#I’m getting an A+ in humaning
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I feel the need to share since my lube post is going around that my life is just like that since I worked at the sex shop. Sex Ed is a very standard topic. People just immediately pick up a vibe from me and even in situations where someone doesn’t know I used to sling dildos for a living they’ll just start confiding sex stuff to me.
Not in a creeper way. But like this weight had been lifted and they can finally talk freely about sexual topics. The energy I put off is just so blasé and accepting that people tell me about their sex lives, usually very quickly after meeting me. They usually then have a moment of panic or regret and apologize but I always reassure them that I used to work in a shop and that I see nothing odd about talking about it.
My go-to line is, “I’m a creature devoid of judgement.” They always laugh. Then the questions get more specific or people start asking for brand recommendations. It’s always been funny to me.
My beloved has always been a little confused by it. “People don’t just start talking to me about sex! I know you don’t bring it up. It just always seems to go there when people talk to you.”
“It’s just my energy.”
The first time I was meeting their mom she was coming to stay with us. We picked her up from the airport and brought her home. My beloved went upstairs to use the bathroom. When they came back down their mom was asking me questions about vibrators and their jaw hit the floor.
In our room later they said, “She doesn’t even talk to me about that stuff! She’s so embarrassed about sex topics, I cannot believe she was asking you about that!”
“What can I say,” I shrugged, “I’m a creature devoid of judgement.”
#ramblies#ffs foibles#funny#story#writing#they also note the amount of times I’m approached by strangers for random stuff#most recently was a woman looking for a hair model for beauty school#afterward my beloved was just like what is your life that people randomly come up to you#I’m getting an A+ in humaning
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Watching Star Wars in chronological order is so funny.
Obi-Wan Kenobi really took one look at R2D2 in the middle of the desert and said “No, Luke, I’ve never seen this fucking droid in my life. Looks like a real bitch though. Not that I’d know. This is my first time meeting the asshole.”
No one in that whole franchise was Gatekeep-Gasslight-Girlbossing quite like “Ben” Kenobi, regular human-man.
#star wars#obi wan kenobi#r2d2#luke skywalker#More like Regular Human Cave Hermit I suppose#and R2 didn’t even rat him out???#I’m almost positive that there was a moment off-screen where R2 and Obi-Wan were alone in the cave hovel#just absolutely glaring at each other silently while Luke was using the rest room or something#R2 probably whirled around that cave bitchily#like Danm bitch#you live like this?#so uncivilized#and Obi-Wan was like#actually I think I WILL go save Leia#but only so I can drop this useless bucket of bolts on Anakin Skywalkers fucking doorstep and dissapear into the force forever#Honestly#the real plot of A New Hope was Obi-Wan desperately trying to get rid of the world’s bitchiest R2 unit#that somehow managed to find him again after decades#R2 found where he was hiding and Obi-Wan was like:#Guess I’ll die then.
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changes and trends in horror-genre films are linked to the anxieties of the culture in its time and place. Vampires are the manifestation of grappling with sexuality; aliens, of foreign influence. Horror from the Cold War is about apathy and annihilation; classic Japanese horror is characterised by “nature’s revenge”; psychological horror plays with anxieties that absorbed its audience, like pregnancy/abortion, mental illness, femininity. Some horror presses on the bruise of being trapped in a situation with upsetting tasks to complete, especially ones that compromise you as a person - reflecting the horrors and anxieties of capitalism etc etc etc. Cosmic horror is slightly out of fashion because our culture is more comfortable with, even wistful for, “the unknown.” Monster horror now has to be aware of itself, as a contingent of people now live in the freedom and comfort of saying “I would willingly, gladly, even preferentially fuck that monster.” But I don’t know much about films or genres: that ground has been covered by cleverer people.
I don’t actually like horror or movies. What interests me at the moment is how horror of the 2020s has an element of perception and paying attention.
Multiple movies in one year discussed monsters that killed you if you perceived them. There are monsters you can’t look at; monsters that kill you instantly if you get their attention. Monsters where you have to be silent, look down, hold still: pray that they pass over you. M Zombies have changed from a hand-waved virus that covers extras in splashy gore, to insidious spores. A disaster film is called Don’t Look Up, a horror film is called Nope. Even trashy nun horror sets up strange premises of keeping your eyes fixed on something as the devil GETS you.
No idea if this is anything. (I haven’t seen any of these things because, unfortunately, I hate them.) Someone who understands better than me could say something clever here, and I hope they do.
But the thing I’m thinking about is what this will look like to the future, as the Victorian sex vampires and Cold War anxieties look to us. I think they’ll have a little sympathy, but they probably won’t. You poor little prey animals, the kids will say, you were awfully afraid of facing up to things, weren’t you?
#this is the sort of observation I make here that people#go off and write their thesis about#so while I’m not expecting to be the first or cleverest person to say this#if you do use it as a springboard#tell me if you get a good grade ok?#I’ll be tremendously proud of you#like if you take a shitpost and use it to craft deep attentive thought on something important#I just think that’s probably the most noble use of a human brain#it makes me want to take off my hat and slam it to the ground in inexpressible emotion#it’s a cowboy hat btw#and I say something like GOLDURN IT THAT KID SURE HAS DELIVERED.#ok so don’t deny me this#especially if you correct me after a long research journey#GOLDURN IT THE KID IS RIGHT!
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Throwing around a Peter the Panda design
#I have been trying to get down a design I’m happy with for ages I think I’ve finally done it#knew I wanted to give him facial hair and I found the stupid soul patch the funniest#I tried soo many hairstyles for him and none of them looked good so I made him bald out of annoyance. sorry#he keeps his hat on.#I like him. I like his blank stare#pnf#perry the platypus#peter the panda#human perry#my art
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horseification beam GO
#i’m at the point where i’m just doing whatever with these guys now sorry i just think it’s funny#kirk’s a racehorse bones is one of the horses that leads them into the track#spock is a marwari and he does dressage or something#bones was supposed to be a racehorse but he has behavioral issues#you try to get him into the starting gates and he’s biting#don’t ask how humans play into this idfk#star trek tos#leonard mccoy#leonard bones mccoy#bones mccoy#jim kirk#james t kirk#mr spock#spock
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Recent fixation go burrrr
#transformers#humanformers#you don’t have to agree with my human designs it’s just how I see the g1s in my head#decepticons#starscream#Soundwave#shockwave#wavewave if you squint#thundercracker#skywarp#bumblebee#ratchet#Optimus prime#doodles#my art#I have a seeker problemmmmm#don’t @ me I’m still new to transformers myself 😭#it’s just a nice change of pace from the torture that was mortal kombat#ohhhh man don’t even get me started
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i don’t mind suspending my disbelief for leverage’s person-sized ventilation shafts bc that’s pretty standard for the genre, but that doesn’t mean i won’t laugh a bit at some of the egregiously large vents. particularly in the crowning acheivement job (lev: red s2 finale) because - well just look at this lol! harry and parker, two adults, can kneel side by side in those vents. parker can sit upright.


that museum was made for vent crawling purposes. that’s just an extra room in the museum they forgot to decorate. the leverageverse has a thief union that successfully lobbied for a better working environment. these vents double as a playground for museum-goers’ children. i was crying with laughter thinking about this and harry’s vent crisis was NOT helping me remember that there was a serious heist thing going on lol, i love this show.
#leverage redemption#leverage#parker leverage#harry wilson#harry wilson leverage#parker#wren speaks#leverageposting#the sun roofs (or are they just lights?) really get me lmao#ALL of the person-sized vents are unrealistically large so this is not criticism! this is a generic convention!#vents are not human-sized and clean or remotely safe enough to reliably crawl through irl#but basically every building in every crime drama has comfortably person-sized vents#usually for knee crawling not even people lying on their stomach bc that’s difficult to move and looks sillier#and that thin layer of the ceiling under the vent is usually surprisingly built well enough to support a persons weight#and there’s no fans or rats or dust or bugs or that foil tube stuff i forgot the word for#and it’s often oddly well-lit. and that’s okay! it’s fiction! we’re having fun!#sewers tend to be unrealistically large + accessible + well-lit etc in fiction too.#anyway my point is i’m not saying this as criticism! just a neutral obserativion of something i found funny!
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class doodles
#i feel like every time i draw human bill he gets slightly closer to val#gravity falls#bill cipher#the book of bill#tbob#doodoo quality cuz i’m posting from my phone
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*sliiides this in on the last day of May*
Anakin works in sanitation at a marine research facility and falls in love with a captive mermaid. Obi-Wan is standoffish at first, but Anakin eventually gains his trusts and breaks him out! Obi-Wan doesn’t make it easy for him though.
⊹ ✦ my art | tip jar ✦ ⊹
#my art#obikin#mermay#mermay 2025#anakin skywaker#obi wan kenobi#star wars fanart#sw fanart#star wars prequels#Obi-Wan: *HISSSSS* go away I hate humans 😡#Anakin: you’re beautiful you’re mine and I’m getting you out of here 🥰#the story is basically Free Willy??? lol#i didn’t have time to draw the more romantic bits#next year maybe!
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I don’t entirely have the style down yet but dark choco is good practice
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(Please do not use, trace, or repost my works anywhere without explicit permission from me thank you)
#you can see in this images how I started to get more into the groove as I went on#deersart#my art#cookie run kingdom#cookie run ovenbreak#fuckin hell why is there so many CR tags#i play both crk and crob so expect fanart for both#dark choco cookie#chess choco cookie#chess choco twins#he’s their brother now he doesn’t get a choice#dark cacao cookie#i should tag the others but they all only show up once#for archival purposes might as well#mint choco cookie#crob choco squad#white choco cookie#pink choco cookie#sauna egg cookie#in human form#he’s like two of my fav guys mixed together. if you’ve followed me long enough you know who I’m talking about
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Yuri…. Save me yuri…
#death note#death note fanart#misa amane#rem death note#dn#remisa#my art#art#human rem design I made on a whim… I’m still figuring out how to draw her actual look well#I’ll honor her proper someday#I’d also like to do some more human designs for her#mainly because I think trad goth rem would rock#and possibly change the world insurmountably#I’ll get there#they’re goth gfs !!! doomed tragic yuri !!!#surprisingly underrated even though it’s served on a silver platter#I would give my life for them to be happy 💔
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.Rook.
#dragon age#dragon age veilguard#rook#rook thorne#dav#sketch#Farid Thorne#dragon age the veilguard#.ive been waiting for a dialogue to say he was conscripted but apparently that’s not happening.#.i just have to choose the -uh I’m a different man now :)- options in lieu.#.what do you mean I made another rich human man as my hero WHAT DO YOU MEAN.#.boat on the tummy boat on the tummy boat on the tummy!!!!!!!.#.ofc he’s a half elf- his mother is Jean-esmeral’s mother- which means maybe maybe I’ll redo the family tree someday.#.im sure I’ll get back to drawing him doing what he does best- and that is kissing Davrin.
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get shown affection IDIOT
#UNWELL UNWELL UNWELL IM UNWEELLLL#think about it. just how lonely Oscar was before Arthur. before Noel. before realizing he has worth as a human being#GUHGGGHH#Noel getting to be close to someone for the first time in years….#I’m sure he blames himself for anything Roland went thru before he died… now he gets to be gentle and insure someone actually makes it.#THEY MAKE ME ILL#artists on tumblr#malevolent#malevolent fanart#malevolent podcast#oscar malevolent#detective noel#noel malevolent#charlie dowd#holy ghosts#tw injury
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Them ✨ 🕷️ 🎲
#pretty sure I’ve redone my human design for angel at least 10 times while husk has been the same since day one lol.#hopefully I’ll get his design somewhere I’m happy with eventually.#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel fanart#art#huskerdust#husk#angel dust#hazbin hotel angel dust#hazbin hotel fandom#hazbin hotel husk#husk hazbin hotel#human huskerdust#husker#huskdust#angel dust x husk#human angel dust#human husk#angelhusk#angel dust hazbin hotel#hazbin art#hellaverse
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Prompt 334
So. Danny has discovered he might erm, might be technically a necromancer. At least as far as magic is concerned. Like even if it’s just via resurrecting himself the magic side of things (god, he’s more scientist- sided dangit) count it as such.
Which means that half the time someone tries to summon a necromancing-esque being, he’s the one who gets tugged if he’s even a centimeter within range. It was annoying enough in high school, it’s no less annoying in this world they’ve all moved to.
On the bright side, thanks to also being half dead himself, the summonings and other rituals can’t actually drag him somewhere. It just causes him to feel like someone was crushing a lung or two, which honestly nothing new. (Gosh were those days of vigilante work really that violent? Huh, guess they were)
What he wasn’t expecting was for a tiny child, a living child, to track him down despite him not existing legally or anything similar in this world, to revive their previous local child vigilante. Which like, hey, first of all, he has a few questions? Just a couple and yeah sure, he’ll shake on it- can he have your name first there kid…?
Tim, on the other hand, is getting a little concerned when he realizes a lot of the questions the probable-fae keeps asking are in line with the stuff CPS asks. (Unknown to him, that is exactly where Danny is getting several of his questions about this scrawny vigilante kid. Erm. He might have to take the kid, for like, his own safety- hey Frostbite he needs your help he has some questions-)
#Prompts#DCxDP#DPxDC#Tim: I’m not getting adopted#Danny already setting up another room in his Lair connected to an apartment door:#Danny to Jordan & Ellie & Jazz: You might be aunts/uncle soon a tiny vigilante child tracked me down#Danny: Tucker I need assistance in the digital sense not the reality bending sense BUT-#”Sam I need your entire list of foods & humanely dispatched meat products I might be acquiring a child soon”#Tim (later): In avoiding getting adopted by my associate Batman I may have gotten adopted by a necromancing space fae#Danny is not ghost king#It’s not said outright but it can be Eternal Trio#The three of them are vibing in this other world after graduating college#And decided where they want to go next
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I hate that fuckin post that’s like “actually it’s not useful to say westerners enjoy a level of luxury never before imagined in human history because um. Kings didn’t have to worry about the rent” and like. Well actually I don’t know if you know this but historical rulers sort of did have a rent to worry about called the national treasury and oftentimes they’d just be straight up killed if that shit was empty but also like. I dunno like you live in a world where at literally any moment you can choose to be entertained by nearly any piece of media or culture we know of, you can eat literally any kind of food you’ve ever wanted year round with no interruptions, and also for the first time in human history getting a boo-boo isn’t just a guaranteed death sentence. Like yeah you may have to pay for these things but these are still luxuries. They are still offered to you. You think fuckin Richard the Lionheart could hop in a car, drive 15 minutes, and eat some Chinese food? You live in the most luxury-filled, convenience focused society in human history you need to start being cognizant of that.
#like do you know how offended people would get if I told them something like Starbucks would be un fathomable#hey side note why did autocorrect fuck up unfathomable’s formatting like that#anyways unfathomable to literally any human in history#but it is! it is unimaginable#that level of constant continuous access to what had been a luxury good#there’s not an equivalent#even in other decadent imperial societies#they didn’t have the access#the convenience#the sheer glut of options or the access to technology that we do#I’m not trying to guilt people because whatever but like. you should be aware.
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