#I was so obsessed w this show like a year ago to such a degree im glad someone else is obsessing over it now that im not lmao

[tastesousweet]

⭒ the girl with the tattoo (vii) - pt 1 pt 2 p3 p4 p5 p6

matt sturniolo x fem!oc / reader

summary : a little weed sure eases theses two up.

warnings : implications of sex & use of weed

mickey speaks : sorry this took a while to get out friends, hope u love it. also lowkey self inserting w the hawaii trip :P

THIS IS PART SEVEN GO READ THE OTHERS FIRST!!!

“OH, he’s obsessed!” andrea exclaims across the table, a wide smile smothered over her face.

it didn’t take long for asha to call you and begin debriefing her month-long europe trip to you, only for you to cut her short (because matt began knocking on the door, complaining about how long you’d taken to piss) and ask her to finish her tell-all over lunch. she of course agreed and texted you the location of her favorite ramen place along with: “tell your roomie andrea that she can come with i wanna see u bothhhh!”

she’s spent the last half hour detailing the total princess treatment she’d experienced from a guy she met at her stop in london. “yeah, too bad i won’t see him again,” she pouts.

“you didn’t get his phone number that entire time?” you ask, fiddling with the chopsticks in your hand.

“oh of course i did, i just won’t be using it,” asha laughs and tucks a piece of her dark curled hair behind her ear. “it was nice while it lasted but i’m definitely not trying to deal with the hassle that comes with dating anyone right now,” she shrugs.

“you’re so bad!” andrea shakes her head and giggles, "but you know what, i get it."

asha hides her laugh by guiding noodles towards her mouth.

your phone buzzes softly against the counter and lights up, showing off a new text message from your mom, but more importantly your lock screen wallpaper displaying a sleepy figaro on your chest.

asha squeals through her chews as you pick up your phone to decide whether you’ll confront or procrastinate the text message (that will most likely sour your mood). andrea’s eyes widen at the girl as asha finishes up and starts to explain, “who’s cat is that?!” her acrylic nail taps against the table.

“oh, it’s ours,” you peer over your phone, deciding you’d rather not answer your mom’s text (she's asking how degree-related job searching has been, again).

“what?!”

“oh yes, he's my babyyy,” andrea coos while unlocking her phone to show off the many photos, “his name is figaro-.”

asha swipes through the phone in awe, “and when the fuck did this happen?”

“like a few weeks ago, i wanna say…” you turn to look at andrea while trying to remember.

“i’m coming over way more now. oh my god.” she gushes over the many photos of the playful black kitten before returning andrea’s phone.

“please do, it felt like you were gone for so long.” you whine out the beg before taking another sip of the warm broth.

asha sighs (in a way that causes her lips to flutter a little), “i know, i miss hanging out with my friends!”

“and we miss you! your ass is always traveling somewhere we have to soak up all your LA time while we can,” you joke.

the two laugh along with you, “i think i’ll be here for a while…not until like, my birthday.” asha thinks through her schedule and her mouth widens at the thought of her birthday, “oh my god! i forgot to tell you- mostly because it’s kinda far out? so, the past four years i’ve hosted trips for my birthday in late november... and i want you two to come this year!”

your eyes widen in excitement and your mouth is full of noodles, keeping you from letting out the loud 'yes' you wanted to. so andrea answers for the both of you, “well of course, we’ll come!”

asha’s face can’t possibly be stretched further with happiness as she celebrates, “yay, this’ll be so fun! you’ll get to meet some of my girlfriends and f’course the boys will be there so you’ll know a few people already!”

“and where are we going?” you ask with big, curious eyes.

“hawaii!"

౨ৎ

a distinct berry shade drips over the room in full swoops as the leaving sun peeks through matt's curtains ever so gently. your lips are now almost the same shade of the woven fabric, especially after enduring matt's undying and bitter kisses.

you hear him breathe a soft laugh, finding your body's limp, laid-out position to be straight out of an erotic femme painting: right leg and arm stretched above and below you, left arm above your waist to cradle your tits, and left leg bent and falling over the opposing leg.

you turn your head when you recognize his return, whispering, "hey."

matt’s bed dips accordingly when he lowers himself next to you, fixated on your still-exposed silhouette that hosts a few deep hickeys (he’s recently taken a liking to giving you them, his ego gains a small ignition at the thought of him placing them only where he gets to see), rather than your observant eyes.

he finds one he’d kissed into the skin under your printed hello kitty, leaning closer to lick and suckle at it more. you squirm and push his head away with a whine of his name.

he chuckles and moves his hair from his face, “put some fuckin’ clothes on then.” he lays your sweatshirt and panties, he gathered on his way back to you, against your chest.

you lift yourself easily, though a sleepy yawn still makes its way to you as you fit into the hoodie. matt shifts himself to slouch against his headboard. you finish your redressing before moving yourself higher on his bed as well.

matt thinks your phone screen is severely bright and headache-inducing but he doesn't complain as he normally would, instead he's more focused on balancing his joint-rolling necessities atop his wife beater clad torso.

you pay no attention to him as you exchange texts with remi:

REMI - 6:43 PM

OMFG

REMI

this guy im friends w thinks i should set you up on a blind date with a guy he knows :D

REMI

HE JUST SHOWED ME A PIC AND ... fuck

REMI

PLS SAY YOULL DO IT

REMI

u deserve a nice date night

Y/N - 8:36 PM

hi WHATTT

Y/N

idk rem😭😭

REMI

ABOUT TIME U RESPONDED HELLO

REMI

rlly you dont wanna??

Y/N

ill have to think about it

you sigh while turning off your phone, moving your body to better face matt, who's hands work to add the potent plant into his detailed silver grinder. there's obviously no need for you to stay in his bed or hang around for any longer, but as of late you both aren't necessarily itching to kick the other out as soon as clothes are back on.

"i wanna learn," you declare as you sit up more, looking down at his slouched figure.

"to roll?" he asks pausing his smooth routine and licking over his lips expectantly.

"yeah," you move your hoodie’s long sleeve cuffs away from the lower half of your palm, showing him your dedication and anticipation.

matt smirks and continues to zip the plastic bag once more, shaking his head.

"what? why not, matt?" you pout.

“because i’m already good at it,” he shrugs, “you can smoke with me but you don’t have to be the one to roll.”

“‘kay, whatever. i’ll just get someone else to teach me then, like chris or lucas or somethin’” stretching as you collapse back onto his bed and bury your face in the crook of your arm. when matt does nothing to pull you out of your dramatic fit, you decide to mess with him further, grabbing his phone from its place near his thigh and rolling over so that you lie on the plush of your stomach.

you pretend to type (actually just tapping against his uncharacteristically soft lockscreen, displaying a vintage looking photo of a woman you’d only assume to be his mother) then putting the phone up to your ear, mimicking the ring with a burring noise in your throat. “hey lucas! yeah it's me, matt never gave me your number! i know. that is really selfish and unfair!” you nod along while staring at matt who thinks you look and sound so stupid that it’s kind of cute.

you twirl your hair and bite your lip, really getting into character, “you're right, he is the worst. he won’t even let me roll up with him! but that’s fine, i think i may just need someone more skilled and sexy like you to hel-”

matt taps your barely covered ass harder than he intends to, shocking you in the best way. “alright, stop fuckin’ around and pay attention ‘cause i’m not repeating myself,” he softly demands, gesturing you to sit up with his fingers.

"ow!" you rub at the spot and roll your eyes in faux irritation, fighting the urge to smile now that you've successfully recaptured matt's attention and can still feel the heat of his hand on your ass. you try to give yourself grace in moments like this but you can't help but reflect and feel a bit pathetic when having a crush on someone like matt.

matt, who would never take a relationship further than casual sex and unserious after-sex smoke sessions, especially not with you.

"shh. come here, bruh" he hushes you and you obey, shifting to sit next to him, reflecting his bent position. "'kay," he hands you the grinder, mumbling, "take a look," as he grabs one of the natural hemp rolling papers and places the packaging on his nightstand.

you open the silver lid gently, eyes widening slightly and impressed with the dollops of finely crushed weed laying in the container. "how much do you use?"

"all of it," your head practically snaps over to look at him and he sighs, "y/n, it's like half a gram."

you fight the urge to dip your index finger in the crowd of weed and move it around, "still looks like kind of a lot."

"well, it's not," he shakes his head and adjusts his shoulders. "now you're gonna take some in your fingers and place it in this paper," he taps your distracted arm with his hand to bring your attention to the rolling paper he has curled slightly around his thumb. as you begin to take a hold of some of the substance he warns, "and don't do too much at once- i don't need you spillin' any on us or my bed."

"you're such a diva," you huff and softly sprinkle the weed into the wrapper he's holding.

once it's full enough matt shows you how his fingers guide the paper and fold it into its proper joint shape. he moves his hand towards your mouth, "now you gotta lick and seal it." you inch closer, hesitantly peeking your tongue out just a little to lick at the small flap. "okay, you need more than that baby-ass lick. but don't over-do the spit 'cause that'll fuck it up too," he eyes your mouth when you expose more of your tongue, successfully sealing the joint (with matt's guidance).

he finishes off the end of the joint before presenting it to you, "voilà," matt fiddles with the joint in front of your face before you boldly grab it from his hands.

you immediately encourage him with a wave of your fingers, "gimme that lighter, please."

he's slightly impressed with your sudden confidence and adjusts himself (removing the remaining items from his lower stomach, including the lighter you ask for) and reaches over to light it for you.

matt's lip falls between his teeth due to natural anticipation. the sharp, orange hue sparks to life and you gain a shyness as he approaches the joint in your mouth with it. suddenly your fingers take it away from your mouth as you whisper, "wait, matt."

matt dramatically throws his arm down, "yeah?"

"i don't actually know how to do this," a smile spreads across your face when you see matt's mouth slightly ajar and eyes disengaged.

"seriously? you started talkin' like you've at least smoked a couple times."

you hold a laugh in, "well like, i wanna try it. you just have to tell me what to do..."

"inhale the shit," matt gestures his hands, "hold in your lungs, blow it out. it's simple as fuck," he points to your hand holding the joint, "let's see it."

you deadpan, "you're so unhelpful," you shake your head and place it back in your mouth, "just light me up."

he rolls his eyes as his hand moves back up to you, you lean into the flame and immediately inhale as it comes to life in your mouth.

matt just smirks from next to you, amused at your attempt. you focus on holding it in your lungs and close your eyes as you exhale. the smoke exits smoothly and surrounds your head, when you open your eyes you immediately look over to matt who laughs when he sees a cough brewing in your lungs. you push his shoulder just as you begin a small coughing fit.

he goes to grab the joint from your hand but you raise it away, finishing your cough and putting it back into your mouth to taste the odd plant flavor again.

matt's laugh is still there just died down, "who the fuck are you?! 'just light me up' and then here you go actin' like you own shit." he points a finger at you with his eyes big and playful.

you smirk sarcastically, and your eyes crinkle in the softest way, when you lean closer to him in response, blowing smoke in his face.

౨ৎ

"so why're nick and chris staying so late at the warehouse?" you ask and play with the strings of your hoodie.

matt draws lines across your inner thigh with his fingers, "it's nick's month to do inventory and chris bought some crazy wall art shit he had to finish setting up-"

"you're not gonna help them?"

"oh yeah sweetheart, i'll actually go there right now and help them out." his eyes are so dewy and red you find yourself excusing his annoying sarcasm and instead wanting to kiss him and his puffy eyelids and his flushed cheeks, especially when you're sat on top of him like this.

"still, they probably wanted you around," you explain.

"why do you care so much about shit that doesn't involve you? i left them and invited you over so you should be happy." his voice eases his delivery to not come across so harshly while his eyes squint a little.

"you're right, s'not really my place to have a take on y'all's dynamic." you shrug and feel as his hands stop running over your thighs and instead squeeze harshly as he looks in your eyes.

"mmm, thank you for telling me i'm right," he smiles and leans forward to give your jaw a kiss with his wet, pink lips, "say it again and i'll be fully hard."

"you're a dog," you laugh as he pulls away. "what'd you do today?" you whisper, ignoring the sensation that comes with him feeling up your lower half.

"guess." he blinks slowly.

"mmm... i don't know. you tattooed some people, fucked me, made fun of me, smoked..." you list off on each of your fingers.

he nods along as you list each, making different facial expressions depending on the task. "those are all definitely things i did.."

"did you eat?"

"i mean, yeah...ish." he rubs his eyes and his mouth begins to curve slightly, knowing your next sentiment well enough he could say it with you.

as if on queue, you prompt him with a question that tends to come up quite often when the two of you finish fucking, "can we get food?"

౨ৎ

the doorbell of matt's shared townhome rings through the house as the two of you giddily stand near the door, "3, 2, 1.." you count through giggles before opening the door and facing the young man dressed head to toe in papa johns gear.

"oh. my. god!" you exclaim in a ridiculous country accent, "baby come here, they sent a man to sell us insurance or somethin'!" you call out and pinch your eyebrows.

before the man can get a word in matt comes into frame, cowboy hat in tow and his mocking accent deeper yet identical to your own, "now who 'den sent you here to harass my woman? huh?" he holds a tooth pick in his mouth and squints his eyes. "and how much would i owe to have whatever you got in them boxes, son?" he points and you try not to laugh from behind him.

"uh, it's just a pizza delivery that was ordered to this address, sir..." he looks around, checking the numbers displayed next to the door once more.

you peek your head back in, "you know what, charles, it was probably little john, you know he's always orderin' that amy-zun and what not from that tablet!"

"mmm..." matt pretends to think and not laugh as he holds onto a fake belt around his black sweatpants, "my lady's right," he cracks a smile, "you know how the kids get," he tuts and gestures to the man again while pulling out his wallet, "i owe you?"

"only $12.57."

"right," matt grabs a few bills and whistles, "wife, come grab this box for little john would you?" he hands the money over as you reach for the pizza box, "keep the change, boy." he tilts his hat in dismissal and as soon as the door is shut matt's falling to the floor with laughter as you laugh and place the pizza box down, screaming about how close you are to pissing yourself.

౨ৎ

"asha told me about her birthday trip in november," you say, licking your lips of excess pizza sauce.

matt nods and swallows to respond while wiping his mouth, "yeah she does that shit every year."

you adjust yourself on the bed and grab another slice of the cheese pizza in between you two. "it sounds fun, i'm excited," you say before taking a bite.

"yeah, it's usually fun. usually." he laughs.

"meaning?"

"last year in mexico nick almost fist fought asha's boyfriend because he was bein' shitty to her on her birthday. it was a fuckin' brawl everyday of that trip, i swear."

"damn."

"yeah. but don't trip, asha's not letting anything ruin her birthday this time, she loves herself too much to do that." he rolls his eyes in endearment towards his friend.

"well, how about you? your birthday's next weekend.."

matt shakes his head and looks to the side for a moment, "we always struggle to figure out what we're doing for our birthday. the three of us wanna spend that time together but chris wants a party, nick wants a small get together with games, and i'd want a lowkey dinner or something."

"you could always do all of the ideas but on different days."

"that drags it too much, we'll most likely host a party like we did last year, chris will probably nag us enough to make us give up." matt shrugs and takes a bite of his slice.

"well, i'll be at whatever you decide to do," you smile.

"oh will you now?" his eyebrows lift for just a moment in humor.

"well duh."

"and who's inviting you? cause it won't be me," he smiles and stuffs his mouth again right as you push his shoulder and laugh off his bad joke.

꩜⋆ ˚｡⋆🎱˚

tag list (ily):

@rootbeerworshiper @deadxrx @breeloveschris @saintsturn @honestlybabymiracle @hearts4chris @starrysturniolo @blissfulbellss @aoxash @st7rnioioss @blondiesjailer @cupidsword @nickmillersn1gf @sturnioloa @thinkingabkinkyshit101 @tcvazq @novasturniolo03 @imaslutforwhitemen @trinity2058 @taking-a-footnote-in-your-life @1horrormoviewhore1 @keira324 @st7rnioioss

@whicked-hazlatwhore @matthewsturnioloswifey @mayhem-72

[amymbona]

I'm so obsessed with the idea that Patrick will have a daughter, not a son! but a daughter. And I need to read something abt ex-husband! Patrick and their daughter again. Saw ur bot in character.ai, but I need something more on this topic, 'm dying 😭😭

Patrick is hundred percent a girl dad, that's an iternationally known fact! I was almost convinced that I posted some headcanons about girl dad Patrick but I can't find it anywhere on my tumblr, so maybe it was just a dream. 😟

Despite Patrick being quite a reckless prick, you're always sure she's safe with him. He can be a bit messy, you're well aware, as you used to be a frequent coordinator of his messiness, but with your daughter, he could earn a master's degree in cautiousness. It's almost surpising to you, how clean his place is and how beautiful of a room he has made for daughter there, with pink walls and a princess bed, all to ensure his daughter gets the treatment she deserves.

Sometimes, when you drop her off and catch a glimpse of the pristine marble counter in his kitchen, you get very doubtful of your own job as a mother. It's not like you're poor, no, but with Patrick being a successful and now retired tennis player, he's able to afford whatever you have times three. And for that reason, you're afraid your daughter would tend to gravitate towards him. After all, you work a lot and aren't able to buy her all the toys she'd like (you'd be able to, if you accepted all the money Patrick has generously offered you over time, but your own pride doesn't allow you to) and Patrick is basically a stay at home dad, constantly present and showering her with gifts.

This is a thought that you've managed to keep safe from the outside world, mainly from Patrick. Despite him being allowed to see his daughter at any time, her permanent residence is your place, and after the divorce you've been assigned as her number one guardian - a mutual agreement between Patrick and yourself, as you both know the little girl needs her mother's presence more - you're still too afraid that the moment Patrick sees you fall behind, he'll attempt to gain full custody over her. And that would be an absolute stab in your heart.

Each time you drop the little one off, he notices you disheveled appearance and offers you to take care of your daughter for a day or two longer so you could get some rest. He even offers you money again, so you don't have to work your ass off and stay at home with your daughter instead. But again, you reject.

"At least come inside," he insists, bouncing the little one in his arms.

"No, Patrick, I have stuff to do," you reject his offer with a shake of your head.

Patrick rolls his eyes just subtly enough so your daughter wouldn't notice. "Don't be stubborn. I'll make you some tea."

So you do come in, finding yourself absolutely unable to oppose Patrick. In full honesty, you're too tired to fight him, feeling like you could fall asleep even when you're standing on your feet. The last couple of days have been rough and you simply weren't able to get enough sleep.

"I'll go make it," Patrick announces, his voice much softer as his hands are now free and your daughter runs in the direction of her room.

"Okay," you nod, unable to offer even a simple smile and follow your daughter. You've only seen her room at Patrick's about two times, but that was about half a year ago, and your curiosity gets the best of you. "How about you show me what's new in your room?"

"Yes, yes!" the girl's little hand slips into yours and she drags you behind herself with the force of a horse, probably having inherited that after her father. "Daddy got me a new lego house last time. Come, look!"

You follow the little bundle of joy into her room, a gasp leaving your mouth when you see the little princess chamber Patrick has transformed it into. A pink canopy bed sits in the centre of the room, surrounded by an uncountable amount of toys all over the floor, various houses for her Barbie dolls lined up by the wall. A giant teddy bear is occupying an armchair in the corner, where Patrick probably sits when he reads her bed time stories, and little stars that presumably shine at night are hanging off of the ceiling. This is nothing like the excuse of a room she has at your place. This is way better...

With a yawn, you drop down on the bed, the soft mattress creaking under the weight of your body, while your daughter begins excitedly showing you all the outfits she put together for her falls, explaining how this one is meant for a casual walk and that one will be worn at a Barbie winter ball. Her eyes are glowing and she's clearly in her element, constantly pulling your attention with look, mommy! from one gift to another. She has everything she'll ever need in here.

The distant noise of the running kettle fills your ears as you lower yourself down, knees curling up by your chest as the bed clearly isn't made for someone your size. But you're really fucking tired at the moment and just need to rest for a while. While your daughter plays, your eyes follow all the goods in her room, eyelids becoming heavier and heavier with each passing moment. Perhaps if you close them for just a few seconds, it'll get better.

Just few minutes after that, Patrick's curly head peaks through the door, a cup of black tea in his hands. "There you go, now we can- Oh."

The sight in front of him is something he would have never expected to see in a million years, his ex wife, evidently absolutely worn out, funnily curled up in the toddler bed and snoring softly. It's pitiful, and at first, he wants to laugh and make fun of you for being so pathetic. But then it hits him, like a dagger straight through his heart, that you're really fucking exhausted.

Patrick squats down by the bed, eyes settling on your beautiful face, so pale and almost lifeless. It hurts him to see you like that and he doesn't have the heart to wake you up, deciding that even if you don't suit the surroundings at all, you deserve to stay asleep as long as possible. So he gathers the bunched up princess blanket and places it over your back gently. With a small, partially guilty smile, he smooths the blanket down and presses a kiss to the side of your head.

"Come on, princess," he gets up with a small pat on his thighs and walks around the bed to scoop your daughter into his arms. She's so similar to you, a little reminder of what he has lost. "We're gonna let mommy rest."

[queen-of-elves]

Under the moon

Steven grant x fem!reader

Soulmate AU

Epilogue

Summary: You always thought you were alone, without a soulmate, but the universe loves surprises.

Word count: almost 3K

Warnings: sweet but very angsty? I tried lol, some swearing etc.

A/N: Y/S - soulmark of your choosing, I didn’t want to choose a soulmark that represents Y/N. :) btw the timeline is way off and apparently I don’t care about it so

P.S.: to this day I am still thinking about Soulmate AU w Bucky Barnes (read it at least 5 years ago)  where reader is only soulmate of Winter Soldier, so this is sort of inspired, and for the love of me I can’t find the fanfiction, therefore if someone would be so lovely and let me know if you recognize it from my poor summary.

Since you were born, you were one of the unlucky few, without a soulmate, without your second half. It was not that bad actually, not that bad as everyone tends to imagine. You can’t really miss something you don’t have, what you actually never had, can you?

Where everyone's wrist was decorated by a mark of their soulmate, something that represented them on a personal level, you had a blank space. Where your wrist was meant to be grazed by ink and color, there was absolutely nothing. It never really bothered you, you had your little quiet life and that was enough for you. Living in a world full of superheroes and aliens kinda does that to you.

However, from time to time the realization of your situation overwhelms you, hits you really low, just like now. One of your friends, Marcy,  invited you for a celebration party of them finding their soulmate. It happened like in those romantic movies, or that’s what she tells everyone. One look and they knew, didn’t even have to check their soulmarks. 

Lucky.

Marcy and Tom were adorable; you couldn’t deny it, all heart-eyes and little kisses. And yes, there was joy in your heart for them but the sting of jealousy every time you saw them was apparent. Heavy on your chest was the sadness you were meant to carry alone for the rest of your life. 

The thought of soulmates started to consume your mind more often then you have anticipated after the announcement from Marcy. You expected to think about it from time to time, sure, the whole world was obsessed with them after all, but you? Not so much. However, Marcy constantly posted and talked about her amazing relationship with Tom even though they met just two weeks ago. And it just pissed you off. Never ever have you felt like this, even in middle school where kids happily showed each other their soulmate marks, leaving you feeling bad about the blank skin, or in college when everyone started to meet their soulmates. 

This party is going to be a nightmare. Fuck. 

***

The party was worse than a nightmare, even though you love Marcy to death, she was insufferable. Clinging to Tom the whole time and everytime the conversation wasn’t about them she would gladly navigate it back. You suppose that’s how everyone with a newly discovered soulmate acts, they are their world afterall.

You have spent the rest of the party hiding away from her, because you could handle talking about soulmates only to some degree, and drinking, happily and heavily drinking! Alcohol often makes you warm and fuzzy so why not now, you had needed that to cheer you up. 

And at the end of the long night Marcy couldn’t let you leave, probably after seeing you mix gin and tonic into a big bowl and then putting a colorful straw into it. Sometimes you were not really proud of your drinking habits... 

So after everyone left, Marcy told you to go sleep on her couch, draped a blanket over you and put a bucket next to your lying form. It sort of reminded you of one of those sleepovers you used to have when you were both in middle school. 

This would have been a magnificent last thought before closing your eyes and going to sleep if it weren’t for the annoying tingling sensation on your skin.

If she has bed bugs on her couch, I will kill her. You thought, opening your eyes and vigorously scratching your arm while you sat up. And when the haze dissolved and you could finally turn your focus on your wrist. You couldn't believe your eyes. 

Soulmark, your own soulmark. One second there was nothing and now a crescendant shape was adoring your wrist in a black outline. The waxing crescent staring at you in its hollow beauty, insolent mark of universe on your life. 

“No-,” you stared unmovingly down at your arm, whispering softly as if saying it louder would erase it,”-way.” You felt like breaking down, now of all times you have a soulmate? Were they born now? Or did they lose their soulmate and the universe assigned you together? So many questions and even the internet could answer only a few, plus Marcy’s wifi was shit so it took a horrendous amount of time to find anything. 

But in the end, even the palpation in your chest had yet to stop and tears kept on running down the slope of your cheeks, when the thought struck you. You had someone you were meant to be with, a SOULMATE.

***

The revelation of having a mark happened a few months ago and nothing has changed since, crescendant moon mark still on and slightly less mocking by now. 

You had quite the thought about it and you decided that it was… fine, just fine. People have soulmates, it's a thing, so it's… FINE, right? Yeah, you were kinda panicking about it. 

Why now of all the time?

Also was London always so cheerful? The stereotypical image of gloomy streets with a rainy haze contradicting the one you were rushing through. It was late afternoon and the streets were buzzing with people, the veins of the city working steadily, keeping the whole organism alive. Maybe your mood would be better if the weather was gloomy, if people were all irritated and nasty. Then it would make more sense for you to be annoyed with your life. 

This one time the universe decided to listen to your wishes, a harass push sent you flying backwards, stumbling into the person standing behind you, both of you tumbling on the dirty pavement of the bus stop. The gravel scraped one of your palms but otherwise your fall was cushioned by the person behind you.

Universe just couldn’t give you a break, it seemed. 

“Oh my, you alright? Let me just-,” hand extended to help you up with your tote bag already picked up and dusted off in the other.” help you up. There.” The sting in your palm distracted you from any further examination of the extended arm in front of you. And before you could blink again, you were at your feet with your silly little tote bag bestowed in your hand. Well almost-, your knight in shining armor noticed scraps of gravel entombed in your skin and a tenuous stream of blood trickling down, before he could hand it to you fully. “Oh my, that looks nasty.”  If you haven’t realized before, now you have, his voice was the sweetest thing ever, like it was wrapping you in a blanket and shushing you to go back to sleep, that kind of sweet. 

God, do I have a concussion? At this idea you jumped away from him, giving him quite the scare. 

The realization hits you quite slowly, soulmark, your soulmark was grazing his tanned wrist and intertwined with Y/S. Oh, so there he was, your soulmate.

 It took him just a few seconds to come to the same conclusion and now his eyes were bulging out of its sockets, staring bewildered at your mark, while his mark was peeking from under his coat’s sleeve. 

This was it, wasn't it? The moment in which you absolutely knew that no matter what happens you can't get on without this feeling. You felt so warm and happy like never before, as if you had seen the sun for the first time. Was it the same for everyone or was it just you? Maybe it was a no-soulmate-before thing and to experience being in the presence of your soulmate was just too much for those like you. Your heart was beating very fast, sprinting miles to nowhere… was it also normal? All of this seemed so unusual. Perhaps you were dying, cardiac arrest is always on the table, isn’t it?

And then he smiled and all of it got more intense, more sunshine in your life, the warmth spreading through you now scorching your insides and you couldn’t get enough of it.

He stood slumped, the coat hanging on him, trying to hide his figure completely to unwanted attention, but still framing him in your adoring gaze as the most handsome man in the whole vast world. 

“Please be real.” Whisper left your lips before you could register that your mouth opened. This  seemed to brighten his mood even more, your comment not weirding him out at all. As if for him it was an acceptable norm, to doubt the existence of human beings standing in front of him.

************

“I don't understand it. So we got magically assigned together? Aren’t soulmates designed from birth?”

“I am just as stumped as you. Honestly, all of this is a bit bonkers!” He exhaled as if out of absolute relief, contradicting his words.

You and Steven were now sitting on an ugly painted park bench near the bus stop. And while the conversation was not smoothly pacing as you had anticipated and in your nervous state you kept peeling off the chipped green paint from the metal bench, Steven was very polite. He told you his name right after the two of you labeled each other as real people, not just a construct of your lonely minds (and lack of sleep in Steven’s case). 

And now that you had time to fully look at him, you deemed your soulmate as the most handsome man in the whole world. Dark unruly hair falling into his eyes seemed too fluffy to your liking, maybe it was the need to touch it that made you lovingly hate it. You really loved to look at him, as if he was a piece of art even though his posture was never changing, clothes hanging on his frame as if trying to hide him and oftentimes it seemed as if his tongue was not adjusted to speak in such a way.

He fits perfectly in your life but in his, in some odd way he seemed to struggle to adjust.

So, from your first interaction with your soulmate you have gathered only a little information, obviously his name, the fact that he works in a gift shop in the National Art Gallery and his undying love for Egyptian mythology. As the conversation moves on you have yet to check off any of the boxes in your red flag list, so far so good then. It also did not end up with just Steven talking about himself, he asked you a ton of questions (he later apologized for it ‘cause he felt like he was simply intruding) which not a lot of guys do, based on your narrow experience with blind dates and stuff like Tinder.

And as time flew by you realized Steven’s lovely brown irises never left you, not even for a split second did his attention shift, as if in his eyes you were the sun. Well he for sure was in yours, warm and light gifting sphere, from now on the center of your universe. 

**************

It has been weeks since you have met him and so far everything was going great, more than great, Steven was nothing but sweetheart to you but still there was the milestone of spending a night at one’s place was still yet to be crossed. When this question first came, Steven seemed hesitant at the idea of spending the night at someone else’s place or maybe it was about you. Maybe he was hesitant about you spending the night as his? 

You basically mutually decided that this part of dating could wait, there is no race to be won so why to rush it, right? This seemed to soothe the worry rising in both of you. And there were other bridges to be crossed so you both turned your attention to them. 

Steven was a sweetheart since the start of you two, could you actually call it dating tho? Neither of you have spoken out about it, setting in the borders of the relationship. Yes, objectively speaking how you spend the time with your soulmate would be sorted into the category of dating but neither of you have called your meetings a date yet. It was nerve wracking, simply dancing around the topic in every conversation, you trying not to make him uncomfortable and Steven in the same position but on the opposite side. 

You couldn’t take it anymore and you were done being anxious over something so silly. So you took the first step and texted him.

You thought that the giggling and kicking your legs in the air era was done by the time you turned 20 and apparently it was not. Keeping your excitement over him was too hard for you to contemplate over even attempting at it. Steven just made your heart buzz with a newfound energy.

It was impossible to imagine someone else as your soulmate, it was even more inimaginable to try to picture someone more perfect than the lovely museum gift shopist. ‘Cause Steven’s never ending politeness sometimes caught you off guard, he opened doors for you, bought you flowers and even sweet little pastries from the expensive bakery near his flat. You could not fathom how he could be insecure about himself, every single woman you knew would have died for Steven of their own. 

You couldn’t imagine someone more perfect, maybe because Steven was just the definition of perfect.

**********************

You were in ecstasy, you finally sort of convinced Steven to spend the night at your place. Fully innocent idea of movie night with the hope of it turning into a some kind of sleepover. He didn’t seem so eager but movie night sounded too good to his ears for declination. And yes, you two had the deal and all, however it’s been almost three weeks and the impatience in both of you started to rise to the surface.

Everything was ready, finding the movie Steven talked about last week was the only and the biggest obstacle in your journey for a full night with Steven as a company but even that you have successfully conquered. 

Nothing could have stopped you now, nothing could have ruined your excellent mood tonight. Well, there was one thing, this feeling that something terrible was on the horizon, a sort of hunch that something was not quite right. You tried to push it deep inside, to not think about it but the feeling persisted. So you kept busy, waiting at first patiently for Steven’s arrival and then very impatiently pacing the floor of your flat, still keeping the appearance of being busy. Checking if you had his favorite tea in the cupboard, enough popcorn or inspecting the cleanliness of the coffee table on which you have placed snacks for you two. 

He was late, he always was a bit late, well, he was always late and usually it was not a bit. Waiting sort of became your strong suit after meeting Steven, so you sat down on the sofa checking your phone to see how late he was. 

And then you saw it, a bad omen. This had to be a nightmare, was the universe playing a cruel trick on you? Has nothing of it been real? Had you only dreamed of him the whole time?

No, it was real. Your still dirty beige tote bag laying on the kitchen counter strengthened the conviction of your senses that the encounter with your soulmate, and he, himself, were real. However your wrist was now bare, disproving all of it again. You felt nothing though, no pain in your wrist, absolutely nothing that would indicate change.

You were positioned at the start again, fresh clean start insisting that nothing happened, so what if you imagined him and the soulmark the whole time. Nothing changed, you could never feel lost for something you never had, right?But you had him, he was yours and he was real.

Shivering from the sudden drops, cold like ice, rolling down the sides of your neck and staining your sleeping shirt, you realized how this thought process was wrong. All of it was wrong. You felt him, it had to be real, you shouldn’t doubt his existence.

You felt stuck. Skin petrified in the momentum where you could still doubt if the universe was having a laugh over you or if all of this was just a big misunderstanding, somehow.

And only the moon now stands to you as a companion, looking down at you from the dark night sky and casting every surface in gentle glow with the soft light passing through the room, reflecting on every metal.

So under the light of your only faithful companion you weep for your lost love. The universe for sure loved being cruel.

[stonerboydyke]

@tinyboar tagged me so lets go!!!

Last song?

Perky Little Porn Star from Naked Boys Singing. ummmm i was hanging out with my girl (she does community theatre) and 3 gay guys tonight and we were talking about avenue q so it was just the natural progression. i wanted to play Soccer Practice by Johnny McGovern but i didnt get the chance.

Favorite color?

blue

Currently watching?

My girl has been showing me Buffy and I've been showing her Xena so we go back and forth between the two.

Last movie/ show?

Some Like It Hot (1959) it was a fun movie! been watching a series of drag movies with @tinyboar

Sweet/spicy/savory?

fucked up question but i pick savory

Relationship status?

engaged w @runawayjules

Current obsession?

Xena and thinking abt the d&d campaign im gonna run after i complete my degree this year.

Last thing you googled?

Requiem for the American Dream. its a documentary i watched a long time ago and i needed to fact check myself before spreading misinformation.

Soooo last time i checked i had 1 follower that wasn't someone i knew irl or a pornbot so if you wanna do this feel free!

[amajorsystem]

ok so basically to sum up our points.

we don't know what winter king was like directly after the transfer, or the circumstances it happened in. all we can gather is that he did it while still insane, thus it's debatable how much agency he had in this event. we do know that he didn't go back once it happened, which is the real decision.

how did he react, to suddenly be sane? does he feel bad initially? does he know immediately what happened, or does he piece it together because he didn't do it with a sane mind? we don't know. we have no information on the event or his initial reaction. all we know is that it happened 100 years ago and presumably he doesn't feel bad anymore, if he ever did.

now, for the actual events: personally, I don't like the theory that he killed marceline. with the narrative throughline of the star being a marceline without simon (and how that impacts her ethics), it makes the most sense for wk to be a simon without marceline and how that impacts his ethics. what happened is up for debate but him killing her post coming back doesn't make sense w/ the parallel. it's unclear what happened to betty, but presumably she didn't come to the future and thus probably died in the apocalypse. this is a simon who came back alone.

now, the crown. if we look at the ice king in the retelling of events, we can see that he's a lot angrier than the ik we know in the show. this could be due to a lot of factors, losing marceline, not having betty, etc but what really matters is that the crown's curse is supposed to make you like master evergreen. ice king never quite got there because simon's love persevered in some aspects of ice king. but if wk lost that love in some way, then it makes sense that the curse would affect him differently as ik.

it's possible also that when he transferred his madness, he also transferred the sadness attached to these relationships (due to madness/sadness being linked with magic). however why would he have ice marcy if he didn't feel some negative feelings about not having the real marceline (however you believe that happened)? we know through meta information that some of the curse still lingers, but to what degree?

if you believe the winter kings ik was cursed the same as mainworld simon, then he may have transferred that version of madness to her. but with the way she talks about him, and the plan to blend them together, it seems likely that her obsession stems from subconsciously knowing they "belong together": her madness belongs to him. this part in particular and how/if the curse differs and what that means for cq is up for debate. I think the marceline aspect is way more important than the throwaway betty line anyways.

personally, I think the reason he doesn't have empathy for her is simple: he's had 100 years to get over it. if you spend 100 years living in a bubble (snow globe if you will) where everything is perfect and everyone loves you and you don't need to face the consequences of your actions, while getting to live your life to the fullest after your whole self was taken from you... well, you might get a bit empathetic to the suffering of people outside your bubble. he's in full denial mode because he doesn't want to go back to being ik, so he just completely avoids unpacking any of it to live in his fantasies

so basically this guy is soooo fucked

[mdhwrites]

 I actually think the fandom is scared of Boscha being strong because they don’t like admitting the bully IS sometimes much stronger than you. I have consumed lots of Boscha content, and I’ve seen L U Z written as lifting Boscha in the air with one arm by the throat, or just generally deleting her in single hand combat?

 Meanwhile I’ve read Boschlow (and Scarscha) content where Boscha is perfectly strong and capable even in comparison to Willow (yes I know Boschlow is controversial but the Boscha content that isn’t just hateful to her is HARD to find, luckily most of it drags Boscha through a long ass redemption arc or just makes her nicer from the get go?). Its usually Boscha haters who paint her as an inhumane monster and make her incompetent… or homophobic (SOMEHOW??)… or fatphobic… or transphobic... or a perv… or an abuser… yes i have seen all of these in various fics.

 Hunt//w does do the whole… uh… make Willow’s partner pathetic to emphasise her strength. But part of that is the fandoms obsession with having Hunter be cradled and petted for being such a good trauma dumpster, and Willow tends to baby Hunter in a lot of stories ive read.

So… This is honestly touching on the fact that the fandom projects a LOT of themselves onto the characters to an EXTREMELY unhealthy degree. You can see it on multiple levels throughout the show. Because Luz is canonically nuerodivergent with ADHD, they will protect her to the ends of the Earth. Because many of have experienced some form of parental abuse or have strained relationships with their parents, they push onto Odalia and Alador the idea that they truly are the most evil people ever. Though actually, even back between Seasons 1 and 2, you have people playing dual fantasies. The godlike parent who would always understand them in Alador but just couldn't do anything their hellish partner who hated everything about them, Odalia.

And of course, you have the possibility that much of the fandom has been bullied for many reasons (say, all those phobic elements you brought up? Just saying the writer may have a personal reason to bring those in). As such, the bully character is going to be hated beyond comparison. They're also going to be treated in such a way as to make them feel strong. Hence why people will even ignore "My weak nerd arms" Luz for the sake of allowing themselves to feel like they're beating the bully. To feel like they're superior.

Admittedly, most of this comes from the Twitter side of the fandom in my eyes. However, Twitter kind of cultivates this attitude for a show like this? How many people do you see making hateful content towards Boscha who are

Constantly online LGBTQ+ Heavily expressive of themselves Do not wish to be told what to do Incredibly hurt and angry at certain other groups, especially white dudes?

And none of these are inherently bad, especially the LGBTQ+ part, except for probably that last one because racism is still racism even against a dominant class. eyes Velma and how it's still on the air despite being racist because of that fact I also want to admit that I very much so fall into the first, third and sometimes even fourth categories. And eight years ago I was such a shit. If I hated an element of My Little Pony back then, EVERYONE had to agree with me. You were a moron if you didn't and just blind.

I crashed hard and lost a lot of friends because of that mentality and changed though. I try to see other perspectives and actually listen to other people. It's this listening that allows me to write LGBTQ+ characters despite not being one. I'm not going to say my stuff is as good as what an actual sapphic writer could do but it seems like sapphics do in fact like my work and don't find it offensive.

Sorry, got a little sidetracked. The larger point is that what people do with Boscha is… Fine. It's what fanfiction is for honestly. To release or explore the emotions and ideas you want to. It only becomes a problem when that fiction matters more than the reality of things. When you might see a blog like this and scream at me for enabling abuse or supporting bullying just because I think Boscha has more depth than you do.

No one has done that to me because of Boscha btw. Luz? I've been told to go die because "She's a minor and nuerodivergent" (I'm not kidding. TOH fans unironically use that meme to excuse Luz) despite the fact that… She's a fictional character. And I'm not. She'll never be affected by my words or your feelings. I sure as shit will be.

sigh And to touch on the last point: Yes, Huntlow definitely gets pushed for infantalizing Hunter but the show in general does that with how everyone treats him. It's not malicious in my eyes though because it happened to Amity too. It's just more of a thing in the fandom art while most people don't focus on the fact that Amity has quite obviously become less skilled, focused or impressive in general since getting with Luz. Somehow she's more powerful despite not training and seeming to not have any interest in magic anymore but that's because the show runs on "It's magic and fuck you."

sigh This show doesn't do character arcs well. And the fandom is blinded by how the characters can represent them and what they want more than what is actually happening on screen. Which is nothing new. Not for fandoms or for this show.

And sorry for how rambly this got. I have complicated feelings towards this fandom for so many reasons.

[cyndavilachase]

I’m Looking Forward Now 💖Thank you and good bye

So, it’s been a little over a week since Steven Universe Future ended… 

I’ve been hesitant to write this, honestly, but I’m tired of holding myself back from properly expressing myself in fear of appearing overly invested in the media I consume, even in private. Writing helps me organize my thoughts and feelings, and I feel like these thoughts in particular may resonate with many, so I want to share them. I want to talk about what Steven Universe has done for me personally, both as an artist, and as a person.

I’ve been around since the day the first episode of the original series aired. I actually remember when Steven Universe was just a logo on Wikipedia’s “List of Upcoming Cartoon Network Shows” list, back when I was a freshman in high school. It piqued my interest, but when commercials finally dropped for it, I thought it was going to be bad because of the way marketing handled introducing Steven as a likeable character. There was still something about it that made me want to give it a chance though, so I went online and watched the pilot before the first episode's release. I was hooked immediately. I knew I was going to love it, and I did. I fell so absolutely in love with Steven as a character, and the world that he and the gems lived in. I became obsessed. I was always so excited for new episodes to come out. Little did I know what else it would do for me as I went through my adolescence alongside it.

As the show progressed, it was evident that what I wanted out of a western animated childrens’ cartoon was finally coming into fruition: this show was becoming serialized. There was continuity, there was plot, there was character development-- it was getting deep. It was pushing the groundwork that Adventure Time laid out even further (thank you, Adventure Time).  

I will give credit where credit is due: earlier western childrens’ cartoons I grew up with like Hey Arnold, and Rugrats, among others, also touched on heavy topics, but Steven Universe was able to take similar ideas (and even more complex ones, concerning mental health and relationships) and expand on them outside of contained episodes and/or short arcs. These themes, which were a part of the show’s overarching story, spanned across its entirety. Continuity was rampant. 

What did this mean? It meant kids cartoons didn’t have to be silly and fun all the time and characters weren’t just actors playing a part in 11-minute skits. Steven and the gems would remember things that happened to them, and it affected them and how they would function and play a part in their story. This was a huge deal to me as a teenager. I always wanted the cartoons I grew up with featuring kid characters to feel more. In my own work, I often felt discouraged when combining a fun, cutesy western art style with themes as dark or layered as anime would cover. I always thought it had to be one or the other because an audience wouldn’t take a combination of the two seriously enough, based on discussions I had with classmates, friends, and online analysis I read at the time. Steven Universe proved to me otherwise. This show was opening the door for future cartoons exploring in-depth, adult concepts. I felt so seen as a kid, and was inspired to stick with what I love doing.

I was actually very worried about the show’s survival. It was in fact immensely underrated and the fandom was miniscule. Then in 2014, JailBreak dropped, and it’s popularity exploded. Part of it was because of the complex plot and the themes it was covering like I mentioned, but also because of its representation. 

I remember when fandom theorized that Garnet was a fusion due to grand, tragic reasons. Turns out, she’s simply a metaphor for a very loving w|w relationship. This was huge. I cannot stress how important it is that we continue to normalize healthy canon queer relationships in childens’ media, and Steven Universe finally was the first to do that proper. Introducing these themes offers the chance for a kid to sit there and ask themselves, “Why is this demonized by so many people?” I asked myself exactly that. Ruby and Sapphire were my cartoon LGBT rep. They were the first LGBT couple I ever ecstatically drew fanart of. I was dealing with a lot of internalized homophobia at the time, and they showed me that I was allowed to love women and feel normal about it. The process of overcoming this was a long one, but they played a part in my very first steps into becoming comfortable with my sexuality. I could go on and on about it’s representation in general-- how it breaks the mold when it comes to showcasing a diverse set of characters in design, in casting, and in breaking gender roles. It’s focus on love and empathy. Steven himself is a big boy, but he's the protagonist, and the show never once makes fun of his weight, or any other bigger characters for that matter. It wasn’t hard to see why the fandom had grown so large.

Fandom was always a joy for me. It was a hobby I picked up when I was in middle school, like many of us here did. I would always cater my experience to fun, and fun only. I only started getting more deeply involved in SU’s fandom when I had just turned into an adult. During the summer of 2016, between my first and second year of college, I drew for the show almost every day non-stop when the Summer of Steven event was going on and posted them online. This was a form of practice for me in order to become not just more comfortable with experimenting with my art, but also to meet new artists, make new friends, and learn to interact with strangers without fear. I dealt with a ton of anxiety when I was in high school. When I was a senior applying to art school for animation, I decided I was going to overcome that anxiety. I made plans to take baby steps to improve myself over the course of my 4 years of college. Joining the fandom, while unforeseen, was definitely a part of that process. I started feeling more confident in sharing my ideas, even if they were fan-made. I fell in love with storyboarding after that summer, when I took my first storyboarding class, and genuinely felt like I was actually getting somewhere with all of this. I remember finally coming to a point in my classes where I could pitch and not feel hopelessly insecure about it. I was opening up more to my friends and peers. 

But this process, unfortunately, came to a screeching halt. 

My life completely, utterly crumbled under me in the Fall of 2017 due to a series of blows in my personal life that happened in the span of just a couple weeks. My mental health and sense of identity were completely destroyed. All of that confidence I had worked for-- completely ruined. I was alone. I nearly died. My stay at college was extended to 4 and half years, instead of the 4 I had intended. I lost my love for animation-- making it, and watching it. I could no longer watch Steven Universe with the same love I had for it beforehand. It’s a terrible thing, trying to give your attention to something you don’t love anymore, and wanting so desperately to love again. I dropped so many things I loved in my life, including the fandom.

Healing was a long and complicated road. I continued to watch the show all the way up until Change Your Mind aired in the beginning of 2019, and while I still felt empty, that was definitely a turning point for me with it’s encapsulation of self-love. I was hoping James Baxter would get to work on Steven Universe since he guest-animated on Adventure Time, and it was incredible seeing that wish actually come true. The movie came out and while I enjoyed it and thought highly of it, I was still having issues letting myself genuinely love things again, old and new. It was especially difficult because cartoons were my solace as a kid, when things got rough at home. I remember feeling sad because the show ended, and not getting the chance to love it again like I used to while it was still going.

By the time Steven Universe Future was announced, I was finally coming around. I was genuinely starting to feel excitement for art and animation again. I wasn’t expecting there to be a whole new epilogue series, but happily ever after, there we were! Prickly Pear aired, and the implications it left in terms of where the story was going did it. I was finally ready to let myself take the dive back into fandom in January of this year. My art blew up, something I wasn’t expecting considering my 2-year hiatus. Following this, I was invited into a discord server containing some of the biggest writers, artists, editors, and analysts in the fandom. I had no idea there were so many talented people in the fandom, some already with degrees, some getting their degrees-- creating stuff for it on the side just for fun. The amount of passion and productivity level here is insane, and so is the amount of discussion that has come out of it.

I didn’t realize it at first, but it was actually helping me gain back the courage to share ideas. I lost my confidence in pitching while I was taking the time to heal, and graduating meant there would no longer be a classroom setting I could practice in. This group helped immensely. 

I have made so many friends through this wonderful series, and I have so many fond memories talking to like-minded creatives, getting feedback and a myriad of sources for inspiration, as well as all of the memes and jokes and weekly theorizations that came about as we all waited on the edges of our seats for episodes to air. I needed this so badly, I needed to get back in touch with my roots, when I would go absolutely hog-wild over a cartoon I loved with people who loved it as much I did. Future has been a blessing for me in this way. I graduated feeling like I was back at square-one, but now I feel like I’m on my way again.

It’s 2020 and while I’m doing great right now, I am honestly still recovering from the total exhaustion that followed after graduating a few months ago, and finally leaving the campus where my life fell apart behind. Needless to say, watching Future was like looking into a mirror. Watching one of my favorite characters of all time-- one that grew up with me-- go through so many of the same things I went through not too long ago was absolutely insane to watch unfold. It’s such an important thing too, to show a character go through the process of breaking down over trauma and all the nasty things that come with it, and to have them go on the road to healing. Steven got that therapy. He wasn’t blamed. The gems were called out. The finale was everything I could have ever hoped for. The catharsis I experienced watching it was out of this world.

As I continue my own healing journey, I will always look up to the storyboard artists, revisionists, and designers that I have been following over these past 7 years, as well as the new ones introduced in Future. It's been such a joy watching these artists release their promo art for episodes, talk about their experiences working on the show, and post the work they've done for it alongside episodes airing.

Thank you Rebecca Sugar, the Crewniverse, and the fans, for making this such a truly wonderful and unique experience. Thank you for reminding me that I am, and always will be, an artist, a cartoonist, and a fan. Thank you, my followers, for the overwhelmingly positive response to my artwork. I have had so much fun interacting and discussing the show with you all again over these past few months. Steven Universe and it’s fandom will always have a special place in my heart, and it will always be a classic that I will return to for comfort and inspiration for decades to come. I am sad that the cartoon renaissance is over, but so many doors have been opened thanks to this show. I am so, so excited to see what this show will inspire in the future, and I hope one day I get the opportunity to be a part of that. 

Goodbye Steven, thank you for everything. I wish you healing, and I wish Rebecca and the team a well-deserved rest. ♥️

-Cynthia D.

[stopeatingwhales]

about a girl x kurt cobain

hi guys omg- it’s been too long since i’ve last posted something, and my nirvana obsession has risen once again so what a thought into writing something dedicated to the one and only kurt himself <3 thank you ever so much to the person who requested this, i managed to write something i think i’m somewhat proud of aha

Pairing: pre-bleach era kurt x reader

Warnings: nothing! 

Word count: 2.165

Requested by anon <3

༉‧₊˚✧

Waiting for him to appear on stage for the first time was like a moment snatched out of a drunken stupor: so surreal I had to continuously pinch myself every few minutes for reassurance that this was really happening. With a mind cluttered in thought, it became hard to sit still for as little as ten seconds without being accompanied by an itch to either scratch my scalp in nervousness, or chew on my already bitten nails - attempting to sand off their roughened look from my previous antics. The most I had drunk that night was a couple sips of my gingerish coloured beer - with the room buzzing in anticipation and curiosity for who was headlining the bar tonight, it caused everything that even shifted slightly in its position to irritate me in all ways plausible. Unsurprisingly, I couldn’t manage to let anything settle in my stomach without having a sudden rush of nausea bubble up in my throat; it was Kurt’s first performance tonight with his new, reformed band, and being told that he was quite nervous triggered an anxiety in my veins stronger than the pain of the first rush of heroin dousing my body after months of not being able to get hold of it - allowing all my stress, agony and dread to escape my body at an expeditious rate as my body adorned the poison I was granting into my limbs. It was inevitable: Kurt was bound to be nervous before his first performance with new material to a bunch of strangers that had never seen the wonders of his model-face before, and although he had performed many times, a grasp of worry still caught into his hair as he tried to pass the time, like a knot you seemingly are unable to rid of, leaving you with no other choice but to resort to grabbing a pair of kitchen scissors and chopping that bunch of hair off. Which he had done many times. 

Whilst time speedily went on, I found myself calming down by a small amount, consoling myself with different types of remedies in solution: downing my drink, ordering another (this time a gin & tonic to spice things up) and repeating the same, before slamming my now empty glass to the table and standing up to get a clearer view of the stage, knowing they were going to come on soon. All that wondered in my mind was Kurt, quickly reminding myself over all the time we had spent together - the times when we had first become friends. I had been introduced to him early last year when Krist had asked me if I wanted to see his new band he was bassing for - and immediately was I enthralled, knowing that once I had laid my eyes on him, I would never be able to detach them from him: a poor man, masked in aristocracy in ways not physical as it may seem. He captivated me. His presence carried such warmth it was able to counter against the sun; your cheeks immediately burning as he locked eyes with you. You instantly wanted to wrap your arms around him, and when talking, you were instantly drawn to his short yet meaningful phrases, laced in passion stronger than an avocado seed. As my eyes were locked firmly together with his, I was able to notice something so pure and wondrous I had been unsuccessful in finding in anyone else: care. A simple emotion, somehow one of the hardest to master. Regardless of what the subject matter might be, he always carried a certain interest to it - constantly having something to say. Even if you found him sitting excluded from everyone else, you could notice that there was something either battling his mind, or inspiring him for something - new music, lyrics perhaps. It’s enticing, it's human. He’s human.

Suddenly, a distorted strum of a guitar abruptly blared through one of the many amplifiers dotted around the small stage at the end of the room. The crowded space was now silenced by the hasty noise, my (slightly intoxicated, yet conscious) head now instantly turning to see what had happened - although I was for certain it was the time I had been most excited for. Little whispers and hushes were the only things you were able to hear for the span of a few seconds as the amp's sound had silenced itself, a small buzz affiliating throughout the room, a couple of heads turning back and forth to see the number of people collectively awaiting to listen to the music of the unknown band performing tonight. My eyes stayed glued to the stage as I pictured his character, standing there in the middle, Krist and Chad capturing the rest of the space, adorned by their instruments - playing along to Kurt’s beautiful melodies. Gazing at his figure, beautifully formed with such masculinity, decorated with concerning parts of emeation, slowly embarking its way through to the middle of the stage - guitar gripped firmly in arm - birthed dozens of baby butterflies inside my stomach, tickling my insides in all sorts of ways. My nervousness resurrected itself once again, as I had come to a realisation that I wasn’t imagining anything at all.

Silence. 

No introduction, nothing. From his immediate grace to the stage, I could tell he was nervous; the bright light emitting onto his face allowed me to see his features much more prominently - allowing you to just about to see the small stubble that was forming on his face from his forgetfulness to shave in the morning. However, I wasn’t able to admire his face for long, only for a few seconds before he fixed his gaze to his electric guitar, placing his fingers on specific chords, then turning to stare at his bandmates. A couple looks were shared between them all, a mere roll of the eyes from Chad, a small smile from Krist towards Kurt - for motivation, as the good friend he was. Kurt on the other hand didn’t change his facial expression, only nodding his head at both the boys before switching back to stare at the instrument adorned by his grip, beginning to bob his head slowly - counting himself in. Even from afar I was able to tell that at that single moment, he didn’t carry a care or a worry for anyone but his guitar, focusing all his energy and thought into this one specific thing: the start of the performance. 

1...2...3...4

As the music began, a smile branched onto my cheeks instantly. A song I recognised, my heart warming as I realised what was playing. About a girl, the song we wrote together. 

Usually, Kurt would write alone, not wanting anyone else’s input and ideas; all the band played was what Kurt had written, for it was truly only his work on that stage, just a few people helping out to put it together in life form. However, there was a significant time after a band practice weeks ago where I had attended due to me having nothing else to do, and watching the three of them play always made me feel content - holding my heart with hope for the new wave of music they were producing. As they were packing up their stuff at the end of the rehearsal, Kurt had slowly wandered off from tidying up and had come up to me, awkwardly wanting to show me what he had written for a random song: hungry for my opinion even when he never really cared what anyone thought of his music. We ended up co-writing that specific song together, the song sounding the room at this very moment. As I stared at Kurt all that was met with my eyes was his entire concentration to perfect everything that he was playing; every move of the finger producing a different sound as he attempted to hit all the ones significantly partnered with the song. He knew I was watching him, that’s why he played this song first and foremost. 

Lifting his head up from the guitar, his mouth instantly pressed itself onto the microphone, revealing his raw, raspy vocals. My eyes were physically unable to detach themselves from the sight I was seeing at this very moment. They had performed multiple times before, yet this time, something felt different. New. Almost as if everything pieced in together, and with just a bit of sanding around the edges - they’d be perfect, unlike any band I had ever seen live. Watching the crowd’s attention simply staying undivided towards the band made me feel a sort of elation the morning of Christmas would give you, the sensational feeling hitting you that its the date that brought everyone together; this time the music was the thing that brought everyone together. My eyes scanned the crowd, noticing some people bobbing their heads, surprised by their immediate tunes that were being emitted from the song, widening my smile - if that was even humanly possible at this moment. Their fresh, uncensored, gruffy sound was something not many bands at the time even thought about playing - that was for people who were behind their time, Sex Pistols era almost. The feeling that warmed my heart at that moment was something indescribable - illegitimate for words. It felt like a lighter had torched its way into my body, the sharp pain bruising a bright crimson all the way up my torso to my cheeks, a breath hitched back in my throat as I slowly figure out the way to breathe again. The pain that caressed my heart so dearingly was also paired with a strong sense of joy. Happiness. Delighted that the pieces of such a complex puzzle were fitting together. 

As a minute or so went on, the crowd slowly began to get more and more into the music, some people now swaying their hips or dancing around with their friends. I couldn’t help but wonder how Kurt was beginning to feel, or what he was already feeling. Euphoria at the highest degree, something so strong not even a multiload of ecstasy could even attempt to give you. I found myself singing along to the words quietly, resulting in the people around me noticing that I was the only one who actually knew the song apart from the band. A random guy had turned to look at me, drink firmly gripped in hand, and with his rough attempt to shout over the loud music, whilst pointing towards the stage. “You know them?”

For a couple of scenes everything went still. I stopped moving, my eyes slowly getting lost with the man standing on the stage in front of me as I accidentally ignored the stranger’s question. I continued watching the stage, my eyes focused on Kurt - until his eyes abruptly opened, locking in with mine instantly. Startled, he noticed my starstruck expression, a little grin hanging off his lips. Maybe it was out of arrogance, however I knew he wasn’t planning on taking them off soon - not that I’d be the one to complain. His eyes were bright, glimmering with happiness; filled with life and fertility as they pierced into my soul so daringly, carrying the same devilish want that Adam had been challenged with once told not to eat the apple off the tree - his mind so intrusive he was simply unable to resist. His wondrous orbs carried a hint of impish, vanity, as they were also laced with a hint of seductivity and perhaps a shed of horniness, sudden greed blistering over his ocean-like eyes; he wanted it all, in the most wicked of ways. It would be a white lie if I had said this didn’t make me feel some sort of way; had he never looked at me like that before, I might’ve said otherwise. Perhaps his sudden bursts of confidence spewing out of him made him act this way, regardless, I knew it was something real. His eyes bestowed the same hunger he had initiated into his sudden approach when asking me what I thought of the music he had written, the first time me and him truly bonded together. I seemingly was unable to detach my eyes from him, for my body, heart and mind stayed encompassed in thought of how bewildered I was; in simply over a year, I had watched him grow, become more confident, sanguine, and it was all showing off now. He was staring at me as if the world was ending, and that I was the last thing he wanted engraved in his mind, aiding him into dying in such complacency it was almost as equal as equilibrium in the world of absolute zero. “Yes I do,” I muttered, nudging the unfamiliar person whom I hadn’t even set eyes upon. Feeling his gaze burn into my cheek, I continued to focus my eyes on Kurt, my tongue licking the sides of my mouth as I figured out words to muster. “That’s my boyfriend,” 

[hobidreams]

damn babes, life is really putting us through the wringer huh😭 post-covid effects are truly wild right?? i remember for my mom, the effects were similar to yours, but for me it made me more sensitive to tastes?? if it’s any consolation, it went away completely for me n my mom after a couple weeks!!

about summer plans though, i’m def not taking summer classes this time around💀 it sorta sunk in that i haven’t gotten a proper vacation ever since i started uni in 2020, so i really wanted to just take a break. had a conversation about it w my mom n she supported my decision to take a break this summer and i honestly don’t regret a thing🥳 anyways i’m just gonna take it easy!! planning to finish crocheting my tote bag (oh did you ever get the pic i sent of the lil hat i made for my cat or did tumblr eat it😵‍💫😵‍💫), and reading a lot of books!!! i read “the girl who fell beneath the sea” last week and i absolutely LOVED IT!! i blame you for starting my obsession with historical fiction/fantasy💀 it’s based off of a korean folktale with a couple of twists, and i think you’d really like it!! i also got the book that joon and yoongi read on in the soop s1 (almond!!), and it’s been an interesting read so far. i’ll update you hihihi. also finally started watching the red sleeves?? i already know the ending but it’s actually so fun to watch even though i know it’s going to hurt like a mf💀

ok that’s all,, sorry this ended up being way longer than i thought it would be💀 but anyways how are you babes!! any fun updates (wedding updates👀)??? what are your plans for the summer?

the spacing is still whack i genuinely don’t know how to fix it lmao

-🌿

my answer got long soooo cut!

omg more sensitive?? cant even imagine what thats like. im glad thats gone for u now!! yeah i think im mostly recovered from the taste thing now.... but also like... glad i didnt get the thing that some ppl had where everything tasted like gasoline. but my random dry coughing came back two weeks ago and its only just starting to fade again 😬😬😬 im worried and have to see a doctor abt it 😭

HELL YEAHH im so glad you got to take the summer off!! fr, so many people are rushing to do their degrees in 4 years and 🤷🏻‍♀️ most ppl i knew did it in 5 and it wasnt a big deal at all. take ur time and do what makes u happy 💗 honestly, relaxing in the summer prepares me better for the winter term so it works for the best! the tote bag sounds amazing! pls show me it!!! and no i never got the pic of ur cat hat 😤😤😤 fuck u tumblr

omg ive heard of that book before! tbh i dont read a lot of fantasy bc i prefer straight historical but i will have to check it out. my backlog of to-reads only keeps growing. oops. i hope u enjoyed the books!!

ahhh never apologize pls. i love and appreciate ur long messages!!! my plans are in effect rn haha im away at a cabin sort of place, that has VERY bad wifi so im doin my best here. but its meant to be very relaxing and lowkey so im gonna do my best to recover. ive also been getting these headaches on and off since covid, but i think theyre getting worse and idk skckwkfnkemfm. i just have to fix this before school starts.

no wedding updates for now bc unfortunately our venue isnt booking yet for 2025 and thats when we have to have it (bc of my school + timing of other big, unmoveable family events). but we've picked a place + contacted the wedding party and everything is a go for that!! oh my god its so expensive. we've made a modest budget but im afraid ppl will judge us if its not super luxurious 💀 i also have a friend (more like "friend" tbh... its a long story) who put some doubts in my mind about our small budget akdmekfm so idk we're still sorting it out. doing our best to fit in everything we want while still saving for our first home 💀💀💀 but im very excited and looking forward to it!!

[jinterlude]

Grow a Pear

—Requested by @shadowsremedy: Seokjin + Kuroko’s Basketball + School Gym as part of @bangtan-headquarters​ Bangtan Anime Club Drabble Event!

—Pairing: Seokjin x Reader (Female OC) [feat. Seungcheol from SVT]

—Genre(s): Humor, Slight-Angst, & Slight-Fluff

—AUs/Tropes: Anime-verse, Kuroko’s Basketball!AU, High School!AU, Basketball Player!Seokjin, Basketball Club Manager!Reader, Opposites Attract Trope

—Warning(s) & Rating: Swearing, Reader threatening bodily harm onto Seokjin, Shameless flirting, & Jealousy from an old middle school rival / PG-15

—Word Count: 1.6K

—Summary: In which news of playing against a certain team sparks a rather interesting memory...

—A/N: This drabble is based on episodes 52 & 53 of KnB, but you do not have to watch the series to understand this story’s overall premise! It is also inspired by Kesha’s song “Grow a Pear” (hence the title LOL) because I immediately think of Kise’s character. Since Seokjin reminds me of that 2D pretty boy, I decided to write a fun story! 

“Hey, ___!” 

A faint hum exits your lips as your eyes remain fixated on your player statistics book. You flip between a few pages with the gears in your brain working in overdrive, almost forgetting for a split moment that Kaijo’s basketball captain asked for your attention. 

“Yes, Sungwon?” You reply, closing the book and tucking it underneath your arm. 

Pursing his lips, Sungwon strides over to you, leaning against the stage inside the gym. Don’t you love playing inside an auditorium? 

“So…” He begins but grows silent. How on Earth is he supposed to ask you to be the sacrificial lamb? How will he tell you that you’ve been chosen to say the team’s resident narcissist yet talented prodigy that Kaijo will play against Fukuda Sugo? Specifically, they’re playing against a certain someone with a rather colorful history with yourself and said prodigy. 

Tiny creases form on your forehead as your brows knit together. You know that carefree look anywhere. More often than not, you become chosen to do a specific task that no other teammate wants to do—talking to Kim Seokjin. 

“Now, before you say no—”

“Nope.”  

“You didn’t even hear what I have to say.” 

“Doesn’t matter. My answer is still the same. No.” 

With that, you turn on your heel, and not even a few steps in, you bump into the one person you don’t want to see. 

“Princess!”

And to think…

You were having such a fantastic day…

“What do you want, Seokjin?” You question, grabbing the statistics book from your underarm and flipping it open to some random page. You already have the data mesmerized like the back of your hand. You just want to appear busy in front of the arrogant pretty boy. 

“Well, besides you finally acknowledging that you’re my girlfriend? A little bird told me that we’re playing against his team in the Quarterfinals,” Seokjin replies, his tone dropping near the end. This serious expression slowly takes over his handsome features, almost sending shivers down your spine. 

If looks can kill, then Seokjin is guilty of murder in the first degree...

Thank God he chose to attend a different school. Who knows what will happen if two people who absolutely despise each other play on the same team. 

“Remind me to thank Namjoon for that…” You mutter, slightly shaking your head as you slowly draw in your breath. Then, a force, light chuckle escapes your lips, personally finding it rather humorous of the current situation. 

“Anyway, so how are you feeling about playing against the dude who has a thing for your sloppy seconds?” You tease, attempting to lighten up the situation. 

Seokjin’s brow perks up, “Sloppy seconds?” he repeats, a tiny grin form on his handsome face. 

You nod, “Well yeah...I mean, he did steal your ex-girlfriend from you.” 

In response, the arrogant basketball player hums. However, this exciting gleam enters the corners of his eyes. 

What is he thinking now? 

Suddenly, he turns to you, his gaze piercing into yours with this unexplainable emotion glazing over his eyes. 

“Oh? I mean, he did come close to stealing you away from me that one day.” He states as this bright smile dances across his gorgeous face. 

For a split second, your cheeks become hot. Your heart practically drums against your chest. Shit. Even your palms clam up, sticking to the cover of the player statistics book. 

What is this feeling? 

Then, it dawns on you. This nervousness is the same emotion you felt when you comforted Seokjin that fateful day—well, supported him in your own unique way…

Tapping your pencil against your chin, a soft growl emits from your lips as you try to figure out the best course of action. The Captain, Kim Namjoon, previously asked you to develop a plan to preserve the Generation of Miracle’s stamina, specifically when using their rather unique talents. At first, you thought Namjoon was flat out insane for asking such a request. Like, you’d have to take into account their height and weight difference. Oh! You couldn’t forget that you also keep in mind their current talent levels. All while these calculations occur during an official game with another team.

Yeah...

Namjoon might as well tell you to put on a fucking jersey while he’s at it. 

Rubbing the sides of your forehead, you can’t help but let out a long, harsh breath as this throbbing sensation enters the left side of your head. 

“Hey, manager ___.” You hear a familiar voice, interrupting your rather irritating calculations. You look up from the tiny pile of scattered papers containing player statistics. However, you don’t bother spouting words towards the overly cocky player. Instead, you merely hum in response, unknowingly irking the basketball player. 

Plastering on a smug grin, the person leans against the stage, quickly glancing at what you’re doing. 

“So, is that the special project Namjoon asked you to do for him?” The arrogant male student asks. 

“Yep, and shouldn’t you be practicing Seungcheol?” You question back, raising a brow. 

Seungcheol scoffs lightly, “Why? I mean, I already earned a permanent spot on the regular team, so…” He trails on, chuckling to himself. He finds the mere thought of his spot being taken away quite humorous. 

You mentally roll your eyes. God, you don’t know who’s the bigger arrogant fool. Him or—

“Yo, Seokjin!” shouts Jungkook, running up to the new recruit. 

Ah, Kim Seokjin. He recently joined the basketball club just a few months ago. He’s already showing promise despite being a second-year student. Shit. Seokjin’s talents have rapidly progressed to the point that Namjoon took notice of him and was promoted to first-string just last week. 

Yet, you can’t quite put your finger on it, but something is holding Seokjin back. 

But what? 

Before you become entirely lost in your thoughts, you hear Seungcheol’s arrogant voice taunt Seokjin. 

Oh, great…

You swiftly stand up from your seat and rush over to the argumentative duo. But as you draw near to the quarrelsome pair, you instantly halt. What is this intense atmosphere lingering in the air? 

And why do you suddenly feel something other than agitation towards Seokjin? 

“W-what did you say?” 

“You heard me, Kim Seokjin. Whoever wins our 1v1 match earns the right to call ___ his girlfriend.” 

“Hold on. You can’t just call dibs on ___!” shouts Jungkook in complete and utter shock. 

Instantly slapping yourself back, in reality, you snatch a basketball from an innocent player and roughly throw it at Seungcheol, anger visible all over your face. 

Sadly for you, the annoying prick catches it with ease, smirking at you. 

“What’s the matter, babe? You don’t believe that I can put Seokjin in his place?” He coos, further taunting Seokjin. What sets the handsome prodigy over the edge is when Seungcheol abruptly pulls you against his chest, dropping the basketball in the process. His cheek brushes against yours, making you want to gag. 

Just as you’re about to violently elbow him in the stomach, Seokjin shoves Seungcheol away before forcefully throwing the discarded ball at him. 

“You start.” 

“This should be fun.” 

But it was just the opposite... 

It was a complete slaughter with Seokjin on his hands and knees, panting and sweating profusely. His eyes widened from the shock of his defeat. 

Not only has he lost horribly against Seungcheol, but he also lost you—or so he believes. 

“So, how about that date, baby girl? After all, you’re now my girlfriend.” Seungcheol asks, making sure that Seokjin can hear him. 

“Yeah, I don’t date dudes who have a thing for other fellas’ sloppy seconds.” You bluntly state, turning towards Yoongi and Jungkook, “I mean, first it was Yerin, right? The one that was going around the entire fucking school saying that she was Seokjin’s girlfriend. Oh, I feel sorry for her since it was just last week, you were chasing after her, and now you’re after me.” You say, clicking your tongue in fake disappointment. 

Seungcheol’s arrogant smile vanishes and is now replaced with a scowl. 

“Let me ask you this, why are you obsessed with Seokjin’s sloppy seconds? Like there are a million girls in this damn school who, oddly enough, would love to be your arm candy. Yet you go after the ones that either show interest in Seokjin or who Seokjin’s interested in. Like, dude. Stop. It’s honestly creepy to the point that I firmly believe you have a weird obsession with him.” You finish as you walk over to Seokjin, offering him a helping hand. 

Seokjin faintly smiles, grabbing your hand, as he pulls himself up. Soon, his smile becomes bright. His sweet smile almost blinds you—and makes your heart skip a beat. 

“I knew you had a soft spot for me, ___.” 

“Don’t push it, Jinnie boy.” 

Softly shaking your head, you playfully shove Seokjin, snapping him out of his thoughts. You then jump down from the stage, having popped yourself up there moments earlier. 

“Well, all I have to say is that Seungcheol better watch out. He hasn’t seen your ‘Perfect Copy’ in action yet.” You warmly smile as you make your way towards the exit but soon halt. You glance over your shoulder, maintaining that sweet smile, and say,

“Besides, he’s no match for you with your girlfriend cheering you on from the bench.”

“Right…” He mumbles, totally ignoring your words. Then, it hits him as if someone doused him with cold water. 

“Wait! Did you just call yourself my girlfriend?!!” Seokjin hollers, chasing after you. 

“I don’t know. Win tomorrow’s match, and I’ll let you know.”

“Oh, that’s cruel, princess…”

Grow a Pear is copyright 2021 by jinterlude, all rights reserved.

[radioprune]

tagged by your favorite local celebrities gia @giaucherie and B @frogeye-pierce to answer these!

nickname: haze

zodiac: libra 

height: 5′3″. i’m like davy jones but a girl

last movie i saw: love and mercy

last thing i googled: hail hail rock and roll

favorite musician: i don’t know!! as you all know my favorite band is the beatles but i don’t think any of them is my favorite musician still i’m having a phase with them rn and can’t think of anyone. carole king? george gershwin? scott joplin? 

song stuck in my head: picasso’s last words

other blogs: my main is @combefferre which i’m sure most of yinz know by now and that’s my only other one. i have my old url saved as well as another isirta one if i ever feel like shaking it up again

blogs following:  741? that’s seems like a lot idt half of those are active tbh

amount of sleep: usually i can’t stay asleep longer than like 6 hours :/

lucky number: 6! like 6 not 6 factorial haha a little math joke. for those who don’t know i did 75% of a math minor before i flunked out of it :-)

what am i wearing: my jammies :) a tshirt from my study abroad program and sweatpants that i got for free when i was working at a summer camp a couple years ago

dream job: novelist, english teacher, mailman. but with a walking route bc i don’t ever want to learn to drive

dream trip: i was supposed to go to the edinburgh fringe festival last summer and couldn’t for obvious reasons so i’d really love to do that!!!!

favorite food: peaches. close second is french fries with tzatziki sauce

play an instrument: piano, cello, guitar, bass to varying degrees of competence. guitar’s my best probably since even though i’ve been playing piano since i was 6 i only took lessons for a year so can only read bass clef from my experience w the cello. i know theory and can play by ear pretty well tho! at all times imagine i’m wearing a big t shirt that says i <3 music. 

languages: well? english. i took spanish for nine years but can barely get by, latin for 3 but that doesn’t really count, and i went to hebrew school for a few years but can only read and write it phonetically, not understand it

favorite songs: my favorite song off my favorite album is and will probably always be “i’m looking through you” for whatever reason, so there’s that. obviously the run of the mill demo, and currently “what am i doing hangin round” hiiiiiii mr michael nesmith i just want to talk

random fact: like about me or in general? umm i have a slight obsession with vexillology and can identify most country flags! and for instance for a few decades until 2011 the libyan flag was entirely green and the only national flag to be only one color. 

describe yourself as aesthetic things: ummm the words of the prophets are written on the subway walls, you know? city stuff, skyscrapers and rattling trains, the current of the river making it lap up against the pier, calloused fingertips and blisters on your ankles, the cold breeze you only feel when you’re near a body of water, the smell of old books (the smell of new books too), old tickets whether it’s for a train or a movie or a show, and converse sneakers. 

i’ll tag @raksheshi @fieryphrazes and @herrlichersonnigertag if you want!

[cattles-bians]

exes au part 11

post directory

obsetress: i'm about to fully fall asleep but i have been thinking about exes au danvi and like the isabel of it all and dani dating a single mom and how just like

obsetress: vi is so protective of isabel and as much as she loves dani like

obsetress: she took SO LONG before introducing her and then like

obsetress: when they broke up dani left and dani wasnt in isabels life anymore and dani was so good for isabel and viola just feels so fuckin shitty and blames herself and

obsetress: but i'm also thinkin bout soft fluffy stuff too like how much dani loves isabel and how much vi loves watching isabel w dani and

em: hey hannah what the fuck

obsetress: isabel has a nightmare one night and goes to her mom's room and dani's there too and she just curls up between them

em: do you think when they finally reconnected dani was like hey um. does isabel remember me. would it be weird if

obsetress: FUCK

obsetress: this absolutely happens

em: viola is VERY apprehensive at first

obsetress: god yeah esp after getting so hurt by it but

obsetress: viola sure cannot say no to dani!

em: i love some dani with kids tho

em: maybe too soft but do u think for at least a couple years dani would like. send isabel a bday card

em: like dead air otherwise

em: hmm idk i am chewing that one over more

obsetress: god it's hard i think dani wants to but she doesn't

obsetress: i could see dani writing them and holding onto them

em: oh that’s even worse

obsetress: even tho she really doesnt think she'll ever talk to vi again

em: what a soft and depressing thought. thank u. i resent u.

obsetress: yeah it hurts!

obsetress: but then she does! and she gives them all to isabel when she's older maybe

em: hold on i’m gonna bawl

em: sometimes my parents will be like um. do u remember this person and i’m like uh i don’t remember people i worked w two years ago let alone

em: but i think isabel does

em: i will be thinking about this all afternoon bestie have a wonderful slumber

[em note: em yells in hannahs DMs while she's asleep dot png]

em: no um. mate im still furious about the isabel of it all wtf

em: thinking about um. like ok i dont wanna use isabel as a prop but this is certainly one of those times where

em: violas been hurt before and viola's hurt other people before because she's deeply troubled and i feel like that would be one of the first times she sorta. sure she licks her wounds and feels miserable for herself but its also like uh

em: really sobering to realise This Hurts Isabel Too

em: because yknow violas very gatekeep gaslight girlboss i think shes got a strong enough sense of self that nothing really shakes that. maybe even to a deluded degree. i dont think she goes to therapy because shes like wow im fucked up i gotta get help, she's more like

em: shes really driven by her love for isabel!! gestures WILDLY

em: realised this is an au where parents get therapy and dont pass their traumas onto their kids and i want OFF this WILD RIDE im so tired of discovering things about myself through the realm of fiction

obsetress: yeah same i kept thinking about it too alfkadlsfkjdasf

obsetress: i want to reply to every single line of the isabel thing but i'm not gonna do that so let me just say: YEAH

obsetress: like isabel is her cornerstone full stop everything comes down to isabel

em: dani's probably so nervous reconnecting w isabel again. absolutely spinning her lil wheels

em: they set up a lil date and time and dani's doing her gay nervous babble abt if isabel even remembers her or god forbid resents her n jamies like...

em: im pursing my lips as i draw a line on the whiteboard between jamie's whole childhood and isabels and shaking my head Goddamn It

em: jamie lets dani babble it out n pauses and reflects on what she's saying n then jamie's like. the fact ur nervous means u care. n kids are v good at picking up when ppl care. you'll be alright.

obsetress: god yeah this bit i can just. hear it

obsetress: it's so visceral

---

em: viola

obsetress: god my favorite taurus hedonist

[em note: hannah yells in em's DMs while em is asleep dot png]

obsetress: god fuck what was i thinking about isabel this morning like

obsetress: that's what i get for daydreamin between snoozes and not writing it down alas

obsetress: but just like how excited isabel is to see dani again when she does and also like, isabel and rebecca

obsetress: then i started thinking about

obsetress: rebecca and vi getting married and vi's always like i'm not gonna get married again it's bullshit and rebecca's like it's not for me but then they just

obsetress: like they live together and they share everything and rebecca looks out for isabel just as much and they get to a point and it's like

obsetress: oh. oh

obsetress: like they're both like it's the logical thing to do. it's logical and it's safe and we should have this extra layer of protection but also it's like

obsetress: they find themselves more and more excited a lil you know? and just thinking about how isabel's there and how excited isabel is and

obsetress: but god yeah what i was thinking about this morning like. one day vi has to tell isabel dani's not gonna be coming around anymore and like

obsetress: isabel doesn't really understand and she's so sad and then vi feels even shittier

obsetress: and she's like "we'll be okay. it's you and me, remember? moving mountains"

obsetress: "you me us, right?"

obsetress: the first time rebecca meets her she brings her a book as a gift and is like "this was one of my favorites" and

obsetress: OH I REMEMBERED

obsetress: so like when dani sees isabel again finally (and yknow as nervous as dani was vi was even more on edge because it's so inconsistent and is she gonna understand yknow? and the two of them just spiral––which is also another thing about the two of them in a relationship! i think they push each other down spirals)

obsetress: jamie's there too and dani's like "this is... this is, uh, jamie" and it's like you said jamie isabel parallels and so jamie's like a lil tender

obsetress: spoiler: isabel and jamie end up bonding the most

obsetress: jamie's like running around with isabel on her shoulders and then showing her all these plants and taking her to gardens and

obsetress: another tentative jamie vi alliance

em: isabel mikey hangout When

obsetress: isabel mikey hangout!

obsetress: they're hanging with isabel and she and jamie have a very spirited discussion where isabel's like "i wanna be a princess" and dani's like "why not a knight?" and jamie's like "why not opt out of the feudalistic hierarchy entirely and ditch the kingdom for the high seas?" and convinces isabel to go full pirate

obsetress: and then isabel kinda passes out with her head in jamie's lap and jamie's just kinda idly playing with her hair (vi is already like "am i... attracted to jamie in this moment?")

obsetress: and jamie's like "y'know, i should bring mikey round next time isabel's here" and viola's like "......who?" and jamie's like "my little brother? mikey?" and viola's like "right.... right"

obsetress: cut to later, when dani and jamie have retired to vi and becca's guest room: "since when does jamie have a little brother?" "she always has, babe"

em: kinda obsessed w like. violas love for isabel means her wires get crossed when the surly gardener is Good With Kids

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: mikey and isabel immediately hit it off i think

obsetress: a bit of an odd couple because i think isabel is definitely, like, her mother's daughter and mikey is............. mikey

obsetress: but i think they meet in the middle and help each other grow and play pirates together

em: viola is like. of course mikey and isabel will get along. isabel is wonderful. but jamie is quietly Sweating about the whole thing

em: so damvibecca are having their afternoon tea and their little cakes and jamie is Quietly sweating and she’s like ‘quiet is good, right? like they’re not tryna k-‘ and then there’s the sound of two 8 year olds (idk how old they are tbh) YELLING as they chase each other down the hall w wrapping paper tubes

obsetress: nervous babbling dani x quietly sweating jamie, an otp

em: isabel has gotten into the make up n given them both black eyes n scars and moustaches n everyone’s like oh no how’s viola gonna feel about this but viola is DELIGHTED

obsetress: dani's like "chill you all she's gonna––" and then viola is getting up and asking them to do her face too

em: made a parrot outta a sock and newspaper

obsetress: viola playing pirates w isabel and mikey

em: kids w their endless creativity n absolute disregard for personal property is truly a thing of dreams

obsetress: mikey gives her a paper tube and she disarms isabel, takes hers, and offers it very seriously to jamie

em: cuteeee

obsetress: rebecca's giving dani a look and dani is completely unfazed and reaching for another tea cake

em: absolutely unflappable dani clayton

em: dani and rebecca sharing a Look like hey have you ever seen her this gleeful

obsetress: there is something very tasty about jamie taylor having a direct hand in making viola so gleeful

em: takes a village!

obsetress: when viola's two big loves are sitting five feet away from them both

em: everyone changes everyone for the better

em: fucken soft ass chat over here

obsetress: everyone changes everyone for the better

obsetress: soft as hell

em: thesis statement everyone likes each other so much (jamie pretends she doesn’t)

obsetress: (jamie pretends she doesn't) (jamie might like everyone the most)

obsetress: viola registers mikey for isabel's school n pays full tuition

em: oh my god

obsetress: jamie is horrified and refuses to accept it and viola waves a hand and is like "too late, deposit's non-refundable"

em: (they carpool)

obsetress: PLEASE

obsetress: oh god and like

obsetress: flora and miles go there too

obsetress: full circle complete

em: broke: highschool au woke: guardians of primary schoolers au

obsetress: dani jamie in bed jamie's like "you don't...... think it's weird?" "hmm?" "mikey going to.... school with our boss' kids?" "why would that be weird" "i dunno" "he also goes to school with my ex's kid" "he's best friends with your ex's kid" "and that's not weird, is it?" (grumbles) "not anymore" "so why would this be?"

em: jamie’s ribbing mikey for his silly tie and straw hat but she teaches him how to tie a tie and also she keeps crying for some reason???

obsetress: oh fuck

em: mikey: can’t i just get a fake tie >:/

jamie: no because when u have a real tie you can leave it untied a little as an act of rebellion

obsetress: god it's jamie crying for me

em: i love that big baby

obsetress: so much!

em: jamies like idk what’s gotten into me i never cry n danis like. raises one eye brow and mentally checks off all the times jamie has absolutely bawled watching a movie

em: not even a sad movie

em: dani plays along

em: maybe ur getting soft in ur old age jamie

obsetress: jamie i cry three four times a day five if i'm being honest taylor

em: thinking about their weekly weekend lunch w damvibecca and hannah and owen and miles and flora and

obsetress: dfjsldkfjslfslfj

obsetress: god big found family

obsetress: you know viola doesn't like

obsetress: dani and jamie respectfully toe around whatever the fuck owen and hannah have going on but viola just does not suffer it. she's so blunt to them

em: big viola grin and all ‘owen, hannah, i assume you will be each other’s dates?’ (owen chokes on his tiny egg sandwich)

em: hannah grose is serene and unreadable as she dabs a bit off yolk off owens moustache

em: maybe even a bit pleased

obsetress: everyone is always so tense when viola and hannah get together because neither of them take shit yknow

obsetress: and everyone's like "which way is this gonna go"

em: god. peak snarky broads

obsetress: but usually they end up good. two apex predators where one is a lil vicious but the other is so confident in its status that it just chills

em: they have the Best gossip

obsetress: would love to sit in and listen as they drink tea and gossip tbh

em: viola presses owen on hannah and he goes red and viola presses hannah on owen and she does a little wouldnt-you-like-to-know into her tea

em: viola nee willoughby and hannah grose friendship is. truly something i never knew i needed until now

em: they’re both just that lil bit older than the rest of the gang too

obsetress: an important coalition

obsetress: hannah grose! hannah looking out for rebecca and that's the couple times she gets a lil testy w vi

obsetress: mikey and isabel besties but flora and mikey get along really well and isabel and miles do too i think

em: the sheer chaos of a taylor-lloyd-windgrave story time

obsetress: LDKFjKLSDJF HELP

obsetress: taylor lloyd wingrave story time

obsetress: jamie suddenly very invested in story time

obsetress: dani's like "i know this is the first time you've actually cared about story time, babe, so let me give you some pointers"

em: i was just in my head thinking fondly about like. jamie is a drop out and plays a lil dumb sometimes for fun but also prolly reads a lot especially to mikey and now i’m like. wait i’m talking to Ms Floras Two Moms herself

em: idk if i had that headcanon before i read she taught me a lesson alright but yknow what! doesn’t matter it’s a beautiful one

obsetress: thank youuuu i love it a lot

obsetress: jamie big reader is generally one of my fave headcanons tbh i'm glad it seems to be widely accepted. can't even explain why it's just nice

em: sometimes i will talk 2 ppl about my passionate drop out jamie taylor belief n then they’re like but she’s smart (it’s only happened a couple times hahsj) and i’m like these aren’t mutually exclusive!! this is my very biased experience but my friends who do manual labor for a living seem to read so much more than my friends who don’t

em: your brain wants to chew over things while the hands are workin i reckon

obsetress: yes yes yes yes yes

obsetress: i think that's also like (sighs heavily)

obsetress: symptomatic of hegemonic perceptions of the working class

em: i love when u sigh heavily it’s always a fun take

obsetress: i think jamie is v clever and reflective and like if there's one thing i've learned getting older it's

obsetress: smart doesn't matter i think the most insightful most thoughtful people are the most reflective ones

obsetress: like none of it fuckin matters just be a nice person

[hollyxqx]

LOVER, LEAVER  //  JIMIN  //  04

↪ PAIRING: Reader/Park Jimin (initally reader/Jungkook) ↪ SUMMARY: There’s only so much cheating you can take from your boyfriend when he’s on tour before you take matters in to your own hands. ↪ WORD COUNT: 8.4k

↪ WARNINGS: mentions of addiction/drugs | smut w/ premature ejaculation lol | there’s a DUI (don’t yell at me these are the laws where i live) | angsty people being messy

01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | FINAL

Namjoon has become a semi-permanent feature around the apartment lately. It's a good thing, even if at times there's an awkward passing of each other in the hallway or moments of slightly uncomfortable silence.

There's been no apologies exchanged between the two of you since whatever that was one month ago in Hyerin's living room. Not that you wanted to give one or particularly receive one, but you would settle for the stiff politeness you exchange for Hyerin's benefit.  He was meeting you halfway, effort equal to yours.

Not much else had changed in those thirty days, aside from your renewed contact with Jimin. It's tentative, hesitant, almost shy even like you don't know each other as well as you do but it's truly a welcome intrusion into your days. Perhaps Jimin's slowness is because he doesn't want to scare you away again.

The topic of Jungkook has yet to come up. You feel as if it's inevitable and dread it.

Jungkook is on your mind nearly daily, whether you like it or not. Since the night Hyerin had told you he was in one of the most inebriated states of his life he had barely been in contact with any one of his regular group of friends, occasionally you'd hear dribbles from Hyerin that he was okay but you were familiar with this pattern. You were worried. An underlying sense of doom twisted your insides whenever his face appeared in your thoughts.

You're not made of stone, even if you wish you were. Two years of affection don't vanish in the blink of an eye, and you always will want him to be happy. He might be telling his friends he's doing (and Hyerin quoted) fucking amazingly right now, but you know that's a lie he's telling himself.

When you see Hyerin for the first time that day you practically all but squeal with excitement, her tiny bump protrudes her slim figure now, nearly five months gone. It's been a few days since you'd last seen her in person and you swear she's grown already. She walks slowly into your shared place after staying with Namjoon for the last few days. He follows behind her.

The first thing you do is bombard her in the doorway, hands instantly going straight to her bump. "God y/n, you're obsessed." She laughs, playfully annoyed but her hand joins yours when there's a flutter as the baby rolls as you coo.

"I swear you've literally grown in the last 5 or whatever days." You tell her, marvelling at her stomach. It's the first time a close friend of yours has been with child and keeping up with her progress has been exciting.

"Well, all we mostly did was eat, didn't we?." She looks to Namjoon who nods silently. "That might be me growing, not baby."

They come inside and you make yourself scarce, disappearing to your own room to give them some space, and well, avoid Namjoon.

Lately much of your time has been spent looking for graduate work. It's unfulfilling and you've yet to find anything substantial but it keeps you occupied. You sit at your laptop and scroll endlessly. Eventually your eyes start to burn and water with the strain of staring at a bright screen to long, followed by an accompanying rumble of your stomach, which means it's definitely time for a break.

You open your bedroom door and listen for a few minutes. It's silent which means you'll likely be undisturbed. The faint sound of a television can be heard but you're sure it must be the one in Hyerin's room, so you head to the kitchen.

As you pass the living area you see Hyerin sleeping on the sofa, head resting on Namjoon's shoulder while his arm drapes lazily over her. You can only see the back of his head so you have no idea if he is awake or not. You don't hang around to find out.

The kitchen is pretty bare these days since your roommate has entered the nausea phase of her pregnancy and is still deciding what makes her sick and what doesn't. You settle for toast. It's not exciting but it's quick.

"Y/n?"

You look to the sound of your name, surprised to find Namjoon standing behind you. He looks as uncomfortable as you feel. "Hey..." You saw slowly. You sound awkward trying to pretend to be chill. "Um. Do you want some food?"

"No." He says. "Thanks."

The silence hangs like a lead weight. You silently scream at him just go away, neither of us wants this!

"I wanted to," He begins. Then coughs. You wait. His eyes look at anything but you when he tries again. "I wanted to apologise to you."

Oh. You're not sure if this is much better than the awkward silence. "That's alright, honestly." You dismiss.

"It isn't. I've been thinking a lot about what you said." He stuffs his hands in his pockets and stares at his shoes. You feel like you're on a hidden camera show or something. You've never seen him act like this before. He's practically shy at this point. "About this baby not wanting me."

"Namjoon," You sigh. "I didn't mean it. I'm sorry, I was just upset and feeling protective about my friend."

"No, that's not what I mean." He shakes his head. "You did mean it. But it's okay, I fuckin' need to hear it."

You just stare silently at him.

"I mean, you could have said it a bit more kindly." He jokes, trying to relieve the tension. You offer him a small smile. "The sentiment was true, and I had never thought about it like that until you laid that truth bomb on me."

"Oh." You hear yourself say.

"I had a dad who didn't give a fuck about me, y'know?" He scratches the back of his neck and looks away. You could swear he was blushing. "Didn't want me and bailed on mom the second he could. If he were to come into my life now, I'd tell him to get lost. Hated that guy my whole life, yknow. I don't want a kid to feel that way about me, ever. Wasting their entire life resenting me." He takes a deep breath. "I just wanted to say thanks, I guess."

You guess your words were part of the impact on the recent change in his behaviour. You hadn't intended them to be but you're glad they did. The toast you were making pops and both you and Namjoon jump a little.

"You don't have to thank me." You leave the bread where it is. "I'm sorry I was so rude about it."

"I'm sorry I called you a bitch."

"I kind of was."

You both laugh a little.  Tension relieves slightly and the awkwardness isn't as palpable anymore.

"Things are going well," He states, referring to Hyerin. "I don't know what's going to happen with me and her, but I'll be here for that kid no matter what, which I guess is the important thing."

"This might sound insincere and I promise it isn't, but I think that's really honourable of you Namjoon."

He shrugs the compliment off, but looks a little happy nonetheless. "Anyway, I'll leave you to your food."

Just as he's about to leave you want to take advantage of the moment and ask about Jungkook. You call out to him and he freezes looking at you expectantly. You almost bottle it and lose your nerve. "Is...is Jungkook okay?"

His entire face changes, expression unreadable. "He's alive, if that's what you mean."

"That's not what I mean."

"Y/n," He lets out a long breath. "No. No he's not okay."

"Is there anything I can do?" God, you feel so guilty and so helpless.

"I don't think there's anything any of us can do right now." Namjoon says sadly. "You can't help someone who won't help themselves."

On that note, he leaves the room.

***

The latest job interview feels like it went well, but so did the last three. You don't pin any hope on it as you walk to the subway, portfolio under one arm, empty paper coffee cup in the other. It gets tossed in the bin at the station. You learned your lesson the first few times; don't get too excited. Although it's hard not to when you want something so badly and it feels within your grasp.

At this point you don't mind working for free, you still have your job at the restaurant. Some money for your hard earned degree wouldn't be unwelcome however.

You sit on the platform waiting for your train, feeling uncomfortable in your outfit. It's very corporate - heels, pencil skirt, blouse. Not very you at all but the interviews require it. According to the electronic information board your train will be here in 4 minutes. Your leg shakes impatiently.

You happen to turn your head at the exact moment Jimin steps on to the platform. His painting studio is nearby which you conveniently forgot, it makes sense for him to be here. You're the one on strange territory, not him. Still, it's a shock to the system. It's been three months since you've seen him in person. His hair is darker, the sandy blonde gone and he's a little leaner; but it's Jimin.

He spots you and slows down momentarily. He's as surprised as you are.

"Hey." He breathes when he reaches you.

"Hi." You smile.

He gestures to your portfolio with a nod of his head. "How'd it go?" Earlier you'd told him through text your plan for that day.

"We'll see." You say as you shrug. "I don't want to get my hopes up."

"Don't worry, I'm sure it went well." He assures with a warm smile. You think he looks as good as ever. "Are you headed home?"

"Yeah." You say. "I can't wait to get out of these clothes. I'm done being secretary barbie for today."

Jimin laughs. "I kind of like it." You give him a sceptical look. "What?" He grins, shooting his best innocent glance. You shake your head. "Listen, y/n, do you want to grab a cup of coffee?"

"Now?"

He nods.

You have nothing better to do, so you agree.

***

It's not strange being with Jimin like this. Which is strange in itself. You anticipated some awkward tension after so many things were unsaid, uncertain and unclear but there was none. He was just Jimin. The same sweet, kind man you'd met two years ago, let into your bed and then proceeded to break his heart. You're not sure if he's selfless or just a glutton for punishment.

He tells you work is great, better than it's ever been which makes you happy. He's talented so it's not a shock but a welcome surprise. He's recently moved to a bigger apartment that he loves. He even thinks he's ready for a pet, although you're sure that last part is said slightly in jest.

You fill him in a little more on your life, texts exchanged you can only say so much. Jimin gets an update on Hyerin which makes him smile. You tell him about Namjoon -  the argument and subsequent apology. The only topic left is Jungkook. It feels like Jimin senses it too because a tension seems to form.

"So..." He says.

"So." You mimic.

He licks his lips. "How is everything...else? Are you still single?"

"Yes, I am." You almost want to laugh at the way he asks the question.

"Me too."

"Are you prying about Jungkook?" You tease.

"Kinda." He laughs. "I didn't know how to bring it up since we were having a good time."

"It's ok." You offer him an encouraging smile. "I haven't seen or heard from him. You?"

"Actually yeah." says Jimin. You raise a brow in surprise. That was unexpected. "A few texts here and there that are erratic to say the least. Sometimes he hates me, sometimes he's sorry. It's kind of worrying actually."

"Namjoon kind of alluded to the same sort of thing. He's worried too."

Jimin nods solemnly. "I always try to reply as best I can, just so if something - touch wood - bad, happens Jungkook knows that door of communication is still open. But he never really responds to me. Just texted more incoherent thoughts." He lets out a long sigh. "Even though we were both shitty friends to each other, I've known him too many years. I have to be there for him no matter what."

A few moments of contemplative silence pass. The coffee shop is rather quiet at the moment, the only other people in the small cafe is a teenager, nose buried in a laptop and a couple in the corner. The boy has shaggy black hair, and is holding onto his girl like she's a prized possession. Sadly, it reminds you of Jungkook during happier times, he always was a little possessive but in a charming way that made your heart swell when you saw him.

You're not entirely sure what to make of the information you've just received. At the very, very, very least, you're glad that Jimin is still there for his friend regardless.

"In spite of all that I'm glad we ran into each other today." You say as lightly as possible. It makes Jimin smile.

"I am also. I've wanted to ask you to meet up so many times but I knew you wanted space." He blushes a little. "I'm glad fate intervened."

"I think it was better this way, actually."

You finish your coffees and Jimin walks you home. His arm occasionally brushes against yours as you walk. When you reach your building the two of you pause in front of it. You wonder if he's going to kiss you and it makes your heart thud wildly. The jury's still out on whether you even want that or not.

"Thanks for walking me home."

"No problem."

He stares at you for a beat. "Can we do this again?"

"Coffee? Uh sure." You reply, slightly confused. He shakes his head.

"No. Or yeah, whatever you want. I just want to see you again. Maybe...like a date?" He gives you such a hopeful yet promising look that's so endearing it almost physically hurts. You open your mouth to reply and as if he anticipates that your about to refuse him he hurries out, "We can take it really slow. No pressure. Just spending time together."

"Alright," You agree, softening. "I'd like that."

Jimin leaves, looking as if he just won a prize of his own.

***

You smile as you remove your jacket and shoes at the front door, mind still entirely occupied with thoughts of Jimin. Your quickly brought back to earth by the voices of Namjoon and Hyerin. At first glance it doesn't appear as if they're arguing but one look at Hyerin's face and you can see something is most definitely up.

"Hey..." You begin cautiously, looking between them.

"Hi." Hyerin strains a smile. "I expected you much earlier. How'd it go?"

She means the interview. "Good I think." You look hesitantly at Namjoon. "I ended up bumping into Jimin, actually."

You wait for judgement to pass across his face but he remains stoically blank. Thank god.

"Oh," Hyerin seems surprised. "Ok."

"What's going on? There's a weird mood in here guys." You ask after a tense moment and silence.

"Jungkook." Namjoon answers with a sigh. You tense immediately.

"What's happened?" You ask, fearing the worst.

Namjoon shakes his head. "He keeps showing up to recording sessions drunk. Or worse. I'm worried."

You're worried too.

***

Inexplicably, the first official date with Jimin is a little awkward. Which is odd, because the accidental crossing of paths a week earlier wasn't in the slightest. Maybe it's because it's officially labelled as a date now, you don't know. Either way, you know he feels it too, stretched silences drawing on a little too long between you.

At the end of the night you allow him to kiss you. It's brief but familiar. You knew you missed the physical side of a romantic relationship but kissing him showed you just how much. As you lay in bed that night, the sensation of the kiss not entirely gone yet, you have to sternly remind yourself that you're taking it slow. You're too used to giving into your desires when you're around him.

The second date is far better, both of you overcome whatever hurdle caused the uncomfortableness in the first one. Jimin treats you to an over priced but amazing meal at a top end restaurant. It feels so grown up, you're not used to dates like this. Jungkook was the first real boyfriend you'd ever had, and his dating style was a lot more casual.

You never exactly had an official first date with Jungkook. Most of the time you spent together involved getting naked together in his apartment enough times that you became a couple. Sure, you went out together but it was mostly to parties or bars. That's just who he was and you accepted that.

The third date Jimin brings you to his art studio. It's an unusual setting for a date, but you go along with it when Jimin promises there's a surprise in store. His eyes twinkle and you can't help but feel a little excitement spark in you. It's an intimate, private piece of him to share with you and it feels special. Different.

His studio is where he does his creating. It's a reasonably large white space that's littered with paint splashes, tarp that protects most of the floor, and works in progress propped up on easels. Although Jimin looks out of place now dressed smartly in slacks and a button up shirt, you can completely imagine him hard at work in here.

"Stop being so coy," You whine impatiently and Jimin chuckles as he strides determinedly across the vast space. You watch, unsure what you're allowed to touch or not touch. "I like surprises but I'm too impatient for the suspense."

"Well, you're just going to have to deal with it." He informs you, before disappearing inside a door on the opposite side of the room.

You gaze around the room as you wait for him to return, absorbing all the visible artwork. There's a lot of rustling before the sound of a crash resonates and Jimin swears.

He truly is talented. No wonder he's been so successful as of late. Your eyes land on a particular work. It's a brightly coloured butterfly, except it's done in watercolour and he's allowed the rainbow paint to drip and run down the canvas. It's beautiful and you wonder why he hasn't sold it yet. An egotistical part of you speculates that it might be inspired by you, given the affectionate nickname he has for you.

When Jimin returns he's holding a canvas against his body but the painted side is facing away from you. You wonder what on earth he's up to.

"Sit." He instructs, pointing to the chrome stool at his desk. You give him a puzzled look but comply anyway. "Close your eyes."

"Jimin - "

"Shush. Now close your eyes."

You sigh and do as he asked, clasping your hands in your lap whilst simultaneously feeling a little ridiculous. There's some shuffling and scraping of metal on the floor and even with your eyes closed you can sense that he's switched some of the lights off. "What are you up to Jiminie?" You ponder aloud.

"You'll see."

You sense some movement behind you and you can tell Jimin is close to you. His hands rest on your shoulders as he leans down to whisper, hot breath ghosting against the shell of your ear. "Okay. Open your eyes butterfly."

You're met with an image that sucks the air out of your lungs. It's you. Jimin has painted you.

Except it's not you. Not regular, every day, flesh and blood you. Painting you is bold and vibrant, he's captured you in a way you've never viewed yourself. The image is clearly based on your face, except you appear more like some mythical fairy. There's flowers woven into your flowing hair that's much longer than yours, covering your naked chest. The only colours on the canvas are red and some pink.

"Jimin..." You begin, attempting to search for the right words that convey just how overwhelmed you feel. His eyes bore into you expectantly. "This is incredible. You're so talented! It's me right?"

He laughs. "Of course its you."

"You made me look beautiful, I almost didn't recognise myself." You admit, blushing. "No one has ever done anything like this for me before. Why did you paint this?"

"You've kind of been a muse to me for a while now." He confesses.

"A muse? Me?"

He nods. "Yeah...it's kind of embarrassing. Ever since the first time we met you've always been a source of inspiration. So thank you, I guess."

"Why me?" You blurt. "I'm just so ordinary, I wish I looked like this." You gesture to the canvas.

"It's more than just how you look, you know. You're beautiful, of course, but you're strong and tough yet still somehow soft enough to be kind, even when people don't deserve it. Not all strong people have that in them y/n but you do."

"I don't know what to say." You whisper, swivelling round to face him.

"That's why I chose the colours I did. Red for the passion and fire within you, and pink because you're sensitive and compassionate. I felt that it suited you."

"I don't deserve you, Park Jimin." You tell him as you pull him in for a kiss. "You might be the sweetest boy I've ever met."

"You do deserve me."

He kisses you fiercely, cupping your face with his hands. The angle is a bit uncomfortable as you're still sitting whilst he's standing but you don't care. The rush of affection you feel for him right now is the only thing on your mind.

"I love the painting." You breathe against his lips. "Thank you."

You separate, albeit reluctantly but he locks your hands together.  "This is my one creation I won't ever sell. I'm going to hang it somewhere, maybe my gallery so everyone can see it. I just needed the inspirations approval first." He smiles.

"You more than have it. I'm so lucky I have someone so talented in my life."

Standing now you lock arms around his neck and kiss him slower and deeper than before. Jimin's hand at the small of your back presses you flush against him. His hand slides lower and lower until he's giving the plump flesh of your ass a rough squeeze. It's too easy to get carried away and you badly want him to take you then and there.

He groans pulling away, biting your lip as he does so. "Taking it slow, yeah?" He asks breathlessly. "Does that mean no sex right away?"

"That's probably for the best..." You can't help but kiss him again. You remember how good it felt and it takes everything not to say fuck me against the wall. "There's time."

He presses his forehead against yours and smiles. "Whatever you want, butterfly."

***

Hyerin is at the point of her pregnancy now where her maternity leave has began and days are spent nesting and preparing for the upcoming baby. Preparations unfortunately (and sadly, for you) include her moving into Namjoon's apartment with him. This means two things. One; things are still on a good track for the couple and you're glad and two; you now need to find a roommate, short of getting a fabulously paying job within the next few days.

The painful silence on the employment front is enough to make you uneasy but you're always sure to wear a brave for your friend. She has enough to worry about, you think, and you know the decision to move out wasn't done lightly or with malice either. Hyerin even offered to help you find a new roommate but you waved her off. Read: enough to worry about.

You continue with the job search and fruitless interviews and plough forward, facing no other choice. On the last day Hyerin and you will be living together you both agree to go shopping together. She needs a few more items for the baby and you well, you need a distraction from life for a few hours.

Aimlessly you stroll around a mall that's a forty minute drive away, Hyerin's recommendation because she wanted somewhere with aircon since lately she's been uncomfortable almost all the time. Even though she complains multiple times about her size on the journey you still she thinks she looks great.

She shows you pictures of the newly decorated nursery and your heart warms. Hyerin doesn't have to verbalise it outright, you know she's extremely excited. When you enter a baby clothing store she's cooing and aw'ing over every tiny item and ends up buying more than she wanted to. She looks at you at the checkout and shrugs, as if to say oh well.

"How's Jimin...?" She asks coyly, peering at you out of the corner of her eye. You hold the door for the makeup store open for her and she waddles through. She's aware you've been seeing him, but neither of you have had much time to catch up on details.

"Good. Great." You can't help the smile that stretches your lips.

"You're happy." She informs you and you nod. "I wouldn't put you two together but now that i've seen you with him, it makes sense you know."

"I like him." You cock your head. A year ago you might agreed with her but the more time you spend with him the more you enjoy his company.

"I've never spent much time with him, but I trust your judgement. Would it be strange for the four of us to spend time together?" She hums, swatching a lipstick on the back of her palm, before frowning at the color.

Your stomach twists at the thought. "Maybe in ten years when everyone's forgotten what I've done." You joke. "Namjoon is Jungkook's bestfriend. I wouldn't want him to be uncomfortable."

"It's a shame you started like that."

"Nothing's official."

"Yet." She counters.

You offer a non-committal hum, still unsure if that is exactly the route you want to go down with Jimin. It's easy now, just to see where it goes and take things slowly.

Bored of shopping and after only buying one dress for yourself (that you weren't particularly excited about, but felt the urge to treat yourself regardless) the two of you make the mutual decision to grab a bite to eat. You're more than happy to let Hyerin choose the venue.

She scrolls lazily through her phone while you wait for the food to arrive. You have a text from Jimin sent forty five minutes earlier telling you to have a nice day and you smile at your phone, warmth radiating in your chest.

"Oh my God."

You look up at Hyerin's voice. She has a hand over her mouth and her eyes are wide as she stares at the screen. Instantly you know something is wrong. Fear immediately prickles at your skin, anticipating a problem with the baby.

"What?" Panic is at the edge of your voice. "What's wrong?"

She hesitates and it only serves to worry you further. "I hate that I am the one to show you this but..." Nothing more is said when she slides her phone across the table to you. Frowning you squint at the device, open to a webpage.

Jungkook has been arrested.

Time feels completely frozen as you scroll, reading as fast as your eyes will allow. Your heartbeat is thrumming, uncomfortable and loud in your ears as you try and absorb as much of the information as the article had written. In the middle of the page their was a tacky tabloid picture of him being roughly escorted by police, hands linked behind his back with cuffs. It's even more unfortunate that this was such a public affair.

You swear under your breath at the reason he's in this position, the glaring words taunting you. Drunk driving and disorderly behaviour.

"Are you ok y/n?" Hyerin asks cautiously.

"No." A hot tear splashes on her phone and you wipe it away quickly. "This is bad. It says he's in hospital. Right there at the bottom."

"What for?"

"Apparently he caused an accident and ended up injured. It doesn't give details."

You share a look across the table of fear mixed with worry. Silently you slide her phone back to her. You had anticipated something bad happening as a result of his drinking but not this. Jungkook was a public figure and it pained you to see him immortalised like this. It pained you to know he had taken his recklessness to a new level. It pained you that all of this was happening.

"Let's eat quickly and then go home. I'll call Namjoon and see if there's anything we can do." You friend tells you gently, knowing you well enough to know you won't be able to sit still for the rest of the day. Maybe there was nothing you could do but you could try.

***

"He asked for you."

You stare at Namjoon, astonished. Those were the last words you expected to leave his lips. Standing at your doorway, looking as worried as you felt he patiently waited for your reaction.

"He hates me." The first thought that enters your mind slips out before you can stop it. Namjoon shrugs.

"I'm just the messenger."

Everything about this feels like a bad idea. Your entire body tenses, as if on high alert. Jungkook wants to see you. He could have called you but he didn't, which makes you feel apprehensive. He wants a face to face, which to you, feels like a horrible scenario waiting to be played out. The last time you met in person did not go well.

"I'm on my way now, if you want to join me." Namjoon jingles his car keys at you for emphasis. The idea of not being entirely alone with Jungkook feels slightly more tolerable.

"Fine." You offer reluctantly. He spares you a few minutes to get ready and gather your things before the two of you head to the hospital together.

When you had phoned Jimin a few days prior to share the news it was no surprise to you that he was already aware. You wondered if he had been to visit Jungkook or had plans to, or if Jungkook even wanted that. You don't voice this aloud to Namjoon.

It's mostly quiet in the car and you stare out the window, hoping Namjoon doesn't feel uncomfortable. There's no tension between you anymore but you're not exactly best buds forever. He puts the radio on and you're thankful it eases the silence.

"What do you think about rehab?" You ask, still looking out the window. "For 'Kook. Do you think he needs it?" You clarify.

"I would love it if he went." Namjoon sighs, out of the corner of your eye he grips the wheel a little tighter. "Maybe this will be a wake-up call for him."

Hyerin had told you that Namjoon had been completely sober since they had agreed to try and be together for the sake of their unborn child. It had surprised you to an extent but Namjoon had never been as bad as Jungkook, never appeared as if anything was a problem (not infront of you anyway) and apparently he had no issue maintaining a sober life these days. Jungkook always did do everything better than everyone else.

Anticipation brings a slight tremble to your body as you trail behind Namjoon on your way to Jungkook's hospital suite. He agrees to go in first to tell Jungkook you're here. Your knee shakes when you sit on one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs outside the room.

Every second that passes as you wait feels achingly slow. The low voices of the two men rumble through the thin wall but you can't make out exactly what is being said. You're not sure if you want to. Maybe you could run, it's not too late.

The door clicks open and Namjoon gestures for you to go inside. He doesn't follow.

Jungkook lies in a white bed in the center of the room, propped up on a few large soft pillows. The first thing you think when your eyes land on him is that he doesn't look good. He's thinner and bruised from the accident. "Hi." You whisper for some reason. The room feels too quiet.

"Hey, come sit." He croaks hoarsely, gesturing to a chair next to the bed. His eyes follow you as you cross the room and you feel awkward.

You don't know where to start. "How are you?" It feels redundant but it's the best you've got.

"Battered n' bruised." He smiles but it's clearly forced. "Thanks for coming."

"I was surprised you asked for me. But I'm glad you're okay. Pictures of your car were online. It looked wrecked."

He shrugs. "It's worse than it looks. Modern cars are actually pretty safe. Just a few broken ribs but I'm golden."

Jungkook rubs tiredly at his face, stifling a yawn. There's a new tattoo on his hand. You wonder if there's more. "Don't take this the wrong way but I thought you would be in jail."

"I was injured so they took me here. I have a trial in a few weeks. Probably will just get a DUI." He explains. "I'm sorry we had to meet like this but I've wanted to for a long time. Thought you'd take pity on me and visit."

"It's not pity that brings me here. " You say quietly. He's staring at you so intently you can't meet his gaze for much longer and opt to stare at your lap. "I care."

Jungkook reaches for your hand. Confused, you go to take it but stop for a moment. There's undeniable injection sites in between the blue black ink of his tattoos. He's been shooting up. What you don't know exactly but you know taking anything intravenously means things are bad. You take his hand, albeit shakily. You say nothing about what you noticed.

"I'm in trouble baby." He says. You've never heard him sound so vulnerable before. Your heart positively aches in your chest. "I'm in so much trouble."

"What's going on with you Kook?" You press, squeezing his hand.

"I think I'm out of control." To your complete and utter despair he blinks away a few tears. "I could have killed someone just because I wanted to get fucked up."

"You've always liked to get drunk Kookie..." You say joylessly.

"I don't know when it went from getting drunk to have fun and this. It's not fun anymore."

"It was so stupid of you. So stupid." You sigh. "You are better than that."

"I want to be."

He's gripping your hand so tightly, so desperately you die a little inside. He's broken.  "You can get help, there's professionals who are trained to help people exactly like you. All you need to do is take it."

"I want to." He whispers.

"Do it." You are almost begging. "Just. Do. It."

"I'll get Hoseok to look into it for me. Take some time off and sort my head out." He offers you another smile but it's somber. You hope more than anything his words are genuine. Not much else is said between you, other than you offering whatever support and reinforcement you can give.

You hold his hand until you leave, kissing him on the forehead before you go.

***

Jimin strokes your hair absent-mindedly as you lay together in his bed. Your head rests on his chest as you scroll through your phone whilst he watches television. It's so sickeningly domestic, it surprises you how much you enjoy it. You find yourself googling rehab centre's in the area for Jungkook. It's not much but you want to help.

Something Jimin's watching makes him laugh and you peer up at him. "I love this show." He smiles when he notices you looking at him. "You should watch it with me."

"Yeah, in a minute." You mumble, going back to your device. You're composing a few links to send to Hoseok, even though as Jungkook's manager he is fully capable of doing it himself you just want to ensure Jungkook has the opportunity to consider all the options possible.

"What are you doing?" He asks. "It must be important to have captured your attention like this. Job searching?"

"No. I'm looking at rehab places for Jungkook."

"Oh." Jimin replies quietly. He understands why when you explain to him that you went to visit Jungkook. There's an arduous history that comes along with dating you, he knows that. In an ideal world, there wouldn't be but you think he likes you enough to put up with it. You hope. "That's nice of you."

"It's the least I can do. I'm giving Hoseok a list and then I'm all yours, babe. Hold on."

With a heavy sigh you put your phone on his nightstand and snuggle into him a little more. You hook one of your legs around his waist, as if you can't be close enough to him. His hand grips your thigh and holds it there. "Do you want to stay tonight?" He hums. Since you've rekindled things you've yet to actually spend the night together. Tonight you don't want to be alone.

"Please." You reply.

Sensing you might need it, Jimin swoops in for a kiss. Having not had sex yet every time you kiss lately it seems to get real dirty real fast. Neither of you show much self restriction now. It's almost too easy to slide over so you're lying on top of him, knees pressed into the mattress either side of his narrow hips. His hands grip your ass outside of your clothes, encouraging you to grind against him. It doesn't take him long to get hard from this.

Somewhere in the back of your mind you wonder if you're the last girl he's been intimate with. A possessive part of you hopes so but the thought goes as quickly as it comes.

Jimin has been so patient with you, so it's your turn to take the lead and let him know you're ready now. Breaking away from his lips you sit up, crossing your arms across your torso, pulling your shirt up and over you head. He watches you, dreamy and glassy-eyed as if he can't quite believe what's happening.

"You sure?" He breathes, eyes drinking in your newly exposed chest.

"Positive."

Resuming the kiss, his hands explore your body, feeling every inch of you. He quickly snaps your bra off and you help him slide it down your arms. You whine when his hands cup your breasts, thumbs grazing your nipples. You're extra sensitive there anyway but going a long time without being touched only heightens the sensations. Jimin keens at your reaction and grins against your lips.

"Mm, you like this." He whispers, tweaking one of the hardened buds. You only moan your agreement, rutting against him. Feeling how hard he is against you only makes your stomach lurch with arousal.

"Touch me Jimin, do anything you want. I've missed this." You tell him desperately, already feeling a little light headed.

"Fuck," He says wet mouth against your neck as his hands slide underneath the back of your leggings. "Take these off."

You roll on to your back and quickly wiggle the clothing down your hips while Jimin whips his own shirt off. He's on you in an instant, using his hips to push your legs apart. You're barely focusing on his sloppy kisses over your chest because you're too busy trying to get his pants off. He laughs at your failed attempt and his breath tickles.

"Get naked." You demand. "We've waited long enough."

The belt he's wearing slides through the loops on his pants and hits the floor with a thud. Briefly he stands to kick off his jeans and you can't help but ogle the outline of his hardness through the tight grey boxers slung low on his hips. Naked skin on skin makes you feel almost drunk when he's back in your arms. His body is warm and familiar and god, so soft you melt into him easily.

You're hot all over from his touch. His hands consume your body as if it's the first time he's every touched you and wants to explore everywhere.

The time for teasing can wait. You're already gripping his impossibly hard length underneath the material of his underwear, slowly stroking him up and down. He hisses at the contact.

"Do I need a condom?" Somehow there's still a rational part of his brain functioning right now, despite the handjob. Truth be told, you'd forgot that little detail.

"No, tested right after Jungkook."

"I'm still clean." Jimin assures you.

"Good."

He slides down the bed, ungracefully struggling out of his underwear. You bite back a laugh. He's adorable. "Can I eat you out first?" He pleads, already hovering dangerously close to your cunt. You agree eagerly. His beautiful mouth was always fantastic between your thighs.

Jimin's tongue drags through your wet lower lips from top to bottom and you shudder involuntarily. Lately you've been so busy you don't even remember the last time you'd masturbated so his touch is nearly overwhelming. It takes a few cursory experimental licks before he finds his rhythm again. You fist is hair keeping his head firmly in place so you can roll your hips against his face.

He pulls away so quickly you think somethings wrong. "Jimin - "

" - I need to be inside you, now. The friction of my cock against the bedsheets was already getting too much." He laughs, crawling over you. His cock slides against your dripping, now aching, pussy and you groan. "I haven't had sex since you." He whispers, face hovering over yours.

Your hands grip his shoulders while he glides into you. The stretch is a little much at first and he stills for a minute, watching your face for any reactions after seeing you wince. "Okay?" He murmurs, nosing your cheek and peppering a few kisses across your skin.

"Okay." You repeat. "Fuck me." You whisper running a thumb over his plush lip. You can't help but gaze at his face, eyes blown out. He's gorgeous in such a delicate yet sexy way. "Please."

He slowly begins to move his hips, in and out, in and out, in and out and your eyes flutter shut with pleasure. All you were thinking about was how perfect he feels. Your legs fall open a little wider and your back arches against the bed. "Yes, Jimin - right there - god."

His breath is hot against your skin from exertion. He feels so good, filling you up like this. The more he works his hips the better the stretch is. You claw at his ass, encouraging him to go harder.

"Oh, shit, shitshitshit." He moans loudly, driving into you forcefully. He stops for a moment and you look at him, expecting him to rearrange your position or maybe he wants something different. His eyes are tightly screwed shut and his head hangs, as if he's in pain.

"...Jimin?"

"I'm sorry."

You're lost. What is he sorry for? Then it dawns on you.

"Did you just - "

"Yeah."

He's embarrassed and he avoids your gaze. This has never happened to you before, you've heard the stories of guys coming too quickly but thankfully had never experienced it. Until now. You try not to look too upset at the loss of an orgasm tonight because you can already see how annoyed with himself Jimin is. "I'm sorry, it's been a while and you felt so good...and yeah. Fuck this is embarrassing."

His now softening cock slips out of you and you can feel the tell tale sign of his release being to leak out. "Hey," You pull him down to you, and reassuringly kiss him. These things happen. You hadn't expected to last long either. "It's okay. Don't worry about it, next time will be better."

"I wanted our next first time to be unbelievable." He shakes his head, burying it into the crook of your neck with a frustrated groan. "Let me at least make it up to you now."

He props himself up on his left elbow as his right hand makes it's way down your body, over your bellybutton and straight to your neglected center. Languidly circling your clit with the pads of his forefinger and index you sigh in pleasure. "Do you want my mouth, butterfly?" He licks your neck up to your jaw, kissing the side of your parted mouth.

"I've got your cum in me." You huff, feeling a little self conscious and well, gross. You can't imagine that will be an enjoyable experience for him.

"I don't care." He's already moving down your body before you can protest further. "Want to feel you cum on my face."

"Jimin." You whine, trying to close your legs.

"Shit, ok. Hold on." He tells you, jumping up from the bed and disappearing into the adjoining bathroom in all his naked glory. Puzzled, you can only watch and anticipate his next move. He returns with a washcloth and gently cleans you up.

"You are so freakin' cute sometimes." You grin, unable to quite comprehend his thoughtfulness. Your heart clenches. No guy has ever done anything like this before for you. Although it's not a major display of affection, or even a big deal really, the simple gesture reads; I want to take care of you.

"I don't want you to feel uncomfortable." He shrugs. When he's done he disposes of the cloth and before he can resume eating you out you grab at him, crashing your lips to his.

"I like you so much." You mumble against him.

"I like you too."

Jimin kisses you slowly for a few moments more, hands wandering down your ribs before gripping the flesh of your thighs. He spreads them once more, before shifting so he's in a more advantageous position. "Can I? Now?" He breathes. You nod.

When he licks into you, your eyes flutter shut and you allow yourself to just enjoy it. His thumbs rub circles on the soft flesh of your inner thighs. He keeps his eyes trained on you, reading your body language. "Ji-min," You breathe. "Want your fingers. Fuck me with them."

The bed creaks as he shifts to comply with your request. Two fingers slip inside you as you clench down, Jimin moans against your clit. Your hips start moving of their own according, rocking against his mouth. When you cum it's so intense you almost sit up completely as your muscles contract. His hands anchor you down.

"Oh my god." You exhale, panting.

"I'm hard again." He laughs. "So sexy." He murmurs, kissing all over the inside of your thighs.

"You wanna go again?"

"If you do."

When Jimin fucks you again he's spooning you from behind, a hand curled underneath your thigh to hold you open for him. He peers down and watches his cock disappear inside of you, moaning at how wet you are. This feels like heaven to you. You clutch his free hand and lock your fingers together.

He cums with a loud groan against the back of your neck. Sweet praises are whispered in your ear as he holds you tightly to him. "You're my favourite, butterfly."

You tenderly look at him over your shoulder. "You're my favourite too."

***

Spending time with Jimin makes you feel like you're floating with pure, unwavering happiness whenever you leave him. He's so sweet and generous - you feel safe with him. Jungkook might have destroyed your ability to trust easily but Jimin is unknowingly building it back up for you. It might be because it's not what he says, it's what he does, all to let you know he cares.

When you leave his place the next morning, full of the breakfast he's made you (with coffee; he remembers how you like it - milk and no sugar), you catch yourself smiling unconsciously several times. You'd feel ridiculous if you weren't so happy.

There's a few moments where you feel guilty for being so elated, worrying about Jungkook. You make a mental note to contact Hoseok in a few days to check in. Hopefully Jungkook is in rehab by then, or at the very minimum taking serious steps towards it.

Home feels empty without Hyerin now. You need to find a roommate, and soon, but the idea of replacing her isn't one you're ecstatic about. She suggested her friend Taehyung, the person you'd met once when he was roped into helping you move. He might be your only hope at this point.

Your phone chimes as you settle into you room. When Namjoon's name appears on your screen it brings a frown to your face, he texts you so infrequently it can only be bad news. Your heart begins to race as you swipe the message open.

from: namjoon jungkook's disappeared from the hospital. He was supposed to be discharged today and no one can reach him. I know you care about him still so i thought you'd want to know. Let me know if he calls you ok?

You swear loudly as you re-read the message. If you know Jungkook as well as you think you do him leaving the hospital without telling anyone was an escape. You appreciate Namjoon reaching out but you almost wish you didn't know that information. Jungkook is in trouble and there's nothing you can do.

MASTERLIST

[inorganicone2230]

All That Led Us Here (Part 1) Yandere!Overhaul x Fem!Reader

Part 2

Summary: Orphaned at the tender age of six, you are taken in and raised by The Head of The Shie Hassaikai along with his young son, Kai, who takes a strange and immediate interest in you, to an obsessive degree... one that only seems to grow as the years go by. A life with him and The Yakuza is all you've ever known, but is it all you really want? Kai would certainly have you believe so, and he’ll do whatever it takes to make sure you never question it.

Warnings: None for this chapter, in fact, the first few will be relatively tame as we build up to the darker chapters later on, but I will make note of them as they pop up per chapter.

Side Note’s: Just a few quick things to help give you an idea as to how this AU’s world is set up. So first off, there are no quirks in this world, so that means that the Yakuza clans are still strong, wealthy and a huge influence in the Japanese underworld, unlike in the cannon version, and the Shie Hassaikai are one of the biggest if not THE biggest. Second, Kai is The Big Bosses biological son and not just some street rat that he took in. Since we never actually learn the old guys name, I figure that it can easily be played around with to suit the needs of this story and Kai’s looks can be explained by saying that he takes after his deceased mom. And finally, Eri will NOT be making an appearance in this story as of yet.

And as always, I want to give a BIG thank you to my amazing friend @talpup for all the brainstorming and encouragement on these stories! I’m sure I would have given up on this blog a while ago if it wasn't for all of their help. I highly encourage anyone who takes the time to read this to go over to their page or their AO3 account under the same name and check out their works, especially Chaos and Erase The Shadow. They are two of my favorite BNHA fics of ALL TIME!

Kai could still remember the first day he met you, no matter how much time passed or how many years flew by, that day was always going to be crystal clear in his mind.

It was the middle of a sweltering hot summer and his father, the head of the notorious Yakuza clan, The Shie Hassaikai, had received a call from an old friend asking him to come visit him on his deathbed in a nearby town. His father had immediately left, but returned just a few days later.

Only, he wasn’t alone when he came back…

It was already early evening when Kai, who was ten at that point, heard the commotion coming from downstairs and had gone outside with all the others to greet his father when he arrived home and was just as shocked, though he hid it very well, as everyone else to see that he had a little girl no older than six with him.

A tiny little thing wearing a purple sundress and hiding behind his father’s legs while she trembled like a leaf. She was so small that, if it weren’t for the quiet little whimpers coming from her, she may have gone completely unnoticed and Kai couldn’t help but idly wonder who she was and what she was doing with his father.

“Kai?” His father had called out to him once he was spotted by the gate. “Come over here Son, there’s someone you need to meet.”

Kai, being the well behaved and dutiful son that he was, immediately went to his father. He couldn’t deny that he was curious as to who the little girl was and even a stoic child like him was still prone to childlike tendencies every now and then.

“What is it Pops?” He asked, his voice already showing signs of deepening despite his young age. And since he had recently hit a growth spurt, he was easily a good foot or so taller than the little girl currently clinging to his father’s hakama.

His father stepped aside to reveal the child to him in full as he gazed down at her with a look of of care and pity. “Kai, this is (Y/N), she’s the daughter of a dear old friend of mine who recently passed away and she’s going to be living with us from now on.” His father reached down to pat you on the head and Kai knew from experience just how comforting that hand could be in a stressful situation, though he’d likely choke on those words if he ever tried to admit them out loud. “She’s family now, so I want you to look out for her. Ya hear me boy?”

Kai had nodded in agreement without a moment's hesitation, he was always eager to please his father no matter what the task was, though, to be honest, Kai had no real experience dealing with kids his own age, let alone one so much younger than himself. He tended to avoid the idiots at his school, they were always running around, getting filthy and he wanted no part in that, and it’s not like there were any other kids that lived in the compound for him to interact with. Hell, there hadn’t even been a woman living there since his mother died nearly eight years prior.

Kai snapped himself out of his own thoughts when he heard his father speak again, seems he wasn’t done talking just yet.

Kai watched as his father gave you another pat on the head as this time, he addressed you directly, his voice much softer and kinder than Kai could ever remember it being. Perhaps it was because you were a girl, or maybe it was because he felt sorry for the situation you were in, your father had just died after all. Either way, this was a side to his old man that he only ever saw when he talked about his late wife, so this was a rather surreal experience for the young boy.

“(Y/N), this brat here is my son, Kai.” He said, motioning his head towards the golden eyed boy. “If you need anything at all and you can’t find me, I want you to go straight to him, alright? This is going to be your home from now on and that means that you can just think of him as your big brother if that makes it easier.”

You had been looking at the ground for the majority of the time, but when you briefly glanced up to meet his gaze, Kai couldn’t help but feel drawn to the big (e/c) eyes that seemed to take up the majority of your chubby little face. They were wide and full of fear, but also a great deal of curiosity as you took in your new surroundings.

You gave him a small, barely there nod of your head as you mumble out a quick response, your voice just as tiny as you were in stature. “N-Nice to m-meet you Kai-san. I’ll try n-not to be a b-bother for you.” And then your eyes are back on the ground and Kai is left with a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach as he uncharacteristically thinks that he wants you to look at him again, and for longer this time.

The old boss tries to muster up a weak smile in the hopes that it will put you at ease. “I’m sure the two of you will get along just fine once you get used to each other. Now, why don’t we go have some dinner and then get you off to bed? It’s been a long few days and I’m sure you’ll feel a bit better in the morning.”

With affirmative nods from both children, nothing more is said as everyone is urged to get back to their usual duties despite talk over who the unexpected new addition to the household is and where she came from.

—————

Later on that night, after a quiet dinner was shared amongst the three, Kai went off back to his room and quietly continued to work on his summer homework. Pops was insistent that he keep up his grades, inciting that just because he was set to inherit the role as head of a mob family, that didn’t mean that he was allowed to be an ignorant fool with no brains to back himself up, and Kai was inclined to agree, there was only one thing he hated more than filth and that was stupidity and a general lack of common sense.

Tonight however, this usually easy task was proving to be just a tad bit harder to stay focused on.

The main reason?

He can hear your soft cries from down the hall in your new room and it’s proving to be rather distracting. Not that you were being overly loud, but thin walls and shoji screen doors don’t provide much in the way of soundproofing or insulation. And with the two of you bring the only ones living on this floor, his old man's room being situated one floor above and everyone else further down, it was even more quiet than a normal house.

Without really stopping to think about what he was doing, Kai got up from his desk and left his room to wander down the hall until he found himself quietly standing outside your door. He debated with himself for about thirty seconds before he made the abrupt decision to just open the door uninvited.

There you were, curled up on an unfamiliar bed that was definitely way too big for someone so tiny, your shoulders shaking even as your head shot up at the sudden sound of sliding wood and big fat crocodile tears continued to roll silently down your cheeks.

“U-Um… w-what are-”

“You’ve been crying.” Kai interrupted you.

You looked down, he really wished you’d stop doing that, almost as if you were ashamed to have it pointed out so bluntly.

“I’m so-sorry, I w-won’t do it a-again, I pro-promise.” You managed to get out between more sniffles.

Kai normally hated the sound of crying, it was like nails on a chalkboard to him and he attributed it to weakness, yet another thing that he so deeply detested. But, he supposed that given the events you had likely been subjected to over the course of the last few days, your blatant display of emotion was understandable, if not outright expected of you.

And besides, he thought, he knew what it was like to lose a parent, but he still had his old man at least, that was more than could be said for you, you didn’t have anyone.

No one but him and Pops…

Kai wouldn’t be able to properly articulate to himself what it really was, not until he was older and understood himself a bit better, but he felt an odd sensation swell up in his chest at the thought of you relying on him, of you needing him, he liked the idea of you staring up at him with those big watery eyes and asking him for help, begging him to make the hurt go away.

But more than that, he wanted to be the reason you smiled. He had yet to see a smile grace your face, but he knew that he wanted to be it’s cause when it did finally happen, or at the very least, he wanted to be the first one to see it.

It was a strange feeling, and not one he was at all used to, but Kai was a pragmatic child and rarely ever second guessed himself once his mind had settled on an idea. His father often told him that if he continued to cultivate that trait, it would make him an even better boss than him someday.

And to that end, he did what his father would expect of him…

“Do you… want me to stay with you, until you fall asleep?”

The two of you stared at each other for roughly a minute before you mutely nodded your head and Kai silently made his way over to your bed, easily climbing onto the tall mattress and sitting upright against the headboard while you laid your head back down on the pillow.

Kai never took his eyes off your face.

“Thank you Kai.” You mumbled sleepily, your swollen, puffy eyes already drooping as sleep threatened to finally claim you.

He wasn’t really great at comforting others, not that he had ever tried, so he acted on pure instinct, reaching out and taking your tiny hand in his own and closing his fist around it, an act that both shocked and astounded him, though he never let go of your hand regardless of that.

It had been so long since he had touched anyone else that he’d almost forgotten what another person’s skin could feel like and despite his steadily growing aversion to physical contact, he didn’t feel even the slightest bit of disgust when he felt your skin against his own. In fact, it was no different than if he was reaching up to touch the flesh of his own face.

Kai knew that this had to mean something, he just didn’t know what that something was just yet.

But he could figure it out, he thought, gazing down at your peaceful face as he brushed some of your hair behind your ear. This was your home now, and he had all the time in the world to learn what it was about you that seemed to set you apart from the rest of the filthy world.

—————

About an hour later, Kai was just beginning to feel his own eyes drop as sleep fought to overtake his senses when he heard a shuffling sound by the still open door and, looking up, he wasn’t all that surprised to find his father standing there in the doorway.

The Boss couldn’t sleep and so he decided to wander down and check on his new charge, he was already beating himself up for leaving you alone in a dark, unfamiliar room. He half expected to find you still awake and crying, however, what he found instead was something far more surprising than anything he could have imagined on his own.

You weren’t crying, in fact, you were sound asleep. Sound asleep and holding his sons hand, his son who hated all unnecessary physical contact. To say he was surprised was an understatement, he never would have expected to find a scene like this, not in a million years.

Kai meanwhile, couldn’t help but feel the slightest bit annoyed that his time alone with you was being interrupted. How was he supposed to think and ponder these new developments if he was being distracted by his father’s eyes boring holes into him.

But, he supposed this could have it’s own benefits, now that they were alone, he could ask his father some questions that have been plaguing his mind since he first arrived home.

“Why is she here Pops?” He asked quietly, never taking his eyes off your sleeping face.

The Boss was not the kind of man that believed in treating his son with kid gloves, he told him how things were in a very direct manner and rarely ever beat around the bush when talking to him. He was going to be taking over one of the most powerful Yakuza clans in the country and he couldn’t afford to have his only son and heir be a spineless weakling. Some might call him cruel for laying so much on a young child’s shoulders, but he knew just how fast he could be swallowed whole if he didn’t possess the necessary moral fiber to stand on his own two feet in this dangerous world he was set to rule in. It might not seem like it, but he loved his son and wanted to see him succeed and push the clan further then even he had.

“Her father was an old friend of mine from back in the day.” He began and leaned one of his large, broad shoulders against the door-frame. “He wasn’t a criminal, in fact, he was a pretty average guy. But he helped me out of more tight spots in our youth then I care to remember and despite knowing about my Yakuza heritage, he never dwelled on it or judged me for it.”

Kai watched as a look of sorrow passed across his father’s face, something that only ever happened when he thought about his mother and he realized it must have meant that he really cared about this dead man, whoever he was.

“We lost touch over the years, but when I got that call from him, asking me to come see him on his deathbed, I knew I owed it to him to go and send him off.” He took a deep breath before continuing. “When I got there, I found out what it was he wanted from me. His last wish was that his only child, his daughter, be raised by someone he knew and trusted. Neither he, nor his deceased wife had any known living family that could take her in. So it was either I take custody of the girl, or she gets put in the system. Clearly you can see what my decision was.”

Kai suspected that there was more to the story than that, but he got what he wanted so he didn’t press for anymore then that.

“So, you want to tell me what you’re doing here in the middle of the night?” His father questioned him.

Kai still had yet to look away from you and to be honest, he really didn’t want to. “She was crying.”

“So you came in here to check on her?”

“Something like that.” Kai murmured, his usual monotone still firmly in place. “She’s different than the others, she’s clean and I don’t feel sick being near her. I can even touch her.”

It was nearly pitch black in the room but there was just enough light streaming in from the hallway that allowed him to see his sons face, and what he saw there nearly had him busting out laughing, but he refrained for fear of ruining whatever it was that was happening to the boy.

Kai was blushing.

It was small and faint, but the tops of his cheeks were definitely looking a bit darker than usual.

And this seemingly innocuous turn of events sparked an idea in his mind, one that he would need to put some serious thought into, he couldn’t just rush something like this without analyzing it from all angles, but it was an option that could ultimately lead to his child’s, no, his children’s future happiness.

“So I take it you’re not going to be having a problem with her being here?”

Kai looked down at you, at the steady rise and fall of your chest and the way you curled in on yourself. He took in the way you nuzzled your face just a bit closer to him and he found comfort in your soft little breaths that he could feel against him arm.

So, did he have a problem with you?

“I’ll take care of her.”

I hope you all enjoyed this! Please let me know what you thought if you have the time!

[phoebehalliwell]

AU Chris is Paige and Richard’s son. What would his power be? What about Chris’ relationships with his parents?

chris being paige and richard’s son would like totally explain why he’s Like That actually that would be a great au so once again i’m gonna bring up my conspiracy theory that richard was dosed with the blood of some greater being as a baby by his parents in the hopes of making some superwitch but as we all know from dr curtis williamson of astral monkey fame receiving the blood of someone more powerful than u can create some disastrous consequences, which i believe is exactly what we see with richard and his fucked up relationship to magic given richards advanced powers (namely conjuration) and also the fact that the montana family probably didn't want it to be obvious that they y'know experimented on their kid imma say richard was somehow infused with avatar blood, seeing as they were basically unknown beings until s7, so no one would really be able to id his powers. i also think that explains how we saw richard get so insanely powerful towards the end like in i dream of phoebe he was even able to manifest a teleportation power through conjuration bc as we learned, avatars draw their power from a collective, so i’m positing that having a relationship with paige especially like y'know it's physical there's an intense emotional element that we see she even lives with him so like. it's a Relationship™. yeah that whole relationship only added to his own powers as paige sorta became his collective (i don't think this takes away from paige's powers at all more like if you shine a flashlight into a mirror it bounces back that light it's not taking away any light from the flashlight it's simply using what it was given to create more if that makes sense like in the abstract we don’t need to talk the physics of how light is reflected think of this in vague terms) so uh yeah that’s what’s up i think if richard did not have avatar blood he would just be a normal telekinetic which is a power we see him display at various points at just sort of a normal level couple that with the fact that paige is also a telekinetic and i think it is very safe to say that their child would have telekinesis i think telekinesis is the brown eyes of the magical world the dominant gene in the punnett square or whatever 7th grade was a long time ago i also think they are bound to some sort of teleportation power as both paige and richard can teleport i’d love to see it me some hybrid between fading and orbing as they are the first witchlightvatar i feel like they should have something wholly unique to show for it for another active power projection is an option as it is very close to conjuration while simultaneously being a power in the warren line but i wouldn’t want to give chris the same power as wyatt tho seeing as chris is a family name from leo’s side it wouldn’t quite make sense whenever i write about a paige/richard child i always call them bennie named after richard’s father which i think still works as chris is also named after his paternal grandfather but yeah the point i was making is having bennie travel through time and like exist in like this juxtaposition with wyatt idk i feel like it’s not as fun if they have the same power set so maybe i’ll take richards conjuring and modify it to match paige’s past life and say conjuring the elements? the entire montana family line seems to have energy balls as a power so like . that could add to that theory maybe. like the evil enchantress could conjuring lightning i think the avatars also had lightning powers but i think that was purely a leo addition and an elder power and paige has no ties to an elder status so. idk. i sorta like the conjuring the elements power i do think richard is the firstborn of his generation and paige is technically sam’s firstborn so i think they both get Legacy Points there and then bennie would go on to be the first born in the montana line so i think that could justify very op power like conjuring the elements i think that they would inherit some of richard’s mania to some degree i mean as we know there is a genetic component to addiction and both paige and richard have suffered from it but i think since the foreign blood is a) diluted and b) in a host with a greater power capacity (as we know, witches get stronger with every generation and adding a charmed one into the mix is definitely an added boost) i don’t think those genes would manifest themselves in the way they did with like richards obsession with magic however i think substance abuse and also probably and anxiety disorder are very much on the table if we’re talking bennie replaces chris as the one to come from the dark future quite frankly this kid’s gonna be more that a little fucked up bc lord knows nothing stable ever happened there i also think they wouldn’t be nearly as good of a liar as chris as i think they’re gonna have ten times more impulsivity i also think they wouldn’t tip toe around the truth so much like i know chris is really anxious about like negatively impacting the future i do not think bennie would give nearly as much of a shit like the future already sucks that’s why i’m here so Sit Down bc i have some Very Bad News for y’all i think like within the first ten episodes of season six bennie would have already made it very obvious that wyatt goes full dark no stars due to something that’s about to happen i do think they would wanna keep it under wraps about their specific lineage bc like they’re here to change a whole lot of things but i think they’d still like to exist at the end of the day but i do think that phoebe would find out and the news would spread i think in the light future without an evil wyatt bennie would not end up remotely as fucked up as they also probz wouldn’t be an orphan which i imagine is really likely in their dark future i think richard would strip his magic and live as a mortal but still teach bennie what he knows about magic and potion making bc like. he’s well verse. there are also a lot of montana traditions and secret recipes i think he would want to pass down but like not for one second i think richard would regret stripping his powers i think he would be making a potion with his kid and just be like yeah i’m so glad i’m not actually magical anymore this is just like making weird soup i’m not getting weird vibes and strange jolts of magic and funny voice in my head there’s no pressure to get it right if it’ll work or not i’m just here throwing ingredients in a cauldron w my kid : ) i also think richard would get like hella into tai chi or something very focused on medicine and alternative healing styles oh richard like paige was definitely also a pothead in high school but the point is bennie would be like very well versed in meditation and what’s it called not aromatherapy but like. apothecary? herbaltherapy? plantohealing? you know that thing people are into like teas and herbs that fuckin uhh help with colds and stuff basically like the non magical properties of the world in fact i think they’d be the most knowledgeable out of anyone from gen2 on like nonmagical uses for things like there are mortal ways to solve problems that can work just fine and i think yeah bennie does know richard’s past and the issues with magic i think that that’s something that personally scares them not enough to like not practice but like enough that they don’t ever like use magic for unnecessary purposes like they will Not be telekinetically closing the manor door shut at the end of the season they will be closing the door like a normal person that type of thing. in regards to a relationship with paige i think in the trying to fix the future part of this au bennie would get really close to paige bc like again paige probably was murdered in the dark future but i don’t think bennie would be like chris like she’s just gonna die so why get close i think bennie would really utilized the time that they do have to just like. be with their mom. i think paige would definitely be freaked to like be a mom bc she’s like woah i’m not that old and like have a 22 year old call you mom like definitely ages you but like i do think paige would see a lot of herself in her kid especially as this version of bennie like grew up really without parents and like this that and the other they’d also really remind paige of the kids she saw at social services and i do think paige would be very like mom-y around her kid like i would not describe paige as a motherly woman i would never call her the mom friend but like around bennie she like goes full mom like cuts crusts off sandwiches and everything mode (piper and phoebe find it fucking hilarious)

[moonstone-blues]

A Spark By The River - Chapter 9: Red And Blue

“Jesus, Blue. You look like hell.”

“Thanks.”

River chuckled as she sniffled. She had dark bags under her eyes, her skin was pale, hair dishevelled and a red nose.

River and Piper had met up a few streets away from Diamond City. After a rough night, River and Nick decided to split up to try and find a fusion core. Nick would look in the more irradiated places and River would go with Piper to try and find one amongst the ruins of the city. Nick still wasn’t comfortable letting River go alone and while he didn’t exactly trust Piper with the details of the case, Codsworth was busy helping make Sanctuary more comfortable for the settlers there and Preston was busy trying to set up some sort of line of communication.

Once Piper heard that there was a chance she could get herself in the story, she didn’t hesitate to grab her bag. River was concerned about Nat but Piper assured her she would be fine on her own for a bit. And if she needed anything, Arturo was only around the corner. He didn’t always agree with Piper but he couldn’t say no to helping a kid.

Piper nudged River with her elbow as the two began to walk.

“I didn’t get much sleep.” River admitted with a shrug. She had tried but it just felt… Wrong. Knowing she would wake up and Jack wouldn’t be beside her… She couldn’t. Not yet.

“Nick keeping you up with all his nagging?” Piper joked, using her hand as a puppet and pretending to talk.

River giggled, shaking her head. “He’s been nagging me to get some sleep."

"I remember when he used to do that with me.” Piper thought back.

As they navigated through the streets, River noticed that Piper was less careful than Nick, only occasionally ducking behind something when a noise was heard. Whether that was because of River or just their normal strategies, River didn’t know.

Footsteps sounded. They were slow. River quickly ducked into an alleyway, pulling Piper beside her. The footsteps became quicker. River could guess it was an animal by the sound of two feet hitting the ground at once. A blur of green whizzed past. Piper recoiled.

“Mutants.” Piper whispered to herself.

“Those big green men?” River questioned.

“If they have a hound out, there’s probably one close by.” She explained.

“They have dogs?!” River exclaimed in a quiet voice. More things she didn’t know about them, great!

“You can get a zoology lesson later, we need to go.” Piper turned around. Upon looking down the alleyway, it branching off at the bottom, she groaned.

“I should really scout out this area more.”

“Is there anywhere specifically we need to go?” River questioned walking down the alleyway.

Piper followed her, trying to come up with a solution in her head. “West would probably be best but I don’t know which path-”

“That one.” River said, pointing to the one on the right.

“But won’t that take us back the way we came?” Piper asked, looking down it.

“For a bit.” River nodded. “But it will make a ‘U’ shape taking us back up. The alley ahead leads to a dead end and the one on the left goes back to the same road.”

Piper blinked in astonishment.

River smiled sheepishly as she began to walk down the alley.

“Hey, you spend hours navigating alleys with Nick.” River chuckled.

“Okay, maybe a little nagging from Nick is okay.” Piper admitted with a defeated shrug. “But don’t tell sixteen year old me that.”

It was River’s turn to be astonished. “You knew Nick at sixteen?"

Piper raised an eyebrow. "How long do you think Nick’s been in Diamond City?"

River shrugged as she carefully stepped over a fallen trash can. Piper and her had to hold their noses at the putrid stench of it’s rotten contents. When they were a good enough distance away, River responded.

"I don’t know.” River shrugged. “I know he was there when the Mayor’s daughter went missing…”

Piper’s face lit up. “He told you the 'beep’ story?"

River laughed, nodding. "Can you imagine it?"

"Oh I would give anything to have been there at the time.” Piper grinned. “That was about two mayors ago.”

“Oh wow. A long time then.” River stated.

The two made their way around a corner, spotting a small playground just ahead. The two looked at each other before walking ahead.

“Ugh I hate these places.” Piper shivered as she opened the, surprisingly still working, gate and walked into the park. “How did kids used to play here?"

"Believe it or not, not everywhere used to be an apocalyptic Wasteland full of raiders and green feral dogs.” River joked, walking up to a climbing frame that looked like a spaceship. She poked her head inside.

“Well it was also full of weird space monkeys.” Piper shrugged.

River tried to pull her head out of the spaceship but she accidently hit it on the top, not realising how small the entrance actually was. She let out a pained yelp as she held her head, carefully pulling it away. She rubbed her head as she turned to Piper who was stifling a laugh.

“Space monkey?” River said through her winces. She then realised what Piper meant. “Oh! Jangles the moon monkey!” She exclaimed. She double checked her hand to see if there was any blood. Couldn’t be too careful.

Piper snickered as she raised an eyebrow. “Jangles? Moon Monkey?"

"Yeah, he was a TV show character, I think. There’s toys of him, too. I was thinking of getting Shaun one but their faces are just…” River cringed. “Besides, they cost thirty dollars."

"So… He wasn’t an actual space monkey?” Piper questioned, leaning against an old slide, hearing sticks and leaves crunch under her feet.

“Moon monkey.” River reminded. “And no. He’s just a character.”

“And I thought I had pre war times all figured out…” Piper shook her head with a sigh. A thought suddenly hit her as she looked back up at River.

“You know a lot about pre war times, right?” Piper asked, a grin beginning to form on her face.

“I did live there all my life.” River said plainly. This wasn’t new information to Piper. Seeing Piper’s full grin was a big give away of what was going through her mind.

“Another paper?” River chuckled.

“Perhaps…” Piper said suspiciously. “The ghouls I manage to talk to don’t really go into detail. Besides… you’re relatively fresh.”

River smiled, giving Piper a side glance, seeing the reporter smirk.

“If you’ve seen any old posters, probably like that.” River simply told her.

“So… Space monkeys?” Piper teased with a laugh.

River gently pushed Piper, not helping herself as she giggled along. Once Piper reegainedd her composure, she took a deep breath. “Okay, I’m sorry. But seriously, what was it like?” Piper genuinely asked.

“Well… ever hear of the ‘American Dream’?” River began walking towards the swings.

“Kinda. I’ve seen a few pictures with that on. But I don’t get it. They’re all just families having dinner.“

“That’s kind of the point.” River examined the swing, checking if it could take her weight. She continued.

“Families being happy, just living their life. No worries, no stress. Everyone has equal opportunities and has the same value of life.”

“Sure sounds like a dream.” Piper rolled her eyes, sitting on the swing, not checking if it was safe herself. “How did people possibly believe that could happen?”

River shrugged, carefully sitting on the swing. She gently began to swing back and forth. “It was a way to distract people from the war. So much was going on. Everyone was clinging to what was left of our country. And that was the American Dream.” River sighed. “Maybe if we all weren’t so focused on a pretend picture perfect life, we could’ve been more prepared…” River clenched her fists. She quickly relaxed, softening her facial expression.

“Sorry… I guess my husband’s feelings on this rubbed off on me…” River chuckled. “He was a military man.”

“Like the Brotherhood?” Piper asked.

River hesitated. “Kind of…”

“But without the super mutant and ghoul bloodlust.” Piper added. “Oh, and don’t forget the ‘will literally kill people for technology’ mentality.” She shook her head. “Anyway, got any specific details? Like your life?” Piper asked.

“My life?” River raised an eyebrow as she stopped swinging.

“Well, yeah. We still don’t know each other that well.” Piper explained. "Promise this one’s not going in the paper.”

“Well I was kinda middle to high class, I would say.” River thought back to her childhood. “Had a loving dad, a money obsessed mom and a boy crazy little sister.”

“You had a little sister?” Piper questioned, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah. The age gap wasn’t as big as you and Nat though. We only had four years between us.” River began to gently swing once more.

“Were you close?”

River chuckled. “Sometimes. One minute we would be laughing and close as ever then the next we would be at each other’s throats.” She then sighed, a look of shock suddenly appearing on her face. “God… the last thing we did before the bombs was fight…” She stopped on the swing, it now fully sinking in. “Shit…”

“You didn’t know.” Piper leaned over and put her hand on River’s shoulder.

“I just hope that she got to her vault in time…” River leaned back.

Though, that may have been worse for her, considering what the Vault had done to River. Maybe Jane’s vault was better…

She looked back to Piper who looked back, expectantly. River continued. “Anyway, yeah. Born and raised in Boston. Went to D.B Technical High School where I met my husband, went to college, university and eventually married. I had just given birth to Shaun a few months before the war. He kind of occupied most of my time.” She explained.

“I’ll bet.” Piper chuckled. “Harder than growing up with a little sister.”

“But before Shaun, I practised law.” River smiled, thinking back to her law degree that had managed to survive the nuclear war.

She wanted to wait until she had time to examine and fix her house but as her foot nudged the cracked glass encasing the degree, she couldn’t help but proudly place it back on display.

“A lawyer, huh?” Piper thought. “And… what was justice like back then?” She hoped it was even a slither better than what McDonough was 'enforcing’.

“It was a bunch of power hungry bastards locking up anyone they didn’t like or who got in their way.” River replied with an annoyed huff.

“Shit.” Piper chuckled. She knew it would be too good to be true. “So, not much has changed then.”

River defended herself. “I made sure everyone got a fair trial. They didn’t get rolled over by the system.”

Piper smirked. “Guardian of the downtrodden, huh?”

“That sounds like a new title for a paper.”

“Maybe.”

River laughed, getting up from the swing. She pretended to swing a sword.

“Trial by combat. I rocked up thirty kills in my day.” She grinned. Of course, she had done many more court cases but who was counting?

“Huh. Always wondered why pre-war courthouses had all that gladiator equipment just lying around.” Piper stood up herself.

“It doesn’t matter now, though. The American penal code burned up along with most of Boston…” River tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

“I have an idea.” Piper said, beginning to walk.

River followed, not knowing what to expect.“Oh God, what?”

“You know all about law.” Piper began.

“Where is this going?” River cautiously questioned.

“Diamond City is pretty bad when it comes to managing the law. Maybe next election you could… you know…”

River shot her a look.

“Y’know… after you find your son, of course.” Piper haphazardly added.

River carefully stepped around the fallen pieces of gate on the opposite side of the miniature park. “Where will you get your source of satire without McDonough then?”

“I’ll probably find some scandalous secret you want to keep buried.” Piper shrugged, moving on ahead. “Maybe you’re hiding some dirty little dungeon.”

“Ha ha.” River rolled her eyes. “So, any idea where we can find a fusion core?” She asked, looking around. The tall, decrepit apartments toward over the two as they gazed up.

Piper had a thought. “Fusion cores are pretty rare… we can either spend days searching every single building which are probably full of ghouls or we look in the only place that you can be certain to find them…” She groaned at her conclusion. “The Brotherhood. Well, we can’t exactly waltz onto their ship and politely ask for one of their precious fusion cores like squatters.”

River sighed, walking on. Everything was quiet. Eerily quiet.

“You okay if I put some music on? Shouldn’t be too loud.” River asked, holding up her pip boy.

Piper nodded.

River was about to select the Diamond City Radio but she noticed a new radio channel present on her pip boy.

“Military Frequency AF95.”

Piper walked behind River and peeked over her shoulder, her curiosity evident.

“-s Scribe Haylen of Reconnaissance Squad Gladius to any unit in transmission range. Authorization Arx. Ferrum. Nine. Five. Our unit has sustained casualties and we’re running low on supplies. We’re requesting support or evac from our position at Cambridge Police Station.”

“That sounds bad.” River said, tuning out the channel.

Piper nodded her head, agreeing. “Speak of the devil.” River raised her eyebrow in confusion. “She said she was… Scribe? Yeah. That’s a rank in the Brotherhood. Just leave it. They’ll be fine on their own.”

River rolled her eyes, checking her map. They weren’t that far away…

“Brotherhood or not, they need help.”

Piper watched as River continued to walk well into the city.

“Blue! You can’t just- They- Ugh!” Piper finally gave in, reluctantly chasing after River.

River navigated the streets of Boston carefully. Piper groaned as she squeezed herself in between a truck and a brick wall, sucking in her stomach as she tried to keep up with River.

“Nick warned me you were a runaway, but I didn’t think you were-” She took a deep breath as she moved away from the truck, following River up the main road which happened to lead into a large, open area. “-This bad.”

River chuckled, turned around. She rested a hand on her hip with a smirk. “What can I say? I’m-”

Piper glanced to the side as she heard growling. “Feral!” She pounced forward, pushing River down as a ghoul flew past them.

River yelled in pain as her head hit concrete. She looked ahead and saw Piper over her, smiling nervously.

“Sorry.”

River opened her mouth to respond but quickly stopped, pushing Piper away, raising her pistol and shooting a ghoul looming over her.

“Apologize later!”

Piper quickly stood up, while River scrambled to her feet, readying themselves. A few more ghouls were beginning to surround them as they had decided to check out where the loud noises were coming from.

“So much for being careful…” River muttered to herself. It was still going to take her a while to get used to safely navigating the city, no matter how much she had already learned.

The ghouls began to run. River and Piper backed up quickly. River looked around, spotting a nearby diner.

“Up there!”

River climbed onto a rusted old car, making sure Piper was following. She carefully balanced herself as she walked across a fallen lamppost. From the way they pounced carelessly and stumbled round, River could guess that they wouldn’t be elegant or coordinated enough to follow them. She managed to hop on top of the diner, thankful that it had managed to hold her weight. Piper was close behind, but so were the ghouls. She was only a couple feet away from the diner when a feral ghoul from below had jumped up, clawing at Piper. It caught her foot, causing her to lose her balance and fall off.

“Blue!”

River lunged forward and grabbed Piper’s arm, using all of her strength to try and pull her up. The ghoul was strong, however, it’s claw saught on Piper’s coat. Piper swung her foot, trying to shake or kick the ghoul off of her. River reached for her gun only to realise she forgot to holster it. She glanced behind her and saw it a few feet away, just out of reach.

“Dammit.”

She turned back to Piper, thoughts and decisions flying through her head.

“Piper, do you trust me?”

“What?”

“Do you trust me?”

“Why?”

“Sorry!”

River quickly let go of Piper, letting the woman fall with a short scream. She dived for her pistol, quickly grabbing it. She scrambled to the edge of the diner roof, spotting Piper trying to fight off a snarling, snapping ghoul. She winced, holding out what looked like the bumper of the car they had climbed on top of. She pressed it against the ghouls chest, keeping it in place, futilely swinging at her. River readied her weapon, took aim and then fired, piercing the ghoul’s head.

The gunshot alerted the couple other ghouls who were still trying to figure out how to reach their dinner on the rooftop. Not only that, but even more ghouls had started to emerge from the different buildings surrounding them. Piper chuckled nervously as she watched the dead eyes glare at her. She waved.

“Nice fer-”

River grabbed Piper’s raised arm, trying her best to hoist Piper up. Piper climbed onto the lamp post once she was high enough, letting River relax. Piper cautiously joined her. There was a moment of brief peace for the two before Piper reeled back, punching River in the shoulder.

“Ow!”

“I could’ve died!” Piper growled.

There was a pause. “But you… didn’t?” she shrugged. River had to admit her plan was absurd. Guess she was starting to get used to wastelander ways.

Piper opened her mouth to argue back but stopped herself, folding her arms.

“God, I see why Nick wanted to split for a bit.”

River let out a breathless chuckle, still panting. Piper raised an eyebrow.

“What?”

River took deep breaths. Piper gasped.

“I’m not that heavy!”

River finally gained her breath back and laughed. “Come on, let’s check our bullets and see if we can pick the rest of them off…”

After the two killed the rest of the ghouls, they carefully climbed down from the diner. They both cringed at the smell. Seemed like even people who were used to this could never get over the smell.

Piper covered her nose as she carefully made her way around the ghoul corpses. She took in her surroundings. “College Square. Explains why it stinks this much.”

River tilted her head slightly, confused. “Because of all the teenagers?” She chuckled to herself before realising Piper might not get the joke.

Piper raised her eyebrow at her before pointing away from them, her expression now serious. “No, because of that.”

River turned to where Piper was pointing and gasped.

During their fight, she didn’t notice… The dozens of decaying human corpses strewn about. A lot had been half eaten. And they had clearly been dead for a while.

River took a few steps back, feeling sick to her stomach. This was a massacre. Piper continued on her way, face screwing up as the smell became too much.

River quickly followed her. “All those people…” She mumbled.

“Raiders.” Piper stated. “You can tell by the gear.”

“Those ferals couldn’t have killed that many people.” River only counted about ten feral ghouls. She understood they could be vicious but no way they could cause that much carnage.

“The rest must’ve gone into the city.” Piper said in agreement. “I know they’re evil people who did horrible things but being eaten alive by ferals?” A shiver ran down her spine. “I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy.”

River nodded. “Yeah.”

As they neared the exit of College Square, they could hear gunshots. They carefully approached, seeing more ferals rushing towards a barricaded police station.

“That must be it.” River pointed out.

“Yeah, the Brotherhood look like they’ve got it all under co- Blue?” Piper looked beside her to see River gone. She turned back to see River had moved ahead, hiding behind a wall before taking shots at the ghouls.

Piper groaned. “Nick, you owe me big time for this…”

It seemed like the majority of ghouls were dead. A few bodies were around the station with the others obviously back in College Square. That explained why there weren’t that many the two had to deal with.

Piper ran forward but nearly tripped up when something grabbed her leg. She whipped her head around and yelped, seeing a legless ghoul clinging onto her. It wasn’t long before a bullet pierced it’s skull. Piper shook the arm off and ran towards River who was being surrounded by a small group of three ghouls. She stood there, watching them. And just before they were about the pounce, she quickly moved out of the way, letting the three ghouls attack each other. However, she wasn’t aware of her surroundings and ended up tripping over some debris from a nearby building. She fell to the ground only to be rushed at by another feral ghoul. She stuck her leg out, letting the ghoul run into it. She kept the ghoul at bay as it swung for her. She tried reaching for her pistol-

It was gone.

River groaned as she spotted it practically right underneath the tangle of ghouls just ahead of her. She really needed a bigger gun she wouldn’t lose.

She could hear Piper dealing with her own set of ghouls and it didn’t seem like the Brotherhood were going to leave their fortress.

The feral attacked whatever it could, scratching and sinking its nails into River’s leg. She bit back a scream as she desperately felt around for something- anything!

She didn’t take her eyes off the ghoul. Her leg made sure it’s head couldn’t reach down to bite her but that didn’t make her any less terrified.

She wasn’t going to end up like those raiders.

River eventually felt something sharp stab her hand. She gripped it tightly and let her leg drop for one second as she plunged the sharp thing into the ghoul’s head. It struggled for a moment more before falling limp. River took a deep and shaky breath, looking at the small, jagged pipe she had used as her weapon, sticking out of the now dead ghoul’s head. She stood up only to wince in pain as she put weight on her left leg. The battle seemed to be dying down but it wasn’t over. Luckily, the trio of ghouls she had previously escaped from seemed to be dead so River could quickly snatch her pistol back up. It took a few shots but eventually it seemed like the ghouls were all down.

River panted, her leg feeling weak. Piper jogged over.

“Blue!”

“Please tell me a scratch isn’t going to turn me into one.” River said, slightly limping as she approached Piper.

Piper shook her head. “No, but you should definitely get that looked at.”

“First, let’s make sure the Brotherhood people are okay.”

“Oh yeah, I’m sure they’re all struggling in their impenetrable tin can suits and their fortified base.” Piper said with an eye roll. River shot her a displeased look. The two then made their way into the barricade.

There were three people outside the police station. A man wearing power armor covered in grime, a woman who was giving medical attention and the man she was giving it to.

“Are you guys okay?” River asked.

The man in the power armor turned to her. She would never get used to the height and sheer power that radiated from the suit alone, let alone the hardened soldiers that wore it. He reloaded his weapon.

“We appreciate the assistance, civilians. But what’s your business here?"

"We heard your distress signal.” River explained with a small smile. “We were close by so we thought we should help.”

“Don’t drag me into this.” Piper whispered under her breath.

The man raised an eyebrow. “Close by? You’re not from a settlement, are you?”

“Don’t answer that.” Piper quickly spoke to River.

River looked back at the woman then to the soldier. She wanted to help but she also had to be cautious. “Why do you want to know?”

He didn’t answer.

“We’ve done our good deed, let’s go.” Piper whispered, trying to rush River.

River sighed. “I’m from up north west. I… came out of a vault. Vault 111.”

“A vault Dweller? Most people wouldn’t admit that.” He finally spoke.

“Now can you tell me what you’re doing in the area? Not everyday you see someone wearing mint condition t-60 power armor.” River looked the man up and down. Even her suit wasn’t as clean. The Brotherhood didn’t seem like any other group in the Commonwealth.

“You know about power armor?” The man said, shocked. Most wastelanders had never even heard of power armor, let alone pick out a specific model.

River hesitated for a moment. “My husband was around power armor a lot while he was in the line of duty.”

The man smiled for the first time. “Ah, it’s good to know we have the assistance from an ally of the Brotherhood of Steel.”

“Well, not-” River tried to explain.

“If I appear suspicious it’s because our mission here has been difficult. Since the moment we arrived in the Commonwealth, we’ve been constantly under fire.” He looked to River, smiling. “If you want to continue pitching in, we could use an extra gun on our side.”

Piper was slowly shaking her head, eyes narrowed. River sighed, trying to ignore her objections.

“I want to help but I don’t like the secrecy. Who are you?"

"Very well.” The man stood, proud. “I’m paladin danse.” He gestured to the two other people behind him. “Over there is Scribe Haylen and Knight Rhys. We’re on recon duty, but I’m down a man and our supplies are running low. I’ve been trying to send a distress call to my superiors, but the signal’s too weak to reach them.”

“The distress call we found.”

“Correct.”

An unsure voice made River turn her attention to the woman, Scribe Haylen. “Sir, if I may?"

"Proceed, Haylen.”

“I’ve modified the radio tower on the roof of the police station, but I’m afraid it just isn’t enough. What we need is something that will boost the signal.” She explained. Her eyes then fixated on River’s leg. “You’ve been injured!"

River looked down at her leg before looking up at Scribe Haylen. "Just feral ghoul scratches, it only really hurts when I walk.”

“Despicable creatures.” Danse spat. “Haylen, take her inside. See what you can do.”

“Yes sir.”

“What about me?” The other man who hadn’t yet spoke loud enough for River to hear cried.

“I’ve done all I can, now you need to rest.” Haylen told him. “Come on.” She gestured for River to follow her.

“We’ll tell you about our mission once we’re inside.” Danse explained, walking to the entrance of the police station. He helped Rhys up before taking him inside.

Before River could move, Piper grabbed her shoulder and whispered.

“Blue, this is crazy!”

“I know, what I’ve heard of the Brotherhood isn’t good but this is my chance to get a fusion core.” River explained. “You said it yourself: we either spend what could be days going through every ghoul filled apartment or we can get one straight from the Brotherhood.”

“What do you even need this core for?!” Piper questioned.

River paused, confused. “Nick didn’t tell you?"

Piper threw her hands up in the air with a groan. "No! Do you think he tells me anything about his cases?!”

River sighed. She thought for a moment. She didn’t want the Institute to get a whiff of their plan…

But she did kind of owe Piper for dropping her in front of a feral ghoul.

“I need to use power armor to go into the Glowing Sea.” River began.

“The Glow- Why?!"

"There’s an Institute scientist who went rogue. He can help me find a way in.”

Piper’s confusion and annoyance turned into a child-like glee as her mouth stretched into a grin.

“You’re going to talk to. An Institute. Scientist?” She asked slowly.

“You can’t tell anyone.” River warned. “I can’t let the Institute get to him first.”

“My lips are sealed.” Piper 'zipped’ her lips shut to emphasise her point.

“Also I’m kind of bleeding out a little so I need them to patch me up.” River pointed out with a shrug.

“Come on.” Piper pulled River’s arm over her shoulder and started to walk, making sure she didn’t put much weight on her leg. “Let’s get you a fusion core.”