#I’m gonna get a job in summer because I am not working on TOP of school

[imreaallyasorry]

Late night doodle….

[erenjaegerwifee]

Summers In Pandora 🌸 Day 5 - Jealousy 

Paring: Neteyam x Fem!Omatikaya!Reader

Summary: Neteyam wants your attention but you’re too busy giving it to someone else

Warnings: MDNI 18+, established relationship, jealous neteyam, rough sex, explicit language, orals (f receiving), p in v, neteyam getting mad he keeps getting interrupted,

Word Count: 2.5k

Index: kelku - house, sevin - pretty

Disclaimer: All my characters are aged-up! If this makes you uncomfortable feel free to scroll and don’t read!

Main M.list | Event M.list

“Baby come on, just the tip” Neteyam’s hands roamed your body as your stood in front of the mirror of your kelku fixing your top while you get ready for your daily clan duties. Neteyam should always be getting ready but he seems to rather rut against your ass begging to fuck because he woke up with a ranging boner.  

“Nete, we have to leave I’m gonna be late for class.” you loved your job in the clan, it mainly consisted of teaching young healers but you like to help out wherever you can. You and Neteyam have been in a relationship for the pass 3 years, you both just turned 19 so you thought it was bit immature to mate so soon. Even thought you were not opposed to the idea; both your parents told you to wait until you turned 21.  

It has been about a year now you and Neteyam moved in together and it has been wonderful, you never realized before how horny he is until you started living together, not that you’re complaining. He is so active during the day and still he tries to fuck you every chance he gets. “Baby please I won’t take long” his hands squeezed the skin on your waist as he kissed your neck trying to convince you to get naked with him.  

You almost gave in before you head a knock on the wood next to your kelku doorway flap. “y/n are you ready? We're gonna be late” you heard Neteyam hiss at the voice on the other side of the tent. One of your newer students has taken it upon himself to follow you around like a tail. Which often meant he walked you to the healer's hut and back every day.    

Neteyam hated every part of it, why is this boy walking you around like you don’t have a man to do it for you. He doesn’t like it one bit. Neteyam was so tired of him showing up at your shared kelku as if he doesn't know Neteyam also lives there. He let go of you and threw on his towel on hastily around his hips matching towards the entrance flap, neteyam swings it open coming face to face with the man himself. “Why do you keep coming here? Can’t you give her space and wait until she gets to the fucking healers hut then see her? I am very much capable of walking my woman to and from her working station boy.”  

“When she tells me to leave her alone then I will until then you can’t tell me what to do” he sounded like a spoiled child. 

“Boy don’t make me pull rank on you, that is my wife-” 

“Girlfriend, that's your girlfriend. I still have a shot” 

Neteyam was about to knock him on his ass when you ran out of the kelku towards him, “Neteyam no, don’t hurt him he’s harmless” 

“Harmless? You call this harmless? He's basically a stalker.” Neteyam tries to walk around you but you place your hands on his chest, “No no stop baby come on, I have to go I’ll come by and see you a little later, ok? Go get ready for training” every pause in your sentence you kissed his both cheeks so he would calm down. With a sigh you know he was going to let you go.  

Neteyam wrapped his arm around you and kissed you deeply on the lips, he tilted his head sticking his tongue in your mouth as if her was stacking claim in front of the other man, you melt into him so easily, you always loved it when he kissed you, when he did anything to you.  

You pull away from and breath and gave him one last peck before saying goodbye for the day, you send him a sweet smile as you walked away with the boy trailing behind you like a puppy. Neteyam watch you walk your perfect figure away from him, sighing before walking back into the hut to get ready for the day. 

“Seriously you need to stop doing that, I’m not gonna be there to save you one day and Neteyam will knock you on your ass with his little finger.” you express to the boy. His ears pinned back as he nodding to your words, he never intended to make up upset, but seeing you with another man just makes him angry. 

“I’m sorry...” he said in a small voice, “It’s fine but you need to watch your behavior around him, it’s bad enough as it is” you told him as you walk into the healer's hut to start your lesson. After it was over you make your way to the training grounds to see Neteyam. 

When you get there, you watch him spar with another warrior and you say hi to his father and his brother, “Hey Mr. Sully, Lo’ak how’s it going?” they turn towards you and greet your back, “y/n how many times have I told you that you can call me Jake, or dad. You're my daughter in law.” 

“Oh, not yet dad, he has competition now�� Lo’ak raised his eyebrows at you making jake raise a questioning eyebrow you. You turn back to look at your future mate sparring with the other warrior, “What did you hear?” you asked Lo’ak. “I hear that Neteyam is deeply frustrated about the puppy dog that follows you around.” his comment made you laugh.  

“Lo’ak please, I don’t want anyone but Neteyam he has no competition.” you turn your head to admire you boyfriend’s godly figure. “Why don’t you just tell him to leave you alone?” Jake asked, “Well dad, I don’t want to hurt his feelings, or make it weird he is one of mt students, I’d hate to have to teach someone who resents me” you sigh and Jake nodded. 

“I mean, I can see where he’s annoyed even now, I hate it when my wife has to associate herself with other men” Jake told you. “Oh, so he got the jealousy from you?” you laugh then Neteyam walked up to you three, “hi baby” he wrapped an arm around your waist to pull you close and kiss you. “Hello bro, we aren’t also standing right here”  

“Shut up Lo’ak, so baby lesson’s over? Wanna go home and have lunch?” he asked you. “Sure, let’s go” you held his hand as he led the way to your shared kelku. He walked in behind you closing the flap and pulling you close to by your waist and kissing you, “Neteyam hm, I thought we were having lunch” you said in between kisses. Neteyam picked you up and you wrapped your legs around his slim waist, “yea baby I’m gonna eat”  

He laid you down on the hammock that sat in your common area, he didn’t want to wait to make it to your bed. Neteyam got down on the floor between your legs and pushed your loincloth up taking in the view of your pussy. You had a blush on your face looking down at him between your legs and without warning he just buried his head into your pussy flicking your clit with his tongue. 

Neteyam slid his tongue up your folds while he ran his hands up your body under your top toying with your nipples. The sensation drives you mad and you throw your head back with a moan of his name, “fuck nete-” he sucked on your clit in the way he knows you like it, “yea sevin, you taste so good” Neteyam laps up all your juices, flicking on your clit you were so close to coming when your kelku flap burst open. 

“Y/n? Are you here? Tsahik said she needs yo-” your puppy dog says as he walks in seeing Neteyam’s head dipped between your thighs. You scramble to pull the throw blanket over your legs and Neteyam’s head hiding him from view. Neteyam slide out from under the blanket menacingly, he turned his head to the boy standing at his kelku entrance. “I’m giving you one second, run away or I will hurt you.”  

Neteyam’s lips glistened with your juices even while he spoke to the boy and sent him running away from your kelku. When neteyam turned back to you, you had the blanket up to your nose and you were crouched up under it looking at Neteyam. He was pissed he had enough if this situation, for weeks you have been saying that puppy dog was harmless but it seems you were wrong. Neteyam had no idea he was so comfortable barging into your kelku. How often does he do that? 

“Baby, was that the first time he came in like that?” you hesitated before shaking your head ‘no’. “He did it before, while you were training, but I promised nothing happened.” Neteyam straighten his back and gritted his teeth, “It doesn’t matter if nothing happened when did he get so fucking comfortable to burst in here like that? And only when I’m not around, I bet he thought I wasn’t here when he did it.” you shrug your shoulders not knowing if talking would make the situation better or worse. Truthfully you didn’t know what brought on his behavior, but you didn’t want Neteyam to get upset so you never told him. “And you didn’t think to tell him to stop coming into your private space?”  

You heard it in his voice, he was pissed about this, he had every reason to be as well, “why didn’t you tell me?”  

“I didn’t want you to get upset”  

“Fuck Y/n did he ever see you in any kind of intimate positions when he bargained in?” his voice was strained but you decided not to lie. “Uhm well, not really, the first time I was making lunch for when you would come home to eat and I wearing that robe you made for me, the silky one. After that he kept coming back every couple days, he never ventured in he stayed by the doorway.”  

Neteyam rubbed his hand over his face, you liked that robe, ever since he made it for you, you loved to wearing it, but you usually did so without any clothes underneath, and Neteyam loved coming home to his naked girlfriend only covered in the thin piece of silk. He thought your nipples looked so cute against the cool fabric, the way they printed out sent him mad. 

It wasn’t your fault, you didn’t know you were accidently flashing the boy, it was his fault so not respecting your space but he’ll teach him a lesson right after he does you. For keep secrets. Neteyam ripped the blanket off your body and stood up tossing it to the side, he took a step back and ordered you, “stand you, strip”  

He watched you get up and strip off your clothes for him. Your hands moved to cross over your chest but he stopped your quickly placing his hands on your wrist and pulling them apart, “no don’t hide these from me.” Neteyam walked up to you and places his hands on your tits playing with them and he brought his mouth to yours kissing you. 

You whimper into his mouth as he kneads the flesh of your tits, he tugs at your nipples making them hard and sensitive. You thought he might take you to the bedroom but instead he picked you up and sat on the hammock seating you in his lap. Neteyam didn’t break the kiss though, his hands move down your body touching everything he can.  

He always was such a passionate lover; always make you feel loved when he touched you. “Neteyam-”  

“Shh baby, I’m tired of being interrupted, I want some time with you, need to show everyone who you really belong too” his lips moved down to your neck sucking on your skin, he leaves deep purple marks and pulls away to admire his work every time before moving on and making another one. He kissed you down sucking on tits flicking his tongue on your nipple.  

You squirm in his lap and thread your hands through his braids keeping him close to you, Neteyam takes one of your hands out of his hair and brings it down to his cock, you didn’t even realize when he took off his loincloth. You gripped his thick cock squeezing it before bringing your other hand down to stroke it with both hands. Neteyam whimpers feeling your soft palm on his cock. 

He moved away from your nipples and back up to kiss your lips twirling his tongue around yours. He pulled away from the kiss but his lips still touched yours as he said, “spit on it”  

You tilt your head down spitting on his cock rubbing your slit over his length. Neteyam lifted your hips up and over his cock lining you up before he slowly lowered you down on his length. Your jaw was slack as you looked down at him but he wasn’t looking at you, he was looking down at his cock disappearing inside your cunt. “Always so tight baby” 

His eyes dart back up to your face when you bottom out and moan, he gives you a minute to adjust before he is lifting your hips up and down on him. Neteyam loved watching you on top, it’s probably one of his favorite positions. He loved watching your tits bounce in his face. Neteyam quicken his pace bouncing you faster on him listening to the way your moans got louder and the way you stuttered out those pretty ahs for him.  

“Listen baby, you listening?” he said as he sets a pace for you. “You. Will. Not. See. Him. Again. Do I make myself clear?” Neteyam said every word each time bouncing you in his cock. You clenched down on him at his words, you always did love it when he got possessive for you. 

“Oh-okk, ok” you chanted. “Let me hear you say it you’re not gonna what?” 

“Not. Gonna. See. Him” you stutter out on his cock. Neteyam smiled at your submissive nature knowing you’d never get like this for anyone but him, “good fucking girl.” Just then he saw a figure outside his doorway flap, someone was peeking through. He recognized the boy immediately and decided to have a little fun with it.  

“Oh Eywa fuck, fuck yea” you moan getting close to your orgasm making Neteyam smile watching you lose yourself on him.  

“Tell me baby, who owns you?” he smiles up at you even though you weren’t really in your right mind. “Yours-you Neteyam!” you screamed his name while cuming hard on his cock gushing your juices on his thighs. “One more time baby say it again who owns you?” he said, his voice was strained he was getting close too. “You Nete- you!” you mewl in overstimulation as he cums deep in you. Your jaw went slack once more as he held you down on him to take him seed, he drops his head on your shoulder kissing your neck as his dick pumps cum inside you. You felt him twitch when he bites down on your neck softly feeling the way you clenched down on him.  

With his tongue on your neck, he looks over your shoulder and saw the boy was gone. He really hopes he got his point across this time as he plays with the end of your tail that’s wrapped around his forearm.

🌸 I hope you all enjoyed reading! I have tons of fun with this one! If you didn’t know before I’m a Neteyam girl at heart!

🌸Reblogs, comments and likes are always appreciated!

Taglist:

@rivatar @delusionalwh6re @strongheartneteyam @nilahsstuff @inlovewithpandora @neteyamsoare @m1tsu-ki @kylimarz @teymars @xylianasblog @beensbaee

[asterias-record-shop]

tempting little devil — (j.m.)

The summer before you get your dream job, you concluded you wanted to learn how to ride a horse. You had trouble finding the right person to teach you – until you accidentally ran into a horse trainer and ranch owner at the store while getting treats for your students before you left your job. It turned out that riding a horse wasn’t the only thing he could teach you.

You had big plans for your last day of school celebration with your students, especially because it would be your last year at the elementary school. Goodie bags had already been stocked to the brim with small toys and candies, and you gave them each a book wrapped in soft blue wrapping paper that made you think of them.

As you looked through the candy aisle, you sighed when you saw the last party pack of candy on the top shelf of the aisle. It was stupid for them to put the candy somewhere completely out of reach of any average sized person, so as you looked down at your heels that barely gave you about two inches, you started to balance yourself on one of the bottom shelves before a hand reached over you.

This wasn’t happening.

As the hand grabbed the bag of mixed candy that would surely give your students the perfect sugar high in your last class with them, you balanced yourself on the ground before turning around, about to snap at the person before the person outstretched the bag of candy toward you.

“Saw you havin’ trouble, doll,” he hummed, tilting his head. “Didn’t want you to fall down with those heels on.”

You paused, staring up at the man that seemed significantly older than you, wellbuilt and with slightly unkempt graying hair and beard, with scars on his right temple and on his neck as well. He was handsome, extremely so, with a dark maroon button down and some jeans with some work boots being covered by the cuffs.

“You alright doll?” He tilted his head, and his words finally snapped you out of the slight trance you were in.

“Sorry!” You quickly apologized, taking the bag of mixed candy. “Sorry, I just…” you laughed, shaking your head. How were you supposed to explain that you thought he was so attractive that you couldn’t stop looking at him? “I thought you were going to take it…”

He laughed loudly, shaking his head as he rose a brow. “You thought I was gonna take your candy bag? Trust me, doll, I don’t want the candy,” he rubbed the back of his neck, looking over your cart. “Wow… throwin’ a party?”

You laughed sheepishly, nodding as you put down the bag of candy in your cart. “Yeah, I am… tomorrow is the last day of school and I have a big party planned for my students because I’m not going to continue teaching.”

The man hummed softly. “Oh? Why not?”

You shrugged. “Needed a change of scenery… and I got an offer to work at my dream job, so it really does work out… besides, I have the rest summer off now, so I can do something I’ve really been wanting to do!”

You weren’t sure what exactly came over you to tell him so much, but he didn’t seem bothered by it as he smiled slightly, nodding. “And what’s that doll?”

You giggled sheepishly — it wasn’t some big thing that would change the world or something. “I want to learn how to ride a horse.”

It was odd when you saw him smile slightly, nodding his head. “Well you’re in luck then, doll.”

A look of confusion formed on your face as you tilted your head slightly. “How so?”

“I used to be a horse trainer,” he said, pushing his hand into his back pocket and pulling out a folded leather wallet, opening it and slowly taking out a card. “Now I own a ranch about half an hour out of town. And I rode a bit in some rodeos.”

You laughed slightly, nodding. “I definitely did get lucky.” As you looked down at the call, you smiled when you saw his name. “Joel?”

“Mhm, that’s it doll,” his voice was slightly gravelly as your stomach began to twist at his words, and he offered his hand. “Joel Miller.”

“I-I’m Y/N,” you took his hand, swallowing as he shook firmly. “Nice to meet you.”

“You too, doll.” His lips stretched out into a smile, chuckling as he squeezed your hand slightly. “Need help reachin’ anythin’ else?”

A smile formed on your face as you swallowed slightly, nodding your head. “I’m probably gonna need help with the rest of the goodies.”

“Lead the way, darlin’,” he hummed, smiling as he put his hands in his thick Ariat jacket.

You turned, putting your hands on the cart and slowly pushing as he followed you. “Thank you for your help, I really appreciate it.”

He laughed slightly, shaking his head. “Trust me, darlin’, I don’t want you to fall tryin’ to climb up shelves and hurtin’ your pretty self.”

When summer came, you were at Joel’s ranch probably more than you’d like to admit. He invited you out to the ranch for dinner and horse lessons more times than you could count, and you basically fell in love with his dog Molly.

You learned that his daughter Sarah had left for a summer camp a week before you met him. She was a competitor in some sort of horse riding circuit that Joel introduced her to, and the summer camp was getting her ready for one of the competitions that she planned on competing in.

When you got to the ranch for what felt like the hundredth time ever, you slowly got out as Molly ran towards you. A giggle escaped your mouth as you lean down to cup her snout, wiping at your cheeks as she started to lick your cheek. You laughed as you stood up, humming as you made your way toward the arena where Joel was giving his horse Chestnut a lap around.

You were dressed in some flared jeans and a button down shirt that Joel had given you because you showed up in a tank top to help with the heat. When he saw you, his lips formed a slight smile as he walked toward you with Chestnut.

“Hey darlin’.”

“Hey,” you giggled as you walked toward him, tilting your head. Joel let the lead slowly slip out of his hand as he opened his arms for you to hug him, letting you press yourself into his large chest and tuck your face into his neck while you wrapped your arms around him. His chest was so warm and he smelled like pine, hay, and a slight tinge of sweat. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too, doll,” he smiled back, humming softly as he pulled away and softly stroked your cheek. “How has your day been?”

“Good,” you leaned into his rough and warm hand, shrugging slightly.

“Nothin’ special?”

You paused, thinking with a slight purse of your lips. “Well… I got to see you,” your giggle makes him smile as you lean your cheek on his chest and continue to look up at him. “That’s special.”

“You’re makin’ me blush, darlin…” he mumbled as he softly tilted your head up with two of his fingers under your chin. “Seein’ you is the best part of my day, doll.”

You only hummed softly, tilting your head into his hand as you let your fingers rub against the soft fabric of his button down. “Is it?”

“Always,” he mumbled as he reached his hand up to hold your wrist, pulling your fingers to his lips and softly kissing your knuckles. “Why do you think I keep inviting you back?”

“Mmm, I don’t know…” You whisper, biting your lip. “Keep telling me why.”

“‘You’re such a lil’ devil,” he growled out as he leaned down just enough to graze his lips to yours. “A fine… tempting little devil.”

You giggled as you leaned up enough to softly kiss his lips with a soft hum, finally taking what you had been wanting as you pushed your hand into his hair and pulled him lower. Joel let out a loud groan as his hands held your hips and pulled you closer, pulling your body flush against his as you softly tugged on his hair.

His lips are rougher than you thought they would be, not that they were very chapped but more so how rough he was kissing you. Joel held your hips with rough hands in a strong grip, pulling your hips into his own as you lifted yourself up onto your tiptoes.

“J-Joel…” you whimpered softly, swallowing as you tilted your head back. “Please…”

“Oh darlin’, you ain’t gotta beg me for nothin’,” he murmured as he gave a firm tap to your ass, making you gasp as he kissed you again. “I gotta put Chestnut back in his stall. Go inside…” his hands firmly held your ass as he let his teeth graze your lips. “You know where my room is… you get in there and you get ready for me and I’ll make sure a pretty darlin’ like you feels the best you ever will.”

You nodded as you inhaled deeply, swallowing as you rubbed his chest. “Yes.”

“Good girl,” he praised you with a soft kiss to your lips, moaning softly. “Such a good fuckin’ girl…”

You slowly pulled away, turning around to walk back in before his hand pulled you back to kiss your lips again. He was already addicted as you cupped his face, moaning into his mouth as he leaned forward enough to make you lean back and his grip get stronger to support you. He tasted like mint and apples, the first from brushing his teeth and the second from stealing a piece from what he fed to the horses.

“God fuck, darlin’, you’re just irresistable,” he murmured against your lips, letting his fingers thread through your hair as he trailed his fingers down the side of your neck to trace the collar of your- his button down. “You know how irresistible you are?”

“I’m findin’ out,” you mumble back, shaking your head slightly as you tilted your head slightly for him to push his fingers down between the buttons of the shirt you wore. “Go. I’ll be inside.”

“I may have to take a shower,” he whispers, shaking his head. “Think I stink.”

“Maybe a little bit,” you mumbled back in response, but then you shrugged slightly. “I can… take a shower with you… if you want.”

“As much as that tempts me,” he let his hands leave your body with a soft groan, shaking his head. “I wanna fuck you properly… I wanna watch your hands tug against my grip and hold the bed sheets so damn tight that your knuckles cramp up… I wanna hear the bed bangin’ against the damn wall as you make fuckin’ perfect noises under me.”

Just his words made your stomach twist and turn, squeezing your thighs together as you tried to control how fucking horny he was making you. You nodded as he firmly squeezed your ass, biting his lip as he nodded to you. “Go.”

His words were an order as you turned around, your fingers still on your lips that were tingling slightly from how rough he was kissing you, and you couldn’t stop thinking about it as you walked up the porch that wrapped all around the house that you fell in love with. You had gotten Joel to put furniture and such around where the two of you had spent nights staring out at the sunset with Molly sitting between the both of you.

As you walked inside, you tried to move around Molly to get upstairs to his room, groaning softly as you went up the stairs.

“Oh Molly… don’t do that, come on Molly, go downstairs! Go! Go Molly, go!” You tried to encourage the large, almost toasted marshmallow looking dog.

She just stares at you, her muzzle wide and smiling at you as she barks up at you.

“Molly! Baby! Go!”

She whines softly as you rub between her ears making her smile again, barking before running off down the stairs. You walked into Joel’s room, smiling at the horse pictures and illustrations around the room. It was obvious that Joel didn’t do this himself, and when you saw the picture of him and his daughter, you couldn’t help but smile as you grabbed the picture and softly stroked the glass.

He looked so happy.

You slowly put the picture done before you kicked off your boots and laid back against the bed. You let your hands slowly unbutton your shirt as you arched your back and slowly lifted your chest to take off Joel’s shirt before unclasping your bra behind your back. It was possible to take it off, but you don’t, staring up at the ceiling as you let your fingers trail over your stomach.

The thought of them being Joel’s fingers make your stomach twist as you rut your hips into the air with a slight whine. You were so desperate, moaning as you let your fingers slowly unbutton your pants and lifting up your hips to slowly slide them down your thighs. At the feeling of the cold air hitting the wet spot on your panties, you gasped, groaning as you tilted your head back and let your fingers push down between your thighs and rub your cunt through the fabric that covered your heat.

You were so caught up in that feeling, distracted from the fact that the door slowly opened, Joel merely covered by a towel wrapped around his waist. He came in front of the bed, slotting himself between your parted legs as he dropped down to his knees, carefully trying not to kneel on your clothes. He pushed himself between your legs, a gasp escaping your lips as you felt his hands slowly wrap around your thighs and pull them over his shoulders.

“J-Joel-!” You gasped as your hands moved to the back of his head, inhaling shakily as his nose drags up your slit, groaning softly.

“Goodness… you’re so fuckin’ irresistible, you know that?” He groaned in between your thighs, letting his fingers hook through the soft violet fabric, slipping it to the side. “Goodness… how did I not do this earlier?”

“Joel wait-”

Your words go completely ignored as he opens his mouth widely, letting his wet tongue slather saliva all over your dripping cunt. The feeling makes you squeal, hips rutting up into the air as his large hands pull your body lower to keep your body close to his mouth. “You taste so fuckin’ good…”

You don’t even fight back, groaning as you threw your head back and tried to prevent your thighs from tightening too much around his head as they quivered. One of his hands moved his fingers from your thighs, letting them drag up and down your slit lazily as he let his spit lather all over your clit. He lets his tongue point and flick against your clit, his fingers rubbing against your entrance as he let his mouth open widely and groan into your sex.

The feeling made your eyes roll back as you pulled him further into you, groaning as your back arched and you attempted to keep him as close as you could to your cunt. When his fingers pushed into you it felt like you lost your mind, finally looking down at him to see his eyes closed as he let his tongue trail all along your entire sex.

“Fuck, you taste so good, darlin’,” he groaned, letting his fingers languidly push in and out as he let his tongue flick against your clit again. The feeling of his tongue against your clit made you whine as you fixed his face in between your thighs, his nose brushing against your skin as he began to suck at the sensitive bud.

You started to squirm, desperately trying to keep his mouth on you as you groaned loudly. When his fingers got faster, you began to whine, moaning loudly as you let your hips roll onto his digits, whimpering as they got rougher.

Your stomach began to twist and turn into knots, incoherent noises coming from your mouth as his tongue dragged from your clit to where his fingers were, his other hand coming down to rub your clit with his thumb. The feeling was so close, so so close as you continued to rock your hips, moaning.

As his digits began to scissor and flex inside of you, your eyes rolled back, unable to control the convulsing of your stomach as you moaned loudly and felt your high inch closer. His tongue flicked against your entrance, rolling his fingers inside of you as your hips began to rut unconsciously into his fingers, a soft sob escaping your lips.

When the knot in your stomach finally snapped, you sobbed even louder as you bucked your hips repeatedly, groaning as you tugged on his hair. Joel groaned into your cunt, his tongue flattening to lick the entirety of your cum off of your pretty pussy.

Your hips continued to buck as you moaned, panting as you softly stroked his hair, watching as he slowly rose up and let his towel fall to the ground. You weren’t sure if the soft curls of chest hair stuck to his body was from sweat or the shower, moaning as he pulled your legs around his waist and hiked them onto his hips.

“Got damn, pretty girl,” he mumbled softly as he kissed your lips, his mouth soft against yours and his hand stroking your cheek as the other guided his blunt cock tip against your entrance. You whined, his tip much thicker than his fingers were, moaning as you bucked your hips forward, gasping as he pushed into you. This was not something that you would’ve expected to happen today, being dicked down by a man who had been teaching you how to ride horses for the past two months.

But for fucks sake, you really did want to show him how well you had learned to ride.

“Darlin’,” you felt his fingers softly flick at your cheek, gasping as you quickly looked up at him. “Where’s your head at?”

“J-Just…” you gasped as he began to roll his hips, kissing your cheek softly as he puckered his lips to your skin. “Th-Thinkin’... about putting my riding skills to use.”

Your words made him pause as he laughed slightly, groaning as he pulled your pelvis into his, twisting making you scream out. To steady yourself, you immediately placed your hands on his chest, groaning loudly as he let you sink down onto his cock.

“Do it then,” he urged you, biting his lip as his large, rough hands spread over the expanse of your thighs, holding them like he was holding the reins of a horse. “Show me your ridin’ skills.”

Your eyes rolled back as he slowly helped you roll your hips, a loud groan falling from his lips as he bent his knees to help raise you just a little bit. The added height made you gasp loudly, your fingers spreading across his chest as you slowly lifted yourself up by raising your hips on your knees, throwing your head back.

“There you go my pretty cowgirl, ride my cock,” he groaned out, languidly thrusting his hips upward to assist you as though you were riding the back of a bucking mustang. “Fuckin’ hell, cowgirl…”

He groaned out, words drawled as your toes curled, his thick cock hitting all of those perfect spots inside of you. Your spongy walls clamped down on him so tightly that he could barely pull you off of his cock, resulting in pathetic rolls of your hips to get his hard cock to press deeper into you.

“C’mon, you can do better than that, cowgirl,” he groaned out, throwing his head back as he fixed himself underneath you, finally bucking his hips fully into you. “I taught you better than that.”

You yelled out as his thrusts picked up speed and strength, knocking you forward as you yelled out into his neck. “J-Joel-!”

“Hush,” he groaned into your neck, his hand traveling from your thigh to your ass to pull your hips lower into his. “Just let me use your perfect fuckin’ pussy…”

You choked as you held his shoulders tightly, groaning mindlessly as he continued to buck up into you, panting as he groaned into your ear. “J-Joel, wait-!”

You weren’t sure what you were begging him to wait for. This was something that you wanted for so long, to feel his thick cock inside of you and his hands on your body, his mouth sucking what felt like hundreds of hickeys along your neck as he kept you down against him. His hands held your ass, hips thrusting into you as you eagerly chased after your high with pathetic bounces in his lap.

“God fuck, darlin’, you feel so fuckin’ good,” he moaned out, throwing his head back as his hands tighten on the fat of your ass. “Tryin’ not to fill your perfect pussy up with cum and keepin’ my cock in you so you feel so fuckin’ full…”

Your mind blurred at his words, his proposal so infinitely tempting that you felt your hips speed up, rocking into his at an unforgiving pace, so quick that it made your stomach twist and your mouth open to let out all the incoherent noises to show how much pleasure he was causing you.

Moans of his name and screams of pleasure came from your mouth, soon enough getting to the point where your eyes rolled back into your head and incoherent groans of pleasure continuously fell from your mouth with what seemed like no end.

You felt used in the best way possible, the inability to even move or rut your hips but Joel taking over in every way possible – ruting up into you, guiding your hips with a strong hand on your hip, his mouth sucking hickeys against any inch of skin he can get to, and his other hand groping and massaging your tit was making your mind blur.

You felt your stomach start to twist, whining as his thrusts got more inconsistent, never missing that spot inside of you that made your toes curl.

“Fuckin’ hell, darlin’, I’m going to cum.”

You could only nod desperately, shaky hands holding his shoulders and digging your nails into his skin.

“Beg for it,” he could barely get out his words, clenching his teeth together as he held back cumming there and then from the feeling of your nails digging into his skin. “Beg for me to cum inside of you.”

You whined, shaking your head. How could you say what he wanted you to say when you could barely speak?

“Say it,” he slapped your ass, a yelp falling from your lips as you finally came back to earth. “Speak.”

“I-I want it!” You sobbed, the desperateness of your orgasm finally processing. “I want to cum, I want you to cum inside of me-!”

That was all that he needed to let himself thrust into you sporadically, never controlling himself as he groaned into your neck, finally letting himself cum. You sobbed as you felt his cum spurt inside of you, moaning loudly as you threw your head back and giving him the perfect opportunity to tuck his head into your throat and kiss at your neck.

You groaned loudly as you came from the thrusts that got him through his high, his cum spurting into you being the final push to make you cum.

Your mind was blurry and spinning, sighing softly as you leaned your head on his shoulder. “I love you.”

He kissed your hair, humming as he kissed down your temple and to your lips. “I love you too, darlin’. And I guess I just figured out that you need no help ridin’ me.”

I do not ever give consent to my work being published on other platforms or being translated at any point, even if it is a request. If my work is on any other platform, it’s without my permission. Your media consumption is not my responsibility.

© asterias-record-shop

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - The Summer Games BLgin.

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top. Those Greeks did have that reputation for naked dudes rolling around together so I'm declaring it...

BL OLYMPICS!

I'll be passing out metals in various sporting events, as part of the weekly updates through mid August, just for funzies.

July 2024 Week 4

Ongoing Series - Thai

The Rebound (Weds Gaga) eps 9-10 of 12 - I guess mass murder is nothing next to having to raise funds for your basketball club. There were a lot of water sports in these eps (no not that kind). I’m not complaining. The street BB playoffs were fun. Frank is GOOD. I didn’t know he played. They aren’t using doubles for this. Meanwhile, it’s a bummer this one can’t be a poly romance. 

Winner!

Gold in Handball

for that shower scene in ep 9 (also... ya know, DUNK TANKS)

Balls in hands of all types.

Briefly must chat about that intro/outro music. It's like Thai autotuned Stray Kids. Which means I kinda adore it.

Century of Love (Weds Gaga) eps 5-6 of 10 - I guess he’s had a long time to learn how to fight really really well. This is a fun show. It does occasionally feel like a bunch of gay boys playing dress up. I LIKE P’Third a lot. I hope he doesn’t turn out to be an actual baddie. I’m finding the music a little intrusive in these episodes. I love the deconstructed suits look, and the velvet blazer. Very 90s. The confessions scene was very cute. It’s a good thing Vee is so easy-going, because the last few months of his life have been truly insane. And now he’s queen of the castle? Still working his convenience store job?

I honestly thought we'd just get kisses halfway through not a full on sex scene. But it was very sweet and tender. Appreciated, boys, thanks. However it’s never a good sign when the sex scene is it at the halfway point, it just means there’s gonna be a lot of trauma to come.

(I gotta say every time Daou smiles he actually looks his age.) 

This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans (Fri iQIYI) ep 4 of 8 - I like them now. I mean as a pair of characters. I wasn’t really sold on the main couple until this episode, and now I’m interested (yes I am shallow). The boy with the glasses is definitely sus. I’m quite drunk, thus I have to say Sailub is the hottest thing on my screen right now. Metas's taste in interior design sucks. OK, that physical therapy session was sexy. I wasn’t sold at first, but now I love this side couple too.

Argh. SailubPon kiss so well. Also COUNTER LIFT!!!! 

Silver in Weightlifting

Sunset X Vibes (Sat iQIYI) ep 7 of 12 - I’m the one who always says this stuff, but this pair might be the best at relationship heat. Let me try to explain. They are good at putting on screen the kind of NRE, want to bone, just really into each other physically and also connected and loving. It’s the way their bodies always arch towards each other. They’re very comfortable in each other’s space in a way that’s really rare to see out of Any BL country but Taiwan. I think they might be my favorite couple currently active. I don’t know how to put it except that

it looks like they want each other,

it looks like they like each other,

it looks like they’re into each other,

and it looks like they GET each other.

It’s nice to see on screen. The plots/stories/narratives that they're given aren’t doing them any favors, but man they’re a good pair. Meanwhile, was I screaming the whole time don’t rip the sample of the custom piece? Yes I was. But it was still sexy.

Sam getting discovered was fun! Yo is gonna burn his arse good.

My Love Mix-Up Th (Fri YT) ep 8 of 12 - Okay! Officially boyfriends. I almost like the friendship btw Atom and Mudmee better than the romances. But they all so cute. 

The Trainee (Sun YouTube) ep 4 of 12 - I hate the gf intern so much. I think she is past redemption now - time for death. What is it they say about ADs? they do all the work, for none of the credit but all of the blame.

Knock Knock Boys (Thurs Gaga) ep 10 of 12 - I guess Peak’s dad really is that awful. Jane is the beard? Got it. The show got suddenly quite sweet and complex. Where did that come from? Meanwhile ,Almond + Latte + sex education is awesome. Great trope we rarely get in BL. 

Love Sea (Sun iQIYI) ep 7 of 10 - Look, what’s really annoying me is that I am neither upset nor pleased with the show. I like to be driven one way or the other by Meme. Trash watch here. (delayed this week, I can't face it)

I Saw You in My Dream (Weds Gaga) ep 1-2 of 12 - Out the gate I don’t like it. I don’t really like the teasing thing and the acting is poor. That said, neck kisses in the very first episode do make me happy. So I’m gonna keep watching. As for ep 2, I like the sides, and we have gay brothers trope activated. I also like the paranormal element, it adds some much-needed tension, but it is still a little slow (typical of a pulp).

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

I Hear the Sunspot AKA Hidamari ga Kikoeru (Japan Weds Gaga) ep 6 of 10 - I like our poor lost puppy slowly figuring out what’s going on. It’s so elegantly done. Also, the the boy begs his quiet seme to SAY something, you know he’s gonna DO something instead. 

I could have done wihtout the pan around the head kiss. We over that, 8 years ago.

Takara's Treasure AKA Takara No Vidro (Japan Mon Gaga) ep 4 of 10 - Why don’t I like this show? I had to think about it quite a bit. It’s the power differential. I never enjoy it when the character with less power is the one doing the pursuing, it comes off as too desperate or something. In this case he is: from the country, poor, and younger, It just makes Takara’s dismissive attitude and snobbery unpleasant to watch. Also, you know me, =/= obsessive stalker behavior. 

It's airing but...

Bad Guy (Korea YT) - yeah, erm, no thank you.

4 Minutes (Thai Netflix/Grey) ep... - Great, a rich boy studying business at uni, suddenly gains the supernatural power to see four minutes into the future. I try to catch up next week.

I have a source, but I simply didn’t have time to watch it. So sorry. Too much traveling too much BL to keep up with. A perfect conflation of conflicting priorities.

Meet You at the Blossom (China) - it's your funeral (or, more likely, one of the main characters'). You can argue but... statistics. You know my feelings on this matter. MY BLOG, remember?

64.media.tumblr.com

In case you missed it

The Time of Fever AKA Unintentional Love Story 2 (Korea movie) trailer IS COMING IN SEPTEMBER!!!!

Next Week Looks Like This:

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

Coming Up Next!

7/29 Battle of the Writers (Thai ????) - trailer here, TutorYim return, and while I adore them, I really hope this is better than Middleman's Love. Won't be hard. However: the premise? Ugh. Something something authors fighting - save me. Why don't writers understand that nothing is more boring than writers?

8/4 Sugar Dog Life (Japan Sun ????) 10 eps - OMG a uni student who looks too young and a... COP. GAH. The subversion and kink of it all. Please Gaga pick this one up? They made it for US.

8/7 Cosmetic Playlover (Japan Weds ????) 8 eps - office romance around the makeup counter featuring a younger seme and sex by blackmail. I am intrigued. DFTUJ (don't fuck this up, Japan).

8/8 Monster Next Door (Thai Thurs WeTV ) 12 eps - I am so DAMN excited to see Big finally lead a BL. I can't even with this, one of my most anticipated of this year. He's a great kisser ya'll, he's kissed a lot of boys as second lead. I can't WAIT.

8/12 First Note Of Love (Taiwan Mon Gaga) 12 eps - About a singer with stage fright and his timid fan stars Charles (H4 the puppy one) and Michael Chang (the youngster in My Tooth Your Love), plus side couple featuring a Thai actor Jame (Koh in Gen Y) and Liu Min Ting (of Guardian fame). What a damn tean. I can't wait. With thier powers combined!

8/16 The Last Time (Thai Fri YT) ? eps - Convoluted story of loss and possible reincarnation or something.

8/22 The Paradise of Thorns (Thai movie) theater release - Jeff Satur is back but this does not look like a BL (the gay lover's death is the inciting event). More in Goodbye Mother vein. Looks dark and dramatic. He opposite and extremely well known actor Toey Pongsakorn who has never done gay before.

Addicted Heroin (Thailand adaptation) is also supposed to release this month. GIVE IT TOO MEEEEEE. I don't care about anything else but August back on my screen. It's been almost a decade since he did BL.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

This week's adventures in caption "out of" and "off" are not the same thing. This is an uncomfortable thought.

I'm so tired I'm seeing double. This is all you get.

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a pain.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

Sigh, Tumblr in it's infinite wisdom doesn't like too many tags.

Sports in Play (the jokes write themselves) )

Boxing

Breaking

(That's Not) Cricket

Diving (yes, for that)

Fencing (yes, with those)

Handball (exactly what it says, no, read the word.. again)

Rhythmic Gymnastics (obvs)

Squash (snicker)

Surfing

Swimming

Trampoline

Weightlifting

Wrestling

[starswguru]

❝ message in a bottle ; 마크이

𖥻 pairing: college!mark lee x female reader

𖥻 contains: college!au, fluff, slight angst, second chance romance

𖥻 warnings: swearing, marijuana & alcohol consumption / english is not my first language and this is my first work ever on tumblr so i am sorry if there are any grammar mistakes or misspellings

word count — 4.06k

synopsis — you and mark were in a situationship for a few months before things ended poorly when you got too scared of your feelings and he had to leave the country for an exchange program in london. now, six months later, you were at a party with your friends and discovered mark was back in town.

🎀

AND just like that, your whole world stopped spinning for a long and torturous minute. in the blink of an eye, you went from being over-the-moon excited — and slightly intoxicated — with the idea of partying with your friends during the first summer night before heading to your hometown in the next couple of days to being paralyzed, feeling all your blood get drained far away from where it should be in your body. in the blink of an eye, you went from being a happy girl with the arrival of the last member of your friend group to someone terrified with the sight of a ghost from the past. a quick glance, unintended by all means, in mark’s direction was all it took for the memories from that previous year to come flooding back to hit you like a lost train.

“hey, princess,” he said. his cheeks burning in a shade of shameful red, but something stronger than him was preventing his stare from going anywhere else other than your eyes. there was a blunt hanging between his teeth. “how you doing?”

“that’s it, guys; i’m done with this. i’m just gonna change my major or something like that! everything’s going terribly wrong, and i can’t keep torturing myself by studying this shit.”

you dropped your head and rested your forehead on your arm that lay on top of the desk in front of you right as the confession slipped from your lips like a dangerous poison that you should not have taken. it was the first time you’d ever said it out loud to someone else to hear — other than the mischievous voice inside your head — how you truly felt about the english major you were pursuing. the fear of judgment and of being too hasty about this decision was corroding every last bit of your emotional health, and because of it, you could sense that a storm was coming. what if you did change majors and ended up not adapting? how would you find a job, or better yet: how would you support living all by yourself if you couldn’t even pick an undergraduate academic path? time was running out, and the unbearable clock inside your mind wouldn’t give you a break. the tick-tacking of the goddamn thing was going to drive you to insanity at any point soon.

“hey, chill for once, okay? it’s normal to feel like that and to want something new. hell, i know i had to change my major twice before finding out what i actually wanted to do. jae did the same thing. you’re not alone.” jeno offered you a small yet reassuring smile or someone who didn’t quite know what to say but still wanted to see his friend more relaxed.

“exactly! take a deep breath and think things through with an easy heart. if you need help, we’re here to help you." swallowing the last bite of the sandwich he had bought earlier, renjun tapped the notebook in front of him. “how’s that linguistics project going?”

as you raised your head, you shook your head in a negative sign. “i mean, it’s good. too good, actually… and that’s sort of the problem. like, the dude i’m working with is super sweet and really fucking good at this class and so he’s kind of doing the whole thing by himself and dragging me along with it ever since we started. i feel terrible, even if he says it’s all good and stuff, but it is what it is, i guess.”

before either of the guys could express any opinion about what was just said, a guy with freshly cut black hair — it was even possible to see the drawing of a spiderweb on the left side of his undercut —, earphones in and a large yankees shirt approached the desk, more specifically you, and offered a genuine smile that wasn’t common to see between two colleagues who were only working on a school project together at you. the unknown man squatted so he could be at your height and unlocked his ipad’s screen to the word document the two of you were using to write notes together, or at least that was the initial idea because the reality was that mark was doing all of it alone, proudly.

“oh, hi, y/n, you good? just wanted to ask you a quick question… have you taken a look at this topic right here? i know we’re only supposed to work on it in two weeks but i was wondering if maybe you’ve come up with the same conclusion as me.”

feeling a thousand times more embarrassed than if a professor asked you to present a thirty-minute seminar alone in front of the whole class, you felt the tip of your fingers getting cold and a thin droplet of sweat rolling down your temple. “uhm, hey, mark. yeah, about that… look, i didn’t really have a chance to look at that yet, i’m sorry. i can barely manage this week’s assignments, let alone two weeks from now. i- i’ll text you when i read it, okay?”

you didn’t know it at the time — or if you did, you had an enviable ability of discretion — but every single time mark heard his name escape from your heavenly drawn lips, his heart would skip a beat or two and he felt like he was about to combust at any second. it was the first time in his whole life that he had ever felt that way about someone and dealing with feelings of that magnitude was both weird and extraordinary, which meant that the ravenette wasn’t completely aware of how to process them. mark’s solution for his overwhelming thoughts whenever you were around was to take charge of everything he could in that project, to make you feel relaxed about that one particular class. the canadian was terrible at linguistics, for his skills were much more reliable during literature classes: he could interpret and internalize poetry from the eighteenth century like it was nothing, and plays written in latin during the roman empire were of natural understanding for him; and yet, ever since the first day of that semester in which it was requested that both of you joined efforts to build the complicated assignment, it was impossible for mark to not pull all-nighters reading texts and more texts, watching one video class after another that broke down the subject of that class just so he could give his absolute best when the time came to work alongside you and you didn’t find him an idiot, as most people in that university usually did after meeting him for the first time.

mark just wanted to impress you and the last thing he could be worried about was doing all that alone, as long as it meant that he could still have the minimum interaction with you.

“yeah, sure, that’s cool. if you need anything let me know, alright?”

you were still in a state of complete shock. no words would come out of your mouth, making it impossible to answer properly the question directed at you by the boy that a year before was the reason for many sleepless nights and therapy sessions, through no fault of his, which was even worse, because mark was perfect and you hated yourself for how everything ended.

a cold breeze, too cold for a summer night, hit the both of you with enough strength to make you shiver and it was only then that you realized that none of your friends were around anymore. you were alone again with mark for what had felt like a lifetime since he left the country for an exchange program in london and with enough unspoken words to make the whole situation a million times more uncomfortable than it needed to be. what were you supposed to say right now? “oh, hi, mark, long time no see! listen, i’m really sorry for being horrible to you last year, i’ve spent the last six months torturing myself because i only woke up to the fact that i had let the perfect guy for me get away too late to try and fix everything”? you ran your fingers through your hair, knowing that there were no words of your knowledge that could make it easier, that could put together again the pieces of what had once been something magical that the two of them were building.

you couldn’t care less about all those times your therapist tried to be kinder to your heart than you had ever been, or how your friends always tried to distract your mind from the constant haunt of self-collection and, to be honest, didn’t really mind that yes, after all the effort and studying, you had managed to change your major to something you actually enjoyed if the price for it was to drop the perfect crystal piece that was mark’s precious heart. there were no words that could take that back, and going against every piece of advice that was given to you, you had imagined more times than you’d like to admit how this encounter would play out: what you would do, what you would say or not say, how it’d feel… but none of those scenarios inside your mind was anywhere near to the real sensation of being in front of him again.

mark looked taller — or maybe it was just the feeling of missing him crushing your soul and clouding your judgment —, the slim body now gave way to the body of a man who went to the gym and tried to truly take care of his health, his hair that previously used to be as dark as the t-shirts he used to enjoy wearing was now covered in a shade of red so bright that it reminded you of his favorite superhero’s suit. even still, the one thing that caught your attention the most were his eyes. before mark left, before the whole chaos, they were always big and full of life, like those of a curious cub and you could always feel a cozy warmth travel across your body when mark looked at you with such brightness; however, it seemed that ever since the canadian got back in town, they were opaque, closed off to the outer world as if his eyes were now carrying some kind of intense melancholy behind them. the familiar redness in his sclerae, months ago, used to always be accompanied by an excited and smiling version of mark lee, but that night the only thing apparent to you was that lee was holding on to weed like some kind of way to numb the break-up pain.

the redhead had lived a thousand different lives during his exchange: saw and learned things that he knew he would never have achieved if he hadn't accepted the opportunity to go to england and yet, his mind couldn’t recall any of those experiences with the genuine happiness he should’ve felt like any other normal and grateful person would if they were on his shoes; to mark, ever since you left him all alone, he had turned into nothing but an empty shell of what should’ve been the real mark lee. what were his experiences, his learnings, his funny stories if, at any moment, he was allowed to at least call the person he loved and share all of that with her?

“yeah, i guess i’m okay.” you answered, holding back a cry that was stuck in your throat before looking away. “you?”

a shiver went down the english student as he waited for his project partner to arrive at the coffee shop you two had agreed to meet at to finish for good the agonizing linguistics document. it didn’t even seem real that you were finally concluding the most stressful and endless project of your university career until that moment and despite the sweet taste of reaching the finish line, mark had on his lips a bitter one, because he knew that the very instant you pressed “send” on the body of that e-mail to your professor, all of his excuses to talk to you would come to an end. it was only the beginning of november, you should spend at least a few more weeks studying together if said professor were to follow a normal academic calendar like the rest of his fellow colleagues of the department.

mark would only have one last chance of making this work out and that chance was right there and then. anxiety and fear were destroying the boy with more strength than he himself was biting through his nails waiting for you to arrive.

“gosh, mark, i’m so sorry!” you said in a panting tone when you finally managed to get to the coffee shop and met the guy that, by that point, had already become your friend. “the bus took forever to get to the stop i needed and then the subway was also chaotic… anyways, i’m sorry that i’m late.”

the both of you stayed a long time in that coffee shop, not only finishing the assignment but also laughing together and watching a few episodes of modern family on his computer as a way to relax after all the constant flow of negative emotions the both of you were facing during that semester due to not only that particular class but also all the other ones with their enormous reading load. by the time you had indeed finished what you were supposed to do, you were feeling so comfortable in mark’s presence that you didn’t even notice when you heart started to race faster and faster before the mundane things the lee did: the way he smiled from ear to ear, or how kind he was to everyone around him. you were starting to fall in love with how mark explained all the different concepts he used to build his arguments across the paper like someone would explain the most basic things to a child, and you thought it was sweet the way he would say “dude” and “no way” every couple of sentences that fell from his lips. but, above all, unconsciously, the way mark seemed to glow every time he looked at you was ethereal to your eyes.

as soon as you sent the hated file, it started to rain on the outside of the coffee shop, but contrary to the ideal scenario, you couldn’t stay in there just waiting until the climate conditions became more favorable because the two of you had places to be at, on opposite directions. there would be no other alternative but to run to the nearest subway station, or in the brunette’s case, the bus stop.

mark immediately took off his hoodie to shield you as best as he could from the rain, in exchange for you protecting his backpack that contained his computer as if your life depended on it, the moment you two stepped outside the establishment and something of a thunderstorm was taking over the avenue. mark couldn’t help it and ended up laughing at the situation you two had found yourselves in, thinking about how he wished he was a little less broke and had a car to take the girl of his dreams back to her place without having to worry about the rain, or how he wished he was stronger to pick you up and carry you to the subway station and, with that, spare your shoes from coming in contact with the soaked surface of the sidewalk. before you could notice, you were right in front of the stairs that led to the station.

“bye, i think.” you said, giggling along with him while you tried to fix your hair that, despite mark’s hoodie’s protection, still got wet from the rain.

the lee was going to answer you like a decent and proper person, he really was, but in that very moment, a raindrop fell from the marquee above you and somehow managed to hit you right on the forehead, which made you close your eyes, but mark kept his wide open. with an automatic reaction of his body, almost like an involuntary movement that he was incapable of controlling — such as the beats of his accelerated heart — his left hand traveled to your neck while his right thumb was busy drying the solitary raindrop slowly, to give his mind time to analyze every little inch of your face so close to his. mark tried to respond with words to your farewell, but his impulse to kiss you was far stronger than any cohesive phrase that his brain could formulate in that moment.

the literature student, now in his final semester, nodded as he bit his lower lip and those opaque eyes fell to the floor beneath his feet after stepping on the remaining of his blunt. mark didn’t even know why he started that conversation in the first place, it was obvious that it was impossible for him to stand close to you without it affecting some part of him — whether for good or for bad — and even still, there he was, not managing to say a single word to you, nor being able to get closer, just feeding that giant gray and terrifying cloud that grew over both of your heads due to the impasse of what this was and what it should have been.

unlike his mind, that was only able to repeat tirelessly the day he finally built the confidence to kiss you, yours was in a hurricane of terrible memories that involved the brief, yet intense, relationship you two shared — or whatever the hell one could call it. how was it even possible that something that lasted only four months could leave such deep scars?

if mark was trying to hold back a smile remembering how it felt to have your lips on top of his, you were only torturing yourself with the replayed image of mark being crushed in front of you, by no fault other than your own. it was your fault that fear was allowed to consume every single good thing that the lee had ever given you; it was your fault that you’d thought that whole thing was a sick and sadistic joke from the universe and that, in reality, there was no way someone like him could've ever fallen in love with you. in the deepest, darkest, cruelest part of your soul, you were convinced that everything was your fault and not your mind trying to destroy you before something so pure and happy.

you were a sinking ship, navigating towards a port with not a single sight of a lighthouse’s spark to help you, not knowing how to reach the treasure that awaited your arrival because other people had already destroyed the lighthouse. the ability to grope around, trying to find yourself in the darkness you’d placed yourself, was stripped away from you the second you gave in to the bruises that were caused by third parties, and mark knew it wasn't your fault, although it was still difficult to try and be the guide to someone that wouldn't allow them to have access to the heat and light from the fire he tried to offer.

without even realizing it, the silenced cry stuck in your throat for months on end started to escape, not giving you any power to control it. you felt anger, sadness, frustration and you were missing mark… all at the very same time, in an endless swirl triggered by the mere vision of having mark back into your reality.

just like the first time you kissed, the unconscious answer of mark lee’s body to the sound of you crying after such a long time being away from you was to wrap his arms around your body without allowing himself to give too much thought to the action that just took place. if it was even possible, noticing you needing him in any way, shape or form was a true calling for him and it didn't matter how much time could've gone by, the lee couldn't ignore it. to love you and protect you was just as natural as breathing.

between the supplications for your tears to stop and hair strokes, mark then began to feel something that he thought was dead coming back to life inside the hollow box that was his chest. for months now, the redhead just knew that his heart was no longer there. instead, it must've been put inside a bottle and thrown away into the ocean that separated his emotions from his rational mind, as if he wasn't even the owner of his own feelings.

“please, princess, don't cry. i’m begging you.”

the cruelty of your mind wouldn't give you a break for not even a single second ever since the last time you've heart mark’s melodious voice so close to your ear, and the fact that it carried the same heavy tone of request didn't help with your genuine desire to stop your sobbings as your face was pressed against his chest. in that moment, the last thing on your mind were the looks that other people could be directing at the two of you; you could only see the desperation all over the face of the only man you've ever truly loved. he was in such pain that day — the day you told him you didn't want to see him anymore. soon, though, that image was replaced with the memory of the gut-wrenching feeling of chronic emptiness that filled your chest the following week and you came to your senses that you had make a mistake, but that it was also too late: mark was in another country, it was far too late to ask for forgiveness.

“i know you probably hate me right now. i shouldn't have done that, i shouldn't have said that, i was such an idiot, stupid… i'm sorry, mark, i don't know what was going on in my mind to treat like that, i-”

that sobbing wouldn't allow you to form coherent sentences properly and the way you were crying so helplessly was becoming melancholic instead of just sad to the man holding you. if only mark could get into your merciless head just how he would never be able to hate you, not in a million years, not when there was so much love, desire and adoration intrinsic to the image he had of you, then maybe that big gray cloud would disappear forever and the two of you could just live like he hoped for. all mark wanted was to have the privilege of loving you again.

“y/n, look at me” mark held the red and tear wet face of his beloved girl with kindness while his tone of voice was filled with all the firmness the moment could ask for. “for christ’s sake, y/n, i love you. i could never hate you. dude, really, for once just keep your head out of this and focus on what i’m telling you right now. i love you and this whole time i was thinking of you. only you.”

even if he knew you wouldn't answer anything for a few seconds, or maybe even minutes, mark just allowed a sweet smile to appear on his lips while he delighted himself with the feeling of being allowed to hold your face once again, to stroke your cheeks and to place small, delicate kisses all over your beautiful face — which he knew would force your breathing to slow down, giving you the chance to calm down again. the canadian was smelling like the combination of weed and beer, but somehow, your body knew how to identify the familiar and characteristic smell of his cologne; the same smell your searched for and ached for during the coldest nights, when missing him was too overwhelming it almost felt like a hole was being digged up in your chest. that familiarity was the reason for the shy smile that took over your lips, that opened a breach for light and happiness after all those tears while mark traced your lips with his thumb, admiring you like you were some kind of artwork created just for him.

“i was made to stay just like this with you, princess. and i’m not leaving this time.”

[sunlightmurdock]

Operation Apollo | 0.4 | Jake Seresin x Reader AU

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter | Masterlist

Synopsis: After a threat is made against her life, the President’s grown up daughter gets her security tripled. Her long term detail is about to retire and needs replacing, only — she isn’t the easiest to work with. Ex-Navy and current Secret Service, Jake Seresin is devoted to being the best at everything he does. He isn’t going to let a bratty little girl cost him this job.

Warnings: age gap, power imbalance, enemies to lovers, danger and angst + eventual smut , suggestive content and language but no sex, minors dni

…

“No way,” You comment, sitting forwards in your seat slightly to squint at the agent sitting in front of you. “You’re afraid of flying.”

Jake pries his hands off of his armrests and unclenches them. He blinks at you dully. It’s five in the morning and your flight just took off. It’s a private jet on route to D.C.

You’re sitting right in front of him, Allen and Manny are sitting more towards the back. Jake had been hoping you would sit with them so that he could pass out, but then you had waltzed over and stuck yourself down right in front of him.

“I am not afraid of flying,” He tells you calmly, a hint of defensiveness to his tone as he talks. “But it’s hard to relax when you know you’re a better pilot than they guy doing the job.”

You tilt your head.

“So you were a pilot in the Navy,” You realise, “Was starting to wonder when you would tell me what you used to do.”

Jake nods his head and shifts in his seat. He glances around, checking towards the cockpit uncomfortably. You observe each of his movements. Jake has a fear of flying. He’s a pilot with a fear of flying.

“Did you go to Top Gun?” You ask him.

Jake fiddles with his hands, nodding his head softly, “Twice.”

“Twice?” You question.

“Can we talk about something else?” Jake breathes.

You raise an eyebrow at him. Jake knows he has just given you more information than is good for him. He leans his head back against the seat and sighs, then checks his watch. You’re still ascending. Four more hours of this shit.

“Anything I can do to take your mind off of your fear of flying?” You offer, lips quirking suggestively as you tilt your head at him. Jake’s growing tired of you teasing him. You push your foot out and nudge your ankle against his. Jake narrows his eyes seriously at you.

“I don’t have a fear of flying.” He bites back.

“So you’re sweating like that because you love flying so much?” You answer back immediately.

Jake doesn’t move. He can feel beads of sweat forming on his brow, and he knows that you can see them, but he refuses to give you the satisfaction of seeing him wipe them away. A muscle in his jaw ticks.

“I’m happy to take your mind off of it,” You tell him sweetly. Jake glances down, watching as you rub your ankle against his. He looks back up to your face, completely serious. “I’ve got a couple of ideas of how I’d do it, too.”

Jake shakes his head and turns to look out of the window. Four more hours.

You sit back in the seat, trailing your foot just slightly up his calf.

“Stop.” Jake demands.

You cross your legs and rest your fist against your chin, squinting at him across the small distance between you.

“Why are you so grumpy all the time?” You frown. “Were you ever fun?”

“No.” Jake answers dully.

You roll your eyes at him and pull your bag closer to you. Jake glances across as you pull a book from it. He raises an eyebrow at you.

“You read about the French Revolution on your summer break for fun?” Jake scoffs. “Now who’s dull.”

You lift your gaze and look at him over the top of the book, “It’s a commentary on modern foreign policy in relation to the French Revolution, and it isn’t for fun. It’s for my postgrad.”

Jake hums. There’s a few moments of quiet between the two of you.

“Foreign policy,” He comments finally. “Politics.”

“Aren’t you clever.” You bite, sarcasm dripping from your tone.

“Gonna be president someday?” Jake asks you, raising an eyebrow. He watches the immediate distaste in your reaction. You shrug your shoulders and keep your attention on the book.

The two of you spend the next four hours very carefully ignoring each other. Taking care not to make eye contact or strike up conversation.

Jake hasn’t been through this before. His last client was a little less high profile. Landing and getting you to the White House is a carefully orchestrated event. Allen takes the lead — he has done this a million times — Jake and Manny follow his lead.

It’s remarkable how well behaved you are.

The entire time. From landing, getting in the car, arriving, going to your room. Then, you’re called downstairs for the conference. You step out into the hallway, in your pretty dress, picked out for you by your father’s assistant.

Jake, Manny and Allen are waiting for you. Jake’s adjusting his cuff links. You look him up and down while he’s distracted. He looks good in a suit. You look down to smooth out your dress. You look good when you aren’t running your mouth.

“Ready, angel?” Allen smiles as he nudges you with his elbow. Jake almost rolls his eyes. Angel isn’t exactly the word he would pick to describe you.

“Yes, Sir.” You grin and lean into his side. Allen squeezes your shoulder softly and the two of you walk off ahead.

Jake wonders how long it took for the two of you to become this close. If you ever bothered Allen like you bother him. He walks silently at Manny’s side and observes the way that you trust Allen. Implicitly. He clearly trusts you just as much.

Jake knows better.

It’s a big day. Your father is extremely busy. In fact, Jake doesn’t see him once. The conference is full of people. It’s easy to tell who is important by looking around and seeing who has someone in a black suit watching their every move.

You surprise him. He doesn’t know what he was expecting, but it wasn’t the graceful young woman, smiling and shaking hands, striking up intelligent confirmation with individuals who would have intimidated Jake beyond reproach when he was your age.

Jake has never responded well to intimidation. He always responds with anger or bravado. You don’t seem to falter in the slightest. The conference lasts a couple of hours — it’s lots of schmoozing and snobbery, but you’re charming and witty throughout.

Jake is impressed by this side of you. A couple of years ago, he knows he would’ve been enamoured by you. If the two of you had met in a bar, he would’ve pursued you for however long it took. But that was then, and this is now.

He knows better.

Your schedule is packed. Immediately after the conference, you’re called to the head of security’s office. Allen is welcomed warmly with grins and hugs — he’s a familiar face around here. Jake and Manny are greeted with friendly faces, but not the same warmth. They’re new, it’s expected.

You take a seat opposite the desk, Allen sits at your side. Jake leans against the wall with his arms folded over his chest. Manny stands by the door with his hands neatly in front of him.

“We’re moving her threat level down to green.”

There are two exceptionally different reactions to that information. Your eyebrows raise, lips parting slightly, you sit up a little straighter - feeling like there is a physical weight off of your shoulders.

Jake is significantly less pleased with the information. So much so that he doesn’t take time to look at either Manny or Allen’s reactions. He doesn’t care what they think, this is wrong and he knows it.

“So you found the original threat?” Jake checks. All eyes are on him the moment he asks. He has his answer before anyone speaks.

“The threat is far less great than we originally thought.” The head of security answers Jake calmly, with a coldness to his tone that lets Jake know he’s in trouble for even asking.

Jake shuts his mouth. Far less great than they originally thought. He glances across at you, the soft smile on your face. He knows that you aren’t supposed to know. He knows that you’re going to think this is a free pass to be as reckless as you’d like. He knows it isn’t safe.

You are all dismissed together. The moment you’re out in the hallway, Jake storms off ahead. You begin after him, hurrying to catch up.

Manny starts to follow, Allen touches his forearm and shakes his head, “Leave them. I’m going to start pulling my hair out if I have to listen to them keep bickering.”

It would be easier if he just told you why he’s here. Maybe then you would comply, make his job a little easier. He’s under direct orders to make sure that you don’t find out.

As you reach your room, Jake turns to keep walking. He could do with some air.

“Jake.”

He turns to look at you, serious and stone-faced. You stop walking quickly, deciding that the distance between the two of you currently is probably a good thing. You lift your hands up in defence, trying to keep this lighthearted without setting him off.

“Hey,” You say gently. Growing up in rural Texas, Jake doesn’t appreciate the way that you’re beginning towards him like he’s a startled horse. “Look, I know you’re pissed off about this, but can we just talk about what this means?”

He has to admit that he’s surprised to hear the words leave your mouth. He wasn’t expecting such a diplomatic approach from you.

“I think this will be a lot less painful for us both if we set some ground rules.”

A muscle in his jaw ticks. He’s still half-considering starting an argument.

“Come in. We can talk.” You rest your hand on the door handle, then gesture for him to follow you. Jake hasn’t forgotten how much of a tease you’ve been for the past week. He glances up, looking directly into the security camera on the ceiling, and then back at you.

It seems like a bad idea to follow you into your room, but Jake does it anyway.

He watches you move to sit in the centre of your bed. It’s probably the girliest room he has ever been in. Everything is white and peach. You can see the judgement on his face as he looks around.

“I didn’t pick it.” You explain quickly.

He takes a seat in the white arm chair in the corner of the room, parting his knees and sitting back.

“It looks like a six year old picked it.” Jake answers you dryly.

“If you keep being mean to me then I’ll drag you to every club in D.C. this weekend.” You answer back, tucking your knees up to your chest and staring over at him sternly. You’re serious about this. Jake is a real grouch and you aren’t looking forwards to him making your life harder than it needs to be for the next year.

Jake shuts his mouth, letting out a soft sigh. He folds his arms over his chest.

“Okay. My first rule is that I can have my friends over again and you can’t say anything about it.” You announce.

Jake knows that starting a fight this early into the conversation wouldn’t be smart. He presses his lips together and nods his head.

“Fine. But they sign in at the front gate. That’s my rule.”

You give a slow nod of your head.

“Okay. I want to start going out again. Normal security rules, me doing what I want, you guys behind - no interference unless necessary,” Jake opens his mouth to start arguing. You raise a finger to stop him. “I’ll give you plenty of advance notice. You can call ahead, do whatever you want to make yourself feel better about it. But I’m twenty-two - I refuse to live like a recluse.”

Jake closes his mouth, biting the inside of his cheek.

“Fine. But if I tell you that somewhere isn’t safe: that’s it. My word goes.” He answers you.

You narrow your eyes at him. That seems like a rule that’s too easy to abuse.

“We should have a safe word.” You decide.

Jake’s brows furrow slightly, “Excuse me?”

“Not a safe word. More of a code word. Like code red, absolute emergency that voids every other rule because I’m in danger. Deal?” You explain.

That doesn’t sound like the worst idea you’ve had. Jake hums, folding his arms over his chest.

“Okay. What word?” He agrees.

“I don’t know.” You shrug your shoulders. Jake glares at you for a moment, then cranes his neck back to stare at the ceiling. He considers it for a moment, then lets out a breath and turns his head back to you. It makes sense that a song Bradley Bradshaw used to sing is the only thing in his head right now.

An annoying, bouncy tune that makes Jake turn the radio off every time he hears it. He begrudgingly picks his answer.

“Renegade.”

“Why renegade?”

Jake shrugs those stupid, broad shoulders of his, “It’s a song. Doesn’t come up in conversation much. It works.”

“Okay. Renegade. Deal.”

“Another rule: you have to stop flirting with me.” Jake leans forwards to let you know that he’s serious. His face his stern, brow furrowed, lips together. His shoulders look even broader than usual when he’s sitting like this in that fitted black t-shirt. He’s impossibly handsome.

You lean back on your palms. You know that he means it, but something in you tells you to push harder to irritate him. Just once more.

“Maybe we should fuck right now, then - so I can get it out of my system.”

Jake stares at you. That smug look on your face as you lean back against your crisp, white sheets. Your neatly styled hair, pretty dress still on from this afternoon’s conference. He parts his knees a little further, his face serious.

“Okay. Let’s do it.” Jake says calmly. He watches your lips part in surprise, then pushes himself up from the chair. He seems taller when he stands this time. Stronger as he reaches the end of the bed, leans forward and curls his fingertips around your ankle.

You falter. A split second where the confidence is gone, you’re a deer in headlights, blinking up at him.

Then, you’re composed again - trained. A real politician. Confident. Jake watches as you open your mouth, ready to talk back - to challenge him again. He doesn’t give you a chance to say anything.

Jake tugs hard at your ankle. You fall back on your palms, grabbing at the sheets for leverage as Jake’s fingers find your other ankle. He drags you to the edge of the bed and parts your legs for him to stand between. You stare up at him.

Your dress rides up slightly, caught at the midway point of your thighs, giving Jake just a slight glimpse of the pale blue fabric between your legs. He pulls you closer and presses his crotch against your clothed core, making you gasp softly.

He grinds himself against you just slightly, making your eyes widen.

“Come on, sweetheart,” Jake’s hands skim along your thighs, stopping periodically to squeeze at the soft flesh, until his hands are under your dress and holding your hips. “Don’t go all shy on me now.”

You close your mouth, suddenly very aware of the way it was just hanging open. Jake’s strong hands squeeze at your hips.

“Tell me how bad you want it.” His voice is low and serious, those sharp green eyes are locked on yours and he’s waiting for an answer. Your heart feels like it’s going to burst out of your chest.

You stare at him.

“Cat got your tongue?” Jake rocks his hips forwards, grinding himself against the thin fabric separating your core from the rough fabric of his jeans. “Wanna hear it. You’ve always got so much to say, I know you’ve thought about this. Let me hear how bad you want my cock.”

You swallow, your chest rising and falling as you try not to gasp for air under him.

Jake has to stop looking at your face. That flushed look, lips parted as you stumble for words, so caught up in him that you can’t find anything to say. His cock twitches in his jeans.

Jake cups your jaw in his hand, curling his fingers around it as he turns your head. His body presses to yours. Firm muscles under the fabric of his t-shirt.

You’re scared for him to touch you — you know you’ll never live down how wet you are already. Your eyes close, head leaning back against the bedsheets as you let him turn your head, exposing your neck to him.

Jake’s lips graze your earlobe. You can feel that he’s smirking. “Say something, princess. Not doing anything until you do, better make it pretty convincing.”

You whine, swallowing as you rack your brain for the right words.

“Please.” It’s pathetic, and you’re furious at yourself the moment it slips your lips. His lips graze your neck but he doesn’t kiss your skin, you can feel that he’s still smirking. You push yourself against him. “Jake. Please fuck me.”

Jake hums sympathetically. He nods his head, brushing your jaw with his nose. “Aw, honey. You need it that bad?”

“So bad.” You breathe out, eyes screwed shut as you reach up and curl your fingers around his bicep.

His hand slides up into your hair, cradling the base of your skull as he rocks his hips forwards against your core, nosing softly at your cheek, “Tryin’ to get me in trouble? — hm? — Don’t think your dad would be offering me a promotion if he could see me now.”

“Won’t tell.” You choke out quickly, squeezing your fingers around his thick bicep. “I won’t say anything. Please.”

Jake pulls back just slightly, hooking his index finger around your jaw, turning your face until you’re looking at him. His lips quirk up as he caresses your cheek tenderly.

He leans in close. You think he’s finally going to kiss you, your heart’s beating so fast that he must be able to feel it. Jake swipes his thumb softly over your bottom lip, admires that pretty face.

“You’re not worth it.” Jake whispers.

His eyes train in on yours. There’s a tenderness to his expression, as if he didn’t just humiliate you. Your brows furrow. His hand squeezes softly around your hip. “My rule stands. I’ll see you tonight.”

He stands up, turns and heads for the door. Your jaw hangs open.

“Fucking asshole!” You shout after him. Jake closes the door to your room behind him and heads for his room.

He walks calmly, fixing his tie as he walks. His intention was just to teach you a lesson, but he can’t pretend that the semi he’s sporting currently doesn’t throw him off a little.

Still, it did what it was supposed to do. After embarrassing you like that, he figures you’ll be too ashamed to keep flirting with him.

And after the way you just begged him to fuck you, certainly too ashamed to tell your father about what just happened.

Jake closes his door and checks his watch. Two hours until the beginning of the charity gala, where he’ll meet your parents for the first time. Jake knows that you’re going to be furious at him all evening.

An added bonus: if you hate him, you’ll hopefully avoid him and he’ll be able to do his job without distraction.

…

Tag List:

@alanadetigy @thedroneranger @momc95 @basicchelsea @perpetuelledaydreaming @cherrycola27 @eviesaurusrex @xoxabs88xox @desert-fern @fuckyeahhangman @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @khaylin27 @cowboybarbie @the-mouse27 @hawsx3 @someinsanefangirl @marchingicenotes7 @marantha @lgg5989 @herladyshipxx @chaoticweirdogeek @mak-32 @obiwankenobis-lap @diamond-3

[swabian-princess]

Appearance goals until summer

Hey girlies,

since I got promoted to a stay at home girlfriend a big part of my „job“ is to look my absolute best for myself and my man.

We have an event in the beginning of June and my birthday is in July, so I have set myself a deadline – I will be the best version of myself in the summer!

perfect skin – face: I won’t need a new skincare routine because I’m happy with my routine and with the results I’m getting. My pores are almost invisible and I only get pimples right before my period starts. The only thing I will start doing is using retinol again, however, I think two times a week should be enough for me.

perfect skin – body: shame on me – I seriously neglected my body skincare for the last couple of months but that’s gonna change now. I am shaving every second day and do a peeling beforehand when I’m already in the shower. I have a few dark spots and little red spots on my thighs and legs and since I am very pale they are super visible. I’ll start using a chemical exfoliant on those spots to brighten them up. I’ll also start mixing vitamin C and retinol in my bodylotion a few times a week.

Reduce the appearance of cellulite: I only have cellulite on top of the back of my thighs and minimal on my butt – so it’s not really visible in any clothing. Still, I want to look my best in swimsuits. I’ll try out thigh wraps with ground coffee once a week, focus on building muscles in those areas and I’ll be upping my water intake!

super white teeth: I brush my teeth two times a day, obviously, but I’ll start flossing in the morning too! I am also gonna use a mouth wash after every brushing session and I will book one teeth whitening appointment.

fresh nails: I’ll visit the nail salon every 3-4 weeks and get my my toes and hands done. Always in a natural pinkish color or with french tips. I’m also gonna start using hand lotion at home way more often.

perfect hair: my hair got pretty long in the last few months and goes below my shoulder blades. I have an hair appointment coming up and I want to go almost platinum. I want to be really light blonde for spring and in the summer. To maintain the color, I’ll go back every 6-8 weeks to get my roots retouched. At home I’m oiling my scalp and my hair once a week with argan oil. I am also going to use heat protection every time I style my hair.

perfect lips: I already have 1ml hyaluron in my lips but I want them just a little bit more jucy. Maybe 0,5ml will be enough – we’ll see!

appointment with my injector: she's amazing. She’s always honest and never did me or any of my girlfriends wrong. I want her opinion on maybe jaw/cheek or chin filler to make my face more symmetrical. I also want to talk about baby botox and a botox brow lift.

working out: duh. I workout 3-5x times a week and I want to tone up just a little bit more before summer starts. I’ll also try starting to incorperate daily walks into my routine.

new wardrobe: I am gonna clean out my closet in the next few weeks and either donate or throw out anything that doesn’t fit my aesthetic anymore. After that, I’m slowly gonna start building my dream wardrobe.

Selene

[jujumin-translates]

[A3!] ★ Main Story | Act 14 - DREAM CATCHER | Episode 9 - Vigor

Kumon: Pardon us.

Misumi: Ah, thanks for coming, guys~.

Madoka: Good evening.

Izumi: So you came too, huh, Madoka-kun.

Misumi: I invited him~.

Tenma: Here, we brought you something.

Misumi: Yaaay~! Triangle yatsuhashi and triangle flowers~!

Madoka: I was just hearing about what’s going on at MANKAI Company right now. It’s about time for you to start preparing for Summer Troupe’s performance, right?

Kumon: Yeah. How are things going at GOD-za?

Madoka: Just like MANKAI’s did, our rank went up during the first quarter, but we’re still pretty far from the top ten.

Madoka: Because of being on the Board of Directors, Kamikizaka-san can’t be involved with any of GOD-za’s activities…

Madoka: So on the production side of things, we’re all trying to do our best under Haruto-san’s new direction.

Izumi: I see…

Madoka: That’s why I, too, need to improve the quality of my scripts more than ever now…

Misumi: So Madoka’s working his hardest, too. That means I’ve gotta work just as hard.

Announcement: “Thank you very much for coming today.”

Izumi: Ah, it’s almost time for the show to start. Let’s get back to our seats.

Tenma: Break a leg.

Kumon: We can’t wait~!

Madoka: Break a leg, Nii-san.

Misumi: Kaa~ay!

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Misumi: …

Misumi: “O world’s reason, my goddess. I am bound by your law.”

Misumi: “Why must I endure the disease of convention and obey the national standards?”

Misumi: “Is it because I was born twelve months, or possibly fifteen months, later than my elder brother? Is it because I am a bastard child? Because of origin?”

Izumi: --.

Izumi: (Misumi-kun’s vigor is incredible. He’s surrounded by veteran actors, but he’s not letting phase him at all.)

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Kumon: Sumi-san was incredible! It was really surprising to see how different he was from our usual Summer Troupe performances!

Tenma: Seeing him in a different theater like that really lets you appreciate him as an actor again.

Kumon: Sumi-san really does do just as good of a job on an outside stage, huh?

Kumon: I wonder if I can become like that if I grow more as an actor…

Kumon: No, it has to be that… But I’m not quite there yet…

Izumi: Something wrong?

Kumon: No, it’s nothing! When we get back to the dorms, I’m gonna tell everyone who hasn’t seen it yet what I thought of it!

[ ⇠ Previous Part ] • [ Next Part ⇢ ]

[imadeoutwithmikeywayonwarpedtour]

transcript for the marina toybina interview

if you haven’t seen it already, gerard’s costume designer for the us leg of the tour, marina toybina recently did an interview for the john campea show. i saw some people looking for a transcript and i didn’t see that someone already made one so i did one!

here’s the link, the interview starts around 22:06

transcript under cut :)

INT (Robert Meyer Burnett): Well, now you just finished working with My Chemical Romance, which is a band that I dig. Gerard Way, is also a comic book writer and artist, created the Umbrella Academy.

MARINA TOYBINA: Yeah. 

INT: So first of all: how did you get that job, because there’s a design, there’s a design—the look of that band and what they like to do and what they’re influenced by, they’re not just your typical rock band. So what was it like, how did you get that job? And you designed the whole tour, right?

M: Um, I collaborated with the lead singer, yes, with Gerard. Um, okay. Everything kind of has its place in time.

M: 15 years ago, 15-20 years ago, I was a huge fan. I am a rock girl at heart. Back then, a lot of their music was like, music to my soul. It got me through some of the harder times, a lot of my friends were musicians, and I-I never saw them live, never could afford tickets to their shows, but knew one day that in my heart, I’m like, there probably will be an opportunity one day. They were like my top five favourite bands and he was just already an artist I’ve always wanted to work with. And, this past summer when I was designing So You Think you Can Dance, I just happened to turn on their music—nope, let me rewind, I’m so sorry.

M: So a year ago, I was reading a release that they’re coming back together on tour and they’re playing LA on my birthday. And I look at my team and I was like, I’m gonna be at that show, we’re gonna go to the show, we’re all gonna go together and I just jokingly said I’m like, “I’ll probably dress them.”

M: And a lot of things in my career have happened to manifestation, like I’m a huge believer in that. And I think my intentions were so clear into the universe and I believed in it so much that that happened a year ago, and then this past summer, I was driving to work, I was listening to their music, and I just happened to text my agent and I’m like, you know I really wanna get back into music. It’s what I used to do, I used to do a lot of live performances, I used to do a lot of music videos. I need to feel that again. Even though I’m surrounded by music all the time, and I’m doing all these shows. But there’s some—there was a disconnect in my career where it’s like, I love live entertainment.

M: And she’s like “Who do you want, like are we going after pop stars?” And I’m like no, I’ve done all that. I want to go back to my roots, like I want Incubus or My Chemical Romance—

INT: Nice!

M: Red Hot Chili Peppers, I’m like, get me back to rock and roll. 

M: And she was like, “Well, they’re touring but, let’s just put it out there.” 

M: And then, within two weeks I get an email from her and be like “Hey, their managers want to meet with you, he wants to meet with you.” And one of the biggest things about their aesthetic is—probably one of my top 3 costume designers is Colleen Atwood, [and she] did their Black Parade album, and it was so incredible and I, back then, I was always a step behind. It’s like, they did the Black Parade, and then I met the photographer later, then I worked on a project with him. So it was always like, some better late than never I guess. And I’m like, I’m gonna work with him someday, I love her work, I’ve been told by many people we’re a lot alike, you know? And I’m like, why not.

M: And so, we get this email that he would like to take a meeting, see what we can do. And I never expected to do the tour. I just wanted to open this door of opportunity to just collaborate, maybe do one thing together.

M: And he just showed up in my studio, and it was just, an amazing artistic, like-

INT: Were you starstruck? I mean Gerard Way is like, one of your-

M: I was trying to hold it together! I mean, before they came in, I can’t tell you how much I paced. And usually there’s like, 15-20 people at my studio, and this was the time, the day that I was alone, you know. I didn’t know what to do. And of course, my expectations were just to do like, present myself, and see if I would be a good asset to them, or something, because I love their music. I love what he’s about, and it’s also like, it’s not just the frontman for me. I think he’s a brilliant artist.

M: So there were a lot of things, I just wanted our worlds to merge somehow. And within the first five minutes of a conversation, I’m like “Oh, I get his brain.”

M: And I told him my story, I told him that this is like, 20 years in the making, and probably sound like a crazy fan costume designer. We shared ideas, he kind of walked me through the concepts of things he wants to do on this particular tour. They haven’t started doing the US leg of the tour, I didn’t know if they had a designer, and he did mention Colleen was doing something for him. And I was like, okay, how can this-can this be a triangle? [laughs] Can I come in on the picture?

M: It was just a beautiful collaboration. It was like, a genuine artist to artist conversation. Like. “Let’s do something interesting.” He walked me through his concepts, his ideas. And I’m like. alright, let me come up with some creatives, see if we’re on the same page. Again, as much as I wanted to be like, “Hey, we’re doing this tomorrow.” I also felt like it’s important, now, in my career and possibly in his, to make sure the relationship is good, you know? Like this is the right artistic match to one another. And it worked.

M: From there it was just like, amazing fittings, amazing collaboration, and some iconic things that went viral.

INT: I love hearing this from you, because this is like, the joyous experience when, “Oh my God, I’ve dreamt of working with somebody.” And you finally get to do it. 

INT: But I want to take you back to that, because I’m curious. How would that process even begin?

M: Right.

INT: You’re working with somebody that, you already know their music, you already know his vibe. And Colleen Atwood, who I’ve interviewed on the show by the way, she’s incredible. Our interview, she was in the middle of the work day so it was a short interview. But, how does a collaboration like that work with somebody like Gerard Way? How do you guys start working together? How is that process?

M: It was just like, an initial conversation, you know? I introduced myself, my work. They already did some background, kind of checking out to see where I stand, what my aesthetic was like. And I felt like, in a place in my life right now, in my career, I was able to bring something new. And that’s where my confidence, I think, came from. At the same time, I didn’t want to change the artist that’s in front of me. I think that’s always so important when working with music. You’re dealing with a fanbase and a reputation, an aesthetic approach that’s far beyond any artistic reach of anybody coming in.

INT: Right.

M: So for me it was, you know. Having a conversation, understanding what characters he wanted to bring forward. This was a very playful tour. This wasn’t about dressing up the whole band. This was about him being in this world of iconic characters and, how can we bring this to life, and what can we do that’s very recognizable to his fans, at the same time, a little bit of a shock value, you know.

M: But at the same time, I wanted him to be him. And he was in this beautiful place in his life and career right now, where he felt great, felt confident, and I just wanted to uplift that. We went through the creative decks, went through the conversations, which characters we wanted to go with. These are the shows that he had, I knew which city we kind of wanted to play off, like where was the right time, like Halloween was right around the corner, what do we do. 

M: So it was like, very strategic conversations, but at the same time, room to play and be creative. So I had just gathered the top 10 characters that we had discussed, and kind of started doing my own thing, and keeping him and the music in mind, and had an amazing fitting.

M: And I’ve never worked with an artist that’s so clear. Not just like, directional and very precise and very distinct on his own style, but it was just even clear for me when we were doing fittings that this is somebody that knows his body. This is somebody who knows his aesthetic on stage. This is somebody that knows how they’re going to perform. It just made it so much easier for me to be able to fall into his world. And do the fittings to where: Is this going to come off, is this piece staying on, are we going to do options, you know, is the character going to evolve on stage, is the character going to come down on stage. All those conversations happen in our fittings and then I just packed it all up with distinct notes, and sent them off, and then kept checking in making sure everything was okay, and yeah.

INT: So would you, when you had a direction for the characters, were you doing sketches first?

M: No, not at all! This was something that I kind of felt like, needed to have the research? It wasn’t just about designing something on paper.

INT: Right, okay.

M: When he mentioned to me, “I want to be a vintage cheerleader.” I’m like, okay what era are we in? 50s, 60s, 70s, you know, 40s? And then he was like, “Find me something that’s within, possibly, this color scheme.”

INT: Okay.

M: And for me it was like, the image that went viral when he did wear the cheer uniform. It was probably like 10 different vintage stores that we went to. And I’m like, okay everything’s size zero, or like, what am I gonna do, you know? This stuff doesn’t exist anymore, if I get it from Etsy it’s not gonna come in on time. There was so much.

M: And it happened to be as we were leaving one of the stores I look on the sale rack. And I find this damaged, weird, like, vintage cheer dress that had no zipper, that had no hem, and I was like. I love this. 

M: I love this because I can reconstruct it, I can go and get the fabrics we need to still keep it original and authentic. And that’s how we start working. I build out a dress size, I had a mannequin his size at my studio. Put it on, we reshaped it, took the whole thing apart, reconstructed it to be his measurements, and still kept it authentic.

M: And after he wore it, the pattern I think for the actual thing was sold out.

INT: Wow.

M: His fans loved it so much that we were getting notifications that people actually found the original pattern of this 1940s uniform and were buying it out.

INT: That’s crazy!

M: Oh it’s amazing. I think, to me, it’s like that’s when things are just meant to be. Not only did my work translate into something beautiful on stage, but then he becomes this incredible persona on stage that then delivers the character and plays it off. We did that throughout every single look, every single look went like, became a fan favourite, or crazy yeah.

INT: in terms of time, what was the process when you first got the gig and then to the first show that was performed using your work? What was the time-frame?

M: I think I had about a month to get it all together.

INT: Wow, so that’s not much.

M: At the same time, I had another huge project in the works. So it was going back in forth, but. I could not tell you, like, I’ve had difficult projects in the past. And I’ve had difficult times with artists, you know, finding our own language, how to execute some things. This was so easy, that time didn’t matter to me.

M: It was such a great collaboration and so it flowed, like Bruce Lee would say, like water. It just made sense. No matter how difficult my other project was, or what was going on at the same time, it was like, the universe showing me: this is how it’s supposed to be. This is what’s inspiring me. 

M: And at the end of the day, the one thing I told Gerard, “You made me fall in love with music again. You came into my life as an artist that I’ve admired and wanted to work with for almost 20 years.” And there was a big part of my beginning, that just made me look back at this now and be like oh. That was that feeling that I had when I was 16, 20.

INT: Well that’s amazing. Congratulations on that. 

M: Thank you.

INT: What an exciting project! That you did so quickly.

M: Yeah, it was amazing.

[antisocialmastermind]

Chapter 13

Chap 1 Chap 2 Chap 3 Chap 4 Chap 5 Chap 6 Chap 7 Chap 8 Chap 9 Chap 10 Chap 11 Chap 12 on Ao3

Day 13: KAINGGW = gawking

Kurt leaves New York. Just for a couple weeks; just to get his head on straight. He pulls out the emergency credit card and runs home to his dad like a kicked puppy. He’s fallen victim to his bruised ego again and Burt Hummel can always give him a swift kick in the ass if it’s needed. Kurt’s not sure if it is, but he definitely needs his dad to hug him. Burt’s good at that, too.

So he goes home. He sleeps. He eats his stepmother’s middle-American comfort food. He sulks and pines and when he finally can’t force himself to stay angry anymore, he tells his father everything. 

“What I don’t get,” Burt Hummel says after a long time of looking at Kurt, “is why it bothers you so much that he bought your stuff. I mean the guy likes art, right? He was there at a gallery opening. And he likes you, so why not? Why’s that got you so upset?”

“Dad. It’s so… condescending. Like, ‘my boyfriend is an artist so I’m gonna support him by buying everything he makes with all this money I have lying around.’ I want my work to sell because it’s good or valuable or it speaks to someone. Not because my boyfriend felt this patronizing need to finance my career.”

Burt looks confused. “Do you think that’s what he’s doing?”

“I don’t know,” Kurt almost whines. “It just doesn’t sit well with me. He doesn’t have to think about money. I think maybe he thought he was being nice . But, look Dad, now I have to worry about my job, too. And I thought I could maybe make it without the restaurant, you know? Because my work was actually selling. So I could work at the gallery and make art and not have to wait tables anymore. But he… he took that. He took my confidence in myself and my work.”

“Way I see it, he’d be pretty upset that you’re thinking of it that way. Sounds like the guy actually cares about you, Kurt.”

“That’s just it,” Kurt says petulantly. “Does he? Or am I just a pet project or something? He can buy me a few fancy dinners and keep buying my work and I just roll over?”

“Anyone that thinks you’d roll over for them has another think coming,” Burt laughs. “Did he really seem like that was what he was after? Some grateful little puppy following him around?”

“I don’t know, Dad,” Kurt says. “And I’m not gonna spend my time and energy second-guessing his motivations.”

“Seems like you wouldn’t have to if you woulda let the guy get a word in edgewise, Kurt,” Burt says frankly.

Kurt has enough self awareness to blush. But then he digs his heels in. “I’m not comfortable with it,” he says. “So regardless of how he justifies it, it – he – we are not gonna work.”

“Okay, kid,” Burt says thoughtfully. “You know I got your back. Always. But maybe think about why he shook your confidence so easy. Is that really a him problem?”

Kurt doesn’t really want to think about what his Dad is getting at, so he just says “Thanks, Dad. I love you,” and gets up from the table.

*****

By the time he’s back in New York, Kurt has resigned himself to moving on with his life, his job, his art. If only the universe will cooperate.

And it seems like maybe it might.

He wakes up to a New York September morning, cool now until the sun has a chance to warm the concrete. Then it will feel like summer. Elliott’s in the kitchen singing at the top of his lungs and stirring scrambled eggs when Kurt makes his usual beeline for the coffee pot.

“What’s got you so sunny this morning?” he asks his roommate’s back as he sips his coffee.

“Well,” Elliott says chirpily, “You’re home, for one. Good trip?”

“It was,” Kurt replies. “I needed it.”

“Excellent.” Elliott grins. “I’m glad. And two, the gallery’s safe.”

Kurt chokes a little on his coffee, gawking at his friend. “What? How ?”

“The building sold,” Elliott tells him. “But it sold to a holding company that’s very pro-arts I guess. They’d like to make an arts center out of it – they’re hoping to attract only arts-related businesses. So we stay.” Elliott’s grin is wide as he shrugs his shoulders. “That’s what Jerome told me. All I know is that instead of writing rent checks to Jerome, I’m writing them to Harmony Real Estate starting October first.”

“Elliott!” Kurt shrieks. “That’s fantastic!” He flings himself into his best friend’s arms.

Things are definitely looking up.

****

It’s a little stunning how quickly things fall into place after that. The building itself is quickly christened ‘ArtsHub,’ and renovations of various units are underway. They already have a wine bar in residence next door, which is a perfect fit for the clientele the gallery wants to attract. Other units are in various stages of being transformed into a tiny independent film theater, a music store that will also offer instrument lessons, and a dance studio. There’s a persistent rumor that it’s Rachel Berry’s private dance coach who’s moving her studio into the second floor space. It’s sort of a big deal and doing wonders for public interest in the space.

Because of the constant construction work, the new owners have graciously offered a small discount on the gallery’s rent for a few months, so Elliott can pay Kurt and himself without worrying. Chandler wishes them luck and gratefully bows out, so Kurt does days and Elliott does evenings and Kurt starts putting away money to buy into the business one of these days.

Their living situation is still up in the air. Kurt thinks that Elliott will eventually move in with Sebastian. They’re in love and it only makes sense. But they’re going slowly and carefully and they’re both okay with that. Kurt’s impressed with Sebastian’s boyfriend persona. He never would have imagined he’d see Sebastian so smitten with anything. But he’s clearly head over heels for Elliott and Elliott just seems so relaxed and quietly happy. Kurt can’t begrudge them anything, despite the fact that his own love life is once again circling the bowl.

He has a lot of time sitting in a quiet art gallery to think about Blaine and about what his dad said to him back in August. He thinks about his own self confidence and gondolas in Central Park and he’s still confused and angry but he misses Blaine if he’s honest with himself. He misses him a lot. Especially one Wednesday when a familiar delivery woman strolls into the gallery with a dozen red roses and says directly to Kurt, “Delivery for … Elliott Gilbert?”

Kurt doesn’t look up. “Mmm-hmm,” he says and points to the corner of the desk. She puts the roses down gently and then stands there until Kurt stops what he’s doing and looks up at her expectantly. “Yes?” he says. But she just looks disappointed and glances from the roses back to Kurt before she leaves the gallery shaking her head.

And Blaine… Kurt has to give Blaine points for respecting his wishes, because it’s as if the man never existed. He doesn’t call or text. He sends no flowers or gifts. He doesn’t show up at the gallery despite the fact that he’s a collector of art and has a legitimate reason to be there. He doesn’t try to win Kurt back with expensive displays. He just disappears into Kurt’s memories and that’s the end of it. Blaine, ever the gentleman, has taken no for an answer and simply vanished. 

Kurt’s sad.

****

By the end of September, everything seems settled. Elliott’s been at Sebastian's a lot because apparently Sebastian has an old friend who’s going through something, so Elliott goes over to feed him and support him while Sebastian, in turn, spends his energy supporting his friend. Kurt and Elliott don’t see each other much anyway because they work opposite shifts, but now they only see each other in the gallery and it’s hard to celebrate their business success alone. And they’re clearly becoming successful.

Kurt takes to staying late at Muse so he can socialize with his best friend before they change shifts. He doesn’t have anywhere to go in the evenings anyway, so he spends time in the studio working on various pieces or sitting next to Elliott at the desk while they talk, or cleaning the front windows till they sparkle. It’s better than the empty apartment that’s waiting for him.

He’s at the studio one Thursday evening, rubbing Dutch Wax Cloth with yellow clay, happy with the resulting patina, and imagining the finished piece, when he hears Elliott’s voice, urgent and low, speaking with someone out in the gallery. He can’t hear anything but Elliott’s tone, which is definitely serious. Kurt rinses the wet clay from his fingers and walks out into the gallery drying his hands with a towel. He’s surprised to see Wesley Jiang standing next to the desk in clipped conversation with Elliott. That’s … odd.

“Wes?” Kurt says hesitantly, and almost feels bad when Wes’s head shoots up as if he’s been shocked. Kurt notices Elliott’s jaw tighten minutely in his peripheral vision.

“Oh, hi, Kurt,” Wes says politely. “How are you?”

“I’m well, thank you,” Kurt replies, “and you?”

“Oh, fine, fine,” Wes answers quickly. The two of them look at each other awkwardly for a moment. Kurt swallows his pride.

“Um, how’s Blaine?” he asks, trying to sound both chipper and nonchalant. He’s not sure he manages.

“Oh.” Wes’s laugh sounds a little too forced. “I, ah, I wouldn’t know. He’s in LA staying with his brother. Looks like he might move out there permanently.” 

“Really?” Kurt is stunned. He’d never in a million years picture Blaine in LA. He just seems so … utterly New York. “That’s surprising,” is what he says to Wes.

Wes’s brow furrows and he looks at Kurt for a moment as if he can’t possibly understand him before he turns back to Elliott, who looks almost panicked. “Anyway, Elliott, that’s the plan. I’ll get all the details to you as soon as I can.” He glances back toward Kurt. “Nice to see you again Kurt,” he says. And he strides briskly from the gallery.

Kurt stands there in stunned silence for a moment, feeling distinctly uncomfortable, before he turns slowly to Elliott.

“What the heck was that all about?” he asks.

“Just business,” Elliott replies without looking at Kurt, his jaw still tight and his eyes fixed on the laptop screen in front of him.

“Is he buying something?” Kurt asks, and Elliott shakes his head.

“What business, then?” Kurt says and Elliott still won’t look at him, acting for all the world like whatever he’s doing on the laptop is vitally interesting and important.

Kurt’s eyes narrow as he looks at his friend. “What business, Elliott?” he snaps.

And Elliott lifts his head, looking exactly like the proverbial deer in the headlights, and stares at Kurt for a second.

“I’m not supposed to tell you,” he says. “You’re not supposed to know.”

Kurt crosses his arms across his chest and raises an eyebrow.

“Fine,” Elliot snipes, “but I’ll deny it, you understand? I didn’t tell you. I never said a thing.”

“Oh my god, Elliott.” Kurt’s lost all semblance of patience. “What ?”

Elliott sighs like he’s relieving himself of a heavy burden.

“Harmony Real Estate? Our landlord? Is Wes. And Blaine.”

Kurt feels like he’s been slapped.

****

When Kurt wants to drink, he’ll have wine or a vodka cocktail. If Kurt’s drinking tequila it’s because he wants to be fucked up . 

Which, thankfully, Elliott knows.

Because Kurt’s a bit of a mess.

The gallery’s closed and the two of them are sitting on their couch. It’s after midnight and Kurt has been doing tequila shots for the past two hours. Elliott’s brought him two glasses of water and finally hidden the tequila bottle when Kurt got up to stumble to the bathroom.

He flings himself back onto the couch and looks stupidly at Elliott. “Where’s my drink?” he says.

Elliott just points at the water glass. “Right there,” he says. Luckily, Kurt’s not a belligerent drunk. He looks bemusedly at the water and takes a sip.

“Okay. So. Elliott,” he enunciates.

“Yes, Kurt.” Elliott is a very patient man.

“Lemme see if I understand this.”

“Kurt, honey,” Elliott chuckles, “I don't think you’d understand your own name right now.”

“No, Elliott, lissen.” Kurt blinks at him a few times and Elliott, wisely, listens.

“You are telling me,” Kurt says slowly, “that Blaine heard the gallery was–” he sighs as if words are too hard “–in trouble. So he bought it. The building, I mean. He bought the building. Because Sebastian told him to. Because Sebastian – that name is very hard to say, Elliott.”

“It’s really not, honey,” Elliott says. “Drink your water.”

“No, wait, lissen,” Kurt says again after a sip of water. “Because Sebastian knows Blaine and they’re friends and Sebastian said to buy it and Blaine just bought it? But he said ‘don’t tell Kurt’ so nobody told me and you all just lied? Is that what you’re telling me?”

“Not quite what I said,” Elliott replies, “But close enough for now.”

“But why?” Kurt wails.

“I think,” Elliott says carefully, “because he wanted you to be happy and okay. And he could make that happen. So he did.”

Kurt bursts into tears.

“Elliott,” he sobs, “why would he do that? Why? I was so mean to him, Elliott. And now he’s leaving and I’ll probably never see him again. And he – I –”

“Kurt,” Elliott says kindly, “finish your water. You need sleep. We can talk about this tomorrow.”

So Kurt drinks and Elliott helps him to the bathroom again. He feeds him three Advil and helps him take his jeans off when he trips and puts a bucket next to Kurt’s bed, just in case. 

He’s still sniffling when Elliott closes his door.

[erodasfishtacos]

Okay mama personal question

I wanna do child/teen counselling and forensic…so the thing is I’d have to move all across the globe to pursue it but I’ve been seeing all these people on the net saying that it’s not been paying them well and stuff and ofc money is not my first concern but if I move across and leave my family will I be able to sustain myself comfortably?! And do we get a good placement after masters? Or is it like medical that it’s gonna take years to build coz I think I wanna get a phD too

Also can u actually pursue both counselling and forensic???

PS : I gotta start applying to college next month and this year is sooooo bad nearly 80% of my batch flunked mid terms plus I don’t wanna leave home tbh but I kind of want to get out there :(

You definitely don’t make a lot starting out. Here are my thoughts. If your goal is to be therapist and you want to be successsful and have a good income. You have to get your masters and you have to get licensed. The money comes in when you’re liscensed and that means you can work in private practices where commercial insurances are paying the bigger bucks. You can easily make over 100k in the field with all the degrees.

It is a huge decision and a massive commitment so I would really consider it before you do it.

I’ll talk to you through what my experience looked like

Undergrad degree in psychology with a minor in sociology (4 years)

Masters degree in clinical mental health counseling (2.5 years)

In my masters program, I have to complete 350 hours of unpaid practicum, 650 hours of internship. That equals out to about 40 hours a week in internship on top of five classes.

In my school, to graduate I had to pass the CPCE.

Then after you graduate, you need to take the NCE which is the National Counselors Exam and pass that - that’s about a 300 question exam that I studied about nine months for

Then after you pass your NCE you have to then get 3000 supervised hours of work (about 2.5 years) before you can apply to be an LPC.

I just became an LPC this summer and I’m 28.

My college did not set me up with a job.

PhD is a good idea depending on what you want to do with it. I am planning to start my PhD program when I turn 30 and get it in counselor education so that I can be a professor and teach.

The reason LPC makes money and an unlicensed therapist with a masters doesn’t is because insurance will not pay nonlisenced therapist, thus private practice won’t hire you unless the company accepts medicad and Medicare which pay bare minimum or out of pocket pay.

As for what you’re planning to do.. I am a child and family therapist.

I did all of my internship and practicum at a children’s psychiatric hospital

And all my supervised hours in an agency that does family therapy funded through the state

Any type of specialize means more education, trainings, certifications, etc…

I am certified grief counselor but I had to take endless trainings for it.

As for the forensic side, I’m not sure what job you’re thinking out and I’m not knowledgeable on that side.

This isn’t trying to steer you away from the profession.

However, even though I would do it all over again, I wish someone would have told me how fucking difficult it was going to be.

[sinisterexaggerator]

Hondo Ohnaka’s Not-So-Big Score can be found in this book, which I did in fact purchase, however:

I am posting this here because access to the short story is so hard to come by. THIS IS NOT MY WORK. I did not write this. This is canon/legends material. Transcript by @queenevac. Thank you for allowing me to use it for this post!

Written by Jason Fry / Art by Chris Scalf / Featured in Star Wars Insider #144

It was a summer’s day on Florrum, which meant the plains were baking, the generators were overloaded, and the last place Hondo Ohnaka wanted to be was a messy office crowded with unwashed Weequay pirates. And on top of everything else, the holoprojector refused to work no matter how many times the pirate boss whacked it with his fist.

“Master, you’re hitting the off switch,” objected 4A-2R, attempting to squeeze between the leathery-skinned Finn Tegotash and Goru. Tegotash, annoyed, shoved the bug-eyed protocol droid into Goru, who threatened the hapless mechanical with immediate disassembly.

“Four-aye, as soon as you’re done provoking the gentlemen we’ll get down to business,” Hondo said.

One of Hondo’s blows connected with the activation switch, and the pirates hooted appreciatively at the glossy, needle-nosed liner that now hung in the air above his desk.

“Our target is the Salin Mariner, traveling from Lianna to Botajef,” Hondo said. “A C-One liner with eighteen passengers in first class, enjoying the finest hospitality that Salin Excursions has to offer.”

Hondo raised his goggles and grinned.

“Oh, the sights they’ll see along the fabulous Salin! The Fire Rapids of Mazuma! The Carpastor Comet Swarm! And at the end, a few lucky ones will visit the plains of Florrum and get an up-close look at a real working pirate base!”

Most of the pirates laughed and cheered ―  only Hondo’s hasty warning kept Dagu Flask from firing a celebratory pistol shot into the light fixture. But a few of the Weequays looked confused.

“The trip to Florrum will come after we kidnap them from the ship and hold them for ransom,” Hondo said, more slowly this time.

 Now everyone was cheering ―  including the Kowakian monkey-lizard Pilf Mukmuk, cackling merrily from his usual perch on Hondo’s shoulder. 

“Be a pleasure blowin’ a hole in that pretty boat,” the massive Goru grunted. “We’ll stop her dead then plunder her at our leisure!”

Hondo cut short the other cheers.

“Whoa now ―  an operation like this requires subtlety and finesse. We shall select our guests through personal inspection during the cruise. Once we have them picked out, we’ll arrange a diversion, bring the Mariner to a halt, and be in and out before sector law enforcement can arrive.”

“But I wanted to blow a hole in ‘er,” grumbled Goru.

“Who’s gonna pick the lucky passengers, boss?” asked Tegotash.

“Ah,” Hondo said. “For that job we’ll need someone sophisticated and cultured, a refined traveler who can blend in with the upper-crust of galactic society.”

The Pirates looked baffled.

“Hey, I’m talking about myself of course,” Hondo said. “Behold Rondo Rosada, import-export magnate and art collector!”

“But boss, won’t you need back up to take the hostages?” asked Flask.

“Our associate at Salin Excursions has arranged for three slots aboard the Mariner. Turk and Piit will be joining me on the cruise.”

The pirates stared enviously at Turk Falso and Peg Leg Piit.

“Now that’s some high-class piratin’!” Sabo said, then began to guffaw. “Imagine ol’ Piit here decked out in the finery of a Sakiyan princess!”

Piit tossed her pigtail, offended. “I clean up jes’ fine. Unlike a grimy spice-goblin like yerself.”

Hondo whistled to cut short the resulting argument.

“Alas! There is only one opening in first class. Turk and Piit shall be posing as crew, and assisting me ― no doubt heroically― from belowdecks.”

“Belowdecks?” Turk wailed, jowl frills drooping.

“Belowdecks,” Hondo said. “Sanitation, to be specific.”

---

Hondo straightened the lines of his black velvet doublet, buffed his crystal monocle on his sleeve, then stepped onto the promenade deck of the Salin Mariner. Outside the transparisteel windows, the churning chaos of hyperspace swirled and seethed. But inside, a quartet from Far Dostany was playing a stately waltz, while liveried attendants hovered around the three tables, bringing cocktails and trays of dainties.

“Mr.Rosada?” asked a young human female wearing the ship’s livery. “Your tablemates are already awaiting you, sir. And can I get you something from the bar? Perhaps a Corellian Reserve?”

“Splendid,” Hondo said, blinking sleepily. Finding his well-appointed suit to his liking, he’d arranged for a pedicure ―  the better to show off his gabberwool slippers―  and then enjoyed a long afternoon nap between shimmersilk sheets. “In fact, my blossom, let’s make it a double! I’m celebrating!”

“A double it is,” the attendant said with a smile, pulling out a chair at the center table. “And here you are, sir.”

Hondo settled himself in his chair and beamed at his tablemates ―  a blue-skinned, near-human young Wroonian female and a fat older male in a maroon overcoat; a balding, bearded and horned Gotal; a grumpy-looking Siniteen with beady eyes and a bald head that looked like an exposed brain; and a salmon-skinned Bivall wearing jeweled clasps on his swiveling eyestalks.

“A fine evening to you all, gentlebeings.” Hondo said. “I am Rondo Rosada, from ―  GREAT MOTHER OF QUAY, I AM BEING DEVOURED!” 

Hondo hopped away from the table, one slippered foot in his hand.

“Got your toes licked, did you?” asked the older Wroonian, chuckling. “Higgs and Twiggs were just saying hello. Come out, you naughty boys!”

He lifted the tablecloth and two long, green-furred heads appeared, purple tongues flicking at the air.

“Daddy loves his Kobarian swamp dogs almost as much as he loves me,” simpered the Wroonian female. “Higgsie and Twiggsie are show dogs ―  a wedding present for me and my fiancé.” 

“Worth a fortune,” her father said. “Part of my darling Pelf’s dowry. The marriage is arranged, of course ―  we’re not commoners.”

Hondo sat down again, waving away the attendants’ hands smoothing his doublet, and tucked his slippered feet safely behind the legs of his chair. His brandy arrived, and over appetizers he met his tablemates. The Wroonians were Pelf Pachoola and her father Fume, on her way to Botajef for her nuptials. The Siniteen, Sibs Monchan, was an entrepreneur who designed HoloNet interfaces, while the Bivall was Usk Haffa, who proudly proclaimed himself the largest owner of commercial real estate on Protobranch. The Gotal, Dix Tarfait, grunted that he was a small businessman and resumed a truculent silence.

“And what do you do, Rosada?” asked Fume, making kissing noises as he fed giblets to Higgs and Twiggs.

“Oh, I dabble,” Hondo said, signally for another brandy. “Import-export, shipping and, ah, personal acquisitions. It’s not much, but it’s enough to pay for the occasional pampering like this.”

“Don’t work myself,” Fume muttered, brushing a speck off his long coat. “Grandfather’s fortune spared me the indignity. Find the idea demeaning.”

“Speak for yourself,” grumbled Monchan without looking up from his datapad. “My firm, Monchantics, cleared half a billion credits in net profit last fiscal quarter. Our initial public offering hits the Mileva Stock Exchange next month. All the product of hard work and vision.”

“I obviously haven’t worked enough,” Haffa said. “You may feel pampered, Mr. Rosada, but I am not impressed by our accommodations. The cabins are practically threadbare, the holos are last month’s, and while the bottles say Corellian Reserve, what they’re pouring is Vasarian.”

“I like Vasarian,” the Gotal grunted.

“Agree―  this cruise is like camping,” Fume grunted. “At least we’re not losing the common touch.”

His tablemates chuckled and Hondo glowered at his brandy as attendants appeared with covered dishes. He decided not to assess the jellied gherks until informed of their deficiencies. 

Hondo realized his napkin was still on the table and swept it into his lap. It seemed like there were far too many forks ―  goodness, the table was covered with them―  and he peered over at Pelf, waiting to see which utensil she picked up. But she was warbling at her father about floral arrangements, while Haffa and Monchan were arguing about Trade Federation excise taxes. Nobody was eating, or showing any signs of doing so. Hondo’s stomach rumbled. 

Clearly this called for another brandy, whatever the quality.

---

The next morning, his cabin spinning, Hondo staggered into the refresher’s sanisteam, where he decided after some debate not to drown himself. He donned his green velvet doublet, searched half-heartedly for his missing monocle, and made his way tentatively to the Mariner’s Vista Walk, cringing at each shockingly loud greeting from various attendants. 

Outside the view ports, hyperspace was bright and nauseating. He checked to see he was alone and extracted his combination comlink and locator. The device was top of the line, designed to send an encrypted signal to Goru and the trailer ships.

Goru answered at once, and at a deplorable volume.

“Louder―  they might not have heard you on Coruscant,” Hondo said. “We’ll stop the ship tomorrow night―  after dinner, of course. Are the mass mines ready for deployment?”

“Yeah boss,” Goru said, more quietly this time. “They’ll haul ‘er right out of hyperspace. But we’s having trouble finding suitable medic uniforms.”

Hondo sighed. “Uniforms? Why do you need uniforms? Once you’re aboard the ship you’re allowed to be pirates! Paint one of the attack shuttles in emergency-response colors and memorize the script I gave you. You remember, the one about the quarantine on Phindar. Goru? Are you listening?”

“We could just blow a hole in the ship,” Goru said plaintively.

Hondo sighed and leaned against the viewport, thinking he’d rest his eyes for a moment. Then something hit him in the chest, sending him staggering into the path of an exuberantly fleshed Ruebeqni matron who honked in alarm.

“HIGGSIE! BAD HIGGSIE!”

“Am-Shak’s mattock! What fresh hell is this?” yelped Hondo, as the Kobarian swamp dog leapt on him again, leash trailing uselessly. His comlink flew out of his hand and Higgs snatched it from the air as Hondo fell on his backside.

“Higgsie! Sit this instant!” commanded Pelf.

Higgs belched and obediently settled on his haunches, while Twiggs began to lick Hondo’s face with long swipes.

“Twiggsie! Sit!” Pelf said. “The boys are just glad to see you, Mr. Rosada! And so am I! You were so funny last night! You kept pinching my cheeks and saying I was precious!”

Hondo rose shakily, offering the comlink-devouring Higgs a murderous glance. “Well, so you are, my little blue dumpling.”

Pelf tittered and shook a finger at Hondo. “ You said you wanted to kidnap me and hold me for ransom! I don’t think my fiancé would like that very much, Mr.Rosada!”

“Ah,” Hondo said. “Heh. You shouldn’t listen to dinner-party chatter― it’ll go to your pretty cerulean head.”

“Over dessert you announced you adored the entire table and planned to kidnap us all!” Pelf said. “That was before you decided it was time to speak to the band.”

“Speak to the band?” Hondo asked.

“Oh yes! You announced that if you had to suffer through another dull minuet you’d seize the helm and fly us into the nearest sun. Then you threw a stack of credit chips at the band and ordered them to play nothing but scrak and smazzo. You never said you could dance, Mr.Rosada!”

“I have been known to cut a rug or two,” said Hondo, wandering over to give Higgs an experimental smack in the ribs.

“I’ll say! You put on quite a show ― well, at least until you catapulted Dame Malitikis into the dessert cart. But the surgeon says her shoulder will be good as new.”

Higgs, tired of being thumped, growled at Hondo.

Hondo arrived as lunch was ending, his thunderous headache reduced to a dull throb by a late-morning nap and a carafe of caf. The banquet hall fell silent as he walked in, and the quartet missed a cue. Then the chatter picked up again and the musicians pivoted into a sunny waltz. Glowering, Hondo stalked to his seat. The Pachoolas were arguing about invitations, while Higgs and Twiggs snored contentedly in the aisle.

“Ah, Mr. Rosada,” Monchan said with a smile Hondo found slightly mocking. “Usk and I were just discussing union troubles. We figured a cultured businessman such as yourself must have an interesting take on employee relations.”

Hondo decided two things right then and there: He wasn’t in the mood to be mocked, and he was doubling the ransom on Monchan and Haffa.

“Get yourself a gundark,” he growled. “You want an established matriarch―  as in every culture, they’re the meanest. Take the trouble maker with the least talent and throw him in the hole with her while everyone else watches. After she’s torn off his arms, complaints will magically cease.”

“You’re speaking metaphorically of course,” said Dix Tarfait.

“Metaphors, bah―  I am a man of action!” Hondo said, bringing one first down on the table and making the excess forks jump.

The surly Gotal smiled showing his flat yellow teeth.

“I distribute liquor and spirits ―  my territory covers five sectors. A gundark would prove useful on sales calls.”

The female attendant appeared at Hondo’s side. “Mr.Rosada! What an eventful cruise you’ve had so far, sir!”

“Eventful? Heh! I’m just trying to keep things interesting,”

“We’ve arranged a surprise―  a holographic exhibition of Saffa paintings over dessert. Now don’t be bashful, Mr. Rosada! You did say on your passenger questionnaire that you were an expert on Saffa paintings!”

A waiter tripped over one of the swamp dogs, sending a tureen flying.

Monchan stared at Hondo. “Saffa paintings? Really? You don’t seem the type, Mr. Rosada.”

“Oh, I hate to brag. Humility is a virtue―  that’s what Mom taught me.”

“I’m sure.” Monchan said. He whispered something to Haffa, who smirked.

Three attendants guided in levitating terminals displaying shimmering paintings, all slashing lines and whorls and colors that made Hondo’s head hurt worse.

“Ooh, pretty,” Pelf said, peering at the paintings.

Hondo cursed whatever whim had brought Saffa paintings into his brain when confronted with the empty spaces of the questionnaire. But then the talk of art reminded him of an annoying Nouane philosopher Sabo had grabbed off a passing liner.

“Swamp dog got your tongue, Mr. Rosada?” asked Monchan. “Please enlighten us about what we’re looking at.”

Sabo had looked stunned when Hondo explained that fancy talk didn’t mean a being had two credits to rub together, while the philosopher’s babbling had proved so annoying that he really had wound up in a gundark hole. But what had been his name? Hondo couldn’t remember.

“Mr. Rosada?” Monchan inquired. “I asked if you recognized the period of this Saffa painting.”

Hondo decided to triple the ransom on Monchan.

“Your question, Mr. Monchan, reveals the difference between looking at art and understanding it,” Hondo harrumphed. “What period is this? What medium is that? These annoying little facts are not knowledge, or wisdom! They are just noise! Which is the opposite of appreciation! Pelf, look at this painting here. Tell me what you see, my delectable azure cupcake.”

“Um, it’s red? Red and green and squiggly! Is it a deek-pa-neek out for a swim?”

“Ha― there you have it, Monchan,” Hondo said. “A what-she-said out for a swim. That is artistic sensitivity ―  not your scavenger hunt for facts. You asked me to explain Saffa paintings and I cannot ―  for no one can! But I’m afraid Saffa paintings have done an excellent job of explaining you.”

Monchan blinked at Hondo, who folded his arms and leaned back in his chair, smiling.

Then Pelf began to shriek, arm extended, mouth a horrified O.

“Who is that?” she squeaked, pointing at a woman on the other side of the room in an elaborate orange dress that reminded Hondo of a carnivorous night-flower from Forlonis Minor.

“Why Miss Pachoola, that’s the Mariner’s apprentice pastry chef,” the attendant said. “She’s just bringing in the new dessert cart.”

“DADDY!” wailed Pelf. “HER DRESS! IT’S THE SAME DRESS AS THE BRIDESMAIDS’!”

The sleeve of Fume’s maroon coat was instantly wet with tears. He whispered something consoling to his daughter.

“NO, IT WILL NOT BE ALL RIGHT! A PASTRY CHEF ON A THIRD-RATE LINER IS WEARING THE SAME DRESS AS MY BRIDESMAIDS!”

“Apprentice pastry chef,” Hondo said helpfully, signaling for a brandy.

“MAKE IT STOP, DADDY! MAKE HER GO AWAY FOREVER!”

Higgs and Twiggs roused themselves and began to howl. Hondo plugged that ear with a finger and leaned across the table to Dix Tarfait. “Liquor distributor, eh?”

---

With Pelf still in distress, Hondo volunteered to take Higgs and Twiggs for their afternoon constitutional around the Vista Walk. The swamp dogs alternated snuffling at things and leaping on Hondo, who fended them off with Huttese impreciations while waiting for the steward to arrive.

Hondo decided not to kidnap Pelf― the thought of her shrieking in a cell on Florrum made his head pound all over again. But Tarfait would make a fine substitute. A liquor distributor, a Wroonian aristocrat, a HoloNet magnate and a real-estate mogul― yes, those four would do nicely. Now if only the idiot steward would shake a leg and ― 

“Mr. Rosada?” asked a young, goggled-eyed human in Mariner livery. “I heard your animal companion needs an emetic?”

“Urgently,” Hondo said, taking the vial and slipping the steward a credit. “Always eating things he shouldn’t! Higgs, you rascal― didn’t I tell you your tummy would get you into trouble?”

He wasn’t sure how one convinced a Kobarian swamp dog to take medicine, but the two beasts spotted the vial and started to yip eagerly. Hondo tried to remember which was Higgs and which was Twiggs, then threw up his hands.

“What am I, a veterinarian?” he asked, uncapping the vial and emptying it on the floor.

Higgs and Twiggs lapped up the emetic, then wagged their tails and licked their chops. Nothing happened for a minute or so, but then the two swamp dogs stopped swishing their tails, looking more puzzled than usual. A moment later, Hondo had retreated to the end of the leashes, eyes squeezed shut, while the other passengers were fleeing the Vista Walk as if a gang of Merson slavers had just smashed through the viewports.

Hondo opened one watering eye wide enough to spot his gleaming comlink in the mess regurgitated by Higgs and Twiggs, who hung their heads apologetically. He took a step forward, one hand fumbling in front of him, then began to gag.

“What do those people feed you?” Hondo gasped. “Mynock knuckles marinated in speeder lubricant?”

That was it: Fume and his valuable swamp dogs were staying behind too. Higgs and Twiggs digestive fluids might render half of Florrum uninhabitable.

Hondo spotted the horrified-looking steward on the other side of the Vista Walk, plotting his getaway.

“Don’t stand there like a stunned nerf!” he yelled, snapping his fingers. “Call Sanitation!”

“Did you hear that?” demanded Tarfait. “We’ve come out of hyperspace.”

“I’m sure it’s routine,” Hondo said with a yawn.

He was almost sorry that his time with his tablemates was ending. He’d spent the third day not fretting about forks, not allowing Pelf’s meltdowns to jangle his nerves, nor dissecting Monchan’s questions for concealed insults. Instead, he’d strolled the Vista Walk and napped and told Porla the Hutt stories and dined and had many refills of Vasarian, which he decided he liked just fine.

And now it was all ending, he thought, checking his cronometer.

Hmm. In fact, it should have started ending already.

Hondo excused himself and ducked into the refresher, where a doleful attendant in Mariner livery was stationed by the sink.

“Is the very concept of privacy extinct?” Hondo demanded. “Shoo!”

“It’s my job,” the attendant objected.

“Behold the miracle of opposable thumbs! That means I can wash my own hands and get my own Cardellian mint!”

A flung credit chip hastened the attendant’s departure and Hondo extracted his comlink― which still bore a disagreeable whiff of swamp dog stomach.

“Goru? What’s taking so long?”

“Mines fired as planned, boss,” Goru said. “But the captain ain’t allowin’ us on board. Think he don’t believe us.”

“If there’s one thing I dislike it’s a skeptic. Did you follow the script?”

“Well … some pages got lost, so me an’ Gwarm improvised.”

“What have I told you about improvising?”

Goru sounded alarmed. “Boss! Sector forces are inbound!”

Hondo sighed. “I’ll take the captives out in an escape pod.”

“But the diversion― “

“Oh, just blow a hole in the ship.”

---

When the Mariner shuddered, Hondo was ready.

“That was a missile impact or I’m a bantha cub,” he said, fishing his brandy. “Everyone follow me. Quickly and quietly―  let’s not cause a panic.”

Tarfait was on his feet. Pelf gasped and then clapped a hand over her mouth. Monchan and Haffa exchanged a worried look.

“Nothing to fear, gentles― everyone remain calm while I investigate,” He told the rest of the first-class passengers, then lowered his voice. “Make for the escape pods in the starboard companionway.”

To Hondo’s annoyance, Pelf clamped herself on to his arm, eyes wide with terror. Sensing her distress, Higgs and Twiggs began howling.

Hondo thumbed open the escape pod hatch. In the distance, he heard shouting and footsteps.

“Mr. Tarfait, follow me to freedom!” He said, seizing the startled Gotal and flinging him into the pod. “Monchan! Haffa! Make haste!”

“Eject into a combat zone?” Monchan asked. “Are you mad? I’m heading for the safe room at Junction Besh.”

“As am I,” Haffa said.

“No time to argue!” Hondo said.

“Agreed,” Monchan said. “So long, Rosada.”

“You’re right― take Miss Pachoola with you,” Hondo said.

“That screeching lunatic?” Monchan said over his shoulder. “She’s your problem.”

“I want off this ship!” Pelf wailed. “Women and children first!”

“Pelf my sapphire treasure― “ Hondo began, but Pelf had already scrambled into the pod.

Higgs and Twiggs began to bark. Turning, Hondo spotted Turk and Piit hustling down the passageway, pistols raised. Before Hondo could call out to them, they dodged around Monchan and Haffa.

“No! Stop those two!” Hondo yelled.

“No time, boss!” Turk yelled. “The captain’s handed out weapons! And Sector Patrol just came out of hyperspace. Run for it!”

Turk and Piit pushed passed him into the now crowded pod. Scowling, Hondo followed them. Fume, eyes wild, remained in the corridor with Higgs and Twiggs.

“Pelf!” Hondo yelled. “Stay with your father!”

“NO! DADDY! DON’T LEAVE ME!” 

“Let me out!” complained Tarfait.

“Turk!” Hondo yelled. “Hit eject!”

A frantic Fume shoved his way into the pod. Hondo tried to push him back out into the corridor, only to be knocked flat by Higgs and Twiggs, who pinned him down and began to lick his face.

“Turk, hit eject,” Hondo said with a sigh, activating his comlink.

The pod rocketed away from the Salin Mariner, then began to tumble.

“We made it!” Pelf screeched. “I hope Higgsie and Twiggsie don’t get space-sick!”

“Oh no,” Hondo said.

---

Hondo and Turk watched as the freighter disappeared into the sky above Florrum. The captain who’d delivered the Vasarian brandy had protested mightily when ordered to tak Fume, Pelf and two swamp dogs in addition to Tarfait, but an impressive number of guns aimed in his direction had halted his complaints.

“How many credits did we pay and how much time did we waste in exchange for eight cases of grog?” asked Turk disgustedly.

“Bah― math is for schoolboys and accountants, not dashing pirates like us,” Hondo said. 

“The girl’s fiancé said we could keep her. The old man said he’d rather die here than pay us. The swamp dogs ate ten kilos a day. And the Gotal lied about having money.”

“Hey he was rich enough to fetch eight cases of grog,” Hondo said. “Plus Mr. Pachoola was persuaded to leave behind this excellent overcoat.”

“I forgot about yer fancy garment,” Turk snorted. “Guess that makes this a triumph, then.”

“The difference between you and me, Turk, is that I am a boundless optimist,” Hondo said. “ Today, Florrum― and this coat, and this grog. Tomorrow, the stars!”

“Yer an optimist because yeh didn’t have to work Sanitation. Or clean up swamp-dog sick.”

“Try not to live in the past, Turk,” Hondo said. “It’s bad for your disposition.”

[sys128]

May 2023 is here!

Well, it is the start of a new month again, after having been so used to the fact that the previous one was in session. So, what is going to be in store for this month? One thing I did know for sure is that it started with rain! Cool, I like the rain. But that can happen on any old spring or summer day… The more I thought about it, the more I noticed what was going to happen this month. It is actually going to be decently eventful! It is not that surprising considering that I am going to be graduating soon.

This is the part of the year where more fun things happen, such as going on field trips and congratulating your fellow colleagues at school how well of a job they did on school work for the year, or on how much they TRIED to do work; depends. When this is mixed with graduation, then things can get VERY interesting. The first things I have to endure this month are my AP exams for Calculus and English. I could have taken the one on computer science, but by the time I found out that the computer science test was even a thing, it was already FAR too late. I have my tests on the 8th and the 9th of the month. From what I am hearing about AP exams, it sounds like it feels like purgatory in there. You are not permitted to tell the time at all, so you never truly know how much time you have left on a test before moving on to the next thing. And some of these tests can stretch on for multiple hours, so you better not be falling asleep during that period of time. Overall, I think I am gonna turn out okay by the end of exams, but not without some minor internal-clock and MAJOR boredom problems throughout.

But AP exams are likely to be the worst part about the month of May, because I am going to be rewarded with a bunch of cool stuff, just for being either a senior or smart at one point. I have an honors ceremony to attend on the 10th, where I am receiving… something related to college. I am not gonna expect it to be much, but something like a full-ride scholarship only happens with the top-dogs or whatever, and I am not THAT good. Probably like, a $2,000 scholarship tops.

There are three field trips that I am going to be attending by the end of the school year, and two of which are in May. They are both not terribly big but they are good enough to give free time away from any responsibility, and give some memories afterward. I’m all for that kind of thing. The first one is physics related, some sort of university-level physics lab not terribly far from here. This will happen on the 15th. The second field trip is a visit to a tech college, which is funny enough, one that I have already been accepted into and going to attend once I have the funds. This would mark the third time I visited that exact college too. The first was in 2019, and the second was early 2022, I think? I just know it happened twice before. This trip will occur on the 25th. The third field trip will leak into June, but I don’t care. I wanna talk about it still. This one is only occurring because I am a senior and I get to get spoiled by the school district administration… only joking. For real, though, this is a trip up north to a waterpark. These kinds of trips seem pretty common, actually. I was surprised to know that a bunch of people I know on Discord are also getting these same kinds of trips. This will occur on June 1st.

Back to the inside of school, the rest of the seems-fun stuff that will happen during this month is either not that big or expected, just some more interesting units, including a swim unit in my Phy Ed class, and a surprise in Calculus. I still am kinda peeved at my teachers for keeping it a secret. :/ Of course, there is also the graduation procedure, the rehearsal, the ceremony; seen it, done that – well, not yet, technically.

Other than that, yea, that is pretty much how my month is gonna go. The summer might either suck or be pretty chill. It depends on how I am gonna get the money I need to go to college. My mom wants me to work retail, but nah, I wanna be in a position where I can say “Screw that” and do something more enjoyable than retail. Thankfully, options are opening up, with the side effect of being done online, because my productivity is horrible online unless I have a drum and bass playlist in the background with minimal distractions. One of my friends wants to collaborate with me to make some stock videos like geometric animations and stuff like that and split the profits. It sounds like kind of a neat idea, but we would need to research good price-points and stuff, because they can’t be too cheap or too pricy. In case that doesn’t work out and I absolutely HAVE to do retail, then I want it to be something remotely tech related, even if it is still at a desk for a few hours to make sure a site doesn’t go down, because I don’t want to dabble into something that I am ultimately not interested in, such as fast food. My experience with fast food so far has been pretty rubbish. Managers can make or break the entire thing. This not only goes to fast food places, but also to retail stores. My parents also know that from experience. But I am only gonna be an 18-year-old who just got out of high school, and there isn’t gonna be anything like that. But there is one more option I could endeavor, which is just apply for more scholarships, which I was technically supposed to do this entire year, but I just didn’t for some reason, and got caught up still doing kid things.

That is for future me to get stressed out on. For now though, I should just try to enjoy the fact that I am living through what could potentially be the best month of 2023 thus far. In before this all ages horribly, things do a complete 180, and I go through some mental turmoil.

[jkaresearch]

I have to care about something important for me to do well on itZ

I need purpose.

I have been rethinking my path.

For a long time, grad school was my focus and since that didn’t really pull through, i gotta restructure myself

Ate is moving out, and my mom is out. Everyone i doing their own thing and I feel like I’m being left behind. Ive always heels ok bc my sister is here, e have never been apart before. And my mommy is still here. But once she leaves, i know i will feel like a freeloader and an outsider with the Albano famil an i will have to figure out my way out.

It’s scary because I’m growing up and i have to face it. I have to mature.

Ive been following my passion this whole time but reality is catching up to me and i have to prepare myself.

I got myself time with the scenic painting job. I’m gonna do that for this summer, but i think i will have to get a full time job after this

I remember i gave myself a window to pursue what i wanted after i graduated i interned at PES, artist assistance. But these are all freelance jobs and its not stable. I didnt have a job for like 3 months because of grad school apps and jobs doesnt always pop out of nowhere. I just got lucky bc i know so many people. I keep getting freelance job portunites thats why I’m till here. I think I’m gonna keep at it till after this year or after the scenic painting job.

But i already started applying to graphic design jobs etc. of course its super hard and challenging to actually land an interview and get the job. But I’m trying

I think I’ll open myself up to graphic design opportunities or scenic job opportunities i can make art fo tv and film. At that sounds fun . But tbh tech is where the money at, and i have to be realistic and open ymyself up to that.

So thats the plan.

—

I guess by biggest concern is my mental health. I think the only reason why ive been able to be so happy and heathy bc i am doing what i love.

But ive gone through an office job before and it sucks. I’m scared to be in that loop and have an unfulfilling life.

—

I’m kinda sad because I know my art jobs jobs are coming to a close. I can feel it.

I gave myself a window and i feel like it is closing.

Ive worked with mot of the people at PES, how’s many people can i go through and assist for. Thats how i felt the first time around, i felt like I ran through PES already and milked it. I feel like itt’llbe hard to top Damien and Lenny after this one.

But its ok. Things end. But i ill always be so proud of myself for pursuing the arts.

Maybe thats it. I will need a gd job to fund my arts. A lot of peoplee do that anyway

But no matter what i do. I will always be an artist.

-

So thats my options:

-graphic design

-scenic painting

-film/tv effects

-grad school.

But thats whata exciting! I have a lot of options!! I can do anything as long as its creative and i believe i will do well in it!

[jazthestampede]

month 0.

Smaller than a grain of salt.

It started on top of Neji’s raggedy, old, summer camp sleeping bag. All heat and mouths trailing wet kisses down necks, across collarbones, on hips; two pairs of briefs hitting the floor, a raspy, whispered yes, then a slick slide. He still doesn’t know exactly how they got there or when—must have been sometime after doing lines in Naru’s lap in the backyard, encouraging the other boy turn into his slutty alter-ego, and watching him give the new kid in town a lap dance so thorough that he thought he saw one of the town’s resident bottle-blondes shove a twenty or two in the front pocket of those tight-ass shorts Naru loves to wear.

Seventeen days later, his nipples are sore and he’s nauseous when it hits him. They didn’t use a condom. He has no idea when his last cycle was beforehand.

So, what does he do? He makes an emergency run to Konoha. Naru will know what to do.

 Naru, does in fact know exactly what to do and say to soothe his frazzled nerves. He doesn’t have a problem slapping the two garish, pink boxes that will tell him if his life is over—one as a pre-test, and the other final—on the counter along with the money, giving the cashier the finger, and rolling his eyes at her as she judges him.

Meanwhile, Gaara’s just trying to ignore the eyes burning twin, bug eyed holes into the back of his head. It’s not working so well. But he’s always been a master of the art of diversion.

“Fuck’s her problem?” He says to Naru once they exit the store.

“Hell if I know,” Naru says, shrugging his shoulder, “her mama can’t stand me, and I guess the apple don’t fall far from the goddamn tree.”

He lets out snort a snort and replies, “That’s so sad. You’re a fuckin’ gem, Naruto Uzumaki.”

Naru gives him his signature million-watt grin, “Ditto, Gaara No-Last-Name.”

It never fails to amuse him how Naru has heard his last name plenty times and still hasn’t figured out that it’s his.

When they get to the car, Gaara opens his mouth and asks, “Wanna go see Kiba for a lil’ bit before I get outta here?”

Naru tilts his head to the side, hand frozen on the door handle, “I thought you came to spend time with me?”

Gaara rubs his neck as he gets into the driver’s seat, “Don’t get me wrong, I did.” He says, tone apologetic, “But I gotta be back before six-thirty ‘cause my mama gotta be somewhere before seven and her car’s in the shop.”

Naru nods and ducks into the passenger’s seat, shutting the door with a quick slam, “Let’s do it.”

“Plus, I gotta go rescue Kankuro, Kiba’s mama look like she eats lil’ punk kids for breakfast.”

Naru laughs, something that never fails to cheer Gaara up. “She ain’t gonna eat him,” Naru says, “that’s Kuromaru’s job.”

Gaara cranks the engine and grins at Naru, “Like hellI’m finna miss that. So, where am I headed?”

“When you get to the end of the lot, make a right, keep straight, and it’s two blocks over. It’s the place with big house, a big sign, and all the dog toys in the yard. Sign says, “Inuzuka Kennels” on it.”

“You got it, boss. Kankuro drove in, and I was sleep most of the way, so I don’t know where the hell I’m goin’.”

***

The car ride is short, maybe five minutes with the midday traffic but Naru fills the car with loud music and a slew of questions. Gaara tunes most of them out with generic answers, because Naru asks him stuff all the time and won’t remember it twenty minutes later. But the boy asks one that cuts through to him.

“You gonna be okay?” He says with a look so soft and sincere it almost makes Gaara want to cry and hurl up the egg salad sandwich he ate before he got here.

Gaara decides to answer him honestly—not that he ever really lies to Naru, “Don’t know.” He says, “Guess I’ll find out soon enough. Naru nods and leaves it at that as he points out where to turn into the driveway.

And if the knot in the pit of Gaara’s stomach somehow loosens then tightens back up, well that’s his own business.

***

Hellcat practically barrels Naru over the second he says his hellos to everyone in the house and waves Gaara inside. Naru hugs his boyfriend back like he hasn’t seen him in years, when really, it’s only been a day or two. Gaara rolls his eyes, He hopes he never gets that lovesick.

Kiba’s mom is a delight, though. She pulls him into a gentle hug when she walks into the kitchen to greet them properly, then offers him a hielito from the refrigerator freezer. As he sits at the small, kitchen table, eyeing the kitschy decorations on the wall and focusing his attention on the can of Money House Blessing air freshener, he almost forgets about the black grocery bag with those two pink boxes inside on the car seat. Almost.

***

“So what’s in the bag, baby bro?” Kankuro asks once they’re on the freeway, leaving humid and hazy Konoha behind and heading into the perpetual dust storm that covers Suna.

See, Gaara might never lie to Naru, but he doesn’t mind lying to his older brother at all. “Remembered I was outta pads. Figured I should grab some before mommy leaves.”

 Kankuro sniffs, but doesn’t make a face like he does when Temari mentions needing personals. “I would’ve taken you to get some before we got home.” He says, squinting at the road. “I don’t mind.”

Gaara sucks his teeth, “And have to sit there and watch you suck the life force out of your boyfriend? I’d rather watch paint dry.”

“Jesus, you wound me.” Is the last thing Kankuro says for the rest of the ride, too busy focusing on the road. He even has the radio turned all the way down so he can see better. Gaara snorts, maybe he should mention that Kankuro needs glasses to his mom.

Their house is less than five minutes away from the freeway, tucked into one of those fancy, wannabe gated communities where only half of the houses are built because the construction workers can’t work when the dust storms kick up too badly. Which means they just take the whole summer off, lazy bastards.

Kankuro pulls into the driveway and Gaara grips the plastic bag so hard it might rip. It’s not like his parents can see through it, and he can stash it under his bed until he’s ready for his life to be over…So why is he so nervous?

“How was your trip out, honey?” his mother asks the second they walk in the door and past the living room.

“Good.” He and Kankuro answer in unison, Kankuro heads into the living room and Gaara shoots up the stairs before she can ask anything else.

Two lines. Four, if you count both tests glaring back at him from the bathroom sink.

He’s fucking pregnant.

Nami wraps him up in a hug and he feels himself getting light headed. Fucking pregnant, he thinks, whose gonna take me seriously now?

[angelatmidnight1]

Sheesh, say less queen! I don't remember half of the topics in that reblog even though i literally just read them, because its late and currently i have the memory span of a goldfish, so I'll just word-vomit real quick and hope I don't cringe about it in the morning.

I'm not sure if this is gonna be that big of a surprise for you, but you and I have actually interacted a lot through these asks, and if I'm honest your blog is probably the reason i even have tumblr at all. Your writing is supreme, it literally never fails to brighten up my day, and the fact that there's such an amazing person behind it all is literally the cherry on top of the cake.

I've said this a crap ton of times before, but you strike me as a very kind person with an even kinder heart. At some point, I've even thought about dming you to just talk and maybe see if you'd wanna get on apex together or something, but I forgot about this little detail where I'm just very fvcking shy so i never did any of that haha.

N e way, I hope Obi is doing fine as well and actually at this point im beginning to wonder if you have any idea of which anon i am... you probably do lol.

Anyway, I know you've been busy with your teaching job, so good thing summer break is almost around the corner. I've been busy with college myself, this year I'm working as an artist for a 3d game project and it's going by a little smoother than it went last year, but again I don't wanna jinx anything.

I've also been very busy trying to juggle all that with personal art stuff... I've been working on a couple of illustrations I'll be giving to my brother and some friends of mine for their birthdays and I'm excited about that. I've realized that I actually really love making people happy through kind and unexpected gestures, so thinking about their reactions is really what's fueling my inner artist haha.

Anyway, that was a ramble and a half, but this time you quite literally asked for it so... you're welcome☺️😜

Omg, thank you so much! I did ask for it but your response made my night. I’m a bit speechless, so I apologize if my response isn’t as long, but…I really am flattered 😊

Also, I’m really shy too so I think I know where you’re coming from but if you ever wanted to play Apex or just chat, please don’t hesitate to ask. I’m like…90% sure which anon you are, and if you want, I could send a dm to the one I think is you as a guess lol, but no pressure.

Obi is fine and I have 14 days left or the school year before I’m home free 🙌 Just a little bit longer…I hope your art project goes well and you find the time to relax too, cause that’s super important. But yeah, thanks so much! ♥️ This was definitely a great surprise.