#I would like to point out for the observant that. I wrote this in. 2020! So I would have been a cool 19 years old

[tracle0]

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[alessiamalfoyzabini]

Dark Moon | Chapter One

Pairing | yandere!Jimin x Reader

Word Count | 1,3k

Warnings | +18, explicit language, kidnapping, yandere, use of a sleep-inducing substance (not specific which one), mentions of prostitution

This fanfiction is yandere, if you don't like the genre, don't read and if you are not of age, don't read.

I don't want to hear any complaints in the comments, thank you.

This does not reflect my way of thinking or living at all, it is just a work of fiction, it is like watching a horror movie, many of us love horror movies, but we would never dream of what we see in those movies happening in reality as well.

Simply put, this story was written for entertainment purposes, it should not be seen as a reflection of my values, opinions or morals. I absolutely do not condone such acts.

⤷ Summary | She just wanted to escape her past, take charge of her life and break out of her steel cage, praying in God for a miracle that could change her life for good.

And her prayers were heard, but it was not the Divine that answered her.

That was certainly the devil in the guise of an angel, she thought as those corrupted and empty eyes searched her soul with extreme voracity.

He turned a sweet, false smile on her, before pushing her into the abyss.

➢ Author's Note | Hi, guys! Here is the spin-off of Happy Ending, I hope you like the first chapter! 🥰 I would like to warn you, Jimin in this story will not be kind and soft like Jungkook from Happy Ending, he is very cruel and selfish, he is a hard yandere

Taglist: @katherine-kookie, @dragons-flare, @m00njinnie

Taglist is open!

Chapter List - Next

2020.

Three years ago.

According to Kim Seokjin's rules, the choice of a whore was something very important. The girls chosen had to meet very specific requirements, such as not having anyone who would one day - following their disappearance - look for them. Seokjin did not want any trouble, and Jimin was not about to give him any. He took a long, deep drag from his cigarette, inhaling its bitter addiction, before blowing a thick, white cloud of smoke out the car window. He stretched his gloved hands over the steering wheel, waiting for the next move. Namjoon, at his side, checked that the situation outside was okay -nothing was moving in that neighborhood, not even the shadow of a stray cat - and this created the perfect moment. "Are you ready, Jimin?" asked the older man, beginning to prepare everything needed. The dark-haired boy's eyes sparkled, he nodded confidently as he adjusted his coat. One last glance at the clock and shortly after exactly 1 a.m. they got out of the car, long strides on the asphalt counted only by the ticking of their smart shoes. Seeing them, anyone would have said they were two well-to-do men about to attend an important event, except to glance at the squalor of the houses shrouded in darkness around them. Namjoon carried a dark briefcase in one hand; Jimin walked confidently beside him before turning into a small, narrow, grim alley.

"They have to stay here, don't they?" asked Namjoon, observing the crumbling building. "That's what they wrote," confirmed Jimin, finding the lobby door already wide open; it was a low-level Motel, it wouldn't take long. They found a guy half asleep behind the counter, the two exchanged a glance of understanding before Jimin approached the man in his forties striking him dryly in the back of the head, the latter only having a chance to let out a choked scream before passing out completely. "Thanks, man," sneered the boy, beginning to look up the names he was interested in in the register, along with the room number and corresponding key. He nodded to Namjoon when he had everything and they went up to the indicated floor. Jimin's alert and shrewd eyes immediately found what he was looking for, he pointed the door to his taller friend and together they opened it, they found the lights off, but they were trained to see even in the dark so they went straight to the two beds in the middle of the old and stale room, it was clear that such a Motel could not have all the comforts and amenities with what little they paid, there were not even cameras, it was an unsuitable and unsafe place for young girls like those asleep in those beds, Jimin thought with a grin.

Namjoon set the briefcase down on the floor, retrieving ready-made syringes from it, handed one to his friend and headed for one of the beds, Jimin chose for himself the one near the window and as the filtering neon sign light increasingly put the young girl's sleeping face on display, he inspected the young girl's face carefully, drinking in the sight of her softly parted lips and the warm breath rhythmically lowering and raising her chest. He lowered himself slightly to her neck, cautiously inhaling the light scent of roses emanating from her inviting skin. Namjoon, meanwhile, had already finished gently injecting the pinkish liquid into the other girl's arm, the substance would send her to sleep for a few hours, and Jimin should have hurried to do the same, too bad that he was merely gazing longingly at the woman, completely rapt. Namjoon noticed this and with a shade of reproach in his voice, called him to his senses. "Jimin, get a move on! Don't let your cock harden just now," he scolded him in a low, irritated tone. The young man puffed slightly, before uncorking the loaded syringe, unfortunately not accounting for the girl's light sleep, who squinted her eyelids as if disturbed by the presence looming over her with the eyes of a hawk.

She thought she was dreaming, but the figure of Jimin took a distinct and material form in her field of vision, which at first glance left her speechless.

Then a shrill scream left her throat, she tried to pull away, but Jimin was immediately on her, trying to block her, Namjoon caught up with an expletive clenched between his teeth and grabbed the girl by the shoulders, pushing her against the bed, the latter only in time to kick like a horse, managing to hit Jimin at jaw level, which pissed him off in no small measure, without any kindness or regard he stuck the needle of the syringe on her exposed thigh thanks to her pajama shorts, it penetrated the skin like butter and the girl stiffened screaming in pain, she fainted from shock without needing to wait for the injection to take effect. Namjoon let go a sigh before staring furiously at Jimin, who was touching the affected area with glacial eyes fixed on his victim. "What the fuck has gotten into you! Did you have to give her time to wake up?" he hissed, his silver hair glowing with the neon light outside, and Jimin gritted his teeth at the saintly appearance he was displaying at that moment. "I didn't think she'd wake up so easily, okay?" he blurted out, before pulling the girl's body to himself without any care, Namjoon shook his head before retrieving the other one more gently, the one had been good the whole time and he hoped the other Motel patrons hadn't heard the screams.

They should have moved in complete silence inconspicuously, but Jimin did not know what silence was, evidently. They went out with a placid step, from the other doors they heard absolutely nothing. Perhaps they were not occupied rooms, or most likely no one wanted to risk their skin to go and see what had happened to the girls, it was still a bad neighborhood that one. Jimin held the unconscious body rigidly in his arms, full of lividity. When he had watched her sleep he had called her a tender little angel in his head, well he was wrong, and very wrong, too. The bitch squealed like a goose and he would have loved to stretch her neck, which Namjoon wouldn't let him do anyway, they served without the slightest bruise to the Dark Moon. They arrived at the car without further trouble, even the road had remained deserted, and loaded the bodies into the back seats. "Let's get out of here before something else happens," muttered the friend, Jimin huffed annoyed, getting back into the driver's seat. "You're making it too tragic, no one heard us," he said, earning an angry look. "Because it was a sleazy Motel, you make all that noise in a normal house and see if no one hears you."

Jimin waved a hand, as if to say that he didn't give a shit about Namjoon's worries, bit his own lower lip piercing as he drove taking semi unfamiliar roads to leave no trace of himself. It would not happen again, after all. Yes, it hardly ever happened that he got a hard cock in the middle of a kidnapping on behalf of the Dark Moon, that had been new for him as well. He cast a glance at the other girl as well, but she said absolutely nothing to him, his body seemed to be attracted to the bitch who had kicked him, this made him even more irritated. "Should we take them to the warehouse?" The warehouse was an abandoned building in the middle of nowhere, they used it to hide their equipment, but also often to torture and kill, or as in this case, keep the goods cool just long enough to make decisions about them, it was convenient and practical. "Yes, Jungkook said that Seokjin will lose time at the Dark Moon, there have been clients giving the girls trouble and he is cutting some names off the list," Namjoon replied, reading their maknae's messages. Jimin nodded, taking the last descent of that country road that would lead them straight to the warehouse.

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Melon Bug (again)

Debut: Super Mario World 2: Yoshi’s Island

(I wanted to write some more about Melon Bug, and I liked the original post just fine, so this post will be a continuation since that one was so short!)

An isopod! Oh, joyous day! It may not look like one at all with that big ol’ nose, but when it’s rolled up, there is no mistaking it! Here’s a very fun fact: when an isopod curls into a ball, it’s called conglobation! Use that in your everyday lives.

Melon Bug technically isn’t an enemy, you know the drill, weird Mario friends, that usual thing. When curled up, Yoshi can lick them up and spit them out, defeating enemies they hit! Could this be the first instance of weaponized isopods?

The Player's Guide says "These feisty hoppers transform from bug to melon and back again." Feisty? They're only slightly more feisty than a real pill bug! And a real pill bug has a negative Feistiness Level. I don't think whoever wrote this has played the game, since Melon Bug is harmless! I also don't think they know about real pill bugs, because they clearly can't cogitate conglobation. A bug transforming into a melon? How unrealistic! What do they think this is, Trip World?

I think "Melon Bug" is a very good name. An incredible name, even! When Melon Bug curls up, it, obviously, resembles a melon, what with both being round with stripes. While real pill bugs don't really have "stripes", their tergites (armor plates) do give a "lined" appearance. If you ask me, Melon Bug could be a good name even for real terrestrial isopods!

What do YOU call pill bugs? I've always called them roly-polies, but they have so many wacky names. Woodlouse? Yeah sure, a bug that lives under wood, why not! Butchy-boy? I don't get it, but it's funny. Then there are all the names comparing them to pigs which I just do not get, but groundhogs also get compared to pigs in common names a lot, so maybe people just don't know pigs as well as they like to think. And THEN! England gave them a bunch of CHEESE-related names. What is happening over there? Are British people somehow making cheese from isopod secretions? Why would you call this creature a CHEESELOG? That's a straight up food! I kind of love this name for them for being so ridiculous! Anyway, my point with all this is that Melon Bug would be more actually fitting than the majority of the common names these have been given, but sometimes it is more fun to be unfitting!

Isn't it weird how Melon Bug's art doesn't quite look like the sprite? Such bulging eyes in the art, but little dots in-game... well, we now know the reason!

Remember Super Donkey, from the 2020 gigaleak? I feel like it's been far too forgotten for how interesting it is! Anyway, as I mentioned when talking about that game, Melon Bug was originally designed for it! It seems like the Yoshi's Island art was drawn before they decided to shrink its sclerae, and lighten its colors, but after they decided to give it little red shoes.

If you grew up calling roly-polies something else, or if you know fun names from other languages, I would love to hear them! And I hope you love and appreciate these creatures! They are so common and easy to observe, so rather than get jaded to their presence, celebrate them, and you will be able to find delight whenever you turn over a log!

[barsformars]

A Little More

//

g - fluff

p - jongho x gn!reader

w.c - 1.2k

t.w - none

a.n - i wrote this back in 2020??? i found it in my notion drafts so i edited it a lil bit and decided to post it (i dont think ive posted this? i couldnt find it on my page)

//

You tapped your feet impatiently to a made-up rhythm in your head, constantly glancing up at the clock hanging on the wall right behind your teacher. Urgh, class was supposed to end 16 minutes ago.

"Are we going to miss it?" Jongho turned to ask even though he had already guessed that judging from the way you were acting.

"If she doesn't stop talking right now," you leaned in slightly and replied softly, not wanting to get caught talking in class. That would just mean getting held back a little longer than you would like to. "Gosh, I'm not even absorbing an-“

You pause at the sudden quietness of the classroom, looking up to see Ms Kang with her arms folded across her chest. Uh-oh.

But before she even has a chance to call the both of you out, Jongho raises his hand, making up a lie on the spot as an excuse. "Sorry, they were explaining a question to me!" He nudges you with his elbow, which was your cue to apologise as well so that Ms Kang would just get over it.

"Alright, but next time don't discuss while I'm speaking. Got it?"

"Yep!" You rolled your eyes playfully at your table partner, he has a way of always getting out of trouble. It was just impossible for anyone to dislike him, and all the grown-ups just absolutely adore him.

Thankfully for the both of you (and everybody else), Ms Kang decided that there was no point in carrying on the lesson any further. She said that everyone looked 'too dead on the inside' which wasn't not true at all. It's just the case when school had started as early as 7.30 in the morning, only ending now at 5pm (or rather 5.20pm).

You stuffed all your belongings into your bag hurriedly before helping Jongho with his. Why does he always have a pile of loose notes and books under his table? Now, if it wasn't for how early the sunsets were nowadays now that it’s winter, you wouldn't be rushing him. You never liked pressuring anyone in any way.

"If we miss it today, we can just catch it tomorrow or whenever, you know." It wasn't that Jongho didn't like you rushing him, in fact, he doesn't mind it at all. He just rather not see you stressing over something so minor so unnecessarily.

Jongho had a point, but you really wanted to see the sunset today for whatever reason. Or actually there were many reasons. You know how there's always one week in the month where the sunsets just hit different from the other days? That's what you have observed at least, even if you didn't have any scientific information to back it up or prove that was really the case. Anyways, to put it short, the sunsets recently have been extra pretty and if you don't catch it today, you'll have to wait another month. Why? You have classes that extend way past 5 o'clock starting tomorrow.

And besides, you couldn’t wait any longer. As curious as you were hopeful, you really wanted to know who Jongho had caught feelings for. He promised he would tell you on a day the sunset is exceptionally beautiful.

"We still have a little more time left," you said, not bothering to explain your thoughts to Jongho. It's too much effort to try and properly formulate your thoughts into coherent sentences.

"Alright, let's go then." Without any warning, Jongho takes hold of your wrist, pulling you along with him as the both of you ran down the hallway, then the 8 flights of stairs and finally to the open field at the back of the campus.

After all the panting and gasping for air, you tilted your head upwards only to be greeted by light grey clouds filling up the sky. The golden rays of the sunset were barely peeking out from the back despite it extending out like roots greedy for nutrients in the soil.

You pulled your phone out of your pocket and checked the time, hoping that maybe this was only the starting and not the end. "They say the sun sets in 6 minutes, so I guess we just wait?" You suggested, already seated on the floor before Jongho could process your words.

He remained standing, looking down at you with narrowed eyes. There was definitely something wrong with whatever you had just said but Jongho couldn't tell if he or you were the stupid one here. "I think that means the sky goes dark then, no? Like when the sun completely sets....." His voice trails off as you tugged at the sleeve of his uniform to get him to sit down as well.

"I don't know, but no harm in waiting just a little while more."

"I guess," Jongho said with a shrug of his shoulders.

But a lot of things can happen in just a little while. For example, Jongho might just muster up a little more courage in this peaceful silence to confess his feelings for you. And in this little while, an amazing friendship could very possibly end, unless you saw him as a little more than only a friend.

Jongho decides not to take the risk just yet; there's no harm in waiting just a little while more. Just a little more, when he can be a little more sure of your feelings as well.

"What's with this weird atmosphere?" You joked, an attempt to ignore how fast your heart was racing right now. Lucky for Jongho, you were too busy calming yourself down that you missed the way his body immediately tensed up at your question.

"Uhm, I'm guessing that's-" Jongho points up at the sky that was very far from spectacular-"all today's sunset has to offer." That wasn't the best way to break the awkward silence but oh well...

"Can we wait 5 more minutes?" You had almost lost all hope at this point but you never know what might happened in the next few minutes. Maybe Jongho would finally decide to let you in on his crush's identity as he had promised. Because if he doesn't, then you might. And if it so happens that your feelings for him aren't reciprocated, you were only going to burden him with your feelings. You don't want that, but right now you're barely holding yourself back. "Do you even remember what you promised me?"

"The thing about my crush?"

"Mhmm..."

"Yea, I remember. But today's sunset isn't it." Jongho sighed as he leaned back on his hands, staring up at the now dark sky. "Just wait a little while more."

"Well, but I don't want to miss the timing just like we did with the sunset today so I'll just say it." Your voice was shakier but in no way more timid than usual, perhaps it was the adrenaline that was rushing through your veins right now. Because right now, you couldn't care less about the weight and consequences of your words.

"Choi Jongho, I really like you a lot."

[horizon-verizon]

Elizabeth I's equivalences with Rhaenyra and Dany are not 1:1. For example, Elizabeth's success was due in part to her own insight and cunning (Dany) and knowing how to choose good advisors (I think they both chose well with the information they had).

What I find a little strange is the way they are trying to present Elizabeth's level of education. Daenerys has hardly been educated, everything he knows is based on observation and intuition, but like Rhaenyra Elizabeth also received good education.

"Elizabeth did not enjoy a happy family home until her father's sixth and final marriage, in July 1543, to Catherine Parr (ca. 1512-1548), who took charge of the welfare and education of her stepchildren, which for Isabel included the study of French, Italian, Latin and Greek, as well as theology, music, moral philosophy and rhetoric (which would later be useful for her speeches as queen, written by herself)."Mark Cartwright, 2020

She was separated from her during her brother's reign and imprisoned during much of her sister's, yes but it is not fair to Dany to compare her to Elizabeth. because although she was not raised with the intention that she would govern in the future, she had a very, very good foundation.

The glorious thing about Elizabeth's speech is as the other anon pointed out the way she empowers herself, I can think of other women who gave speeches during battles But they were fighting not for themselves but for their fathers or children, because part of their duties was to give these speeches. They may not have been expected to lead on their own, but most expected these women to be eloquent.

Anon talks about this anon/post.

Elizabeth I's equivalences with Rhaenyra and Dany are not 1:1. For example, Elizabeth's success was due in part to her own insight and cunning (Dany) and knowing how to choose good advisors (I think they both chose well with the information they had).

Hmmm, yes this was niggling at my head but I didn't put it into words. Thanks. I wasn't trying to make as if Dany was the exact same sort of person as to Elizabeth, bec as you said, different available resources, diff values even with the a good level of cunning is shared between them. I was thinking more Rhaenyra vs Elizabeth, how Elizabeth follows through with her words through her own actions whereas Rhaenyra "I will have my throne or I will have his head" does not build onto her own words with her own actions. Elizabeth at least presented herself in armor at the back of the battle and stirred her followers. Rhaenyra? As this anon states:

There’s no sense of balance to her, she does basically nothing but the wrong political moves, when she’s supposed to be the protagonist of this story.

And this anon:

GRRM in part wrote Rhaenyra as a litmus test for the readers’s misogyny but in my opinion it falls flat because he gets caught up in doing that and forgets to give Rhaenyra some dignity or respect as an individual character. And it’s honestly the same issue he has in the main series. Pathologizing motherhood in particular, esp. in relation to women who are also in politics while being mothers. Fathers are never “too mad with grief” to rule competently or make good decisions; only mothers are.

And it's GRRM's fault. The presence and loss of kids do not preclude women from militant projects or being, to be repetitive, active in their own campaigns.

So yeah, I don't have or blame people for not liking Rhaenyra even taking into account how F&B is written to discourage female rule. Because even with that being true, we know about histograhpies about Queens (of all kinds) like Olga of Kiev, Urraca of Castile, etc. who were both praised and reviled and had probable truths twisted about them but a few of both interpreters of their lives and actions still included and explained how these women were beginning wars, leading armies, or were heavily involved for their own interests. GRRM definitely could have had an imperfect victim who also did impactful logistical or strategic or tactical moments as she is also having to face the pressures of having her kids killed. They don't even have to always succeed, but be there!

(And some kind of can't bc again Rhaenrya has to die & for it to be a little her own fault [Nettles] for this story to work.)

Letters, journal entries, etc. just as Daemon and Otto did in the Rogue Prince--those letters, or their excerpts rather, were also included/referenced by Gyldayn in F&B. GRRM had his options. He chose otherwise.

[thegodthief]

When I saw the length of entries in The Memoirs of Papalo Palo were considerable in yesterday's updates, I realized that AO3 would probably be a better home for the project. (That and I don't have any backups of it.) This morning I created the new work and copied all twenty-seven entries as chapters to an ongoing work.

Image Caption: "Language: English Words: 28,903 Chapters: 27/?"

Two-thirds of those words were written yesterday, over the course of the day as I played FFXIV on the desktop and had a text editor on the laptop to write the posts as I went.

I am stunned.

I am crying.

The idea of Papalo Palo came about as a "You know what would be fucked up make a good story? What if...", and the main points of the story unwound into the past from there. As I started playing the Lalafell character, Dter encouraged me to start writing a memoir of the character for others to enjoy and so I could stop telling her the story as I went. Sure. Why not? It would make good typing practice, anyway.

Papalo Palo reached CNJ 30 in one day without any help of gear, buffs, or hacks. FFXIV has been reworked to get new players to the end times end game as quickly as possible, after all. When I got the white mage job stone on him is when I realized that the story of Papalo Palo was going to be much bigger than just something for me to kick around. I created the side-blog, told no one of what I was doing, and threw everything in the wind.

Y'all know I'm still stalled on Book Two. It has been over a year since I last posted a new chapter, and the draft sits there and mocks me for my hubris. Y'all know that I have been in a bad way since October of last year. I have felt that I didn't have anything in me anymore. I couldn't make anything. I couldn't do anything other than put one foot in front of the other. I felt like I was only existing to serve other people and that there was nothing left in me that could create joy, much less share it.

Book One was a NaNoWriMo project gone good that I published in 2020. It is also over 100,000 words. At the time, I had the hubris to think that I could duplicate that for five more books in a series that I never intended to create from the jump, but the characters in Book One kept begging me to keep it going.

I fell down a lot in 2021. And in 2022. I barely remembered myself in 2023. Then I fell apart completely in October of 2023, and it has taken until a few weeks ago for me to consider that maybe I should make an effort at continuing to live.

And through all of these dark times, I would stare at the draft and no words would flow. I felt like my skill was dead, and that I was rotting from the inside out.

"I have all these words stuck in me, and they are rotting."

The Memoirs of Papalo Palo was an attempt to see if I could write anything again. If no one knew who was behind the character, then there would be no expectations of quality or quantity. Papalo could write a few paragraphs of observation or pour out his heart to flood the page in grief. No one would care.

No one would care if Papalo wrote something every day or in weekend spurts. It's a fanfic after all, and fanfic writers are notoriously inconsistent with timing.

Today, after I finished copying everything to AO3, I permitted myself the arrogance of looking at the total word count. To be honest, I was expecting no more than 10k for the entire work to date. Not... that.

I'm still crying.

I still have in me to write. I can make the words flow. I can take the thoughts of a character and put it down in a way that others can read, that others can feel.

I'm not worthless. Not yet.

I'm going to continue with The Memoirs of Papalo Palo and post the entries here and on AO3. And maybe, I'll be able to face the draft of Book Two fix that thrice-fucked opening chapter, and get Melissa on her way again.

We'll see how I fare in the light of the Crystal.

[faffreux]

hey, i hope you’re doing alright! could i ask you to describe some of your favorite dreams with fawful? your art about your dreams is beautiful and i would love to hear the story behind some of it!

Thank you so much! I'm fine, I promise <3

How about I start this off by telling you about the first dream he ever appeared in? I went back and found a post I wrote back in early 2021 where I described it, so I'll be sharing that again here. The original time of this dream was in August of 2020.

For context this was a very difficult time in my life where I was intensely overworked at my job to the degree that it was impacting my physical and mental health horribly and causing me to question myself and my capabilities, so this dream couldn't have come at a better time than it did.

08/28/2020

I dreamed I was outside during a quiet rainstorm when a skeleton key fell out of the sky and landed at my feet. Around the end of it was tied a bright, red ribbon. I remember looking around and trying to find where the key might fit but having no luck.

I woke up.

08/29/2020

Tonight I dreamed again. I found myself standing in what can only be described as a white void, a place devoid of emotion or color… That is, until I looked up. Hovering above were doors of many different colors and shapes, all of them unique in their own way. Upon observing each you could see various things happening around and within each one of them.

Some seemed to create music, others seemed to move as if they were alive. I could hear a quiet whispering inside a few, or knocking behind others. Inwardly, I knew they were all portals to other dimensions and worlds beyond my own. It was if I had found myself at the crossroads where the entrances to many universes converged. 

My gaze then shifted downward where I suddenly realized I was holding the skeleton key from the dream prior in the palm of my hand, the end of it still wrapped in the same red ribbon. When I lifted my head back up, my gaze met a door directly in front of me: one that not only happened to be the same red as the ribbon tied to the key in my hand, but that was also the only door planted firmly on the ground. I knew the key must belong to it.

Just as I held up the key and started to walk forward, the door began to open on its own and a very familiar figure stepped out. It was Fawful, dressed in the same red cape I knew from Bowser’s Inside Story. He looked almost… lost? Like he didn’t entirely know why he was here. (Not that I can blame him!)

As he stepped further out the door, he noticed me and we locked eyes for the first time. There was a long moment of silence before he started to walk towards me, and when he was about four feet away he paused and just… stared. Everything about his expression said he was trying to figure me out, perhaps in an attempt to make sense of why any of this was happening at all. However, the longer he looked at me, the more his expression began to change… from confusion first, then concern, and then finally the most unexpected one of all: understanding.

And that’s when it hit me… Fawful understood. He knew exactly what it was like to overwork yourself. In the game, his minions spoke about how hard he worked, how stressed he was, and he himself lamented towards the end over the fact that he did his absolute best and still fell short despite it all. He was no stranger to any of this. 

And just as this realization had hit me, I felt his hand on my chin. He was here now, directly in front of me with that enormous, beautiful smile of his that I had grown to love so much. At this point I started to sob, and in response he wrapped both of his arms around me in a tight embrace of what I can only describe as pure comfort and relief. 

Things stayed like this for a while, and the dream seemed to melt away slowly until I found myself awake in my bed, my eyes and pillow beneath my head still wet with tears.

After that... well, the rest is history. I've had countless other adventures with him since, both in sleep and wake alike.

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

After death | Lost Gods

He looks at the skyline ahead of him, its famous shapes that tourists gape at like they’re observing a gorilla in an enclosure. It’s all grey to him, not just because of the looming storm but because the grids of buildings and lights have become boring in a way that seems fatal—this city is a dead thing on earth, he doesn’t care what anyone says. It’s all post-mortem—the blinking traffic lights, shafts of sunlight interrupted by high-rises, yellow taxis honking, honking, honking, like they’re shouting a prayer. He feels sort of like that too, caught in kitschy after death.

A little Harrison art <3 !! And an excerpt from the opening of Lost Gods!

4 years ago today I finished writing his very first solo novel, Moth Work, & I’m kind of in awe of how far we’ve come in that short time… 4 novels & 2 novellas narrated by this man who’s a little embarrassing and a whole lot profound (but you didn’t hear that from me!). A few more thoughts under the cut, but here’s a little note I made myself in 2020, the only note I’ve ever made after finishing a book (possibly because finishing this one changed my life a little).

TW for mentions of: mental illness, trauma in the mental health system, internalized homophobia

Technically I finished Moth Work at 2:34AM because I lived on the west coast at the time lol.

I don’t usually celebrate or remember the anniversaries of finishing books. But I wanted to celebrate this one because a) it’s Leap Day & I haven’t been able to commemorate what I was doing during the last one for 4 years, & b) because finishing MW was such a significant accomplishment!

I started MW in January of 2019 because I was struggling emotionally. At the time, I was racing to figure out “what was wrong with me” before flying across the country for uni in the summer (SPOILER I WAS JUST AUTISTIC LMAO), which led to a lot of stressful and traumatizing appointments with doctors. I desperately needed a book to cheer me up but a different one from my WIP at the time, especially because in 2018, I’d both discovered my voice and become really afraid of messing it up!

I also was taking a religion class at the time that was emotionally difficult for me because I felt reallyyyy alone and especially isolated in my queerness that I’d been hiding for a couple years at that point (& that I literally would not talk about at all, not even to people I trusted). When it became very clear I needed an outlet to explore my feelings (of being “unhelpable,” internalized homophobia, a general sense of aloneness/isolation) the decision of what I was going to write became pretty clear.

I’d written 3 stories in Harrison’s POV that predated MW starting in late 2018 (they were also my first explorations in third person present tense, which fun fact, I only tried in his POV because I’ve always written my notes ideas in that POV/tense combo, even when I only wrote first person!). I hadn’t written in a different POV character’s head beside’s Reeve’s since 2016, so it felt natural that the second character I felt closest to (Harrison!!!) could be a narrator. Funnily at this time Lonan was my favourite so I’m actually surprised I did not choose him but can we imagine how different things would be if I had???

I started Moth Work in my notes app (ICONIC) on January 16th 2019 at 11:37pm! The first chapter came pretty quickly, is actually quite non-linear for a bit, and was overall a lot of fun to write. I’d planned for the project to maybe be a short story or at the most a novella (does this sound familiar), nothing very long and definitely not a novel. I believe the goal word count was 5k which is so funny bc that’s exactly how Changing States & Lost Gods started!!!

And then the project stagnated, it wasn’t something I’d planned to write seriously, and I didn’t pick it back up until August of that year when my therapist at the time suggested I try to complete a “reach goal” as I was reaching Crisis and I guess I was so done with everything going on in my life that I was like okay fine!!!! I will write Moth Work as a novel!!!!

This book literally flew with me across the country… I wrote a lot of it late at night in my dorm with all the lights off after a long day on campus. I wrote a lot of it in my intro to sociology lecture LMAO. I wrote a lot of it on my phone. It was the first project (no literally) where I intentionally explored queerness, especially my own feelings as a (sort of?) catholic at the time. I explored atheism a lot! Something I needed to process my own feelings about faith & God. I explored what it’s like to be this completely unhelpable person because you’ve decided there’s no possible way to help yourself anymore (hiiii Lonan). I also explored (a bit like a premonition), what it’s like to care deeply for someone you can’t help (but that you very badly want to help).

And I almost didn’t finish the book! The imposter syndrome and insecurity went crazyyy when writing Moth Work. I didn’t feel like I was writing the First Person Retrospective Flowery Literary Fiction I’d deemed as the only possible “good writing.” (Still LOVE but I really was struggling seeing a very minor style shift, which is funnily much closer to my writing now than when I was writing the “best” way.) I deleted so much from this book. I couldn’t look at it. I was so embarrassed by it!! I made ultimatums with it!! I edited it so much but still couldn’t stand it! It was literally the safest space I had and I could barely be there a lot of the time!!!

SOOOO this is why I’m very proud of me for finishing it lol & while I would typically have celebrated the anniversary idk, in 2021, bc it didn’t exist until this year it felt apt to sit with those feelings now. I’m really proud of 17-year-old Rachel who was undiagnosed autistic & convinced I was a lost cause, who was sooo afraid of being queer I could only think of that through Lonan (& sometimes still do thx king 🫡) who literallyyyyy wrote a masterpiece in my collection that contains some of my best work (even if I only realized that 4 years later) & that’s been the start of EVERYTHING!

This is so much more than a book or an anniversary!! Somehow I made it through all the things I didn’t think were possible and now have written 2 books & 3 (writing the fourth) novellas allllll in this world. AND 2 additional novels in his POV!! Also thank you baby Rachel for Jeremiah. Like hello!!!! This is the only place I felt safe to be myself when I couldn’t be with anyone else! And there’s something priceless about that…

And it’s all bc of Harrison!!! Whoever I saw in that man in 2019… girl thank you!! Can’t explain what it’s like to grow with that character (who is sooo much more than that to me). Never would I have predicted where I am now. And IMO, that’s all thanks to him so ily fictional man in my head, this is soooo his day LOL.

& if you were here since the first MW update & made it this far… I MUST KNOW!!!!

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

Mike Luckovich

* * * *

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

HEATHER COX RICHARDSON

NOV 20, 2023

Yesterday, David Roberts of the energy and politics newsletter Volts noted that a Washington Post article illustrated how right-wing extremism is accomplishing its goal of destroying faith in democracy. Examining how “in a swing Wisconsin county, everyone is tired of politics,” the article revealed how right-wing extremism has sucked up so much media oxygen that people have tuned out, making them unaware that Biden and the Democrats are doing their best to deliver precisely what those in the article claim to want: compromise, access to abortion, affordable health care, and gun safety. 

One person interviewed said, “I can’t really speak to anything [Biden] has done because I’ve tuned it out, like a lot of people have. We’re so tired of the us-against-them politics.” Roberts points out that “both sides” are not extremists, but many Americans have no idea that the Democrats are actually trying to govern, including by reaching across the aisle. Roberts notes that the media focus on the right wing enables the right wing to define our politics. That, in turn, serves the radical right by destroying Americans’ faith in our democratic government. 

Former Republican National Committee chair Michael Steele echoed that observation this morning when he wrote, “We need to stop the false equivalency BS between Biden and Trump. Only one acts with the intention to do real harm.”

Indeed, as David Kurtz of Talking Points Memo puts it, “the gathering storm of Trump 2.0 is upon us,” and Trump and his people are telling us exactly what a second Trump term would look like. Yesterday, Trump echoed his “vermin” post of the other day, saying: “2024 is our final battle. With you at my side, we will demolish the Deep State, we will expel the warmongers from our government, we will drive out the globalists, we will cast out the Communists, Marxists, and Fascists, we will throw off the sick political class that hates our Country, we will rout the Fake News Media, we will evict Joe Biden from the White House, and we will FINISH THE JOB ONCE AND FOR ALL!”   

Trump’s open swing toward authoritarianism should be disqualifying even for Republicans—can you imagine Ronald Reagan talking this way?—but MAGA Republicans are lining up behind him. Last week the Texas legislature passed a bill to seize immigration authority from the federal government in what is a clear violation of the U.S. Constitution, and yesterday, Texas governor Greg Abbott announced that he was “proud to endorse” Trump for president because of his proposed border policies (which include the deportation of 10 million people).

House speaker Mike Johnson (R-LA) has also endorsed Trump, and on Friday he announced he was ordering the release of more than 40,000 hours of tapes from the January 6, 2021, attack on the U.S. Capitol, answering the demands of far-right congress members who insist the tapes will prove there was no such attack despite the conclusion of the House committee investigating the attack that Trump criminally conspired to overturn the lawful results of the 2020 presidential election and refused to stop his supporters from attacking the Capitol. 

Trump loyalist Senator Mike Lee (R-UT) promptly spread a debunked conspiracy theory that one of the attackers shown in the tapes, Kevin Lyons, was actually a law enforcement officer hiding a badge. Lyons—who was not, in fact, a police officer—was carrying a vape and a photo he stole from then–House speaker Nancy Pelosi’s office and is now serving a 51-month prison sentence. (Former representative Liz Cheney (R-WY) tweeted: “Hey [Mike Lee]—heads up. A nutball conspiracy theorist appears to be posting from your account.”)

Both E.J. Dionne of the Washington Post and Will Bunch of the Philadelphia Inquirer noted yesterday that MAGA Republicans have no policies for addressing inflation or relations with China or gun safety; instead, they have coalesced only around the belief that officials in “the administrative state” thwarted Trump in his first term and that a second term will be about revenge on his enemies and smashing American liberalism. 

MIke Davis, one of the men under consideration for attorney general, told a podcast host in September that he would “unleash hell on Washington, D.C.,” getting rid of career politicians, indicting President Joe Biden “and every other scumball, sleazeball Biden,” and helping pardon those found guilty of crimes associated with the January 6th attack on the U.S. Capitol. “We’re gonna deport a lot of people, 10 million people and growing—anchor babies, their parents, their grandparents,” Davis said. “We’re gonna put kids in cages. It’s gonna be glorious. We’re gonna detain a lot of people in the D.C. gulag and Gitmo.”

In the Washington Post, Josh Dawsey talked to former Trump officials who do not believe Trump should be anywhere near the presidency, and yet they either fear for their safety if they oppose him or despair that nothing they say seems to matter. John F. Kelly, Trump’s longest-serving chief of staff, told Dawsey that it is beyond his comprehension that Trump has the support he does. 

“I came out and told people the awful things he said about wounded soldiers, and it didn’t have half a day’s bounce. You had his attorney general Bill Barr come out, and not a half a day’s bounce. If anything, his numbers go up. It might even move the needle in the wrong direction. I think we’re in a dangerous zone in our country,” Kelly said.  

Part of the attraction of right-wing figures is they offer easy solutions to the complicated issues of the modern world. Argentina has inflation over 140%, and 40% of its people live in poverty. Yesterday, voters elected as president far-right libertarian Javier Milei, who is known as “El Loco” (The Madman). Milei wants to legalize the sale of organs, denies climate change, and wielded a chainsaw on the campaign trail to show he would cut down the state and “exterminate” inflation. Both Trump and Brazil’s Jair Bolsonaro, two far-right former presidents who launched attacks against their own governments, congratulated him. 

In 1959, President Dwight D. Eisenhower took on the question of authoritarianism. Robert J. Biggs, a terminally ill World War II veteran, wrote to Eisenhower, asking him to cut through the confusion of the postwar years. “We wait for someone to speak for us and back him completely if the statement is made in truth,” Biggs wrote. Eisenhower responded at length. While unity was imperative in the military, he said, “in a democracy debate is the breath of life. This is to me what Lincoln meant by government ‘of the people, by the people, and for the people.’” 

Dictators, Eisenhower wrote, “make one contribution to their people which leads them to tend to support such systems—freedom from the necessity of informing themselves and making up their own minds concerning these tremendous complex and difficult questions.” 

Once again, liberal democracy is under attack, but it is notable—to me, anyway, as I watch to see how the public conversation is changing—that more and more people are stepping up to defend it. In the New York Times today, legal scholar Cass Sunstein warned that “[o]n the left, some people insist that liberalism is exhausted and dying, and unable to handle the problems posed by entrenched inequalities, corporate power and environmental degradation. On the right, some people think that liberalism is responsible for the collapse of traditional values, rampant criminality, disrespect for authority and widespread immorality.”

Sunstein went on to defend liberalism in a 34-point description, but his first point was the most important: “Liberals believe in six things,” he wrote: “freedom, human rights, pluralism, security, the rule of law and democracy,” including fact-based debate and accountability of elected officials to the people.

Finally, former First Lady Rosalynn Carter, who was a staunch advocate for the health and empowerment of marginalized people—and who embodied the principles Sunstein listed, though that’s not why I’m mentioning her—died yesterday at 96. “Rosalynn was my equal partner in everything I ever accomplished,” former President Jimmy Carter said in a statement. 

More to the point, perhaps, considering the Carters’ profound humanity, is that when journalist Katie Couric once asked President Carter whether winning a Nobel Peace Prize or being elected president of the United States was the most exciting thing that ever happened to him, Carter answered: “When Rosalynn said she’d marry me—I think that’s the most exciting thing.”

—

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

HEATHER COX RICHARDSON

[kp777]

By Olivia Rosane

Common Dreams

May 13, 2024

The figure comes as part of a new set of polls that show former President Donald Trump narrowly leading Biden in 5 out of 6 crucial battleground states.

Approximately 13% of poll respondents in six swing states who voted for U.S. President Joe Biden in 2020 but would not vote for him again said that his foreign policy or Israel's war on Gaza were the most important issues determining their vote.

The figure comes as part of a new set of polls released Monday from The New York Times, Siena College, and The Philadelphia Inquirer that show former President Donald Trump narrowly leading Biden in 5 out of 6 crucial battleground states.

"We have warned that this would happen for months, and the Democratic Party didn't give a damn," author and organizer Daniel Denvir wrote on social media in response to the news.

The polls showed Trump leading Biden with registered voters by three percentage points in Pennsylvania, seven in Arizona and Michigan, 10 in Georgia, and a full 12 in Nevada. Only in Wisconsin did Biden edge ahead by two points. Biden won all of these states in 2020, but he could still win in 2024 if he secures Wisconsin, Michigan, and Pennsylvania and does not lose any other states he previously won. The results were slightly different for likely voters, with Trump narrowly leading in every state except for Michigan.

One voter the pollsters spoke to was 30-year-old Gerard Willingham, a Georgia web administrator who voted for Biden in 2020 but said he would vote for a third party candidate in 2024 because of Biden's response to Israel's war on Gaza.

"I think it's made quite a bit of difference in that it made me more heavily than in the past push toward voting for a third party, even if I feel that the candidates almost 100% won't win," Willingham said. "It's starting to reach into my moral conscience, I guess."

"Biden seems to get the blame for the war in Gaza. For the high cost of living, too."

The polling comes after Biden has spent the last seven months providing military, financial, and moral support for the government of Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu as it wages a ground and air assault on Gaza that the International Court of Justice ruled could plausibly be a genocide. Only last week did Biden threaten to withhold certain weapons from Israel if it launches a full ground assault on Rafah, but several observers pointed out that Israel's incursions into Rafah so far should already qualify. Further, the poll was conducted from April 28 to May 9, so many respondents would have given their answers before Biden's May 8 remarks.

Palestinian rights and progressive activists have spent the primary season trying to persuade Biden to switch course on Gaza, launching "uncommitted" campaigns that won two delegates to the Democratic National Convention in the key swing state of Michigan. The poll provides further evidence that Biden's support for Israel's war is a real electoral liability.

"There is a cottage industry of political columnists who have said for months that these voters don't exist, only live in Brooklyn and Berkeley and on Twitter, TikTok, etc.," said Hamid Bendaas, communications director of the Institute for Middle East Understanding Policy Project. "To the extent that Biden and his advisers are buying into it, they are costing him the election."

Gaza isn't the only—or even the primary—issue threatening Biden's reflection bid. A quarter of voters consider the economy and cost of living as their most important issues, and more than half of all voters rated the economy as "poor." Further, Biden actually lost more support overall from conservative and moderate Democrats.

Responding to the poll results, journalist Frank Bruni said that Biden needed to "wake up."

While Democratic Party insiders seem to believe that there is no way voters could ultimately prefer Trump's anti-abortion stance and authoritarian leanings, Bruni warned against "complacency."

He pointed out that Democratic senators in Arizona, Wisconsin, Pennsylvania, and Nevada did continue to poll ahead of their Republican opponents, suggesting that the problem is less with the Democratic Party overall than with Biden himself.

"Biden seems to get the blame for the war in Gaza. For the high cost of living, too," Bruni wrote.

"Regarding the economy, he has a story to tell—infrastructure investment, the CHIPS Act, low unemployment—and must tell it better, with an eye not on his liberal base, but on the minorities and young people who are drifting away from him," he advised. "That's the moral of the latest numbers: Take no voter for granted. And there's not a second to waste."

[damatris]

I was tagged by @fieldofclover!

Rules: Go to your published works on AO3 and list the first fic you ever published there, the last fic you published, any fic that you wrote for a fandom/ship only once, your favorite fic you wrote in the fandom/ship that has the most works, the fic you wish more people read, the fic you agonized over the most, the fic that sprang fully formed from your mind without any effort, and a work you are proud of—for whatever reason.

First fic you ever published there: Born of Familiarity

I ended up hyperfixating on The Witcher (all versions tbh, it's got so many cakes. And it's still having me in its grip.) in 2019 when Netflix released the 1st season. In spring 2020 I was painting a portrait of Geralt and the sentence "To Geralt Jaskier registered as quiet." popped up in my head and didn't leave me alone until I started unveiling the reason. And then I ended up writing the thoughts down in fic format, writing prose for the first time in like 8 years and fic in maybe 14 years? The overwhelming positive reception only fed into the rediscovering of how much fun writing prose is (had been doing only comic scripting) and I continued writing more fics. That one also ended up being the 1st fic of the series that's my main focus.

Last fic you published: Flying High, Falling Low (Latest update was on Winter Winds and Snowmelt though)

I'll be talking about both fics later on.

Any fic that you wrote for a fandom/ship only once: Ouija Phone

It's a very slightly longer than a drabble crack fic for The Umbrella Academy. I just thought it'd be funny. It's also the only fic that's not for The Witcher on ao3.

Your favorite fic you wrote in the fandom/ship that has the most works: Winter Winds and Snowmelt

Will talk about it later.

Fic you wish more people read: I Get To Watch You Grow Up Now

This one is purely book based fic involving Dandelion and Essi. It's a short snapshot of their almost familial relationship. I personally like how it turned out despite not much happening.

Tbh, I'm not surprised at all that this particular fic has far less interaction than my other ones since it's not geraskier or has any other ship either. Plus Essi is only in a single one shot in the book series so she's not so well known character.

Fic you agonized over the most: Flying High, Falling Low

Decided to go with this instead of any long fic because the amount of agonizing versus word count is higher despite having written a bulletin point fic a couple of years ago which I used as an outline.

This one was for the Disability Pride Month Challenge in a discord group and I decided to use bipolar disorder. Which is what I have so I ended up using A Lot of personal experiences and that was both difficult and freeing. It's not the 1st time I've put them on paper or even leaned into fics but this time there wasn't much redressing some of the symptoms into different things/reasons and creating distance that way.

It's kinda surprising how very, very few fics there are with bipolar Jaskier since a lot of his canon behavior fits it. But from what I've observed, people tend to give him adhd if he's written neurodivergent. I wonder if it's because of adhd is better known or if it's because of the stigma still clinging to bipolar disorder (...most likely because of a combination...).

Fic that sprang fully formed from your mind without any effort: There's Harshness In Your Voice And Softness In Your Hands

This is a funny and lighthearted one with concussed Jaskier. It was so much fun writing him being a bit loopy and saying only parts of his thoughts out loud to Geralt's exasperation. Plus, I got to write a whole silly ditty for it that I posted as a 2nd chapter. The whole fic was written wayyy past midnight during an insomnia spell which absolutely lent itself for Jaskier's thought process. It's also my most popular fic by a pretty large margin when looking at kudos, however I don't consider it as such. (That would go to Biting Snake Isn't Better Than Knife In Your Back due to the comments and bookmarks. Sorry for sneaking in a fic not asked for)

A work you are proud of—for whatever reason: Winter Winds and Snowmelt

Winter Winds... Gosh, I have so many feelings about this fic (And Biting Snake too which is the immediate prequel). I'm really happy with the way I managed to treat serious topics about mental health, recovery from trauma, and building healthy relationships both romantic and platonic. It's not a perfect representation but the way multiple readers have told me how much they see themselves/in general identify with what the characters are going through and how it has brought them comfort makes me feel like I've done a good job. Not to mention that people have loved the slow healing and found each chapter interesting is so so great to hear. Especially since Winter Winds is the longest fic by a large margin in the Geraskier tag on AO3. Which I still find absolutely wild! I have no idea how it's currently a bit over 472k words.

Also, I'm so very proud about the fact that I'm currently writing the last chapter of it. It's been a long ride, both with time and word count. I started it in fall 2020 so it's going to be slightly less than a 3 year project. And I'm almost finished. I'm actually having so many feelings about finishing that the last chapter is a very slow writing as I'm also letting go of the fic and all the emotions I've gone through while writing it. Although, the series it's part of isn't even close to finished so I don't have to say goodbye to these particular versions of the characters.

Uhh.. I never know who to tag but @dapandapod maybe you want to talk about your fics...!

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

About the Jin post, I was thinking about the connection with the previous 'stan language' post and it seems to me that there's an obligation to be hyperbolic on stan Twitter. Minimum words, maximum drama. And the most dramatic gets more attention and quite a few members of Army like being influence leaders of some kind. It's meaningless theatre and shallow joking that actually attempts to compensate for how Jin has never been the centre of attention really

Most of this fuss isn't from Seokjin stans even. There's a weird kind of 'facelessness' and OT7ification to what stans are saying. People are sidestepping anything interesting that has been revealed in this. Like that he publicly has been the sole face of the enlistment debate for 4 years now (2 years before he had to enlist) and how burdensome he admitted it was. He has always seemed like the last member who would think he deserved an enlistment for his contributions and hence was more likely to serve.

I think a lot of nuances are lost by this insistence on treating every members action as all the members' actions - and it's all for Army ofc. Apparently Chris Martin wrote Jin a love song for his fans and this is a story fans desperately want to be real because the idea of any Other Jin would care more about leaving behind is too much self-forgetfulness for some people

These are some really good observations anon, I completely agree.

I want to expand a bit on what you said about ot7 army who are turning this into the BTS and Army experience of enlistment. A lot of focus is on their feelings and how are they gonna make it through the same process 6 more times. It's almost impossible to see Jin come out as an individual out of the way these fans are talking about it. Instead, they keep making tweets about how Austronaut is the song for them and how much they cry, while the majority of them are barely talking or not at all about things Jin said in the weverse live. And from what I discovered, several translation accounts ignored it or brushed it off and it will be interesting to see how it will look in the official subtitles.

Jin said how he wanted to go in Spring. Obviously having a training when it's warm is better than in the middle of the Winter. Except the members didn't agree with it. As Jin said, it was to have one more concert in person with fans. Now, I don't know how that talk went down exactly, but for a man who said he got hurt by all the comments of him not enlisting, to have to make another compromise, always catering to Army, it probably wasn't an easy thing to do. He wanted to announce much earlier that he is enlisting, but all of them, including the company decided that it's better not so they don't have a sad concert in Busan.

This is just my personal opinion and not to be taken as an objective stance, but at this point, fuck that. He is a man that should get the possibility to enlist when he feels it's right. Of course that by being an employee and in a group in which compromises are necessary, I see how this decision needs to be discussed. But if they were already ready in 2020 after the release of BE, that what the hell does it matter? They had the concerts in Seoul, LA and LV. They still released those stupid ass songs just to make it to the American charts and Grammy. They kept pushing it and pushing it. I don't know, it just seems like the last two years of the pandemic could have been a good opportunity to enlist since group activities such as a world tour were on hold anyway.

[perexcri]

hi !! for the ask game, 13, 23 and 37, pretty please~

13. What is a subject matter that is incredibly difficult for you write about? What is easy?

uhhh yeah! not to get too personal on main, but i just like. cannot write about kids' relationships with their fathers. the closest i got was a few scenes with Hopper and Will in irresistible, and even then i wrote them mainly as jokes, but they ended coming across as really sincere to people? like people in general were like "aw Hopper and Will bonding is great!" which is cool, but i didn't know how to explain that i wrote those scenes mostly as jokes to hide the fact that i don't like/can't write scenes between fathers and children at all

easy to write? apparently conversations about "but what's the point of doing these things if it's all gonna go away in the end" since it keeps sneaking into every single thing i write :) it'd be fun if i could learn to talk about something else, but we'll see, i guess

23. Describe the physical environment in which you write. Be as detailed as possible. Tell me what’s around you as you work. Paint me a picture.

picture a walmart desk i bought on discount for $40. picture a loft bed from walmart that i've had since i was eleven. picture said-desk under said-bed. ok? cool. now, behind the desk, there's a bookshelf i put together my junior year of high school, but i'm horrible at building things, so two of its boards are noticeably upside down, but hey, at least i have some stickers on one side of the unit, right? its shelves are sagging with reference books and books i have yet to read, and more litter the floor right behind my chair. oh yeah, my chair - it's not a desk chair. it's one of our dining room chairs that i took over during my covid semester in spring 2020 when i had to come home from school. i have a jack skellington pillow i use with it because otherwise it hurts my back. my desk is cluttered, but my desk has been cluttered every since i was a kid, so what else is new? there's scratch paper and sticky notes all over it, mail from my new job that i should really look at, mail from my beloved friends, and an old candle holder i've repurposed as a pen holder. to my right is my corkboard with all kinds of fun stuff that would take eons to describe, so just picture cards, photos, a couple of tiny bells/windchimes, and art. i've also got some fall out boy and owl city cds i've fastened to the wall to watch over me forever

oh, and pinned up in front of my desk are a few fun things: a BTS poster, a postcard with a Van Gogh quote on it, some art from Chloe Gong's These Violent Delights, an Ouran High School Host Club poster, and a passage from It by Stephen King that I made a photocopy of when I was reading it last year.

37. If you were to be remembered only by the words you’ve put on the page, what would future historians think of you?

hmmm......i think once i've passed on, if anything i've written gets passed down in any way whatsoever, i think people will be able to tell i liked observing things. like i don't talk a lot, but i watch and listen to as much as i can. so...yeah. perhaps "observant" would be the word i'm looking for (despite my own obliviousness towards lots of things, but that's a different subject matter entirely :^D)

thanks for the ask anon!! i hope you're doing well :D 💜

[thebreakfastgenie]

1, 4, 14, 19, 28 for the writer asks!

Finally answering this 😅

the last sentence you wrote

His gesture jostles BJ’s half-raised coffee cup and it sloshes. 

4. a story idea you haven’t written yet

Oh I have so many. Putting aside the ones I've written tiny bits of, the one I think I care the most about but haven't actually started at all is the MASH AU where the original cast works in an ICU in New York at the beginning of the COVID pandemic. I have a lot of ideas for drawing parallels between the situations and reworking certain elements of MASH. I wasn't going to spoil it but I'm pretty sure I have before and who knows when I'll get to it so what the hell: The main plot points I have worked out so far: Henry Blake, who runs the unit, finally retires/transfers/takes leave/whatever. Everyone is happy for him, sees him off, and puts him in a cab. A few blocks away he starts feeling sick, gets out of the cab to avoid further exposing the driver, walks back to the hospital, and collapses as Radar checks him in. Radar then tells the rest of the unit what happened. Henry deteriorates quickly and as he's dying, Hawkeye knowingly violates PPE protocol to give him some human contact and comfort. This leads to Hawkeye getting quarantined and he forgets his phone charger. He doesn't get sick, but when he gets out of quarantine he finds out Trapper quit. He plugs in his phone and finds several missed calls but no voicemail, only a single text message that just says "😘" Radar tells Hawkeye there's a new doctor on the unit and the story ends with Hawkeye giving BJ a tour. I have a pretty clear vision for all of that, but for the pacing to work right I need to show the day-to-day of the unit for a while and get the audience attached to this version of Henry before he gets sick. I have a few ideas based on episode plots, but they're a lot looser right now. I think Henry getting sick is really the climax so I only have like the last one third of the story plotted out.

14. where do you get your inspiration?

Most of it just kinda... happens. With fic it's usually something in the source material, but with original fiction I get inspired by very specific observations from real life, and sometimes that happens with fics too. So one time I was carrying a bottle of wine into the house and it was super icy and I imagined what would happen if I slipped on the ice and broke the bottle and that's where Chianti came from. But usually it's either something that went by quickly in the show that I want to dig into more or something that makes me say "what if?" like "what if Margaret was pregnant and got an abortion?"

19. the most interesting topic you’ve researched for a fic

You know, it's funny, I'm a researcher when I'm writing something research-able, but a lot of the fic I write is very character-driven and short so there isn't a lot of in-depth research to do. I did get into the weeds on buildings at Bowdoin College in the 1930s to make sure I was making plausible references one time but I think the most interesting was the fairly quick "is yellow fever endemic in South Korea?" (No, but it doesn't matter for my purposes.) With The West Wing I don't need to do as much research because I already have a government degree and studied that era of politics a bit. The main thing holding me back from writing my COVID MASH fic is the research, though. I need a better understanding of exactly what an ICU in a major city was like in March-Summer 2020, even if I take creative liberties I want to do it from an informed position. I'm not one of those people who never wants to hear about COVID in fiction, so I'm not put off by the topic, I'm just not sure exactly how to find exactly what I need and haven't yet been motivated to figure it out.

28. your least favorite part of the writing process

Just... being stuck. That part where you have to just sit and marinate an idea until you're ready to write it. It's maddening! I actually like everything else... I mean writing is torment but if it wasn't it wouldn't be worth it. I like writing more than having written, even when it's torturous, because the satisfaction comes in doing it.

[l-e-morgan-author]

Writing Newsletter #3: May 2024

Still not figured out website hosting, so this is still on here. I also haven't edited the two stories I plan to provide as a signup gift, so that's not ready yet. Anyway, if you want to be on the taglist for this monthly newsletter, say the word and I'll add you.

Writing update

As of yesterday, I finished drafting Patience, Changing. I wrote Hannah's death and it was hard, but I think what I have, while not particularly good, is a building block for the next draft. It's been a lot of fun, and now I'm putting away the project as a whole, ideally for at least a month. I have a lot of fragments as well as the main draft and novellas; they'll need some tidying, and various bits will probably be worked into longer pieces, but I want to give myself a break from the whole project. Word count wise, the novel itself clocks in at 84k (was planned to be 81k), and the total word count is 144k, having added around 29k since last month.

I had originally intended to go back to Metamorphosis of a Girl (Hadassah's story) once I was done with this, but there's a whump challenge I want to write for and the only one that will satisfy that is Hands Made for Gentleness. I'm considering making that my main project, at least for now, and also starting to work on To Kindle a Flame in the background again. I had conversations the other day that made me reread a scene; I unexpectedly really liked what I had, and the writing wasn't as clunky as I'd expected. I'm considering scrapping the 2020 draft completely and working solely from the 2021 draft and the notes I've made since.

I have worked a little (to the tune of 3k) on Hands Made for Gentleness this month. Looking back at my statistics, I actually wrote the most I've written for it so far in February 2023, when I wrote just shy of 10k. I always think I've written more for it than I have, partly because of how important every single word is to it. I need to write more downtime between them, I think; it's always so intense, and while that's kind of necessary to the kind of book it is, it's in its present state not something I personally would sit down and read in one sitting. I think I need to dial the intensity back just a little, so that the moments that are intense can really hit the spot. That's probably a revising-me point, though. I'm missing so much from this draft that will need to be added in later drafts; indeed I'm starting to be slightly nervous about the idea of tackling it, because of the sheer number of notes I've left for myself already, and I'm only 33k into the draft (plus a few thousand of assorted other stuff, including the prequel I want to revise at some point.... it takes it up to a combined total of 41k).

Reading update

I've been reading a handful of memoirs this month. First I read A Grief Observed (reread, specifically for handling Hannah's death in Patience, Changing), then Bones: Anorexia, OCD and Me (first time read, and I won't be rereading it: I don't recommend it), Girl, Interrupted (not as good as its popularity would suggest to me), and As I Disappear... (a very short poetry thing). There were also a few that didn't get onto my goodreads because I gave up on reading them before I actually bought them (all ED focused). I'm currently reading the same books as I was reading last month (Cry of the Raven, The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe, and Walking on Water) as well as starting a reread of Pat of Silver Bush. Thinking of rereading Pride and Prejudice presently.

Ramble

Oh uh. I note that last time I wrote that my mental health has been comparatively amazing lately, which is... still true? Which is Impressive? I still need to work out motivation and that kind of thing which I'm not very good at still, but oh well. I guess I'm still as forgetful as I was. I realised recently I haven't been posting on my website all year. I need to do that more.

Drabble

As We Sail Into Hell

“I’ll go anywhere you go, so that makes us equal.”

“‘You are a gentleman, I am a gentleman’s daughter, so far we are equal,’” she misquoted cheerfully. “The fact that we’ll follow each other into—well, anywhere—doesn’t negate the fact that you have to choose where we’re walking right now.”

Nathan sighed. “I wanted you to make a decision,” he complained.

“I know. I shan’t. I know your tricks.”

“At this rate we’ll never get married because neither of us will ask the other.”

She grinned. “That’s your job. If you really want it.” But her expression was merry.

Photo

A collage from yesterday's walk. Ignore that I shared it on my main yesterday. The weird beastie in the bottom left is a wombat.

Fun fact

I title all my drabbles by either writing them off a song directly or by thinking of a lyric from a song. This one's from Durham Town, by Roger Whittaker.

[dankusner]

New book argues for removal of I-345 in Dallas

That highways don’t belong in cities may be news in Texas, but it is hardly a new idea.

Back in 1963, in his book The Highway and the City, the critic and historian Lewis Mumford wrote that “arteries must not be thrust into the delicate tissue of our cities; the blood they circulate must rather enter through an elaborate network of minor blood vessels and capillaries.”

Even Dwight D. Eisenhower, the president who signed the 1956 legislation that funded the postwar American highway boom, didn’t think those roads belonged in cities.

And yet, our cities are crossed and encircled by highways that divide neighborhoods, privilege driving over other means of transit and have been linked to other ill effects, from asthma to climate change. Downtown Dallas, for instance, is choked by a noose of urban highways.

The impacts of those roads — and what we can do about them — is the subject of a new book, City Limits: Infrastructure, Inequality, and the Future of America’s Highways, by Austin-based journalist Megan Kimble.

Over email, Kimble talked about the policies that led to this situation, the targeting of minority communities and the plans to tear down Interstate 345. The conversation has been edited for clarity.

Why a book about highways and the city now? Was there anything in particular that prompted you to write it?

In early 2020, the Texas Transportation Commission voted to fund a more than $4 billion project to expand I-35, a mile from where I live in Austin. I had been writing about housing policy for the Texas Observer, where I worked, and the highway seemed like a way into that larger story of car dependency and sprawl.

That summer, I learned about a massive highway expansion in Houston that would demolish more than a thousand homes and businesses.

I went to Houston and walked the footprint of the expansion with a grassroots group opposing it and was absolutely shocked by the scale of displacement.

I didn’t feel like any reporter had really dug into the agency behind all these expansions — the Texas Department of Transportation. And no one had satisfactorily answered a pretty basic question I had: If widening highways doesn’t fix traffic, why were we still widening highways?

And then I learned about Patrick Kennedy’s campaign to remove I-345 in Dallas, and that felt like a third act — the ultimate argument of the book, that we should tear down these urban highways and build something else in their place.

We’ll get to I-345. But let’s go back in history first. The idea that highways don’t belong in cities is hardly new, but somehow we keep building and expanding them. How did we get to this point?

Americans were sold the idea that highways — and automobiles — would create prosperity and freedom.

This idea was first articulated by General Motors in 1939, but it soon became enshrined in federal policy as we subsidized car travel over every other form of transportation.

It’s hard to imagine today, but there used to be pretty robust public transit in almost every American city.

We tore out that transit to build highways.

And so people had no other option but to drive.

President Eisenhower sold Congress on the interstate highway system by emphasizing the importance of connecting cities across the country for commerce and national defense.

But cars were flooding American cities, people clamored for congestion relief, and so planners took federal money and built massive highways directly through cities, often intentionally through Black and Hispanic neighborhoods.

Federal housing policy encouraged families — namely, white families — to move to the suburbs and promised speedy access back to the city on these highways.

The same dynamic is happening today.

As people get priced out of cities like Austin, they rely on highways like I-35 to get them back to work and school.

You spend a great deal of time writing about those displaced by highway building and the impact that construction had on minority communities. In what ways has race shaped the building of urban highways?

In the 1950s and 1960s, city planners and highway engineers intentionally routed urban highways through Black and Hispanic neighborhoods.

That’s very clear in the historical record, the idea that highways could help clear so-called blighted areas.

I found a study that showed that redlined neighborhoods — communities that had been denied access to credit and government-backed mortgages simply because Black and Hispanic people lived there — were more than three times as likely as the best-rated neighborhoods to have an interstate highway routed through them.

Highways not only displaced and demolished communities of color, they also helped segregate cities.

In Austin, for example, I-35 was built along East Avenue.

Two decades earlier, the city’s first comprehensive plan had prohibited Black people from living west of East Avenue.

The highway only cemented this segregation, creating a wall between a Black neighborhood and the heart of the city.

This brings us back to I-345, the dilapidated elevated highway that divides downtown Dallas from historically Black Deep Ellum.

Back in 2013, when I began writing about the plan to tear it down, I was told it was a fool’s errand.

Today, a teardown is a reality, though the city is planning something of a half measure — trenching it instead of removing it.

What would be the best outcome, and what do you say to those who believe removing it will lead to traffic Armageddon?

I think TxDOT’s “hybrid option” for I-345 — the trench you mentioned — is a clever bit of branding, implying that the state has somehow found a compromise between a highway and a highway removal.

But a trenched highway is still fundamentally a highway, and it offers none of the benefits of full removal, namely freeing up or otherwise enhancing dozens of acres of land to build on and restore to Dallas’ property tax rolls.

When TxDOT presented the full removal option to Dallas, it presented a vision of carmageddon — 19,000 hours of travel delay!

But those traffic models don’t account for how people’s travel behavior changes according to ease of access.

Anytime I get in the car, I look at Google maps to find the quickest route to where I’m going.

If that’s not on a highway, I won’t take a highway. People are rational consumers of goods, and roads are a good like any other.

In every city that has removed an urban highway or otherwise reduced car capacity, traffic volumes go down, even on parallel routes.

People simply drive less.

The corollary to induced demand — which says that as you add car capacity, cars fill up that capacity — is reduced demand. If Dallas wants to build a less car-centric city (and I think it’s an open question as to whether it does), then removing I-345 is the best place to begin.