#I was literally emailing out sick
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I just essentially sent my first “reply all” email by mistake and I want to curl up and die
#my stuff#I was literally emailing out sick#but I’m used to sending out full-staff emails at work#sent it to the FULL STAFF FOR EACH BUILDING instead of the sub list (the emails are similar and I am dumb)#now everyone keeps emailing me back I’m gonna die
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today got me like
#went to lab- then doctors appointment#i'm sposed to get 14 injections- but only got half cuz they LITERALLY ran out of steroids#and i had to ride with my annoying self obsessed brother ooo i hate him- and we went for sandwiches and i hate that place and it made me-#sick- and then i come back- walk 20 minutes BACK to lab to make up a recitation- the girl goes 'oh just do it at home and email me' RAAAAAHH#so now i'm home- i cancelled my club meeting so i don't go insane
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cannot believe i've been put on god's green earth to experience horrors
#emails i'm talking about emails#and clients in general#i've had an automatic message going all of last week because i had covid and it was Real Bad#(long story short - bossman's man flu was not man flu after all and i found out while hacking my lung out the weekend before)#like my ooo literally says i am on sick leave and not monitoring my emails and all the emails that i'm going through are:#hi sarah i know you're not well but can you make an exception for me for [thing that is not urgent]#OR even more infuriatingly :#hi sarah i sent you X emails but you have not replied can you reply to me asap#like...................???????#lord i can't be doing this for the next 30 years of my life and i think i've passed the mark where i can be a sugar baby WHAT ARE MY OPTION#sarah talks about herself#work stories
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#i'm done i'm so fucking tired#i want to burn the internet to the ground#i want to destroy my computer chuck my phone into a river and go live in the middle of nowhere#no wifi no 4g no nothing#i want to die because we cannot fucking escape this shit#meta using my art to train ai and refusing my request to stop#my computer not being able to run glaze or nightshade or any of those ai poisoning thingies#spam emails and text messages and whatsapp messages and bots in the comments#and just EVERYTHING TRYING TO SELL ME THINGS WHILE ALSO STEALING WHAT'S ALREADY MINE#i hate it i hate it i can't fucking stand it anymore#and you'll be like ''then why don't you go offline then... nobody's making you have an instagram account''#and you'd be right... if it weren't for the fact that i chose the one fucking career that DEMANDS online presence#i already struggle to find work as an illustrator WITH social media and POSTING MY ART ONLINE#how the fuck would I do it if people don't see my art?!#and sure people have illustrated books way before the internet existed... sure... BUT IT DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT ANYMORE#i'm so fucking angry and tired and frustrated that there's no way out of this#the internet is becoming unusable yet life demands it#my only option right now it to fuck myself and my beliefs and let companies steal my hardwork for the benefit of..?#having no notes in my posts except for the bots commenting ''see 👀my hole 🍑 daddy 💦 kitten 😻 ready 4 u 🤤 subscribe🔥 pay 💲 me''#i'm sick of this#i don't want to delete everything i ever posted online because A. at this point that's useless and B. again. how the fuck would i get work?#also even then... emailing my clients their finished illustrations goes through google drive or gmail...#do we think google is nice and doesn't steal images to train generative AI?#''talk to your representatives they need to make laws about this'' my fucking president is currently chumming it up with elon fucking musk#while people here are starving to death#we're literally going to freeze this winter because the genius goverment has fucked up our gas supply and that's used not only for heating#but for ELECTRICITY PRODUCTION#so we won't have a wat to heat our houses cook or even fucking SEE AT NIGHT#and you want me to ask them to make copyright laws?!#i want to die
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there’s been many times in the last few years when army was so divided i thought we’d never recover but none of those times hold a candle to what’s going on right now. genuinely there’s no coming back from the way these anti-boycott, anti-DOING-FUCKING-ANYTHING armys have been acting
#they dont lift a finger to help but accuse pro-boycott armys of being ‘useless’ even tho bds korea literally endorses the hybe boycott#there are so many ways to support the cause by sending emails trending hashtags sharing fundraisers sharing any information at all#if it was just not wanting to boycott bts’s music i completely understand that it’s your choice and its very low on the priority list anyway#but these ppl are harassing palestinian and pro-palestinian armys. reporting their accounts. reporting their online stores. doxxing them.#starting massive hate trains against them. accusing them of being antis trying to ‘infiltrate’ ‘real’ army spaces.#when they are just palestinian/pro-palestinian armys trying to find a safe space for themselves and being continually pushed out#and it makes me fucking sick to my stomach to see what this fandom has become#how is any of this real. how do these people claim to love bts when they’re so passionately against everything bts have ever stood for#twt is the only place to get real info and updates on the boycott but im so quickly reminded of why i left twt in the first place#aeron.txt
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Man this day keeps getting worse and worse huh
#isabel.vent#my phone seems to have broken again!!!#i really hope leaving it be overnight will fix it but ohhhh my god i want to call out of work but i can't call out of work!!!#because i can't even call my boss now!!! and if i do that then i'll look even worse!!! oh my god!!! it's not like i'm sick!!!#stupid thing to call out for but i just. oh my god. i am so miserable right now for no good reason#and i have to be at work in eight hours#like literally the only things wrong are: looming deadline for a thing that i won't get anyway#not put on long haul (the usual)#acro sucked tonight#phone malfunction#that's all stupid!!!#i was going to sleep before midnight but nooooo now i'm sobbing at 12:30 am for like the fourth time since i woke up yesterday#this is clearly the post of a sane and hinged person#i'm just. so tired.#like tomorrow when i go into work i'm gonna have to say#okay what do i need to do so that you don't f*** up this simple matter of i need to be emailed for a bit#since they have. never not f***ed that up
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had to take a sick day in my first week of my new job 😬
#im not even set up on the app for that i just emailed hr and my supervisor hopefully thats okay#they hate when people call out i think#but the reality of childcare is getting sick#i went the past two days bc ik my coworkers and everyone expects me to#most of them are sick as well#but i was throwing up all night i feel like crap#but my supervisor said the first day that she had also been throwing up all night#i probably have what she has tbh#but i said in my email that im throwing up as if its still occurring bc i think it might and thats the only good reason to not come in tbh#anyway 🤪#all the kids are always sick and too young to cover thier mouths when theh cough#i spend literally all day wiping thier boses and taking toys out of their mouths so this was bound to happen#i was just hoping it would be just a cold#ughhh#i feel so yucky#this has been a shitpost
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If I was prime minister I’d make it illegal to have a work event without a very specific dress code. Your email invite MUST have a little Pinterest board with the exact sort of outfits people should show up in
#‘dress to impress’ in the email girl WHAT DOES THAT MEAN#literally gonna just being like 5 outfits on Wednesday and try and suss the vibe out from everyone else#and I’m debating if I should just wear makeup all day and hope it doesn’t completely peel off#cause going into the office bare faced once is something I still feel sick over to this day
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Going through a partners old long abandoned rp blog makes you feel like you're looking at pictures of your Ex.
#i miss her every day.#which is dumb i literally talk to her every day but she doesn't rp much anymore#maybe I'll drag her back to tumblr. she's amazing guys.#she's sick rn tho so when she can. you know. think lmao#but damn yeah my muses (sans butcher) have been around for over ten years#out of consultations ;; ooc#honestly tho it's a question of whether she still checks the email for the one blog because if so she's already on to me
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dude. my grandparents make me suicidal
#years and years of convincing my mother that trans people deserve to live their lives fully and happily#and my grandparents are over here sending her “detrans” pragurU videos. what if i actually fucking killed myself#im sitting here trying to set up her new phone and now i feel sick to my stomach and on the verge of throwing up after seeing that email#i wouldnt care about what they think of me if it weren't for the fact that they go out of their way to brainwash my mother into#hating my very existence#i dont give a shit what my grandparents think of me. but i shouldnt have to fight to convince my mother i deserve to be happy.#they want to be close to me so bad but theyre literally the most infuriating people on the planet and actively make my life worse.#vent
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#i feel SO gross and weird and anxious about my stupid job#the person i reached out to that i thought would help me or at least back me up completely blew me off#so there goes that relationship/mentorship that i thought i could depend on#and now i have to go reach out to somebody else who patronizes me every single time he talks to me#all to see if i literally even have a fucking job#teacher work days start in less than two weeks and i don't have a fucking contract!!!!!!#it's been a complete shit show all summer trying to get ANY information much less any commitment on their part#and i'm sick of it and i feel like i'm gaslighting myself into thinking i'm the problem#like ''oh you just haven't given them enough time'' or whatever#the truth is they should have had this shit nailed down in february. at the very least by the time last school year ended#it's fucking JULY!!!! school starts in THREE WEEKS!!!!!!!#so yeah i hate confrontation and i hate being assertive and i hate being made to be assertive in confrontation#but i have to be because i'm not going to let them treat me like shit because it did good work for them and i deserve some basic respect#ANYWAYS. rant over. going to write this email and uhhhh throw up probably idk#maddie.txt
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the oc brianrot is . its rabies. ok . im sick. im so so ill.
#ive made him an email address. does anyone wanna take me out back the farm pet my head one last time#give me the tastiest treat.#and in the back of the head. shoot me.#this is about samael. my boyfailure. my actual son. im literally eating him .#me soup#im swirling his golden hair in a fork ripping it from his scalp and slurping on that shit#i fucking love pasta and white boys#its spaghetti night guys.#IM SO ILL#IM SO SICK. IM SOOO SICK.
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#remind me to never ask my mother for opinions on absolutely anything ever again#i only wanted to see which illustration should go on my portfolio for kidlit art#and her wonderful opinion was to take out an illustration of two dudes EATING TOGETHER because and i quote#"gay relationships are not suitable for children books. it simply isn't their target audience''#does she need the list of the thousand of books that are literally about gay couples or about gay kids?!#they're not even like overtly gay they are literally eating together!!! (sure it is actually gay cause it's fanart of a bl but whatever lol#it's literally two guys sitting at the same table eating...#how is that not appropriate for children?!#also even if they were gettin married or whatever... how's that inappropiate?!#ALSO also i'm sick of reading in every illustration agency how they're looking for artists and writers and whatever who tackle queer storie#like sure i'm not gonna say gay people don't experience discrimination but it's not the fucking 50s... there are opportunities out there#idk i'm just so fuckin upset right now because she's saying I'M the one that's taking it bad#like the whole ''i'm not homophobic but.... blah blah''#and it drives me up the fucking walls to have to deal with this when the only thing i wanted was to have a char about which drawing looks#the best for a professional portfolio lol#anyways now out of fucking spite i'm gonna send all the gay ones i have lol#dkfjhkdfg#angel talks#personal#wish me luck on this email btw i need work!#dfkjghdfg
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#personal#out sick today and got an email from the boss#saying hey you up for 10 days in London?#like YES#Yes please pay my way and pay for me to literally spend the day sightseeing and going to museums 🙏#now to see what shows will be on while I'm there so i can pop out one night
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i think i need to go back to br*ghton and get my phd there im going to be SICK
#when i was there in 2020 a new centre had just opened at my host uni and i follow them on ig and i just saw the codirector do an intro post#AND WHY ARE WE LITERALY THE SAME PERSON AND WHY AM I LOOKING UP THE PHD PROGRAM SHE RUNS IN… WHATS IT CALLED…#ART AND CREATIVE PRACTICE????? I. AM. GOING. TO. BE. SICK. the way my heart is pounding and my stomach is flip flopping rn. omw to write her#an email and see if we can talk I DONT EVEN WANT A PHD BUT I DONT BUT I DO BUT I DONT WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME#purrs#and they have conferences in FUCKING BRGIGHTON ABT WRTMAKING AND COMMUNITY BUILDING AKA THE EXACT THING IWANT TO DO. just say the word i#Will SWAN DIVE across the fucking pond right NEOW. good god help me. naur bc why are the opportunities for that kind of thing here so few an#and far between BUT I WAS THERE AND THIS WAS ALL HAPPENING AROUND ME AND I DIDNT EBEN KNOW IT FUCKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!#naur the way i am meant to be there and jsut stifling my true self probably just so i won’t r[redacted out of embarrassment]. LIKE HELP#<- ok well im not meant to be there im just um. 🤡. but i am thinking about it. i am Really thinking about it#also omg no bc what if i email this lady and she asks to see my research and i literally gave up halfway bc i was having a mental breakdown😭
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Think I’m about to quit my job.
#so uh. basically i had a breakdown last night to the point of not sleeping at all (literally not even a minute of sleep)#because i was thinking about how i have to call 26 people; OR tell my manager i’m not going to call 26 people and have someone else do it#so i called in sick because i was like ‘i will pass out and die if i try to go into work’#so Then i had to email my manager saying ‘i’m not going to call 26 people and here’s why’ and she responded with this snarky little#‘i want to discuss this with you and remind you of your duties and responsibilities as a teacher’#and i’m thinking ‘ma’am i understand my duties and responsibilities as a teacher and that’s why i’m not going to call 26 people#when i should be planning lessons’#but what i responded with was ‘that’s completely understandable. i’m available if you want to ring me’#she still hasn’t. but i’ve decided to quit my job#the thing is i’m literally on day four. i’m not out of induction week. and i’ve already had a breakdown and my manager is already being rude#to me. this is not an environment i want to stay in#and on top of that; i don’t think i should ever have accepted this job in the first place. the expectations that are being placed on me#are completely insane and i am simply not the correct person for the job#so i’ve applied to four random retail jobs lol#all of them are within like a 10 minute drive; all are at least a little above minimum wage and all look doable#i should’ve done this all along to be honest. i really just wanted a job that wouldn’t completely wipe me out mentally emotionally#and physically; and i accepted the first job that was offered to me which i should not have done#i’m going to find something that requires less of my time and attention if possible and i’m going to figure out a phd idea on my days off#since the only reason i’m not doing a phd is that i don’t have a research question#so yeah. that’s that#RIP to my shortest term of employment so far lol. you won’t be missed#personal
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