#I wrote my thoughts last night and I didn't edit it at all to post it on here

[kbots]

happy valentine's day here's some queers in love at the aquarium

[lynaferns]

The Forest On The Other Side

Chapter 1: I want to go home.

Ver. [ENGLISH / SPANISH]

EDIT: This fic is now on AO3

A girl gets lost in the forest and finds a misterious gate in the middle of nowhere. At the other side she meets a... very peculiar individual who seems to only want to befriend her and play. Everything seems fine. Until night falls and someone else joins to play...

Again, I appreciate feedback about the english adaptation. English is not my first lenguage and I still mess up sometimes.

This is in some way a more "joyful" story than BIOMáquina, still with its dark themes. I wrote this a year ago. By this I mean I forced myself to get it written down and ended up hating it and burning myself out. A couple of weeks ago I decided to reread it and I though it was pretty ok actually, so I edited it a bit to make it flow better. It used to be written more as a script for the comic I wanted to draw buuuut that didn't happen (cough stressed myself out cough forced myself cough don't force yourself to make content out of a hobby, a hobby is supposed to be for your own fun). I'm not completely satisfied with the final draft but I think is good enough for my first ever fic written.

I originally planned to make it a Y/N thing but that didn't last long. But I keeped the original idea of the first person POV. The Y/N stories I've read has always some narrator telling you what you do insert you in the story. I thought of making the MC the narrator, this way the reader can insert themselves like it's their story or they can read it as if someone else is telling them a story. This is also a bit limiting, since the narration is also the MCs thought process and sometimes I may skip details MC couldn't have seen.

AU, Magical forest, DCA centered, Sun fnaf, Moon fnaf, Elves Sun & Moon, OC, Selfinsert, Character & OC, platonic, friendship, slowburn (kind of), Moon is agresive at first, Moon is also a bit of a gremlin, Protective Sun (I think), OC is a potty mouth, Female Main Character, First person, Angst.

The first post where I showed this AU and my first sketches ideas.

Tumblr archive with all of the art, ideas and anwsered asks.

Youtube Playlist which I'm pretty proud of how it turned out :] It's in a specific order but you can put it on mix.

Note: even though I try to keep things light some things may be triggering for some readers.

CW: Anxiety, Suicide ideation, Implied death, Choking, Non sexual abuse.

Wordcount: 9,700 (It's not rounded, that's literally the number Word tells me it's at lol)

Welp.

Here we are again, in the old village house (yey...). Well, 'I am', my family won't arrive to settle in for another week. They brought me here beforehand a few days ago for organizational reasons. They took a quick look inside before they left to see the state of the house, if it needed any repairs and such, and they headed back to the city. While they finish preparing everything, I take care of the house and text them messages about anything that may be needed for when they return.

We haven't been here in years, the house needs some repairs, and I'm sorry for the spiders, but it could use a deep cleaning. We can't do a deep cleaning but I have been cleaning what I can these last few days, at least so that it looks decent... at first glance.

Well, it's not like anyone is coming to visit.

It's a quiet town, until the kids from the town next door come to make a racket with their bikes. They play in our field, scare away the cats and throw cans around. They are assholes.

Anyways, the people in the village are nice. The adults I mean, the kids I used to play with, I don't get along with them anymore. Some of them aren't kids anymore, we have grown up and are going down different paths. But those who are still kids... they're still interested in the only older kid in the town who listened to them and let them do whatever they wanted, to a certain extent.

I don't want them to come looking for me to go out and play. I've been avoiding them by saying that I'm busy cleaning the house and getting it ready for when my family arrives, but I feel like interacting with them less and less. That's why I'm going out to the woods behind the house to get lost for a while, as always. The kids don't go near the forest so they won't bother me there.

There is an area for tourism and hiking but not many people come, some police cars border the forest from time to time but they never go inside. The reports of missing people in this forest have been coming in for decades, only some lost children have returned but there is no trace of any of the adults who disappeared along with the rest of the children. The areas marked with signs are safe but you can't go out of bounds unless you want to disappear with those people.

And I, who right now am alone and with no one to notice my absence if I go missing, am going to head straight to the forest. Don't you think, I don't want to disappear, I just don't like people and I usually go into the forest but I don't go too far away. As long as I see my house in the distance, I know how to return.

I grab my bag with my sketchbook and pencil case, in case I feel like drawing (probably won't) and step out to the back porch. The outer sliding metal door that protects the inner one is rusty and difficult to open. It would be better to oil it but I don't know when it will be done, considering that the broken railing has had a wooden board tied to it for years. I already sent my mother a message talking about it.

I enter the forest and start walking around. It's hot, of course, it's early summer, but it's quite noticeable after being in the cool inside the brick and stone house. That's the good thing about coming here in summer, the houses are made to stay cold inside and it's great, sometimes I even need to wear a jacket. But outside I'm dying, the trees don't provide enough shade. In fact, some trees are missing. I used to have my routes memorized but time has passed and some paths have changed, some have disappeared and others have formed. I admit that it makes me a little sad... I began to walk absorbed in my thoughts not paying attention to where I was going.

I'm walking away, I should go back. I'm not going to draw anything here anyway, and it's hotter outside than inside so I'm gonna to turn around-

I hear screams and laughter in the distance, the sound of the voices produces me an immediate disgust. It's those kids from the next door village. They must have come to 'investigate' about the disappearances or maybe they don't care and they just came to be idiots-

They're getting closer.

I don't want them to see me. God. Don't let them see me. Anyone but them. They're getting closser. Don't let them see me. I can't go back home now. They're cutting me off. Of all the people who could have found me. It had to be them. No, please. Don't let them see me. I have to go further into the forest, I can't let them see me. They're getting closer. Don't let them see me. I want to leave. I want to leave. I'm getting too far. I want to leave. I don't see my house. I want to leave. I don't see the village. I want to leave. I don't see the kids.

...

...

...

Where am I?

Fuck.

Where am I?

I want to leave.

I want to leave.

I want to leave.

I want to leave.

…

—

Now I'm wandering through the forest. I don't want to go back. I want to get out of here. Even though I'm walking in a straight line I feel like I'm going around in circles, and I'm not going to get out of here now. Great. I'm lost. Now what? People who get lost in this forest don't return, no one has returned except for some children.

...

I'm going to disappear.

...

For now I keep walking until something happens. Maybe there's an animal that kills people who get lost, or maybe it's a group of kidnappers, or maybe I should stop giving myself anxiety and focus on getting out of here. Maybe if I find a field or road, or even the tourist area, I'll be able to get out of here and return bordering the fores-

...

There is... colorful graffitis on the trees. Someone has painted eyes, hands, stars and more on the bark of the trees...

What's this?

I don't know where I've come to, I didn't know this was here, in the middle of nowhere in the forest. The trees have red leaves like in autumn even though summer has just started... The first thing I thought was 'climate change's fault' but there is something that stands out in the middle of this entire flat area and it is disturbing me.

In the center there is a kind of circular gate made of stones supported by roots.

Okay, maybe it doesn't sound aaaaas disturbing as, I don't know, a totem with a human figure being impaled or something, but it's giving me a bad vibe. What is this place? Who built a stone arch in the middle of everything and why?

A bird appears flying from behind me and goes through the gate, but nothing comes out on the other side... wait what? how? The bird has crossed the gate, and disappeared behind the stone arch? ...I had to imagine it, it's not possible that that happened. I approach the arch but not before picking up a rock from the ground and throwing it to the other side of the gate.

It's still there.

…

For some reason the thought of going through the gate makes me uncomfortable, so I go around it.

...

...And the rock? It's not there.

I go back and look from inside the portal.

The rock is there.

...

I look from outside. The rock is not there. I repeat this multiple times. Rock. No rock. Rock. No rock. Rock. No rock... What?

Alright, this is weird, this is VERY weird.

Even though it is clear that this isn't normal, I have to go back, pick up a fallen branch from the ground and pass it through the portal. This time I don't throw it, I've grabbed a branch long enough to see it peek out from the other side of the arch.

...

Welp.

I should be seeing not only the branch, but also my hand sticking out of the side, but I'M NOT SEEING IT. OKAY. OK. ALRIGHT. IT'S CONFIRMED. THIS IS WEIRD.

I'm asleep, right? Or unconscious. I must have passed out from exhaustion from endlessly wandering through the woods and I'm delirious or something. No, wait, it can't be, in my dreams I'm not this aware of what's around me. Where am I?

A breeze begins to pass through the gate. It's getting stronger but not enough to push me. The leaves rise from the ground and float towards the portal, none slipping outside, all entering through the stone arch. Suddenly the breeze that had become wind stops. The leaves fall to the ground.

...

I look back for a moment, as if there was something behind me that could help me make a decision. Grabbing with both hands my bag strap I look back at the portal again. Okay. Alright. This is possibly the death of me. I'm going to cross. I'm going to go to the other side. I'm just one step away from crossing. I wrinkle my face and narrow my eyes before taking the last step.

...

Nothing has happened. Everything seems the same. However, I know it's not the same... Or at least it doesn't feel the same!

Well, I've already crossed. I'm gonna... keep walking, I guess, even though this is scaring me and I don't know if I'll know how to go back. For now I'm moving forward. The red leaves have disappeared several meters ago. It's starting to look like a normal forest, except for the multicolored drawings and handprints that I keep seeing on the trees. In fact, it seems like the trees are taller with every step I take. So high that I can barely see the top. I almost tripped while looking up. Whether this is the same forest I come from, I no longer know.

This was a bad idea. I just hope to find something that'll help me know where I am, a sign or the road if possible.

*cling*

...?

I hit something with my foot. There is a ball attached to a small chain on the ground. Oh, no, wait. *cling diring ding* It's a rusty bell, I think. It doesn't have the typical cross-shaped hole or slot, rather it has several holes in a pattern. It looks like it can be opened.

There's nothing inside.

?

There's nothing? But I could have sworn it had rang. I close it again and shake it.

*...*

Nothing.

I'm going to put it in the bag, it's totally a good idea. I'll think about it later, for now I'm moving on.

—

I've been walking for a while now and throughout this time I had a constant chill on the back of my neck, as if someone had their eyes on me.

*din dirring* I hear a soft tinkling in the distance.

Okay, I'm not alone, awesome, what do I do now? Do I say hi and risk the potential danger finding me? Do I ignore the sound of bells and keep moving? It's very possible that whatever made that sound is watching me right now...

“Hello?” Still nervous, I try to say hello looking around “...” “Is someone there? H-hello?”

“-HEEEEELLO!”

“AAAAAH-!” I cover my mouth with my hands as I turn to look at what the hell has greeted me back. I take a few steps back while I look at the figure of earthy and sunny tones who responded, he seems as surprised as I am, I think (with the scream I made, normal), at least it looks like he's surprised. He wears a two toned wooden mask... it looks like a sun, with a crescent moon on its right... It gives the impression of two faces merged into one... Damn, he is tall, he's almost doubles my size. He appears to have two skin tones dividing him in half, his right side being the lighter and the left darker, especially the arm, which also has a light-colored tattoo of lines representing a sun symbol that covers from the shoulder to the pectoral and to the middle of the bicep. The right arm is covered by a long fingerless glove that reaches to the shoulder and is tied around the chest. He's wearing baggy pants with leaves coming out of the waist and legs, some... cloth boots? with a long toe bending sharply and curving in a geometric swirl with a bell at the tips, a bag hangs from the waistband of his pants and falls below his hips. His chest and neck are tied by ropes decorated with hanging stones, metals and crystals, he wears a pendant that ends in a carved symbol of a crescent moon with rays. Some of the 'sunrays' on his mask have ropes tied between them holding them in place and some metal dangling. Some red ribbons along with bells hang from his wrists.

“um... Helloooooo.” He greets again, this time he lowers his tone of voice. I manage to react, I turn around and walk away. “¡ah- eh- Wait!” Nope, I'm not going to wait and see what he does with me, I'm leaving. “He-! Hey!” Nope. I quicken my pace and try to get lost among the trees, changing direction every time he appears in my vision angle. “Human? Human-! FRIEND. Can I call you friend?!” Nope, nope, nopnop, nop, nop, nope. “Friend! Hey!” God, no, god, god, no, why are you following me? “Look, I know what you're trying to look for...! And believe me, you're not going to find it~!” How are you still following me? Where do you come from? “Hey! Listen! Why don't we do something else besides running in circles!?” Noooooooooo... “There are TONS of other activities we could do! Like... HOLY MOLY, look at this stick! Do you like sticks!?” Leave me aloneee... “You aren't looking at it! Okay, alright, you don't like sticks, erm... what might be of interest to you...” If I don't look at it it doesn't exist. “Could you help me a little here?” I want to leave... “Look, no matter how much you wander around, you won't find the portal-!”

“STOP—! STOP FOLLOWING ME! LEAVE ME ALONE!” The sudden scream startles him again, making him jump in place. He stands completely still looking at me. I'm leaving before he gets angry.

“B-but I- ...okay.” I thought I heard him say before I left him behind.

It seems that this time he's not following me, finally... Although I'm not calm, he could still be following me and simply not be in sight. Anyway, I think I'm coming back? I hope I am. I want to find that portal as soon as possible and go back to the house- what the fu-? “WHY?”

He's there. Right where I left him. Sitting on a rock. Waiting. “...! I haven't moved from the spot!”

“Yeah- but- WHY?”

“Because I knew you were going to come back here!”

“...What?”

“Is what I was trying to tell you! You can't leave! No matter how hard you try to find the portal, it won't appear before you!” The Sunman exclaimed.

“…” I'm just about to turn around. In fact, I'm already turning around.

“N-No, wait! Please don't go!” I stop in my track and look back at him. He gets off the rock he was sitting on but remains squatting, almost at my height, a little below. I move back, keeping my distance. He puts his hands up. “Look, I'm not doing anything! I won't chase you! Just- ...don't go.”

“…”

“L-look, listen, there's no way it's going to show up! Well, not to you at least. But even if you find it back, it won't work! It only works when it wants to work.”

“...” Let's imagine that I trust what he says “Ok... and when does it want to be working?”

“...” “No idea!”

“...”

“...”

I'm about to collapse on the spot. At least he doesn't seem hostile, for now. “...” “Okay... Good... Great...” “...” “FanTAS-tic.”

“...” “You don't seem like it.”

*ಠ_ಠ* I could only look to the side in frustration in response to that. I looked back at him with concern showing on my face and grabbing the strap of my bag with both hands. “And... what... do you plan to do with me?”

He took his hand to the chin of his mask and with the other he held his elbow in a comical thoughtful pose. “MmmmnnDUN know! What do you plan to do?” He asked so nonchalantly. He ended up sitting on the ground crossing his legs. “You have a good while until the portal opens again...!”

“...”

“...”

“...”

He started swaying. The silence has become uncomfortable for a while now, but I can't organize myself on what to say, and I don't know if I trust him. I don't even know if he's human, although something tells me he's not.

“You could wait here.” He suggested, breaking me out of my thoughts. “Or anywhere else, if you want. I would recommend somewhere high like the treetops (for no particular reason)! If you're going to wait... But wouldn't that be really boring?” There was something in his tone of voice... “Being there... at the top of a tree... waiting... alone... with no friends to hang out with (can I call you a friend?). Aaall on your own until the portal opens again.” He looks aside for a moment “...” And back at me again. “With no one to be with you.” He repeats the head motion “...” “alone...” Wow... I wonder what he's implying, ahem. “Wouldn't you want to have someone...? ...Someone...keeping you company?” Yeah, yeah...

“...” I guess... “I-I guess I wouldn't want to be alon-?”

He rises to his knees. “That's what I thought! Do you want me to accompany you? Only if you want! But can I?” He clasped his hands together as if asking a favor.

“um...”

“Can I?Can I?Can I?Can I?Can I?Can I?Can I?” He approaches, dragging his knees on the ground.

I'm starting to miss personal space. “Okay! Okay, alright...”

“REALLY?” He started hopping and jumping around me. “OH, ohoho hO! Great! Oh, there are TONS of things we could do! Like... Like...!” He moves faster, doing bigger and bigger flips and jumps, it almost seems that he is very light, as if the breeze of air lifted him. “We could paint and decorate trees! Or we can also paint on rocks! Or paint leaves! Or paint us! Oh! We can tell stories! I'm very good at making shadows and puppets.” He moves from place to place with each sentence he says. “We can also play something!” It's moving so fast all I can see is the wind and the leaves it stirs up as it moves. “Anything! Whatever you want!” Finally he stopped in front of me half crouched. “What do ya say?! Hmm! Friend!?”

“Don't... call me like that.” Makes me feel awkward.

“Oh...why not-? Oh true, true! How silly, I don't know your name! What do you call yourself, potential friend?”

“...”

“...” “Aren't... you gonna tell me your name?”

I twist the bag strap “Depends...” I must say I'm a little skeptical about this. “Are there any consequences for telling you my name?”

“...Consequences...?”

“Like... I don't know... Mmm-by telling you my name I become your possession and cannot regain my freedom until... certain conditions are met...”

“...”

“...”

“Why- how-? Where did you get that from!?” It did sound a bit stupid when I said it out loud.

“I dunno- that's what they say in old children's stories about elves and fairies!” I just hope the embarrassment isn't showing on my face.

“Really?” I could feel his deadpan expression behind the mask.

I shrugged.

“...” “Okay... Oh, what if I tell you my name first? Will you tell me yours? It's only fair, I'm Sun!”

“...”

“Can I know your name now?” He asked expectantly.

“...How do I know you're not trying to trick me?”

“...” I must be driving him crazy with this “The only thing I can do with your name is treasure it in my memory.” He put his hands together as if he was carefully holding something and brought them to the forehead of the mask. I gave him a distrustful look. It doesn't seem like it made him desist “Please?”

I grip at my worn out bag strap “...” “ Fern...” I ended up murmuring.

“Hmm? Fern? OH, I like it!” “Sounds like FRIEND.” He emphasized the last word by making a gesture like jazz hands, leaning to the side and moving his head closer to me.

“Yeah... I think you are missing a couple of letters.”

He straightened his posture again. “Nope, I don't think so!”

“You're still not my friend.”

“Oooowwwwwnnnnnggghhh” He lowers his head dramatically until it practically touches the ground “nnnnnnngggghh, alright!” And cartwheels to stand up again “So... what will it be?”

“Hm?”

He straightened his posture and puts his arms on his hips “We have plenty of time, ya? What do you wanna to do?”

“I don't know, what do you want to do-?” Bad mistake.

“Come with me!”

“aaAAAAA-!” Before I knew it, he had grabbed my arm and I was being dragged through the woods. We visited several places and he offered me an activity to do in each of them.

—

Sun took me to a place where the trees were full of colorful paint “We practice painting on the trees here!” He said.

“Ah.” That explains the crossed out lines and the repeated imperfect shapes. By the look of it is also where he tests the quality of the paint.

“Do you want us to paint something!?”

“Not really...”

“Oh, would you prefer it to be on a rock?”

“Nah.”

“...And in star leaves-?”

“I don't want to paint, Sun.”

“Oh... Well, I can show you more places!”

“OkayyEEEEEE-” And I'm being dragged away again.

—

He brought me to another area of the forest, the ground here seemed more leveled. Not a single tree was straight, all of them were twisted and even seemed to be hollow. “How about playing something!? Like hide and seek-! No, wait, I can’t let you out of my sight.” He mumbled at the end “And chase?! We can climb a tree and see who reaches the top first! We have a place full of vines and it's perfect for swinging- and jumping from one tree to another-!”

“I don't... really want to move a lot…” With the way he runs without getting tired and me, who doesn't exercise... he would let me dead.

“Oh... well, theeen-”

—

We arrived at a place full of vegetation and humidity. Sun seemed quite excited... “This place is full of insects! We can look for cool bugs!”

“Mmmmmnoooo... I don't want to.” I had to tell him, trying to show as little disinterest as I could.

“You don't like them?” He sounded a little disappointed hearing my reaction.

“No, I do like them, some of them, but I don't like to touch them.” And I'm terrified of them flying into my face.

“Oh, well, it's okay!” He said brushing it off and we moved on to the next stop.

—

“I know that bird!” He stopped us on the way to point at a robin high up on a branch.

“ah.” I said as I removed leaves from my hair and clothes, and checked that I still had my glasses.

“He's a little rascal!”

“...” I think the bird is making us the equivalent of 'mooning'.

—

“Look fish-! Oh, they're gone…” The noise must have scared them away “We can go find more places to look at them if you want!”

“...” “...no, pass...”

“…”

—

“Look at this stick!” Sun had suddenly sprinted past me, picked up something from the ground, and came back just as fast, showing me the stick as if it were a sword.

“oh.” It's a cool stick, must admit it.

“Do you want to look for more sticks!?”

“No...”

“oh...” He looked at the ground in disappointment.

“Why would we go looking for sticks? There are all over the ground.” Specifically, in this area the ground was all sticks. We are literally just stepping on sticks right now. I don't see the ground.

“Variety!” Sun said pointing at the ground with both hands. A branch is heard falling in the distance.

—

“That's a deer!” He pointed at the deer passing nearby. The deer stopped to look at us.

“Yeah, I see.”

“We call 'em Adoquín!”

“...Why is it called Adoquí-?”

*THUMP!*

“…”

The deer smacked itself against a tree when trying to run away. It stands still for a minute, processing the hit, looks at a side and then the other, then runs off again but this time avoiding the tree.

Another *thump!* is heard in the distance.

“...” Alright.

—

“Do you wannaaaa look for pine cones? There will be some fallen around here. Oh! We can also look for mushrooms!”

I keep saying no to everything he suggests and it doesn't look like he's going to run out of ideas to pass the time. In fact, he's very insistent that we do something. I guess at some point I'll have to say yes to something. “...” “...okay...”

“Hmm?! Okay? Okay to what?” His exaggerated surprise offends me but I don't blame him.

“To... I don't know, pine cones?”

“...You don't look very convinced.”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“OKAY! On the hunt for pine cones then!” I startle a little at the sudden shout. He makes a pose pointing in a direction, as if he were leading an expedition.

He takes me through the forest looking for pine cones. We aren't finding many, especially me who's not paying any interest. He tries encouraging me to put more effort into it but I keep looking at my boots.

We passed near a shingle river. I find a pebble at my feet and bend down to pick it up and take a better look. It's like a bluish gray, it has some reddish lines in the shape of waves, it feels good to the touch.

I hear the soft tinkling of a bell and feel a shadow fall beside me. “You like pebbles?” Sun is crouched next to me with his arms full of pine cones.

“…” I nod.

We go down to the river and spend some time collecting pebbles with curious shapes or small details of colors, lines, spots, etc. He comes over to show me one every time he finds weird shapes.

“…”

*rin* This time he's hunched over resting his hands on his knees. “You look… a little down.”

“…”

“Hey... we can do something else if you're tired of the pebbles.”

“...” I drop the pebbles I was looking at on the ground.

“...” He turns his gaze from me to the sky. It hasn't gotten late enough to be getting dark, but it's been a while between the walks we've taken (dragging me from here to there), looking for pine cones and then pebbles in the river. He looks back at me. “Oh, I know! Can I take you to one last place? A better place than the ones I've shown you!”

“…” I got up from the ground and waited for him to start leading to follow him.

We enter the increasingly thick forest. The trees are taller and bigger, in fact, I start to see platforms and bridges lying between the trees, I even see small shanties in them.

“Wait here!” He takes a run and jumps onto one of the trees with bridges. He takes three steps running up the tree, with a jump he pushes himself off and climbs with agility until he reaches the platform and climbs on it. “Just a moment!” It can't be seen from here but I can faintly hear some squeaks. I have no idea of what he's doin-

*rush*

“........eh?”

A rope.

A rope has fallen. At the level of my head.

“.......”

What?

…

He said he knew a better place.

No. It can't be this.

“Is it at a good height?! Can you reach it?!” He says...

It can't be.

A better place.

He can't be referring to this.

A better place.

A better place. A better place. A better place. A better place.

“Can you put your foot in?!”

“..........” For some reason what he said throws me off. “WAT-?”

“Can you put your foot in the loop and hold on to the rope so I can pull you up!?”

“..............”

“You can't climb trees, can you?! ...or you can?"

… “...” Oh “....It's...It's too high!”

“Okay!” Squeaks are heard and the rope descends to the ground.

I put my foot into the rope as he told me and hold on to it. “O-okay...!”

“Are you ready!?”

“Yes!”

“Okay!”

He begins to pull up the rope (which doesn't tighten around my foot as it supports my weight) and helps me up to the platform. (That's what it was for, obviously, what else would he want? I'm such an...) “Come on!” He says cheerfully, as always, and takes me over the bridges. “You seem tense... Don't tell me you're afraid of heights!”

“S-something like that... it's nothing.” He tilts his head at that but he says nothing. I have an unpleasant sensation in my throat.

We arrived at a high place with a view of waterfalls, I can't see above the trees. We sat on one of the bridges, resting our arms on the rope that serves as a railing and letting our legs hang off the bridge. I've thought about taking out the sketchbook to draw... but I don't really feel like it right now, so I just quietly observe the landscape. It is a better place, yeah.

…

I feel watched. I turn to look at him ...Of course he was looking at me. I don't even know whether to say something or keep quiet. ...I decide... not to say anything and look to the front.

“You... aren't very talkative, huh.”

“…”

“Not that it's a bad thing! Many people who have come here weren't very talkative at first either.” More people...

“...” “I have… nothing to talk about.” I don't want to talk.

“...” “Well, I do.”

“…”

“If it's okay with you, of course.” He laughed. Although something tells me that he is going to talk anyway.

“…”

“...” “What brings you to the forest?”

“...” Really? “I got lost.”

“Yeah, I already know!” He says between laughs “But what made you get lost?”

“...” “There was a group of kids I didn't want to get close to and I decided to go into the woods to lose them.” He makes a 'hum' sound and looks at me expectantly waiting for me to continue “And... I ended up getting myself lost...”

“...” “Only that?”

“...” “Well, yeah.” What do you mean 'oNlY tHaT'?

“...Mmm...” He places his hand on the chin of the mask.

“...” “What?”

“Nothing!” “...” “You know? You're the first human to visit the forest in a loooong time. For several cycles now…”

“Cycles?”

“Mhm” He nods.

“...What are cycles?”

Sun points to the sky “The turns that the Moon makes in the sky!” He emphasizes by rotating his arm in the air. It's pointing right at the Moon that's visible in the sky.

“Oh...” He uses the lunar cycles to know what day he's in, makes sense. “...” “So no one has been here in a while.”

“That's what I said! Well no, but yes!”

“A-and so the humans who came are still here? Have they been here all this time?”

“Yeah...! Well, no!” He paused. “They're gone!”

“What do you mean they're-?” He didn't let me finish the question.

“They are gone! They 'left'!” It sounded like he had given this answer many times already.

“What do you mean they left-?”

“They 'left'!”

“...” “...You mean...they disappear-?”

“Nope!” “...” “Something like that!” “…” “Mmmore or less…” He hesitated between one answer and another.

It seemed worthless to ask about the missing people. “...okay.” “Can I ask you-?”

“You can ask me anything!” A hint of nervousness escaped his tone.

“...okay. What is this forest?”

“My home! And the home of many other animals.”

“...” “Alright, and... how many are you...? How many of you live here? I mean. You have taken me everywhere and we haven't seen anyone of your…” I make a pointing gesture, spinning my hand around in the air. He can't be human, it doesn't look like he is. “...” “Honestly, I don't know what you are.”

“...” “There's only me... And someone else!” He looks away, as if trying to hide something.

“Oh... and who's that someone?”

“Oh! N-no, don't worry! He’s… just a friend… But it’s not important that you meet him or anything!” He brushes it off making a gesture with his hand. “Uh-um- How about we talk about you!? huh? What things do you like? Earlier, since you said no to everything, I thought you didn't like ANYTHING!” He continued talking without letting me respond. “I didn't know what to do if I ran out of ideas. I started to worry! But at least you're not one of those who spend all day shouting and threatening with a weapon in hand, ahaha...” He let out a nervous laugh.

“Um-”

“Well, you ran away screaming, yes.” He began to gesticulate widely as he complained “Like everyone-! No, not like everyone, some don't run, but those who, apart from running and screaming, attack you...! I mean...!” Something tells me he wasn't going to shut up and I was already half listening. “First they throw rocks at my head, then they insult me and run away. And I have to run after them because I can't just leave a human running around alone! No! I can't! Not in this forest! Anything could happen to them! But they never let me warn them!” He sounded tired. “And when I get them to stop running away from me, they throw things at me again and yell before demanding me to tell them where are they and how to get out of here, and when I explain it, they yell at me even more and accuse me of lying!” He turns to look at me with his hands pointing to his chest. “What reason would I have to lie?!” I don't know if he hasn't noticed or if he's ignoring the deapan I responded with. “UGH! I don't know what to do with those! But anyhow... I'm so glad we found something to do in the end!

“eh?” I snap out of my thoughts. It seems that now he is directing the conversation to me.

“The pebbles!” He sits turning his body towards me, leaving one single leg hanging from the bridge and the other resting on it. He takes out of his pocket some of the pebbles that he had been collecting with me. “I don't know why I assumed you wouldn't want to look for rocks. Maybe because you didn't want to paint them before... You left them back in the river in the end tho, I thought you would keep some.”

“Ah... I don't know. I didn't think I could take them with me.”

“You can keep some of mine!”

“No, it's okay.”

“You sure?”

“Yes.”

“You suuuuure??” He insist.

“Yeees.”

He puts a pebble very close to my face “Suuuuuuuure?” Each 'u' sounding higher than the last.

“...” I push the pebble away from my face “Yeeeees.”

“mmmh... Okay! But I hope you don't regret it later when you don't have a cool rock like these and think 'Oh man, I could have a cool rock right now!'.” After a bad impression of me, he keeps the rocks in his pants. “So... Besides pebbles, what else do you like? Mm? I haven't been able to deduce much from today.”

“Don't know.”

“What do you mean you don't know!? Oh! Is it a secret?” He approaches and starts to whisper, putting his hands to the mask's mouth “I won't tell anyone, promise.”

“No. I don't know.” I looked to the side. “I can't think of anything... so suddenly.”

“ooow...” He slumps a little over the railing, looking sad.

“…” I hesitate whether to say something or not “...Drawing...”

“Mmm?!” He no longer seems sad.

“And listening to music, I guess.” “It's... all I do... most of the time.”

“Really!? Oh! I also like drawing! And music! But is that really all you do all day? Don't you do other kinds of things? Like reading! Or writting. Don't you go out for a walk or play with your friends?” I wrinkle my face at that last bit and he tilts his head in confusion.

“I don't go out.” “I have comics, but I rarely read.”

“Comics?”

“Um... They are stories but instead of narrating what happens there are drawings and only what the characters say is written.”

“...It's a book with drawings?”

“Yeah, but with a lot of drawings on each page, from start to finish.”

“WOAH.” He sounded perplexed. “That's drawing A LOT.”

“Yeah, it is.”

“Ahh, I'd love to see what they look like.” He rested his arm on the railing to hold his head in his hand “Too bad I can't…”

“I didn't bring them anyway.”

“Do you normally carry them around?”

“No, it's just that I didn't bring them to the village with me, I left them at home.”

“...” “Oh!” It seems that something has clicked on him. “You are not from the village.”

“No, I'm from a more urban area. My family used to come to the village every year in the summer, but we stopped coming. Now it seems that we are trying to get back into the habit.” I sighed.

“Why did you stop coming?”

“...That's personal.”

“Oh... okay.” He let a minute of awkward silence pass. “Hey, I can bring some books that I have at home! I think you might be interes-!” He looks away from me to the sunset behind us, the sun is almost gone. “-ted...” I look at the sunset too and then at him with confusion. “...” “...oh...oh-OH, Oh-no!” He stands up abruptly causing the bridge to shake slightly. What could have he seen? “We have to move!” He extends a hand to help me up. “We have to start moving!”

I get up in a hurry on my own, ignoring his hand. “O-okay, to where?”

“Come, run!” Once again he grabs me by the arm and leads me over the bridges between the trees until we reach a tree hut. It's small and dark, it looks like a small shelter. He opens the door and enters “You'll spend the night here, stay inside, do not go out, try to hide well and don't open the windows or doors, okay? Here, there are some blankets. I'll come back later.”

“Wait wait wait! What? What do you mean you'll come back later? What's happening? Why do I have to hide-!?”

“Sssh-ssh-sh” He grabs me and covers my hand with his, his left hand resting on the back of my right hand. He begins to speak in a calmer tone, with a voice that I had not heard him use until now. “It's okay, nothing happens. I have to go, I'll come back, but I can't stay now. You hide, try to rest, I'll be back, I promise.”

“...” I take my hand away from his. “Okay.” “I'll stay, but don't take too long.” Please, I don't want to be here alone.

“Yes. I'll be back.” He affirmed one last time. I watch him run away and disappear among the trees and undergrowth. I enter the small shelter to inspect it.

*TAP TAP TAP* *PLOK* *TAP TAP FOOSSSH! *

…? A noise comes from behind me. I turn around and there's a pebble on the floor.

…

Okay.

I take out my phones flashlight to see better inside the house. There are what appear to be some trunks, small cabinets, and a trapdoor in the floor, It seems that there are corners and blind spots for the windows where the little moonlight that enters through the cracks cannot reach. It's freezing cold and I haven't brought my jacket. I leave the bag on the floor against the wall, I cover myself with the blanket and curl up in a ball in the most hidden corner I can find. I'm tired, I want to sleep, but I can't close my eyes.

…

—

It's been a few hours now.

…

I can't sleep, I simply can't.

…

It doesn't look like he's coming back.

*creek*

…?

*rin*

*tap tap, creek*

Sun?

“S-...” I pause before saying a word, I have the feeling I shouldn't speak. I remain silent and wait.

*tap, tap, tap, creeeeeek, tap*

*rin dirrin*

If it were Sun he would have already let me know it is him. That or he's playing a prank on me which isn't funny, but I'd better stay silent. From the shadow I look at the windows. I notice movement through the cracks, something has just passed through the wall next to me.

*dirriring dirring*

I cover myself more with the blanket, back against the wall, I stay as still as I can, I leave a gap between the blankets and the floor to see. A red glow sneaks through the cracks in the window and scans the room.

…

The glow is gone.

*tap, tap, rin, tap, dirring, tap, tap*

It's on the roof.

…

*tap, tap, tap...*

It moves again.

*rin *

…

It sounded on the other side of the wall.

…

…

“nghehe...”

It laughed. Why did it laugh? Whatever is on the other side of the wall just let out a laugh that made the hairs on the back of my neck and all over my back rise.

…

Oh no.

Oh no no no no no no no no.

I have to move. I have to get out of here. I can't stay here.

*creeek*

It came from the door. It's trying to get in.

*rin*

The trapdoor.

*rin dirring*

Where was the trapdoor?

*creek creeeek*

I crawl across the floor making the minimum noise, carefully feeling the floor, looking for the edge of the door.

*tap tap ring dirring*

…!

I found it. I open it carefully. It's too high. I'm at a very high altitude, I don't know if I'll be able to go down.

*rin, creeek...*

…

Fuck it. I slip through the gap quietly, closing it slowly, but that doesn't stop the door from creaking. I cling to the bark of the tree-

…

I left my bag. If it comes in and see it it'll know for sure that I have been there-

…

It doesn't matter now. I have to focus on getting down from the tree without killing myself. My fingers hurt and I can't put my foot down properly because of the soles of my boots. I feel like I'm going to slip at any moment. Somehow I make it to the ground. Still attached to the tree, I look up at the house. I don't see it-

…

A shadow appears from behind the tree. I press myself against the tree and hold my breath. It's looking for something. When he doesn't seem to look I move to a nearby tree, he moves to another tree, I move to the next, and the next, and the next. We continue like this until I start to get further and further away from him. When I think I've lost him I start running. I hide behind a tree to catch my breath.

…

I slowly peek out from behind the tree.

*rin*

…

It sounded above me.

…

I don't look up, I run.

“nnghehee...” He laughs.

He gives me a few seconds advantage before coming after me. The chase begins.

I run forward as much as I can, I hear his footsteps behind me but I don't look back, there's no time for that. I hear him laughing like a madman as he moves from left to right, from one tree to another, crawling on the ground, trying to confuse me, waiting for me to make the slightest mistake to catch me.

“Ah-” I trip. As soon as I fall to the ground I get up, ripping my stockings and scraping my knees, falling again, my nerves not letting me stand up.

“Nnhehehhehe...” Asshole. He has stopped running, he approaches by walking. I try to keep as much distance as my hands and legs allow me to move. I search desperately with my hand for something on the ground to throw. Finally my hand finds something.

I throw a rock at him “AGH!”

The rock passes by him, flying one or two meters away from him. He hasn't even moved, he didn't move a single muscle to avoid it, he just watches me still from where he is. I hear the nearby *pof* of the rock falling to the ground.

“...”

“...”

…

I get up and run. He grabs my leg and I fall to the ground again. He won't let me get up, every time I try he throws me to the ground. I struggle, I kick, but I don't break free from his grip. He never stops laughing, he is enjoying this. He drags me closer to him, no matter how much I twists, he doesn't let go. “ACKH-!...Hhhh-hh...-hh-h...” He grabs me by the neck, red pupils stared at me, I'm looking straight into his crescent moon mask (or waning, I don't know. Do you think I care right now?). He raises his free hand and his veins begin to glow a platinum color that extends to his fingertips. The hand approaches my face, I don't know what it's going to do to me, I'm scared, I don't want to look. I close my eyes, cover my face with my hands. I wait.

…

…

…?

Nothing's happening. It stopped. Why?

“Mun, nïe.” I hear Sun's voice. I open my hands a little to see what's going on. Indeed, it is Sun, several meters away from us... He looks exhausted. The one with the moon mask stares at him for a moment, until he decides to look at me again while bringing his glowing veiny hand closer. “¡Mun!” The Moonman looks at Sun again “Fehreh.” He seems to speak another language, I don't understand what he says.

“...” “Nïe” For the first time I hear him say something else besides laughing. Even though I can't understand him.

“Fïer pehgïer.” Sun responds.

“...” Moonman remains silent again.

“Bïelïe óubseh góuh...” Sun continues.

“Móu txehb móunsuvïe.” The Moon responds.

“Lïe bóu ¿Sóundïe mïesugïeb fehreh nïe txehtehrlïe?”

…

The air feels tense. Probably because of the hand grabbing my neck.

“¿Zkaóu fuóunbehb txehtóur tkaehnvïe nïe bóueh mehb zkaóu ïesreh rehuh óunsóurrehveh óun leh suóurreh?” Longest sentence I've heard him say so far.

“...” “Fïer óubseh góuh.” “...” “Vóuyehmóu óuntehrdehrmóu vóu óulleh” Sun takes a step forward “Nïe suóunóu fïer zkaóu ehtehkehr ehbu” Another step forward “Nïe sóunóumïeb fïer zkaóu txehtóurlóub... óubsïe” Another step “Óullïeb bïelïe óubsehn... fóurvuvïeb.”

“...” There's no response from the moon man.

“Behkehb tïemïe óub óubïe.”

“...”

…

The hand that grabbed my neck now grabs my shirt and yanks it. I grab his wrist as he pulls me to my feet and drags me to Sun, making me stumble. He throws me against him. Sun catches me before I fall over.

“Ska óubpkaóurhïe óub óun gehnïe.” The moon says something as he walks past. Sun puts a hand on his shoulder before letting him go, there's a pause between the two. The Moonman disappears into the trees. Wind and leaves are heard passing by.

…

He's gone. I feel dizzy. I fall down.

—

…

…

…

A faint light begins to seep through the cracks, illuminating enough to wake me up and make me open my eyes, I look around. I see my bag propped against the wall. I'm at the shelter where Sun left me.

…

My body aches, I have a hard time keeping my eyes open, it feels like I've been sleeping on the hard floor. No, wait, there are some blankets underneath me... It's still too hard to sleep well, either that or as I said, it shouldn't help me at all that everything hurts. After a while of staring at the ceiling I try to sit up. I emphasize trying. With every slight effort a pained moan escapes me.

“Oof...” Hurts.

*creek, tap tap tap tap*

Those wood creaks bring back bad memories from last night (which by the way, I'm alive, wow, I just realized), I can't help but cringe at every noise, I hear footsteps approaching, I try to move but the stinging pain prevents me from it.

*creek... *

The door opens.

Triangular shapes appear through the door followed by orange earth tones. “…Oh…!” “Early bird!” Thank god it's Sun and not the other one, or something worse “I didn't expect you up this early!” He says laughingly.

“ah?”

“How are you feeling?” He walks in. When he sets foot inside I lean back, towards the wall. “...” I don't really know why I did that. Sun stands at the door showing confusion with his usual head tilt. “...Arrr...re you okay, Fern?”

“...” I became tense suddenly. I really don't know still if I can trust him? He hasn't done anything to me yet but that doesn't mean that I can trust him. I don't know if he plans to do something with me like whatever that other one, the moon one, was going to do last night. “...ehh...hhh...h...” I can't get a word out, I'm afraid to ask.

“Mm?”

“...” I don't know what to say to him. My eyes go somewhere else.

…

He enters further into the house, ignoring that I keep my distance from him, leaves a bag he was carrying on the floor and begins to open the windows, letting in the little light of the dawn that is just beginning. He kneels on the floor in front of me with the bag. “Are you hungry?” He opens the bag and takes out an apple “Do you like apples?”

“...”

“No?”

“...”

“Um... I also brought berries... (It's what I had on hand coming here) There are... different types, you can choose” He brings the bag closer to me. I move further away. “uhhh...”

“...” I want to leave.

“You don't like them either...?”

“...” I don't want to eat. I want to leave.

“...”

“*snif... *”

“u-um...!”

“...*snif* *sob*...” I started crying out of nowhere.

“Ahhh...! D-do- don't cry! Ah-I-Um- Ca-can go find other things you might like-!”

I felt ashamed for crying and I put my hands to my face trying to wipe away the tears, but they wouldn't stop coming. “*hic, sniff, snif *” I looked away in an attempt to cover my face. I ended up looking at the floor, letting my hair act as a curtain.

“I can go in a moment!” Sun was already getting up.

“...w-want to leave...” I managed to get a murmur out.

“...W-what? Um...”

“...” *hic, hic *

“O-okay, um... If you aren't hungry... -we can do something else- uh- we can go look for rocks like yesterday in the river!”

“...” I don't want to do anything “...want to leave...”

“O-or we can do something else! Ah-bah-b-b-b- W-won't you like to go draw??! Somewhere, some landscape?! Wherever you want! We can draw together! If you prefer we can look for animals instead of landscapes!”

“...leave...want to...go... *hic, snif *”

“¡D-don't n- uh! ¡L-let's... um- let's not- uh!” He no longer knew how to order his words “H-hey, ¿Why don't we go to-?” He extends his hand towards my arm.

“I want to go home...”

He stops before touching me and removes his hand. “...” “...home?” There is a pause. He remains silent and unmoving. He finally speaks “Do you want…?” His tone became more serious.

“...”

“...to... go see the portal?” I look up slightly, I can't see through the tears and the fogged lenses of my glasses.

“...” I nod my head.

—

…

We didn't walk far until the red began to become visible. He brought me back to the portal. The same plain of red leaves and stone arch in the center of it all, as yesterday.

…

Sun has been quiet the entire time.

He advances towards the portal and stands facing it. He turns. “Come.” He extends his hand towards me. “You can pass through.”

“...”

I advance towards the portal. I stop before crossing. If it doesn't take me back home, what do I do? I don't want to stay.

A breeze begins to come out of the portal. The breeze turns to wind, the leaves rise, they pass through us. It's the same thing that happened yesterday when I went to cross. I turn to face Sun. Motionless, he looks back at me, the leaves pause in the air for a second as if time has stopped, the wind changes. From where the wind and leaves came now they come in, they push me towards the portal. I finally cross it.

…

Am I in the forest I know? I turn to look at Sun who stayed behind in the portal. “...Sun?” He's not there. I look around. He's not here. I've already crossed the portal, he must have left.

I notice a sudden draft pass by me. It's soft, like someone walking past you. I turn towards the forest, I have to start moving, I don't want to be here another minute.

...The air current that I noticed has lifted some leaves, they reach the trees, between them the wind does something strange, it forms a transparent silhouette. It looks like Sun, I can barely see him but I could swear it's him. The wind figure raises its hand and makes a gesture, it wants me to follow it. When I approach it turns around and walks into the forest, leaving a trail of leaves behind it. I follow the trail of the air current. Sometimes it stops to look at me, making sure I'm still following it. The red-leafed trees and the paintings disappear from view the farther we go. We crossed the forest until we arrived at the entrance of the town, near my house. There is no one on the street. If I walked into the house and pretended nothing had happened, officially no one would have noticed my absence.

I'm not one hundred percent sure if the wind figure that guided me is Sun or not, but I should at least thank him for bringing me back.

…

The air current has dissipated before I turn around. I look around, there's no one.

…

…

…

I enter the house, go up to my room and throw the bag on the floor. I go to the bathroom to wash. …I feel something strange in my hands but I couldn't say what. Doesn't matter. I change my clothes and get into bed, the tiredness of the previous night makes my body succumb immediately and I fall asleep instantly.

—

…

…

…

“ah...!” I wake up with my lungs begging for air. I need a moment to calm my breathing. I look at the clock without lifting my head from the pillow.

…

It is 12 midday. I rub my eyes and from my eyes I move to my face. I'm still tired. My body still aches. I stare at the ceiling.

…

My bag. I reach out to pick it up from the floor, making strange positions so as not to get out of bed.

I open it and search in the pockets. The bell. I put the bell to my ear. “...” I shake it.

*rin, diring diring*

“...”

I open it.

…

It's empty.

[ingravinoveritas]

How did u feel with the age gap question was it pr or do u really think he meant it and this was the truth

This is referring to the question asked on The Assembly last night. I'll post the clip here, for those who haven't seen it yet:

A lot of what I felt while watching this was touched on in this incredibly thoughtful post from @body-face-words, so I encourage folks to give that a read. But I think for me, when it comes to Michael's answer, it's not a matter of whether he lied or told the truth. It's that his response was sweet, but it was also a version of the truth that sounded convincing because it needed to, because this was not a time or place where he could say what he actually felt.

I'm really not sure what people expected him to say, in all honesty, as he was never going to say anything that would make him or Anna look bad, and especially not anything that could potentially negatively impact the kids, so he instead gave a very perfect PR answer. This again does not come as a surprise because we know Michael has scripted his answers about AL/their relationship in the past, but I noticed how careful he was in his response, which seems to contrast with how off-the-cuff he normally is when discussing every other subject. Part of what so many of us love about Michael is how unfiltered he is and always has been, with the exception of how much he filters and edits himself when talking about Anna.

It also seemed like, at least from my perspective, that Michael answered the question without answering the question. What the girl asked wasn't so much about the age gap, but about AL being five years older than Michael's daughter Lily, and it would've been a perfect opportunity for him to mention her, or how the relationship with AL affected his and Lily's relationship. He could've talked about the falling out he had with her (and Kate) in 2019 once AL's existence/pregnancy came to light, and what has happened in the years since, or how Lily now gets along with Anna/her half-sisters. But instead Michael deflected from all of that and talked about everything while saying nothing at the same time.

It was also the things Michael didn't say that stood out as much as the things he did. In the entire answer to the question, Michael never once used the word "love." Prior to the show airing, I saw a lot of people online confident that he would say that he loves Anna, but he never did. He never praised her, never talked about the things he loves about her, or how glad he is to be with her. He never once mentioned her by name. The pivot and focus was on the kids, and there was a clear distinction made between how happy he is to have the family he does, rather than to be in the relationship that he is in. Michael's use of the phrase "very happy" was also identical to the wording of a comment AL wrote on Instagram the other day, which added to the whole "reinforcing a public narrative" feeling of his response.

I think what struck me most of all, though, was how somber and heavyhearted Michael sounded while saying how happy he is. It reminded me of the song "I Am a Rock" by Simon & Garfunkel, where the upbeat and cheerful music contrasts starkly with the fraught, angry lyrics. There was no sparkle in Michael's eyes when he said it, no enthusiasm for what he was saying (which is particularly jarring when we know Michael has the capacity for incredible enthusiasm), and his face never lit up while he was talking.

There was one specific moment (which is also highlighted in the body language post) where he seemed to visibly wince and the micro-expressions were in overdrive, and it immediately made me think of a moment from Good Omens:

Time and again, I have seen fans talk about Michael's micro-expressions as an actor and how he uses them to such devastating effect (especially in the role of Aziraphale). And while these two moments are not completely identical, the idea of ignoring how Michael uses those same micro-expressions in real life makes no sense to me at all. In this instance, what we're seeing could be either because he has put so much of himself into Aziraphale that we can now recognize those "Michael" moments...or it could be because in both clips he is performing, albeit for different reasons.

The difference between Michael when he is doing this vs. when he is being genuinely himself is made even more apparent by the question immediately following this one. Unprompted, he brings up David, and the change in his expression and demeanor is swift and dramatic:

Having the mention of David happen so soon after the AL question seemed to highlight so many things. I can't help but feel that David is a security blanket for Michael, something he hides behind when he is feeling anxious or sad or overwhelmed. I wondered if perhaps he was even already thinking of David while answering the AL question, which would explain why he named him so readily--as if his mind needed to drift to someplace else just to finish answering that question.

To me, this made it abundantly clear that David is Michael's safe place. Here was where we saw Michael's eyes sparkling. Here was where we saw him light up from the inside. And it was David he kept returning to and bringing up during the rest of the show in response to other questions. So if that doesn't speak volumes about where Michael's heart seems to be, I'm not sure what does.

So yes, those are my thoughts on Michael answering the age gap question on The Assembly. As always, this is just my interpretation, but I am glad to hear from my followers with your take as well. Thanks for writing in! x

[magpiefngrl]

hey! curious new writer here. which fix of yours were the easiest to write and which were the hardest? in what way?

Hello anon! Thanks for an interesting ask.

OK I'll start with the disclaimer that every fic has its difficulties as well as moments when it flows, but there have definitely been some that poured out of me with great ease than others which were a constant struggle.

The Miseducation of Draco Malfoy, my first drarry, was written at the height of my obsession and it poured out of me. I wrote like a fiend all day and would go to bed at night and reread what I wrote. I breathed that fic day and night for the weeks it took me to write it. It was also the most fun I had writing, prob because I was a complete unknown and there were zero expectations from me. Similarly, The Full Monty, written just after TMODM, was an easy fic to write. I remember I read the prompt and was immediately assaulted by images and started laughing on my own and was like, OK I need to claim this, the fic is writing itself.

Similarly but in a more tortuous way, dirtynumbangelboy poured out of me too. More tortuous because it took me ages to find the right beginning, and by then I was behind with my deadlines and got stressed. Also, I wrote it in a sort of dread of the Erised fest, because it had some amazing writers that year and I was intimidated. I remember my goal was to "at least not embarrass myself" .

But, aside from the doubts and stress, dnab itself flowed like nothing else. There are passages that I really love, even now years later, and they are exactly as they came out the first time. I did very little editing (compared to other works).

With The Boy Who Died I made a fun post on tumblr about a mdzs AU of drarry and then the idea wouldn't let me go so I had to sit and write it. Luckily it was summer and I didn't work and I could spend my days writing it. There were moments I got stumped but it mostly came out easily.

Finally, a lot of my short fics poured out of me in one go and came out almost perfectly formed. The Dare, A Perfectly Normal Reaction, and my MCD The Death You Carry are good examples.

Fics that took ages at first:

so my thing is that I have to find the right opening to begin the story, otherwise I can't proceed. I don't plan; the first scene/chapter is my plan. And sometimes I get stuck for yonks. With The Unquiet Grave I began with a Draco POV, him being a politician and Harry his bodyguard, had an interesting first scene and then---nothing. It's like I hit a wall. Zero words come. When I have this feeling, I know I need to go back and revise. Long story short, it was when I changed the POV to Harry that somehow the whole gothic mood came about and I felt the auspicious click: I got it. That's what the story is. A gothic romance. After that, it was easier.

The same thing happened with Hush, darling. I rewrote a first scene fruitlessly several times until a random bit of inspiration fell into my hands: the visual of a card game. I began with it and I let it guide me and the whole plot/stakes/cast fell into place.

Fics that needed a LOT of work and had to be dragged into existence:

The Gift is the first that comes to mind. First couple of chapters were pretty easy and then I was stumped. Writing it felt like dragging myself up a slope, step by step and also not being happy with anything, so that was fun. :/

The other is 9 ½ Days, which took actual years to finish. In that case the middle part was the hard one. I wrote the beginning fairly easily and the last chapters, the plotty ones, also flowed. But the middle. Zeus almighty. It took me years and I thought and thought and thought about it a lot. Finishing this fic was an immense relief but also a source of pride, especially because I really liked the result, and judging by the comments I get, people seem to love it too.

Thanks for an unusual ask! It was good to ponder about my fics and my writing process. The same issues seem to crop up with my original works too, and it's helpful to remind myself that I got over those issues before and I can get over them again.

[otherone12]

If You Don't Like My Chemical Romance, Wait Outside For Your Girlfriend

Gerard Way x Reader

-> Masterlist

A/N: Hey!! So… No one asked me to do this, but I remembered an edit that I saw a while ago, and the intro was Gerard saying “if you don’t like My Chemical Romance, wait outside for your girlfriend”. I Had this idea and the urge to write it (because I’m kinda obsessed with Gerard, sue me). Btw, I'm writing a Mikey x Reader Imagine (what was inspired by The Killers "Mr. Brightside" song), so i'll probably post it this week or next... well, hope you enjoy this fic (:

Summary: You have a shitty boyfriend who bother you when you're in a MCR concert. You're in the front row of the show and Gerard notices all that situation. (I imagine this with the 2007 Gerard era, but it doesn't really matter, except for the show's setlist, because it will be songs from Bullets and Revenge).

-Warnings: Abusive relationship. A lot of curse words.

- Word Count: 1.526

- Ps: Idk if it's fluff, confort, angst... i just dont't know lol

- Ps2: I'll not use y/n…

- Ps3: I'm brazilian, so english is not my first language ... sorry if i wrote something wrong.

___________________________________________

1st Person POV

My 25th birthday was last week, and my mom gave me two tickets to my favorite band’s concert, one for me and another for my boyfriend. He is not a fan of My Chemical Romance, he’s into electronic music and some country stuff (i’ve never understood his taste in music), anyways, he is coming with me. I spent the whole week talking with my friends about how amazing the concert is going to be and how excited I was. 

When the day finally came, I wanted to be one of the first in the row, because even with the premium pass I needed to be sure that I’ll be right in front of the stage. 

I heard my name when I was in my room, dressing up as Helena for the concert. I turned around just to see my boyfriend with a mad look on his face.

- You’re really going to dress like this? - The disgust on his face made me feel a bit insecure about the cosplay.

- What’s wrong about it? - I tried to stay calm, even if I was about to scream at him.

- Nothing. But you never wear dresses, neither on my birthday, and I asked you to! - He walked to my bed and sat, sighed sadly and kept talking - I just don’t understand why this is so special. 

- We’ve been together for five years, and you don’t understand why going to see the band who saved my life is special?  - I spoke calmly, took a deep breath and held my tears. I didn't want to cry on what was supposed to be a happy day.  

- I know that means alot for you, babe, but this shit means more than me? - He increased the volume of his voice.

- I… I’ve never said that! - I let his anger infect me, and now I was screaming like him.

- DID YOU FUCKING HESITED?! - He got up and I really thought that he was going to hit me or something.

- WHY DON’T YOU GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE?! I'M TRYING TO GET DRESSED! - At this point, I let my tears pumped out my eyes, accepting the fact that I'll need to redo my makeup.

- FINE! - He slammed the door, leaving me alone in the silent room.

I knew the night wasn’t going to be as good as I planned. 

*** time skip*** 

Arriving at the concert venue, my boyfriend parked the car next to the front door and we got out of the car. I saw just three people. We did it! We were ones of the first to be there.

- Oh my God! I loved your outfit! - The girl in front of us turned to me and said - I was going to dress up like this, but I didn't find the right dress.

- Thank you! I actually made the dress with an old one from my mom’s closet.  

- This is just Impeccable. 

I smiled at her and turned to my boyfriend, who was rolling his eyes. I was so excited that I didn't even care, he wouldn't ruin my day. 

- Are you sure that you want to be here waiting for the show to begin for five hours? - He sounded tired and annoyed, but we were there for just about half an hour. 

- Yeah, I'm sure. You don't have to stay if you don't want to. - I think that if he stays away for a while, he will be nicer or something, but maybe I was a bit rude and he’ll be even more mad - As long as you come for the show when it begins. 

I smiled, trying to make him see that I'm not angry, I was, but he didn't need to know.

- Sure… I'm going to find something to eat. Stay fine, babe.

He gave me a brief kiss and drove away.

*** time skip***

I was finally inside of the building, but my boyfriend didn’t get back for five hours. I was worried because I tried to call him like ten times in the last three hours, but he didn’ answer. I was about to leave, when I saw him coming.

- WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? 

I hugged him in desperation, but he seemed like he just went to the bathroom and got back in two minutes.

- Like I said, I was buying some food.- He gave me a smashed hamburger and I grabbed it with an angry look on my face.

- I was worried! Why didn’t you answer the ten fucking calls?

- My phone was on silent. - The way he seemed to not care made my blood boil. - But I'm here now, right?

- Whatever.

He opened his mouth to say something, but at the same moment, Frank, Mikey, Ray and Gerard stepped on the stage and I couldn't help but scream with the crowd. Without saying anything, “Our Lady of Sorrows” started. I was so close that I could see the color of Gerard's eyes. Was this heaven?

Everything was going really well, but it was a small show, so they kept stopping the show to talk to us. Before playing “Helena” Gerard said:

- Well, the next song is really important for us, and it’s amazing to see that so many people like it too. - He looked down at me and smiled. I forgot how to breathe for a moment. - Your dress is perfect, darling.

I was about to faint.

- T-thanks! - I said, smiling back at him.

My boyfriend gave him a death look, but Gerard just chuckled and started to sing. 

- What the fuck?! - He grabbed my arm and began to talk, loud enough to not be muffled by the music - That was why you dressed like this? to impress him? 

- I dressed like this as a tribute to this song! - I tried to make him let me go, but it didn't work, so he kept holding my arm. - It's not my fault that he noticed!

He huffed and dropped my arm.

- I need a drink.

He walked away to the bar and I stayed watching the show. I was not sure, but I think Gerard saw all that shit happening. By the way, seeing Frank and Ray playing guitar with my own eyes was the most amazing thing ever until now, and Mikey slayed so much with that bass. 

The next song that they played was “The Jetset Life Is Gonna Kill You”, and I was very enthusiastic about this song. But I haven't any idea of how this was going to end.

I was singing along, and weirdly Gerard walked close to where I was and kneew in front of me. He put his hand on my cheeks, which turned red immediately,  and kept singing “Pull the plug. But I'd like to learn your name. When holding on. Oh, I hope you do the same '' He looked deep into my eyes and continued “Aww, sugar”.

The crowd started to scream again, and my boyfriend turned to see what was happening. The scene made him get out of his mind. I know that a good girlfriend would never let this happen, and I should've backed off, but he has been such a dick since the day started, so I didn't feel blame, shame or anything else. 

- You came here five hours early to be in the front because you knew this was gonna happend! You’re a fucking slut, don’t you? - He never talked to me like that. I got so sad that I couldn't even pay attention to the song.

This sadness became anger so fast, and I pushed him away before he could say any other thing. He tried to grip me in his arms, but I dodged him, bumping into someone next to me, and spilling a drink on my dress. I was about to scream something, but I saw Gerard making a sign to the security guard, who ran to my boyfriend and told him to go away.

- It’s fucking over! - I said to him and went back to see the rest of the show.

At the end, I waited for the people at the back of the crowd to leave, so I could have easy access to leave too.

- Hey! 

I heard and didn’t believe it when I felt a touch on my shoulder. 

- I’m sorry about what happened… I shouldn't have done that - It was Gerard. He was in front of me, just us. - Apropos, I'd really like to learn your name.

We laughed with the reference.

- That’s fine, he was being such an idiot since morning. - I said, giving him a shy smile. I said my name to him and kept talking - By the way, the show was amazing! 

I was chatting with one of my favorite people in the world. I needed to make this not about my, now ex, boyfriend.

- Thanks! Good to know that even with all that shit you could enjoy the show. - He’s so cute, and the way he cares about his fans makes him even more wonderful. - It’s kinda weird but, can I get your number? It’s fine if you don’t want to give, but I find you really pretty and the way you dealt with this whole thing..  

- Sure! 

___________________________________________

~ Well, that's it, lemme know if you like it, and send me your request (;

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

I found a transcript of the Jan 98 Q interview but it won’t let me post a link

https:// groups.google .com/g/rec.music.beatles/c/7clhNbsz3jE/m/stFmXJnzJSMJ

Maybe see if you can view it by removing the space between google and .com. If not I can screenshot and send you pictures

Oh wow, amazing!! thank you so much! this is an old usenet post from December 1997 and the user named Alison Fiddler kindly typed it up 27 years ago :)

I'll post the full transcript (and a bit reformated for legibility) below the cut for everyone.

Paul McCartney Interview for Q Magazine, January 1998 edition

Q. When you first wrote a song with John Lennon, did you realise you would play one of the biggest parts in rock 'n' roll?

(Michael McConnell, Crawley, West Sussex)

Q. If John Lennon could come back for a day, how would you spend it with him?

A. Obviously not. But even with all the so-called "historical" events that followed, you're just too inside it all, too busy doing it to realise anything's "historical". You just get on with it. I'm not a great ponderer. Some people would say that's a mistake but it's just the way I am. It's quite cool not to always get the overall picture because it leaves something to be found out. The musicologists get paid to discover the differences between me and John. I'm only just beginning to see it now, based probably on their analysis. So John is often one note, I'm often more melodic. (McCartney is thinking especially of Ian McDonald's book Revolution in the Head, where he describes the ace partnership in contrasts: Lennon's method is "harmonic, dissonant", McCartney's that of the "natural melodist".) It might sound amazing but we never spotted that when we were writing. We just did our thing. But it is kind of apparent when you bother to analyse it.

(Mark Wilson, Deeside, Flintshire)

A. In bed.

Q. Were you ever envious that Brian Epstein didn't fancy you?

(Nick Gibson, London)

Q. What were the last records you bought?

A. No, I didn't mind. We just used to go to these clubs at night and wonder why there were so many men. It was OK. Brian was very cool about his side to things. I think the nearest any of us got to it was the John-going-to-Spain thing (it inspired the movie, The Hours And The Times) and I'm not sure what the strength of all that was. I think it was power play on John's part. But Brian kept his private life aside. He kept it out of our faces (pause, possibly for effect). He kept it out of mine, anyway.

(Chris Timms, Harrogate)

A. The Prodigy's The Fat Of The Land, Radiohead's OK Computer and Chopin's Nocturnes.

Q. How do you feel about all the animosity between you and Oasis right now?

(Christina Vellano, Syracuse, New York, USA)

A. There is none as far as I'm concerned. What happened was I'd said, Good group, good singer, good songwriters. But people asked me about it so much that one time I decided to take it further and say that they don't mean anything to me. I am not related to Oasis. I wish them good luck and everything. But my kids mean something to me, John Lennon means something to me, but Oasis ....

Q. Who would you pick to play with in your dream six-piece band?

(Alan Thatcher, Essex)

A. Dream? So we're into fantasy, aren't we? Ringo, John, George, that's three. Me. Jimi Hendrix. That makes lots of guitarists, so Little Richard on keyboards.

Q. With Wings, did you feel pressurised to live up to The Beatles?

(Andrew Williams, Neath)

A. Yes, it was a case of "follow that!". Impossible to do. Looking back on it, it's a lot better than I thought, though some of it is just not PLAYED as well as The Beatles. My son (James, co-worker on McCartney's last pop album, Flaming Pie) plays a lot of Wings, so I'm re-listening, and there's good shit that I'd forgotten about. A lot of the lyrics were off the wall, drug stimulated. Things like "Soily - the cat in the satin trousers says its oily". What was I on? I think the answer is stimulants.

Q. Do you still support the legislation of cannabis?

(Grahame Woods, Northwood, Middlesex)

A. I would make a distinction between legalising and decriminalising. I'm in favour of the latter. The problem is that jails are stuffed full of kids doing what a lot of people do. Why stuff the jails with young kids? Plus it's one of the best places to score. I remember when I got busted in Japan, nobody made the slightest effort to rehabilitate me (laughs). Just stuck me in a box for nine days. Obviously you come out and you are fairly resentful.

Q. Do you roll a wicked joint?

(Steve Kline, Bury)

A. I have nothing to say in answer to that question, m'lud. I wasn't even at the venue.

Q. The critics have been harsh on your solo work. Did this ever

discourageyou?

(Robert Hemauer, Madison, Wisconsin, USA)

A. Yeah, sure, but you don't let it kill you. It's a difficult one, because it's never cool for someone to tell you you're shit. Many people through history were damned by the critics of their own time - Cezanne, Van Gogh, Stravinsky, all great painters! Ha ha!

Q. We'd like to see your paintings but can't get to the exhibition in

Germany (McCartney unveils his work for the first time in Siegen, Germany, next year). Any thoughts about putting your paintings on "tour", or publishing a book of them?

(Kathy Goodman, San Diego, CA, USA)

Q. You've done so many things - classical, films, music, art, drugs - is there anything left you might have a go at?

A. A difficult one. If you're a so-called celebrity - like Bowie, Anthony Quinn, Tony Curtis - and you exhibit any art, inevitably, people are not going to think of you as a real painter. Gallery owners come up to me and offer to give me exhibitions. I say, You haven't seen my pictures, and they say, It doesn't matter. Well, it does to me. Otherwise, it's just trading on the name. However, this guy from Germany came over, looked at all my paintings, seems to like them. He's telling me what they're all about.

(Tim Bowler, Swansea)

A. The thing is how reluctant I've often been to have a go. I think we were brought up pretty repressed. Brought up to be seen and not heard, to stay in your place, particularly a working class thing. And I think - I hope - with The Beatles, we got rid of a lot of that. With the painting, for instance, it was Willem de Kooning who liberated me. I used to go to his studio, took in one of my paintings, said, Hey Bill, I hope you don't mind but can you tell me what it is? (Affects American drawl) "Oh, looks "like a couch." Well it looked like a purple mountain to me. And he says, "Well, whatever." Here's one of the greats, his works go for one million, and it was great to see how little bullshit he was bringing to it all. It's really important to explode these myths that surround the arts, music, painting. It's Wizard of Oz time - so many myths, and it's often just a little man behind the screen. The paraphernalia that surrounds them gets in the way. Often you meet leaders in their field and they have none of that. I remember asking a great painter - Peter Blake, maybe - for some advice once, and he said "Just paint a lot". Similar to my approach to music.

Q. How do you know when a song's finished?

(Joyce Slavik, Palatine, Illinois)

A. It's full up. You've answered all of your questions. Normally, I start following a thread: "Eleanor Rigby picks up the rice ... " The thread might come out of nowhere, and I follow it and complete it, like crossword puzzle. When the crossword is full up, the song is finished.

Q. What's more embarrassing: writing Hi Hi Hi or Say Say Say?

(Tien Vu, Costa Mesa, California)

A. (Weighs up pros and cons). Say Say Say.

Q. Why did you give such extensive interviews for an authorised biography (Paul McCartney: Many Years From Now) instead of writing an autobiography?

(Deena Hochberg, Southampton, Pennsylvania)

Q. I'd like to know if Sir Paul sings in the shower, and if so, what does he sing?

A. I don't think I'm a writer. I've never been moved to do it. You have to have a pretty big fire in the belly to do something as big as that. I fancy music more. I'm happier writing in songs rather than in prose, or poetry. Though I wrote something that was never published about the time I got busted in Japan - for my kids. Because I knew one day they'd say, "Hey dad, what was it like, nine days in a Tokyo jail?". So I had a mate of mind, who did all our printing, knock up a few copies, one for each of the kids.

(Jennifer Nash, Bursville, Minnesota)

Q. As a kid you used to play pranks at school by throwing balloons filled with something "worse than water". If you had one of those balloons right now who would you like to hit with it?

A. It's normally the bath. I prefer a good bath. And the answer's Firestarter - "I'm a firestarter, de-de-de-de-dera."

(Brett Yuskiewicz, Leipzig, Germany)

A. Jonathan King. He's a prat from way back.

Q. Which football team did/does each Beatle support?

(WC Chan, Maryland, USA)

A. None of us were big footie types. We weren't very sporty, unlike other groups who were always having knock-arounds. My dad was an Everton fan, which I was most of my life. But then Liverpool started playing well, and Everton didn't, so I took the unprecedented move of supporting them both. It's not allowed, I know, but there you go.

Q. For years, you've claimed it's you in the Walrus costume in the Magical Mystery Tour film. But watching the footage shows that for it to be you, you and John would have had to exchange all your clothes. Are you winding us up, or have you not watched the film in 30 years?

(Dorothy Northcutt, Tucker, Georgia)

Q. What is the quality of each of the other Beatles that you like(d) the best about?

A. The big one. Very good question. I tell you what it was. In the stills we had taken, I was the one with the Walrus head on – in the film it's different. So John then immortalised it in Glass Onion, "I've got news for you all, the walrus was Paul". Obviously at the time you don't care, it's just a Walrus head. You don't realise years later people like our friend from Georgia will analyse it.

(S. Breggles, Richmond)

A. All of them – musical talent. All of them – honesty. Ringo – funny, and kind-hearted. George – straightforward and open. John – witty with a soft centre, or maybe hard with a soft centre.

Q. Do the copulating beetles on the sleeve of Ram (1970) stand for F**k The Beatles?

(Luc Van de Wiele, Wemmel, Belgium)

A. It happened to be a picture Linda had taken. We couldn't resist it just because of the way it looked. She'd caught these two beetles f**king, and then the significance hit us. We saw that pun, yeah, thought why not?

Q. Was there ever a third Lennon song for Anthology 3?

(Jake Lennington, Rush City, MN, USA)

A. There was, but George didn't like it. The Beatles being a democracy, we didn't do it.

Q. I have a Beatles t-shirt which I bought from The Grapes (celebrated Liverpool pub). I was told the band are pictured in their favourite seats - adjacent to the Ladies where you would often catch a glimpse of the girls changing for an evening at The Cavern. True?

(Alan Tomkins, Goring, West Sussex)

A. I hope so. It SOUNDS true. Had there been an opportunity to spot the girls changing, I'm sure we would have sat there.

Q. If you hadn't been a musician, what do you think you would have been?

(Tony Carter, Manchester)

A. The only thing I could have probably qualified for was teaching. So I might have been an English teacher.

Q. Does it do your head in - stuff like the handwritten lyrics to Getting Better selling for $249,000 at Sothebys?

(Peggy Robinson, Trinant, Gwent)

A. It's the price of fame - literally. You scribble them on the back of an envelope, and it gets to be famous. People want it, so it becomes a desirable object. Like Mozart's bog paper, which is another highly desirable object, apparently. More valuable obviously if it's been used.

Q. What is the inscription on the ID bracelet you wear?

(Rachel Hyland, West Harford, Connecticut)

A. It says Paul - for when I forget who I am.

Q. How does it feel to have a star named after you (the christening courtesy of American astronomy fans)?

(John Sales, Barry, Glamorgan)

A. Really cool. The good thing is that as you get on, your fans get on too. And some of them are pretty swotty. Like the people who started Apple, they were just Beatles fans, hence the name. You don't sit around looking at the sky, trying to find it, but it's like getting a very nice birthday present. I'm not religious, I don't believe in any one system - I sort fo think the universe is basically benevolent and we f**k it up - but I am spiritual. I saw Stephen Hawking on TV the other night, and he was saying that we are made of the same stuff as the stars. Which is great. We are all stardust, luv.

Q. What do you want written on your gravestone?

(Tom Mangold, Exeter)

A. Here lies Gracie Fields. Anything to keep people away.

[freetobeeyouandme]

No new chapter of the Byler Isekai Fantasy AU today because I need way longer for edits than I thought, plus I think I just really need to overthink my posting schedule, BUT in the meantime I'd like to inform you that I already have a long, multichaptered Byler Fantasy AU complete up on Ao3. Just in case you didn't know yet and want something similar to tide you over until I get around to posting again next week.

Through A Dark Glass, Wanting

90k | Rated M | Fantasy AU, D&D inspired AU, Canon Typical Horror, Blood and Gore, Body Horror, Suicidal Ideation, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Will Byers is so loved if he only accepted it, Will keeps making bad decisions bear with him

When a dark corruption spreads from the Deep Woods north of the kingdom of Roane, it falls to Will and his friends to investigate the cause. But as they close in on what seems to be the inevitable final confrontation with the Mad Wizard they have been fighting for years, Will finds his magic failing him as the darkness that scarred him during his first encounter with that very man finally overtakes him. Will stands no chance at stopping the demons that have been haunting him – after all how can he fight for a happy ending when he doesn’t believe he deserves one? - Or, Will learns to accept that his friends love him a whole lot more than he thinks they should.

I wrote this one during last year's Byler Big Bang, so it has a lot of wonderful art by the extremely talented @katimanki, and since I really enjoyed working on it I want to give it some love today (also because the next BBB is just around the corner - yay!). I'll definitely be back with the next chapter of the Isekai AU next week, but also be warned that I'm probably going to stick to a three week posting schedule for the last couple of chapters. I very much over/underestimated how long this bad boy would be and how much time I would be able to spend on it, so while I don't like it, it is now what it is.

An excerpt and my usual taglist below (since I'm assuming you might be interested in another fantasy AU as well)

Chapter 1: The Inn at the End of the World

Will spends dinner staring at the dark clouds obscuring the woods less than a days ride away from the inn. Night has already begun falling around them, but the clouds hovering over the trees almost glow a little in the dark, as if to make sure he remembers that they are there. Inside of the clouds he can see the tree tops and dark spots of creatures flying. General consensus is that the Deep Woods are a dead place, but he knows that’s not true. Whatever the shadow touches doesn’t die. It just wishes it had.

An elbow hits him in the ribs, for the second time in as many minutes. It’s only on the second time, though, that he realizes the elbow is intentional – for once this evening.

“Byers, you gonna finish that or not?” Dustin says, wiping his mouth while also eyeing the bread on Will’s plate.

Will wordlessly pushes his plate – the only plate on the table that isn’t completely blank – over to his friend.

Immediately he feels Mike’s knee knock into his, and silently curses the inn for being so packed that they had to squeeze four of them onto a bench made for three. Even with Lucas hanging half off it, leaning over to chat with Max, it’s a tight fit. Too tight. And Dustin’s elbow is nothing compared to Mike’s…well, Mike’s everything.

He can feels Mike’s hot breath on his cheek when he speaks. “Are you okay?”

Will puts on a practiced smile. “I’m fine,” he reassures his best friend. He nods at the window behind Mike’s head. “Just not really feeling hungry right now.”

Mike follows his gaze and sighs. “Just make sure to have breakfast, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. I know. We need our strength.”

Mike returns Will’s eye roll with a tight smile.

Will grabs the half eaten chicken leg from his plate and takes a tentative bite to appease him. Mike, apparently satisfied that Will’s not gonna drop dead of starvation before they even set foot in the woods, turns back to whatever conversation he was having with El on his other side. Will drops the chicken again and grabs a napkin instead.

Dustin pushes the now more empty plate towards the middle of the table. He has eaten maybe half of what Will had left over, leaving the chicken leg and the harder parts of the bread.

He pats his stomach. “Tiamat’s Third head, I’m full.”

“That’s still not gonna catch on,” Will tells him.

Dustin gives him the finger. Then he belches.

Will decidedly turns his nose out of the path, staring instead at the crowd around them. The inn, a small affair just on the border between the Duchy of Hawkins and the impenetrable Deep Woods, is teeming with people. At first Mike had been worried they wouldn’t even get rooms, but that was the one thing The Aleful Dragon had not been short of. They could each have gotten their own, but instead they’d gone for their usual three: One double for the girls, two for the boys. Officially.

Will eyes the tankard in front of Dustin, silently hoping it will stay at that one but knowing that since this is their last proper night in civilization, it won’t. And unfortunately, unlike Mike, Dustin snored when he was drunk.

The innkeeper’s son comes to clear away their table, shyly ducking his head as he does so. In his eyes there is the recognition that had become more and more common over the past two years. This is the Prince of Hearts, Slayer of the Thessalian Hydra and Scourge of the Mad Wizard. This is no ordinary band of would-be heroes at his table.

To everyone’s surprise, it is Dustin whom he addresses when he brings them the round of beers they order as he clears the table.

“You are Dustin the Bold, right?” When Dustin nods he swallows and asks in a quiet voice: “Would you mind if I asked my mother if you could play tonight? We have our house musicians, but…”

Dustin’s grin is wolfish. “Do I ever mind that, my young friend? Tell her I will play all night if she only keeps the beer coming.”

Will doesn’t bother pointing out that the innkeeper's son seems to be a few years older than them, actually. Dustin’s flame is lit and he doesn’t think their bard will hear much tonight that doesn’t pertain to song requests.

The young man runs off happily to tell his mother the news, and sure enough she herself comes to their table to negotiate the deal. It’s a standard contract as far as the work of a bard goes: The drink will be on the house for him and his companions. The rooms they still have to pay for.

It means hell for Will’s ears, but he supposes he can always go to bed early, perhaps be deeply asleep by the time the snoring starts. Considering how long Dustin plans on playing and drinking, he might do that anyway.

Dustin gets up as the innkeeper heads back to the bar. He makes a big show of having to get out of the booth, shooing Lucas and Max into a frenzy. That still doesn’t seem fast enough because he just climbs up on the table to leave it in the end. It’s either some eerie talent or everyone else’s quick reflexes that mean he doesn’t spill any ale as he crosses.

“Sir Michael, my lute if you please?”

Mike looks up at him, rolling his eyes. “Get your dirty boots of the table, Dustin.”

Dustin lifts his chin in defiance. “My lute, I said.”

Will sees how they had been identified in this nowhere inn despite their plain clothes. Even in a simple tunic, visibly mended here and there where it had gotten ripped and torn in previous battles, Dustin strikes an imposing figure. The lute that is leaning against the wall beside their booth could be the prized possession of a simple minstrel, but the confident set of Dustin’s shoulders and the glimmer of knowledge in his eyes identify him clearly as a Bard of the Conclave. Take then his companions and even the people who had not seen Mike’s crown-and-heart shield as they carried their things upstairs were sure to know who was drinking among them.

Mike shakes his head and wordlessly hands over the richly painted instrument.

@smalltownwheeler @wheelerpilled @wrong-energy @foodiewithdahoodie @doggozzy @gardenfairie @beelikesbirds @beverlysclown @yickarus @sourdough-el @hessolivagant @hesquietoday @oldfashionedmorphine @total-serene560 @bylersrise @hawkinsunderground @generalstorecashier @snixx @camel-casing @bylersbear01 @turningsoft @casatoan @maru-chu @mid13s @goldentrunks @bunnybylerfangirl @willbyersenthusiast @letterstomichelangelo @drowninginideas @fluffyfangirl @artsyna @absolutelynotyouidiot @bymarara @unknowmiau @are-you-reddie @elherself134 @longtallglasses @kennahjune @easilyentertained99 @bylerschapter @father-imperator @bylerina

[purecantarella]

Hard to Love

bc i loved the song sm and i wrote this last month before kinktober started but i still want it out there!! i hope you all enjoy this one!! edit before posting : this is subject to changes and edits bc i finished writing this at 2AM park rosé x reader disclaimer/s : smoking, cursing, and an angsty time. read with a level head.

You'd known Rose pretty much her entire time in South Korea. She had met you when she had snuck out one night, needing some relief from the stress from another argument with her managers.

You just so happened to be at the right place at the right time.

You yourself needed a little break from work. Your co-workers were petty idiots and elected to push off all their pending projects onto you and the rest of your team because your boss had compared your work ethic to theirs.

After hours upon hours of sitting at a desk in a lowly lit room, you needed a break from the dreary office walls. You're greeted by an early morning chill. It had to be at least 2AM.

You breathe a tired sigh before carefully pulling a pack of cigarettes out of your back pocket. You swiftly place the stick between your lips, lighting the end ablaze while you leaned up against the cold wall of the alley way.

Of course you didn't mind people seeing you smoking, but it wasn't exactly smiled upon. You breath out a gray puff as you close your eyes, fighting off sleep as you did so.

Before you can completely get lost in the warmth the cigarette brought, a voice caught you off guard, "Bum me one?"

You nearly jump out of your skin at the sudden appearance of a young, blonde woman standing next to you. Her eyebrows creased and lips pressed into a thin line. She was clearly not in the mood to deal with anyone or anything.

You pull the pack out again, offering her the box. Quickly and without a second thought she pulls a stick out and you light the end of her stick without question. You watch her breath in the smoke and quickly huff it out.

"Thats the good shit." She whispers, you assume she thinks you can't hear her.

You chuckle, pulling the cigarette out of your mouth, "Penny for your thoughts, ma'am?" The woman looks over at you, irrediculously. As if you asked the dumbest question in the world before she laughs dryly.

"Ever just love your job but hate the people because their fucking pricks. Not understanding the slightest bit of creativity or freedom." She raves. You smile while you watch her run a hand through her blonde hair.

You take another huff of smoke before boldly blowing it in her diection, catching her off guard. She stares at you with wide eyes before you drop the stick and promptly step on it, "I have an idea on how shitty unimaginative co-workers can be."

You pause to get a good look at the woman. You knew she was famous, her face was plastered everywhere but you didn't really care for all that limelight. You meet her eyes and smile at her, "Try not to get caught. Would hate for the headlines to have my face next to yours." You lower your voice to a hushed tone, "Would hate to ruin the image of perfection."

You look around before slipping the rest of the box into her open hand. She laughs softly before you wink her way and turn a heel to return to your office.

In all honesty, you thought that would be the end of it until you met each other the next night, and the night after that, and each one after that. She was there waiting in the same alley and it had become the highlight of your work days.

"Don't people go looking for you when you leave?" You ask as Rosé leans against the wall, not really smoking just choosing to keep you company instead of being at YG. She laughs softly, before looking at you sarcastically, "Of course they look for me. I'm hot shit."

You roll your eyes before turning to her with a smirk, "Yeah you are hot."

The singer looks at you from her position on the wall, an amused smile and raised brow as she leans forward, challenging you. She lifts her hand and curls her finger in. You confidently stride up to her for her to tug you by the tie around your neck, "Is that right?"

"Yeah." You reply faking carelessness. She's fucking obsessed with it.

Rosé tugs you closer as she bites down on her lower lip, "I would argue the same." You place a hand on the brick wall behind her as you tower over her. The smirk on your face grows as she tugs you lower to meet her lips. It was rough and needy and it all left you breathless.

That was the beginning of the most complicated relationship you'd ever known.

After that night, you two saw each other far more often. She gave you her address, her number, and semi-free access to YG Entertainment's facilities. Rosé gave you everything she could in spite of herself.

While waiting for her, you flip through a poetry book that was on her couch as Hank looks up at you pleading. You eye him before checking the corner, making sure Rosé wouldn't catch you letting him on the couch. You grin mischievously

"He's not allowed on the couch, N/n." The singer warns while putting her earing on. You look up and you can't help the smile that sparks onto your lips as you look her up and down. "Aren't you an attractive specimen, miss Park."

You prop Hank on your lap, "Hanky, doesn't mommy look simply stunning?"

Rosé rolls her eyes, commanding her pet to get off you. She plops herself down on your lap abruptly. You grunt before pushing her blonde hair to the side. "Careful with that mommy talk, might get you in trouble, Y/n."

You don't respond just looking up at her adoringly, lifting your hand to stroke her cheek gently. As you do, the singer blushes, feels butterflies shooting around her stomach. Trying to brush the feelings off, she laughs nervously. "Stare all you want now, people would pay to see me this close." She plays off.

You lean up, pecking her lips gently, "How about we skip the reservation." Rosé quirks a brow and laughs softly, silently questioning you. "I just want to spend time with you. I don't want anyone gawking and interrupting that." You pause again, leaving a quick kiss to her nose. "Just the two of us."

Her cheeks burn up as you stare at her, affection overflowing in your eyes. You watch as her fight back a smile, Hank jumps beside you both and sits down beside you. Both of you laugh and you stroke his fluffy head as you plop your head on Rosé's shoulder, "The three of us then."

Rosé shifts her gaze from the puppy to your. A mix of giddiness and anxiety fills her as she watches you but for a moment it fades as you look up at her. She strokes your cheek as she nods, "Yeah...I'd like a night in with you."

The singer falls into your arms, not caring about the delicate fabric of her dress, just wanting to be more comfortable in your arms. It's foreign to her, letting someone so close to her. She breathes a calm sigh as you tell her stories of your life.

Your conversation drawls out deep into the night. It wasn't long until you'd fallen asleep with her cuddled up to your chest. Rosé stares at you, etching your peaceful image into her head.

Carefully, she brushes your hair out of your face, biting her lip as she her heart pounds madly against her chest. "God I wish I could promise you the world, N/n...you're a dream wrapped up in the most adorable face." She confesses, the smile on her face fades. "But I just wonder how long you'll last..."

Tears prick her eyes pathetically and hides her face in your neck, a soft sob breaking from her lips. You stir awake, feeling her tears on your skin. Immediately, sleep fades from your body and you force her chin up slowly in spite of her resistance.

"What happened? Are you alright?" She laughs, voice cracking as she does, while shaking her head. "It's stupid. Just a nightmare..."

You take her cheeks in your hands, wiping her tears away. "You can come to me with anything...a nightmare, if you're hungry, if you need anything. I'm your girl." She smiles and nods against your palm, leaning into the warmth you offered her. You smile and pull her into your arms, squeezing her delicately.

"I'll protect you from those nightmares."

"You're such a dork."

The night ending with your laughter, the sweetest melody she'd ever heard. She would do anything to hear it every day.

It'd been months since you and Rosé first met and became an unofficial item. It had been the most blissed out both of you had been. You'd been less crabby to your co-workers and she had so much energy during promotions.

It seemed like smooth sailing until one night, just another argument about the dumbest, most menial thing. The bickering boiling over into a fight about how much time she spends with single men and women who would kill to get her attention.

"So you're saying that I'm easy to win over?" She yells out as throw your head back in frustration, groaning loudly before falling into irritated laughter. "Now you're trying to belittle my emotions! Why the fuck would you stand there and just laugh!"

"Do you know how fucking insane you sound right now, Roseanne. I'm not the one who stayed out all night last night, drinking and partying with rando people!" You bark back to which Rosé scoffs and crosses her arms. "Why can't you just trust me, Y/n?! Those are my friends! What are you going to stop me from seeing my friends?"

She pauses to step up to you glaring down at you, "Who sounds fucking crazy now?" The singer stomps off to the kitchen, grumbling to herself that she just wanted a quiet night in.

"Is it so much to ask that as your girlfriend you—" Rosé laughs madly as she slams a cabinet door.

"We are barely together! Get it in your head that you're—" You cut her off, practically seething with anger as you hiss out, "What? A passing fancy? Is that all I am to you, Chaeyoung?"

"Well maybe you are." You're taken aback, your eyes go wide as you stare at her expression. Waiting for the shift, the guilt, but she remains cold and her eyes continue to stare you down. You run your hands in front of your face as you hastily grab your things on the kitchen island.

"You are absolutely impossible to love Park Rose." Rosé freezes from her place in the kitchen as you rub your eyes gently, tiredness running through your body. You loosen your grip on your coat and purse. You turn back around to face her but before you can say anything her hand is up in your face, instantly silencing you.

She flashes you a tight smile as she pushes herself off the counter. Clearing her throat, subtly reaching up to push her tears back into her eyes.

"...Rosie..."

"No." She snaps, her smile unwavering but you see the twinge of hurt on her face, the sparkle of her tears. You take a step forward, an apologetic look on your face but she shakes her head, "You're right. I'm hard to love."

Rosé chuckles, running a hand through her hair. "I will..." She shoots you an awkward set of finger guns, "...See you, Y/n. You can..." A soft sniffle falls from her as she turns around, waving you off, "Uh...you can let yourself out."

You stand in the doorway, bag seeming heavier than when you packed it. You stare down the hallway, playing through every scenario you could. Doing anything to stay where you were for a little longer. Bringing you back to reality, Hank paws up your leg, whining softly.

You pat his head gently, smiling down at him with a sad smile, "Take care of her for me, bud. She and I are looking for different things right now..." You pause, chuckling to yourself, just how stupid you must look. "I love you Hanky and I love your mom too. Make sure she takes care of herself...alright?"

He barks softly, seeming to understand you. You offer him a proud nod before commanding him to go to Rosé's room. You pull the bag back onto your shoulder, looking around the room one more time before huffing and stepping out the door.

Rosé peaks from the hallway...regret and a bitter taste resonating with her. The words she spat at you were vile and she wished she'd never said them. But she was too late.

"You're impossible to love." Your words rang in her ears as she slid down the corner of the wall, her tears dampening her cheeks. Soft sobs that clung to her chest during your argument released and she could no longer control herself.

All night she wailed as you lay in your bed practically tearing your hair out from regret and frustration.

Weeks later, you still hadn't recovered from your argument with Rosé. Unsure where you both stood, if you were still a couple or not. But you didn't want to face it.

Though as much as you wanted to, it was impossible to avoid Rosé. Her face was plastered on every billboard, your co-workers talked insistently about the group's songs releasing soon, and you still saw her in the street from time to time. She met your eye before quickly pulling her gaze away.

It hit harder than you thought it would have.

"I have to say I didn't think Rosé would hit so hard!" You flinch at your female co-worker's words. You peak up your cubicle and see three of them talking amongst one another. The other two agreed as the third fiddled with their laptop, replaying a portion of a song from the group's album.

Your blood ran cold as her words rang in your ears, "Cause I'm hard to love."

Rather uncharacteristically, you hop to your feet and approach the gabbing women. You smile politely, to which they're shocked...they'd never seen you speak to them not about work. "Sorry to bother you...but what song was that?"

They stare at you gobsmacked before explaining it was Rosé's latest solo song on the group's album. As quickly as you came, you disappear, searching the song's title online, pulling your headphones onto your head quickly.

Your hands tremble as you read the title over and over again in your head. Swallowing thickly, you click the thumbnail of the song. The words making your heart tremble. Hearing her voice, even if it was a recording, was the sweetest catharsis you'd ever felt but at the same time her words...your words...stung you in ways you didn't think could hurt.

It was all new. You wanted to see her. You needed to.

"Are you alright, Y/n?" Your co-worker asked, her expression soft as she motions to the tears falling from your eyes. You quickly wipe them away as her hands are on your shoulders trying to console you.

You push yourself out of your chair quickly, "I..." You clear your throat, trying to keep your voice from cracking. "I need some air...I'm going to..." You point out the door before dashing for it in spite of your co-workers calling for you.

As you make it out of the office building, a sense of clarity hits you. All the moments you shared with Rosé smack you across the face, imagining how you felt when you were with her. You pant and run your hands through your hair desperately, the realization that you just let go of the greatest coincidence of your life.

Thunder clapped, pulling you out of your daze.

You stare up at the darkening sky, cursing to yourself. A day you chose not to wear a coat...of course. Without thinking twice, you're quick to dash through the busy streets, feeling droplets of rain pouring onto your skin, leaving you soaked but all you can think of was that day you left her in her apartment.

The broken look on her face, the tremble in her voice, the things you said, and the things you wanted to say. Each thought pounds through your body. Pushing you forward until your breath is ragged and your legs are sore.

A sense of relief floods you when you see the YGE building in the distance, you smile tiredly before sprinting. It wasn't long before you were dripping in the lobby of the entertainment building, garnering stares from staff.

The receptionist stares at you, deadpanning, "I feel like I haven't seen you in weeks."

You laugh before nodding, "It's been hell trying to stay away." The young woman nods before looking over the schedule. Clicking her tongue softly as you tap your fingers anxiously along the desk.

Her words fade in the background as you look up and see Rosé, typing away at her phone as her managers surrounded her. You see the familiar tight lipped expression as the older men around her speak to her.

She looked just angelic as the moment you first saw her in that alley.

You're frozen in place as everything returns. The good, the bad, the past few months and how it felt to have her with you. In whatever way, you wanted to be with her.

Your feet take you out of the building, following her to the van. "Park Roseanne!" Your voice echoes through the open parking lot. Her managers look around to glare at you, they never did like you, thinking you were a bad influence on Rosé and her eyes immediately find you.

"Y/n?" She puts her phone away, and stares at you. The singer tries to uphold a stoic and distant demeanor but she was glad to see you. Seeing you brought her so much joy. "What are you doing here?"

For a moment you don't know what to say. Your mouth is stuck and all you can do is open your mouth then close it. Her manager's scoff and tell her, "Chaeyoung, this is a waste of time. Let's go." He guides her back towards the car.

You snap into action, "No, you've had control over her for far too long, sir." He glares at you, the singer beside him stifling a giggle. Composing herself, she"Say what you need to say then."

Your eyes locked, a flare of sincerity flashes over your face. "You aren't hard to love. I shouldn't have ever told you that. I..." You pause to catch your breath, Rosé stares at your soaked figure. You blush under her intense gaze. "You're impossible not to love. You're gentle, and hilarious, and gorgeous, and so unlike any person I've met. It makes me nervous and excited and I was scared that I couldn't keep up with you and you'd see right through that."

Rosé's hands tremble as she watches you pour your heart out, unsure if what was dribbling down your face were strayed raindrops or tears.

"I know you can't give me everything, I don't want you to have to. I want you to go out and live your life, be the success you can. I want you to be your authentic self."

You laugh, pushing your damp hair out of your face, staring up at the thundering sky. "I don't care that you can't give me everything...I just want to be with you, strings or no." You pause and laugh tiredly, "I love you, Rosie."

"Okay, I've heard enough of this idiocy. Chaeyoung, we need to go. You'll be late to dinner." Her manager ushers. For a moment she's frozen in time. All she can think of is how much she missed you, just how every song in her head was your voice, and just how sad and genuine you looked standing in the rain.

Rosé steps into the van, your heart sinks as she does. Her managers breathe a sigh of relief, giving instructions to block you from YGE's systems. You gnaw on your lower lip, disappointment sinking in your stomach. You turn around a sense of dread knowing you'd have to go back to a life without Park Chaeyoung.

As you walk away, you hear the faint sounds of pitter-pattering footsteps.

"Chaeyoung!" Her manager's call out in a panicked tone. And before you can react, her coat is above your head, covering both of you. You flush under her gaze, seeing just how close she was. It had been far too long since you'd seen the singer this close. "You're going to get sick if you stay in the rain for too long." She jokes before smiling up at you, brightening the grey sky.

"It's not going to be easy. I'm going to be so busy, so hard to trust, and I might just hurt you..." She pauses nudging her nose against yours, a broken expression on her face. You lift your hand, offering her a small smile as she whispers, "I might just fuck it up...like I do everything..."

"I want to try. Let me be the one in a million for you, Rosie." You laugh pulling her closer, her hands tightening around the coat above both of you. "If you fuck up, we'll fuck up together." You peck her lips gently, allowing the touch to linger.

You smile as you pull away, watching as her cheeks redden. "It's you and me, Rosé."

She giggles and tilts her head in shyly. "God, I love you, Y/n."

"Let's get you dried off, come on." Her events for the evening being the last thing on her mind, she lowers one of her hands, taking yours. You look down at the interlocked digits and a flood of warmth flowing through your entire body.

The warmth heating up your chilly body and for Rosé, she didn't feel so alone...so genuinely loved so to speak.

and im soft and this took much longer but also i wanted to do the idea justice and i wanted my return to angsty floof to be memorable HAHAHAHAH i hope you all liked this one!! classes started up again and have me on my knees wishing i was dead HAHAHAHA but i will see you all vv soon!! i love yo all and take care of yourselves, my lovelies 💖 - r

[elliespassagerprincess]

𝗔𝗹𝗹 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗴𝗶𝗿𝗹𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂'𝘃𝗲 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗱 𝗯𝗲𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗲: 𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘢𝘮𝘴 𝘹 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

This is a happy one! Like i promised in my last post.. speaking of my last post thank you for all the love and support! Anyway lets get back to the story:)

This story is based off the edit below! It popped up on my fyp and i was like "fuck yeah! lemme make this a story"

And it's also heavily inspired by the song All of the girls you've loved before by Taylor Swift! If you can please listen to the song as you're reading:) The story is not based off the full song, only the beginning <3

𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴: Jackson!ellie x fem!reader

Remember requests are always open! Feel free to leave one, or you could just send me a song and i'll take it from there

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: none:)

𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: Two lost girls, finally found what they've been looking for in each other

When you think of all the late nights

Lame fights over the phone

Wake up in the mornin' with someone

But feelin' alone

Ellie sighed, slightly rubbing her eyes, as she slowly sat up. She didn't know where she was, and who the hell was laying next to her?

Suddenly all the memories came flooding back to her. Dina broke up with her, Ellie went out to celebrate her new freedom, Ellie saw you for the first time, she got jealous that Dina was dancing with you. Even though Ellie had no clue who you were, she wanted you. She got drunk and she ended up in some random girls bed.

"What a night" Ellie thought to herself. She got out of the bed as quietly as possible- trying not to wake the girl next to her. Ellie let out a soft fuck as her feet touched the cold tiles. She practically ran back to her house, praying that no one saw her.

Ellie hopped in the shower, warm water hit her hair, and she led out a hum out of pleasure as the water dripped down her head. As she squeezed a big gulp of shampoo on her hair, her thoughts went back to you.

Who were you? Why hasn't she seen you before? Why were you dancing with Dina? Did you like girls? Could she have you?

Ellie quickly decided she'll find out who you were. Ellie wanted to, no, needed to have you. You were beautiful. The kind of beautiful that would make any person fall in love with you instantly. The kind of beautiful that would make make thousands of people drool over you. Even if you didn't want Ellie, Ellie just needed to know your name.

A heart is drawn around your name

In someone's handwriting, not mine

We're sneakin' out into town

Holdin' hands, just killin' time

A small smile graced Ellie's face as she wrote in her journal. Your name sat in a corner with a heart around it.

Since that day, Ellie went straight to Maria, immediately asking her a million questions about the new pretty girl. After interrogating Maria, Ellie found out you came a couple of months ago, and that you worked on a farm. To Ellie's frustration, Maria wont tell her anymore things about you. So her only option was to go up to and talk to you.

It was a silly crush. Or it started as a crush, but now it's an obsession. Ellie memorized your routine. She knew what time you came to breakfast, she knew which animals were your favorite. She got to know you, by listing in on your conversations with friends. She knew your favorite color, favorite bands. Ellie knew everything.

"You cant follow her around forever a voice" said from behind Ellie, and she almost pissed herself. Ellie turned around and met eyes with Tommy.

''You like her, don't you?"

"Like is a under statement" Ellie said

"you know, talking to her is easy" another voice said.

"Why the fuck are you talking to my girl" Ellie asked and she made eye contact with Jesse.

"She isn't yours" tommy interrupted

"yet" Ellie said quickly

"Well you better hurry up because you aren't the only one that has eyes for her" Tommy said pointing to where you were standing

Ellies brows furrowed as she took in the sight. You were there talking to some of the new guys that recently joined Jackson. Ellie felt like she could see red. If they were allowed to keep weapons on them, Ellie would've grabbed one of her knives and she would cut off their-

Her thoughts of violence were cut off by Jesse's hand coming into contact with her shoulder, giving her a slight nudge, its now or never he he whispered as the two of them watched you walk over to the farm.

Your past and mine are parallel lines

Stars all aligned and they intertwined

And taught you

The way you call me, "Baby"

Treat me like a lady

All that I can say is

Ellie cringed at the memory of her asking you out.

If started with her following you to the farm. When she eventfully spotted you, Ellie tried her best to act non-chalet, but the universe wasn't on her side, as she was about to introduce herself she fell face first into a bunch of cow shit. She heard you laugh in the distance as you ran to her, asking her is she was ok. Instead of answering your question Ellie just said "my name is Ellie" and she gave you a shy smile as her face was full of shit. You let out a laugh and the rest was history.

Now here Ellie sat in front of you on one knee, holding a ring she spent months looking for.

With tears still streaming down your face you said "who would've thought I would end up with the cow shit girl"

all Ellie let out was a "shut up", as she grabbed your face for a kiss.

All of the girls you loved before (ooh)

Made you the one I've fallen for

Every dead-end street

Led you straight to me

Now you're all I need

I'm so thankful for

All of the girls you loved before

But I love you more

All the girls Ellie loved before, doesn't compare to you. Riley, Kat, Dina, none of them. Ellie thought she would never find love again after everyone of her relationships. She's thankful to all the girls she's been with, that taught her how to do things. That showed her pain. And that taught her love. Now she had you. She's thankful for Dina, and that night in the bar. If Dina wasn't dancing with you Ellie would've never saw you. Ellie thought she would end up alone, but there you were. You were the light in her darkness. And there were no words to describe how happy she was when said yes to her proposal.

She might've loved them before you, but she loves you more.

A grin was plastered on your face as you walked down the isle. Who would've thought you would find love. Who would've thought you'd end up getting married but here you are.

The pastor let a you may now kiss the bride and Ellie leaned in, her warm lips toughing yours. As your lips were locked it felt like there were fireworks exploding inside your stomach. Both you and Ellie smiled into the kiss, and when you both finally pulled away there were huge grins on both your faces. Ellie held your hand into the air as both your family and friends screamed with excitement.

This was the beginning of your fairytale.

Ellie was thankful to all the girls you've loved before because they made you who you are today. Her wife.

The two of you might've had other lovers before each other, but you both loved each other more

Authors note: Thank you for reading, i hope this makes up for the last post! Remember to always be kind and feel free to request anything! Stay tuned for my next story, it'll be posted Tuesday, and you better be ready because its a bumpy one!

Yours truly,

Zia:)

[vilevenom]

hurt comfort for fem branch please 😭

I hc her as autistic so maybe male poppy reassuring her

Ik u don't really care ABT the genders, but I'm heavy projecting on branch cause I kin him and I am DYING today

Thank you SO SO SO much for writing it if you decide to

HELLO ANON!

I am SO sorry that you sent this ask around a week ago and I'm only able to give you something now. I also hope I'm not posting this too late for you 😕 (This is the first night on my vacation I've managed to dig my laptop out) I wrote this pretty quick, and I didn't give it a good read over to properly edit it, but I hope you like it, and that you're doing okay ❤️❤️❤️ P.S-I'm not well verse in regards to austism, so I'm not super comfy writing it. I used my own experiences with overstimulation and sensory overload to write this

It had been…a day. An overwhelming, awful day. And it wasn't even close to being over yet.

Branch had woken up feeling like today wasn't necessarily going to be a bad day, but she knew it wasn't necessarily going to be a good day, either. Of course, that had been before she'd even gotten out of bed. Once she'd pushed herself up and threw her legs over the side, she'd near instantly knew the day was going to be a struggle. The floor was too cold under her feet, none of her clothes felt like they fit on her body quite right, every light was either too bright or too dark, and none of the food in her bunker was appetizing.

Things only got worse when Poppy showed up to drag her out for the morning music routine. She'd gone, of course. She couldn't let Poppy down. However, stepping outside had proven to be the worst decision she'd made yet. The sun was far too bright, and everyone in the village was so loud. And there were just so many trolls participating in the music number, it made her feel like she was in a teeny, tiny room, instead of out doors.

Thankfully, once the song was done and over with, she managed to sneak away quickly to catch her breath and recenter herself somewhat, before Poppy found her once again. She was invited to breakfast with the Snack Pack, which she felt obligated to accept, despite her negligible appetite. She thought, perhaps, she could get away with picking at a muffin while sitting next to Poppy so the King of Pop could direct and hold conversation without needing much, if any, input from her. Unfortunately, that was not to be the case, as Poppy kept prompting Branch to speak. It was exhausting.

Finally, once breakfast was over Branch thought she was at last free and clear. She bid farewell to the snack pack and tried to sneak away, but Poppy wasn't having any of it. He appeared in front of Branch just as she thought she had made it to safety.

"CUPCAKES! Poppy," Branch wheezed, patting at her chest as her heart felt like it was trying to escape her chest. To say that the surprise had also caused her irritation and irritability to spike was also an understatement. She scowled without thought at the pink troll, a low growl escaping her. "What is it?!"

Poppy looked distraught at Branch's anger, shrinking in on himself a little. "Sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I just wanted to know if you wanted to come with me while I go take care of some errands around the village before lunch with Nova Swift to talk about an upcoming fashion show."|

Branch immediately deflated at Poppy's apology, though she still felt like she might explode if prodded just the wrong way. "No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap," she sighed, rubbing at her forehead, "You know I would normally love to join you around town, but today I just-" She groaned and waved her hands through the air. "I don't know how to describe it. Today everything just feels like too much. I don't think I can handle any more…anyone."

Poppy blinked, obviously a bit surprised by Branch's response. Which was to be expected, really. What troll didn't like to socialize and make plans for big events? Branch knew, even after all the work she'd put in to being a better troll, she was still very much an odd one out.

"Oh," Poppy hummed, rubbing his hands together for a moment, before giving a little nod. "Okay."

It was Branch's turn to blink in surprise, not having expected Poppy to take her at face value so easily or quickly. "Wait…really? You're okay if I skip out on today?"

Poppy's face melted into a warm smile, offering a quick nod. "Of course, Branch. You've been doing so much around the village lately, you deserve a day to relax."

"Oh, thank you," Branch felt her shoulders slump as her chin fell to her chest. She heard Poppy chuckle and only jumped slightly when she felt his hand land on her shoulder.

"Of course! You know I just want you to be comfortable and happy."

"Thanks, Poppy," Branch hummed, offering Poppy a strained smile.

"Any time. Now, let's get you back to the bunker," Poppy said as he moved behind Branch to gently take her by the shoulders and direct her towards her bunker.

Everything seemed like it was going relatively well after that, and Branch shuffled towards her bunker with Poppy following shortly behind. That was, of course, until a random troll suddenly jumped from the bushes in front of them screaming about an impromptu dance party. Branch bristled as Poppy froze behind her and music erupted from every direction, while trolls hurried into the area to start dancing and singing along to the music.

Branch felt like her head was going to explode, quickly lifting her hands to her ears to try and block out some of the sound. She squeezed her eyes shut, a quiet whimper leaving her even as he breathing began to quicken, along with her heart beat. The world felt like it was closing in around her as she curled in on herself, crouching down and just barely resisting the urge to wrap herself protectively in her hair.

It took a solid minute for Branch to register hands on her shoulders again, let alone the fact that someone was even talking to her. She blinked a few times, feeling like she was clearing her vision of static until she could see Poppy crouched in front of her.

"Poppy?"

"There you are! C'mon, Branch. I'm going to get you out of here," Poppy said over the din of the other trolls in the area partying.

Branch simply nodded, watching in mild confusion as Poppy turned and gestured towards his back. "Up you get, come on," Poppy urged, finally making Branch realize that the King was offering her a piggy back ride. Sluggishly she moved, struggling to get her limbs to cooperate.

Once Branch was settled over Poppy's back with her face buried in bright pink hair, the King began to move quickly through the crowd, easily and effectively dodging around anyone that tried to get him to dance. Somehow, he managed to get away from the spontaneous party and got Branch back to the bunker. He didn't let her down, however, until the two were down the elevator and in Branch's living room. Carefully, he deposited her on her couch, quickly whisking away to fetch a glass of water, pressing it into her slightly shaky hands when he returned to her.

"You okay?"

Branch shook her head, feeling like her voice was stuck in her throat, unable to verbally respond.

"Okay. What would you like to help make you feel better?"

A quiet whine escaped Branch, her shoulders shifting up to her ears, eyes downcast, wishing she could force her voice to work, but nothing was forthcoming. She would love nothing more than to respond to Poppy, who was being so kind and caring, only to receive silence back.

After a beat Poppy snapped his fingers, causing Branch to jump and stare at him with wide eyes. "Oops," he laughed awkwardly, "Sorry. But, uh, how about we stick to yes or no questions? That way you can just nod or shake your head?"

Branch perked up and gave a little nod, a wobbly little smile making its way onto her face.

"Okay, perfect! Would you like a blanket?"

Branch thought for a moment, before giving a short nod. Poppy grinned and was off like a shot, returning not a minute later to carefully drape a thick, cozy blanket around Branch's shoulders. It took her a moment to recognize it was one of her favorites to snuggle up with. Poppy must have noticed one of the times he was over to hang out.

"All right! Now, you've got water already. And it's nice and quiet down here. Would you like company? And by company, I do just mean me," Poppy said with a little grin. Branch let out a near silent laugh, before nodding slightly, thought she frowned after a beat, opening her mouth, only to snap it shut again a moment later with a little look of concern on her face.

Poppy frowned, only to chuckled and move to sit next to Branch on the couch. "Oh, don't worry about the village. I'm sure they'll be fine without me."

Branch let out a breath, humming quietly with a nod, forever grateful that somehow Poppy could read her like an open book. She took a few tentative sips of her water before setting the glass aside, then turned a mild look of trepidation towards Poppy. It lasted for only a moment before she let out a huff of breath, a mild scowl of determination settling itself on her face. Poppy offered a lopsided, confused smile as Branch shifted around on the couch, tossing half of the blanket over Poppy's shoulders, before curling up next to his side.

"Oh," Poppy breathed, a slow grin working its way across his face, before he settled his arm around Branch's shoulders and tugged her more firmly into his side. "Yeah, you know I'm always good for cuddles," he sighed, resting his cheek against Branch's hair, more than pleased to feel her breathing even out where she was pressed against his side.

[little-peril-stories]

“Proud Of” Tag

Thank you so much @mysticstarlightduck for the tag! (Post here.)

Rules: Post a snippet you’ve written that you’re proud of and tag 5 people.

Gently tagging (no pressure): @cssndr, @writingphoenix, @tabswrites, @pleasestaywithmedarling + open tag ✨

I let this tag sit for a long time (since Feb 24, apparently!). I mean, there are lots of lil moments and snippets that I'm proud of. But there were so many that didn't feel quite right for this tag, for whatever reason.

But editing TPOT recently led me to this moment in Bree's head. It's from my *favourite TPOT chapter, a quiet moment amidst the chaos of the plot. One night for them to truly bond before reality comes crashing down again.

*yes I know my favourite changes all the time lol

I love it. I love it so much. I love Bree and her wistfulness, her eternal battle between hope and despair, between idealism and realism. I love this glimpse into her thoughts and her past. And, heck yeah, I love the way I wrote it. So, without further ado, here's my "proud of" moment.

“What about you? If it was your last day, what would you do?” I’ve never really given it much thought. The seasons of my life have all been so different, each one swollen with dreams and wishes but never ones that felt real, like they could ever come true. When Father was alive, I wished to be far away—to be somewhere he couldn’t find me and poison my life with his endless bitterness. Once he was dead, I wished only to be fed and sheltered and safe. When I joined IA, my wish was simple: to not get caught. Well, now I’m caught, and wishes seem to mean very little indeed.

The Prince of Thieves

[hyunlixsbbygirl]

♡︎ Our Little Secret

When Chan is left home alone one night, he finds himself reading fanfiction about his members and getting himself into a bit of a predicament. What's worse? One of his members catches him in the act.

──❥ pairing: bangchan x leeknow

──❥ length: 3.3k

──❥ warnings: 18+, idol au, smut, needy member, dirty talk, low key admiration

──❥ note: the characters don't represent real idols; this is a work of fiction intended for entertainment purposes only. this in no way represents nor reflects real life. this work has been cross posted to ao3 under the username thishippiekid.

© hyunlixbbygirl do not copy, translate or repost my works

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"Text me when you're on your way back. I mean it Changbin, if you forget again I will punish you somehow." The younger member pouted slightly but eventually gave in and agreed to text their leader when they were heading back home; the younger members of the group were all going to Got7's dorm for Mark's birthday. Chan had also been invited but since he was still getting over a small cold, he declined the offer playing it safe. "Yah, Jisung. Watch Felix's alcohol intake. The last thing I need is for him to wander off alone again." Jisung nodded and linked arms with his birthday twin before they all scrambled out of the door. Chan sighed heavily, while he was happy to finally have the dorm all to himself; he couldn't help but worry about his boys. "They'll be fine, they're adults. They can manage themselves without me." He attempted to calm himself with his own words but in reality, it just made him more worried. Shaking his head to rid himself of negative thoughts; Chan headed back to his bedroom thinking it might be nice to do an impromptu Channie's Room for Stay. 

Entering his bedroom Chan realized that it was far too messy to actually go live and he really didn't feel like going to the company to go live either; it was cold outside and the last thing he needed was for his cold to get worse right before comeback season. He needed a distraction though; anything would do at this point, he just didn't want to become the over worried leader and start harrassing the members in their group chat while they were having fun. Flopping down onto his bed, he placed his arms behind his head and stared at the ceiling; it wasn't often that he had the whole dorm to himself so he really didn't know what to do. He could play video games without worrying about being too loud when he inevitably lost, or he could work on producing some new music without having to use his headphones, or he could watch a movie while on FaceTime with his sister Hannah. 

Pulling out his phone, Chan decided to look through Twitter and see what Stays were up to; he clicked on the Stray Kids hashtag first and scrolled through all the edits that were recently posted. "Wow, these are really good. I wish I could reply to them all." he said out loud. He ended up saving a few of the edits to show the members later before clicking on his personal hashtag; his heart filling up with joy at all the sweet things Stays were saying about him. "Some day I'll get my own Twitter account and reply to you all my little Stays" clicking out of the app he hovered his thumb over his other apps wondering what to look at next; there was always TikTok but he really didn't find it all that interesting these days. As he pondered getting on Among Us or watching YouTube, he got a text from his sister and one of his best friends in Australia. 

Baby Brat: Yah stupid! Have you ever read fanfiction about your group? Brady Boy: Hannah just found one about you and Minho that you should totally check out!

Chan rolled his eyes, sighing heavily and debating on even texting them back. He knew the fans wrote fanfiction about them; occasionally he would come across a link on Twitter to one and check it out, the fans really had a talent for writing. Some of the stories they came up with were just incredible; like the one he last read where Stray Kids were a pack of wolves, whoever the writer was really knew how to write a great story. Thinking about that story made him curious; he went back onto Twitter and searched up the hashtage Stray Kids fanfic, but to his dismay, there weren't any links for new stories. He wasn't too sure on where else one could find fanfiction either, he always just clicked on the links that Twitter had but never paid attention to the website that was pulled up. 

Wolf Leader: I've read a few lol, found any good ones?  Brady Boy: Not really, just a few that I found on Twitter but I assume you've already read those.  Baby Brat: Just look on AO3 dummy *eye roll*

"AO3?" Chan asks out loud as if his sister could hear him from across the world. He opened up his phone's web browser to google and typed in 'AO3' the first link seeming like the right website but just to be sure he took a screen shot and sent it to his sister to confirm. Once she confirmed that the first link was indeed the website she was talking about; he clicked on it and registered himself. He made sure to use a pretty common user name so he could keep this a secret from fans and hopefully his members. Once he was finished, he clicked on the search button, thinking about what to actually search up; should he try just straight up Stray Kids or should he pick a specific ship? He honestly didn't know what ship he would even want to read about so he chose to just search Stray Kids. Approximately 47,000 stories popped up, each with their unique tags and story descriptions; "There's so many!" his eyes widening as he began to scroll down the first page, reading the brief descriptions of each before choosing one. 

It was titled 'Loving the Devil' and was centered around himself and Lee Know. The tags didn't contain anything concerning (though it did mention smut) so he clicked on the title and began reading. The story was set in the idol universe so it was more realistic than being set in a school setting or something. The beginning of the story was pretty mild and scarily accurate; describing how stressed the members were during comeback season and Chan of course wishing he could help his boys relieve their stress somehow. "Look at me always caring for my boys, even in fake scenarios." he smiled as he continued reading the story. 

About half way through the story, things really began to heat up; Chan got into a fight with Lee Know who ended up pushing him against a wall threatening to hit him. "Okay, Lee Know would never do that... at least not to me." his eyes becoming wide as he read further down the page realizing that instead of hitting him, Lee Know kissed him. A very detailed description of the two of them making out and stripping each other's clothes off made Chan's face heat up; partially from embarassment and partially out of lust. He unknowingly was being turned on reading a completely fake scenario that would never happen in real life about him and one of his members. He hadn't read that far into the smut scene when he had to put his phone down and take a deep breath; his heart was racing and his whole body was heated. 

When he felt himself calm down a little; he went back to reading. He knew it was probably a bad idea to continue reading something so hot and horny, especially when it involved one of his members but he couldn't force himself to click away. He licked his lips as he read about Lee Know pushing him down onto the bed, straddling his thighs and running his finger tips lightly over his abs; mental images coming into his mind as though he were watching a movie of himself and Lee Know. He felt himself growing hard in his shorts as he kept reading and imagining the things that were being described; if he was completely honest with himself, he did occasionally think about what would happen if he and another member did things like this. They were all touch deprived and in need of sexual release so it wasn't abnormal to think about doing it with the members. BamBam had once admitted that he and Yugyeom fooled around a few times and told Chan that he knew of other idol groups sleeping with each other too. 

The more he thought about sleeping with one of his members, the harder he became. His breathing coming out faster and unstable; body heating with lust and desire as he trailed his hand down his stomach to the aching bulge in his shorts. He palmed himself over the thick fabric slowly and teasingly; it wouldn't be bad to just relieve himself while imagining Lee Know going down on him right? He was completely alone after all, no one would ever know that he got himself off to a fanfic of him and Lee Know. Grunting slightly, Chan lifted his hips to slide his shorts and boxers off; discarding them on the floor next to his bed before pulling his blanket over his erection. He may be alone now but he was always cautious when it came to jacking off; always making sure he could abort the mission at the first sign of someone coming home. 

He continued to read the fanfiction as he wrapped his free hand around his cock and began pumping himself nice and slow, building up the pressure and getting fully hard before really giving himself a good stroke. Soft sighs dripped out of his mouth as the mental images danced around in his head; Lee Know on his knees with Chan's cock in his pretty mouth, the younger's tongue swirling around the angrily red tip before he took him fully into his mouth again. Chan was really getting into the story so he didn't hear the little chime of the front door unlocking or the sound of someone calling his name from the living room. The mysterious member padded down the hallway towards the elder's room, barely making a sound as he opened the door, "Hey hyung I..." 

Lee Know paused in the doorway, mouth hanging open and eyes wide in shock at what he just stumbled in on; Chan laying in bed, stroking himself underneath a blanket and in mid moan of his name. Chan threw his phone across the room, jumping at the sudden intrusion; lucky for him his phone landed on Felix's bed safely. "What are you doing here?!" the panic evident in the leader's voice as he tried to hide his erection from the younger despite already being caught. To the elder's surprise, Lee Know walked further into the bedroom; closing the door behind him and locking it "I got bored so I came back early" there was something hidden in the younger's voice that made Chan shiver. "I expected to find you filming Channie's Room, not thinking about me while getting off." Chan blushed deep, the blush spreading wide across his cheeks and up into his ears. 

"I have to admit, hearing you moan my name is pretty hot" Chan nearly whined at the younger's words; was this really happening? There was no way the exact person Chan had been imagining was now walking towards him seductively with the look of lust in his eyes. "So tell me, what inticed you to think about me?" Lee Know crawled up Chan from the bottom of the bed, never taking his eyes off the older's. "I was uh... r-reading." Lee Know smirked as he straddled the leader's thighs, his ass coming in complete contact with Chan's still hard erection. "Oh, a fanfiction I see. I didn't expect you of all the members to read through that stuff. I assumed you'd avoid it." he leaned down so that his breath ghosted against Chan's lips, it sent tingles up and down the older's spine. 

"I g-got curious... and Hannah m-mentioned it so I- I..." Chan's breath hitched and his back arched slightly off the bed, "So you looked for a story about you and I? Tell me, what were we doing in the story Channie?" He had to use every ounce of self control he had not to roll his hips upwards into the younger's ass; he was so painfully hard and needed to feel something to relieve the pressure. "We were... f-fighting and you pressed me against t-the wall. You were g-going to hit me but at the last m-minute you kissed me instead." Lee Know raised his eyebrows in intrigue, his eyes moving from Chan's eyes, down to his lips and back up again. "So the thought of me kissing you made you horny?" Lee Know brought his lips slightly closer to Chan's, letting a chuckle escape his throat when he saw the elder lift his head up in an attempt to feel thier lips against each other. 

"What else did I do to you?" the younger slipped his hands underneath the older's shirt and lightly traced his finger tips over his abs just like his character had in the story. Chan moaned and bucked his hips upwards, sucking in his breath when he finally got a little friction. "Y-you shoved me onto the bed and k-kissed your way down my stomach" the younger forced Chan to sit up so he could slid his shirt off before hungrily kissing him finally. Lee Know letting a moan of his own slip past his lips as he felt how needy his leader was for him; how the other hungrily kissed him back, licking over his bottom lip asking for permission to enter his mouth. The younger parted his lips; allowing the older to explore him, their tongues swirling around each other as their breathing became heavier and small moans and whines escaped them.

Lee Know broke the kiss to bring it down the older's jaw to his neck, biting and sucking the warm skin; Chan tilting his head to the side to give the younger more room. Lee Know was careful not to leave any visible marks but still biting and sucking hard enough to pull moans from the older. "How far did we go?" the younger brought his kisses down to Chan's collarbones as his fingertips rubbed against his nipples; the older shivered under the touch, finding it difficult to form the words he needed to say. "You... uh.. you... s-sucked me off."

The younger's mouth made its way down to Chan's left nipple, sucking the bud into his mouth until it was hard and sensitive before repeating his actions on the right; his hand wandering down to Chan's cock and palming him over the blanket. "So you imagined my mouth around your cock huh? Swirling my tongue around your sensitive tip?" Oh the younger was evil, he was being a tease on purpose and he knew exactly what he was doing. "P-please...Min" Chan begged, he was getting desperate for release. His stomach tight with the over flowing need to cum. 

Lee Know smirked as he kissed his way down Chan's abs until his mouth was hovering over his cock; moving the blanket, Chan felt the warm breath of the younger against him and shivered in need. "You're so needy hyung, look at how red your cock is. Leaking so much for me and I haven't even done anything yet" Chan whines, thrusting his hips up slightly to indicate that he was very needy indeed. Lee Know clicked his tongue before kitty licking the tip, eyes fixed on Chan's face as a wave of pleasure washed over it. "Oh g-god..." Chan moans, his eyes closed and head thrown back against the pillow as he finally gets what he was seeking. 

The younger licks all the way down Chan's shaft on one side and then up the other, smirking when the older squirms from the pleasure; "Do you want to fuck my mouth Channie? You want to watch me take your cock down my throat?" his voice becoming more seductive than before as he batted his eyelashes prettily. "T-that won't hurt you?" Lee Know shakes his head, "It wouldn't be the first time I had something in my mouth, though this is the first time sucking someone off." Chan didn't question this for long as he sat up, the younger slipping off the bed to his knees as Chan sat on the edge. 

Lee Know opened his mouth diligently as Chan slid his cock into his mouth; he was hesitant, he didn't want to hurt the younger especially since he was a singer and needed his throat to be okay. Lee Know sucked Chan deeper into his mouth, hallowing out his cheeks and closing his eyes as he moaned around him; the vibrations adding to the sensation causing Chan to moan louder than he did before. Slowly he built confidence and started thrusting his hips into the younger's mouth. Lee Know gladly sucked Chan all the way into his mouth, the tip of his cock hitting the back of his throat with every thrust. 

"F-fuck.. Min..." Chan was impressed that the younger was capable of something like this; he didn't even gag or choke when the back of his throat was abused over and over again. The younger simply moaned around him; his hands holding Chan's thighs for balance and stability as the older fucked his mouth at a medium pace. "I'm...c-close" Chan warned, the sensation proving to be too much for him last much longer. Lee Know sucked him harder, bobbing his head along with Chan's pace as he brought him closer to his release. 

Chan's stomach tightened and he felt tingles course through his body as his orgasm washed over him; squirming and shaking through his release as the younger swallowed his seed the best he could. Not having cum for months, there was a lot for him to swallow and he somehow managed to get every last drop. When Chan finally collapsed on the bed, Lee Know licked him clean before standing up admiring Chan's blissed out face and pants. "Better than imagining it huh hyung?" 

Chan nodded, not trusting his speaking abilities at the moment. Lee Know chuckled as he wiped his mouth with the collar of his shirt; he moved to sit on Felix's bed across from the older; a smile plastered on his face from helping his leader feel this amazing. "Want me to suck you off?" Chan suddenly asked, turning his head to look at the younger; his eyes still showing a hint of lust and need in them. "I... uh... well." Lee Know looked down at himself, Chan's eyes following noticing the slight discoloration of his jeans. "You came without being touched?" this time it was Lee Know that blushed.

"I couldn't help it, plus I haven't... you know for nearly a year." Chan reached out for Lee Know's hand, pulling him towards him. "You can always come to me when you need release. You helped me so it's only fair that I return the favor." he leaned into the younger, pressing their lips against each other. Both sighing out in pleasure and deepening the kiss before hearing the chime of the front door being unlocked; they pulled away unwillingly, Lee Know grabbing Chan's clothes and tossing them to him as he laid on Felix's bed acting like they were just talking the whole time. 

"Hey you two, have fun while we were gone?" Felix's voice echoed through the hall as his footsteps were heard; the door to the bedroom opening a few seconds later. "We were just talking about comeback season. If you wanna call that fun." Lee Know said in his typical tone of voice. The younger just nodded not noticing that despite being sucked off just moments ago, Chan was already hard again and that Lee Know was squeezing his legs together. "Well I'm going to sleep in Hyunjin's room tonight so I'll see you two in the morning." Felix said happily skipping off to the other's room. 

Lee Know looked at Chan and smirked, "Round two?" 

[pebblysand]

Is My Heart Still In It? (and further reflections ahead of the Page Pals Project)

Hey everyone, I hope that you're doing well. I am back in Ireland now, and just wanted to come on here to remind you of the castles re-read project that will be starting tomorrow (more info here if you want to join). I am very excited about this and look forward to receiving your thoughts and to talking about each chapter as we progress!

Additionally, as a lot of you also saw last week, I received a not-very-nice anon about chapter 21. At the outset, I want to state that my intention writing this isn't to revive the issue, or to stir shit up again. Anon apologised and even if they hadn't, they're allowed to think whatever they want to think. I know a lot of you were very upset on my behalf, and a lot of you DM-ed me last week, which was very kind, but I also think that anon was very well within their rights to have disliked the chapter. Word-vomiting it to my face probably wasn't the most productive way to go about this, and that was typical URL-badman behaviour, but it is a free country.

I haven't had a chance to re-read the chapter, but I also think it's pretty clear what this person disliked about it. There is a change of tone in chapter 21, and a change of pacing, that may have felt rushed to this person, which is probably why they didn't enjoy it. Again, that's not really the question, here.

I think the part of this anon that really stuck with me was the allegation that my heart wasn't "in it" anymore. Firstly, because at a very, face-value level, it's not true. I don't want to seem like I'm being full of myself, here, but I think it is pretty much acknowledged that I am someone who has a very strong work ethic. I spend hundreds of hours on each chapter, I edit, publish, edit after I publish, answer anons, answer comments - like, if there's one thing you cannot actually fault me on, it's the amount of dedication that I have put in this project. I can accept that maybe, when it comes to chapter 21 specifically, I did a little bit less editing than I usually do, which may have caused it to be a bit clunkier, but that was mostly because I was very keen on giving you a chapter before going on holiday, not because my heart wasn't "in it". My heart is in fact so "in it" that I wrote and published 43,000 words in less than a month, so stop it.

But also, on a different level, one that this anon probably didn't even anticipate, they were right. Because, I mentioned their message to my therapist, earlier this week, and said: "Do you think they can tell?"

To be fully transparent with you all, when it comes to castles, I've definitely had many moments of fluctuating motivation in the past four years. I think that when you are writing a story this size, for that much time, it's natural that you will experience ebbs and flows. The summers, I've noticed, have always been particularly hard. The summer of 2021, when everyone was coming at me about my characterisation and, afterwards, about the contents of chapter 8, made me want to give up more times than I can count. So much so that I didn't publish anything for six months after that. I can state very clearly that my heart was very much not in it, then. The summers of 2022 and 2023, when I basically wrote myself into the ground and burnt out by August because I was sleeping four hours a night for months, trying to manage writing and work, were also awful. Those who were here last summer will remember the post I wrote about how much I'd sacrificed for castles, and how much I considered giving up. My heart also wasn't in it, then.

By contrast, now, I'm feeling a lot better about this story. Its end is in sight and I'm so very proud of what I have achieved and what I have managed to pull through. I'm also about to embark onto writing a series of chapters that have literally existed in my head for years, and which I can't wait to share with you. Whilst I am a bit nervous about how the end will be received (which, again, is normal when you have poured that much of yourself into something), I can't wait to finally show you all where I was going with this. I'm so excited for us to finally be able to discuss Everything, and for this fic to be complete. I think that paradoxically when you look at what this anon was saying, I am on "high" when it comes to castles, at the moment. I am more motivated, and my heart is more "in it" than it has been for a long time.

So, why do I say that anon was also right? Well, because I'm grieving. Because like a parent who is watching their child age and move out for college, I'm watching this story edge closer and closer to being finished with a mixture of joy and pride, and grief. I've always felt that once a chapter is published, and once a story is finished, it no longer belongs to me, it belongs to the readers. And, right now, there are only three chapters left, which are my own. Soon, this story will have grown up into its own thing and it will belong to the people who read it for as long as there is a Harry Potter fandom, for as long as the internet exists, but it will no longer be just mine. And, so, when I say "Do you think they can tell?" I mean that. Can they tell in my words on the page that I'm saying goodbye, too? That maybe I am slowly trying to distance my heart from this thing that I've built little by little, because I'm hoping that the grief will hurt just a little bit less, when the time comes?

I love this story so much. I know that it means a lot to a lot of you, and I don't mean to diminish that reader experience in any way, but it means a lot to me, too. Probably in a very different way. This story has been my refuge, my baby, my best friend, my enemy, my lifeline, for four years now. And, I love the community it has brought together, stupid anons included, so I worry. About what it'll be like not having that. About whether people will be interested in my writing in the future. About the possibility that I might never experience this level of connection again. And, so, of course, I am happy and keen, and so excited to finish and share this with you. Also, I'm not going to lie, I'm very much looking forward to getting some of my free time back (haha) for the first time in years. But, I'm also grieving. And, maybe, like this anon accidentally suggested, you might be able to tell in my words, or you might not. Either way, I'm telling you: my heart is very much in it. It's just - learning to say goodbye.

So: join me on the re-read, starting tomorrow. Join me as I say goodbye. And, I can't say I won't cry, but I hope we'll all get where we need to be in the end. ❤️

[bloodied-dagger]

some song recs based off lyrics

@rainbowangel110 has asked, so I shall deliver

did I spend entirely way too much time on this? Yes. Was it worth it? Probably not. Did I have to add the lyrics I related to the most for every single song? No, but rainbow specifically mentioned the lyric posting and it's fun soooooo (anyways it's 4:30 AM over here so. if you see any mistakes, no you didn't. I'll edit this in the morning so it won't have any)

Complete list without the commentary is at the bottom. List is in a Song Title - Artist format

Alternative

“Alternative” is being very loosely used here, there will be other genres mixed in here. Also, there is no particular order for this bit

I Will Wait - Mumford & Sons This is probably the most country song you'll ever get out of me, right next to the Nickleback song I've got in there

'Cause I will wait I will wait for you And I will wait I will wait for you

BREATHING UNDERWATER - Hot Milk This is very alt-rock emo of me, sorry rainbow

I tried breathing underwater to drown out the doubt Cracked under the pressure and nearly bled out You said you'd always save me - so where are you now? Feels like I'm failing, I'm dancing while drowning alone

Bells - The Unlikely Candidates Honestly I don't really care about the lyrics for this one, I just think I should throw something a bit more mellow after that last one and it's a good song so

And where we go, nobody knows Those bells are ringing, ringing loud Oh lord, we're going down - six underground Those bells are ringing, ringing loud

Razzmatazz - I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME Once again I throw a song in for the vibes and not the lyrics. Sue me

And now, well Some things just cannot be fixed With sparkled tongues and politics In a fascist little paradox, we all become anonymous

Rule #11 - My Dream, My Addiction - Fish in a Birdcage Okay, last one I'm adding for the vibes- for now

I, I've never seen a storm this fierce I, am feelin' rather small in here As the walls start to compress Shifting, squirming, restlessness

For You - Loveless Alright now here's a song I'm adding for the lyrics. It's also more on the rock song but it's not that heavy I don't think (maybe minus the bridge where it goes all heavy metal baseline for 8 or so bars)

Wasted my time Why would I ever waste another line on you, you? Crossing the line Why would I ever tell another lie for you, you?

Apologies - acloudyskye You must be something else if you thought we were getting out of this list without a skye song in here. This one isn't going to be everyone's cup of tea bc it's electronic but I like it so

I often think about their lives A fault in me I can't deny And in the end I won't even think So, apologies for all these things

Broken Zipper - Group Project You know I had to put a gp song on here somewhere. This one's def a more feel good song, also one I use to call myself out on with when I'm getting pissed about the little things Although it is a love song about crushing on your best friends sister or something? Whatever

You spend one week's worth of pay on your night out Wrote in pen and ran out of white out Lost your shades and it's much too bright out But who the fuck cares when you're breathing fine right now?

Could've Been Me - The Struts This song has made me cry, and that's an achievement when it's as upbeat of a song as it is

I wanna live better days Don't want to look back and say "It could've been me It could've been me"

Playing Dead - VIOLÀ Came because the song is an emo banger, stayed because I related to it a little while later. This one's also very rock, but I have to have a few in here

But if this is the last time I say sorry Then I'll take it back, 'cause I don't mean it You are the cancer in my body I'm done playing dead 'cause I still feel it

Through the Ghost - Shinedown No idea what living "through the ghost" means but it sounds poetic as hell

Speak of the devil, Look who just walked into the room The guilty invaded notion Of someone I once knew

Reason for Living - Morgan Page This song is actually for the beat saber soundtrack, and so is the next one. Naturally, it's on the more electronic/dance side of things but some of the lyrics are Big Mood™ so

'Cause I don't even sleep no more these days No such thing as staying up too late And nobody's at home waiting for me I'm staying up on a feeling - it's the reason for living

Heavy Weight (feat. Beat Saber) - Lindsey Stirling The fact that beat saber can get lindsey-fucking-stirling on a song is kind of crazy to me. Like. What

Heavy weight Feel it in my past mistakes But I think I've carried them For way too long

Inertia - AJR The shortest songname - artistname on this whole list, probably because it's competition is an artist who's name is abbreviated to IDKHBTFM. Anyway, when this came out I fucking Felt It hearing these words for the first time, and they still hit me the same way (maybe even more effectively than before)

An object in motion Don't ask where I'm going 'Cause where I am going is right where I am (Oh man!)

Alma Mater - Group Project This song reminds me of good times. Maybe not better times, but good ones that're long gone now.

I said "Hey, Why we always end up staying out late, Staying out late?"

It's a love song but I'm 100% not focused on that at all /gen

(Sad, yet) Impactful

Little commentary, songs in order of how impactful each of them are in my opinion (top = least, bottom = most) Also a good portion of these are probably heartbreak songs or smth but I'm pretending they're not like an aromantic would

Cellphone - Promoting Sounds & Nate Kest

It's getting late, I sipped too much Look at me strange, I'll be too blunt I'm easy to hate; I'm hard to love But you love me anyway - or is it lust?

I Won't Beg for You - Chri$tian Gate$

'Cause I won't beg for you, my dear These knees have bled, pulled out my hair Didn't know you tried to burn us down Even when we tried to work it out

Call Me - Shinedown

I finally put it all together But nothing really lasts forever I had to make a choice that was not mine I had to say goodbye for the last time

By The Way - Theory of a Deadman I usually listen to the "(Acoustic) [Bonus Track]" version of this song when I'm sad. figured that was worth mentioning so it isn't out of place (a hard rock song in the middle of a slower song list)

By the way You left without saying goodbye to me Now that you're gone, away All I can think about is you and me, you and me

Rayleigh Scattering - acloudyskye

And if it gets better It's taking forever And what's with this weather? It's not getting better

Before You Go - Lewis Capaldi

So Before you go Was there something I could've said to make it all feel better? If only I had known you had a storm to weather

Landing In London - 3 Doors Down

And when the night comes in around me And I don't think I'll make it through I'll use your light to guide my way 'Cause all I think about is you

Ashes of Eden - Breaking Benjamin

Are you with me after all? Why can't I hear you? Are you with me through it all? Then why can't I feel you?

To Build a Home - Grace Page

And I built a home For me, for you Until it disappeared From me, from you And now, it's time to leave and turn to dust...

Better Than Me - Bohnes

'Cause I Know that you Deserve better than me Better than me, yeah

My Body Is a Cage - Peter Gabriel This one's only here because of that full orchestra impact moment honestly

I'm standing on a stage Of fear and self doubt It's a hollow play But they'll clap anyway

No Time To Die - Billie Eilish

I should've known That I'd leave alone Just goes to show That the blood you bleed is just the blood you owe

My Immortal - Effervescent

These wounds won't seem to heal This pain is just too real There's just too much that time cannot erase

Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol

If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me And just forget the world?

Somewhere Out There - acloudyskye

It's over Oh, and under Under we go So far below

Full list, no commentary:

Alternative

I Will Wait - Mumford & Sons

BREATHING UNDERWATER - Hot Milk

Bells - The Unlikely Candidates

Razzmatazz - I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME

Rule #11 - My Dream, My Addiction - Fish in a Birdcage

For You - Loveless

Apologies - acloudyskye

Broken Zipper - Group Project

Could've been me - The Struts

Playing Dead - VIOLÀ

Through the Ghost - Shinedown

Reason for Living - Morgan Page

Heavy Weight (feat. Beat Saber) - Lindsey Stirling

Inertia - AJR

Alma Mater - Group Project

Impactful

Cellphone - Promoting Sounds & Nate Kest

I Won't Beg For You - Chri$tian Gate$

Call Me - Shinedown

By The Way (Acoustic) [Bonus Track] - Theory of a Deadman

Rayleigh Scattering - acloudyskye

Before you go - Lewis Capaldi

Landing in London - 3 Doors Down

Ashes of Eden - Breaking Benjamin

To Build a Home - Grace Page

Better Than me - Bhones

My Body Is a Cage - Gabe Peters

No Time to Die - Billie Eilish

My Immortal - Effervescent

Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol

Somewhere Out There - acloudyskye

[rcmclachlan]

20 questions for fic writers

Tagged by @microcomets. Thanks, friendo!

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

71 currently. I've orphaned a bunch, though.

2. What's your total Ao3 word count?

526,242

3. What fandoms do you write for?

These days I write for whichever fandom strikes my fancy—it might be a new one, or it might be one that I fall back into every so often. My most recent fics have been a mix of new (Beyond Evil, Good Omens, Loki) and old (Cardcaptor Sakura).

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Long Live The King (DBZ, bulma/vegeta)

Stopgap (Good Omens, crowley/aziraphale)

100 Zeni (DBZ, trunks/goten, bulma/vegeta)

Named (Supernatural, dean/castiel)

Solve for X (MCU, tony/loki)

5. Do you respond to comments?

I've gotten better at this! I now make sure to reply to every comment on my newer works (sometimes it's a bit overwhelming, but I think the effort is worth it).

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably Oneiori. Like, Cas gets a happy-ish ending, but it's not going to last. Womp womp.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

These days, I try to end all my fics on a happy note! The happiest that comes to mind is Heritage Site.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I think I've gotten hate maybe twice since I started posting to AO3 in 2010? That's statistically negligible, which is kind of amazing!

9. Do you write smut?

Not often. I don't mind writing it, but it really needs to serve a purpose to the story for me to make the effort.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you have written?

Nah, not really my thing.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of, but I've had a fic's summary stolen! That was a trip.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! I'm floored people like my work enough to put that kind of time and effort into translating it!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope. I tried, but it ultimately didn't work out (mostly due to writer's block and scheduling issues).

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

This is like asking me which of my children I love more. It'd take me a month to answer this question and I'd need someone at CERN to check my work.

I will say Kakashi/Iruka is my most enduring fave; I started reading them in 2005 and fall back into them every 3 or so years. I'm currently in a kakairu cycle (as if y'all couldn't tell).

15. What is a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Speaking of Kakashi/Iruka.... Hadopelagia. It was just far too big in scope for me to even think about finishing. I think I frightened myself out of it! For the best, though. I re-read it the other night and it's a MESS. This is why betas are so important, kids.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I've gotten a lot of comments about how I use metaphor effectively, as well as comedy. I don't think I'm particularly funny compared to other writers, but it always fills me with joy when someone mentions my dumb sense of humor.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Definitely smut. There's nothing worse than trying to keep track of where everyone's legs are.

Me: "I used the word 'cock' fourteen times in this paragraph......... well, maybe no one will notice."

18. Thoughts of writing dialogue in another language in fics?

I've done it! Named had a whole scene written in Spanish (I tried my hand at it and then had a native speaker edit it). I think when done well, it adds something really meaningful to a story.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

The first fanfic I ever wrote was before I even knew what fanfiction was. It was an Animorphs self-insert fic and I wrote it on a legal pad at my grandparents' house in like 1997. The first fandom I officially posted fic for was Fruits Basket in 2003, followed by QAF in 2004.

20. Favorite fic you have written?

Probably A Twist of the Knife. I had an absolute blast writing Nie Huaisang, and I'm really proud of the story as a whole (which is rare for me).

Tagging: @sonatine, @lemonistas, @stitchyblogs, @dadvans, @ataraxetta, @nandalorian, and anyone else who wants to get in on the action. :-D

[bookishtheaterlover7]

Booky, you’re such a sweet person. I know it’s probably hard for you to be a fan and see stuff that annoys you, but remember that it’s probably happening to other fans with celebs they like.

Those poor Henry Cavill fans - though I don’t even think his gf is that bad. Lol.

And as for the Jeff Conway person…

lol. First of all he’s very very cringe. I’ve rarely seen an interviewer editor be this thirsty to repost his own articles and also be so unbelievably tacky as a grown man. But hey.

That being said, he was the one who wrote the Forbes article for Chris and his jinx thing at the end of December, right?

He was also one of the writers who wrote a people article of them going public. Somebody should check back those archives because I’m almost positive Jeff started following fish the night before or around the time they went public.

He also interviewed Chris the day Chris said his long term partner was his dog 🤣 - I wonder if he told Chris that 😭 and gave him a very cringey shirt “my dog is my soulmate.” A grown ass man.. giving another grown ass man a shirt like that. And then repeatedly bragging about it on twitter. How is he not embarrassed by himself?? (Jeff)

My personal thought is he goes where he has an assignment. I sometimes have to write really cringe social posts for work but thankfully they’re not attached to my name. He was probably instructed to hype her up because tbh, I still believe they’re trying to make her happen.

Think about how the kardashians, TikTok influencers, and other random ass “Celebs” pop up and start being placed everywhere and nobody is asking for them and the comments are filled with hate. But do these outlets ever stop? Really think about it. Step back from the fishbowl and observe the other industry ppl who have basically been shoved into our faces without our desire. I think the media knows Fish is DOA but she’s here and unfortunately here to stay for awhile. I think people can and will continue to ignore her so that’ll be pretty funny to watch.

I’m also sure fish wasn’t rude to Jeff because I doubt she’s like openly a rude person. I’m not trying to defend her because I know people on here will feel how they feel about this girl, but she’s not going to be a brat to everyone just because people want to hate her. I do think it’s interesting that post had Jeff hyping her up and then just mentioning Chris was also there. As if he’s her plus one and not the other way around.

I feel like she’s getting way too much attention for being virtually nothing and a nobody. The general public simply does not care about her.

I think someone just posted up TMZ posting celebs at the parties and they posted Chris alone and cropped her out. If true, LOLLLLLL TMZ 😂

Just Jared has written at least 600 articles at this point and they’re still getting her name wrong.

By the way, in my line of work, we have to proofread our articles before submitting them to post. So does every single outlet just accidentally miss fish’s last name?????

I’m starting to feel like it’s intentional.

🥹 Thank you, Marketing An🫶n!

It must suck for everyone, but it's good to know that what I'm feeling is definitely not just me. Makes me feel less crazy. 🙂

Good Lord, Jeff seems to be overselling and overdoing it, a little. But, as you said, it's a thing that needs to be done.

And you've got a point about celebs we DIDN'T ask for, just popping up. And it causes quite a stir. Which is effective for their reasons.

No, they do not. Hell, she's simply known as Chris Evans' wife. No more, no less. Imagine that as your only title. It's sad.

I hope it's intentional, because that's too many typos, and almost (I'm assuming they did this at least once) zero edits... 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Thanks for talking with me, Marketing An🫶n. It's really a highlight everytime you're here. So thank you ❤️ and it seriously means a whole lot. 🥰🥹

Until the next one...