#I’m not having birthday shit held over my head again that shit hurts even if you’re ‘joking’

[whimsyprinx]

If I tell my household I don’t want to do anything for my birthday they’ll get upset and interrogate me and I don’t know how to explain to them I simply don’t want them to do anything for my birthday because I don’t want it held over my head another year and that nothing they could do would make it a happy birthday

[bunnie-online]

nobody's son, nobody's daughter {A.S.}

getting into an argument with ani & your parental issues are brought up

warnings: NO SEXUALLY EXPLICIT CONTENT BUT MY BLOG IS 18+ ONLY. hurt/comfort, parental issues lol, crying, Anakin is lowkey mean i’m sorry ✋🏽😔, not accurate SW lore, one use of ‘y/n’, d3ath mention.

Anakin was so done with today. it was friday afternoon and he had just endured 8 hours of training and then a 2 hour meeting with the Jedi Council where he was scolded for a rash decision he made on his most recent mission. to say Anakin was frustrated was the understatement of the century.

you weren’t having a great day either, it was your fathers birthday. he had left you and your mother to start a new family when you were in your early teens. shortly after that your mother spiraled into depression and had tossed you out. you escaped to Coruscant and happened to be found by Master Windu who took you under his wing.

the weeks of what used to be important family events were always difficult. especially birthdays. you couldn’t wait to curl up into your boyfriend’s arms and feel the weight of the day melt away.

Anakin made his way to your quarters, wanting to do the same. his walk was all a blur until he reached your door. Anakin walked into your apartment ready to collapse into you. he found you curled up on the couch, looking forlorn.

“hey, angel. what’s wrong?” his voice soft and obviously sullen. you lift your head, your face tear stained. “oh it’s just my dads birthday..” you trail off. Anakin sighed. “oh that again.” he sounded slightly annoyed.

granted you’ve been sulking about this all week, but you had a right to. you missed normalcy, you missed coming home from school on your father’s birthday and giving him handmade cards you crafted so carefully. you missed the delicious birthday dinner your mother made and hiding his gifts behind your back, making him guess what it was. you missed sitting on his lap and helping him blow out his candles after singing to him loudly and in between giggles. it sickens you to think about his new children doing all of those things you thought we sacred to him, just as they were to you.

“what does that mean?” you ask, getting defensive. “nothing, angel.” he corrected his tone, realizing what he had done. “no. what did you mean by that?” you doubled down, standing up and walking closer to him. “again? again?! oh i’m sorry that i’m mourning my family.” you cross your arms over your chest, rolling your eyes.

Anakin scoffs. ��you have to be kidding. it just slipped out i didn’t even mean it like that.” he steps closer to you. “obviously you meant something, Anakin. you wouldn’t have said anything otherwise.” your eyes threw daggers into his. “angel, can we just drop it? i had a long day i just wanna relax.” he reaches his hand out to touch your arm. you pull back harshly. “darling, come on.”

“no! you have the audacity to tell me to ignore a comment like that?! really?!” your voice gaining volume. Anakin pressed his palm against his forehead, his anger building. “love, i didn’t even mea-“ he starts. “don’t even try to throw that shit at me again.” you interrupt him.

“you aren’t the only one without parents, y/n!!” he yells. you jump back. Anakin had never yelled at you before. “i held my mother as she passed away after not seeing her for ten. years! you aren’t the only one mourning!”

you were too shocked to speak, but your face said everything. after what felt like an eternity, Anakin’s face softened, he realized what had came out of his mouth. “angel…baby…i am- i am so sor-.” “don’t.” you interrupt him again. “i know- i know i’m not the only one mourning. i know you don’t have parents either but i still supported you. i held you after every nightmare, flashback, anxiety attack, everything. i still do.” your voice cracked often as you choked down tears.

“if you were annoyed with my sulking, you could’ve shut it out like you do to me every time something bothers you.” you started walking past him, he tried to grab you by your bicep. “get the fuck away from me, Anakin.” you state coldly, his eyes widen. you’ve never spoken to him in that way. you push past him and walk out of your own apartment.

Anakin stood there, not only shocked at your actions but also his. he’s always been so caring not matter how his day went, he always held space for you. and you held space for him. the tears welling up in his eyes finally spilt over, his usually stoic face contorted as he cried.

you stormed out to the garden, finding a bench in a secluded area. you sat there and cried for what seemed like forever. you cried until your head throbbed and your lungs were sore.

Anakin had to make this right, he couldn’t leave you like this. the sound of leaves crunching behind you nearly scared you out of your skin.

Anakin placed a blanket over your shoulders before sitting down next to you. “angel. i am so sorry. truly. this week was exhausting and i have no right to take it out on you.” he wraps one of his arms around you and you melt into his warmth. “i forgive you, Ani. and i’m sorry too. i know you’re also grappling with your own feelings. i never meant to appear selfish.”

“i love you, my angel.” his plants a kiss on your temple. “i love you too, Ani.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

this was my first time writing hurt/comfort pls don’t bully meeee

~bunnie

[and-claudia]

Against All Odds pt.4 (Joel Miller x fem! reader)

Time skip

WARNINGS: ANGST!!!!!! Mentions of abortions, arguing

General Warnings for later on: The main story will have an age gap between Joel and the reader (Reader will be 25 once we get to the main storyline), this will also be your warning that it will eventually be an x pregnant reader (if that's not your jam, I'm sorry) there is also going to be more graphic/trigger parts later on so please always to be sure to read the warnings BEFORE reading. This story will also be 18+ and TO BE ON THE TAGLIST YOU CAN NOT BE AN AGELESS BLOG (i do actually check that) also there first hand full of parts are all prologue so Joel won't actually be in it for a bit

Wordcount: 4200+ (I am so sorry it's so long)

Taglist Sign-Up (read my rules carefully before filling it out)

It’s crazy how three years of being happy and in love can come shattering to the ground with a two-word sentence. 

“I’m pregnant.” The words seemed to be echoing in the small living room of my and Joel’s apartment. 

He stood there. His expression was unreadable. I was debating on if I should repeat myself or just wait it out. I chose the latter. It felt like time had slowed as I stared back at him waiting anxiously. At this point, I would be happy if he would even just yell at me to get out. Anything seemed better than this deafening silence I was being forced to endure. 

A heavy sigh. 

Okay, good. We’re getting somewhere. 

Then he turned and began pacing, running his fingers up through his hair, then wiping his hands down his face as he tried to process what I had said. I stayed quiet. 

“How? How did this even happen? We’re always so careful.” He said. 

“I mean not every time. Ther-” 

“No. I’ve been careful. I know damn well I have been. Maybe you haven’t.” He cut me off with his suggestion. 

“I know you’re not implying that I’ve cheated on you, Joel.” I said, clearly hurt, “There have been plenty of times where we weren’t. I mean hell if I had to guess this probably happened on my birthday. We definitely were not careful then. So don’t you dare try to accuse me of cheating.” 

I felt a wave of relief when he stepped forward and pulled me to him. I hadn’t realized that tears had begun falling from my eyes until I could see them staining his shirt. 

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I’m sorry, ‘m just shocked. It’s okay. Don’t worry, we’ll get it taken care of.”

His words made me pull back but not completely out of his arms, “What do you mean?” 

“We can get you an abortion pill, I know they still have those. We’ll get one and take care of this.” He explained. 

“No…” I shook my head, “I don’t want to do that Joel… I mean I know this wasn’t planned but I’m honestly kinda excited about having our own little family.” I admitted. 

“Sweetheart… I just, I can’t do this again. It’s been so long since I’ve been around small kids, let alone a baby. Shit, it’s been 30 years since I’ve held a baby probably, longer than you’ve been alive.” 

That made me step away from him. At first, I thought he meant he couldn’t do this again because of what happened to his daughter. I wouldn’t blame him for that at all. He hadn’t talked about her again in the three years we’d been together, not unless he was waking up from a nightmare. 

“So you don’t want this baby because you don’t want to have to start over again?” I asked, disgusted for even thinking that was going to be his reasoning. 

“I mean it’s just been so long since I’ve done this.” 

“Okay, so? I’ve never done this, hell, Joel, I’ve never even actually held a baby! I am 25 years old and I’ve never held a baby let alone raised one! I was also the youngest in my family so I know literally nothing about raising a kid. That doesn’t mean that I don’t want this baby any less.” 

He reverted to silence once again. I couldn’t take it. I needed to get out of here. 

“You know what? It’s Wednesday, I was supposed to go to the market earlier… I am going to go now. Do whatever the fuck you want to here. Pack your shit, hell pack my shit, kick me out. I don’t care.” I said, walking over to the kitchen counter to grab my bag and the money we set aside for food at the market. 

“Take your gun.” He called to me. 

“I am.” I snapped as I grabbed it and tucked it into the top of my jeans before letting my shirt cover it. 

When I got to the market there weren’t that many people there thank goodness. I went over to the vendor that always has potatoes and was surprised to see that he still had most of his produce there considering it was pretty late in the day.

“Not selling this week?” I asked as I walked up. 

“Nope. Not at this price.” He said, clearly not happy. 

“I’m sorry. Give it a week though, they will be coming back next week when they realize how much they need them.” I tried to reassure him. 

“Let’s hope. Here is your bag.” He said, reaching down to grab the bag he stashed for Joel and me. 

We’ve helped him out with various things and this was how he paid us for it. I finished getting a few other things but took my time heading back to the apartment. When I got there, Joel was passed out on the couch. When I went to set my stuff down on the table I wasn’t too surprised to find the decanter of homemade moonshine half empty again, nor was it a shocker that there was a baggie with a couple of pills left in it. I just sighed and grabbed them both to put them away. When I came and saw what else was left out I was a little confused. Joel had gotten the maps out of their hiding place in the floor. I decided it wasn’t worth my time asking about now, not that I’d be able to wake him up anyways. Ever since his brother went radio silence on him he’s been a wreck. Instead, I put away the food I had gotten at the market and decided to just go to bed. 

The next morning when I woke up I heard two voices and I didn’t even have to guess who it was. I knew it was Tess. I quietly made my way over to the closed door, careful not to make my presence known just yet, and listened. 

“Trucks no good without the battery. And if I don’t get to Tommy soon, he’ll die out there.” I heard Joel say. 

What? Joel hadn’t mentioned anything about going to find Tommy. I continued to listen. From what I gathered this had been in the works for at least a little bit. They had a battery lined up for them but got screwed over. 

“We’ll get our money back and get the battery.” I heard Tess say to him. 

I finally opened the door making them turn their attention to the sound. They both froze when they saw me. 

“You’re leaving, together?” I asked. 

“Shit.” He mumbled. 

I turned around and slammed the door. I was beyond hurt. He wasn’t even going to tell me. I needed to clear my head, so I quickly got dressed then went over to the window before climbing out onto the fire escape. 

I wasn’t sure how long it had been but I continued to sit out there cross-legged. No tears fell, I didn’t have the energy for that, I just simply sat there thinking. Eventually, I heard the window slide open behind me but made no attempt to look at him. 

"Yn, come inside. You know it's not safe on that thing." He said gently. 

"Oh. So suddenly he cares." I said bitterly, “Thought you would have already left by now.” 

"Yn, I've always cared about you, always will." He said. 

"Bullshit." 

He sighed. I could hear him getting up and sitting back down on the windowsill. He didn't say a word after that. We stayed in silence for a few minutes before I spoke up again. 

"I thought my age didn't mean anything to you. I thought it never mattered that I was only 25." I said. 

"It doesn't." He said. 

"You're such a fucking liar, Joel... you told me that you couldn't do this again. That it had been over 30 years since you held a baby since you've raised a newborn. 30 years, longer than I've even been alive. Clearly, subconsciously my age has been an issue for you." I said finally turning to see him hanging his head down. 

He didn't speak up again. 

“We’re you going to tell me?” I asked referring to his plan to go find Tommy. 

“I was.” 

“When?” 

“Last night, but then you blindsided me with-” 

“I did not blindside you. I wasn’t expecting this either… so does this mean we’re done?” 

“I don’t know, like I said I can’t do this again. I think we just need to sit down and have a serious conversation about it all. Maybe this trip will give us both the time to think everything through and we can talk about it when I get back.” He suggested. 

“When you get back?... I’m goin' with y’all.” 

“Yn, no, you can’t.” 

“Why?” 

“You’re pregnant, you don’t need to be traveling all the way to Wyoming.” He tried to sound reasonable. 

“What do you care? You don’t even want the baby. Now move, I need to pack.” I said, standing up. 

He knew it was no use arguing with me once I made my mind up it was made and I was going to stick to it. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t pissed that I was going. 

I grabbed my bag and threw in what I would need before tossing my gun in on top. Joel had already left the room and was getting the rest of the supplies together out in the living room. Lucky for Tess, we usually left the QZ from mine and Joel's apartment so she had stashes of supplies with ours so she was able to pack hers as well. Once we were packed we devised a plan. Well, they did. I didn’t know the details and Joel was being petty not telling me them and Tess was following along. All I knew was that we’d go into the old subway tunnels to come up through the bottom of the building where their guy that had their money and truck battery should be. 

“Alright, come on, kid.” Tess said, slinging her bag over her shoulder. 

“I’m not a fucking kid.” I snapped. 

“Damn, someone is not happy today.” She said, walking out the door. 

I grabbed Joel by the sleeve of his denim shirt to get him to hang back for a second. 

“Have you told her yet?” 

“No.” 

“Good. Don’t.” I said. 

“Hate to break it to you but she’ll find out eventually. Can’t hide it forever, sweetheart.” He shot back. 

“I know. And when I am ready to tell her about my baby, I will.” I said before letting go of his arm and following Tess out. 

The walk to the access point of the abandoned subway tunnels was quiet. When we finally made it to the building, the doors had been re-chained and locked once again. That had never deterred us before, it definitely wouldn’t do it today. Joel cut the chain and we were in. We took a second to get our guns and flashlights out. I had never liked going through the tunnels before, they were dark and damp and smelt like mildew. I wasn’t entirely sure if the smell had actually gotten worse since I had been down there or if maybe it was because I was pregnant but it was almost making me gag. 

And the deeper we got, the worse it smelt. I was half tempted to just turn back around. But I had a point to prove, I wouldn’t give Joel the satisfaction of leaving me here. When I heard Tess say she found the way out I was relieved. Once we got through the door I stopped in the small entry area as Tess went on ahead. 

“Joel, can you grab my water for me, I feel like I am going to puke?” I asked, trying to keep myself from puking, the air in here wasn’t nearly as bad. 

“I told you, you shouldn’t go with us.” He said but still stepped over to grab the canteen from my bag. 

Before he got a chance to grab it though we heard Tess yell. That caused both of us to spring into action and follow where she had gone, guns ready. When we made it around the corner we saw no immediate threats, but as my eyes scanned I saw why she had yelled. 

Fused to the wall was, what used to be, a person. Their body was completely taken over by the fungus. 

“It’s dead.” 

“No shit, Joel.” I said back. 

“I know, I just wasn’t really expecting it.” 

“Was he not here last time?” I asked and she shook her head. 

“You think he came down here after he was infected?” Tess asked. 

Joel was quick to respond with, “Maybe down here is where he was infected.” 

“I’m sure we’re fine…” I said trying not to dwell on that idea too much. 

“Yeah, let's just keep moving.” Tess said, turning and leading the way once again. 

We finally made it to a sketchy-looking ladder. Tess went first, then me, and lastly Joel. As we climbed Joel made a comment about the construction of the building itself, something about it getting updated in the 80s or something. Despite the fact I didn’t always know what he was talking about when it came to construction, I always loved hearing and learning about his old interests. Tess cracked a joke teasing him about his construction-nerd comment, which made me smile slightly. We climbed a little bit higher before Tess got off the ladder. 

It was a small landing with only a single door. 

“This should lead into the hallway.” She said as she went to push it. 

“Is it stuck? Or is something blocking it?” I asked after it didn’t budge. 

“What the fuck?” She asked, shoving it again. 

Then the smell hit me. 

“Okay, I know y’all have got to be able to smell that.” I said. 

“Yeah, it’s gunpowder.” Joel confirmed 

We all scanned the area around us for its source. Then Tess found it, seeping up from under the door was a stream and pool of blood. She shoved the door a little harder and was able to move the body that was slumped in front of it. 

When we made it through I was shocked. There were probably at least half a dozen dead people. Beside one of the men was the truck battery. I didn’t know much about cars, but I did know one that corroded wouldn’t have worked. 

As if to confirm my thought Tess spoke up from where she was squatting down beside it, “Well, the battery’s no good.” 

“Do you think he knew?” I asked. 

“Oh yeah. He knew, and he still tried selling it, twice. Greedy motherfucker.” Tess said as she stood. 

Just as she finished speaking we heard something further up the hall. Joel wasted no time, bringing his gun up and going in pursuit of the sound. I was right behind him, my own gun raised as well. 

“Stay back I got this.” He said quietly over his shoulder. 

“What if there is more than one?” 

He gave no answer and just continued down the hall. We rounded a corner and there was someone trying to help another person up off the ground. Before we got close enough to them the door to our right swung open. I stepped back in time, but Joel didn’t react quickly enough. Someone lept out of the now open door, knife in hand. Joel threw them to the ground quickly and pointed his gun at them. It was then that I realized it was a kid, couldn’t be older than 15. 

“Joel?” The lady down the hall called out. 

I turned my attention back to her and brought my gun up to aim it at her just as a precaution. 

“Marleen?” Joel asked back. 

They know each other?

The lady, now known to me as Marleen, checked on the girl who said she was fine. But then she went to grab the knife she had lost after getting thrown to the ground by Joel, but he quickly stepped on it blocking her from being able to. 

Marleen then called the girl’s name, Ellie, to get her attention. That’s when she noticed that Marleen was hurt. She had just finished reassuring her when Tess joined us. 

“So this is who Robert screwed us over with?” 

The two of them continued a small banter as my attention went back to the girl. I saw her reach for the knife again. Joel quickly turned to point his gun at her. 

“Don’t.” He warned, causing Marleen and the person she was helping to bring their own guns up to point them at him. 

“Not at her!” Marleen said firmly, as Tess and I both aimed our guns back at her and the person with her, “Point it at me.” 

I stole a glance at Ellie, her hands were raised and she looked terrified. Joel slowly took his aim off her and brought it back to Marleen. 

“No offense,” She began, “Our reason for needing that battery is much bigger than yours. Tommy is just one man…” She paused to gauge Joel’s reaction, “It’s our job to know things.” 

“To know things.” Joel repeated, “You’re the same cause that caused my brother to turn against me.” 

“Okay, Joel.” Marleen said as if they have had this conversation before. 

Marleen’s friend finally spoke up, “That was a lot of gunfire.” 

“That means FEDRA will be here soon.” I added, knowing we needed to get the hell out of here. 

“I know.” Marleen said quietly as if she were deep in thought about something. She sighed before speaking up again. 

“We were going to move Ellie out of the QZ tonight. But now we won’t make it anywhere, not for a while at least… So, now I’m thinking, you’re gonna do it.” She said. 

“What?” 

“Like hell we are.” 

“I’m not goin’ with them!” 

Me, Joel, and Ellie all spoke at the same time.

I turned to look at Tess as Joel did the same, “Tess we don’t have time this.” He said. 

“Who is she?” Tess asked, ignoring Joel. 

“For you, consider her cargo.” 

“We don’t smuggle people.” Joel said to Marleen. 

“There is a team of Fireflies waiting for her at the old State House. I know what’s out there. We were going with an entire squadron for that very reason. Now I don’t have that, and I don’t have a truck with FEDRA closing in. All have now is you. And I know what you are capable of… For better or worse.” Marleen said. 

I glanced down at Ellie as she spoke up, “What are they capable of?” 

“You don’t want to know.” I said quietly to her, shaking my head slightly. 

“You get her there safely,” Marleen continued, “and they’ll give you what you need. Not just a battery, but the whole thing. Anything you need. I swear.” 

Joel stayed silent as he looked back at Tess and me. I glanced between the two of them waiting for one of them to make a decision about what we were doing. Tess finally nodded for Joel and me to step away with her so we could discuss. 

“I don’t think I trust her.” I said once we stopped. 

“Neither do we, but she seems desperate.” Tess said. 

“A Firefly vehicle usually means stuff repurposed from FEDRA which would give us a better-than-decent chance makin’ it to Tommy. The second we hand that kid over-” Joel got cut off. 

“Y’all can talk it through but keep in mind I am bleeding out still.” Marleen called out to us. 

We waited a moment before Tess turned back to them. 

“Okay so here’s the deal. We’ll get her to the State House. But we will not hand her over until we have been given everything we want. If not, we kill her, there and then.” 

I wanted to protest that plan but before I could, Marleen said it was a deal. 

“Really? That fast?” Ellie asked. 

“I was thinking the same thing.” I mumbled to myself. 

“You are all that matters. Go grab your bag.” 

It took her a second but she got up and went back into the room to get it. When she got back I let her go ahead of me, following Tess with Joel at the rear of our small group. We walked through the rain back to the apartment. When we got there Joel handed Tess the key to unlock it. She did and held it open for Ellie, I followed behind her. Then Tess was closing the door. 

“Keep an eye on the kid, Joel and I need a second.” She said. 

“Seriously? I can help plan!” I yelled through the door. 

I could hear them discussing which route we take and Bill and Franks. With a sigh, I turned to Ellie. 

“You can go set your bag down.” I said, nodding her over to the living room.

I waited by the door for Joel to come back inside. He eventually did and went straight to the couch. 

“What’s the plan?” I asked. 

“Kill time until it’s dark, then leave.” He said matter of factly. 

“Kill time? What are we supposed to do?” 

“Figure it out.” He snapped before closing his eyes. 

“Just don’t talk to him right now, Ellie. He’s in a bad mood.” I said. 

“Clearly.” She said making me laugh a little. 

“You like card games?” I asked, grabbing our deck off the shelf.

“Yeah.” She smiled, walking over to the table where I had already sat down. 

We played for a bit before I told her I was going to take a short nap before it got dark and advised her to do the same. I went to mine and Joel’s room to lie down on the bed there. 

I wasn’t sure how long I was asleep for, but I was being woken up by Tess. 

“You comin’ or what? Get a jacket, kid. Come on.” She said. 

I quickly got up and went to grab my jacket but hesitated. I wasn’t sure how long we’d be out there. Hopefully not long but if something goes wrong and we’re away longer than we expect, I didn’t want my jacket not to fit when I start showing so instead, I grabbed one of Joel’s older ones and threw that on. When I walked out wearing it Joel gave me a weird look. 

“That mine?” 

“I couldn’t find mine, let’s just go.” I lied. 

“You’re still coming with us?” He asked. 

“Oh my gosh, yes, Joel. I am going. Deal with it.” 

And with that, I left the apartment. 

We made it out and passed the patrols. Then we made it outside of the walls, but we weren’t in the clear yet. They had patrols on the wall. Tess was leading our group, then Ellie behind her, then me, then Joel. We had just about made it when we failed, trying to sneak past a footguard taking a piss. I felt a wave of panic but then when he realized who we were and didn’t just shoot us I felt a little better. 

“Get on your knees!” He kept yelling at us. 

“Just do it.” Tess said, getting down. 

I followed her lead, no need in making this difficult. Joel and Ellie followed as well. 

“Look, you let us do this run we will split the cards with you.” Tess tried to bargain but it wasn’t working. He had us facing away from him and was about to test all of us for infection. I still hated getting this done. Tess went first as she continued to try and sweeten the deal with him. When he got behind me, Joel reached over to grab my hand to give me some comfort, knowing I hated this, but I pulled it away quickly just as the device pricked me. Then he went on to Joel, who also tried to negotiate a better deal for us to be let go, he wasn’t biting. He got to Ellie, but to everyone’s surprise, she whipped around and stabbed the guard in the leg. As Ellie stood I was quick to get to my feet to stand in front of her as the guard aimed his rifle at her. 

“Get out of my fucking way!” The guard yelled. 

“No.” I said firmly. 

By this point Joel had gotten up and was now in front of me, “We can fix this!” 

“Move.” 

It all happened so fast. One moment Joel was in front of me blocking me from the rifle, next he had tackled the guard to the ground and was beating the shit out of him. There was nothing I could do besides watch. 

“Hey, guys!” Tess yelled getting mine and Joel's attention. 

She held up the device the guard was using to test us for infection. It was lit up red. Ellie tried to argue that she wasn’t sick. I tuned out her and Tess arguing and just looked at Joel waiting for him to react. The sound of sirens broke me from my trance. 

“We need to get the fuck out of here. Now!”

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[dilemmaontwolegs]

Another Lie || CL16 {3}

Warnings: 18+ only, smut, angst WC: 1.1k

F1 Masterlist || One || Two || Three || Four

The hours were already creeping into the afternoon when you woke to the soft sounds of the piano in the living room. The keys had gone unused for months, since Charles left the prized possession behind when he moved out. You should have taken it as a sign that he was always planning to come back.

Slipping out of the bed, you wrapped a silk robe around your body and quietly followed the music that drifted down the hall. His back was to you as the smooth expanse warmed by the sunlight that bathed the open room, not a single scratch to be seen between the constellation of beauty spots that dotted across his lightly tanned shoulders. 

Last night had ended gently, with Charles' body curled up behind yours and his fingertips softly tracing the curves of your body. He had kissed your shoulder blade as his hand eased your leg over his and your back arched as you welcomed more of his touch.

Charles’ sigh had teased your ear when he buried himself in you and held you close. There had been no rush to his slow strokes. He hadn’t been chasing release from whatever it was he had been feeling. He had been completely present in the moment, wanting it to last as long as possible in case it didn’t happen like that again.

Before you reached him he shifted along the bench to make room for you. You silently slipped onto the seat, feeling his warmth spread through the silk as he continued the song you didn’t recognise.

“Like it?” he asked as the last note faded out.

“Mhmm,” you hummed as you rested your head on his shoulder. “What’s it called? I don’t remember hearing it before.”

“It’s new,” he said with a smile before kissing your forehead. “Doesn’t have a name yet.”

Your head shot up in surprise. “You wrote it?”

“For us.” His smile faded as he looked back at the keys and pressed a few in different variations. “I just don’t know how it ends.”

“You’ll figure it out.” You rose from the bench and made your way to the kitchen as he closed the piano lid before following. A small part of you wished he had remained at the piano since you had missed the lazy Sundays he would spend playing for you. Those hours spent on the balcony with a hot drink while watching the birds gliding over the water were some you savoured most of all.

Whatever white flag had flown overnight was slowly being lowered as he watched you from the breakfast bar. He cracked his knuckles impatiently before changing the order of his rings and sighing as you still said nothing, keeping yourself busy as you made two coffees.

“So,” he started as you placed his favourite mug in front of him, his hand catching your waist before you could head back to the fridge and start breakfast. “Dinner tonight.”

“It’s not your birthday anymore, there’s no more wishes.”

“I want you there.” He pulled you onto his lap. “As my girlfriend.”

“I get you don’t want to upset your mother but I can’t keep pretending everything is fi-” He silenced you with a kiss and your hands started to slide over his chest before you caught yourself and pulled away. “Cha, stop doing that.”

“It’s always been you for me, always. And I know I’ve treated you like shit but give me a chance to show you I can change, that I can make it up to you. Please?”

His eyes held the same hopeful innocence look that hadn’t changed in all the years you had known him and your shoulders dropped the longer you stared into them. “Please?”

“One more chance, I’m serious, Charles.”

He caught your chin and tipped it back as he stared right back, his lips pressed in a hard line. “And I’m serious, no more drugs.”

“If you keep your promise then I’ll keep mine.” You leaned into his touch and he guided your lips to his, savouring the relieved sigh he exhaled before they sealed the promise.

One month. 

That was all it took for the freshly repaired cracks in the relationship to be destroyed once again. 

You didn’t even feel hurt as you stood in the bedroom, opening your suitcase with shaking hands, there was nothing left to feel. He had lied. It wasn’t a surprise, but you wished it was, at least then you could have told yourself you had believed him when he said forever.

Your phone hadn’t stopped vibrating with his calls that you ignored. Every time his name showed up on the screen you saw the censored pictures on the news, the article heading enough to tell you everything you needed to know. What happens in Vegas…doesn’t always stay in Vegas. 

You didn’t know who the woman was with the blurred out face, but it didn’t matter. If it wasn’t her, it would have been someone else.

Your vision blurred and you startled as you touched the trail of tears running down your cheeks. Maybe you weren’t as numb as you thought, maybe this was shock settling in. Maybe you had believed him.

“You’re a fucking idiot,” you growled as you wiped them away and zipped the overflowing bag shut.

Declining the call that came in, you made a call of your own and your throat closed as a sleepy voice answered.

“Sweetie, do you know what time it is?”

“Ma,” you choked on a sob as she immediately started to wake your father. “I’m coming home.”

“I thought Monaco was your home?”

You shook your head, displacing more tears and started to wheel the luggage to the door. “No, there’s nothing left here for me anymore.”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” she said softly and you heard the kettle start to boil in the background.

“Me too, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“Do you want to talk about it? I’m assuming this is to do with Charles.”

You didn’t bother to correct her on the pronunciation this time. “Not at the moment. I’ll have my flight details emailed to you when I get to the airport.”

“Okay, darling, we’ll see you soon. I love you.”

“Love you too, ma.”

There were no words you could put on a piece of paper that could explain to him that there were no more chances. You placed your phone on the table with the keys for the apartment and nodded to yourself, that would be enough.

This was his city and remaining here only had one ending. But you were done lying to yourself and you were done listening to his lies no matter how sweet they sounded. You were going to keep your promise, no more drugs. No more Charles. You were going clean and removing yourself from the temptation.

The door sealed shut behind you as you whispered your final farewell to the memories that had been made in the home. But it wasn’t your home any longer, just like you weren’t his.

“Goodbye, Charles.”

Click here for part four.

[the-west-meadow]

Can you write "I’m trying to say that I’m glad you’re here." from your prompt list? ☺️

Kendall Roy x Reader

prompt: I'm trying to say that I'm glad you're here.

It was the day after Kendall’s birthday party and you hadn’t heard from him all morning. The last time you had seen him, he was completely wasted, getting ready to perform on stage in front of his guests. The sight of him so out of control was too painful to bear, so you had quietly slipped out without any goodbyes. 

Now there was radio silence from Kendall. You didn’t know what he was thinking; was he angry at you for leaving early? There was no way to tell. So you got dressed, headed down the street towards the nearest coffeeshop, where you bought two black coffees then took a cab to Kendall’s townhouse.

It was a long time before anyone came to the door. When he finally did, it was like watching a vampire face the sunlight for the first time. He looked awful. Dark bags under his eyes, hair disheveled, wearing just a t-shirt and shorts. 

“Shit. Did I call you?” he said. 

“Nope. Just bringing coffee to the birthday boy.”

“Did you want to come in?”

“Is there anything in there I shouldn’t see?”

“No, no. I’m all alone.”

He led you inside, taking a seat on the big sectional sofa in the living room. The curtains were drawn, the TV on mute with footage showing the outside of his party venue the night before. He quickly turned it off. 

“That was the biggest shitshow of my life.”

You slid the coffee towards him. He took a grateful sip. 

“Sorry I couldn’t stay,” you said. 

“I’m actually glad you didn’t.”

You raised your eyebrows.

“Sorry. Fuck. That came out wrong. I mean I’m glad you didn’t get to see me embarrass myself any further.”

“It’s okay. It was a good time while it lasted.”

He cupped the coffee in his hands, gazing off.

“I wish the whole night had gone differently," he said. "I feel like a fucking joke. Nobody takes me seriously.”

“That sounds like your dad talking.”

“I’ve had his voice in my head my entire life. I can’t get it out.”

He massaged his temples with the tips of his fingers, closing his eyes.

“Then you show up here with coffee. And it’s the last thing I fucking deserve after how I acted last night.” 

“I can go if you’d rather be alone…”

His eyes opened suddenly. It almost frightened you how sad and pleading they looked.

“That’s not what I meant. I’m trying to say I’m glad you’re here. I’m just a fucking asshole and all my words come out wrong when I’m hungover.”

He took a deep breath then looked straight at you.

“I’m glad you’re here because you’re the only person who has bothered to reach out to me since last night. I’m all over the fucking news, Twitter, whatever. And yet not one person has sent me so much as a text to see how I’m doing. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t expect them to. But the very fact that you’re here is just…”

He shook his head, averting his eyes.

“I feel like I don’t fucking deserve it.”

“Kendall.”

He looked up at you again, eyes questioning.

“I wish I had been with you last night," you said. "I shouldn’t have left. I didn’t want to see you like that. It hurts. But it hurts even more to know you came back here alone.”

You choked up, throat suddenly tight. Kendall reached for you automatically. 

“No, no, no. Come here.”

He took your wrist gently, pulling you around to his side of the sofa. 

“It’s not your job to take care of me while I’m being a drunk asshole.”

“Is it bad that I kind of want to?”

For the first time he smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling slightly. 

“No. That’s amazing, actually.”

“Let me make you breakfast.”

“I can see you’re not going to take no for an answer. At least let me make some toast.”

“Deal.”

You started to get up, but he gently grabbed your hand again.

“Hey,” he said. He looked like he was about to say something else, but instead he wrapped his arms around you. He hugged you with the desperation of a child who hadn’t been held in a very long time. You squeezed him back, his warm body in your arms, his voice murmuring in your ear:

“Thank you.”

[mlm-writer]

Till Death Do Us Part (John Kennex x GN!Reader)

Pairing: John Kennex x Detective!Gender Neutral Reader Rating: Mature Words: 871 POV: Second Summary: The Big Tober Day 3 - Inevitable death: We will die, let’s say the things we were always too afraid to say Note: researched death by CO2 poisoning for this lmao Tags: slow death, angst, fluff, love confession and Dorian is mentioned a lot

Blood started to cover the rubble as you clawed at it, your hands splitting open at the effort. A strong arm wrapped around your middle, your colleague pulling you away from the chunks of concrete. It had been a trap all along, a long chase that ended in an old metro shaft underneath the city. It was a miracle that you managed to run into a corner, where a large concrete pillar created a safe space, but you were alone and too far underground to call for help. 

“Give it a rest, that shit is not moving,” John grumbled as held you tightly, trying to keep your hands from reaching for the rubble again. 

“Are you just giving up, Kennex?” You hissed at him. 

“Think about it. We have limited air and disturbing the rubble could very well lead to this pillar crashing on our head. Dorian will realise we chose to go against his advice and follow up on our lead. He’ll go after us, trace our steps, and find us.” 

You let out a disheartened chuckle. “It’s funny how you went from hating all androids to absolutely adoring Dorian.” You shook your head and took a deep breath, trying to calm yourself. 

“Well don’t order a wedding cake yet. Dorian stuck his finger in my coffee.” You laughed and leaned back against John. With his grip loosened, but arms still around you, this almost seemed like a romantic moment. “ I uh… can let you go now if you’d like,” John offered when he realised what your current predicament looked like. You shook your head, settling in just fine. 

“Not how I envisioned our first long embrace, but this will do,” you sighed. You wanted to be embarrassed at your honesty, but also felt like you were getting too old to be bashful. 

“We’ve been pussyfooting around this for a long time, huh?” John agreed, his arms shifting around you to a more comfortable position. “Fucking will they, won’t they bullshit.” You laughed at John’s observations. He was right. You two happening was a long time coming and this whole situation was just the perfect opportunity to get closer. You couldn’t wait for Dorian to dig you out and find a new couple, instead of just two dumbass hothead detectives. 

The next hours were actually quite nice, filled with kisses and reminiscing, stories of each other, gossip in the office. You and John could talk about your whole lives, but as the third hour started to hit, you were yawning more than talking. Both of you knew what it meant; the oxygen was running out. Neither of you had much faith in Dorian left, but neither one of you mentioned it. 

“If I could get a do-over,” John started, his words interrupted by a yawn, “I’d tell you at Rudie’s birthday party to skip the cake and come get some real food with me.” You smiled against his chest, arms tightening around him. 

“You were still madly in love with An…” A yawn. “With Anna back then.” John sighed, commenting on how stupid it was. You were silent for a minute, death looming over you. “It hurt me to see you with her. Even back then I was in love with you. Sometimes I…” You yawned. “Sometimes I wonder if I could have spared you so much pain if I had just confessed to you before it all happened.” 

John leaned down to give you a kiss on your head. “We could’ve had so much mind-blowing sex,” he joked, trying to lighten the mood, before you spiralled into the endless pit of what-ifs. 

You slapped John on the chest. “I’m serious,” you reprimanded him. You both yawned. “John, if we survive this, let’s take a week off and catch up on lost time.” He hummed in agreement, eyes slowly falling closed. “Hey, stay with me!” You slapped his face gently, but hard enough to anchor him back in consciousness. 

Your name left his lips in a strained voice, like he wanted to cry, but didn’t. You looked up at him, glistening eyes meeting your watery ones. John sounded exhausted with each word he spoke next. “I may not always have loved you, but I can definitely say now, till death do us part.” Tears fell from your eyes as you laughed at his cheesiness. 

You wiped your eyes and face, sniffing and yawning. “You dumb fuck, I will turn into a woeful ghost and we’re visiting your favourite noodle place together as ghosts. Let’s haunt that place forever.” You expected a chuckle, but when you opened your eyes again, John’s were closed. He was still breathing, but you wondered for how long. You kept staring at his peaceful face, taking it all in, until you couldn’t hold up your body anymore. You snuggled close to him, letting his warmth calm you as the other plane of existence gradually claimed you too. 

It was days later when Dorian managed to find the pile of rubble you were under. Another day for help to finally make it through the collapsed tunnel. They found you under that concrete pillar, bodies laid together like the ancient grave of a couple. 

If androids could cry…

—————

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[cheesus-doodles]

Twins for the Price of One

BFF Kawata Twins

Masterlist

‎

Happy (extremely belated) Birthday to the Kawata Twins! First time I’m writing for them, hopefully their characterisation are fine! Dedicated to a friend >.> you know who you are

“Kawata Nahoya! I can’t believe you!” You huffed, though as much as you would have like to have hands on your hips to give him a proper chastising, you were too busy threading them both through a mob of cotton candy blue hair sniffling up against your shirt. “A fight? On your birthday?!”

Said boy barely looked bothered, the usual shit-eating grin plastered all over his face doing little to hide to the smugness he was feeling over his win; both the Kawata twins knew it wasn’t anger in your tone. It was worry, as always, about them getting hurt in their little adventures. “They were being annoying, so we had to put them down of course.”

“Did you have to drag Souya in as well though?”

Ah, Nahoya see where this was going. So Angry was going to pretend he didn’t take part in the beatdown, even if both their uniforms were equally rumpled and dirtied; ah the things he do for his younger brother. "He needs to learn how to defend himself without crying,” the orange-haired boy insisted, though his twin was far from agreeing with him, refusing to look at his older brother, occupied with soaking in the affection you were giving him. You simply sighed, opting to wave away the issue - the Toman Fourth Division Captain was notoriously stubborn, and they knew they were already running late on the schedule you had planned to celebrate their birthdays.

Throwing your hands in the air, you gently hustled Souya away from you, only to stand and roughly wipe at the dirt smudges on Nahoya’s face with a handkerchief produced from the depths of your pocket, much to his chagrin. “At least tidy up before you come.”

“I’m clean enough!”

You rolled your eyes, ignoring his words in favour of turning to lead the way into the ramen shop, with Angry right on your heels looking much like a kicked puppy. “Come on, I’m starving.”

Lunch was a relatively quick affair, with the three of you eager to get on with the promise of a fun-filled day. It definitely helped that the chef was a grumpy man that both the Kawata twins were weary enough to thread lightly around - even delinquents knew better than to angry the hand that feeds them. Shuffling out back into the sunny afternoon with full stomachs and lively moods, you stretched, satisfied. "All right, where to next?"

"Don't you already have everything planned?" Nahoya teased, and this time Souya nodded along. They knew you never liked leaving home without a plan, and it seemed they were right again as you let out a laugh. They got you again.

"I did have plans to go to the arcade," you admitted, pulling out what looked like three IC cards, handing each of them one. "Topped it up as well, go wild."

Souya glanced between his card and the one you still held. "Can I have that one instead?"

"Already used it. Sorry, Souya."

Nahoya slapped his twin on the shoulder, before jerking a thumb and exclaiming. Everything suddenly made sense. "That's why your school bag's so fat!" If you hadn't been a second quicker in twisting yourself away and out of reach, the Toman Division Captain would have his grubby hands all over your bag. "Show, show! Whatcha win?"

"Your birthday presents okay?" Grumbling, you pulled out the two stuffed bears, one dressed in a duckie raincoat and the other a froggy raincoat, the two furry plush almost instantly being snatched up by the orange-haired boy. “Honestly, you two are more like my brothers than my friends sometimes.”

“Older or younger?” Nahoya hmmed and hawed, trying to decide between the two types. He liked them both pretty much equally, the delinquent mused, deciding to instead let his younger twin pick first. “I vote older. I always protect you at school.”

Souya agreed. "Older. We always fight off the bullies."

You smacked him over the head with yet another freshly won plushie produced from the depths of your bag. “Definitely younger because you sir are nothing but trouble.”

Nahoya sent a wink to his younger brother. But you weren't done yet, turning to smack the blue-haired boy as well. “And Souya, you too, don’t think I forgot you. Following this stupidhead into fights, what are you thinking? No one dares bully me to begin with.”

But turning away, it was hard for the two Kawata brothers to miss the smile that quirked your lips. “But happy Birthday to you boys, I suppose.” No doubt you certainly felt that on older sibling role some days more than others, having to look out for your two best friends and make sure they don't get themselves into too much trouble.

Nahoya grabbed one arm, and Souya the other in one smooth movement before you could react, and you blinked, gaping as the two begin frogmarching you down the street. "Enough moping about! Let's go!" Nahoya declared, his froggy-coated bear tucked firmly under his free arm. "I'll win something even bigger for you!"

‎

[billythenightguard]

Run Away: Detention (2011) & FNAF Movie Crossiver - Chapter 4

Masterlist

Mentions: weed

Word Count: 985

Warnings: hurt/comfort (?)

Older!Clapton/Mike x GN!Reader

You drove to the Pizzeria in silence, Abby buckled into the back of your car, already asleep again in her school clothes, you couldn’t blame her. “Hi, can I get a number 4 with black coffee, a number 2 with an iced caramel latte, and a homestyle breakfast with milk please?” You asked the speaker box of the McDonald’s, ordering enough food for you and the Schmidt siblings.

“Abby,” you softly shook her awake, having now arrived to Freddy’s, “let’s go eat breakfast with Mike.” You carefully picked her up, holding her with one arm as the other held the bag of food, Mike, unfortunately for you, was too busy listening to his old mixtape, softly singing along, luckily it wasn’t hard to get the door open, a smile on your lips as you heard your cassette playing in the security room, creeping into the room quietly, but seeing him singing brought back memories.

“Clapton, oh my god!” You exclaimed from the passenger seat of his dad’s old Beamer, laughing as he sang along loudly to “F**kin’ Perfect” on the radio.

“Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel like you're less than fuckin' perfect. Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel like you're nothing, you're fuckin' perfect to me.” He sang, looking at you out of the corner of his eyes, focusing on the road.

“Okay, okay!” You exclaimed in a fit of giggles.

“Say it,” he said, a cocky grin on his face.

“No-”

“Okay, I’ll keep singing,” he made a mock face of offense when you had smacked his arm.

“Okay! Okay! I’m perfect!” You squealed, he could certainly sing well, but not when he was teasing you. More focused on making you laugh rather than sounding good.

“There we go, firecracker!” He laughed alongside you. Pulling into the good 7-11, the one with the always working slurpee machines. “Come on, my treat, anything you want.”

“Anything?” You teased, giving him doe eyes.

“Still no weed.”

“Awh! No fair!”

“You can have some on your 16th birthday, just like I did.” He said sternly, ruffling your hair.

“But that’s so far.” You groaned as you two walked into the 7-11, both of you grabbing your snacks and slurpees.

“Not like I’m going anywhere anytime soon,” he said, “best friends for life right?” You looked over to Clapton and nodded, leaning into him when he wrapped his arm around your shoulders.

Mike’s yelp and a crash brought you out of your daydream. “Shit! Mike, I’m so sorry!” You carefully set Abby, who has woken up now, and the food down. Offering your hand to Mike who was now on the ground.

“You startled me,” he laughed, “I didn’t hear you two come in.” He took your hand, hoisting himself up with your help.

“I didn’t know if you were sleeping.” You said with a slight blush. “I stopped and got us all breakfast.”

“Sleep- you’ve caught me sleeping on the job… great.” He laughed at himself, shaking his head.

“Hey, I’m not blaming you,” you quickly reassured him. “You work nights, you deserve to sleep a couple of hours, I don’t know who would even try to break into here anyways.” You chuckled, handing him the food you had gotten him, along with the black coffee, setting Abby up to eat her breakfast. He couldn’t help but to admire you, looking down for a second, he wished you two were back in Grizzly Lake, where he was the one taking care of you. You were something Ione hated, but Clapton/Mike never cared, he was always there for you, always at your call.

“They remind me of the best friend you talked about when I was littler.” Abby said to Mike when they were in the car alone, the three of you having had your breakfast and now it was time to get Abby to school. Mike tensed, though, looking back at Abby through the mirror, she remembered those stories? Has she told you?

“Yeah, they kind of do.” He said, trying to seem nonchalant as he pulled out of the pizzeria parking lot and onto the highway.

“I wonder if they have any cool stories about their best friend!” Abby giggled, unaware of just how much stress she was adding onto the man, he couldn’t let Abby tell you. Not yet. Not before he did.

With Abby at school, and you at work, Mike was bored. The dishes of last night’s dinner were cleaned already, minus a plate in the microwave left for him. He noticed it seemed as though you did some grocery shopping for him. He was about to text you and scold you, and insist you take some payment before he remembered your first babysitting gig at 12.

“Clapton, come on!” You pulled him into the grocery store.

“Dude, they probably have food!” He insisted, not understanding why you were trying to buy your own groceries to cook with.

“They might be like my mom, where everything down to the last tablespoon of salt has a plan.” Clapton flinched slightly at that, he liked your parents, he had no choice, they created his perfect best friend. But your mom tended to be a bit strict, and he noticed it would affect you in ways it shouldn’t.

“Alright, alright. But I’m buying, you can pay me back after babysitting gig number five.”

“Deal!” He never took a payment from you, for the next two years he would constantly help you buy your groceries before you’d go babysit.

Mike didn’t know when he started crying, sitting on the edge of his bed with a polaroid in his hand, his other hand moving to his face and wiping away the wetness on his cheeks. You never left his mind, and even now, having you so close was still too far. He watched and read the news as much as he could, Sander Sanderson was still unfound. Still out there. And to Mike, still a threat.

Tag List: @na-is-salty @thegirlwholoveslivesfanfiction @dessxoxsworld @mad-die45 @cancelledkaley @mschmidt

[risustravelogue]

You, and Only You

Summary:

Hope is the light at the end of the tunnel.

Featuring:

Tighnari (brief appearance), Alhaitham, Chubby Depressed!Reader

Tone:

Angst... with a happy ending. :)

Note:

An expansion of the second part of this headcanon. Second (impromptu) submission for @haithamuse's birthday collab. Enjoy getting hurt! 💚 CW: Depression, thoughts of self-hate, self-worth issues, emotional detachment, depersonalization. Heavy self-insert.

🔗 AO3 | masterlist 🔗

That fateful day, you met up with him at the café to talk. He sat across you and held your hand.

“What is it you want to talk about?” he asked.

You gulped. Deep breaths. It’s okay, he’s my boyfriend. He’ll understand.

“I went to talk with a psychiatrist,” you began. “She said I have clinical depression.”

“Ah,” he sighed.

He lowered his gaze. You could swear you heard him whisper, perfect timing.

He turned to look back at you with a sickeningly sweet smile as he withdrew his hand from yours.

“Then, I’m ending this. Us, I mean.”

Your body went numb. “What?”

“Yes, well. I’ve long since suspected something like that was going on.”

You could almost hear the cracking sound of your heart breaking.

“And I am not dealing with it.”

Crash.

“I intend to end this sooner or later anyway.”

Burn.

You asked him why. “Why are you doing this?” “Did I do something wrong?” “Can I salvage this?” Just please, please don’t leave me—

You asked him even though you already knew the answer. He’s grown sick of me.

In the end, he left you with lots of excuses but never an apology.

You figured it was because you deserved nothing of the sort.

For no one owes the songless bird a chance to sing.

—

You woke up to someone knocking on the door. A familiar voice called your name several times.

“It’s Tighnari. You haven’t gone out of your room for two days.”

A pause.

“I’m worried about you. May I come in?”

You put the blanket over your head.

“Go away, Nari.”

A sob.

“You shouldn’t talk to a piece of shit like me.”

A muffled hiss.

“You are not a piece of shit.”

Another sob.

“Then tell me, what should I call myself? I’m a defect and no one—”

A choking sound.

“No one will ever love me.”

The sound of the door opening. Footsteps approaching. A dip on the bed. The light brush of a tail on your feet and a hand on your shoulder.

“Don’t say that, please. You’re my dear friend. I love you, and nothing will ever change that. Not even your diagnosis.”

The bed sprung back up.

“I’ll help you pack your things, all right? I’m bringing you to Gandharva Ville, and I’m not taking no for an answer.”

You burst into tears again. Only the sound of your sobs and the shuffling of your clothes getting packed filled the room. Tighnari held your hand all the way to the carriage that brought you to Gandharva Ville, then shifted to patting your back along the way. A week off was the best he could help you get on such short notice—but that short week held your life together for the months ahead.

—

You’d been taking medication for several months. They had desirable effects, that much you didn’t deny. They fixed your sleep schedule, and the pain in your chest has numbed considerably.

But you knew that no medication could fill the emptiness in your heart.

“Why don’t you try joining a book club?” Tighnari had said. “You’ve always loved books, and the shared interests would make it easier for you to blend in.”

So here you were, in front of a house not far from the Akademiya. Some people were conversing just outside, and they invited you in when you asked about the book club.

You spotted a familiar gray head amongst the people sitting in the living room when you stepped inside.

… Alhaitham?

You felt chills all over your skin as he turned his gaze your way. Your lips parted when his eyes widened in recognition. You held your breath as he got up from his seat and walked toward you with restrained haste, a small smile forming on his lips.

“Hi,” he said.

His voice. I’ve almost forgotten his voice.

Your eyes felt hot as you held yourself back from embracing him there and then.

“Hi,” you squeaked.

You gulped down words you could never tell him. I’ve been missing you.

You clenched your fists to ground yourself. No, no. Do not even dare to hope. You will never accept me.

Your mind screamed words—words you could never let out because I am not worthy of you.

Words you could never say because you deserve the best, not a defect like me.

Your mind went blank, your breath hitched, because I’ve been missing you for so long, and I want your arms to wrap around me, for you to say you’ve been missing me too.

But you’re not mine, and you will never be.

Your eyes grew hotter, but you forced your lips to form a smile anyway.

“Long time no see,” your voice said.

—

“So that’s… yeah. That’s my update.”

A shiver rippled through every inch of your skin as Alhaitham took your hand into his and squeezed. His usually-sharp eyes looked deep into yours with a mellow gaze.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that.” He squeezed your hand harder. “I should’ve—”

He shook his head.

“No. Never mind,” he said. He gave you a small smile as his fingers fiddled with yours, eliciting a blush from you. “Would you like me to slowly end his career or something?”

You grinned. You are such a softie. “No need,” you said. Thank you. “He’s not worth it.”

He hummed. “If you say so.”

You couldn’t help but notice that he always had his hands on you for the rest of the book club meet-up.

—

His soft, warm lips. The same lips you’d been daydreaming of for years, the same lips you’d kissed a thousand times in your mind, were pressing gently against your own lips, against you.

“I love you,” he declared softly, a tender smile on his lips. It’s that smile. “I’ve been in love with you since we were classmates.”

You felt tears start welling up in your eyes. “That long? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You already had a boyfriend when I realized my feelings for you. I’m sorry. I should’ve investigated more instead of just giving up and staying away.”

You felt your chest clenching. No, don’t be sorry. You didn’t wrong me.

You leaned forward to place a light kiss on his lips. If this is a dream, I hope it never ends. He pulled back in surprise.

You chuckled at his reaction. “It’s okay. Thank you.”

You let your tears roll down your cheeks as he gathered you into his arms, pressing your temple onto his sculpted chest.

—

“You’re never a waste of my time. I said I love you, and I mean it.”

He placed a kiss on your lips.

“I don’t mind that you’re chubby, or rather sickly, or prone to insecurities because of an illness you never wanted.”

Another kiss. He pulled away after a while, his half-lidded verdant eyes looking straight into yours. He smiled.

“I’ll always be there for you because I love you, and that’s final.”

—

“You are the love of my life, and I want you by my side for the rest of my days. Will you marry me?”

You let out an unceremonious sob.

“You still need to ask? I’m already yours, forever.”

—

“I, Alhaitham, take you as my wife.”

“And I…” You say your name with a shaky breath. “I take you as my husband.” 

You put your arms around his neck as his hands find their way to your waist, pulling your body against his. He chuckles as he dips in to kiss your lips. The sound of your heartbeat is so loud, it drowns the small crowd’s cheers and sobs.

“You are perfect, my love,” he whispers. An evergreen smile blooms on his lips. “Until death do us part—no, until the end of time, I will always, always love you, and only you.”

You pull him into another kiss, savoring his warmth like there’s no tomorrow.

“And I, you.”

A bird’s song pierces through the cool morning air.

© @risustravelogue 2023 • no to reposting, yes to reblogging. feel free to send an ask to suggest, chat, etc. :)

[jkfanfr]

Chrollo X Y/N FF- (Girl Y/N POV)

@y6ruu ~ This is for you hun, happy birthday girl!

Be ready for some awesome shit guys, i’ve worked super hard on this story

MATURE LANGUAGE USED

SMUT WARNING ;)

ANGST WARNING (SORRY! I DON’T EVEN KNOW IF I CAN CLASSIFY IT AS ANGST BUT JUST BEWARE FOR SOME SADNESS IN THIS ONE)

—————————————————————————

Chrollo- “So what if i wanna drink?! It’s my body, i’ll decide!”

Y/N- “Okay, i understand that, but you promised me you wouldn’t drink again. You know how bad it is for you!”

Y/N and Chrollo were in a very heated argument. Chrollo went out with his friends and drank some alcohol, but he promised his love he wouldn’t drink again. Y/N almost feels betrayed, and hurt, especially since Chrollo doesn’t seem care about himself or her, but he truly did.

Chrollo stepped towards her, annoyance in his eyes, but Y/N could see the tension and pure sadness well up.

Chrollo- “It was a mistake, you know it was! I would never break my promises on purpose”

Y/N- “Well, considering with how you’re acting. Maybe you did do it on purpose”

Chrollo scoffed at Y/N’s words, crossing his arms over his chest. He obviously felt bad that he had drank so much. He even felt his hungover headaches get to him like they used to.

This is the first time he’s drank since months. He’s been clean ever since, and broke it yesterday. Or..maybe even earlier?

Chrollo- “C’mon babe!”

Y/N- “Don’t you c’mon babe me. I’m done Chrollo”

Chrollo- “What’s that meant to mean..?”

Chrollo had a confused expression on his face, not understanding where Y/N was coming from.

Y/N- “This isn’t the first time you’ve drank since you stopped. Is it?”

Y/N was full of anger, how could Chrollo betray her trust? She trusted him with everything. Her heart began to uncover with hatred and sadness, the love not being able to envelope it anymore.

Chrollo had a expression of painful failure. He had no words coming out of his mouth, he knew what he’d done.

Chrollo just shook his head to her question, feeling like his heart was getting weaker and weaker as seconds went on

Y/N- “Im disappointed Chrollo.. Every time i asked if you drank, you said no. Little did i know you’ve been lying to me. I’m done. I’m leaving”

Chrollo had tears in his eyes now, his heart aching so badly. He didn’t want to believe the words coming out of Y/N’s mouth.

Chrollo- “No..no baby please..d-don’t do this to me..”

Chrollo held onto Y/N’s arm, almost begging her not to leave as his face streamed with tears like sprinkles on a cake. Once Y/N looked at his tear-filled eyes, she wanted to hug him, comfort him, give him all her love. But Chrollo needed to know she was done with his lies and him hurting himself because of it.

She couldn't experience him hurting himself like this.

He was already weak to alcohol from young, he could die too early if he carries on. Y/N could not bring herself to do anything more right now. She needed a break from it all. But she knew she’d come back. She can’t live without him.

Meanwhile, Chrollo’s mind was running with hurtful thoughts, he knew what he did. He knew what he did was wrong, but he couldn’t experience his love leaving like this

Chrollo- “Love, i was scared to tell you..please don’t leave me like this. I love you hun”

Y/N- “I just need a break, leave me alone for now”

Y/N grabbed her bag, having no sympathy at this point. She walked towards the door after throwing Chrollo’s grip away. Once the door shut, Chrollo fell to the ground, crying his eyes out. His already fragile heart felt hollow, he felt terrible for what he did.

Chrollo wanted to scream, shout, cry, do anything to let out the pain. But he couldn’t, he couldn’t get off of the ground. He was always scared of Y/N leaving him.

His worst fear came true. His lover leaving him all alone. It hurt bad. Really badly..

For the both of them.

A couple days later..

Y/N stepped into her and Chrollo’s condo, it smelling the same as when she left. If she’s honest with herself, she needed a break. But she couldn’t hide the fact she missed her husband so much. She looked at the 24 carat diamond ring on her right hand, it glistening in the dim lights.

Chrollo stepped out of the bedroom, wearing a dashing full black suit. Black blazer with a white undershirt, with buttons undone, exposing his neck so well. His sharp jawline was typically shining as his plump lips looked sweeter than usual. Glasses draped over his nose, as he usual green earrings changed to glimmering studs. His hair was full of gel, as it was cleanly slicked back, a couple strands dangling over his forehead. His black eyes filled with her world inside, as his cheeks were dusted with a cotton candy pink.

Gosh, he looked gorgeous, just absolutely stunning. Y/N gulped hard, her head in a state of just watching Chrollo, fully mesmerised in the beauty he’s capable of having. Not that he isn’t fine any other day. Just looking at her husband, Y/N realised what she had been missing for the past couple of days. Y/N felt even more bad for leaving him when she knew he needed her the most. In such a time, she shouldn’t of left him so easily. Y/N felt terrible as she saw Chrollo, looking as handsome as she left him in.

Chrollo turned his head, a smile filled with dimples appearing as his eyes filled with glitter. He ran up to Y/N, pulling her into a love-filled hug, his arms wrapped around her tight.

Chrollo- “Oh how i missed you baby..”

Y/N hugged him back, just processing everything as her heart filled with warmth. Chrollo felt so happy to see his wife once again, falling into love with her all over again.

Y/N- “I missed you too hun, i’m so sorry for leaving you..i shouldn’t have done that”

Chrollo- “Oh my love, don’t be sorry. I understand why you left. I know i’ve done some stupid shit, and i fucked up bad. I’ve realised what i did, and i want to make it up to you.”

Chrollo gave Y/N a loving smile, as she fell into his love again, smiling back at him with all the purity in that smile.

Y/N- “It’s okay, you don’t have to make it up to me at all. I fucked up too when i left you just like that. And just to let you know, i forgave you the second i left, i’ve missed you too much not to forgive you”

Chrollo- “I want to make it up to you, i want to show you how much i love you, how much you mean to me and how special you truly are. You’ve made my horrible life liveable, and i couldn’t thank you even more for doing that. You’re the love of my life Y/N, my absolute everything baby. And i want to give my wife the best birthday present today”

Y/N- “Oh darling, you remembered my birthday?”

Chrollo- “How could i not Y/N?”

Y/N- “You’re my everything Chrollo, i love you deeply. Thank you for not giving up on me”

Chrollo- “Thank you for not giving up on me Y/N. Even after i kept my drinking a secret, you came back didn’t you?”

Y/N- “That’s because i love you too much to leave you”

Chrollo- “I swear..i won’t drink again. And if i do, you can grab the 357 Magnum revolver in the back of the closet and shoot me in the head with it”

Y/N- “I won’t hesitate, but don’t make me yell at you again!”

They both laughed softly at Y/N’s words.

Chrollo- “Don’t worry, i won’t. I don’t like yelling, but the only sort of yelling i like is when you yell in bed-“

Y/N playfully hit his shoulder, as they both laughed even harder.

Y/N- “Stop with that!”

Chrollo- “Okay okay my darling girl~”

Y/N- “I love you Chrollo”

Chrollo- “Hmm..i love you too”

Y/N- “Awwh, but i love you more”

Chrollo- “No way, i love you even more”

Y/N- “No, i love you more than that”

Chrollo- “I love you most honey”

Chrollo took Y/N’s hand, his other hand caressing her cheek, as he left a soft kiss on her lips, sealing all their love and promises.

Chrollo- “How about we eat some food? I wanna celebrate my girl tonight”

He spun her around sweetly, smiling warmly at Y/N’s cute look on her face.

Y/N- “Hmm, i’d love that honey”

Chrollo- “How about you go and get dressed? I’ll set up dinner for the both of us”

Y/N nodded softly as she walked into their bedroom, leaving Chrollo to work on dinner. Once she walked in, she saw a beautifully studded crimson dress. It was laying on the bed, with some sets of jewellery beside it. She looked at the pretty dress, finding it so elegant. Absolutely stunning almost.

Chrollo- “Hey baby, you ready yet-…

..oh my fucking days.”

Y/N stepped out of their room, the dress flowing with her. The pearl jewellery hanging from her ears, and around her uncovered neck. Light makeup was covering her face, making her look so beautiful naturally as she always is.

Chrollo’s eyes filled with glitter as he looked at his beautiful wife right in front of his very eyes. She looked absolutely gorgeous, words couldn’t even express his love her Y/N.

Chrollo- “Oh my..”

Chrollo’s eyes filled with an infinite amount of love. Just looking at his wife made him feel so giddy on the inside.

Chrollo- “Damn..baby girl..you look so gorgeous”

Y/N laughed softly as she stepped towards him, tugging onto his clean black blazer. She loved the dress, and everything about it.

Y/N- “Had to play the part didn't i?”

Chrollo- “You play it beautifully darling..”

Y/N- “Thank you so much honey”

Chrollo- “I’ve prepared a special dinner for you. It’s your favourite..~”

Y/N awed at the savoury smelling food, as she sat down at their table. Chrollo sat opposite of her, his smile never leaving as he admired his wife, who was looking stunning.

Y/N- “This looks delicious baby”

Chrollo- “Dig in then, tell me how it tastes..”

Y/N grabbed her fork eagerly, taking a big ass bite from it. Her facial expression slowly changed as a salty taste overpowered her tongue, making her eyes squint slightly.

Chrollo- “So..how is it?”

Chrollo was so excited to see how Y/N was gonna react, he’d hope she would’ve loved it. However, Y/N gulped hard, swallowing the salty food. It took a lot of power to do so. Y/N have a sweet but fake smile, nodding slowly. Chrollo instantly knew, and started chuckling softly

Chrollo- “It’s bad right?”

Y/N- “Sorry…”

Chrollo- “Don’t be sorry, you know i’m not the best cook”

Y/N- “I’ll still try to finish it, i know you worked hard on it”

Chrollo blushed at Y/N’s kindness. He always loved how selfless she was.

Y/N managed to finish the food, since she didn’t want Chrollo to be upset at all. She knew he was pretty sensitive. He cleared up their plates, and took Y/N by her waist, his arms wrapped around tight.

Chrollo- “Okay darling..let’s get that gift for you alright?”

Y/N- “Awwh honey..you know i don’t need any gifts. I have everything i need right here..”

Y/N left a soft kiss on his collar bone, looking up slightly as his glowing eyes and his peachy cheeks.

Chrollo- “But..but i wanted to, so let me give it”

Chrollo opened the drawer, taking out a book. Writen on the front was, ‘My first and only love, Y/N’.

Chrollo- “Happy birthday darling..”

Chrollo handed the book over to her, as she smiled softly.

Y/N- “Thank you lovely”

Y/N took the book, flicking through the pages. It held their six years of friendship and soon, four years love. Ten years in total. Chrollo’s first look at her, their university days. Confession. First date, one month anniversary to their four year anniversary, to their birthdays. Y/N’s eyes filled with tears, as the words on there were just the most adoring thing she’s ever seen.

Y/N- “Oh baby..Chrollo i can’t..”

Y/N felt tears trickle down her cheeks, her heart beating hard against her chest as Chrollo looked at her with the most devoted eyes he’s ever given. He softly wiped the tears coming from her eyes, wiping the ones welling up in his own.

It’s like, whenever she sees Chrollo, a rush of cingulomania drills through her body. Chrollo could see it in her eyes as they shared a kitten hug, their paws surrounded one another’s, bodies intertwined like tails.

Y/N- “You really thought this of me?”

Chrollo- “Of course i did, from the moment i met you, i know you’d be the girl of my dreams. From when you tutored me back in university, to this very birthday of yours. I’ve loved you since, and i plan on doing that forever. Till the day i die and beyond that.”

Y/N- “You’re just the sweetest Chrollo, i’ll love you forever too. There’s not a day i don’t love you, miss you, or want to hug and appreciate you. Forever honey, i will give you everything my heart can give”

Chrollo- “Everything..?”

Chrollo’s eyes lit up with affection, just hearing the word everything meant so much to him. The things his wife would do for him..the risks she’ll take...just to make him feel so cared for.

Y/N- “Everything baby”

Chrollo- “Well..in that case..”

Chrollo leaned her against the countertop, his eyes glistening with pure love. His smile was so addictive to watch, his tongue slowly grazing against his teeth.

Chrollo- “That makes me want to give you everything too.”

Y/N put her hands on his hips, her eyes softening to his words

Y/N- “I’d love that”

Chrollo- “Can i..? Can we….?”

Y/N thought Chrollo was adorable. His shy tone all of a sudden. She typically liked how he asked for her permission.

Y/N- “Hmm, i wouldn’t disagree anyways”

Chrollo- “Thats my girl, come here”

He put his hand of Y/N’s cheek, leaning to give her the sweetest most passionate kiss he could give. Y/N kissed him back with that same passion and love, the deepness of it pulsing through their veins. It was addictive, their lips suffocating one another’s.

Chrollo- “My my baby, you never fail to shock me with these sweet and soft lips of yours”

Y/N laughed softly at his words, her cheeks blushing profoundly as they kissed deeply again. Her teeth softly sunk into Chrollo’s bottom lip as he let out a soft moan. He put his arms around your waist tighter, Y/N’s back arching slightly as she put the same intensity into the affectionate kiss.

Chrollo gently rocked her hips against his, as if they were dancing to the rhythms of their tongues painting each other’s mouths with saliva and the pure sweetness. Y/N put her hands around his neck, as they both shuffled towards their bedroom.

Y/N- “Why do i know where this is going?”

Chrollo- “Because you’re a smart woman, you know what comes next”

Chrollo said that with playfulness, his smirk becoming more noticeable as they closed and locked the bedroom door behind them. In those closed doors, Chrollo increased the intensity, moving his plump lips down to Y/N’s uncovered neck. He nibbled on her soft skin, tasting what he could grab almost like a rabid animal.

Y/N let out soft pants, just letting her husband go wild on her. She liked it when he was harsh with her. Chrollo began to unbuckle his belt, the noises being loud and reckless as his lips never seemed to get tired of her smooth skin.

Y/N was fully uncovered by the time they made it to the bed, Chrollo moving his eyes all around her gorgeous body. He caressed her waist, his lips softly kissing hers with the same love as lust.

Chrollo- “Darling, you know how to get me going don’t you?”

His fingers moved to her inner thighs, as he smirked with his lips curving slowly. Chrollo’s tone was so teasing, Y/N was only in ecstasy with his touch all around her.

Chrollo- “Wet enough to get me going too. Oh you’re just perfect aren’t you baby?”

Y/N’s cheeks felt a rosy tint surrounding them, as his fingers made it to her sensitive area, her hands gripping onto Chrollo’s back. Just his touch was enough to make her go crazy.

Y/N- “Darling..b-baby, please..”

Chrollo- “Please what honey? Tell me what you want?”

Only suiting Y/N’s needs would make Chrollo feel fulfilled. That’s all that mattered to him. His lovely wife. That’s all

Y/N- “Please..i need you..”

Oh her voice was so sensual, Chrollo’s eyes only filled with even more love as he grinned seductively at her.

Chrollo- “Come here then”

He hovered above her properly, taking off his boxers as his cock was revealed. The hard length only made Y/N gulp hard, wanting and needed him deep inside of her. Just the thought of it made her moan aloud, making Chrollo raise his eyebrows slightly.

Chrollo teased her with his cock, as Y/N only wanted to force him to finally give her what she wanted. His eyes only filled with playful tease, as her eyes filled with horny desperation.

Chrollo- “Okay okay, i’ll stop teasing you. I’ll give the birthday girl what she wants now”

He finally spreaded her legs, entering her, after what felt like ages. He first helped Y/N adjust to his hard length. Chrollo felt the immediate warmth of Y/N, as he groaned in such a deep tone. His head leant on her shoulder, as he thrusted slowly in and out of her.

Y/N swore she was getting wetter and wetter, her eyes rolling to the back of her head as pure pleasure ran through her body. She felt Chrollo’s hot breath on her shoulder as he planted soft kisses there.

Chrollo- “Oh-my fucking god Y/N..the things you do to me. Fuck..”

He whispered horny curses in her ear, the sound on their skin slapping and his cock pounded in and out of her making Y/N’s head spin

Y/N- “Babe..Chrollo, more more”

Chrollo only increased his pace and harshness, thrusting nice and deep inside of Y/N, his hands caressing her stomach ever so softly. He let out loud groans, his ears being blessed with his wife’s sensual moans.

Chrollo- “Fuck, fuck..you’re so warm, you feel so so good baby”

His dirty talk only got better and his harshness and pace only increased as well. He felt sweat drip down his back as he continued to rhythmically pound into Y/N.

Her eyes filled with tears, any sort of pain being completely destroyed by the pleasure of Chrollo’s cock.

Y/N- “Mmh, i love it..baby, harder for me”

Chrollo only did as Y/N wished, crashing in and out of Y/N. It only got him more rowdy as her moans only repeated in his ear. He worshipped her body, her in general.

Chrollo- “I love you honey”

Y/N- “I love you too baby”

They eyes met, as they shared sweet kisses, they lips entangled like their legs as the pleasure kept on going like a repeating music box.

Y/N- “I-I’m close darling..”

Chrollo- “Come with me baby, i’m here”

They both finished, satisfied with the pleasurable high that lasted enough to make their bodies so tired. Chrollo latched onto Y/N, his hands on her waist as he caught his breath

Chrollo- “You never fail to please me baby”

Y/N giggled a little, as she caught her breath back too, her widened legs now resting on the mattress, feeling numb.

Y/N- “God, my legs..are on fire..”

She said with a breathy tone, letting out a soft laughter as Chrollo laid beside her, letting out a little chuckle as well.

Chrollo- “That doesn’t mean there won’t be a round two”

Y/N’s eyes slightly widened, as she let out a laugh, her eyes being kept on Chrollo’s lips, perhaps wanting to kiss them again to lead into another dangerous round of sex.

Y/N leaned into his ear, her tone being really flirty as she then said..

Y/N- “Give me all you got”

Chrollo’s eyes lit up with neediness, biting his bottom lips seductively.

Chrollo- “Oh you’re so naughty..”

Later that night..

After finishing their final round of sex, Y/N laid on top of Chrollo’s body, her fingers caressing his hard abs. She then left chaste kisses on each one, Chrollo letting out little pants.

Chrollo- “You feel tired?”

Y/N- “Very..”

Chrollo- “Come honey, sleep for the rest of the night. I’ll help you bathe tomorrow morning okay?”

Y/N nodded as she cuddled into Chrollo’s warm embrace, their love being exemplified just by their loving hugs. The redamancy was evident, as they looked into each other’s mitten eyes.

Chrollo- “I love you so so much Y/N..”

Y/N- “I love you even more Chrollo”

Chrollo- “Don’t play with me Y/N, i love you most”

Y/N chuckled softly, letting him win this time around, as they kissed for the final time that night. Y/N’s eyes were shut tight, as Chrollo admired her pretty facial features.

Oh how much i fucking love her.

Her eyes when i look into them, her beautiful face when i admire her

Please don’t leave me Y/N

Chrollo closed his eyes, feeling rather safe and protected with his wife next to him in their own love nest. His mind went a little more blank, the warmth and comfort being his shield as they both slept in one another’s dreams as per usual.

—————————————————————————

And…that’s a wrap.

That was a cringey line, but nonetheless, i hope you enjoyed this FF.

Again, Happy birthday @y6ruu Have an amazing bday and i hope you loved the story

Also..shout out to @mimikinn My biggest fan, i had to include you at one point hun.

You both are my biggest fans, thank you for the support <333

ANDDD. Thank you all so so so much for all the likes and support, you’re support makes me want to write more and more so i’ll do my absolute best to provide some good shit for y’all

Please feel free to request any stories you’d like to see. I do SMUT and FLUFF. I tried to do ANGST in this one, and i hope i succeeded 😭

Anyways, goodbye my lovelies, i love you all very muchh

reii

[justhere4kpop]

Chapter 10: Part 2

w/c: 1114

(+18!!! Smut Warning)

I showed up at their dorms, it was probably about 2am. Yes I know I’m crazy for still being awake but I work long hours editing photos and things. I have a lot to do for these crazy guys. I made sure to text Yunho I was here so I didn’t knock too loud and wake someone up, not that they would mind but I didn’t need to disturb anyone’s sleep schedule. The dark brown door opened up and Yunho stood there a shy smile on his face, typical hair, you know….what wasn’t typical was the fact that there was absolutely no shirt in sight, the only thing this man had on was his black sweatpants hanging loosely on his hips.

“Uh…hi.” I whispered staring at my shirtless boyfriend.

“Thank you for coming over.” he pulled me in with a quick hug and inhaled deeply.

“Did you just sniff my hair?” I poked him lightly.

“No, just…I’m sorry………..Movie?” he changed the subject and moved us to the couch.

He turned on a Harry Potter movie, but he also kept fidgeting and he was getting touchy, his hand was on my inner thigh, he was leaning on my shoulder giving it light pecks when he could. 

“Yun? You gonna actually tell me why I’m here? I know I didn’t come over here to watch a Harry Potter movie at 2am because you definitely wouldn’t have asked if it wasn’t important.”

“It’s not important.”

“Yunho…rule number one?” I shifted so I was facing him and he just leaned in and kissed me.

“I couldn’t stop thinking about you baby.” he sighed holding my face. “I just wanted to see you.”

“Yu, are you telling me you had a wet dream?” I chuckled aware of him pressing into me slightly.

“I’m sorry.” he sighed.

“Honestly I’m flattered.” I smiled. “I uh…didn’t know you thought about me like that.”

“This….isn’t the first time.” he blushed. “But I couldn’t….No matter what I did I couldn’t help it.”

“That bad huh? Maybe you shouldn’t have worn those sweatpants.”

“Huh? What’s wrong with my sweatpants?” he frowned.

“Absolutely nothing.” I kissed him and leaned forward, he pulled my leg over his lap so I was straddling him, he practically moaned at just the pressure. It wasn’t until now I could gauge how hard he was, he was definitely having a good dream.

“Fuck.” he whimpered and dragged my hips lightly across his lap. “Baby.”

“Yu” I looked at him and held his wrist. “Everyone’s here…we can’t…they don’t want to hear it.”

“I really don’t care.” he groaned. “About them listening…I care about your opinion please don’t get the wrong idea baby.”

“I got it Goober.” I carded my fingers through his hair. “It’s late Yunho, as much as I want to-” I picked his head up from where it hung. “And trust me I do. It’s late, you have work at 7am.”

“I’ll be okay.” he nodded.

“Let me just help you, after all, I owe you part 2.” I smiled and kissed him. “Besides you don’t want our real first time to be some booty call on the couch to a movie we aren’t even watching. Let me take care of you again.”

“You always do.” he smiled and let go of my hips.

I slid off his lap and onto my knees in front of him. I untied those cursed sweatpants that were now taunting me. He lifted his hips up and I slid down the waistband to his calves. Holy Fuck….I don’t know whether to be concerned he wasn’t wearing underwear or worry about how badly my jaw is gonna hurt tomorrow.

“Cat got your tongue pretty girl?” he smirked suddenly full of confidence.

“Shit maybe it’s my birthday too.” I leaned forward bringing my hand up to wrap around the base of his hard cock. I gave it a few pumps watching his head fall back and the tip stand up straighter. “Damn you still growing big boy?”

“All for you baby.” he hissed feeling my hand squeeze him gently. “Fuck your hand feels so much better than mine.” he whispered trying desperately to not let anyone else know.

I tilted my head to let out a few kitten licks on his tip, the way he jerked forward when I did so tells me he’s been pent up for a while. I finally opened my mouth to bring him in, oh yeah my jaw is so gonna be sore tomorrow, I’ve gotten just past the tip and I can feel my lips stretching around him, okay breathe through your nose and relax. I slid down further until he almost hit the back of my throat.

“Mingi know you’re so good at this?” he chuckled. “God.”

I pulled off him with a lewd pop. “Trust me I know how to take care of my baby.” I winked. “He lets out the sweetest little noises trying to be quiet sometimes.” 

“Show me how you take care of him then.” he pushed my head slightly, he was testing a boundary, his jealousy was showing. 

Yunho was jealous, he’d never hurt me and he knows how much I care about him, but in this moment I was his, no one else.

“That’s it baby.” he rasped and pushed my head lightly. “Come on good girl, you can take it, I know you can.” 

I relaxed my jaw further and he finally entered my throat, I initially had gagged around him fuck he’s big, he and Mingi both. Damn…What have I gotten myself into.

“Fuck just like that.” he smiled and snapped a few photos when I looked up at him. “Shit you’re gonna make me cum.”

I swallowed around him and sank as far down as I comfortably could. My jaw burned at this point but I couldn’t stop, the look on his face, it said “You’re mine.” in the best way possible. I didn’t know he was this vocal either. He rubbed the side of my jaw and helped me relax it just as his hips began to buck up slightly chasing his own high.

“Baby, right there.” he groaned and held me still as he came hotly down the back of my throat. “Fuck fuck fuck.” he stilled and finally let go of my hair. I swallowed around him one last time making him jump and yelp a little at the sensitivity. I pulled off and helped him pull up his pants.

“You okay?” he reached over and rubbed my cheek.

“Mmhmm.” I nodded still catching my breath. “I don’t usually swallow.” I rasped out, my throat sore.

“Happy Birthday to me.” he chuckled.

~~~~~~~

~Prev

a/n: I got a little carried away while writing....I promise there is already a Mingi focus chapter brewing, also I hope I implied it correctly that this isn't the first time they've fooled around, any of them. My story isn't meant to be a step by step timeline, it'll jump around and through their relationship.

taglist: @legohwas, @gxlden-bxbyy

[berryyuni]

secrets i have held in my heart - pjs

✿ after arguing for the nth time with your boyfriend, you turn to your best friend, jay, for comfort. little did you know, this would only open the window for more things to happen.

pairing - bsf!jay x fem! reader genre - friends to lovers, fluff, angst wc - 1.1k warnings - cheating, kissing, cursing, pet names, reader has argument with her boyfriend

tiana's note 🎀 - this is written for @bywons on our love event ! <3 and this was inspired by i wanna be yours by arctic monkeys !

౨ৎ reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated !! <3 ✧˖° ... (library)

you sat on your bed, leaning against your headboard with your knees pulled close to your chest. you once again had an argument with your boyfriend. it felt like you could never have a normal conversation without it turning into a fight resulting in him ignoring you for days, leaving you all alone with your doubts and insecurities… leaving you to clean up the mess. 

well, actually you weren’t alone. you had your best friend, jay. he’s someone who’s always been there for you whenever you had a hard time with your boyfriend. whatever it was you needed him for, he would drop everything just to make sure you’re okay. he’s seen you go through it all, from all the tears, anger, and even joy. it’s quite embarrassing to be honest. with him being on this crazy rollercoaster with you, you sometimes wonder how he puts up with this chaos. you even wonder if he ever regrets being friends with you considering all the things you tell him. whatever it is, you’re grateful for jay. without him, you might’ve actually drove yourself into insanity with all this conflict.

“again i’m really sorry for calling you over so late at night. i wasn’t really thinking straight.” you said sheepishly, picking at your fingers.

jay sat in front of you, playing with the teddy bear he had gotten you for your birthday. it’s become a habit of his to just hold it whenever he comes over. “i’d never leave you hanging. you already know that, y/n.” he reminded you gently.

“i know, but it’s silly.” you groaned, “you’re always having to put up with me and my bullshit. it must be exhausting for you having to hear this all the time.”

“not at all. and it’s not silly,” he said, putting your teddy bear down. he put his hand on your knee causing you to look up at him. he offers you a comforting smile as he rubbed his thumb against your knee. “i’m your best friend, it’s my job to be by your side when you need me no matter what the situation is.”

it physically pained jay having to use the term “best friend”. he always wishes that you and him were something more. jay loves you so much that it hurts. but, that doesn’t seem possible with your current situation with your boyfriend. you love your boyfriend despite all the shit you have to go through with him. you’re too blinded by love to find a way out and jay understood that. no matter how hard jay tried to reason with you, you wouldn’t budge. besides, it wasn’t really his place to interfere with you and your relationship. so the only thing he can do is offer you his love and support.

you gave jay a tired smile before saying, “i don’t know what i should do, jay. i’m tired of the same thing happening over and over again,” you felt defeated. you’re tired of fighting. “it’s starting to feel like we’re fighting just to fight.”

jay stayed silent, letting you get all your thoughts out. you needed this. “maybe… i’m the problem,” jay’s head perked up as soon as he processed what you said, “maybe i’m just not capable of being loved…”

“y/n,” jay interrupted, making sure you couldn’t get another word out. he couldn’t stand hearing you be so harsh on yourself. “don’t ever say that about yourself. don’t let that piece of shit make you think you don’t deserve anything less.” his words were stern yet his tone was soft, making sure not to startle you. 

silence filled the air. neither of you knew what to say next.

jay hesitated for a moment, choosing his next words carefully. “do you want my honest answer, angel?”

a part of you knew what he was going to say next. you hated that he even had to say it. you should already know by now. you hesitantly nodded, giving him the “okay” to continue.

“he doesn’t deserve someone as amazing as you. you shouldn’t be with someone like him. he treats you like shit. you’re the sweetest person i know… you deserve someone who loves you for you and is willing to do anything for you.”

you took a moment to reflect on his words, staring down at your lap. you couldn’t look at jay. “do you really think that?”

jay grabbed your hand, rubbing your skin gently. “i know it, y/n. you deserve someone that’ll treat you like a princess.”

an unfamiliar feeling formed in your stomach as you felt a blush creep up on your face. you felt butterflies fluttering. this is new… why is this happening to you? “you know jay,” you started, he hummed in response, “your future girlfriend will be very lucky to have someone like you by their side… you’re literally everything a girl wants in a lover,” you debated on finishing your thought, but you did anyway, “you’re everything i want…” 

“then have me,” you hear jay say. snapping your head up, you meet his eyes, “i’m all yours, y/n.”

“i don’t understand…”

“i want to be the one that makes you happy. i want to be the reason why you have a smile on your face. i want to be the one who loves you unconditionally…”

your heart felt like it was going to beat out of your chest. you didn’t think jay would feel this way about you. you never even spared it a thought. you couldn’t help but feel a little silly for not noticing it any sooner. 

“you don’t need to have an answer right now,” he continued, “i just-“ jay pauses, not knowing what else to say. the energy in the room changed. jay’s touch lingered on your hands. you stare at him, the space between you growing smaller and smaller.

“i do want you, jay,” you whispered. now it was jay’s turn to be surprised. before he could respond, he felt your lips against his. his breath hitches. you began to wonder if this was all a mistake but that thought leaves as soon as you felt him kiss back. a wave of relief washes over you, maybe this was what you needed this whole time.

the kiss between you intensifies. jay’s hands cupped your face, cherishing this moment between you. nothing else mattered to him as of now. once you ran out of air, you pulled away, resting your foreheads together.

“wha-“ you were cut off with another kiss. this time, jay being more confident and sure. he knew what he wanted and that was you.

finally pulling away, you search jay’s eyes for answers. “what are we supposed to do now? he’s going to be so upset once he finds out…” you whispered, your voice filled with fear.

“we’ll figure this out i promise,” jay reassured, he brushes his thumb against your cheek, “i won’t leave you with him.”

you nodded, fully trusting jay. for the first time in awhile, you felt certain that everything will be okay. as long as you have jay by your side. 

©berryyuni 2024. all work is written by me. do not copy, translate or repost

taglist (open): @suneng @j-jinxee @miniature-tragedy @ikeuzsn @laylasbunbunny

[ella-animine]

I’m sad.

I’m really sad.

And I’m not sure what bitching about it here is going to do but if I hold it inside of me it will make me want to explode and I will not feel any better. So I might as well let it float off into the ether here.

I am very sad and very unhappy. I am trying very hard to be upbeat and keep my arms wide and my heart open but it is getting harder to believe that things will work out

I haven’t been truly happy for a long time. I have bits where things are okay, where it’s easier to be hopeful, but it feels like I keep getting let down and shit on

I didn’t graduate happy, I didn’t move into my first place happy, didn’t get a job happy, didn’t make friends happy. I certainly didn’t quit my job happy, or stay unemployed for months happy, but I hoped things would be better when I got a new job, moved to a new city, near my brother who I hadn’t really seen in years (bc he’s always busy) in his house even. I was very hopeful, held my head up and promised things were going to be better, that I would make a good life for myself and my cat.

But it’s been some time, work is dull and I’m not making any new friends despite trying everything that people reccomend, my brother is still too busy, and when he’s not busy he seems to always have an excuse for why he can’t spend time with me. I don’t have a place I can live with my cat bc of a brilliant hairbrained scheme by my brother’s girlfriend that is taking an actual eternity to turn around

And all of that I had been able to deal with. Deep breaths, wishing on stars and 11:11, crossing my fingers at Angel numbers, all the things that couldn’t hurt, even a few strategically planned cries.

But this week has been hard, as I plan and prepare a birthday party, for my brother’s girlfriend, and think longingly of how badly I want a birthday party. I haven’t had a birthday party in a long time. The last one I did eek out wasn’t even full of my friends. They were someone else’s. Someone who’s dead to me. I didn’t even really have a good time.

But I want a birthday party. I never get a birthday party. My birthday is always too close to Thanksgiving, usually the best I can hope for is some cupcakes after dinner with just my parents(my brother hasn’t been to a Thanksgiving with us in a long time) or a candle in the green bean casserole.

And I’m bending over backwards to make this party happen, and I just know this year will be another uneventful, unassuming birthday. They’re coming back from a cruise that day. The only people I know in the whole city, and they’re coming back from a vacation on my birthday. I can’t even say for certain they’ll be home THAT DAY. They may be back in the wee hours of the night. I may not even get to go to my parents for a single candle in a casserole.

And I’m angry. At my brother, at the world, at myself, at everything. For a lot of things.

But more than anything I’m sad

Because I want to believe that things will get better, and that it won’t be like this forever.

But every extra lonely and sad birthday with no one around it gets harder to hope that things will ever be different.

And every time I scrape myself up and tape the broken parts of my heart, it seems like I get punched in the gut again

So I’m gonna cry myself to sleep and try to put on a brave face for this birthday/Halloween weekend. Because no one will appreciate it if I show how I feel.

And I feel sad

[wherethehellisderrymaine]

March Wrap Up

Books the girl form the other side vol. 1 to 11 - finished kimetsu no yaiba el queso y los gusanos 

Music ROLE MODEL pink floyd olivia rodrigo taylor swift 1975 sabina

Events 01: GOT MY PERIOD  saw nico and talked about my situation. it made me angry remembering how much it hurts. how used i felt, forgotten, left alone, disrespected and played around by the last person i though (not even imagened actually) could do that to me. BUT it also made me realize that i am not ready to let him go. I REALLY want to feel loved and taken care of by him. 

then i went to fetch him from work and i saw her. i had a bit of anxiety and my legs were shaking. she’s so pretty it makes me mad. she’s skinny, tall, she has nice legs, shiny traight hair, she wears cool clothes... she’s pretty and cool and she got to attract him and that hurts. I still can’t get over that. I cannot not compare myself with her. I don’t hate her though, I actually wanted to wave at her and say a polite “hi” from afar; but she didn’t make eye contact with me. she just walked around all pretty and with her head held high. I want to be able to do that and not hold any grudges against anyone. i want to be mature and confident. 

we went to the park to have mates, we saw many dogs and talked a lot, then we listened to pink floyd (i really liked it) on his vynil player, made dinner and watched shingeki drinkin gin tonics. It was a good night and that makes me hopeful.

02: organice the last days of holidays. 

03: lucho is sad bc I’m sad we went to the glamping - it was TERRIBLE, i will never go back BUT it was fun. we talked a lot, we listened to music, we drank lots of beer, he made a bbq and it was delicious and we had sex twice. I felt a lot closer to him even though I still feel hurt when I see him. But as he said, what happened, happened. It’s over for him and it will be over for me. I really feel like i¡m getting better. I don’t know what will happen but I know we will be ok, either together or alone. 

04: breakfast at croissant  watched shingeki and cried watched the lord of the rings 2 went to the market  slept early bc iw as feeling a little sick.  lari got mad at me for not going to her new house. i’ll go next week. 

05: race day . it sucked  thought a lot about my feelings and my future - i wanna work on myself. i need to move out and have my own space and my own routine. i desperatly need it. 

06: back at work - i’m anxious  a few issues but everything went great 

12: lucho’s mother’s birthday - i felt strange being there but it was a good step forward for me.

i feel lost from time to time and i’m scared of him bc i don’t know if he’s going to play with me again. 

15: sabina’s conert- i loved it. i was really nervous about it b i wanted my mother to come and she wasn’t going to but she did. 

i still feel conflicted about my relationship even though it seems to be going better. i still can’t fully get over waht happened. i’m still angry and hurt and i don’t trust him completely. 

16-22: i’ve been feeling really tired this week also stressed: people who know him said things about him, about his self before me and the comments were like “be careful, he is toxic, he likes going out with lost of women” and that’s ok. i don’t think that’s the person that i fell for. we both talked about our toxic traits and we are both working on them. i’m just cared to end up like one of his exes and him not wanting to have anything to do with me. 

it’s terrifying to trust in someone who has the power to do anything they want with you. i don’t want him to hurt me again bc i don’t wanna be the one who ends up hating him. 

watched lots of videos from Sam and Colby

23: super tired

 i woke up feeling like shit. super sad and insecure. i wrtoe here and cried fora while, which helped me to feel better.  lucho read the post and fel bad. i get it and i hope he believes me when i tell him that i really love him and that i’m with him bc i want to share my life with him. it’s taking me a bit long to get over what happened but i am proud if us and I have hope for the future. 

24: shopping and date night with lucho i am greatful for him. he is very patient and willing to see and understand my point of view. he respects my ways of dealing with this and chooses to truste me. i’ll keep on getting better for the both of us.  we wnet to the cinema, to bruder and then to a hotel. we had lots of sex and relaxed. we needed that.  he gives me a lot of peace and that’s one of the many reasons why i love him,

25: we watched “te lo resumo”’s movie and it was great.  we cleaned the ouse and the he brought me home before he got together with his friends. 

-- me di cuenta de que me cuesta mucho confiar. en general. confiar en que no me van a mentir, que no me van a usar, que me eligen de verdad, confiar en el “a largo plazo”. nunca quise algo asi con nadie y ahora sí, lo cual me aterra pero a la vez lo necesito. quiero estar con él todos los dias, quiero que compartamos un lugar, que tengamos una rutina, poder abrazarlo a la noche, volver a él o que él vuelva a mí. 

27: fui a visitarlo al trabajo porque lo extraño un monton. tambien pase por su casa a dejarle el regalo de pascua y el poema que le escribi ayer.  me siento diferente. sé que mis maneras de lidiar con lo que me pasa no son las mejores, pero cada que vez hablamos, me siento más segura. me da miedo no hacerlo feliz realmente y que este cansado de estar conmigo. no quiero que “me tolere” como dice taylor swift. quiero hacerlo feliz. 

31: feeling a lot better about my relationship with lucho. things are easing up at home and i feel more at peace.  i just have to find a balance between my friends and him because i tend to give all my attention my my partners and that is not ok. also, that’s one of the thingd i wanna achieve this year. 

off topic: i’ve been feeling super tired lately. 

[friendly-neighborhood-imbecille]

Guys that bind

1500 words

Summary: Johnny fixes Danny’s binder.

There hadn’t been any ghost attacks in a couple days, and usually that would be amazing. A chance to hang out with his friends, or get some extra sleep, or even work on schoolwork. But it was winter break. There was no schoolwork to do, he already had plenty of time to sleep, his parents were constantly fighting, and with Tucker visiting his grandparents for a couple days and Sam spending the break in Portugal of all places, there was absolutely nothing to do except aimlessly float around town. 

So of course when Danny’s ghost sense went off, he was happy, excited even, to have to find out what caused it. Luckily, he didn’t have to search long. 

“Yo kid!” A snowball hit him square in the face. He wiped it off and looked around for the source before Johnny appeared from thin air right in front of him. “Up for a spar?”

“Sure.” He chirped before taking a closer look at Johnny. The guy looked like crap, his glow was dimmed a bit and there were slight bags under his eyes. “Dude, you don’t look too good. Whappened? Kitty break up with you again?”

Johnny charged up an ectoblast and started throwing it back and forth between his hands like a bouncy ball. “Naw, I think I forgot something important. Maybe an anniversary?” He tossed the blast at Danny who dodged and turned invisible before flying forward and throwing a punch at Johnny’s face. “Not the first date, or the first kiss, or our deathday.” He dodged the punch and kicked upwards, hitting Danny in the stomach, shocking him into turning visible. 

“Birthday?” Danny asked, clutching his stomach and dropping a bit to shoot an ecto blast at Johnny from underneath. 

“Last month.” He answered, shooting a blast from a finger gun at the blast Danny had made, knocking it off course, then dropping to try to bodyslam Danny. 

Danny zoomed out of the way, and threw a blast at Johnny that he wasn’t quick enough to avoid. “Didn’t people used to do this whole big thing with a ring when they asked someone to be their partner? Could it be that?”

Johnny flew up and tried to punch the kid, but Danny turned intangible just in time for the fist to sail right through his head. “Fuck, that’s probably it. Date?”

Danny grabbed the fist and flung Johnny towards the ground. “It’s the seventeenth.”

Johnny shot up, barely catching himself before he hit the ground, then accelerated before twisting around to slam into Danny with his back. “Of what?”

Danny turned intangible, letting Johnny sail right through him. “Seriously?”

Johnny stopped his ascent and turned around to throw a couple ecto blasts at Danny, who lazily floated around them to avoid getting hit. “Kid, just tell me.”

Danny tapped his chin in mock thought. “Hmmmm, judging by the weather, the decorations all around us and the literal Christmas songs being played loud enough for us to hear from all the way over here, gosh I don’t know. Maybe it’s December?”

“Fuck, I’m an idiot.” Johnny facepalmed. 

“I’ll say.” Danny moved to hover on his stomach in front of Johnny and flicked him in the forehead. “Who the heck forgets what month it is?”

“Oh shut up.” Johnny grabbed him by the back of his suit, and flung him down to the ground. Danny, not expecting It, didn’t have time to stop his fall. “Oh shit, what was that?”

“What was what?” Danny asked, picking himself up off the ground and brushing dirt off of himself. 

“I felt a rip.” Johnny lowered himself to the ground to look Danny over for injuries. “I didn’t seriously hurt ya there, did…” He trailed off looking shocked. “Kid? Why do you have tits?”

“I have, uh, oh.” Danny quickly crossed his arms over his chest and hunched his back to try to hide them, but it didn’t really work that well with how form fitting his jumpsuit was. “Um, costume party?”

Johnny didn’t look too convinced. “Oh yeah? What’s the costume?”

“Me? No. My clone?”

“Wait a second.” Johnny held out his hands, cutting Danny off. “Are you one of those gender swappers?”

“What?”

Johnny sighed and put his hand on Danny’s shoulder. “Now kid, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Even I sometimes want to be a chick. The fancy dresses, the makeup, I haven’t quite figured out how to manifest boobs yet. Props to you for figuring that out in your first year though?”

“Huh?”

“I’m sure we could find some girl stuff for you, and if you ever want to change your name-“

Danny frantically waved his hands in front of himself. “Hold on, there’s been a bit of a misunderstanding here. I don’t want to be a girl.”

Johnny paused, confused. “You don’t?”

“No.”

“Then what’s with that?” He pointed towards Danny’s chest, Danny immediately crossed his arms again to try and hide it. 

“I think you ripped my binder.”

“Your what?”

Danny paused for a second to think. “A binder. It’s, uh, an article of clothing, it flattens them so it looks like I don’t have them.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

They trailed off into an awkward silence before a look of realization washed over Johnny’s face. “I can fix it.”

“What?”

He sat down on the floor and grabbed a little box out of one of his coat pockets, reaching his other hand out towards Danny. “Here, hand it over.”

Danny turned his hand intangible and grabbed the binder through his jumpsuit and inspected it for a few seconds, looking over the damage, before hesitantly tossing it over to Johnny. Johnny opened the box and pulled out a needle and a spool of white thread. He fed the thread through the needle and pulled, measuring the length with his arm and cutting the thread from the spool with his teeth before separating the two ends to let them untwist themselves, and tying them together. “You’re really fucking lucky it only ripped at the seam.”

“What’s that mean?” Danny lowered himself down to hover in a sitting position just above ground. 

“It means I’m just replacing stitches instead of adding new ones. There’s already a seam allowance here. There wouldn’t be a seam allowance if the fabric itself had ripped.”

“I have no clue what any of that means.”

“I’m gonna have to teach you how to sew then, or have someone else teach ya. It’s a valuable life skill, like cooking or cleaning or first aid.”

“I already know how to sew. Just, not fabric.”

“Sewing fabric and flesh are two different skills. Just because you know one doesn’t mean you know both.” Johnny reached the end of the rip and started to go back over the stitches he had already made. 

They waited in silence for a bit while Johnny continued sewing the binder and Danny flicked rocks on the ground before Danny thought of another conversation starter. “So what did you mean back there?”

“About what?”

“Manifesting boobs?”

Johnny paused in his sewing for a bit to think. “Oh yeah, it’s a type of body manipulation, like how you can make your limbs and shit go all stretch armstrong. You can do that, right?”

“Yeah?”

“Alright, so with a bit of practice, you’ll be able to like, change your appearance for long periods of time. Like, you’re tricking your body into believing that that’s its natural state. I’m not that good at it, I’m still figuring out how to stretch myself, but if you ask around I’m sure someone would be able to help you out.” Johnny tied off the end of the string with the beginning before biting off the excess thread with the needle attached. 

“That should probably hold pretty well, I mean, I did use close stitches and go around twice, so it shouldn’t break again anytime soon. But are you sure you should be fighting in this thing kid? Most of this fabric doesn’t seem too stretchy.” He held out the binder in front of him, making a show of trying, and failing to stretch it before tossing it over to Danny, hitting him in the face with it. 

“Gee, thanks. Suddenly worried for my safety huh?” Danny snarked as he grabbed the binder from his face. 

“Yeah, I mean, you are part human right? Or have I been misunderstanding this whole-” He gestured towards Danny. “Situation?”

“Yeah, but I’m still a ghost, so I don’t need to breathe and whatever damage it causes will just fix itself in like, an hour. You really don’t have to worry about it, I’ll be fine.”

Johnny looked at him skeptically before relenting. “If you say so. Shit, anniversary! Gotta get kitty something. You wouldn’t happen to know-” 

Danny pointed down the street. “Three blocks that way, on your left, candy store. Turn right and two more blocks, toystore. They sell plushies.”

“Thanks, kid. And be careful!”Johnny yelled as he ran off. 

“I’ll try.”

[blooming-violets]

OMG congrats on 1k followers! love the bingo writing game you came up with.

I would like to request the angstiest angst with the car accident prompt from the hurt/comfort card 🥳

Play TASM Writing Bingo [here]

Car Accident

[tasm!peter x reader]

A/N: I am not a paramedic or a doctor. Don’t take anything I write in here about spinal injuries/car accident trauma seriously lol idk what I’m talking about i’m making shit up as i go 

TW: it’s a car accident so there’s serious injuries and mentions of blood and death 

“Hey, Pete, there’s some chaos going on in the subway station outside my work. I’m watching from my window. Do you know what’s going on?”

Peter swung through the city with one hand while his other held his phone clutched to his ear, “I’m on my way there now. Heard about it on the scanner. A train derailed. No clue how bad it is or if anyone is hurt but I’m going to find out.”

It was pouring rain and he was having trouble focusing with his soaking wet mask glued to his face. Twice he had almost slammed face first into the side of a building because he wasn’t paying attention. “Baby, I gotta go. I need both hands for this. You’re distracting me. Take a taxi home today. Too wet to walk that far.” 

He hung up the phone without saying goodbye or letting her get in another word. It wasn’t his intention to be that blunt or brush her off but he was in a hurry. There was too much rain and his mind was already in fifty different places at once. He knew she was just curious and worried something was wrong but he didn’t need her as an added distraction. Peter turned his focus to the task at hand and swung himself in the direction of the derailed train. 

He could see a handful of ambulances outside of the station. The crowd of people were being backed up and placed behind police barriers. As he swung overhead, he could sense her down there. He could always sense her in a crowd. She was the first person his eyes were always drawn to. She was standing on the edge of the street, a little ways from the crowd, in her bright yellow rain jacket. It was the one he bought her for birthday this year. Every time she wore it, she would joke that all she needed was a red balloon and a paper boat to finish the look. The hood was pulled over her head to keep the rain off her and she was about to step into a taxi. It was like she could sense him too because she turned her head just as she was getting inside and her eyes lifted to the sky to lock onto him. 

Peter felt his heart lurch with love when she looked his way. Even after all these years, he still got butterflies when he caught her looking at him. He raised his hand to give her a quick wave as he swung overhead. He didn’t have any time to wait for a reply before he turned his attention back to the crowd. By the time he dropped down into the police barrier, she had already gone. 

The derailment wasn’t as bad as it could have been. It could have been devastating but, luckily for everyone involved, the worst case of injury was a dislocated shoulder. There were minor cuts and bruises from people falling over but nothing too serious. The train was already slowing to a stop when it went off the tracks. The biggest challenge was getting everyone out and doing crowd control. Peter chose to spend around a half hour helping out before he decided to bail. He only caused more excitement when people saw Spider-Man walking by and would get the crowds all riled up again. He was more of a hindrance than a help at this point. It wasn’t like they needed him to move any train cars out of the way or break open any doors.

He waved goodbye to the cops helping out and jogged up the stairs. The rain was still coming down hard and the sky was dark and overcast. He was already planning on swinging by to pick up some flowers and dinner for his girlfriend. He got the impression he might have offended her earlier on the phone and he wanted to make it right. His mind was elsewhere when he picked up passing chatter from one of the ambulances still waiting at the scene. 

“Base to Unit 8. You’re responding to a two vehicle accident. Three victims involved. One confirmed fatal, 73 year old male. Two incapacitating injuries, a 52 year old male, conscious but not alert, and a 27 year old female, unresponsive. Female currently trapped inside car. Need all available units to the scene.” 

Peter’s ears perked up at the unresponsive 27 year old female. His stomach dropped and the hairs on the back of his neck stood up. It was her. He didn’t need to be told. He knew. Just like he knew when there was danger around the corner, he knew they were talking about his girlfriend. 

As the ambulance roared to life, lights flashing and sirens wailing, Peter jumped onto the roof. He crouched down low and stuck on while the car carried him straight to the scene of the accident. His mind was reeling. He tuned his hearing to selectively block out the sounds of the vehicle and listen to the paramedics talking inside. 

A male and a female were speaking. The man was driving and the woman was reading something from the computer installed to the dash to get more information as it was coming in.  

“Alright, it looks like we have a collision between a white van and a taxi. Taxi driver was doa. Unresponsive female was his passenger in the back. The 52 year old male was driving the van. Heavy smell of alcohol on him. He’s just been picked up and is being brought in as we speak.” She read off the text she was receiving to the driver and then paused. “Oh, shit. The van is currently on top of the taxi. That’s why they can’t get her out. They’re calling in the fire department to bring the jaws of life to pry her out now.”

The man driving the ambulance let out a low whistle, “Damn. Terrible timing too. Everyone’s attention is at the derailment. We’re going to be lacking people.” 

“Yeah, you better step on it.” 

As the car attempted to weave in and out of the city traffic, Peter’s heart started beating faster. She was trapped. They were going too slow. Despite wailing on the horn, cars hardly inched out of the way for them. It was one of the curses of living in the city during rush hour. Add the pouring rain, terrible visibility, and a subway derailment and suddenly no one remembers how to drive. This wasn’t going to work. They weren’t going to make it in time. He had to do something.

Peter leaned over the roof to the passenger window and knocked on the glass. The woman looked over, let out a scream of surprise, but quickly collected herself and rolled down the window. 

“Spider-Man, what are yo-”

“Unbuckle your seatbelt, I’m going to pull you out, and bring you to the scene. I can get you there faster. Your friend can keep bringing the ambulance but I need you there now!” His words were panicked and came out slightly slurred from talking too fast. 

She tried to shake her head, to reason with him, but there was no reasoning with him now. His girlfriend needed his help and he wasn’t going to show up empty handed. He would bring the paramedic straight to her. He didn’t have time to argue. Peter crawled halfway in the window and unbuckled her seatbelt for her. 

“Hey, wait!” The driver kept his eyes on the road, still weaving through traffic, and tried to reach for his partner but Peter swatted his hand away. 

“Just drive the fucking ambulance to her! That’s your job! We’ll meet you there. I’m not going to hurt her. I need her. She’ll be safe.” He grabbed the woman by the front of the shirt and pulled her out the open window. 

She clung to his neck and wrapped her legs around his waist as he shot them both into the air. 

“What’s your name?” He called out to her while he flew as fast as he could towards the accident. He didn’t even need to be told where it was. His body just led him in that direction. 

“Uhm,” She tried to catch her breath. He could imagine this was a bit of a shock to her but he didn’t have much time to mull over his decisions. Her hair became soaked to her scalp and she hid her face away from the pelting rain into his neck. “Tiana! Was this really necessary?”

“Listen, Tiana, I’m going to cut to the chase. That 27 year old female trapped in the taxi is the love of my life. I’m going to get her out of that car and you’re going to make sure she lives. Hopefully your partner shows up in time to bring her to the hospital. If not, I’m bringing her there myself, got it? Your job is to make sure she stays stable until I can get her there.” He saw the accident below them and his heart dropped. “Jesus christ,” he whispered under his breath and dropped down. 

 He landed directly next to the two cars, placing Tiana on her feet. The white van was entirely on the roof of the taxi. The front of the roof had been crushed down completely and Peter could see blood splatters in the broken windshield. An older man with half his head caved in was slumped against the steering wheel. The back part of the roof was crushed as well but not as badly. There was a perfect pocket where she had chosen to sit that held just enough room for a body to be saved from being completely mangled. Already on scene were two cops and a firetruck. The firemen were just getting out of the truck as Peter landed. They all looked surprised to see Tiana show up being carried by Spider-Man but there were more pressing issues to deal with than to ask questions. 

Peter ran around to the edge of the taxi and knelt down. Under the collapsed side window, through the shattered glass, he could see a glimpse of his girlfriend. He could only see a part of her but he knew. There was no doubt it was her. The yellow raincoat stuck out against the dark interior. Her hand was covered in blood and lay limp against the seat. He couldn’t see anything above her shoulders from this angle. 

He called out her name and watched as her fingers gave a little twitch in response. That was all he needed. She was alive. Peter started to force himself through the small hole in the broken glass window to crawl in to get her when the van above them shifted. The sound of grinding metal on the roof filled his ears. 

“Stop! It’s not stable!” One of the officers shouted. “We have to get the van off first before we can extract her. If you move the taxi too much, it might shift the weight, and completely crush her. We have people on their way right now who will help.” 

Peter slid back out and shook his head, “I’m not waiting for anyone.” 

He climbed up the side of the taxi and, in a grand feat of strength, threw the van off like it weighed nothing. The van flew through the air and came to a rolling stop against the side of a building. Peter didn’t care what it hit. He didn’t even check if there was anyone still inside. He just needed to eliminate all the threats around her. 

He ignored the commotion of people behind him. One of the firefighters was trying to say something to him but Peter didn't hear a word of it. They were trying to stop him. They had protocols to follow, ways they had to do stuff, but he didn’t give a shit. He was stronger than all of these men combined into one. He could rip their tools in half with his bare hands. They were nothing compared to him. He would rip this car apart himself if it meant getting her out safely.

And he did. 

Not waiting for the jaws of life or the help of anyone, Peter pulled chunks of metal from the taxi and haphazardly tossed them over his shoulder out of the way. He tore off half the roof until there was a big enough hole for him to lower into. Every time someone came close to him to try and restrain him, he would slam his fist into their chest and shove them away. This was his job. He wouldn’t stop until she was in his arms. His eyes focused in on that yellow raincoat until it was all he could see. He just needed to get to it. Once he got to her everything would be okay. Nobody would get in his way. 

Peter jumped down through the hole in the roof onto the back seat and crouched down. It was a tight fit but he was in. She was breathing. Soft, quiet breaths. Her eyes were closed. A deep laceration ran into her skull along her hairline and jutted off in a jagged line down beside her left eye. She was covered in blood. He could tell her arm was broken from the way it hung at an unnatural angle. Her hood was still on her head and his eyes filled with tears. She looked so much smaller in here than he remembered. He forced himself to get his shit together. He couldn’t lose it now. He had a job to do. 

“It’s okay, baby. I’m here. I’m going to get you out. You’re alright. You’ll be okay. I’ve got you.” 

He ripped through her seatbelt and she slumped against his chest. He ran a shaky, gloved hand across her face and wrapped his arms around her in a hug to hold her tightly to him. He wasn’t even sure he was breathing anymore. His brain felt fuzzy and his limbs felt numb. All he wanted was to get her out of this car. 

“Be careful of her head!” Tiana called from directly outside. She was trying to watch everything through the shattered glass. “Don’t move her around too much. If she’s broken her spine or has a neck injury, you could paralyze her. I don’t think it’s safe to bring her back out through the roof. Can you kick out the door from where you are? If you can get the door open, I’ll help walk you through on how to get her out.”

She seemed to be the only one willing to actually help him right now so he listened. Peter looked over his shoulder, careful not to jostle his girlfriend, and called out, “Move away from the door!” 

He shuffled his body around so he could aim his foot directly at the door and gave a hard kick. The chunk of twisted metal flew off the hinges fifty feet into the air and landed with a crash. 

Tiana reappeared in the freshly made gap, “Good. I would feel a lot more comfortable taking her out on a spinal board but something tells me you aren’t going to wait for my partner to arrive.” 

Peter shook his head, he was starting to panic, he could feel it rising and closing off his throat, “I can’t. I have to get her out. I have to-”

“I know,” she interrupted. Her voice softened so only he could hear, “I know. I understand. It’s okay. We’re going to get her out. Trust me. Can you tell me what your name is?” 

Peter took a deep breath to steady his nerves and whispered back, “Peter.”  

“Okay, Peter. You’re doing really good so far. Is there enough room to lay her down on the back seat?” 

He looked around. The roof had entirely crushed in the other half of the seat. He thanked the fates she had chosen to sit on this side and not the other. “No. We can’t really move very much. It’s too tight in here.” 

“That’s okay. I need you to hold her head up in a straight line so her spine is aligned. Don’t let her flop around. Then very, very slowly I want you to back out of the car. If this was anyone else, I would make them wait, but I just watched you throw a van like it was nothing. I trust that you’re strong enough to maneuver the two of you out of the car while keeping her head perfectly steady. Are you ready, Peter? I’m going to keep my hand on your back and help guide you out.”

“Yeah…yeah. I’m ready.” He felt her place her hand on the small of his back and one around his hips for support while he scooted backwards. 

Slowly, he pulled the two of them back out of the car. Tiana helped guide him to place his girlfriend on the ground. She ordered him to stay at her head, keeping his hands on either side, and to keep her still while she worked. He watched her while she pulled the stethoscope from around her neck and got to work looking her over. 

“What are you doing now?” He asked her. 

“A rapid trauma assessment for any life threatening injuries. Was she conscious or say anything while you were in there?” 

Peter chewed on his bottom lip. He wished he could take his mask so he could see better. The wet fabric wasn’t helping him breathe any easier. “No. She was passed out. Her fingers moved when I called her name though. That was it.” In the distance he could finally hear the sound of the ambulance as it neared closer. “Is she going to be okay?” 

Tiana kept her focus on her patient while she answered, “I don’t see any initial signs of internal bleeding. Besides her arm, no bones seem obviously out of place. The worst visible injury is the one to her head. That’s going to need surgery. She’ll need testing to see if her spine has been injured. In the meantime, we air on the side of caution, and treat her as if it is. The doctor’s at the hospital will be able better assess the damage to her head. Serious head trauma is no joke and, from the looks of things, she got hit hard. They’ll run tests on her brain to see if there’s any damage. Right now, her pulse is weak but steady and she’s in stable enough condition to move her into the ambulance once my partner arrives.” She stood up to look around for any other victims of the crash. “Keep your hands on either side of her head. Don’t move her until I say. You’re doing really good, Peter. Keep it up. I’ll be back in a second. I have to make sure no one else needs my help.” 

He watched her jog over to the officers to ask a few questions. Peter turned his attention back to his girlfriend. The rain was pooling on her face and washing away the blood. He leaned his body over her face the best he could, without moving his hands from her head, to keep the water off of her. Her lips were parted and bruised. She took tiny, little breaths and he could hear a slight wheeze with each one. He tried not to focus on the fact that he could see a part of her skull where her skin was deeply torn open. As the ambulance finally pulled up, Peter steadied himself. He needed to be strong right now. He couldn’t fall apart. 

Aunt May was working tonight. She would be in the trauma center. She would be there when they arrived. She would immediately recognize his girlfriend but not him. Spider-Man was a stranger to her. Peter’s lip trembled. He wanted someone to tell him everything was going to be okay. He pushed away the memories of Gwen. Years ago he had been in such a similar circumstance. He’d already done this once before. He’d already held his girlfriend while she died in his arms. He couldn’t do that again. He couldn’t stand at another dead lover's grave. 

“Don’t you die on me,” he whispered down to her. “Don’t you dare die. You fight and you stay alive. You hear me? Stay alive.” 

Tiana placed her hand on his shoulders and bent down beside him, “This is my partner, Steve. We’re going to place her onto the spinal board and bring her to the hospital. You’re welcome to ride with us, Spidey.” It wasn’t lost on him that she switched his name now that there were other people present. “Let’s do this quickly to get out of the rain and get her inside.” 

Steve placed the board on the ground beside her body. With the help of a few officers, they managed to carefully roll her onto the board and into the car. He got back in the front and started up the sirens. Tiana began hooking her up to machines as they started moving. Peter took a seat off on the side and finally pulled off his mask. He held it tenderly in his hands while he watched on in hollow silence. 

Tiana chose not to mention his lack of mask when she glanced back at him, “She’s a strong girl. We got to her in time. I have faith that she’ll be okay. She’s lucky to have someone like you. Not many people would be able to rip apart a car to get to someone they love, no matter how badly they wished they could.” 

Peter gave a deep sigh. It was hard to make any words come out. Everything felt numb. He just wanted to get to the hospital. He wanted to see May. He wanted his girlfriend to be okay. He wanted to start over the day and do it differently. Why had he been so rude to her on the phone? She was just worried about what was going on outside her work. All she had wanted was to be reassured that things were okay. She wanted to be told she was safe.

He told her to get in the taxi. He should have told her to wait a little longer at work and they could go home together. Now she was fighting for her life and all he could do was stare silently at her. Incapable of giving her what she needed.

A flurry of beeping erupted in the back of the ambulance. Peter’s head shot up and he stood up in a panic. 

Tiana ran to her side, her voice was filled with worry, “She’s crashing! Drive a little faster, Steve!” 

The car lurched forward as they sped up. He was forced to helplessly watch while she started doing chest compressions. His eyes scanned over the monitors. He had on idea what they were saying but the noises they were making didn’t sound good. 

“What’s happening?” He shouted to her. 

She didn’t reply. She was counting her compressions under her breath while she performed CPR. 

“How much further to the hospital?” He shouted up to Steve. 

“Two minutes!” He shouted back. “I just radioed them. They have a team on standby ready to grab us the second we pull up.”

It was the longest two minutes of his life. He had half a brain cell left to remember to tug his mask back over his head as the doors burst open. He was shoved out of the way as a team of people rushed to lower her out of the back. Peter followed behind them helplessly. There was nothing for him to do. No one for him to save. She was in their hands now. He was useless. 

He trailed into the hospital behind them and watched as they took her away from him. He felt his heart disappear with her. 

“Oh, poor thing.” 

He heard May’s voice from across the room. She had caught sight of the group rushing past. There were too many people surrounding the bed for her to get a good look at who was on it. She wasn’t a part of the team assigned to her. She was in her green scrubs and standing by a desk with a file in her hands. Her eyes followed the group of people as they wheeled his girlfriend away and she placed a hand over her heart. 

“I hope they’re alright. I hate when we get car crash victims. Breaks my heart every time.” She smiled at the woman behind the desk and handed her the file. 

It took everything in him not to run over to her and beg for her comfort. She didn’t know him. Not like this. But just seeing her here was enough to bring him to his knees and break him down. She was his safe person and the sound of her voice alone could tear down his walls. Peter sank to the floor as the quiet sobs started and he gripped at his head like he was trying to pull at his hair through the wet mask. He couldn’t do this. If she didn’t make it…

He wasn’t strong enough. 

May took notice of the suited up hero hiding to the side of the room. She quietly walked over, not wanting to draw attention to him, and bent down in front of him. She placed her hand on his shoulder. 

“Hey,” she whispered. “Did you know the person who just came in?”

Fresh sobs bubbled out of him but he shook his head no. She couldn’t know. Lying to her about not knowing his own girlfriend only twisted the knife already plunged into his heart. 

“Were you there on the scene?” She asked. “Did you help bring them in?”

He silently nodded and she gave him a soft smile. 

“I don’t know what you saw out there, or how bad it was, but I know it’s always traumatic anytime someone’s life is put in your hands.” May rubbed her hands up his arms. “I’m going on my break now. Why don’t we go sit out of the way for a minute? I know a quiet place.” 

Peter let her help him off the ground and lead him to a darker corner behind a curtain. He collapsed into a seat and held his face in his hands as he cried. May wrapped her arm around his shoulder and pulled him against her side. She had comforted him like this so many times before in the past. He wanted to pull off his mask. He wanted to tell her that it was his girlfriend they brought in. That she was in trouble. That he was hurting so badly for her. He wanted her to know everything.

But he couldn’t. 

He let her hold him, humming sweet and soothing melodies in his ear, while he broke down. He couldn’t speak because she’d know his voice. He was almost certain she’d recognize the sound of his sobs too. It wasn't like she was unfamiliar with the sounds of his breakdowns. But he held onto the hope that it was too outlandish of an idea for her to even put two and two together.

“I can’t even imagine how hard it is to be a hero like you,” she whispered to him. “You must hold so much weight on your shoulders. No one is meant to do that alone, sweetie. It’s okay to lose it from time to time. I won’t tell anyone. Your secret is safe with me.” She pressed a quick, motherly kiss to the side of his mask. “Would you like me to go check on the person they brought in? I’ll let you know how they’re doing.”

Peter nodded. He knew the second she went to find out, she would see who it was in the accident. She’d start to panic that Peter had been in the accident too. The very first thing she would do would be to try and call his cell. He couldn’t be here for that. He had to change. He had to get out of this stupid suit. He didn’t want to be Spider-Man. He just wanted to be Peter Parker and be by his girlfriend’s side. 

May stood up, “I’ll be right back. You hang in there, honey. I’m sure you did great today. I’m so proud of you.”

Peter put his fingers to his chin and signed “thank you” with his hand. It was the most he could give her for her kindness without speaking. 

By the time she turned her back on him to collect the information, he had already slipped out the door and was running back out into the rainy evening.