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p-artsypants · 11 months

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The Last Flying Grayson

While out on duty, Robin sees a billboard that chills his soul. ‘Haly’s Circus 3000 Phoenix Tour, coming to Jump City at the end of June!’ Not long after, Mr. Haly reaches out to the Titans for a favor.

Ao3 | FF.net

“I’m beat!” Cyborg lamented, slouching forward. “I hate chasing Mumbo. He’s annoying and he turned my car into a wind up toy.”

“I’m right here,” said Mumbo, returned to his old man form. “Not much of a crime spree if I stay in one place, is it?”

“Man, shut up!”

“It’s alright Cyborg,” Robin patted his back. “Let’s drop Mumbo off with the police and then we can pick up some pizza for din—” as he spoke, he turned to look at their favorite pizza place, only to see a large Billboard next to it.

Haly’s Circus 3000!

Phoenix Tour!

Coming end of June!

He stood frozen. Suddenly confronting his past like this was not something he was prepared for.

“Hey, you okay?” Asked Cyborg. “You look paler than usual.”

“Yeah dude, you look like you’ve seen a ghost!”

He tore his gaze away from the billboard and looked back at his team. This was his present, and that was his past. There was no reason he couldn’t stop in and say hello, but there was no use lingering on it. “I’m fine. I just…suddenly realized how much paperwork I had to do.”

“Oh Robin, you must not lock yourself up in that office!” Starfire cried.

“Yeah dude! It’s movie night!”

“I’ll do the paperwork on the kitchen table, how about that?”

Beast Boy and Starfire cheered.

As they carried Mumbo off to the car, Raven caught Robin taking one last look at the billboard.

She knew more than the others.

She had been inside his head and saw his memories. It was brief, but she saw it. Whether or not this ‘Haly’s Circus 3000’ was the same one from his memories, she didn’t know. But it wasn’t her place to ask.

—-

Robin’s past came back to haunt him a few days later.

They were all gathered in the ops room, playing a card game together and hanging out, just being teens.

“Ha!” Beast Boy put down a card with a tornado on it. “I bet none of you nerds can beat that!”

Cyborg groaned. “Man, I had a lightning storm! I was certain I had it!”

“I got nothing,” said Raven.

“I, as well, have nothing to beat the tornado.”

“Well well well, looks like Beast Boy is cleaning up!”

“Not so fast, Grass Stain,” Robin taunted. “I still have one card.”

Beast Boy gasped. “You would not.”

Robin slammed the card down onto the pile. “Meteor shower! Read it and weep!”

“Noooo! That’s three games in a row! How do you keep winning!?”

“Let’s just say lady luck is a personal friend of mine.”

“You have a lady friend named ‘Luck’?” Starfire asked, a pout on her face.

“Relax Star, it’s just an expression.”

“Then…perhaps we can play once more and I can befriend this Lady of Luck?”

“Nah, I’m done,” said Beast Boy. “I got my butt kicked on the field enough times this week, I don’t need it kicked in my own home.”

The big screen came to life with an unknown caller number on it.

“Ohhh unknown caller? How much do you want to bet it’s a salesman?”

Robin’s jovial mood plummeted as butterflies erupted in his stomach. He had a feeling. “I don’t think it’s a salesman,” he said, subdued. He rose, and answered it.

A portly man with a curly mustache wearing a striped shirt appeared on the screen. A big smile came over his face. “Robin! Good to see you, lad!”

Of course he knew. ‘Robin’ and ‘Boy Wonder’ had been nicknames from the circus. His uniform was nearly the same too. Not to mention the death defying stunts he performed while crime fighting. It wouldn’t be that hard for anyone from Haly’s to piece it together. But, since Haly’s left Gotham and promised to never return, he hadn’t been concerned. Now, he was.

“Mr. Haly,” he greeted with a nod.

“I don’t want to take up much of your time. I’m sure you and your team are very busy.”

“Busy losing at cards,” Beast Boy grumbled.

“What do you need?” Robin asked.

“I’m not sure if you heard, but we’re having a comeback tour, and next month, we’re coming to Jump City!”

“I saw the billboard.”

“Oh good! I had hoped that advertising was working. I had an idea. We used to do these charity nights where we had special benefactors sponsor us, and all ticket sales would go to the benefactor’s chosen charity.”

Of course he remembered. It was why Bruce Wayne had been there the night that—

Robin assumed, “and you were hoping the Titans could sponsor a show?”

“That’s right! Of course, you would all be considered guests of honor and get VIP seats. But, if it’s not in the budget, I’d understand.”

“I’m sure we can make that happen,” Robin smiled. This conversation was going smoother than he expected. It seemed like Haly was being considerate enough to not assume everyone else knew who he was.

“And…I have a personal favor to ask.”

There it was. “What’s that?”

“I was wondering if you could find someone for me. You see, our circus has many new acts, and some old faces too, but…the Flying Graysons were still the greatest. I was hoping you could find Richard, the Last Flying Grayson, and see if he has it in his heart to perform as a special act. Just one night, as an homage to his parents. Is that something you could do for me?”

Robin was quiet for far too long before he agreed, “yeah, I’ll find him and ask.”

“Excellent. I know this is rather short notice. We’re planning on coming in two weeks, with the first show at the end of June. We were hoping you’d sponsor the show on June 27.”

“June 27th, huh?” There was no hiding the grief in his voice.

“Unless you’d prefer another day.”

“I’ll make it happen, Mr. Haly.”

“Wonderful! Wonderful! Let him know he can reach me at this number once he knows what he’ll need for his act. I can’t wait for you to see how the show looks now!”

Robin’s throat felt tight. “Is Zitka still there?”

“Of course! Fat on peanuts, but she’s still beautiful.”

Robin couldn’t help but smile. “Great to hear. We’ll see you in a few weeks then.”

“See you!” And the call ended.

“Soooo…” Beast Boy grinned. “Who was that?”

“An old friend,” Robin said vaguely. He really didn’t want to talk about it, but knew if he made a big deal about not wanting to talk about it then they’d pry and pry and pry until he talked about it!

“That’s obvious,” said Cyborg. “But what’s the story!? You know circus people?”

Robin swallowed. “They performed in Gotham City for a time. I knew them from my time there.” Half a lie. “I owe Haly a favor.” That was the truth.

“Man, you have the coolest experiences from working with Batman and you never talk about them!”

He scoffed, “like the 22 times Two-Face robbed the Second National Bank of Gotham of all its 2 dollar bills? Yeah, real exciting stuff.”

“Please,” began Starfire, “this sir-cuss is a performance, like theater?”

“Sort of,” Robin smiled. “Circuses travel from city to city, and perform in big tents. There’s big animals, strong men, clowns, all sorts of performers.”

“And who is this Zitka and why is she full of peanuts?”

“She’s an elephant.”

“Cool! Robin’s friends with an elephant!” Cyborg smiled.

“UM HELLO? You all are!” Beast Boy morphed into an elephant.

Cyborg grabbed his trunk. “I meant a real elephant, dummy!”

Beast boy shifted back, rubbing his nose. “So what is he having you do? Something about finding a performer? A Flying Grayson?”

He was afraid of this. It was too close. He had to play it cool, pretend it was nothing. He was removed from the situation, and none of it mattered.

Or he could tell them the whole truth.

Nononononono no. No. Not happening.

“The Flying Graysons…were the headliner. A family of trapeze artists,” he began. “Gotham is full of crazies like the Joker and Two-Face, yes, but it also has a lot of mafia activity. An extortionist threatened Haly, and when Haly didn’t pay up, the thug messed with the rigging to The Flying Graysons’ act.” Robin swallowed harshly. “John and Mary Grayson…f-fell. Their son, Richard, survived.” He sighed. “I saw it happen. It was…pretty traumatic.”

“What of the foul man that committed the crime?” Starfire asked.

“Batman and I beat him up and threw him in jail.”

“So, I guess this Richard guy owes you a favor, huh?” Beast Boy smirked.

“I suppose.”

“Need any help tracking him down?” Offered Cyborg.

“Nah, I know where to find him.”

“I don’t know dude,” Beast Boy wondered. “If my parents died in an accident like that, I’d never touch the trapeze again. Is he still practicing?”

“Not exactly, but he can do it.” Robin headed for the door. “I’m going to go ahead and reach out to him. Have fun with your cards.”

As he departed and was alone, his shoulders sagged heavily and the tears started to well up. “Not yet,” he whispered.

He walked swiftly towards his room, only to be halted by Raven appearing from the floor.

“Wanna talk about it?” She asked.

“About what?” Sooth.

“Robin, I’ve been in your head. I saw your memories. I don’t know the details, but that fall that you witnessed was a prominent memory.”

He had almost forgotten that she had read his mind. Raven was considerate enough to not do it very often to people.

“I’m fine, and I don’t need to talk about anything,” he said sternly, walking past her. Then he felt a wave of guilt, because Raven, the one friend who was the least likely to reach out, was concerned. “But thanks for the offer.”

—-

The next few weeks were quiet. Robin shared no more information about the Circus. He never said if he found Richard Grayson. In fact, he didn’t say much at all. He spent most of his days in his room. He admitted that he had been working in his office a lot of late nights, so he was taking naps during the downtime of the day.

One night at dinner, Beast Boy asked a question that Robin dreaded. “So…I was walking past your room, and I heard a sewing machine?”

Robin nearly dropped his fork.

“What’s all that about?”

Robin gnawed the inside of his cheek. “I’m working on a new costume.”

Starfire nearly floated out of her chair. “Are you becoming Nightwing?!”

“No, not quite,” he smiled at her enthusiasm. “I’m just…making a prototype.” Another lie.

“Can we see it?” Cyborg asked.

“When I’m done, I’ll show you.” Not a lie!

—-

Soon, the date arrived.

Robin banked on the fact that Beast Boy was too preoccupied by games to notice what he was wearing. Just in case, we wore a trench coat over his new costume.

“Beast Boy, I have to leave early for the show, but I’m leaving your guys’ tickets on the counter with instructions.”

“Okay Robby, see you later!” Beast Boy didn’t even turn around.

Robin, the Boy Wonder, exited the tower, and Richard Grayson, the Last Flying Grayson, entered Jump City.

—-

Hours later, the Titans assembled in the ops room, preparing to leave.

“Hey, where’s Robin?”

“Oh, he left hours ago,” Beast Boy said easily. “But I think he left a note around here somewhere…”

“You mean this?” Raven picked up the paper that was very clearly right in front of them.

“Haha…yeah…”

“Dear Titans, I went early to pick up Mr. Grayson. I have left your tickets for you. Your seat numbers are on them. Don’t wait for me, I will meet up with you during the show. Love, Robin.”

“He can be so sweet,” Starfire smiled.

“Yeah yeah, bunnies and flowers, can we go? I’m starving!”

“Oh yeah baby! Carnival food!”

“This isn’t a carnival, it’s a circus,” Raven corrected.

“I hope they have popcorn! No! Pretzels!”

“Whatever they have, I hope it’s deep fried and delicious!”

They piled in the T-Car and made their way out to the edge of town. From even a few miles away, they could see the massive red and white tent, alight with search lights.

“Whoa…” Beast Boy gawked.

“Oh this is most exciting! Such an event on Tamaran would include the beheading of a shnerkel! Will any animals have their heads placed on pikes?”

“Uh…no.” Beat Boy looked ill. “The circus is a fun place with no maiming.”

“Actually,” said Cyborg. “I think their whole thing is death-defying stunts. So doing dangerous things to inspire awe.”

“Fascinating! I believe Robin called that ‘thrill seeking’?”

“Similar,” Said Raven. “Maybe you should just wait and see. It's hard to explain.”

They drove up to the gate, where a man in a purple clown costume waited. “Good evening! You must be the Teen Titans! Robin saved you a parking spot up front. Go ahead.”

“Awww Robin saved us a place so I don’t have to worry about my baby getting scratched!” Cyborg sniffed. “You’re right Star, he really can be sweet sometimes.”

Starfire giggled while Beast Boy made a gagging sound.

Cyborg parked up front, next to Robin’s motorcycle, and then they made their way to the entrance of the tent. They passed the ticket stand that had a sign up that stated ‘Sold out’. Next to the door was a huge poster of a silhouette of an acrobat swinging on a trapeze. The font read ‘One night only, The Last Flying Grayson!’ The song of a calliope rang through the air.

“Sounds like we picked the right show to sponsor,” Cyborg noted.

The tent was massive, with seating all the way around. Four giant poles held up the tent, which was blue with stars on the inside.

“Tickets please,” said a woman in a glittery leotard.

Starfire handed them over.

“Of course! You’re the Titans. You’ll be sitting in the VIP box, in section A.” She pointed to a spot in the bleachers that was raised up and out a little, presumably for the best view.

“We should sponsor more events,” Beast Boy grinned.

“Enjoy the show!” The woman smiled, handing back the tickets.

As they crossed the tent, Cyborg got a whiff of the concession stand. “I’m gettin’ in the food line before it gets too long. Whatchu guys want?”

“Oh! I would like a hot dog with a gratuitous amount of mustard!” Starfire licked her lips at the very idea.

“I’ll wait in line with you Cy,” said Beast Boy.

“Raavveeennnn,” Cyborg sang. “They have pretzels!”

“My day is made,” she droned.

Starfire and Raven went to their seats to wait for the boys.

“Where do you think Robin is?” Starfire asked, standing to peer through the crowd. People were still arriving and the stands were filling.

“Couldn’t say,” Raven shrugged. “Maybe he gets to help the Ringmaster or something.”

Like she summoned him, her communicator buzzed. “Robin to Starfire, come in, Starfire.”

“This is Starfire. Where are you?”

“You’ll see me soon. I need a favor.”

“Anything!”

“When I give the signal, I need you to prepare a Tamaranean discus maneuver.”

“What? Why?”

“Just trust me.”

“Alright, you know best. Where do you wish me to aim you?”

“At the center ring, the stage right in front of you, at the very center.”

“What signal?”

“Eyes on deck.”

“When?”

“You’ll see me. Don’t worry. And relax! Enjoy the show!” And he ended the call.

“Uh, that’s weird.” Raven quirked a brow.

“I hope there is no trouble.”

“He said not to worry. Maybe he’s helping Mr. Grayson out in his act?”

“Oh that would be wonderful! Robin is very good at the flipping!”

“Acrobatics,” Raven corrected.

Soon enough, the boys returned with arms full of all manner of popcorn, pretzels, hot dogs, soda, and cotton candy. “A hot dog and pretzel, for the ladies,” Beast Boy juggled over the two items, as well as two sodas.

“Where’s my cheese?” Raven asked.

“You didn’t say you wanted any.”

“My day is ruined,” she droned.

Then, the lights dimmed, and a drumroll silenced all chatter.

A spotlight illuminated a singular man in the center. The same portly, mustachioed man, wearing a red and gold suit with a top hat. “Ladies and gentlemen!” His voice carried throughout the tent. “Welcome to Haly’s Circus 3000! We would like to thank our generous benefactors for this special event, the Teen Titans!”

Another spotlight ignited on the group, unexpectedly, and they all smiled and waved awkwardly as the crowd applauded.

“Tonight, you will witness performances the likes you’ve never seen! Prepare for awe, laughter, shock, and drama! Please, enjoy the show!”

Sparklers ignited around the ring and the big band struck up a jaunty tune. From all the aisles came the performers. Clowns on stilts, women standing on horses, strong men carrying barrels, and even a bear on a unicycle.

Beast Boy shook Cyborg as he exploded with excitement.

A man in a burgundy suit came to the center ring, holding a whip in one hand, and a giant hoop in the other.

“Please direct your attention to the center ring, where you will see God’s mightiest creature come to heel. I present Marko, the Tiger Whisperer!”

The audience cheered as the Ringmaster left. The man called Marko raised the hoop, and snapped his whip.

From outside the tent came running a streak of black and orange. The tiger leapt into the ring, through the hoop, and skittered to a stop, like an overgrown puppy.

The tamer pet his nose and fed him a treat.

The audience and Titans watched with fascination as the tiger performed tricks that only extremely disciplined dogs could do. The act concluded with the tamer sticking his head in the tiger’s mouth.

Starfire stood up with the crowd to applaud.

Each act that followed was just as spectacular.

There was a juggler that juggled flaming batons and chainsaws. A set of clowns bonked each other on the head with progressively larger and larger cartoonish hammers, and of course, the bear on the unicycle returned.

“Does that give you fond memories, Cyborg?” Beast Boy joked.

“It gives me memories alright. Fond? Not so much.”

“That bear is very talented!” Starfire cooed.

“I’m surprised the unicycle hasn’t broken.”

“And now, ladies and gentlemen,” called the Ringmaster once more, as the lights swirled over the audience. “The moment you’ve been looking forward to all night. A once in a lifetime opportunity. The living legacy himself! Performing high-flying death-defying stunts, 60 feet in the air, without the safety of a net, The Last Flying Grayson!”

The spotlights turned and illuminated a young man, standing in the center ring. The haunting sound of an accordian playing a waltz filled the air.

“Wait, is that–?” Beast Boy squinted.

“It can’t be…” Cyborg gaped.

“But it must!” Starfire gleefully beamed.

“No. Way.”

The young man had black hair, styled into slicked back spikes. He wore a tight, sleeveless red tunic with yellow ties across the front. He had dark green tights, and a yellow sash instead of a utility belt.

He had a sad smile on his mask-less face, along with face paint to make it look like he had a single tear on his cheek.

He bowed low, his arms back behind him. Then he flung back and flipped, once, twice, three times and landed on his feet. A swing, made of silk rope, descended down to him. He wrapped one side around his arm, and took measured steps in time with the music, until he broke into a run, and then twisted. He spun rapidly, gliding over the ground, and gradually raised into the air. The higher he raised, the more his body contorted, until he looked like he was twisted into a pretzel. It was all effortless, as his facial expression never changed. Just kept that look of bittersweet happiness.

“How is he doing that?” Beast Boy asked as Robin held onto the loop with just one hand that reached between his legs while he did the splits.

“I knew he was flexible, but…whoa.”

A woman began to sing while he performed. A sad tune, haunting melody, and unknown words to everyone in the audience.

Everyone, except Starfire.

“Go, go child, go, you'll see, go.”

She knew these words were in a tongue that was not English, but she wasn’t sure how she knew them. Robin had been the only language assimilation she’d had since she’d been on Earth. But perhaps…

She learned it from him.

“Go and you'll see that a smile often hides a great sorrow. Go and you'll see the madness of mankind.”

As he contorted, Robin twisted the rope around himself, forming a cocoon, until he reached the very top. Then, he pulled a pin on one side and he fell, unraveling like a ball of yard.

He stopped about a foot from the bottom, posed with one leg up by his head.

The audience cheered and whistled, but the only one who stayed totally silent was Starfire. Not because she wasn’t enjoying the show, but because she was mesmerized by him.

“Madness of mankind without righteousness, go. Madness of warriors without fear, go.”

Robin wrapped back up in the silk rope and soared through the tent, waving at the crowd as he passed by.

The swing raised up further, and reached the height of a platform that was built into the main beams of the tent. Up here, there were several bars, some stationary, and some hanging on wires.

“Madness of a child full of life who, playing at paradise as a soldier, was killed.”

He simply turned and stepped onto the platform, and offered a little bow.

He raised his arms, took two steps, and leapt, gliding out to a bar on wires. He swung out, flying over the crowd effortlessly, before he flipped and grabbed the next bar with his legs. At the peak of his swing, he flipped off the bar, spun in a tight ball, and landed on a platform on the opposite side of the tent.

The crowd clapped.

Oh, but he wasn’t done. Of course not! He ran and leapt again, catching the bar as it swung back. He used the momentum to swing all the way around the bar several times, getting faster and faster before he let go and flung himself up high. There, he tucked into a ball and rotated twice and caught another bar. He swung on that quickly and shot up again. At the crest of his arc, he hugged his arms to his chest and twisted, turning sideways and upside down.

The audience watched as he came down, and reached for the next bar…

And missed.

“No!” Starfire was on her feet, ready to fly out and catch him, only to watch him fall about ten feet before he twisted again and caught a different bar with his legs.

The audience went wild.

Starfire nearly collapsed with relief.

“Where fortune walks, you can't reach there with the heart anymore.”

He swung backwards, before hooking his feet around the wires and contorting backwards to climb up to stand on the bar. Once it reached the peak swing, he dropped down to his hands and swung, using momentum to swing out far and fast. From here, he leapt onto a hanging hoop. He hooked one leg around the hoop and braced the other inside, then relaxed his torso and threw his hands out. He glided over the audience, nearly touching them. Then he passed the Titans and gave them all high fives with a big smile.

He winked at Starfire.

The hoop rapidly rose up high into the tent, as someone pulled it on the other end.

At the top of the tent, there was a thin wire from post to post, about a hundred feet long, and 70 feet up. The accordion and woman ended their song.

“And now, Ladies and Gentlemen, The Flying Grayson will become the Balancing Grayson, as he performs the tightrope walk!”

The crowd ‘oo’ed.

Robin withdrew his bow staff from his belt, extended it, and very carefully started walking across the tightrope.

The drums below rolled as he shuffled forward, a little more, a little more…

Suddenly, it looked like he lost his balance as he started swaying and trying to over correct. Then he jerked to one side and fell—

Only to once again catch himself, with one hand on the rope. He flipped back up easily, before stowing the staff again, then he gave an exaggerated shrug and flipped forward, walking the tightrope on his hands.

The crowd went ballistic.

After a few feet, he flipped again, placing one foot down, then the other, then turning and doing a backbend. Up on his hands, then his feet, then he did a front flip, a cartwheel; a full balance beam routine before reaching the other side.

He raised his hands to quiet the roaring crowds.

He took out his staff again, and ran out onto the tightrope. A little before the halfway point, he extended the staff and vaulted up to balance on top of it! He had one hand out, the rest of his body completely straight with his arm. Then, slowly, he transferred the connection point to his forehead.

“Dude…” Beast boy gaped.

Robin balanced on a tightrope, on his staff, on his forehead. The drums rolled.

He gave a little shake of his hands and the band played a cheerful ‘ta-da!’

His friends clapped and cheered, only to be drowned out by the uproar of the crowd.

Robin flipped backwards onto the rope, tucking his baton back into his sash. He watched the swinging bars below and timed it perfectly as he leapt, fell thirty feet, and grabbed the bar expertly.

He whirled through the air, catching bar after bar in more and more precarious ways, like while he was spinning in a somersault, or by just one hand. He even dangled by just one foot.

Starfire watched with awe as he performed, laughter and joy bubbling out of him each time he landed a trick.

It was a side of Robin she’d never seen before.

He was…beautiful.

Of course, she and many other ladies (and probably several men) thought that Robin was cute, handsome, and ‘oh em gee a total hottie’ but seeing him right now, in this environment…he was just beautiful.

Like a galaxy made of an ocean of stars and colors, he was beautiful like a force of nature. His thin frame was deceitful to the strength he held. His ropey muscles had mostly been hidden under loose sleeves and gloves. But Starfire could see them plainly now, and hard at work, twisting under his skin with each aerial feat. The contours of his body were distinct with the skin tight costume. The peak of the human form, a rib cage, surrounded by bands of muscle, a chest with a rapidly beating heart. Even his fingers held incredible strength, as he dangled carelessly from just the tips.

A force of nature. A human in the most definite form.

Utterly mesmerizing.

Robin arched his back, hanging from his ankles with his arms far behind him. He swung his arms, pumping his body to climb higher and higher. He let go, somersaulting in the air, once, twice–five times, before landing on the tips of his toes on a platform. His silk rope dangled off to the side, and he used it to climb all the way back to the top, where the tightrope was.

Once up there, he looked down, right to her. He pointed two fingers at his eyes, then to her.

Eyes on deck.

The signal.

Starfire floated out of her seat, up about ten feet, to provide plenty of clearance for what he had in mind.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” he spoke into a mic way up there. “Thank you so much for coming out tonight for my special performance. And to the Teen Titans, thank you for making this event even more special. I knew I had to design my costume after Robin when I heard you guys were going to be here.”

He was such a liar.

“For my final trick, I will need the assistance of a beautiful young woman from the audience.” He pretended to glance around for only a second before exclaiming, “oh Starfire of the Teen Titans! Thank you for volunteering! Give her a hand folks!”

There was an applause, along with laughter, as this had obviously been planned. Starfire giggled as Cyborg shouted, “yeah that’s our girl!”

Robin crawled out on the tightrope, pinwheeling one leg around his body, and then the other. When he reached the middle of the rope, he held his arms out to the side.

A drum roll went up.

He dropped, catching himself with his fingers, and began to swing faster and faster until he was rocketing around the wire, gaining speed.

Then he let go and soared.

Arms out wide like wings, he whooped as he flew.

Then he started to fall, but he had no fear. He was falling right towards her, and she’d catch him.

Starfire floated a couple extra feet, eager to make contact with her friend. She caught him with her hands coming to rest on his ribcage, while he took hold of her shoulders.

“Hi Star,” he beamed, piercing her soul with those vibrant blue eyes.

“Hello,” she smiled back, her heart in her throat. Then she twisted, never letting gravity have a turn with him in this dance. She spun, her grip dragging down to his arms.

Once, twice, three times she spun him, before she let him go. Letting go this time was so different from everytime they performed this maneuver on the field. She wasn’t flinging him into an attack. There was no enemy waiting.

She was throwing him into the end of his act. The end of this beautiful, sacred moment.

Robin twisted in the air and grabbed his staff from his sash. He extended it and dug it into the center of the ring, slowing his descent. He spun around it, his limbs just gliding across the surface as he slowed more and more.

He ended with one leg wrapped around the staff, while the other kicked out. He leaned back and threw his arms out and laughed.

It was like he was mocking the crowd. I flew, his laughter said, I got to fly and you didn’t.

“Ladies and gentlemen! The Last Flying Grayson!”

Robin got to his feet as the crowd stood, screaming and cheering. He bowed once again, and then departed out of the ring, choosing to cartwheel and backflip out.

Starfire was stuck floating in the air, tears streaming down her face, as a bittersweet smile came over her face.

“You coming down?” Cyborg asked.

She nodded awkwardly and sank back into her seat.

“You okay?” Raven asked, offering the edge of her cape to wipe her tears.

“I am only sad it is over,” she lamented.

“No worries!” Cyborg chirped. “I recorded the whole thing!” He tapped his head. “You can watch it over again whenever you want!”

“Oh glorious!” She clapped her hands together, feeling slightly better.

Of course, watching a video would never be the same as watching it in person, but it would have to be enough.

“You guys enjoying the show?” A voice asked from behind them.

They turned in shock as Robin, back in his normal costume and mask appeared behind them. He crouched and stole a handful of Beast Boy’s popcorn.

“That Richard Grayson is something else! Did you see that tightrope act? I wonder how long it took him to perfect that!”

Starfire grabbed him by the front of the shirt and pulled him into a hug. “It was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen!”

Robin blushed, as she had basically pulled him into her lap, but he hugged her back, nonetheless.

“I wouldn’t say it like that,” said Beast Boy, “but it was certainly the craziest thing I’ve ever seen!”

“I knew you had some skill, but I get so focused on the martial arts part, I don’t even think about your acrobatics!” Said Cyborg.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Raven asked, not accusatory, just curious.

“Uh…” he pulled at his collar. “It’s like…really hard for me to talk about. I figured just showing you would be easier.” He adjusted his grip on Starfire, resigned to the fact he was sitting in her lap. He couldn’t get out of the hug if he tried. “It’s…it’s been 10 years. 10 years ago today that they…my parents…” He swallowed harshly. “Haly knew. He knew I would spend the day crying and in self loathing. It still hurts, and it might never stop, but by being able to do this…it was kinda like…being with them again.”

Starfire hugged him tighter, burying her face in his shoulder.

“You seemed to have fun. Are you gonna do it again someday?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. Probably not.”

Eventually, Starfire let him go so that he could sit next to her instead. She still held his arm, too emotional to let him go completely, and honestly, he didn’t mind so much.

They all watched the end of the show together, a rancorous applause as almost all the performers came out and took their bows.

Then, the lights came up, and everyone was free to go.

Robin released a little sigh. It was hard, but it had been worth it. He felt happier and more content than he expected he’d feel today.

“So,” Raven began. “Are you going to introduce us to your friends, or what?”

“Oh yes! I should very much like to meet your elephant!”

Robin smiled. “Whatever you guys want.”

—

They waited for the crowds to thin before Robin led them to another tent. Here, all manner of performers lounged about, some still in costumes and makeup. When the Titans entered, attention swiveled to them.

“Dickie Bird!”

Then there was an onslaught of ‘way to go’s and ‘atta boy’s, accompanied with affectionate head rubs and back pats. Robin took it all in stride, vainly fixing his hair afterwards. “Uh…thanks guys. It means a lot. Um, these are my friends, The Teen Titans. Cyborg, Beast Boy, Raven, and Starfire.”

“It is good to meet you all in person,” Mr. Haly himself said, shaking their hands. “Tonight was a smashing success. Thank you for all your help.”

“Uh, gotta be honest man, we just showed up tonight. Robin took care of everything. If anything, we should be thanking you guys for the amazing show!”

“Nevertheless, attaching your name to the show really brought the crowds in! We’re back, baby!”

Robin smiled, thrilled to see Haly’s Circus thriving.

“So,” Beast Boy began, talking quietly to Robin, but everyone heard him. “Everyone here knows who you are, huh?”

Robin blushed, embarrassed. “Yep.”

“You think a little piece of fabric would keep us from recognizing ol’ Dickie Bird?” A man with smudged paint on his face asked. “Even if you did grow a bit.” He nudged Robin.

A strong man spoke up, with a heavy Russian accent. “Your friends, they do not know how you got the name Robin?”

“Hey yeah!” Cyborg said, vexed. “How come we don’t know? Does anyone know?”

Robin rubbed the back of his head. “It’s…kind of embarrassing.”

“Please share!” Starfire asked, linking her fingers around his arm.

Robin sighed. “So…I was born on the first day of spring, so my mom always called me her little Robin.”

“Aww,” said Beast Boy. “That’s sweet!”

Robin continued. “She said it so often, it became kind of like a stage name, though never officially since I only performed with my parents. But we did talk about me having a solo act as I got older, under the name ‘Robin, the Boy Wonder’. When I joined Batman, I was 8 and didn’t know any better and used the same name.” He gave a little shrug. “I don’t even think Batman knows.”

“Oh, he knows,” said Haly with a laugh. “Shortly after your debut, he sent me a strongly worded email telling me not to tell anyone or there would be consequences.”

Robin rolled his eyes. “Did you respond to that nonsense?”

“You know, I did? I told him you were our boy and that we wouldn’t do anything to put you into harm’s way…which is why we let that playboy billionaire adopt you, despite the fact he clearly didn’t know how to raise a kid. Anyways, I asked Batman if he was in the habit of sending kids to fight on the street. And you know what he told me? He said that you went after Anthony Zucco yourself, at 8 years old. He found you out there and you told him you weren’t going to stop looking for Zucco until he was dead or behind bars.”

“Toughest eight year old I ever heard of,” Raven said, actually sounding impressed.

“So, I let it go. But, we've been keeping an ear out for you.”

Robin wasn’t all that surprised that Batman had basically threatened his extended family, but he was proud that Haly didn’t put up with his bullshit.

It also sounded like they didn’t know that Bruce Wayne was Batman. So that was a relief.

“It was Donna’s idea to reach out to you,” Haly continued. “I didn’t know if it was a good idea, but you don’t know until you take a chance, right?”

The woman that had taken the tickets came up to him and put an arm around his shoulder. “We still love you, Dickie Bird, and I knew we had to take that chance to see you.”

“Dickie Bird?” Beast Boy asked Cyborg, in a hush.

Another man started whistling a happy tune, before a few others joined in singing, “a Dickie Bird whispered ‘haven’t you heard? Spring is here, spring is here, spring is here’.”

Then Robin finished, “And you and I fell in love in reply on hearing the Dickie bird’s news.” His smile was tight. “I…had forgotten they sang that. But I guess I never forgot the song.”

Donna gave him a loving pinch to his cheek. “Now Dick, there’s something we wanted to give you. We found this in the archives, and we thought you would want it.” She retrieved a tube from a table, and two of the strong men opened it up and unraveled the large poster inside.

The Flying Graysons

New Addition

Dick, Our Boy Wonder

It was the poster from his debut show, three years before the accident.

“Is that you?” Starfire asked, nearly cooing. “You were so small.”

“Still is,” Cyborg grinned.

“Yeah,” Robin breathed. “Thanks Donna. It means a lot.”

“Of course, baby. Now, we’re gonna put the poster from tonight in there too, so you can have both, okay?”

Robin just nodded.

Starfire could see this was hard for him, and just laid a hand on his shoulder.

“Why don’t you go say hello to Zitka?” Donna urged. “I’m sure she missed you.”

“Will she remember you?” Cyborg asked.

Robin chuckled, “well, they say an elephant never forgets.”

—-

When they returned to the tower, Robin shut Richard Grayson away in the closet, where he belonged, along with both posters. Just a skeleton of his past life. He was Robin now, all the time. 24/7.

Whenever Starfire tried to talk about it, he deflected the topic. Not harshly or cruelly, he just decided not to answer her directly.

It broke her heart.

About a week later, she sat on the rooftop, looking at the moon, that haunting accordion tune playing in her mind, the silhouette of her friend against the curtain was just a shadow on the surface.

“Hey…you okay?” Robin’s voice asked from the door. “You were pretty quiet today.”

She wasn’t sure if she could handle a conversation with him right now. All she wanted was to talk about his performance. She had questions and observations, and she just wanted to share it all with him. She couldn’t bear hearing him shut it all down again.

“You know you can talk to me,” he said softly, resting a hand on her shoulder.

“Can I?” She asked just as softly.

“Of course.”

“It is…about the circus.”

He frowned.

She prepared herself for the wall that was about to drop.

Instead, he took a seat beside her, legs crossed in front of him. “I’m sorry. You’ve been trying to talk about it all week and…like I said, it’s really hard for me to talk about.”

“I understand. I have things in my life that are equally difficult to share.” She reached out and touched the side of his face, where the painted tear had been. “I just…admired your performance so much. You were most joyous. I have seen you happy, but never like that. I would like to share that experience with you again. Perhaps then maybe one day, it will not be so hard to talk about?”

Robin was quiet for a long time, considering it. Then he offered a small smile. “I’ll think about it.”

She returned the smile. “That’s all I ask.”

—

Another week passed. Robin seemed to clam right back up.

Starfire was resigned to the fact that that one night at the circus was all anyone was ever going to see. And she had to be fine with it. So what if he was her best friend? It was his tragedy, and only he could decide who he’d share it with.

But then, late one night, there was a knock at her bedroom door.

“Hello?” She asked, as she answered.

There was no one there, but there was a package at her feet. A brown paper wrapped parcel, with a note on it.

‘Starfire,

Please put this on and meet me in the training room.

-Love, Robin’

Curious, she ripped the paper off, only to find a purple piece of cloth, nearly the same color as her uniform. She unraveled it, surprised to find a suit made of stretchy material. It was purple but had silvery accents and glittery beads all over the front.

It was so pretty! She held it up and did a little twirl, then rushed to put it on.

It wasn’t a completely perfect fit, but it was comfortable and not too tight. She zipped through the tower in haste to get to the training room.

Richard Grayson was there, dangling from his ankle from a bar hanging from the ceiling. He looked at her as she entered.

“Oh wow!” He chirped, flipping off to land on his feet. “That turned out great! I wasn’t sure if it would fit, because I measured a spare uniform that obviously doesn’t have all the measurements—”

“You made this?”

“...yeah? I made all my uniforms. Always have.”

“There is so much I do not know about you, Richard Grayson,” she smirked, coming closer.

He blushed, but smiled at her. “It’s so weird hearing you say that name.”

“Why do you look at me in such a way?” She asked, tilting her head.

“What way? I’m just…looking at you. I mean, you’re pleasant to look at, but if I’m staring I’m not meaning to!” Shutupshutupshutupshutup!

“You mean to say this is how you look at me when your mask is on as well?”

“Yes?” Was that a good thing? Or was he in trouble now? Did he hurt her feelings? Was he leering? Glaring?

A pretty blush dusted her cheeks as her smile deepened, though it looked like she was trying not to show it.

He cleared his throat. “Um…would you like to…learn some moves?”

Her eyes glistened. When she asked if he would share with her, she had expected him to just talk, not this! “Yes please!”

“Alright.” He ran and leapt, grabbing hold of the bar, then he contorted so he could hang upside down, his feet hooked around the wires. “Okay, come here and hold my arms, facing the same direction as me.”

She gleefully did, having to hover a little to reach.

“Okay, you’re going to push off that box to get us swinging.”

She did, and thrust her legs to pick up momentum.

“Good! Now just do it in time with me so we pick up maximum height.”

“Can I not just fly us up?”

“You could, but where’s the fun in that?”

She giggled. “You always have a certain way to do things.”

“That I do!”

They swung together, making the bar go farther and farther out.

“Okay, now I want you to kick up and try to hook your feet with my calves. Don’t worry if it takes a couple of times.”

Using her super strength, she easily flipped up and hooked her legs with his. She was going to tease him about how good she already was, until she realized the extremely intimate position this put them in. They were completely pressed together, and she saw straight into his blue eyes. “Oh,” she whispered.

“What?” He smirked.

“We are close.”

“Yep. That’s part of the experience. Now, put your arms around my neck.”

She did so, amazed that they could get any closer.

He had kept the swing moving despite being nervous about having Starfire so close, and effortlessly, he flipped them right side up so he was sitting on the bar and she was in his lap. “Ta-da!”

She couldn’t help but giggle again.

“Hey Star?”

“Yes Robin?”

“Thank you.”

“I should be the one thanking you. This is very sweet. What made you finally share?”

He kicked his legs so they stayed gliding through the air. “For the longest time, Trapeze represented falling instead of flying like it should. I figured…if anyone would understand flying, it would be you. So…” He avoided eye contact, feeling awkward. That was the dumb answer.

“That I do,” she grinned softly, tenderly. Her heart was full, she thought she might just burst. “What next?”

“Grab hold of the wires, then put your feet on the bar, right here.” He patted the space next to his hips.

She stood, sort of, and made a ‘v’ with her body.

“I’ll lean back, and you stand up straight. 1…2…3!”

Starfire readjusted her grip on the wires and stood, looking down. She watched as Robin fell backwards, and then disappeared. “What…?”

The weight on the bar shifted, and suddenly he was behind her, arms around her waist, and chin on her shoulder.

“How did you do that?”

“Trade secret,” he chuckled. “Now, when I tell you to, I want you to let go and bring your knees up.”

“But I am holding the wire, and you are holding me. If I let go…”

“Trust me Star,” he said earnestly. “You’ll love this.”

“Alright. I am ready when you are.”

He tightened his hold on her waist. “And…go!”

Starfire let go of the wire, tucked her knees, and instinctually clenched her eyes shut. She let out a loud ‘EEP!’ as she felt them fall backwards together. Then she flipped all the way around, before they came to a swinging stop. She peeled her eyes open to find herself parallel with the ground, being held by the hips.

She craned her neck to look at Robin, who was hanging by his knees. “Ta-da!” He chuckled. “It’s probably not all that exciting since you can fly on your own.”

She laughed and placed her arms out in front of her, like she did when she flew. “Contrariwise, it is very exciting! I am not prepared for what you are going to do. I am not in control.”

“So this is a good trust exercise then!”

“You have my trust, Robin,” she said so sincerely, so confidently, it brought a pang to his heart. He trusted her too. With his life, with his past, with his heart—

Starfire noticed he was using her like a pendulum to gain height again. So, she flew, just a little, just to get the bar moving.

“Ready Star?” He called down.

“What is happening?!”

“Here we go!”

Starfire let out a shriek this time as he yanked her upwards and let go, only to grab her a second later and hug her to himself. She fell to sit sideways in his lap as he sat on the bar.

“Did I scare you?”

“Only for a moment!” She giggled, the joy in her soul bubbling over. She wrapped her arms around his neck for a better hold.

Robin lazily kicked his foot to keep them moving, but otherwise just enjoyed having her close. What a thought. They weren’t even talking.

He shook his head, a little embarrassed by himself.

“What is it?” She asked sweetly.

“Nothing, just thought of something ironic.”

“Would you please share your ironic thought?”

He held his breath.

Well.

He was Richard Grayson right now. No mask, no polymerized titanium cape, and Starfire was sitting on his lap.

Couldn’t really get more vulnerable than that, right?

He exhaled. “I was just thinking…I lost the two people I loved the most to a fall. But I don’t have to worry about losing the girl I love, because she can fly.” He offered a small smile.

“Me?” Her eyes brightened.

He just nodded.

“Robin, you truly love me?”

“Yeah,” he whispered.

She touched his face, gently drifting her thumb over his cheek. “The feeling is mutual.”

His shoulders sagged in relief, and his smile grew.

“Shall we initiate lip contact?”

He barked a laugh, not because it was funny, but because it was so Starfire that it brought him immense joy. Instead of answering, he just leaned in and pressed his lips to hers.

Starfire smiled into the kiss and hugged him tighter. Thankfully not too tight, as she had a tendency to get carried away with these things.

As they pulled away, they stayed close, just savoring the moment.

As Robin was in what was probably the happiest moment of his young life, it all shattered in front of his face. Like a bucket of ice water, the sound of three people clapping slapped against his face.

Well, a cyborg, changeling, and an empath.

Robin whipped his head around to stare at the intruders.

“Bravo! Encore!”

“Bravissimo!”

“Yay.”

“How…long…have you guys been there?”

“Dude, like, the whole time. When I saw Starfire dressed like a purple disco ball, I knew something like this was going down.”

“The pageantry! The drama! The action! The romance! Best show I’ve seen all week,” Cyborg smirked.

“Congrats on the kissing,” said Raven, who seemed genuinely happy for them in her own way.

Robin sighed. He should have known better.

“So are you going to teach us how to acrobat?” Asked Beast Boy.

“Do we have to sit on your lap too?” Asked Cyborg, wiggling his eyebrows.

“As long as I get a sparkly leotard, I’ll be happy,” Raven made a rare joke.

Robin was far too embarrassed to retort to any of that, so he just hid his face in Starfire’s shoulder.

“Dudes! We can start our own circus! We have a full set! And we could all learn Trapeze from Robin and do a whole show! We can call it, ‘The Teen Swingers Club’.”

Cyborg and Robin burst out laughing while Raven desperately tried not to.

“What? What’s so funny?”

“Yes, I do not understand the joke either.”

Robin whispered the meaning to her quietly before she also burst out laughing.

“Aw man. I hate it when my best jokes are accidents.”

“The best things that happen to you are accidents,” Raven quipped. “You probably were an accident.”

“Hey!” He barked, offended.

Starfire giggled and rested her head on Robin’s chest. “Do not be embarrassed, Robin. For I could not hide what happened from our friends, and this way we do not have to tell them.”

He sighed. He supposed that was a bonus.

Besides, he had started this trend of showing vulnerability instead of talking about his feelings. Why stop now?

“Hang on,” Robin told Starfire.

She gleefully squeezed tighter as he fell backwards, and the rest of the Titans cheered.

—

The next day, both posters were hanging proudly in the training room, right by the acrobatics equipment.

#fanfiction #robin #starfire #robstar #teen titans #tt animated #dick grayson #koriand'r

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cleolinda · 6 months

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Weekend links, April 7, 2024

My posts

This week feels like it has been a hundred years long (not in a bad way).

Somehow we joined together to balance the seesaw just right so Ava Gardner and Jean Seberg could both go through in the Hot Vintage Lady polls (percentages rounded). Like, I’m wearing the Ava jersey and even I encouraged people to vote Jean when necessary. Honestly, I just wanted to see if it could be done. And it COULD.

Round three has begun. It is already horrific. This is the first round that’s really going to hurt because we spent the last one really getting down in the dirt and championing our ladies, or learning about actresses we’d never heard of before and getting attached to them. And now? We are reminded: memento mori. Everyone loses but one.

(I personally pitched in for Sara Montiel. “BUT JUST LOOK AT--” Yeah, I did, thanks.)

Reblogs of interest

April Fool’s Day: You were here for the Boopening, yes? The whole thing was that you only got badges for giving boops, not receiving them, which is a great way to not reward popularity contests, but also means that every last one of us was out here trying to figure out who to bap with a cat’s paw 1000 times. I said, listen, my notifications are already trash garbage today. I’ll take the bullet. Boop at will.

The Activity graph isn’t too clear on this point, but it looks like I had something like 65,000--hits? engagements? boops?--that day. Listen, I got the black paw badge too. We all did what we had to do in the Boopening.

A Shakespearean boop of goodly length: “And, Meowntague, come you this afternoon, to know our further pleasure in this case, to old Food-bowl, our common judgment-place.”

I had to go lie down awhile after a pun like “The Purrge.”

I had just gotten up from that pun and then I had to go lie down again.

Account security gothic

The Canada griffin

Dinotopia nostalgia

Two pairs of spectacles, one made from slices of emerald, and the other from slices of diamond

An old favorite: Cerberus as a puppy, guarding the gates to heck

I feel like these two posts have the same energy: Time cops will not let you travel back to the Titanic and bloodthirsty gazebos are currently in a dormancy period.

The birds are still troubled

PSA: The best sunscreens for your face

Video

A collection of various American Indian/indigenous American languages, including Navajo, Tlingit, Lakota, Colville Okanagan Salish, Cherokee, Yucatec Maya, Greenlandic, Mohawk, Yup'ik, and Mi'kmawi'simk.

A trans health-and-wellness fundraiser (Mercury Stardust, Point of Pride, and friends) kept getting banned off Tiktok due to assholes. Here’s how to donate; I saw a few “here’s how they helped me” notes, so it seems like these programs are both legit and effective.

You think you’re going to sit staring at this video because Chocolate Guy is weaving chocolate. Then you get into it, and it just keeps going.

“Too Sweet” is doing hilariously well on the charts for a song that didn’t even make the album proper. Hozier’s bees would like to thank you for your support.

I know I said that Stevie Nicks would make you sing backup on your own haunting, but late in this 1997 live performance of “Silver Springs,” she makes Lindsey Buckingham, the man she wrote this song about, look her in the eye while she belts it at him. This specific performance was released as a single (I was there, Gandalf) and nominated for a Grammy. Watch the video and you will see why.

The Women Those ‘Evolution Of Beauty’ Videos Leave Out

I don’t really know how to describe this rubberhose-style cartoon of Cab Calloway as a singing nightmare clown. Betty Boop is also there. “You just described it!” No, I really didn’t.

How movable type worked 1000 years ago, from scratch.

Unrestrained seasonal yak fun

A snowy raven photoshoot

The sacred texts

I don’t know how to explain this double Sacred Text about ominous dreams that comes with its own comic, except to say that they’re so iconic that I first saw both posts in lo-res Pinterest screencaps.

April Fool’s: The ultimate sacred text.

Personal tag of the week

Wet beast Wednesday, which had both a headshake stickflip and bears on a swan boat.

#weekend links #odds and ends #linkspam

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thevictorianghost · 4 months

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Okay Zutara Fandom, I need your help

So it’s been a while since I’ve written Zutara fic, and since I’ve watched Stardust (2007) this weekend, I want to make a Zutara AU for this amazing movie!!

If you’ve never seen it (go watch it!), it’s about a young man named Tristan who decides that, to win the heart of the prettiest lady in his village, he must go and find a shooting star that fell on the other side of a magical wall, only to find out that the star is, in fact, a young woman named Yvaine, who is being hunted by both evil witches and murderous princes.

Now, my question for the Zutara fandom is: who should be Tristan and and who should be Yvaine? Because I know it would seem like a no-brainer that Zuko is Tristan and Katara is Yvaine, but I am also torn with the idea to make Katara Tristan and Zuko Yvaine (like my Zutara Titanic AU, where Zuko was Rose and Katara was Jack).

If I were to have Zuko be Tristan, the characters would be like this:

Tristan: Zuko

Dunstan: Uncle Iroh (or Noren, from the comics?)

Old Man at the Wall: Bumi

Yvaine: Katara

Victoria: Mai

Victoria’s friends: Azula and Ty Lee

Humphrey: Chan (The Beach episode guy) or maybe Jet?

The witches: Hama, Lo and Li

The princes: 7 OCs

The King: Ozai (or Azulon?)

Sal: Joo Dee

Una: Ursa

Captain Shakespeare: Aang (or Uncle Iroh? Depends on who I pick for Dunstan)

Pirate crew: Sokka, Suki, Toph, Appa, Momo

Star who talks to Tristan: Yue

But if it were to be Katara as Tristan, then the cast of characters would be like this:

Tristan: Katara

Dunstan: Hakoda

Old Man at the Wall: Bumi

Yvaine: Zuko

Victoria: Jet

Victoria’s friends: Smellerbee, Longshot, Pipsqueak

Humphrey: Jin? Or Song??

The witches: Azula, Mai, Ty Lee

The princes: 7 OCs

The King: Chief Arnook

Sal: Hama

Una: Kya

Captain Shakespeare: Uncle Iroh

Pirate crew: Zuko’s crew + the Gaang

Star who talks to Tristan: Yue

I can’t decide which one to choose!! Can anyone help me, please? Thank you!!

(I’ll also tag a few people who could help, and if I forgot to tag you, I’m very sorry!!)

@cynical-mystic @sunnylune @juldooz @burst-of-iridescent @darkcrowprincess

Also, as you can see, I’m mostly brainstorming here, lol. But it sounds like a cute idea!!

#zutara #zutara fandom #zutara au #stardust #fanfiction #fic #help lol

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fuckyeah-jessicabiel · 1 year

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GQ Magazine - July 2007

The Summer of Jessica Biel

To celebrate Biel’s being in a movie actually worth seeing, we sent Adam Stein to play carnival games with her.

When I told various friends I’d be interviewing Jessica Biel, I got the responses you’d expect—jealousy, mild rage, a plea to give her a phone number because she’s the one person that a friend’s wife would give him a free pass to sleep with. The uncanny thing is, when I asked these guys what they thought of her as an actress, most of them drew a blank. They hadn’t seen a single motion picture of hers. Okay, one or two had girlfriends who’d brought them to see The Illusionist, but otherwise, nada. As my friend Taj put it: “I’m obsessed with a girl I’ve never seen move.“

Well, that’s about to change. Later this month, men across America will see Jessica being very good in a very funny movie, and the nature of their love for her will…deepen. She’ll still be inhumanly beautiful, sure, but now they’ll have to contend with genuine talent, too, and that one-two punch can be disorienting. You know what else can? The fact that despite her recent tabloid exposure, she’s actually sweet, funny, earnest, occasionally a little crude, and—if my time playing carnival games with her can be used as evidence—uniquely driven to conquer whatever stands between Jessica Biel and what she wants.

I am waiting for her at the Santa Monica Pier, sitting on a stool next to one of those games where you shoot water from a gun into a clown’s mouth. I haven’t shaved for a week, because I read somewhere that Jessica Biel likes guys with beards. I’m inspecting mine in the reflective back of my iPod when a nice-looking young woman materializes in my view. “Excuse me,“ she says. “Are you Adam?“ “Jessica?“ I ask, ridiculously. Of course it’s her, in wraparound sunglasses, an open gray sweater over a white blouse, and faded jeans. She wears checkered Vans, like Jeff Spicoli. On the pier, no one recognizes her, which I suppose makes sense: There’s little resemblance between the pinup girl and the sneaker-wearing civilian out on a Monday afternoon. She doesn’t stick out as we walk the wooden planks of the amusement park; she blends in. She is, you might say, a very chill girl.

“Can we get a photo next to a star?“ she asks, stopping in front of a booth hawking photographs with huge cardboard cutouts of celebrities. It’s an impressive, eclectic array: Bill Clinton, Mini Me, Michael Jordan, Hilary Duff, Enrique Iglesias(!), Jean-Claude Van Damme, DiCaprio in Titanic. “They’re all kind of old,“ she says. I don’t know if she means the cutouts or the celebrities themselves (because to me, Mini Me will never age). She’s only 25 years old, so it could go either way. I ask her who she’d most want to pose with. She scrutinizes the assembly and makes her call: “I’d probably pick Van Damme, cause he looks the coolest.“ She takes the Muscles from Brussels over Leo—a victory of might over sensitivity. Nice.

Then she decides it’s time for the games to begin. She passes up the Riptide Ring Toss (“That one is impossible,“ she says) and focuses her attention on the Pier Plank Plunge. The PPP is basically a rope ladder suspended horizontally over an inflatable mattress. The trick is to climb, perfectly balanced, to a taunting red button placed approximately ten feet away. Press the button, win the prize—an enormous Sonic the Hedgehog. I ask her if she’s ever Pier Plank Plunged before. “Yes,“ she says, assessing the structure, looking for its weaknesses. “But I’ve never been able to achieve it.“ She begins barraging the bored-looking carny with questions. “Do you have any tips?“ (It’s all about balance.) “Have you done it before?“ (Nope.) “Has anyone ever won?“ (Yeah.) “Has anyone won today?“ (Not yet.) She turns to me, and I have to say she seems genuinely excited. “This is our chance,“ she says. “It’s our chance to win.“ I’m beginning to get the distinct impression that winning is important to Jessica Biel. “Ladies first“ being the imperative, I take the initial go-round. It’s harder than it looks. My arms shake. Everything shakes. I can feel her hopefulness—Do it, get there—but I fall off within seconds. The shame is truly surprising. I wanted to do it for Jessica and failed. She throws me a “good try“ before stepping up herself.

Jessica was a gymnast when she was younger, and the training appears to be paying off as she mounts the unstable rope ladder. (It also occurs to me that the view I currently have is one the paparazzi would kill for.) She deploys a disciplined crawl, gets tantalizingly close to the red button, reaches for it—and loses her balance, flips over, and lands flat on the cushion, laughing. “Holy shit,“ she yells. “It’s so hard. That’s so frustrating.“ The carny asks if we’d like to try again. She pauses for a moment, looking at the button, and then, with obvious reservations, demurs. “You were really, really close,“ I tell her. “I know,“ she says, still staring at it, reluctant to move, apparently, without conquering the damn thing. “That’s how it gets you.“

Next up is something called the Hi-Striker, a game in which you swing a mallet to test your strength. I take three feeble swings, each one less successful than the last. A huge Hispanic man laughs every time I bring the mallet down on the metal block, and when I exit the cage and hand it off to the female attendant, she takes one exhibition swing and makes my emasculation complete. Up goes the projectile. Ping goes the bell.

J.B. watches, rapt. “Look at her awesome stance,“ she whispers, absorbing the details, memorizing the motion. Some actors “find“ their characters via a process of internalization—investigating emotions, plumbing psychology, creating an “inner life.“ This is known as the inside-out approach. Other actors work outside-in—developing a walk, a gesture, a physicality. Look at, say, Hilary Swank in Million Dollar Baby. Look at Jessica Biel in the Hi-Striker cage.

Mimicking the attendant’s, her first swing easily skunks my best effort. And she improves with each attempt. She’s getting into character. As she exits the cage, there’s a look of satisfaction on her face. She returns the mallet to the attendant, who looks at me and says: “She did better than you.“ As we leave, I ask her: “Is it more technique than strength?“ She shakes her head. “Brute strength,“ she says. “You just throw it up and slam it as hard as you can.“ On our way off the pier, we pass Zoltar, the animatronic fortune-teller who turned that kid into Tom Hanks in Big. Zoltar senses us and speaks: “Destiny is not a matter of chance; it is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for; it is a thing to be achieved.“ Zoltar makes Jessica smile. She digs his philosophy.

Jessica Biel’s destiny, at least of late, has led her to a prominent place in the trashy supermarket gossip rags. First it was snapshots of social excursions with second-banana studs (Chris Evans, Ryan Reynolds). Then, upping the ante, there was a beach fling with a sports icon (Derek Jeter). And then, in February, she grabbed the tabloid brass ring for reportedly nabbing the world’s most eligible bachelor, Justin Timberlake. Unsurprisingly, it’s not something she’ll discuss.

One thing she is happy talking about, though, is the unladylike girth of her knuckles. We’re getting dinner at an unassuming Italian trattoria across the street from the pier when she flashes those meaty joints and describes her nascent production company. “It was almost called Fat Knuckle Films. Because I have fat knuckles. See?“ she asks. “They don’t really look that way until you start putting rings on them, and then it stops right there.“

I have to say, Jessica Biel’s chunky midfingers are endearing, human, attainable—a word she uses a number of times in our conversation, as if to remind the world that she’s just a regular girl from Boulder, Colorado, who happens to have been called, by Esquire magazine in 2005, the Sexiest Woman Alive.

“At first I felt really embarrassed about it,“ she says. “You know, it’s a weird thing to talk about. Like, Hey, guys. Guess what?’ You don’t just go telling everybody that.“ She shifts her weight forward and goes on: “But after I got over that, I just started to embrace it. I started thinking, If I ever do have kids, and if they have kids, I can tell them: You know what? Your grandma in 2000-and-whatever was the Sexiest Woman Alive. How about that, kids?’ That’s what I started to think about. I’ll always have that picture to say, That’s what Granny used to look like.’ “

Before coming out here to get my ass handed to me at the Hi-Striker, I immersed myself in Jessica Biel’s Collected Works. She got her start in the mid-’90s on 7th Heaven, the WB dramedy that made a splash with the moral-values set, before leaving around 2002 for bigger (and badder) things. It’s been a grim scene ever since: Summer Catch (2001), which starred Freddie Prinze Jr. and stands at number forty-nine on Rotten Tomatoes’ 100 Worst- Reviewed Films of All Time. The Rules of Attraction (2002), notable only for Fred Savage shooting heroin between his toes and saying things like “I can feel my dick.“ (Remarkably, Biel comes across as fresh and charming, despite the astonishing pointlessness and nihilism of the flick.) The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003), which was Biel’s first top billing and is her biggest box-office performer to date, with a take of about $80 million. J.B. screams her head off throughout the movie and is entirely believable in distress, but you can’t help thinking as you watch her, There’s got to be better material than this. Sadly, no. There was an atrocity called Cellular, in 2004, and Blade: Trinity that same year (in which Biel kicks much undead ass as a midriff-baring vampire hunter). But the nadir has to be London, in ’06, a delusional piece of trash that starts off with a sex scene, Biel on top, saying, “Are you coming? Are you coming?“ before she proceeds to another not-quite-dignified act and then dips out of the frame to, presumably, swallow. Like I said, a grim scene.

And then, just in the nick of time, salvation arrived. A script called The Illusionist, to star Edward Norton and Paul Giamatti. There was a problem, though. The filmmakers didn’t want to give Biel an audition. They weren’t convinced the vampire-hunting Hollywood creation could rearrange herself into the role of a refined fin de siècle Hungarian duchess.

But Jessica Biel has a hard time taking no for an answer. And when another actress “dropped out“ of the film, her tenacity paid off. They finally brought her in. She arrived wearing a full period costume. She made them take her seriously, she says, and three days later, an offer arrived.

The Illusionist wasn’t what you’d call a “hit,“ but it got good reviews, made decent money, and changed the industry’s perception of her. Doors that were closed began to open. They just weren’t opening fast enough for her taste.

She sets down her after-dinner tea and says, “I want choices. I want options. I want to lay out all the directions I could go and have the ability to choose. I’m slowly starting to have that now.“ It’s the “slowly“ that kills her.

One film that will almost surely expedite the process is I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, which will be released this month. It stars Adam Sandler and Kevin James as two Brooklyn firefighters who pretend to be a gay couple in order to receive domestic-partner benefits. J.B. plays the female lead, their hoodwinked attorney who falls for Sandler by the end of the picture.

Chuck and Larry is Jessica’s first real shot at popular, mainstream film success. Unlike her previous big-budget endeavors, it doesn’t rely on CGI or fetishistic weaponry to make its points. It is also—apologies to Freddie Prinze Jr. —her first comedy.

“It was a little bit intimidating,“ she says. “I really admire Adam and Kevin, but then, I didn’t try to equal them or one-up them, and the character I created didn’t have to be that. She’s the straight woman, but very fun and very cool and just—attainable. That’s the kind of part that I’d like to play more. I mean, a vampire hunter? Is that really attainable? I’d just like to play something a little more quirky, interesting, outrageous. And uninhibited.“

“You’re not worried that she can do comedy,“ the movie’s director, Dennis Dugan, tells me. “You can tell she can do comedy. So we just met her and cast her. I really think she can have one of those diverse, Oscar-winning careers. As far as I’m concerned, there’s no horizon to her talent.“

The sun has gone down, and we’re standing on the sidewalk in front of the Italian joint, across from the pier. I’m holding a small stuffed Spider-Man doll that Jessica won as a prize back at the amusement park and which she’s given to me to give to my son. I ask what she’s doing tonight, and she says she’s playing chaperone to a girlfriend on a first date. “Basically, I’m her wingman tonight,“ she says. “I’ll probably slip away if it’s rolling along well.“

She graciously agrees to a photograph with me, which I would include except for two reasons: (1) I don’t want to make Justin Timberlake jealous, and (2) you never quite understand how unattractive you are until you see yourself in a picture with Jessica Biel.

I watch her as she walks toward the pier. I know it’s where her car is parked, but I have this image of her heading straight back to the Pier Plank Plunge. The carny won’t know who she is, nobody on the pier will recognize her, and she’ll just hand over her fiver and go at it. That red button, almost within her reach. Attainable.

#jessica biel #gq #gq 2007 #articles #magazines #cover #interviews

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infiniteeight8 · 10 months

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I loved your Titan/Infinity Stone AU! Any more ideas or inspiration for that 'verse?

Okay, I made you wait 6 days for it, but at least it's longer than usual! Here's more, with another appearance of the Soul Stone, as promised. Not much shippy in this one, though.

Edited to add links to: Part 1 Part 2

Stephen abruptly looks past Tony and yells, “Stop!”

Tony twists, one gauntlet coming up defensively, and sees that the Guardians have broken away from their discussion and are now standing over Thanos and the gauntlet that still adorns the corpse. The guy, Star-Lord maybe, is bending down. He doesn’t stop when Stephen yells, either, instead pulling the gauntlet off of Thanos’s hand and straightening up with it.

Stephen launches himself up off the rock he’d been sharing with Tony and strides over to them. “Trying to use that could kill us all,” he snaps sharply. “Even with the gauntlet, we’re not made to contain that kind of power.”

“Look, I’ve held an Infinity Stone before,” Star-Lord retorts. “I’m not all human, okay? All I want to do is get Gamora back, I’m not going to try to change half the universe.”

“There’s more than one stone on that gauntlet,” Stephen says. “Even if you knew how each of them worked, which I highly doubt, you know nothing about making them work together.”

Star-Lord takes an aggressive step towards Stephen. “For Gamora, I’m willing to take the risk!”

Stephen looks like he’s winding up for a fight, but then the lady with the antennae gasps. “Peter! The Soul Stone!”

“What?” Star-Lord—Peter, Tony guesses—looks down at the gauntlet and then swears, clutching it in both hands. The Soul Stone is gone. “Where the hell could it have gone?” He demands. “Gamora died for that thing, we can’t just lose it!”

Tony knows where the stone is, of course, but he’s not about to volunteer that without more information. Stephen knows, too, as the bearer of the Time Stone, but he keeps quiet as well.

You want to fill me in? Tony asks silently.

Gamora was one of those offered to me as I starved, the Soul Stone replies. It doesn’t sound remorseful, only matter of fact.

Are they right? Can you bring back the dead? The thought sends a chill through Tony. As much as he would love to get back people he’d lost, there was no one he trusted with that kind of power, and he had no illusions about the lengths people would go to to get a hold of it.

No, the stone says, thank God. But Gamora is not dead in the usual sense. She was sacrificed to me, and I hold all the souls so given.

Tony hasn’t decided yet, but he figures he ought to have all the information before he does. Could you give this one back?

Yes. But Reality would need to make her a new body. The old one is no longer serviceable.

Does Reality need a bearer for that? Tony isn’t thrilled at the idea of any of this group—now shouting at each other and Stephen while Star-Lord digs around in the dirt as if the Stone might have just fallen out of the gauntlet—the Reality Stone.

No. I could ask. They would probably agree. Moreso, if Time asks as well.

Tony blows out a breath and then drags Stephen away from the argument. They let him go, fortunately. Tony lowers his voice. “The Soul Stone says it can bring her back, since it was the one that killed her,” he says. “But it needs Reality to do it. It says it would help if Time asked, too. What do you think?”

Stephen casts a wary glance at the other group. “I think we have two more or less cooperative Infinity Stones, and they have three Infinity Stones, plus the gauntlet,” he murmurs. “That’s a fight I’d rather avoid. And… it would be nice to get someone back from this whole mess.”

“Yeah,” Tony says. For a moment, all he can feel is exhausted. “Yeah, it would.”

Turning, Tony eyes the arguing group. Maybe it would be better to just… take care of things, rather than jump into that. You need me to be hands-on with Reality? he asks the Soul Stone.

No, it replies. You wish me to return Gamora to this world?

Yes. Tony remembers the Soul Stone talked about being free. Please. This won’t hurt you? You mentioned being starved of purpose.

I do not need to consume souls, it reassures him. Thank fuck, because Tony hadn’t even thought to ask about that before. Merely be among them. Touch them, sometimes. Returning this one will have great impact on their souls.

Let’s do it, then.

Tony’s right gauntlet, where the Soul Stone is hidden, lights up with an orange glow. Then Stephen’s amulet does the same, in green. Just as Star-Lord and his group notice, Thanos’s gauntlet lights up red. He shouts and drops it. Red light beams out of Thanos’s gauntlet and collides mid-air with orange beams shooting out of Tony’s . They twine together, so brightly they make Tony squint, and then abruptly disappear, leaving a green skinned woman in their wake.

Is she supposed to be green? Tony asks silently. The Soul Stone sends him a wordless affirmation; everything is as it should be.

Star-Lord and the rest shout and mob the green woman. A happy reunion, it looks like.

Peter—not Star-Lord, Peter Parker—quietly sidles up between Tony and Stephen while the others are still celebrating. “I’m really glad they got their friend back,” he says. “But does anyone know how we’re supposed to get home? Because I’m pretty sure all the ships we brought, you know,” he makes an illustrative hand gesture, “crashed.”

(I confess, I have a bunch more ideas for this AU. Feel free to prompt, either in general or with specific things in this AU.)

#IronStrange

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hazel-of-sodor · 23 days

Text

Something Holy This Way Comes

Ch.17 Sarah

Other Stories

Other Chapters

That night a small form shot into the sheds with a cry of “Miss Screech!”, the Eldritch Titan catching the child effortlessly and setting her on her running board.

“Driver has told you about running in the sheds.” Screech rumbled admonishingly.

Sarah grinned unrepentantly and wrapped her arms around Screech’s nose, muffling Screech’s mock sigh.

“...it is good to see you again, little one.”

“Freda told her all the engines were done for the night and she was off before I could catch her..” Miss Lewis strode in, now wearing the Uman and Din drivers uniform, Freda, Gywn, and Miss Morgan following her.

“You know better than to run in the engine sheds.” She said to her daughter.

Sarah ignored the reprimand, “I told you we would find her.”

Her mother shook her head fondly, “yes, yes you did.”

‘I sense this one is to be protected the same as Mali?’ the whisper asked lazily.

‘correct.’ Screech thought.

Mali poked her head out from where she was checking Avon’s lubricators, “what about me?”

‘she can hear me?’

Mali looked around in confusion.

“Apparently.” Screech said.

“Mali can hear Screech’s whisper.” Cassandra explained to the confused engines and humans.

Mali wiped her hands on a rag as she came to the front of the shed, her tendrils floating around her head like she was underwater.

“You look like Screech!” Sarah exclaimed excitedly.

Mali smoothed down her tendrils self-consciously, “yeah, Screech made me like her to save me a few days ago…I’m still getting used to it.”

“It's been less than a week,” Abbey reassured her, “and you have as much time as you need.”

“Can you make me like you?” Sarah asked excitedly.

“No.” Screech said firmly. “It was only done to Mali out of desperation, and without Cassandra it would not have worked.”

Cassandra nodded, “Mali was already attuned to Screech beforehand, and had spent several hours being shielded by my light, and we still almost lost her.”

“We still don't know exactly how what happened will change me,” Mali said seriously, rubbing her arms as if to ward off the cold. Cassandra flicked her lamp on, warming her. Mali gave her a small smile of thanks before continuing, “all we know for certain is I'm not human anymore. Not entirely.” Her tendrils waved anxiously in a non-existent wind.

Miss Lewis looked concerned, “what side effects have happened so far?”

“Besides the obvious?” Mali asked dryly as her eyes glew emerald, “I’m cold all the time, I don't weigh what I'm supposed to, I’m stronger than I was…Soot also wouldn't come near me for a bit.”

‘mrmmpt?’ said cat lifted her head up from where she was laid on Avon’s runningboard when she heard her name.

“What do you mean you don't weigh what you're supposed to?” Blaidd asked curiously.

Mali stepped out into the snow, but failed to sink into it, instead standing atop the snow.

“You're not entirely in this world.” Cassandra explained. “So not all of you is there to press down.”

“Well that’s comforting.” Meeka’s sighed.

Cassandra gave the engine equivalent of a shrug, “it happens with me whenever I use the Lady’s light. When I faced down the beast that wanted to hunt Stephen, it was able to knock me off the rails because of that. Luckily Gordon had heard my whistles and arrived just after.”

“You handled the creature in the scrapyard just fine.” Freda said curiously.

“Creature?” Miss Lewis asked.

Greda quickly explained about the fight with the remnant in the old scrapyard.

“You were all shielded,” Cassandra explained once she had finished. “Everyone there had spent enough time around Screech and myself to be more resistant to the effects of the Lady’s light, which allowed her to shield you from the fight.”

“The dome of light wasn't you. Not alone at least,” Gywn surmised.

Caomhnóir shook her head, “the Lady held it in place so I could focus on the fight without worrying about hurting you with her light. Driver’s clothes were burnt as is.”

Robert snorted, “Alice was not pleased to see them.”

Cassandra winced, “Sorry, I’ll…”

Robert cut her off with a snort, “she was upset with me, not you. Said I knew better than to hang about in such a fight.” He turned to Miss Morgan, “Speaking of, any luck getting permission to burn the yard?”

She nodded. “Everyone in Lloergan felt the remnant’s presence, they’re as eager to see the yard gone as we are. Saturday we’ll make sure nothing of value is left then, weather permitting, burn the rest where it stands.”

#ttte fanfic #rws fanfic #fanfic #U&D #U&DR #Uman and Din #Uman and Din Railway #Eldritch #Eldritch Train #Eldritch Engine #Eldritch Horror #Ghost Train #Ghost Engine #engines that go bump in the night #ttte thomas #ttte Cassandra #Genderfluid Characters

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religion-is-a-mental-illness · 1 year

Text

I worked at a place that had ballroom venues for events. Annually, Chipendale dancers had a show at this place. The amount of calls we dealt with for groping, cat-calling, lewd behavior, and general harassment toward the performers and staff was outrageous. This was at a native owned casino in the Midwest where they also had an annual powwow event at which members of rival native gangs would murder each other. Chipendale night was worse than Indian murder weekend. Anyway, they also hosted boxing events and one guy commented once on how sexy he thought the ring girl was. He was evicted for a year. The ladies who molested security staff? No evictions.

As a man, even in the most progressive countries, you are seen as the secondary parent to your child.

We aren't allowed to make fun of fat people, but it's more than acceptable to rip on guys due to their height.

I had a psycho ex that was trying to kick in my door, I called the cops. She left before they got there. She wrote all over my car in lipstick. The cops laughed at me and were like - you afraid of a girl? And told me they couldn't do anything about the lipstick because they didn't see her do it. I would have been in jail for the same shit.

I have mentioned this before.. but I have a weird work schedule that gives me several weekdays off. I would take my girls to the parks nearby, and got constant side-eyes and resentment from the haus-fraus and molly-mormon sanity groups there with their kids. I even had the cops called on me twice asking me to prove I had my own kids there.

wanting men that are tall is a matter of preference and can be voiced out loud and is somehow acceptable even though they have no control over it but men on the other hand can't voice their preference in any regard else they'd be cancelled for body shaming.

I'm older: I have only cried at a movie one time. It was the end of Braveheart. My date was turned off. Said it was "not cool". Same girl hit me for not crying when Jack went down at the end of Titanic, said it was "not cool". I decided she was not cool.

I’ve had multiple women make comments on my weight gain

The Duluth Model. It states that men are abusive in order to control and women are abusive because they are victims of abuse. Most law enforcement agencies use this model in dealing with DV cases. The creators disavowed their own work and admit it is completely biased and flawed but is still in use in the majority of the country

I was a tray aid (food server) at an elderly home, and I went thru a fitness phase where I lost a ton of weight and gained a lot of muscle. Nearly all of the CNA’s (young and old) would come up and grope me (rub my arms, nipples, back, etc) and talk super flirty about how good i looked. It took a few weeks for the older CNA’s to finally snap out of it and start telling the younger ones that it wasn’t right

If I open up and share the things weighing on my mind somehow that makes me weak and a crybaby but if I hold it all in and just “suck it up” I’m contributing to toxic masculinity and I’m an asshole.

When my ex-wife (of a 16 year marriage) had a year long affair before I caught her and we split up. She wanted to not tell anyone that she'd had an affair, and wanted to have an even split on custody and divorce etc. I asked her, "if I'd been cheating on you, would you have agreed to keep it a secret and still let me have 50-50 custody of our kids?" Her answer? "of course not." But like, the way she said it was like, "obviously, cuz you're a man, it's fine to tell everyone about the affair, and for the mom to get the kids." Even, when people did find out there was an affair, 90% of them thought it was me that had cheated. I never cheated on anyone. But cuz I was a guy, then obviously it was me.

I don't think any of my girlfriends have ever bought me flowers. I like flowers.

Women don’t ask for consent. I have a female acquaintance who described something they did to a man that would otherwise be considered sexual assault — but she was joking about how awkward the guy was.

Worked at a hotel in Edinburgh and had to wear a kilt. Cleaning staff LOVED lifting my kilt. I've rarely been out in a kilt but whenever I have been (not weddings) random women will lift it to see. I wouldn't dare lift a woman's skirt. I'm not even that attractive and assume it's much more likely to handsom guys.

My daughter is now 11, but when she was younger, a lot of women were surprised at how involved I was in my daughter's education, medical appts, and her life in general. There is still the double standard where it's assumed the mother is the one who knows all the details of their kids' lives. My wife had a very busy career and so we tried to evenly split all the parenting responsibilities as much as possible. It was amazing at how many places like playgrounds or fun kid stuff where it would be just my daughter and I, and it was assumed I was a single dad or more often that it was my custody time. Fortunately, my daughter looks very like me because I would sometimes get double takes from mom's to make sure I was not stealing some random kid or a pedophile.

Women taking advantage of a male teenager rarely get the same disgust compared to a male taking advantage of a female teenager. It's always an abuse of power and wrong no matter who does it. The double standards for this by teachers are the worst.

If sex with her is not that great that is my fault. If she does not enjoy sex with me that is also my fault.

After I and my wife separated, she took my kid and told the police, CPS, random doctors, etc that I SA'd my kid. When talking to my lawyer, CPS, police, or whoever, the first thing they would ask is if I'm paying child support and am I up to date with it. Only after I assured them that I was would they continue helping me. Now I've gained custody, she has never even bought a pencil for school but still accusing me of BS. Anytime I bring up child support with anyone it's always "we'll get to that later". Why is she allowed to be a deadbeat mom without consequences while I would possibly be in prison if I were a deadbeat dad?

A friend of mine is a male military spouse, no kids. You would think that the military spouse community would be so welcoming as everyone has that in common. Absolutely not, in fact he gets denied access to online support groups because he is a guy. He has 0 support. Many military spouse appreciation events don't think or care about male spouses. He just stopped trying to integrate with the other spouses, or go to events. It is really sad.

Women almost always refuse to acknowlege that men have any problems at all. And when they do acknowlege them, it's like "they're caused by patriarchy, so help us fight patriarchy", and it's like, "no bitch, how about you stop being an ass and have some sympathy for once in your fucking life". So many of men's problems just, don't exist or aren't worth thinking about for women. But when men behave the same way about women's problems, they're sexist.

In rural Africa, FGM is still a modern day practise that sees the labia and sometimes clitoris removed before the child can even stand up or give consent. This painful procedure leads to death in a small amount of cases. This is obviously disgusting. In the Western world, circumcision is still a modern day practise that sees the foreskin cut away or sometimes bitten off by an adult before the child can even stand up or give consent. This painful procedure leads to death in a small amount of cases. This is widely accepted and sometimes seen as a hate crime to oppose. How is this OK?

Continued:

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/15cto3y/men_of_reddit_what_absurd_double_standards_have/

One double standard that keeps coming up again and again: women's problems are caused by external societal factors ("tHe pAtRiArChY!") that society has to fix, while men's problems are caused by their own flawed internal factors that they have to fix.

She was cutting? It's because society doesn't respect or understand her and doesn't treat her right. Women are already perfect. Society has to recognize that and do better. Teach men that women are hurting.

He killed himself? He must have been fragile and too toxically macho to talk about his feelings. Men should recognize that and do better. Teach boys to cry.

#The Tin Men #double standards #MenToo #hypocrisy #religion is a mental illness

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mmfan1 · 1 year

Text

WIP - no name yet - another scene from the AU I started yesterday

“Not grieving so much as I should. Our match was an arranged one, one that would keep our estate in our family. You see my father is the Earl of Grantham and I am one of three daughters. As you probably know primogeniture does not give the right of inheritance to daughters, but to the next male in line to the title. In this case, my second cousin. He was a nice chap, but had no sense of business, and I did not find him the best company.”

“How long were you married?”

“We married in 1912, after he survived the Titanic disaster. My parents felt it was a divine sign that we should in fact be married. Before that the engagement was not official and I thought I might be able to snag a duke and leave Patrick to my sister, to whom he was much better suited.”

“So I guess your husband was a lucky chap”

“For a while he was, survived the Titanic, served in the War, but ultimately made it through without injury”

“What happened to him?”

“He was killed in a stupid car crash on the day our son was born. He held him once, told him earnestly that he loved him, and died on the way home”

“How awful for you, for the whole family. When did this happen?”

“Robert Patrick is 7 months old now and he shares his birthday with his father’s date of death. And yes it was awful, the shock of it, and also knowing Robbie would grow up without a father. Because I do believe he would have made a good father, he was so looking forward to being a father and teaching our son to be the next Earl. You see the whole point of our marriage really was to produce an heir and we were finally successful at that. It had taken us eight years, I was beginning to think our marriage really had been pointless “

“Was there not a little element of love?”

“Oh you are so middle class. There was some respect, perhaps appreciation. But we spent more than half our marriage apart during the war. And Patrick was quite injured by it. Miraculously not physically, but mentally.”

“As most men of our generation “

“May I ask you something?”

“ I suppose you should be entitled to, I’ve done nothing but ask you questions “

“Do you still think about the war? More than three years later?”

“ I would be untruthful if I said I did not. But I do try to move on. It’s just that so many things have happened since the war ended, not all of them good.”

“Does it hurt to talk about? Because we don’t have to if you don’t want to. Surely you did not come to this club to hear tales of woe”

“For now l will only share that I too have lost my spouse. She was sweet and Spanish flu stole her life not long after we married after the war.”

“Children?”

“I’m afraid not. But this whole conversation has been way too serious for this club.”

“And what should we be discussing at a club like this?”

“Well I believe everyone is dancing, may I have the privilege of this dance, Lady….?”

“Lady Mary, and yes you may Sir…?”

“Not Sir, just Matthew”

He held out his hand, she placed hers in it and they headed to the dance floor.

#mary crawley #Matthew Crawley #OTP #suggest a title #Commuter writing on an iPhone #So happy to be writing just a Iittle again #I miss my Mary and Matthew #@autumnrose11 #@kehlana wolhamonao3

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jazzystudios82 · 7 months

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His Lovely Rose - Chapter 2: Beerus's Vision

Previous. . . . Next Chapter. . . .

Location: Beerus' Planet. . . .

Brier and Kero had grabbed everything needed to contact the goddess’ father, Arum. A silver bowl filled with clear water and Brier’s grimoire. The only thing that they were having trouble with was finding a suitable place to place the silver bowl.

“Kero, where do you think we should put it?” Brier asked as the two walked around their home. “Well, how about we have the call in the dining room?” Kero suggested, holding the medium sized bowl in his right hand. “That way while you talk with your father, I can also start cooking a meal for Lord Beerus and Whis when they return.” Brier replied with, “Excellent idea, Kero! Let’s get started.”

“Right away, my lady.”

Brier and Kero immediately walked to the dining room, both placing the necessary items on the dinner table. Brier opened up her grimoire, immediately going to the page filled with different summoning spells. She skimmed through the contents of the page until her ruby red eyes landed on the one she was looking for. A spell for contacting a family member.

Brier then placed her grimoire on the table, and looked at the bowl of water. Brier raised her hands over the bowl and chanted the spell in the ancient language of the gods:

“murA ginK natiT taerG O, eeht nommus I!”

Suddenly, the water in the silver bowl began to rise into the air. It then turned into a medium-sized orb, with a soft green glow coming from the center of it. “Hello? Who’s there?” a soft and smooth voice asked. “It’s me, Father.” Brier answered. ‘Ah! So it is! How are you, my little rose blossom?” he asked, now sounding cheerful.

“I’m doing fine.” Brier answered with a small smile on her face. Despite being a full grown adult, Brier still smiled whenever her father addressed her by her old childhood nickname. “And how are you doing?” “I’m doing good as well, thank you for asking me.” her father replied. "So, what is it that you wanted to tell me?" Brier asked, getting straight to the point. "Pardon? What do you mean?"

"What do you mean, 'what do you mean'? Kero said that you spoke with him earlier and said that you wanted to talk to me right away!" Brier told him "Oh that! It's nothing really, I just wanted to. . .speak with you is all." Arum admitted. "?" "Brier? Are you ok?"

"Let me get this straight: You had Kero contact me all because you wanted a chat?" Brier questioned. ". . .Yes?" her father said. Instead of getting annoyed, Brier let out a melodious laugh. "B-Brier?!" "I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be mean!" Brier told him. "It's just a little funny to think that the 'Great Titan King Arum' missed his daughter so much that he had her familiar call him." "This was a mistake-" "Oh relax! It's fine." Brier assured him. "Now, what do you want to talk about, Father?"

"Anything, really." Arum told her. "Really? Even about Beerus?"

". . .I suppose so. However, I’m afraid to ask you this, but is your husband still asleep? I swear if he is, I’m going to-” “No, he isn’t.” Brier interrupted. “He woke up not too long ago.”

“Really? Well, that’s good I suppose.” Brier’s father said, not sounding as cheerful as he was before. “Father-” “What? I didn’t say anything.”

“But I know what you’re about to say. ‘Oh I hope that that lazy bag of bones is actually doing his job for once!’ Am I right or am I wrong?” Brier responded. “. . .I never once said something like that.” "Yes you have!" Brier said, sounding rather exasperated. "I've heard you mutter it when you thought he wasn't paying attention at the last family dinner!"

'. . .So you heard that, huh?'

“YES! And I can assure you, father, that Beerus is out doing his job right now!”

Location: Outer Space. . . .

Beerus sneezed for the second or third time today. 'Ugh, who's talking about me?' he wondered as he sat on a random meteor, impatiently waiting for Whis to come back. He was still hungry since he didn’t eat much earlier, so he had Whis go search for food. And that was nearly two minutes ago! Trying his best to be patient, Beerus decided to think about other matters, such as the dream he had when he was asleep. It was about a mysterious warrior who would be worthy enough to be his rival. The only issue that he had was remembering what his name was. 'Now what was it?. . .'Super something' I think. . .Argh! Where is he? How long does it take for someone to bring a snack?’ he wondered.

Beerus looked at a small blue orb that was inside of an hourglass. Whis had left it so that Beerus could communicate with him (they didn’t communicate telepathically like Brier and Kero do). He looked at the orb and called out, “Whis, are you almost done?”

“I still have two more minutes, Lord Beerus.” the angel answered, using his staff to talk with Beerus. He had traveled to a planet that was filled with alien dinosaur creatures and other oddities. Whis spotted a four eyed yellow skinned alien that had recently killed a giant blue dinosaur-like creature, whose body was being carried by various small green colored blob-like aliens. He must have been their leader.

“I’m terribly sorry to interrupt your great moment, chief.” Whis announced. The Alien Chief looked behind him to see who was talking to him. “You see, it’s this dinosaur meat you have with you. Word is that it’s quite delicious. We’ve heard tales of it all across the Seventh Universe. I’m sure it was a difficult hunt, so I hate to take it from you.” Whis said, semi-apologetic. “Nevertheless, I am taking it.”

However, the alien spoke in a different language. "Ho ho ho ho!", was what he said. 'Oh no, not this tongue.' the angel thought. Whis cleared his throat and did his best to communicate with the alien peacefully.

"Ho ho ho, ho ho ho ho."

"Ho ho, ho ho ho!"

"Ho ho ho, ho ho ho ho ho ho."

"Ho ho, ho ho ho."

This continued for a while until Whis got tired. “Lord Beerus only gave me three minutes to acquire this in my own way, if you could hand it over nicely it’ll give me something to brag about.” Whis sighed. “And you and your world can escape unharmed. I’d call that a win-win situation.” However, instead of listening to Whis, the Alien Chief transformed into a more monstrous form, where he now had red skin, dark horns, and a muscular build.

“Oh my. It seems your species can achieve a combat transformation. It seems my research was woefully incomplete. But, I still have forty seconds.” Whis muttered to himself. “Nope! Sorry, time’s up!” a voice boomed out. The angelic attendant looked up to see his God of Destruction looming over him and the alien brute.

“It’s only been two minutes and twenty seconds, and you know it.” Whis said. “You sure? Because it feels like it’s been twenty centuries and two years for me, Whis.” Beerus replied.

“Oh pish posh, I still don’t get why you’re so irritable the first few years after waking up.” Whis said. “Also, the talk about this dinosaur meat from Lord Typhon II is just rumors. They may not even be true.” 'Again, it amazes me that Brier is able to put up with you when you're like this. . .'

“I’m well aware of that, but I still think it’s worth a try. If the stories are true, it packs a flavor that is unrivaled in the cosmos.” Beerus said, licking his lips. “I’m hoping it gives a jolt to my senses and helps me remember the figure from my dreams.”

“A dream?” “A premonition that I had during my great slumber.”

“Forgive me, but your “premonitions” don’t have a history of coming to fruition. Once you dreamt of a galactic pop star moving to our solar system. And that didn’t pan out, now did it?” Whis told him. Beerus looked at him, annoyed. “You’re mocking me, aren’t you?”

Suddenly, the Alien Chief leapt at Beerus in an attempt to attack him. However, he was able to block the creature’s attacks by simply using his finger, without using much effort either. He even dodged the creature’s blasts with a lazy smile on his face. Then Beerus appeared in front of him, with his hand raised to the creature’s face.

“I find you dreadfully boring.” he said, his smile gone.

The Chief ignored what he said and opened his mouth, blasting him with red hot fire. Or so he thought.

Beerus had moved out of the way in time. The creature tried again, only this time Beerus returned the fiery blast back at him. This caused a giant explosion aftwards. The smoke cleared, showing that the brute had crashed into the dirt below him. “Are you done now?” Whis asked. “It really irks me when a creature lacks basic manners.” Beerus muttered. “My my, you sound just like your father-in-law.” Whis commented in a joking manner.

“Whis, please don’t joke about something like that. Now then, what was I talking about?” Beerus said. “You had a premonition about a mysterious figure you can’t remember.” Whis answered.

“Oh right. I’m this close to remembering, but I can't. And it’s so annoying, it’s like that feeling when you have something caught in the back of your teeth that you can’t fish out!” he complained. “Or like a bit of dried earwax that you can’t reach but feel rattling around in your head all day! You know what I mean right? It’s the worst!”

“. . .So my lord, what about the meat? Shall we try some?” Whis asked, not wanting to answer Beerus' question. Instead of answering right away, Beerus formed a glowing ball of white light in the palm of his hand. “?” “Forget it, it doesn’t look so tasty after all.” Beerus said. He then released the ball of light towards the ground of the planet, which slowly sank into the soil. Cracks appeared, and beams of golden yellow light came forth. The planet was in the process of being destroyed. Beerus and Whis left the planet immediately to watch the aftermath.

And just like that, the planet was blown to smithereens in a brilliant flash of golden light, bits and pieces of it flying all over the place.

“You know, one might see this explosion and think of something foul, but in my eyes there is nothing more beautiful than a shattering planet.” Beerus said. “Oh really? And what about Lady Brier? If I remember correctly, you once said that she was the most beautiful woman in the entire Multiverse. In fact, you said that she's more beautiful than Lady Helles herself.” Whis asked in a teasing tone.

This caught Beerus off guard. “. . .Well, yes, I suppose I did.” he muttered with a faint blush on his face. “Anyway, are you sure that was wise? What if the meat could have helped you?” Whis questioned. “I guess I didn’t need it, this explosion did the trick. I can see him, the ultimate fighter, waiting to be awoken. His power will suitably keep me entertained in terms of combat. And now the image has a name.” Beerus told his attendant. “Then by all means, let’s hear it.” Whis said.

“. . .Now what was it?” Beerus asked himself. Whis did his best not to let out an annoyed sigh.

“I know it starts with an “S”. It’s “Super” something. . .Wait. . .a Super Saiyan God.” Beerus muttered to himself. “Super Saiyan God? Are you sure?” His attendant questioned. “I think. . .great, now I’m forgetting it again. You see, that’s the problem with visions, they’re too slippery.” Beerus said. “It appears so. Well, I wouldn’t strain your mind too much about it. How about we go back and get you fed?” Whis asked. "I'm certain that Kero is making you a meal right this minute." “You don’t have to ask me twice.” Beerus said. Whis nodded and proceeded to use his staff to transport them back home.

Location: The Sacred World of the Kais. . . .

“?!” Elder Kai dropped his cup of tea upon sensing the energy of someone he thought was still deep in slumber.

“Elder, is something the matter?” Kibito Kai asked, concerned. “Is something wrong with the tea? Is it too bitter?” “Are you serious? You didn’t feel that?” Elder Kai questioned. Kibito Kai took a moment to see if he missed something, but he still felt nothing. "No, I'm afraid not. Why?" This made Elder Kai even more rattled.

“Were you born yesterday?!” he exclaimed, slamming his wrinkled hands on the table. “This is bad. Horribly, horribly bad. It’s only been thirty nine years. Lord Beerus the Destroyer has awoken.”

------------------------------------------------------------

Arum Profile

Voice Claim: Husk from Hazbin Hotel (Keith David)

Age: The same as The Grand Minister (1.4 Trillion)

Gender: Male

Species: Titan

Powers & Abilities: N/A

#dragon ball #dragon ball super #dragon ball fanfiction #lord beerus #beerus x original character #god of destruction #dbs angels #ao3 fanfic #fan fiction #anime and manga #oc x canon #anime fanfic #whis dbs #his lovely rose au #bride of the destroyer story

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cto10121 · 3 months

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R&J Clown Takes Round ♾️ Part 14

Featuring a lot of recycled clownery, some comments on the recent Jamie Lloyd production, which looks to be a mess of clownery as well, and R&J being such a ~~light-hearted comedy. On nom nom

Tag yourself, I’m “a critic second.”

I like how Clown OP had to act like the Chorus’ very flattering and romantic description of R&J was a literal prophecy. 🤣 Like R&J were some Lord of the Rings-esque fantasy novel.

So “star-crossed lovers” have nothing to do with R&J being destined to fall in love. It literally means “crossed by the stars.” As in, the forces of the universe hate their guts and fucked them over. This idea is repeated with the Friar saying that Death is “enamored” with Romeo’s parts (the French musical as always picked up on that brilliantly) and that he and Juliet are “wedded to calamity.”

You said it, Clown OP! Fuck *checks list* Titanic, Casablanca, Pyramus and Thisbe, The Fault in Our Stars, Brokeback Mountain, Moulin Rouge, The Bridges of Madison County, The Notebook, The English Patient, and all of dem cats. No one on this earth has ever or will ever think of these as love stories!!!!

“The families weren’t paying attention—” The Capulets tried to marry Juliet off because she “wept immoderately” for Tybalt’s death. Because she felt sad for the death of her own cousin. Before that they kept Juliet under almost constant supervision, and Juliet herself is called for at least three times.

The only accusation of neglect that may ring true is the Montagues, who are so hands-off they have to get freakin’ Benvolio, their own nephew, to find out about their own son. Even so, they seem much nicer than the Capulets. Lady M died of heartbreak over Romeo’s banishment and even in his madness Romeo made sure to let his parents know via letter of his intentions.

“R&J Is A Comedy!!1!!1” Round ♾️

So this is what happens in the “light-hearted” first half of the play before Mercutio’s and Tybalt’s deaths that these clowns insist is a comedy:

Sampson and Gregory joke about killing and raping Montague women

Tybalt threatens to murder Benvolio and attacks him

The Prince threatens to execute anyone who disturbs the peace again

Romeo talks about how Rosaline has sworn never to have sex and what an awful waste it is that she won’t open her legs to that sweet golden cum 😔

Capulet thinks Juliet is too young for marriage, but Paris cheerfully says that younger girls than she is (13-14) are already “happy mothers” 🤢

Lady Capulet tells Juliet that she was around her age (13-14) when she had Juliet—so that makes it a-OK to get her married!

The Nurse reminisces fondly about the time her husband joked about two-year-old Juliet having sex eventually when she gets smarter. Not older. Smarter. 🤮Oh, and she also casually drops the fact that the Capulets left Juliet with the Nurse and said husband while they were in Mantua doing fuck knows what

Mercutio’s fantastical Queen Mab speech becomes dark really quickly as he talks about raping virgins

Romeo has a presentiment of his untimely demise…which eventually comes true

Juliet worries that their love will be “like lightning”—here and gone before you know it

The Nurse believes Paris is hotter/better than Romeo for Juliet, which makes Juliet mad, foreshadowing their rupture

The Friar gives a dark warning in his famous “These violent delights” speech about the longevity of too-swift love

I think it’s obvious that there are attempts by Shakespeare to 1) satirize the feud and violent Veronian society and its gender roles and 2) foreshadow Romeo and Juliet’s death and set up the tragedy re: the Nurse’s betrayal of Juliet.

Just because a tragedy isn’t all doom and woe for 2 hours doesn’t mean it isn’t a tragedy. There is the danger, yes, of a production being 100% intense 100% of time; the dark comedy/satire is very much necessary from a thematic standpoint. I reckon that was the fault of this Jamie Lloyd one. But I read this shit when I was 10 and Mercutio’s and Tybalt’s deaths didn’t surprise me at ALL. It was an “oh shit” moment, sure. But I definitely understood why it occurred and I was not surprised. A good R&J production should have that same feeling.

#romeo and juliet #rj clown takes #r&j clown takes #the comedy thing is so increasingly ridiculous #the foreshadowing is not subtle #and verona is painted like such a clusterfuck #mercutio increasingly gained red shirt tendencies as the play went on

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graysonfamfan2021 · 10 months

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About the blogger meme

Thank you so much for tagging me @ambeauty bestie

Star sign: Sagittarius ♐️

Favorite 🤩 holidays: my birthday 🥳 Halloween 🎃, Christmas 🎄 and my mom’s birthday 🥳.

Last meal: barbecue 🍗 pizza 🍕

Current favorite 🤩 musicians: Pharrell Williams, dua lipa , Taylor swift and hailee steinfield.

Last music 🎶 listened to : classical, pop and rock .

Last movie 🍿 watched: Barbie in a Christmas carol, Barbie in the nutcracker and Barbie a fairy 🧚‍♀️ secret 🤫 and watching the Barbie movie 🍿 in theaters 🎭 with my friends.

Last tv 📺 show watched: titans , liberty’s kids and deadly women.

Last book 📖/ fic finished ✔️ : a cage of crystal by tessonja odette and it was romantic 🥰 and amazing 🤩 and suspenseful and I love ❤️ too many Dickkory fics from my besties and so I will name one ☝️ of them , it’s always been you by my bestie @escapism-through-imagination

Last book 📖/ fic abandoned : the stardust thief by Chelsea Abdullah and I will definitely 👍 get back to it as soon as I’m done ✔️ reading 📖 all of my fantasy books 📚 this year and next year.

Currently reading : never 👎 met a duke like 👍 you by Amalie Howard , the benevolent society of ill mannered ladies by Alison Goodman , haunted heroine by Sarah Kuhn and Chloe gong and I love ❤️ reading 📖 these books 📚 sm as they feature heroes and heroines who are often overlooked by society due to their race , sexuality and disability etc.

Last thing researched for art 🖼️/ writing ✍️ hyper fixation: 1920’s slang terms as I’m currently writing ✍️ two books 📚 and one ☝️ of them is a historical mystery set in 1920’s Detroit featuring an autistic heroine 🦸‍♀️ and I wanted to know these things so that I could portray the setting accurately.

Favorite 🤩 online fandom memories: Brenton’s birthday 🥳 post dedicated to Anna and I love ❤️ their friendship in real life and on Titans and mar’is appearances in seasons three and four as they made me smile 😊 so much and made me so happy 😀 .

Favorite 🤩 old fandom you wish would drag you back / have a resurgence: the teen titans fandom as I loved 🥰 reading 📖 robstar fics after school 🏫 and it was fun 🤩 .

Favorite 🤩 thing that you enjoy 😉 That had an active or big fandom that you wish you did : winx club as I always loved 🥰 Aisha/ Layla and the entangled with Fae book 📖 series by tessonja odette that definitely 👍 deserved it’s own fandom as it has a bisexual prince 🤴 Franco and his relationship with ember should have their own fics.

Tempting project you’re trying to rein in/ don’t have time for: completing my comics titans: Grayson family adventures, my own titans Dickkory fics , my 1920’s historical mystery and a fae nutcracker story.

I’m tagging my besties @escapism-through-imagination , @not-so-mundane-after-all , @selinascatnip , @ambelle , @itsjustafia , @majima4587 , @wonderbatwayne , @ablogthatishenceforthmine, @pandoraimperatrix , @ships-bynoa , @kasugayamaisforlovers and @koriandrsgar

#about the blogger

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bluenet13 · 2 years

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When there is no place safe and no safe place to put my head

Fandom: NCIS Los Angeles.

Characters: Marty Deeks, Kensi Blye.

Summary: After hearing disturbing noises, Deeks and Kensi confront their neighbors suspecting the husband is abusing his wife. But when things escalate, they find themselves in a dangerous situation.

For the @badthingshappenbingo prompt: domestic abuse.

AO3 - ff.net

Hey all, long time no see. It's been a while. I wrote this fic the week they announced the show's cancellation, and, after that, it just didn't seem right to post it right away. I never like to close doors, but I'm not sure if I'll ever write another fic for NCISLA. So, if this is my last, thank you. Thank you to the show, to Deeks and ECO, and the rest of characters and cast, for changing my life. And thank you to everyone that read and commented on my stories in the past. If it weren't for all your support, I wouldn't still be writing fanfiction 5 years after that one time I took a chance and decided to post 'Gray'.

Kensi walks into their house and immediately knows something is off. Deeks is kneeling on the floor, ear pressed against the wall, eyes closed in concentration.

"Deeks? What are you doing?" she asks, setting her bag down on the kitchen table. "What's going on?"

He jumps at the sound of her voice, turning to face her with a look of concern on his face. His worry briefly flashes away, his eyes darkening when he traces her long legs, but it comes back tenfold when a crash sounds next door. "Shhh, it's happening again."

Kensi lets out a sigh of long-suffering, knowing exactly what he's talking about, but asking anyway. "What's happening again, baby?"

"He's hitting her again," Deeks says simply, blue eyes still darkened but for a completely different reason.

"We don't know that's what's happening here, we have talked about this," Kensi states, not wanting to dismiss Deeks' concerns but also not wanting to jump the gun. "For all we know they could be doing renovations."

Deeks shakes his head and gestures for her to come over and listen.

Kensi reluctantly nods and kneels down beside him, pressing her ear to the wall. She can hear the muffled sounds of a woman crying, and a man shouting in the background. "Maybe they're watching a very emotional movie?" She suggests.

"I know what house renovations sound like, and this isn't it," Deeks argues, abandoning his post by the wall and moving to the window. "I've also seen you watch Titanic a million times, and this is a different type of crying."

Kensi chuckles but shakes her head. "Maybe, but it's not something for us to deal with. We're supposed to be keeping our heads down," she pleads, joining Deeks by the window. She wraps her arms around him and rests her head on his shoulder, raising on her toes to kiss his cheek. Eventually she turns him away from the window and presses a kiss to his lips, trying to distract him.

Deeks deepens the kiss but just as quickly pushes away and looks at her, a pleading look in his eyes. "Kens, please. You know I've been hearing it for a few days now, and it's getting worse. I can't just sit here and do nothing."

Kensi presses their foreheads together and whispers, "Since we got married, we've already moved four times. I know a couple were due to the job, but there's also that one time you thought our neighbors were smugglers, and then you were convinced the old lady next door was working for Kessler. And I really don't want to have to move again. I so happen to love this house, and Rosa is settling down. She's in a good school and is making friends."

Deeks sighs and smiles sheepishly at her. "Okay, I was way off about the smugglers, but I still think there was something off about Edith, we just moved before I could prove it." He drops his head on Kensi's shoulder and holds her close, some of the tension ebbing from his back.

She hugs him back and they stay like that for a few minutes, but then another crash sounds from the house, followed by a shriek and what appears to be glass breaking. Deeks tenses again and dislodges himself from her arms, turning back to look out the window.

Kensi sighs and runs a hand over her face, dropping on the couch with a grunt. "Deeks, it could be a dog playing and hitting some furniture, or kids running around the house. Or they could be having issues with their plumbing or replacing the carpet. I'm not saying it's not what you think, but we can't be sure."

Deeks shakes his head, and turns around, running a hand through his hair, pushing back the wayward curls that fall on his eyes. "Kens, I know what domestic abuse sounds like," he murmurs, holding her gaze. "I wish a neighbor had cared enough when I was a kid to try to interfere. Now I can do that for someone else and I need to do it. I need to stop another 11-year-old from having to shoot their father."

"We don't even know if they have kids," Kensi tries, but stops as she takes in his broken expression. His eyes are on her, but he looks haunted, and his mind's eye is clearly lost in memories of a long-lost past. "Okay, let's call the cops then. Let them handle it."

"Cops won't do anything. She will say it was an accident and they will go and turn a blind eye to what's in front of their eyes." Deeks keeps talking as he walks to the bedroom, coming back wearing boots, and a jacket, the outline of his off-duty weapon hidden enough for a civilian but not well enough for his partner to miss. "Besides, there's nothing an abuser hates more than cops showing up unexpectedly at their door."

"Yes, and I'm sure they will love a couple of federal agents instead," Kensi deadpans.

"I'm not an agent. I'm an investigator," Deeks says matter-of-factly.

"You say that like any of us even knows what the difference is," Kensi says, standing up from the couch and catching Deeks' wrist.

A fleeting grin crosses Deeks' lips but he quickly pushes it away. "I don't have to go like an agent or investigator, I can be a concerned neighbor wanting to know if everything is okay, or just a clueless neighbor asking for some salt." Deeks softly pulls his arm away and continues to the front door. He sets his hand on the handle and turns around, his expression still serious but a twinkle in his eye. "Or I can just say my wifey is baking a cake and ran out of sugar." He grins and her eye roll is so automatic, so quick and familiar, that he almost misses it.

Kensi tries to pin him with a serious look, but a soft smile breaks over her face anyway. "Yeah, right. Like I ever bake anything."

"Yeah, you just buy a cake and try to make everyone believe you bake it." Deeks's lips curve upward into a smile at the memory from so long ago. "But they don't know that."

Kensi's eyes crinkle in silent response. She worries at her bottom lip, like Deeks has seen her do a thousand times when he's trying to make her laugh and she's trying to resist. It's as distractingly sexy as it's telling, and his resolve almost crumbles, forgetting about the neighbors and taking her to the bedroom instead.

Kensi sees her husband run his tongue over his lips and feels her body respond. Her feet automatically carry her a few steps forward and her hands are suddenly on him. One hand tangles on his hair and the other braces against his chest as though to get her point across. "Are you sure you don't want to call the cops to deal with that and go have some fun in the bedroom? Rosa won't be home for a few hours," she whispers next to his ear, tickling the soft skin there, before she inches down and presses a chaste kiss to the corner of his mouth.

"I, uh, I-" Deeks is uncharacteristically at a loss for words, his mouth chasing after hers when she pulls back. He scrapes his teeth against her bottom lip and his eyes linger on them.

She laughs and tiptoes back towards their bedroom, her hands beckoning Deeks forward.

Deeks' first instinct is to follow, to not let her go so easily, but he has a duty that goes far beyond the LAPD oath he once swore and the NCIS manual he now follows. "Let's put a pause to this and we will continue later," he says, opening the door. "I'll be right back. You don't have to come."

Kensi groans and stops in her tracks, knowing she'd follow him anywhere he goes. "You're not going alone, Deeks. Give me a minute." She leans down and puts her shoes back on, then goes to grab her gun and badge and follows him out the door.

"Thank you," he says softly, his all-too-familiar grin finding its natural place on his face.

Kensi grins and squeezes his hand. "Anytime, partner. Now let's go bust down some doors."

"Wait, no, no. No busting down doors. We're just trying to help not cause more trouble," Deeks calls when he's left alone to chase after her, silently wondering why he thought it was a good idea to get his kickass wife to go confront their neighbors.

-x-x-x-

Together they make their way to their neighbor's house and softly knock on the door. As they wait, they take stock of the decaying plants on the sad looking pots on the porch and how all the curtains in the house are drawn. Eventually, a woman answers and they introduce themselves as neighbors, recalling how they met once why taking out the trash.

She reminds them her name is Cindy and tries to make some small talk but hesitates when her husband calls from inside the house demanding she turn the solicitors away. "I'm sorry, I was right in the middle of making dinner," she explains, blushing, but it's barely visible over the bruise already forming on her cheek.

"Is everything okay?" Deeks asks quickly as she begins to push the door shut. "We've noticed some noise coming from your house and wanted to make sure everything is alright," he says, trying to keep his tone light and not acussing.

Cindy's eyes flash and she inadvertently turns around back to the house. She opens her mouth but before she can say anything her husband, Johnny, steps up beside her. He instantly sets a hand on her hip and keeps the other behind the door, as if to limit their view of the inside.

"We don't want whatever you're offering, you can go now," Johnny says, trying to sound polite but coming across as demanding.

"We're not trying to sell you anything, we're your neighbors," Kensi interjects, signaling to their house. "We came to see if everything was alright after hearing some concerning noises."

Johnny seems taken aback by her directness but quickly composes himself. "Oh, sorry. Everything's fine. Just a minor disagreement while organizing the kitchen." He waves his hand dismissively and begins to pull his wife back inside.

Kensi can tell that he's not being entirely truthful and doubts the wife would risk saying anything incriminating in front of him. She glances over at Deeks, silently asking how far away he wants to take this.

Deeks subtly shakes his head, and says, "All good then. We also wanted to know if you've been having problems with your plumping or if it's just us."

Both Johnny and Kensi turn to him dumbfounded but he just smiles in return. "We got a leak, and the guy said it was due to old pipes. We're still new in the neighborhood so we were wondering if you have had any issues like that."

Johnny narrows his eyes, his defenses up after the abrupt subject change, but he answers anyway, "I can't say we have. But anything like that should have come up in your inspection so why don't you contact your realtor and let us move on with our night."

"We did," Deeks explains, "he said we should ask some of the neighbors to see if it's a community-wide issue. If you come with Kensi, she can show you."

Johnny reluctantly nods and follows Kensi across their yards, calling behind his back. "Go back inside, honey. I'll be right behind you. And remember I don't like my steak burned."

As they near the house, Kensi turns to look at Deeks and lifts her brow in a way that would be entirely threatening if she didn't look so hot, silently asking what the hell she's supposed to show him.

Deeks shrugs and throws her a wink as if to say you're a federal agent specializing in undercover work, figure it out.

Once Johnny is out of sight, Cindy tries to retreat back into the house, but Deeks asks her to listen to him for a second. He makes sure to take a step back as he speaks, his tone as soft and non-threatening as he can muster. "I think I know what's going on here and I know it's hard. I've been there before." At Cindy's disbelieving look, he raises his shirt slightly and points to a faint scar over his ribs. "It was a beer bottle when I was seven."

"I'm sorry," Cindy murmurs, and blinks her eyes rapidly but they fill even quicker.

"Thank you," Deeks says honestly. He knows the husband won't stay away for long, so he steers the conversation back towards her. "We can help you, if you want. You just say the word."

"He's not- He's not really." Cindy stops and wipes her tears away, winces when she bumps her blackening eye. It seems to spur her on and she nods. "How?"

"First we start by getting you away from here. I have some friends who can take you in for the night, or we can pick a shelter. I've volunteered at a few around LA, I can get you a bed. Then I'll call some friends at the LAPD." Cindy nods again and Deeks smiles, daring to hope this story will have a happy ending. "He won't hurt you again, I promise."

But Johnny is not as easily distracted as Deeks hoped and he quickly realizes what they are trying to do. Before Deeks knows what's happening, Johnny is on his face, clearly having heard at least the end of what he said. He's past being defensive and full on aggressive as he shouts, "What're you getting at?" He pulls Deeks back so roughly that he trips and would have fallen down if not for Kensi steading him. "Are you trying to accuse me of something?"

Deeks stands up straighter and doesn't back down. "We've heard some noises that sound like domestic disputes and we're concerned for your wife's safety," he says, no longer concerned with keeping the conversation civil.

Johnny's expression turns murderous and for a moment it's not his neighbor looking back at Deeks but one Gordon Brandel. "You have no right to come into my home and accuse me of something like that."

As Johnny becomes more agitated, voice raising and arms flailing about, Deeks turns back to Cindy. She's no longer inside the threshold of the house, but fully standing in the yard and cowering behind Kensi. Tears stream freely down her face and she's hugging herself as her small frame shakes. Deeks takes that as his sign and pulls out his phone.

He tries calling 9-1-1 but the husband suddenly punches him in the face, making him stumble and fall to the floor. Kensi quickly steps away from Cindy and pulls out her gun, pointing it at Johnny and telling him to back off.

Kensi helps Deeks get up and he wipes the blood from his lip. He cleans his hand on his pants and reaches back, grabbing his handcuffs off the waistband of his jeans and taking a step towards the husband. "You're under arrest, dumbass."

"It was self-defense," Johnny tries to claim as Deeks pulls his arms behind his back.

"I never laid a hand on you. And we have two witnesses to prove it." Deeks pushes him down to sit on the steps leading up to the porch and proceeds to dial 9-1-1, addressing Johnny again once he's done with the call. "And you're not only going down for domestic abuse, but also for assaulting a federal agent." He pulls out his badge and smiles as he shows it to Johnny.

"Good luck getting out of that one," Kensi says gladly. With the husband taken care of, she goes back to Cindy and hugs her softly. The distraught woman sinks into her arms and finally lets all her anguish out. Kensi runs her hand over her back and lets her sob.

The next hour is a flurry of activity as LAPD shows up to arrest the husband and take Deeks, Kensi and Cindy's statements. A few cops who know Deeks joke about him missing them so much he had to get involved in their call, others snicker about NCIS clearly having no grooming policy if he still looks like that, and the lucky few who actually know him and his past walk quietly to him and squeeze his shoulder in understanding before texting him later that night offering their support.

Then Johnny is taken into custody, and they try to help Cindy clean out the mess in her house. She refuses for the night but accepts their help the following day and takes the business cards they offer.

It's past dinnertime when Kensi drapes one arm across Deeks' shoulder and they make their way back. They stay silent as they walk across their front yard, eyes locked down as they try to ignore the abundance of neighbors that came out of their homes to check out what was happening outside.

Once inside, Deeks sits down on the couch and leans forward, resting his head in his hands. While Kensi goes to the freezer, coming back a moment later with a frozen bag of carrots. "Thank you," Deeks whispers when she carefully pushes him back against the cushions and sets the bag over the bruised side of his mouth.

They sit like that for a bit, the icy cold soothing but not as much as the featherlike touch of her fingers running through his hair. "I'm sorry we have to move again. I really didn't mean for this to happen." Deeks lets out a sigh and tips his head back to look at her face.

"I know," Kensi says in an exhale, tugging his hair away from his forehead so she can press a kiss there. "This wasn't your fault, Deeks."

"It kinda was." He smiles sheepishly and tucks himself closer against her side.

"Maybe. But we did the right thing. You know I don't like to see you hurting, physically or otherwise, but I'll never fault you for putting yourself in harm's way to help others. It's one of the things I love the most about you." Kensi says genuinely, before adding with a smirk, "Besides, you will make it up to me."

"Is that so?" Deeks raises an eyebrow in question and teasingly pokes her side.

Kensi nods and grabs her laptop from the coffee table, pulling up Zillow before she sets it over Deeks' outstretched legs.

Deeks groans but starts searching anyway. "I promise, from now on, I'll be more careful so we can stay put for a while. And who knows, maybe our new neighbors will be a little more peaceful."

"Ha! The only chance of that happening is us moving into the countryside where we wouldn't have neighbors for a few miles," Kensi mutters, rolling her eyes, knowing that trouble seems to find them no matter where they go.

"Who's moving into the countryside?" Rosa asks, alarmed, as she pushes open the door, followed by a nonchalant Roberta, who's sipping what looks suspiciously like a Margarita.

Deeks can only groan again at the sight, realizing Kensi is not the only woman in his life he will have to make it up to. But as she grabs his hand and squeezes once, he remembers they're a team and he doesn't have to face any challenge alone, be it arresting one's neighbor for domestic violence or having to move to a new place because of it.

#bad things happen bingo #NCIS Los Angeles #ncisla fanfiction #kensi blye #Marty Deeks

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