#I’m actually pretty happy with my body lately and it feels wild tbh

[myfriendgoo94]

Been working out on a regular basis and the results have been good apparently 🖤

[shycoconutt]

I Found My Light (Kakashi x Reader)

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2

A/n: Sound the alarms! It’s my first ever writing post! I’ve had this written for a while tbh, and I feel like I’m ready to start getting into this.

Summary: A late-night walk turns into a rekindled friendship.

Word Count: 2300

Warnings: fem!reader, SFW (but might not be later lol)

You opened your eyes for what seemed like the thousandth time tonight. Staring at the white ceiling, you sighed. Sleep seemed to evade you recently, a side effect of the recent dreariness of your life. You found yourself living the same days over and over again. Because of this, the line between day and night started to fade.

The moon was full tonight, you noticed as it shined brightly through your open window. It was the perfect temperature out, warm but chilly enough to feel comfortable wrapped in your blankets. You love listening to the occasional sounds that occurred outside, the noise of leaves rustling in the wind being your favorite.

Your gaze left the moon and landed back on your ceiling. Why is something as simple as sleeping so hard? Gods, all you wanted was an escape. With a huff, you pushed the covers off of you and sat up from your lying position. Trying to force yourself to sleep would do more harm than good right now.

You make your way to your dresser and pull out your favorite pair of black joggers. You love them because they are tight on your ankles, loose on your legs, and have a cinched band at the waist. They are perfect for any lazy day. You slip them on over your underwear, you never go to bed with pants on, and exchange your sleep shirt for a cropped black hoodie made from the same soft, elastic material as your pants.

You turn to face your large standing mirror in the corner of the room to assess your appearance. The all-black look was your favorite, especially since it will help you blend into the night. Your hair was a mess, so you decided to put it up in a loose bun on the top of your head and pull out some strands to frame your face. It felt good to not look so polished and put together. Your jonin uniform was not the most comfortable piece of clothing, especially with the way it hit your figure.

You walked out of your bedroom and across the kitchen to the front door of your apartment. One foot after the other, you slide into your sandals and grab the key to your apartment hanging on the hook next to you. With that, you leave your apartment and head out into the night.

You walked the streets of Konoha at a gingerly pace. It was probably around 3 a.m. at this point, and there wasn’t a single soul on the street with you. You make your way past the line of shops on the main street, including your favorite bakery where you'd treat yourself to a lemon square after coming back from a long mission. You thought about that lemon square a lot when you were out risking your life, embarrassingly enough.

A couple of turns later and you found yourself heading towards your favorite place in all of Konoha, a little area of woods towards the perimeter that contained this amazing koi pond. Although it was nighttime and the fish wouldn’t be as active, you still want to check to see if you can watch any. To your surprise, your favorite koi, who you nicknamed “Nishi'', was out and swimming around by himself. You sit criss-cross in the grass and watch as he glides through the calm water, almost putting you in trance. Nishi didn’t look or act like the others; He was black with white, almost silver-looking spots and he was less frantic in nature. You sway from side to side as you watch him, thinking to yourself about how you would like to be more like Nishi.

“You look cute watching the koi.” You heard a soft, yet unwavering voice declare behind you.

“Holy sh-” You almost jump out of your pants at the unexpected presence. Surprised, you quickly turn your head around to see who’s voice that could possibly be. To your disbelief, there lies a figure perched up by a tree a couple yards away from you. Their feet were crossed, legs extended, one hand in the pocket of their pants, the other holding up what looks like a copy of Icha-Icha, head turned towards you, and wild hair moving with each passing breeze. How did I not notice him?

“Oh I’m sorry (y/n), I didn’t mean to startle you. I figured you knew I was here because you walked right past me.” He brought his hand up to scratch the back of his head and let out a small chuckle. “Guess I should have made my presence known right away.”

Still in disbelief, you get up and slowly make your way towards the figure, stepping into the shadow of the tree to see him more clearly. As you approached you immediately recognized the silver-haired jonin.

“Kakashi?” You say confused. “What are you doing out here? It’s late.”

“I could ask you the same thing.” He states, closing his book and setting it down next to him on the grass. He looked different. He looked… quite hot actually. The jonin uniform you usually saw him in was traded for a pair of comfortable-looking grey sweatpants and a tight, black tank top that connected to his mask. He wasn’t wearing his headband either, just keeping his left sharingan eye shut in a permanent wink. As you observed him, you couldn’t help but notice that he was doing the same to you.

“I suppose you're right.” You smirk and let out a small chuckle. “I couldn’t sleep so I figured that if I was up I should take a walk around the village to clear my head. This is my favorite spot, so I guess I just naturally ended up here.” You exclaimed, still standing in front of him.

“It looks like you and I are having the same issue,” he states plainly, “I came out here a little while ago after tossing in my bed for an hour. I hate trying to force myself to sleep; It’s a battle I never seem to win.” His eyes averted your gaze and moved to his now empty hands in his lap. You couldn’t help but notice a hint of pain in his voice and it tugged at your heartstrings.

You know about the things Kakashi has been through, as it was pretty common knowledge to all jonin in your mutual age group. You were pretty close with his friends, Gai, Kurenai, and Asuma, but Kakashi always seemed to keep everyone at an arm’s length. He also was an Anbu for ten years, which didn’t help the disconnect either. Fortunately, he was relieved from his Anbu position a couple weeks ago, and gradually you have been seeing him a bit more here and there. Though, this is the first time you are able to have a conversation with him in what seems like forever.

“Well,” you sighed, “I guess we have lost the battle together. We must be pretty shitty jonin.” You stated flatly.

Kakashi squinted his eyes and you both laughed. You couldn’t help but take a mental picture of his face at this moment. You really enjoy seeing him happy, as it makes you happy too.

You can’t kid yourself, having a chance to talk with Kakashi alone feels like such a treat. Little genin (y/n) would be ecstatic right now. Of course you had a crush on him back then, who didn’t?

“You’ve always had a natural talent for connecting with people,” Kakashi mused, “I haven’t talked to you since we were teenagers, and here I am laughing with you like we’re long-time friends.”

You could feel your eyebrows furrow at that statement. Yeah sure, you weren’t at his apartment every week for Sunday brunch, but you did have a history.

“Kakashi,” you started, “You are my long-time friend. Just because we drifted apart doesn’t mean I don’t care about you. To be honest, I was relieved when I found out you were no longer going to be a member of the Anbu. It wasn’t good for you.” You stepped closer and sat down next to him, leaning back on the tree stump. The grass felt cool under you, sending a small shiver up your body.

“I suppose you’re right,” Kakashi stated, quoting your words from earlier. “It amazes me that none of you gave up on me. I feel like I am undeserving of everyone’s effort.” You were baffled by his honesty; Kakashi wasn’t known to be much of an open book. It upsets you so much that he feels this way as you couldn’t imagine not caring about him or any of your other comrades in the village. The faces of your closest friends flashed through your mind and you grimaced at the thought of losing them.

Not knowing if you should, you felt compelled to reach over and hold Kakashi’s hand in yours. It's cold compared to the warmth spreading from your fingertips. Hmm, I wonder how long he has been out here. Giving his hand a small squeeze, you look at him in his onyx eye. “Trust me, Kakashi. You are deserving. You are deserving of a great life and people who care about you. I know the world may seem dark, but I promise that a light is always glowing. No matter how small or dim, it’s there.”

You stare at each other in silence for a moment before he changes the position of his hand and intertwines his fingers in yours. The change was small, but it ignites a feeling in your stomach you couldn’t describe. Slowly, you felt your cheeks flush and you turned your face to look towards the sky in hopes he wouldn’t notice. You knew this action was him telling you that he accepts your words, and thanks you for them.

You spent the next hour sitting under the tree together, you looking up at the stars and him looking at you. Your intertwined hands fell between your bodies, resting on the cool grass. You felt him start to graze the back of your hand with his thumb, sending a tingling sensation up your arm. It felt so good to be touched by him, even in such an innocent manner.

A strong breeze ran through the air and hit you suddenly. You began to shiver at the quick change in temperature, realizing that you should have dressed warmer if you were going to be out this long. Yet, you couldn’t have anticipated the situation you are currently in.

“Are you cold?” Kakashi questioned with a hint of concern.

“Yeah a little bit,” you answered honestly, “but I don’t want to go back home. I’m not really tired yet.” Truthfully, you didn’t want this little moment of shared bliss to end. You started to feel like you found your escape, and you refused to be torn away from it so soon.

“Neither do I,” he confessed, “Come here.” He released his hand from yours and slid his position higher up on the side of the tree. He then spread his legs and patted the ground in between, inviting you to sit.

You felt your face get hot again, as the position he was offering you was a very intimate gesture. There was absolutely no way you could refuse his offer. One, because you were freezing and, two, young (y/n) would never forgive you.

You got up and sat down carefully between his thighs, leaning until your back met his chest. He then wrapped both of his arms around you, one around your shoulders and the other around your waist with his hand resting on your stomach. The outsides of your legs met the insides of his and you felt an immediate warmth there. Lastly, your head tilted back and rested upon his left shoulder, with his face nuzzled against your temple. You both fit together like two pieces of a puzzle, no part of you feeling any discomfort against his strong body. Engulfed in his smell and warmth, for the first time in a while you felt completely relaxed.

“Thank you, Kakashi.” You looked up at him with a warm smile.

“Anytime.” He breathed, voice muffled by your hair. You wondered if he truly meant that. I mean, after all, this is the first time you have interacted in a while. Yet, the connection you felt towards him was unquestionable.

Does he feel the way I feel?

“Hey,” you began, “are you tired at all?”

He flexed his arms and held you closer to his chest. “Not really,” he answered, “I’m enjoying this moment too much to be tired.” You smiled, and there was a pause.

“Isn’t this odd?” you questioned again.

“What? You and I snuggled under a tree in a random corner of the village alone at 4 a.m. after we haven’t interacted with each other in years?” he questioned sarcastically, “Not at all.”

“Kakashi!,” you laughed, gently nudging your elbow into his ribs as he laughed along with you.

“Yeah it’s a little odd,” he answered honestly, “but I’m not going to question it. I found my light, and now I’m enjoying it.” He nuzzled his face into your hair and breathed deeply.

Completely and utterly relaxed, you let yourself succumb to the heaviness of your eyelids. Truthfully, this has felt like the longest day in the world and you are happy to end it this way. The sound of Kakashi’s breathing and the rise and fall of his chest acted as your personal sleep machine. It’s priceless.

Before you completely drift off, you swear you could feel the soft, pillowiness of Kakashi’s lips graze the skin of your temple, a soft hum escaping from them.

“Goodnight, (y/n)”

~~~

Queue Hilary Duff’s “What Dreams Are Made Of”. This kind of feels like the beginning of something. Should I continue? Idk if my writing is even good. If you read this, PLEASE let me know if you have any feedback. Again, this is my first story and I would greatly appreciate any feedback, advice, suggestions, etc.! I can’t believe I’m uploading, ah! - Klara

[fantastic-bby]

SKZ vs. their crush

Pairing: Gender neutral Reader x Member

Word count: 3.9k

Genre: Fluff

Summary: It’s just them crushing on you 

Warnings: -

Masterlist

A/n: I tried a different format this time and used bullet points rather than just making it like a full story since my brain was going crazy when I wrote this. Let me know which format you prefer and maybe I might incorporate both bullet points and the essay ones since I actually quite enjoy writing using both.

Chan

You guys only met because you knew Jeongin 

The tiny babie brought you to meet his friends 

Chan was smitten when he first met you 

He thought you were so pretty when he saw you following behind Jeongin 

“Innie,” 

“Yeah?”

“Who is that?” 

He wants Jeongin to introduce you two

Sensing the vibes, the maknae is more than happy to introduce you two 

if he was being honest, he already knew Chan would pretty much fall in love with you immediately

Chan’s flustered when he introduces himself to you 

He’s almost blubbering all over the place 

You find it kinda cute but he’s scared you found him really weird 

He tries to steal little moments to be with you 

Like ‘accidentally’ bumping into you in the hallway 

Or how he just so happens to walk into Jeongin’s room when you’re on a call with him

Or how he just so happens to be lingering around the flea market nearby your college campus 

Chan takes care of you without even realising it 

If you bump into each other he asks whether you’ve eaten or how your day is 

He loves the way you seem to parent his friends like he does 

“Jisung, put the knife down. You’re going to hurt somebody” 

“Hehe, make me” 

“PUT IT DOWN 〴⋋_⋌〵” 

Chan’s surprised he listens to you

He loves how everyone only seems to listen if you’re the one talking too

If you’re hanging out with them at the dorms and Chan can’t seem to control everyone, you just step in 

“Guys, please”

And suddenly the chaos has calmed down 

Chan finds it amazing 

Everyone just… stops when you ask them to

You find it amusing 

It’s like watching a single dad trying to control his seven wild sons

He chases after Felix around the dorm a lot because he’s usually done something weird with Minho and Jisung

He manages to get your number using an excuse of needing you to calm down the boys 

“Please… they don’t listen sometimes” 

Jeongin finds reasons to push you two together 

“Yay! You guys made—oH nO I ComPleTeLy foRgoT!!”

Leaves the two of you alone 

He honestly just thinks you two should get together and so does the rest of the group

So they find excuses to get you two alone together 

But your relationship takes f o r e v e r  

Only because Chan wants to be absolutely certain that he likes you

He doesn’t want to commit to someone he’s worried he’s not sure of yet

Slowly but surely, he starts to ease into the relationship

He sends you music he thinks you’ll like 

Eventually he’ll start sending you his own music 

He only confesses when he’s absolutely sure he’s pretty much falling in love with you 

The way he does it just wins your heart immediately if you weren’t already as whipped for him as he was 

He writes a song for you (´༎ຶ ͜ʖ ༎ຶ `)♡ 

Minho

Bumped into you at a dance studio he goes to often

He thinks your dancing is amazing 

At first he doesn’t want to bother you 

But then he’s all like “heyyyy I’m Minho” 

And you’re pretty much taken away by how gorgeous the man is 

Minho wouldn’t be too flustered 

He would keep his cool around you 

Doesn’t mean he wouldn’t try to impress you with his sexy dance moves 

Tries to win your heart the romantic way which doesn’t work because half the time you’re too busy dancing to actually realise he’s trying to flirt with you

“Hey, baby ;)” 

“Huh?”

“Nothing”

Wonders whether he should just make a dedicated advance towards you 

He likes your humour 

It’s similar to his 

You both just laugh at really weird stuff together 

When you share your numbers, he sends you weird videos that he thinks you’ll like 

Minho’s not much of a texter, but when you do get a message from him, it’s either something he’s really excited about or something really weird 

Only realises he’s actually crushing on you when Changbin points it out 

“Why are you so nice to them” 

“Who?” 

“(Y/n)” 

Then Minho realises that he really likes you

Starts slowly working harder to win your heart 

Helps you with your dancing

“Your body looks a bit stiff” 

Buys you lunch 

“I got you the lunch box from 7 11”

It’s always something you end up liking if you hadn’t tried it before

Buys you drinks from the vending machine 

“What is this???” 

It looks like a double shot coffee 

“Energy?”

Minho doesn’t know either but you both drink it anyway 

And end up being at the studio until 3 a.m. because you’re both so hyped with caffeine

Offers to walk you home if it’s getting late

“It’s not safe on your own”

“Minho, I’ll be fineeeee” 

Doesn’t take no for an answer and forces you to let him

His advances work

You’re pretty much whipped for him by the time he confesses 

Which Minho does by buying you flowers and bringing it to the studio 

Changbin

You work at the music shop that he goes to often 

When he’s browsing the CD’s and the vinyls, he spots you at the counter 

His heart almost explodes when he sees you 

The first thing that caught his eye was the way you were dressed 

:0 

Fits Changbin’s style 

He’s nervous to approach you with the vinyl in his hand 

Why was he so nervous? 

Oh right, he was pretty much completely smitten by you 

“Hi!” 

 He loves your voice even more

“H-Hey,”

Changbin’s so nervous 

He likes your bracelets too 

He thinks they’re really cool 

He ends up coming back a lot and you wonder why this man needs so many CD’s and vinyls 

Eventually, he builds up the courage to talk to you

Changbin comes by every once in a while just to say hi 

Sometimes he just comes in to talk to you during your break

You tell him you’ve always wanted to try making music

He tells you he makes music 

You’re all :0 

Changbin tells you about it 

And you get really interested in his music 

He starts coming after your shift or during your break to play you his songs 

He gets all uwu when he sees the way your eyes shine 

You have him wrapped around your finger without even knowing it 

Doesn’t admit that he’s pretty much whipped 

Even though he visits you almost every other day 

And how he buys you your favourite snacks 

Or how he stays way longer than he expected to just bcs he’s talking to you 

You’re just as whipped tbh 

You love talking to Changbin 

You like his music taste and he’s fun to be around 

Confesses to you by taking you out on a date 

He brings you to his studio 

Shows you how he makes music 

He finds it adorable how you’re so amazed by his equipment

So he teaches you whatever he can in the time you’re together 

You both spend the evening just messing around 

You make a short track that you’re sure sounds really off

Changbin reassures you that it’s nice 

He teaches you how to layer the different tracks 

And eventually teaches you how to edit them despite the few hours you have 

You’re so excited 

He smiles every time he looks at you 

Bcs you’re so adorable he feels like he might burst 

Confesses at the end of the night 

“I like you a lot” 

He blurts it out and it catches you slightly off guard 

But you like him back so it’s fine 

Ends up offering to take you to the studio anytime you’re both free

Hyunjin 

Met you through Felix 

Felix invited you to play a game with him and his friends 

Hyunjin hears your voice the first time and he’s already curious 

He thinks you’re really chill and he likes your vibe 

You end up playing more games with them 

He ends up wanting to get to know you more 

The thing that honestly gets to him the most is the way you take every loss so lightheartedly 

“There’s always another game” 

You don’t rage or stress out over it 

Over time, he starts spending one-on-one time with you 

Until you’re both just doing literally anything else but gaming together 

He denies them as dates whenever his friends ask, claiming that it’s just friend time

Until one night you’re both awake at four a.m. and talking about everything and anything 

He likes the way you think

“Hyunjin, did you know that sometimes in movies, they use trash cans to replicate tiger roars” 

“What???”

He likes how you’re joking talking about starting a revolution 

He knows you won’t

“So, yeah, fuck capitalism!” 

“Yeah!” 

He loves the fact that you’re so open about what you think even if it’s something small or weird

“Mercy’s ass is so thick… for what reason…” 

“She’s a video game character??” 

“Felix, her ass is so thick, she could kill someone with it” 

Hyunjin loves hearing you rant about your day 

“And?? It’s so stupid!!”

“Calm down, (Y/n)”

“Don’t tell me to calm down, you egg!” 

Hyunjin thinks you’re adorable when you’re all riled up

He finds it amusing because he likes hearing you talk 

“You live there too?” 

He didn’t expect to be so close to you

“Yeah, that’s how I met Felix” 

He never realised you and Felix knew each other in real life

You spend more time together 

Talking about whatever comes to mind until the dead of night 

Sometimes you watch movies together 

You stay away from horror movies because he doesn’t like it that much 

But you’re always talking about something with him

The two of you are always the last to leave the call because you end up talking after games 

Hyunjin asks you out without even realising it sounds like a date

“Is that a date??” 

“Sure” 

He didn’t even realise he asked you out until after he’s left the call

?!?!?!?!

Goes into panic mode 

He just asked you out!!!! 

Starts asking Felix about you

He laughs at Hyunjin but helps him anyway

Shows him what you look like on your Instagram 

Hyunjin thinks you’re so pretty on your posts

When he sees you in person for the first time 

He’s so taken away 

You’re gorgeous

Whatever feeling he didn’t realise he had for you comes rushing in 

Hyunjin loves your laugh 

You spend the whole day together just walking around town

It’s nice to hear his voice when it isn’t coming out of your headphones

By the time the date’s over, Hyunjin wants more of you 

So he tells you he wants to take you out again while he’s walking you home 

You accept 

He turns to you with a c: before asking if he can kiss you

Jisung 

You’re a barista at the cafe nearby the JYPe building 

Jisung was designated as the drink buyer that time by the rest of his group 

If he was having trouble remembering all their orders before 

He has even bigger trouble now when he sees you 

YOU LOOK SO CUTE IN YOUR APRON 

He freezes the moment he sees you at the cashier 

“Hi! What would you like?” 

Jisung’s eyes go ◑.◑

“Uhm… sir?” 

“Sorry!” 

He struggles to get his order out properly

But you’re patient with him and even though he barely knows you 

He likes that you are 

Jisung’s watching you the entire time you make his order 

He can’t take his eyes off of you 

You do notice it, but you find him adorable so you don’t say anything 

He seems to be easily flustered

When you hand him his order, he’s still a blubbering mess 

“T-Thank you…” 

Your name tag says (Y/n) 

So he thanks you using your name which you smile 

“Have a great day!” 

Jisung comes back the next day 

He doesn’t even need any drinks, he just wants to see you again 

When he does, he feels all fluttery on the inside 

“Welcome back” 

He orders a dark chocolate smoothie and an iced mocha for Minho

Minho would kill him if he found out Jisung went to the cafe without him 

Jisung sits at an empty table and watches you again 

The next day, the cycle repeats 

And the day after that 

And the day after that 

Minho follows him at some point, wondering why Jisung seems to obsessed with the place 

“Why do you like this place so much?” 

“I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT”

Something’s definitely up with him 

Minho only finds out when he sees the way Jisung’s face seems to light up when he sees you 

“You like the barista, don’t you” 

“WHAT BARISTA ಠoಠ” 

That’s all he needs to confirm it 

Minho lets Jisung order, seeing just how excited and giddy he is when he’s talking to you 

Jisung’s practically bouncing up and down while you talk to him 

When they leave, Minho’s all up in it 

“You really like them, huh” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about >:c” 

Knowing Jisung, he wouldn’t do anything about it 

So Minho takes it into his own hands to bring you two together 

The group is having a mini event and they need someone to serve drinks 

Who else to ask other than you? 

Jisung’s eyes almost bulge out of his skull when he sees you because 

What are you doing here???? 

He’s so nervous 

Minho practically shoves him your way 

Again, you find him so cute that you don’t even realise he’s practically dying to know you more 

“Hi Jisung!” 

You learned his name over the course of him constantly coming back and Jisung just loves hearing it from you 

“Hi (Y/n)” 

“I can’t make anything ice blended, but I can trade if for an iced dark chocolate” 

“Okay!” 

As long as you make it, he’ll take it 

The event comes to an end but Jisung’s pretty much spent more time with you rather than his group mates 

Even they’re amused by how into you he obviously is 

“Hey Jisung” 

You stop him before you leave and he’s immediately at your side 

“Since you keep coming over, here’s my number” 

◑.◑

“Give me a call before you come in so that I can have your drink ready for you to pick up” 

He’s so happy :D

He sends you pictures of cute animals and random snippets of his music 

Felix 

Met you through League of Legends

You have good synergy so you became friends through that 

At first, he only managed to play with you occasionally 

When he’s able to, he notices how you always sound so bright 

“Hi Felix!” 

He likes playing with you 

You’re laid-back 

You don’t stress over losses too much 

“Ah, what to do?” 

But when you’re irritated, Felix finds it funny

“Fucking asshole!” 

“You were in the way, (Y/n)”

“Shut the fuck up!” 

You’re so funny to him 

“Felix, don’t go into bush” 

“I can bait them” 

“DON’T”

His character dies

“Oops ( ͡° ͜V ͡°)”

“-`д´-” 

You’re easy to game with and that’s what he admires the most right off the bat 

You always seem to be up for games 

Even when he’s not able to play, whenever he logs into Discord he sees you’re online 

Wonders whether you sleep at all 

“I don’t need sleep. I am gamerrrr. Gamers don’t sleep” 

“Please sleep” 

“Lix, sleep is for the weak and I’m not weak” 

“You passed out last night in call” 

Honestly slightly concerned for you 

Overtime he realises that he really looks forward to games with you

Before Felix would just go to sleep after practice or shows 

But he’ll start waiting to see if you’re up for even one game 

Which you always are 

Slowly starts spending time with you just talking 

Eventually it leads to the both of you staying up until 5 a.m. laughing at really stupid memes 

During the day when Felix can’t join call 

He sends you funny tiktoks and memes 

You appreciate it because you like him 

But you don’t admit it because you’ve never met him in person before

Until you both find out that you live only a few hours away from him 

Invites you down to Seoul to spend time with him 

You’re nervous

Felix is nervous

He knows what you look like

You exchanged Snapchats and started streaking a while before 

He sends you funny pictures of his members 

You send him selfies with random filters

But nothing could prepare him for when you appear from around the corner 

He sees you appear and he’s all (゜ロ゜)

Your photos don’t do your natural beauty any justice

Is a bit of a mess when you’re walking around together 

Eventually loosens up around you 

Compliments you a lot and it makes you blush 

You spend the day just wandering around the place 

Felix takes you to his favourite places and favourite cafes 

He wants to share his favourite things with you 

You find it endearing 

Tries to make you laugh a lot because he’s just grown to really like the sound of your voice 

Since you’ve spent most of your time talking over call

Felix just loves hearing your voice 

When the day’s over 

He asks for more nights that aren’t just filled with games because owo he wants to do more with you 

Seungmin

Bumped into you at JYPe because you were visiting a friend 

Hears you singing with Yeji and he immediately falls in love with your voice 

He peeks into the dance studio to see the two of you just sitting on the floor together 

There’s no music 

It’s just the two of you singing together 

Your voice makes him :D 

Seungmin leaves the two of you bcs he doesn’t want to intrude 

But he ends up seeing you more often 

Turns out you’re in Seoul for a while so you’re spending quite some time with Yeji 

He sees you in the hallways a lot

When you walk past each other, it’s always just a polite bow 

You don’t really think much of Seungmin other than the fact that you think he’s pretty handsome 

Yeji teases you for that 

When you’re walking through the building to look for her 

You hear someone singing in one of the rooms 

You peek through the glass 

It’s Seungmin! 

ಠoಠ

And he’s so good

You listen from outside the door 

You knew he was good since he was an idol

But you didn’t think that he was that good

You don’t even realise he’s done when the door swings open and you’re standing there 

When Seungmin sees you, he realises you were most likely listening 

Now you’re just staring at each other like 

(ﾟωﾟ;)

Because now he knows you were listening 

And now you know he knows 

“Uhm…” 

You’re embarrassed 

You’re lucky Yeji pops from around the corner and your eyes plead for her to drag you away 

Which she doesn’t 

“Sunbaenim!”

“Hi Yeji” 

“Have you met (Y/n) before?” 

You actually want to tear her apart

“Not properly, no” 

“Well... “ 

“WELL WOULD YOU LOOK AT THE TIME” 

You drag her away before she can say anything else 

The next time you see Seungmin 

You pass by him in the hallway once again while you’re looking for Yeji

“(Y/n)” 

ಠ_ಠ

“We keep passing each other but we’ve yet to actually meet each other properly” 

“Haha…” 

“I know you were listening the other day” 

“Haaahhhhhhaaaa…”

“I don’t mind that you did.”

“Huh” 

You’re actually bit surprised that he doesn’t mind

“I overheard you and Yeji singing the other day in the dance room” 

༼ : ౦ ‸ ౦ : ༽

“You sing really beautifully, (Y/n)” 

There’s an awkward wall that takes a while before you two actually break it down 

But when you do 

It’s almost like you visit the building to see Seungmin rather than Yeji 

She doesn’t mind since she saw it coming 

Doesn’t mean she can’t tease you about it 

Seungmin looks forward to having lunch with you in the cafeteria 

At this point, the staff don’t even question your now daily appearance 

You end up falling for Seungmin way faster than you thought possible 

The feeling’s mutual 

He just likes everything about you 

You’re so sweet 

You’re also really caring 

He notices that when you follow him to the practice room where Stray Kids are 

Changbin trips over Hyunjin’s legs 

You’re rushing over to help without any of them really realising it 

He loves how nice your voice is too 

“Can you sing for me?”

You’re shook 

You wonder why he wants to hear your voice specifically

“Your voice is just really nice 

He realises he really likes you when you briefly disturb their practice to give Seungmin lunch 

He briefly mentioned that he forgot his wallet and his lunch 

Since you aren’t an idol or staff

You had to use your own money in the cafeteria 

Seungmin’s heart flips at the realisation 

Ends up asking you out so that you don’t have to spend so much time inside the JYPe building all the time 

Jeongin 

Meets you through Changbin 

You went to the same high school as him and you kinda just stuck around

Changbin brings you to the dorm bcs he borrowed a hoodie 

The entire dorm greets you really brightly 

Jeongin’s the only one just watching in awe 

He’s so shy when you wave at him 

Seungmin notices and raises a brow 

“I-I’m Jeongin” 

“Hi Jeongin! Changbin talks about you guys a lot” 

He’s so nervous 

He wants to know you more, but he also doesn’t want to make it obvious that he’s taking interest in you 

The others don’t really notice because they’re too excited by the new person 

Seungmin, on the other hand, tells Changbin about it 

Changbin now makes it his mission to bring you two together 

He brings you over to the dorm more often 

Especially if Jeongin’s the only one home 

“(Y/n), you’ve met Innie before right?”

You nod

Jeongin’s adorable 

Changbin ends up bringing you over for movie nights 

Now you’re just an honorary member of the group 

Everyone else loves you 

Jeongin always tries to sit next to you during movie nights 

Especially if it’s a horror movie 

When you get scared, you hug his arm and he likes that 

Makes him feel like he’s able to protect you like a big strong man ᕙ(`▽´)ᕗ

You kinda like him too

So you test the waters around him 

You start talking to him more since Changbin told you he’s really shy 

Jeongin slowly eases into your company 

It takes a bit of time, but he’s started getting more confident around you 

You visit the dorm thinking Changbin’s there because he stole your favourite belt 

When Jeongin opens the door he’s all :D but when you ask where his hyung is he goes D: 

Tells you he’s not home but lets you in anyway 

No one else is home except for Jeongin and Chan 

So you sit in the living room with Innie 

You start talking about random things 

You end up talking about almost everything because it turns out that Changbin’s gone way longer than both of you thought 

Chan eventually emerges from his bedroom and waves at you 

He orders fried chicken for you guys 

You and Jeongin continue talking while eating 

Chan finds it super cute

Jeongin’s playful around you 

But he doesn’t want to make himself appear immature 

But you like when he’s being playful so you slowly ease him into being more comfortable 

He still just wants to impress you so you like him back 

Wait, when did he start liking you??? 

He realised it when you were over for a regular movie night 

You fell asleep in his lap 

Jeongin thought you were so cute 

When you wake up he asks you out 

You accept 

He cuddles you for the rest of the night and asks you to spend the night at the dorm

[haikyuu-scenarios-drabbles]

you weren’t supposed to hear that (F! reader)

A collection of instances where your roommate hears you moaning their name whilst your fingers are between your legs. Or your neighbor. Or maybe you walk in on them saying your name. Take your pick 😈

warnings: NSFW, manga spoilers (in terms of what the boys do post timeskip), degradation (i think?)

a/n: i'm so nervous about this one LOL i’m super into Sakusa but I don’t know much about him tbh. he’s some good eye candy and that’s all i got. and i like the idea that he’d be a bit softer with you. anyways, hope you enjoy ✨J

taglist: @apollochjld @kurosarium 

Other parts: Kuroo | Ushijima

Sakusa Kiyoomi 

You weren’t really sure what you were expecting when you filled out the application to be Sakusa’s roommate. The application was straightforward, maybe a bit excessive, particularly in the cleaning department, but nothing you couldn’t handle. And you would’ve done almost anything to be accepted given the price was a steal and the owner of the apartment claimed they would be away frequently. So, agreeing to a few ridiculous housekeeping requests seemed reasonable to you.

All Sakusa wanted was someone to look after his apartment while he was gone, keep it tidy and clean it thoroughly before he returns. You also had to send pictures of the state of your current apartment to ‘prove’ your cleanliness. Excessive, but retrospectively—extremely worth it.

Though what you hadn’t been expecting was for the owner of the apartment to be Sakusa Kiyoomi, an outside hitter for the MSBY Black Jackals. Nor had you expected him to actually accept your application.

In all honesty, Sakusa had been a little desperate. Nobody who’d applied came even close to his expectations, and when he’d read you clean your bathroom at least once a week, it was like a breath of fresh air. And when he met you, you were pleasant and described that you mainly like to keep to yourself which sounded perfect to him. But what really convinced him was that you showed up wearing a mask. He wasn’t sure if you could tell how surprised he was, but the second he saw it, he almost accepted you on the spot.

That was over a year ago now and you and Sakusa have been living in a comfortable rhythm. When he’s home, you gladly help him clean when you have the time, and sometimes when he gets home from practice you already have dinner cooking which he can’t deny he’s come to enjoy. When he’s away, he feels safe that his home isn’t going into complete disarray or collecting dust because you’re there. And when he comes home, he loves that the apartment is nearly spotless.

By now, he almost considers your germs his own. He doesn’t mind sitting near you eating dinner, or next to each other on the couch. In fact, he finds he rather enjoys your presence. But lately, the two of you have been sitting closer on the couch and table, and when he’s gone, he actually misses you, which he will never admit. Coming home to a clean apartment and even you just popping your head into the hallway to greet him before retreating to your room is enough for him.

His growing problem is that he isn’t sure if it’s enough anymore. And it became terribly clear to him when you came to one of his games for the first time.

After the game you waited for him outside the locker room, feeling a little out of place even though Sakusa gave you a VIP pass to be allowed back here. When he emerges, he finds you swarmed by his teammates, politely indulging them and telling them you’re just waiting for someone. It makes his skin prickle in the same way it does when people touch him unprompted. Even worse, Atsumu is far too close to you for his comfort.

You seem fine though, brightly greeting him when he approaches, much to the shock of his teammates.

“What’s a pretty girl doin’ knowing our ‘Omi, hey?” Atsumu drawls, sending a sly smile your way as Sakusa frowns at the nickname.

Before you can open your mouth, amused by the nickname you’ve never heard before, Sakusa interjects, “She’s my roommate.” Rendering the rest of them speechless (which is quite the feat), he takes you gently by the arm so the two of you can leave. Two things shock them: that Sakusa has a roommate and that he touched you.

“They aren’t so bad,” you grin up at him as he scowls, the two of you heading down the hallway towards the exit.

“You don’t have to spend hours on end with them.”

You shrug, knowing Sakusa is a man of unique circumstances when it comes to other people. A thought that makes you stop in your tracks, your hand shooting out to grip his arm to stop him, surprising him enough that he doesn’t recoil from your touch. “We should go this way,” you say, pointing down a different hallway.

He just looks at you, then down at your hand still wrapped around his forearm which you quickly snatch away. “Why? This way will be closer to the car.”

“I came by this way earlier and there was a group of your fans waiting for you,” you grimace. “I’d guess they’re probably still there.”

He frowns, grumbling to himself, but starting towards the hallway you pointed out. He’d very much like to avoid that situation if possible. The two of you make it out unscathed and un-swarmed by his avid fans, and on the way out to the car he can’t help thinking how much he appreciates how considerate you are. Anyone else would have told him he’s being ridiculous and to meet his fans. Not you, however. You always take his feelings into account.

That was weeks ago now. And none of his teammates have let it go since.

For you, when you first moved in, you swore to yourself you’d never fall for him. Not even after you accidentally walked in on him working out in his home gym, his lean and muscular arms out on display, a thin sheen of sweat dampening his dark curls—you nearly combusted. You forced yourself to put it out of your mind, because how could you fall for him? His annoyingly attractive face on billboards haunts you everywhere you go, and he was a stand-offish and a little neurotic for months. But as time as passed, he grew on you.

You now find his need for cleanliness endearing. Particularly now that he’s seemingly accepted you into his ‘bubble’. You’ll never forget the moment he touched you for the first time of his own accord. It was simple, nothing to think anything of really, but for him it was a big deal. It was just a brief touch on the shoulder while you were washing dishes thanking you for dinner. Afterwards, you took note of every time he touched you. One that stands out the most was when he wanted to escape his teammates at the very first game of his you attended. It was firmer, more of a silent plea from him that stunned you.

Really, you could be perfectly happy living like this. Except that your thoughts wander to him far too often now. Especially when he’s gone. It feels weird not having him around, scolding you for missing one spot on the counter, or sitting quietly next to you on the couch—you think about him a lot. His silent presence is strangely comforting, and it doesn’t help you watch his games while he’s away.

He is beautiful to watch. To the point you can’t even believe you live with him. Your efforts to keep your feelings in check were futile. You get so riled up that recently you’ve begun tiding yourself over to the thought of him. At first, you felt pretty ridiculous, especially since it’s hard to imagine him wanting to be…dirty like that, but eventually you just let your imagination run wild. You let yourself believe that with you, he’d be different.

It’s become a habit now while he’s gone. You know it’s awful. Yet you can’t stop yourself. Not when you haven’t been with someone since moving in with Sakusa. At first it was because you didn’t want to piss him off by bringing some stranger into the apartment. But now, you don’t even think you could. Not when you know you’ll only think about him the entire time.

He left only yesterday for his away game, but you’re already missing him. Already foolishly letting your thoughts wander into darker territory that you keep locked up tight when he’s around. His game is tomorrow, so you take the opportunity while you’re almost one-hundred percent certain he won’t come home early. On several occasions he’s come back a day early, but never before a game. Always after.

Your new favorite spot is the shower. Mostly because you can imagine him maybe letting loose a bit while the two of you are actively being cleaned in the process. Once you’ve stripped and the warm water is cascading down your back, it’s easy to imagine him.

You’ve pictured him so many times before that sometimes it really does feel like he’s there. That it’s his hands trailing down your sides, resting your hips, his mouth gently kissing along your neck as his hands move lower. The thought of him towering over you, his curly hair damp from the water, those dark eyes boring into you has you trembling in anticipation.

You’re already soaking when you run a finger between your folds, gripping the tiles when it reaches your clit, wondering what Sakusa’s fingers would feel like instead. Dipping your head, you let out a small, “Kiyoomi,” as you picture him whispering filthy things in your ear.

When Sakusa enters the apartment, he wrinkles his nose under his mask at the slight mess. Though, he supposes he can’t blame you. He wasn’t supposed to be home for another three days. But the other team cancelled unexpectedly, unable to get to the destination due to terrible weather. He hears the shower running in the other room, so he pulls off his mask and gets down to work. He can talk to you about it later.

Though he can’t help imagining you in the shower. Your body freshly clean, water running down your back, between your breasts, and along your legs. His mind gets so clouded by the image that he doesn’t realize he’s been scrubbing the same spot on the counter for a few minutes now. He’s jolted back to reality when he hears a sharp, “Ah!” emit from the bathroom.

He drops his cleaning supplies and quickly strides towards the bathroom thinking you’ve fallen in the shower. The door is slightly open, steam trickling into the hallway, and before he can knock and ask if you’re alright he hears your voice again.

“Oh—Kiyoomi...”

His hand stops mid-air, eyes widening with the realization of what you’ve just said. He pauses for a moment, debating what he should do. He can’t deny he thinks about you more often than he should, and more frequently as of late. And to him, the shower seems like the perfect place. So, he pushes the door open quietly, unzipping his jacket and saying into the silence, “Did you say my name?”

You almost take a tumble into the tub in surprise at hearing his actual voice in the bathroom with you. Close enough to lead you to believe he is in the bathroom. Yanking your fingers out of you, you push back the curtain, intent on yelling at him for intruding on you and scaring the shit out of you, though your voice dies in your throat.

Standing in the middle of the bathroom is Sakusa Kiyoomi, in all his infuriatingly delicious glory, pulling off his shirt and moving to rid himself of his track pants as well. He’s looking at you, deadpan, eyes moving down your body but stopping where the shower curtain is still covering you.

After a moment, you collect your senses, managing to choke out, “Wh—what are you doing?” Just your luck that he came home early at this exact moment and that he heard you. You’d curl up into a ball of embarrassment right now if you weren’t so shocked by his demeanor.  

Now that he’s completely unclothed you struggle to keep your eyes above his chest, gripping the curtain harder when he steps forward and says casually, “It was a long flight, I want to take a shower.”

You gape at him. “Right now?!”

He just takes a hold of the curtain, pulling it open slightly so he can step in next to you, and you’re so stunned you make no motion to stop him. And now you’re finding him towering over you in the small space of the shower, so close you can hardly breathe. All the air gets punched out of your lungs when his large hand rests on your hip, turning you so your back is facing him so he can lean down at tease in your ear, “You asked me to come in here, after all.”

All of the heat leaves your body, pooling directly between your legs at his tone. He wastes no time, lathering his hands up with soap and running them along your sides before reaching forward to cup your breasts in his hands, thumbs roaming aimlessly along your nipples, the soap foaming between his fingers.

“Were you thinking about me in the shower?” He asks, his tone dropping into something dark and dangerous. “Such a filthy girl.” He tugs at your nipples, rolling them between his thumb and forefinger making your knees tremble and the growing need between your legs even worse.

“Sa—Sakusa,” you moan, tilting your head back onto his shoulder, getting the full view of his hungry eyes boring into you.

He frowns, pinching your nipples slightly harder, reprimanding, “That isn’t what you called me earlier.”

You writhe in his embrace, gripping his arms, forcing yourself to keep eye contact with him as you correct yourself. “Kiyoomi.” He smirks at you, relenting on your nipples as reward, though continuing his soft ministrations.

You can’t help your ass arching backwards, coming into contact with his hardening member, giving him a bit of his own medicine as you grind against him. He hisses through his teeth, admonishing, “What a needy slut.”

“Fuck,” you mewl, pressing against him even harder. You can’t explain what his voice saying those things is doing to you—all you know is you need him to fucking touch you already. “Please, Kiyoomi,” you beg, lifting your arms up and around his neck behind you, your fingers twining into his wet hair. “Make a fucking mess of me.”

He groans deep in his throat, rutting up against your behind and wrapping one strong arm around your middle while the other trails towards the apex of your thighs. “Is that what you want? To be my dirty little slut?” Your fingers grip his hair even tighter, nodding embarrassingly quickly, standing up on your tiptoes to get his hand any closer to where you desperately need him.

Once his fingers reach your core, sliding up through the slick gathered between your legs and towards your clit; your knees nearly give out from under you. If it wasn’t for his arm around you keeping you up, you would have sunk to the floor at the sheer pleasure that sweeps through your body. His fingers are infinitely better than yours and having his solid frame and prominent hard-on pressing behind you almost sends you through the roof.

“Is this what you wanted?” He asks quietly against the skin of your neck, his hips grinding up against your ass, which you gladly return with pressure of your own.

“Yes—yes,” you say, gasping when sinks a finger knuckle deep into your heat, quickly adding another and praising you for how well you’re taking it. He watches the space where his fingers are disappearing into you with a sinful expression, enjoying intensely how you’re practically shoving yourself onto his fingers.

“What a good girl,” he whispers, setting your skin on fire, wanting nothing more than to keep being exactly that for him. He smiles devilishly, in a way you would have never imagined he could in your wildest dreams. An almost savage glint in his eyes as he presses harshly on your clit, eliciting a choked sob out of you, and making you dig your nails into the arm wrapped around you.

“Please—,” you say, head lolling on his shoulder allowing him to finally kiss you fully. Surprising you as his tongue slides into your mouth, his fingers relentless, his free arm now helping you drive his fingers even deeper. Voice coming out in a pathetic whine that makes his cock twitch, you plead, “God—Kiyoomi, please!”

“Use your words.”

Thoughts far too hazy to be any sort of embarrassed you hold his dark gaze. “Fuck me.”

Suddenly, his fingers are out of you and he’s bending you over, the head of his cock pressing into your dripping entrance before he sheathes himself completely in you, a hiss escaping him. His head drops to rest his forehead on your shoulder, droplets from his wet hair sliding down your chest as he composes himself from how fucking amazing you feel around him.

“Fuck,” he moans, the closest he’s come to breaking his resolve from just fucking you within an inch of your life. “So tight for such a needy slut,” he grits out, hands resting on your hips as he pulls out only to thrust into you again. His fingers dig into your hips to slam your ass into his, increasing his pace to the point you can barely see straight. Your own fingers scrabble for any sort of purchase on the tiles in front of you, desperately attempting to ground yourself against his brutal pace.

“You feel so fucking good,” you praise, earning you his hand reaching down to lift your leg onto the edge of the tub allowing him to sink even deeper into you.

The lewd sound of skin slapping together, the two of you panting and murmuring nonsense to each other, and the shower continuing to run fills the space as he continues to pound ruthlessly into you is all you’ve ever dreamed about. As he litters kisses and soft bites along your spine, the pressure in your stomach builds and builds, and before it bursts you gasp, “Oh my god—Kiyoomi.”

He notices your body starting to tense up, your back arching and fingers twitching as your orgasm comes hurtling towards you. Taking the opportunity, he pulls your body up, your back flush against his chest, hips never faltering and fingers finding your clit to bring you even closer to release.

“Cum for me,” he orders, voice so cold you feel a little embarrassed by how much it turns you on. But you know that’s just how he sounds sometimes and he’s probably playing it up a bit for you. “Cum on my cock like the good little slut you are.”

That sends you tumbling over the edge, your entire body convulsing as white-hot pleasure courses through your veins, prolonged by him continuing to plunge into you. The sensation is so overwhelming you start writhing in his grip, attempting to ride it out while he holds you firmly against him restricting your movement.

He can’t hold it back much longer, your walls clamping down around him nearly made him cum on the spot, but he holds you through your orgasm, forcing you to endure the full brunt of it while he continues fucking you. Though your body relaxing against his, your fingers winding into his hair, and your voice asking him so politely to cum for you makes him lose it. He grips your hips tightly, jackhammering into you chasing his release. Eventually his hips still, thighs shuddering as he concentrates on keeping the both of you standing while he cums.

The two of you stand there in silence, water still running, as his forehead rests on your back, both of your chests heaving at the exertion you just expended. Your heart is thundering against your chest, unsure what to say and hoping he’ll say something first. He groans, relinquishing your hips from his death grip and pulling his softening cock out of you.

You really shouldn’t have been surprised by what he says first.

“We should rinse off,” he suggests, despite the fact he’s still leaning on your back, hands now resting harmlessly on your hips.

“Okay,” you murmur, reaching for the soap and moving out of his grasp. He just stands there watching you, the water streaming onto his back, a completely passive expression on his face. If it was anyone else, they might have interpreted it as boredom or that he’s uninterested but to you—he just looks content.

You motion for him to turn around and start lathering the soap along his back, relishing the free chance to roam your hands all over his incredibly built body. Peering around his shoulder, you find him with his eyes closed, the smallest smile curving his lips as he enjoys your hands massaging his back. You smile to yourself, moving on to find his shampoo and gently scrubbing it into his hair, tucking the small pleased groan he makes into the back of your brain to remember later.

After a few quiet moments he says, “The apartment’s a mess.”

That makes you frown, a sour expression adorning your face. Poking his side, you reply, “Well, you weren’t supposed to be home for another three days!” He turns around, washing the soap off his back and out of his hair while you take no time to start exploring the expanse of his chest with your soapy fingers. When he opens his eyes, looking down at you, you pout. “Can’t we leave it for tomorrow?”

As much as he dislikes that, he can’t help but agree, finding the prospect of curling up in bed with you much more enticing.

Once he’s finished, he returns the favor washing your body, and the both of you step out of the shower to dry off. You pull on the pajama’s you’d left in here for after your shower that you thought you’d be taking alone while he simply wraps the towel around his waist, making it almost impossible not to stare at him as he waits for you.

You’re surprised when he leads you to his bedroom, changing into pajama’s of his own as you slide under the covers. They smell like detergent and the faint scent of Sakusa’s body wash, wrapping around you pleasantly—you take an indulgent breath, letting the scent soak into your senses. It gets even better when he joins you, hand resting on your bare arm, fingers drawing small circles against your skin. He gives you a soft kiss to the forehead, enjoying your freshly showered body against his beneath the sheets and your fingers in his hair.

“You know I honestly didn’t think you knew how to kiss,” you joke, tapping his chin, “With the mask and all.”

He peers down at you, the subtlest glint in his eyes as he replies, “Have I changed your mind?”

Your resulting cheeky smile makes his pants feel a little tight. “I think you might need to show me again.”

[outropeace]

elotito tagged me on this so i’m gonna do it for her <33333

1. describe how you first started writing and when you first posted

i began to write in general since i was around 14 like any other emo kid kdjdjsks and o began to write fics when a friend asked me for one as a birthday present. it was written in a hurry and it’s not my favorite but i really enjoyed doing it. i posted that exact same fic on their birthday

2. which of your characters do you typically resonate most closely with? do you base any characters off of yourself?

it depends the fic i guess. and not really, i think the closest i’ve been to do that is in the rockstar au (coming to the @bottomlouisficfest very soon), i put one or two of my old insecurities in h so he could connect better and wouldn’t be persieved as just an asshole-y dude cause i don’t like that and louis don’t deserve that uwu🌸

3. where do you often find inspiration?

music, movies, tiktoks (DONT JUDGE KDKDKS)

4. has quarantine helped or hindered your writing process?

before the quarantine i had around 3 wips, now i have 8

5. do you listen to music/noise while you write or do you prefer silence?

i listen lofi youtube playlists shjdkld

6. what is your biggest writing pet peeve in your writing or in general?

me repeating “Oh...” over and over again through tall my fics, it shouldn’t be legal

7. describe your ideal writing setup

rainy day, good coffee, comfy sweater, my cat besides me, arely sending texts about teeth/imessage games, snacks

8. favorite time of day to write?

nights (it’s usually when i have time)

9. favorite genre to write + one you’d like to try writing in the future?

i’d LOVE to write a thriller

10. do you struggle with writer’s block? how do you typically overcome it?

i just leave the fic for a bit, i don’t really like to push myself about this cause i’m just doing it for fun

11. what is the easiest part of your writing process and the most difficult?

the easiest is the dialogues, i could write pages and pages of just dialogues in hours and the hardest is the smut dhjdd

12. how do you come up with original characters? (if applicable)

it depends, is the antagonist? i ask myself how’d i feel if i were them, like a third party just trying (and usually failing) to get in between

13. what is your favorite and least favorite word?

i like “wet” i just... yeah.... and least favorite i don’t really know tbh

14. what is one thing about your writing that you’re really proud of and one thing you hope to continue working at?

i like that people conect with the characters because i always put a lot of effort in making them realistic (as much as i can), i make them flawled and sometimes even messy but with good hearts and intentions, all of them are (even the antagonists). and my grammar OH MY GOD MY GRAMMAR

15. what work of yours has your favorite ‘verse/world building? how did you come up with it?

hands down the ice prince fic. and funny thing is, i already had my prompt for the fic fest but i just couldn’t stop thinking about one particular prompt about a bratty prince and an alpha who hated omegas and the amount of POSSIBILITIES that had. two days later or so, the mods of the fest gave us the opportunity to pick another prompt if we wanted and the rest is HISTORY

16. what font and size do you write in? single spaced or double?

11 and single

17. what is a typo(s) you find yourself making consistently?

baby do we have TIME FOR THIS ONE?

18. (if applicable) do you separate fic writing from fandom?

yes, always 100000000%

19. what emotion is your favorite to write? which is the most difficult?

angst, sadness, anguish, sorrow, jealousy, i love to hurt hearts. and it’s not an emotion but after they get together it’s really difficult to me to actually keep going (oh god dkdkdkkdd)

20. what is one thing you hope readers always take away from your works?

that that’s okay to fuck up, that no matter the circumstances you have to respect your partner and TALK WITH THEM and that a person can be successful, independent and a badass while being soft and a c*mslut

21. what is the best and worst writing advice you’ve ever received?

i think “write whatever you like, you’re not being paid for it anyways” is the best and only advise i’ve actually listened to

22. which one of your works would you most want to see turned into a film/television show?

it’s complicated cause my two favorites are abos and idk how that would work dkskkss but the ice prince and the alpha/alpha fic

23. do you write scenes chronologically or out of order?

chronologically but i have a document apart where i write everything that comes to my mind at the moment, that one is A MESS

24. how do you handle criticism?

i think good, if it’s respectful

25. what is the advice you would give to someone who is looking to start writing?

trust yourself, have fun

26. what kind of feedback on your work always makes your day?

ANY type of positive feedback makes my day tbh

27. which fic ‘verse of your own would you most like to exist in? which fic’s characters would you most like to befriend?

none tbh dkdkks and louis, obviously

28. what do you always enjoy getting asks about/wish people would ask about more?

about my stories, i love when people just come to rant to me about certain things the characters did and ask me why they did it

29. what has writing added to your life? how has it changed you?

it relaxes me a lot. i just can write for hours and hours and it just feels nice and in some way exciting

30. why do you write?

refer to question 29 kdkdkxk

boost yourself + tags!

1a. share the last sentence you wrote

from the exes to lovers au:

The second hiccup of the night came in the form of his ex smiling to a boy sitting next to him on a couch. The boy had gorgeous, dark and wild hair, clear hazel eyes and a pretty pouty mouth. Their body language screamed attraction and that they both were ready to devour each other. Louis was familiar to the smile Harry was giving to him, bright and seductive, ready to give anything you asked for.

2a. describe the wip you’re most excited about

right now i’m very excited for the happiest season au, my “cliche story” au and for my exes to lovers au dksks i’m excited about a lot of my wips i’m so sorryjdjd

3a. share the piece of dialogue from one of your works you’re most proud of

from the alpha/alpha au:

“I’m not giving up on love,” He softly touched the hand that was still grabbing his thigh. “To me, love is like flowers. Each one needs a special treatment, if you give an orchid the same treatment you give to an iris, the orchid will die. Same thing with love. I’m not giving up on love, I’m just changing the treatment. We might not be an orchid, but we could make such a pretty iris.”

4a. share the best first and last lines from your work(s)

favorite first line from the sugar baby au:

Powerful people only end up with powerful people. The rest are just playthings in their lives. Louis Tomlinson was many things, but he wasn’t anybody’s plaything.

favorite last line from the ice prince fic:

“Who would have guessed…” Harry whispered after a while, smiling against Louis’ lips. “the dragon finally got to keep the princess.”

5a. link the last fic you read

HAYLEY’S MASTERPIECE

6a. link the last work you published

that’d be the ice prince fic

7a. link to your ao3 (if applicable)

hereee

8a. someone that inspires you

louis teheeee

9a. a comfort fic/work that you’ve been grateful for this year

god, again, there’s so so many of them, like the amount of authors i’m so grateful for, the list is infinite but these are a few that comes to my mind

all elote’s (@defencelesst) fics makes me really really happy and never fails to give me a cozy/wintery feeling, her louis IS THE MOST PRECIOUS THING ON EARTH AND HER HARRY IS JUST PERFECTION, i’m in love with her descriptions and how she just takes you THERE. hanis @loulicate-recs always makes me smile so fucking hard. ris @falsegoodnight fics NOW.... well.... ris fics they make me smile but also make me want to throw my phone to the other side of the room BEST OF BOTH WORLD IG. MAR’S FICS (loubellies on twitter, idk their @ here i’m sORRY) ARE LITERALLY ONE OF MY FAVORITE AUTHORS AT THE MOMENT, such a pretty louis IM SO IN LOVE WITH MAR’S LOUIS ITS UNFAIR

10a. other writers that you’d like to tag!

omg i’m probably so late to this and idk how many of you have actually done this so here goes nothing @allwaswell16, @runaway-train-works, @greenfeelings, @kingsofeverything, @thepolourryexpress, @larents

[whaleofatjme1920]

heyo can i request a romantic matchup with one of the creepypasta guys perhaps??

-im 20 years old with dark brown fluffy short hair that goes just a bit above my shoulders. im bisexual and i go by she/they pronouns. im 5'6. im a cancer sun, virgo moon, and sag rising. im also female!

-im an infj!

-i like making flower crowns for people, custom earrings, and rings! i rlly love nature and the woods so i enjoy walking along on a path or settling down by a relaxing river to have a nice lil picnic :)

-swimming is a big thing for me, i love just jumping into a lake and swimming around yk?

-i rlly love indie, rock, grunge and 50's to 90's music. i have a great love for 80's movies and the horror genre.

-i love superhero and action stuff like the avengers and x-men as well as stuff from DC.

-uhmm im an artist. i do trad but also digital art. if i paint i like to paint scenery. im also a singer and i write my own songs. i play the guitar and the ukulele!!

-i own two rats and two cats! yes they get along lmaodksjsj. im a witch whos into crystals, herbs, dieties and all. i do tarot and pendulum. i love drinking tea especially mint and chamomile teas.

-things i dislike: alcohol, someone yelling at me, aggressiveness, going on boats, too much heat, summer, thunderstorms, chicken, being alone in the extreme dark in a place like the woods, seeing or hearing stuff like people gagging or their nails being ripped off :// (i can somehow take gore tho-)

-things i like: tea, some coffees, sunflowers, motorcycles, cuddling, relaxing inside on my bed while its raining outside, the calming sound of rain, autumn, when its chilly out, seafood

-i actually rlly love reading and sometimes I like to write lil short stories or make up characters but not too deep into them. just fun little things yk?

-i kinda rlly like playing w ppls hair- like having them sit in my lap. or having them do it to me.

-omg chasing each other in an empty (empty as in like no other ppl) pretty field during a picnic date with our favorite music on?? YES PLS

-WATCHING THE SUNSET AND SUNRISE OMGGG

-i don't rlly plan on having kids :/ i don't do well with them so. fur babies as in pets tho! ABSOLUTELY

-i kinda would be a big spoon but also a little spoon. i'd do either.

-if im being honest one of the downsides of me is that I get emotional quickly in an argument :// or like I get defensive or if someone yells at me I get sad and start crying. I don't seek out fights tho and I try to avoid them.

-despite how much I like to talk im an ambivert leaning towards introvert. I get panic-y quick in public w people I don't know and im rlly nervous but i try to be as friendly as possible and keep a convo going. around my friends and stuff tho im an absolute goof ball!

-i like staying home tbh its calming

-i don't like seeing messy things eiakssksk i like organization but im not controlish about it. I like to clean tbh its kinda fun.

-my love language is honestly quality time and touch. some words of affirmation is nice too tho,, sometimes I get scared someone will get bored of me and leave ://

-i love to buy or make ppl gifts! i like to see people happy. the look on ppls faces when they see that i bought them something they rlly love makes me warm and fuzzy :,))

-im not rlly a jealous person tbh. but if someone outright is happening like obvious flirting,, i WILL say something if my partner isn't taking care of it themself.

-honestly i love being a goof but when its time to be serious ill be serious

-i talk alot so i need someone who'll be willing to listen to me talk and be interested in what im saying EIOSLAKS ill also absolutely listen to anything they say :))

-i don't care abt body types or looks rlly and im not just saying that.

-i love to remind ppl that they're stunning and gorgeous and they deserve the world 😩🤌

-i like having deep convos about random things. like who found out that we should drink cow milk? why are wild animals just fine w out toothpaste but we absolutely need to brush our teeth??

-id love to cook or bake something with someone :))

-i can't rlly think of anything else to say abt myself so

Your matchup is... Hoodie/Brian Thomas!

In general:

Took me a hot minute or so but I ultimately decided on Brian because it's the vibe I'm getting. Let's elaborate on that.

What he likes about you:

I always start out with the physical stuff first and I'm just going to say that Brian really likes your hair! Thinks it is absolutely gorgeous and fun. Will compliment how fluffy it is. Likes that you're into nature, crafty, and your music choice! Thinks your art is super fun and will want to see it. Thinks your singing voice is absolutely beautiful. Coming back to this. Your pets are fun to him as well, and your likes just seem to really line up with him y'know?? Especially loving Autumn, rain, when it's chilly, all that kind of fun stuff.

General cute things:

ALright, I feel like swimming outings would be a thing between the two of you. Brian likes water. It's just the vibe I get. Make him flower crowns please lmfao. Brian is soft and actual sunshine when he wants to be. He will watch the sunrise and sunset with you!!! He loves to just strum his guitar in the early mornings, listening to the birds sing. I feel like music dates would be a thing between the two of you. Just sitting in a flower field, watching the world go by, singing and all that cute stuff. Brian is admittedly a bit of a home body as well, so like,,,,,, hey. Just the two of you curling up on the couch, taking naps? Yes. Brian will occasionally get you gifts of things that remind him of you. He also gives me the vibe that he would get you flowers just because he thinks you'll find them pretty. He will goof around with. ALSO, Brian loves to listen to you!! Please talk to him about whatever is on your mind and I guarantee he's going to love it!! You being such a sweet person makes his heart sing? Like, you just reaffirming all the things he needs to hear make him so happy. He will also play with your hair, and on other days, he will rest his head on your lap and you can play with his.

You two as a couple:

Y'know, I think the only thing that might be a bit of a talking point between the two of you is the not having kids thing. Brian strikes me as such a strong family man. However, I don't think he's incapable of bending, so if the two of you want to be fur parents, he'd be just fine with that. Other than that, one of Brian's love languages is touch to like, be prepared for hugs, kisses, all that wholesome stuff. He's definitely a bit of an insomniac so like, please spend time with him cuddling on the roof while the two of you talk about anything and everything. Brian will definitely cook and bake with you as well, seeing those are two things he loves to do. You won't ever have to worry about jealousy with Brian because he's a king of "I have a partner stop speaking to me :)" You can also spoon him, he'd find that comforting. Brian prioritizes communication, so if you start crying, or anything like that, he'll give you some space and then come back to it. He doesn't want to cause you any harm, but some things need to be spoken about. Brian will also be your rock if the two of you go out in public and you're not very happy or overwhelmed. I swear, he's always going to be there for you.

Closing thoughts/other things:

Hi love bug, sorry this is late. The matchups were giving me some wonky type of burn out, but it's here now. To answer your thing about why animals don't need toothpaste, it actually has a lot to do with their diet! They don't eat refined sugars or the high amount of acids we do, and they also tend to eat way more twigs, sticks, bark, bones and even grass that help keep their mouths free of debris. Tell me about your characters and stories! One of my favorite things to do outside of running this blog is OCs and world building. Again, apologies for this being late. Tumblr doesn't timestamp when things come in so I just kinda guess?? I imagine it's been here for a while, my bad, I've been working out of order now. As always, let me know what you think and I hope you enjoyed!

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #416

“don’t pray for me when you’re the one to blame  /  don’t think of me when you go up in flames”

Does your town/area have a farmer’s market? Do you ever buy your vegetables there rather than grocery store? Not close enough for us to actually go there for groceries, no. If you had a significant other and somehow got a chance to kiss your celebrity crush, would you still go for it? Well no, given Mark's been in a serious relationship for like six years, and I'd feel disloyal to my partner. I can just dream about it, ha ha. Do you tend to be attracted to people that are more similar to you in interests and mannerisms or do you tend to be attracted to someone opposite/complementing to you? I tend to be drawn to people I'm more similar to. What is a talent that a lot of other people desire or value but you really don’t care to have (e.g., singing, etc.)? *shrug* If someone asks you to hang out, but for some reason you’re just feeling lazy/don’t want to go anywhere, do you ignore them, make up an excuse, or just tell them the honest truth? Tbh, odds are I'm making up an excuse. Would you like to meet an alien? That would depend on its motives. It might have wisdom to share, or it may be nefarious, in which case I don't wanna meet it obviously. If so, would you trust them enough to go back with them to their planet? That's a no no matter how it acts. Trust issues, my friend. And that's with humans. What do you think is at the end of space. It's kinda science that space is infinite... Do you like D&D or Magic: The Gathering the most? I've never played D&D because I know I would be way, way too awkward to actually do it. M:TG is fun, though. What is your favorite Disney movie? TLKKKKK. What’s your favorite book series? Wings of Fire tops the list right now, but Warriors will always have a very special place in my heart. What’s something you wish they’d build in your neighborhood? Idk. Do you usually keep ponytail holders around your wrist? No. I don't even wear my hair in a ponytail because it's too short. Sunny D or orange juice? Orange juice. I have to be in a very specific mood for Sunny D. Can you snap out of a bad mood fast? Nooooo, unless something drastically good happens. How can a person tell if you’re mad or annoyed? My face will probably give it away, mixed with me being short and snippy or more awkward than normal because I'm trying to not be a bother. What’s something you enjoy that’s outside your age level? Certain TV shows. When your friends come and hang out at your house, what do you get up to? The only friend I have that I hang out with once in a blue moon is Girt, and we'd usually play board games or watch TV. Do you think it’s ignorant for people to have unprotected sex when they’re not ready for a child? Yes. Like yes, I'm pro-choice so won't look down on someone getting an abortion, but I still think you should be willing to act to prevent things from getting to that point where that procedure is chosen. For it or against it, abortion is a serious decision and should be treated as such. What were your favourite things to do as a child? My favorite thing had to be video games, specifically Spyro, and I also adored Webkinz and Neopets on the computer. I also loved playing make-believe with my toys like every other kid. I loved watching Dad play video games, too. I've also been a drawing fiend since I was very little. If you were shopping with your best friend, and they picked an outfit that was completely unflattering, would you tell them? I honestly don't know if I would. Her being comfortable and happy in it is what matters, anyway. Do you prefer using air-con or having the windows down when you’re driving on a hot day? Team A/C for sure. I hate the feeling of wind just slapping the hell outta your face and making a nest out of your hair. Can you ever manage to finish three courses when you go out to eat at restaurants? No. What would you say your favourite farm animal is? Pigs! They are so incredibly misunderstood. They're very intelligent, CLEAN (I know, can you believe it?), silly, and happy animals that I just adore. Is your ex currently in a relationship and if yes, how do you feel about that? Idk if "the" ex is with anyone, and it's for the better I don't, probably. Which one of your friends should be a stand-up comedian? Girt. Is your mom a better driver or your dad? Oh yeah. Dad tailgates like a motherfucker. What's your least favorite genre of music? Either rap or country, idk. Do you like poems? I do. Do you enjoy drawing? I have a love-hate relationship with it. I LOVE when something comes out the way I wanted it to, but if it doesn't, I feel very disappointed in myself and bash it into my head that I could do better. Do you even have any drawing talent? So I'm told. Have you ever seen The Sound of Music? Yes, in elementary school's music class. Ever seen Beetlejuice? If so, did you enjoy it? Oh yes, that was one of Jason's favorites. I liked it. How do you deal with oppressive heat? Complain, sweat my ass off, do anything I can to cool off that doesn't involve taking clothes off. What’s one thing that people definitely CAN’T count on you for? To remember pretty much anything whatsoever. What about something they definitely can count on you for? An ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on. How do you feel about your handwriting? I like it. Is there a store that bothers you immensely for some reason (people who shop there irritate you or the employees who work there are rude, etc.)? Uhhhh I don't think so. What’s something you complain about frequently? If I'm hot, or my legs hurting. If you’re home alone and someone knocks on the door, what do you do? Ignore it. I'm not answering. What’s one book that you have read that will stick with you forever? Johnny Got His Gun by Dalton Trumbo. It's an anti-war pacifism novel, which is something I'm very much passionate about. Would you ever get one of those old school “mom” tattoos with the heart? No. I know with certainty I want a tribute to my mom when she passes, but definitely not that design. Are you a Giants fan? I don't care for sports, but the NYG always make me think of Jason's dad, who is like, obsessed with them. So I guess I feel a bit of warmness towards them just for memory's sake. Last time you went pumpkin picking? Never. Do you prefer eating corn straight off the cob or corn already taken off the cob? I think corn on the cob tastes better with all the butter and spices you can put on it, but I do enjoy off the cob too because it's just so much cleaner. Would you want your family to go on Wife Swap? Well, I live with my mom and she's divorced, so... I don't have to worry about this. How old is your current e-mail address? God, I've had it since I was a kid. Last time you conversed with someone in a language other than English? Not since taking a test for German in high school. Last video you favorited on YouTube? Oh my god, it was this video from my favorite reptile channel (Snake Discovery) of them taking their pet tegu to the park. She clearly had SO much fun. Now mind you I very rarely favorite things, so yeah, I adored the video. Do you like chocolate with coconut filling? Noooo, I'm not a coconut fan at all. What was the first thing you ate today? Mom made bacon, yuuuuum. Do you know how to play Mahjong? No. Mom loves it, though. Do you have any skirts longer than knee-length? I don't own any skirts. What’s the farthest you’ve gone with someone you weren’t dating? Just flirting. Ever had a promise ring? No. What about one of those “I’ll wait until marriage” rings (I think they’re called purity rings or something)? They're called abstinence rings, and yes, in HS. Funny how looking back I was definitely breaking that vow while I wore it lmao. What is the shortest time you’ve heard of people being together before getting married? My late grandma and her second husband got married SO fast. Like they were together for probably a couple months (maybe less?), then boom, the news came that they were engaged. Are any of your friends currently pregnant? Facebook friends, yes, which are mostly composed of old friends and acquaintances from school. One poor girl very recently got into a bad wreck, but thank goodness she and her unborn daughter are okay. Have you ever played golf? I loved playing putt-putt when I was younger, and then Jason and I once had a mini-golf date. It was really cute. When was the last time you waxed anything on your body, if ever? It's been some years since I used to wax my eyebrows. Have you ever been in a car accident? Yes. A minor one, but still. Can you honestly say you love the last person you kissed? Yep. Are you smiling in your Facebook profile picture? Yeah. Would you ever go on Fear Factor? Noooo. I would NEVER get past day #2 where they tend to do the disgusting shit, and I'm way too out of shape to do the wild stuff they do. What colour was the last mask you wore? Blue. Can any of your friends sing well? Which one has the nicest singing voice? Oh yes, Sara has an absolutely beautiful voice. When was the last time you had a nightmare? I had two last night, actually. I have this habit of taking my APAP mask off in the middle of the night because it's a nuisance, and I never remember doing so. When I do that, I'm much more prone to have nightmares because the mask helps my sleep apnea, which causes my nightmares/terrors. Where do you see yourself in ten years? I do NOT want to imagine this. It's either going to be beautiful or a fucking catastrophe, of that I'm sure. Does your family have traditions? Just pretty ordinary holiday ones. Have you ever met anyone half-way famous? Tez is famous, as far as I'm concerned. :') I also have some musician friends trying to make it, but idk how far they've actually gotten in the industry. Is there a celebrity that you are related to? No, just ancestors. Would you call your last relationship a mistake? Definitely not. Would you ever take up a job in photography? Ugh... that's the fucking dream. But I'm massively losing hope. Do you throw out your assignments once you’ve gotten them back? When I was in school, it depended on whether it would serve as good study material or not. Who was the last person you messaged on Facebook? My old friend Jenna messaged me a few days back just to say she was thinking about me and wished me well, which I really appreciated. Of course I messaged her back wishing her the same and all. Have you ever developed a crush on someone the first day you met them? Don't believe so, no. Do you have any friends who never shut up about their boyfriend/girlfriend? Well, I used to. She vanished. Have you ever showered with a member of the opposite sex? No. Don't want to. I want to be alone when I shower.

[kaisooficrec]

Well I feel down lately and all I need is some angsty fics. But nothing super heavy( I can't handle that sh*t). Like one of them mocks the other (bullying, tbh) and later he feels guilty, (you know they hurt the other but in deep, he likes him). I know I'm not good at explaining, I hope you guys know what I mean :/

Hey there! I’m profusely sorry we couldn’t get this ask out on time but I really hope you’re doing better. But angst is always (ironically) positive, so enjoy!

Bullying/Mocking:

They Were Not Friends - Age swap, oneshot. Jongin refused the friendship of his new neighbour back when they were kids, and even through middle school. When he gives them a chance, he realizes Kyungsoo is more than an owl-eyed dongsaeng. Light angst and some nice mild fluff to top it all.

Black Magic - A classic by now. Mama Powers!AU, dragons!AU, OT-12 and multiple pairings. The criminal turned student who can “hear” stones fascinates teleporter Kai and triggers instinctive tension between them. Kyungsoo is bullied for basically the entirety of the fic, but magic and smut and tons of plot, so an important read. 

What We Find - Soulmates!AU by Indigomini (a.k.a a certified masterpiece). Jongin waited his whole life to find his soulmate but once he does, his entire beliefs are shaken. Kyungsoo is just a heartbroken jerk and Jongin is the most precious human being. Read for guaranteed heart squeezes, laughs and frEAKY times. 

Boundless - Abusive relationship, dubcon. While massaging Jongin’s scared body, Kyungsoo doesn’t know if he passionately hates or horribly loves the manipulative bully terrified by storms. Pretty nice and dark. 

Omega Nini - Jongin is an omega who has been bullied for long before turning into a bully himself, which is a major turnoff to rich bulky alpha!Kyungsoo. Not angsty but mentions of violence.

loving can hurt, loving can heal - Or how a bee causes Kyungsoo and Jongin to break up. Could’ve been angstier but the hurt is there.

Unlikely Friends - Harry Potter!AU, (kind of) enemies to lovers. Hufflepuff!Jongin and Gryffindor!Kyungsoo hate each other but only because their pets don’t accept to be separated. The angst is very minimal but they have some bad times. (side XiuHan and SuChen)

Hurts the other but regrets later:

Everlasting Light - Well, WELL. That was some intense beautiful writing there. I don’t wanna spoil, but both are hurt and both go extreme lengths to forget each other. An awesome fic, more on the heavy side but it won’t leave you sad. I wish I knew it earlier.

SUNFLOWER - Kaileidohscope! They break up in college because of Kyungsoo’s addictions and meet years later in Chanyeol’s wedding. Jongin is basically perfect in this fic and the feelings are portrayed really realistically and beautifully. Great angst.

Anything You Can Do - Yes, another one by Indigomini, I’m barely sorry. A fiery love-hate relationship that lasts for too long before they allow themselves second chances. Not too angsty but not light neither, and hehe, smut.

Eunoia - That’s a short one, more poetic than angsty. But I actually loved the vibe, and Kyungsoo gets hurt in the process oops.

forest fires - Awesome mild angst. Kyungsoo and Jongin are students in Cambridge in the 20s but from different social casts. It’s beautifully written, Jongin is the best poet irl anyway and Kyungsoo’s a stuttering artist.

November Sky - Blind!Kyungsoo is the only one who was prepared enough to survive the apocalypse, alone, or at least until he opens his door and his house to a starved Southerner. Angsty towards the end, but mostly fluffy in a vague cozy way. 

Been Through - Non AU, around 2016. Kyungsoo flies to Japan with friends to spend his and Jongin’s birthdays away and sets off Jongin’s mixed feelings. It’s a pretty intense smutty oneshot, and the ending is barely happy but INDIGOMINI AGAIN SO YOU BET IT’S GOOD.

I know now (we were meant to be) - Kyungsoo is a wealthy man who despises his privileged life. It gets even worse when his new bodyguard appears to be his ex from his military days. I love lowkey tsundere/rebellious Kyungsoo and strong Jongin. 

Take Off - Jongin is an exceptional ballet dancer and Kyungsoo can’t live with the fact that he’s holding him back from his dreams. Typical angst, so on the intense side of mild. Actually really good.

Smile - Kyungsoo is a war survivor and Jongin loves everything about him. I know this is not really what you asked for, but *this* is the angst I read when I’m feeling down. Just CJ’s bonus.

Storm in a Teacup - Vampire AU. Kyungsoo is a human, and he really IS fine without a vampire bodyguard abut Jongin just wants to get his job done. It takes both of them near death experiences for Soo to accept him and hurts him pretty badly in the process. Still (bitter?)sweet and well written.

Says something that makes the other cry (pertains to some fics above, too):

Garnet Hearts - everybody should have read it at this point but!!!  royalty au and arranged marriage, uhm how many times we cried too when kyungsoo said something hurtful to poor jongin?? yea :oovv//

Through the Midnight Streets - Jongin’s bestfriend and long time crush dates a girl and doesn’t reciprocate his feelings when he finally expresses them. Years later, in Paris where Jongin is a ballet dancer, they meet again and Kyungsoo inadvertently hurts him again. This is a masterpiece. The angst is perfect but the setting is even more mesmerizing.

The last of The Wilds - supernatural / nymph / forest spirit and human. jongin can see kyungsoo, the forest spirit who was cursed by a witch and lost his lover and jongin is a carbon copy of him. jongin falls in love with kyungsoo but ksoo is so stubborn he hurts jongin many times jefhfhsdf

Well I really love angst and I actually have way more that I read when I’m feeling blue but I tried my best to stick to your request. Please don’t hesitate to check older asks for bully!Jongin, bully!Kyungsoo or angst in general here, here and here. Stay safe and happy!

- Admin Cookie

[bucci-gang]

Heyo have you done nsfw a-z with um formaggio? If you hadn't can i have one?

OH i haven't yet, but of course you can! ;0 I LOVE this man so damn much– apologies for the delay/weird format! I'm editing this on my phone ^^'

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

He tends to use up a lot if not all of his pent up energy during the deed, so although it might take him a while, he'd get to cleaning you both up first! Then he's down to either cuddle or eat— mostly the latter.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

On himself, he really likes his eyes and his arms! He's been told he has nice hips and thighs so that's been a real confidence booster for him. On a partner, he loves softness, but if he had to pick, he's definitely a boob man!

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

Formaggio kinda cums a lot and makes quite the mess when he's, ahem, spending some quality time with himself, and this of course extends to with a partner! He doesn't have much of a preference, but he does think cumming inside (whether it be in his partner's mouth, pussy or ass) is really hot.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He's fantasized to Risotto more than a couple of times. Mostly ones about domming the stoic capo, but he has most certainly thought of Risotto fucking him. Not that he'd ever admit to any of this, though.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

As a chronic flirt, he's quite experienced! He is a little bit hesitant to try some of the "harder" stuff, i.e. anything concerning blood or choking, but he's tried a lot from spanking to mild roleplay.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Cowgirl, hands down. He can't help it– sometimes all he wants is to lay back and watch his partner take care of him.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

He'll crack a few jokes here and there as per the usual Formaggio-fashion, but he's definitely more serious than his usual self.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

He doesn't really care much about it! But, since he sleeps around quite a bit, he's tidier than one would expect.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…) 

He's definitely not romantic to people he just met, but with a partner, he is most definitely. Formaggio coos and groans into their ear about how much he loves them and how good they feel– stuff like that.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

He does it quite a bit! Some members (namely Melone, Ghiaccio and Illuso) have walked in on him more than once, and it has... led up to one or two ocassional trysts.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Formaggio is into domming his partner; be it in a more gentler setting where he's praising and cooing at his partner, or even when he's a bit rougher and teasing them to no end. Nothing gets him off faster than seeing his partner begging and squirming for him.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

He doesn't have much of a preference, but he is into the idea of semi public sex!

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

He's mostly about words, and appreciative gazes. If his partner is a bit bolder and purposefully talk in a way that gets him hot, he'd be on them in a heartbeat. But, if his partner is a bit shyer, he has no problem teasing them until they give and tell him what he wants to hear.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He's not really into getting penetrated– whoops. He's tried it before, certainly, but it just isn't the same as getting to fuck someone. He also isn't really into degrading, not unless it's combined with some praising.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Formaggio is really good at giving– he always just seems to know what to do with his tongue and where to touch his partner to get them squirming. He has no preference over receiving or giving!

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

It depends on the day. Usually, he goes for slow and passionate, soon getting rougher as they go along, but he can totally do with it being rough from the start.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He loves them! Honestly, any action with his partner is good action.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Yes! He'd want to take risks and such, but he'd discuss it with his partner beforehand, making sure they were comfortable with things before he did anything.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Usually since he's so pent up, he can go for two rounds. But if things have been slow lately and he's had more time to just lounge around and do thing, he can usually last for three rounds before needing a long break.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

I don't think he owns toys tbh! I think the only toy he'd let a partner use on him is a collar or handcuffs, but otherwise he'd rather watch his partner use the toy on themselves, or him using the toy on them.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He only likes to drag it out as soon as his partner starts begging him to just ruin them already. He loves their flushed face and their cute, pleading voice.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

I wouldn't exactly say he's loud, but he can be quite vocal. He talks and talks during sex, but it's soft cooing, moaning and groaning at his partner. He tells them just how much he's enjoying this, and how good they feel.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

He and Risotto were actually each other's first male partners. Having been close to one another for a while, seeing each other naked wasn't really considered weird between them or anything, but maybe it had been the time of the night then, or the fact that they both haven't seen each other for a good couple of years...

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Honestly, he's packing! He's almost 8 inches, and fairly thick. He's uncut, and has a happy trail!

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

High to average! Again, his job leaves him feeling quite pent up or just otherwise bored sometimes, so he's gotta put in that energy elsewhere.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Once he and his partner are cleaned up, he usually drifts off pretty quickly! He usually tries to stay up to either chat or cuddle or both, but usually ends up falling asleep halfway through that anyway.

[spaceshipkat]

Hey I wanted to know what your opinion on the whole gritty dark realism thing in modern media that we have going on??? I started watching a oldish anime (tbh it’s only from like 2011) and even though it dealt with pretty dark topics, I suddenly remembered how watching media is supposed to be fun, and I actually went and watched Good Omens afterwards, and I got that same feeling, and it just sucks how “realism” sucks the joy out of things. There’s a reason we turn to fiction after all

hi anon! so my answer is...twofold, i think, bc 1) i do enjoy the gritty dark realism thing going on (though i really, really wish people would move away from the whole “everyone must suffer and the ending can’t be happy bc that’s how you really drive home suffering and grimdark and current society”) bc it often sheds light on topics that need to have light shed on them, and 2) i also do enjoy the more upbeat fiction that’s been created over the years (the kind that ends with a happy ending hard-won and whose plots aren’t steeped, marinated, and glazed with suffering and darker than dark darkness), and i wish it would be much more commonplace in common media. GOT, i think, has simply ushered in this new era of “everything must be darker than dark”. 

re: Good Omens, if i understand you correctly, you think it falls into the gritty dark realism category? if so, i disagree (respectfully!). to me, Good Omens has that perfect balance of dark and light, and its stakes carry the same weight as the darker fiction out there without falling into the same category of “everyone must suffer and the ending can’t be happy” bc, in large part, the ending is very happy: Satan is no more, the end of the world isn’t nigh, everyone lived but they had to work hard to get there, Crowley and Aziraphale have their breathing space and, imo, the roots of a real romantic relationship starting (i mean it was always romantic but secretively, if that makes sense. now, they can hold hands and kiss in public without being worried that they’ll be immediately smote over it bc Heaven and Hell have both agreed to leave them be thanks to their body swap), and Adam is simply human. even though everyone survives (even the bookshop and the Bentley) we (or at least i and the GO blogs i follow/my friends who’ve seen the show/read the book) don’t feel cheated by the lack of loss bc the characters had serious problems to deal with that made the ending feel hard-won and satisfactory. the arcs the characters went through (though Aziraphale’s is the most overt, imo) were realistic, compelling, and fulfilling. 

to stop myself from rambling (i’ve been known to do that with GO lately), we can compare that to the ending of Game of Thrones and how i hope Supernatural ends. GOT’s ending was beyond disappointing bc d&d seem to think that the only plausible ending is one where the characters suffer and/or die, and the endings they give us are ridiculously unsatisfying. i mean, we have Bran on the throne (despite the fact he has never said he wanted it--and personally, i hate and disagree with the whole “you don’t want power and that’s why you deserve/need it” shtick), Jaime dead (despite his redemption arc and character growth that would make it implausible for him to return to Cersei in the hands of good writers), Jon exiled to the North (i wasn’t upset by his ending, but i know others were), Dany dead (again, i wasn’t upset by the ending bc i never really cared for her, but i know that there were a lot of people who were upset and i do feel for them bc it was a shit ending for her), and fucking Bronn on the council (or whatever the hell the term is). how does any of that make sense? i don’t personally know a single person who was completely happy with the ending, despite the stupid award nominations that the writers and show got. GOT is a show of constant suffering and unhappy endings, and the fact it ended that way, too, left a lot of people disenchanted with it and upset over it. and yeah, some people argue that it was realistic for the show to end that way and keeping in-tone, but therein lies the crux of the matter: why must everything be dark and full of suffering? (how many times can i say dark and suffering in this answer?)

in Supernatural, i’m in a few endgame positive camps: the Winchesters both surviving*, destiel being canon (even if that canon is literally just Cas and Dean holding hands or saying “to the world” to each other in the same tone of voice Aziraphale uses in episode 6: i, for one, would probably melt into a puddle of goo over either of those endings for destiel, bc they say a lot without saying much. i think a lot of people who aren’t endgame destiel positive don’t seem to understand that that would scream everything to those of us who are positive, or who want destiel to be explicitly canon by the end. we don’t need them to fall into bed with each other for us to be happy--or at least i don’t--but i digress), and Cas becoming human by his own choice. Supernatural is definitely a dark show, but it has its light moments (i wouldn’t have stuck with it and fallen so in love with it otherwise, unlike with GOT bc i was far more a casual viewer there) and i really hope that the writers decide to end on a light note, too, so as not to fall into the same camp as GOT. if it does fall into the GOT camp, this 15-season show will go down, at least to me, as one of the biggest tragedies in fiction of the 2000s and 2010s, and even though the show brings me a lot of comfort, i don’t think i could look at it the same way if that’s how they chose to end it come the finale. the characters deserve a happy ending (to quote Dean, him, Sam, and Cas retired with their feet in the sand--and with Jack now, too, obv), and i hope that the writers choose to make this the dark story with light at the end instead of the dark story with an even darker ending. 

and i think that’s the best way i can describe my opinion on the gritty dark realism stories that have become so pervasive. write those dark stories (my stories are always dark) but infuse them with enough light to make people find comfort in them, to leave them happy by the end, to give them that sense of satisfaction for a conflict with an ending of victory. for as long as i’ve been writing (literally half of my life now, since i started when i was 12 and i’m now 24), i’ve always written a hard-won ending with a bit of hope, even if there was a lot of darkness toward the end, even if it’s the first of a series. i don’t enjoy stories that are an entree of darkness with a side of darker darkness complete with a darker than dark dessert, so i tend to steer far from those or prepare myself going in (with Supernatural, i’m optimistic about a light ending, but i’m also keeping my expectations in-check bc i can’t be certain). 

i’ve said before that i hope that Good Omens the TV show’s success ushers in a new era of stories ending on a light note so people leave them happier than they came in (or satisfied by a hard-won victory that doesn’t end in suffering for everyone involved even if they’re on the winning side: GOT versus Good Omens, really, since GOT is 100000000% guilty of that fucked up kind of ending) and can find comfort in them. i want my books to be the kind where people can reread them for the comfort of finding that happy ending, and i hope i’ve achieved that (since i’m only just now getting into standalones, i’m really only just beginning to challenge my ending chops since my other books were the first of series and thus needed to have that hard ending with a dash of hope, whereas my standalones are free to end with hard-won happiness--tbh, @ripley-stark would be the only one who can say if i’ve achieved that, considering she’s the only one on here who’s read my first standalone from start-to-finish), bc those are the kinds of stories i seek and appreciate and love. 

does that answer your question? i think i just rambled a lot, as per usual. heh. 

*to go off-topic and fall into the land of speculations that i tend to stay out of, Jensen and Jared have both said they want Sam and Dean to die by the end bc that’s the only way they’d ever stop hunting. recently, Jensen said that the ending wasn’t what he expected and that he had to come to terms with it, though he now understands it and thinks that the audience will, too. there’s a huge part of the audience who want Sam and Dean to die by the end, too. however, Jensen’s comment has only further cemented my endgame positive outlook, since if Sam and Dean survive that would go against what he and Jared have wanted or expected to happen for years now, thus forcing him to come to terms with it. i know some people have been really worried by his comments, and obviously we shouldn’t put much stock into them bc the ending is a year away, it was an interview and you can’t rely on interview answers to make solid predictions, and PR isn’t showrunning, but it only helped bolster me upon going into the final season. 

[nyanzaya]

@aquaaes inquired: -crashes into ur inbox for that url shit cause i need that validation-

Send Me A URL and I’ll Respond With My Opinions… Im a week late or something bro - Still accepting

Roleplaying/Writing

My favorite muse(s) of theirs and why: OH GOSH BRO. LISTEN. I don’t interact with like, a lot of your boys and I feel the bad but I really like Haru because uh, he’s your baby and you write him so well and I also like Makoto even though I like, forgot to reply to that starter... I ADORE IKUYA? HE’S ADORABLE? AND I DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW HE ISN’T DONE WITH EVERYONE’S BS. SAME WITH THAT ONE GUY YOU HAVE AND THAT OLD MAN GUY WHO I SAID HIS VINE IS ’YOU CANT KILL ME IM A BAD BITCH” LIKE WHY ARE THEY SO FUNNY TO ME I DON’T UNDERSTAND IT. I love love LOVE your Izaya like, I cry at night and work when I think about him and then I think about IzaIza and don’t...don’t ask me if I’m okay. Because I’m not. I’m not okay. My favorite interaction/thread of theirs: Bro... the interactions between Yukine and that one Izaya? It’s so amusing. Then literally anything with the otp3 you have I just-- can’t recall their blog names atm but it’s with Haru and Rin and you use Ikuya. Can’t even LIE anything with the old man guy and that one guy who was like ‘if you kiss more than 6 times you’s not friend an’more’ LOL LIKE PLEASE. For us like, I gotta say the Iza/Izaya interactions idk they are like our oldest ship, I think they are like 4 or 5 years old which is, uhm, wild? It feels like....they hadn’t actually gotten to do much together but that’s because Izaya just “Bye bitch” a lot and other things. Even though I also really liked the stuff we had with Haru/Iza too, it as pure. My thoughts on their unique characterization/interpretation of their muse(s): I’ll start with Haru because, what the fuck. What the FUCK BRO. I never, ever in my entire life watched Free! Never have, not sure if I will but literally you make me love Haru and I don’t even know his whole like, story bro. How you do that? Like; wtf. You got me to love a character I thought I’d never really care about because the way you write him is so? fucking? impressive? BELIEVE ME. I always thought Haru was just a stoic guy that every anime needs because ‘oh we need a silent type’ but bro... You write him to be so much more. He is still quiet/silent hell yeah but, holy shit. You actually make it fucking interesting? LIKE? EXCUSE ME? Your use of body language and soft sounds is amazing! I honestly really appreciate it a lot, considering the fact my muses (mostly Iza) rely on reading body language quite a bit to understand another person. You just know how to write it so naturally and beautifully into a character like Haru who doesn’t use much words. Then fucking Izaya. Holy fuck. I absolutely ADORE your Izaya so much because it FEELS like it’s Izaya? Like, listen. He probably is very different from how he was years ago but he still has the soul and heart of a true bastard sad man who loves humanity. He’s so fun to write with and I always get so happy to write with him like; it’s a god damn privilege to me to get to write with him? Like I never thought I’d ever get to write with him because ya know, I was a personal blog before I actually started Rping and lmfao our meeting was so funny. You spam liked my blog because it was literally just full of drrr and quotes and I was like “This has to be a sign. they gotta like me because they followed me right have WHAT DOES THIS MAKE US?” And I did it back I think. LMFAO IT WAS SO DUMB BUT THAT’S HOW WE GOT TO TALKING. Listen kids, if you want someone’s attention literally spam like about 40 posts and follow them right after. It’ll definitely send the signal that you want to talk to them.  My thoughts on their writing style as a whole: UGH PLEASE YOU BLESS ME AND EVERYONE WHO READS It. YOU MIGHT NOT THINK ITS GOOD BUT IT IS OKAY? ITS GREAT! YOU LITERALLY HAVE A GREAT WAY WITH WORDS BRO Situation(s)/Plot(s) I’d love to see their muse(s) in: Bro... I don’t even know... but maybe an AU Transitior, like you remember that game right? LOL Maybe Haru as Red? And Rin as the sword? or the other way around?? :eyes:  Someone else I love seeing them interact with: oh god I can’t even decide because all of them make me just aaaaaa but prob anything with freestyleharu Anything else I want to say about their roleplaying: BRO. Your writing is inspirational, easy to follow and it’s fun to read. You are definitely doing something right and I’m just?? Proud of you :”> 

If We Know Each Other

What I Think Are Their Best Qualities: fun to chat with? Crazy fun ideas. Communicative once comfortable. A meme lord.  What I Think Are Their Strengths: In terms of personality, I can’t even tell you because we are so ride or die I don’t even know. I just love how we can talk about anything and it’s not weird or awkward. In terms of Rp; being able to work with pretty much any idea. Good at winging threads, especially if it’s a first interaction. Super friendly! Unless you are their close friend then they mean, but in that good way. A Memorable OOC Interaction Of Ours:

This sums up our entire relationship 

Why Others Should RP With Them: If you want someone who would be as excited about a thread as you are, Vati is your boy. He has so many muses too from various fandoms so there’s so many things that could happen! All you have to do is just, know which muse you want to interact with and then jump in and Vati will literally return the favors right quick How Others Should Approach Them: Despacito memes in the DMs. That’s it. Or liking all their posts and then following them like they done to me then I guess that works too LOL be friendly with him and he’ll return it so fast it’s like you guys was friends from a past life. Other Roleplayers I’d Recommend To Them: Bro.... I don’t even know okay. I think you already follow everyone I rp with so I can’t recommend anymore LMFAO Anything else I want to say about them: I love you bitch, I ain’t never gonna stop loving you. Bitch. 

If We Have/Plan To Interact Together

A plot I’d like to write with them: Fuck plot lmfao. There isn’t really a plot I have in mind? I mean... I guess something with Iza’s v; grand finale verse but he does die in that one. I wouldn’t even know which muse would even deal like Izaya could but *laughtrack.wav* or maybe a plot with Iza and Haru but legit, no idea what plot. My brain keeps going back to Izabel LOL and that plot you kept sending me with the whole airplane crash and not revealing if Ringabel was on it or not. A muse I want to introduce to them: I think you already know all my muses? At least my active ones, like Zuo and our cursed content son Iza. There’s Aiko and Asher(zuo’s mom and then the kid he adopted) but i think you know them already. There’s also...Kata(Iza’s mom) but she’s like no where to be found lol. Iza’s kittens(Axel, Akira, Leon) But I don’t think any of your muses would want to deal with his kits LOL. Then there’s Mira who’s Iza in a future life and Vui who’s Iza’s pet cat. Course there’s Iza’s two life masters but i don’t really know about them xD A ship/broship I’d like to propose to them: I think Haru and Iza are kind of already a broship that could turn into something shippy probably and I think with Zuo and Gou they kind of are bros. Tbh I think either of my boys could be good or okay friends with any of your muses? Even the request ones but i don’t even know LOL Ship wise, like I guess Makoto and Iza would be cute AF tbh A thread with them I’m excited about: Our IzaIza one as always LOL then, because I remember you wrote me a thing with Makoto I have to respond to that one because I honestly just forgot-- I think that one would be cute even if Iza is hurt in that one.  Anything else I want to say: I’m really like, thankful for you because without you I wouldn’t be here writing Iza and Zuo. You don’t even know how much it means to me that you helped encourage the creation of this horrible dumb cat. I might of dragged you back to tumblr, but like I genuinely you’re having fun. We might not write much together and I understand the whole thing with muses needing to recharge or get in the mood so I can wait forever and wait my turn because I’d always be happy after month to get something from you. It just means more to me that you’re having fun because you kind of deserve to have fun anyway.

[sadiesdolls]

So there’s all these new dolls coming out lately and I feel like I haven’t talked about any of them!

I’m in a weird place with collecting right now, I’ve been downsizing pretty much everything from fabric stash to stock box dolls, because my new workspace is a little smaller than my old one—and the old one was already overcrowded. It’s still an upgrade because it’s a nicer space with more light and NO CARPET. (Listen you haven’t known true hell until you’ve had a carpeted sewing room,,,,,)

But anyway, I’ve been thinning out my doll collection to just my favorites of each brand so I can add more variety in brands while having fewer dolls overall, and I’ve been adding a few specimens of new-to-me brands as I go. But there haven’t been any new doll lines coming out that I’ve been really interested in for ages.

Monster High was what got me into collecting modern fashion dolls in the first place. (I used to sew for AG dolls but that wasn’t about collecting the dolls as much as it was about learning to sew in scale, so I don’t really count that as the beginning of my collection.) So when MH rebooted I stopped actively collecting for a while and downsized my monster collection. When MTMs came out I was pretty impressed and I got myself a couple of new playline Barbies just to see if I enjoyed them—right around then is when I started my doll blog & Insta. I like MTM bodies and I like the Barbie format, but I prefer older and collector line heads, so I’ve been accumulating Barbies that I like but a bunch of them I don’t love. The HP dolls are fun and I’ve been collecting those because I’m kin with Sirius Black and therefore I’m ride or die for Potter (only half joking! 🙃) but there’s nothing really unexpected about them and they don’t feel new, ya know? And I picked up one each of the main Descendants gals because I’m a Disney goblin punk and I love their aesthetic but I don’t feel the need to collect any more or get into customizing them.

So you’d think I’d be excited about all these new doll lines coming out, and I am, absolutely. I’m so happy to see variety and edginess and quality again!! Wild Hearts Crew could only be more My Aesthetic if they were still werewolves and monsters! LOL OMG is like if somebody rebooted Bratz only good and with actual modern concept fashion instead of lazily printing the word selfie on a ripped t shirt!! She-ra? Absolutely rad, character dolls of characters I love, executed pretty well! Capsule Chicks? They look super neat for what they are, too small scale for me but obviously high quality and it’s great to have articulated dolls in fantasy colors in that scale for the people who want them! I’m even a fan of the bobblehead thing so it’s nice to see so many lines still using it.

But I don’t feel much like actually getting any of them? And I’m not sure why. WHC Cori is amazing and probably the one I’m most likely to get, and I am GAGGING for those punky fashion packs, and OMG Neonlicious is pretty cool, she’s like a chibi Leeloo. But eh. I thought maybe I was just stuck on the whole downsizing make sure it sparks joy thing, and maybe I should pick up the ones I was on the fence about so I don’t miss them, but seeing the X-Men Barbies and realizing I’m SO EXCITED for a couple of them (idgaf about Dark Phoenix—idegaf about Jean Grey when she’s not evil tbh) has made me realize I’m just not that excited about playline dolls right now. I hope all these new lines do well and continue to have high quality releases, and I can see myself getting excited about some of them in the future, especially WHC. But I think I’ll probably focus more on adding a few collector line Barbies or higher quality older dolls of various brands to my collection and making customs with old stock instead of acquiring more new playline dolls, at least for a while. I guess I feel like, even though MH ended a while ago and I’ve been collecting since then, being a MH collector for so long sort of burned me out on the thrill of acquisition, so now I want to focus more on adding things because I want to keep them and less on buying a new thing because it’s new.

[soysaucevictim]

I’ve been worrying myself sick lately... but the day finally came. And I still feel a level of uncertainty - the hard part of things is over for the time being.

-

June 4

I got up  around 7:30 AM again.

Socialized, went to Seeking Safety, did some Resilient Grieving reflection (but not a lot), and listened to music.

Still feel pulled in way too damn many directions. And I can’t even ENGAGE any of them until the hearing happens and what the verdict is going to be. And I’m so fucking frustrated, more with myself, that I just can’t make myself do that lately. I know it’s probably going to pass once The Day happens. And it will be SOME kind of relief (be it favorable result or not), once I have something to work with. I feel like no one is being patient with me, including myself, despite how clearly evident how much distress I’m in.

There’s some complex grief response shit I need to work on, the fear of getting my teeth fixed, the fear of learning to fucking drive, the fear that I don’t understand what the fuck my needs/priorities are (and the support I deserve towards them), the sense of falling far too behind on house work that needs to be done, the feeling of making excuse after excuse - that I’m not trying hard enough, and being too gawd damn frazzled to get my sleep (also medication & exercise) schedule somewhere fucking sensible again. And everything just feeds into each other and makes me want to fucking scream sometimes.

ANYWAYS... after getting home and getting distracted by the BS (because it’s the only way I’m able to fucking cope with this fucking thunderstorm in my head, atm)... I did at least get my exercise in. :I

First, today’s DD. 1′ basic burpees with EC. Manageable, despite under-sleeping. I also counted 20 completed reps by the end. Whew. :U

Second, Day 3 of the NC. “Strength“, meaning push-ups. Though I did think about going for 2′. I did 1′ (so Level 2). Which was a good call, since I was getting close to my PB & form got pretty messy. But I did count 42 of them in the time given.

Last, Day 3 of the PUP. Lower body work again - more distal stuff. I did have to drop down my left foot a few times during the leg swings because of fatigue making keeping balance real difficult. Probably also because I was too tired

Despite being too damn tired... I still stayed up till like 5AM with the same old BS. I’m a fucking mess. :/

-

June 5*

Been up since like 2PM. Meant to at least get up early enough to take my morning meds. Didn’t. So I didn’t take them at all! (Because I know you REALLY should try to keep that shit consistently spaced out... wild windows of hours is ill advised.)

Don’t have much to say about my day that I haven’t already.

Okay. I wound up doing all my exercise after midnight.

First, today’s DD. 20 matrix tilts with EC. Not a huge fave since it's pretty intense for the knees. But manageable.

Second, Day 4 of the NC. “Stealth“, meaning a wall-sit hold. This time I actually went for the 2′ duration, Level 3. It was fairly tough but very doable - given I’ve done this amount before. Also, watching Sanders Sides is a fantastic distraction from the burning quads. Pffft. :,D

Last, Day 4 of the PUP. Lower body work - but closer to the thighs/core. This was tough to get through. And I did have to pause for muscle recovering in tthe later half/quarter. The side leg raises didn’t stay very high - but oh well. Did the best I was able to do for the day.

Now. I sincerely doubt I’ll be going to the facility “tomorrow”. Since I wrote this bit past 3AM. =_=

-

June 6*

.I wound up staying up til like noon. Opting not to go to the facility today and sleeping til almost 6PM.

Same old noise after that. Wound up doing my exercise past midnight again, though*. :I

First, today’s DD. 60 turning kicks with EC. I always enjoy combat work. I tried to make sure to not let the foot drop until the side was done. Did wobble a few times but was able to keep it going. :D

Second, Day 5 of the NC. “Grit“, meaning up/down planks. I went for 1′ again and counted 16 reps in that time (counting each direction as one rep). This was certainly difficult, but I did pace myself and think to wear some long sleeves. JUst happy to not scrape up my elbows today. :P

Last, Day 5 of the PUP. Upperbody work. I did like that it involved knee push-ups. So that helped keep things just about manageable. That being said it was a bit of a hassle figuring out how to set it up so my knees weren’t unhappy and that I could check on the timer. Figured things out, but that did take some willpower to accomplish.

-

June 7

Been up since about 4PM.

Mostly been up to the same noise - but I did some dishes, made some dinner, and exercised.

First, today’s DD. 60 standing W-extensions with EC. I enjoyed this a lot. I also did a few extra in case I lost count. :D

Second, Day 6 of the NC. “Balance”, meaning one legged stand. I knew that I could pretty easily manage 2′ of this one In fact, I technically shot for 4′, 2′ for each side back-to-back.

Last, Day 6 of the PUP. Kind of mixed focus on squat and side elbow plank stuff. Did have a false start hours before going for it to completion. Mostly was frustrated with how I wanted to keep track of time while on the floor. But this whole thing was not a walk in the park. Second round of planks I did brace with top leg forward a bit.

-

June 8

Though I did get up a couple times earlier, I got up proper at like 6PM. Yeah.

First, today’s DD. 30 butterfly sit-ups with EC. This variation still requires some foot anchoring to do very many of. But nevertheless enjoyable! :D

Second, Day 7 of the NC. “Endurance“, meaning climbers. I went for 1′, Level 2. I counted 136 reps by the end. Did think about trying for 2′ again, but decided I wasn’t up for it.

(After getting way too damn distracted again...)

Last, Day 7 of the PUP. Lower body work. I’d say this was a more enjoyable sequence to get through and I didn’t have to drop/pause at any point. It wasn’t easy though!

(I may go add notation where I had to compromise, mostly for the data. :P )

-

June 9

Similar story as yesterday, except getting up after 3PM today.

Same old noise, but I did try to get my exercise done early on for the day.

First, today’s DD. 20 stacked push-ups with EC. Not much to say other than I found this one very manageable. :P

Second, Day 8 of the NC. “Core strength“, meaning hollow hold. First time I just had to tap out at Level 1 or 30″. I know my PBs can be upwards to a minute - I just didn’t feel up to straining my neck, because historically this exercise is pretty terrible for it.

Last, Day 8 of the PUP. Upper body work. I did very much enjoy this sequence, made my forearms burn (what with all the un/clenching of fists), as well as my shoulders. But it was a nice break on the former for the holds.

Tomorrow is The Day. So, after that, I took a shower and prepped some notes for the hearing before getting to bed. I also did try to get to sleep at a more reasonable time by my standards...

-

June 10

I didn’t get the most restful sleep last night. Getting up a few hours earlier due to muscle aches and stomach feeling all knotted up. :S

Ate a little bit and tried to get as much sleep as I could until 7:30.

Got dressed and was driven to court. The wait to get called in (with representative) was nerve-wracking. But the judge seemed to be warm enough and I didn't wind up having to cry-talk during our discussion. Probs won't know the ruling until a few months, I assume.

Feels like it's going to be a coin flip, tbh. But, I'm just happy to get it over with.

Got home and gamed awhile before exercising.

First, today’s DD. 40 raised leg circles with EC. This was doable despite exhaustion. But, the thing I've been stressing out over for the past several weeks is done. So that's something. :P

Second, Day 9 of the NC. “Combat“, meaning punches. Let’s just say I was looking forward to this after the hearing stuff. Something reliably enjoyable to keep my head from getting bleak again. Easily knocked out 2′ (Level 3), with 216 punches thrown. Tried to put a bit more of a twist into them. =w=

Last, Day 9 of the PUP. Lower body work. I also liked how this went. I did not do balanced side leg raises for the reps (keeping foot off floor, while down) but it didn’t seem to imply that interpretation. It certainly would’ve been harder than it already was, if so. But I did keep the holds up for their full durations. The balance work was super satisfying! :D

That did wake me up a bit more. I still wanted to take a nap... but wound up not doing so. Also wanted to get some notes together for my therapy appointment tomorrow. But ran out of time/energy for that,

But now, I need do a bit of archiving and try to get to bed.

[bnha-imagines-hcs]

Hey dude! You're making great stuff! Could I please have B, K, and W from the fluff prompt for Aizawa, Hizashi and Spinner? You know Aizawa and Hizashi are my darlings, but I've recently developed a fondness for the lizard boi.Thank you so much!

( the lizard boi… is kinda cute. but what is UP with his SWORDs!? | also i fucking love kamojis… JesUs ChrisT )

fluff alphabet;

| aizawa; headcanons.

BREATH     just exist… in his life… y ea h. tbh aizawa is just always A Huge Fan of u and the fact ur there in a nice way, so like??? yeethaw bby always a fan.

he a sucker for the whole boyfriend shirt thing, it’s just he doesn’t have a whole lotta clothes beside his professional look (dress shirt and slacks) and his actual working look (fuckin… pullover/overall/bodysuit thing lmfao wtf). you could,, ofc,,,,,, put on a huge frigging sweater - the kind commonly used as a dress - and like… thigh highs…. ehrem. (kitty pattern optional but super effective.) and just. hair down (or up) and just. and just.

                    be there.

also if u ever back him up or lead him in a fight, whether it’s frontline business or just you tryin ur best to evacuate a few peeps, well… that’ll do the trick. #synergy TM. he loves the fact ur partners, so anything that actively demonstrates/proves this is… multo bene.

honestly tho just breathe this hobo is a total softie and he so weak for love… so weak for love.

KISS    he actually adores kisses, yet doesn’t indulge often - as with most things that bring him simple pleasure & relaxation, shouta straight up forgets. just- forgets about it. 

it’s not small pecks and chaste things that he really adores - those are. kinda awkward, really. if it makes ya happy go for it, gestures, but. ehh. eh? eh.

long and involved kisses, that’s where it’s at.                                     hands messing w/ ur hair as he draws you close or draws in close himself or both or (we’re very big on equality here), able to drown in dark & warm comfort, feeling u and keeping u locked away in his little corner of the world until you’re ready to go. these happen in private, if aizawa can help it. it’s his prize for bein’ a martyr all the damn time (cough needlessly hard on himself cough), so the rest of the world can fuck off and just let him have this.

he doesn’t initiate ‘long and involved’ in public; don’t mistake this for a lack of interest! he’s just being decent (●´∀｀●)

WILD CARD     the only thing high-maintenance about shouta is the situational factors. he just wants to chill, have a home that is place & person, someone he can have intelligent conversation and comfortable silence with… just to share their lives without infringing on each other too much.he’s very… myeah. non-conventional? if you’re poly and he’s not, have fun with that it’s cool. if you’re busy a lot like him, that’s cool. if you wanna live separately, np. if you need to take time to yourself for a couple years, you do you.what he does demand is truthfulness. not that you don’t have secrets, but that you can just say ‘man i don’t wanna tell you’, rather than deceit. he’s a liiiiiiiittle sensitive about lies, even small ones.

2) also.. he loves to just read together. he doesn’t have a fireplace but if he did, it’d be readin’ by the fire.

| hizashi; headcanons.

BREATH     no offence but this man’s usually short of breath, what with the constant noice production. the things about life that leave him breathless are what drive him, what fuel him - it’s always somewhere on his mind.if he ain’t livin’ his best life, he about to.

so honestly? hmmm. he’s most often kinda in that state, but – ohhh yeah. big droopy sweater + thigh highs used as sleepwear or just. just. on his s/o… pls sit on his lap. pretty please? pleeeassseee… frick.movie night and it’s warm enough and u come out in that and sidle up to him and oh ooohhhh b o y . he’ll just curl an arm arnd you and light his hand upon ur arm, real gentle, not pouncing or w/e just - enjoying tf out of that.

KISS    mmmmmmmm, y e s. hizashi does not, in fact, believe in PDA - the term and general consensus suggests that displays of affection are somehow meant to be absent from day to day life, as though we ought hide our hearts and pretend to be cardboard.not exactly this guy’s thing.

where shouta will seek out privacy for a kiss with real feeling, hizashi– won’t. sure, if things get particularly heated he’ll suggest a break or a, hah, room (if others haven’t already). but as long as it’s warm loving mmmmm yes i love you mmmm hizashi feels there’s nothing improper about it and will give very few shits about commentary. you will end up in a bitchfight with him if u push it- kisses without wandering hands are not indecent, gdu, and any attempt to make he or his partner feel shame over it will be met with… vehement opposition.

alternatively if you are simply highly uncomfortable and respectful about it, ofc they can save it for when you’re not forced to be in the same room as them. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

     every kiss is a real kiss \o/. hizashi positively glows under the weight of lil pecks and ‘i’m leaving’ / ‘i’m back’ / ‘i’m gonna miss u already’ / etc cheek kisses. very fond of the ‘let’s kiss every lil bit of ur face’ style. subscribed to ‘oh? you think this part of u is undesirable? KISSSSSS’ series. proud author of ‘3 hours of body worship is an aperitif, my love’.

WILD CARD     swings and like, those old-school playgrounds for preteens - those are still the shit. hizashi loves lazing around on a swing, gently rocking back and forth while talking about everything or nothing. it’s easy, there’s literally no pressure whatsoever, it’s nostalgic.pushing each other on the swings?? chill as fuck. riding those errr those things w/ the big-ass springs underneath - also cool. oh my god riding those things err SHIT IDK WHAT IT’S CALLED ... ‘cable ways’ ..? The Shit.

just innocent play time pls. no stress & chill.

| spinner; headcanons.

BREATH.      pls. pls play games w/ him and go wild - that’ll do it. if you rock out playing racing / gta / etc games, he’ll love watching u go go go and just. hang back. needlessly awe-struck. it’s just nice to share smth he loves, smth non-serious without strain, and have the person he likes enjoy themselves with it.

KISS     well it’s scaly, we can’t deny that. ‘s not bad though, and that’s esp true if you’re more of a monster fucker than a coward. smooth, stumbly, and generally a lil awkward cuz he’s not at all used to ppl even ??? wanting ?? a lil smoochy smooch from him??? yeah.

eager, though. spinner’s got pretty normal dreams with yer picket fences and vidya games and maybe even a house that’s like inhabitable… yeah. a life where you can just reach out and touch and have it be affection rather than… disgust……… he’s always more affectionate than sexual - that’s more important to him, and his self-image is such that getting turned on doesn’t even really happen. and boy does he have an assortment of cute lil kisses as a result.

soft, careful pecks to test the waters even though you’ve responded well 50 times already - spinner’s someone who’ll ask for permission more often than not, wary of finding out something good has become something… not so good. it’s a hang-up he’ll not let go of soon. lingering ‘i can’t believe this is happening oh shit should i move? fuck am i-’ cheek kisses while he’s arched awkwardly to reach over the couch.sloppy ‘i can’t believe i’m this lucky but i’m too sleepy to question it’ morning / late night kisses.‘hey i was gone for a while and i can’t believe u still want me to kiss u!!! sc o rrrrrre and also oh god are u ALRIGHT.’ less restrained, embraces, face kisses, accidentally kissing ur eye. that happened.he has an excited ‘oh my god u made us hot chocolate’ kiss that stems from i’m living the fucking life finally ho god. 

he’s just. so happy. so happy to have someone he likes and likes him back, smn he can just be domestic with. sure he does crazy shit, but he loves to.. be homey. and lots and lots of little, tentative kisses at every opportunity.

also mini hand touches, but he’s still working on that.

WILD CARD     pls sit on his shoulders and let him scale rooftops like that. adrenaline junking together is The BeesKnees. u wanna get thrown?? the boi will throw u. u wanna cliff dive?? yeet let’s go. u wanna rollercoasterrrrrr rid es. s /? !? ?!? FUCK YES LE’S GO.

[obsessivedilettante]

Dramaland Forecast: January 2019

Previously: 2016 - 2017 - 2018

Waaahhh, it’s another year! I feel like I’ve been waiting for 2019 since, like, February, but somehow it still seemed to blindside me and I’m not ready to look ahead and make any goals or resolutions or, well, do much of anything (including watching dramas, haha).

Buuuuut I shall do my best to gather my thoughts on what this year promises us when it comes to dramaland.

Completed:

None. Again. I was even determined to try and finish up the last episodes of a couple of variety shows I’d started (NJTTW and Dancing High), but those are still sitting unwatched on my flash drive. It’s like I have a fear of completion or something. I’m determined to be better this year. 2019 is the year I actually finish dramas! Yeah!

Currently Watching:

Red Moon, Blue Sun aka Children of Nobody -- this drama is a wild ride, y’all, and you should be watching it if only to go “wtf” with me (I mean that in a good way, because the show is genuinely mysterious, and not in a “was this writer smoking crack” way -- although it might end up like the latter in a few weeks if things aren’t resolved to my satisfaction).

Miss Sherlock -- I got a couple more episodes in over the holidays when I was traveling. I’m only a few episodes from finishing the show, but apparently when I’m at home, I prefer to watch things on my laptop instead of my ipad. I need to work on that.

Dropping/skipping:

Groan. Everything, basically. I feel like 2019 is gonna be the year when I tackle my “on-hold” and “to watch” lists because there have been so many dramas in the past few years that I have genuinely wanted to watch (and finish!) but just never got around to it. I’m almost hoping the 2019 offerings are lackluster just so I can get caught up on a few things. But let’s see what’s on offer so far...

Upcoming dramas of interest:

Kingdom -- I think I’ll forever be mildly disgruntled about Netflix being one of the reasons that easy access to dramas is so fractured, but I’m hoping that their investment in this drama by one of my favorite writers will prove to be worthwhile.

Neighborhood Lawyer Jo Deul Ho Season 2 -- I’m interested in this, but I never got around to finishing the first season, so... yeah...

Liver or Die aka What’s Wrong, Poong Sang -- this looks like it could be cute! A wacky family drama with a pretty decent cast. I adore Lee Si Young, so I’m happy to see her in another drama.

The Crowned Clown aka The Man Who Became King -- this sounds like a Prisoner of Zenda type of story, which I always enjoy -- buuuuuuuut I always get a huge roadblock when it comes to historical dramas, even though they’re usually so pretty and lush. Will probably pass on a live-watch, but have a vague idea that I might one day watch it.

Spring Must Be Coming -- a body-swap starring Lee Yuri and Uhm Ji Won? Um, you’ve got my attention! My only concern is that I don’t know who the screenwriter is, so I don’t know what kind of direction this show might take, but the one teaser I’ve seen so far makes it look pretty cute.

Romance is a Supplement -- listen, I don’t hate rom-coms. I really don’t. I don’t hate Lee Jong Suk. I really don’t. But. For whatever reason, I instinctively go “nope” on this just because of that combination. Plus the writer has had some... questionable... takes on rom-com, and I don’t know if I have the patience to enjoy the cuteness and ignore whatever problematic stuff will crop up.

Touch Your Heart -- Lee Dong Wook and Yoo Inna, back together again! Tbh that’s all I really need to know, but the production team and supporting cast also make this sound pretty promising, even if the plot sounds very typical.

Haechi -- I’m happy Jung Il Woo is back, but my track record for historical dramas is truly pitiful, so l doubt I’ll watch this (especially because as much as I like Go Ara, I don’t think she’s a good fit for sageuks).

Big Issue -- this one vaguely interested me until I saw the production team, and now I’m convinced that this will likely start out pretty awesome but then turn into a confusing dumpster fire at the end.

Possessed -- a psychic and a detective solving crimes -- but without a priest? Hmm, seems suspicious. It’s OCN so it automatically has my attention, although I still want to know more. However, the cast filled with a lot of familiar supporting actors seems pretty promising, because if all those familiar ajusshis decided to add this project to their 2019 roster, then it must be at least decent.

Item -- this has an interesting premise and a really strong cast, and it’s probably the most compelling of the Jan/Feb premieres. But I’m still hesitant for reasons I can’t fully explain (or understand yet).

The Light In Your Eyes -- the ability to manipulate time sounds pretty cool, and Kim Hye Ja pretending to be a younger woman should be one heckava fun ride, but I just don’t understand the appeal of Nam Joo Hyuk in lead roles (in cute supportive roles, yes, but as a leading man? Um, no, thank you). This seems like those kind of dramas I might like in spite of the leads and would wish that it would focus more on the secondary characters.

Dear Citizens -- I’ve missed Siwon! And it sounds like this character leans on his skill as a comedic actor, so I’m tentatively excited, especially since it comes from the writer of Vampire Prosecutor 1 & 2, Bad Guys, Bad Guys: City of Evil, Police Unit 38, and Missing 9, it should also be a decent thriller/mystery, too.

Hot-blooded Priest -- lbr, the only hot-blooded priest I ever need in my life is Handsome Oppa, but apparently priests are practically de rigeur these days. I do think this could be a pretty good drama, just because I’m a fan of mysteries and police procedurals. I’d have more confidence if it were on OCN (although MBC has been impressing me lately).

Vagabond -- tbh this only caught my attention because it reunites Lee Seung Gi and Suzy. I know Gu Family Book was a hot mess, but I enjoyed it despite them being the least interesting thing in it. I don’t know that I’ll tune into their new drama, but it’ll probably get a lot of buzz and do well in the ratings just because of the cast.

Trap -- sounds like a very classic OCN drama with a strong cast. What more can a girl ask for?

When the Devil Calls Your Name -- Jung Kyung Ho making a deal with the devil, sign me up.

Legal High -- I’ve not watched any of the Japanese versions so I’m merely judging this for being a legal drama, but the fact that it’s an adaptation means there’s an extra hurdle to jump.

Aseudal Chronicles -- ...a fantasy? An actual, legit k-drama fantasy that isn’t set in the Joseon era or relying on common mythical stories?? A fantasy that is directed by one of my ultimate faves, Kim Won Suk (known for Misaeng, Signal, My Ajusshi)??? From the writers of Six Flying Dragons and Tree With Deep Roots???? Starring Song Joong Ki and Kim Ji Won???? WHAT IN THE BLESSED DRAMAVERSE HAS ALLOWED THIS TO BE??????? I don’t wanna jinx it but OMG I’m so excited and CAN’T WAIT for a premiere date to be set so I can start to count down the days.

There isn’t a lot so far that is really making me excited about the 2019 offerings yet (except for the obvious handful *cough*ASEUDAL CHRONICLES*cough*). It’s hard to make judgments about shows that are still even barely in the casting stage, and who knows what else will turn up on these forecasts over the year. But there really isn’t a January premiere that feels like a “must watch,” so maybe I’ll attempt to tackle that ginormous “to watch” list this month.

[mysweetkittae]

BTS LOVE YOURSELF TOUR: LONDON DAY 2 (10/10/18)

I recorded most of the concert so to see the videos please check my pinned thread on twitter (@bunkook20)

Let me just say right from the start that the UK LOVED Jin, and when I say that they loved him I mean that every SINGLE time he appeared on screen, whether in the MVs, the videos in between or just Jin himself, everyone LOST IT and screamed their lungs out to the high heavens. It was amazing.

I was in lower tier seating so I can’t say for sure since I wasn’t in standing myself, but every time I looked over everyone was being really respectful and no one was pushing (at least on my side) which made me really happy!

Also! All of the security and staff at the arena that I came across were really lovely too!

Maybe around 5 minutes before the concert was supposed to start an annoucement came from the translator that Jungkook wouldn’t be performing again because of his injury. He was apologising loads on their behalf but we were all like IT’S OKAY DON’T WORRY WE LOVE YOU!

A quick note on Jungkook: you could tell he wasn’t feeling well throughout the concert. He was very playful of course and was smiling and singing beautifully as always, but at times you could tell from his face that he was frustrated/upset at the situation which broke my heart because it’s not his fault :( He was also limping a bit when he walked, which shocked me because at that point we didn’t know that he had stitches on his heel and it made me really sad because I love him so much and the last thing I want is for him to be hurt and feel guilty about it :(( But, there was pretty much always a member with him and playing with him so thankfully baby bun was never too lonely! He definitely smiled the most and looked happiest when they were around him T-T

They went back to playing MVs after that, and played DNA, Mic Drop, and Fake Love. I think the concert started abut 10 mins late? 

THEN, my friends, the concert began with the beginning video and it was so pretty and magical.

Idol started playing next and I swear, as soon as the doors opened and they walked out I felt my body ascend to another plane and enter a state of pure bliss. For all these years I had only seen them through a screen, but now I was breathing the same air as them and looking at them with my own two eyes? Unfathomable. Also I could feel the heat of the fire from where I was sitting so I can’t even imagine how hot it must have been for them :/

Next was their opening ment and it was so surreal to hear them speaking and akdjakjfafa idk it was weird to expereince that but they sound so beautiful ;-; I kept saying hi back to them like the idiot I am lmao I couldn’t help it they were so adorable T-T Namjoon mentioned Jungkook’s injury and made sure to remind people to be mindful of their neighbours because he is the king of safety and we Respect that in this household.

They performed a bit of Save Me and all of I’m Fine but because I’m an absolute buffoon I forgot to press record so I’m really annoyed because I really love that song :( BUT at least I watched with my eyes and so I have the memory of it :’) It was an amazing performance and I loved it so much :(

They had their second ment here and then performed Magic Shop (one of my faves) which is just pure evil because how can they hit us with the feels so early on and expect us to be okay?? I was not fine. But it was so beautiful with all the purple lights and everyone singing together and it made me feel all warm and so happy :( You could really feel the love in the air

Just Dance was here but because I continued to be stupid I frickin forgot to press record again!!!! I’m super angry at myself. Hoseok though, his charisma and the way he entrances the crowd is insane! And his dancing!! omfg he is honest to god one of the best dancers I have seen in my entire life. He’s so mesmerising and you couldn’t take your eyes off him for even a second.

After this was Euphoria, which is one of my favourite songs ever because it makes me so happy and like everything is going to be okay. Jungkook has the most beautiful, soothing voice and I just can’t describe how hearing him made me feel. It made me feel like I was safe. He kept looking at the crowd with so much adoration and the most beautiful of smiles and he was listening to us singing along and it made me so happy because he looked so happy :(

I Need U was straight after and this made me !!! because this was the song that changed my life and made me an army so hearing it live made me totes emosh :(

Run was pretty hype and Joonie got us all jumping so it was really fun!

Serendipity!! Jimin has so much stage presence it’s crazy, it was truly a magical performance and it felt like we were all in a trance. He also kept putting his hand up his shirt to make it do the flappy doodle thing which was the epitome of rudeness :)) He is a beautiful dancer and you’d be a fool to deny it.

Love started and it was so much fun! He really knows how to work a crowd, everyone was singing and it was like we were all performing together aajfakfak I loved it. I also really liked Joonie’s jacket. idk if it’s clear in the video but at the end when the members were joining him on stage Jungkook was walking really slowly and that’s when I first saw that he was limping :(

DNA was amazing but all I could focus on was how sparkly Jimin was. I loved it. I love sparkly things. I’m like a magpie... or a niffler. ANyway, baby bun did as much of the choreo as he could in his chair and the members kept looking at him when they were singing at it was so cute huhu they love him so much he’s their precious baby.

They had another quick ment here before the medley of Dope, Go Go, Blood Sweat Tears, Boy In Luv and Fire. Jin and Jimin were playing with Jungkook so much it was the cutest thing and Jungkook had the biggest smile TT-TT

Airplane Pt2 was super fun but also kinda sensual and idk how to explain the feeling but it’s like there was something radiating from my chest throughout my body and I Felt It(TM) in my soul okay? 

FAKE LOVE!!! tbh I had forgotten that they might perform this lmao so it was a super pleasant surprise! I really love this song and the energy from them and the crowd was amazing. The video didn’t pick it up very well smh but the fanchants were so good! Especially for the WHY YOU SAD? IDK NAN MOLLA lmao it was like we were a cult summoning the devil it was Great. Also! At the end when jinkook are supposed to do their arm thing together Jungkook did it from his chair with Jin in the actual formation so they did it together but from a distance :(

Seesaw omfg I love this song so much and I was looking forward to it so much and it did not disappoint. It’s such a good song and such a good performance and he has such a pretty voice and I really really liked it ;-; Everyone went wild for when he slid down the bench it was so cool omg. The fanchants during the bit at the end could’ve been better but it definitely wasn’t bad and people were screaming loads! I would’ve done the fanchants better myself but my voice was hoarse from my cold before the concert even started and progressively got worse as it went on since I was screaming so much that by this point I was struggling to breathe and trying my best not to choke to death in the midde of the performance and have it be caught on camera because y’know, Priorities. 

SING.U.LA.RI.TY. Oh my goodness gracious me this performance was something else. The dance he does at the beginning with his hand was so sensual and mesmerising and I honestly couldn’t look away. It was so realistic as well, I obviously knew that there was no one there but it looked so real that if you told me that it was someone else’s hand I would’ve totally believed you. Also his hands are ridiculously beautiful. The first thing I noticed was how perfect Tae’s live was. Obviously they’re all amazing live and have been in all of the performances, as has Tae himself, but in this song it’s unlike anything I’ve heard before. It literally literally genuinely truly sounded EXACTLY like the studio version to an almost scary point. This man is an incredibe singer and if you can’t see or hear that god help your soul.  

Oh god Epiphany. This was the performance I think everyone was looking forward to, and you can clearly hear it with how loud everyone was screaming. Jin looked absolutely ethereal with his parted hair and beautiful face and beautiful voice and beautiful jacket. His voice has so much emotion that just pierces through your heart. This man has a true gift that is impossible to deny. Every was singing “I’m the one I should love” together and whether that was something we believed in or not, in that moment we all truly loved ourselves, and there’s nothing more beautiful than that. Listening to Jin sing Epiphany surrounded by the most beautiful lights... I felt at peace. I felt safe.

If Epiphany wasn’t emotional enough they went straight into The Truth Untold and I do not lie when I say that the emotions were tangible. Every single one of them looked angelic in their gorgeous outfits and their voices were like honey and I felt so light but my heart felt heavy at the same time? It was a very bizarre feeling. Everyone was singing along and it really was so beautiful. Jungkook’s adlibs at the end and Jimin’s change of the high note were incredible and if I didn’t have such a stone cold heart then I’m sure I would’ve cried like I thought I would. 

Listen. I had seen so many fancams so I KNEW that Outro Tear came immediately after The Truth Untold, but nothing could’ve prepared me for how insane that performance was. Not only for the whiplash it gave me since the previous 2 performances were so emotional, but the 3 of them are such phenomenal rappers and have so much control and power over the stage and audience that it’s almost terrifying. You couldn’t keep your eyes off them even if you tried. They each have their unique styles but the way they come together so perfectly and beautifully is unbelievable. I have no idea how they manage to show such individualty yet perfect synchronicity at the same time, but they do and it truly is a sight to see. They are a force to be reckoned with and I know for a fact that down the line they are going to have such important roles in shaping the music industry. Don’t ever doubt their abilities, not even for a second.

Next was Mic Drop, which Namjoon announced was the last song and I was like??? How??? It honestly only felt like it had been about half an hour but it had been 2 hours. Jungkook didn’t come out for this performance, not even sitting on a chair, so the whole time in the back of my mind I was really worried about him. This is only speculation of course so don’t take it as the truth or anything, but he really must not have been feeling well for him not to even be able to sit on a chair. Either he was in loads of pain or he fainted or something?? idk, I just hope it wasn’t too bad :( They just played the backing track for his parts with the members sometimes singing over it too. The performance itself was amazing though! They had so much energy and the dance break was the bomb dot com.

After this the main part of the concert had officially ended and the girls next to me were asking each other if it was over so I was like no no don’t worry there’s an encore they’re coming back! Don’t leave yet!

After some time it was ARMY TIME so everyone held up their banners and it was so nice! So What had started, which I was surprised about because I thought that they’d want us to hold the banners up during a slower, more emotional song but nope. So What was the hypest song out of the entire concert and everyone was jumping so much and it was just so so so much fun?? 

Jungkook was back for this performance but it was very obvious that he wasn’t doing well. He was singing fine and trying to be playful but you could see in his eyes and his face that he wasn’t okay, which is why I feel like he might have felt faint before or something, though I’m still just speculating so don’t hold it again me. Jin stayed by his side for basically the whole time and walked slowly with him down the ramp to the extended stage and!! You guys, when Jungkook did the shoot dance, although it was very slow he looked so so happy, it made my heart melt :( I’m glad he was able to do it because honestly that was one of the times he smiled the biggest :( Jin did it together with him and it was so sweet and I’m just so glad they all have each other to look out for them. Taejin had their Moment again it was fantastic. There was lots of cuteness throughout the whole thing and they looked like they were having so much fun! It made me very happy.

Anpanman was super fun and very enjoyable! It really is such a cute song uwu it made me smile a lot :’) Jungkook was looking at the audience a lot for this one and doing as much of the dance as possible in his chair what a cutie pie and Joonie and Jimin played with him too and he kept laughing uwu uwu this song was too much for me.

Then it was time for their ending ment. They started off with such a sweet event for us :( They made the army bombs turn rainbow coloured and took a picture with the arena in the background and it was so lovely :( Also lmao Hobi said it was photo time with an American accent, but Joon corrected him saying that is was “phoTo” with the enunciated ‘T’ sound like you say with an English accent if that makes sense?? It was really funny and after that Hobi kept saying photo with the harsh T and it was adorable. Joon then went on to say that Yoongles was going to do his ment first but he kept saying “sweetie sweetie sweetie suga” in an English accent again and alfjfkjfna I love him ma

Yoongs had his bling bling SUGA rings on and they were so sparkly! He was so smiley and just super cute. He repeatedly talked about how they were going to see us again soon so I’m certain that they’re coming back next year with either an epilogue tour or something so Wembley you better be prepared because next time we’re coming for you.

Hobster spoke in English and it was so good and it never fails to amaze me how hard he tries for all of his comments in all of the concerts. He was totes making fun of us though, when we said aww because he was sad it was the last concert day he said aww back and I felt the mockery but he’s so flippin adorable I don’t understand how can one human being possibly have so much power to make so many people happy it doesn’t make sense I don’t understand.

Tae. Eyebrows. Rude. He was being super cute talking about how he had seen London in movies (none that I knew of because he is evidently much more cultured than I am) and that he thought it was such a beautiful place and that armys were beautiful too (what a flirt). He then went on to saying some word but honest to god I hadn’t the faintest clue what he was saying and neither did my friend or anyone else around me and in the video you can hear a very faint “what?” because I was just so confused lmao. Apparently he said bloodclat? but I’m not from London so I have no idea what that means and I’m still no wiser. Twas a very confuzzling time.

Jin. Jinnie. Kim Seokjin. My man. My bro. Dude. Please stop looking so handsome, it hurts me. He was talking about how he looked like Kingsman and that next time he’ll dress up like Harry Potter. I’m holding that promise to you Jin, don’t let me down. At that point Namjoon said “shut up Malfoy” like he did in that one vlive last year(?) and it was so funny I couldn’t stop laughing why must they be so adorable?? 

Jimin was next and he kept saying that everything was lovely again and again and it was so sweet and oh my god he is literally the cutest thing ever I love him so much he is such a precious person please protect him 5eva. He also said that he wanted to come back so Jimbles! I’m holding that promise to you too don’t let me down.

Baby bun was next and he was apologising for not being able to show us more but we all just screamed NOOOOOOO really loudly because we love our precious baby in this household and he must never apologise for something that was out of his control :( Even though he was injured he still gave it his all and did his best and his health and happiness is more important than anything else!! We don’t need to see him perform, we just need him to be healthy.

Nimnams was next and my god he was so radiant. At first he tried doing an English accent but he quickly gave up on it lmao what a cutie pie I love him. He said that he fell in love with London and that it really inspired him and that he might write a song called London and we all just went !!! Because with Jungkook being injured in London it would’ve been understandable for them to associate the UK with negative feelings because that’s just how human brains work, but the fact that they seemed to have loved it so much and were inspired by it and want to write a song about it? It just made me feel so proud. I hope that when they come back they get the chance to travel around a bit because there is so much to see and it has such a different vibe to London and I’m sure they’d love it! He said how he was proud of himself for chosing this path in life and becoming a part of BTS and therefore being able to come to London :( This boy completely owns my heart and I would do anything for him :(

After this was the last song, Love Yourself Answer, but I didn’t have much space left on my phone so I couldn’t record it :( It was so lovely though and as one of my favourite songs it made my heart all wibbly wobbly :( Tae was on my side a lot and was beng super duper cute and it was the best. Jungkook’s seat was still in the middle so the members were playing with him lots and being all round cutie pies. Everyone was singing “you’ve shown me I have reasons I should love myself” and it was so beautiful to hear people saying that to themselves and actually believing it in that moment. This was another song that made my heart happy and made me feel very peaceful and like everything was okay in the world.

Then it was the ending and they were walking around the extended stage and waving to us all. Jimin kept saying that we were lovely and Tae said I purple you and urgh it was just so incredible and magical. They thanked their dancers and bowed with them and we all screamed for them too! There was loads of confetti and it was so so so beautiful. 

It ended then, and I remember suddenly feeling so empty. The past 2 and a half hours had without a doubt been the best of my life and the fact that I has seen bts live with my own eyes and been in the same place as them was still hard to comprehend.

One thing I can say for sure though is that they truly love performing on stage. They must have been so exhausted with how crazy their schedules have been, but they were constantly smiling and had high energy and put on the best performance that they could. Never once did I feel like they were being forced to do something they didn’t want to do, not like I sometimes feel with some other singers. No words can fully express how genuinely happy they looked to be on stage, and that in itself makes me so happy. Knowing that they are doing something that they love so much and are so passionate about is incredible and I hope that they are able to do the things they want to do for a long time. Anyone watching them can feel the amount of love they have for the stage, each other, and us.

And that’s the thing - people can try and dissect them and figure out what the ‘bts formula’ is as much as they want, but they will never find the answer; because you cannot formulate love, and you cannot formulate authenticity. Every moment since the creation of the universe led them to where they are today. It led them to each other, the most beautiful of soulmates, and it led us to them, our guardian angels who came into our lives when we needed them the most. Everything that has happened in our lives, both the good and the bad, led us to the moment where we discovered bangtan, and something in us told us that this was where we belonged. We all come from so many different walks of life, so many different journeys and destinations, yet here we all are, coming together because of these 7 beautiful boys with even more beautiful hearts, and intertwining our lives with one another. Despite all odds, we survived, and we’re living this life together; and that is nothing short of a miracle.