#I’m actually online too much omg

[kiatheinsomniac]

I posted 7,680 times in 2022

That's 7,051 more posts than 2021!

879 posts created (11%)

6,801 posts reblogged (89%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@edensrose

@involuntaryspasms

@asscrackcreed

@tiefliing

@annatars-rings

I tagged 1,501 of my posts in 2022

#from my other blog - 152 posts

#assassins creed x reader - 116 posts

#assassins creed - 93 posts

#q: gardening in the shire - 87 posts

#assassins creed fanfiction - 87 posts

#assassins creed fanfic - 81 posts

#ezio auditore x reader - 52 posts

#q: resting in the café theatre - 52 posts

#jacob frye x reader - 50 posts

#arno dorian x reader - 49 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#this took me sooooooo long to finish and that’s because after each line i read i would scream into my hands and go insane for a little bit

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Hello! Hope you're staying hydrated ♡ Can I request a fluffy scenario of Howl and reader in a flower garden? Reader decides to make different flower accessories to give to Howl (flower crown, bracelet, rings, etc.) Hope you have a great timezone and stay safe!!

Thank you for the kind words! I've had a headache since 6AM (now 9PM:( ) so I've been drinking plenty today! And this is such a sweet scenario, I couldn't wait to write it! Also if picking flowers with Howl had a soundtrack, it would be Strawberry Blonde on repeat and I can't elaborate, it just makes sense in my head.

Wildflowers

The sun beat down on your back, warming you through your white summer dress but not unpleasantly so. The dress had been chosen for you by Howl and was covered in a micro-floral print of dusty pink roses, violet forget-me-nots and their little green leaves. It hugged your chest and became loose below your breasts. The neckline was square and the sleeves puffed around your upper arms, stopping just shy of your elbows.

Your fingers were wrapping oxeye daisies, Queen Anne's lace and bachelor's buttons into a crown which you reached over to set upon Howl's dark, braided hair. You smiled proudly at your work, little violets woven into his small braids that you had woven yourself.

He turned around to face you with a smile tugging at his lips.

"How do I look?" He teased, leaning forwards so that your noses brushed against each other, breath fanning gently against your lips.

"Like a flower prince." You replied with a grin, closing the distance between the two of you as you sweetly pressed your lips to his, feeling his fingers come to rest beneath your skin you pulled back and began plucking up more flowers with your fingers, picking out some buttercups and beginning to weave them into a simple ring.

Meanwhile, Howl laid down with his head resting on your lap, making you smile down at him and he held his hand up to block the sun from his eyes so that he could look up at you, his other hand coming up so that the backs of his fingers could gently graze against the softness of your cheek.

You didn't miss the adoration in his eyes as he looked upon you and you returned the look in full, taking his hand from your cheek to try and slide the floral ring onto his finger. However, Howl stopped you and took the little ring from your hand, sliding it onto your finger instead.

"Perhaps I can get you a real one, one day." He mused and you felt your breath catch in your throat, heart fluttering in your chest like the wings of the butterflies in your stomach, "Gold or silver... Y/n Pendragon..." You felt your fingertips tremble in excitement, unable to hide the wide smile that rested upon your lips.

"Do you mean it?" You asked in a whisper and his face softened, assuring you of his love with a single look.

"Of course I do..." And he chuckled lightly at the force which you used to dive down and cup his cheeks, lips crashing onto his passionately with the smell of the sweet wildflowers surrounding the two of you.

780 notes - Posted April 1, 2022

#4

My favourite part of Hadestown is straight up how Orpheus, being told to leave, just goes “I’ll sing a song so good, it’ll fix your marriage”

844 notes - Posted July 4, 2022

#3

hello!! would i be able to request a howl x reader smut with comfort sex + howl being a soft dom? ty!!

Of course you can! I also got your other message about making this headcanons, don't worry xx

NSFW below cut

You didn't handle stress well. At all. As your lover, Howl knew this well.

So, during these times, he made sure to be extra attentive to you.

Touches against your waist, lower back, hands petting your head, doing more of the chores for you until whatever task that was stressing you out had been completed.

He took careful care to pamper you: bringing you meals as you worked, encouraging you (sometimes quite firmly) to drink enough water, when you woke, he would pick out your outfit for you while you got out of bed, he'd pull you away from your work at mealtimes and then make sure that you took a break after eating.

And you adored the care that he showered you with, it make you feel truly loved and loved and looked after.

He was successful in helping to relieve you of some of your stress, making it much easier for you to manage.

And he never let you stay up late into the night working, insisting that a poor night's sleep would only make your next day feel so much worse.

Oh and when you're finding it hard to fall asleep with how stressed you are?

He's coaxing you to stop tossing and turning with his body pinning yours down, ringed fingers skimming down your sides

He leaves little room for you to argue with how convincing he is

He's shushing you gently, holding you down into whatever position he's lifted you in "Let me do all the work... You're doing great... Being so good for me..."

And really when he's sweet-talking you like that, you can't find it in you to argue, especially not when it feels like a reward after your day of working

And when your tense muscles simply won't relax, you don't fail to notice the little wave of what feels like electricity flowing through your blood and then causing you to unwind with a relieved sigh.

No, he was not opposed to using magic to make sure that his lover could get the relaxation they deserve

Howl strikes me as the type to want to bury his head between your thighs, ESPECIALLY if you're holding his hair back for him: pull it, stroke it, hold it back into a ponytail, whatever you do with it, he'll reward your touch

When he's leaning over you, you curl your fingers around the golden chain of his necklace and tug ever so softly on it in a silent plead for him to lean down and kiss you

Praise, praise, praise!

He wants you to really feel the rewards of your hard work (there's nothing worse than stressing and working and stressing and feeling like you're getting nothing in return) so he makes sure that you know how proud he is of you, how much he admires your hard work and your drive to succeed

He'll start soft and gentle but really the aim here is to please you and wear you out simultaneously so he only gets harsher in pace as the night carries on

Telling you more sweet things such as "You're taking me so well", "Taking your reward so well", "Let me look after you"

He wants to make sure that you never feel that your efforts go unnoticed because he knows that you would never allow him to feel such a way

1,023 notes - Posted April 11, 2022

#2

notes: a request from @redeemer46 'some down and dirty Alucard smut would be equally appreciated. One shot if you have the time.' My love for fangs really jumped out in this one AHAHA and I'm glad to have the chance to write a chase scene with him - who would pass up the opportunity to be disadvantaged in a chase with a vampire? Not me <3

pairing: Adrian 'Alucard' Tepes x Reader

word count: 5.7k

warnings: NSFW content, smut, fang kink, hand kink, praise kink, riding, missionary

☾ ⋆ﾟ  MASTERLIST / RULES / TAGLIST FORM

A chase through the castle

See the full post

1,053 notes - Posted July 1, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Hello, it's me again 💀

Can I have something NSFW with Thranduil x Human!Reader + “Does it make you nervous when I stare?”?

Thank you!

See the full post

1,221 notes - Posted June 27, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[harrysfolklore]

omg i have a question for the bitchy carlos fic -

so nicole piastri came on red flags podcast recently and spoke about oscar and his childhood, what if there’s an au segment of her talking about older piastri & what would his reaction be

okay this turned out being way longer than intended bc i added the scene of carlos and nicole meeting bc why not, i hope i'm not annoying you with too much little bitch content, i'll promise i'll post for other drivers now READ LITTLE BITCH HERE

Host: "So, Nicole, we've heard a lot about Oscar's journey to F1, but what can you tell us about his relationship with his sister, YN? She has quite the personality online, doesn't she? Can you tell us about their relationship growing up?

Nicole:"Oh, those two. They've always had such a special bond. YN is a few years older than Oscar and yes, she's known as the Piastri who fights people online, but she's always been fiercely protective of him. From the moment YN first held Oscar as a baby, she appointed herself his protector. It was adorable and sometimes a bit much, but always came from a place of love.

Host: Can you give us an example?

Nicole: "When Oscar was about six and YN was maybe nine. Oscar had just started school and was having trouble making friends. He was quite shy back then, if you can believe it. One day, YN overheard some kids teasing Oscar in the playground."

Host: "Oh no, what happened?"

Nicole: "Well, YN marched right up to those boys and she told them off in no uncertain terms. She said, and I quote, 'My brother is going to be a famous race car driver one day, and you'll all be asking for his autograph. So you'd better be nice to him now!' The boys were so shocked they just stood there with their mouths open."

Host:"That's amazing! Did it help Oscar?"

Nicole: "It did, actually. Oscar was so impressed by his big sister standing up for him that it gave him a confidence boost. And you know what? Some of those boys ended up becoming his good friends. They still joke about YN's 'prophecy' coming true now that Oscar's in F1."

Host: "That's such a heartwarming story! It's clear YN has always been protective of Oscar. Now, speaking of relationships, we've heard that YN is dating Carlos Sainz. Can you tell us a bit about how that came to be?"

Nicole: "Oh, that's an interesting story! YN actually told us she was dating Carlos a while back, but we weren't surprised at all. We knew she liked him since that time in Singapore last year when our family visited. YN was trying so hard to act mad about Carlos' win, but it was obvious she was impressed."

Host: "So you had suspicions before they even got together?"

Nicole: "Absolutely! Even before that Singapore trip, YN used to go on these multiple rants about, in her words, 'this arrogant Spaniard' who kept pushing Oscar off track. She called him something I won't repeat but I'm pretty sure everyone knows it, it absolutely irritated her. But you know what? We all knew that deep down, she had a crush on him."

Host: "That's quite the turnaround! Have you met Carlos — as YN’s partner this time — yet?"

Nicole: "I haven’t, actually. I’m hoping to do that in Baku after the summer break. But I can see Carlos brings out a softer side of YN that we don't often see in public. Don't get me wrong, she's still fiercely stubborn and outspoken, but with Carlos, there's this gentleness that comes out. He seems to really understand and appreciate her passion, and he's not intimidated by her strong personality at all. In fact, he seems to admire it."

Host: "It sounds like they complement each other well. How has Oscar taken to their relationship?"

Nicole: "Oscar's been very supportive. I think he appreciates seeing his sister happy, and of course, it doesn't hurt that Carlos is someone he respects on the track. It's actually quite funny to see YN now, cheering for both Oscar and Carlos during races. She's always torn between wanting Oscar to win and not wanting Carlos to lose."

Host: "That's nice, Carlos sounds like quite the gentleman. Has YN picked up any Spanish since they started dating?"

Nicole: "Oh, that's actually a funny story. We love to tease YN about this. You see, she failed Spanish in high school - couldn't conjugate a verb to save her life. And now here she is, dating a Spaniard! Carlos has been trying to teach her, but let's just say it's a work in progress. She can now order a beer and ask where the bathroom is, so I suppose that's progress!"

Host: "That's hilarious! I'm sure she'll be fluent in no time."

Nicole: "Bless her, she's really trying. She's determined to have a full conversation with Carlos' parents in Spanish by the end of the year. We'll see how that goes!"

liked by oscarpiastri, carlossainz55 and 498,646 others

ynpiastri our queen is here !! and no one is ready

tagged: nicolepiastri

view all comments

username1 NICOLE PIASTRI IS THE MOMENT

username2 SLAY THE HOUSE BOOTS DOWN

mclaren Icon 🧡

lilyzneimer the besttttt 💓

username3 IS SHE MEETING CARLOS ??

username4 oh i can’t wait to see our queen giving carlos a run for his money again

landonorris Coolest ever

↳ ynpiastri her favorite will always be yuki don’t even try it

↳ username1 HEEEELP

yukitsunoda5511 Nicole is brat

↳ username2 I LOVE THEM 😭

oscarpiastri I’m ready, your boyfriend however…

↳ username3 LOOOOORDDD

↳ username1 POOR CARLOS

↳ ynpiastri leave him alone 😤😤

Baku had a special energy during race weekends. The tight streets and high-pressure atmosphere gave you a mixture of excitement and nerves, but today, the butterflies in your stomach had nothing to do with the Grand Prix. Instead, it was about the lunch you were about to have, where Carlos would meet your mom—officially, as your boyfriend this time.

You walked through the paddock with Carlos by your side, his hand wrapped around yours. Oscar was a few steps ahead, casually walking toward the hospitality area where no other than Nicole Piastri waited. She had met Carlos briefly before, like many of the other drivers, but this was different. He wasn’t just a name on the grid anymore—he was the man you were dating, and Carlos seemed to be nervous about the meeting.

"You think she likes me?" Carlos adjusted his hat for what felt like the hundredth time, his thumb brushing over your knuckles.

"Carlos, she’s going to love you," you couldn’t help but smile at his nerves, "She already does. But, you know... as a mum, she's entitled to give you a little hard time."

"That’s what I’m worried about," Carlos chuckled, but his smile was still tight, "I just want to make a good impression, you know?"

"You will," you assured him, squeezing his hand. "Just be yourself."

Oscar slowed down, overhearing your conversation and grinning like he already knew how this would play out. "Mum’s gonna grill you, mate," he teased, throwing a glance back at Carlos. "She’s been waiting for this."

"Not helping, Oscar," you muttered, giving your brother a playful shove. He just smirked, clearly enjoying himself.

When you finally reached the hospitality tent, your mom was already seated at a table, smiling warmly as she saw you all approach. She stood up to greet you, wrapping you in a familiar hug before turning to Carlos with that same welcoming smile—though you knew there was a glint of mischief behind it.

“Carlos, it’s so good to see you again,” she greeted, shaking his hand.

"It’s great to see you too, Mrs. Piastri," Carlos said, his polite smile fixed on his face. His Spanish charm was dialed up a notch, but you could still feel the slight tension in his grip as he held your hand.

“Please, call me Nicole,” she said, taking her seat again. “I’m not that formal, especially not with my daughter’s boyfriend.”

As you all settled into your seats, you couldn't help but notice the amused glances Oscar and your mom were exchanging. You knew that look—they were up to something.

"So," Nicole began, her eyes twinkling with mischief, "how long have you two been together again?"

You glanced at Carlos, who seemed to relax a bit as he answered, "About two months officially, right, cariño?"

You nodded, but before you could add anything, your mom raised an eyebrow. "And unofficially?"

"Mum!" you said as you felt your cheeks heat up.

Oscar, who had taken a seat across from you, let out a low chuckle, clearly enjoying the show. He leaned back in his chair, arms crossed, watching the dynamic unfold.

"That’s what I thought," she teased, making Oscar let out a loud laugh.

You felt your face grow even hotter as your mom's implications hung in the air. Carlos, to his credit, managed to maintain his composure, though you noticed a slight redness creeping up his neck.

"Well," Carlos cleared his throat, his accent a bit thicker than usual, "I think it's safe to say we've known each other for quite some time now."

"Oh, I remember. You two weren't exactly friendly at first, were you?"

"That's putting it mildly, Mum," Oscar snorted, "Remember the time she came home absolutely fuming after a race? She was ranting about 'that little bi—'"

"Oscar!" you cut him off, "We don't need to relive that."

Carlos squeezed your hand under the table, clearly amused. "No, please, I'd love to hear about this."

"Oh mate, you should've heard her," Oscar spoke again, "'Carlos this, Carlos that.' I swear, she talked about you more when she hated you than she does now."

"I did not!" you protested, but your brother's knowing smirk told you he wasn't buying it.

"It's true," your mum added, her eyes dancing with laughter. "I remember thinking, 'This girl protests too much.' I had a feeling even then that all that anger was hiding something else."

You groaned, hiding your face in your hands. "I can't believe this is happening."

Carlos wrapped an arm around your shoulders, pulling you close. "It's okay, hermosa. I love to hear these stories."

You looked up at him, seeing the warmth in his eyes. It was hard to believe that those same eyes had once glared at you across the paddock.

Nicole smiled, watching the two of you with that familiar mom look—part teasing, part proud. "Well, now look at you. I guess all that bickering was just a cover-up for how much you liked each other."

"You’ve gone soft," Oscar rolled his eyes dramatically. "I kinda miss the days when you’d call each other names."

"Don’t worry," you muttered, giving Carlos a playful glare. "He’s still a little bitch sometimes."

Carlos laughed, his arm tightening around you as he kissed the top of your head. "And you’re still my favorite enemy turned girlfriend."

Your mom let out a satisfied sigh, leaning back in her chair. "I knew it all along."

[leclercvsx]

Little Norris | SMAU

LANDO NORRIS

pairings: lando x pregnant! reader

summary: reader and lando document their pregnancy journey

warnings: none (?)

a/n: none of the pictures are mine ! they’re all from pinterest !

y/ninsta

liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc and 472k others

y/ninsta: surprise !! little norris coming soon 😛

TAGGED: landonorris

landonorris: i can’t wait to meet him ❤️

y/ninsta: “him” can also be a HER 🥱

landonorris: no, i know it’s a boy

user: STOP A LITTLE LANDO NORRIS RUNNING AROUND THE PADDOCK 😭😭😭

lilymhe: HOW DID THIS HAPPEN ?!?!?

y/ninsta: lando got p2, it was a wild night with no protection😊

lilymhe: DONT ADMIT THAT ONLINE

carlossainz55: congratulations, i’m gonna be a great uncle

danielricciardio: but i’ll be a better one🥰

oscarpiastri: speak for yourself mate

——

landonorris

liked by y/ninsta, carlossainz55 and 718k others

landonorris: look how pretty my wife is❤️

TAGGED: y/ninsta

y/ninsta: hormones are going crazy and i’m now SOBBING😭😭

lilymhe: can confirm this

alex.albon: i can also confirm this

user: i need a man like lando in my life😔

carlossainz55: counting down the days

landonorris: that’s my job

carlossainz55: i do it to remind you, because you will forget.

y/ninsta: very true Carlos

user: i’m so excited for this baby y’all

user: no cos me too, i need y/n & lando + baby content😭

——

y/ninsta

liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc and 529k others

y/ninsta: we’re having a little boy💙

TAGGED: landonorris

landonorris: i called it

landonorris: we’re gonna be great parents💙

y/ninsta: we really are💪

charles_leclerc: never in my life have i seen a women have that many mood swings in one night

y/ninsta: pregnancy hormones my dude

landonorris: now imagine what it’s like for me everyday

y/ninsta: you’re sleeping outside.

landonorris: I WAS JOKING BABY IM SORRY

user: omg it really is gonna be a little lando norris😭😭

carlossainz55: name him Carlos 😊

danielricciardo: they’re going to name him Daniel.

oscarpiastri: nice try lads, his name is gonna be Oscar

y/ninsta: his name is actually gonna be Sebastian😛

landonorris: after Vettel😌

sebastianvettel: i’m honoured💙

——

y/ninsta

liked by landonorris, danielricciardo and 519k others

y/ninsta: he thinks he’s so funny. spoiler alert, he isn’t.

im so over this pregnancy, i want him out already😭

TAGGED: landonorris

landonorris: few more weeks, baby.

y/ninsta: :(

charles_leclerc: it can’t be that bad, can it?

y/ninsta: in the words of Rachel Green “no uterus, no opinion” 😤

charles_leclerc: i’m sorry, i’m sorry🙏🏼

user: she is GLOWING omg

user: RIGHT???!

lilymhe: i’m here for you girl❤️

y/ninsta: i love you😭😭😭

landonorris: you made her cry

lilymhe: IM SORRY I LOVE YOU Y/N

landonorris: she’s crying harder

——

landonorris

liked by charles_leclerc, y/ninsta and 816k others

landonorris: Everyone welcome to the world ‘Sebastian Adam Norris’. Y/n did amazing delivering our son, i was by her side throughout it all. I love you both so much💙

P.S y/n said she isn’t having anymore children😭

TAGGED: y/ninsta

comments have been limited

y/ninsta: i love you both❤️

carlossainz55: congratulations!!

mclaren: welcome to the Papaya family🧡

liked by landonorris & y/ninsta

——————————

SORRY FOR NOT POSTING FOR THE LAST LIKE MONTH? IVE BEEN REALLY BUSY WITH COLLEGE BUT IM TRYING TO WRITE MORE !!

P.S i could not think of a name for the baby at all😭😭

REQUESTS ARE OPEN (pls request, i have no motivation)

Masterlist | Request

[barbiiecams]

sugardaddy!rafe who’s also older than you omg… you’re around 20-21 while he’s 30. it’s not bad, but it’s definitely not something people saw coming. some people thought it was wrong with what was going on, others actually envied you. but none of that ever mattered. you’ve made him the happiest he’s been in a while and vice versa. everything is so perfect for you, because that’s the only thing rafe wants (and it keeps you happy of course.)

being the girl you are, you have a big thing for keeping in touch with the latest clothing. and when you set your eyes on that cartier love bracelet… best believe it was gonna be yours.

you gasped at the beautiful sight on your screen. just happening to be laid back on the couch, in your favorite robe, that was covering your lace lingerie, doing some online shopping, it came up on your screen.

falling in love weren’t even the words for how you felt. rafe was in his office doing whatever boring work he always does. he told you not to distract him too much, but this was a bracelet you HAD to have. so, you got up to go see if he was all that busy.

making your way with the macbook in your hands, you already can hear him yell at someone over the phone from down the hall.

“are you fucking dumb? i said you will pay me by TONIGHT. or you know what the consequences will be.” it seemed like his voice was getting louder each word.

“you’re not listening, man. i don’t give a shit if-” at this point, you’ve actually made it to the door. he’s pacing and fuming around the room, then he spots you. he holds up a finger, mouthing you to wait a minute. but this bracelet? couldn’t wait at all.

“it’s important!” you whisper-yell. he ignores you, and that makes you even more impatient. he still continues to pace, getting angrier at whatever’s being said on the other side of the phone.

knocking on the door to grab his attention again, he takes a deep breath. “if you don’t get that shit sent by 12 am, that’s your ass tomorrow morning.” rafe says in a lower tone, but still very stern voice. you felt bad to whoever he threatened. there’s never been a single time rafe hasn’t done what he said he’s going to do when it comes to hurting people.

he hangs up immediately after and motions for you to walk in as he sits back down. “you know i’m busy baby, what is it?”

you needed to butter him up a bit, simply because you could still see the smoke coming out from his ears. “are you okay, honey? i can tell youre still pretty upset.”

discreetly trying to set the macbook down with it angled as if it meant nothing, you then walked to the back of his chair where he sat and started rubbing his shoulders. of course, he relaxed at your touch.

“don’t worry about it babe. just stress work.” he sighs. you leaned down to kiss on his neck. his eyes are shut as he loves all this affection, but he chuckles.

“someone must want something.” he says.

“i can’t just love on my man?” you faked innocent.

“oh you do that enough, but i see the macbook you brought with you.” he responds. you gave him one last kiss.

“it’s just a little something i saw.”

“oh yea? how little is it?”

you reached over to pick up the laptop. opening it so he can fully see the screen, the gorgeous 18k gold band with diamonds all over it popped up.

“that’s real gorgeous baby.” his eyebrows raised.

“i know! wouldn’t it look so perfect on me?” you suggested.

“it would,” he started to pat his clothing for his wallet, “what will i get out of this though?” he teases.

“well, just imagine how much better my hands will look when i hold onto you, and how well it will look up close when i give you a blowie.” you reply seductively. for a second, it looks like he’s really trying to imagine it.

by now, you know he feels his wallet. but he likes to play with you at times. “i don’t know if you need it,”

“pleaseee rafey! i really do! haven’t got a new bracelet in soo long.” you started to beg.

“58,000 for this? shit i could buy you a new purse with that.” he chuckles again. he could buy you purses worth a lot more than that but you know, who’s keeping track?

you took a seat on his lap and straddled him. “please? i’ll be such good girl. y’can use me however, whenever. doesn’t matter what you want. i would just love to have this bracelet though.” he was a fool for your doe eyes, so that was the weapon you were trying to use.

he just smirked in your face. the both of you knew he liked to hear you beg. “i don’t know..” he says which makes you internally flip out.

you threw your face in the crook of his neck and made it sound like you were getting emotional. “please rafe!! it’s so pretty.”

he lets out a laugh then starts stroking your back and swaying a little. “i’m just joking baby, of course you can have it.” that’s all you needed to hear to perk up again, and give him the deepest smooch.

“thank you, handsome.”

“you’re welcome, spoiled.” he says before slapping one of your cheeks. “gonna buy it right now, but i got some more work to do so i’ll be with you in a minute. want you stripped down with legs open, yea?”

whatever rafe says, most definitely goes. “yes, daddy.”

[azzypzazzy]

Schlatt with a goddess beautiful stunning pretty gorgeous gf

Omg hii. I literally see you everywhere so this felt like a badge of honor. Also this is a bit late but i’m just a girl so idk

𝜗𝜚

‣ When you two met he was totally shocked to find out you knew who he was

‣ Because oh my god?? You’re a fan of him?? And you’re HOT??

‣ You’re just his dream person actually

‣ He folded the moment you showed an ounce interest in him

‣ But he was really paranoid about becoming official, since he didn’t want you to have to deal with any harassment, even though you assured him it was fine and you two could take it slow

‣ Which was probably the reason it took a while to introduce you to most of his friends, and even longer to go public online

‣ Right after you two did some old tweets fangirling over him got found, leading you to being crowned the hottest Schlatt fan

‣ Once you two became public he brags about you CONSTANTLY

‣ Sure he already was did it in private, but now that everyone knew? Oh yeah he’s never shutting the fuck up

‣ Especially in private. Cute outfit? He’s mentioning it. New hairstyle? Yeah he’s already told you how well it suits you a million times actually. Look good for absolutely no reason? He’s making sure you know about it

‣ He’s actually just your #1 fan

‣ He also takes photos of you ALL THE TIME. For the first time you actually were consistently posting on instagram

‣ You started gaining fans too which was insane, since other than the rare pop up on stream you don't do much online

‣ And he’ll fight ANYONE who disagrees. Because how could they? You’re literally you. You do no wrong.

‣ He’s big on spoiling you

‣ Yes you looked at that some stuffed animal for two minutes at the mall, and yes he bought it for you

‣ Want some chocolate? Then you’re getting chocolate

‣ He’ll stare at you for ages and whenever you’re like “what” he acts all innocent

‣ You didn’t expect it but he’s actually so clingy

‣ He always has a hand on you. Your waist, your thigh, your ass, doesn’t matter, he’s grabbing it

‣ In conclusion your honor they’re in love idk

[sofs16]

clearly

pair lando norris x singer!reader

note if you guys want to decorate my tree with a little note, I’d appreciate it:,)

tree!

++ dont be a silent reader pls hehe

ln4updates

liked by 10, 475 others

ln4updates Lando goes live on twitch again and mentions his longtime crush, yn. (she’s a** — i got the subtitles wrong)

view all 261 comments

ynslover F1 and yn?!? 😭😭😭

norrizznutsz THE BUTTON UP O HTMGOFD

user73 if i was yn, i’d be dead. lando.jpg yn

⤷ ln4updates mans has no shame 😭

landonorris

tagged: yn liked by yn, and 7,373,383 others

landonoriss that’s a wrapppppp 😁

view all 263,383 comments

user33 the thirst trap right before the yn tagged slide 😭😭😭

yn congrats, lando 🧡🤍

⤷ landonorris thankyou so much! your music was my wakeup music

[ COMMENT DELETED ! ] ⤷ landonorris thank you so much, yn! your music was always blasting at the mclaren garage 🫡

⤷ yn awwww thank you AHAHAHA hope to meet you some time! ⤷ landonorris See you at your UK show :)

⤷ yn omg what!!!! see you soon!!!

⤷ carlossainz55 DMS exist

[(carlossainz55) landonorris: DELETE THAT CARLOS STOP SHUTUTP STOP]

[ COMMENT DELETED ! ]

⤷ yn AHAHAH, come in them then 😝

(LANDONORRIS) yn just followed you back!

[ (landonorris) carlossainz55: You’re welcome]

yn

uk, manchester

liked by landonorris, and 12,462,299 others

yn cop or drop???

view all 1,484,484 comments

landonorris cop 👮‍♀️

⤷ yn thought dms existed?? :)

⤷ user4 oh ITS HAPPENING. user44 lando thinks he’s real slick with commenting ‘cop’ 4 seconds after this was posted 😭

ynspeed yn’s response to lando’s thirst trap:

⤷ yn landonorris isn’t the only one who can do that

⤷ user2 i bet lando is dying rn

yn

manchester, uk

liked by landonorris, and 9,284,019 others

yn and that’s the end of the silence between songs tour 😵‍💫😵‍💫manchester, you are something else 🧡 i’m glad it was you closing this magical tour! thank you, thank you, thank you!

view all 463,585 comments

user3 the orange heart???? something is a little 🐟hy around here…

⤷ user4 I CANT WITH THE FISH EMOJI😭

ln4updddts WHERE’S OUR YNLANDO CONTENT!!

lando.jpg

liked by yn, and 3,586,203 others

lando.jpg I woke up happy, watched the sun rise. I wonder why

view all 219,456 comments

yn the I Wonder caption 🥹🥹🥹

⤷ lando.jpg Too good of an opportunity to not use it

yn i adore you

⤷ lando.jpg i adore YOU! ⤷ lnrizzyn theyre actually my parents. ⤷ ynsloverr lnrizzyn THE LAST SLIDE!!!!!

user39 THE FLOWERS!!! YNS FAV ARE TULIPS 🥹

ynsource

liked by landonorris, and 15,490 others

ynsource yn coming out backstage with her favorite tulips in hand! rumored to be given by landonorris

view all 95 comments

user484 HELLO???

ynsource

liked by landonorris, and 13,586 others

ynsource yn goes live on twitch again and mentions lando norris! view all 382 comments

uppyn landonorris are you okay? user37 YNLANDO NATION RISE!!!

landoyn4

liked by landonorris, and 21,927 others

landoyn4 LANDO NORRIS WHEN I CATCH YOU. HER WAITING FOR THE DM😭😭😭😭😭 HER SEEING OUT POSTS 😭😭😭

view all 918 comments

lllmclerc Lando liking the posts 😭

(99+) INSTAGRAM MESSAGES 𐙚˙✧˖°

— december 9, 2023

Lando Norris

i am sooooo sorry for not messaging sooner. i pussied out and thought you were joking about it:( please forgive me please

yn 🫧🤍

hi landooo! don’t worry about it:) sorry if i outed you online, i kind of pussied out as well to message you 😭 you just seemed interested so i didn’t know what to think after you came to the uk show last week with those flowers and you ghosted me

Lando Norris

No i feel even worse now. I really did want to hang out or go out with you (whichever you prefer) but, again, i pussied out… think we could have a redo?

and about the online thing, it’s totally alright, nothing they didn’t already know anyways 🤗

yn 🫧🤍

it’s alright and i would love to go out with you :)) what’s important is we were able to talk in our most random way possible 👍🏻

Lando Norris

do you mind if i get your number?

yn 🫧🤍

not at all! it’s xx-xxx- xxx

yn

liked by landonorris, and 15,976,019 others

yn sorry i haven’t been active :) i’ve been happier than ever

view all 2,811,092 comments

landonorris nice heart

⤷ yn thanks! ynlando 😵‍💫👀

landonorris

liked by yn, and 8,923,019 others

landonorris snow days ☃️

view all 3,869,028 comments

yn hey, nice heart! ⤷ landonorris your snow heart is better ☹️

ynlannn …

ynlannn HELLO?????? LANDO CAMCORDER -> POST OF YN FROM A CAMCORDER. THE HEART SNOW -> YN WITH HEART SNOW. THE COMMENTS. THE BOYFRIEND EFFECT IN THE 4TH PIC. SO MUCH TO UNFOLD AFTER 3 WEEKS OF SILENCE.

ynsource

liked by ln4, and 17,383 others

ynsource photos taken of yn by the paps this week! view all 1,982 comments

lnyln we’re all thinking the same thing, aren’t we..

⤷ynsource ynlando real and they’re on a ski trip🥹

landonorris and yn

liked by 19,294,064 others

landonorris and yn Lando is the photographer in the relationship, clearly. - yn 🧡

y/n/n is clearly the better looking one in the relationship, clearly - lando 🤍

view all 5,797,019 comments

yn hey! that last part isnt true ☹️

⤷ landonorris yes it is

⤷ yn thats a lie

⤷ landonorris you’re like the most beautiful person in this universe. what are you on

⤷ carlossainz55 Not even three months and disgusting in the comments already 😝

⤷ landonorris shhh dad

user4 THEYRS SOOOO🥹😝

ynslove i bet that first clip is yn for her 2nd leg of the tour 😵‍💫😵‍💫

user73 y/n/n?? she said she doesn’t like being called that except for her future partner UGHHHHDHAJAALALA

mclaren 🧡🧡🧡

#SOF : anotha lando fic!! bump on the tree 🤗

happy holidays! 🤍🤍

[world0fmadness]

⋆ ˚｡⋆ ✩ ˚ ALL IS FULL OF LOVE

max verstappen x musician! reader x ( platonic! ) oc daughter

featuring: teenage love and online dating

faceclaim: mako minami

୨୧ fluff overload! max and reader are both 17 in 2015, 18 in 2016 and so on! obviously max was nowhere near as famous when he was 17 so there isn’t any fan comments! i imagine reader to be around the same size of an artist as mako minami too, small but passionate

reading music recommendations: all is full of love by mako minami - chocolate by mako minami - virtual kiss by mako minami

2015 - kawaiikittiieyn: love life ≽ܫ≼ ! i love mine

maxverstappen: liefde! don’t drink so much, i am not there to look after you 😅

> kawaiikittiieyn: it’s apple juice :3 wish you were here maxie

> maxverstappen: wish i was there too yn… one day, soon, i promise 💞

2015 - kawaiikittiieyn: cats and friends and totally me and max in the third picture ฅ^._.^ฅ

maxverstappen: me and you forever 💕 🐈‍⬛

> kawaiikittieyn: forever and ever <3 🐈

2015 - kawaiikittiieyn: happy christmas to you all ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆

maxverstappen: happy christmas liefde! i hope you liked my gift to you 💝

> kawaiikittiieyn: happy christmas maxie ^_^ i loved your gift to me, did you love mine to you?

> maxverstappen: more than i can put into words 💓 my most favourite gift i’ve ever gotten from my favourite person

2016 - kawaiikittiieyn: hello kitty you’re so pretty ໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -｡꒱ྀི১

maxverstappen: pretty just like you ☺️ looks very “ kawaii ” ! i hope you had lots of fun liefde 💖

> kawaiikittiieyn: ^_^ it was very kawaii maxie <3 we will go together when you visit

> maxverstappen: we will 💞

2017 - kawaiikittiieyn: finally together, forever and ever ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა

maxverstappen: the feeling i got when holding you in my arms was like nothing i’ve felt before… i’ll love you forever and ever liefde 💓

> kawaiikittiieyn: being held in your arms felt like heaven, love you more forever and ever maxie ୨♡୧

2023 - kawaiikittieyn: some last studio work before i will be going on a break ^_^ princess is practicing her drawing skills for a future friend

loveuyn: a future friend… ?

> ynsteponme: another cat maybe?

> loveuyn: mmm… no… i’m sensing something more…

maxverstappen ✔️: her future friend will love her drawing skills liefde 💞

❤️ liked by kawaiikittieyn

> loveuyn: why are they being so cryptic 😭

> maxverstrapon: yeahhh… i feel like if this was just another pet they’d be much less cryptic

lewishamilton ✔️: can’t hair to hear the new music yn, no doubt it’ll be great as usual ❤️

❤️ liked by kawaiikittiieyn and maxverstappen

iluvf1: okay i know we’re all going batshit over what this “ future friend ” is but can as appreciate how good she looks? she’s glowing

> oldf1lvr: right… max you are one lucky fella

> loveuyn: you know why people “ glow ? ” it’s a word that begins with p…

2023 - kawaiikittiieyn: ‘ all is full of love ’ is out on all platforms now ^_^ i found out i was pregnant months ago now and started working on this song, sang with so much love from the heart to reach the womb <3 please listen here

lewishamilton ✔️: congratulations love! you’ll make a wonderful mum, absolutely beautiful song ❤️

❤️ liked my kawaiikittiieyn and maxverstappen

loveuyn: I KNEW IT!

> loveuyn: mom and dad are expecting an ACTUAL baby now omg… 🥹

> loveuyn: listening to the song, sobbing… this is too fucking sweet and god these pictures are beautiful

maxverstappen ✔️: i already know you will be the best mother our little dove could ask for 💕

❤️ liked by kawaiikittieyn

> kawaiikittieyn ✔️: as will you be the best father maxie <3 i can’t wait to see you holding her

❤️ liked by maxverstappen

> loveuyn: a little girl… i can’t 😭

> maxynforever: their little dove 💔

landonorris ✔️: right… fight for the favourite uncle begins now, congratulations max and yn!

> lewishamilton ✔️: no need to fight, we all know it’ll be me 🤷‍♂️

> danielricciardo ✔️: yeah right

> maxverstappen ✔️: you people are pathetic… checo is winning

> sergiochecoperez ✔️: 🙂

maxynforever: we’ve really seen them go from two lovey dovey teens to future parents 🥹

2024 - maxverstappen and kawaiikittieyn: our little dove, finally in our arms 💕

comments on this post are limited!

loveuyn: god… they’ve grown up for real now 🥹

lewishamilton ✔️: little dove is finally here! congratulations mate, gift basket should be there soon

> kawaiikittiieyn ✔️: we’ve already got so many gifts from you guys! we don’t have room for more but thank you lewis <3

> landonorris ✔️: mmm… that’s too bad because mine is on the way too…

> danielricciardo ✔️: and mine 😬

> sergiochecoperez ✔️: i have sent some more things for baby dove too max 🤩

> maxverstappen ✔️: yep… looks like i’ll be off building even more storage then, thanks mates 👍

⋆ ˚｡⋆ ୨୧ ˚ NEW ADDED BONUS ˚ ୨୧ ⋆｡˚ ⋆

little dove decked out in sanrio and lewis still fighting to be the favourite uncle

maxverstappen uploaded to his story!

[whyse7vn]

CARDBOARD BOX -

[ ot7 x reader ]

BTW ☠️😂

8 participants - 8 online

———————————

hobi: thinking about when we all lived together and jimin would make jungkook tap dance for food

jk: good times :D

namjoon: but jungkook cant tap dance?

jimin: exactly

namjoon: so you starved jungkook?

jk: no i tapped??

jin: horribly

jk: :(

tae: i liked it

jk: honestly 🥺?

tae: honestly

jk: :D

hobi: why is joon acting like he wasn’t there to witness it???

namjoon: sorry

i just tend to block out the traumatic memories i have with you guys

which is most of them

jin: jungkook was the one dancing for food not you

namjoon: being a witness to that was traumatic

yoongi: it was funny

jk: thank u

yoongi: no

namjoon: moving on

y/n: remember when jungkook would like disappear for 4 hours everyday and come back to the dorms at like 5 am

hobi: OMG YES

jimin: the era where he hated us 😪

yoongi: bring it back

jk: i didn’t hate you guys ☹️

tae: he was just getting his dick wet don’t worry about it

namjoon: he was barley 16?

tae: pussy slayer since 05 😝

namjoon: 05??

yoongi: he was 7 in 05

jin: victim since 05

jimin: jin was like 27 in 05

jin: ??unprovoked

and not fucking true

jimin: as long as you’re alive i’m provoked

y/n: 27 in 05 is crazy

jimin: i’m saying like 😭

hurry up and die maybe?

hobi: bros 31 ☠️

namjoon: ok stop guys

jin: fucking hate all of you

jk: omg it’s raining outside i’m so sad :((

tae: my fault stepped outside and mother nature just couldn’t contain herself

she freaky like that

hobi: paying for ur assassination

jk: what does that even mean

tae: the sky squirting for me bro

jk: oh

that’s nice didn’t know that was possible !!

can you make her stop tho

tae: tell namjoon to step outside and she’ll stop

namjoon: ???

tae: it will be hot and dry as shit if joon steps out ong

jk: namjoon pls step outside

namjoon: kook you need to stop taking tae’s word for things

jk: what

i take no words

i have my own

namjoon: nvm

y/n: life would be so much fun if one of you was a crack addict

jin: ????

yoongi: freak

hobi: real

jimin: namjoon is right here like….

namjoon: leave me ALONE

jk: i’ll be a crack addict for you

tae: i’ll be a better addict

jk: NO YOU WONT

tae: YES I WILL

y/n: shut up

jk: sorry ☺️💕💖

tae: i could so break jungkook’s legs

jk: ☹️

how will i tap?

hobi: you don’t need to tap anymore kook

ur free from that life

y/n: tap by taeyong

jimin: he may be free from tapping in this life but is the tapping life free from him?

yoongi: what

jimin: mentally jungkook is still my little tapping slut

jk: aw man ://

namjoon: did you need to call him a slut??

can we just be nice

jimin: yes i needed to call him a slut

he’s a slut

tae: he was sixteen tapping for you

ur calling a sixteen year old a slut

guys i think jimin is really weird for that actually

jk: me 2

jimin: so?????

you literally said he was fucking at 16 you indirectly called him a slut too

jk: right !!!!

tae: UMM NO???

i called him a pussy slayer actually

and that could mean anything

jk: like what?

tae: shut up jungkook

jk: ok

i’m sorry

it’s still raining

i’m upset

jin: anyways i think yoongi could be nicer

yoongi: ?????

y/n: yoongi’s great

jin: TO YOU

yoongi is actually really really mean and we need to talk about it

jk: i also think yoongi’s great !!

when i was sad about getting old and sick he told me i probably won’t get cancer and most likely die from getting stabbed at 30 on the 12th of december 3pm

namjoon: oh

y/n: yoongi….

yoongi: no cancer !!

jk: NO CANCER ^0^ !!!!!!

tae: yoongi being cold and mysterious will only get you so far in life

jk: yoongi don’t be cold

🔥🔥🔥

here

y/n: jungkook ur so silly

where are you

i want to bite you

jk: 😳

OMW HOME I PROMISE

WON’T BE LONG I SWEAR

jimin: take me back to the days where you had to buy bitches 46 plots of land and a horse to get pussy

i can’t do this being dumb ass hell shit

hobi: maybe ur just ugly idk??

jimin: ????

yo wtf

hobi????????????

hobi: who said that not me whatttt?

jin: that’s why taemin has jimin blocked

jimin: HE DOES NOT HAVE ME BLOCKED

yoongi: woah ok?

jimin: just saying

anyways

jin: ur ugly 😂

jk: beauty is subjective

yoongi: do you even know what that means?

jk: yes ofc ??

maybe…

no 😔

tae: subjective sex

namjoon: stop

tae: SUBJECT SEX

i class i would love to participate in

y/n: is this you telling us you don’t know how to have sex???

tae: NO

this is me telling you i love sex and partake in it often

hobi: stds

jk: i’m confused

why do you want to take a class on it then ???

y/n: right

you wanting to take a sex class implies you know little on the subject of sex actually

tae: SHUT THE HELL UP

jimin: nothing about my beauty is subjective btw

it’s fact

jin: that ur ugly

yoongi: lol

jimin: namjoon tell them i’m not ugly

namjoon: guys he’s not ugly

jin: he’s really ugly

y/n: namjoon tell tae to stop shouting

namjoon: taehyung stop shouting

tae: NO

NAMJOON TELL KOOK AND Y/N I KNOW HOW TO FUCK

namjoon: kook y/n taehyung knows how to fuck

hobi: namjoon i wont lie to you but u lowkey a bitch

jin: right

namjoon: thank you for that hobi and jin i also love you very much

jk: ohmygod joon loosing his mind again

that is NOT what they said

joon come back to us

fight this namjoon fight it

hobi: fighting by bss

yoongi: who fighting?

jimin: joon and his crippling coke addiction

coke winning

namjoon: can we not

tae: i’ll laugh when you overdose

y/n: exo core

namjoon: i just helped you what is ur issue??

jin: do you notice how yoongi appeared again when the word fighting was said????

we NEED to have this man locked up i’m telling you

yoongi: i’ll have you sectioned

jin: WHAT THE FUCK?????

NAMJOON TELL HIM TO TAKE THAT BACK

namjoon: yoongi take that back

please

yoongi: i take it back

jin: good

yoongi: not

jk: yikes jin he got you

yoongi ur really cool

yoongi: shut up

jk: sorry 😆

y/n: stop being mean

yoongi: cant help it :3

tae: who wants to see me split a watermelon with one hand

jk: ME ME

OHMYGOD ME I DO I DO

I WANT TO SEE

PLEASE SHOW ME PLEASE BEOFRE I PASSED OUT PLEASE

PICK ME TAE I WANT TO SEE ME MEMEMEMEMEMEMMEMEME

hobi: tae how is ur financial situation these days

tae: kill yourself

hobi: ok wtf???

i was just asking

tae: jungkook im sorry but no broken watermelon today blame hoseok

jk: hobi what the hell man i was really looking forward to the broken watermelon

y/n: i heard tae filed for bankruptcy

tae: NOT TRUE

jimin: i heard he lives in a cardboard box

tae: SHUT UP I DONT

jk: tae omg……… 😧

is this true

tae: NO OBVIOUSLY NOT

YOU WERE AT MY HOUSE YESTERDAY

AND I ORDERED US FOOD

jk: pls dont shout at me

i’m trying to remember if your house was a cardboard box or not

jimin: (it was)

tae: NAMJOON

namjoon: guys

jimin: ur no fun

y/n: sorry 😔

tae: yeah

you guys better be sorry

stupid idiots

jimin: shut up broke boy

namjoon: jimin please

jimin: whatEVER

tae: namjoon i don’t say this a lot because normally it wouldn’t be true but man i love you

guys i think me and namjoon were married in our past lives

cuz like were so in tune with each other

like he just gets me

i get him

i believe in every life we find each other

like we get married in every single life except this one

namjoon: no offence but in every life i would find you and divorce you if that were true

tae: oh

y/n: LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO

yoongi: lol

jimin: no i see it the crack addict and the broke bitch love story

tae: at least someone gets it

nvm

should of read the whole message first

u guys are just closed minded

im telling you me an namjoon are like super alike someone thought i was him yesterday and he was so real and right for that

jk: i thought you said that guy that called you rm in the park yesterday was a racist not real or right

tae: jungkook

jk: yeah ^0^

tae: stop talking rn

jk: okay😵

hobi: cocaine is like really expensive how would tae and joon work out

tae wont be able to help feed into joons addiction

y/n: why do you know that cocaine is expensive

hobi: i know a lot of things that just happenes to be one of them

jimin: if you think about it when have you ever seen a crackhead be like nah im not gonna have crack today

they make that shit happen no matter what

and i think thats what attracts tae and joon together

like joon will do anything and everything to get his fix and tae would do anything and everything to have a place to sleep so their hardworking nature is what leads them to love

yeah

jin: ok !!!!!!

jimin i think you need a hobby or something

that was…. a lot

yoongi: shut up

jin: WHAT DID I DO???? AM I WRONG OR DID YOU ACTUALLY ENJOY JIMINS MINI FANFIC LIKE?????????

yoongi: i’ll punch you

jin: and i believe that!

shutting up #now

hobi: i wish i was mark lee rn

he probably doing something really canadian as we speak

jk: like what?

hobi: idk being nice

jimin: you called me ugly five minutes ago

you could never be mark lee

hobi: that literally wasn’t me i have no idea what ur talking about sorry i’m actually mark lee rn so i fr don’t know what ur talking about dude sorry dude i have to go on stage and dance with nct 127 now and then i have vocal practice with nct dream right after so i’m sorry dude i like have zero idea what ur talking about like actually like a sticker 2 baddies beatbox

me as mark lee and scene

jk: 10/10 really believable idk mark lee but i really though you were him for a second

y/n: great performance thought mark was here fr almost kissed you passionately on the mouth

yoongi: what

hobi: thank u thank u

you can still kiss me tho haha lol as mark or not idm

y/n: ok omg come here!!!

hobi: FR?????

y/n: no !!!!!!

but i did imagine us kissing like last week for like five seconds

hobi: yesssss 🙌 😝

a win is a win

yoongi: its not a win

she threw up at the thought

y/n: no i didn’t

yoongi: yes you did

you told me

y/n: i DID’NT

stop trying to gaslight me

it wont work

tae: have you imagined me naked

jimin: liked it better when you weren’t talking

tae: i liked it when YOU weren’t talking

jimin: shut the fuck up

jin: how about you both shut the fuck up

jimin: now why are YOU talking again

yoongi beat the shit out of him

yoongi: nah dont want to

the thought of his face isn’t pissing me off anymore

jin: thank you <3

yoongi: i could punch hoseok tho

hobi: no thank you ???

y/n: yoongi has a framed picture of all of us on his bedside table that he hides whenever you all come over in case you find it

he also has each one of our debut photocards in a small little binder in his studio in a little safe

yoongi: not true bye

yoongi left “BTW☠️😂”

y/n added yoongi to “BTW☠️😂”

y/n: very true very real seen them with my very two eyes

yoongi: you wear glasses

that you don’t actually wear

so who knows what u be seeing

that is NOT true

y/n: i wear glasses to READ and you know that

so shut up

guys yoongi would punch none of you because he loves you very much ok? 😍💖💯

tae: yoongi do you kiss our picture goodnight be honest

yoongi: fuck off actually

namjoon: thats very sweet yoongi

we love you too

jin: i DON’T

i fear my life when i’m around yoongi picture by his bed or not

i’m shaking in my boots i’m scared

yoongi: pussy

jin: i’m telling you ever since he broke that poor woozi guys nose i have not looked at him the same

y/n: ok but that was a mistake right yoongi

yoongi: ?

y/n: it was

and besides has yoongi broken your nose?

jin: no but it’s coming

i know it

yoongi: true

jk: i feel safe around yoongi

yoongi: you shouldn’t

jk: because he hasn’t broken my nose

but jimin did punch me once

jimin: dont bring up my past

hobi: if we think about it jimin should be locked up

jungkook you can press charges you know?

jimin: CAN WE NOT TALK ABOUT ME AND WHAT I’VE DONE

like we were talking about how yoongi actually love us

lets get back to that

yoongi: jimin should be put behind bars

jimin: yoongi loves us

yoongi: jimin is a bully

jimin: YOONGI LOVES US

tae: i love you back yoongi

yoongi: kill yourself

jimin is a literal bully like actually

jimin: and ur a fake one cuz u love us

jk: jimin you are bully

yoongi: ur right jungkook

you are so right

jimin: jungkook yoongi loves you

that’s why he’s agreeing with you

jk: i love you too yoongi ^0^

yoongi: jungkook jimin is bullying you

has been since you were 16

jk: ohmygod……..

jimin: jungkook yoongi has a photocard of you that he’s probably decorated and everything just cuz he cares so deeply about you

jk: he does????????

namjoon: ok both of you stop

jimin you ARE a bully

and yoongi its ok that you actually like us you should stop pretending you don’t

jimin: I AM NO BULLY

yoongi: i like not one of u 😒

namjoon: yeah ok

jk: GUYS OHMUGOD

tae DOES LIVE IN A CARDBOARD BOX I REMEMBER NOW 🤯🤯😨

tae left “BTW☠️😂”

—

think of this as a flash back/ forward idk of the good happy times ok? ok thank u >_<

sorry for the shit ending i just really like the first part and wanted to post

tags: @piw6n @92jinnies @birdie-vhs @kooksmilitarywife @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizza1 @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf @bbsantc @winuvs @medicinemybish @bxnnyhime @leleluvsbts @baetukki @zyaaaszn @thelilbutifulthings @jazminethecreator @k4ngelz @jmnscutie @threeopossumsinacoat @cynicalyoongs @lightningpussy54 @eunthv @gigiiiiislife @lowkeykin @elissasimp @socksfirstalways @knjlvr06 @lailaisarmy @thvkives @xstfudaisyx @xxxanimangxxx @solstice34 @ml8dy @hoeforseoks

[anothermansjeans]

not sure if you’re taking requests but i would love to see a part two to the singer!reader, like maybe the team all goes to her concert together! thank you!

HI!! i'm so glad the people loved the first singer!reader blurb!! this is a part 2 to the first one, and while the whole team isn't at her concert, i added penelope in!! i have plans for when the team first meets reader which will be in a separate blurb! hope you enjoy :)

cw: spencer and penelope at reader's concert :) a swear word (1), spencer is flustered

wc: 2k (i may have over done it)

singer!reader masterlist

++

Spencer sat in the cold police precinct in Philadelphia with JJ, Rossi, and Penelope (she was a vital resource, needing to come with the team on this case), counting down the minutes until Hotch, Derek, Emily, and a few Philly officers came back with the unsub in custody. As soon as they got back and the case was deemed closed, he could go and see you.

Obviously, he went to your concert last night, had you stay over, and slept in as much as possible before you had to leave for your next stop on tour and Spencer had to get to the office. The reason he was so hellbent on seeing you tonight as well is because when you're touring and he does his regular BAU job, the two of you barely see each other. Your tour kicked off three months ago, starting in Europe, and he didn't get to visit any of those shows, so when the U.S leg came around, he wanted to be as present as possible.

That too, was very hard.

Spencer loves his job, really, he does, but when he plans on using the allotted resting days the team gets after a case to visit you, and ends up getting called in anyway… he has grown some resentment over the time. So now– here in Philadelphia, where you are– he plans on missing out on the trip back with the team and instead, watch your show again. The only other thing in the back of his mind right now were the words of your last text to him.

Y/N: OH MY GOD OKAY!! i’m so happy you can make it, spence 🫶

Y/N: omg PLEASE invite that friend of yours too!! i'm so sorry she couldn't get tickets for d.c :(

When Spencer initially told you about Penelope and how she ousted your relationship just from a video online, you completely lost it. In a “oh my God, I'm going to piss my pants, I’m laughing so hard” kind of way. Your exact words to him when he was on the phone with you as he sat in his hotel room. You didn't have a problem with his friends and family knowing. You actually encouraged him to let his closest people in, but he valued you and how you wanted to keep him out of the public eye as much as possible, so he simply didn't say anything to anyone. The respect you have for each other is insanely beautiful.

So he felt as though he was between a rock and a hard place. He wanted to let the team in. They're his family, but once he lets them in– once he invites Penelope to this free concert offered by his girlfriend, he was losing an extra security blanket in keeping your wishes. He knew your wishes were solely there to benefit him and his job and her personal life, but it was still something that worried you to the point of breaking down every once in a while, and he would do everything in his power to make sure that doesn't happen again.

When those who went out to obtain the unsub came back, Spencer stood up, knowing once they got the confession they were done, and went to idly walk by the desk Penelope was sitting at.

“Yes, Mr. Into You. how can I help you?” She smirked at her words, causing Spencer to roll his eyes.

“You don't know that song is about me.” Her deadpan expression caused Spencer to sigh, “okay, fine. Anyway, I was wondering if you had plans for tonight. Like, after the case.”

Placing her hand on her chest, she batted her eyelashes. “Well, sweets, I'm flattered, but I don't think your girlfriend would be too happy.”

“Penelope.”

“Sorry!”

Wringing his fingers together, Spencer bit the inside of his cheek. “Y/N has a concert here in Philadelphia–”

“I’m well aware.”

“And she told me to invite you along tonight. She’s sorry you couldn't get tickets to D.C.”

A gasp left her lips and she stood to her feet quickly, “oh my lanta!” The volume of her voice caused chatter to quiet around them, and she sheepishly smiled at everyone, “sorry! But oh my– Spencer, are you joking? Because if you are, this is cruel and unusual punishment, Dr. FBI man.”

“It’s not a joke, Pen.”

“Eek!” She threw her arms around his neck without thinking, and Spencer, while he hesitated at first, eventually welcomed the hug. “Thank you so much!”

“You can thank her when you meet her.”

“Meet her–? I– oh…” Her eyes went wide with excitement, “I am so excited!”

And so was he. He didn't show it until the two of them got there though. You were very busy getting ready before the show, so when your manager met him and Penelope in the back of the venue, he insisted that the two of them went straight to your friends and family section and that he could see you afterwards. The excitement in his eyes became very apparent the moment the opening chords to your song Positions. Penelope was singing and dancing, while Spencer did his signature head bop– that's how you knew you made a good song.

it was about halfway through the set when you got to Nonsense, a song everyone looked forward to. You did a different outro every stop of the tour. Yesterday’s outro was a very colorful depiction of him and his… skills in the bedroom because you knew he was going to be there. There was no way he’d be embarrassed again.

“This song’s catchier than chicken pox is

I bet your house is where my other sock is

Woke up this morning, thought I’d write a pop it

How quickly can you take your clothes off, pop quiz?

There's a lot to do out here in philly

My man came here so he can come and feel me

His body keeps me warm, I'm never chilly.”

You laughed as you looked over to the family and friends section, and immediately recognized the face you love becoming tinted with red by the minute. A couple songs later, you performed one of your newest songs, Vigilante Shit. You were the most excited for this portion of your set when you added it after it first released. You were on break after the Europe leg and couldn't stop going over all of the choreography, Spencer being the very first person not on your team to watch, and he thought it was incredible (even if it was with a kitchen chair in his living room).

When performing, you always put on your best show, but sometimes, if Spencer’s in the audience, you amp it up a bit. Which is what you did now. One of the moves involved having a leg propped up on the chair and slinking your hand down your body. When Spencer was there, you went extra hard with the facial expressions, giving it more sexuality. You also made sure to roll your body and stick your ass out a bit more whenever you stood up from the chair, making sure you're giving him a good view. It’s what your boyfriend deserved.

And while you always thought you were doing good by him (because he would never tell you otherwise), he was always as red as a tomato– especially now with Penelope next to him, moving her phone camera between you and him, capturing the dance and his reaction. He felt his warm cheeks begin to cool when you moved onto your next song, but that flush inevitably came back the moment you picked up your guitar for the acoustic set and shifted your eyes towards him.

“We are now moving onto the acoustic set!” The crowd went wild, as always, and you continued, “tonight is actually a little different… I’ll still sing ‘Picture You’ and ‘Dress’, but I wanted to add a new one.” You began strumming your guitar gently, “It’s not released yet, but I have someone here I want to dedicate it to… this one’s about you, you know who you are. I love you.”

“Oh my God!” Penelope once again whipped out her phone, but all Spencer could do was stare at your trembling hands as you continued to strum.

“Oh, no, did I get too close?

Oh, did I almost see what's really on the inside?

All your insecurities

All the dirty laundry

Never made me blink one time”

He held his breath as you continued to sing.

“Unconditional, unconditionally

I will love you unconditionally

There is no fear now

Let go and just be free

I will love you unconditionally”

And he released the air from his lungs.

“Come just as you are to me

Don't need apologies

Know that you are worthy

“I’ll take your bad days with your good

Walk through the storm, I would

I do it all because I love you

I love you”

And as you continued with the song, Spencer felt tears well up in his eyes. Of course, he didn't let any of them fall, slyly wiping them as Penelope was putting her phone back away.

You had about 2 songs left when Spencer spotted one of your security guys discreetly getting his attention so that he could go backstage. He tapped Penelope on the shoulder, and tilted his head towards the guy. “We’re gonna watch the rest of the show backstage if that's okay?”

Mouth opening and shutting, she nodded her head, following the two men in front of her. Spencer could tell Pen felt out of her element back there with the rest of the crew, especially knowing that in about thirty seconds now, you were going to be saying your goodbyes and head off stage.

“Thank you so much, Philadelphia! I had a wonderful time. Thank you to my band, and my dancers. The amazing audio techs and the entire crew that keeps this show running! Have a great night!”

Running towards them, you gave Spencer a big smile before leaping into his arms to give him a hug. “Hi. You were incredible,” you felt him mutter against your neck.

“Hi. Thank you,” you muttered back, only staying in his arms a second longer so that you could greet the other guest. “Hi, I’m Y/N!”

“H-Hi! I’m Penelope!” Not knowing what to do, she stuck out her hand, but you brushed it aside, opting for a hug instead.

“I’m more of a hugger.”

She laughed and gave you a nod as you released each other. “Me too.” She looked between you and Spencer for a moment with a wide grin. “You're even prettier in person. You're also incredible, and your music is amazing and I love everything about you.”

“You're too sweet,” you gave a pout when thinking of her words, “you're gorgeous as well! And I love this dress! Spencer has told me all about you and the rest of the team.”

The three of you continued to chat for a bit, and once you noticed the crew packing things up, you turned towards Penelope and gave her a smile. “Do you want to go out with us? We were just gonna grab dinner.”

“Oh, no! I have someone picking me up.”

“Are you sure?” Spencer furrowed his eyebrows.

“Yes, boy genius, I’m sure. Derek stayed behind so that he could get me back to Quantico. Oh! You need to meet the rest of the team sometime.”

You immediately agreed, squeezing Spencer’s hand so he knows to introduce you to everyone else soon. “One hundred percent.”

“Anyway, I will let you two love birds go. Have a nice night, and I’ll see you at the office, Spencer!”

After getting security to show Penelope where to go to leave, Spencer turned back towards you and pulled you back into his arms. He has never felt so loved in his life, and thinking about you, and that song, and everything life has to offer him at the moment caused the unshed tears from before to finally fall.

“Spencer, are you okay?” You pulled back to see the tears, and cupped his face, “baby, why are you crying?”

“The song was beautiful.”

He didn't answer you explicitly, but from his words mixed with the reaction you knew what was going on. “Thank you… I love you so much,” you said, wiping his cheeks.

“Unconditionally?”

You scoffed and shook your head. “Of course silly.”

++

singer!reader taglist: @itsleilabxtch @wietske27 @taylorswiftilovecowboylikeme @marshatesthisreality @ladylincoln @delightfulmakerpiegiant (tagged some people based in interest! lmk if you want to be taken off the taglist!)

let me know if you would like to be added or removed!

[yuzurins]

streamer!suna x streamer!reader - this was so self indulgent and badly written in my notes app but it’s ok i want to be back here bc tumblr is fun haha

“me? and y/n?” suna scoffed, face showing no hint of reaction. “now that’s too much, you guys are overthinking it.”

he mumbled, deep in concentration, as his eyes darted back and forth from his game to the rapidly moving chat screen.

**h789: don’t act like we didn’t see you build a whole house for her!!!

**n.m**y: you literally got her a whole tank of axolotls THOSE THINGS TAKE SO MUCH TIME TO GET

su**: the flowers MAN the flowers 😞

**be*17***: and the list goes on…

suna rolled his eyes and let out a small laugh. “were you guys here when i literally blew the house down and kidnapped all the axolotls?? it was an elaborate plan to prank her and make her scared of course.”

miya**sam**: shut up bro😭

mk**j1*: 🫢🫢🫢

g****0a: SUNA THE BIG FAT BULLY

su**: he’s bullying her bc he likes her

miya**sam**: ewww how sadistic of him

uu**720**n*: IT TAKES TWO??? HELLO???

luvv**esu***0: nah guys he’s dating me why would he be with y/n

k*tss**k: imagine being delulu

**h789: my bae yn too good for him she’s thousands times better than u

a look of disgust crosses his face.

luvv**esu***0: stop he just doesn’t know it yet!!

su**: just stop it’s so embarrassing t-t

h**y*vs*: are you sure guys

h**y*vs*: feels like sunarin wouldn’t be that mean to his girlfriend :(

“no literally, i hate her guts.” he paused the game he was currently playing, opened up a new tab and searched up “sunarin being mean to y/n”

scrolling down the long page of search results, he stared at the camera with a face that screams “told you so” and laughed.

“chat, you guys can fantasize all you want, but just know that there’s tons of evidence online that can prove you all wrong in less than a second, so it’s just funny seeing you all believe that me and her are actually dating-“

now as if on cue, you burst into the room in your pajamas and dashed over to the boy sitting by the computer.

suna flinched and turned around immediately, panic starting to overcome his face. “what the-“

“RINNNN PLEASE PLEASE PLEAAAASEEEE CAN WE GET A CAT I REALLY WANT A CAT SO BADDDD I PROMISE ILL TAKE CARE OF IT AND CLEAN UP ALL OF ITS POOP I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLYYY JUST WANT A CAT ITS BEEN MY DREAM ALL MY LIFE!!!!!” you blabbered nonstop as you clung onto his arm, not giving suna a chance to interrupt you at all.

“y/n what are you talking about i’m kinda streaming right now-“

“IF YOURE SCARED ILL STOP LOVING YOU AFTER WE GET THE CAT I WONT I PROMISE I REALLY DO SO Please don’t say—” seeing the look on his face, you turned around to see the thousands of people spamming the chat, finally realizing what he was trying to tell you and shrunk down in disbelief. “no….”

miya**sam**: told you so

miya**sam**: hi y/n!! 🤣

su**: OMG

mk**j1*: NEOJDDIJDJC NO WAYYY

**h789: SHES ADORABLE I LOVE YN

g****0a: STRIMMER EXPOSED

atsu**b*****: LOLOLOL

suna immediately turns his webcam and microphone off.

your boyfriend scowls as you give him an innocent smile.

uh oh, busted.

[koolades-world]

hello sorry if your requests are closed pls feel free to ignore this if they are :(

i just got this nice idea and wanted to share it and maybe you could do hc idkkkk anywayy !!

so imagine a mc but they're a poc (black, asian, whatever) and they always felt kinda like an outcast in the human world bc they lived in a white neighbourhood and now they're in the devildom and... wow Mammon, Simeon, Mephisto ?! (and maybe Dia and Raphael too cuz they can be mixed or something)

Like I am japanese and I live in europe and in my whole life I've interacted with like 3 or so poc ?? That's sooo little! I would be overjoyed to meet people (demons) that aint white- there is some common experience shared with all poc and i just need that 'bound' with someone lool

Anyway sorry this kinda sounded like a rant by the end but yea! even if you don't do it its ok! Have a nice day and ily !/p ♡

hello!! of course :)

i only moved once when i was younger but both neighborhoods were predominantly white, and i don’t think I’ve ever had a close poc friend that wasn’t an online friend. in middle and elementary i was one of like three or four pocs. high school was better but since I was a magnet kid, i always saw the same people and they were majority white. I’m almost certain I was the only mixed one in that program

bottom line, i can relate haha

enjoy <3

Poc Mc and the poc boys

poc solidarity!

of course the first demon you see is Diavolo, and while you don’t trust him right off the bat because you’ve just been basically abducted for this program, it’s nice to see a poc in charge

since mammon is assigned your caretaker, of course you’re quick to form a friendship

when he learns about your childhood since that comes up at some point, he goes oddly silent and listens carefully when you tell your stories

eventually he himself opens up a little about what it was like in heaven and his experience

gonna break format for a minute, simeon and I would be such good friends, besties even. a writer, very kind, a great baker and cook, a great fashion sense, and he looks like me? omg sign me up we’re twins. there is such a thing as two pretty best friends lol

simeon is so naturally effortless but sweet, so it wasn't hard to become his friend

he's more than happy to help you where ever needed

after you get over the whole kidnapping thing, you become fast friends with dia because he's just so wonderful to be around

and he's more than happy to be your friend because the poor guy doesn't have enough. he'll take you to do all sorts of fun stuff and even if your pictures together end up everywhere online, he doesn't care

you also are a little reluctant to warm up to mephisto because of what lucifer had said about him, but diavolo spoke highly of him, so you spent a couple afternoons with him

and you found yourself very interested in him and the rad newspaper, left wondering why lucifer hated him so much

if you want, you're more than welcome to help out and of course receive credit where credit is due

it was also kind of intimidating to get close to raphael too since he seemed so tough and unapproachable, but he was actually great to have a late night talk with and helped you out with any kind of fashion dilemma

maybe the devildom isn't so bad after all...

[riggedbones]

making a dashboard simulator post from my octopus world that is so inscrutable .

2 notes

🐕 themodernwisdom

stop fucking telling me it’s problematic to have “humans dni” on my carrd none of you understand how traumatizing a symbiosis breakup can be.

👨‍💻 typical-hue-man follow

traumatizing for who 🤨 lmao you weren’t even the one dependent on them for survival

🐕 themodernwisdom

do you not know what dni means.

#blocked. #youd think after all these millennia they’d evolve some reading comprehension

52 notes

⚡️ psychiclesbian

like i don’t esp like how often were asked about our sex life but like yea i mean they’re right. tentacles 👍👍

#minors dni #like if they rly want to know just find an octopus whos dtf not that hard #i mean. okay maybe a bit hard. but idk they’re online sometimes?

3 notes

🎛 oldstructuremusings

just got the most insane piece of fanmail what the fuck. why is this child learning local human language from my radio show. in the middle of the fucking ocean. apparently they can’t pick anything else up that isn’t the occasional raven station but like i feel like i have some sort of responsibility to not teach this kid how to say fuck every five seconds.

#text #its probably too late tbh #if the kid is seeing this. get off of tumblr

12 notes

🦋 lonesomedreamer 🔁 why-no-pigeon-emoji follow

🐦 why-no-pigeon-emoji follow

does anyone know how human symbiosis works i saved this guys life right after his cat friend died and i think he is getting attached. or something.

🚧 mazemaster follow

ur not a dog or cat ur fine.

🦋 lonesomedreamer

it’s a common misconception, but humans can actually form symbiotic bonds with any sapient creature, actually! the relationship mostly helps with their social and mental requirements, and if there are enough humans in an area to form a community, they’re actually not at all reliant on forming interspecies symbiotic relationships! doesn’t really happen where i’m from though, i think last i heard there are maybe 6 humans in the area max 😅

🐦 why-no-pigeon-emoji follow

everyone stfu he made us matching outfits im gonna cry

#omg this is so cute 🥺 #i'm glad things worked out

5,923 notes

🌿 grasstoucher 🔁 toogenericusername follow

🐚 molluskfan12 follow

currently keeping some smaller snails atm after you-know-what >_> their shells are a more fragile but the meat is better imo. hope it'll work out still!!

���� aviandinosaurs follow

cottagecore bloggers off the shits lmao what is this

🐚 molluskfan12 follow

what the fuck is a cottagecore

10,239 notes

⚡️ psychiclesbian 🔁 undereclipse follow

🗼 prehistoric-structures follow

i'm curious!!!

🌅 sundownscare follow

op i appreciate the button for humans in theory but are you under the impression that we don't show up in our own creation myths???

🕸️ veryseriousmonkey follow

maybe they just want to know about other species, like humans appearing in their own myths is p much a given lol

🗼 prehistoric-structures follow

oh yeah thats... totally why that's there

#they forgor 💀

42,143 notes

🌿 grasstoucher

do you think they had discourse like this pre climate disaster like it was just humans at that point how bad could it rly be

[stilljuststardust]

Hello! I have a question about Living in the 4D. If for example I’m manifesting a million dollars and I’m supposed to assume I already have that money and I’m supposed to live as like I already have my desires but if the 3D is showing I only have 2$ in my bank account how am I supposed to live as if I’m rich and can spend all kinds of money. If I was living with that money I would be spending it ykwim? I’m sorry if that doesn’t make much sense😅

Thank you for answering if you decide to and I love your blog! Your advice has been so helpful to my journey and I can’t thank you enough!:)

Hi love, you're overthinking it❤️

THINK as if not spend as if because the 3D doesn't matter

Living in the end doesn't mean you have to spend all your money and buy a bunch of stuff it means reminding yourself whenever money comes up that you are rich.

The 3D doesn't matter so what you're doing within it doesn't matter. You can be working at 7/11 in your 3D physically but in your 4D you're on a YACHT, IN DUBAIII.

The 4D is your internal world so don't obsess over the 3D even if what you're obsessing over is your actions within it.

Do I think it can be good to take action towards your desire if you can help it? Yes but that is situational, not a requirement, and if taken too literally can be unhelpful.

The 3D doesn't matter so it's OK if you have to act certain ways in the 3D. You can be budgeting and paying rent but still affirm in your head.

it's OK if you have to go to work, it's OK if you can't buy that thing you wanted you just have to THINK as if you're rich.

You don't have to overspend to prove your desire because you don't need ANYTHING to prove it.

Don't worry about if you're acting like you have it, are you THINKING like you have it.

"If I had it I'd be spending it"

1: spend it in the 4D then

2: if you actually had it you wouldn't obsess over if your purchases reflect that

The 4D is about your internal world so why would what you're doing physically in the 3D matter?

Save things to a Pinterest board and tell yourself it's online shopping and that's actually your cart, look at the 2 cents in your bank and say to yourself "omg I have 20,000 dollars" because that's all it takes.

It's free to buy things in the 4D you literally just have to think about how you have it and you totally just bought it.

[helixobesity]

🌀 “Perfect~” 🌀

“You already finished?”

“God piggy, what have I done to you?..”

I mean, we met years ago online

“Hey!! Just wanted to see if you were around to chat for a bit?”

“Hi hi! What’s up?”

“Well… I guess I just had some questions about what feedism was?”

Now look at you

That overflowing gut

The way every inch of your body sags

“Hey soooo… I think your encouraging is actually making me gain weight?”

“Well, why wouldn’t it? You keep watching those videos I send you don’t you?”

“Of course I do!”

“Good, why don’t you get something else to eat, my treat this time~”

You must’ve been… a third of your current weight?

Fuck you can’t even look at the scale yourself anymore

“OMG OH FUCK I JUST RIPPED MY OLD SHORTS”

“God I’m making you into such a fatass~”

“…”

“Too much?”

“…I… I don’t think it’s far enough…”

I watched as you gave up going to the gym

I kept you from going out and doing anything remotely physical

Your hobbies slowly degraded into your new addiction

“Mmmcan we call while I eat? I… I like hearing your voice”

“Of course piggy~ but you have to promise to eat everything”

“YES, literally anything”

“Maybe you should’ve waited until I told you I just sent some more over there~”

“Oh fuck… well… I don’t want to disappoint you?”

It was adorable watching you sink

Watching you grow obsessed

Watching you grow fatter

“Did you order your ticket yet??”

“All ready and just need to get packed! God I… I’m honestly scared..”

“What’s up? Is everything okay or Do you need to cancel??”

“No, no it’s… I just hope I’ve gotten fat enough for you 💜”

Then I really put you in your place

I watched your eyes roll back as I fed you

I saw every inch of your body

And how I’d made every inch so much softer

“I…do you like it?”

“Like it? Piggy… I’m so so so happy right now…”

“Hehe… does that mean I’ve.. *urp* earned my treat?”

“Oh you’ve earned more than just dessert piggy, now come here~”

But when you left

The gains didn’t stop

It furthered your motivation

So you came back

And back again

Until we finally made it work more permanently

“Aw piggy, what’s wrong?”

“Can’t… find… remote…”

“Oh stop moving around and getting yourself all worked up, that’s why I’m here to take care of you remember? Now go back to eating piggy~ let me find it”

“Mmmmkay..”

I don’t remember when it happened

But obesity broke your brain

And the way you constantly smile at me

Content with your forever skyrocketing weight

It made my heart flutter like nothing else ever will

“You already finished?”

“God piggy, what have I done to you?..”

“You made me yours silly”

“You made me fatter”

“You made me perfect~”

🌀💿🌀💿🌀💿🌀💿🌀💿🌀

[pattypanini]

Lay All Your Love On Me Chapter 5- Rules

Josh Kiszka x Reader AND slight Jake Kiszka x Reader

Word Count: Around 4k

AN: Hi everyone! Here is the fifth chapter of Lay All Your Love On Me from me and @mar-rein12! Thank you so much for all the support, we appreciate it all. Here is the taglist incase anyone wants to be added to it: TAGLIST. This is our last 'smaller' chapter but its filled with lots of good stuff. We hope you enjoy chapter 5, Rules.

Also get ready for smut because it doesn't end from here, only gets worse. LOL. And get more use to Jake, because we’re going to be seeing a lot more of him soon 😘

Next chapter coming this Thursday!

Warnings: 18+, SMUTTTTT, Unprotected sex, Tit fondling, Fingering, Oral (F receiving), Angst, Flirting, Cursing, Hickeys, Alcohol, not good coping mechanisms, jealousy, heavy petting. (lmk if i forgot anything!)

Y/n’s POV:

Walking to class the next morning was an experience. You both ended up sleeping through the alarm and had to get ready at his house. So that meant having to go to class in his sweats and t-shirt from last night. Charlotte wasn’t the happiest that you didn’t walk with her to class, in fact you ended up being half an hour late to your lecture, but telling her about the night distracted her from her anger.

“He may or may not have eaten me out..” You raise your eyebrows, as you tilt your cold brew up to your lips, taking a swig. 

“WHAT THE FUCK!” Charlotte covers her mouth to keep her drink in. 

“Char, quiet down please. I don’t think all of Starbucks wants to know about my night,” you scolded her with a chuckle. It had become routine to go to Starbucks after your first class due to the break you both had before your next one. 

“Well… how was it? Was he good?” Charlotte presses. 

“It was really good. A lot better than I expected, I’ll say that. His talkativeness definitely translates into the bedroom.”  

“Omg, I bet you're looking forward to practicing now. I mean you guys are, like, practically married at this point.” She wiggles her eyebrows at you, in a teasing manner. 

To be honest you weren’t looking forward to practice this afternoon knowing that Lindsey would be expecting a cover of your adventures of last night, and that Josh would be listening to it to hear what you rated his performance. So fucking cocky. 

“Umm yeah, sure I guess I’m excited.” You respond, knowing you were completely lying to her.

You finish your drinks and say your goodbyes, making your way to your hour and a half long class that you would spend most of the time online shopping. 

—

First week of April 2023- Spring Semester- Junior Year

The rest of the week, practice goes fairly smooth. It was now the beginning of April and you were enjoying your time at practice, feeling very confident in your role. You still had a little over a month before the real deal but everyone was making good progress. But of course something was nagging at you. Josh was still talking and flirting with that bitch, Sophia. Yeah you were a little jealous, but so was she. She wanted Josh so bad and can’t take seeing Josh being flirty with you. 

When everyone was trying out, Sophia explained that she would be soooo perfect for the role of Sophie. Apparently, she's not as perfect as she thinks because you’re the one that got the lead. Guys only want her because she has a fat ass, but she’s just a fucking airhead. All looks, no brains and definitely no personality. She was very rude to everyone she met except for guys. You didn’t understand how Josh couldn’t see that. Or maybe he did, and he just wanted you to get jealous. Asshole.

By the time it hit Friday you were so done with the week. You were kinda excited to hangout with Josh this weekend since you barely talked during the week, but you couldn't seem too desperate. 

You walk over to Josh who is still talking to Sophia way after practice ended to talk to him about the weekend. “Hey Sophia, are you done talking to Josh?”

“I’m actually not sooo.”

“It was a rhetorical question dumbass soooo, bye.” You give a bitchy smile, sending her on her way. Josh turns to you with a confused look on his face. 

“Uhhh what the fuck y/n?”

“Did you really have any interest in what she was saying, because your body language alone shows literally anything but interest.”

He rolls his eyes, waiting for what you have to say.

“Are we hanging out this weekend?”

“Why so desperate for me y/n? Did Monday night really change you.” He says smirking, eyeing you up and down.

“Sorry for wanting to be around you, besides I can’t be hanging out with anyone else, but you don’t seem to be holding up your end of the bargain so I guess it doesn’t matter. So what are you doing tonight?”

“I’m going to the Alpha Delta Phi house tonight for their party, but you're not coming, those guys would be all over you.”

“Is Sophia coming?”

“Yeah but only because she heard I was going, but you're not coming.”

“Okay fine. I’ll just call Mark to have him over. See you on Monday.” You turn, beginning to walk away before you feel a hand grab your shoulder, turning you Josh’s way.

“No you're not!” He says looking deep into your eyes with anger, and jealousy. “If you're coming you're staying with me, got it?”

You nod your head with innocence and leave without another word. Tonight was going to be fun, and Josh would finally realize why no other girl could ever replace you.

JOSH’s POV:

The shower was relaxing, especially after a week of long practices and stupid classes. You just wanted to unwind and get a little drunk at tonight's party. You weren’t super thrilled when Sophia said she wanted to come to the party, not that you care about her being around everyone. You just didn't want to hear her yap all night, that was your job. 

You wanted to pick out an outfit that you knew y/n would like, but she really hasn’t expressed what she likes on you, so you opted to stick with your basics, a white t-shirt, khaki shorts, and high top white vans. 

You quickly shoved your pen in your pocket and keys and you and Jake started heading towards the main road. You texted y/n that you would meet her outside the frat house at 11:15 before you went in. You wouldn’t let her walk into that damn house alone, even though she probably has a million times.

The walk to the house was quiet. Jake has obviously been flirting with y/n, but she wasn’t reciprocating it so you didn’t worry. When you finally got there you waited outside and sent y/n a text. 

11:13pm Josh: We’re here, where are you?

11:13 pm y/n: I’m on the street, chill.

You waited a moment and scrolled on your phone until you felt a tap on your shoulder. You turn to see her. Holy shit. She was pure beauty. Y/n stands there wearing a plum corset top with black leather pants and black docs. Her long hair was curled loosely and fell over her shoulders perfectly. Her makeup was gorgeous and perfectly accentuated her features. You hadn't realized how long you had been staring for before y/n said something. 

“Josh, hello? Are you good?” She flashed her perfect, white teeth at you.

“Oh yeah, we can head in.” You notice her necklace is off centered and reach forward to fix it, lining the initial in the middle of her collarbone. 

“Thanks Joshy.” She smiles at you and makes her way up the stairs as you turn to look at Jake.

“Pick your jaw off the floor Jake, she's not yours bud.”

“We’ll see about that, brother.” He pats you on the back, a stupid smirk plastered across his face, following y/n’s footsteps.

I’m gonna kill him. 

-

Something about tonight made you think you were going to need a fair amount of alcohol. You make your way to the kitchen where bottles are scattered across the counter tops. The rooms were dark and overstimulating with all the music and people. You make your way across the room on the creaky floors into the kitchen. You grab a cup for you and y/n and attempt to find her in the ocean of people. When you finally find her dancing with some of her friends you tap her and hand her her drink. 

“Thanks Joshyyy.” She smiles, takes a sip, and continues to dance. She already seems a little tipsy.

“Did you drink already?” You ask, taking a sip of your own drink.

“I meannnn, I had a few shots before I came, but I’m tot-ally in control.” She says slurring her words. She grabs you by your shirt pulling you into her, forcing you to dance with her. In her drunken state, you feel a splash of something soak into your white shirt. “Josh, oh my god, I’m sorryyy.”

“Fuck. Uh, it’s fine,” You were pissed, slightly embarrassed as well. Annoyed, you stomp away from her to find some napkins.

As you enter the kitchen, you locate the napkins and look over to y/n’s direction. You see she’s already found another guy. She leans her head on the mystery man’s shoulder, loudly speaking into his ear. 

“My number is 517, wait, that's not close. Um, haha. Uh, 273- 5. Wait fuck- its actually 274,” she screams into his ear, laughing hysterically. “The last four digits are-”

You’ve had enough, you race towards her leaning into her ear. “What did you not understand about our deal?” You say through gritted teeth, speaking just loud enough so only she could hear. 

“I’m only being nice. Cool it.” She snaps back at you, defensively. 

“Fine. I guess I can be ‘nice’ too, hm?” You walk away from her, beginning to regret letting her come along. You grab your pen from your pocket and take a quick hit, followed by another sip of the mixed drink. You make your way to the dance floor, looking for her. When your eyes spot her, you quickly make your way over.

You reach your hand out to her, inviting her to dance with you. “ Care to dance?” You offer her a syrupy, sweet smile. Your eyes plead with her to say ‘yes’.

“I thought you’d never ask,” Sophia takes your hand and you guide her so her back is pressed against your front. The song Kill The Lights begins to blare through the speakers, undoubtedly rupturing anyone’s eardrums who were in close vicinity. The strobe lights flicker around the, otherwise, dark room. Your hands land on her hips, grinding her ass into your semi-hard dick. She looked lovely tonight dressed in an emerald green bodysuit paired with black skinny jeans. Her tits practically falling out of her top and her jeans perfectly highlighting her curvy hips. 

“You look pretty tonight, Soph,” You lean down and whisper into her ear.

“You don’t look too bad yourself, Kiszka,” she retorts, biting her lip and grinding harder into you.

“Oh fuck,” the friction of her grinding was beginning to get to you. You break away from her, turning her around to face you. “Want me to fill up your drink?”

“Please,” she hands you her cup and you scurry off to the kitchen, yet again. It appeared to be your favorite place tonight. You find yourself looking y/n’s way, to see her staring back at you. 

Y/n’s POV

Are you fucking joking. After everything you guys talked about, he still takes it as a fucking joke. Well, maybe you weren't one to talk, but two can play at that game. You make your way through the crowd, in search of a Kiszka twin, and certainly not the slutty, fuckboy twin. You see him standing leaning against the wall, beer in hand. His black button up only buttoned to his navel, enticing you even more. “Can you dance?” You ask him, batting your lashes at Jake. 

“Fuck, yeah!” You grab his hand forcefully pulling him to the dance floor, and right pass Josh so he can see you and his twin walking by, hand and hand. Blame It by Jamie Foxx and T- Pain begins to play and that was enough to get you in a certain mood. You left no time to start grinding up on Jake, pressing your ass into his dick. 

His hands began feeling up and down your body, going from your ass, around your hips, up to your waist. As you look deep into Josh’s eyes you grab Jake's hands and begin to reach down pulling them higher so they are just below your tits. Your hips sway against him, feeling his dick harden into your ass. 

“y/n…” Jake mumbles into your ear, seductively. “Damn..” You move his hands to sit right on top of your tits and he gives them a light squeeze. “... you’re so fucking beautiful.” 

You would hate this type of PDA normally, but tonight you were just in the mood for revenge.

“I know you’ve been wanting to touch me, Jake,” You turn around to face him, wrapping your arms around his neck. 

“Yeah? Who says?” His brow quirks up, challenging you. He pulls you closer, your bodies now flush together. 

“Says me, and all the flirting you’ve been doing lately.” You tilt your face up to his, looking directly into his chocolatey brown eyes. A few moments of silence pass as you both continue to dance.

You feel a hand wrap around your bicep and pull you away from Jake. 

“What the actual, fuck, do you think you’re doing?” It was Josh. His eyes darted between you and his brother. 

“Just having some fun Josh since you wanted to leave me stranded on the dance floor! You expected me to dance all alone? I don’t fucking think so,” You snap at him, ripping your arm out of his hand, turning back to Jake.

“Where were we?” You shoot him a small smile, simply to get under Josh’s skin.

“No, it's time to leave, let's go.” He says pulling you away from his brother, dragging you out of the party.

You rip your hand out of his, yet again, and cross your arms as you walk with a purpose to get back to your dorm, whether he would follow or not.

“You’re no fucking fun Josh! You expect me to just stand there while Sophia is grinding on you. I may have been a little drunk but I’m sober enough to realize that you aren’t following the rules. So, OF COURSE, I wasn’t going to either. I didn’t think you could be so dense Josh!” You practically scream at him, as he follows close behind you. 

After a long quiet walk you finally make it to your dorm, with him still hot on your heels. Charlotte, without a doubt, would be staying at someone else's dorm tonight so you would be alone. You swing the door open trying to shut it infront of him, but he stopped it before it could fully close. As you make it into your bedroom, you slowly peel your pants off feeling over-stimulated, leaving you in only your corset and undies. After struggling to get your pants off you flop onto your bed, facing up to the ceiling. 

You close your eyes for a brief moment, and feel a presence above you. 

“You’re being a fucking brat you know that, and its making me crazy, y/n.” He begins to put his hands on both sides of your head, hovering above you. His lips dangerously close to your ear. “You don’t know what you do to me, mama, do you?” You shake your head, obviously knowing you make him horny. “Well I’m gonna fucking show you, and there won’t be any more confusion.”

JOSH’s POV

God, you don't know how long you’d be able to keep it together before you unleashed everything you had on her, but you had to work up to it. You wanted so badly to put her over your legs and spank her hard to teach her a lesson, but since she drank you didn’t think that would be the best move. Hooking your fingers under her panties you pull them aside, giving you full access to her beautiful wet pussy that you know you didn’t contribute to. But you knew you’d contribute to her not being able to walk tomorrow. 

“Who made you this wet, mama?” You already know the answer but you just want to hear her say it out loud. 

“Y-You Joshy.” She says with innocent eyes. Anticipation written all over her pretty face. 

“No, I said who fucking made you this wet, huh? Was it the guy in the corner or my fucking brother. Don’t you dare lie to me,” You say, grabbing her face slightly, making her look into your eyes. 

“It was Jakey, I’m sorry baby.” Jakey? Not the fucking pet names.

“Don’t be giving him fucking pet names, those are for me and me only, got it?” She nods again, and you let go of her face.

“There seems to be a lot you need to learn mama, and we're gonna make sure you know all of that before the end of the night.”

You kneel again before her, wasting no time to get to her wet heat. You bring your fingers up to the entrance of her mouth, “Open.” She opens her mouth up, sticking her tongue out slightly. What a dirty whore. You shove your fingers deep down her throat, making her gag slightly. As you bring them out she sucks on them, making your already hard dick throb under the fabric of your shorts.

You shove them deep into her pussy, curling them up to hit all the good spots. As if you had hit a button, she begins to arch her back and moan. 

“Let it all out, let me hear you baby. Your moans make me so fucking hard. They turn me on so much, mama.” You quicken the pace of your fingers.

“Josh, oh my god. You’re perfect holy fuck. Your fingers fill me up so good.” You’d be filling her up even more soon.

You notice her tits bouncing in her corset, that needs to come off, immediately. You remove your fingers and flip her onto her stomach. You start unlatching all the clips and turn her back over to back to peel it off the front of her. Her marks had faded from the other week.

You lean forward, making quick work of your mouth to create new purple bruises that would match her corset perfectly. Kissing each one of them before connecting your mouth with hers. 

“Are you ready for my cock mama?” You ask quietly.

She frantically nods her head, you could tell she needed it, but we weren't going to give it to her that easy.

“Beg for it baby, tell me how much you need my hard cock in that pretty pussy of yours.” 

“Fuck Josh I need it so bad. Wanna feel you inside” You begin to unlatch your pants pulling them down to the floor. “You're gonna stretch me out so good with your huge cock.” Bending down to her pussy, spitting straight onto it. “I wanna cum around your cock, please Josh.” You grin feeling like she gave you enough. You slap her pussy before thrusting into her hard, not giving her much time to adjust.

You lean forward, one hand on the bed, one on her tit. You lay a sloppy kiss to her lips and fuck into her hard. You could tell you were hitting the right spots. She was moaning and bracing herself by grabbing your biceps, which very quickly escalated to her nails scratching down your back. Fuck. It fucking hurt, but hurt so good. 

As you continued to pound hard into her you felt a new angle was needed. You pick yourself off her and begin to grab her ankles, and pull them up to your shoulders. Letting them rest there as you fuck her even deeper now. 

She was melting beneath you, becoming a sloppy mess. Her moans picked up, you could tell she, and yourself, were close to a breaking point. You kiss her ankles softly, which contrasted to the hard pounding you were inflicting onto your pussy.

“Where do you want me to cum baby?” You say through heavy breathing.

“Cum in me Josh, I wanna feel you fill me up.” Holy shit. You weren’t going to question it. As you get closer to your release you begin to feel squeezing around your cock.

“God, y/n, if you keep squeezing me like that I’ll come right, fucking, now.”

“FUCK JOSH, I’m gonna cum. Please don’t stop, harder!” She begins to buck up against you, meeting your thrusts.

“That's it baby, cum for me. You're such a good girl for me” 

With that she let out one final moan, filling the room with pleasure. You weren't too far behind her. You continued pounding her hard and within a few seconds came right into her pussy, just like she told you to. 

You fell into the spot right beside her in bed.

“You think you learned your lesson?” You tease, looking over at her. 

“Definitely Josh, it’ll be hard not to think about you.”

“Yeah? Why is that y/n”

“Because I’m going to be thinking about you every single time I try to walk.”

You can’t help but laugh at her comment. You wanted to make her feel good, make her want you even more. 

You couldn’t be bothered to get dressed, instead you pull the blanket up from the bottom of the bed, press a kiss into her head, and fall asleep next to the girl of your dreams.

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TAGLIST

@demonrat444 @gvfstuddedmajesty @jordie-gvf @jazzyfigz @slut4lando @gvfmarge @peaceloveunitygvf @jjwasneverhere @areuirish @mar-rein12 @woyayaofdreams @freyjalw @musicspeaks

[waitmyturtles]

1) CHERRY MAGIC (episode 2) IS SO GOOD, I HAVE TO COVER MY MOUTH AND KEEP MY MEEPS FROM BEING TOO LOUD

2) GOD, TAYNEW! New is SMASHING THIS.

3) The wonderful @so-much-yet-to-learn and I had a discussion a couple months ago about the stylistic and rumored decisions to not have Kurosawa and Adachi (Machida Keita and Akaso Eiji) kiss in the Japanese Cherry Magic adaptation. The rumors (only seen online and not at all confirmed with primary sources) were that Machida's and Adachi's agencies were not supportive of the two having an on-screen smooch. We also considered the public vs. private taboos of public displays of affection in Japanese society and art, which differ from those in other Asian countries (like Thailand).

It's not known if the two actors felt differently about not kissing. At least Machida's agency, Gekidan Exile/Exile Tribe, has provided quite the number of actors in other Japanese BLs who have acted out many more deeds on screen, from Candy Color Paradox to Tokyo in April Is..., and more.

But I think part of the campy gloriousness of the Japanese Cherry Magic adaptation was, in fact, the lack of kissing, and the sensual acting around the indication of that kissing, from Kurosawa's eagerness and his constant struggle to control his emotions, to Adachi's discomfort-to-acceptance-and-happiness journey. There was tremendous communication in their body and verbal language that got them to their happy ending in the series, and to not have the actual kiss was, for me, dramatically satisfying for how that decision was supported through the excellent acting and the painstaking details of the show.

So, for so many of us, as we learned that TayNew would take up this mantle in Thailand last year, we were like -- alright, NOW we are going to get the kisses, right?

And at least for now, we haven't, which makes me wonder a bit. We saw Kurosawa's lips touch Adachi's forehead in Japan,

and Karan's lips were hidden by Achi's fluffy bangs in Thailand.

Does New need some texturizing, or was this on purpose? (I'm CACKLING, poor Tay, look at that hair in his FACE, omg.)

If this was a stylistic nod to Japan? Then... well done, because at least I noticed it, and kinda loved it. We know (WE KNOWWWW, heh heh, thank you, Kiss Me Again and Dark Blue Kiss) what TayNew are capable of, and I just loved this little moment of subtlety here in Cherry Magic, because we don't actually know what we're going to get later this series.

Because I am a fucking simp for all things Cherry Magic, I also noted the slight changes in how Karan approached Achi on the rooftop later that night, as compared to Kurodachi. Honestly, I am SO ENJOYING these different approaches, and only note these simply by way of how I'm loving Machida's acting versus that of Tay.

Kurosawa on the rooftop was a ball of NERVES, man.

Whereas it almost seemed like Tay's Karan was silently joyful, with smiles playing at the edges of his lips, to be so close to Achi and having this conversation about the dinner game.

These are NOT the greatest screenshots, but if I could gif, I would try to capture how the corner's of Tay's mouth in that last screenshot just uplifted slightly. This wasn't a moment of shock and nerves; this was a moment of OMG OMG OMG EEEEEE THIS IS MY TIMEEEEE.

(EDITING TO ADD: I’m such a dunce! I should have known the gif makers were already on this — and the gorgeous deity @liyazaki captured Tay’s mouf perfectly. That giddiness in the last gif!)

And in their acting? I love BOTH APPROACHES so much. Because both approaches are well within the emotional range of the moment that we're experiencing with them.

We're departing from the Japanese dorama next week in content, and I cannot wait to see where we go. GMMTV gave us some holiday gifts in Last Twilight and Cherry Magic airing on Fridays and Saturdays, no?