#He needed to be more impressive. more powerful. more loved by a multitude of characters.

[corellianhounds]

Amidala the Resilient

Media: Revenge of the Sith

Rating: T

Word Count: 3,942

Warnings: Canon-typical violence, pregnancy, Force-choking, blood and injuries, traumatic labor and delivery, death in childbirth, no happy ending.

Art Credit: Iain McCaig, The Art of Star Wars, Episode III: Revenge of the Sith

Summary: In a universe where Anakin gradually descended into the Dark side of his own volition from the beginning— where his ambition and love were genuine and admirable, but the temptation of power too much— his turn is something much more destructive and purposeful. Amidala’s plan for retaliation is just as much so.

Padmé Amidala can feel tension twinging in her back and thighs. The pit in her stomach has coalesced into a tight knot as she steels herself for what she must do, bringing a mattock and salt to the ground where pruning shears should have been used long ago.

Anakin had been too far gone for a long time, and the fault lay in her and everyone in his life willingly turning a blind eye too often to his myriad of faults. In the past two hours she has seen actions the result of which came from an upbringing where his temper, jealousy, and ambition were allowed to slide because those who thought him destined for some great cosmic good were willing to overlook occasional— and often objectively justified— acts of wrath and ruthlessness. He had always been so good at justifying his reasons and putting his actions in a more favorable light, showing enough willingness for correction over the years people thought he was receptive to guidance and change.

What she’d come to realize with dawning horror was that the seeds of destruction had been sown long ago, and though the vines had borne occasional good fruit, they had always grown with selfish intent, inevitably choking out everything around them in an effort to keep his own desires hidden behind the barrier of thorns.

In the next hour, she will come face to face with the monster of a man he’s become.

The Jedi master doesn’t know. Kenobi knows she has some plan but wrongfully assumes it is to appeal to whatever mistaken shred of humanity might remain in Anakin. Obi-Wan— even now, even after what they saw— cares for him as a brother and would sooner cut off his own hand than see Anakin completely lost to the Dark. Padmé however has finally seen clarity of purpose.

For Anakin to be stopped, he must be killed.

The ship arrives on Mustafar. Padmé wrenches herself away from the viewport as Obi-Wan lands and she gingerly lowers herself to the cargo hold, donning a cloak. Obi-Wan hurriedly finishes the landing cycle, calling her name as she gathers her strength, but she’s hardly listening to him at this point and she knows she must conceal herself from him so he has no chance of stopping her.

A hand on her shoulder makes her flinch, and the Jedi lets go almost in surprise. “Padmé, you don’t have to do this. I will talk to him.”

“No,” she says, keeping her left hand secured across her waist beneath the voluminous sleeve as she cleared a path to the lowering gangway. “He’s made it very clear he’s past the point of reasoning with the Jedi. I will speak with him, and if I cannot convince him to come with us calmly, or I cannot ascertain his next move, I expect you to do what’s necessary to end this treasonous rebellion. That is an order.”

It was all false diplomacy, of course, for his sake. Padmé had no intention of believing Anakin was anywhere close to the realm of negotiation. They were far past that.

But she needed assurance that she could get close enough to Anakin to act decisively. She couldn’t have Kenobi interfering, not at this juncture.

Oppressive heat surrounded her as she swept down the ramp to the barren ground. Magma roiled and churned, flames flickering at the edge of the peninsula as Padmé approached the figure so cloaked in darkness an aura of blackened energy almost seemed to emanate from his form. The grip of the hidden dagger dug into her hand, grounding her as she approached.

Padmé’s eyes burned with a ferocity to match her husband’s. It was time for this to end.

When Obi-Wan had seen her determination in the hold of the ship he had never for a moment anticipated what it would lead to.

Padmé steadily approached Anakin, cloak and hood protecting her from the blaze. He could see her speaking forcefully with him, her face hidden from view but Anakin’s darkening by the moment in response. His right hand, devoid of glove, clenched the hilt of an already ignited saber, the bloodshine blade standing in stark contrast to his own cloak. Its presence alone was alarming, but Obi-Wan had been subject to so many tragedies that night already, he merely assumed Anakin had readied it in the expectation of facing his master.

What Obi-Wan hadn’t known was what Padmé concealed until she tried to close the distance between them, her own blade in hand. What followed happened in the span of a heartbeat.

Anakin’s saber blocked it on instinct, easily halting the approach of Padmé’s dagger, his eyes widening in surprise. In the following moment his left hand raised and with it, so did Padmé.

Obi-Wan’s astonishment lasted only a fraction of a second as he yelled “NO!” Padmé’s feet left the ground as an invisible force clutched her neck in a crushing, intangible grip, and in the breadth of time Padmé scrabbled at her throat, Obi-Wan acted.

Anakin stumbled back from the force of the bolt hitting his shoulder, releasing his hold on Padmé. Padmé crumpled to the ground in a heap, and Anakin’s sights zeroed in on Kenobi, standing at the mouth of the ship with both blaster and lightsaber in hand. Snarling, Anakin stalked towards his old master and brought his lightsaber down, red clashing against blue.

Padmé Amidala, heartbroken and dying, drags herself bleeding to the communication console.

Kenobi can hear her movement in the bay and yells her name, telling her not to move, that he’ll come to help her as soon as the ship breaches the atmosphere, and she stalwartly ignores him, cradling the underside of her belly with one hand and using the other to support herself on the railing around the sparse artillery deck. Her broken ankle protests at every movement, sending lightning arcing up the leg where she puts her unsteady weight. The cramps in her abdomen spread like bone-coral, sharp and hot and agonizing in her pelvis, sides, back— Every tendon and muscle in her body screams at their owner to relent, to succumb to the creeping darkness pressing around her vision, but she cannot allow herself peace until she finishes what she started.

Padmé staggers at the ship’s turbulent acceleration, her forearm slamming out against the bulkhead as the lights flicker, and she curses the unsteady pilot she thought was her friend. Perhaps if she’d been accompanied by someone more decisive, someone whose fatal flaw wasn’t a love too great for a brother that no longer existed, Anakin would have been dealt with and she’d have the wherewithal to fight against the added pain of a labor she was sure would tear her in two.

Sweat pours from her brow and forces her already shaking, slippery hands to scrabble for purchase on the blasted polished finery of a spoiled noble’s ship. Her muscles spasm and she gasps in abject terror as she feels something inside her snap; the membrane within her had ruptured.

Gravity pulls on her bones as her muscles betray her, and she collapses against the bench. Fingernails scrape vinyl and she chokes out a guttural, rending cry of pain in the effort it takes to haul herself upward into the seat.

Obi-Wan is yelling again. Traitorous coward.

Padmé punches in the covert frequency on the transmitter. Her other hand rests on her stomach, her infants moving restlessly under her touch. She forces the hot flashes of pain back, shoving down every instinctive response to curl in on herself.

“Sabé—,” she says into the comm, gritting her teeth and tasting blood once more; the contractions were stronger and with a strangled grunt she yanks the comm closer, ignoring the frantic waves of worry rolling off of the useless Jedi in the pilot’s seat.

“Sabé, if you find the man who was my husband,” she chokes, the creeping black at the edges of her vision beginning to overtake her.

“Kill him.”

Obi-Wan sat listlessly on a bench in the hold, what bloodied clothing he still wore sticking to him like a second skin. His hand rested on the makeshift bassinet, a gun locker repurposed into a cradle.

He could only imagine what directive she’d felt necessary enough to strain herself to get across the sublight waves; he could only imagine because the message was encrypted and the recipient unknown, and her mind had been shielded from his probing. He didn’t know whether to blame his failed use of the Force on the heartbroken, distracted nature of his psyche being pulled in a thousand directions as he’d manually flown from Mustafar’s orbital pull in order to make the jump to lightspeed, or to blame some unknown energy stalwartly blocking him from Padmé’s mind. Reaching out to her had felt like hitting a steel wall.

The tumult of their departure had preoccupied him until he was sure he’d escaped whatever enemy fighters Anakin’s new master had sent after them, the maneuvering less of a dogfight and more of a half-cocked evasive prayer for the hull to remain intact long enough for them to break atmo. Klaxons blared and the astronav’s interface barked orders, warning him of too many systems he already knew were damaged enough that if they took even one more hit to the hull they would be obliterated; shields were failing, exterior panelling being shorn off, the pursuing fighters gaining on them— Until by some stroke of luck he’d found a slip in space to pull through and immediately jump to lightspeed.

Lightspeed jumps themselves were already hazardous to expecting parents’ health. He was terrified of the condition she had been in when he’d finally gotten her onboard, and the fact he could sense her moving with purpose somewhere below decks while he tried to shake the fighters had sent his heart rate skyrocketing.

Piloting had never been his forte. As soon as they’d hit hyperspace he’d slammed a hand against the autopilot controls and bolted from the dash, scrambling down to the hold below.

He swore under his breath, calling her name and skidding to a halt beside her. Her face twisted in agony, her hands clutching the underside of her abdomen. Obi-Wan knelt beside her, hesitant to move her and instead ran a quick check over her vitals, astonished at what he found.

Broken bones in her leg, fractured ribs, internal bleeding, damaged trachea— how had she even moved?! By all rights she should be dead and yet something had propped her up long enough for her to drag herself to the terminal and send a message.

And now she was in labor.

“Kenobi—” she spat derisively, grabbing his tunic. “Get— up—”

“Padmé, hold still, let me—”

He was cut off as a violent shudder wracked her body, her limbs curling in on herself with a gurgling cry. Panicked desperation lanced through him as he reached out and grasped tendrils of the Force, gingerly cradling her neck and attempting to delicately, swiftly mend ligaments he couldn’t see. If he was even a millimeter incorrect, she would die.

A misaligned vertebrae shifted back into place, and Padmé screamed.

Obi-Wan bit back a sob, carefully tracing his fingers on either side of the back of her neck with as much force as he dared in an attempt to still her and provide what pain relief he could as his own energy was leached from him. Padmé gasped, her eyes flying open, her expression stricken as she looked up at the ceiling. Her iron grip loosened as the tension dissipated, if only in one area. She gulped air as if coming up from the bottom of a lake, and Obi-Wan settled as he felt his strength wane. A concrete task was better than guesswork at unknown variables.

The reprieve didn’t last long; Padmé grunted in pain, convulsing as a contraction rippled through her torso again. Further assessment revealed her leggings and the floor beneath her to be drenched, and Obi-Wan’s panic flared again.

“I have to get you up—”

“If you move me I will kill you,” she spat harshly. She trembled despite the ferocity of her glare, her hand still twisted in his robe. “There is no time— Here and now, Kenobi. Make do.”

“Padmé—”

“Look around you,” she seethed. “There’s no level surface in this blasted ship big enough to work. There are no other choices. There is no one else to help. Sleeves up. Now.”

Kenobi’s brow remained twisted as he stripped off his outer tunic, knowing it was laden with silicate and volcanic dust. Padmé propped herself up on her elbows as he raced to scour his hands and forearms, coming back to remove her boots so he could work her outer garments free. Whether the blood seeping between her teeth was due to the injuries she’d sustained or because she was gritting them hard enough one had cracked, he didn’t know.

Padmé gasped again as the fracture in her shin shifted— He wanted to settle her, to fix this, but the contractions were coming more quickly and closer together. They were running out of time.

He finally seated himself before her, kneeling and shaking in just his undershirt and trousers, feeling acutely unprepared for what was to come. Battlefield triage and casualty care were the extent of his healing knowledge, and though he was adept at relieving or numbing acute nociceptive responses, it was usually with soldiers whose minds were open for him to assess areas of injury. A commander with a blaster burn would be focused on the point where his plastoid hadn’t covered. A civilian’s attention after suffering a fall would be turned to the joints and bones that took the brunt of the effects of gravity.

Labor and delivery were far too different from his experience in the medical field.

And Padmé was still blocking him out.

Her knuckles gripped bone-white to a ridge of floor plating, one knee bent and her foot planted flat. The other lay weakly to the side, and Obi-Wan grit his teeth as he raised it up to rest over his thigh despite the lancing pain he felt radiating from her, tucking a blanket beneath her and readying his hands for whatever instruction he prayed she could give. With him gathering his wits and her gathering her strength, they set to work.

The whole ordeal couldn’t have lasted longer than ten minutes, and it was the longest and most arduous process of their lives. Between her strangled cries, his intuition, and the muscle spasms that told him everything about this was wrong, Kenobi’s concern grew with the pool of blood beneath her, and she forced him to focus on the children, refusing to allow him any modicum of time spent healing her injuries between her screams. Untended bone cracked further as she thrashed, her screams echoing back in the cargo hold.

By the time Kenobi had swaddled the two squalling— living!— infants in what sterile dressing he could find from the field kit, Padmé had gone a sickly pale. Her skin was waxy under the recessed halogen lighting, her hair sticking to her forehead. Dark circles rimmed her eyes and different muscle groups continued twitching of their own accord as if sparked by electricity. Obi-Wan was torn between ensuring the infants had been properly cared for, and wanting to drag Padmé to the captain’s berth to fully assess her wounds and heal her: Padmé kept stubbornly shoving him away, tears tracking unnoticed down her face as she continued to choke out instructions for the care and keeping of her children.

He’d finally been forced to stop when that iron grip returned in full force— Padmé grabbed his arm and yanked him down to where she had propped herself up against the wall. Kenobi lurched forward, her ashen face now level with his. She forced her voice to obey despite the strain in her throat, rasping the words she needed to say.

“Keep them away from him.” The venom in her tone was undeniable. “You keep them safe, Kenobi, get— get them as far away as you can—”

Kenobi grunted, refusing to let her continue her orders. He pressed a palm to her chest, willing those wisps of energy to sustain her just a few moments longer as he tried to haul her up into his lap, coax her arm around him so he could lift her— If he could just get her somewhere comfortable, somewhere clean, if he could focus—

Padmé shrieked in pain, clawing at his chest and arms, and the sum of their separate fights came crashing down on him as the Force dissipated from his mind’s grasp. His knees gave out, his strength sapped from the energy he had poured into her, and they lay heavily back against the terminal yet again. The children cried distantly behind them.

“Padmé, please…” Obi-Wan pleaded, tears streaking down his face, but she shook her head yet again.

“Keep them safe,” she coughed, begging for the first time. “Get them away f-from—”

“He’s gone, Padmé, Anakin is gone—”

She shook her head fiercely, squeezing her eyes shut. “No. He’s there. I can feel him.”

“Listen to me— Anakin is dead, I saw him—”

“You’re wrong,” Padmé said. Her breath rattled. Tears dripped from her chin. “If— If you won’t k-kill him then t-take care o-of them. Wh-Whatever it takes.”

Her chest hitched as she gasped around the liquid filling her lungs. Her bloody hand trembled against his neck. She hiccuped, her eyes went glassy, and her hand fell away.

And in the stillness of hyperspace, Padmé Amidala Naberrie passed from one life to the next.

It had been an hour since then. Only an hour since Obi-Wan had had to keep himself from buckling under the weight of his grief, an hour since he’d sobbed on the floor of a ship as one of his oldest and dearest friends died in his arms. The former queen of Naboo, dying in the bloody cargo hold of a stolen ship, her own life stolen from her by the one person the two of them had trusted beyond measure while her infant children cried out for comfort he felt wholly incapable of providing. Obi-Wan wept alongside them, digging his fingers into the cold, unfeeling floor, wanting to scream as the agony of heartbreak threatened to overwhelm him.

So many dead, or lost. There was no solace even in the Force.

But as Obi-Wan Kenobi found himself doing so often in his life, he shoved his feelings down into the furthest recesses of his broken heart, let go of another loved one returned to the Force, and turned himself back to the task at hand.

The infants were asleep now. He’d shakily scrubbed at his face and arms with cold water and spared only enough time under the sanisteam to ensure he was clean enough to handle them before finding a spare undershirt for himself. He fed them, cleaned them up, and held both of them together against his chest as they squirmed, dissatisfied at their situation before accepting their present accommodations and falling asleep. By the ship’s chrono he had roughly two standard hours before the ship was due to drop out of hyperspace.

He sat unseeing in the captain’s berth with the ad hoc bassinet nearby. Padmé was still in the hold; he couldn’t be two places at once, and he couldn’t stay down there with the children.

Something bothered him about the infants in his arms, though. Once the girl had passed from Padmé’s body, it almost seemed like the barrier keeping him from sensing Padmé’s thoughts had broken. He was too drained and scattered to dwell on it as his last moments with her had been focused on her well-being, but despite his utter exhaustion he had a suspicion that had already begun to crystallize under the sheer openness of the twins’ young presences within hyperspace.

It troubled him.

Whatever message she’d sent was evidently received by the people she’d needed it to. Bail Organa met him at the hastily assembled but covert rendezvous, his ensuing shock and horror upon entering the ship’s docking ramp turning to commanding resolve as he followed the trail of destruction to Kenobi’s station. Organa had to shake him from his stupor before Obi-Wan could tell him of Mustafar, of the newly appointed Sith and Padmé’s scheme, and of Padmé’s last words. The senator’s brow furrowed. He knelt next to the Jedi, looking over the sleeping children.

“What of Anakin?”

Obi-Wan shook his head tiredly. “I cannot sense him. I don’t believe Anakin is alive.”

“… Who else did she contact?” Bail asked.

Tears dripped onto Obi-Wan’s shirt. “I don’t know.”

Bail sighed, bringing one hand up to rest on his shoulder. “I am truly sorry, Obi-Wan. For everything.”

Obi-Wan couldn’t respond.

Bail’s team, handpicked and vetted by the senator himself, worked below decks as the men weighed their options. The aftermath of the despotic coup was rippling out and changing by the minute; the Jedi had been slaughtered and scattered, the clones had broken all communication, and the Senate had reached a fever pitch of chaos. Anything that needed to be done had to be done now.

The feeling of loss that bordered on consuming him was one he’d rarely felt in his lifetime as acutely as he did now. The comfort he found in the Force was absent. He’d felt like a ship unmoored when his master was killed. Now it was as though he’d been dropped into the middle of a hurricane.

Bail’s hands were clasped loosely together against his forehead, elbows resting on his knees as he bowed his head in thought. Kenobi could have been a corpse for how still and gaunt he was.

“Obi-Wan…” Bail began. “Are you certain Skywalker is dead?”

“Yes,” Obi-Wan said. “I cannot sense him at all.”

Bail was quiet for a moment before he spoke again. “… But you, of all people, couldn’t sense what must have been growing within him. Is it at all possible the body of Anakin remains, but the reason you cannot find him is because the man we knew is entirely lost to the Dark?”

A chilling fissure of clarity cut through Obi-Wan’s senses. His reaction told Bail everything he needed to know.

Even if it was only a suspicion, they could not afford to waste time figuring out the emperor’s next move. Anything that could be used to motivate Vader had to be hidden from public knowledge. They couldn’t leave a trace of his past behind.

Bail mulled over his thoughts, then stood, gesturing for Kenobi as his resolve hardened to steel. “Come. We have work to do. We will mourn when we are done.”

Sabé trembled with the effort it took to control her breathing. She stowed her bag behind the seat of the starship and brought the engine to life, moving with purpose as tears streamed unbidden down her face.

The ship rose, coordinates locked in place to meet the others of her gathering retinue. These weren’t the orders of former nobility, of a governing senator— This was the last request of a dying friend, someone whose very existence was woven into her bones. Padmé Amidala’s death would not be in vain.

Sabé looked out beyond the stars, her breathing finding stasis despite the ocean of grief beneath it.

“My hands are yours, Padmé,” she said to herself. “For as long duty compels them.”

She wasn’t going to kill Anakin. Not until he felt every bit of the pain and suffering he deserved.

Notes:

The line “clarity of purpose” comes from Saw Gerrera in the Andor TV show

I wrote Sabé’s line before seeing that one similar was used in one of the books. Good to know I was on the right track with a character I know very little about lol

[mss-pit]

translation of voice actor interviews from Bravern BD

Translation of the cast interview featuring Suzuki Ryouta (Isami), Azakami Youhei (Smith), Suzumura Kenichi (Bravern), Aizawa Saya (Lulu) and Sugita Tomokazu (Superbia) from the special booklet included with the first BD release.

this is pretty long so I'm putting it behind a cut.

Suzuki Ryouta (Isami Ao):

Q: Tell us your impressions of the character you play.

You can tell by watching the first episode that I played him as someone who wordlessly takes on the burden of his superior's orders and crushes his enemies with his own power... a cool and stylish soldier. ...nah he wasn't like that at all, was he? During his first real battle, his hands were shaking and he acted like a coward without any courage, and he was forced to shoulder his fate as the pilot fighting against mysterious enemies that appeared all of a sudden. Fighting alongside Smith and Bravern, sometimes clashing with them, and gradually seeing his heart grow stronger, it felt like I too could have an explosion of courage along with him, making him a very fun character.

Q: Tell us about your favorite episode/scene/quote.

From episode one, the line “What the hell is this song!?!”. In the script I was just supposed to shout “Uaaaaaaah!”, but during voice recording I adlibbed my gut reaction to hearing the song. The director allowed my adlibbed line to be used, so it's a memorable quote to me. I also love the scene from episode eleven, where the four characters have a meal together. It is a mysterious scene where the atmosphere changes into that of a cooking manga (lol).

Q: Was there anything you were particularly conscious of when portraying this character?

I was conscious of expressing Isami as someone who is fundamentally a man of few words, with the austerity of a soldier who feels young yet mature. In the first half, my strong imrpression of him is that he is conflicted after meeting Bravern with how he doesn't want anyone to die but doesn't have the courage to fight. The boxing match with Smith allowed him to let out the weakness he'd been holding inside, and he was able to change his feelings into positive ones where he wants to fight alongside others without pressure. Even when he's conflicted, his comebacks are sharp, he is pretty scary when he gets angry, and he sheds tears when his companions fall... he is a character I portrayed expressing multitudes of human emotions.

Q: A message for fans.

Thank you for watching BBB until the end. In addition to hot blooded mecha fights, there are scenes that make you laugh, a little bit of sexiness, scenes that may make your eyes tear up, all sorts of fun things coming in a high tempo. It might be the kind of work where seeing Isami, who had no courage at all, gain it little by little through his battles, might give viewers that small first step as well. I am glad Bravern gave me the opportunity to play a mecha pilot protagonist for the first time. Thanks to all viewers and regards from here on.

Azakami Youhei (Lewis Smith)

Q: Tell us your impressions of the character you play.

At first we were not given a lot of character details. I attended the audition with a rough description of a “cheerful and macho solider”, but after reading the scripts and seeing his feelings for Isami and his fellow comrades, and how well he takes care of Lulu, he became a character I liked more the more I got to know about him. Almost as if he became like a “hero” to me. I think the comical atmosphere around him draw out his likable qualities. I tried my best to make his [English] pronunciation sound as native as possible. He was earnestly a very fun character to play.

Q: Tell us about your favorite episode/scene/quote

I really like the boxing episode between Isami and Smith. Like “we don't need words to communicate!” - it was a fun part to act with a mix of passionate fists meeting mixed with jokes. I think that's when they truly became friends so it's a part I particularly like. Also, it wasn't in the actual episodes, but in the preview for the first episode, Smith says the line “The wait's over, Isami!”. It is a line that has a bigger impact when you hear it again after knowing everything. Please listen to that line one more time!

Q: Was there anything you were particularly conscious of when portraying this character?

He may give off the strongest impression of being a bright and pleasant person, but his sometimes fragile expressions are memorable. He wants to be a hero, but the hero isn't him. That sense of failure he was carrying might have been the “shadow” side of this story. When recording his lines, more than getting across his “coolness”, I tried to get across the beliefs that were important to him, as well as that sense of being the “shadow”. On one side, he is the polar opposite of the cold Isami, but no matter how bad things make him look he doesn't waver in his own belief in justice. And for him, the “shadow” of failure turns into strength because of his strong convictions. I am happy thinking this power could connect him to becoming Bravern.

Q: A message for fans.

Thank you for supporting this work. This is the kind of story that makes you think “who is the protagonist?”, and people can come to different conclusions. Like Isami, who is forcibly made to be the hero and is dragged onto the stage and shouldered a huge burden without knowing why. Or like Smith who, faced with the reality of not being able to become what he wanted to be, was able to overcome that sense of failure. Or like Hibiki and Miyu who are able to make everyone happy by playing a supporting role. Or like King, who lets his personal feelings aside and becomes the one who makes the hard decisions. From all sorts of protagonist viewpoints, try watching the show thinking what sort of existence Bravern is to all of them.

Suzumura Kenichi (Bravern)

Q: Tell us your impressions of the character you play.

When I saw the design, I thought it was totally Bari-esque (lol). “This is it!” I cried out.

The more you see him face against other characters the more it becomes clear just how out of sync with everyone he is, which is funny, but I was also nervous how hit the subtle balance right each time. I played him like the kind of hero robot character I looked up to as a kid, which made me happy on a personal level. I portrayed him with all the expected qualities of a mecha anime, but being a lifetime otaku helped me a lot. I'm glad I like robots.

Q: Tell us about your favorite episode/scene/quote.

It was fun to put effort into voicing the special attack/fusion scenes. Obari-san has done continuous work on mecha anime, and has many peculiarities about how attack shouts should be voiced to the samllest detail, and recording while receiving those sessions was fun. I also got to voice the the hero character in the tokusatsu show Smith and Lulu were watching! Taking notes on how to voice live action-ish lines once again was very fun. When you know that Bravern was created from Smith's feelings, you can tell that the image of that hero character probably made a deep impression on a part of him.

Q: Was there anything you were particularly conscious of when portraying this character?

When the test recording of the first episode was done, Obari-san called for me and told me: “Bravern's real identity is Smith”. I was the only one who was told this. Because this was kept a secret from the other voice actors, it was hard to keep myself from telling everyone my real feelings (lol). Although I was cast through an audition, knowing this changed the entire plan of portraying the character. The way he interacts with Isami, the way he says his special attacks, how he uses his new powers... instead of voicing these lines in a straightforward manner, I played him as if it was actually Smith acting as a hero. After the reveal of his identity happens in the second half if the series, I played him as if he becomes stronger and more confidently hero-like.

Q: A message for fans.

This is a work you can enjoy from many different viewpoints. For a mecha-otaku like me it doesn't betray your expectations, and people who have never seen a mecha anime before can laugh and cry. It is a work full of elements that people can enjoy. There are lots of characters with their own charms, so I think everyone will find a favorite. If you watch the entire show from the beginning after the ending, you will be able to notice how everything was laid out! Please watch it around 100 times (lol).

Aizawa Saya (Lulu)

Q: Tell us your impressions of the character you play.

I took this role as a challenge, and she was a character who gave me a lot of challenges. I want people to understand her passionate courage by watching her introduction scene again after the last episode,

Q: Tell us about your favorite episode/scene/quote.

I like her relationship with Superbia. From their backstory, where he accepts her determination, to their present, where their feelings align and they take off together. Their gapigapi arguing was a good memory. And as an actor, getting to be a mecha pilot is a great treasure.

Q: Was there anything you were particularly conscious of when portraying this character?

In the beginning, she didn't even understand what language was and she didn't have a developed tongue. I payed attention to which words in the script would be difficult to pronunce. The subtle line of her not being able to communicate properly and words still having to be audible to viewers had to be tread carefully. Her state of growth from episode to episode was carefully maintained by consulting with Obari-san.

Q: A message for fans.

Thanks for supporting this passionate work. Make the courage hidden inside you burst forth!

Sugita Tomokazu (Superbia)

Q: Tell us your impressions of the character you play.

The word “bonds” can easily become trite when thrown around easily, but I felt that to Superbia, his bonds with others are precious to him. As comrades in arms, as ojisama, the future that comes forth must be bright.

Q: Tell us about your favorite episode/scene/quote.

I loved hearing so many good voices. The voice actors Obari-san chooses for this works never let you down, I thought. And it was exactly as I expected. Every episode my ears and heart were happy.

Q: Was there anything you were particularly conscious of when portraying this character?

The pronunciation of “Lulu”. The “Oh, has something changed here?” should be immediately obvious.

Q: A message for fans.

Brave! Bang! Shake hands with Superbia in his new form that's probably gonna come out! It's gonna be come out, right?

[that-ari-blogger]

Genuinely Impressive (Light Spinner)

The term "humanise" refers to a kind of anthropomorphising. To humanise is to give a thing human qualities like speech or pseudo-complex thought. For example, the transformers are humanised vehicles.

In a weird way, this is how humanisation in literature works. It is the practice of taking a fictional character, thing that is very much not a real human being, and giving them the complexity befitting a human.

Unfortunately, there is a pitfall to this practice. When writers try to humanise their characters, there is a tendency for these writers to accidentally redeem their characters in the process.

Disney's Maleficent and Cruella had a problem with this. While the later got retconned from megalomaniacal to empathetic, diminishing her villainy in the process, the former got turned into a full blown hero, a decision that I... actually liked.

She Ra and The Princesses of Power, however, truly excels at humanisation, and nowhere is this more apparent than in Light Spinner.

Let me explain.

SPOILERS AHEAD (She Ra and the Princesses Of Power)

I want to prefix all of this with the fact that humanisation to any degree is a really difficult writing skill. The idea is to engineer understanding, instead of empathy, and that is a deceptively hard balance to strike.

Making a character empathetic is easy, but it's a different skill entirely to know how much of that to do, and when.

In short, artists deserve credit for the tiny acts of brilliance just as much as for their feats of awe inspiring grandeur.

One thing that I noticed about this episode is that, to me at least, Light Spinner and Shadow Weaver are different people. Obviously they are the same individual, and there is some clear overlap between the two, but they feel like two different characters. As in, there are certain things that Light Spinner says that Shadow Weaver would never say, and vice versa.

This boils down to the idea of a character's centre. I have mentioned this before, but every character has a single element that is immutable about themselves, the thing that makes them who they are. If you would be to slowly change everything about this character, but leave this one element, they would still be the original person.

I think the difference between Light Spinner and Shadow Weaver is this centre. Shadow Weaver is cruel, and selfish, but Light Spinner strikes me as more ambitious and calculating. Obviously, there are shades of all of these in both characters, but these are the elements that are the most important to each person.

There is actually a moment in the episode where the characters switch, where Light Spinner is killed and Shadow Weaver remains, and that is in the ritual room. But to understand that, you need to understand the events leading up to it.

So, who is Light Spinner, and what elements of that are carried over into Shadow Weaver? Well, Light Spinner is ambitious, reckless, righteous, and... kind? I don't think kind is the right word, but maternal feels like a bridge too far.

Motivations are complex. Often, actions are performed for a multitude of reasons. My main reason for writing this blog, for example, is because I love She-Ra and stories like it. But I am also doing this because I need an outlet for creativity, and because I want to develop my own understanding of the writing craft. Complexity.

Light Spinner's dynamic with Micah is one of teacher and student, but there is obviously some affection there. Light Hope is amused by his antics, and pushes him to do better because she knows he can. She fuels his passion and it is clear he has a trust for her and feels safe in her presence.

However, there is also some of that ambition there. Light Spinner is written in this episode as a limit pusher who wants to do more and gain more power. It's heavily implied in this episode that she is using Micah for her own ends.

"You have incredible power. And I'm the one who will mould that power."

So, we can add megalomania to Light Spinner's list of attributes as well.

On a side note, the oracle spell things have some of the best camera placement and shot composition in the entire series. So whomever is in charge of that in universe is the most skilled cinematographer on the planet.

I want to point out Light Spinner's motivation here. She wants to protect Etheria from the Horde. This is partly why I think she and Shadow Weaver are so different, because Light Spinner would never switch sides like she does, because she wants to save the world.

"Norwyn and those fools don't care about magic, they just want to hold the rest of us back."

Forgive me, but that wasn't the point of the spell. That wasn't a discussion about magic, it was a discussion about people's lives. Light Spinner has taken the complete opposite memo as everybody else.

This is where the megalomania fits in. Because Light Spinner wants to be in command, she wants to be a hero, and she wants control, as well as saving Etheria. The shift in character comes when that ambition supersedes her more benevolent motivations.

Can we please take a moment to acknowledge how incredible this shot is. Light Hope is framed against the oracle spell, backlit and viewed from below like she's a ruler speaking from on high. The circle around her head mirrors the halo around the heads of saints found in stained glass windows. Light Hope views herself as a messiah figure.

But look at what that halo is showing. Light Hope is divinely surrounded by death and destruction, and the loss of the black garnet. Even now, Light Hope's greatest weapon is her radius of fear.

I also think props need to be given to this shot, with all of its complete lack of subtlety. Light Hope seeks power, and she seeks the spell as an means of achieving that, so the spell covers her eyes, blinding her to reality.

"We need this power. It's the only way to protect our people."

Here's a question: Is this the only way? Light Spinner certainly tells us that, but we haven't seen any other ideas. The guild was meeting to decide what to do, and Light Spinner interrupted it, then stormed out. So maybe they decided on something better and safer.

She-Ra has another "it's the only way" decision, later on in the series, that being the planet destroyer that the first ones set up. Shadow Weaver jumps on that idea as well, but its notable that in both cases, there actually is another way to defeat the horde, and it didn't compromise the morals or physical wellbeing of its participants.

The golden rule in storytelling is "Show, don't tell", and this is a case for why I disagree with it. Showing an audience something makes them believe it, telling them something makes them skeptical. If you keep telling an audience something, but never actually show it, you can end up with a distrust for the narrator, and that is used very intentionally here.

Light Spinner tells the audience over and over again how good this will be, but we never see that good. We actually see the opposite.

Consider this: The Horde, over the next however many years, makes very little ground, and that is mostly due to Shadow Weaver's assistance. So maybe if she did the princesses, or if she hadn't absolutely shredded the mages of Mystacor, things could have gone better.

Which leads into the final domino that is set up for Light Spinner to change. Trust.

The mages of Mystacor do not trust Light Spinner's judgement, which leads to her believing her actions are futile for getting the admiration and respect that she "deserves".

Enter the Spell of Obtainment. And as a general rule, if you are in a fantasy story and you start conjuring something with too many arms and eyes, you are probably doing something wrong.

Also, this guy is dead, ponked into non-existence. A man dies, on camera, in a children's cartoon.

It is important to understand that this is a memory, and so the narrator is unreliable. From that perspective, Light Spinner was betrayed by Micah, and by the guild masters, and it got her killed.

But let's also look at what the spell would have done. Light Spinner insists that it would win the war, but doesn't reveal its actual capabilities. I think, judging from what the failure did, it would have focused power in on a single individual or two.

I think Light Spinner's idea of the ultimate spell was one that bolstered her abilities and made her into a super soldier.

So, Light Spinner died because of her megalomania and ambition. She wanted to be the one to save the world, and it cost her. People backed away because she pushed them too far, and she can't see that.

The person that emerges from the cosmic horror bubble is Shadow Weaver, and the first thing she does is kill someone, then bail and switch sides. The power is now more important to her than what she wanted to use it for.

The final scene of the flashback is the adoption of Adora, and it does a few things. First up, Adora gets thrown into Shadow Weaver's care against the latter's will, and one of Shadow Weaver's first lines in the entire series is this:

"I saw talent in you the moment I found you as an orphan child and took you in."

So... that was a lie, wasn't it?

But the scene also shows a hint of Light Spinner peeking through, because I think there is something maternal there, and it is entirely separate from kindness.

One of the theses of She-Ra is that there is a bit of good, however small, in everyone. And the point of this episode is that Shadow Weaver once had it, and may still have it, but has made the choice to do evil. Villainy is very much a decision in this world, you don't get born into one side, you make your own choice.

That's something that keeps coming up, especially with Catra.

Speaking of whom, there is a reason I have separated Light Spinner from Shadow Weaver.

"You remind me of myself. You always have. Nothing was ever easy for me either. I wasn't born to power like Adora and the others. I had to earn my power, fight for it. Why should it be any different for you?"

There is some narrative parallelism going on in this episode, but it is specifically not between Catra and Shadow Weaver, but Catra and Light Spinner.

Both characters are seeking respect, and find that taken out from under them, and both push their closest friends away. The stories are extremely similar, but there are two things to dispute about this idea.

First up, Shadow Weaver is doing some heavy projecting here. Once again, this is her memory, so the narration should be taken with a grain of sand. She was also trying to do something forbidden, while Catra is trying to follow orders to the best of her ability.

Second, Light Hope wasn't abused by the mages of Mystacor. Well, I guess she could have been, but it isn't even implied that this is the case, so do with that what you will.

I think Catra puts it best:

"I was a child when you took me in. What could I have possibly done to deserve the way you treated me?"

She-Ra as a whole does not shy away from discussion of the cycle of violence, and it is worth noting that Shadow Weaver perceives injustice directed at herself, and believes it is perfectly reasonable to take that out on a child. Yes, Hordak did probably use that anti-oxygen device on Shadow Weaver at some point, but she then made the decision to use that anger to bully a child.

Shadow Weaver's treatment of Catra in this episode is pure manipulation. There are hints of that maternal element, but they are being used to lull Catra into a false sense of security. She is falsely giving Catra affection to service her own needs. Notably, through the use of her touch, Shadow Weaver exhibits control over Catra's emotions.

AJ Michalka needs so much more credit than she has for her voice acting than she has received, especially in this episode. Catra's increasingly frantic pleas are so incredibly well realised, and the last scene of the empty jail cell is carried entirely by her acting.

This episode adds a ton of ambiguity to Shadow Weaver, as well as providing depth to her character. But it makes one thing abundantly clear:

As justified as you think your methods are, you are still responsible for the actions of cruelty that you chose to take.

Catra is close enough to Light Hope for the end result to be reasonably likely. Shadow Weaver is what Catra will become, if she does not stray from the path she currently walks.

That's why Catra's redemption arc is so compelling to me, because we know what is at stake. We know where that path leads.

Old. Bitter. Weak.

Final Thoughts

This episode is a technical masterpiece. The first rule of literary analysis is "don't compare a story to food or architecture", but I'm going to do that anyway.

The rest of She-Ra has a habit of prioritising the big spectacles and feats of brilliance. Each episode is a fully made cathedral with stained glass windows and a mosaic ceiling. This episode isn't that it's an incredibly well-designed fountain in a park, dedicated to an old friend. It is emotional and heart-felt, and mechanically superb.

Next week, I will be analysing Reunion, so stick around if that interests you.

Previous - Next

[sophieswundergarten]

There's something so wonderful about how Reynie is considered "average". Especially to an outside viewer, he's "the normal one". He doesn't have an eidetic memory, or impressive physical capabilities, or psychic powers. He's just Reynie.

He's bad at jokes and he panics a little when he's put on the spot and he likes cheesecake (for some reason) and he relies on his friends and he makes hard decisions but he doesn't trust himself.

Anyone looking at him for the cursory five seconds would see a "normal" child. A boring one. The singular fluke in Mr. Benedict's quartet of extraordinarily gifted children.

And, he is.

Not in the way that the imaginary observer would assume, but Reynie certainly is all of those things. He isn't especially strong, or academically talented, or uniquely stubborn. He is who he is, and that's part of why he's such a good character. Because he is the mediator, the one who does his best to stay levelheaded when his friends need him, and because he needs them. He is the point of view character, and so we know exactly how much he depends on his family.

But the absolutely wild thing about Reynie, the insane, extraordinary thing, is that he's all that and so much more. He's brave and he's clever and he is a skilled leader and he loves his friends. It's like looking into a piece of crystal; deceptively calm, flat, and just reflecting what's around him. But, on closer inspection, he is full of facets and depth and inclusions that have been imparted to him from those he loves. He contains multitudes, and while some of that is definitely what people see on the surface, someone who stops at that couldn't be more wrong

[the-travelling-witch]

𝐎𝐁𝐄𝐘 𝐌𝐄! 𝐎𝐂: 𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐎𝐍

Name: Dantalion

Occupation: Owner of Majolish and Chief Editor of "Devil Style"

a/n: i had so much fun coming up with this character, so feel free to come talk to or ask me about him!! i might even feature him more often on my blog from now on (again, i had fun and am low-key in love jshsh)

obey me! masterlist

The owner of Majolish and chief editor of “Devil Style”, a pride demon of shapeshifter nature. Asmodeus is not only his best customer but also a very good friend, a relationship that has been established through millennia of interactions and shared interests. As such, Asmo receives special treatment in form of deals and early access to new releases he then promotes on his social media. Sitting in on one of their private conversations would open a whole new world of gossip and make one look at a multitude of demons, angels and humans in a completely different light.

Dantalion has had many faces over the course of his long life, able to present himself in the shape of any man, woman or anything that lies within and outside of the spectrum. Still, he doesn’t make this ability widely known, sticking to his “original” appearance and only tweaking aspects that others can also change easily, like hair colour or length. So, he usually presents himself as a tall young man with lightly tanned skin; poised, regal and dressed in a glamorous manner.

His often billowy clothes flutter with every step, as if a light breeze is always blowing to flaunt the pattern of his silk blouse or ruffle through his perfectly maintained hair. Paired with the light reflecting off his complimentary jewellery and the subtle scent of his cologne in the air, Dantalion is sure to capture the attention of everyone when he steps into a room. With an appearance like his, he could certainly model for “Devil Style” and he has done so on occasion.

Speaking of work, the demon is a perfectionist in everything he does. He prides himself in the quality of his products, the aesthetic of his store, his top-notch customer service; he’d be damned if somebody left Majolish unsatisfied. In his eyes, it’s not just shopping, entering his store should feel like entering a world where there’s no need to worry or stress, where you can elevate yourself to the best version of yourself. With this high standard in mind, it’s no surprise that he oversees all aspects of the brand before they’re launched, from goods, advertisement, social media down to the latest issue of the magazine.

His demon form, much like that of the avatar of his sin, resembles that of a human world peacock. But instead of feathered wings, Dantalion parades around an impressive set of tail feathers. Naturally, he takes as much care of them as of the rest of his appearance, if not more, so they shine with every little motion he makes. His feathers tend to be folded into a regal train sweeping behind him, adding a show-stopping layer to his clothes, but he can unfold and open them into a wheel behind him if he feels like it.

Just like in his “normal” form, Dantalion’s demon form gleams from head to toe with accessories. From his horns to his fingers, which are stained the same colour as his claws, he wears the most precious jewels and metals he can find. Although he doesn’t have wings, his demon form clothes are generally backless, showing off his flawless skin and the soft feathers where his skin fades into his colourful tail.

However, there’s another power he conceals even better than his shapeshifting abilities. With just a glance, he can read a person’s mind and influence their thoughts, often by showing them visions. Considering his business, he tends to use those powers to ascertain what his customers are looking for or showing them flattering images of wearing certain clothing if they’re unsure about a purchase. This is equal parts to increase sales and a genuine want for his customers to gain confidence in their appearance, which in return feeds into his demonic nature.

To shield himself and others from reading their minds willy-nilly, Dantalion wears shades most of the time and has an extensive collection of them in all shapes, sizes and colours to always perfectly match his outfit. The demon prefers shades that don’t completely obscure his eyes, because their mesmerising kaleidoscopic heterochromia is just another detail of his which draws people in. Besides that, he also thinks colourful glasses shaped like hearts, clouds, stars and the likes are just more fun.

© the-travelling-witch 2023 - do not repost, translate, copy or edit

if you like my content, reblogs, comments and asks are always much appreciated ♡

[yhwhrulz]

Morning and Evening with A.W. Tozer Devotional for November 8

Tozer in the Morning Overflowing Hope

So strong, so beautiful is hope that it is scarcely possible to overpraise it. It is the divine alchemy that transmutes the base metal of adversity into gold. In the midst of death Paul could be bold and buoyant because he had firm confidence in the final outcome. "For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake," he said, but his heart remained cheerful knowing that "our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all" (2 Corinthians 4:11,17 ). His lovely little benediction pronounced over the Roman Christians shows how faith and peace and joy live with hope like four fair sisters dwelling in the same cottage: "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spir it" (Romans 15:13).

Faith is confidence in the character of God, and hope is the sweet anticipation of desirable things promised but not yet realized. Hope is an electronic beam on which the Christian flies through wind and storm straight to his desired haven. To the child of God, hope is a gift from the heavenly Father "who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope" (2 Thessalonians 2:16).

The Christian's hope is sound because it is founded upon the character of God and the redeeming work of His Son Jesus Christ. For this reason Peter could call it "a living hope" (1 Peter 1:3). It is living because it rests on reality and not on fancy. It is not wishful dreaming but vital expectation with the whole might of the Most High behind it.

Tozer in the Evening The Psychology of Impermanence

Time may show that one of the greatest weaknesses in our modern civilization has been the acceptance of quantity rather than quality as the goal after which to strive. This is particularly evident in the United States. Costly buildings are constantly being erected with no expectation that they shall last more than one short generation. . . . Not only in our architecture but almost everywhere else is this psychology of impermanence found. A beauty salon ad recently defined a term which has long needed clarification. It read: "Permanent Waves. Guaranteed to last three months." So, permanence is the quality of lasting three months! These may be extreme cases, but they illustrate the transiency of men's hopes and the brevity of their dreams apart from God. The church also is suffering from a left-handed acceptance of this philosophy of impermanence. Christianity is resting under the blight of degraded values. And it all stems from a too-eager desire to impress, to gain fleeting attention, to appear well in comparison with some world-beater who happens for the time to have the ear or the eye of the public. This is so foreign to the Scriptures that we wonder how Bible-loving Christians can be deceived by it. The Word of God ignores size and quantity and lays all its stress upon quality. Christ, more than any other man, was followed by the crowds, yet after giving them such help as they were able to receive, He quietly turned from them and deposited His enduring truths in the breasts of His chosen 12. He refused a quick shortcut to the throne and chose instead the long painful way of the cross. He rejected the offers of the multitude and rested His success upon those eternal qualities which He was able to plant in the hearts of a modest number of redeemed men. The ages have thanked God that He did.

Copyright Statement This material is considered in the public domain.

[minty-mumbles]

Here There Be Monsters: Time

@hyrules-feral-hero asked for information on the characters in HTBM, so I figured I would put together actual character sheets!

I'm also going to do lore dumps on the different species. Here's the one to go along with Time: Gods

Read on AO3

~~~

Time Lonlon

Species: God of time and battle. He and Malon are also jointly the Gods of familial love (specifically parental) 

Physical/Mental Age: ~35, though he can change his age at will, he prefers this form (Malon is about the same age)

Actual Age: As old as the concept of time itself. He’s had his physical form for much less time, but still millennia. 

Gender/Pronouns: Gods don’t do gender. The form he’s chosen to take makes people assume he’s a man, so that’s what he uses for his documents, etc. He is fine with any pronouns, but most people use He/Him. If he were going to choose different pronouns though, he might go with It/Its or They/Them. Doesn't care enough about it to do so, though.

Sexuality: He is a god, and as such, is not attracted to mortals. He can view people’s magical auras or whatever, and that’s more what he’s attracted to, so he would never be attracted to a mortal. Gods don’t have gender so the concept of different sexualities, besides Aro/Ace, is not applicable. Kind of an all-or-none situation.

Physical Appearance Notes: He does have the Fierce Deity markings. They appear to be normal tattoos. He also has the scar over his eye, but it’s very subtle, and hard to notice. His right eye is entirely white, but he often either keeps it closed or uses contacts to look more normal while out in public.

Family/Friends: 

Malon: That’s his wife!! Yeah! She is the God of farming, horses, and parental love.

Lullaby: The God of music. They’re good friends. They met when Time was playing in the Lost Woods, and Lullaby heard the music, and was impressed.

Fierce Deity: The God of War and battles. Time was friends with him when he was younger. Soldiers and fighters often prayed to Time on the battlefield for more time: time enough to escape death, time enough to defeat their enemies, or simply more time to live. That’s how the two met. Time eventually felt that the Fierce Deity was becoming too corrupted, and challenged him. Their friendship ended when Time won some of the Fierce Deity’s power from him in a duel, and trapped the other god inside of a mask. This is how Time gained his title as the God of Battle. 

Saria: A Kokiri, species of semi-immortal forest spirits that thrive under the protection of the Great Deku Tree. When Time originally made a mortal form for himself, he appeared among the Kokiri, as one of them. Saria was a guiding force for him during that time, helping him adjust to being in a physical form.

Great Deku Tree: God of forests and safe havens. Not as old as Time, but has had a physical form for much longer. He is considered very wise by those who know of him. Acted as a sort of father figure to Time when he first gained physical form. 

Epona: A regular horse, mostly. Except for the fact that she keeps being reincarnated

Job: He’s old money. He inherited a big ass mansion and a ton of money from his “father,” who was also himself. He comes from a long line of investors/wealthy men, but in reality, all of his ancestors were also him, and he just forges new documents for a “son” every time his fake identity starts getting too old. Despite not needing money, he works at Malon’s ranch in his spare time. 

Schooling: He has several degrees, and keeps going back to school whenever he feels like it. Many music degrees, and several in history and other subjects. He got one in business to help Malon with her farm.

Residency: He owns a mansion, but spends half his time at Malon’s ranch. He’s offered each of his boys a room in his house, which comes with protection, and is rent-free. Most of them don’t live with him full time, but he still keeps their rooms for them, in case they drop by.

Other:

Time knows how to play a great multitude of instruments. He likes to compose songs in his free time, both non-magical songs, and magical songs. Many of the songs such as the Song of Healing, or the Song of Storms, have magical properties, because his friend Lullaby, God of music, decided they would after he played the song to them, because they liked it so much.

He knows how to speak many different languages. Kokiri was the first one he learned when he took on a physical vessel.

Takes on a new identity every few decades or so, to hide the fact that he isn't aging. Usually just pretends he's the son of his previous identity.

Goes by the name Time because he thinks it's funny. Also there are people running around with names like Wind, so it's not that out of place.

Summary of Past: 

Time is very old. Even he doesn't know how old he is, but he is older than many other Gods. He didn’t decide to take on a physical form for a long time though, so although he is very old, he hasn’t had a physical vessel for very long, compared to other Gods. The memories of before he took on a physical form are hazy to him.

Before he took on a physical form, he became friends with the Fierce deity, the God of war and battle. Time kept going to battlefields to answer the prayers of soldiers, which is how he met him. The Fierce Deity did have a humanoid physical form at that time, and often appeared on the battlefield to cause indiscriminate chaos and death on both sides. Time disapproved of this, but overlooked it for a long time. It was only after The Fierce Deity attacked a town and killed everyone. Time challenged the Fierce Deity to a duel over it. Time won the duel. As the victor, he claimed the title of God of battles, and some of the Fierce Deity's power. Time trapped the god in the form of a mask. He keeps a close eye on the mask, and locked securely away in his house.

Malon and Time knew of each other for a long time, although they had never personally met. Malon wasn’t really interested in him, as he didn't have anything to do with her realm of influence. Time was a wanderer, never settling down anywhere, because he saw no need to. One day he came across Lon Lon Ranch, and settled in to rest in one of the fields. A horse found him, and wouldn’t leave him alone. He grew fond of the horse over the hours he s[ent resting there, so he came back the next day, and the next.

Eventually, he went to introduce himself to Malon. They had known the other God was there, but neither had seen the need to meet. Malon had figured he meant no harm, although she hadn’t known what he was doing there. Then he walked up to her one day in the fields with one of Malon’s mares trailing after him, chewing on his hair. He asked her if he could buy the horse from her, and she agreed. 

However, Time didn’t have a place to live, as he was a wanderer, so he asked her to keep Epona while he looked for a house. He kept coming back, at first only to visit his horse, and then also to visit Malon. He never did find a home where he could keep Epona, but neither of them mind. It gives him a reason to keep coming back. After a long time, the two decided to be married. Of course, they couldn't do it the mortal way, as that would leave too much of a paper trail, and they would have to get remarried every time they got new identities. So they had a small ceremony with their friends. After this, they became the joint Gods of parental love.They don’t live together- Time has his mansion, and Malon has the ranch- but they see each other often. Time works there, helping Malon out. Recently, Time has started befriending some people who have most definitely not become his kids. Malon only laughed when she heard that, as she figured with titles like Gods of parental love, it was only a matter of time before they picked up some strays.

[peterneptune16]

Why I love RoseGarden (Full Essay[?, Idk what to call it])

Reason 1: How They Support Each Other

Okay so this is probably the biggest part of this all but I really wanted to talk about this because- Oscar and Ruby have supported each other A LOT, so of course this gonna be the 1st reason I discuss, but enough of my rambling, onto the reasoning:

Let’s take a look at the past 4 Volumes real quick and do an alaysis of 7 scenes in particular

-Volume 5-

Scene 1: Dojo Scene (V5 Ep5)

In the scene that all RoseGarden fans, including myself, love so much. We have Ruby comforting Oscar and being there by his side to give him support and encouragement to keep pressing onwards, to keep going on cause he will get stronger and that just by being there, it already says alot about him. This shows that Ruby does believe in Oscar and knows he can do this, he just needs a little help along the way. A little push.

Scene 2: Ruby is Hurt Scene (V5 Ep12)

In this scene that all RoseGarden fans ALSO love, Oscar immediately rushes to Ruby’s side whenever she is hurt by Emerald and knocked down. Kneeling down and encouraging her to get back up and keep fighting, telling her that they need her. This shows that Oscar has already developed pretty strong feelings for Ruby atleast as a friend by this point in time, despite them not knowing each other for very long.

-Volume 6-

Scene 1: Ruby reassuring Oscar (V6 Ep4)

In this fairly short scene, we see Ruby return Oscar’s cane back to him and comfort him after what just happened with Jinn. When Oscar asks her if he is just another one of Ozma’s lives, Ruby is quick to reply saying that he isn’t, that he is his own person. Even putting her other hand ontop of his, showing that she does genuinely care for Oscar and doesn’t want him thinking that he doesn’t matter, that he’s not just another Ozma, that he’s Oscar Pine and that wasn’t changing.

Scene 2: Oscar reassuring Ruby (V6 Ep10)

In this also fairly short scene, we see Ruby looking doubtful about the whole plan she has involving Cordovin’s Mech. Obviously having a hard time believing that it’ll work out, to which Oscar steps in and reassures her that it will work. His confident smile during this all, shows that he does believe in the plan and isnt just saying he does for Ruby too feel better, but that he trusts her and knows that it’ll all work under her leadership.

-Volume 7-

Scene 1: Ruby trusts Oscar to keep the lamp safe (V7 Ep3)

In this scene, which is somewhat short, Ruby hands the lamp off to Oscar, cause she is going down to the Tundra. She knows that Oscar will keep the lamp safe and out of the wrong hands while in Atlas, which he does, all the way until he ends up getting ambushed by Neo and the lamp is stolen. (Not focusing on the Oscar side of this scene here, but we will discuss that in the next scene analysis) The fact Ruby shows no restraint when handing the lamp off to Oscar, despite the fact Ozpin is in his head and could return any minute for all they know, shows that she really does trust Oscar as Oscar. She knows that he knows the right thing to do and isn’t worried about what choices he’ll make.

Scene 2: Oscar takes the burden off Ruby’s shoulders (V7 Ep9)

In this scene, which gets build up in the previous scene with Oscar asking Ruby if hiding Oz’s secrets from Ironwood was a good move or not, we see Ruby and Oscar, very nervously, talking about how they feel about telling Ironwood. In which they both reveal that they both think they should tell Ironwood. Which I think is all well and good, and really cute, but I’m more focused on what comes after. Ruby says that she’ll tell Ironwood what Jinn told them, but upon seeing she is needed elsewhere, Oscar immediately steps up to take on the burden of telling Ironwood what Oz was hiding, no matter what Ironwood’s reaction would be. He is willing to take this huge burden off of Ruby’s shoulders because she needs to do something even more important at the moment, and he doesn’t wanna hold her back from doing it. Despite how Ironwood may react, Oscar shows no fear or hesitation and is more than willing to do this for Ruby, in place of her.

-Volume 8-

Scene 1: Ruby going to find Oscar (V8 Ep1)

In this scene, which is an absolute gold mine for all us RoseGarden shippers, a good amount goes on. First off, Ruby goes out to find Oscar, though she likely is unsure if he is even alive, and eventually does find him. When she does, she is visibly very happy too see him again, alive and somewhat well. Oscar and Ruby are then seemingly talking about what happened in Atlas, with Oscar claiming that every choice he made was the wrong one. She then reassures him that he just did what he thought was right, that they all did, and that she is just glad to see him alright. Too which he blushes upon being touched by her and told that (Boy definitely crushing but more on that later). This whole scene was just really cute and wholesome too see how Ruby does care about Oscar alot, and that she is happy too see him alright. Which is really just- pure. While also reassuring him that he isn’t too blame for all that happened, that he can’t be beating himself up over this all and it isn’t his fault.

So basically, I just like too see these scenes because they show that the two have alot of trust in each other, and are always there to reassure each other through anything, that they’re there for each other, and are always a support for one another. That one can always lean on the other for support if needed, they’ll be their rock. Also if the pattern keeps up, possibly another Oscar supporting Ruby scene coming this volume! Cause those are always in the later half of the volumes, while the Ruby ones are always in the earlier halves.

Reason 2: How They Inspire Each Other

How Oscar inspires Ruby: While he may not inspire her as much as she inspires him, Oscar still does inspire Ruby in a few ways. She seems to be genuinely impressed with how he handles things despite being so young. Like when he successfully lands the airship despite being just a fourteen year old farm hand. She seemed geniunely surprised and impressed, and this probably isn’t the only time he has made her feel that way, so it seems safe to say that Oscar in some way does inspire Ruby.

How Ruby inspires Oscar: Ruby inspires Oscar in a whole multitude of ways. Ruby is the inspiration that gave Oscar a reason to keep pressing on and keep fighting despite everything, despite how scared he was. She made him realize his true inner strength and bravery, made him realize that he can do this. After that talk she had with him in Volume 5, he seemed much more confident and ready for the road ahead. She also inspired him to see himself as more than just the next Ozpin in Volume 6, or atleast, tried too. It was hard with how much others were kind of holding him back from doing so due to their frustrations with Ozpin at the moment, but It seems Ruby was in some way able to help Oscar realize that he is more than just Ozpin part 2.

Reason 3: Oscar’s (Hinted at) True Feelings

Something that was pretty much confirmed this volume is that Oscar does have some deeper feelings towards Ruby, most likely a crush, whenever he blushes at her just putting her hand on his shoulder and saying that she is glad too see him alright.

But this was not the first hint that Oscar may have some feelings towards Ruby, as there have been a few sprinkled throughout the series if you look close enough. Which is something that I really like about this ship, there have been small subtle hints too it for a while now, in reality, since the very beginning. When Oscar first even meets Ruby, the first thing he seems to notice about her is her eyes, and says the quote “You have silver eyes” but the way he says it and the look on his face, gives more the impression of him finding them unique and beautiful, rather than a source of power like most other people would. (A girls eyes are also often one of the first few things a guy notices about her and finds attractive, which seems to be the case here for the young pine tree)

There was another moment when they first met that also gives the impression Oscar may have started having some sort of feelings for her right off the bat, keep in mind though, I’m not saying this was a crush just yet, rather he just found her pretty and/or attractive in some way. This was that whenever the two first met and Oscar saw Ruby smile and giggle, he immediately blushed and became a little bit nervous around her in an adorkable way. (A smile is often another thing a guy first notices about a girl he finds attractive, as is her laugh)

Another thing I wanna mention is that he almost always looks at Ruby whenever the two of them are in a room together, she doesn’t even have to be saying or doing anything and his eyes will still drift towards Ruby without fail. Which could just be a cute subtle way of showing his growing emotions towards Ruby as the series progresses. And if he ever sees her in any sign of danger he is always quick to call out her name and usually reach out towards her.

Aswell, the next point I’d like to mention in this segment, is how Oscar changed up his outfit to have bits of red in it. But, this red doesn’t really make much sense at first glance if you look at it, as it seems to just be there cause it looks kind of cool on his outfit, but this is RWBY and almost everything has some kind of significance too it, especially colors, so this could be one of those cases where a character adds a color to their outfit too show a fondness or closeness for another character. To show a closer attraction towards them, as it was confirmed people in Remnant do that. But who could this red be for- none other, than Ruby Rose herself. The only one with red as their main color and the one Oscar has grown the closest too across the course of the series. Like how Jaune has red in the form of Pyrrha’s sash, to show he still has a close bond with her, even after her untimely death. Or how Ren and Nora both wear pink, idk if that counts, but I think it does dang it. Anyhow, I think this is possibly a cute little way of showing how Oscar has grown stronger feelings for Ruby, add onto it she was the first one too comment positively on his new combat gear, saying it looks good. Aswell it looks like the exact same shade of Red as her combat gear.

For the final point I’d like to mention this segment, is one that I will spoiler warning the whole post for because of the fact that it just really does mean alot for Oscar’s character. It’s that Oscar was the one to offer a hug to Ruby, not the other way around, when they met up again in Atlas. Ruby has been the one too offer a hug to everyone else but never really the one to get offered a hug, and Oscar has always been the one to recieve hugs from others but not offer them himself. So seeing Oscar offer a hug to Ruby and seeing his smile just seeing her again- my fucking heart y’all-

So I think CRWBY has been dropping small hints all along that Oscar would grow feelings for Ruby somewhere along the way. And he just now is starting to see those feelings as more than just close friends, but rather that he has a developing crush on Ruby.

Reason 4: It Isn’t Really One Sided

Though Ruby may not exactly feel the same way about Oscar that he does her and we don’t have as much evidence for her as we do for Oscar, we do have some small pieces of evidence here and there that suggest Ruby could possibly start feeling similar feelings for Oscar that he does for her.

The first thing I would like to point out is that Ruby seems to look out for Oscar in alot of ways, and she seems to keep an eye on him whenever they’re in a fight or whenever he is in any sort of danger. The first time this happened was during their sparring match where she was quick to call back to Oscar after she knocked him down, like she was asking if he was alright, and then again in the same sparring match when she rushed too his side when Ozpin handed back the controls and he seemed hurt and exhuasted, a clear look of worry across her face. She also kept her eye out for Oscar whenever Hazel went after him during the Volume 5 fight and was quick to let the others know that he needed help, which shows that she was worried for him during this fight despite the fact Ozpin was also there, she was worried for Oscar nonetheless. She was also the first one to ask Oscar if he was okay in Volume 6 when they saw him again, which was honestly adorable. She also kept her eye out for him during the Volume 7 Mantle fight, whenever he killed that sabyr and didn’t notice another jumping up to strike him from behind, she was quick to be the one to respond by shooting it and giving a nod and smile to Oscar, almost as if showing she was proud of Oscar in some ways for how far he’s come as a fighter over such a short time actually fighting, and also reassuring him that she had his back in this. It was also cute how in the first episode of this volume, she was the one who went out to go find Oscar, she was the one who reached out too him when they saw each other again, and she was clearly happy too even just see him again, she likely didn’t even know he was alive or even down in Mantle, but she was still going to go look for him. Then of course there was this past episode, where she noticed that Oscar was right beside Emerald and she immediately went to draw her weapon before Oscar stepped in to stop her, showing pretty much an identical expression and reaction to the one Oscar had whenever he noticed her get knocked down during the fight at Haven. Which, these just seem like really cute and sweet moments on Ruby’s part, how she kind of is always there looking out for Oscar whenever he is possibly in any sort of danger or is hurt in any way and she is actually there to help prevent it, like she’s protective of her farm hand Cinnamon Roll.

Another thing I’d like to mention is that she is a bit awkward around Oscar at times, sort of like he is around her. She seems to hug herself a bit whenever she is around him and it’s just the two of them together, as she did this both in Volume 5 and Volume 7, like she is a little bit nervous, and she gets a little gigglgy and awkward, making it seem like she has some part of her that does have some kind of awkward dorkish feelings toward Oscar, similar to how he can get kind of awkward and nervously flustered around her aswell, she’s just better at not showing it.

Like I said, there are less pieces of evidence for Ruby’s side of things than there are for Oscar, but she does seem to have a few hints here and there that she may at some point reciprocate the feelings he feels for her, just towards him.

Reason 5: Extra Little Details

These are just small things here and there honestly, just cute things about these two that could possibly hint at them being a possible thing in the future. Or maybe they’re just purely coincidental, who knows? I still pretty much just find them cute regardless, needless to say, this is my weakest of the five points. But I still wanted to mention these things cause they do contribute a little bit.

Oscar and Ruby’s main colors are complementary. This is a point that is extremely obvious to anyone who just knows well- anything about colors. Red and Green are complementary colors, and these two have the main colors of Red and Green. This is a bit of a weak point, but it’s still cute none the less and given how important colors are in RWBY, ya never know.

This next point is really pretty weak and honestly just for fun, but, their eyes do complement each other a bit. Light Green and Light Yellow are colors that complement Silver. Though this is probably unintentional, It’s just something cute I wanted to note.

There are other things that could be considered cute small pieces of evidence, like how Oscar has an Aunt and Ruby has an Uncle, or that Miles has defended RoseGarden saying that the ship is fine with the age difference stuff. But those things are pretty much well known by anyone else who ships RoseGarden and more than likely just to RWBY fans in General, so I’d feel a bit wrong putting them here and giving them too much attention. I did want to mention them but that’s about it. Anyways, onto the conclusion.

Conclusion

So in Conclusion, There are quite a few reasons that I ship RoseGarden, but hey, this is just my personal opinion. Honestly I’d love too hear anyone else’s opinions on the ship aswell! And if there are any reasons that you ship these two that I didn’t list here, feel free to tell me, I’d love too hear them! Just please be respectful in replies, after all, these are just ships. We all ship for fun so may aswell just keep discussions about ships fun. But that’s all for now and hope others like this post and like the ship for these reasons aswell! Hope everyone has an amazing day ^^

[eveningstar1516]

Rise Of The Demon King ~ Chapter 1

Rise of the Demon King

Fic: Multi Chapter Paring: MC x Everyone (Mostly Lucifer) Type: Angst with a Happy Ending Total Word Count: 26,758 TW: Major Character Death, Reader gets stabbed with a sword through their chest so..., Abusive Parents, Past Child Abuse, Demon Hunters, Loss of Control Summary: You’ve done it. You’ve finally done it. You’ve managed to anger the demon king. Now you hold your head high as he hands down your sentence. AO3 Portal: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27065362

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ So I've been meaning to post this on here and I finally am. I'll be posting a chapter a day but the completed version is up on my Ao3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CHAPTER 1 - Awakening Day (1,526 words)

It’s been a few years since the exchange program ended. It was such a great success that Lord Diavolo had passed a law allowing inter-realm travel between the Devildom and the Human realm so long as you are approved with the proper paperwork of course. You were one of the few with a special pass to come and go as you pleased while skipping all the procedures. The day you visited was a special day. It had been the day the Demon King “Abandon” would awake from his slumber and return to the throne until he deemed Diavolo fit to rule as a permanent king instead of an heir. After much debate, you convinced your 7 demons to allow you to attend the ceremony. As they were high ranking Lords, they had to be present by Diavolo’s side while you stayed within the crowd with Solomon.

Awakening Day

“So what’s the Demon king like?” you asked the group on your way to the palace.

“Well, we’ve never actually met him. We came to the Devildom while he was still asleep” Satan answered.

“I heard that his aura is so powerful that even if you didn’t know him, which is impossible, that you would both fear and respect him on instinct. It’s rumoured that he is the only being in existence that could possibly challenge the Celestial realm and stand a better chance than we did!” Beel inquired.

“Well if Diavolo got any of his looks from him then he might be one of the most handsome beings in the three realms, after me of course!” Asmo added.

“Remember all of you, King Abandon is not like Lord Diavolo. Lord Diavolo might take enjoyment from your little escapades and shenanigans but His Highness will not tolerate any of that. You are all high ranking Lords, the “Rulers of Hell” I expect you all to behave yourselves and at least try to act the part. That means no inappropriate jokes, going off to steal something, sleeping at inopportune times, constantly snacking, or having your nose buried in a book or console. Our behaviour will reflect on Lord Diavolo and I will not have any of you tarnish it.”

“Oi! We can behave if we want to! Besides this is the King! We’d have to be absolute morons to try and do anything to him!”

“Well Mammon, we’ll just have to keep an eye on you, our moron of a brother,” Asmo said while ruffling Mammon's hair.

“HEY QUIT IT!”

“All of you enough! We will be arriving soon. Remember best behaviour-”

“Alright, Lucifer, you can relax. We’re not crazy enough to invoke the King’s wrath.” Satan said in an attempt to soothe over the eldest concerns.

“Y/N, are you absolutely sure you will be alright with Solomon?”

“Yes, Lucifer I’m sure. I’ll stay right next to him the entire time. I promise.”

With that, we arrived to see Solomon and a few other high-ranking Demons waiting outside the palace courtyard to be allowed in. Upon seeing us, Solomon walked over, extending greetings to each of the brothers before turning to me. Before he could do anything I gave him a big hug.

“How’s my favourite wizard?”

“Hehehe, nice to see you too Y/N. Are you ready to see the King?”

“Yes! I’m so excited. Reading about him just isn’t enough. Have you ever met him?”

“No of course not! I’m not that old!” Solomon replied between laughing breaths.

“We will be heading inside to meet with Lord Diavolo before the ceremony. I trust that you will keep Y/N safe right, Solomon?”

“Of course Lucifer. I love them as much as you guys do. Besides if I don’t you’d all just kill me and I for one enjoy my life.”

With that, the brothers bid me goodbye turning to head into the palace leaving me and Solomon waiting with the other demons for the ceremony to take place.

A little while later, the courtyard is packed with demons and sorcerers of all ranks, waiting to welcome their king back.

“Nervous?”

“A little but who wouldn’t be? I just hope that things won’t change so drastically now that the king is ruling instead of Diavolo.”

“I won’t be so sure, from what I’ve heard, he rules with an iron fist and is much harsher than Diavolo when it comes to his court. As Diavolo’s right hand, Lucifer will be very busy in the upcoming days. I imagine he will be even more stressed making sure his brothers stay in line.”

“Wow, you didn’t need to dump everything on me all at once…”

“It’ll be alright, you’ve handled worse, this’ll be easy in comparison. As long as you don’t anger him or anything like that.”

“Trust me, I don’t plan on doing any of that. Although things never go as planned for me huh?”

“No, they usually don’t do they?” he answered with a chuckle.

Before I could answer, we heard what sounded like fanfare and the crowd quickly quieted down. At the front of the courtyard stood Lord Diavolo in his demonic form with Lucifer at his right and Barbatos at his left also in demon form. The rest of the brothers and a few other high ranking elders and demons stood behind in their demonic glory in accordance with their rank. Diavolo then addressed the crowd.

“Denizens of Devildom! Thank you for coming out today to welcome my father His Highness King Abandon back to the Devildom. I will not keep you here so without further wait, HIS HIGHNESS KING ABANDON OF THE DEVILDOM!” As soon as Diavolo introduced his father, a tall dark man resembling Diavolo stepped up from the shadows in his full demonic glory. His demon form surprisingly simple and modest but still elegant enough to be fit for royalty. His horns unlike Diavolo’s curve upwards from the side of his head and onto the top forming a crown-like shape with gold swirling around it and admonishing the tip. His eyes like golden lava glowing in the lighting and you were convinced that he could set anyone ablaze with just his eyes and little thought. His upper body much like Diavolo’s is full of tattoos symbolizing his royal status. He brandished 4 large black leather wings with golden tips and blood-red accents. While he didn’t have a multitude of accessories like his son, the few he wore complimented his attire greatly making him look even bigger and more regal. He presented an aura that screamed for you to have the utmost respect when in his presence. As if on instinct, everyone present immediately bowed down taking a knee with their hands on their hearts along with those on stage. The kings’ eyes swept over the crowd taking in the different ranks all present for today when you felt a gaze settle on you, the only non magical born human here. I didn’t dare to raise my gaze or move, keeping my head down and as still as possible until I felt his gaze avert from my figure. Sensing my tension, Solomon risked a glance towards me without moving his head and I returned it with a slight smile to try and reassure him that I'm alright.

“RISE!”

At once, all that were present stood at once. Those on stage adopting a soldier-like pose with their hands behind their back, expressions betraying nothing. If this were any other situation, I would've sent them a smile and thumbs up. I wasn't used to seeing them like this and was impressed by their behaviour; though now was not the time for that.

The king then started addressing the crowd. Taking the opportunity, I studied him a little closer; never meeting his eyes and keeping my gaze as respectful as possible. During his speech, he raked his eyes across the crowd and would rest his gaze on mine more than once. Each time he did, I suppressed a shudder as his gaze looked like he was picking me apart and looking right through me. Solomon sensed my discomfort and squeezed my hand to assure me that he’s got my back should something happen. After he finished, everyone bowed their heads with their hands over their hearts as he left the stage along with everyone on it by ranking order. Soon after he left, everyone buzzed back to life talking among themselves about their king and leaving to get ready for the ball happening that night in honour of the king. As Solomon and I were leaving, Barbatos appeared by our side.

“Hello Y/N, Solomon”

“Hello Barb, is everything alright?”

“Yes, all is well. The king requests your presence is all. I’ve been sent to get you.”

“Oh,” I felt a pit form in my stomach. I’ve never interacted with royalty other than Diavolo and I didn’t know how to act when it came to the king.

“Alright. Sorry, Solomon, I’ll see you tonight right?”

“Of course. See you tonight.”

With that, he said his goodbyes to both Barbatos and I, then left. I took a deep breath and followed Barb into the palace.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[aphroditestummyrolls]

Nicky (from the old guard) for the Send Me a Character thing 💕

Hello!

My Nicolò 🌸✨ my sweet Angel

First impression: The second the door to that hotel room opened, and that slow smile spread over Luca Marinelli’s beautiful face, i was a goner. He was so immediately steady— he was the perfect person to have center of the shot there, it told you all you needed to know about Nicky. He’s foundational, he’s warm, he’s quiet but not shy. As soon as i saw him, i knew he was deep. It wasn’t until he said “we can do some good”, though, that I was like OH. Oh, okay. His quiet compassion was the first thing I really noticed.

And I fell in love instantly.

Impression now: he’s my favorite. Like, it’s a close run thing between him and Joe, but Nicolo di Genova is my favorite member of the guard, and my favorite character in the movie. He conveys so much with so little, he’s so powerful.

Favorite moment: ALL OF THEM 😩 Guh, if I have to choose, it’s a tie like Joe’s haha the first one is the scene in the hotel that I was just describing— the scene in the hotel is probably my favorite in the movie, period, but I digress— the thing I like most about that scene, though, is the HUG. when he hugged Andy?? And I was 6 months into quarantine and 5 months out of a manipulative relationship, and I saw THAT hug???? I teared up. I had never wanted a hug so badly.

The second one is at the lab— when he threatens Merrick. O_O “as is yours” okay, baby, go off. Like, Joe fills any room, but Nicky operates best in the negative space. He’s cryptic and subdued, but he’s not subtle. There is no doubt or hesitation— it’s similar to how he talked to Kozak earlier (speaking of favorite scenes). He’s certain of the world in a way that really shows his age, and I think it’s fascinating and strong, and really sexy, honestly.

Idea for a story: I have a story from a million years ago about Nicky getting separated from the group while on a mission (pre or post Nile, but definitely with Booker) and it’s continually floated that Nicky might be for-real dead. Joe is inconsolable, and the team has to help him keep it together. Nicky, though, is doing his damn best to find them, all by his lonesome. He has a lot of flashbacks to his life before death, and what it means to be alone. Of course, they’re reunited at the end— not separated for too long, because I’m not that mean— but it’s a heavy, angsty story.

Unpopular opinion: ummm. I dunno. In a similar vein to Joe, just let him BE. My favorite thing about Nicky is his profound depth, let him contain his multitudes! There’s so much more to the both of them than just their fanon dichotomies. That being said, popular canon takes— like Nicky having had a hard life prior to death, being the most frequent cook, or most experienced medic— aren’t necessarily bad takes. Just because he’s the cook (for example) doesn’t mean he doesn’t do other things. Let him be complicated! He’s literally a millennia old! Let the man cook if he likes to fucking cook!

Favorite relationship: Yusuf ❤️ but, like with Joe, that’s too easy! The relationship that’s been on my mind lately is his friendship with Andy. There’s a scene in Sono Qui where he’s bandaging Andy’s wound from Booker, and they have this tender moment just between the two of them that is so special to me. They have a real kinship.

Favorite headcanon: this is less of a headcanon and more of a character study haha but I’ve been thinking about dichotomies and symbolism in Joe and Nicky a lot lately— particularly the sun/moon idea. Which is just my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE!

Nicky IS the moon. Mysterious, and constant even when we can’t see it. He’s been there since long before you were born, and he will continue to be there long after you die. He watches humanity, and he knows every cycle in the historical runaround (“a fine justification— I have heard it so many times before.”). The moon perpetuates cycles that can give or take life— tides/currents— as much as the sun does, and they work together in seamless partnership to make the world work. Like, we talk all about Joe and his sun symbolism all the time, but Nicky is often relegated to the moon being the reflection of the sun’s light, and that’s usually where the conversation ends, but that’s not enough for me. The moon isn’t just the reflection of the sun, it’s the memory of it. It’s the reminder that nothing that’s gone is gone forever, and another day will come tomorrow. The moon knows what’s behind us and what’s coming, even when all we see in the night is darkness. It operates in a cycle itself, in endless renewal. It’s a warning of the past behind us, shining in all the millennia of meteor scars on its face, and a hopeful affirmation that a new day is coming. A literal light in the night. Some of the oldest calendars in the world track the lunar cycles! The moon is time, and so is Nicky.

Sorry. I’m super into the moon.

Thanks for playing! I hope that made sense haha

[floralkittygambler]

HuskerDust - More Toxic Than You Think [LONG]

This is the rough version of a deeper and more complex subject I want to ‘decorate’ with more ‘screencaps’.  DISCLAIMER: This is allegedly controversial and led to me getting literal death threats and an ED triggered. Ive about heard a lot of people’s shit on this so dont try it. I’m speaking from personal experiences too - experiences I really fuckin dont wanna be sharin yet they kinda validate my points. I want people to be aware of the damaging image from someone who can speak from experience without attracting dickheads or people twisting things. Again, I aint particularly comfortable sharing this so yeah- Be courteous- TW AHEAD - ALSO LONG ASS READ. DNI STANS OR ANTIS. May tag a few folks, may not.  HuskerDust is an extremely popular ship in the community however there’s glaringly obvious flaws in this one-sided relationship that both the fans and even the team fail to see. Neglecting the dangerous real world implications this ship [as well as many others] present to it’s audience - especially the more influenced of the audience, most who are children.

Angel flirts with all the male cast however one who catches his eye the most is Husk. Now I want to point out a few things [of many... obviously]; Angel is instantly starry eyed upon seeing Husk, likewise he actually started off with a ‘Hey~’ instead of something sexual. However he quickly ruins this after Husk tells him to go fuck himself [defined by: “ go fuck yourselfphrase of fuckVULGAR SLANGan exclamation expressing anger or contempt for, or rejection of, someone.” ie, he rejected instantly] by responding with an offer to allow Husk to essentially watch him masterbate. Alongside this, he cradles his face. Husk pulls away and seems to pull a face to express rage/disgust or growling imagery alongside COMPLETELY withdrawing his body away from Angel as Angel stares with goo-goo eyes. Firstly, Angel loves animals - perhaps it’s Husk appearing cute that adds to this, however Im not going to address animal imagery just yet. Secondly, Angel isn’t really portrayed to respect other’s boundaries BUT he does respect... Alastor’s. Al declines the blowjob to which Angel shrugs and doesn’t push this matter any further. With Husk, he’s pretty harshly told to piss off yet he makes quite and explicitly sexual remark, alongside invading his personal space and touching a man clearly disinterested and pulling away. From the initial rejection, it then becomes sexual harassment.  I also want to add that Husk comes with [some] perks in his feline form. And if my name didnt make it obvious, I work with and live with cats on a daily. Briefly, I have been educated in how to understand cat’s language in various individual cat as well as how to handle and work with them. Cats are often drawn towards me and Ive been successful with various types of cats. My most recent being a cat I’ve dubbed as Big - Big was abandoned quite young and has lived most his life on the streets [where I live is high in crime and drug rings, so you can imagine how strays are treated] leading to him being extremely fearful and hating people, hissing and fleeing just seeing people. I took time out last summer to finally give befriending him a shot. It’s taken just under a year of hard work and now he visits every day for his mush [wet food] and kisses, responds to his name and runs up to me in delight. Ive even taught him a phrase to signal that I dont want him or the other cat’s to fight [keeps them all safe and aids them becoming acquainted under supervision - something that’s been working surprisingly well]. I apologise in advance as this is not going to be the first instance of this sort of thing but they are relevant. Trying my best to keep it as brief.  For Husk, I will be using a mix of cat and human characteristics to break down his reactions.  In this first interaction, he turns his body away in a way to suggest caution, wariness and disinterest. In fact, much of his general body language is that of a man deeply closed off from connections - for starters, he folds his arms quick a bit which suggests lack of openness, shutting off and defensiveness *usually*. Likewise, when touched, he slightly jumps and tenses before pulling back in aggression with flattered ears - a sign cats give to display extreme hostility in a situation. It’s NEVER a good thing but then again, neither is crossing someone’s boundaries. It’s even stated that Husk hates Angel’s advances and wishes for nothing to do with him - the same dislike of sexual advances that Al dislikes in Angel. The ending as they all walk inside, Angel turns to Husk, winking and blowing a kiss his way despite the clear rejection earlier. In fact, Husk once again grows tense and is even irked by such a gesture. This won’t be the last mention of Angel totally disregarding how Husk feels - something that rubs off onto the fans AND the team themselves. And it’s... *concerning*, to phrase it lightly. Angel so far is the most persistent towards the most resistant, and in my post on RadioDust I have already established [briefly] on how Angel seems to chase unavailable men. The more unavailable, the more tempting. The one that got away, mentality. It’s not healthy. And I’m surprised so few have acknowledged this. Taking a break from what we’ve seen in the Pilot, let’s establish some facts about the pair.  Angel died in 1947 in his 30s [some posts specify 34-35], putting his birth year around 1911-12ish. Husk died in the 70s IN his 70s [again, nothing is truly specified, so for both we’ll go with 75 - the same number in his IG username] that puts birth year roughly 1900′s. Now an age gap between two adults of 11 - 12 years difference is actually reasonable and can work, depending on circumstance and whether theres a balance in power or not. But when we account for their life experiences and death ages, it’s something else entirely. Angel died young. Not only that but his mind seems more stuck in his raunchy teens than of an adult. And even THEN, he wouldnt be one to necessarily settle down [by which I mean in life, not romance]. He’s extremely emotionally stunted and his selfishness and wanting his own way come off very spoilt [when Husk is pissed off about the cat costume, Angel gets moody because he’s used to compliments AND is dressing to impress Husk. When Husk wanted the money he was rightfully owed, Angel threw a fit for ages until starting to earn it back - even though he owed Husk a drink, which I’ll be coming back to, Husk still wanted the money in the end perhaps hinting to only accepting a freebie as it’s on offer as well as Angel being overly persistent. He even dumps his pig onto Husk to look after, while theres no issue in pet sitting, Angel said Husk ‘owed’ him due to missing the show yet when HE owed Husk, he threw a fit.]. Angel’s life style is wildly chaotic in life AND death, and even though we all know he’s most likely going to be redeemed, he still lacks a lot of experiences in life. He lacks maturity.  On the other hand, Husk’s been through his own share of chaos and heartbreak. Difference is, he’s had a life time of experience. He doesn’t act immature in a childish sense. He truly behaves like a downtrodden old man. He’s had his days and would feel more secure settling down in a more peaceful environment with fun yet much needed calm. A better way to handle his need for risk. Age gaps in adults that are large [75 - 35 = 40 years!] are far less likely to work for a multitude of reasons. The main reason is the difference in life stages - that difference in mentality and experiences plays such an impacting role on compatibility. Often their goals and energies are polar opposites and their common grounds minimal. There’s also the looming concern of power dynamics. Whilst it’s usually the older figure that’s holds the power advantage, in this case it’s a little bit more complicated. I’d argue that it’s possibly Angel with the higher power. This rarely works irl but it’s POSSIBLE. Look at Hugh Heffner and his last partner before his death. I believe she was around 22. However there’s many common grounds, immediate attraction, and similar goals. Though incorrect, Heffner does give off a pimp-like vibe (he’s not but you get what I’m implying with mothlike imagery). Husk does not strike me as that type. It would definitely cheapen his character. In terms of interests, the main thing they have in common is that they like to drink. A bad habit, especially when one is an alcoholic. Both are also rather lazy except for certain circumstances [Husk will go out of his way to help HOWEVER he’s obliged to under Al, the only one he’s seen to willingly help and bond with/be seen with is Niffty. Angel is when there’s a fight, chaos, drama or any sex work]. Both are also rather snarky and vulgar. In terms of love, both suffer intimacy issues. On Husk, it’s ‘losing the ability to love a long time ago’ meaning he was likely cheated on or at least had a failed relationship. If he was ever ready for a new start, he’d definitely want something stable yet rewarding. For now, he needs a LOT of work - work he is not yet willing to put in, nor does he have a reason to. Angel doesnt want to commit because he’s extremely selfish as well as in an already abusive ‘relationship’ already. Sex work is sometimes VERY taxing on the mental health due to some of the folk you service. He’s seen the worst in many and just enjoys the pay and fuck. IF Husk was cheated on, then it’d make a lot of sense if a sex worker wouldn’t be his flavour, it would just serve as a reminder. Not only this, but Angel HIMSELF actively participates in cheating. Not with Val... but with *Travis*. BOTH know Travis is married (I’d be feckin worried if Trav didnt-) yet they still choose to cheat anyways, regardless of the pain it could cause. Angel even mocks this by sending greetings to Trav’s wife. Honestly this... Reminds me a LOT of Stolas - a main character who sexually harasses another character clearly not interested/comfortable, participates in cheating and we’re supposed to root for them (and before anyone gets offended, I do have more to say on Angel’s behalf so please be patient). Either way, it’s very toxic and concerning. Even if Husk wasn’t cheated on, I dont think many would feel exactly secure after having such a rough past with love, diving into a relationship with someone who’s openly participated in multiple affairs. And that’s no shitting on sex workers either, it’s just a point that some would feel uncomfortable with the idea of being with ANYONE (regardless of their work) having actively and KNOWINGLY took part in having an affair previously - especially multiple. Husk’s in an emotionally fragile place and needs more security. We’ve already established Husk heavily dislikes Angel’s advances. In fact, his responses to Angel are similar to his responses to... Al! His body language is VERY test and closed off to even Al, who’s most likely knew him for a very long time. If even Al gets this treatment (whilst also disrespecting his boundaries) then it’ll be the same with Angel (both force Husk into their lives and schemes, both disregard his boundaries). And he’s shown to STILL go out his way to help both however this is most likely tied to an unspoken ‘debt’ he owes Alastor. Plus he’s been mentioned behind the scenes to be a secret softie and protective grandpa type. But this animosity is very reflective of how Loona behaves and responds to Blitzo as well as how both Loona AND Husk (One being a ‘lowly servant’, the other being a literal old MAN) as pets - even the fans - just because of their forms. But this isnt the first of the disrespect they receive. Now we delve deeper Both are addicts of some kind (Husk - drinking, gambling. Angel - Drugs, possibly sex). Not a good mix at all romantically. Addicts often and unintentionally feed their addictions to each other as well as can increase likelihood of relapsing which even a recovered addict can slip back into. When times get tough (a natural occurrence) both are likely to suffer with their addictions. Interestingly, they can become addicted and dependent on one another, which is genuinely unhealthy for a mindset anyways, regardless whether addiction existed prior or not. Addiction only increases these chances. Angel likes confidence in a man (confirmed on Patreon). Yet, Husk is even confirmed  in streams to be deeply troubled and insecure. One thing he hates is his demon form, something that we’ll touch on shortly. Angel loves quality food ESPECIALLY of Italian origin whilst Husk is willing to eat the shit they give you in bars (admittedly that was painful to type as someone who grew up around pubs - either way it’s not exactly high quality or gourmet is what I’m saying). Interestingly, in some character references of Angel, it’s stated that he hates rejection. Hates. That’s a VERY strong word. This could explain but not justify why he’s persistent with Husk (similar to NiceGuys believing you’re playing ‘hard to get’ - further illuding to an immature and toxic mindset) though it interestingly doesn’t apply with Alastor. Odd.  There’s a counterpoint to symbolism in art. A very VALID counterarguement... If it suited Viv’s style. During Media Studies, Business, Design and Art, hell fucking Silent Hill! - I’ve been educated on effective symbolism as well as artistic trademarks (the most famous that most should know is Alfred Hitchcock!). Hitchcock often appeared in all his films, usually as a sidefacing silhouette, trading marking his films with his very PRESENCE. Viv’s seems to revolve around hearts. I mention this because an IG account made the point that hearts were to symbolise anyone connected with Angel’s story and love life (Valentino’s business and shades/collar, heart behind Angel’s head, Heart tattoo on Cherri’s right shoulder, hearts for Husk’s paws, eyebrow marks above natural brows, wings, and nose as well as most of the playing cards). Thing is, there’s hearts EVERYWHERE in all of Viv’s works and such symbology of Angel and hearts is weakened if it connects to the villains/abusers as well - taking away the positivity in a love symbol. Viv’s used hearts in her font, backgrounds, in characters ears, in all her series just generalised, Blitzo’s forehead, background characters, again the cards, Travis’s eyes, Millie’s right shoulder in the SAME place as Cherris. Even Vaggie had a heart tattoo on the shoulder in some christmas themed artwork (on her left). Heart’s is just something Viv seems to brand herself with. And that’s fine though I feel she could do with cutting it down slightly. One thing to early note on the cards (again, this’ll creep up later and my name should tell you why), most are heart suits and usually either a face card (J, Q, K), Joker, ace or 2s. Face cards/Jokers for more details close up (look at the signing artwork) and the rest are just easier to animate, though a little bit of a peeve to someone into their cards as well as the massive overuse of red in Hazbin overall. It’s extremely unlikely to be symbolic. If they change it to be so, then it’s... Weakened. As I’ve mentioned earlier, Silent Hill is an example of extremely clever symbolism in more darker media (more so, SH is considered a ‘hell’ of sorts and does feature religious iconography WITHOUT causing offence. A great example of how to portray this type of thing - they even mix humour in if you consider some of the sneaky references, dialogues and odd UFO/dog endings).  Discussing Viv’s art further, she drew a gift for her sister (original creator of Husk when he possessed white fur) of Angel playfully dragging a disinterested and annoyed Husk (I believe this was still around the time SpiderMoth was canon). The newish art tends to have Angel putting a holly crown on him or sitting on his knees, Husk seeming too lazy to really do anything about it. Very nonchalant. I also want to include some interesting stream arts here and later to further highlight their bond.  A fan asked Viv in a stream to draw them “actually getting along” - this wording implying that the fan is aware of Husk not enjoying Angel’s company. So Viv did, with an extra doodle of Husk being one of the ‘canadian people’ from South Park who sing “Im not your friend”. The art alone shows Husk’s absolute discomfort, even the extra thing Viv added w/o request. As they’re her characters and the fan asked for what they’d look like getting along, to show this discomfort goes to show the dynamic once planned. Husk just isnt a fan of Angel, especially when he’s being sexual and touchy. It can be great for small comedic parts, however both the team AND fans have now crossed this over to really creepy and triggering realms in their ships. It’s creepy and doesnt look good on Angel (who they actively root for) nor the gay community (more on that).

[Yes Ive already pointed out the comedic side of this ^ but it doesnt bode well considering the other points and issues that arise] There’s also a request for drag angel flirting with drunk husk. Personally thats a lil creepy to specify one of the two being intoxicated and thus not able to truly consent. If Angel is willing to flirt with someone in that state, it doesnt mean he would fuck them, but it does feel the fan was thinking that’s the case. In all truth, I think Angel WOULD flirt with those incapable of consent purely to swindle or pickpocket. I’d like to think [and HOPE considering his own abuse by Val] that he’d never take it further. And I hope Viv, the team and the fans see how incredibly creepy that thought is. I’ll give benefit of the doubt though it is still a concern. Either way, Angel appears... Annoyed? Husk is completely turned away and seems incredibly grouchy and confused. This shows yet more rejection on his behalf as well as Angel’s response to being rejected, which highlights his immaturity towards it. Remember, he’s USED TO and EXPECTS everyone to want him (even saying this in the Pilot). Hell, there’s even a Rich Vaggie request where Viv again randomly includes Husk. This time, he’s faced towards her and relaxed, though seems unimpressed and overall disinterested in this type of behaviour. Behaviour and interests of Angel [Celeb status and rich appearance due to Val, despite getting very little of the cut and the vanity, as well as Husk just not giving a shit about this sort of peacock display]. (Also wanted to note in Viv’s #3 stream 1:50:50, Faust makes out that Husk is a ‘dirty, creepy old man’ as well as him constantly threatening violence towards Angel. I dont see him as *creepy* in this context - as it implies perversion that he blatantly lacks fortunately - though it’s very telling of how Husk feels and again shows this toxic relationship).

/Angel’s Type: First off, daddy issues. He has them. Now let’s look at ‘daddy’. Henroin is shorter than Angel, dark fur, grumpy, old, wears only a hat and tie, big brows... Sounds familiar? Ok, look at his brother Arackniss. Similar to Henroin, dark, short, grouchy, bullied by and bullies Angel, is adverse to Angel and overall possess a bad relationship. Ok.... His main client, Travis! Short, dark fur, moody, Only wears hat and tie, drinker (shown in stream as request so take drinking with a pinch), similar face to- Is no one else seeing this trait? Angel seems to go for these shorter than him grouchier men who either want him for sex or hate his presence. Men who are like his dad and brother. All of these guys are far too similar, and we’ve got enough men in suits, bowties and sharp teeth in this show to boot as it is- The psychology of this type of attachment is rooted in a bad familial relationship alongside the subconscious desire to repair or compensate for it. Unknowningly the person will keep seeking out this sort of guy who isnt good for them to fix this internal issue. The resolution is to NOT go for these types. It’s also connected to intimacy fears, by going for those you know arent good for you/right for you/interested in you is often the manifestation of these issues. Pair them with daddy issues and it’s a disaster! There is science to back this up. Valentino is interestingly the opposite yet still toxic issues arise. Why? Because he’s going from one extreme to the other but with the same mindset. Neither of these men or types for MANY reasons are right for him. And visa versa. Seeing a pattern? ~~~~

Angel w Husk? I mentioned before that Husk hates his demon form. If you’re an old man, a gambler, some Vegas bloke and have this grouchier disposition, why the fuck would you want to look like an oversized pet? Exactly. Angel however adores his own aside from the feet. Now I find it strange how the guy we’re rooting for just so happens to like his own form which was intended for punishment. But that’s not todays post. I said earlier that Angel is heavily fixated on Husk’s appearance. Especially the feline aspects (calling him Husky and Kitty - petnames he hates that also treat him again more like a pet than a man -, dressing as a ‘sexy cat’ to appeal to him which can come off as more mockery. This is even backed up by fans who seem to think an old guy’s gonna act like some school girl anime trope?). All of this completely disregards and disrespects Husk’s feelings and perspectives. Something the fans and team take part in actively. Angel - whether you want to hear this or not - is SELFISH. When Husk ‘owed’ him for missing the show (babysitting Fat Nuggets), Husk begrudgingly fulfils this. The second Angel owed Husk for stealing drinks, Angel threw a hissy fit. The silent treatment, going to other bars and posting about it whilst complaining (again focusing on Husk being ‘cute’). Trying to cop out of it by buying Husk a smoothie (though it looked like a date, lets be real, do you REALLY have to bribe someone to date and be around you? No) and even then he still had to owe the money which was more of Husk’s concern. Yes he did in the end and more money than needed, hence the returning of the extra cash, but that is no excuse for the childish behaviour prior. He’s much too accustomed to being adored and pampered and getting his own way that he cant grasp when people arent a fan or willing to pamper him. If they make them a ship, all it does it make Angel completely into a shitty Gary-Stu that everyone loves and pities for his suffering, rather than teach him to grow, earn his redemption and confronting his own toxicity. Let me make this extremely clear: ANGEL DOES NOT DESERVE ABUSE OR RAPE. But when he starts behaving as shitty, he’s hard to root for. Remember, he’s sexually harassing all these guys, with Husk getting the brunt of it. But it’s treated as a joke for them and only taken seriously for Angel. Val abuses all of his employees. He abuses VOX and even THAT was mocked by fans and staff. It’s... It’s frankly gross.  In every interaction Husk has with Angel, his body language is closed off, tense, uncomfortable, turned away and hostile - look at the IG. He wont even allow Angel to touch him. Compare this to Niffty, who he’s fine with taking pictures with and letting her hang around and touch him. Body language is relaxed (relaxed shoulders, open body language) and he doesnt look hostile at all. What does Angel do? Always tries to get close to Husk (such as sitting as close as possible during Poker) and forces both his OWN hobbies onto Husk (ones that Husk shows a strong disinterest in) and Husk’s hobbies (Poker). It’s very FORCED and not natural. Going back to immaturity, he blames Husk and his cards for being shit at the game. They’re always bickering, insulting, fighting in the comments but fans only see this as a ‘cute couple fight’ or Husk being ‘tsundere’.Tsundere. An anime trope often used in young characters. Irl tsundere is NOT this dramatised. The tsundere you see in anime, apply that irl and you get the recipe for the most toxic, petty and immature relationship going. You get constant fights, unease, not feeling loved/appreciated, little trust - the list goes on. Plus an old bloke really isnt going to indulge in tsundere traits. It’s childish. After his history with love, I doubt he’d be up for games and messing about. For something meaningful, he’d just want open honesty. Their ‘relationship’ feels like it’s written by horny kids attempting a fanfic after being inspired by 50 shades and twilight (both show toxic relationshiiiiiips~). The worst is that these are adult writers trying to portray some realistic yet sensitive topics. This is just ill fuckin taste. Even the warnings in Helluva’s ‘Horny Demons’ leaves a bad taste when the fans are thinking Stolas is the best dad despite both parents ruining Octavia’s mental health. Despite the next day after that episode aired Stolas starts flirting with Blitzo again on IG. Despite Blitzo being clearly uncomfortable and sexually harassed and even co-herced into sex (VERY UNHEALTHY MESSAGES HERE). Viv herself has been in bad relationships so how the fuck she’s blind to this and even borderline fetishizing this sort of behaviour that everyone seems to play off as ‘Awwww cute tsundere <3 BOYFRIENDS BOYFRIENDS BOYFRIENDS’ is abhorrent. I’ll go into this more later on how this really just... It treats male sexual harassment and assault as a fucking joke- Angel’s constant unwarranted flirting is no different from the freaks on IG that send dick pics to underage kids and random women in their dms and fathom that they’re ‘nice’ and have a ‘chance’. Wanna know the creepiest? The candid photo of Husk on Angel’s wall. Something Husk seems horrified about. It’s fangirlish and teenager like at BEST, and obsessive stalker at worst. He’s NOT respecting Husk’s boundaries or feelings. That’s still up despite Husk’s reaction. He still wore the costume despite Husk’s feelings. Angel’s thinking with his dick and it’s such a fucked up message that everyone seems to support just because ‘its FICTION. Theyre in HELL.Theyre BAD people.’ Yeah? Well look at how that’s effecting and warping reality and perspective. It’s glamourising it. Fetishsizing stalking and making it cute. Yer have celebrity or boyband or whatever youre a fan of pics on your wall. NOT your crush. NOT someone who clearly isnt interested or happy with this. If someone who kept commenting on your pictures “sexy” suddenly had a picture of you on their wall, what would YOU think? How would YOU FEEL? Because myself and my own sisters have been in VERY fucking similar situations and it’s traumatic. His paw is even attempting the lens - Angel is crossing his boundaries and not getting the message that Husk doesnt want this. He’s forcing himself onto Husk. Yknow... VAL forced himself on Angel and it ended up in numerous rapes. Angel hasnt raped Husk, but if he wont take no. If he wont respect boundaries. If he only wants Husk to do what he wants but throws a fit when he owes husk - he’s picking up on Val’s bad habits more and more. How are so few - even the very team creating this - not seeing how disgusting this is? Are we only supposed to give a shit if Angels hurt? If so, the message isnt so much of how despicable Val is but how awful it is to upset Angel. Fans constantly blame Husk for being grumpy, annoyed at or rejecting Angel. Look at this real world implication. Not only that but Angel being gay just reinforces one of the worlds most disgusting and inaccurate stereotype of gay men being sexual predators and forcing men to have sex whether theyre comfortable or not. MOST gay men arent like this, and those who are its just because THEYRE shitty people (Jeffree fucking Starr, but look how people ‘stan’ his fuckin behaviour). Val is rubbing off on Angel as much as fiction has a MASSIVE impact on reality - whether we’re willing to admit it or not. Like Val, hes pushing past boundaries, he’s selfish, hes more into visuals than anything else. It’s one sided, superficial and theres no click. No connection. Be in this situation yourself and seeing this sorta shit becomes second nature to stay alive. Angel even says that most of hells residents are ‘ugly freaks’ yet finds Husk cute. It’s all LOOKS. Who else likes appearances alone? Val. I know this will trigger and upset fans, Ive been told to fucking die and have my ED triggered when I mentioned it before. But accept that all of them have flaws. Everyone irl have flaws. But there’s flaws and then theres a fuckin crime. If Husk was a woman, more people would see the flaw, but even then... Look at many romance movies - not all but many go for opposites attract (science proves this inaccurate irl), stalking, or even sexual harassments and assualts but she falls for him and they end up together. That aint love thats Stockholm with extra steps. Think you’re triggered and upset? Go through this shit - have a history with it happening - and then see some show you love and a comfort character get treated the exact same and everyone JUSTIFIES it, including the team themselves. It’s NOT cute.  Part 2 to the previous point: Both do share common interests, but it’s very unhealthy such as excessive drinking, both being addicts and being rather lazy, etc. Otherwise the common ground just isnt good. They’re opposites that really dont compliment each other. (Not a valid point here but I find it interesting how Angel loves aquariums and Husk can fly too). Viv’s writing is mediocre at best (but with glowing potential - a diamond in the rough - hence why it’s so frustrating) but Husk’s writing is the laziest. According to Viv he’s (paraphrased) “easiest to write... doesnt care about anything, almost always grumpy leading to similar reactions to everything”. His voice and alcoholism even has a lot of inspiration from Rick Sanchez. As I said with Angel in the RadioDust post, it’s almost like the addictions are seen as a joke. A running gag is fine if you can play it off well and it’s not about something so serious EVEN MORE SO when the series is about how damaging the addictions are and redemption. Why is this end goal being ignored unless it’s about Angel himself? That’s not just favouritism or bias, that’s also heavily self indulgent and a backwards ass message. Right now, Hazbin and Helluva have this ugly fixation on sex and ships. VIV has a fixation on ‘horny demons’. Her main characters are incredibly sexual bar Al (dont even say Husk, Niffty, Charlie or Vaggie or even loona and Moxxie are even on par with the focus and treatment Val, Angel, Blitz and Stolas are given). It’s very fixated and concerning. Its starting to feel like it’s about to divulge into hentai than a legit series with even a hint of the plot or a message. It reminds me of Family Guy trying to be BoJack. It’s starting to remind me of fucking Sausage Party and the final orgy. Sex and swears makes it inappropriate for kids but that doesnt make it adult or mature, and this is coming from someone who swears more than a fucking sailor whos stubbed his bare pinky toe on a fucking crate corner. Constant swears arent funny or artful in the slightest when it’s over done. It’s just... childish adult humour. We cant be expected to want to root for any of them at this rate- All A24 and other companies are seeing is big cash and easily manipulated child audiences (for easy money). They KNOW it can be better but theyd rather be lazy as they’ll profit big either way. This is going to end up like YanSim and YanDev. Amazing potential, shit writing with a leader too stubborn to accept and act on criticism, seeing it as hate. At this point, Husk isnt a deeply troubled man with vices and interests. He’s just fuck candy and romantic end goal for Angel. To compliment and complete him. Just another accessory to the Angel Show. Vivs sister who made Husk even loves Angel so it’ll only serve to further this already toxic narrative.  The ship doesnt look or feel right. There’s too much established now to see the dynamics and favouritism in the creators. Self indulgence. You cant play favourites when you do this sort of thing professionally. The audience can see it and it turns people away. Ask any nonHaz/Helluva fan what they think and it’s... Well, average.  Another thing is everyone went full hype on Frozen focusing on something other than romance as a form of love. But then go back to “Ok now everyone reenact the final scenes of Sausage Party” afterwards. Not everything is sex and romance, and it really is starting to feel Viv and the fans are focused on that like Incels focusing on ‘chad’. It’s creepy. Helping with food, telling someone self conscious on their weight that they’re not fat, not taking more money than someone owes, even helping out with a pet - that’s something that a good friend would do. In fact, Husk even laughs at the goofy Angel cutout and it being destroyed. It doesnt instantly equate to wanting to fuck. The fact that the fans and even some of the team seem borderline horny is... Completely destroying this show, it’s message and everything about it. Viv said ships were hardly the focus in her stream but look at it now. Look at what Viv focuses on now. It’s just fanservice shit. Nothing more. Self indulgence shit, look at the team making rape into a fetish or shipping themselves publicly with the characters on the public IGs. It’s like watching children run a business and it’s painful because the entire series is suffering when it could be amazing.  Friendship should be more normalised as a valuable type of relationship just as much as love or family are. I’ll also add that Husk adding after the show “Oh fuck... Is this what I missed? Shit.” is ooc like the ‘date’ (that was compensation for stolen drinks, like a tamer version of Blitzo fucking Stolas for the grimoire). It contradicts that he slept it off rather than an attempt at staying awake, as well as calling it a “god damn peepshow” implying a repulsion to the peverse tendencies. The constantly commenting, following and posting Angel related pics makes little sense either from someone who’s blatantly been sexually harassed as well as the clear repulsion of the candid pic on the wall. He outright rejected Angel. What would be realistic are the IGs focusing on learning about the characters, their lives and interests - ALL updating at realistic paces. Old men arent tech savvy usually nor care for social media that much. He’d post drinks, gambling, casinos, life with Niffty and Alastor. Heck maybe a picture of Angel captioned “When will this guy leave me the FUCK alone?”. He even only seems to tag angel, even in the pic that had Charlie and Vaggie [their shared account] or Niffty. Theres a CLEAR bias in the staff room and it’s messy. Look how most the female cast is ignored (Vaggie/Charlie, Velvet who posted a birthday gift to one of the new artists on the merch WHY? Gasu btw, Niffty, Millie only posting twice - heck even Vox and Loona sometimes get neglected. CLEAR. BIAS.) The ships focused on are 1) NOT established canon yet publicly favoured by Viv and the team (Stoliz, HuskerDust, VoxVal - that last pair havent actually got a VA either-), 2) Are TOXIC and theme around abuse or sexual harassment but it’s ‘cute because gae’ - NO. This makes gay people look really bad when they’re not. 3) HD and SL focus on one sided, stalkerish, cop out ‘tsundere’ excused ships to sugar coat the creepiness which only further fuels bigotry, 4) SL has MERCH on it now, so thats also profiting on sexual harassment imagery (again, dont give a shit they arent real - the EFFECTS are. The people who can relate ARE. The people being horridly stereotyped ARE). Thing is, the IGs originally were there to promote ADDICT which started as a fan song anyways despite everyone saying how Viv is stubborn in her ways an uninfluenced by her fans (proof says otherwise) yet shes allowed a fan song to be canon. Theres a focus on forced love for fanservice. The IGs have long outstayed their welcome. The Val account allows glamourisation of the sick shit Val does AND entinses fans to bully as they forget a REAL PERSON runs the fucking account, Val isnt even a scary villain either - hes just a big teen like everyone else - stuck in a teen drama with all this. Pimps are smart. Theyre scary. Theyre masters of manipulati- HOW DO THEY NOT DO THE RESEARCH?! Viv wanted this sense of realism and dealing with sensitive topics in one of the worst executed ways Ive ever seen- It’s toxic. It’s dangerous. These are shit messages and your fans display that when they think all criticism is ‘hAtE’ and actively bully real people w REAL EXPERIENCES. Telling them to ‘stop pls’ does fuck all because you still promote shit messages straight after. Like with Stolas to Blitz in a IG story a day after Ep 2. Classy.  Fanservice seems desperate to keep these fans (rather than market correctly... Just like YanDev) and it leads to fans feeling like they have the audacity to steer the series. Poor business with WEAK boundaries. Viv, you lost your series a long time ago. Want it back? LISTEN TO LEGIT CRITICISM. Stop surrounding yourself with yes men. Even my best fucking friend calls me out when Im out of line because a real friend will fucking take the chance of hurting your feelings if it means helping you in the long run and grow.  Mick joked about the inside of Husk’s ears matching Angels coat, that the ears are cat’s most sensitive and vulnerable parts. 1) Cats vulnerable part is their tummy - hence why you need their trust first (alternatively yer get the odd cat that has full confidence they cat hurt you a lot faster than you can tickle them - I own one), 2) Its weird that Viv doesnt know this considering how many cats she has - its important to learn the language of those you love to give them your full understanding and a great bond 3) This romanticises sexual harassment more than it already is in the media (remember, theres women out there still murdered for saying no!) as well as reinforces the stereotypes of gay men forcing non-interested men into sex (again, a very toxic and unrealistic trope - a dangerous one thats led to gays being murdered!). And the ears design is unnecessarily overly complex considering those fuckin wings he supports. If the design adds nothing to the character but aesthetic, then it can go on the chopping block. Rules for simple animation. Besides from Angel sharing the same tooth as Val (who knows if that was added after he started working for Val as branding?) you could use this argument to say Pent or Al are soulmates for Angel because of having striped suits, or sharp teeth - no, it was intended as a joke that Viv fueled to irresponsibly because it’s not the first time she’s dodged publicly addressing something (something youll NEED to get used to in a big company), and she’s publicly dodged shit after this too so Im not putting faith in her until she can act professionally as the job requires. Likewise, professionals should consider what and how they joke as they’re presenting an image of a company/business. And people WILL eat that shit up face value regardless. In her stream #2, a fan requests for art of flustered angel and smug husk to fuel their ship. at 2:10:21, she does so. She’s also done this for Baxter x Niffty and Cherri x Tom. As a professional, you really should be avoiding this sort of thing in the name of fanservice. I get it, fanservice = financial gain. But it also results in empty meaning. It’s a shell of what the passion project once was, hence why you make the ENTIRE skeleton before involving others. The team help construct the muscles, tendons and organs. The public - moreso critics and the more experienced in those fields help sew the skin. Then you bring it to life, the fans become like blood. They aid to keep it alive. Even Ash and Mick mention Husk being ‘tsundere’. Im had most my piece about it earlier, however I’ll repeat and add some extras. Tsundere is an exaggerated personality, often used in younger characters. In terms of a relationship, it’s very immature, leads to poor communication and results in a toxic love. Science can back this up as well as the lack of realism. It’s more immature minds/hearts that go to what they interpret as tsundere in hopes of the love life the media portrays. A farce. Y’know what Angel needs? Someone open, honest, open to love and comforting. He doesnt need someone rebuffing and him chasing. It’s nothing more than an immature thrill. Once the love begins, it’s burns out QUICK. It’s far from sustainable or healthy. It’s not what either really need and further show Angel’s fixation on men who subconsciously remind him of his father. It’s not healthy. Another thing is a tsundere actually IS interested but shows it in the most immature and childish means possible. Would a really old bloke actually give a shit to play those sorts of games? No. Not one coming from a place like husk has. It’s painful how lacking in research and experience these people are. Science backs up that opposites solemnly attract also. In fact, they often either repel or only get as far as friendship.  Fan and Team Mentality in Brief: Im coming out with my ultimate pet peeve: if you’re going to have one of the MAIN characters be a gambler, do your research. The only background shit is a casino, LOADS of sex references (in Pride? Really?) and drugs. It’s like someone listing what they think is adult and tabboo and naughty. It’s yikes. Cards are almost always aces, 2s or blank. MOST are heart suits (like we need MORE red - we get it, it’s hell. But it’s an immature larvae stage hell). I get 2s and aces being easier to animate, however you have Husks wings, the entire of alastor, angels arms - if youre busting the budget for the menial then bust it to the cards. Theres like ONE spade. The full house isnt a full house (here’s a display of the fans lack of education on the matter as well which serves as a sure sign that they know just as little on any of this as SpindleHorse, they think it’s a sign on him being a card cheat. A card cheat. I aint saying hes not but what I AM saying is poker professionals are some of the most observant people in the world. Especially when money’s involved they’ll ensure youve got your facts right. That wouldnt fly at ALL. But theres more~ fans think Husk spent loaaaads of time staring at angel’s face in the IG poker out of <3 Newsflash. When you play poker you read EVERYONE like a book. Every little twist and twitch of the features. Its not about love. It’s about winning. Its about money. Play enough poker and it’s instinct if you want to actually play decently. Call bluffs. Life aint a fuckin romance.) And playing Poker at a BlackJack table? In a casino? These are all common knowledge and basics if you just research. And this is coming from someone with a history of this.  The fans even believed Tipsy Bartender’s ‘Peach Princess Cocktail’ was something Spindlehorse made as a beverage form of Niffty, Angel and even Charlie because of the name. Now, Im not expecting everyone to be a fuckin boozy either, but to not even consider it’s a very real drink does show that many fans are far too young for that 18+ label.  Fanart of HD often has Husk being OOC OR being held hostage (often via webs - one even being reblogged by Viv, aint that cute!). Some even have Husk completely intoxicated, which would be rape. Im not sugarcoating it. Because too many are getting the sweet treatment and copying Viv’s ‘dont address and it disappears!’ tactic - A LOT of internet celebs do it. The ship is drawn a lot by the team in the public eye, Viv reblogs it publicly (SL, HD, alongside canon only ships, how curious-). Husk is pan yet doesnt behave as the stereotype. And Id FULLY support this with my fucking SOUL (fun fact: you cant sell a soul. Thats myth to scare people-) if it was done correctly. But the way bisexuals, lesbians, gays and aces are portrayed so stereotypically (even Pan in terms of Val’s sexomania), it’s really REALLY uncomfortly coming across as Husk being pansexual JUST to make him an ‘option’ for Angel. Hell even the hets are given a shite representation. Some art btw has husk tricked into a kiss. Cute, we’re really starting to like blurring consent aint we? Remember, Angel has celeb power in his world. In the real world, he has a following. HE has the power in the ship massively. Hell, fans JUSTIFY Angels behaviour and absolutely rip Husk a new shithole if he fuckin even so as to DARE OPPOSE ANGELS MUCH DESERVED LOVE! - sarcasm because I have to make that shit clear now. Fans dont care about Husks feelings, he wasnt even popular until this ship started to explode. Y’know what would be cool and break stereotypes? An old straight white guy actually accepting his friends sexualities. The pan thing feels really fucking gimicky and exploitive and gross based on the history of all this shit. It feels disingenuine. Representation doesnt come from it just being there. What next? Katie whips on blackface to further show shes a bigoted knobhead whos white and straight? Dont get me wrong, Katie’s an arsehole but theres other means to show this rather than ALL HETS HATE THE BIG GAE. They dont. They really dont. But hey, we’ll show a gay man sexually harass every guy and root for him! NO. Thats fucked up. It makes gays look like the predators theyre not. It’s like the fucking 50s with modern tech - is that the real identity of Vox? Fuckin maybe. WHAT THEY NEED - FUCKING FINALLY, ITS THE END IVE BEEN ON THIS SHIT FOR DAYS WHILST SICK LUCKY ME EH? CAN YER FEEEEEEEL MY TIREDNESS OF FANDOMS AND CREATORS EXCUSING SHITTY THINGS FOR CLOUT, MONEY, FAME AND OTHER DUMB SHIT? IF YOU CANT, THEN WHAT THE FUCK, AND OTHER NEWS: Right. Lets get our main shit. Compatibility between the pair is really low - lower than even the team seems to see. And yer old fart of a Hag here’s gotta use my personal suffering as an example because thats what the cool kids do, right? Their friendship compatibility is high. VERY high. But low for love. HEALTHY love. In terms of convo flow, it only has a river when insults are flying, otherwise Husk actively cuts Angel short or outright annoys him. In reality, someone like Husk would gross out Angel, but the cute cat look can turn that the fuck around - JUST the look. Fans and the team oddly think it’s cute though. Yes, I remember being negged at the bar and thinking “BOY arent my pants flooded like the fuckin planet when the ice caps are melting”. There’s no click. Theres infatuation and lust one sided based on looks. Husk isnt even remotely interested and no means delayed yes apparently. Angel as a rape VICTIM should know better than to blur consent like this. Angel isnt a rapist [for the skim reading raging stans ANGELS NOT A RAPIST, YAAAAAY!] but he sure has a shit grip on when he’s looking like Val when Val forced Angel into a kiss by not accepting rejection. It’s. CREEPY. Its fuckin weird. Husk is literally named after being a shell of his former self, I doubt random sex and forced interest is gonna make him spring to life like bastard Zeberdy from the Magic Pissin Roundabout. Honestly, sexual harassment and addictions are treated the same in this - a joke. A punchline. A gag. Sure makes me fuckin gag. Nah, the more healthier Chaggie relationship (needs work on Charlies damn part - dont let freaky taxidermy men sexually assault your life partner like that) is booooring, lets focus on sexual harassment leading to true love like all the other shitty romcoms shall we? Or sugar coat it with ‘getting to know them better <3′ like Beauty and the Beast. A story, by yours truly: My mom’s mates with this woman. Lets call her M because her name starts with an M. M is just like Angel except slightly older, overweight and disabled - so not everyones cup of tea visually (shes neither here nor there to me imo, not like I hold interest in shaggin her). Like Angel, she fuckin flirts with any ANY man around her. She’ll even touch without consent, rub allllll up and down their backs and bodies, and not leave them alone. She even did this with a few gay men. Shes not a horrible person BUT mom and I are constantly trying to stop her and get through her head how DISGUSTING this treatment is. But nothing gets the message across. Shes ALWAYS talking men and sex and has an on/off fling with this one bloke (dont worry, hes the male M, cheats and does the same as her). Everyone, even women, are uncomfortable with this. Irl it’s desperate and a HUGE repellent. Men are visibly SO uncomfortable. She does it to my father too who is - in case youd forgotten - MARRIED TO HER BEST. FUCKING. FRIEND. My father is not a man of fear (and interestingly, hes one of the real life Huskers I know!) but this woman? *insert Heavy bc why tf not* She scares him. My dad does everything in his damn power to pull away, reject, resist, avoid and cut her off. The only reason hes even nice to her at all is because mom likes her (when M isnt a gross hornbag, shes genuinely a good friend to my mother - much like angel and Cherri). My dad’s strictly banned from insulting her or telling her to fuck off from my mother BECAUSE of her nature with him. Even at her non horny times, he’s even said shes not his flavour.  I’ve had numerous accounts like this myself (ask any woman-) but the worst was the guy thinking - THINKING - that Id eventually be his whilst he played up a lot of our similarities up, seemed nice and I actually thought I had a good guy friend (put it this way, Im genuinely scared of men because of guys like this). At this time, there was a character I discovered who looks and behaves SO much like me, and shes married. My simping arse for this fictional BEAUT [Im sorry but Iris is fucking awesome] compared her romantic traits towards Olgerd as something Id do - and this was a STATUS. It wasnt even too him, tagging him, nothing. I was just spamming Iris like the Iris whore I am, and... Yep. Ill be honest and say that God only knows what else I did that made him think I was ready to rip off my clothes and shag him. My post history back then showed Im like this when I find a character I relate to. I also send hearts a lot publicly and to friends to express joy - I get NERVOUS how that’ll be taken now. He tried to pit my ex friend and I against each other for him and even cyberstalked us pretending to be a girl named Raven. My GUT told me this aint no bastard ‘Raven’. The vibes he gave me, and the fact when I kept saying no he took it as a delayed yes (He even said “Ill wait for when youre ready” not “I understand and am happy to still be friends”) gave me literal nightmares of this guy tracking me down and raping me. He’s currently dating that ex friend (I was still willing to be their friend and support them but they said it was hard to keep us separate in her lifes and she didnt want conflict, so I cut it off amicably with her and I fuckin hope he treats her right. I even sensed in my gut she’d like him and he’d like her - even that theyd be good together! But then I found she was 17 and he was 10 years older, that he was cyberstalking and pitting us against each other, that he was secretly an arrogant fuck and that he gives off red flags like her ex’s - but shes passed 18 now and I want to trust her as an adult that she can deal with this. Shes got a good family.) As a kid, Ive been fuckin groped at school in my shitty neighbourhood. One kid even harassed me wanting to know if Id started my periods yet. Hed constantly fondle girls and ‘keg’ them aka yank down their skirts or trousers in public, and 2 years later held a fucking KNIFE to my throat in a classroom with the shittiest substitute teacher, all because I stood up to him (I was not known for my bravery at school so). He was harassing my female friend who suffers from it since as well as her upbringing, bullying her and stealing her stuff. Shes TINY. She was bullied just as bad as I - who was somehow both the school ghost AND pariah somehow- - and I stepped in and told him to cut that shit out before snatching her things back. I told her to ignore the desperate prick. Thats when he took a boxcutter and held it to my throat, threatening me to keep my head down. Now my neighbourhood fucking qualifies as the British ‘hood’ but Id been lucky to avoid this. Ironically, I wondered what this situation would be like a year prior. Im convinced I can fucking foresee bad shit now and with anxiety that aint good. I froze mentally and I just said “Wooow, Im fucking scared- *friends name*, ignore him” and continued my work. I fucking mentally kicked myself for speaking but I genuinely didnt know what to do. Obviously not fucking that. He sat the full TWO HOURS at our table with this knife, jolting forward mockingly and switching who he pointed it at. The knife btw was from that very room as it was graphics and art. Teacher didnt even notice though honestly Ive had an entire class throw shit at me and call me a whore and the teacher in that class looked at me and TURNED AWAY. End of the day, I reported it to my actual graphics teacher when he returned and he told me he’d take this higher up and to get my parents. My home was only 5 minutes away but I had to walk alone when most the students were gone AND through a fucking alleyway. I always walked with my head low but that day I kept it high and tried to look brave because I genuinely thought he was waiting for me. That he was going to rape and kill me because he’s a pervert and Id just discovered a fucking violent one at that. I broke down at my door. Do you know how fuckin hard it is to look your parents who are dealing with two cancer patients and other issues in the eyes and tell them their ‘little girl’ had a knife to her through for standing up for herself? We went back, I described everything and even remember the yellow-orange handle just to get this kid punished? I even wrote an official police statement (well, the written witness account they add to their statement and evidence) and had to speak on mine and my friend’s behalf because she was that shook up. I never even used to speak for myself! He got expelled, but yknow what us jolly folk dealt with? Hearing kids and his mates mumbling about the ‘rat’ and how much of a cunt they were. Teachers and kids praise him for his art skills and even pin them on display EVERYWHERE (one - ONE - was a fucking self portrait and none of the staff seemed to find issue in that) and even an occassion where he came back into the school when he legally wasnt (trespassing). Do you know how hard it is to fucking avoid someone without raising suspicions from everyone around you in a narrow corridor? Im TALL too. I got NO support from this and felt on edge because he could easily sneak into school. I couldnt say shit because his stupid ‘spies’ were about. Just typing this is upsetting enough- I also know a rl Angel who’s like him minus the sexual harassment. She’s... I never used to like her and visa versa but we actually get along really well now, even though she can be creepy and perverse- But she wouldnt be my type either nor I with her. Often we really fuck each other off but we can also bond great. Another incident reminds me of Husk’s candid photo. Ive had people keep my photo despite me saying not to however I had someone SOMEHOW at that school one the fuck up that. There was a cut out from a magazine of a lady who looked like my DOUBLE except she was asian. Now I thought this was cool and it made me feel sorta pretty. This one girl showed everyone and the teacher, pretty much everyone was like “Oh shit that really is you, C!” and it was harmless fun at first. Until I wanted the picture. Again, this woman looked EXACTLY like me. Yet this girl refused and said she wanted to keep it and even carried it around in her pencil case. Yes it wasnt me but due to the similarities, this photo was called me (tbf the fuckin pic got more respect than I did-). This isnt the only creepy instant between me and this girl but the photo reminds me of it. And this tops people keeping photos OF me which happened in primary school. This was me but legal at that time. And asain. It was super fucking neckbeardy the way she treated this photo and stared, often stroking it and looking at me. I just hope she was only trying to scare me. Theres one final instance of a sexual assault but Im just not yet ready to be public about it. 2 here already know. Those are some of my rl experiences and more to come (unfortunately) that show these behaviours in real life. It seems - it comes across - that sexual harassment, MORE SO TOWARDS MEN, is seen as some punchline and not something legitimately horrifying or dangerous. It’s not cute. It’s fucking FAR from it.  Ive already mentioned how putting two addicts together can lead to relapsing, dependence on each other in an unhealthy way. And Ive even mentioned what Angel needs in a relationship in the RD post. Luckily for you, I’ll copy and paste it here: “ We need to think about where both are mentally. What benefits would a relationship give both? How would they be good and bad for each other? For Al, aside from his outdated views and being a fucking murderer and narcissist, he actually seems in a good mindspace for a relationship IF he opted to be in one. Angel however has a very immature mindset, likewise is in a phase of life where hes bed hopping. IF he were to be in a relationship, I’d say he needs a male equivalent of Cherri - someone with a similar mindset yet some differences, willing to have fun and in touch with their younger side, down to cuddle, open to share and receive love as well as not afraid to publicly be affectionate with him, someone who sees him as more than just for sex, someone fun, someone who’ll let him embrace his cutesy side publicly without shame - Cherri is younger so maybe someone who’s his age or slightly younger perhaps? I think Angel’s not retirement home ready to settle and needs someone on his level that can cuddle and chill as well as feels free and youthful enough to go wild with him. In one sense, he’s got a teen girl sorta mindset (dont put him with a teen though, it’s fuckin weird-). He needs someone positive and raw, someone to let him be himself as well as someone comfortable to be themselves around him. He has a habit of latching onto unobtainable men (in psychology, this is self sabotaging subconsciously): Travis the client, Val a pimp, Husk (emotionally unavailable and needs HEAVY self work - interestingly far more than Angel - plus he’s still onto his last relationship and an addict to gambling and alcohol), Pent who’s the enemy he was currently fighting (inappropriate timing), Alastor who’s not interested in another but his own needs [selfish, VERY bad for a relationship]. Subconsciously he’s self sabotaging on purpose. There’s many psychology books as well as sources online for this, if you’re interested. Either way, Angel is drawn to men either like his father [who dislike him, shun him, or are otherwise cold, abusive or just blatantly dislike or otherwise dont care about him] or anyone with money to fuel his drug addiction/’debt’ to Val. Going with any of these men isn’t a good idea. Preferably, Angel needs someone who he doesnt immediately crush and obsess over. Someone who he doesnt sexually harass or assault. Someone he can build a connection with quickly that can bud into romance (think how Chaggie started as a friendship which clicked immediately). Maybe even someone he doesn’t expect to fall for but does so anyways. It would be more realistic as Viv wants as well as more healthy. That for once he isnt sex or money craved instantly, thus doesnt sexually harass/assault and is given a proper chance to develop and grow a friendship and love. Someone who isnt an addict. Someone with an on-par mindset where they click. Someone open to love. For any chance of a good relationship, Angel needs to be with anyone BUT who we’ve already seen. There’s too much toxicity that’ll be swept under the rug and justified otherwise. Too much shit to fuel homophobes in terms of gay stereotypes. Even though Ive focused a fair bit on Angel, it’s NOT just about Angel. That’s something fans forget. Some he depends on or someone who depends on him in the long term wont last and will be very dangerous to both. Just because you suffer, you dont then deserve to be rewarded with ‘something nice’. You dont get to have everything youve ever wanted. Giving him any of these blokes [minus Val] gives him a pass. Gives him what he wants. I get Viv loves him but life doesnt work that way. True lasting growth comes from learning that. Acceptance and growth. You dont get everything you want and sometimes thats a GOOD thing. He’s not a spoilt kid who gets everything he asks for, he’s YOUR creation. If you really wanted what your creations deserve then you need to research and be realistic with it. Because hes starting to feel like a shitty Gary-Stu at this rate.” Sorry for that copypaste clusterfuck. Copy paste is not my forte lol Now Husk. Remember Big? Probably not after the info overload, but if you do GREAT. Big needed love, patience, understanding, someone who could help him, someone who understood and respected his boundaries. I spent so much damn time and now he cuddles up and exposes his tummy because I make him feel understood, loved and safe. He NEVER purred or meowed (why would he need to meow when he didnt speak to humans?) but now he does. He lives on the streets of a neighbourhood with rough folk. He used to draw blood and go rabid on my arms. But I was patient and showed him that I understood his reasons but that he was safe with me and had no need to strike out. I never pushed his boundaries let alone doing it multiple times (the rl angel I know is fucking skilled at pushing cat’s boundaries and wonders why they all huddle up to me and avoid her lol). Husk is an unavailable man. Romantic/Sexual love does NOT heal his wounds. But thats the only thought fans and the team have given on his side. He needs love to ‘fix’ him. The WORST reason to get with someone. Theyre not a project and you arent a fucking miracle worker. Treat them as an equal. He needs a good friend. JUST a friend. Like Big, he needs patience, trust, understanding, and extensive help (arguably more intense than Angel’s). He needs to love himself a bit more FIRST. Someone who respects his boundaries INSTANTLY. Someone relatable and similar, open to love not just sex and not as troubled (if they are, they need to handle it way better, healthily and overall be in a good mindspace). Viv can ship whatever the fuck tickles her fancy, but once your passion project becomes public and funded, you have set responsibilities on how to address and handle sensitive issues as well as having to accept criticism. If Husk goes sober in the name of love (ESPECIALLY with the guy not respecting his boundaries and sexually harassing him), then it’s a fucking INSULT to alcoholics.  I know a few rl Husks but there’s one that anyone who knows me enough knows the man I hold closest to my heart was an alcoholic and spitting of Husk. That’s why Husk’s character means so much to me. But there’s only 2 here who know a bit more of this man. This is something Id hoped to not share so soon, nor as messy. And Im already getting waterworks because this is FAR from easy. I guess Husk became the very thing *I* needed in order to face this. This man was my grandfather. WAS. I cant even fucking accept that. I was a fucking child. I feel stupid being so open about this over some stupid cartoon but it just shows the real life effects this has on REAL fucking people. This man was old and lonely. Always at the pubs. He taught me card games, card tricks and card magic as well as one of his own sons dealing with a gambling addiction. I feel so fucking stupid crying about this- I dont want to open up but its the only way I feel I can get people to understand my side in all of this. This man was a fucking MESS. A closed off, lonely, grumpy old bastard. He lost his love because of his alcohol addiction and never found love again. Never got over that woman. (Shes still kicking and we’re close - im keeping some things under wraps between them as its not my place). Gave up on life and love. Worked hard at his fixation on cards and puzzles, as well as crass jokes and knowledge. But he was very lazy otherwise. Bitter and angry. And you know what? He was my world. I love this man with every fiber of my being because he was the first person to love and accept me for me. He treated me as an equal and helped me grow as a person. In fact... He was only ever happy around us kids. He had hope again. Protected me. He used to hate gays and blacks and you know what? He taught HIMSELF as to why that was shitty thinking. He taught ME about differences in people and to accept it. He taught me that you dont always have to understand to accept. He taught me poker and... swears admittedly. He was a beautiful soul that was broken inside. He needed to love himself. But you know what actually fucking happened? You know what I watched as a kid? I watched as he smoked until every morning he woke throwing up phlegm just to BREATHE. I watched as sometimes the light in his eyes died and through smoke breaks and early drinking how he’d sometimes slip and show me his pain. And we’d have deep talks about it and the world and everything. How alcohol ruined his life yet he craved it. His scent. I remember arguments I wasnt supposed to overhear and growing up seeing him fucking DIE slowly in a hospital bed. The man he was ended up as a fucking husk. His skin was bloated and purple, he was half machine on how much shit he was hooked up to. How he was barely a man at all. He was dying of cancer and he fucking knew and never told us. His cancer meds gave him horrid hallucinations. And I practically spent most of my time in that hospital because TWO people had cancer. Two stunning people had fucking stupid bastard cancer. He was a fuck up. He was flawed to shit. But seeing glimpses of the real him was a fucking ethereal experience. He made me feel like a PERSON. And all we could do in the end was watch him just die. He WANTED to die and you could see it but hed only eat around us to fake fight out of his own hubris and not wanting to let us down. That year, I watched 2 of the only people who ever gave a shit about me die the most dishonourable deaths God could have gave them. Years prior I watched his son gamble EVERYTHING away - his lover, his house, his everything. Hes a moderate gambler now with a partner who never had a history of any addiction. She helps keep him in line as he helps her. But most nights I fucking dream of this shit. I cant even think about my hero because I fucking weep. I still have nightmares. Im still up thinking how I could have saved him from himself when it’s him who was the only one able to. I have to live my life with those memories and I was just a kid. Im a full woman and Im still haunted by it. Even that year is blasphemy and I fucking hate it. I want to take him in my arms, hold him and tell him he’s enough. That its ok and he can get through this. Anything that reminds me of him, I love because I know the other side. The real side. The side not tethered to vices. When I see people like that, I pray they see themselves like that too and I want to help them see it. Tell them that they can live again. It’s better than fucking decaying in a hospital bed. That when people make this sorta shit into a cute quirk it’s not. And it’s dickheads like me who have actually seen it play in the real world to REAL people they love. They arent a fucking accessory to fix for your own narrative. They arent a fuckin performing monkey. At least with Rick and Morty it’s kinda humorous and never played for some shitty toxic ship to appeal to everyone who’s never had to face that shit themselves. And Im like my old man but with more hope and no addiction. I drink and I gamble but I’ll never let myself get that low. Because I honour him but Im not as fucking saft. I wont allow it even though it’s a fucking battle. Those addictions are in the blood. My family history. Its always been so fucking normal. I’ll never knock someone for an addiction or try to preach them out of it because theres often pain fueling it, but I’d never encourage it or toxic faux cures and stupid romance promises as some bullshit MLM remedy either. I KNOW it’s fiction but I want people to see the real side. I want VIV to see the real side. Id willingly for FREE fucking sing that shit if it meant spreading a good message. Because this is fucking hell. FIXING IT: The ship’s basis is too set in stone now - too familiar to change. Best is to never let it be canon. Because you know what else it teaches? That rOmAnCe cures all. Not therapy. Not rehab. Not any REAL work. Just fuck and date it all away as if it’s that easy. It’s a mockery! I tried to be professional about this but when the media bombards this shit constantly, the has the AUDACITY to play like it’s giving a good message is salt to the wounds. A kiss with a fist. An old man dont care for the petty teen drama that Angel and Cherri (even fuckin Al) thrive on. Want this to send a good message still? Angel hates rejection and thinks everyone wants him. Have Husk reject him. Especially because no one should go out with someone whos sexually harassed them there. Been there, done that got the fuckin tshirt. Have Husk reject Angel the way Gravity Falls has Wendy reject Dipper. It helped Dipper move on and mature, and this is what Angel needs for growth and to be more humble.  Husk would be a fucking excellent mentor to Angel, a friend and protector, someone who shows him the ropes like Grunkle Stan like a grandfather figure. To not fall for his mistakes. Husk would be a better expert than any of them plus it balances the power dynamtic. It’s healthy and realistic. Touches the topic with the sensitivity it needs. Not everything needs a ship or romance. Wounds healed that way dont stay healed long. Angel seems more fitting as a son like figure, and he can play that dad like role for him. And if any of the team EVER saw this, fucking take this idea. Its YOURS. FREE. FOREVER. If we wanna play this NDA but still reblog some of the story telling arts and have some of our team indulge in it. I wont sue. Fucking TAKE IT if it means doing this shit right because Spindlehorse have beautifully triggered so many different people and their different traumas to please teenagers sexual fantasies, their own kinks and for a jolly good joke.  This is a bastard long read and Ive had to face the traumas again but if good can come from it then I’ll GLADLY dance this duet again. Stans, Antis, dont even TEMPT interaction. You arent brave sending suicide threats behind a screen, youre a coward and a waste of oxygen. I WANT Hazbin and Helluva to succeed. I want Viv and her crew to do well. Trust me, I wouldnt waste my time if I didnt give a shit. Viv is fucking gifted and its being wasted if it’s not at her full potential for the approval of a rabid army of kids and immature adults who dont know any better (stans and antis). I know she would like a good and decent fanbase. Stans and antis arent it. Tagging you folks because it’s long but yall actually helped me have the courage to open my trap to this. Screenshots are coming later though all of what Ive said is easily sourced. But this has been days, Im sick, im tired, ive been upset facing my own traumas. If any tags wanna help then by all means but otherwise. @honesthazbinarchives, @siaesnow​ (also added age still bc despite the lack of physical aging, theres also the mental aspect and experiences as well as power dynamics side to it, in case youre wondering), @noirellearts, @enchantedchocolatebars​, @galemalio​ (thank you for letting me weep like a bitch), @angel-blitz​, @critical-hazbin​, @what-the-hazbin​, @hazboobhotel​, @pineapple-critiques-stuff​, @devils-advocutie​, SORRY AGAIN FOR BEING A LIL BITCH FOLKS, I feel awkward like my teen years but yeah- fuck it Im old and imma rot soon anyways. If this experience can help then Ill be glad.

[crimsonrae]

Disintegration

Chapter Four

Summary: He witnessed the worst night of her life, he just never expected for her to become the love of his life.

KlausxCami

Rating: Mature

A/N: So, I'm starting to delve into Marnie a bit - sorry her point of view seems erratic, but at the same time that's what I was going for... She's recovering from a concusion, untangling herself from a horrible relationship, and discovering that maybe her nightmares are over with yet. She's a little manic. More of Cami and some of her internal musing/recovering. Please don't hesitate to give feedback. I love hearing from you guys. Please read and enjoy.

Chapter Four

2009

The dean would have to excuse his quick departure. He had files to read, a woman to woo, another to find, and a curse to break after all.

If Klaus had paid more attention to his surroundings when he had been at the university then he would have been able to shorten his list by an item of one. Hell, he would have been able to shorten it before he had even set foot into the dean's office.

By the time he left his opportunity had been lost. Not that he was aware of an opportunity in the first place.

Timing had never been Marnie Taylor's thing. She had been born a week late and as her mother would say... she had been late to everything ever since. Usually, her knack for running out the clock was a fault. An irritation for those waiting on her, an inconvenience when she was trying to accomplish anything, but she firmly believed that for a few moments where she stood in the courtyard outside the doors that led to the lobby of the dean's office, it had been her saving grace.

Students moved past her, ignoring her presence as they made their way to class while she remained frozen stiff on the pathway. Her dark eyes had stared through the glass doors with a bemused intensity.

"...coffee, Mr. Mikaelson?"

Ms. Lankam's soft voice had carried startlingly far as the doors had swung briefly open to allow another administrator to exit. It had caused Marnie to glance up curiously as she shuffled down the pathway, hoping that her tardiness hadn't caused her to miss Camille.

Despite her abrupt exit from the hospital and subsequent purposeful loss of her phone, Marnie had still managed to hear whispers of what had occurred between her roommate and her boyfriend – ex-boyfriend... Ex.

She had to swallow convulsively against the spike of anxiety that skewered her heart and remind herself that Scott was miles away in a hospital bed if the rumors were accurate. It was why she needed to be here because if those rumors were true then Cami was in danger of losing everything because of her. She couldn't let her best friend and self-appointed protector lose her standing as a student, much less anything else. She needed to speak with the dean and at least try to straighten out some of this mess. After all, she had helped create it.

Sickening guilt swarmed through her stomach as she remembered the multitude of times that Cami had begged her to seek help. She should have listened. A dull thrum of pain laced up her side from her mending ribs as if in agreement.

Yet, no amount of guilt nor pain could make her move as her eyes landed on Mr. Mikaelson.

He had turned to the side in apparent boredom – his appearance in itself wasn't startling. In fact, he was rather handsome, not that Marnie had time to truly take note of his attractiveness. She was too distracted by the sudden awareness of something supernatural.

A prickling of the hair at the nape of her neck, an undercurrent of something powerful and ominous that made the air heavier... imbued with something dark, wrong - unnatural.

A vampire.

She had seen vampires rarely in her short life. She had been warned of them, told to stay away by those far older and wiser than herself. It was impossible to be raised by a witch, by a coven, and not know of the other supernatural entities that lingered in the world. She had never been able to get past the sense of wrong the few times she had been in a vampire's presence. As if someone had taken a sheet of sandpiper to scrape along her skin. The entire experience was abrasive and irritating.

But she had never felt it this strongly before... she wasn't even standing in the same room as him. Still a good fifty feet away. Even his name prodded at the recesses of her memory. He was important, but she couldn't remember precisely why.

He seemed to sense her as he started to turn toward the doors and Marnie felt her heart lurch to her throat in fear. Yet, she was saved at the last second by her roommate once again.

She blinked as Cami exit Shaln's office with her parents and was taken by surprise a second time as Cami approached the vampire with unflinching familiarity.

It made Marnie want to scream, to warn her friend away. However, as she moved toward the door, she caught Camille's strong voice as she mentioned the monster's given name, "Klaus - what?"

Klaus...

Klaus Mikaelson?

Horror grew into an avalanching pit within her gut as her memory found the relevance of his name. Niklaus Mikaelson, an Original.

She deftly staggered out of sight as her mind whirled, confusion bespelled her mind as she watched the brief exchange between Cami and Klaus. The press of his lips to her cheek, her subsequent pleased blush before her mother ushered her away.

How did Cami know an Original? Was she aware of what he was?

Despite three years of living together, Marnie suddenly felt uncertain about her friend. Had Camille known about the supernatural world all along? Had she known about Marnie being a witch?

The quieter, more rational part of her knew that she was missing several key pieces of information. That Cami – sweet, fierce Cami – knew nothing about her world... though she had the lingering impression that was all about to change. But the rational part of Marnie wasn't in control – hadn't been in control for quite a few days now.

And so, she found herself torn. Not sure if she should confront her friend and make her aware – if she wasn't already- of who and what exactly Klaus Mikaelson was and pull her to safety as Cami had tried so valiantly to do with her or if she should run. Because after everything, the last thing Marnie needed was to add an Original into her vast stew of problems.

Shaking from her unease, Marnie tugged her sweater tighter around her fragile frame and disappeared amongst the student body.

__________________________

"You know... you're not supposed to get into trouble without me? It's in the twin code."

Camille's head snapped up from her suitcase as she stepped into her family home. An exuberant smile painted her lips as she caught sight of a familiar pair of stormy eyes, "Sean! What are you doing here?"

"My sister gets arrested, and you think I'm just going to while away reading scripture?" Amusement coated her brother's mien lifting Camille's dampened spirits. He opened his arms for a hug and she all but fell into his embrace. She had missed her pain-in-the-ass brother – she really could have used his company the past few days. He tightened his arms around her in silent comfort as he whispered, "How are you doing, really?"

Cami pulled away with a grimace as she tried not to look too miserable, "Oh you know, I made a few new friends – one's named Bubba. Apparently, his sister is doing five to ten, but she'd be able to show me the ropes if I'm ever inside the pokey."

"I hear it's good to have an inside man – well, woman." Sean fought back a grin as he pointedly kept his gaze from flickering to the door where their mother was entering. It would only invite a weary retort as she was unamused by her children's words, "Hi mom."

"Hello dear." Vivian brushed a kiss to her son's cheek in greeting. As happy as she was to see Sean the morning had worn on her just as much as it had Camille, "I need an iced tea. Would you two like one?'

"Ac;tual iced tea?" Sean asked tentatively, as he caught his sister's eye.

"Long Island, dear." Vivian declared almost reproachfully. Camille smirked as she mouthed the words that her mother was about to speak, "Tea leaves should never be brewed cold."

"I'm good, mom." Sean intoned quietly as Cami iterated much the same. Vivian waved a dismissive hand before sauntering away for the sitting room.

Cami huffed a soft laugh as she watched her mother disappear. Another sign of much-needed normal, "Seriously, you didn't have to come all the way home for this. I'm sure you had better things to do."

He shrugged, "Please, I wouldn't miss counting the different shades Dad will turn for anything in the world. Has he reached that angry maroon yet?"

"Stop it." She murmured with a faint grin as she looked behind her to see if their parents had lingered. Callan was still outside it seemed, "I thought he was going to bash the Dean's skull in this morning. The whole experience has been mortifying... but you are now officially the saintly child with a delinquent for a sister. It'll make your sermons even more interesting when you finally get ordained."

"If I even get there." Sean murmured almost bitterly.

It was a tone Cami didn't hear from him all too often and it had her frowning in concern, "Has something happened?"

Sean shook his head in mild dismissal, "Nothing worth mentioning really. Don't worry about it, Cam. I think one twin having a crisis at a time is all the world can handle right now."

"Sean..." She quietly implored, but he rebuffed her again.

Cami found his reticence a little annoying, but not out of character. Sean wouldn't come to her until he was ready to, but that didn't mean she wouldn't nag at him until then. She considered it her big sister prerogative... even if she was only two minutes older.

He derailed the questions pressing on the tip of her tongue as his gaze moved back to the walkway with an inquisitive expression, "Is that Ian?"

She glanced back to see her boyfriend bringing the rest of her belongings in from the car and smiled faintly. He had been waiting for her outside her dorm-like he had promised her. She hadn't been sure that he would show. Things had been a little tense between them since she had called him on the way out of the jailhouse and she just hadn't had the time to pick apart where all this uneasiness between them was coming from; if it was her and she was projecting onto him? Or if he had a problem with the entire fiasco and just was withholding it from her... Cami wasn't sure and frankly, she really didn't have the energy or focus to figure it out with him.

Yet, this morning it was like nothing was wrong between them. He had greeted her with a soft kiss that warmed her veins and soothed her nerves. Had frowned when she had told him about the expulsion, but much to his credit had merely wrapped her in a tight hug before asking what exactly she needed him to do. It made her think that she had simply been projecting her insecurities unfairly onto him because something about their relationship hadn't been right for the past few days and Cami couldn't put her finger on what.

A small voice whispered that she did know, at least one small part of the issue, as an image of darkly amused cerulean eyes glimmered in her mind, and she had to shake off a twinge of guilt.

She was being ridiculous. Nothing had happened. She had done nothing wrong.

But maybe that was the problem. Something inside her wanted to do something wrong because beating the crap out of Scott hadn't felt wrong. And she hated that, and she hated that Klaus had seen that in her.

...but let's be honest here, love, while I may have enjoyed your spirited attack, you enjoyed committing it more.

She had enjoyed it and maybe... maybe doing something she knew was wrong – would feel wrong – maybe then she could feel justifiably punished for how much she had reveled in bruising her knuckles on that bastard's face.

Now that... that was not what she wanted to think about. Silently, she placed the thought of the beguiling Klaus Mikaelson back into his box and locked the lid. It was tempting to blame him for all her current relationship woes, but the truth was she was in a vulnerable state. She didn't want to acknowledge that she hadn't felt like herself in days and she refused to let a brief interlude with a stranger affect her... well, just affect her.

"Yes." She said abruptly realizing that Sean was looking at her strangely, she had been quiet for too long. She shook off her daze with a chagrined smile, "Yeah, apparently Christmas with the O'Connell's wasn't enough to make him run for the hills."

Sean snorted as he thought of the trial by fire their parents liked to put Cami's boyfriends through. Ian had held up remarkably well at Christmas he remembered and by the vague twitch of his lips, Ian was thinking of it too. Sean's grin grew, "I'll have to ask him which experience was worse. Dealing with our parents at the holidays or during a crisis."

"Christmas. I'm not under the microscope this time" Ian said soundly as he placed a box of her things against a wall.

"So, you think." Sean stated wryly as he reached a hand out in greeting, "Hey man, it's good to see you again."

Ian grasped the proffered limb with a quick nod, "You too. You going to be out here long or is this just a quick check-in?"

Sean shrugged, "Not sure. I'll be here for at least a week. Exams are coming up and I suppose I'll have to return for those."

There it was again. A shift of something disgruntled in her brother's expression. Usually, only their father could bring that look to Sean's face and Cami found herself frowning again, "You suppose?"

He shrugged, "I will. I think I'm just a bit burnt out. It's a good thing the end of the semester is so close."

"Tell me about it." Ian agreed with a commiserating groan, "If I have to look at one more graph on emerging markets, my brain is going to explode."

Camille rolled her eyes as she listened to their whines, "At least you guys will get to finish your year. I don't even know how this semester will reflect on my records."

Ian frowned at the reminder of her expulsion. He quickly laced his fingers through her as he tried to gently cajole, "Come on, you know Shaln was blustering. I bet you're back in class next Monday."

Sean nodded his agreement, "There's no way that mom is going to let any of this go and with the way dad is pacing with his phone right now, I wouldn't be surprised if he's calling every lawyer he knows to make this go away."

A sickening stone settled into the bottom of Camille's gut as she peered around her brother through the still-open door. And sure enough, there was Callan, burrowing a path into the front lawn. He was already the angry maroon color that Sean had been anticipating. A dull thrum began to spike up her neck at the sight... There would be no end to this day.

"Great." She murmured under her breath, "Mom's already spoken with Aunt Patrice and Uncle Fred. Apparently, she got them to agree to withdraw funding to the school. Shaln about had an aneurysm when she mentioned it."

"Damn... mom works fast."

While Patrice and Fred weren't actually blood relatives, they had been close family friends for so long that they may as well have been part of the larger O'Connell brood. Camille wasn't sure why it had surprised her so much that they were already aware of the latest family scandal. Maybe it was because Vivian usually played things close to the vest.

She missed the shared looked between her boyfriend and brother as she stared distractedly at her father. Both were concerned over the lines of tension and stress creasing her expression.

Sean took the lead as he nudged her, "Have I mentioned how badass it is that you took an abuser in hand? Cuz I'm pretty sure that it makes you a superhero."

"Definitely, Wonder Womanesque." Ian chimed with a faint smile. In truth, he had been at a loss on how to comfort Camille. She was usually very upfront about what she was thinking and feeling – she would tell him what she needed... but she had shut herself off from everyone. A wall had been erected, and he wasn't sure how to approach this withdrawn version of his girlfriend. Waiting for her to come to him had become his default option... and it seemed to be failing. It was a relief to let Sean take over.

"No way. Cami's too blonde for Wonder Woman. I think more Warbird." Sean disagreed as he smirked at his sister.

Ian's eyes lit up, "Carol Danvers? Hell yeah – I can get behind that."

Camille could only shake her head in disbelief, "Wow, this turned into a nerdfest really quick."

Yet, there was no hiding the glint of amusement behind her befuddlement, and that was all the boys had been aiming for as they tried to coax her into a better mood.

"There is nothing wrong with appreciating a strong female character. They're hot." Ian argued with a sly grin as he briefly tightened his hand over hers, "There's no denying you're a strong female which can only mean-"

"Uggh, I'm not listening anymore." Sean gagged exaggeratedly as he started to wander away from the blatant flirting display that he was currently witnessing, "I agree by the way. Not that you're hot – but yeah... strong woman."

Camille couldn't stop her snicker at the boys antics, "Where are you going?"

"I don't know, Wally's? You guys coming?" He called as he twirled his car keys around his finger.

Camille shared a glance with Ian as Sean waited down by his car. She didn't really want to go out. She had wanted to curl up in bed and shut the world away since she woke up that morning, but life had other ideas. At the same time, curling up in her bedroom at home and not at her dorm held less of an appeal. Sooner or later, she would have to have another painful round of discussions with her parents and figure out what her next steps would be. Being home assured that conversation happening sooner, especially as Vivian had espoused a few ideas in the car already.

Staying home seemed more tedious than necessary and Cami supposed that it wasn't exactly healthy to hide herself away, "I want to go out... but no bars. I've had my fill of them lately."

Ian smiled and nodded his head, "How about bowling? Think we could convince your brother?"

It was an odd suggestion and Cami had to raise her brow, "Bowling?"

"Well, its one sport you can still drink and perform with little effort. Plus, the added bonus of being able to throw a big rock ball at something without people saying you have anger issues." He explained lightly.

It was slightly inane how much allure that last bit held for Camille.

And ultimately, it's what won her over. She didn't regret her choice as she tugged on the used shoes offered by the alley twenty minutes later.

She procured a midnight-blue ball with shimmering specs; it was understated next to the flaming pinks and luminescent greens, but it felt comfortable in her hand. Ian had found a garish orange one that reminded her of Mars as it swirled into different shades while Sean had found one that reminded her of the candy jawbreakers, they would get from the corner market as kids. She was struck by a sense of surrealness. Hours ago she was ready to shut the world away, now she was leaning in to play a game.

Cami shook her head and took her place up at the end of the lane. She gazed for a long moment at the strangely ethereally glowing pins – it was as if the brightness was mocking her. It was stupid, but she took that moment to alter those ten pins in her mind. No longer were these pieces merely glossy-shaped plastic-covered wood, but every negative emotion she had been feeling.

Pin One – worry. Worry for Marnie, for her future, for herself.

Pin Two – rage. Rage at Scott and any person who was like him. Rage at the unfairness of everything. Rage for what she could not control.

Pin Three – confusion. Confusion over how quickly she had snapped. Confusion for Klaus and the odd calm he brought her...even as he annoyed her. Confusion for why that had her questioning her relationship with Ian.

She drew a long breath.

Pin Four – uncertainty. Uncertain of why she was so hesitant to let anyone in... let Ian in.

Pin Five – resignation. Resignation with Shaln, resignation with the fact that she could not go back and change...anything.

Cami pulled her arm back and lined her thumb to the middle arrow painted on the planks below her.

Pin Six –stress. Stress with...everything.

Pin Seven – frustration. Frustrated with being unable to understand herself. Unreasonably frustrated with every person she came into contact with... she was so sick of all the bullshit.

The ball slid from her palm and collided with a deliciously dull thunk to the ground before the rolling glide of smooth stone against polished wood echoed like a helical wave in her ear.

Pin Eight – fear. Fear of what the next days would bring, of how much she wanted to finish what she had started in that bar.

Pin Nine – sadness. Sadness of losing a part of herself that she had not even realized was there to lose.

The clatter of the final impact was like an abrupt roar of applause as those gleaming pins toppled with erratic swivels. All her pessimism gone in one fell swoop.

Yet one pin held strong – tilted and swiveled, teasing its fall before soundly settling on its bottom once more.

Cami blinked in curious astonishment at the ten pin. Of all the pins to remain standing, it had to be one pin she had assigned no negative emotion.

Pin Ten – hope. Hope that everything would be okay.

A beatific smile swept across her lips as she stared. For the first time in days a lightness swept over her, and she was actually able to let the small gleam of hope that had shrouded her every step, blossom a little fuller.

She may not have smiled if she had known about the dark-haired man observing her from the snack bar. No, Cami wouldn't have been smiling at all to know she had gained a stalker that day... but Maddox was nothing if not obedient to his master.

Previous Chapter

[mybeautifulchristianjourney]

Devotional Hours Within the Bible

by J.R. Miller

Growing Hatred Toward Jesus (Matthew 12:22-32 and Matthew 12:38-42)

The heart of Christ was a great magnet that ever drew to it all human suffering and human need. The description given of Him in a quotation from Isaiah (42:3), in the verses immediately preceding this incident, are wonderfully suggestive. His compassion and His gentleness are depicted in the words, "A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out."

This prophetic picture of the Messiah found its perfect realization in the life of Jesus. He was the friend of the frail, the feeble, and the bruised. In those days, men despised the weak. The deformed and the incurable were not considered worth saving - but were thrust out to perish. Jesus, however, had special compassion for that which was crushed or broken. He invited the weary to come to Him. The sick, the lame, the blind, the paralyzed and all sufferers soon learned that He was their friend. Wherever He went throngs followed Him, and these throngs were made up largely of those who were distressed and those who had brought distressed friends to be helped or healed.

Now it was one possessed with a demon, and also blind and dumb, that was brought to Him. Nothing is told of the manner of the cure. All we learn is that, "Jesus healed him, so that he could both talk and see." No wonder the multitudes were astonished. "Could this be the Son of David?" they asked. They thought that possibly a man who did such wonders might be the Messiah - yet it did not seem to them that He was. Or it may be that they feared to give expression to the feeling, knowing how bitter the Pharisees were against Him.

When the Pharisees heard what the people were suggesting, they became greatly excited and set to work to account for Jesus and His power. They felt that they must account for Him in some way, that they must give the multitude some explanation of Him which would satisfy them and prevent their concluding that He was the Messiah. In Mark's account of this incident, we learn that there were scribes and Pharisees present that day who had come down from Jerusalem to watch Jesus and to make a report of what they saw and heard. They set to work to create in the minds of the people the impression that Jesus was working in cooperation with evil spirits, and that it was through Satanic power, that He did the wonders they had seen Him do. So they answered the people's question, "Is not this the son of David?" by saying, "It is only by Beelzebub, the prince of demons, that this fellow drives out demons!" Beelzebub seems to have been an infamous name for Satan, probably having its origin in the story of Ahaziah's idolatry in inquiring of Baalzebub, lord of flies, a Philistine deity (see 2 Kings 1).

One thing to notice here, is the admission that Jesus had really done wonderful works, had actually wrought miracles. They did not attempt to deny this. They felt that some explanation must be given to the plain, simple-minded people who were following Jesus in such numbers. There was no doubt about the supernatural works. We find the same admission throughout the whole story of Christ's public ministry. Herod believed that Jesus had wrought miracles; and in his remorse imagined that John, whom he had beheaded, had risen from the dead. No opponent of Christ in those days ever even hinted that He did not actually do miracles.

Another thing to notice here, is the strange explanation these learned men gave of the miracles of Jesus. They frankly admitted them - but to account for them without confessing that He was the Messiah - they said that He was in league with the prince of evil! The giving of such an explanation of the power of Christ, shows a prejudice that was not only stubborn, but evil. Of course, it was intended also to discredit Jesus by impugning His character. They said He was an agent of the devil. Jesus claimed to be the Son of God and said He was doing His Father's will and the works of His Father. They sought thus to slander Him and make him an imposter, an enemy of God.

Wicked men often resort to the same course in our own days, when they are seeking to destroy the influence of Christianity. They cannot deny the good that is done - but they seek to account for it by alleging wrong motives in those who do the good. Sometimes they try to blacken the names of those who represent Christ. They start evil stories about them, to defame their character. That is, they accuse the saints of being in league with Satan.

The answer of Jesus to this charge is clear and convincing. "Jesus knew their thoughts." He well understood their motives. He knows all men's thoughts. We can carry on no schemes or conspiracies without His knowing of them. We can keep no secrets from Him. His answer was: "Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to ruin." This proved at once the absurdity and preposterousness of the charge His enemies had made. They said He was an agent of Satan. Yet He was not doing the work of Satan - but the work of God. Satan had a man under his power whom he was destroying. Jesus had taken the man, driven out the demon, opened his eyes and ears and healed him. Who could believe that He was in league with the Devil - and was thus undoing the Devil's ruinous work? "If Satan drives out Satan, he is divided against himself. How then can his kingdom stand?" This shows the folly of their charge. All the works of Christ were good works. He came to bless men, to save them, to heal the sick, to make the lame walk, to raise the dead. Are those the works of the Evil One?

One of the strongest evidences of Christianity, is in what it does for the world. In chapter 11 when the disciples of the imprisoned, John the Baptist came asking for Christ, inquiring whether Jesus was indeed the Messiah, they were told to tell John what they had seen Jesus doing, "the blind receive their sight, and the lame walk, the lepers are cleansed, and the deaf hear, and the dead are raised up." These were all works of love, and they proved that Jesus was the Messiah, the Son of God. Men are trying to prove today that He is not Divine, denying His miracles, taking away every vestige of the supernatural from His person, His life, His work.

But look at Christianity, not as a creed merely - but as a regenerating force. Look at the map of the world and find the white spaces which show the effect of Christianity in the countries where it has gone. Was it an impostor that wrought all this? Was it one in league with Beelzebub who left all these records of blessing, who transformed these countries? Was it an agent of Satan that made the home life of Christian lands, that built the churches, the asylums, the hospitals, the orphanages, the schools; and that has given to the world the sweetness, the beauty, the joy, the comfort, the fruits of love, which are everywhere the results of Christian teaching and culture? Could anything be more absurd - than trying to account for the mighty works of Christ - by saying the devil did them through Him!

Jesus gives the true explanation of His works in the words: "But if I drive out demons by the Spirit of God, then the kingdom of God has come upon you." Christianity is the kingdom of God - in battle with the kingdom of evil. The work of Christ in this world - is to destroy the works of the devil. This is a work in which every follower of Christ has a part. "He who is not with Me," said the master, "is against Me; and he who gathers not with Me, scatters abroad."

One of the most frequently misunderstood of all the words which Jesus spoke, is found in His reply to His defamers: "And so I tell you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven men, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven." Does not this seem to refer to the act of the Pharisees, in imputing to the prince of evil - works which Jesus had done through the Spirit? One writes, "The conclusion of the whole is - you are on Satan's side, and knowingly on Satan's side, in this decisive struggle between the two kingdoms, and this is blasphemy against the Holy Spirit - an unpardonable sin."

Thousands of people, however, have stumbled at this word of Christ's and fallen into great darkness, fearing that they themselves had sinned a sin which never could be forgiven. There is not the slightest reason why this saying of Christ should cause anxiety to any who are sincerely striving to follow Christ. It may be said that those who have any anxiety concerning themselves and their spiritual state - may be sure that they have not committed such a sin. If they had committed it, they would have no concern about their soul. Actually, the only unforgivable sin - is the sin of final impenitence. All sin that is confessed and repented of - will be forgiven. "This sin of blaspheming the Holy Spirit is unforgivable, because the soul which can recognize God's revelation of Himself in all His goodness and moral perfection, and be stirred only to hatred thereby, has reached a dreadful climax of hardness, and has ceased to be capable of being influenced by His beseeching. It has passed beyond the possibility of penitence and acceptance of forgiveness. The sin is unforgiven because the sinner is fixed in impenitence, and his hardened will cannot bow to receive pardon."

"Much torture of heart would have been saved if it had been observed that the Scripture expression is not sin - but blasphemy. Fear that it has been committed, is proof that it has not; for if it has been, there will be no relenting in enmity nor any wish for deliverance." Alexander Maclaren

Accustomed as we are to think of the gentleness of Jesus, His lips ever pouring out love, it startles us to read such words as He uses here in speaking to the scribes and Pharisees who were contending with Him. "You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good! For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks!" We are reminded of the manner of the Baptist's speech, when he was calling men to repent. But we must not forget that love is holy, that roses become coals of fire when they fall upon unholiness.

The scribes and Pharisees demanded a sign, something that would assure them that Jesus was what He claimed to be. Sincere and earnest inquirers after, truth always find Christ most patient in answering their questions and making their real difficulties plain. When Thomas could not believe on the testimony of the other disciples, and demanded to see for himself the hands with the print of the nails - Jesus dealt with him most patiently (John 20:24-28). He is always gentle with honest doubt - and quick to make the evidence plain to it. But the men who here demanded a sign were not honest seekers after truth. Jesus knew their thoughts and spoke to them in words of judgment. They were an evil and an adulterous generation - estranged from God, false to Him. They had had miraculous signs - but they had disregarded them. Nineveh repented at the preaching of Jonah - and before them now was a great Preacher than Jonah. The queen of the South came from afar to hear the Wisdom of Solomon, and a greater Man than Solomon now stood before them. But they believed not, repented not. Impenitence gets no sign.

[fandomlurker]

A Ponderous Rewatch: Opportunity Knox and Cameo

We’re treated to something a bit special this episode! No, not the art and animation quality, as that’s…kinda weak this time. Or maybe I should say Brain is drawn and animated kinda nightmarishly in a lot of parts? Well, you’ll see.

No, the special thing about this episode is that it’s written by Tom Minton, the writer at Warner Brothers who was the original inspiration for The Brain! The general idea for Pinky and the Brain as characters and as a show came from Tom Ruegger having an office close by to Tom Minton and Eddie Fitzgerald, two writers and storyboard artists who he would often hear laughing and joking around together but usually couldn’t make out what exactly they were saying. Minton usually spoke low and quietly and was more introverted, while Fitzgerald was much more outgoing and loud…basically already like a cartoon come to life (Eddie actually did exclaim things like ‘Narf’ occasionally in reality, which was an aspect that was added to and exaggerated in Pinky’s character). The fact that these two guys who were viewed as total opposites by their colleagues were good friends and spent so much time working together in secret lead to everyone joking that they were secretly trying to take over the world.

That isn’t to say that Pinky and Brain are 100% cartoon copies of Eddie and Tom—our mouse duo definitely veered off into their own distinct personalities very quickly—but the basic bones of their characters came from these two real life men. That makes me wonder about how surreal it must have been for Tom Minton to write for episodes starring Pinky and the Brain. He only did so four times in Animaniacs (and Eddie Fitzgerald never directly worked on Animaniacs or Pinky and the Brain, to my knowledge).

In any case, let’s move on to the actual episode.

We open to a multitude of bubbling beakers of mysterious liquids and one scientist working alone at night in the Acme Labs. She sneezes a few times, and then exclaims that she’s only a few steps away from curing the common cold.

…Man, Acme Labs is a total shitshow when it comes to their work, aren’t they? In addition to all the blatantly cruel experiments on animals that they do, just look at how lax this scientist is about lab safety. I’ll give her props for at least wearing her lab coat properly and tying her long hair up, which is something most media usually gets wrong. The fact that she’s doing this medical experiment while not wearing gloves or proper eye protection or a mask is very troubling. Not to mention that she’s doing all this while being very sick, if her violent sneezes are anything to go by.

Hmm, that cage is looking suspiciously empty.

Well, well! Looks like our mousey duo is up to something.

“Ahehehehe, oh this is gonna be great, Brain! Narf!”

“Quiet, Pinky!”

OH LORD, SHE JUST CHUGS IT HERSELF! Lady, PLEASE! The fact that this “cure” is piss-coloured only makes it worse.

Sweetie, I think this needs more peer-reviewed, double-blind tests before you can truthfully say that you’ve made a cure for the common cold. You have no proper safety gear on and you’re doing this experiment all alone at night with no one to check up on you.

Oh no. Boys, what are you doing?

So they catapult some powdery substance on her and she goes into a more violent sneezing fit than before. She leaves the room to go “back to the drawing board”, but honestly I’m hoping that she just goes home and isolates herself for a while.

“Success, Pinky!”

“Egad, Brain, what is this stuff?!”

“A new strain of pollen I created myself, Pinky. It causes a temporary but uncontrollable fit of allergic sneezing in man.”

Pinky looks very disturbed by this (although I suppose it doesn’t help that Brain has that very smug and devious look on his face) until Brain says that the effect is temporary. It’s a nice little detail that shows us approximately where Pinky’s lines of morality are. Brain makes his own strain of pollen to cause humans to have severe sneezing fits? That’s amazing but horrifying! Oh, it’s only temporary? Well okay, then. It’s fine if it doesn’t cause any lasting harm.

“No human is immune.”

AAAAAAHHHHHHH! Holy fuck, show, don’t give me a jumpscare like that!

“Do you realize what we will do with this pollen, Pinky?”

“Umm… Open a boutique?”

GAH! I told you to stop doing that! Seriously, what’s up with the way Brain’s draw in this episode?

“Yes, that’s it. We’ll open a boutique and sell ladies’ clothing and pollen.”

“Egad, Brain, what fun! I like this idea, I do! Hehehahahaha!~”

Of course he would. Of course he’d like working in a more domestic setting and selling ladies’ clothing.

…Say, now that I think of it, I think this might be the first time we get a hint as to Pinky’s love of what’s stereotypically thought of as women’s clothing. Hmm.

BONK!

“Focus, Pinky, FOCUS!”

Brain, sweetie, not everyone goes into tunnel-visioned hyperfocus like you do.

“We shall do no less than go to Fort Knox, Kentucky: keeper of the nation’s gold supply. There, we will expose the guards to our pollen…”

Despite the general awkwardness of the animation this episode, I like the way Brain is drawn here from over the shoulder. Very nice work.

Also…”our” pollen? Brain, you made that yourself. I guess this is just another example of Brain subconsciously including Pinky in everything.

“…and while they’re sneezing uncontrollably, we’ll move into the vault and take the gold!”

Brain’s plan blueprints are such a treat. Gold! Gold! Gold!

“For he who controls this nation’s capital, controls the nation!”

Okay, this close-up is a little better.

“Off to Fort Knox!”

“Oh! Wait! But isn’t the nation’s capital in Washington, DC?”

BONK!

“Capital as in money, Pinky!”

Oh come on now, Brain. It was an easy mistake to make. Also “capital” in this instance can mean more than money if you want to get semantic about it.

Brain grabs Pinky’s tail to drag him away again. It’s a wonder that Pinky’s tail isn’t as kinked up and injured as Brain’s is by now.

Ooo, improvised tools time!

“But how are we gonna get to Fort Knox, Brain?”

“We’ll simply borrow one of the lab’s technological resources:”

“The minivan!”

Pinky, are you mildly swooning over Brain acquiring a minivan? I…

This does bring up a point I wanted to make, though. Sometimes fans will question why Pinky and Brain stay at Acme Labs despite being put through so much inhumane and humiliating bullshit. While it’s true that Brain doesn’t much like the experiments he’s subjected to (Pinky is…another story entirely), I’m pretty sure he keeps the labs as his home because it’s incredibly convenient for his world domination plans. These are ACME labs, after all, and regardless of how terrible the experiments are, Acme has access to just about every bit of technology in the Warner Brothers cartoon universe. Brain can find or order whatever parts he needs for his latest world domination plan whenever he wants, and no human bats an eye at mysterious bits and bobs showing up because, well, it’s Acme. Acme is in the business of doing absolutely everything. No matter what daytime tortures Brain goes through, the lab is an incredible asset to him, and he’d be foolish to give that up.

Hello again, Warner siblings! I hope you’re having fun tonight.

That’s an awfully tiny sack of pollen to take for this trip…

“Won’t we get in trouble, Brain?”

“’Get in trouble’? Pinky, we’re going to take over the world!”

I just like the tiny silhouettes in this screencap.

“Besides, we’ll have the van back here by 8 am.”

“Oh! All right, then!”

[Quickly googles how long it would take to drive from Burbank California to Fort Knox]

…Are you sure about that, Brain? Are you really, positively sure?

Oh my goodness, a little winch and pulley system! That’s a little convoluted, but it’s adorable.

“Oi! Nice threads, Brain! But, err, why the disguise?”

“If we are to succeed in our mission, I must pass for an average, non-descript motorist, Pinky.”

I agree, Pinky. Brain always looks good in a suit.

Also he’s on a literal soap box, holy shit.

“So while we’re driving, call me Mr. Perkins.”

A trillby?!? Put it back! Putitbackputitbackputitback!

“Say no more! Brilliant, Brain!”

“Mr. Perkins.”

Oh no, he’s threatening to punch the audience now!

“Ooo, right, right. Narf! Heh, Mr. Per-kins.~”

“Pinky, start your engine!”

So Pinky tugs on a rope tied to the car keys to start the minivan, and I bet we can all already tell that he’s going to be doing most of the hard work for this roadtrip.

“Now depress the brake!”

I half expected a joke here where Pinky would say depressing things to the brake, but that didn’t happen. It’s just as well, I suppose. Pinky’s not usually the type to be mean to anyone or anything.

Instead, he pushes himself into the brake.

This made me curious about how strong real mice are. According to this scientific article, the average mouse can lift approximately 70 g in weight.That’s not a lot compared to us humans, of course, but seeing as the average weight of the common house mouse is 19 g (and common wood mice are on average 23 g), that’s really impressive! Still, for Pinky to be able to depress the brake is quite a feat that’s worlds beyond what the average real-life mouse can do.

Yes, yes, I know. It’s all cartoon logic and physics. That’s not going to stop me from having the headcanon that Pinky and the Brain have both been modified so much by Acme Labs that in addition to becoming sapient and intelligent, they’re basically little mouse superheroes in strength, too.

“Yes! Now I’ll shift the transmission into gear and…you give it the gas!”

Man, Pinky just slams his entire body onto the gas pedal with all his mousey might! You can hear him physically strain against it. Well done, Mr. Paulsen!

“Now Pinky, let us, in the vernacular, ‘take this hog out on the road and see who’s boss’!”

Oh lord, Brain’s on a slight power trip just from being able to drive a vehicle. If he ever does rule over the world one day, I fear he may explode from the sheer ego-high of it.

Anyway, on the way to Fort Knox they get stuck behind a rather slow transport truck. Well, Brain can’t have that! He’s got to get back to the lab by 8 am after all!

“Pinky! Prepare to pass a slow-moving vehicle!”

“Righty-o, Brain!”

Again, Pinky, I’m pretty sure you really aren’t supposed to stick your ass and chest out while saluting. You’re supposed to keep your posture straight.

…What am I saying? Pinky can’t do anything straight.

“Call me Mr. Perkins! Activate left turn indicator now.”

Aww, a little hop!~

Unfortunately it’s the wrong lever.

“…Let’s try that again, Pinky.”

“Narf! Wrong switch.”

He sits down to think and of course he gets it right that way.

Anyone else enjoying a lesson on how to drive from Pinky and the Brain? No? Just me? I mean, I already know how, but this is super cute.

“Exemplary work, Pinky!”

Brain, he just…he just pulled a switch. By accident. The fact that he’s so sincere about complimenting him for this is very cute but also very odd. I guess Brain’s in a good mood tonight.

“But we’re slowing down. Quickly, step on the gas!”

“Gas, check!”

Pinky, no!

Oh lord, he just lets himself fall directly on the gas pedal. You okay there, dude?

“Maintain pedal pressure, Pinky!”

I don’t think he has much of a choice, Brain.

So they get beside the freight truck and the driver of it picks up his CB radio mic.

“Hey, breaker breaker one nine, this here’s Big Red. Eh…what’s your handle, good buddy? Over.”

“The name’s Perkins. MISTER Perkins. Just an average, non-descript motorist.”

Wh—Why is there a CB radio installed in the Acme Lab minivan?

Pinky chooses this moment to lift himself off the gas pedal and then jump back on it in a weirdly showy, semi-acrobatic way. The first screencap has the tip of his tail almost in the shape of a heart, so I had to include it.

Our duo pass by the freight truck. Needless to say, the truck driver is still pretty rattled by his run-in with “Mr. Perkins”.

“I gotta quit eatin’ them double onion chili dogs!…”

Usually people just run with it on this show, but this is one of those rare moments where a human being doesn’t inexplicably fall for one of Brain’s horrible human disguises.

The minivan’s grill looks like teeth here and it’s almost menacing.

Uh oh, Brain’s getting dozy.

“Pinky…I’m in need of some music to keep myself raptly alert. And use the cruise control this time so we don’t lose speed!”

I don’t know why I’m so charmed by Pinky pressing the cruise control button like this, but it’s very cute.

“Cruise control on, Br—aaaerr—umm, Mr. Perkins!”

He is trying his best. :3c

“[yawn] Stellar, Pinky. Now see if you can locate a local radio station frequency.”

“Narf! Wrong knob…”

Smacking the hell out of the right knob make the radio explode into a loud yet incredibly mild generic rock tune. I’m surprised Pinky’s so alarmed. I wonder if Brain—

JEEZUS FUCK! You gotta stop giving me a heart attack with these sudden messed up close-ups of Brain, episode!

“Turn off the radio, Pinky!”

“Heeey! This knob’s loose!”

Aaaand there he goes.

“Oohoo ahaha! What’d’ya know? The lighter works!”

I wonder if Pinky knows what that’s actually for at this point, considering his utter disdain for smoking later in the spin-off?

“The radio, Pinky!”

“Ooo, right. Almost forgot!”

Uh oh.

“Whew. Suddenly I feel downright feverish, I do…”

Pinky has become a Charmander, and he’s not happy about it.

So he’s screaming and shouting his verbal tics all over the place and what’s Brain’s reaction?

“There’s no need for you to entertain me personally, Pinky. I’m quite awake now.”

BRAIN! You wipe that smug smile off your face right now, you little jerk! I know Pinky will be okay because he always is, but still.

One screen wipe later…

“Kentucky, Pinky! We made it!”

“All right, Brain!”

“Mister PERKINS!”

Brain, I think Pinky’s just not into this roleplay tonight. Or it might be your trillby. Lose the damn trillby.

“Fort Knox is mere miles away. Nothing can stop us now!”

Well, looks like you jinxed yourself.

I’ve got no love for cops, but his “what the fuck” expression here is choice.

“Good evening, officer. Was I exceeding the speed limit?”

“By about a hundred miles an hour.”

Oh, is that all? They’d need to be over by, like, a thousand or so miles an hour to make as good of a time as they did getting here.

Maybe this guy is going to arrest them for breaking the laws of time and space.

“I’m sorry, y’see—“

Shining a flashlight directly into your eyes? Yup, this is definitely a cop.

“I’m Mr. Perkins, an average, non-descript—“

“Can I see your license and registration, please?”

And then Pinky immediately interrupts the shakedown with a happy, matter-of-fact “We don’t have any! Zort! :D” and now my mind wanders off into let’s-overanalyze-the-shit-out-of-this-joke-scene territory because… Look at this. A cop pulls over a vehicle from Acme Labs doing about a hundred miles over the speed limit and finds Brain, a mouse in a suit trying to pass as a human driver. Then Pinky, who is dressed in no such disguise because why would Brain ever think of an obviously important detail ever in one of his plans, pops up to say that they don’t have a driver’s license.

…So what does this scene look like at this point from the cop’s perspective? Besides the very rare outlier like the truck driver from before, humans usually take Brain’s word for it that he’s also human, no matter how shoddy his disguise is. There are a few possibilities here, and I honestly can’t decide which is funniest:

1.      The cop can see through Brain’s poor disguise just like the truck driver from earlier can, and knows that these are actually two mice that have stolen a truck and have been speeding down the highway with it.

2.      The cop thinks Brain is a very odd-looking human without a driver’s license who’s been driving down the highway at insane speeds with his loose pet talking mouse by his side.

3.      The cop believes that Brain really is an odd-looking human who has no license and has been wildly speeding down the highway and also there’s an equally odd-looking human man with him who is stark naked for some mysterious reason.

I’ll let you decide which one is the most likely canon scenario as we continue as Brain tries to clear up this scenario.

“If you must know, we are two lab mice out to control the world by seizing its gold assets. But when we assume power, rest assured our budget will result in substantial new funding for law enforcement.”

…

Leave it to Brain to truthfully spell out his global domination intentions for no good reason and then lie his little mousey ass off to try and bribe his way out of going to jail.

Also, again, it’s “when we assume power” and not “when I assume power”. Hmm.

“…Oh.”

“Bwuhyuube… Be--best be on your way, then.”

“Thank you, officer.”

I’d say I was surprised that white privilege extends even to white lab mice here but…that would be a lie.

“Oh man, I do miss them witless teenage speed demons…”

So they finally make it to Fort Knox.

…And I guess the Warner siblings do, too!

The two mice have parked on a hill overlooking their target and gosh Brain, you’re looking extra pudgy here.

“It’s time to make our move, Pinky.”

Judging by the look on his face here, I think Pinky just noticed how thicc Brain’s behind has suddenly gotten.

Nevertheless, they begin their pollen assault on the guards.

Finally, the moment has arrived!

Brain’s head is shaped like a football and is almost as wide as Pinky is tall here, but besides that this is a cool shot.

This bit was also used in the spin-off’s theme for some reason, but now it will forever remind me of the absolute chaotic laughter that erupted when I got some friends to sit down and watch an episode of PatB. The stream decided to stop on this specific shot for buffering and they all just lost it. Most of the reaction was through voice on Discord, but luckily there were some friends using text chat too:

I live for moments like these when we’re streaming shows and movies.

“Egad! This is even better than a Ducktales episode, Brain!”

That’s pretty high praise, Pinky. I love the shadowing done on him here as well.

“Pinky… Are you pondering what I’m pondering?”

“Wha—I think so, Brain, but balancing a family and a career? Oof, it’s all too much for me!”

Pinky did…did you see all this gold and immediately begin envisioning yourself using the money to settle down and start a family?!? And so far in this series you aren’t dating anyone and you probably don’t even know anyone besides Brain and…

Okay, listen, I know it’s established later on that Pinky has wishes and daydreams about having a very domestic life, culminating in that one “Somewhere That’s Green” parody fantasy where he and Brain live together like a 50s couple in the Elmyra spin-off but… But…!

Well, you’ll kind of get a family along with your world domination “career” in a few years, Pinky. It’s probably not going to be quite how you envisioned it, though.

“The gold, Pinky! It’s all ours. Let’s move it out!”

Umm…

“One…two…three…and lift!”

I just realized that out of context the poses and faces in this screencap could look, uhh, questionable. But will that stop me from sharing it? No.

“I believe my plan has a…fatal flaw…”

About 27.4 pounds worth of a fatal flaw. You two might have super strength in comparison to other mice, but it looks like you both have a hard limit.

“I am in intense pain, Pinky.”

“Ditto, Brain. Zort!”

Well, okay, I guess it’s good that you are both cartoons, then. You boys should be able to shrug this off pretty quickly, especially Pinky.

OH GOD!

Is this what all those nightmarish close-ups of Brain were preparing me for?!?

“Fear not, Pinky, for the unwieldy atomic weight of gold will not thwart us tomorrow night.”

“Why? What are we doing tomorrow night, Brain?”

“The same thing we do every night, Pinky… Try to take over the world!”

You know, most cartoons would settle for them just being covered in bandages. Not Animaniacs, though. In Animaniacs were have to know that their removal from under the gold bar was so difficult and painful that fur was pulled out and they were left with bare, raw patches of skin. T-thanks, Warner Brothers?

Let’s end with a somewhat longer cameo appearance, as I suspect at this point Tumblr will have another fit if I try to combine two full episodes again.

The very next episode of Animaniacs has a skit called Hercule Yakko, which is a vague parody of Hercule Poirot mysteries. We get a good handful of cameos from the stars of other Animaniacs skits as passengers on a luxury cruise boat on the Nile.

The basic premise is that the Marita, one of the Hip Hippos, awakens in the middle of the night to find her comically large diamond necklace missing. The Warner siblings are a detective team who happen to also be onboard the ship and offer to help the hippo couple find it.

Before you ask, yes, this is the same episode as the infamous “fingerprints” joke.

Eventually the Warner siblings begin to go around knocking on the doors of the other passengers’ rooms to ask questions. They come across Slappy Squirrel first, who knows nothing about the missing diamond and just wants to be left alone to sleep. Then they meet Minerva Mink and, well, you can guess how that went. Then Yakko knocks on the last door.

“YES?”

Smol.

Look at them in their matching lederhosen! That’s absolutely adorable. Bravo to whichever of the mice had the idea for these “disguises”.

“Did you steal a big diamond?”

“No. We are Swiss hikers on holiday.”

Okay so maybe I’ll deduct a few points for wearing lederhosen, which is more associated with Bavaria and Germany, but claiming to be Swiss. Not that people in Switzerland didn’t also wear it, but you’d probably want to make your cover story as unsuspicious as possible, right? And that’s not even going into the idea of wearing a garment made from leather in hot, hot Egypt. These mice must be drenched in sweat…

“Look at me, Brain! I’m Heidi! Yodelehe-NARF!~”

Well at least someone in this duo is trying his best to reference things from Switzerland.

…Brain is the one that fucked up the lederhosen cultural background thing, isn’t he? Goddammit, Brain.

He just bonks the hell outta Pinky and silently slams the door in Yakko’s face.

After briefly talking with Marita, Yakko exclaims that he knows where the diamond is and asks that everyone assemble together in the state room. And so they do!

Aww, they’re sharing a chair because they are so, so tiny. :3c

“You’re probably all wondering why I called you here!”

“To reveal the thief?!?” says everyone in unison.

Minerva, you’re looking kind of weird in that second pic.

“No. It’s because you can’t play charades with three people.”

“That’s it! I’m goin’ back to bed.”

“So am I. I didn’t take the diamond!”

Man, Minerva really got a raw deal in the 90s. She only has two episode skits of her own and makes a few tiny cameos elsewhere, like in this one. I get that she was put on the back-burner as a character because her skits were considered “too suggestive”—and to be honest they were a bit over the top—but there are certainly ways that you can write a character who uses their sex appeal for comedic effect without it being disrespectful. It’s a shame they never tried to tweak the tone of her episodes just a tad.

But anyway, mice!

Brain is looking at Minerva with…worry? Concern? Confusion? Which is a very atypical reaction to Minerva. Gee, I wonder why.

Pinky is Looking Respectfully.

I’m never going to get over how cute they look in these outfits.

“I also am innocent.”

“Umm… I may have done it! I walk in my sleep, you know.”

Pinky, sweetie, I know you’re trying in your own odd little way to help but there’s no way you’d be able to carry a diamond of that size.

BONK!

This is the very last clear shot that the mice are in and it’s not very significant but I liked the angle of it.

Oh, you’re asking who took the diamond? No one did. The diamond was lodged in Marita’s butt fat the entire time. It’s the typical style of “humour” from skits with the Hip Hippos. Now you all know why no one is clamouring for their return in the reboot.

That’s it for this post, though. I should have the next episode that I promised would go with this one up in a day or two.

See you next time, folks, when we go off to the races!

[bbnibini]

PSISLY: An Obey Me!CYOA – fifty-nine🔖

Reassurances did little for Satan to forgive his own blunders. You were at his side, attentive to the slightest changes of his expressions, intent on making him realise that he had not been at fault for what happened. The Purgatory Hall members did not comment on what they saw, and instead ushered everyone to their living room, asking for their preference of refreshments. Mammon seemed shaken by his brother’s outburst and was strangely quiet until Solomon sat next to him and enticed him to form a pact.

“An equivalent exchange for a moment of my time, don’t you think so?” The sorcerer smiled, any emotions or thoughts unreadable on his face. Mammon frowned, then looked at you as if he were betrayed; the sorcerer did not mention any catch on his agreements last night, attributing his generosity to drunkenness. You should have known better to believe him.

“Oh, you couldn’t take a joke, Avatar of Greed~ At least I tried~”

“Didn’t sound like a joke to me.”

You mouthed a sorry to Mammon, hearing him shout something about notebooks before your attention returned to Satan. Perhaps due to his outburst earlier, everyone’s eyes were focused on him, notes on their hand along with looks of expectation—no one was willing to speak first even if they wanted the study session to start. Lucifer’s warning was received in varying degrees: from indifference to outright opposition. You even heard Asmo say something about how unfair their firstborn was, expecting everyone to study together when he couldn’t even go. Then, you turned your attention to someone across from you.

“Simeon says he has an ice pack, Levi.” You tested. You weren’t sure if you were forgiven yet. He had defended you and seemed worried about you last night, but you would honestly do the same for him if you had ever switched roles. Just because you are fighting doesn’t mean that you stopped being friends. Thankfully, he did not ignore you this time, and instead let out a soft hm, as he stood up. No words, but there was acknowledgement at least.

Sigh.

Now…how do you deal with this situation?

The air was too thick and awkward. Satan was spent. Was it a good idea to continue today’s group study? But everyone didn’t seem to have any intentions of leaving either. You waited and waited, the sound of quill pens hitting paper almost deafening. They might as well just study alone!

“What the—how am I supposeta understand this? Yer handwriting’s chicken scratch!”

.

.

.

.

.

Well. At least Mammon and Solomon were having a more productive time. You squeezed Satan’s hand from under the table, catching him off guard. “Something the matter?” His eyebrows were knotted and he looked so solemn while reading paragraphs of human realm info dump.

“So, got any ideas on how to start?”

His tense expression relaxed. “You were worried.”

“Of course.”

“Not scared?”

You blinked at him. “Scared?”

He leaned his head to your side, unbothered by the public display of affection. For an unlabelled relationship, he never gave you the time to doubt his sincerity towards you. “You were the last person I ever…” He paused, making circular motions on your palm. “I didn’t want you to be afraid of me.”

You booped his nose and laughed, causing him to pout. “I would have avoided you if I were.”

Simeon and Luke’s arrival did wonders on the large study table. The food caused Beelzebub to perk up, and Belphie was happily admiring the pretty “galaxy drink” (fully awake) that Luke had concocted for the refreshments. Asmo was making knowing glances at yours and Satan’s side, causing you to straighten yourself up from your seat and making your not-yet-demon boyfriend laugh at your delayed reaction.  Levi also came back, nursing his black eye with an ice bag, wincing at the pain. Mammon and Solomon were still arguing, making you turn over to them in curiosity.

“What do you mean ya have no notes? Smart people always have notes!”

“Smart people don’t need notes~”

“And smart people can write!”

“Something wrong?” You decided to look over to see what’s going on in their table while everyone was having a snack break.

“Oi, human! This guy’s a total hack!” He pointed at Solomon, who only smiled vaguely at you. “He ain’t no wise King! Can’t even write a darn proper sentence!”

You noticed Solomon’s bandaged hand… “You’re injured.”

“Oh, it’s nothing life threatening. It’ll heal right away.”

…then turned to Mammon who immediately shook his head and sputtered out a multitude of denials. “I-I didn’t do nothin’! His hand’s been broken since we got here!”

“It’s true.” He confirmed, looking over at you with a nod. “I had a tussle with a sorcerer last night.”

“At the mage party?”

“Mhm.”

“With the hot mages?”

“Mhm.”

“While you’re really drunk?”

He tilted his head and snorted a laugh. “I’m still seeing stars right now.”

You sometimes forget that this man was also human like you. After throwing up and drinking a recovery potion, Asmo had been fine—back to his affectionate and cheerful self. Solomon was different. Being a powerful mage didn’t equate to being invulnerable.

“Are you okay? Did I make things difficult for you?”

You saw his eyes widen, as if having someone worry about him was something rare or even impossible to happen. You haven’t seen this expression on his face before—was it timidity? It felt…fragile. He almost looked like a child.

“Difficult?” He parroted. “It’s just a broken hand. Inconvenient, yes. But this doesn’t concern you.”

Any semblance of that fragile child you have seen in him for a fraction of a second disappeared completely, replaced by his usual, whimsical expressions. “I didn’t mean that in a bad way, of course. I appreciate your concern.” He looked over at the other table and said,

“But isn’t Satan starting his tutoring sessions over there already?”

…before going back to teaching Mammon about magic spells.

It almost felt like he was pushing you away, but you thought the idea too ridiculous and dismissed it. He had always been like that.

You sat back on your seat and listened to Satan’s crash course on seductive speechcraft. It was certainly a lot more concise and interesting than Lucifer’s complex reviewers—okay, interesting was an understatement. He hadn’t even started with his seductions yet and you were already seduced.

“Focus on the lesson, please.” He playfully bonked your head with Lucifer’s rolled up reviewers. “Or do you want to get detention?”

“But this is a study group.”

“Oh, I am not shy with inflicting punishments myself. Especially to wayward students.” Or so he says feigning annoyance, but when everyone else wasn’t looking, he had the audacity to kiss your cheek and say, “Feeling feverish? It is the rainy season.” You caught Levi rolling his eyes on your peripheral, probably thinking of something along the lines of stupid normies.

So much for stealth, Avatar of Wrath.

There were many more instances, like a squeeze on your hand below the table, or an endearingly cheesy poetry thinly masked as a love confession on Literature 63: Classics All Over Three Realms. There was a hilarious recount of Emison Beckstein’s novel, but instead of the usual characters, everyone else turned into various breeds of cats to keep the lecture interesting. Simeon ate up the whole DevilPoint presentation, clapping his hands and even crying a bit at how well-thought out it was. It was almost strange to see Luke being the more muted one in their angelic duo. Belphie was strangely active once it was time for Astronomy 18, answering Satan’s questions at lightning speed that it was almost impossible to butt in.

“You’ve read your reference books. I’m impressed.” Satan said smiling.

“I haven’t touched a book willingly for at least 600 years.”  Belphie drawled out, unsmiling.

Meanwhile on the other table, you heard Mammon groan in frustration as he got the answer wrong for the nth time.

“Whaddya mean it goes like this and that? It doesn’t make a lick of sense!”

“Oh? But it’s so simple!” Solomon then began to explain the answer in words you can barely comprehend. You looked at the sorcerer, then at Belphegor and concluded: geniuses are scary.

Your eyes chose to settle back onto Satan, finding his intelligence not as inhuman (irony at its finest) nor as unattainable as the two abnormals. “I like your brain the best,” you didn’t realise you said that out loud, making Satan burst into laughter.

“I would prefer it if you would like me enough to pay attention. Or is my body part your only reason to like me?”

You threw a french fry at Asmo when he suddenly waggled his eyebrows. “Luke is listening, so get your head out of the gutter!” Your action prompted everyone else to do the same, throwing and shoving food into the former Jewel of Heaven’s mouth, a complete caricature of what he once was.

“Listen to what?” Luke blinked, looking up from his notes. Simeon gracefully evaded the smaller angel’s questioning with a random fact about stars. Beel didn’t really understand what was going on, but seeing as his brothers had chimed in, he shoved a few more French fries at the distraught Asmo’s mouth, an outcry letting out of his poor victim’s mouth (something about empty calories yet he swallowed every single piece anyway).

“Sataaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan, they’re being so mean~!” He said Satan but embraced another(read:you), squeezing himself in between the two of you and smooshing both of your cheeks.

“You smell like booze, Asmo.”

“Oh, darling! Why must you hurt me so? :( ~”

You couldn’t help but laugh a little, stroking his head in comfort. “You’re fine, Asmo. You’ll get past this. You always do.”

Satan’s smile was deathly cold. While he insisted that it was fine for Asmo to sit in between both of you, you knew better. He’s probably going to ask to be spoiled later. The thought alone was something to look forward to, and made the gruelling endeavour of studying for the sake of not getting into trouble with Lucifer a little less tedious. And the troublemaker who dragged everyone into the mess in the first place seemed to be trying his best as well, at least according to Solomon who remarked (rather impressed) about Mammon’s astounding mathematical abilities once the session for the day concluded.

Once Satan got the hang of pacing his lessons, everyone observed a drastic improvement on their mock test scores. Levi a.k.a on-the-verge-of-getting-the-rope-for-his-numerous-attempts-to-skive-athan (who you have long reconciled with after a teary marathon of Ghibli films with Beel and Belphie), almost received his second black eye when he unconsciously reached in for a kiss from his unamused younger brother. Satan was crushed into a hug by a grateful Beel anyway, whose sincere thank you, had been more well-received compared to Leviathan’s smooches (causing the third-born to sulk). The said incident had been implored to never be mentioned by both parties ever again.  

Of course, due to your busy days working as the exchange student representative (as well as Satan’s duties as student council treasurer), your vague relationship remained a status quo. You’re definitely NOT “just friends”. No platonic friends would ever kiss each other as much as both of you do. It couldn’t be brushed off as something out of friendly affection either, as you recalled every affection you shared under the sheets as anything but friendly. You almost got in trouble for your public displays of affection a few times when Lucifer had time to attend the study sessions. Almost as if Satan wished to be caught—he was usually better with being discreet at the times when Lucifer wasn’t around. When you ask him this, you never get an answer though, so you attributed his silence as affirmations.

💌💌💌

“What are we sneaking around for?” You asked him, genuinely confused as he led you to Lucifer’s garden. He’s entering this place…willingly? Is this really Satan? He laughed when he mimicked your thoughts, much like J*seph Joestar’s running gag in Part 2—only, this was mother effing Satan; he was no ridiculously buff anime character but a respectable member of the illustrious Seven Princes of Hell™.  He immediately denied your sensible (ha!) claims of him taking interest in your Chinese cartoons, and instead refocused your attention to a small patch of land he told you to enter.

“Lucifer doesn’t know about this spot.”

“In his own garden?”

His close-eyed smile had been lovely. “He’s been too busy to know. Anyway, I have something to show you.” He urged you to enter the small hole of trimmed grass hidden by Lord Diavolo’s statue—an enchantment, you’ve begun to know as he had undone numerous barriers protecting a space that appeared a lot bigger than the Alice in Wonderland-esque “door”.

“Your room?”

He moaned out in approval from afar, obscured by a stack of tomes on his table. It did seem like he was trying to retrieve something from his balcony. “I installed this portal just recently. Makes the trip to Purgatory Hall more convenient.” After the incident with the broken blackboard, you had been holding the studying sessions in Purgatory Hall instead. The atmosphere there had been too familiar to really consider on changing locations, and Simeon and the others did not seem to mind. “Actually, can you come here instead? It’s pretty dark in there.”

Dark? Well of course. Devildom is in eternal darkness. But you held your urge to banter.

You were surprised to see light in a small corner of Satan’s balcony—an artificial sun, albeit small, illuminating a familiar flower on a plastic pot.

“That’s…”

Satan smiled sheepishly as he urged you to scoot over to him. “Mhm. I did say I’ll give you another gift.”

“This…this is too much!” Growing a carnation? In such a harsh environment? “Isn’t it hard to…make it survive here?” Your question was answered by a quick peck on your lips. His beautiful emerald eyes narrowed at you, lips curving up into a smile that made your heart skip a beat. How much does he love you to do this?

“I didn’t do this to make you cry, kitten.” A nickname he only approved of if you were the one it addresses to. He wiped your tears with his fingers, kissing the corner of your eyes. “Look closely. Such a lovely little thing, trying their best to live their life in an unfamiliar environment. Doesn’t it remind you of someone?”

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

“UuuuuuUUuuuuuuU!!!!”

“Hey—! What did I just sa—!”

You tackled him to the ground, smothering him with your hugs and kisses. “I loveuuuu Sachaaaan—” You sniffled, soothed by the gentle strokes he made on your back. Despite his protests, he continued holding you anyway, offering loving words you knew he meant from the bottom of his heart.

“I love you too. More than anything in this world.” You wondered what number that kiss was in your ever growing kisses with him; how does he see you in those alluring green eyes of his? Was his heart also beating out of his chest?

“I don’t want to leave…” you couldn’t help but say, which he replied with a forehead kiss to signify his agreement as he sat you on his lap, back leaning on the wall.

“Then don’t.”

“Sataaaaaan.”

“It’s only a suggestion.” He laughs. “A tempting one, isn’t it?”

You finally stopped crying. Only an evidence of it was left on your tear-stained face. “What will happen to us?

.

.

.

.

…sorry, that question is unfair.”

“We’ll…”

“Think of something?” You finished his sentence for him, causing him to laugh quietly at your side. “Once Mammon passes his exams—oh, don’t look at me like that. I didn’t do anything this time.”

“Huh.”

“Well, Solomon is going out of his way to help despite his injury. And…” He hesitated, yet spoke out his thoughts anyway. He didn’t want any secrets, and you felt the same. “...it seems like Lucifer did not approve of such arrangements.”

You raised an eyebrow, curiosity piqued. “Why so?”

“It’s just suppositions but, Solomon might be involved in whatever Lucifer is busy with.”

You suddenly felt very guilty. “Doesn’t that mean that I did something really bad?” Did you intrude upon his already busy life?

“Well, he was the one who accepted.” Satan, however, reassured you.

“Still…”

“I did say it was a supposition. I might be wrong.”

You hoped so. You couldn’t really know. In fact, you didn’t know much about the sorcerer at all.

“Speaking of suppositions…” ah. He’s pouting again. “You mentioned about a love letter. A secret admirer…”

“Someone I NEVER knew and never made himself known.” You emphasised, kissing the creases on his brows away. “Satan, I haven’t thought about him until you brought him up.”

“Which means his letter is still out there—in your room, rotting away in its leafy carcass.”

“Paper. It’s paper. Say it like how everyone does.”

He made a tch sound, making you promise to retrieve it and have it read once he’s finished with his tutoring.

.

.

.

What you didn’t expect was his impromptu proofreading when you handed it out to him. You never really managed to finish reading it—pages and pages of flowery words and lovelorn promises. Your heart skipped a beat with several of its passages, and were surprised by how…this enigma seemed to know you despite not knowing him at all.

“Clearly this is a stalker.”

And so, your romantic fantasies were thereby thwarted by your cynical demon, You saw him roll his eyes as he begrudgingly admitted the author’s skill with his word weaving, amazed by his vocabulary and prose. “Carnations too. Had he seen my gift and imitated me?”

“It must be a coincidence.”

That, he readily admitted to be the likely possibility. He hated how you made sense; gives him less reasons to ask to be comforted (read: spoiled) by you. “He could be dangerous.” And so, he turned to Freud and his idea of rationalisation. He wished it could have been projection—reaction formation if you wanted him to be more civilised; he can make compromises. Any excuse to inflict harm on the said man, really.

“If he was, then I never found myself to be in one. Much more when you’re there protecting me.”

“I do all the work for him, do I not?” You chuckled and kissed his still pouting lips.

“If you hate it so much, you can throw it away.”

He raised an eyebrow at you, considering the thought. “Or, I can one-up my competition and write a better letter. Letters. I can write one every day starting now.”

Your eyes widened, remembering the embarrassing bouquet he gave you. Oh. Oh. No! You weren’t having that again!

“No more grand displays, sir! I object!”

“No more? I haven’t even started yet.”

You shook your head repeatedly, complaining to him about the aftermath of his previous one. You couldn’t believe the utter audacity of his words.

“You call that a grand display? You have some low standards, kitten. I am inclined to change it.”

“No!”

He caged you in his arms this time, forcing you to meet his eyes. Darn it. Why was he so handsome?

“What would I do to make you say yes?”

Any embarrassment was thrown aside; replaced by evil, evil thoughts. You smirked.

“I want you to be my boyfriend. For real. No secret relationships. Full-blown, embarrassing declarations of love by the school grounds.”

“Deal.”

“Ha! I knew—Wait what?!”

He only answered with a smirk on his annoyingly attractive face, making you realise the answer for yourself.

.

..

.

.

,

Well fuck. You just got played. The letter? Good as gone. Burnt, burnt, burnt to ashes, too eager for its own end to await for the vermilion bonfire on the school grounds to claim it.

Instead, it had been you who was being threatened to be consumed. You shouldn’t have allowed yourself to be pressured into this. Everything had gone according to his plan—he really is a show-off! And you thought he was the “normal” one in their family!

Oh shit.

Exams were coming up after the festival.

.

.

.

.

You’re going to get looks while taking your exams, won’t you? You definitely will!

Try as you will to make it known to him that you were not pleased with your agreements, he only laughed at you, planting kisses on your face. When you asked him if he was treating you like how he treats catty (pun intended) felines, he did not answer; but all it took was a glance at his impish lips to know (internally) he said yes.

💌💌💌

You couldn’t concentrate. Not with knowing what will happen on the festival dance. Not with that big ass bonfire standing there, reminding you of your stupidity. Not with your almost-boyfriend reminding you of how excited he was to dance with you tonight! It was a miracle you were able to carry out your final duties as a festival organiser without letting so much as a stumble out from the many opportunities where you could have screwed everything up for everyone—at least your body had the decency to not do that. You wish you could say the same for Satan. Oh, you loved him so much but sometimes, he can be so…so infuriating. What was more infuriating was that he knows deep down, that you were looking forward for this too.

Was his grand gestures as grand (read: embarrassing) as you anticipated? Immensely grand. Immensely showy. Immensely devilish and so very him. You were blindfolded on your way, a smiling Asmo surprisingly cooperative and tight-lipped when you asked him questions about his contributions to his brother’s grand grand schemes.

You only heard a muted orchestra in the background as you neared your destination. Asmo didn’t let you go, and instead led you up a small flight of stairs—one, two, three…five steps. This must be the makeshift stage near the bonfire where Lord Diavolo would be sitting for the rest of the event. You could hear his voice now, a cheerful baritone that hinted of his own cooperation (and perhaps outright enthusiasm) when he greeted you, marvelling at the unique charms of human world school festivals where he took his most recent project’s inspiration from.

“You can open your eyes now, sweetie.” Asmo whispered on your ear as you felt a bright light on you, eyes squinting at its sheer intensity. A spotlight? But before you could ask anything, Satan’s voice boomed in the speakers. Your still squinting eyes, adjusting to the light searched for its source but only saw the fascinated crowd below you.

.

.

.

.

“You asked for grand gestures and I delivered,” You didn’t! Not unironically! But your protests were deafened by the noise around you. Clamours and cheers, your name mixed in the cacophony of sounds shouted by voices familiar and dear to you. You saw some of them in the crowd, but your favourite blond was not among them. You strained your ears and listened to his voice once more.

“A famous human playwright named Shakespeare once said that the robbed that smiles, steals something from the thief. I didn’t give much thought to his words, thinking it meant something shallow or too humanly inclined for me to understand, but…” he called your name, a sweet and gentle tone permeating his love for you.

“But now, dearest? I feel like I do.”

His words were like a trigger, muting the voices from below—they formed groups around the bonfire, partner after partner, hand in hand, dancing to the beat of human realm music in harmonious cadence.

“My lovely thief, may I steal you away tonight? For the rest of your life?

.

.

.

.

Save the last dance for me, won’t you?”

Wait. Isn’t that—

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬʸᴵᴺᴳ... ᵐᵉʳʳʸ⁻ᵍᵒ⁻ʳᵒᵘⁿᵈ ʲᵒᵉ ʰᶦˢᵃᶦˢʰᶦ: ʰᵒʷˡ'ˢ ᵐᵒᵛᶦⁿᵍ ᶜᵃˢᵗˡᵉ ᴼˢᵀ 1:05  ───|────── 2:53 |◁              II             ▷|

“Howl’s Moving Castle?”

Anime music? In a school festival? This must be Levi’s doing!

“Are you going to stare at me, or are you going to dance?”

“Levi?” Speak of the demon!

“No, Sophie—of course it’s me! Geez. How did I get dragged into this….”

His black eye was still there, but it was healing. Blushing to the tip of his ears, he fumbled as he searched for your hands and clumsily held them as he led you down the stage.

“M-Moses!”

“Not a name I thought I would hear in Devildom, but I see your point.”

Your point exactly? Exactly as you might be thinking right now. The crowd parted to make way for you, until Levi settled you in an empty spot and shakily threaded your fingers. “J-just so you know, Satan forced me into this! I have an event to grind, y’know! You should be grateful!”

“I am. Thank you, bestie~”

You heard him scoff, yet he took the lead effortlessly anyway, matching the strides of the other dancers around you. “You only call me that to tease me.”

“You know it’s out of friendly affection.”

“Yet you dodged and got me this black eye—“

“What, you want us to get it together?” He snorted, his amber eyes narrowing as he caught you after you dipped. “You better make it up to me soon. I’ve listed so many of your felonies and they’re only increasing as we speak.”

“Oh?” You glanced at him sideways and prepared to spin. “What are friends for?”

Dancing with Levi had been lovely. It was easy to talk to him, especially after how you’ve already made up.

“Hey,” he called to you, sounding hesitant.

“Yeah?”

With bitten lips, the words he caught in his throat collected, and with a sigh to lessen its impact—its filter, he finally spoke. “Are you happy?”

That made you think and look back at your memories in Devildom. It’s not always sunshine and rainbows of course, and you would argue that there might even be hostility there at both parties especially your first encounters with them. But now?...

“I couldn’t be any happier!” You smiled at him. “I’m so glad I came here! I’m so glad I met all of you!”

.

.

.

.

.

“I’m glad.” Somehow, the way he smiled back at you felt faraway. “I’m going to lose a best friend when you’re gone.”

…until he voiced out his thoughts and you finally understood. He was so silly, wasn’t he?

As his turn came to an end, and with it, seeing Beel approaching, you kissed his cheek and answered,

“No one can ever take your place, Levi. You will always be my best friend too!”

You might have imagined it, but it looked like Levi was about to cry when you left.

💌💌💌

“Congrats.” Greeted Beel as he linked your arms together.

“…Satan bribed you, didn’t he?”

Beel pondered for a bit as he spun you, catching your back with his palm and threading your fingers once you repositioned. “He cooks really well. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay! You’re right though. You should ask him to make as much meals as you want to take advantage of the situation.” Now, Beelzebub might be the demon amongst both of you (at least biologically speaking), but you were far, far more devilish and equally vengeful. “Do you want recommendations? I know some exquisite human realm cuisine you could ask him to make for you!”

The way Beel’s mouth watered as he asked you to make good of your promise after the festival affirmed that you have successfully turned the tides against your almost-boyfriend. Wordlessly, he guided you to your next partner, a rather sleepy looking Belphegor who was trying his best to keep himself awake.

“Just a little more, Belphie!” You encouraged him, taking the lead for him instead.

“Sleep…”

You laughed and shook your head as you tried your best to keep him awake.

You got to hand it to Levi for choosing good anime music. To an unsuspecting normie, it sounded like it belonged to a ballroom. In fact, it was wayyyy too effective as Belphie complained about it sounding too much like a lullaby. “Ah…congrats by the way.”

“Thanks..

.

.

.

Belphie, your face is too close—“ Ah, he’s almost going to pass out! You snapped a finger in front of him and he repositioned.

“…aren’t you going to say something to me?”

You blinked your eyes and tilted your head. “No?” And you saw Belphie frown as you answered. Almost melancholy. He shook his head.

“Nevermind. What’s important is you’re here, and you’re happy.”

Try as you should to understand what he meant, you could not. Not even once he led you to Barbatos, your next partner.

“Congratulations.” He offered his heartfelt felicitations, and you couldn’t help but blush in embarrassment.

“Why did Lord Diavolo agree to such a…grand (you hated that word now) scheme?”

Barbatos hummed, filled with his usual grace and composure. “Milord is generous and wise. And you,” He halted his words for a short while to hold you by the waist. “You are more than a student to this school. You’re family to those brothers, so family you shall be treated.”

That answer was very him, you supposed--showing not a hint of his emotions or inner thoughts. His dedication to his work was impressive.

“Shall we?” He offered his gloved hand to you as his turn ended. And when you accepted, you were treated to a small, yet rare smile from him. Simeon awaited you on your next turn, a serene smile on his lips as well that you felt obliged to return (albeit more awkwardly).

“Congratulations!”

Bright. Bright! Too powerful!

“You have provided me such excellent material for TSL’s next volume. Thank you, kindly~!” Were you just imagining it, or was he teasing you right now? The way he led you was flawless, feeling his grace down to his fingertips.

“Are you really going to use Satan’s cheesy grand gestures in your next volume?” You blinked your eyes, suddenly reminded of the fact that you’re friends with a very successful author. The fact that you’re not starstruck right now was almost unimaginable.

“The Lord of Masks and his unexpectedly romantic side is very very tempting to explore.” He reasoned, holding you by the shoulder. “The current arc needs a bit more light-hearted scenes, methinks.”

Thankfully, you were able to talk him out of doing it before he surrendered you to Mammon.

“Grats…” He was frowning when he intertwined your hands with his, an exasperated sigh as he begrudgingly took the lead. “Your boyfriend’s scary, y’know? I almost didn’t make it out alive!”

“Make what of?” You asked, curious. “Did something happen, Mammon?”

“!!!”

When he didn’t talk, you repeated your question.

“Gah! Don’t look at me with those, googly human eyes of yours!”

“What. Did. He. Do?”

When he didn’t answer you again, you threatened to step on his foot (empty threats, but it was worth a try) so he finally relented (emphasis on the finally). “I might have…tried…to steal the flower on the pot. I’msorryIcan’thelpit!”

He was shocked to hear you laugh instead of being angry with him. Smiling, you shook your head.

“It wasn’t stolen if you’re caught, right?”

Mammon’s confused look was rather adorable.

“…hey, human?”

“Hey, Mammon.” You parroted.

He chuckled and spun you around. “You’re weird.”

He only laughed at you once more when you agreed.

💌💌💌

“Darling~!! It’s our turn now!”

You giggled and accepted his hand. “Hello, Asmo! It’s nice to see you again!”

His playful way of leading you washed the fatigue off of you. It was exhausting to switch partners every one or two spins and dips. And you were happy that Asmo noticed. “Sooooo, how are you enjoying your day?”

“Unsurprised, but still embarrassed. Probably a little hurt you kept this from me.”

Asmo feigned concern, catching your larky tone. “I’m soooo sorry, darling! But Satan insisted! And, you’re happy he did this deep down, aren’t you? Don’t try lying to me now! Love and lust are connected, however blurred~”

“Tch.”

“Fufu~ See, see! I was right!♡” Sometimes, you hated how right he was. And pretty. What’s worse is that he knows it.

“You’re terrifyingly perceptive.” Asmo hummed in agreement as he supported your back to dip.

“Of course!~ I’m amazing, aren’t I? Praise me more!”

“You’re amazing, Asmo~”

“Oh, darling, I love you!!!”

You laughed as you accepted his hug, a fish out of water compared to the synchronised movements around you.

“I love you too, Asmo.”

The artificial sunset reminded you of the real ones in the human world. The large bonfire at the centre of the school grounds continued to flicker as the music played, and Mephisto's voice echoed in the speakers, cueing everyone to switch partners. Satan was dancing with a succubus, being an excellent escort, and you couldn't help the bubble of pride in your chest as he reassured his nervous partner who stepped on his foot a few several times. Isn’t my boyfriend amazing? You couldn’t help but think, a voice from inside you asking several questions back: Why weren't you jealous? Because you didn't have any reason to be. You felt safe. Secure in his company. You knew he would never hurt you, not on purpose. You trusted him. You loved him.

"He's good at dancing, isn't he?"

Your eyes focused back at your own partner, laughing at his awkward way of holding your hand.

"I don't have a deadly disease, Solomon." You joked, threading your fingers together and feeling the heat of his hand. He pulled away instinctively, eyes looking elsewhere. Oh darn. You keep on forgetting he's injured.

"Did I hurt you?"

His silence was jarring, but not as jarring as the look of shock in his eyes.

“Does it hurt that much?” Your racked your brain over that healing spell you learned in class. It was Latin something. Or was it Gaelic? Oh shit. You were bad at rune magic—

“Never. Not at all.” Ah, he’s back. You couldn’t help but think, focusing on the bags under his eyes, his usual yet somewhat tired smile. “Let’s try again, shall we?”

You thought you imagined it at first: a surprising, fragile side to him. Maybe it was the lighting, maybe it was something else. But he was back, and he was squeezing your hand and it hurt. You felt that weird vulnerability again when he apologised to you, before promptly disappearing when he teased you about your sweaty palms, never to return.

“You’re not going to heal it?” You asked, pertaining to his broken hand. “Not before finals?” He has more than enough magical capacity to do so. As if reading your thoughts, he flippantly replied.

“Mammon’s reactions are amusing.”

“I knew you had an ulterior motive!”

Your eyes couldn’t help but wander back to Satan—smiling and having fun. You were relieved to see him enjoying himself, but he was so far away all the same. You could see however, your next partner. Amongst the crowd was the ever elegant Lucifer, leading a demoness who seemed to be enjoying his company.

“…thank you.”

But before you could reply back to him, the sorcerer had already given you to your next partner (Lucifer), making an exaggerated curtsy as he left.

“We finally meet. Shall we?” Lucifer offered his gloved hand and you accepted with a smile. Satan was closer now, almost a turn away, and you caught yourself stealing glances at him as much as he was. You saw him mouth, Lucifer’s glaring at you with a laugh, and you fearfully turned back to the firstborn, and confirmed that yes. He was glaring, and yes. You have missed a spin.

“I was against Satan’s ridiculous gambades. In fact, I find that my negligence caused a lot of discomforts.”

Gulp.

“If this is about Solomon—I,”

His eyes widened at your Freudian slip, holding you in a cuddle dip. You felt him sigh from the nape of your neck, the hoarseness in his voice, you attributed to fatigue. “So you knew.”

You didn’t want to face him. This was supposed to be a light-hearted dance, so why does it feel like you’re being grilled?

“You should have consulted me first, then again…you do not know the underlying reasons of my anger, do you?”

By the time you had to switch back to your original position, you felt yourself creasing your brows. “I don’t. Won’t you tell me?”

He didn’t answer, satisfying your curiosity with thoughtful silence.

“…I’m sorry for keeping things from you.”

You tilted your head, not really knowing what he meant. “Things?”

“You’ll know soon enough. Speaking of…”

A spin. A turn, and he continued. “Come to Barbatos’ Estate after this. You can bring Satan or any other of my brothers whom you trust. Of course, you can also go alone.”

That was…really strange. It certainly snapped you out of that fairytale-like feeling you’re having.

.

.

.

.

“…hello, gorgeous.”

…Only for it to come back at full strength once your weary heart finally found its match.

“If I become the centre of gossip after this, you have to take responsibility.” You pouted as you accepted his hand, threading your fingers together as you moved to the music.

“I only listened to your suggestions.” His close-eyed smile widened as you missed his foot. You hissed at him and it only earned you a sneaky kiss at the back of your hand as you made a turn.

“So, my dearest; on a scale of flawless to perfect, how do I fare as a boyfriend?”

You rolled your eyes. “Your first day on the job and you’re already up there, aren’t you?”

“The highs of a love realised.” He bantered.  “A luxury a few can afford.”

You missed his foot again and frowned. “You’re lucky I love you.”

“I know.”

When did the music stop playing? When did everyone disperse? The bonfire illuminated only he and you, casting shadows on vermilion. His forehead touched yours, looking down to meet your eyes. There was a smile there, not his usual ones—almost warm. “After this and it’s almost over.”

“Oh…”

He kissed your forehead to silence the dark thoughts looming inside there, squeezing your hand to know he wasn’t going away. Not ever.

“My heart will always be with you.” He called your name. “You are just a teleport away anyway. And we can call each other every day.”

“But what if I want to kiss you?”

He kissed you just then, feather soft before pulling away. “Would you like to make a deposit? For a rainy day, of course.”

You blushed, stunned at the sudden gesture. “I’ll use it all in one go,”

A kiss again, this time longer than the other. You stopped moving already and it took you a while to notice. You were too drunk on the moment to notice anything else, in fact.

“Wouldn’t that be a problem? I’m almost tempted to keep you here.”

“Don’t say that…” you bit your lip. “And I’m almost tempted to stay.”

You hated the thought of being away from him. Most especially now that…you had something. A label. An officiation of sorts—validating your feelings for each other.

“Won’t you trust me?”

He said to you, four simple words that you couldn’t help but simmer over as your happy yet fleeting days with him are almost coming to an end.

Lucifer

Have you made your decision?

And then there’s that—a thought you had set aside in favour of not letting your wonderful day to be spoiled. However you wish to evade responsibility however, you could not. You asked Satan’s words back at you again:

Do you trust him?

💌[ Tell Satan. ]

💌[ Go alone. ]

💌masterlist

[ MEMORIA 10: ~To Deceive, To Protect~ unlocked. ]

[ MEMORIA 10: ~To Deceive, To Protect~ unlocked. ]

💌 Read now

💌Read now (first draft version/private blog)

[ A new option has opened in Mammon’s Route: ~Smile at him~ ]

💌Read now

[yilingradishfairy]

Dying Leaf

Link to AO3 (1770 words)

Written for Day 17 of Untamed Fall Fest 2020 - Falling.

Summary: Wei Wuxian had thought he would have hit rock bottom by now. How much further can he fall? He has long since fallen from the high branch he had flourished on before. But he cannot seem to touch the ground yet, floundering desperately in the wind. His deeds during the war are like the final spectacular colors on dead leaves: impressive, yet they are only the vibrant marks of dying. His soul has surely withered away by now. He is tethered here by only a spare few. Though he cannot be the brother they want, he will watch over them as the protector they need. He will keep going until his body collapses.

Content warnings: Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Whump, Emotional Whump, Canon-Typical Violence, Dark, Body Horror, Cannibalism, but like, Canon Compliant, Still, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Canonical Character Death

I have some feelings™ about that little ghost boy, so I covered the supervisory office scene in some detail. I actually pared it down quite a bit, and I don't think it's much more gruesome than EXR's translation. Still, please make sure you read the content warnings. We’re all responsible for what we consume on the internet.

He stands at the top of a mountain. He's almost surprised that he can stand at all. Wen Qing and Wen Ning left long ago, though Wen Ning wanted to wait with him. Wei Wuxian insisted that they had done enough.

It was enough.

He looks over to where his brother, his shidi, his sect leader lies. He kneels down to hover an unsteady hand over Jiang Cheng's lower dantian, reassuring himself for the twentieth time that it worked. The sacrifice was worth it. It was enough.

He stands again and notes the position of the sun in the sky. Jiang Cheng’s sedative will be wearing off soon. He stubbornly ignores the chill in the air, the one he would never have noticed a week ago, and sets off down the mountain. It feels like he left a part of himself behind.

He did.

Maybe this is for the best, he tells himself as he taunts the Wen soldiers. This way, Jiang Cheng will never find out. He forces himself to laugh in their faces. He dares them to kill him. And maybe I will come back to enact revenge. One vengeful spirit taking down this entire regiment. He spits onto their robes. What a perfect plan.

He's almost convinced them to do it. Instead, they haul him up, up, up into the sky. Higher even than the mountain he had just descended.

Then they drop him into the abyss. Into the mountain of forgotten corpses. Into the dreaded Burial Mounds.

He falls down, down, down.

Then resentful energy reaches up like a black fog, enveloping him completely, slowing his fall. The haze clogs the air so thickly, Wei Wuxian can hardly breathe. He chokes and gags on the thick hatred blanketing the entire area. It rushes into his lungs, crawls along his skin, and batters against his body. He reaches for his own spiritual energy to counteract it. To protect him. To keep it out. But there is nothing inside him but an empty hole.

The resentful energy rushes to fill it.

It's crawling into his nose, through his veins like liquid fire. It's oozing black hate into every pore. He hears whispers, feels hands, breathes smoke. The voices rise in volume until he can hear that it is his name. They continue to rise until they are shouts.

“What do you want?” he asks hoarsely.

The voices coalesce into one. “You.”

And he falls, even further.

Even once he lands on the ground, his descent doesn't stop. Piece by piece, every part of him falls away. Sloughs off like an old skin. He steeps himself in the thick, heavy miasma of the Burial Mounds.

All the souls left to rot here, all the stories with no conclusion, clamoring for a person to pour into. The general of that infamous war that led to the formation of the burial mounds. The countless soldiers slaughtered here. The untold multitudes carelessly dumped here in years since by the self-important Wens.

Wei Wuxian learns so many stories that he can hardly remember his own. The spirits feed him, protect him, gift him a dizi, promise him power. In return for being their instrument. Destroy the Wens, they whisper. Make them pay, they demand.

He travels up to the highest peak in the Burial Mounds. He shrouds himself in resentful energy, like armor. Then he marches down to the living world to begin his task.

He comes back to enact revenge, as he promised the Wens. But instead of one, he is many vengeful spirits, hunting down the regiment, one by one. The fierce corpses, though under his command, retain their individuality. Each Wen soldier is killed however their slayer deems fit. They fight over the ones that wronged them the most and mindlessly annihilate the rest.

Wei Wuxian brings a few select corpses with him to face Wen Chao.

The woman he had scorned and the little boy he had drowned.

"He starved you, boy?" Wei Wuxian asks. The boy nods his head jerkily, eyes fixed hungrily on Wen Chao's whimpering form. "We'll fix that," Wei Wuxian assures him with a pat on his ghostly shoulder.

Wei Wuxian lifts his dizi to his lips, but keeps his eyes open. He won't miss one second of his deserved revenge. He allows the woman and boy to do as they will, watches them hack Wen Chao into slices.

The boy tries to choke down the raw flesh but cannot. He chomps bitterly, stubbornly, until finally spitting it out in frustration. He beats his frustration on Wen Chao’s mauled, bloody leg, and the man’s mouth opens in an anguished scream. The boy freezes, and he looks up, into that gaping maw. He scrambles to tear off more of Wen Chao’s leg, and he shoves the meat into his open mouth. Wen Chao gags through it, but the boy claws his mouth open and forces more in.

Wei Wuxian thinks that he should feel disgusted. Or that he should feel victorious. Instead, he feels nothing. But it worked. The victory was worth it. It was enough.

Afterwards, he formally joins the Sunshot Campaign. It is strange to dine with the living. To converse with his brother and sister. To remember that he has not always been this empty husk, filled with the wishes of a thousand others and one shared goal. He had been Wei Wuxian. He had a place with these people who called him brother.

They try to draw him back in. To recreate the family they had been. But they cannot. He has been cut off from them too long, shriveling like a stale leaf, dead on the branch. The cultivation that they’re so worried about has been the only thing that kept him alive. This is what brought him back to them, though warped and deformed. It was his salvation on the Burial Mounds, and it will be their salvation from the Wens. He knows they don’t understand. He makes sure they won’t, that they will never understand the choices he made and the circumstances he endured. He knows that it was worth it. It was enough.

He has accepted that it will never be just the three of them, ever again. For he is no longer one, but many. And he keeps losing the thread of his identity. Wielding all those energies and stories and hate has a cost. He can’t sleep anymore. He lies down, but he doesn’t dream. Instead, he closes his eyes, and all he sees is them. He lives their stories every night. He feels their pain, their anguish, their rage. All of this borrowed energy swirling inside of him, clamoring for their vengeful conclusion.

So he stops lying down to sleep. Instead, Wei Wuxian steals off into the night, searching for Wen burial grounds. He marches down into countless graveyards, digging down and down to raise up a new horde.

He listens to every single corpse’s accounts. He internalizes all of their stories and uses them to his advantage. "They wronged you," he whispered. "You want to fight on our side." Some of them are persuaded. Some are so resentful, they don't care who they kill. Some rebel, and he simply drains their resentful energy into himself and leaves the husk of the corpse behind.

Before every battle, he amasses a great army with a single purpose. Annihilate the Wen. And annihilate they do.

He had thought he would have hit rock bottom by now. How much further can he fall? He has long since fallen from the high branch he had flourished on before. But he cannot seem to touch the ground yet, floundering desperately in the wind.

His deeds during the war are like the final spectacular colors on dead leaves: impressive, yet they are only the vibrant marks of dying. His soul has surely withered away by now. He is tethered here by only a spare few. Though he cannot be the brother they want, he will watch over them as the protector they need. He will keep going until his body collapses.

Though stated as a hyperbole, Wei Wuxian now knows his claim to be true. Falling to the ground in the midst of battle is far too dangerous to do more than twice, however. He wonders if there was a way to channel his resentful energy through a receptive object, to lessen the strain on his weakened body. He experiments for a few weeks before finding the answer.

The answer is yes.

But now he wishes he hadn’t asked the question.

He tells himself that it worked. The experiment was worth it. It was enough.

At least, the war is now over, and their vengeful goal is achieved. He releases his hold on the satisfied souls, now accompanied only by the stalwart. He continues to masquerade as himself, but he knows it won’t last long. He cannot stay. The living fear him too much now. He hopes that he can pass as Wei Wuxian long enough to see Jiang Cheng well established, and then maybe he can ascend to find peace.

It is not to be. 

He must again cut himself off from the people he loves most. He is grateful to have had them as long as he has. But he has a new cause to champion. One that no one else is both able and willing to take up. He now wields his corpse army, not to destroy Wens, but to protect Wens. A branch of the Wen Sect guilty of nothing more than their name. He leads them up to the Burial Mounds, the only place he can protect them. He brings his corpse army home.

And he clings to that dead branch for two years. A dying leaf balancing on a condemned branch, bracing for the inevitable. He weaves winding tracks into the slumbering Burial Mounds, laying protections, buying supplies, and selling food. But he doesn’t realize. He is just one brutal mistake away from falling again. From falling and taking the whole tree down with him.

He stands there, at the end. He has already destroyed one half of his accursed seal; let them have the other. He backs up to the edge of the cliff. The bottomless pit yawns wide beneath him, beckoning darkly. The esteemed Hanguang-jun tries to save him, another bond he has severed. It’s not enough. Wei Wuxian has been falling and falling for so many years now. He wrenches his hand away, he loosens his grip on the branch, and he falls again. Finally, finally, he hits the bottom.

I love magic systems, and MDZS and CQL leave lots of space for headcanons. I've been trying to develop my own sense of how Wei Wuxian's demonic cultivation might work ever since I started working on a continuation of my You Ignite Me fic. I’m enchanted by the idea of a semi-sentient Burial Mounds. The tortured souls festering within, waiting for their chance for vengeance. Staking it all on one broken cultivator, keeping him alive, grooming him to be their instrument of revenge. 

Credits to @words-writ-in-starlight (link) and @hunxi-guilai (link, link 2, and link 3) for the Burial Mounds feels and headcanon inspiration.

I hope you enjoyed this! Please let me know what you thought! Come yell with me about angsty necromancers ^_^