#I’m literally dying girl help /pos

[kikithefox231]

Girl help

[nerdyenby]

Green time :D I’m watching Ranboo

“I can take myself seriously, I can do it” mmm I don’t think you can

TINKERBOO MY BELOVED <3333

THATS TERRIFYING HOLY CRAP

I got timed out for saying this will haunt my nightmares????

Welp, he was a fairy for all of five minutes before getting possessed

“If I have the opportunity to get rid of my eyes, I’m going to” yeah ok

This team is going to be so freaking chaotic

Them all yelling swears as soon as they establish no one’s pg 😂

Them just straight up missing the ready up 😂😂😂

Rocket Spleef

Relentlessly unhinged already, I’m losing it

“She green on my gecko til I’m insured” MICHELA 😭😭😭

*grandpa voice* “What the hell is a they/them??”

PHIL MVP!!!!!!

WHAT IS HAPPENINGGGG

I’m not even processing the event what game are we even playing??????

Hole in the Wall

Send help

“It’s called hole in the wall, not hole in the ground” so true Krinios

I go get a sandwich and come back to them adding an age requirement???

Skybattle

Omg people are dying so fast what

They popped off!!!

Phil is so good at surviving in Minecraft you guys

This is a great pov to watch live because I have no idea what’s actually happening, it’s like I get to experience it for the first time twice lol

“They got the slight cognitive abilities” I zone out for ten seconds lol

Someone help Sniff 😭😭😭

Meltdown

“Time to have a meltdown on stream” so true Philza Minecraft

I’m losing my mind

Michela hit the “girl dinner” note perfectly holy crap

Npc team fr, Krin didn’t get the memo

“To be fair… it was funny” - MCC33 Green Geckos motto

Pink popping off!!

“Icy take: let’s not die”

Michela needs to be a voice actor fr

Manifesting Aimsey back to back wins <333

Battle Box

“I’m about to run this team like it’s the navy” as they should!! Krinios igl arc

Michela 😭😭😭

Sapnap crit is so based

Omg teamwork <333

“New strat: the same thing we’ve already been doing” BASED

THAT LAST ROUND 😂😂😂

“I have no boys in my yard ;-;” lmao

Ran and Phil are holding hands this MCC

“I’m really good at acting like I’m dead, it’s my speciality” RANBOO GENERATION LOSS LIVE I STG

“Oh shi-oot” ran whatchu doin, you can swear now, it’s okay

Ace Race

Noooooo Michela 😭😭😭

Jojo calling the tie sexist is so

“The m in MCC stands for misogyny” so true aimseytv!!!!!

Literally no one wants pkt, so true

Grid Runners

Do we think they’ll try or nah?

You know what? No, I’m gonna stop holding back, Sapnap can stfu, I’m so serious

THEYRE CRAZY WITH IT!!!!!!

NEW ROOM NEW ROOM NEW ROOM :D

That was so clutch!!!

“She run on my grid til I ers” thank you Krinios

“I’m in Texas” “Oh. Sorry” 😂😂😂😂

NOOOOO

YESSSSSSSSSS

Sands of Time

WHY IS RAN GIVING PHIL A KISS AAAAAAAAAAAA

*Slow pan* “You’re homophobic”

I hate that so much, thanks noxcrew <333 /lh

This is so painful

The belated “hi HBomb” my beloved

OH MY GOSH

This red path is wild

NOOOOOO Phil :((

“At the end of the day, we are the silly team” so true Michela!!!

Movies don’t exist, we love writers and actors

Krin’s reaction to “cream crew” killed me

Yellow supremacy!!!!!

Dodgebolt

Unanimous yellow support my beloved <33

They’re gonna ambush Scott and harass him into getting this team every event from here on out, so true

MY streamers stan Oli Orionsound, as they should!!

“No one’s rooting for red” hmm that’s so weird and quirky, I wonder why /s

JORDAN SUPREMACY!!!!!!!

Welp that’s what I get for sharing a negative opinion on the internet, not apologizing tho

“Not this time, anime protagonist, now the villains win” PHILZAAAAAAAAAAAA /pos

[007srpblog]

Late Pregnancy/Labor/Birth Starters

Originally potsed by @cxmewhxtmxy

Trigger warnings apply...Applies to both heterosexual and Same sex pregnancies.

Late pregnancy:

* “Can we have the baby at home?”

* “I want to record the delivery.”

* “You’re gonna be such an amazing parent.”

* “The baby always moves when you speak!”

* “We finished the nursery in time. Score.”

* “I’m huge!”

* “I feel enormous.”

* “If this baby gets an ounce bigger, I’m gonna pop like a balloon.”

* “If this belly gets any bigger, I’m gonna tip over.”

* “Why do people think they can just touch my belly?”

* “I really wanna do a maternity photo shoot.”

* “Stop making the pregnant lady cry!”

* “Literally anything makes you cry nowadays.”

* “The baby won’t go to sleep.”

* “Did you feel that?”

* “I love it when you talk to the baby.”

* “We love you so much, daddy.”

* “My partner kisses my bump all the time! It’s the cutest thing ever.”

* “My partner kissed my belly and the baby kicked him in the mouth.”

* “You waddle.”

* “I do not waddle!”

* “If it involves pants, I’m not going.”

* “I love my big belly.”

* “The couch is my happy place.”

* “Hair in a bun, feet up, belly out. That’s how I roll now.”

* “You’re huge!”

* “They said we should schedule an induction.”

* “When are you due?”

* “Can I touch your belly?”

* “Are you sure it’s not twins?”

* “Your belly sure is huge!”

* “Having to pee every five minutes got old the first day.”

* “Baby dropped, I think. It’s so much easier to breathe now.”

* “Why are you crying?”

* “I hate crying over stupid stuff!”

* “I’ve tried everything and this kid won’t come.”

* “I feel anything at all and I think it’s baby time.”

* “Come out, kiddo!”

* “I don’t want the baby to be born on my birthday.”

* “I look like I ate a whole watermelon.”

* “I miss my feet.”

* “If I drop anything on the floor, it’s dead to me.”

* “Sleep? What is that?”

* “It is midnight on my due date and I am still pregnant.”

* “I’m gonna be pregnant forever.”

* “What a year the last month of pregnancy is.”

* “Let’s have one last date night before baby. You decide what and where.”

* “I’ve never been happier to feel like complete crap.”

* “Might as well catch up on my shows till they decide to meet us.”

* “The waiting used to be fun and exciting. Now it’s just tedious.”

* “Let’s get this stubborn kid out the same way we made them.”

* “Help me up, please.”

* “I need a massage and Tums.”

* “Everything hurts. I’m dying. It’s your fault.”

* “This baby is never gonna come out.”

* “I am almost two weeks overdue. Proceed with caution.”

Labor:

• “This went by so fast! I feel like we just found out yesterday.”

• “You ready to go?”

• “Call the midwife, please.”

• “Just got off the phone with the midwife. She said to wait.”

• “Midwife said to head to the hospital.”

• “Can we get the pool ready?”

• “Lean on me. I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere.”

• “Each contraction is one step closer to baby.”

• “Why don’t I believe that?”

• “Contractions are getting bad…”

• “My water didn’t break yet, stop freaking out.”

• “Yup, that’s a contraction.”

• “It’s more just a dull ache, babe. This is probably another false alarm.”

• “Finally! They took their sweet time.”

• “Baby time!”

• “Oh! Ohhh!! Babe, it hurts!”

• “I know how to breathe.”

• My water broke!”

• “I can’t believe we’re meeting our child today or tomorrow.”

• “Please press on my back. Ow…”

• “It’s all in my back!”

• “Are you the one having a baby? No?Then shut up.”

• “Don’t forget the camera.”

• “I’m not gonna drop them right now!!”

• “Don’t be afraid. You can do it.”

• “I can’t freaking do this!”

• “The book said something about cow noises?”

• “I’m sorry I’m so loud.”

• “You make all the noises you need. It’s completely normal.”

• “Make it stop!”

• “Don’t touch me! No, come back!!”

• “I am doing this as naturally as possible.”

• “It’s never coming!”

• “Could I just have it tomorrow?”

Birth:

• “Oh, I think I wanna push.”

• “I need to push!”

• “Big breath and bear down.”

• “I’m pushing.”

• “Good boy/girl, keep pushing.”

• “I can see the head.”

• “Let’s try another position.”

• “Push harder. Harder, honey.”

• “There you go, that’s the way.”

• “Uggghhh!!”

• “Hnnghh!! Nnggghh!!”

• “I’m pushing as hard as I can! It won’t come out.”

• “Don’t push with your face.”

• “I’ve been pushing for [x amount of time]. Why isn’t it coming?”

• “Yeah, I’m good up here.”

• “It burns!”

• “Just a couple more pushes.”

• “I can’t push anymore. I’m so tired.”

• “One more big push!”

• “Happy birthday, little one.”

• “Oh my gosh! Hi, baby!”

• “You did it! I’m so proud of you.”

• “He’s/She’s so big!”

• “Hello, my love. I’ve been waiting for you.”

• “Holy crap, I did it!”

• “They have your nose.”

• “Mama/Daddy loves you.”

• “Welcome to the world.”

• “That was the most badass thing I’ve ever seen.”

• “They’re so beautiful!”

• “We just had a baby. Wow.”

[cognitosclowns]

AYOOOOO HI THERE LOVELY!!! A GIRL IS STARVED FOR SOME INSIDE JOB CONTENT AND WAS WONDERING IF YOU HAD ANY LIKE FLUFF HCS 🥳 SPECIFICALLY TICKLING BC *sobs loudly*/pos LITERALLY SO CUTE AND SO SWEET!!! EITHER WAY GENUINELY ADORE UR ACCOUNT SND WISH YOU THE BEST UR SO COOL!! OKOKOK LIKE JUST THE MAIN GANG OR LIKE BRETT. BRETT <3 BUT THE WHOLE MAIN GANG IF U CAN AYAYAY ALRIGHT SORRY FOR SCREAMING BUT THANK YOU AND HAVE A GOOD DAY - 🥝

GOD THIS IS,,,,,, SO INDESCRIBABLY FUCKING CUTE YOU'RE GETTING HC'S FOR THE ENTIRE CREW <3333

ALL SFW JUST SOME,, CUTE SHIT

INCLUDING PLENTY OF X READER TOO,, JUST BECAUSE,,, ITS CUTE <3333 I WANNA TICKLE THESE CUTIES AND SEE THEM ALL GIGGLY. THEY DESERVE EVERY JOY <333

Reagan

UNDER THE ARMS <3333

HONKING. SHE HONKS. this honking snort while she curls up, vaguely slapping at you. 

SHE HATES BEIN TICKLED... for a bit, and then she’s a giggling mess of smiles.

SHES GONNA MANAGE TO RESTRAIN,, ON OF YOUR ARMS. NEVER BOTH SMDNSD. The War Has Been Waged <3

SHE MIGHT BOLT TO GRA THE PRODUCTIVITRON TO GET A LEG UP. Wrap your arms around her torso tho and she’s going nowhere <3 she has zero muscle.

she looks,, so much lighter after, even if she’s gonna call you a dick <33 sometimes it’s nice to have a good laugh <3

Brett

QUITE LITERALLY EVERYWHERE. The most ticklish man alive. Feet and underarms get him worst.

He LOVES TICKLE FIGHTS. ITS SO LIGHT AND HAPPY SMNDS.

JUST,, TRYNA LAZILY PUSH YOUR HANDS AWAY WHILE HE LOSES OXYGEN <33 he loves it so much. It’s such a blast.

HE GETS THIS COMPETITIVE, HAPPY GLINT IN HIS EYESSS <3333 he wiggles his fingers a bunch as a ‘threat’ before diving for you. A very cute affair.

he does this thing where he Scrunches his hands a bunch on wherever you’re ticklish. YOURE DONE. YOURE DONE.

This big, satisfied sigh when its all over. His cheeks are,, so rosy and sweet. Happiest fella in the world rn <3

Glenn

ASK HIM IF HE'S TICKLISH HIS EYE IS GONNA TWITCH

he siblings used to tickle him. his fellow soldiers would mess with him too. HE CANNOT ESCAPE.

He might actually be worse than Brett smndsm. Try hard enough you can tickle any part of him - wiggly fingers just,, get him smdnsdm.

HIS LAUGH HIS HALFWAY BETWEEN WHEEZING AND,, TRILLING. he's 100% gonna cover his face bc he's Embarrassed by it. 

IF YOU’RE LUCKY YOU’LL GET HIS REALLY,, HAPPY STOMACH LAUGH <33 ITS VV LOUD AND HAPPY. PURE JOY. (I’m picturing the Justin McElroy laugh where it sounds like he’s Actually Dying mznxmcnxzc)

HIS ACCENT GETS SO THICK <333 ITS <33333 YEEHAW MODE ACTIVATED.

'I yield dammit!' lots of,, army swearing too.

Eventually he’s just gonna wrap you up in his arms tbh <3 bear hug, no escape, possibly ticking you back along your sides <3

Andre

FOOTSIES.

HIS FEET ARE SO TICKLISH. Ticklish that if his socks are too textured he cant wear them bc he's get all giggly and squirmy smdnsd.

'this is not a battle you want to- NONONONO' before bursting into laughter. 

His laugh gets SUPER GOOFY <3 like when you laugh so hard that your inhales make a ‘slll’ noise??? IDK NOW TO DESCRIBE IT BUT HE DOES THAT. WHERE ITS ALL SNIFFLY.

HE WILL KICK U (gently <3) MSNDMSD HE'S FLAILING HES SQUIRMING. fighting for his life.

HE’S ALSO CALLING FOR HELP. If y’all are at Cognito he’s gonna call out for Myc.

Myc will not help. Myc will in fact point out spots where hes more ticklish, and laugh his ass off in the corner <3

‘TRAITOR.’

‘mhm - oh, don’t forget his achilles.’

‘AAAAAA- HA - HA MYC (derogatory)’

DEFINITELY GONNA MAKE SOME STUPID JOKES TO KNOCK YOU OFF YOUR RHYTHM.

‘ooh Kinky- AH, AH NONO IM SORRY-’ 

Gigi

SHOULDERS, UNDER ARMS AND RIBS. upper body in general, you can't get her w/ the feet.

SHE MAKES THIS,, AMAZING SQUEALING GIGGLE <33 'pouting' while giggling and trying to grab your wrists <3

SHE WILL ABSOLUTELY FLOP ON YOU. FULLY LIMP FLOP ON YOU. This till not hinder you but it does mean her face is gonna be smooshes into yours. 

Not above licking your face to catch you off guard and then Presto Reverso now YOURE GETTING TICKLED <3

She always has super long nails so,, she doesn’t even need to lift your shirt or anything smnds YOU’RE DONE FOR.

Eventually both of you will,, completely collapse into a giggling cuddle pile <3

Myc

THE ROOTS OF HIS TENTACLES. His laugh starts out as a little giggle until it’s a complete CRESCENDO.

HE SNAPS OUTTA IT PRETTY QUICK THO BC,, CLEARLY SMB NEEDS THEIR ASS WHOOPED.

‘OHO you little shit, C’MERE-’ WHAT’D YOU EXPECT, TRYING TO TICKLE A MAN WITH 6 ARMS?

You’re positively fucked buddy smdns you’re gettin tickled within and inch of your life and he’s gonna be laughin his ass off the whole time

‘aww lookit that, isn’t that sad- should’ve thought of that before, HUH?’

<333 eventually he’ll just flop u on the couch and tease you <3 talk about how stupid you look (affectionate)

might poke your cheeks while you catch your breath after. he thinks you’re cute when you’re all tired n happy. shh.

Jr

HIS STOMACHHHH. Sides, under his navel, that whole area.

The moment he sees those Fingers Poised To Attack he raises two hands like,, smsnd he's trying to calm a wild animal.

He Is not Fast Enough To Escape But He Sure Does Try To Bolt

FISTS BATTING AT YOUR SHOULDERS, OR CLUTCHING HIS CHEST TRYNA BREATHE.

His legs kick like he's being suffocated and LORD DOES HE BLUSH. BRIGHT RED AROUND THE EARS, hes a completely mess.

LOTS OF,, HOSTAGE JOKES. ‘No, no! I have money, I can pay you-hoo-hoo :(’ AND THE LIKE,, he cracks himself up sdmnsd

the moment you stop you’re Positively Fucked

'oooh no you don't' HES GONNA GETCHA HES GONNA GETCHA HE MIGHT BE OLD BUT HES GONNA LEAP OVER FURNITURE TO CATCH YOU SMDNSD.

Eventually he’s just gonna,, scoop you up in his arms and carry you upstairs to lay down <33 after so much goofing around,,, you two need a nice nap.

Alpha-Beta

He very quickly learns that no matter what his answer is to the question Are You Ticklish is, he's gonna get tickled. The folly of man.

THANKFULLY HE'S PROTECTED BC,,, his sides n underarms aren't ticklish?? He'll just give you a very unimpressed smirk. He insists above everything he isn't ticklish. He's a flawless being, of course, why would you think he'd be ticklish?

.... it's his neck. Back of his neck + between his shoulder blades. His shoulders + hands jump up like he's been shocked + this massive panicked GASP

HES GONNA SPIN AROUND N GLARE AT YOU + ,,,, GET REALLY HUFFY AND FLUSTERED. WEAKNESS DISCOVERED HE IS >:((

if you get him between the shoulderblades HE CAN'T EVEN REACH BACK TO GRAB YOUR HAND,, HE JUST HAS TO TWIST AROUND AND FLAIL. This is the most uncomposed you will ever catch him.

His voice box goes Fucking Nuts with glitches + clipping.

'you filthy cheat' and 'horrible, traitorous bastard' are wheezed out in between him trying to Escape Your Clutches. Biting his lip to try not to smile, failing miserably

ALL OF THIS WAS SO POSITIVELY GOOFY <333 IM SORRY. EEE THIS WAS CUTE TYSM FOR THE LOVELY ASK ANON

[janiedean]

ooh so linked to the Brienne ask re: the kingsguard part. What are your thoughts on Aerys’ kingsguard, especially like Arthur Dayne who Jaime from what I remember has complicated feelings for but pretty much idolises him. And they’re so loved by almost everyone in universe!!! Like idk how to think about them really my feelings for them are also complicated

+ okay good because I honestly don’t see why people love them so much like most of the things we’ve heard about them are like. Objectively bad. And like yeah the idea of them is cool but well that can only go so far. also I’m sorry if these asks are a mess I’m exhausted!! ALSO I think you’re amazing for answering all of us anons with such detail I always love coming on to your blog

(putting both asks in the same place uu)

in order: the fact that they're loved by everyone in-universe and fandom actually likes them (or at least arthur dayne hahahahaha god) is like... some of george's best trolling because guess what the entire point is that they're supposed to look like amazing people/the real deal when instead they're all terrible the end - except again for the poor martell prince whom we don't know enough about and I'll give him a pass bc martell people are usually not stupid af but in order:

as I said george has made a point of stating that knighthood is a rotten institution and the kg especially aerys being like... what should be the highest honor for a knight is equally as rotten as knigthood in general and is made of people who do Not Deserve The Title - I mean again hey it's orders so marital rape is fine, hey we're leaving the 15yo to man an entire castle? WHY NOT, the king is mad? WELL WE SWORE TO SERVE HIM, like not counting martell prince there isn't one single person in the aerys kg except jaime who actually upheld the oaths they swore ie protecting the innocent so make of that what you will

the fact that jaime aka the fifteen year old is literally the only one who gets the job and then goes there like 'hey we're basically covering for marital rape what the fuck' and no one else bats an eyelid should already say everything there is to say about these people's moral standard

the fact that none of them actually stuck up for the fifteen-year old who was obviously not ready for the job nor tried to idk do anything to make it easier on him or whatever also says everything about their moral standard because honestly fuck you

the fact that everyone thinks they're amazing jaime included when they're all pretty much shitty is like... well, same as fandom does, which means that the readers bought what people in-narrative do... except that the moment you scratch the surface it's really damned bad

and I'm saying barristan is on thin ice because from his chapters you can see he's like... not a bad dude but like his reaction to jaime being in there still when he saw aerys is 'ah that fucker who killed the king and was so proud he had to try and get into it at fifteen'? like??? fuck you?? honestly the fact that all of them literally served a dude who put people on fire and was a menace/danger to the realm and then have the gall to think that jaime is the worst or who didn't like try to help him or anything while he was obv struggling with his vows and the fact that he was serving a madman says all about their moral standards, again

and honestly arthur dayne is the literal worst of all of them because like - first of all oh you knight the 15yo who goes along with you slaying bandits and you don't try to dissuade him from joining the kg? what the fucking fuck am I supposed to think - second of all you don't even warn him of what is expecting him when he joins when you've been there for a while? - but third of all which drives me insane and I hate that fandom sleeps on it and goes around happily like ARTHUR/LYANNA THE SHIP OF DREAMS... okay listen like I have literally zero investment in lyanna as a character or in r + l and I don't necessarily think he did everything - I think they had a mutual infatuation and eloped and she sorely regretted it and then it was on r. who shouldn't have like acted on it because he happened to be the 20+ year old with a wife and kids, but there's the whole tower of joy situation - in which sorry but we have arthur fucking off KL with other kg people and leaving all the others in the literal shit bc they'd have to deal with aerys and it'd be less of them than they should be, to go with rhaegar to the tower of joy to help him elope which whatever, and then lyanna was left there after r. had to go back... when her brother and father were burned alive and like if she knew that then I doubt she'd have wanted to stay and if she didn't then they withheld fairly important fucking information, so like he stayed there guarding a pregnant 15-16 yo who most likely did not want to be there and who is pregnant by his best friend whose family oh accidentally murdered half of hers........ and lyanna was there even after rhaegar died so I mean it's not like the moment he happened this dude goes and says 'hey maybe we should actually go back and see if we can solve this mess' no he kept her prisoner there anyway - on top of that... here I'm wildly speculating but: he had to know rhaegar was dead and when ned showed up if we are to believe him and idt he was unreliable on that... ned didn't want to fight him or kill him he just wanted to get his sister and leave and like he was most likely in love with ashara aka arthur's sister so why the fuck would he want to kill him right, and like rhaegar's dead and arthur has nothing to lose by letting ned up especially knowing that lyanna is fucking dying in childbirth like she's dying her brother's there just let him up and solve it later esp when the dude doesn't want to kill you....... but no ned had to kill him because he wouldn't budge and why the fucking fuck wouldn't you budge at that point? your side lost the war, the guy you were friends with that you did all of this for is dead, the girl is about to die at least let her die with her family, why? - only thing I can deduce from it: that rhaegar told him that the baby's survival was the most important thing because third head of the dragon blah blah blah and that if the war was lost to just grab the baby and lyanna if she survived and fuck off to essos until he grew up, except that lyanna didn't survive so the conclusion is that he tried to stop ned from going up there bc he'd have found out about the baby and tried to stop them and at that point who gives a fuck if lyanna died or not but he'd have liked... let her die and kill ned in the process and done that most likely, and sorry but when they knightly vows are, I would like to remind everyone, In the name of the Warrior I charge you to be brave. In the name of the Father I charge you to be just. In the name of the Mother I charge you to defend the young and innocent. In the name of the Maid I charge you to protect all women…. like... what, what exactly has this dude done that would qualify as that? because lyanna would be young and innocent and a woman and he basically is letting her die, that behavior does not qualify as bravery and he'd like... deny the kid a chance of growing up with his family period if he killed ned and he didn't seem to particularly give a fuck las we checked, and that's like not counting the whole 'oh I won't tell the 15yo who idolizes me that he's signing

his life away to trauma nor I will support him for shit when he does' part of it, but the tower of joy stuff is shady whichever way you look at it and honestly the more time passes the more I'm convinced this guy is just a complete pos and the worst of them all except gregor when it comes to like 'people thinking you're a good knight and you're actually a pos instead' and I'm dying on that hill until george proves me wrong

and on that the thing is that... I ranted about it once here but basically jaime idolizes the shit out of him because he never saw that even if his subconscious kinda knows because when he had the weirwood dream his greatest fear was confronting the former kg and everyone was accusing him of stuff he couldn't have physically prevented (more ranting on the weirwood dream here) and he's there like 'ah I wanted to be arthur dayne but I became the smiling knight instead' but like... actually he is more of a true knight than arthur dayne can ever hope to be? because like in the above meta I was talking specifically about how to pia he's like... better than arthur dayne, but like not to be that person but jaime who thinks he's the gregor clegane of his time and not arthur dayne, while arthur dayne was... doing the shady toj thing with lyanna - saved an entire city from aerys blowing it up - risked his neck for brienne even if he didn't even like her as in he got himself kicked in a healing stump when he couldn't even stand up for himself so she wouldn't be raped - risked his neck going back for her at harrenhal and jumped into the bear pit without even knowing how he'd manage it - was actually being a decent person to tommen until c. forced him to leave - the moment he saw what happened with pia he gave her her rapist's head when she's like a commoner no one gaf about and took her into her service - when his squire wanted to bed her he like told him to be kind to her jfc - is per tyrion the only relative who actually loved him/freed him/actually stuck up for him (and tysha is on tywin thank you all very much and jaime feels so great about it he doesn't think about it until he can't anymore) (also he was the one chasing the bandits away in the first place so he was probably there like oH I HELPED A MAIDEN too lmao god fuck tywin) - actually stuck for his cat vow bc he took riverrun without bloodshed - sent brienne after sansa with the magic amazing sword because he wanted to upheld their shared vow to cat going against his own family - the moment brienne shows up like hey wanna blow this joint and leave the army you don't wanna lead to find sansa he didn't even like blink before saying yes and I'm supposed to think that in between him and arthur dayne he isn't the only one who actually stuck to his vows as well as he could/knows anything about them/is actually a trueknight™? because lmao the fact that jaime doesn't fancy himself one because of aerys when everyone fancies arthur dayne one when the latter did absolutely fucking nothing beyond slaying bandits to put his money where his mouth was while jaime didn't even like brand himself like that and still did all of that and half of it was acting on instinct not even like doing the math before and *he* was the one wanting to be knighted at fifteen and took his vows seriously when oh wait knightly vows are basically the epitome of selflessness is like again grrm trolling the hell out of everyone characters included but it's clear from the narrative imvho and I can't wait for the moment he serves the just desserts and a) jaime realizes it b) everyone else in-narrative realizes it c) bran timetravels to the fucking toj and we find out what actually went down there and this saint arthur narrative is burned to the ground because honestly no

there, I think I spat out almost all of my venom XD

[maldito-arbol]

SHDHHRHENS OKAY OKAY UUMMM

The part at the starT about red,,, oh god they have all gone through so much holy shit 😭 Anne,,, what was She gonna say Mal?? WHAT WAS IT? Omg all the stuff with the gems 👀 tbh I needed more of all three of the gems interacting in my life, what They need to do to converge is shhebebbsjejks SASHA AND THE PLANTERS, SASHA AND SPRIG, SASHA AND POLLY, SASHA AND HOP POP, I love them so much holy shit holy fuck “He’s so small. She’d known it before, but where small had once meant weak and insignificant, now she recognizes it also means young, too young to experience this kind of pain, to see his sister bleeding and dying before him when only a day ago she was holding him securely in her arms.” THIS LINE >>>> I love it but also ohmygod the angst Sprig, Polly and Hop Pop falling asleep on Sasha 💖💖💖 “Did She suffer” MAL,,,, why must you do this to me Sasha is the new queen,,, whatthefuck /pos Beatrix is an asshole (Affectionate) Grime being the best dad <3 Sasha is absolutely getting her ass kicked lmao Strength,, tbh I feel like its was royalty in a past vessel (Maybe froog? obv not king/queen status but close to it in some way) Yeaaa ivy and Sasha!! I love them <3 Strength with the speech,, it is def iffy Tbh I love this whole part with grime and Sasha,, it’s >>>>> Strength Is also an asshole (affectionate) WOO ANNES KINDA OKAY YEAH Heh Witney My beloved Tbh I wasn’t sure if you were going with 13 or 15/16 in this fic so that clears up stuff (although it could have been mentioned in one of the other 2 fics but my memory ain’t the best lol) Sashha and Marcy saying goodbye to Anne ughhrghh my emotions The fluff of sasha and Marcy going to bed >>>> I love it sm the crown,,,,, yeah, THAT ENDING THO, WHATS GOING ON WITH STRENGTH

overall a very good start to CMTO Also I’m wondering how many words this chapter was? I read it in like 34 mins-ish so I want to know how many words I read

Nothing like the color of blood <3

Oh myyyy what :) was :) Anne :) gonna :) say :) *checks notes* mother of god that doesn’t get answered for a while—

GEM INTERACTIONS WE LOVE TO SEE THEM ohh I HAVE to do more of these I have so much fun with them

SASHA AND THE PLANTARS WERE THE ONES MAKING ME CRY WHEN I WROTE THIS CHAPTER IM BLAMING THEM FOR EVERYTHING

Crowning Sasha Queen was SUCH a terrible decision on everyone’s part oh my god save this poor child— and BEATRIX. Beatrix my beloved 💜💜💜💜 SO excited to write her character going forward my god

Strength….oh Strength. It’s got some rather interesting experience that I can’t tell you about but it does have to do with the Froog :3

YEP ANNE’S FINE!! She’s a little Asleep at the moment unfortunately but she is Not Dead! Hold onto ur socks cause we’re gonna talk about her more in chap 3 👀

And OH, right, this is literally bc of the fact that they’re 13 in canon. I totally understand ppl wanting to headcanon them as older bc Braly wanted them to be older but AT THE SAME TIME it’s really fun calling attention to the fact that they’re so young when they’re being put through so much trauma :))) like I said before, I too was going through life-altering self-destruction arcs within the span of a week when I was 13 <3 I did mention it a few times before I’m pretty sure—the only example i can think of off the top of my head was in IBYBF chap 6 when the Toad Lords tried giving Sasha beer and Grime was like nOpe

Ain’t a mal fic if I don’t make u suffer over the girls watching the others suffer :)

The crown. Put That Thing Back Where It Came From Or So Help Meeeeeee (no it’s literally so unsettling to me the mere fact that it’s. Sasha’s trophy. And that it belonged to Andrias. *shudders*)

I wonder what’s going on with Strength….. :))

This chapter was a little over 16k words so—WOW ur fast,,,,,

THANK YOUUUU FOR READING AND FOR YOUR ASK 💜💜💜

[whitmore]

2 questions/discussions (that arent related but I think its ok lol). 1. Sorta devils advocate/but also sincere question re: the “neither henry nor cindy faced actual consequences”. Exactly what kind of consequences are we talking about. IRL ones like jail/probation/etc? Bc otherwise it feels like, at least with Henry (and like you said it was kinda cheated by being cut short), we did get a semi redemptive “did fucked up shit, but am now attempting to rectify and do better moving forward” arc.1/2

Like what else can we ask for (that’s not a legal consequence kind of thing)? Isn’t the whole point that the sum total of your being isn’t defined by one moment or period of time. That we can and should be allowed room to do better? On the other hand I get it like oh here we go redeeming another misogynistic pos. But idk... 

(i put that part in here bc it’s relevant to this specific question) i’m not the poster of the textpost ur talking abt but. i’m willing to answer anyway bc it gives me a nice base to the discussion i want to have abt him

i’ll go into the implications of writing a character like henry another time so for now i’ll try to keep this as in-universe contained as possible for the sake of not over-meta-ing myself

the school didn’t do anything, that we know of, about henry/cindy releasing yolanda’s pictures. literally everybody blamed yolanda. she was stripped of all social standing and her class presidency. henry had been bullying her at that table for god knows how long and there’s no sign of any teacher or authority figure sticking up for yolanda. i know a lot of this is implication rather than fact, but i find it a lot easier to believe that small town nebraska high school took a stand against yolanda, rather than with her. yolanda mentions being entirely alone, not having anyone in her corner; this, assumedly, includes the school. whether over the releasing the pictures incident alone or not, the school should have stepped in and intervened in henry’s bullying of yolanda. again, all introspection, but it’s a lot more believable than a teacher standing up for her, given her personality & things she’s said abt her situation. the only one who i could even vaguely make an argument for is principal bowin, who took the mic and tried to shut everyone up i guess, but we never see bowin & yolanda truly interact again, assuming that she also abandoned yolanda after discovering the whole situation. henry never got proper reprimandation for the bullying / sharing the pictures not even in a legal sense but just in any sense at all (rereading this i realize i keep saying henry bc my rant is more centered around him & his portrayal but cindy too, given they both visibly bully her in the series & in no way is cindy off the hook in this; i just see people excuse henry for his behaviour WAY more than i see ppl excuse cindy for what she did to yolanda. actually i haven’t seen anyone at all excuse her for what she did. funny how that works)

the key thing here is that henry dying doesn’t make up for the bad shit he did to yolanda. they’re two different moral scales. i know he had the whole “i am sorry” thing and yeah i truly do believe that he’s sorry, but saying that doesn’t make up for it. yolanda was ostracized from her school, her family, her entire community. henry saying sorry was like placing a bandaid on a broken window. it doesn’t fix the entire window. “but it’s sticky!! it helps!!!” does it ‘help’? sure. does it absolve him of, idk, throwing the brick through the window? no. 

henry died bc he didn’t stand w his father. because he wanted to try & be better. which was a start, sure. his death redeemed his character, not his situation w yolanda. the fact of the matter is, his death, imo, doesn’t affect his morality over the yolanda situation at all. two different moral issues.

to get into it in a bit more of a meta-writer sense, the writing of that whole situation just irks me, if i’m being honest. there’s a hispanic girl whose clearly immigrant family is highly religious and therefore they shun her for something that isn’t her fault? it feels very. stereotypical. as i’m not hispanic i won’t speak on that part (good article here that does! i don’t entirely agree w everything it says but it’s notes on the writing of yolanda as character of colour r top notch) but on the immigrant note i’m just ! so sick of immigrants being villainized in dc media but also this idea that immigrant families are obsessed w/ the image of their family and first generations having to hold themselves to the impossible standard that their immigrant parents set up is just,, tired? give me loving immigrant families lmao anyway rant over

the funny thing is, the way i see it, is that henry was defined by precisely two things for the first like 7 episodes; being an asshole to yolanda, and being brainwave’s kid. the whole point IS that ur entire being isn’t defined by one period, except the writers literally wrote henry that way (which i don’t approve of, but that’s what they did). unfortunately henry isn’t real and his actions are not real and he’s written by a bunch of writers in a writers room and THEY reduced him to that. he was only really given that ample space to breathe and grow during his last two episodes alive, which just wasn’t enough to atone for what the writers/henry did to yolanda, especially for me.

[tellywoodtrash]

sanjivani 16.10.19 lb

OH SHIT SID HAS A BROKEN SHAADI IN HIS PAST!!?!?!!!! WHUTTTTTTT?!?!??! COZ OF HIS NAAJAAYAZ-NESS??? WHO WAS THE GIRL??? DID HE REALLY LOVE HER???? OMG YEH KYA BOMB PHENKA HUMARE UPARRRRRR?!?!

oh sis, this lipstick is not working for you in this light. it makes you look like a corpse.

asldkjldkjsaldjlaskdjla i am sorry but this is fucking hilarious man hahahahaha, what an idiottttttttt this girl is. 

sid is a much better human being than i am, coz he got concerned and moved to help her, instead of instantly bursting into laughter.

forceful face hardening. jab dil abhi bhi bada hi softtttttttt hai.

haaye, woh bhi kya din tha. aur yeh ek aaj ka din hai. sigh.

"yeh kaanch ki deewar hamesha rahegi humare beech. hamesha."

"yeh kaanch ki deewar, isse main humare beech patthar nahi banne doongi. main jaankar rahoongi ki aapko hua kya hai, dr. sid."

lord. y'all not even a couple yet and you already need hardcore couple's therapy.

"i'm sorry ishani, meri badkismati ke saaye se mujhe tumhe door rakhna hoga."

OH SIDDHU. YOU SILLY BEAN, THERE'S NO BADKISMATI KA "SAAYA" AROUND YOU. YOU ARE THE SUNNNNNNNN, BABY. *hugs him tightest, clinging to him like a baby koala bear on the back of its mom*

but just in case there is, mais suggests you contact the female lead of yehh jadu hai jinn ka coz she seems to have some kinda saaya repelling expertise.

do pal ruka khwabon ka kaaaaaaarwaaaaan, aur phirrrrrrr chal diye, tum kahaan hum kahaaaaaaan.....

it's kinda endearing how jiggy's adopted ishani as bff. honestly, there is no one purer than jignesh in this whole damn show. protecc him 4ever.

oh god, i can't watch this. i can't. it's too gross. and anyway i already saw the scene sayantani put up on insta.

I AM ACTUALLY ANGRY???????????? ANJALI IS SO HOT AND ACCOMPLISHED AND DESERVES BETTER THAN THIS THUMB LOOKING FUCKER, WHO IS ALSO SOME KINDA ACCESSORY TO MURDER (AMONG OTHER UNSAVOURY SHIT.)

also the abrupt cuts between very close moments and the bits where she's pushing him away making snarky smile are confusing me. are the close bits his imagination? ok either way, gross, fwding.

from one gross relationship to another icky one. ouff, give me a break showwwwwwwww. i want to see my baby doctors (any of them, at this poiint; not just sid/ishani.)

"wife ne kyun choda aapko?" lmao, direct to the point.

"kya faraq padta hai? meri beti mere paas hai aur woh mujhse bohut pyaar karti hai."

oh ho. there's that bit of backstory solved.

anjali sympathising with vardhan's daughter.

lmao she's like a dog with a bone.

ofc, work pressure nahi samjh paayi waala excuse. couldn’t possibly be coz you’re clearly a POS insaan huh????

HEY MAN COULD YOU STOP FEELING HER UP LIKE THIS DURING A CONVO???? THAT TOO ABOUT YOUR DIVORCE?!

"har aadmi mere paas bas ek hi cheez ke liye aata hai." anjali isn't here for your bs, vardhan.

and no it's not sex. it's access to her dad. this poor girl has sooooooooo many different facets of daddy issues, it's not even funny anymore.

he needs to stop jerking her around. it's not as romantic as he thinks it is.

also lmao he’s like idk about others, but i don’t want that from you. i don’t even like your dad.

oh anjali, no. don't make this face for thisssssss dude.

I HATE YOU. DIE.

bechaara rahil is stuck between ensuring mamu is dropped home safely and figuring out what the fuck is wrong with sid suddenly.

alllll those extra shaadi waali lightein you ppl plugged in overloaded the circuits. IN A DAMN HOSPITAL. let’s hope there’s no one on life support today.

oh god ab inka "romance" dekhna padega. yaaaaaarrrrrrr. I WANTED HOT ANDHERE MEIN ROMANCE FOR SID ISHANI. NOT THESE TWO!

man you ppl keep framing this relationship as rooted in "izzat" but like........ it doesn't feel very respectful.

oufffff spit it out shashank. do you want to bone her or not????? that's all we need to know here rn. i don't care about the izzat and dosti and falaana dimkaana. IS THIS ROMANTIC LOVE, OR FUCKING NOT? jesusssssssss.

"haan juhi, main tumse pyaar karta hoon."

OK I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND THO. COZ YOU FRAMED IT AS SOME KINDA PURE UNSEXUAL ROMANTIC LOVE AND.... I'M JUST CONFUSED. I MEAN I GET THE CONCEPT OF NON-SEXUAL ROMANTIC LOVE, I'M JUST CONFUSED AT THE WAY THIS SHOW IS CHOOSING TO FRAME IT HERE, IN THE CONTEXT OF THIS PARTICULAR RELATIONSHIP. IS SHASHANK DECLARING HIMSELF TO BE ASEXUAL? (UNLIKELY, CONSIDERING HOW MANY BACHCHE HE HAS RUNNING AROUND THE PLACE AT ANY GIVEN TIME IN THE MANY ITERATIONS OF THIS SHOW, MOST OF WHICH WEREN’T PLANNED.) BUT THAT'S THE ONLY WAY THIS DYNAMIC WORKS. MAKE A DECISION, SHOW. WHAT IS THIS FUCKING RELATIONSHIP????????

and what are we to make of juhi who was all smiley at the dosti and izzat part  of the convo, and keeps getting upset and cagey when he says "pyaar"??!?!?

ohohohohoh how the turntables. time for him to hound her for an answer.

lmao well. there’s your answer.

ok???????? why this random shot of anjali's shadow?

lmao was it really necessary for all the attendees to change outfits too? literally only the bride and groom and their fam needed to.

shashank bana siddhu. while siddhu is off bemoaning his phooti kismat somewhere. iss sab ke liye mujhe wait karwaaya itna iss episode ke liye????? ugh.

THE ONLY TWO I REALLY CARE AND STAN FOR IN THIS SHOW FILLED WITH CONFUSING IDIOTS. PURE, FLAWLESS, SASS BOIS.

lmao rishabhhhhhhhhhh man, where's your mumbai ka best pandit?????/ YOU'RE mumbai's best pandit??????

asha still upset about ishani's breakdown i guess.

awwww, sid's walking jessie down the aisle!

oh shit, while having bad shaadi flashbacks. hang in there baby, hangggg in there.

SHE CALLED HIM HER BROTHERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! ACTUAL TEARS YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!

lmao @ rishabh getting huffy at that. i can't tell if i love or hate this petty asshole.

"main marrrr rahi hoon!!!!!"

"arre main apne dulhe ko dekhne ke liye marr rahi hoon yaaar."

this is exactly the kinda gallows humour i would keep doing in a sitch like this and i fucking love jessi for being a Dramatic Bitch like me.

here comes the groom. with his bestieeeeeeee.

the rejection phobia is mega real with this one. never thought we'd see anyone more fucked up by it than sonakshi rastogi, but here we are.

but also sid, how do you look at a girl like THIS and then act surprised when ppl tell you that you’re in love with her?????

yeah try to avert your eyes all you want bro, you gonna wife her eventually.

rahil and asha are every sidisha shipper rn; dying on the inside from the.......

OMG THEY'RE THE ACTUAL CUTEST. CAN THE SHOW JUST BE ABOUT THEM????? COZ LIKE.... THAT'S A SHOW I WANNA WATCH RN. PURE SUPPORTIVE MADLY IN LOVE BABIES GETTING THROUGH LIFE, CANCER BE DAMNED.

LOLOLOLOLOL SO WE'RE REALLY GETTING ZERO EXPLANATION TO ME WHY RISHABH'S THE PANDIT THO????????

oh babeeee.

vardhan is me. KISKA ROMANCE DEKHNE KO SHURU KIYA MAINE SHOW, AUR KISKA NAIN-MATAKKA DEKHNA PADH RAHA HAI. BHAKKKKKKKK!!!!!!

sid. hon. stay strong.

ah shit. maybe melt a little. see how she's crying cozza you! come on, man! 

why repeating the “badkismati ka saaya” dialogue from before???? ouff what a hodgepodge fuckingggggg mess this ep was.

———————————————————————

blah blah two of them and their opposing zidds, we all know ishani gonna eventually win anyway.

[tonystarkstan]

hey, i’ve read all your works so many times and I absolutely love them I was just wondering what else you’d recommend to help with bad brain days? i’ve been having a rough go of it lately and i always use works like yours to get through. hope you’re having a good day!

anon, I got this ask right as I started my chem homework and I forced myself to Wait but OH BOY DO I HAVE SOME GOOD ONES FOR YOU

((also, I’m assuming that depressing fics but with hopeful endings is what you’re looking for, since that’s how mine typically are))

-my number one go-to will literally always be @losingmymindtonight’s 5 Times Peter’s Mental Illness Made Him Stumble and The 1 Time He Refused to Falter. (listen, I know that everyone talks about this one but it’s just because it’s That Good. it genuinely kept me going one more day. it’s so important.)

-by the same author is We All Chase After A Few Dying Stars which resonated with me So deeply that it almost hurt. I come back to it often.

-to take this off my shoulders by defendedbymypen is so, so good. This author is incredible.

-ohhh, one that I’ve read two or three times now is The Five Times Peter’s Enhanced Metabolism Screws Him Over + the One Time He Gets Help by @whumphoarder which is particularly helpful when I’m struggling with food.

-xxiv. drowning by @tempestaurora really got to me. “You’re important, you mean something.” Definitely recommend.

-Things that Grow Beneath the Snow by @jbsforever is - goodness gracious, it’s so good it hurts. It shows the struggle and how it’s ongoing but really captures the hopefulness of like one day we’ll get there, you know?

-When The Colours Fade, All We Have Is Orange by my girl @ironfamjam is so good (I still need to leave a comment on it because I’m a pos who hasn’t yet)

These are all a bit more depressing but they all have super hopeful endings, are really good reads, and are so well-written. If you want happier, more lighthearted fics, just lemme know and I’ll see if I can help?

((Also, I’m sorry you’ve been having it rough lately. I wish I knew what to say to help but I’m The Worst. I believe in you.))

[truepsychictales]

Tonight on Tiny Over-Analyses Milla Vodello! It’s the Li-Po Special Edition! \o0o/

Sleeping by the side of the children...  She never went out... She had no friends outside of the hospital. The only time she was away from the ward is when she was out trying to find parents for the children who were orphans.

This... kinda confirms the ‘Milla was an orphan who was never adopted’ theory? She slept at the orphanage, spent 99% of her time there, had no friends outside of the orphanage... because she’d been there her whole life. It’s all she knew.

The police eventually picked her up wandering down a deserted country road, all alone. She resisted them and put up such a fight that they took her to the local sanitarium.

Frightened, grieving, and fairly-defenceless Milla putting up such a fight that the local authorities couldn’t control her is certainly a Mental Image™

The voices were even worse there--more numerous, more tortured. Her mental state fell into decline.

Friendly reminder that Milla not only had to endure listening to the dying thoughts of her children, but also to the twisted psychotic thoughts of all the other patients in all the asylums she got carted around to for months, or even years. Fun times.

Milla isn’t just good at handling troubled clients because she’s a people-person and has good empathy, she knows how people like that think, it’s all she ever heard for a pretty substantial portion of her life.

They transferred her to a bigger and more high-security institution. And then another, and another.

‘More high-security‘ makes me think that, like her tussle with the cops, Milla kept trying to break out of these places and flee (and, I mean, who wouldn’t if you were forced to constantly listen to all the other patients deepest darkest thoughts all the time) and they kept having to recapture and restrain her??

Maybe... maybe Milla doesn’t just specialise in levitation because she had her whole world torn out from underneath her and she’s had to literally keep herself ‘afloat’. Maybe the appeal is also that no-one can fuckin’ catch her anymore if she’s 100 feet up in the air? Girl chose the most ‘escape’-like power as her speciality, obviously she has a desire and need to feel free and untouchable.

Maybe being restrained is another of her fears? Maybe if they ever get tied up on missions and things Sasha has to take a moment to try and help her relax and ‘it’s okay, Milla, these bindings are just temporary, we’ll get out of this, you’re alright, I’m here, breathe’

The Psychonauts took her to one of their own facilities, and after a couple of weeks in a psychoisolation chamber, she began to heal.

Bonus points to the Psychonauts for not troubling Milla with any therapy or training until after she’d already been left alone for a while, and been able to calm herself down and relax again for a moment and rest. Imagine having to endure hearing everyone else’s thoughts all day every day for months/years and then suddenly it’s gone and you can hear yourself think again, girl probably slept for the first time in years.

... she proved to be a powerful telekinetic and clairvoyant. But her speciality, it soon was discovered, was levitation.

So I guess telekinesis and levitation are both considered to be her primaries? That would explain why TK is the one she can use in RoR, even though levitation was already confirmed to be her main thing in PN1 (also ayyyy Raz is a clairvoyant-main too, girl has something in common with her newest babe <3)

[crewoftheintrepid]

Verfall in unserem Blut

Seren was curled in the captain's chair, bored out of her mind. She was stuck in the ship with Aydin for this mission, the rest of the crew were down in the market with Aydin feeding them information to get to an arms dealer’s stash house. Seren would go down later to actually break into said stash house after they had enough information on it.

A small crash caught her attention, and it sounded like it came from the docking area.

“Hey, I think I heard something.”

Aydin turned around in the chair he was set up in, pausing to listen. She could hear better than him, not like Atalante can of course but still better than him. “It could be one of the temp crew, but if you’re worried go check it out.”

“Fine, I will.”  She picked herself out of the chair, grabbing the knife from her jacket still draped across the back of the chair.

“Take a com so if something is wrong you can call me.” He called as he turned back to the collection of maps and data he had been working on as she waved him off. It couldn’t be too bad, and there was a communication system rigged throughout the ship if she needed to call him.

She passed a few of the crew that while permanent weren’t apart of the team, a few of the temp crew as well. Until she got to the docking bay, it seemed to be mostly empty until she spotted a person knocked out on the floor.  She must have heard them fall.

Seren knelt beside the person helping them up. “Hey, are you okay?”

The person looked up at her dazed. It seemed to be one of the mechanics they hired to help Carisa out. He was a grizzled man, with a rather unkempt beard and cold grey eyes that kinda freaked her out if she was honest.

“Sorry about that, missy. Must have tripped over a wrench or something.” He smiled cheerfully at her, “You must have some fine ears to hear from up in the cabin.”

“They work well enough.”

She was too focused on the cut on the man's head to notice a woman slinking towards them from behind a box that sat in the bay. She heard the steps too late and a needle was driven into her neck, the liquid inside burning as it flowed into her veins.

-Line-

Aydin looked to the door to the deck, Seren should back by now. He shouldn’t be worried about Seren, she had taken a weapon with her and- he looked over to see that she hadn’t taken a com with her since none were missing.

The others were just waiting now so he could take a break and check the security system to see if she was okay. He flipped through the feed, not finding her anywhere, which was concerning in and of itself.

The door opened behind him, and feeling something was off and he grabbed a gun from the drawer beside him. It was admittedly small, an antique revolver from the 21st century that Kael had gotten him years ago.  

He turned to the door aiming for the person in the doorway.

“Careful now,” Her voice was silken and could have been calm if not for the fact that she was holding Seren by the arm, the grip elevating the blond enough for him to see her face,  the young woman was on the ground blood dripping down her chin. The older woman was well built, tall and graceful in a deadly way that reminded him of Atalante on her most dangerous days. “Wouldn’t want to kill the only one who can save her.”

He was sure that Errapel could fix whatever was wrong with Seren, but he would need to get her back on the ship for that. Seren gave a shuttering cough, more blood leaking from her mouth with the sound.

“What do you want?”

The older woman smiled and it sent chills down his spine. She unnerved him in a way he wasn't used too, through that might have something to do with his daughter possibly dying in her clutches. She looked small on the floor, almost lifeless.

“Easy Mr.Tilki. Come with me and when we get to where we need to be, I’ll give her the antidote.”

He pulled back the hammer on the revolver, he trusted that Errapel could save her.

“Or I can just open her throat here, either one can be done.”

He lowered the revolver before tossing it away.

“What a good choice!” She said with fake cheer. She pulled Seren fully upright even as the blond was visibly weak.

“Let me carry her.”

A cruel laugh was his answer as the dark-haired woman dragged her down the halls to the small ship they had for when a group went planetside while the main ship stayed in orbit. He wished they had done that this time. The woman cruelly threw Seren onto the floor of the ship, beside the pilot's chair. On his way in, he hit a panic button on the status pad, it was silent to them but he knew it would sound on Kael and Atalante’s handheld comms.

They wouldn’t be able to stop the small ship leaving but it would give them more time than if they simply came back to them gone.  

“You might want to watch your friend, make sure she doesn’t drown in her blood. It’d be a pity if she dies before we can get there.”

He pulled Seren to him, blood still leaking down her chin.  He unbuttoned his shirt rolling it up to place it under her head, hoping to give her some comfort. The ship was cold made worse by the fact that he was just in his undershirt now. He gently started to smooth her hair n a gester of comfort.

-Line-

If he had to hear Talbot bitch about being bored one more time he was going to throw the pilot off the damn roof.  Seren’s fondness for him be damned, plus it’s not a long drop he’d be bruised but not broken.

“I told you that you could go with Red and Dormouse to get medical supplies. You said you wanted to help us case out the warehouse. “

“I didn’t realize it  would literally be us sitting on a roof while March goes in as a cat.”

“Don’t let her hear you call her that.” Carisa teased.

His and Atalante’s handhelds went off, a shrill sound that could have gotten the Noctis caught had she had it.  It was the panic button in the Intrepid.

“Go get the others, I’m going to get March out of there, we’ll meet you in the ship.”

The woman met him outside in her second form, she must have heard the ring from inside. Those fucking ears were ridiculous.

She mewled at him, “The others took the car, so we’ll take the bike.” He opened the bag he had with him. She wouldn't have clothes when she turned back and it would be less eye-catching for him to have a ’cat’ in his bag than a naked woman on the bike.

She wrinkled her nose but leaped in. “Sorry ‘Lante.” He took off, roaring down the back roads to the forest that held the ship in hiding.

The docking bay was open and the grass had been disturbed, evidence that a ship had taken off.

Atalante jumped out of the bag rushing into the ship, he himself not far behind. He came onto his team in the empty bay, blood on the floor and a syringe there as well.

Atalante sniffed at the syringe before hissing, smelling at the blood next. Her hackles raising, the blood belongs to one of their own. She traced the trail as Errapel picked up the syringe, “I’ll go analyze this and see what it is.”

He followed Atalante to the deck of the ship tail ridged and ears flat back against her head, she had turned back to her primary form and had Seren’s coat in her hands, tightly gripping the signature item, the wing embroidered on one side bright in the light.

“It’s her’s.”

The blood. He looked to see another small puddle, across from it the revolver he had gifted to Aydin.  He took off his own coat draping it over the Noctis.

Someone had taken them, had come into their home and kidnapped his child and oldest friend.

“I’ll rip them apart,” Atalante growled.

He could only agree with her as he pulled up the video feeds. Starting at the time that the alert had sounded. He saw Sereen being dragged, limp, into the smaller ship with Aydin following behind, they watched backward as the events unfolded, once the woman even looked directly into a camera. Cocky fucker. Finally, they reached the start and found the mechanic that had lured and distracted Seren, and had more than likely had let the kidnapper on board.

“Zir, get your ass up here and run this image through every database you can find, I don't care if you have to hack into anything just get me a name.”  He called over the speaker system in the ship before storming off to check if Errapel got anything.

“ ‘Lante? Clothes!” he called over his shoulder as he left.

-Line-

Aydin held Seren to his side the room they were in was suspiciously nice. Seren was almost dead cold against him and it was increasingly worrying him.

The woman from the ship came in a small bag under her arm. He recognized the man that walked in behind her. Alyen Nevil, a consistent thorn in their side. He seemed to keep showing up whenever things went wrong.

So the woman worked for Alyen. “As promised.” She picked up Seren’s arm rolling up the sleeve of her shirt, drawing blood finally moving on to administer what he hoped, god damn he hoped, was an antidote.

“Give it ten minutes and she’ll mostly recover. She’ll be weak but she won't die.” The woman put her arm down but didn’t leave merely standing beside the opulent chair across from the couch.

He jolted away from fingers that reached for his chin, “You are rather handsome.” Alyen smiled reaching next for Seren, no way was Aydin going to let that pass. He grabbed the man’s hand before it made contact.

“Don’t touch her.”

“She is a beauty, reminds me of a girl stolen from my ownership four years ago,” The man continued as if Aydin hadn’t said anything.

This man, this monster, had been in control of Seren’s contract when they saved her from the mines. “You’ll both fetch a great price at auction unless Kael  can rescue you in time.”

The way Alyen said Kael’s name, wrapped around it with hate and perversion, with the familiarity of lovers but the venom of a man excited to torment him made Aydin want to tear the man's tongue out.

“Ifig.”

The woman opened the case and set a canister down which released a nauseously sweet smell, he heard a lock activate and the last bit off sentence as his consciousness slipped away.

“Keres will get them ready, you finished the drug?”

-line-

It had taken one positive I.D., a favor call-in to Ewing and two days to find the mansion that Alyen was hiding out in.

He walked in alone the others scattered around the mansion's grounds,  a red-haired, man greeted him at the door.

“We’ve been waiting for you.”  He was searched for weapons, patted down before the man smiled. “Follow me, please.”

He was lead down the hall into what looked like a brothel, giving him an uneasy feeling. He’d seen a fair amount of brothels, and brothel auction houses. He knew that Alyen ran slave brothels. This didn’t bode well.

Kael saw a screen, an advertisement for auction, and it made his blood boil.

An unknown man and woman surrounded Aydin, one against his back one on his lap, who was dressed down in tight pants, his hair down and messy in a way Aydin would hate. They were caressing the man, who was flushed, a familiar sight that Kael still held in his mind from when they shared a bed. While Aydin would move away it was like he couldn’t bring himself to break away as the women's nail scraped down his chest and the man’s hands slipped into his pants.

The redhead tried to pull Kael away but he refused to budge.

“Now, now you mustn’t be late.” The man whispered into his ear, too close for his comfort.

They passed booths with people in various states of undress, a stage for the eventual auction. When they came to a curtained section the shadow letting him see that there were three people behind it. The redhead opened the curtain, he walked to the edge of the round bed, the redhead passed him to stand by Aleyn.

If the screen set his blood on fire what he saw made his heart stop, made him freeze. Aydin still wasn’t wearing a shirt, the button on his pants was undone and they wear hanging low on his hips. There were silver bands on his arms and one around his neck. Aleyn was just finishing devouring the man’s mouth.

He ran a hand up Seren’s back, she was more dressed than Aydin or at least more covered, lace and silk wrapped around her body, hiding only the most private parts, the rest of her body on display, her hair was done in curls with gold and jewels decorating the rest of her body.  She arched up against Aleyn as he pulled her into a filthy kiss, nearly pulling the woman into his lap. Running his hand up her back. He broke the kiss guiding her down to lay on her back.

Neither of them looked like they were truly present in the moment. Aydin looked less out of it than Seren did.

“Ah, Kael.” Aleyn had the nerve to smile like they were old friends.

“I was testing the new merchandise. Both the new ‘aphrodisiac’” Fucker even used air quotes, “And the two test subjects. Though this one-”  He pet Seren’s hair in a mock paternal fashion, “isn’t new. After all, I’ve had her contract in my possession for ten years so I’m within my right to just keep her as my personal… attendant.”  He ran one of his hands up Seren’s chest, while the other hand traced down Aydin’s back each hand stopping in clearly possive, in Aydin’s case the small of his back, or deadly in Seren’s case a hand around her neck, which she disturbingly arched into.

“Maybe I’ll keep them both, you have fantastic tastes in near-human forms.”

He had the urge to lunge forward to tear him apart, both for his actions and what the other was implying but was stopped by Aleyn holding Seren’s knife to Aydin’s neck.

“I’m joking, of course, I already have someone to warm my bed.  But I knew taking these two would bring you to me. I wanted to meet you, see you outside of your role as captain of that pathetic crew you keep.”

Zir and Carisa needed to hurry up with those explosives.

“Oh, one last thing.” He stood up pushing Seren onto Aydin who seems to have recovered enough of himself to pull her into a hold shielding her body with his. “Your family is still looking for you, though this time it's for your head on a platter.”

He caressed Kael’s face the touch making his skin crawl. “Call off your crew and I’ll let you leave with these two.”

“Give me Seren’s contract.” He demanded.

“You’ll have to buy it from me, buy her from me, this is me letting you … borrow the girl, now leave now or I’ll sell your whole crew. The android’s part will go for a pretty penny, the Noctis I could sell back to the Lumar group.”

“Guys, lets pack it up, I’ll need help getting these two back to the ship.” He relayed as he shoved passed Aleyn, picking up Seren, “Aydin, can you walk?”

“Maybe,” His voice was rough with disuse, at least Kael hoped it was only from disuse. “ ‘Lante here?”

“Your crew is at the entrance. Keres will help you to the door.”

Kael knew this was far from over. He would end the other man. But for now, Seren and Aydin need medical attention or at least a place to let whatever Aleyn gave them to work its way through their system.

His crew, his real family, being safe is what mattered now. He could destroy the other man once that was done.

[flyinggraceon]

Boob Pocket

Summary: “Babe. Look,” he said, as he pushed his boobs together and upwards, “Boobs.”

Behind his mask, Dick blinked.

“Boobs,” he repeated slowly.

Or, the time in which Dick and Wally are hit with a sex changing ray and everyone's pretty chill about it because it's 2018.

find this at ao3!

Dick sighed and threw a bird-a-rang into the wall. By now, Wally had already stopped reacting at the sound of it.

“I can't believe we got hit by a stupid ray.”

Wally huffed. “I know. And I can't believe we get stuck in here and there aren't even any shown effects. I mean, except that I'm tired. Maybe I'm hungry?”

Dick chuckled and rolled over to his side to look at Wally.

“At least we get to spend some time together.”

Wally smiled rolled to his side too, propping himself up on his elbow.

“Now that's the silver lining we deserve.”

They stared at each other contently, until.

“I mean, even if by force, this is the first time we've been together, alone, in like three weeks.”

Dick rolled his eyes. “I know, I know. Gotham's just been crazy lately.”

Wally loomed over Dick. “I know. Training with uncle B has been kinda hard lately, too. I mean, after these mornings exercises and the mission, my legs are all wibbly-wobbly.”

Wally's hand went to lay over Dick's chest, and Dick placed his hand on top of it.

“ Orrrrr , it could be you. You do that to me sometimes.”

Dick blushed and his eyes widened drawing a smug grin from Wally. Catching the World’s Second Greatest Detective off guard was just something a few lucky got to do. You know, before dying or something. Dick tightened his hold on Wally's hand in response.

“Shut up,” he whispered.

Wally took it as his cue to lean in and kiss his boyfriend, even if just chappedly, because, well, Batman (and the whole League, and, um, the team) had access to the camera feed and he wasn't comfortable with that level of PDA.

Satisfied, Wally layed down and pulled Dick towards his chest. They fell asleep.

…

Before fully waking up, Wally noticed two things: one, his chest hurt a lot. And two, he was so, very, very, much hungry.

He cracked an eye open and could just barely make out Dick’s form (his sight was a bit foggy with sleep), who was still sleeping on his chest. And he just—suddenly couldn’t stand to have Dick’s weight on top of him. So he gently shook Dick in hopes of waking him up. That was when  Wally’s sight cleared and he noticed—

Dick had boobs.

Wally looked down at his chest and brought his hands to his own boobs. Oh.

“Wally, what’re–”

“Babe. Look ,” he said, as he pushed his boobs together and upwards,  “Boobs.”

Behind his mask, Dick blinked.

“Boobs,” he repeated slowly.

Wally nodded. Dick looked down at his boobs, “...boobs.”

…

Batman cleared them to go out of the room, but not to go back to their civilian lives. Civilian clothing was okay, though they had to use oversized shirts, since their usual clothing wouldn't fit

The boys had been majorly freaking out, but once they ran some tests and were assured they should go back to normal in twenty-four hours, they were pretty calm about the whole thing—which, kind of ruined making fun of them for the rest of the team.

Wally had to actively stop himself from rubbing his aching boobs, “I didn’t know these hurt so bad.”

Zatanna shrugged. “I mean, they do hurt but they also grow gradually, so I’m guessing it must be more painful for you guys?”

“That… makes sense.”

Dick crossed his arms over his chest, feeling uncomfortably exposed—which Artemis took notice of.

“Do you guys want to borrow a bra?”

…

It turned out that bras were a bit uncomfortable, but sport tops were glorious . Also, tops were more adaptable to sizes so they were more practical for their needs, too.

Artemis took a step towards Dick and leaned forward, inspecting his new boobs.

Dick shuffled his feet. “Just because they're temporary, doesn't mean you can stare at them…”

Zatanna giggled and Artemis took her cue, stepping back.

“You're right. Sorry.”

Wally glanced at Dick and cleared his throat. “Well, how can we know you're not staring at our boobs, with, um, your sunglasses and all.”

Dick raised an eyebrow, and even through the glasses his eye-roll was palpable.

“You'll have to take my word for it, I guess.”

Wally hummed. “Well, if anything, you can stare at my boobs.”

Zatanna pulled Artemis away, suddenly feeling like an intruder, “O-kay.”

By then it was dinner time, for which M’gann had offered to cook. All they had left to do was sit and wait.

Wally’s legs shook as he lowered himself to sit down—causing his boob to hit the table.

Dick stop mid-laugh at the sound of a hard object hitting the table instead of, well, Wally's boob. He glanced, briefly, at Wally’s chest.

“Um, dude?”

Wally smiled sheepishly. “I, um, still haven't gotten used to them.”

Dick leaned forward, actively not looking at Wally’s boobs.

“Is that your… phone?

Wally blinked, then simply smiled cheekily. “Oh yeah, I'm loving this Boob Pocket.”

Dick turned to meet Wally’s gaze, and snickered.

“Wally. That's–that’s not –”

Wally waved his hand. “Po ta to, pot- ah -to, same thing.”

“I don't think the girls would appreciate it if you called it that,” despite his tone, Dick smiled fondly.

He ignored Dick's comment completely. “It's really handy, considering girl clothes don't always have pockets.”

Dick pondered, “You’re right I guess. In your own, weird way.”

Wally smirked, “Oh, you know it.”

Dick rolled his eyes (again).

“Do you ever get tired of that?”

Dick smiled. “Comes from a place of love , babe.”

…

Dinner was okay and without any (more) incidents. Dick and Wally found themselves wanting to make out the most of their spare time (aka literally make out) and disappeared into Wally’s room right after.

They sat on Wally’s bed.

“This isn't weird right?”

Dick smiled. “Of course not. It's us.”

“Right.”

“You're still you and I'm still me.”

Wally returned the smile. “Right, right.”

Wally’s timid hands snaked around Dick’s slim waist, while Dick cupped Wally’s cheeks.

Chapped lips met chapp er lips. Wally's hands slided to Dick’s back, pulling him closer, and Dick's hands went to Wally’s short hair, pulling gently.

Dick pulled away. “Are you… is that chapstick?”

Wally grinned.

“I’ve found it really helps with chapped lips.”

Dick rolled his eyes good-naturedly. “Okay. Gimme some.”

Wally pecked Dick. “Is that enough?”

Wally pecked his lips again and Dick smiled into the kiss. “You're so cheesy sometimes.”

“You love it.”

“Yeah, I do.”

Please do leave a comment if you enjoyed it, it would make me happy to know :^)Fun(?) fact: Wally putting his phone in his bra and then hitting the table with it happened to me and inspired this fic, except I was trying to hide my phone whilst keeping it close to me.

!!!!!Please don't put your phones in your bra!!!!!

"Although no definitive research exists proving that putting your cell phone in your bra causes breast cancer, Dr. Oz recommends playing it safe." (x)

[wildishmazz]

Discovery! Aw yeah!

Netflix doesn’t like letting you know what timestamp you’re at, so these are approximate.

01:36 That’s a useful parrot.

01:50 Everything’s made out of sand? That’s kinda cool, if you don’t need anything to be permanent.

01:55 Ahh, this is the president, isn’t it?

02:25 right, so he spends his life waiting… does he know that he’s waiting for Discovery? Did records get unsealed?

03:00 And now, something for the action fans.

04:00 Space/time anomaly detected, so he flies straight at it. Natch.

04:20 Full system reboot can’t help but feel a bit comedic after Rutherford and his implant.

05:00 Is this planet still Terralysium? Wherever it is, it’s M-class, which is lucky. Given the life support failure.

06:00 Oh shit, what caused that crater?

06:30 No, they do not read.

07:15 Yeah, but what kind of lifeforms?

08:00 Alright, Michael, now what?

09:00 Name, rank, and serial number? Honey, the planet hasn’t taken you as a prisoner of war.

09:45 Yeah, towards the other impact is probably wise.

10:30 The DOT-7s are so cute.

11:30 helicopter shots. TNG could never.

12:00 Mate, she knows Vulcan martial arts, she can neck pinch you.

13:15 it may be an antique mate but it still works.

14:00 Don’t talk about her parts like that. It’s creepy.

15:00 How big is his ship?

16:00 Dilithium recrystaliser. Good for Po.

17:15 Define “normal”.

17:30 is Grudge the cargo?

19:00 Dude, have you figured out yet that she’s from the past?

19:45 Oh. That’s disappointing. We wanted Omega particles.

21:30 Looks like Freecloud again.

23:00 I like Book.

23:30 So the Orions have got into the escrow business. I wonder what’s happened to the Ferengi?

24:45 Why do I feel like that line is going to change its meaning?

25:15 Oh my god, they’re Bang Bang and Shooty.

26:00 I love this scene. I just love it.

28:00 It’s probably ice cream. You know, if Xahea’s become important in the galaxy, that might be completely true.

28:30 I suspect that “She’s a queen” might be entirely literal.

29:00 and then the scene freezes and she glows blue, and leaps to another life.

29:10 Beautiful. After all, she was saying she had to trust someone, and it had to be him.

29:45 Some of the faces she is pulling are pure art.

30:15 Fill your boots, girl.

31:00 that’s a whole lot of murder.

31:30 Why does this feel so much like Rutherford and Tendi running away from Badgey in the holosuite? Only with a whole lot more people dying? I’m guessing those weapons don’t have a stun setting…

32:15 Nice.

33:00 At least it looks like a geothermal lake.

33:15 At some point she won’t be punching you, mate, she’ll be neck pinching you.

34:00 Well, that’s interesting. Looks like a philodendron. It also looks about as real as the singing plants from The Cage…

34:45 Nice reversal - the man patching up the woman after a battle.

36:00 President dude from earlier’s going to pick this signal up, isn’t he?

36:10 Took your time to work it out, didn’t you?

36:30 I hope that’s not the only acknowledgement the Temporal Wars get…

37:15 Bang Bang and Shooty! I hoped we’d be seeing them again. I wonder which one of them writes novels? In crayon? Which he hasn’t had published yet, so he’s in a bad mood?

39:00 Give me your hand, darling…

40:00 There’s, um, there’s a lot of gratuitous death happening here.

40:30 She’ll be fine, they need her for next week.

41:00 …are tranceworms the creatures Barclay saw in phase, somehow?

42:00 Poacher turned gamekeeper.

42:45 That’s top notch background acting for you, point and smile at something you can’t see.

44:00 the dude with the holographic everything?

45:30 Well, he’ll try… but there’s not much he can do.

46:00 Sounds like you need some relay stations, then.

47:00 Isn’t that essentially what happened with Spock and Nero? They were slightly out of sync, and the result was landing decades apart?

49:00 I suspect this is a lot more emotional for Americans than anyone else, what with their attitude towards flags.

[femvulvaphile]

let’s break that weird shit down, then

“We’ve been here since the beginning. I know your hate group, your little Nazi sub-sect, has this lie you like to spread that we suddenly spring into being from whole cloth in the 1970s, but that fighting all through history? WE’VE. BEEN THERE. FOR ALL OF IT.” cool but that’s literally not what I said. transwomen’s and women’s fights are inherently different. Sex-based oppression doesn’t DIRECTLY affect transwomen: you will never be shunned for menstruating, you will never be afraid of having your prepubescent vulva mutilated for the sick pleasure of a men five times your age, you will never be afraid of being impregnated against your will, or of miscarriage of a wanted child, or of all the pregnancy and birth complications who are still killing women all over the world. you will never know what it’s like to have men catcall and grope you when you’re nine years old just because your boobs already began to grow.   

"The demonization of trans women is a relatively recent invention in the grand scheme of human history and it is one that you have helped re-surge into the modern world.” that’s bullshit. the “demonization” you’re talking about can refer to one of two things: either the conservative view that transwomen are “deviant men” (which I definitely agree is shitty), or the radical feminist view that transwomen retain their male socialization and so, as a group, can represent danger to women (which is backed up by research, btw, and the amount of “receipts” in the form of news reports of transwomen hurting and murdering cis women AND in the unending threats and harassment that radfems receive online and irl).

"The idea of ASAB and tying it to gender in some inviolate and unchangeable way is something colonizing white people brought to this country, and others they invaded.” cool but that’s bullshit? pretty much every culture on earth has a history of identifying biological sex and applying sociological roles to them. that’s not a white invention, that’s not the fruit of colonialism. the concept of “gender” as behaviors and roles based on reproductive function has existed for as long as people have existed. some cultures have stricter rules about them, others are more loose. some cultures refuse to acknowledge non-conforming people as their “original gender”, and then you have things like two-spirit or hijras.

"Whether you realize it or not, and…let’s be honest, you probably do, your actions, your hate group, is just a laser-guided subsection of what fascism and white supremacy stands for.” wtf tho. fascists and white supremacists and nazi want a “pure” world without “lesser” groups, like black people, jewish people, homosexuals, gnc people. how is female-only radical feminism the same? are you aware that plenty of radical feminists are woc themselves, and even jewish? are you aware that the vast majority of people you’d call “terfs” aren’t even american, or english speakers? we literally just want men to stop fucking murdering us.

“Without colonization, without white supremacy, your argument, your constant, hammering on “male” as if to conjure some demon from the word, would mean nothing.” male violence has been a reality in human history. it’s not a theory, it’s not up to debate. it’s a fact. you know it is, according to your original post talking about men posing the most danger to transwomen. women all over the world are victims of men. it doesn’t change whether we talk about it, or use the words male, men, amab.

"I don’t mean that in the rhetorical sense, I mean literally, your words would not have a cogent basis without that.” again, bullshit. male violence is everywhere, in every culture, in every part of the world, regardless of how much contact with europen colonization the culture has had. japanese men are violent, russian men are violent, french men are violent, english men are violent, american men are violent, cuban men are violent, argentinian men are violent, brazilian men are violent. nazis didn’t invent misogyny.

“How fucking dare you invoke my dead sisters, how fucking dare you bring up that most of us getting murdered are PoC, while peddling Nazi approved propaganda.” uh. it’s “nazi approved propaganda” to say that women face violence from men and therefore need safe spaces from them? and I brought up the groups that murdered transwomen belong to because YOUR GROUP likes using them, using your so-called dead sisters, as argument points, as proof that a white middle class educated men with a dress and lipstick is somehow more oppressed than any woman on earth.

“Meanwhile, asshole,” oh cool name calling when I wrote a relatively calm and non-offensive post. “I was talking about SHARED SPACES. LGBT focused communities, the ones you are perpetually try to focus trans lesbians out of because you view us as the worst of what you already consider the worst.” yeah, maybe we wouldn’t need to do that if “lesbian” transwomen could stop demanding so much from women, or if they’d stop claiming protagonism when they don’t even experience SAME-SEX ATTRACTION, which historically has been, you know, the entire defining poing for “lgbt” people.

“You didn’t even notice it, did you? You were just launching into Pre-Written Terf Rhetoric #5 without so much as reading what I actually. Fucking. Said.” dude, you’re calling me a nazi literally just because I said women deserve female-only spaces and transwomen should create their own safe spaces away from men instead of demanding entry and protection from women.

"Your insistence that we’re “straight men” only serves to try and push us out of those communities as well." you have more in common with straight men than with lesbians, tho. you don’t experience same-sex attraction, you’re not female, you can impregnate a female lesbian (depending on transition specifics, but let’s be honest: the big problem is the transwomen who claim “there’s no need to need to transition bc my dick is a woman’s dick”), if you’re not “passing” you don’t need to fear homophobic violence from strangers.

“Jesus fuck, like did you even notice that was the fucking point? Like your shoving us aside as non-women is already fucked up but that wasn’t even the point of this particular post.” the point of your post was vilifying women who question the notion that “transwomen are exactly the same as women”. the point of your post was putting the blame on women, “terfs”, for what men do.

"The idea that men view us as also men is so beyond laughable I can’t even properly convey it.” they view you as “DEFECTIVE” men. they definitely don’t view you as women. men are violent towards you as a result of toxic masculinity - a non-conforming male is a threat to their notion of rigid male-female roles. the violence towards you is closer in motivation to the violence towards gay men, rather than the one towards women.

"But I’m just going to say: You don’t live our lives. You don’t live our experiences.” yes. just like you don’t live the lives of women. which is exactly why I said transwomen do deserve safe spaces, but not by invading female-only safe spaces.

"If you don’t know how wrong you are it’s because you’re incapable of treating our words as anything but the words of the target of your hate and thus discarded.” you’re lumping me in with nazis (I’m a latina gender-non-conforming lesbian, I’d be raped and killed by actual nazis faster than you could type “op is a terf”), refusing to actually ACKNOWLEDGE the things I said, bringing up way more arguments than the ones on your original post, and then blaming me for not being able to read your mind.

“The power you hold is that you have been aligning yourself with right-wing christian groups,” bullshit. again: women can’t even get men to stop raping us. how exactly do you think we have any power, any voice, over THE most misogynistic men on the planet?

"the power you hold is that your ilk has been speaking to audiences wherever they can find them in academia for decades,” again, bullshit. women have been in academia for, like, two years, in comparison to how long men have been dominating every public and private space.

"the power you hold is that you went into the communities that might have helped us stay alive and sowed false accusations to turn others against us,” b u l l s h i t. YOU came into OUT communities demanding we treat you as equals, when we are observably NOT equals. sex-based oppression doesn’t affect transwomen the same way it does women. men’s violence is distinctly different based on your sex.

"the power you hold is in helping, insidiously, to uphold the institutional biases that keep us marginalized, alone, and dying.” the same can be said of modern trans rights activists, tho. you’re all contributing to the strengthening of gender as a hierarchy - and not because you need to conform to survive. no, your original message (the one we can still hear from drag queens and transvestites from stonewall, for instance, that your kind likes to claim as “transwomen”) has been corrupted to the point where people look at a feminine gay boy and tell him he must be trans, he must transition, he must be a woman because he likes makeup and is attracted to men. your kind tells parents of vulnerable children that their little boys and girls will KILL THEMSELVES if they don’t take hormones as soon as possible. your group tells lesbians they need to suck dick to be proper lesbians. your group supports (and breeds) more murderers, rapists, and pedophiles than radical feminism could. your group tells women of color, lesbians, survivors of all sorts of male violence, that they’re the problem. you tell us we’re even worse than men. you tell us to die, you threaten us with rape, with baseball bats. you punch sixty year old women who dare take a picture of people trying to silence women. you rape and murder a twelve year old girl. you rape and forcibly impregnate a female trans person, and then brag about it. you support rapists and pedophiles being housed in women’s prison because of their “gender feels”. 

you tell women to shut up about their own experiences. you tell women they’re not the “right kind” of women. you tell women they’re not woman “enough”. you tell them to sacirfice themselves for yet another male.

“And yes, before you even start, I’m blocking you. I don’t debate Nazis or Nazi bootlicks.” still nowhere near being a nazi, but alright.

bonus:

“also do they just have a terf blog name generator somewhere, i swear all terf blogs read like a bunch of synonyms for vagina and spellings of rad and possibly a wolf reference or phile or fetishist, all put in a random name generator” that’s hilarious to men because I literally saved this url after I seeing an asshole claim that lesbians aren’t allowed to call themselves lesbians if they don’t suck dick, and that they’re actually vagina fetishists. the person used -phile on something, I can’t recall what, and I immediately thought “hmm, yes. I love vulvas. I’m a vulvaphile. A female vulvaphile.” 

[johnnymundano]

The Theatre Bizarre (2011)

Directed by Douglas Buck, Buddy Giovinazzo, David Gregory, Karim Hussain, Jeremy Kasten, Tom Savini and Richard Stanley

Written by Scarlett Amaris, Douglas Buck, John Esposito, Buddy Giovinazzo, David Gregory, Karim Hussain, Emiliano Ranzani and Richard Stanley

Music by Simon Boswell, Susan DiBona and Marquis Howell of Hobo Jazz

Country: United States

Language: English

Running Time: 114 minutes

CAST

Udo Kier as Peg Poett

Virginia Newcomb as Enola Penny

Kaniehtiio Horn as The Writer (segment 'Vision Stains')

Victoria Maurette as Karina (segment 'The Mother Of Toads')

Shane Woodward as Martin (segment 'The Mother Of Toads')

André Hennicke as Axel (segment 'I Love You')

Suzan Anbeh as Mo (segment 'I Love You')

James Gill as Donnie (segment 'Wet Dreams')

Tom Savini as Dr. Maurey (segment 'Wet Dreams')

Debbie Rochon as Carla (segment 'Wet Dreams')

Lena Kleine as The Mother (segment 'The Accident')

Mélodie Simard as The Daughter (segment 'The Accident')

Lindsay Goranson as Estelle (segment 'Sweets')

Guilford Adams as Greg (segment 'Sweets')

Framing Segments

Directed by Jeremy Kasten

Written by Zach Chassler

Cast:

Udo Kier as Peg Poett

Virginia Newcomb as Enola Penny

The Theatre Bizarre is a series of six shorts largely in hock to the grand-guignol tradition of naturalistic horror (i.e. proper ketchup, matey). I know this not because of any keen interest in French theatre but because the framing sequence is called ‘Theatre Guignol’, and it is into this terribly mysterious theatre that Enola Penny (Virginia Newcomb) dreamily wanders one decisive night. Each of the following sections is introduced by the indefatigable Udo Kier playing a big puppet (literally “grand guignol”) who becomes less puppet-like as the movie wears on and (cue wobbly theremin) Enola become less human. Which might be an artistic statement about desensitisation, but is definitely an excuse to watch Udo Kier popping robot-moves, which I think we can all agree is a good thing.

The Mother of Toads

Directed by Richard Stanley

Written by Richard Stanley, Scarlett Amaris and Emiliano Ranzani

Cast:

Catriona MacColl as Mere Antoinette

Shane Woodward as Martin

Victoria Maurette as Karina

Lisa Belle as The Naked Witch (as Lisa Crawford)

Amelie Salomon as The Monster

The Mother of Toads is apparently based on a Clark Ashton Smith story of the same name which I haven’t read, with a bit of HP Lovecraft chucked in. It features a pair of unpleasant young Americans holidaying in France, and I’m not dissing Americans there, this pair really are unlikable; Karina moans that everything is in French in France (quelle surprise!), while Martin is so anaesthetised by his own acumen he can barely push his smug words past the thicket of his trendy beard. They come unstuck when bargain hunting in a French market where a handsome older lady with a mesmerising accent saucily offers Martin a peek at her Necronomicon. Bundling Karina off to a spa Martin spends the day with the accommodating and increasingly ardent crone, drinking suspicious brews and fingering her dusty leaves. Things end badly. This was an agreeably silly creature feature with plenty of the old ugh! quotient, an endearing lack of logic and a pervading sense of encroaching doom. The humour leavening proceedings is clearly no accident; there’s an excellent joke when Martin attempts to extricate himself from a post-coital bed without waking his sleeping and somewhat slimy partner. Probably rings a few bells in the audience that bit. It’s just enjoyably daft, tongue-in-cheek stuff and a welcome reminder that Richard (Hardware (1990), Dust Devil (1992)) Stanley is still rocking his smart-trash groove.

I Love You

Directed by Buddy Giovinazzo

Written by Buddy Giovinazzo

Cast:

André Hennicke as Axel

Suzan Anbeh  as Mo

I Love You is a pretty tough watch and unusually it’s not because of the climactic gore. Axel wakes up in his bathroom disorientated and bloody; turns out he’s an insecure, self-destructive mess who has driven his lady Mo away. Mo returns to sever all ties and leave for good. What follows is an emotionally harrowing battle between two damaged people where words are weapons and the hurt is internal. As blood spattered as the despairing denouement may be the real horror is the extended verbal flensing Mo delivers to Martin, in which she destroys not only his present but also his past. And is she telling the truth? Or is it a desperate attempt to extricate herself from his unquenchable neediness? Like a fox gnawing its paw off to escape the trap? Sometimes uncertainty can be another level of horror. Buddy Giovinazzo delivers a classily acted, tautly suspenseful two-hander which leaves an emotional stain which persists for days.

Wet Dreams

Directed by Tom Savini

Written by John Esposito

Cast:

Debbie Rochon as Carla

Tom Savini as Dr. Maurey

James Gill as Donnie

Jodii Christianson as Maxine

Wet Dreams is directed by Tom Savini, who is legendary in horror for his SFX work and slightly less legendary for his acting, so there’s no excuse for doing an Elvis double take at the fact he’s given himself a role and that his segment is luridly gory. He’s no slouch at directing either, which is nice. The esteemed Mr. Savini plays a psychiatrist, the kind who drinks on the job and talks about raping his mum (i.e. a movie psychiatrist), treating Donnie, a preening jackass who likes smacking his wife, Carla, about and cheating on her. See, Donnie’s having recurring nightmares wherein his sexy dream fun times climax with him being tortured and castrated by his long-suffering wife, in a series of gruesomely humorous and visually explicit ways. Gentlemen viewers may never again think of a fry-up without skittishly crossing their legs. Serves Donnie right you might think, but by the end of the dream-within-a-dream misdirection and its gruesomely pre-code EC Comics twist finale you might think again. Ugh. I mean….ugh. I...Jesus. What could have just been a gratuitous mess of general dismemberment is deftly directed by the savant Savini, resulting in an amoral immorality tale. And need it be said that his skills in the SFX dept remain second to none? No, it need not. So pretend I didn’t say it.

The Accident

Directed by Douglas Buck

Written by Douglas Buck

Cast:

Lena Kleine as Mother

Mélodie Simard as Daughter

Jean-Paul Rivière as Old Biker

Bruno Décary as Young Biker

The Accident provides a brief respite from the onslaught of sensationalistic gore, a pit stop if you will. Even if you won’t, it definitely centres around a cute child asking her blasé mother questions about mortality, said questions raised in the tiny, inquiring mind after the witnessing of an accident earlier in the day involving a deer and a cocky motorcyclist. It’s a very restrained piece, very accomplished, and softer in tone than anything before or after it. There’s a touch of grue when the deer is finished off, but mostly the horror here is the complete horseshit parents come out with to calm their offspring with regards to the ultimately absurd nature of life and death, a subject which everyone spends a lot of time avoiding thinking about on a day to day basis and about which they would rather not be cross-examined about by a child at bedtime. As upsetting as the sight of the deer’s tongue lolling out of its bug eyed head was (very), it wasn’t as upsetting as realising all the lies you have to fill your kid with just so they can function in what we’ve all decided to call reality. Compared to all that, lying about Santa Claus is a minor misdemeanour.

Vision Stains

Directed by Karim Hussain

Written by Karim Hussain

Cast:

Kaniehtiio Horn as The Writer

Cynthia Wu-Maheux as Junkie Girl

Imogen Haworth as Pregnant Woman

Rachelle Glait  as Older Homeless Woman

Alex Ivanovici  as Junkie Man

I have a thing about eye trauma. Not a sexual thing, a “flinch and wave your hands about like you’re warding off invisible birds” thing. It’s a running joke in the Mundano family unit; if there’s some serious eye trauma afoot in the viewing choice, all eyes fall on the father figure as he  tenses for impact. Those similarly (dis)inclined should be warned that there is a seriously impressive amount of eye trauma in Vision Stains. It’s built in as the whole episode rests on the Horror Movie Science concept of people’s past lives flashing before their eyes at the point of death. So if you extract their eye juice as they die and inject it into your own eye you will get to live the edited highlights of another life. Obviously. That sounds about as appealing as it sounds scientifically feasible, but our serial killer heroine is well into it. She basically harvests the lives of the homeless to make up for her personal shortfall in dreams. Judging by the massive pile of notebooks in which she has written the details of all the lives she has nicked, its worked out quite well for her. But people, even dreamless serial killers who prey on the homeless,  are never satisfied, so she decides to take the next step and find out what happens before people have a life to flash in front of their eyes. The results are mixed. Ultimately you can’t help thinking it would have been a lot quicker and far easier on the homeless population if she’d just read Tbomas Ligotti’s The Conspiracy Against the Human race. It’s all very silly but the po-faced approach suggests it is straining for some grandiose meaning; it fails. But it does feature a fantastic amount of eye trauma. Each to their own.

Sweets

Directed by David Gregory

Written by David Gregory

Cast:

Lindsay Goranson as Estelle

Guilford Adams as Greg

Lynn Lowry as Mikela Da Vinci

Jessica Remmers as Antonia

With Sweets, things close on a hilariously disgusting note. A deadpan Estelle and a semi-hysterical Greg talk about their dying relationship in the most banal clichés imaginable as they sit in what was once an apartment, but is now a kind of edible sty plastered with smushed up confectionery.  As trite nonsense falls from her lips Estelle slowly sucks a melting ice cream into her deadpan face. Greg flailing to rescue the dead relationship counters with the expected whiny responses, while spasmodically picking filthy sweets off the floor and ingesting them with all the automotive panache of the true addict. Their stale interactions are punctuated by a series of flashbacks  which parody cinema’s rote scenes of romance, with the pair swilling sweet shit like swilling sweet shit is going out of fashion. Luckily for Greg, Estelle hasn’t quite finished with him, unluckily for Greg he’s about to find out what that means. Sweets is pretty funny in its lip-smacking attack on love and addiction (and love as addiction), and is delightfully cartoonish in style; Estelle is often colour coordinated from hair to shoes with whatever sickly delicacy she is proffering. Of course all the comedy and caricature serve only to distract you while Sweets prepares a delightful gut punch of horror, before the management politely ask you to leave.

 TL;DR: The Theatre Bizarre: it’s worth a watch, but not if you’re squeamish.

[ancientnapdragon]

Restless: another superhero au

i’m angry at the world right now and i have the flu and it’s shark week so i’m TAKIING OUT MY PAIN with a random superhero au at 6 am.  normally i would write this down in a file to store but i’m too lazy to get up so sorry everyone.  it’s klance cause i’m a pos.  sue me.  under the cut if you are actually interested or whatever lmao let’s GO.

this is probably really stupid and rambly cause i’m jotting ideas down before i go to sleep so sorry i’ll do my best

its a superhero au so it takes place in some type of large city or area a-la new york or like metropolis or gotham or something.    large area means lots of villains but also lots of heroes i guess too?

being born with superpowers/inheriting them/whatever is common enough, but it’s not SUPER common.  like, i'd say that maybe one in about every thousand people is 'blessed' with power naturally, but it’s very rare you actually get something cool.  like you'll be born with superpowers and get the ability to sneeze super loud or something lmao.

zarkon is our big bad ofc he is.  he's been moving from city to city around the world in superpower dense areas.  why?  to STEAL THEIR POWERS.  zarkon is called The Void on the street, and his power is literally to take other people's powers and add them to his whole repertoire of fuckery.  he's crazy powerful and in the last year he's decimated places bad enough that heroes AND villains are scared of him.  apparently he's after something crazy powerful, but doesn't know where it's at, so he's just kind of wandering and looking for it.

haggar ofc is like his number 2, and its no secret that they hate each other, but for some reason he can't absorb her power and he's too strong for her to take out.  so why fight when they could work together or whatever.

anyway, she has like this crazy dark magic type stuff.  telekinesis, spirit channeling, crazy lightning bolts and even low-level necromancy if the body is fresh enough.  she's crazy powerful and can boost or nullify other people's powers, too.  for a price.

no surprises here but they're making their way to Lion Kickass Voltron RockNRoll City (the tentative name for where our beloved character live).  also no surprises that recently orphaned billionaire Allura and her plucky butler Coran have just what zarkon is looking for.

Allura's family is one with the ability to 'pass down' their powers to a younger generation, so when king Alfor died he passed on a type of very special crystallomancy.  it helps them use the natural energies of the world to see the future and also shape it to their will.  it's not a godsend power, making little ripples here and there in the timestream still takes a while, but it's hella powerful when used correctly.

Coran actually has a power, too.  he can sense and nullify poison, and his family has worked hand in hand with allura's for generations to keep her family safe.  the agreement is that for this protection they have to shape the world for the better.  also, he could kick your ass in don't think he's just a pretty mustache.

Both of them are active in the underground network of vigilante heroes, but they play a more passive role of assisting them into money when they need it or tips on where crimes will happen.  which really ticks Allura off cause she's not a 'passive' type of gal, you know?

shiro is a cop who was forced to retire early cause of an accident where he lost his arm.  he suspects foul play and a major cover up, cause his partner on the case ended up dying, too.  then not long after his partner's scientist father 'vanished'.  shiro doesn't know what happened to them, but he doesn't like it.  he's been trying to look more into it but every time he's looked, he's been led astray or met resistance.

he eventually runs across zarkon and haggar by accident, and haggar 'curses' him with power for his meddling.  he loses a year where he gets the name of Champion by the underground and a reputation as a brutal killer who doesn't have a soul.  he's got a magical gauntlet replacing his arm that he can't take off, which gives him super strength.  he's also got higher endurance and stamina, plus he's numb to some pains.  the only drawback is that if he uses his powers too much, he goes into a rage state where he has to 'fill the gauntlet with hate'.

its not a power he's proud of or uses very often.

he woke up three months prior to the story, dumped and bleeding in an alleyway.  he's confused cause he lost a year and has more questions that he has answers.  it's through good luck, for him, that allura finds him not long after and takes his him.  he's been slowly regaining his reputation as a hero and not a villain under allura's guidance while also looking for his own answers.

keith is a magical girl.

no, really, he kind of is.  The codename and powers of 'Valkyrie' has been around since the 1920s.  The powers are connected to a magical artifact, the worn and battered grip of a silver spear.  the spear 'chooses' who inherits its power.  every previous incarnation has been a woman, cause it's who the spear wanted.  the name and power has a whole brand behind it, cause it's powerful and been around a long time.  six years before the story started, the previous chosen wielder of the spear died and it's been dormant ever since.

the relic is protected by a hidden society of women who had been secretly training a replacement ever since even before the last Valkyrie died.  then along comes Keith and fucks it up.  he's 13 when his foster parents Romella and Thace take him in.  turns out Romella and his foster sisters, along with a lot of the stuffy wives and daughters of the stuffy suburban home he's living in, are part of the secret society.

he finds the relic and it chooses him, so he's Valkyrie now.  Romella and Thace adopt him cause I WANT HIM TO HAVE PEOPLE WHO LOVE HIM.  he starts training to be able to use these powers, and he has his own underground spy network of women.  plus like four older foster sisters??? who says lance always has to be the one with a bunch of siblings???  let keith be happy 2k17.

he doesn't actually go 'onto the street' to fight crime, which he hates cause he is a rash child, until he's seventeen and Romella dubs his training 'complete'.  he's nineteen at the start of the story and has earned himself a reputation as being a harsh punisher who isn't afraid to curb stomp your ass.

ANYWAY WHAT HIS POWERS ACTUALLY DO.  when he activates the spear relic, it transforms into a magical silver spear.  he also gains full battle armor, also made of this mythical silver.  everything is enchanted.  of course he can kick your ass with the spear itself, but he's also good at hand to hand combat.  he can't fly, but he can do 'sustained hovers' and jump super high.  he can also shriek out a war cry and boost the powers of those around him.  his most impressive, and the most rarely used, part of his power is the ability to summon lightning strikes (they're kind of hot like fire, right???).  its very draining on him, though.  his biggest weakness is the relic, cause if he loses it for too long, he can't sustain his magical form and will just be a regular person until he can grab it again.

i kind of imagine that his outfit looks kind of like the Valkyrie class from Bravely Default, the girl choice and not the boy, cause it's kick ass.  just with red highlights and like a strip over his eyes to hide his secret identity or whatever.

hunk is my precious bean so we'll do him next.

hunk was born with his powers.  he's got the name Alchemist cause of them, but he's more utility than combat.  if you give hunk the raw materials for things, granted he can fit it between his hands and he knows well enough how it works, he can 'squeeze it together' and make that object.  so, if he knows the intricacy of a computer chip and he is given the metals or plastics needed in a raw form, he can make it with his bare hands.  since he's studied to be an engineer, and when working with someone like Pidge, he could create some truly heinous things... but he doesn't.  cause hunk is pure

under times of stress or when attacked, he has been known to make mini bombs.  however, that isn't really his style.  he works with Pidge and Lance as a part of a group just called Palette.

more on him in a second let me do an intro to Palette first.

Palette, as mentioned, is made up of Lance, Pidge and Hunk.  They're good guys, but more of the fast and loose 'we do what we want' kind... or at least Lance and Pidge are.  poor hunk just gets caught up in their mess but he loves them and knows they do the right thing in the end.

they do things like steal artifacts from museums and help return them to where they belong, or will sneak into a corrupt ceo's office to leak some nasty business deal.  that kind of stuff.  they have been known to pinch a little money, too, but only from said shady people who don't need it and only enough to find themselves as a way to scrape by a living.

this doesn't make them exactly seen as 'friends of heroes' in all cases.

hunk does technical work like making the raw parts needed for certain extractions.  he then works with pidge to build whatever machines or things are needed and plan the heists.

pidge is the mastermind, a genius hacker who gets stuff like blueprints or downs security systems.

then lance is the one who slips in and plants the bug, or steals the thing, or gets the info and then gets out.

they're overall a positive force.  while gaining noterioty, they aren't really known that much outside of the city where they live and a few other places nearby.  they've been active about two years before the story begins.

anyway.  hunk is twenty at the start of the story.  his powers came in 'late', so he grew up pretty normal with his mom and younger sisters.  he's known lance since he was ten, and they've been kicking ass together since they were fourteen.  hunk didn't get any powers until he was sixteen, though, so he was always the one to patch lance up after something rough happened.  he met pidge three years prior to the story.  they've been friends ever since.

pidge next!  pidge is a seventeen year old tech wizard who can hack your underwear if you cross them.

this isn't their power, though.  they're just really fucking smart and worked hard for the ability to be so kick ass.

pidge actually has plantmancy, and can grow things to their desire or have plants obey them.  it’s more helpful than most people know, and it can be scary to walk in and see pidge surrounded by ten vines all handing them parts or working like seven keyboards at once by using their plants.  it’s also good for combat, but pidge is rarely in the center of the action so they don't have to use it as much.

when matt and sam died, pidge has suspicions like shiro did that something just wasn't right.  their dad was a well known and respected researcher on helping isolate the gene that made people have powers in the first place.  their brother was also a top notch detective and a known ally to the Heroes of the city.  plus, everything around the case that he died was just mysterious and nothing added up. too much like a cover up.

this is what pushed pidge to hone her powers, which had shown early and as a child was just used to help in her mom's garden.  she also focused on computers to be able to get the information she wanted even if it wasn't given access.  a real force to be reckoned with and honestly probably the most powerful of her group, but she rarely shows her hand.

she joined up with hunk and lance at first as a way to use their powers for her own gain, but then later she found they worked well together and she genuinely cares about them now.  doesn't mean those dumb boys won't get a vine wedgie if they fuck with her too much tho lmao.

Pidge doesn't have an underground name cause not enough people outside of hunk and lance know she has an actual power.  which is just what she wants.  but, she goes by the codename Em, for Emerald, on the coms.

my trash son lance is last.  and this is for good reason!!!  as you will see if you even made it this far.  why do you want to read this mess???

so Lance is a sneaky snake.  except not really.  lance is our resident contortionist.  he was born with his power and has known about it since he was super small, but he never knew the full potential of what he could do until he was in his late teens.  when he was a kid he thought he could just purify water, which was pretty cool and useful.  which, he can still do that, but he can do more now.

like scry in a smooth water's surface if he knows your name and face, he can breathe underwater, and can swim like a fish.  honestly?  all very mild powers, not really anything noteworthy.  however, he's also extremely limber because of it and knot himself into a damned pretzel twice over.  he's also got a pretty good read on the area around him; that's stronger in more humid areas and weaker in dryer, cause he senses vibrations in the water particles.  useful, yeah, but it doesn't blow the doors down like keith's or shiro's power might.

that didn't stop young lance from trying to be a superhero.  he's got a slightly enhanced healing speed, but nothing impressive.  that never stopped him from getting into trouble and dragging poor hunk into it cause he wanted to be a superhero.

it wasn't until he met pidge and managed to train his body a little more than he really started to get anywhere.  sure, he wants to do good in the world, but he also chases that fame bug.  even if it's his alter ego and not himself, he wants to be well known and adored.

his name on the streets is Galaxy, which, honestly the dumb boy came up with himself.  it’s also useful cause he claims his powers are fueled by the stars.  he knows he has an affinity for water, he does, he just likes to showboat and the boy isn't stupid.  if people don't know what to expect, they're kept on their toes.  they think he's got some weird star powers then they're less likely to strike back cause they don't know what he can really do.

it took a lot of begging and convincing in high school to join the gymnastics team for 'totally innocent' reasons for him to really capitalize on parts of his powers.  it’s also what makes him so good, which pidge and hunk's help, to break into buildings and get back out without getting caught.

he really doesn't like Keith, whom he knows as just Valkyrie (and he calls Val for short and to annoy Keith).  about seven months prior to the main plotline, they crossed paths during a heist and it was hate at first sight.  lance was going to steal something, keith was contracted to protect it.  lance was pissed he didn't get whatever he was after, and keith was pissed he didn't actually catch lance.  but this is what cemented Palette's claim to fame, cause NO ONE gets away from Valkyrie... but then this little know Galaxy kid did.  it didn't piss off lance any less tho.

they've sporadically met from time to time on opposite sides since then.  lance always managing to infuriate keith but keith always managing to ruin any of lance's plans.  there is a time or two where they kind of work together, in true 'not really evil' fashion.

i'm a slut for pining keith, so ofc he gets a crush on the boy who keeps alluding him.

after the start of the main plotline, lance’s powers mutate and he becomes way more powerful.  more on how and what happens later tho.

i'm too tired to write anymore on this right now so i'm not gunna.  i'll outline the actual plot in another post but for now i'm gunna bounce.  just be teased that lance's power changes like i mentioned up there.  also... that while i'm a slut for pining keith, i'm also a slut for the emotional repercussions of lance dying.  just... without the consequences, so spoiler but no spoiler, lance fucking dies lmao.  but then is brought back to life in true superhero fashion.

if you like this au and wanna use it to write or draw or sing or... i mean, whatever you wanna do with it, go nuts.  all i ask is you tag me or something so i can see whatever beautiful thing you've come up with.

my plans for it?  i’m gunna try and push out a series of oneshots maybe of various events in time from different characters perspectives.  they’ll range in length and seriousness and stuff.  i just like the idea of this universe and how it would be fun to play with.

anyway, i’m tired, this took me too long, and i’m still not as angry as before so good night/morning.