#I will find a way to recover my health and spend the clock back

[captainkurosolaire]

And as I gave stare to my revelation; death is a part of life. Saying goodbye is the only way to find that hello again.

It’s agonizing to let that cradle of delicacy let loose to the wind, that last small fragile divine petal you clutched from something you once bloomed. I failed to tell what was necessary, that indeed it was necessary to me when it was under the process of nurturing and mattered. There isn’t an enemy that compares to the one crafted by your own projection. Many come and paint your flaws from the outsides of their own discern with invasion, with the vaguest of details to what covers your raw authenticity. Pain is knowing when your naive and young and anticipating the future when you have all the answers to become your peak. It was easier to be imaginative and solely a dreamer, where fun coexisted and miserableness wasn’t a fret. However, even when that moment comes, you’re just as helpless as back then until you suffer the blows, ate rejections, took stride in those separating lines from being adequate or otherwise, just --- enough. Then even when you finally gather that experience become hardened and headstrong it becomes an infectious cycle where now, it’s a realm where you look on the opposite reflection to where you stood in the beginning and if you could’ve answered quicker, done better, did anything else to solve dilemmas that you could’ve prevented outcomes that left you defeated and distraught and carrying silence that unaltered you from growth. Even points of your day’s become your comparisons of how those mini moments of you, were variations of when happiness was your wield and that which you represented, stood behind, gave you every validation that this is your definitive purpose. Sickness and weakness holds so much more power than one could envision. If you find yourself under that storm and brave through there’s a magnitude of insight to be found, I learned personally. I ran through a forest incurable and inevitably hopeless, my very vitality is continuously deteriorating, I should’ve been consumed a long time ago. There’s so many things that are sold temporarily, promises, medicated prescriptions, innovative procedures. They all battle against the incurable to be remedy, even against a phantom of unheard... but there’s never anything concrete or guaranteed in this life. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- This boils down to the discovery of genuine acceptance. Which I can explain my meaning. I can’t rely on dining in the Past or Future. The only thing that can be spoken too and fought equally is the Present. Through this enchanting voyage I left a lot of memories to be cherished for lifetimes and with what I’ve produced and shared, eventually I came conflicted of doubt  if I’d ever measure to what I once drew or a piece I did and I believe what I often pulled and was inspired was philosophies of all that I had observance. I wanted to channel and funnel that same energy to aspire to entertain and propel; give the rise of the tides. It meant a world of mine to give and was always my every honor to hear I succeeded sometimes to be even in thoughts or mentioned. It gave me indescribable strength. I love my followers, my peers, friends, truly. I legitimately became painless, nearly invincible, sometimes through all the sharing and writing. All the inspirations constantly kept me fulfilled and mind over matter seemed to be my cure. But I’m not good with asking for help when it matters or involving anyone with me. I like lifting and throwing others to fly other than soaring aside. That cost me, because ignoring still netted me hospitals and gave rise to worry anyway and only delayed and caused more damage than anything. In-turn leaving me in the distance from a lot that I would consider my treasures, my importance. It took sunlight's and days to continue creating and building here in this shade as friendly as home. It feels so right. I felt empowered under this sky. If I’m to shine and light anything like I did once, or to continue the only way I can do that is by letting go of being here. As I mentioned this is difficult to walk away because of what I placed. But all that remainder of energy, I’m going to use on building my vitality and living use this as my catalyst, my passion and anchor. By setting this as a harbor, I have every reason to return one-day against all the upcoming struggles my journey is going to set me on. I’ve little to regret if this is where my epitaph ends. Like my beginning. This necessary goodbye is the only way I’ll be rewarded with a hello. That drives me to sail.

[clockwaysarts]

2021 was a year.

I hit a point of horrible burnout that, despite quitting a job that was destroying me, I’m still recovering from. I entered this year without my best friend by my side because she wouldn’t respect my boundaries and I couldn’t let her own destruction destroy me. My health has been very poor all year; I’ve spent significantly more of it with a migraine than not due to weather and stress. I expect to spend tomorrow in a ball of pain as the temp drops 50 degrees in a matter of hours.

But I’ve also taken the first steps to getting better by quitting that job and trying to give myself time to rest. I’ve made wonderful new friends. I have a new cat.

I didn’t get to where I wanted to be- I didn’t get my store back up and deal with shipping things or get xmas sales up... but also I reached my mini goal of making enough in commissions to pay for my health insurance. And that’s a huge thing for only a few months of trying to get this all together. I made pieces this year that I’m so proud of. I got decent at drawing people for maybe the first time ever. I got to enjoy painting and rendering and casting again.

I’m still not okay- it would be foolish to pretend otherwise. I still have a long way to go in the new year and a lot of to figure out. But I feel I have a chance to get there.

I have so much in the new year that I want to make and create and learn and I hope that even if I don’t manage all of it, I can keep finding my way to a brighter place. Thank you so much everyone here who supports my work with likes and reblogs and kind comments. And thank you so much everyone who supports me through tips or commissions or are waiting for my resin to go on sale again!

All of you help make this all possible and I’m going to work to keep getting there! So from this slightly over wound Clock to you- Happy New Years. May it find all of us working our way to something kinder, brighter, and better.

[cafeinthemoon]

The Home I Crave - Chapter 8

Title: The Home I Crave

Genre: Fanfiction

Pairing: Tobirama Senju x reader

Rating: teen and up

Word count: 2769

Chapter: 8/?

Symbols: ⭕ | ➕ | 💛 | ▶️▶️

Read the previous chapters here: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7

N. A.: I want to use a different gif so badly but I'm afraid that the change would difficult for readers to recognize my story in the tag. Maybe in the next chapters I will change it 😅

Chapter 8 - Invitation

The following days of your marriage were not so different from the first one in terms of establishing a routine and working to follow it, making the necessary adjustments along the way. You convinced yourself that focusing on this while performing your tasks as your father’s advisor was the best way to adapt to your new life.

However, you weren’t still convinced that this was enough to diminish your discomfort, specially when you were at home with your husband.

Tobirama’s routine and habits were not so difficult to understand after all: he had his time to take care of everything and never procrastinated; you soon saw that thanks to his Shadow Clones, he reached a level of competence that a normal person would take years to achieve, or never would. You were still getting used to see them around the house without getting a fright and even worked with them sometimes; they did you favors in return, such as offering you help when you had to do something outside the house or giving you valuable information to make your life easier in the village.

None of this could make you feel that it was easy to deal with the man himself, though. After trying to maintain a light conversation with him two or three times without success – if it was because of his lack of interest in this type of conversation or because you didn’t know how to start them, you couldn’t tell – you found yourself avoiding his company whenever you don’t have to work together. It wasn’t hard: you only had lunch together (Tobirama took his dinner to the office), and when one of you was at home, the other was probably in a meeting with Hashirama, so that you didn’t spend much time in each other’s company. Besides, you barely spoke between yourselves in the few times you both were at the Hokage’s office. It was true that the light mood of the older Senju brother turned things a little easier, but the weird sensation that established itself between you would come back as soon as you left his presence.

Things were even stranger at night. You rarely would go to bed at the same hour: you used to sleep earlier, and while you prepared yourself to bed you would only see Tobirama leaving his office when you went to your bedroom; most of the times, however, he even left the office at all. Sometimes you wondered if he spent the nights there, but there was this time when you woke up in the middle of the night and found the other side of the bed empty; you touched it and noticed it was cold, as if nobody laid there that night, which confirmed your suspicions.

Days have passed since you started living together, but he never took you nor made any advances towards it. Yes, you both agreed in delaying the wedding night because you were tired and weren’t comfortable – you didn’t have a single chance to talk before the ceremony, after all. But the days would come and go and almost no familiarity grew between you two: except for the forehead kiss he gave you during the ceremony, you haven’t kissed yet; you haven’t shared a hug or holding hands either. At first, you considered the possibility of taking the initiative instead of just waiting for him: with only you two living in that house, you had enough privacy; besides, just like the portrait you found at Mito’s house, the real Tobirama was indeed an attractive man. It wouldn’t be that hard to give yourself to him – but he didn’t give you any chance. You never spent much time in the same room except when you were working, and you would sleep first and not see when he’d come to bed while he would wake up and leave before you can notice.

He seemed to be fleeing from you as much you were fleeing from him now.

***

That morning in particular came quieter than you expected, even though you were already used to the silence that dominated the house whether Tobirama was with you or locked inside his office. Maybe this quietness was the reason you didn’t notice the sun was high in the sky and got late to your tasks.

You took care of yourself in a few minutes and went to check your task list: most of the things there still could be done immediately, but some of them you’d probably have to leave for the night now.

You started working as soon as you finished your breakfast and when you looked at the clock again, it was close to lunch time. You stopped what you were doing and went to the kitchen to prepare something.

Most of the times you took the initiative in doing it, both because you were used to make your own food since you started to participate in shinobi missions and because you finally found a weakness in your husband’s lifestyle: sometimes he could get so involved in his work that he would forget to eat or to send a Clone to prepare his meals, so whenever you started to cook, he would know it’s time to stop.

That day, he didn’t appear when the lunch was ready. You found that strange, but soon you were convinced that your delay could be the cause of it. You left the table organized and went to his office.

When you reached the closed door and knocked, nobody answered the call. You knocked again and the silence persisted on the other side. It was when you realized that the abnormal quietness you’ve been sensing was provoked by the absence of the Clones: you haven’t seen a single one of them since you left your bedroom.

That was unusual, you thought. Tobirama didn’t tell you he would leave home the day before, as he used to do. You turned the door handle and frowned: the door wasn’t locked. Could it be that he forgot it open or did he leave in a hurry, maybe to solve some urgent matter? You couldn’t tell.

You pushed the door and for the first time since the day he showed you the house’s rooms, you saw yourself in Tobirama’s office. It was empty as expected. You noticed the same organization and tidiness of that day as you looked around… except for a corner of the table where you saw a white sheet and ink.

You approached and immediately recognized the text of a correspondence. You started reading it without noticing what you were doing. It was a reply to a letter received recently. It wasn’t finished yet.

To the head of the … clan, Fuyuki-sama:

In the name of our Village, it is with sadness and preoccupation that I, Tobirama from the Senju clan, reply to your previous letter. The decline in your second daughter’s health is indeed a worrying matter. But as you asked in your previous letter, I kept this information out of your advisor’s knowledge until further notice. At the same time, all the support Konoha can offer you must be asked in your next letter regarding the preparations for your people’s travel…

You didn’t even touch the paper while reading it, but you stepped away from the table as if you got burned by the text. So, your husband was writing a letter for your father as a reply to a message he sent to Konoha with bad news involving your immediate family and you weren’t informed? Your sister was sick, and nothing was said to you about the nature or the gravity of her state, and not even the possibility of a delay in the travel was discussed with you, your head’s advisor? How could your father do that? That didn’t sound like him! Who could have suggested something of this kind…

- What are you doing here?

You startled when you heard his voice coming from the room’s entry, but you didn’t scream or throw weapons at him this time. Instead of the fear or shame one would feel when caught in a place they shouldn’t be at, you only felt a growing anger.

- Me? I am the one who should be asking – you grabbed the sheet and shook it in your hand for him to see – What are you doing here?

Tobirama didn’t need an explanation to understand what you meant. You didn’t see a hint of embarrassment in him when you showed the letter, not even irritation: the only thing he had for you was something between tiredness and exasperation, as someone who is used to work alone and now sees themselves forced to share their methods with a new and unprepared partner.

That irritated you as nothing else did since you arrived in that place.

Still, you heard what he had to say.

- This morning, a bird with a message from your clan arrived at my office’s window when I was about to leave it. It was sent directly by your father. He said your second sister, who stood in your place after you left your compound, fell sick. He explained that this could cause a delay in the travel because she was chosen to be one of your people’s Captains thanks to her knowledge of farthest territories and he was reluctant in sending someone less experienced as a substitute.

- And what were you going to say to my father about this? – you crossed your arms to hide the trembling in your hands.

- I am going to suggest him to wait until Konoha send a team of experienced ninjas to replace her and work with your clan’s team. They are in better conditions to help your people as they approach our lands. Your sister must stay in your compound and recover.

You were forced to agree that this was the most practical solution to the problem. But you couldn’t agree with Tobirama acting all by himself without consulting you, no matter what your father asked in that letter: she was your sister, after all!

- So you were going to solve this and leave the explanations to the day when my people would arrive at the village’s gates and I start looking for my sister and can’t find her?! Isn’t it absurd to your standards?!

- This absurd, as you say, is the will of your father, y/n-san – he replied without rising his tone – I cannot disrespect it even in his absence.

- She is my sister! I have all the right to know what happens to her! – you started screaming even though it wasn’t your intention, but that was too much – Besides, my father would never ask something like that from an ally! It’s obvious that some grumpy elder suggested that to him!

You tossed the paper back on the table, but didn’t see where it fell. Apparently this attitude of yours displeased Tobirama.

- Maybe they suggested it because they knew this would be your reaction once you found out about your sister – he pointed at the place you threw the paper at; and, after a sigh – Worrying about a sibling is what any normal person would do. I know that. However, your clan sent this letter in an official envelope, so that we must reply according to its content. And the said content included this request. I could not act in contrary, whether you like it or not.

You leaned your hand on the table’s corner, your fingers tapping its surface with anger.

- And where have you been?

- I just came from the Hokage’s office – he replied without hesitation – I asked my brother to send a medical ninja to help in your sister’s treatment. He could not send one of his Wood Clones, because it would not last the whole travel, so he sent one of his apprentices.

You raised an eyebrow.

- And who I should thank for this? Him or you?

This time you sensed a sign of irritation in his manners.

- The best you can do to thank us is to put yourself together and reconsider what you already know about these type of…

- And the best you can do for us now is not speak to me like this! – your patience was now gone and you interrupted him without caring about formalities – I know about all of this better than you can suppose. I have been working on this for years. I know my clan’s head and each elder that works with him as I know myself, so I could even tell you who suggested the secrecy to my father and guess what? He’s not so different from you! That’s why you agreed with that so easily!

You walked toward the door to leave, but afraid that he would stand in your way. Fortunately, that didn’t happen.

But that didn’t mean Tobirama would let you leave without hearing a last word from him.

- You are right, y/n-san – and after seeing you turning your neck in surprise – I do not know your leader and your elders as you do. But whoever this person you talked about is, you should recognize his value in your council. Thanks to the work of people like him, the personal matters of each community member can be kept separated from the public ones, and the individual passions cannot become the cause of a clan’s ruin.

There was something different in his tone this time, though you were unable to tell what. Maybe he was really offended by what you just said, or he was speaking about an old experience with another clan. You immediately remembered what you knew about the legendary rivalry between the Senju and the Uchiha and supposed that his statement had something to do with it. Whatever the case, you wouldn’t stay to discuss it.

You were done with it.

- You have a point in this. Things would be difficult if we didn’t have anyone to guarantee that the laws are being respected. But I am not asking you to disrespect anything. I am asking you to stop underestimating me.

You turned your back without waiting for a reply and left the room. You weren’t sure of what you were going to do with those new, serious information you got by accident, but you would need time to think of something.

A time you didn’t have at that moment, because you didn’t take two steps outside the office when someone knocked on the front door. You went to answered it and found Mito Uzumaki standing on the entry. She was alone, carrying a small bag on her left hand.

You were polite, of course, but didn’t hide the fact that you weren’t expecting visitors.

- Mito-san...? How can we help you?

You must have stared at her for too long or looked too desperate, because she startled at your reception.

- You look pale, dear. Are you alright?

You shook your head, praying for her to give up on asking.

- I am. I just woke up a little late today, so I’m on a hurry with my tasks. I’m a bit tired – and standing out of the door’s way – Do you want to come in?

Mito smiled.

- No, thank you. I have my own things to take care of and besides I don’t want to bother you. I just came to make an invitation – she looked over your shoulder and raised her voice – For both of you.

You glanced behind and saw Tobirama approaching the door. When he stopped close to you, she continued:

- Hashi and I want you to join us for dinner tonight. He knows this has been a busy week for you two, but there are matters he wants to discuss and he might not find another opportunity in the next week.

This last sentence sounded peculiar to you. Hashirama might not find an opportunity to discuss something with his advisor? You looked at Mito again and read the subtle message in her eyes: Hashirama wanted to check on his brother, as much as she wanted to make sure that everything was going well with you. You didn’t know if you should silently thank her or run.

Whatever the case, the final decision ended up not being yours.

- Tell my elder brother that we accept the invitation – Tobirama’s voice was heard behind you – And thank him for us.

Mito nodded.

- I will. See you tonight.

She left in an instant, as if she didn’t want to give you a chance to change your mind.

[heliosthegriffin]

Jaune of the Dead II

  -------------- Two Hours earlier ------------

“C’mon Rubes, you can’t depressed all day just because you’re imaginary boyfriend ghosted you.” Yang said playfully to Ruby.

“He’s not imaginary! He’s taller than dad, blonde, and wears a white trench-coat, I keep telling you this! That the mean Schnee made me blow up, and then he showed up did a glowy thing, and I felt great! Then walked me to the place, and then disappeared like a ghost! Then I found out he supercharged my aura! How do think I could have done so well in Initiation!” Ruby said to her sister rapid-fire.

A tall redhead puts her hand on Ruby’s shoulder. “You shouldn’t sell yourself so short Ruby, accepting your successes is necessary for good mental health, and from what I saw was enough to put some huntsmen to shame.”

Ruby pouts. “Yeah, I know! The thing is I can’t one shot a Nevermore and fly on my own! The thing is I know how strong I am, and I am not strong enough to do those on my own!”

Yang and Pyrrha sigh. 

“Ruby, c’mon you’re awesome! You’re talented and you’re strong, so stop selling yourself short, wait never-mind that does apply to you.” Yang said with a shit-eating grin.

Ruby’s face was a brilliant red as she started pounding weakly against Yang’s arms. “Yannng! I drink milk, I’ll be tall one day!”

“If you say so, Rosebud.”

Pyrrha watched the exchange with a amused smile, feeling very pleased with her team so far.

She hadn’t expected to partner up with a prodigy and her sister, but destiny was full of twists and turns.

Many, many twists, like Yang’s partner and the leader of team BYRN.

Bleiss Schnee.

The notorious Black Sheep of the Schnee household and disowned daughter of Jacque Schnee for reason’s kept private, though considering what she heard of the man in the day she has known Bleiss, it didn’t paint flattering picture why he did what he did.

Who disowned their child based on appearance?

*BZZZ-BZZZ-BZZZZ*

*SNORE-SNORE*

The Black Sheep slept noisily in a dark corner of the room with her limbs thrown all across the bed as she slept under neath a black canopy bed with... her toys all still vibrating under her sheets.

A series of black glyphs floated menacingly around her bed as she slept.

Thankfully the curtains on the side of canopy bed only showed a hazy figure behind the curtains. 

Bleiss had made her team go out last night to celebrate making it through initiation. They had gone to club after club, well Yang and her did, Pyrrha and Ruby left not feeling comfortable on that scene.

Yang had come back to the dorm alone, as Bleiss wanted to find someone to ‘Break her in half while folding her legs over her head,” or to find “A soft little sub to break between her legs.”

Bleiss had somehow come back empty-handed and frustrated.

Then she brought out the toys.

It had been hours before she went to sleep.

She had no idea how Ruby slept through it all, especially Yang screaming bloody murder trying to break her glyphs, which when broken unleashed somesort of insect like grimm that stung Yang without mercy. 

Pyrrha was one-hundred percent sure that she started moaning louder to annoy Yang.

Thankfully, Ruby seemed to know what was going on. Apparently having walked in on Yang in a private moment before, but she still blushed red at noticing what her leader was doing calling it ‘Filthy.’

Pyrrha was also sure that it was a fools errand to try and wake her up for class. Bleiss had struck her as the type to have a couple trips up her sleeve. It did make Pyrrha ponder why she needed defenses why she slept though, but following those paths of thought those only led to dark explanations. Bleiss might make it clear one day if they grew close, and maybe, hopefully, it would have a more happy origin.

Bleiss had also made clear as leader of Team BYRN, she would go to class when she damn well felt like it. She had pointed out a loophole in the Beacon Rule book, apparently she could skip class as long as she maintained a 90% average in her classes, she could not be dropped from the classes. 

A rule that was normally reserved for 3rd and 4th years who often took missions and had spend time recovering and could not attend classes, so were normally given abridged lesson and makeup tests.

Pyrrha had no idea how she going to do it, but she’d try her best to support her leader.

Pyrrha looked back to her teammates, and hopefully friends.

Yang had gotten Ruby into a headlock and was rubbing her head with her knuckles.

“Ah! AH! AH! I yield, I yield!”

“Yeah, you do, who’s the big sister, I’m the big sister, woo-woo!”

Yang dropped Ruby to the ground, who then started pouting.

Then a look of realization hit her. “See that proves it!” Pyrrha raised a elegant brow towards Ruby. “Proves what?”

“That I didn’t do all that crazy awesome stuff at initiation on my own! If I could Yang wouldn’t be able to beat me up like that!”

Pyrrha gave it some thought she had a good point.

Yang flexed her arms. “I don’t though, maybe you’re just making it excuses.”

“Maybe you just a big head!”

Yang smirks at Ruby, and then cups her chest. “I got some big somethings!”

“Ah, Yang!”

Pyrrha shook her head at her teammates antics, then her internal clock told her they had around ten minutes before class started.

Pyrrha gently clapped her hands together, not loud enough to cause shock, but enough to gain attention.

“Ahem, I do believe we have classes soon.”

The sisters looked at each other and then started cleaning themselves up for class.

Ah, she could scarcely imagine the day becoming more interesting.

--- 10 minutes prior ---

Professor Port’s lesson was interesting if veiled behind misdirection. At first Pyrrha had considered that he might be a little self-absorbed, until she started listening closely. He was purposely distracting them with long-winded stories to test their observation skills, which if one actually paid attention to would start to reveal valuable information on Grimm.

Bleiss’s twin had also the same class period as them along with her team, SBRN, Saturn. It seemed Weiss went out of her way to ignore all of them expect Pyrrha, offering her hollow praise and empty compliments.

Pyrrha had politely decline her offer to take notes together. Her team seemed nice, but it was clear there was division among-st them.

Weiss then proved to be as superficial as Pyrrha thought, having clearly been taking notes but not understanding the subtext. Prof. Port had to step in once it was clear the Greater Borbatusk was too much for her, it’s armor plating across its back and head, remained unscratched till Prof. Port grabbed it by it’s tusk and flipped it, cutting it’s belly open.

“Well, children let this be a lesson to you all, that if nothing else remember you have room to grow! And to cut a Borbatusk across the belly! HO-Ho-ho!” Despite his cheery demeanor, Pyrrha couldn’t help but notice the glint of disappointment in his eyes.

Pyrrha wished she had imagined the pleased look in Weiss partner’s eyes at her failure, and her teammates apathy towards their leaders failure. What had she done to sow such discontent in her team?

The class was dismissed and they walked to their next class, a new one if rumors were true, one that had been set up merely a day ago before suddenly being added to their schedule.

What, a odd occurrence.

It was hosted by a new teacher too, one Pyrrha had never even heard of, or the seniors if the rumors where true. But, if the rumors were true, which they usually weren’t, he was the youngest teacher in Beacon history.

How exciting.

Pyrrha, Ruby, and Yang stood outside the door staring at Weiss with her teammates entering beside her.

“I see my sister is not coming to this class, either.”

“Nope.” Yang said popping the p.

Weiss gave them all a haughty look. “Fine by me, that noisy harlot is an annoyance anyway.” She gave Pyrrha a fake smile. “It’s not too late to make the best team in Beacon history,” She looked towards the sisters. “I don’t mind trading one of mind for her to join.”

Pyrrha felt a flash of anger inside her, that was mirrored on Yang’s face, but she quickly suppressed it. “I’m sorry, but,” She put a hand on Ruby’s shoulder, and gave Yang a winning smile. “I feel I’m already on Beacon’s best team.”

Weiss scowled and stomped into the classroom.

Yang simmered before tskking. “What’s her problem.”

“I sincerely have not idea.” Pyrrha actually did if one did consider what was heard about Jacque Schnee. But, best wait before jumping the gun.

“She’s shorter than me, she probably mad she doesn’t have enough milk.” Ruby said seriously.

A snorting laugh echoed out of Yang and Pyrrha.

Pyrrha wiped a tear out of her eye.

Yang laughed. “Yeah, I bet she doesn’t have enough milk!” Yang said giving Pyrrha a knowing nod.

“I’m glad you two understand the power of milk!” Ruby said going into the classroom.

Pyrrha and Yang followed in after Ruby, and where momentarily amazed by the interior of the classroom.

It was bigger on the inside, with shelves of books covering the walls, diagrams and maps covering the walls, not an inch of the room was bare. Where there were not diagrams and books, where glass-cases, and various objects, ranging from swords, glass shards, skeletons, and weird objects that Pyrrha couldn’t hope to identify.

This did not look like the work of a day or two, this room looked as though it had been used for years!

“Wow, impressive.” Yang said from beside her. Then she scowled. “Uh-oh, looks like we got trouble this period.” She said elbowing Pyrrha to get her attention to nod towards a group of people even Pyrrha had no tolerance for.

Team VMMP; Vampire.

Vernal Wennbar

Milita Malachite

Melanie Malachite

Neo Politan.

A team of thugs and low-lifers that had somehow managed to get into Beacon. 

Who, unfortunately had real skill to back up their attitude.

Yang squinted her eyes. “Something is off about them tho,”

Pyrrha had to blink thought to make sure they were the same team, though.

They were so quiet, and actually dressed for class.

Was.. Was Vernal wearing makeup?

No, she must be imagining things.

Pyrrha decided to ignore them and go sit with Ruby, Yang following behind her.

Then they waited, the class deathly quiet. 

Team VMMP unusually quiet had been more than enough to cow the others into silence.

6 minutes passed.

5 minutes passed.

4 minutes passed.

and soon it would be only one minute before class started.

Their teacher, who ever it might be, hadn’t appeared yet.

Then came the sound.

*Clack-Clack-Clack*

Of heavy shoes rhythmic hitting the floor.

It had started near the edge of their hearing, sounding as if it was coming from across the school. Only for it to grow louder and louder, becoming more noticeable till it was evident it was coming towards them.

10:00.

He entered exactly as the 9:59 went to 10:00, right on time.

A head of long, messy, blonde hair came through the doorway, the hair easily coming to his mid-back. His face sharp and judgmental, but looking handsome in a imperious way. Two deep blue bloodshot eyes scanned the room as he went in, underneath his eyes were deep black bags, that spoke of a lack of sleep.

His body language tense and wary, not that much of his body could be seen as hit was covered by a billowy white leather duster, which opened to reveal stained, faded, well worn, and stitched up work clothes and pair of heavy duty work boots.

A sheathed sword on his belt.

That’s not what drew Pyrrha’s attention to him though, no it was her semblance. He was wearing metal gauntlets too over his hands and had some sort of metal armor underneath his clothes or maybe worked into them.

He was also wearing five necklaces, had a dozen rings, and had nearly twenty pounds of things, Pyrrha couldn’t imagine what, stuffed into his pockets. And that was just metal! It wouldn’t surprise her if he had more in there made of other materials.

Why did he have all those things?

She then heard Ruby’s breath hitch. “That’s him!” Ruby whispered to her and Yang.

Before she cold react he spoke.

It was not what she expected.

It was quiet, very quiet, tired too, like he had just woken up. His voice was deep, but raspy like he had a cold. But it commanded attention and impossible to ignore as within its core was a razor thin edge of Power. Of something that made his voice make her her shiver and alert to him.

‘He is dangerous,’ Something insider her warned.

“My name is Jaune Arc, I am eighteen years old, and I will teach you all the in’s and out’s of advanced aura manipulation, Soul Theory, and defense against the Paranormal. Any questions?”

-----------------

9 years and 360 days ago

-----------------

Little Jaune Arc was on his own.

He didn’t get it.

He told his parents, but they laughed at him and told him everything was fine. There was no scary lady in his closet.

He told them again. They laughed again.

He told them everyday, but they weren’t laughing anymore, they were mad. 

They said if he kept making up stories for attention they’d ground him.

When he asked if he could sleep in their room, they said he was a big boy and had to sleep in his room.

Jaune stopped talking to his parents on the fourth day. They hadn’t even gone into his room. It was like that with everyone though, no one seemed to believe him, or want to go near his room!

Alicia was out hunting and out of Scroll range.

He tried Saphron and his elder sisters, but they were too busy for him. Saphron was always talking to Terra. And told him to get more creative if he wanted attention from her. Terra just laughed at him.

June was always on her scroll, and told him to buzz off.

Daisy wanted to watch tv or to paint, and told him he was distracting her, or be a model for her.

Jazz would just turn her music up till he left, or drag him into dancing.

Grace would just make him work in the garden with her, but everything he said went in one ear and out the other.

And the Rachel? 

She is too young, couldn’t even walk yet.

He vented to them anyway. That was a new phrase he learned. He also learned what a phrase was at school.

“I don’t get it,” He said to his youngest sibling. “they won’t take me seriously! I keep asking and asking them to just wait till a storm hits and stay with me, but they just keep laughing, getting mad, or ignoring me!”

Little Jaune Arc grabbed his hair with both hands.

“It’s so annoying! Why is this happening?”

Rachel just played with her toys, pretending to drive a car.

A glint appeared in Jaune’s eyes.

He started playing too. 

He sighed though. 

“What should I do, what should I do?” He repeated to himself.

“I tried to get them to look at the window, but they keep ignoring it, I tried showing them my scars and they said they were from playing in the woods, it’s like everything I say is just being ignored.”

Jaune rolled the toy car back and forth.

Rachel bumped her car into his, pinching Jaune’s finger inbetween the metal.

A light white glow appeared on his hand.

Jaune looked at his finger in wonder.

He focused on it and tried to force the feeling back out.

Nothing happened.

Jaune frowned and looked at his hand.

He grabbed a toy car and slammed at his pinky.

A warm feeling engulfed his pinky as a white light block the car, the car bouncing off of it.

He tried to imagine it being warm again.

A faint white light ghosted over his finger, before dying.

“Hmm,” He looked at his finger. “I have no idea what I just did,” He looked at Rachel. “but, you helped.” He gave Rachel a kiss on the forehead. “Thanks sis, I don’t know if you can understand me, but thanks anyway.”

Rachel looked at him with baby blues and gave a toothy smile and giggled.

“You want to keep playing?”

------------

An: Pyrrha’s more fun to write than I thought she would be. Next up though, on the fan fic list is Arc Acres, then Dead Knight, then Prodigy AU, then Sacred Rites II.

[overdhse]

requested by: @karishmahuss

pairing: jangjun x reader

words count: 1013

genre: fluff

prompts: 19. “How do I make you love me again?” + 56. “I remember practicing how to ask you out in the mirror.” + 65. “I don’t know if I want to yell at you or kiss you.” 

a/n: hello💗 i’m sorry for posting this so late, it took me some time to work on it ㅠ i didn’t reply to the request you sent me because it was a submission to the blog, not an ask, so it was kind of a problem🥲 i hope you’ll like this, thanks for requesting and for waiting for such a long time (this was actually one of the first requests i gotㅠ) 💗

Dating Jangjun was something you weren’t really expecting to happen. If someone had asked you “what is the most irrational and impossible thing that could ever happen to you?”, you would’ve surely said “dating Jangjun”. It’s not like you thought you weren’t enough for him - actually, he should’ve thanked you for allowing him to ask you out on a date for the first time -, but you weren’t really sure about the outcome of this relationship; sure, he was one of the nicest person you had ever met and he literally made you walk on cloud nine, but there was one thing you were sure about and it was that sooner or later your different natures were bound to collide. Even if the first months of dating went really well, you weren’t really surprised to realize that something was about to happen. You could feel that something was off: Jangjun hardly ever texted you anymore, he didn’t spend a lot of time at home and stopped asking you out on silly dates like he would always do in the previous months. At first, you tried to convince yourself that it was just your imagination and that you shouldn’t have worried about such frivolous things. You got used to Jangjun’s absence, thinking it was something temporary that would have gone away as soon as his busy schedules would have been over.

This wasn’t exactly what happened, though. On a cold night of January, while you were laying on the sofa of the living room watching a drama, Jangjun came back from practice.

“Hey.” You said, as he entered the apartment. He looked extremely tired.

“Hey.” He replied, taking his shoes off. Suddenly there was an awkward silence between the two of you.

“I left you dinner in the kitchen.” You said, after a while. You put your earphones on and went back to watching the drama. Jangjun headed to the kitchen and, after less than a minute, he came back.

“How many times do I have to tell you that I don’t like that kind of ramyeon?” He angrily said, violently removing one of your earphones. You stared at him in disbelief.

“Excuse me?” You managed to reply.

“It’s like you don’t know me at all.” He went on. “Do you even know what I am like? I could walk by you and you probably wouldn’t recognize me.”

His words hurt you, especially after all the pain you had to endure because of him. You got up from the sofa and faced him. “You know what? You’re right!” You started yelling. “You’re so damn right! It feels like you’re a stranger to me and my only fault is that I have allowed you to make me feel like shit for the past few weeks!”

The fight lasted for some time, until Jangjun sighed loudly, gave you one last look, turned his back and went out of the door. Your last memory of him is his back heading out of the apartment.

It has been about a month since that fight and the last time you met Jangjun. You haven’t talked, called or texted each other ever since then. The fight affected your mental health and you’re still trying to recover from it and the feelings you have been experiencing ever since that night. Thinking makes it hard to sleep at night, and everyone - if only you had the strength to go out and meet other people - could tell you’re having sleepless nights only by taking a look at the bags under your eyes.

It’s 4 AM and you are in the kitchen for the third time on that night looking for some ice cream to keep you company. “Food will never leave me.” You think, while you’re looking for a spoon. You sit on the sofa holding the cup of ice cream and start looking for the remote control of the television; suddenly, the doorbell rings. You take a look at the clock: it’s only a few minutes after 4 AM. You get to the door on tiptoe and stick your ear to it, trying to find out who is outside of it.

Suddenly, your heart drops. “Y/N, it’s me.” A familiar voice says. “It’s Jangjun.”

You shyly open the door and stare at his face trying not to show your disbelief.

He looks at you from head to toe. “Someone hasn’t been sleeping, huh?”

You blink twice, and move to the side to let him in. It’s the first time you’ve seen him being this quiet. He walks to the middle of the room and stands there, waiting for you to say or do something. As you stay there, next to the door, he clears his throat. “How do I make you love me again?”

Your eyes grow wide and you stare at him in disbelief. “Huh?”

“I’m serious.” He continues, slowly walking up to you. “I am a complete idiot.”

“It’s not like I’d disagree with you.” You say, making him smile. He takes your hand.

“I remember practicing how to ask you out in the mirror.” He says, looking at you with a sweet gaze. “The boys at the dorm always made fun of me.” You blush. “This time I have practiced how to beg you for your pardon.”

“I think you should’ve practiced harder.” You reply, crossing your arms.

“Well, at least you let me in. It’s not like I have already failed.” He says, shrugging. “My dear Y/N, love of my life, would you please forgive me for my attitude?”

“This won’t work with me.” You say, rolling your eyes. “First off, give me a good explanation of why you acted that way.”

He scratches his head. “I think the hectic schedule made me lose my mind.” He explains. “I should’ve focused on good things only. Like loving and worshiping you.”

You giggle. “You’re really stupid.” You say, biting your lip

“Does this mean I’m forgiven?” He asks.

You cross your arms. “Actually, I don’t know if I want to yell at you or kiss you.”

[storybookprincess]

I'm hoping you can help me with some certified Big Sister Advice™ and someone who has more "real world experience" than I do. Obviously if this makes you uncomfortable or you don't have the mental/emotional capacity to reply, please feel free to ignore!!!

I got my first adult job last year and by all accounts I should really enjoy it. Great people. Great pay. Great benefits. I'm even using my degree. But I'm actually starting to be deeply unhappy with it. I'm either stressed or upset near all the time now, and I constantly feel like I'm failing because I get criticism and negative feedback over my main responsibilities regularly. (I am responsible for a magazine so it's cyclical). I am also responsible for advertising, and I'm constantly playing a numbers game that always leaves me losing (re: pandemic + other issues) and it's incredibly stressful as well.

All of this has me on the verge of wanting to quit, but when you remove the emotions, it makes no logical sense. I can save thousands more dollars for grad school by staying at this job for another year. But I'm so miserable that doing this for another year sends me near tears.

I guess at what point do I value the rest of my life and mental health over this job? I'm constantly thinking about work when I'm not clocked in, before I go to sleep, when I'm with friends, in the middle of the night, weekends. The wall of text emails with improvements I need to make ruin my day and I spend my evenings mentally recovering. And I procrastinate everything now.

When is it worth sticking out? Is saving the extra money worth it for grad school which I havent even applied to yet? I could be thousands less dollars in debt if I stay for another year.

And how do I bring all of this up with management?? Preferably without bursting into tears or accidently accusing them of anything. I would stay if things change.

I've never had to make any decisions like this before. Any insight you have would be greatly appreciated.

I love your blog and the positivity you put into the world. Belated Happy Birthday by the way!!!! Thank you for enriching my internet life.

first, my dear anonymous friend, i just want to give you a big virtual hug. it sounds like you're incredibly stressed & really at the end of your rope, and i'm so sorry to hear how hard things are right now.

given that this particular dilemma is a lot bigger than the usual fandom struggles people come to me with, i want to change my approach a little. rather than giving you specific advice about what to do, i'm going to pose a few questions for you to ask yourself so you can come to your own decision. ideally, you'd find some time when you're not feeling extremely overwhelmed & stressed & can think (or write or talk) through these things with yourself with a level head. and hopefully answering them will help you decide what's best for you.

first, what, if anything, is going to change about your current situation?

if your current situation isn't feeling sustainable, do you foresee anything changing that will make it so that it's sustainable? for example, the past two weeks at my new job have been invigorating & fun, but they also haven't felt sustainable. but i know why that is--i've just started & there's a ton i don't know, which is stressful, my commute is eating a total of 1.5-2 hours of my day every day, and my sleep schedule is still getting back on track. but i know all of those things are going to change--i'll learn the ropes, i'm moving this weekend & will cut my commute by 75-80%, and i'll get my sleep schedule fixed with time. given that example, is there anything about your current situation that might change? if there is, what is it & how will it affect your quality of life? if there isn't anything you foresee changing, that's valuable information to have, too.

what non-monetary value are you getting out of this position? and is it worth the hardship?

most of the pithy life advice i see circulated online falls into two categories: 1. "if something is hard & stressful, just stick with it!!!!" or 2. "if something is hard & stressful, just quit!!!!" but both of these philosophies are vast oversimplifications, and the actual answer is far more nuanced & unique to each individual.

instead, imagine that you have a balance scale. on one side is the hardship you'll endure my sticking with something. on the other side is the personal value you'll get out of it. for something to be worthwhile, the value needs to outweigh the hardship. a prime example of this would be a person's decision to stay in medical school. medical school is incredibly grueling & stressful, but it's also the only path to becoming a physician. if a person values their career as a doctor enough that it outweighs the hardship of their training, it's worth sticking it out. but when the hardship outweighs the value, it might be time to reconsider. the answer to these questions will be different for every person. so in your situation, what personal, non-monetary value are you getting out of this job? and do you think it's worth how stressed you feel?

alright, now onto the money question, because i think that's at the heart of your dilemma. so, quite simply, how much money would you need to make for this position to be worth it?

seriously, put a number on it. how much would they need to pay you for it to feel like the job is worth the stress you're enduring? you might say "if i made 75k a year at this job, i think it'd be worth it." or you might say, "honestly, i think it would take 250k--a quarter of a million dollars--to make this feel worthwhile." or, after a lot of considered thought, you might say, "there is actually no amount of money that would make this job worthwhile."

and now compare that figure to your projected grad school debt. if this job will save you 20k in debt, but you've decided you need to make 100k for it to be worth the stress, that's probably an indication that it's not worth the money. if the numbers are more aligned, then you might consider staying more strongly.

and finally, what are your other options?

i think, especially when we're stressed & overwhelmed & burnt out, it's easy to see things in a strict black/white, either/or dichotomy. but in truth, there are usually more options than that. right now, you might be thinking, "i either stick with this miserable job, or i'm going to be drowning in debt when i finish grad school." but i guarantee you there are more options than just those two. for example, could you find a less stressful job with a different company that still pays decently, even if it's not quite as much as you're making now? are there any fellowships or assistantships that could help fund your education? do you have the option to go to school part time & work part time to make things more affordable? if you really give it some thought, i'm guessing you'll find that there are more options than either staying somewhere you're miserable or drowning in student loans for decades.

goodness, this is getting long & it's nearly 11 pm my time & i have to be at work tomorrow at 9, so i'll wrap things up here. i hope this has given you a little more clarity on what the right choice might be for you. again, i'm sorry you're so miserable right now & i'm hoping things will get better soon. hang in there, my friend. i'll be thinking of you <3 <3 <3

[behindheremeraldeyes]

sasusaku month 20

day 3- sleeping soundly

title: power nap

summary: every Tuesday, both Sasuke and Sakura go out for lunch during her break at the hospital. It’s a sacred tradition between them, but what happens when she’s too tired to even walk?

a/n: I tried to make a very cute pic this time so they could take a break from all the stress of being a ninja hahaha I have to admit that this theme made me want to miss the time when I could take more naps, and perhaps, I should start taking them whenever I can XD As always, I hope you enjoy this one! Have fun! PS: This story is still un-beta'd. My beta-reader is quite busy lately and she didn't have time for proofreading this one yet. Sorry for the mistakes you're gonna find!

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Rated K

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According to the big clock displayed above the central desk of the hospital reception, Sasuke had arrived just in time for her break. It was Tuesday, and just like every week, it was the day of their weekly lunch. He was on time, as always, and for some of the staff already knew what he was doing there, it wasn’t unusual for some nurses to look at him and whisper something to each other. Some would even giggle, eventually, and when they did, the Uchiha couldn’t help but wonder if seeing two people going out for lunch together was really that amusing.

It really was just lunch, after all.

A couple of months before, Sakura had been the one who had first created that tradition between them, saying it would be a nice chance for them to bond, and even if he liked to believe they didn’t really need an official reason to meet, the Uchiha eventually decided to play along. Every week since then, she would normally be waiting for him in front of the hospital reception, and as soon as their eyes met, she would greet him joyful before they could go find a place to eat. They would spend some time together, just the two of them, chatting while enjoying a nice and peaceful meal until her break was over. He would walk her back to the hospital, then, and he wouldn’t cordially wait until he made sure she was already inside.

Those were their Tuesdays. Simple, comfortable and consistent. 

They had fallen into that delicate and domestic routine, and it didn’t take long before he grew fond of that unaltered part of his new life. He enjoyed those moments to the point where he would sometimes catch himself growing excited for their weekly encounter and lose a couple of hours of sleep because of that.

Tuesdays had become really great days, for sure. 

And as soon as he saw her smiling, small figure talking to an old lady, he realized they were about to have another good day just the two of them.

When her green eyes made contact with his mismatched ones, a brighter smile lit up on her face and it didn’t take long before she excused herself from what seemed to be just a civilian wanting to chat. Ever since he returned to Konoha, Sasuke realized the pinkette had become quite popular among the elderly, and it wasn’t unusual for them to greet her with a wrinkled smile whenever they saw her on the streets. She would always treat them nicely, he realized, and perhaps that was the reason why they all liked her so much.

She walked up to him, then, yawning deeply as her heels clicked across the hospital reception. Now that she was standing closer, his eyes could see that she seemed to be a bit tired, her eyelids looking too heavy as they threatened to cover her eyes completely. There were dark circles around her eyes, and her breathing pattern was calm and slow. 

Apparently, someone had had a rough day.

“Hey there—” She started, but her words were cut by another yawn that escaped her lips. The back of her right hand went to cover her mouth, and she blinked twice before fully opening her eyes. “—Sasuke-kun.”

“You look tired.” He said, simply, his face unaltered.

She looked at him, lifting her brows in surprise. The pinkette was still not used to how straight-forward he was, but it didn’t take long before her lips curled up. “Is it that evident?”

“Aah.” He agreed. “The dark circles around your eyes are quite big.”

“Ugh.” She pouted, her small hands now touching her face. “I guess not even all that make up could hide them in the end.” She smiled weakly at that, her head tilting to the side.

“Bad day?”

“Not really. It’s just that I got home pretty late last night.” She started, and soon they were walking towards the exit of the building. She stretched her arms above her head, moving her shoulders in order to relax her muscles a bit. "That mission took a little longer than I had initially expected and I didn’t really have much time to sleep.”

“Oh, I see.” He nodded in understatement, remembering she had, indeed, talked about a mission Kakashi had selected her for. If he recalled it correctly, she had been sent to Amegakure so she could help the new governors establish a new health care system based on medical ninjas. It was something the Shinobi Alliance had decided to do together, and though it would cost her many days of going back and forth to the village hidden in the rain, Sakura seemed very excited about the outcome. “At what time did you get back?”

“I think it was around 2am or something like that… I just know Kakashi-sensei wasn’t there when I went to his office to report back.”

“2am?!” He sounded surprised, his brows arching at her words. No wonder why she looked that tired. “And at what time did your shift at the hospital started today?”

“My shift officially began at 7am, but I was already here by 6:30am. I had an important surgery scheduled so I came in earlier to prepare everything.”

His dark eyes grew wider now, and suddenly, he stopped walking. Sakura couldn’t really be serious at that moment. She was basically telling him that she had returned to the village from a long trip around 2 in the morning, and instead of taking at least the morning off, she was already up before 6am and operating at 7am.

Normal people shouldn’t push themselves that hard. 

She had definitely spent way too much time alone with Naruto, he thought.

“You've barely slept, Sakura.”

“I know…” She said, yawning once more. “I'll get some sleep when I get home.”

“And at what time will that be?”

“It won’t take long. Probably around 7pm.” Her voice came out softly and an innocent tone lingered to it. Her eyes held no malice, and at that moment, he really thought she was even worse than the Dobe.

Maybe she had hit her it during the war or maybe it happened during her time spent training with her master, because there had to be something really wrong with that girl’s head. At that moment, she was barely being able to hold herself up, yawning every three seconds, and yet, there she was, all smiles on her face as she was ready to go out with him for lunch. Even knowing about that mission at least 1 week before she had to go, Sakura had decided that it would be okay to sign in for a 12h shift at the hospital the day after she got back. Couldn't she just haven been a decent person and allow herself to get some proper hours of sleep at least once? 

Apparently, the answer was a big, irresponsible and tired no.

Perhaps, he wasn’t the only one who needed to have some sense knocked into him. 

A couple of seconds went by until the pinkette finally realized the Uchiha had stopped in his tracks. She turned around, then, her heels also stopping, as her green eyes were now looking at him with a confused expression. She tilted her pink head to the left, her lips pressed in a thin line. “Why did you stop, Sasuke-kun?”

“Sakura…” He stopped talking, his mind still trying to think about his next words. He knew he had to be helpful without sounding rude, but he could feel an urge to call her annoying running through his veins. Even if he really hated the idea of ruining their little routine, the Uchiha knew better than to believe she didn’t have more pressing needs at that moment. “Do you still have a couch in your office?”

“Yes, I do. Why?”

“Hn.” He nodded, his hand now hiding inside the pocket of his dark pants. “Go back upstairs then and try to get some sleep. You still have most of your lunch break.”

“What?” Her eyes widened and she unconsciously approached him. At that moment, her confused expression melted into a childish pout, and he would be lying if he said that face didn’t make him feel a bit moved. “What about our lunch?”

“We can just reschedule. You need to get some rest if you want to last until 7pm.”

“This is ridiculous, Sasuke-kun. I’m fine. I’m a bit sleepy, sure, but I’m also hungry. Come on, it’s Tuesday…”

The way she was batting her eyelashes at him made his heart skip a beat. Even if her current appearance was affected by her lack of sleep, Sakura still held traces of the cute girl she has always been, and like before, it was still hard for him to say 'no' to her. She had always known how to be pretty convincing around him, and at that moment, even if he knew she could use a power nap— or any kind of nap, for the matter— it was still hard for him to simply give up on their lunch.

It felt selfish of him— futile, even, because, really, it was just lunch— but he really wanted to go out with her so they could spend some time together. They had a lot of catching up to do, and even if he would mostly just listen to her while she talked about something that had happened at the hospital or at her missions, it was always great to see her looking that happy.

After everything that had happened in the past 3 years, Sakura needed happy times in her life. Both of them did. And if their happy could be achieved by doing something so trivial as going out for lunch, then it was worth fighting for it.

However, if she could use that time in order to recover from a tiring mission, how could he deny her such thing?

“You really need to sleep, Sakura.” His voice came out firm and with no hesitation. His eyes were locked with hers, and there was no sign in him that indicated that he would back off from his decision. “It will be good for you if you can rest a little.”

“But—“

“No ‘but's. You look like you were hit by a boulder and we both know how distracted you get when you’re sleepy.”

Her lips parted at his statement, but no words came out from her mouth. Even if she wanted to answer him that she was fine and that she wasn’t really that sleepy, they both knew it would be useless. The Uchiha, if anything, is as stubborn as his blonde best friend, and at that moment, he wouldn’t simply be convinced by her white lies.

A soft smile crossed her lips, then, and she shyly looked down for a bit before her glance returned to his eyes. Her hands were now hiding behind her back, and she bit her lower lip before deciding to talk again. “I bet every girl would love to hear such delicate words regarding her looks.”

“Tch." He scoffed. “You know what I meant.”

“Yeah, I’m just messing with you.” She giggled, softly. “Are you sure it’s really okay?”

“It is, don’t worry. Try to get some sleep and I’ll go fetch you something to eat.”

“What?” She asked, confused, her sleepy head clearly not working well anymore.

“I'll go out and bring you some food. You weren’t really thinking about skipping lunch, were you, Sakura?”

“… Of course not.” She said, looking away from his judging stare. Sakura was clearly lying— or, at least, trying to— and if not for her need to sleep, he would’ve certainly scolded her for being that irresponsible. 

Maybe next time, he thought.

“Hn, yeah, right…” He nodded, his eyes closing before he could start his way towards the exit. Their shoulders brushed as he walked past her, and though he knew she wanted to follow him, he was glad she didn’t. “I’ll be back soon with your food.”

“Fine.” She said, stretching the first syllable. “Next week lunch will be on me, then!”

“Aah.” He agreed, as he continued his way across the room.

“Oh, and Sasuke-kun!” She called his name, and immediately, he turned his head to look at her. She was smiling now, her arms crossed across her chest. “Don't forget to bring your food, too! We can still eat together in my office, right?” The cheerfulness lingering in her voice made his chest feel warmer, and even though her eyes were surrendering to her exhaustion, she still looked quite happy to have found a way for them to be together for lunch. She was smiling softly at him, and even if he had initially planned on bringing her food and leaving her to rest, Sakura had just convinced him to stay. With her joyful features and her sleepy expression, she had just managed to save their beloved tradition. 

It should be okay if he stayed for just a little, right? Just until she could finish her lunch, and then he would be gone. Yes, it would certainly be okay.

“I guess we can. I’ll meet you there.”

“Hai!” She said, and he began walking again. “I’ll leave the window open for you!"

At her words, his lips formed a soft smirk as he finally exited the hospital. Though she would normally tell both him and Naruto not to invade her office through the window, on that day, Sakura figured it would be easier like that. His ears captured the sound of her heels clicking as she turned back, and he just hoped she could get some sleep before he returned with their food.

It was going to be a different Tuesday, for sure, but he figured it should be okay as long as they could be together in the end.

–––––––––

Though there weren't many people in the small restaurant down the hospital street, Sasuke made sure to take his time before ordering so she could have some more sleeping time. With his eyes always checking the clock, the raven haired boy made sure to calculate a decent amount of time— given the circumstances, of course— for her to sleep and eat properly before going back to work.

For they have gone eating together multiple times already, he knew about her taste for vegetables and something lighter for lunch, choosing to order her the special salmon with a bittersweet sauce that was made of honey, rice vinegar and soy sauce. It was a very popular dish according to the guy who worked there, and he hoped she would like his choice.

The food inside the take-out bag was still hot by the time he reached the hospital, and he made sure not to waste a single moment before climbing up the walls to her office. His chakra-coated sandals helped him make his way up, and in no time, he was at her window, which had been left open for him. He was very careful while entering, making sure not to bump on any of her belongings. As always, her office was filled with piles of papers and medical books, and he wondered how she even managed to find anything in the middle of that mess.

Once he was completely inside, his eyes wasted no time before they could start their search for her, and quickly, they found her small and delicate figure still asleep on the couch. She was sleeping soundly, her shallow breaths escaping her slightly parted lips in a smooth rhythm. Her chest was going up and down in a slow rhythm, and if he had never seen her breaking large trees with her bare hands, Sasuke would even believe she was just a defenseless and powerless girl.

Sakura looked really peaceful like that, he thought, as he looked at her with softness in his eyes. She was so calm and tranquil, clearly too busy sleeping to even notice his sudden presence in the room. Back when they were younger and they had to camp outside during their missions, she would always wake up at the slightest noises, but at that moment, he doubted she would wake up unless he literally shook her awake.

She was really tired, for sure. She was all curled up on her couch, her head resting against a crumpled jacket that was serving as a pillow for the moment. Her pink locks were falling forward, covering the seal on her forehead, and there was a small pout decorating her rosy lips. 

Though he has never been the most sensitive person out there, it was undeniable that Sakura looked incredibly cute. His eyes— even if he was probably unaware— looked at her affectionately, and suddenly, a mix of tenderness and empathy coursed through him, and he had to hold back the urge to move her pink locks from her soft face.

He didn’t want anything to disturb her at that moment. She deserved those minutes of pristine silence, and he would do everything he could in order to protect them. After seeing her like that, it didn’t take long for the Uchiha to decide not to wake her up to eat, choosing, instead, to leave her food there so she could eat it later that day. 

The salmon would turn cold, sure, but he figured that she could heat it some other time.

A soft smile took over his lips, and slowly, he made his way towards the couch where she was sleeping. For it was a chilly afternoon, he took his dark coat off, covering her small body in order to keep her warm. The piece of fabric weighted over her small figure, and he watched as she tugged it closer to her with a comfortable expression on her face. After that, the Uchiha found a spot next to her, and since they had decided that they would eat together, he believed that it would be okay if he just ate his lunch there, by her side before it also turned cold.

Slowly and carefully not to wake her up, he fished his sandwich from the paper bag, taking a bite from it and allowing the tomato, the cheese and the basil to mix inside his mouth. The sandwich tasted very good, indeed. It was just a simple thing anyone could prepare, but it still tasted pretty special for him. His eyes would eventually drift from his lunch to her sleepy, little head; and even if her small breaths were the only sounds filling the room, Sasuke couldn’t simply find the words to describe how domestic and pure that whole thing felt.

It felt so casual and intimate, in a way he hadn’t felt in years. His heart skipped a beat at the thought, bringing a shy smile to his lips, and he mentally thanked her for bringing back that innocence to his life. As the months went by, he realized how much that girl alone could do for him— even when she was doing nothing more than sleeping by his side— and he wondered how many other things could she bring into his new life if he just allowed her to.

In a matter of weeks, Sakura had turned his Tuesdays into pleasurable days, and now, he wondered what else could she do were she to take care of the rest of his week.

A sigh escaped his lips, and quickly, he brushed that thought away. After a couple of minutes, he had finally finished his sandwich, satisfied with his pleasurable lunch, and slowly, he allowed his head to fall back a little so he could rest it against the couch. He closed his eyes, for an instance, solely paying attention to the sound of her breaths, lulling him into a moment of pure bliss.

His head was feeling lighter, his breath was matching hers, and suddenly, he felt an odd warmth against his leg. It caught him by surprise, at first, but it didn’t take long before his body grew used to that small contact between them. A feeling of calmness invaded his body at that moment, and soon, he emptied his mind from whatever bad thought could even dare disturb that moment. He felt his conscious slipping from his grip, then, knowing very well what would happen if he just let it go. 

He was going to fall asleep, he knew. He was going to fall asleep on a couch by her side, and even if that would probably be something hard to explain once they both woke up, Sasuke couldn’t find it in himself to care. 

It felt too good. It felt right and even if he had had a good night of sleep himself, he figured he could allow himself to rest for a bit. 

It was just a nap after lunch, after all. Was it really such a bad idea?

No. At least not at that moment. Not on that odd, yet ordinary, Tuesday.

fin.

[tigerkirby215]

5e Ekko, the Boy who Shattered Time build (League of Legends)

(Artwork by Riot Games)

Ekko is a character who’s way better in the lore than in-game. An orphan with a heart of gold doesn’t translate well into this immortal bastard who bursts your entire team before pressing one button to instantly get all his health back. Regardless Ekko has a simple kit that makes him easy to adapt into the meta and very fun to play! And who doesn’t want to time travel?

GOALS

Don't blink! - Shattering time means that you can zip around in the blink of an eye.

I'll help you this time: duck - Batter up! Time stuns coming your way!

If you can’t make the most out of any given moment... - Then you don’t deserve a single extra second. Thankfully we’ll have a lot of chances to make the most out of every single second.

RACE

Ekko is a human but he’s very different from all the other kids in Zaun, making him a Variant Human. As a Variant Human you get a +1 increase to two skills of your choice: choose Dexterity and Wisdom to keep on your feet with your wits about you. You also learn a language and a skill of your choice: your language doesn’t matter much but for skills pick Perception to notice exactly how you can defeat your foe without too many rewinds.

But of course the main appeal of Variant Humans is the ability to get a Feat at level 1, and when it’s time to rewind look no further than the Lucky feat. You have 3 Luck points (or as I like to call them Rewind Die) that you can spend to roll an extra d20 on an attack roll, ability check, or saving throw. You can choose which d20 result you want to use after rolling your Rewind Die.

The best part about Lucky? You can use it against enemies too! If an enemy attacks you you can also roll to potentially make them miss! Remember that you only have 3 rewinds which only come back on a Long Rest, so use them wisely!

ABILITY SCORES

15; DEXTERITY - Shattering time means you can zip around at the blink of an eye.

14; INTELLIGENCE - Ekko created a time travel machine, as well as many other inventions that would put the Pilties to shame.

13; WISDOM - Ekko stays in Zaun because he cares about the people.

12; CHARISMA - Ekko’s a good kid, as evidenced by how many skins he has.

10; CONSTITUTION - You can take a hit but you’re still primarily an assassin.

8; STRENGTH - You’re a kid who fights with nothing more than a bat. A magic clock bat, but not a heavy bat.

Feel free to swap Charisma and Constitution if you want more health but weaker RP.

BACKGROUND

Ekko is an Urchin but he doesn’t really fit the typical description (he has parents, for one), so I’m going to suggest changing it up some. Swap your proficiencies out for Acrobatics and Investigation to puzzle your way though defeating your foes, and your tools for Tinkerer’s Tools and Smith’s Tools to make your gadgets.

But your feature City Secrets still fits you perfectly, allowing you to easily make your way around the streets of Zaun without getting lost. I mean, you probably do get lost sometimes but your party doesn’t need to know that.

(Artwork by Riot Games)

THE BUILD

LEVEL 1 - WIZARD 1

Oh boy my favorite class that I have to spend way too long explaining! Regardless Wizard is the perfectly class for smart kids who use magical time-warping devices. You get proficiency in two skills from the Wizard list and I’d opt for Arcana for knowledge of your Z-Drive and History for knowledge of what happened. Because you were there!

As a Wizard you also get access to Spellcasting. You learn 3 cantrips from the Wizard list: Ray of Frost lets you toss out a Timewinder to slow and damage your foes, Mending will let you reverse any small damage an object may have received, and Message will let you coordinate in team chat. You also learn 6 spells at level 1 with Wizard, but you can prepare a number of spells equal to your Intelligence modifier plus your Wizard level:

Absorb Elements will let you resist some incoming magic before returning it with Z-Drive Resonance.

Alarm will let you know that someone’s coming, or rather reverse time when they do arrive to give you time to prepare.

Detect Magic will help you figure out what any Hextech might do.

False Life can give you a Parallel Convergence shield.

Both Mage Armor and Shield will help you defend yourself and dodge attacks you wouldn’t otherwise be able to avoid.

Need a break from all that time warping? Arcane Recovery lets you recover spell slots equal to half your Wizard level, rounded up. Confused how it works? Read it yourself because I’m bad at explaining it.

LEVEL 2 - WIZARD 2

At level 2 you can choose your Arcane Tradition. Oh man if only there was a tradition dedicated specifically to time manipulation... oh wait Chronurgy Magic, which is automatically one of the better ones because it isn’t a school! Regardless Chronurgy Wizards get Temporal Awareness, letting them add their Intelligence modifier to Initiative rolls.

They can also turn back time with Chronal Shift! As a reaction you can force yourself or another creature to reroll an attack roll, ability check, or saving throw. The target must use the result of the second roll, and you can choose to use the ability after knowing the original result. You can rewind twice per Long Rest but that should be more than enough to find the perfect way around a problem! (Especially with Lucky helping you as well!)

You can also add two more spells to your spell list: Gift of Alacrity is a Chronurgy-specific spell that lets you prepare to add a d8 to a creature’s initiative check, so you can make sure your initiator is the first in the fight! If you want to slow everyone down however Earth Tremor will force enemies in an area to make a Dexterity saving throw or be knocked prone, and regardless of if they succeed or fail they’ll still be slowed by difficult terrain!

LEVEL 3 - RANGER 1

What? You didn’t think this was just a pure book nerd build, did you? Nah Ekko’s a special kid who knows Zaun like the back of his hand: sounds like a proper city Ranger! You get proficiency in one skill from the Ranger list when you multiclass, so grab Insight to know what people are going to do after they did it... before they did it!

Class Feature Variants is an Unearthed Arcana that’s soon going to be made official so I’m going to use Ranger features from that PDF instead. Deft Explorer lets you choose from one of three benefits: Roving lets you speed yourself up by 5 feet and also gives you a climbing speed to climb clock towers and a swimming speed to... swim. Favored Foe meanwhile lets you cast Hunter’s Mark a number of times equal to your Wisdom modifier without using Concentration, for some more Z-Drive Resonance!

LEVEL 4 - RANGER 2

Second level Rangers get a Fighting Style and I figure now would be a good time to talk about Ekko’s weapon: he uses the clock needle of his as a bat most of the time but a club is a simple weapon that uses Strength and does very little damage. As a Ranger you have proficiency in martial weapons so I’m pretty sure that needle could be passed off as a short sword. Fight the short sword in your main hand and nothing in the other, or grab a shield just for the sake of the AC: regardless Dueling will make your sword do +2 damage.

You also get access to Spellcasting! Again! Check chapter 6 of the Player’s Handbook for information on how multiclassing between full casters and half casters works, but you get two first level Ranger spells: to dash in and strike an important target Zephyr Strike will let you avoid opportunity attacks and do an extra d8 damage on hit, letting you ride Z-Drive Resonance out with 30 more movement speed. If you want to stun a target for a beat down Ensnaring Strike will restrain them with vines. Time vines! Yeah...

LEVEL 5 - RANGER 3

Third level Rangers can choose their Ranger Conclave (or subclass as its otherwise known.) Time to up the Z-Drive with Horizon Walker! Horizon Walkers can Detect Portals within 1 mile of them but that’s not important. What’s important is that they have Planar Warrior, letting them use their Bonus Action to make their weapon do magic (Force) damage and deliver an extra d8 damage thanks to Z-Drive Resonance! (I’ve been mentioning that a lot, haven’t I?)

You also get Primal Awareness from the Class Feature Variants UA for the ability to cast Detect Magic and Speak with Animals once per Long Rest without using a spell slot. Think you’ve got enough magic? Well Horizon Walker Spells give you Protection from Evil and Good as a Ranger spell, and you can add one more spell to your list like Jump to Phase Dive across leaps and bounds... look level 1 Ranger spells suck give me a break! Take Cure Wounds if you want something more useful!

(Artwork by Riot Games)

LEVEL 6 - RANGER 4

4th level Rangers get their first Ability Score Improvement: to keep elusive and hit hard with your bat shortsword get more Dexterity.

LEVEL 7 - RANGER 5

5th level Rangers get an Extra Attack, letting them attack twice when they use the Attack action. It should be mentioned that Planar Warrior will only make your first attack forceful while your second attack will do regular damage.

You can also learn second level Ranger spells like Pass Without a Trace. You’ve got all the time in the world to sneak around, and you’ve also got all the time in the world to figure out why the Ranger spell list sucks so much where you refuse to take Healing spells. At least you get access to Beast Sense and Locate Animals or Plants thanks to Primal Awareness, and Flash (I mean Misty Step) from your Horizon Walker Spells!

LEVEL 8 - RANGER 6

At 6th level you get another ability from Deft Explorer: Canny lets you learn one skill of your choice from a given list, and get Expertise in any of those skills that you know. (That isn’t quite how it works but that’s how I make it work for convenience's sake.) Expertise in Perception will let you spot any valuable junk in the Zaun trash heaps, and Stealth proficiency will help you get away with your loot! You also learn two languages which uhhh... just pick whatever really. You’ve got plenty of time to talk to people.

LEVEL 9 - RANGER 7

7th level Horizon Walkers can phase out of time with Ethereal Step, letting them cast Eternalness for a turn once per short or long rest. Not something that Ekko can normally do but you can accomplish a lot while messing with time.

Speaking of accomplishing a lot you get another spell: Darkvision will help your regular human eyes see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch! Wait...

LEVEL 10 - RANGER 8

8th level Rangers get another Ability Score Improvement: max out your Dexterity to be as quick as you can when striking down your foes. You also get Land’s Stride to move through difficult terrain without using extra movement, avoid taking damage from nonmagical plants, and have advantage against magical plants. How does a kid from Zaun know his way around dangerous plants? Well you had plenty of time to read up on botany.

(Artwork by Jason Chan, Senior Concept Artist at Riot Games)

LEVEL 11 - RANGER 9

9th level Rangers get access to third level spells. With Primal Awareness you learn Speak with Plants (look, I can’t justify everything in this build. D&D isn’t Runeterra), and as a Horizon Walker you get access to Haste! You can also find your ways around the dark streets of Zaun more easily thanks to the spell Daylight.

LEVEL 12 - RANGER 10

10th level Rangers can get the last feature from Deft Explorer: Tireless lets you spend an action to give yourself temporary hit points equal to 1d10 + your Wisdom modifier. You can do this a number of times equal to your Wisdom modifier, and you regain all expended uses when you finish a long rest. Additionally your Exhaustion goes down by 1 every time you finish a Short or Long rest.

And while Hide in Plain Sight may make more sense for Ekko, Fade Away is just so much better. You can use your Bonus Action to turn invisible for a turn! Maybe you turned back time to the DOTA days when Shadow Blade was an item you build buy? Yeah I know DOTA.

LEVEL 13 - RANGER 11

11th level Horizon Walkers can finally Phase Dive with Distant Strike! When you take the Attack action, you can teleport up to 10 feet before each attack to an unoccupied space you can see. Additionally, if you attack at least two different creatures with the action, you can make a three hit combo against a third creature!

You can also learn another spell at this level, and while there are a lot of options to choose from I’d personally suggest some magic resistance. Protection from Energy will let you put on an Adaptive Helm to resist a certain type of elemental damage.

LEVEL 14 - RANGER 12

12th level Rangers get an Ability Score Improvement and since your Dexterity is maxed out now would be a good time to hit the books and increase your Intelligence!

(Artwork by Riot Games)

LEVEL 15 - WIZARD 3

Hey remember when we took levels in Wizard way back at levels 1 and 2? Well third level Wizards can learn 2nd level Wizard spells! Blur will make it harder for an enemy to hit you unless they can sense where you really are, and if you want even more chances to turn back time Fortune’s Favor is a spell reserved to Chronurgy Wizards (and Graviturgy Wizards) that lets them give themselves or an ally some more time with an extra d20 to roll in case they’re in danger!

LEVEL 16 - WIZARD 4

4th level Wizards get another Ability Score Improvement: more Intelligence will help with all the time manipulation.

You can also add another 2 spells to your spellbook, and you learn another cantrip! Sapping Sting is a Dunamancy-specific cantrip and it can make your opponent trip! If you want to be even harder to hit Mirror Image will let your time doubles do some distracting for you, and if you want to shake off the time police Nystul’s Magic Aura will make it easy to fool the Pilties.

LEVEL 17 - WIZARD 5

5th level Wizards can learn third level spells: you can already speed up time with Haste but Slow will let you do the opposite to your foes! But if you want to Phase Dive around the battle field some more at risk of glitching out time Blink is the spell for you! "The timeline was already this broken when I found it. I swear."

LEVEL 18 - WIZARD 6

Isn’t it funny how it took this long to get Parallel Convergence’s stun? Momentary Stasis takes an action to force a large or smaller creature to make a Constitution save or be unable to move. The effect ends if they take damage or at the end of your next turn, but that should be plenty of time to either set up or run. You can do this a number of times equal to your Intelligence modifier and regain all uses at the end of a Long Rest.

Speaking of stuns: Hold Person from second level will let you stun an enemy for quite awhile, and you can still hit them! But if you want to turn back your opponent’s spells? Good ol’ Counterspell.

LEVEL 19 - WIZARD 7

7th level Wizards can learn 4th level spells: to travel far and get out of danger Dimension Door will let you warp out of the way. If you want some protection from time warping around you Intellect Fortress is an Unearthed Arcana spell that gives resistance to psychic damage, as well as advantage on Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma saving throws.

LEVEL 20 - WIZARD 8

Our capstone is the 8th level of Wizard for your last Ability Score Improvement: if you want to maximize the effectiveness of your time manipulation increase your Intelligence, but if you want more combat features from Ranger Wisdom will give you more charges for those abilities.

And you can grab your last two free Wizard spells. After this you’ll have to (gasp!) read! For some retributive damage Fire Shield will make you foes think twice about hitting you. But if you want to bring your foes back to the future look no further than Polymorph, to turn people into dinosaurs!

WHAT I DIDN’T USE

Just a quick mention of some of the options I didn’t use for this build, since I think that a lot of questions will be asked about them:

Echo Knight - Sort of the first thing you think of because... you know... Ekko Knight? But truth is that while Ekko gets a time clone for some of his abilities he doesn’t really use the clone to fight? If you want a time fighter that uses clones however I would suggest my Isaac build (Skullgirls)

Divination Wizard - Some people (especially those without Wildemount) might ask why I picked Chronurgy Wizard over Divination. I mean other than the fact that Chronurgy is literally the time Wizard? Well other than that it’s because while you can reverse time you don’t know the outcome of all fights. Adding intelligence to your Initiative also works to simulate Ekko’s speed.

Artificer - Ekko builds his own stuff but put bluntly none of the Artificers really fit his abilities. He doesn’t make potions, doesn’t have a robot dog, definitely doesn’t have a gun, and certainly doesn’t have an Iron Man suit. (That’s on Viktor!)

FINAL BUILD

PROS

This is how we say “hello” in Zaun - You aren’t exactly the most damaging combatant, but you have tons of tricks to up your DPS, all while keeping safe yourself.

Show me something new! - Investing in both mental stats means you’ve got some really good skills. 24 passive perception, anyone?

One more time! - Who would’ve guessed the ability to rewind time would be a lifesaver? Five rerolls per day, three of which you can pick the result from means that you should never be rolling bad. And you aren’t even a Halfling!

CONS

Good a time as any to act reckless - Double the spellcasters means that you can’t get the best of both stats. While it isn’t a big deal since most of your spells are buffs your low Wisdom score means that you won’t be able to use your Ranger features very often.

That worked in another timeline - Wizard levels and a neutral Constitution score means that your health is subpar to say the least. Rewinding won’t save you from Power Word Kill.

I need to rethink a couple things - In order to get Momentary Stasis we had to skip over Spectral Defense from Horizon Walker level 15. Truthfully while Momentary Stasis is nice for a stun you would’ve been far better off further honing your combat skills: the extra Rewinds from Chronurgy 2 was already more than enough of a boost.

But Zaunites know how to work with what they’ve got. Make the best out of a bad situation and use your wit to outsmart any foe! And maybe chat with the Rogues and the Fighters to see if they’d like some time to be Bards? If you move too fast it’ll be like moving in slow-mo.

(Artwork by Riot Games)

[dragonrajafanfiction]

Aftermath: Johann

“Lu Mingfei successfully underwent surgeries for his injuries and will recover without complications. Agent Meixiu appeared unhurt. Her brain scan and physical exam showed she should be conscious, but her eyes stay shut, her breathing slow and even as if asleep.”

“She has been diagnosed with idiopathic catatonia and is undergoing treatment. However, there seems to be a strong motivation to avoid interacting with the world.”  Dr. Toyama looked up from his clipboard at Principal Anjou.

Based on this Chapter

Master List

They were seated in a small private side office, cups of warm tea between them. “I can’t help her, if she doesn’t talk to me.”

Anjou set his tea cup down. “It is unlikely that she will talk to you about this. Like Mingfei, there are secrets she must keep.”

Toyama pressed his lips together in a line. “From the beginning, it has been my mission to maintain her mental health. However, at this point, I feel like my main mission is to prescribe her drugs to ease her pain as her mental state continues to deteriorate. That is not what I went to school for, sir.”

They sat in silence, the ticking of the clock on the wall the only sound in the room. Finally, Anjou spoke. “Talk to Mingfei when you are able. Perhaps, using him as a go-between will help you treat her. That is all I can suggest for now.” He looked up. “Unless, you can try to speak with Johann Chu. He spends a lot of time with her. There may be a way to break through.”

He wrote a small note on a napkin. “If Schneider gives you trouble, just give him this.”

Dr. Toyama made his way to the Lionheart’s Club base. Susie directed him to Johann’s office where he was sitting behind a desk, reading. The young man closed the book as he entered and he spotted the name of the author on the cover. “Anna Freud?”

Johann didn’t answer. “I don’t have an appointment today.” 

Toyoma closed his eyes momentarily to calm the anxiety he felt every time he looked Johann Chu in the eyes. “I’m not here for you. I’m here for Agent Meixiu.”

“Agent… Then there was a mission.” 

Johann’s voice was calm but his quick conclusion made Toyama flinch. Unable to give any details, he had no choice but to continue. “I need your assistance. She will not respond in any way to the outside world. She refuses to eat or drink or speak. We are providing medications to ease her anxiety… however, she’s quite determined to play dead.”

Johann’s voice was quiet.  “She’s not playing dead. She’s trying to survive.”

Toyama’s lips quirked up in a smile. “It was suggested that I talk to Mingfei about her continued mental health treatment. However… I’m starting to wonder if you might be a better choice.”

Johann suddenly let out a breath, his shoulders relaxing. “So Mingfei is alive.” There was no emotion or inflection in his voice. “I don’t know if I’m better. You’re the expert.” He stood up and opened a drawer in his desk, removing his phone. “What room is she in?”

“That information I can’t give you. But if you go to the hospital and ask to see her, they will direct you.”

As he walked by, Johann paused, whispering. “Thank you.”

When Johann asked to see Meixiu, at first, he was met with a bunch of confused looks as she didn’t appear on the admissions logs. But they called the head nurse who gave him a small clearance badge and directed him to the secure area.

He already knew where that was.

The massive double doors were watched by four manned security cameras. As soon as he held up the badge, the doors unlocked and were opened by the people eyeing him. He walked through. 

There were only five rooms in this section. Only one had a chart in it. It was dark, the curtains drawn, the lights off.

He eyed the heart monitor with its steady strong rhythm. This wasn’t like her. Something extraordinary must have happened to make her have such a strong avoidant reaction. He lowered his eyes at the thought that maybe he was not enough. If she refused to wake up for him, that would mean that his feelings hadn’t reached her.

Was this the pressure the Princes felt like at the side of Sleeping Beauty and Snow White? 

He pulled a pair of earbuds out of his pocket and placed one of them in her ear. The other he put in his own ear. He then started to play the music on his phone.

As soon as the piano began to play, there was a change in her heart rate. She sighed through her nose. It was the instrument and arrangement he was most comfortable with. She had told him that she wouldn’t be able to dance to it unless she heard the meaning. It would be up to him to convey that.

After a few moments with the piano prelude, her heart rate returned to calm. He watched her face as the recording of his voice started to play. He’d tried his best to imitate the native Irish accent the song was meant to be sung in.

The trees, they grow high, and the leaves, they do grow green

Many is the time my true love I've seen….

Her lips parted in surprise and her eyes opened and immediately trained on him. She sat up in shock. He took her hand.

Many an hour I watched him all alone

He's young but he's daily growing…

Her eyes filled with tears and she began to sob, but she was smiling. “You bastard…”

He sat next to her and she nestled her head against his chest.

Father, dear father, you've done me great wrong

You have married me to a boy who is too young

I am twice twelve and he is but fourteen

He's young but he's daily growing

To passers by, they were completely silent, but to Carli, he was singing.  He was singing to her, his voice lifting and falling with the Irish tremor and lilt. 

Daughter, dear daughter, I've done you no wrong

I have married you to a great lord's son

And he will be a man for you when I am dead and gone

He's young but he's daily growing

Tears slipped down her face in an endless stream, one after another, finding their way out from under her closed lids. His arm moved under her arm and around her back, his fingers intertwined between hers. Seated on the hospital bed, they rocked back and forth.

One day I was looking over my father's castle wall

I spied all the boys playing with a ball

And my own true love, he was the flower of them all

He's young but he's daily growing….

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5pERSn7QK_8

[antiquatedfuture]

Zine Care Packages (Antiquated Future Spring Newsletter)

What a challenging time. Things have felt pretty bleak and I debated about whether to send this spring newsletter a lot, but friends convinced me we're all in need of good news. If nothing else, I want to say two things: 1) We'll still be shipping orders (with plenty of hand-washing and sanitizing) several times a week. 2) While we always appreciate and need your financial support, we'd also like to offer the resources we have to any of you who are having a hard time. 

In short: We're offering free zines (and tapes and books) to anyone who's currently struggling financially, mentally, or physically right now. No need to tell us details, just email and say "I'd like a package," and we'll send one your way. Let it be a surprise or make a list of what you'd like and we'll send you what we can. Feel free to spread the word to your friends and community through our Facebook or Twitter posts. It's not much, admittedly, but hopefully it's something.

In more general distro news: we have a few more calendars & planners in stock (and very very on sale), we’ve been restocking things as much as we can, and we accidentally left up our temporary store-wide cassette sale (that also includes a decent handful of LPs and CDs) as well as our zine sale on select titles. We also just posted a newsletter from the record label side of Antiquated Future. We're currently lending some small financial assistance to Portland writer Martha Grover as she recovers from a brain surgery by selling a fundraiser pack of her Somnambulist zine. And if you're in the Portland area, we're helping do porch deliveries of food, baby supplies, and various resources. Please reach out if you'd like one or you know someone in need.

NEW ZINES Antonia- A rare, almost-sublime zine about place, memory, and lost history. About the ways things change and stay the same. About how the place you're from shapes who you become. About growing up in a small Midwestern town without a zip code, a place not on most maps. ($5) Behind the Zines #9: A Zine About Zines- The latest issue of newest best zine about zines around. Within: the evolution of DIY comics culture, zine-fest history, imagined zines, One Punk's Guide to collaborative zines, a history of that one Crimethinc poster, The Most Unwanted Zine, confessions of a sex-zine zinester. Contributions from our own Gina Sarti, as well as John Porcellino and so many others. ($3) Brainscan #34: A Dabbler's Week of DIY Witchery- In the wake of the controversy surrounding a recent viral article about spending a week "becoming a witch," Alex considers what her guide to a witchcraft practice would look like. The results are a day-by-day guide to trying out her particular variety of secular witchcraft (that she lovingly refers to as "DIY witchery"). ($4)

Caboose #12: Jury Duty- A personal story of serving as a juror on a medical malpractice suit. As usual, Liz Mason's playful, endlessly curious take on the world makes this a ride worth taking. A peek into the court system through the eyes of this long-running zine-star. ($4) Clock Tower Nine #15- One of our favorite Seattle zines is back with tales from the record store counter, long walks in various locales, dangerous doppelgängers, and 8-track tapes. As Clock Tower Nine ringleader Danny Noonan describes it in the introduction: "This fanzine is like a bunch of people sitting around a fire in late fall, all taking turns telling a story." ($3) Cometbus #59: Post-Mortem- How does Cometbus, after 38 years as a zine, just get better and better? It's a mystery, but it does. Issue 59 is a deep dive into both death and longevity in the underground. In short: what does sustainability look like in counterculture? This question takes Aaron on a journey from the Epitaph Records and Thrasher magazine offices to hanging out at a punk-owned vegan donut shop and a tamale stand at the farmer's market with Allison Wolfe (of Bratmobile). ($5)

Doris #23- A back-issue fave from one of the best zines ever. Long personal stories that look both outward and inward in surprising ways. ($2) Doris #26- Shy-punk-girl comics, social ecology, the cynical hour, a grandpa who built malls, hammer and nail history, and more. ($2) Eulalia #3- Two issues of the art zine Eulalia in one. Grief and romance, hand-in-hand. Gorgeously designed! Letterpress-printed covers. Each issue is bound with a special do-si-do binding, so each half can be read separately. ($10) Fluke Fanzine #17- Since 1991, Fluke has been creating great variety zines covering all realms of punk and underground culture. Graphic novelist Nate Powell, skateboard magazine historians, Maximum Rocknroll, R.E.M., '90s women-led punk, the Soophie Nun Squad family tree, more. ($3)

Forever & Everything #5- Comics on parenting, depression, coffee, therapy, alcohol, Willie Nelson, Charlie Brown, and living in New Orleans. ($5) Good Days Gone Cold Days- A photography zine/art zine made while living and working in "a house without heat, without doorknobs, and without much insulation or electricity to speak of" for a late fall in western Pennsylvania. Comes with homemade bookmark, building permit, and banjo tab. ($12) Keep Loving, Keep Fighting #8- A reprint of this 2008 issue of Keep Loving, Keep Fighting. Forty pages of feeling at home in New Orleans, communication between friends, death, visiting Montreal, and moving away. ($5)

Learning Good Consent- An essential compilation zine about consent. From personal stories to worksheets, approaches, definitions, resources, and beyond, Learning Good Consent is here to help us all feel more comfortable and be more respectful. ($4)

Little Leagues #1- The companion comics scrapbook to Simon Moreton's epic Minor Leagues series. Prose, comics and photos about being in Japan, making chutney, experiencing autumn. ($3) Little Leagues #2- Comics about being in the snow. Drawings and photos of spring. A fold-out cover with facts about lesser-spotted dogfish. ($3) Our Lady of Near Death Experiences- Jodi Darby writes about becoming a cross-country truck driver as a 23-year-old woman in the mid 1990s. A mini-memoir told in vignettes, Our Lady is a twisted love song to the road in all its complexities. A gorgeous reprint of this zine classic from 1998. (And we have the last few copies before it goes out of print!) ($10)

The Paruretic #1: The Story of a Guy Who's Pee Shy- The first issue of one of our favorite new zine series. The Paruretic tells what the intricacies and complexities of life with parusesis, the social phobia of being pee shy. Illuminating, accessible, and worth reading every issue. ($2)

The Paruretic #2: The Story of a Guy Who's Pee Shy (College)- In this issue, Mark recalls figuring out the debilitating effects of his bladder issues when he goes to college and, for the first time, navigates living in dorms, drinking at college-town bars, and hooking-up. ($3)

The Paruretic #3: The Story of a Guy Who's Pee Shy (Vacation)- In this issue: searching out acceptable bathrooms while on the road, not urinating for ten hours while in the air, and a bathroom-by-bathroom diary of experiences. ($3) The Paruretic #4: The Story of a Guy Who's Pee Shy (The Search for Help)- In this issue, Mark reaches out, looking for help, and is met with a less-than-sympathetic medical system. Within: clueless medical professionals, almost losing a job over a urinalysis, and finally finding someone who understands. ($3) The Paruretic #5: The Story of a Guy Who's Pee Shy (Dating)- The dating issue covers how Mark handled (or avoided handling) dating in high school and college. It's a chronicle of, as Mark says, "how my shy bladder has driven every part of my love life." ($3)

Somnambulist Zine Pack Fundraiser- For the past 17 years, Portland memoirist and illustrator Martha Grover has been publishing Somnambulist zine, an expansive and playful look at the world at large (and easily one of the best zines running today). This pack includes all nine in-print issues of Somnambulist (a $40 value for $25!). All proceeds go straight to Martha's brain surgery recovery fund. Help a great writer, get nine amazing zines. ($25) Somnambulist #33: How to Survive the Portland Winter- A fun how-to guide from Portland-born writer Martha Grover. Within: dealing with all the rain, taking care of your mental health, venturing out, staying in, eating soup (with recipes!), and the truth about umbrellas. Illustrated by Liz Yerby. ($5)

Somnambulist #34: The Starfish- A single, long-form essay about Martha's journey through Cushing's disease and Addison's disease, and the lingering tumor she's chosen to not demonize or see as something separate. The Starfish is a surprising and exciting meditation on what it means to be in a body. ($3) Surely, They'll Tear it Down- A short zine letter about gender, race, identity, and not-knowing from the author of Fixer Eraser and We, the Drowned. ($2) Tattoo Punk Fanzine, Issue 3- A jam-packed new issue of Tattoo Punk, the fanzine about tattoos, punks, and tattooed punks. Edited by Ben Trogdon of everyone's favorite artsy punk paper, Nuts! ($15) Valentines Every Day- Weirdo anytime-valentines from zine-seller extraordinaire, Julie Wade. Funny, bizarre, off-kilter, occasionally unsettling. The perfect gift for that especially-odd someone. ($6) What Happened- A dreamy comic from UK artist Simon Moreton. Set in a '90s boyhood of meadows, sci-fi VHS tapes, MTV, crushes, first kisses. ($5) 

NEW BOOKS & MISCELLANY The Collected Plays by Portland Preschoolers- In short: One of our favorite little books around! A modern classic, even. Five years of collected plays written by Portland, Oregon preschoolers. Hilarious, invariably bizarre, oddly brilliant, sometimes surprisingly profound. Perfect for putting out on the coffee table, reading aloud to friends, impromptu group performances. ($10) Four-Year Depression- A book about figuring out how to love your family in the Trump era. From Billy McCall of Proof I Exist and Behind the Zines. ($10) Zine Game- A long-time favorite in the zine community, now in a fancy, professionally-made version accessible to all game lovers. Playing like a cross between canasta and Magic: The Gathering, Zine Game is all about building your own zines. A really fun time with tons of possibilities. ($16)

NEW MUSIC & SPOKEN WORD Alice Notley "Live in Seattle"- An LP of one of the most adored living poets. Alice Notley pushes boundaries, and it's an absolute joy to hear her reading her work. (LP + digital download) ($16.95) Annelyse Gelman & Jason Grier "About Repulsion"- A collaboration between poet Annelyse Gelman and sound artist Jason Grier. About Repulsion mixes songs, sampled poems, textural walls, beats, noise, to create this EP of one-of-a-kind soundscapes. (LP + digital download) ($16.95) Eileen Myles "Aloha / Irish Trees"- The legendary poet Eileen Myles, on vinyl for the first time. Aloha/Irish Trees features nearly an hour of Myles live in the studio, reading past and present poems. Intimate, playful, raw. (LP + digital download) ($16.95)

Harmony Holiday "The Black Saint and the Sinnerman"- Harmony Holiday's record of poems and sound collage. Adventurous and accessible, twisting cultural images into something surprising, political, socially aware. In conversation with Charles Mingus’ classic 1963 album The Black Saint and the Sinner Lady. (LP + digital download) ($16.95) Rae Armantrout "Conflation"- Fifty-four surprising and gloriously unique poems from Rae Armantrout, a Pulitzer-winning poet of great gifts. (LP + digital download) ($16.95) Susan Howe & Nathaniel Mackey  "Stray: A Graphic Tone"- Made in collaboration with Shannon Ebner, Stray: A Graphic Tone juxtaposes historic and recent material from poets Susan Howe and Nathaniel Mackey. An adventurous LP of spoken word delights. (LP + digital download) ($16.95)

Stay well, take care of each other as much as possible. Xo, Antiquated Future

[whitetomatoes]

9 Professional Athletes Share The Workout and Fitness Tips That Got Them to the Top

As a reader of Men's Health, it would seem a fair assumption that you know what's required to stay healthy, both in body and mind. Less known, however, is how the men and women at an elite level keep themselves at the top of their game for years — sometimes decades — on end, surpassing feats that previously weren't thought possible.

Below, we've compiled nine case studies from our annual Body Issue, an edition of Men's Health that celebrates a tapestry of world-beating champions, each with a body that's built for purpose — whether that's running 26.2 miles in under two hours, hoarding gold medals at the Olympics or being crowned The Fittest Man on Earth consecutively for four years. This is what it takes to reach the top.

Eliud Kipchoge The Greatest Marathon Runner of All Time: 35-Years-Old, 170cm, 56kg

In most sports, the issue of who is the GOAT is a matter of endless contention. In the world of long-distance running, however, there is simply no dispute: Eliud Kipchoge is the most extraordinary athlete over a distance of 26.2 miles that the world has ever seen.

In 2012, the remarkable Kenyan finished his first half-marathon in under an hour, the third-fastest debut ever. A year later, he won his first marathon in Hamburg, beating the field by more than two minutes and setting a course record.

For his first major in Berlin, just a few months on, he came second behind former world-record holder Wilson Kipsang. Even then, he still posted the fifth-fastest time in history. Since that relative disappointment, he has won every marathon he’s run on the world stage, including the gold medal at the Rio Olympics. That’s 11 in a row, including Berlin and London four times.

Then, last October in Vienna, Kipchoge set out to achieve the impossible. The sub-two-hour marathon had been mythologised possibly even more than the four-minute mile. He had trained relentlessly, clocking 140 miles per week, combining punishing speed sessions and strength training, all at high altitudes. But it was perhaps Kipchoge’s mental strength that proved decisive in Austria.“Some people believe it is impossible,” he said before the event. “My team and I believe it is possible. We will prove them wrong.” When Kipchoge broke the tape in Vienna, one hour, 59 minutes and 40 seconds after he started, he not only proved his doubters wrong – he turned a collective dream into reality.

"I believe in a calm, simple and low-profile life. You live simply, you train hard"

“It’s not just the speed at which he runs and the incredible endurance that sustains him,” says Rick Pearson, senior editor of Runner’s World. “It’s the way he does it. Kipchoge’s running style is a thing of beauty – pure poetry in motion. It’s smooth, it’s serene, there’s no wasted effort. And somehow, he tops it all off with a megawatt smile.”

Indeed, what makes Kipchoge’s achievements all the more astounding is his humility. In between running, he works on the family farm, collecting and chopping vegetables. “In life, the idea is to be happy,” he says. “So, I believe in a calm, simple and low-profile life. You live simply, you train hard, and you live an honest life. Then you are free.”

Peaty harnessed his competitiveness to push himself to new lengths

Tom Watkins

Adam Peaty The Leviathan of the Olympic Pool: 25-Years_old, 191cm, 93kg

By Ted Lane

Hitting the pool is a tranquil way to boost fitness and sink stress – at least, it is for ordinary men. Olympic gold medallist Adam Peaty takes a more combative approach. “I love the aggression of racing,” he says. “You have to be very composed when you’re swimming, but I use that composure in an angry way.” If you’ve been following Peaty on Instagram during the lockdown, you will have seen him repping out parallette press-ups in a weighted vest, wearing all black and sporting a quarantine buzz cut. This militant aesthetic only serves to reinforce the brutality of his workouts.

This focused aggression has yielded exceptional results. As well as becoming the first male British swimmer to win the gold medal in the 100m breaststroke for 24 years at the 2016 Olympics in Rio, Peaty has set 11 swimming world records. He became the first man to break the hallowed 58-second mark in the same event. Then he broke the 57-second mark.

“In the water, all of this comes from your core – it powers every stroke.”

“Adam has got reality distortion,” says coach and 2004 Olympian Mel Marshall. “He doesn’t see limits – he just sees opportunities.” Which comes in handy when Marshall floods his week with a staggering workload, both in the pool and on dry land. Peaty swims a breathtaking 50km each week; 5km in the morning, 5km in the afternoon, Monday to Friday. But it’s far from a mind-numbing slog. “Tuesday afternoon is intense,” says Marshall. “He does 40 25m reps – each one in 60 seconds. That’s 12 seconds of sprinting, 50-ish seconds of recovery, 40 times.”

It may lack a barbell, but it’s an EMOM workout to make you wince. “His other high-intensity session is 20 100m reps: four reps at lactate threshold [30bpm below his maximum heart rate], with one recovery, then three reps at his VO max [10bpm below his maximum heart rate], with two recovery, and repeat.” And that’s just his pool work.

Peaty’s gym sessions dovetail with his water-based workouts. On Mondays, he follows up a kick-based pool session with an upper-body shift pumping iron. There’s a lot of core work, too. “On dry land, you have the ground to offer stability and provide leverage for movement,” says Marshall. “In the water, all of this comes from your core – it powers every stroke.”

By his own admission, Peaty is intensely competitive – fiercely, even. But it’s his ability to absorb the workload that sets him apart. “He recovers incredibly quickly and he adapts incredibly quickly,” says Marshall. Curiously, his coach feels that it’s the foundations laid in the gym early on that are ultimately responsible for his success.

“Starting young means he can take advantage of all of those hormones coursing through his body,” says Marshall. “And those benefits then continue. The man is a workhorse.” Which is bad news for those playing catch-up before the next Olympics.

Joshua reclaimed all he had lost by learning to play to his strengths

David Venni

Anthony Joshua Unified Heavyweight Boxing Champion: 30-Years-Old, 198cm, 108kg

By David Morton

Men's Health: Last December, you went into your second fight with Andy Ruiz with a noticeably different game plan to when you lost your titles – WBA, IBF, WBO and IBO – to him earlier in 2019. Was that the key to winning your belts back?

AJ: I think it’s all about adapting. Different circumstances require different preparation. It was the same war, but I had learned a lot from the first battle. Ruiz isn’t the type of fighter that you go head to head with. For the first fight, I was planning on going in there and trading with him. But there’s an old boxing saying: “You don’t hook with a hooker!” So, what did I do? I went in there and hooked with a hooker and the actual hooker came out on top.In the second fight, I went in there and he tried to box with a boxer. And I came out on top. I had to learn what my strengths were and what his weaknesses were, and then I just boxed to those. That’s your basic foundation: never play to someone else’s strengths. In anything you do, everyone has their own strengths. If you play to theirs rather than yours, they are always going to come off better than you in the long run.

This content is imported from YouTube. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.

MH: You weighed in almost 5kg lighter for the second fight and were under 108kg for the first time since 2014. How did you adapt your training to come in so visibly leaner?

AJ: Ha, ha! You want me to give away my secrets? You’ve just got to be specific. Training is all about what you’re trying to achieve. To prepare for 12 rounds of boxing, it sounds obvious, but you’ve got to box, box, box. And that’s what we did.

There’s not much point boxing and then spending time in the swimming pool to build endurance, because all you’re doing is building swimming endurance. The same goes for boxing a little bit and then spending hours lifting weights, because that’s for weightlifters. The best boxing stamina work you can do is to hit the heavy bag or shadow box. Everything that involves boxing without getting injured is the best form of training.

It’s a simple thing that’s easy to overlook. If you want to get good at something, do that thing. Focus on it. We try to add this and that, strip it back. But you need to box more if you want to be in shape for boxing.

Joshua found success in stripping back his approach

David Venni

MH: In what way did you change your nutrition? Is it true that Wladimir Klitschko advised you to reduce your salt intake?

AJ: I did cut out salt leading up to that fight. But the food was so bland! You don’t realise how much we depend on salts and sugars. When you remove them, you realise what the true taste of food is like. It had a real benefit, though, because it stripped my body of all the excess sugar and salt I didn’t need, and I managed to lose a shedload of weight.

Chicken and broccoli are tough when you can’t put any spice on them. Someone said to me that it’s not the chicken we like – it’s the spice and the sauces. That’s why I think vegetarians and vegans are onto something. We’re not meant to like chicken. They put the same sauces and spices on vegetables and get that taste and texture.

MH: What’s your diet like coming up to a weigh-in for a fight?

AJ: It’s pretty spot on. Weigh-in is usually about 2pm, so I will have had breakfast and lunch by then. Luckily, I don’t have to “make” weight, so I just continue my preparations like it’s another day. I don’t prepare for the scales; I just use it as an opportunity to showcase my work ethic and how hard I’ve been training.

MH: All boxers come in for criticism on social media. How do you handle negative comments or haters?

AJ: I think that it’s hard to ignore it. I’m not going to lie and say that I don’t pay attention to any of that, because it’s impossible not to see it. I started my social media on my own and, even though it has turned into a business page, I still handle a lot of it myself. I think that it’s fine to have doubters, as long as you don’t believe what they’re saying the whole time. You have to prove your doubters wrong. When they don’t believe, you should always believe.

"You’ve got to be specific: training is all about what you are trying to achieve"

The doubters aren’t always bad, either. You just have to try to find something positive out of it. They might say, “You’re shit, and you’re going to get knocked out because your hands are too low” – and I would think, “That’s a good indication I’ve got to keep my left hand up.” I use the doubters as a positive factor, not as a negative one.

MH: You’ve occasionally been called out for being more of an aesthete than an athlete. What do you think is the most underrated part of a boxer’s physique?

AJ: Their head! That’s where you take the most punishment. Everyone says it’s all about a good chin, but it’s actually your whole head. You get battered: left and right temples, forehead, nose, mouth, ears. The ears always hurt. Everyone looks at my biceps and the abs. But it’s your head that gets forgotten. What’s the best piece of advice that you would give to somebody who is trying to make it in boxing? I would tell them to talk to themselves and mentally prepare themselves.

You can always try to see a meditation specialist or a psychologist, but I think that the only way to test your greatness is to truly be in a position of adversity. You’re never going to find out how great you are by sitting on a beach. Boxers should talk to themselves more in the gym – build up those mental callouses. You’ve got to know that you are tough enough to get through this.

Murray returned to glory by channelling his will to achieve

David Clerihew

Andy Murray The Comeback Kid from Dunblane: 33-Years-Old, 190cm, 84kg

By Paul Wilson

At 5.09am on Saturday 4 August 2018, alone in a hotel bed in Washington, DC, two hours after he sobbed into his towel at the end of his first third-round win for a year, Andy Murray took a long, hard look into the black mirror of his iPhone and pressed record.

“It was a really emotional night for me, because I felt like I’m coming to the end and I’m really sad about that, because…” – his voice breaks, as he wipes tears from his eyes. “I really want to keep going but my body is telling me, ‘No.’ So… It hurts. And, yeah, I’m sorry that I can’t keep going.”

At the end of the 2016 tennis season, Murray was the world’s number one, the reigning Wimbledon champion and entering the imperial phase of his career. The following summer, a chronic hip problem got so bad that he couldn’t put on his shoes and socks. From there, he endured a two-year period during which he barely played, with two major surgeries, in January 2018 and January 2019 – the latter leaving him with a metal cap in his right hip socket.

“I think you look for miracles”

A week before that second op, there were more tears, this time in front of other people’s cameras at a press conference at the Australian Open, as he realised that the Grand Slam might be his last. (He lost his first-round match in five sets.) Tennis experts outside Murray’s circle thought he would never play again. Those inside knew that “never” is not in their man’s vocabulary.

“I think you look for miracles,” said Mark Bender, Murray’s physiotherapist, of competing at the top level with a metal hip. “But when you’ve got somebody who really wants to achieve and is going all-in, everybody buys into the hope that something magical can happen.” And, of course, it did.

Ten months after the DC dawn confessional, five after his second hip operation, Murray won the doubles at Queens in June 2019 and then the European Open in Antwerp in October – his first singles title for 30 months. After that, pelvic injury cut his year short. He hasn’t played in 2020.

Murray’s commitment to not merely return from setbacks but to excel makes him exceptional. He might well be enjoying (if that’s the right word) the current enforced lockdown – after all, there’s no pressure to be match-fit when there are no matches to play. But you can be sure that no one will be more determined to come back ready to play at the absolute best of his abilities.

Lewis Hamilton The Formula 1 Driver in Top Gear: 35-Years-Old, 174cm, 69kg

By Giuliano Donati

MH: Next season, you have the chance to match Michael Schumacher’s record of seven Formula 1 world championships. Nervous?

LH: I honestly don’t think about it much. I don’t want it to be a distraction. I’m currently the world champion but, every year, I start from scratch. I just want to be at the top of my game in a physical sense, just as I want my car to be the best in terms of engineering. How can I make sure I’m ahead of everyone else? How can I be more consistent, meticulous and precise? How can I better understand the technology? That’s what I focus on.

MH: What do you do to stay at the top, physically speaking?

LH: I like lifting weights, but I have to make sure that I don’t overdo it. Formula 1 drivers can’t be too heavy: more muscle means more kilos. It’s also disadvantageous to put too much muscle on your shoulders and arms, because you need to have a low centre of gravity in the car.

It’s important to have a good cardiovascular system as a driver. Over the course of a two-hour race, you might have an average heartbeat of 160-170bpm. During qualifying, it can go up to 190bpm. That’s why I do a lot of running. Sprints are a part of every workout.

MH: How has your training evolved since you started out in F1 almost 15 years ago?

LH: When I was young, I had a lot of energy and felt I could do anything. I didn’t have a strategy, and I didn’t stretch: I just got in the car and drove to win. But over the years, I’ve experimented with a number of different disciplines, like boxing and muay Thai. These days, I do lots of pilates, focusing on the core – the muscles beneath the muscles.

"I’m more mobile and in better shape than I was at 25"

MH: What’s your approach to nutrition?

LH: Three years ago, I decided to follow a plant-based diet. The only thing I regret is not having done it before. My taste buds have learned about things that I never thought I would eat and that I now love: falafel, avocado, beetroot, fresh and dried fruit. I’ve also noticed a marked improvement in my fitness level since I switched, which is motivating.

MH: So, you credit your plant-based diet with helping you stay at your peak?

LH: I was already at the top before changing my approach to food, but I was definitely struggling more and my energy was inconsistent. I had days when I felt strong and others when I was just sapped. When I switched to a plant-based diet, those highs and lows decreased significantly.

I’ve also noticed positive effects on my sleep and on my health in general. The benefits keep coming, and I’ve honestly never felt better. I’m 35 now, and though theoretically I should be less fit than before, I’m more mobile and in better shape than I was at 25.

Smart tweaks to nutrition and training have kept Hamilton in the fast lane

David Clerihew

MH: F1 is high octane, high adrenalin. How do you rest and recharge?

LH: Unplugging is a fundamental part of my routine. It’s so important to decompress after a race, so you can face the next one with a clear mind. I love spending time with my friends and family. Being with them helps me relax and focus my energy. But I can’t live without adrenalin. I love anything that makes my heart beat faster, whether that’s skiing, sky-diving, surfing or training.

MH: What are you most proud of achieving in your career?

LH: I was the first working-class Black F1 champion. I’m proud to have paved the way for others. One of my favourite phrases is: “You can’t be what you don’t see.” Anyone who sees me on the podium, even if it’s a child, can be inspired to follow their dreams. If that happens, I’ll have done my job well. Diversity is a problem that Formula 1 has to face up to. I want to do my part in helping the sport make progress, not only by inspiring others but also by collaborating to create more opportunities for people from different communities.

Mental discipline made Fraser the undisputed king of fitness

Hamish Brown

Mat Fraser Reigning CrossFit Games Champion: 30-Years-Old, 170cm, 88kg

By David Morton

MH: How are you managing to keep up with your training in lockdown?

MF: I’m in Kentucky right now with my friend and training partner [female CrossFit Games champion] Tia-Clair Toomey. With all of the gyms shut down, we thought we’d make the best of it and came out to a buddy’s lodge, which is usually used by rock climbers. We kinda just moved in and brought all our equipment with us. Our partners are here, too, so we’re just congregating as a big unit.

MH: You clearly have a tight network. You share the same agent, and Tia’s husband, Shane Orr, is your coach. How important is that set-up for you?

MF: It’s crucial. You’ve got to be surrounded by good people – people you belong with, who are like-minded. We’re in a unique situation, because we’ve been able to come together during this pandemic and train and hang out and go through this rollercoaster of emotions as a group. But current events aside, I know that I perform better when I’m happy and life is good.

Training with Tia didn’t just come about because we were located in the same place. I’ve been located in the same place as other training partners before, and it didn’t work out quite as well. I started working with Shane not because it was convenient, but because I liked what he was doing. Regardless of the fact that I was around him every day, I saw what he was doing, liked his demeanour, liked his attitude to everything. And most of all, I liked his programming.

The fact that we get along well as friends is just a bonus. The four of us all lived together before the Games last summer. That was a rare situation but it worked, and we had a great time doing it. We woke up every morning excited to put ourselves through what we had to go through. That’s always been the most important thing for me – keeping that good headspace while in training.

MH: Here in the UK, most people are having to train at home without the sort of kit you guys have. What would you do if you only had your bodyweight and a dumbbell or kettlebell?

MF: We actually try to use minimal equipment quite often, because it keeps you thinking outside the box. Yes, we have access to a lot of equipment, but we’ve been making sure that we keep changing it up with burpees, press-ups, air squats.

Whenever I train with bodyweight, I try to set it up as an EMOM [every minute, on the minute]. For me, those longer workouts are more of a mental barrier than a physical one. I know that I’m physically capable of it, but it’s whether it can keep my attention and keep me engaged for long enough to get a good workout in. So, I always put it into an EMOM, where you’re only looking at 40 seconds of work and 20 seconds’ rest before moving onto the next station. I’m only looking 40 seconds ahead, instead of being two or three rounds into a regular workout and thinking, “Oh, my gosh! I’ve still got 30 minutes left. I’m not even halfway!” With an EMOM, the light at the end of the tunnel is only 40 seconds away, and then you can have a sip of water or sit in front of a fan.

"Lifestyle stuff came to the fore: terrible diet, terrible sleep schedule, terrible attitude"

MH: You alluded to mental strength there. You finished second twice at the CrossFit Games, before going on your dominant run. What was it that changed? Do you think it was your mental game?

MF: I’d say it was half-mental and half-lifestyle. The first time I came second at the Games, I had no real idea what I was doing. You know, I was brand new to CrossFit and showing up at the gym when I could. I was a happy-go-lucky youngster, that first year.

The second year was when all of my lifestyle stuff came to the fore: terrible diet, terrible sleep schedule, terrible attitude mentally. I can’t say that my time in the gym wasn’t great. I hit huge PBs that year, but they were spontaneous, sporadic. I would show up at the gym and not know what deck of cards I was dealing with, whether I’d have enough energy to train, whether I’d be too tired, or whatever.

On top of that, I had a terrible attitude at the Games. If something didn’t go well, I would throttle back and just say, ‘This one’s not for me.’ After that, I took some steps. I started eating better; I committed myself to a good sleep schedule; I began doing some recovery work and warm-ups. Basically, everything I was supposed to be doing, I actually started doing.

And in competition, my attitude completely changed – seeing the benefit of a bad situation and managing to find a silver lining in it, instead of just being miserable and stewing.

MH: Now that you’ve won multiple times, you exude a sense of confidence when you compete. Do you still get nervous?

MF: If I wasn’t nervous, I’d be questioning whether I cared about what I was doing. I hate the way it feels, the immediate effect. Before most events, I dry-heave or throw up, because I’m so nervous. It’s not enjoyable. But at the same time, I know that I care and I still have that excitement. Backstage, people will see me dry-heaving and they look at my manager and say, “God, is Mat OK?” And he’s like, “Oh, yeah, he’s good. This is good.”

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For Fraser, maintaining “a good headspace” is paramount – so he keeps his training varied with intense EMOM workouts

MH: Tia says that the reason you’re the world’s fittest man is your work ethic. She says that she’s never seen determination like it and that, in turn, it challenges her to get better every day.

MF: Well, the feeling is mutual. When I started training with Tia, it was immediately apparent that it was going to be different from any partnership I’d had before. She’s incredibly polished when she knows that people are watching, but she also has this aggressiveness that I’ve never seen in a female athlete.

We’re true training partners – gender never comes up. It’s almost like a mirror. I’ve never trained with anyone who has the same aggressiveness going into each and every workout, when it’s time to grind and you’re miserable and you’re not getting a pat on the back. You get to see someone’s true character when the conditions are less than ideal. You see this fight come out of her that you don’t see in many people.

MH: The Games season, as with all sports, is up in the air. At the moment, it seems that there will be a form of CrossFit Games, but on a smaller scale without fans. How do you feel about that?

MF: As long as the top people are there to compete against, it doesn’t matter. I have a soft spot for spectators who look forward to the event, and for sponsors and vendors, it’s their big opportunity, so it’s unfortunate. In the same breath, the whole world is dealing with a situation that we’ve never been in before. Everyone is understanding and everyone is dealing with the same problems. But as far as training goes, it’s business as usual.

Like all great sportsmen, Itoje has a powerful curiosity of mind

Hamish Brown

Maro Itoje The Thinking Man's Battering Ram: 25-Years-Old, 193cm, 155kg

By Ted Lane

Maro Itoje is not your average rugby player. This is the standard way profiles of the Saracens and England lock and flanker begin. Despite his size and talent, the reader is asked to marvel at his brain more than his biceps. It’s well known that his burgeoning rugby career dovetailed with a politics degree. He is revered as a gentle giant with a penchant for poetry. Hell, it’s even a trope we ran with ourselves after he arrived for a previous Men’s Health shoot carrying a book about the Nigerian civil war.

"He ended up having 74kg around his waist and doing a chin-up with ease"

But to gloss over his physique is to miss half the picture – half of what makes him a sporting powerhouse. Talking to the website Rugby Pass last year, Itoje’s Sarries colleague Alex Goode recounted a one-rep max test for chin-ups during one training session: “He came in, first day, and started on 20kg. He proceeded to go up and up and up. He was so unaware. He ended up having 74kg around his waist and doing a chin-up with ease. This is a guy a couple of days out of school.” Goode neglected to mention his own score.

Left to his own devices, Itoje likes beach weights. Training for fun means abs exercises and 21s, the quintessential biceps-building protocol. But disco muscles alone have not propelled him to the top of his sport. At Saracens, Itoje lifts three times a week. Monday is lower body, Tuesday is upper body, while Thursday is total body.

Mondays are most interesting because Andy Edwards, Saracens’ head of strength and conditioning, tweaks Itoje’s routine depending on where they are in the season. “His two main lifts are the trap bar deadlift for strength and the concentric squat for explosive strength,” he says. Low rep ranges are key. “If the priority is building strength, we’ll start with deadlifts. If the priority is being more explosive, it’s the concentric squat.”

Alternatively, if Edwards needs to maintain intensity at the business end of the season but reduce neural fatigue to avoid burnout, “We swap heavy deadlifts for weighted CMJs [counter-movement jumps], where Maro is jumping with a barbell on his back.”

Still, eventually, it’s Itoje’s mind that returns to the fore. “I’ve been at Saracens for 13 seasons and watched Maro develop from a kid,” says Edwards. “He’s always been the one to challenge me and ask: why? That craving for knowledge is unique to top sportsmen, and he’s got it.”

Chris Froome The Fastest (and Hardest) Man on Two Wheels: 35-Years-Old, 186cm, 66kg

By Paul Wilson

Chris Froome makes long-term and short-term targets central to his success. “I’m a forward thinker, always planning, sometimes way too far in advance,” he told Men’s Health in 2015, shortly before the second of his four Tour de France victories. “So, I enjoy reaching the smaller goals, which are motivating to reach the larger goals.” He could not have imagined that such targets would include “learn to walk again”, as they did after a horrific freak crash in June 2019.

On a recon of the time trial course at the Criterium du Dauphiné race in Roanne, France, gusty wind funnelled between buildings and took his front wheel just as he lifted a hand to clear his nostrils. Attempting to recover control, he veered off the road and into a wall, breaking his ribs, right femur, elbow, hip and sternum and the lowest vertebra in his neck. His team had clocked him at 54km per hour.

Such a calamitous accident was atypical in the extreme, and Froome’s rehabilitation came with many uncertainties. “It was progressive, really, because we just didn’t know how long it would take in terms of recovery,” said Froome’s coach, Tim Kerrison. “We had some different plans right at the beginning, but it’s been an ongoing review.” Not least because, despite the extent of his injuries, very quickly Froome began surpassing smaller comeback goals.

Seven weeks after the crash, it was said that he was “ahead of all predictions that were made initially of how long it would take to get to even this point”. In early August 2019, he was having three to four hours of physio every morning, then two hours of exercise after lunch. Afternoon shifts involved pedalling a stationary bike using only his left leg as his right leg healed, propped on a platform.

At the end of August, 10 weeks after the crash, he was doing track sessions on a bike; by the end of October, a team time trial at an exhibition race. In November, he had his final operation, which included removing from his right hip a 10-inch plate with screws as long as his thumb. In January this year, he joined a training camp with his beloved TeamINEOS. By February, he was performing on the UAE Tour –one that was unfortunately cut short by the pandemic – at which his stats were close to top-level.

“From that point on, it felt like everything was so positive.”

Upon reviving in intensive care in France, Froome was told by the surgeon that there was nothing to stop him making a 100% recovery. “That’s all I wanted to hear at that point,” he said later. “From that point on, it felt like everything was so positive.”

He immediately set a larger goal: to win the next Tour de France. At the time of writing this, despite some scepticism, that was scheduled to begin on 29 August. If it isn’t postponed, Froome will be 35 and very possibly in yellow-jersey form, having come back from – no hype, this – one of the worst injuries in his sport.

For Whitlock, playing the long game has meant becoming more strategic

Tom Watkins

Max Whitlock The Most Decorated Gymnast in Britain: 27-Years-Old, 167cm, 62.5kg

By Scarlett Wrench

Despite almost qualifying as a member of Generation Z, Max Whitlock is already a veteran of his sport. “Gymnastics is really demanding,” he says, by way of understatement. “A lot of people are already thinking about retiring by my age, because that’s when they start to struggle.” The lifespan of an Olympic gymnast is short, but while most burn out in their early-to-mid-twenties, Whitlock has no plans to fade away. Already the most decorated athlete in British gymnastics history, he has his sights set on Gold at the delayed Tokyo Games – then Paris 2024, too.

For Whitlock, playing the long game has meant tuning into his body’s signals. As a teenage prodigy, he could handle 35 hours of training per week; now, he has dropped it to a more “moderate” 20 hours of graft, split over six days. Whitlock has observed older gymnasts training like juniors and wearing themselves down. “I’m hoping I’ll never burn out, because I’m careful not to push myself too far,” he says. “I do what I need to – and what I know I can recover from – so the next day is always productive.”

His training is very specific to his sport. What most people consider “cardio” is of little use. He might run once a week in the build-up to a competition, “but it’s just a mile done as quickly as possible. We’re only on the apparatus for a minute and a half to two minutes. So, it’s still targeted.”

He doesn’t lift weights, either – it doesn’t build the sort of strength he needs. Conditioning workouts are purely bodyweight-based, incorporating handstand variations, ring work, triceps dips, wide-arm press-ups and leg lifts. “I also do a lot of joint-strengthening exercises to make sure my wrists and ankles are ready for my session,” he says. “As I’m getting older, my joints need more attention.” Staying leaner and lighter also helps with longevity. Excess muscle mass would hinder his flexibility.

[alicepink-me]

The New Guardian

Story Summary: Marinette Dupain-Cheng is an adult in the real world, guarding the Miracle Box in Master Fu's place. She's in love with Chat Noir, but refuses to tell him her feelings. New holders appear to fight the duo and shake up their lives. Marinette makes a tough decision about her future as Ladybug.

Chapter 16: Three Days

April stared at Marinette's body through the steam that her cup emitted, leaned against her own bed. Marinette's health improved drastically this morning, so there shouldn't be much time left. April sipped her tea and looked to her clock. In fact, based on Marinette's accelerated heart rate and appearance, she'd say there was only a few minutes left for her. April wasn't positive, especially since this is experimental, but she was confident.

Although . . . there was always the possibility that she'd never wake up, stay in an eternal slumber or even die. Anything could happen, but April only wanted positivity, the exact opposite of her normal personality.

April focused on her friend. The color began to return to her body, her lips pinkening. After Chat Noir brought Marinette to their room, April fixed her up. That was of course after her own two days asleep under the spell. Marinette laid in her bed under the sheets with her clothes and hair neatly adjusted. With all the fighting, her clothes were slightly ripped and her hair was a mess, so cleaning her appearance before she woke up was a must. Marinette wore a nice white dress and kept her signature pigtails. April wore a crop top with leggings.

April sipped her tea, hardly blinking. Marinette said one time that her favorite color was pink, so when April got bored, she painted her nails pink. It's not like she had important classes to go to anyway with the entire academy being on a tiny vacation at the moment.

Marinette took a long deep breath. April set her cup down and walked over. She placed the back of her hand against Marinette's forehead as the girl's eyes shot open. Those bluebells rapidly searched the blurred area before stopping at a familiar face.

"April . . . " Marinette took another breath, eyes half lidded. "What's going on?" She adjusted to the lighting.

"You're awake." April smiled, the happiest Marinette's ever seen her look. Marinette tiredly blinked at her. April turned around and grabbed another tea cup and poured some from her teapot. She sighed with joy. "Well a lot is going on right now." She said, setting the pot down. Marinette scooted up, sitting straight. April handed her the cup. "But you need to recover first."

"I need a nap." Marinette rubbed her eyes, taking the cup.

"You just slept for three days." April chuckled.

"Three days?" Marinette choked on hot tea. "What has . . . " She stared off in space for a moment. April looked at her weird. "Nevermind. I . . . remember." She took another sip.

"It's a lot to take in."

"I tried to kill you." Marinette said.

"It happens." April poured more tea.

"But I could've." Marinette shrugged. "I could've been worse than Hawkmoth and murdered people." She looked down, glooming at her reflection in the tea.

"You spend too much time down in the dumps." April rolled her eyes before turning to her bed and hopping up. "I understand you've dealt with a lot but come on . . . there's some good. A cute guy and not just any guy, the one you love, traveled all the way from Paris to Tibet to check up on you. Then he proceeded to plan a way to rescue you from your impending execution, which succeeded. Not the execution, but the plan." April pointed out. "You aren't gonna find that just anywhere. You need to hop on that before you regret it."

"I don't know." Marinette sighed. "It's so much. Who knows what he's feeling let alone what I am?"

"Oh please!" April scoffed. "You two are madly in love and just need to shut up already. So far, talking hasn't been either of your strong suits and it's really getting in the way!"

"So about the temple . . . " Marinette awkwardly sipped some tea, looking away. "What did you do after I blacked out?"

April glared at her clear avoidance. "Well . . . right before Chat Noir and I fixed your miraculous, I was working to erase the entire council's memory."

Marinette focused. "And?"

"I didn't." April grinned.

"What?!" Marinette shrieked. "They'll murder me!"

"Calm down." April rolled her eyes. "I did something better."

Marinette leaned back. "Why does that sentence scare me?"

"You're so dramatic." April said. "But anyway . . . instead of erasing, I changed their memories. So now, the council should love you. You're a hero." She put her hands on her hips smugly. "I'll accept my thank you now, preferably in cash."

"But why am I the hero? What do they think of me?" Marinette questioned.

"Ugh! Can't you just accept the end result?" April was met with an intense stare. "I just fed them exactly what memories you have as Ladybug, but without their biases. Anyone with a brain would be on your side in the matter. I did however add a thought in the back of their minds that your life was their ideas. I didn't create a false memory, but they just have a sort of feeling that they knew everything you were doing as Ladybug and were okay with it. None of them will question it. I promise."

"But what if they do?"

"They won't." April insisted. "I nearly died to create their minds and they won't dare remember. They're basically my children at this point and I'm Frankenstein."

"So am I like their student?" Marinette questioned.

"Kind of. You are a special student of theirs that they don't think too hard about and you can visit this temple at any time you want and stay in here as my roommate. Plus . . . " April added. "I put a suspicion blocker in their heads. If a student brings up you with negative thoughts or information that contradicts my memories, they will simply not hear it. It goes straight through their minds. They may make a positive comment about you in response, but otherwise, they'll ignore it.

"At least I can come back." Marinette smiled. "I don't think I could forget this place or any of the friends I've made." She sipped her tea.

"I don't think we'd be completely offended if you left us and never came back since we're used to that kind of stuff. But considering I just used my life force to save you a few days ago . . . I'd expect at least an email." She smiled.

"Don't worry. As long as Min Jee answers my calls, I should be able to teleport here every now and then." Marinette flipped the covers off and set her cup down on the table. "But I don't have to leave right away either. I can stay and relax for a bit."

April made a face. "I don't think you're gonna be relaxing for awhile." She laughed. "Or maybe you will, but that all depends on how long you put off your problems."

Marinette's eyes widened. "Where's Chat Noir?"

A loud thump was heard at the door along with an ouch. Marinette stared at April as the color drained from her face. "Is that . . . "

"Marinette." He called.

"Chat Noir was here the whole time?" Marinette freaked out, whispering. "He heard everything."

"I don't think you said anything that he hadn't already known." April glared at the door. "And as for why he's here . . . I did kick him out, but he won't leave us alone!"

"Well I'm sorry that I'm concerned for my partner's health." He retorted.

"Oh don't remind me. I only did you a massive favor." April scoffed. "The door in your face should have been a huge clue to move your butt somewhere else."

"I would like to see her." Chat argued.

April rolled her eyes and turned to Marinette. "Feel free to jump in any time. He might be cute, but I don't know how you worked with him." Marinette slowly sank back into her bed, cheeks flaming red. "Oh no. Don't you dare." Marinette remained quiet as she flipped her covers back over. "No! Stop blushing! That's your man! You gotta do something!" April jumped on the bed and shook Marinette. "Stop blushing!"

"I'm sorry, I can't help it!" Marinette covered her cheeks.

"It shouldn't be this awkward." April stated. "He might be irritating, but you obviously love him."

"Don't tell the entire world." Marinette whispered.

"Why?" April furrowed her brows. "Anyone that knows you, can easily see it and anyone who doesn't know you, doesn't care."

"You make it sound easy." Marinette sat up.

"Cause it is. I don't need a man right now, but if I want one, I can get one." She snapped her fingers. "It's that simple." Marinette sighed.

Chat leaned his head against the door. "Marinette, can I please see you?" He pleaded.

April raised her eyebrows and looked at Marinette.

"Ohhhhhh . . . " Marinette groaned, grabbing her cup and aggressively drinking more tea. "My life is over."

"Your life is just starting." April hopped off the bed and grabbed Marinette's arm. "Come on, get up. You need to get out of bed."

"I don't want to." Marinette complained as she slid over the side of her mattress.

"Ugh, when did I become a mother?" April asked herself as she grabbed a pair of sunglasses from her desk. She slipped them through her hair, resting them on the top of her head. "Anyway . . . I'm starving. Forty-eight hours of sleep is really refreshing, but it really took a lot out of me . . . " She stretched, smoothing her hair back. "And I'm about to binge the whole café. I deserve it anyway."

"Did you not eat when you woke up?"

"Of course I did. I wasn't waiting for you." April rolled her eyes. "But I'm hungry again." She flipped her glasses down over her eyes. April moved to the door and flipped the lock, pulling the handle. Adrien came bursting through before falling face first to the floor. April bit her lip. She lowered her glasses to look between the two. "Yeah . . . there's nothing I can do about that now." She flipped the shades back and walked out of the room, closing the door behind her.

Adrien stared up at Marinette from the floor. Neither of them blinked, but Marinette wasn't even breathing. Her grip loosened and the tea cup dropped, shattering against the wood floors. Adrien blinked first before standing, brushing himself off.

"Adrien?" Marinette mumbled.

[natashaashleymarvelromanoff]

I’m so glad you’re back - Epilogue

chapter 1 chapter 2 chapter 3 chapter 4 chapter 5 chapter 6 chapter 7 chapter 8  chapter 9 chapter 10 chapter 11 chapter 12 chapter 13 chapter 14 chapter 15 

So! here we are, at the end of this fanfic. its been a pleasure to finally write this fanfic and write out my ideas for an alternate timeline to infinity war and endgame. But this isn't the end of this universe!! I'm going to be creating a brand new story, including one-shots and drabbles, thats set around the 5 years in between the snaps and also after they bring everyone back! so you'll still be getting more of Natasha James and steve. I look forward to writing a few one-shots and posting them soon, so keep a lookout for when its posted. I'm also very grateful to everyone who had read my story and gave it a kudos and also commented!! it was lovely to hear about your thoughts and advice. love you guys! ❤❤❤❤❤

Its been a year since the Avengers brought back half of the universe. And what a year its been. Celebrations had started almost instantly around the world on the same day, states across America and countries across the world were setting off fireworks and throwing parties in their town squares and they were still going on a year later, and they probably will until the end of time. The time people had lost with their loved ones will never be fixed but everyone was back, and that's all that mattered. Not to mention the Avengers were practically legends now, they were even knighted by the Queen of England after she came back. Tony had loved that way too much.

And yes, Everyone was fine, they had rebuilt the compound in New York and restored it to be better and bigger, Bruce had actually rejoined the new avengers team and was now working as part of the team and the science division, Thor left New Asgard in the hands of his trusted friend Valkyrie whilst he travelled with the guardians. Getting everyone back had made him immensely better and his depression wasn't as crushing anymore, the guilt no longer weighing him down. Valkyrie had been more than supportive and told him she would look after their people whilst he got back to his old self. And if that meant getting back to his old ways of doing missions and helping people out in the universe then so be it. Doctor strange was also a bigger part of the team too, he and wanda worked together great, their powers were incredible when put together. 

Carol had gone back off to help people around the universe too, she even clocked in with the guardians sometimes to help them out and carol also checked back in with her earth team often, not forgetting to visit for important occasions either.

Tony had been recovering and getting used to his new arm, which he has to admit, it better than his all flesh one, no wonder Bucky liked his so much. Speaking of which, tony and bucky had become civil with each other and are still trying to move on and become somewhat acquaintances. He retired from the avengers for good too, just spending his days now with pepper and their daughter Morgan. Morgan was a big fan of his arm too and often stuck magnets to his metal replacements when he was asleep or without him realising. Don't tell pepper but he still sneakily made suits for the guys at HQ and upgraded them with new weapons or new tech. He did say he wouldn't but he couldn't resist and besides Shuri, who else was gonna make their suits even better. 

Scott and Hope had returned back home with her parents and were just living each day as it came, Scott had been saddened by missing out on another 5 years of his daughter's life and just wanted to make up for that time, whilst also spending as much time with hope as he could too. The 5 of them also came up too when there was an occasion, always keeping in touch, or even teaming back up with the Avengers when they needed help.

Clint and Laura were great too, they had gone back to their home after reuniting and fixed up the house in the areas they needed too, it was a bit run down considering no one lived in it for 5 years. But they managed to get back to life as normal, Clint still couldn't believe it sometimes but he never took another day for granted, he spent every day treating Laura like he did when they first met, like a queen basically, he was like a lovesick teenager all over again. Clint also tried to make sure he spent all his time with his kids too, not wanting to miss another moment.

Natasha and steve moved into their own home. Since they couldn't return to the compound as it was destroyed, they stayed at Tony and Peppers for a few days until pepper could find them a house. It was quite perfect actually, Natasha had never taken herself for a white picket fence kind of girl, but the house pepper had found was perfect. It was on its own with a huge garden, like tony and peppers, a good 30 minutes drive from anyone or the city, but it was still close buy that they could get James to school and could visit Tony, Pepper and Morgan as much as they wanted.

During the year, they made sure to visit most of their friends, of course, they couldn't exactly see the guardians or carol since they were away in the universe somewhere but their space friends always came back whenever they wanted too or when it was a birthday or a special time. The family of three visited clint and laura a lot too, to be honest, clint and laura were like a couple of teenagers again, sometimes Natasha would catch clint looking at laura and he would just be smiling whilst staring at his wife, like the rest of the world didn't exist but her, it was sickeningly cute. Lila had been practising her archery even more, she told steve she wanted to be just like her dad. A hero, whereas cooper was going back to school to finish his last few years before leaving for college. If Natasha remembered correctly, he had said he wanted to get into social work and help kids that were displaced by 'The Blip' and Nate was just happy like always, not a care in the world. All he wanted to do was play with his brother and sister and run around 24/7.

Natasha and steve had officially retired too, thankfully their home was close enough to the compound that they could still help out the team, paperwork mostly and they trained some new recruits sometimes when they were craving a bit of action or when the new Avenger's team desperately needed their expertise. They did have their own gym room in the house so they could keep on top of their health and fitness but they didn't do any missions, that was the only condition. No missions for either of them. Neither wanted to risk themselves or each other and definitely didn't want to risk their lives and leave James without a parent or two. And too Natasha's happiness, Steve had kept the beard and longer hair after hearing that both James and his mother liked it better, and even Natasha had kept the blonde at the end of her hair. Almost a reminder of the last 8 years. She knew one day her hair would get too long she would have to cut it off but for now, the blonde was a part of her and she wasn't getting rid of it. Besides, she liked her hair longer anyway.

Its a Saturday on the anniversary of ‘The Blip’ aka when everyone came back, and Tony and Pepper had offered to have James over for a sleepover again, leaving the evening free for Natasha and steve to spend together, it was after all a special anniversary, not only because of their victory for bringing everyone back but because its the day Steve came back and also met his son.

So the two retired Avengers decided to spend the night at home. Just the two of them.

Right now, the soldier and the spy were swaying in the front room of their house, Natasha's head was lay on its side against his shoulder, her arms wrapped around his neck. Steve had rested his chin on the top of her head and had his hands placed on her waist, slowly caressing them up and down her back. They'd been dancing to some old music that steve has put on for about 20 minutes. The lights were dimmed down, the windows letting in a soft breeze and James' toys, crayons and drawings were only slightly littering the floor.

Shifting her head, Natasha moved to place her ear over Steves' heart, listening to the soft thud of his heartbeat. Just revelling in the warmth he was radiating. Could you blame a girl? She had spent 5 years without him, Natasha was gonna spend the rest of her life soaking up as much of him as she could. But after a few minutes, she pulled her head back and looked into the blue eyes above her. The same blue eyes that lovingly stared back. Natasha pushed on her feet bringing her to her tiptoes, giving her just enough heigh to reach his lips and bring him down into a kiss. One that he gladly return with just as much enthusiasm.

After pulling away Natasha kept their foreheads together and stopped on her feet, halting their dancing and she held onto him. Then take a deep breath, Natasha opened her mouth to speak.

“You know, 6 years ago, after you were gone, it was the worst time of my life, I couldn't do anything, I couldn't sleep or eat, it sounds pathetic but I just couldn't believe you weren't in my life anymore. And then I found out about James. And it was like I was given this gift as if the universe was trying to apologise to me for taking you. And I was so scared at the thought of having this child by myself without you there. I always knew you wanted a child so much, anyone could tell you did even if you denied it or never talked about it. So when I remembered that, I wasn't so scared, because I knew you were always with me and if you could want this life and this child, I knew I could do it too.” Steve almost grimaced, he hated that he wasn't there for her, that he wasn't there for James for those 5 years. But all that mattered was that he was here now.

“I'm sorry I left you alone Tasha. I never wanted to do that.” He was too sweet, he was trying to apologise for something that was beyond his control. Natasha just smiled up at him as his eyebrows furrowed in regret.

“I know you didn't but you don't have to apologise.” Then his eyes lit up.

“You did such an amazing job raising James, he's amazing. The best kid I ever met and I'm not being unfair I promise.” She laughs at that. In the past year, James had become smitten with his dad, both spending all their time with each other trying to make up for lost time. It was cute to see steve experience so many firsts. And for the two of them to experience some together. after their emotional meeting, the two mostly bonded over drawing, James had insisted on making a picture for his dad and steve had joined him and they hit it off from there.

“Seriously though, you and James are the best part of my life, I'm so proud of everything we've built this last year, the HQ, becoming trainers for the new recruits and making this house our home. I'm so glad I have you and that your both okay. You're my family, I love you so much.” Hearing his confession made her heart warm in her chest, she still hadn't got used to it, to be fair, they had only said ‘i love you’ for a short while when they had been on the run but in the past year he had said it too her every day. It was still foreign almost but every time he muttered those words, it sent shivers down her spine and he never let her forget it.

“That's good because I was thinking about what you would say about expanding”  Steve's brows knitted together at her question, not really understanding it, but as she stared at his confused face the redhead just grinned.

“Expanding? what? the house? Isn't it big enough?” Finishing his sentence steve let out a huff of a laugh. He really did think she meant the house. For a super-smart super-soldier, he could be quite clueless sometimes.

Natasha just rolled her eyes with her grin still on her face. He really had no idea.

“No, you dork. I meant our family.” That's when the soldier's eyes light up, but not for the reason she was trying to explain. 

“What do you mean, like a dog? Because I think James would love that, and me but mostly James, yeah Jamie would definitely love a dog.” Sometimes he was painfully too obvious and oblivious, Natasha just smiled and quirked an eyebrow, knowing full well that it was steve who wanted a dog more, but he was trying to play it off as if it was James that wanted it.

“No, I didn’t mean a dog.”

“Then what do-” His breath nearly caught in his throat, he pauses and it finally clicks. 

“You want another kid?” His blue eyes start to sparkle as he speaks. She could practically feel his excitement and nervousness when his hands tightened their grip on her waist.

tilting her head to the side, Natasha smirked at him. He'd finally figured it out, but she still had one more surprise.

“What if I told you I’m already about a month of that plan in front of you.“

Once again, the soldier's eyes are confused as he looks at his love. A few strands of his long hair falling into his eyes. But then his face falls, finally realising what she means. Natasha just waits, watching the different thoughts colour his face. Then she sees it. That look of realisation in his eyes. 

“You’re pregnant? You're really pregnant?”

Biting her lip, Natasha nods in confirmation.

Steve breathes out a laugh, practically in shock he picks her up at her sides and swings her around in a circle, hugging her close. The redhead laughs at the sudden movement and when he finally puts her down, he kneels on both knees and pulls her closer at her hips, instantly reaching for her shirt to pull it up slightly so he can see her bare stomach. There wasn't anything there and he knew there wouldn't be a bump for a couple more months but just knowing that right now, a baby was growing inside there made him almost pass out.

As he holds her in his hands, steve leans in to kiss her bare skin, just below her belly button. He can feel her fingers start to run through his hair as he does. Once he pulls back he tilts his head back to look up the love of his life. His partner, his spy, the woman who one day would be his wife and all he could do was marvel at her. 

Steve was literally consumed in awe at the woman before him, he always had been. Ever since the moment he had boosted her of his shield to catch a ride on one of the chitauri's ships all those years ago.

She was amazing. And had given him everything he thought he never even wanted or could even have.

Looking back at her stomach he gave it another quick kiss before he whispered into her skin.

"I love you so much already.” 

Before Natasha can react, her soldier is already back on his feet and grabbing her by the arms to pull her closer to him so he can wrap his arms around her and leave no space between them.

Seeing him up close she can see the slight traces of tears that had run down his face from the pure emotion he had been feeling. 

“Natasha Romanoff, you are the love of my life and I love you so much. You have given me everything I never thought I could have or even wanted. You are my world, you, James and this baby. You are my everything and I feel like I'm falling in love with you all over again every single day.”

The redhead sniffles a little at his small speech, she knew he would be over the moon, and she was so happy she was able to finally tell him this time. This is what it should have been like for James. But even though those 5 years without him were tough, she finally had him back now and they were moving forward with their lives. With James and the baby for them to raise.

Pulling him down by his shirt Natasha embraces his lips with hers again. Their lips moulding together perfectly. God, she would never get enough of this man. She thought didn't deserve him at all, but after everything they have been through, she couldn't care less if she deserved him or not. She loved him and he more than loved her. They had James and they were going to have another baby. And that's all that mattered.

Pulling away breathlessly the two stay close with their noses touching, Steve's has a sudden wash of confusion and worry over his face.

“Does James know?” 

Natasha lets out a sigh, looking down as she plays with her fingers. Her worry also covered her face as she really thought about James's reaction

“No, not yet, I didn't want to tell him yet just in case he gets a little upset, it's been a crazy year and we've only just got you back too. So much has changed. I don't want him to think that now you're here and there's a baby that he's being left out.”

“Hey don't worry, everything will be fine, James will never be left out and he is gonna be a great big brother." Steve reached down to capture her hands in his to stop her from picking at her fingernails and then used his other hand to touch her chin, making her head tilt upwards to look at him once again. Suddenly her worry clears away, he was right. She was worrying over nothing.

Then a cheeky smile makes its way onto steves face. 

“So, what do you think? A boy or girl.” Natasha instantly rolls her eyes playfully at him and pulls away to go turn the music off.

“Oh god, your gonna start this now? I’m not fighting with you over who’s guessing right.”

“Hey, come on, just because you know I’ll be right isn’t it? “ he followed her after she turned the music off, both making their way towards the stairs to head to their bedroom, but it didn't stop him from joking with her.

“Oh you really wanna go there” She challenged back.

“Oh yeah, you know I do. And by the way, since we brought it up, I think we should definitely get a dog.” If Natasha eyes could have rolled any further back, she would have. Steve knew she only meant it playfully but he was not gonna stop trying.

“We are not getting a dog.”

“Please? You know James would love it, and me, and the baby. “

“Steve please“

“Pleeease, just 1, like a labrador or golden retriever.”

“You're obsessed.”

And that's how they spent the rest of night, spending it together in their home, talking about the baby and James and even the possibility of getting a dog. 

Years ago Natasha could never have dreamed this would have been her life, she was raised to be a killer, to not embrace her emotions and believe love was for children. Back then she didn't even think she could have children. but now she had everything she dreamed about. She deserved this.  Natasha wouldn't have changed it for the world.

And Steve was the same. If you would have told him back when he was still a skinny kid in the 40s that he would have been a hero and finally have his own family in the 21st century with the most beautiful woman he had ever seen and had a child with one on the way, he probably would have died from a coughing fit and asthma attack after laughing too hard. 

Fate had brought them together and also tore them apart, but nothing could stop them from finding each other again. 

And neither could imagine their life any different.

[gotham-ruaidh]

Truth to Triumph

Previously…

Chapter 4: The Secret

July 6, 1904 

Six days later, Jamie arrived at the Beauchamp family brownstone on East Twenty-Second Street and Third Avenue, holding a bottle of wine wrapped in a paper bag.

 The home couldn’t have been any different from the two-room tenement he had grown up in on West Fourteenth Street – let alone the rented room on Stanton Street that housed his belongings and a simple iron bed.

 The townhouse was elegant. Understated. Beautiful and well-designed – as the brownstone of a lauded architect would be.

 And, as he would quickly discover – a very lived-in and much beloved home.

 The door was opened by an Irish chambermaid, who quietly escorted him to the parlor.

 Henry Beauchamp’s home was quite a few blocks south and avenues over from the mansions he designed for New York’s rich and famous – but seeing his work up close and personal made Jamie realize just why he was in such high demand.

 The parlor where he waited was cozy without feeling small. Decorated with a thick Persian carpet over a mahogany inlaid floor, shelves and tabletops covered tastefully with art and decorative objects from all over the world. Early evening sunlight streamed through the windows, overlooking the street and framed by window boxes of forget-me-nots.

 Footsteps in the hallway – Jamie rose. There was Claire…leading a small boy by the hand.

 It was immediately apparent that the boy was a carbon copy of her – her whisky eyes, her riotous brown curls.

 Jamie crouched down to the boy’s level, smiling. “Hello.”

 “Hi,” the boy shyly responded.

 “Can you introduce yourself?” Claire knelt at the boy’s side, encouraging him gently.

 The boy straightened his well-made but grubby shirt. “I’m Henry. Who are you?”

 “I’m Jamie.” Jamie reached out one hand, and to his surprise the boy shook it. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Henry.”

“Do you like roast chicken?”

 Jamie’s smile widened. “Yes, I do like roast chicken very much. Do you?”

 The boy nodded. “I’d have it every day, if Nanny Fitz would let me.”

 “Now.” Claire straightened the boy’s lapels. “Mama is going to sit with Jamie here in the parlor for a while. Can you get back upstairs to the nursery? I promise I’ll be with you for your roast chicken supper tonight.”

 He nodded, then grinned brightly, smacking her cheek with an exaggerated kiss.

 It was the first time Jamie heard Claire laugh.

 Henry made a quick polite bow toward Jamie, then scampered up the winding staircase at the end of the hall, disappearing as the marble stairs twisted away onto the next landing.

 Claire stood and extended a hand, helping Jamie to his feet. She led him to the parlor and softly sank into a plush couch; he sat in the armchair at her right.

 Silence stretched. He waited for her to speak.

 “He’s four – he’ll be five in August. He’s spirited, and inquisitive – Papa says I was the same, at his age. He encouraged that in me, and I want to do the same for my son.”

 He listened.

 “Yes, he’s mine. And no, he doesn’t have a father – not even on his birth certificate.”

She paused.

 “The other day, in the courtyard at the hospital, you said you wanted to know me. Now you know what many people don’t know.”

She gave him a long look. “That’s valuable information, for someone in the press.”

 “You know I’d never betray your confidence, Claire.” He held her gaze. “But why tell me? You could have easily chosen to not do so.”

 “You’re right. I decided to trust you instead. Time will tell who’s the fool here.”

 “Excuse me?”

 The maid re-appeared at the door, carrying a tray laden with a silver tea service.

 “Thank you Lizzie.” Claire gestured to the table in front of them. “You can set it down here.”

 The maid did so, then quickly retreated from the room. Claire scooted to the front of the couch.

 “How do you like your tea, Jamie?”

 “Black, I suppose. I’m not much of a tea drinker.”

 Carefully she poured the steaming tea into a solid china cup.

 “And how do you like your tea, Claire?”

 She set his cup on a rattan coaster on the coffee table, then poured her own cup.

 “With a bit of cream. No sugar – all the latest medical research says that added sugar is not the best of things for one’s health.”

 Jamie wrapped his hands around the mug and sipped his tea. “Where on earth do you find the time to read medical research, between traveling to the hospital and spending time with your family?”

 She sipped her own tea. “I manage. I always figure it out.”

 He met her eyes. “I don’t doubt that one bit about you, Claire.”

 For a while they talked about this and that. The article he had been researching about sanitariums. His ideas for a series in the World about Slocum survivors. Her experiences with a particularly trying patient that day.

 And then –

 “Why haven’t you asked me more about Henry?”

 He pursed his lips. “Because it’s none of my business. Because it’s your story to tell.”

 “He does have a father, of course. But I haven’t spoken to him in years.”

 Jamie swallowed. “Is he Randall’s son?”

 Her eyes closed. “He’s my son. But yes, Randall fathered him.”

 Jamie paused, swirling the dregs in his teacup.

 “He forced himself on me. It was in the cab, on the way back from the opera. Bizet’s Carmen. He had had far too much to drink at dinner, and then at the intermission, and then after the performance.” Her fingers drummed on the rim of her teacup. “It was very quick. But as my professors taught me in medical school, once is all it takes.”

 She set down her teacup. “I broke it off the next day. He doesn’t even know. Nobody in his family knows.”

 Jamie could find exactly nothing to say.

 “Thank God my parents have supported every decision I’ve made along the way. They know it’s not my fault – do you know how many other parents would think otherwise? Send their daughters to Europe for six months, to recover? No. My parents hired tutors to come to me when I was showing too much to go to class. Nanny Fitz – she was my nanny growing up – was thrilled to step in. None of my professors knew – and certainly none of my classmates. Fortunately he was born in the summertime, during vacation.”

 “What do you tell everyone?”

 She shrugged. “We say that he was the son of a second cousin from upstate, and orphaned in a typhus epidemic. It happens often enough – you know that from being in the news business. Nobody questions it. They praise us, even, for taking on such a charity case.”

 A pause.

 “But it does grate on me – to not be able to acknowledge him as my own, out in the world. I take him out, of course – when he was a baby I pushed his pram, and now that he’s older we go on walks together. Even visit Madison Square Park.”

 It was too much. She had to know that she had his support. So slowly, tentatively he reached his hand to lie atop hers.

 “You don’t have to bear such a heavy burden alone, Claire.”

 She looked at him. Really looked at him.

 “I’m not alone – I’ve got Mama and Papa and Nanny Fitz.”

 “That’s not what I mean. And you know it.”

 “I know it’s not, Jamie. But at the end of the day – it’s not just me I have to worry about. You can’t blame me for being cautious. How do I know you won’t hurt me like he did?”

 Jamie was taken aback.

 “What makes you think I would?”

 “I don’t exactly have the best track record, do I? Plus, I’ve got Papa’s money, and this house, hanging like a porkchop around my neck. And I’m pretty enough to look at.”

 “You are.”

 She snorted. “Like I said – plenty of reasons for unsavory characters to come knocking.”

 “But that’s not your fault, is it? And surely you don’t think I’m unsavory.”

 She didn’t answer.

 Somewhere in the house a grandfather clock chimed.

 “You want much more than an article, don’t you, Jamie?”

 “Like I said, Claire – I want to know you. Whatever you care to show me.”

 “But why?”

 “I will be honest with you, Claire – for it’s what you deserve. Why? Because I find myself wanting very much to be a part of your life. “

 Her eyes widened.

 Now he took her hands between both of his. Pressing them tightly.

 “Claire, I’ll have you in whatever way I can. Whatever way you will have me.”

 She swallowed. “But why, Jamie? I still don’t understand why.”

 Now he smiled. “Don’t tell me that maybe out of something terrible, something beautiful can happen. That two people who are in so many ways alone, can find each other.”

 Her eyes filled with tears. He longed to thumb them away – but held his distance. Respectful. Trying his best to puzzle out this strange, singular woman.

 “Miss Claire?”

 She whirled to face Lizzie in the doorway.

 “Yes?”

 “Dinner is served.”

[meditativeyoga]

Cancer and Insomnia: A Short, Relaxing Sequence to Put You on the Path to Sleep

You probably understand the feeling - depending on bed for hrs on end checking out the clock with the mind swirling, chattering as well as generally keeping you from dropping off to sleep. You re-play the events of the day getting captured in circular ideas like "Why did I say that?", "Why really did not I stand up for myself at the office?", or "Just how am I mosting likely to pay my bills?". The frustration of sleeplessness splashes over into the next day and also you find on your own grabbing one more cup of coffee to make it via the day. One in 4 Americans experiences sleeping disorders yearly, with 75% of those sufferers recovering without developing chronic sleep problems (1 ).

Cancer, Insomnia and Immunity

For cancer cells individuals, the stress and anxiety of diagnosis as well as therapy can be cause for better sleeplessness. Lately dealt with cancer patients are twice as most likely to develop sleep disruptions as the basic populace (2 ). It is not only the swirling stressful thoughts that keep patients awake, yet muscle mass and joint pain might stop them from locating convenience and accomplishing deep relaxing rest. Several steroidal cancer medicines can additionally trigger sleeping disorders, and also patients commonly need prescription sleeping help to get over it.

Regular sleep is so important to every facet of life, from physically really feeling far better to be able to think even more plainly. From remaining in a far better mood to being able to heal faster. Sleep improves resistance at the cellular degree enabling immune cells to be produced as well as cells to be fixed. Demanding sleep-less evenings have both as well as an immediate as well as long-lasting damaging impact on the wellness of the immune system. (3 ). For cancer cells people or people whose body immune systems are currently compromised by therapies, rest is a vital component of sustaining the body's all-natural recovery processes.

You Deserve Better Sleep

But exactly how do we get much better rest? There are lots of ways to boost rest health consisting of preserving an established going to bed, creating a relaxing pre-sleep routine like taking a warm bath or alcohol consumption herbal tea, restricting light and electronic devices in the bedroom, as well as producing a warm welcoming rest atmosphere. Yoga exercise methods can additionally assist enhance rest and over 55% of yoga exercise specialists report that yoga exercise assists them sleep much better (4 ). Specifically, we will be taking a look at techniques that activate the parasympathetic nerve system, or "rest as well as absorb" response. This component of the nerves neutralizes chronic overstimulation of the considerate nerve system, or "flight or fight" feedback brought on by living in the contemporary world.

Yoga for Insomnia

The yoga technique that adheres to is a combination of practices to allow simpler sleep. It is composed of mudra to assist peaceful the late-night ruminations of the mind, mild back motions to alleviate body pains, soothing pranayama to release stress and anxiety, and a moderate inversion to initiate the relaxation feedback. Technique in the hour before you go to bed to make use of the sleep-inducing benefits.

Yoga Practice Tips

Do a little yoga daily to give yourself the moment as well as space to heal. Make yoga exercise a long-term component of your life after cancer.

Stay conscious of the body as well as breath throughout the practice. Only relocation in a comfortable range of movement. If you come to be awkward, lightheaded, nauseated or breathless, stop instantly as well as rest for a couple of moments.

For this method, a yoga floor covering and two soft props (boosts, blankets or cushions) will certainly be helpful.

Stating Intention with Vajrapradama Mudra

Stating a purpose, or Sankalpa, is an essential very first action toward making use of yoga as a healing method. Combining intention with the adhering to mudra that settles doubts by boosting your capability to count on yourself can offer as a suggestion of your goals throughout this time.

Begin being in a comfy seated position.

Clasp your hands together with your fingers on the outside.

Open your palms in the direction of your chest so that your thumbs get to upwards towards the ceiling.

Loosen the webbing in between your fingers and hold your hands in front of your heart center as well as notice the physical and also energised impacts of this gesture.

While holding Vajrapradama Mudra state your sankalpa 3 times silently. If you have difficulty developing a purpose, utilize the declaration, "I deserve to be well-rested."

Hold the mudra for a couple of even more breaths, then launch the hands.

Apanasana

When a tight and throbbing body adds to sleepless evenings, activity is usually needed to launch stress, convenience pain, as well as relax muscle mass to make sure that rest can come extra quickly, particularly if you experience periodic troubled leg disorder or cramping during the night. Attempt this basic effective series of motions that can be done on the flooring or reclining in bed.

Begin pushing your back with your knees bent as well as your feet on the floor

As you breathe in prolong your legs making certain that you do not feel the strain in your lower back. If you feel a stress, keep your knees curved and also your feet on the floor.

As you breathe out draw your right knee towards your upper body with your hands clasped in front of your shin, as shown.

Then as you breathe in expand your appropriate leg back to the flooring and also either relax your arms to your sides or reach them over your head.

As you breathe out and breathe in once more, repeat the movement with your left leg.

Alternate sides for 5 or more repetitions, unwinding right into a moving pattern with your breath.

Reclining Twist

A mild twist can be useful for launching muscle tension from the hips and also reduced back which may assist you to be extra comfortable when you recline to rest. Attempt this version on the flooring or in addition to your bed.

Recline on your back with your knees bent as well as your feet on the floor. You might discover it useful to put a strengthen or block on the appropriate side of your hips.

Press your feet into the floor and also slightly lift your hips up so that you can shift your hips a couple of inches to the left, after that lay your hips back down.

Draw your knees in the direction of your chest as well as unwind your legs to the right, using the prop under or in between the knees as required to maintain both of your shoulders on the floor.

Breathe right into the left side of your abdominal area and also chest as you rest in this placement up to 3 minutes.

To come out of the stance, draw your left knee up complied with by your right to make sure that you are hing on your back again.

Then area your feet on the floor and repeat the spin to the various other side.

Chair Forward Fold

A mild onward flex shares the tension-relieving advantages of the reclining spin above as well as calming psychological and psychological power that can aid to prepare the body and also mind for sleep. Attempt this variation with the head supported by a chair to make sure a feeling of surrender as well as ease.

Sit cross-legged in front of a chair seat using a folded up covering or boost under your rest bones if it assists your capacity to turn your hips forward.

Lengthen the front of your back and also location a reinforce along the front of your body for support.

Then lean onward from your hips and relax the reinforce versus the front edge of the chair seat.

It may be a lot more comfortable to transform your head away (as shown) and also relax your arms on the seat, making certain to alter the turn of your head half-way through the position. Or else, you might put your forehead on your piled hands, or rest your arms down by your sides.

Rest in this setting for up to 3 mins so long as your hips as well as legs are comfy. Breathe into the back of your body inhaling up your back and also exhaling down your spine.

To appeared of the stance, involve your lower belly and attract your torso back upright.

Repeat the pose with your various other leg went across ahead. Notice that the leg that gets on top or ahead gets the most stretch in this posture.

Chandra Bhedana (Left Nostril Breathing)

Different breathing patterns develop various results and right here you will certainly exercise pranayama that can calm a swirling mind. In this pattern, you will certainly take a breath in through the left nostril which activates Ida Nadi. This left pranic network is usually called the moon channel as well as is cooler, calmer and also extra introspective than the right channel. You will certainly then exhale with the best nostril which is related to pingala nadi, the more active or solar network. Imagine that you are enabling calming lunar power to move via your active busy mind.

Begin seated conveniently and also place the index as well as middle fingers of your leading hand at the place between your eyebrows.

Use your thumb (or ring finger if you are left-handed) to close your right nostril as well as inhale via that side.

Hold your breath in easily for a few seconds

Then utilize your ring finger (or thumb if you are left-handed) to shut your left nostril and exhale through that side.

Hold your breath out conveniently for a few seconds.

Continue breathing with this pattern, inhaling through your left nostril and also breathing out with your right nostril with minor pauses at the top of the breathing and also bottom of the exhalation.

Can you feel that the breathings are cooler than the exhalations? Notice the results of this breath as you proceed for a few minutes.

When you are completed, spend a few moments unwinding the breath back to its typical daily pattern.

Legs in Chair

Elevating the legs prior to you go to rest can help in a number of ways. It will kick back the reduced back and also assist to launch deeply-held tension in the hips. The mild inversion additionally shifts the circulation of blood from the feet in the direction of the heart as well as sends a signal to the parasympathetic nerves to activate the relaxation response. It spends some time for this inner shift to take place, so remainder here for as long as you feel comfortable.

Find an item of furniture in your house such as a soft chair, sofa seat or ottoman that you can utilize for support. You might utilize the side of your bed or perhaps lie with the feet up on your headboard.

Recline in front of your support and place your calves on the seat, supporting your head with a folded up covering or cushion if needed.

Completely unwind your legs and also relax your arms somewhat away from sides with the hands facing up.

Rest right here for at the very least 10 minutes.

If you do not desire to drop asleep in this placement, you might wish to set a timer.

Also, see to it that you are warm sufficient, put on socks or cover on your own with a blanket.

[honeymoonjin]

Chapter Four

Summary: When you hear that your recently deceased grandmother left you her property in her will, at first you think that a dinky old cottage in the middle of nowhere isn’t going to mean much for you. But after spending a night there, you discover something far more valuable than the house itself: a hidden door that leads to another time, the same place but over 200 years in the past. In the late 18th Century, there is a king who will die before his 21st birthday unless you can save him. Will you help him, even if it means leaving your own life behind?

A/N: Okay so the queuing system didn’t work out which is why this one is a little late, apologies for that (consistent uploads are apparently not my forte) but please enjoy the chapter!

You don’t even bother sharing a look with Yoongi before you’re dashing forward. The guard calls out but you barrel past him, tearing the thin fabric of your petticoat and bundling it up to press firmly against the wound. The knife got him on the left side of his front, and from the amount of blood that had already drenched the surrounding fabric of his shirt and jacket, it was a deep cut. The King groans in pain but looks up at you with frantic eyes.

“I’m a healer,” you explain hurriedly, glancing up to the guard to address him too, “I can help you.”

The guard shakes his head and protests in a gruff voice. “Sir, she’s a stranger, and we still don’t know who planted the-”

“Let her stay,” King Jeon weakly commands, face turning pale. “She can…prove her worth.”

You take a deep breath and try to think back to your courses and various work experience visits you had gone on. You could do this. Pressure on the wound to stop the bleeding was really the most important thing to keeping him alive. Without considering if it was inappropriate given his status, you grab the King’s hand and press it against the fabric, instructing him to push down even if it hurt.

Behind you, Yoongi takes the guard aside. “Call in Seokjin, now. Y/n is a skilled healer, but all smiths need their tools. Y/n,” he calls out to you, “what do you need to aid His Royal Highness?”

You glance up, placing your bloody hand over his to make sure he maintained enough pressure. “Something to clean the wound, and bandages. If he needs stitches, we’ll need to move him to a flat surface like a bed first anyway.”

The guard nods dutifully and dashes off.

You’re ready to just wait in silence until their doctor comes, hopefully with advanced enough tools, but a choked voice draws your attention. “Tell me,” King Jeon forces out, “what you’re doing, girl.”

“Uh,” you swallow, taken aback by the vulnerable look in his eyes as he blinks up at you, mouth slack. “If you bleed too much, you’ll die. So, we need to make sure the blood stays in your body. That’s why I’m putting pressure against the wound. If the blood has nowhere to go, it’ll clot faster, and that is the first step to healing. You’ll be fine, Your Majesty, I promise you. I’ve got you.”

He chuckles weakly, wincing when the movement in his chest tugs at the cut, and nods slowly. “I think you might just know more than my own healer, Miss Min. If you are this well-versed in all aspects of health, I might just promote you.”

You smile down at him, unaware of the racket behind you as the doors burst open and the guard returns with the healer. “I hope the pay is good,” you joke.

His eyes fall shut, tears of pain clumping his dark lashes together into little points. “Of course. I always reward a job well done.”

“Out of the way,” a familiar voice calls, and before you can even obey, you’re being manhandled by the guard as he lifts you under the arms and drags you out of the way.

Another young gentleman with a large leather sack drops beside the King. He reaches forward to the front of the bloody shirt, and his nimble fingers undo a button, before he pauses and looks up at you. “Remove the lady,” he instructs, and you feel yourself being carried gracelessly down the hall.

“I can walk, you know,” you grumble, but he ignores you, not letting up for a second until the two butlers open the doors from the inside and shut them behind you two.

He lets you get your feet under you before letting go, but you still stumble a little to catch your balance. “I didn’t get the chance to introduce myself. Jung Hoseok, at your service, miss.”

You smile cheerfully. “That’s fine, things were a little hectic in there. Min Y/n, uh, at your service too, I suppose.”

He flicks you a smile in return, and you’re pleasantly surprised to see how it lights up his whole face, giving him a completely different demeanor from the serious professionalism you had seen before. “You’ve torn your petticoat and the blood has stained your dress. I’m sure the King would want you to have decent clothes to wear after you potentially saved his life. Come with me and I can take you to our seamstress.”

You grin at the thought, but as he leads you with a modest hand on the small of your back, you catch sight of a grandfather clock at the far end of the hallway. “Oh, fu- far out, look at the time! Maybe I can get a new dress some other day, I really need to get going!”

He blinks in mild surprise. “Oh, are you needed elsewhere? Miss, I do imagine the King would want you to stay around long enough to give his thanks after he recovers…”

You pick up your pace and he has no choice but to follow as you all but run down the stairs noisily. “I’ll come back later, don’t worry, I’m just running late for something.” You reach the bottom and rush to the front doors, pausing as the two butlers swing them open for you. “Mr. Jung, it’s been lovely meeting you all. Can you please tell Yoongi that I’ve gone home? Thank you, good day.”

Without giving him time to protest, you’re sprinting down the stone steps and out into the fields, hoisting your skirts up enough to get some speed. When your heart is pounding and your throat aching from panting, you come to a stop and powerwalk.

Luckily, you simply follow the path as a straight line right into the village and walk out the other side to find Yoongi’s cottage, a sooty wisp of smoke still escaping out the chimney as the fire smolders, untended.

You switch out your clothes, dumping the ruined fabric of the dresses on the floor and leaving through the tiny door. Back in your time, you collect your cellphone and hop into your car, cringing at the stream of texts from your boyfriend wondering where you were.

So sorry, you type with a onehanded fumble, running late, coming now.

He reads it but doesn’t reply, and you wince, with nothing to do but drive into town as fast as you can manage. Twenty minutes later, you arrive at his house and rap on the door.

The moment it swings open, you leap into apology mode. “Jimin, I’m so sor-”

But before you get the chance to recite the plea for forgiveness you had planned, Jimin pulls you into a tight hug, burying his face in your neck. “I was so worried,” he mutters into your hair, “you hadn’t text back and I thought something had happened.”

You let him enjoy the embrace for a few moments longer, appreciating the comfort yourself, before detaching gently and shutting the front door behind you. Automatically, his hand drops down to intertwine with yours as he leads you past his roommates in the living room to his bedroom. “Why were you worried? You should be angry, I was late when I said I’d be here at ten.”

He tugs you onto his bed and shuffles up so that both of you lie side by side against the pillows, and hooks one of his ankles around your leg, staring balefully into your eyes. “You weren’t answering your phone, and I knew you were out in the middle of nowhere at that house.” His face crumples. “You have no idea how badly I wanted to drive out there and check up on you, but you never gave me the address.”

You think back to the cottage. What if he had driven out only for you not to be there. “I’m sorry,” you repeat morosely. “Shouldn’t you be getting ready for work? It’s almost two.”

Suddenly his face morphs into something more like mischief. “I called in sick,” he admits, “I was hoping you were just late or something, and I knew if you came around like this I wouldn’t be able to resist staying with you. I’ve missed you.”

You smile blissfully as he leans forward and presses soft kisses all over your face, ending with a slower, deeper one on your lips. “I missed you too. I’m glad we can spend some time together now.”

He nods happily in agreement. “Why were you so late, though?”

Your breath catches. ‘A magical shaman took me to the Jeon era so that I could influence history’ wasn’t really going to be a helpful answer. “I wanted to clean the place up before you came over, but the clock in the kitchen was off and I didn’t realize.”

He hums and snuggles further into you so that your bodies are pressed tightly against each other. “Maybe we don’t go out there. I was thinking about all the rats and spiders there must be out in the countryside, and I think it would be better if you stayed here tonight.”

You did already save the king’s life, you figure. Maybe you promised Jung Hoseok you’d come back so that he could give his thanks, but as far as you were concerned, your job was done. “I’d like that,” you answer honestly. “Although we probably shouldn’t have a nap now if we want to get any sleep tonight.”

Jimin grins wickedly and slips a warm hand up inside your shirt, chuckling at the way the skin of your stomach jumps beneath his light touch. “Who said we’d be sleeping tonight?”

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