#I’m actually addicted to this album | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rinsaint · 1 year

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𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐓. ft atsumu miya

you find out the local loser in your school is actually a pervert

[ ☆ ] — pairing: atsumu miya x fem! reader

[ ☆ ] — contains/warnings: MDNI. nsfw, panty stealing, shy atsumu, atsumu jerks off and sniffs your panties, not rlly smut but minors dni !!

[ ☆ ] — a/n: this was sent in as a drabble from @prostheticmind !! shout out to them and their idea.

Atsumu was a mess every time he pocketed a new little treasure of yours, his hands would sweat and he would become jittery, so he always took them right before he was going home from your place, after studying. The temptation of them in his pocket was too much, like they were burning in his pocket.

He loved the adrenaline of it.

The first time he had done it, he was over at your house to finish a project. You were the popular on campus. You had every boy drawn to you, including himself. He felt lucky that you even spared a glance to him or even talked to him. Even though you forced him to do most of the project, he felt lucky that he had gotten to spend time with you, even though you didn’t feel the same way.

Atsumu had fit his hand in his jacket pocket, assuming that touching the soft fabric would calm him down a little, get him to act a bit like a person that wasn’t about to have a complete meltdown. If he thought he was being a mess before, after touching your frilly panties he had found in your laundry basket, he was practically dying.

After that, he became addicted.

He started taking the effort to make out a whole strategy to get away with his perverted needs, which was probably what made it all blow up in his face.

Things went south right as soon as he walked in through the your front door.

“you’re here early. let me get my laundry done real quick then you can do all the work, yea?”

Atsumu’s throat closed up at your words. He absolutely needed a new pair tonight, four of them already smell more like his cum after getting off on it so many times, and he was getting tired of them.

Atsumu needed to act fast, so as soon as you entered your bedroom he made a bee-line to your bathroom and closed the door. He ruffled around the basket between the sweatpants and t-shirts until he found what he was looking for. Atsumu was panting as if he was mid-way through his training, his hand was shaking as it pulled out a stitch of baby pink fabric.

It was a thong.

Atsumu didn’t know you used thongs, he must’ve missed them the previous times. He bit his lip and practically got hard thinking about you in the fabric.

It was thanks to that moment where he had to take time to gather his bearings that it all came crashing down.

Thanks to that fucking thong.

So when you swung open the door you caught him red handed, staring at you like a deer in the headlights. One hand stuffing something light pink in his pocket. Your eyes widen as you recognised what it was.

You stare at him for so long, lips slightly opened, brows lifted, a pissed off look in your eyes.

“the fuck..”

He stuttered out a response, tears prickling at the corner of his eyes.

“Y/n, please! I… it’s just… I’m sorry! I didn’t–“

“How long have you been doing this?” Your expression was unnervingly neutral, your voice strangely calm.

Atsumu had to clear his throat to sneer you, avoiding your eyes burning into his skin. “A-A month or so?”

“You’re asking me?”

Atsumu was in shock at your change in attitude. Sure, you’d always gone toe-to-toe with him whenever he started to get too clever, which was rarely. But now you were so commanding all of a sudden. And god dear he say, it turned him on.

“A month, yeah. Maybe a month and a week, t-the night you were going off about Taylor Swift’s new album”

You only let out a soft ‘Mhmm’ in reply but your gaze stayed on him. Atsumu finally managed to make his feet move and he started to back as far away from you as possible to get to the bathroom door.

“Listen y/n I’m so sorry, I know it’s disgusting. I’m gonna go and—“

“You know it’s disgusting, and you did it anyways.”

Your tone was clinical, factual, like you were discussing something trivial. Atsumu squirmed, his eyes locked on the floor.

“Yes, I know! I know—“

“You’re shaking, tsumie.” You pouted, strutting over to him, grazing your hand over his arm.

His eyes peered down to yours, and Atsumu inhales slightly. He couldn’t place it, but there was something in the way your eyes were boring into him. Something so consuming he couldn’t look away.

“You’re shaking, stuttering, your face is red… I’ve never seen you this embarrassed. You must really be ashamed of this.” You taunted, your voice smooth and teasing as your pointer finger grazed up and down his arm.

Atsumu tried speaking but words failed him so he only nodded effusively.

“And yet… You couldn’t help yourself.”

He shut his eyes, and pulled away from you but you quickly grabbed him by his arm, pulling him closer to you.

“tsumu, hey look at me.”

Atsumu relaxed into your touch, he opened his eyes and he felt his cock get tighter in his pants when you were inches away from his face.

“You couldn’t help yourself, couldn’t you? Bet you were getting off to them by rubbing it against your face, am i right?”

“y-yes..”

Your breasts pressed against his chest from how close you were to him. The lust in your eyes consuming him and swallowing him whole completely.

“Bet you’d do anything to rub your face against the real thing.”

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu smut #hq x reader #astumu x reader #atsumu smut #atsumu x y/n #atsumu x you #atsumu x female reader #atsumu x reader smut #haikyuu x you #haikyu x reader #haikyu smut #haikyuu x reader smut #haikyu #haikyuu #haikyu hcs #haikyuu atsumu

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fayeforrosie · 1 year

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Karaoke Nights

Yunjin x Fem! Reader

Already stressed from all of the busy work Yunjin was required to do for her album promotion, she seeks an escape at a Karaoke bar she habitually visits, not expecting to find the possible love of her life

Warnings- Cannabis usage, swearing, sexual content, mention of alcohol

Word Count- 3.4k

Yunjin’s eyes began to lower as her face contorted into a lazy smile, hair spread messily on the floor as she stared up at the spotted ceiling above, almost convinced that it had been spinning nearly two seconds ago.

The idol brought her blunt back up to her parted lips, inwardly inhaling as she closed her eyes and subsequently sighed out the smoke, where she no later felt the ease of the cannabis flow towards her head.

It was a busy day for Yunijn, to say the least, and it was an evident need for Yunjin to come home to a newly rolled blunt sitting beside her ashtray. During promotions, it was always hectic, and Yunjin knew she could never get herself through such a busy schedule without smoking at least three times a week.

She initially quit just before she debuted, seeing it as a distraction and could possibly ruin her chances at fulfilling her idealistic dreams. Nevertheless, maybe a distraction is just what she needed, so just when the promotions began for their first mini-album, Yunjin picked up her habits once again.

Her members knew about her imperfect ways of coping with her stress levels, and did their best to handle her situation to the best of their ability, whether it be spending their time with her in her dorm as a way of keeping her mind off of things such as weed and alcohol (but mostly weed). Kazuha even offered to get Yunjin special help from one of her family members, claiming they were an addiction therapist and helped immensely with drug users in the past.

“It’s not an addiction, it’s just a divertissement”, Yunjin would claim, half attempting to convince her member and half trying to convince herself.

Maybe it was a dependency, but Yunin couldn’t care less. As long as it wasn’t effecting her work during the day, she could get as high as she liked at night.

And that is what she was, as high as she liked herself to be.

“I’m going out”, Yunjin claimed as she stood up, not realizing that there was nobody surrounding her in the room, and she had just formally spoken to herself. The idol laughed out loud for her mistake before she slides her shirt on, that had previously occupied the floor, and makes her way to the living room, noticing her leader playing an intense game of monopoly with the youngest of the group.

“Hi”, Yunjin smiles widely, eyes crescent as she patted her leader on the head.

“Oh hello Ms. Huh, I smell a little something on you”, Chaewon smiles after she sniffs her members hand, smacking it away after doing so.

“I wonder what it is”, Yunjin smirks.

“Why don’t you go take a shower and clean yourself up”, Chaewon suggests as she rolls the two dice ahead of her onto the board, pumping her first in the air when she came to realize she had rolled doubles.

“Actually, I was going to go out”, Yunjin claims, already walking towards the front entry door.

“Um, to where? Dressed like that?”

“Can I come with?” Eunchae exhorts cheerfully.

“Just to walk around the city, and no you can not come, my little cutie”, Yunjin imitates a frowny face before throwing her car keys up in the air and reaching to grab them, however failing to do so as it comes crashing onto the hardwood floor.

“Whoops”, Yunjin laughs at her antics and picks them up, “tried to be cool there.”

Chaewon huffs air out of her nostrils, shaking her head and laughing at how stupid her member looked at the moment. Her eyes half open and her outfit seeming more for a club than a casual stroll through the city.

Yunjin already knew where she was going. She had the familiar directions set in her mind as she drove down the shaded road, adjacent to a local bar she frequented.

As Yunjin parked her car towards the back of the building, so no cameras could secretly take shots of where she’s been, she began to make her entrance through the back door.

“Yunjin, what’s up?” The owner happily greeted her at the sight of the idol, holding his hand out naturally for a fist bump.

“How’s it going Diego?" Yunjin spoke to the man, kindly returning his fist bump.

The idol took in the sight of the karaoke bar, neon lights illuminating the interior, decorations accompanying the graffitied walls, and the many booths aligned symmetrically, where she could faintly hear the sounds of voices inside the rooms.

Yunjin would often come here when dealing with her stress levels reaching to the point of anxiety. She found this place to be an escape, where the owner allowed her the same private booth each time, leaving the girl alone, free of charge, as she would keep herself entertained in the room with the sounds of her obnoxious singing and the horrific stench of her half-finished blunt.

“It is open?” Yunjin questions, silently imploring that nobody had selfishly taken the only thing that could keep her alive.

“You know it”, Diego smirks, leading the way to the booth just down the hall, searching his pockets for the keys before he later opens the wooden door for the girl.

“You’re the best, I love you”, Yunjin offers one more fist bump before Diego shuts the door and leaves the woman at her peace.

Admiring the sight of the familiar room, Yunjin sighs in relief to herself for finally arriving at her peace. She hadn’t came to this place in some time, probably about a month already, as she was too busy with her promotions for her groups newly released album, and found no time in her schedule to fit her own activities in.

Yunjin finds herself seated on the singular couch, hands reaching out as she skillfully rolled a new blunt for herself, not that she needed it at the moment given how high she already was, but depending on how long she stays at the place, she may need a backup.

“Perfect”, Yunjin smiles, where she later grabs the remote to the TV ahead of her and scrolls through the potential songs she could sing. She clicks her tongue with each lyric video she passes over, already haven done them during her previous visits, and throws her head back when she realizes that she’s too high to even come up with a song to sing, and all the songs appearing on the home screen she’s sang already.

Just when Yunjin is about to attempt to regain her focus on the music she wants to sing, trying desperately to reach her sober self so she could experience some fun for the night, her head raises at the sound of the wooden door to the booth opening. Just before she could yell at the person to get out, not wanting any fans, or random customers, to ruin her only time to herself, she catches a glimpse of the most alluring girl entering the room, where she noticed the girls eyes catch Yunjin's before she retraces her steps, backing up and muttering an apology, saying something along the lines of not knowing the booth was occupied.

Although Yunjin thought she would want any person to back off and leave her to be by herself, she didn’t want such a pretty girl (or maybe she was only average, and Yunjin was just high and horny) to slip through her fingers that quickly.

“Hey wait!” Yunjin announces, not giving her mind enough time to think through what she wanted to say.

She sees you turn around, hand still on the doorknob, and a hopeful look adorning your expression.

“Do you want to stay?” Yunjin questions, and if someone was to guess whether she was sober or high based on that sentence, they would unquestionably guess that she hadn’t touched a single ounce of cannabis in her life.

“Oh um”, you turn to look outside, seeing if the idol was really talking to you.

You knew who the girl was. You had seen her all over posters throughout your city, noticing her groups songs playing endlessly at specific places you would stop by at, whether it be a coffee shop, a thrift store, or whatever place you would occupy yourself with.

Huh Yunjin was insanely famous, especially where you are, and anyone could pick out the idols features in a room full of people. You had always been a fan of the groups music, having a few of their songs added to your playlist, but you didn’t know much about the members, or what their personalities were like.

Certainly, you had not expected one of the members to be alone inside the booth you had been recently going to, an escape for you to get your mind off of things such as uni or work.

“Are you ok with that?” You ask gently, not wanting to push any boundaries.

“I wouldn’t have asked if I wasn’t”, Yunjin states, and she knew she would have been much nicer, and a lot less rude, if she weren’t intoxicated at the moment. Unfortunately, her words flew off of her tongue before she could give herself the chance to determine if it was something alright to say.

“Oh”, you looked around once again, “sure.”

“Ok”, Yunjin smiles and pats the seat beside her, “I was trying to think of something to sing but I couldn’t, have anything in mind?”

You waltz your way over to the couch, comfortably taking the open spot next to the idol, immediately sensing the smell of weed infiltrate your nose, and you found yourself less surprised than you should have been, deeming it inevitable for an idol that endures so much pressure to naturally resort to drugs as a coping mechanism.

Yunjin noticed when the smell of weed came to you, and she picked up the blunt and brought it to you, offering you a hit wordlessly.

“Oh”, you waved your hands before her, “I don’t usually smoke.”

Yunjin keeps the blunt in front of you, as if she was refusing your decline.

“You don’t usually?” She asks.

You nod your head, furrowing your eyebrows at what she was trying to get at.

“So does that means you have before, if you don’t usually do it?”

She keeps the blunt in her grasp, ready for when you change your mind. Yunjin wanted you to be high with her. You were so ethereal, that being this high in front of you was utterly embarrassing to the idol, so if you were to smoke a little yourself, you would at least be in the same state as her.

“I guess yeah, I just don’t do it too often. Only at like parties or with friends. Or maybe for a special occasion”

Yunjin scoots closer to you, her leg now brushing against yours.

“Well, you’re with me... so you can say it’s a special occasion”, Yunjin holds the blunt now closer to you, hoping you give in and eventually take it for yourself.

“Why is that so special?” You question, possibly flirting if you were to look at it in such a way.

“Is it not special to be in a private room with the Huh Yunjin?”

Yunjin wants to crack you. She wants you to give in to her charm, fall to your knees and do anything she wants. If she were sober, she knows damn well she would have already flirted her way into pinning you up against the wall, hand half way up your thigh while the other was attached to your neck. But, being in this state, Yunjin needs to choose her words wisely, cautiously get you to the point of desperation.

“Why don’t you show me why it’s so special?” You lean closer, face inches apart from hers. You could tell she was as high as a kite, her eyes barely open as she glares at you with such desire. You could tell she was into you already, being the only reason behind your confidence. Or you possibly were overthinking it, and maybe she was just a natural flirter when she was on some sort of drug. Technically, you didn’t know if she was into you, but you chose to play the hand you were delt.

Yunjin, seeing how close your face was, takes it as a sign to do what she is about to do, and she leans in closer to you, her lips now inches away from yours, and just before she can connect them, you instantly pull away with a smirk, turning your attention to the tv.

“I know what song to do”, you state proudly, noticing in the corner of your eye Yunjin’s hand running through her hair in frustration and shame.

You stand up, typing in “Hypnosis”, a newly released song by Ive, and as you hit play, Yunjin tugs you back down onto the couch smoothly.

“At least take a hit first”, Yunjin brings the blunt up to her face, sealing the end with her lips, inhaling the smoke, and before you could protest, Yunjin grabs you by the back of your neck and pulls you in. You know what she is trying to do, and in all honesty, it aroused you, so you open your lips slightly and allow her to blow the smoke into your mouth, her top lip just barely grazing yours.

You felt a rush of excitement flow throughout your body, a response to not only the weed, but the proximity in which you were in with the idol. Her hand doesn’t leave the back of your neck, and as you release the smoke to float lifelessly in the air, your eyes open and connect with Yunjin’s.

“Another”, you state, and Yunjin wastes no time in bringing the blunt to her lips once again, this time taking an even longer hit than before.

You close your eyes and take in the smoke, the same elation from before redeeming itself once again. Your eyes begin to get heavy, settling to the same height as Yunjin’s, and you smile when the euphoria of the high knocks into your senses.

“Another.”

Yunjin does it once again, her hand never leaving the back of your neck, and after all the hits you’ve taken, the lust floating in the air finally catches onto you, and you feel yourself becoming desperate for the girl in front of you.

Yunjin can confidently say she has been desperate this entire time, throbbing as she blew the smoke into your lips and practically drooling in anticipation each time you made eye contact with you.

You were probably the prettiest, hottest, and sexiest girl she had ever seen, without a doubt, and even the weed can’t fog her mind into thinking so.

As Yunjin stares into your eyes, your expression matching hers, she feels as if she can’t hold it anymore, like she’s going to burst if she doesn’t have you at this exact moment.

The blunt is long forgotten on the table, knowingly being placed there, unbeknownst to you. However, you later find out the blunt is no longer in Yunjin’s hand when she brings her right hand up to your chin, her fingers holding the bottom while her thumb hovers over your lips.

You open your mouth slightly, seeing how close her thumb is, and Yunjin slowly brings her finger past your lips and into your mouth. You clasp your lips around her thumb, not breaking eye contact with the idol, and nor did she, staring into your eyes with evident and pure lust.

“Your the sexiest woman I’ve ever seen”, Yunjin mutters seductively.

“How sexy Yunjin?” You smirk after her thumb is released from your lips, now placed upon your cheek. You can guarantee yourself that if it wasn’t for the weed you had previously taken, you would have most definitely been on the ground by now, deceased by how flustered the woman made you.

Yunjin rubs the back of your neck with her other hand, “You want to know?”

“Tell me”, you respond, your attention now placed on Yunjin’s lips, as was hers.

“You’re so sexy, that all I’ve been able to think about the whole time you've been here, was how bad I need to be between your legs.”

If you weren’t already an aroused mess, that comment completely guaranteed how bad you needed this woman. How bad you wanted to taste her lips, and hear her speak to you so sexily while she was under you.

“All I can think about right now is how much I want to taste your lips”, you respond, and that’s what ignites Yunjin.

The idol leans in towards your lips, slowly connecting them to hers, smirking as she hears you moan into the kiss, anticipating for it to happen already. You grab onto her waist, opening your mouth to give her more access before she skillfully slips her tongue past your lips. You do the same, tongue brushing against hers as your hands roam her revealed waist.

Yunjin pulls you onto her lap, allowing you to straddle her while she brings one hand on your waist, guiding you to begin grinding on her. You do just that, allowing another moan to flow easily off your tongue when her lips detach from yours and move to your neck, Yunjin’s tongue running up and down your newly formed hickeys.

The music in the background has already shuffled to a few new songs, and you notice the one that began playing was Yunjin’s very own song, “Unforgiven”.

You giggle when you realize what was playing, and Yunjin breaks away from your neck to see what you were laughing at, instantly noticing the background music.

“You know this song?” You ask sarcastically, and Yunjin pecks your lips before saying she might know a little of it.

You laugh seeing Yunjin’s hurt expression when you climb off of her lap, looking as if she were a boy who’s balls had just been left blue. You reach across the table ahead of you and grab one of the microphones, putting it up to your swollen lips before you begin to obnoxiously sing along with the vocals originating from the tv.

“If you sing this song with me I’ll let you take me home”, you state with a sly wink, already walking over to her to hand her the disregarded microphone.

Yunjin roles her eyes, smiling shyly at how cute you were before she takes the microphone out of your hand, walking towards your figure, wrapping one arm around you as she sings her part of the song.

The two of you continue to sing the rest of the song, and a few more that follow along after it, and Yunjin had so much fun she almost forgot the time, and the gift of being able to take you home.

“Shit”, Yunjin states, and she releases herself from your hold before rushing over to her phone, hoping the time wouldn’t completely blow her away.

“Fuck Chaewon’s going to kill me!” Yunjin shouts, setting aside the sweaty microphone and swiftly throwing her jacket on.

“We have to go”, Yunjin states in a hurry, and your heart rather flutters at the thought of her truly taking you to her place, giving you the time of your life.

You grab your things from the couch with Yunjin still tugging on your hand, and the two of you erupt into a fit of laughter as you rush out of the building, hands still intertwining while you make your way into the car.

“My lady”, Yunjin jokes, holding the car door open for you with her arm extending out in one swift motion.

You giggle at her silly manner, leaning towards her and pecking the idols lips before you take your seat in her car.

While Yunjin feels the rush of heat rise to her cheeks, she shakes her head at the thought of how lucky she was to find a girl like you at such an unexpected time.

And the two of you still have the whole night ahead of you.

DO NOT DRIVE UNDER THE INFLUENCE!!

Decided to take a break from the Karina series and write something for my girl Jen. I'm literally in love with her like it's not funny she's my girlfriend everyone else is delusional

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he-goes-down · 6 months

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Idk if u do requests but can u do a rly good slash angst where maybe he says smth hiiigh n they get into argument and then make up sex

I DO REQUESTS DW BOOKIE

ILL TRY MY BEST I HAVENT DONE ANGST IN AGES

This is absolute dookie i apologize you can shoot me in the face with a bazooka if you wish

Masterlist

Love Lies

Pairing: Slash x reader

Warnings: smut, fingering, unprotected p in v and angst , argument, fighting, crying and mention of addiction

Second Person POV:

It had been weeks since you and Slash actually had a normal conversation or even done couple things. Since the realise of the album and the money racked in, he spent the money on drugs on booze and to town everyday, coming back home late and completely out of it. You were home alone most of the time, your quality time was gone. Any time together was gone.

It was 1 am. Again. You lied in bed, rubbing your fingers together. Nervousness. You tried to give him another chance and wait for him to return. You had enough of this waiting and stressing. You turned off the bedside light and turned on your side holding the covers with irritation.

3 am rolls around, you were in a sleeping, and anxious state. But it was finally getting to you being so tired that you could drift to sleep. As you drifted Slash had came in, drunk. Falling onto the bed, groaning and mumbling. You didn’t realise he was there until the bed creaked and he slumped an arm over your waist and tried pulling you closer. You groaned in annoyance and pushed his arm off you, shifting closer to the edge of the bed. He was confused, that drunken confusion turned into drunken anger. “Hey!” He shouted with a groggy groan. He tried to out his arms around you again but you pushed him off again with a-lot more irritation. “What the fuck is the problem?” He yelled. You quickly turned on the light next to your bed side and sat up to look at him. “Are you serious?” You asked with disgust. “The problem is you coming home every night at 3 am. Saul I don’t even see you during the day! At all!” You told him. Calling him Saul drove a stake through his heart and sobered him up real fast, you’d never call him that, and now he could see you were dead serious and angry. “But-…” “But fucking what? Hm? You need to be drinking so much? You need to be around all those girls 24/7? What happened to ‘your girl’?” You shut him up. He always called you his girl and showed you off to everyone he knew. But now it was like you were invisible and forgotten. “I’m… Sorry.” He sputtered. You just rolled your eyes and groaned a ‘mhm’. You got out of the bed, “I’m going to sleep on the couch. Night.” You said as you walked to the door. Slash speed and scrambled off the bed.

“No baby please…” He said as he grabbed you arm pulling you to stay. You tried to get your arm away from his grasp but he just didn’t let go. “Please.” He begged. Your eyes went from his hand that held you to his eyes. Sparkling with tears that were forming, his face laced with worry. “ I don’t want to hear it.” You said. But you wanted to, you wanted him to say sorry and everything go back to normal. But how would you know if it will turn back. “Please baby, I’m sorry.” He pleaded. Tears now falling down his cheeks. God you couldn’t do this when he cried. Fuck it broke you. You stopped struggling under his grasped and gave him a sincere look. You went to hug him and he hugged you back holding you tight. Crying into your shoulder. “I’m so sorry, I don’t want you to leave me.” He sobbed. You were about to cry as-well, but still so much rage was filled in you. “I don’t want too either.” You told him. Thoughts were still spinning in your head as to if he’ll change. But you gave him that chance. “I love you honey.” You kissed his cheek getting out of the hug. You then told him how you still needed to cool down and that he needed to start doing something about his drinking and partying problems. You were going to walk out if the bedroom again, but Slash fell to his knees and began. “Baby please, I need you with me now.” He said, his eyes still watery.

“I’ll make it up to you, right now.” He said as he pleaded. You looked at him quizzically. “I’ll help you…” He began to speak again. His hands now on your legs trailing your thighs. “Cool down.” He finished and he began kissing your bare inner thighs and then your clothed area. You whined, you missed the feeling of him pleasing you. This was definitely making up for it. He looked up at you, his fingers moving away the fabric of your short pyjama pants, and feeling your already wet cunt. “Oh god fuck.” You moaned as he slowly entered your pussy with his two thick fingers. Stretching you out as he watched your head fling back with lust. He began to pump in and out of you. Curling his fingers and pressing against your sweet spot, making your stomach turn and legs buckled. He smirked as he watched you moan his name. He pulled his fingers out of you, making you whine, and pushed you onto the bed. Spreading your legs and pulling your pants down with one swift move. Then putting your legs over his shoulders and planting his face onto your pussy. Kissing and licking your pussy. “Fuck-… Slash…” you moaned and tangled your fingers in his hair. Slash sucked on your clit as he put his fingers back into you. Finger fucking you whilst your wet coated his fingers and dripped down his big hand. You clenched around his fingers as his tongue flicked your clit, making you writhe under him as the burning feeling in the pit of your stomach grew stronger. “Oh fuck!” Your head flew back onto the bed as you came all over his fingers and moaned curses. He pulled out his dripping fingers and licked them, getting every last drop of you in his mouth. You sighed as he now crawled on top of you, kissing your passionately. Tasting yourself as his tongue found his way into your mouth. His hips grinding against yours, feeling his big hard on against your bare cunt. “Slash… please…” you begged against his mouth. Now it was your turn to plead for him. “What is it baby?” He asked as his kiss went to attack you neck. “Fuck me.” You said. You hadn’t had his dick in you in ages and your body was begging for him. “Anything you say doll.” He told you. Taking off his clothes and tossing it to the floor before positioning himself at your aching pussy. His dick was bigger than you had remembered, you whimpered at the sight of it. He slowly penetrating you and stretching your pussy out even more. “Fuck, I love you…” he groaned as you clenched tightly around him. His head slumping in the crook of your neck. His hands held your legs pushing it back into you to get the right angle to pound into you. You moaned as he bottomed out. He pulled out swiftly and pushed back into you, hips snapping and a loud slap echoed. You screamed as he perfectly hit your g spot, making you cry with pleasure. He groaned with each thrust into you, god he could cry again, just thinking that he would have lost this from his recklessness, how could he have ever gave you up. You were so perfect in his mind. You were his and he was showing the neighbours just how much you belonged to him. You moaned loudly with each deep and fast thrust. His cock twitching inside of you as he was reaching his end. “God baby, I’m gonna cum.” He sighed, you were too, he felt you clench hard around him as his thrusts got sloppy and you both came at the same time. You coating his dick with your slick and him coating your walls with his cum.

“I’m so sorry honey, I love you so much.”

“I forgive you baby.”

A/n: THIS IS MY WORST WORK EVER IM SO SO SORRY I DONT KNOW HOW TO MAKE IT BETTER 🙁 You can yell at me all you want I apologise 🤞

#guns n roses #izzy stradlin #slash #axl rose #duff mckagan #steven adler #slash gnr #duff gnr #izzy gnr #axl gnr #steven gnr #slash x reader #slash smut

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gtgbabie0 · 1 year

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hey i love your work and i was drawing our blonde king leon and i was hoping for a bit where he finds you singing his fav or your fav song

again i love your work and i really need this bc i had a bad day in school so far us gothic girls cant have a peaceful day in school no more

- Leon Kennedy x reader

I’m very sorry to hear that my love hope you enjoy <3

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Sunday’s were always peaceful, the type of days where you didn’t have to worry about anything, but then again Leon didn’t really allow you to worry ever, always reassuring you in any way he could, perhaps that’s why he splits the chores with you, he washes the dishes while you put away the laundry.

Leon loves helping you, loves feeling needed it makes him feel human, makes him feel normal.

He walks up the stairs after cleaning up the small pile of dishes from dinner, stopping about mid-way when he hears you humming a very familiar tune, he smiles as you start to mumble the lyrics trying to figure out how the song goes and he has to stifle a laugh behind his hand when he hears you start singing out the lyrics, you're completely in a world of your own.

He stands behind the bedroom door listening to you with a loving smile, still trying to suppress his laughter and he doesn't expect you to open the door so suddenly, jumping a little as a scream bellows out your mouth, you drop the laundry basket on the floor, hand resting on your chest as you try and regain your breathing.

“Fuck- Leon” you gasp feeling a little flushed with embarrassment, “Erm— how much of that did you hear?” You ask clearing your throat.

He laughs a little, “Almost the whole song sweetheart” he chuckles, and you go to throw one of the pillows at him but he catches it, obviously, with a smug grin on his face, “Well I didn’t say it was bad, I was actually enjoying the show” he chuckles and you groan out in embarrassment.

You cover your hands with your face and feel his fingers wrap around your wrist bringing them down, “You sound like an angel” he says and you scoff rolling your eyes, he goes to lean down trying, to steal a kiss from you but you’re quick to doge him, enjoying the playful offense that paints his face.

“Don’t do that— it's not my fault you got caught singing away in a world of your own” he chuckles his arms wrapping around you as he brings you closer into his arms, and you eventually cave in, “Think you should release an album” he whispers with a teasing tone, knowing he’s dancing on a dangerous line, and you use all your force to try and push him away but your attempts are fruitless as he holds you tighter.

"You're being mean" you mumble against his chest, and you can feel the vibrations of his pitiful laughter, his big hands rubbing the expanse of your back, "It's a good song- and it's your fault it's stuck in my head," you say, thinking back to the countless times Leon had played the almost addicting tune.

He hums in agreement, "Forgive me? he asks trying to look at you, he can see the teasing smirk that dances on your lips.

"Make it up to me," you say with a soft giggle, and he looks at you with a scoff, rolling his eyes.

"Oh yeah, how?" he asks, hands against your hips.

"Finish doing the laundry" you reply and he can't fight the smile that plays across his lips, and he knows he'd do anything for you if you asked, that's why he says yes, and you watch as he folds the clean clothes humming the familiar tune.

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bettyshoweduptotheparty · 8 months

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1989 - The story of two muses

Back to my first and forever love – Lyric analysis!

1989 is very close to my heart, and I have always found it noticeable that this album has quite a contrast between love songs about a very up and down/anxiety filled relationship on one hand, and the very raw and heartfelt romance as portrayed in ‘This Love’ and YAIL on the other.

And the 5 new vault songs we have on Taylor’s version now have added quite a bit of detail to the picture that emerges and I’m more convinced than ever that there are two distinct relationships/muses being described and I fancied doing a deep dive into how each one is described in the music and how the themes connect to other songs. (And it may even explain the beach theme 😉)

Ok, so, I have actually sorted every song from 1989 that is about a romantic relationship, including the 5 new vault tracks, into this scheme (even though I found some really hard!)

Muse 1 – “The heartbreaker” This relationship is described as very up and down, very anxiety-driven, something you can’t walk away from like an addiction, “against your better knowledge but can’t help myself” kind of way. Taylor has described this person as ‘the one that might one day interrupt your wedding, because you’re never truly over’. Break up: ‘you left me’.

Muse 2 – “The one that came back” While this relationship is by no means described as perfect, it has a very different tone to it. It’s very much based in secure feelings, ‘us against the world’, any difficulty faced is worth it. Break up: ‘had to let it go’. And the person came back when it counted.

(Sorry about the pictures, I couldn't fit a table in any other way)

I am really impressed with how much just five new songs have furthered the story of these two relationships and I (personally) love how much this is filling in the blanks and makes everything make so much more sense. 'You can hear it in the silence' vs 'Now your silence has me screaming' almost killed me, honestly. She really found the love that needs no words. 🥰 And the direct contrast of the metaphors, one relationship as an addiction with very high highs and very low lows, and the other as the calm waves on the shore that continually come in and out with the tide, is just so masterfully done, I love it. And I think given the beach theme of the 1989 TV covers, we can guess which of the muses is being honoured in this re-branding.

Lyrical connections to later albums

Perhaps not surprisingly, these two muses and their lyrical themes show up again in Taylor’s music in later albums. The connection I’ve already seen a lot of people make is the playing cards reference from Say Don’t Go (‘I’m trying to see the cards that you won’t show’) linking to Cornelia Street (‘back when we were card sharks, playing games’). And I love how this tells the story of someone whose previous relationship impacts how they react in a new relationship. Because the person in Say Don’t Go really did lead her on and played her and then left, whereas the Cornelia Street muse didn’t but Taylor thought as much based on her previous experience (‘I THOUGHT you were leading me on…but then you called, showed your hand…’).

Another parallel to Lover songs is the ‘light in the dark’ theme that starts in This Love with “lantern burning/ flickered in my mind for only you”, which feels very similar to “chandelier still flickering here” from Death by A Thousand Cuts. This relationship/lover is the light that perseveres in the dark, even if it’s just flickering, it never goes out. It lights up the darkness (‘glowing in the dark’), whereas the other relationship is a “shot in the darkest dark”. We obviously get a whole lot more songs in later albums that reference love as light in the darkness, most prominently in Daylight, the Lover album closer. But more subtly, I also think that “Takin’ your time in the tangerine neon light” from Slut, and “hang your head low in the glow of the vending machine” from Cruel Summer follow that same pattern. Something that illuminates the darkness. And just btw, Slut and Cruel Summer give me a very similar vibe in terms of different takes on the same situation…anyone else get that? But one last, maybe more subjective, connection is the line “I’ll pay the price, you won’t”. Which everyone immediately took as a comment on double standards between men and women, but I think it could also be interpreted to mean ‘I’ll happily pay the price and take the hit, so you don’t have to’, if you interpret the song to be about dating a man in public to keep a female partner out of the public eye. With that in mind, the line becomes very reminiscent of ‘I can never give you peace’ from folklore, both expressing that Taylor wants to shield her lover from the media scrutiny that comes with dating her.

Suburban Legends alone has so many links to later songs that I had to give it its own paragraph. The chorus ‘I didn’t come here to make friends’ is so ‘I don’t want you like a best friend’ coded, and ‘We were born to be suburban legends’ gives me big reputation/big conversation vibes. Other people have already pointed out that ‘flushed with the currency of cool’ draws links to Gold Rush and Gorgeous (‘You’re so cool it makes me hate you so much’) and ‘so magnetic it’s almost obnoxious’ is very similar to ‘magnetic force of a man’ from Lover. All painting the picture of a person who is so cool and alluring that they feel almost unattainable. The whole premise of the song being that the narrator didn’t come to make friends, but instead is on a mission to get what they want, feels very Mastermind to me. The background music over the outro confirms that, as it’s the same production as Mastermind (I call it ‘game show music’ 😊) and the lyrics saying that the muse now doesn’t knock anymore, suggests to me that maybe the masterplan has worked. Lastly, the conclusion of the song being ‘my life is ruined/I always knew it’ is a different way of saying I’ll happily ruin myself for you, as in ‘for you I’d ruin myself a million little times’ from Illicit Affairs.

We don’t get nearly as many references to the first muse’s themes in later music, but ‘fell from the pedestal, right down the rabbit hole” from Long Story Short is a nice drawback to the wonderland theme. Bottom line though, ‘It was the wrong guy…’.

And there we have it, the story of the two muses of 1989. If anybody here is even remotely as excited by lyrical analysis as I am, this one is for you, and feel free to have a friendly chat in the comments if I’ve missed anything!

#lyric analysis #taylor swift 1989 #1989 taylor's version #the story of two muses #kaylor #swiftgron

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her-power · 6 months

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Last Chance to Dance (Rockstar! e.m. x fem reader)

🚨🛑🔞18+++ MINORS DNI - YOU WILL BLOCKED🚨🛑🔞 TRIGGER/CONTENT WARNING (For entire series): Rockstar! Addict! Sweet! Mean! Eddie, smut, unprotected p+v, fluff, fingering (f receiving), masturbation, oral (m+f receiving), heavy drug use, descriptions of IV drug use, swearing, talks of anxiety, panic disorder, mental illness, talks of suicide

Summary: Modern Eddie + reader are early 30s. Eddie is the famous lead singer/guitarist of Corroded Coffin, who has gotten himself into legal trouble due to his antics and drug use. Eddie broke your heart many years ago and he receives a letter from you asking to meet to talk about what happened between you two so long ago. Secrets are talked about, mental walls are built and broken down. Most of this series will be in Eddie's POV. (I will also be putting song inspirations on each part 🤍)

Word Count: 5k

A/N: There will be a LOT of mentions of heavy drug use in this series. This series DOES NOT glorify the use of drugs. It is not cool, it is not fun, it is something that destroys people and everyone around them. I have loved and lost people I know to drug and alcohol use, a lot of what you read here is my own personal experience from what I have seen with my own eyes. I hope this series will spread awareness and will give anyone and everyone who reads this hope. If you or anyone you know is struggling with addiction, please know you are not alone, there is help out there.

The silence is almost deafening as I sit there in my dimly lit office, tapping my finger against the arm of the chair; the metal of my ring clinking as I stare at my therapist, Dr. Catherine Ryan, in front of me. She had a kind smile, but I wasn’t in the mood to talk today.

“What’s bothering you?” She asks gently.

I gaze at her, gnawing on the inside of my cheek. A stupid habit I formed when I stopped using six months ago.

Let’s see, I’m tired of the noise inside my head that is constantly reminding me what a piece of shit I am. I’m lucky that my bandmates don’t hate my guts for the shit I put them through on tour when I was needle deep in a heroin fog and couldn’t remember the lyrics to a fucking song I wrote. My music career is only surviving because the world thinks we’re on a hiatus to write our next album when I actually did a stint in rehab and have court ordered mandatory therapy once a week. The only way I can have therapy is if she comes to my escape cabin in upstate New York and escorted in and out by a security guard.

Oh, I also can’t stop thinking of you, the one whose heart I broke fifteen years ago back in Hawkins, Indiana because I was too scared to love or be loved. The same you who mailed me a letter that I received at my P.O. Box in Boston three days ago, that I haven’t opened yet and sits in my back pocket folded up, because I’m too much of a pussy to see what you have to say.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” I tell her, taking a cigarette out of my pocket. I let the smoke fill my lungs and exhale the smoke away from her.

“What do you want to talk about?” She asks, crossing her legs. I stare at her long legs, and my eyes scan up her body. She was curvy and thick, with a perfect set of tits and stunning green eyes. I almost laugh, if a beautiful woman like her was in my house six months ago, it wouldn’t take long before I’d have her bent over the back of my couch, fucking her until she couldn’t take it anymore. But I couldn’t do that anymore. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes, or whatever the fuck the saying is.

“Eddie, this is mandatory therapy. I can’t help you if you’re not willing to talk. We’ve had four sessions so far, and the only thing we have talked about is your drug habit.” She seemed annoyed, and I couldn’t blame her.

“I’m only here because of my drug habit.”

“Is that all?”

She was testing me, and I smile at her, leaning my elbows against my knees. “You know, I bet you are really good at helping people and are able to get your patients to sit here and cry about their shitty lives or whatever it is people tell you. But I hate to break it to you, sweetheart, you’re not gonna get it from me.”

“You keep up a guard. Defense mechanism, it’s common in people who have been hurt before.” She says, scribbling a note down.

I narrow my eyes. “I sense judgment in your tone, and I’m not sure I care for it.”

“It’s not judgement, Eddie. It’s an observation. I’m observing you.”

I sit back against my chair and scoff, lighting up another cigarette with the ember of the one I just had. I inhale deeply. “I think our session should be cut early today.”

She closes her notebook and gives you a kind smile. “If that’s what you want.”

“I do.” I tell her.

I get up from my seat as she stands, walking her to the door where the security guard waited outside. I may be an asshole, but I know how to be a gentleman. Chivalry isn’t dead when your name is Eddie Munson. She nods at me as she leaves, handing me her card for the time of the next session for next week and I close the door behind her. I stub out the cigarette in the ashtray and let out a deep sigh. I plop myself on the couch, hearing the crinkle of the letter in my back pocket and I lift my hips to pull it out. I look at the neat print on the front; seeing your handwriting brought back so many memories that I had forgotten about.

Why would you send me a letter? Is it just to tell me how happy you’ve been these last fifteen years since I’ve been gone, that you’re married with children, thriving in your thirties?

“Well, the only way to know is if you open the letter, dipshit.” I mutter to myself. I groan, shaking my head as I rip the letter open and unfold it. It was only two pages, but you had written a lot.

Hey, You’re a tough guy to find, being famous and all. I didn’t think this P.O. Box was real at first, but I ended up tracking down Gareth and he told me it was real. I can’t believe he still has the phone number he’s had since high school. I don’t know why I’m writing you a letter, I guess I could’ve just texted you, he did give me your number, but I wanted this to feel more personal. Like when I’d write you those stupid folded notes in class. I know it’s been a long time, and you’re probably thinking I’m absolutely insane, but I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you lately. There are so many things that I wanna say to you. There are so many things that were left unsaid, and I guess lately it’s been bothering me. You’re probably not even going to get this, so I don’t even know why I’m continuing to write. I don’t want you to think that I hated you or have hated you this whole time. It would be easier to hate you, believe me, I’ve tried but I physically cannot have that kind of power over me. I’m proud of you, Eddie. You worked so hard to get to where you are, and you made your dreams come true. I knew you could. I want to tell you I’m proud of you in person; to let you know that what happened in the past stays there and we can both move forward in a way. I mean, I just told you now. I know you’re really busy and I feel stupid now. But I will be in Boston in December, the week of the 18th while my aunt is down in Florida for the week, house sitting. Gareth had mentioned you and the band were taking a hiatus to focus on the writing and doing some self reflecting. I would love to see you, especially with the holiday season.

It’s not every day you get to see the boy you’ve known since diapers be on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine, selling out stadiums.

Please don’t feel obligated, though.

I suddenly forgot how to swallow, and I almost choke on my own saliva. You had written your phone number on the bottom of the last page. I swing my legs onto the floor, taking my phone off the coffee table. I scroll to my contact list, and add your name, along with your phone number.

I pause, my hands begin to shake, and I inhale deeply.

“No no no, not now, not now.” Grimacing, I sit back on couch, closing my eyes as my stomach turns to knots and my chest feels like it was going to explode. I can feel the sweat bead at the back of my neck as the panic attack feels like it’s choking me out and I groan. I go into the drawer of the coffee table, pulling out the lorazepam pill bottle, taking a minute to open the cap because my hands were so sweaty. I throw the pill in my mouth, swallowing it dry and breathe in through my nose.

This happens more often now, especially since being off dope, I had to learn how to deal with them like a normal thirty-four-year-old man. It took a lot of convincing for my doctors to give me the lorazepam, but apparently threatening to go and take a hot shot of heroin to kill myself was convincing enough for them to give me the lowest dose of the stupid pill.

I close my eyes. Thinking back to how I got here; how I could’ve lost everything because of my own stupidity, because of my inability to slow down, because I took sex, drugs, rock and roll too literally. All because I refuse to let love into my soul and hold on tight.

One year earlier

The dressing room walls echo with the moans of myself and...I don’t even remember her name. Sarah? Shelly? It doesn’t even matter. I only see the back of her head anyway; she was very blonde. I hold onto her hips tightly, slamming my cock in and out of her. She was screaming like a porn star, and I’m pretty sure she was putting on a show.

“Oooooh, just like that baby. Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me. Oh goddd, you’re so fucking good.” She moans and I roll my eyes, slamming into her harder just to get her to shut up. I reach over to the coffee table to grab my tiny vile of cocaine, I pop open the cap, and pull out of her for a moment. She was still rolling her hips as I sprinkle the drugs onto her ass.

“Stop fucking moving.” I tell her, grabbing the plastic straw and snorting back the drugs into my airways. She moans again when she hears me snort another line off her, and I slam myself back into her. My head falls back in pleasure, the effects of the cocaine causing every single part of my body to pulsate, and I can feel my orgasm approaching.

“Fuuuuck.” I moan, my rhythm getting sloppy, and she groans.

“Cum inside me baby, cum inside me.” She moans and I immediately feel myself go soft. Fuck this. I stop moving and slide myself out of her, she turns to look at me, her mouth opened in a gasp. “Why did you stop?”

I take a cigarette out of my pack and light it. “Get out.”

“What?” She snaps.

“Get your shit and get the fuck out of my dressing room. Telling me to cum inside you, I know what you’re doing.” I take her dress off the floor and throw it at her. Her eyes narrow and she gets up from the couch, throwing the dress over her head.

“You weren’t even that good, fucking junkie!” She yells at me, and I can’t help the laugh that escapes my lungs. She looked like a cartoon character. Her eyes wild, her hair a wild mess, her fake tits bouncing as she storms out of the room. I lean back on the couch, a little mad that I didn’t cum, but whatever, that’s what my hand is for. I don’t know why I invite these women back to my dressing room after every show. Most of the time, these women don’t even know the words to our songs, they just want to be able to tell their friends they fucked a rockstar. I sigh, opening the vile and do another bump. I’m one hundred percent in love with heroin, but I’m an addict. Cocaine just takes the edge off when I need it to. I tie my hair back in a low bun, blowing my bangs out of my face. I stand, catching a glimpse of myself in the fluorescent lit vanity mirror. The lighting made me look terrible; I was thinner than normal. The ram skull tattoo across my abdomen looked discolored, but I know it was just the way the light was hitting it. I was losing muscle mass in both of my arms, but since tattoo sleeves covered both my arms, no one could notice. No one knew how bad it was getting with the dope; I honestly preferred to suffer in silence about it, but I knew they noticed. I would feel Gareth’s eyes burn into the back of my skull whenever I would escape to go into a bathroom, or immediately go into my hotel room to get started on my new supply. I felt terrible keeping it from him, he was my brother, my bandmate, but he didn’t need to worry. I was fine, at least that’s what I told myself.

We had awhile before we hit the next city of the tour. The tour bus felt too crowded, too stuffy. We all decided it would make sense to hide out in a hotel for a few days before we got to Atlanta. I requested my own room of course, the supply I just bought felt like it was burning a hole in my pocket. Isn’t that what they say about money?

Money meant nothing to me; if I lost it all tomorrow, I wouldn’t care. That’s the beauty of this drug, you don’t have a care in the world once that shot courses through your veins.

I lock the door to my room after saying goodnight and head into the bathroom. I pull my shirt over my head and undo the belt from my jeans. I set everything up on the table: fresh needle, the drugs, and water bottle cap. It doesn’t take long for me to pull the dope into the syringe, at this point it’s like riding a bike for me. I sit on the floor against the bathtub, I wrap the belt around my left arm, pulling it tight with my teeth and clench my fist. I see the most perfect vein pop up in the bend of my arm; I have to be careful though, I can’t go to the same spot twice or else I’ll blow up my veins and then more people will notice. I’ve always hated needles, isn’t that ironic? I’m thinking that as the tip of it pinches my skin and my thumb is on the trigger, slowly pushing it down.

“A spoon full of sugar makes the medicine go down…” I sing softly, feeling the sweet burn of the heroin flow like a tsunami in my veins. My eyes flutter close as the most beautiful feeling overcomes me; my head lulls back against the porcelain and I feel a smile grace my lips.

A loud knock at my door startles me out of my high, and I’m pissed.

“Hang on a second.” I mutter and awkwardly pull myself up, undoing the belt from my arm. I place the cap on the needle and toss it behind the doors under the sink.

Knock knock knock knock knock

I toss my sweatshirt over my head, putting a cigarette to my lips. “Yeah, I hear you! Fuck, I’m coming.”

I open the door to find Gareth standing there with his arms crossed, I light the cigarette and wave my hand, tilting my head at him. “Yeah?”

“What are you doing?” He asks me.

“What do you mean what am I doing? I’m not doing anything.” I inhale on the cigarette, and he continues to stare at me. If there was a God, I thank him for giving me brown eyes, because at least he wouldn’t be able to see how my pupils look like pinholes. “Do you wanna come in?”

I move to the side, and he walks by me, I shut the door, locking it.

“Do you want a beer or anything?” I ask him, going into the mini fridge, pulling out two, I could feel myself about to nod, but I quickly stand up, clearing my throat so I can at least look like I’m not fucked up.

“No, I’m fine.” His eyes scan every inch of my room, the floor where my clothes were, Sweetheart laying on the foot of my bed. My necklace I always wore with the red guitar pick laid on the nightstand by the bed. I always take it off before I shoot up, I don’t know why, I think something is going to happen to it if I don’t, it means a lot to me. His eyes fix on my belt on the bathroom floor, he doesn’t say anything, but I know what he’s thinking.

“Gareth, if you got something to say, man, just say it.” I tell him, leaning against the small table, I ash my cigarette into a coca cola can.

He turns to me; he was still blessed with a baby face that I remember from school. “How bad is it getting?” He almost whispers.

“How bad is what getting?”

“The drugs, man. Come on dude, I know you’re not stupid.” He sits across from me on the foot of the bed, gently moving Sweetheart over.

I sigh. “Gareth, I’m fine. It’s not getting bad.”

He puts his head down, shaking his head. “Don’t fucking bull shit me, Eddie. I’ve known you for almost two decades. Have you even looked at yourself lately?”

I close my eyes, feeling a wave of anxiety hit my lower gut, and I force it to go away by not caring. “Don’t worry about me, man. I’m serious.”

“Of course, I’m gonna fucking worry!” He stands up, his face full of rage. “If you fuck up this tour, our entire music career is in the gutter! How many times have I had to bail you out when you’ve been coming down from a cocaine binge and are late to rehearsal? How many goddamn times have I had to convince cops not to arrest you when you’re inebriated beyond belief. It’s getting fucking old, man.” He towers over my 6-foot frame and again, I start laughing.

His eyes widen. “Are you seriously laughing right now?

“Yeah.” I chuckle. “I am, because it’s funny how you think I’m gonna be the one who’s gonna fuck up this tour. I built this band from the ground up, nothing and no one is gonna fuck that up.”

“Oh fuck you, dude!” He yells at me. “You built this? What happened to you saying this entire band was built on friendship, loyalty and fucking friends who play nerdy games? What happened to that Eddie?”

“Dead.” I give him a sideways smile. “Dead dead dead.”

He looks at me incredulous. “Wow. You’re an actual nightmare.”

“You’re the one who decided to knock on my door.” I place the cigarette in the can, hearing it sizzle out. I cross my arms over my chest, already itching for another shot. “Anything else?”

He scoffs, walking towards the door and stepping out. “No. Have a good night, Eddie.”

“Yeah, you too!” I scream at his back as I shut the door, locking all the locks and kicking the bottom of it. Suddenly, the chair near the table gets a boot from me, followed by the lamp, the paintings on the walls. I smash the beer bottles against the windows, and when I’m finally spent, I collapse on the bathroom floor, digging out the needle. I’ll leave the hotel a couple hundred dollars to pay for whatever I damaged; I’ll hopefully remember to clean up tomorrow.

I’m pretty sure I put too much in it this time, because I’m riding something wild right now. My eyes are half lidded, my breathing is slow but it’s such a peaceful feeling.

“Makes the medicine go down…medicine go down…”

The beginning of that year was when shit started going downhill fast for me. Once I had gotten my panic attack under control, and I felt calmer, I sent you a text message, realizing that tomorrow was the 18th. I typed up, deleted, typed up, deleted, about six different times before finally sending you: Hey stranger, it’s Eddie. Pretty wild to hear from you. I’m currently up in my cabin in upstate NY, but if you are gonna be in Boston. I can make the trip. It would actually be awesome to see you. Hope you are well.

I forgot how nervous you made me, even back then. You were such a kind, beautiful soul, who loved me and took care of me when I didn’t deserve it. I was so nervous all the time because I really loved you too, but I couldn’t…wouldn’t let myself feel it. You were the only woman in my life that knew me, and actually saw me. You were my best friend, always my partner in group activities in elementary school. It was us against the world the minute I kissed you for the first time when we were eighteen, and then it ended with me, burying my head in the sand, because I’m a fucking idiot.

My phone dings and I see your name pop up. Hey!!! Wow, your own cabin huh? Are you a mountain man or something this winter season? I’m sorry if my letter was all over the place, I really should’ve just texted you but, whatever. Here we are now. Yes! Let’s meet, I can give you a spot to meet for coffee? Unless you just want my aunt’s address, I don’t know how Boston is when it comes to famous people.

I type up a message: Boston is one of those cities that is wild to play on stage in front of, but the people don’t give a fuck if you’re famous. Which is why I bought a condo there, I can live out some downtime in peace. Coffee sounds great. Just let me know a time when you are settled.

You quickly respond: Ha! Boston is pretty rad. I’m already here, I got here a day early. I know you got a pretty long drive so we can meet the day after tomorrow if you’d like? Say around 10?

I type up that that time and date worked for me and begin packing a small suitcase to take with me on the trip.

I honestly felt like I was dreaming all this; I get sober, you, a woman that was literally the one that got away because of my own fucking deep-rooted issues, comes back into my life and wants to see me? I feel like I’m living the Notebook. Except, the rated R version where Ryan Gosling is an ex-junkie, who doesn’t build houses, or used to blow cocaine off a woman’s asshole.

I groan, I already know I’m gonna fuck this up again.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The coffee shop you chose was a place I’ve never been before, it seemed newer, and no one batted an eye when I walked in. I take off my sunglasses and scan the place. It was quaint, quiet, with rustic undertones but mostly modern.

“Eddie?”

My eyes immediately fix on you, sitting in the back booth by a small window, and I feel my heart flutter down to my stomach. God, you were stunning. Your eyes still shone that sparkle in them, your smile was just as adorable as I remembered, especially the dimples in your cheeks. I whisper your name and find myself quickly walking towards you. You wrap your arms around my shoulders, and I let out a deep sigh, almost lifting you off your feet, as I hug the curves of your waist, burying my face into your shoulder. We stay like that for a while, you giggle into my chest, telling me you couldn’t believe it was me and that I was here. I didn’t want to let go, but I knew I had to. We pull away and you are still smiling, looking into my eyes, you lift your hand to gently curl your fingers into my hair and I smile at you.

“I love that you still kept this hair.” You say, shaking your head, looking like you’re still trying to process that I’m standing in front of you.

I gently cup your face, swallowing hard, studying you. You turn your cheek into my hand, and I slowly remove it. You nod for me to sit, and I scoot over into the booth, peeling off my leather jacket. I still stare at your face; I couldn’t believe you were real. The server comes over to take our coffee order, I get mine hot with triple espresso and a shot of caramel, and you get an iced coffee with a shot of vanilla and almond milk. I smile, you’ve kept the same order since you started drinking coffee.

Your eyes fix on mine, and I smile at you, sipping my coffee. “You haven’t changed.” I tell you softly.

“My back will have to disagree with you.” You laugh, spinning the straw with your finger. “You haven’t either, aside from more tattoos.”

I smile; remembering that you were there for most of my smaller ones. I had convinced you back then to get a large tattoo that started from under your breast, all the way down to the top of your hip; that was always my favorite part of you to taste. I cross my legs, feeling a tingle in my lower belly. Fucking pervert.

I notice a few finger tattoos on your right hand, and I nod to them.

“I told you they were addicting.” I laugh. “How many do you have now?”

You laugh, a sound so beautiful to my ears, I want to cry. “Sixteen? Seventeen?”

My eyes widen and I laugh. “No way! Let me see.”

You meet my eyes, your face turning crimson. Of course, there were hidden ones, I immediately feel like I overstepped and go to apologize when you speak. “It’s a lot of random ones, all over. I added some stuff to the rib piece.” That one you show me, you lift up your sweater, and I feel my dick twitch.

Pervert. Dirty pervert. It’s been fifteen years, put your dick away.

The cluster of wildflowers that started from your ribs to your hip had added roses to different spots they ended up entwining into a beautiful ivy vine, before falling off towards your back. I notice the bottom of a small piece on your sternum, and you pull your sweater back down.

“That’s beautiful.” I tell her, smiling. “What have you been doing these last fifteen years?”

“Well, I moved out of Hawkins.” I smile at that, she always wanted to leave that place. “I moved to Maine, I bought myself my own little cabin in the woods. I’m a nurse at the local hospital there.”

My heart practically bursts with pride, and I laugh. “See? You don’t have to be famous to have your own cabin. That’s wonderful, I know that was always a dream of yours, becoming a nurse.”

“Yeah, it’s fulfilling. Heartbreaking 99% of the time but fulfilling.” Your eyes fix on mine again, and we just share comfortable silence as we stare at one another.

“Your eyes are sad.” You say suddenly.

“What?” I snap myself back down to my reality; it was easy to get lost in your eyes.

“You look like you’ve been through hell and back again. Sorry for being blunt, I’m just sorry for whatever is bothering you.” Your eyes show me that same familiar kindness, and I smile awkwardly at you.

“I’m okay.” I tell you, only half lying.

You place your hand over my ringed fingers, gently entwining them. I stare at our hands, and gaze back into your eyes. “What am I doing here?” I whisper to you. I can feel my heart do another back flip, and my brain screams at me to get up and run because I can still feel your love.

Your fingers gently move over the bumps on my rings, and your eyes dart to mine. You spot the small silver chain around my neck, half tucked in my shirt, and you lift your hand to gently pull out the red guitar pick. You finger the plastic and smile. “Wow. You kept this all these years.”

“Of course, I did. I never take it off.” Except when I used to shoot dope, but that’s beside the point. I swallow the lump in my throat. “Sweetheart, why am I here?”

You sigh, giving me a sad smile. “Would it be weird if I said that I really fucking miss you? And for the last fifteen years, I haven’tstopped thinking about you.”

Heart exploding.

My breath hitches and my eyes widen slightly. “But…I hurt you…and I left—"

“I know, I know you did, but” you take my hand again. “Eddie, we were best friends. Since before we could even say those words. You were so important to me. You’re still important to me. How could we throw that away?”

I stare at you, reading your face, gazing at the shape of your mouth, the way your hair falls in waves, the curves of your breasts. I squeeze my eyes shut, pulling my hand away from yours. “You wouldn’t think that anymore once you know what I’ve done, who I’ve become.”

“Then tell me.” You say softly, your eyes dart from my lips, to my eyes. I stare at your lips, remembering how perfectly they fit against mine, how soft they were. How eager you would be when your tongue would slip into my mouth, deepening the kiss, your soft moans vibrating against my mouth as I carefully push myself inside you.

I meet your eyes; you’re waiting for me to say something. I shake my head, running my hands over my hair. I sigh. “How long you got?”

You look at your wrist at a fake watch. “About a week.” I laugh and lean back in my seat, sipping my coffee.

Yeah, I missed you too.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Special shout out to: @trixyvixx @originalstar1 @iggyizalien @themorticians-world

& so many of you who supported my last series.

I wouldn’t continue writing if it weren’t for you guys giving me the motivation to do it. Love you all!

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x fluff #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x smut #eddie munson fanfic #stranger things #eddie munson fem!reader #eddie munson comfort #rockstar eddie munson #Spotify

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justmeinadaze · 7 months

Text

I Have Nothing (If I Don't Have You) Part 7 (Steddie X You)

A/N: I was going to release this later but it may be a week or so before I post anything written again because I'm moving. I was writing a lot more these past couple of weeks because I was avoiding packing lol Any way please enjoy the angst.

Warnings: Security Guards/Softly Dom Steddie X Sub Singer Fem reader, I AM PUTTING A DARK THEMES WARNING ON THIS! There is not smut but much angst dealing with addiction and overdosing. Y/N does have a slip and ends up in the hospital. There are talks about her ex and her parents involving trauma. PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS CHAPTER IF THAT MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE!

My inspiration for this chapter was "Dancing with the Devil" by Demi Lovato so that should give you some idea of what you're heading into.

Word Count: 4538

“I’m here with Y/N Y/L/N a few months after her cancelled tour and I think I speak for everyone when I say you look amazing. How have you been?”

“Aw, thank you. I’ve been doing really well actually. I’ve been sober for about six months—”

“Congratulations!”

“Thank you. Thank you so much. It’s been hard but I’m trying.”, you giggle.

“We’ll we’re all routing for you and are extremely proud of you! Now Y/N, I have to ask, do you have any comments in relation to what your ex has been saying in recent interviews.”

Eddie growled low at the question and Steve quickly placed his hand on his shoulder to calm him.

“Um, I mean, Simon can say what he wants. Our relationship was tumultuous to say the least but I’m not allowing him to bother me anymore. I’m in a new healthy relationship and I’d rather focus my energy there.”, you softly smile as your eyes hastily shift their way before coming back to the interviewer.

“Oh my goodness. You are just wonderful. I love it. Do you have any news for us on a new tour or maybe a new album.”

“Right now, I don’t have any plans for another tour but I am working on some new songs so hopefully you guys will get to hear them soon.”

“Well, we’ll keep an eye out and thank you for meeting with us today!”

“And we’re clear!”, a tech guy shouts and the interviewers smile promptly falls. “Oof I need a drink. Alright Y/N, thank you so much doing this.”

“No problem. Thank you for blind siding me with your question about my ex.”

“Hey, he wasn’t on the list of no go questions I got from your team and it’s not like I’m not going to ask when he’s blowing up every form of social media.”

Rolling your eyes, you stalk away from her and out of the studio into a hallway.

“Hey! You okay?”, Steve asks after they both follow you.

“Yeah. I can handle bitches like Becky Stone. I’m struggling a bit with Simon though.”

“I can understand that. Fucking dick has been everywhere since you started getting sober.”, Eddie sighs as he reaches up to pet your head. “You did really well out there.”

After checking your surroundings, you lean in and wrap your arms tightly around him.

“I’m so glad you both are here.”

***

Steve wakes up to the sound of music playing in their living room and you not between them. You had started spending a lot of time and nights at their house saying it made you feel safer. People didn’t know where they lived plus your house was littered with memories you were trying to heal from.

“Hey you. Why are you awake?”, he asked when he found you on their couch strumming your guitar.

“I just had a nightmare and couldn’t go back to sleep so I thought I’d come hang out here.” You smiled as your eyes scanned over his nonprofessional demeanor. Most of the time they were on guard securing you so they were dressed well and alert. In calm moments like this, you found them to be the most attractive. Steve’s honey brown eyes radiated a softness you hadn’t seen in a while. Him in only his black sweats allowed you visual access to the muscles in his arms that made you feel safe and secure especially when he held you. His chest and stomach were always extremely kissable especially when you pressed your face into him after they would make love to you or when you were falling asleep.

When Eddie was at home and relaxed, he usually sauntered around in his boxers and a band shirt of some kind. Curling up in his warm embrace and broad chest was one of your favorite things to do as you kissed his neck and ran your hands along his skin under his attire.

You loved being able to let down your own guard with them and allow them to take care of you in more ways than one.

“You know you should really learn to play, Stevie. With those beautiful hands, you could have all the ladies swooning.”

“Oh?”, he chuckles. “What if I only want one girl to swoon over me?”

“For that you can just use your hands for other things.”

He laughs again when you wink and smiles before patting his knee for you come sit on. Placing your guitar to the side you, you go to him, and seat yourself horizontally in his lap, resting your head in the nook of his neck. His palm gently caresses your bare legs as his other rubs along your back.

“Do you want to tell me what you were dreaming about?”

“I don’t want to make you feel bad.”, you coo as your voice dips into that little girl tone telling him all he needs to know.

“Was it about Simon?” Steve kisses your forehead when you nod. “I can understand that. You went through a lot with him and his more recent need for attention isn’t helping. You know, though, we would never let him hurt you again, right?”

“I know, baby.”

He grins when you place your lips on his.

“Come on, honey. Let’s wake up Eddie and see if we can help get you to sleep.” You giggle when he stands up with you in his arms and carries you back to the bedroom.

###########

“God, I hate Becky Stone.”, Sarah sighs before taking a bite of her food you guys had brought her. “But you did phenomenal, Y/N.”

Grinning at her, you glance towards the boys who playfully smile back before Eddie gestures with his eyes towards your own food silently telling you to keep eating.

“I’m still working with our lawyer about Simon and getting a cease and desist but there’s only so much we can do because it’s just him flapping his gums, you know.”

“I know. I mean fuck him right?”

“Yes, ma’am. Of course, the three of us will do whatever we can to keep him away from you. Speaking of…”, she turns towards your security. “How did the interview go with Pearce Security? I know we’d hate to see you guys leave but that is an amazing company.”

Their wide eyes find yours as everyone freezes.

“Um, we think it went well. We haven’t heard back from them though.”

“Good. If they need a recommendation…or…anything…Y/N, are you ok?”, your agent asked as she gave you her attention. Your eyes were closed as your breathing became a bit more erratic. No, you were not ok; you were panicking. Sarah grabbed a pen off her desk and threw it in their direction. “You assholes didn’t tell her?!”

“We didn’t want to worry her if we didn’t get the job.”, Steve explained.

“Of course, you’ll get the fucking job. You both are good at what you do!”, you shout.

“Y/N, honey, breathe.”, Sarah tried to soothe. “You two leave and let her calm down.”

Nodding, they exit the office and wait in the lobby. An hour passed before your agent’s door finally opened and your seemingly calm demeanor sauntered out, swishing passed them as you headed for the elevator. They followed you silently till you got to their car in the parking garage.

“I would like you to take me home, please.”

“I…I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Well, Mr. Munson, I don’t pay you for your ideas. I pay you to secure me so, please, secure me home.”

“Really? You’re going to throw a tantrum and we’re not even going to talk about this?”

“Oh, Mr. Harrington? NOW you want to talk? Honestly, there’s nothing to talk about. I really hope you do get that job. You’re great at what you do. Hopefully, your next client isn’t someone that requires as much up keep as I did.”

“Y/N—”

“Mr. Munson, I don’t want to hear it—”

“Yeah but you will!”, Eddie interrupts. “This right here is exactly why we didn’t say anything. We knew you would take it personally when quite frankly, sweetheart, this has nothing to do with you. This is our dream, Y/N. Just like with you and singing.”

“If we decided to take this job, we’d still be here for you, honey. You’re our girl. We…we love you, Y/N.”

Tears began to fall as you hugged your arms around yourself.

“People who say they love me abandon me or use me. Don’t love me. Just go and forget about me. You both deserve better than me anyway.” As you start to walk away, Steve grabs your arm but you promptly smack him before running.

Both men are hot on your trail before losing you as you jump into a cab and it speeds away.

##############

“FUCK!”, Eddie roars as he throws the pen he was using against the wall. “She’s so FUCKING STUBBORN! That’s a no on the hotel by the airport, Harrington.”

Both men had been hunting for you since you disappeared. Not playing games with them this time, you turned off your phone entirely so they couldn’t track you. They checked your house as well as any place you might normally be and had yet to find you. Currently they were calling every hotel in LA searching for any name they thought you may be under to no avail.

“Sarah’s right. We should have talked to her.”

“She’s still so fragile, Munson. We didn’t want to rattle her if we didn’t have to.”

“Oh yeah, Steve, because this is fucking better. Yeah! What?!” Eddie’s phone had vibrated to life with a number he didn’t recognize and he angrily answered without thinking.

“Heeeey Eddie.”

The metalhead’s head shot up as his eyes met Steve’s at the sound of your slurred voice, quickly putting you speaker.

“Y/N? Sweetheart, where are you?”

“Oh, honey, you don’t have to be so nice to me anymore.”, you giggle but there’s a huskiness behind you tone that tells them wherever you’ve been you’ve been crying.

As soon as they realized it was you calling, Steve went to work trying to find you. Your phone was still off but the number you were calling from was local.

“Ok…you don’t want me to be nice?”, Eddie sighs as he switches gears shifting into his more dominate tone. “Tell me where you are now, little girl. You already scared us half to death. Now, where are you so we can bring you home.”

“Home… I don’t have a home… This is ma life, sweetie. Gah, what was I thinkin’ pretending to be sober?”

Steve grabbed the phone from his friend and handed him his own.

“Y/N, you weren’t pretending. You were doing so well. If you slipped because you’re scared that’s ok. We’ll still love you, honey.”

“Stop. Saying. That.”

“What? Telling you the truth? I LOVE YOU!”

“STOP!”

“I love you to, sweetheart.” Eddie flashes Steve his screen showing him the number that you’re calling him from IS from a hotel that’s not too far from them.

They pause when they hear knocking on your side of line.

“Y/N…Whose there with you, baby?”

“Don’t love me. I deserve…I deserve men like him. At least I know what to expect…”

“Y/N! Did you OD in there or what?! I’m all alone out here.”

“Y/N.”, Steve warns at the sound of Simon’s voice as his tone drops into a strong authoritative growl that pushes through your inebriated brain. “You are not safe with that man. Do you hear me? Tell me where you are NOW.”

“I can’t—”

“No. This is security Steve and Eddie talking to you. You are in danger. We know what hotel you’re at but we need the room. If you don’t tell me, I swear to God Y/N, we will kick down every door searching for you. Do you understand me?”

“Yes. I…I’m sorry.”

As soon as you give them the room number, they grab their keys, and run towards their car.

“Listen to me very carefully. Stay where you are and keep the door locked. We’re on our way.”

The sound of you heavily inhaling through your nose makes them cringe in anger. They weren’t angry with you but themselves. They should have been up front with you and told you everything; reassured you that if they did move on to a different job they’d still be there for you because they cared about you so much.

You started saying something to them but it didn’t make any sense.

“Y/N, you’re slurring too much. I can’t understand you, baby.”

Eddie pushed his foot on the gas as he sped towards the hotel. He knew what that meant and knew they needed to get to you.

“…I say…I…love…you.”

***

They don’t even bother knocking, the door banging open as Steve kicks it in.

“What the fuck?!”, Simon drunkenly hollers as he tries to get to his feet.

“Stay down.”, the boy warns while Eddie runs into the bedroom and pounds his palm on the bathroom door.

“Y/N, it’s Eddie and Steve, sweetheart. Open the door.” After counting to five with no answer, his boot connects the wood and it swings open. Finding you on the floor passed out, he collects you in his arms, and lightly taps your cheeks. “Y/N, open your eyes for me, pretty girl. Come on, now.”

“Yes, we need an ambulance now!”, Steve yells into the phone as he grabs your ex’s collar and forcefully shakes him. “What did she take?!”

“Jesus, I don’t fucking know. Get off me.”

“What do you mean you don’t know!?”, he shouts as he smacks him hard. “She didn’t have anything on her so whatever she took YOU brought!”

“Oh please.”, he slurs. “She fooled you with that sober routine? Small town whores like her never change. Trust me.”

Steve punches him in the face, throwing him to the ground before running to the bathroom and watching as Eddie rubs your back as you throw up in the toilet.

“I know. I know it hurts, baby. You have to get as much of it out as you can.” Collapsing into his arms again, you cried into his neck as he rocked you back and forth. “Good girl, princess. Stay with us, okay? Everything’s ok.”

##############

Sarah fiddles with a keychain on her keys as the boys and her wait to hear anything from the doctor. As soon as the guys called her, she ran down to the hospital sporting her jeans and a pajama shirt. Eddie had offered her his jacket which she appreciated.

What she didn’t appreciate, however, was when Jack (your ex-agent) sauntered in with a smugness that made all three of them want to hit him.

“Wow, Sarah. You had her for what, six months, and she ODed. Good job.”

“Fuck off, Jack. Why are you even here?”

“Because you’re going to need me for something this big. After six months of sobriety, she overdosed on a hotel bathroom floor with the ex who’s been badmouthing her to the press in the next room.”

“I think you forget; I was her publicist. I know how to handle the press and her image. To be honest, that’s the last thing on my fucking mind.”

“That should be the first. At this rate no one in this room is going to have a job. Either she’ll kill her reputation or herself.”

Eddie angrily rose to his feet to confront the man but Steve hastily grabbed his shoulder.

“Get the fuck out. She fired you, you’re not welcome here. Get. Out.”

“As far as I can tell, you two are the ones that shouldn’t be welcome. She’s never been this bad.”

“Oh please. She was worse before we came into the picture but you were too greedy on the money she was bringing in to notice. As long as she continued to sing and bring in income, you didn’t care how wasted she was!”

“Last time I checked, you boys are security. You’re not her father or boyfriend—”

“Sure, because men like Simon and their opinions about her matter so much more.”, Eddie growled. “And last time I checked, her father doesn’t care about her either. She needs people in her life who give a damn.”

“Yeah well, you can take that up with her parents because I called them.”

“You what?”, Sarah asked as she rose to her feet as well.

“She’s their daughter.”

“Since when?”, Steve accused. “That was not your call to make. Their judgements are the last thing she needs right now.”

“For Miss Y/L/N?”, the doctor calls as he comes around the corner.

As everyone moves forward, Eddie places his palm on Jack’s chest, stopping him and motioning for the security guard behind the nurse’s station.

“This man is not with our party and he has no family or relatives here. If you could escort him out we’d appreciate it.”

“YOU’RE GOING TO NEED ME, SARAH!”, Jack shouts as they drag him towards the exit. “This is about to get out of control!!”

***

“So, she’ll be ok?”, Sarah asks as she anxiously adjusts the blanket by your feet.

“Yes, ma’am. You got her here just in time it seems. Legally, we have to keep her for 72 hours for observation but even if we didn’t I would anyway. She had a lot of drugs in her system… I know she’s an alcoholic…Thankfully we didn’t find any in her stomach. I fear if she had been drinking…”

“She’s been sober for about 8 months.”, Steve murmured as his fingers reached down to gently caress your arm.

“I see. Well…slip ups are normal. Honestly 8 months without one is a quite a feat. She should be proud of that.”

“Knowing her, she won’t. She’s going to wake up and blame herself.”, Eddie sighed as his eyes scanned your sleeping face.

The doctor could only nod before he finally continued, addressing the boys.

“We do have security watching the doors to keep out fans and paparazzi. Is there anything else we should be aware of or people we should be on the lookout for?”

“That idiot we just threw out said he called her parents but they’ve never come to California before and I really don’t think they will now but I have a picture of them from her social media. I can give them to your security.”, Sarah confirms.

“Also this man…”, Steve flashes the doctor his phone. “Her ex is not allowed anywhere near her. If we can keep him out of the hospital entirely that would be great. He ran off before EMS arrived.”

“Simon Gates? That’s the one the police are looking for. Ok. We can do that. She’s safe here, guys. I promise.”

Eddie offers Sarah a chair after the doctor leaves but she shakes her head as she gathers her things.

“Now that I know she’s ok, I’m going to go home real quick and change. I’ll post a statement and get anything else from her house she may want. I assume you two aren’t going anywhere?” She grins when they nod. “Ok, good. I’ll be right back.”

As the door swings shut, the metalhead reaches out to touch your face.

“This is our fault, Steve.”

“Eddie—”

“Look at her!”, he hisses through his teeth. “Look at her. We should have told her the truth. We asked her to put her faith in us and we still fucking hid something from her.”

“I know! I fucking know but THIS is why I thought we didn’t tell her.”

“How do you think that made her feel?! That we didn’t trust her enough to handle news that involved our future, a future that we want her to be a part of!”

They glared at each other before turning in the opposite directions but the sound of groaning got their attention as they towards you.

“Hey. Hey, pretty girl. How are you feeling?”

Your eyes took in their worried exhausted demeanors as you remained silent.

“Honey, are you ok?” Again, no response as you shifted your gaze towards the wall behind them. “Y/N, baby, please. Talk to us. Tell us what’s going on inside your head.”

Sighing, each boy took a seat as you quietly began to cry.

***

“Uh, Mr. Munson?”, one of the guards called as he poked his head into your room. “There’s a man out here claiming to be your uncle.”

Flashing the man a quizzical look, he headed for the hallway, bewildered by the sight of his uncle who was leaning against the wall waiting.

“Wayne? Hey, what are you doing here?” Extending his arms, they hugged each other before Eddie nodded at the guard.

“I saw on the news Y/N was hospitalized so I came down as quick as I could. With the way you talk about her, I knew this would be hard so I didn’t want you two to be alone.”

“You didn’t have to do that but I really appreciate it. The doctor said physically she’s doing much better but she hasn’t said a word since she woke up. We’re concerned.”

After entering your room, Steve stands to shake the man’s hand as Wayne comes around to sit in the empty chair beside him.

“Sweetheart, this is my uncle Wayne Munson.”

Your eyes flick towards him for a moment before shifting them back where they were causing both men to glance towards each other nervously. As the night droned on, you listened to them talk to each other until a nurse arrived to check your vitals and bring you something to eat.

“Y/N, honey, you have to eat.”, Steve cooed as you stared at the tray in front of you silently.

“Hey, uh, boys why don’t you take a break and go get some coffee. Bring me a cup as well, hm?”, Wayne suggested giving the man pause.

Tugging on his sleeve, Eddie ushered his friend towards the door knowing that his uncle would keep an eye on you while they were gone.

“My nephew says you have an extremely beautiful voice. He would definitely know. Kid’s been into music since he was born. His mom used to rock him back and forth when he would cry and sing some old songs from musicals she loved.” Wayne’s eyes shifted towards you but as soon as they met yours you looked away. “There was one she used to sing all the time from that one movie with Olivia Newton-John and he would just giggle up at her.”

Rising to his feet, he nonchalantly removed the plastic around your fork and opened the can of ginger ale they had brought you, pouring it into your Styrofoam cup.

“You remind me of her a bit. She was such a strong woman… I remember once, when she found out she was pregnant, she asked me ‘Wayne, what if I fuck up?’ and I told her that if she did that’s alright. Nobody is perfect. As long as you keep trying and keep working to move forward…if you falter…then, sweetheart, it’s ok.”

Your bottom lip trembled as you absorbed what he was saying.

“My brother, Eddie’s dad, never tried. Even after my nephew was born and his wife passed, he just kept getting worse till he ended up in jail.”

Lifting your cup, he brings the straw to your lips and flashes you a small smile when you take a drink.

“God, I wish I could remember the name of the song his mom used to sing it was something like ‘But now there's nowhere to hide since you pushed my love aside—”

“I'm out of my head…Hopelessly devoted to you…”, you sang in response making his grin grow.

It was just then that the two of you realized Eddie and Steve had been standing by the door watching everything unfold.

“Yeah, that’s the one.”

############

That following morning, you still weren’t very talkative but the guys were content with the fact that at least you were eating and doing things the doctors suggested. Whenever there was lull in the room, Eddie’s uncle would talk to you about random things making you smile occasionally.

Commotion in the hallway, however, grabbed their attention as they slipped into security mode and commanded you both stay put. As they entered the hallway, a couple of photographers were being held back as doctors ran through with a gurney into an awaiting operating room.

“What’s going on?”, Steve asked in a firm tone.

“Police found the boyfriend. They’ve been trying to revive him but nothing is taking.”

“Ex-boyfriend. What do you mean revive him?”

“A friend of his called saying he passed out on their floor. They found much harder drugs than what your client had.”, the hospital security sighed.

“Shit.”, Eddie exhaled as well, walking with his friend back to your room only to find you both gone. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

It doesn’t take them long to find you, skidding past an open door where you and Wayne were standing. The man kept a firm grip on your arm as you watched through the glass in front of you while nurses and doctors did what they could to save Simon.

“Honey, you shouldn’t see this.”

Steve reaches for your hand but you promptly yank it back.

“I’m not glass, Steven. You can stop treating me like any little thing is going to break me.”, you whisper.

“I see we’re back in our old mindset. Wayne, would you mind?”, Eddie asks as he gestures towards the door.

“I’ll be in her room. Be gentle, Edward.”, he warns making the metalhead nod.

“Sweetheart, this…”, he continues as he points towards your ex. “…this isn’t a little thing. Don’t treat it like it is. You need to feel what you’re feeling.”

“Stop. Stop talking to me like child.”

“Fine. Then let me talk to you like a boyfriend who loves you. That was you 36hrs ago… own it.”

“Y/N, you didn’t fail just because you made a mistake. You did the right thing by calling us and getting us to you. You could have been like him and ran but you didn’t. That’s a wonderful improvement. The old you would have been in jail or worse.”

Your head hung as you begun to cry and Steve gently reached out with his fingers to lift your chin.

“You deserve better than me.”, you reply in a hoarse voice.

“And you, baby, deserve better than this.”, he absently gestures around the hospital room. “The problem is you don’t believe it.”

Beeping fills your ears and the three of you turn just in time to see the machine flat line as the doctors in the room exhale heavily.

Your knees gave out and Steve quickly caught you, falling to the floor with you as he pressed your head to his chest. Eddie sunk down beside you, his hand petting your hair as they listened to you sob.

“It’s ok, sweetheart. Everything’s ok.”

“I’m sorry…I’m so sorry for everything. I love you…”

“Shhh. It’s ok, Y/N. We love you to. We’re right here. We’re not going anywhere.”

Series here

#####################

@rckstrbee @melodymishahiddlestan @nailbatanddungeon

@siriuslysmoking @micheledawn1975 @cositaslua

@munsonmoonshine86 @unfocused81 @paleidiot

@dad-steddie @aol19 @strngrlytn @mrsjellymunson

@needylilgal022

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power-chords · 1 month

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apologies if you've explained this already, but tumblr search is trash, so I have to ask... why the obsession with michael mann, how did that start?

Oh, man. It’s a long story! In the early days of the pandemic I got a call from my favorite rock musician that he had read a short essay I’d written on his solo album, and he wanted me to contribute a piece to his band’s forthcoming box set. Dream come true obviously, couldn’t say no, so I immediately buckled down on the research end, which for me involved a deeper dive into said musician’s love of film. Mann was on the list of suspects alongside more definitive entries like Coppola and Scorsese, but that turned out to be a happy accident of misreading. (Major shout out to Adam here, by the way, because without his guidance I would have been working with a much more meandering home-brewed syllabus.)

I enjoy movies like any properly adjusted American but they don’t tend to put a spell on me the way music does, or make me want to disassemble the whole contraption piece by piece like a good written story. And Mann’s work was the first time I’d ever encountered films that could have the same effect on me as music and literature. They were hypnotic and enchanting and propulsive, like my favorite records, but they also suggested this dense subterranean architecture of potential meaning, obscured from immediate view but very much there and carefully, deliberately encoded. In other words, these films were like texts imploring (really, daring) you to interpret them.

That’s Mann’s methodology in a nutshell, basically — it’s a seduction gambit, and on me it worked spectacularly! It tapped into my grotesque hedonic animal brain and sparked an intellectual curiosity as well. For me that combination has a narcotic quality that’s hard to explain, but I have an addictive personality. And the more I watched his work, the more it ensnared me like The Footage.* (“WHAT is going on? What is this film doing to me??” Etc.) You have to understand I have no prior experiential basis for this, so as far as I’m concerned it’s witchcraft. By the time I turn in my piece for the box set I have this collateral situation developing, ha ha, oh no, and here I am three years later.

Initially I had wondered if Mann had been an influence on Dulli, but it turned out to be a case of convergent evolution. Or something akin to it. I think they’re just similar in terms of what subject matter they’re attracted to, maybe in their modes of perception and how they make aesthetic/narrative sense of the world. And there is some part of me that keys into that sensibility — whichever part precedes organized expression, maybe even conscious comprehension — and finds it cathartic and liberating and all that good stuff. (I’m a Safety First adrenaline junkie these days so I try to limit my habits to art and pop culture.)

And then he and Meg Gardiner co-wrote an actual book which provoked further investigations, escalations, whatever you want to call them. It turns out that the abyss really DOES stare back into you in the form of numerous spooky historical coincidences. I’m like afraid of Heat 2 at this point because the more I go trawling around in there the more it becomes an eldritch object, LOL. I’m the closest anyone has come to living the film Jumanji, let me put it that way. But the experience has been a blast. And I feel fortunate to have found yet another creator on par with Dulli and Townshend whose work I will be able to take with me and return to over the course of my life, and seek shelter in in that way.

*EVERYBODY READ PATTERN RECOGNITION BY WILLIAM GIBSON!

#I’m sorry that is the most abridged possible version lmao #michael mann

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fortheloveofshitsandgiggles · 9 months

Text

Unreal Unearth is an album that means a lot to me. It’s one of if not the greatest albums I’ve ever heard. Each song impacts me in a different way, so I wanted to go through each song with my own experience and interpretations (disclaimer, some of these analyses are my personal interpretation or how I react to the song, art is subjective and is what you make it)

De Selby (Part 1): oh my god I’ve been dying to hear Hozier sing in Gaeilge. I actually sang a song in Gaeilge in choir a few years back, and while it was difficult for me pronunciation wise, it was super fun to sing and is a beautiful and underrated language in my opinion. I also adore how haunting it is. It sounds like the soundtrack to my crisis (and it has been). I struggle to explain it, but the melody is so tormenting, especially with the layered voices in the second half of the Gaeilge verse. They feel very ghost like. It’s such an incredible way to introduce us into the decent into hell.

Transition: Yes I’m giving this special section because it’s one of the greatest song transitions I’ve ever heard. It’s really difficult to transition from a slow song into an upbeat one, but this one did it in a way that allows my brain to adjust to the difference in tempo. First of all, it lowers in pitch until it matches the key of part 2, musically representing our slow decent into hell. Then it starts with this beat that goes into part 2, and to me, this represents a building of insanity, one that is further explored in part 2.

De Selby (part 2): This is one of my favorite songs on the entire album. First of all, the beat is so addictive and the song generally makes me want to shake my ass. But beyond that, this song encompasses insanity in a way that I haven’t seen before but is also so relatable. Even with the music video, like there are times where I have felt exactly like the guy in the video and I just want to run into the abyss and forget everything and hit myself with a shovel. Hozier has such a talent for making relatability so artistic and unreal (forgive the pun).

First Time: This song is so full of complex lyricism that I couldn’t even begin to dive into. It’s super vibey, which I appreciate. A few notable lyrics I’d like to point out is “But you spoke some quick new music that went so far to soothe this soul as it was and ever shall be, unearth without a name.” I don’t know if anyone’s talked about this, but this lyric was so similar to the “glory be” prayer (I grew up Catholic lol) that goes “glory be to the father, the son, and the Holy Spirit, as it was and ever shall be, a world without end.” I don’t know if that was intentional/ the direct inspiration but I def did a double take when I heard that lyric. If it is intentional, I love how he twists it from a praise god I’ll get into Heaven sort of plea into describing the limbo we are trapped in, unearth without a name. The other lyric is “These days I think I owe my life to flowers that were left here by my mother, Ain't that like them, giftin' life to you again” I just think that’s such a sweet line that appreciates the kindness in humanity, especially so many mothers including my own. I would like to give a shoutout to Hozier’s mom for birthing and raising him, I would love to shake hands with her.

Francesca: This is maybe one of the best songs Hozier has ever put out. It has been on repeat since the second he dropped it. First of all, the sheer concept of this song, to love someone so full and so deeply that you would endure every ounce of pain and suffering that is inflicted on you because of this love, that is so powerful and just has such an element of storytelling that is as thrilling as watching a movie. To endure such hardship for the sake of a simple touch makes me want to cry. We all want something like that, to be protected and to be worth the sacrifice of another. And the lyrics encompass that perfectly, especially “Heaven is not fit to house a love like you and I.” Now, being religiously traumatized myself, Heaven is a concept that I’ve gotten to know well. Eternal bliss and joy in the comfort of Jesus. It has hung over my head and has been used to keep me in the religion, especially as a comfort when it comes to the concept of death. But to say that even this place of eternal bliss and love and joy isn’t fit for the kind of love we possess just absolutely guts me. It is just beyond incredible.

I, Carrion (Icarian): As if Francesca wasn’t devastating enough, Hozier had to follow it up with this one. I absolutely love the use of Icarus imagery in songs, I love Icarus by Bastille (it especially reminds me of Crowley and Aziraphale from Good Omens). I know he used Icarus imagery in previous songs, and this is no hate to Sunlight, but I was def looking for something gentler that further explored the different perspectives of the story. And you know what, Hozier delivered. To paint the fall as something beautiful or as not even perceiving it as a tragedy is such a fresh take that I love the exploration of. “If I should fall on that day I only pray don’t fall away from me,” that hit me like a bag of bricks when I first heard it. Like, he’s plummeting from the sky, and still says “allow the ground to find its brutal way to me.” No matter what the ground holds for me, as long as I’m falling with you, everything will be alright. It becomes this state of delusion that is both heartwarming and devastating.

Eat Your Young: This song is what I have affectionately and repeatedly referred to as the “sexiest political commentary I’ve ever heard.” The melody and beat are so seductive, which just contributes to the appeal of the message, despite it being a pretty horrifying one. But it is from the perspective of the villain, which is an interesting point to write from. To say that it’s easier to cut out the middle man and eat your children rather than do atrocious things for power and money that will kill them anyways is such a relevant take on not only politics and capitalism but just the greedy side of humanity in general. The song is almost a trick, like it makes the greed sound so appealing and acts as a siren song to push the narrator’s unreliable narrative.

Damage Gets Done: I love Hozier songs that dive into the feeling of being young. Songs like Sedated and even Jackie and Wilson are reminiscent of that. We often think we’re indestructible when we’re young and we think we can do anything. We become reckless, but that recklessness isn’t what kills us. It’s the people in power who damage us with the laws they pass and systems they create. It sounds so happy like childhood, and yet it reminisces on what it was like to not be forced to participate in these systems such as capitalism. It felt good to just be free and not be tied down by the world. The melody of this song sounds nostalgic and hype like the energy of a young person. Also shoutout Brandi Charlie, I adore her voice on this track and in general.

Who We Are: We have to get through things one way or another, but “getting through still has a cost.” God, this line hits because even when the “damage gets done,” we still have to hurt in order to heal. And it hurts the most when you didn’t realize what you lost until it’s gone. The other lyric that hits is “someone with your eyes might come in time to hold me like water or christ hold me like a knife” hold me even though I’ll slip through your fingers, or if you can’t do that, wield me as something that can cause damage. And there’s nothing else we can do about it. Why? Because that’s who we are. Also, Hozier’s vocals on this song are absolutely insane, those high notes are so angelic. I don’t think I knew his range went that high but I was super impressed.

Son of Nyx: It seems like I say every song is my favorite (because they’re all so freaking good), but this one has got to be my favorite on the album. Despite the lack of words, this song stuck out to me the most. I want to kiss the composer of this piece. First of all, I’m an absolute slut for orchestral/ cinematic songs. And this song is unlike any of his other songs. It carries this haunting melody that is almost angelic in a way but the minor key pulls you back down into this journey of hell that we’ve been going on. It incorporates the melodies from other songs on the album beautifully. I’ve only been able to pick out the melodies from who we are and abstract, so let me know if there’s any others I missed. But the moment where the orchestra swells makes me actually ascend into the next dimension. I swear I had an out of body experience when I heard it for the first time. It’s so terrifying in a beautiful way and words can’t properly convey how this song makes me feel. It doesn’t need to have words for me to understand it, and pieces like that are especially impactful to me.

All Things End: Wow what a way to follow that. It definitely gives a bit of whiplash. First of all, I love the music video for this because the cut from Heaven Hozier singing with his little surgeon church choir to him dead on a table makes me giggle every time, it’s so abrupt. Anyways, it’s interesting that this song goes under the circle of Heresy, because the connection isn’t immediately obvious. But, to me, it does make a lot of sense. To say all things end, including Heaven and hell, inherently denies the belief in Christian ideals. Which, to me, is empowering in a way. This song is simultaneously hopeless and hopeful at the same time. It says that joy will end eventually, but so will the pain. It’s a comfort and an anxiety all wrapped up into one song.

To Someone From a Warm Climate (Uiscefhuarithe): I’m gonna be honest, this one was harder for me to figure out. It’s incredibly simple in a way that is so effective. To me, this song sounds like being unable to provide for someone what they need. And that’s one of the most devistating feelings, one that the simple sad sound of the song encompasses very well. I know what it feels like to be unable to give what someone needs. It makes you feel so stuck and so useless, a feeling which I despise. And Hozier, as he always does, broke my heart with this one. But he was only gearing me up for what would come later with Unknown.

Butchered Tongue: One thing this song reminds me of is how much history we’ve lost. I think about this a lot, the texts we could’ve had, the wisdom we could’ve shared with one another, all lost to the greed of other human beings. I think of the Indigenous cultures that were viciously stripped away in the name of god, the languages lost, the abuse endured. I think of the stories of LGBTQ+ people that remain untold because it didn’t fit the ideal image of those in power. I think of the untold thoughts and lives brutally taken to early. We build incredibly complex and beautiful cultures but we still put in the hours to tear them down. It’s a really upsetting reality, to know that loss happens all around us and there’s nothing we can do to stop it. But we are also encouraged to be kind, so if you take anything from this post, from this song, please show kindness to all, especially those whose stories remain untold.

Anything But: This one is just so groovy I always gotta do a little dance when I hear it. What’s interesting is this song is framed like a love song. But to me, this sounds like running from something or someone. Like “I don’t wanna be anything but I would do anything just to run away” like yeah same. I just want to run away from everything and move into a cottage in the woods or something. It really captures that feeling of just wanting to get tf out of here.

Abstract (Psychopomp): Circling back to the religious trauma thing, I’ve always had a fear of death. Or rather, what comes after death. With the threat of hell always hanging above my head, I was scared to step out of that narrative they always trapped me in with. I don’t wanna suffer for eternity after my short existence. So I’ve always struggled with the idea of dying. But this song frames the journey to the afterlife as something beautiful, which is so comforting, I can barely put it into words. The idea that a spirit guide could be escorting you to the afterlife and they tell you to look back at Earth and “see how it shines” makes me feel a relief unlike any other. I know this song is based on an experience Hozier had where he watched an animal get hit by a car and watched someone comfort the animal in its last moment. But the way this song treats the concept of death is just so moving. It captures the fear and the pain but also the beauty of having someone to share those last moments with and having someone guide you beyond. The imagery in this song is such pure storytelling I feel like I am recounting the memory as if it’s my own.

Unknown / Nth: Not only is this song the most devastating one on the album, it’s maybe the most devastating song I’ve ever heard. I went through a breakup a while back and every single lyric described every single thing I was feeling about that lost relationship. It captured me and my pain so well I’m convinced Hozier crawled into my brain and wrote this. He described feelings I couldn’t even fit into words. The teaser that Hozier posted for this song on tik tok actually came out right in that stage where I could feel they were drifting away from me. This was a long distance relationship, so first the “you know the difference never made a difference to me” hit hard. Not only that, I always called them my angel, so “I thought you were like an angel to me” was just double the emotional damage. Then, we get to the bridge. This bridge is the absolute most gut wrenchingly genius string of words ever written. “Do you know I could break be with the weight of the goodness love I still carry for you? That Id walk so far just to take the injury of finally knowing you” Holy. Shit. I’m someone who, when I love someone, I love them with every ounce of myself. I would bend the Earth if they asked me to, I would give them my life and soul to sell to Satan. For a long time after that breakup, I still loved them and that love just fueled my grief. I knew this person like the back of my hand, I knew every inflection in their voice, every joke they hadn’t yet made, every feature of their face. And they knew me, fully and deeply in a way few people do. They listened, and they made me feel heard. And all of the sudden, it was all gone. And I did break beneath that weight, because I still loved and knew them, but didn’t get to know anymore. I didn’t get to know what they were doing now, how they were doing, I didn’t get to call them every single night anymore. But despite all of the pain, I would gladly do it over and over again. I can’t bring myself to regret any of it. “And there are some people love who are better unknown.” All I’ve ever wanted was to be understood. I struggle to make friends, and sometimes when I do, I’m only relevant when I’m beneficial. I’ve only ever wanted to be known by those around me. And they knew me. But when they left, I felt like I was unknown again. And I too resigned myself to that idea that maybe I am better unknown.

Transition: The transition between Unknown / Nth and First Light is much more subtle than the one between the De Selbys. But it’s there and it’s worth mentioning. When Unknown / Nth ends, we are left with this sinking and hopeless feeling that we will forever be stuck in that ice, flapping our wings. That hopelessness is drawn out in this ghost of a lingering note that pulls through the end of the song. Then the very first note of First Light is the same as the last note of Unknown / Nth.

First Light: The beginning of this song sounds exactly like rays of light spilling through the cracks. It sounds like the relief of light hitting your eyes after being trapped in a place of darkness for a long time. As the song goes on, it starts to sound more like an ascension. The vocals become very angelic and the whole song grows into this powerhouse of force that just gives off such a hope and determination that we haven’t felt for this whole album. To me, it’s very interesting that Hozier decides to end this album on such a hopeful note despite how devastating every other song was. I was convinced he was going to end the album on Unknown, and he very well could’ve done that. He could’ve left us in the deepest circle of hell. But he chose to end on this super optimistic note of finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I think it just gives us a look into his own optimism and his belief that our resilience as humans has and will pay off. We are constantly faced with adversity and won’t stop until we take our last breaths. But our desire to keep fighting is what makes us such a uniquely incredible species. And the payoff afterwards is a satisfaction that nothing else can quite compare to.

Hozier has such a way of turning the human experience into something otherworldly. He never ceases to amaze me with how his mind creates. I hope I get to tell him one day how much his art means to me and how deeply it’s affected me.

#hozier #andrew hozier byrne #unreal unearth #music #art #storytelling #mythology

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fawntarot999 · 1 year

Text

What is your new 2023 aesthetic? 💁‍♀️👑💄

Close your eyes and take a deep breath, then pick a pile 🔮 don’t think too much 💋

Decks ~ Mystic Mondays Tarot, Fyodor Pavlov Tarot, The Herbiary Oracle, Rider-Waite Tarot, Rebel Deck Oracle, Tarot of the Cat People

Pictures are from Pinterest, I do not own them

Pile I ~ Jackie

King of Cups, 2 of Wands rx, 8 of Pentacles, 3 of Swords, 7 of Pentacles, Rose, Fool rx, Tower rx, Fucking Apologize, Blank

Hahahaha, okay Jackie you got hurt and now your coming back with a vengeance, huh? It’s real though. It’s not a fake bad bitch energy, it’s an actual prosperity energy. Let’s think Megan Fox aesthetic. 2023 is the year in which you should begin to pursue your creative desires more passionately and in more of a business sense. Stop planning and thinking so much and go get it because the energy is there to turn your emotions into art into money. You were deeply hurt last year. Heartbroken. Some of you were cheated on. This year is your restart. This is the year you’re done playing a fool and waiting for more bad events to happen. It’s the year you start over and learn how to crack open and be beautifully in sync with your emotions. Your challenge this year is forgiving yourself and practicing self care. Forgive yourself and apologize to everyone you’ve wronged. You’re literally being given a blank slate (your last card is blank) and all I hear in my head is “the rest is unwrittennnn”. Single, making money, being creative, bad bitch energy, reds, pinks, oranges, THE WORLD IS YOUR OYSTER THIS YEAR!

Spirit Shuffle ~ Both Sides of the Moon by Celeste, WYTYNM by Miles Monaco, Junie by Solange, 6000 degrees by $hyfromdatre, my strange addiction by Billie Eilish

Pile II ~ Skate

Queen of Swords, Lovers, Justice, Chickweed, Tulsi, Justice, Knight of Swords, Don’t Fucking Force It, Temperance, Page of Pentacles

Damn, Skate, ain’t shit slidin by you this year. You’re calling bitches out left, right, and center. This is that “don’t lie to me, I’ll know” energy. Some of you might be feeling emotionally detached as well. I’m seeing an alignment of many things here: being brutally honest and just with others, discovering your own self worth, and this cute little academia bookworm vibe that would be so cute on you this year. I keep seeing the cover of Khalid’s first album as like an aura or energy for you guys this year. I’m seeing a lot of you might be in school or even law school this year. Some of you might be getting a divorce. This is a good fresh energy for that and it feels very positive. This year feels like a “that girl” energy: focused on school or learning, truth, and reading of some kind, and really discovering what it means to have a self love relationship with yourself. The only thing is sometimes you have a tendency to force things or move too quickly. This year is about learning how to let life flow naturally, let things come to you, practice the law of attraction, and find abundance from a place of calm. I’m so excited for you, Skate. This year you will learn how sacred you are.

Spirit Shuffle ~ Sick Shit by Together Pangea, I’m That Type of N**** by The Pharcyde, Brain Soup by Nasty Cherry, Sugar Honey Iced Tea (S.H.I.T.) by Princess Nokia, THERAPY! by Lauren Sanderson

Pile III ~ Cig

Justice rx, 5 of Pentacles rx, Quaking Aspen, Daisy, 2 of Swords, You’re The Shit, Drop The Fucking Ego rx, Empress rx, Rejuvenation (Judgement)

This year you are coming into yourself, Cig. This is your “don’t fuck with me” year. You’re upsetting the scales this year, Cig, and you don’t care anymore who’s mad about it. You’ve been rejected and neglected and had love withheld from you. You’re over that shit. This is some powerful energy and it’s giving “I don’t care what you think about me anymore”. You are learning how to be yourself. You have been the peacekeeper for too long. You’ve been making compromises for others for too long. It’s always a choice between being who you really are and receiving love and resources. You are learning that you SHOULD have an ego because guess what, you’re the fucking shit, Cig. You are learning to integrate the masculine side of you. This could be finding your voice and speaking out, exploring gender and sexuality, or finally feeling enough autonomy to make choices for yourself. When you can employ this masculine side of you, you will feel truly expressed, fulfilled, and reborn. I thought this reading was gonna be light but I think this year is gonna be really transformative for you, Cig. And it will happen through your own choices and agency. You are already perfect 🪷

Spirit Shuffle ~ cat scratch by Dua Saleh, No Effort by Princess Nokia, Recipe! by Jean Deaux, Moody! by Jean Deaux, fxck it then by Yaya Bey

#free tarot #pick a card #pick a pile #tarot reading #tarotcommunity #astrology #pick a picture #psychic #psychic readings

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mariaofdoranelle · 10 months

Note

Hiiiii for your drabelfest can i have a jealous ex chaol???

Lost the Breakup

Written for my Drabblefest

Nonnie, you absolutely can. I’m addicted to Maisie Peters’ new album, so I took some inspiration from it if you don’t mind heheheh

Also, I wasn’t clear in the post but the Drabblefest legislator (me) is adamant about writing for every single ask I receive!! with very few exceptions that involve creepy illegal stuff. but i’m okay with writing fun illegal stuff like drugs or murder. allegedly. don’t look at me, fbi agent.

Warnings: language, this fic isn’t Chaol-friendly

1k words

⨯ ⁺ ✦ ･｡ﾟ⨯ ﾟ♡ ✧* ･｡* ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

If anyone asked Aelin why she was sitting at a bar tonight, she wouldn’t know how to explain it. At least not without telling that last month she got the news that she’s not exciting and her boyfriend—now ex—isn’t in love anymore.

What she did know is that she must look pathetic having a drink by herself—which was definitely not the plan when Fenrys said he’d find someone to make her ex jealous. She sighed and texted her friend.

Aelin: where the hell is your himbo

Fen: on his way

Fen: just so you know

Fen: i picked him for his height and hotness

Fen: not his personality

Aelin: you’ll owe me one if he’s boring

Fen: i’m literally saving your ass

“Hey,” a highly familiar voice said when Aelin was texting a snarky response. “it’s been forever.”

“Hi,” Aelin gave him a taut smile. “what a coincidence.”

And by that, she meant what a coincidence that after stalking every college bar you go to on Instagram, checking which posts with daily plans you and your friends liked, and narrowing it down to two options, we ended up in the same place at the same time.

“So…” Chaol cleared his throat. “you wanna get a drink? Like, together.”

When Aelin opened her mouth to say no, a guy she recognized from the football team—Ronan? Roman?—put his arm around her shoulder and looked down at Chaol.

“Babe.” He cocked his head, looking down at Chaol. “Is he bothering you?”

Still sitting on her stool, Aelin leaned her head against Ronan’s torso, sent Chaol a fake apologetic look and said, “I’m kinda busy, but thanks.”

“Sure.” Chaol gave them a stiff nod. His jaw was tight, his movements unnaturally smooth as he walked away with clenched hands on his sides.

Dear Mala, it looked a lot like Aelin was about to win the breakup.

Ronan’s eyes were squinted at Chaol as her ex walked out. “The way Fenrys begged me to come here to make him jealous made me think he’d at least be hot.”

Aelin opened her mouth with a retort ready, but closed it again when something clicked “What do you mean Fenrys begged you to come?”

“I only came when he made it clear he was asking for a favor, not playing matchmaker.”

Aelin sipped her Moscow Mule, trying to figure Ronan out. “You won’t have a date with a girl unless it’s to make her ex jealous?”

He snorted. “Not a date Fenrys finds me, no.”

After brief introductions and a round of drinks, Aelin found out his name was actually Rowan, not her other guesses. She was so close, but the roll her tongue did while pronouncing his actual name made it much sexier.

Also, she made a mental note to thank Fenrys later. She asked for a usual hot guy, and her friend sent her the gods’ favorite soldier, built like an ancient warrior.

“Tell me how this short man broke your heart.”

Aelin wrinkled her nose. What a way to burst her horny bubble.

“He told me a month ago that he was bored in our relationship, and—“

“And?” Rowan’s tone was surprised, his eyebrows raised. “He insulted your charity work, and there’s more?”

Aelin groaned with her head in her hands, then focused back on Rowan. “We decided to take a break, and two days later Chaol’s ex told me he’d been hitting on her for a week.”

“Guilty of attempted cheating. He’s a piece of shit.” Rowan leaned closer to her. “And if you want, I can, you know…” he sneaked a look at Chaol's way and cracked his knuckles.

“No need, but thanks.” Aelin squeezed his forearm, a laugh almost bursting out of her. “I’m flattered, though.”

Rowan’s eyes widened. “I wasn’t being serious.”

“I doubt that.” She gave him a mischievous smile. “But you can be serious about dancing with me.”

Rowan’s face was starting to twist into a grimace when he stopped and looked at where her hand touched his skin. When he looked back up, something in his eyes had shifted.

He turned his palm up, held her wrist, pulled her close and whispered to her ear, “His friends are watching us, wanna give them something to look at?”

“We should make out.” Aelin licked her lips, taking his ravenous eyes in. “In the name of torturing exes, that is.”

Before she knew it, Rowan took her mouth as if he owned it.

He held her face and neck with both hands, and their languorous kiss turned into something much more fervent when he got up and pressed her against the bar counter.

She burned from the inside out with every flick of his tongue, Rowan luring her into a passionate haze where there was nothing but restless hands, his pine-scented cologne and broad shoulders blocking her from the outside world.

Someone cleared their throat behind Aelin, making them break their kiss. On the other side of the counter, the bartender was watching them with a bored look.

“Do you mind moving over to another place? This area is for ordering drinks.”

They gave him a quick apology and Rowan led her to another part of the bar.

“I can’t see your ex anymore,” he said, looking around while they explored the place. “but his friends are still here.”

Aelin smiled. She hoped she’d pissed Chaol off enough to leave.

“You know what’ll make him go berserk?” Rowan asked, a playful glint in his eyes.

She wiggled her eyebrows. “I’ll do it.”

“If we get out of here together,” he whispered in her ear.

“Fuck, yeah.” Aelin said in a husky tone, her breath heavy as she wrapped her arms around him. “And we should go to my place. My front-door neighbor’s girlfriend’s best friend babysits his little brother.”

Rowan’s parted lips slowly morphed into a smirk. “We can’t lose that opportunity, right?”

“Absolutely not.” Aelin ran her fingers through his hair. “And I think we could do that some other time too. Just for reinforcement.”

Aelin would say she won the breakup, but she barely remembered it as Rowan pulled her face to his again.

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eazy-peazy54 · 12 hours

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ugh THANK YOU for making that will wood fandom post. okay this ask is gonna be super long and i’m really sorry to vent in your inbox but anyway. i heard about will on tumblr several years ago right after the normal album dropped but before he “blew up” (using that term loosely lol) and i’ve steadily watched his fanbase become more and more unbearable. for context i’m in my mid 20s, so unfortunately quite a bit older than a large portion of his current fans.

it’s really disappointing to me to see how strangely and unhealthily young people interact with media they like. i won’t waste time reiterating what you already said very well, but i will add something about the opposite end of the weird fan spectrum. so you basically called out some of the very public manic obsession that his younger fans display, but then there’s the other fans who do literally the opposite (to an obnoxious degree) where they say he’s literally just some guy etc. and like. i’m totally on board with the just some guy movement like yes let’s please acknowledge that artists are just people who happen to create something that you enjoy (especially small artists like will who aren’t even “famous” like he’s a niche indie artist that gained some recognition for a viral song but there are some kids out here treating him like a c-list celebrity like??) HOWEVER i do not understand why they have to act like any sort of emotional attachment to him or his work is toxic fan behavior. there’s absolutely no balance and it’s exhausting.

i personally feel like i and some of his older fans (older in age and duration i.e. mid 20s and/or been a fan since before early-mid 2021? i feel like that’s when he went viral) naturally engage in a more sane way. i personally am incredibly attached to his music, it means a lot to me, i listen to it a ton, and i also enjoy will as a person; i very much admire the brain, the mind, the person behind the art. i think he’s funny, intelligent, interesting, not to mention one of the most talented musicians / artists in general that i’ve ever come across. i like listening to him in interviews and on his podcast. and i think i manage all of that in a healthy and respectful way. i don’t think it’s difficult. but for some reason there are some fans who probably wouldn’t like the second part of that. they take “separate the art from the artist” way too far. “Do Not Have An Opinion About This Human You Perv”. it’s annoying. calling him pretty or attractive or whatever also gets met with some very weird reactions. “HE’S JUST A GUY” yes most of us are, in fact, just a guy™️ (gender neutral). saying he’s cute is not sexual harassment.

another thing that actually pisses me off so much is these fans describing and categorizing him based on their and their mutuals very specific demographic. “white teenage transmasc audhd neurodivergent mentally ill queer etc. etc. etc.” music. that is such a limited and myopic generalization. first of all, he had fans way before you, your age group is not his target demographic, nor is it his core demographic, on top of that he’s explicitly stated he doesn’t want people your age listening to him. he’s not for you. second, it absolutely makes sense that mentally ill people gravitate towards him given that he himself is severely mentally ill, so this part of the description pisses me off the least, but still, he’s also a recovering/recovered alcoholic, but i don’t see people saying he makes music for addicts? idk.

next is the queer bit. yeah gay people like him. i get it. he’s a queer safe space and that’s cool and i appreciate it but i feel like it’s still narrowing the categorization. he also has a lot of neurodivergent fans and i understand why. i think my main issue is just a combination of all of these very specific descriptors you know? like yeah he has fans that fit all of this but when you lump all of it together to describe his music and the entirety of his fandom then it becomes too much. whatever. anyway. the one that makes me the most mad is the white thing. i hate it when music that isn’t inherently racial is divided by race. it’s alienating and divisive and exclusionary and unnecessary. there are plenty of fans of color and there would probably be even more if some of y’all didn’t insist on generalizing his music based on your own limited experience. i think that’s sort of a microcosm of what a lot of poc talk about on here, about being shoved out of fandom spaces? like imagine you’re an adult queer black guy and you keep hearing about this will wood person who makes really cool music so you go to give it a try and find a bunch of 14yos calling him white preteen transmasc music. super off putting. even as someone who actually does fall into a couple (not all) of the demographics they talk about i know i would absolutely not be a fan now if i’d discovered him later than i did. which makes me sad. anyway. sorry this is definitely getting very long and rambly so i’m sorry about that i just have a lot of opinions about this fanbase.

oh my god this put everything i missed into words THANK YOU 😭

I completely agree with everything you just said!!! Honestly the whole big point with my essay was to just say "hey guys, don't be weird about this, and be respectful because there is a real person behind the screen!"

everyone who goes too far with the "HES JUST A GUY" thing isn't helping. its like. yeah, hes just a guy, but that doesn't mean i cant have any sort of attachment to his music whatsoever??? some people's idea of treating people like real people is really just treating them worse than how they were being treated before 😭

The people who are policing the fandom too much aren't helping either, its getting really exhausting to keep seeing posts saying "oh he looks really good in this photo!" and seeing like 200 replies being like "STOP SEXUALIZING YOU CREEP!!!!" (although there are people who actually do sexualize him, (which is really gross and weird) but i digress,)

music based fandoms are usually very,,, eh.. but honestly most of the fandom isn't bad, its just the people who take things to the extremes (in both directions) who are kind of making it a bit more awkward.

i think the fandom, and his music as a whole shouldn't just be narrowed down to "gay neurodivergent weirdo music," but it should just be like. "music for cool people" or hell, just fuckin "music"

#THIS PERSON GETS IT 🗣#will wood #will wood and the tapeworms #wwatt #litwtc #life in the world to come #peazy's yapping #asks :3

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in-death-we-fall · 1 year

Text

To Hell and Back

Kerrang 1227, September 13 2008

Being a member of Slipknot is a tough business. But it’s not just onstage that bad things can happen, as Joey Jordison knows to his cost…

Words: Daniel J. Lane Photo: Paul Harries

The cocaine one. It's short but it's a lot. Knew what I was getting into but this one's definitely gonna be wedged in my hellbrain for a bit.

(google drive link)

When Kerrang! caught up with Slipknot at the end of June prior to their headline slot on the inaugural US Rockstar Energy Mayhem tour, drummer Joey Jordison joked that, after being off the road for three years, the band were so full of pent-up energy and so desperate to get back out and play live that he “wouldn’t be surprised if we break our fucking necks on this first run of shows”. And, in true Slipknot fashion, on day one of the tour in Seattle, Washington, Slipknot DJ Sid Wilson ended up breaking both of his heels after an ill-advised stage dive, while Jordison himself reportedly drummed so darn hard he was forced to ride out the final three dates of Mayhem concealing a broken ankle from his bandmates. As a result, Slipknot were forced to cancel their scheduled European festival shows — including Reading and Leeds — after doctors ordered Jordison off the road for six weeks.

The diminutive sticksman is currently at home in Des Moines, Iowa. He’s bummed about letting all the European Slipknot fans down, but that disappointment is mixed with positivity, with new ‘Knot album All Hope Is Gone having debuted at number one and number two in the US and the UK respectively. And having finally kicked a long running and very private battle with addiction, Jordison has much to look forward to.

How much have you changed as a person since we last officially saw you on Vol. 3: The Subliminal Verses? “I’m definitely happier these days, that’s for sure. To be quite honest, and this is something I don’t want to get into, but basically, it all comes from quitting partying. I stopped taking narcotics just before the New Year and now I don’t flub on double bass anymore and I don’t have to try to get through the songs when we play live. You can do whatever you want in your life, I don’t care. I’m not going to preach to you and tell you to stop doing whatever, but now I’m happy and I play better. It’s that simple. My band’s ecstatic about it. I haven’t played this good for a long, long time. Probably since the first record, and there’s nothing more gratifying than that."

When did you realise you had a problem with drugs? “It was probably when I realised that I wasn’t just hurting myself, I was hurting the people around me. I had a real moment of clarity last year. My girlfriend at the time, a girl who I thought I was gonna be with forever, cheated on me and I went on a three week coke binge. I actually wrote some of the riffs for the new album [All Hope Is Gone] around that time, which is the only good thing to come out of it. But I just wasn’t having fun anymore and my family knew it.”

How did your family react? “My sister, Annie, kept trying to call me but I didn’t want to speak to anyone. The phone was off the hook. I didn’t answer my door, the lights were off, and I was just fucking ragingly pissed off all the time. So she sent me a picture of my nephew. He was trying to play drums and he was wearing one of my old masks. And so I called her and she put him on the phone and he said, ‘I love you uncle Joey’, and I was like, ‘Fuck it, I’m done. This is fucking stupid’. I realised I was basically fucking dying. It took that to make me realise what was really important in my life and that I’d done a lot of mean things to people.”

Like what? “Just stupid fucking rock star shit. Thankfully, I’m fucking over it, now. You act like an asshole, you feel like shit the next day and your performance suffers because of it. I really don’t want to go into it… I once made a tour manager cry because I was so fucking pissed off and hungover. Just fucked-up things like that. Let’s just say I’ve had to make a lot of apologies to people. But the past is the past, now I’m so much faster at drumming, so much more fluid with my breathing. I eat better… And I’m also fatter (laughs).”

We’d have said ‘healthier’ rather than ‘fatter’. You were looking quite skeletal towards the end of Vol. 3… “I’m just happier, dude. I wake up, and I eat really well. I don’t wake up and throw up like I used to. I’m not rail thin any more. Everyone in my family is like, ‘It’s so good to see you put on a few pounds’.”

Where do you think your addiction stemmed from? “We have good lives. I’m not going to say ‘Oh, woe is me’. People know we’ve had success and all that stuff. But there are things that can push you over the edge. Things like being an outcast at school, my step dad dying, the death of my friend [former Killing Joke / Ministry bassist] Paul Raven… He was one of the sweetest, most genuine fucking guys that I’ve ever met in my life. He was too young, man. He was too young. And I will miss him forever. These are the things that never leave you.”

Is that why you tried to incorporate the scars into your new mask? “I’ve had scar lines in my mask for a while now, but yeah, I wanted to design a mask that just shows the pain that I’ve gone through, the love and the hate I’ve gone through. It’s decrepit, it’s rotting, it’s sewn together. And the crown of thorns and the mummified look and the willowy hands, is the same thing. I’m growing old, man. I’m a human fucking tree, I’m just rotting into the earth. It’s the scariest looking thing I could come up with. I don’t wanna be the pretty boy in the band any more. I’m sick of that shit, y’know?”

Does it bug you that, pretty much from when Slipknot started, girls would throw themselves at you because you were the ‘cute one’? “Yes and no. Actually I think I might have done myself a disservice, I think the new mask might attract more (laughs). That said, I can’t wait to see the mock-ups in the audience. The old mask was kinda easy to copy, but the new one’s going to be that little bit harder. I honestly can’t wait to see the first kid with a crown of thorns at a Slipknot show.”

So what does the future hold for you, personally? “I don’t know. I take each day as it comes. Every morning I wake up and think, ‘Is this gonna be my last day?’. And if today is my last day, I wanna go out swinging, man. You know what’s crazy about me? I’ve already bought my grave. Just in case. It’s over down on Second Avenue [in Des Moines]. That’s what being in Slipknot does to you.”

Slipknot’s new album, All Hope Is Gone, is out now. The band will be touring the UK in December. See Gigs for details.

#if you want anything else from this scanned lemme know!#joey jordison #is he skewed? yes. do i feel like fixing it? no.#slipknot #kerrang 1227 sep 13 08 #interview #i looked it up and paul raven was uh 46 🫥

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