#I’m dying I’m dying ohhhhhh it hurts so bad

[groupwest]

It is ungodly how terrible I feel

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 296: Ngl, This One Pissed Me Off

Previously on BnHA: Deku was all, “p.s. I actually activated yet another quirk several chapters ago when Kacchan got stabbed.” Compress was all, “[gets captured and passes out].” Spinner was all “[rifles through Tomura’s pockets and slaps a random Charbroiled Hand onto his friend’s unconscious face].” Tomura was all, “SOMEHOW THAT ACTUALLY WORKED” and woke up again, except it wasn’t really him, it was everyone’s favorite Final Villain, AFO. AFO was all, “time to escape finally” and summoned a bunch of Noumu and Absconded with Spinner and the DabiMarble in tow. Skeptic was all, “Horikoshi forgot I existed, but I’m actually Absconding in marble-form as well.” Deku was all, “ATTENTION WORLD, I WOULD LIKE TO ANNOUNCE THAT I OFFICIALLY WANT TO SAVE SHIGARAKI TOMURA.” And then the arc just sort of ended lol.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi is all, “but when you think about it, do we really need literally any female teachers at U.A. at all?” and for whatever reason doesn’t stop to wait for an answer. Midnight, who absolutely did not need to die, Dies, and I’m pissed about it. Ochako wanders the ruins of Jakku for what feels like hours, rescuing small children while her adult hero compatriots fall to pieces around her, because apparently the U.A. kids really are the only people who have their shit together. The citizens of Japan are all “damn that’s wild, wonder how fucked we are now,” but are actually super casual and chill about it which is oddly realistic. The chapter ends with AFO in Tartarus being all “lol time for the prison break arc,” without giving us so much as a chance to catch our breath, like holy shit. Are we on the clock or something now, goddamn.

lmao it’s like 7pm on a Sunday night and this is out already. this is like the worst possible timing lol. there goes my nice, relaxed evening. unless of course this turns out to be a nice, restful, soothing chapter, as chapters coming on the heels of traumatic, earth-shattering battles so often are. yeah, break out the Pina Colada song and the little drink umbrellas, I got a good feeling about this one

(ETA: I mean, I was obviously being sarcastic here but damn, Horikoshi.)

-- fff why did I laugh

it’s the crumbling city ruins in the background that really does it, I think. JUST LOOK AT THIS MESS THAT YOU HAVE MADE, EVERYONE. FOR SHAME

also, the title is dramatic af and I am so fucking excited you guys, like holy shit. BnHA’s In-Between arcs have always been my favorite part of the series, because it’s when all the character development and angst and/or catharsis happens. just, those little breathing spaces in between the action when everyone gathers to recuperate and compartmentalize their fresh new traumas lmao. bring on that angst!! but also, let’s please have some Comfort to offset all of this Hurt too, please and thanks

blah blah blah so the survivors were evacuated, good good, can you actually show us though?

AHHHHHHH

PIXIE BOB SURVIVED!!!! WASH IS STILL ALIVE LMAO HOW. THIRTEEN’S FACE, OMG SHOULD I LOOK AWAY. IS IT LIKE MANDALORIAN RULES. IDK HOW IT WORKS

HOW THE FUCK ARE THEY ALIVE. LOLS ANYWAY I’M HERE FOR IT. FEEL FREE NOT TO KILL ANYONE ELSE HERE HORIKOSHI, I THINK WE’RE GOOD

(ETA: it’s like talking to a brick wall.)

oh my god do we really need exposition about how the heroes tried to stop TomurAFO from escaping and OF COURSE failed completely because they suck lmao. oh my god I am shocked, that is such shocking news

wow they only managed to defeat three of the Noumus. holy shit. again, all of the Not-Kid Heroes are only slightly more useful than cardboard cutouts of heroes at this point, MORE AT ELEVEN

so Tomura may have lost the PLF, but he still more or less has an army then, huh. I really don’t know how anyone could expect a timeskip with that threat looming over everyone’s heads

oh nvm lol there are only seven Noumus left. wait so you’re telling me there were only ten Nearly High Ends in that last chapter?? felt more like fifty but whatever lol I’ll take your word for it

COMPRESS YAY YOU’RE ALIVE TOO

MAYBE THEY CAN EVEN REATTACH HIS ASS. I’M SERIOUS LOL, BECAUSE HE STILL HAS IT, DOESN’T HE? OR IF NOT, THEY CAN REBUILD HIM WITH A PROSTHETIC ASS. he’ll be more powerful than ever

WHAAAAAAT YEAH BOIIIII

WOOO, EDGESHOT, WOOOOO. THAT’S HIS WAY OF THE NINJA

YEAHHHHH SUCK IT, PLF

(ETA: for the record I don’t think Cementoss is dead here, just badly wounded. if he had died he would have been included in the forthcoming In Memoriam page along with the others.)

GET BENT LOL. TRUMPET I FOR REAL FORGOT YOU EVEN EXISTED. I NEVER WANT TO SEE ANY OF YOU LOSERS AGAIN PLEASE. ONLY INTERESTING CHARACTERS MAY PROCEED PAST THIS POINT

dsflksaldkh;l

that’s... holy shit. that’s a bigass mansion, that’s what that is. also so does this mean there are still eighty thousand PLF members still at large, because that’s a plot line I very much do not care about in any way whatsoever lol. can’t we just retcon to say that Re-Destro was exaggerating? I mean hell, a CEO criminal pulling some Enron-type bullshit is pretty believable, isn’t it? those poor bamboozled shareholders

“makeste, here’s an idea, what if you scrolled down to read the rest of the page” lol gtfo of here with your logic and your sense

well those 132 people have made it onto my enemies list, but at least it sounds like they more or less took care of the rest. good riddance

and Toga escaped, as we knew already, and is now on the lam. hopefully she reunites with the League again at some point. although her doing her own thing could also be very interesting. idk what I want lol

anyway so there’s another big panel showing how fucked up the city is, just in case it hadn’t already been hammered into our skulls yet. there’s a car dangling off a roof somehow. how does that even happen. did Machia pick it up and put it there or

NOOO OMG RANDOM SMALL CHILDREN IN PERIL WHAT IS THIS

OCHAKO PLEASE SAVE THEM OMG

“if it falls on me, I want you to have my Endeavor pouch” OH MY STARS. HIS MOST PRECIOUS POSSESSION. NO MY CHILD YOU CAN’T GIVE UP HOPE YET

LMAO

“FOR THE LAST TIME NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR DUSTY-ASS POUCH, KYLE” fffff these children are dying and I am cracking up so hard my eyes are tearing up what is wrong with me

YAY THEY SAVED THEM

but listen. not that I don’t love seeing the girls kick ass, because you know I do. but I also really, REALLY need to know what’s going down with the Musketeers, and I’m not looking forward to waiting three whole weeks for that so please Horikoshi. please hurry this along so we can get to them

goddamn it Tsuyu is saying she’ll take the boy to the shelter to get first aid, and I was all “okay great because that’s probably where Kacchan and the others are too”, but now someone else is shouting for help and Ochako’s all “I’ll go” and it’s like OKAY BUT PLEASE? this chapter is already more than half over omfg. ‘bout to start wringing some hands here

oh my god

is this Toga again??? WHAT THE HELL, THIS CREEPYASS HALF-DEAD DUDE BETTER BE LEADING UP TO SOMETHING INTERESTING, I AM REALLY GETTING IMPATIENT

OR, I GUESS, WE COULD DO THIS INSTEAD

“SO AS IT TURNS OUT, NOT EVERY CHARACTER WHO NEEDS HELP SAVING THEIR SPOUSE FROM FALLEN RUBBLE IS ACTUALLY TOGA IN DISGUISE” HUH, OKAY. DULY NOTED. FILED AWAY FOR FUTURE REFERENCE

but fucking... okay, look. I love Ochako, I do. but I like her a whole lot more when she’s interacting with other characters I actually care about, as opposed to running around in the rubble rescuing random people while the fate of my other children is still up in the air. like okay, I get it, shit’s bad, now if you don’t mind we really don’t have to spend all day here though

...anyways but nope, we’re still staying with her. she’s bouncing around rescuing all of these other people. omg. I literally have no patience here at all and it’s terrible, I know, but oh my god

omg finally something interesting is happening!!

look at that, an adult hero standing around being useless while the kids are busy getting shit done. why is this becoming a recurring theme

MY DUDE, THIS IS SERIOUSLY NOT THE TIME THOUGH

I GET THAT IT’S OVERWHELMING AND THAT YOU’RE TRAUMATIZED AND SHIT, BUT GUESS WHAT, SO IS EVERYONE ELSE. THAT’S WHAT YOU SIGNED UP FOR. JUST LOOK AT OCHAKO! SHE’S SO EXHAUSTED HER HAIR HAS EVEN LOST ITS FLOOF, AND YET SHE’S STILL OUT HERE DOING HER BEST. ONE SAVE AT A TIME MY MAN. GET IT DONE. LITERALLY A SMALL CHILD IN THE BOTTOM RIGHT CALLING FOR THEIR MOMMY AND YOU’RE JUST STANDING THERE ALL “WAHH IT’S TOO MUCH” LIKE COULD YOU PLEASE POSTPONE YOUR CRISIS UNTIL AFTER YOU SAVE THEM PLEASE

OH MY GOD

MAYBE YOU SHOULD!! oh my god I really cannot, like wow. oh no I actually have to save people and do my job, god forbid. jesus christ, at least the other heroes tried. but Moping Hero: Bellyache here is just throwing in the towel and fuck everyone who still needs his help I guess. you are like the anti-Deku my dude

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD NO OH FUCK

THAT’S MIDNIGHT’S HAND OH FU -- SHE BETTER NOT -- HORIKOSHI I SWEAR TO GOD --

I’M GONNA LOSE IT I REALLY AM!!!!

HOLY SHIT HOW INTENSE OF A RAGE DO I NEED TO BRACE MYSELF TO BE FEELING HERE. THIS CHAPTER WAS ALREADY TRENDING TOWARDS DISAPPOINTMENT, DO WE REALLY NEED TO GO AND COMPOUND THAT

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON

you’re telling me Tomura wasn’t brought back by that electric shock, but by his “fuck you” attitude? why are you explaining this to us now, again??

......

HEY, SO UM, FUCK ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS, THOUGH. (: OH MAN. OHHHHHH MAN. I HAVE... I HAVE GOT A LOT OF WORDS FOR THIS AND HERE ARE SOME OF THEM

FUCK

THINGS THAT SHOULD BE IN THE DICTIONARY NEXT TO “SOME BULLSHIT”: THIS

FUCK

GET FUCKED HORIKOSHI

AND ALSO PLEASE FUCK RIGHT OFF!!

AND SERIOUSLY THOUGH FUCK YOU

NO BUT YOU KNOW WHAT THOUGH!! YOU COULD HAVE KILLED OFF ANYONE. LITERALLY ANY CHARACTER. YOU HAD TWELVE FEMALE PROS. TWELVE. YOU COULD HAVE MADE MORE OF THEM. PROBABLY, IF THERE ACTUALLY WERE SUPERHEROES IN REAL LIFE, THERE WOULD BE MORE THAN TWELVE OF THEM IN AN ENTIRE NATION. BUT NO, YOU WERE ALL “TWELVE IS MORE THAN ENOUGH.” AND THEN WHEN IT CAME TIME TO KILL PEOPLE OFF, YOU WERE ALL “WELL ALL RIGHT THEN, LET’S SEE, I PICK... THESE 18 RANDOM SIDE CHARACTERS WITH LITTLE TO NO DIALOGUE, PLUS THE ONE SINGLE FEMALE U.A. STAFF MEMBER WE ACTUALLY HAD. YEAH THAT OUGHTA DO IT”

AND BY THE WAY, HORIKOSHI, I PICKED SOMETHING UP FOR YOU ON MY WAY HOME, HERE IT IS, ┌П┐(・＿・) do you like it it was on sale. I saw it and was like, “Horikoshi would really like that.” so there you go. sorry it wasn’t gift-wrapped

p.s. I hope y’all can tell that that’s supposed to be a middle finger and not... something else lmao. er. anyway

(ETA: so I got a few asks from people who were really put off by this part of the reaction post, and so I’m just adding an extra note here to make it clear that I do not actually wish harm on Horikoshi in any way or even particularly dislike him. I wasn’t happy about Midnight’s death and I wanted to convey that, and so I went with my usual LOUD CAPSLOCK REACTION tone, but looking back on it I can see that it’s kind of a lot, lol. 

so just to be clear, the “fuck you” stuff is almost entirely tongue-in-cheek. that’s on me, I forget sometimes that there are people who share these sentiments unironically and so I didn’t think to make sure my intended meaning here was clear. anyways, killing Midnight was still a really problematic decision for numerous reasons but it is what it is. Horikoshi is not perfect, the story isn’t perfect, and I’m not gonna pretend like it is, but again just to be clear, I don’t harbor any actual ill will toward Horikoshi here.)

shit. and wow this man really went and killed off fucking Mystic too on top of that. have you ever seen a character fail so spectacularly at living up to their hype. r.i.p. Mystic you were like the Star Wars sequel of characters

(ETA: I have no fucking idea why I keep thinking Majestic’s name is Mystic lol. rest in peace you old scarecrowy bastard.)

and poor Momo, though. fuck. lost two mentors in a single day. and do not even get me started on Aizawa holy shit

so now we’re cutting to some random townspeople who are gossiping about the Todoroki drama. this is actually interesting in spite of my newfound determination to hate this chapter lol

ngl I am kind of heartened to see that not everyone fell for Dabi’s bs hook line and sinker though. Jeanist returning from the dead literally two seconds after Dabi was all “I SWEAR ON MY HONOR AS A VILLAIN THAT HAWKS MURDERED HIM” probably helped with that a bit! but there will doubtless be many other people who do believe him, or are at least still inclined to side-eye the heroes in general either way given how much they sucked in this arc. very, very interesting

so it seems though that even more than the whole Endeavor reveal, at the end of the day it’s going to be the heroes failing to live up to their end of the “put your faith in us and let us use our quirks and in return we’ll protect everyone and keep them safe” implied social contract that’s going to have the biggest impact on people’s opinions moving forward. basically this was always going to be a disaster no matter what

OH MY GOD FINALLY AHHHHH

Horikoshi really tapped into some of the real-life political energy of the past few years huh. Fuck Him Still for killing off Midnight, but I will admit that so far this is hella intriguing and I am really, really curious to see where things go from here

OH MY GOD THE LITTLE KIDS FROM THE BABYSITTING ARC

“FIVE PEEPEE MAN WOULDN’T LIE TO US” YES CHILDREN YOU’RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. at least the little ones still have faith

UM

 ( •̀ へ •́  )

that’s great. that’s really keen. all we need right now, amirite

GOOD FOR YOU, YOU PIECE OF SHIT

let’s just wait for him to explain what he feels. you know he likes to drag it out

is that Dabi crouched down there next to Spinner? looks like they got him out of the marble after all. but why has his hair changed colors again lol what

anyways. your turn to what??

:’) excuse me what

hahahaha are you fucking kidding me. and that’s where we’re going to end the chapter then. lol okay

so let’s recap. Midnight died. we spent ten hours watching Ochako dig people out of rubble for no apparent reason and were then introduced to my new least favorite character, and because Ochako is so nice she didn’t even punch him in the face even though she really should have. we did not get any Kacchan or Shouto. we got one panel of Deku, who is Finally Asleep. and the chapter ended with AFO ordering his Noumus to go set free, AND I QUOTE, HIS “MAIN BODY.” and now I gotta wait an entire week for Caleb’s translation to confirm that last part. omg

but it sounds like a prison break is imminent, which is very, very interesting. ...and actually, is it weird that I’m actually rooting for it to be a success? I have no idea what this guy is planning, but I do know that as long as the main part of his soul is still residing in Tomura’s body, Tomura’s chance of surviving the series is close to zero. and villain though he may be, I’m still rooting for his redemption (nice to have Deku on my side now too), and so yeah. so like if AFO feels like using some latent Exorcism Quirk or something that he’s been saving for just such an occasion, be my guest lol

meanwhile this doesn’t bode well for All Might though. or anyone else aside from Tomura, really. shiiiit

anyway. [slaps roof of chapter] this baby can fit so much bullshit in it

[platypanthewriter]

Unless...? (Ch. 8)

Previous | Fic Masterlist

Steve Harrington wants to be best friends with Billy Hargrove.  He wants to marry him–as friends–so they’ll always be together, and he’s going crazy, trying not to be weird about it, and scare Billy off.  Also he’s in a band, and they run a bar.Billy’s buckling under an onslaught of friendly Harrington flirtation.  Also he’s just been hired as the new bartender. For Day 2 of Febuwhump, “I can’t take this anymore.”

In this chapter:  Billy's pretty drunk when he comes back to Steve's hotel room, and he wants to see Steve wear the thongs. 

Billy eventually hauled Steve back out of the bathroom—Steve was content to stand there forever, with Billy’s earnest, alcohol-redolent breath in his face, listening to him proclaim his undying affection—but Billy yanked his arm. “Come on,” he slurred. “Max’s gonna...give up on us.” Steve splashed some water on his hot face, and then trotted after his fiance.

“Did you just bone my brother on the bathroom counter,” Max asked crisply, not looking up from her menu as they approached the table.

“You know it,” Billy said, laughing, and squeezed Steve’s hand.

“Fuck no, that counter’s covered in like ten layers of old hand soap,” Steve said, making a face. “Billy deserves better than old hand soap.”

“Like the alley out back,” Billy muttered, dropping into the booth, and Steve sat too close, elbowing him.

“Like a honeymoon suite,” he countered, and got to hear Max and her brother groan, and watch Billy’s ears turn even redder.

“So I hear Steve has been proposing for like. Months,” she told Billy, who glared at Steve. “You never said a word.”

“He was letting me pine,” Steve said, grabbing the soju away as Billy poured more, and tossing it back.

“Yeah, no more for you,” Max said, grabbing the bottle, and filling her cup. “How come you were still dating that shithead, then?”

“Not enough brain cells,” Billy sighed, and Steve slid an arm around him, then pressed his luck, and a kiss to Billy’s temple, feeling it heat.

“We’re hoping our combined six brain cells are a little smarter,” Steve told Max, and she snorted a laugh—and then smiled a little softer, he thought, watching Billy as he leaned into Steve’s shoulder with a grumbly noise like a drunken bear.

“Thank you,” she mouthed, silently, and Steve flushed. “Be good to him or I’ll kill you,” she added, in a creepily sibilant whisper, and Billy mumbled inquiringly. Steve hugged his head, nodding back at her.

Steve had to half-heft Billy into his hotel room that night, full of barbequed meat and more liquor than was good for either of them, and then help him undress, sliding his hands down Billy’s ass and thighs to get his too-tight jeans off, and crouching between Billy’s knees to pull at his boots. Billy dropped back onto the mattress with a long sigh, and then Steve had to haul him back upright to tug at the buttons on his sleeves, and run his hands over the muscles of Billy’s shoulders to push the shirt off them. He kept pausing to look at Billy’s tattoos, or a couple times because the feel of Billy’s skin was distracting, warm, muscled, a little hairy on his arms and legs, and softer over his stomach and ass. Billy curled away from Steve’s hands on his abs.

“Quit it,” he mumbled. “You don’t care if I do my crunches, right, if I’m not...cut,” and Steve shook his head, running his knuckles over the soft curls that crept out of Billy’s pajama pants toward his bellybutton.

“Nah, you’re perfect,” he said honestly. “You’d be perfect if you turned into that blueberry from the Willy Wonka movie, y’know.”

“...s’weird you don’t give a shit,” Billy sighed, his whole body flushed with alcohol as he watched Steve’s knuckles stroke his side softly.

“If you’re too pretty, people are gonna keep following you home,” Steve told him. “And what if I just like, see you when I’m onstage, and I drop my guitar?”

Billy burst into cackling laughter, his eyes wide. “You think I’m pretty?” he asked breathlessly, and Steve snorted a laugh.

“I have eyes, man,” he told him, and Billy’s smile widened, lazy and delighted.

“You think I’m pretty,” he mumbled, still giggling.

“Of course I do,” Steve told him, reaching up to tuck Billy’s hair behind his ear, and cupping his warm, stubbly cheek to feel him smile. “You’d probably look way better in those thongs,” he sighed. “I look like a moron who forgot to wash his own underwear. Or like, those bastards at the laundromat, you know, that just steal whatever, and you’re like ‘what the hell did you want with one of every sock’.”

“Y-you put them on,” Billy choked out, pushing himself back upright to stare at Steve’s face, and Steve scrambled back, licking his lips. “You wore them?!”

“Uh,” Steve said, his cheeks heating. “I mean, just—just in case you were serious, I wanted it to fit.”

“...I wanna see,” Billy said, drunk and sincere, and Steve couldn’t believe those wide, hazy eyes were lying to him.

He grimaced. “Whatever you’re imagining, it’s probably gonna look more stupid than that.”

“It’s gonna be a religious experience,” Billy said, patting around the bed for his phone, and Steve groaned, rubbing his face.

“Why don’t you wear ‘em,” he tried, “—if you like the damn things so much.”

“You said,” Billy huffed, still slapping the bed for his phone, and pouting, so Steve sighed, grabbed Billy’s phone, slapped it into his outstretched hand, and dropped his pants. Billy made a noise like he’d swallowed a leaking helium balloon, and Steve heard the camera shutter noise.

“You send anybody that picture and I’ll—” break your face, was Steve’s first thought, but then he remembered Billy’s bruises. “—I’ll order pineapple and anchovies on every pizza for the next year.”

“...hurting yourself to hurt me,” Billy huffed.

“I can gag it down,” Steve told him triumphantly, and yanked his briefs off, to another strangled sound from Billy, and more shutter noises. “...I mean it, though, don’t send blackmail pictures to Robin.”

“...blackmail pictures,” Billy said weakly, as Steve set his jaw, closed his eyes, and pulled on the blue thong. His t-shirt partly covered it, thank god, he thought, because his dick was aware there was somebody on his bed even if Billy was a dude, and the friction of the satin was weird, so he had kind of the beginning of a hard-on. He sighed. Billy swallowed, his throat clicking like he needed something to drink. “...take the t-shirt off,” he whispered, and Steve stared back at him.

“Seriously?! You can see how it fits!”

“Come on,” Billy whispered, and Steve groaned, but yanked his t-shirt over his head to more shutter noises. He tried to ignore his stupid cock thinking fancy underwear meant anything on him, and stared past Billy at the ugly 80’s pink and grey motel art. “...you look like somebody’s pulling your teeth,” Billy said.

“...the hell you want,” Steve gritted out. “I look like an idiot.”

“Well, they got me to fucking...agree to marry you, right, you could look like it wasn’t the shittiest day of your life,” Billy said, glowering at his phone, and Steve sighed.

“Okay, what then? Should I like. Pose,” he asked, flexing half-heartedly, and Billy took a weird jerky breath.

“...you really...think you look bad in those,” he rasped out, and Steve snorted a laugh, frowning down.

“I’ve got elastic up my ass,” he said, squirming. “I’m not even sure how I thought they were sexy on women anymore, jesus.”

“You look like a centerfold,” Billy said hoarsely, and Steve—who’d spent nearly a year wondering whether he wanted to be around Billy or just be Billy—felt better instantly.

“...really?!” Steve asked, staring down at his untanned (compared to Billy’s) stomach, and his uninked arms. “...yeah, I’m hot, right?” he asked, laughing with relief. “I know I’m hot, huh, not everybody can look like you.” He twisted his body into a tits-and-ass superheroine pose, pursing his lips at Billy, who made a noise in his throat like he was dying. Steve snickered, and stuck his arm out and up to the side like he was Superman. “Truth, justice, and the American way,” he said, and Billy snorted a high-pitched laugh.

He’d half-covered his face, but he was still snapping pictures, and Steve couldn’t help wanting him to laugh harder, because Billy was cute, pink-cheeked with drink, giggling. Steve spread his arms, hearkening back to a long-ago role in the school production of My Fair Lady. “I have often slept/in this room before,” he began, throwing his arms wide, “—but the carpet always stayed beneath my feet before. All at once am IIIII/several stories hiiiiiigh/knowing I’m in the room where you aaaaare—” he sang, and Billy burst out laughing, letting himself fall backwards on the bed cackling, his hands over his face.

Steve climbed up on the bed again, sitting on Billy’s legs like they were five, and kept going. “AND OHHHHHH, THE TOWERING FEELING,” he belted out, “—JUST TO KNOOOOW/SOMEHOW YOU ARE NEAR—”

Billy shoved at him, laughing so hard he couldn’t breathe, and turning a little to bury his face in the pillows.

Steve beamed, taking a quick breath. “THE OHHHHVERPOWERING FEELING/THAT ANY SECOND YOU MAY SUDDENLY APPEAR—” he paused, because the neighbors were banging on the walls again, and put his hands on his hips.

“Oh my god,” Billy wheezed, wiping tears from his eyes. “Stop, stop, before they throw us out, jesus christ you fucking loon.”

“Maybe they prefer Elton John,” Steve said thoughtfully, opening his mouth to try some of Your Song, and Billy tackled him to the bed, both hands over Steve’s mouth, which was suddenly kind of awkward, as Steve remembered he was wearing only a thong. He tried to sort of hum that he was disarmed and un-dangerous, but Billy glowered suspiciously, leaning harder to hold his hands over Steve’s mouth, his mouth still quirked as he shook a little with suppressed snickering.

Steve tried not to squirm. Billy’s pajama pants were soft and thin, and Steve could feel thigh muscles through them. Billy’s butt hovered right over his dick, barely bound by the scrap of satin and lace, and it was hard to think of anything but that couple of inches of space between Billy feeling safe as friends, and finding out Steve got idiotically turned on by people thinking he was funny and hot.

Billy was panting, still out of breath from laughing, his chest and abs flexing right before Steve’s eyes, so he closed them, feeling the heat spread over his face. “You gonna behave?” he hissed, and Steve considered shaking his head, so Billy would just...stay on top of him, maybe, maybe fell asleep there, while Steve spent an agonizing night trying not to squirm and Billy breathed contentedly into his neck.

He nodded, instead, and Billy pushed himself up to stretch.

“You’re insane,” he commented.

“Everybody serenades fiances,” Steve said indignantly. “I could read you poetry instead.”

“Holy fuck, no,” Billy hissed, reaching to slap a hand over Steve’s face again, and Steve kissed his hand. He snatched it back like Steve had burned him, swinging his leg off Steve to curl his whole body into the pillows, groaning. “Why are you like this,” he sighed, still laughing.

“You love me,” Steve pointed out, biting his lip uncertainly, and Billy sighed again.

“Yeah.”

Steve dropped down next to him, his shoulder against Billy’s back, and imagined he and Billy in their suits. “We got a fitting tomorrow,” he said softly. “For the suits.”

“...yeah, I know,” Billy said, leaning back against him. “You gonna wear the blue thong? Something borrowed and everything?”

Steve laughed. “Oh. I was thinking white lace. Weddings. Y’know.”

“You...thought about it,” Billy mumbled.

“Dude, I’ve done nothing but think about it,” Steve told him, pushing himself up on his elbows. “I keep thinking you’re gonna say it was all a joke. Thongs, seriously? I’ll wear ‘em every damn day if it keeps you around, man.”

“...bro,” Billy said, laughing into his pillow with kind of a whine.

“Yeah,” Steve agreed, grimacing. He swung his legs off the bed, and grabbed his jeans off the floor. “I’m gonna shower,” he told Billy, who was sounding sleepy, and saw what was probably a nod.

In the bathroom, he stared at himself in the mirror again, and felt less shitty about being a man in satin and lace, because really, people could just...wear things, he figured, it wasn’t like the fabric cared. Billy’d looked happy as he laughed, and Steve smiled at the thought, and flexed again in the mirror. He was half-tempted to get a little apron or something and make Billy laugh his ass off again.

His dick still hadn’t gotten the message that it wouldn’t be getting any action, and he tried to ignore it fully peeking over the top of the elastic, and the damp spot from his reaction to getting thrown down on a bed. It’d be actually and metaphorically hard to sleep next to Billy without taking care of it, though, and he let himself thumb over the tip, biting back a groan, and trying not to think anything weird about Billy’s weight on him, or the muscles of his forearms as he held Steve down by the face.

He reminded himself of Tommy shoving his hand away, and stalking out of his life, and tried to think about tits as he climbed in the shower, his shoulders hunched.

The feeling wasn’t really the same, he told himself—he knew what he was feeling, watching a woman squeeze into a dress, and thinking about peeling her out of it, but it’d never been clear, as he tried to dress up like Han Solo, what exactly he wanted—to kiss him, or be him, or just be...as cool as him, or maybe just to have a janky spaceship to share with his very best friend.

He peeled out of the thong, his cheeks burning, and stepped into the shower, soaping his hand up. It only took a few yanks before he came over his fingers, thinking annoyingly neither of Billy nor an anonymous woman’s mouth, but ofTommy, how he’d shoved Steve against the doorjamb, and said “Yeah, why shouldn’t I go over to Carol’s again? What you got that’s better than her, huh?”

Steve had been bewildered when Tommy started yanking at his pants, but also drunk, and horny from the porn. The woman onscreen was still panting and begging, her tits jiggling, and it was hot with the heat of an Indiana summer, but their beers were cold. The sound of distant frogs nearly drowned out the grunting on the screen. Tommy’s hands were hot and tight, and at nineteen it didn’t take much. Steve’d woken deep under the surface of a hangover, looking around at his limp, sticky cock half out of his pants, and taken a shower before he even remembered what had happened the night before.

Tommy’d never picked up his calls again.

It hadn’t even been his idea, Steve didn’t think, scrubbing at his hair as his brain went over the familiar ground—Tommy’d yanked at his jeans, while Steve stared like a drunk idiot. He tried to remember—again—whether he’d leaned in too far, or seemed too willing, and growled, sticking his head under the showerhead.

After he towelled off, he slid into bed behind Billy, and slid an arm around him. Billy snorted powerfully, smacking his lips, and rolled over to grapple Steve in closer, smacking a kiss to Steve’s jaw. “...love...babe,” he mumbled, nuzzling his head into Steve’s neck, and tossing a thigh over his legs.

Steve lay motionless, his heart pounding, staring at the ceiling.

In the morning, Billy insisted they couldn’t be fitted together, and see each other before the wedding. Then he drove home.

After the gig the next night, Steve drove home after him. He slowed as he passed Billy’s apartment, but it was four-fifteen in the morning, and he was pretty sure that was grounds for divorce.

He couldn’t stop grinning, and typing text drafts to Billy he didn’t send, and checking the time, so finally he just cleaned—he scrubbed the whole fridge, and pulled all the popsicles and discount steak out to defrost the freezer. If he’d been female, he thought, with kind of a shivery feeling in his stomach, he’d have eaten the popsicles when Billy was over—just sucked them down until he gave himself brain freeze, leaning his head back so Billy could see the muscles working in his cheeks and throat. Steve bit his lips together, sighing, and gripped the counter, wishing the stupid, useless image wasn’t stuck in his head.

The sheets smelled kinda stale, so he washed them, and put another load of laundry in, before checking the time again, seeing it was too early to take Billy any breakfast, and flopping face-first on the couch with a groan.

He awoke to his phone ringing, and answered in a grunted slur of syllables even he couldn’t identify. It was Joyce Byers’ voice, he registered, his brain feeling like its tires were spinning in mud.

“Billy’s sick,” she told him. “He sounds awful. He’s by himself.”

“Enh,” Steve said. “Grungh.”

“...I thought you might be on the road,” she said. “Weren’t you coming back today?”

“M’I’m,” Steve mumbled, and rolled half on his side to prop himself up. “M’here. Drove...las’night.”

“Sorry to wake you, sweetie,” she said, sounding suspiciously like she was laughing. “He’s just as impatient to see you, hon. That’s why I called. He was smiling all night. I had to pinch his pink cheeks.”

“...my pink cheeks,” Steve muttered indignantly, and she laughed again.

“Go take him some cold medicine, okay? Maybe something hot to eat?”

Steve slapped his face a few times to try and get his brain back online, blinked, and frowned worriedly. “Is—is he okay?”

“Sounds like a question for the man himself. We’ve got this, if you don’t want to come in tonight,” she said. “Tell him not to worry about anything, and feel better!”

“O-okay,” Steve said, nodding.

“Make him take a nap too, sweetie,” she said, and hung up. Steve blinked at his phone, and then called Billy.

He didn’t answer.

Steve grimaced, sat down to work on the chords for his nearly-finished song, couldn’t focus, and cleaned the garage. He tried again an hour later, and got no response, so he waited a couple more hours, did all the dishes, and scrubbed the stove.

He kept thinking about being sick, and he started to want soup, so he rummaged through his cupboards, and then pulled out the cookbook Joyce had helped him pick out when he first started living on his own. It had chicken soup in it, and Steve studied the ingredients carefully, jotting them down.

When he got to the part of the recipe that said ‘if using noodles, add them now,’ he stalled out, staring helplessly. He side-eyed the phone, and didn’t call again—Billy was probably asleep, he reminded himself, and there Steve was, waking him up every god damn hour.

He went out and bought sick-person groceries—the soup ingredients, obviously. Kleenex, benadryl, cough syrup, cough drops—and popsicles in case Billy had a sore throat. He got two whole boxes, resolutely not thinking about either of them actually eating them. He got a loaf of bread to slice for thick crunchy toast, and a carton of eggs to soft-boil. He threw some fluffy slippers by the register in, and then circled around again when he remembered tea.

When he knocked on Billy’s door, he kept it fairly quiet, and busied himself setting up a bag with all the things Billy might want—there was no point in giving a sick person the raw carrots for the chicken soup. Just as he was trying to remember whether Billy had a toaster oven, the door opened, and Billy stared down at him, wrapped in a blanket. His nose and lips were red, chapped and peeling.

“Sorry I woke you up, I’ll go away,” Steve told him, standing up, and grabbing both bags of groceries. “But I just need to ask, rice or noodles?”

“Why are you going away,” Billy croaked.

“I, um,” Steve stumbled, uncertain. “But uh, I’m—I’m making chicken soup, so: rice, or noodles?”

“...you’re making me soup?” Billy sighed, leaning against the door jamb. “...what are you doing out here?”

“I brought you stuff,” Steve told him, wincing. “Uh, is it—can I come in?” Billy backed away, tottering over to blow his nose, and Steve came in and kicked the door shut with his feet.

It was both humid and cold, and Steve grimaced into the dim light, watching Billy curl up on the corner of the couch in his jeans and the sweatshirt from their work. He was surrounded by used kleenex. “...I brought…” Steve trailed off, as Billy tried to tuck the blanket over his toes, and not pull it off his head. “...why’s it so cold in here?” he asked, and Billy’s head jerked up.

“It’s fucking cold, right?! I knew the fucking thermostat wasn’t working—” he stopped, sighing.

“Okay, no,” Steve announced. “You’re coming to my place. I promise not to make you sign any, like, prenuptials, come on.”

“...I’m sick,” Billy told him, petulantly, as Steve found his shoes.

“That would be why,” Steve told him, battling to get one arm out of the blanket at a time, and push Billy’s arms into his coat. “You can figure out the thermostat later—I’ll call and fight with them, if you want—but I can see my breath in here.”

Billy submitted to being bundled down the stairs in untied shoes, his coat on, and his blanket wrapped around it, and Steve loaded the groceries back in, handing Billy the box of tissues.

“So,” Steve asked, as he shifted into reverse. “Noodles or rice? I bought both. We could try both, I guess,” he said, considering, and then realized Billy was trying to cover a laugh, which turned into a racking cough. He sounded like the seals at the zoo.

“I don’t give a shit,” he said, finally, when he could talk.

All my Harringrove fic!

[thesevenwondersofawitch]

SPOILERS FOR CAOS PART 4

Chapter Thirty-Four: The Returned, episode reaction.

Of course Wardwell is continuing Faustus's work.

Nothing like a good ole scary movie to make out to.

Nick copying Harvey with the chasing Sabrina makes me mad.

Sabrina is acting like a cock blocker for herself. 😂

Annnnnnd she's dead.

WHAT DID SPELLMAN HAVE TO DO?!

I am disturbed by Sabrina preparing to bury her body.

TF FAUSTUS?

I'm not one to say I told you so, so- AMBROSE TOLD YOU SO, SABRINA! IT WOULD TEAR THE UNIVERSE APART, BIT YOU DIDN'T LISTEN, DID YOU? AND NOW THE WORLD IS ENDING (in Mrs. Weasley voice) IT'S ALL YOU'RE FAULT!

Well hello again, Mr. Trinket Man.

I was going to say it would be a bad idea to give him back the Imp, but then again, at least the world didn't try to collapse on itself when he had it in his possession. At least I hope not.

Sabrina, nothing good can come of Pandora's box. Keep your hands in your pockets and do not touch anything.

Oh it's empty.

Well she has to die.

THAT MEANS SALEM WILL DIE TOO! NOOOOOOOOOO!

It really says THE VOID. huh.🤔

Salem's come to tell them.

THEY CAN'T GET HER!

How are they gonna get her soul, I wonder.

THE VOID is talking to her. Cool. 🙂

Isn't Sabrina really just sucking the planets into Pandora's box?

AMBROSE NO!

IT'S NOT OVER, YOU SHOULD HAVE LEFT HER THERE, YOU FOOLISH SENTIMENTAL WITCHES!😳

Lilith was watching Sabrina and Nick, creeeeepy.

Mary is sewing Faustus's head back on. Lovely.

Mary gets to be a preacher. Yay.

Vinegar Tom doesn't even like blueberries, and Zelda's love for him makes me so happy.

Lilith has a plan, and I'm here for it.

Caliban is so manipulative, and I am not here for that.

Lilith is suspicious, and that is good.

NOT MR. KINKLE AND HIS BUDIES!

Cool, the candy is gone.

THE CAKE IS GONE TOO.

Zelda has a sweet tooth, which I love.

LUCIFER HAS CONE FOR SABRINA'S BODY.

AND THE VOID HAS COME!

OH NO HARVEY'S DAD!

LILITH KNEW WHAT WOULD HAPPEN, DIDN'T SHE!

YEAH STAB HIM WHERE IT HURTS!

Drinking his blood, cool cool cool.

OH SHIT SABRINA SENT PEOPLE AWAY!

Yasssss ALL HAIL QUEEN LILITH!

NOT TODAY SATAN!

Oh dear, Sabrina is a void.

But not void of emotions.

Annnnnnd she's gone.

Again with Ms. Wardwell.

Faustus, seriously?

Oh lord, he's manipulative. But that won't work in the end I shouldn't think.

You know what I would like, Blackwood, to punch you in the face.

Two weeks laterm

I KNEW IT WOULD BE PRUDENCE, AMBROSE! Thought it would also be Hilda and Zelda, but not disappointed to see Agatha and Roz.

SALEM!!😍

The bride of The Void?

I think Sabrina was just bidding her time, and is gonna take out Blackwood.

Is Sabrina gonna eat them.

Agatha has replaced Marie.

FUCK YOU FAUSTUS.

I think Sabrina knew what he was planning, but was bidding her time and when he went to do the sacrifice, she was gonna take him out.

Zelda and Hilda are moods when Ambrose talks to them about the timeframe.

Wtf Nick? What happened?🧐

Ohhhhhh right, I forgot he went to retrieve Sabrina and the box.

Wow, Faustus, so dramatic with that blade.

He's gonna stab Sabrina, fun.

Zelda is gonna get him distracted? Does she have the box?🤔

HE CALLED HER WIFE.

I forgot they were still married, in my mind it was annulled.🤷🏻‍♀️

Eat the dollhouse, Faustus. Eat it.

The box is a fake.😁

His greed got his face melted!

Yeah, Nick! Punch him hard!

THEY'RE INSIDE HER.

Zelda knows what Sabrina is planning, and is not happy about it, and Hilda just caught on.

But her Aunties are gonna help Sabrina.

Sabrina is gonna die, just know it.

Zelda looks ready to cry but is holding it all back.

Sabrina is bleeding milk.

INTO THE UNKOOOOOOOOWN, INTO THE UNKNOOOOOOOWN.

A banshee has come😭

Got rid of Mckenna Grace, did they?

NO SHE'S DYING.

Goodbye Aunt Zee😭

And Aunt Hilda.😭

Hilda knew that Sabrina knew she'd die to save everyone, and damn it all my heart hurts because of it.

Faustus knew all of this. Mary is making me annoyed.

LILITH! IS! WATCHING!

FOR THEY ARE BOTH OUR DAUGHTERS! WHY MUST YOU BREAK MY HEART IN THIS WAY!

And Sabrina has a statue at the academy.

And Hilda and Dr. Cee are moving back into the academy!

Aw Zelda.❤️

YAY PRUDENCE, CUT HIM UP AND SCATTER HIM!

Nick committed suicide? Intentionally? Unintentionally?

THAT'S IT?! That's really how they ended it?

What happened to Judas and Judith? What even was the point of their characters if this is how they were going to be treated. So many questions.

It was quite a lame ending with weak writing, honestly.

[thefactsofthematter]

angst request: two lovers have been fighting to reunite for years. when they finally make it to each other, one is dying.

ohhhhhh boy. this request just spoke to me and oh my GOD this had me in genuine tears at the end and i’m the one writing it so,,, watch out y’all

post-canon, wwi era; javid; 2k; warning: gunshot wound, medical talk + hospital setting, major character death

-

When Davey sees Jack again for the first time in years, he doesn't even recognize him.

It's hard to believe it's been a whole ten years since Davey moved to Boston for school, and since Jack finally hopped on a train to Santa Fe. They went their separate ways, as even the best of friends or closest of lovers tend to eventually do. They meant to keep in touch— they really did— but none of the letters Davey wrote ever made it to Jack, or even to the mailbox for that matter.

He told himself it was because he didn't know Jack's new address, but maybe he was simply too heartbroken to bother reaching out.

"I'll be home every summer, and it's just for four years. If you think about it, that's not even very long."

Jack had just sighed and stared down at the train ticket in his hands. It had been hard enough, Davey doing his undergraduate's degree, here in New York. They never seemed to have any time for each other, and it was getting harder and harder to keep their relationship a secret. Now, with Davey headed all the way to Boston to go to medical school, things were bound to be even worse.

"So if you wanna go away and live your dream, it's fine, but when I wanna do it, I'm the bad guy?" The note of bitterness in Jack's voice had seemed insincere, as if he couldn't bring himself to actually be mad. "Maybe I'll only go for four years, then. We'll both come back to New York and find each other. If we write enough letters, maybe it'll be like we were never even apart."

Davey had just forced himself to laugh softly, while leaning into Jack's side to try and revel in every moment, as surely it'll be the last time they hold each other like this.

"Yeah, you're right." A lie. "We'll see each other again, I'm sure." Another lie. "I’ll love you forever, darling." Nothing but the truth.

The last place Davey expects to run into Jack is in a military hospital in France, in the midst of the Great War.

They hadn’t thought the war was going to be this long. When Davey had volunteered to go overseas as an army doctor, fairly early on in the war, the general consensus was that it surely wouldn’t last more than a few months. Now it’s 1917– Davey hasn’t seen his family in two years and the fighting just keeps barreling on. Every day, there’s a constant stream of young soldiers being carted in from the front lines with horrific injuries, and every day Davey has to put on a brave face and try to save their lives.

Jack isn’t the first of the newsies to come in— Davey has seen a handful of old friends and it’s bittersweet every time. The reunion is sometimes pleasant, but always difficult nonetheless: Albert had been missing an arm, Finch had been in agony from mustard gas burns, and the worst of it… Davey had been the one to call Elmer’s time of death. It was horrible and he hopes to never see another familiar face within these walls.

He’s jerked out of his thoughts by the wail of an ambulance drawing near outside— his two-minute coffee break is over and it’s time to jump back into action. He has mere moments to collect himself before the doors are slamming open and his world is back to chaos.

“Shot in the abdomen, already infected,” says one of the travelling field nurses, as they roll the patient in and Davey hurries to match their stride. She’s got a strong French accent and he struggles to make sense of what she says next— something about a fever and gangrene and septic shock, which makes Davey incredibly nervous.

“He’s in good hands,” is all he can think to reply with, as the resident hospital nurses take over and the field nurses head back out. He’s still fumbling to get his gloves on as they enter the operating room and he’s suddenly the one in charge.

Debridement, antisepsis, pack the wound. The three steps of trauma surgery are on a loop in Davey’s head as he takes in the situation.

“General anesthesia,” he orders. He can’t tell if the young man is actually conscious or not until a nurse’s hand gets too close to the bloody mess in the middle of his abdomen and there’s a quiet a groan of pain. “Start cutting his clothing away and cleaning around the wound.”

A fever. The field nurse had mentioned a fever, so he presses the back of his hand to the soldier’s forehead and winces at the heat that radiates from it. Shit.

That means the infection must be spreading, and she was probably right about sepsis, meaning as hard as they try, they might not be able to save him and—

He doesn’t even notice the patient’s eyes snapping open and staring up at him.

“Davey…?”

It’s hardly above a whisper and Davey almost doesn’t hear it. There’s a nurse about to put a mask over the soldier’s nose and mouth to put him under, but Davey quickly raises a hand, telling her to wait.

He watches the soldier’s face for a long moment, and then everything falls into place.

“Jack…” he whispers. “Oh god…”

Everyone has paused to watch them— his assistant and the two nurses— but Davey can’t stop himself from reaching out to carefully touch Jack’s face.

He’s changed— of course he has. They were hardly even adults yet when they last saw each other, and now they’re in their thirties. Jack had always liked his hair a bit long and messy on the top of his head, but he’s now got a close-cropped army cut, already greying just a little at the temples. His face is dirty and worn, but Davey can’t help but notice the smile-line wrinkles starting to form. At least that means he’s been happy in their decade apart.

This can’t be real. It can’t. There’s no way his first (and only) love is lying here on his goddamn operating table, dying of an infected bullet wound. Ten years apart and this is how they reunite… it isn’t fair.

“Remember when I told you I was gonna be a doctor someday?” he finally says, because it’s all he can do to keep from crying. Jack looks entirely disoriented, but he manages to crack a confused almost-smile at that. “You’re gonna be okay, Jackie. I’ve got you.”

And then he nods to the nurse, that she can go ahead and put Jack under, and he shoots a stern look to his assistant, a young doctor-in-training, telling him to keep working on the initial sterilization of the area around the bullet hole.

He’s gonna save Jack Kelly’s life, god damn it.

-

The surgery, miraculously, is a success.

The infection was somewhat milder than it had initially seemed, and Davey had managed to cut away minimal amounts of tissue and leave Jack relatively intact. Sure, he’s got a gaping wound packed with antiseptic-soaked gauze, but he’s alive and breathing with working organs, so Davey supposes he did his job.

It’s now a matter of hoping that Jack’s body can fight off what remains of the infection without going into shock— there’s nothing any doctor can do for him now.

It takes a couple of days before Davey has a free moment long enough to figure out where Jack’s bed is and actually have time for a visit. His shifts are back-to-back-to-back and he hardly gets a wink of sleep, but he finally manages to set aside some time in the afternoon for personal matters.

Jack is sleeping when Davey arrives. He’s in a room full of patients but his bed is tucked away in a corner, which at least affords them an illusion of privacy. Davey can’t help but check him for a fever, and his heart sinks a little when he realizes that Jack is burning up even worse than when he’d come in and sweating buckets. He carefully checks his pulse and winces at just how quick it is.

“Jack?” he whispers, trying to shake Jack awake as gently as possible. Slowly, his eyes peel open. “Hey… how are you feeling?”

Jack blinks several times and frowns in confusion, staring up at Davey. He seems out of it, as one might expect with being this sick and all. Davey can only hope he’ll at least be recognized.

“Dave…” Jack finally mumbles. “Am I dead? Are you… are you an angel?”

Davey can’t help but laugh softly as he takes a knee to get down closer to Jack’s level.

“No, no, it’s really me. You’re in the hospital— you got hurt pretty bad out there. Not really the best place to run into each other after all this time, is it?”

Jack sort of laughs, but doesn’t seem to have the energy for it. He smiles, at least, and Davey feels just as smitten as he did when he was seventeen.

“I’ve missed you,” sighs Jack, reaching weakly for Davey’s hand. He speaks slowly and somewhat slurred, but at least he’s conscious. “You… you said you were gonna be a doctor. Look at you— smart fella, I always knew it.”

There’s a lump in Davey’s throat as he takes Jack’s hand— it’s cold, another sign that his body isn’t handling the infection well.

“Look at you,” replies Davey, trying to keep things light. “A captain in the army. I suppose it can’t be that different from leading a band of newsboys, can it?”

Another almost-laugh from Jack. He can barely keep his eyes open and it makes Davey want to break down crying.

This isn’t fair. For ten years, he’d imagined all the ways that he and Jack might find each other again someday. None of them involved Jack dying. This isn’t how it was meant to go. They were supposed to be happy.

“Are you sad?” asks Jack, after a moment. He squeezes Davey’s hand gently. “Just ‘cause it ain’t how we pictured it… ‘least we still found each other. I knew we would.”

Davey can’t stop himself from crying.

“I love you,” he whispers, so low it’s barely audible. “Forever, Jackie. I’m always yours.”

Jack’s eyes are falling closed now, but he hums a little and nods as he rubs his thumb over the back of Davey’s hand.

“Love you,” he finally replies, before giving in and letting himself settle back into sleep.

This has to be it— Davey figures he made it just in time. If he’d delayed his visit even an hour, he probably wouldn’t have been able to see him.

He can’t watch it happen, so he pushes himself back up to his feet and wipes the tears from his eyes. He does a round of checking in with and making conversation with all the other patients in the room. He might be crying on the inside, but he’ll be damned if he doesn’t have the best bedside manner of any doctor he knows.

Sure enough, when he circles back to Jack, he has to take his pocket watch out and bring a nurse over as a witness so he can call time.

When he met Jack, all those years ago, he never imagined he’d be the one signing his death certificate, but life has a funny way of kicking you in the ass, doesn’t it?

Well… like Jack said, at least they found each other. He always knew they would.

[thegreatlibraryfangirl]

Was reading through my original Sword and Pen reaction live read, and thought I might share my original thoughts on the dario chapter with you all lol

Dario has amazing handwriting headcanon confirmed.

Making the library useful hmmm whats the plan dario

Dario dont be a dick because you cant have hot food omg

Yay peacock reference STOP CALLING HIM BRIGHTWELL IM GOING TO SMACK YOU SO HARD

“It was vanity to wear it, but well, he was vain” *flails*

Boots don’t fit the outfit but  they’re comfortable  fuck it LOL

Fuck the sword but yay another dagger

Ohhhh you wonderful devious shit. A new codex, a new identity (the nitpicker in me wants to know when this all happened if this book started what, on the same day as the end of smoke and iron? Maye a day later?? but … rollllling onwards)

He wants to run away, bless himm ohhhhhh my darling. He has the same pipe dream of farming and peace as Santi. And the same knowledge their loved one wouldnt stand for it. 

He wants to be a dad kill me now

WHEN DID HE GET THIS FUCKING BAND “so centnral to his life now” is that just the band he grabbed in philly?? shut up maz. 

NO WHAT DO YOU MEAN LETING HIM BACK IN IS IMPOSSIBLE WHAT ARE YOU PLANNING

Name: cesar mondragon

Ohhhhh they’re going to kidnap the  archivist oh GOD to say khalila wont like this is an understatement FUCK

Wait is this how she ends up the  archivist

Idk

Dario. Giving them the greek fire stores. Ooohhh shit??

Ptolemy House Dario stole and read people personal journals, wow, so cut-throat i love it. “Trying to understand the best strategies for survival in a hostile, competitive world”. Ooooh it’s so good. And that sounds so sophisitcated and all the poor brat was doing was looking for blackmail material. As if that would even have worked. (we’ll ignore how the fuck would Postulant Dario ever have gained access to captain santi’s personal journal. Oxford????) 

Dario darling you have never successfully turned an automata off and you know it, what a bluff

Oh no wait. Santi said he wnted betrayal from Dario. This would be that. Have they planned this, i s thre a trap. Im really ,really bad at following convulted stuff.

Note, Dario’s homelandd is Catalonia that’s GREAT information

Ohhhh you beautiful lying boy i’m so sorry

Shit who has dario just messaged. Messy handwriting .Santi? Has he told santi the code???

Ohhh shit it’s a slaughterhouse in there.

Who has control of the  sphinxes i have no idea what s happening

OH YESSSSSSssssss they killed the eLITES yesssssssss

Ohh dario the game playing never ends i’m sorry you had to be responsible for so many people dying

Bluffing again baby

SCREAMING

SCREAMING

“But also the  knowledge that Santi saw him for who he was, who he;d always been. A deceiver.”

I AM IN PAIN

YOU NEVER WANT TO DO  IT DARIO YOU DO IT BECAUSE YOU THINK IT’S THE CORRECT COURSE OF ACTION

I LOVE YOU

DONT HURT  LIK ETHIS it’ll be ok i promise you’re not instrinsically bad  this isn’t proof of anything just because your substitute dad made you use a skill you have ohhhh my god

Dont get too drunk. Also do. So i can see.

[amazingphanisnotonfire-imagines]

Sweet Pea//Pretty Girl

Request: I’ve never been able to read anything with someone who has the same condition as me and you don’t have to do this by any means it may be difficult but plus size reader with hiadradenitis supperativa x sweet pea where like he just chills with them when they are in pain or like maybe when she tells him and he’s like hey it’s okay I don’t see you any different or soemthing

“Babe?” Your boyfriend’s familiar voice pulled you from your thoughts and you quickly looked around the mess of your room. You caught your appearance in the mirror and silently cursed, your eyes were red, your face was blotchy and people from the next town over could tell that you’d been crying. Quickly, you wiped the tears from your face and stood up. Pulling the baggy shirt and pants so they were more comfortable. 

“Sweet Pea?” You forced a smile. “What are you doing here?” You asked. 

“I came to see my girl.” He kissed you sweetly and you smiled softly. “You’re mom let me in, she said you hadn’t come out your room in a few days, and if anybody was gonna cheer you up, it would be the best boyfriend in the world. Aka...me.” He pointed to himself before jumping on your bed. “Soooooo, why have you been hiding away in your bedroom. We all miss you.” 

“Oh ya know.” You shrugged and sat beside him, wincing slightly. “Just been busy with homework and stuff.” 

“We have no homework, its summer!” He said excitedly. “Oh, speaking of summer, Cheryl and Toni are planning ar pool party soon, so get your bathing suit ready.” 

“Ohhhhhh.” You said anxiously. “I don’t think I can go to that.” 

“You don’t know when it is.” He said. 

“I know.” You nodded. Think woman, think. Why can’t you go to the pool party other than the fact that everybody is either gonna laugh and you or think your gross. “I can’t go because...I can’t...swim?” 

“Yes you can.” He laughed. “I’ve seen the little certificates you get when you learn to swim. On the Southside we just get chucked in the river when we’re 9 by the older Serpents and we have to figure out how to get ourselves out. We do get a little certificate but its more a little piece of paper saying ‘done’ that we have to carry around so we don’t get thrown in again. 9 times out of 10 you do get thrown in again.” He said casually and you looked at him, unsure of what to say. 

“Erm. Its nice that they give you a piece of paper.” You replied and he nodded. 

“I suppose so. So why can’t you go really. And please don’t lie to me.” He said seriously and you could feel the tears coming again. “You’ve already been avoiding me, and now you’re lying to me. Have I done something? Are you cheating on me? Is that you’re not going to the party, are you gonna spend the day with some other guy?” He rambled. 

“No Sweet Pea.” You shook your head. “I’m not cheating on you.” You reassured him. “I’m surprised one guy wants me let alone two.” 

“What?” He asked. 

“Nothing.” 

“What’s all that stuff?” He asked and pointed to the dozens of bottle/boxes on the drawers in the corner of your room.

“Oh, just some medication.” You replied as casually as possible. “I have a little cold.” 

“Its the middle of summer.” He said, raising an eyebrow. 

“Yeah.” You nodded. “I know. How me to get a cold in the middle of summer.” You tried to play it off. Please drop it, you pleaded in your head. 

“But do you really need this much?” He asked and stood up, walking towards them. Please sit down, please sit down. “Half of this stuff I’ve never heard of. Doxy-doxyc-yeah, I can’t even pronounce that one.” 

“Doxycycline.” You said. 

“Yeah.” He nodded. “And all of these bandages.” 

“Gauze.” 

“Yeah.” 

“Out of everything on there I would have thought you’d know what gauze is.” 

“Why?” He asked confused.

“Because of all the injuries you get.” You replied. 

“Oh yeah.” He laughed a little and you shook your head. He may be an idiot sometimes but at least he isn’t talking about whats up anymore. 

“Sooo, are you gonna tell me what these are for? Because I know for a fact you don’t need gauze for a cold.” 

Maybe you spoke too soon.

“I don’t wanna talk about it.” You mumbled and he walked quickly to you. 

“What babe? Why?” He asked and sat beside you. 

“I just don’t.” You started to sob and he stared at you confused for a few seconds. 

“Okay.” He nodded and wrapped his arms around you. “We don’t have to.” He told you, squeezing you, making you cry in pain quietly. “What?!” He pulled away from you. “What did I do.” 

“Nothing babe.” You shook your head. “I’m fine.” 

“Are...are you sure?” 

“Kinda.” You nodded. The two of you sat in silence for a few minutes. Sweet Pea’s hands were squeezing yours reassuringly, and he was whispering sweet things in your ear while you quietly sobbed. “I have Hidradenitis suppurativa.” Your mouth had spoken before your brain had had a chance to realize what it was doing, and you quickly pulled away from him, looking at your bedding instead of your boyfriend. 

“Is that bad?” He asked sadly, moving towards you. 

“Kinda, but not really. I’m not dying if thats what your worried about.” You mumbled. 

“Okay. Well, thats something.” He said awkwardly and in true Sweet Pea fashion. He grabbed your hands again, stopping them from playing with the loose strings from your duvet. “Tell me what it is then. I’m listening.” He said and smiled reassuringly at you. You looked at him for a few seconds, his smile making you feel slightly more at ease. 

“Well, its a skin condition. Do you know how you can see a few of my scars when I wear certain clothing?” You asked. 

“Yeah?” 

“Well, I wasn’t a clumsy kid. I mean I kinda was but not that bad. There from what I have. They basically start as like spot type things that are 10x worse than actual pimples and they burst and stuff. Its kinda gross.” You sighed. 

“Its not gross.” He shook his head. “Not at all.” He added and tilted your chin with his finger. “You’re beautiful. No matter what.”  

“Whatever. You’ve never even seen them.” 

“I don’t have to see them. I know you’re beautiful. Why do you think I’m dating you? I’m a very shallow person you know.” He tried to lighten the mood at the end and you giggled a little. “See, that smile alone makes you the most beautiful person in the entire universe. I don’t care if you have these. Well I do, because you know, I can imagine they hur-” 

“Big time.” You interrupted. 

“Yeah, they hurt and I don’t like anything that hurts you. I would punch it if I could bu-I’m getting off track. What I’m trying to say is that I think you’re pretty no matter, even if you do have this. And I’m gonna look after you for as long as you have the-” 

“There’s no cure. Its a permanent thing.” You said sadly. 

“Well then you’re stuck with me forever. I’m not gonna let anybody else look after my girl.” 

“Sweets.” You sighed. “You don’t have to. I understand if you wanna be with someone else. Someone you can show off.” 

“Why can’t I show you off? You are way out of my league, just try and stop me. Plus, I don’t want anybody else, I want you. And I’m gonna help you. Tell me everything.” 

“Are you sure.” 

“Yes.” He nodded. “Now tell me.” He nudged you softly. “Wait!” He stopped you from talking. “Can I hug you?” He asked. 

“Yes Sweet Pea, you can hug me. But please don’t squeeze.” 

“Got it.” He nodded and held his arms out open for you to cuddle in to. “No squeezing. I’ll have to squeeze Fangs from now on.” 

“You can still squeeze me Sweets. Just not right now, they’ve been quite bad because of summer and the heat and stuff.” 

“Understandable. When I go home I’m gonna google ways to keep you cool so they don’t hurt you anymore than they already do.” 

“Sweets.” You laughed. 

“Come on. Tell me everything I need to know. When did you find out?” 

“I was properly diagnosed a few years ago, they are usually kinda manageable, but they’ve been super bad this past week so I kinda just hid away. Sometimes when they get really bad I just hide in my room for a few days.” 

“Thats why you’ve been avoiding me.” 

“Yeahhh.” 

“I feel like an ass. I’m sorry.” 

“Its fine.” You laughed softly. “You didn’t know.” You shrugged. “There also kind of embarrassing. They are in all of the parts of me that are supposed to be sexy, like my boobs and my thighs and my you know...” You trailed off and he nodded. 

“I’ve seen all of those things and I think they are so sexy. Even thinking about them is turning me on.” He wiggled his eyebrows at you and you laughed loudly. 

“Ewww.” You hit him playfully and he laughed louder. 

“What else?” He asked after recovering from his laughter. 

“They’re expensive to deal with. You have to buy the gauze and stuff.” 

“I’ll do more jobs for the Serpents to help you pay.” 

“They bleed sometimes. And I can only have dark sheets.” 

“I’ll change my bedding.” 

“Sometimes it hurts to lie down or sit.” 

“I’ll find a really comfortable mattress/cushion.” 

“I don’t think thats how that works” You replied. 

“Well then I’ll think of something.” He replied. 

“There’s no cause for it.” 

“I’ll find one.” He shrugged. 

“What? You’re gonna become a scientist to find a cause for it?” You asked sarcastically. 

“Yep. A cause and cure for it.” He replied. 

“You’re just being silly now.” You rolled your eyes. 

“I’m never silly. I’m Sweet Pea remember. I’ll do literally anything to help you. Even if that does mean becoming scientist.” 

“I appreciate the offer but I’d much rather you just support me.” 

“Anything.” He smiled brightly at you before kissing you. 

“And maybe calling me pretty every so often.” You mumbled against his lips. 

“Done.” He replied and the both of you laughed softly. “I’m here for you no matter what, pretty girl.” 

[readbythestarlight]

c2e86

Evil queen Chewbacca xD

Travis and his undying loyalty to the Dallas Cowboys is super cute and I want them to actually win something just for his sake

heyyyyy congrats Laura!

Oh god here we go

Oh Sam

The DM will remember that

[[MORE]]

Can’t wait to see Ashley!!

(She’s gonna be here if I believe hard enough it will happen.)

fuck so are the Krynn actually there?? I hope not, I don’t want this to backfire on them

FLASH YOUR BADGES

Matt: “The Krynn is rushing at you”

Laura: “WHY?!”

Matt: “....because they’re attacking the city”

Good smart Fjord using the symbol

I hate that they’re stuck choosing sides when there’s shit so much bigger than this war going down and it’s so DUMB

SHE’S HERE

WHERE

IS

ASH-O-LEE

I feel like they’re very outnumbered even with Pumat there so idk what they’re gonna do when they get inside

That is a NICE map Matt

So some of them def seem like they’re just here for the Angel of Irons and don’t know what is really going on

Okay fuck here we go

Nat1 for initiative, bad. Nat1 for charity, good.

How is she making the earth rumble....?

I have some concerns that Caleb using his fire magic here in Rexentrum is going to get back to Trent...

Also I wish they’d not use up all their high levels on this fight they’re gonna need those against Obann

GUYS

Please stop wasting your good stuff ajskalskak

Okay so obviously they need to use their big stuff but specifically on HER

Caleb’s health is already real low so suddenly I’m nervous

Goooooo Pumat!

P: “hey wanna help us out here? Thanks buddy” I FUCKING LOVE HIM

Oh boy what’s coming

Fiends?

YAAAAS NOTT

Fuck gonna be the laughing hand right?

At least

YASHA’S COMING

At least he’s killable

Oh god

YAAAAAA ASHLLEYYYYYT

MY GIIIIIRL SHE BACK BAAAAABBBBYYYY

Okay okay but maybe Caleb can dispel the magic before her turn

Beau and Yasha in the same boat now and I hate it

Beau’s doing COOL MONK SHIT

YAAAAS GIRL

monks are the fucking BEST

Marisha that was EXCELLENT god I love her that was SUCH a move I love the way she played that and described it

“I would like to rage” I want to be excited but I’m not because she’s raging at Nott

YEAHHH SHE ROLLED DOUBLE ONES

good for Nott good for charity!!

Oh no here she comes

Wait didn’t she rage not reckless?

NAT20 YAY

Fuck him up, Nott!!

Make that save Nott

Fuck

I’m starting to get a weeeee but nervous

BEAU

OH GOD

I DONT LIKE THAT AT ALL F U C K

Enervation?

Nice! Fjord hurts her and gets healing

And Taliesin looked suddenly like he thought of something big

Ash: “there’s the slightest look of relief” I cry

Pumat plz be safe

Pumat... smash??

“Pumat Swol” xD

Pumat SMASH

Taliesin looks like he has something prepped and whatever it is I hope it’s good

Fuck I just had the worst thought what if Beau and Yasha both go down and they have to choose who to save?

Dispel? Dispel?? GIVE MY GIRL BACK

YAAAAAS

IM GONNA CRY GUYS

YAAAAS STORMLORD

I’m WEEPING

Spare the dying with his beetle WILDMOTHER BLESS CADUCEUS

He has saved their butts in the most desperate moments so many times

Babygirl is FREE

I’m cryyyying

Taliesin Ashely hug guys please I’m crying enough as it is

Oh man Beau missed Yasha being freed tho

YAAAAAS KILLING THE LAUGHING HAAAAAAND TAKE THAT YOU MULTI-MOUTHED FREAK

C: “get the fuck away from my friends”

Nott bb stay

Do you think Yasha’s wings will be feathered now?

Pumat please be safe

Matthew Mercer if he’s not okay I’m gonna be SAD

Someday I will win the Wyrmwood giveaway, but it is not this day :(

Ohhhhhh nice

So Yasha... can’t die?

Okay so interesting. Like the laughing hand couldn’t, we know that, except that they destroyed the heart so then he could.

Oh man I just realized Yasha doesn’t know about Fjord being a paladin that’ll be neat

Do NOT step in those circles

Nott’s free yay!

But also not in a great position

WHISPERS

I just got a look at the circles and realized they’re definitely the ritual circles so FUCK

Obann and the Inevitable End just hanging out in the ceiling

Okay so can Obann use ANYONE to help break this chain? Does he just need sacrifices?

Matt please it’s 1am already

Fjord’s just pulling all out sorts of new things tonight (probably because there hasn’t been a really big fight since he became Paladin). Fairy fire also sounds cool.

Lol he sparkles now??

Yeeees girl you rage and you fuck Obann UP

Oh damn the Inevitabel End is too?? NICE DISPELL HER AND LET HER KILL OBANN

Although I mean she probably still needs to die tho

Oh god Fjord please make it

Nooooo

Jester NO DO NOT STEP IN THE CIRCLE

IF YOU FAIL THIS HE HAS FOUR FOR THE CIRCLES

FUCK FUCK FUCK

Fuuuuuck

Yeeeees Cad getting Fjord free very nice

Oh thank god Jester resisted

Oh god Caleb

46pts piercing fuck

But at least he resists poison okay

Guys I have to sit through class tomorrow can we wrap this up

Aaaaaand then he fails it the second time and is poisoned fuck

YESSSSS

do it whatever it is babe Yasha deserves it

Please crush his skull in with your bare barbarian hands

Okay okay ripping his wings off is cool too

Niiiiiice!! I’m SO glad it was Yasha who got the final blow

Oh wait... maybe he really did believe it was the Angel of Irons

Oh don’t like that

Matt That was scary

WHAT DID HE SAY YASHA

“You failed, and so shall be punished.” Oh boy

Oh daaaaaaamn

So this mean’s he’s gone-gone. No being brought back. HELL YEAH.

Oh fuck he’s not gone-gone he’s fucked UP ew ew ew

I’m so glad we’re ending because I need sleep but that last mini is the stuff of nightmares and also two week hiatus

It’s gonna be bad tho they are all pretty much spell dry

Obann is gone so that’s good, this is just a messed up monster made of what’s left of his form

WELCOME BACK ASHLEY AND YASHA

We love you too Matt!

[dykedteach]

okay so, a liveblog.

i know i haven’t done one of these in a while but it’s the last opportunity i had so, a pure as-i-watch-it liveblog for my own future enjoyment? horror? who knows

(also - last night i dreamt that jaime was still alive after all, and that he and brienne made up but then he poisoned sansa? anyway)

“I’ll find you later.” bitch........no

greyworm don’t you fucking dare babe

please don’t turn greyworm into a villain right at the end just to spite him i will be so mad

i’m so so nervous about tyrion walking through the rubble of the keep because if the twins are dead i absolutely do not want to see visual representation of the fact

the book of the kingsguards deeds im....asdjaskda

they’re going to make me see the fucking bodies aren’t they

okay that scene was so powerful and genuinely one of the saddest i’ve seen on the show and peter dinklage is incredible but i honestly struggled to watch it and i am crying A Lot

they, separately, have been two of my favourites since i started watching and this fucking hurts, i have honestly spent the last week kinda forgetting that they’re dead? and now it’s like. there they are.

also, jaime lannister clown club, my apologies, i so wanted to believe you

if tyrion does something like gives brienne his gold hand i s2g

i miss when jon used to look like he had life in him

 he’s going to have to kill greyworm isn’t he

maybe davos will, actually, he’s never had a big kill

ooooooooooooooh the cinematography of the dragon rising behind her

imagine a regent that actually had wings how cool would that be

repeating her promises to/from the dothraki from like s1 is...a Move

“the queens master of war” ohhhhhh fuck me

god he really does need to die doesn’t he

literally what is she going to do?? march on every fucking city and kill them all? HOW are they “suffering under the wheel” the monarchy is the wheel and you? killed it??

arya use a face

aRyA uSe A fAcE

despite the fact i’ve seen leaks saying otherwise i’m so worried tyrion is gonna die

“I freed my brother” god the regret in his voice im dying

why is jon just chilling

JON BEING A TENDER BIG BROTHER why wasn’t 80% of his screentime this season doing exactly this

i love this version of arya that’s serious but not cold

“did you bring any wine?” oh babe

oof the whole afterlife discussion

oh for fucks sake what is it with the lannister men and laying out their bad deeds at the worst time

jon and tyrion arguing is just the two different halves of twitter arguing all this week

“why does it matter what i do” because you’re a good boy, jon snow!!!

god the acting in this episode so far is phenomenal

am i going to cry every time my dumbass golden idiot is mentioned from now on? bitch i might!

is he REALLY a member of the nights watch anymore? do the nights watch exist anymore? there’s no fucking WALL

is he really gonna just be like.....byeeeeee!!

YES bitch EMOTIONALLY MANIPULATE HIS LOVE OF HIS SIBLINGS its what he NEEDS 

also, just his sisters?? there’s a bran also

i know we kinda forget about him (which will be hilarious by the end of this episode, if the spoilers i’ve seen are right) but

ooooh snowy dragon

shit, i forget, ashy dragon

ITS THE PROPECY

god the score is gorgeous

she’s literally queen of the ashes, fuck

“i imagined a mountain of swords too high to climb” so, like, the book throne then

oh god my upset puppy

this is it oh fuck

oh god

oh i feel so sorry for emilia clarke

oh jon 

oh no drogon!! oh no

god that was quick

oh god when he’s nudging her body i’m so sad

why.....why the throne and not jon....

how does he know the throne is bad i’m?

god the VISUALS

but also....”mom died i’m DESTROYING the CHAIR” feels like a weird jump

god i fucking hate that her story ended like her father’s

we’re halfway through and no brienne, i’m disappointed

how many times now has tyrion had to contemplate his imminent death? bless him

ok so now she’s dead we can please let greyworm go safely to naath or something yeah? he doesn’t have to die or be evil this is fine just user him away

WAIT ITS MY BABY SHES HERE

how the fuck did they get down to KL so quick

WAIT EDMURE

hold um im pausing and rewinding

sam, ?, edmure, starks, WIFE, davos, LORD GENDRY LOOKING FINE, ?, a nights watch i guess? MY LESBIAN, a dornish prince i guess? 

oh okay so obviously this is a little while later, and jon and tyrion have been imprisoned while they wait right?

YARA SHUT UP

god sansa looks stunning

edmure tully gets to do something! yay!

oh my god robin is huge now

“a veteran of two wars” where have you BEEN THOUGH BUDDY

“Uncle, please sit” GOD IMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

robin and royce trying not to laugh, sam trying not to laugh, sansa trying not to laugh, this is too much

“Why just us?” BABEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

SAM CHAMPIONING A DEMOCRACY LIKE A BABE

oh fuck off the lot of you

“who then?” well, brienne obviously

make her queen

i want it

give her a crown of sapphires

“bran the broken” that seems....reductive?

“who has a better story than-” well, you see, lots of people.

“and he can’t father children” i mean, he absolutely probably can?

where’s pod, i miss him

i love my diplomatic daughter

ARYA LOOKS LIKE SHE’S ABOUT TO CRY IM

bran being firm with greyworm i LOVE IT

he will be a good king, i agree with that. some emotion would be nice also.

oh god my poor baby 

“there’s still a nights watch?” MOOD

“no one is very happy.” also a mood

he truly is ned’s boy, isn’t he.

show him saying goodbye to his family you FUCKING COWARDS

he’s sailing for naath after all i’m!! emotional!

where the fuck does arya think she’s going

i hope she has like, a few years travelling and then comes back

oh god arya crying is just

i’m so emotional

oh fuck

oh no i hoped and predicted for this scene weeks ago and wanted it to be in better circumstances but

why isn’t she wearing her blue armour

i can’t count the number of times i’ve paused this scene already to just solidly cry

“Escaped imprisonment and rode south in an attempt to save the capital from destruction. Died protecting his Queen.”

brienne baby i’m so sorry

okay i’m going to distract myself by questioning how the fuck they rebuilt so quickly

HOLY FUCK PEOPLE WERE KINDA RIGHT ABOUT SAM WRITING THE BOOK 

fuckin bronn

oh god she’s HEAD OF THE KINGSGUARD

oh wow i’m so down for bran occasionally warging during meetings and everyone else just being like.......um....excuse us...

SER

PODRICK

FUCKING

PAYNE

“you’re master of grammar now too?” somewhere, in purgatory, a baratheon smiles.

i swear to god, if brienne’s last line is a comment about brothels

(at least she’s not pregnant)

my crack ship came out of this better than my hardcore otp

where’s GHOST

a king, a queen, an explorer, and a pariah.

god but i do love the starks

GHOST

OH god arya’s ship is gorgeous

sansa’s crown is nice but a little too cersei reminiscent for me

i’m just happy tormund is here

okay so actually. overall. and maybe it’s because i saw the leaks for most stuff weeks ago and had time to process it.

i kind of.....enjoyed that for the most part?

certainly the second half.

anyway. that’s it.

fuck me.

[ohifonlyx33]

4.07

yay more 12 monkeys monologue openings. I usually hate voiceovers because they feel like a cheap layer of exposition.... but 12 monkeys always uses voiceovers to add a layer of emotional and thematic impact.

"I am emma. I was born with a purpose" ...to be the savior of storybrooke? lol. Emma and Hannah are basically opposites... 

Emma plays creepy British schoolgirl so well.

So the name of this episode is Daughter right? lol. just checking. Ooooh Mother vs. Mother showdown. Olivia vs. Katerina Dang Olivia was creepy tho. Gross. Stop it. Ooooh so Hannah is off to explore the world? pls stop hurting jones OH IT'S COLE... but Future Cole, methinks. :3 theory: this is all in jones's head. Not Cole. Not Cassie. Deacon's cover is blown. Olivia will learn everything. Lapses in time... NOT GOOD NOT GOOD... this probably ties in with Die Glocke too when she blanked. CALLED IT. I'm getting confused... is Olivia the demon or the serpent? I mean I thought she was the demon and Cole was the serpent. Aww it's been a year and Hannah is still so lost... and she FINALLY made a friend... Bryan, I hope you're a good buddy and not a trap or loss. Okay so I kinda didnt it was in charaacter of Jones to tell Olivia where to splinter because of seeing fake-Hannah dying... but now I understand... Of course Jones is using her! I love her so much. Ohhhhhh Cassie and Cole MY HEART... Cassie, don't you sneak off and try to join the red forest (please). "If we go, we go together" awsdkfjdfgs AWWW JENNIFER, YOU BAG OF NUTS... WHAT A HEART OF GOLD... let the record show i have a really bad feeling about this. Wait where... Oh! Old Jennifer. I totally forgot she was still alive in this time. DANG HANNAH LOOKS SO PRETTY PUNCHING ALL THoSE JERKS. Yeah so Emma is Marion. Marion is Cole's mother??? I'm like 99.9% sure. Unless they change it up last second. But yeah, that means Cole is the weapon born of her own daughter. Whom she will now attempt to murder. Here. We. Go.... but at the end of the episode tho

[esseastri]

Megan Reads Oathbringer (part 6)

tfw you go to work halfway through a liveblog post. not a good feel.

Part 6 encompasses pages 394-476 (previous parts)

Okay, sleep is good, but it’s back to my boys time.

Only Dalinar would consider healing himself in a vision “cheating”

I’M SO EXCITED FOR DALINAR’S OTHER SURGE

let’s get some new magic up in here

“Welcome to my madness, ladies.” DALINAR PLEASE, that’s the most ridiculous greeting ever.

Navani getting all overly excited about an ancient fabrial is delightful. She’s like a kid on Christmas. Though if this leads to her figuring out the design and getting lil Regrowth machines out into the world so people can heal, that would be magnificent. And seems like exactly the thing she’d be planning on doing.

THERE WAS A TEARFUL MOTHER-DAUGHTER REUNION!! THERE WAS ONE!! I’VE BEEN ROBBED

I genuinely love how every time Dalinar orders the Stormfather to do something, he’s like “wtf dude, no I don’t take orders from you” but he does it anyway.

sooo..most of the time when a Radiant dies, their spren dies, too. But the Stormfather was actually...enchanced? by Honor’s death. Obviously, Honor isn’t a Radiant, and I get the feeling that the Stormfather wasn’t his spren, but there’s a certain similarity in that they were clearly connected in some way--if they weren’t, why would his death affect the Stormfather at all? So why did the spren memory loss thing work the opposite way for the Stormfather--that he was fuzzy and forgotten while his connected being was alive, and more sure of himself now that Honor is dead?

“Dalinar squinted, but he still couldn’t make out which were human and which were not.” I feel like that says something, doesn’t it? If you can’t tell the humans from the parshmen? the maybe you’re not so different after all? Maybe you all die the same way, you all bleed and fight and die the same way. And maybe the things you’re fighting for are different, but there’s something to be said for looking at things from a different point of view.

oooohhh honey, is that what they told you? That the Heralds ascended to the Tranquiline Halls? God, humans so want to believe the best of people--as a general rule, we are an optimistic race. We want to believe things will get better or people won’t disappoint us. The betrayal of the Heralds wasn’t even a thing they could comprehend. Why would their gods abandon them? Surely, it was because they’d earned a better afterlife, not because they were tired of being tortured and just...walked away.

I’m emotional about the surprising resilience of humanity, but also of the marvelous ways humans lie to themselves to make themselves feel better.

I’m also emotional about the Heralds. That’s a constant thing though, sort of goes without saying.

ARE WE ACTUALLY GETTING INFO ABOUT THE HERALDS!!!!!?? AAAHHHHHH WHAT

FINALLY

Wait, are you telling me that the Desolations--all of them--were started by vengeful, angry ghosts????

vengeful, angry Parshendi ghosts.

that’s...marvelous.

OOHHHHHHHH

THIS IS MY SHIT THIS IS MY JAM. TEN PEOPLE PUTTING THEMSELVES IN HELL TO SAVE EVERYONE ELSE AAHH THESE PEOPLE

strong, selfless, sacrificing people

who got tired. and fucked up. and broke. and I’m

goooddddd this is MY SHIT THIS IS MY FAVORITE GIMME THIS WHOLE NOVEL AAAAHHH

AND THEN THEY WENT BACK KNOWINGLY KNOWING WHAT WAS WAITING FOR THEM THEY WENT BACK AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN WILLINGLY KNOWINGLY I”M

I AM EMOTIONAL ABOUT THE HERALDS

also the Stormfather slowly gaining humanity/perspective on humanity is a beautiful thing to witness. Like, yeah, we got it with Syl and Pattern and will with other spren, I’m sure, but it’s wild to see it in the soul of a storm.

HE WASN’T EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE THERE HE WASN’T A KING HE WASN’T ANYONE SPECIAL HE WASN’T SUPPOSED TO BE THERE AND HE WAS THE STRONGEST OF THEM AND HE NEVER BROKE HE NEVER GAVE IN AND HE WASN’T SUPPOSED TO BE THERE AND I”M

TALN

TAAAAAALLNNNN

I’M CRYING

I”M C R Y I N G

I AM UPSET ABOUT THE HERALDS

FOUR AND A HALF THOUSAND YEARS

(also that’s a lord of the rings reference I never noticed before, good job)

oohh shiiiiiittttt. they are reborn literally every nine days how the hell do you fight that

haaa um. the letter in the epigraphs--”it was agreed that no two Shards should settle in the same place”--my dude...you’ve got a limited number of inhabitable planets in this system. hate to break it to you, but... y’all were gonna end up in the same places. ..

“Everyone who might have been able to help us is crazy, dead, a traitor, or some combination of all three. Figures.” 1. Kaladin pls. 2. No, they can’t be dead. that’s too convenient. and also if they’d died before Taln escaped, he would have had someone there to help bear the torture burden and maybe wouldn’t have broken? Or...maybe I’m assuming Taln is stronger than he was there at the end.

Also, Kaladin, you don’t get to be self-righteous about the Heralds. I know you suffered and were tortured and survived with your oaths intact, but you almost didn’t--you reaaaally almost didn’t--and your tortures weren’t nearly as bad as theirs.

“Maybe that should make you reconsider those other wars, rather than using them to justify this one.” GET REKT, DALINAR. GOD, WHAT AN IMPORTANT LINE.

See, Shallan, that’s the beauty of Kaladin. He doesn’t consider whether or not something is “the sort of thing you say to the Blackthorn.” He knows what’s right, or what should be right, and he knows what needs to be said, and he frikkin says it. That’s one of the marvelous things about him--it’s not that he doesn’t care about the consequences, it’s that the consequences of him not speaking are worse. Because if he doesn’t speak, he doesn’t have a chance to change minds or hearts at all.

“You, three of your men, the king, and Adolin.” GOD BLESS THIS ROADTRIP

MMMMMMM YEAH NOPE

No wonder Jasnah and Taravangian got along so well; they have the same world philosophy. Murder a few people on the off chance that that might stop everyone else from dying.

Pragmatic, but ultimately horrible. And probably ineffective. The Heralds already broke. There was only a single year between the last two Desolations. It is highly likely that they any of them did go back now, they would simply break immediately and you’d have the same problem right away.

Usually, Jasnah has good ideas, but this is just. stupid.

ALSO THE FACT THAT HER ONLY OTHER SUGGESTION IS GENOCIDE OF THE PARSHENDI IS REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE. COME ON, JASNAH, YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN THAT.

Listen, I don’t think Jasnah counts as a really good therapist, but at least she’s...trying? to help Shallan? Shallan really needs a therapist.

“Is there a solution?” “I don’t know.” “Perhaps...act like an adult?” Amen, Pattern. Aaaaaamen.

Here’s the thing: I fully 100% understand that Shallan is a sheltered, frightened, PTSD, abused child who can’t confront her problems and therefore hides in various identities because it’s safe there. The problem is that this is the end of the world. Nothing is safe. And acting petulant because you want to sketch in a corner and hide and the big adults are forcing you to help save the world? Not an endearing quality.

I know she has panic attacks whenever she thinks about confronting her problems, and panic attacks suck ass, but you need to work through them? At some point, if you really hate yourself that much, you have to stand up and decide to change? Decide to be better. Shallan has said several times that she hates herself and she wants to change, but she refuses to actually do that. And yeah, it’s fucking hard, but there comes a point when you just have to grow up.

~*~unpopular Shallan opinions with Megan~*~

“Was she perhaps simply not interested?” Ace!Jasnah #confirmed. haha

Okay but like...Jasnah would never train you to be only a “mousy scribe” like...what the fuck, Shallan.

oh of course. Skybreaker...

Okay, so there’s the Sons of Honor--now Amaram’s domain. The Ghostbloods. The Diagram. Hello Darkness My Old Friend’s Skybreakers--which we know from Edgedancer were working on Ishar’s orders. The listeners and the parshmen. And us. the New Radiants. That’s.....a lot of groups with very conflicted purposes and goals.

Someone else in Amaram’s army was close to bonding a spren? and Hello Darkness took them out... Was that the other voice Syl was talking about? the first person she heard? who the heck was it.

“How long will Shallan go before she remembers we’re here?” Aw, Gaz, it’s like you think she cares about you guys.

I AM FREE FROM WORK AAHHH

going to work for 8 hours mid-liveblog just sucks y’all. Anyway. On we go!

“Teft woke up. Unfortunately.” I KNOW THE FEELING, MY DUDE

also good finally please tell me what my boy has been up to/where he’s been disappearing off to

......why this

we didn’t need a drug addiction subplot. why this.

also OOH HE HAS A SPREN? What type. It’s automatic to assume Windrunner, but what if it’s not?

WELL, I’M GLAD KALADIN AND ROCK FOUND HIM wtf we didn’t need this aargghhhh

We’re...really not going to get Azir, are we? I mean. that litany of what the Sunmaker did to them...I’m not freaking surprised that they don’t trust the Alethi. I wouldn’t. That’s horrible.

Dalinar has a point about living long enough to see his consequences though. And he’s actually doing a pretty good job of owning up to his mistakes and dealing with his consequences.

Probably wouldn’t hurt to, like...apologize to Azir though.

OMG LIFT HI

HI BBY GIRL I LOVE YOU

how the heck did she get in here though? is this some of her connected-to-the-cognitive-realm stuff?

pfff Gawx just being so excited to see her thas cuuutte. Besties 5evar.

OOHHH THE ART IN THE BUBBLE IT’S GOT THE PATCH RIPPED OFF

OHHHHHH OOOOOOHHH OOOOH MY BOY. MY MOASH. AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

he’s alive I’m

aaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

pfft “stew”. nothing will ever live up to Rock’s, I’m sure.

oh wait shit okay

I did not remember that Moash’s king-killing friends were Diagram peeps...I’m assuming we knew that in WoR but I did not remember and that’s... Why would Taravangian want to kill Elhokar? That wouldn’t do much to destabilize anything--that would just put Dalinar more firmly in charge... hm.

unless Taravangian wants Dalinar in charge because he know Dalinar trusts him... dangit. okay.

MEANWHILE I”M UPSET ABOUT MOASH

at least he didn’t throw the patch away. he can sew it back on when he comes back

OH GOD HE’S IMAGINING THEM BEIN HAPPY WITHOUT HIM AND I’M SAD? HE MISSES THEM SO MUCH

AAAAAHHHHHHH

n ooooo he didn’t tell them he didn’t want them to hate you it’s okay just...come hoooommmeee

OH SHIT NO NOT FUSED COME ON

LET HIM LIVE

I S2G

HE GOT A SPEAR OKAY HE’S GOT THIS HE’S THE BEST THEY HAD OH GOSH OKAY

COME ON, MOASH, YOU GOT THIS

“BRIDGE FOUR, BASTARDS” THAT’S MY BOY

IS HE GONNA BE OKAY

WHERE ARE THEY TAKING HIM

WHY ARE THEY TAKING HIM

STOP THEM FROM TAKING HIM

LET HIM COME HOME

I”M CRYING STOP PUT HIM BACK LET HIM COME HOME I MISS HIM

I legit thought he was going to kill Moash, I was ready to drive back to Utah, I WAS READY TO YELL AT PEOPLE OH GOSH

huh. art page: why are the sails on the bottom? Are these air ships? stick the sails into a highstorm, let it push you along on the winds? that...would be dangerous but REALLY COOL?

“Red, stop trying to make deevy a thing, it’s not gonna be a thing.”

it’s like groovy but worse sounding

so when is Ishnah, the espionage lesbian, going to call Shallan’s bluff?

Sorry, Veil’s bluff.

I feel like Shallan’s plotline in this book is just that Onion headline that’s like, “Area [wo]man thought breakdown would be more obvious”

I love Shallan being jealous and suspicious of Adolin’s flames, but Janala isn’t the one you gotta worry about. Danlan’s the one in the Ghostbloods. Ghostbloods? Diagram? shit, I’ve forgotten which evil organization she’s in... or if it even matters. She hasn’t shown up again, has she?

idk, Jasnah, Shallan was justified this time. Anyone making fun of Renarin definitely deserves the Sarcasm Bludgeon.

But Shallan, you weren’t invited on the boys road trip.

though, tbh, that could be fun...

BUT KALADIN JUST LEFT REVOLAR. MOASH JUST ARRIVED OR WAS DRAGGED WHATEVER BUT KALADIN JUST LEFT. THEY COULD HAVE SEEN EACH OTHER, KALADIN COULD HAVE HELPED HIM ESCAPE, HE COULD HAVE COME HOME.

ARRGGHH

“They had no reason to obey the lighteyes. They had no power, no authority.” That’s the problem with tradition. With having something so societially ingrained that you can never shake it, because you don’t think to try.

Moash no. don’t... don’t run yourself into the ground pulling wagons, please, darling, just... don’t die. Don’t give up. Stand your ground, find a way, come home

the letter in the epigraph: “Rayse is contained and we care not fot his prison.” yeah, uh...you gotta....you gotta do maintenance at the very least...to make sure he stays in prison? like...just...check the locks every once in a while? idk. this seems like it might be your fault if he escapes...

Sigzil being scientific and doing tests on them all is still so endearing. I love him.

Also poor Skar. let the man get his squire on, pls.

also, someone who can draw, please, please do an art of Rock doing the “Horneater victory dance” and skipping through a field of wildflowers and butterflies. Please. This is important art.

they still leave a hole in the conference circle for Moash, and hi this is my ghost I’m dead now bye

god, Kaladin would make them do squad formations in the air. Is there a goose-migration vee formation?

SKAR IS A GOOD. A GOOD TEACHER AND A GOOD GLOWING PERSON AAHH

Hey, guys, did you know I love Bridge Four?

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 255: "Hospital”

Previously on BnHA: Aizawa and Present Mic found out their dead best friend Shirakumo was necromanced by All for One and Ujiko and turned into everyone’s favorite villain mom bartender M.D., Kurogiri! Gran Torino and Naomasa were all “hey you guys should talk to him and see if you can restore his memories through the power of friendship” and so they all sat down together to do that. Kurogiri was all “so tell me how is my son Shigaraki Tomura, I love him so much, he is so emo and I must protect him” and Aizawa and Mic were all “THIS GUY HASN’T CHANGED ONE IOTA” and Aizawa started crying and was all “SHIRAKUMO LET’S GET MARRIED AGAIN AND BE HEROES TOGETHER LIKE WE ALWAYS WANTED.” Oh and also we found out Aizawa only fake expelled his previous students and it was just so that he could PREPARE THEM FOR LIFE!! and afterwards they got to go back to U.A. again and live happily ever after. And so basically I’ve lost track of how many hugs Aizawa needs here now but it’s a lot.

Today on BnHA: Shiraguri’s brainwaves start going all wonky and everyone is like “OH SHIT IT’S WORKING” and Aizawa and Mic decide it’s time to shift this drama into overdrive, so they get right up against the glass and start shouting “YOU’RE OUR FRIEND!!” and stuff over and over until IT FINALLY WORKS!! and Kurogiri’s face shifts into Shirakumo’s. Somehow the effect is incredibly sad and moving rather than terrifying as fuck, but unfortunately all Kumo can manage to get out is “hospital” before his mind overloads and he passes out. Fortunately for our heroes, “hospital” is actually an awesome clue which can totally lead them to Tomura and Ujiko’s location if they play their cards right, probably! Or at least Hawks seems really psyched about it, idk. Anyway so the chapter ends with Ujiko going FULL MAD SCIENTIST and wreaking havoc on Tomura’s body in order to -- I’m pretty sure, anyway -- turn him into some kind of fully sentient ultimate high end Noumu. Welllllll shit.

so that sure was a fun little wrinkle last week, huh. the two biggest scanlators deciding that in the spirit of the holidays, they were going to stop translating WSJ series and instead support the official releases out of the goodness of their hearts and definitely not at all because Shueisha was eyeing them threateningly and making little throat-slitting gestures. that was a ride. these are interesting times lol

but at any rate, if this is how it’s going to be for now then I’ll adjust! it is nice to have everyone support the official release, and obviously the image quality is way better, and Caleb’s translations are by and large pretty good. and obviously we’ll get used to reading the chapter on Sundays instead of Fridays (hell, I remember when the SJ leaks still came out on Wednesdays, so it’s not like we haven’t done this same old song and dance before lol). but Friday did happen to be a more convenient day for my schedule personally, so it might take a bit of adjusting for me to figure out what my posting schedule is going to be moving forward

anyways so I’m sorry this recap is so ridiculously late, but here we go at last!

so the Tartarus guard, who by the way is very clearly Seiji’s dad (WHEN ARE THE SHIKETSU KIDS COMING BACK), is tapping frantically at his touch screen even though it’s not doing anything, and he says he’s detecting unusual brainwaves. omg

WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK IT MEANS, OBVIOUSLY THEY UNLOCKED THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP, MAN! THEY DID IT

omfg. the guard just says “he’s agitated.” I’m going to need you to have more hype than that my good sir. please

holy shit Nao

attention everyone, HAS ANYONE SEEN NAOMASA’S FUCKING CHILL, BECAUSE HE SEEMS TO HAVE FUCKING MISPLACED THAT SHIT. someone please explain to this man that there is a time and a place to play good cop bad cop and this is not it. “oh, Shirakumo is starting to recover his memories? well then [busts into the prison cell and grabs him by the collar and slams him against the wall] WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR!?”

(ETA: so apparently Nao’s detective instincts are cleverer than mine. he saw that Kumo was potentially going to emerge, but probably not for long, so he gave him the most important question so he could focus on answering that. good job! still not a lot of chill but hey.)

meanwhile Aizawa is all “if what they said is true I’m looking at my friend’s corpse”, while still crying by the way, and yeah, so MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE. this year Santa decided to change it up and just make everyone real sad. happy holidays

lord he’s leaping to his feet and shouting “WHO DID THIS TO YOU”

meanwhile I can’t stop staring at Present Mic with his tongue sticking out. why are you sticking your tongue out. why are anime characters like this. you know, Stain also used to stick his tongue out. Present Mic U.A. traitor confirmed

also!! so many people have beef with Ujiko, though! pretty soon they will have to take a number and get in line

oh no Kumogiri is malfunctioning

Aizawa’s all “ANSWER ME SHIRAKUMO” and OH MY GOD LOOK AT THIS

I HAVE NEVER SEEN AIZAWA SHOUTA SO INTENSE AND I CAN’T TEAR MY EYES AWAY FROM THE SCREEN AHHHHH

so there’s some more of “WE WANTED TO BE HEROES TOGETHER” and “YOUR NAME IS SHIRAKUMO OBORO” and all of that other “SNAP OUT OF IT ALREADY” stuff, and you’re damn right I am eating ALL THAT SHIT right up, hell yes. IT’S A TROPE FOR A REASON PEOPLE

oh my god

bwo...hh...?

(ETA: I feel like I should explain that although I have a subscription to Viz, I really hate how their chapter viewer is set up, so I read the chapter on one of the vertical scroll-to-read sites instead. I prefer scroll-to-read for a lot of reasons, but the biggest one is so that I can read the chapter slowly (since I’m writing as I go) without spoiling what’s in the next panel. that being said, this next page is one of the few where Viz obviously got it right, so I’ll be posting the full image.)

SDFLSDLFKHSDLKJGOISDJFOSK

（┐° o °  ┐） ( ｣｡╹o╹｡)｣

feelingsfeelingsfeelingsFEELINGS

(ETA: on a reread I am fascinated by the fact that that bandage on his nose actually seems to be A PERMANENT PART OF HIS FACE APPARENTLY lol what.)

READ THE FUCKING ROOM, DUDE. also look how tiny Gran Torino is. he thought we wouldn’t notice through all of our tears. but we did. would you like me to fetch you a box

ha ha ha so now back to the drama

heh so anyway, the fact that this smoke Shirakumo face still looks like a child is straight up destroying me. how are you guys. how is everyone. feliz navidad

FKSLDJSLK HOLD UP

IS HE TRYING TO SAY “SHOUTA”, I CAN’T, I’M?!?!!!!

ADSLFKJALSKDJW

(ETA: I think you can see Shirakumo’s eye rolling back here as he fights against the brainwashing omg. this chapter’s fucking art, though.)

YESSSSSS you keep on ticking off that checklist of clichés, Horikoshi!! I’m so weak for this shit it’s not even funny. actually that’s not true, this plotline is usually hit or miss with me, but I’ll tell you what though, if there’s one guaranteed way to have me freaking the fuck out rather than sighing and rolling my eyes, it’s to have AIZAWA FUCKING SHOUTA be the one pounding on the wall of glass and screaming at his former lover to fight the layers of conditioning waging war on his mind. ohhhhhh god

lol the brainwave detecting screen is losing its fucking shit also and beeping like crazy. this tension is so thick you could plant a flag in it yeesh

is this Kumo remembering stuff??!

(ETA: thank you to the anon who pointed out I posted the wrong image earlier lol.)

why do shounen characters always recall events from a third-person camera view. curse this ambiguous flashback

AHHHHH

HOSPITALLLL ahh what??? “SHOUTA, HOSPITAL.” oh my god. Shirakumo I commend you for not having your first words after dying and being brought back to life and brainwashed for 15 years and then waking up in a straitjacket in a prison cell be, “FUCK ME OH FUCKING SHIT WHAT THE FUCK.” you and I are very different people but I respect that

HOLY SHIT HIS HEAD EXPLODED

so now everyone’s freaking out and we’re zooming in on Kumo’s eye again. by the way this is going to kill me when it’s animated oh god

OH NO THE PANEL WENT BLACK AND IT GOT ALL SILENT

(ETA: hmm I don’t think Caleb Cook knows what “whump” means nowadays. whump is what I wish we had here. instead it’s just lots of hurt but very little comfort. JUST LOTS OF PAIN AND SADNESS.)

Horikoshi please have mercy oh lord. also I see their hands touching, you. they honestly should be gripping each other fucking white-knuckled, this is all very traumatic. I think that if Shouta was holding Mic’s hand while his other hand was pressed against the glass I would probably start sobbing for real

what the fuck

did they knock him back out?? they seem really calm and optimistic about all this lol

oh godddddd

HE’S NOT CRYING YOU’RE CRYING SHUT UP. GOD, MIC, WOULD YOU PLEASE JUST GIVE HIM A HUG ALREADY??

so now they’re bidding farewell to Nao and Gran -- and HOLY SHIT --

okay hold up -- I just realized -- Kumo was trying to give them a hint about Ujiko’s location. holy shiiiiit. PLEASE START INVESTIGATING HOSPITALS, NAO AND GRAN. holy shit the Noumu arc is heating uppppp

Aizawa’s asking what’s happening with Kurogiri now, and I feel like he maybe should have asked that immediately after the fact rather than as an afterthought while they were getting ready to leave but okay

Nao says he kind of “short-circuited or something” and yeah that tracks with what we saw. though it sure does make that “THAT’S ALL FOR TODAY FOLKS, GOOD JOB BOYS, YOU GET A GOLD STAR” business just SUPER WEIRD though, but let’s be real, Nao has been swinging and missing with striking the right tone all day today

and now Gran is apologizing to Mic and Aizawa for the exquisite emotional torture he just put them through, but he says something is bound to come from it. WELL YEAH NO SHIT IT HAD GODDAMN BETTER

Aizawa apparently hasn’t run out of sad/tired/haunted expressions yet, if you can believe it

pretty soon everyone is going to be sad, tired, and traumatized! heh. it’s going to be so fucked up hahaha crying smiling emojiiiii

oh hey and we’re cutting to another flashback of AFO doing what he does best, being callously dismissive of human lives!

this guy. right here. is a rat bastard. for real. also Horikoshi sure picked a hell of a chapter to go all out on the art again, jesus. this is probably the first time I’ve looked at AFO’s fucked up face and actually thought “yep, that’s a mutilated human man” rather than “shouldn’t you be out floating in space with your asteroid friends trying to smash the Millennium Falcon?” so anyways yeah this panel is a big NOPE from me, thank you

but on the other hand, when Horikoshi uses those art powers for good, such as carefully penciling in every last individual hair of Aizawa’s perpetual five o’clock shadow, that I don’t mind so much!

yes. yes good

so now they’re vrooming off, and we’re hanging back with Gran and Nao for a minute

YESSSSS GOOD JOB NAO!!

looooool it’s ringing up the head of the HPSC and her phone’s buzzing and she’s giving it this hella dramatic look. like this is some patented Todoroki-level dramatic whooshing right here

that’s just how dramatic this entire arc is going to be, hopefully

WAIT WHAT’S HAPPENING NOW

IS THAT A CODED MESSAGE FOR HIM TO GO CHECK OUT THE HOSPITAL. AND HOW BUSY ARE YOU, HAWKS. ARE YOU THE “I AM IN SOME DEEP, DEEP TROUBLE” KIND OF BUSY, OR JUST THE STAYING-IN-CHARACTER KIND OF BUSY. YOU CASUAL BASTARD, WHO CAN EVEN TELL WITH YOU, I’LL JUST HAVE TO SCROLL DOWN TO SEE

oh hh my go

“LITTLE LATE TO ASK ABOUT THIS STUFF” so he comes from the Bakugou Katsuki school of tutoring, eh

I love that he actually followed through on explaining the PLF’s philosophy to Twice. and Twice is such a good boy. he’s studying so diligently. look, he didn’t ask to join a doomsday cult, it just kind of happened so now he’s just doing his best to figure it all out

and it definitely was a coded message, then. smoooooth, HPSC lady, smooth. so I wonder if the fact that she gave him a specific hospital implies a time jump. because I don’t think she’d have him investigate just any old hospital until they had a better lead and/or a more solid idea of what they were looking for

lol what the fuck

well I sure do not have any idea what this man is talking about

-- HOSDFLKJDLY SHIT WE’RE CUTTING TO UJIKO WE ARE CUTTING TO FUCKING UJIKO RED FUCKING ALERT!!!

HE’S TALKING ABOUT TOMURA I’M NOT CALMMMMMMMM AHHHHHH

FUCCKLKL FUCK THE WHAT HOLY SHIT WHAT DID HE DO

oh my god oh my god oh m

he made Tomura a Noumu. holy fucking shit that’s what he did. of course. so he’ll be able to possess multiple quirks, but because he benefits from Ujiko’s years of high end Noumu research, his sense of self will remain intact

AND DOESN’T THIS PROCESS JUST LOOK EVER SO PLEASANT. jesus christ. he’s not even allowed to lie down, for some reason this procedure can only be done while he’s hovering over the bed Exorcist-style with his mouth locked open in a silent scream (ETA: or is that actually his laughter we’re seeing?? because this panel wasn’t raw enough already I guess??) while random spurts of blood come chucking out all over the place. well that’s just

and Tomura fucking volunteered for this. how many scores of others didn’t?? holy fucking shit Ujiko. it’s not easy to be the most evil man in a chapter where a foil-wrapped potato with eye holes started waxing poetic about all the children he harvested and killed like some kind of bloodthirsty sommelier, but YOU FOUND A WAY. dancing a fucking jig while your so-called masterpiece is being gruesomely tortured in the foreground. man if there’s any justice in the world, we’ll find out in this arc that Ujiko used science to make himself immortal so that once he’s finally captured they can just keep killing him over and over again. I do not like him!!

so that’s it! we really are doing this thing, holy shit. Noumu arc here we come. see you guys next decade har dee har

[tellywoodtrash]

ishqbaaz/dbo 23.05.17 lb

day 2! please god, let this be a better episode than whatever yesterday was. 😕😕😕

plain text version here. 

oufffff shivaaaay, such screamy. 😣😣😣

ohhhhhhh shit. i thought this was part of the "plan" he made with anika, but nope. BIG BROTHER KNOWS. AND HE IS NOT HAPPY. 😬😬😬

haaaaye, look at this innocent praani. “mujhe kuchhhh samajh mein nahi aa raha haiiiii.” pffft. 🙄🙄🙄

i'm totally relating with shivaay's teeth-grinding waala gussa. kyunki is nikkame ne kaam hi aisa kiya hai. 😠😠😠

before anyone accuses shivaay of being a hypocrite considering how he himself got married, lemme jump to his defense real quick: shivaay's always seen himself as the big bad wolf who does all the dirty work to protect the fam. he does the things he does SO THAT omRu can maintain their innocence and go through life as "the good ones" who never have the bear the weight of such actions on their consciences. i imagine he's very disappointed and angry that om too, fucked up at the start of his marriage in almost the exact same way he did (which is something he still hasn't forgiven himself for, even if anika has.) 😔😔😔

... suddenly subha's nose looks... not that different???? or have i just gotten used to it? 🤔🤔🤔

pffffffft, shut it buamaa. at this rate, shareef toh bas rudra bacha hai. warne baaki sab ke sab... khair chodo. 😒😒😒

"hum teeno ne kuch decide kiya tha, ki ek dusre se kuch chupaayenge nahi"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OK SURE SHIVAAY. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

says the guy who JUST THIS MORNING was avoiding rudra's calls so that he didn't find out sahil had been kidnapped. lmfao, ok NOW you guys can go ahead and call him a hypocrite. 😊😊😊

ouff shivaay, i know this is 45 min ka episode and tujhe lamba kheenchna hai, but JUST SPIT IT OUT ALREADY. 😒😒😒

lol om and jhanvi's “oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit” faces. 😆😆😆

yup, the chairman of Organization for Upliftment of Oberoi Bahus is carrying out his duties much seriously. 😊😊😊

lmao pinky's face be like "ab yeh nayi gareeb kaun hai???" 😂😂😂

lmaoooooooo, way to drop a bomb on dadi, billu. socha bhi nahi ki woh buzurg hai, and the last time you pulled this shit nearly killed her???? she had to go on like, 4 theerth yatras to get over it.  🙃🙃🙃

lollllll rudra-anika arguing terminology. 😂😂😂

shivaay's pulling a real anjali from IPKKND on finding out about baby bro's secret wedding. 😗😗😗

no for real he looks so hurt tho. someone give my boy a hug. 😞😞😞

all i want to know is this: does shivaay know that this bulbul is the current maarta hua chulbul???? 😆😆😆

ohhhhhh boy. buamaa ne bhaanda phod diya. 😬😬😬

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU PEOPLE DON'T FUCKING TALK TO EACH OTHER. 😑😑😑

and pinky, tum toh chup hi raho. badi aayi bataane waali. 😤😤😤

oh shit, NOW WHAT???? 😧😧😧

how did she escape the cops alreadyyyy??? 😯😯😯

OMG WHAAAAAAAAAAAT. i thought shivaay would be the one to face offfff with fauxlana, but IT'S JETHANI JI JR. TO THE RESCUEEEEEE. 

lol ok, too dramaticccc anika. tone it down a little. 😗😗😗

wah. devarji gets in on it too! 😊😊😊

all i want in life is a devar like rudra. 😘😘😘

lmao, though we've never seen you use this body rudra???? your brothers are always having to do the haathapai themselves. 😕😕😕

lo, bade bhaiyya bhi utar gaye maidan mein. ab toh haar maan lo, behenji! 😂😂😂

lol, how much older than SHIVAAY is svetlana supp to be???? 🤔🤔🤔

also hello, what happened to that fast approaching birthday of shivaay's? did we miss it? 😐😐😐

again, no one is bothering to ask her WHY SHE WANTS TO DESTROY THEM. they're just like “yeah, everyone wants to kill us, we're used to it now. 🙄🙄🙄”

bua maaaaa, you're just adding flame to fire. kyun bechaare shivaay ko aise jalaaa rahi ho? 😟😟😟

aw. billuuuuuu. *pats his floofy hair* 😔😔😔

"O bhi bareilly jaake SSO pt. 2 ho gaya."

and therein lies the root of all the problems. and awwwww, poor rudy boy was feeling left out. 😪😪😪

MAN I MISSED THE OBROS. I REALLY REALLY MISSED THESE BOYS AND THEIR BONDDDDDDDDDDD. WHY CAN'T WE JUST HAVE ONE SHOW AGAINNNNN?????? 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

ok this “one for all bs” i did not miss. 😒😒😒

OBRO HUGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 *THROWS MYSELF IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS HANDSOME MAN SANDWICH AND ABSORBS ALL THE LOVE* 😚😚😚

mystery solved: shivRu didn't know chulbul = bulbul. 😅😅😅

LMAOOOOOOOOO SHIVAAY'S FACE. 😂😂😂😂😂😂

ok, i guess everyone's just glad om didn't threaten rape/kidnap anyone to coerce gauri into marrying him that they're all like YAAAAY WEDDING TIME HAPPY TIME. 😕😕😕

dadi doesn't have naseeb to watch any of her kids' weddings. ab bas prinku ek aakhri umeed ka chiraag bachi hai. 😌😌😌

shivaay toh chun chun ke badla le raha hai. if he had to go through all that, he's gonna make damn sure that om suffers through it all too. 🙃🙃🙃

lolololol om's face. so enthused. 😐😐😐

ok shivaay has a lot of opinions on ladkiyaan and their shaadi ke sapne and armaan. 😕😕😕

you guys, don't come for my boy like thisssss. HE'S TRYING OK?????? 😖😖😖

shaadi ke 6 mahine BAAAD pre-wedding functions. this fam is fucking bonkers. chalo, mainu kiiii. maine toh bas dekhna hai. 🙄🙄🙄

i was just thinking where this tikiya chotiiiii was. 😑😑😑

anika ne toh matlab, full on adopted gauri. she's the rudra to gauri's anika. 😊😊😊

which bhaabi you talking to? use their names, kid. 😐😐😐

aaaaaand her nose is back to looking f'd up. 😕😕😕

lmaooooo i missssed rudra's taaang adaaana so much. 😂😂😂

"MAIN jaa raha hoon" 

*firmly grasps HER hand and quickly pulls her along* 😏😏😏

snorttttttt, rudra. ek hi dialogue kitni jagaon pe maaroge? 😆😆😆

lol all the big brothers taking their wives and leaving poor rudy boy alone. 😂😂😂

OMG GOOD DADI STILL CONSIDERS SUMO AS "BIWI". 😧😧😧

pleaseeeeeeeeeee god, let all this love ka magiccc shit be referring to SAUMYA. 💗💗💗

siiiiiiiigh, i guess this is our new girl. *moodily stares at her* 😕😕😕😒😒😒

YAAAAAAAAAS, ANIKA/GAURI BONDING!!!!!!!!! THIS IS LITERALLY WHAT I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR SINCE FEBRUARYYYYYY!!!!!!!! 😭😭😭

... what about the super serious conversation om took gauri to have tho???? 🤔🤔🤔

omfg pinkyyyyyy i hate youuuuuu. please die, thanks. 👿👿👿

hee hee hee, rudra getting his two grumpy older brothers ready. 😂😂😂

lmaoooo om's frustration with his jackettttt. what a child. 😆😆😆

"UNCLE" omfg. 😂😂😂

the uncles do not look amused. 🙈🙈🙈

let's all take a moment to appreciate shivaay in black tho. haaaaaaye. i am truly blessed today.  😻😻😻😻😻😻

"apne bhaiyya saade dus se pehle so jaate hai. o saade dus ke baad hi dikhta hai, aur mera kya hai, main toh dikhta hi nahi hoon!"

lolololol dude, i love these meta jokes ok. they never get old to me. 😂😂😂

yeah, how many times have you idiots made this promise to each other? fuck it, just give up now. 🙄🙄🙄

my man rudra spitting the truth about how fucked up this house is. WE DIDN'T EVEN GET TO THE GIRL IN THE FREEZER. 😫😫😫

"ek ghante ka episode hai. mahasangam." 

snort. 😂😂😂

looking gooooooood, 3rd generation oberois. i love prinku's earrings. 😍😍😍

waaaah, synchronized entry by the girls. 😌😌😌

look at the contrast in faces of the boys tho. 😂😂😂

meme time! your crush looking at you when you enter a room.

expectation: 

“OMFG. AN ANGEL. MUST KISS NOW.” 

reality:

“WHO DIS BASIC?” 

hey guys??? where's tej? did 🐊🐊🐊 jango 🐊🐊🐊 eat him when no one was looking? 😶😶😶

ok that was a realllllllllll contrived fall. BUT I'M NOT COMPLAINING, BECAUSE HAAAAAYE LOOK HOW BOOTIFUL MY BABIES LOOK. 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

HOLY SHIT BOY. HOW YOU LOOK AT HER LIKE THIS AND NOT KISS HER??? HOW???? 😫😫😫

excuse me for a bit, i need to pause and admire his expression for 5 minutes. 😍😍😍

"thande thande paani se nahaana chahiye, shivaay bhaiyya ko anika bhabi ko pakadne ka bahaana chahiye." 

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. 😂😂😂

btw, does om not do shayari anymore? ghatiya as it was, i miss it. 😢😢😢

HOOOOOOOOOLY SHIT. 😧😧😧

MERI MAANO SHIVAAY, FUCK THE FUNCTIONS, JUST TAKE THE GIRL UPSTAIRS AND BANG. 😯😯😯

"isse zyaada pyaar se toh police chor ko pakadti hai" 

pfffft, i'm sure fauxlana would disagree with you, dadi. 😝😝😝

ugh ommmmmmmmmmm. you're such an asshole these days. you need another talking to from bhaiyya and jethani ji, methinks. 😒😒😒

rudra, please be the checks and balances that the messed up riKara relationship needs right now. 🙁🙁🙁

he's trying to tell you that you look hotttt, girl. let him. 😏😏😏

haaaaaaaaye, theirrrrr smilessssssss. my babiesssssssssssss. 💖💖💖💖💖💖

OMGGGGGG HE CALLED HER "KHIDKIIIIIIITODDDD KHOOBSOORAT" I CAN'TTTT HANDLEEEEEEE. I... THEY'RE... 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

PINKY GTFO WITH YOUR BURI NAZAR. *waves nimbu mirchi around my children's head* 😠😠😠

ugh whyyyyyyyy is pinkyyyyy even here i hate her so much she's ruining everythinggggg I JUST WANT MY GIRL TO BE HAPPYYYYYYYY 😩😩😩

goddamn, nakuul just looks too fucking handsome today. they shoulda chipkaofied disclaimer at start of episode so i could have mentally prepared myself. 😣😣😣

"warning: show ka hero aaj full black pehne hue BEHADH AMAZEBALLS lagta hai, aur pyaaaar bhari aankhon se heroine ko ek ghate ke liye lagataar dekhta hai. kripya show saavdhaani se dekhein." 

competition: whose zeher bhari kaatil nazrein are worse, pinky's or om's???? 😬😬😬

i guess this is the remarriage plot we've all been waiting forrrr. look how happy my girllll looooooks. she deservesssss it, my queeeeen. 😌😌😌

poor gauri. *pats her extremely beautiful head* 😞😞😞

awwwwwwwwwww, bade bhaiyya and bhaujaiiii are here for moral support. 😊😊😊

honestly, i don't care if this show doesn't have a plot anymore, i just wanna see shivaay and anika's loving and supportive relationships with everyone else in the fam. and a sesky scene with them in every episode. 🙃🙃🙃

ok don't like this weird tinkly happy "saathiya". it's weird. 😕😕😕

BOY STOP LOOKING AT HER LIKE THIS. LIKE... HONESTLY, MY FUCKING HEART CANNOT HANDLE THIS AFTER A LONG HARD DAY OF WORK. REHEM KARO MUJHPARRRRR. 😩😩😩😩

OMFG, I SPOKE TOO SOON. I SPOKE TOO SOON. TOO MUCH HOTNESS. MY FACE IS MELTING. 😧😧😧😲😲😲

"normal log jo hote hai... tumhari tarah nahi, NORMAL..." 

pffffffffft. hello kettle, this is pot. YOU'RE BLACK. 🙄🙄🙄

PYAAAAAAAR. DID HE SAY PYAAAAAAR???? 😯😯😯

omfg their little finger wrigglesssss at each other. I AM FUCKING DYING FROM THE CUTE. I AM I AM I AM. 😍😍😍😍😍😍

i honestly need to fucking pause and lie down for a bit, coz jesus christ this is just getting too much for me. ☠☠☠

"sanki singh oberoi kabhi bhi sweet singh oberoi ban sakta hai." 

YEAH BITCH SOME WARNING WOULDA BEEN NICE THO?!?!?!! 😩😩😩

pedantic singh oberoi can't let go of the "happy birthday" thing, can he? 🙃🙃🙃

awwwwwwwwww. new kangannnnnn. 😊😊😊

NOWWWWW PLEASE DON'T GIVE THESE AWAY, YOU OVERLY SACRIFICIAL IDIOT GIRL. 😒😒😒

pehle se her haath are so full, kangan pehnaayega kaise? 🤔🤔🤔

men, so easily freaked out by tears. pffffft, babies. 🙄🙄🙄

yes, get the cheapdi outttttt already. while you're at it, throw mummeh out toooo!😤😤😤

and bring mahi ve in!!!!!! 😊😊😊

ouffffffff oh, again with the 20 year old songs. whyyyyyy can't this show afford newer songs???????? honestly. 😑😑😑

who these random ppl who justttt showed up to dance? 🤔🤔🤔

also, you ppl know my sentiments to naach gaana... so fwding. ⏩⏩⏩

GOD. SUCHHHHHHHH HEAVY HANDED WITH THE SHIVAAY SINGING TO OMKARA BIT. WHAT NONSENSE. AWAIIII KA DRAMA. 🙄🙄🙄

lmao, om certainly got persuaded pretty easily to dance. 😂😂😂

whereeee was buamaaa allll this timeee? 😐😐😐

shivaay's happiness since discovering gauri is fucking amazing. i love it. may it become x1000 once he discovers devrani = saali. 😇😇😇

ok are the last 10 min just slo mo dancing? 😒😒😒

YOU GUYS KNOW WHAT WOULD BE A FUCKING AMAZING TWIST RN? IF ROOP BUA CAME BACK RIGHT NOW. WITH MRS. KAPOOR. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. 😈😈😈

guess we have to settle for NT ka cheapdapan. 😒😒😒

lol dadi and buamaa's faces = mine. 😒😒😒

lmaooooooooo sahil escaped his confinement to come jam with everyone. 😂😂😂

nazarrrrrrrrr toh ghar ke andarrrr ke logg hi laga rahe hai, hmph. 😤😤😤

haaaye my babies. such beautifullll. 😍😍😍😍😍😍

lol sharmaaa kyun raha hai billuuu? remember when you brought a buffalo into the house to get her to throw gobar at you???? 😆😆😆

lol shivaay be like 😂😂😂:  

also, bitch please, she already told you she loves you. no need to get all oooooooh pyaaaaar. you’re the one who hasn’t told her yet! 😒😒😒

also, KAHIN BHI SHURU HO JAATE HO, KISI KE BHI SAAMNE????? THODA SA TOH CONTROL KARO! 😧😧😧

lmao, everyone ELSE is feeling awkward, but yeh bhaisaab toh is too high on pyaaar to notice. 😂😂😂

tum aur tumhara pati kisi aur ko bolne de toh woh bolein. 😑😑😑

lol shivaay helpfully translating "gaiyyaaan" for everyone. 😂😂😂

lmao anika's impressed face + shivaay's slightly intimidated face @ "dabanggg gauri" 😂😂😂😂😂

"jaise electronics ke saath manual aata hai, in bhaabiyon ke saath dictionary aani chahiye" 😂😂😂😂

of course shivaay thinks "jhaap" is a high five. 🙄🙄🙄

precap: OMG YAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSS SHIVAAAAAAAAAAY FINALLLLLLLLLY KNOWSSSSSS. 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

[cupcakeshakesnake]

Watching The Husbands of River Song for the first time

(When I started writing the post I messed up my typing and the title said “Watchgin the Husnabds of REierv Sogn for the fitrst time”)

-Oh dear, one episode closer to catching up to the show, and one step clser to a yet unknown source of heartbreak.

tf is this flying dish

Wait, they’re celebrating Christmas in 5343?

-Wow Jesus looks like you’ve really outdone yourself

-TARDIS

-TARDEEEEHS

Why is the music all doom-y and scary like this is something bad That is the best note ever

-HEEEEyyyyy it’s the bald guy from the Series 10 trailer!!

-He looks like he’d be a mouse or a hamster if he was an animal

“Is there anything on my head?”

-YES THERE IS

-OH GOSH

IT’S CONTAGIOUS

-I MUST RUN BEFORE RED CHRISTMAS RUDOLPH ANTLERS SPROUT UP ON MY HEAD

-well hello alien santa under the hood

-RIVEEEEEEER

-WTF

-WHAT THE FAAAAAAAAQ

-wait why is she so pissed-- OHHHHHH

-IT’S BEFORE SHE wait hold on a minute

-This is the first time she’s seeing his twelfth incarnation in-show, yes? No?

-*checks Wikipedia* Yes I’m right but...

-I think I’ll have to watch more before jumping to conclusions

-By the way, this.

A time travelling alien as old as time and also a fluffy grinning cat.

-”My husband is dying.”  Doctor: wtf is going on am i about to cross my own timestream or what

-”wtf river”

-Ah yes, flurry snow in the middle of a bajillion cogwheels, brilliant intro.

-Oh shit it’s Moffat

-Poor Twelve must be confused so much.

-River looks like she’s faking though. She’s not the kind of person who coos at people like that.

(unfortunately I could not find a stock photo of a cat looking exactly like this. pity.)

-No, seriously. Look at this cate.

-Anyway who the fuck is that guy in that disproportionately large armor, like, where in the actual sarlacc butthole did he come from

-River Song’s Drama has increased by 100!

-uhhh lemme see I think that’s a mix of Megaman, the old Transformers cartoon and ahh what’s that one videogame I swear there are videogames with people wearing hulky armor like that

-DAMN TWELVE DROPPIN IT

-I don’t even

-I don’t even know what I’m watching

-And yet there’s this lingering fear in the back of my mind that’s still scared of the text “Written by Steven Moffat”

-Wait, if she’s talking to the people in the little screens and they react accordingly to her gestures, then it means they’re watching her too, but where’s the camera?

-Doctor: “the fuck”

-”Do you recognize me?”  “No”  So the Doctor said no because of something unrelated but I swear a part of him just wanted to get back at River

-HE’S WHITE DIAMOND, GEMS HAVE GENDER, WHITE DIAMOND CONFIR-- nevermind wrong show

-”You’re talking about murdering someone!”  “No I’m not, I’m actually murdering someone.”

-”Do you know who you remind me of?”   “Yes, probably of a chap with a big-” (he means big chin, don’t get any ideas)   “My second wife!”

-The dialogue is top notch in this episode

-Oh no, it’s the robot king who doesn’t look like he can eat his enemies very efficiently and his legion of...

...sword-wielding Jawas.

-Heck, they even sound like Jawas.

-what the effing head

-”I wondered why we didn’t share a bathroom”

-Well for me it explains the nonsense body proportions

-”Decision overruled. Recommendation: Chill.”

-I love how the robot suit says “Chill”, it’s just so.. chill. It’s actually chilling out. It’s the chillest robot in robot history.

I have paused at just the right moment

They’re nerding out together

-Aw the Doctor’s laughing

-He’s having so much fun

-”I haven’t laughed in a long, long time.”  There. All the more merrier because of that.

-Oh god

-Okay how many people are River Song gonna hang around with in this episode

-”He only has twelve faces” OHHHHH BECAUSE RIVER DOESN’T KNOW THAT THE TIMELORDS GAVE HIM A NEW REGENERATION CYCLE DOES SHE

‘Little do they know the BBC wanted to continue the show for another fifty years.’

-noooo not the bald guy nuuuuu

-What a cynical robot

-DOCTOR JUST TELL HER THAT IT’S YOUR TARDIS

-Poor Doc

-”Oh yeah I’m SURE I’ll get SOOOO surprised”

-”It’s my girl.”

-The sarcasm is strong with this one.

-”Oh it’s BIGGER on the INSIDE how SURPRISING because I’ve NEVER seen one beFORE”

I’M DYING ASDGSDJSA;;

-”Wait, my Tardis had a fridge?”

-Sooooo when River was with Eleven she was the better driver (in terms of comfort; no offense to Eleven’s Timelording skills in general) but now Twelve is probably the calmest drver so far and River’s, well... not so much.

-”Of course I’m NOT getting frustrated by you doing everything wrong and trying to give you instructions because it’s CLEARLY not my Tardis how can you even SUGGEST such a thing”

-”Yes thank you I am a quick learner and NOTHING else, NOTHING like I’ve flown this Tardis countless times before”

-So if the Tardis can’t take off while someone’s both in and out, then this wouldn’t work, huh.

(From one of the Bunny Suicides books)

-”What sort of medical school did you go to?”

-A king does not unnecessarily endanger the lives of his people... Unless he is cross.

-LOGIC

-OH SHIT THAT GUY’S HEAD GOT CHOPPED OFF TOO

-”Death initiated.”

-The fuck kind of Star Wars cantina did they walk into

-”They’re still digesting their mother.”

-”--I will rip you open and devour you--”    “It’s my stomach.”

-Even the guy whose wife got eaten by his kids is going ‘wtf’

-The fuck kind of CGI was that

-”This is where genocide comes to kick back and relax.”    Oh boy, that’s gonna get on the Doctor’s nerves.

-”Why are you frowning?”   “How’d you know?”   “It’s audible.”

-”The man who gave me this was the sort of man who’d know exaclty how a long a diary you’re going to need.”  “Oh yeah that’s definitely not me”

-I SAW THAT EYEBROW RAISE, RIVER SONG, YOU CHEEKY LITTLE TIME TRAVELLER

-Annnnd River’s supposed to be paid by a Voldemort with a nose.

-WHAT THE FUCK HIS HEAD OPENS UP

-JEEZ!

-YOU HAVE A JAWBREAKER IN YOUR HEAD??!?

-OH MY FUCKING GOD EVERYONE HAS CRACKED UP HEADS

-For some reason, Credits seems to be the common term for whatever currency is used vaguely in scifi universes. They have Credits in Star Wars too!

-Whoever is playing that pale guy is going to have a royally sore throat by the end of the episode.

-”Hail Hydra”

-You should probably just give him the head...

-To be fair you crackhead guys did creep them out

-The thing.

-Did the head just run away or something, why are the Doctor and River so uneasy, do they really just don’t want to witness a brain surgery or am I missing something here

-Dang it Doctor.

-”The skyyyy shall crrrrrack”

-Well the head is there...

-what. the. fuck. is. happening.

-”At last I am whole again”  Well I wouldn’t really call it whole if your body’s a robot but...

-Okay.... that happened.

-*hastily muffled Steven Universy screeching*

-SCREW YOU CATFISH BUG MAN

-Why do his eyebrows make a squeak sound

-”A picnic at Asgard...”  MARVEL/DOCTOR WHO CROSSOVER CONFI-- nevermind

-jesus christ why is that guy so intent on reading River’s diary out loud

-’The Angels Take Manhattan’ was three seasons ago. And yes, that episode was written by Moffat too.

-”An infinite number of faces”   Well, I wouldn’t say it’s infinite per se...

-Besides, if there’s only the head left, wouldn’t that kind of hinder the regeneration, if not stop it altogether?

-Wait, since when was the robot the king and not the head?

-I don’t like the catfish bug guy with the French mustache. In fact, I am liking him less and less by the second.

-WHOA WAIT THAT ROBOT COULD STORE MULTIPLE HEADS IN IT? I THOUGHT IT JUST TOOK ONE OFF AND PUT ON ANOTHER

-Dammit River why would you want to hurt him like that HE IS RIGHT THERE  ;_;

-;_;

-*CRYING EMOJI INTENSIFIES*

-”Two hearts, stupid clothes--”  Well the latter changed a bit.

-MOFFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT

-DAMMIT MOFFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT

-HE IS RIGHT THERE

-DAMMIT MOFFAT

FUCK YOU MOFFAT

-TAKE MY HEART AND RIP IT APART SOME MORE WHY DON’T YOU

-”I’m an archaeologist from the future.  I dug you up.”

-DAMN

-”What do you think of my new body”  “I’ll let you know, I’ve only seen the face”  Okay it’s either me or Moffat that isn’t aware that this is a family show.

-She caught it in her f-cking boobs

-HER BOOBS

-FAMILY SHOW

-”FAMILY SHOW”

-”So, King Hydroflax?”  (idk how tf it’s spelled)  “I married the diamond!”  (”wE ARE THE CRYSTAL--””SHUT UP!!”)  “So you say.”  “Elizabeth the First.”  “Ramone.”  “Marilyn Monroe!”  “Stephen Fry!”  “Cleopatra!”  “Same thing!”

-IF YOU HAVEN’T GUESSED ALREADY, I’M DYING

Glowing cables.

-”Crashing spaceships, that’s my job.”  I feel like I should write a sentence that rhymes with this, but unfortunately I can’t.

-OH THE TOP PART OF HIS SCREWDRIVER ROTATES

-”I’ve been doing it longer!”  “I do it better!”  Like how you drive the Tardis, for example.  (I can also see the above dialogue used in a very, very, wrong, scenario, but I’ll just keep quiet and hope that it wasn’t Moffat’s intention.)

-river u ok?

-k

Looks like one of those audio equipment machines.

-Reminds me of the ‘Profit’ memes.

-1. Crash ship  2. Look outside  3. FIRE  4. Nope the fuck outta there and travel forward in time  5. ??  6. Profit

-1. Visit some yet-to-be tour spot  2. Give money to a random guy and tell him to set up a restaurant  3. Travel forward in time  4. ???  5. Profit

-River why aren’t you closing the Tardis door

-THE GOD DAMN BOT

-Oh look Nardole’s alive too

-”Now that, my dear, is a suit.”  Gotta agree.

HOLE-LEE SHEE-EHT

-THAT’S THE SCREWDRIVER FROM ‘SILENCE IN THE LIBRARY’

-THAT WAS SEASON FOUR

-MOFFAT

-YOU’VE CONSTRUCTED A PLOT STRING THAT SPANS FIVE SEASONS YOU BIG ASSHOLE GENIUS SPIDER

(Screencap of webpage http://www.chakoteya.net/DoctorWho/30-9.htm)

-HOLY FLUKES HOW DARE YOU

-”Are you crying?”

-i-- yes yes i am  blame moffat not me

-”There are stories about us, you know.”  “Oh, I dread to think.”  Been looking around AO3, have you River?

-m o f f a t   y o u   m o t h e r f u c k e r

-asdflsdhglljfhslhHSAHG

-ASJDAFLHGLASDJHGFALSDF

-sglsdhgflWEGyglhsghsgFLH;;1 LDG lJHGJLHAGLJhglhgljhglhHS DFHS5134 GLHFGLSDHFGh 454123gshdHFJHgjGSJDFL

-$^B&C%TB#%*&#BWKUWURH#$VB&*#B*:#V:B&*$&*B#&VBBBEYBYEBYFF

Moffat you deceitful fuck, I won’t trust you until the very end

-But thank you for sparing us from saying goodbye to her face

You forgot to say ‘forever’

-Please just let them stay together happily for those 24 years

HA I spelled it right

-Overall one of the best Christmas specials in my personal opinion, and top-notch acting by Capaldi. Really, top, notch.

[gameofbrodon-blog]

My dog is named after the greatest character in GoT history

BRO.DIE. BRODIE. BROOOODIE!

I’m still not recovered. Will I ever recover? God I hope not.

Big call, especially cos there are 3 more episodes to go, but this was the best episode in all of Game of Thrones - terrible lighting and all!

We start with a gorgeous long one take shot that pans and slides with the cast as they prep for battle IN COMPLETE SILENCE. The tension! The camera choreo to get that shot done in one take! What a beginning!!

Arya tells Sansa to go to the Crypt cos she can’t fight and she’s useless. She gives her a dagger, and Sansa says she doesn’t know how to use it, and in a moment that legit made me think Arya would die this ep (CIRCLE MOMENT) she tells her to “Stick them with the pointy end”. SOB. 

Then, out of the darkness, Melisandre rides forward. Jorah is like, Bitch What? And then Mel LIGHTS THE DOTHRAKI SWORDS ON FIRE! But wait, is this hope I feel? Don’t get used to it Jords, because then J-Dawg, Ghost and the Dothraki charge towards the army of the dead. We just see their flaming swords in the darkness and it’s badass AF but then... slowly... one by one... their swords go out COS THE ARMY OF THE DEAD KILLED ALL THE DOTHRAKI. No one survives the Dothraki, so like, GoT has destroyed all hope we had for a fleeting second there.

J-Dawg rides back injured but alive and we breathe a sigh of relief. 

The AOD charge forward and like totally overrun the Unsullied and we have the first of like 40 moments in this ep where we think Greyworm is gonna die and can’t take the love of his life Missandei to Naath after they survive. (It’s ok. He’s alive!)

Cue badly lit chaos and a lot of people dying. First “real” death of this season is when a Wight attacks Sam and he falls to the ground but then Edd saves him and while Edd is like “SAM YOU LAZY GIT GET UP” he gets a sword in the back of his head and he dies. I’d like it on the record that I predicted he would die, thank you very much. 

Moving on, the fight is too much for our Northmen so they retreat into the castle. Dany is supposed to light the trench with Dragon fire but she and Jonny boy are riding dragons in the clouds and can’t see.

So Mel walks VERY SLOWLY CONSIDERING THE VERY REAL AND IMMEDIATE DANGER THEY’RE ALL IN and she starts chanting her magic language and lights the trench on fire. 

For a moment we think we’re safe, but then the AOD starts throwing themselves into the fire to put it out and let other AOD walk over their dead x 2 bodies and start climbing the castle walls. DRAMA.

Jon + Dany + Night King are having a dragon fight in the clouds that is very hard to follow cos all the dragons look black in the darkness and I dunno who’s who. 

In the Crypt, Tyrion and Sansa have a MOMENT (do I sense a real *spark* between them?!) where she says he was the best husband she had (not hard TBH). 

Back up stairs and our faves are battling for their lives now that the AOD have climbed the wall. Brienne and Jaime are fighting side by side. SYMBOLISM. They both have swords forged from Ned Stark’s sword Ice. So like, they are two halves of a whole. LOVE. 

Pod is fighting near Tormund and both being badass. Gendry is out there looking hot and probably feeling really smug cos he banged Arya. Arya is legit KILLING IT with her fancy spear thing and honestly looks like this is just a warm up for her. 

Lilttle Lyanna is fighting for her life, and truly proving her claim that one warrior from Bear Island is worth 10 men. Cos she charges A GIANT who then picks her up and crushes her ribs. But what does Lyanna do? SHE STABS HIM IN THE EYE WITH DRAGON GLASS AND HE DIES. RIP Lyanna you angel. I miss you. Brodie this was the start of arms above head panicked Jords just FYI. I cried for Lyanna.

Back to fighting, and Arya is being such a badass that when The Hound (who is legit terrified) see’s her being chased by the AOD he turns into Super Dad and charges after her to save her. Arya is hiding in the library where the AOD are being very respectful of the Quiet rule. Her blood drops are super loud though so they find her and chase her. Hound and Beric find her and protect her, and we learn the reason the Lord of Light saved him - his purpose was to protect Arya. RIP Beric you badass.

Mel is for some reason inside a random room in the castle and she reminds Arya that she predicted she would kill brown eyes, green eyes (FORESHADOWING THAT SHE’S GONNA KILL CERSEI?!) and blue eyes. I’m so thrown that I didn’t realise then that Arya was gonna kill the night king cos like, DUH. She then asks Arya “What do we say to the God of death” and Arya responds “NOT TODAY” ohhhhhh S1 throwback. I’m crying again.

Back to the dragon fight and Jon and Night King are battling it out and WW Viserion bites Rhaegals neck so bad he crashes to the ground. Night King falls off his Dragon and Dany swoops after him and tries to kill him by Dragon Fire. LOL Dany you should have know that wasn’t gonna work.

Jon starts to charge the NK and then NK does his arm raise throwing back to the battle of Hardhome, and all the dead rise again. INCLUDING THE BODIES IN THE CRYPT. Everyone down there is running and screaming and Tyrion/Sansa hide behind her Dad’s crypt (side note - did Nedd not raise cos he was headless??). They have ANOTHER moment when Tyrion kisses her hand and they run off together to join their friends and hope for someone to save them.

Jon charges the NK but doesn’t get to him in time and all the new AOD attack him. Dany comes back with Drogon and kills them all with fire. Jon runs off to find and save Bran, but the AOD have climbed on Drogons back and he has to fly off and shake them off in the sky. Dany is stuck on the ground surrounded by the AOD with no weapons and TBH, no real fighting skills.

Her lover J-Dawg runs in just in time to fight for her and save her. Dany picks up an abandoned sword and fights too. Jorah does all the real work though. He keeps getting hurt but he doesn’t stop cos his love for Dany fuels him on.

In the Godswood, Bran is sitting there DOING SHIT ALL while Theon is killing all the AOD soldiers. They stop when the NK arrives, and he does this super slow walk over. Bran tells Theon he’s a good man, and I cried a lot. Theon knows he’s gonna die but instead of running away from his fears, he runs to them and charges at the NK with a spear. He dies, but it’s brave and poetic. The NK then just stares at Bran for approx. 500 years.

Jon is playing hide and seek with WW Viserion and his fire, Dany and J-Dawg are fighting and losing, all our faves are still alive but nearly about to lose. NK reaches for his sword to kill Bran, and OUT OF NO WHERE OUR GODDESS AND SAVIOUR ARYA MOTHERFUCKING STARK JUMPS OUT OF NOWHERE AND ATTACKS THE NIGHT KING. YASSSSS! He notices and spins around and catches her, but she drops her dagger to the other hand and stabs him in the belly. She’s done this move before FYi - when she was sparring with Brienne in S7. THE NIGHT KING IS DEFEATED AND IT’S OFFICIAL... MY DOG HAS THE BEST NAMESAKE EVER! GO ARYA!

All the AOD die again, and the day is saved! 

Some other things happen - Mel takes off her magic necklace and turns old again and dies, Jorah succumbs to his injuries and dies in Dany’s arms while she sobs over his body (CALLED IT. At least he died a Hero. Still sad.), and Jon looks triumphant even though he did shit all this whole battle. I love Jonny Boy but like, what did he even do besides fly a dragon and play hide and seek with another Dragon???

Now we need to go kill Cersei for 3 episodes.

WINTER CAME AND WINTER WAS DEFEATED BY ARYA STARK OUR QUEEN AND ICON. BOW DOWN BITCHES.

This episode was basically one long love letter to Arya and I’m not mad about it.

x Jords

[katesjourneytofindhappiness]

Sunday, May 6th 2018 Day 1

I feels ridiculous to be back on this silly website. But I think during the next few months it could be very therapeutic to get my thoughts in order and in the past this has been a really good outlet for me. So. Anyway. Due to recent events I am beginning a quest for self betterment. Today is Day 1. And it will go on for the rest of my life I think. It starts with me journaling again. Something I've wanted to go back to for a long time. Let this be the first accomplishment of many to come. 

It feels surreal. 

But I’m okay. Everything I thought I was so sure of is cloudy now, but it’s okay. I’m pretty angry with myself. But I also feel incredibly driven, angry in a positive way, if that makes sense.

It makes it that much worse that I also truly saw all of these things during the past couple weeks. And I was so ready to let all of it go, to start over, to move forward with new purpose, direction, and confidence. Stress has been eating me alive, and the jury is out on whether that is something you can control.  Can you just chose to get over it? To put on a smile and actually believe it? Or is it something chemical, beyond my ability to reign in. I’m sure it’s probably a mix of both. Is it an excuse to say it’s something you can’t control? Probably.

It’s funny because everything I had put so much pressure on myself to achieve seems so insignificant now. How does any of it matter anymore? I know of course that it does, and of course I still want to make the best future for myself, but it’s as if my eyes were closed for the past year and now suddenly they’ve opened. I think the hardest pill to swallow about all of this is that I had this epiphany while watching Hector’s Journey to Find Happiness or whatever the hell it’s called, and you know that feeling when it just HITS you? Not in the typical way when you have little flashlight moments and you’re like, “ohhhhhh, hmm there’s a thought”. No, I mean one of those rare, major, life-changing moments when it’s like, “HOLY SHIT THIS IS IT!”. Well that’s how I felt a few days ago, and when I came home that over-the-top stress and anxiety should have hit me. But it didn’t. I felt really happy honestly. Aside form the unshakeable feeling that something was off. On Friday I watched this Bat-dad video and I was laughing with such care-free joy and I realized that it was all okayyyyyy. And sure, people have been telling me that for the past year of my life but this time I really felt it, really knew it.

And I was so damn excited to just start over, to be free, and happy, and lighter, and turn over a new leaf and all that cliche bullshit and I did my hair in the morning, and had real conversations with patients, and I had so much to tell him and then he started down that road and I just knew. It was all too little too late. And that really fucking sucks. I feel like I rediscovered him the last week. I realized that he was what matters, what I wanted, and whatever work I had to put in to make it work on any level was completely achievable. The previous weeks I KNEW that I was blowing it and I had that “WOAHHH RED LIGHT” conversation with myself after which I was SO DAMN READY to go a whole new direction.

I really liked who I was in the beginning. I wasn’t stressed about anything then, aside from going to acting auditions. And I was open to everything, and so excited to learn new things and try new things and see simple things. My god, that seems so long ago. And I remember I was worried about a relationship getting in the way of everything that I wanted to accomplish. And I remember at some point just completely letting go of all of my concerns and giving myself totally and completely to him because he was the best thing life. And somewhere along the line I let everything I wanted for our future get in the way of where we actually were in the moment.

It’s almost laughable because it’s like this event has completely cured me of all the stress. Like it just seems so SILLY! I guess it put everything in perspective. Like it’s all just so unimportant compared to things like friendships, relationships…. you know, the real shit.

So where to go from here…..there are a lot of things about myself that I had recently been thinking about bettering. Self betterment. And I feel like such an event forces you to face the reality of how important these things really are. I just lost the most important aspect of my life and it’s my own damn fault. Damnnnnnn, right? Fucked up. Well, I don’t want to accept that this has happened. That that’s just it. Maybe I’m not accepting it, maybe that’s why I’m surprisingly composed right now. Well regardless of what is driving this sudden alarming motivation right now (I just worked out for an hour, tf???) I’m going to run with it. Points of self betterment that I am choosing to work on now, not in the future, not when it’s convenient, now because I’ll be damned if I am EVER letting this happen again.

1. Stop being so afraid of everything. I am so afraid of dying, of terrorist attacks, of everyone I care about dying, of people not liking me (that warrants its own separate point), of cars, freak accidents, etc. This is another point that the Hector movie really made me think about. The woman who was dying on the plane said, “people who are afraid of death are afraid of life”. I used to be fearless. And thirsty for adventure. Free, reckless, light, honestly I think I used to have a really beautiful soul. Creeping on my old tumblr makes me realize that. I used to be bursting with poetry because I thought everything was so damn beautiful all the time. Where did she go? Now the idea of climbing mountains, or driving in the fast lane, going to concerts scares me because something bad could happen. Someone could die. Well you know what that’s always going to be true. But someone could also have the time of their life. They could see the most breathtaking view, share it with the most breathtaking person. They could….omg… feel alive?? And isn’t that what life is? Risking everything to get the most out of a time that’s limited no matter how cautious you are? I want to get that lust for adventure back.

2. Learn how to deal with stress. I think a lot of my first point is relevant here. I’m just generally very worried. Sometimes not even about something specific. Just generally worried, and I think a lot of that comes from fear. Fear of not succeeding, fear of losing someone, fear of getting hurt. Everything always works out. The work always gets done. I know that. So I need to learn how to embrace this knowledge in the moment and let it be.

3. BE HERE, NOW. I live in the future. It’s the classic case of pushing happiness off into the future, instead of appreciating what is now. I set deadlines for myself to get things done. And I don’t mean concrete things in the sense that school work has deadlines. I mean I set deadlines for myself to have everything lining up. Like having my friend circle be healthy at the same time that both of my houses are perfectly clean at the same time that I am proficient at all of my instruments at the same time that I am working at the perfect job etc etc etc and none of it is realistic. Everything here, right now is enough. It is perfect. And it is everything that I need.

4. Learn how to cook. I need to stop being so damn helpless. A funny aspect of this situation is that I suddenly realized I have to feed myself this week. Bring it the Frick on.

5. Make time for hobbies everyday. I feel upset when I feel like I’m not doing something to better myself in a well-rounded sense, meaning I am not improving artistically. This also all goes back to a previous point I made about getting STRESSED when I don’t feel like I’m moving forward, and I mean in EVERYTHING! So even if I get a lot done in one field, I feel stagnant in another. And the problem is that I have a hard time allowing myself to take on multiple things at once. And that might sound like the opposite of what a stressed, anxious person needs but actually I think it is exactly what I DO need. I think it’s more of a stressor to expect myself to only be devoted to ONE thing all day everyday and not take any breaks or think about anything else. In this case I mean studying. There’s no reason I can’t study while also taking some time to play an instrument, or sing, or spend time with friends. It’s funny because I’m always so upset that I never write anymore. And now it’s the only thing keeping me sane.

6. Sleep. This is major. Probably the underlying root of all issues. Actually its hard for me to not blame a lot of things on lack of sleep. For example it would be easy to say that if I could just have slept then none of this would have happened. And honestly in part maybe that would have been true to an extent. Even if other issues were in play you could make the argument that it at least would have bought me some time to get my shit together. To realize what was happening. Lack of sleep causes me to be irritable, which may take life in the form of being judgemental, or moody, or passive aggressive, or getting way too upset about something small. But ultimately there are plenty of other things I need to take responsibility for and I am going to do that. By working on a lot of these other things, I think sleep will also improve. Because it is definitely largely linked to anxiety. I’ve already made an appointment with a psychiatrist who specialized in behavioural therapy for insomnia and I am very excited to start this new chapter of ZzzzzZZZzZZzzs.

7. Express vulnerable feelings. When I feel sad or hurt I often express it passive aggressively or through anger. This is not acceptable and it needs to change. It is something I am going to be working on daily, and I have decided to begin keeping track of each time I succeed and each time I fail. Additionally, sometimes I fail to express feelings of gratitude, love, or appreciation. Sometimes I feel silly telling someone I really care about them or appreciate them. I think it’s really important to express these feelings and not assume people always know how you feel.

8. Take care of my body. Start working out, build endurance. Live a long and healthy life.

9. I meant to go back to this earlier. Stop worrying about what other people think. I mean this in that I put a lot of pressure or myself when I know that it’s really important for someone to like me. I read into everything that they say and I worry about what I’m going to say back. I worry that I’m not funny enough or I won’t say the right thing and that really holds me back from having a good relationship.

10. Write poetry again.

It all just hit me and it hurts.

So. Badly.

11. Keep going.