#I’m already revising other stuff. Prequels would be too much work

[corellianhounds]

Amidala the Resilient

Media: Revenge of the Sith

Rating: T

Word Count: 3,942

Warnings: Canon-typical violence, pregnancy, Force-choking, blood and injuries, traumatic labor and delivery, death in childbirth, no happy ending.

Art Credit: Iain McCaig, The Art of Star Wars, Episode III: Revenge of the Sith

Summary: In a universe where Anakin gradually descended into the Dark side of his own volition from the beginning— where his ambition and love were genuine and admirable, but the temptation of power too much— his turn is something much more destructive and purposeful. Amidala’s plan for retaliation is just as much so.

Padmé Amidala can feel tension twinging in her back and thighs. The pit in her stomach has coalesced into a tight knot as she steels herself for what she must do, bringing a mattock and salt to the ground where pruning shears should have been used long ago.

Anakin had been too far gone for a long time, and the fault lay in her and everyone in his life willingly turning a blind eye too often to his myriad of faults. In the past two hours she has seen actions the result of which came from an upbringing where his temper, jealousy, and ambition were allowed to slide because those who thought him destined for some great cosmic good were willing to overlook occasional— and often objectively justified— acts of wrath and ruthlessness. He had always been so good at justifying his reasons and putting his actions in a more favorable light, showing enough willingness for correction over the years people thought he was receptive to guidance and change.

What she’d come to realize with dawning horror was that the seeds of destruction had been sown long ago, and though the vines had borne occasional good fruit, they had always grown with selfish intent, inevitably choking out everything around them in an effort to keep his own desires hidden behind the barrier of thorns.

In the next hour, she will come face to face with the monster of a man he’s become.

The Jedi master doesn’t know. Kenobi knows she has some plan but wrongfully assumes it is to appeal to whatever mistaken shred of humanity might remain in Anakin. Obi-Wan— even now, even after what they saw— cares for him as a brother and would sooner cut off his own hand than see Anakin completely lost to the Dark. Padmé however has finally seen clarity of purpose.

For Anakin to be stopped, he must be killed.

The ship arrives on Mustafar. Padmé wrenches herself away from the viewport as Obi-Wan lands and she gingerly lowers herself to the cargo hold, donning a cloak. Obi-Wan hurriedly finishes the landing cycle, calling her name as she gathers her strength, but she’s hardly listening to him at this point and she knows she must conceal herself from him so he has no chance of stopping her.

A hand on her shoulder makes her flinch, and the Jedi lets go almost in surprise. “Padmé, you don’t have to do this. I will talk to him.”

“No,” she says, keeping her left hand secured across her waist beneath the voluminous sleeve as she cleared a path to the lowering gangway. “He’s made it very clear he’s past the point of reasoning with the Jedi. I will speak with him, and if I cannot convince him to come with us calmly, or I cannot ascertain his next move, I expect you to do what’s necessary to end this treasonous rebellion. That is an order.”

It was all false diplomacy, of course, for his sake. Padmé had no intention of believing Anakin was anywhere close to the realm of negotiation. They were far past that.

But she needed assurance that she could get close enough to Anakin to act decisively. She couldn’t have Kenobi interfering, not at this juncture.

Oppressive heat surrounded her as she swept down the ramp to the barren ground. Magma roiled and churned, flames flickering at the edge of the peninsula as Padmé approached the figure so cloaked in darkness an aura of blackened energy almost seemed to emanate from his form. The grip of the hidden dagger dug into her hand, grounding her as she approached.

Padmé’s eyes burned with a ferocity to match her husband’s. It was time for this to end.

When Obi-Wan had seen her determination in the hold of the ship he had never for a moment anticipated what it would lead to.

Padmé steadily approached Anakin, cloak and hood protecting her from the blaze. He could see her speaking forcefully with him, her face hidden from view but Anakin’s darkening by the moment in response. His right hand, devoid of glove, clenched the hilt of an already ignited saber, the bloodshine blade standing in stark contrast to his own cloak. Its presence alone was alarming, but Obi-Wan had been subject to so many tragedies that night already, he merely assumed Anakin had readied it in the expectation of facing his master.

What Obi-Wan hadn’t known was what Padmé concealed until she tried to close the distance between them, her own blade in hand. What followed happened in the span of a heartbeat.

Anakin’s saber blocked it on instinct, easily halting the approach of Padmé’s dagger, his eyes widening in surprise. In the following moment his left hand raised and with it, so did Padmé.

Obi-Wan’s astonishment lasted only a fraction of a second as he yelled “NO!” Padmé’s feet left the ground as an invisible force clutched her neck in a crushing, intangible grip, and in the breadth of time Padmé scrabbled at her throat, Obi-Wan acted.

Anakin stumbled back from the force of the bolt hitting his shoulder, releasing his hold on Padmé. Padmé crumpled to the ground in a heap, and Anakin’s sights zeroed in on Kenobi, standing at the mouth of the ship with both blaster and lightsaber in hand. Snarling, Anakin stalked towards his old master and brought his lightsaber down, red clashing against blue.

Padmé Amidala, heartbroken and dying, drags herself bleeding to the communication console.

Kenobi can hear her movement in the bay and yells her name, telling her not to move, that he’ll come to help her as soon as the ship breaches the atmosphere, and she stalwartly ignores him, cradling the underside of her belly with one hand and using the other to support herself on the railing around the sparse artillery deck. Her broken ankle protests at every movement, sending lightning arcing up the leg where she puts her unsteady weight. The cramps in her abdomen spread like bone-coral, sharp and hot and agonizing in her pelvis, sides, back— Every tendon and muscle in her body screams at their owner to relent, to succumb to the creeping darkness pressing around her vision, but she cannot allow herself peace until she finishes what she started.

Padmé staggers at the ship’s turbulent acceleration, her forearm slamming out against the bulkhead as the lights flicker, and she curses the unsteady pilot she thought was her friend. Perhaps if she’d been accompanied by someone more decisive, someone whose fatal flaw wasn’t a love too great for a brother that no longer existed, Anakin would have been dealt with and she’d have the wherewithal to fight against the added pain of a labor she was sure would tear her in two.

Sweat pours from her brow and forces her already shaking, slippery hands to scrabble for purchase on the blasted polished finery of a spoiled noble’s ship. Her muscles spasm and she gasps in abject terror as she feels something inside her snap; the membrane within her had ruptured.

Gravity pulls on her bones as her muscles betray her, and she collapses against the bench. Fingernails scrape vinyl and she chokes out a guttural, rending cry of pain in the effort it takes to haul herself upward into the seat.

Obi-Wan is yelling again. Traitorous coward.

Padmé punches in the covert frequency on the transmitter. Her other hand rests on her stomach, her infants moving restlessly under her touch. She forces the hot flashes of pain back, shoving down every instinctive response to curl in on herself.

“Sabé—,” she says into the comm, gritting her teeth and tasting blood once more; the contractions were stronger and with a strangled grunt she yanks the comm closer, ignoring the frantic waves of worry rolling off of the useless Jedi in the pilot’s seat.

“Sabé, if you find the man who was my husband,” she chokes, the creeping black at the edges of her vision beginning to overtake her.

“Kill him.”

Obi-Wan sat listlessly on a bench in the hold, what bloodied clothing he still wore sticking to him like a second skin. His hand rested on the makeshift bassinet, a gun locker repurposed into a cradle.

He could only imagine what directive she’d felt necessary enough to strain herself to get across the sublight waves; he could only imagine because the message was encrypted and the recipient unknown, and her mind had been shielded from his probing. He didn’t know whether to blame his failed use of the Force on the heartbroken, distracted nature of his psyche being pulled in a thousand directions as he’d manually flown from Mustafar’s orbital pull in order to make the jump to lightspeed, or to blame some unknown energy stalwartly blocking him from Padmé’s mind. Reaching out to her had felt like hitting a steel wall.

The tumult of their departure had preoccupied him until he was sure he’d escaped whatever enemy fighters Anakin’s new master had sent after them, the maneuvering less of a dogfight and more of a half-cocked evasive prayer for the hull to remain intact long enough for them to break atmo. Klaxons blared and the astronav’s interface barked orders, warning him of too many systems he already knew were damaged enough that if they took even one more hit to the hull they would be obliterated; shields were failing, exterior panelling being shorn off, the pursuing fighters gaining on them— Until by some stroke of luck he’d found a slip in space to pull through and immediately jump to lightspeed.

Lightspeed jumps themselves were already hazardous to expecting parents’ health. He was terrified of the condition she had been in when he’d finally gotten her onboard, and the fact he could sense her moving with purpose somewhere below decks while he tried to shake the fighters had sent his heart rate skyrocketing.

Piloting had never been his forte. As soon as they’d hit hyperspace he’d slammed a hand against the autopilot controls and bolted from the dash, scrambling down to the hold below.

He swore under his breath, calling her name and skidding to a halt beside her. Her face twisted in agony, her hands clutching the underside of her abdomen. Obi-Wan knelt beside her, hesitant to move her and instead ran a quick check over her vitals, astonished at what he found.

Broken bones in her leg, fractured ribs, internal bleeding, damaged trachea— how had she even moved?! By all rights she should be dead and yet something had propped her up long enough for her to drag herself to the terminal and send a message.

And now she was in labor.

“Kenobi—” she spat derisively, grabbing his tunic. “Get— up—”

“Padmé, hold still, let me—”

He was cut off as a violent shudder wracked her body, her limbs curling in on herself with a gurgling cry. Panicked desperation lanced through him as he reached out and grasped tendrils of the Force, gingerly cradling her neck and attempting to delicately, swiftly mend ligaments he couldn’t see. If he was even a millimeter incorrect, she would die.

A misaligned vertebrae shifted back into place, and Padmé screamed.

Obi-Wan bit back a sob, carefully tracing his fingers on either side of the back of her neck with as much force as he dared in an attempt to still her and provide what pain relief he could as his own energy was leached from him. Padmé gasped, her eyes flying open, her expression stricken as she looked up at the ceiling. Her iron grip loosened as the tension dissipated, if only in one area. She gulped air as if coming up from the bottom of a lake, and Obi-Wan settled as he felt his strength wane. A concrete task was better than guesswork at unknown variables.

The reprieve didn’t last long; Padmé grunted in pain, convulsing as a contraction rippled through her torso again. Further assessment revealed her leggings and the floor beneath her to be drenched, and Obi-Wan’s panic flared again.

“I have to get you up—”

“If you move me I will kill you,” she spat harshly. She trembled despite the ferocity of her glare, her hand still twisted in his robe. “There is no time— Here and now, Kenobi. Make do.”

“Padmé—”

“Look around you,” she seethed. “There’s no level surface in this blasted ship big enough to work. There are no other choices. There is no one else to help. Sleeves up. Now.”

Kenobi’s brow remained twisted as he stripped off his outer tunic, knowing it was laden with silicate and volcanic dust. Padmé propped herself up on her elbows as he raced to scour his hands and forearms, coming back to remove her boots so he could work her outer garments free. Whether the blood seeping between her teeth was due to the injuries she’d sustained or because she was gritting them hard enough one had cracked, he didn’t know.

Padmé gasped again as the fracture in her shin shifted— He wanted to settle her, to fix this, but the contractions were coming more quickly and closer together. They were running out of time.

He finally seated himself before her, kneeling and shaking in just his undershirt and trousers, feeling acutely unprepared for what was to come. Battlefield triage and casualty care were the extent of his healing knowledge, and though he was adept at relieving or numbing acute nociceptive responses, it was usually with soldiers whose minds were open for him to assess areas of injury. A commander with a blaster burn would be focused on the point where his plastoid hadn’t covered. A civilian’s attention after suffering a fall would be turned to the joints and bones that took the brunt of the effects of gravity.

Labor and delivery were far too different from his experience in the medical field.

And Padmé was still blocking him out.

Her knuckles gripped bone-white to a ridge of floor plating, one knee bent and her foot planted flat. The other lay weakly to the side, and Obi-Wan grit his teeth as he raised it up to rest over his thigh despite the lancing pain he felt radiating from her, tucking a blanket beneath her and readying his hands for whatever instruction he prayed she could give. With him gathering his wits and her gathering her strength, they set to work.

The whole ordeal couldn’t have lasted longer than ten minutes, and it was the longest and most arduous process of their lives. Between her strangled cries, his intuition, and the muscle spasms that told him everything about this was wrong, Kenobi’s concern grew with the pool of blood beneath her, and she forced him to focus on the children, refusing to allow him any modicum of time spent healing her injuries between her screams. Untended bone cracked further as she thrashed, her screams echoing back in the cargo hold.

By the time Kenobi had swaddled the two squalling— living!— infants in what sterile dressing he could find from the field kit, Padmé had gone a sickly pale. Her skin was waxy under the recessed halogen lighting, her hair sticking to her forehead. Dark circles rimmed her eyes and different muscle groups continued twitching of their own accord as if sparked by electricity. Obi-Wan was torn between ensuring the infants had been properly cared for, and wanting to drag Padmé to the captain’s berth to fully assess her wounds and heal her: Padmé kept stubbornly shoving him away, tears tracking unnoticed down her face as she continued to choke out instructions for the care and keeping of her children.

He’d finally been forced to stop when that iron grip returned in full force— Padmé grabbed his arm and yanked him down to where she had propped herself up against the wall. Kenobi lurched forward, her ashen face now level with his. She forced her voice to obey despite the strain in her throat, rasping the words she needed to say.

“Keep them away from him.” The venom in her tone was undeniable. “You keep them safe, Kenobi, get— get them as far away as you can—”

Kenobi grunted, refusing to let her continue her orders. He pressed a palm to her chest, willing those wisps of energy to sustain her just a few moments longer as he tried to haul her up into his lap, coax her arm around him so he could lift her— If he could just get her somewhere comfortable, somewhere clean, if he could focus—

Padmé shrieked in pain, clawing at his chest and arms, and the sum of their separate fights came crashing down on him as the Force dissipated from his mind’s grasp. His knees gave out, his strength sapped from the energy he had poured into her, and they lay heavily back against the terminal yet again. The children cried distantly behind them.

“Padmé, please…” Obi-Wan pleaded, tears streaking down his face, but she shook her head yet again.

“Keep them safe,” she coughed, begging for the first time. “Get them away f-from—”

“He’s gone, Padmé, Anakin is gone—”

She shook her head fiercely, squeezing her eyes shut. “No. He’s there. I can feel him.”

“Listen to me— Anakin is dead, I saw him—”

“You’re wrong,” Padmé said. Her breath rattled. Tears dripped from her chin. “If— If you won’t k-kill him then t-take care o-of them. Wh-Whatever it takes.”

Her chest hitched as she gasped around the liquid filling her lungs. Her bloody hand trembled against his neck. She hiccuped, her eyes went glassy, and her hand fell away.

And in the stillness of hyperspace, Padmé Amidala Naberrie passed from one life to the next.

It had been an hour since then. Only an hour since Obi-Wan had had to keep himself from buckling under the weight of his grief, an hour since he’d sobbed on the floor of a ship as one of his oldest and dearest friends died in his arms. The former queen of Naboo, dying in the bloody cargo hold of a stolen ship, her own life stolen from her by the one person the two of them had trusted beyond measure while her infant children cried out for comfort he felt wholly incapable of providing. Obi-Wan wept alongside them, digging his fingers into the cold, unfeeling floor, wanting to scream as the agony of heartbreak threatened to overwhelm him.

So many dead, or lost. There was no solace even in the Force.

But as Obi-Wan Kenobi found himself doing so often in his life, he shoved his feelings down into the furthest recesses of his broken heart, let go of another loved one returned to the Force, and turned himself back to the task at hand.

The infants were asleep now. He’d shakily scrubbed at his face and arms with cold water and spared only enough time under the sanisteam to ensure he was clean enough to handle them before finding a spare undershirt for himself. He fed them, cleaned them up, and held both of them together against his chest as they squirmed, dissatisfied at their situation before accepting their present accommodations and falling asleep. By the ship’s chrono he had roughly two standard hours before the ship was due to drop out of hyperspace.

He sat unseeing in the captain’s berth with the ad hoc bassinet nearby. Padmé was still in the hold; he couldn’t be two places at once, and he couldn’t stay down there with the children.

Something bothered him about the infants in his arms, though. Once the girl had passed from Padmé’s body, it almost seemed like the barrier keeping him from sensing Padmé’s thoughts had broken. He was too drained and scattered to dwell on it as his last moments with her had been focused on her well-being, but despite his utter exhaustion he had a suspicion that had already begun to crystallize under the sheer openness of the twins’ young presences within hyperspace.

It troubled him.

Whatever message she’d sent was evidently received by the people she’d needed it to. Bail Organa met him at the hastily assembled but covert rendezvous, his ensuing shock and horror upon entering the ship’s docking ramp turning to commanding resolve as he followed the trail of destruction to Kenobi’s station. Organa had to shake him from his stupor before Obi-Wan could tell him of Mustafar, of the newly appointed Sith and Padmé’s scheme, and of Padmé’s last words. The senator’s brow furrowed. He knelt next to the Jedi, looking over the sleeping children.

“What of Anakin?”

Obi-Wan shook his head tiredly. “I cannot sense him. I don’t believe Anakin is alive.”

“… Who else did she contact?” Bail asked.

Tears dripped onto Obi-Wan’s shirt. “I don’t know.”

Bail sighed, bringing one hand up to rest on his shoulder. “I am truly sorry, Obi-Wan. For everything.”

Obi-Wan couldn’t respond.

Bail’s team, handpicked and vetted by the senator himself, worked below decks as the men weighed their options. The aftermath of the despotic coup was rippling out and changing by the minute; the Jedi had been slaughtered and scattered, the clones had broken all communication, and the Senate had reached a fever pitch of chaos. Anything that needed to be done had to be done now.

The feeling of loss that bordered on consuming him was one he’d rarely felt in his lifetime as acutely as he did now. The comfort he found in the Force was absent. He’d felt like a ship unmoored when his master was killed. Now it was as though he’d been dropped into the middle of a hurricane.

Bail’s hands were clasped loosely together against his forehead, elbows resting on his knees as he bowed his head in thought. Kenobi could have been a corpse for how still and gaunt he was.

“Obi-Wan…” Bail began. “Are you certain Skywalker is dead?”

“Yes,” Obi-Wan said. “I cannot sense him at all.”

Bail was quiet for a moment before he spoke again. “… But you, of all people, couldn’t sense what must have been growing within him. Is it at all possible the body of Anakin remains, but the reason you cannot find him is because the man we knew is entirely lost to the Dark?”

A chilling fissure of clarity cut through Obi-Wan’s senses. His reaction told Bail everything he needed to know.

Even if it was only a suspicion, they could not afford to waste time figuring out the emperor’s next move. Anything that could be used to motivate Vader had to be hidden from public knowledge. They couldn’t leave a trace of his past behind.

Bail mulled over his thoughts, then stood, gesturing for Kenobi as his resolve hardened to steel. “Come. We have work to do. We will mourn when we are done.”

Sabé trembled with the effort it took to control her breathing. She stowed her bag behind the seat of the starship and brought the engine to life, moving with purpose as tears streamed unbidden down her face.

The ship rose, coordinates locked in place to meet the others of her gathering retinue. These weren’t the orders of former nobility, of a governing senator— This was the last request of a dying friend, someone whose very existence was woven into her bones. Padmé Amidala’s death would not be in vain.

Sabé looked out beyond the stars, her breathing finding stasis despite the ocean of grief beneath it.

“My hands are yours, Padmé,” she said to herself. “For as long duty compels them.”

She wasn’t going to kill Anakin. Not until he felt every bit of the pain and suffering he deserved.

Notes:

The line “clarity of purpose” comes from Saw Gerrera in the Andor TV show

I wrote Sabé’s line before seeing that one similar was used in one of the books. Good to know I was on the right track with a character I know very little about lol

[raibebe]

Sugar and Spice

Genre: Fluff? Words: 4.390 Warnings: none for this chapter

Chapters: | 1 | 2 | 3 | masterlist

A/N: Sugar and Spice is a series now, I know you all probably wanted more smut but I chose to write a prequel about how Jeno ended up being a sugar baby in the first place.  Since this is going to be a longer story, I wanted to try to do it in chapters instead of writing one giant thing. Later on I will switch the POV but I felt like it was needed to start off with Jeno’s.  Do not worry, there will be smut in later chapters.

Taglist: @yutaalove​, @byunniebaekhyunnie​

Like all the bad decisions Lee Jeno had made in his life, this one started with none other than Lee Donghyuck. The two boys were sitting in the university’s cafeteria where Donghyuck watched Jeno eat the food they had served with a disgusted look on his face. “I don’t understand how you can even swallow that.” “It’s either this or instant ramen again and I am pretty sure my body consists of 60% ramen already,” Jeno whined, trying to wash down what must be the most dry piece of meat he had ever tasted his entire life with some water. “Dude you work like three jobs,” Donghyuck groaned, kicking his friend beneath the table. “Got fired from the library because they caught me sleeping,” Jeno sighed deeply. “You look like you’re ready to pass out right now.” “Hyuck, I am functioning on three hours of sleep and two redbull.” “Jeno,” Donghyuck sighed and Jeno hated it when he used that tone of voice. He didn’t need Donghyuck’s pity. He could do this. He was fine. Well mostly. Apart from the fact that he got an average amount of four hours of sleep, was barely passing his classes and got fired by one of his many part time jobs every few months his life was absolutely peachy. “I’m sure if you talk to your parents again-“ “No,” he cut Donghyuck off, “I won’t come begging at their door. I chose this path for myself and they simply don’t agree Hyuck.” “Your parents suck ass,” his friend sighed, leaning back in his chair, “Pretty sure my parents would throw a party each day for a week straight if I had told them I wanted to become a vet.” “Well mine aren’t,” Jeno sighed and raked a hand through his messy hair. It was getting too long again, his bangs hanging into his eyes. Could he ask Renjun to cut it again? Did he trust the furious Chinese man with something sharp that close to his eyes?

For a while it was quiet between the two friends while Jeno continued to stuff his face with the cafeteria food. He didn’t have much time before he had to go to his shift at a little record store not far from his dorm building. It wasn’t paying the best but the owner of the shop and no issues with him doing his readings there when no customers were around. “You know that we miss you, Jeno. Right?” Donghyuck cut the silence which made Jeno stop mid bite, “We haven’t done anything with all the boys in forever and I am not counting the times we were at the club while you were working and declining the tips we were trying to give you.” “I don’t need nor want your pity money, Hyuck,” Jeno groaned again and shoved the plate with his food away. His appetite had left him. Donghyuck and him had this conversation every other week always with the same outcome: Donghyuck explaining how he was worried about him and Jeno telling him that he was fine (which he most likely wasn’t but he managed). “I’m sorry I haven’t been able to make it to our meets ups, I really am,” Jeno tried to explain and Donghyuck’s eyes immediately went soft, “I just- I’m behind on my tuition again and haven’t paid the lease for the dorms for the last moth yet. I really need to take every minute and hour of overtime I can get and my grades aren’t getting any better either. This will all be for nothing if I fail my anatomy class again.” “Jeno,” Donghyuck tried again, “You can’t keep on like this for another three years.” “I have to Hyuck,” Jeno sighed, slouching back into his chair, “I have to.” His body had been screaming at him to stop whatever he was doing for weeks now and to be completely honest, he was aching for a full eight hours of sleep and not the usual four that were just disconnected naps throughout his day.

“I’m going to make a suggestion and I need you to promise me to not be mad at me, alright,” Donghyuck suddenly said, holding out his pinky finger. “Hyuck, I won’t take money from any of you. I don’t want Chenle to pay for my lease again. That was a one-time thing and I told him that I would pay him back,” Jeno immediately argued, shame running through him. He hated constantly being treated to meals and the thought that he had a debt with his younger friend even though the Chinese had told Jeno hundreds of times that he didn’t need to money back. “That’s not what I wanted to suggest. Now promise.” Jeno rolled his eyes before interlocking his pinky with one of his arguably best friends. “Actually this isn’t my idea. But Jaemin and Renjun brought it up last Friday at our movie night.” That alone made Jeno feel bad again. While his friends had been all cuddled up in Chenle’s apartment to watch some movies and eat popcorn while drinking cheap beer, he had been working in a sweaty club with horrible music that made his ears ring. “I’m sorry,” he muttered under his breath but Donghyuck didn’t seem to hear him. “But hear me out: Have you ever thought about becoming a sugar baby?” Jeno lost all control over his facial muscles and was pretty sure his brain had just short circuited, his open mouth free real estate for the fruit flies that were all over the cafeteria. “No, no, think about it Jeno,” Donghyuck immediately argued, “I did my research and you can get a monthly allowance for at least a thousand dollar if not more. You’d be able to quit that job at the shady bar.” “Hyuck,” Jeno cut in when his brain had successfully rebooted, “In case you haven’t noticed in all the years we’ve been friends: I’m not gay.” “So what?” “What do you mean so what? I’m not going to prostitute myself for some old man just because I need money,” Jeno hissed between his teeth. “Oh my god Jeno,” Donghyuck sighed, “You’re so 2010. There are plenty of wealthy woman out there looking for some arm candy to pass their time.” “You’re insane Donghyuck.” “Insanely brilliant that is,” his friend grinned, “This is literally the perfect solution for all your problems.” “How is fucking some old hag going to solve any of my problems?” “Oh come on, Jeno,” Donghyuck groaned, “There are plenty of sites that let you choose your preferred partner for this kind of arrangement. And don’t even try to deny that you’re into older girls.” At that Jeno flushed a deep red color. His preference about his partners was basically an open secret in their group of friends that he had confessed after a drunken round of truth or dare some time in highschool when Renjun had asked him why he had rejected the confession of a cute girl a year below them to keep crushing on the substitute teacher they had. Chenle had not let this thing die until Jeno had started to date a girl from Mark’s class and even then the boy had made some cruel comments about their age difference. “Here, Renjun found a site that seems very legit,” Donghyuck brought him back from his memories, scribbling down a link on a piece of paper, “Please just check it out.” “That’s a lot of promises I have to give today,” Jeno mused but took the paper to put it into his pocket. “We’re just trying to look out for you Jeno.” “I know,” he sighed, “And I appreciate that.” “You’re running thin Jeno.” “I know Hyuck!” He said, making his friend flinch at his outburst, “I fucking know, okay. I’m sorry I am making you all worry with how terrible my life currently is. It’s not like I am happy about it but you could really stop bitching about it.” Just when Donghyuck opened his mouth to reply something, Jeno’s eyes shot to the big clock on the wall. “Safe it Hyuck, I need to go to my shift.” With that he got up to hoist his bag that was barely holding together onto his shoulder and basically fled the cafeteria. Donghyuck could bring back his plate, that was the least he could do.  

Once outside, the student quickly plugged in his earphones into his phone and played his favorite playlist on his way to the record store, inwardly scolding himself for being so proud and not leeching off of Jaemin’s spotify anymore when what felt like the third ad in ten minutes interrupted his vibing. At the record store, he quickly unlocked the front door and put on a random record to play over the speakers before he got situated behind the counter to try to revise his notes from today that were unreadable at best. He had fallen asleep at least twice in his morning class and had to be shaken awake by one of his classmates once the lecture was over. Great. So self-study it was.

Over the course of his shift, he was only interrupted twice from reading the chapter in the book that he was pretty sure he should have brought back to the library last week. But since he really didn’t have any money to spare for the fine, he had decided to keep it a little longer until he was at a financially better place which was nowhere near in close sight now that he was fired from his job at said library. Which brought him back to what Donghyuck had said to him. But him becoming a sugar baby? Jeno really couldn’t think of himself in such a position. Sure, he wasn’t bad looking but when he thought of the word sugar baby he thought of beautiful and petite boys like Renjun or maybe even Jaemin but him? Even though he had lost quite some muscle mass since this shitshow had begun, he was still built quiet broad and had more of a masculine, handsome feel than sweet and beautiful. And wasn’t that was sugar mommies would look for? If they wanted a man, they wouldn’t search for a someone younger. Jeno sighed loudly and let his head hit his book. This was a hopeless situation.

But he guessed having a look at the site wouldn’t hurt and so Jeno ended up typing in the address of the sugar baby site into the computer at work, praying the owner didn’t know how to check which sites he had opened once he’d delete the browser history. The site itself looked clean, mainly consisting of muted pastel colors and black font and accents. If you weren’t signed in, you didn’t get much information on what exactly was going on but the site claimed that keeping their clients data safe was their main concern since very influential people were using their site. Jeno completely blamed Donghyuck and the two redbulls he had already had for clicking on the pastel blue ‘sign up’ button. He then had to fill out basic data about himself: His gender, age, profession and interests along with his sexual orientation. He hesitated for a second when the site asked if he was okay to be partnered with someone of the same sex for a strictly platonic relationship but denied it in the end. Next he was asked to choose a nickname to chat with potential benefactors as the site called the sugar mommies and daddies. Was this where he should choose something cute to attract people to his profile? Whacking his brain for any cute plays on his actual name, he came up with exactly nothing other than the No-Jam nickname he had earned in highschool which really wasn’t cute at all. The only other thing that came to mind was when Jaemin jokingly called himself Nana and Jeno Nono in that god-awful aegyo voice which never failed to make Jeno cringe. Why did he have to choose a nickname anyways? It was to protect the benefactors; he really didn’t have anything else to lose than his dignity. Sighing, Jeno quickly typed in: ‘Jenonono’ as his nickname, only cringing slightly when choosing a password and entering his email address to confirm everything. Once he had activated his account with the link he was sent, Jeno only had to choose a couple of pictures for his profile to complete it. Well this was a problem. Jeno couldn’t even remember the last time he took a selfie where he wasn’t looking like death on two legs to send them to his friends. He quickly scrolled through his camera roll in search for at least one decently attractive photo. He only stopped scrolling when he found photos from almost a year ago before he had changed his field of study and had the fall-out with his parents. His hair was bleached a bright blonde color and the sides were shaved but he was looking good, more toned than he was now and like he actually slept at night. Not even close to how he was looking right now but it was still him, so did this count as catfishing? He quickly chose two photos with his blonde hair styled up and one with his natural haircolor from before he and Jaemin had the great idea to bleach each other’s hair and send them to himself via mail so he could upload them onto the website.

When Jeno pressed the ‘complete’ button, the site showed him on overview of what his profile would look like and it wasn’t even half bad if he did say so himself. He still felt a little uneasy about the whole thing and the fact that he was basically catfishing people into thinking he still looked so bulky and put together like he had looked last year didn’t help. “Come on Jeno, you have nothing to lose,” he grumbled and pressed the ‘confirm’ button one last time. His profile disappeared and the site instead showed Jeno their actual layout for the matching. Unlike other dating sites, he couldn’t swipe through potential benefactors himself; he had to wait until someone actually message him. Great. So he had to hope that his pictures and his honestly not great profile would lure someone in who was at least mildly attractive. Maybe no one would ever contact him and he could just throw it back into Donghyuck’s face how this had been a shitty idea to begin with. Sighing, he closed the site for now and deleted the browser history just to be safe as well.

The rest of his shift went by in a blur of trying to make sense of his scribbly notes and whatever the authors of the book he was reading were trying to teach him about the anatomy of different species and Jeno didn’t even think twice about the site he had signed up for when he closed down the shop and went home to his shitty dorm. The short trip to the convenience store only made him more aware of how poor he was when he had to choose between an actual meal and food for the cat he had recently (very much illegally) saved from the streets and taken in. He’d be more than damned if the kitten he had named Bongsik would have to suffer, so it would be a delicious meal for her and more instant ramen for Jeno.

Back at his dorm room - a single one that could barely fit his bed, wardrobe and desk - the little cat immediately rubbed its tiny head against his pant leg and Jeno couldn’t help but smile and bend down to pet the little creature. He felt a little bit of tension immediately seep from his tired muscles and indulged the kitten in a little cuddle session until he felt his eyes starting to itch. His allergies be damned! Sighing the boy got up to actually shed his jacket and shoes and opened the fresh can of delicious cat food for Bongsik who immediately devoured it. If she thought it was delicious, would it taste good for Jeno as well? Chuckling he turned back to prepare his own food, all this instant ramen might have started to take a toll on his psyche. He ate his meal in silence before throwing both containers in the trash. Jeno knew he had to work on his essay for one of his classes but for a moment he just felt the need to relax for a bit, especially now that he didn’t have to rush over to his job at the library. Taking out his phone, he quickly replied to the group chat of his friends where they were animatedly planning a trip to the cinema on Friday which Jeno had to decline. Not only did he have a shift at the bar but he also didn’t really have the money for it. Sighing he locked his phone again. Well that went great, now he was stressed again. “Bongsik you love me right?” He asked and turned towards his cat again who was lounging next to him on the floor, her belly full with delicious food. Oh to be a cat...

Jeno sighed again when his cat of course didn’t answer. He really was going insane. But it was going to be worth it, he reminded himself again. Once this was all over he would be a vet and able to help all kinds of animals. He would make good money and could pay off his tuition slowly and maybe a couple of years later he could even have his own medical practice. But to have all that, he really needed to up his grades. Especially this godawful anatomy grade. Groaning Jeno got up from the floor to plop down on his desk and start his laptop that made an awful lot of noise while booting up. Knowing that it took the device a good two minutes give or take to completely be ready, he started to go through his notes again before typing them into the document where he compiled all his notes just to have them all nice and neat in one place.

By some ungodly hour in the morning, Jeno’s eyes started to close more and more often on their own accord and the letters on the screen started to blur together despite wearing his glasses. “We should probably call it a night, Bongsik,” he spoke into the silent room, his cat already fast asleep at the foot of his bed. Fondly smiling at her, he saved his progress on both his notes and his essay and shut down his laptop. Jeno didn’t really dare to look at the time, so he just quickly grabbed his stuff for the bathroom and got himself ready for bed in the vacant bathroom he shared with a couple of other students. But at this time it was almost guaranteed to be empty.

Once back in his dorm, Jeno quickly climbed under the covers and plugged his phone in to make sure his alarm would actually go off in about 4 hours. Even though he was dead tired now that his body was surrounded by the warmth of his bed, a notification caught his attention. Leeching off of the free wifi at the record store, he had downloaded the app that came with the sugar baby site praying it would work on his outdated phone which it luckily did. Maybe the programmers had actually thought about broke students with shitty phones just like him for once. Taking a deep breath, Jeno clicked on the notification that had told him that a potential benefactor wanted to text him. Well that was quick. A lot quicker than he had anticipated. When the app had finally loaded with the shitty wifi he definitely not stole from his dorm neighbor (he had set his password as 1234, he was begging to have it stolen), a profile of a woman showed up. She smiled warmly in the picture she had chosen and it seemed to be taken at some tropical place judging by the palm trees in the background. Jeno quickly skimmed through the rest of her profile that only said that she wasn’t that much older than him. Well she was but not to the extent where she could have been his mother - ew. As her job she just had just listed estate agent. Did that pay well? Jeno didn’t know. His thumb hovered over the pastel button that said ‘accept’. If he would press this, this wasn’t just a ‘I’ll take a look at this app for Donghyuck’s sake’ then he was actually invested. But even if he accepted, he was not entitled to the woman. He could still say no if she turned out to be a creep. Hell, he didn’t even have to meet her ever if he didn’t like chatting with her. Before his courage could leave him, Jeno quickly accepted the offer and a new page opened that looked just like every other messenger.

To: Jenonono You’re up late.

What a weird way to open up a conversation. But it certainly was better than perverted innuendos or a ‘hi’ like Jaemin was continuously whining over whenever he had reinstalled tinder. But what was he supposed to reply? Should he try to act cute and coy? Was that what she would be looking for? But before he could even type anything, she had sent another message.

To: Jenonono You don’t seem like the typical boy you find on here.

What was that supposed to mean?

From: Jenonono I’m not? what are those like then?

To: Jenonono They’re not as handsome as you.

At that Jeno flushed a deep red color. He wasn’t used to such blatant flirting.

To: Jenonono I really like the blonde on you but the darker color is cute as well.

From: Jenonono it’s dark right now

As soon as he hit send, Jeno wanted to hit himself. What was she supposed to answer to that message? God he was such an idiot.

To: Jenonono Cute. Are you nervous?

From: Jenonono I have never done this before and didn’t think someone would message someone like me

To: Jenonono I haven’t been doing this for long either. And what do you mean by ‘someone like me’?

From: Jenonono you said yourself that I’m not the typical boy you would find on here...

To: Jenonono Well occasionally there is a diamond between all the rocks.

Jeno wasn’t sure if this was even an actual saying but it made him feel warm nevertheless.

From: Jenonono you’re pretty forward with your flirting

To: Jenonono Am I making you shy, baby?

As if to prove her point, Jeno almost choked on his own saliva, coughing loudly which ultimately woke up Bongsik who threw him a very much not amused gaze. He hadn’t known that just reading the word baby would have such an effect on him. A voice in the back of his head that sounded a little too much like Donghyuck called him a ‘bottom bitch’. Biting his lip he contemplated whether he should flirt back. Up until now it was fun talking to her. And he still had nothing to lose.

From: Jenonono What if I maybe blushed just the smallest bit?

To: Jenonono You’re so cute. I’m glad I found you. But you should go sleep, baby. It’s late already.

From: Jenonono shouldn’t you be asleep as well then?

To: Jenonono I just came back from a long flight and my bed seems a little lonely.

Was this his chance to get a little flirtatious himself? Was she testing him?

From: Jenonono would you want me there with you? so it’s not as lonely?

To: Jenonono That does sound very tempting, baby boy. Let me take you out for a meal before I take you to bed.

Jeno’s breath caught in his throat for a little before he broke out in little giggles. He had completely forgotten how good it felt to feel wanted between all the stress that his life currently was. Maybe but just maybe Donghyuck had been right and this truly could be the solution for many of his problems.

From: Jenonono is that an invitation?

To: Jenonono How does lunch tomorrow sound like baby? I’ll treat you to something delicious.

Gnawing at his thumb, Jeno read the message over and over. He didn’t even know the woman. Meeting up with her might be a risk. For all he knew she could be a serial killer.

To: Jenonono I know this is sudden. But I want to get to know you better. Face to face. Not just over a stupid text box.

Taking a deep breath, Jeno took all his courage and replied with shaking fingers.

From: Jenonono I have a little break between my last class of the day and before I have to go to my part time job.

To: Jenonono There is a cute little bistro not too far from where I remember the main dorm buildings were. [link attached]

Clicking on the link, a website opened and showed him a French-style bistro that judging by the address was right between his dorm and the record shop. He should be able to do it. Curiously he clicked on the menu and immediately regretted it. The prices were ridiculous. For the price of a simple piece of bread, he could easily feed Bongsik and himself for two days.

From: Jenonono isn’t this a little too much?

To: Jenonono Let me spoil you, baby. Just tell me the time and I’ll make sure that I can be there.

From: Jenonono would around one work for you?

To: Jenonono I’ll be there. I’m looking forward to meeting you. Now sleep tight and have sweet dreams, baby.

From: Jenonono maybe I’ll even dream of you

Screaming into his pillow, Jeno threw his phone away. He couldn’t believe that he just send that. Quickly grabbing his kitten, he pressed his face into her soft fur while she struggled in his hold. “Bongsik I have a date,” he whispered, “An actual date. With a potentially very rich woman. I can’t believe I actually did that.”

[vulcan-highblood]

Oh oh, do VULCAN for the Fanfic Ask game :D And choose the fic you want to answer for hte ones with [insert fic]? :D

Ahaha what a clever take on the ask game, I love it :3 V: If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?      > This is such a hard question! Most of the fics I read have very satisfying endings so I don’t feel the need to add to the established canon of the work? But I have definitely written fics inspired by incomplete or open-ended works before (Dearest Despised and A Match Made In...), though. So I guess I’d say if the ending was ambiguous or open-ended, watch out. I just might want to write some closure for your characters. U: Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.      > HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME? This is such a Herculean Task to set before me, only THREE? I genuinely cant do that for Naruto fandom there are too many, so turning to other fandoms for my faves, uhhhhhh ok in no particular order:            1. MuffinLance - New to the ATLA fandom and already a BNF, probably my new favorite Zuko writer of all time. Gen fic hero, master of all things found family, angst, and traumatic Zuko AU (as if zuko’s life wasn’t traumatic enough). Came for the “Towards The Sun”, stayed for the “Little Zuko vs The World” and “Salvage” (Their writing style is so concise and yet conveys a wealth of information. I love their narrative voice. I wish I could write like they write.)            2. lalazee - Old standby in the BNHA fandom, one of the BNFs, for good reason. First found their fic Crybaby, but one of the things I have to remind myself every time I start to read something of theirs is I must be prepared to Not Do Anything Else until I finish reading. Their works are addictive and engaging, powerful stories and their narrative voice can bring me to my knees. They don’t shy away from tough topics and also they’re personally my biggest “if I could write smut like this I’d write it all the time” inspiration            3. Unpretty - I’ve only read their series Sorrowful and Immaculate Hearts, and I don’t even remember why, but they’re the author who not only made me like Bruce Wayne after popular culture made me hate him for years, they’re also incredibly good with multimedia fic and using a variety of mediums to convey a story. My personal favorite was the entire newspaper article written by “Vicki Vale” for the “Gotham Gazette” and “reader comments” about an incident involving a “Pastel Batman” (Seriously incredible stuff) and an entire in-character discord chat involving Tim Drake’s first interactions with Bruce Wayne at a party (it’s also incredible). Really opened my eyes to just how creative fan media can be, and how funny and enjoyable unconventional and creative multimedia works really are. Please please please check them out. (also featuring good smut goals) L: How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?      > This is really embarrassing but i usually only revise the end of the chapter, like, once, because I tend to do a rolling edit where I’ll read the beginning of the chapter and edit until I reach the end of the chapter. So, a minimum of once, and then a last skim when I post to Ao3, but earlier parts might get six, seven, eight edit run-throughs depending on how many times I set the fic down before finishing a chapter. C: What member do you identify with most?      > ...I’m going to assume this meant to say “character”? It’s funny, because writing is very much an escape for me, so I often write stories from the perspective of characters I’m not very much like, but that I enjoy inhabiting for a time. I think recently, writing Iruka-sensei from Naruto is probably the character that I most identify with, because if I were a ninja I’d probably be the one sitting back home teaching kids and being like “can we not do the child soldier thing? for five minutes, konoha?“ but probably with less yelling. Though if I had a kid like naruto in my class... maybe I’d be yelling more, too (>.<;) A: How did you come up with the title to [insert fic]?      > This is my process for titling a fic:             1. finish the chapter/oneshot/etc            2. Go to Ao3, tag the fic, fill in the author notes, apply skins as needed            3. Stare blankly at the title space on Ao3. Why must I suffer?            4. Try to think of something witty or clever that is vaguely adjacent to the theme of the fic            5. Give up on that and try to think of something that at least doesn’t sound completely unreadable            6. Just. Write a lot of words and hope they make sense. Ellipses sound deep, right? Right?!?            7. Post the fic and hope for the best! N: Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you?      > i think part of my problem is I always wanna write my ideas because I love them, but time is a real serious constraint. Mostly I want people to write their fics so I can read them. But I will say that if anyone wanted to take my ATLA fic��“(Blue) Spirited Away” off my hands for a short time I’d appreciate it. My writer’s block with that particular fic is so bad right now (T.T) I even have an outline for it and YET. Maybe if I gave it to someone else for like a chapter, my inspiration would come back. One can always hope. Thanks so much for asking these @kageillusionz!! :D

[itscookieoverlordtoyou]

40 Questions — Meme for Fic Writers

Don’t you sometimes see those ask games and wish you could just fkg do them all? On this sunny Saturday, we make our dreams reality lolol

1.  Describe your comfort zone—a typical you-fic.

Short fic, I usually get a small scene I want written so I write around it, plus I love short stories with interesting punchline.

2.  Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to?

Probably, I don’t know them all ^^’

3.  Is there a trope you wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole?

Writing about stuff that disgust me I guess.

4.  How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Care to share one of them?

Like 5-6? I want to write about a restaurant but set in a world where people have powers I think the combo could be very funny. The main character has the power of insight, the plonge is a giant pool where you swim around cleaning. Backstories of characters with shitty and amazing powers and how they ended up here. Rival to lover character that has the power to see into the future.

5. Share one of your strengths.

Dialogues, subversion, and humor; classmates often said I have a touch to spin a sad story into something positive/happier.

6.  Share one of your weaknesses?

I get tired when I describe something for longer than 4 sentences.

7.  Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

“In what kind of trouble have we walked right into?”, I ask my companions as they’re idly fixing their attire. Together, we’ve face many perils and this mission ranks among one of the most dangerous. Yet, the others had been…how should I say it…professional! Rescuing kidnapped princesses, vanquishing terrifying monsters, quests to restore mythical artifacts, save nations from insidious plots. Oddly enough, “Does this dress make me look fat?”, is not the answer I’m looking for.

Ribbon in my hair is the first time I wrote about my knights, I first dreamt about them when I as 18, my boyfriend at the time called my idea stupid and my world building pointless so I only started writing about them when I was 21. Now I write about them a little bit every year :)

8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

“Do you really want your last words to be complaints?”

“I die as I lived.”

“Will we become a fruit tree?”

“I don’t think so, it’s never been the case for my ancestors.”

“I’d love it if we could turn into a banana tree.”

“I’m not from the southern regions, plus I like apples more.”

“Just imagine, our fruits could have been banana flambée”

This death scene was a big finale to a story I wrote for a class in Uni, a story of war between clan of forest and volcano people, of the supposedly brutal death of a Goddess, of a mysterious apple tree whose fruit give vision of the past. I should revisit it.

9.  Which fic as been the hardest to write?

My analysis on D’Artagnan and the figure of the hero. Granted it’s an essay for school but I deeply loved it. I was too afraid to write or ask for help from the professor in charge of me (which made our relationship tense ^^’) but when I did, it was beautiful and I was very proud got 89% :D

10.  Which fic has been the easiest to write?

A play called Adelaide where an old couple reads their old fairytale book about a Prince on a quest to save a Princess. They bicker about the other misreading the story but we finally get to the part where the Prince tosses the princess apart to get a better view of the dragon of which he falls instantly in love. The book is actually their wedding album.

11.  Is writing your passion or just a fun hobby?

It’s one of my passions, but it’s not something I think I could live on so I delegated it to my hobby.

12.  Is there an episode above all others that inspires you just a little bit more?

The wedding scene in Shrek 2, my mind was blown when I saw it in theaters and when I need inspiration to write, I rewatch it.

13.  What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across?

Presentation is important. If trying to read you gives people headaches, they’ll stop. Choose a nice big font, space with paragraphs, be mindful of your spelling and missing words. Read out loud because some things written are bad said.

14.  What’s the worst writing advice you’ve ever come across?

I must’ve been lucky in this regard, I don’t think I’ve ever received advice that made me go NO, but I did have to listen/read stuff that made me gag.

15.  If you could choose one of your fics to be filmed, which would you choose?

I would love to the Adelaide acted out, some adjustments would be required because I’m no expert in play writing but I think I’d be great.

16.  If you only could write one pairing for the rest of your life, which pairing would it be?

Luyenor’a and Taram, names are placeholders as of now but they’re two of my knight, being the “only pairing I’m allow to write about forever” means I’d get more knight shenanigans done.

17.  Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

I’m doing bullets point of what I want to happen and write stuff without much order. Some days I have no inspirations for what goes in the beginning but have loads for a later point. I surf the wave when it presents itself.

18.  Do you use any tools, like worksheets or outlines?

Word on my computer, a notebook in my bag, the note app in my phone.

19. Stephen King once said that his muse is a man who lives in the basement. Do you have a muse?

I have little trinkets all around my computer to invite inspiration.

20. Describe your perfect writing conditions.

Freshly woken up, having eaten, drinking something sugary and sometimes apple cider because the alcohol help lower my inhibition.

21.  How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

I read out loud at least once the whole thing, helps with missing words but dude I reread my stuff on ao3 and always find mistakes still ^^’

22. Choose a passage from one of your earlier fics and edit it into your current writing style. (Person sending the ask is free to make suggestions).

I’m not going to put here because it’s in French and I don’t want to translate now but I wrote Vision of a world, mine when I was 16 and damn was I already depressed then?

23.  If you were to revise one of your older fics from start to finish, which would it be and why?

The Princess and the Soldier, some gay fairytale I think my first one, I’m sure I can do better bow

I also have one about a janitor and it’s a murder mystery I could redo

24. Have you ever deleted one of your published fics?

Once by accident, I was so angry I never rewrote it.

25.  What do you look for in a beta?

I don’t really use beta (beta reader right?) but I guess I’ve had like 3-4 when I was in Uni and had to read people’s wip and they read mine. They’d talk about what they liked, links they noticed, things that seemed weak or to change

26.  Do you beta yourself? If so, what kind of beta are you?

I usually just point out the stuff I like

27.  How do you feel about collaborations?

For a class in college, we had to act out a play we wrote collectively. Ten sketches written in pairs/alone. I made sure I was alone so I wouldn’t be saddled with someone else to write my sketch

28. Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

I don’t follow fic writers; I just am in a mood for a ship and read what’s available. I do like my friend @alumort ‘s fics tho ^^

29.  If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

There was a Phineas and Ferb fic focused on Perry I really loved. Their world building was something I’d never seen and they abandoned the story, so I did fanfic of a fic. Never dared to post it anywhere I mean it was their world to begin with.

30.  Do you accept prompts?

Of course, when inspiration is given I accept

31.  Do you take liberties with canon or are you very strict about your fic being canon compliant?

I don’t care about canon but I do love using it when there are little trivia to enrich the character.

32.  How do you feel about smut?

Love to read it sometimes, would love to write it. Some I’m like………….youveneverhadsexhaveyou…………………

33.  How do you feel about crack?

Love it!!!!!!!! I’m too self-conscious to write it tho. Oh maybe that could be a never before written trope I could try?

34.  What are your thoughts on non-con and dub-con?

Rape I can’t, dub-con where underlying requited feelings exist but anxiety™ don’t let the characters express them but they’re drunk so it surfaces is okay

35.  Would you ever kill off a canon character?

Hell yeah! I do when/if the death makes sense (I am still pissed at Kishi for Neji)

36.  Which is your favorite site to post fic?

Ao3 is where I post,I used devianart when I had one

37.  Talk about your current wips.

Marry Me for the Love of Cake: God I’m so sorry to the few people who followed it, I said I’d pick it up before the end of 2019 and well……I have the ending in bullet points

Yours, with Love: I hope I’ll finish it…I have most of the ending in bullet points

I guess I’m into rom com at the moment lolol

38.  Talk about a review that made your day.

I made my best friend read All this for a Roll Cake, and she laughed so much at my work, I took a picture I look at from time to time to remain humble.

39.  Do you ever get rude reviews and how do you deal with them?

Thankfully I’ve never received a rude review. My professor once told me it seemed kinda unnatural how unlucky my protagonist was vs. how lucky his love interest was (All this for a Roll Cake) but that was the whole point of the story so I just ignored her.

40.  Write an alternative ending to [insert fic title] (or just the summary of one).

Writing this I realised I lost my final version of All this for a Roll Cake T^T so I guess I’d rewrite the ending I have of the before the last version I still have.

Well this was fun ^^ got to revisit my works and remember many beloved pieces of fiction I wrote, I look forward to my next projects

[helenarasmussen87]

Writing Asks

This the post where I know no one is going to ask me anyway.

1. Describe your comfort zone—a typical you-fic.

Something that is like a “Oh hey, what happens if we do THIS!” and go from there. Usually ends up having loads of emotions, comfort, angst, introspection, loads of kitchen sink dialogues, not too much action. Families, happy endings.

2. Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to?

Fluffy stuff and humourous stuff. I am a little too serious for either one and my humour is drier than the desert and very odd. So no.

3. Is there a trope you wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole?

Teacher and Student relationships. Necrophilia, abuse of all sorts, underage. Just not my thing. I’ve gotten unable to stomach a lot of grimdark and super dark stuff as I get older so I won’t write it. But go ahead if that’s your thing.

4. How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Care to share one of them?

Two, since I can’t have more than two on the burner. Learned THAT early on and they’re Terror AU’s One is a fixit, but with health complications and angst. The other is a Modern Day AU which has two professors falling in love after one gets injured and the other worked as an EMT and helps to take care of him and they fall in love.

5. Share one of your strengths.

I can offer insights on what flows and what doesn’t. I can also happily shred my own drafts if they don’t work. 

6. Share one of your weaknesses.

Action. I work at it, but it’s not my favourite. Or war writing. 

7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

“Danny had to turn his head away to hide his smile, because he knew that it was a legitimate concern for Jose. Most of the time, he had jumped into bed with his partners first and then did the mating dance. 

Although extremely smart in other aspects, dating and social interactions were always a bit skewed, because he was always second-guessing himself and nervous as hell.

“That’s actually how things work out in these situations. At least it did for me and my ex and for me and Claude.” Danny explained calmly, making Jose nod and take another pull of his slurpee.

“So what do I do? Like is there a time when I bring up the possibility of us sleeping together?” Jose asked, the words slightly mumbled as he chewed on the straw.

“You don’t bring it up. You’ll just know when the time is right for it to happen. Sex isn’t what a relationship should be built on. Yes, it’s nice and it’s part of it, but it’s not the end all to be all. Trust me on this. It will happen if it’s meant to happen.” Danny explained, hoping that he had put it all in the plainest and simplest terms he could for his friend.

I am proud of this because it was majorly borrowing from life and I can see the difference from earlier writing. 

8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

“Sergio laughed shortly. “I’ve already done enough of that, and look at where it’s gotten you. Yeah, legally I hold claim over you. I could make the club buy out your contract and sit at home all day, having litter after litter.”

Iker’s blood froze at that and he turned to look at Sergio to see if he really meant it, but Sergio’s face gave nothing away.

“Or I could sign your rights to the club and let them sell you wherever or to whomever. Take you out of Spain, or sell you to Getafe or Malaga. All of these things I could do. The club actually did bring it up at that meeting you didn’t show up for.”

Iker blinked, his hands going numb as Sergio’s wickedly honed words hit home.

“I’m not telling you this to hurt you. Or make you feel indebted. I’m telling this to you because you’re this close to losing your spot and that’s the last thing I want for you. But there’s only so much I can do for you.”

He sighed and looked at Iker dead in the eyes.

“I miss him too, Iker. I miss Antonio every fucking day. And I miss you.”

Iker swallowed hard as Sergio abruptly turned and left, slamming the front door and freeing him from the command so suddenly that Iker fell onto the couch and curled up in it.

He had no energy to do anything else. Not when he was all too aware he’d fucked up and fucked up big and needed to fix it.

Borrowed from life again and it was more of a dialogue that needed to be had when you finally realize how much you fucked up and how much you need to stop coasting and make it right. 

9. Which fic has been the hardest to write?

ALL OF THEM! Kidding. I want to say the one I’m working on right now. I was lucky enough I got a ton of help fleshing it out. I can see the end of the 1st chapter and I am having a hell of a time writing Goodsir’s chunk. He’s turned out more emo and romantic than I was expecting. 

10. Which fic has been the easiest to write?

The QuiObi prompts for the prompt week. Took me like two hours to knock them off and post. 

11. Is writing your passion or just a fun hobby?

Its a passion and a hobby. It helped me through a lot of rough patches and keeps me sane. 

12. Is there an episode above all others that inspires you just a little bit more?

Mostly music or a change in life. I tend to write when everything is in flux with me.

13. What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across?

Just write. Worry about editing later. Once you have something on the paper, fixing it up becomes easier. 

14. What’s the worst writing advice you’ve ever come across?

Edit as you write. You don’t get anything done.

15. If you could choose one of your fics to be filmed, which would you choose?

Oooh. I think it’s a toss up between my Qui-Gon/Jango fic in a pastoral setting where they have put their pasts behind and are farmers on Concord Dawn. Or the Werewolf fic I wrote during my RPF phase.

16. If you only could write one pairing for the rest of your life, which pairing would it be?

Bloody hard. I would have to say Fitzier (Commander Fitzjames/Captain Crozier)

17. Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

Depends. Sometimes I go straight from beginning to end and sometimes I end up writing the middle and not figuring it out until later.

18. Do you use any tools, like worksheets or outlines?

Outlines. I have notebooks I jot down point form notes about the characters and the plot.

18. Stephen King once said that his muse is a man who lives in the basement. Do you have a muse?

Mine is a librarian or an alchemist trying to figure out answers and how things fit in.

19. Describe your perfect writing conditions.

A good playlist. Alone, in my room.

20. How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

I revise it along the way when I sit down to write. Then before I post, I give it a once over to make sure it flows and makes sense. 

21. Choose a passage from one of your earlier fics and edit it into your current writing style. (Person sending the ask is free to make suggestions).

All my old fics are honestly gone so I’m skipping this one. 

22. If you were to revise one of your older fics from start to finish, which would it be and why?

Honestly? The Duo and Heero one I wrote about them being in an abusive relationship where they split up, then got back together again. I was again writing from life, and I have seen couples who did overcome it, but looking back, I think I should have written it that they separated and went their own ways. 

Keep in mind I was very young when I wrote this, and I was in an abusive relationship myself and didn’t realise it at the time. He hit me once, apologised and never did it again. But he did end up manipulating me, gaslighting me, and emotionally abusing me until I finally had enough and left. 

23. Have you ever deleted one of your published fics?

Yes. Loads of them due to me not wanting to finish them. Or the hosting sites going under. 

24. What do you look for in a beta?

Someone who is honest, someone who knows the way I write, and has suggestions to fix those said things. But someone who is themselves is the best. Because they know what they want. Same here. 

25. Do you beta yourself? If so, what kind of beta are you?

I do, simply due to lack of steady betas. Flow and story telling, but I also look for syntax and formatting as well as grammar. I will miss typos, so I run spell-check too. I mostly use a mental rubric. Teacher training.

26. How do you feel about collaborations?

I haven’t had a successful one due to the second person always deciding that they can’t follow through or up and disappearing. So I don’t do them.

27. Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

Oh my God! I read so much and so many different people that I can’t pinpoint three. I usually end up reading a fic or two, so I can’t say why I read the author.

28. If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

I haven’t done that. I do admit to having inspired by fics. I wouldn’t ever presume to do that. It just feels like a snub.

29. Do you accept prompts?

Not really. I can’t tailor write stuff consistently. 

30. Do you take liberties with canon or are you very strict about your fic being canon compliant?

Oh always! I end up liking the characters that somehow never make it until the end. And in the Terror, unless you want to write angst all the time, you HAVE to ignore canon. And I mean BOTH the book and the show, since the book is nasty. The show is amazing, but oh my god is it depressing.

31. How do you feel about smut?

Yes damned please!

32. How do you feel about crack?

Depends on how well it’s done. Sometimes it is needed. Sometimes it’s like “Why?”

33. What are your thoughts on non-con and dub-con?

A bit tricky. I don’t mind non-con, but it has to be handled well. Dub-con, especially in A/B/O happens within context and it is usually dealt with. So I can tolerate that more than the first. Outright abuse, no.

34. Would you ever kill off a canon character?

Yes. Not often thought. But yes. I usually try and keep as many alive as I can though.

35. Which is your favorite site to post fic?

AO3, its a wild place and I love it for that reason.

36. Talk about your current wips.

It’s an AU where two professors that live in the same building and work in different faculties get thrown together and start to get to know each other. Due to circumstance, one gets injured and the other kind of volunteers to help take care of him, where they fall in love. The others in the vicinity do also. There’s Canadian shenanigans and baking. 

37. Talk about a review that made your day.

That they really liked how I wrote Frank Randall and would like to see more with his son, an OC I created for the story.

38. Do you ever get rude reviews and how do you deal with them?

I either delete, or give a generic reply and leave it. I’ve got stuff to do.

40. Write an alternative ending to [insert fic title] (or just the summary of one).

Nope. It just doesn’t work for me.

*somewhere I fucked up on the number but here you are*

Whoever wants to do this.

[goldkirk]

For the 40 questions - 5, 6, 15, 23, 24, 27, and 29? As always feel free to pick and choose, and we adore hearing you talk so talk as much or as little as you so desire. I'm glad to hear that you slept well, as always, you are absolutely fantastic and lovely and I hope your day only gets better from here.

5. Share one of your strengths.

One of my big writing strengths (in MY opinion, I’m biased lol) is building a scene that feels pretty natural via small details of people’s movements and choices of seating and stuff. I love the little ways that people interact and the little bitty details that can show a lot of their personality—how someone eats ice cream, sits in a chair, fiddles with their clothes or hair, makes eye contact or not, etc. etc.

6. Share one of your weaknesses.

I really struggle with making dialogue more natural and not using it to just blabber whatever facts I want talked about. There are a lot of times "show, don’t tell” is good advice, but a lot of times when sometimes it’s really the best option to just tell your characters or readers a thing. But I tend to err too much on the side of that, to the point where much of my exposition is done through dialogue. That’s fine for the fics I currently write, but if I ever tackle something much more plot-heavy like a real novel, I’m really going to have to learn how to not do that so much. But it’s hard for me.

Already answered 15!

23. If you were to revise one of your older fics from start to finish, which would it be and why?

I don’t have a ton of older fics to draw from really, but I flicked through my published works, and I think it would be intersting to go back a year or two later now and rewrite freeze, breathe, release. I had a good idea going there, with the aftermath of the trauma Shiro’s been through affecting his day to day living, but I don’t feel now like I wrote nearly enough to portray what I wanted to portray, and I missed a LOT of opportunity for character interactions in that. I think if I wrote it now, it would be a much more detailed, much more emotional fic that’s probably 4x the length of the original haha. I wasn’t in any kind of groove with writing when I tried my hand at that while bored at work two summers ago. I could do a lot better of a job now.

24. Have you ever deleted one of your published fics?

I did on fanfiction.net, although I don’t remember what it was or what they were, even a little bit. On ao3 I’ve only ever orphaned works, because I know even if I hate them or it doesn’t look like anyone was invested, there could be someone out there who will go looking for it as something they read way back when and want to remember, and I want it to still be there if someone did like it in this great big world of fanfic readers. I’ve been that person and I know how lousy it feels to not find a fic you know you read once. It’s so nice that ao3 lets you do that!!!

27. How do you feel about collaborations?

I think they’re AMAZING!!! I love seeing what people come up with together, what their brains tangle up to make. Artists and writers, writers and writers, artists and artists, it’s all so awesome. I genuinely have no clue how more than one person writing together works for anything more complicated than a PowerPoint, but I love reading collab fics when they’re done well. It’s so fun to see people excited to work together on things! I love it!

29. If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

AAAAAAAHH THERE ARE TOO MANY OPTIONS????? Geez louise. Hm. Okay. HmmmmMMMMMMM maybe a sort-of prequel for The Button by distractedkat because GOD the idea of AOS Jim Kirk as a kid falling into the world of Coraline and going on that really painful emotional rollercoaster of meeting, enjoying, and then fleeing the Other Mother and everything is just...so amazing...so painful...like can you IMAGINE his thought processes, this little abandoned abused Jim Kirk being Paid Attention To and smothered in attention and gifts and care and not realizing for a while what feels off about it because he doesn’t have enough experience to know the difference between real love and that manipulation? and then the realization where he finally understands that he’s just being abused and used all over again and no one loves him there either except the one animal trying to save his life??? and deciding that he may be beat and he may be hurt and he may have a button eye and he may have fallen for it because goddamn it he just wanted someone to love him, but he’s not going to give up because there HAS to be something better, freer, REAL, and busting his way out of that world and back to the real one and finally finding a real family? I LOVE IT.

[ladyfl4me]

A,E,F,G,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y,Z ;o

Okay *cracks knuckles* let’s go! F, M, and S have already been taken from this list, so feel free to send in... B, C, D, or H, I guess. Yeehaw. This is really fucking long.

A: How did you come up with the title to [TMWCIFTC]? -- It started, as many things do, as a bad pun. The novel The Spy who Came In from the Cold was a cold-war spy thriller, about a British spy who goes over to East Germany as an apparent defect, except he’s actually there to spread misinformation and fuck shit up. He falls in love, becomes disillusioned with his superiors, and is shot dead over the corpse of his lover after climbing over to the east side of the wall. Needless to say, this is nowhere close to what happens in TMWCIFTC. I chose it early on because of the literal meaning: there’s a moth(man), he’s coming in from the cold WV weather, boom shaka laka, we have a title. Over time, though, it’s evolved into another meaning. Indrid himself is coming in from an isolated, lonely existence: he’s rejoining the family that cut ties with him, he’s in love, he’s warm and safe. The moth sure did come in from the cold, and hopefully he stays that way.

E: If you wrote a sequel to [TMWCIFTC], what would it be about? -- Hm. Considering my entire TAZ fic career is a tangled hairball of sequels and prequels, I kind of have this base covered. At the moment, TCOS - aka The Children of Sylvain, the sequel to TMWCIFTC - is about three things: a Pine Guard road trip race against time and the feds, the Spanish Sylvan Inquisition That Nobody Expected (least of all Jake and Hollis, who have to set aside their differences and past conflicts to save Kepler - and who knows, maybe they’ll fall in love along the way), and Alexandra the Interpreter getting woke to Sylvan politics and doing what she can from the inside to change them. In other words, it’s going to be a massive sequel that is the finale of the Amnesty alternate universe I’ve created. It’s this series’ Endgame. (That reminds me, I need an actual title for this collection of stories I’m writing. The “Tin Cinematic Universe” doesn’t quite have the ring to it that I’d like.)

G: Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order? -- eh, it kind of depends. It’s like a buffering bar on Youtube videos. I outline what I can until I run out of ideas, then start writing, then add outlines to the end, until the outline is complete and I just have to keep writing.

I: Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)? -- I don’t have one for reading, but for writing, I fucking love structuring chapters around songs. Classical or otherwise, I love music. All my stories play in my head like a movie screen, and I just do my best to describe what I’m seeing in my head with an accompanying score. It’s not so much a guilty pleasure as it is a writing process. Frankly, I don’t think I actually have a guilty pleasure; the act of writing itself is all the happiness I need.

J: Write or describe an alternative ending to [insert fic]. -- An alternate ending for The Devil Went Down To Georgia would be... interesting. It ended with Boyd-as-Jersey-Devil scaring the pants off some poor broke college kid, who stole his worthless fiddle; then he changed back, and he and Ned went on their merry way to go break into Aubrey’s house and send everything down the drain. If there was one thing that I could change in there, it would be how fast Ned ran. If he ran a little faster, he would have seen the alley; he would have witnessed Boyd turning into the Jersey Devil, or at least turning back into himself; and he’d get a very rude awakening as to what Sylvans are and that his partner (in crime, and everything that mattered) was a fucking cryptid. God, that’d be a fun AU to write. Who knows, I might go do that someday.

K: What’s the angstiest idea you’ve ever come up with? -- At the moment, the only angsty idea that I’m actually conceptualizing is a Hollis/Jake angsty breakup for TSG. (Spoilers, I guess.) I once wrote a very grimdark ending to TMWCIFTC where everyone fell through the ice and drowned. It wasn’t fun. I’ve also mentally killed off each Amnesty protagonist and NPC in various ways, but I never felt comfortable writing them down. I only write angst with a happy ending because those are the kinds of stories I need to hear.

L: How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting? -- 9 times out of 10, I just throw it into the void. I write as much as I can in big chunks, and then kind of hope for the best. TMWCIFTC, for example, is a completely unedited, unbetaed vomit draft. I usually do a quick reread of my oneshots to catch grammar and spelling errors, but other than that I just trust myself that it’s fine.

N: Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you? -- Can I get some kind of resolution for To the Edge of Night? Can I please get some kind of resolution for To the Edge of Night??? I was 14 chapters into that bastard before I a) became a more casual MCU fan and b) discovered TAZ. It was such a niche fic with such a niche structure - LOTR as galactic Asgardian propaganda to cover up Odin’s mistakes - that at some point I lost interest in it. I just saw Endgame though, so now I might get some inspiration for stuff to bastardize.

O: How do you begin a story–with the plot, or the characters? -- Characters. When coming up with character backstories, I can usually find ways to slot their lives together that necessitate a plot. I love character-driven stories, where their actions actually do shit and their words actually mean something, in favor of getting dragged along behind the plot like tin cans behind a car.

P: Are you what George R. R. Martin would call an “architect” or a “gardener”? (How much do you plan in advance, versus letting the story unfold as you go?) -- I’m definitely an architect, but in a really messy way. My friends can attest that I do an insane amount of planning for each story - often in their DMs, sorry about that, Fae, Cro, Indy and Aline 😬 - and all that usually ends up in a stream-of-consciousness rant outline on Google Drive. Knowing where the story is going helps me a lot, but the planning I do is definitely just building flower beds in which to sow seeds. Or building a greenhouse. I plan the bare bones of a story, and things get really wild within it, but it does follow a logical plot structure.

Q: How do you feel about collaborations? -- I have a lot of respect for the people who can successfully pull it off, but idk if i’d ever want to do one myself. I get really possessive of my stories and ideas and like to be the one in charge of their execution. That being said, some collabs have produced amazing stories. I don’t mind reading collab fics, but actually being in a collab grates on me more than it should.

R: Are there any writers (fanfic or otherwise) you consider an influence? -- I’m definitely influenced heavily by Neil Gaiman. I read American Gods and Good Omens a lot while I was trying to write TMWCIFTC; not only was it a good brain break, but I was able to pick up a lot of tips on scene pacing, concise yet expressive language, and character interactions. My creative wriitng professors have always told us to read so we know what to steal - not in terms of content, but in execution. 

On the fanfic side, @miamaroo is a huge inspiration for me. I’ve been reading Northern Migration a lot recently, and I love how its canon divergence is so worldshaking and so complex, but is still familiar in nostalgic yet terrifying ways. I read it back in October, went, “Huh, I wanna do something that wild. And if miamaroo can do it then I sure as fuck can too,” and I started planning TMWCIFTC during that one month dead zone the McElroys took last year. Northern Migration is one of the best, most coherent, most stunning, and most incredibly written TAZ Balance AUs I’ve ever read, and if I hadn’t read it, I wouldn’t have been inspired to take the fuckall huge plunge into TMWCIFTC.

S: Any fandom tropes you can’t resist? -- Bed sharing and cuddling, hand kissing, wrist kissing, whump, sympathetic villains. Canon divergent AUs are my absolute favorite things to both read and write. Anything that would turn me into Charlie Kelly slamming his finger on a bulletin board screaming, “CAROL,” is a fic I would give my life for. 

T: Any fandom tropes you can’t stand? -- Not a fan of a) woobification and b) flat villain characterization, to the point where the story is riding on villain tropes instead of an actual person or plot. Character nuance is always something I look for when I read. I don’t usually get bitter about tropes, though; some stuff, when subverted, works really well. I fully subscribe to don’t like, don’t read, don’t write, which is why I don’t write anything that warrants AO3 content warning tags or an Explicit rating, in favor of focusing on plot. Every author has a reason for what they write and how - be it their level of experience, personal preference, or simply the joy of writing something and getting it out there - and I respect that. Within reason, of course.

U: Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much. -- 

@miamaroo, for reasons I’ve already discussed. My favorite TAZ Balance author hands down. Read Northern Migration and give it the love it deserves, or I’m replacing all the faucets in your house with silly straws.

@transagentstern. Fae has a bunch of absolutely incredible fics and an amazing grasp on characterization. We come from the same place with AUs, in that canon is but the bare planks on which we put the drywall of our plot an characterization. They structure AUs and character backstories from the ground up in believable and emotionally raw ways. Also they have great music taste. I especially like their interpretation of Indrid in Moth to the Flame; he, like all the other characters in the story, is far from perfect, and his character arc is explored in relatable ways that I love to read. 

@keplersheetz. Aline - theneonpineapple on AO3 - researches like a motherfucker and has a wealth of knowledge/experience/viewpoints to draw on, making author-author interactions with her an absolute delight. She’s also doing the lord’s work with rarepairs. Spin a wheel, find a ship, and she’s probably written for it or at least conceptualized it. Reading her character studies and stories of the old Pine Guard - aka Mama’s original crew, before the current PCs joined - is always a delight. I’ve also hashed out a lot of details for The Children of Sylvain, especially for Mr. Boyd Mosche, guilt-wracked Jersey Devil extraordinaire, with her help. 

V: If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose? -- Not gonna lie, I’m fine with a lot of stuff that’s out there right now. It’s been a hot few months since I’ve actually stopped to read fic, but from what I recall, most of the fics I’ve read have done a good job of keeping things intact.

W: Do you like more general prompts, or more specific ones? -- The vaguer, the better. With really specific prompts, it usually feels as if the story’s been written for me already; with vague, general prompts, I have more agency to explore my own ideas. Some accompanying detail is usually nice, though. For example, the coffee shop/college/flower shop AUs that @transagentstern​ wrote are my ideal prompt for drabbles: premise, a little bit of open-ended detail, clear explanation of what’s going to happen while leaving the rest up to the imagination. Good stuff. If it’s for a long-form piece, though, I prefer full agency, or even just some time to lie facedown in the dirt and wait for an idea to strike me.

X: A character you enjoy making suffer. -- Yes.

Y: A character you want to protect. -- Tim.

Z: Major character death–do you ever write/read it? Is there a character whose death you can’t tolerate? -- I do read lots of major character death, yeah, though not always for TAZ. There’s something cathartic about seeing a character die, but sometimes it sits wrong with me in ways that I don’t like. As for writing, I’d rather kill a character for a reason rather than for shock value/for the Feels, though said Feels can accompany the reason. 

[seuzz]

February 6

Writing For the last few months, I've been writing interactive storylines on commission. It's been fun work, rewarding work, but there's been a little too much of it. As in, I've had >100K words of it to write, which is at least 75K words more than I am used to writing in one sweep on commission.

But the day before yesterday I finished off the last one, leaving me free to turn to other stuff. A suspended novel. Short stories.

An entire season of animated-adventure scripts.

Yeah, television scripts. That's not the usual kind of fan-fiction stuff, is it? I'm weird.

DisneyXD is the home to an animated Spider-Man TV show—called, with thumping literal-mindedness Marvel's Spider-Man—and about 18 months ago (yikes!) I got the idea to write my own version of the series. Not entirely from scratch, though! That would be too absurd rather than just absurd enough!

No, what I wanted was to write my own version of a story arc (from the comic books) that I read the series was planning to do Then, I could compare my treatment of the idea to theirs, and see what I could learn from the exercise. I discovered before long that this would be a very difficult and involved process, because my ideas for the arc would require revisions to episodes—to entire story arcs!—that had come before. Basically, I would have to outline my version of the series from the ground up, recycling as much as I could from the real series into my alternate series, before embarking on my own version of the arc-to-come. (Which has since come and gone, but I've refrained from watching it.)

I've been working on this project off and on (mostly off, but with some sustained patches of "on" too) for a year and a half, and a few months ago I finished outlining the prequel stuff. Yesterday, then, I at last started work on what it's supposed to be leading up to: the writing of a 13-episode mega-arc. I already had some rough notes worked up on it, and yesterday I reviewed those notes, added a lot more, and started arranging them into the outline of an outline.

So, no words, but lots of profitable work.

Reading I'm still looking for a new reading project, so I read another chapter in The Unconsoled.

Movie Dr. Kildare's Crisis (Lew Ayres; d. Harold S. Bucquet. 1940) It is Dr. Kildare's unhappy task to inform his fiancee's brother that he has epilepsy. Some bright character spots, but medically it is like a Simpsons' parody of itself.

[homeawayfromhogwarts394-blog]

On the twentieth day of Christmas, fanfiction gave to me... Snapeslittleblackbuttons! Check her out here on fanfiction.net, on Tumblr @snapeslittleblackbuttons, and read her interview below! 

Getting to Know You

HAFH: Tell us how you fell in love with Harry Potter

SLBB: It was gradual. With each book, I fell in love a little more. I’m not sure I remember a time before HP.

HAFH: Who is your favorite Character? Which is your favorite book? Why?

SLBB: Severus Snape. Truthfully, there are so many brilliant characters in the books, it’s as if all the rest of them come in a very close second. Draco, Hermione, Remus, Sirius… I suppose if I had to choose a book, it would be Half Blood Prince, followed by Prisoner of Azkaban.

HAFH: What is your favorite book (outside of HP)?

SLBB: This is one of the hardest questions anyone could ask me. There are so many I adore, I’m not sure I have a clear favorite. I love George’s Missing Joseph, J. R. Ward’s Lover Awakened, and Eco’s Unbearable Lightness of Being. I’m going to stop there. I used to work in a bookstore, and yes, I have a problem (don’t send help).

HAFH: What are your favorite holiday traditions?

SLBB:Nothing in particular.

HAFH: Do you like the holidays?

SLBB: Yes and no. There are things about the holidays that I like, and things I don’t.

HAFH: Share one of your strengths and one of your weaknesses. Doesn’t have to be writing related!

SLBB: I’m the slowest writer you know, I’m balls at spelling, and I probably edit far too much. On the other side, I’m decent with mechanics like grammar and punctuation.

HAFH: What other hobbies do you have?

SLBB: Is sitting on the beach and reading considered a hobby? I play with photography; sometimes I try to ski and ice skate.  

HAFH: Do you write anything outside of Harry Potter fanfiction?

SLBB: I’ve written poetry; I have an original work planned.

HAFH: What are you doing when you're not obsessing about Harry Potter or fanfiction?

SLBB: Usually, I’m driving my kids somewhere, most likely my daughter to ballet.

General Fanfiction

HAFH: Describe your comfort zone—a typical you-fic.

SLBB: My favorite fanfics feature Sevmione and are well-written, have little or no angst, and always have an HEA. I’ve suffered too much heartbreak in real life to want to read about it.

HAFH: If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

SLBB: Second Life by Lariope. It’s a 230K post-DH Sevmione. Here’s how it ends:

“He stroked a hand over her hair, and she tipped her head back to look at him. His eyes closed as he exhaled the last of his resistance and lowered his mouth to hers. For her, for this, he would try.”

I mean, holy shite, this just begs for a sequel, don’t you think?

HAFH: If you could choose one of your fics to be filmed, which would you choose? Any actors you would hope play your characters?

SLBB: I have no idea. I guess it would probably be Watch Over Me since it’s my most popular fic. As for the actors, I can see Adrien Brody or Trent Reznor as Sev, but truthfully it’s hard to imagine anyone but Alan in that role.

HAFH: If you only could write one pairing for the rest of your life, which pairing would it be?

SLBB: Only one pairing? You know, based on the the tons of encouragement and love I’ve gotten from A Promise Kept, Pansy and Harry. Just kidding! It would be Sevmione, of course. You might have been able to guess that already, though.

HAFH: Do you have a muse? What is it?! If not, where do you get your ideas?

SLBB: Well, my Muse works nights. I’ll often wake up and the next scene for my WIP has been mapped out. Or, while I’m asleep, she’ll fix wording that wasn’t flowing. I guess I have too much on my mind during waking hours!

HAFH: Do you read fanfiction? Do you read similar or different things than you write?

SLBB: I read a ton of fanfic, and I read a variety of things, both similar and very different than my own stuff.

HAFH: Share three of your favorite fic writers and what you like about them.

SLBB: ishouldbe (on ao3) / IShouldBeWritingSomethingElse (on ff): She writes the Sev that I have always been in love with.

Aurette: Well, it’s because she’s Aurette and she’s brilliant.

Lariope : Besides Second Life, she penned a shorter fic called ‘Advanced Contemporary Potion Making’. It’s one of very few that I will read that does not have an HEA. If, for some sadistic reason, I need my heart torn out, this is my go-to fic.   

HAFH: Share three of your favorite fanfictions and what you like about them.

SLBB: Three? I’m only allowed *three*? *figits* Okay, here goes...

Secrets We Keep by IShouldBe (on ao3) / IShouldBeWritingSomethingElse (on ff): I remember finishing the first chapter and thought, ‘this is exactly what I was looking for but didn’t know existed’. Issy is the entire reason I was inspired to write fanfiction. When she comments on my work, I have embarrassingly uber-fangirl moments.  

Rebuilding by @colubrina: This was the first Dramoine I ever read. Her writing seems effortless. I desperately need her to give me writing lessons, since I can struggle with overdone prose. In Rebuilding, she nails plot, character, dialogue, and description with an ease I can only dream about.

The Times He Tells Her by ausland: I love this fic because it captures Sevmione in the most realistic way I can imagine. It’s my go-to happy fic.

I know I’ve already listed three, but I feel like I have to mention @olivieblake’s Not With a Bang (Chapter 15 of Amortentia). It’s the best one-shot that has ever been written. Go read it. Right now.

HAFH: Does what you read affect what or how you write? If yes, how so?

SLBB: I think so. I’m inspired by gorgeous, lean prose, and since I’m always trying to improve, I try to emulate that style. I’m also inspired by the dedication of some of the authors out there (consider the length of their stories!) as well as how fast people can produce. It blows me away.

HAFH: How long have you been reading and writing fanfiction?

SLBB: A few years now.

Published Works

HAFH: Have you ever deleted one of your published fics? Why?

SLBB: No. I’ve thought about deleting my first fic, What Dumbledore Knew, but I never did. It needs revision and expansion. I never published it on ao3 (it’s just on ff), and I don’t plan to--until I revise it.

HAFH: Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

SLBB: This piece is from Once, Now, and Forevermore, a Sevmione reincarnation story. (note: strong language)

497 AD Southwest Britain countryside

Mud.

His horse, his shield, his mail, his food, even his bloody squire were covered in thick, brown mud. The kind that felt as though it would never, ever come off. The kind that permeated the skin under his fingernails and blanketed the crack in his arse like nothing else could. The kind—should one be coated in it as often as he had been lately—that left him wondering where the mud ended and he started.

Fuck, he felt like his entire life was covered in it.

So was this what it was like to serve the mighty Pendragon? Days upon days of squire-boy errands while he and his war horse were encrusted in filth? When he was done, he was going to get clean. Very clean. And maybe indulge in some…company. Arthur wasn't going to be the only one getting warm on those bitter nights that would be upon them soon. Not that he wasn't made of stern stuff, it was simply that he had always believed he was meant for bigger things. Things more…grand than mud. More…eternal.

Lancelot huffed a dispirited sigh. Wherever did he get those notions? His latest errand was a journey to retrieve Pendragon's young bride, the eldest daughter of Leodegrance. As someone relatively new to Arthur's service, he supposed he should be pleased he had been chosen him to fetch the girl. It was an honour to do so, and while his brain knew this, his muddy arse did not.

He was tired, that was all. He'd had to travel all the way to Logres to retrieve the sweet little morsel, dammit. And he'd much, much rather be doing something else. Anything else.

Rumor was that she was pretty, Pendragon's bride, with brown curls and brown eyes; young but intelligent, desired by many a chieftain. It was a good match for Pendragon, consolidating his power. But no matter what the girl looked like, or how much the marriage solidified his position, he knew Arthur didn't want her.

There was only one woman Arthur ever wanted to bed; he wondered what Leodegrance's daughter would think of that. He also wondered if she would be enough of a beauty to change Pendragon's mind. He doubted it.

As he urged his horse over another sodden ridge, the thought of Arthur with Morgana turned his stomach sour. Brothers and sisters should never engage in…well, that was not for him to say. Besides, Cameliard had finally come view. It was the promise of a hot bath and a hot meal, in what appeared to be less than a day's ride. It was the best news his muddy arse had had in a while.

HAFH: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

SLBB: This snippet is from Watch Over Me.

"Trying to blend in with the furnishings, Miss Granger?"

Hermione had wandered away from the kitchen at his insistence that she not help. She had been standing near a curtained window in the sitting room looking out into the garden while he put the final touches on their meal. She turned. Severus was approaching her with two glasses of champagne in hand and a grand smirk on his face.

"Perhaps a few Gryffindor red curtains around here might help you see me better, Professor."

"I'm afraid if you believe you will ever see red in this home, you are quite mistaken. Besides," he said, handing her a glass, "I never fail to notice you."

"So you've said," she replied with a smirk of her own.

"So I've said," he echoed, coming ever closer. "Let me also say that you look stunning this evening. Green is definitely your colour."

"Perhaps it is the dress that has charmed you. Not me."

"Perhaps the thing to do is remove your dress. Then we could test your theory. I say you will still be stunning with the dress on my floor." He pulled her into a breathless kiss. "However, I do enjoy seeing you wrapped in green," he murmured as he broke the kiss.

"Perhaps you would also enjoy seeing me wrapped in something else?" she whispered.

"I would…" He bent and kissed her neck. "And I have a suggestion for what that might be."

She closed her eyes. "I'm sure you do."

HAFH: Which fic has been the hardest to write?

SLBB: Technically speaking, Watch Over Me. When you write a time turner, you’re always thinking about continuity and Easter eggs. It can be exhausting. Exhausting but fun.

Emotionally speaking, however, Nightfall was the most difficult to write. There’s a scene in chapter one where Sev pulls Hermione outside and they have a short, difficult conversation on a stone bench. Let’s just say that I drew upon a real life experience to write it. And in, real life, my story didn’t turn out to be an HEA.

In general, it’s a challenge to write a Sevmione that is not a slow burn. How can you get those two together relatively quickly? What plot devices are plausible if you don’t want to write an epic? I think those are very interesting questions for Sevmione writers.

HAFH: Which fic has been the easiest to write?

SLBB: As far as my multi-chapter fics, To Dwell on Dreams was by far the easiest. I find one-shots to be easier overall: Perfume (only on ao3), A Promise Kept, and Naming Her Secrets, as examples, were all finished fairly quickly.

HAFH: What is your favorite story you have every written?

SLBB: That’s an incredibly hard question. I love all of them, for different reasons. I know what scenes within my stories are my favorites: the opening of Nightfall, Sev’s conversation with Myrddin (Merlin) in Once, Now, and Forevermore, and Sev’s argument with McGonagall in his kitchen in Watch Over Me. And I like how Perfume turned out, too.

Writing Process

HAFH: What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across?

SLBB: Don’t force yourself to write when you’re lacking inspiration. Don’t judge yourself by word count. (The story that Charles Dickens was paid by the word is a myth!) Before publishing, read your work in a different font, then read it out loud.

HAFH: What’s the worst writing advice you’ve ever come across?

SLBB: When inspiration is absent, just slug through it. Don’t use sentence fragments. Don’t start sentence with ‘and’ or ‘but’. Don’t use passive voice. Stick to the rules. *rolls eyes*

HAFH: Describe your perfect writing conditions.

SLBB: Absolute quiet, or complete chaos. I can’t write if the radio is playing or if I can hear someone talking. Put me in soundproof room or at a rave, and I can write. I guess I’m just a person of extremes.

HAFH: Do you use any tools, like worksheets or outlines?

SLBB: Depending on the story, I use MSWord or Scrivener for both outlines and copy text.

HAFH: Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

SLBB: Most of the time, I write out of order. I start with crafting the scenes I can see, and they don’t necessarily come to me from start to finish.

HAFH: Describe the process a chapter goes through before being posted.*

SLBB: Oh, my first draft of anything is complete and utter garbage. Truly. I edit the snot out of things before sending it to my beta so she doesn’t feel the need to bang her head against a keyboard while reading it. Before posting, I’ll let it sit a day or two without looking at it, then I’ll read it out loud to see if everything flows okay. .

HAFH: How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Care to share one of them?

SLBB: I’m feeding plunnies for several multi-chapter fics, including a marauder-era fic focused on a relationship between Lily and Sirius (que the Howlers). I’m also planning a crack!fic called ‘Accio Soulmate’ where the crew purposely feeds Rita Skeeter false leads for the gossip section of the Prophet. My next one-shot will be a little Sevmione time travel PWP piece, and it will have all the smuts. And I mean ALL the smuts.

HAFH: Would you ever kill off a canon character?

SLBB: Sure--I have already. Hermione dies in the first chapter of Sickness. But there are so many flashbacks in the story that I still feel like she’s part of it.

HAFH: Do you take liberties with canon or are you very strict about your fic being canon compliant?

SLBB: I’ve been both strict and liberal with canon. I wrote What Dumbledore Knew to be canon compliant. It’s the story of Sev and Lily’s relationship during the first war. My goal was for it to be a plausible explanation for what could have happened between them. I hope it accomplishes that.

I think just that fact that I write Sevmione means that I have no qualms about veering from canon! In Once, Now, and Forevermore, they’ve been reincarnated several times. Yeah. I know.

HAFH: Is there a character, book, scene, etc from canon (above all others) that inspires you?*

SLBB: There’s a scene in the DH movie when Severus has gathered the students is in the Great Hall and Harry shows up with the Order. As Sev and Minerva start to duel, not only does he refrain from attacking her (he only uses defensive spells), he takes out both the Carrows behind him right before he leaves. It’s a brilliant piece of story to add to the movie and gives us more of an insight into the complexities and motivations of Severus Snape.  

HAFH: Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to? Or one you never would want to write?

SLBB: Great question. I’d like to write a Sevmione MCL fic, and the plunnie is outlined--she’s just going to have to wait until Sickness is finished.

HAFH: Is writing your passion or a fun hobby?

SLBB: Both.

Revision

HAFH: If you were to revise one of your older fics from start to finish, which would it be and why?

SLBB: It would certainly be my first fic, What Dumbledore Knew. I naturally gravitate towards dialogue, and as a new writer, I’m sure I left out some descriptions that would have added depth to the story. It probably needs better scene transitions, as well.

HAFH: How do you feel about collaborations?

SLBB: I don’t think they are for me. I’m far too stubborn.

HAFH: What do you look for in a beta?

SLBB: Someone who won’t pull any punches--someone who will tell me where my story is boring, where it’s shite, where it’s good. Someone who will push me. I’m not afraid of good, constructive criticism from a beta.

My first beta contacted me on ff after reading What Dumbledore Knew and she pushed me--hard. She would send me links to writers blogs, suggest books to read, recommend fanfic...and we’d discuss what made the work great or not so great. She was fabulous. I guess I’m used to her method.

HAFH: Do you beta yourself? If so, what kind of beta are you?

SLBB: Oh, I’m the beta very few people want. Trust. If you need constcrit, I’m your beta. I will happily edit the crap outta something and push you to the next level--very kindly, positively, and with a ton of encouragement, of course. But I’m going to ask you tough, tough questions. Not many writers want that.

Works in Progress

HAFH: Talk about your current wips.

SLBB: Sickness is a Dramione, where Hermione dies a few years into their marriage, leaving Draco lost and unable to cope. Astoria arrives with a plan to save his sanity. I’m also in the middle of writing the epilogue for Once, Now, and Forevermore.

HAFH: Do you accept prompts?

SLBB: I haven’t yet. I have some awesome readers that tossed me ideas when Watch Over Me was in progress, and I incorporated as many of them as I thought would work with the flow of the story, but that’s the closest I’ve come to accepting one.

HAFH: Which is your favorite site to post fic?

SLBB: I post most stories to both ff net and ao3, but I really like ao3. I find the readers there tend to be very interactive, and I adore that.

HAFH: How do you feel about smut?

SLBB: *giggles* Oh, I love well-written smut more than anything. I love to read it. I love to write it.

HAFH: How do you deal with trigger warnings in your work?*

SLBB: I let my readers know what to expect in my a/n at the beginning of the work. Since some readers don’t look at the a/n, I’ll also warn my readers in a chapter note where the trigger appears.

Feedback

HAFH: What kind of feedback do you prefer?

SLBB: Well, I think any writer prefers positive, encouraging feedback. I’m happy to receive conscrit, too, since sometimes my readers can see things that I can’t.

HAFH: Is there anything that you particularly like or don’t like to see in a review?

SLBB: I don’t appreciate personal attacks. Criticize my fic if you feel the need to, but don’t attack me.

HAFH: Talk about a review that made your day.

SLBB: I have received a couple that have made me smile. One reader said Watch Over Me will be her “go to” fic from now on. That’s quite an honor.  

Here’s another one of my favorites:

“Ok. ok. Ok. I have read a lot of fanfiction- namely a lot of Snape/Hermione. This story has to be up there with my absolute favorites. Right up there with Care of Magical Creatures! I truly hope that whenever anyone, reader or writer- is on the hunt for a Severus/Hermione that story they come across this gorgeous one and take something from it they didn't have before, like I have. It was a privilege to have read this, I consider my eyes changed and my heart uplifted. Cheers!”

HAFH: Do you ever get rude reviews and how do you deal with them?

SLBB: I’ve gotten a couple. It’s the nature of putting your work out there, unfortunately. The first one I got was the worst, and it was pretty shocking...swearing and threats. Just awful. I was afraid to open emails from fanfic for a while.

Basically, the reader was angry that Severus still died in my canon-compliant story. After the shock of what he said wore off, I came to the conclusion that I had gotten the reader to fall in love with my version of Severus. I moved my reader to care, to become attached--and he got upset when the character met his fate.

Many thanks to Snapeslittleblackbuttons for taking the time out to answer all of our questions! Make sure to check her out here on tumblr, and on fanfiction.net! 

[ungarmax]

Straight up just A-Z, for fics of your choice. Or, whichever letters havent been asked when you get this

anon kept their word and asked literally every question.  LET’S SEE HERE.

A: How did you come up with the title to [insert fic]?

gonna talk about ‘the garden under snow,’ which is the best titled fic of anything i’ve ever written.

it’s story about edward elric, after the end of fma, when he’s just gotten married to winry, and they find out they’re expecting a baby.  ed is struggling with the fact that he doesn’t really have any good fatherly role models, and he wants to know what the answer is to being a good dad.  eventually, ed finds the answer himself when he finds some of hohenheim’s old things.

‘the garden under snow’ refers to a poem in a book i read.  in the book, the main character’s mother passes away, and she’s struggling with the fact that she doesn’t know how her mother felt about her.  while cleaning out the mother’s study, she finds a poem her mother had written about her -- about how she didn’t understand her daughter and didn’t know how to express how much she loved her.

i didn’t go into the story with the parallel in mind, so i felt very clever when i came up with it, even if it’s so incredibly obscure it’s not even funny.

B: Any of your stories inspired by personal experience?

when i was in high school, i wrote a stupid fic about the characters of fushigi yuugi working at my job. :p

C: What member do you identify with most?

i’m guessing this means character -- i’d say barry.  we are all love lup.

D: Is there a song or a playlist to associate with [insert fic]?

most of my fics have songs that inspire them, but most of the time, i tune everything out very succinctly when i’m writing, and the music i listen to is less mood and more blocking out other noises.

nothing gold has an entire playlist and it’s 100% pain.  i don’t have the original document anymore, sadly, but i could probably remember at least half the songs if pressed.

E: If you wrote a sequel to [insert fic], what would it be about?

this is a hard question. a lot of my fics are stand alone stories.  i’ve written some companion stuff for ‘alone among the wreck,’ just more snippets of cloud’s life, but that was specifically written because i hated cloud’s characterization in crisis core so much.  so i’m not sure how many people would want my bitter, pissed off cloud lol.

G: Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

in order, absolutely.  even if i meticulously plan a fic, stuff still happens that i don’t plan for, and it’s hard to account for that when skipping ahead.

J: Write or describe an alternative ending to [insert fic].

alternate ending to ‘burn the maps that chart your dreams’ : sollux and terezi take over the ship and hot rod around space together for a while.  sollux enjoys controlling a spaceship with his brain.  everyone is happy, except all the people who died earlier in the fic.

L: How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

there aren’t enough times in the world.  this is part of why i haven’t posted the mermaid au, even though the first chapter has been gone over 100 times.

N: Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you?

beauty and the beast au where taako is the beast.

O: How do you begin a story–with the plot, or the characters?

well, the beauty of fanfiction is that the characters are already there.  but i’m definitely a plot guy, even in my original writing.  this is probably one of the reasons i’m bad at ocs -- i make them to fill the story, rather than making a story for them.

P: Are you what George R. R. Martin would call an “architect” or a “gardener”? (How much do you plan in advance, versus letting the story unfold as you go?)

it depends.  little one shots, i’ll have a basic idea but i won’t outline or anything.  longer stuff, i might just be writing for the sake of writing, in which case, i won’t bother planning too much ahead.  if i want to finish it and post it or something, i’ll outline it.  but i do sometimes start a fic without finishing an outline, so...yeah.

Q: How do you feel about collaborations?

reading them?  if they’re done well, that’s great.  writing them?  i dunno, i’ve never tried.

V: If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

now there’s a loaded question.  kinda feels...disrespectful to do that?  i dunno.  i’d have to get permission first.

W: Do you like more general prompts, or more specific ones?

eh, i don’t really do prompts.  i can barely write my own ideas, much less anyone else’s.

Y: A character you want to protect.

i like making everyone suffer a little bit.  i guess angus?  angus doesn’t need to suffer.  he’s a kid.  i don’t want kids to suffer.