#I’m gonna call my therapist | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

l3rking · 1 year

Text

I played a lot of The Division 2 this past weekend and I’m actually very pleased to say I’m having a great time. I mean it’s just tacticool destiny and while I’m no where near anything resembling endgame, seeing the build variety is very exciting.

It’s also making me reckon with the fact that…maybe I actually really LIKE Ubisoft games. Not love, just like. I had a blast with Far Cry 2-5. I loved Watch Dogs 2. The first 2 and now last 3 AC games were a lot of fun.

I think getting older has drastically changed what I look for in a game. I know what to expect from Ubi. Great world building. Solid gun play. Some light rpg elements. A lot of exploration. Outsposts, Storngholds, blah, blah, etc, etc. All things I genuinely enjoy.

I can find new experiences in indie games when I want something fresh. Idk im just vibing. Getting worked up over video games is such a teen/20s thing to do. Im too old for it. I just wanna play silly games and not think about how awful things are.

#destiny #destiny 2 #the division #ubisoft #video games #aging #I literally turned 30 last week and now im having a full blown crises #also I will say im getting real tired of the constant mastabatory use of Tom Clancy and the GOOD GUY WITH A GUN motif #is this just nihilism for grown ups?#I’m gonna call my therapist

6 notes · View notes

theflagscene · 5 days

Text

Literally everyone: Diew’s grandpa is so adorable and funny, check out his guns! 💪

Me: I love him so much! - he’s gonna die.

SO: You are so fucking morbid! Why would you say that?

Me: Because it’s true, you’re a writer, come on, you see it right?

SO: …grandpa is fish food.

Me: ^_^

SO: You’re still evil, we could’ve lived in ignorance for a little longer.

#monster next door #monster next door the series #possible spoilers #???#I mean it hasn’t happened yet #but it’s gonna happen #just like their inevitable break up #it’s just a given at this point #my therapist called me a nihilist last week… I think I’m starting to see it lol

15 notes · View notes

lightblueminecraftorchid · 3 months

Text

mini rant under cut, warning for cursing.

how many more times does someone close to me have to traumatize me before it stops. how many more times. I am sick of this shit.

#blue chatter #I’m fine nothing happened today #just. got to deal with my apparently incredibly queerphobic brothers this weekend #on top of my quietly queerphobic mom #why is my dad who went to priest school the only one here being kind about this #I’m so tired #I hate having new things to tell my therapist every time I come home #and I wish I could put my foot down and be like ‘I’m not going home until this stops’#but every time I actually talk to my parents my resolve crumbles like a Cheeto under someone’s heel #I hate being scared all the time #and having to hide how hurt I feel in case I get called volatile again #because heaven forbid I feel angry #when my brother tells me to my face that he hates everyone like me and that they’re sinning against God #without a trace of irony. and them my mom is like ‘I think you can talk this out’#NO!!! I cannot!!!!!! I can barely talk this out with you bc you think this is a phase!!!!#I hate dreading to go to my parents’ house every time #my therapy is helping but half the time I feel like it makes me feel worse #anyway. angrypost done. I’m gonna paint a little.#and then go to bed.#goodnight y’all

12 notes · View notes

sob-dylan · 25 days

Text

as god as my witness the next movie/tv show i become completely obsessed will not end with my favorite character killing themselves.

#yada yada two nickels not a lot but weird especially when it happens twice in a row #it’s not my fault tho #i watched better call saul for six years and never once thought that [blank] would [blank] [blank]self #the passenger might be kind of my fault #if the book series i’m currently reading ends that way i’m gonna have to have a long hard talk with my therapist #about why this keeps happening #personal

5 notes · View notes

disasterhimbo · 29 days

Text

Therapists be like: I can tell you’re really struggling, and I may not be able to help you, so the ethical solution to this is to deny you care entirely :)

#therapy #anti psych #ranting in tags #I REALLY needed therapy this week #my life has been a total shitshow #and the entire agency blocked my number so I couldn’t call to talk with the therapist about why they’re dropping me #I’m pretty sure there’s ableism involved tbh #but like. they KNOW I went without therapy for a long period bc I struggled to find a therapist #and they KNOW I have ME/CFS and struggle to manage to get basic tasks done #I’m not gonna be able to find another therapist #I fuckin hate this #my post #original post #personal

6 notes · View notes

sandinthepipes · 11 months

Text

Does the flag REALLY means death once again? Can’t it mean something else for just once? Why is the flag denied a fairytale ending even this time?

#I’m grieving guys #I mean today my mental health wasn’t strong to begin with #this was the nail in the coffin #bye I’m gonna go drown myself in herbal tea and no comfort show because I don’t have one anymore #I’m not coping well friends #I come from 10 days of high where nothing bad was happening and all the while I was dreading the happiness #becasue well you’re all as mentally ill as I am you know the dread of feeling happy #here we are folks depression’s holidays are over she’s back at work and she takes it very seriously #also my trust issues are being triggered by a stupid fucking show #I need a break and I’d like it to last longer than 10 days every 5 years #I digressed into a monologue of self pity brb I need to call my therapist #ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd s2 #our flag means death s2

10 notes · View notes

forgotten-daydreamer · 3 months

Text

Took twice the max dose of melatonin before the final revision for tomorrow’s exam, I’m shitting my pants and I genuinely don’t know anything as thoroughly as I should but if I sleep less than 4 hrs before it I just know I’m gonna do even worse somehow

#don’t take twice the max dose of anything btw #genuinely don’t do the shit that I do #i only did it bc I know my limits and haven’t had any other substances in over 24 hrs but don’t ever try it #always talk to your gp before taking any meds and supplements at all #anyway psa aside #I want to revise for two hrs so until 1.30am circa but I genuinely hope I pass out sometime in the next hours and a half #godspeed ig #uni #melatonin #I have super high expectations but I genuinely prepared this exam in like 4 days and my brain has been all over the place #haven’t had the chance (economic too so please please consider sparing a couple of bucks for my ko-fi?) to meet my therapist in 2 weeks #been super suicidal super busy dealing with stuff and people and my family and uni and ah oh how I wish I had a brain able to focus #also the ‘visions of horror’ as I call them have lowkey turned into auditory hallucinations that never stop and it’s… tough #genuinely so tired of everything in general #I’d promised to hang with my uni friends after the exam bc I should be done my midday tops but I know im gonna be super sad and underwhelme #so I hope I can be at home by 4 pm tops with one excuse or the other #I love them all so much but I need a break. also bc I got another exam in less than a fucking week and I still haven’t started studying for #it because it’s objectively easier than tomorrow’s and because when was I supposed to study for it #I spent 3 good days working on a paper that isn’t even mine for a subject I don’t even take #a favor for a friend which turned into 3 more friends asking me if I could help them with theirs #and you know me #I never say no. unfortunately. but also I’m super glad they want my help bc they know I can write at least (one good thing)#but. that’s still -3 days available #then. the demons #wasted so many hours just pacing and biting my nails raw and being pathetic #so yeah. in a little under 15 hrs I want to be in bed again. resting until the 19th when the cycle will begin anew #also math ain’t mathing. my exam is in 12 hrs only now 13.

5 notes · View notes

sochilll · 8 months

Text

.

#called a therapist………… 😳#they didn’t answer I left a message #I am scared they’re gonna call back and be like ‘we would NEVER accept a new patient I don’t know WHY you think that would happen’#even tho the website says they do #I’m scared!!!#also I called her cause my health insurance portal said she did weekend appointments but her website says m-f soooo #SCARY

5 notes · View notes

e77y · 4 months

Text

I SCHEDULED A PSYCHIATRIST APPOINTMENT 🧘‍♀️🌈✨🌱💫🌊

#JOY TO THE WORLD #I am still very scared. and I had to talk to a call center guy which sucked #but yayyyyy #it’s so soon too! like a week from now #hope it goes well #I wrote that I just wanted to talk about ADHD meds buuuut that’s only bc my therapist from high school thought I had ADHD #and she was the one who recommended this place. and my mom is also very convinced that we BOTH have it #which like. idk if that’s true 😭 I honestly do NOT think I have ADHD #I really just want to talk about OCD bc I think an actual diagnosis would make me feel less insane. also maybe meds. might help lol #or whatever else they can diangose me with idc just tell me what the problem is PLEASE 🙏#anyway. I’m gonna go get fried rice from the mall food court and then go fill out all this paperwork #ellyposting

4 notes · View notes

rosicheeks · 6 months

Text

😓🤬

#I fucking hate doctors and the medical field so much #I was FINALLY starting to get on the right path #called a php place and think I know where I’m going #have a therapist I’ve been talking to here and there #I’ve been trying to get into a psych evaluation right?#called 5+ places the other day and they all had 5-8 month long waitlists #I need to get most of this shit done before June #so that ain’t gonna work #called the psych place my doctor referred me to #(would like to add that I did call this same place right after my doctor visit a few months ago and they never called me back)#so I had no hope they were even going to pick up #I was shocked when I heard someone picked up and even more shocked when they said they had an opening for fucking Wednesday #literally I felt like everything was finally aligning #I scheduled the appt for a zoom meeting at 10am #then I get a bunch of random emails saying my appointment was changed #now I have two different appointments- Wednesday and Thursday both at 9am and with a totally different doctor #so I was like???? ok guessing something happened but I didn’t think much of it - called to figure out what day it actually is #when I called to confirm they told me that I can’t be tested until I get an internal referral #I told them I did get a referral???#they looked at it and it was just a referral for depression not adhd or anything else #but then when they looked more into it they found in the notes she wanted me to get adhd testing #SO she just forgot to add it to my referral #I get people make mistakes #but this is like the 4th time something like this has happened lately #I’m just trying to be healthy #and it is fucking RIDICULOUS how incredibly hard it is to find the proper help #also the girl yesterday when I made the appointment said yes to all my questions but sounds like she doesn’t know what she’s talking about #was like ‘does this test for adhd and autism?’ ‘yeah for sure’ and then I find out they don’t even test for autism #so now I have to find a totally different person to either do both or just test for autism #either way I feel incredibly disheartened and overwhelmed and sad

4 notes · View notes

secretagentsagainstwhatever · 8 months

Text

you’ll never feel more contempt for someone than your own sibling when they’re ill and they pass it on to you

#i don’t even know if this makes sense #i’m so sick #someone call a doctor #never being nice to my sister again #she’s literally given me the plague #siblings #sisters #pray for me #it’s so cold #i’m meant to have therapy tomorrow #may end up just throwing up on my therapist #is this relatable #sickness #i have no more tags #i’m gonna go die now #bye

3 notes · View notes

binders-and-beanies · 9 months

Text

On new year’s my fuckin. Partner met my ex gf who I hadn’t seen since our breakup almost 4 years ago and we both met her fiance for the first time? Not as weird as it seems in context lol there are a million highlights I could describe but I think the funniest moment was when I was left alone w her fiance and he immediately asked me “tits or ass,” I said “ass” without hesitation, he went “lol I was curious bc with [my ex] it could go either way” and I was like “well if you look at the proportions of my current partner,”

#that and we were (lightheartedly) discussing the situation that lead to our breakup n she said ‘u were right all along n I’m sorry’#*calls my old therapist* you’re not gonna fucking believe this amy #no but it all went rly well everyone got along great n it was cool for my partner to have context for my most serious prior relationship #mine #txt #personal

3 notes · View notes

yuribalisms · 1 year

Text

So I answer this phone call, and the lady is like “I’m getting the documentation to approve this” and I’m like oh thank GOD but then she says “I have to order you specific ear plugs that the company approves of :)” and I’m like “wait ear plugs as in to cancel all noise” and she’s like “yes :)” and I’m like “no this was about ear buds or headphones, things being completely silent is just as bad if not worse for my sensory issues” and she gets real quiet and is like “I’m a going to have to talk to your doctor about this then for some more clarification” and I’m like HFDJSIDKJDKDJDK that is what the letter SAIDD it specified ear buds so I can play things that I know help regulate my sensory issues and it also said in the letter to contact my therapist if anyone had more questions why are we even having this conversation are you fucking stupid it’s already been a MONTH since I turned all this in and now I have to wait even fucking longer because no one can read and wants to be as difficult as possible

#also the entire call she kept saying shit like ‘it’s very normal for ppl with your conditions to have sensory issues it’s nothing #to be ashamed of 🥺’#like girl…. I never said I was ashamed why are you saying that…..#also hate hate hate that she specified they had to be ‘specially ordered and company approved ear plugs sent directly to the warehouse’#if they end up clearing this but do the same thing with ear buds I’m gonna lose my shit #just let me use MINE that connect to MY PHONE that I already HAVE that I like the adjustments on I’m BEGGING 😭😭😭#also she kept specifying that I could use a ‘calming app’ or ‘calming noise’ maybe once I said ear buds #if they try and tell me I can only use ‘company approve software’ for this I’m going to LOSE my shit #like no if you try and make me listen to the fucking ocean or like smooth instrumental shit for eight hours I will snap and go insane #I regulate with screamo and metal and edm THATS what helps with my sensory issues #overly ‘calm’ things tend to make them WORSE #I’m just so tired….. like idk could we maybe just trust that disabled ppl know what they need for themselves more than randos who had like #two conversations with them and then decided this was ‘better’#I’m so fucking tired #she also exclusively referred to me with my deadname the entire call #despite all my emails AND THE FUCKING LETTER FROM MY THERAPIST using my chosen name #like girl…. 😭😭😭😭😭#I hate it here I hate this company I hate it so much its unreal #kaz rambles

5 notes · View notes

graevs666 · 2 years

Text

god i don’t wanna be here i don’t wanna exist

#i hate myself so much #I’m sick of myself and sick of this world #i got upset at Lexi bc they said they didn’t wanna hang lol like i just shutdown n went quiet even tho they drove to take me to the shops #bc I’m ill #like I’m tired of always getting hurt I’m so damn sensitive all the time #like idk i guess i just thought they were gonna stay at mine for a while like we usually do #n instead they just wanted to go home #which is obv fine like they can do whatever they want but im sick of getting upset over this stuff #n i always feel horrible and guilty when i get triggered whether it’s shutting down or passive aggressiveness #or having a meltdown over stuff idk i just feel so emotionally childish n even when i know it’s wrong to feel tht way it still happens #i just wish i knew how to be better and stop being like this #n my therapists just keep telling me well it’s okay and normal to feel this way because I’ve been thru bad experiences before n thts why #i feel abandoned and unloved #but it’s like I’m 24 i shouldn’t be so emotionally all over the place and get triggered all the time like i can’t function bc of this #n i end up just acting in ways i don’t like like if someone was acting this way w me id be exhausted I’m not surprised I’ve been called #exhausting and too sensitive and negative and immature bc i am n hell if u don’t like me dw i hate myself more ive literally been trying #to get better and it’s going nowhere i think i just gotta end myself fr #journal

5 notes · View notes

firewoodfigs · 1 year

Text

i am so bad at dealing with stress but it is my only motivator honestly

#wow i literally hate exams remind me to never sign up for this bs again #i say this as my friend is like so dyou wanna do the NY bar together next year #HDJFJDJDKDJD I’m just gonna retire on a farm goodbye #anyway yea im literally so bad at dealing w stress lol back to my regular programming of stomach problems and insomnia #but WHY AM I ONLY PRODUCTIVE WHEN IM STRESSED. WHY #(bestie who works as a therapist: it’s called adhd babes)

4 notes · View notes

coffeesforcatchers · 1 year

Text

GOLDENNNNNNNNN?????????????????

#fall out boy #tourdust spoilers #I’m frantically refreshing setlist fm bc if they play coffees for closers I’m gonna have to call my therapist

2 notes · View notes