#I’VE SPENT ALL DAY TRYING TO GET IT FINISHED BUT NOOO

[k00ldino]

slamming my head against a brick wall WHYYYY WON’T IT LET ME FILL OUT THE FAFSA WHY WHY WHY WHY

[ellewriteswrongs]

picking favorites (a @tsbandau drabble)

if y’all aren’t emotionally invested in @underdog-arts ‘s band au, idk what y’all are even doing /j

anyway, here’s a wholesome family drabble insp. by the band au and my (not-so) subtle obsession with remus and janus. also subbing to their patreon is the best $5 i’ve probably ever spent, no joke

“Honey, you can still pick up Ry, right?” Janus called down the hallway, carrying a basket of laundry on each hip before depositing them in the hallway to put away later. Remus was seated in their shared office catching up on emails as Janus began packing up leftover pasta into containers to take to their show scheduled that night. 

“I told you I got ‘em,” he agreed, banging the last clumps of his protein shake into his mouth with the heel of his hand. “I’m gonna’ jog to V’s and grab the van.”

Janus nodded to themself out of instinct before faltering, their brow furrowing. 

“Wait—Re, that’s like three miles,” they challenged, dumping the dirtied dishes into the sink. “Just take the fucking car.”

Remus’ snort laugh was audible from down the hallway. 

“They asked for the van!” Remus cackled. “And I, for one, do not disappoint. Apparently making my kid’s friends think they’re cool is worth a three-mile jog.”

Janus rolled their eyes, albeit fondly. This was, unfortunately, not news. 

Riley was having an…interesting phase. It wouldn’t be abnormal for kids their age if it weren’t for the fact that their parents were ridiculously competitive, and all of their parents’ friends were eager to get in on it. 

As soon as Remus attended career day in Riley’s first grade classroom, resulting in the entire class of six-year-olds marveling at the fact that their friend’s dad was a “rock star.”

Janus loved that conversation over dinner that night. 

They weren’t jealous. No, in fact, it was probably overdue for Riley to have a bit of a “Daddy’s kid” phase, considering how joined at the hip they were with Janus for multiple years now. But they wanted to win. 

Riley could make their own decisions about picking a favorite parent. As long as that decision was Janus. 

“You’ve gone so-oft,” they sing-songed, smirking as Remus appeared in the kitchen behind them, wrapping one hand around their hip and pressing a kiss to their temple. “Ry’s got you wrapped around their finger.”

Remus have a flash of his crooked grin. 

“Yeah, well…at least I know where they get that from.”

Janus rolled their eyes, trying to hide their reddening face. 

“Sap,” they grumbled fondly. “Hurry up and get on with your run before you’re late to pickup. And tell V I said hey.”

Remus gave an exasperated chuckle and affirmation, but pocketed his keys and wallet nonetheless. 

The jog to Virgil’s apartment wasn’t a particularly strenuous three miles, being downtown and all, and Remus was far from out of shape. Still, three miles was three miles—especially in the late afternoon sun. Needless to say, Virgil wasn’t thrilled to have a giant sweaty man on his doorstep, but he handed over the keys nonetheless. 

The van was old, still clinging to its axels from when Remus himself purchased it from an old neighbor and declared it the band’s “tour bus.” It was nice enough at the time, especially for the price he paid, but it certainly wasn’t still around for anything more than sentimental value. 

Mainly just Remus refusing to get rid of it. 

That, and the fact that, for whatever reason, Riley thought it was the coolest thing ever. 

The drive wasn’t long, only the sitting in traffic of other parents in minivans trying to get into the school parking lot. He…wasn’t a fan of that part of being a parent, that’s for sure. He could do without any other parents, thank you very much, but at least it was fun to see how obvious all of them were in their distaste of both him and Janus, compared to how much their kid absolutely adored them. 

A fact that was only proven when Remus eventually made it to the parking lot and exited his van, only to be met with ear-splitting squeal of “daddy!” and an armful of six-year-old. 

He can’t deny how, even after all these years, the title still makes him feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Like…he is a dad. That’s his kid! How fucking rad is that!

He happens to spot a few other parents, along with some of Riley’s friends that he recognizes, and he offers a quick wave with the hand that isn’t mussing up his kid’s hair. 

“You brought the van,” Riley points out with a toothy grin that Remus can’t help mirroring. He can’t help the knot in his throat when he spots the gap in their teeth from their first ever lost tooth—which only meant they were getting much too old and Remus would really appreciate it if they would slow the fuck down.

“I told you I would, didn’t I?” Riley nods, bouncing on Remus’ hip just a bit out of excitement. “I gotta’ warn you though, JJ’s getting pretty jealous.”

Riley laughs before sticking out their tongue and making a fart noise in Remus’s face. 

Remus is, for the thousandth time, bewildered at how Riley couldn’t possibly be more like Janus if they tried. And mostly smitten. He has the coolest kid on Earth, after all. 

“They can suck my butt!” Riley squeals and Jesus Christ, Remus is going to have a heart attack right there in the parking lot. He’s gonna’ have to grill Jan again to make sure those two aren’t secretly biologically related. 

“Hey, your words not mine, squirt,” he smirks, opening the van door and strapping them into the car seat. “And your early bedtime if you let JJ hear any of that.”

He finishes with a pinch on their nose before closing the van door and getting back in the driver’s seat. 

Riley, as soon as the radio turn on, starts protesting very aggressively to listen to “your songs, daddy! Play your songs!” 

Thankfully, he has a CD burned with some of their…cleaner songs for that exact purpose. 

Riley, for lack of a better word, was ‘singing’ along at a volume that Remus would’ve otherwise found hilarious and impressive if it wasn’t right in his ear. Still, there was a certain fondness that came with watching his kid’s excitement over his work—something that, as usual, was paired with thrashing within the confines of a car seat and headbanging their little heart out. 

Along the drive Remus made every attempt to stop the barrage of the screamo singer in the making, but all were ultimately unsuccessful. At least…until he pointed out one particular building out of a strip mall assortment. 

“Hey, you see that store right there? The one with the red sign?” He spoke up, catching Riley’s eager attention in an instant. They placed both hands on the van window to look out. 

“What is it?” They asked, squinting to try and read what was on the sign. 

“You know the snake on my leg?” Riley nodded, quieting down. “That’s where JJ took me to get it.”

They paused, seemingly putting some pieces together in their head.

“How come you only have one?” They asked, still kicking their legs against their seat. “JJ has lots, how come you don’t have lots too?”

Remus chuckled, continuing along the road as the light turned green. 

“‘Cause I don’t need another one. They’re very expensive, you know.”

“Is it ‘cause you’re a wimp?” 

Remus choked on his own spit. 

“N-no,” he choked out, laughing. “No I’m not, I just think it looks better this way.”

He didn’t bother looking into the backseat to see what Riley thought of that answer, but if the return to karaoke that followed was any indication, they were not impressed. Still, he’d probably take the teasing over the screaming, but kids are kids. 

Even as they pulled into their driveway, Remus had to strategically dodge Riley’s flailing limbs in order to un-fasten the seatbelts on their car seat and actually get them in the house. Apparently the music was not as vital to the ‘sing-along’ as he’d hoped it was when he turned the car off. 

“Alright, alright, calm those legs down before you knock my teeth out, will ya’?” Remus teased, placing Riley on his shoulders where they instantly took fistfuls of his hair to hold on. Riley toned down the velocity, but otherwise did not stop. “Careful, squirt, if you wanna’ kick so bad, I’m signing you up to play soccer.”

Riley stopped almost instantaneously, gripping Remus’ hair even tighter as they headed back inside the house, Riley’s tiny backpack slung around Remus’ forearm. 

“Nooo,” they wailed, half punctuated by laughter that echoed through the house. 

“What are we complaining about?” Janus spoke, leaning against the doorway across the room with a fond smile. 

“He said if I kick him in the teeth I have to play soccer,” Riley whined, attempting to climb down from Remus’ shoulders on their own. Janus snorted a laugh before swiftly crossing the room to collect their child and place them on their hip. 

“Wow, your daddy’s so mean,” Janus agreed, raising a challenging eyebrow as they stood in front of their husband. Remus pouted before bending down to steal a kiss.

“Gross,” Riley giggled, pressing a hand on each of their parents’ faces to separate them. 

“Gross?” Janus smirked. “Well in that case, maybe your dad was being a bit unfair.”

Riley turned to Remus to stick out their tongue at him. 

“I mean, soccer? That’s just ridiculous,” Janus continued, a mischievous glint in their eyes. “We’ll obviously have to sign you up for football instead. A punt like that has got to be put to good use.”

Riley immediately went back to their dramatized complaining, this time reaching desperately for Remus to get him to take them back from Janus—to which Remus just held up his hands in mock innocence.

“No can do, kid,” he smirked. “The punishment has to fit the crime, after all.”

Riley continued their attempts to wiggle out of Janus’ unyielding grip.

“Never!” They declared, trying a different approach of reaching over Janus’ shoulder to escape from behind. “I won’t! I won’t do it, I promise!”

Remus and Janus both knew they wouldn’t actively try to hurt either of them, but sometimes it was just more fun to assert rules when it came with shrieking laughter and climbing their parents like a jungle gym.

“Well, now you know where we stand,” Remus spoke in false authority, reaching for one of Riley’s tiny shoes and holding it up to address it as if it were in control of their legs. “I better not see you around these parts again, ya’ hear?” He added in an over-the-top western accent, gesturing to his face. 

Riley squealed with laughter as he held out his hand for a handshake and they shook it with their accused foot. 

“Alright, alright, you two,” Janus intervened with fond exasperation. “Snacks are on the counter, take it or leave it.”

Riley whipped their head around to peer into the kitchen, cheering when they spotted two plates on the kitchen counter, each with a toaster waffle piled high with blueberries. 

“Second…breakfast!” They cheered, drumroll-ing on their leg before whooping and slinking out of Janus’ grip and climbing up onto the kitchen barstools. Remus, giving a fond eye-roll at the enthusiasm, turned to drape his arms over Janus’ shoulders from behind, perching his chin on top of their head. 

“They get it from you, you know,” he mumbled, smirking at the scoff it earned him. 

“Shut up,” Janus grumbled, the smile evident in their voice. “That is all you.”

“Babe, sports are a threat in this house,” he teased. “You’re telling me that came from me?”

“Yeah, I’ll take that one,” they chided, turning around to face their husband. “As long as you’re aware that the energy, the volume—honey, that’s all you.”

Remus quirked his brow with a proud smirk. 

“Or maybe it’s the fact that they sleep for fourteen hours and we haven’t even had eight in the last six years,” he challenged knowingly. “You know, I happen to remember that back in the day…that bed was hardly even for sleeping.”

Janus snorted, their face reddening slightly.

“Is it bad to think of those as the ‘good old days’ already?”

Remus swept a piece of their hair out of their face. 

“Hell no, dude. We lived like kings back then,” he chuckled. “How ‘bout this—I’ll get Ro to take ‘em to the park or something this weekend and I’ll dick you down just like old times, ‘kay?”

Janus sputtered out a cackle, smacking Remus on the chest before covering his mouth with their hand.

“Fucking christ, they’re like two yards away,” they hissed, still laughing. “I am not going to be the one fielding questions about what getting dicked down means, oh my god.”

“You say that like they listen to anything when there’s food in front of them,” Remus countered, nodding in the direction of their kid as Janus rolled their eyes with a chuckle. 

“Now that, is from you,” they grinned, jabbing him in the side with their elbow. 

“Hey, it’s not my fault you’re serving up delicacies like toaster waffles,” Remus said, raising his hands in mock defense. 

Janus gave him a look before crossing their arms. 

“Yeah, well, you’re lucky I know you can’t go two hours without food. Go on, there’s one for you, even if it’s probably cold by now,” they teased as Remus excitedly kissed their forehead before practically running to the kitchen. He hopped up to sit on the counter, folding each toaster waffle like a blueberry-filled taco before funneling them into his mouth. 

Janus followed close behind—at a normal pace, thank you very much—and took the actual seat next to their kid, sipping at the cup of tea they had left on the counter before the two had returned home as they listened to Riley regaling their day at school.

———

Realistically, Remus probably should’ve seen it coming. He was a couple days past his previous record of days as Riley’s “favorite” and he knew he likely didn’t have much longer before Janus dethroned him again, but he certainly hadn’t expected the scene he walked in on that night. 

He had heard hushed laughter coming from one of their house’s bathrooms that evening, assuming at first that Janus was just handling Riley’s bath or something like that, but as he cleaned up the mess from their dinner and finished washing the rest of their dishes, he was surprised to find they were still in there. So obviously he had to investigate. 

He knocked on the door, rolling his eyes fondly as shushing and giggles came from within. 

“Everything good in there?” He teased, leaning against the door. “I gotta’ say, I’m a little hurt I didn’t get invited to whatever club this is that hangs out in the bathroom.”

More giggles followed by the oh-so familiar sound of Janus’ shushing. 

“I guess I’ll just have to find out for myself what all the fuss is about,” he sing-songed, slowly creaking open the door before letting out a snort laugh at the scene before him. 

Janus was seated on the edge of the bathtub, wash cloth in hand, as Riley sat on the sink counter, covered on all limbs with temporary tattoos. At least the pieces of tape that Janus had cut into circles and colored black to look like ear gauges were admittedly cute. 

“Oh, I see how it is,” he smirked from against the doorframe. 

“JJ said you’re a wimp,” Riley proudly announced. “I was right.”

Janus stuck their tongue out and made a spitting noise and…yeah, that was their kid alright. Not that Remus would have it any other way. 

[queenxxxsupreme]

dad!Witchers and Tantrums

A/N: I’ve been working on this for a while now, it was an idea brought on by a conversation with @plumbits and @sometimesiwrite helped me finish it!! Thank you babe for all your help <3

Warnings: kids throwing tantrums??, crying kids??, I don’t know that there are many warnings in here, it’s just fluffy dad content

***

Lambert

You pushed the door to your house open, hurrying to close it behind you so you could see what it was Eva was crying about. You could hear her wails as you drew closer to the house and you were worried. 

You found Lambert sitting at the kitchen table. One of the dining chairs was on top of the table and he seemed to be fixing it. Eva was laying on the floor next to him, crying and screaming at the top of her lungs. 

“What is going on?” You asked, placing the basket containing things from the market down on the end of the table. 

“She wanted to hang on the table and I told her no cause she’d get hurt pulling the tablecloth and everything on the table off on to herself. Then she threw herself onto the floor.” He explained, eyes flickering up to meet yours. “Since she’s occupying herself with sounding like a banshee, I figured I’d get a few things done.” He gestured to the chair. “Geralt broke this chair last time he was over. So I’m fixing it.”

You looked down at Eva for a moment, feeling the need to pick her up and comfort her, but you knew she needed to learn that there were some things she couldn’t do and throwing a tantrum over being told no wasn’t the right thing to do.

“Mommy!” Eva sat up when she realized you were there. “Daddy-Daddy is a big meanie!”

“Oh, love. He just told you not to hang on the side of the table. We don’t want it falling down on you.” You gave her an apologetic smile, then moved to unload the woven basket of items from the market. 

“He’s a big meanie and he made me cry!” She stood up moved to you, her hands over her eyes as she cried. She put her face into your skirt, little hands leaving her face to fist the soft material of your skirt. 

“That’s me.” Lambert let out a breath as he stood up. He lifted the now fixed chair off of the table and set it down. “Big meanie witcher. Been making kids cry since my days at Kaer Morhen.”

“Lambert.” You narrowed your eyes at him. 

He snickered, finding himself funny. 

“Eva, you should apologize to your father for calling him a big meanie.” You told her, reaching down to brush your fingers through her hair. 

“No! He deserves it!”

You moved away from her to put the groceries up. 

She cried for a few minutes, looking from you to Lambert. She was waiting for one of you two pay attention to her. 

Since you were busy with groceries and Lambert was sitting down messing with a dagger, she decided to go to him. He was more her level and thus, easier to get the attention of. 

“Daddy!” She wailed. 

He put the dagger on the table and caught her just as she was throwing herself into his lap. 

“You can’t throw a tantrum whenever you want, sweetheart.” He told her, patting her back carefully. She buried her nose in his neck, little arms wrapping around him as much as possible. 

Lambert made a gagging nose. You looked over to him, confused. 

“What?”

“She’s all snotty and gross.” He whispered so she wouldn’t hear him. 

Eskel 

“Come on, daddy!” Nadia tugged at Eskel’s hand, doing her best to rush him through the busy streets or the market. 

Her hand slipped from Eskel’s grip and she made it about five paces away from the witcher before she barreled into a woman. The woman stumbled back a bit and Nadia was knocked to the ground. 

“Excuse you!” The woman gasped, glaring down at the five-year-old.

“My apologies, ma’am.” Eskel picked Nadia up from the ground and put her on her feet. 

“You should learn to control your child, Master Witcher.”

“She’s just eager to see her mother, ma’am.” Eskel didn’t bother to spare the rude woman a look as he brushed Nadia’s clothes off. 

“Come on, daddy! We’re going to be late!” Nadia tried to move but Eskel refused to let her slip from his grasp again. His hand kept hold of her wrist, gently tugging her back around to face him. 

“Darling, you can’t rush through the streets like you just did.” He shook his head. “You’ll get trampled or run into someone, or I could lose sight of you. You have to stay by my side, holding my hand-,”

“But daddy! Mommy needs us!”

“She will be there even if we are a few minutes later than we said we would be, Nadia-,”

“No, daddy, you don’t understand!” Nadia shook her head, pulling at his wrist and trying to move away from him. “We-We have to get there! We have to get to her! We have to get to her so we can walk her home! What if she walks home alone? We can’t let her walk home by the swamps alone, daddy! You always say the swamps are nowhere for a lady to walk by herself!”

“Your mother is a very capable lady, Nadia. She can handle herself.” Eskel assured Nadia, though the thought of you walking home alone at night, especially through the swamps, worried him. “But we told her this morning that we would be coming to walk her home, didn’t we?”

Nadia looked up at him for a few moments, brows furrowed together as her eyes searched his. 

He could see how worried she was, how concerned she was about her mother’s safety. 

“But-But daddy! She’s-She’s going to walk alone!” Nadia cried out, pulling at his hand once more. She managed to break free this time and darted off into the street. 

“Shit.” Eskel cursed under his breath. 

She was headed in the right direction, straight for your herbal shop, but she was weaving in and out of mule carts and pedestrians, making his stomach churn. One wrong move and she’d be kicked by a spooked horse, or a cart would run her over. 

Luckily, there was a break in the crowd and Eskel didn’t have to be careful with where he was going. He sprinted to his daughter and snatched her up. She screeched rather loudly, kicking and screaming. 

“Daddy! We have to get to mommy!” 

“Nadia, we aren’t going anywhere until you stop yelling.” Eskel moved out of the middle of the road, finding a barrel against the side of a building to place Nadia on. “Look at me, Nadia.”

She had tears streaming down her cheeks. Her hair was a mess and no longer stayed out of her face in the braid Eskel spent way too long doing. He tucked a few pieces of hair out of her eyes and wiped the tears from her cheeks. 

“We will get to mommy before she leaves her shop, okay? But we can’t get to her if you aren’t listening to me. I know you’re worried about her and you don’t want her walking alone at night. It’s scary at night, isn’t it?”

“No, daddy.” Nadia shook her head. “It’s not scary, ‘cause I’ve got you. But-But mommy won’t have you if we don’t make it there on time.”

Eskel stopped for a moment, smiling softly. 

“Sweet girl.” He leaned forward to kiss her forehead. “Mommy is just around the corner. How about I carry you the rest of the way?”

She nodded her head and held her arms out for him. 

Eskel picked her up, letting her tuck her head into his neck. She wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his stomach. 

“I remember years ago when I used to travel for work.” He started down the road towards your shop. “I was always in a rush to get home to mommy. All I wanted to do was see her, and make sure she was safe.”

“Cause you love her, daddy?”

“Yeah, sweetheart. Cause I love her.”

Geralt

The White Wolf looked up from his sword, feeling eyes on him. Across the room, Lana sat with a few toys. Her fingers were in her mouth as she was staring at him, or more accurately, at the sword in his hand. 

He brought his attention back down to the sword and continued to drag the whetstone over it to sharpen the edge. 

Geralt heard Lana stand up and waddle across the room to him. He lifted his gaze to meet her eyes, smiling softly. 

“Hello, little dove.”

“Da.” She cooed, eyes falling from him to stare at the sword. She seemed entranced by the shiny silver. 

Her little hand reached out to touch the sharpened steel but Geralt shook his head, pulling it away from her. 

“No, Lana.” His words were gentle. He never raised his voice at his daughter. But for some reason, the little girl’s face scrunched up and tears sprung from nowhere, trailing down her cheeks. She cried and wailed as if she’d just been hurt. 

You came out of the bedroom in a hurry, anxious to see why your daughter had been crying. 

“What happened?” You asked your husband, who placed his sword aside so he could pick Lana up. 

“She wanted to touch the sword.” Geralt stood to his feet and moved to Lana, reaching down to pick her up. 

“Nooo! Da!” The one-year-old screamed, waving her hands fiercely. 

Geralt stopped, his breath catching in his throat. 

Lana turned to you, tears pouring down her cheeks as she reached out for you. 

“Daddy didn’t hurt you, love.” You picked her up and moved towards Geralt but she writhed in your arms, kicking her feet and burying her face in your neck.

“What if…. Dove, what if she hates me?” He asked quietly, his deep baritone voice barely a whisper. 

“She doesn’t hate you, Geralt.” You shook your head, carefully bouncing Lana up and down as you moved towards him. Her cries had died down to pitiful sniffles as she kept her face in your neck, tears dampening your skin. “Give her an hour and she’ll be back to being attached to your hip.”

He didn’t believe you. What if she hated him? What if she never let him hold her again? What if she never let him give her kisses?

“Did I do something wrong?” He moved to sit down at the table with you.

“You did nothing wrong, Geralt. She’s one. She doesn’t need to be messing with swords. Save that for later.”

“Why did she react like that though?” Geralt looked down at his hands. “She didn’t…. even want me to hold her.”

“She’s overly tired, my love. She hasn’t had her nap yet.” You stopped bouncing her and rubbed her back. “She’ll be asleep any minute.”

He stood up from the chair and moved to put his sword away. From there, he nervously moved around the room, going from one window to the other and then to the fireplace, waiting for Lana to wake up. 

You took her to her room so she could sleep properly. 

When you turned to leave the room, you found your husband standing in the doorway with his arms crossed. A frown was prominent on his lips and his brow was furrowed. 

You sighed softly and moved to him, brushing your hand along his bicep.

“Geralt, my love, there’s no reason to be so worried.”

“I made her cry.” 

“She cries over everything.” You reached up to brush your fingertips over his scruffy cheek. “She still loves you.”

He let out a small breath and looked past you to his sleeping daughter. 

“Let her take her nap and afterwards I promise you she’ll be back to normal.”

He nodded but remained silent. 

You guided him out to the main room and put a blanket down in front of the fireplace. You sat down, comfortably criss crossing your legs, and patted your lap. The witcher laid down parallel to the hearth, resting his head in your lap.

“You did the right thing, Geralt.” You assured him, combing your fingers through his hair. “She is definitely not allowed to touch your swords- or any weapons for that matter -when she is this young. Later on when she’s older, you can teach her how to properly handle a dagger. But for now, you need to protect her from hurting herself, and you did your job. Yes, you made her cry, but she cries over everything.”

“I’ve…. I just have never been the one to make her cry.” His eyes fluttered shut. 

“You’re an amazing father, Geralt.” You brushed your fingertips along the sides of his face. “Making her cry doesn’t change that. She’s just a sleepy baby. Everything will be alright.”

A little while later, Lana woke up. You were still sitting on the floor and Geralt had dozed off for a few minutes. The second he heard her little footsteps, he opened his eyes and pushed himself into a sitting position. 

She came waddling into the room a few moments later, holding one of her stuffed animals. At the sight of her father, her face lit up and she threw her hands into the air, letting out a joyful, high-pitched squeal. The little one-year-old did her best to run to him. 

Geralt caught her just as she tripped a few steps away from him. The stuffed animal was discarded on the floor. 

“Da! Dada!” She kicked her feet happily, the biggest smile spread across her face. 

A smile of his own came across the witcher’s lips as she put her hands on either side of his face and leaned forward to kiss him. Calling it a kiss was a bit of an overstatement though. She put her mouth against his cheek and drooled on him. 

You smiled fondly, reaching over to rub your husband’s shoulder. 

“I told you everything would be okay.”

His eyes flickered over to meet yours and he smiled back at you. He leaned in to kiss you but Lana was having none of it. She squealed and grabbed his face, turning him back to her. 

You leaned forward to kiss Geralt’s shoulder since he was occupied with Lana kissing his face.

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If your name is in italics, it wouldn’t let me tag you :(

[havethetimeofyourstyles]

in which you study in a different country and meet someone along the way.  

hi lovelies! this is my fic for miss olivia’s @bfharry​ boyfriendathon! i’ve had this concept for a year now, and i’m so happy i was finally able to write it!

thank you to @bopbopstyles​ @stellarboystyles & @avhrodite​ for beta-ing! <3

enjoy 7.5k words of friends to lovers & uni!harry & boyfriend!harry !! also the story is supposed to go semi-fast since it is mostly flashbacks, the sparkly breaks will tell you when the flashbacks start and end! 

i’ve made a playlist for this fic! if anyone would like to listen while reading click here

please please leave feedback! super excited for this because it’s probably a fav of mine and i’m really proud of it, so i would love to know what you think! a reblog, comment, and/or ask would mean a lot! <3

The birds were chirping and the sun was beaming on you, leaving a glow to your skin that had shined ever so brightly, giving you a healthy and lovely tint to your skin. It was a lovely day that there was not an ounce of complaint in your mind because of the beautiful weather Mother Nature decided to provide you with, knowing that you hadn’t gotten perfect weather for the past few weeks. The trees and grass were as green as ever as slight wind rustled between the leaves, making the sound of the crisp leaves loud. 

It was a moment like this where you felt so happy and grateful to be in a beautiful city; that you had made the right decision. The London view and atmosphere does not compare to any other place in the world, aside from the fact that you haven’t been to many places in your life. But you’re a bit biased on your opinion because London graced you with your boyfriend, Harry. You remembered the first time you came to London just two years ago, and you never imagined how your life had planned out until this very moment. 

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

You had stepped on the plane with nervous thoughts running through your head. It was the first time you ever rode a plane, and your destination was hours away, practically a full day. It was a major step, and you probably should’ve thought it through; maybe traveling to the next state, but to travel to another country was a big step for you. 

It wasn’t a vacation, more like, school in a different country for a few months. You had decided to study abroad when you were in high school, wanting to get away from home and also learning in a brand new place without the toxicity hanging onto your foot as you try walking away. It had taken a while to finally study abroad because the requirements of you needing to finish your first year of college before you could study in the fall. 

Your family hadn’t taken it well, but you decided that there was nothing you could do to stop them. You were going to pay for the trip and your expenses all on your own. It definitely helped that you got a scholarship to go to university in the first place, and lucky enough to live on campus away from home.

You were sad that they didn’t feel an ounce of happiness for you, and you had asked your cousin to take you to the airport, being the only person to bid you goodbye. The feeling was overbearing and overwhelming, making your heart sink but at the same time feel full with sadness. At the time, you had felt like everything was holding you back and you just wanted to get away. 

A new start was needed. 

It was August when you traveled alone to London. Anxiety was boiling in your throat as you craved the need to hold onto something as the ride was quite bumpy, making you sweat and shake. But you survived, and you were at your new home. At least for the next 4 months. 

It wasn’t a hard decision to decide to study abroad, but you really hoped you met good people and made friends. It had always been a struggle making and keeping a good batch of people in your life. You had thought it was easy to make friends during your time in London; no one knows you and they don’t know your insecurities. So, you thought it was going to be easy.

And luckily, you were right. 

You had met your three best girl friends, all that you had shared a small place with. The common room had held so many memories between the four of you, and you felt so immensely grateful for them. Late night talks and laughs while drinking wine and eating snacks were some of your best memories. You had missed the common room greatly. 

One night, Tanya had suggested a night out on their first week there, “let’s all go out with the guys tonight! I already met Peter, and we talked about going out, so we could introduce you to everyone!” 

The girls and guys were stoked for the most part, and you were excited too, but also nervous, hoping the guys had found something interesting about you. 

And that was the night you met Harry. 

Some of the students that went to university in London shared a dorm with the abroad students until they left. Half were in the art program and the other half was the journalism program. Two of the girls in your dorm, Donna and Sophie, were in the journalism class, and you and Tanya were in the art one. You had wished everyone was in the same class, but that made get togethers and dinners at night way more fun because it had felt like everyone had so much to catch up on, and the fun was at the highest level. 

You had seen Harry approximately twice within your first week, but it was merely just from passing. But that night was the first proper night you hung out with him and everyone else. 

You couldn’t deny that he was insanely attractive. Just at first glance he had that sort of charm to him that was irresistible and alluring, wanting more after he was done talking. He was a bit on the quiet side when you met him, but learned that he started getting louder and talkative once you warmed up to him. He was outgoing and fun, the life of the party once he had a drink or two in his system, and when he does have some liquid courage, he gets cuddly and affectionate. 

“Do you want another drink?” He asked in his buzzed state. 

“I think I’m okay right now, and who’s going to take care of you when you keep having more?” You teased. It was definitely the alcohol talking because you would have never voluntarily teased someone like that. 

“Well, we have a few people in our group.” It had made your heart flutter when he said ‘our.’ You had never had a group of friends to call yours, and although it was only the first week, you had known they were going to be a group of special people close to your heart. 

“Our friend group is also drunk off their asses, so I think there needs to be a responsible person right now, and that is me,” you put your hands under your chin and started fluttering your eyes innocently. Harry thought you were the most charming and sweetest girl he’s ever met, and it had only been a week. 

“Okay, whatever you say, missy,” he teased. You held back your big smile, corners of your lips turned up. 

“Go get your drink. I’ll wait here,” you pushed his shoulder slightly towards the bar with a chuckle. 

“Ooh, bossy. I like it,” he said with a wink before he headed towards the bar. You were lucky that he had already left to get a drink, or else he would’ve seen your face turn into a light red shade, flustered from his actions.  

As the night went on, Harry had practically clung onto you when he was buzzed, and never let you go until everyone walked back to the dorms. 

“No, don’t wanna leave ya,” he whined a bit when you tried handing him off to his friend. “Nooo, don’t make me go with him,” he pouted as if he was a child. You had gigged, thinking he was the absolute cutest when he was drunk (and not drunk) as he clung onto you until you physically had to put him in his bed.

His arms were still tight around you, your body was laying slightly on top of him. Lazy smiles and droopy eyes were made at you, causing you to chuckle. 

“Mmm. Hello,” he said with a giggle. 

“Hi. You okay?” 

“Yup. Perfect. You know...you’re very pretty,” he says as he smiled. Although he was drunk, Harry was telling the truth. 

“Thank you.” And although he was drunk, it still made you smile. 

“Mhm…” he mumbled in response. The silence between you two was enough to lull him to sleep; arms were still around you. 

“Goodnight, Harry,” you said against his forehead, giving him a small kiss as you tried your best to slip out of his hold. 

That moment had changed everything. 

The two of you had gotten closer after that night. The next day, you bumped into him in the lobby of the building and he asked if you wanted to walk to class with him. 

You laughed about it with him as you walked, “you were so cute last night.” 

“Yeah, M’sorry about that. I get like that when m’drunk,” he shyly said. 

“No need to apologize. I’m glad you had fun,” you said with a smile. He had smiled back at you as he felt the butterflies in his stomach flutter around. 

You and Harry spent almost everyday after class together or in between classes for a quick bite to eat. There was a usual coffee shop near the building that you would always meet each other at on Mondays and Wednesdays. On Tuesday, you two would walk together to a fish n’ chips spot for lunch. On Thursdays, it was a sandwich shop. Fridays you saved your outings for that night as everyone got together on Fridays. 

“We could make this our thing, y’know?” Harry suggested. 

“Fish n’ Chips Tuesdays?” You beamed at him. 

“Yeah, and coffee shop Mondays and Wednesdays, and sandwich shop Thursdays,” he was quite nervous getting that out, but he managed to do it with a smile. 

“That would be nice. Don't you think you would get tired of me?” You teased him, raising your eyebrow as you took a handful of fries and shoving them in your mouth. You hadn’t realized, at the time, how unattractive you might’ve looked, but Harry couldn’t help but smile and fall deeper. 

And he never got tired of you. 

Aside from having lunch and coffee everyday together, you had taken him to art museums. He wasn’t horrible at trying to interpret art, but looking at you beside him as you gazed at the art above yourself was something that he was fond of. He smiled every time you got lost in the art as you studied it, passionately looking up, trying to figure out what each piece means to you. It was admirable, really. 

“You’re gonna be up there one day, watch,” he had whispered to you as you were in a daze. You chuckled as you looked at him, seeing if he was messing around. He wasn't though. He had seen your paintings and sketches, and thought that you deserved to be hung up high in the gallery. 

“You’re sweet,” you smiled and he put his arm around your shoulder, bringing you closer to his side. The affection had made you blush, thinking how you were falling for your best friend. 

After two months into studying abroad, you felt the happiest you’ve ever been. Aside from the constant moving around and trying your best to explore every part of the city, you felt like you belonged there. All those years living, you felt like you weren’t truly living, and being in London was possibly one of the best decisions you’ve ever made. 

You felt at peace. You were calm, and genuinely happy. Your head wasn’t racing like it was back in your hometown, and you weren’t anxiously looking over your shoulder, realizing that no one really is after you. 

The group decided to take a trip to Paris for the day, and the rest of the days would be spent hitting up a city or two. Everyone had the week off; a bit like spring break as you finished the first half of studying abroad. Everyone was super excited, and you haven’t been to Paris before so it was going to be a new place that you could check off from your list with your favorite people. 

It was a two and a half hour train ride from London to Paris, so you had loaded up a two hour playlist for the ride. 

At the time, it seemed like everyone knew that you were crushing on Harry, except Harry himself. When everyone boarded, the only seat empty was the one next to him. You weren’t mad, in fact, you were thrilled that the seat next to him was vacant. When you sat next to him, his eyes beamed, glad to see you, and you looked over at your friends as they gave you that teasing eye look while you rolled your eyes. 

“Anyone sitting here?” You asked and he shook his head no, giving you a small smile to sit down.

Everyone was still tired, considering it was 7 in the morning, and the group wanted to stay in Paris for the entire day. You yawned and Harry looked at you, giving you a soft smile. You grabbed your earphones out of your purse, handing one earphone to him and placing the other in your ear. In that moment, Harry was so happy as you two listened to Frank Sinatra on the way to Paris, placing your head on your shoulder and his on your head as Frank lulled you both into a nap before your adventure together. 

The entire day was eventful, but exhausting. With everyone on their feet, they were all ready to crash and luckily it was nearing sunset before the last train of the day. 

The last touristy place was the famous Eiffel Tower. Everyone had decided to get some wine and snacks as the whole group sat on a big blanket in the grass area in front of the Eiffel Tower. The sun was slowly setting and the guys were playing with a soccer ball, passing it around as the girls drank and talked; music playing from the speaker Sophie had brought with her.

 You took a mental picture of the scene around you; the people, atmosphere, and the feeling. And you had softly smiled, thinking these are the people in your life that are going to be in your life forever. Despite the fact that half of you had to go separate ways, there was a certainty in your head that everyone will always end up back together again. 

The sun had fully set and the lights on the Eiffel Tower had turned on as it started twinkling, lighting up Paris since the sun had gone tired. The guys were getting tired as well, so they sat with the girls. Harry was on your right side, arm behind your back but he didn’t touch you as it rested on the blanket and he leaned on it. 

“Dance with me,” he whispered ever so softly in your ear. You turned towards him and he smiled. 

“Right now?” 

“Yes, right now. Please, dance with me,” he pleaded and you nodded. He had immediately gotten up and helped you up. 

‘A Sunday Kind of Love’ by Etta James began playing softly as you and Harry swayed. Your arms were around his neck and his were around your waist. Chests pressed together as you had felt his heartbeat that pounded through his chest that gladly traveled to your chest, making your heart beat in sync with his.

It was silent between you two. There were no outside noises interrupting your bubble as you two ignored the eyes your friends were giving you. It was just you and Harry, the music, and the Eiffel Tower that captured your love and kept it for memory sake as you swayed under the moonlight. 

Harry had pulled away from you, looking so intently in your eyes, fondness gleamed out of them.

“Be mine,” he said softly. “I’m fallin’ for you, and I’m fallin’ hard. Please be mine already?” You were about ready to cry in that moment, but tears glossed your eyes.

You nodded and he beamed, “Only if you agree to be mine as well because I’m falling for you too,” you added. 

Harry immediately nodded, “I’ve been yours…this whole time.”

“Harry…” 

“Yes, darling?” The pet name had come unexpected, but you loved it nonetheless. 

“Kiss me.”

He took your face in his hands, brushing away the strands of hair that had covered your pretty eyes before capturing your lips with his. The molded between your lips and his was perfect, like they were meant to be kissing Harry’s. Your hold on him grew tighter as your tongues touched for the first time. It sent shivers down your spine and made the hairs on the back of your neck rise. 

It was a moment that would never leave your mind and you two would cherish it forever. 

It had been two weeks since the group arrived back to London from Paris. Two weeks since the best day of your life, and you and Harry were attached at the hip and at the heart. It had been so easy to be around him, and you couldn’t believe he was your boyfriend. Your boyfriend.

You’ve been falling for him ever since the day you went out with everyone for the first time and clung onto you like a koala. But you were glad to be that tree for him that night. 

The regular dates hadn’t stopped. You two acted the same around each other, and that was because of the friendship before the relationship. And you were able to hold his hand while walking down the street and kiss him against the wall of an alley.

It was the third month of school, and everyone was swamped in midterm studies. The amount of stress everyone had was enough for an entire school year because of how fast paced the program was. 

It neared eleven at night in the boys’ dorm. Everyone’s heads were in their books or typing on their laptop, papers scattered around them. For the art program, you had to visit various museums and look for a painting that defined the meaning of Impressionism art along with a 2,000 words that went along with the painting. 

Multiple yawns passed through the room, and everyone was exhausted. 

“Alright, I’m done for the night. Can’t do anymore studying,” Tanya said as she started packing her things up loosely. 

“Yeah, think we should call it a night,” Cade suggested. 

A series of ‘goodlucks’ and hugs went around the room as everyone packed their things up, and the girls went off to the dorm as you were still packing, wanting a minute alone with Harry. 

“Stay the night?” He had suggested, and you turned around and stopped fixing your things. 

“You want me to?” 

“Yeah. Think I’ll sleep better with you here and m’all stressed out.” 

“Okay,” you replied back, thinking that you would sleep better with him as well. 

As you two got into bed, Harry had played music on his phone, saying that it had helped him sleep and it was a habit when getting into bed. You noticed that you and Harry had the same love for Frank Sinatra as he hugged you to his chest. 

The two had laid there, not even closing your eyes to try and get some sleep. But rather, staring at the ceiling, running your hands up and down each other’s skin. 

And the moment you had leaned up to give him a kiss, you two couldn’t stop there. 

Hands that roamed your body had made that electrifying feeling stronger, pulling him in for more. The passionate kisses that you two traded had triggered each other’s arousal as he hovered over you. The pull and undressing of each other’s clothes while ‘Strangers in the Night’ played had left you wanting more and more of him. 

“I’ve never done this before. Like any of this,” you whispered. 

“Do you want to continue? We don’t have to if you don’t want to--I’m definitely fine with just kissin’ ya,” he said with a smile, causing you to beam at him being a gentleman. 

“Yes, want this so bad, baby.” You responded quickly, feeling very eager. He smiled in return and continued what he was doing.

He had asked you throughout the experience if you were okay with everything, and when you told him ‘yes please, give it to me’, he made sure he got you ready for him; rubbing your button and fingering you to your high, something you’ve never experienced with another person. 

It was the reassurance that Harry had given for your first time, and the constant questions of making sure if you were okay and if you were comfortable when he slowly pushed into you, trying to make sure he wasn’t being too hard with you because of his hard and big length. 

“So good for me,” he whispered out, kissing your lips. 

“Feels so good,” you had moaned out, never experiencing this type of feeling before. The pleasure had taken over the stinging feeling of your Harry entering you for the first time. You two were connected in a way you’ve never felt before. 

The soft whispers of praises that fell from your lips, and your arousal and orgasm prior that lubricated Harry’s thrusting, had made him feel so many things. He wanted to last for you, he didn't want this moment to end. Scratches in his hair and down his back had encouraged him to continue as you moaned his name in his ear, and he pressed wet kisses to your neck as he grabbed your breast. 

Two strangers in the night who had no idea of each other’s existence just three months ago. They had no clue of what their life was going to become when they met each other. It was the way you looked at each other that he knew you weren’t going to be just a stranger to him. Although he had a bit of alcohol in his system, he knew in his heart that he was going to find that sort of comfort and caring personality when he started talking to you. 

Harry continued to make love to you as the moonlight was seeping through the blinds, like the love that seeped through your veins for each other. He brought you both to your highs, and the only thing that was heard was the hushed moans and groans that came out of your mouths that could signify the love you have for one another.

It was that moment that changed everything. 

The fourth month had approached sooner than you would like. 

You and Harry hadn’t discussed what was going to happen when you had to leave, but you had hoped that you could make long distance work. 

The feelings you had for him were nothing you had ever felt before. It had made you cry out of happiness in random times, but also made you want to scream because of how too good to be true he is. 

He treated you like a queen. Making sure to give you as much love as you could handle, but sometimes a little more because he couldn’t hold it in. 

Throughout the weeks, you had learned so much about him and him, you. You didn’t think there was someone in the world that was so kind and caring; someone who shares similar passions and likes the same things you do. He was an angel sent from above, and you wanted to keep him for as long as possible. 

One night, you two shared your pasts together as you laid in bed together after a session of love making and a few rounds of hard fucking per your request. 

The fear you had inside of you was trickling down with your words when you had told him your insecurities and stories of your family that you wanted to forget. But he took everything so well; never looking at you for your insecurities, but only for your heart. 

“They weren’t very really supportive of me--of what I wanted to do. They just expected me to follow what they wanted, and I didn’t like that…” His hands roamed your skin innocently, comforting you and let you know he was there for you. “I was already miserable there. I didn’t want to be even more miserable doing something I hated. So I went against their demands and they said they weren’t going to pay for anything. But luckily I got a scholarship, and moved away from home.” 

“I’m proud of you for doing that.” You looked up at him as he continued. “It’s admirable to see you chase your dream and do what you want to do, despite being told by parents who don’t support you. You’re strong for that, y’know?” You hadn’t responded; just took in his words of support and comfort. You kissed his chest, leaving soft and wet kisses to his skin. 

It was like you couldn’t get enough of him. The magnetic pull that you had between you had grown, making the force stronger than ever, and you never wanted to leave his side. 

As the last few weeks of studying abroad we’re coming to an end, everyone was focused on finals. There weren’t that many dinners or nights out at that moment, but everyone had time since the people who lived outside of England had a week before they had to pack up and leave. 

One night as Harry was in your room, studying on the bed as you were writing a paper for your final project, he had suggested visiting his hometown. 

“Darling, I have a question,” he perked up. You looked at him and nodded for him to continue. “You could say no and that would be totally fine, but how about we go to my hometown this weekend? We could even study over there. It’s less noisy and it’s not a hussle and bussle kind of town. I just want you to be able to see where I grew up.” 

You smiled, “Sounds nice. Where are we going to stay?” 

“Figured we could stay at my mum’s? She’s got a great backyard, or we could explore and I could take you around,” he said with great hope. Your heart fluttered, Harry wanted you to see where he grew up. He wanted to show you every corner of his hometown. 

“Oh…at your mom’s. Is she going to be there?” The thought of meeting his mother had scared you. You had never met anyone’s parents, and it was the nagging thought in your head telling you that you were going to mess it up. 

“Yeah, but we could get a hotel or something-”

“No! I would love to stay there, and I would love to meet your mom.”

Harry smiled, giving you a kiss to your lips before grabbing his phone and texting his mother.

The train ride to Holmes Chapel was about two and a half hours. 

You suddenly had a fascination with trains as you felt like it kept you calm while you watched different towns and buildings pass by. 

With the speed of the train, it had felt like you were in slow motion. Your eyes tried taking in everything you saw, capturing every moment of what you want to remember. And Harry is in a lot of those images. 

Holmes Chapel was very welcoming and warm. Despite the weather, it was warm. It felt like home. It was a small town and everyone seemed to know the next person, but you loved every part of it because it was where Harry grew up. 

His childhood home was even lovelier. Maybe it was because of the fact that Anne lived there and Harry grew up there, but she was ever so sweet and welcomed you in with open arms. 

She had taken a liking to you immediately, telling you childhood stories of Harry and his sister, Gemma, that only family knew. Harry was ultimately surprised at how quickly Anne opened up to you. He knew his mother was kind, but she kept to herself and didn’t speak when she was uncomfortable, so to see his mother laughing loudly with his also somewhat shy girlfriend, made his heart burst with love. 

Harry had watched them sit at the dining table, sharing stories as he leaned against the kitchen counter as he wore a robe to keep him warm while smiling so big that his jaw physically started to hurt. 

He’d never had felt so loved and had never loved anything like he does with you. It surprised him how fast he fell for you, but it was quite possibly the easiest thing he did. There was no judgement in the relationship. You had kept him grounded and helped him when he was going through a rut when writing. 

The only thing that was bad about the relationship was the distance that will be put between you two when you leave to go back home. He didn’t want this to become a fling, to have a time limit. He knew exactly what he was getting into the day he asked you to be his, and he didn’t want to let go of you. 

And he truly hoped you felt the same. 

Just after you and Harry were back in London after visiting Anne and his hometown, finals had approached rather quickly. You had had a great time spending a little time with his mother, and you think she liked you very much. There were countless conversations and laughs that you will never forget. 

“Can I ask you something sweetheart?” Anne asked. 

“Of course,” you said, and you had been nervous as to what she was going to ask. 

“You mentioned that you were leaving just before the holiday, but I just wanted to ask where that leaves you and Harry. Are you two still going to be together?” A frown had made an appearance on her face, resembling your own. 

“I would like to. We haven’t spoken about it, but I’m sure that conversation will happen soon,” you had answered honestly.

“You still would still want to be with him?” You nodded in response. “That’s great to know. I like you a lot, and Harry has taken quite the liking towards you as well, but I just didn’t know if it was some sort of abroad type of relationship; someone to just keep you company in a new country-”

“No, it’s nothing like that! I know it’s only been almost two months of our relationship, but I love him, and I would never let him go. I didn’t want to study abroad to have a relationship, but he stumbled into my life so unexpectedly and I don’t have plans of letting that kind of love go.” 

Everything you had said was the whole truth. You weren’t expecting a relationship to come out of this, but you’re so immensely happy that it did because Harry walked into your life. Although you hadn’t known him for a very long time, quality overruled quantity. The connection you two had made within the few months meant something deeper than a fling. 

Anne smiled and nodded, like she was appreciating you and her respect for you had increased. The topic was over, and it was onto the next that was followed by laughs. And that entire time you stayed at her house, Anne knew exactly why Harry had fallen in love with you. 

The last week of being in London had come very quickly, and sadness was an understatement. 

The people who were leaving had decided to start packing the things that they didn’t need and weren’t going to use anymore, so they had extra time to spend and go out with everyone because packing your things for four months plus the things you bought wasn’t all that fun. 

It was Monday morning after finals when you had heard your phone buzz on your bedside table. You had groaned as it felt like you had slept for only 30 minutes. You debated on whether to check it in your sleepy state. The buzzing had stopped, making your thoughts turn off, but started back up once again and you figured you should check it. 

Harry was calling you in the early hours of the morning. It was 6 a.m and if it were anyone else, you would ignore it. 

“Harry? What’s wrong? Are you okay?” You had mumbled once you answered the phone. Harry chuckled, but also fell deeper in love as you were just as caring as you were awake. 

“Darling, m’fine! M’actually outside of your dorm. I didn’t want to knock and wake everyone else up, but get up. We’re going on an adventure,” he said in a hushed voice, and you practically heard his smile through the phone. 

“Harry…” your eyes were still closed, exhausted from your slumber. 

“Please, baby. You won’t regret it.” 

And you didn’t. You never regretted anything when it came to Harry. 

You had gotten up and dressed warm enough for your adventure, and met Harry outside to which he rewarded you with a hug and kiss, thanking you for putting up with him. 

You both got in Peter’s car that Harry had begged him to take for a little bit, and luckily he agreed because the tube wasn’t running at that time. With Harry’s arm in your lap, you leaned on his arm as you closed your eyes until he took you both to your destination.

It was still a bit dark out, but it was way past the starry night it was a few hours ago. The sun was just about ready to rise, and the early bird got the worm. 

Harry had held your hand as he led you both up to top of the Primrose Hill, showing the beautiful London city. It had taken you both a while to get to the top, due to you being extremely sleepy still and sluggishly holding you both back. Harry had set a blanket down for you two to sit on, and you immediately snuggled into him. 

“Don’t fall asleep on me, darling. We have a sunrise to watch,” he said, leaning his head down and caressing your face. 

“Mmm. Tired,” you grumbled. 

“Please? It’s your last week here,” he said sadly, and you wished you hadn’t complained that you were tired because hearing his tone had almost broke your heart. But that woke you up slightly, realizing that you didn’t want to miss another moment with him. 

The sky had gotten a little lighter, and Harry checked his phone for the time, about 30 minutes till the sun started to rise. 

“Tell me something,” he said. It had been a thing you two did when you started hanging out. It was sort of a confession time; either can say anything you want to say and the other will listen. 

“I’m going to miss you so much that the thought of us not being physically next to each other will hurt so bad,” you confessed. 

“I’m going to miss you too.” 

“Baby, you don’t understand. My heart will completely break once I part ways with you at the airport. I cant handle it, Harry,” your body had completely faced his, and he noticed your eyes were swollen from the lack of sleep and the incoming tears. 

“Hey, I know exactly how you feel. You’re not the only one who gets to feel like that,” he said more seriously. “But we’re gonna get through this, okay? We’ll do everything to make sure we make it together,” he had placed a hand on your cheek. 

“You want this right?” Your insecurities had gotten in the way and you needed reassurance from him, and Harry knew that and didn’t ever complain to give it to you. 

“Of course, baby. Never gave you a reason telling you I didn’t want this, right?” You shook your head, tears had made its way down your face, and Harry had shared the same tears as you. “Then don’t worry. Everything’s going to be fine. I’ll make sure of it.” Harry held you to his chest and you both cried in each other’s arms. 

The sunrise was as beautiful as ever that morning, screaming for a new beginning as the sun illuminated the sky into an orange and yellow glow. The new beginning was right in your arms as you held him tighter while tears fell down both of your faces, feeling powerful and stronger together as you two poured every emotion and energy into each other. 

Harry was your sunrise and your sunset. 

You wanted to spend the beginning of every morning with him and have him be the last thing you see before you are pulled into a deep slumber, dreaming of him for hours until you see his face again and make him your reality. 

And you both were going to make it. 

The ride to the airport was long and filled with silence as words weren’t needed at that time; only the hurt because of the love that was so strong that nothing could come between you two. Not even distance. 

You already missed the whole group dearly, and the last dinner with everyone was bittersweet. It was an emotional one as everyone talked about their favorite times and laughed at memories of drunken stories. And at the end, everyone raised a glass. 

“To the best group of friends out there.” 

“To a talented ass group of artists and writers.” 

“To love, laughter, and the pub.” 

“To new beginnings, but never endings.” 

Everyone cried and hugged each other, making the moment last forever, but it was definitely not the last time. 

You slowly walked with Harry, hand in hand as he rolled your luggage, to the area where you both had to part your ways. He had kissed your hand and head multiple times until you stood facing in front of him. 

The embrace you two shared was the most gut wrenching feeling you had ever felt in your life, and it felt like your heart was physically breaking along with Harry’s. 

Your hearts had always been in sync, beating as fast as the other or filling in beats for one another when one of your hearts had skipped a beat. Being without one another would feel like a missing beat in your hearts, and you needed the other to fulfill it.

“This is not goodbye. It’s never going to be goodbye with you, okay?” Harry’s voice croaked and you nodded, too afraid to speak as tears spilled out of your eyes. 

You were breathing deeply, knowing you should go through TSA already as you both were trying to spend every last minute together. 

“Tell me something?” Harry had asked one last time in person. You thought hard about it, wanting to make it the best one he’s ever heard. 

“I love you, baby.” 

He gave you a small and sad smile as more tears formed in his eyes, “I love you too. So much, darling.” 

And then you were off.

Harry had watched you walk away until he couldn’t see you anymore before he had sulked back to his dorm, crying all the way back. He felt empty without you beside him. With spending everyday with each other for the past four months, it had felt like a punch to his chest when you had left. 

When he had gotten back to his room, he noticed a large square board wrapped in festive wrapping paper with an envelope attached to it. 

‘To my lovely Harry, 

Thank you for loving with me, laughing with me, and living with me. You’re the best person I’ve ever come to know, so I hope you enjoy this piece that was dedicated to you (and our group of friends). I’m so grateful you’re the person who has my heart.

I love you and miss you so much. 

Yours forever.

The tears hadn’t stopped since he saw you leave, and they kept on coming as he opened his present.

Sitting in his hands was your final project along with your paper. It was a painting of his hand holding a heart as blood dripped from it. He noticed it was his hand because of the various rings he wore. The London Eye, Big Ben, the Eiffel Tower, and the pub were at the aorta as a plane curved from around the heart. The background was painted as an orange and yellow color, symbolizing the sunset. 

Harry sobbed and hugged your painting to his chest, feeling as if it’s the last thing he has of you for a while. He picked up your paper and read the title. 

‘The Power of Being Vulnerable’ 

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

And so you were sat on a floral blanket, two years later; setting up your lunch, and taking out your sketchbook along with your supplies. You had brought your painting easel, in case it wasn’t going to rain, and you’re glad that you brought it because the weather was just gorgeous enough to paint outside for a while.

Before you went to the park, you had time to make a quick and small charcuterie board that was filled with Brie, prosciutto, crackers, and honey; a snack that would take up your time under the warm sun. 

You started sketching your drawing until you felt a familiar pair of lips against your cheek behind you. 

“Hi, darling,” his raspy voice that had brought you immediate peace said in your ear. You turned your head, and saw the beautiful smile beaming down at you before sitting down and meeting you at eye level, giving you a kiss to your lips. 

“Hi, baby.” 

“Sorry I’m late, quite the line at the sandwich shop, but I got your favorite as always.” You smiled after him, thanking him for waiting in that line and for the food. 

“It’s okay, practically just sat down a few minutes ago, and set everything up.” 

“Okay, good. By the way, you look absolutely beautiful,” he took off his sunglasses to give him a more clear look. You were wearing a dress that complimented your skin tone, making your eyes enticing that he couldn’t help but fall more in love.

“Thank you, my love. You look so handsome,” you complimented back, leaning in to peck his lips. Harry was wearing a plaid button down flannel, black jeans, boots, and a fedora. His hair has grown much longer over the past few years, and you honestly love it. One day, you had told him that he looks like a prince to which you earned a blush. 

“Gonna paint, my darling?” 

“Yeah. Nice weather out today, so definitely going to.” 

“Can’t wait you see what you put together,” Harry smiles, making the dimples that you love so much, pop out. 

You and Harry spent the rest of the day together before it was time to head to dinner with the six other people that had changed your life. It was something simple like sitting on top of the same hill you were at two years ago that made your heart flutter. With his head in your lap as he read a book, occasionally stopping to scratch his head and give him a kiss to his forehead, and you sitting upright painting away as he fed you crackers and cheese, you would have never known this is how your life would turn out. 

You were extremely grateful for the years you were given to be with Harry and your group of friends that you love so dearly. You were a shy girl, scared of being scared, hardly opened up to anyone. 

But that same shy girl blossomed. She blossomed into a beautiful woman who was being praised and treated like the way she should. The man beside her had reminded her every single day that she is a stunning and caring person that deserves the world and more. She eventually started to believe it herself. She began to start seeing herself that way. She woke up and looked in the mirror and started to remind herself that she was beautiful and that she was going to take over the world. 

The affirmations had come from opening herself up to people who genuinely cared about her. Because being vulnerable isn’t bad whatsoever. 

It allowed you to let go of whatever pain there was inside your heart and leaned onto someone so they could hold your pain as well because you finally weren’t alone. You finally had people who loved you and needed you. 

You had opened your heart up all those years ago, and it led you to the best thing that’s ever happened to you. 

With two years of loving each other and two years of long distance, you had opened up your heart to the most special man in the world. The constant tears of missing each other from the other side of the world. The need to feel his touch. The tiring plane rides every four months to visit him, until it was his turn to visit you. The care packages. The long FaceTime chats. They all led to the best hugs when you reunited with Harry. 

You would travel the world and back if it meant Harry was your destination. 

And it was where the world took you that led to your forever. 

feedback is appreciated here! <3 also i would love to take blurbs for this and write more about them, so please let me know what you like to read!

[theotherhufflepuff]

Driving Home For Christmas (pt 1)

Carry On Countdown day 21 - Holiday

~5.5K

All my stories for this year's Countdown take place in the same universe/timeline. You can find my other fics under the tag Casey writes.

Now, I'll be honest with you; I started this one well in advance but the Christmas period is always quite difficult for me and things have gotten on top of me a bit so I haven't been able to write as much as I'd have liked. This is also why I've had to abandon a couple of the prompts I had ideas for - but I might come back to them later!

As it is this is getting way too long anyway, so I'm going to post it in two parts (part 2 as soon as I can manage it!)

This takes place immediately after my day 6 (reunion/reconnect) fic, 'Til I Belong To You. You don't need to have read that one for this to make sense, but it does spoil the entire plot of the previous one so it's probably best to read them in order!

Title is the Chris Rea song.

I don't think this one needs any content warnings.

Enjoy!

Baz

I can hear Simon in the shower. It’s Christmas Eve and he has to work a half day. My office is closed and I took yesterday off because I only got back from America on Saturday, so I’m enjoying a rare lie in. Well I was, until Simon dropped something that hit the bottom of the bathtub with a loud bang.

He opens the bathroom door and a waft of his scent reaches me. I breathe it in as deep as I can manage. He comes around to my side of the bed and kisses my cheek. “I’ve got to go,” he says, quietly.

“Mmm,” I groan.

Simon laughs. “Are you going to stay in bed all day?”

“Maybe,” I mumble, pulling the duvet up over my head.

Simon pokes me in the ribs through the duvet. “Don’t make me pull this off you,” he threatens, lifting the bottom edge and exposing my feet. I pull them up further so they’re covered again.

“Nooo,” I moan. I fell asleep naked and it is so cold outside of the bed. I don’t know where my clothes are.

Simon laughs again and kisses the top of my head. “I’ll be back at lunch time. Love you.” I hear him leave the room and a minute later the front door opens and closes.

Three days ago, Simon proposed to me. We haven’t told anyone yet; we’re just enjoying being together for a few days. It hasn’t been hard; we just haven’t seen anyone. Well, Simon had to go to work yesterday but since he’s not the one wearing the ring it hasn’t come up. We spent Saturday afternoon and most of Sunday in bed, sleeping – and not sleeping. Simon has been in such a good mood; I actually think he might be able to enjoy Christmas this year.

We’re going to Lady Ruth’s for dinner this evening before her party starts. We can’t stay for the party because we’re driving up to Oxford tonight to spend Christmas with my family. We’ve spent the last two Christmases with the Salisburys because I didn’t want to leave Simon and I didn’t want to take him to Oxford – that’s not going to help anyone’s depression. But Daphne called me a few weeks ago and practically begged me to spend Christmas there. They’ve just finished converting one of the small barns near the house so I have somewhere to sleep other than the sofa. Daphne said she wanted me to bring Simon, she said it would be ok. I don’t really know what that means; has she had an actual conversation with my father about it? That would be more conversation than I have ever had with my father about it. I spoke to Simon; I told him he didn’t have to come if he didn’t want to, but he said he wanted to. So we’re spending Christmas in Oxford. Where we will have to announce our engagement to my family.

I groan to myself, still curled into a ball under the duvet. I’m not looking forward to this at all. I try to focus on the positives; the children will be excited. Daphne cooks a lovely Christmas dinner. The barn is separate from the house so we can at least escape if we need to. I get to dress Simon for dinner.

I poke my head out over the duvet and try to locate some clothes; I am absolutely not getting out of this bed without something to put on. There’s a pair of pyjama bottoms within arm’s reach and I put them on under the duvet. They’re too big for me because they’re Simon’s but they’ll do. I find one of Simon’s hoodies, too and put that on. I need some tea.

Simon

Baz keeps checking and rechecking that we’ve packed everything we need for our stay in Oxford. It’s not like there’s a lot of it – we’re only staying one night. He’s been very quiet since I got home and trying to get a whole conversation out of him has been a non-starter, so I’m just leaving him to his thoughts. He’ll speak to me when he wants to and not before.

I watch him check the suitcase again. When he zips it up for about the fifth time I seize my chance to lift it off the bed. “I’m going to put this in the car, we should leave soon.” He nods silently.

I take the suitcase down to the car and put it in the boot with the bag of presents that is also going to Oxford. If I’m honest I’m nervous about spending the night with Baz’s family, too; I don’t like the way Baz shrinks into himself around them. Here, with me and our friends, he can be Baz - all Baz all the time. He can be a vampire and be gay and wear suits with big pink flowers on and hold my hand and no one whose opinion he cares about will raise an eyebrow. But with his family… he dresses in plain suits and holds himself stiffer. He wears his hair all slicked back like he used to at school and his vampirism is only acknowledged in euphemism; his queerness isn’t acknowledged at all. I don’t want to do this any more than he does, but he’s doing it for Daphne and I’m doing it for him.

I go back up to the flat and find Baz sitting on the bed sort of staring into space. I sit down next to him and put my arm round his shoulders, pulling him into me. “It won’t be as bad as you’re expecting,” I say. I don’t really believe it myself; it’s more a statement of hope than anything.

“I don’t know, Simon. My father…” he trails off. He’s looking down at his hands, fiddling with the ring I gave him.

“Baz,” I take his hand in mine. “We don’t have to tell them now. You could take the ring off while we’re there, I don’t mind.” I really don’t. If it were up to me I’d tell everyone. Strangers on the street. I’d shout it from the rooftops “I get to marry Baz Pitch, love of all my lives!” I think Baz would, too – he just doesn’t want to tell his father. I don’t blame him.

He meets my eyes then. His eyes are dark grey and sad; I think he feels like he’s letting me down. He couldn’t ever let me down; not after all the times I’ve let him down. He takes a breath. “Come on, let’s go.” He stands up and heads out of the bedroom. I open the top drawer of my bedside table and take out the ring box. I put it in my pocket, just in case.

***

I put the radio on in the car so we can listen to Christmas songs on the way to Lady Ruth’s. Baz rolls his eyes at me when I sing along but he doesn’t say anything or turn it off. I’m in the passenger seat holding a large potted poinsettia on my lap. Lady Ruth insisted on no presents but it felt rude not to bring something.

Baz takes the poinsettia from me when we arrive at Lady Ruth’s house and motions me through the door in front of him. Lady Ruth hugs me enthusiastically and takes my coat; the nice charcoal coloured one Baz bought me last year when I had my wings removed. “This is for you,” I say, gesturing to the plant that Baz is still holding.

“Oh Simon, now what did I say? You really shouldn’t have – oh!” She’s not looking at the plant, but at the pot; Baz’s hands are wrapped around it. “Basil,” Lady Ruth says, “are you wearing a ring?” She looks from me to Baz and back again, eyes wide.

I can feel myself blushing; I hadn’t meant to do it like this. “Uh, yeah, he is.” I feel a bit sheepish but I’m grinning, I can’t help it. I’m relieved to see Baz is smiling, too.

“Oh how wonderful!” She takes the plant from Baz and starts down the hallway. “Come into the kitchen where I can see it properly,” she stops at the bottom of the stairs to shout “Jamie! The boys are here, and they have news!” We follow her into the kitchen.

Lady Ruth deposits the poinsettia on the nearest worktop and immediately takes Baz’s hand, bringing it close to her face to inspect the ring. “How lovely,” she’s saying as Jamie comes through the door. “Congratulations darling.” Her voice sounds thick as she hugs Baz tightly. He hugs her back and I push away the thought that this is not the reaction we’re likely to get in Oxford.

“What’s happening?” Jamie asks, slightly bewildered but in an indulgent sort of way.

“We, uh, we’re engaged.” I tell him. It feels weird to say it “we’re engaged”. It’s surreal. Baz untangles himself from Lady Ruth and holds his hand up, showing Jamie the ring.

“Amazing; congrats man.” Jamie smiles wide at both of us and claps me on the shoulder.

“Thanks,” I grin back. Lady Ruth is wiping her eyes on a tea towel.

“Can I take your coat Baz?” Jamie asks; Lady Ruth forgot to take it in her excitement.

“Oh, Basil, I’m so sorry. I got completely carried away,” Lady Ruth fusses as Baz hands his coat to Jamie.

Lady Ruth has, as usual, made enough food to feed an army. There are cakes, finger sandwiches, pigs in blankets, gingerbread men, meringues, minces pies… it just goes on. The centrepiece is a large gingerbread house and a Christmas tree made from star shaped shortbread biscuits covered in green icing and stacked on top of each other.

“You’ve outdone yourself Ruth,” says Baz, immediately taking a mince pie from a platter when Lady Ruth motions for us to help ourselves. They get on so well you’d think she was his grandmother; watching them together makes me feel warm inside.

We eat and chat; Jamie asks me about work and Baz talks to Lady Ruth about magickal history - he’s a proper nerd about that sort of stuff. Eventually Jamie says “Mum, the guests will be here soon.”

“We’ll leave you to it then,” says Baz, standing up. “Thank you so much for having us, Ruth.” He’s so smooth it’s unbelievable.

“Before you go, boys, I have something for you, wait there.” She disappears for a minute and returns with two Christmas presents, wrapped in white paper with silver snowflakes on.

“Thank you, Ruth.” I say earnestly as she hands us one each.

“Open them now, boys. Let an old lady have her fun.”

Can’t argue with that. We both tear off the wrapping paper, Baz managing to look like less of an overgrown child than I feel. Under the paper is a knitted jumper. Mine is emerald green with a row of white snowflakes and Christmas trees across the chest. Baz’s matches mine but his is bright red.

“Did you make these?” I ask, incredulous.

“Well, there was some magic involved. They’re just silly things; you don’t have to wear them.” For the first time ever Lady Ruth looks sheepish.

“Impressive,” says Baz and I know he’s genuinely impressed; that’s complicated magic.

I step forward and hug Lady Ruth. “I love it. Thank you, Ruth.” I mean it, too; I do really like the jumper. I’m starting to feel a bit overwhelmed; my grandmother made me a Christmas jumper.

***

Baz is quiet again in the car; there’s no trace left of the relaxed Baz that just made conversation with my family for two hours. It makes me tense; I want to make this as easy as possible for him but I don’t know how. Baz always has the right words when I need him but he’s usually so unflappable and I don’t know what he needs right now; this is a whole new Baz to me.

Baz drives past the hunting lodge and parks the car next to a barn. I guess this must be the one we’re staying in. At least it’s not haunted like the house in Hampshire. He turns the engine off and leans his head back against the seat. I feel like I need to say something to reassure him, but I don’t know what. Usually I’m the one who needs reassuring, not him.

“Baz…” I start, not really sure where this is going. He turns his head to look at me. “Babe, look, we can handle this however you want, OK? Just say the word; I’ll follow your lead.” He’s frowning but for once I don’t think it’s at me.

He takes a deep breath. “Simon…” another breath, “I don’t want to do it right now, in front of the children. What if my father spots the ring right away, like Ruth did?” He looks me in the eyes and it’s painful to see how much this has got to him. I just want to make it stop; how do I make it stop? I want to tell him to drive us home. He can call Daphne and tell her we can’t come; he can say I’m ill or something. But I know he won’t do it; he promised Daphne he would spend Christmas with them.

I take the ring box out of my coat pocket and offer it to him. “Take the ring off, Baz, please. Don’t do this to yourself.” Baz frowns again and this time it is at me. “I wanted you to have the option, just in case.” I explain.

He sighs heavily and looks away from me, taking off the ring. I open the box and he pushes the ring into the gap in the little cushion. I put it in the glove box for safe keeping.

“Ready?” I ask him, squeezing his now bare hand.

He leans over and kisses me slowly. “Ready,” he says.

When we get to the front door Baz takes a moment to straighten his collar (it was already straight) and smooth his hair back (it was already smooth) and then he opens the door and steps through into the hallway.

“Hello? We’re here,” he calls as we take off our coats. A dog barks somewhere in the house and the sound of claws on wood floors is joined by several pairs of feet running towards us. The large and extremely fluffy dog beats the twins into the hallway, gets one whiff of Baz and immediately growls and backs up. Sophie and Petra (and I still don’t know which is which) push past the dog and run at Baz, arms wide. He lets them hug his legs for a moment and then says “Say hello to Simon, girls.”

“Hello Simon!” They both chant, wrapping themselves around my legs. I pat them awkwardly on the head. They’re wearing matching Christmas pyjamas with cartoon reindeer on.

Mordelia appears in the doorway and looks up from her phone. She flashes a genuine-seeming smile at Baz and then me. “Hi,” she says, “Mum’s just bathing Swithin. Dad’s gone to put the Nightmares in for the night; he’ll be back in a bit.” She goes back to her phone then and retreats back the way she came. Baz rolls his eyes at me; I’ve had to listen to him complain before about the kids all having phones and ipads. I think he’s just mad that he didn’t get a phone until he was fifteen.

The twins have let go of my legs and one grabs my hand while the other grabs Baz’s; pulling us into the living room. “Will you watch a Christmas film with us Simon?” my twin says.

“Please Baz,” says the other, “we want to watch Arthur Chirstmas!” my twin leads me over to the sofa, where she climbs onto my lap as soon as I sit down.

Mordelia is sitting in an armchair I suspect is usually Malcolm’s. She groans. “No, not again. Can’t we watch Love Actually?”

“That’s boring,” Baz’s twin says, wrinkling her nose. Baz picks her up as he sits down on the other end of the sofa, sitting her down on his lap, too.

“What about The Grinch?” I suggest. That was one of the films we used to watch every Christmas at the home when I was a kid.

“No,” says Baz. “We are going to watch the only Christmas film that matters: The Muppets Christmas Carol.” I had no idea Baz had a favourite Christmas film. Probably because I’ve ruined every Christmas we’ve been together. Baz would never say so, but I know I have. The first year I killed the Mage; the year after that I was having a complete breakdown; the year after that I actually wasn’t much better. Last year I had just had my wings off and I was starting to process everything that meant; I wasn’t as bad as the year before but I wasn’t exactly the personification of Christmas cheer, either. I really want him to have his own family Christmas this year; I am determined not to ruin it for him.

“Oh yes, I love the Muppets!” Daphne says from the doorway. She’s holding Baz’s little brother who is wearing a bright red onesie that says “SANTA I’VE BEEN VERY GOOD” on the front. “We used to watch it together every year, didn’t we Basil?”

“Hello Mum,” Baz says from his seat. He can’t get up to greet her because one of the twins (Sophie, Petra? How am I supposed to tell? How do they keep track of which one they are?) is still sitting on his lap. Daphne comes over and shifts Swithin onto her hip so she can bend down and kiss Baz on the cheek.

“Hello darling,” she says to him, and then she turns to me and kisses my cheek, too. “Hello Simon, merry Christmas.” I can feel the heat rising in my cheeks; this is a level of familiarity I’m not used to but Baz did say that Daphne wanted to make an effort with me, for his sake.

“Merry Christmas, Mrs Grimm,” I mumble awkwardly.

“Please, Simon, call me Daphne,” she insists breezily, going to sit in the other armchair. Swithin immediately wriggles off of her lap and comes over to the sofa where Baz and I are sat with the twins.

“Baz!” Swithin shouts. He’s just turned four but he doesn’t say very much and he’s got a bit of a lisp. Baz says his father’s worried about how it will affect his magickal ability. Apparently they’re sending him to a speech therapist. Poor kid, can't they just let him get there in his own time?

“Hello, Little Puff, do you want to sit up here?” Swithin holds his arms up and Baz leans around the child on his lap to pick Swithin up and settle him on the sofa in the small space between us. “Are you going to say hello to Simon?” Baz asks him.

Swithin looks up at me, “Simon!” he squeals. I laugh at the joy on his little face.

“Hello, Swithin. Shall we watch the Muppets?”

“Up-pets!” He squeals again. He only seems to squeal single words at a time, but he seems pretty happy about it.

We watch The Muppets Christmas Carol; Malcolm comes in and moves Mordelia out of his armchair just as Jacob and Robert Marley are warning Scrooge about the ghosts coming to haunt him. Swithin falls asleep under Baz's arm while Kermit and Tiny Tim are signing about there being one more sleep ‘til Christmas. The twins fall asleep before the Ghost of Christmas Future shows up – which seems like a good idea; he’s kind of scary.

When the film is over Daphne takes Swithin upstairs and Baz and I follow, each carrying one of the sleeping twins. Once the children are all settled in their beds we go back downstairs to the living room and make polite conversation. It’s awkward; more awkward than it usually is when I’m here. Malcolm seems to be employing a “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all” policy, which just means he doesn’t really talk to me. Baz has put that posh boy mask on; the one that looks and speaks a lot like Malcolm. I think he’s stressed about the whole situation so he’s properly retreated back into the old habits, as a sort of defence mechanism; or self-preservation.

Eventually, Daphne concludes that it’s late and the children will be up early, so we should probably go to bed. She comes over to the barn with us to get the presents we brought up so she can put them under the tree for the morning. I start unpacking the suitcase, looking for my toothbrush and pyjamas. Baz chats to Daphne; he seems more relaxed without Malcolm here.

Daphne opens the drawer of one of the bedside tables and pulls out a small and slightly battered cardboard box. “Basil, I found this in a box of old things in the loft when I was clearing out a few weeks ago. They belonged to your mother and I thought you might want them. I know how much you love music and well, so did Natasha.” She says quietly. I don’t know why but this feels like a particularly private moment so I busy myself with the suitcase on the other side of the room.

Baz

I didn’t know there was anything left of my Mother’s that I hadn’t already seen. Daphne is holding out this old shoebox which has no indication on it as to what it contains. I take it and remove the lid – it’s full of cassette tapes. “Thank you,” I say to Daphne and I mean it. I have some of my mother’s old records but she inherited them from her uncle, I think, so they are just that – old. That’s how I got into The Beatles. But she bought these herself; this was music she liked enough to go out and buy a copy of. This feels like the most tangible piece of her I’ve ever had. I put the box down on the bedside table and hug Daphne, who looks like she might cry (I might, too).

“I think you might find something particularly comforting about this collection, Basil.” She says seriously, looking me in the eyes as though she’s trying to tell me something telepathically. Then she turns to leave, stopping at the door to wish us both a good night.

Simon has been doing a poor job of pretending that he’s not in the room where he can hear everything we’ve said, but I’m grateful that he tried. I take the lid off of the shoebox again and start rifling through it, pulling tapes out at random. It looks like a who’s who of the 70s, 80s and early 90s charts – Boyzone, Abba, Take That, Kirsty McCall, T. Rex… There’s all sorts in here. But, as I start pulling more and more cassettes out of the box, I start to notice something.

Queen, Elton John, David Bowie, Melissa Etheridge, Culture Club, George Michael, Frankie Goes To Hollywood… Is this what Daphne meant?

“Baz,” Simon says quietly behind me. “You’ve gone very quiet, are you ok?” He’s standing behind me but not close enough to touch me or look over my shoulder at the tapes. I realise then that there are tears on my face. I take a deep breath and wipe them away, turning to face Simon, though I keep my head down. I nod but he knows it’s a lie. “Baz, what is it? What’s wrong?” He steps in closer and takes my chin in his hand, forcing me to look him in the face.

I sniff and give a small laugh that’s mostly breath and at least part sob. “The box is full of my mother’s old cassette tapes,” I explain, gesturing to the box. Simon steps around me to look at the tapes.

“It was nice of Daphne to give them to you. I wonder how they’ve been missing this long,” he says, picking up tapes at random and turning them over to read the track listings on the back of each case.

“Snow, look at this pile,” I indicate the stack of tapes I’d made on the table, beside the lamp. Simon picks up each one in turn; he hasn’t seen what I did, though. I didn’t really expect him to.

“I’ve heard of some of these guys,” he says, looking at David Bowie’s The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars and Queen’s The Works. Simon Snow generally has terrible taste in music but it’s hard to not hear about some of the biggest acts in the history of the music business.

“Of course you have,” I say, not bothering to muster the sneer his musical ignorance deserves. “David Bowie, Freddie Mercury, Elton John… they’re all musical geniuses. They redefined genres and pushed all sorts of boundaries. Freddie and Bowie are both gone now but they continue to inspire musicians to this day.” I can feel myself starting to monologue about this like the bad guys in those terrible superhero films Snow watches. I make an effort to stop myself going on.

Simon looks at me with a ridiculous, soft expression on his face like he’s indulging a child. “So your mum had a pretty good taste in music then?”

“It was OK,” I say, eyeing all the boy bands in the shoebox. “But that’s not the point. Do you know what all of these artists have in common?” I indicate the now scattered pile of tapes. Simon looks up at me, eyebrows furrowed, and shakes his head. I take another deep breath; I’m starting to cry again. “They’re all queer,” I say, my voice shaking.

“Oh,” Simon says quietly. “That’s good though, isn’t it? Your mum obviously didn’t hate queer people. Not enough to stop listening to their music, anyway. Not like all those idiots who tried to boycott Sainsbury’s after they had a gay couple in their advert.”

I wipe at my face again. “Yeah, I suppose so.”

“Baz-” Simon starts, putting a comforting hand on my upper arm. I don’t want to have this conversation right now; I need some time to make sense of it.

I cut him off, clearing my throat. “Look, Simon, I need to go and hunt, OK?”

“Uh, yeah. I’ll come with you,” he puts the tape he’s been holding back on the bedside table.

“Simon, no. Not tonight,” It comes out more pathetic sounding than I had intended and I think that’s why Simon relents so easily.

“OK,” he says, though he looks disappointed. I wonder if he’s thinking about the first time he kissed me, that night in the woods. In the fire.

“You go to bed, I won’t be long.” I try to make it clear that I’m not planning on starting any forest fires tonight. I leave before Snow can protest any more.

***

I take my time hunting, trying to sort through my thoughts. By the time I’m done (a badger and a fox) I still don’t know exactly how I feel. Daphne meant well, giving me those tapes, and I’m grateful for them. I can’t ever know for sure how my mother would have felt about me being gay, but Simon did have a point – she clearly didn’t hate gay people. She had to deliberately go out and buy those tapes. It’s one thing when it’s a celebrity you don’t know personally, though, and quite another when it’s your own family, your only son. I hear Fiona’s voice in my head, “we’ve got to make decisions for the living, you know?” I do. If Fiona gets her happy-ever-after with her scandalous marriage to a vampire… well, shouldn’t Simon and I get that, too?

When I get back to the barn, Simon is sitting on the bed looking at the tapes again. His hair is damp; he’s had a shower and changed into his pyjamas. He looks up at me. “OK?” he asks.

“Yeah, thanks. I thought you’d be asleep,” I say, taking my shoes off and going to sit next to him on the bed.

“I wanted to wait for you,” he mumbles, looking down at the box of cassettes on his lap. “You were upset when you left and-” he huffs out a breath and runs a hand through his damp curls, “I don’t know Baz. I don’t know what you need right now. You’re always there to solve things when I feel like this and now I don’t know what you need but I want to give it to you. I don’t want to be asleep on the job, you know?” He leans sideways so our shoulders touch and he rests his head against mine. Suddenly I feel lighter.

“Worried I was going to start another fire and you were going to have to rescue me with true love’s kiss again?” I say with a smirk, bumping my shoulder into his. He sits up and looks at me, exasperated by my sudden change in mood.

“You’re feeling better then,” he pokes me in the ribs; I knock my knee against his. “Oh, I found this in the drawer,” he reaches behind him and holds up an old portable cassette player; Daphne must have left it there. “I didn’t play any of the tapes though; I didn’t know if you’d want to.”

He hands me the tape player and I take it, looking at the buttons with their markings almost completely rubbed off from use. “Let’s play something,” I say. An odd sort of nervous energy runs through me. I know most of this music, but there’s another layer to it now; like my mother’s voice has been added to it. “You choose.”

Simon hands me the David Bowie album he was holding earlier, Ziggy Stardust; it hasn’t been rewound all the way. I put it in the tape player and press play. The opening notes of Starman play and I smile. Simon puts his arm around my waist and squeezes, I kiss his temple.

“Didn’t know what time it was, the lights were low oh oh...” Bowie sings.

Simon gets up off the bed and stands in front of me, holding out his hand, “c’mere Baz,” he says, grinning.

I raise an eyebrow at him but I take his hand and he pulls me upright. He keeps his hold on my left hand and puts his other arm around my waist, holding me there. I put my right hand on his shoulder, we’re not really moving – Snow can’t dance to save his life – but he sways us on the spot, still grinning at me.

“There’s a starman, waiting in the sky…”

I move my hand from his shoulder to the back of his head and kiss him, slowly at first and then deeply. I kiss him like he’s the first glass of water I’ve seen after weeks in the desert. “You’re such a beautiful idiot,” I tell him when I’m finished kissing him; he’s still grinning.

“He told us not to blow it…”

I step back from Snow and hold our still connected hands up over our heads. He takes the cue and spins clumsily underneath them, laughing. I catch his free hand in mine and dance with him the way you dance with children at parties. Snow’s skill is about the same. We’re both laughing.

“Let the children lose it, let the children use it, let all the children boogie…”

We dance like that for the rest of the song, me in my jeans and shirt, Simon in his pyjamas. Bare feet on the carpet. When the song ends Simon pulls me down onto the bed with him, we’re both still laughing. I reach over and stop the tape.

“Thank you Simon; this is just what I needed. I love you,” I tell him; sometimes I can’t stop myself from saying it. I’m not thinking about my mother, or Christmas dinner with my father, or anything else. I’m savouring what might be the best moment of my life; I don’t want to be anywhere else right now.

“I love you, too,” Simon says, leaning in to kiss me again. “And Baz, whatever you want to do tomorrow; whether you want to tell them or not, I’ll support you OK?”

“Thank you, Simon,” I whisper back. “Let’s go to bed love.”

[littledrummeraussie]

At Christmas All The Roads Lead Home | part 2

Christmas morning finds Ashton and Y/N reminiscing about their very first holiday together – with both of their flights cancelled the strangers make the hasty decision to rent a room until they can leave for their own destinations. The pair soon finds out that there’s much more than they’ve bargained for when there’s only one bed in their hotel room. story masterlist. | masterlist. word count: 3488 words tags/warnings: past: an unhealthy load of flirting. food sharing. some heart-to-heart talks. snowball fights. there’s still only one bed. & present: dad!Ashton. fem!mom!reader. married fluff with kids and a dog. Christmas morning cuteness. tooth rotting fluff. nostalgia. a healthy load of teasing.

“Do you think we could eat some more of that cookie we’ve left out for Santa?” Ashton nodded towards the kitchen, a grin spreading across his face. “We could tell the boys the reindeers ate them.”

“Daddy doesn’t have a sweet tooth, the reindeers do,” you lovingly rolled your eyes at him, hands sliding onto his face to pinch his cheeks, making him giggle.

“There’s something else Daddy loves that’s sweet,” his eyes were sparkling with mischief, hands sliding under your thighs to pick you up, and you muffled your squeal against his neck.

Your arms wrapped around his shoulders as he stood up, blankets falling to the floor in a heap. Ashton squeezed your butt lightly, brushing a smiley kiss onto your lips before adjusting you up on his hips, bringing you over to the kitchen. He put you up on the counter and stepped between your legs, already reaching for the plate of chocolate chip cookies you have baked the night before while he finished decorating the house with the boys. Their giggles still rang in your ears as you recalled them chasing each other through the kitchen, tiny arms wrapping around your legs for shelter before Ashton picked them up, pressing a series of kisses on their cheeks and noses, making them squeal with laughter.

Ashton broke a cookie in half before putting it in his mouth, leaning forward so you can bite into it as well, your lips lightly brushing in the middle. A smile pulled at your lips at this and the memory of how sharing Christmas cookies became a tradition for the two of you, something that now you also did with your sons. When the first batch was done you brought one over to the three of them; Tyler and Henry were cuddled into Ashton’s sides, watching a movie together while Bailey napped at their feet. Your heart was ready to burst with love as you watched him breaking the cookie into three, carefully giving the boys their own portions before sharing the remaining piece with you.

“What are you thinking about?” Ashton pushed himself up on his tiptoes, playfully biting your nose as he leaned closer, and you scrunched up your face, pulling back a little.

“You’re so weird. Why did I marry you?” you reached for another cookie and broke off a piece, bringing it to his mouth.

“Dunno. Why did you marry me?” he accepted the cookie from you, munching on it as he spoke. “I mean, the sex is really good, so…”

“Yeah, it was only for the sex,” you chuckled, curling a leg around his waist to pull him closer. “No, I was thinking about our day in London. How you stole half my croissant at breakfast.”

“Hey, I shared my panini with you,” Ashton gave you a faux pout. “And it was a damn good panini, thank you very much.”

“Yeah, I know, I brought you there,” you stuck your tongue out at him before popping a chocolate chip in your mouth. “Guess this is why I married you.”

“Because of the panini?” he furrowed his eyebrows and you leaned forward, pressing a kiss onto the bridge of his nose, stroking your thumb over his scruffy cheek.

“No, silly,” you shook your head, smiling at him “Because not a day has gone by without you making me laugh. Making me fall in love with you even more.”

*****

It surprised you how easy it was to convince Ashton to have breakfast with you in a small corner café instead of your hotel’s restaurant. Maybe it was the promise of fresh coffee and the world’s best panini, or maybe the offer that this time it will be you paying for both of your food. Either way you couldn’t complain as you’ve made your way towards the breakfast place.

“So what are your plans for today?” he asked as you both settled down at a table, waiting for your orders to arrive. “Or do we just walk around London all day long?”

“I mean, you’re welcome to go back to the hotel but I’ve thought we could make the most out of this situation,” you shrugged, giving him a smile. “I mean, when was the last time you’ve seen a winter wonderland like this in LA?”

“Can’t recall,” he chuckled, shaking his head. “But you have to promise me you’ll join at least one adventure of my choice today.”

“I mean – you were willing to come and have breakfast with me, so I guess that’s the least I can do.”

“We were sleeping in the same bed last night, having breakfast together is just the next step,” Ashton sent you a wink, one that could only be described as flirty. “And anyways, you’ve promised me the world’s best panini. Now I don’t know how you know that, but I trust you on this one. Can’t disappoint me now.”

“It is the best, I promise you.”

Before any of you could make another comment the waiter has arrived with your food and coffees, making both of you focus on your breakfast. You needed to stifle your laugh as Ashton moaned around his sandwich, clearly enjoying it as much as you’ve thought he would.

“Okay, you were right. This really is the best panini I’ve ever had,” he took another bite of it, eyes almost rolling back from how much he enjoyed it.

“Told you so,” you sipped you coffee with a smile, lightly kicking his foot under the table. “I wouldn’t have brought you here if it wasn’t the best.”

“Yeah, yeah, but your croissant is looking really good too…” his gaze moved from your face to the plate in front of you, and you quirked an eyebrow at him.

“Nooo. Don’t you dare…” but you were too late – a mischievous grin pulled at his lips as he quickly reached across the table to snatch up your breakfast, taking a hearty bite of it. “Ashton!”

“That’s a damn good croissant too,” he munched on it between words, and you rolled your eyes at him, laughing at his antics.

“I’m really glad, but you just ate my breakfast,” you kicked his foot again playfully, and he curled his ankle around yours, making heat crawl up your neck.

“Here,” he placed his plate in front of you, giving you another smile. “You can have the other half of mine.”

“Giving up your panini for me? What a gentleman,” you took a bite of the offered sandwich as Ashton kept eating your croissant. “Guess we’re getting better at sharing?”

“Yeah, I think we are,” he rested his chin in his hand, still smiling softly at you.

Your legs stayed tangled together under the table until you’ve finished breakfast.

*****

“It was one of the best days of my life,” Ashton pulled you to the edge of the counter, wrapping both your legs around his waist as he hugged you, face hidden in the crook of your neck. “I never wanted it to end.”

“And to think we were both on our way back home…” you hummed in agreement, fingers slowly brushing through his curls.

“We were already home,” he mumbled against your skin, lips pressing a soft kiss on your jaw. “We just didn’t know it yet. That home is not a place, but a person.”

*****

“You know, there’s something I’ve wanted to ask you since yesterday,” Ashton’s shoulder brushed against yours as the two of you made your way back to the hotel.

“So why didn’t you?” you let yourself slightly bump into him, making him let out a chuckle.

The day was spent walking around London and getting lost in the snowy city, window shopping and buying whatever food or drink one of you started craving. Both of you ended up with a few trinkets and last minute gifts that you just couldn’t leave behind before Ashton treated you to lunch, claiming that he also knows places you have to try out. He shared stories with you about the time he spent in England, how snowball fights with the boys were his favourite past time around this time of year, and in the end he made good on his promise and dragged you out to ice skating even though none of you have done it in years.

“What were you doing here?” he finally asked, tucking his hands in his pockets. “I mean before you were meant to go home.”

“You really wanna know?” you chuckled and he nodded, making you continue. “One of my friends came up with the brilliant idea to have a singles trip. Guess her bucket list included something about hooking up with a British guy but she didn’t want to come alone, so she dragged us with her. We rented a house and just had fun there, or went out to meet people, you know. She did find herself a guy, and it looked kinda serious, so I guess it wasn’t for nothing.”

“But you were alone at the airport,” your path led you through a park and Ashton kicked one of the snow piles, not looking up at you. “Did something happen?”

“I wanted to stay for a day or two,” you shrugged then a moment later let out a sigh. “I didn’t actually want to go home.”

“Why?” Ashton stopped and blinked at you, the confusion clear on his face. “I’ve thought you couldn’t wait to be back in LA.”

“There’s nothing wrong with LA. Just… going home means I have to go home, to see my family, and those visits usually end up, well– let’s just say they care too much about my personal life.”

“Is there someone waiting for you at home?” he stepped closer, the toes of his boots touching your shoes, and you looked up at him, shrugging.

“Does the guy my parents want to set me up with count?” at that Ashton let out a breath, cheeks turning slightly pink as a smile pulled at his lips.

“No, I don’t think so,” he chuckled, and you did the same, slowly continuing your way back to the hotel. “What about here?”

“What do you mean?” you had a pretty good idea what he was asking, but wanted to hear it from him.

“Have you met someone in London?” his shoulder bumped into yours again, and you stopped, eyes meeting after a few seconds.

“Do you count?” you quirked an eyebrow, the slightest bit of flirt in your voice.

“Maybe…” it was Ashton’s turn to shrug, his face turning another shade of red as he kicked the snow with his boots, quickly casting his gaze down.

“Then yeah. Maybe,” you stepped away with a giggle, making sure you brushed against him. “Are you coming? I don’t wanna miss dinner, Irwin.”

Ashton shook his head with a little laugh, scurrying after you. He fell into step with you, quickly picking up your previous conversation about his early days in London as you made your way across the park.

“…and then Calum somehow locked himself out in his boxers and– Y/N? Where ar– fuck, that’s cold!”

You laughed as Ashton turned around, shoulders pulled up and jaw clenched as he realized you just hit him with a snowball. You already had another one at the ready, and you could see the flash in his eyes as he dropped his shopping bags, reaching for the closest pile of snow.

“Oh no, you didn’t…” he gave you a grin, aiming at you.

“I think I just did!” you shouted at him, giggling as he missed hitting you with the snowball just by a few inches.

“I’m gonna get you, you can’t run away!” Ashton suddenly started running towards you, and you shrieked with laughter as he chased you through the park.

You felt his arms wrap around your waist, both of you crashing to the ground in a fit of giggles, trying to catch your breaths. His pupils were blown wide, lips slightly chapped but so kissable as he pushed himself up, looking at you like it was the first time. A second passed, maybe two, then he collapsed next to you on his back, giggling again.

“Told ya I’ll get you.”

“You still couldn’t hit me with a snowball,” you poked his side which made Ashton laugh even more.

“God, you hit my neck! It’s all the way down my shirt! I’m soaked!” he let out one last chuckle before looking at you.

“You can shower first when we get back,” you smiled at him and he just nodded. “We don’t want you to catch a cold.”

“Can we go back now?” Ashton pouted at you, pairing it with his best puppy dog eyes, and you stifled another laugh, sitting up.

“Sure,” you reached for his hand, none of you feeling the cold around you when your fingers touched. “Come on, Australia. Let’s go home.”

*****

Someone started moving upstairs and both of you stopped in your tracks, listening to the sounds coming closer and closer to the stairs. A moment later you’ve heard a thump, and soon Bailey appeared next to you, stretching and yawning.

“Well, good morning to you too, boy,” Ashton reached down to give him an ear scratch, and Bailey nuzzled against his palm. “Is everything okay upstairs?”

The dog nudged Ashton’s knee before turning around and making his way to the door. Ashton leaned back to you, pressing a kiss on your cheek before nodding towards Bailey.

“I’ll let him outside. Don’t go anywhere.”

“Sure, hot stuff,” you chuckled, and Ash wiggled his eyebrows at you. “Bring him back for some biscuits!”

A few minutes later the dog was already back in the kitchen and you slid down from the counter, reaching for the treats he loved the most. You saw Ashton smiling as you crouched down to Bailey, petting his muzzle as he patiently waited for his treats. He nuzzled against your side before starting munching on the biscuits, taking them one by one from your palm.

“Who’s a good boy? Yes, yes you are, Bailey, you are a good boy,” you stroked his side as you talked to him, and Ashton joined you too, scratching his ear again.

“Did you know I’ve got him for you because you’ve told me you wanted a dog for Christmas?” Ashton caught your eyes over Bailey’s head, and you bit your bottom lip, blushing.

“I didn’t think you remembered,” you confessed. “I just thought it was a lucky coincidence.”

“No, I did remember. I’ve been waiting for the perfect time to get you a dog, and thought our first Christmas as the Irwins would be it. Of course, I didn’t know you were pregnant, in that case I would have thought about it twice, but I wasn’t about taking him to a shelter just because of that.”

“I’m still amazed you gave up your precious garden just so me and the boys could have a dog,” you gave the last biscuit to Bailey, and Ashton beamed, a blush on his cheeks.

“I love you. I love the boys. And I love Bailey. A garden is just a garden – but you’re my family, and I would do anything for you,” he squeezed your hand, and you tangled your fingers together.

“I couldn’t ask for more. And I love you too, Ash. So much.”

*****

By the time Ashton got out of the shower your dinner had been brought up to your room, so he settled down next to you, knees slightly pressed together as you ate your food. A blanket was wrapped around his shoulders, and you joked if he was trying to protect himself from another snowball, for which he just stuck his tongue at you.

“Really funny, Y/N,” he rolled his eyes, a smile playing at the corner of his mouth.

“I do think it was funny,” you stifled your giggle, and he poked your knee with his finger, making you laugh even more.

“You’re still weird. I kinda like it,” he said, almost as an afterthought, but before you could react to that he already moved onto something else. “What about the cookie? Did they send that up for us as well?”

“No, that was actually me,” you confessed, and you suddenly felt a bit shy and embarrassed. “I would say it’s a peace offering, but– it’s a Christmas tradition in my family.”

“Now you have my attention,” Ashton put his elbow on his knee, resting his chin in his palm. “You’re gonna tell me?”

“Okay, traditionally it’s a Christmas apple not a cookie, but it was easier to get this one,” you started, pulling your legs under you. “They say that those who are together at Christmas and share an apple then they are all going to spend the next Christmas together too. It’s something my family has been saying and doing since forever, and… I mean, it’s Christmas Eve and we’re both here and not at home where we thought we will spend the holidays and…”

Ashton reached for your hand and squeezed it, tangling your fingers together. He gave you an encouraging smile, nodding a little to go on.

“I just thought that– that this could be something that we could do? Just a little piece of home while we’re here,” you mumbled, not really daring to look up at him. “It’s silly, I know. I’m being weird, I’m sor–”

“No! No,” Ashton turned towards you, thumb brushing over your cheek. “It’s really lovely. I really like the sentiment behind it.”

You felt your cheeks heat up and you quickly reached for the cookie, holding it up for Ashton. He grabbed the other half and broke it off, never looking at the baked good but at you, even when he brought it to his mouth to take a bite.

“So – does this mean you want to spend next year’s Christmas with me again?” he chuckled, munching on his cookie and you shrugged, a small smile pulling at your lips.

“Who knows, we might get stuck at the airport again. In that case it’s good to know I have someone who’s willing to share his room with me.”

“If we’re both in LA next year I’ll make sure to share a cookie with you at Christmas,” Ashton winked, his other hand still holding onto yours.

“Sounds like a promise,” you chuckled, taking another bite of your cookie.

It was around midnight when both of you found your ways to your shared bed after watching a tacky Christmas movie or two. Ashton was already wrapped in his blanket when you came back from the bathroom, slipping under your own sheets. He propped himself up, cheek resting against his palm as he looked at you and you turned towards him, blinking up at him.

“What would be your ultimate Christmas present?” he asked, voice soft and curious. “What is something you hope to find under the tree?”

“A dog, maybe,” you answered after some time, a smile pulling at the corner of your mouth and you saw Ashton mirroring you. “I miss having one. Would love to have someone waiting for me when the day is over.”

“Yeah, they have that effect on you,” he reached towards you, tucking a lock of hair behind your ear. “They are great company. I have one back in Australia – kinda miss little old Indie.”

“That’s a cute name. I would love to see them,” you rubbed your cheek against your pillow, getting comfortable. “What about you?”

“I have everything,” he chuckled, shaking his head. “The only thing I wish is to see my family. I really miss them, haven’t had the chance to go home since forever. I’m really lucky with my life and job, but family is family. They’ll always be on top on my list.”

“I’m sure we will be able to travel in a day or two. Snowstorms aren’t forever. You’ll be home before you know it,” your eyes moved to the window where you could still see the snow slowly falling. “And me too.”

“While I do miss being at home… right now I couldn’t ask for more,” Ashton whispered, and you knew there was something he wasn’t saying, something that you felt too.

“Me neither,” you shook your head with a smile, slowly closing your eyes. “Good night, Ash.”

“Remind me to show you a picture of Indie tomorrow,” he lightly chuckled, and you felt him brush another lock of hair away from your forehead. “Good night, Y/N. Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas,” you mumbled, already drifting away.

You still heard Ashton quietly humming, something that sounded a lot like I’ll Be Home For Christmas, and you could swore you felt him moving a little closer before you fell asleep.

Morning found you with fingers lightly tangled together between the two of you, his touch warm and comforting, and – even in this strange city – feeling a lot like home.

------------------------------------------------

» part 1 » part 2 » part 3 » part 4

taglist.

@mymindwide @loveroflrh @sadistmichael @notinthesameguey @babylonashton @talkfastromance4 @dead-and-golden @fuckyeah5sostakemehome @karajaynetoday  @myfavfanficsever @myloverboyash @suchalonelysunflower @sexgodashton @rebelwith0utacause @creampiecashton @irwinkitten @allthestarsandthemoon @castaway-cashton @spicycal @wontlastimokwiththat @luckyduckydoo @sunshineeashton @2fangirl4u @talkfastdrummer @pastelbabygirl19 @istantommoandtpwk @perfectlieirwin @thesweetness-irwin-archive @c-a-l-m-hood @youngblood199456 @tiannaxox2 @caffeinecalum @fanficsandotherthings @melanindarling

[eatsleepandsupernatural]

Soy Sauce and Sam

Request: Hi! I'm wondering if you could write a ABO one shot or whatever with one of the brothers with a male reader? Could it also be fluff, please? It could be anything you want

Pairings: MaleOmega!Reader x Alpha!Sam Winchester

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1820

A/N: Hey Guys! First of two request filled! Again so sorry for the absence! Hope you like this one, I loved writing it! Another ABO request and Saved Chapter coming soon. 

Masterlist

   You struggle to stay calm as you glance at the mess around you. Your sister always made it look easy and now you wanted to throw it all into the bin and give up. You have soy sauce in your hair, vegetables litter the floor and the chicken you are trying to cut up looks like it has been massacred by a hammer. All you want to do is to make dinner for your Alpha, but you can’t cook to save your life. He and Dean are due to be home from their hunt any minute now and the first thing they’ll do is come and check on you. You don’t know how you are going to explain this mess. You dip your finger in the home-made teriyaki sauce and bring it up to your mouth. You don’t want to, but you need to know if you’re going to have to tip it out and start over or not. You knock the bowl off the bench with a groan, too much soy sauce. This is an absolute disaster. 

   ‘Dude, what have you done to my kitchen?’ You freeze at the sound of Dean’s voice and grimace at the mess surrounding you. 

   ‘The bin exploded.’ You say, speaking before thinking is one of your many bad habits that always seems to get you in more trouble than necessary. 

   Dean raises his eyebrows, arms crossed. ‘You know you’re going to have to clean all this up. And if I find out that you ask Cas to help again, I’ll tell Sam about your midnight snacks.’

   You understand that Dean felt very strongly about the kitchen, but you aren’t a child. You are about to mouth off when Sam appears in the doorway, immediately stopping you in your tracks. 

   ‘What the hell?’ His wide eyes take in the mess before landing on you. 

   ‘He trashed my kitchen.’ Dean interjects, waving his arms around aggressively. 

   ‘I’m sure there is a reasonable explanation, (Y/N)?’ Sam replies, always the peacemaker.

   ‘I can’t cook.’ You supply, leaning against the bench for support. You are still disappointed at your lack of culinary talents, but you’re calmer now that Sam has arrived. ‘And Dean, I may be an Omega, but I’m not a kid. I know how to clean up after myself.’ 

   Dean’s eyes flash briefly with an uncontrolled instinct but he shakes it off and offers you an apologetic smile. You roll your eyes in response and give him the finger. 

   ‘If you can’t cook, why did you try?’ Sam questions, obviously still confused.

   ‘I wanted to cook you dinner, didn’t really work out.’ You say gesturing to the mush of raw chicken. 

   ‘No, I suppose not.’ He replies with pursed lips. You knew that expression, he is trying not to laugh. You glance over at Dean, to see that he isn’t trying to hide his amusement at all. 

   ‘Whatever, I didn’t have high hopes anyway. It probably would have tasted like shit.’ You try to hide your disappointment behind a nonchalant persona.

   ‘Alright, well I’m going to leave you two lovebirds here.’ Dean says turning to leave the kitchen. ‘Don’t burn the kitchen down.’ He speaks before disappearing completely.

   ‘Asshole.’ You mutter, as you turn your back on Sam, crouching down to clean up the vegetables that had ended up on the ground. 

   ‘What were you trying to make?’ Sam asks, poking at the chicken, ‘this looks almost salvageable’ 

   You scoff, throwing a handful of vegetables in the bin, ‘Teriyaki Chicken.’ 

   ‘Ah, that explains the soy sauce.’ Sam chuckles quietly, grabbing some paper towel to wipe it up. ‘Do you want to restart, try again?’ 

   You meet his eye for the first time since Dean left the room, ‘No, Not really. I’m too pissed off.’ 

   ‘Do you want a hug?’ 

   You pause halfway to the bin and turn around to face him, ‘Does it look like I want a hug?’ 

   Sam looks you over for a minute, smiling calmly. ‘It looks like you want to punch something, but I thought a hug might be even better.’ Discarding the soaked paper towels, he holds his arms up, an open invitation for you to seek comfort in his warmth. You can’t say no. 

   You dump the veggies you’re holding into the bin and walk back over to him, leaning into his embrace. You don’t hesitate to nuzzle further into his chest, scenting him, the smell of leather, books and hair product surrounds you in a calming blanket. Although you would never admit, you love the way Sam is able to calm you so easily. Not even your parents were able to do that. 

   ‘Better?’ 

   ‘Of course. What are we going to do now? I ruined dinner.’ You tighten your grip on Sam, still needing the calm scent he was releasing. 

   ‘Well, if you let go of me, maybe I could help you? We could probably use some of the chicken, I’ll sort through it and cut some more, if you cut up some fresh vegetables.’

   ‘I don’t want to let go, or cut vegetables.’ You mutter into his chest.

   ‘Don’t you want dinner?’ 

   ‘Not if it means having to let go.’ 

   Now that you had him, you didn’t want to lose him. The day has been long and stressful, you hate when he leaves to go on hunts and cooking is now your worst enemy. 

   Sam understands this and finishes clearing up the rest of your mess with you attached to his arm. He leads you through the library, where Dean is resting with his feet up on the table and a beer in hand. 

   ‘Kitchen’s clean, but raincheck on dinner.’ Sam says, gesturing to you next to him. 

   Dean raises his eyebrows at the sight. It’s not often that you allow yourself to be vulnerable in front of him and after a sharp look from Sam, he has to bite back whatever rude comment he was about to say. 

   ‘I can see that.’ He mumbles. 

   ‘If you wouldn’t mind getting dinner, please. I don’t mind where it’s from, just one of the usual places. (Y/N) and I will make dinner tomorrow.’ 

   Dean eyes Sam, before nodding and standing up. ‘I’ll be back in half an hour.’ 

   Sam turns around, making his way back to the room you share, your arms still wrapped tightly around his waist. Once in his room, he pulls you off and gently sits you down on the bed, passing you one of his jackets. ‘Wear this, I’ll be back in a second.’ 

   Sam is gone before you can protest and you press your face into his jacket. 

   ‘What the hell is wrong with you?’ You mutter to yourself. You know that sometimes when Sam gets back from a hunt you get clingy, but this is a whole new level. 

   Sam comes back in with a pile of clean clothes which he dumps onto the bed. ‘Alright shoes off.’

   ‘What are we doing?’ You did what he told you to, but not without questioning his sanity.

   ‘We’re snuggling.’ He replies, hopping up on the bed, creating a nest with the pile of clothes he brought in.

   You frown at him, still confused. ‘Why?’ 

   Sam pauses what he is doing to look up at you, ‘I think, because of what happened in your past, and our still fairly new relationship, you're starting to experience feelings of anxiety when we are separated. I’m guessing you've been ignoring them, channelling your nerves into something productive like cooking, which is good. But every time I’ve come back from a hunt, you’ve been slowly getting more and more attached. It’s okay, but it’s something we’re going to have to work on.’ 

   You are so embarrassed you almost leave the room, but the look Sam gives you is one of complete adoration and love. So you slide into his embrace, and find yourself completely surrounded by him and his scent. 

   ‘How long have you known?’ You ask, snuggling into his chest. 

   ‘I suspected it a while ago, I believe today confirms it though, don’t you?’ He pulls me closer to him and runs his hand up and down my arm. 

   ‘I’m sorry.’ 

   ‘(Y/N), you’ve got nothing to be sorry for, we all have our moments. Anyway, do you just want to snuggle or do you want to put on a show?’ 

   You remove your face from your Alpha’s warm chest to meet his caring gaze. ‘Can we just stay like this? I missed you.’ 

   ‘Of course. So, aside from making a mess in the kitchen, what else did you get up to the last few days?’ 

   You are ashamed to say that you didn’t do anything besides your failed attempt at dinner. You spent most of the time watching TV in bed. And when you weren’t doing that you were trying to get into the locker where they keep the guns so you could practice shooting. You wanted to go on hunts, but Sam wouldn’t let you. Stupid Alpha. 

   ‘Not much, just TV’, you tell him. 

   Sam chuckles, ‘So you didn’t try to break into the gun locker?’ 

   ‘Nooo…’ 

   ‘Nice try, you left the light on in the armoury, and a lock pick next to the locker. You couldn’t have tried to be more obvious. What distracted you?’ Sam’s voice had hardened a little and you could feel a scolding coming. 

   ‘I noticed what time it was, I had to start cooking.’ 

   Sam laughs quietly before bringing up the topic you knew he would. ‘(Y/N), I don’t want you hunting.’ 

   You sat up, frustration building in your stomach. ‘Sam, I’m not some weak, helpless little female Omega. I may be an Omega, but I’m not completely breakable. Sure I’m smaller than men who are Beta’s or Alpha’s but why does that automatically put me on house arrest?’

   Sam sighs, he gave you a look that told you he knew this was coming. ‘I know you aren’t weak and I know you hate it when I say it's for your protection, but it really is. There are no Omega’s in the FBI or any other law enforcement agency. That means we’d be leaving you alone in a motel, and that’s a big no. And if you’re there fighting alongside me, I’m going to be more worried about you, than myself or the person we are trying to save.’ 

   He brought his hands up to cup your face and gently kissed your forehead. ‘I’m sorry (Y/N), but I just can’t have you hunting.’ 

   ‘Sammy, (Y/N)! Food!’ 

You sigh loudly, and move to push Sam away but he grabs your wrist. ‘I understand you’re upset. I’m sorry, I really am. But you are safer here, it’s as simple as that. You just have to trust that I’ll come back.’ He gives you a small smile, getting up and moving to the door. 

   ‘By the way, you still have soy sauce in your hair.’ 

[uhgoodmoni]

Our Clock is Ticking | KTH

After a post Christmas breakup with his girlfriend Taehyung is celebrating New Years alone in a hotel. The ball drops, yet 2021 doesn’t come. 

Warnings: angst and some fluff

Ao3 - Wattpad

(Taehyung POV)

I pull my lips together in a frown, glancing down at the last text I sent. 

‘Merry Christmas I guess’ 

‘Read at 1:34 am’

A deep sigh heaves from my chest. Yeah. Merry fucking Christmas and a Happy New Year. Stuck in an unfamiliar country in an unfamiliar town by my damn self. Guess we picked the perfect time to pick a fight. I bring my eyes to the clock. It’s 5:00 pm on New Year’s Eve. I could be at home with the rest of the boys but nooo. She had to drag me out to see her damn family and then pick a fight with me so I’m stuck spending the holiday alone. 

My head falls back against the couch. What the fuck am I going to do now? It’s already passed the new year in Korea, but maybe I’ll call someone. Jimin… Yoongi. I don’t know. What would I even say? Hey, Mara and I broke up yesterday, and now I’m alone on New Years. Tch. Yeah. As much as I’d love to spill my guts out to them I’ve cried so much this week I feel just like shit. At this point, I just want to fly back home.

Luckily I was able to snag a flight back to Seoul for tomorrow. Not that it didn’t cost a lot, but there’s no way I’m spending another day here to wallow in my self-pity. 

The phone screen still shines up in my eyes and I look one more time. A tiny circular picture of her sits at the top of our text. Her tongue stuck out to touch the camera when I took the photo. Silly. 

When I take that flight tomorrow, will I ever see her again? I grind my teeth together, my thumb pressing against the power button. Despite how much anger is burning inside me, I hope the answer is yes. 

‘I’ll be happier if I lived this next year without you.’ She really said that. I roll over onto my side, curling up on the cushions. She’s probably right. I honestly did make everything harder for her. She was always so understanding though. I wonder if she even meant it. 

I sniff, wiping at a stray tear I hadn’t noticed. I’d like to think that she didn’t mean it. That she was just angry and it spilled out after all the dumb shit I said. Or what maybe I didn’t say. A shaky breath leaves my body, and my eyes clench shut. Oh, why can't I stop thinking about it? 

Maybe she did mean it. I had never seen her say something with more conviction and anger, her body shook as she had screamed it at me. Her face had gone red like the wine we were drinking. I’m sure that fueled our anger too. But there had to be some backing behind her words. Even if this fight had been the last straw there were so many feelings leading up to this. Every night she spent waiting up for me. How could I not see her patience running out? Slowly but surely our clock had been ticking. Every time we greeted each other, said goodbye, kissed. Had her patience been running out then too? 

Even I knew we weren’t fine. Fuck. I should have said something. Maybe I didn’t tell her how much she means to me often enough. Probably not. Of course, she cracked for the holidays. But did she really have to be so cruel?

I glance up from the couch, feeling the vibrations of a phone call. Damnit, I was hoping to avoid talking to anyone for the whole night. Should have figured, they are probably missing me. I sigh looking at the contact. Hoba hyung, a facetime. Not even just a voice call. Internally I groan looking myself in the reflection on my screen and making sure I don’t look like the shit I feel like. 

After a deep breath, I answer the call. “Heyyy hyung…” I try and push away everything that has happened. If I tell him he’ll just be worried for no reason. 

“Taeee, Happy New Year.” I smile lightly looking at him. He looks tired cause he probably stayed up all night. 

I grin, trying to hide away the frown that was stuck on my face. “Hobaa why are you awake so early?” He raises an eyebrow and just shakes his head. 

“Just am I guess, and knew you’d be awake so I wanted to call you. How’s the holiday with the missus?”

It’s awful. I said something inconsiderate and ruined the whole thing. We were drinking and I took her defensiveness as an attack on me. Maybe it was maybe it wasn’t. Doesn’t matter. We broke up and she said she doesn’t want to spend another year of her life with me. Now I’m sad and alone on New Years’ Eve. Probably won’t even watch the ball drop. Soak up my misery. I still have that bottle of wine I bought. 

At least that’s what I wanted to tell him. And I will. Eventually. Just not today. 

“She’s with the fam they are cooking in the kitchen.” I grin and he seems satisfied with that. Hobi is always fooled by my lies. Part of me wished that Jimin or Yoongi had called. They’d be able to call out my bullshit…

“Well, I shouldn’t bother you then you better go help…” 

“Yeah… well, how was your night last night?” I say, trying to get him to stay on the call a little longer. Damn, I wish I could go home. 

“You know… the usual. Jin passed out right after midnight. Me too.” He giggles. “But the others I guess you could say partied. Not really but we had fun.” I smile at this. Wish I had been there with them. 

“Wish I had been there.” I sigh, but smile softly to him, hoping to not reveal how I really feel. 

“No, you don’t silly. Go have fun!” He winks to me, “You’ll see us in a couple days anyway.” 

“You’re right.” I nod not feeling like telling him I’ll actually be on my way back tomorrow. It stays silent for a moment as he smiles up to me. 

“Stay safe and tell Mara I say hi!” He waves and I only nod. 

“Bye.”

“Bye.” He says and hangs up. Well… I look at the clock seeing it’s only been about ten minutes since I last checked the time. It’s gonna be a long night. 

~

My palms press into my skull. Trying to nullify the ache resonating in the back of my head. Oh shit. I groan, shielding my eyes as I tentatively open them. Trying to bring myself to life I lick my lips, the taste of that wine leftover on my breath. I cringe, taking a deep breath. Did I really end up drinking last night? I thought that wasn’t the plan. I lift my head from my pillow seeing the bottle resting on the counter. Still full. I swear I could remember at least drinking at least a glass though. Except now I no longer taste the wine on my tongue. As if it had never been there in the first place. 

I exhale and plop my head back down. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb. Fuck. 

Again I lift my head up, searching for my phone on it’s charger. What time is it? Oh God what if I slept too late and missed my alarm. 

2:34 pm. Fuck.

I pull up my ticket on my phone. 4:30 pm. Could I make it in time? Might as well try… I read over the confirmation email. 

Thank you for your purchase… Your flight is for 1/1/2021 4:30 pm.

I toss myself from the bed, heading to my suitcase. Should I change? Do I have time? At least I should brush my teeth. I flick through the email, feeling like I’m forgetting something as I shuffle to the bathroom. 

Sent at 2:00 pm. 

I squint my eyes at this. Specifically remembering that I got this email yesterday and not today. Maybe it’s like a reminder. I shrug and wet my toothbrush.

An alarm sounds from my phone as I set it down making me jump. I scrunch up my face remembering I had a headache, but it’s not really bothering me anymore.

 I look at the alarm… a reminder I set for myself. But it was supposed to go off yesterday. It did go off yesterday. 

Reminder: flight tomorrow leave by 1:30.

I shake my head, lifting my head to the mirror. I look like shit, but I have this whole week let's be honest. Setting my toothbrush down I pull up my calendar. Did I get it wrong or something? No, my flight confirmation definitely says the first. 

I glance at the little red dot on the calendar indicating the date. 12/31/2020. Pressing my lips into each other, I raise an eyebrow staring at the screen for a minute. It has to be wrong. I almost laugh to myself. Am I crazy? 

I check the time again on my phone. 2:40 Thursday, December 31. 

Have I completely mixed up the dates? I could swear that yesterday was New Years Eve. I push my hair back, looking back into the mirror. Though I didn’t watch the ball drop so maybe I was just mistaken. 

Just to be sure, I look up the airport’s number, and give them a call. There’s no chance I’m missing the flight. After a confusing phone call they confirm my suspicions. My flight isn’t until tomorrow. Feeling very confused I finish brushing my teeth and start running the shower. How could I have mistaken yesterday for New Years Eve? I guess it happens. But I so clearly remember the date. Hoseok even called me wishing for me to have a good night. Had I imagined that as well?

After being refreshed from the heat of the shower I check my phone’s history. No call from Hoseok, which means I must have been in a daze of grief. Still, It doesn’t feel right. The call is so fresh in my mind.

I look to the clock after cleaning up my room. It was a mess. I hadn’t picked anything up and would have had to pack last minute in the morning if I left it that way. Despite wishing I was on that plane back to Seoul right now. I feel much better than I did yesterday. I should stay productive, keep my mind off things. 

Time has gone by particularly slow today. Even after cleaning up myself and packing for tomorrow. I’ve been avoiding my feelings all day. I resorted to playing on Weverse and messing with Duolingo. Despite wanting to write, I knew that I would just dig myself into a hole. 

Maybe this time around I’ll call Hoseok. I don’t want to wake him up though. It’s still early and I know he’ll want to sleep in after the late night last night. 

‘You awake?’ I text the group chat. Maybe Jin or I don’t know, anyone to save me from my thoughts will answer. Though, maybe it’s a good idea to talk about it with one of them. Maybe they could tell me what to do. Ugh, it’s so confusing. Even though Mara said she never wants to see me again I doubt that she really meant that. Right? I certainly don’t want that to be the last time we ever see one another. I swallow. She was so angry. So upset. Her hands shook as the tears streamed down her face, and she sniffed trying to hold back the storm behind her eyes. And I just stood there. Like a jackass. A deer in headlights. Didn’t cry. I couldn’t, I didn’t want to react, cause I thought she was overreacting. She shouldn’t have cared so much about what I said. It wasn’t meant to make her so upset. 

My face finds the palms of my hands. I’m so dumb. What the fuck possessed me to be such an asshole? All she wanted was for me to care and I didn’t. But I do. I really do. My cheeks form a blush as my face heats from the tears. I press into my temples willing myself not to cry. Stupid.

Feeling the buzzing of my phone, I look down. It’s Hoseok, and I huff before answering.

“Hey Tae bear!” He greets happily in my ear. I try to smile but I just want to be with him and not on this dumb call. Instead of being alone I wish I was home. 

My eyes start to water and a horrible feeling starts crawling up my throat. I know that if I try to speak I’ll just… 

“Are you there?” 

I swallow, trying to push back this feeling. But I can’t, It’s pushing back. Tears prick at my eyes, and I just want Hoseok to be here to hold me. Despite trying so hard to hold the tears in, the feeling overwhelms me and washes over me. I heave out a hard sob. Revealing a feeling I had been holding back all day. My breaths are fast and choppy as the tears roll, and I cling to the phone curling my knees into my abdomen. 

“Tae… Are you okay?” He sounds worried. I try to slow my breaths and answer him but I can’t. It just. I squeeze my fists. I hate this feeling. 

The stream of tears doesn’t stop as I hug myself closer. “Sorry…” I barely hiccup out.

“Taehyung are you okay? Are you hurt? What’s happening?” I shake my head, pressing my eyes into my knees. The tears soak at my pants and I take a deep breath, sighing out slowly to try and relax. 

“I’m sorry Hobi…” I sniffed, should have figured that would have happened. Wiping away at my face with my shirt sleeves, I start to explain. “Mara and I... it’s over.” I bite my cheek to hold my composure.

“Tae what happened?” he asks, sounding confused. Great, I shake my head. I just want to be with him. I don’t want to have to deal with this phone call. “I told her she doesn’t do enough.” I deadpan, taking in my own words myself. “I said that.” My heart twists, causing more tears to wring out from my eyes. Knowing now how it made her feel. Coming from the mouth from someone she loves. I meant it lightheartedly, but that’s no excuse now. I know her better than that. She does more than enough. God I hope she knows that. I hope that’s why she screamed at me. “What do you mean?” He practically shouts, but I can tell he’s trying to remain calm. “What happened? That doesn’t make any sense. When?”

I sigh, “Like a week ago…”

He interrupts before I can continue, “Where are you? Why didn’t you call?”

“I’m fine, I’m at a hotel and I’m flying back tomorrow.” 

He sighs, “What happened? You guys…”

“It was dumb. I said something dumb.” I groan, pushing my hair out of my face. “It just spiraled after that cause we were drinking and I thought she was overreacting cause I didn’t mean what I said.” Hobi listens as I go on, “ I could tell that it upset her but I didn’t care, cause I didn’t mean it like that. I should have immediately apologized. No. I shouldn’t have said it at all.”

“Why don’t you call her and tell her this?” 

I shake my head knowing he can’t see me. “She said she doesn’t want to be with me another year of her life.” It takes a lot to swallow that down. I really toppled the jenga tower. Instead of fixing the problem all I did was be inconsiderate and ruin everything. I’d like to blame the alcohol but it’s far too late for that. Not that she would believe me but truly it was a joke. My shoulders fall, a misunderstanding that I was too petty to reverse. 

“Oh.” He says plainly, leaving both of us in silence. Damn. Now I feel like shit. I should have waited to tell him. Now he’s just gonna worry too much. I could have waited to tell him.

“Sorry, I’m fine really I’ll be coming home tomorrow. I just want to be with you guys again.”

Hoseok sighs, “Tae don’t say you’re fine if you’re not... It’s okay, you’ve been with Mara over two years. You’re definitely not going to be fine.” A hot tear runs down my cheek, and I can tell my face is swollen. “Why don’t you stay on the phone with me and later all of the guys and us will be there for the ball drop.”

“No, no…”  I mutter, knowing that they’ll all just worry their heads off. “I’ll wait to talk to the others when I get home. I think I just want to sleep early and get this day over with.” What a hell of a way to start the year, I sigh. 

“Do you want to stay on the call?” He asks, and I really contemplate this one for a while. 

My breathing is shaky as I agree, “Just till I fall asleep, thanks hyung.” 

~

I slowly open my eyes, crusty, and still swollen from last night. The hotel room is lit up around the curtains. My alarm didn’t go off again? My hand wanders to the nightstand to pick up my phone. 

3:00 pm. My eyes widen and my heart jumps up with me in bed. Are you fucking kidding me? How in the hell did I sleep that long? Oh, God. There’s literally no way I’d make the flight. Why didn’t my alarms work? I stare at the time, wishing it would magically change to a couple hours earlier. How is it already the afternoon? Was I really that tired? 

Not even bothering to stand I press my cheek into my palm. What the fuck? My teeth grind together. Why? After all of this shit. Why now? Can’t I just have one God damn easy day? 

Is it possible to cancel my flight ticket this late? I should at least try. Maybe there will be some open tickets on a later flight. Though I highly doubt it as it’s New Year’s day and everyone is going home. God, I’ll be lucky to find a flight this week at all, I barely found this one. 

On my lap my phone pings. I look down expecting maybe Hoseok. 

Mara… Can I call you?

Immediately my stomach begins to spin. What could she have to say to me? I try to relax as I stare at the text. She’s already said the worst so it can’t be anything bad? Even if she tried apologizing I just... I fucked up. Would she forgive me?

After a moment I text her back, now anxiously awaiting her call. I hope she wants to talk it over. I hope that I can apologize. I hope she didn’t mean what she said. The phone rings, but I give it a moment before I answer. Stupid. I don’t want to seem desperate, but I am. 

“Hey this is so out of nowhere but what day is it?” She says, sounding completely normal. Like we had just been talking not that long ago. Like we had spent Christmas and this entire week together. What day is it? That’s what she's calling for?

I stifle a sigh, glancing at my phone’s calendar, “What do you mean? It’s the fi…” The phone says the same thing it did yesterday. 12/31/20. “No way…”

She gives an exhausted laugh. “I am going crazy over here… I’ve celebrated New Years’ twice, and this morning my dad asks if I’m ready for 2021. Please tell me I’m crazy.”

“Uh that's strange,” I scratch my head. Holy shit does that mean the other day I hadn’t been imagining it? That I really had already been through the 31st. Today is the third New Years’ Eve. “I… I don’t know what to say other…”

“Damn. I’m sorry Tae. I shouldn’t have called. This was dumb and I sound so stupid. I’m sorry I should leave you be…” I shake my head as if she could see, “hey, wait, wait, wait. You didn’t let me finish. Genuinely the same thing has happened to me but I thought I was just mistaken because I went to sleep early.” 

She huffs, laughing out of relief, “Ha, I thought I was still drunk from the night before…”

“Sooo, what does this even mean?” I ask knowing she doesn’t know the answer.

“Well, my parents don’t seem to notice so I don’t really know.” 

“Hoseok is the same way…” I add, wondering if he’ll call me again today. Shit does this mean I still have a flight tomorrow? If tomorrow ever comes. What the fuck.

“Sorry again, I don’t really know why I called you…” I frown at her words, “I… I guess you’re the only other person I could really ask.” Nothing makes any sense, and my head starts to pound from my thoughts jumbling in my head. 

“It’s okay, I… don’t mind.” I cringe, unsure of what else to say. She doesn’t respond right away, probably thinking the same thing. It’s a heavy moment. There’s so much to say but neither of us are speaking. Even though she isn’t saying anything I can only imagine how she looks. She’s probably curled up on the couch in her pj’s, probably making the same face I am. Just sad. Which is dumb, if we’re both sad then obviously the argument shouldn’t have happened. 

“Well, if this happens again I guess we are just fucked.” She kind of laughs, making me smile, but my face drops again as she continues, “I’ll leave you be then… Happy New Year’s Tae.”

“Mara…” The buzz of the phone line lets me know she hasn’t hung up. I close my eyes, trying to formulate my thoughts before I open my mouth. “I’m sorry.” I shake my head, feeling stupid, “You are more than enough, I…” My words get caught in my throat and I can’t finish my sentence. 

“Me too.” She mutters. 

I sniff, “Can we talk… like in person.” “I’ll try and tell my parents that talking to you is more important than the ball dropping.” She sighs, and regret washes over me. Her parents probably hate me. They had been in the house during the argument. My eyes fall to the floor. I really just fucked it up. “Where even are you?” 

“Oh, this Hilton near a movie theater I think.” 

“I shouldn’t have sent you out. I’m really sorry Tae, it’s probably not safe for you to just be in a hotel.” 

I almost laugh, at least I know she’s worried about me. “I’m a grown man…”

“Tch I know it’s just… I shouldn’t have let you leave in a city you’ve never been okay.” After another moment, “Well I’ll come later. Just text me your room number yeah?”

I hum in answer and she hangs up. That went a lot better than I expected it to go. 

~

As I step towards the door, I swipe my hands down my pant legs, hoping my hands aren’t sweaty, and hoping I don’t look nervous myself. God that shouldn’t even matter. Clearing my mind, I pull open the door to see Mara standing there awkwardly, with her hands folded together. 

“Hey.” I mumble, leaning against the wall to make room for her in the tight entrance, gesturing for her to come in. Her eyes are shielded by her hair as she walks past me, but she wasn’t looking up at me anyway. After closing the door behind us we silently walk over to the couch, each taking a seat. In my lap my hands fumble with each other, and I bite down my lip. I guess it’s a bit more awkward trying to find the right words in person. 

I nod a couple times, managing to psych myself up to start the conversation. “I… I’m really sorry Mara.” The words come out breathy as it finally feels right to say them to her. 

She lifts her pointed chin to me with a small smile, shaking her head. “I accept your apology, and I’m sorry I took it too seriously.” Her body turns towards mine as she continues, “I’m not even sure why it really got me that mad because it was a dumb joke and it just hurt my feelings.” 

“That's all that really matters, I hurt your feelings and that's a good enough reason to apologize.” I finally make eye contact, feeling comfortable talking to her again. Those eyes are just the same as they’ve always been. She’s not cruel. She has a kind heart and her eyes show that. Why am I acting a fool?

“If anyone should apologize…” She sighs looking around the room, “It’s me.” I look down at my hands still thinking. “God.” She sniffs, and I immediately bring my face up to see her crying. “That's such an awful thing to say.” She chokes out, hands covering her face. My mouth drops and I do what I would normally, scooch closer to her and wrap my arm around her. Her head continues to shake in disappointment with herself.

“Listen it’s…”

“No!” She pushes me away, looking at me, her eyes reddening already. “It’s not okay.” Her eyes squeeze shut, tears rolling down her cheek. Even if she did say it, my heart still pangs looking at her like this. “I… I didn’t mean it.” She shakes her head, frantically wiping at her face. “I can’t even believe that those words came out of my mouth.” Her face becomes hidden as she buries it away in her hands. 

I turn my head away from her, unsure of what to say. It’s not like I can say I knew she didn’t mean it, because that would be a lie. I still feel like deep down she feels like her life would be easier without me. And honestly it probably would. 

“Maybe you’re right though.” I whisper, surprised that the words came out of my mouth. I certainly didn’t mean them to, but they did. They just slipped, like the tears I hadn’t noticed forming in my eyes. I roll my eyes, wiping them away. No use in feeling pitiful. What was I to expect with this lifestyle? Maybe I’m just meant to be alone during this time. 

“No… no.” She sniffles, realizing that her words had taken hold. “Oh Tae,” She sobbed, pushing herself into my chest. “I need you in my life. I can’t express how much you mean to me. I really didn’t mean it. I can’t even believe I said that.” Her tears soak through the fabric and I barely hug her back. Even if she wants me back in her life there has to be some backing behind her words. Moments of unhappiness.

“Tae listen to me.” Her fingers grasp at my collar, bringing my attention to her. Her brows were furrowed in anger as she pressed her fists into my chest. “I love you. There’s no one like you. I…”

My eyes roll away from her, doubtful. The tears flowed smoothly now, there was no stopping them. I press my fingers into my eyes, trying to see through the tears. It just doesn’t make any sense why she would say that and not mean it. “T… there has to be a reason.” I hiccup, attempting to push her away from me. “There has to be a reason you said it.” I blubber, hiding my face in my shirt sleeve. Wishing I could stop crying. Wishing I believed her. 

I feel her wrapping herself around me, and taking my hands away from my face. Weakly I let them drop to my sides. Letting my lashes stick together by keeping my eyes closed. 

“Kim Taehyung.” Her breath is hot on my face, as her soft fingers trace under my eyes. “There’s no reason.” She sniffs, “I love you.” She leans into me, our foreheads touching. “Please don’t keep what I said in your heart.”

 My head slides away from her, resting on her collarbone, and taking heavy breaths. How can it not linger? This feeling. 

“Please forgive me Tae.” She hugs me closer. Of course I can do that. That isn’t the problem. “I want to go into this year with you… I want to spend all the years of my life with you.” She rambles on, “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.” I can’t respond, and so she continues, “please we can fix this…” 

I sigh, collecting myself, and taking a deep breath against her skin. “Yeah.” It’s all I can muster, still not sure how I feel. It’s not like I don’t want to be with her, it’s just… Does she really want to be with me? I couldn’t live with the fact that she didn’t want to continue this but did anyway. I’m not even sure how I could forget this. I don’t want it to stay on my mind but I don’t think I’ll be able to help it. Though as we sit here, I’m just grateful to be in her arms. 

~

“Hey” I open sticky eyes, to the someone poking my cheek softly. Mara’s swollen but soft eyes are looking into mine, us still glued to each other on the couch. We must have fallen asleep, I blink a few times, stretching my arm out from under her. She has a small smile, one that makes me melt. Speaking softly she pulls her phone around to me. “Look.” With squinted eyes from the bright screen I see that it's 11:58 pm. She sets the phone down, leaning on her hand, “We didn’t miss the ball drop. Do you maybe want to watch it?” 

I smile whispering, “I thought you didn’t want to watch it a third time.” 

She sits up shrugging, “it’s different this time.” Her eyes find mine, and then she immediately looks away, “Though I doubt this tv gets the right channels.” I shuffle up in my seat as she gets up, rolling her head over her shoulders. 

After my mind has adjusted to being awake I stand, following her as she flips the tv on, scanning through the channels, though the time has already turned to 11:59. There's some news channels but they aren't showing the countdown. 

“Dangit we are gonna miss it.” She whines, but only looking half upset. 

I huff at her pout, quickly pulling up the ball drop on youtube. “See it’s that easy.”  25. 24. 

Her teeth show in a smile as she curls around me, watching the ball fall on the tiny little screen. 19. 18. “Can we kiss?” She kinda laughs at herself after asking, her eyes falling to the floor. Though I’m shocked she asked. 

“Yeah… of course.” She still seems hesitant, until I set the phone down on the bed, turning my attention completely to her. 10. 9.

She attempts to look in my eyes, but her’s just drag down to my chest once more. “I love you Tae.” 8. 7. My hand finds her chin, pulling it up slightly so our eyes do meet. And the blush forming on her cheeks makes me blush in return. Reminding me of the first time we kissed. 6. 5. I push my forehead onto hers, rubbing circles on her temples. 4. 3. 

“I love you too.” 2. 1. And I pull her face into mine, our lips softly clashing. Making me miss her more, and never want to let go. But I do. Breathing softly onto each other’s faces, breaking into smiles. 

She looks down to my phone with a grin, pulling it up to my face. “Look! It’s 2021!” 

[softyoongiionly]

Christmas in Mykonos🏝

It’s your first Christmas at your new home in Mykonos and, you decide to spoil your boyfriend with a gift you can both enjoy.

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Smut, pwp

Word Count: 2.3k

Universe: Mama Mia!

Warnings: explicit smut (18+ only plz), language

Based on: this ask x

A/N: Hello and welcome to another installment of Merry Crizzmizz 2019! I’m so excited for the rest of the fics and, I wanna thank all of you for sending in your requests, I hope you enjoy what I’ve come up with. This can be read as a stand alone but, I highly recommend reading Mama Mia! as it’s based in that universe. Happy Holidays ladz!!!

***All bolded words indicate when characters are speaking Korean***

Back to the masterlist! (click here)

Christmas in Mykonos… 

Sounds like a dream right? 

Well, it wouldn’t be out of the ordinary considering the fact that, ever since you moved into a villa fit for a honeymoon, you’ve spent most of your days wondering whether or not your life actually was a dream… 

You and Jungkook spent the morning exchanging gifts and eating your weight in chocolate chip pancakes whilst the ocean provided background music to your day.  

Everything had been perfect.  

You drank wine on the balcony, facetimed your families and, watched a few Christmas movies on Netflix. 

The two of you really wanted to eat dinner on the beach but, despite Greece being depicted as a beacon of sunshine, it has seasons like every other place.  

And todays’ season is: COLD. 

So, you settle for eating dinner in the dining room on ridiculously expensive Christmas china that Jungkook had imported from the Netherlands. 

Because, you know, what else is he going to spend his limitless fortune on? 

The night had settled slowly over the course of a few hours. You took a phone call with a friend while Jungkook popped into the wine cellar to check on his latest batches before heading up to bed.  

However, he was perplexed to find the room empty. He figured you would have finished up with your phone call but, he decided to leave you be, not wanting to interrupt you. 

He decides to get ready for bed, hoping that by the time he’s finished, you’ll be waiting for him. Jungkook never gets in bed without feeling clean so, he sheds himself of his holiday sweater and sweats and, jumps into the shower. The hot water feels good against his body and, the loofah does its job at scrubbing him clean although, he can’t help but wish you were there with him. Showering with you is amongst his favorite things; your hands are so gentle against his skin and, your shampoo always smells good but, it smells the best when it’s running down your back.  

As he washes over his hips he feels himself getting a little worked up at the memory of the last time you ended up in the shower together.  

You had been away on business for three weeks and, surprised Jungkook by catching an earlier flight and, slipping into the shower behind him. The sex was so rough and passionate that you ended up ripping off the shower curtain and, fucking onto the bathroom floor. 

It be like that sometimes.

Jungkook finishes up his shower, trying to hide his disappointment that you didn’t join him but, he stifles it cause he knows that your friendships are more important than his libido. He steps out, wrapping a towel around his waist and, pushing a hand through his damp hair. After a little bit of moisturizer and, some deodorant, he finds himself at the front of the walk-in closet you both share, wondering if he should even bother with pajamas. 

If he’s being honest, he’s hoping to get laid this Christmas but, he doesn’t know if showing up to bed naked will decrease or increase his chances. He opts for a white pair of linen boxers and, uses the towel around his waist to wipe the remaining water clinging to his back.  

He’s not even paying attention as he walks back into your bedroom but, the sudden change of lighting is enough to pull his gaze from the floor and, towards the center of the room.  

“Merry Christmas...” 

Jungkook feels his breath leave his chest as he takes in the sight of you. You're standing at the foot of the bed, dressed in the most sinful piece of lingerie he has ever seen. It’s a cherry-red baby doll made exclusively out of lace and chiffon par the silk that wraps underneath your breasts to neatly tie into a bow at the front of your body. Your hair looks so soft as it billows around you, your makeup is simple aside from the red lip stain and, Jungkook is certain he fell to his death in the shower and, is now in heaven. 

“Whoa jagi you look....” He gulps, his eyes raking over you greedily, “...yah...where did you get this?” 

At his sudden question, you giggle, sort of making your way over to him, “It’s from Agent Provacteur...do you like it?” 

He nods, his mouth hanging open a bit, the blood from his face rushing towards his cock. 

“You look...” He rakes a hand through his hair, unable to process what he’s seeing, “holy shit...”  

Your head falls back with laughter and, he laughs too, knowing that he sounds a little ridiculous but, he can’t help it. 

Not when you look this good and, he’s just supposed to accept it. 

“I’m hoping that’s a good thing, this was expensive.” You tease and, immediately, he laces his fingers with yours pulling you against him. 

“You look amazing.” He mumbles before leaning down to kiss you, letting out unstable breath as he does, “Am I supposed to behave tonight?” 

His voice is deeper now, rumbling in his chest whilst his hands squeeze against your hips.  

He’s asking because, you’re usually in charge. Jungkook likes it that way but, occasionally, he likes to have his way with you and, tonight, he doesn’t feel like behaving... 

“Hmmm...” You muse, taking his hand and, pulling him towards the bed, still kissing at his lips, “Are you gonna take care of me?” 

Something flashes in Jungkook’s eyes at the tone of your voice, its softer, more vulnerable and, a little submissive...not really your style but, he’d be lying if he said it didn’t turn him on.

As you hit the back of the bed, his hands slide up your shins, parting your legs so he can slot himself between them. 

He smirks, holding your gaze as he leans down to brush his lips over your inner thigh, “If you let me...I’ll take care of you all night.” 

His response goes straight to your core, which already aches in anticipation for him.  

“Then I’m all yours...” You whisper and, even though your words are submissive, Jungkook has the urge to drop to his knees for you.  

He knows his place but, god damn if he isn’t going to use this rare power shift to his advantage 

“You are all mine aren’t you?” He muses and, spreads your legs wider, groaning as he catches a glimpse of the matching panties underneath your babydoll, “Holy fuck...I’m gonna eat you alive...” 

All you can do is giggle, relishing in his attention, allowing your eyes to flutter shut at the feeling of Jungkook’s lips kissing up your thighs. 

“Do you think my pain is funny jagi?”  

“What’s Christmas without a little discomfort?” You quip but, immediately you gasp as Jungkook bites into the junction of your thigh. 

“Sorry.” He snickers, licking over the mark now adorning your thigh, “I can’t help it.” 

You jerk your thigh in response, knocking against his face playfully, causing him to laugh and, bite the skin there once again.

“Be nice...” Jungkook grins, pushing up the fabric of your babydoll, his accent peeking through his voice, “These are very pretty jagi...” He brushes his fingertips over the lacy material, smoothing his thumb up the length of your pussy, pressing a little harder as he nears your clit, “I kinda want rip them off though...” 

Whining in protest, you grab his face between your hands, “Don’t rip them, they were expensive!” 

He chuckles, his darkened eyes alight with amusement and arousal, “That word doesn’t mean anything to me...” With a tilt of his head, he secures his teeth around one of your fingers, nibbling on it playfully as he holds your gaze. 

You can feel your lips pouting, wiggling your finger in his mouth, “Please? I wanna wear them again for you...” 

Jungkook can’t really hide the affect you have on him, especially not when a shaky breath leaves his lips, and a low growl rumbles deep within his gut. 

He’s thankful he wore the linen boxers now; anything else would be uncomfortable against his hardened length.

You feel his tongue then, licking up the middle of your panties, his movements concluding against your right hip. His teeth dig into the red lace, catching your skin a bit as he bites down on the material before slowly dragging them down your legs.

It’s a cheesy move but, it’s kind of sexy, especially since Jungkook doesn’t take his eyes off of you the entire time.

He tosses them to the side and places his lips against the inner part of your ankle and, begins his ascent back up towards you. He kisses your skin tenderly, dragging his nose up the length of your leg, suckling when he gets to your thigh.

“I love your thighs so much.” He mumbles, placing a few more heated kisses against them before his eyes light up, “Why are you so wet jagi?” The grin on his face is smug as his eyes shift up to your face, “I haven’t even touched you yet.”

You roll your eyes at his comment, giggling as he nips at your inner thigh again,

“Are you goiiiing to touch me?”

He licks his lips, cocking his head, as he narrows his eyes toward you, “No…” Jungkook smirks as his mouth gets closer to where you want him most, “Not exactly.”

Jungkook spends quite some time between your legs, licking you slowly, teasing you, toying with your orgasm before slipping two of his fingers inside of you to give you the relief you desperately need.

“Fu…Jungkook…” Your breathless moan fuels him to lick you into another orgasm; his eyes wide open to watch you fall apart. “You’re going to kill me…”

“Sorry jagiya, you just taste so good…” He sucks at your clit once, causing you to sit up, tugging at his hair, an exhausted giggle leaving your mouth, “Nooo, I’m not done yet.”

His protest is spoken against your lips, his expression pleased and drowsy with arousal. Jungkook loves kissing you and although he was set on eating you out until you couldn’t take it anymore, he is quickly distracted as you begin teasing his lips with your own. Your hands get to work on unravelling him, running over the taut muscles in his back that ripple underneath your touch before you move to palm at him through his boxers.

They’re wet with his arousal and, you’re filled with satisfaction at how worked up he seems to get just from pleasure.

As he shudders underneath your fingertips, you smirk, your teeth tugging at his bottom lip, “Why are so hard Jungkook? I haven’t even touched you yet…”

If you had a kink for Jungkook speaking his native language, Jungkook had a borderline obsession with you doing the same. Hearing you teasing him in his mother tongue causes desire to erupt inside of him and, he can’t take it slow anymore.

The next thing you know, he’s pushing you back towards the head of the bed, pulling off his boxers in the process before hastily tugging the babydoll off of your body.

“Why are such a brat huh?” He croons into your ear, his hand wrapping around his dick, “Is that what I get for being so good to you? You don’t wanna show your appreciation?”

A giggle leaves your lips as you place a kiss against the shell of his ear, nibbling on it before you respond, “How exactly should I show my appreciation?”

He pulls back, his hand still positioned around his length, to stare at you, his mouth curved up in a dark smile, “By wetting my dick…”

You don’t even have time to process his next move but, the next thing you know, Jungkook is inside of you, pumping into you with a slow but steady rhythm, his eyes locking with yours.

“Fuck…” You whimper, your hands frantically coming up to brace against Jungkook’s shoulders as he slowly increases his pace inside of you.

The smirk lingers on his mouth as his eyes widen in mock innocence, “I know that face…” A moan interrupts him and, he squeezes his eyes shut as a jolt of pleasure rocks through his body, “Does it feel good baby?”

“Mhm…” You’re pulling him down so, his body is close enough to kiss on because, while you know Jungkook definitely has the upper hand this time, you’re not content unless he feels the same amount of pleasure he’s giving you. “…your dick feels so good.”

“Shit…” He mutters, his hips stuttering as your words affect him. He drags his nose up the side of your face, nipping at the apple of your cheek, his saliva coating the skin there, “You sound so pretty with my dick inside of you.”

Your hand curves around the back of his neck, pulling his lips to yours, kissing him with everything you have as you begin pushing up against his dick.

“You’re gonna make me cum…” Jungkook’s voice is shaky and, its reminiscent of how he usually sounds.

You feel your own release coming on too and, watching him fall apart is enough to get you there…

“Cum for me then…” You coo, sucking on his bottom lip and, lets out a shaky whimper as his hips increase to a rapid rhythm.

With a desperate locking of your eyes, Jungkook lets go, muttering obscenities and words of admiration as when does.

“Gonna cum…gonna cum…fuck…fuck I love you…”

He manages to continue his rhythm through your orgasm before he finally caves in due to sensitivity, his upper body resting on yours.

The two of you lay there for quite some time, trailing your trembling hands over one another. When he finally rolls off of you, he pulls you into his side, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead.

“Best Christmas present ever…” Jungkook whispers as he pulls the soft throw blanket over your bodies.

“The sex or the lingerie?” You giggle, snuggling into him.

He grins to himself as he secures you closer, “You.”

[voltagesmutter]

Soryu - Pregnancy [Fluff]

Soryu pregnancy story, I apologise because its fluffy af and I cried whilst writing it and I can’t stop 

Dedicated to the beautiful @brialoveskbtbb​

You hid the test in your bedside cabinet, the steps of your husband coming upstairs early from work surprised you. You were just about to look at the result when he had called your name. 

“Hey, you're early,” You giggled, getting off the bed and running into Soryu’s arms. He twirled you around, holding you tightly.

“It’s the weekend of our anniversary, of course I was coming home early, I just hope Inui can manage,” He mumbles as he presses kisses to your hair. You sighed in his embrace, it was your first wedding anniversary tomorrow and you were so excited to spend it with him.

“I’m going to get in the shower, if you care to join me,” He says, his fingers tracing up your arms, a suggestive look in his eyes. He had grown so much since you first met him, he never used to look or talk to you, he used to blush when your hands accidentally touched, he was always such a gentleman.

That was until one day you walked in on him touching himself, your name falling from his lips, his eyes were laced with lust as they met yours. Rather than being embarrassed or walking away, you gave into the desire of him, you yourself had touched yourself to the thought of him. That was the first night you spent together and had never stopped since, within 6 months of that you were living together, both deeply in love with each other. He had proposed to you on your one year anniversary then married in a big extravagant event a few months later. 

You hadn’t been trying for a baby, you were still taking your birth control, but condoms had gone right from the wedding night, Soryu ravishing every moment he was able to spill into you properly.

Forgetting about the test that lay in your draw, you followed your husband into the shower, lips never leaving each other as your bodies entwined. 

“That takes my breath away every time still,” Soryu panted as he wiped your body with the white fluff towel from behind. You smile at him, watching his actions in the mirror in front of you. He stood there, his hands on your waist and pressed small kisses to your shoulder, your skin was radiating with love and the passionate session you had just encountered and your eyes grazed to your stomach. You thought it was just a trick of the light or your infectious good mood but you swear you could see a small bump beginning to form. You had been experiencing some waves of nausea over the past couple of days, some strong enough to make you physically throw up. You also noticed you were currently late on your period, although you weren't exactly regular but nevertheless this had encouraged you to take a test.

When Soryu headed down stairs to check everything was okay with Inui, you took the opportunity to check the test and there it was, a pink positive sign. Your heart was racing and excitement rushed into your body. You pushed the test back into your draw and ran down stairs, wanting to tell your husband.

“Soryu! Soryu!-” You yelled, practically skipping down the stairs but your excitement died down as you saw him pacing across the room, muttering and yelling down the phone. He groaned as he ended the call and sat on the sofa, his hands buried to his face.

“Hey, whats wrong?” You asked, rushing to his side, now was not the time to tell him. 

“One of the new members had screwed up some documents, they need me to go and fix it, but I told them no,” He said.

“Soryu its okay, I’ll be here waiting for you when you get home,” You says as you run your fingers through his hair as he lays his head onto your lap.

“You're perfect, I’m so glad I married you,”.

“Me too, now go, I’ll be here when you get home Mr.Oh,” You giggle. 

A text from Soryu later that night indicated he wouldn’t be home until tomorrow and he wouldn't apologise enough. 

It’s fine, it’s not our anniversary until tomorrow anyway, I’ll be here waiting for you.

Goodnight Mrs.Oh, I love you.

I love you too, Mr.Oh.

It still gave you goosebumps when he called you Mrs.Oh. Your daddy is going to be so shocked to find out about you, you say out loud and press a hand to your stomach, unable to stop yourself beaming. You fell asleep, basking in your afterglow of love and happiness.

The following your day, you headed out early in the morning, you was going to tell Soryu tonight over dinner and wanted something to surprise him with. Scanning the shop shelves you saw it, a baby grow with the words ‘Mafia Baby’ written on it. You beamed and smiled, placing it in your hands before heading to the till before you bumped into someone.

“Bella?”.

“Eisuke…?” You asked in slight shock. You had never seen the man make a cup of coffee before, why was he out in the shops? Soryu and you had moved out of his penthouse suite but you was still extremely close, still spending 90% of your time there with them.

“What you got?” He smirks before taking the item out of your hands.

“Eisuke no!” You reached for it before his eyes widened as he read the words before turning to you.

“Soryu doesn’t know!” You pouted, you didn’t want Eisuke to be the first person to know. He smiled, like he actually smiled, at you before pulling you into a hug. This had never happened before and you weren't sure how to react.

“Sorry, I’m just I’m really happy for you both,” He mumbled before pulling away and giving you back the item.

“Thank you, I’m telling him tonight, so if you can just not know until he does and wants to tell you all,”. He nods in response. 

Soryu had texted you whilst you were still out, saying he was finishing soon.

“Hey! I’m out at the minute, I’m near the hotel, if you want I can meet you here?” You say down the phone as you had rang him. He agreed and you went to meet him in the lobby.

“Bella!” He said, racing to you and pressing a kiss to your lips.

“Hey honey,” You respond, your hearting beating rapidly, your adoring husband and father of your child smiling sweetly at you.

“Can we just run up, I could do with giving this documents to Eisuke, we’ve been shopping I see,” He asks, guiding you to the elevator, trying to sneak a peak into the bag.

“Hey stop! It’s a surprise for later,” You pouted, keeping the bag away from him.

“I hope it's the same surprise as our engagement night,”. You cheeks flushed at the thought, you had brought some new lingerie for him and both of you had gone pretty wild on each other. You arrived at the penthouse, all of the bidders were there sitting around the poker table with a drink in hand, including Eisuke. Shit, you knew he was a blabber mouth when he drank.

“It’s my best friend! I’m so happy for you man, just congratulations,” Eisuke mumbled, he was quietly obviously drunk, how you didn’t know. It had only been a few hours since you saw him in the shop. 

“Well thank you, we’re having a celebration tonight,” Soryu chuckles wrapping his arm around you, clearly thinking its about your anniversary. Determined not have your special moment ruined by him, you quickly shove Soryu to Eisukes office.

“Just sort the documents, he’s clearly not in a state to sort do it,” You say before shutting the door, leaving him inside the office.

“You idiot! I haven’t told him yet!” You hissed at Eisuke, the other bidders looking giddy at you.

“Soryu and youuuuu had seeex,” Ota sang giggling. Brilliant he’d told them, they all knew before Soryu. 

“Mamo! No, the smoke is bad for the baby,” Baba slurred, grabbing the unlit cigarette from the detective. Seriously, how drunk were they?

“Right okay, we’re playing the silent game! None of you can talk until Soryu and me leave,” You state, you’d seen them drunk before and knew this was the best way to deal with them.

“Can I be god-father,” Whined Eisuke, gently tugging your arm, he got so needy.

“Nooo, I want be god-father,”

“You can’t be god-father, you sleep too much, let it be me, I’m the oldest,”

“Bella pleeease, I’ll buy it cute matching outfits, it will look sooo good on my social media,”.

I don’t know why I’m excited for a baby, I already have four fully grown ones here.

“Right, you can all be god-fathers if you keep quiet,” You finally negotiated before Soryu came out. The men went silent and you pulled Soryu out of there as fast as you could.

“Oh wait, let me take this,” Soryu chuckles, grabbing a bottle of bubbly from the shelf.

“Waaa- no Bella can’t drink in her condition,” Eisuke yells and you kick his violently when Soryu isn’t looking.

“Condition?” Soryu asks puzzled.

“Yeah, do not remember the last time she drank and she threw up evvvverywhere” Ota giggled, chiming in to save Eisuke blurting something out.

“Oh yeah,” Soryu chuckled, thank god for Ota.

You had rushed home, you didn’t want anything else to get in the way or ruin your surprise.

“Come here, Mrs.Oh,” Soryu said, pulling you tight into his arms as he kisses you passionately, you pulling him down to deep the kiss. He snakes his hand over yous, and throws the bag you was holding to the floor but scooping you in his arms and carrying you bridal style to your bedroom, just like he had done on your wedding day. 

After your long afternoon of love making you finally get to work on Soryu’s surprise. You were going to make him dinner and present him with the test. You had told him to stay away from the kitchen until you were done. You shook as you placed the food on the table, lighting candles across the room before putting the test you had sneaked out of your draw earlier into the bag with the baby grow and placing into the to table.

“Soryu!” You called with a deep breath. You watched as your husband emerged with a bouquet of red roses and white lilies, your favourite and presented them to you.

“I tried to get one for everyday I’ve loved you, but the florist said that amount of flowers would flood the room,” He says with a subtle blush and you feel your eyes tear up, god bless this man. You put the flowers down and gestured  him to sit at the table. His eyes peaked at the bag and you took a breath.

“Open it,”.

He reached forward and tore the paper out from inside it like a child at christmas before pulling out the baby grow and giving a chuckle, clearly he hadn’t clocked. You gesture to him and he reaches future into the bag before pulling out the test and his hands begin to shake. His eyes look gaze of it before looking at you and then the baby grow and back to you.

“Your-” He says, trembling and you give him a nod. He stands up and rushes to you, the stone cold mafia man was on his knees, pressing kisses to your stomach lightly sobbing, making you over emotional as well.

“When did?”.

“I found out yesterday, I wanted to tell you as soon as I knew but you had to go work,”.

“Wait, is that why Eisuke said about your condition earlier?”. You sighed at his question.

“He saw me in the shop with this and it kinda clicked with him, I didn’t want anyone to know until you knew” You responded, running your fingers through his hair.

“I love you so much, thank you for giving me the greatest gift you ever could,” Soryu whispers before whispering more sweet words to your stomach.

“Oh there’s any other thing…” You say.

“We already have four god-fathers,”.

“That doesn’t surprise me one bit,” He chuckled.

“You're going to be so loved,” He whispered, pressing a kiss to your stomach. 

Once you both officially told the bidders together there was a massive celebration amongst you all. The drinks between them all were flowing, each other so happy for you both. You told Soryu to relax and enjoy his night with them, after all this wouldn’t happen for a while once the baby arrived. You watched as Soryu and Eisuke shared a sweet but extremely drunk moment.

“Your going to be a dad! You! You hated women,”.

“I know, but I found the one and only woman for me,”.

“I’m so happy for you,” Eisuke said through sobs causing Soryu to also sob, being an absolute hormonal wreck you began to cry too. 

You woke up one night unable to sleep, you were heavily pregnant.

“You okay?” Soryu said shooting up, he was on high alert and you gave him a reassuring nod.

“Yeah, she’s just being a madam and kicking again,” You whined. Soryu chucked and turned around.

“Now listen you, I know you're being stubborn, just like your mom and keeping us waiting, but don’t keep us waiting much longer, I can’t wait to meet you little girl,” He whispers, rubbing your bump and pressing kisses to it. You well up with emotions, this man was the definition of perfect. 

“Can you help me up, I need to pee again,” You whine, physically unable to pull yourself up off the bed. Soryu helps you to your feet as you waddle to the bathroom before stopping.

“Soryu!”. He comes running in after you.

“My waters broke…”.

“Ohmygod, she coming? She’s coming!” He yells before slightly panicking. You had the hospital bag ready and packed at the door and he helped you into the car before ringing the group chat he had made with all the bidders.

“Just breathe, it's okay, guys, she’s ready, our baby girl is finally arriving,” He yells in a calm but panicked voice as he grips your hand, reassuring you over every step. 

After hours of agonising labour, Soryu holding your hand through all of it, not leaving your side, she finally arrived. You enjoyed every moment and tiny detail of her, but you was exhausted. You held her tightly to you as Soryu leaned over you both, crying slightly, and stroking your hair.

“We made her, you did so good baby, so so good,” He whispered.

 “I love you so much, both of you, both my girls,” His voice filled with love as he cradled you both close to him.  He had changed so much since you first met him, no more being a stern reluctant man, instead he was full of love, joy and emotions.

There was a slight knock at the door and you watched as the four bidders came in, Baba already sobbing. They gathered around you, Soryu holding you both close to him, his face full of love as he introduced your baby to the rest of the family.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

kiss me in the d-a-r-k .epilogue v.

just another tuesday

masterlist

Warnings: dub con sex (oral, intercourse)

This is dark!(dad)Steve and explicit. 18+ only.

Summary: Things get a little more complicated.

Note: So this will be the last part for this week (probably lol). As Rebecca Black said, It’s Friday, Friday! And unfortunately that only marks the middle of an 8 day stretch of work for me. I’m tired, I’m hormonal, and I’m gonna try to actually relax in my short hours off. But thank you to everyone who’s been reading along and thanks for the support. I really hope you enjoy (my porn).💋

<3 Let me know what you think with a like or reblog or reply!

...

The school cafe was bustling as you sat alone at the table, two lattes steamed in front of you. Kylie said she was five minutes away ten minutes ago. You yawned as you checked the time again and looked to the door. She was always fashionably late though you would’ve preferred her on time in rags. 

You hoped her skinny, no foam latte was cold when she arrived. At the same time you didn’t because you had spent five bucks on it. Your leg shook under the table and you looked at your phone. Another missed call. Steve knew you were supposed to meet Kylie but he was calling you anyway. The two of them were bound to drive you wild; Steve’s presence and Kylie’s absence were too much to deal with at once.

You sensed a presence and glanced up expecting Kylie. Your lips parted in surprise as Bucky stood across from you. He held a paper cup as he smiled down at you. 

“Having a little wake me up before you start on those edits?” He mused.

“Uh...yeah, I…” Your tongue was clumsy though you couldn’t even think of words to say.

“Classes today?” He asked.

“Um, yeah, noon til seven,” You batted your lashes unthinkingly. “Midterm tomorrow morning.”

“So...I guess you’ll be busy studying then,” He lifted a brow. “No time to waste.”

You realized what he was hinting at. You’d already allowed Steve to weasel in on a study night, you really didn’t want to make your mistakes habitual. 

“Not really,” You said nervously. “I--”

“Sorry I’m late, I--” Kylie stopped just beside Bucky and looked over at him. Her eyes brightened and she smiled as she dropped her phone on the table. “Uncle Bucky!” She threw her arms around him.

“Uncle?” You echoed as she parted from him.

“You know Kylie?” His blue eyes narrowed as he thought.

“We’re friends of course,” Kylie trilled. “You do know I have more friends on campus than you, don’t you?”

“Well, it just so happens, your friend is in my communications class,” He countered. “Smart girl, wonder how she ended up with you.”

“Pfft,” She scoffed and pulled out the chair to sit. “Sure. You seen dad? He’s in town to see you, isn’t he?”

“Business. I just happen to be at a convenient distance now,” He returned. “I saw him the other night.” His eyes flitted over to you and you looked away. “He seems well.”

“Yeah, didn’t see him much this summer but when he drove me up in September he was...less of an ass than usual. Not so much when he dropped in a lectured me at my dorm.” She rolled her eyes. 

“You know me, I never give a lecture off the clock,” He chuckled. “And he never does without reason.”

“Well, you know,” She sighed, “I used my emergency card for a Louis Vuitton but it really was an emergency.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah, it matched my shoes,” She snickered. 

“Hmmp,” He shook his head. “Well, I’ll leave you girls to your coffee. I’ve got a class to get to.” He looked between you. “Oh,” His eyes fixed on you and his tone steadied. “Don’t forget our meeting at seven-thirty. Right?”

“Uhhh…” You peeked over at Kylie as she sniffed at her latte. “Sure. Y-yeah. I’ll be there.”

“Good. We have a lot to talk about.” He cleared his throat. “Regarding your paper.”

You nodded and he said one last goodbye. You watched him go and your stomach turned. Shit. He was smart, he was a professor after all, and you knew he must’ve connected some of the dots. Kylie was too invested in her phone to notice your discomfort. You sipped your latte and shook off the butterflies.

“So, how was the midterm?” You asked and she lifted her head, a momentary pause before she registered your question.

“Oh, you know what? I don’t think I did half bad.” She perked up. “Sat next to this guy who’s gaga over me. Still got acne but he’s also first in the class. Very neat writing.”

“Christ, Kylie, you always find a shortcut, don’t you?” You snorted.

“Oh, shush, if you’d helped me study I wouldn’t have been so worried about failing.” She chided. “What was it that kept you? You’re rarely too busy for a study date.”

“My own schoolwork,” You retorted. “And my preference for peace and quiet.”

-

Your classes went quickly to your chagrin.You dreaded your impromptu meeting with Professor Barnes. Had he guessed everything? What did he think of you now? Did he regret what happened in his office? Did you?

As you climbed the stairs, you recalled the previous day. How he’d walked beside you up the flights and led you into his office. Closed the door even. He never sat but stood close. It had all been so deliberate. Calculated even. If you had deceived him, surely he had done the same. Enticed you, at the very least.

You knocked on the door. The halls were empty. The other professors were either in a lecture or at home with their stack of student papers and glass of aged scotch. The door opened and you flinched. He checked his watch and stepped back.

“Early, as always,” He waved you in. You placed your bag beside the chair and sat. He moved around and glass clinked as he neared the other side of his desk. He set down two short tumblers and opened his drawer. “Whiskey?”

“Whiskey?” You repeated.

“The least of your sins in this office,” He kidded and poured. He slid a glass over to you without awaiting your ascent.

“Thanks,” You took it and stared into the dark alcohol. 

Your fingers tapped on the glass nervously. He took a long drink and set his back on the desk. You avoided his gaze as you waited. Silence.

“I was gonna work on the revisions toni--”

“You knew Steve already, didn’t you?” He asked. You nodded and looked at him. You took a sip and winced at the burn of the whiskey as it trickled down your throat. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

You shrugged and took another gulp. “I don’t know, I...was nervous. I wasn’t expecting to see you there--”

“Wait,” He leaned forward as brows drew together in realization. He blinked and his lips twitched. “Was he the friend you were meeting?”

“N-nooo,” You said. Even you weren’t convinced. He slapped the desk and laughed.

“Don’t tell me you’re fucking your friend’s dad,” He grinned and grabbed his glass. “How fucking precious. I knew--” He took a swig. “Especially after yesterday, you’re not such a good girl after all.”

You stared at him. Mortified. The glass slipped from your hand and you pressed yourself back against the chair as you watched the whiskey splash across the carpet. 

“Fuck, I’m sorry.” You bent and picked up the glass. “Shit.” 

You looked around and he stood calmly. He grabbed a wad of kleenex from the box on his desk and knelt to dab the carpet around your feet. He didn’t say anything until he finished. When he stood, you tried to as well but he caught your shoulder and pushed you back down.

“Stay there,” He tossed the tissues and slipped between you and the desk, leaning on it as his eyes bore into you. “So, are you sorry for spilling the whiskey or lying to me?”

“Both,” You pouted. “I didn’t--I only...followed his lead.”

“Does he know about us? Or have you lied to him too?” He tilted his head.

“He knows,” You admitted. “He didn't really care.”

He nodded and his eyes wandered as he thought. A smirk spread slowly beneath his beard and he stood. “You remember how I fucked you. I want your hands on that desk. Just like before.” He sidled away from you. “Now. And don’t you move them.”

“What--”

“Quiet.” He snapped. “Now, be a good girl.”

You looked up at him and he crossed his arms. You pushed yourself to your feet and nudged aside your empty glass. You set your palms on the desk and slid your feet back just a little. He moved the chair as you craned your head to watch him. 

“Eyes forward,” He said sternly. “You see, when you’re bad, you have to be punished. That’s just the way this has to work.” He neared and reached around you. He unbuttoned your fly and pushed your zipper down. “Now, I’m not mad that you fucked him. You obviously have a certain taste in men. I’m upset that you lied to me. Disappointed.”

He shoved your pants down  around your thighs.He spread his large hand across your ass. You blinked and resisted the urge to look back. He pulled his hand away and your brows furrowed in confusion. He slapped your ass and you yelped.

“Shhh,” He rubbed your ass and smacked you again. “Don’t go getting yourself into more trouble.” He struck your ass a third time. “Good girls take their punishment. Quietly.”

You bit your lip and hung your head. As he continued, you breathed in time with each impact. Your nails scratched the wood of his desk and you shuddered as it stung a little more with each smack. You counted twenty before he stopped. You were trembling and out of breath. Your body was on fire.

He pulled your pants up over your ass and you flinched. He backed away and strode around the desk. He sat heavily in his chair. He grinned at you as he unbuckled his belt. “Now, show me your sorry.”

He pushed his fly open and pulled out his cock. He pointed between his knees and tilted his head. You hesitantly pulled your hands from the desk and stood straight. You buttoned your fly and stepped around the desk numbly. As you neared, he rolled his chair back just a little and tapped his toe.

You knelt before him and lowered your eyes to his lap. Your eyes widened at the sight of his cock. His hand rested on his thigh and his cock twitched. He rubbed circles on his thigh and brought himself closer to you. You wrapped your fingers around him and pressed your lips to his tip. He let out a long breath.

You took just his head in your mouth and swirled your tongue around it. He gasped. His hand gripped the arm of his chair and you took more of him, a little at a time. You pulled back at every inch as your saliva slickened his length. Your lips met your hand and you slid your mouth and hand along his cock. 

He groaned and you kept your motion steady. He spread his legs and lifted his hand from his thigh to grab the back of your head. He guided you faster as his breath hitched. He hit the back of your throat over and over and the sloppy slurps and gags filled the room.

“Fuck, fuck, stop, stop,” He rasped. “Whew.”

You sat back on your heels and let him slip out of your mouth. He leaned his head back as he gathered himself. You looked up at him hungrily. You didn’t want to stop. You wanted him to cum in your mouth. You wanted more.

“Sit in my lap, baby,” He sat up and patted his thigh. “Come on.”

You undid your pants and rolled them back down. You were only too eager to listen. You’d thought the first time would be the last when you arrived. You were glad it wasn’t.  You moved back and reached behind you. 

You grabbed the arms of the chair and he lined himself up. He slid between your folds and you sank down on him entirely. You moaned and he gripped your hip. You lifted your pelvis and crashed back down. He helped you as you moved atop him and he snaked his hand around you. 

He dipped his fingers down and played with your clit. He drew circles as you rode him and gritted your teeth as you tried to stifle your moans. The chair squeaked as it rocked below him and you felt the flurry as it filled your core. You quivered and quaked as he forced the orgasm from you. 

He pulled his hand away and grabbed your other hip. He stood, still inside you and pushed you against the desk. He grasped the back of your neck and forced you down until your cheek was to the wood. Your legs were trapped in your jeans as he fucked you relentlessly. Each thrust was harder and deeper. He grunted as the desk groaned beneath you.

He slapped your ass as he pounded into you. You buried your head beneath your arms as you held in your murmurs. 

“Are you sorry?” He growled.

“Yes,” You rasped. “Yes, I’m sorry, Professor. I’m so sorry.”

“Sorry for what?” 

“I’m sorry I lied, Professor,” You whined as you lifted your head. You were cumming again and your entire body radiated with suffocating heat.

“Good girl,” He squeezed your ass and rutted into you. 

He gave several long thrusts as he snarled and pulled out suddenly. He came on you, his cock against your pussy as he bent over you and panted in his release. He rested his weight on you as you laid breathless in the warmth of his body and the afterglow.

“I forgive you, baby,” He kissed your cheek softly. “Now go study,” He lifted himself and smirked down at your dripping pussy. “And get those edits done.”

[chaoticspacefam]

2020 In Review: Wordcount Tag

I was tagged for this by @actualanxiousswampwitch​ , thank you! I’m not sure who’s already done or been tagged for this cause I am, once again, late to the party LOL but I shall (no pressure and sorry if you’ve already done it!) tag: @rainofaugustsith​ , @darth-bagel​ , @thatmmolesbian​ , @thelastenvoyyy​ and anybody else who wants to do this. Yes, I promise I mean you!

Words: 45,314

Published: 0 (I’m not counting the couple of Six Sentence tags I’ve gotten, they’re snippets of an unfinished piece & are included below instead :), or roleplay replies, cause that feels like cheating lol.) I actually wrote a lot more than I thought I had, this is a rough guesstimate as well, as my oneshot WIPs tend to be all over the place across something like 6 different documents, some of which have existed since 2018, so I had to guess at how far up to count from the end for some of them, but I think it’s a fair guesstimate XD I also have included lore/worldbuilding docs in this because that was a 3-month long Lockdown 1.0 Boredom/”Canon is a trash fire so I’m ignoring that and making up my own lore” passion project and I’m goddamn proud of how much I wrote for that. It’s the most I’ve written in one stretch (think I finished it over a span of 3 nights or so, once I’d done all the research and made all the notes ofc ^^)

Not Published: 45,314

The Breakdown:

swtor - 45,314

for creeping shadows (my main longfic/part one of the subterfugeverse series) - 1,553  - Aria, stop being difficult! *shakes fists* XD

oneshots - 16,223

lore/worldbuilding (for subterfugeverse naturally) - 23,001 (is this ALL tomato alien lore? pretty much, yes, yes it is :’D ~400 words is “the WIP reworked timeline to correlate my worldbuilding with the canon timeline that was released”, but 98% is just...me thinking way too much about Purebloods and how they deserved way better goddamn lore. I blame @fluffynexu ‘s amazing tomato worldbuilding posts,  reading them when I went looking for “canon” lore one day for the rp is what got me started down that rabbithole (it’s awesome and if you haven’t already you should totally go check hers out too :DD), I had a “fuck you then canon I’ll do it myself too >:L” moment and once I started I couldn’t stop until I’d crapped out literally over 20k words on the subject *whispering* thank you LOL)

zephyrverse au bonus oneshots - 4,537 (stuff I wrote to fill in time gaps or “just cause I had a plot bunny”, relating to mine and k-christine’s zephyrverse au rp. None of these will likely be posted publicly, but they still deserve to be counted as words I wrote this year :’D

As you can see, most of my “muse” this year came from sporadic oneshots :’D The Ahaszaai twins also properly plot-bunnied their way into my brain in late 2019 and haven’t stopped making a nuisance of themselves the whole fucking year. Every time I tried to carry on with a chapter, one of the two of them would pop up like “Nooo write about ME! pay attention to ME!” - Yes, Ni’kasi, I will get to you this year, I promise XD

New Things I Tried:

Just Writing. Not worrying about whether “it wasn’t part of the next chapter” or “it comes from a part in the story that I’m nowhere near close to posting yet”. If I felt like writing something, or for a specific pairing/feeling/scene, whatever. I wrote until I ran outta muse juice. Yeah, it meant I didn’t technically “finish” anything this year BUT - the important thing is I wrote stuff. and that’s all that really matters, eh? :’D

Polyam ships! May not seem like a big deal but I spent a long time talking myself out of them because of internalised toxic monogamy and finally saying “you know what, fuck it! I can ship three or more people together and it can still be a perfectly wholesome, healthy and loving relationship and that’s okay” was a BIG thing for me this year.

Dialogue Scripts: which I didn’t count as wordcount because really it’s just word vomit of general tone/inflection and dialogue that I came up with right before falling asleep which I didn’t want to lose. Basically, if an exchange or a particularly punchy or moving line of dialogue popped into my brain but I wasn’t ready to write the whole scene that it fit into out, but didn’t want to forget the line(s). I wrote it out in movie script/script-style roleplay fashion e.g. Character’s Name: (emotion, hand gestures etc.) [Dialogue here] and so on. I know this is probably a well known trick of the trade, but I never took it seriously until this year. Seriously, do it. It’s great.

Favorite Thing I Wrote:

Hmmm, a snippet for Andronikos/Ni’kasi that I started this week which isn’t posted yet (saving it for this week’s Six Sentence Sunday so look out for it! :D) was pretty fun to work on, I love their dynamic and Kas is suprisingly fun to write for.

Also the Aria/Vano proposal scene that I posted a snippet for the week before last. I’m having great fun with that scene, and I really enjoy putting a non-serious spin on the classic “proposal scene” tropes. Can’t wait to finish it, though it may be a while before the full one goes up on AO3, as it depends whether it ends up fitting in as part of the mainfic or as an additional oneshot

And I have a D’leah/Kissai oneshot that I need to give another once-over before I finally yeet it onto AO3 and Tumblr for you guys to see :’D

Favorite Fic I Read:

@sleepswithvillains Eleanora/Quinn fic, Helplessly Hoping. I’m horribly behind on chapters and I gotta catch up and read the finale this week, but it’s been a helluva great ride and I’ve thoroughly enjoyed the story! <3

Also The Invitation collab with @tishinada featuring Zas and Fiona had me squealing, I can’t wait to catch up on HH and see more of these two, they’re adorable ;-; @a-muirehen​ ‘s Relu/Merkara series of course! I’m a complete sucker for (friends to lovers to in Ariano’s case but yea pfpfpf) enemies to lovers ships and these two are just so good, I am on the edge of my seat every time we get a new snippet for them, ngl (grimace emoji) @darth-bagel ‘s Sylvas/Graz’zt and Sylvas/Liz/Rilfaen snippets which they’ve been spoiling me with on Discord @mercurypilgrim ‘s Ven’fir/Quinn AU oneshots, Cloudbank (Western was a particular favourite, but all are very good!) and of course @rainofaugustsith ‘s Lana/Viri updates are always fantastic, some personal favourites from this year were Almost There & Memory of Healing :3 (I totally still go back to read Commander & Advisor too sometimes, getting to see Viri be a little diabolical and messing with “MiNiSTeR LoRMaN!” was and still is my favourite thing XD)

If I’ve left you out I’m sorry!! These were the ones that stuck out in my memory, but I’ve loved everyone’s writing this year, it’s been great :3

Writing Goals:

to actually finish and post chapter 8 & 9 of Creeping Shadows. Then we’ll get to the meat and potatoes of the story and maybe Aria will stop being a brat and fighting me every time I try to stick to a semi-regular update schedule Get off my butt, finalise the name and get started on Ni’kasi’s part of the Subterfugeverse story. Maybe run the updates in-tandem with Creeping Shadows but idk if I want to wait till after CS is done before I start posting Kas’s side, or do them side-by-side yet, we’ll see ;) Keep writing! I know better than to pressure myself by setting a specific word count goal, that’s never worked well in the past

At least 2 chapters of each of the works mentioned above would be great though, more would be better! We’ll see how I go

Words of Thanks:

honestly, to everybody in the fandom I’ve met this year. Anybody that I follow, thank you for being there and engaging with me and/or posting amazing content for me to look at! I came over from deviantART where the SWTOR fandom is incredibly small and generally quite inactive and the contrast since moving over here has been incredibly uplifting. I very nearly cancelled Creeping Shadows and stopped posting fic for my SWTORverse altogether because I got next to no engagement on dA and it was very disheartening to the point where I felt I could enjoy the game and the rp partners I had, but the solo projects I’d put so much thought, time and love into already weren’t worth continuing. You guys took that spark and kept it going and I really don’t have enough words to say how grateful I am for that. Even if I haven’t published much this year, making posts on this tumblr, interacting with everyone and working on lore, plot points and so on for Subterfugeverse has kept me going through the Hellish Year of Nightmares that was 2020 <3

to the amazing new friends I’ve made in this past year, who have listened to me ramble about headcanons, character backstories, writing snippets (and rambled/sent some back), keep being awesome: @walk-ng-d-saster , @darth-bagel , @kyber-heart , @deepseacritter , @thedinalixlegacy to further friends and meme tag buddies, I get so excited every time I see a mention for a new meme or ask game in my inbox, so thank you!! : @mimabeann , @palepinkycat , @a-master-procrastinator , @raven-of-domain-kwaad , @actualanxiousswampwitch , @thatmmolesbian , @a-muirehen to my regular commentors/rebloggers/likers/askbox lurkers, I see every one of you and every time your users pop up I grin like a kid in a toy shop: @starlightjedi , @sparkles-and-rust , @wilvarin-chan , @sunsetofdoom , @ask-an-andalite , @thelastenvoyyy . @lyrishadow and more because Tumblr only goes so far back and I have the memory of Swiss Cheese. If you regularly comment, like, reblog, or anything, from me, know that I see you, and I love and appreciate you for it! <3

I couldn’t possibly remember to tag everyone and I promise if I missed you out it’s not because I hate you! Anxiety just sometimes be a bitch and I don’t wanna look like a clown calling someone a “friend” if I’m not explicitly sure we are, in fact, friends. I think you’re all awesome and I’m so glad to have moved over here and met you all <3

[crystalwillow]

Count My Blessings

Pairing: Noah Harris x Anna-Rose Price

Features: Mason Jennings, Hazel Harris, Elijah Harris & Ms. Harris

Mentioned: Samantha Lawrence, Mackenzie Price, Dave Price (Mc & Mack’s dad)

Word Count: 4.7K

Inspired by the finale of My Two First Loves. I wanted to write something for us who took the route of romancing Noah. Having Mason and Ava as friends. I do want to quickly disclaim that I chose to rename Ava to Samantha, to give Elijah one last chance and not turn him over to police, and to take the sweet route in the finale, not the steamy one. So this will mostly be fluff with slight steamy moments between Noah and Anna-Rose. 

I am using the names of the characters in my play through, and I am referring to Noah, Elijah & Hazel’s ma as Ms. Harris. 

I will at some point replay the book a further two times so I can write something similar to this for both Mason and Ava. But I do ask you to just bear in mind that Ava might be called Samantha because that’s what I’m choosing to call her. 

Also, this is written in first person, which is different for me as I usually mainly write in 3rd person. But nonetheless, I hope you enjoy this fiction. 

=============================================================

The night after the recital, I sat around the dining table in Noah’s home with his family. Ms. Harris had no idea what to make for dinner, so in my infinite wisdom, I had offered to pop by the store earlier in the day, and with the help of Mason, I was able to get all the ingredients I needed to make my favourite pasta dish. We’d also stopped by a clothing store to buy a couple of new outfits for me to choose from to wear for dinner. But of course, now being part of the family, I couldn’t not get anything for Hazel. So naturally, I spent hours browsing the shelf for the little rascal whilst Mason went through the women’s section, picking out potential options for me. I was starting to feel hopeless in the store we were in when I saw something that was screaming Hazel right at my face. Red is a colour that has always suited her, so when I came face to face with a beautiful red dress, with golden stars printed onto the material and a headband to match. I screamed, snatching up one in her size almost immediately. I was adoring the dress when Mason came rushing round the corner with what looked like a dozen dresses over his shoulders.

“Anna-Rose!” he panted, slightly out of breath.

“Mason? What is it? What’s wrong?” I asked, confusion clear on my face.

“You screamed.”

My face fell before breaking out into a wide grin and eventually laughter erupted from my throat.

“What? Why are you laughing? I don’t get it.” 

“I just found the perfect dress for Hazel, I’m not in danger.”

He scowled at me as I grinned at him before breaking out into laughter of his own, realizing how ridiculous our current situation was. “Right... You didn’t shout the..”

“Codeword of shobaloobagoobleflop.”

“Yeah… that.”

We stood in the moment for a while longer before heading to the fitting rooms for me to try on the dresses he had picked out and carried over his shoulder. After a further 45 minutes in the store, I’d narrowed it down to three options. A stunning silver bodycon dress, but it looked more like something someone would wear to an award show. A beautiful flowing sun dress in a beautiful midnight blue mixed with a little purple colour. And my personal favourite. A simple yet effective shirt dress in my favourite colour and made from my favourite material. Navy blue denim. I already owned a dress similar to this one, but in all the excitement of getting back to Eastridge to support Samantha at her first recital, I’d forgotten to pack it. And nobody can ever own too much denim. Or too many dresses. Right? 

“How’s it going Anna-Rose?” Mason asked loudly from outside the changing room. 

“Uhhh… I don’t know which to choose. I don’t want it to be too much and inappropriate for the dinner table. But I also want to look rejuvenated after actually spending the time cooking which is going to make me tired.” I shouted back.

“Well.. what options do you have left?”

As I told Mason the options I had left in the changing room with me I heard him reacting. 

“Okay. so you so do not want the bodycon. Hand that back.”

“Okay..” I replied as I stuck my arm out of the curtain, dress hanger in hand.

“Thank you, I’ll just pop this back. One moment please,” Mason said and I heard his footsteps retreat, I sat on the stool and looked at myself in the mirror and let out a small chuckle. Six months ago the girl looking back at me was going through so much she thought she might just not wake up one day due to exploding from stress in her sleep. But now, she’s a student at NYAI, is certain in her future, is lucky to have the friends she has and is proud of being the girlfriend to one of the most handsome people she has ever seen.

As I sat staring in the mirror waiting for Mason to return, my phone pinged on the side with a notification. It was a voice note from Noah in response to a message I’d sent whilst I was shopping for groceries with Mason. 

“Anna-Rose, you’re already too sweet for me. But it sounds like a good idea for you girls to get in some premium bonding time. I guess I could spare you for... Let’s say… 2 movies.”

I smiled as I listened to his chuckle and small whispering of “I love you” at the end, I held down the button to record and send my own response to him. 

“Noah Harris, you are not getting out of spending time doing face masks and painting your nails with myself and Hazel by slinking away to watch your videos about macho racing cars, or whatever it is you do. Plus I got our favourite candy! You can’t say no to that!” 

I followed the voice note with a picture of me pouting in the changing room mirror. Just as I locked my phone, I heard Mason return saying my name after clearing his throat. 

“I’ve just spoken to a shop assistant and she said that you should definitely go with the denim dress. It’s perfect pair with black heeled booties and your hair in a braid, pretty much how it is now.”  

I smiled as Mason relayed the information to me and got dressed back into my own clothes before making sure I had everything and pulling back the curtain. These two remaining dresses in hand. 

“Then I guess we’re putting back a sun dress.” 

Mason smiled and before we knew it he was dropping me back off at the Harris household, helping me inside with the bags before bidding me goodbye and leaving to head home. I was unpacking the groceries when I heard small footsteps bounding towards the kitchen, followed by much bigger ones. 

“Anna-Rose! Thank Goodness!” Hazel gasped as she ducked behind my legs as a grinning Elijah rounded the corner. He straightened up upon seeing my presence and swallowed harshly as he cleared his throat. 

“Anna-Rose. Ah. I um-”

“Was just doing what big brothers should do. Playing with their younger siblings and making them happy. Carry on, I just need to unpack these groceries and then I’m going to start preparing for dinner. But, I do want you two to clean up and be settled before your ma and Noah get home from work, okay? They’re going to want some peace and quiet before dinner.”

Elijah and Hazel looked at each other, talking with facial expressions before turning back to me and nodding profusely with large grins. “Okay, Anna-Rose!” they said in unison before carrying on with their game. 

Later on around 5:30pm, the door opened and closed as Noah returned from work, taking a deep inhale. 

“Something smells delicious.” he commented. 

“Anna-Rose is cooking dinner for us sweetie.” Ms. Harris replied as Hazel and Elijah bickered over a crayon’s shape on the floor. 

“No! I’m telling you Elijah. It’s a mermaid!”

“Nooo. it’s definitely a shark.”

Noah looked at them and chuckled from behind me before greeting me with a kiss. 

“Hey gorgeous. Miss me?”

“Of course I did.”

He smiled at me and we shared another kiss before he sighed. “As much as I’d love to stand her and cuddle you whilst you finish cooking, I’m gonna go jump in the shower. I’m covered in grease and brake fluid. It’s not the best smell.” 

“Okay. Dinner won’t be long, only about another 10 minutes maximum.”

“Alright. I’ll try not to be too long.” he winked before walking in the direction of the bathroom. 

I listened back to the conversation happening between Elijah and Hazel.

“But you said that basketballs can be customized to be rainbow. And that you’d get me one with my name on and everything. Even teach me how to play. And you still haven’t.”

“That was before. When my ways weren’t moral at all. I used to be a bad guy, like dad. The only difference between us is, I had a brother and a girl that’s very special to him, show me it’s not too late to be good before I was a copy of dad. So I’m not going to jail. Noah isn’t going back to jail. Ma will be around more often soon too. Things are only going to get better from now on. Okay, kiddo?”

I smiled softly as Hazel turned her head to look at me before looking back at her brother and breaking into a soft smile of her own. “So you’re a good guy now?”

“I’m at the very start. But it was the tortoise who won the race, wasn’t it?”

Hazel nodded with a smile and launched herself into Elijah’s arms. He looked over her shoulder at me and mouthed a “thank you” as tears glossed his eyes. And I knew he meant it. He was on the edge of no return when Noah, Mason, Samantha, Mack, and I found him in that warehouse that night. We could have made the total wrong decision giving him one last chance. But he wasn’t wasting it. It took for him getting severely injured for the danger of the lifestyle he was choosing to register in his mind. But I could tell he was truly sorry for all the pain he had caused. And I could tell that Ms. Harris was happy to have her eldest son back at home safe and away from being a criminal. Just as I was plating up dinner and Hazel was setting the table, Noah walked back into the kitchen, freshly showered and in some cleaner, more comfortable clothes. 

“Hey, Hazel?”

“Yes, Anna-Rose?”

“I could use your help quickly. Would you mind?”

“No, I’m coming!” she chimed and took my hand, following me to her bedroom. 

As we entered she immediately noticed the bag hanging on her door handle. “What’s in the bag?”

“Why don’t you go ahead and take a look?” 

“Okay…” Hazel cautioned as she opened the bag, taking out what was inside, screaming happily. “AH! ANNA-ROSE! HOW DID YOU KNOW I WANTED THIS?!” She abandoned the dress and headband in her bed and rushed into my arms hugging me tightly. “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!” 

I chuckled as she hugged tighter before letting go. “Can you help me put it on?! I want to show Noah and Elijah how many heart’s I’m going to break when I grow up!” She enthused

“I don’t know about that.” I chuckled. “I think they might be a bit protective of you.” 

She gave me her best “and you think I care?” look before we burst into a fit of giggles. I helped her into her dress before disappearing into the bathroom and changing into my own. As we were inside, I didn’t bother with heeled booties as suggested. Instead I put in some fluffy black slippers and gave Hazel a matching pair, then together, we applied some lip gloss before rejoining the rest of the family for dinner. 

“Ohh Hazel! Look at you! You’re so pretty my sweet.” Ms. Harris cooed as she engulfed her in a hug, whilst Noah and Elijah gave me matching skeptical looks.

“What?”

“Do you know-”

“Are you aware-”

They stopped and looked at each other, mumbling an apology at each other. 

“Oh. I get it. You boys are jealous I got Hazel something and not you. Don’t worry. Elijah you’re after your mom who is next month and then Noah, you’re after Samantha, who is after Elijah.” I teased with my best poker face but couldn’t help but break out in a smile as Elijah failed to remain his own poker face beside me at Noah’s twitching eye.

“I’m teasing! Of course you’re next month with your mom. You two deserve something nice with all the hard work you do. I’ll send you details in the post.” I winked at Noah before taking my place between him and Hazel, Ms. Harris flashing me a kind smile. 

“Thank you so much for making us this meal Anna-Rose. I can’t express my gratitude enough.” 

“Your smile is all I need ma’am. Nothing more.” 

“Oh.” Ms. Harris replied as she choked back a sob. “Noah. Don’t you ever do anything foolish and lose this girl. Because I will personally rearrange your entire being myself.” She warned and Noah flashed a grin.

“Don’t worry ma. I don’t plan on it. She’s my everything. I wouldn’t- WE wouldn’t be where we are, had she not come into my life.” Noah reassured her, looking at me lovingly as he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. 

“You’ve got to teach me the game Noah.” Elijah stated.

“What game?” He responded, his adoring gaze never leaving mine.

“The one of scoring a girl of my own with a heart of gold.”

“There is no game.” He said, a small smile gracing his features. “You just have to be your true self, give them your everything and let them know they have you, even if for a while you don’t have them. If they need space to figure out who they are for them to then figure out what they two of you could be. Give it to them. Because if you don’t. You’ll lose them. Forever.” 

I smiled back at Noah softly and gently reached up, swiping the tear from his cheek that left his eye and he voiced the alternative of what could’ve happened to us.

“Noah.” Hazel piped up.

“Yes, ballet master?” 

“You haven’t told Anna-Rose how pretty she looks. That’s really rude. Ma raised you better than that. Also. This pasta is delicious, thank you Anna-Rose.” 

Everyone chuckled at her bluntness as she chowed down on her food. 

“She’s right. I haven’t. You look stunningly gorgeous tonight babe. Thank you for the effort you’ve put in.”

Elijah piped up too. “Yes. Thank you Anna-Rose.” 

“Oh. Guys. It’s nothing, seriously. I just wanted to cook a nice meal for my family.” 

Elijah, Hazel and Ms. Harris froze mid-bite and looked at me. Elijah lowered his fork back to his plate before clearing his throat to speak.

“We- you- but you two aren’t-” he stuttered. 

Noah smirked. “How do you know?” He teased. 

“You didn’t…” Elijah gasped

“Maybe I did.”

“But she would have…”

“Not necessarily.”

“Bro, did you seriously…”

Noah was about to respond when their mom interjected.

“Noah, stop winding your brother up.” 

“Ah, maaa! You ruined the fun. Just look at his face!” Noah chuckled with a gleam in his eye. 

Elijah looked between the two of us for the rest of dinner, I could see the gears turning in his head. Trying to figure out if Noah had popped the question. Even though the answer right now was an obvious no. 

After dinner was done, Elijah offered to do the dishes whilst Ms. Harris announced she was off to bed, leaving myself, Hazel and Noah to take up the living room and watch movies whilst doing face masks. 

As the night wound on, I flooded my Pictagram stories with small videos and various pictures documenting our night. Being careful to stick to Ms. Harris’ rules of not showing off the location of their house. By 10:30pm Hazel was sound asleep on the couch, whilst Noah and I were snuggled on the floor under blankets. We were engrossed in a movie when Elijah stuck his head in the room startling us as he spoke up.

“Hey. Ma wanted m-”

“Ah!” I yelped quietly, Noah gasping beside me.

“Sorry.” Elijah apologized, “Ma asked me to check up on you three. She’s now going to sleep but could help but worry.”

“Oh. Well. Hazel’s asleep. And we were just finishing the movie before heading to be ourselves.” I explained.

“Okay. Let me carry her to bed. Oh, and Anna-Rose?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks. Again. When are you going home to see your dad?” 

“Uhh… tomorrow. Why?” 

“Could I.. tag along? I owe him a massive thanks for risking his job to save my life.” 

I let the question hang in the air for a moment before smiling softly, “Sure. But… you’ll also owe him a profuse apology for leaving his daughters to get arrested for a crime they didn’t have any active part in.” 

“I… yeah. I do. I’ll work on it tonight. Noah?” He jerked his head at his younger brother. Noah raised a brow back at him. “Am I crashing in your room tonight?” 

“No. There’s 15 minutes of this movie left. You can settle on the couch and wait for us to leave, we won’t be long.” 

“Okay. Cool.” 

As the movie finished, I spared a glance over at Elijah who had rejoined us after putting Hazel to bed, and was now asleep on the couch. I felt my brow furrow with concern as I watched him flinch and whimper in his sleep, a cold sweat taking over him before he sat up with a shout, scaring Noah, who was putting the DVD’s away. 

“Hey. It’s alright. You’re okay. You’re safe.” I said softly, gently rubbing his back in circular motions.

“Wha- Where- …”

“You’re at home. With your family.”

He looked at me and his eyes widened in terror.

“You!” He exclaimed pointing an accusatory finger at me. “You’re lying about your full name. Noah doesn’t know it. He only knows the shortened version.”

Noah looked at Elijah suspiciously. “Hey. Are you… okay? What nightmare did you have this time.” 

“She’s a criminal Noah.”

“What? Elijah. She’s not. It was just a bad dream. Anna-Rose, can you grab a bottle of water from the fridge?”

“Sure.”

“No!” He yelled as I turned to leave the room. “She’ll poison it.” He whispered to Noah, earning a confused look in return. 

“Elijah. You’re being silly. Who do you think I am?” 

“The largest serial killer known to man.” 

“What? No. I’m Annabella Rosaline Marianne Price, 1st daughter to the late Sheila Price and her husband Dave Price. I’m a graduate of Eastridge High and am currently pursuing my passion of photography at The NYAI. I’m no murderer. I’m your brother's girlfriend. And I see you as family too. I helped make sure you survived a horrible attack. If I wanted you dead I would have left you.”

I looked on with a steel gaze towards Elijah despite Noah looking at me with his cute puppy dog face. Once Elijah came out of his trance and nodded I turned to Noah and raised a brow.

“What?” I asked softly.

“You’re full name.”

“What about it?”

“It explains why you’re so beautiful… Annabella Rosaline Marianne Price. The woman I will one day, make my wife. I- … Wow.” He whispered softly with a smile, which I gracefully returned.

“I’ll go get that water.” I said as Elijah cleared his throat reminding us of his presence.

--- The Next Day ---

As the sun beamed through the crack in Noah’s curtains, I stirred awake and turned to face the wall with a groan. It couldn’t be morning already could it? I smiled as I felt a soft tickle of breath against my neck followed by Noah’s voice.

“Good morning, beautiful.” He whispered in my ear and I could hear the smile on his face.

“Shhhhhh.” I said back, earning a small chuckle from him as he wrapped his arms around me and snuggled as close as possible. 

“We have a couple hours until we need to get up. How long do you wanna stay like this for?”

“Forever. You’re so warm and snuggly. I’m gonna miss you so much when I go back to New York.”

“I’m gonna miss you too. Though. I have a question.”

I opened my eyes as I turned to face him, his bright blue skies meeting my forest greens. “Shoot.”

“When moments are special. Like this one right now. Can I call you my Annabella?” He blushed.

I smiled at his cuteness. “Only if I can call youuuu…”

“Noah Maurice Harris?”

“What?”

“My middle name. It’s Maurice. After my late grandfather on ma’s side.”

I smiled for a moment bringing my hand to his face and cupping his jaw, caressing his cheek with a gentle thumb. I watched as he closed his eyes and inhaled, peace etching itself on every inch of his face. He somehow looked even more angelic this way than when he had his eyes open. 

“I don’t want to call you your full name. I just want to call you mine.” I whispered, placing a soft kiss on his forehead as his bedroom door opened. Ms. Harris poking her head inside, giving us a smile as she laid her eyes on us. 

“Good morning Anna-Rose. Morning Noah.”

“Morning Ms. Harris”

“Hi ma.”

“Oh. Anna-Rose. Thank you.”

“What for?” 

“I haven’t seen or heard my little baby so relaxed for years. You two truly are meant to be. Thank you for being a safe person for him.” She whispered, gently stroking Noah’s hair and we watched as a small smile crept onto his face. 

“Ma. You’re gonna seal the deal and put me back to sleep in a minute.” Noah smiled lazily and I chuckled softly as Ms. Harris smiled. 

“It’s… nothing Ms. Harris. I… I love him. He’s amazing. His past doesn’t define who he is at heart. A soft, sappy, kind, warm, loving, hopeless romantic. And… and someone who I can see my future with. I would trade what we’re starting to build for ourselves for anything in the world. You’re an amazing mother Ms. Harris. And it’s reflected in both Noah and Hazel. I’m hoping one day we’ll see it in Elijah too. I know it’s there. He just has to stop being afraid to let it shine through. Please never doubt yourself because every one of your kids has the purest of hearts, just like you.”

I reached out and took Ms. Harris’ hand in my own as she sniffled and a tear fell from her cheek onto the pillow beside Noah’s head. 

“I couldn’t ask for a better daughter-in-law than you Anna-Rose. You’ve done so much, not only for this one here but, for Hazel and you helped bring my other boy home. Things feel more complete now, and we have you to thank.” 

I smiled at her as we squeezed each other's hands in an understanding gratefulness. I was thanking her for bringing Noah into this world and she was thanking me for loving him despite the rumors and harsh things being said about him, for reaching deeply and seeing Noah within. Who he truly was. Our moment was interrupted as Elijah poked his head in. 

“Is he not up yet? We’re supposed to be leaving for our morning run in 5 minutes.” 

“Oh shut it Elijah. I’m in a moment of bliss. Go for the run on your own.” Noah slurred. Ms. Harris and I chuckled quietly as Elijah let out an exaggerated sigh with an eye roll before leaving. 

“Well, I popped in to remind you not to be late for work today Noah. And tell you your lunch is in the fridge. I need to be off to work myself. I’ll see you later.” She smiled and pressed a kiss to Noah’s temple and one to my forehead before collecting her bag from the floor and leaving, quietly shutting the door. 

After she had gone, Noah slowly opened his eyes and smiled at me. 

“What?” 

“Nothing. I just… thank you. For treating her so well. She means a lot to me and well… she’s the only parent I’ve got. If it wasn’t for her..”

“Hey! It’s okay. I… it’s been a while since I had a mother figure in my life. And well… your mom’s not exactly mean is she? She deserves the nice words, gifts, and love. To be cherished and shown how amazing she is. Plus. Being rude isn’t in my nature.” I whispered softly

He smiled back at me and I stroked his hair, sighing contently before pushing himself up. “I should join Elijah for our morning run. Then we can cuddle up again when I get back okay?”

“Yeah, sure.” I smiled, sharing a kiss with him before snuggling under his blankets and hugging his pillow.

“NOAH I'M LEAVING!” Elijah shouted.

“ONE MINUTE, I'M TYING MY SHOES!” Noah shouted back and gave me a wink as he pulled his shirt over his head, grabbing his shoes from the rack by the door and walking out. 

There wasn’t much to do whilst he was gone, but put the dishes away from last night's meal and have a shower myself. I was reading a book, coffee mug in hand when Hazel came into the room, plopping herself down next to me. 

“Good morning, Anna-Rose.”

“Good morning, Hazel. Can I get you breakfast?”

“Can you make pancakes?”

“I make the best pancakes. Shall we see if we have all the ingredients?” 

Hazel nodded and together we made pancakes before getting up and dressed. When the boys returned we were sitting watching TV. The rest of the day passed by how you would expect. We played board games and drew pictures, when Ms. Harris arrived home from work, Elijah, Noah, and myself set off for my dad’s house. When we arrived he received us with a warm welcome. Firstly Elijah apologized profusely to dad for the mess he got myself and Mack in. Then he apologized to Mack for even putting her in that position in the first place. By the end of the evening everything was smoothed over and starting to heal. The next morning Mason knocked on the door, he was taking me back to New York today. There were some things I needed to get before college started back up and it was gonna take a while. 

Elijah decided to make his own way back home but Noah was coming with us too. I’d promised him I’d show him the sights. As we travelled along the highway, I couldn’t help but feel sadness. Being miles away from your friends and boyfriend sucks. You just want to stay close forever and make a tone of memories together. But everyone has to lead a life of their own eventually. Mason was Noah’s ride back to Eastridge so he parked in the parking spot outside my dorm and the two helped me inside with my bags. After they were secured safely, I locked my dorm and we headed out to see the sights and go shopping. 

Eventually the part I had been dreading came and I teared up as I stood on my dorm doorstep with Noah, clutching his hands tightly in my own. 

“I wish you could stay.”

“I wish I could stay too. But we’re blessed with phones. We can hear each other daily.”

“It’s not the same as being able to hold you though.”

“I know. But we’ll see each other again over our next break.”

“Promise?”

“Wholeheartedly so, my sweet Annabella.” Noah whispered and I closed my eyes as he pressed a gentle kiss to my forehead before pulling me into a tightened embrace. “Did you hug Mason goodbye?” He mumbled into my hair and I shook my head.

Noah turned to the car and motioned for Mason to join us. He walked over and cleared his throat.

“What’s wrong?”

“You haven’t hugged your friend goodbye. That’s pretty rude Mason.”

Mason sighed and looked at me, opening his arms and I dove into them, squeezing him tightly too. “I'm going to miss you. Have fun in the Navy.” 

“I will.”

I stepped back inside and waved goodbye, watching as Mason's car drove off into the distance. When I could no longer see it, I closed the door and climbed into bed. I had just settled when my phone pinged. Opening the message from Noah I chuckled. It was a goofy selfie of him and Mason pouting as they sat in traffic, captioned “We miss you already 😢” 

Sighing I sent a pouting selfie of my own back captioned “missing you guys too! 🥺😢💔”

Usually I found it hard to fall asleep being away from everyone, in a big city all on my own. But there was something different, I realized as I was drifting off to sleep that all I had to do was count my blessings.

[mrsdobrik]

CHAPTER 16:

A whole week had gone by since Y/n and David had talked about “it” and since that night David had been thinking about asking Y/n to officially be his girlfriend, nothing would change between them but he wanted to be sure they were both on the same page about their relationship.

They had been dating for almost two months at that point and every day they spent together was better than the previous one, if that was even possible. The past two weeks had been especially great, cuddling each other to sleep, reading Arabian Nights, eating chipotle, watching movies, eating chipotle again… life was simply perfect. 

You might be wondering if everything was so perfect why hadn’t Dave pulled the trigger yet, well because... everything was perfect and he was scared that things might change or that Y/n wouldn’t be ready to commit.

Just to show you how amazing things were going… that Sunday David opened his eyes to a big tray filled to the brim with his favorite breakfast foods and Y/n showering him in kisses. David loved the way she looked in the mornings, with her hair all messed up and her sleepy face. She was wearing one of Dave’s hoodies, this time it was the pink clickbait one. 

But that blissful moment was brief and in the blink of an eye Y/n was trying to escape David’s arms that were preventing her from leaving his bed.

“Nooo, I don’t want you to go!!!” David said still not letting her go.

“I know babe! But I need to leave or I am going to be late.”

“But I thought you said you weren’t working today.” He said pouting but finally freeing her. 

“I don’t have work but I have another commitment…” she said as she threw on a pair of jeans and changed the hoodie for a light airy white blouse. 

“Are you…” he started saying before stopping himself. “Nevermind.”

“What is it Dave? You know you can ask me whatever you want” she said looking puzzled at his attitude

“Are you seeing someone else?” He hesitated before asking. 

“Awww… you are jealous? You are so cute… babe…” she said before jumping on top of him and covering his entire face in kisses “no, I am not seeing someone else.”

“Well, then why do you have to leave? If it’s not work or another guy then what could be better than staying here in bed with me?” He said, pulling her to his chest once again. 

“Well… why don’t you come with me? Maybe I can show you where I go on Sunday mornings”

…

About 45 minutes later they had gotten off the bus (Y/n had insisted on them taking the bus) and arrived at an orphanage. 

“Ok, so… this is where I come every sunday. I volunteer here. I help kids with their schoolwork, cook for them, try to make sure they are getting everything they need.” Y/n explained to David as they walked up to the door. 

They hadn’t even rang when the door swung open and three kids that appeared to be between the ages of five and nine ran out and jumped on Y/n hugging her at the waist. She immediately bent down and hugged them all back. 

“Hey guys! How has your week been? Tommy did you finish your homework on time? Lucy how is Mr. Cuddles doing, has he recovered from his surgery yet?”

“Yes I did, I got a B” Tommy said. 

“He is better now, thanks for fixing him, Y/n.” Lucy answered.

“Who is he?” The other boy said pointing at David and eyeing him suspiciously.

“He is my friend David, he came here to spend some time with all of you today. And guess what, he loves superheroes too.” She said, still crouched down to meet his eyes and looking up at Dave for a bit. 

“Cool, we needed someone to be Captain America…” the little boy said looking at David. 

“I think I am more of an Iron Man” David said looking at the kid. 

“No, I am Iron Man, you can be Captain America or Hulk” Tommy chimed in.

“Fine,” David gave in “I’ll be Cap.”

“Go brave heroes! I’ll get started on lunch so you can have enough energy to defeat all the evil guys.” Y/n said laughing at the kids that were already taking David to choose his weapon for the epic battle that was about to take place.

The house was old and run down, the kids didn’t have many toys or clothes from what David could tell but the place was clean and filled with drawings and art pieces made by the kids. He played with the little ones as he peered over to Y/n who was now making lunch. 

“So you like… like Y/n don’t you?” Lucy, the girl from the door asked David when she caught him looking at her. 

“I…” David said not knowing what to answer. 

“Have you told her that you like her? Did you… kiss her?” She asked excitedly

“Puajj…” the two boys said in unison while making disgusted faces. 

“Why don’t we go back to playing superheroes?” David suggested.

“Are you a prince? Are you here to take her to live happily ever after like in the movies?” Lucy kept asking.

“Look! Thanos is about to attack our supersecret lair!” David said, causing all the kids to go back into the game and forget about the question.

…

“Kids! Come to the table, lunch is ready!!” Y/n yelled from the kitchen. 

All the kids run into the room taking their places at the dinner table. Everyone started devouring the food and an elderly lady came in carrying a baby in her arms. As soon as the baby laid eyes on Y/n she started stretching her little arms in her direction and Y/ gladly took her before introducing David and the lady.

“Dave this is Eleanor, Eleanor this is David. Eleanor is the house’s director.” Y/n said rocking the baby in her arms. “And this gorgeous little girl is Posy. Hi sweety! How was your nap?” Y/n said. 

“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, I’ve heard great things about you!” Eleanor said to David. 

Y/n’s face was now blushing as they continued chatting. 

A few minutes later Eleanor joined the kids at the table leaving David, Y/n and Posy alone.

“So this is where you were going every Sunday?” Dave asked, looking at the girl.

“What do you think…?” Y/n said

“I think it’s amazing. I mean the fact that you have not one but two jobs and still make time to volunteer is just… wow”

“You make it sound a lot cooler than it is.” She said blushing slightly and looking up at him.

“I just play superheroes but you truly are one! I just can’t believe my girlfriend is so amazing.” He said just letting the word slip.

“Girlfriend huh… I kind of like how that sounds.” Y/n said looking straight at his eyes.

“Is that a Yes, I’ll be your girlfriend?” Dave asked.

“Sure, I don’t have anything else to do today so why not?” She giggled. She wanted to kiss him badly but seeing the kids at the table behind them stopped her. Lucy was hugging a stuffed bear, presumably Mr. Cuddles and looking straight up at them.

“What are you looking at, young lady?” Y/n asked, smiling at the girl.  

“Nothing!” the little one retorted giggling as she noticed she was caught. 

Once lunch was over Y/n helped the kids with their homework and David played Cap a little bit more. They stayed there the whole day and even read the kids bedtime stories before heading out.

They made their way to Y/n’s apartment and David said

“Today was so amazing, thank you for bringing me along. It’s a great thing that you are doing by helping those kids. You are so wonderful, you never cease to amaze me.” while pulling her close to his chest and planting a kiss on the top of her head.

“You were amazing too! You even played Captain America, when it’s obvious you are more of an Iron Man.” she giggled. “I love going there, those kids are just so great and they just deserve someone to help them, play with them and read them stories”

“I don’t think there is anyone better than you to do that.” he said before leaning in for a kiss. 

“My boyfriend is such a softie,” she said. Dave loooved his new title, he was ready for the adventure to continue. 

[lovemesomesurveys]

Serious question, peanut butter or nutella? Peanut butter. I don’t get the Nutella hype to be honest.

Do you prefer baked potatoes or mashed potatoes? I refuse to choose cause I love both.

What is your oldest sibling’s middle name? I’m not sharing that.

Do you like breadsticks? Yes. The more cheesy-garlicky, the better. <<< Yesss. With marinara or some kind of olive oil sauce for dipping.

What are your favorite things to spend money on? Food and clothes.

Which would you rather have a new puppy or kitten? Puppy. 

How old will you be on your next birthday? 33. 

Do you ever feel self-conscious when you eat around other people? Yes. I’m a picky and particular eater, even when it comes to how I eat. Plus, I take forever to finish my food, so I’ll still be eating longgg after everyone else and I just feel awkward and rushed cause I don’t want to keep anyone waiting.

When you opened your eyes this morning, what were your first thoughts? What time it is is generally my first thought. 

What is one thing in the room you’re in that reminds you of somebody? A framed photo of my dog, Brandie, who passed away December 26, 2016.

Would you ever want to be a supermodel, or date one? I have no desire to be one. Not like I’d be cut out to be one anyway, so it works out. As far as dating one... I don’t know if I’d want to date anyone in the spotlight like that. That kind of life is not for me. 

Honestly, have you ever made fun of somebody so bad they cried? Nooo. I don’t make fun of people or purposely try to hurt someone.

Honestly, would you rather be complimented on your looks or intelligence? Intelligence.

Have you ever purchased a pregnancy test, for yourself or otherwise? No.

You can get one thing, anything, for free right now. What do you pick? Why? All expenses paid vacation.

Honestly, have you ever danced naked? No.

What was the first illegal thing that you did? Did you get caught? Take candy from the candy bins at the grocery store when I was a kid. I was a big rebel, I know. 

What is the home page on the computer you’re on? Google.

Do you like to write poetry? I don’t write poetry. I’m not a poet and I do know it. 

Are your ears pierced? Yeah, my earlobes.

If so, were they pierced with a piercing gun, or with a sterile needle? I’m not sure, since my mom had them pierced when I was a baby. I would guess piercing gun, though. <<<

Do you wear makeup regularly? No. Prior to my brother’s grad party back in May it had been like 4 years since I wore any makeup. I haven’t worn any since then. 

Did you eat cereal for breakfast today? No, I made a microwave breakfast egg scramble thing with these microwave mini pancakes. 

When was the last time you tripped over something? My doggo likes to leave her toys right in the way so it’s not such a rare occurrence. 

Who was the last person you yelled at? Not yell, but had to get stern with my doggo earlier when my aunt brought her doggo over. Mine was getting too hyper and excitable and wanted to play of course, but her dog is a tiny chihuahua and was scared. My dog forgets how big she is sometimes lol. To be fair, she hasn’t had a lot of interaction with other dogs, which is something we should have tried to do more.

Why did you yell at them? ^ That.

Favorite type of apple? The brand, ha.

Ever seen live horse racing? No.

How about live greyhound racing? No.

What’s one thing, besides the obvious, that you couldn’t live without? I need my coffee, ha.

Have you ever touched a giraffe? No, I wish!

What does your mom call you? She often calls me “Sis.” What stresses you out the most in life? My health.

Do you play any PC games? What is your favorite? Yeah, The Sims 4. I’ve been obsessed again lately. I go through phases with it.

If you were pregnant, how would you tell the father? Well, that would depend on the circumstances. Did we want a baby? Was it a bad surprise, a happy surprise? I can't answer this with just one idea. < Yeah. <<<

What’s the hardest level you can play on Guitar Hero? I rocked out hard on easy mode, ha.

What ever happened with you and your first boyfriend? I realized I wasn’t ready for a relationship and he was moving too fast for me so I ended it.

What’s your favorite country song? I like several, but the first that just randomly popped into my head is “Rainbow” by Kacey Musgraves.

What is the worst thing a former boyfriend/girlfriend has done to you? Use and play me.

What were you for Halloween last year? I stopped dressing up a few years ago.

Are you feeling guilty for something? Yes, a few things. 

Are you usually quiet or loud? Most definitely quiet. No one would describe me as loud.

How many hours do you spend on the computer a day? It really varies. Some days definitely more than others.

What is the show that you watched when you were little, and you still do? Rugrats, Hey Arnold, and Doug to name a few.

Do your siblings text you? My younger brother does.

Do you want a small or big wedding? I don’t plan to ever get married.

Have you ever searched for your own house on Google Earth? Of course. That was like the first thing everyone did when it came out, which is quite funny because you could search anywhere and we chose our own house haha.

Who is your ex dating/talking to? I have no idea nor do I care to be honest.

Ever kissed someone who smokes? No.

Does it take a lot for someone to annoy you? No, especially not nowadays. I’m so moody and irritable.

Do you own your own computer? I do.

Did you ever have to share a room with one of your siblings? No.

What noises in the room you’re in, do you hear at the moment? The ASMR video I’m listening to, my fans, and myself typing.

Have you ever dated someone with longer hair than yours? No.

What’s the biggest upcoming event for you? I don’t have any.

What do you typically order from Wendy’s? Meh, I rarely go to Wendy’s but if I did I’d just get a cheeseburger, fries, and a frosty.

Have you ever been given a lapdance by an actual stripper? No.

What do you love most about yourself? :/

Have you ever received a hickey from the last person you kissed? No.

What are you doing right now? This and listening to an ASMR video.

What’s bothering you right now? My stomach.

What was the last thing you drank? Water.

Be honest, do you like people in general? I’m not a people person.

Do you want your tongue pierced? No.

Do you change your phone background a lot? I change it for the season or holiday. Have you ever made someone so mad that they broke something? Not that I know of.

Have you ever been strip searched? No.

Do you have a funny last name? Does anyone make fun of it? No, a lot of people have said they like it.

Ever have a drug overdose? What did you OD on exactly? No.

Do you get sick of people who call themselves bipolar all the time? People do throw that term around too loosely. That one and OCD.

Describe your day so far in three words: My stomach hurts.

What was the most stressful project you had so far/while in school? There had been many.

Choose one- Butterfinger, Milky Way, Snickers: Butterfinger.

Have you ever stepped in dog poop? Ugh, yes.

What was the last thing you spent money on? Food.Yeah.

Have you ever slept in the same bed with the last person you kissed? No.

Is there a guy that knows a lot about you? Yeah.

Is there someone you just can’t imagine your life without? My parents and brother.

Do you prefer Starbucks coffee or small cafe coffee? Ooooh, both. I love coffee. <<<

Would you ever consider getting a piercing in your septum? No.

Do you enjoy being outdoors? At the beach, yes.

Do people tell you that you have an accent? No.

Do you enjoy watching fireworks on the 4th of July? I wish they weren’t so damn loud.

What’re some unspeakable subjects for you? Meh.

Is there anyone you would take a bullet for? My parents and brother.

Do you enjoy tanning? I don’t mind if I get one while I’m at the beach, but I don’t actively go tanning or get tanned.

Are you a virgin? Yes.

Who’s your celebrity crush? Alexander Skarsgard.

Did or do you get good grades in English class? Yep. English was always my best and favorite subject.

What part of your body are you self-conscious about? All of it.

Are you expected to help fix Thanksgiving dinner? No. I like doing the appetizers, though.

Have you ever lost anyone close to cancer? No.

Do you personally know anyone who is transgender? No.

When was the last time you got a shot? It’s been many years.

[sanghyukstattoos]

I'm sure of that. Dawon stans, show up here! 🙋🏻‍♀️ About your requests open, this is the best news ever 😍 So, let me think... What about something cute, I don't know well, maybe a cuddle night with a sweet make out session? Or a late night date watching the stars... Something like that. I'm lacking with my ideias these days, so feel free to improve it. And thank you ^.^ 💟 - 🦋

Date night 

Pairing: Lee Sanghyuk I Dawon x Reader 

Genre: Fluff

Words: 2699

Summary: Today, the heart- warming memories of how you two started dating came back to you and while work may not have been the best, it sure felt like the right day for a date with your loving boyfriend, Sanghyuk. 

A/N: Heyyy 🦋, I’m sorry for making you wait once again but here it is! *Presents proudly* I loved your idea and had such an amazing time writing it. Also, I’ve been receiving support on my other fic ‘Warmth’ and I’m really thankful for that so here is another fic that I hope you can enjoy!

Dates weren’t uncommon between the two of you but suddenly reminded of how much you love him, there had to be a date for a date somewhere in the near future. Since you started dating during the summer of last year, tooth- rotting fluff between the two of you made you shy. The kind of shy where you would smile widely but look away and try to force it off your face. You were embarrassed at how he made you feel so you tried to hide it and send subtle signs hoping he would get the hints.

Unfortunately he didn’t because anytime you would flirt, he would do the same under the guise of friendship. Ripples of frustration made its course through you and one day, all your pent up feelings splashed like a bucket of paint hurled across canvas. You didn’t go for the obvious options of screaming, shouting or crying but just kissing him. Pouring all your feelings into one kiss, relief flooded through you and the desire to hug him overcame you but holding back you hoped that at least this time he would be able to return your feelings. That is exactly what he did and ever since then, the both of you have been going strong. 

In the past couple of weeks there had been changes in your work. A change of leadership and office politics not only made the atmosphere tense but working with your team was hard. Back straight and unbiased smiles towards everyone, you made sure to do an excellent job of not getting involved in any drama. The outcome would be greater than getting involved however, it was eating away at you and you could see that the same was happening with your co-workers. The less the issue was treated, the more difficult it became to solve it. 

Break time came and you were about to leave when a buzz caught your attention. It may have been a passing moment’s worth of information travelling through your visual field but you knew it was him. 

Picking it up, you read, ‘’Hey, how is work? Are your co-workers still having that fight 😂😢’’ causing a smile to light up your face. 

Laughing, you texted back, ‘’Hey, work is still the same. Oh yes, they definitely are and this is making everyone antisocial 🤧 Feels great to be here, you know💀 How is your work?’’. 

Collecting your coat and making a headway for the elevator, you exited the building and walked towards the café opposite- not an unusual place to meet up with colleagues from different departments. 

Opening the door, you were greeted with the distinct smell of cinnamon and pecan nuts. Your eyes caught your friends sitting at different tables. They look like a bunch of students gossiping but the difference is that it’s over coffee. You smiled at the thought. They instantly recognised you and waves were exchanged. Making your way to the table and taking a free seat, a senior spoke, 

‘’I heard that there are some plans underway to build a building at the back’’ to which someone else replied, ‘’Is that where all the resources are going? We need more hole punchers though, because someone seems to be stealing all of them.’’ eliciting laughs from those at the table. 

Your phone buzzed back and opening the message, you read, ‘’Oh nooo, is my baby having a hard time? Don’t worry, some things take time so cheer up and hope for the best~~. Also, I’ve been thinking, since you need a break, why don’t we go on a date?’’. 

Your heart skipped a little at the mention of a date and you texted back, ‘’Ah yes, your baby is having a hard time T_T. Is there a small chance if any, for me to scream on the rooftop tonight? Thank you, I’ll be here waiting 🙋‍♀️ A date sounds super refreshing right now and I wouldn’t mind the idea ~^~’’. 

Online now he texted, ‘’Hehe, you’ll get plenty of hugs when you get home. Very funny or did you forget that we don’t have a roof? Obviously you didn’t so do you think our neighbours will call the police, they think we’re are crazy people already..’’

Resisting the urge to laugh, you replied, ‘’I don’t even know who our neighbours are, should I just call it a half day and head home? Time and place for our date?’’. 

‘’That’s cute ;) I’ll pick you up but at what time do you finish today? Also, I don’t remember our neighbours being scary or anything like that 😶. This one’s a bit random but one day, just one day, lets sleep in. The place is a surprise and no, it doesn’t matter how many times you budge me, I won’t tell you 😘 ‘’ came his reply.

Looking back up from the screen and sipping your coffee, you decided that you had a decent amount of time remaining. 

You texted him back with, ‘’I finish at 5:30 today, what about you? I could meet you at home if there is a lot of waiting time. It’s a bit random ahaha, I wouldn’t mind sleeping in and plus we could do it on a Friday so we have a three-day weekend. Because you won’t tell me, I’m super excited now. You may get into trouble if I call you right now but just wait, when we meet I’m going to shake it out of you😊’’. 

You could picture him laughing a little on the other side as he replied, ‘’I finish at 4:15 today so I’ll pick you up and don’t worry, it’s only a little bit of a wait. I love how we are scheduling a perfect time for us to be lazy and you know what? That sounds absolutely amazing to me right now so tell when you want to do that. Also, my lips are sealed 🤐 🤗 ’’. 

Excited for the date, a small smile reached your face as you texted back, ‘’I’d love that too so tomorrow let’s schedule it together. Alright, I guess I can wait for up to 6 hours 😑 I can’t wait to meet you though, see you soon.’’.

‘’Whoever said 6 hours is long? I can already see you frowning at the mention of that 😂 😂 . Anyways, see you soon babe’’ you read and pocketed your phone with the thought of a date lingering at the back of your mind. 

Break ended within the span of a couple of minutes and exiting the café, you made your way back to work. A small sigh escaped your lips thinking about the workload but you straightened your back and walked confidently pursuing the idea of dedicating these hours to doing what you loved the most. Even if it meant dealing with the tension, in hindsight, the office would most likely joke about it after it ended so until that time came, you just had to wait. 

Sitting at your desk, you took in a deep breath preparing yourself for whatever was to come. Powering through the work felt satisfying, if not, at ease because not only did you get most of your work done, it was almost the end of the day and you could finally see your boyfriend- the moment you had been waiting for. 

It had always been like this as the day was fun but the most exciting part was leaving knowing that you had done what you came for. In the elevator, your senior from another department walked in. Recognition flashed across your faces and you greeted one another but subtly, you felt nervous.

 Your co-workers absolutely, and you meant absolutely spent all day dreaming about how fit this man was. You couldn’t have disagreed more, nudging Sanghyuk forward as more fit even though he wouldn’t admit it even if his life depended on it. ‘’You okay?’’ he asked and you looked up, wondering what was happening. Small talk?. Nodding, you asked, ‘’You okay?’’ sealing the awkwardness in one question. After this you highly doubted any more words would be exchanged. 

Nodding, the rest of the ride was in silence and after exiting, the both of you parted ways like a middle parting hairstyle. Reaching for the doors, you kept a lookout for Sanghyuk’s car spotting it almost instantly. Inside, you could see him on his phone so you knocked hoping to scare him just a little bit and scared he was. Laughing as you opened the door, he placed a soft kiss on your lips, whispering a small, ‘’hey’’. Mouthing ‘’hey’’ back, he asked, ‘’Are you ready?’’. In excitement you replied, ‘’I’ve been waiting for this moment all day, so let’s go!’’. He laughed at your enthusiasm and you joined in, feeling content. 

‘‘By the way, you never told me where we’re going!’‘ you spoke suddenly, startling Sanghyuk. Ahahaha, he thinks I’ve forgotten, but forgotten I have not. ‘’Why do I feel like this is the start of you badgering me for information?’‘ he said as he laughed, rubbing his forehead. Nodding, you smiled replying, ‘‘Do we even know each other?’‘ drawing a laugh from him. 

‘‘Thank goodness the place isn’t that far away then’‘ to which you asked, ‘‘How far is it?’‘ knowing that wherever this place is, it was going to be at least half an hour away and that was enough time to break the surprise. ‘‘Forty five minutes’‘ he replied with a pink tint to his cheeks making you squeeze in delight. ‘‘Please tell me you can wait for that long’‘ he stated, making me look out the window and laugh. His eyes widened as you grabbed his hand in yours and you could tell from the look on his face that he was suspicious. 

‘‘You’re always doing something like that you know, like poking me or what not so honestly, I’m scared right now’‘ he said with a rush and almost immediately followed with, ‘‘Babe, I’m driving’‘. Suppressing the urge to tickle him, you wiggled your finger threateningly in the air as if to intimidate.

 Unimpressed and with the flattest look in his eyes, he stated, ‘’Bring it on. I’m just thinking right now, what’s the worst that could happen?’’ but you knew that his weakness was being ticklish, something you would love to voice loudly on speakers. Giggling, you raised it and dashed it as close to his suit jacket as possible, retreating when he smiled at your antics. Using a childish voice he said, ‘‘Cute’‘ dragging the end as far as the wide ocean and this time, it was your turn to be unimpressed. 

‘‘Wow, that’s mature’‘ which led him to give you an offended look. Bringing a hand to your mouth, you laughed to which he replied, ‘‘Coming from you?’‘. ‘‘Excuse me!’‘ you spluttered and the both of you sat there laughing. He shifted the position of your hands onto your lap and on the open road, the trees and the house passed by in a blur. If you looked back, the speed slowed down and everything was much clearer and resting your head on the headrest, you took in the fresh sandalwood scent of the car’s interior while the warm rays of sun ran across the dashboard as the ending of the trail led to his hand on the wheel. The backdrop a blur, your eyes traced the lining of his nose bridge all the way to his jawline, admiring his relaxed face. 

It wasn’t exactly a wonder but in the span of less than forty-five minutes, the sky had begun to darken. A pink and purplish hue descended mixing in with the darkness of the blue night sky. Among the low moon, the stars that littered the sky caught your eyes and this was the first time you had paid attention to the beauty of the sunset speaking gently, ‘’The sky is so pretty today’’. 

Looking up, he sucked in a sharp breath as he took in the stunning sight. ‘’It is’’ he said in agreement. Breaking the comfortable silence that enveloped the two of you, he stated with joy in his voice, ‘’We almost reached by the way’’ peaking your focus on your surroundings. 

‘‘Not a lot of people come here so we should have the place to ourselves’‘ he said, turning left and finding a parking spot. Stepping out, the wind blew calmly like the sea breeze at the beach- welcoming and pleasantly. Coming around the side, he hugged your hand in his own and tenderly tugged you along. 

‘’Where are we?’‘ you asked looking up at him with wide, honest eyes. ‘‘Somewhere where you can relax. A colleague recommended this place so I’m just as new to this place as you are.’‘ he ended with a twinkling laugh. Adorned with tiny, green plants, the pathway wasn’t lit but there was just enough moonlight for the both of you to walk up. From the distance, you realised how much wider the place actually was.

Sculpted, a dark green hedge was accompanied by dome- shaped, glossy bright orange flowers that could be seen even as night approached. It acted as an entrance and replaced all the signs welcoming confused visitors. Leading you towards a bench, the two of you took a seat side-by-side. He left your hand and instead wrapped an arm around your shoulder pulling you to rest your head on his chest. 

‘’Are you cold?’’ he asked and you shook your head disagreeing. ‘’You were right, this place is really relaxing. Thank you for thinking of me and bringing me here’’ you said in appreciation. Moving his right arm to the side of your head, he turned your head so that you were face to face with him. Eyes, a warm shade of dark brown, he connected his lips with yours.

Sweet passion fruit and milk chocolate, the sky blue hydrangeas bloomed; in the distant ambience of the place, a bird took its first flight, soaring. Carefully and softly, your lips moved with the flow of his lips which feel velvety and delicate. Leaning away, the both of you took a breath as he said, ‘’You know those people who you just click with? As in, you become their best friends and they become special to you. So always- I will always think of you.’’.

Your hands moved up to his face and capturing his cheeks, your lips met his. Connecting for the second time, he felt just as sweet as the first, like every kiss you had shared. Endearingly, he managed to daze you each time reminding you of the shiny and sugary glaze on doughnuts, simple and classic. 

Smiling, your hands moved to smooth his hair which really didn’t need any smoothing but you felt the need to press his face in between your hands. Slyly you said, ‘’I think I like you, like a lot’’ to which he chuckled and said, ‘’I like you a lot too so stay with me’’. ‘’I’m not going anywhere, I’m just here to bother you’’ you replied with a giggle and facing you he incredulously asked, ‘’Did you just ruin-?’’.

Laughing while shaking his head, he pressed a kiss to the side of your forehead making your cheeks turn pink. When you returned the kiss, he questioned, ‘’What was that for?’’ and looking at his flushed cheeks, you smiled at the accomplishment. ‘’Just so, for once, you can feel how you make me feel’’ you replied with a bright smile. 

Hand to his chest he acted like his chest was hurting and breathing hoarsely said, ‘’Slow down’’ making you laugh a little. Settling down, your head went back to lean on his chest. Fingers gently pushed your hair out of your face; you moved your arms to envelope his torso, feeling the toned lines. Lying in his embrace, the two of you sat and watched the stars.

 Therapeutic, your relationship was something that you looked forward to everyday because apart from seeing one another, new adventures and exciting thrills came your way. Ultra realistic stills of your time with him were printed and couldn’t be easily forgotten so together, you took baby steps, one day at a time.