#I’m having as much fun rereading them as I had the first time

[steddieunderdogfics]

This week’s writer spotlight feature is: @lady-lostmind! lady_lostmind has 84 works in the Stranger Things fandom and 55 of them are in the Steddie tag!

@oh-stars recommends the following works by @lady-lostmind:

This Is The Coin I Had In My Pocket The First Time We Kissed, And I Always Have It.

Transfixed (under your spell)

Fuck

You know what to do, when it gets hold of you.

The Wall

"Mack is one of the best writers in this ship and I am so very lucky to read their work early on. Her Eddie voice is unmatched to me!! Every time I read a new fic of hers, I'm always shocked at how she can outdo herself with creating my next favorite fic. She's fearless in trying new tropes and genres, exploring super serious topics and she has some of the hottest scenes I've read. Every opportunity I have to read or reread her work is an absolute pleasure and I am so honored to get to see her flourish!" -- @oh-stars

Below the cut, @lady-lostmind answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!

Why do you write Steddie?

I’ve been reading fanfic since I was a teenager but I never felt the urge to write my own until watching these two together. I think we can all agree there was some undeniable chemistry between the two on screen and they have such a fun dynamic to work with. I’ve always enjoyed creative writing in some shape or form whether it be for a class or writing lyrics for the band I was in, or the half abandoned novel I have in my docs. I decided to give fanfic a shot and then really loved getting to actually be a part of the community instead of lurking on the edges and leaving kudos anonymously like I had for years. But there is something so special about Steddie in particular and I’m especially drawn to writing Eddie in particular. His character has so many layers to explore and different directions to go and I love making him fall in love with his golden retriever of a man over and over again.

What’s your favorite trope to READ?

I am a sucker for a good slow burn, especially with some hurt/comfort thrown in. Please rip my heart out, stomp on it, pick it back up, and hand it back to me wrapped in a pretty little bow.

What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?

Honestly, the same as what I read. As much as I love a good fluffy one shot there’s nothing quite like the sweet torture of dragging your characters through hell before they get their happy ending. It’s so fun trying to navigate what they would do in difficult situations, and how that affects the story overall.

What’s your favorite Steddie fic?

This is such a hard question. There are so many good fics out there. We’re truly well fed in this community. I think some of my absolute favorites have to be You’re Divine by oonionchiver, and The most remarkable thing about you standing in the doorway is that it’s you by greatunironic. Both of them inspired me to do a lot of fanart including a bind and cover art for You’re Divine, and drawing all the album covers in TMRTAYSITDITIY.

Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?

I never really know what I’m going to write next until it smacks me in the face. But I’m definitely open to whatever that might be. I will say I’ve never ventured into the omegaverse in my writing but it does seem like a fun one to play around with.

What is your writing process like?

Chaotic. I love writing but have a hard time actually sitting down and focusing on it. I either write a huge chunk all at once, or I write a sentence at a time while watching tv or something. I do really enjoy writing with other people though whether that’s in a sprint or word game.

Do you have any writing quirks?

If I have music on while writing it can’t have any lyrics in it or I get too distracted.

Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule?

Oh, a schedule is generous, I’d say. But I do prefer posting chapter by chapter. I feel like people engage a little more as they read each one and I love getting the feedback as I go.

Which fic are you most proud of?

And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife. I think my writing grew a lot during that fic and I’m really proud of the work I put into it. AYMFYIABHWABW was also the first thing I ever wrote for an event and was a big step for me to actually put myself out there and talk with other authors and artists. I made some amazing connections through that event and am so glad I pushed through any self consciousness to ask for a beta reader because I found an amazing one in oh-stars and gained a great friendship through that. They introduced me to karadanverss when the two of them were looking for some help modding the Stranger Things Reverse Big Bang and I not only gained another friend, but got to dip my toe into being a mod, something I never would have even considered doing before, but have had so much fun being a part of as we set up other events together. So I think because of all that, AYMFYIABHWABW will always hold a special place in my heart.

How did you get the idea for This Is The Coin I Had In My Pocket The First Time We Kissed, And I Always Have It.?

During a rewatch of New Girl. Nick Miller is honestly such a mash up of Eddie and Steve, and I could not get the idea out of my head to Steddiefy the scene in the hall where Nick says “Not like this.” It screams hopeless romantic Steve to me, and the title is a line Nick says to Jess way later and it never fails to make me cry. So, I started with that. Just wanting to do a similar situation with Steddie, and it morphed into something much bigger than I intended.

When writing You know what to do, when it gets hold of you., what was something you didn’t expect?

I thought I would have a harder time with Steve’s POV in this one than I did. I really wanted to show a side of him that I feel gets overlooked a lot since he’s always throwing himself in front of everyone else when there’s danger. But what happens when that danger isn’t there anymore? What does he do with that? It’s a side I hadn’t explored much before and I was really happy with where that took me. I really liked getting to see where Steve’s mind would go when the group is seemingly safe.

What inspired Transfixed (under your spell)?

Transfixed was written for the Steddie Summer Exchange! So I actually had this prompt: ‘Popstar Steve and rockstar Eddie having a secret relationship whilst the public and their own band mates think they hate each other.’ to go off of for it. This prompt screamed angsty, hurt/comfort so I was really excited I snagged it in claims.

What was your favorite part to write from You know what to do, when it gets hold of you.?

I think it has to be the scene where Steve finally breaks down. When Eddie figures out what has been going on and Steve just lets it all out. If there is one thing Steve Harrington deserves, it’s a good fucking cry.

How do/did you feel writing The Wall?

The Wall was written for Steddie Love Month with the prompt: Love is letting yourself be loved and if that didn’t scream insecure Steve I don’t know what does. I remember feeling very bittersweet while writing The Wall because I know what it’s like to be afraid to let someone in again when you’ve been hurt, and how good it feels when you finally let that wall down and accept that risk because it’s worth it. I tried to capture that feeling as best as I could.

What was the most difficult part of writing Fuck?

Fuck was another Steddie Love Month prompt. The hardest part of writing this one was just trying not to cackle to myself about how ridiculous Eddie was being. This one was a lot of fun to write.

Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?

Oh my. I think it either has to be the first scene I wrote for AYMFYIABHWABW that sparked the entire thing: Steve is staring at him, eyes wide and rocking a little on his heels like he’s so nervous he can’t stay still. Eddie’s stomach drops, his mind spiraling through a million worst case scenarios all at once. “What’s wrong? Is Wayne– Are the kids okay? Is it–” Steve holds his hands out in front of him and shakes his head. “Fuck, no. Sorry. No. It’s not–” Steve sucks in a deep breath, his hands shooting up into his hair before dropping to hovering in the space between the two of them. “Eds. I fucked up. I so massively fucked up. I can’t even begin to–[...] This feels like a fucking fever dream. Like something he’s imagined a million times over. Awake and asleep, In every possible scenario and position. All the times he fucked men in bathroom stalls and or pressed them against a wall in a dirty alley, this is what he wanted. And he was right. None of it even comes close to being this. This is…it’s everything. Fuck– it’s everything." Or this scene from You know what to do, when it gets hold of you where Steve finally gets to breakdown: Steve shakes against him, his tears wetting the shoulder of Eddie’s shirt. “I’m sorry.” Eddie shakes his head. “It’s okay.” He rubs his hand up and down Steve’s back. “Hey, you’re okay. We’re going to figure this out, okay?” Steve sobs, his hands fisting into Eddie’s shirt a broken “Sorry” slipping out of him again. Eddie’s arms tighten around Steve, and he struggles to swallow the lump forming in his throat, tears welling in his eyes. Can’t help the way his heart breaks a little at the sorrow in Steve’s voice. How vulnerable he sounds. Because Steve Harrington isn’t vulnerable. Steve Harrington dives into lakes with portals to another world at the bottom without a second thought. Steve Harrington rips other dimensional beasts apart with his teeth. Steve Harrington marched into battle calmly, and confidently. Steve Harrington carried Eddie out of a hellscape on his fucking back. Steve Harrington is the rock. He is the one everyone leans on. And Eddie knew. He knew something was wrong. He knew something was going on. But it’s one thing to know it, and another to see your hero crack and crumble in your arms.

Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?

The Eddie Munson Big Bang! Definitely keep an eye on our tumblr (@eddiemunsonbigbang) to see all the amazing fics and art that will be coming out. I’m one of the mods over there, and I’m working on a fic for it that I’m really excited about. If this is posed before the end of September…we’re still looking for artists!

Outside of these questions, Is there anything YOU would like to add?

I’d just really like to thank anyone who has ever taken the time to read my fics, or like any of the fanart I’ve made. I never expected anyone to really see any of it when I first started all this and have really loved finding a community to be a part of. I never had any friends who were really into fandoms or fanfiction, and up until I started engaging in Steddie content no one in my life even knew I read it. Getting to talk to, and make friends in this community gave me the confidence to talk more about what I’m interested in and connect more with the people in my life. So, thank you all for showing me how to be loud about the things I love and that I don’t have to hide parts of myself away!

Thank you to our author, @lady-lostmind, and our nominator, @oh-stars! See more of lady_lostmind's works featured on our page throughout the day!

Writer’s Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!

[shrimpscrawling]

I always forget that Ronan was so chilly with Blue in the beginning. I know they don’t interact a whole lot in the books generally, but he was so pissed about her tagging along in that helicopter

[nereidprinc3ss]

come on home

in which the only person who can comfort you after your breakup with spencer reid, is spencer reid

inspired by the song "summer's end" by the artist currently known as phoebe bridgers

wc 2857

warnings: gn!reader (correct me if im wrong), minor mommy issues, angst, happy ending

a/n: thank you to the person who requested this:) u r an angel and I listened to this song the whole time i wrote (if you haven't heard, listen!!) i sincerely hope you enjoy, i like this one a lot<3

She hung up on you. 

Forty-seven minutes of being insulted and berated after you’d called her looking for comfort, and you put up with every single cruel word—just for your mother to hang up on you. And it’s exactly the kind of thing she’d do, so you shouldn’t be surprised. An ache, you’d expect—but it shouldn’t sting like this. You thought you knew better. 

Now you’re in a ball on your couch, clutching your phone to your chest and crying. There’s no point hiding it. Your roommate is out with her girlfriend for the evening—which is too bad because even though you feel like being alone, you’re sure that’s the wrong call. Your other friends are out having fun tonight, too. They’d even invited you, but you turned them down. Look where that had gotten you. Obviously, your mother is not the person you’re about to run to for comfort, either. 

You try to pretend, while you’re thinking of all these people who have ever cared for you, that Spencer Reid isn’t on your mind at all. You try to pretend like you don’t care that the person who loved you until you believed you actually deserved it is a contact going stale deep in the bowels of your text cache. With bleary eyes you scroll down, looking for your conversation where it gathers dust—the end of your relationship was a mutual decision, and you’re friendly, but you haven’t texted in a few weeks. Probably because every time the conversation starts to feel a little too easy, or the phone call lasts a little too long, that aching void in your chest gets worse and worse. Like pain in a phantom limb, you become acutely aware of what you do not have and how much it hurts.  

So blame it on the tears, or the mind-muddling melodrama of your relationship with your mother, blame it on anything but the truth—when your thumb drops on that call button like the plunger on a syringe, you don’t regret it.  

What you’re not expecting is for him to answer after the first ring. 

“Hi,” you say with a snuffle before Spencer can get a word in. There’s a brief interlude, in which you pick at your nails, comfortable to just sit in silence if that’s what he wants. As long as he’s there. 

“Hi.” Hearing his voice instantly melts a bit of the weight you hadn’t realized you were carrying. Another pause, for which you remain silent, because you can feel him formulating a question—and you’d like to hear him speak again. “...am I allowed to ask if you’re okay?” 

Your lips purse and twist to the side, pained and comforted by how easily he can tell that you’re distraught. One word across a tinny connection, and he knows. 

“No. Yes. I mean... I guess that’s why I called you. But you don’t have to ask me about it.” You sniff again and take a deep breath. “How was your day? What state are you in?” 

“I’m in the district,” he answers after a moment, easing into a casualness that he likely doesn’t feel for your sake. Wind crunches through the speaker. He probably just got out of work. “My day was... it was good. I got to talk about my job to a bunch of elementary schoolers, which is always a confidence boost.” 

You chuckle, still laying on your side on the couch and watching storm clouds gathering outside. 

“Nice, nice. What else?” 

“Let’s see... I forgot lunch, so I had three oranges, and they were actually pretty good. I reread Game of Thrones—I don’t know why I did that. I’m never going to like that book.” 

“Masochist,” you smile. He laughs, and you hear the sound of a car door opening. 

“Oh! I talked to my mom. Believe it or not, she says hi.” 

A completely inadvertent snort constitutes your response. It’s not what you meant to do, and out of context it’s sort of mean, but you actually think it’s incredibly endearing that he still talks to his mother about you. He scrambles to explain himself. 

“I swear, we barely talked about you this time. Mostly we talked about her new boyfriend Leonard.” 

“No, no, that’s not... I’m sorry, I’m not laughing at you or your mom. That’s really sweet, actually. Tell her I say hi too.” 

When he next speaks, you can hear the smile in his voice. 

“I will.” Another long pause. You imagine him sitting in the parking lot at Quantico, keys vertical in the ignition of his old car and feeling the silence just as much as you are. He surprises you by not ending the conversation—instead he asks a question. It is concern, poorly disguised with nervous humor. Or maybe you just know him too well. “Do I get to find out what’s on your mind, or are you leaving me in suspense here?”  

You bite the inside of your cheek. 

“Um... well, actually, I just got off the phone with my mom, too. It didn’t go so well,” you laugh halfheartedly, “I know it was dumb to try and have an actual conversation with her, but... you know me. Always following blind optimism to the depths of hell.” 

“Why’d you call your mom?” he asks, so gently it brings a fresh round of tears to your eyes. Still, you attempt to put a cheerful affect on your strained voice. 

“Mm, you know. Just needed someone to talk to.” 

Spencer’s knowing sigh does little to make you feel better. 

“You know you can always talk to me, right? I know it’s... it’s different now, but... I care about you a lot. And, you know, I receive very few phone calls, so the line is pretty much always open.” 

Your laugh quickly devolves into a cry. 

“I appreciate that, but I can’t talk to you about everything.” 

“Why not?” he pleads immediately, voice thin and desperate like it’s his most burning question. A million lies dance over the tip of your tongue. A million things that feel safer to say than the truth. But in the end, it comes out anyway—choked, and so quiet, but aloud nonetheless. 

“Because I’m trying really hard to stop missing you so much.” 

Another long beat of silence. The back of your throat feels dry and hollow—a cage for your hummingbird heart. 

“If it hurts too much to talk to me, you don’t need to do that to yourself. But I also don’t want you to hurt yourself thinking you’re alone. You are... so important to me. I will always try to take care of you the best I can—whether that means staying away or being at your front door. If you ever need me, or even... vaguely want me, I will be there.” 

Each word caves your resolve. Each syllable is a slap in the face to progress you’d been pretending to make. You can be strong—you've proven that over the past ten weeks. You can be stone-faced and slash at your heart until the scar tissue is thick and jagged, and eventually it won’t hurt anymore. But maybe, by letting someone tend to the wounds, they’ll heal a little nicer. A little kinder. Even if you can’t undo the damage, maybe one day you’ll be soft again. 

“What if I vaguely want you right now?” you sniffle. 

Finally, you hear the silver jingle of keys turning. The sputter and rumble of an old engine coming to life. 

“Then I’m on my way.” 

Twenty four minutes later, there’s a soft knock at your door.  

After the call had ended, you’d wondered if you made it all up. Surely your ex-boyfriend wasn’t actually about to show up at your apartment. Someone you’ve grieved for can’t just come back—there are countless horror novels and movies based upon that very tenet. Does it matter if they ever actually died? How long is ten weeks, really? It feels like a lifetime. 

You shuffle across the room, wiping under your eyes with your already damp sleeves, and undoing all the locks Spencer had conditioned you to start using. When the door cracks open, and you see Spencer standing there, windswept and concerned, for the first time in months, it hits you like a tidal wave. You are, beyond a shadow of a doubt, still just as in love with him as you ever were. The relief that floods your veins as he looks down at you with so much care in his eyes is like sinking into warm water. It’s a dead giveaway, and maybe it makes this whole thing a terrible idea, but you can’t seem to care very much. You open the door wider, and he enters, and he stands in your kitchen with his hands in his coat pocket as you shut the door and he’s perfect. It dawns on you that for the first time since the breakup, you feel safe. Like you don’t have to be a stone pillar anymore. This, of course, translates into even more tears, which you try to hide as you face away, re-locking the door.  

“Sweetheart...” he sighs, because you can’t hide anything from him. Hearing the resonance of his voice so close to you once more is overwhelming. In an instant you’re rushing into his arms, and he accepts you without hesitation. You bury your teary face in the vetiver safety of his button-up and slip your arms under his coat, as if you could absorb his warmth and forever hide from the world that way. He pulls you even closer. It’s terrible and cruel how much he is exactly what you needed. “What’s wrong? What did she say?” 

You shake your head and gasp a small sob. 

Truthfully, you’re not really crying about the petty insults from your mother anymore. You’re back to square one, the reason you’d called your mother to begin with—you miss the man whose arms are currently wound around your shoulders. 

His hand smooths over the back of your hair. 

“Okay. That’s okay. We don’t have to talk about it.” 

You stay like that—content even as you cry because being with him feels so much safer than being alone. It feels right—or perhaps it’s just familiar. You don’t know which is worse.  

Spencer is rubbing soothing lines up and down your back as you cling to him, soaking him up in all his ephemeral, comforting glory. He surprises you by chuckling—it vibrates through his chest, buzzing against your ear. 

“Nice Magritte print. I bet the person who bought that has fantastic taste.” 

“Are you gonna ask for it back?” you mumble into the fabric of his suit jacket. He is, of course, referring to the painting you’d more or less stolen from his apartment seven months ago. You really don’t want him to take it home. It’s the most overt Spencer memorabilia you’d allowed yourself to keep in plain sight. 

“No, baby. You can keep it.” The words are low, and kind, and they settle you some, but you can’t seem to get him close enough. “What can I do?” he whispers after a moment, helpless as you take a shuddering breath. “Can I make you tea? Have you eaten?” 

“Will you just... stay for a little bit? I’ll—I promise I’ll stop crying.” 

There is an unexpected lull where you thought you’d receive pretty immediate agreement, but before you can pull back and ask what’s wrong, he murmurs, “yeah. I can stay for a while. But you have to kick me out before it gets too late.” 

You wonder if you’re imagining the double-entendre that seems to underline his words in bold red ink. Spencer is too smart to have not noticed a thing like that. You don’t mention it—it all boils down to the same unspoken idea. 

Don’t let me stay, because I might not leave. 

“I will,” you sniff, finally stepping back and wiping your own tears. It hurts to lose his touch, but at least you know he’s not going anywhere for the next few hours. This, as opposed to everything else lately, can be a beginning instead of an end.  

At least, until he goes home. 

Three and a half hours later, after tea, an impromptu dinner comprised mostly of cheese and crackers, and several vinyl changes on your record player (which served only as background noise for your long, ambling conversations), things are seeming to wind down to a natural stopping point. Which you hate. The whole time you’d had a dull ache in your chest because talking to him was easier than breathing and you knew it wouldn’t last. There had been one or two false bottoms already—the first when you’d yawned around nine, and the second when you’d gotten up to do your skincare and brush your teeth half an hour later. Even then he’d just leaned against the doorframe, watching your reflection above the sink as you talked for fifteen more minutes. Now you stand across from each other in the kitchen, plates restacked and everything in order. Of course he’d insisted on helping you clean up. 

“I should go,” he says, with a soft sort of finality in his voice.  

“Is your carriage turning into a pumpkin?” you tease gently, to hide how much you don’t want him to leave. He smiles—a small, weary thing—but genuinely and endlessly charmed by you. 

“That among other things.” 

“Would you—would you walk me to my room first?” 

The hesitance is clear in his eyes and the way his lips part as if to say, ‘I don’t think that’s a good idea’, but you're sure he’s really going to leave in a moment and you’re also sure he won’t deny you this one small thing before he does. 

“Okay.” 

It’s a short, silent walk through the living room and down the hall to your bedroom door, but you can feel him trailing behind you the whole way. You stop in front of your open door, turning face to face with him.  

“Thanks,” you murmur.  

His lips pull into a melancholy smile. 

“Anytime.” 

There’s nothing left to do but wrap your arms around each other once more, tuck yourself into the you-sized space between his head and shoulder and hold on for as long as he’ll let you. The hug lingers for longer than is wise. Spencer adjusts his arms looped around your waist, pulling you closer, and you nuzzle against his neck, grateful that at least he seems as reluctant to let this end as you are.  

But eventually, it relaxes. Your hold on each other loosens. His face is just inches from yours, and you get to study every plane and valley and line like you’d thought you never would again. It seems he’s doing the same—losing himself in the luxury of seeing you up close. 

“Will you kiss me goodnight?” you whisper, unable to muster any self-consciousness though you know it’s a fool’s errand. Spencer strokes your waist. 

“I can’t do that, honey.” 

“Why not?” 

His voice is just as quiet as yours. It falters slightly as he speaks, so gently, so patiently. 

“Because we’re not together anymore.” 

“Why not?” 

Your feeble, desperate supplication sounds pitiable even to you. You’re not proud, but you can’t find it in yourself to be ashamed, either. All you want is an answer. But it’s like a child asking why the sky is blue, or the earth is round. There is a definitive explanation, but mostly, the adult will shrug, and say, that’s just how it is. 

Spencer’s eyes squeeze shut. His head tilts down. 

“We can’t do this again, sweetheart. You know why we’re not together.” 

In theory—yes. You’d had so many conversations when you’d broken up. It had been a long, painful process, spanning multiple all-nighters at his kitchen table, nursing coffee and trying to convince each other and yourselves that it was the right choice. But it just feels like a horrible, horrible mistake. You feel desperate to explain this to him before he slips away again—the words come out flustered, inelegant as you cling to him.

“But I don’t think I’m getting better without you. I tried, I tried so hard to be good on my own, but everything is worse and harder and—and we weren’t sure about it then, and I don’t think it was the right choice, because I still really need you. Like, all the time. I’m—it’s not getting better without you. Nothing got better.” 

He swallows, eyes darting between yours for an infinite second. You’re breathless and your heart is pounding after your confession—you can feel your eyes stinging with the few tears that managed to escape as you spoke. 

“Everything is worse,” he agrees shakily. “Everything. I’m—I’m getting disciplinary infractions from Hotch like I’m a child because I can’t focus on anything. Game of Thrones is the most complex literature I can comprehend right now. I had to use a calculator the other day.” 

You want to laugh, but nothing is funny until he’s yours again. 

“Then come back. Please come back, Spencer.” 

Finally, he leans closer, until your heads are pressed together, and his nose bumps yours, feather light. You're dizzy. You exhale. He inhales. 

“I don’t think I knew how to leave in the first place.” 

When he kisses you, it feels like home. 

[lilacs-stars]

aiming for your heart

this is part 1, read part 2 here! pairing: james hook x fem!reader (requested) (note: reader is glinda the good witch's daughter) SUMMARY: you agree to a tutoring session with your pirate classmate, but things end up taking an...unexpected twist. GENRE: pure fluff, a bit of banter CW: nothing much, just mentions of societal pressures WC: 7.9k (they just keep getting longer...)

A/N: I decided to finally do something cute and fluffy after days of working on dark angsty stuff and this felt like a much-needed breath of fresh air. it was so fun to write, so thanks to the anon who requested this for the fun idea! <3 please give me feedback and suggestions, I'd love to know your thoughts!

Up, swish, circle, flick. Up, swish, circle, flick. Up, swish, cir—

“Ahh, oww!” you cry out as a very solid metal object collides with the side of your skull. Your hand instinctively goes up to the spot on your head—which you can already feel starting to swell—as you wince in pain. 

You’re supposed to throw the ring in the basket, not at my head, idiot, you think to yourself as you grimace. 

“Oh my gosh, Y/N, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to hit you, I swear!” you glance around the room, locking eyes with your classmate just a few tables away, whose wand is still poised in their hand and a bewildered expression planted on their face. “I just can’t seem to control…this gosh darn wand…”

You let out a little sigh, trying your best to not be impatient. After all, you couldn’t expect everyone to be as experienced in this field as you are. 

You glance back at the student, who’s rereading their textbook pages for what’s probably the tenth time. As you watch them struggle, a pang of guilt hits you for being so mean and irritable. It’s not like they were trying to hit you, and even though it was just a thought passing through in the privacy of your mind, you still feel as though thinking something mean like that is wrong. 

You push your chair back and rise from your seat, wand tightly gripped in one hand. Walking over to your classmate’s desk, you give a small smile as you ask them, “Need any help?”

They look up at you with wide eyes. “Oh, yes, please! Enchantment of Magical Objects is literally the hardest class ever!”

You grin again, keeping your demeanor light and friendly, like always. “Okay, so first, you go up, then swish, then circle your wand back around, and finally flick, and then…”

You copy the movements with your own wand as you speak, small magical sparks flickering off it at your gestures. After you complete your little demonstration, you both watch as a hand-sized sleek metal ring, somewhat resembling a circular horseshoe, levitates off the desk and neatly lands in a bucket in the center of the room. 

Today’s assignment in your Enchantment class is to use the Aiming Spell to throw the rings into a bucket. Safe to say, it wasn’t really going well for most of the class. 

“Wow, that was amazing! You’re so good at this Y/N!” your now starry-eyed classmate exclaims. “And I can barely get my rings off my desk…”

“Don’t worry, you’ll get there,” you smile reassuringly. “After all, I’ve had a lot of experience around wands and enchantments.”

“Yeah, I suppose that is right. I guess not everyone can be as talented with magic as the Good Witch’s very own daughter.”

A small laugh escapes your lips, and you bid farewell to your classmate as you make your way back to your seat. They aren’t wrong, after all. Your mother, Glinda, taught you how to use a wand as soon as you could walk. You’ve been watching her use magic for ages, so it’s not a surprise to anyone that you’re top of your class. 

You sit back down, getting back to work. Even though you know you’ve already mastered the spell, you still have some class time left, which you decide to use wisely and continue practicing the spell. 

Staring at the pile of metal rings in front of you, you take a deep breath and begin the task of making each one levitate off your desk and make a perfect arch towards the basket. 

Up, swish, circle, flick. Up—swoosh!

A flying ring shoots straight past your face, barely missing you by only a few inches. You stumble backwards in your chair, quite startled. Still, it isn’t unusual to see objects flying around the classroom, or rather, objects flying where they’re not supposed to.

A moment later, another one whizzes past you again. Then a third, which gets so close to your face that you can feel the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. Annoyed, your head snaps to your right, trying to figure out who keeps nearly decapitating you. 

You glance around, finally locking eyes with what seems to be the culprit. Chair leaning against the wall, tipped back on its hind two legs, sits a figure with deep brown eyes and smokey eyeshadow look to match. A smirk is planted on his face, a mischievous glint in his gaze. He wears a dark red jacket on top of a black dress shirt, the collar disheveled and his tie loose around his neck. Contrary to his tousled outfit, his medium-length brown hair is neatly slicked back. One of his hands leisurely holds a wand while the other rests behind his head, and combined with the way he has a leg crossed over the other, one would think he’s enjoying a nice day at the beach instead of sitting in class at one of the most prestigious academies in the land.

You fix him with a look, your gaze subconsciously morphing into a glare as he jerks the wand up, causing one of the metal rings in front of him to levitate a few inches off his desk. With a flick of the wrist, he sends it flying across the room once again. Having learned your lesson, this time you duck down, eyes following the disk as it soars across the room. You watch as it shoots straight towards its target, who expertly crouches as the metal ring hits the wall behind him with a thud, falling to the ground and joining the previous disks.

The target of these attacks is a boy you recognize to be a good friend of the ring-throwing troublemaker, with light brown hair brushed away from his forehead and dressed in a dark green shirt with a black choker around his neck. Morgie le Fay shoots a glare across the room to his perpetrator, making a face that could only mean “You’ll pay for this later.”

Another disk comes shooting at his head, and he ducks down yet again. This time, the metal hits the wall so hard, you worry it left a dent. Unable to take their child-like behavior any longer, you get up from your seat for the second time and stomp your way over to the disk-thrower.

“Hook!” you say as you reach his table. The man in question tilts his head towards you, looking up with an amused grin.

“To what do I owe the pleasure, lassie?” he replies, his accent crisp and unmistakable. 

You fight the urge to roll your eyes at him, knowing it would be terribly rude, even if he was getting on your nerves like no other. You settle for fixing him with another look. “Could you please stop hurling those disks around? It’s not the assignment, and you practically hit me!”

“My apologies, love,” Hook replies, still peering up at you, unbothered. You honestly doubt he means it, so you frown and try again. “I’m being serious, Hook.”

“As am I,” he replies, making you want to smack that stupid smirk off his face. Deep breaths, deep breaths, you remind yourself. Violence is never the answer. You find it funny how you can almost hear your mother’s voice as you repeat those words in your head, the ones she always tells you.

“So you’ll stop?” you ask, raising a brow and putting your hands on your hips to show him you’re not messing around.

“Ah, well, you see,” Hook starts, and it takes every ounce of benevolence in you to not internally combust at whatever excuse he’s planning to come up with. “I’m having a tad bit of trouble with this spell, love. No matter what I do, I simply can’t seem to lock on to the right target.”

At this, you raise your eyebrows again, disbelief laced through your every cell. “Why don’t you give it a go,” you say, jerking your chin towards the basket in the middle of the room. “You never know until you don’t try.”

Hook leans forward in his chair, righting it again so it stands on all four legs. He raises his wand, and if you didn’t know any better, you would think he’s actually concentrating on the task at hand. One of the metal disks rises into the air, levitating a meter above the floor.

Hook flicks his wand forward and the disk sails away, missing the basket in an almost laughable attempt at execution. Instead of the proper target, it lands on the edge of a file cabinet in the far corner of the room. You pray for the poor soul that will inevitably open one of its drawers, only to be smacked in the head by a piece of solid steel.

Eyebrows raised, Hook unabashedly turns back around to face you with that grin of his. “So how was that, love? Satisfied?”

“Not quite,” you huff, shaking your head at him. “Honestly, I haven’t seen anyone make such a…uh, interesting attempt at this assignment.” Deep down, a little part of you really wants to say much meaner things, but you bite back your words, knowing that showing contempt never did anyone any good.

“Interesting, eh?” Hook’s smirk grows, and you can see him already scheming inside that villainous little mind of his. “Say, Y/N”—he uncrosses his legs, leaning in your direction—“you’re the top student of this class, are you not?”

You narrow your eyes at him, but refrain from saying anything you know you’ll later regret. “Yes, and?”

“Well, as you can clearly see here, I require a bit of assistance with this assignment. After all, not everyone grew up waving wands like you,” he quips, flourishing the wand in his hand as if it were an ordinary stick. Abruptly, he stills his movements and drops the wand on his desk, before turning to face you directly, locking eyes. “Would you be so kind as to teach me a few things?”

You quirk your brows, albeit attempting to keep a straight face. “Are you asking me to…tutor you?”

Hook grins yet again. “This evening, 7 o’clock, the common area in the East Wing.” He puts his hand on his knees as he gets up, now leering a few inches above you. Still holding your gaze—although he has to tilt his head down to do so—he asks, “I’ll see you then?”

You blink twice, mind replaying the events that led to you getting yourself stuck in this situation. On the one hand, you definitely don't want to have a one-on-one study session with a villain—and an annoyingly smug one at that. Honestly, the few interactions you are forced to have with him in class are far enough for you. 

But on the other hand, he is asking for help to improve his grades…after all, it’s not every day someone the likes of him shows interest in learning. Plus, you know that it’s not right to turn away a person in need of your help, no matter how insufferable they are. Especially if they’re always flashing you a smile filled with shining white teeth and full, plump pink lips.

A sigh escapes your mouth before you can stop it as you resign yourself to your fate. “Alright, I guess. But come prepared to learn. That means you need your wand, your textbooks, notebo—”

He cuts you off with a passive sweep of his hook, much to your annoyance. Leaning in just a little closer to you, enough to make your palms slightly sweaty, his face tilts down even nearer to yours. “It’s a date, then,” Hook says, his voice soft but still with that teasing tone it always seems to carry.

“It’s not a date!” you call out as the bell rings, but he’s already making his way out of the classroom, sauntering off to do who-knows-what.

Heavens, what have I gotten myself into, you think, placing a hand on your forehead as you breathe out a long, heavy sigh.

The evening rolls around far too quickly for your liking, and before you know it you’re making your way out of your doom room and up a set of stairs.

You keep on thinking about how you had ample time to back out of this arrangement; plus, you would be lying if you said you didn't consider it a number of times. But each time, you remind yourself that you are doing a good deed for someone obviously in need of a good influence. That you have to be selfless and put aside your personal feelings to serve a good cause, as all heroes do. That your opinions don't really matter—after all, the best heroes are the ones who make the deepest sacrifices, right?

So that’s how you find yourself dragging heavy feet across a corridor, a tiny voice in your head begging you to turn around, as you finally reach the common area set as your meetup spot. You glance at your wristwatch, which reads 6:55. You had decided to leave a bit early so you could arrive with a few minutes to spare. As your mother always reminds you, “It’s better to be an hour early than a minute late.”

Pulling out a chair at a nearby two-person table, you sit down, plopping your bookbag next to you. You had stuffed it full of your personal notes, your wand, and several textbooks you thought could help Hook. 

Tapping a pencil on the wooden desk, you sigh, glancing at your clock again. 6:57. Thinking back on your previous decision, you wonder why you left so early. After all, you have Hook down in your mind as the type to be extremely unpunctual. Leaning back in your chair out of sheer boredom, you start to clearly picture Hook showing up a good hour late. Heck, you’d be surprised if he even shows up at all. 

The clock hits 6:59, and you begin to debate how long you’re willing to stay here before giving up and returning to your dorm. Would ten minutes be enough? Fifteen? Thirty? The more you think about it, the more you can imagine this being some sort of elaborate prank to trick you. After all, why would a delinquent villain like Hook ever be interested in planning a tutoring session?

You sigh once again, angry at yourself for being so naive as to fall for his little trick. Drumming your fingers on the table as you put your head down, you mentally punch yourself for your gullibility. 

Which is why you nearly jump out of your own skin at the sound of a loud thud sound from in front of you. You jerk back into your chair, arms flailing as it tips, causing you to nearly topple backwards. With your reflexes kicking in, your hand latches onto the edge of the table—thankfully—and you manage to pull yourself back to a more stable position.

Hand clutching your pounding heart, you roll your head back to be greeted with that stupid little smirk that haunts your thoughts. “I didn’t mean to give you a fright, love. After all, we were planning to meet up, were we not?” Hook says, tone extremely smug and a tiny bit pitiful at your frightened state. 

You raise your arm and flick your wrist, reading the time displayed on your clock. 7:00. He…he showed up exactly on time, you think, praying that your shock isn’t displayed on your face.

As if he can read your mind—and in all honesty, maybe he can—Hook says, “You didn’t doubt me, now, did you, darling? How could I skimp out on our little date?”

“It’s not a date,” you tell him once again, not even trying to hide the annoyance in your voice this time.

“Whatever you say.” Hook gives a little grin as he raises his eyebrows for a second. Before you can continue to argue, he pulls out the chair across from you and sits down. You eye a small black leather satchel that dangles from his hook as he drops it down on the floor. Huh, he even came prepared.

He leans in, arms resting on the table, as he fixes you with a sly grin. “So, Miss Teacher, what are you going to teach me today?”

You hate to pass on the opportunity to make a snarky remark, but you know that rubbing Hook the wrong way is not going to make these next few hours any less sufferable. Instead, you simply go for a “How about you start by getting out your materials?”

“As you wish, m’lady.” An irritated sigh escapes your lips, and you realize you’ve been sighing a lot more than usual ever since you got in this…predicament. You watch, somewhat impatiently, as Hook reaches down and draws a single notebook and his practice wand out of the leather satchel. Glancing at his materials, then back at yours, you realize that you came a lot more prepared than he did, even though you’re not the one trying to learn here. Well, I guess him putting in some effort still better than nothing.

You pull out one of the thick textbooks from your bag, the used animal skin cover peeling at the edges and the pages yellowed from the wear of time. 

“First, we’re going to get started with the theory of enchantments and spells.” You flip through the pages until you land on the first of many detailing the basics of spellcasting. “Even though we’re going to be focusing on the Aiming Spell, the underlying principles are pretty much the same for all spells you use. Now, you see here, highlighted in the chart are the five main…”

You chance a glance over at Hook, voice trailing off when you realize he isn’t listening. In fact, he's not even looking at the textbook placed in the middle of the desk. Instead, his gaze is fixed on…

…you?

“Hey! Why are you staring at me like that, you weirdo!” you exclaim, pulling back from the table. Hook remains unflinching, his chin in his good hand as he stares up at you with a sparkle in his eye. 

“I’m sorry, I can’t help it, love. You’re just so…so entrancing.”

You blink hard, recoiling at his words. He’s not flirting with you…is he? No, there’s no way. Don’t be overly arrogant, you convince yourself. This is just his personality, how he usually acts. The same way he calls everyone “love” and “darling.” There’s absolutely nothing more to it than him saying anything he can think of to fluster you and throw you off track.

…Right?

You ignore the stupid little flutter your heart does at not just being called pretty, or beautiful, or any of the normal compliments. No, you aren’t normal, you’re entrancing…

Snap out of it! you internally scold yourself. This is just another one of his little antics. You’re just letting him win by getting in your head. 

“Look, I didn’t come here and set aside this chunk of my valuable time to tutor you, only for you to not listen. If you came here to mess around—” you rant, but you’re cut off before you can get everything off your chest.

“I apologize, lassie. I promise, I’ll focus from here on out,” Hook vows. You eye him with a glare, feeling very distrustful, but you’re only met with his rather sincere gaze.

You let out another breath, once again regretting agreeing to this. “Fine. Get out your notebook. You’re going to want to take notes on this.”

Hook nods and reaches into his satchel, which is still lying on the floor. “If I’m being completely honest—which I assume you must hold in high regard, being a hero and whatnot—I really didn’t expect you to be so…irritable.”

You shoot Hook another glare, before realizing that you’re just proving his point. You give a brief roll of your eyes as you attempt a smile. “I’m not usually like this,” you say, fighting to keep a decently pleasant expression on your face. “You just really find a way to, how should I put this, you really—”

“Push your buttons?” Hook finishes for you, raising his eyebrows.

“I was going to say you really find a way to get on my nerves, but that too,” you respond, with obviously forced cheerfulness. “Whatever, we need to get back to studying. For real this time.”

Hook replies with an “Of course, m’lady,” before you begin your lecture again on the foundation of enchantments. This time, he makes sure to periodically glance down at the textbook pages and occasionally nod or ask a question, all to ensure that you don’t catch him staring at you again. Unbeknownst to you, adoration shines bright in his eyes as he studies your features, committing them to memory every time you’re not looking his way.

You spend some time going over theory with Hook, until you can feel him growing restless, causing you to start wondering if people like him have a capacity for how much information they can absorb at one time. Deciding that theory is no good if it’s not put to practice, you slam the textbook shut once you reach the end of a page, standing up.

Hook looks up at you, a slightly startled expression on his face. “Come on,” you say. “Now we’re going to see how much you paid attention by putting your lesson to good use.”

You hope to see a look of fear flash across his face, but his demeanor stays completely even. Feeling a bit let down, you remind yourself that he still has to actually cast the spell. Watch him mess it up, you think. Let’s see how smug he is then, huh?

Reaching down into your bookbag, you pull out a small bundle wrapped in a piece of cloth. You open it to reveal a handful of metal disks, similar to the ones you had used earlier in class. You empty them out on the table before walking over to the middle of the room and placing the cloth down on the floor, a good number of meters away from your table. “This is your target area,” you explain. “Stand by the table and get those rings to land within the borders of the cloth.”

Let’s see how well you fare now, pretty boy.

“Aye, that’s not fair,” Hook says, scrunching his brow as he gestures towards your setup with his hook. “That cloth’s much smaller than the basket we used in class. And the distance is far greater.”

“Well, if you learn how to get the spell right with tougher constraints than the requirement, you’ll be sure to do great for the real thing.” You flash him a wink as you watch his jaw part slightly, an incredulous expression painted on his face. “That’s how I always ace my exams.”

Hook draws in a breath, putting his ever-famous smirk back on his face, although you can feel his unease this time. He picks up his wand, turning around to point it at disks on the table. 

Up. He rolls his hand upwards, and one of the disks starts to levitate a foot in the air.

Swish. Hook jerks his wrist to the side, causing the disk to start gently vibrating with potential energy. 

Circle. He rotates his hand counterclockwise, drawing a circle with the tip of the wand.

Flick. You watch with bated breath as Hook flicks the wand towards the cloth in the middle of the room. 

Both of you follow the disc’s arc through the air with tense anticipation, as it soars, soars…

…and ends up missing the cloth by a good three feet.

Hook gives a small, halfhearted laugh, trying to keep up the suave facade. Yet you notice the way his shoulders slump forward, the way his body stiffens in an embarrassing shock. 

Part of you feels a wickedly twisted satisfaction at his failure—but as soon as you recognize it for what it is, you shove it away, repulsed at the thought of you even coming close experiencing such an emotion. Plus, the majority of you feels rather disappointed at the undesirable outcome. Whether it’s Hook’s chagrin rubbing off on you, or the voice in your head whispering that you, as his teacher, failed at your job, you can’t help but feel a bit let down at his messing up.

“Hey, it’s fine. Let’s try again,” you say softly, your usual eager-to-help manner coming back at the sight of someone needing comforting.

And so, Hook tries again. And again. And again.

Finally, after the seventh or eighth try, he puts the wand back down on the table. “I don’t know what to tell you, love. No matter how hard I try, it’s simply not working.” You sigh, looking at the floor before you, which was now littered with disks. “Hey, at least you got closer each time! That’s still progress.” You attempt to raise his spirits a bit, but he just fixes you with a look that tells you he’s not one to fall for your false positivity.

“Uhm…” You hesitate, not quite sure what to do next or how to fix this. “How about you see how I do it, and try to copy that?”

Hook gives a small nod and you fish out your wand, pulling up your sleeves and taking a deep breath to prepare. Focusing on one of the disks on the table, you start the particular movements. Up. Swish. Circle. Flick!

Both of you watch in somewhat astonishment as the ring curves perfectly through the air, flying with grace, as it lands directly in the center of the cloth.

Hook looks at you with raised eyebrows. Although that little part of you wants to rub it in his face, the fact that a hero, out of all people, bested him, you decide that torturing him with your teasing is only going to make him less likely to get the spell right.

“You see that? Now, try to copy it yourself,” you instruct.

And so, Hook makes a few more attempts, landing closer to the cloth each time, now only a couple inches away—yet never actually making contact with it.

You study his movements carefully as he casts the spell, trying to figure out what he’s doing wrong. After a few more of his failed attempts, you decide to try a different approach.

“Okay, watch me do it again, but this time come hold my wand from behind so you can get a feel for how I cast it,” you say, glancing up at Hook. “After all, it’s all in the wrist.” You recite a line your mother always says, one that often replays in your mind as you cast a spell. In your opinion, her guidance is the main reason that you’re so good at spells.

You’re still sitting down in your chair, pushing it in a little to provide room for him to come up behind you and reach your wand. 

You were expecting Hook to get rather close; after all, there aren’t many ways for two people to hold the same wand in the position you were in without a tight proximity. What you weren’t expecting was the way he comes up from behind you leisurely, deliberately. The way his chest presses into your back as he leans in, arm brushing against yours as he extends it towards the wand. The way you can feel his exhales on your skin, breathing down your neck—literally—causes goosebumps to rise up and down your arms. The way his natural aroma engulfs you completely, overwhelming your senses all at once. How his large hand feels on yours as he places it on top, curling his fingers around the wand—and yours, as well. The way you can feel the smirk dancing on his face, looking down at you with what you expect to be half-lidded eyes. 

And the way your heart races, good heavens. If you didn’t know better, you would have thought you just ran a marathon. Your body simultaneously heats up and freezes at his touches, no matter how small, your mind becoming overly aware of every point of contact you have with him. You fight against the overstimulation flooding your senses, resisting the urge to wipe your sweaty palms on your legs, while hoping that the wand doesn’t slip out of your hand as perform the incantation. 

Truth be told, although you definitely won’t admit this to anyone: you really haven’t had much experience with romance, or anything of the sorts. All your life, you’ve focused on doing good deeds and keeping up with your studies, aiming to be the best of the best in the hero world. Which is probably why no boy has ever taken interest in you; instead of going to dances or out on dates, you've always spent your Friday nights locked away in your room, studying hard to make sure you ace your exams. Plus, with your goody-two-shoes streak, you aren't exactly the most sought-out person in your class.

Which is why with the way Hook flirts with you, and now, the way you can feel his inhales and exhales against your skin—subconsciously trying to match the rhythm of his breathing—your brain is short-circuiting. The lack of romantic attention you’ve received your whole life is behind why you don't know how to react to Hook's antics, while still internally freaking out at his movements and words.

You inhale a shaky breath, trying to steady your quivering hand and hope that Hook doesn’t notice your reaction. But after the amused little hum he gives, your embarrassment grows by the second. Trying your best to focus on the task at hand, you say, “Okay, here goes.”

Up. You feel Hook’s grip tighten around your hand, just a little bit but still enough to make your heart skip a beat.

Swish. The disk vibrates with extreme intensity, to the point where you’re afraid it’ll break apart, despite the metal structure.

Circle. As you circle your wrist around, you feel Hook’s arm rub against yours even more, causing your breath to hitch in your throat. Gods, the things this man is doing to you.

Flick. You flick the wand towards the cloth yet again, jerking your head sideways to follow it as it flies across the room. Agonizing in how it ignites every nerve in your body, you feel Hook’s head brush against the top of yours as he follows your movements, watching the disk soar.

It seems, for a minute, as if it’s going to land right on top of the previous one. But to both your shocks, it falls just outside the borders of the cloth, barely touching the edge.

Your face absolutely burns in embarrassment, palms dripping with sweat now. Hook tilts his head towards yours—which you feel all too well—as he says, far closer to your ear than you would’ve liked, “Well, it seems like even the master makes mistakes, love.”

Fuming, you finally give into the urge and drop the wand to wipe your hands on your clothes. Screw him, you mentally curse. It’s all his fault. I’ve never messed up this spell before.

And as much as you want to blame him, you know that it’ll do you absolutely no good to tell him the fact that he was so close to you made your brain short-circuit to such an extent that you messed up a spell you could do since you were five.

You shake your head, refusing to accept your failure. “No, I…I don’t know what happened. It must have been a faulty disk. Just…I’m going to try again.”

Hook raises his eyebrows at you—or at least, you’re pretty sure he does, as you can’t see him from behind. You grab your wand again, and without even telling him to do so, Hook leans in and places his hand back over yours, your fingers trapped between his and the wand.

Internally, you find yourself growing impossibly more annoyed at him. Honestly, did he really have to go back to that position, the one that made you mess up the spell in the first place? You take a deep, steadying breath, forcing away all thoughts of Hook and how his dark brown eyes, beautiful and rich like the bark of the trees back in Oz, are boring into your skull right now. You simply can’t afford to get distracted again. Messing up the spell once is one thing—sure, everyone makes mistakes, don’t they? But twice? It would be absolutely inexcusable.

Twice would mean that you are not as adept as you thought you were, not talented enough in the one thing that you've been sure of for your whole life.

Remember the words.

Up, swish, circle, flick!

Fueled by your self-directed rage, you ensure that every movement you make is precise, sharp, and without a single tremor going through your hand. This time, the disk slices through the air with a clean, aerodynamic curve, and lands…

…right on top of your first one.

You beam, regaining your former confidence in your spellcasting abilities.

“The master may sometimes make mistakes, but they’re still the master,” you gloat. “Now come on, you need to practice till you get as good as that.”

You and Hook spend quite some time on practicing the spell, with you giving him pointers and him—surprisingly—improving. It seems as though your hands-on demonstration really helped him, as his skills greatly improved. 

Soon, in every set of ten rings he practiced on, he was consistently getting six or seven of them within the boundaries of the cloth, with one or two more landing on the edge, half-in. 

After one round where he managed to get nine of the disks touching the cloth—his personal best so far—you decide he needs something even more challenging.

“Woah, that was a really good round,” you praise. Hook turns to face you, and if you didn’t know any better, you would say that his normal smirk seems a little less snarky and a little more…genuine. 

“Still not as good as you, though, love,” Hook replies. You can tell he’s trying hard to maintain his nonchalant front, especially when it comes to academics, but the pride in his eyes and the earnest grip on his wand tell a different story. Honestly, you like him better this way. Less of him pretending to be a bad boy villain, and more of his real personality.

And in this moment, as you subtly study his features and think about his change in behavior over the past few hours, a thought that’s never even come close to crossing your mind suddenly pops up. What if villains, just like heroes, feel pressured to uphold a certain facade? The same way that you’ve always felt like you just have to be good, no matter the cost, no matter how hard it is for you, maybe villains feel the same way. Maybe they believe they always have to be bad, troublesome, and cruel. Even if that’s not who they truly are.

And through the lens of your new insight, you start seeing Hook in a different light. Just like how you feel as if being good and helpful and cheery all the time is a burden, how sometimes you wish you could just let loose and be selfish, maybe villains feel like being evil is a burden. Maybe Hook feels compelled to act smug and suave, even though that isn’t who he truly feels like being all the time. 

You begin to feel a deep sense of guilt for judging him based on his demeanor and criticizing his performance in class. Reflecting back, you realize that you had been unnecessarily harsh on him for something that is likely beyond his control. Gosh, I'm such an idiot, you think, shame burning your cheeks.

Shaking off your remorse, you put on another bright smile and try to respond as cheerfully as possible. “Hey, it’s still a huge improvement from sending the rings flying on top of a filing cabinet in the corner of the room. Or at innocent bystanders’ heads!” This time, you don’t encourage him because you feel pressured to do so, or because that’s who you know you’re supposed to be. You do it because deep down, in your heart, it’s what you feel like saying.

“Hmm, true,” Hook replies, angling his head to the side as he considers your point, the smallest of smiles still dancing on his lips.

“Now, for your final test.” At your statement, Hook raises a brow. “You need something different, something truly challenging. Something to prove your mastery of the Aiming Spell…”

You rack your brain for ideas, but nothing comes to mind. After a moment in silence, Hook speaks up. “I may have an idea.”

Glancing over at him, rather surprised—you were the teacher, after all—you gesture for him to go on. 

“Go stand over there by that wall,” he instructs, motioning with his hook to the wall opposite you two. “And put your hands up.”

Your eyebrows shoot up, fixing him with a look of wariness and doubt. You don’t move for a second, still too distrusting of him as you try to imagine what standing in that position has to do with casting a spell. Noticing your hesitation, Hook nods towards the wall again. “Well, go on, love.”

Still suspicious of him, you cave in and walk over to the far side of the room. Pressing your back against the wall as you raise your hands up, the position makes you feel as if you've just been caught red-handed in the midst of a crime. Hook still stands by the table, waiting patiently. You try to think back to the textbook pages you went over with him, wondering if you had accidentally taught him some sort of attack charm that he was planning to use on you.

Feeling your anxiety build, you wriggle your left fingers, wrapping your thumb and middle finger around the base of your pointer. You always wear a special, very pretty ring on that hand, a gift your mother gave to you a few years ago. Fiddling with it while twisting it around and around helps to soothe you, especially when you feel nervous.

But this time, when you go to repeat the same movement you always do, you feel the absence of the familiar metal surface and engravings etched into it. Glancing up at your hand, you confirm that your ring is indeed missing. The only trace of its former presence is the two parallel, circular indents in your skin from wearing it for so long.

Your panic skyrockets now at the loss of one of your favorite possessions, practically forgetting about Hook and the unease that accompanied his bizarre request. That ring had come with a special message; the night you got it, your mother had told you, “Remember when you were younger, and I told you that people are either good or bad? Well, that’s not quite true. No one is really black or white. We’re all just shades of gray. Some people are lighter gray, and some people are darker gray. And although we might be different shades, we all fall under the same color. Remember that, Y/N.”

And you have remembered it. Every time you go to toy with your ring, those words echo in your mind. Your mom had embedded the ring with a marble featuring a swirl of many different shades of gray, a reminder of the message that came along with it. You were too young to truly understand her words back then, but now, especially in these recent moments, you think you’re starting to fully grasp what she meant.

Snapping back to the present, you realize the serious problem you have at hand. “My ring!” you cry. “I could have sworn I had it when I came here…”

“Looking for this?” Hook’s smirk is back in full force. His left arm is raised, and on the crest of his polished metal hook, your precious ring glimmers under the golden lights projected from the ceiling.

“You…! When did you even…” your voice trails off as your mind catches up to your mouth. It must have been when he leaned in, while you were demonstrating the spell. That was the only time he had gotten close enough to you, although you don’t know how in the world he nicked it off your finger without you having the slightest hint.

Then you remember, quite painfully, how flustered you had been in that moment. If you were so distracted that you couldn't even cast a simple spell right, then you certainly wouldn’t have had enough brainpower to notice a skilled thief steal from you.

“Hey! Give that back!” you exclaim, huffing angrily, a frown etched deep into your face.

“I will, darling,” Hook replies smugly. “Now, raise your hands up again. And don’t wiggle your fingers around this time.”

“Give me my ring back first!” you demand, your previous annoyance towards him coming right back.

“Let me do this first, and then you’ll get your ring. Hands up.” At your glare, Hook tilts his head to the side and gives you a look. “Don’t you trust me?”

Well, of course not, is the first thought that pops into your mind. You’re a liar and a thief, and above all, a villain.

But then you remember your mother’s words, your earlier revelation and how, just for a moment, you glimpsed Hook through a different light. So, although you definitely won't go as far as saying that you trust him, you still empathize with him enough to give in to his request.

Wordlessly, you raise your hands back up to your sides, palms facing in front of you, while fighting the urge to fidget again. You debate whether or not it’d be best to close your eyes for this, but you ultimately decide that if Hook does try to pull any more of his little tricks, all your senses should be sharp and aware.

And so you stand, frozen, as Hook raises the wand. For a second, you think he’s going to cast the spell on you. But instead, he uses his good hand to remove the ring from where it’s stuck in his hook, instead placing it dangling from the tip. He points his wand at the ring, repeating the maneuvers you two practiced so many times.

Up. The ring lifts off his hook and levitates just in front of him.

Swish. It starts vibrating like the disks, but due to its small size, your cherished ring begins to rotate on its axis.

Circle. With Hook’s circular movement of the wand, the ring’s spinning accelerates, locking on to its target—whatever that is.

Flick. For one final time, Hook flicks his wrist, this time towards you.

You watch, your heart pounding as fast as ever, as the ring—your ring—curves through the sky as it falls, getting closer and closer to you. You slam your eyes shut for just a beat, unable to bear the anticipation, before remembering your earlier rationale again.

Eyes flying open instantly, you regain your vision just as the ring falls, falls, falls, landing…

…directly on your finger.

But not the finger that you previously wore it on. Your eyes widen again in disbelief as it slips perfectly around your ring finger.

“Uh…I…uhm…” you stammer, confused and shocked and overwhelmed with far too many things at once to form a coherent sentence. How in the world did he cast such a precise Aiming Spell, in a situation where it wouldn’t have succeeded had he been even a centimeter off? And if he was so precise with his location pinpointing, then why in the world did he put it on your left ring finger??

“Come on, spit it out, love,” Hook replies teasingly. “You can say it, don’t be afraid.”

Your mind is working far too hard for you to shoot him a glare, but you mentally do it anyway. “That was…impressive,” you finally admit, although you wish you didn’t when Hook’s smug grin grows twice as wide. Ugh, his ego is already big enough. I did not need to inflate it like that.

“Could you always cast the spell that well?” you ask, still stunned at his precision. You honestly couldn’t see how anyone who had been sending disks flying all across the room a mere few hours ago was now casting spells with the accuracy of someone who had been doing this for years.

“Why, of course not. You saw how I was earlier.” Hook’s grin grows even wider as he adds, “It’s all because I had a wonderful teacher.”

You still frown at him skeptically, walking back towards the table where he stands. “I highly doubt it’s because of that. I mean, I don’t know if even I could pull something like that off with such little practice.”

At this, Hook gives a little laugh. “What do they say, the student exceeds the teacher?”

You roll your eyes at him. “No, they call it ‘beginner’s luck.’ You should be happy you got it right this time, because you might not get so lucky on your exams.”

Hook grins again, and as much as you detest the pleasure he gets from teasing you—and though you’d never admit it—a small, dark gray part of you enjoys the playful banter between you two.

“That’s why I have you, darling. If I ever need more help, I’ll know who to run to.” He leans in close to you, so close, until his mouth is right next to your ear. You start having flashbacks to your previous experiences with Hook being in a close proximity, and the combined feelings from both your memories and his current actions causes your body to heat up in a way you didn’t even know was possible. 

He tilts his head down ever so slightly towards you, his lips feathering across your ear. “And you won’t be able to get out of helping me, my little goody-goody.”

Your mind is absolutely spinning at his words, his touch, his presence, his everything. You desperately struggle to formulate some sort of response, but just as you open your mouth, ready to question his choice of ring placement, a deep, low horn sounds, reverberating off the walls.

Curfew.

Hook breaks away from you as you glance down at your wristwatch. The clock shows exactly 10:00. Gods, how did the time pass by so quickly?

You glance back up at Hook, deciding to ignore the way he so alluringly whispered in your ear just seconds ago. “Well, uh, we have to get going, then,” you awkwardly say, scratching at your neck.

Hook stands there for a moment, staring at you whilst completely motionless, making you wonder what he’s thinking and what he’s planning to do. Just as you’re about to bid him a goodnight and turn away, he reaches his good hand out, grabbing your left one. He holds it delicately in his hand, his palm cupped upwards with your fingers resting gently on top.

Slowly, and while keeping his head up just enough to maintain eye contact with you the entire way down, he bends into a bow in front of you. Only does he avert his gaze when he finally reaches your hand, looking down at your ring, which still sits on your ring finger, as he places a kiss on the bright stone.

He peers back up at you, deep brown eyes wide and expressive.

“Until we meet again, m’lady.”

on to part 2! ->

taglist: @4ng3l-ch1ld @astrynyx @0strawberrysorbet0

just leave a comment if you want to be added to the taglist!

a/n: the demons I had to fight to not name this "if you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it" haha. anyways thanks for reading!

do not plagiarize, translate, remake, or copy my works, including my writing and images, in any way.

[borathae]

“You and your friends celebrate girl’s night at the penthouse. This however, isn’t an excuse for Jungkook not to receive his welcome home kisses. You won’t complain, he’s your cutie after all.”

Pairing: CEO!Jungkook x f.Reader

Genre: married life!AU, Slice of Life Fluff, casual BDSM

Warnings: just girlies being best friends <3, they talk very freely about kink, she shows off her playroom, mentions of sex work & BDSM events, mommy kink, Kookie being her cute Bunnybaby <3

Wordcount: 2.5k

a/n: i reread the caravan chapter of aaol and in it, Koo mentions that she can bring her girl friends over for girl's night whenever she wants to. so i wrote something about that feat. Koo being a cutie. have fun besties 🤎

You had your girls over tonight. It has been ages since you last saw them and it couldn’t be any more exciting to have them stay at your place. You call it your Paradis Girls’ Sleepover. Hyejin brings the snacks, Byulyi the drinks, Yongsun is responsible for the face masks and Wheein brings candles. You offer them your guestrooms to sleep in, comfy pajamas to wear and fluffy socks to show off. 

The sleepover started at four. Hyejin and Wheein were the first to arrive. Like always. Yongsun was next and Byulyi came last. You all greeted each other with happy squeals and tight hugs, falling into excited conversation instantly. Your voices overlapped, everyone had something to tell and unsurprisingly, nobody was heard. You giggled about it and then agreed on taking turns telling your stories. 

Yongsun and her now-fiancé are currently trying for a baby and are moving apartments. She stopped working at Paradis four months ago. You knew of the last fact of course because you and the others were her emotional support cheerleader in the group chat during the process. She doesn’t miss the work and says that sex with her partner feels so much better all of a sudden. 

“That’s what I’m always saying. Sex hits so good when you’re only doing it with your love”, you say, snacking on some salted pretzels.

“Yeah I agree, it hits hard. You’re especially lucky though. Kook’s kinky as fuck”, Yongsun says as she sips on her makgeolli.

“Is Shiwon vanilla?” Wheein asks, “that’s news to me.”

“Oh hell no, not vanilla. Just not as kinky as Kook. You guys have a playroom. That’s so hot.”

“Oh, yes right!” you exclaim, clapping into your hands, “Yongsun, do you still wanna tell us more? Because I just remembered that we redid the toy shelves and you didn’t even see them yet.”

“Okay slay. Please show us”, Hyejin says, “unless you still want to talk, Yongsun. We don’t wanna cut your time short.”

“No, I can still talk during the house tour. I need to see the new shelves.” 

“Slay. Let’s do that”, Hyejin says and gets up from the couch.

You and the other girls follow. 

“Did you realise that you’ve started saying slay all the time?” Byulyi asks.

“Yes god so annoying”, Hyejin groans, “I’m watching this streamer and she keeps saying slay all the time. I can’t stop doing it because of her. Last night, I literally told one of my customers slay after we finished”, she whines, making your little group chuckle. 

“Did he say something?”

“Yeah, he asked me what it meant and I had to explain to him. He said that he didn’t get it and then left. Weirdo, it’s not like he wanted to lick cheese sauce outta my belly button before that.”

Wheein cracks up, you and the others laugh as well. You can clearly imagine how weird that customer was. You had so many of those during your time at Paradis.

You chat about the streamer on the way to the playroom. Hyejin tells you that she really likes her streams and that she always watches them in the evening during dinner and her night routine. She then proceeded to gush about this new rice water moisturiser she is trying, which in return made Byulyi think of how she got a new favourite brand of rice. Conversation shifted to Byulyi and her favourite brand of rice and how she thought of so many recipes already. Wheein asked for them and Byulyi gladly shared them. 

You keep the door to the playroom open, turning on the lights.

Your girls gasp and coo in unison, looking around the playroom with sparkling eyes.

“This won’t ever lose its spark”, Yongsun gushes, “it’s so hot. Seriously I’m getting all wet just being here.”

“Totally understand you”, Wheein agrees. 

“Wait till you see the upgraded toy drawers. That’ll make your clits throb”, you tell them, leading them to the drawers with a happy skip in your steps. 

The ladies follow you happily, looking left and right to really take in everything.

“Is that swing new?”Hyejin asks.

“Mhm? That?” you look at the black leather sex swing, “I think you girls haven’t seen it yet, but we’ve had it for like seven months.”

“Slay. Did you use it already?”

“What do you think?” you say and grin mischievously.

“Huge slay.”

Byulyi laughs because of Hyejin, patting her back sisterly. 

“It’s sturdy. Also it gives me a good grip on Kook. I can really go to town on him when he’s in there”, you say.

“I can imagine”, Yongsun says, “pegging in a swing just hits so much harder”

“Yeah definitely”, Wheein agrees.

You nod your head and turn to the drawers, “now look at those drawers.”

You and your girls gather in front of them as you open them and reveal your vibrator collection to them. 

“Woow so cool”, they gasp. 

“Right? Right? Check out the lighting in there. Helloo? We have drawer lights”, you gush, waving your hands around in the drawer.

“That’s genuinely so fucking cool. And the pillowing too. It makes the toys look so expensive”, Byulyi gushes, poking her finger into the velvety pillowing.

“And now check this out”, you say, pushing the drawer closed. It slides closed carefully, slowing down on the last few inches before closing silently, “they have a fucking automatic break in them. Remember the stupid ass drawers in Room 14?”

“They are still getting stuck each time you close them. Trust me, I’m still struggling”, Wheein says.

“I know right. God”, you groan and open the drawer again just to show off its closing mechanism to them, “look at how smooth that is.”

“This is so cool, seriously. Now stop closing the damn drawers I wanna see the collection”, Byulyi says, making you laugh.

“Okay, okay fine. A girl can’t do anything here”, you joke.

Byulyi chuckles deeply, looking into the drawer with a lopsided smirk on her lips.

And so you show them your new toys and give them a few details about how it is to play with them. You show them your pegging dildo collection and Wheein asks about Jungkook’s progress, which you proudly show them. They react in coos and honest praise and you felt so proud of your husband. There is no better feeling in the world than being able to show off with him.

And there are also no better people to do it to than your friends. You share everything about your sex lives. No topic, kink or fetish is taboo. Conversations about them are normal to you and them and part of the bond you share. You honestly think that if you suddenly stopped being so open with each other, the friendship would feel weird. Sex was what brought you five together, it is what you first bonded over as you had to talk shit about weird customers and even now, when two of your little group stopped working at the club, sex will still be a topic keeping you together. After all, there are many kink events where the five of you and your partners go to together. The shared love for kink and fetish is just part of your identities and a big reason why you loved to be friends.

It is obvious how normal kink conversations are in your friendship, when in the middle of you showing off the sturdiness of your flogging post, Byulyi begins talking about her rice again and you all exchange recipes. 

By the time the clock showed eight, Jungkook comes home from work. You and your girls were back in the living room again, but still haven’t started the movie you actually wanted to watch. Conversation was just too good to interrupt it with movies.

Jungkook is a welcome interruption however. You look at the elevator until its doors open and reveal Jungkook in his business attire.

“Hey there!”

“Yuhuu!”

“Welcome home, Kook!” 

“Helloo!”

Your girls greet your husband happily, giving him enthusiastic waves.

His eyes light up instantly.

“Hey there, girls”, he greets them, stepping out of the elevator, “hey, my love”. he tells you.

“Hey, Bunny. How was work?”

“Okay. I’ll just quickly take off my outside clothes and then I’ll be with you, okay?”

“Okay.”

Jungkook disappears in the dressing room for a moment. 

“He worked later today, didn’t he?”

“No, he went for dinner with a friend. I told him to take his time. I’m surprised he’s home already.”

Jungkook reappears again, making his way to you. He looks so handsome in his grey suit that you can’t stop making heart eyes at him.

“___ says that you went for dinner with a friend?” Wheein asks him.

“Yeah, Tae. We had pork ribs. It was so yummy and I ate way too much. My pants are uncomfy now”, he says, tugging on the hem of them to give his tummy a well-deserved break, “I had to drive home with my pants undone”, he says and makes you laugh.

“I understand you so well”, Wheein says, “it’s kinda nice too though. I like being so full with food ‘cause it means that the food was yummy.”

“Yeah definitely.”

“So why are you home already?” Hyejin asks. 

“Actually, funny story. Tae had to hurry home because his daughter suddenly got explosive diarrhea and his wife begged him to help her with it.”

“Eew really?”

“Yeah”, Jungkook laughs, “apparently it went all over the walls?”

“Eeew that’s so nasty eeww”, Hyejin says jokingly, “you sure you wanna get knocked up, unnie?” she teases Yongsun. 

“Haha, very funny.”

“You and Shiwon are trying for a baby?” Jungkook asks.

“Yup, at least we’re trying for one. I can’t say that I’m hating the process.” 

Jungkook laughs, “I can imagine.”

He finally reaches the couch, scanning his eyes over the snacks and drinks.

“Don’t look at the drinks”, Byulyi says, covering the glasses of makgeolli with her hands. 

Jungkook chuckles, “it’s fine. I don’t mind looking at alcohol. You girls enjoy”, he says and closes in on you.

He gets on your lap and hugs you, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck. You hug him back instantly, smiling dreamily.

“Hey, Mommy”, he says. 

“Hey there, Bunny.”

“How was your day?” 

“Good. And yours?”

“Okay. I had too many meetings”, he huffs out air, “so annoying.”

“Gosh, I’m sorry Bunnybaby. But you did it, I’m proud of you.”

“Thank you, Mommy”, he giggles happily, “I thought of you during the meetings.”

“You did?”

He nods his head and lifts it so he gazes into your eyes.

“I also have to fly to Shanghai for two nights. I gotta meet with a few business partners”, he says and pouts.

“When are you leaving?”

“Wednesday. I should be home by Friday night again”, he sacks his shoulders, “I’m sorry. I know this is really last-minute, but I only learned about it today.”

“It’s okay, you didn’t know”, you assure him and squeeze his dainty waist, “gosh Bunny, I’ll miss you so much. Like damn.”

“I know. Me too, Mommy”, he whines and hugs you tightly, “we gotta call each night.”

“Of course we gotta”, you say, making him giggle and lift his head so he could look at you again.

He caresses the sides of your neck, scrunching his nose cutely.

“You’re so pretty, Mommy."

“Mhm, Bunny you’re so cute. Come closer and let Mommy have her kisses.”

Jungkook leans in gladly, kissing you deeply and with his hips squirming on your lap unapologetically. You and he only act this way in front of your girls. No one else in your lives, not even family, knows this side of you. There would simply be too many awkward follow up questions and quite frankly, it was more comfortable to keep this part of your relationship private. But not in front of your girls. They know you for who you truly are. Jungkook was shy about it at first, because he never experienced sharing his kinks with people before. But once he realised that he won’t find judgment with your friends – and he visited enough kink events with you and your friends to know they are just as kinky as you – he began opening up more and more. These days, he is not ashamed of acting like Mommy’s best Bunny in front of them and he is most definitely not ashamed to show how much he likes your kisses. Everyone should know that he is Mommy’s happy Bunny when he gets your kisses.

You break the kiss because you didn’t want it to deepen too much. Jungkook will get horny again and you can’t be with him for at least a few more hours. 

He smiles at you, licking his lips afterwards. You retort the smile, squeezing his hips.

“That was nice”, he says.

“Yeah, it was so nice.”

“I think I’ll go to my room then. I bet you girls have so much to talk about”, he says, looking at the others.

“It’s okay. We don’t mind the distraction”, Byulyi assures him.

“We saw the size you can take these days. That’s impressive”, Wheein adds.

Jungkook’s face is beet red in an instant. He gawks at you with big eyes.

“You showed them?”

“Of course I did. I gotta show off with my Bunny.”

Jungkook blushes even harder, hiding his face in his own hands as cute giggles leave him.

“Mommy, you’re so mean. Don’t show off with that”, he whines, making you and your girls chuckle fondly.

“Mhm no. I’ll keep showing off with my Bunny.”

“God”, he falls against you, hugging you tightly as he giggles, “this is so embarrassing. You’re so mean, Mommy.”

“Sorry Bunny. You know that I’m proud of you, yeah?” you say, patting his butt gently.

“Yeah, I guess. Hmpf so mean”, he says and straightens up. You give him a little smooch on his cheek and then it is already time for Jungkook to get up from your lap. 

He looks at the snacks.

“Mhm snackies. Don’t mind me stealing some”, he says and grabs a handful of salted pretzels. He snacks on them as he leaves the living room, chewing happily, “will you girls stay the night?”

“Yup, we wanna watch a movie later.”

“Uuh movie. Which one?”

“Hereditary.”

“Isn’t that the movie with the car scene?”

“Yeah.”

Jungkook cringes, “well good luck to you girls. ___ showed me the scene and I’m still traumatized”, he says, making your little group laugh.

“Thanks Kook.” 

“I’ll be in the gym if you need me. I gotta work off the calories I ate. Mhm those are good pretzels. Damn”, he says and officially disappears out of sight. 

You release a dreamy sigh.

“He’s so perfect, you guys. I’m so lucky”, you gush. 

“Wah she’s so in love”, Hyejin teases lovingly, making you chuckle.

“I am. It’s getting stronger each day”, you say proudly, sighing adoringly.

[revehae]

two days ago, this blog turned two years old. well, that’s if you ignore the fact that i accidentally deleted my blogs this january. in spite of that, so many of you are still here with me and have been supportive even when i was quite literally losing my marbles. you guys have been patient through my periods of inactivity and reread my fics with the same amount of appreciation for them as you had the first read - if not more. and for that, i say thank you.

but i’m also saying goodbye.

just kidding! i was being serious for too long and so i felt the need to potentially strike some fear into someone’s heart for fun. anywho, no, i’m not actually leaving. not yet, anyway. there is so much more i want to do with this blog and so many ideas i want to share that will most likely carry on to the following year. so yeah, you guys are still stuck with me.

am i taking the two-year anniversary of a mostly k-pop tumblr blog teeming with dark, degenerate fantasies that ought to get me stoned by stubby, hairy ogres way too seriously? perhaps. but i’ll never forget what this blog means to me. i’m in a place now where my trauma is no longer something i feel suffocated by or bound to, but when i created this blog, i admit that there were still large parts of me that felt like i was “broken.” this was only possible because i found safe places where i could acknowledge it without fear of being judged, blamed, or attacked.

i realize not everyone has those places. one of the greatest delights i have is being able to own a blog where people with similar experiences as me are able to confront their pain in a way that makes them feel safe, comfortable, and most importantly, in control.

i went through periods of time where i wouldn’t even leave my room because i was so terrified of being subjected to the same nightmare again. i couldn’t go out in public, because when i did, i was constantly worried that someone was out to give me. this affected my relationships with my friends, family, myself, sex, the world - everything. it is a hell i wouldn’t even wish on Trumpington McDonaldton. or would i? just kidding. not really, considering his track record. but, back to the point, i know what it’s like to live in the dark. i know how unfair it is that someone can swoop in, ruin your life, and never, ever face consequences. meanwhile, you are staring at the consequences of what someone else did every single day. i know what it’s like to blame yourself. i know what it’s like to wish that things were different.

but i also know that as unfair as it is, as painful as it is, and as hard as it may be to accept, no one is going to single-handedly fix you. you have to be your own healer. you have to put the work in to build yourself back up and bounce back stronger than ever. i know firsthand how intimidating that can be, however, in my experience, the first step was not hiding from what i’d gone through. in a way that i originally never thought would be possible, writing and reading noncon fics was one of the most helpful ways of doing that. everything about this blog has been extremely cathartic for me. and the best part about it is that many of you have told me it’s cathartic for you as well, which fills me with a glee words cannot describe.

now, of course, my blog is not limited to Traumatized Individuals who had their brains rewired in the worst way possible via some negative experience - although i doubt you’re not still somehow traumatized if you religiously read my content. if you aren’t a victim of SA, you aren’t going to be crucified for reading noncon. it’s okay. don’t worry. but still, i will always support and stand up for those that are, even if they don’t cope in the same way as me. because not reading is also okay. there are so many different ways to cope with SA; i’m just happy to provide one of them to those that seek it out.

again, thank you all! thank you to those that have been here since the beginning. thank you to those that followed me this week. thank you to those who leave nice messages in my inbox, and reblog, and leave comments. thank you to my dearest sweet mutuals. thank you to those who followed me here from lisired and didn’t unfollow me when you realized i’m a little bit insane. thank you to those that read my fics over and over and never get bored! let’s heal together everyone. but let’s also be depraved and Scare The Hoes. and if you read all of this, i love you and i hope you get everything you ever wanted in life.

- with all of the love in the world, revehae!

[heavcnslyre]

chapter three — j.f. ( masterlist )

LOVER, YOU SHOULD’VE COME OVER.

“maybe i'm too young to keep good love from going wrong

but tonight, you're on my mind so, you’ll never know”

taglist: @jellybassett @glowingtree

(authors note PLEASE READ: you guys are the SWEETEST ever omg the amount of love i’ve gotten on this so far is insane. i appreciate, and reread over and over again, every single comment or reblog i get, it genuinely keeps me so motivated to write and i appreciate you guys so so much you have no idea. i haven’t written in forever so i excepted no one to like this fic but so far you guys have proven that to be not true and it brings me so much joy. i plan for this to be long!! idek how many parts i’m just gonna keep writing chapters until the story ends!! i cannot guarantee how often updates will be but i’ll write my ass off as much as i can for a while!! all the love in the world to you guys!!! enjoy!!)

you wake up the next morning with no messages from peter. this, usually wouldn’t be strange since he often slept in later than you, but he didn’t even reply to your message from last night at ten thirty. he never went to bed earlier than two in the morning. a gross, nervous feeling creeps up on you. you try to shake it off, thinking that maybe he just fell asleep early when he hadn’t heard from you. that’s what you would keep telling yourself.

downstairs in the kitchen, steven and jeremiah were sitting on stools at the counter, comparing their cereals. belly was at the table, studying the pancakes she was eating. susannah was cooking more pancakes at the stove. “morning (y/n)!” susannah greets you as you enter the room. jeremiah looks up at you and when you make eye contact, he gives you a forced smile and then looks back down at his cereal. he’d been acting weird since last night, when you told him about peter. it actually sort of made you feel bad, that you didn’t tell him sooner. he was clearly bothered by it or offended about you not telling him. the last thing you wanted to do was make things weird between the two of you, and that’s exactly what you did.

“morning susannah,” you smile at her. “can i have some pancakes?”

“absolutely you can!” she exclaims, flipping a pancake over onto a plate. “give me two minutes and they’ll be ready.”

“thanks susannah,” you say then walk over to sit with belly at the table. she smiles at you, her mouth full of pancakes.

“what are you doing today?” she asks you. you shrug.

“dunno. what were you thinking?”

“you should take me driving,” belly smiles cheekily. you laugh. she always asked to go driving ever since you got your license, but you didn’t mind. she had told you before that she trusted you the most to teach her how to drive without being too judgmental.

“sure, bells,” you say. “you can drive me into town to grab some stuff from the store.”

“bonfire tonight, (y/n),” steven turns to face you. “don’t forget.”

you nod. “would never.”

“can i go?” belly asks, looking between the two of you. steven looks at jeremiah then laughs.

“belly, that’s not really your scene,” steven says. “you’ve never gone before.”

“well i wanna go now,” she looks at you. “please?”

you look at steven, who shakes his head. you shrug. “i don’t know, belly. isn’t tonight usually your movie night?”

“it is,” susannah appears with a plate of pancakes for you. you thank her as she sets them down. “but we could always reschedule if belly wanted to go to a party with her siblings.”

“see?” belly says. “even susannah doesn’t think it’s a bad idea.”

“don’t get me too involved, now,” susannah tucks belly’s hair behind her ear. “i have no opinion on the matter except for i want you to do whatever makes you happiest.”

“i think you should come, belly,” jeremiah speaks up for the first time since you’ve gotten downstairs. everyone turns to look at him and he shrugs. he won’t look at you. “it would be fun if you were there.”

“it’s decided then,” belly says. “i’m going with!”

“better make sure it’s okay with mom first,” steven tells her, but she waves him off, finishing her pancakes and going to rinse off her plate.

“(y/n), i’ll be in the pool. come get me when you’re ready to go!”

“thirty minutes after eating before you can swim!” susannah calls out to her, but belly was already gone. susannah shakes her head, but there’s a smile on that face. “that girl.”

soon enough, you and belly are in the car, her driving you both into town. the music was blasting and the windows were down, hair whipping everywhere, but neither of you cared.

“what do you have to get from town?” belly asks.

“some hair stuff and i wanna go to that one boutique we found last year and see if they have anything cute,” you reply. she grins.

“i completely forgot about that place!”

“me too until i was packing for this trip and found my skirt i got from there last year,” you and belly had always looked around different shops in town, mainly window-shopping and judging the clothes that were sold in those shops. they were so extremely over priced and half of them looked like something your grandmother would wear. that was, until last summer, when you found the most gorgeous hot pink skirt on a sale rack at a new boutique. you could not stop thinking about it after you left, so the next day you and belly went back so that you could buy it. you wore that skirt constantly. the thing you remembered most about it was the way that jeremiah had looked at you the first time you had worn it. he made you feel so special just from one look, so that skirt became a staple piece in your wardrobe after that. when you started dating peter, you stopped wearing the skirt. it was such a small, meaningless idea that he looked at you special when you wore a random skirt, but it meant a lot to you at the same time. enough that it felt like betrayal to pack the skirt to bring to cousins, so you left it at home.

you and belly spend the afternoon at the shops, picking out outfits for each other to try and laughing at the ridiculousness you put each other through. as you’re getting ready to leave, before she starts the car, belly turns to you. “(y/n).”

“what’s up bells?”

“have you noticed anything…different, about conrad?” she sounds hesitant to ask you, and almost whispers his name. you sigh.

“sorta,” you say. “i was talking to jere last night and he told me that things were weird with him. he doesn’t know why, but it’s been months. he quit the football team.”

“what!?” belly exclaims. “no way. he loves football, i thought he was gonna play in college.”

you shrug. “so did everyone. he just changed things out of nowhere. jere said that he won’t ever say anything and pretends nothing is wrong, but he hasn’t really tried talking to him. you know how guys are with each other. talking about stuff like that does not come easy.”

belly nods, staring down at the steering wheel. you touch her arm gently. “hey, maybe you should talk to him.”

“me?”

“yeah bells. he’s happier around you, even if you don’t see it. maybe he’ll talk to you.”

she sighs. “i don’t know (y/n). he seems mad at me. like, every time we’ve talked, he is so different,” she glances over at you. “you know how i feel about him. i just…i hate the thought of losing him.”

“you won’t. i promise you, you won’t. he’ll open up. you sure as hell did not do anything wrong, it’s probably just something small he needs to work through. everything will work itself out.”

belly smiles at you gratefully. “thank you, (y/n). i think i would go crazy without you.”

“that is exactly what a big sister is for.”

she starts the car and begins to drive away. “so, another thing… do you think i should be a debutant?”

“a debutant?” you ask, shocked. “belly, when i was considering it last summer you seemed disgusted.”

“i know,” she sighs. “but susannah asked me to do it…and i know she was bummed when you didn’t do it last year so i just figured….” she trails off, but she didn’t have to finish. susannah had asked you last year to be a deb and you were going to do it, you really were. you even started looking for dresses and planning everything. that was, until jeremiah announced that he had no intention of ever being an escort to the deb ball. it had felt like such an indirect that it completely killed all of your interest in the ball. he was the only person you had even considered asking to be your escort, and he so openly hated the idea of being one, so you figured that was a sign that it wasn’t right for you. if you were honest, you always regretted it.

“you should do it,” you say after a while. “you’re right, it would make susannah happy. and i’m sure you’ll have no problem finding an escort. it’d be a lot of fun to watch.”

“you think so?”

“definitely.”

belly nods, but doesn’t say anything, focusing on the road. you do the same thing, staring forward. part of you still wondered if jeremiah would have been your escort if you had asked. the other part of you hates yourself for thinking that you would be the exception.

later that night, you’re standing and staring at your closet, trying to figure out what to wear to the bonfire. you brought a few dresses and skirts, but suddenly, you hated everything you owned. this bonfire was super fun every year and the best way to start out the summer, so you felt so much pressure to pick out something cute.

“hey,” jeremiah appears in your doorway, ready to go. “you about ready?”

“yeah,” you sigh. “just gotta figure out what to wear.”

“hm,” he thinks for a second, walking towards your closet. “you still have that pink skirt from last summer? that was good.”

you look down. “uh, left it at home.”

“oh,” he says, a hint of disappointment in his voice. then, he clears his throat and turns his back to you, facing your clothes. he looks for a second before grabbing a blue sundress and handing it to you. “here. this is perfect.”

you look at the dress and smile. it was one of your favorite dresses, simple and comfortable but super cute. of course jeremiah would pick out a sundress for you to wear. he always claimed that girls in sundresses were his weakness.

“okay. get out so i can change,” you push him out the door and he laughs as you do, allowing you to close the door in his face. you change quickly and find a pair of sandals to go with the dress, check your hair and makeup one last time, then you went downstairs to meet everyone else. conrad and belly were sitting on opposite sides of the couch, steven in the middle of them (which looked like it was awkward for all three of them), and jeremiah sat in the chair by the couch, staring at his phone. when steven sees you come down, he shoots up from his seat and claps his hands. “alright! let’s get going! jere’s driving, i call shotgun!”

you make eye contact with jeremiah who smiles at you after looking you up and down. you feel yourself blush at his gaze. he always did this to you. you felt so special just by him looking at you. it was stupid, honestly. that’s just how he was.

the five of you pile out of the house and into jeremiah’s car, you, conrad, and belly squished into the back while steven and jeremiah sat in the front seat of the car, singing their hearts out to taylor swifts ‘cruel summer.’ they were insane when it came to her music, but neither of them would ever admit it.

as soon as you arrive at the beach, steven jumps out of the car. he’s halfway to the fire by the time you even open your car door, and conrad and jeremiah are following close behind him, leaving you and belly to walk down on your own. you glance over at belly, who is staring at the group of people on the beach, a nervous look on her face. you throw your arm around her. “it’ll be okay bells. it’s actually fun here, promise. just…don’t talk to anyone weird. or too old. and if you get uncomfortable just come find me. we’ll figure it out.”

she smiles at you gratefully. “thank you, (y/n). i’ll be okay. you go have fun with your friends.”

you squeeze her shoulder gently as your friend nicole waves you over. “love you bells.”

“love you too.”

you hurry over to nicole and hug her tightly. “oh, nicole! it’s so good to see you!”

“it’s so good to see you too!” she exclaims. as you pull away from the hug, she offers you a beer and you take it. “how have you been?”

“so good,” you tell her. “the school year was great and i actually have a boyfriend back home!”

“ohhh!!” nicole squeals. “what’s his name? how long have you been together? tell me everything.”

you fill her in on all of the details of your relationship, with her squealing excitedly at the end of almost every sentence. as soon as you finish talking, you feel a hand on your shoulder, and turn to see your friend shayla. it was your turn to squeal in excitement as you hug her tightly, then nicole does the same.

“shayla! i didn’t know you were coming this early!” nicole exclaims. shayla shrugs.

“yeah, mum and dad decided we’d come now rather than later,” shayla replies. “deb season, you know? they want me to be prepared.”

“oh, don’t remind me,” nicole sighs. “i’m helping as a big sister this year. i don’t know if i’m ready to go through it again.”

shayla laughs. “cant be that bad! at least, that’s what i’m telling myself.”

“do you know who’s gonna escort you?” nicole asks. shayla glances at you quickly.

“well, it’s so early, i don’t know…”

nicole scoffs. “shayla, you are the most prepared and efficient person i know. i know you have someone in mind.”

“well,” shayla gives you an embarrassed smile. “i was kinda thinking i would try to get to know steven more. see if he would escort me.”

both of the girls look at you, waiting for your reaction. usually, you hated when girls had a crush on your brother. at school, girls who did would try to become friends with you to get closer to him, and it was tiring. but this was different. shayla was one of the most kind, incredible people you have ever met. you knew she had no ill intentions. also, steven could use a good influence like her in his life. “that sounds like a great idea, shayla.” you say sincerely. she breathes an obvious sigh of relief.

“i’m so glad you said that,” she says. “i would never wanna pursue something if it meant it would hurt our friendship. no man is worth that.”

you nod. “you’re so right.”

nicole’s eyes drift over your shoulder. “i’m, uh…i’ll be right back.”

without either of you replying, she walks away. you watch her as she walks directly to conrad, who had apparently been by himself in that moment. you and shayla look at each other and laugh.

“she is so down bad for him,” shayla says. you nod.

“painful to watch sometimes.”

shayla laughs again. “well, i’ll see you later too, (y/n). i’m gonna go talk to steven.” you grin at her.

“have fun!”

as soon as she walks away and you’re left on your own, your phone buzzes. you pull it out to see a text from peter. finally. it had only been all day since you’d heard from him.

peter: been busy today babe sorry for not replying

peter: at party rn it’s super fun!

peter: look at this video lol there was a tall ass diving board i jumped in fully clothed

peter: (attachment, one video)

you smile at his messages and click on the video he sent you. it took a moment to load, but once it did, you almost dropped your phone in shock. it wasn’t a video of him jumping off the diving board. it was a video of him making out with a random girl. you watch in pure shock, unable to move. as the video goes on, you realize it wasn’t a random girl. it was cassie, your best friend. you watch the video closely, hoping for any sign that this was some sort of a dare or big joke, but there was nothing. they were just heavily making out, his hands up her shirt and her hands in his hair, and someone just happened to be filming on peter’s phone.

peter: oh shit

you stare at your phone for a full minute after the video ended, unsure what to do next. then, looking at your other hand, you knew. you chugged the rest of your beer, found a cooler, and chugged another one. when you started your third one, you felt a hand on your shoulder. “hey.”

you turn around to see jeremiah standing there, smiling at you. “you having fun?” he asks. you nod, chugging almost half of the new beer in one sip.

“so much fun,” you finish off the third beer and go to grab another one, but jeremiah grabs your hand.

“wait, be careful,” he says. “how many have you had?”

“that was like, my first,” you lie, opening a new beer. “don’t worry, jere. i’ll be fine. just having some fun.”

he stares at you, a concerned look on his face. “(y/n), you never drink like this. what’s going on?”

“nothing!” you say cheerfully. “just trying to start the summer out right,” you look around and see a group of people dancing nearby. you take a sip of your beer and motion towards them. “i’m going to dance.”

“(y/n),” jeremiah calls, but you were already stumbling away from him, towards the people dancing. shayla and steven were in that group, shayla doing more dancing than steven was, but both of them looking like they were having fun nonetheless. shayla grins at you as you approach, grabbing your free hand and spinning you around. you giggle and dance with her for a while, finishing off your beer as you do. you were definitely drunk at this point, which wasn’t hard for you, since you were a lightweight. at things like this, you usually stopped at one beer or seltzer, so you definitely were not used to four. it was good, though. it made you forget about peter and cassie betraying you.

it made you forget until now.

if you were honest, it didn’t surprise you as much as you thought it would. cassie had been the one to introduce you to peter, and she always had a weird connection to him. you almost felt stupid for not seeing this coming sooner. most of all though, you were just angry. angry at peter for leading you on and cheating on you. angry at cassie for supposedly being your best friend and then doing this the second you’re not in town. angry at both of them for ruining the one good thing you had in a long time. as you walk towards the beer cooler again, jeremiah catches up to you and grabs your arm, holding you back. “okay, no. i’m cutting you off, (y/n).”

“let go of me,” you grumble quietly, trying to free yourself from his grip, but he was much stronger than you. he grabbed your other arm so you were forced to face him.

“(y/n), what’s going on with you?”

“nothing!” you yell at him, catching the attention of a few people around you, but you were too far gone to care. “nothings going on with me! i’m just trying to have a good time, okay?”

jeremiah smiles awkwardly at a few people around you, trying to divert the attention away from the two of you. “i know you, (y/n). why are you acting like this? you’re never like this.”

“so what?” you say. “so what if i am?”

a few girls call jeremiah’s name and attempt to wave him over to them, but he ignores them. “come on, we should get you home.”

“i don’t wanna go home,” you say hardly, looking him in the eyes. he looks genuinely concerned for you. somehow, you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. “i wanna stay here.”

“(y/n)…” he’s cut off by the sound of police sirens and people yelling and scrambling around to pick up the beer cans and leave quickly. jeremiah swears under his breath and grabs your hand, pulling you away from the beach. “guess you have no choice.”

the two of you run towards his car, following everyone else who was running away from the scene. you look around frantically, but can’t find belly, conrad, or steven. “jere, wait, where’s everyone else?”

jeremiah shakes his head. “i’ll find them in a second. gotta get you to the car.”

“but belly, jere,” you say. “she’s probably scared shitless.”

he shakes his head again. “she found someone to hang out with. i’m sure she’s with him. i’m sure it’ll be fine.”

“but—“

“i’ll find her, (y/n).” he cuts you off. “just please get in the car first.” at this point, he sounds like he’s begging you. you look him in his eyes but have to look away quickly. the desperation in his expression was too painful to look at. you nod.

“okay.”

he squeezes your hand then opens the passenger door for you, allowing you to climb in. “i’ll be right back, okay? stay here.”

and with that, he’s running back towards the beach like he was superman. at that moment, it felt like he was, honestly. running back towards the cops in order to save everyone else. you weren’t sure that you knew many people who would do that. while you’re still alone in the car, you pull out your phone to finally reply to peter, who had texted you again, five times.

peter: (y/n) omg i’m so sorry

peter: wrong video but i swear it’s not what it looks like

peter: we’re both so drunk we were dared to do it and that’s why it was recorded

peter: please (y/n) please we didn’t mean it

peter: please believe me

you: fuck you

and with that, you block his number, and set your phone down. you wonder if you would have that much confidence if you were sober. you wonder if you would believe him if you were sober. it was a good thing that you weren’t, you figured. it was for the best. two months didn’t have to mean much, right? just a silly little mistake you made to date him that ended badly, but it didn’t matter, right? yeah your best friend betrayed you, but no worries, right?

suddenly, you realize that you are crying. sobbing, actually. uncontrollable sobs escape from your lips and you sit in the dark car, alone, sobbing your heart out. how was this fair? what did you do to deserve to lose your best friend and boyfriend all at once? the fact that if he hadn’t accidentally sent you that video then you never would have known made it worse. it made you wonder if this had been going on for a while, and he had just slipped up now. you could not stop crying.

even when the car doors opened and jeremiah slid into the seat next to you, you could not stop crying. he looks at you, shocked. “(y/n)?” he asks softly, unsure. the rest of the car is quiet, but you could feel everyone else’s presence in the backseat. you shake your head.

“i’m… i’m fine,” you say unconvincingly. “i’ll be, i’ll be okay.” you nod at jeremiah, who was staring at you with the same desperation on his face from before. he seems unconvinced, but starts the car, glancing at you again before he drives away. in the dark, he reaches over and grabs your hand, holding it tightly in his. you continue to cry silently for the rest of the ride home, squeezing his hand with both of yours.

[nights-at-crystarium]

Fragments - episodes 41-46 author notes

You can find similar breakdown posts on older episodes in my pinned!

Get comfy and reread with me the finale of the Il Mheg arc and the intro of a certain loser.

First off, I wanna emphasize how important this arc’s for Vivi. Had he not liked Il Mheg in general and Feo Ul in particular, the rest of the story would play out very differently, and not in favor of the sundered. His initial positive impression of the First is pretty much the only thing that saves it.

We've reached a high, physically and emotionally. You know what that means, as per the shb rollercoaster rule :>

Pan pride pixie blesses Thancred, ca. 2024, colorized. I accidentally gave them the pan colors but hey it works. ALSO! Stars in his eyes.

Re: distant nightmare, I’ll let you in on a secret, or a third party perspective if you will. Vivi's full of shit, he's too focused on the big picture. He’s narrating this whole story, but his perspective is, well, just that.

Initially this was Vivi's inner monologue, then I thought that I should just let them talk, and it wrote itself.

More under the cut~

Drawing a buncha vivi-lookalikes that act soooooorta but not really like him, just slightly off, was a surprisingly fun exercise.

Luckily for Thancred, though, he sniffs out the pixie magic, and knows better than indulging them.

...Still, what a shitty fucked up day. Sorry, Thancred :’>

This here’s an example of a moment where I’m uncertain if I’m being too subtle and if this flies over some readers’ heads. He refers to Alisaie’s “job” of dragging Vivi back to msq, which she recently started lowkey dreading (episodes 32-33)

...Though she goes back to her “duty” in episode 43.

She's pointedly SILENT throughout the episode, doing her best to hold back.

Thancred's a man who can say no to begging dogs.

Gridania mention! Vivi’s gridanian! He never speaks ill of the elementals, he's wary of them even a world apart.

This pixie's life is something Feo Ul's willing to sacrifice. Episodes 42-43 tell this story in reverse order, yes this’s the pixie that was supposed to agree with Thancred and go with the Scions to the Crystarium.

As to why there’s a dozen of vivis popping up as a backup: they needed just one fake Vivi to go with the Scions, but try organizing the pixies. Their plan’s already failed when this first pixie-Vivi refused to play their part.

“Yeah no, our guy’s special, but not as special as to explode in confetti”

I love his first ingame appearance in that Varis cutscene, this moment has similar energy: barely enters the stage, instantly gets impaled on a long object. This’s not foreshadowing, no, why would you think that-

The “camera” is perfectly still, there’s even some symmetry, demonstrating how calm and prepared Emet is. He didn’t expect much and he’s still disappointed.

This’s a super old comic. I spent the first half of 2022 testing and trying to find a style for Fragments, back then I had no plans, none, zero, absolutely no interest to give Emet a role bigger than a mention. The earliest version of the script had very few Emet scenes, which, looking back on it, was gonna be a disservice to his character. Well, that changed rapidly in late 2023 when I fell for him so hard that I broke my neck, and now I look back on a lot of what I did with Vivi with new eyes. THE EYEROLL. After spending two years developing a guy for a fun wolgraha chemistry (at the same time I was perfectly aware that Exarch and Emet are foils. I made a foil for Exarch, what on earth did I expect-), I’m going through a mindblow after mindblow as I realize HOW GOOD VIVI IS FOR EMET (and vice versa ofc) and how many things they have in common. This wasn’t always the case, Vivi just gradually got more cynical, tired, ✨grey✨ and everything else that makes a guy consider hitting it with The Other Old Man.

They’re off to a great start.

From Emet’s pov, this must really hurt, as in how many other shards of Azem might’ve snarled at him like this. Even though he must be numb to it by now, who says that there isn’t the tiniest flicker of hope when he approaches yet another not-Azem. He may deny and hate and try to snuff out that spark, but the fatal Soulmate Magnet keeps doing its thing.

Parallels to episode 2.

Apparently, Vivi’s first reaction to encountering his to-be-most-prominent boyfriends is to attack them somehow.

This’s really, REALLY dumb of him, and he even comments on it shortly after. But yes, his isekai tale in the First was rather pleasant just until now, and it lulled him into the false sense of security. OF COURSE there are ascians everywhere, not just on the Source. Vivi just forgor.

Emet tests Vivi's reactions to insults/being treated as a lesser, silliness, flirt.

I regret to inform you that both Vivi and Alisaie have been disarmed so easily. The tone quickly shifts, the weapon’s lowered.

Alisaie makes bad puns/jokes in canon, I thought it'd fit if she laughed at that kinda jokes too, and in the least fitting situations, to top it off. Alphinaud’s disappointed, even if he can hardly be called an expert in humor.

“It’s up to you”. Emet stops fooling around, assuming a more serious tone. He may not respect Vivi or his agency here, but he provides him with a choice that's guaranteed to give him some trust points, and uses "we" for an illusion of unity/equality, a not really subtle nudge towards cooperation, it's not me vs you anymore, it's "us".

Whether Vivi picks up on the manipulation or not remains to be seen, but Emet gets his way here.

Forgive me this lil tangent, but I’m so giddy and excited to write Emet. If Exarch’s decently emotionally intelligent but still obtuse at times, Vivi’s a tier or two above him, he’s not a stranger to manipulation, he registers it being used on him, and doesn’t hesitate to use it too when it suits his fancy. He's quite good at people-ing. Emet, though, Emet’s THE emotional intelligence personified. He’s had literal thousands of years to practice, he leaves everyone else in the dust in this regard. It’s daunting but so exciting to write him, I hope to do him justice.

Let’s just talk.

𝓛𝓮𝓽’𝓼 𝓳𝓾𝓼𝓽 𝓽𝓪𝓵𝓴.

Mark this moment, remember this line for meme value. If these last words aren't famous yet, they WILL become that when we see what they talk their way into <w<

Yes I'm going all in on tragic irony of Emet's situation.

Accidental Emet rp, with the hunching over and all. Or maybe Vivi already unwittingly mirrors him. Or maybe he always did- *kicked and dumped in the trash bin*

Man. I'm guilty of enjoying drawing Vivi in genuine distress. He’s so fun when he’s agitated.

Hidden Angst Time! It's all hehe haha until you realize that this might be a product of the hectic wol lifestyle forcing him to speedrun his emotions like this. Either speedrun, or be left with no opportunity to process them at all.

Also, the sandwiches! The framing’s deliberate, they’re on the foreground all the time, and Vivi only notices them in the very last panel.

I! Love! This! Face!!!!!! A rare neutral, relaxed, thoughtful face, he isn't performing for anyone here.

Nevermind Ardbert getting brutally ignored here x’D

The fact that a guy that Vivi had briefly considered as partner material shut himself away in the Crystal Tower for what could be the rest of his life has stuck with Vivi for good. Or should I say for bad. He might not necessarily care about ARRRaha, still it upsets him that he kissed someone who practically killed himself some days later.

I recently talked a lil more about the Bitchless Liar. This’s how Vivi remembers him forever, take it or leave it. But hey, this cool Exarch guy has big balls probably <- in-universe hc \o/

This episode taught me to draw BREAD.

Even though Exarch’s been nothing but sweet so far, one thing’s to acknowledge a fact with your brain, another thing’s to wrestle with your trauma and paranoia that have all rights to exist and fester. Ever since HW Vivi doesn’t accept food and drinks from anyone except the few trusted sources. This isn’t really covered in this episode, but hopefully hinted at just enough.

He takes a leap of faith. Or maybe he’s simply sick and tired of living Like This. Maybe sandwiches kill him, and he doesn’t really mind. And, when they don’t, he goes through a visible shift in attitude towards Exarch, as we’re able to see in the following episodes.

This’s all I’ve got for now, thanks for reading till the end~

[aurorawritestoescape]

Self rec - my favourite stories

I've already replied to the asks about 5 favorite stories of mine but i'd love to list them again with added commentary🙏 which I should have done the first time🤦🏼‍♀️

Bad Blood - step uncle Joel Miller x f!reader x stepdad Tommy Miller

Summary: you want your stepdad and your step uncle offers to help

It’s my first ever series thus it’s very dear to me. The story lets me unleash my darker side😈 so it’s super fun to write! I’m very grateful to everyone for the love this series has got and keeps getting and I can’t wait to share the last part with y’all💖

I Know Better Than To Call You Mine - pre outbreak Joel Miller x f!reader

Summary: Joel lets himself have a treat. You.

Pre outbreak Joel is just so special, right? A single dad, doing his best🥹 I poured all my love for him into this story and gave him a happy ending I wish he had.

Always and Forever - post outbreak Joel x f!reader

Summary: Joel comes home after a hard day on patrol and you comfort him.

I’m proud of this story and love this Joel so much. It’s angsty af and also hot bc I can’t write anything without smut in it😄

The Party - Lucien Flores x f!reader

Tw: 18+ mdni, smut, DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT, NON CON, unspecified age gap, unprotected piv.

It’s a dark story which I reread so often that it’s embarrassing😅 my favorite DDDNE story of mine for sure.

American Beauty - best friend’s dad Joel Miller x f!reader

Summary: Joel sees you in a wet dream. Then you make his dream a reality.

Horny Joel who tries to fight his urges but can’t bc you’re just so hot? Yes, pls🥵 i always was a fan of this trope and was excited to write my own version of it. Pt 3 is in the works.

Thank you again for the asks, lovelies @schnarfer @littlemisspascal @iamasaddie 😘😘😘

[dcartcorner]

I've been rereading your elsewhere au and I have a couple little observations I think are cool, so- yeah lmao

I can't believe this didn't occur to me before but gerry's thing is making leitners. like I knew that he did that I just hadn't noticed the irony. nicely done!

also that he seems to cry while using his powers, or at least, sometimes. don't know if it's just painful or a secret lore reason, but it's very cool.

Simon's hoodie strings have been floating pretty much since the beginning! How did I miss that?

There's a drawing on a playground where Simon is climbing on top of the roof of a playset and in the next drawing he has an arm cast. boy fucked around and found out lmao

after his first encounter with the Eye, or at least, first time being confronted with it, Elias had huge eyebags for the next few panels!

this is less of an observation but in the into the dark bundle the monster was in pretty much every panel and it was super fun where's-waldoing it.

This one isn't an observation, I just. Sarah. Sarah my beloved. She is literally everything to me. Lil stranger just wanting to play with her friends. When Jon knelt beside her and they talked I wanted to hug her so bad. also her and Simon (my favorite characters) being close and hugging means so much. just. gah

anyways. this was a lot. I think your au is very cool lol

great observations! thank you for sharing them! it’s always fun to hear what people pick up on ^^ i’m happy you’re enjoying it!

[luimagines]

Ooh! I remembered the idea that fell out of my head!

A sequel to the “boys lost a bet” one where Reader figured them out after watching their attempts at flirting. Reader then decides to attempt to fluster them until they confess (even if it takes weeks) or in poor Sky’s case until they decide they’ve messed with him enough since he accidentally confessed during his attempt.

- Glitter, slowly recovering from surprise and having fun spamming your inbox in between bits of homework ✨

OOoooooo!! Cute idea! I'm on it!

I’m also... going to take a few creative liberties here and just say that it’s after the event. Mostly because it’s not going to be that way for a few boys. A.k.a I already had it written before I reread your request and realized that it didn’t quite fit in.

Masterlist

You can read the first part right here.

Content under the cut!

Sky

When you left to finish up your patch work, Sky made his way back to the game. He seemed to sway on his feet somewhat with a bright, if dim witted, smile on his face.

Sky collapsed on the ground next to Wild and sits criss cross apple sauce. His jaw lands in his hands without opening his eyes. “So... I did it.”

“We saw.” Hyrule blinks owlishly. “I didn’t think that would happen.”

“You weren’t the only one.” Warrior rubs his jaw and stares at the number he’s just rolled. “Not where I thought the odd would lie to be honest.”

Sky giggles, too happy and giddy to be of much help to anyone. “Is it my turn again?”

“Uhhhh...” Wild picks up the dice. “I think it’s mine? We all stopped to watch you fall on face. But you didn’t do that.”

“I didn’t do that.” Sky agree happily.

Wild looks around for anyone who is willing to stop him from taking his turn but no one does. “I’m betting fifteen rupees for anything higher than a eight.”

“Twenty for anything lower than eight!” Four leans forward already back in the game.”

Wind cackles just under his breath. “Forty for anything lower than four.” 

The blacksmith gives him a dirty look.

Time says nothing, not willing to bet anything this round. He was glad on two accounts that Sky lost the previous roll. For one, it obviously went very well for the young lad and Time is glad that it worked out in the end. But the second reason speaks a little louder in the back of his head. Time had bet just one above Sky. It saved him from losing the bet and taking the punishment.

The Old Man nudges Sky with his elbow and gestures with his head away from the group. 

Sky smiles back easily and gets up without complaint. Which is more than what Time’s joints can say.

“You wanted to talk?”

Time leans against a tree and raises an eyebrow. “And what were expecting to come out of that when you went?”

Sky’s face lights up in a blush again. A hand comes up to scratch the back of his head but he can still save if. He can play dumb. “What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean.”

Ok, maybe not. Sky grins awkwardly. “I was thinking I would trip over myself , look like an idiot and then they’d laugh and wave me away.”

“And what happened?” Time asks, as if he wasn’t watching with one hundred percent of his attention like the rest of the group was.

Sky’s blush darkens and he toes the dirt beneath his boot. “I got a kiss out of it.”

Time smiles like a proud father. “What else?”

“I may have... told them that I like them... and they said they liked me too.” Sky admits quietly.

“Good. I was wonder when you two were going to catch on and do something about it.”

Sky’s head snaps up to face Time head on, embarrassment completely foregone to make room for the shock that followed. “...What?...”

Time gets off of the tree and reaches forward, patting Sky on the head and ruffles his hair for good measure. “You’re good kids. I’m happy for you.”

“...What?...”

“Just don’t do anything to get the both of you in trouble at the end of the day.”

“Wait, Time you KNEW?!?”

Twilight

Twilight waited just as you told him to. He didn’t even think of moving. He couldn’t think. Period.

You had somehow managed to put his entire thought process on halt.

He couldn’t hear that you were saying to the others guys but when you returned, you had a blinding smile and you clapped in delight. Twilight couldn’t help but feel happy on your behalf. “Did it all go well?”

“I oh so happened to clear your schedule for tomorrow in the process.” You inform him, looking rather proud of yourself.

“Did you now?” He raises an eyebrow. Now Twilight knows that feels better. Because the words comes easy and the conversation isn’t that different than it would have been that morning or the day before.

“Yes.” You sit down next to him and unhesitatingly put your head on his shoulder. “I would very much like to occupy that time slot if you’d let me.”

Twilight freezes. He’s been chosen. He can not so much as move a muscle or else if would throw you off. Like being a cat’s chosen spot for a nap, you mustn’t move. It’s illegal. 

“Do you have something in mind?” Twilight speaks on baited breath. He might be able to think of something to fill the time. If you’re asking to spend time with just him, then there’s many things that Twilight can think of to entertain you. There’s no corner of his heart that he wouldn’t turn over just to make you smile for a fraction of a second.

“Not really.” You admit and turn your head to look over at him. “Do you have any ideas? I’m not picky.”

Twilight hums, slowly wrapping his arm around you. Is this ok? Would you push him off? Well, you put yourself there, surely this isn’t crossing any boundaries.

“I have a few.” He admits, not wanting to jump on the chance like the excited puppy he feels himself becoming. If he had his tail it would be wagging like crazy. 

Sometimes he hates the traits the wolf had brought out of him and then he realize that if anything, the wolf itself was brought out first.

You poke his cheek and grin, startling him from his thoughts. “I mean, you’ve been thinking of stuff for a while now.”

“Well yes, but I was never sure if you wanted-” Twilight pauses and looks over to you. “....Yes. I like spending time with you.”

“Mhm.” You smirk, running your hand over the one that holds you. “Is that all?”

Twilight clears his throat, already feeling his bravado slipping. “What do you mean?”

“So all those little things you’ve done were... oh I don’t know... because you were the hero to save the day?” You looks away. It was possible...But at the same time, if he correct in guessing what you’re talking about... It’s not true.

“I see...” Twilight bite his lip. “And what made you suspect my feelings?” 

You seem to relax further into him and sigh. “It had to do with Wolfie. Now I love the dog, he’s a sweetheart and a good boy, but every time you came back and someone mentioned him, you would look at me. Like you were jealous.”

Twilgiht chokes on his spit.

“I couldn’t help but begin to ask myself if it was too good to be true.” You smiles shyly. “And then I asked Warrior and he said it was a clear as day. I didn’t want to take his word for it so I asked Time... who said almost the exact same things.”

“Last time I tell the Old Man anything.” Twilight mutters under his breath.

You laugh. ”So I was just waiting to see if you would do anything about it.”

“And if I never did?” He asks, afraid of the answer. Is it selfish of him? Yes. The right to do would be to move on, no matter if it hurts to hear or not.

“Hey, who just cleared your schedule, you or me?” You push him lightly. 

Twilight smiles. “Alright. Then let me show you around tomorrow then.”

“You better.”

Legend

Given his very open and shy way of trying to flirt with you, you didn’t think it was that much of a guess that there was some genuine feeling within it. So you got a bit more liberal with how you interacted with the Hero of Legend.

This did not help him in any way or form.

You had taken to walking closer to him, trying to ease your way into being beside him. When he seemed to be calm enough with your presence you tried talking to him.

That took longer than you thought it would.

It seems that Legend was more self conscious than you thought. Every time it came to you, he would clam up and try to avoid eye contact. Something about the way he flushed bright red each and every time told you that he was still thinking about the bet he lost.

It was cute. If annoying.

But you weren’t about to give up just yet!

When he was able to hold a conversation with you once more, you got a little bit closer.

Until one day you just bit the bullet and grabbed his hand.

Legend jerked it back as if you had burned him and hid it away from you. All conversation had died in that moment. And he was once again avoiding you. It was a miracle that he didn’t straight up run away.

You pout. Well that was disappointing. “Legend... did I do something wrong?”

“N-no.” Legend bites his lip. “Don’t worry about it.”

You worry about it anyway. You look at your hand, trying to figure out why he rejected it. “Was there something wrong with my hand?”

“Of course not.” Legend shakes his head, still looking down. “It was very soft.”

“Well you coulda fooled me. You certainly didn’t react that way.” You mutter.

You hadn’t intended for him to hear you, but he flinches. “Sorry.”

Slowly, he pulls his hands back from where they were. “I’m sorry.” He repeats himself. “It was pure reflex.”

“It’s fine.” You sigh, feeling like you might have ruined everything. You keep walking, but this time with your hands kept firmly by your sides.

You both walk in silence for the a few more moments. You’re lamenting internally about your ruined chances and how you might have been wrong this entire time about him. 

Legend was also busy kicking himself. Every now and then he would look over your way. He was nervous and feeling dumb. The answer was so simple and so genuine but he was afraid. But of what, he couldn’t tell you.

He knew that there was only one way to really fix this.

He huffed and puffed but managed to bring himself to do it.

Legend reaches over and pinches your sleeve. You hum and look down.

Legend moves his hand and slips his grip over your wrist before it shifts to hold your hand. You hold his back and look over to him with a grin.

He still can’t meet your eyes. “Just warn me next time.”

“Aww~! You do like me.” You swings your hands back and forth with a blinding smile.

“I do.” Legend smiles softly even if he still struggles to meet your eyes. “Just don’t tell anyone else.”

“Right, right.” You giggle. “Your secret is safe with me, Mr. Tough Guy.” 

Wind

Wind had been avoiding you a bit after the bet he lost. You didn’t know why. You thought everything was fine but he wasn’t even able to look you in the eye anymore. It was a bitter pill to swallow.

You missed your best friend.... Well your best friend was actually waiting for you to return home but within the group, Wind was your best friend and you missed him.

“Wind won’t talk to me.” You pout as you walk next to Warrior for the day. “I don’t know why.... Is it because I kissed his cheek?”

“Yes.” Warrior replies without missing a beat. “But that’s not necessarily a bad thing, you know.”

“It’s not?”

“Nope.” Warrior smiles easily. “He just needs to think some stuff through. But if continues bothering you, you should talk about it.”

You nod, falling silent once more. That made sense.

“Can’t he think faster?” You mutter, not expecting a response for that particular question.

Warrior hears it anyway and laughs. “We’re about to stop for lunch soon. Why not just talk to him then?”

You nod again and wait.

True to his word, Warrior was right to guess that you would get a break soon. You caught up to the ones at the front of the group and waited for those at the back to catch up.

When Wind finally made his way to the group, you b-lines toward him. His somewhat concerned gaze made you slow your step and your confidence tanked.

“Um...” You rubbed your arm, ignoring the stares of the entire group. They seemed incredibly invested in this for some reason. “Link... Can we talk?”

Wind also seemed nervous but he nods, ready to follow where ever you lead him.

When you get far enough from the group, you take in a deep breath hoping that no one followed you. You looked at him and take in the way he fidgets and avoids looking at you head on. He’s already flustered if the pink on his cheeks is anything to go by.

Warrior said to talk to him, but maybe you should have thought about what you wanted to say first. How do you started this?”

“I’m sorry.”

Wind snaps his face to meet your eyes head on. He looks shocked.

“I didn’t mean... Did I make things awkward?” You bite you lip. “Is it my fault?”

“Oh... Um...No...” Wind looks down again and scratches the back of his neck. “You didn’t make things awkward.”

“Well I feel awkward.” You admit. “You don’t talk to me. You run away from me. And I think it’s because I kissed your cheek... So... I’m sorry.”

“That’s not-!” Wind chokes on his spit. He jumped to correct you but had breathed down the wrong pipe in the process. He starts coughing up a storm and you pat his back to try and soothe the pain that no doubt forms. “That’s not it.”

You frown. All the signs point to that you made him uncomfortable. Shouldn’t you apologize for it? It’s technically your fault that you’re here. You tell him as such.

“No, no...” Wind flusters further. “I was trying to not make you feel uncomfortable.”

You don’t understand what he’s trying to get at. ”...What?”

Wind bite his lips. his eyes dart back and forth and you see he’s two seconds from pacing back and forth. “I just-! It was.... cute.. and nice... and soft..” His voice tapers off into a whisper the more he speaks. “I liked it more than I thought I would... and I didn’t want to make things weird by wanting to do it myself.”

You think you understand less. “...What?”

Wind groans and kisses your cheek without asking. “There. I did it. That’s what.”

You freeze- feeling your own blush form. Your finger tips go to touch the spot before you explode into giggles. “Oh... that’s not so bad.”

Wind acts like he just got smacked. “...It’s not?”

“Warrior was right.”

“... don’t say that. Ever again.”

You laugh louder and take his hand. “You’re silly.”

“I know.”

“But it was nice.” You grin and begin to lead him back to the group. “Now stop avoiding me, ok? I miss you.”

“I think I can do that.”

Warrior

“Warrior, calm down.” Four puts his hands out to placate the other boy. “What did they even say?”

“For me to know and you to never find out.” Warrior grins, tossing a solid red rupee on the growing pile of bets. “Take my cut. I bet a seven.”

“What does that have to do with-”

“Thank you! Be back soon!” He hollers, doing his best to run back to you now that he knows you’re waiting for him.

When he returns, you waiting with your hands on your hips and a unknown gleam in your eye. You seem to know what you’re doing. Warrior feels drawn to your gaze and he forces himself to slow down. “Ok, what is it?”

You grin and turn on your heel, not giving him a verbal response. You gesture your fingers in a come hither motion and Warrior follows like the sap he is.

You lead him away form the group, further into the tree line and away from both prying eyes and sensitive ears.

You turn to Warrior and wiggle your eyebrows.

Not sure how to take this change in developments, Warrior finds himself flustered but eager. Still, your change in demeanor is intriguing and hot. He blushes deeply.

“I’m sure you’re wondering what I have planned.” You say calmly, steeping into his personal space.

He gulps. “Yes.”

“And I’m sure you’re wondering if this has anything to do with what you very bravely decided to say to my face not too long ago.” You grin putting your hands on his forearms.

“Maybe.” He licks his lip unthinkingly. You’ve pinned his arms to his side. He’s willing trapped himself to you. Warrior has no idea where you’re going with this, but you have his full attention.

“And I’m also sure that you’ve been watching me a for a while now.” Your hands travel up his his arms and over chest. You’re being very brave yourself if you had to be honest. 

You’re purposefully going slow. Warrior assumes it’s just to be even more tantalizing than you already are and it’s making him inpatient. But you’re really just testing the waters of how far he’ll let you go.

“Was I that obvious?” Warrior places his hand on your hips now that you’ve freed them. He pulls you flush against him. 

“Maybe.” You’re eyes go wide with desire. Perhaps you’re the one he’s been waiting for this whole time. 

Your hands travel up his chest and rest on his shoulders. Warrior leans into your face. Your noses brush together in an hesitant dance. 

You can find it in yourself to grow bashful as Warrior has. You lean into it as well, running your hands even higher, cradling his head as you go. He hums in satisfaction. “...Admittedly I’m less certain about this.”

“About what?” He says quietly, slowly swaying with you in his arms.

“This. Us.” You reply in the same quiet tone.

“...And why’s that?” He’s calm even as he trouble looking you in the eye.

You have to think about it. This feels right. This feels good. Why is that you feel like something is missing?

“I can wait.” Warrior says after a moment of your silence. “I’ll always wait for you.”

You hum for a moment longer. You don’t want that.

You kiss him.

Hyrule

“Oh Hyruule~” You called, borderline skipping to his side.

You needn’t say anything else. Hyrule is already blushing before a single words leaves your lips.

The image seems to make you giggle and come close. “Hello.”

“Hi.” Hyrule smiles back at you but he struggles to meet your eyes. He hates how flustered he’s gotten around you. As if he couldn’t be more obvious.

“How are you today?” You take his arm and start walking with him.

Hyrule doesn’t know how exactly to deal with this turn of events. He’s already starting to lose his nerve, “I’m fine.”

You both walk in comfortable silence after that. At least, he’s sure that you think it’s comfortable since you smile never left your face. Hyrule can feel his nerves jump all over his skin and he’s not sure how he’s going make a fool out of himself this time.

“I’ve bene thinking.” You say and Hyrule gives you his attention without questions.

“About what?”

“A while ago you came to me and called me angle.” You smile up at him. “Remember that?”

As if he’s allowed himself to forget about it. Although he felt his insides curl up and die from the embarrassment, you had kissed his cheek. Even if he still cringes at the thought of his awkwardness, he had to admit, it was worth it.

“I do.” He admits. He remembers the entire thing beat for beat. It’s the only thing he can think of as of late.

“I still think you were very sweet.” You lean you head against him.

Hyrule’s heart starts to beat faster. He hopes you don’t notice. “Than you? I think?”

“Can I tell you something in return?” You give him a dazzling smile in return. Hyrule nods, unable to form words any longer. You poke his cheek. “I think that you’re a very good person. I want you to know that you’re very important to me. And that I like you very much.”

Hyrule nods, biting his lip harshly. Does he say he likes you back? Isn’t that just confessing? But you said you liked him. As friends, he’s sure.

“You’re overthinking.” You pout. “I just said that I like you and you’re not going to say anything.”

“Uh... I like you to.” Hyrule strangles out. “You’re important to me too. I treasure you.”

You pause and grin. “In that case, would you be willing to go with me to town tonight? I heard that had a great place to get some food at and I wanted to try it.”

His heart melts. You’re so precious. “Of course. I’d love to go with you.”

You jump in place excitedly and move in to kiss his cheek again. “Great! It’s a date!”

You dash away with wink and a throw of your hips. Hyrule watches you move away from him. He’s vaguely ware that his jaw is open and that he pays a little to much attention to the way you move, but you’ve once again mamabged to catch him off guard.

He thinks he loves you.

A sigh leaves his lips before he can stop himself. How can he deny you of anything? If you wanted him to go with you to into town he would have done so in a heart beat- wait-

Date?!

Time

Something changed between you and Time after that day.

At first you didn’t want to think too much about it. Your crush on the man wasn’t going to get in the way of being peaceable with him So what if he called you pretty and lovely. It have to mean anything. And you’re sure that it was because of that dumb game the boys were playing anyway.

But he’s taken to... being a little more physical with you.

It’s subtle but you’re almost certain that you’re almost always within arms reach of the man.

When you’re walking, he’s there ever so slightly brushing your hand with his as you walk.  If you eating, you’re next to him- almost thigh to thigh. You think you’re even sleeping closer to him nowadays.

The thought makes your mouth go dry.

To make matters worse you think that your crush is only growing more and more obvious. Does he know? Is that why he’s doing this? Or are you doing this? That’s a mortifying thought.

“Wait.” Time stops you from going forward.

You freeze in place and looks up at him. “Yes?”

He smiles and leans downwards, reaching just a bit top pluck a wayward leaf from your shirt. The gently tug by your side causes you to hold your breath. Time doesn’t seem to notice the way you hitch your breath. “You had a straggler.” 

“Thank you.” You take the leaf, brushing you fingertips with his. He tilts his head, tucking a bit of your hair behind your ear. “You’re welcome.”

Time smiles and turns to leave.

You can’t take much more of this tip toe game. You need to get to the bottom of it. Either he takes further or he ceases entirely. You’re heart is going to combust if nothing changes.

“Link.” You grab his hand. “Can I ask you something?”

Now it’s his turn to freeze. “Of course.”

“You once called me pretty.”

“I did.”

“Did you mean it?”

“I did.”

“You once called me lovely.”

“I did.”

“Did you mean it?”

I did.”

You stomp your foot and pull him towards you. You’re entirely sure why you did it. “Why?” You ask him. “You’ve never said that to me before.”

That seems to throw time for a loop. you think you catch his eyeline dip to where your lips ear instead of looking you in the eye. “Because it’s true.”

“And the boys didn’t tell you to do that?” You raise an eyebrow.

“That would be cruel.” Time says. “I may have lost the game that day but I have been tell you that for a while now.”

“Do you mean that?” You lean into his space.

He looks away. You can see the way his jaw clenches.

“Link.” You press. “Would you have told me that?”

He doesn’t answer as quickly as you’d like.

You let him go and sigh- ignoring the hurt you didn’t know it would cause. “Alright.”

You start to walk away but he pulls you back. It’s rougher than he intends and you crash against his chest. “Please.” He says. “I’m not one to speak easily. I...wanted to... But I don’t know if I ever would without the push.”

You hum and rap your arms around his neck. “In that case...Is this ok?”

He nods and chances a kiss to your forehead. “Is this ok?”

“Absolutely.” 

Four

Four was walking on clouds for the rest of the week.

The memory of you kissing his cheek was on replay the entire time. The spot still tingled with the sensation whenever he thought about it. Because of it, he was having harder times concentrating and found himself staring at you from a distance with soft features and smitten gazes.

It was beginning to get on the nerves of those in the know.

“Is anyone going to do something about this?” Hyrule asks quietly, away from ear shot. “He’s been all smiles for days. Was this supposed to happen?”

“Well...” Warrior scratches the back of his head. “Yes and no. Did anyone see up close what they said to him?”

“Nope.”

“I didn’t.”

“Not a clue.”

“I got a picture.” Wild speaks up with an ear to ear grin. “I was hoping someone would notice. I’ve been holding onto this.”

The boy instantly crowd around the boy. “Show us! Show us!” They cry. “We want to know.”

With a smirk, Wild pulls up the photo taken at just the right moment. Your eyes are closed where as Four’s are wide open. Your lips are placed delicately on his cheek. Shock covers the entirety of Four’s face but you couldn’t seem to care less about your actions.

“Oh.” Hyrule clears his throat a bit. “That explains a lot actually.”

Warrior whistles. “No wonder his head has been up in the clouds. I didn’t know the boy scored.”

Wild shuts it off before anyone can get near to see his blackmail treasure. “You’re welcome.”

You jumped next to the boy, startling them all. “Whatcha looking at?”

“AH!” Wild manly screams. “I’m sorry, what did you say?”

Hyrule snickers at the timing.

“Wild showed us a picture of The Lord of the Mountain, he calls it.” Warrior shrugs, seemingly nonplused by the interruption. “I’ve never seen a creature like it. I wouldn’t be able to tell what it is truly, except a once in a lifetime creature.”

Wild nods in haste. While it was a lie, Wild had shown Warrior a picture of the same creature earlier that week. He licks his lips in an subconscious tell. “Did I show you? I don’t remember.”

You shake your head and lean over to see it.

Wild panics a bit, hoping that you don’t see the picture in the icons in the sides. He pulls it up and you ‘ooo’ and ‘aaa’. “Pretty.”

“Not as much as you.” Four speaks as he passes, not missing a beat.

You jump, not dissimilar to how Wild did moment prior and your attention snaps to the blacksmith as he walks away. “Hey!” You call out, a flushed look to your cheeks. “That’s not fair!”

“But it’s completely true!” He calls back.

“Oh my goodness...” You huff but don’t seem to mind it too much. “He’s been doing this more often even since you all played the stupid game. I have to catch up with him. Very nice, Wild. Thank you for showing me.”

You leave quickly, attempting to catch up with Four. “I can’t believe you, cheater! Didn’t you say that it was only when Legend was nearby-”

“I couldn’t keep myself from being honest.” Four reaches for your hand and laces your fingers together.

The other boys stare in astonishment, watching them get further and further away.

“Oh that’s our fault.” Warrior blinks.

Hyrule and Wild nod in tandem. 

“But they look happy at least.”

Wild

You and Wild walk away for a while. Neither of you say anything until you both find a nice clearing amongst the forest flowers.

“Ooh, pretty.” You beam and let go of Wild to pick some of them up.

Wild watches you blissfully, happy that he hadn’t made a total fool of himself. “We can press them in a book, if you’d like?”

You snap your head back to him and nod. “I used to do that back home with my mother. But I had to stop when she got sick.”

“Yeah?” Wild sits down next to you. “Well we can save the flower in my sheikah slate if you’d like. They’d last longer until we can find a good book to use.”

“You’d let me.” You turn to him and lean in close. “Are you sure?”

Wild narrows in on the distance that remains and nods, swallowing hard. “Of course.”

“You’re very kind.” You smile, watching his every reaction. “And you know... I wanted to ask you something.”

You lean away. Wild breathes as if he hadn’t been able to do that the entire time. “What is it?”

“I wanted to know why the boys told you to flirt with me.” You back your smirk.

Wild pales and finds himself falling backwards. Luckily, he was already on the ground. He manages to catch himself before he lose himself. “Um... I don’t know either.”

“I believe you do.” You answer simply. You don’t look at him, too enthralled with the flowers in front of you. “If only you wouldn’t react that way if you were clueless.”

Wild gulps again. “...They... you know how they can be.” He laughs, trying to play it off. “I think they were trying to pull our legs.”

You hum, and begin to braid the flowers together. “And that has nothing to do with you staring at me more and more?”

Wild pales even further, if it was possible. “I’m sorry.”

You laugh. “It’s not necessarily a bad thing. I’m just asking.”

Wild looks away. His blush slowly begins to consume his face. “I can’t help it. You’re just... very pretty... and your skin looks soft... And you are very nice to look at...”

“You’re very nice to look at as well.” You say with a smile, not looking at him.

“I didn’t mean to be obvious.” Wild admits as he scratches the back of his head. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”

“On the contrary.” You pick up another flower and braid it into your chain. “I quite liked your attention.”

Wild freezes and shifts his vision towards you. “Oh really?”

“Yes.” You say with a smile on your face. “If you haven’t noticed I was trying to look extra pretty whenever you looked my way.”

“Were you now?” Wild leans a little closer to you.

You close the distance and flop backwards. Your head lands in his lap and look up to him with a wide smile. “Absolutely.”

Wild freezes again and slowly- every so slowly, places his hand in you hair, petting you gently. “What else did you notice that I failed to do subtly?”

“You always seemed to want to hold my hand and be near me.” You say confidently. You’re rewarded when Wild loses his nerve to look at you. You’re correct in your statement.

“Anything else?” He tries again.

“You’re very sweet to me.” You continue, placing your finished flower crown at the top of his head. “And I’d very much like to kiss you.”

Wild short circuits. 

You lean up close to his face and grin. “May I?”

“Yes. Don’t even ask.”

[hyperfixations-and-hecticness]

Something that interests me so much about the Hunger Games in a meta manner is the arenas, particularly those of the Quarter Quells. Because, of course, the arena is different every year to make it interesting but it’s also carefully adapted for the Quarter Quells. For example, during the 2nd QQ, there are twice the normal quantity of tributes and so the arena is deadlier than normal. It’s been a while since my last reread but iirc everything ‘edible’ in the arena is poisonous as well as all the animals being deadly. Because they want the games to last a certain length of time and they don’t want them to drag on too long. Some are just canon fodder. And because these guys are probably more worried about the fact they’ve got 47 other competitors, they aren’t thinking about the terrain as much as they should.

When the games are filled with 24 killers, 24 survivors, 24 people who have played the games and know how they work, the arena is deadly. But not in the same way as before. Because these guys aren’t as naive as the 48 in the 2nd QQ. They don’t trust the Capitol or the arena. So instead, the game is a different kind of deadly. There’s no way for anyone to rest properly, they all have to keep moving. The sleep deprivation in theory making it easier to make mistakes and also making it absolutely necessary for people to team up, because of course it’ll be so fun to then inevitably watch the teams break down.

Idk I wish we had gotten more books for previous tributes or short stories but I’m particularly interested by the arenas and QQs in a very macabre manner. I mean the first one too, voting for tributes is just such a horrifying concept.

[markbandanawitts]

A Full English Translation of Mine Yoshizaki’s 47 Question QnA 🔥🔥

— Near the end of the 11.5 Guidebook, Yoshizaki sat down for an exclusive interview with Shonen Ace (The magazine that serialized Keroro Gunso), where he answered some personalized questions about himself

I’ve translated all of them along with giving some context to certain media references in this w attached links. he’s talks exactly how you’d expect lmao

Q1: Yoshizaki-sensei, people often seem to think you’re a woman.

I guess it’s because my name reads as “Mine.” When I chose it, I only had the image of Ryuta Mine in my head. But judging by Keroro’s behavior, I think it’s pretty clear I’m not a woman (laugh)

Q2: What was the first manga you bought?

I had my uncle buy me one copy each of Kiteretsu Encyclopedia and Obake Q-Taro. I used to borrow Doraemon from a rental bookstore.

Q3: Do you still have them?

Nah, even if I did, they’d be unreadable by now. I reread them so much they fell apart.

Q4: Do you have a favorite place to read?

I haven’t been reading too much lately, but I love to in a quiet, cozy café.

Q5: Has anything recently made you feel like you’ve been tricked?

Actually, yeah. Not too long ago, a friend took me on a small trip. We hopped on the highway and drove quite a bit, and I had no idea why we were going where we were; but it was fun, so I didn’t think much of it. Later, when I got home and watched the episode of Kamen Rider Hibiki that I’d recorded that morning, I realized the episode was filmed in the exact spot we had visited! My friend hadn’t said a word! It caught me completely off guard, but honestly, it kind of made me pretty happy too.

Q6: Is there a character you look up to?

Oh, definitely Saeki-san (laugh)

Q7: Keroro’s gotten really popular. Anything about that make you happy?

Hearing that everyone involved with Keroro is having fun working on it is what makes me happy.

Q8: On the flip side, anything tough about it?

It seems like working on Keroro is also kind of exhausting (laugh)

Q9: If you could be any character in Keroro, who would you choose?

Maybe Poyon-chan. She seems so nice and fluffy.

Q10: Who would you like to live with?

I’d say the new characters, Alisa-chan and Nevula.

Q11: Why them in particular?

I feel like we could have a nice, quiet time in an old Western-style mansion.

Q12: Is there any invention from Kururu that you’d want?

Oh, definitely that one thing for making Gundam models!

Q13: What’s your favorite part of the manga drawing process?

Definitely when it’s finally completed (laugh)

Q14: What’s the toughest part?

Getting started (laugh)

Q15: What do you think of the illustrations in the first volume of Keroro?

What do I think? Well, it was my best effort seven years ago. There's something beyond just thinking "it's bad." Especially for Keroro, since I challenged myself to break my previous style and start from scratch, so there are definitely some awkward parts in there.

Q16: When do you draw the cover illustrations? At the beginning, in the middle, or at the end?

The inking is random, so it varies every time.

Q17: Do you pay attention to differentiating characters?

Sometimes I intentionally try not to differentiate them visually. I make their personalities distinct, so that can create a sense of difference. I’ve even tried going against silhouette theory a bit, which is directly reflected in characters like Keroro.

Q18: Which is more fun to draw, Keronians or Earthlings?

Keronians’ round eyes are a hassle, and Earthlings have too many lines... It’s a toss-up (laugh)

Q19: What about secondary characters? Which ones are fun to draw?

Every character becomes lively as soon as I draw them, so it's fun. To me, they’re all waiting in line to be drawn!

Q20: Any tips for drawing something you’ve never seen before?

Draw with your eyes closed!

Q21: Do you do anything to improve your drawing skills?

Since I started working, not really. I draw every day, so whatever I’m bad at stays bad, which can be a bit of an issue.

Q22: When creating a manga, do you start with the characters, story, or setting?

The theme. Something that instinctively feels like "that's it!" The rest comes after that.

Q23: When do you come up with story ideas?

I thrash my ideas around, trying to come up with something, and eventually, once I reach the mandatory state of resignation, it comes to me (laugh)

Q24: Which takes more time, storyboarding or drawing?

Storyboarding!

Q25: If you had to sum up the feeling of struggling to come up with storyboards in one word?

Ugh.

Q26: What’s something essential while you work?

Coffee, probably.

Q27: You’ve never taken a break from publishing, but do you ever want to? If so, when?

I always feel like I want to! Every single time, no matter what!

Q28: When do you usually draw your manga—morning, afternoon, or night?

My schedule is all over the place. I live on a 25-26 hour cycle, so when my timing is off, it tends to mess things up for a lot of people. It makes planning pretty difficult too.

Q29: What’s your favorite manga that you’ve drawn so far?

Definitely Keroro Gunso.

Q30: Do you think you’re better suited for one-shot manga or long series?

Considering the amount of ideas on my brain when working on Keroro storyboards, I think I’m better suited for long series.

Q31: Are you currently thinking about your next manga project?

Ideas come and go, honestly. Right now, I’m putting all my effort into Keroro!

Q32: Do you like your own manga?

When it comes to Keroro, I like it without hesitation.

Q33: If you were an editor, what would you tell yourself?

“You can take a three month break if you want.”

Q34: Are you comfortable with drawing manga in front of people?

I’m totally fine with it! But in reality, I usually work alone, holed up in my workspace.

Q35: Do you do anything for your health?

Not really… It’s bad… I feel like I’ve been sending out SOS signals lately (laugh)

Q36: Do you have any stress relief methods?

I never considered myself to be stressed, but recently my eye started twitching, and apparently, that’s a sign of stress. I was kind of surprised when I found that out!

Q31: There are 24 hours in a day, but how many hours would you really want?

48 hours would be great!!

Q38: Is there anything that influences your manga drawing?

I’m most influenced by the general atmosphere of the world around me.

Q39: How would you describe the feeling of racing through Okutama on your bike?

Yahoo!

Q40: Anything that’s stuck with you or left a strong impression recently?

The insurance commercial with soccer commentator Matsuki has really stuck with me… As for things, I’m obsessed with the NSF100 motorcycle— I want it so bad!

Q41: A memorable quote that’s stuck with you?

“Ramen is long and delicious!” (I have literally no idea what he’s referencing here my bad guys)

Q42: Since getting your cat, Mac, has your life changed?

My lifestyle hasn’t really changed, but it feels like my heart’s OS has been upgraded by about three versions!

Q46: Do you like traveling?

I like it, but I haven’t gone anywhere recently. If I could, I’d love to go with all my friends.

Q43: What’s the most wasteful thing you’ve ever spent royalties on?

Royalties, huh... (laugh) The other day, I saw a Keroro bath towel in a UFO catcher machine, and I had to get it. I ended up blowing ¥2,000* and still didn’t win it. I wonder if my royalties will cover that…

*this is like $14 😭

Q45: What are the things you love the most?

The Earth, my wife, and Mac (my cat).

Q46: What’s the most shocking thing you’ve experienced?

When I first moved to Tokyo, I saw an elementary school kid at Yotsuya Station wearing a backpack and smoking a cigarette. I thought, “Wow, Tokyo’s scary. Maybe I should just go home.” But I’m glad I didn’t because I became a manga artist (laugh)

Q47: What does drawing manga mean to you?

It’s about making people happy. That concept hasn’t changed since I was a kid making hand-drawn manga for my friends in elementary school.

Anddd heres my impressively terrible scans of those pages just in case anyone wanted the source

[skyward-floored]

I think I’m coming down with a cold again and possibly have a fever but I’m here to scream about the update some more anyway! (and analyze a bit but mostly scream). Dawn part 7 here we go!

(All images belong to @linkeduniverse <3)

First off I have to say this was my favorite panel I think, it’s so pretty. The faint glow! The colors! The cape over his shoulder! Amazing. This truly was Sky’s update, I loved every bit of focus he got. Jojo fed us well :D

So it looks like I was wrong about Sky reading everyone’s mail. He just immediately took off after the mailman instead (and spent all morning chasing him ha!),

Side note but I love the npc guy. He’s simple but still Zelda-y. the character design in this comic is just👌

Looks like the mailman has a list of who he’s supposed to deliver to, or at least that’s my guess. It could be a map maybe, but that probably wouldn’t do much good since he’s time traveling?? How does he do it. Don’t question the magic of the postman I guess.

*green hill zone music intensifies*

Shoutout to Sky’s face here, I make the same expression when I’m trying to chase after my nephew and stop him from eating crayons

This looks like a postcard no joke, I'd frame this and put it on my wall. Plus the way the trees were done in the background is really neat, there’s something just really pleasing about this panel. Also the return of Sky: Just Standing There

They’re all bein silly <3

...except for Four. Because I think him and Warriors both realize that Sky isn’t just telling them what he was doing all morning— he’s got something important to say, something they all actually need to know.

(Downfall duo laughing together I love them)

Also I agree with everyone saying Warriors is close to snapping— they’ve all had a pretty stressful 24 hours, but Warriors has been breaking up arguments and repeatedly checking on everyone while they’re struggling, and... I don’t think he’s had a break. Take a nap bud, please?

SKY TALKING TO FI MY BELOVED he's hoping there’s enough of her aware to help him dowse hhhhh. And then he’s so sad she didn’t seem to hear him waahhh 😭

It doesn’t look to me like she truly helped much, but maybe Fi gave just enough of a nudge for Sky to find the postman’s footprints? Even in her sleep? She is glowing just a bit there... Interesting to think about.

It’s confirmed that the postman uses the portals! And that the Shadow is alive and kicking! Uh-oh! (Also does anyone else think this one seems more... firey? Then the last one? Maybe it's just me).

And the chopped-off darknut head is still there too.... and I’ll bet you twenty rupees somebody is going to kick it when the Links go through the portal later. (My guess is Wild but I’d put my money on Legend or Wind too).

I’m also really curious where that portal leads... My guess is either Twilight’s Hyrule or Sky’s, based on what hints we’ve been getting, but I really don’t know. It’ll be fun to see!

*Wind rapidly thinking of at least three conspiracy theories*: SUS

Also an amazing expression from him I’m laughing so hard, he really said 3:<

Tag yourself I’m Four

Also Sky just chugging away at the stamina potion, poor guy XD he must be beat from all that running around, I hope he has some more time to sit before the Links get moving.

(And I mentioned this in another post, but Legend looks so alarmed at this information, as does Wild... it’s not going to be pretty when they cross paths with the Shadow again, that’s for sure)

I love when Time breaks out the dramatic language... makes me remember that this guy is going to be the Hero’s Shade someday (who’s speech is 99% dramatic things).

Now the Links just have to decide what to do next... will they stay another day at the inn for Twilight’s sake, or get moving right away? Is Four going to confront Twilight about the dark magic he uses to turn into Wolfie?

So many questions... but in the meantime I will gladly continue to reread this amazing update, I really loved this one :D

[ficnoire2]

A Little Legendborn/Bloodmarked

Top 10 Selwyn Kane Moments

Happy Gemini Season!  What better time to reflect on my favorite chaotic, angsty, and delightfully poetic Cambion.  Sel has given us so many moments that either made us want to ask “Who the F@$K you talking to?”, want to give him an all encompassing full bodied squeeze, or left our jaws on the floor at his assholery or reverent sweetness.  Whatever the case, Selly knows how to make an entrance and leave an impression.  There are so many Selwyn Kane moments that live rent free while hiking up the thermostat in my mind, but here are my top 10.  Hope you enjoy!

10. Weirdo in The Woods 

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.  A wry voice from behind startles me and sends a few birds, hidden in the canopy above, squawking into the sky.  I hadn’t seen anyone approach through the underbrush, but a tall, dark-haired  boy leans casually against the tree as if he’d been there the whole time; arms over his chest and black combat boots crossed at the ankles.”

When I read this scene, I could not believe the level of nerve and confidence this dude had.  The lurking in the darkness was creepy as hell and then he upped the ante by putting his pale paws on Bree!  I thought “Why the fuck is he touching her!?”  I had to reread to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating.  Not only did he have a smart ass, arrogant vibe, but getting handsy to boot?  We would have been rolling around in the woods… and I don’t mean the fun way. 

9. Dripping Wet at The Door

“Half a second after that I’m struck thoughtless-because Sel flings the door open wearing nothing but a deeply annoyed expression and a pair of low-slung jeans.  I can’t help but follow the banded muscles from his abdomen to his chest.  Intricate black and gray tattoos encircle his arms, cover his shoulders, and connect in a Celtic knot on his breastbone.”

This delightful turning point had me squealing with antici…pation.  Tracy’s got some nerve really.  I remember being this age, and having an angsty, beautiful, asshole fling open the door half naked would have been a problem.  This was the point where Sel begins to soften for Bree.  The point where the two of them set off on a journey of personal discovery and develop a deeply intimate bond. They share a moment of realization about their mothers and how parallel that loss runs, about Nick, and about their own relationship.  I loved this moment so much because their masks begin to slip ever so slightly.  Bree being able to recognize the grief in Sel that she had become accustomed to, was beautifully written.  It gave us a bit of depth into his inner chaos and the pain that drives him.

8. The Gala/Kneel

“He admires my hair, taking in the size and shape of it, then his eyes follow the line of my temple to my borrowed earrings, down my neck and shoulders.  ‘You look stunning this evening Briana, it’s the truth,’ he says with a shrug.  ‘You do.  Even Though you’re distraught’.”  

“I’m not distraught.”

“He leans down so close that his lips brush against my ear when he whispers, ‘Liar’.”

This moment was so delicious. First, the way Sel takes her into his senses is divine.  His attention to detail in everything he does, whether in his detective work or being a silver-tongued devil, encompasses a space.  The act of admiring Bree’s appearance, covering every inch of her face and hair was top notch adoration. The two of them dancing at the gala was playful and intimate. I mean, telling someone you can smell their magic is…next level.  Bree was tuned into his very essence and he responded in kind, whispering LIAR in her ear as his lips brushed the delicate flesh, splaying his hands across her back knowing the heat from them radiated   through her gown.  Admiring all that she was becoming to him. Not to mention turning her around to face Nick while holding her at the hips, and whispering in her ear as he stewed across the room. It wouldn’t be right if he didn’t put a little Selly in it.

“I fight against Arthur’s will, but he will not yield-not on this.  He demands obeisance.  Homage. And deference.  Especially after Davis’ public betrayal.  Thankfully, no one moves.  Then someone does."

"No," I whisper, because I don’t want to hear it.  But when Sel speaks, his voice is strong and clear.

"Y llinach yw’r ddeddf."

"The Line is Law.”

In the Ogof we get another glimpse of what makes Sel tick. The fact that he is so married to the idea of honor and procedure (to a fault) shines in these moments because of what he is constantly willing to do to show his care for Bree. It is telling when he witnesses Bree pull Excalibur and he falls right in step with his duty to his King.  When he is the one to kneel and speak before her, it is because of duty and procedure yes, but his devotion for her leaps off the page.  

7. Mother

“Suddenly, Sel is on his feet. He paces to the end of the room, the back of his hand pressed hard against his mouth like doesn’t trust what could come out of himself.  It takes everything in me to stay seated when he kicks his closet door and the wood splinters into a boot shaped hole.”

On the heels of coming to the door half naked, we begin to see some of Sel’s inner turmoil made real.  Unpacking this a bit, we know Sel has been lied to and we are watching in real time how it hits him.  He is dutiful, procedural, and used to being in control in some respect.  He seems to enjoy the fact that he is needed, deep down, he wants to be wanted, not out of duty, but out of sheer enjoyment of his company, his being.  This revelation about his mother causes his mask to slip.  The hard exterior cracks enough that Bree is able to seep into the jagged edges, and he lets her, if only briefly.  This was such a revealing moment because it is one of many instances that they see not only each other, but also themselves mirrored in one another.

6. Cariad

“I feel Sel’s attention on my cheeks-and wonder when the sparks in his eyes had become a comforting heat…’You are my king now, cariad.’ His voice carries all the intimacy of a caress and his eyes are a melted gold.  I turn away, overwhelmed at the meaning in both.”

I don’t know why I didn’t have sense enough to Google what cariad meant at the time I first read Legendborn.  Perhaps it was because Tracy blew my wig back with the story of Briana Irene, that I needed a moment to collect my thoughts.  This was the point in the story that Selwyn vocalized his feelings for Bree.  It was another peak at the vulnerability he would ever so slightly let come out to play.  And because our Selwyn is precise, his intent (in my opinion) was also.  He has studied Bree, yet she still mystifies him, challenges him.  Calling her cariad, however, was laced with a bit of challenge in and of itself.  He knows she is determined and inquisitive and if she really wanted to know she would do what needed to be done to find out.  We also get that at that moment she was not ready to know, despite her curiosity.  It was just enough of a breadcrumb for her to follow, if SHE chose to.  Also, his sense of duty and willingness to accept her as King even when the order so readily wanted her gone when she did not serve their purpose or fit their shitty standards.  It was such a sweet, quiet moment after all they had been through that left us hanging onto that balcony for dear life. 

5. The Not So Safe, Safe House Bathroom

“Can I tell you a secret, Briana?” His voice slips into the sliver of air between us, silk and heat. “ I like hearing the way people respond to me.  A pause. You in particular.”  

“It’s involuntary.”

“Oh, I know.” His mouth quirks…..Sel’s amusement skips across my cheeks.  “See something you like?”

First of all, telling someone, ANYONE, that you like hearing the way people respond to you is full on iconic, sex demon realness.  Excuse me, sir?  You just walk around doing shit to tie folks up in flustered knots? Kick your combat booted feet up and watch your handiwork?   And you like it?  My kind of fun!  The way Joniece Abbott Pratt (she voices our favesl in the books) reads this scene is so deliciously spicy and devilish.  She put an extra bit of Sazon on it.  It was the closeness for me.  He knew what he was doing (aside from mesmering Bree to oblivion) , caging her between his arms and enveloping her in full on Cambion heat.  It is almost as if the tease is more fun.  Taking off his shirt to pull her in. Catching her gaze in the mirror.  Acting like he can’t put tape on his wounds (because of course a dude who can forge shit out of thin air can’t operate tape!), telling her he likes how her body is responding, asking her if she sees something she likes!  Bree has the resolve of a bug that hangs onto your windshield while you are doing 90 on the freeway. 

4. Sel’s Birthday Surprise (Cariad Part Two)

“Okay.  All right.  His voice is low and soothing.  He takes a slow step closer with an outreached hand, as if waiting for me to bolt.  “This isn’t an interrogation.  I am sorry.  It is your birthday.  And I had questions…but I don’t want you to leave.” His fingers wrap around mine, and he rubs a slow circle across my palm with his thumb."  

 I nod.  “Okay.” 

“Let’s keep this simple?” He smiles softly.  “Tell me what you learned about cariad?”  

Talk about a full circle moment.  For damn near two books, this man has been stewing about cariad and why Bree had not mentioned it again.  After being attacked by Jonas, and Bree begins to speak a bit of Welsh to William, I could almost envision Sel saying “Yeah, you over here practicing with William, but what about that cariad shit though?”  Ok, I know he wouldn’t have said it that way, but sometimes I read with my own voice in my head.  First of all, the planning.  The fact that he discovered a hidden gem in the woods with fireflies no less, and decided to make it a present (not a gift) to honor Bree’s birthday was delightful.  Plus being in the woods seems to be his happy place.   It was full circle in more ways than one because when we meet Sel (in the woods yet again) he is the epitome of ASSHOLE. This scene showed us how far the two of them had come and let us see that he truly values how Bree sees him and how much he wants her to have joy.  It seems like everytime these two are in the woods they have some sort of revelation.  The way he teases kisses on each cheek, then her forehead (third eye) showed us that he was done hiding and wanted her to fully understand the depth of his feelings.  And when she takes the kiss she wants, he responds in kind letting himself have the wish he has been denying himself by Merlin twirling her into the tree bark and KISSING HER DOWN!  Then, not only does he stop himself, but stops to watch the effect he is having on her, while telling her he likes it.  Damn you Selwyn Kane!  

3. Sharing Root With Bree/Most Gifted Merlin in a Generation

“Sel gasps, head thrown back as my aether climbs up his forearms, spiraling around his elbows.  For a moment, it feels like I’m wrapped around him.  His eyes snap open, and then he’s on his feet, bringing his hands together so the flames spread faster.  FWOOOM!  We explode together.”

I was shouting in my car listening to this scene.  Sel had been manacled by Erebus (to Valec’s amusement).  I remember thinking “Ain’t no way they are going out like this!” This was an edge of your seat, shout at the screen, moment.  The way he was in sync with Bree and knew exactly what to do when she shared her root was the boost I needed in that moment.  Sel was back like he never left!  Hair all shiny and shit!  The unspoken communication, the desperation in his eyes when he thought it wasn’t working was equal parts nerve wracking and rage inducing.  Plus, the whole scene was infused with a hint of sexy Cambion tension.  That last line is a double entendre if you ask me.  What better way to explode together than to blow Erebus’ ass back into the opportunistic shadows from whence he came?

“I’m not gonna….”

“Yes, you are!”  The muscles work in his jaw.  His eyes shine-he blinks it away.  “You are.  You just have to hold on a little longer, Bree.  For me–”  His eyes are fixed on my side, a strained grimace on his face.  His hands hover an inch above my flesh.  Aether shimmers in the space between my body and his palms in a thin layer.”

“Don’t move,” he grits out.”

“What are you…”

“I’ve got you.  Stay with me.”

“The floating dullness claims me again, but Sel’s magic is there on the edges, keeping the darkness at bay.”

“Stay with me, Bree.”

On the coattails of the high I felt when Sel and Bree took Erebus out of the game (if only temporarily), was the accompaniment of Sel holding Bree together for three hours when she was nearly killed by demons in the woods.  I tell you, Tracy knows how to make you feel the discomfort and pain of constant loss.  No sooner than I cheered for the two of them, before I knew it I was biting my nails again.  The terror he feels here is palpable.  Nick has just run away from both of them.  He has just done the seemingly impossible and made a root bomb (untrained move) with Bree to stave off Erebus.  Now he is at the threshold of loss yet again.  I can’t imagine having all of that occur in the span of 30 minutes.  Not only that, he creates tiny aether constructs to serve as medical aid for Bree not knowing how long he can maintain it while pushing down the hurt and fear.  Even Valec thought she was not savable.  Thought only to be able to use his aether for violence, it was beautiful to see Sel use his aether to sustain life.  It really hints at how special his abilities are and how much about himself outside of the order’s grip he doesn’t know.  When he says, “I’ve got you” and “Stay with me,” I had to step away from the book for a hot lil minute. 

2. No Other Merlin 

“No other Merlin can protect you like I can, because no other Merlin feels about you the way I do.  I want you to live, because I want you to be happy.  Not because of a spell, but because so very many things would break and go dark if you weren’t in the world.  Myself included.”

Can we talk about how down bad Selly is here?  Like, the boy is threw! I say “Gah damn!” everytime I read and/or listen to these words. He let her know, “Ain’t nobody got you like I got you!”  Something about the most powerful and gifted Merlin of his generation saying he would break and go dark if Bree was not in the world.  Sheesh! It’s the kind of soul-bearing that makes you sit up straight.  Have you rethinking your whole approach to life.  That is a far cry from questioning how she managed to keep ending up in his path.  A far cry from trying to wipe her off the face of the earth!  I love this scene because at this point we are seeing the power and effect of experiencing softness, love, care.  Being touched and him letting the wave of vulnerability settle in.  The willingness to lay himself bare in front of her despite his many fuck ups.  He told her, I want you to be happy even if I am not the one, just as long as you are here.  Tracy certainly wrote him hella mannish! But in all seriousness, this was a bar.  Had that man pouring out his soul in the middle of the woods.

1. Worth This and More 

“Merlin crawls on hands and knees.  ‘Just know Briana Matthews,’ he says, ‘That you are worth this and more.’ Without a second’s hesitation, he pulls me close enough that we nearly kiss-and inhales my power into his body.  Devours it whole.”

This scene hit me right in the gut for so many reasons.  It was the culmination of all that Selwyn had learned, endured, and sacrificed…for Bree.  Despite how much he had risked throughout Bloodmarked, he was still ready and willing to risk even more for her.  Pure veneration and sacrifice just for her.  In the Ogof, he kneeled to Bree and here he crawls to her, spent, and wants her to know that even at this moment he would do it again without question.  The poetry in how he approaches her.  The juxtaposition of kissing her in the woods and losing himself to that moment (even though briefly), giving in to that bit of euphoria and vulnerability, to losing himself as we know him totally, by devouring her root.  Because he knew the cost of that act and did it anyway, nearly did me in!  Tracy wrote the hell out of that and it is one of the chapters I have a hard time going back to.  Something about reaching a point of seemingly no return and pushing forward against all odds because you love the person before you so deeply. 

 No other Merlin indeed. 

What’d you think? I think I kicked Gemini season off right!  What are your favorite Selwyn Kane moments? What lives rent free in your head?  I am so excited that there are two more books to look forward to.  For me, those are more opportunities to talk my shit! 

Also, in case you missed it, here are my Top 10 Briana Matthews Moments

Happy Gemini Season Y'all!!!!

[vargaslovinghours]

EleVeN!11!!1! (1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 10½)

Fuzzy Edgar forever. I don’t remember the context now, maybe there wasn��t any to begin with haha, he’s just so cute with slightly longer hair! And upset :)

Some Diaryfic snuggles ♥ Scriabin can be so sweet to him at the worst time ah, I love Edgar’s hard on his arm and Scriabin’s pulling his hair out of his injured eye 💕

While I was very inspired by the Red Flags meme going around (we’ll get there), I was just as inspired by Mixed Messages - this exchange is so silly and them to me. He’s just trying to flirt back, you don’t have to make it harder! That’s just what Scriabin does haha

🥐 🖕 D:’

What else did you expect Scriabin to do with texting capabilities?? I’m still very enamoured with the thought of Scriabin using emojis and Edgar using emoticons - they are sort of different generations!

Here’s the Red Flags! So gd catchy, damn lol. I was specifically inspired by the X is on a date with themself edits, it was so tempting to consider a Ladyverse version as well haha. Edgar’s uncomfortable smiles were so incredibly fun hehe ♪

Y’see because with that many eyes- you get it

Edgar’s little “Or do I??” makes me laugh haha, anything to get out of this situation!

Waiter Jake ❤️💕💖💞💗 Rescue him!

Very inspired by this one specifically, he’s totally innocent! Not offputting at all! ♥

Alright well good luck with that bye. I love Edgar being menaced into continuing this date hehe ♫

Scriabin just keeping on the pressure for this date to keep going! Slight neg in “Couldn’t you have dressed up a little nicer though? ✨” pft

Brief aside with Scriabin!Edgar out drinking with my OC Mint who has very openly had a crush on the Vargases for a while now, thanks Mint

Honestly it was all just an excuse to turn him down and have Scriabin call Edgar his “landlord” haha; I was feeling nostalgic and went back to reread some old YuGiOh fics and had been so long away that I forgot that was a term used in the fandom to refer to the bodies of people the various Yamis would take over hehe ♪ It felt very fitting!

I can call him that but don’t you call him that >:(

Angy Scriabin!Edgar, the usual

Handplates re/reading doodles!! Hghgh!!! The theses of these stories of codependent relationships cut me to my very core I’ll have you know 💕 I managed to avoid falling down the rabbit hole of Handplates!Vargas but I was this close, lemme tell you. The subtle shift in phrasing changes so much ;; I love them dearly

A kind-of leftover WOY style Scriabin, since I made his hair all pointy in my first doodles - the WOY style is quite soft and round! He looks very silly hehe

Another song that is, yes, unironically in my Vargas playlist. This is a Nny song to me and you can pry it from my cold dead correct hands. That beautiful facial hair ♪

More Handplates/Vargas, this time obviously inspired by my holiday request 💕💖💞 I honestly rather like how calm Gaster seems whenever he’s in Edgar’s vicinity, he is a fairly unassuming human haha. Is it because he doesn’t laugh very often? Oh no that’s sad actually haha

I’m not done with Blank Slate Ch. 4 just yet - hopefully soon! - but this lineup stands out to me especially since I made it while rereading Handplates. Specifically after Gaster is pulled out of the Void - Gaster having to face the people he loves who have no memory of him really spoke to me in a Blank Slate way - the scenario of being able to completely start over and have never done anything to hurt your loved ones, at the expense of never having done anything to them, as far as they’re concerned, ah! It hurts so beautifully!! That’s one of the central themes I’m chasing so it was so cool to see in that context! Very inspiring ♥

So remember how in my Sims post, one Vargas family ended up with two Todds? Well what if that but actually

Twin Todd AU, just try and stop me

The saddest little twins y’ever did see ahh 💔 Having to share Shmee because there’s just the one of him! Who has a greater need :’0

I actually went and skimmed the SQUEE! comics to get a better grasp on the Casils, I’d forgotten basically everything haha. It seemed in keeping that if they could barely keep track of the one Todd, they wouldn’t bother even differentiating between two :’) Taking Todd shifts to better share the load

At least they have each other! More helpful than a stuffed bear who eats trauma? On par at least?

I also happened to catch this screenshot of the Todds gossiping about their shadow-dad, though I’m not sure who had seen him :0 By now I have found an adoption memory-loss prevention mod - thank goodness :D - but it wasn’t installed at the time! :0 Blue Todd is the Todd who’d already been the Vargases’ kid, Red Todd is newly-adopted Todd :)

Greetings in order! One of the Todds came by to scout out this strange new person

It’s a name to go by, if nothing else

Reporting back from the field, he has served his big narrative influence hehe ♥

Uh, yeah, about that- While I don’t doubt you were seeing double at times, uhm-

Surprise! Double the sons!

Only so much space in this apartment! They’re probably used to sharing a space to sleep weh, the implications of this AU are sad! I have no one to blame but myself haha

I have never been able to give up this twisted love I have for Edgar getting flustered about incredibly silly things and Scriabin chiding him with just his name haha ♥ Real twins do not delegitimize whatever the hell you two are to each other 💕

Who me? An affinity for how names shape identity and what it means to be a whole separate person? In love with this story in particular? You must be mistaken. But really, what would their name(s) be? I also love the subtle differences even just here - one Todd speaks up for the other! Dynamics ✨

1994, 2004, basically the same year innit. Scriabin is so much more on the up-and-up about the latest technology than Edgar, that old man

In which the offscreen is me lol, I was so blown away by how much more advanced the Sims 2 was from the Sims 1 ♥ Scriabin doesn’t need a box with a program in it, he has the absolute funnest toy in the world already!

And isn’t that the most important part ♪

Scriabin immediately makes himself and hooks up with every Sim he can, Edgar uncomfortable and totally not watching a~ny of the animations hehe ♪ Honestly though, the thought of Scriabin being genuinely excited to virtually get it on with any-and-every delights me haha

Look. Look, okay, look- If I could choose what to be inspired by, I would but sometimes

Obviously Scriabin would be a long Furby lol, this exchange can be summarized to “Scriabin no D:” “Scriabin yes >:D”

He’s complaining that Edgar ignoring him sleeping is boring haha

I did briefly lose my mind over how the Furbish word for “I/me/my/mine” is all the same - linguistically it makes sense, self-possessive, but in this, in their context ♥

Based on that one Wojak format - looks into the camera like “Yes. I am in your head. Insanity tracks” pfft

And it’s @jaspravex with the steel chair!! I hadn’t drawn any of them in like a month and then all of a sudden- I was 1000% not expecting to be hit with such a huge wave of inspiration but gosh and dang did this line of thought light me up. The implication! The jealousy! Wow that’s a lot all at once I wasn’t expecting ♥ Somehow these two never ended up on my shipping chart, dynamics I swear haha ✨

There’s September through February for the fourth go ‘round! Wild when I put it like that :0 Like clockwork, these lads ♪