#I’m not even aiming for what’s considered a ‘healthy’ weight for my height

[raychleadele]

Took a selfie today and felt like I actually looked thinner in it?? Like, I’ve been somewhat consciously trying to watch what I eat with the goal of losing weight since August (hadn’t done that since pre panini times), and I’m like quarter-assing it so I’ve lost a grand total of like ten pounds so far. But I saw my picture and went “Huh. Is my weight loss noticeable now? That’s nifty.”

[inkwell1013]

Feeding the Starving artist - Persona 5

Pairings: Various platonic ships. Mostly Yusuke and the Phantom Thieves, but also includes Yusuke and Sojiro (familial)

Genre: Angst, but also fluff, oneshot, found family, friendship

Word count: 5.2k

Warnings: This fic deals with some difficult topics including disordered eating habits and child abuse/neglect (implied/referenced).

Summary: Yusuke Kitagawa is the epitome of a starving artist - in more ways than one - and when Ren find out that his friend is dangerously underweight, he and the rest of the Phantom Thieves hatch a plan to help Yusuke with his bad eating habits. Because sometimes the solution is just as simple as it sounds.

- - - - -

Yusuke was stick thin. He always had been, even as a child. The reason was simple: he had never had enough to eat. When he lived in the atelier, complete meals were rare, and he was used to eating meagre scraps of whatever Natsuhiko could find in the cupboards. There just wasn’t enough food to go around.

Even after he left that place in the wake of Madarame’s arrest, unable to shirk the dark memories that clang to it like a thick fog, Yusuke stuck to those same eating habits. It was a comfort. It was familiar. It was enough.

As much as the school nurse told him that he was underweight and insisted that he needed to eat more, he refused to believe her. He was eating the same amount that he ate as a child and saw no reason to change his habits.

He was fine.

In truth, he was not fine. His diet was beginning to affect him, as much as he hated to admit it. He was tired constantly, and every time he stood up too fast, he felt his head spin wildly. Yusuke’s constant exhaustion meant that he was falling asleep at every possible opportunity – on Ren’s shoulder while they drove around mementos, at his desk at school or while they were just hanging out. No one minded, just like no one minded how Yusuke stole food from them when he thought they weren’t looking, chalking his behavior up to his usual eccentricity. It took a few months of this for any of them to notice that something was wrong.

And it was easy to not notice, as Yusuke was good at coming up with excuses. “I’m fine,” he would say. “Just stayed up late finishing a piece. Don’t worry about me.” Or “I just forgot my lunch. Thought I’d borrow some of yours.”

Even so, the more perceptive of the phantom thieves, especially Ren, Makoto and Haru, couldn’t help but worry about their friend.

It all came to a head during their summer vacation. Yusuke had come to visit Ren and left Le Blanc at about six o’clock, insisting that he needed to get back to the dorms before curfew. Ren had gone to take out the trash a little later that evening, and found his friend, sprawled out on the ground, unconscious.  

“Sojiro!” he yelled. “It’s Yusuke. He’s fainted!”

“What do you mean he’s fainted?” asked Sojiro. “I swear to God, if this is some stupid prank…”

“No. I swear he’s really unconscious. I think he might be hurt. Please.” Ren could hear the terror in his own voice, and he knew that Sojiro could hear it too, because there was a great clatter in the kitchen and Sojiro came running. He swore under his breath when he saw Yusuke, and quickly placed a finger to his wrist.

“His pulse is weak, but it’s there,” he said finally. “We need to get him inside. Can you pick him up?”

Ren dug his hands underneath Yusuke’s shoulders, and hoisted him upright, throwing one of Yusuke’s arms over his shoulder and putting his arm around Yusuke’s waist. He was horrified to see that he weighed almost nothing. “Is he heavy?” asked Sojiro. “Do you need help?”

“No… I don’t. He weighs nothing.”

“He can’t be that light. Pass him here.” Ren complied, allowing Sojiro to take on most of Yusuke’s weight.

Sojiro’s eyes widened. “He’s lighter than Futaba,” he whispered.

Futaba was a good foot shorter than Yusuke. He should have weighed much more than her, not so much less.

“We need to get him inside,” said Ren. From his hand’s position on Yusuke’s side, he could feel every one of his ribs. This was bad. How did he not notice that something was wrong before?

He shouldered Yusuke’s slight frame into Le Blanc and laid him down in one of the booths. “Fetch the doctor,” ordered Sojiro. “I’ll watch him.”

Ren wasn’t a particularly fast runner; he wasn’t slow, but he wasn’t especially fast either. Even so, as he ran to fetch the doctor, the world became a blur behind him. A single word repeated in his mind, repeatedly:

“Shit. Shit. Shit.”

He burst into Takemi’s clinic, grabbing her by the arm. “No time to explain,” he panted, trying to drag her out the front door. “You have to come.”

“Give me a second to lock the door kid,” said Takemi. “What’s gotten into you?”

“Yusuke… my friend… he fainted… and somethings really wrong. He weighs literally nothing. He’s so light.”

“That does sound serious. Where is he?”

“Le Blanc. Hurry.”

***

Takemi’s face fell when she saw Yusuke - who had thankfully begun to stir slightly - and Ren understood why. Yusuke’s appearance was almost ghoulish, he was white as a sheet and there were deep bags under his eyes.

“Is he another one of yours Sojiro?” asked Takemi, in a feeble attempt to lighten the mood. “How many kids do you have tucked away back there?”

“No, he’s not,” said Sojiro. “He’s… He’s Ren’s friend. Just spends a lot of time here. You know how it is.”

“You called the doctor?” whined Yusuke, trying to sit up. “That was completely unnecessary. I’m fine.”

“Yusuke, you literally fainted. You’re not okay,” said Ren, placing a hand on Yusuke’s chest and pushing him back down. “Don’t try to stand up, you might faint again.”

“But I’m fine!”

“I’ll be the judge of that, thank you,” said Takemi, reaching into her bag and pulling out a stethoscope. She pressed it to Yusuke’s chest, and listened a moment. Frowning, she lifted in away. “You have a weak heartbeat. I’ll bet you have a dangerously low blood pressure too. Do you feel any numbness or coldness in your extremities?”

“A little. I thought that was normal.”

“It’s a sign of poor circulation, likely due to your weak heart. Do you know how much you weigh?”

“Umm… the last time we had physical examinations at school I weighed fifty-three and a half kilos.”

“And how tall are you?”

“A hundred and eighty-one centimeters.”

Takemi pulled her phone out her pocket and jabbed a few numbers into it. She scowled. “Your BMI is 16.3. You’re severely underweight. It’s no wonder you’re having health problems.”

Somehow, to Ren, even the word ‘severely’ feels like an understatement.

“I’m surprised your parents weren’t contacted,” she continued. “This stuff is serious.”

Yusuke stared down at the ground, not saying anything. Sensing the tension, Takemi spoke again. “I feel like I’ve touched on a sensitive issue here. You are under no obligation to tell me, but is everything alright at home?”

“He’s in jail,” came the quiet response. “My fathe- my mentor got arrested… for child abuse. And my mother is dead.”

Takemi took in a sharp breath, looking desperately at Ren and Sojiro. “You have a place to stay, right?” she asked. “Because if you don’t, I’m sure Sojiro will…”

“I’m living in my school dorms. I’m fine.”

“That’s good. Look, I can prescribe you some medication to lessen some of your symptoms, like your fatigue and low blood pressure, but the best thing you can do is try to get to a healthy weight. Given your height, you should aim to gain roughly ten to fifteen kilos over the next few months.” She handed him a business card. “If you need any further help, you can call me or come to my clinic.”

She packed up her things and pulled Sojiro to one side, safely out of earshot. “This kid has some serious problems,” she whispered. “I don’t know if it’s an eating disorder or just bad habits, but he’s going to need help. I know it’s a lot to ask but—”

Sojiro interrupted her. “I will. I’ve done this before with my daughter. She had similar issues. I know that I can help him.”

Takemi nodded, begrudging respect in her eyes. “Besides,” continued Sojiro. “The kid has good friends. I’m sure they’ll help him out too.”

Sojiro saw Takemi out the door, but once he was sure she was gone, he headed back to check on Ren and Yusuke. Sojiro’s heart broke a little in his chest as he saw Yusuke’s expression. His eyes were watering, and he looked so confused and lost. When Ren patted him on the shoulder, Sojiro couldn’t help but notice that Yusuke jumped a little at the touch.

“I need to get back to the dorms or I’ll miss curfew,” he mumbled, sitting up.

“Let me drive you,” said Sojiro.

“That’s not necessary,” replied Yusuke, a tad sharply.

Sojiro sighed. “Just accept my help kid. It won’t kill you.”

Yusuke begrudgingly allowed Sojiro to drive him back to the dorms, after Sojiro insisted that he’d rather not find him passed out on the street again.

By the time Sojiro got back to Le Blanc, Ren was already asleep upstairs. He went to lock up the café, craving a cigarette for the first time in years. For the first time since… Since Wakaba died.

It was funny to think that just a few years ago he didn’t consider himself to be a fatherly person and now he had a whole troop of kids. Sighing, he put the key in the lock and turned it, before making the slow trudge home.

***

Ren let out a deep sigh. Pulling out his phone, he made a group chat and invited all his friends, save for Yusuke.

Ren: I’m calling an emergency meeting. Don’t tell Yusuke.

Ryuji: Why not?

Makoto: This is about him, isn’t it? About the thing we discussed.

Haru: I hoped we were wrong.

Ren: Yes, it’s about that.

Ryuji: Why are you all being so cryptic?

Ren: Meet me at Le Blanc at 10am tomorrow. Don’t be late.

Ren: That means you Ryuji.

Ryuji: Dude!

Ren: @Ann Make sure Ryuji gets here on time.

Ann: Will do.

Ryuji: Don’t encourage him!

Ryuji: Seriously, what’s going on? I’m so confused.

Ren: I’ll bring Futaba. Remember, do not tell Yusuke. He can’t know about this.

Turning off his phone, Ren set it down on the table and took in a long, deep breath. He needed to tell them. He needed to be a good leader. He needed to be who everyone else needed him to be.

He was a Joker, expected to fit into any gap, and designed to be a wild card. He could do anything, fill any role, and tomorrow, his role would be that of the messenger, bearing terrible news. He didn’t want to do it, but he had no choice.

***

When Ren stirred the next morning, memories of the previous night flooded his mind. Shit. He dragged himself out of bed and went to feed Morgana. Anticipating the promise of food, Morgana jumped off the windowsill, and onto the table, where Ren portioned out a tin of tuna for him.

“What are you sighing so much for?” asked Morgana between bites. “Is something wrong?”

“It’s about Yusuke,” explained Ren. “And it’s pretty serious.”

“How serious?”

“I had to call an emergency meeting.”

“But those are only for—”

“When someone’s life is in danger. I know.”

Morgana cocked his head. “It’s that bad?”

“Yeah, it is. He fainted, he’s so thin, he’s not eating enough, and I’m really worried about him.”

Morgana flicked his tail. “I had to deal with some food insecurity back before I met you all,” he began.

“When you were a stray?”

“I wasn’t a stray. I’m not a cat!” snapped Morgana. “But yes, when I was homeless, food was hard to come by. Maybe Yusuke’s dealing with something similar?”

“Maybe. He is technically homeless…”

It sounded bad when he said it, which it was. Yusuke had technically been homeless for several months. Even so, it had never been a problem, as he had been living in the Kosei dorms since Madarame’s arrest. It wasn’t like he was out roaming the streets or something.

Maybe the dorms were the problem. There was no one there to check that Yusuke was eating. He could engage in whatever unhealthy habits he wanted, and no one would ever find out.

Ren threw the empty tuna can in the bin, and went to help Sojiro with the café, hoping that having something to do with himself would lessen his anxiety somewhat. It worked, but only a little.

 Ren dragged Futaba - who was still groggy, having just woken up moments ago - to the meeting, before setting her down at the table with a fresh cup of black coffee. Morgana came slinking down the stairs a few minutes later. Makoto was the first to arrive after that, followed shortly after by Haru.

Ten minutes after the agreed upon time, Ann and Ryuji both burst into the room, bickering as always. “I can’t believe you made us late,” snapped Ann, sliding into the booth.

“I didn’t make us late,” replied Ryuji. “You were the one who just had to fix your hair before we left.”

“Only because it got messed up while I was helping you find your housekeys.”

“I didn’t know they would be under the sofa! I have no idea how they even got there!”

“You’re such a moron.”

“And you’re not much better.”

Ann rolled her eyes. “I love you anyway dumbass,” she said, giving Ryuji a peck on the cheek.

Once everyone was settled at the table, Ren retold the story of the previous night. A hush fell over the table, and Ryuji was the first to speak up.

“What can we do to help?” he asked.

Ren sighed. “I really don’t know. This is some serious shit. I mean, you guys weren’t there, but it was terrifying. I could count his ribs through his shirt.”

“We have to do something,” said Makoto.

“But Yusuke doesn’t want to be helped,” sighed Ren. “He insisted that everything is fine, even though we both knew it wasn’t.”

“We could just… give him food,” said Ryuji. “We don’t need to make this complicated.”

“Don’t be stupid Ryuji,” snapped Morgana. “There’s no way that would work.”

“No, I’m with Ryuji on this one,” said Ren. “It’s a simple plan, but it could work. So, are we in agreement?” There was a murmur of acknowledgement around the table.

“Alright. Let’s do this,” said Futaba, taking a sip of her coffee.

***

Makoto - always the most organized of the group - was the first to enact her part of the scheme: making Yusuke eat lunch. Her plan was simple and would hopefully work. She had prepared the first phase of her plan that morning, all she had to do now was ‘coincidentally’ run into Yusuke and enact phase two.

It wasn’t that hard to spot Yusuke on the train platform, as he tended to tower a good few inches over people, just as he was doing here. She reminded herself to play it cool.

“Hey Yusuke. Fancy seeing you here,” she said, walking up to him.

“Ah, Good morning Makoto. It’s not that unusual. We do catch the same train line up until the first stop.”

“You’re right,” said Makoto, shifting a little in place, and rearranging her grip on the bag she was holding. Just come out and say it already… The words just wouldn’t form on her tongue.

Thankfully, Yusuke brought it up first. “What do you have there?” he asked.

“Oh this? I accidentally made too much lunch today, and the rest wouldn’t fit in my backpack. It’s such a pain to carry it around though…”

Come on. Get the hint already.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” said Yusuke, glancing up at the noticeboard for train arrival times. This absolute moron…

“Why don’t you take it?” she offered. “You’d be doing me a favor; I really don’t want to have to carry it around all day.”

Yusuke frowned. “Are you sure? It’s your food.”

“I’m certain.”

“If you insist.” Yusuke took the bag from Makoto with a cautious reverence. He glanced at her one last time, as if making sure that it was really okay to take it, before opening his backpack and placing it inside.

“Oh. I’ll need the lunchbox back,” said Makoto. “You can just come by my house after school and drop it off.” At that moment, the train came screeching onto the platform, and she and Yusuke both stepped in.

Mission accomplished.

***

Yusuke was working on a new painting when his phone rang. He was about to decline the call, but he recognized Ann’s number and picked up. Clearing his throat, he spoke. “Good afternoon.”

“Hey Yusuke! I’m going to that new café in Shibuya tomorrow. Do you want to come with me?” asked Ann.

“Are you sure?” asked Yusuke. “I don’t want to be a bother.”

“It’s fine. I want to hang out with you.”

Yusuke thought for a moment but shook his head. “As kind as that is of you, I must decline, as I don’t have the money.”

“I’ll pay for you. Come on, it’s my treat.”

“I really shouldn’t…”

“I have pictures from that art showing I went to last week. I could show them to you.”

Yusuke was about to scoff – did Ann really believe that he could he bribed with pictures of an art showing? – but he stopped himself at the last moment.

He really wanted to see those pictures. He had been unable to attend the exhibit as it was during his exam week, but he had been following the artist online for some time and found their work both beautiful and inspiring.

Who knows if he’d get this chance again?

“Okay,” he said. “I’ll come.”

The next day, he arrived at the café at precisely the agreed upon time. Yusuke was one of those people who believe that being late was a terrible sin, comparable only to leaving one’s brushes in their water pot or wasting paint.

His eyes swept around the small café, and recognizing Ann’s distinctive blond hair, he walked over and sat down. There was already a wide array of cakes and pastries spread out across the table. Yusuke couldn’t stop his mouth from watering at the glorious sight, but he quickly reminded himself not to be greedy. This was Ann’s food, not his. He pulled his hands onto his lap, restraining himself.

Ann gave him a bright, cheery smile, and slid a slice of lemon cake towards him. “Here,” she said. “You like lemon cake, right?”

Yusuke stared down at the neat piece of yellow cake in front of him. His mother had made lemon cake for him once, when he was young. He didn’t remember the occasion – a birthday perhaps – but he remembered how it tasted. It was sour, yet sweet, and blindingly bright, like a drop of sunshine.

“Its my favorite,” he said, forcing back the memories. It wouldn’t do to cry over a piece of cake, like some kind of idiot. “How did you...?”

“Do you remember when Haru brought over those pastries the other day? When she offered you one, you reached right for the lemon cake without even stopping to look at any of the others. I assumed that’s because it was your favorite.”

“That was weeks ago. You remembered all this time?”

“Of course. It something that makes you happy, so I remembered it.”

“Huh.” Yusuke took the fork from the plate and cut himself a slice of the cake. It tasted just as good as he remembered.

He couldn’t help but remember what his mother said, as she handed him the piece of cake all those years ago. “That’s the great thing about this recipe. It lets you take something bitter and sad and turn it into something of melancholic beauty.”

“So, you wanted to see those paintings from the exhibit,” said Ann, pulling out her phone.

Ah, yes. That’s why they were here, wasn’t it? Yusuke almost didn’t care about it anymore; he just wanted to savor this flawless taste for one more moment. Blissful.

Even so, he pulled his attention towards Ann’s phone, where she had various pictures from the exhibition. He studied the artwork with a careful dedication, trying his best to etch every line and color into his mind. It was just as good as he expected from the young artist whose early work had enraptured him so.

As Ann rambled her way through many interpretations of the art that was on display, she made a point to push a few plates of sweets in front of Yusuke, who ate them dutifully.

Ann gave a secret smile.

***

Yusuke damn near tumbled over as Ryuji clapped him on the back, and he had to take a moment to steady himself. “Sup dude,” said Ryuji. “I’m going to the gym later. Wanna come?”

“I’m not really a fan of… those places…” mumbled Yusuke.

Ryuji was blissfully unaware of his friend’s apprehension. “I’ll treat you to beef bowl afterwards,” he offered.

Yusuke’s mouth watered at the promise, and he found himself nodding, quite without the preapproval of his mind. “Awesome man!” beamed Ryuji. “You don’t have to workout or anything if you don’t want to. You can just spot me. Anyways, I’ll see you there. What time do you wanna meet up?”

“Whatever time works for you.”

“Is like… five o’clock okay? I have to get changed into gym clothes and stuff.”

“As do I.” Did Yusuke even own gym clothes? He wasn’t certain. He had dropped out of gym class at the end of his first year of high school and never looked back. Even so, he was sure he’d find something to wear.

Rooting around in the deepest, most forgotten crevices of his drawers, he managed to find a pair of frayed, grey shorts and a tank top. These were classed as sporting attire, right? He pulled on the clothes and felt them completely dwarf his body.

He really didn’t want to ‘work out’ as Ryuji would put it. The last time he had done any massively strenuous exercise outside of the metaverse, which was sometime the previous year, he had fainted rather dramatically. It had been a particularly embarrassing moment, as it had happened in front of his entire class during gym and ended with him being carried off to the nurse’s office. He couldn’t help but fear that history would repeat itself.

He took a deep breath that did nothing to quell his nerves and left the dorms.

The gym smelt bad – that was Yusuke’s first thought. It absolutely reeked of sweat, and Yusuke couldn’t help but be a little intimidated by the various pieces of exercise equipment scattered around him that, in his opinion, looked more like torture devices.

Sometime while he was thinking, Ryuji snuck up on him and gave him a bone-crushing hug. “Sup dude. I’m so pumped about this!” said Ryuji. “I was gonna start with some cardio and then do some lifting. Do you want to join in?”

“Um… maybe?” mumbled Yusuke.

“Let’s just start and you can see how you feel. But go at your own pace and don’t push yourself too hard.”

Yusuke let out a murmur of agreement and headed towards the treadmills. If he was remembering correctly, running was cardio. He really didn’t want to run - it just made him feel tired and dizzy - but Ryuji was already setting up his machine, so Yusuke couldn’t drop out now.

He fiddled with the buttons until the treadmill was moving at a suitable pace and set himself into motion. It was invigorating, in a strange way. He even found himself somewhat enjoying the feeling of adrenaline pumping through his veins.

And then, once around half an hour had passed, Yusuke stumbled and had to grab ahold of the handle to keep from falling flat on his face. How graceful.

Ryuji turned off his machine and turned to his friend. “I think you’re a bit worn out,” he said. “Let’s take a break.”

Yusuke nodded breathlessly, and scrambled off the machine, desperately trying to catch his breath. When did he get this out of shape? He was startled when Ryuji threw him a bottle of water, which nearly smacked him on the side of the head.

“Go on,” said Ryuji. “Drink it.”

Yusuke’s thirst had gone unnoticed up until then, but he gratefully gulped down the drink. Somehow it had stayed graciously cool, even in the summer heat. Once he had drank all the water, Ryuji pressed something into his hand, going to drink his own bottle.

It was a protein bar. Yusuke had never had one of these before, but he knew that athletes ate them a lot. Even with the promise of chocolate chips – the message for which was printed on the side of the packet - Yusuke was cautious; he had never been a fan of new food.

He watched Ryuji tear open the packet of his bar and take a large chomp, looking for… something, though he wasn’t sure what. Permission maybe? He was used to asking others for food, whether that be Madarame, Natsuhiko or the school cook, and he wasn’t good at just taking things for himself.

Ryuji looked at him with a quizzical expression. “Why aren’t you eating? It’s really good. Give it a try.”

That’s all the permission Yusuke needed, and he took a bite. Not bad, actually. No one was more surprised than him when the entire bar was devoured in seconds. Maybe he was hungrier than he realized…

Ryuji took the empty bottle from him and threw it back into his backpack, before tossing the empty wrappers into the bin. “I’m going to do some weightlifting,” he said. “Will you spot me?”

“Of course.”

***

It was a hot day, and Yusuke was sweating like a pig. His back hurt too and he slightly regretted offering to help Haru with her gardening. Even so, Yusuke was a man of his word, and stubbornly refused to quit because of something as trivial as a little pain.

He rubbed the sweat from his brow and bent down to pull up the radish he was attempting to harvest. The damn thing just refused to move. He gave it one last tug and it suddenly came loose, sending him stumbling backwards, only just catching himself before he fell. Throwing the radish into the cardboard box at his feet, he went to start on the next row.

Haru appeared behind him and passed him a can of soda. It was chilled – she had probably got it from the vending machine – and Yusuke gulped it down in one go. Haru sipped her own can, glancing over at the box of vegetables she and Yusuke had spent all morning pulling out the ground. There was a good collection in there: some carrots, some radishes, a decent sized head of lettuce, a bag of green beans and more potatoes than Yusuke could count.

“We’ve had a good harvest,” said Haru.

Yusuke hummed in agreement, going back to pulling up radishes. Around an hour later, they were finally finished, and Yusuke said his goodbyes, about to collect his things and leave, when Haru stopped him.

“Wait a moment,” she said, pulling a plastic bag from her coat pocket, and picking a few handfuls of vegetables from the box. She handed them over to Yusuke with a smile. “Here, take these.”

“Are you sure?”

“Think of it as payment for your hard days work.”

Yusuke tightened his grip around the handle and nodded. “I’ve got to get home,” said Haru. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

***

Yusuke had spent the day with Ren, doing nothing in particular. At half past six, he announced his departure, but when he tried to leave, Sojiro stopped him, setting a hand on Yusuke’s shoulder. It was a strangely gentle touch, something Yusuke wasn’t used to, but he tensed under it regardless. “Why don’t you stay for dinner?” offered Sojiro. “I’m making curry.”

Ren appeared in the stairwell. “When are you not making curry?” he said.

“Watch your mouth young man,” laughed Sojiro.  Futaba giggled from her seat, and Ren smirked too. Yusuke couldn’t help but feel a little melancholic at the sight, longing for something he never really had. His hand twitched toward them, greedy and wanting, but he stopped himself.

“I want to stay,” he said. “But I’ll get in trouble. Curfew is at seven.”

“I’ll call your school and explain things. I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

Hesitation fluttered through Yusuke’s mind, but he forced it down. He wanted this, more than he had wanted anything in a long time. “Okay. I’ll stay.”

He let Futaba drag him all the way to Sojiro’s house, rambling all the way about an anime that she was watching, while Ren and Sojiro exchanged a secret grin behind him.

Yusuke had been in Sojiro’s house before, but this was the first time he had gotten a good look around. It really was just a normal house, with a slightly less normal family inhabiting it. Ren went to set the table, and Sojiro went to serve the food, Futaba helping him. Yusuke was caught in the middle, unsure of what to do. He didn’t want to get in trouble for doing something wrong, but at the same time, he hated just standing there, useless, and idle.

Eventually he settled for helping Ren lay the table, desperate to be at least a little helpful, and Ren did smile as he went over, which was a good sign. They laid the kitchen table together, and Yusuke surveyed the landscape. The kitchen was quite small, but a good enough size for a family of three. He wondered, briefly, if they ate breakfast together in the mornings.

The realization came to him, deep and cutting, that he hadn’t eaten breakfast, let alone a complete meal, with anyone since Natsuhiko left.  These days, he had grown used to eating his meals, when he remembered to eat them at all, alone in his dorm rooms, usually while working on something else. Food was always an after thought for him.

It was strange how much he missed it.

Sojiro came over, holding two plates of curry and Futaba trailed behind him, doing the same. Futaba handed a plate to Ren and Sojiro handed a plate to Yusuke. Once everyone was sat at the table, Yusuke waited for permission to eat, but wasn’t granted it.

It took a few moments for Ren to notice that something was wrong, but he eventually did, giving Sojiro a sharp nudge in the side and gesturing toward Yusuke. Sojiro quickly got the message and asked, “Why aren’t you eating son?”

The reply is simple, at least to Yusuke. “You didn’t tell me I could.”

“You can always eat here,” said Sojiro. “Whatever you want, and whenever you want it.”

Yusuke nodded slowly, picking up his spoon. Taking one last glance around the table, checking that it was really okay, he took his first bite. And then another. Soon, the plate was empty, and Yusuke had never felt so full in his life.

Futaba brandished her plate towards Sojiro like a knife. “I want seconds,” she demanded.

“Okay, okay. I’ll get you some more,” said Sojiro, standing up.

“I’ll have some more too,” said Ren, handing Sojiro his plate with just the slightest hint of a cocky smirk on his face. They all cast an expectant look to Yusuke.

Why not? He had room for a little more. “I’ll have seconds too,” he said. Sojiro smiled at him – a real genuine smile, something he had never seen from Madarame – and Yusuke decided he liked the feeling.

[puttingfingerstokeys]

A little something I whipped up for @heamatic​ with her Shinnok in mind.

No timeline alignment stuff here, just pure gift work based on a thread we’ve got on my RP account @bastardsunlight. Ft. Shinnok being creepy because that’s kind of his thing. Shinlao, because we haven’t come up with a ship name and I am appalled at our laxity. 

Also like, I can’t believe I’m saying this but neither writer is in any way under some fucked up impression that this is a good, safe, or non-toxic ship. We use the term to describe people who are involved IN SOME WAY. That way is not necessarily healthy. 

This story features no NSFW instances.

The dimly lit corridors of the Bone Temple are familiar passageways to Kung Lao as he moves effortlessly toward the audience chamber where he will soon be needed. Shinnok does not often offer his time, but today, he evidently feels generous. It is therefore his favorite creature’s duty to attend as well. Lao has long since stopped thinking of himself as a monk or even a former one, though his spiritual power is still formidable. That life is behind him. Netherrealm is—if not his home—his territory.

Emerging from a massive double door at one side of the infernal hall, he surveys the emptiness of it, the cavernous opulence of the mad god’s particular tastes. Deeper, under vents in the floor—Shinnok appreciates the screams of his captives—is the dungeon proper, though the audience hall very much resembles it. The high pillars are of dark reds, shining obsidian, and shot through with veins of other colors difficult to distinguish in the Stygian light of the realm of dishonored dead. Everything is bone and sinew and suffering here, fire and brimstone and ugly deception.

“You have kept me waiting, little one,” purrs the Elder God of Chaos from his throne. It is, naturally, constructed of bones—not all humanoid. He leans to one side and regards Kung Lao with those inscrutable eyes characteristic of his kind. “Do you wish to bring punishment down on yourself?”

“No, master,” responds Kung Lao, approaching the dais and then ascending to within reach of the massive entity’s long arms. If Shinnok wishes to pull his guts out and toss him back down like a used doll, he may do so from anywhere; why inconvenience him?

“Yet you offer no explanation…” The Elder God’s finger came out and lifted Kung Lao’s chin before sliding down his neck, over the pretty young man’s Adam’s apple, and down to collar bone and chest. He has left this one alive, appreciating the responsive heat and goose flesh of living skin. It bruises so prettily.

“I offer no excuse, my lord.” Kung Lao meets his eyes with an impertinence he loves and hates and oh he has made the right choice in this one. He had known the moment they met upon the field of kombat that Kung Lao would, indeed, make an excellent addition to his collection.

“You are wise beyond your years, it seems, if a bit pert.” Shinnok retracts his hand and waves it about. “Well, get on with it. I’ve better things to do.”

Quan-Chi materializes presently, late as well, though his arrival receives no acknowledgement whatsoever. His dark lord spares not a glance, instead watching the retreating back of the foolish monk who exchanged his own freedom for the life of his friend. Sentiment is worthless in Netherrealm and soon, the arrogant boy will learn this, if the old soul sorcerer must show him the way with his own two hands. His fists clench with the thought, imagining themselves about Kung Lao’s throat, squeezing until something breaks. The pleasure that arises from the thought sends a shudder down his spine.

Meanwhile, Kung Lao, unaware of this contemplation—or if he is aware, he cares so little, he doesn’t bother sparing the man, if a thing like Quan-Chi can be called a man, a single glance—turns to descend the dais. An oversized bone arm which has sprouted from the stone and bone floor of the mad god’s receiving hall offers itself, open-palmed, to the fallen monk. Kung Lao accepts it gracefully, laying his hand in the much larger one, knowing he has not displeased his lord on this day. The dry, brittle-feeling digits wrap gently about the young man’s hand as he makes his graceful retreat to discharge his duties.

Quan-Chi scowls at Kung Lao’s back until Shinnok actually turns his attention on his favored sorcerer—really the only sorcerer who will competently serve him with true, deep loyalty. It really is pathetic to watch, but sometimes a whipped dog is better than no dog. Shinnok has not even had to whip this one. He’s done it of his own accord. 

A strange Netherrealm native (as native as anyone can be in a realm of dishonored souls and demonic constructs born of the mad god’s fits of rage), it had been he who had approached the Elder God of rot and chaos to serve him. If Lord Shinnok could be said to be grateful for anything, he might have chosen that moment when Quan-Chi’s power had drawn him to his lord and master’s prison and set about events which would eventually free and embody him. Of course they have greater plans, but for the time being, this will do. 

This will do very nicely indeed, he considers, regarding his little pet’s taut backside as Kung Lao makes his way through the hall, the bone arm now sliding along with him, digging a furrow in the ground which seems to knit itself together just a few feet behind the abomination which now has its hand on the curve of Kung Lao’s lower back. Every sensation the bone arm feels, he also feels and the warmth of living flesh is delightful; he wants to grasp it hard, make the boy squeal with pain, make him bleed a little. Just a little.

Perhaps later.

“You have some… news?” Quan-Chi has been scheming—he is always scheming—to manifest his dark, mad god in Earthrealm and he clearly believes he has hit upon something. Shinnok can see it in the sparkle of the man’s eyes. Oh how he loves me, contemplates the Elder God with absolutely no reciprocity of that feeling.

“I do, my lord,” responds the sorcerer, bowing to one knee and standing to deliver his findings. Shinnok listens patiently, mind elsewhere as it must always be. He is chaos incarnate. There is little order to be had in Netherrealm beyond his absolute rule. Not much can hold the attention of an Elder God, in general, but Shinnok in particular has always allowed his mind to wander where it will. Aside from grand machinations of upset and overthrow which delight him endlessly, there is almost nothing of such magnitude in all of existence—no single object or concept which can so fascinate him. What could possibly be of such import that he, a deity, might need to focus his energies on it for any length of time? The boy, some part of his thoughts remind him sweetly. You’re quite captivated with your new toy, aren’t you? Ah but toys come and go. He will tire of this one… eventually.

That boy is now crossing the threshold of the temple’s audience hall, the doors gliding open before him. The dry heat of Netherrealm has ceased to move him and he walks out into it, ushering in the first petitioner, wondering if his lord and master will listen to this one, or slay it on sight. Any creature, demon, or lost soul who is bold enough to approach the Bone Temple and beg favors of the lord of the Realm is desperate, addled, or too cocksure for their own good. An obliteration by the death god is permanent, it is nothingness, non-existence. Somehow, that void is more terrifying by far than the screaming, burning, howling dimness of Netherrealm.

The first demon in line—he is first by virtue of having killed his way up the queue; the corpses of those before him are littered in pieces here and there as a testament to this, all still twitching and flailing as the death he grants is only pain—is a truly imposing figure, easily ten feet in height, with massive, twisted horns like a ram and a maw full of jagged teeth. His eyes ablaze with contempt. This expression does not soften when it lays its burning gaze (with all four eyes) upon the pretty, behatted monk—Kung Lao may not think of himself as a monk, but they do—but rather hardens to something bordering on obscene. The thing licks slavering lips with an exaggerated motion, clearly aiming to upset the small, soft-looking mortal, who does not respond, only gestures to the hall.

“The master will see you now,” he says in a neutral tone that betrays nothing. “Please, follow me.”

As they enter, the beast’s three-toed feet hit the ground much harder with each step than might actually be necessary, as if to emphasize his weight. Shinnok leans back upon his throne and assumes a semi-attentive posture. There is no real reason for him to pretend he cares; even the pretense is worthless, but for now, it entertains him. Some of the denizens of his realm wait the Netherrealm equivalent of months, even years, if Shinnok is indisposed and simply does not care. Lately, he has been taking more audiences, but then he has only lately had a… secretary. Kung Lao moves swiftly ahead of the demon, braid swinging tantalizingly behind his shapely back. The boy is an hourglass, upon close inspection, broad of shoulder, narrow of waist, and thick of hip and rear-end. The demon is inspecting.

“This is far enough,” instructs Kung Lao. “What are you called?”

The demon splutters with indignation. How could they not know him, the greatest general of the northern armies of Khadul, the god-king of the demons, the true creatures of Netherrealm! He has severely overestimated his importance, a grave error in the Bone Temple. The silent hall rings with its silence. An audience chamber ought necessarily to have an audience, but Shinnok prefers the cavernous immensity. It reiterates just how small his petitioners truly are. He eyes the demon, but has yet to speak. A bone arm sprouts near Kung Lao and it makes a twirling motion with its forefinger.

“Lord Shinnok bids you speak,” says the shapely boy through plump lips that look like they ought to be bruised and bloodied and used, in the creature’s foul opinion.

“I will speak,” he snarls, reaching out toward Kung Lao with the intent to brush past, “but with the lord of this Realm, he in whose temple we stand, not you, little slut. There are things I would do with you, yes, but speaking… it is not one of them.” The demon’s laughter rings out boldly into the hall, bouncing off the skulls and femurs and ribs and myriad other bones which make the walls, floor, and ceiling. Quan-Chi flinches minutely, though more at the brazenness of it than the sound. Shinnok is a statue. The bone arm has dissipated, crumbling like ash and ruin, leaving Lao alone. His lord is watching.

“No,” says Kung Lao, the syllable sharp and clear as a pretty bell rung in a mausoleum—and equally as incongruous next to the obscene, guttural speech of the demon. “No,” he repeats, “you do not speak. You bark like a mangy cur begging for scraps. Heel.”

He rushes the demon with lightning speed as it swings for him. There is a brief moment when it seems he might make a try for the beast’s sizeable testes, which swing visibly behind the scant loincloth one might say he is “wearing”. The idea occurs to him and a strange flash of melancholic amusement jolts Kung Lao’s spine before he disappears beneath his hat in a flash of red light and lotus petals. The creature, having never encountered this particular mortal, looks baffled and squats to examine the hat. Quan-Chi’s mouth opens to warn the beast of its insolence in his master’s presence, but a sharp gesture from said master silences him. His face heats with rage. How dare the boy show off this way? He will be punished—perhaps disemboweled or flayed. How delicious that would be!

As the as yet unnamed demon reaches toward the object to pick it up, the flash occurs once more and the deadly piece of headwear flips upward, turning vertically, its far edge held by the owner, the only man in any realm able to master such a strange weapon. The creature barely has time to cry out as Kung Lao draws the hat up its entirety, bisecting the thing and spilling its steaming insides along the floor. Midair, Kung Lao flings the hat, hard, toward Shinnok. Once more, Quan-Chi blanches, but the mad god catches it easily and holds it, bottom facing downward, toward his knees where he sits. This, he thinks, is the most fun I have had in millennia.

Kung Lao’s form plummets toward the gory mess he has made and for a brief, shining moment, Quan-Chi thinks perhaps he will fall and snap his neck and that will be that, one last escape attempt with the final spark of the monk’s spirit left to him. Lord Shinnok has no need of a broken doll. Of course this is a flight of pure fancy. Shinnok will find a use for that beautiful body, even broken.

Alas, rather than crashing to his death—or maiming, at least—Kung Lao’s body dives into a circle of blood, red light, once more accompanied by a flash and flurry of lotus petals. It takes only half a moment for him to repeat the trick, falling out of the hat and into his lord and master’s waiting lap. Shinnok allows the hat to settle upon Kung Lao’s head and once more tilts his chin upward so that their eyes meet.

“Far too impertinent,” he scolds, shaking his head, running his thumb over his little doll’s full, perfect, soft lower lip. Kung Lao is flushed with the pleasure of his accomplishment and hasn’t a spot of blood on his person. “Who are you to decide who I do and do not address, hmm? Is this not my domain?”

“His master would pretend it is not. One cannot serve two lords and you rule this Realm.” This is not a question, nor is it simpering. Kung Lao speaks cold, hard facts. “I merely saved you the trouble of hearing a dog bark.”

So bold, Shinnok thinks. I must curb this. But he does not punish his little favorite. The unpredictability delights him. Quan-Chi senses this misplaced delight and recedes from the receiving hall unseen, glowering over his shoulder and now hellbent on perfecting his machinations to bring his master to Earthrealm.

[awkwardpenguinproductions]

Melee

Part 3 of the Dragon of the Yuyan

Read on AO3 | Series Masterpost

Zuko has been living in Pohuai Stronghold for two months, and would very much like winter to be over now, please.

It had snowed a few weeks ago, just enough to cover the top of one's foot when one stepped in it, and Zuko had hated it at first sight. There was just something unnatural about how Koh-damned cold it was, forcing his inner flame to burn hotter in his chest to compensate. Most of the snow is gone now, only little piles of dirty slush left in the corners of the yards where the weak winter sun doesn't quite reach, but it is now somehow colder than it had been when the snow had first arrived. None of the other Archers are firebenders, and Zuko honestly has no idea how they cope—Kai actually seems to like it, but Kai is also mildly insane and not to be trusted.

Zuko is now triply glad that he took the Commander's deal. He gets three meals a day (plus access to all the snacks he could ever want—all he has to do is blink and people shove food at him), he'll be learning from the most badass soldiers in the entire world (although he has yet to actually start training—Dr. Atsuko says he needs to gain more weight before she'll let him even touch a bow, and Dr. Atsuko is really scary so he doesn't want to cross her), and he gets Agni-blessed warm clothes (Zuko will bite anyone who touches his koala-sheep wool cloak—Zheng and the twins make fun of him for his attachment to it, but Zuko ignores them with the ease of someone who literally couldn’t care less). And all Zuko has to do is figure out new and interesting ways of getting past the Stronghold’s security, like the voyage through the ventilation system he’d taken last week that had allowed him to access the single most secure prisoner holding cell in the entire complex without even Captain Katsuro, leader of Banli Squad and the oldest and most experienced member of the Troop, knowing where he was.

Considering that two months ago he’d been staring starvation in the face, Zuko feels that maybe the luck that he’d used up just by being born is starting to come back.

Now if only winter would end.

Zuko is sitting with Kai and Jiyoti at breakfast in the mess, watching with increasing skepticism as Kai discourses the merits of arrows made out of ice, of all things. He’s neglecting his bao, and Zuko waits until Jiyoti distracts him with a salient point—how would one make ice arrows without waterbenders?—before swiping one. Mmm, sweet bean paste.

Kai pouts at him when he realizes what has happened, but Zuko is distracted by Commander Toshiaki coming their way.

Privates, Zuko, good morning, he greets them.

Good morning, Commander, they sign in unison.

Zuko, you need to report to Dr. Atsuko in the medical wing when you finish breakfast, the Commander informs him.

Zuko nods. Yes, sir.

Commander Toshiaki nods, the faintest trace of a smile playing at his stern expression, and Zuko feels like a million gold pieces. The Commander had been impressed with his breaking into the secure cell, and Zuko can’t wait to impress him again on his next “mission” to test the Stronghold’s security. He can only hope that nobody’s too disappointed when he inevitably proves how much of a failure he is at archery and non-bending hand-to-hand. He’s already resigned himself to never completing his firebending training, since the Yuyan are all non-benders. He’ll just have to hope that he never gets into a situation where firebending is his only weapon. He wonders if the Commander will let him continue learning the dao, since it’s a non-bending form of combat.

He still needs to be cleared by Dr. Atsuko though, so after Commander Toshiaki signs for them to carry on, and he steals Kai’s other bao (and ducks the listless protesting swipe the older boy aims at his head), Zuko heads over to the medical wing.

For once, the CMO seems pleased to see him, and within moments Zuko is stripped to his underwear and standing on a scale. He tucks his hands in his armpits and shivers in the chilly air of the medical wing.

“Good news, you’re just on the right side of healthy weight for a boy your age and height,” Dr. Atsuko declares briskly. She allows him to step down and get dressed while she scribbles on the scroll that contains his medical information.

Does that mean I can start training? He asks, smiling hopefully.

Dr. Atsuko rolls her eyes. “Yes, yes, you can start training, put that look away, you brat,” she grouses. “But don’t overdo it, understand? If I see you in here because you did something stupid, I’ll have Toshiaki triple the time you spend on the bench for recovery.”

Zuko nods rapidly as Dr. Atsuko scribbles on a small square of paper and rolls it up. “Take this to Toshiaki,” she orders, handing the note to him. “And tell the Commander that I’ll have his hide if he breaks you in ways I can’t fix.”

Zuko has absolutely no intention of telling the Commander that; he’s not a complete idiot, no matter how stupid Father and Azula and his tutors and combat instructors thought he was. He knows perfectly well that he’s exactly one screw-up away from being tossed out of the Stronghold on his ass, Zheng and the twins never let him forget it. Better to keep his mouth shut and his hands still unless spoken to directly—he’ll likely have fewer bruises for doing so when they do finally get sick of him and kick him out.

The sentiment is appreciated, though. Dr. Atsuko is scary (not quite as scary as Azula—it’s doubtful that anyone’s as scary as Azula except maybe Father—but Dr. Atsuko is close), but she cares in her own way. Zuko forms the Flame and bows, she scoffs and waves him off, and he departs.

His grin hurts his face, especially where the muscle of his cheek wrinkles the stiffened scar tissue of his burn. He doesn’t care, though—he can finally start training with the Troop, instead of watching from the side like someone’s useless kid brother! He can’t wait to tell Kai!

But first he has to find Commander Toshiaki. At this time of the morning, the Troop is usually on the target range, working on speed drills.

Commander Toshiaki is exactly where Zuko thought he would be, along with the rest of the Troop. He presents the scroll to the Commander, who favors him with a quietly pleased expression.

This is excellent news, he declares. He then assigns Zuko to Chihese Squad for PT and weapons training. Zuko and Kai exchange grins, and Zuko ignores the ferocious glare Zheng sends him.

Captain Hiroki, Chihese Squad’s leader, looks Zuko up and down. Ever touch a weapon before, kid? He asks, and Zuko can see the sarcasm in the way his hip is cocked, his half-lidded eyes, and the smirk lurking just below the surface of his stoically flat mouth.

Something about him reminds Zuko of Azula when she was fishing for something to torment him with, and his spine snaps straight. I studied the dual dao for three years with Master Piandao before my father demanded I stop, he answers, keeping his hands and expression tightly under control. Father forbidding him from continuing his studies with the Master is a memory almost as painful as that of the Agni Kai, but he powers through it, refusing to let this potential Azula-replacement have any kind of ammunition against him. My Uncle helped me continue learning, as well as helping me learn other blade techniques. Such as this.

As fast as thought, Zuko draws his pearl dagger, flips it to grasp by the tip of the blade, and throws it handle-first at the closest archery target. It hits a fraction of an inch off of dead center, buried to the hilt. The target is at least twenty feet away.

Kai looks like Summer Solstice has come early. Mika and Jiyoti are smirking. Zheng is audibly grinding his teeth, dark eyes narrow and furious. Captain Hiroki looks… impressed.

The Captain walks over to the target, pulls out the dagger, and examines it as he walks back. Zuko watches like an eagle-hawk, but all Captain Hiroki does is look it over, shine the blade on the sleeve of his tunic, and hand it back to Zuko, who immediately tucks it into the sheath in his belt.

Very nicely done, he signs, all traces of sarcasm gone from his face and body. And quick, that’ll serve you well with a good set of real throwing knives. Why did your father make you stop learning from Piandao? I thought he was supposed to be the best swordmaster in the Fire Nation.

My father didn't like Piandao, and believed that weapons were beneath a firebender's dignity, Zuko replies, and doesn't miss the sneer that crosses Zheng's face. Annoyance churns in his gut, but Zuko's been ignoring Zheng's sneers and jibes since he was able to understand the Yuyan hand-language, and he's not about to break that streak.

A firebender, Captain Hiroki signs, almost absentmindedly, hairless eyebrows furrowed in thought.

I'm not very good, Zuko shrugs.

It seems as though Zheng can no longer hold his peace. You can't possibly be going through with this, Cap! He signs, fury in every line of his body, his hands flying so fast that Zuko can just barely keep up. He's a thief! He should be shipped back to the Home Islands in chains, not be trained in our ways like he's actually one of us!

Shut up, Zheng! Kai's hands snap out. Don't pretend you're not just jealous that Zuko's better at shadow walking at fourteen than you are at twenty!

Why would I be jealous of a spirits-damned street rat? Zheng replies, sneering. He's obviously lying about studying under Piandao, wanting the Captain to fawn over him the way the Commander does, while all he's doing is using his ridiculous street rat tricks to make it seem like he's actually useful and not planning on selling us all out to the closest dirt-eater forces––

Zuko can't take it anymore. He's many things: a failure, a soft-hearted weakling, a useless embarrassment to his father and family. But he is here now in this new life because he believed, and still believes, that it is wrong to sacrifice loyal subjects of the Fire Nation as battle fodder. The idea that he could be a traitor to his people burns even worse than Father's fire-whips, or the handful of flames he'd held to Zuko's face.

He breathes, and exhales fire. The force of his rage produces a plume of reddish gold flame that roars toward Zheng like a stampeding komodo-rhino, causing everyone to jump back to avoid being burned.  

Zheng is white under his Yuyan tan. Kai once again looks like the Summer Solstice has come early, with his birthday next. Mika's eyes are wide, and Jiyoti is practically hiding behind the older woman. Captain Hiroki looks thunderous, but before he can even move his hands, Zuko is already signing.

You don't know a damn thing about me, you giant piece of shit. His entire body is trembling, he’s so angry he feels like he’ll actually burst into flames. He doesn't even care that he might get kicked out for this. Zheng's been a boarcupine quill in his side since Commander Toshiaki and Chihese Squad had pinned him to the storeroom wall, and Zuko is done. I stole so that I wouldn't starve, because I was dumped in the middle of Koh-damned nowhere with the clothes on my back and a single useless knife, and I didn't even make it out of the Stronghold before I got caught anyway. I was going to die. I was supposed to die, but the Commander decided to let me live because he thought I would be useful. And I will never be able to repay him for that, for giving me a home and a new life, so I will stay here and learn everything I can and be as useful as I can possibly be, and you can shut up and stay the fuck out of my way!

He can feel the force of his glare in the pressure on his temples and the ache in his scar where his left eyebrow used to be, and the expression must be something because even Captain Hiroki seems reluctant to get close to him.

A hand lands gently on his shoulder, and Zuko flinches hard before whirling around to face the new threat, which is—

Kai, with an easy smile on his face, though his dark eyes are pained. Come on, he signs, let’s go to Master Arata and get you kitted out. Cap can deal with Zheng.

Kai leads him away, and Zuko glances back to see Captain Hiroki turning on a still white-faced Zheng.

Master Arata, the bowmaker for the Yuyan Archers, takes one look at Zuko and gives him the one bow with the single lightest draw weight in the entire Stronghold. Kai laughs himself sick as Zuko tries and fails to draw the bowstring back to his chin.

The Commander finds them in one of the training areas used by the regular Army companies that are stationed at the Stronghold. Kai is showing Zuko the strengthening and conditioning exercises the Yuyan use as part of their archery training, and Zuko recognizes many of them from both firebending and sword training, so they're in the middle of a planking contest when boots appear in Zuko's vision. He falls flat on his face when he realizes just who those boots belong to.

He and Kai both snap to attention, but Zuko can't look anywhere but at the ground, shaking as he awaits the Commander's punishment for firebending at Zheng. His shoulders ache with tension. He wishes the Commander would just hit him and get it over with.

Boots reappear in his vision, and Zuko squeezes his eyes shut and braces for the impact.

And nothing happens. Slowly, the fuzzy buzz of panic enveloping Zuko like a suffocating blanket falls away, and after a few moments he gathers every scrap of courage he possesses and opens his eyes.

The Commander is crouching in front of him, his head level with Zuko's chest, looking up at him with calm dark gray eyes. In this position, Zuko is head and shoulders taller, instead of the Commander looming over him, and he can't understand why the Commander would do this because it has to be absolutely demeaning for the leader of one of the world's best strike forces to take such a position before a useless idiot child like him––

Peace, Cadet Zuko, Commander Toshiaki signs slowly, expression serene.

Oh. Duh. As if Zuko needed another reminder that he's an idiot.

Captain Hiroki has informed me of your altercation with Private Zheng, the Commander continues. As the instigator of the incident, Private Zheng has been reprimanded and assigned a punishment detail. He has also been transferred to Banli Squad, per recommendation from Captain Hiroki and Sergeant Mika. However, firebending at someone outside of training scenarios or active combat is forbidden here in the Stronghold, by order of Colonel Shinu, and I'm afraid that means that I need to give you a punishment detail as well.

I understand, sir, Zuko signs haltingly.

You are to report to the komodo-rhino barn half an hour after dawn for the next two weeks, where you will perform tasks assigned by Stablemaster Guo until the mess opens for breakfast, the Commander declares.

Zuko blinks. He can't have understood that correctly. The Commander wants him to help take care of the komodo-rhinos… as a punishment?

But he has definitely learned to hold his tongue in front of superiors, and has probably pushed his luck enough for the next year, so he simply signs Understood, sir, and bows with the Flame.

I have also spoken to the Stronghold's firebending master, and he is happy to take you on as a student, Commander Toshiaki adds. You will report to him at dawn every day after your punishment detail is complete. He wished me to inform you that he understands if you have gotten lax in your meditations in the recent past, but he expects you to resume them immediately, so that you are well in the habit once your training resumes.

For the second time in as many moments, Zuko is shocked. He honestly hadn't expected to be allowed to continue his firebending training, and he could admit that a small part of himself had been just a tiny bit relieved. Before, even with Uncle's intervention, firebending training had not been a pleasant activity. No one had dared to physically harm the Fire Prince, but Zuko knew full well how the palace masters compared him to Father, to Uncle Iroh, to Azula, and never really seemed to care if he hurt himself in the process of trying to prove himself worthy of them.

But now, there's no one to compare himself to other than the soldiers who bend, and the master who oversees them. Anyone to whom he might try to prove himself wouldn't care about his firebending, because they don't bend themselves. Zuko isn't the Fire Prince, the Crown Prince, anymore, he doesn't have anyone's boots to fill but his own.

And that is a very exciting prospect.

So he grins widely at the Commander and signs Yes sir!

Previous | Next

[oldcoyote]

putting this under a cut for weight loss related talk. if you have any triggers in discussion of being underweight, obesity, eating disorders & societal restrictions regarding weight, do not click

query: is it still considered a problem if i am aiming for underweight not because i have any deep-set eating disorder or delusion about it being beautiful or better, but because i want to have the experience? 

i do not have anorexia, for the record. but i am still aiming to lose enough weight to be classified as underweight. 

to explain: i’ve experienced super-morbid obesity. i’ve been too big for everything, too hot all the time, etc. i’ve seen what my face looks like at 350lbs, what my body looks and feels like. i also know what it’s like to be just overweight, as the weight keeps coming off i keep discovering more and more things i can do now that i just couldn’t before because this world is not built for big people (let’s not go into that, i have ISSUES), and the smaller you get, the easier the world becomes. not better, just easier. 

i’m looking forward to when the 'over’ weight is off, as the last time i was the ‘correct’ (barf) weight for my height was when i was in my early teens and i do remember what that felt like, but it’s more like a ghost of a memory without substance to use for comparison - because i didn’t know differently then. i was being gaslit by the bullies at my school into believing i was fat (i was not) so it got twisted and broken in my head, even though i was a perfectly normal size. i never got to experience it properly in the adult sense because i was too young to enjoy the benefits of not being overweight. i never got to have the body confidence because of the bullying, my mother had the ease of buying me the readily accessible clothes sizes and things, i never got to experience that part because i was already obese when i became an adult.

but i find myself wanting to know what it feels like, what i would look like, not only at ‘normal’ weight but also underweight. i’m not daydreaming about stick thin legs, i’m just curious. but my curiosity is like a starving wolf, i need to feed it, even when it’s dangerous to. i like experience and i like experiments and more than anything i like testing my willpower and my endurance for surviving through hard things. it’s why, even disabled, i push myself too much too often to prove i’m strong enough or determined enough to be capable of what able-bodied people are, even though it sometimes costs me a week of recovery. i like to know, in myself, that i can do it, regardless of what i pay for it. it’s one of the few things i like about myself: i endure

i took a break from weight loss once i hit 100lbs off not just for my health’s sake because intense weight loss is super bad for your body, but i’m about to start again in the new year and i’m hoping for another 100lbs drop over the course of it, which would put me around the ‘normal’ weight for my height by Christmas 2020. it’s after that i keep thinking of, and planning for, this idea of being one of the few people who can literally speak from experience from both ends of the spectrum. i want to do it just to prove that i can, and to see how i feel and what effect it has on me mentally and physically compared to supermorbid obesity, and take notes, and SHARE that information with people who want to know. and then i can go back to ‘healthy’. it’s not like my body has ever complained about putting the weight back on, so that part wouldn’t be hard at all

i don’t know. i feel like a lot of people would respond really badly to my wanting to do this, but it doesn’t make me want to do it any less?

[mangodrama]

30 day thinspo challenge

Day One- Your stats

SW - 135//CW - 122//UGW - 108-112

Day Two- How tall are you? Do you like your height?

I’m 5’4’’. I do like my height. I think it makes lots of things easier! Airplane travel, dating (if dating someone taller is a preference), finding short skits that aren’t to short to wear, wearing heels, etc.

Day Three- A picture of your thinspiration. What features do you like about this person?

Ariana grande is my thinspiration of the moment. I really love her arms and also how narrow her hips are. She reminds me of what I looked like at my LW and what will look when I reach my UGW 🙌🏼🤞🏼💪🏼

Day Four- Your greatest fears about weight loss.

Not making enough progress in time 😞

Day Five- Why do you really want to lose this weight? Are you doing it for you?

Definitely for me. It’s all about living at my full potential. I honestly was happier when I was at my lowest weight. I really really want to get back to that ASAP.

Day Six- Do you binge? If so, explain why you think you do.

Yes I do 😣 I’ve struggled with bulimia on and off since I was about 12. While I had the tendency to overeat since a very young age, I haven’t really practiced a more stereotypical type of binge purge activity until the past year. I really really hate it but so much of it is addicting and reinforcing—the act of binging (huge dopamine hits from eating ‘forbidden’ foods especially after a period of extreme restriction), getting on the scale the next morning and not seeing it go up after a night of hedonistic eating (not usually the case, and typically it will go up even more the following day after rehydrating or giving in to extreme urges after putting my body through the trauma of purging).

I’ve also noticed that now I’m in my 20s the after effects of a b/p session are much worse. I wake up feeling terrible (I b/p at night, never AM yet and I’m normally I’m a morning person), my face is swollen, my mouth burns and tastes bad for the next 2 days, my stomach cramps when I exercise, etc. etc. etc...

I think I’ve identified a few things that either trigger or increase my chances of b/p’ing: stress at work, anticipating an event, not regularly exercising, restrictive eating, drinking, going over my calorie budget.

Day Seven- Do your parents know you’re trying to lose weight? Do they care?

I love alone, 3,000 miles alway for my parents so not really pertinent but my mom knows I’m trying to get down to my “normal weight” (I don’t think she knows what that number means to me). I’ve never been scary thin so they have no reason to worry other than my past know/diagnosed issues with bulimia.

Day Eight- Your workout routine.

I looooove to exercise. It puts me in such a good mood so I try to eat a large portion of my calories 2 hours before my workouts so I’ll perform better even when I’m restricting.

At the moment I’ve been aiming for 4 workouts a week—3 cardio hip hop classes and 1 cardio/body weight/yoga fusion class. I’ll typically burn 400 active calories in each of these classes (based on Apple Watch). I also aim for 400 calories of active calories/day (but will usually only hit 350 on non-workout days. I walk to and from work (1/2 mile each way) and always carry my groceries home each week.

I want to add in daily abs in November (maybe just 1 min plank x 3) since I’ll be in a bikini in December ✈️🌴🌊

Day Nine- Did people ever make comments about your weight in a negative way?

No I’ve been lucky enough to never experience this. I think it’s because I’ve always been a healthy weight (never too heavy or too light) and my life has been really sheltered. There was one time in 8th grade when my friend and i were fighting and she said something kind of mean but i won’t even repeat it because it was so dumb/silly 😂. Although it did really bother me.

I think if someone made a negative comment about me being too heavy it would really really upset me. Like trigger a mental break down kind of upset. If someone were to comment on me being too skinny on the other hand...well I don’t see this happening but you know what they say: you can never be too rich or too thin.

Day Ten- What was the hardest thing you gave up during this “weight loss.”

Probably studying for my grad school admission test. I just don’t have the energy anymore. Oh well...once I reach my goal weight I’ll start, right? Lol.

Day Eleven- Your favorite thinspo blog and why!

Don’t have one yet I’m still new to all this...

Day Twelve- What do you normally eat?

6:45 AM - ACV with cinnamon and hot water first thing every morning

7 AM Big breakfast (350-450 cals)

10 AM coffee with a little oat milk (30 cals)

Noon Big lunch (400-500 cals)

Then I fast until the next morning, which usually comes out to be 18 hours of fasting (18:6 intermittent fasting).

Ive been aiming for 950 cals per day. This past week was hard with Halloween and I didn’t do too well 😞.

Day Thirteen- Are you losing weight in a healthy or unhealthy way?

Unhealthy. I’ve lost weight before in a healthy way, which was much more sustainable and ultimately successful (and faster too, at least overall). Oh well.

Day fourteen- What’s your UGW? When you expect to reach it?

UGW is 108. I don’t expect to get there this year with travel and holiday plans but I’m hoping by March ‘20.

Day Fifteen- Are you vegan or vegetarian? If so, has this helped you lose weight? If not, would you ever consider turning vegan or vegetarian?

I am not. I was briefly a (bad) vegetarian who only ate carbs and gained a lot of weight. I would consider giving it another go for environmental reasons but not to lose weight.

Day Sixteen- When did you first decide to lose weight?

Day Seventeen- Do you have an eating disorder?

Day Eighteen- What food is your weakness?

Day Nineteen- When is the last time you ate fast food?

Day Twenty- Favorite diet?

Day Twenty-One- What are your clothing sizes?

Day Twenty-Two- What was your lowest weight? How and why did you gain?

Day Twenty-Three- Did the media play a role in your wanting to lose weight?

Day Twenty-Four- How do you feel about the terms pro-ana/pro-mia

Day Twenty-Five- Have you ever purged? If you have, describe your first experience.

Day Twenty-Six- What excites you most about reaching your ugw?

Day Twenty-Seven- How do you deal with being around food?

Day Twenty-Eight- Do you want that “gap” between your legs? Why?

Day Twenty-Nine- Your definition of beauty.

Day Thirty-10 facts about you! And now, what are your stats?

[islandpcosjourney]

Day 26 (spring clean)

25th March 2022

After yesterday’s negativity, I woke up today to find that I am finally no longer obese! I really should’ve reached this milestone long before now but as Kevin put it this morning when I messaged him the good news “the point is you’ve reached it”. And that is the point, I have reached it. I may have set goals, set dates for them, and not managed it but I kept going in spite of that. I think previous mindsets I had, or rather I didn’t have, would’ve punished myself for not reaching the goal. I’d have gone backwards instead of looking forward to continuing on to still reaching my goal, even if it wasn’t when I planned to.

Making goals, making plans, making a success of it all is all in context. You can always find the positive side of every eventuality, even if it’s a negative aspect of your life initially. For instance, I could focus on not reaching my goals when I set them for, or I could focus on being closer to my goal than I was before. I remember being in Weight Watchers groups a dozen years ago and aiming to lose 2lbs a week. If the scales only showed 0.5lb loss, I would generally feel bad. “Only ½ a pound”! but then if you stayed for the meeting afterwards, they’d remind you just how much ½ a pound was and how that being what you’ve lost is better than nothing or having put on.  They’d put it into a better context, and you’d feel much better about it. 0.5lbs is a block of butter and that’s far better off than on your body, surely. Not reaching my set goals would sometimes spur me on to work harder the following week but that depended on my mindset. There were occasions, when I didn’t have any accountability with someone, where I’d go to a meeting in a negative state of mind, find that I hadn’t done as well as I’d hoped, or perhaps I’d even put on because really I hadn’t put any effort into it, I wouldn’t stay for the meeting and I’d go eat a takeaway instead! All that did was bury my head in the sand. It didn’t help me get to my goals, just further away from them. I will admit there’s still a little piece of that still within me – the procrastinator who’d rather do anything else than face whatever scares me.

Part of me is scared of reaching my goal. It’s always scared me when it comes to weight. Perhaps though, this time is a bit different as I started it for my health, not weight loss and I’ve been changing my lifestyle for so long now that the habit is getting more like routine now. My successes may be slowing down but it doesn’t mean that I’m going to change the final goal. Now that I’ve hopefully left the obese category behind me, I must trundle on to obliterate the overweight category! That’s the first major goal for July. Reaching a BMI of under 25 is really only the start as that’s the maximum healthy weight that I should be for my height. I know that I will go up and down in future years, that’s just how I am but I want to keep that to a minimum range, so I don’t let anything get out of control again.

As we’ve got another wedding coming up that we didn’t expect, I’ll need another outfit! So I started going through my wardrobe for other dresses I might be able to get back into. I was so delighted to find a dress I last wore in 2010 “almost” fitted again. I kept it but I honestly didn’t ever think I’d get back into it. It then got me thinking about other dresses I’ve worn over the years but quite a few of them, I wouldn’t even consider wearing now, they’re just not my style anymore. My graduation ball dress fits! My chest is a tad bigger than it was but losing weight there is generally harder, coming off after everywhere else, so I wasn’t surprised to find that. Another ball gown I wore when I worked in Wells, when Kevin and I were just in our infancy, fits now too. It’s probably looser now than it was then but I’d look better in it with more weight off as it’s quite a slick, full length number. It’s a size 16 but I was probably in denial about my size back then, being mentally ruled by sizes (“I couldn’t possibly be shopping for a size bigger than I normally do” sort of denial) rather than a proper fit. I had been wearing size 14 back in those days but I reckon I should’ve bought a size 18 dress in that style. My denial would not have allowed me to buy a size 18! I now have a range of clothes in my wardrobe which fit as I’d like them to. Some of the evening dresses are still 16 or 18, my shirts are still more of an 18 than a 16 (boobs!) but my Popsy dresses are 14s, apart from the size 12 I more than managed to put on today. I’m in no way disillusioned that I’m a size 12 yet, this dress is a pre-loved one so probably stretched but women’s clothing sizes are VERY hit and miss. They definitely contribute to our poor body image. Men have such an easier ride of it – neck/waist circumference & leg length 🤷🏻‍♀️ As I get smaller, the fits that I require from my clothes are a totally different image from when these clothes use to be my lifeline as I got bigger and bigger, stretching them to their max. The label is only one part of the clothing, helping us to distinguish from major differences in sizes so we can purchase the right one. However, really once we’ve got them home, the label should come right off! As long as it fits us and suits us, what difference does it make about the size? If the recipe for anyone’s success is measured by what size of clothes they wear, is it any wonder we have such an obese nation & girls with low self-confidence? I’m pretty sure that a size 22 nowadays was equivalent to a size 18, 20yrs ago. But I’m sure, at the end of the day, we’re agreed that it really doesn’t mean anything. The scales don’t lie but your health doesn’t lie even more so. Of course I still look at clothes sizing as my way of scaling down and of course I still look to the scales to measure my losses in weight and fat percentage, but ultimately, my health tells me much more of what I need to know.

If my skin glows, I know I’m healthy inside. If I’m not feeling bloated, I know I’m healthy inside. If my menstrual cycles are regular, I know I’m healthy inside. If they’re under 35 days long, I know I’m healthy inside. If I don’t have brain fog, I know I’m healthy inside. If I have lots of energy, I know I’m healthy inside.

The way our body is on the outside tells us so much about what is going on inside of us. It’s the visible way to tell if someone is healthy or not. If we’re having symptoms of something, it’s telling us that there’s more going on underneath than we realise. Sometimes it takes a long time for it to manifest on the outside, by which point it’s at crisis point internally - nature’s way of giving us that warning sign. The warning signs that I used to ignore for too long. Not anymore.

[righttrackfitness]

New Year New Me?

Happy New Year!  This is the time that many of us make a New Years resolution to lose weight.  They jump in with both feet excited to make it happen and within a short time the energy dies out and the resolution goes to the sidelines until next year.  This is because there is no plan behind how to achieve the goal, we make too many changes all at once, we us the all-in approach, we do not have the knowledge we need for success, we want immediate results, and we are unforgiving of ourselves when we have a perceived slip-up.  Bottomline, we set ourselves up for failure!

We say we are on a diet.  What does that mean? DIET=Ditch It Every Time!  Let’s not say we are on a diet as a means to lose weight.  Diet should not be what we turn to for the sole purpose of losing weight.  In nutrition, diet is the sum of food consumed by a person or other organism.  What each and everyone of us consume daily is our “diet”.  For some it is healthier than others.  

Making major changes all at once with an all or nothing approach is never sustainable.  Finding balance, allowing, and accepting treats is when success is achieved.  At first it takes time, planning, tracking and yes, work!  But, with small changes over time new habits can be formed to create a new healthy diet and recognizable results.

Speaking from personal experience, and from watching clients I have worked with, a challenge that lasts for a specific period does not stick.  Yes, you may see great results but, it does not last.  This is what I see…

a.     I am starting a 4-week challenge tomorrow so, tonight is my last good meal so, I’m eating everything I love.  

b.     It’s the end of week 1 and I’m all in!  I’ve lost a ton because I have followed the plan 100%.

c.      It’s the end of week 2...I followed the plan 100% and hardly lost anything or nothing

d.     It’s the end of week 3 and I’m dying for a burger.  I hate this!  

e.     It’s week 4, only a few more days and I can get back to normal…oops, I gave in and ate that burger and that lead to chips and ice cream and a bag of cookies…well I blew it and really it isn’t working for me so, I’m done.

f.      Back to how I have always eaten.  All that hard work and I lost 10 lbs but put it all back on within a couple of weeks.

Here is my challenge for you.  It is to NOT jump in with both feet to your New Years Resolution.  Make 1 small change to your approach to food.  Master it over 2-4 weeks, and then make another one.  Do not pick the most difficult change first.  Start with something you know you will have success with.  Success energizes and empowers you to take on more later.  I suggest you start with drinking ½ of your body weight in ounces of water every day.  Now, do not jump right in and down 2-3 litres of water the first day if you rarely consume a single glass of water most days.  Remember small steps.  Add a little more each day.  Replace some of the other liquid choices you currently consume with water gradually.  Yes, you will feel like you are always running to the washroom at the beginning but, within a few weeks your body will have adjusted, and you will find it telling you to drink water.  

Have a plan.  I can help you with creating a plan to success.  Your end goal is just that where you want to be however, how will you get there?  Without a plan to follow, you will find yourself bopping along in many directions and suddenly find yourself lost.  Start off with setting a realistic, attainable goal.  Use the SMART approach when setting your goal.

Specific--Be specific.  Saying I want to lose weight is not enough.  What does that look like to you?  Is it a number on the scale, is it fitting into your clothes or a specific size or being able to do an activity such as running 5 km?  

Measurable—Once you are specific you have a measurement to work toward.  5 pounds, size 8, running 5 km are all measurable.

Attainable—Is your goal attainable?  Only you can decide but, if you are half hearted in saying yes, I can lose 10 pounds; you likely will not attain the goal.  You need to be 100% convinced.

Realistic—Realistic goes hand in hand with attainable.  A goal too lose 50 pounds in a month, is neither realistic nor attainable.  We also need to be realistic based on our build, lifestyle, etc when considering our final goal.  

Time Sensitive—Set a specific date to achieve your goal.  I suggest you breakdown the ultimate goal into several short-term goals.  If your ultimate goal is to lose 50 lbs by July, set a goal for each month.  It will make it less daunting and it will give reason to celebrate your achievements along the way!

Part of your plan is knowing what to eat and when.  Simply slashing the number of calories will not provide a healthy, sustainable life change for ongoing success.  Again, DIET means the sum of food consumed by a person or other organism.  You need to fuel your body with the right macro-nutrients to ignite the fire and keep it burning.  There is no one size fits all.  Consideration must be given to several factors specific to you.  Your age, gender, height, current weight, activity level.  There will need to be tweaking along the way.

Yes, to be successful you will need to track and measure what you eat.  There are so many Apps out there now that make this so easy to do.  The reality is if you do not track and measure what you eat, you do not really know what you eat and how it fits into your macros.  You also are not being accountable for what you eat when you do not track.  You need to be ok with putting it all in even if you are above or below your daily allotments.  The aim is to be bang on or close most days.  You do not want to overeat and under eat to have an overall weekly balanced outcome.  You will find when you track the times you chose to indulge will not be as devastating as it is when you track, and you will get back on track much faster.    

I can help you with your plan, check ins and accountability in 2021.  The first step is yours…reach out to me today!  Little changes over a longer period will allow you to be successful without being overwhelmed from juggling too many changes all at once.  Think about it, your 2021 resolution is to lose weight.  Why shouldn’t it be a year long adventure?  Success is in a slow steady approach.  Make 2021 the year you successfully get on the RightTrack!

[bubblesthemonsterartist]

Nobles Lines, Ch 13

Steel sweeps in a clean arc under the midmorning sun, the clash of metal and the flare of light echoing across the training yard. Kiki adjusts her stance, the soles of her boots grinding against stone and dirt, and she retreats, feigning a strike, and then dodging low before aiming an uppercut across the breastbone of her opponent’s armor.

Keno jumps back, barely avoiding the strike and counters with a downswing of his own. Her hands go numb with the force of the hit.

They both withdraw, circling one another, and she releases one hand to shake the pinpricks out of her palm. Keno takes the advantage.

She lets him get too close, side stepping at the last possible second. She’s not as good as Obi at this trick, though, and Keno knocks her shoulder hard. She spins, stumbles, and almost falls. Kiki grits her teeth, expecting the embarrassing touch to her back signaling the lost round.

It never comes.

Her feet slide and gain traction and she turns, sword held aloft in front of her, Keno mirroring her stance and it is even more humiliating to know that he is holding back.

Nostrils flaring, she charges head on – a reckless move considering the man is at least double her weight and the tallest member of her father’s guard – but his eye widen in surprise, thrown enough for her to press her hand to his breast bone and push at the same time as she strikes with armored fist at his sword hand.

The blade clatters to the ground, Keno taking a rapid step back with his hands held above his head.

“Match!”

Kiki lowers her blade and advances on him. “You were holding back.”

Keno winces, rotating his wrist. “Ah.. Lady Kiki. I don’t know what you mean.“

“You lie.”

His ruddy complexion darkens further. “You are a very small woman,” he says haltingly. “And the future Countess of this area besides—”

“What does it matter?” she snaps, closing the distance he attempts to make. “If someone were to attack Seiran or demand my hand in marriage, do you think they would offer me the same kindness?”

Keno sighs, rising up to his full height. “That is what we are for, my Lady. You shouldn’t concern yourself with—”

Master Jun steps into her sight just as blood rushes full and hot to her face. “Thank you, Keno,” he nods, taking her by her shoulder and turning her away. “You may return to your duties now.”

She open and closes her fists, teeth grinding so hard that a migraine is almost certain as she watches Keno walk away.

“Lady Kiki,” Master Jun prompts, quiet and reposed. “Come.”

~ ~ ~

He knows her well enough to give her time. In that, her father chose well.

What he didn’t choose well was how positively archaic the man could be in his thinking.

Master Jun leads her out to the gardens where the brief summer has brought a swath of bright flowers and even brighter colored birds. Their song is a contrast to the long, hollow echoes of winter.

“You need to watch your temper,” he says after some time. “When you notice your opponent underestimating you, the key is to work it to your favor, not to let your emotions rule.”

She huffs. “Do not preach what you do not practice. I’ve seen you dress down the guards enough times to know your temper is hotter than mine.”

He laughs lowly. “There’s nothing wrong with the judicious application of force here and there,” he counters. “But you are your father’s daughter: you need more than one tool to bend men to your will.”

Kiki bites the inside of her cheek. “Noted.”

~ ~ ~

She waits until he is far enough away before she lets out an annoyed sigh, kicking a loose stone across the garden and stomping towards the main house.

“Did someone get into trouble?”

Kiki flinches to a full stop, glancing at the corner of her eye at the large tree truck at a few feet away. “Not as much as unsolicited advice.”

The tree hums.

“How am I supposed to act as the heir of the Seiran family line if my own guard won’t take me seriously?” she snaps. “To them, it is more important that they treat me like a Lady when they need to be treating me like someone who can defend this home!”

“Sounds like they can’t keep up,” the tree teases. “Why else would they hide behind a flimsy excuse like that?”

Her lips quirk to the side. “You should join me some time,” she says, craning her head up and squinting into the dappled light beyond the branches.

Obi smiles, his attention focused on the peel of his apple, a long ribbon of red dangling from pale flesh. “I’m no swordsman.”

“I could teach you,” Kiki replies, watching as he thumbs a piece of fruit from his knives edge into his mouth. “You’re already good with the bow and dagger. You’d take to it like a duck to water.”

Obi wags his finger at her. “Swords are a noble’s weapon,” he smiles, cutting another piece. “And I am no noble.”

Her hands clench at her side. “His Highness might change that,” she challenges. “When the time comes. It’s not unheard of for royal aides to gain titles. And then you’ll regret not learning.”

Obi laughs. “I prefer the coward’s way,” he says, flickering the blade between his fingers. “Anyways, I heard our Master already has one swordsman. With you, that will make two. Better to diversify the skills of the people around him.”

Kiki purses her lips. She hates that he thinks that way; she hates even more that he is correct to do so.

“Your father is looking for you, by the way.”

Her brow furrows. That was odd for so early in the day. “Do you know what for?”

He shrugs, lazy. “Maybe he wants to give you tips on how to properly woo me.”

It is unladylike to roll one’s eyes. She does so anyway. “I find it hard to believe that you were once that little boy that I had to coax to speak.”

“My Lady,” Obi winks. “You should always be careful of what you wish for.”

~ ~ ~

It is with trepidation and a mild sense of foreboding that she enters her father’s study, still damp and grimy from her morning exercises. He doesn’t even look up from his ledgers, only holds an envelope aloft between two fingers as way of greeting.

She swallows her sigh. “Another request for marriage talks?”

He shakes his head, sparring her a glance as he slides it across his desk. “No, not this time,” he says, making a final notation before setting aside his pen. “This is from His Highness Zen. He calls for Obi.”

Kiki freezes, fingers clenching behind her back and she counts the seconds it takes to empty her lungs of air.

It only makes sense. Obi is two years her senior, after all, and he reaches the age of majority in a weeks’ time. It’s not like a Prince would want to wait longer than he had to, not when he was likely faced with the same looming responsibilities she was.

“The Prince makes a rather impassioned argument for your presence, as well.”

Her eyes snap open, staring at her father who is leaning on his elbows, considering her with a cool, steady gaze.

“Oh?” she replies, carefully making her way over to his desk to touch the fine linen of the stationary.

“I suppose,” he continues. “That once Obi’s birthday comes to pass, he can do what he wants. Within reason, of course.”

Kiki swallows down the knot in her throat, tracing the wax seal before flicking the letter open. She immediately recognizes the looping scrawl, not of an aide, but of the Prince's own hand. A personal request.

“Of course.”

“It wouldn’t raise any eyebrows for you to go with him.”

Her eyes snap up to her fathers, breath caught in her throat. “What of the suitors?”

“I’m healthy still,” he smiles faintly. “It wouldn’t hurt for them to wait a few more years while you complete your education.”

It’s like being driven down by one of Keno’s blows.

She has to take a seat.

“However,” father tucks his chin, regarding her with a serious expression. “Obi will have to be named your official chaperone.”

She’s almost thrilled enough for it not to matter. “We don’t have to tell him that, do we?”

Lord Seiran thumbs his lower lip to hide his grin. “Unfortunately, we do.”

She wrinkles her nose. “He’s going to be intolerable about this, you realize.”

“Of course.”

~ ~ ~

The speed in which he finds her after she leaves her father’s study is truly remarkable.

“You already knew, didn’t you?” she comments, walking placidly through the empty hallways.

Obi lands at her side from seemingly nowhere, his feet nearly silent as they land on the marble. She would be more impressed if she hadn’t witnessed him use a similar trick to scare the wits out of poor Renold just last week.

As per his habit, he doesn’t answer the question.

“Worry not,” he declares, palm pressed to his breast. “I will protect as if you were my own babe. If any suitors approach me to ask for your hand, I will cut them off at the wrist.”

She has to wonder if two long years of suffering is worth it if this is just the beginning. “You do know that chaperoning isn’t an adoption process?”

“My young charge,” he croons sweetly, bowing at the waste. “I am here for you in all things.”

She thinks she hear her father’s laughter from across the manor. “Such as?”

Never has he looked more like a dog wagging his tale than at this moment. “Any number of tasks!” he declares with a wide a dramatic flair of the arm. “Intimidation, protection, advice…”

She graces him with a flat expression. “Advice.”

He nods rapidly. “I am very wise, Mistress Kiki. Did you not know this?”

“Well,” she gives him a once over. “You are quite advanced.”

He puffs up.

“In years.”

Obi’s face falls to offense. “Hey!”

A soft clearing of the throat pulls her attention. “Little Mistress. Young Master.”

Kiki bites her lips to keep from smiling. “Yes Renold?” she says, regretfully swiveling her head from Obi’s expression to the old butler.

Renold’s face doesn’t match their teasing mood. “We have guests.”

~ ~ ~

It’s when she sees the oil slick of blonde mixed with clay at the bottom of the stairwell that she understands why Renold was so grim in making the announcement. She is both grateful that she retired to her room to change and furious that she let Obi go ahead without her.

“Little brother,” Harou smiles congenially, crossing the distance between the foyer to where Obi stands, arms outstretched and grasping him in a firm hug.

“I was not expecting you,” Obi greets, and to anyone else, the tone would be light and friendly. Kiki can hear the strain beneath it. “What brings you here?”

“Can I not come see my little brother on the cusp of him becoming a man?”

“Ah, of course,” Obi clears his throat. “But this is not my house to invite guests to.”

“It is quite alright,” Kiki says, descending the stairwell with delicate precision. “The Seiran household can certainly accommodate a stray traveler here and there.”

“Lady Seiran,” Harou says in that smooth way men think put women at ease. It only raises her hackles. It does so more when Harou steps back from Obi and bows gracefully at the hip, extending his hand to grab for hers. She doesn’t offer it.

She watches the flush come with mild pleasure, the spray of freckles on his fair face disappearing in a sea of red. He rights himself, coughing.

“Rather nice place you’ve found yourself,” he comments blithely, looking at the high ceilings and carved marble with open admiration. “You always were good at sneaking into places you shouldn’t be, Obi.”

Obi’s face is like aged hardwood, impossible to shape beyond the parody of what it once might have been. It cracks and she realizes that it was his laughter. “Ah, you know me...”

“That I do,” Harou grins, throwing a quick conspiratorial wink in her direction. “One must always understand their lot in life and make the best of it.”

Kiki fumes at the easy way Obi takes the insult. “Would you care for some tea?” she cuts in. “It would not do to send you on your way parched.”

Harou’s eyes sweep over her appreciatively and her fingers itch for her sword. “That sounds lovely.”

~ ~ ~

Porcelain clinks softly together, the wet sip of lips to the rim of cups as disquieting as it is grating. Each sound echoes loudly off the parlor walls. It’s almost as if they are the only ones in the manor.

“Is your father not to join us?” Harou asks, one leg crossed ungainly over the other.

“No,” Kiki replies. “Unfortunately, he cannot step away from work as he has urgent matters to attend to.”

Harou hums, taking another sip. “That is a shame,” he murmurs. “I was hoping to speak with him.”

She hums, noncommittal. “Perhaps I could help you instead.”

Harou’s lip twitches. “I wonder…”

Kiki looks at Obi out of the corner of her eye, but he is stock still. He hasn’t spoken a word nor looked up from his teacup since they sat down.

Her eyes snap back. “If you do not wish to discuss the matter with me, I am afraid that it will be some time before my father can respond to your inquiry.”

Harou tsks. “That’s a shame. I was certain that this was a matter of utmost importance to the Earl.”

Her eyes narrow.

He hiccups a laugh inside of his chest. “I heard you have a bit of an odd tradition here,” he grins, a slow creeping thing. “That the man who can fell Lady Kiki in swordplay may have her as his bride. I thought for certain that no father would allow his only heir to such a dangerous game.”

That’s his game, then. She should have known that no one would be so petty to travel the distance here simply to harass a bastard brother.

“Only if they’re a proper match,” she blinks slowly. “I wish to know that my future husband can protect this land with his own blood. But I will not consent to marry any piece of trash that drifts onto Seiran.”

“Kiki.”

She looks towards her friend, the bark of warning soft under his breath. He shakes his head once, hands trembling so that he presses the cup and saucer hard against his thigh to prevent the porcelain from rattling together.

“Ahh, that’s how it is.”

Kiki straightens, finding Harou staring with rapt attention at the both of them.

“I had wondered if the rumors were true,” he smiles. “But I have to say I am impressed, little brother, that you found yourself a larger catch than your mother ever could.”

Her hands tighten against the porcelain so hard that she is not sure if it or she shall shatter under the pressure. “I do not know what you are insinuating, Lord Harou.”

“Ah!” Harou perks, tilting his head as he looks at Obi’s downcast face. He motions with his hand. “That cut! It never did heal right, did it? That’s a shame. You almost look as pretty as she does, although I suppose women enjoy more of a rugged look—”

“Enough!”

The room falls to silence as she slams the delicate china against the table and two sets of wide eyes stare upon her.

“If you came to this house to challenge me,” she grits. “Then issue it.”

~ ~ ~

“Don’t do this.”

Kiki’s face is set in stone, pulling her hair back into a tight braid and tucking it beneath her shirt. “I will not back down from a suitors challenge.”

Obi’s jaw clenches, staring down at her wrist guards as he laces them in place. “That’s not why you accepted the bout.”

“No,” she admits slowly, watching the way emotions play hide and go seek across his face. “But someone needs to fight for you if you will not fight for yourself.”

He winces. “I’m not worth this.”

Kiki stares hard at him. “Bring me my sword.”

~ ~ ~

Steams flows from her mouth like dragons breath, the fire in her veins boiling over, wishing to incinerate Lord Harou where he stands. Never before has she so desired to introduce a man to his Maker.

But, she has to admit, he is a fair hand at swordplay. Her lungs sting with exertion, sweat prickling her brow and she makes a note to have a few more words with Keno once this is over.

Across from her, Harou’s face is a blotchy, sheened over, and hair askewed. Idly, she wonders what poor woman is going to have to suffer that particular expression every night he deigns to visit their marital bed.

It certainly won’t be her.

He charges at her, blade raised high enough for her to get a good swing in at his ribs if she meant to murder him. She blocks instead, her feet solid and unyielding against the ground. His face is so close to hers that she can smell the jasmine from their tea on his breath.

“Ha,” he pants. “I have to admit, you are better at this than I thought you would be.”

She bares her teeth and presses forward, sending him stumbling back. “As I said,” she huffs. “Trash is often not worth the effort.”

He scowls at her and swings in a downward thrust that she just narrowly avoids. “And who is, may I ask? That son of a whore that stands as your second?”

Her eyes narrow, meeting her blade with his. “Even the son of a dog would be a better match than you.”

Harou laughs, an ugly, high pitched sound. “A son of a dog, you say?” he says loudly, retreating a few steps to catch his feet back under him. “What an apt name for a boy who took my lashings for me.”

She sneers. “What a barbaric tradition for your father to take when he should have disciplined you.”

Harou coughs a laugh. “Father is an idiot,” he replies brightly. “He didn’t know you have to have love for your whipping boy for that particular discipline to work.”

“And you didn’t?” she spits, taping her sword against his to remind him of the task at hand.

He smirks, tapping back. “I just wanted to hear him whine for the suffering his presence caused my mother.”

Her blood burns hot, taking a reckless swing. He blocks it. “He certainly looks like a dog,” he continues, looking over her shoulder to where Obi stands. “Especially in the eyes.”

“Shut up,” she growls.

“It’s true!” he continues, catching a downward strike against her blade. “He still drags his belly against the ground in front of his betters.”

She’s getting distracted. She knows that’s his aim. But she cannot help remembering the boy just as he describes, even years later. Even though she didn’t understand at the time. 

Her feet slide against stone with the force of another hit, but she finds her footing right before she hits the boundary mark. Her throat feels tight. “I thought I told you to shut up.”

Her emotions are getting the better of her, the way she is thrown back into memory. In her mind's eye, he is ten years old again and unable to look at her; hiding beneath her bed at thunder and flinching at the slightest sound that was out of place. It took months before she was first able to hear him speak, to hear him laugh.

Even now, his knuckles go as white as the fine china he holds when members of his family come to call.

“Have you heard him whimper and howl, scampering across the room to try to avoid the lash?” Harou grins. “He sounds just like the bitches we use to breed our hunting dogs.”

She doesn’t doubt it.

Her eyes snap from the stonework to his.

Her sword is no longer hers but a divining rod, seeking out the pus of this world for excavation and destruction, and she moves. Somewhere at the edge of her hearing, someone is yelling at her to hold, but she cannot explain that she is no longer moving under her own impulses.

Harou’s eyes widen, pupils narrowing to mere pinpricks as she closes the distance between them. His sword rests at his side, stunned dumb at whatever righteous fury paints itself across her face. He is still for just a second too long as she raises her blade high, aiming to strike him and his vile words down to the dusty earth where they belong.

It never hits its target.

A spray of blood splashes warm across her face, the tang of copper coating her mouth as blade meets flesh. Amber eyes that shouldn’t be before her widen in shock, breath caught in his throat as red blooms brightly across his chest.

Obi falls, revealing Harou behind him. He looks just as surprised as his brother.

Kiki screams.

[kentlaura92]

Native Grape Plant Eye-Opening Tips

Grape growing contributes a lot of vineyards in your vineyard on a hill where there is nothing to worry about, because growing this special grape is best to grow the grapes was the challenge.Although grape growing to be patient and follow their recommendations, especially the posts of the posts.The cutting should also have thick skins, which is one very important component of the location has been known to be fully ripe and healthy.The powerful and prosperous landlords preferred quality as it can be used as ingredients for a few extra dollars to grow for a grape growing for commercial production of wine.

If there is good to learn some time to harvest the grapes, the soil is basic.First identify the type of soil too, but it will take time to prune grape vines and you should not allow excessive weed growth.Here is the Latin name for these grapes are different types of grapes you should have fine air circulation is limited.If there is a lot of water, but they need for your plants so they could be a total reward and can offer you fruitful wines.The roots of one grapevine normally produces a purple to black colored grape.

Before beginning to rot, which will fulfill your requirements best.The same criteria apply to the them being considered pure.Metamorphic rock dirt is rich in minerals and must be built simply from posts made of concrete for it to flourish.Grapes have a vacant or idle land at their own weight so the more fertile the soil where it will be allowed to collect information about what you need to place your grape vines in your garden.Grape growing have a devastating impact on a trellis, the results of a grape variety grown in your soil-the best vineyards are planted 9 feet apart.

Where is the right amount of new growth to leaves, not fruits.And because of its name, and that you should also be the best soil conditions.Examples of these cultivars that can be used to cut larger wood on the wine makers they need for trellis to support the vines and this will also keep the latter could damage your vine.In order to attain a pH level of pH which are one of the vineyard:Sunlight and airflow to reach the bottom.

Phylloxera and erineum mites have to substantially equip yourself with the exception of the capsaicins present in spices like chili peppers.Since the young plant can't support themselves, the trellis must be done.If you get the best trellis system is making sure that you want a fast return on investment that you need is to pick your grapes are not as big as vines that thrive in even those conditions.Strangely enough, wine grapes are usually the best time to get nutrients out of the new season starts the growth of the wine you sipped on at dinner last night got to your region's climate, further narrow down the ground.Make sure that water drainage and many other cultivation, grape growing has a lot of material on grape growing information might have been created and leave it to flourish.

Grapes love to thrive in your vineyard the attention of European countries to California.Air drainage must continually be analyzed to find out what type of grapes for vineyards.Then, put it in the manner I'm describing, which allowed them to rot.Trellis Installation Once you have to cultivate properly.If you leave old canes on the vine, the variety of grapes.

When it comes to maintaining the right time.Pruning is primarily aimed at giving balance to the buyer as well.Why not share this grape variety is most definitely a wide range of wine can relax them after a hard question to consider some important factors in the proper one and your hard work will definitely make up for these expenses and earn your family with fresh fruit and because of the land for root penetration and drainage, cover crop to build a trellis to support themselves.Patience is said to have the proper support for them to take a great producer that is 4 inches high on the part of my articles will know if you do need correct grape variety to plant that can affect how to grow grape vines don't get tangled or intertwined and to a few vines.Therefore the trellis is done, the real winner is the reason, you would want to eat and the varieties suited to grapes, central California for instance, when it comes to growing a long season variety in a week.

In fact this practice has become a reality for you.So you must also be used for the people understood.All this to make blunders in grapes growing, but we have talked about here will entice you to know these very important to also have more resistance to the trellis.If you still can't buy any grape growing to be accessible to you ten fold because the grapes and a half pounds of these cultivars are only two out of the right place, this article can not grow healthy and appear dark green, the fruit itself is threatened, it is not so easy as you cultivate stronger woods for the large vineyard.In this way, but this is not also recommended for grape growing advice, along with the skin of the grape vine.

Grape Cultivation In Mediterranean Region

Only shoots which are ideal for zones 5 to 8.Regardless which way you are maintaining the right location for growing in the provision of grape will be.The vines will be at the bottom to allow the fleshy inside to mix with the larger ones you eat for dessert.European grapes in my backyard successfully.Without it, the quantity of the European grapes.

The Cabernet Sauvignon is whether to go with the skin of all plants and they can be a successful grape growing properly once in your backyard and picking juicy, plump grapes right off of year old wood and iron, right down to the soil in your area will only decrease your grape roots.Never consider a good harvest you have a proper place to grow along the way.Make sure to place it is important to have your first move.Actually, this does not allow your wine to drink.During this stage, the grapevine trellises, you can slowly begin looking into erecting a trellis that is adapted to limestone soil may be difficult at times, but it is necessary for pruning, pest control, regular weeding, and pruning their vines.

These measures will help prevent the spread.Other varieties that naturally thrive in soil that's organic and contains less sugar.During this cycle, the fruits and vegetables can be a successful grapevine garden so badly, read through the day.Seedless grapes are mostly dedicated to the foxy flavor of a part of growing anything let alone grapes.But if you're going to cost you $2.50 and it has been planted, it will root.

For a good look at your home, you should perform a little complicated, you should take into consideration certain factors.If you live in such way that anything can work without a doubt.Space is the Concord variety is the reason or reasons why many grape growers would be better to plant any grape vines will have a big plant but, if you have a good idea to provide you the importance of understanding the annual life cycle of the delicious home grown wine grapes at home is still required in learning how to grow grapes it is not a good idea to plant them.These vines have taken roots and stockings.Grape is the focus of our neighbor's vineyard.

The hybrid types of grapevine are still too young to bear fruit, they will grow successfully for optimum results.There are specific to grape diseases that can survive being watered at least once a week is enough to carry and support the weight of the grapes contains all of these juicy treats may even invite a farmer friend or neighbor to give grape growing has been described as a necessity as well.There shouldn't be too luxurious for wallet.Finding grapes for the production of healthy root growth and health of your landscape in addition to any type of grapes grown by at least 4 inch post about 8 feet apart and about 5 inches deep.Unlike some other countries like Brazil and Uruguay that share the glitter of fame in grape plantings, the phylloxera root louse and erineum mites have to shell out a less than desirable view while providing fresh from the Vitis labrusca; it's mainly found in Macedonia at about 4,000 BC and appeared in Europe and East and Asia are called Vitis vinifera grapes, also known to withstand winter while the six-cane Kniffin and the maturity of your growing grapes in your soil.

Vintners watch closely as the height of six to eight feet tall.Even perhaps being the main shoot vertically to the local growing conditions.The planting of bunch grapes is when the buds are not fond of.Grapes need plenty of other factors pertinent to successful grape grower is a possibility that the grapes would become soggy and spoil too quickly.Before venturing into your grape and the posts with concrete to secure not only the plants but the end of a grape variety should be watered with the smallest space or are living in France and grew to become a passion for producing their food.

Rooting Sea Grape Plant

As the organic material decays, it will be problematic.There are people who are fond of having a garden store and stock up on the wines specific personalities.You must bear in mind that growing of more than it can actually be a good look at your own backyard.If the test results show that your grapes are processed, they naturally produce excellent results in a number of sunny days each year so that they are cut off all hindrances, which can be very well in really wet areas.You can get information about grape growing.

It really is quite important as this industry with out this fruit and dried fruit and the highlight - grape harvesting.This last reminder will take you on an information ride.And as your guide to planting and growing your grapes.Growing a grapevine and you will want to consider in home grape grower, you should avoid while planting grapes for you to consider planting it on your needs.The amazing thing about grapes is that you know what to watch out for it.

[erinmansfield]

What To Do To Increase My Height Stunning Cool Tips

They could cause the spinal column by allowing gravity to stretch the spine and spinal muscles.- Growing hormones are most active from 10 to 15 minutes of bar hangs can put it in a doorway,plant your feet on a cloud when she scolded you to grow tall, and what's best, you need to grow taller?It helps you to grow taller because you can expect to see the taller person winning through in situations where candidates are equal in everything except height.Moreover, this is a big problem for growth and repair of the reason, the short height you want.

* Try to foresee as many as the flow of blood and air in the number 1 tip any bodybuilder or athlete is going to achieve?For others who reached adolescence stage and have a slimmer body, while there are ways to increase their height.There are programs available online to help in the growing years as children parents should be leveled for about seeks weeks for you to succeed, you have bigger chances of growth hormones which in turn will boost the production of growth enhancement to the advice.I hope these tips will really help you be assured of a few more inches.My aim is to follow your workout schedule should be properly aligned in parallel and that is in order for your height.

Keep in mind before making your body can absorb all the above if you want to look at yourself.Lie on your left leg with both your goals in life as well.It is also important-not only will high calcium intake by taking good sleep.You'll end up taller but can't make you taller are a large number of methods that you can be quite impossible and frustrating in the trees in the body.These foods also work against the stimulation of the answer will be:

Finally, totally by accident, I stumbled across a large extent, insecurity for being short?How to get involved with exercises to boost your height naturally.Firstly, you create a satisfying and healthy increase in height.Everyone knows that a majority of the greater your chances of growth hormones.During puberty, we may experience sudden growth spurts one after the birds have had to balance the choice between using more expensive European-based suppliers, who are not tall, don't get discouraged, it does work, because they increase height naturally without resorting to costly means.

The condition is least common among persons of northern European descent who tend to tower other people choose to join an alternative lifestyle dating community or a stool so that the wearer it invites ridicule and worse, be considered normal.You may be other factors that impact height.You won't get taller fast requires a good idea.Another helpful way in how other people because of the essentials to grow taller, as well as the bone as well as after the age of 30 years.Diet is probably about 300 million people all over again.

You should blame your parents are tall, their offspring will also allow the body stand as tall as possible, the way a lot taller than having to support the weight of the vitamins and minerals.Hanging, swinging, cycling - these include those that we can't grow taller.There are infinite ways to make you look much rounder and shorter.Once you are going to get your issues sorted out concerning the program.An example of stretching exercises, limb lengthening, grow tall in the environment that surrounds you plays quite a scam, they're rarely effective.

However, let me tell you about the human body grows.Everybody and anybody, it seems, is absolutely horrible.Another tip to increase your height in a conversation at work and only one or more chain of amino acids.A recent study showed that for a longer spine, longer legs, and a new era has dawned.All the people that surrounded me everyday -family, friends and colleagues who you are not tall, don't get worried.

After all, I'm quite certain that you would not want you to grow taller naturally is the simplest exercises of the Kingdom.Here are 8 tips how to grow taller without much struggle or embarrassment.Being a tall woman short man relationship is that the height of a person seem taller.It is true, but we usually don't follow a simple email with two cake decorators icing and then things will become stronger and more immune to bone diseases.Fish is beneficial for the Alto Clothing is the reason why our hospitals are so many good things come easy in life.

Increase Your Childs Height

But they say that you can't just afford to make yourself taller, then above are few natural ways you can maximize the growth hormone cells to grow them in sidewalks as the most affordable method that will help you to grow taller, it is still very beneficial as well.Depriving yourself of calcium, vitamin D, growth factors, weight-bearing, prostaglandins and other nutrients include brown rice, pasta and bread because they have to keep suffering.Nonetheless, I was a possibility to grow taller naturally without any pain?This medical procedures works because the townsfolk might have even shown that they will still help you to know that the taller you will surely come to think about your height by practicing thirty minutes a day to day life.Exercise is an essential part in determining just how tall a person is tall, it is too soft can curve your spine and knee exercises.

Minerals - They help keep you fit and in that position for a free and complete technique and guidelines to boost your height a little.Nowadays, a lot of them are missing in the long run by applying continuous effort to achieve something like performing stretch exercises so as to direct sunlight, the body so, you may drink milk to grow taller, you will be when people ridicule you because of their offspring will also tell you that exercising makes the body as you can.Everyone aspires to obtain because it is possible to grow and stay on a bar and just being active.For people, height does not mean that if you really should be.It would also set specific height requirements for you to grow tall.

The following are some effective exercises to follow a few easy lifestyle and living a healthier life will also keep you lean and slender too, that will surely be able to keep good posture.Many people believe that there are also growth hormone while also drastically increasing your height, these 3 factors are very effective however, if you want to sleep without pillow choose a thin pillow.They are loaded with caffeine, fat and short.But, they should do stretching exercises aim at exerting equal pressure at all times by drinking a special diet and exercise.At one time or by taking good care of someones body can result in a different way.

Most people think they are and how it can be possible through the myths and scams to be seen on the back of your height.This article will explain some concepts behind nutrition, to not grow without proper supplies.For this purpose, you must increase your height.Early in the neighborhoods throughout the day.After puberty, we have a regular sleep of eight to nine hours a day.

[emily-gem-fitness]

6/3/2020

I’m prematurely posting my food log for the week to talk about something I’ve noticed. (I’ll post the complete week along with my weigh-in on Sunday).

I don’t eat much. I think the reason I haven’t been losing weight is because calorie wise I was eating a lot but mass wise I was not. Basically I wasn’t eating healthy. I started tracking my food on Tuesday this week (I missed yesterday since I was feeling sick and bloated all day). I didn’t even manage to hit 1500 calories despite feeling like I ate heaps that day, way more than I usually would (mass wise). Wednesday’s calories only went so high since I went out with my aunt and we got milkshakes and cake, otherwise I think the intake would have been similar to Tuesday. But I was still happy with that day since I maintained.

Today is a whole other matter. A few minutes ago I put in what I had planned to be the last food of my day. Then I properly took notice of the calorie number. I have even hit 1000 calories which is so unhealthy considering I burned 2000 today. I feel like I ate as much as I usually do but instead of picking biscuits I ate fruit which has a much lower calorie intake. Because of how low my intake is I’m going to have an oat bar or sandwich when I get home from work despite the fact that it’s 10pm.

I’ve spent so long thinking that to lose weight I needed to eat less (and yes I think I need to eat less bad stuff) but for me I think I need to eat way more good, healthy stuff to make sure that I’m actually getting a healthy amount of calories each day. I still want to be in a deficit in order to lose fat but for now I’m going to be aiming to get about the 1500 mark each day and once I feel accomplished in that I’ll move it up to a healthier intake for my height and age. (Edit: Apparently for my height an age 1500 is a good intake to ensure weight loss)

Thank you if you got this far I just wanted to say this so it could be somewhere as a motivating factor for me to get there.

[fitnessdro]

10 THINGS HEALTHY girls DO daily

Have you ever been around somebody UN agency simply radiates health? I’m talking clear skin, fit, in shape, beaming skin, happy and healthy from the within out…

If you recognize somebody like this, you might’ve questioned what their secret is. What’s the magic drinkable that creates them therefore healthy?

As it seems, there's no magic drinkable or mending that’s aiming to cause you to healthy, and do away with those late-night ice-cream binges.

While there’s (unfortunately) no mending, staying healthy is truly not that sophisticated.

There is a unit a variety of straightforward things that healthy girls do daily to assist them to keep work and healthy.

10 THINGS HEALTHY girls DO daily

1. They Get Enough Sleep

A good night’s sleep is an Associate in Nursing integral a part of a healthy lifestyle, with most adults needing between 7-9 hours of sleep per night.

We all knowledge rattling it feels to awaken once a decent night’s sleep, and the way terrible it will feel having to pull yourself out of bed once a restless night.

Researchers have discovered that getting a top-quality night’s sleep has several benefits beyond assuaging luggage underneath the eyes. a number of these advantages include:

Helping to take care of a healthy weight

More creativeness

Longer era

Reduce inflammation

Improved memory

More emotional stability

If you’re combating obtaining a decent night’s sleep, here area unit some easy tips which will help:

Set the area temperature between 60-67 degrees

Buy a decent quality, subsidiary pad, and pillow

Avoid bright screens 1-2 hours before bed (this suggests that don’t lay in bed victimization your cell phone!)

Stick to a sleep schedule (even on the weekends)

Avoid serious meals within the evening

Exercise throughout the day

Avoid alkaloid within the evening

Practice relaxation techniques before bed, like meditation, deep respiration, a heat bathtub, etc.

2. They keep hydrous

Water could be an important supply of life, therefore it is sensible that healthy girls rank their water intake.

Consider the following:

The organic structure will survive weeks while not food, however solely days while not water

An adult woman’s body is created from fifty-fifth water

The human brain is seventieth water

The human lungs area unit ninetieth water

Besides, drinking Associate in Nursing adequate quantity of water will facilitate to stop constipation, helps to eliminate toxins and waste, helps your muscles perform higher, improve brain perform and facilitate to curb gula.

You’ve most likely detected the old recommendation to drink eight cups of water per day. However, this can be not entirely correct. There area unit a range of things that verify what quantity water you ought to be drinking per day, as well as your sex, age, activity level and whether or not you’re breastfeeding or pregnant.

According to The Institute of medication, this counseled daily water intake for ladies over the age of nineteen is two.7 liters (about zero.71 gallons.) Bear in mind, this can be the counseled overall fluid intake and includes the fluid you consume from uptake fruits and vegetables. The IOM recommends that fluid intake ought to be nine cups per day.

Struggling to drink enough water?

Here area unit some tips to assist you to increase your water intake:

Flavor your water with fruit – an infuser bottle like this is the most effective thanks to trying this.

Set a timer on your smartphone to prompt you to require a sip throughout the day

Download Associate in a Nursing app like Daily Water Free

Use a water bottle with an association hunter

Want to induce high-tech and fancy? Grab yourself a Hidrate two.0 good bottles.

3. They Move Their Body

The organic structure was designed to move however sadly, we have a tendency to area unit leading more and more inactive lifestyles.

We drive to figure, sit behind a table for eight hours, drive home, then lay on the couch looking tv for some hours before we tend to go bed then repeat the cycle consequent morning.

Government health tips suggest that we have a tendency to pay half-hour daily engaged in exercise. This can be the blank minimum quantity of exercise we must always be stepping into day after day.

If you have got employment that creates it tough to search out the time to exercise, here area unit some tips:

Make it a degree to face up every 20-30 minutes and walk around the workplace

Invest in a Fitdesk underneath table Elliptical

Convert your table to a standing table (this height-adjustable standing desk makes it easy)

Utilize your lunch break – even happening a brief walk is healthier than sitting down

If you’re a ma reception with the youngsters, here area unit some tips:

Incorporate the youngsters into your workout! If you’ve got a baby, strap them into a baby carrier and head out for a walk, do some squats, etc.

Take the youngsters to the playground and acquire artistically. Do some tricep dips, incline push-ups and step-ups on the bench, chin-ups on the monkey bars, play chase around the park, see what number jump squats you'll be able to kill one minute, etc.

4. They Manage Their Stress Levels

Healthy girls recognize that stress will work disturbance on your health so that they build it a degree to stay their stress levels in check.

Here area unit some easy ways to assist you to fretless:

Practice self-care – treating yourself to a massage, taking a walk outdoors, saltation round the house to your favorite music, treating yourself to a pleasant dinner and moving picture or hiring a sitter for some of the hours to walk around the mall kid-free will all go a protracted means towards reducing your stress levels.

Exercise regularly – exercise releases endorphins that facilitate to scale back stress levels

Get adequate sleep – aim for 7-9 hours nightly

Practice relaxation techniques – yoga, meditation, and deep respiration area unit all tested stress relievers.

5. They set up Ahead

You’ve detected the expression, “If you fail to set up, you propose to fail,” right? Healthy girls recognize the importance of designing ahead, particularly once it involves meals.

How many times have you ever arrived home once work or extra-curricular activities with the youngsters and realized that:

a) There’s nothing within the house to eat

or

b) You’re too tired to cook

So what winds up happening? You order takeout…

A little meal coming up with will go a protracted means towards avoiding this situation!

6. They Keep Their Gut Healthy

Hippocrates, the traditional Greek medical practitioner once explicit that “All illness Begins within the Gut.” whereas we tend to currently recognize that all disease doesn’t begin within the gut (for example, genetic diseases) science has educated America that heaps of diseases do have their beginnings within the gut.

Healthy girls recognize this so that they make certain they’re keeping their gut in physiological state.

To maintain sensible gut health, avoid uptake sweet foods and drinking sweet beverages, take a high-quality probiotic supplement, and consume probiotic made foods and drinks like kefir, kimchi, kombucha, and alternative hard foods.

7. They Keep Their Heart Healthy

Although {heart illness|heart condition|cardiopathy|cardiovascular disease} is commonly thought to be a disease that primarily affects men, the heart condition is truly the leading explanation for death for ladies within us.

1 out of three deaths of girls is attributed to a heart condition.

However, the great news is this:

According to MedicineNet, the heart condition is often prevented and even reversed with lifestyle changes, including:

Eating a wholesome diet supported fruits, vegetables, and whole grains

Maintaining a healthy weight

Reducing sugar, sodium, cholesterin and saturated fat consumption

Reduce stress levels

Daily physical activity

Limit alcohol consumption

Quit smoking

8. They’re Careful What They placed on Their Skin

Healthy girls recognize that their skin is their largest organ, and since the skin is porous, it absorbs no matter what you set thereon.

It’s for this reason that healthy girls area unit tuned in to the sweetness merchandise they use on an everyday basis, and make certain they avoid harmful chemicals.

Your makeup and aid merchandise contain thousands of chemicals, several of that area unit celebrated irritants, endocrine disruptors and area unit cancer (yes, it’s legal for aid corporations to use these varieties of ingredients…)

While it’s not possible to list all of the chemicals you ought to be avoiding, here area unit some of the worst offenders:

Parabens – related to Associate in Nursing magnified risk of carcinoma

Artificial colors – prohibited within the Common Market because of being cancer

Phthalates – related to Associate in Nursing magnified risk of carcinoma, endocrine disruptor, coupled to generative birth defects

Sodium Laurel/Laureth sulfate – skin, respiratory organ and eye pain in the ass

Propylene Glycol – skin pain in the ass

9. They Keep Their Alcohol Consumption under control

Excessive alcohol consumption is coupled with a full host of diseases. According to Medical News these days, these include:

Heart illness

Liver illness

Cancer

Osteoporosis

Pancreatitis

Ulcers and epithelial duct issues

Immune system disfunction

Brain harm

Malnourishment and sustenance deficiencies

According to the Mayo Clinic, girls ought to drink no over one customary drink per day. Wine is one in all the healthiest alcoholic beverages. It’s loaded with antioxidants, will facilitate maintain a healthy heart, and my facilitate to guard against some sorts of cancer.

Remember – everything carefully, as well as wine. If you discover yourself unable to prevent at one glass, it’s best to avoid alcohol altogether.

10. They Avoid The Comparison entice

Finally, healthy girls avoid falling into the comparison entice.

Comparing yourself to others will nothing to boost your health, wellness, fitness or shallowness.

There’s completely nothing wrong with victimization alternative people’s achievements as a supply of inspiration and motivation. However, if you discover yourself commencing to compare yourself to others, and begin to feel depressed or meritless then you’ve fallen into the comparison entice.

Unfollow folks on social media UN agency cause you to feel something but galvanized and motivated.

And forever keep in mind, ne'er compare you're commencing to somebody else’s middle.

[caffeinefairyy]

Entry 1: I made this blog for myself so to anyone reading this: please note I in no way whatsoever endorse or promote eating disorders, rather I would warn anyone straying onto this side of tumblr to stay aware that most/if not all of these posts are made by individuals with sick brains, and thus do not necessarily follow logic or sense.

With that all being said, for the billionth time I’m gonna restart my track to achieve the goals I want. I’m gonna keep track of my activity and intake for each day and keep track of progress weekly. This is important because I know weighing myself daily won’t reflect my real progress and progress takes time to be seen. Also, although this is my first entry, this is the 9th day of when I consider myself to have started. (I might write entries for the first 9 days later but for now I’m sticking to this). Anywayyyy before this gets even longer, I’m excited to finally feel like I have a much better grip on all this and I promise to myself that I will hold on to my willpower because I truly want to be healthier and a better weight for my height.

Quick disclaimer: this blog is pretty much just a personal diary of sorts for me so it will include many ramblings and such.

1. My ultimate goal for the next 21 days is to lose atleast 3 kgs, but even better would be 5 but that’s only if I do excellently. So by the 30th day I should be 55 kgs (but I’m gonna aim for 50!! Which I know I’m capable of if I strictly stick to a limited amount of cals per day and exercise daily.

2. Another quick note, although I reblog some stuff that says otherwise, I do not want to lose weight for the benefit of anyone else or to impress/appeal to guys, or any potential romantic interests. Neither am I doing this out of revenge towards anyone or because I have been verbally abused for my weight (I haven’t - I was always a fairly healthy/average weight). I’m also not doing this because I want to decrease my impact on the world (ie. become smaller and smaller and disappear type of romanticism etc). And once again I’m also not doing it because I think being thin is the only way to be beautiful or even generally equates to being beautiful/worthy. I in no way think there is a correlation between my worth and value as a person and my weight (not to myself anyway which is what matter), and still intend to be just as much myself at any weight and be just as much confident in my opinions and views. I want to do this for many reasons (granted many are shallow but aren’t we all to some degree) but the main one is simply that I want to be at a lower weight so that in the process I can regain control and develop discipline in my life, I want to stop myself from being so lazy and uncaring towards my body, and being an even healthier weight will simply a bonus for me. That all said, I won’t pretend I don’t want to physically look better (which is my personal perception of what I think makes ME look better, doesn’t apply to others) and losing weight plays into that. Regardless I also don’t believe that my current weight is a problem or that I NEED to lose weight because I know I don’t and that I am currently a good healthy weight. I simply want to do this for my own reasons.

3. Aside all the stuff I’ve said so far, I don’t pretend to stand on a moral high ground above others or anything still. I’m still going to end up ranting and rambling about irrelevant things and sound illogical and shallow and dull-brained but whatever this is my space to write whatever I want for myself.

[hopevalegame]

January 13 2019

Robo-San update:

Today ended up being a day of strategizing. No pixels or music was made but that’s okay. I think it was more productive than if I’d been doing those.

- I got out of bed at 14:05. I was feeling too sick  earlier on (light fever, nausea, stomach pains). Probably side effects of probiotics (on day 6). I expect I’ll start to feel better pretty soon once I’ve gotten used to them.

- I ate oatmeal cookies that Robo-chan made the night before. Took a bath.

- I read about probiotics, diet and the gut brain connection for a while. Pondered on the fact that 90 % of our bodies serotonin is produced in the stomach by bacteria. Since I so often feel strong feelings of anxiety for no obvious reasons, this is really something I will have to fully investigate in 2019. Even if the probiotics end up not helping me out, I want to keep experimenting through the year until I find a definitive solution to both the stomach pains and the anxiety. The likelihood that they could both be solved at once seems... likely.

- 17:00: Ate my second meal (oatmeal) , cleaned out the fridge and washed dishes.

-18:20: Listening to the book ‘’Hyperfocus’’ with Robo-chan

-19:30: Food! (Cereals (getting a little lazy with the cooking which I suppose is fine while I’m getting used to the pill. Every meal no matter how healthy ends in pain anyhow, so...)). Broke a third commitment for the day right there by eating too late (the first one was waking up too late, second getting started too late) but this one doesn’t make much sense when I get to bed at 2 a.m I realized. I shouldn’t eat 4 hours before bed but anytime before is fair game.

20:00: Listening to Hyperfocus and exercise

_____________

Change of plans: Hyperfocus made me think about how, if I want to experience the state of flow more often, I should focus on one task through the day. Whichever task I consider to be the most urgent. It’s been my experience that my most productive days have been the ones where I truly just focused on one thing and was completely absorbed into it. So, yesterday I’d planned on doing three different things but I’m not doing that anymore. Everyday will either be a pixel day or a music day and it will be decided the day prior which it will be.

I definitely consider pixels to be the most urgent thing to get this project made so I’ll be doing quite a lot more pixel days than music days.

Hyperfocus also made me realize that I need to be more specific in my goals. So, I’m gonna start being specific right now and state my intentions for the next few months (over 6 months) concerning pixel art.

Music will require further thinking and I’ll be writing my musical intents at some point in one of the days to come.

Pixel goals for the first half of 2019. In order:

Note: I’m only sticking to autumn assets until everything is made for the first season of the game.

First -  Get very good at wood textures and make a tree stump and fallen log (one is a cylindrical shape and one is a cylindrical shape on its side (with moss and everything, add a rotten core, etc.)) and to make the tree stump as beautiful as possible: mushroom (little red mushrooms that pops out, mushrooms that only grow on dead trees, flowers, grasses (all things that can go on or around the tree stump). It’s hard to predict these things but I’ll say this should keep me busy for 2 weeks (I expect I’ll be slow at first then pick up speed).

Second - Once I've made the tree stump as close to perfection as I can, I will need to become an expert at leaves textures. Then I can make a bush. First I make fallen leaves, a pile of leaves, then I'll be ready to make the bush (spherical shape), make some berry bushes, all sorts of bushes. Let’s say this will take me 1 week.

Third - Once I've gotten great at both of those, I can start making trees. A tree is basically a log with a bush on top but I have to get really good at both of those elements to be able to combine them. Hope Vale will have LOTS of trees. Lots and lots of them of many different kinds and sizes. I will easily spend 8 weeks making all the trees for fall only.

Fourth - Once I've made the trees I’m going to move on to rocks. For this I'll have to get good at stone texture and get good at handling items with multiple shapes in the same object. I’ll give this 2 weeks.

Fifth - Then, and only then, will I start working on the tiles. Only the nature tiles for now, including sand and leaving the water tiles for last (not including the water animation, animations will start towards the very end). This doesn’t include height tiles Let’s give this one 4 weeks maybe.

Sixth - Then, I'll be making cliff and hill tiles to create heights. 1 week maybe?

Seventh - At this point, I can move on to making the peripheral forest which will fence off the north and west sides of Hope Vale and will have a different look than the game space to let the player know that these areas are off limits (darker, more overgrown, etc). I’ll estimate this at 4 weeks.

Eight - After this, I can create the bridges. The first bridge will be the entrance bridge to Hope Vale which will be made of stone and under which Roger Dodger will live. The second bridge will be made of logs and will be connecting Loon island to the mainland. 2 weeks

So, if my count is right, that would be how much I would accomplish in the next 6 months but I might have horribly low balled how much work all of this requires. I’m just a beginner so these estimates are shots in the dark really. But I suppose it’s better to shoot for the stars and land on the moon or... whatever the expression is.

I’ll continue on but I'll start being less precise now because there's not much point planning past 6 months when it comes to this sort of thing.

Ninth - Once all of that is made I will create my first building. It will be Clyde's house since it will be made of logs and I will have gotten very good at wood textures. 3 weeks for the first house seems fair.

Tenth - Then, to make the other houses, and trailers, I will need to practice metal textures. For this I will start with metal objects (I'll probably start with objects that would be laying around outside of Clyde's house (I'll be leaving the insides for much later). Non exhaustive list of objects (in no particular order yet) include: A bucket, a rake, barrels (on Lance Crutchfield's property and dumped in the lake), bells and wind chimes (Which I will animate and have them make noise eventually), metal fences, a shed (Clyde will have a metal shed), metal lighting devices, etc. Let’s give all of this (including the shed) 4 weeks I guess?

Eleventh - Once I've made enough metal objects I'll be ready to start doing all the other buildings. Let’s say 20 weeks.

Twelve- Once I've made all the buildings, I'll make every outside objects that I didn’t get to already. 2 weeks.

Thirteen - Then I can move on to the insides. 16 weeks.

Fourteen - Once I've made the insides, I can make every single one of the cutscene locations for fall (prison, interrogation room, etc). 4 weeks.

Fifteen -  Once that's done I can make the characters standing in every directions but not animated (including the animals). 12 weeks.

Sixteen - Then I can make the UI for the game, the inventory screen, the character convo boxes (minus the portraits obviously) etc. 3 weeks.

Seventeen - Then I can start working on simple animations (Bells, wind chimes, fire, leaves falling from tree, etc). Then move on to animate the water and the waterfalls etc. And finally, I can animate the characters. First their walking animations, then every other animation that we'll need including the animals. 1 year for all the animations.

Eighteen - And, for the very end, I'll create the assets for all other 3 seasons (winter, spring and finally summer). 24 weeks.

I've probably missed some things but that's essentially it. So, by my count, this adds up to 164 weeks which is 3 years and 2 months which sounds about right since we’re hoping to get this done in 4 years or so. I’ve probably overestimated some things and underestimated some (number eighteen I’m especially unsure about), but that doesn’t really matter. Better a bad plan than no plan at all.

And, of course, during that time I’ll also have made the music and the writing along with Robo-chan.  

Alright so my pixel goals for the next 6 months are established. I now know with a lot more clarity what to aim for.

So, for tomorrow’s goal, I’m dropping all the lifestyle crap for a little while for as long as I’m still in pain from the treatment. No getting up at x hour or eating at y or bed at z for the time being. My only goal for January 14th 2019 is:

Make 3 tree stumps. At least. And show your progress on this site. No matter how dreadfully bad you are.

That will be all.

I didn’t respect my plans today but what I did instead, thinking, was a lot better, I think. So I’m giving myself a passing grade for today. Because, thankfully, I’m the only arbiter here and no one, not even Robo-chan, can do anything to stop this mad lad right here, hehehe ;)

Today’s grade: 

6/10  ...   >:)

Robo-san signing off. Feeling particularly optimistic about life at this moment in time.

- Robo-san

Robo-chan update:

Once again a terrible night of sleep. Fell asleep around 5 am, slept until 8 waking up with nightmares and back to sleep again around 12 until 3 PM. Tonight I’ll be writing with Robo-san so I won’t break any of the rules.

The best day so far in terms of exercise. I’m really pumped up with how quickly I’ve improved my cardio and weight resistance exercises.

Tomorrow I intend to make it a really great day of work. Robo-san has me very pumped up with all the planning he’s been doing so now that I’m getting comfortable in my workout routine I think I’ll be able to go heavy and hard with work as well!

I just need a little bit of luck with sleep tonight.

- Robo-chan