, so it didn’t take long for him to get tipsy, his cheeks flushed. When Wonbin got drunk, he became even more affectionate than usual. You had also been drinking, but it didn’t affect you as much.
At one point, Wonbin went outside to get some fresh air because he was feeling a bit dizzy, and you followed him to check if he was okay. While outside, you started talking about the guy you liked, and unlike usual, Wonbin didn’t respond or pay much attention. When you noticed he was staring off into the distance, you looked at him.
“Wonbin? Are you okay?”
He stared at you for a few seconds, and just when it seemed like he was about to say something, he sighed and buried his face in his hands, muttering, “Do you like that guy so much that you can’t see what he’s doing to you?”
“Huh? What are you talking about, Wonbin? He treats me really well…”
“Yeah, that’s what you think…”
“You don’t have the right to talk about him like that when you don’t even know him,” you said, getting annoyed at how Wonbin was speaking badly about him.
After a few seconds of silence, Wonbin looked at you and shook his head.
“…This is why I knew I shouldn’t have gotten close to you.”
“What are you talking about, Wonbin?”
“I just… wish you wouldn’t keep seeing that guy.”
“You don’t have the right to say that.”
“I wish I did.”
ᯓ★ SEUNGHAN
Everyone, even you, knew how much Seunghan liked you. But you always ignored his feelings because you preferred not to face that reality. You had been friends for so many years that you didn't want to risk your friendship over it. Still, you couldn't deny that you treated him differently from everyone else, being much more affectionate and always relying on him when you needed someone. Seunghan was always there for you, no matter what. It didn’t matter if you were on the other side of the city and only needed a pen—he would come and bring it to you. That’s how much you meant to him, and everyone could see it.
That’s why, when he heard from others that you were starting to get to know another guy, he felt his heart break a little. He knew you two weren’t a couple and that he had never confessed his feelings, but it still hurt to find out from someone else, especially when you knew how he felt. The thought of you with another guy was something he couldn't stand.
He tried to distance himself from you for a while after hearing the news, but he just couldn’t. He couldn’t say no when you asked him to pick you up from class to take you home, even though he knew you probably had an important date. Despite knowing this date might be with the other guy, he couldn’t bring himself to refuse, so he picked you up just as you had asked.
The whole ride, he was quiet and serious, something you found odd since Seunghan had never behaved like this around you. He was always so sweet and cheerful when he was with you.
"Seunghan, is something wrong? You seem really serious," you asked when he parked in front of your house after the silent ride.
"No, don't worry," he murmured without looking at you.
"I know something’s bothering you…"
"Don't you have to go get ready for your date?"
The way Seunghan looked at you and the tone he used when mentioning your date made you realize he knew about it, and he seemed quite upset.
"Seunghan, you know I care about you a lot, but it’s just…"
"You know. You know I love you and took full advantage of the fact that I'd do anything for you. And I know that. I just kept at it, hoping that one day you'd value me just as much."
You froze after hearing Seunghan’s words. You couldn’t help but feel bad for making him feel this way, though it was never your intention. Before you could even respond, Seunghan spoke again.
"Just… get out. You’re going to be late."
ᯓ★ SOHEE
There had always been a sort of romantic tension between you and Sohee. Both of you were playful and touchy with each other, but that was all—just tension. Even though you both probably had feelings for each other, neither of you had confessed.
In fact, you were always waiting for him to confess, but that moment never seemed to come. The longer you waited, the more tired you grew of holding onto hope. Yet, despite that, you couldn’t seem to let go of the idea of him.
Knowing all of this, you still couldn’t ignore the guy who approached you at the party. You had come to the university party with Sohee, but he had gone off to talk to his friends. The guy, someone you hadn’t seen before, wasted no time approaching you once he saw Sohee wasn’t by your side.
You two talked for a while, and the guy even brushed your arm occasionally while locking eyes with you. You couldn’t deny feeling a bit nervous around him. He was charming and very attractive. After chatting for a bit, you excused yourself to go to the bathroom, promising you’d be right back.
You didn’t expect to find Sohee waiting for you outside the bathroom. You quickly noticed he’d had a few drinks.
"Sohee, have you been drinking?"
"Who was that guy?"
"Are you talking about the one I was talking to earlier? He’s a new guy at our faculty. He’s pretty nice. I was about to go back and talk to him."
"Don’t go back to him," Sohee muttered, lowering his head.
"Sohee, you can’t decide what I do."
"I know I can’t, but I don’t want you to talk to him again."
"Sohee, you’re just drunk and saying things that don’t make sense," you said, walking past him, heading back to the party.
"Y/n, I love you," you heard Sohee murmur as he grabbed your wrist, only to let it go after a few seconds. You looked at him, stunned, for a moment. "Is that what you wanted to hear? Are you happy now?" he said before walking away into the party, leaving you standing in the hallway, unsure of what to say or do.
ᯓ★ ANTON
You and Anton had been best friends for as long as you could remember. You went to the same school, and your mothers were close friends, so you spent many summers together. Even after graduating, you both ended up attending the same university, so you still saw each other daily.
It felt like you two were inseparable—until you started getting to know another guy. It took you a while to tell Anton about him since you’d never really talked about that kind of stuff before. When you finally did, you thought he took it well at first, but you noticed him starting to act strange, becoming more distant.
Although he said nothing was wrong, he always had excuses to avoid walking home with you, claiming he had plans to study with classmates in a café, something you found odd since he didn’t like studying in public. Even so, you decided to trust him and give him the space he seemed to need.
One day, as you were heading home, you spotted Anton walking in the distance. It had been a while since you’d seen him in person, so you decided to catch up with him. He smiled briefly when he saw you, but then quickly looked away and started walking faster.
"Anton, I feel like you’ve been acting weird these past weeks. Is something wrong?"
"Huh? No, you know… exams, new people… It’s just that. Nothing’s wrong."
"Are you sure? I feel like you’re pulling away from me, and if I’ve done something wrong, I want to know."
"Nothing’s wrong, y/n. You’ve just got other friends now, and I get it," he mumbled coldly. You stood there, thinking for a moment. In high school, you’d made new friends, and yet you and Anton still acted like you always had. Why was this time different?
"I feel like you’ve been off ever since I told you about Ricky…"
"Y/n. I just… don’t want to talk about it."
"Well, I do, Anton. I feel like you’re being selfish, only thinking about how you feel and not about how you’re making me feel," you said, frustrated, stopping in the middle of the street. Anton turned to look at you, serious.
"Well, I’m sorry I fell in love with you, okay? But it happened, and I can’t do shit about it."
"You… what?"
Anton stared at you for a few seconds, pressing his lips together before turning his back on you.
"Forget it, y/n. I’m just tired from all the studying."
Tumblr media
ᡣ𐭩 masterlist taglist: @regularsuh @gacktsa @totheseok @kkumistars @taroddori
77 notes · View notes
hey! i was wondering if you could do a polyplastics fic thing thats more like karen-centric. like karen was having a good day but then she heard some random people talking about how shes dumb and just like objectifying her, so she runs to the bathroom and crys in the stall then the reader walks into the bathroom and hears someone crying so they check and see that its karen, obviously they comfort her, and texts gretchen and regina to come to the bathroom and then when they get there, karen tells them all what happened and gretchen and regina just storm out and the other two are super confused and then like turns out regina and gretchen went to find the dudes that were talking about karen and regina goes all apex predator on them while gretchen very loudly reveals a bunch of their secrets to the whole cafeteria. and then lalalala kiss kiss everyone is happy
Apex Bodyguards
|| poly!plastics x nonbinary!reader
(i myself am poly)
|| Warnings; brief mentions of slut shaming, karen being bullied, swearing, regina being regina
|| Summary; Karen was having a great day, that is until she overhears people talking about her in a not so positive light. She gets upset and runs off to the bathroom, where reader finds her.
Requests open!
Started; September 15th
Finished; September 17th
~~~
Tumblr media
Karen's day was going really well, like. Super well. She spent her whole morning with her girlfriends, she even had a couple classes with Gretchen that morning.
She was getting ready to go to her fourth period class, walking through the hall to get to her locker when she overheard some students talking. She heard them mention her name and smiled at first. Until she heard what they were saying.
"Oh my God, yes. Thank you! Karen Shetty is so fucking stupid oh my God." One girl said, the others around her laughed as another one piped up," we literally don't talk about this enough."
"And I bet Regina only keeps her around for her boobs. Cause like damn, but imagine the back problems that slut has."
"Oh my God, can we talk about the slut thing? Cause like- eleven people? Girl wow, you're like how old?"
"For real!"
Karen felt her lip tremble and put her hand to it as she ran to the closest bathroom.
"Oh shit, think she heard us?" One of the girls asked when they saw how fast Karen left, the other shrugged.
A few minutes pass and you walk into the same bathroom, sighing as you headed to the stall. Already dreading fourth period. None of your friends were in that class and to make it worse it was history. Gross.
As you opened the stall, you heard a sniffle from the one next to it and paused for a moment. Was someone crying? You listened a little closer and heard a few more sobs, so you knocked on the stall.
"Hey? You doing okay in there?" You asked, the sobs had sounded vaguely familiar but you couldn't figure out why that was. Then you heard the voice that followed.
"I... no."
Shit. Karen.
"Baby, open the stall." Your voice was softer as you listened to her shuffle around then open the door. Immediately she was in your arms, crying into your shoulder and you held her tight," hey, hey, hey.. you're okay. What happened?"
You weren't great at comforting, but this was your girlfriend. So you made an effort as the two of you moved to sit on the bathroom floor together.
Karen explained everything through sobs as you sat there, holding her hand and giving her knuckles soft rubs. Something you'd seen Gretchen do a number of times, including to you. So you knew it helped.
"Those bitches." You muttered, giving Karen a quick soothing kiss," look at me, baby. Listen, okay?"
She looked at you, mascara running down her cheeks. You frowned at the sight.
"They don't know what they're talking about. You are plenty smart. Remember a few days ago? You recognized that I was upset when even Gretchen and Regina couldn't see it. You helped me. That was all you, baby. You know exactly what people need and you're there for them. Those bitches? They clearly don't know you well enough to see just how kind, beautiful and intelligent you are." You rambled on, Karen listening to your every word. You weren't lying, Karen was smart. Just... in different ways. So you made sure to highlight that for her to see it.
That got a smile from her and you felt your shoulders relax. Maybe you weren't so bad at this comforting thing.
"I'm gonna text Regina and Gretchen, okay? Can I let them know what happened?" You asked, she gave a small nod and cuddled up against you. Your arm draped around her side while your other took out your phone. Sending a text to the groupchat and letting them know what happened.
Gretchen; oh my god no way?? is karen okay? i'll be right there <3
Regina; im gonna skin a bitch.
You had closed your phone and focused on Karen again and didn't see Regina's response. Though you could only guess what she would say.
It took no more than two minutes for both girls to come storming into the bathroom. Gretchen softened as she saw the two of you on the ground; Regina however only got more pissed off. Her arms folded across her chest, nails digging into her skin.
"Who was it?" She demanded, she looked at you. You shrugged, so she looked at Karen," Well?"
Karen fidgeted with her fingers, taking a glance at Gretchen who gave an encouraging nod," Lyliah Haydens.. Lexis Hexx."
You frowned hearing the names, giving Karen's shoulder a comforting squeeze. You didn't know the girls but Gretchen seemed to.
"I've got this. Regina, come on." You'd never seen Gretchen take charge so fast as she walked right out of the bathroom.
"Don't have to tell me twice." Regina replied, following after at a slight jog so she could walk in front. "Got any dirt on Lyliah and Lexis?"
"Obvi, Gina." Gretchen stopped when they were in the hall and turned to look at Regina with a grin," Lyliah's been sleeping with Lexis' boyfriend behind her back. And remember last week when the girls locker room smelled like piss? Lexis pissed her pants in gym class. Mr Carr wouldn't let her go to the bathroom."
"God, it's hot when you gossip." Regina smirked and walked ahead, pulling Gretchen along," come on."
Meanwhile, you stayed behind with Karen. She'd calmed down by this point so you just sat together, you listened to Karen talk. Just admiring her smile and the way her hands moved and twirled with each sentence.
"Welcome to NorthShore Daily! Where we interrupt you to give the latest rundown of-" The afternoon announcements were interrupted...
"Is this stupid thing on? Gretchen!" Your head whipped around towards the hall when you heard Regina's voice over the loud speaker.
"What's she doing?" You asked aloud.
Karen shrugged and listened with you.
"Yes, Regina." You heard Gretchen reply.
"You can't just-" The usual student announcer was cut off again by Regina.
"I can do what I want, move it loser." Some shuffling was heard before Regina continued," You want some news that's actually interesting, NorthShore? Turns out, Lyliah Haydens is sleeping with Lexis Hexx's boyfriend! And get this.. Lexis Hexx is the reason the girls locker room smelled like piss last week. She wet her pants in gym."
Regina paused for dramatic effect, you could almost hear the smirk in her voice. Only Regina would be able to get away with a stunt like this.
"Let this be a lesson to not shit talk my girlfriends." Regina added on.
"...um, back to regular announcements-" The usual student announcer tried her best to continue on after that.
You heard Regina's heels coming down the hall before her and Gretchen appeared at the bathroom entrance again. Regina had a smirk on her face, looking rather proud of herself.
"Thanks, guys.." Karen murmured.
They nodded and Gretchen sat down with the two of you, but Regina looked disgusted at the thought of sitting on the floor.
You noticed and gave your lap a pat, offering it as a seat instead.
She rolled her eyes, trying to seem reluctant but you could tell she liked it as she sat down with you.
Gretchen gave Karen a soft kiss," feeling better, mama?"
Karen nodded," can we get pizza?"
Regina laughed a little," maybe."
The four of you definitely went on a pizza date that night. It was well deserved.
55 notes · View notes
biancasreign · 6 hours
Text
CATCHING FEELS 2 | JEY USO
Part 1 | Part 3
Tumblr media
“Come on momma. We’re gonna get you and my nephew something to eat.” Sabrina rubbed her best friend’s stomach as they walked out the doctors office.
Kaliyah walked behind her friend slowly feeling sad as ever. Considering she found out she was having a baby boy you’d think she would be happy but she was feeling the exact opposite.
Just three months ago she found out she was two months pregnant with her baby and it felt so unreal. From the moment she found out she was pregnant she was filled with nothing but mixed emotions.
She even contemplated getting an abortion and showed up to the appointment but at the last minute she couldn’t bring herself to do it. The thought of having an abortion was more to burry her feelings about Jey rather than her not wanting a baby.
She wanted to keep her baby and that’s what she decided to do.
“What do you want to eat?”
“I’m not hungry. I just wanna go home.” Kaliyah told her as she put her seatbelt on and turned towards the window.
“I know you’re upset but you can’t starve my nephew. What does he want? A deluxe combo and a lemonade?” She teased.
Rolling her eyes Kaliyah broke into a small smile. The sound of food made her happy no matter what. These days all her son craved was Chick Fil A which was weird to her because she didn’t care for it too much before she got pregnant.
“Whatever, just give my son some food.”
It didn’t take them long to get their food considering how great Chick Fil A’s customer service was. The food didn’t stand a chance and was gone before she even got home.
“Call me tomorrow and stop being so sad!” Sabrina yelled as Kaliyah walked to the door and took her keys out.
“Bye Sabrina!” She stuck up the middle finger.
When she got in the house she stepped out of the clothes she was wearing and hopped in the shower. She was exhausted because all day Sabrina drove her around making her run errands with her in order to get her out the house. While she appreciated her friends effort all she wanted to do was stay in the house until the baby got here.
As she brushed her hair into a ponytail her phone vibrated with a message from a familiar number. Picking up her phone she read over the message before responding.
Maybe( Jey 🫶🏽): What u want?
I need to tell something important. Can I call you?
Maybe( Jey 🫶🏽): Nah, you can text me what you want before I change my mind about unblocking you
I’m pregnant
Maybe( Jey 🫶🏽): ???
????
Maybe( Jey 🫶🏽): So what you tryna say it’s mine?
Please don’t do that. You know it’s yours.
Maybe( Jey 🫶🏽): I don’t know nothing. Ima need a test before you put anything on me.
Nevermind, forget I even brought it up. You can just block me again.
I don’t know why I even wasted my time with you.
My and my baby will be fine.
Maybe( Jey 🫶🏽): Calm down, how I know you’re not fucking with me?
Why would I be wasting my time? You made it clear you don’t fucking like me. I’m putting my feelings and pride aside to reach out to you so my son can have a father in his life but really just forget it.
Maybe( Jey 🫶🏽): Son?
She read over her last message and decided to just leave it alone. She was over going back and for with him. If he didn’t believe her than that’s what it is.
Shaking her head she turned her phone off and prepared herself for some much needed sleep.
22 notes · View notes
ryuichirou · 2 days
Text
Replies
More replies about recent stuff, plus some random twst stuff pluuuus a reply related to a Malleus sketch from our 🔑🔞twt <3 Thank you for your questions.
thestarlightfae asked:
...Do I want to know what Lilia has on his phone?
Somehow I doubt it… But he wouldn’t mind showing!
Anonymous asked:
Ryuichirou just to let you know your literally the reason why I download Tumblr and I'm so so glad I did so🙇🙇
Oh god Anon, I am very sorry for doing this to you LOL Thank you so much!!! <3 I am glad you’re enjoying it!
m1lk-n-cook1es asked:
Dragon Malleus has six limbs and is therefore an insect. Discuss
(idk if he has 4 limbs in the dragon body but oh well)
Does…that mean that a centaur would also be an insect? This is kind of troubling… 😟
I think this is something we could discuss for hours until Malleus appears and ends this discussion forever, looking offended af :(
Anonymous asked:
Ace and malleus won't be together because ace has no Rizz  and no skills. he would fumble malleus so hard he would end up with someone else twice over, who im not sure but definitely someone he has to see a lot
(related to a reply about Ace the donkey to Malleus’ dragon)
OUCH, Anon!! You’re roasting Ace more than Malleus would’ve roasted him while literally breathing fire 😭🔥
Give this boy a chance. That being said, we all know the chance is slim….
Anonymous asked:
about the mosquitoes bites ! If you put a burning hot metal spoon on it for a few seconds the heat will kill the itchiness ! Tested and approved every summers you should definitely do it 👍
My favourite part about posting that mosquito comic is people recommending remedies for the bites…!
Thank you, Anon. I’ll keep that in mind.
Anonymous asked:
Would the twst ppl ever go down of ppl of the opposite sex? Or is everyone just gay? Like Floyd on a female riddle or something
-english is not good with me
“Everyone is gay” is our default because we prefer gay ships, but we don’t really headcanon sexualities for characters. If we ever come up with a good story with Floyd and fem!Riddle, nothing would stop us from indulging in it 💪 There are some that are more difficult for me to see with the opposite sex than the others though.
Anonymous asked:
Do the doms give oral? Like will the dom suck the sub's dick at all or nah?
With you would oral sec be strictly a bottom's job?
It is a tendency in my art to only leave it for the bottoms because it is a personal preference. But I don’t think that all of our tops would be strictly against it on the same level.
I wrote some hcs quite a while ago, if you want a detailed answer about someone in particular! Although I think my bias is pretty obvious lol Sorry.
Anonymous asked:
Okay the post of Malleus laying an egg from a while ago on your locked twt has been driving me so up the walls I haven't even been able to find the words??? I was so gagged when I saw it????
Shota Malleus always feels like he's totally convinced he's mature enough to handle Lilia and anything else you throw at him (he isn't) and him dealing with something like that when he's definitely way too young and unprepared and being completely overwhelmed and scared by it is SO GOOD
I can imagine him calling out Lilia's name in such a broken way, half upset because he just went through something really painful and scary and he wants to be comforted by his caretaker, and half because he's so confused and he has no idea what he should do and he needs Lilia's guidance, when Lilia was the one who put him into that mess in the first place... I worry that Lilia is going to take one look at him and their egg and be like "guess it's scrambled eggs for breakfast!" to cover his own mistake before anyone finds out 😭
(And also...... I just think it's a little hot... Malleus pushing out an egg that's too big for his body all alone in his room with nobody to help him regulate his breathing and pushing?? He just has to figure it all out on his own because he can't/won't call for help??? Squeezing that egg out a little at a time and slowly stretching himself open, before it falls back inside him and he has to start all over again, basically fucking himself on it until he finally gets it out... 🥵)
I am SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT, ANON!! <3 I want to say that it was a very self-indulgent sketch, but then again, everything that we post is lol
Poor Malleus absolutely wasn’t ready for anything like that to happen and he definitely wasn’t told that this was something that could happen to a dragon fae… And Lilia was probably surprised too, looking at him like shoot that wasn’t supposed to happen yet, wtf, “dragon eggs are rare” my ass lol Lilia really fucked up his cycles…
I guess they really are going to have scrambled eggs for breakfast…! God we had so many conversations about Lilia and dragon eggs, I really should finish that one comic from ages ago.
(I’m also glad you find this hot as well~ If definitely would’ve been much easier for him if Lilia was around when that was happening, poor thing probably thought he was dying or something. He often feels alone, but when that happened, he felt especially alone and helpless. It’s honestly a miracle he wasn’t mad at Lilia afterwards, but I guess it’s because he was way too shocked for that)
21 notes · View notes
Text
(some-what of) an analysis on patty possom(?)
inspired by this post on the PE-AZ yes this episode is my fave yes i unironically love patty yes i was a fnaf kid yes i am utterly deranged
some of these r incoherent because its midnight and i wanna post this as fast as possible before i go to bed and wake up at the crack at dawn
yayyy patty ^_^
Tumblr media Tumblr media
one of the first things ive noticed post becoming alive like the next frankeinstine is that her eye wasnt fixed by the mechanics, which as ill discuss later imply a sort of negligence (? i think) to the properly, i however dgaf and like to interperate this as her having a lazy eye <3
she seems to be a genuially nice person!!!! um . i dont know how to continue this paragrapth pretend theres something here thats interesting
imagine being born into the world and already having a dreadful fear of being abandoned. crazy, mustve impacted her very hard
though this probably means it gave her fake memories or she was already sorta vaugely away of whats happening?? like psudo sentient?? if that makes sense, how the hell do you know this girl, you havent BEEN to the devils sacrament
the way she goes about it and the ending shows that she has no clue on how to socialize or their cues at all, or just cuz of the pov its intentionally shown as more creepy (which it probably is, you could hear her go "where r u going :(" in a sad tone), shes a massive werido and i love her for that
point is, shes nice but has no idea how to say "nooo dont leave me haha" normally cuz she just appeared 2 seconds ago with no idea of proper communication, does that make sense..... help
Tumblr media Tumblr media
heres the thing i love about this the most, shes at the end of the ep shes seen dragging background character #47 in the same tone of voice and hes seen uncomfortable. PAN TO THE NEXT SLIDE IN WHICH THEY SEEM OK IN THEIR PRESENCE
LIKE . THE GUY JUST ACCEPTS HER HAND TO HOLD WHEN SHES SHOCKED..... THEY R BESTIES AND IM TIRED OF PPL OVERLOOKING IT, and the fact that i dont think we get to see him again (cuz they couldnt fit him anywhere in the background? i think) makes it better for me, balding old guy notices furry twice his size scared of being left alone so he decides to stay here just for her.... MANNN
the general area
lets see, were right off the bat were introduced to a good few places, the fun tunnels, the game zone, a claw machine thats rigged, the place with the signature snack which i wont go over because thats kinda of its own gag but its sticky and probably unhealthy, and the main stage
Tumblr media Tumblr media
i assume the fun tunnels are made with a holograpthic effect inuniverse, and i think theres some LED lights in there to make it glow, i was going to say its polyethylene plastic but i dont think that exists google stock photos lied to me, also not related but it looks like a horrible spray paint job was done on this thing lol
Tumblr media Tumblr media
also acording to the lyrics theres supposed to be 3 more members, a raccoon, cat and turtle . i dont think we see craggle in photo though rip (if theyre not a sphyinx ill be dissapointed), tyrone seems to have a 60's? aesthetic going on, rascal has a punk aesthetic going on and patty has a more modern aesthetic ? i think, the spiked collar is throwing me off
from winns dialouge in the start implying that they havent been here in a good while ("when i was little" ur in 5th grade) and the fact that their instruments are still there, then this was probably a recent desicion, or atleast long enough for a 10 y/o that hasnt been here in awhile to be upset by this and for patty to be immediatly spawned in with abandonment issues
along with a rigged claw machine and the snack i think it implies that the people over there who own this establishment are probably really cheap, and the fact that the PRAMBY snack is really sticky is definatly going to cause some health issues down the line, something something fazbear entertainment
Tumblr media Tumblr media
oh and also, theres like a split second frame where this shows up, obviously its just there as a morbid joke but atleast it shows us this establishment is atleast old enough to have someones decaying body be bone by now, which after writing that makes me sound stupid because skeletonization might not take as long as i thought it would ("3 weeks to several years" depending on the surroundings)
whoever was there seemed to have been stuck for 25 days at least and has gone undetected, which means this place is linked to one unsolved missing persons case and they dont have a clue (most likely), also theres ballpit balls inside this thing i fucking guess?? theres no actual ballpit in the place idk what this kid was doing
i have tried to make up a map of how the place looks but im always bad with rooms ? and i had to take a fewwww small creative liberties with this cuz i couldnt figure out where theyd be but close enough👍👍
Tumblr media
15 notes · View notes
canisalbus · 10 months
Note
I'm sure you get this a lot but because my cousin and I love that one Danny Trejo action comedy, I always have to snap my brain into the right position when I read Machete's name. Maybe I should draw them both chilling
.
143 notes · View notes
jichanxo · 3 months
Text
how it started:
Tumblr media
how it's going:
Tumblr media
#jitxt#my stuff#proud owner of This Specific Photo of Kimura Takuya#not to conflate the two bc my enjoyment of yagami and kimutaku are connected but separate#but obviously it would be bs to pretend i would've been interested in smap without playing judgment#truthfully i was eyeing a magazine too but i don't like investing money/shelf space into an interest unless i'm certain it's here to stay#unfortunately kimura takuya is still only a recent interest so. something small like this is fine#though i might have to get a bromide holder to keep him safe... i know there's an aus run business that sells idol goods like that...#anyway uhhhh first picture context for those who might've missed my lore earlier:#is that post-JE pre-LJ. i didn't really care for yagami. lmao.#i saw yagami fans and it seemed like they were having fun but i genuinely didn't understand their affection for him#and so getting through LJ and starting to like yagami i was like WHAT IS GOING ON WITH ME#thinking “lol look at his lame flat ass (affectionate)” and then going “WHAT. WHAT WAS THAT.”#<- girl who realised that she sounded exactly like the yagami fans online#and so i wrestled with it for a while#and bc i was talking in my friend's discord server about my experience with LJ i have this golden screenshot#of the day i finally gave in. pretty sure i'd been looking at pictures of yagami and kimutaku for like an hour beforehand lol#AND MY MESSAGES AFTERWARDS WERE STILL DRIPPING WITH COPE ABOUT IT#said something along the lines of. that i thought they tried way too hard to make yagami seem cool#and then followed it by saying i felt genuinely upset thinking about how i could never be on a date with him#THE DENIAL IS CRAZY... JUST SAY YOU LIKE HIM#anyway i've long accepted my fate but it's still funny to think about#jichan is asked to leave the fandom for needing to play 2 games to start liking yagami#meanwhile my sister's opinion on him hasn't changed at all. “he's alright” <- real quote about yagami from days ago#anyhow that's one of the main reasons i'm playing JE. so i can reevaluate that game with fresh eyes/new perspective#excuse my impromptu storytime. but i guess this whole post is about landmark moments in Jichan Liking Yagami so it's not entirely unfitting#i like yagami takayuki 👍 and now i like kimura takuya too 👍#gave this photo a goodnight kiss last night btw
11 notes · View notes
crystalkitty1220 · 3 months
Text
Man I wonder where the leader of the fear realm could've gone, it's alMOST LIKE NEVIN HAS AN
Tumblr media
#had to re-edit the image real quick because the original edit was from a post I made about Drew years ago#and while the Drew thing is becoming less and less likely. Nevin havinv one has basically been canon since#someone mentioned Greg's (was it Britney's) aura being familiar in s2ch1. ive been putting together a list of every line#that points to Nevin's aura throughout the whole thing (most from s2ch1 but then s2ch10 came out and it was really canon at that point)#but clearly i'm running out of time to say ''i fucking called it'' before it's explicitly stated and i dont want to be in another situation#where somebody else will beat me to a theory and me posting anything about it will seem like copying them. sorry about that btw i had#thought i had already mentioned theorizing that nevin was possessed by a demon in that old theory i made but i had forgotten that one was#super old and was about sigma. so no copying there i just got extremely paranoid there was a mention of a cult and i was like ''nuh uh#that's way too specific and out there of a detail to end up in both our theories'' and i forgot the rest of my super old post was outdated#as hell. and echos had gone ''yeah they're so similar!'' and i took their word for it but now i'm realizing they were probably just trying#to be supportive. so yeah no copying there i was just beaten to the punch of saying something. but i will NOT back down from the aura shit#because i have been calling that shit FROM THE START or at least since i started reading ibvs back when ch20 came out.#also not backing down from saying chris was the worse friend because these past few chapters are the first time isaac has done anything tha#could knowingly upset chris meanwhile chris has. let edward drag isaac to the lair after isaac said edward would beat him up. chose not to#believe edward was holding the secrets over their heads because 'it was something isaac had said' and then immediately distrusted edward in#the next chapter because a random person he didn't know said to steal a book (might i mention how that entire scene proves chris' lack of#development and refusal to take responsibility because it perfectly alludes to when chris had brought those fireworks into his old school#and makes me wonder if charlie has actually gotten him in trouble with his past schools or if he's still just not taking responsibility#and if him following nevin to the woods to test out their powers is an extension of ''if something bad happens its not my fault''#like seriously this man would bring a mysterious suitcase onto a plane if he's told to). uh what was i talking about agai#anyway on a related note my mental state has only gotten worse since i left tumblr and the habit of thinking about chris instead of sleepin#or doing schoolwork has not stopped. so i was still failing for a while and might graduate now but am still staying away from tumblr.#so yeah this was a little update and im not going to linger this time im just going to leave tumblr again right after hitting post#addendum because i just can't let things go. and was thinking about chris again. i don't think his lack of development is because of bad#writing (anymore. i used to.). instead i'm certain his character arc is going to continue into him following someone (nevin probably) into#doing something really bad. and then he'll finally get actual consequences and go 'oh shit i fucked up real bad this time'#if you think that theory is reaching too far into the future you should hear mine about isaac dying at the end lmao
10 notes · View notes
s-ccaam-era-crepe · 1 month
Text
sorta ? happy rant but still a rant below.
I’m so happy it happened and I don’t feel good about how much happier I feel but I feel so much happier ! and healthy ngl and it’s taking time and there are good parts and bad parts but overall I’m so glad we’re over because it was so unhealthy I couldn’t see it and I feel better now. And I know not all of it is good for me and I need to find more people to connect with and be friends with irl but cutting off the bad ones helps that so much I think. I’ve noticed I go weeks without thinking about them sometimes and it’s so good ? I feel good healing. Is that bad to say?
5 notes · View notes
bootyful-seventeen · 11 months
Text
i am too mentally exhausted to even deal with this shit anymore with my mom and grandma and low key wish i'd go comatose for a few years to be left alone tbh
#had a clean up service come by to see the damage and give a quote on the estimate and my grandma wasnt having it#she got upset and started crying to them about she has only 1 daughter and is trying to help her and they're trying to tell her that keepin#all that junk isn't gonna be helping anyone especially my mom but she wasn't getting it and i said i'm not helping clean the junk that's#all around the house cuz i'm tired of it all and having to manage my emotions since i am for sure emtotionally stunted from my childhood#and have to deal with a schitzophrenic mom and an absent sister who's balls deep in denial while i'm struggling to find a job here#and my grandma always stressing me ot saying she's gonna kick me out isn't fucking helping here at all like she thinks it does#so when they left she spent all day sobbing on the phone how i'm a terrible granddaughter who wants to throw out good stuff#when i'm not gonna keep helping sell shit for my mom cuz my sister can do it as her family contribution since she did nothing since dad die#and the thing is i gave them all options on clearing shit out cuz i know this family by now and shit doesn't get tossed but it migrates#cuz i said months ago i can ask some friends if they could come down and help sort and declutter#grandma said no to that and said she'll kick me out if i do it and she didn't want to pay for my mom's shit to get moved into a storage uni#she leaves the clean up to my mom and i think the backyard got worse but she didn't call anyone to throw out the junk like she threatened t#so i call a fucking hoarders clean up service cuz that's what my family is on my mom's side at this point and the city will be called too#and she has this reaction cries all day and calls everyone to say i'm horrible and yells at me saying i'm the one killing her with stress#when she's already been doing that for months to herself when i'm just tired and possibly mildly depressed or something idk#i barely leave my room and don't go outside except to walk my dog but idk cuz my family's attittude was we don't go to doctors cuz#cuz they're for crazy people but of course it's gotta switch up for my mom and no one else and i'm just sick of it all#grandma doesn't accept free help and she won't accept help that i pay for myself with my money set aside for school so i'm done#unlike her when i say i'll do something i stick to it so i'm not doing shit anymore unless i can call a friend to help with this mess#it's gonna sound like such a horrible thing but i can't wait for my family to die so i can live in a clean home again and get help#like deep serious help cleaning and big time grief councelling cuz i barely had time to process my dad's death and being the one to find hi#and that was just this february like god i am going to need so much fucking therapy in my future it's almost rediculous#and probably say screw my mom's side and visit my dad's side a lot more since they seem to be the normal ones in this shit family tree#at least they're not stupid and leave junk everywhere where one neighbour getting sick of not being able to sit outside and enjoy their yar#without mountains of junk staring them right in the face and landing a notice from the city to clean up especially since#we have chainlink fences and at least 7 neighbours can see the backyard and everyone can see the front porch when passing by#i'm just tired of living in these suffocating households and even wanna file a report myself to kick them into gear#its horrible living like this and no one should live surrounded by junk and things they never use or even garbage
11 notes · View notes
early-october-skies · 5 months
Text
Tumblr media
Me when we don't speak anymore by bears in trees
#lizzierants#had a sudden unplanned job interview today. i wanted to cry the whole time but managed to keep it together and now the anxiety has suddenly#caught up to me and it feels BAD the sudden thought of that what if my friends just dont actually like me and they like me purely because#theyre worried for what would become of me if they stopped being friends with me when purely of course id be fine eventually but i worry#that cause im on antidepressants people just think im automatically suicidal when something bad goes wrong which is not the case im doing#good i dont want to die but what if all my friends hate me what if this whole time i have loved them so so much and they just tolerate me#someday my friends will die and i had that i hate that someday we wont be friends even if its decades in the future i love all of them with#my heart that sometimes i feel it is overfilling i love them i love them and what am i without them i am everything i have ever loved i am#overthinking however i cannot stop this what if my own best friend is avoiding me? why am i thinking this? what evidence do i have to back#this up? nothing only for the fact my own brain feels as though i love people too much and they are uncomfortable with it i feel awful wtf#i have learned to keep my emotions from people because i dont want them to worry. i dont want people to do something or not do something bec#ause they think it will upset me i want people do do as they please i want to be open for my friends to share their issues i want to help#and im sitting here wirrying if they hate me so i turn here to shout in the void because the only person i know irl who follows me on here#most likely doesnt read these tags and if you are please ingore this i misjudged your terrible attention span also i love you very much#anyway a few weeks ago i realised my worst fear is no longer death. but the death of my friendship with my beloved friend. and thats fucking#terrifying prospect however if they were to be like yo i dont like you anymore id respect that decision and id be okay because their happine#is the most important thing to me and thats okay but i couldnt bare with the fact that they feel like they had to be ffiends with me because#they have to. i hate the prospect of them feeling trapped in a friendship theh dont want to be in. all the while i feel i cannot communicate#this to anyone because how would i go about it im very anxious i am shaking i am having a bad time very bad time actually im going to start#crying but its okay <3 crying is good for stress and health and its been a while since ive cried so maybe this will help me feel better <3#i will heal and ill be okay <3
4 notes · View notes
ebongawk · 3 months
Text
.
#personal#ebongawk personal#rant#literally just need to write this down or I’m gonna explode#but my brother got like actually upset with me earlier tonight over something that happened when I was 19#so 11 years ago#bc he gave me his ‘85 beater of a car#(my name was on the title!)#and a lady hit me and it got totaled out#so I gave him half the money thinking well that’s fair bc it’s my car but he did give it to me#and he’s just been harboring all of this anger about it all these years#because I guess that was in fact *his* car#it’s so fucking stupid#and he kept talking about his *generosity*#I couldn’t pinpoint exactly why that bothered me so much until I was driving home#and I realized that#no matter what I said or how I tried to defend myself#he kept implying that my generosity was less significant than his because it wasn’t monetary#despite the fact that I clean his fucking house#and have put so much goddamn money into making it feel like a home#never mind the state of this place when I moved in before I painted and deep cleaned#oh and don’t even fucking mention the *months* of my time I have spent watching his dog *for free* while he was globetrotting#but no#a car that totaled out 11 years ago because of an accident that *wasn’t my fault* makes him the epitome of generosity#gods I’m so mad#I spent my entire goddamn afternoon cleaning my sister’s disaster of an apartment so she hopefully gets some of her deposit back#and then I get reprimanded for something that happened when I was fucking 19#Jesus I’m so tired#this is all such petty bullshit too like we are over 30#fuck
4 notes · View notes
makedamnsvre · 8 months
Text
still it was sooooooo funny and uncomfortable at the psych appointment because she saw ? somewhere in papers/files that my mom and dad divorced in.... 2015 i think and shes all like "so.... usually divorce causes problems in children... how was that for you was it hard on you...?" acting all nervous/gentle like lmaooooo thats not even the worst part i dont think i cared about the divorce In Comparison to Everything Else. hed been abusive to my mom and generally neglectful not great to us (me and sibling) and theyd been separated for 6 years before the divorce because he kept going to jail for drug related things which he would often steal money from us for it and generally made my moms life hell by like manipulating and emotionally abusing her and hed have violent tantrums where he broke things (there are still holes in the walls and other damage in the house from him) and also sorta ruined our lives a bit and then in 2019 he was accused of some crime and he ran away to escape getting arrested or whatever and i think legally he is classified as a missing person and we dont even know if hes alive or not.
so like the divorce was whatever to me i guess.
#i think abt this sometimes and its just weird to me#like not the psych appointment that was just like 4 days ago. like the dad situation#its uncomfortable to think he might be dead and its also uncomfortable to think about what the hell hes doing if hes Out There#before id actually searched him up on the internet a few times within the past few years wondering if something was found out and i wasnt#told or something. seeing if maybe there was a police report or something or even an obituary or something. but there wasnt#this got more serious than i meant it to be :/ but he was diagnoses with bipolar so the psych think i have that. not sure abt that#but like i kinda want to talk about this or like tell people i know about it mostly bc i just feel like idk i feel like this is something.#like. i think it says things about me i feel like maybe this information would give people a more complete view of me in a way#i guess lawl but also i know its uncomfortable probably and im scared of that. the widespread hate of 'trauma dumping' makes me#feel like i cant tell people things that might be uncomfortable#oh and i guess something else about this is while obviously this has psychological effects but the effects feel more. not mild#but. interwoven. they dont seem as apparent or like they dont stand out as much. like i get more upset about the topic of outdoor cats#than i get upset about this. like for me this was just something that happened i guess. mostly bc i know that basically everyone#has some kind of issues with their parents. or at least most people i know lawl. me befriending people like#OMG youre also fatherless !? so twinning right now#or like other things like crappy parents or divorce or this or that.#but i think thats most people but also maybe i just have a skewed perception lol
2 notes · View notes
lilgynt · 1 year
Text
still sobbing my eyes so never having a weed free night again
#personal#my door got caught on my laundry basket and crutches and i crashed against the walker i got my dad#and i want to yell at my brother how awful he is - which? either of them but mainly the broken door one#but i’ve done that and it doesn’t change anything let alone how i feel#and i wish my mom understood but she just hates me#and she can say she doesn’t and she buys me gifts but then hangs it over my head bc we’re broke#but it’s like i’m in the wrong for my brother violently breaking my door and then is upset i’m upset he still hasn’t fixed it#and this only came up bc she bought me a door accessory. BUT WOULDNT LET ME BUY A DOOR WHEN IT Orginally broke#like life is fine and all till i’m sober and remember my family is actually doesn’t like me and is super mean to me#and i feel like i’m so burnt out from everything i can’t even think about moving out#even tho i said fuck it that one time a few months ago#and i can’t move in with either of my brothers bc they’ve deeply hurt me and i can’t trust them like that#like do i think i would be safe with them and they would house me yes without question#do i think i would sooner kill myself over the pride issue of them constantly treating me like shit i can’t imagine living with#or being thankful to them while still feeling like#i don’t even know what i feel other than not liked or respected by my family#i know it’s lack of weed period and then just also generally living a bad life and having bad family relations but oh my god#gun to the back of my head rn please. please.#but in all seriousness first night i’ve been like huh. i could definitely buy a gun. really bad since the whole dad situation#like other night i punched a mirror when i got charged from my dentist from something two years ago with no warning. no notice#like 200 bucks. so. i already dealt with that it’s some insurance shit im seeing if i can do payments or whatever but never fucking working#with them again. didn’t even answer my question on why i wasn’t given any notices when i had them send me the bill and insurance claims
2 notes · View notes