#I’m meant to have a first draft by Monday

[exopelagic]

i am in hell

[trevengersprincess]

Bombs on Monday Morning

Summary: In which, C/N had built a relationship with Y/N only for her to be gone sooner than he hoped.

C.W.: Mentions of death, angst, no comfort, flashbacks are in italics

A/N: This is maybe the second time I've posted a post like this. My first one was about Haikyuu and a Hispanic partner. Check it out if you'd like :) Anyway though, I've had this in my mind for so long and it's been in my drafts for so long. I just was a bit self conscious about posting it. It was inspired by the song "Bombs on Monday Morning" by Melanie Martinez because I've been obsessing over her for some reason. It's meant to be the ending of one of the stories I'm writing. If you'd like to hear about it, send me an ask. I will say, I still don't have a character for the story. Let me know, if you'd like, who you think would be the best suited for this. It can be from any fandom but I tagged the ones that I have been more in touch with. I hope you enjoy 🩵

-SunRay☀️

W.C: ~1.9K (apologizes for it being so long!)

Third Person P.O.V.

C/N was on their way to the hospital as they had made it a routine since that day. Ever since they met Y/N when visiting a sick family member, it just became something they needed to do everyday. They stumbled into her on the way to the room and he was thankful for that day. Even for being in there because of their condition, they were always so bright, like a ray of sunshine. Even after their sick family member had gotten better, they still went to visit Y/N.

Flashback

As C/N walked into the hospital with a small gift, they had asked for the floor level of their sick relative. They had taken the elevator up until they heard the ‘ding!, signaling their arrival to the preferred floor. As they were on their way out, they bumped into someone and stumbled back a bit. Just as they were about to say something, their eyes met Y/N’s eyes. A beautiful shade of E/C that could persuade anyone into their wishes. Just as they were about to speak, Y/N beat them to it.

“Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to bump into you. Did I hurt you or anything?” Y/N had asked as they looked at C/N.

“Oh, um, no. You’re good. I shouldn’t have come out so quickly. So, I’m sorry.” C/N replied and Y/N smiled softly. Just as they were about to enter the elevator, a nurse came rushing around the corner and sighed softly.

“Y/N! You know you can’t just bolt out of the room like that! Come on now. You have your treatment soon and you can’t consume anything. It will affect the results.” The nurse had said and Y/N sighed softly. They nodded before turning back to C/N.

“Sorry again for bumping into you. See ya.” Y/N said before walking towards the nurse and walked with her back to their room. That was the first time C/N ever felt any sort of emotion towards anyone that they didn’t consider family, yet.

Flashback Over

‘Bombs are falling. On Monday morning. Waiting for the news together. An explosion, any moment. You make moments last forever and ever. (You make moments last forever)’

It was Monday morning when C/N was walking into the hospital with Y/N’s favorite flowers, F/F, as they knew the ones from a few visits ago would be wilted by now. As soon as they walked into the hospital, however, they felt a different kind of atmosphere. It was almost like something was wrong. The nurse at the front desk gave them a pitiful look but C/N brushed it off. They went up to Y/N’s room, number 501  and knocked on the door. They didn’t hear anything which was odd to them. Knocking again and no answer, they walked in to find no one in the bed. The room was completely bare of Y/N’s things. They had looked around the room and didn’t find anything. Walking back out with the flowers still in hand, they found Y/N’s doctor, who recognized C/N.

“Oh, C/N? What are you doing here?” The doctor asked as she looked at them.

“I came to see Y/N. Did they move rooms?” C/N asked and the doctor gave them an awkward look.

“No, not exactly. I thought their family would’ve told you this…” The doctor said which made C/N more confused.

“Told me what? Wait, did Y/N’s treatment work?! They got better, right?! That’s the only reason they wouldn’t be here! Oh god, I better go see their family! See ya doc!” C/N said with excitement. They rushed out of the hospital without letting the doctor tell them what was actually wrong. They ran as fast as they could to Y/N’s home to see them. On their way, they couldn’t help but remember the time they had met Y/N’s family.

Flashback

C/N and Y/N were too lost in their conversation to realize the two adults stood in the doorway. A throat was cleared and both Y/N and C/N looked over with a faint red tint in their cheeks.

“Mom, dad? I thought you guys were coming later?” Y/N said as they awkwardly scratched the back of their head.

“We were but I was able to get off work early and your dad’s appointment finished sooner than he anticipated. So, we came to surprise you with some lunch. Who’s your friend?” Y/N’s mother asked.

“Oh, well, remember that day I ran into someone just before getting onto the elevator. This is them. Mom, dad, this is C/N. C/N these are my parents.” Y/N said softly with a small smile. C/N stood up and held their hand out to them.

“It’s nice to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. L/N. Y/N is such a lovely person. They are so kind and sweet. I’m so glad I met them.” C/N said with a blush on their cheeks, causing Y/N to blush and their parents to chuckle softly.

“Would you like to join us for lunch? We usually eat in the cafeteria of the hospital.” Y/N’s mother said and C/N’s eyes widened a little.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to disrupt any sort of tradition you guys do or anything of that sort.” C/N said and their parents shook their heads.

“No it’s okay, hun. Come on. Let’s go before lunch is over.” Y/N’s mother said as they walked out of the room. C/N looked back at Y/N who got out of their bed and smiled.

“At least they like you. Now come on. Let’s go.” Y/N said before taking C/N’s hand and dragging them along.

Flashback Over

‘Never thought that something. Something so tragic. Could ever happen to. Our peaceful, little perfect family’

C/N reached Y/N’s home and knocked on the door with excitement. When Y/N’s mom answered, she was shocked to see C/N. Her eyes were red and puffy which confused C/N.

“Mrs. L/N, where’s Y/N? She’s not in the hospital. So, her treatment must’ve worked right? She’s home, right?” C/N said and Y/N’s father appeared in the doorway too. He also had puffy red eyes which confused C/N more. “Mrs. L/N, Mr. L/N…What’s going on?”

“Why don’t you come inside dear?” Y/N’s mother said softly as they both stepped aside and let C/N inside. C/N was confused but walked in anyway. They led them to the living room and sat them down on the couch.

“I thought the doctor might have told you but it seems like she didn’t. So…You know the disease that Y/N had, right?” Y/N’s father said softly and C/N nodded.

“Yeah, Huntington’s Disease. They were doing a research study and trial on Y/N for a treatment…” C/N said as they looked at Y/N’s parents. Both parents nodded and sighed softly. Tears filled their eyes as they tried to keep a calm head.

“Well…T-The treatment was helping for some time as you know. But then…T-The treatment started to not work anymore and her condition was getting worse. The day we told you to not show up anymore…It wasn’t because we don’t like you, dear. We like you very much. You’re like our own child to us. It’s because…They started to lose their thinking abilities and their movements were starting to get out of control. They were starting to have seizures again and they were starting to act out irrationally. They were getting worse. A-And then…They were starting to not be able to speak or swallow without help…Eventually, they weren’t able to process anything as well as she could and slowly, their heart rate was dropping…They..They flatlined this morning…I’m sorry, C/N…Y/N passed away this morning…” Y/N’s mother said through her tears. Y/N’s father rubbed their back as he tried to hold back his own tears.

It felt as if C/N’s world came crashing down. The person they cared for the most, the one they loved and cherished dearly had passed away and they didn’t get a chance to say goodbye. C/N’s tears slowly cascaded down their face as the information had processed. A sob escaped past their lips until they couldn’t stop them anymore. Y/N’s parents went over to C/N and held them tightly. For several minutes, C/N had cried into Y/N’s parents arms until they had managed to calm down. Y/N’s parents informed them of the funeral and that they would like for them to join. C/N agreed and left after some time to their home.

Three Years Later

‘I promise, Promise to love you’

Walking down the flat grass pathway, C/N held a small bouquet of flowers until they reached the spot they were looking for. It was Monday morning, the same day that everything changed for C/N. They stood in front of the headstone and stared at it for some time. Squatting down, they changed the flowers in the small flower holder next to the stone. They sighed as they sat down and prayed quietly for a few minutes. C/N opened their eyes and stared at the headstone. “L/N Family Grave”. C/N felt tears fall down their cheeks and they tried to calm them down.

“I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to cry Y/N…I just…You’re the first person I’ve ever lost that I can’t get over…I wish we had more time together. I really miss you. I know you’re probably thinking that I can just find someone else but…I can’t…I don’t think I’ll ever be able to move on…I never got the chance to tell you…I love you, Y/N and I won’t ever stop even though you are gone.” C/N said as they wiped their tears away. A small breeze brushed through their hair as they looked down to try and stop their tears. They felt a sudden small pressure on their head and looked up. They squinted their eyes as a bright light was in front of them. They gasped softly as they saw how it looked as if it was the spirit of Y/N.

“I love you too, C/N…But you need to move on. I wish we met before I had my condition too…But I promise…There will be better people than me. I’ll always hold you deep in my heart just like you do to me…Bye bye, C/N. I love you…” Y/N said softly before the bright light disappeared and C/N had more tears streaming down their cheeks. They sobbed softly for a few minutes before taking a deep breath as they stared down at the ground.

“Pinky promise. I'll still love your garden. Even with no flowers. Even with no flowers. Doctor's orders. Don't be brokenhearted. Time will still be ours. Time will still be ours…” C/N said softly as they remembered the song that Y/N always listened to. Maybe it was their way of telling C/N that they didn’t want C/N to be brokenhearted because no matter what, the time they had was still theirs. And they would always be together.

‘Bombs are falling on Monday morning. Bombs are falling. You make moments last forever. You make moments last forever’

[woneuntonzz]

hypothesis || smau — c.s, j.wy

➤ chapter 14-A (back to chapters)

highschool senior!san x highschool senior!reader x highschool senior!wooyoung

contains: humor, fluff, a pinch of angst, light cursing, suggestive jokes, highschool au, reader is named & afab

» Hear me out... you should've just told him the first three letters instead of showing it on your phone.

⛦ ᴊᴏɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴀɢʟɪꜱᴛ!

more under the cut .ᐟ -ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

(ignore all time stamps!!)

\\

You have been waiting for San to arrive for about twenty minutes now, and it would take another swipe on your phone before you heard a car’s honk. 

choi san (girl dinner): i’m outside sab :))

Stepping out of the doorway, San would come out of his car, approaching you. In your hand you held a basket of grapefruits, which he would ask if he could take so he could carry it for you. You’d tell him to just take it since it was meant to be a gift. He leads you to the passenger seat, opening the door for you. You figured he’d probably do that with anyone, so you kept yourself from smiling like an idiot and just got yourself seated. 

Once San had settled himself on the driver’s seat he’d ask you, “Are we good to go?” 

“Yep.” you simply reply, looking straight ahead.

You were anxious, feeling a bit out of place. You didn’t have a reason to be there besides San inviting you. You never even knew about his sister before he talked to you about her. 

“Were you able to get enough sleep last night? you were in the call till three a-m. I fell asleep at twelve, and I woke up when you left the call.” you were in a zoom call with the two last night for the thesis. 

Your teacher had told you to change your topic since it overlapped with another from a different group. So with the night that followed, you were up all night with the two in a call, just searching for topics that concern the Humanities subject, and getting an outline draft started so all you’d have to do is cram everything on Sunday —your teacher had moved the deadline to Monday for your group. 

“Yeah, I feel pretty okay. I’ve had, like, three cups of coffee —and a half.” you sigh towards the end of your utterance. 

“And a half?” he questions, laughing a bit. 

A yawn suddenly escapes your mouth, but you’d shake it off, reminding your body that you’ve had more caffeine than water. “I drank half off my mom’s morning coffee earlier.” 

You felt his eyes glued on you, and you would see his stare from the corner of your eye. You look back at him instinctively, and you’d be met with a face of doubt.

“Are you sure you got some sleep?” you nod profusely at his words.

“Yes, I’m sure. I really am fine, don’t worry about me San.” but then another yawn was evoked from you. 

“You can take a nap on the way to the hospital, make yourself comfortable, if you want, I can fix the back for you so you could lay—”

“No, no need! I’m fine right here.” you give him a hearty smile, and he’d return it with a soft one. 

After the small talk, you were off to the hospital. He had informed you it was a bit further away from where you lived, but very close to his house. That was why you’d tell him a day prior to not bother picking you up, but he insisted anyway saying that he’s the one who wanted you there, so he should be the one to take you there. 

...

\\

You followed closely behind San, stepping into the Intensive Care Unit. There, you saw his sister lying with her eyes closed, barely any movement being caught by your eyes. 

“Hi Haneul, I brought a new friend with me today.” he says with a smile, as if his sister was smiling back at him. 

You glanced at San who had laid his eyes on you once he finished speaking. Now you’re quite unsure of what to say, you’ve never been in a situation such as this one before. Despite your worries, San’s hand rests on your shoulder, giving it a light squeeze to provide some assurance, he could tell you were a bit tense. 

“Her name is Sabrina. She’s really nice, and she has a cat too —he’s just as adorable as she is.” he’d be a little more quiet uttering the last few bits of his sentence, but you caught it.

You had no idea if you were successful with appearing indifferent with him calling you adorable —in real life and no longer just through messages, but San would be lying to himself if he said he didn’t see the pink tint on your cheeks. 

You hear a sudden buzz, and it came from the back pocket of San’s pants —his phone. You watched him look at its screen briefly before putting it back where he had drawn it from. “Is it okay if I leave you here with my sister for a sec? I’m just gonna go and fetch Wooyo in the lobby.” you give him a small smile, nodding before he could even finish speaking.

When San went off, you were given a chance to take a better look at San’s sister. She’s just as beautiful as he was. You could guess it just runs in the family. They share very similar features, but his sister possessed softer lines compared to him. 

“Hey sis, what’s up?” you jump a bit from where you stood, hearing the voice you gawked over one late night phone call ago, but now it sounded like how it usually does, making you sigh. “Oh, hi Sabrina.” Wooyoung turns to you and you’d see he was carrying quite a few paper bags with him. “This,” he hands you one, in your favorite color. “—is for you.”

You just wanted to take a peek inside, but he’d stop you. 

“Nah-ah, not until you show me the thing.” your eyes widened, visibly confused with what he was referring to. 

“What thing?” you ask back.

San just watched the two of you, shaking his head whilst he wore a subtle smile.

“The thing I told you I was gonna check today.” Wooyoung crosses his arms over his chest, his feet tapping on the tiled floor. “Does it ring any bells?”

Oh, it rings bells alright. You sigh heavily, closing your eyes and trying your best not to roll your eyes right at him. “You can check later, b. F. F.”

He then displays a cheeky smile. Instead of finding it annoying like you usually would —or should— you’d look down to the ground, fighting the smile that wanted to show itself on your lips. 

“And this one’s for Haneul. Everyone misses you right now…” you watched as Wooyoung continued to speak to Haneul, even at her unresponsive state. 

They were both updating her on the little happening in their lives, getting you involved in some of their stories —though they had to skip some— and urging you to tell Haneul a bit more about you. It was all sweet, and a little sad, still, all you could see was how endearing the two truly are. It was fascinating to see them like this, just talking with Haneul, throwing jokes from time to time, but it was all light-hearted fun. You didn’t expect to gain so much from a hospital visit for someone who you haven’t even talked to at all. 

Later that day, after visiting hours, your trio decided to eat out somewhere —and also ran into one of their other friends, Seonghwa. He was quite nice, but every so often, he and Wooyoung were just talking amongst themselves, especially when Wooyoung had the great idea of taking everyone to the nearby clothing store. He and Seonghwa would be “looking at some clothes” but judging on the way their mouths moved, you could tell the talk was about something else. 

All while that was happening, you stuck by San. He was picking out clothes for himself, asking for your opinion on his choices whenever he’d make one. Then as he looked over some more clothes, he’d initiate conversation. “So when would the playdate therapy be?”

You were a bit surprised by his question, thinking that the “playdate” he snuck into your messages was just a joke. “Oh, you were for real?”

“Of course I am.” he chuckled softly, the sound tickling your ears. “I want Byeol to have a best friend too. You know, like you and Wooyo.”

You chortled, almost breaking into a loud guffaw. “Sorry, I mean, yeah, we can make that happen. You know how to reach me, just text.” you end your sentence with a little tick sounding from your tongue and little finger guns pointing at him. 

He giggles, forcing you to stare on his back as he hides his grin, pretending to be preoccupied with the clothing rack. 

It was a long day of just that, and soon you were all headed home. Seonghwa went his separate way, shaking hands with you before he disappeared —he told you it was necessary. San had set himself up to take you and Wooyo home. There was a bit of bickering with who was gonna take the passenger seat, but in the end, the conflict was settled with San being completely done with the back and forths and demanding the both of you just be seated next to each other at the back. 

There, you sat in silence, paying not much mind to Wooyoung who sat next to you, —surprisingly— remaining quiet as well. San played music to fill the dead air, but it didn’t change much, and you would keep your eyes on the streets, just sightseeing as you propped your head up against the car window. You got bored with it, so you’d whip out your phone, scrolling around whatever app, like always. You were free of worries until you heard a quiet “psst!”.

You already know what you were in for. You bit the insides of your cheek, turning your head just a little and just enough for you to see Wooyoung’s smug face. 

“You have to show me.” you shake your head at him, and he’d furrow his eyebrows, tilting his head to side to question your refusal. 

“I swear I changed it. Cross my heart, hope to die” and now he was the one shaking his head. 

You’d imitate the eagerness on his face, knitting your brows as your lips formed a pout. You had expected for him to roast the living shit out of you and cook you into soup, but the look on your face would be replaced with utter confusion when he started laughing. When your eyes met, he’d only take you along with him, tittering away together. 

Your laughter was a little quieter —for San’s sake— but it was so worth a while that you didn’t even notice how close Wooyoung had moved next to you. “Okay then, if you don’t want to, can I at least see the first three letters?” he whispers, moving just a little closer so you could hear him. 

The way he asked made him sound so innocent that you chuckled, thinking about how silly it is for him to sound like that. “No!” you whisper back to him. 

His smile grew wider, and you’d be perplexed by this. Not until you realized that the tip of your nose was only an inch away from touching. 

“Okay, fine.” you utter out of sheer panic, distancing yourself from him and opening your contacts list on your phone. 

He was quite surprised with you just giving in even though he was only half joking the whole time with asking to see what you had him saved as in your contacts. You’d swiftly move your upper body to face him, preventing him from seeing your phone screen as you held it up to your face, he could only keep his eyes on the brand logo at the back of your phone. Once you’ve found a way to show him without fully revealing it —which was your other hand pressed firmly on the screen to hide the six other letters of the name you saved him as. 

“H-e… a?” he reads the three letters out loud. “Huh...”

Then the car ran into a bump, catching you off guard and causing your phone to drop on his lap. 

“Shit.” you mutter to yourself, snatching your phone away from him. 

“Cute.” to this very moment of you laying on your bed and going back through everything that happened on this day, you still couldn’t figure out what he was calling cute. Was it you? —no you’re not delusional. Or perhaps, maybe it was the fact that when you grabbed for your phone, he got to see the full nickname because you held it out with the screen right at his face for a little longer than just a few seconds. But you wouldn’t know, not until the next day that is. 

previous » next

⁀➴ @davinashifts333 @wrotebyrini @wooyoungyeo

[jupipedia]

one. awkwardness.

previous. next.

y/n knew that the first meeting between him and shoto would be a little awkward due to neither of them being familiar with the other, but he found that he greatly underestimated how awkward it would truly be as he sat across from shoto, pretending to be typing on his laptop. shoto had arrived before y/n did and was quick to formally greet him before going back to his laptop. y/n didn’t want to assume that shoto was avoiding conversation similarly to he was so he didn’t interrupt shoto’s typing in case he truly was setting up for their meeting.

“sorry if this is awkward for you. i know we don’t know each other beyond our names, but i hope that we can use this project to become friends. i assume that is the professor’s end goal, at least,” shoto broke the silence, prompting y/n to halt in his feigned typing and look up at the man.

“no! i mean— not no to the friends part but to the awkward part. no as in it’s fine and i’m definitely making this more awkward than it truly is,” y/n sputtered, embarrassed at the crack in his voice as he almost choked on his words.

“i got what you meant. no worries,” shoto gave a toothless smile before glancing back at his screen. “it says that we are expected to meet up at least three times a week including one day of the weekend. for every first meeting, we choose an emotion and that is the emotion we have to incorporate into some form of writing for the week. along with our writing, he wants a visual representation. hmm, sounds easy enough to me,” shoto explained, muttering the last part to himself.

“well, i’m not sure how much help i’ll be with the written proportion, but i am a design major, so i don’t mind doing the brunt of the visual representation. i was reading over the rubric earlier and i have a few ideas already,” y/n said, opening the draft with his ideas in writing.

“i’m so glad that you said that because i am a political literature major and i cannot draw or anything to save my life. i can however do the majority of the written portion, as long as we can come up with a general outline for what it should contain,” y/n nodded along to shoto’s words before turning his laptop to the bi-coloured boy.

“i actually have an idea that i really wanted to do for the project and wanted to run it by you. i was thinking that we could do a calendar layout, but with week numbers rather than months. i think it’ll earn us the bonus points for creativity and it would be way more enjoyable than doing the standard slide show with a company generated theme.”

“i like that. yeah, we should do that,” shoto easily agreed, having been impressed with y/n’s demo of the calendar inspired layout. “it’s really well done for it to be just a demo. it’ll look great as we continue to add to it every week.”

“yeah, thanks,” y/n responded, cringing to himself at his short response before talking again. “what days are you free during the week and which day do you want to meet during the weekend?”

“i’m free after 3 p.m. on mondays, wednesdays, and fridays and on tuesdays and thursdays, i have a free block from 12 p.m. to about 6 p.m. since i do track. i was also hoping that we could make our weekend meet up on a saturday? i usually spend sunday with my friends from highschool.”

“saturday would be best for me, too, but it would have to be a brunch thing as i usually take studio trips in the evenings. but i can do mondays and wednesdays after 4 p.m. so we could meet up before, during, or after dinner if you want.”

“sounds like a plan. i’ll add that to the document,” shoto nodded, going back to his computer without another word.

and the awkward silence was back.

y/n groaned silently as they held their head in their hand behind the computer screen.

it was difficult for y/n to sit in the silence without wanting to bring up anything that the two could possibly talk about, but he didn’t want to annoy shoto with his constant spiels and rambling. y/n could talk for hours if he was asked to, but his throat dries all the way up when he has to talk to shoto.

he asked kamya what she knew about his partner from the assignment and all she knew was that he was friends with her partner, having seen the two on campus together before. she didn’t know any club affiliations nor did she know his past relationships or better yet, his current status. it came as a shock to him as kamya usually knew everyone's business before they had the chance to tell her themselves.

“so, since our first week is probably going to be the most awkward, i was thinking we should make that this week's emotion. i mean, it’s fitting, no?” todoroki’s voice brought y/n out of his thoughts and back to the cafe table.

“yeah, i think that would be the best course of action. it’ll probably help break the tension. awk-awkward tension, that is,” y/n said, stumbling over his word after realizing the accidental implication that he potentially made.

“okay, i’ll email you with drafts for the week and you can do the same if you like, but i doubt that i’ll be able to give any artistic assistance,” shoto joked, earning a slight giggle from the dark skinned male across from him.

“no worries, i’ll still send you updates in case picasso’s ghost whispers anything in your ear,” y/n joked back, packing up his things with the intention of leaving soon.

“i’ll see you monday at 5 for dinner and planning,” shoto said, watching as the boy stood from his seat.

“monday at 5. i’ll be there. wherever there is. see you.”

y/n walked away from the table after receiving a wave from shoto. y/n didn’t make it more than 10 steps away from the cafe before he loudly exhaled and held his hand to his chest.

fuck, he’s even prettier when he smiles.

the first meeting didn’t change anything between the two outside of meeting times. y/n even began to make the extra effort to not see shoto before they met for the second time as he allowed himself to reflect and cringe at his departing joke, deeming himself too nervous to calmly interact with him on a daily basis.

the second meeting definitely went better than the first as there was a lot more material to cover with their ideas. y/n’s forced his eyes to stay on his ipad rather than letting them trail over to the boy across from him. he spent most of the meeting working on a general template that could be edited to fit each week of their project, only looking up from it to show shoto his work or to listening to whatever comment todoroki made on his own work.

“you did a really nice job with the written portion. there are no typos or wordy sentences and i’ve never been so glad to have someone as a partner. i usually feel bad about being so unhelpful with the written parts but i know that i would not have been any help to you,” y/n said as he read the text that todoroki provided for their project during their final weekly meeting.

y/n wasn’t just exaggerating for the sake of fawning over his crush, he truly admired the word choice of the written portion. he wasn’t expecting something so polished and eloquent to be produced for a mere draft that would be updated later.

“it’s still not perfect, but i’m glad you are impressed with my contribution. and it’s only fair that we have a well-written entry to match your artwork. i mean, the draft was good, but this is coming along beautifully,” shoto zoomed in on parts of the design y/n made.

“i’m planning to make it interactive so i’ll at least contribute something other than a few drawings. i hope that’s okay with you,” y/n turned his attention back to his ipad as his face grew warm from the praise.

“perfect. i am all for it.”

the two parted ways after finishing their final draft, todoroki excusing himself to meet up with his friends and y/n planning to go to kamya’s dorm to rant about whatever was on his mind.

so, shoto todoroki.

“...mya, i’m telling you, he’s so fucking attractive without even trying. and he’s naturally charming. he gives the nicest feedback which feeds my ego in the best ways. i’m losing my mind,” y/n ranted, pushing his head into the throw pillow on kamya’s bed.

“you are one of the most delusional people i know. he’s being nice because you are good at art. not because he’s falling for you, stupid. get a grip,” kamya said, not sparing the boy a glance as she continued to type on her laptop.

y/n stared at kamya for a few seconds before speaking. “i hope you fail your econ exam.”

“because i won’t feed into your delusions?!” kamya laughed at her friend as he started to hit her with the pillow in his hands. “my bad, you right. he’s madly in love with you and wants you so bad.”

“now was that so hard to say?”

© jupipedia—do not repost, plagiarized, or falsely claim my work. likes, comments, and reblogs are welcome!

[honeybadgercomeback]

Hello! Wishing you all the best! I was the anon that sent in the ask back on May 3 about the Lance/Popstar and Nando. I know and understand that you’re busy and have other commitments (I absolutely love Danny and Em, that’s how I found you to submit the og request) but I was just wondering if you had any idea about a time frame? I know I sent in an ask about 3ish months ago asking the same question (sorry to be a bother) but I’m not sure if tumblr ate it or if I just missed a reply. If you don’t mind just letting me know how you’re feeling about it, and no hard feelings if this is now something that you don’t have the time or interest in. Thanks again!

I’ve had this in my drafts for like a week trying to work out how to answer it and I’m just going to be super blunt.

I have around 1900 words written in a draft on my laptop. I really like them! But the problem with this kind of request is that the only way I can write it is switching POVs and messing around that way, and I can’t make it work.

I’ve tried different plots, different moments, different everything. And it all comes down to the way I write x reader. I don’t use y/n, I don’t use anything like that. I try not to use she and her in most cases because wherever possible I write it as gender neutral. But for this I need at least two segments to be Lance’s POV and that’s where it falls apart.

I’m really sorry. I love this idea and I’ve tried so hard to make it work - harder than I have on any fic for any fandom. But it won’t come. I’ve thrown the first 800-ish words that I’ve edited under the cut so you can have them. Everything after this is a bit of a mess and I’m not comfortable with it being public, but this I am.

“You’ve been invited to the Formula One race in Miami on Sunday, do you want to go? It’s Aston Martin so those rumours might keep going but it’s been good publicity.” You stopped checking your lipstick at your publicists words, turning your head slowly. The rumours had been hilarious at the start, but were turning terrible and cruel. You were apparently dating Fernando Alonso, which just made you laugh. He was cute but older than you and not your type. You were, however, a racing fan and the chance to actually attend a race was too good to pass up.

“Yeah, I do. It’ll be fun. Is it just Sunday?”

“They offered the full weekend if you wanted, but if your schedule’s too full you can just do the race.”

“The full weekend. Tell them I don’t need a chaperone or someone to show me around, just let me know what I can and can’t do.” A rare weekend off from shows meant that you should probably spend it at home resting after the Met Gala but this would be a lot more fun.

Friday morning you wore an Aston Martin hat that they’d sent across along with your paddock pass. You were excited for the practices, but even more to get to see the cars in real life. 2016 had been a long time ago when you played the Austin Grand Prix.

People tended to ignore you as you went in which was a relief, security flanking you but staying discrete. A couple of fans recognised you but it was a lot more lowkey than you’d expected. Low-key wasn’t something your life involved anymore, and you actually were able to relax as you wandered in the Miami humidity.

“Are you following me or something?” The voice made you turn and smile, Daniel Ricciardo holding out a hand. You’d half jumped him on the red carpet on Monday to introduce yourself as a fan, something you were mildly embarrassed about now you’d seen the gifs. But he grinned and reached for a hug that you returned.

“What can I say, it’s how you get the boy, right?” You winked and continued. “Aston Martin invited me as a guest. It’s my second time at a race.”

“So you and Nando?”

“Are not a thing. The internet’s the Wild West. Speaking of, I should probably go over and introduce myself.”

“Here, take my number.” He held out his hand for your phone and you gave it over, watching as he tapped in his number for you. “If you’ve a spare hour and I’m not doing media let me know. It’d be nice to chat.”

He turned to the navy Red Bull building while you went to Aston Martin. There was a green shirted crowd at the front, but someone immediately came over to introduce herself.

“Hey, I’m Pamela from Guest Relations. Welcome to the chaos! It’s so nice to meet you. We haven’t publicised you’re here and if you don’t want it to be public we’re completely fine with keeping it private. We just thought you might want to see a race with all the media buzz, that’s all.” You put your guard down around her and gave an actual smile.

“Thanks. I don’t mind little bits or getting caught on camera but I’d rather not have anything huge? I don’t want to be in the way.”

“You won’t be, don’t worry. Lance and Fernando are just finished a briefing, do you want to meet them?”

“Please, yeah. It’d be great.”

You were led past the main hospitality and into some offices where four men were sitting chatting. Pamela knocked on the door and introduced you before stepping back slightly for you to enter. An awkward wave was all you could muster but the slight tension was quickly resolved by the bearded man.

“Lawrence Stroll, it’s good to meet you! This is Flavio, Fernando’s manager. And our drivers, Lance and Fernando who I’m sure you’ve been asked enough questions about recently.”

“Just a few. It’s lovely to meet you all.” You shook hands and smiled at them, taking in Lance in particular. You knew he was handsome, but he was better looking in person. His hair was reacting the same way yours did to the Florida humidity to make you smile.

“How’re your wrists doing? Are they fully healed?” You asked Lance, ignoring the slight look of surprise on his face.

“Mostly, yeah. I don’t need bandages or supports anymore but there’s a lot of icing them after driving. Thanks for asking. What about your hand, I saw you hurt it during a show?”

It was your turn to be surprised, showing the healing pink skin on the palm of your hand to him. “Getting there. I didn’t need stitches at least but I’ll end up with a scar I think.”

[freeuselandonorris]

19 and 21 for the writer asks?

thank you for asking anonnie!!

19. Give us a small teaser from one of your WIPs.

from chapter 8 of that one from work can come over on monday night, which will be posted soon!

“Living room?” Oscar asks, trying not to sound too awkward about it. “Or, um, bedroom?”

Lando laughs, one of his sudden high-pitched squawks. “I don’t mind fucking on the couch.”

“I meant do you want to watch telly or have dinner first,” Oscar says, exasperated and hideously, desperately fond.

He’s nearly jerked right off his feet as Lando yanks his hand without warning. He takes a stumbling step, their chests almost colliding, and makes a muffled sound of surprise as Lando kisses him again. He’s pushed right up against Oscar, straining in a way that makes Oscar wonder if he’s going to jump right into his arms. It’s not a prospect Oscar finds unappealing, although he’s not entirely sure he’d be able to keep them both upright.

“No, Oscar,” Lando says against his mouth, nipping his top lip sharply. “I don’t want to watch telly, you nutter.”

21. Have you ever deleted an entire scene after spending hours laboring over it? If so, why?

oh god yeah. loads. quite often i’ll work a scene into an early draft which feels important for connecting two parts of the narrative at the time, but then when i come to edit, i’ll realise it was a) restating something in another scene, b) pulling the narrative in a direction it doesn’t want to go in or c) completely unnecessary writing in circles (i do this a lot when i’m feeling blocked with a scene and it’s a useful way of writing ‘towards’ the direction i want to go in).

i can’t think of loads of specific examples, but i scrapped and rewrote the ending of all the blood runs hot before it’s cold about three times. there was also a muchhhh longer scene at the beginning of chapter 6 of ‘monday’ which explored oscar feeling jealous of lando and daniel hanging out (and specifically lando’s willingness to post photos with dan and not with oscar) which i scrapped partly because i felt i was planting a narrative red herring about past dan/lando that i didn’t actually want in there, and also because it felt too similar to a plot line in @strawberry-daiquiris’ opus jump right in, a fic that lives so rent free in my brain that i’ve already unconsciously plagiarised it a few times (lands!!) (sorryyyy) 🥲

fan fic writer asks!

[ageless-aislynn]

Darn it, I ran out of time to post my WIP tonight and I won’t have time tomorrow but... Mark your calendars, frens: “Cupid’s Kiss” (Eobard/Caitlin, The Flash) chapters 3 and the epilogue in 4, coming to a screen near you on Monday, Feb 27, 2023.

Barry doesn’t look like he believes me. Well, Barry... I can’t blame you for that, lol. But I’ve legit got the draft of Chapter 3 up into AO3 at long last, which is my next-to-last step in posting it. This is where I try to catch typos, wrong words, etc. because sometimes seeing it as it’s going to look on AO3 helps those things to pop out. That’s a step we haven’t gotten to before now, so that’s hopeful at least!

This one has dragged on for so long, there might not be anybody left to read it. But that’s okay. I just want to know that I didn’t give up, even when I wanted to. Even when it hurt. I want to be able to look back and know that made it across the finish line.

“The Price” (Caitlin/Hunter, The Flash) has its first chapter very close to being done, and I’m hoping it will be the next to post. I also intend to finish “Guardian Angel” (Caitlin/Eobard, The Flash) in another 1 or 2 chapters or so.

“15 Minutes” (John/Reader, Halo) has some major stuff coming up, so I’m planning on sticking to it once it gets going again. “Recreation” (Kai/maleReader, Halo) will continue to weave in and out of “15 Minutes” as well, though will probably be pulling away a bit so that we’re not continually just being a third-party p.o.v. on something going on with John and his reader. 😉 Lastly, the Choose Your Own Spartan Adventure fic for Noble Team (Noble Team/Reader, Halo: Reach) is still in progress. Which isn’t probably a shock to anybody who’s noticed all of my Reach love as of late. I’m also going to do another GIFset or two for my Noble Team bbs because I love them so much.

I hope there will be somebody out there who’s interested in something I have coming up 🤞😣🤞 but, truthfully, I just want to get these things done. Once completed, I’ll evaluate where I’m going to go from there. 🤷‍♀️

Thanks for reading this all, if you did. Thanks especially to those who liked or replied to my previous posts about all of this, even if the fics I’m talking about aren’t in your fandom and aren’t something you’ll read. Just having some encouragement... It’s meant a lot. I’ve been struggling a ridiculous amount over all of this and honestly just seeing a simple like helps me to feel like I’m not out here all alone, in pain for nothing at all. Even if I actually am. 🤷‍♀️

Love you, frens. I hope you’re having a good weekend. 🤗

[tkwritesdumbassassins]

Tagged by @outtoshatter

I haven't been writing much due to work and now being very sick but have some of this for Messy Draft Monday:

She barely took two steps into the room, the door swishing behind her before a voice called out, “You do know the gala is downstairs, right?”

Tristan froze, head whipping around just as a lamp turned on, illuminating a man. He was about her age, give or take a few years with tousled dark hair and olive skin. Perhaps a trick of the light, but the amused eyes that peered at her appeared a golden amber color. She noted he too wore fancy, well-made garments, but he looked well… expensive. A fellow party-goer then waiting for a willing partner?

“Unless you’re looking for the refresher, then that’s three doors down in the next hallway, but I’m afraid it’s currently non-operational, ” the man continued with a roll of his eyes. “I’ve asked them to fix the damned thing, but alas. Here we are.”

He leaned back in the chair, casually slinging one leg over the other as he cupped his cheek. “Forgive me, but I don’t believe I’ve ever seen you before. Is this your first time attending one of these events?”

“Yes, it is.” Despite the beat of her heart thumping in her ears and the fear closing around her neck, Tristan straightened, crossing her hands over one and another. She repeated Safi’s advice in her head as she maintained eye contact. You are above them. You are above them— She belonged here. Showing anything else meant weakness.

[stageplayhero]

Harper’s desk looks the same.

There shouldn’t be any reason why it would look different — they were meant to come back to work on Monday after the planned getaway on the weekend. In technicality, they had. The being that bore Harper’s face, however, was not them. The staff wasn’t any the wiser. The Mayor had been acting strangely, but they had experienced an emotional event over the weekend. It was to be expected. They were allowed privacy and quiet.

It allowed time for Harper Mark to take in the office.

Their desk is well kept chaos. It’s tidy, not to be unexpected of a Mayor, but it isn’t empty. Framed photos, a desk lamp, pads of paper, a pen cup filled with pencils and pens of varying functionality, and a few trinkets scattered here and there. A protective, good luck charm from Celine. Old notes from the Attorney, still stuck in a pile.

Photographs sit propped on one corner of their desk. A group photograph from an event the group had gone to. A military portrait from William’s time in service. Harper and the Attorney celebrating after they’d graduated.

Harper and Mark, posed together, smiling brightly.

The last photo has been tilted to the side. It’s nicer, as though sunlight and time have not had as much chance to fade the colours. It was put away into their desk drawer after they left the Manor. Yet … it is still there. They set it back up. They wanted to see him again.

The wound in their torso and their stilled heart are testament to that hope, aren’t they, Mark ?

A paper was crumpled up. A draft of a letter. It had been tossed into the wastebasket, but pulled out for fear of being found. From there, it went into a lower drawer of their desk. They planned to deal with it when they got back, to face the feelings once they’d faced the weekend.

Mark ; It’s good to hear from y I didn’t think you would ever Do you know how long I waited ? I’m sorry, if I’ve missed you. Your invitation was a surprise. I still lo I’ll see you then.

They’d never gotten past the first paragraph. Words were too difficult. It seems they’ll never have the chance to find those words. // @rabbitholewritten angst for you, you signed up for this /lh ( that was a lot longer than anticipated oh goodness )

Mark knows without a doubt that he's stepped into a time capsule. The office is frozen in a single moment, one from before the game was set in motion, one from before its owner died.

It's amazing how much can change in a weekend, isn't it, Harper?

When was the last time he visited their office? He had thought about it. He'd thought about calling them. It never let-

Well, now. There's no use dwelling on the past. Not when he has a whole new future ahead of him. Mark advances with a critical eye, and ignores any sense of wrongness that passes over him when he crosses the threshold.

There's familiarity here. A coziness, even, because it's their space, but he won't fall prey to that. Not again. Anyone watching him sort through the items on the desk could have easily taken his expression for grief, an understandable reaction to reminders of their friends. Their sister.

And maybe it is. No, of course it isn't.

It isn't it isn't it isn't it isn't it

Mark walks around to the other side of the desk, and twists the photograph towards him. It's a casual gesture done by someone who doesn't realize it will cause the dam to leak.

They kept it. They kept a photo of the two of them, and put it back up, right here, right on their desk. Why? Why bother? They had a falling out. They left. They had no reason to…

He was walking down the stairs, delivering his speech with all the grandness that was deserved for such an occasion, and the spotlight was on him. Then he looked at them for the first time in what felt like an eternity. The spotlight shifted to them, illuminated every argument, every accusation he'd thrown their way, and every sweet moment, too.

What he wouldn't have given to know what they were thinking.

His hand tightens around the photo, and the other pulls the lower drawer of their desk out. He's moving so quickly to get the item put away that he almost doesn't notice the note, crumpled and out of place.

The smiling images of Harper and Mark are allowed to sit back on the desk as he smooths out the creases of the paper.

Reading it. Reading it over again. Brushing a thumb along the words. Sitting back in their seat with a hand pressed to his mouth, and while the sob doesn't come, he can feel the ghost of it.

Liar. Liar! You're still lying to me!

It's too genuine for that. It's them, after all.

His hands are shaking. Hands that had written those words, that had been held, and kissed, and loved.

And his chest hurts. It must be the leftover aches from this body's wounds, because the alternative is too terrifying.

Something shadowy and poisonous slices through those emotions, leaving nothing but a dull pain. Not a moment too soon, either! He'd almost begun to regret.

Both the photograph and the note are placed in the drawer. They won't cause further harm, there. He studies his hand, turning it from palm to back. One thing is certain: he will have to make adjustments. Slowly, of course, as to not draw attention. Start with a haircut.

Anything to not be reminded of them.

[lqfiles]

day 2874838 without checking lqfiles page… im losing the will to live…

jokes aside, its kind of sad that i cant send as many messages as i want to :( i’ll try to be more of a consistent anon but school here in Chile is ass, i have a seminar (i think thats how u say it in english) about circular economy and the impact of humans on natural resources and allat + chemistry test + english presentation + spanish essay + biology test this week. now im not even joking when i aay that sometimes i could js sitting in class and suddenly start thinking like hmmm i wonder if lqfiles is still on that break you spoke about, it sounds weird but trust me it isnt my intention 😪

now are u still on that break? i really hope u are and in case u aren’t, u must be doing a great job so far. sending prayers and love, hoping that safety surrounds you and danger refrains from making its way towards you and your loved ones ! <3

i know its disappointing… but i’ve only been able to read two chapters of pay the price 😞😞 IM REALLY SORRY but i still liked those two! sometimes i will read someone texting “istg” and instantly think of score that goal and it immediately makes me open your page and boom you’ve published six more chapters 🤣🤣🙏🏻 not funny, did not laugh, i’m aching to read them but if i open tumblr i will NOT close it and i can’t risk my grades since i really need the NEM rn (notas enseñanza media = high school grades i think) which basically determines whether i will get to the university i want or not based off the grades i’m currently getting 😟

HOWEVER i already had the two weeks filled w exams that i needed for this trimester so i can finally take a break !! i’ll make sure to read ptp and send as many messages as i can ! :D

p.d: whenever i get notis from your page i still get as happy as the first time i got them 🫶🏻🫶🏻 sending lots of love your way

- 🐣 anon, i almost forgot to put it lolz

IM TEARING UP OMG I MISSED SEEING YOU IB MY INBOX 😭😭😭😭 you’re still as cute as ever omg..

please don’t feel bad for not being active !!! i always encourage all of you to put your own personal life and everything else before my blog because i don’t want me or my work to be the thing holding you back from your full focus 😣 it seems like you’re in a stressful position tho :(( please take care and take enough breaks !!!! that sounds like a boring topic tbh lmao but i’m sure you’ll do well in all of those, i’ll be personally cheering you on i swear!! YOU’LL ACE THIS WEEKS TESTS AND THE UPCOMING ONES TOO‼️🔥

i truly don’t find it weird i find it sooo cute honestly like i never imagined ppl would think about me and my blog throughout their day other than when i post but to answer your question, i’m not </3 i did have the day off on monday tho so that was nice because that meant i had 4 days off in total (the weekend + monday and tuesday) so that made me happy :D you’re always so sweet i genuinely hope nothing but good fortune for you too i will personally pray for it :( <3

AGAIN, DONT FEEL BAD LMAOO put your own personal life first because that’s something i would do too, i’m currently not writing much either lol all these are chaps i managed to make in like a few days and had on my drafts lolll. DONT EGEN THINK OF PUTTING THIS FIRST WHEN THESE GRADES MATTER SO MUCH PLS.. i’d feel so guilty if you didn’t pass

THE IMPACT stg had, the way i always think of stg too whenever i type istg 😭😭😭😭 i’m happy you liked the two chaps tho and i hope that you’ll like the rest too when you have time :) i’m serious when i tell you i was literally thinking about you today or yesterday like i was thinking about your previous messages and was like “i hope they’re doing well..” i’m glad to see you again and and to know you still have my notifs on :) take care my love again i hope you sleep peacefully and i hope you eat well and gozar of good health!!!

[exopelagic]

ohhhh my supervisor is so sick of me

[detectivestucks]

A Jealous Hokage XI

18+ Content, Minors do NOT interact

Pairing: Kakashi x F!Reader x Obito

Summery: You officially submit your request to rejoin the field and face Kakashi's reaction as he comes to grips with the extent to which you have been deceiving him.

Warnings: Combat Violence, CNC Role Play, Oral, Tit Slapping, Sex Toy Usage, Unprotected Penetration.

Word Count: 5.9k

Part 10 New here? Check out Part 1

Your training continued for the next three weeks with Obito before work and Ino-Shika-Cho in the afternoons. Thanks to them you made remarkable progress. Just this past Tuesday Ino admitted that she was going full force and you were able to take her while fending off Shikamaru and Choji.

“I think it might be time to promote you to Jonin, Y/N”

These words filled you with pride. Finally a sense of accomplishment. 

The delicate dance around Kakashi was emotionally draining but now the deceit was at an end. You hated keeping him in the dark about something that was so important to you and you hated not being able to share with him your excitement about your training and your progress. But all it took was a glare from one of his many admirers or a crass joke from a colleague and the ability to keep you yap shut was reinforced with ease.

The day finally came. You typed up your request on Wednesday with a plan to formally submit the request on Thursday and give him Friday to assign you. That way on Monday you could start fresh with your new team. 

You must have written fifteen drafts. Between the excitement of the upcoming change and the nerves of facing Kakashi, you found yourself struggling to string the words together to properly express how this change is beneficial to you and the Leaf. You, a world renowned linguist, unable to come up with the right words. You plant your face into your hands while sitting at your desk. 

Why is this so hard? Who cares if Kakashi breaks up with me over this? Doesn’t that just help?

You weren’t cut out to date a celebrity. It was too hard. Maybe the two of you weren’t meant to be and this would help you cut the cord. But the thought of looking upon his gorgeous face while you do it…

****************************************************

You take a long deep breath outside of Kakashi’s door. You try to calm your shaking hands. The paper rattling in front of your chest would not be a convincing sight if the Hokage is considering sending you out into battle. 

Calm down, you got this. 

You knock on his door.

“Come in!”

You step inside and open your mouth to speak but seeing the look on his face silenced you. It was as if your vocal cords disappeared. You closed your mouth much to his curiosity and stride forwards towards his desk.

“Angel, what brings you by?” 

The initial excitement of seeing his favorite person come to his office was quickly stolen away by your strange demeanor. In complete silence you handed in your request. 

“What is this?” He asked. His eyes panned down. You watched as his gaze scanned across the paper. His expression became severe as he read its contents. 

“No.” He looked up at you. “No, I’m not accepting this request.”

“No? What do you mean no?!”

“You’re not going back out in the field; you’re not leaving headquarters!” He started to raise his voice. It was an insult to him. Surely you would have at least run it by him first. How could you be so impulsive and reckless? You were more intelligent than this. 

You stared back at him in stunned silence.

“You’re not giving up on your career cause of me. All this is just a temporary set back.” his voice continues to rise, “You’re not a quitter! I know you!”

Finding your voice you shout back at him, “I’m no longer effective at my job, Kahsi!”

“And I’m saying NO! You’re the best linguist we’ve got. We need you HERE!” He boomed, desperation thick in his voice, “I need you here!”

“Right now this is the best way I can serve my village!” You stand your ground but you feel on the brink of tears. The two of you had never raised your voices at each other before. Yet here you were engaged in a shouting match in his office. 

“You and I both know you’re no longer in shape to be out in the field.”

“You really think I’d be so ill prepared?! I’ve been training!” you say defiantly. Sure you had been hiding your intentions but he should know you better than that after being together for nearly a year.

“You’ve been training? When did you make this decision?!” You could not match the deep thunder of his voice but your words could unleash an equal amount of rage.

“I made it the week I lost my promotion cause of you!”

The sentence cut through him like a knife. Sobriety laced through his next question,

“And why did you wait to tell me till now?” 

“Cause you’re not talking me out of it.”

You see his mind start to put together all your strange behavior from the past 6 weeks. His rage seeping back to the surface, he rounds the desk to grab your wrist. He lifts your arm and pulls up your sleeve to reveal bruises in various states of healing. Hand still grasping your wrist, he shouts once more.

“So this is what you’ve been doing! Is this what you’ve been hiding from me?!”

He throws down your wrist before bringing his hand up to his mouth. His facial expression is one of a broken man. Hurt at the realization that you depended on fellow shinobi instead of coming to him. Anguish that you relied on others to deceive him. Brokenness at the lengths you went to to get away from him.

“And what if something happens to you?” his vocal cords cracked.

You drop your head and mutter to the floor, “Then something happens to me…” 

“no…” he whispers. “Not while I’m Hokage.” 

Not wanting to hear another word, you turn to leave. He creates a shadow clone to block your exit. 

Furious with him, you turn around and attack the clone. With precision taijutsu skills, refined by Obito’s hands, you block every attack the clone makes with ease. You surprised even yourself but you were too angry to care much. His clone was about to weave hands signs when you reached in and slipped your fingers between the clone’s to weave your own. A trick you learned from Obito. You threw mind confusion jutsu at the clone who staggered backwards gripping his head leaving him open. You channeled all your chakra into your fist and punched into the clone’s heart with your entire might causing it to poof out of existence. Kakashi was taken aback.

“THERE! Did I pass your little test?!”

“This changes nothing.” he spat with an energy reminiscent of his Anbu days. 

“If that’s the case then I’m leaving. Expect my resignation in the morning!”

“Fine!”

“Fine!”

You turn around and storm out of his office. Your face, a wall of red. Kakashi slams his office door and punches a hole in the wall, feeling tears well in his eyes. 

He knows he messed up. He knows he cost you your dream job. He also knows if he had just kept quiet you would have gone public about your relationship last week. If he kept his hands to himself he would’ve taken you out on your first real date tomorrow. Instead of that wonderful reality, you ambush him with a request to get yourself killed. It broke him. This entire situation completely destroyed him and he only had himself to blame. 

He sinks to the ground clutching his chest, mind a swirling mess of emotion.

****************************************************

“So I take it didn’t go well with Kakashi yesterday.”

You punch into Obito’s substitution log with so much force it splinters into mulch. “Nope!”

He smiles at you with pride. You were so strong now. If he were a normal shinobi, he might even be afraid of you. 

“I’ll talk to him. See where his mind is at.”

“I can tell you where it’s at. He wants to keep me here forever, suffering the consequences of being the girl who fucked the Hokage.”

You threw all your emotion into your strikes as you pushed the chakra towards your feet and hands, alternating which limbs you sent towards Obito’s bulking form.

Obito grabs a hold of the very wrist that Kakashi grabbed the day before and twists it behind your back while holding a kunai up to your neck. He grumbles in your ear.

“One, check your attitude. Two, stop acting like you’ve been defeated. He could always change his mind.”

You catch yourself as your breathing falters from the sensation of his breath against your ear.

“Trust me, he’s not gonna change his mind.”

Obito tightens his hold on your wrist causing you to struggle.

“I said check your attitude.”

You almost swoon and lay your head back to rest against his chest. Between your anger, the lack of sex, and the constant endorphins from working out, your endocrine system had you reeling from any small stimulation. 

You pull yourself together and swallow hard. “Yes, sensei.”

“Good. Now go shower. I’ll head to our Hokage’s office.”

****************************************************

Obito strides into Kakashi’s office without so much as a knock on the door. It was one of his more annoying habits. Always acting like he belonged in every room.

Kakashi’s head was buried in his hands and he didn’t feel he had the patience to deal with whatever nonsense his friend was up to. 

“Good Morning Lord Sixth.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Ah, I was going to ask how you were doing but I see you’re already in a testy mood.”

Kakashi breathes deep. “What do you want?”

“I was curious about the mission load.”

“Oh.” Kakashi was a little caught off guard at the normalcy of his request. “It’s okay. We’re slowing down right now. It’ll probably pick back up next month. There’s always more trouble the warmer the weather gets.”

“You doing okay? You seem on edge.”

“Y/N wants to be on active duty again.”

Obito feigns surprise. “How come?”

Kakashi can barely relay the answer. “Cause of me.”

“With all due respect. If she’s rejoining the field, I’d like to request her for my team.”

Kakashi quirks an angry brow at him.

“What? She’s extremely smart, she’s gotten strong, and I’ll keep her safe. You know out of every captain you have, I would protect her with my life. You can trust that I would make sure she comes home after every mission.”

“And how do you know she’s gotten strong?” Kakashi grew with suspicion.

Trying to cover his blunder he says easily “Have you noticed how she’s been filling out her pants recently? You don’t get legs like that from sitting at a desk all day.”

Kakashi’s vision went red with rage. How dare he be brazen enough to talk about you like that in front of him. “Watch your mouth.” he seethed 

Obito knew Kakashi figured it out. “I’m sorry Lord Sixth” he said genuinely. 

But he was not sorry for what he said, he was sorry for helping you deceive him. Obito left the room without further remark to go about his day. He had to check on his team and run training drills with them even though he was pretty worn out from his morning with you already.

****************************************************

Normally you would be training with your cousin and her friends on a Saturday morning but since they had other responsibilities to attend to and the plan was for you to be training with your new team by now, Obito joined you at the training grounds insisting that you don’t give up on your goal yet. 

Seeing your determination wane, Obito fights you with more vigor than usual. 

“I see you’ve been holding back.”

“Of course I’ve been holdin back. If I didn’t I’d kill you.”

“And how am I supposed to be prepared for battle if you’ve been holding back?”

“Cause there are only three other shinobi on my level.”

“So frickin conceded.”

He smirked at you, making you channel extra chakra into your fist. He knew he was in too close of range to dodge you so he let you fall through him. 

“Hmm, knew you couldn’t dodge me huh?”

“Don’t go getting cocky now. That’s how you get injured.”

“Oh, it is, is it?”

You engage in a series of strong hand to hand blows aiming for his face and chest to distract him from the sweep of your leg as you bring him to the ground, hands catching his wrists on your decent so that he was pinned below you. You huff inches from his face tired from your efforts.

He had a look of shock and pride on his face before a vicious grin replaced it. 

“Not so fast, Princess.”

He rolled you onto your back, so now he straddled you with your wrists pinned above your head. Your breathing was labored beneath him as you stared into his powerful eyes.

“I knew it.”

The both of you turned your heads towards the voice just in time to see Kakashi lunge at Obito who had you pinned in such a compromising position. 

Obito quickly let you go to catch Kakashi’s fists in his hands. Kakashi back flipped over Obito landing behind him.

“How dare you!”

“How dare I? How dare I, what? Make her strong? Ensure she can handle herself? Keep her safe?”

Obito flew towards Kakashi, swinging blows towards each other that sliced through the air so quickly a whistle followed each movement. They blocked each other with heavy thuds. It was almost as if you could hear them pelt each other with boulders.

“Stop!” you scream but they ignore you.

“You have no right!”

“I have every right to keep her safe!”

“Keeping her safe is my job!”

Kakashi’s chidori sings once more in his hand. You leap in front of Obito. “STOP!”

Kakashi comes to a halt but Obito steps through you. Standing in front of you before leaning down ready to re engage in battle. 

“NO! Both of you stop!”

You pull at Obito’s arm who swats at you like you’re no more than a mosquito. You run towards Kakashi, eyes pleading for him to calm down. 

“Y/N, this is between me and him.” he growls

“No it’s not! It’s between us!” 

You throw your arms around him in a sedating embrace. The hatred in his eyes vanishes as he lowers his hands and wraps them around you. 

“Please stop.”

“I’m sorry, Y/N”

Obito walks away unable to stomach the scene before him. It hurt to see the effect you had on Kakashi. To know how losing you would hurt his friend but also to see exactly what he was missing out on.

“I understand why you didn’t come to me, as much as it hurts me, but why him?” He was shaking with hurt.

“Cause he offered his help. Cause he’s more talented than my cousin. Cause I’d be a moron to turn down the chance to be taught by a legendary shinobi. It was the logical thing to do.”

“And those are the only reasons?”

“Kashi, you want to dissect my relationship with Obito but you can’t take a moment to recognize my relationship with the rest of the village?”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“How many girls have you seen glare daggers into me when we are together?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Exactly! I told you I was afraid of becoming nothing more than your girlfriend and for the past six weeks that is exactly what has happened. All your fangirls hunting me down, all the men who have stopped respecting me. My thoughts and opinions mean nothing anymore. I am no longer my own person, I’m just your girlfriend and it’s suffocating.”

“Why didn’t you tell me this before?”

“Cause I shouldn’t have had to! You should’ve noticed!”

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too. I didn’t like sneaking behind your back. I really didn’t, but I also didn’t want to fight with you about doing this.”

Kakashi buried his face into the crook of your neck and inhaled deeply. Only you could drive him so wild but only you could calm him down so easily. He tightened the grip of his hug. For the first time in weeks he felt he finally understood you. 

He inhales one more time before lifting his head to kiss your forehead. “I’ll let you go wash up. May I see you tonight?”

You pull your head back to see his face better, “Of course. My place?”

“It’s a date.”

Kakashi was going to make sure you forgot all about Obito tonight. Seeing you panting under him haunted his mind. You were his and after all the time you had spent avoiding him, he would make sure you remembered exactly who you were supposed to be panting for.

****************************************************

You go your separate ways for the bulk of the day, running errands and doing chores well into the evening. Around supper time you hear a knock at your door and open it to find a tall Anbu soldier outside your home. He wore a sword strapped to his back, and had a red and white mask with cat ears and two red stripes on each cheek centered on his face.

Your jaw dropped as Kakashi rushed in and restrained your arms behind your back. He spun you around and held you hostage in his arms as you struggled in his firm grasp. 

“Now Angel, we can do this the easy way or the hard way. Which is it gonna be?”

You wrangle under his grip and a gratified hum rings in your ear, “The hard way it is.”

Kakashi drags you over to your bedroom playing the role of a cold Anbu agent and you can’t help but soak your underwear in excitement. He shoves your front up against your bedroom wall and pulls rope out of his tactical pouch. Pinning you in place with the wall, he ties your hands behind your back. He was so skilled in his transition that you wondered how many enemies he had restrained. Your mind whirls with admiration at his skill that is oh-so handy in this moment. 

When the knot is secure, he slips a hand around your throat and with the other he fists your hair. He whispers dangerously into your ear, 

“I know you stole one of the sacred scrolls from the Leaf. You are going to tell me where it is and exactly how you took it.”

“Never” you play along. 

“Wrong Answer”

He tosses his mask on the bed and spins you around, shoving your back into the same spot your face just was. He kisses you feverishly, bullying his tongue into your mouth, swirling it around with your mixed spit. You moan into him fully submitting to him and his role play. He presses his face into you so forcefully that the back of your head is firmly planted against the wall. You wouldn’t be able to pull away from the kiss even if you wanted to. 

He slipped his hands under your shirt and slid up so that both of his hands were cupping your breasts. You rubbed your legs together in response, along with a little whine that made him pull back, leaving a thick trail of spittle dangling between your lips. 

“Now, will you cooperate?”

You lock eyes with him and shake your head ‘no’ and his fingers move to pinch your nipples. Your mouth opens in pain and he goes back to attacking your lips. Pushing himself against you, grinding his pelvis on your leg.

He pulls back again and plants a kiss on your jaw, “Then I will have to find other means of extracting the information from you.”

Oh gods yes.

Your eyes sparked with excitement and he smiled smugly. He pulled down your sweats and discarded them near your closet. He swatted at your inner thighs signaling for you to spread your legs. Kneeling down before you, he brought his tongue up to your folds making you whimper. He gave you a few light licks while you looked down on him with anticipation.

“I can either treat you kindly or I can be mean. It all depends on the intel you give me.”

He goes back in, pointing his tongue so that it slipped between your lips and up into your heat. He licked forwards towards your clit and pulled away to bark at you before diving back in. “Talk.”

Your eyes close as you pant, “No.”

He latches onto your clit sucking hard. 

Your eyes scrunch up, “Ngh, I’d never betray my village.”

He pulls back to land a blow on your sex causing you to flinch, before he goes back in. Your hips tilt up and your knees bend making it easier for him to reach all the places you want him. He slurps up your arousal as it drips down onto his face and dribbles down his chin.

“It’s pointless, I won’t talk.” you say breathlessly. 

It took so much effort to stay standing as his mouth did heavenly things to you. The more you squirmed over his mouth the more he teethed on your precious clitorus. When he did, it elicited high pitched squeals from your throat that slipped away in the lustful night air.

With another slap to your sex Kakashi stood back up to his full height looming over you. Silently he lifted your shirt over your head and let it gather behind your neck exposing your perky chest to the passions of the night. 

With one hand he supported the bottom of your breast before slapping his palm down on it with the other. A yelp echoed around the room. 

“Hmm, it seems you have no objection to making noise, just to talking. Is that right?”

You spit in his face.

“Now that wasn’t very nice. Was it?” He wipes your spit off with his hand and brings it down on your chest with twice the force immediately leaving your skin red. 

“Wanna try that again?” 

He slaps each tit several times leaving you a screaming mess as you wiggle against the wall trying to avoid the beating. 

“Let’s kick things up a notch.”

He digs his hand inside of his tactical pouch and pulls out a black mini vibrating wand. He turns it on to its lowest speed and pushes it up against your clit. You close your eyes and exhale at the welcome stimulation. Kakashi gets close to you and whispers in your ear,

“See how nice I can be?”

He rubs the wand in soft circles, massaging it into your labia, pulling content groans out of you as you reach for Kakashi’s lips. 

He complies with a kiss, allowing his fingers to run across your shoulder and up your neck into your hair while his other hand continues to manipulate the wand.

When he separates his lips from yours, your eyes gaze up at him through your lashes, giving him that look he craves day and night.

“But I can also be not so nice.”

He switches the wand to its second highest speed making you knock your knees. Your entire core tightened and your shoulders hunched as your body braced for the stimulation. Kakashi could see your newly built abs through your skin. He pushes up into you before ripping the wand away. You pant trying to catch your breath after holding it during the wand's assault on your sensitive nerve bundle. 

“So now do you want to cooperate?”

He pushes the wand against you. “Haaaaahhh! I didn’t steal it!”

“Lies!”

He rubs the wand up and down on your clit quickly causing you to unravel. 

“Nooo, m’not lying!” you scream through clenched teeth. You’re so close to cumming but he pulls the wand back before you can release. 

“Hidden Mist scum, you really think you can fool me?”

He keeps a firm grip in your hair as he begins to lightly tap the wand over your bud. Breathy moans slip through your lips with each tap leaving you flinching and full of anticipation. He leaves your nerves on edge with his cruel pleasure.

“It wasn’t me!”

He bares down on you with the wand making your legs shake violently. You’re hardly able to remain standing when he switches to the highest setting. Your body pulls against the hair he’s kept captive in his fist as your weight succumbs to gravity.

He resumes the up and down strokes of the wand till your knees buckle and you fall to the ground with a scream as you squirt all over the floor.

The rush of power he feels as he sees you reduced to a heap on the floor, laying in a puddle of your own spray brings your silver wolf to his most primal. He manhandles you. Grabbing you like a sack of rice, he flings you on the bed. He lays you on your back with your head hanging off the mattress and returns your earlier spit with his own. Right on your face before he speaks. 

“I’ve lost my patience. You’re going to tell me where the scroll is.”

He unties his pants and allows them to fall to the floor, kicking them to the side. 

The weight of his cock slaps up against his gray vest. He stands in front of your face admiring how your tits sit atop your chest, pushed up by your arms restrained under you.

He grabs himself and strokes along his girth, drooling at the sight before him. He leans down and beats against your face with the weight of his member. 

“Where’s the scroll, Angel?”

“Torture me all you want, I’m never telling.”

“Hmm, maybe I need to put this mouth to better use.”

He pushes his tip up against your lips. “Open.”

You shake your head. He gives your face a slap. You open up and he immediately slips between your lips feeling your warmth envelop him. He stokes slowly allowing your throat to adjust to him.

“Now this must be what your mouth was made to do.”

You gag around him as you try to say ‘fuck off’

He slapped you tit and went still in your mouth. “What was that?”

You didn’t reply. “That’s what I thought.”

“Now…let’s try this again. Where is the scroll?”

He pulls out waiting for your response. You remain silent, staring daggers up at his gorgeous face.

“Hmm, curious.” he says as he slides back into you. He shoves himself deeper making you choke. You can easily deep throat him at this angle. He slips down your esophagus with ease and enjoys how your body goes rigid from the way it steals oxygen from your lungs.

“How about, you answer my questions and in turn, I will let you breathe. 

Does that seem fair? 

Of course it is. 

Where is the scroll you stole?”

He pulls out and you gasp for air. 

“It’s back at our hideout.” you say between gulps of air. Your teary eyes looking up at him before they are hidden by him sliding back down your windpipe.

“And exactly where is your hideout? Hmm?” 

He makes you wait to answer him, keeping himself buried deep in your trachea until he sees your chest flush from lack of oxygen. He pulls out, allowing you  to choke down fresh air. 

“It’s behind the waterfall.” you gasp. He shoves himself back in.

“That’s too generic of an answer.” He says casually stroking in and out of your mouth. “I want to know which waterfall precisely.”

You choke and cough around him. The vibrations tickled him euphorically but he pulled out with an amused hum. “What was that?”

He was good. 

“It’s behind the waterfall on the south edge of the woods. One hundred paces from sparrow’s rock.” you choke out, cheeks and brow covered in your spit. Your face was an absolute mess and he loved it. He gives you a few light slaps on the cheek.

“Good girl. Since you were so generous with me, let me be generous with you.” 

He fishes under your shoulders, grabbing a hold of your elbow to pull you up to your knees. He stands directly behind you. Reaching one hand around to play with your tit while the other reaches down between your legs to circle around your bud.

You fall back against his chest breathing heavily at the pleasure. You turn your face towards his with closed eyes, feeling complete bliss. 

Your bound hands find his shaft and grip around it. His chest rumbles. You stroke up and down along his length while his fingers quicken their pace between your legs. You tighten your grip in thanks, pulling up and down to the best of your ability with your limited range of motion. He breaks character and kisses your temple and cheek, cherishing you. He bunts his head against yours, completely enamored with you and mind numbingly in love with you. 

You circle your hips around in his hand with a moan that snaps him back into play. He licks a stripe up your face before berating you.

“Such a filthy slut. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you enjoyed this.” He pushes your head down into the mattress and lines his tip up with your slit. “Am I right? Do you enjoy this?”

Before you can answer he pushes into your warm heat forcing a guttural groan to escape as you appreciate the stretch that only he gives you. He drags himself in and out of you at a languid pace, making sure to fully bottom out each time. You moan in grateful satisfaction.

“Tsk, tsk. I bet you let yourself get captured purposefully so I could defile you. Am I right?”

“No”  you squeak out, unconvincingly.

“But you do enjoying this, don’t you”

“Mhm” your noise come out high pitched and needy

He strengthened his grip on your hips, making sure to pull you to the edge of the bed so that he could reach all the way inside of you from where he stood. He started to pick up his pace, pulling you into his hips as he rammed himself up into yours. Each time, bottoming out and leaving you breathless. He could hear your desperate pants as he pushed more air out that you could recover. 

He felt how you constricted around him, swallowing him whole like the greedy slut you were. 

“You know you should really thank me for fucking you so good.”

“Yes, thank you.” you say as if spellbound by his cock

He chuckles. “That’s the most cooperative you’ve been all night. Maybe I should have gone straight to fucking the information out of you.”

Your musical pants begin to fill the room. 

“Yes, fucking you would’ve been much more productive.”

He watches as your hands behind your back begin clutching at the air. You wanted to stabilize yourself but you had nothing to grab on to. 

Kakashi smirked again as he picked up speed allowing his sack to freely swing into your bud as he slammed into the back of your thighs. It was driving you wild. You were on the edge of cumming again and he knew it from how tight you were getting. He purposefully slowed down earning a desperate whine from you.

“Oh I’m sorry. Did you want to cum?”

“Mhm”

“Pathetic. You don’t get to cum when you want. I’m in charge of this interrogation, or did you forget?”

You begin to move your hips back and forth trying to increase the speed of his strokes. He slaps your cheek, “Slut.” he spits before returning his hand to your hip and resuming his earlier pace. 

He brings you to the edge once again before slowing down. Your walls spasm in retaliation to his edging. 

“You’re not here for your own pleasure. You’re here for mine. It would serve you well to remember that.” he snarls as he picks up speed again. His balls pounding into your clit, your face burried into the mattress as he fucks you deeper into it. He used you like a toy and you loved it. You wanted him to continue to stuff you full of himself.

He grabbed you by the neck as his strokes escalated. Lifting your face off of the bed. Your legs shook. You could feel yourself toppling over as he chased his orgasm.

The two of you groaned together, filling the room with your filthy sounds, ensuring your neighbors heard how he used you. He spilled his spend inside of you, casually stroking it deeper eliciting soft whimpers as you felt yourself about to collapse. 

Keeping himself buried in you, he untied your wrists. You brought them back behind your head to grip around Kakashi’s neck. You moaned into him loving the way his warmth filled you with happiness. 

You pulled yourself off of him and turned around on your knees to face him. One hand clutching his neck, the other exploring under his uniform.  Your fingers enjoying the feeling of his chiseled abs and defined pecs. Humming happily into his mouth as you passionately kiss him. 

You bring your make out session to a close with several pecks on his lips and jaw and whisper into his cheek,

“So what brought this on?”

“Seeing you in your old uniform made me want to put on mine.”

You hum into his neck. 

“I’m almost upset with you for not wearing it for me sooner.”

He kisses your forehead before he walks away to wash your drying cum off of his cock and comes back with a washcloth for you. He wipes your face off and then your inner thighs before tossing it into the hamper and walking over to his pants.

“Sorry Angel, I didn’t think of it till all this business about you wanting to go on missions.”

You pull your shirt over your head and lay back on the bed, staring at him seductively. Rubbing your legs together, you simper,

“So does that mean I have your blessing?”

The air in the room suddenly becomes cold. He turns his gaze up at you with a frigid expression.

“Not even a little.”

The affection you had been flooded with washes away. He takes note of your expression and continues.

“I’m not letting you frolic around the woods searching for ways to get hurt.”

“Excuse me? I don’t frolic!”

“Fine then, I’m not letting you run around in the forest looking for ways to die. You wanna serve your village? Then sit at your desk and interpret the intel brought to you.”

He finishes putting on his pants as you seeth.

“I worked really hard to get ready for the field! Just ask Ino and her friends!”

“I don’t care. You’re going back to Class S projects effective Monday. I’m done letting you mope around.”

“I’m not moping! I’m trying to find happiness and you don’t seem to care!”

“I care!” he roars, “But you’re not going on missions! You’re not getting yourself killed. You are not to leave the village, that’s an order!”

He turns to leave, furious with you. He couldn’t even stand to look at you when you said such foolish things. 

Your breathing was ragged with rage as he snapped your front door shut. You run after him to lock the deadbolt so he couldn’t turn around and come back. He was treating you like a child. You are strong now. You excel at everything you set your mind to. He knows that. He’s being selfish. Letting his fear get in your way. 

You stand there panting and feel his cum slip out of you and run down your leg. A painful reminder of the happiness you just felt moments ago. You turn around and go to the bathroom to wipe it off and take a piss before showering. You needed to wash this whole night off of you.

Under the warm water you scrub at your skin. Willing the suds that slip down your body towards the drain to take your anger and disappointment with them. You lay your head and your forearm against the shower wall. What am I going to do?

Part 12

Masterlist

[ennalydonsbee]

Watch Closer.

Enna had been busy. Outfits for Cress, an outfit for Monty, little outfits for Pandora. She hadn’t noticed people being pulled aside until a man came up to the stylist’s workrooms. And Enna, being out in the open, was approached first.

“Miss Lydonsbee, is it?”

“Yes?”

Well, hopefully that was the only reason she was approached first.

“Would you mind coming with me, answering a few questions?”

“Oh. um…” She looked at the small pants, pandora-sized, before back up to the men, who looked somewhere between bored and unimpressed with her. “Can we talk here? I’m really busy…” no. his eyes said. “You know what? Never mind.” Enna stood, beginning to pack her supplies.

“We won’t be long.”

“Oh, okay.” She wasn’t sure if she was just supposed to leave her stuff, but that seemed to be the implication, so she kind of did. She wasn’t sure who this guy was exactly, but she was exactly caught off guard enough to just follow along. Into an elevator, into a viewing room, empty. Of course it was, there wasn’t anything to see yet. The tributes were all in the tower. He pulled out a chair for her in the center of the room and relaxed into the couch. The briefcase he’d been holding was opened, producing a file with her name on the manilla cover.

“What’s that?” Enna asked, eyes darting down to the contents, although he was holding it at an angle. Strange, how relaxed he could be while still holding all the power in the room. 

He looked over at her, pulling out a pen as he answered.  “just some routine questions. I’m working my way through the tower. Since you’re so interested, we can begin. Just be honest with me now, and you won’t have anything to worry about. Now, can you run me through what you did between 134’s finale and arriving at the tower for 135?”

“Um…” well, quite a bit of it, no. “not daily. But yeah. Of course. I’ve got school. So I go there monday wednesday thursday friday.”

“And Tuesdays?”

“Tuesdays off. It’s my laundry day. And I work on projects. Either for class or for Cress.”

“Cress. Meadowforge, yes, I see that contract here.” He shuffled some papers around, skimming what Enna could only imagine was a copy of her and Cress's contract, drafted up between them meticulously. “Interesting date. you signed this before the games ended. Tell me more about that.”

“Well… I don’t know. She offered a pretty good deal, I mean, she paid for me to get my own apartment, and I wasn’t moving up in the tower, so I may as well pick a boss I like, right? And she’s the best boss. Plus, with that maternity wardrobe…”

“The baby. Was that a factor in your decision?”

“Of course. I love babies. And I grew up making kid’s clothes.”

“In nine?” a brow arched.

Enna’s pulse quickened, unsure what he was getting at. “In nine.” she confirmed.

“Interesting.” Enna had to grab her own elbow so she didn’t start nervously tapping with her fingers. He gave her a second to elaborate, but she didn’t know what to say. After a few too many moments of silence, he spoke again. “And how do you get to school?”

“The bus. Still working on my license, but with amazing transit like the capitol’s got, no idea if I’ll ever need it.”

“We are proud of our city’s infrastructure here.”

“We’re proud of everything.” Enna agreed, deciding he was the type of person who would like to hear that. “We’re capitolites.”

“What a wonderful thing to be. How lucky we are.” it felt like a threat, and Enna wiped her palms. Had she done that before? Was wiping her palms saying she was guilty? She wasn’t being accused of anything why was she already stressed out oh he was asking another questio- “Remind me, What are you studying again?”

“Art.” 

He nodded, sage, and Enna knew that he’d both known the answer and wanted her to confirm it. “What medium?”

“I mean, I guess most of them. We’ve done sculpture, I didn’t like that much… sketch- I love sketching, it’s really where I shine - charcoal, pastels… um… I can go on?” stammering meant nervous, looking nervous was bad, don’t look nervou-

“Painting?”

“Sure, plenty of painting. Watercolor, oil-”

“Spray painting?”

“I-” vox parva. VP, her handwriting, if people knew her hand well enough. And he seemed to have all the cards, it was possible he was looking at a side by side comparison right now “Um…” a nervous chuckle, trying to play it off. She wasn’t the best liar in the world, wasn’t even a good one. but she’d had plenty of time with the mirror practicing denying this. “N-...no, We don’t… I mean, check our curriculum. We only do actual art forms. Not any of that common stuff.” it was something she’d heard a classmate say about one of her murals, and the line was saving her now. Hopefully, anyway.

“Uh-huh.” He seemed unimpressed, so enna shook her head again.

“I think I’d be expelled for picking up a spray can.”

“Especially if they knew what you were doing with them.” He said, turning the file around for the first time, showing off a surprisingly photorealistic color of her last two spray paintings. 

Enna’s eyes widened, and she could hardly get out the word that came next “What?”

“Oh, don’t play dumb. What do you know about this?”

 Honestly, if you asked her about this later, she wouldn’t have been able to remember what she said next. The autopilot kicked in majorly, because she was pretty sure her soul was somewhere in the middle of next week.

“I… nothing? I mean, I’ve seen that online, I think, but- I mean… where even is this?”

“On the corner of Felicity and snow.”

“Which snow?”

That had him going back to the paperwork, everyone knew there were at least four streets named snow in the capitol. “Lane.”

“There’s a lane?” she asked, like she hadn’t picked Snow Lane out herself.

“You’re getting off topic.”

“Sorry.”

“Excused.” She wiped her palms again, deciding to put them under her thighs to hide them again. “So you’re claiming you don’t know anything about this?””

“I don’t.” She confirmed. 

“Even though you claim to be an expert in capitol transit, who could conceivably find her way anywhere in the capitol, with victor’s funds behind you and an art background? Even though spray paint is such a distinctly district art form, miss Enna from nine?”

“I… wait, do you think we had spraypaint in nine?” A moment of genuine confusion crossed her features, because she hadn’t actually expected that. “Are you kidding? Dude. We couldn’t afford beds for all of us orphans. Or food. Or anything. pencils were revolutionary. We certainly didn’t have spray paint. So if you’re done accusing me based on where I was born… are you asking everyone about this? Or just me?”

He seemed to buy it, or at least suitably cowed by her genuine offense. “And the train exploding?”

“What? The one in, like, six? I only leave the capitol for reapings. How would I have gotten there?”

“I’m not saying that, I’m asking if you have any informatio-”

“What, because i’m district?”

“Now, I didn’t say-”

“You were thinking it.” Enna huffed, like this was the greatest offense, like being called capitolite by oxford hadn’t cut to her core days before. She stood, preparing to leave, but a hand stilled her tizzy.

“I’m asking because you seem awfully close to Slate Skylar, a known rebel, and his whole family.”

“Sure.” Enna wasn’t going to try to deny that, but she didn’t sit.

“Do we need to be worried about you, Miss Lydonsbee?”

“No.” Enna shook her head, hands remembering far too late in this conversation that her skirt had pockets she could shove them into. And thank the stars, because the sweat was back. “I liked slate because he liked to write, but I didn’t know what about. He used to write silly fiction stories and let me read them. Nothing like that zine. And I’d sketch nearby. It felt nice to not feel like I was being judged just because I wasn’t born here. I wish more people made me feel that way. And that’s not rebellious to say, mister.” She had him there. His assumptions had kind of sucked in how they’d been said, even if they were right. And Enna carried that huff out of the room, scared to stay in there a moment longer and give herself away.

As for Valorant, he didn’t bother chasing after her. He’d got what he would for now, and he knew when it would cause more of a scene than was worthwhile to chase some district girl.

In his notebook, though, he highlighted her name.

Enna Lydonsbee- Watch Closer.

[yourdreamsyourwish-2]

So, I used to do weekly updates to let everyone know where I’m at, and since I also like polls I decided to do weekly polls/updates on what I’m working on.

I'm hoping to make it every Monday night for it to come out on Tuesday Mornings!

Requests status: OPEN For both Reactions & Scenarios

Things Coming this Week:

As of right now, Nothing is set in the Queue. I am still working on things. I haven't had the time to write anything but I hopefully will get back into the swing of things ASAP.

Working On:

Reactions: Working on Reactions 13-25. In the Meantime you can find the Masterlist here.

Scenarios: I have 18 (2 for each member) in the planning phases as of this moment. In the meantime you can find the Masterlist Here. [These will usually be either One Shots or 1-3 parts]

Universes: My Multiple Chapter Stories. The Main reason I came back to writing EXO Fanfic. These will not be Member x Reader. For these I either write in 3rd Person with OC characters or First Person. Also all the Member OC pairs will stay the same through out each series.

Currently Working on...

Rewriting an old Minseok Werewolf -> Basic Plot is done. Maybe between 5-15 Parts, won't be higher than 25.

On: Chapter One

Phase: First Draft

Exodus College -> Based on Romance Trope; each Member gets one. [Each member will have 10-15 chapters each plus an epilogue]

On: Series Planning

Phase: Planning

Exceptional Love Series -> Sci-fi fantasy based on EXO Lore; This is 9 different stories that build to a second phase of the story that I am planning on being 25-50 Chapters Minimally [This is also a rewriting a pervious work I had done before as well; All members will have 5 Chapters each. All basic plot outlines for phase I are done.]

First Story will be Light [Baekhyun - 5 Chapters]

On: Chapter 1

Phase: Editing

Fae Inspired -> (I made a World map...) This will be similar to Exceptional Love with each member getting their own story but unsure if I will do a Part II, with a bigger story. [if I do, it' won't be that big]

Phase: Planning [had to finish the map first ]

Other works from my old account I'm thinking of rewriting and working out: Greek God Series & EXODUS City (A Mafia theme)

Okay that's a lot of information, but I do want to hear back from you guys! Which Universe are you the most excited about!

Also for those who don't know, I do not include Tao, Luhan & Kris in any of my writings of one shots/reactions. If I do, it's in the past tense, and I usually have them die in the prologue or before the stories begin in my universes if and only if it makes sense for the plot overall. I have chosen to include only current EXO members. Yixing to me will always be EXO Member, he has made it clear how much the band has meant to him over the years. Even if he eventually leaves, I will probably include him in the future as well. If you don't like that well then...Thank you for stopping by!

[iwannaban0nym0us]

Time for another one of my long rambley posts about my day!

so i had a free block first thing this morning and usually I would sleep in during it but had to move my tutoring from yesterday afternoon to my free since I had a soccer game yesterday (btw we won against a team we have a bit of a rivalry with) but anyway that meant i spent that time working on my stupid history essay which thank fuck i didn’t have to turn in today

And as usual i now need to back up a bit and give y’all a bit of context, so the week before thanksgiving there was a minor queer hate crime (involving the writing of a slur on school property) that occurred so that friday before break there was an assembly about that that involved queer people talking about how the incident affect them and what not, but I opted not to go to that since there was a space for queer people who didn’t want to hear more about it and I already had 20 things running through my brain (one of them being the history essay) so anyway after the assembly that space turned into a processing space about the assembly and queer people could either go to that or their last class (mine being history) I was planning on staying in the processing space but then my ex showed up so me and a friend ended up hiding in the garage and having our own processing space since we both really didn’t want to go to class, I also used that time to get a less dysphoric soccer uniform

Ok fast forward to yesterday night and i’m struggling with my history essay and there’s no way i’ll have it done by the due date (which was like 5 pm today) so I decide to email my teacher and ask for an extension (I like never do that) and I list the reasons: I have a bunch of other school work, school soccer season just started and we have a really busy season, and I missed one of our work periods due to the queer processing space. This morning my teacher replied and was like ‘yeah sure since you missed a work period you can have until Monday at 6pm to finish your essay’

So anyway the one time that I’ve like ever skipped an entire class lead to me getting an extension and I don’t know how to feel about that...

Ok, next class was CAD and that was chill we just worked on our CO2 canister cars, mine is trans colored (: and we were trying to plan if we should use our final sheet of acrylic or save it for after the trial day and my teacher was like “If I give you another sheet of acrylic will it make you less stressed” and then he did, I really like that teacher he’s so chill but also like strict enough that your really should stay on task in class

Next up was lunch which was pretty normal and involved a lot of talking about crushes and tv shows and gay/gender shit which was fun

Next class was Japanese and we’re writing stupid personal essays at least they’re only 500 characters tho, and also that teacher is also really great and gave us plenty of time and we have to submit a couple of drafts so we’ll get plenty of feedback and that’s one of the few classes i’m not stressing about

Last class of the day was history and we just talked about the industrial revolution more also we debated about who’s gonna win the mock conference we’re putting on, the ottomans or the japanese (ottomans obviously, does japan have furniture named after it???)

Now after school this is when the chaos really starts

So yesterday was my best friend’s birthday and so my friend group gathered in an out of the way classroom to celebrate them, also they brought cupcakes and another friend brought really good snickerdoodle cookies, in exchange of the cupcakes we all had to agree to letting my best friend genuinely compliment us and we were allowed to talk back or deny it while they did it their compliment to me was really sweet since we’ve been friends since 5th grade but there was a bit in there where one/both of us were distant since we were dating my/our ex (at different times than each other tho) they talked about how it was really cool to see both of us change and grow (haha trans) and also basically called me a golden retriever but like as a compliment and as in I can make friends with most people and somehow light up a room, anyway get that many gay nerds in a room together without supervision and chaos ensues, along with a lot of sitting on tables

At one point my best friend stepped out of the room to give a compliment to someone who didn’t want it done in front of everyone and another friend was like ‘i wanna write “fuck you” on the board’ and so she tried to jump to do it and I was like ‘no, use a chair, actually way a table is taller’ and then we we’re like ‘A CHAIR ON A TABLE’ and so we did that and then another friend said at uwu so she ended up writing “fuck youwu” it was in the perfect position so that it can’t be seen from where the teacher normal stands in the classroom, after that (while my best friend was still out of the room) we noticed an eraser stuck up on the board near the “fuck youwu” so we had to use our chair table set up to get it down ofc, and then that turned into the baseball with the whiteboard eraser the the x-axis (pvc pipe with tape on it labeled x)

When my best friend finally came back I was just standing on the chair on the table and so i decided to jump down, and when I did the chair slid of the table mid jump so that was really fun (I was fine and so was everyone else) next the friend who was being complimented showed off their many legged cat that had a questionable leg in a questionable position, they wanted to show me the actual drawing since the tie they drew after wasn’t in the photo so they brought me into the other class room to see it and when we got back everyone was like ‘it was so quiet for a minute there’ and we were like ‘oh fuck off /j’

And then we had our next great idea, chair on table on table, and so ofc we had to do it after we got it all stacked up i volunteered to get up on it and my head was brushing up against the ceiling when I was standing up on the chair, a bit  later one of my friends sat on the bottom table and so the rest of us decided we need to make stack of people sitting on this, so that friend stayed there, another friend sat under the table, the person who wrote “fuck youwu” on the board laid under the chair and I sat on the chair, after we got a photo of our master piece we all started to get down, the person on the floor got out first but as me and the one laying under the chair started to get down the table on top slipped out and everything went down, somehow we all managed to avoid getting hurt and I think I might have even landed on my feet

Not long after that I had to leave for robotics, at robotics I spent the whole time helping a more senior member teacher newer members how to use the router, which was actually pretty fun and a good practice since it’s been a while since I’ve used the router myself

After that I went to my school’s play which was so fun, everyone did so good and I’m friends with like half of the performers, the play was clue btw, and everyone was matched so well with their character, it was really funny and like the actors really gave it their all and it was just really great, also funny thing about the actors matching their characters—my ex played prof. plum who’s basically a stuck up prick who thinks he’s better than everyone else so it was funny to watch them in that role and it kinda felt like they were finally showing their true colors (aka being an asshole openly rather than secretly and manipulatively)

I think the worst part about seeing the play that my ex was in was actually the part after the show because ofc I was complimenting everyone since I know them all and I’m friends with like half of them so avoiding my ex while talking to everyone else they preformed with was kinda hard, it was also really weird because the last 2 theater performances i went to they were the first person i ran to, also fuck me because seeing them in that purple suit and in their element kinda reminded me why i fell for them, anyway I also saw their parents while avoiding them and congratulating everyone else so that was awkward, but apparently I’m on ok terms with their parents since they asked me how I was doing and told me to say hi to my parents for them

anyway yeah i think thats my whole day

Also a kinda unrelated note but yesterday i made a comment to a semi-close friend about being done with dating for a while thanks to my ex and she was like ‘I don’t even know what went down but I’m on your side’ and like she’s not the first person to tell me that like I’ve had classmates who I’m not at all close with tell me they’re on my side/they’re proud of me for ending the relationship/’do we need to be mad at your ex now?’ and like idk it feels good to know I’m not the asshole here because like ofc my friends are gonna say I’m not the asshole but like yeah my ex isn’t the nicest to a lot of people, like if they’re not friends with someone they’re neutral at best towards them and they’re really closed in on themself so idk I guess I’m the one who gets the support 

I think the reason I’m friends with like everyone is because I manage to be both weird and normal at the same time, like I’m a jock and a robotics kid and I’m gay also I’m like a weird ass extrovert so I feel the most comfortable around the “weird” kids and I can make friends with quieter folks who most people might ignore but I’m also happy to talk to the “normaler” kids also like reaching out to queer folks, knowing robotics + soccer people and then having dated a theater kid means that I know a lot of people

*sigh* why do my posts like this always get so long and take like an hour to write

[raysofcrosby]

ENOUGH FOR YOU – j. debrusk

warning(s): small amounts of angst and overall sickeningly soft fluff.

summary: love and relationships– something you so desperately craved and wanted, but wouldn’t allow yourself to have thanks to a fear of vulnerability and a past heartbreak. after the end of a fling, you notice a pattern across all of your past flings that makes you feel as if you’re unloveable. a rant to your best friend gives him that push to finally take the step in confronting his feelings for you and his chance at showing you that you’re worth everything and more.

word count: 8.907

an: yikes this one’s been a long time coming. literally this has been sitting half finished in my drafts for who knows how long– it started out as a self-indulgent fic bc those are some of the best ones lol but anyway, the twin brother of the reader is a made up player for the bruins and ya well, enjoy!

“Peter, I’m sorry. But I can’t give you this rose.”

“Good choice!” You mumble through the bite of your chipotle bowl, pointing your fork at the flat screen. “He was a dick anyway.”

You were sitting in your best friend Jake’s apartment, sitting on his couch with the Boston Bruins fleece blanket you’d made him for Christmas last year. The lights off everywhere but the living room, leaving you sitting in the dimmed room. Jake was out with your twin brother and the rest of the team, celebrating a big Saturday win. Why they decided to go out on a Monday night when they could’ve just celebrated yesterday on Sunday was beyond you.

Normally on Monday nights, you would be sitting right here on Jake’s couch with him beside you, the two of you munching on chipotle bowls, though his was always heavier on protein than yours, and watching the new episode of The Bachelorette. But tonight, tonight it was just you, your chipotle bowl with extra of everything, a side of queso, chips, a mixed drink, and your feelings. Oh, and Michelle, the new Bachelorette.

This wasn’t your original plan, no way. Originally, you were supposed to meet Lucas– a boy you met in undergrad and for the last two years, had an on and off fling with– at Panera for lunch. As a matter of fact, he had sent you a text earlier that morning– “hey, wanna meet up? lunch at Panera on me @ 1?” Immediately, you said yes. It’d been a little over three weeks since the last time the two of you had hooked up and you needed a release. So that morning, you showered, shaved completely, canceled your Bachelorette night plans with Jake, which he was okay with since that meant he could go hang out with the guys, went to work, and met Lucas up for lunch.

You already planned on what you were going to get– just a greek salad. You weren’t wanting to eat too much before you guys went back to his apartment. Having a full stomach wasn’t exactly ideal for a dick appointment.

Turns out...you got way, way ahead of yourself.

Lucas didn’t text you for a ‘let’s grab lunch and then go back to my place and have sex all over my apartment’ meet-up. He texted you for a ‘hey, we can’t hook-up anymore. I met someone and I really like her’ meet-up. His word-for-word verbatim was– “I met her that morning after our last hook-up. Remember how we both woke up super early? I couldn’t go back to sleep and I actually had time to stop and get coffee before work. Turns out we both ordered the same thing and went to reach for our drink at the same time. She does graphic design like you, but for BU and she’s a first-year grad student. This was a lot of fun, I really enjoyed getting to know you and you’re great, but...I really like her and we’ve been sort of dating the last three weeks.”

Thankfully, you didn’t have to sit through that lunch, Lucas receiving a text from his boss saying he needed him to come back and run through an assignment real quick. So, the two of you grabbed your orders to-go and went your separate ways for good. Him back to a law firm downtown and you, well...you went back to TD Garden and went back to work.

Work, being your last year of your internship with the Bruins creative services department doing graphic design. An internship that your twin brother had suggested you apply for after graduation. One that after your interview, you had them promise that they wouldn’t hire you just because of who he was. And when they assured you that they’d put your skills and knowledge way above your connections, you were much happier to accept the job.

Logan Wynn may have had a lot of connections, and one connection got you a foot in the door of applying for that internship, but it was your skills in graphic design that had them bring you back for a second year– a second year, that if everything went smoothly...you’d be finding yourself in a full-time position in the department. News you were told today, just before lunch in fact.

None of that mattered now, since all you could focus on was your dumping in the middle of waiting for your Panera order. And it wasn’t even the dumping that bothered you. Lucas was nice, sure. Was he good in bed? Yeah, but not your best. He wasn’t someone you saw yourself ending up walking down an aisle to either.

It was how he said it and why that really bothered you...because it wasn’t the first time a guy had dumped you for someone else he had in mind. Nor was it the first time a relationship had ended on a friendly note like that. It wasn’t even the first time that a guy had said you were great and nothing was wrong with you, it was just that he found someone he liked better– but reiterated that you were still great.

Dating back to your freshman year of high school, that seemed to be the way your relationships ended— if you could even call them that. Logan liked to call them your “almost” relationships— close to being official, but something always stopped it from happening:

The guy always found another girl he liked better.

But even worse? You were the reason why they did. No matter how many compliments they showered you with— ‘you’re great, ‘I do like you, ‘you’re beautiful’, ‘any guy would be lucky to have you’— or how many times before they walked away, they tried to convince you that it wasn’t your fault they wanted to end it…it was. You were the reason why they always ended it.

And you’ve always known that things would end the same, even from the very beginning, you knew. But that didn’t mean that watching every failed attempt at a relationship end, hurt any less.

It wasn’t like you had some severe background family trauma either. Your parents had an amazing, practical fairytale romance— sickeningly adorable and married for almost 30 years — you grew up in a loving household and surrounded by perfect examples of just how great love could and should be.

But when it came to your own relationships...you were scared.

Scared of fully giving yourself to someone beyond just that physical level, but actually opening up to them and letting them know your hopes and dreams, what keeps you up at night and learn about your childhood. Scared of letting yourself be vulnerable with them, always wondering if there’s something that would scare them away– even if you’ve been told time and time again that there was nothing wrong with you. Ultimately, you were scared that you’d finally open up to someone and get comfortable with the vulnerable, only for something to go wrong and they leave– leaving you beyond heartbroken.

You’ve seen the breakups in movies and shows, you’ve read them in books, you’ve witnessed your closest friends go through the most heart-wrenching moments that caused you to cry along with them, always wondering how someone could ever risk or be okay with breaking such pure and loving hearts.

It scared you because you never wanted to find yourself feeling that way again. Your parents always used to say that sure, thanks to growing up with Logan and another older brother, you knew how to hold your own ground and never let anything show– but even then, you were still sensitive on the inside. And no matter how much you hated showing that vulnerability, it was still there and it was never going away.

And it wasn’t like you haven’t tried to get past those feelings, because you have. Hell, even Logan has tried and set you up with some of his teammates while the two of you were in high school– of course, you trusted him because he wouldn’t set you up with a total ass– and there was one guy where you thought that maybe being vulnerable wasn’t so scary.

His name was Casey and he and Logan had been teammates the moment Logan started playing with the Junior Terriers– both even going on and committing to BU and playing their freshman year together before deciding to go off into the draft.

Normally, you were wary of showing any kind of interest in your brother’s teammates and friends because you never wanted to cross that line or risk ruining a friendship of your brothers– but Logan was the one who actually suggested that the two of you start talking. And he did it by inviting the two of you to join him on a double date with his now fiancé Francesca. It was about as innocent as a first date at 16 could go– the four of you playing mini-golf before ending the night walking around a nearby park and eating ice cream.

Casey was everything that you thought he wouldn’t be– and by the end of the night when the two of you let Francesca and Logan have some space ahead of you on the walk back to his car, Casey had not only offered you his jacket but had asked if it was okay if he held your hand. You said yes, he told you to keep the jacket until your next date and the two of you exchanged numbers before he kissed you on the cheek and helped you into your brother's car before getting into his own and driving away.

It was easy to say that based on that first night alone, you’d become hooked on Casey Wells. The two of you snapchatting every day, texting every day. You already went to your brother's games before, but now it wasn’t just Logan you were cheering on. The two of you went on your own separate dates while still joining Logan and Francesca every once in a while. He wasn’t your first kiss, but he was your first time and you knew that you felt deeply for him due to the way he went out of his own way to make sure you were comfortable and safe, all while trying to make his bedroom as romantic of a room as possible with a 16-year-old hockey boys room could be.

You didn’t want to seem like such a cliche– fall in love with the boy who took your virginity– but you couldn’t help it. Casey was everything all those different boys in those YA books you loved to read so much were but wrapped up in one person. He was kind, caring, he yearned to learn your likes and dislikes, he surprised you with your favorite things, he would listen to you rant about your bad days or rave about your good ones. He joined your family vacations and you his.

He was the first boy you ever loved and had ever dropped those stone-cold walls you kept so high for. The first boy to ever make you feel comfortable being vulnerable around– even going as far as to saying ‘I love you’ for the first time in your life after that first year of dating.

And then freshman year at BU...you saw the Snapchat.

It was after a big win and there was a party on campus. You had gone to the game to support Logan and Casey, bundled up as warm as you could be since you had been feeling under the weather for the last two days. You congratulated them both before wishing them a good night and going back to your dorm, skipping the party so you could get some extra sleep. When you woke up Saturday morning, you felt a lot better than you had been feeling the previous few days...until your roommate walked in with coffee and breakfast for the both of you, the look on her face saying that things weren’t all that great.

It was from another one of Logan and Casey’s teammates' stories of a group of people playing beer pong and in the background, you could see a couple all wrapped up in each other, laughing and smiling. You didn’t want to believe it was Casey– it could’ve been one of the other teammates. But when the story continued on into the next snap, the couple turned and you were hit with the crushing reality that it was Casey, only able to see his face for a few seconds before the brunette in his arms (who you recognized as a member of the women’s hockey team) pressed her lips against his and the two were locked in a kiss that lasted one second too long for your liking.

Two years of your life had come tumbling down in a mere matter of seconds, your heart crushed in shambles from the aftermath of his actions.

And everything you didn’t want to happen...happened. You confronted Casey about it, crying more than you had ever done before and while he admitted his guilt, the fact that he wasn’t sad about what he had done, only made it worse. Logan found out after walking into their shared dorm room coming back from lunch with Francesca, therefore walking in on your argument.

Their friendship was in ruins, your relationship was done, your heart shattered, and later that night when Casey asked if he could stop by to exchange your things you had managed to gather up the courage to ask him why he did it. He didn’t blame it on being drunk, he never once didn’t own up to his actions– that much you were thankful for. However, it was when he told you “Riley and I get along great...we have more things in common, the chemistry was better. I swear it’s nothing you did because I love you, I really do. But, it’s easier with her” that ultimately shattered the remaining pieces of your heart.

“I swear it’s nothing you did.” “I love you.” “It’s easier with her.”

Perhaps those were the phrases that kept you on the path you’d been on from the moment your relationship with Casey had ended. Before him, you were barely teetering the line of only keeping a man at bay in fear of him breaking your heart, but after the one guy who did– it was like he himself had shoved you over it and you’ve been walking down that road ever since.

It was easier to move on post-breakup when Casey got drafted to the Kings and went out west. It was even easier when Logan got drafted and became a hometown boy on the team he’d grown up idolizing– the Boston Bruins. You had your friends and your family to help you move on from the crushing heartbreak, but more importantly–and maybe a little bit self-destructive– once you were ready to step back out into the dating world, you did.

Initially, it really only started as flings. You talked with the guy, got to know him, you were each other’s main hookup– that’s pretty much how it went your next two years of college. But senior year was when it changed and you found yourself slowly entertaining the idea of a relationship. Maybe it was because your brother was engaged, maybe it was being surrounded by the loving relationships of his teammates, or maybe it was because your heart was telling you that you were ready to take another leap of faith.

Though you never let it get the chance, nor did it ever seem to have the chance.

Because everything always ended the same– you kept them at arm's length and they found someone who didn’t.

You heard the front door open and looked away from the tv long enough to spot Jake walking into the apartment before focusing your attention back to the screen where Michelle was having a one on one date with Clayton, continuing to eat your chipotle bowl.

“Hey,” Jake said, walking towards the kitchen island and dropping his keys onto the counter before walking beside the couch, looking at the tv. “What are you watch– oh shit, it’s Monday.”

“It’s fine,” you replied, shrugging your shoulders before pausing the tv. “We were gonna watch it tomorrow, remember?”

Jake looked at you, eyebrows furrowed. “Not that I’m bothered or anything, but if that’s the case...you’re sitting alone in my apartment...on my couch and watching it without me, why exactly?”

“Plans changed,” you shrugged again, moving the blanket off the empty spot beside you. “Didn’t feel like sitting in my apartment alone. I could’ve gone to Logan and Fran’s, but you know how gross they get when they’re trashed. Besides, I knew you’d come home eventually.”

He walked around the couch and sat down next to you, reaching forward and grabbing the chips and queso you’d ordered before draping the other side of the blanket over his legs and propping his feet up on the table. “What makes you think I was coming back home alone though? Totally could’ve cockblocked me if I brought a girl home and she sees another girl on my couch shoving chipotle into her mouth and downing a vodka cran.”

“You don’t know it’s vodka cran,” you replied, rolling your eyes. “Besides, I’ve been out with you guys multiple times, and even when the opportunity presents itself, you never take a girl home– hell, you don’t even go to their place.”

“Doesn’t mean I couldn’t have done it tonight,” he replied, munching on a chip. “And I know it’s a vodka cran because I know you, Y/N.” He grabbed another chip, this time dipping it into your bowl and scooping some of the contents out. 

“Yeah?”

“Mhhm. Which means I also know that you’d never go against our friendship pact by watching the Bachelorette without me. And I also know that you only drink while watching it when you need to drown yourself in your feelings...not to mention your bowl is pretty packed– or was.” He grabbed another chip, dipping it in queso and looking at you. “So, are you going to tell me what happened? Because last time I heard, you canceled our Bachelorette date for plans.”

You moved some of the contents of your burrito bowl around with your fork, feeling Jake’s gaze on you continue to linger as he waited for a reply. “The plans weren’t what I thought they were.”

“Did something happen?” He asked, turning towards you on the couch. “Did what’s his face do something? That’s what your plans were right? Lunch with what’s the guy–”

“Lucas.”

“Sure, Lucas.” Jake waved off, moving the chips and queso back onto the table. “Did he do something to make you–”

“No, no, it wasn’t that,” you replied, shaking your head and sighing. “He was fine, it was fine...it just wasn’t what I thought the plans were going to be is all.”

“I’m confused…” Jake said, tilting his head to the right. “What exactly were the plans?”

“He texted asking to meet for lunch, and in previous encounters...lunch was grab something to go and then go back to his place and–”

“Yeah, yeah, I get the picture, please don’t go any further,” he replied, cutting you off as his face twisted up into disgust. “So what? You meet up, grab food, go back to his place and hook up...is that it? What was so bad? Did you throw up on him or something?”

“God, no, shut up,” you groaned, shoving at him with your foot before looking back down at your bowl. “We never went to his apartment...we didn’t even get lunch together.”

“So...what happened then?”

You leaned back into the couch, sighing heavily. “He basically broke up with me–not like we were dating anyway. Said he met some first-year grad student in the cafe and they both ordered the same thing and it was basically true love at first sight or something.” You laughed sarcastically, shaking your head. “Funnily enough, he met her the morning after we had last hooked up, she does graphic design and according to him, I’m great and he enjoyed getting to know me, but he really likes her and they’ve basically been dating the last three weeks.”

It was silent as you felt Jake’s gaze still on you and when you looked over at him, you felt relieved. Normally in this situation, whether it be with your friends or your brothers, you’d always get the same look of pity or sympathy on their face. That was the last thing you wanted. You already felt bad enough and you didn’t need someone else feeling bad for you. But not Jake, never with Jake.

“Are you sad about it?” Jake asked, resting his right elbow on top of the pillow cushion and propping his head against his fist. “I mean like...did you want something to happen with him?”

“I don’t think I’m sad about him ending it...he was just a fling, you know?” You replied, stabbing at the veggies in your bowl with your fork. “It’s just...it always happens to me. The stupid ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ bullshit. I mean, I know I’m not the easiest person to get close to...but at this point, it’s just...it’s exhausting.”

Jake leaned forward and grabbed your glass, handing it to you before taking the burrito bowl off of your lap and putting it on the table. “What’s exhausting?”

“Everything,” you laughed dryly, shaking your head before you took a sip of your vodka cran and sighed, looking down at the glass. “I’m starting to think I’m doomed to be single for the rest of my life, you know? That I’m totally unlovable and maybe it’s my fault because I’m too scared to let someone close to me or maybe I’m just meant to be that girl that makes guys realize what they want in someone, but don’t want me.”

“And I know I can do it, be vulnerable with someone because I did it before. But I’m just so terrified of letting someone in like that again, because the last time it broke my heart,” you spoke softly, tracing your finger around the rim of the glass. “And I’m starting to think that I’d rather have that than to continually have men tell me that I’m great and cool, but I’m not what they want.”

You took another deep breath, exhaling before finishing off the vodka cran and handing the glass to Jake. “Sorry for venting, I know you’re probably not interested in my woes. But besides Logan, you’re the only guy in my life who I can be this vulnerable with and that I know will never judge me for it. I mean hell, you watch me stress over a fake reality dating show every week.”

“It’s a good show,” he smiled softly, holding the glass in his hands. “But you’re right, Y/N. I’ll never judge you for being vulnerable with me, ever. And that Lucas guy? It’s his loss for breaking/not breaking up with you. Every guy who’s ever done that, it’s their loss because as far as I’m concerned, you’re the coolest girl to get to know.”

“Thanks, Jake,” you smiled.

“Anytime,” he nodded, pointing at the tv. “I’ll get you a refill only if you fill me in on what I missed...and share your chips and queso.”

“Deal, because you’ve missed a lot.”

He walked into the kitchen to make you another drink, turning the lights on and ruining the dimmed living room. When he came walking back a few moments later, he took his spot right back next to you and handed you your glass, you handing him the chips and queso before grabbing the remote.

“We can just start it over, I don’t mind,” you said, rewinding the program.

“You’re already 30 minutes in, you don’t have to–”

“Seriously, Jake...I don’t mind,” you replied, pressing play once it was back at the start. “Besides, watching the Bachelorette without you isn’t the same. I missed your usual banter.”

Jake propped his feet up onto the table and scooted closer to you so the blanket wouldn’t need to move far before resting the chips between you and the queso in his lap. “This good?”

“Mhhm, you can have some of my bowl too,” you replied, scooting the bowl closer towards him.

“Good, cause I brought a fork,” he smiled, pulling a fork out from beside his leg before reaching into your bowl. “Hmm...could use more protein.”

“Just shut up and watch the show,” you laughed, taking a bite from your own bowl before scooting closer and closing the distance between your bodies.

You looked at Jake as he focused on the show and smiled, already feeling a million times better simply from his presence. He really was your best friend and you didn’t know what you would do without him. You leaned your head against his shoulder, watching the show and silently praying to yourself that you’d never have to go back to living in a world without Jake Debrusk by your side.

It wasn’t an odd occurrence for Jake to wake up with you. The two of you always had sleepovers, so many in fact, that he spent the better part of last season trying to convince you to just move in with him. You guys were best friends, he lived right by the arena so the two of you could carpool to work and when he was on roadies, he didn’t need to worry about his empty apartment. He didn’t mind the idea of living with you either. You guys were best friends after all.

Oh, and there’s always the fact that he’s harbored a major crush on you from the moment he met you.

But crush aside, he deeply cared for you– you were his best friend outside of his hockey teammates or friends from home. The two of you could have fun going out to bars and clubs and have the same amount of fun just chilling on a couch watching movies and tv shows.

He’s tried within the last year to tell you how he feels about you or hell, at least to kind of nudge you with the idea that he liked you as more than a friend, but it’s never been the right time. You were in your last year of grad school and working hard to try and earn a full-time job working with the Bruins– which would be your childhood dream come true. Add in the fact that you were still seeing this Lucas guy and Jake was pretty held back from ever attempting to pursue something with you.

At least until last night, last night was like the universe finally giving him that opportunity to take his shot. He hated seeing you so upset and he could never understand why you thought you were less than what you were worth. He could barely understand how these guys could even say that you were great, but they had found someone better– as far as he knew it, you were the best.

You were practically everything he wanted in a girlfriend and it was even better that you were already his best friend.

Which is why he was so nervous today. Because this morning when he woke up– waking you up next to him on the couch as well so you could have the first shower and get ready for work– he had it set in his mind that he was going to try and take that first step to tell you how he really felt.

Which meant he was going to talk to Logan first to see if it was okay that Jake planned on asking you on a date.

“Hey Logan, wait up!” He called out, jogging down the hall once he walked out of the locker room.

“What’s up? Aren’t you taking Y/N out to lunch today?” Logan asked, looking down at his phone. “Might not want to be late, you know how she gets when she’s hangry.”

“Yeah, but I actually wanted to talk to you about something first,” Jake replied, feeling nervous as they kept walking towards the door that would eventually lead them to the parking garage.

“Okay? What’s up?”

“I was wondering if you’d um,” Jake huffed, scratching the back of his beanie as he looked at Logan. “Would you be okay with me asking Y/N on a date?”

“Is that it?”

“...Yes?”

Logan laughed, shaking his head. “Dude I thought it was something super serious.”

“I mean...it kind of is?”

“I’m fine with it, Jakey. I know you’re a good dude and you guys are best friends,” Logan said, stuffing his hands in his winter coat pockets. “But Y/N might be a little hesitant about it.”

Jake felt his heart drop all the way down into his feet, the empty feeling it left behind making it almost hard to breathe. “Why? I-I mean...does she not–”

“No, no it’s nothing against you, I promise. I’ve actually teased her a few times about how close the two of you are, you know that. It’s just well...the last time she dated one of my teammates, he ended up cheating on her and it...well it kind of messed her up for a bit.”

“Casey Wells, yeah I know,” Jake nodded, stuffing his hands in his own pockets. “We talked about it one night after a bar.”

“Yeah well, he kind of put her on that whole ‘I don’t want to let anyone get close to me’ path she’s on.” Logan sighed, shaking his head. “You can try to ask her on a date, I can’t promise she’ll say yes. Just know that if she says no, it’s not because of you, okay?”

Jake nodded as they stopped just outside of the door of the parking garage, the elevator at the end of the hall dinging and the doors opening, with you walking out of them and into the hallway. “I was going to wait for you to come and get me, but I’m super hungry and couldn’t wait any longer.”

“I’m not saying you shouldn’t ask, because you never know...she could say yes,” Logan spoke softly, patting Jake’s shoulder. “And if she does say yes...don’t be a dick, okay?”

Jake just nodded before Logan nodded at you and walked through the doors into the parking garage, leaving him standing alone in the hallway as you walked up to him. “What were you guys talking about?” You asked.

“Just stuff from practice,” Jake nodded, opening the door for you and letting you walk into the garage. “Where did you want to go to lunch?”

“I was thinking we could pick something up from that sub shop down the street and just go back to your apartment and eat it. Is that okay with you?”

“It’s perfect.” He replied, walking with you to his car and opening your door for you before walking around, hesitating to get in. He could have this conversation now or he could wait until you guys were at lunch. Either way, he was asking you on a date today.

And he was hoping to God that you’d say yes.

Only he didn’t ask while the two of you were sitting at his kitchen table and eating your sandwiches. He didn’t ask when you asked him what he was thinking about– you– and he didn’t ask when he drove you back to the arena to drop you back off to work. Well...he didn’t ask on the car ride.

Plainly speaking? He panicked. He saw his moment slowly slipping through his fingers as he pulled out front of the arena and he just blurted it out.

“Go on a date with me!”

You stopped, one leg out of his car but your body still in the passenger seat as you turned to look at him. “What?”

“Shit I mean, ugh,” he groaned, rubbing a hand down his face. “Can I take you out on a date?”

He saw the way your eyes had widened when hearing his request and he watched them soften as you sighed and frowned. “Jake, you don’t have to.”

“Have to what?”

“I know you feel bad for me– but really, I’m fine, okay?” You asked, starting to feel slightly embarrassed at the fact he was starting to feel bad for you after what happened yesterday.

“I’m not asking you on a date because I feel bad for you, Y/N,” he laughed, shaking his head. “I’m asking you on a date because I…” he hesitated, the words stuck in his throat before he sighed. “Listen, we don’t have to go anywhere if you don’t want to. We can just do a date staying in...just, please say yes?”

His heart thumped against his chest with every passing second that you looked at him and didn’t tell him your answer. He was starting to feel embarrassed himself and like maybe he just ruined your guys’ friendship and right when he was about to tell you nevermind, that it was okay...you brought your foot back into the car and closed the door, turning towards him fully.

“This isn’t a pity date?” You asked, the small frown still on your face.

“No, absolutely not,” he replied, shaking his head. “I would never–”

“Okay,” you nodded, swallowing heavily. “What time should I be ready?”

“Is 6 okay? Just stop by and we can leave from there, okay?”

You nodded, adjusting your purse over your shoulder. “I guess I’ll see you at 6.” You opened the door again and got out, closing it before turning back and knocking on the passenger window and ducking down into his view, waiting as he rolled the window down. “You swear on–”

“Yes, yes, I swear this isn’t a pity date, Y/N,” he laughed, waving you off. “Have a good day at work, I’ll see you at six. Love you, bye.” He replied, rolling the window back up and waiting for you to walk into the arena before driving off.

It wasn’t until he was driving back to his apartment that he realized what he had said. “Love you.” It shouldn’t have been a big deal, the two of you had said ‘Love you’ to each other all the time in your years of friendship.

But he had also just asked you on a date. A date you were hesitant to take, just like Logan had said you would be. And now, his dumbass went ahead and said that he loved you and if he knew you as well as he thinks he does, then he knows you’re going to analyze his words way more than you need to.

He meant it in a friendly way– like the two of you had always said it.

But he would be lying if he said that he didn’t love you in the romantic way either.

You couldn’t focus the rest of the day at work, it was hard to keep your mind on a single-track focus when all you could think about was the fact that your best friend had just asked you on a date. You had texted Francesca the moment you stepped into the arena, but she was no help because all she said was “finally! You two have been oblivious for ages.”

So you spent most of your day thinking back on your four-year friendship with Jake. He and your brother had made their NHL debuts in the same season. Your family was like his second family since you were local and he came all the way from Edmonton. You were just at the end of getting over your break-up with Casey when Logan brought Jake home with him one weekend during training camp.

It was totally against your will and Logan wanted to show Jake around, so he dragged you along with them and Francesca to go play laser tag. And it was being teamed up with Jake and the competitiveness of wanting to beat your brother, that started your guys’ friendship. It didn't help that he was also really kind and even a little cute– but it was him letting you take the winning shot on your brother that sealed the friendship deal.

If you weren’t totally heartbroken from Casey cheating on you and you were just some single girl, then you definitely could see yourself possibly having something with Jake. You guys got along great, had similar interests and he even indulged in the cheesy shows that only your closest girlfriends would watch. Yet thinking back, you could never name or even think about a moment where you thought that Jake might even slightly like you.

When you got off of work, you took an Uber to your brother and Francesca’s, pounding on the door until one of them answered before you stormed in to rant about the fact that your best friend had just asked you on a date. They listened to you rant and talk and stress and in the end, Francesca reiterated how she thought this was a long time coming, while Logan just walked you to the door, nudged you out into the hall, and said “Don’t fuck it up, he really likes you,” and shut the door in your face.

So you went back to your apartment, took a shower, and got ready for your...date, maybe not date with Jake.

You were nervous taking the uber to his apartment and were even outside of his apartment door at 5:50, contemplating whether or not you should knock and arrive early or just hang out in the lobby until six. It wasn’t like you didn’t know the people who worked at the front desk. Instead, you knocked on the door taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly, waiting for him to answer.

And when he did, you half expected him to be dressed in sweatpants and a hoodie– knowing that he was always the one to get ready at the last minute and yet still be on time. But instead, he was dressed up in a pair of dark wash jeans and a maroon sweater, his beard was trimmed and it looked like he had even gone and trimmed his hair a bit– he looked really...well...really good.

“Sorry I’m early, I just got dressed a lot faster than I thought I would, so I figured I’d just come over,” you rambled, pointing down the hall. “I was kind of thinking you wouldn’t be ready yet and I could just sit in the living room.”

“It’s fine,” he replied, shaking his head. “Actually, I just need to grab my coat but we can head out now if you want.”

“Okay, sure,” you nodded, hugging your own jacket tightly around you as he grabbed his coat from the side table by the inside of the door and walked out to join you in the hall. “So, care to tell me what we’re doing tonight?”

“Nope,” he smiled, tugging the jacket on and walking with you down the hall. “It’s a total surprise.”

The two of you walked side by side as you left the familiarity of his apartment and down to the parking garage where he parked his car, the silence evident between you both...but it was comfortable and you weren’t surprised because there had never been a time where you were ever uncomfortable about Jake.

He opened the car door for you, letting you get inside before he closed the door and walked around the front to get into the car himself. You looked out the window, trying to figure out which direction you were going and where exactly he was taking you for the night– but there were a lot of possibilities and you weren’t able to limit them unless he gave you some kind of clue.

But that’s not what you were more curious about.

“Real talk?” You asked, turning towards him as he came to a stop at the red light.

“Always,” he replied, keeping his eyes on the streetlights ahead of him, but you weren’t oblivious to how he had nervously squeezed his steering wheel a little tighter.

‘Real Talk’ was always something the two of you said when you wanted a pure and honest conversation. It was something you and your brothers had done while growing up and it spread into your friendship with Jake as well.

“Why?” You shifted comfortably in your seat, keeping your focus on him. “I-I mean if this isn’t some pity date because you feel bad that another guy basically said I wasn’t good enough for him...then what is it? Why ask me out on a date now?”

“Well one, it’s most definitely not a pity date,” he laughed, shaking his head and moving forward as the light turned green. “And two...the timing was just never right before.”

“There’s never been good timing in the four years we’ve known each other?”

“No. You were coming off of a break-up when we first met, then you just kind of went off and did your own thing to help yourself heal. It’d be kind of a dick move for me to interrupt that when you were getting over what that asshole did.” He shrugged. “I guess I’ve just been playing the long game, you know?”

“The long game?” You laughed, leaning your head against the headrest. “So you’ve been what? Supposedly harboring this crush on me for the last four years and you just now decide to make a move? I find that hard to believe, Jakey...no offense.”

Jake sighed and pulled off into a CVS parking lot, stopping in a space and putting the car in park before turning to her. “Why? Why is it so hard to believe that I’ve liked you since I met you?”

“Because…” you wavered off, realizing that you really didn’t have a reason besides the fact you just couldn’t believe it. So you went with the usual excuse. “If none of these other guys think I’m good enough for them or they find someone better for them, then why shouldn’t I think that’ll happen with you?”

“Because I’m not those other guys and they were never good enough for you, Y/N.” He unbuckled his seatbelt, turning more in his seat. “I don’t think you understand how hard it’s been to see you start to believe that you’re not worth even the tiniest bit of love. There’s nothing you can say to convince me that if any of those guys ever gave even the slightest bit of a damn for you, that they wouldn’t have let your fear of being vulnerable affect your relationship with them.”

You sat there stunned in your seat, watching him as he spoke and only blinking in response to his words as you tried to let his words sink in.

“You say you can’t be vulnerable with anyone after Casey, but you can, Y/N. You can because you’ve been vulnerable with me. I’ve seen you ugly cry to the Notebook, or all spaesque in a facemask and in a robe. We’ve had those hard and heartfelt conversations after long nights at the bar. You’ve cried in my arms. I know your biggest dreams and your fears, I know your favorite foods and movies. And that’s not because I’ve been around for so long or that just cause we’re friends– it’s because you let yourself open up to me just like I’ve opened up to you.”

“So yeah, it took me four years and me asking your brother if it was okay to finally ask you on a date, because quite frankly Y/N, seeing you upset on my couch last night was like the final straw. I’m so tired of you giving these guys every chance to hurt you because you don’t deserve that. You deserve someone who is willing to fight to get past those fears you have. Someone who’s not willing to throw you aside because things aren’t easy. So let me be that person for you.”

For the life of you, you could never find a single moment in your memory that ever showed that Jake was interested in you beyond friendship. But when he looked at you and you saw his blue eyes soften as he spoke, you felt a chill go down your spine...because you have seen that look before and you never realized how you missed it.

It was always in the moments when you’d sneak a look at him during whatever you guys were doing– whether it was watching a movie, a game, playing video games, or doing something on vacation– Jake was never slick and you always caught him looking, but you would always just tease him about it and leave it at that.

Little did he know though, too caught up in his own embarrassment, you would always look back at him as soon as he looked away and admire him. Jake was cute, he was your type and he was your best friend– what was there not to like? And maybe you never allowed yourself to cross that thought because of what happened with Casey. Maybe you shoved that small thought and the feelings that came with it so far into the back of your mind that it was something you forgot.

But hearing him talk like this, hearing him speak from the heart about how much he cared for you and what you deserved– it brought you back to the one night where you realized that you had feelings for him that you couldn’t let yourself feel because the pain from Casey was too fresh.

“That summer when you stayed with us a bit after that first season and we went to Cape Cod, do you remember when we snuck out with Logan and Fran and went onto the beach?” You asked, sitting yourself up.

“The first night there?” He asked, furrowing his brows. “Yeah, what about it?”

You swallowed heavily as you played with your hands in your lap, twirling the matching friendship ring you and Fran both wore on your index fingers. “Logan was being an ass and did that whole Jaws scene because he knows how much I hated that movie and how I didn’t want to go out into the water in the first place and I swam back up to the sand and sat there.”

“You followed right behind me and let me use your towel since Logan had rushed us out and I forgot to grab one.” You looked up at him, your heart racing against your chest. “You could’ve gone back into the water, but you stayed up there with me and calmed me down. It’s nothing big, I know...but that was when I realized that I liked you as more than a friend. But I was scared and you...well you’re in the NHL. What could I possibly have to offer you?”

“You don’t need to offer me anything, Y/N,” he spoke softly, reaching out and grabbing onto your right hand. “You’re perfect just the way you are...soaked hair from Logan pulling you down beneath the water and all.”

The both of you laughed as you looked up from your lap, nodding your head. “I guess what I’m saying is that a part of me, well...I’ve liked you too for a long time and I just think I was too scared to let myself feel those feelings because of everything.”

“I don’t want you to be scared with me,” he frowned, shaking his head. “Like I said, Y/N. You’ve been vulnerable with me from the start. And if you decide you want to take this offer and go on more dates and eventually start officially dating, I just want you to know that I won’t give up on you when things get hard and that you can always open up to me, because I’ll never judge you or hurt you. You’re my best friend and I love you.”

Your heart thumped against your chest. You two had said I love you to each other before, but now it was distinguishing which one he meant– as a friend or as something else. “I might need some detail there…”

He tucked his chin down into his chest, something he always did to try and hide the fact he was blushing. “Yeah, I kind of stumbled on that earlier today didn’t I.”

“Yeah,” you blushed, nodding your head.

“I mean, I do...love you, you know? As a friend and...potentially more. I know we’re not dating and we’ve never done anything like that before, but I do have heavy feelings for you. So yeah, I do love you.”

Besides to your family, you’ve only ever said that to one other person in your life before– and it never felt like this. Hearing him say those words made you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. It calmed the nerves you felt running through your body. It brought a natural smile and blush to your face.

This was so much different than the feelings you felt the first time you were in love– it wasn’t a feeling you felt like you needed to constantly chase to be able to feel. It was stable, it was comforting…

It was Jake and he was there all along, right in front of you for the last four years.

“I love you too,” you spoke softly, fighting the blush on your cheeks as you looked at him, watching his eyes widen for a split second as he registered your words before the smile grew on his face and he squeezed your hand. “We kind of did this backward, didn’t we?”

“What do you mean?” He asked, furrowing his brows.

“We just said I love you to each other and we haven’t even gone on our first date yet...let alone kiss. Kind of backward, don’t you think?”

“We’re on our first date now, kind of,” he replied, looking around them. “As for the kiss, that’s an easy fix.”

Before you could say a single word, his left hand cupped the right side of your face as he leaned across the center console and pressed his lips softly against yours, the feeling of his beard scratching against your skin something you never thought you would become addicted to in such a short moment or the aroma of the coconut shampoo and conditioner you convinced him to buy would become your favorite scent.

Kissing Jake was everything you never knew you were missing– and all it was, was a simple kiss.

When he pulled away, you could smell the mint from his toothpaste on his breath and you smiled, reaching up and brushing your left thumb across his jaw. “I knew you’d be a good kisser.”

“Oh, you did?” He laughed, kissing your forehead before leaning back into his seat.

“Mhhm, just an intuition.” You shrugged, putting your seatbelt back on as he did the same and put the car into reverse. “So, are you going to tell me where we’re going?”

“Figured we could go play some laser tag.” He shrugged, smiling at you as he started to drive again.

“Ooh, taking us back to our roots huh?” You smiled, looking at him. “Back to where it all began?”

“Makes sense, doesn’t it?” He asked. “It’s where we first became friends and it’s now going to be where we went on our first date.”

“Just tell me this,” you said, shifting in your seat and turning to him. “Are we on the same team or not?”

“Divide and conquer? Absolutely not,” he laughed, shaking his head. “I’d rather not play against my girlfriend, thanks.”

“Girlfriend, hm?” You asked, raising an eyebrow. “I never said I agreed to be your girlfriend. Besides, you never asked.”

Jake turned to you with wide eyes before pouting. “I just poured my heart and soul out to you…”

“How about this,” you smiled, leaning against the center console. “We play on different teams. You win and I’ll be your girlfriend.”

“And if you win?” He asked, looking at you with an intrigued smile at your competitive proposition.

“Then I’ll be your girlfriend...and you get me a jersey to wear to the games.”

He laughed, reaching out and resting his hand on your left leg, squeezing it softly. “Deal.”

“May the best win.” You smiled, resting your hand on top of his and leaning back into your seat.

As you continued the drive to laser tag, you caught yourself looking over at Jake more than a few times and not being ashamed whenever he looked back with a smile on his face. You were scared, yes. There was something unknown about crossing over the boundary of your friendship with Jake...but there was also a sense of comfort you felt because it was Jake. You believed everything he said to you about what you deserved and how he felt.

And yeah, you were scared, and even after all of that you were still feeling a little undeserving of the heartfelt words that Jake had spoken to you, but then he’d look at you and you would see that soft look in his eyes and it all went away.

Jake was everything you’d been missing without knowing you were missing it– and now that you’ve found it, you didn’t want to let it go.

You finally felt loved.