Grid Kid
"Hey, think I could meet your parents?" Logan swears he's never felt such happiness at hearing that, it was stupid, but Logan technically told the media he had two sets of parents. It always confused people until they saw the pictures and it suddenly became clear.
"Yeah, but which set?" You cock your head to the side and smile. "Can we get them out of the way, they scare me," Logan had to control the smirk as he nods his head. Yeah, Nico and Jenson could be pretty scary to meet two World Champions, but also people considered Nico to be terrifying. "Nico won't be that bad," Logan comforts, as you roll your eyes.
"Please, what'd he say when you told him you finally asked me on a date?" Logan grumbles under his breath and you move climbing in his lap, "Hmm what was that?" Logan giggles as you grab his face smiling placing a soft kiss on your lips. "It's not important what he said, besides, Jenson will be there so he can keep Nico under wraps," You giggle as Logan's fingers dance along your sides.
"Okay, okay, so when should I meet them?" Logan thinks before looking up, smiling brightly.
-----------------------
"Logan, this is so not appropriate," You groan, as you stare at all the Legends surrounding the Williams F1 car. "It's perfect, Jenson is here, and so is Nico, and besides Nico would rather die than act out in front of all these people," You turn, seeing Nico cock his head staring at you, Jenson next to him talking to Nigel Mansell.
"Logan, look it's Nigel Mansell," You whisper, eyes wide as you stare at one of the F1 legends. "Yes, he used to drive for Williams," Logan whispers, and you narrow your eyes as Logan blushes, "Sorry, I know you know that," Kissing your temple you giggle and bump your hip into his.
Now you've caught the attention of both Jenson and Nico, and feel the need to pull away from Logan, but he refuses to let you budge. "Come on, Nico! Jenson!" You've always found them attractive, but in this moment they screamed protective parents and you felt like dying for a different reason.
"Logie, hi, love," Nico smiles, pulling Logan away and kissing his cheek and hugging him as you nervously shake Jenson's hand introducing yourself. Jenson smiling, "Thank you," Jenson whispers, but he doesn't elaborate, you know what he means.
Logan has been having a tough season, one not of his own doing, or something he could fix easily. "So, this is who you're dating," You feel yourself stand up straight at smile as Nico takes you in, he smiles, but it feels like he's scanning you.
"You are just," Logan and you both hold a breath as Nico starts to smile. "So cute, oh my god, how'd you land a someone like them," Slapping Logan on the chest, he makes a soft oof sound, Jenson chuckling and rubbing Logan's hair, Logan leaning into Jenson who whispers soft words, Nico pulling you into a hug.
"Protect him, yeah?" Nico asks, and you nod your head. You'd always protect Logan, he was from the sunshine state and literally was ray of sunshine, he just needed people to believe in him. "He's a soft child, a child thrown to the wolves. Part of me still wishes I drove," Nico grounds, knowing he and Jenson would never allow this to happen.
"He'll be okay, really, no matter what happens. He adores you two, besides, he's stronger than he looks," You smile, and Nico makes a face. "Darling, to much information," Your face turns red as you try to find the words but Jenson laughs loudly. "Nico, stop teasing the kids," Logan groans and leads you away, Nico waving his hands around at his best friend, Jenson just rolling his eyes.
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ok ok fat disclaimer before i drop this take because i just KNOW this isnt gonna be received well , but
I AM NOT RACIST. I AM NOT RACIST. I AM LITERALLY NOT RACIST AND MY OPINIONS ARE NOT BASED ON RACE .
this is from a WRITING perspective, NOT PERSONAL PREFERENCE .
and now that we have established this, i will single handedly drop the take that will get my account mass reported and banned, and understandably so
as much as i love him , gaz dying would have been much better writing than soap .
think about it; he's the right hand man of price (one of the franchises most iconic characters and the lead protagonist of the series) , and is one of the most changed characters compared to the 09 versions . had some of the best writing and development throughout the series (apart from ghost and soap in mw2 but NOT mw3 they were just fuckin arounf the whole time) , and is arguably one of the most important and underrated leads . a death from him would have a huge effect on the team , especially price , and would make far more sense than soaps .
because in my opinion, soap was just fucking around the whole mw3 . made not a SINGLE smart decision (but not much characters did it was a battle of who could outstupid each other), and had less impact compared to gaz .
of course, we're changing the way he died and the final fight sequence because lets be real soap's death was one of the most underwhelming and medically inaccurate ways to die, but we should have killed him off like a main character. i would have much prefered gaz to die as the hero he was, and have some form of final interaction with price . let's create a sequel that is vengance in it's entirety, show the community the effects of tf141 without gaz that opens up so many plot potentials . because let's be real , that would have emotionally destroyed the whole fandom far more than the actual ending is , and created a far more interesting plotline .
ok hot take done please dont come after my whole bloodline please
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Would be waiting for acheron brainrot ramble here
Is it time for Acheron brainrot ramble? It’s time for Acheron brainrot ramble. Prepare for the most stream of consciousness post ever, I had so much fun writing this she has taken over my consciousness and puppeted me for my own ends, and commanded me to demonstrate how peak she really is. So enjoy, hopefully I can get others to love Acheron just as much as I do.
I think there are three reasons why I like Acheron 1) she’s really fucking cool 2) I love characters who guide/mentor others 3) She’s charming as hell.
Hoyo you aren’t allowed to make characters this good.
The music in her trailer, her aesthetic, the amount of fire fucking one liners. THE COLOR RED (I’ll get into it)
“Find me, your end, my origin.” Who cooked here who wrote this who’s the chef please where’s the restaurant I’m eating this up
“On the still waters of oblivion, I guide the wandering souls” GRAHAJDJWJKSSW YES YOU DO OH MY GOD I CANT PUT INTO WORDS HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS LINE SHUT UP EVERYONE SHUT UP. Like she literally is at the edge of existence fighting to help others find their future, I just. RAAAA
SHE CUTS A BLACK HOLE IN HALF?? HUHH AUGHH a black hole that’s the manifestation of meaninglessness in the universe, and she goes “nah” and fucking obliterates it?!!?
“I weep for the departed” Those who have died are gone, and slowly losing themselves even further. For decades, centuries, millennia, even, Acheron has witnessed this, and still cries for them, still guides them to the other side, even if the task itself is meaningless, because someone should do it, someone has to do it, and that someone is HER.
She saves Aventurine, she saves the Trailblazer, she saves the entirity of Penacony. Someone blessed by the manifestation of nonexistent dedicates her life to giving others a reason to live.
Aventurine asks her why people should bother living, if the dice are always weighted in a certain outcome, then why should we keep going? Aventurine asks her why people should bother living if the universe is meaningless?
He fully expects her to say people shouldn’t.
But Acheron doesn’t do that.
The dice are weighted against us. Not just in game, but in reality itself. We will all die, you will die, the people you care about will die, I might die, it remains to be seen. However, before that inevitable ending, before the curtain finally closes, we have so many choices to make. If the ending is the same for everyone, it doesn’t matter, and Acheron tells Aventurine this.
Because the Nihility envelops everyone equally, the universe is equally meaningless for everyone, nobody is the special someone destined to have a destiny. Therefore, it doesn’t matter. Aventurine has no reason to live. And Aventurine has no reason not to live. She tells him his time hasn’t come, because it hasn’t. Until that dice roll, until his final breath, Aventurine can still make choices and he can still choose to live for himself, and that’s the answer Acheron gives him.
But she knows that’s not enough. Aventurine will still struggle to live for himself, after all he’s been through, after the mountain of expectations and hopes and dreams piled onto him. So she tells him his friend has already given him the answer. Aventurine pulls out the note written by Dr. Ratio. It doesn’t give him a plan, doesn’t inform him of what expectations he has for him, doesn’t list every single reason why Aventurine should keep going. Ratio tells Aventurine to stay alive and keep on living, because he doesn’t need anything more than that, there isn’t anything more than that. Her caring about Aventurine, Ratio caring about Aventurine, that’s enough to keep him going, because other peoples love is enough of a reason to exist, universe be damned.
existing. The Existence. AKSJAKKSNDKKWEN.
Like you don’t understand, you don’t understand. ACHERON IS ENVELOPED IN THE MEANINGLESSNESS OF THE UNIVERSE BEFORE SHE FINDS ITS EXISTENCE, ITS VALUE, ITS MEANING. Even if it can never be achieved, Acheron is willing to destroy herself completely as she walks farther and farther into the Nihility trying to find the Existence, even if it takes every from her she will find it. Only by giving up her existence can Acheron find the Existence and kill the Nihility. Only by sacrificing her own life and giving up her own meaning can she give it to others.
Red. She tells the trailblazer that when they can no longer see the world in anything but black and white, there will be a brief flash of Red for them.
Red is the Existence. Red is the color of her blade that allowed her to cut that black hole in half. Red is the only color left when she unsheathes her sword. Red is the color of the tears she cries. Red is the color of the words she speaks to us that truly matter.
Red is the color she cuts into reality. In a world of black and white, in which all the light has been swallowed by IX, and the path ahead is blurry, Acheron illuminates the universe’s future in bright red, creating color, creating life, creating Existence in a world devoid of it.
We will encounter the Nihility along our journey, just as we would encounter every other aeon. The world will seem meaningless, and it will be devoid of color, but when the Trailblazer needs it the most, there will be Red. A reason to keep going, a reason to exist, a reason to keep on Trailblazing, because the path of the Trailblaze’s end is also at the Existence, and we will meet Acheron there again. Whether that color will come from us or her remains to be seen, but it will be there for us when we need it.
However, I think we/the Trailblazer will be alone. As that flash of red isn’t the only thing Acheron tells the Trailblazer.
Only when left alone can people pick themselves up. Only when help is absent can people truly fight for themselves. Only when you are alone, can you truly understand your existence.
That doesn’t mean other people don’t matter, that you have to walk the world alone, that you can only exist devoid of others. Quite the opposite actually, other people can be your reason to exist, something to help keep you going. Acheron knows this, which is why she directs Aventurine to Ratio’s note. That’s the meaning he can find in a meaningless universe.
Moreover, people help each other, they provide the tools other people need to exist, the anchors that ground people in reality, the reason why you might want to wake up in the morning, they create the things and ideas that you need and enjoy. It’s when you are ripped of these comforts, stripped of the things that make you want to keep going, is when people fight for their existence. As in a world devoid of everything, can you truly appreciate the things you have, and acknowledge that since there is now nothing, you are the only something. When there is no one there to save them, fools pick themselves up, and that is Existence.
I love Acheron. I love her silly amnesiac tendencies, I love her beautiful design, I love that she’s a Mei counterpart, but most of all, I love what she stands for.
Acheron is the indomitable human spirit personified, she quite literally chooses to exist in the face of absolute nothing. When the world loses all color, does she paint reality in a bright red with her sword, writing her own destiny with each and every slash.
And for that, I will always adore her.
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touchstarved m5 as tgwdlm songs
more starkid x touchstarved !! npmd here
leander — what do you want, paul?, you tied up my heart
vere — not your seed, let it out
ais — cup of poisoned coffee, join us (and die)
mhin — the guy who didn't like musicals, inevitable
kuras — show stoppin' number, america is great again
brief explanations:
leander
what do you want, paul?: this song makes me think of leander & mc's first meeting, him asking why mc is in eridia, probing them for answers but keeping his own secrets safe. "so, what do you want, paul? / a man so vague can't be trusted." leander also wants to convince mc there's hope if they stick with him, just like how paul's boss is trying to get him on the hivemind's side. also the "i want you to choke me" part. i'm not going to further explain lol
you tied up my heart: once again, a song with sex stuff relating to leander ("you can tie me up if you want to") because of course. but even without that, this song has leander written all over it. your half-dead, shitty boyfriend manipulating you into freeing him? that's him alright! "i'm tied up / tied up with you / you understand me / now hand me those keys." there are also some lines that can read as leander dismissing all his escapades in an attempt to make you feel special. "all the booze and harlots / they didn't count / they couldn't break me / you're the one who caged me" + "will you ever forgive me? / i'll crawl on my hands and knees." we know you will, leander. whore.
vere
not your seed: this song makes me think of vere for very particular reasons. firstly, it's a song of rebellion. "it's not my fault anymore / no more curfews to be late for" + "not your seed / i'm not your perfect teen." no, vere isn't literally a rebellious teenage girl, but maybe metaphorically.... okay listen. he certainly doesn't like his position with the senobium. their relationship is like a parent-child dynamic in an extra fucked up kinda way. that kind of "we own you" parenting some of us know all too well (me; i'm projecting). "you left me out of your sight for one second / and look what happens / nightmare time!" this is absolutely vere finally rebelling against the senobium; i can totally see him singing this as he corners his handler, intent on giving them what they deserve.
let it out: toying with, torturing someone and asking them to reveal their deepest desires is sooo vere. "what's in your soul? / is your heart so damp and bleak / that you won't give us a peak of your soul?" he likes to play with his food.
ais
cup of poisoned coffee: firstly, i know ais drinks tea, but i have this headcanon in the back of my brain that he also serves the seaspring's red water in teacups to people desperate for help. the seaspring tea/blue goo coffee parallel is a huge reason why i love this song for ais specifically. "get your cup of poisoned coffee, your toxic cup of joey / we'll make a twisted cup of java" the voices in ais's head totally sing this jingle way too often.
join us (and die): this is super obvious. whether you're drinking from the seaspring or the blue goo coffee, you will die and join the hivemind. you will no longer be an individual, merely one of many. "we tried to convince you with soliloquy / but now we'll kill you with more than harmony" this gives me "well, we tried to get you to drink by convincing you it'll cure your life-threatening illness/injury... but since that didn't work, guess we'll just have to use brute force!" like ocudeus!ais forcing mc to drink from the seaspring. "we're gonna kick your ass / then we're gonna / fucking kick your ass!" this line has ais written all over it lol. he's going to beat your ass man! my guy's gonna fight you!!!!
mhin
the guy who didn't like musicals: mhin could sub in for paul for this entire musical and it would still work. they're both matter-of-fact, grouchy, buzzkills (affectionate). "in the tiny town of hatchetfield / lived an awful grinch named paul / ... not singing and dancing with us all / should we kill him? should we kill him?" i imagine this is vere's train of thought when it comes to mhin, like "they're no fun. should i just kill them? :3c" next, the lines "the words will come to you / we swear we will teach you / what it means to love / what it means to obey" read to me like the senobium's power over eridia, and specifically over mhin if they become enslaved much like vere.
inevitable: all the ts love interests are capable of betraying mc, but i love thinking of the implications of mhin betraying mc. they are a monster like everyone else, but they are trying so hard to hold on to their humanity. giving in to their true self is the last thing they want to do, so mhin is particular is very interesting to think about in this lens. this song is the "after everything, after all your efforts to survive and save the world, to save the person you love, you have LOST" message that rounds up the musical. "what if i told you i made it / and this is the life that i chose? / would you even believe it?" this gives mhin's bad ending vibes!!! also the juxtaposition of these two songs for mhin (tgwdlm + inevitable) is just perfect. they are total opposites, and given mhin's very black-and-white thinking (monsters BAD!), i think it's extra fitting.
kuras
show stoppin' number: okay HEAR ME OUT. kuras as professor hidgens. this guy who has been waiting for the end times, planning for it. giving in to the apocalypse. using it to serve his own purpose. in a way, hidgens and kuras are similar in their guilt; hidgens has survivor's guilt (workin' boys) and kuras is repenting for whatever fucked-up humanity-wrecking shit he did once upon a time. only, kuras helps humans as a doctor, and hidgens... writes a very homoerotic musical. "a ditty to make the chorus girls swoon / it'll unify humanity in a thundering chorus" + "an aria to rule them all / the world will come crumblin' down" it's really giving biblical apocalypse. angel trumpets or whatever.
america is great again: much like show stoppin' number, this song makes me think of kuras being complicit in & enjoying the apocalypse, though instead of just going along with the ride, kuras is actively causing it. "there's only room for right and wrong / it's me or you or you or me" + "it's a charted course at the whim of our own evolution / singularity had through a pre-destined self-destruction / so that we may rebuild and experience a new construction" definitely gives god's great flood to rid the earth of sinners, only kuras is the god in this case.
bonus: la dee dah dah day this is all of us dancing n singing together <3
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"it's a comedy show"
This is a dumb take. Fight me in a parking lot have you no whimsy in your life. People analyze and criticize Brooklyn 99, the office, it's always sunny. You know why? Because it's public domain!!! Literally everyone is free to criticize them and if you don't like it idk touch grass?
I've been seeing this take around alot and I can't help but feel like it just will never make sense. Like you can't go on and on about media literacy and then LITERALLY discourage media analysis. People are allowed to care about things even if they're dumb fictional teenagers!
"oh it's improv of course it's not gonna be clean"
I mean. Yeah? But people can still be disappointed. It can't be changed obviously but people are still allowed to discuss why things didn't feel the best.
"I just think it's dumb and people should spread positivity"
I agree! But The opinion the episode had good and bad parts can exist.
"it's so para social to be upset at [blank]"
Imma be 100 percent real with you. Half of the time this take is horribly misusing the term para-social. If people are upset directly with the players past "maybe this wasn't the best decision n genuinely was a little weird" then sure!
"contradictions aren't a bug they're a feature "
Yeah. When those contradictions actually contribute something narratively. Which we will not know until episode 20. Otherwise people can feel literally any way about it. Who cares.
"what are the bad kids supposed to do it's the end of the world"
.
There are like 17 different DND podcasts where in the final moments a villain gets a genuinely nuanced death and it's also the end of the world. Fighting is the most convenient solution because that is what the system they are playing in encourages! I agree the ratgrinders Do Need to die but I just didn't like HOW.
"shut up and leave the fandom"
Say aaaaaaaaa open ur mouth real big
Also. So no one misinterprets me.
I am specifically talking about when these arguments are used in bad faith to shut down any discussion of the episode :0
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Honestly, it is so funny remembering that Annabeth Chase's literal, stated, canonical fatal flaw is hubris.
Rick Riordan was like, "This clever, neurodivergent preteen girl believes that she is smarter than the gods, and she will get the chance to prove herself right," and he was correct. 😌
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Comte 7th Birthday Story Event Translation
Hey everybody! Been a bit of a hectic month, but you know the hype never stops for Comte in this house. I've translated the first parts of this story, with more to come as soon as I complete the rest.
Without further ado, jpnese story event spoilers below:
One day, at the beginning of October, just as the signs of autumn were beginning to deepen--
I was enjoying tea time with Comte under the pavilion of the mansion.
MC: There’s no mistaking it, clear skies and the sun high in the sky…it’s nearly autumn.
Comte: Yes. It’s pure bliss to be able to have tea time outside on such a pleasant and sunny day.
Comte, who was sitting across from me, suddenly frowns at the oncoming breeze.
Comte: But the wind is a little chilly. Are you cold, MC?
MC: No, I don’t mind it…[sneeze sfx]
(! What a moment for me to sneeze of all times…)
Comte: …
MC: I-I’m sorry. But really, I’m okay.
He suddenly smiled and stood up as I anxiously tried to reassure him.
Comte: --Don’t push yourself too hard.
Comte, who moved to sit next to me, unfolded his coat and hugged me from behind to wrap me up in his warmth.
MC: Th-thank you very much
Comte: You’re welcome
(It’s warm…)
While I’m ticklishly happy and delighted, Comte spoke as if he had remembered something.
Literally????? That's so cute. No notes that is the sweetest thing I've ever witnessed. It's hilarious because as I was reading I was so 👀 why don't you warm her up, then, Comte. And then he immediately did and I was like AAAAAAAA BEST MAN!!!! KING!!!!!!
I have decided my new eternal location will be within Comte's coat, no I don't take criticism. This is my happy place
Comte: I’ve heard that my aristocratic friends have decided to hold a birthday party for me on October 25th this year.
MC: Oh my, that’s wonderful
Comte: If you don’t mind, I’d like to go with you
Comte: --Will you stay by my side as my partner, MC?
I couldn’t help the way my cheeks burned as he looked intently into my eyes.
MC: If you’ll have me, then with pleasure
When I nodded Comte beamed, his eyes sparkling with delight.
Comte: Thank you, I’m looking forward to escorting you that day.
At the risk of calling him adorable 18 times in the course of this process, I will now be communicating telepathically--
(If it’s a party explicitly for him, it’ll probably be more luxurious than usual.)
(If it’s on his birthday, I want to do something to celebrate him too…)
What on earth should I do, what can I do to make Comte happy?
(...there’s still some time. I’ll think it over.)
It remained on my mind--
(What should I do? I was still mulling it over, despite his birthday only three days away…)
(The time limit served to make me more anxious, and I couldn’t seem to think straight. As I walked down the hall worrying…)
Leonardo: What’s wrong, cara mia? There’s a deep furrow in your brow
I love Leonardo so much sometimes, "ayo your face is all messed up, what's the matter?" this is just classic him, 11/10 never gets old
MC: Oh…
Leonardo was walking by and stopped me, which was enough to make me come to my senses.
(Yes, I might be able to get some good ideas from Leonardo…!)
MC: Leonardo, could you give me some advice?
Leonardo: Hm? I don’t mind…
Leonardo blinked with surprise for a moment, before turning his face and smiling.
Leonardo: Does cara mia’s problem…have something to do with ‘Comte’s’ birthday?
MC: How did you…
(Was it written all over my face?)
Oh MC, we really in it now--
As my voice lowered from the embarrassment of being seen through, Leonardo laughed with good humor.
Leonardo: Actually, just a moment ago, Comte wouldn’t stop gushing about how excited he was to go to his birthday party with you.
(Oh, I’m in love with you…)
I was beyond happy--but also feeling shy about it--and all of a sudden I went pink from the neck up.
Leonardo: So, what is it that you’re worried about?
MC: …I wanted to be able to congratulate him in my own way, but given Comte is a man with everything at his fingertips I have no idea what to get him. I’ve been wracking my brain.
MC: You’ve known him for a long time, haven’t you Leonardo? Can you give me some pointers?
Leonardo: I see, that’s a very cute problem
Leonardo laughed lightly as he answered.
Literally that part with MC where she goes (Oh, I'm in love with you...) had to be one of the funniest moments of identification I've ever had while playing an otome. The way she really went SOBS WAILS CRIES HE'S ADORABLE AAAAAAAA because g o d, same. I love how Comte is just that guy who gets married and is like HAVE YOU SEEN MY WIFE. I LOVE MY WIFE. WHERE'S MY WIFE--deadass it's like that one reddit guy meme (mywife is soft nd ilikeher...) from a while back.
I also think it's so cute that Leo's just watching all this from afar like ":> good for them." It just gave me such warm fuzzies!!
Leonardo: All I can say is
Leonardo: Even if you have everything…that doesn’t necessarily mean you feel fulfilled/satisfied in every way possible.
MC: huh…
(What does he mean?)
Leonardo squints his eyes a little at me when I tilt my head.
He looks calm, but also like he’s looking somewhere far away.
Leonardo: Why don’t you ask Comte what it was like, on his birthday, before he met you.
(What was it like on his birthday before he met me…?)
As I was deep in thought, Leonardo patted me on the shoulder as the corner of his mouth went up a little.
Leonardo: Well, in the end, I think even if you don’t--he’ll be happy with whatever present you think of.
Honestly this is something that's frequently on my mind, and really timely in the context of the 5th bday story that just came out. Because I really do think Comte values sincerity of feeling and consideration for him a whole lot more than he does anything material. I've also been thinking about his upbringing and how it created a basis for that feeling, a kind of vacuum in his interactions with the world--in which a buried and silenced yearning keeps resurfacing despite his best efforts to smile and keep moving. Namely because he met people and had mentors who were earnest and heartfelt in their care for him, who raised him like a human child. Then he was more or less told at like 12 with zero warning: yeah you're never going to feel that again. Perform to survive and that's the most you'll ever get out of life. (Fellas...)
How to broach the topic. On the one hand, I could see how this is a reflection of a warped understanding--arguably even a kind of deeply embodied hopelessness--that his family/other purebloods imbued into him. But on the other, I can't help but feel that's just so many levels of effed up. It's not really hard to imagine how Comte lost himself, became so conflicted and distanced from his own desires. It's interesting too, because when Vlad tells him in the main story route "So you’re not going to do anything, as usual?…You’ve always been uncertain and indecisive, Comte…Even when you lost ‘her’ during the war…" and more or less goads him, I don't think I fully appreciated the meaning behind Comte's silent answering wrath at the implication. Because to be honest, Vlad was hitting an extremely sensitive point; that Comte wants more, but genuinely struggles acting on it with confidence because of his experiences and conditioning.
One thing I love about Ikevamp is that it is quintessential good writing in the sense that, even years later, I go back and I see dimensions to what's been said/felt and more layers of nuance than I'd ever imagined. Certainly Vlad's sentiment is insensitive on the surface level: he's making light of someone who died horribly, someone who died unjustly, in front of someone who felt real love for that person's life. But even deeper than that, Vlad's mocking a profound insecurity and point of prolonged pain for Comte that he struggles to talk about with much of anyone. To know that, and to use something so deeply private, is like the twist of a knife already embedded beneath the skin. It's no wonder Comte has a moment where he's inches from retaliating against his better judgment.
I feel like I also identify with this notion of feeling like something is deeply wrong, but not having the scope to be able to fully understand why or how to break away from it. I find it really realistic that Comte needed time and input from others to move away from that conditioning, to start seeing the world in a different light. Maybe even more apt, it all started with an act of courage; messy, well-meaning, imperfect--but true to who he wanted to be for the first time in his long life.
As I was spending time with Comte later that night, I couldn’t get Leonardo’s words out of my mind the entire time…
Comte: --MC. [the way i hid my face STOP READING MY MIND S I R]
Suddenly, Comte looked over from where he was sitting next to me.
Comte: You look like there’s something’s weighing on your mind…did something happen?
MC: Well…
At the sound of his gentle probing, I find the courage to ask.
MC: Earlier today, I was talking to Leonardo about attending the birthday party. Along the way I started to wonder what it was like for you on your birthdays before we met.
MC: Could you please tell me about your birthday…before you met me?
Okay but like. I am seriously such a sucker for a couple knowing each other long enough where they just. Glance at the other and are like "aight wtf happened." It's beautiful. 100/10 hits every single time. No notes, poetic cinema.
I also love this sensibility between them where they're very good at giving each other some time to process things first. Like I can think of so many instances where Comte knew something was wrong immediately, but he waited to bring it up out of respect for her 🥺💜
Comte: …
He blinked a little in surprise, but then his face clouded.
Comte: …my birthday, before I met you?
Comte: It’s such a boring/trifling story it wouldn’t even be worth telling as a bedtime story.
MC: I’d still like to know…please, if you could tell me.
I stared at him, and he let out a small sigh after I asked.
Comte: --What I’m going to tell you now, it was a long time ago.
Comte: There were many, many occasions in which other aristocrats threw big birthday parties for me.
Okay, I wanna talk about this mainly because I was so genuinely shocked by his sheer...vehemence? And self-derision regarding who he perceives he used to be. Because I feel like he usually just tries to elide it, or make light of it--not the visceral contempt here that startled me. In some ways, I feel like it might be because he feels more comfortable expressing the extent of his unhappiness with how his life used to be, and that's a good thing. On the other--;-;. I just want to hug him so bad...Comte don't deride the man I love, he's doing his best and is very special to me and lovely 😭
(Flashback begins)
--Music plays at a spectacular venue and various meals were provided to entertain people dressed to the nines.
Comte, who was the star of the night, was surrounded by many gorgeous women…
Noble’s daughter: Congratulations, Comte
Noblewoman: Congratulations!
Blessings, mountains of gifts, and laughter echoes throughout the venue.
At first glance, it did indeed look like a gorgeous birthday party, but in reality it was just a pretense.
(No matter who I look at, this place reeks of barely disguised avaricious ambition.)
No matter how many well wishes I receive in a place where such vapid desires swirl, my heart will never be satisfied--
Comte: While it may have been a birthday party, ultimately everyone was there for the sake of my wealth, status, and power….
Comte: --No matter how gorgeous the evening party, every corner of the room dripping in vanity left my heart more unsatisfied than ever.
Literally I am torn between two feelings. The first being, oh Abel. King. You would have loved My Chemical Romance, you were robbed as a young vampire. Second, the sheer unabating passion I feel for his emo dismissal of their vapidities is enough to make me explode. Comte I want you carnally. There's something very real and hilarious about even rich people hating other rich people that makes me wheeze.
(To be fair, there were likely a few decent folk among them as it often happens in any demographic of people--I just think it's very growing pains mood to kind of lose hope in others. We all have that phase.)
MC: …
I was speechless, and kept staring at him in silence.
His profile took on a blank, empty look; it was hard to believe he was talking about his own birthday party.
Just looking at that expression makes my heart tighten…
Comte: On the surface, I made an effort to look like I was enjoying myself. But deep down it just wasn’t the case--
Comte: With one of my pureblood friends, I accidentally let it slip when I was talking to him that same night.
Comte: I feel so…empty
(returns to the flashback)
Not the dissociation taking over, king 😭😭😭😭😭😭
Although this next part gets so unhinged I was literally screaming, it's a miracle Comte is some degree of normal after exposure to whatever the hell this is.
Pureblood friend: In that case, it might do you some good to fall in love. It would be nice to fall in love with another pureblood…but it would be especially nice with a human. Falling in love with a human will fill your heart with more warmth than ever before.
Comte: Why would you go to the trouble of falling in love with a human…?
Pureblood friend: They are truly beautiful, incandescent in the short lives that they live. They have the spark of life that we lack.
I was intrigued by the “love that transcends kind” that my friend talked about so enthusiastically--
Comte: And what happened to that human lover…?
Pureblood friend: …We broke up
My friend shrugged his shoulders, looking rather sad.
Pureblood friend: I knew I couldn’t stay by her side forever. So I said goodbye before it became too hard.
Pureblood friend: Besides, if we stayed together for too long, people would eventually realize who we really are. We are different creatures, after all.
Comte: …I see. [he looks so openly upset about this ;HDSGLKHDJFGHLKSJH]
Pureblood friend: But I have no regrets. Even if it was only for a short while, I was able to love someone so deeply.
Where do I even begin with this one. What kind of advice is this.
Comte: feeling the existential dread more acutely with each passing day. will the emptiness ever end?
His friend: go have a human fling and that'll make everything better. just let someone else fix you
He really said "bestie it's time for hot girl summer" and I really just don't know what to say here. Like. Please don't try this at home????? That is not remotely the correct answer but also that's lowkey so insane it loops right back around to being uproariously funny. The absurdist humor just writes itself here honestly.
This is what people mean when they say those born rich and powerful are just severely out of touch with basic tenants of humanity.
I’m torn between feeling disappointed, but also understanding where he’s coming from.
No matter how hot the flame of love burns--it takes but a moment to extinguish between purebloods and human people.
(No, it’s not limited to love…that’s how it always is, with humans. Every interaction is destined to end sooner or later.)
Every time it happens, I feel the sadness pile up in my heart.
How long will I go on living like this? The only answer I ever get is that it’s eternally inevitable.
I lived in fear of that loneliness, seeking to avoid it by indulging in momentary pleasures--
(End of flashback)
Comte: I figured the day I would feel fulfilled would never truly come…
Comte: I lived as I pleased, such was the nature of my decadent birthdays.
Rest assured, Comte demonstrates how much he took this advice with a grain of salt throughout this event--which is honestly something I love so much about him. It's clear he really only agrees on the level of how difficult it is to be close to humankind, not really the idea that flings are the universal stopgap to his despair. I do think it's true we need support from others to grow and change, but I don't think this nuance is quite captured by his pureblood friend. I think Comte felt it didn't serve as an answer that was satisfactory to him, so he did what made him feel safe until he could understand how to act on what he wanted.
MC: Oh…
I get a glimpse of him as he was all those years ago, buried in the emptiness of his past.
I naturally hugged him close to me where I was sitting beside him.
Comte: MC…
Comte murmured in surprise, wrapping his arms around me and stroking my back.
Comte: …While I was reminiscing about my birthday, it seems I got a bit carried away with the conversation.
EVERYBODY SAY THANK YOU MC FOR HUGGING COMTE, BECAUSE GOD SAME. THIS POOR MAN :(( 💜💜💜💜
Comte: You can rest assured. It’s already a thing of the past, that I would spend each birthday mired in such dissatisfaction.
MC: Then, what about now…?
When I looked up, even from this close proximity his eyes only reflected me.
Comte: --my thoughts from that time have changed ever since I met you.
He touches my cheek and strokes it as if to seek out my warmth.
Comte: 'Even if I fall in love, this emptiness will never be filled…'
Comte: What’s more, I’ve given up on the idea that it’s futile to fall in love with a human, that I would only suffer from the distance between us…
Comte: MC, you’re the one who changed everything for me.
Screaming, crying, wailing, barking, etc.
But also I feel something so real and raw in the idea that he was just tired of being forced to hide all his life. The earnest yearning for someone who can love and accept you as you are, rather than for all that you feel you have to be. The difference between love that is perpetually conditional, versus unconditionally gifted in perpetuum.
MC: Me…?
Comte: Yes
Comte smiled and looked up gently, leaning closer.
Comte: I met you, and I fell in love with you from the bottom of my heart.
Comte: In you, I found meaning in building up the “present” that we share together, accumulating into eternity.
When I closed my eyes, soft lips pressed against mine lovingly.
Comte: …you filled up the emptiness in my heart.
The shadow that had crept into his eyes vanished just as quickly as it had emerged, filling me with relief.
(“Even if you have everything, that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re satisfied with it all.”...)
(I think I finally understand what Leonardo was getting at…)
When this occurred to me, something came to mind that I wanted to give him for his birthday…--
--It was the day of Comte’s birthday celebration. We were heading over to the party.
Comte dressed me in fineries, from dresses to jewelry to accessories, for today.
MC: Thank you for such a wonderful dress and accessories…
Comte: It was my pleasure, thank you for indulging my selfishness.
Comte: I was especially excited to dress you up to my liking, tonight.
Comte, who was sitting across from me, narrowed his eyes that were tinged with love.
Comte: You look stunning, every bit as much as I thought you would. It’s going to be a challenge keeping you away from everyone who falls madly in love at the sight of you, once again.
MC: Th-there’s no one like that, don’t be silly
Comte: Yes there is. In fact, he’s sitting right in front of you…a man who sees only you.
When I looked down, shy from all the words of praise and his unabashedly passionate gaze, the stone on my bracelet caught my eye.
(This is…)
I didn’t notice it when I was changing into everything, but when the setting sun’s light shone against it, the stone turned the same amber color as Comte’s eyes--a sparkling gold.
At the same moment, the carriage came to a halt.
Comte: It appears we’ve arrived. Now, MC, allow me to escort you.
--When we entered the venue, everyone was already gathered and waiting for our arrival. The eyes of the guests turned toward us in unison.
Aristocratic woman: Comte! Happy birthday!
Daughter of a noble family: You look very handsome tonight, Comte!
Just like the story he recounted to me of birthdays past, many beautiful women began to gather around Comte.
However, Comte’s eyes were on me….
Comte: Come here, MC
"He's sitting right in front of you...a man who sees only you."
However, Comte's eyes were on me...... "Come here, MC"
S T O P KING, it's a wonder MC didn't disintegrate from the attention, I know I would straight up perish 😭🥺💜
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Modern day school AU!!!
Chuuya was just homeschooled under an adoptive scientist father until high school and joins Sheep High(??? ig) but some circumstances ill flesh this out later lead him to change to Yokohama’s Port High.
also Odasaku is one of those assistant teachers who are like still in college and just show up sometimes to test-run be a teacher or take notes about teaching. Dazai is just that one wierdo who hangs out with the teacher assistant and that one guy in admin (ango) and doesnt make other friends until chuuya joins
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theo and liam always getting paired together in 6b during episodes where all of the other storylines focus on couples going through stuff together is so funny because when you look at it, the only episode where they really get split up is genotype, which is one of the rare episodes where scott ISN’T paired with malia (because he’s with liam) and mason isn’t with corey (because he’s with theo) aka the canon love interests. like these episodes were cutting from shit like scalia almost dying together to thiam having intimate conversations about how liam processes emotions and morey saying i love you to thiam swearing that neither of them are dying for each other 😭 just very amusing to me. theo raeken: the accidental love interest.
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7 Deadly Sins is so unappolagetically cringe and whimsy. It's like introducing your friends to your cat who you love so so much, cuz he's silly and funny and actually really smart. but objectively, it's the ugliest critter you will ever see.
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rewatching bbc merlin really has me like buzzing in my mind with so many thoughts. Like I'm kinda watching it backwards atm going from S5 to S4, I think I will jump around 3, 2, and 1 but just,,,, there is so much especially in S5 that makes me !!!!!!!
Honestly, I feel like this fandom has to give the writers more credit. Like they did a damn good job, and to me, it's such a good tragedy. Especially how S5 plays out, it takes everything and just tears you down, and down, and down. It's perfect, perfect with flaws! But still perfect
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I think one thing I will say about the finale was that the most problematic aspect of the concept of the show was how it feels like they had to use the Fionna and Cake plot to Trojan horse a resolution to a swathe of loose ends Simon and Betty's arcs had. They pulled it off even better than I ever wanted to let myself hope for for the most part but I would say my main issue if anything was how cramped the finale felt when I think they could have left a lot more up to season 2 speculations (especially with the resolutions for the alt universes, they didn't really feel necessary when they basically just had to egg Scarab).
I feel I liked the understated melancholies of seeing Simon recontextualized and kinda infantilized in that temporary form hosting his mind, and some people have said the Casper and Nova thing felt hamfisted but I thought the vibes were too cute to care that it wasn't particularly "efficient" as far as metaphors go, but that does slow down the pace which probably crunched the ending a little harder :'). But it also worked in further showing the sad side-effect of the crown on Simon's relationships, including that of stunting his ability to have ever matured in his understandings of love and his relationship with Betty. I also think their last scene in the memory worked because it was Simon reconsidering how he viewed their relationship for the first time, even if his attempt to do for Betty what she did for him would have just been an inversion of their original flaw, the scene rests on them understanding it's unchangeable anyway, so that decision doesn't matter so much and it's not something for Simon to dwell on.
I also feel I liked the scene a lot in spite of how scarce it felt in the finale was because of what was most conspicuously unaddressed, which was just the sheer logistical impossibility of any different choices they made having possibly been any "better." It sticks out because Betty says they could have made better choices, which kinda seems to situate their relationship in a vacuum as if there wasn't a very high likelihood had they done anything different at that crossroads, they would have just been literally nuked into orbit regardless. Sure, it seems like enough time had passed for them to have worked out their relationship better at least and then died, but that kinda seems better by an arbitrarily less tragic amount, and really it seems the least tragic possibilities ever were either that they conceive their relationship more healthily, Simon finds the crown and protects Betty from exploding somehow and also doesn't warp her to the future, and they live some terrible survival life but at least they get a chance to live something kinda fulfilling and Betty probably would have taken care of Ice King decently for the remainder of her life once Simon was gone while also having a better understanding of what had happened to him. The only other hand would be that she also was still warped to the future he finds the crown but Simon had not enabled her self-sacrificial tendencies and so she becomes less undividedly obsessed with saving him and instead integrates into Ooo more properly and also accepts what had become of him (I find it hard to think she would have just let him die either way though lmao).
That all said, they had been around a long time to have reflected over everything. I think it is a bit of an issue that they don't really allude to that, but I find it easy to believe that they did recognize how thwarted a happy ending would ever be for them by all angles of their reality, yet they still had that tender ache of that simple and small tragedy just between them two that still exists within the torrent of catastrophe that engulfed them and the breadth of their fate. So much horror in their lives but they reconnect and find themselves primarily concerned with that last regret of not having been able to make the ideal relationship they quite thought they had.
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what a fucking awful experience
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just got to the stupid zaharas chapter and went through dimi and claude's conversation and my god
they really did not use a single quarter of a brain cell when putting that conversation into ag
"your issue is with the church, not with faerghus?" eh wot hootie tootie claude never had a problem with faerghus and hasn't been acting like it. makes it sound like they've been fighting each other (i.e. this is meant to fit gw but and they just copy/pasted the whole conversation bc it just makes no sense).
"we have nothing to gain by fighting you." yeah, you... haven't been and never said you were planning to.
"we could've been friends." and whhhhyyyy can't you? there is an entire zero bad blood between y'all and lorenz has already pretty much said this whole second half of the war thing has been proof of the friendship between the kingdom and alliance soooo...?
"had i joined with you" uh um but you literally did this has been ongoing for half the war now
additional funnies are claude just being so butthurt that dimitri is like this might endanger your life and claude is like aw shucks my life has been endangered since i was born i'm basically an endangered species!
also, dimitri saying it brings guilt to do the things claude would do bc he's been there. lel. claude had no guilt in gw tho (for killing rhea and all that shit).
but fr tho, it just seems like gw claude and dimi got warped into zaharas and the ag ones are just passed out in the normal world having the same yeehaw ass fever dream LIKE
this entire conversation legitimately makes worse than zero sense. i can only imagine how confused people were who played ag first and got this conversation bc it like, legitimately has no place in this route. this is like a fever dream on steroids that were laced with drugs.
i was lucky i was playing ag while simultaneously watching the other routes on youtube or i would have also been absolutely bonkers confused.
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With all the mystery around who Ruby is and who her mom is, I really, really hope it isn't actually the Trickster like others have been saying, because while yes it would be nice to see something from SJA appear in current DW, it also would just feel weird at this point as the Trickster was such a Sarah Jane villain that it just feels wrong to give him to the Doctor as an enemy just because Sarah Jane is gone.
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thinking 'bout how the lads interact with what the bracelets represent, especially in their decks
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