#sorry for being bitter about my birthday it’s just like every year sucks and I was stupid enough last year to think maybe it would suck a

[whimsyprinx]

If I tell my household I don’t want to do anything for my birthday they’ll get upset and interrogate me and I don’t know how to explain to them I simply don’t want them to do anything for my birthday because I don’t want it held over my head another year and that nothing they could do would make it a happy birthday

[poindexters-labratory]

Uhhhm, vent, I guess? I'm just trying to put my feelings into words because it bridges that gap between my thoughts and verbalizing.

Um, there's a bit of a breakdown, and I start talking to myself. Also, talking about emotional trauma. I just kinda wanted to get out somewhere. Sorry to use a public platform, but I don't really have a safe person to rely on.

I'm a very slow thinker. I always have been. I'm not witty or able to absorb information very quickly. I can pretend like I do, and it seems like I do, but my mannerisms and patterns of speech are a result of me desperately trying to keep up. Trying to keep my head above water.

My processing speed has always made me vulnerable. I can't keep up fast enough in open conversation when it comes to groups of people. On top of that, I have mild deafness in an ear on top of autism and ADHD, which makes audio processing extremely difficult. Over time, I've learned to become agreeable, easy to manage, and quiet.

But that life gets lonely. Listening in on conversations you'd like to be a part of, being the last one included, the last one invited, the last one considered, the first one abandoned. I wouldn't say that the experience has made me bitter or cold, but I do have some level of expected disappointment. And I get stressed when there's no attention put on me.

I've always been the kid who has been overlooked in class or at home. My family hardly knows what I want for my birthday, I don't have close friends, even when I like to say that everyone I talk with is my friend, I don't have a best friend. Everyone deserves to have a best friend, right?

It sucks to feel like I should apologize for being sensitive, for being quiet, for being naive, but I am. I feel like I'm no fun as a person. I'm literal, and we're living in an age where all our insecurities are hidden behind a layer of sarcasm and jokes that I just can't seem to wrap my head around. I'm easily scared by the jokes people say.

Not to mention traumatized from a life in an emotionally unstable environment. Terrified that if I made the tiniest mistake, the people around me would blow up in my face.

I weep for the child who learned how to open his school binder silently in class or hide in his room to avoid the potential of screaming downstairs.

The child who hid his entire personality for years to avoid conflict.

The child whose lost friend after friend, in every single location he's been to and left.

And I'm enraged. I had no other choice. And I'm scared. All my life, I've taught myself that if I just shut up, then no one will ever hurt me. If I just shut up, then I'll be safe from everyone.

"I'm too stupid for conversation anyway, I'm too slow to be a part of a group, to have a seat at the table, and I will finally be safe because the only things anyone has ever been interested in are shoving things that in the way and stepping on things that are too small."

That is a horrible thing for a child to convince himself of.

All of this is probably why I have NPD (narcissistic personality disorder). I convince myself on especially bad days that I'm obviously just better even though I consciously know it not to be true, and everyone is jealous, and that's why no one is talking to you. I have this deep desire to be admired in impossible ways, and I struggle immensely when I have absolutely no attention.

I need people to love me. I shouldn't give a reason because if I was loved and given attention properly, then we would be here.

"Am I really that awful? I can't possibly be. I'm positively normal and well-mannered and polite. I'm almost too nice. Sickeningly sweet. If people see how good I can be, then there's no reason why they wouldn't want to be my friend, right?

But I don't want to be too overbearing. I don't want to be too chatty. People hate people who talk too much. Especially when they talk about the same thing for hours. Especially when they can't take the joke. Don't be so serious, don't be so concerned, just fade into the background, and be as unremarkable as possible.

But I'd like to be noticed. I want that attention. I want the attention for saying something, doing something. Make the conversation about me, talk to me. Please talk to me, don't you see me? Don't you know how cool and remarkable I am, I can do all these amazing things, and I know all this information. Won't you like me?"

I also expect people to read my mind because that's what I do for them. I wait and pray that someone will notice the person sitting in the corner by himself. It hasn't quite worked yet.

So, now I imagine myself sitting in a field surrounded by people rushing around me. And I'm waiting. I've been sitting in this field for a while, envious of the people who walk by with someone in tow. I would like to be someone's someone.

It would be a lie if I said I didn't think about it often. I'm not interested in romance, I just want someone to be silly with, who I'm safe with, who likes to fool around sometimes, who's just there with me. Hell, it doesn't have to be one person. I just love people. An extrovert who's all alone is so depressingly ironic.

I don't have the answers or the steps to find the answer, but I know that it will unfortunately take time. Life will continue, and I will continue it by myself until I fortunately don't have to anymore. Until I won't be alone anymore. I feel like it will take as much time as it needs to.

[unwrittenlibrary]

the warmth of your love

summary -> there are more ways to say i love you than just i love you. you and bucky share a few.

words -> 2.2k

warnings -> pining, friends to lovers, back to my fluffy bucky roots, female!reader

notes -> i wrote a harry s. piece similar to this years ago & it’s so interesting to see how my writing has changed since then. based off of this list. items from the list are italicized!

— ➶ —

“I’m sorry for your loss.”

They’re simple words that Bucky has become accustomed to.

Steve Rogers departure has left a hole in the world and a gap in Bucky’s chest that aches. They were best friends, brothers, and Bucky wasn’t sure how to navigate this world without him.

Bucky has grown used to the pity filled eyes of the Avengers, or at least what’s left of them, and the apologetic tone of voice.

The way the words came from your mouth though was different. Your eyes full of kindness and a small smile on your face that offered comfort.

“Th..Thank you.” Bucky says quietly. The two of you have only known each other for a couple years now, but Bucky finds comfort in you more than he does people he’s known since Steve and Sam had saved him. “It means a lot.”

Your hand squeezes his right forearm gently. “If you need anything, I’m here for you.”

He knows the words hold true; That if he called, you’d be over with dinner or movies to help him. It makes Bucky feel warm in a way he hasn’t in almost a century.

“I know.” His left hand covers yours. “I appreciate it.” You both share a smile, small and private, before the moment is over.

“I was in the neighborhood.”

There’s a knock on his door that makes Bucky jump. He’s been working on his reactions, logically he knows not everybody is out to get him, but it’s something ingrained in his mind.

He’s working on being better about it, he is, but it’s almost ten at night and Bucky doesn’t really have many friends left.

His hand wraps around the hilt of his knife as he creeps towards his apartment door. There’s another knock and Bucky moves to look through the peephole.

It’s you. Covered dishes in your hand and scarf wrapped tightly around your neck. Bucky’s lips quark up at the sight, fall was starting and fall in New York was a bitter cold. His hand falls from his knife as he moves to unlock the door.

“What are you doing here?” He asks incredulously as you step inside. Bucky’s eyes find his makeshift bed on the living room floor and he shifts in embarrassment.

You gently place the glass dish on his counter and shrug your coat off. “I was in the neighborhood.” It’s an obvious lie, if the meal for two is anything to go by, but Bucky doesn’t dispute it. “Thought you might be hungry.”

You move around his kitchen like you belong there, pulling out plates and utensils. Bucky watches with his mouth parted in awe. “You didn’t have to-“

“-I wanted to.” You move over, making room for Bucky to stand beside you, and hold out a fork for him. “Now, come on. It’s a new recipe.”

Bucky holds a finger up. “Let me get you a drink. I have some wine.” He shuffles through his cabinets until he comes across a bottle of white wine, a housewarming gift from Sam.

“Now it’s a date.” You giggle and Bucky can feel his cheeks heat, not at the insinuation of it being a date but the fact that he so desperately wishes it was.

“Stay there. I’m coming to get you.”

Bucky knows you’re not his girlfriend. It’s a painful observation he makes every time you bring something over or offer to go out. The way your hands brush but never intertwine and how you give him a hug and press a kiss to his cheek instead of his lips.

Bucky knew you weren’t his girlfriend, but he didn’t know you were dating.

“I’m so sorry to bother you,” Your voice is choked up and you struggle to get the words out, “I just, I didn’t know who else to call.”

“What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” Bucky’s mind has slipped into panic mode as he jumps up from his couch. He moves around his apartment, hastily pulling on pants and socks while holding the phone to his ear and listening for any signs of pain. “Where are you?”

You sniffle. “I’m fine! I’m not hurt! Well, not physically anyway. I had a date tonight and he stood me up.” You suck in a deep breath and Bucky freezes.

A date?

“So, my pride is injured.” You joke, but Bucky’s stuck frozen in the middle of his living room with one shoe on and a broken heart.

He knows, okay, he knows you never told him you had feelings for him. That you didn’t owe him anything, but he thought maybe…

“…But physically I’m okay.” You’re still talking and Bucky is only half listening. “Can I come over? I’m, like, five blocks away. Bad Moon bar. I can walk to your place. I just need a friend.”

The word rings in Bucky’s ears, but he forces himself to speak. “Stay there. I’ll come get you.” Bucky moves to pull his second shoe on and pulls on a coat.

He hears your sigh of relief. “Thank you so much. I’ll be outside.” Bucky swallows thickly when you hang the phone up.

“I think you’re beautiful.”

You have another date. This time with a man who asked what your favorite flower is and has decided to take you out to dinner instead of a bar.

Bucky’s chest hurts, but he stays silent. He’s unwilling to break this friendship up by telling you how he feels, especially when it seems clear to him that you do not feel the same way.

“Okay! Okay!” You come barreling down your hallway and into the living room. Bucky looks up from his phone and his mouth almost falls open in shock.

You look lovely in the dress that flows to your feet. It fits around your curves and Bucky can’t stop his eyes from trailing over you in awe.

“Wow.” He murmurs. Your eyes shift and you glance down at your hands fiddling in the front of your stomach. “You look…”

You cut him off before he can get anymore words out, “I look ridiculous! I knew it. I look far too dressed up.” You spin on your heel, but Bucky shoots up to stop you.

“No! You look…” He trails off nervously. Bucky looks at you, really looks at you, someone warm and full of light and understands what this feeling he has around you is. “I think you’re beautiful.”

“Happy Birthday.” & “I made this for you.”

Bucky walks into his apartment and is immediately hit with the smell of vanilla. He can hear your voice, reading ingredients to yourself, from his entryway and smiles to himself.

“I knew there was a reason Sam kept me out all day.” Bucky laughs when you jump and drop the whisk in your hand. “What’re you doing here, sweetheart?”

Your shoulders rise and fall with a deep breath. “It’s your birthday!” You smile brightly as Bucky presses a greeting kiss to your cheek.

“I’ve had too many of them, no need to bring attention to it.” Bucky dips a finger in the whipped frosting in your hands and laughs when you smack it away.

“We have to celebrate!” You exclaim with an affronted look. “No ifs ands or buts! Happy birthday, Bucky!”

The bowl of frosting is dropped on the counter as you move to wrap your arms tightly around Bucky’s waist. He settles in your arms as his own come up to wrap around you.

The poems and stories talk about being in the arms of the one you love as rapid heartbeats and butterflies but all Bucky feels is calm. It’s like the worries of his day to day life just slip away when he’s with you.

It’s good, so wonderfully good to have an anchor like that. He didn’t need the butterflies that made him feel sick or the rapid heartbeat that worsened his anxiety. He just needed the warmth.

“Thank you, sweetheart.” Bucky presses another kiss to the top of your head. You pull away to look up at him excitedly. “What’s that look for?”

You pull away completely and move around to pull your bag off of one of his kitchen stools. “I made this for you.” Your voice is quiet and nervous as you push a wrapped box towards him.

It’s a small book, one with no title to indicate what’s on the inside, but Bucky can tell it’s something personal from the way you’re rocking back and forth nervously on your feet.

When he opens it to the first page, tears almost spring to his eyes. His lungs burn with effort to not cry as he flips through picture after picture. Him, you and him, him with Sam and Steve and all of you together.

Each photo has a small note next to it too. Hearts and smiley faces decorate the edges. Bucky looks up at you with his mouth open in awe.

“This is… Nobody has ever done something this special for me before.” He admits quietly. “I love it.”

A sigh of relief escapes you as Bucky moves to pull you into his arms again. “Happy Birthday, Buck.” You murmur into his chest.

It’s the best birthday Bucky’s had since he was a child.

“You can tell me anything.”

You’re nervous.

It’s obvious in the way your eyes shift to Bucky before back to the sidewalk in front of you.

Your nervousness is making Bucky nervous. His fingers twitching every so often and he finds himself shifting around as if he expects something to hop out from behind one of the trees.

“Are you okay?” Bucky finally asks when he notices your hands tangled together in front of your stomach. “You’re being fidgety.”

You look up with wide, shocked eyes like you had forgotten Bucky was there entirely, too caught up in your own thoughts. “I’m okay!” You say quickly.

Bucky feels his eyes narrow and he forces you to a stop beside him with a gentle hand on your elbow. “Are you sure?”

“Yep! Just busy overthinking.” You laugh awkwardly as you glance down at the hand still wrapped around your elbow. Bucky drops it quickly, but your hand reaches out to intertwine your fingers with his. “I just… I’ve been wanting to ask you.. No. Tell you something.”

Bucky squeezes your hand gently. “You can tell me anything.” He says quietly. You look at him with wet eyes and Bucky feels himself panic. “No judgement, not from me, not ever.”

“Promise?” You ask quietly. Your voice sounds so unlike you, so nervous and uncomfortable that Bucky isn’t sure what he can do to make it better.

So he nods. “Promise. I’m the last person to judge, sweetheart.”

“I love you.”

It’s right out of those romantic comedies that Bucky pretends to dislike. The way you stand in front of him, wrapped up in a winter coat and scarf, with trembling hands and admit to Bucky how you feel.

“I’ve felt like this for a long time. A really long time now, I don’t think I could even tell you when because it just happened.” You ramble when you’re nervous, a habit Bucky thinks is adorable. “And I knew you were going through a lot, so I never said anything. I love being your friend, I do, but I had to tell you. It’s tearing me up having this secret because I hate secrets.”

Bucky says your name in an attempt to cut you off, but you don’t seem to hear him. “It’s okay if you don’t feel the same way. I-“

Your lips press shut when Bucky’s hands come up to cup your cheeks. “Will you shut up for just one second?” He asks sweetly.

You nod with wide eyes. “I feel warm around you,” Bucky starts off, “I don’t feel butterflies or sweaty palms. I used too, sometimes when you look at me a certain way I still do, but most of the time I just feel warm. I… I feel like I can breathe again. I feel calm. You make me calm.”

“What?” You ask softly. It’s obvious you’re trying to not get your hopes up as Bucky talks.

“I love you too.” Bucky says clearly. Your hand comes up to rest over his on your cheek as you press into the pressure. “You make it easy for me to breathe again.”

Bucky feels the sigh of relief you let out. “You make it easy for me too.” You say quietly, your tone much lighter than before.

“Can I kiss you?”

When you nod, Bucky can feel his entire face brighten. He’s sure there’s a nervous blush there as you tilt your head up towards him and leans to meet you halfway.

It’s just as warm as you are, the way you kiss. Slow and pushing all of your emotions into it. Your lips are cold, but Bucky’s sure his are too.

It’s everything he’s wanted with you. Despite the snowflakes beginning to fall around you and the wind nipping at his skin, all Bucky feels is warmth.

Bonus -> “Can I have this dance?”

A winter wedding seemed fitting when you had suggested it. Something small, intimate and warm. Just a few of your closest friends and family to bear witness.

You’ve been wandering around the venue for the past hour, saying hi to family and catching up with people you’ve been too busy to hang out with the past couple of months. Bucky’s sick of not having you by his side.

His arm wraps your waist from behind and he presses a kiss to your cheek, immediately cutting off what you were saying to Pepper.

A slow song starts, Bucky won’t admit until later that he told the DJ to start it once Bucky reached your side.

“Mrs. Barnes, can I have this dance?”

— ➶ —

me: has ten pieces in the drafts that need to be worked on

also me: just writes this fluffy disaster

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

; good enough

© @pedropcl

lee bodecker x fem!reader.

summary. your father invited you to his birthday party and things ended badly.

words. about 2.3k.

warnings, tags. nsfw, +18!!! drunk state, language, unprotected sex, daddy!kink, very brief degradation, mention of bodily fluids, very brief mention of violence. and i think that's all.

a / n. first time writing for this man that has me obsessed, so i hope y'all like it! none of my writings contains reader's body descriptions to be inclusive. if you find something out of place, please send me a message and i'll change it.

You didn't want to be there, but it was your father's birthday and you couldn't miss it. More than thirty minutes had passed since the last time you saw your husband standing in a corner of the large living room, sipping from his glass of whisky and judging every guest around in silence. Lee hated your parents, your family, their friends. And you didn't blame him. Your family never accepted him, always repeating that he wasn't good enough for you, nor your interests. Except for your mom. She wasn't the only one who didn't treat him like dirt.

Once that you escaped from your father's arms, showing you as a trophy and trying to set you up on a date with one of his best friend's sons, you stepped out of the house to the back garden. It was cold outside, having to close your jacket around your chest as you closed both arms over it. Following the footprints on the grass, you reached the improvised parking where different cars were stationed. The smoke coming from nowhere called your attention, glimpsing Lee sitting on the hood of his black Ford. Cigarette in his left hand and bottle of whisky in his right.

You doubted for a second to interrupt his moment of peace for the first time in two weeks. Two long weeks where you barely had spent time together. He started holding over his shifts because, apparently, there was too much paperwork to attend. You couldn't help but think that he was raving mad about you, or about something you did unconsciously. But the real problem was that your husband never used to talk about his feelings or what was going in his mind.

“I think you've drunk enough”. You uttered watching him raise the bottle to his lips.

Lee chuckled ironically, shaking his head. “Lucky me I don' care”.

Frowning and with your mouth pressed closed, you walked towards his position to face him. He had never talked to you like that, but he was being honest, shrugging his shoulders to point it out a little more.

“I do. I do care”.

“Don' worry, darlin'. I ain't gonna shame you in front of your family”. He scoffed bitterly, finally sipping from his drink. “Watya' doin' here anyway? Party's indoors”.

“You're here tho”.

“And who fuckin' cares, uh? You were having so much fun inside with that… pretty boy who works in Wall Street”. Your husband mocked taking a drag from his cigarette. “We should divorce, don' you think? So you coulda go with him to the big city, and don' be stuck in… How d'your father call it? Knockemshit. Stuck with a… fat sheriff of a shitty town”.

Lee didn't notice the tears blurring your gaze till he raised his face. The bitter smile curving his lips suddenly disappeared, putting his pale blue eyes away from you because it was too painful for him to watch you cry. Your husband gulped hardly, kissing his teeth as he threw the cigar somewhere on the ground. You couldn't believe he really wanted to divorce you, wrapping your heart with a suffocating sorrow that barely let you breathe. He was your life and, after three years together, he seemed to not give a shit about it sometimes.

“I ain' like them”. You whispered sniffing.

“Tha' doesn' change the fact that you don' deserve a man like me. Your father is right. 'M a fucking loser compared to anyone inside his damn house”.

You loved Lee with all your heart, soul, mind, body. He was everything you want in your existence —your life. So damn obsessed with his touch, his kisses, his smell of wind and leather, his smile, that beautiful pair of pale blue eyes. You refused to believe he was talking seriously.

“You should be there. I— Imma go home, tell your mo—”.

Before your husband could finish his goodbye, you interrupted him by slapping his face. He didn't see that coming and you'd never imagine yourself hitting him. But you needed it, seeming the only way to stop him from abandoning you there. He kept his face away from you, trying to comprehend what had just happened. His drunkenness suddenly disappeared, pressing his inner cheek with the tip of his tongue whilst rubbing his hand over the reddened skin. You were so mad right now that you could set on fire the whole world.

And you were about to do it a second time when Lee caught your wrist in the air, painfully gripping his fingers around it to push you closer —chest against chest. Then, he raised his index finger. “Don' you fuckin' dare to try it again, y'hear me?”

You were furiously breathing, but not filling your lungs with air in reality, keeping your eyes on the blue ones that used to steal your heart every single day. It was like a contest of dominance you knew he always won. Any time.

Your husband didn't give you the chance to say sorry, slamming his lips on yours. A moan died in his tongue when it invaded your cavity while releasing your arm to fly his rough big hands to your ass, almost grabbing it all with his long fingers. Your digits went to the lapels of his leather jacket, not lasting too much there till finishing on the back of his head.

Lee was hungry for you, just like you were for him after two long weeks barely touching each other. Your husband devoured, sucked, and bit your lips, urging you to turn around enough to push you on top of the hood of his car. His hands pulled up the skirt of your dress, wanting to reach the waistband of your panties, receiving the great surprise that you weren't wearing any.

“You little dirty girl… Don' wantin' your Sheriff to lose time, uh?” He grunted with such an animal and eager tone, as he took care of the belt and the zip of his pants.

“I need you”. You sobbed against his lips, feeling his hands maneuvering between your legs.

At least, you were fast enough to cover your mouth with a hand when Lee rammed his rock dick into your soaked cunt, drowning in your palm a loud cry of pure satisfaction for being filled by your husband. Back and forth, he hit your body once and once, impaling you against the Ford still being furious by the way your father and friends treated him as if it was your fault. Lee was mad, really mad, digging his fingers in your hips to pin you on place and don't move, continuing fucking you harder and harder —challenging you to not be able to be quiet and make everybody heard how good he used to made you feel.

“Goddammit… you're so damn ti— tight, baby doll… So tight fo— for your daddy, ain' ya?”

“Yes… Yes, daddy”. You cried hiding your face into the crook of his neck.

His strong scent filling your lungs caused you to roll your eyes white, letting your soul leave your body while his cock attacked fiercely your pussy with no mercy. Your vocals were in sync with the screeching noise the car produced in every thrust straight to your guts. The pace was insane, intense than never before, and more pleasurable than you could imagine in your life.

Lee was aware how much you loved him, that you felt devotion for him. But sometimes —sometimes like those— he couldn't help but think he could lose you as soon as you realized who he was in reality. You didn't care. You weren't blind. You knew about his dirty laundry, his past, his sister (...). And you still wanted him with all your heart and body.

“Fu— Fuck, gonna put a… baby inside you”. He growled, wrapping his right around your throat to urge you to face him. “Y'want it, uh? D'you want dad— daddy to put a baby in that… beautiful belly?”

“Yes… please, Lee”. You whined with teary eyes, being too much pleasure for your body to handle. “Please, daddy… I wa— want you to… get me pre— pregnant with your child”.

Your husband's lips curved up in a petty smirk, pulling out from your dripping cunt, causing you to sob in disappointment. Lee managed to put you down on your shaky feet to turn you and force you to bend over the hood of his car. Ass upped, legs spread. He only took a second to stare at your glistening and abused folds in your arousal, prior to impaling you again. With a hand on your lower back and the other tangled in your head, your husband obligated you to arch your back as he continued banging your anatomy once and again.

At this point, you had forgotten your name, where you are, and if someone could hear how you cried pleased any time he crashed against your g-spot. It was a mix of pleasure and pain as Lee wasn't having any kind of compassion with your cunt, clenching unconsciously around his hard length. He knew then how close you were to cumming for him —because of him—, increasing the pace while you tried to find a place to put your hands on and find some balance to stay in place. As soon as the hand tangled in your hair landed back to your throat, you gripped five fingers around his wrist, enjoying the brief lack of air because of it.

“C'mon, my swe— sweet whore… Y'wanna cum for daddy, don't ya?”

His raspy and wrecked voice fell into your ear like an angelic melody, not being able to hold your moans anymore within your mouth. The knot inside your lower belly was bigger and bigger and suffocating, feeling how it could explode at any time. Lee shoved his cock non-stopping producing a sloppy obscene sound when his pelvis crashed against your ass, along the chink of his belt against the back of your thigh.

“Daddy… Daddy…” You called him while the tears started to fall again through your cheeks, this time, of absolute satisfaction.

You couldn't help but bite your lip strongly till the metallic taste of blood covered your tongue, letting yourself go as the knot bursted within your belly. The orgasm threw you above the edge with your husband's palm covering your mouth to not be heard or it would be really awkward to be caught by all the guests, even if he didn't care. He wouldn't mind showing that pretty boy from New York that nobody could fuck his little dirty girl better than himself. Oh, how funny it would be to see his face while your husband was ramming his cock into your abused pussy, cumming inside your tight walls, digging his teeth in your neck to mark his territory.

Lee came with a sensual and passionate hoarse gasp causing you goosebumps bristling your skin, burying himself balls deep to hold it inside the mix of your juices filling up your center. It felt like being in Heaven, although you weren't sure if you could walk after such an intense quickly, feeling your walls burning as his dick still twitching and stretching your cunt.

Your husband wasn't a man of kisses after sex, that's why he surprised you when tilted your face to his and pressed his lips on yours, panting, not caring about the lack of breath. It wasn't a lustful kiss either, more than a tender and fondly one, tasting your mouth, playing with your tongue.

Pulling out his semi-erection, Lee helped you to clean yourself with a tissue before using it to clean your arousal on him and toss it to the ground. As he put on his pants, you fixed your dress and your hair, turning around.

“You meant it?” You dared to ask, still having sorrow covering your voice. “Gettin' divorced… You mean it?”

“What?” He inquired, squinting confusedly until he realized what you were talking about. He chuckled holding your chin with two fingers. “You married me, darlin'. There's no other way you're gonna spend your life but with me. Willingly or not, you hear me?”

Lee raised both eyebrows very sure of his word before you nodded your head with a fleeting smile crossing your lips.

“Can we go home now…?”

“'S that what you want?”

You nodded your head a second time, while your husband placed his arms around you with hidden possessiveness to guide you back to your childhood's house. And of course, your father was enraged when you told him that you were leaving with your husband. He yelled at you and nobody tried to stop him till the moment he had the brilliant idea of pretending to lay a hand on you.

Lee punched him. Lee broke his nose. Lee made your father fall to the floor between the pretty boy's arms. And Lee never felt better in his whole damn life.

“Don't you ever come back to this house, if you leave now with this… bastard”.

“She doesn' need you”. Your husband cooed wrapping your neck with an arm, leaning slightly to borrow your purse. “Ma'am, my pleasure a see ya' again. The beef was delicious. G'night”.

You were yet processing what just happened, ashamed of the desire for your husband himself awakened inside you after watching him hitting your father. Lee could be a total asshole sometimes but one thing was undeniable: he loved you with all his heart and soul, he was obsessed with you since the very first time his oceanic eyes contemplated you walking down the street, smelling a bucket of roses you bought for yourself.

Never again you knew anything about your family. Not even when your son, called after your husband, was born. But you weren't sad. As Lee said, you didn't need them. You had your own family to take care of.

feedback is appreciated. if you enjoyed it, please leave a comment so i can know your opinion. reblogs are needed.

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[myafterlifeisbetterthenyours]

Stella with owl demon S/O (The finale)

(This is the last chapter in the secret lover mini-series. If your just finding it, go back and read the full series. Its a fairly long story.) Hope you enjoy~

Years of meticulous planning. Manipulation, blackmail and manoeuvring. And all for this one day.

It had almost been a year since Stolas cheated on Stella, almost a year since You and Stella had become a less than secret couple. And today you were going official.

It had been simple getting information on Stolas.

A few cameras here, a tapped phone line there, not to mention half the staff was on your pay roll. They gave you all the information you could need, you taking any information, no matter how minor.

Honestly, Stella coming to you was a pleasant surprise. You did have this grand plan in place, a plan to split the family at its seams.

And in an instant, Stolas' incompetence had saved you months of work. And so Stolas' arrogance, shall be his undoing.

Over the last year, youd had dozens of visits. Spending months carefully prodding the couple, if you could still call them that. You pushed the wedge between them deeper and deeper, all for today.

You strolled into the palace like it were your second home, a small wicker basket hanging from his arm.

Navigating the halls, you found yourself in the palace kitchen, or at least the one the family had used the most.

Grabbing a set of glasses, you turned to find Octavia sitting at the table. 'Octavia, dear, how are you.' You asked, sounding as overjoyed as you felt.

She looked up at you with dead eyes, 'How do I look.' She asked sarcasticly. And honestly, the girl looked like she hadn't slept in a week.

Sitting down you gave her a sympathetic look. 'Fight?' You asked simply.

She just nodded, taking a sip of coffee.

You sighed, placing your hand on hers. 'What about the white noise machine I got you, that help any?' You asked hopefully.

Octavia sighed 'It helped a little, but they both managed to yell over it.' She told you, rubbing her face.

You sighed again, reaching into your pocket. You pulled out a fist sized stone. 'Here' you told her, handing her the stone.

Octavia stared at the stone for several moments, before looking up to you, blinking heavily a few times, 'Uhhhh... thanks?' She said, clearly confused.

You let out a chuckle, resting your head on your hand. 'Your welcome.'

The girl stared at the stone, before looking back at you 'what is it?' She asked simply.

You laughed again, 'Well it was going to be a birthday present, but it would seem you need it more now.'

Picking up the stone you gently tapped its top, a complex Web of symbols growing across it. Tapping it once more the symbols disappeared.

Octavia looked much more interested now, as you explained it to her. 'This bad boy, is what you'd call a noise sponge. When activated, it basically sucks all the noise out of a room.'

Octavia stood up, 'Really?' She asked seemingly excited. With a smile you told her 'See for yourself' you told her before tapping the top of the stone.

Octavias mouth moved, but no noise seemed to leave. She spoke again and again, each time seemingly getting louder and louder, before taking a deep breath.

Her mouth stretched and her body moved as though she were screaming, but there was no sound whatsoever.

Tapping the stone, sound noticably re-entered the room.

Octavia panted, before giggling like... well a school girl. Picking up the stone, you handed it to her.

Octavia stared at the stone, getting up, you followed her. 'Now remember this. That's not a toy. Its a powerful artefact, so don't use it longer than needed, and no sound can be heard when activated, be careful where you use it.'

Octavia just nodded her head, her eyes never leaving the stone. 'Thanks (y/n)' she told you giving a big hug.

'No problem kiddo.' You told her patting her back and planting an affectionate kiss atop her head.

Leaving the room you reflected on your growing friendship with Octavia.

She truly was an amazing young woman, a spitting image of her mother, if a bit cynical. She had a deep fascination for the occult, something you were more than happy to help her explore.

The two of you had actually become pretty close, having talked and met up dozens of times. You acted as a confidant, and a suspected, only friend for the girl.

You didn't like manipulating the girl, but it was quite easy to sour her relationship with her father, you really only had to bring focus to his selfish nature.

Of course, that didn't mean she was running to Stella's side, but her trust in stolas was cracked.

So with some pep in your step, you made your way to Stella's study, giving polite and playful little bows to the palace staff.

Youd worked hard to become beloved by the staff, acting as sort the "good noble" that looked out for them. At least for the ones not ready on your payroll.

You found her study. Giving your outfit a once over you knocked on the door. Stella snapped back, telling you to go away.

You released a bitter-sweet laugh, you opened the door, 'Are you fucking d-' Stella yelled before cutting yourself off.

'Hello darling.' You said calmly. In an instant she got to her feet, rushing over and wrapping you in a hug.

You pulled her into a kiss, locking the two into a passionate embrace. Breaking the kiss, you asked her tenderly 'How are you doing, my love?'

You'd gotten very good at telling when Stella was upset and when she was trying to hide it, and now she was certainly upset.

'How am I doing? Oh you know, I've had to deal with my slut of a husband and that... fucking Imp! For months now.' She growled, taking several heavy breaths before turning back to you. 'Other then that, I'm fine.'

You gave her a sympathetic smile, before remembering why you were here. 'Well, then I have just the thing.' You told her, giving the basket a little shake.

You pulled her towards the door, Stella resisting. 'Lets go play' you tell her playfully.

'No, I can't' she tells you, resisting your pull 'I have to much work to do.' She said clearly upset at the reality of royal responsibility.

Pulling her close, you looked her in the eyes before firmly telling her 'Do you trust me?' You asked her sternly.

That seemed to surprise her, before she just nodded her head. 'Then we should do this... trust me'

Stella conceded, letting you lead her out of the palace.

Walking out the back of the palace, you passed the field she had once burnt to ash, now regrown into a healthy and lush lawn.

Taking her into the clearing, you layed out the blanket you'd brought in the basket.

Sitting down, you pulled out the bottle of wine. Pulling the cork, you poured you both a glass. Sitting there you both fell silent, a weight hanging over your head.

You turned to her, looking deep into her eyes, you told her calmly. 'Stella, theres nothing in this world I love more then you...' taking your hand, you placed a kiss atop it.

'I'm sorry... I'm sorry I was never good enough for you...' you told her, emotion growing in your voice.

She looked deeply concerned, asking you 'what do you mean?'

You shook your head. 'The truth is. All I've ever wanted was to be with you...' you looked at your hands, 'I had such plans to Get you back, to prove I deserved you. But stolas seems to have ruined everything... You deserve better and I'm going to give it to you.' You looked up at her, 'I love you Stella.'

Looking at Stella, she looked distraught, teary eyed as she pulled you close. 'I love you too (Y/N).' There was a long pause before she whispered in your ear, 'I wish I had been with you... all those years ago'

Her words put everything together, a wave of determination flowing through you. With your purpose secured, you pulled her into a passionate kiss.

The two of you became more physical, your hands roaming her body. Stella's arms wrapped around your neck. You becaming more passionate, Stella matching your energy at every step.

It was as you undid the back of her dress that you heard it... he was here.

Giving her another kiss you asked her, 'Do you trust me?' Your breathing still raged.

It took a moment, but Stella responded 'Yes, Yes I trust you...' With that you kiss her again, carefully readjusting her dress.

It took another moment, but you heard him. 'Well, well, what do we have here?' The voice was cold, clearly unhappy.

Breaking the kiss, you looked up to find a very angry looking Stolas staring down at you.

You carefully pushed Stella off, giving her a more innocent kiss on her cheek. 'Go play somewhere.' You whispered, standing up.

You turned to face Stolas. The prince was absolutely livid, tapping his fingers on his forearm.

'Stolas! My what a pleasant surprise. What can I do for you?' That was a lie. You specifically picked this spot, at this time because you knew he would see the two of you.

All according to plan.

Stolas spat back, 'Don't talk to me like that you bastard. Trying to fuck my wife. In my own home, do you have no shame.'

You couldn't help but begin laughing. You gripped your legs, laughing so hard it was hard to breath.

Straightening up you looked at Stolas, allowing years of venom to show. 'Shame?' You asked incredulously, 'Your asking me if I have shame?' You chuckled again. 'Pot meet kettle.' You spat at him

Dusted yourself off. 'Shame...?' You spat, through gritted teeth. 'Youre asking me if I have shame? You speak of your lust before your child. Plastering the hellnet with your lust for that satan-damned Imp, Fucking that Hellspawn in the bed, you shared with your Wife. You know nothing of shame, you harlot!' You finished almost screaming.

Stolas grit his teeth, his hands dropping to his side. The weather began to shift.

The once clear sky quickly being replaced with a ocean of grey clouds.

'You think you can take my wife?' He asked seriously. Your smile grew, taking a few steps towards him, smugness growing across your face. 'Think? My good man... I already have.' you tell him simply.

With a flick of his claw Stolas manifested his Grimoire.

In a flash you reached into your coat, pulling out a silver lock and throwing it at the Grimoire.

Almost immediately on impact, dozens of silver vines shot out, wrapping around the book.

Stolas, initially shocked tried to open the book, the lock on its cover not budging against his grip.

He looked up at you, pissed and clearly expecting 'That little item,' you began 'ensures that your little book won't affect the outcome of our little fight, Stolas.'

You smirk at him 'Now' you began 'you'll just have to fight me like a man.'

Stolas seemed both concerned and enraged by this, throwing the book to the side. 'You think I'm scared of you?'

He reached for his cloak, dramatically throwing it to the side.

You just chuckled, cracking your knuckles, the demonic Prince charged, swinging at you.

You easily dodged.

'My, how impressive!' you said, mockingly.

Stolas swung again, and again, missing each time. 'Come on I don't have all day!' You called at him smugly.

Stolas went for a violent haymaker, missing again. This time you retaliated with a hard punch to his nose, hearing a crack apon your fist meeting his face.

He stumbled back, blood dripped from his nose as you taunted him further.

'You know I had such an elaberate plan, Stolas.' You told him, taking out a shiny set of knuckle dusters from back pocket. 'I had every step perfectly worked out, all to turn your family against you.'

Stolas, became enraged, blindly charging at you. You easily dodgeing him, giving him a violent crack to his face.

'And then you, you fool... you did most of the job for me... half my plan, unneeded because you were a selfish, arrogant fool.'

Stolas made it to his feet, his left eye already swelling. He widened his eyes, likely intending to turn you to stone, but before he could, you reached into your pocket and threw a handful of dust at him.

The silver dust shone as it flew through the air, his reaction was instant. Falling to his knees clutching his face.

You chuckled, leaning on your knees for a second, 'When Judas betrayed jesus.' You began.

'He received 30 pieces of silver, as such its toxic to demons. And now it's your payment for all suffering you've put your family through.' You told him, blankly, no emotion in your voice.

'Years, Stolas. I've been preparing for this fight for years. I've played this moments out hundreds, thousands of times. Nothing you can do I havent prepared for.' You wiped your lip, standing up straight. 'Your going to lose.'

You were taunting him now, relishing seeing him suffer.

Reaching down, you grabbed his hair, pulling him up. It was as you were about to taunt him again that you were suddenly punched in the face.

Stumbling back, you found stolas getting to his feet. Wiping his eyes he glared at you, 'You think I'm some push over? I'm a prince! I am a Goetia, I'm not gonna be taken down by some retched lowborne.' He screeched, raising his fists.

You just smiled back, wiping your cheek 'Finally... a real fight.'

The fight was a brutal, Stolas, despite his lanky figure and privileged upbringing, could pack one hell of a punch.

But you were prepared for this.

For every hit Stolas landed, you hit him twice. Every use of magic was thwarted with an item or counter spell. You were almost perfectly matched.

Almost.

You stood across from each other, fists bloody, clothes filthy and torn, bruised and battered.

Still a smile adorned your face. Chuckling, you began 'you've put up one hell of a fight, Stolas.' You said as though remembering something. 'But even if you beat me, I still win!' You told him smugly.

Stolas cocked his brow, 'what are you going on about.' You smiled again, before reaching into your jacket before you pulling out a long white feather.

'Stella, your uh, "wife"...'you ran the feathered across your nose, taking in her lingering scent. 'We've been fucking for the past year now.' You chuckled again 'we fucked everywhere, her study... your bed, and man... can she scream.'

That set him off, he charged you, releasing a desperate a d furious, battle cry, swinging like a mad man.

You dodged the swing, and with one final uppercut the demon Prince stumbled back. He looked at you shocked, before smacking into the ground.

You couldn't help but laugh. The piece of shit fell like a sack of rocks.

Turning around you found a very concerned Stella. With a smile you walked towards her, stumbling over your battered legs.

Stella ran to your side, helping you keep up right.

You chuckled, pulling her in for a kiss. 'I have something for you.' You told her, your voice course and worn.

Reaching into your coat, you pulled out a small black case.

Breaking her grip, you stepped back and fell to your knee.

Taking several deep breaths you began, 'Stella. You are my light in the darkness, the love of my life. There is nothing I wouldn't do for you.'

Opening the case, you showed the sparkling diamond ring. 'Stella, my love. Will you marry me.'

Stella looked shocked, tears coming to her eyes as she covered her mouth.

It took a moment, but she nodded her head, 'Yes... yes I'll marry you.' She said, her voice thick with emotion.

You just smiled.

Everything was perfect.

Just as you planned.

[drarrily-we-row-along]

Day 5: Possessiveness

Draco had a lot of toxic traits, or so he'd been told. He'd dated enough men in the past five years to know that not much of his personality was what people were looking for in an ideal partner.

Two months ago, he had started dating Harry Potter. Yes. The Harry Potter. And he was quite determined to put all of the information about the unappealing parts of himself that he'd garnered from previous partners to good use. Harry was the best thing that had ever happened to him and he wasn't going to mess it up, thank you very much.

This was how he found himself, on his twenty-fourth birthday, telling his boyfriend that it was fine for him to miss his dinner party.

"Babe, I'm really sorry," Harry murmured, running his hand through his hair. "I know tonight is important-"

"Stop," Draco said, turning from the mirror he was using to watch himself finish his skin care routine, and leaning in to press a kiss to Harry's nose. "I can only be so gracious about it," he added.

Harry huffed a laugh.

"Just go," Draco said. "I know it's important."

"I could quit," Harry offered for the third time and something about that thought made the corner of Draco's lips turn up. "Sometimes I think this whole working for the Ministry thing isn't working out anyway."

"Go," Draco said, swatting him lightly with his towel. "It's okay."

"It's not," Harry replied.

It wasn't. His boyfriend missing his birthday dinner really sucked and Draco honestly felt quite bitter about it but Harry would never need to know that. "Go," he said again. "Then you can come back."

He felt quite proud that at this moment, he was keeping several of his toxic traits to himself. He'd kept the neediness at bay, kept the whinging at bay, kept the bitchiness at bay, and kept the possessiveness at bay.

Harry leaned in and gave him a kiss, wrapping his arms around Draco's waist, "What have I possibly done to deserve you?" he asked, and he said it so sincerely that Draco couldn't help but believe that he meant it even though there was no logical reason for him to. "I'll try to get back soon."

"What more could I ask for?" Draco asked, even as every part of him want to demand, and argue, and beg that Harry stay with him.

(More below the cut)

"A good deal, I'd imagine," Harry said wryly. "I know my work is a lot-"

"Yes," Draco agreed, "But you were very upfront about it when we started dating. It's not as though I didn't know something like this could happen."

Harry pressed a kiss to his forehead, "You're an angel. I will see you as soon as I possibly can slip away from this stupid function."

He gave him a little smile, "Best be on your way savior," he murmured.

With one last kiss Harry stepped into the fireplace and flooed to the ministry.

Draco counted to five before he let the displeasure he was feeling show on his face. He slumped back over to the mirror to look at himself. He was only able to wallow in self pity for a few minutes before there was a knock at the door.

He smoothed his features, you never could be sure who would come knocking at Harry's bedroom door in grimmauld place, it seemed like there was no end to the number of friends who simply made themselves at home here. "Come in," he called, keeping his voice chipper.

"Everyone decent?" Pansy said as she opened the door, carrying two flutes of champagne with her.

"It's just me," Draco replied, trying not to sound forlorn.

"Oh good," Pansy replied, nudging the door closed behind her and plopping down on the sofa. "And here I thought I was going to have to fight Potter to give me a few minutes alone with you. Where is he? Fetching you some cake?"

"Hardly."

"New shoes?"

He sighed, "He had to go to work."

"What?" she all but shrieked. "You tell me where he is right now and I will go and tell him-"

"I told him to go," he interrupted.

"But-"

"No," he said with a shake of the head. "No buts, Pans. I really like him and I'm not going to mess it up. Just," he sighed, "leave it, alright?"

Pansy gave him a pitying look, but thankfully let it drop.

---------

It was nearly midnight by the time the floo flared and Harry stepped back through. Part of Draco had wished that he'd just gone to bed before the other man got home so he didn't have to pretend that everything was fine.

"Hey," Harry said, making his way over to where Draco was on the couch. He sounded exhausted.

"Hi," Draco replied.

Harry leaned down and pressed a kiss to Draco's temple before sitting down next to him, "How was the party?"

"Fine," Draco replied. "Good."

Frowning, Harry groaned. "You're upset," he said. "I knew it. I'm so sorry, Draco-"

"No," he said, shaking his head. "It's fine. It's really-"

"It's not." Harry turned so he was facing Draco but Draco couldn't bring himself to look back. "I'm sorry, babe. This is all my fault, I should have told them no about that bloody fundraiser."

"Yes," Draco said sarcastically. "That would have gone over well, 'Sorry, I can't come to do a fundraiser for children orphaned during the war. It's my death eater boyfriend's birthday and he's a whiny, possessive bitch."

"I would never say that about you. I would never even think that about you!" Harry protested.

"I'm just saying, Harry, that you are their savior. And I am just your boyfriend."

He ran his fingers through his hair, tugging on the ends, "I don't want to be," he finally burst.

Draco paused, unsure what to say to that. Eventually, he settled on a careful, "Sorry?" Hoping against all odds that Harry wasn't about to break up with him.

"I don't want to be anybody's savior," Harry whispered. "I don't want to be the bloke who saved the world. I don't want to be a war hero. Most of the time I think I don't even want to be an auror; it's just what was expected."

"What do you want to be?" he asked carefully.

"Your's," Harry said, shrugging helplessly.

And the little monster that lived inside of Draco that told him to take, and claim, and hold, and all but smother his partners, raised its ugly little head.

"Sorry," Harry apologized, rubbing his hands over his face and not looking at Draco. "I know it's only been two months and it's a ridiculous thing to say but the only time I feel like me is when I'm with you."

Draco just stared at him, unable to speak, hardly able to even process what he was saying.

"I feel like I'm just Harry when I'm with you and I wish that instead of people thinking 'oh, that's Harry Potter, savior of the world,' that they'd think, 'oh, that's Harry Potter, he was clever enough to trick Draco Malfoy into wanting to be with him.'"

"What?" he whispered.

"Sorry," Harry apologized again, trying to backpedal. "I know, I'm making a mess of everything like always. I've jumped in too fast, and I'm too emotional, and I'm not what anyone thinks I should-"

"Harry," Draco said, finally looking at him, really looking at him. He looked as shattered as Draco felt. "Harry," he whispered again. "You are perfect."

"That's what I'm trying to tell you," Harry said, "I'm not-"

"I hear you," Draco said, hoping that he could convey his meaning and sincerity. "I mean that you are perfect, in all of your faults and flaws. In your sarcasm and the petty things you say about your coworkers, in your ranting and raving about our justice system, in the moments that you choose something you deem selfish like sleeping for an extra hour when you think you should be out doing more, in jumping in too fast and being too emotional, in all that you are, you are perfect."

"Draco," Harry breathed as though he couldn't believe what Draco was saying to him.

"You're not the one tricking me, Harry," he whispered, the confession making his heart ache. "I'm the one tricking you. I'm selfish and whiny. I'm petty and vindictive, and I want you all to myself all of the time. I-"

"Draco, I like those things about you," Harry said. "That little pout you get when I'm about to leave, the way you hold me just a little bit tighter when I tell you that I'm going to have to go soon. The petty little plans you have to inconvenience people at my job when they've annoyed me. And the way you're always putting your arm around me or holding my hand when we're in public, like you're so proud to be with me, like you're ready to fight off a slew of attackers at any moment."

"Admirers, more likely," Draco grumbled.

"I like that," Harry said. "I like your possessiveness."

"Really?"

He nodded and reached over to tuck a strand of hair behind Draco's ear. "Draco, can I be honest?" he asked.

"Always."

"I think I'm in love with you," he said. "And I know it's fast; you don't have to say it back or anything. I know that I-"

"I love you, too." Draco replied before another word could spill from the other man's mouth. "I love you, Harry."

Harry blinked at him, "Really?" he whispered.

Draco nodded and leaned in to give him a soft, short kiss. When he pulled back Harry stared at him with something akin to wonder on his face.

"Please never miss one of my birthdays again," Draco murmured.

Harry pulled him over until Draco was cradled in his arms, "Never," he promised. "Please stop hiding yourself from me," he asked in return.

"Same goes for you."

"Okay," Harry breathed.

And Draco thought this was the first step for both of them in becoming who they were meant to be.

Day 4: Jealousy | Day 6: Proposal

[petite-ely]

Afraid // JJ Maybank

Seven- Mommy Issues

Pairing: JJ Maybank x fem routledge! reader

Warnings: mommy issues, mother abandonment, anger, maybe some mistakes, tell me if I missed anything

Description: y/n has always wanted answers about her mother, but the truth seems more harsh than what she had in mind.

A/n : hello, hello friends. Sorry for not updating sooner. I had absolutely no inspiration, lol. Anyways, hope you enjoyyyy! :) (also I know the gif is terrible quality but I really wanted to put this clip and I couldn’t find any cleaner option to make a gif)

Previously

Afraid Masterlist

Song recommendation

Gif made by me!

As a child, y/n never realized how her family was different than the others. A lot of kids on the cut had single parents, it wasn’t that big of a deal. Her mom had left when she was only three, to go pursue her dream job in Colorado. It wasn’t a bad thing in the girl’s eyes. It didn’t feel like she was missing out on anything.

As she blossomed into adolescence, y/n finally understood how unconventional her family was. She heard the other girls at her school talk about their mothers. About the cakes they made or the precious moments they spent together. Mother-daughter bonding moments. She had to admit it she felt jealous. Or maybe was it envious?

She had lived all her life without a mother to kiss her scraped knees or braid her hair before going to sleep. And she would have given anything to experience it, even for one single night.

It wasn’t that she didn’t love her brother or her father, far from it, she adored them. They were both so precious to her. Still, she felt as if something was missing from her. Or more like someone.

She didn’t remember her mother, she was so young at the time, but she cherished the stories her father had told her. She fed her imagination on these stories. Making up fake memories where her mother was still there. In her heart it was all real. Reality was bitter compared to the sweet comfort of her imagination.

By the time she was 12, she’d heard the famous story enough to know it by heart, each word of the letter engraved into her head. She begged her father again and again. She wanted more stories, even the smallest anecdotes, she wanted to hear them all. Anything to improve the sketch, constantly redrawn, of the woman she didn’t remember. The woman she couldn’t really call a mother.

She knew the story by heart and yet it felt incomplete. She’d heard enough fairytales and read enough books to know when a story was complete. This one wasn’t.

And she was right.

A week after the twins’s 13th birthday, their dad gathered them around the kitchen table. He wanted to talk. It was very important. Y/n had to admit, this was quite strange, as her father was never the one to bring up important issues. In front of him was placed an envelope, yellowed with the years.

The girl knew this envelope all too well. Every scratch, every little bump, she could almost feel them on the tip of her fingers. It was her mother’s letter. This time, when he pulled out the folded pages, a third paper came out. The missing part.

Big John didn’t say anything, only slid the pearl white sheet to the twins. And though no words came out of his mouth, a million could be seen in his gaze. He wore an unfamiliar expression on his face. It was mix of sadness, fear and regrets. It was the expression of a man who only wanted to protect his children from being hurt.

The missing paper read as so:

“This is my dream, John.

And I know you might think there’s a way for us to fix this, but there isn’t. This time you can’t fix it.

When I got pregnant with the kids, I was so scared. And when I told you, I saw this glimmer in your eyes. This flame suddenly being lit inside of you. You were so excited to have your first child and it was twins! You seemed so happy. It was beautiful.

Then I thought that maybe we could do this, maybe I could be a mother. I had you, so everything would be fine. My friends kept talking about this amazing connection that felt with their babies when they were carrying them. But I never felt it with the twins.

And I thought that maybe once I held them in my arms I would finally feel it. That motherly connection. It never came. And I tried, John. I tried so hard. But I just can’t.

I do love them, I love them so much, but not the way you do. Not the way a parent loves their child It can’t do it, I’m sorry. I wasn’t meant to be a mother. Life is cruel that way sometimes.

If there’s one thing I’m certain of, it’s that you were meant for this. I can see it in the way you look at them. You can do this, John. I know.

Be the parent I will never be able to be.”

Y/n’s curious eyes scanned the paper excitedly. Her face showed a variety of emotions in the span of a few minutes. First, excitement and joy, then, confusion and finally, anger. The tip of her ears burned red, her hand shaking beneath the table.

John B. placed the paper on the table, a loud sigh escaping his lips. Though, compared to his sister, he seemed relatively calm.

Y/n couldn’t contain it anymore. She stormed out of the house, her feet shoeless and her shoulders bare. She had no idea where she was going, but she ran.

It didn’t matter. As long as she was going somewhere. As long as she was moving and running, then she wouldn’t have to think. And if she was thinking, then her mind would take her to a bad place. She didn’t want to go there. So she ran.

The Routledges were never reputed to be angry people, much less violent. They were generally very calm, maybe a bit arrogant, but always composed. Of course, when a Routledge was after something, they would do anything in order to obtain it.

But y/n was one of the exception. She was the first Routledge woman in nearly 150 years. For generations, every Routledge man had sons, who had sons, who had sons until her father. He had a son and a daughter.

She wasn’t an angry person or mean in any way. On the contrary, she was kind and gentle. But compared to her brother and her dad, she felt emotions deeply.

And maybe it was her mother’s side and not the Routledge in her. It was so intense, sometimes. Almost blinding, at some moments. It was like the emotions took over her. It didn’t happen very often but it felt like she didn’t control her body anymore.

When she finally came back to her senses, y/n was standing on an empty beach. She hadn’t realized how far she’d gotten until she felt the warm sand under her feet. A cold breeze wrapped itself around her shoulders. She was so far from home. And so alone.

She walked to the ocean, letting her toes dip gently into the water. The water was cold but calming. Her anger slowly disappeared with each breath she took, until finally she could see everything clearly again.

Y/n turned away. She thought of going back home, when a wave of emotions hit her. She fell to the ground. It was like the air had been sucked out of her lungs.

Her chest burned, she felt like she had swallowed fire. Her shoulders shook and loud sobs escaped her lips. She dug her hands into the sand, trying to ground herself. It didn’t stop her tears from crashing onto her shirt.

A shadow appeared in front of her and she recognized its shape in a matter of seconds. It could only be one person.

“Are you hear to laugh at me?” She said through tears.

“No, not this time,” said John B. He sat down beside her, his eyes looking into hers. “Oh, y/n.” He wiped the tears off of her face

“I’m sorry,” she sniffled. “It’s just that, that,” he placed his arm around her shoulder, she took a deep breath. “Part of me always thought that she would come back.”

“That she’d come stay with us and finally be our mom. But she’s never coming back, ever,” her tone was almost accusing. “I lost so much time making up scenarios for her and she doesn’t even love us.”

“You know that’s not true,” reasoned John.

“Yeah, but it feels like it.”

“We don’t need her anyway,” stated the boy. “We’ve got dad, surfing, plenty of fish and well, each other. It’s not that bad is it?”

“No, you’re right.” She looked at him. “I just feel like I’m missing out on something. Like I’m,” she paused, looking for the right word, “incomplete.”

“I get it. If the roles were reversed and dad wasn’t there, I guess I would feel that way too,” confided her brother. “But don’t give her this much power. She doesn’t get to make you feel this way. You’re whole on your own, y/n/n.”

“Thank you, bird.” She slid her arm around his shoulder, letting her head rest on top of it. “You know, you can be an amazing brother sometimes.”

“Sometimes?”

“Yeah, sometimes.”

“Hey, bird?” “Yeah?”

“How did you find me, anyway?”

“You always come here when you wanna be dramatic.”

“I do not!”

“You so do!”

And slowly, the imaginary memories fell apart and disappeared. Y/n didn’t need them anymore. She’d be better in the real world.

Taglist

@kaelyn-lobrutto24 @poguestyle17 @im-a-stranger-thing @lasnaro @thoughtsofthestars @briandaflores19 @lunaposey @allycat449-blog @ifilwtmfc @kitty084 @coloradogirl07 @ponyboys-sunsets @chaoticbisous @p0gue420 @sloaneemily @babygal-babygal @itsagurl @mendesmaybank

If you wanna be added or removed or if I forgot you, tell me and it’ll be modified!

[peachsayshi]

Chapter 11 - Friends

Tags: Friends with Benefits, Angst, Fluff

Summary: You convince Gojo to make up with your best friend and memories from the past come up. 

A/N: A wild ex-boyfriend appears! I am finally introducing the character and getting into some backstory. I got some smutty chapters coming up, which I am excited to share because I do love writing sexy Gojo X comments are always appreciated! 

- - - 

( Three Years Ago)

You cleared the plates in front of you as you made your way back to your kitchen. You packed the meal that you had taken the time to meticulously prepare, including the expensive steaks you bought this morning and the vegetables that you hand picked at the farmer’s market. As you opened the fridge to put away the items, you saw the row of vanilla cupcakes placed neatly on a pan, your shaky handwriting spread across each one that read “ Five Years ” with red hearts decorated on the extras. Suddenly, it all seemed silly how you took the time to prepare a surprise anniversary dinner for your boyfriend. You’ve both been together for so long but you still insisted on making every occasion special.

After you tidied up your dining table, you picked up the wine glass you have been nursing for the last hour and made your way over to your bedroom, where you sat on the chair next to your vanity. You removed the earrings that your boyfriend had bought you for your birthday, your favorite pair because they matched beautifully against your skin, and safely tucked them away in your jewelry box. You were disappointed that you made such a big deal out of tonight, feeling like a sentimental fool as you took a sip of your drink. Haru has been so preoccupied with work lately and the pressure of being in a highly competitive field was getting to him. Of course with the way things have been he wouldn’t remember that tonight was your anniversary dinner. You were trying to be mature about it but you couldn’t ignore that you were hurt. You glanced at your phone, reading 10:45 on the clock before finally giving up on the hope that he would show up.

You removed the dress you were wearing, a bold shade of orange that accentuated your body in all the right places - a dress that he bought you while you both went on a summer trip to Okinawa a few years ago. You changed into something a little more comfortable, throwing on a tank top and some loose lounge pants instead.

You heard your phone ping, a message popping up on the screen from Gojo.

Gojo : How did the dinner go?

You sighed to yourself, before plopping down onto your mattress. You tapped away at the keyboard, erasing each message a few times as you were unsure whether you wanted to vent or give him a brief explanation.

You : It didn’t…I think he’s still at work :(

Gojo : That sucks :\ Well, if you have any leftover cupcakes, I will gladly take them off your hands.

You: Nice try, idiot.

Gojo: I didn’t hear you say I couldn’t have any :)

When you didn’t respond to his message, Gojo followed up with another text that read:

Gojo: You okay?

You: I’m fine, I was just looking forward to tonight. I’ll get over myself. Tell me about your night, you can keep me preoccupied from my disappointment lol

Gojo merely responded with some eye emojis, a cheeky indication as to what he has been up to this evening.

You: At least one of us got some action...what’s her name?

Gojo: No idea, I was too distracted by her legs to care.  

You merely rolled your eyes at his comment.

You: It doesn’t take much to get you going, does it?

Gojo: I’m a simple guy, really…

You: …

Gojo: …

You: In WHAT universe?!

Gojo : Pshh, so mean to me all the time :(

You: With reason :)

You smiled when you sent that last text, grateful that Gojo came in at the right time with a distraction. You tried your best not to dwell on the dismal way your evening ended and instead continued to list off the many reasons why the word “simple” and “Gojo Satoru” did not go hand and hand with each other. Your conversation made time fly but that was usually the case whenever you spoke with your friend.

You were so lost in the playfully heated debate you were having, you barely heard the knock coming from your front door.

You abandoned your conversation to see who it was, surprised to find a massive bouquet of flowers greeting you on the other side.

“What…”

Haru peaked from behind the flowers, his sweet smile spreading as he looked at you with sad eyes.

“Happy anniversary!” he chirped, but you could hear the anxiousness in his tone. “ I know I’m late, I know I missed dinner…”

A deep sigh escaped him, as he slightly slumped his shoulders, extending both his hands out to you to pass the bouquet.

“I know this is a meaningless gift in comparison to whatever amazing thing you prepared, I know my efforts don’t even come close to yours, you always put so much care into everything you do. By the time I knew I was late, I was running around the city like a mad man hoping that someone, anyone, would be kind enough to open their shop for me so I would at least not come back empty handed…”

“Haru, take a breath…” you replied, hearing how quickly he was blurting out his words, something he usually did when he was nervous.

You took the bouquet from his hands, admiring the selected assortment of your favorite florals, all picked out by your boyfriend. You traced your fingers along each petal, some a little bruised and you could tell that these flowers were from  the leftovers of the day.

Haru approached you, cupping your face in his hands as he leaned down and planted a kiss on your lips.

“I’m so sorry . None of my excuses justify missing dinner tonight. I swear I am going to make it up to you…”

You tried to calm him down, running your fingers through his light brown hair and taking in every word he said as you remained focused on his hazel eyes. Your heart flutters thinking of him galavanting around the city in his disheveled work suit trying to knock on every florists’ door, a funny anecdote you will surely use against him in the future.  

“How do you plan on making it up to me?” You teased, noticing the way his brow raised at your question.

He pulled you closer into him, planting kisses along your neck before he brushed his lips against your ear to say, “I’m taking the weekend off, how does a nice trip to Hakone sound?”

“ Mmm, ideal… ” you replied, clutching the bouquet of flowers as he hugged you, “but if you keep holding me close, you’re going to ruin this lovely gift you bought me…”

“Then I’ll buy you another, and another, and another ...until I’ve given you enough flowers so that you can plant an entire garden,” he kissed you again, his fingers stroking the back of your neck as he pressed his forehead against yours.

“I’m so sorry, baby…” he repeated, his voice wavering slightly from his second apology.

“It’s okay, work comes first. I know you have been busy and probably should have planned our evening with you instead of surprising you. But you’re here now and that's what matters.”

He nodded his head, finally untangling himself from your arms, relieved that you seemed to have forgiven him.

“ I love you so much.”

“ I love you too, Haru .”

You gave him a small smile, tilting your head towards the direction of your kitchen, “It might be too late for dinner but I baked you some cupcakes if you’re up for a little snack…”

Haru removed his blazer, carefully hanging it over his elbow before undoing the first few buttons of his shirt. He held your hand, following your footsteps as you led him into the direction of your kitchen.

“ I can’t wait to try them. ”

( Present)

“ You brought me here under false pretences …” Gojo grumbled, holding himself back as you tugged on his jacket.

It’s been four months since the two of you started hooking up and weeks since he and Rina have even spoken to one another.

After Gojo confessed that she knew about your relationship, you managed to find the time to sit down with your best friend for a heart to heart. The two of you had a ritual which included locking yourselves up in a room with snacks  and drinks until you came to resolve whatever conflict you were dealing with.

“I just don’t understand why you kept this from me,” Rina explained, before taking a sip of the mixed cocktail you both made.

“ You’ve been so overprotective ever since Haru and I broke up…it’s hard for me to talk to you because you start analyzing every little thing I do. Like when I told you I wanted to stop dating for a while, you kept insisting that I was making a mistake because I was running scared…”

“I also know you’re a hopeless romantic, and a few bad dates weren’t fitting this idealised version you have of love…” Rina pressed, “You got lucky with Haru, but diving back into the game takes time and work…”

“I know I was lucky. I know it’s not usual for the first guy you meet to be so… good ,” you replied, that word tasting bitter in your mouth, “But you keep pressuring me into something I am not ready for…”

“That’s not true!”

“Rina, you would take me out on “surprise” double dates when the two of us were just supposed to just be hanging out together. Whenever I talk about Haru, you shut down and change the subject immediately. I can’t even have a night out together without you herding every single eligible male and asking me my opinion…”

Rina sighed, “it sounds way worse when you say it out loud...”

“It’s like you can’t stand that I’m just… a little broken . I let Haru become a part of who I am for five years and losing him feels like I lost a part of me, and I am struggling trying to get that person back. You want me to be okay so badly it’s stopping me from opening up to you…”

Rina inched her way closer as the two of you sat side by side. A sigh escaped her before she spoke, “I’m not good at this…I’m sorry for making you feel that way. I just can’t stand seeing you so hurt. I know that he took a piece of your happiness and I am so angry that he did. I hate that he betrayed your trust, but more so that you haven’t been able to be yourself without him…”

She squeezed your shoulder before giving you a gentle reminder, “but he never defined you. You’re attaching yourself to the love you had for him. And you will find somebody else, somebody better …”

“Maybe but I can’t see myself falling in love again…at least not anytime soon…”

Rina rested her head on your elbow, “I don’t want you to ever think you can’t speak to me…we’ve lasted way longer than all the exes that have walked in and out of our lives…”

You were happy to mend this small fracture, one of the many that has tried to hinder your friendship.

You eventually explained your little arrangement with Gojo, watching Rina’s reaction closely and trying to pull the truth of what she  exactly  said to him.

“I may have thought you were dating, like seriously dating, and told him he wasn’t good enough for you. I am glad to know that you are not. We don’t need to trade one man whore for another…”

You laughed, “Gojo has always made it clear that he has no desire to commit to anyone. I’m not worried. Besides, we can stop our arrangement anytime we are over it.”

“Sooo, when might that be?”

You shrugged your shoulders, “right now, I’m having fun and I think he is too…”

Rina hummed, you could tell she was thinking about something but whatever ran through her mind in that moment she chose to keep to herself.

Even though you and Rina smoothed things over, you realised that neither she or Gojo tried to make an effort to speak to one another. He was avoiding her at all costs while she chose to ignore  the subject entirely. You still had no idea what was said that set those two off but you were over this cold game they were playing.

“Between your inability to handle any confrontation and her stubborn attitude, you two are going to drag this on for way longer than it needs to be…” you lectured.

You paused when you arrived at her store, staring up at Gojo with pleading eyes. “I don’t like being the reason why you two aren’t speaking… please just talk to her…”

Gojo whined, “throw it on my conscience instead, that way you have no reason to feel guilty…”

You furrowed your brows before letting go of him, but a thought passed your mind which gave you an idea, “Remember that thing you brought up the other night? Your little roleplaying idea…”

Gojo arched his brows from underneath his blindfold, surprised that you were even bringing this up. “ Yes… ”

You smirked, stepping closer to him without actually touching him at all. “If you do this for me then I'll happily return the favor…”

His eyes widened, his heart racing slightly as a wave of excitement rushed through him.

You could see he was contemplating your offer, finally scoffing in defeat. “You know saying no to you was a lot easier when you weren’t bribing me with sex…” he grumbled, as he begrudgingly walked passed you.

“You did tell me once that you were a man of simple taste…”

“And I vividly remember you disagreeing with me.”

“Thank you!” You called out watching him reach the handle of the entrance door.

“Just know I am expecting you to hold up your end of the deal,” he replied before making his way inside.

***

Gojo sat at the counter, the awkward silence hung heavy in the air as Rina waited for him to break the tension. When that didn’t happen, she sighed to herself before storming to the backroom of her shop.

Gojo waited for her return, his eyes widening when she finally reappeared with something in her hands.

“ I’m sorry for how I spoke to you,” she said, bowing in his direction and handing him some treats.

“Aww, Rina-chan, how did you know kikufuku was my favorite?” Gojo questioned, his tone softening his sweet words as he held the packet between his fingers.

“I heard it through the grapevine…”

Gojo couldn’t hide his pleasured grin.

You were always so considerate of everyone, going above and beyond to make them happy and paying close attention to the things they liked the most. You must have already spoken to Rina before he came here, playing the role of matchmaker between friends.

Rina definitely noticed his response.

“Thank you,” he replied as he opened up the packet, “I know your anger was coming from a protective place. I don’t fault you for it. Besides, you and I can happily agree on one thing…”

“What’s that?”

Gojo smirked, “she’s too good for me…”

Rina swallowed hard, mainly because of how sincere that statement actually sounded.

“I care about her…”

Gojo hummed to himself, taking a bite of the sweet snack. “And you think I don’t?”

“Can I be honest?”

“ Please. ”

“I am not questioning your care for her, I am questioning what your intentions are. I won’t apologize for not trusting you.  You promised me after she broke up with Haru that you wouldn’t make a move on her but here we are now…”

“I kept my promise.”

“You found a loophole…”

“It’s been three years…she’s allowed to move on.”

“Yes she is…”

“You know, I was surprised by how angry you got at her for keeping us a secret, especially since we both know that there are plenty of things you’re hiding from her right now. Then I started thinking that it wasn’t the secret that was bothering you, you just don’t want her moving on with me…”

Rina averted her gaze, completely surprised by how easily Gojo read her.

“Like I said, I don’t trust you…”

He leaned forward to rest his elbows on the counter, “What did Haru tell you exactly?”

“Why are you asking?”

“I just want to know if you’re still adamant on convincing yourself that I am the bad guy or if you would like to know what actually happened between us…”

*** 

CHAPTER 12 - MUSE

[thinkingisadangerouspastime]

we have all eternity (to love the dead)

As a child, Katara had always dreamed of meeting her soulmate, of being swept off her feet by some dashing stranger, of hearing her name fall from their lips like snowflakes fluttering down from the pink sky above. She’d found solace in this perfect person, and she’d used their unlimited potential to distract herself from the horrors of war ever surrounding her icy home.

The day Katara learned she didn’t have a soulmate, she’d wept for hours.

For Katara and Aang, fate works in mysterious ways.

(Written for Day 7 of Kataang Week 2021: The Sea & The Sky/Soulmate AU, hosted by @kataang-week. Read here on AO3 or continue reading below.)

Soulmates were everything a person wanted and more, or so the legends told. As a child, Katara had always dreamed of meeting her soulmate, of being swept off her feet by some dashing stranger, of hearing her name fall from their lips like snowflakes fluttering down from the pink sky above. She’d found solace in this perfect person, and she’d used their unlimited potential to distract herself from the horrors of war ever surrounding her icy home.

Sokka had teased her about it, her tendency to drift into dreams, but she knew he longed to meet his soulmate, too. As such, his barbs never dug deep.

The day Katara learned she didn’t have a soulmate, she’d wept for hours. Her mother’s words of comfort had fallen upon uncaring ears, because what did it matter that a rare few were born without soulmates, what did it matter that she could lead a happy life without one, what did it matter that she had such a unique opportunity for freedom in her passion, why, why did it have to be her? How was that fair?

Deep down, Katara suspected she’d always known. The name of one’s soulmate was the first word spoken on a child’s first birthday, oftentimes the first word they’d ever say. Sokka had known the name of his soulmate for as long as Katara could remember, and he would express his excitement about meeting her on only the quietest of nights.

Yue, he’d say, breathless, the word but a whisper slipping from the tip of his tongue. Have you ever heard a more beautiful name?

Katara would always giggle in reply. No, Sokka, I haven’t.

Sokka would then stare up at the star-dotted, moonlit sky, his face and body washed over with a pale silver glow. You know, I bet the moon doesn’t even hold a candle to her.

Every time, Katara would rest her head on his shoulder and agree. Every time, Katara was unable to offer up a name of her own. The signs were there, they’d always been there, the nagging terror that on her first birthday she had been—

“You were silent, sweetie,” her mother had told her on her eighth birthday, holding Katara’s face in her hands as Katara screamed and cried like a child whose future had been ripped away from her. To eight-year-old Katara, maybe it had been. “But Katara, listen to me. Just because you don’t have a soulmate doesn’t mean you won’t find love.”

“Yes it does, Mom,” Katara had sobbed, shaking her head and trying to pull away from her mother. “It means there’s no one out there who’s perfect for me!” Years of fantasies, years of hopes and dreams, the possibility of freedom and the end of this war were gone, destroyed, torn to pieces, and there was no putting them back together.

“Shh, sweetie, I need you to take a deep breath,” her mother had crooned, thumbing a tear from beneath Katara’s eye. “I need you to listen very closely to what I’m about to tell you, okay?”

It had taken a minute, but Katara remembered that she’d managed to do as instructed, because even—or perhaps especially—at her lowest points, she would always turn to the advice of her mother. When her sobs had faded to quiet hiccups, her mother continued.

“I know it hurts to not have a soulmate, Katara, and it is more than okay for you to let yourself feel that hurt. But in some ways, I promise your life is better this way. Do you want to know why?”

Katara had nodded, doubt riddled in her bones.

“Because without a soulmate, sweetie, it means you get to have a choice. Some soulmates are destined to end in destruction or pain, others in tragedy, but you, Katara?” Her mother had placed a gentle, teary kiss to Katara’s forehead. “You get to choose if that love is worth it. And the power of choice is something hard to find these days.”

At the time, Katara had barely processed those words, instead letting her mother pull her into the tightest of hugs as she began to cry all over again. It wasn’t fair, it wasn’t fair, it wasn’t fair.

But what was truly unfair, Katara now knew, was just how right her mother had been. Some soulmates were fated to end in destruction, in pain, in tragedy.

A week later, the Fire Nation navy had taken her mother’s life before Katara’s own eyes. That same day, her father had lost his own life, his spirit shattered and torn apart into a million little pieces that might never find their way back together. Not another week had gone by before he’d left. Left to fight, he’d told her and Sokka, but Katara had never been so certain.

Destruction.

Now, eight years later, Katara could only watch in unspoken horror as the life faded from Princess Yue’s delicate body, her form slumping weakly against Sokka’s chest as he buried his face in the fur of her coat and screamed. There was no return from such a sacrifice.

Pain.

Katara found Aang later that night, after the Fire Nation’s navy had been turned away from the Northern Water Tribe when he’d channeled the might of the Ocean Spirit. He was sitting atop an icy railing, feet dangling off the edge, either not cold or uncaring of the North Pole’s frigid nature. Katara joined him, resting her elbows on the same railing. Together they stared out over the city, up at the moon, away into the stars.

Tragedy.

Aang sucked in a sharp breath, and Katara suspected she knew what question was headed her way. “They were… They were soulmates, weren’t they?”

Katara nodded. She didn’t need Aang to specify to know the two star-crossed lovers he was referring to. “They were.”

Aang grimaced, eyes closing as he exhaled slowly, a reaction of distress and defeat. “Spirits. Poor Sokka.”

Katara nodded again. She’d tried to get her brother to talk about it earlier, but… he needed time alone. As much as she wanted to be there for him, the way silent sobs had been wracking Sokka’s body spoke for itself, and she’d let him be. Which was how she’d ended up out here, night nearing dawn, standing at Aang’s right.

“You know,” she said after a pause, bitterness seeping into her tone before she could stop it, “for all the eternal bliss soulmates are supposed to bring each other, I don’t know of any two in my life that have ever been lucky enough to be granted a happy ending.”

Her mother and Yue, sacrificing themselves for the sake of others, leaving her father and Sokka behind to mend gaping wounds in their hearts that no stitches could close. Gran Gran’s husband had died long before Katara was born, yet she knew now that her grandmother’s soulmate had never been someone in the Southern Water Tribe but instead a stubborn man on the opposite end of the world. And yet all that time, all those years, her grandmother had held on to Pakku’s necklace, passing it down to Kya and then to her.

Tragedy, destruction, heartbreak.

Aang nodded glumly. “I know what you mean.”

Katara blinked, wincing as his words sunk in. Aang was a kid a hundred years out of time—spirits, of course he understood her sentiment. How callous had it been, no, how egregiously cruel had she been to even mention it?

But it was too late to take the words back.

“Monk Gyatso never told me who his soulmate was,” Aang continued before Katara could apologize. He was staring up at the moon but, Katara suspected, seeing something else entirely. “Just that… they could never be together. And Bumi—”

“The king of Omashu?”

“—yeah, him.” Aang swallowed hard, shaking his head. “I remember that his soulmate was killed in an earthbending accident before either of them turned nine years old.”

He stopped there, but Katara could tell there were words still hidden behind the cloak of silence. Aang’s own soulmate, presumably, a person now lost to time. And seeing as Katara had been the one to bring it up, it was only right she offered to share his burden, too.

Katara placed a hand on top of Aang’s. A beat passed, and he turned his hand over, palm upwards, before gently lacing their fingers together. “Tell me about them,” Katara whispered, and a ghost of a smile flitted across Aang’s lips.

“His name was Kuzon.”

Soon Aang was regaling her with stories of all the mischief they’d gotten into together, how once upon a time it had been only natural for an Air Nomad to have a best friend from the Fire Nation. They’d protected a dragon egg from poachers, taught each other the dances of their respective nations, stayed up until sunrise seeking out their own constellations in the stars, and now—

“And now,” Aang whispered, his grip on her hand slackening as his shoulders fell, “it’s been a hundred years. I don’t know…” He trailed off, but Katara heard the final word, unsaid though it may have been.

Anything.

What fate had met Kuzon, if he’d missed Aang after he’d vanished, if they ever could have been something more than what they were.

“I’m so sorry,” Katara said, and she was.

Aang nodded. “Thank you.” His voice was hushed, fractured, heartbroken when he added, “I’m sorry, too.”

And she knew he was.

Katara gave his hand a gentle squeeze, moving closer to Aang’s side. Their shoulders brushed, and her heart fluttered for a reason she couldn’t quite and maybe didn’t yet want to discern.

“I don’t even have a soulmate,” she admitted after a pause, keeping her eyes glued to the stars. They glittered the same way every night, didn’t they? Unchanging. Permanent. “Naturally, I was devastated to learn that as a child. I cried so much they could have made a sculpture with my frozen tears.”

Aang chuckled at her attempt at humor, or maybe just at her dry tone, but hearing the warm sound made a smile tug at Katara’s lips all the same.

“My mother told me that I was lucky, in some ways,” she continued. “Without a soulmate, she said that I’d get to choose if the love I pursued was worth it.” Katara licked her lips, hesitant, but powered through. “I—I know it’s not exactly the same for you, Aang, with what happened to Kuzon, but if it helps at all—”

“Don’t worry,” Aang said, and he smiled at her as he turned around to jump off the snow-coated railing. “I understand what you mean.” He gave her hand a final squeeze before releasing it. “Thank you, Katara.”

For a moment, all Katara could do was stare. In front of her stood the most powerful bender in the world, able to channel the might of ancient spirits far more powerful than any mere mortal could ever dream to be. This was the man who would end the war and bring peace, harmony, love to the four nations for the first time in a hundred years. But all Katara saw was…

Aang.

Her best friend.

And in his eyes was a silence, an ache, an affection so deep it rivaled—no, it reflected her own.

You get to choose.

Katara met Aang halfway, wrapping her arms around his shoulders while he closed his own around her midsection, embracing each other like it was the last hug they’d ever share. He fit so naturally against her, like a puzzle piece Katara hadn’t known she was missing.

And if Aang inhaled a shuddering breath to hold back tears, and if Katara hugged Aang just a little bit tighter in return, well… that would stay between them and the moon.

[iwajima]

poor little baby. (kuroo tetsurou x f!reader)

KINKTOBER 2020 DAY 1

summary: ever since kuroo saw you talk and get close with his colleague at a dinner event, he’s been teasing and edging you for a week.

warnings: smut, edging, slight!teasing & jealousy

status/word count: unedited / 2.2k

a/n: idk why I made kuroo such a dick, i’m sorry- also i kinda went overboard with this one

Neither of you wanted to go to Kuroo’s company’s dinner event, you both would rather spend time alone with each other. Your expectations for a boring event was rather the opposite, when you found yourself in an interesting and long conversation about art with Kuroo’s colleague. You found commonality through it and found out he too had a hobby of painting.

Kuroo shot daggers towards the man from afar. However, they went unnoticed. Unfortunately, he was stuck with his boss and a couple of other people who were talking about how the women in the company were rather eye-pleasing. Quite unprofessional and disgusting. His jaw clenched when he sees you both laugh. The way you attentively listened and looked at him with big eyes made him regret coming to this place. Had you both stayed home, he probably would be drilling you into the sheets and make you cum over and over for him. The thought of the things he’d do to you sent his blood down to his cock, making him more uncomfortable.

It was his final straw when the man placed a hand onto your shoulder as you both laugh at something that was probably stupid. He marched towards you, ignoring the questioning look and presence of his colleague.

“Kuroo-san! Care to join us? y/n here was talking about her embarrassing high school experiences.” He did it again. He placed his hand on your shoulder when he referred to you. He knew you were his girlfriend, it was like he was taunting him.

“Is that so?” He said in the most bitter voice.

“Tetsurou, are you okay? You seem tense.” You say when he remains silent. His stare at his oblivious colleague was broken when you softly reached for his hand.

“We’re going leaving, sweetie.” He dragged you home without saying any formal goodbyes, which made you worry for him.

Everything went by so fast. First you were in the silent car and now you’re against his apartment wall, cheek pressed on the cold surface with his knee between your thighs. You bit your lip, you knew what was going to happen and what he was going to do to you. Your immediate thought was that he was going to fuck you into oblivion but your jaw dropped at his words.

“Did you enjoy talking to Takuto for an hour, did you enjoy flirting with him hm? Guess what baby, you’re not going to cum anytime soon. How does two weeks sound?” He sneered into your ear, making you shudder at the tone of his voice.

“Tetsuro-”

“Kuroo-san.” He cut you off, brushing your hair off your shoulder to place soft kisses along it.

You let out a breath when he reaches the shell of your ear and leaves a lick. Your legs wanted to give out but tried your best preventing it when he pressed his knee against your core, making your eyes flutter shut.

“K-kuroo-san… Please, I promise I wasn’t flirting. We were just having a friendly conversation.” You tried to calm him down but that only made him even more mad.

He turned you around before tossing you over his shoulder. You yelp, however you didn’t put up much of a fight. When he reaches your shared bedroom, he tosses you onto the bed. He wasted no time in pulling down your bra and dress strap, mouth immediately finding itself onto your sensitive nipple. His rough hand slid from the valley of your breasts to your other shoulder before removing the straps too and fondling with your left tit.

You were so lost from the feeling that you did even notice him snaking his hand down over your panties, finger moving up and down your slit. He smirked at your moans, thinking about how you were going to beg him to touch you again when he leaves you dry and high.

Your nipple was tender after him sucking on it for so long. He moves to your other and giving it the same treatment as his left hand kneads your free boob. You felt like you could cum just from your breasts being stimulated. Over the years, Kuroo has trained your body to be responsive to him whenever he touches you. As a result, certain areas became very sensitive that even a slight graze would make you jump.

“Look at my poor baby, squirming under me, does it really feel that good?” he cooed into your ear, making your eyes roll back. You were so wet, he could feel your panties dampening as time went by.

You nod even though he could barely see you. He pressed his hand to your core,to which your hips automatically grinded against it in hopes to find friction. Kuroo knew you were close because of how your shaky sighs. The wetness began to transfer onto his hand, he wanted nothing more than to indulge in your juices but you needed to be taught a lesson.

He suddenly gets up and walks out the room like nothing had happened. You let out a quiet whimper, seeing his silhouette leave. Your eyes were wide in the pitch black room, the only source of light was the living room light. You mentally cursed yourself, letting yourself fall back down onto your bed. You knew Takuto’s touches were questionable but you were such a laid back person, you thought they just had friendly intent.

The following days felt excruciating. The day after, Kuroo returns home before you. When you entered your apartment, Kuroo was laid back on the couch, book in hand with his legs spread open. Your eyes immediately drink in his semi-naked figure as you think about sinful thoughts. You try to get close to him, in hopes to coax him into fucking you but he brushes you off and teases you about how horny you are. Of course that was his fault.

Attempt two, you wore his favourite lingerie set he had bought you for your birthday. The red lace complemented your skin as it was tightly wrapped around your body. Upon hearing his footsteps get louder, you sink to your knees, catching him by surprise at your position when he opens the door. His eyes widened before returning to their half-lidded state as a smirk formed on his lips. He places his hand on top of your head, stroking your hair before letting them fall onto your cheek. You eagerly pressed your cheek against his palm, enjoying the feeling of his harm hand.

“Welcome home Kuroo-san.” You purred.

He smiles before taking his shoes off and proceeding towards the kitchen. He ignored you. You stare at your front door, motionless in shock. Was he still upset? Your face heats up as you get up from the floor. He casually removes his blazer, before tossing it aside and sitting on the soft cushions. He lets out a moan that you know was on purpose, yet it still managed to make you feel flustered. Instead of being upset, his lack of attention made you angry. You just wanted his touch, and for him to make you feel good like how he always does.

By the time it was your sixth attempt of trying to get him to fuck you, you were exhausted and extremely needy. Each night you’d push yourself against him, trying to feel at least his warmth, but he’d just have his back facing you. You wanted to cry by how frustrated you were, he was being completely unreasonable. You didn’t even touch yourself because you know it wasn’t the same as Kuroo pleasuring you.

“Kuroo-san please… please just fuck me” You whine.

When he doesn’t respond, you turn the other way, deciding to sleep instead, rather than continuously beg for him. You were taken by surprise when he changes your position and spreads your legs. You couldn’t see him, but you know he has a satisfied look on his face as he hovers over you.

“Seeing you needy like this makes me want to fuck you so hard.” He presses his lips against yours, you sighed because this was what you were longing for.

“I’d make you my cumdump but you were being such a bad girl, this is your punishment.” He whispers into your ear.

You bite your lip when he presses his bulge against your core. Your hips automatically grinded itself against his, making him chuckle in amusement by your eagerness. He pushes his sweats off before pulling off your oversized shirt, exposing you to the cool air. You were only in your undergarment, the cold making your skin get goosebumps. However, they soon disappeared when Kuroo encases you in warmth.

The feeling of his hard cock against your thigh made you shudder. You excitedly wrapped your legs around his waist, wanting him to just shove his dick into your pussy, not caring about the lack of prep. His thumb circles your clit, making you moan his name. His forefinger and ring finger spreads your lips as his middle spreads your arousal up and down your slit and occasionally ghosting over your clit. He loved the way that you were desperately holding onto his shoulders.

His name falls from your lips once more when he inserts a finger into your core. The small stretch was enough to make your head go fuzzy. He continues to add two more, coaxing your pussy release more of your juices so he could shove his throbbing cock into your cunt.

His tongue swirls around your nipple, wetting it before sucking and biting onto it. Your voice echoed throughout the apartment, your neighbours above and below could definitely hear you. The sounds were lewd, from the sound of him sucking your tit to him relentlessly fucking his fingers into you.

Euphoria was all that you felt. The feeling grew greater when he replaces his fingers with his cock, pushing the head into your tight hole. You hug him closer when he slowly stretches your poor pussy out. After not being fucked and being intensely horny for a week, you were extremely sensitive. You could feel everything, from every inch of his cock to his vein that was on the side of his length.

He started off with a slow pace, making you want to die. You wanted him to thrust into you hard and fast but you needed to be patient for now. He only just began, but you were already completely fucked out. The feeling of his skin dragging along your insides drove you insane. The stretch was mouth watering, you practically drooled at the thought of your pussy being fucked open.

“You’re being such a good girl for me y/n, taking my fat cock like this.” He whispers.

“Kuroo, please- more!” You whine, digging your heels into his lower back to make him go deeper.

He simply complies, picking up his pace and slamming his hips against yours. The sound of skin slapping only aided you towards your release. He could feel you clench around him, desperately trying to suck in his cock and keep it there. You were so wet that it was starting to run down, soaking the sheets and his thighs.

“Fuck! I’m so close-” You wailed.

“I know baby.” He kisses you deeply, as his thrusts grow more sloppy.

Your moans grow louder and your pussy gets tighter. You were right there, but you were left dumbfounded when he pulled out. He strokes his cock rapidly before shooting his cum onto your pussy, rubbing it all over with his tip, making a mess of you. He lets out a grunt as he reaches the peak of his release, spraying a few more spurts. He leaves a kiss on your cheek before getting up and leaving the room once again.

Tears begin to well up, you’re left on the edge once again. Kuroo returns with a damp cloth. When he turns the lights on and sees you on your side, sobbing. Kuroo immediately rushes to your side, trying to make you face him but you resist.

“Baby, hey-” His face was covered in worry and voice dripping with concern.

“Just leave me alone Tetsurou.” Your broken voice made him regret doing that to you.

He silently places himself behind you, wrapping an arm around your waist, pulling you close before kissing your shoulder. He nuzzles himself into the crook of your neck, spreading your legs apart. He takes the damp towel and cleans his cum off of your pussy and thighs, tossing it away when you’re clean. A finger circles itself around your clit, making you bite your lip because you didn’t want to give him the pleasure of knowing that it felt good.

“I’m so sorry y/n. I was a dick. I should’ve stopped the stupid act sooner, will you forgive me?”

You didn’t respond, instead you spread your legs wider for him, to give him more access to fiddle with your cunt. He smiles and leaves wet kisses on your neck. You were too exhausted to even push him away or stop him, so you let him fuck your cunt with his fingers. He truly did sound sorry, his voice was so worried it made you want to smile and kiss him feverishly.

It wasn’t long until you were clamping down around his digits, letting out the sweetest moans. It was the hardest you ever came before, all due to the week long teasing and edging. When he feels you relax, he removes his fingers before inserting them into his mouth, sucking them clean. It made you blush and sent butterflies in your stomach. He hovers above you, turning you to face him.

You look up at him with sad eyes and pouty lips. He smiles before leaving multiple pecks around your face making you giggle as you try to make him stop.

“Hey, I really am sorry. I was being so fucking unreasonable, I don’t even know why I dragged it on for so long or even did that in the first place. I let my insecurity get the best of me, you know I love you right?” He lowers himself and lays on top of you, transferring his heat to your body.

“Yes, Tetsurou. Please don’t tease me for that long ever again or I'm going to leave you.” He immediately raises his head to look at you with a scared expression. You laugh, running your hands through his hair.

“You’re not being serious right...?” He asks.

“Of course not, idiot. Now go turn off the light, I'm tired.”

[justa-starrynite]

Lake (Angel Reyes)

A/N: Hello everyone! It’s Bea! I’m kicking off our Fall prompts with a lovely cabin getaway with Angel. Hope you all like this first installment! You are all amazing! I also decided to combine a request I received months ago. 

(I know, I suck, I’m really trying to get through the requests, I promise)

Anyways, enjoy this cabin getaway with Angel!

154 “there’s only one bed” 184 “can I touch you?” 186 “no strings attached”

Request by anon

Warnings: Smut, a smidge of angst and fluff

CREDITS TO THE ORIGINAL GIF CREATOR!

You looked over at Angel who was driving your car up the mountain headed to Big Bear. Your best friend, Amaya, was Coco’s girlfriend and she insisted that for her birthday, the club should rent a cabin at Big Bear and spend it together. Especially with all the craziness the year has brought, they all needed a break from Santo Padre.

You and Angel were friends who had palpable sexual tension between you two.

You two flirt all the time and there was no mistaking that you two were attracted to one another. But you two chose to remain friends since there was no reason to ruin such a good thing. If you two never crossed the line, you never had to worry about ruining your friendship.

Though watching the other be entertained by another person was no fun whatsoever.

You knew it was only a matter of time before the tension would break. In the last few months, you and Angel have been playing the one up game, seeing who would break first. During the last club party, Angel almost broke, but he decided to walk away, which surprised every one.

For a moment, you thought that this thing between you two would fade especially when he met the charamstic rebel leader Adelita, but Angel seemed to always drift back to you. A line was never crossed, but with each day that passed you found yourself falling for the eldest Reyes no matter how hard you tried to fight it.

You’ve been the best of friends since you came to Santo Padre at twenty-two years old, getting ready to embark on your new journey for nursing school.

You two met through Coco, who was your brother’s friend from the army. From there, you and Angel truly hit it off and quickly became friends.

Your attraction was always there, you two just never made a move to go further.

Since your arrival, you’ve been Angel’s constant and he was afraid to fuck it up.

But this last year, it’s been hard to ignore how he felt about you.

Especially since you let your Roger in your life.

Angel despised the guy, but for some fucking reason, everyone thought he was a cool dude.

He was lame.

He was an asshole.

He was an egotistical prick.

And if everyone’s words were true, he was just like Angel.

Which was more of a reason why he fucking hated him.

And he had you.

You two were the last ones up the mountain since you had a late shift and Angel insisted on waiting for you. Thankfully, you wouldn’t miss sunset and that’s all you cared about. The California Fall weather was always a mix of scalding hot and freezing weather, or freezing by California standards. But in Big Bear, there were seasons and it was the definition of fall weather.

“Thanks for waiting for me.” You were asleep most of the four hour trip since you worked the night shift and all you wanted to do was sleep. Angel didn’t mind since he saw how tired you were. He loved watching you sleep since it was one of the times you were without worry and looked at peace.

“Of course, I wouldn’t have gone otherwise.” Angel smirked. “Had to make sure you didn’t bail since you’ve been doing that more often lately.”

You heard that bitterness in his voice, something you’ve grown accustomed to as of late. You didn’t mean to bail on Angel, it just happened, especially since Roger would message you and you would flake on plans you already made.

You were never that person, but you and Amaya had talked. The only way you could fully let go of your feelings for Angel was either fuck him to get it out of your system or focus your attention elsewhere so you could keep the friendship.

Fucking him was out of the options, so focusing your attention won.

Though you realized that it was causing a strain between you and Angel that you never wanted to have.

“I’m sorry,” you frowned. “I don’t mean to bail on you.”

“I’m more a man of action, your apologies don’t mean anything if you keep doing it over and over again.”

“Angel, I told you, I bail on you cause of work, he just happens to be there.” Which was true, you bailed on him mostly when it was connected to work. You both worked in the hospital. Roger was a respiratory technician, while you were a nurse. You two worked side by side. And maybe the few times you did bail on Angel, you went to sleep with Roger, but you had needs and Angel frustrated you.

Sometimes masturbating didn’t get the job done.

“Right, so the one time I caught you two at your apartment you were working?” Angel gripped the steering wheel with his right hand while his left hand were hanging out of the window.

“Listen, I thought I had to come in but I looked at the schedule wrong. I already told you that.”

“So why were you with him? We had plans to celebrate that night.” It was the time Angel got his secretary patch a few months ago. You two had planned on cooking dinner and having a movie marathon, but you bailed last minute.

But you did come back to the clubhouse that night, and you saw that girl who was patching his patch in a few nights ago situated on his lap. Choosing not to stay around for that, you called Roger who brought you some food.

Unbeknownst to you, Coco had seen you, who had to tell his hermano that you saw him fuck up. Angel went to your place and found you and Roger meeting outside of your door. And the silent treatment was handed to you for two weeks before Angel broke since it was your birthday and he wasn’t going to let Roger get under your skin.

You didn’t know why Angel came that night knowing you’re supposed to be at the hospital, but you never told him that you were sent home since they didn’t need you that night.

To top it off, like how you and Angel always dealt with anything that involved your feeling, you swept in under the rug.

“I came back that night since they told me they didn’t need me. I saw you were already occupied by the blonde so I chose not to bother you.”

Angel scoffed. “Yeah, I fucking know, why’d you think I came to your place?”

“It’s fine, I get it, El Secretario needed to get his dick wet.” You smirked, but you weren’t exactly amused. You hated that blonde. After she sewed on Angel’s patch she thought she was Angel’s girl or some shit.

“You jealous baby? You know I wouldn’t mind if you wet my dick.”

“Fuck you Angel.”

“That’s the fucking idea.”

Now, you hated being alone in the car with him. But you figured this was a conversation you two were bound to have.

You were in a conundrum. You welcomed Roger’s distraction, but not at the expense of losing your friendship with Angel.

Maybe you should just fuck him, just to get it out of your system.

Years of sexual tension building and it was overflowing now.

Amaya was always in favor of you just fucking Angel.

And if what she had planned worked this weekend, it would change your relationship.

You two arrived at the cabin and were assigned the only room on the first floor that had a queen sized bed. Amaya excused that you two were the last ones up and they saved the bed for you two. You narrowed your eyes at your best friend and she merely smiled innocently.

“You did this on purpose.” You accused her as you opened your luggage.

“Me? Absolutely not. It was the only room left, there’s four bedrooms upstairs and a loft. You’re lucky you two have your own room.” Amaya smirked. “And if something happens, so be it.”

“I thought you liked Roger.”

“I sure do, but not for you. You obviously have to get Angel out of your system first. Roger deserves more than to be some rebound.”

“He’s not a rebound, if he’s a rebound it would constitute that Angel and I were dating, but we never were.” You took out a hoodie and slipped it on.

The plan was to have a barbecue and sit around the bonfire afterwards. You were excited for this.

Fall was your favorite season.

With dinner done, you all sat around the fire, exchanging funny stories and happenings over the past few years. You were sitting in between Riz and Gilly, Angel across from you. After your discussion earlier, Angel hasn’t said much to you. He made you a plate for dinner, but otherwise he didn’t say much to you.

You knew you would wave the white flag soon, but you didn’t do anything wrong. You wanted to give Roger a chance. Crossing the line wasn’t an option as far as you know and the last thing you wanted to do was change things between you two.

Angel was the only family you had besides your brother. The last thing you wanted to do was lose him.

You listened to Creeper as he animatedly spoke about some customer that was weirder that was hitting on Chucky. Chucky was seated beside him, laughing as he recalled the story.

Your eyes met Angel’s over the fire and he drank his beer, holding your gaze.

He smirked when Taza placed his hand on his arm, laughing at Creeper’s story. He had this black beanie with a black hoodie to match, grey sweatpants on his lower half. You had to refrain yourself from continuously checking him out since Angel’s dick was basically imprinted on that sinful pair of sweats. He’s worn it a handful of times around you and each time, your resolve was thinning out.

You watched as Angel threw his head back laughing at whatever Creeper was saying, his muscles flexing under the black sweatshirt. Angel has been working out as of late and he was looking damn good. Whenever you would watch him workout, since you joined him from time to time, all you could think of was how amazing would it feel to have Angel’s arms wrapped around you.

Especially with this chilly weather, his warmth would be welcomed.

Gilly watched as your eyes stayed on Angel, chuckling at your unbashful resolve at just keeping your eyes on him.

“You have plenty of pictures of Angel, just look at that so it’s less obvious.” Gilly teased you.

You narrowed your eyes at him, hitting his arm. “You’re an idiot.”

“Maybe, but not like you and that prick over there.” He nodded his head at Angel. “How many more years are you two going to dance around one another?”

“Gilly, we’re not dancing. Angel and I are just friends.”

“Right, that’s why he dislikes Roger so much.”

“Angel is allowed to not like people that has no correlation to my relationship with them.”

“But there is no reason for him to dislike Roger besides the fact he’s dating you.”

“I’m not dating Roger.”

“So what are you and Roger?” Riz interjected in the conversation, which brought everyone’s attention to you.

You looked around, not wanting to meet Angel’s gaze. “He’s just my co-worker, who I enjoy going out with.”

“We’re fucking adults sweetheart, you don’t need to spare our feelings.” Bishop looked over at Angel, a smirk spreading across El Jefe’s face as he watched Angel frown, shaking his head.

“Alright, he’s my fuck buddy, everyone has needs.” You took a swig of your Smirnoff Ice. “Besides, I don’t have time for a relationship.”

“Hmm, for someone you don’t plan on keeping around, you sure put some importance on him since you’ve been flaking on us lately.” Great, the conversation in the car was obviously not forgotten.

“I don’t know if you’re aware, but my world doesn’t revolve around you Ignacio.”

“From what you’re telling us, it doesn’t revolve around that prick either. So why don’t you just drop him and stop wasting your time.”

“Again, it’s nice to have a warm body next to you at night from time to time, you should know, how’s that new girl at Vicki’s?” The new girl was a battle between you and Angel. Everyone just watched as you two hatched it out, months of annoyance and frustration that was waiting to be unleashed has finally come to a head.

“She’s alright, but you know she fails in comparison to you.” He winked at you, earning ‘ooh’s’ from you two’s unconventional family.

“Wish I can say the same about Roger.” The ‘ooh’s’ was louder this time as Angel’s look darkened.

You two were sharing a bed and it seemed that Angel has finally reached his breaking point.

After a few more drinks, you decided to go by the lake shore since the cabin Amaya rented was by the lake. It was beautiful out and without the bustling city lights, the stars shined brighter along with the moon. Shoving your hands in the one pocket of your hoodie, you looked up, enjoying the crisp air. You heard footsteps behind you and hope it was anyone but Angel. The way he looked at you for the rest the night, it was almost predatory.

Your comment about Roger not failing in comparison to him seemed to push Angel over the edge. You took your camera out, taking pictures of the moon and stars’ reflection on the calm lake waters.

You felt arms wrapped from behind you and you knew it was Angel.

No one else would touch you within the Mayans.

Not even Coco, at least not this intimate.

“You look beautiful.” He whispered into your ear, the goosebumps that ran through your body was indescribable. Angel’s voice always did things to you, and feeling his arms wrapped around you, his smell invading your space, this was going to be a long night.

You were determined to not cross that line with Angel.

Incredibly determined.

“So do you, Ignacio.” You smirked.

“There’s only one bed.” Angel didn’t bring his stuff in till after you. As soon as you two arrived he grabbed a beer and went outside to join Coco and Gilly.

“I’m well aware. It’s big enough for the both of us, not the first time we shared a bed.” You tried to play it cool, you had to.

“Yeah? It’s not big enough for you to run away baby girl.” Angel teased.

“Why would I need to run?” You turned towards Angel, moving away from his warmth which you immediately missed.

Angel was smirking and all you wanted to do was wipe it off his face. “Don’t play stupid Y/N, this shit between us? It’s been present for years. Time for us to stop worrying about what it would do to our friendship and start thinking about what it would do if we don’t address it soon.” Angel was done playing this tip toe bullshit between you two. He wanted you and he knew you wanted him. “You’re a smart girl, you know I’ve wanted you for years and I know you want me to. Let’s stop the games, fuck Ralph, fuck that blonde, I want you. One night with me and you won’t even think of another pendejo again, you’d be begging for my dick.”

“You’re a little too confident in yourself.” You knew you wanted to cross that line, but you couldn’t lose Angel if this didn’t work out. “I can’t lose you Angel, things will change and I don’t think I can handle that.” You confessed.

Angel stepped closer to you, pulling you against him. He cupped your face, softly stroking your cheek between moving his thumb across your lower lips. “You wouldn’t lose me. No strings attached, no pressure. I’ve always wondered how good you tasted.” His lips hovered over yours.

You looked up at him then to his lips. You’ve always wondered how Angel’s lips felt against yours. Whenever he bit his lips, it drove you fucking crazy.

He bit his lip, making you groan and close the distance between you two. You wrapped your arms around Angel’s neck, pulling him closer. Angel slipped his tongue in your mouth when you let out a moan when he grabbed your breast.

Before he could go any further, you pulled away, shaking your head.

“Sorry, I can’t, you mean far too much to me for me to ruin our friendship.”

You walked away from Angel and you couldn’t ignore how your heart rate picked up, and how good his lips felt against yours. Angel watched you, still confident that you would be his by the end of the night.

You two were adults, he’s played this game for years and had the same worries as you. But he knew that once you two were together, that was it for him and he was confident on keeping you by his side for the rest of his life.

You stayed up till two in the morning with Amaya, hoping by the time you go to your room, Angel would be asleep. You ended up falling asleep on the couch, the cough was far too comfy along with the warmth of the fireplace. You were only in your shorts and shirt since you couldn’t exactly sleep with sweats, it wasn’t that cold. When you woke up around four in the morning to use the bathroom, which your room conveniently had, you realized you were in your room. Angel was laying on his side of the bed.

When you did your business and brushed your teeth, you slid back under the covers, however you were more cautious now.

Things shifted between you two after that kiss and you weren’t sure where to place yourself. Cuddling was never an issue and you wouldn’t mind being wrapped in his arms, but again, things were different. That kiss was far too good and your desire for Angel grew tenfold.

This desire you wouldn’t be appeased by having sex, nope, you knew it wouldn’t.

It would make it worse.

It would have you longing for Angel.

You couldn’t stand by while he fucked around with other women.

It was better for you two to not cross the line.

Angel’s warm hand slipping under your shirt broke you from your thoughts.

“I know you felt it too.” You heard Angel say, his warm breath tickling your skin. “You can’t ignore the fact your lips perfectly fit into mine, how good it made you feel. Bet it made you fucking wet cause it made me hard as fuck baby. Even without that kiss, every time I lay my eyes on you, my pants fucking tighten cause all I can think about how good you would look under me.”

You rubbed your thighs together, his voice was already sinful, but pair that with his dirty mouth, fucking forget about it.

Whatever your stance was, it was changing, especially with how good his ringed fingers felt running your stomach, teasing the skin beneath your breast. He nipped at your ear, placing a kiss just right about it.

“I want to hear you moan my name while I stretch that tight little pussy with my dick.” You moaned, Angel’s fingers drifted down to the top of your shorts, teasing, tempting your resolve. “Can I touch you mi dulce?”

You wanted to say no, you almost fucking did, but when you turned your head to face Angel’s, seeing how beautiful he looked under the moonlight that came from the slits of the window blinds. How much he looked at you with such adoration, who gave a fuck about the line?

“Yes,” you breathed out.

Angel slid his hand inside your shorts, your legs widening immediately. You anticipated his touch, looking down at his hand. His finger ran up and down your slit, you bit back a moan.

“Fuck baby, you’re wet.” He rubbed your clit with his fingers, causing you to bite your lip. “Let me hear you, I want to know how good I’m making you feel.”

Your hand grabbed his shirt, clutching it was Angel slipped a finger inside of you. You threw your head back, Angel slipped a second finger in. He watched you with wonder in his eyes, elated that he could finally see you in this scenario. You felt yourself get wetter as Angel moved his fingers in and out of you. He turned your head with his other hand, and he kissed you. Your hips moved to meet his fingers. Pulling away slightly, your lips were close to one another, Angel smirking as he felt your walls clench his fingers.

“You close querida?”

“Angel, fuck,” you groaned as he removed his fingers. He moved the blankets so he could kneel in front of you. He took off your shorts and panties, sucking in the fingers that were inside you.

“I knew you would fucking taste amazing baby.” Angel parted your lips which you had closed, hoping the friction could help you get your high. “Look at this pussy, I’ve been fucking dreaming of this moment.” He leaned down, parting your lips with his fingers. He groaned before he began to lap at your pussy, causing your back to arch. Angel ate you like a starved man who hadn’t eaten for years. He flicked his tongue at your clit, his two fingers entering you again. “You’re already clenching me baby, you ready to cum.”

You’ve been ready to cum.

“Yes, Angel, keep going.” You pleaded as you could feel that familiar feeling at the pit of your stomach.

You came, Angel’s fingers and mouth never ceasing, and another orgasm followed close behind. Angel kneeled once again, watching as your legs shook at the aftermath of your orgasm. You took a deep breath, looking at Angel who was still clothed.

He took off his shirts, sweats and boxers. He spat on his hand, stroking his cock. You looked down at him and groaned at seeing Angel’s size.

“Of course you would be fucking big.” You always wondered about Angel's size and with the way the girls at the clubhouse boasted about him, how good he was, you weren’t even surprised.

Angel just chuckled, rubbing the head of his cock on your wet pussy. You groaned, biting your lip, trying not to be loud since you did come with the club.

“Naw, fuck that, you’re gonna be screaming my name so those mother fuckers know who you belong to.” Angel tapped his cock against your clit, making you moan out his name. He slowly slid in you, watching as his length disappeared inside of you. That stretch made you whimper, it was slightly uncomfortable due to Angel’s size. You’ve never been with anyone this well endowed, but you weren’t going to tell this egotistical prick that. “You okay? Too big for you?”

You couldn’t even respond, you just whimpered and nodded your head.

“Which one baby? You doing okay? Or am I too big for you?” He remained stationary, waiting for some confirmation. He wanted to move, your walls were clenching him and he knew he wasn’t going to last long. But that was fine, this wouldn’t be the last time.

“Angel, just please move.” You groaned. “Fuck, you’re so fucking big.”

Angel chuckled. “Ronnie isn’t big, baby? Ima tear this pussy up.” Angel was petty as fuck and would get his name wrong on purpose. Any guy you were involved with was called dick, prick or some version of their name. “You ain’t never gonna want another dick besides mine.”

You hated how much Angel was turning you on with all the talk he was doing. You’ve had one guy who was like this, but it didn’t feel like this. Also may contribute to the fact that Angel is fucking thick.

“You’re almost as big as Roger.” You knew you were being a brat, but fuck it, this was most likely a one off and you wouldn’t mind the rough sex with Angel. You wanted his hands everywhere, his marks and everything.

“Almost as big?” Angel was offended. “That’s not what your reaction tells me baby. You wanna talk shit?” He pulled out till it was only his tip that was inside before slamming back in, moving you forward. You whimpered, letting out a ‘fuck’ like a mantra as he continually pounded into you, his pace unrelenting and unforgiving. You wanted to be a brat and talk shit? Then you could take his dick like the brat that you were. “When I’m done with you, you’re going to be begging for my dick.”

And you knew he was right.

He slowed down when he felt your walls tightening up. If you wanted to be a brat, he could edge you all night.

“Angel,” you whined out his name, annoyed that he would slow down.

“What’s wrong mi dulce? You want to talk shit? Better be able to take it.” Angel increased his pace again, your walls tightening again, but he slowed down, stilling completely. “I’ve always wondered how well you would take my dick, how fucking tight you are.” He whispered into your ears, peppering you with kisses. His voice, the lower timbre that it went to, you were going insane. “You feel perfect hermosa.”

“Then are you gonna fuck me good or you’re just gonna keep teasing me?”

Angel chuckled. “You better not try and run away.” He pushed your legs back against your chest, pulling out.

He rubbed your clit, keeping your legs wide opened for him. You felt that familiar feeling at the pit of your stomach, you came, crying out in pleasure as Angel sucked your clit into his mouth. You moved away, closing your legs making Angel laugh. Your arousal was evident on his beard, he licked his lips.

He took a hold of your ankle, pulling you back towards him.

“What’s wrong baby girl? Too much for you? What I say? Not to run away right?” He was so smug. You wanted to deflate his ego, but you’ve been testing him too much.

“You’re just fucking big, this is crazy.” You let out a small laugh. He slipped inside you again, appreciating your words. “Fuck daddy, you’re stretching out my pussy again.” You’re not even sure where that came from, but you could tell Angel was a fan.

“Yeah, you like how daddy stretches his pussy baby. You ain’t never seeing Reno again, this pussy is mine, isn’t it baby girl?” Angel pounded into you, wetting his fingers as he rubbed your clit.

You gripped the sheets, meeting his hips. Angel continually praised you, his fingers unrelenting as it circled your clit. You came, eyes rolling to the back of your head, shuddering beneath Angel. This had to be the best fucking orgasm you’ve ever had and Angel had yet to come. He watched you, a moaning, panting mess as you came down from your high.

He was screwed since he would never tire of that sight. He wanted to see it over and over again. His dick was throbbing within you as your walls continued to clench around him.

“Fuck, you haven’t even cum yet.” You commented once you caught your breath.

Angel laughed. “Why is Rufus a minute man?”

“I’ve never fucked Roger.” Your admission makes the laughter emitting from Angel’s lips cease.

“What?”

“I’ve never fucked Roger. I mean, we went on like a date, but I’ve never fucked him.” You admitted, his stare was far too intimate for you.

“You interested in Riley?” It always amazed you how Angel could think of endless names for Roger and never repeat a name.

“No,” you bit your lower lip, moving away from Angel, sighing when his length slid out of you. Looking at his dick, you saw your wetness coating him.

“Wanna taste yourself?”

You turned around, getting on your knees instead. “Another time. Please put your dick back in me daddy.” You moved your ass, your chest on the mattress, exposing you to Angel.

“You’re such a good girl, even though you were acting like a fucking brat earlier.” He smacked your ass, causing you to yelp. He did it again, a moan eliciting from your lips. “Damn baby, you like being spanked.”

“Just by you.” And you didn’t usually enjoy it, but this felt different with Angel and you welcomed it. “Daddy please,” you begged.

Angel bent down, his body over yours as he whispered into your ear. “I told you, you’d be begging for my dick.” He entered you with no warning, you moaned into the mattress, gripping the sheets. Angel’s hands laid above yours, intertwining it so you both were gripping the sheets.

“You’re deeper this way.” You were going crazy. The sound of his skin slapping against yours, you were gone. “Faster daddy, please.”

“Naw baby, you were talking too much shit earlier, you’re gonna take what I give you.” He slightly increased his pace. “Whose pussy is this?”

“Yours daddy.”

“That’s right, it’s all mine, ain’t no other motherfucker is ever going to have this tight little pussy.” His hand squeezed yours. “Fuck, I’m close.” He stood straight, his thrust was quicker and you definitely appreciated it. You felt your climax coming again, impressed by how Angel knew how to make your body sing.

After a few more thrust, Angel came, grunting your name out. You came right after him, his name coming out as a cry of absolute pleasure from your lips. Angel pulled out, his cum coming out of your pussy, but he pushed it back inside. You moaned, as his fingers entered you, your walls were still pulsating from the aftershock of another orgasm.

“Daddy’s gonna keep you cumming this weekend preciosa.”

You and Angel cleaned up, throwing the blanket to the floor and replacing it with a blanket you had brought with you. Angel pulled you in his arms, playing with the strings of your shorts.

“No strings attached?” You broke the silence between you two.

“Whatever you want baby.” Angel knew that you were his and nothing would change that. You gave yourself to him and that was that.

But you knew no strings attached wouldn’t last, Angel didn’t think so either.

As far as you were both concerned, it was only you two in this relationship, even though you just haven’t verbalized that.

======================= 

tagged list:

@buttercup812 : @-im-fantastic-​  : @mayans-sauce​

[aweecrush]

As soon as she opens the glass door, the October chill immediately comes to tickle her face. She sighs in delight - feck, it's hot in that apartment. Between the room full of people dancing, the various groups scattered all around the place, the smoking and the booze, it's like a damn volcano in there.

The balcony is not actually what you could call small, but even so, she can hear the drunken advice of Orla’s roommate clearly from the other side of it. She doesn’t know the friend she’s talking to, but the sight of the both of them half shouting how great the other is while trying - and failing - not to spill all their wine is as sweet as it is funny. Ah, the outbursts of love of the shitfaced.

A smile on her face, Erin turns towards the other side of the space where, as predicted, she spots the special someone she loves, shitfaced or not.

Her heart immediately drops at the sight of him.

Leaving her glass on the first table she finds, she makes her way towards his dark figure leaning over edge as he gazes at the city. She can’t see his face yet, but his hunched shoulders are indication enough. Not that she needs any, really.

When she wraps her arms around him from behind, James straightens up to make it easier for her. She holds him as close as she can and rests her cheek against his back, breathes him in. He takes one of her hands and kisses it, then laces their fingers together and places them back on his stomach.

There’s the muffled music and the laughs coming from the inside, the shouts from the girls not far. The sounds of the city night life beneath them.

“I’ve missed you tonight,” he says after a while. They’ve barely seen each other since they arrived.

Erin holds him even tighter. “I’ve missed you too.”

But both his hands are covering hers, one of his thumbs drawing slow patterns on her skin, and he’s warm, and he smells good, so good. It’s all perfect now.

“You drunk?” She can hear the smile in his voice. She turns her head just enough to bury her nose between his shoulder blades, a giggle that betrays her current state escaping her lips.

“Yep,” and she feels his chuckle against her chest. “Clare’s much worse though. She’s currently alternating between telling our non-France going story to that French girl and burping in a very horrific and worrying way, so it’s safe to say there's a disaster looming.” James snorts. “You?”

“Not really, no. Although Nick’s waiting for me with a shot competition when I go back inside, so that should change really soon.”

Thanks to her heels, she can drop a couple of kisses on his cheek without having to raise on her tiptoes, a smirk on her lips.

“As much as I love you, and that’s quite a lot to be honest, you do know that there’s no way you’re winning said competition, right?”

He nods, faking seriousness. “Oh yeah. I mean, he’s like a magician or something.”

“Unbeatable.”

“Uh uh. He and Michelle really did find each other, didn’t they - he’s probably the only person I know who can actually drink more than her. I mean, the Halloween party...”

“Clare’s birthday.”

“That Christmas break party.”

“That was impressive.” She feels sick just remembering the amount of vodka involved.

She lets their laughs slowly die down before nuzzling him, dropping a wee kiss behind his ear, another just a bit lower.

She figures now is as good a time as any, isn’t it. “I heard you and Michelle talk in the kitchen earlier.”

The moment the words leave her mouth, she feels him tense against her. Of course he does.

She trails kisses down his neck as an apology for approaching a subject she knows he doesn’t want to. As an encouragement. She buries her face there, waits for a bit. Then, mumbles softly against his skin, “You know she didn’t mean what she said.”

“You know she did.”

Well. He’s not exactly wrong on that one - they both know it.

“She’s just angry, that’s all. You know how she gets.”

She lets one of her hands leave his, and travel on his forearm lazily. Soothingly, she hopes. “She’s just very protective of you. But she shouldn’t have said that.”

“Yeah, well.”

He does that, when he’s upset. Shuts down, coming up with only short answers to let you know that he’d rather not continue this conversation - short, but answers all the same, because he wouldn’t go as far as shutting you out completely. That he'd consider mean, hurtful, and James doesn’t hurt people - he never would.

That’s why it sucks even more to have to watch when people hurt him.

She wants to tell him that Michelle will come back to her senses in the morning, that she’ll regret her harsh words and apologize for them, sincerely. That she’ll hit him in the shoulder for good measure, and that it will be that, over in a second. Because well - it will, really. There’s no doubt about that.

But the thing is, he already knows all that. The thing is, Michelle’s usual lack of delicacy and moderation isn’t the problem here, far from it. She wishes that it was. Much easier to deal with, wouldn’t it.

Pressing her whole body against his, Erin brushes her lips on the back of his neck, and lets the hair at his nape tickle her nose as she lingers there a little.

“I’m sorry your mum isn’t coming to the wedding, baby.”

“It’s fine.”

An answer too fast, too rehearsed to be sincere. Not that she would have believed it had he been more convincing.

She rests her chin on his shoulder, brings her hand back over his own. “No, it’s not - not at all.”

He snorts. “Of course it is, Erin. It makes sense, really: I mean, who wouldn’t choose a vacation that may or may not happen with a guy they’ve known for five minutes over the most important day of their son’s life?”

The irony in his voice does nothing to cover the bitterness underneath it. The pain.

Feck, she hates this.

After a few seconds, he huffs. “Whatever - I don’t care.”

Ever since the day he had changed his mind about going to London all those years ago, since that moment he’d decided to stay in Derry and she’d been able to breathe properly again, James had started to see things more clearly when it came to Cathy. He’d told her so - told her what Michelle had said to convince him not to go with her, told her how it felt to finally understand how right she was. That day, and after.

In the days, the weeks that had followed, it had stayed with him, turned again and again in his head. How she’d only take care of him when there was nothing more distracting to do when he was a kid. How his stepdad Paul had been the one raising him, playing with him. Caring.

The reasons - excuses - he had made to explain her leaving him in Derry without so much as a goodbye had started to fall apart one by one, leaving what she did only for what it was: an abandonment. She’d abandoned him, plain and simple.

And it had hurt, really hurt, but yet, he hadn’t blamed her - never would. Again, he was just far too good for that. She was still his mum, and he still loved her.

So he hadn’t said anything when she called to say she wouldn’t be able to take him the Christmas, then the summer after her visit. He never complained that she actually never visited him again in Derry after that. Michelle would fume everytime he called her, hating that he was always the one doing the effort (but she never said anything to him, only to them girls - none of them would ever say anything, because none of them wanted to make him sadder than he already was).

Things never changed. Not when he finished high school, not when he finished Uni. To this day, she hadn’t really congratulated him on his first nor his second job, least of all learnt what it was. And again, James never complained, because again, he loved her, and he could never really resent her. He’d lowered his expectations more and more over the years, learnt to be disappointed each time anyway. But he never said anything.

It affected him, though. She knew, she was there to see it. They all were. Ma Mary won’t even let the name of ‘that heartless woman’ be uttered in her house, even though she always makes sure never to show or say anything in front of James.

He cared - still does, always will. How couldn’t he?

Desperate for something, anything to make him feel even a tiny bit better, Erin leaves a hundredth kiss against his skin, painfully aware that that won’t be enough.

“You do care. Hey - ” She grabs his hips to turn him in so she can face him when he snorts, and he obliges. She waits until he’s looking at her to speak again. “Of course you do.”

Anyone would be affected by something like this, but him? He’s so sweet, her English, so sensible, and he wears his heart on his sleeve, and she hates how even in the darkness of the night, she can see just how much he does care. Just how heavy his heart is right now.

It was palpable, evident ever since Kathy had called this morning to tell him, but now, as he slowly let his defenses down, sadness and defeat taking over with each second, it’s written all over his beautiful face, and it just breaks her fecking heart.

“I should have expected it, right?”

He chuckles, not an ounce of humor in it. “I mean, missing birthdays - including my 25 and 30, not showing up at graduation, not visiting our flat even once, not this one, not the one before that...That was the next logical step - nothing to be surprised about.”

He shakes his head, and as he looks away, the lights of the balcony reflect on the watery green of his eyes.

His voice is so small when he speaks again, she barely hears it. “I don’t know why I thought it’d be different this time.”

Erin runs her hands up and down his back, hating herself for not being able to do more, to take the pain away from him, just like that.

“Because it should have been," is all she finds to say.

Aye, of course it should have been - just this once, for Christ's sake.

“It’s just...How little do you have to care about your own child to do that, you know. Over and over. Even now - even for this. I told her, once - I told her what you mean to me. I guess I just thought...I guess I thought that it was something every parent wanted to see for their kid, and that for once, that would include her, too.”

He finally looks back at her at that, and suddenly, she sees the fifteen year-old sitting next to her in Sister Michael’s office the day they met again, the heartbreak clear in his eyes as he understands that his mum left him.

She fecking hates all of it.

Helpless, Erin brings their foreheads together, her arms firmly wrapped around his torso as he lets out a heavy sigh.

“She does care, James.”

“You don't have to lie.”

“I’m not - of course she does. And she loves you. She's just- "

“Selfish? Self centered? I’m running out of the polite words used by Michelle now, the others were much more colourful,” and Erin backs away slightly, smiling at him knowingly.

“In her own world, let’s say. I don’t think she realizes just how much damage she does. And I’m not going to try to make excuses for her, for this or for everything else - it is shitty, and she’s an adult and she should realize what she’s doing and do better. I’m just saying...She doesn’t. But that doesn’t mean that she doesn’t love you, because she does.”

He looks away again at that, and it’s a punch to the stomach to realize that yeah - the thought did cross his mind. It really did.

Slipping her hands from his back, she brings them to his cheeks, gently making him look at her again, hating the sadness she finds in his eyes.

She smiles. “She does love you. And it sucks so bad that she doesn’t show it to you, because she should, and she should realize just how lucky she is to have you, for feck sake, but...But please don’t forget that you do have a family who makes you their number one priority, and who always will. I mean, I think that was a smile I saw on your Aunt Deirdre’s face when we told her - an actual smile!”, and she’s proud of herself when he chuckles at that, a true smile of his own lightening his face.

“And we all know that Michelle punching you harder than usual that day was her stupid way to cover the tears I definitely saw in her eyes - even though true, there were nothing compared to the way Paul just - well, broke down, really.”

He smirks. “Even Clare didn’t weep this much.”

“Which really, is saying something. Also, my family loves you more than they love me, Ma, Anna and Orla don’t even bother to pretend otherwise at this point, and I think at least one of us should take pleasure in that.” He’s laughing now, and yeah, this - this is how she wants him to be for the rest of their lives. Laughing, his squinting eyes shining - that’s what he deserves.

Biting down her own smile, Erin draps her arms around his neck, bringing him close. “And for what it’s worth, you also have me. You’re my person, remember? My favorite one in the whole world. I’m here - I’ll always be here.”

Always.

“Also, it will still be the best party ever, because I didn’t want to say anything, but I’ve prepared a massive, massive surprise, and - ”

But then his lips are on hers, and Erin just holds him closer, fingers tangled in his brown curls, and kisses him back.

Aye - more than fifteen years she's known him, and that boy still manages to leave her light headed. It vaguely occurs to her that maybe she should be worried about that.

“Thank you,” he says when they eventually part, still so close that she feels his words on her lips. She smirks.

“For what, the surprise? Because to be honest, I haven't actually figured out what it would be just yet: I just know it will be so grand, you'll - ”

She’s not exactly surprised when James kisses her again to shut her up - she definitely doesn’t mind, either. She can feel his chuckle against her as he pecks her once, twice, then moves to her cheek, her jaw, and her heart swells in her chest.

“For everything," he smiles, looking back at her and pinching her side playfully. "For not piling up on Michelle's heartfelt opinions about my mum, tonight or ever, even though I know that you hate her too."

She frowns. "Hey, I don’t hate her.” There’s no accusation in his tone or in his eyes, but she needs him to know. “I swear, I’ve never hated her. I just hate the situation, and you being sad.” She lets her fingers run on the back of his neck, lets her eyes travel over that handsome face of his. “I mean, we have her to thank for you, haven't we? How could I hate her, silly."

He’s looking at her that way now, that way that’s far too soft, too - something, and that always makes her cheeks redden. Tonight is no exception.

She’s not exactly sure how long they stay out there, kissing like they’re teenagers at a party again. She does hears herself moan in disapproval when he eventually leans back, and he nuzzles her to make amend, amused.

“Come on, let’s go back inside - you’re going to catch a cold out here.”

To be fair, she is freezing her arse off. But -

“You sure you’re okay?”

He’s got that wee soft smile of his on his face now, and, before she can say anything else, James brings his warm hands on her neck and puts an even softer last kiss on the corner of her lips.

“Of course I’m okay - I’m marrying you.”

Truth is, she’s pretty sure she looks like an eejit, beaming and blushing like she is. Again, she can’t bring herself to mind.

Lacing their fingers together, Erin leads the way back inside. “Come on, then - let’s get shitfaced, my love.”

[silverlightqueen]

Blood Lust

silverlightqueen’s SKZ Scarefest

vampire!hyunjin x human!reader - smutty smut smut lmao, fluff, a little bit of angst ig, fwb type vibe except the benefits include Hyunjin feeding on y/n lol

Word Count: 10.4k+ (I got carried away, I’m sorry lmao)

Summary - Having a part time job whilst at university is standard, right? Babysitting, bartending, retail, hospitality? Well, y/n’s job is a little… different. Or maybe a lot different. Depends on whether you find being a hot vampire’s personal blood bag weird or not.

Warnings: biting, blood, blood consumption, unrequited love, possessiveness, toxicity in a not-relationship, unprotected sex, intercourse, rough sex and softish sex, softdom!hyunjin x sub!reader, very brief sub!hyunjin, very explicit dirty talk, asphyxiation, slight body worship, fingering, oral sex (m and f receiving), hair pulling, teasing, mouth fucking, begging, praise, hickeys, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, creampie, lots of soft aftercare, sexual and non-sexual nudity, I think that’s it but please let me know if you notice that I missed something!

a/n: and here is the fourth (and my favourite) instalment of my SKZ Scarefest! I had so much fun writing this absolute filth and I hope you guys enjoy reading it! thank you @silverlightprincess​ for proofreading, I love you! please be sure to check out the previous parts and keep an eye out for the next parts x

taglist: @kodzu-ken​ @cloudsgathering​ @silverlightprincess

silverlightqueen navigation

‘Took you long enough,’ Hyunjin says when I answer the door, and I give him an apologetic smile, making my eyes wide the way he can never resist, and I can see him fighting to keep the smile off his face. ‘Sorry. I was just… doing something,’ I say as I move aside to let him in, and he raises an eyebrow, slipping off his shoes. ‘Doing what?’ he asks, suspicious, and I avoid his gaze, locking the door after him. ‘I… um-’ ‘Let me guess. You forgot to have your iron supplements and remembered when I knocked on the door?’ he asks dryly, and I give him a weak smile, making him let out an annoyed huff.

‘y/n, I’m hungry. It’s been over a week,’ he complains, and I roll my eyes, trying to hide how endeared I always get at his complaining – he might be a big bad vampire to his clan, but he’s just a whiny little baby when he’s with me. ‘I’m sorry, Jinnie. It’s hard to remember, because I never used to take them,’ I say in my softest voice, knowing he won’t stay annoyed at me, and he just sighs, heading into the living room of my apartment. ‘And you used to wonder why you fainted all the time,’ he says exasperatedly, throwing himself down on my sofa.

When I first started at university, I was – to put it simply – broke as hell. My student loan funded my school supplies and my travel costs, and the money I earned working at my uncle’s restaurant paid for my driving lessons. I had no spare income to spend on anything else – I was still living with my parents, so I wasn’t homeless or hungry or anything. But I had no money for clothes, or nights out, or… anything other than the basic necessities.

When it got to the start of second year, and my uncle had to close his restaurant because he was getting a few customers a night if he was lucky (at every family gathering, he gets drunk and rambles about how Uber Eats murdered his business), I was desperate; I couldn’t pay for my driving lessons anymore, and I was having to buy a lot more supplies for school. One of my friends, Yeji, knew that I was struggling with money, and decided to confide in me about an arrangement she had with a friend of hers.

Her friend, Chan, was the leader of a vampire clan, she’d told me, and she was his blood donor. They’d meet a couple times a week, and he’d feed on her and pay her for it. I was fascinated – I knew vampires existed, but I never knew one personally, or knew anyone that knew one either, so to hear about Yeji’s arrangement astounded me. According to Yeji, vampires tend to drink from blood bags rather than from humans these days, but they still prefer blood from the source. So when Chan had offhandedly mentioned to Yeji that he was looking for a blood donor, she asked how much he was willing to pay. When she heard, she instantly offered to be his donor, knowing that that much money per feed would fund the rest of her university life after just a couple weeks.

I’d had so many questions for her. When I asked if it hurt, she told me the initial puncture felt a little like an injection, and then after that, she wouldn’t really feel anything other than it being a little uncomfortable to hold her neck at such an awkward angle. It would leave her feeling drowsy and weak, but Chan would feed her a little of his blood, just to strengthen her, and she would feel back to herself within no time. The two little scars on her neck would take a while to fade, but she said they were easy enough to cover up with makeup. I’d heard that being fed on was pleasurable, and almost sexual, but when I mentioned that to Yeji, she grimaced and said that it wasn’t at all like that. For her and Chan, it was a business transaction between good friends, and nothing more.

I was intrigued, to say the least, and I’d gone home that night thinking about the possibility of becoming a blood donor to a vampire. The next day, Yeji had run up to me excitedly, to tell me that one of Chan’s clan members was looking for a donor. Only a week later, I was waiting to meet him at a coffee shop, as though it was a blind date. I felt so nervous, worried that he’d take one look at me and walk straight back out. But the second he walked in and his eyes met mine, my heart stopped.

He was adorable, painfully so – with his soft brown hair falling over his cute glasses, and his light academia boyfriend aesthetic. He looked around my own age, but Yeji had told me that he was, in fact, 318 years old at the time (we celebrated his 320th birthday just a few months ago). He sat down with a shy smile, and I was lost for words. He had none of the pale skin or brooding moody looks or all black outfits – he was quite tanned with a friendly face and dressed in soft neutrals. I couldn’t believe that this harmless looking soft boy was a blood-sucking vampire. There was no way.

He bought us a coffee each, and bought me a caramel shortbread because, he told me shyly, it looked as sweet as me. We spoke for hours, our conversation quickly changing from generic and awkward, to comfortable and deep. I explained how difficult it was to fund life at university without putting pressure on my low-income parents to support me, and he explained his life as a vampire. We left the coffee shop at closing time, Hyunjin insisting on walking me home, and we parted with the decision that I would become his blood donor.

We met again, only a week later, with the same shy smiles and slightly awkward conversation. This time, I’d gone to the house that he shared with some of the clan members, but nobody else was at home. It was just us. We’d slowly worked up to it, and when Hyunjin was stood before me, neck bent so that his mouth brushed against the skin of my throat, I felt relaxed and prepared due to his gentle comforting and support. I tried my hardest not to tense when I felt his fangs puncture my skin, wincing a little at the sharp pain, but before I had time to get used to the feeling of someone drinking my blood, Hyunjin had pulled away, coughing up all my blood over his hoodie.

‘What’s the matter? Are you okay?’ I’d asked, and Hyunjin had wiped at his mouth, face twisted in disgust. ‘y/n, I’m really sorry, but your blood is… gross,’ he’d said bluntly, still coughing between each word. This had hurt more than you’d expect – somehow, it’s not a nice feeling to hear that a vampire finds your blood disgusting enough to cough it all back up. ‘Oh. I’m really sorry,’ I’d said, feeling humiliated, and Hyunjin had waved his hand in the air, swigging down some water. ‘No, don’t apologise. I just… I was just surprised. Do you not know you’re anaemic?’ he’d asked, and I’d blinked at him in surprise. ‘Anaemic?’ I’d echoed, and he’d nodded, an amused smile playing at his lips. ‘Your blood has, like, no iron in it. Drinking your blood was like… drinking bitter coffee. Just how you’d add milk and sugar to coffee, your blood needs iron.’

He’d left me in his room whilst he went to get me some iron supplements, and I’d eaten two of the gummy vitamins when he’d handed them to me. We’d waited for half an hour, and then we’d tried it again, sat on his bed this time. His fangs slid into the two little holes they’d made earlier, not as painful this time around, and he didn’t pull away this time either, instead pulling me closer with his strong arms. It was a weird sensation, not a… nasty one, but just weird. With each hungry gulp he took, I’d felt myself getting drowsier and drowsier, head becoming light, and my eyes slid shut after around thirty seconds.

I’d felt Hyunjin pull away only a few moments after that, and he’d shook me lightly, just to keep me awake. ‘Let me feed you some of my blood,’ he’d murmured gently, lifting his wrist to his mouth and piercing the skin. He’d held his wrist to my mouth then, and I’d gently sucked at his skin, tasting the metallic tang of his blood on my tongue. Seconds later, I felt wide awake, like nothing had happened at all.

For the next year, I went to his house twice a week for a few hours at a time. We’d usually watch a film or play a video game or just sit on our phones together in his room, when he wasn’t drinking my blood, of course. It didn’t take me long to realise he wasn’t exactly the shy soft boy I met that first day. Don’t get me wrong – he was still a little quiet sometimes, awkward and clumsy, a total scaredy cat, and he’d be shy around new people. But after a few weeks, once he was much more comfortable around me, different elements of his personality came out too. He was flirty and bratty and sassy and he could be a total whore – he loved his loose comfy clothes, but he also loved his tighter-than-skin jeans and slightly see-through shirts, leather and silk and expensive cotton blends, in black and navy tones. But he was also sensitive and emotional, thoughtful and sweet. It was soon obvious to me that he was multi-dimensional as a person, complex with so many levels, and I’d wanted nothing more than to get to know them all.

I met the majority of his clan members over that time, and they were all just as nice as Hyunjin. I spent a lot of time with them, because Yeji and our friends were friends with them too. We went to parties together, had a lot of movie nights or ordered takeout together at their clan house, meaning I spent more time with Hyunjin than I did with anyone else, which did nothing for my hopeless crush on him. But I didn’t mind that my attraction to him wasn’t reciprocated because we were slowly becoming best friends.

He was always so careful with me, so gentle, like I was an antique vase or a fine china teacup. He’d hold me close to him with a firm grip, and he’d take slow and steady gulps, never making more than two punctures in my skin when he fed on me. He would never have us sitting in one position for too long or feed on me for more than two minutes at a time – when he was particularly hungry, he’d feed on me three or four times in one sitting, but only for two minutes at a time. When he’d pull away, there was never any blood around his mouth like you see in the films, and no blood staining my neck either. He was clean and careful, always cautious of hurting me, and I was so grateful for that. Sometimes I’d run into Yeji at the house, after Chan had fed on her, and every now and then, she’d have blood all over her neck and shoulder or her clothes and hair would be a mess from Chan losing his composure and being a little rougher with her than usual. I would thank God each time, so lucky that Hyunjin treated me like a fragile doll.

After a year, I’d made enough money from being his donor – or, as Jisung loved to call me, Hyunjin’s personal blood bag – that I could put a deposit down on an apartment. I’d told my parents that I was working as an assistant at an accountancy firm when I didn’t have any lectures or seminars at university, which is why I was making so much money, and that Hyunjin was the only co-worker my own age, which is why I was with him so much. I moved into an apartment block around ten minutes from the clan house, on the same floor as Chaeryeong, and Hyunjin helped me move in. A couple of the other clan boys chipped in too so that, and I quote, ‘you have to let us stay with you when we want a break from the clan’.

Only a month after living at the apartment, I’d woken up in the middle of the night to someone hammering at the door. I’d jumped out of bed, dressed in just a little vest and satin shorts, arms and legs bare, stepping into my slippers as I rushed to the door. I’d had my phone in my hand and had typed in the number for the emergency services, ready to phone them if this was someone trying to rob me, and I’d opened the door carefully. Before I could even process what was going on, Hyunjin had burst in and thrown himself at me, pulling me into his arms and burying his head in my neck, my legs instinctually wrapping around his waist to keep myself steady.

‘Jin, are you oka-’ ‘I’m really fucking drunk, and all I could think about was you, and how hot you are, and how fucking amazing your blood is, and how much I wanna drain you dry, so I ditched the boys because I missed you too fucking much,’ he’d growled in my ear, making my eyes widen in shock and my underwear dampen embarrassingly quickly. He’d chuckled, taking a deep breath, before whispering, ‘judging by the sweet smell coming from your pussy, doll, I think you like the sound of that too.’

He’d kicked the door shut behind him and, with his vamp speed, we were in my bedroom only a few moments later, the vampire boy dropping me onto the bed and climbing over me instantly. ‘Listen, y/n, I’m not exaggerating when I say that I’m really, really drunk. Like… I’m wasted,’ he’d murmured into the skin of my neck, hands roughly trailing up and down the sides of my body. ‘I can tell,’ I’d replied breathlessly, hands tangled into his soft black locks, fluffy and messy around his forehead. ‘Which means… I’m not gonna be able to hold back. I probably won’t be gentle like I always am, because that always takes a lot of self-control, which I don’t… really have at the moment. So if you need me to stop, say… werewolf,’ he’d said against my skin, saying the last word with disdain. The werewolves and vampires had always had a long-standing rivalry, and he was obviously aware that the word would pull him out of any desire-filled reverie.

He hadn’t even given me a moment to reply before he’d sunk his teeth into my neck, rough and harsh, and I’d let out a gasp into his ear, his hands gripping onto my waist. He’d sucked at my neck, drinking my blood desperately, and I could feel it dripping down my shoulder and chest. And usually, when I wouldn’t be able to feel anything because of how gentle he was, all I could feel was pleasure, pure hot pleasure flooding through my veins. It was heavenly, and I’d let out little moans and whimpers into his ear, making him even more desperate, with my hands on his back, nails digging in through his thin white shirt.

It wasn’t long before his big veiny hands were wandering eagerly around my body, one palming at my breast and rolling the hard nipple between his fingertips, the other slipping under my shorts and pressing against my clothed core, my wetness having seeped through my underwear. He’d moved away from my neck and looked down at me with ruby red eyes, his jet black hair a sweaty mess and my blood dripping down his chin in harsh red lines. ‘Fuck, y/n, you’re so fucking hot. You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this,’ he’d growled, his pointed fangs on full display, making my chest tighten with desire. ‘Can I fuck you, doll? I need you so fucking bad right now,’ he’d asked lowly, hands both stilling against my body, and I’d instantly replied, ‘yes, Hyunjin, please.’

Now, another year later, it’s pretty common that we fuck when he feeds on me. I found out that it was so difficult for him to feed on me as gently as he used to, desperate to just throw me against a wall and drain me of every drop. But when I’d look at him nervously with my ‘big innocent eyes’, he knew he couldn’t hurt me. But that night, we’d found out that messy and rough feeding just felt… so much better. We’d also found out a lot of other things since that night; Hyunjin loves biting me in places other than my neck – my boobs and the insides of my thighs are his personal favourites – and I love it when he’s fucking me and bites me just as I’m about to cum – it heightens the pleasure a thousand times, making me see white and scream his name out like it’s being torn from my throat.

But, to my slight disappointment, sex is all it is. We’re like friends with benefits, but the benefits include feeding on me as well as sex. A lot of other things have changed though. Hyunjin practically lives at the apartment now – he sleeps here 4 or 5 nights a week. It’s like we share the apartment; he’s got as many of his belongings here as I do. I don’t mind it, though. He is pretty much my best friend, so spending time together is enjoyable, even if it means I’m falling more and more for him. Hyunjin’s paid me enough over the past couple years for me to be able to do my master’s degree, and I also managed to get a part time job at the coffee shop where Hyunjin and I first met, so it doesn’t feel like I’m solely relying on the money he gives me (it’s enough to fund me, but I don’t want him to think I’m like his little blood bag and nothing more – I basically am but we won’t talk about that).

This last week, though, I went away with the girls for a little last minute break to Rome (we’d planned to go for two weeks but then we would’ve missed Jackson’s Halloween party in a few days, and it’s already being called the party of the year, so we decided to just go for a week), and so he’s had to drink from blood bags whilst I was gone. He was sending me all these sad snapchats of him pouting with a straw in his mouth, wishing he was drinking from me instead – I think he wanted me to react to it with pity, but instead it was just turning me on. I landed back a couple hours ago, and I forgot to have my iron supplement vitamins when I arrived at the apartment, so he’s right – I had them when he knocked on the door.

I look down at him, sprawled out on his side of the sofa, his black locks a stark contrast against the grey cushions. He looks like such a boyfriend, dressed in a thin white t-shirt and a pair of grey joggers, white socks on his feet, glasses on his face and a silver chain around his neck. He looks up at me with a small grin on his face, eyes scanning my body. ‘You look hot, doll,’ he smirks, and I feel my cheeks heating up. I’m only in comfy travel clothes but he’s looking at me like I’m dressed up to the nines. ‘Thank you, Jin,’ I reply, sitting down beside him and letting him pull my legs across his lap.

‘I’m being serious. You look all glowy. And you’ve tanned a little. Did you have fun?’ he asks, hands skimming up and down my legs. ‘I loved it, Jin. We should go together. Everything was so beautiful. The sights are amazing, the weather is gorgeous, the food is delicious, the people are so lovely. The vibes there are just perfect. You’d love it,’ I tell him, and he just watches me as I speak, a small smile on his plump lips. ‘You’ll have to take me one day, angel,’ he murmurs, and I nod, unable to keep the shy smile from my face.

‘I saw on Ryujin’s story,’ he begins, and I knew this was coming, my heart sinking a little as he continues, ‘that you guys made friends with the people staying in the hotel room next to you. What were they like?’ ‘They were nice. We didn’t actually speak to them ‘til the fourth day, then we had dinner and drinks together on the fifth day, went sightseeing together on the sixth, and shopping together on the seventh. But, yeah, they were okay. They were a bit too… boisterous and noisy for my liking, but the girls got on with them, so I didn’t mind spending time with them,’ I explain honestly, and he just nods, looking like he still has more questions. ‘How many of them were there?’ ‘There were eight boys, and four of them brought their girlfriends. I got along better with their girlfriends than them, to be honest,’ I say lightly, Hyunjin just looking at me unreadably. ‘So you spent a few days in Rome with four single guys?’ he asks, voice tight, and I let out a gentle sigh.

‘Jin, do-’ ‘Answer the question, y/n.’ ‘Yes, we did. Is that a problem, Jin?’ ‘No, y/n, it’s not. Or, at least, it wouldn’t be, if you weren’t covered in a scent that isn’t yours,’ he says evenly, and my eyes widen. ‘I’m covered in someone else’s scent? Well… it must be Yuna’s, because we shared a bed. Or Lia’s – I wore her hoodie on the flight ba-’ ‘No, y/n. I’ve spent enough time with Yuna and Lia to know what they smell like. That’s not the scent on you. You smell like a human boy. So stop lying and tell me why,’ he says, voice tight, and I sigh. ‘Jin, I’m not lying. I didn’t, like, sleep with any of them, if that’s what you’re worried about.’ ‘Then why do you smell like a human boy?’ he asks slowly, obviously trying to keep his composure, and I take a deep breath.

‘I was sat next to one of them on the flight back, and he fell asleep. His head fell on my shoulder a couple times, and I felt bad to wake him up, so I just le-’ ‘You just what, y/n? You let a random human boy sleep on you? Get his scent all over you?’ he demands, hands tightening on my legs and veins protruding from beneath his honey skin. ‘Are you being serious right now, Jin?’ ‘Yes, I am. You can’t just let random human boys get their scent all over you.’ ‘And why not?’ I demand, voice shaky with anger as I take my legs off his lap, and he glares at me. ‘Because I pay you a lot of money to feed on you, and I don’t want anyone else getting near what’s mine,’ he growls, butterflies exploding in my stomach when his eyes glow red.

‘But I’m not yours, Jin. You pay me to feed on me. That’s all. There was no agreement that I would stay away from any other boy!’ I exclaim, shocked at how ridiculous he’s being and trying to ignore how much my body is aching for him, and he scoffs. ‘You don’t need any other boy. I give you all the companionship you need, I fund you so you buy anything you want, and I keep you satisfied. That’s all you need,’ he says simply, and my mouth falls open slightly. ‘What if I wanted a boyfriend? An actual relationship with a boy who loves me?’ I ask, giving him a chance to say what I so want him to say, and his eyes flash momentarily before he says, ‘you don’t want a relationship.’ ‘What if I did?’ ‘We’ll cross that bridge when it comes to it. But, for now, you’re mine, y/n, and you know it. I don’t want you getting any other boys’ scents on you again, understood?’ he asks, and I just stare at him in shock, unable to believe how unreasonably he’s behaving.

He gives me a few seconds to reply and when I don’t, he moves so quickly I don’t even realise what’s happened until he’s hovering over me, my back pressing into the sofa, and his hand is pressed to my throat tightly. ‘I asked you if you understand,’ he says lowly, eyes glowing red and fangs glinting in the mellow light of the lamp, threateningly sharp. ‘No, Jin, I don’t. I don’t understand why I should have to stay away from other boys,’ I whisper, heart nearly beating out of my chest, and he lets out a harsh scoff. ‘Because you don’t need them. You only need me,’ he growls, tightening his grip on my throat, and I let out a little gasp of surprise, already feeling a slight dizziness in my head.

‘You only want me, too,’ he whispers, ducking his head so that his soft lips move against the skin over my collarbones, releasing my throat and moving his hand to hold my waist instead. ‘You think I don’t know that? You think I don’t know how much you want me, doll? You forget how well I know you, much better than you can ever know yourself. I can sense your every thought, your every feeling – I can smell it on you. The way the serotonin rolls off you in waves when you look at me, the way you drip with dopamine when we touch, the way I feel like I’m drunk on your endorphins whenever I’m around. My presence makes you want me, angel, and we both know it,’ he murmurs softly between gentle kisses, fluffy hair tickling against my cheek, and all I can feel, more with each word, is complete and utter humiliation. Never once has he – or any of the other vampires I see on a daily basis – told me that they can do that – can sense humans’ emotions.

He lets out a gentle chuckle, pushing himself up on one forearm to look down at me with a half-smirk. ‘Don’t be embarrassed, doll. I love it – I really fucking love it – that you want me as much as I want you. As much as I’ve always wanted you, since the first moment I set eyes on you. It consumes me, angel, how much I want you,’ he admits, not looking me in the eyes as his hand slowly makes its way up from my waist to brush my hair back from my face, and the butterflies in my stomach are unbearable. ‘How much do you want me?’ I ask without thinking, the words coming out as a whisper, and his eyes flit up to meet mine, both of us silent as I wait for him to speak, hoping to God he’s going to say he wants me just as much as I want him – more than just sexually. ‘More than you can ever know, princess,’ he murmurs, sparkly brown eyes locking with mine, and my heart jumps at the nickname he so rarely calls me – I’m doll every day, angel when he’s in the mood, but I’m only princess every now and then, when his eyes sparkle the way they are now, like he’s looking at the universe and it’s reflected back in those beautiful brown eyes.

‘Let me… let me show you?’ he whispers, the words coming out slightly questioning, and I can’t help the small smile that spreads across my lips, despite not hearing quite what I wanted to. I slide my hand around the back of his neck, fingers pressing into his soft skin as I pull him down to me, eyes sliding shut as his lips meet mine. I never used to understand the hype over kissing. I never had any of the fireworks, the passion, the clashing tongues and teeth like you read in books and see in films. I only ever kissed one boy, once, and it was quite awkward – he practically tried to suck off my face from the get-go, his hands clamped on my shoulders. But Hyunjin, god, is he good at kissing? I could kiss him for the rest of my life, with his soft plump lips and his hands trailing all over my body.

He barely waits a second before parting my lips with his, tongue sliding into my mouth without a moment of hesitation and his big hand pressing against my waist. I tangle my hands into his hair, soft locks sliding between my fingers, and I wrap my legs around his waist, pulling him closer to me, as close as physically possible. Before I even have a chance to start feeling uncomfortable, I feel a rush a movement, and not even a few seconds later, I’m on my bed beneath him, our lips still pressed together.

He turns us over, my body laid on top of his, and I forget momentarily that my weight atop him is nothing in comparison to the kind of weight he can carry. I practically melt into him, my body melding into the curves and contours of his body, fitting us together like puzzle pieces. He slides his hands into my hair, the feeling of his fingers against my scalp making me let out a soft whine. ‘You’re fucking perfect, doll,’ he groans against my lips, my entire body tingling as our mouths move in sync, slow and passionate, not nearly as rushed and desperate as usual. His touches are gentle, careful and tender, where he usually holds me in a bruisingly tight grip, rough and possessive.

I slide my hands under his t-shirt tentatively, and he doesn’t even hesitate to sit up, breaking away from me momentarily as I pull the top over his head, throwing it over my shoulder as he reattaches his lips to mine. I slide my hands over his torso, fingers roaming over the ridges of his hard abs, his skin radiating heat. Vampires might have no circulation but the rumour about them being freezing cold all the time is false – their body temperature automatically regulates to the temperature around them, meaning he’s just as hot as I am right now.

His hands slide under my shirt, and we break apart again for him to pull it over my head, instantly leaning down to suck at the exposed skin of my breasts as he cups them, big hands covering them completely. I let out gentle whines, head falling back, and one of his hands comes to rest at the base of my exposed throat, asserting his dominance – I might be on top of him right now, but we both know who’s in charge here.

He doesn’t wait long before turning us over, kissing me for a few more moments before he climbs off me, standing at the foot of the bed. He gently grabs my ankles, pulling me down the bed, and I let out a gentle giggle, a smile on his face at the sound. He pulls off my socks, momentarily tickling the underside of one foot, and a startled laugh is forced out of me as I kick at his hand to make him stop. He reaches for the drawstring of my joggers with a grin, tugging it open deftly and pulling them down my legs swiftly.

My black underwear isn’t anything special, just a plain cotton bra and my high-waisted comfy granny pants, but his eyes trawl over my body like I’m in the finest lingerie, the bulge in his joggers becoming a little more noticeable, making my mouth water embarrassingly quickly – I could live on my knees for Hyunjin if that’s what he wanted me to do. His eyes meet mine, a small smirk on his lips as he drops to his knees, pulling me further down the bed so that my legs are slung over his broad shoulders, heels resting against his strong back.

His hands grab at my pants, ripping them away from my body effortlessly, reminding me again of just how strong he is – he could literally crush my neck without a single hair of his moving out of place. He spreads my legs further, eyes locked onto my core, and he lets out a gentle groan. ‘Fuck, so wet for me, angel,’ he murmurs, running a finger over my slit, a desperate whimper falling from my lips. ‘I don’t need prepping – just want you, Jin,’ I murmur, and he lets out a gentle chuckle. ‘That’s the spirit, doll, but I don’t wanna rip you in half. We’ll see how well you take my fingers first,’ he says amusedly, not giving me a second to reply before he plunges a finger into me.

I gasp loudly, but the pleasure disappears with his finger which he lifts to his lips, eyes locked with mine as he licks his finger clean of my essence. His eyes flutter shut momentarily as he lets out a low moan, my pussy flooding at the sound. ‘You taste amazing, so fucking sweet. This pussy was made for me to eat, wasn’t it, angel?’ he asks, and when I take a second to reply, he raises an eyebrow, prompting me. ‘Yes, Jin, only for you,’ I reply hastily, and a satisfied smile spreads across his lips.

His finger slips between my folds again, and he doesn’t give me a second to react before he adds another, trying to work me open a little. ‘You’re so tight, doll. And you said you didn’t need prepping,’ he laughs, curling his long fingers inside me, making me clench around him. He slowly pumps in and out of me, rocking his hand against me gently, and I let out moan after moan at this completely foreign feeling. He’s always so quick, so desperate to have me fall apart on his hand as fast as I could, but this? This is different, this is slow, heavenly, like he wants me to enjoy this blissful feeling.

He adds another finger, just about fitting inside me, and I throw my head back against the bed, back arching up as I let out a loud moan of his name. ‘Fuck, angel, you’re killing me. Love your pretty moans,’ I hear him murmur, his voice just about breaking through the pleasure that rolls over me like waves crashing, and his thumb appears at my clit, rubbing slow circles that make me whimper desperately. I look down at him, stomach turning when I realise he’s been watching me, eyes studying my face for my reactions as his fingers work their magic, and I can barely maintain his eye contact, hearing him chuckle when my head falls back, mouth falling open in a moan.

His fingers disappear from inside me after a few minutes, giving me a momentary reprieve from the overwhelming pleasure as he moves closer to me, warm breath fanning out over my core. ‘Oh, god,’ I moan out when he licks a long stripe up my slit without warning. My hands instantly reach down to tangle into his hair, tugging at the locks as he sucks at my clit with his plump lips, making my toes curl. He flicks his tongue over my folds, whimpers spilling from my lips as I squirm, and Hyunjin puts one arm over my waist, pressing down to hold me in place.

He pokes his tongue between my folds, gently pushing into my core, and my mouth falls open into a silent scream when he begins to slowly rub at my clit with his thumb, my legs slamming into his back and pulling him even closer, as close as possible, his head completely buried between my legs. Wet and obscene slurping sounds drown out my desperate moans, and Hyunjin begins to let out grunts and groans against me, lapping at me like a man possessed.

I feel myself getting closer, the knot in my stomach tightening as Hyunjin sucks at my clit, pushing two fingers into me and pumping them at a mind-numbing pace. ‘Gonna cum for me, angel?’ he hums against me, and I can’t even muster up the sanity to reply, just moaning out his name, and he lets out a low chuckle before flicking his tongue over my sensitive bud, fingers curling against the spongy spot inside me. I tense up completely, head pressed back into the bed as I call out his name in a moan, releasing all over his hand and tongue. He works me through my orgasm, gently rocking his hand against me as he laps at my folds. ‘God, you taste amazing,’ he murmurs once I’ve come down from my high, licking the last bit of my release from his fingers, and it takes all my effort to lock my eyes with his as he does so, his lips quirking up into a smirk.

And then he lifts his wrist to his mouth, and I know what’s coming, stomach turning with excitement as he bites down into the skin. When he pulls his wrist away from his mouth, I push myself up onto my hands shakily, leaning forward to his wrist that he holds out to me, blood blooming from the smallest little wounds in his skin. I hold his arm to my mouth, sucking at the dots of blood, the metallic taste exploding on my tongue, and not a second after swallowing it down, I feel my energy coming back, regaining my strength quickly.

He pulls his arm away after a few seconds, his focus returning to between my legs, but when he lowers his head, his lips land on my inner thigh rather than my pussy, and I brace myself for the initial sting. His sharp fangs puncture into my soft thigh, the smallest sharp pain making me wince, but it quickly disappears when he hungrily gulps down my blood, messy and desperate. He lets out groans against my thigh, my blood dripping down my skin as he drinks me like a man starved, and I can already feel myself weakening, the pleasure making my head light and dizzy. He lifts his arm up again after a few moments, the two tiny puncture wounds still bleeding, and I lick it up, the weakness disappearing instantly.

He pulls away after around a minute, my blood dripping down his chin in two lines from the corners of his mouth, as though he’s greedily taken more of me into his mouth than he could handle, and he smirks at me as I wipe it up, putting my now bloodstained finger to his lips. He licks my finger in one swift motion, eyes closing as he savours the taste. ‘It’s not fair, angel. You shouldn’t have such a sweet pussy and delicious blood. You’ve got the whole package,’ he murmurs lightly, making me laugh as he rises from his knees, a small smile playing at his lips.

He looks down at me, dark eyes flitting over my body, and I feel conscious under his intimidating gaze. He seems to sense that I want to curl in on myself, shield my body from his view, and he gives me a soft smile. ‘You’re so fucking beautiful, y/n, and you don’t even know it. You’re heavenly, angel,’ he murmurs softly, holding out a hand to me, and I take it, letting him pull me up from the bed and into his arms. He holds me so tenderly, so gently, that I can’t help but bury my head into his chest, his soft and floral scent flooding my senses.

‘Gonna let me fuck you, angel?’ he asks, voice low, and I take a step back from him, a small smile on my face. ‘Wanna suck your dick first,’ I reply, his eyes darkening instantly, and I can’t help the grin on my face when he groans, ‘you’re one of a fucking kind.’ I take his hand into mine, pulling him around to the side of the bed. I kneel on the bed, hands on his shoulders to steady myself, and once I’m comfortable, I pull the drawstring on his joggers open, slipping my hands under to push them halfway down his thighs. He’s wearing a pair of plain black boxers, his bulge straining against the material, but I don’t pull them down just yet, instead moving my attention to his torso.

He’s so perfect, sculpted by the Gods, and I can’t help but admire his body every time I see it, hands running up his stomach and chest, and over his big shoulders. I bring my lips up to his collarbone, kissing and sucking to leave a mark, threading my hands into the hair at the nape of his neck. He waits patiently, hands on my waist, lips letting out gentle sighs every now and then, and I can’t help but respect his self-control. He’s always so patient, putting me before himself, and I can’t even imagine how difficult it must be for him.

I take pity on him after a little while, moving from his neck and looking up at him with a small smile as my hands trail down to his underwear. I slip my hands beneath the waistband, pulling his boxers down just enough for his hard length to spring up against his stomach, Hyunjin letting out a gentle hiss. He’s so long with a perfect curve (he has the most beautiful cock I’ve ever seen), and his head is painfully swollen and red, the tip leaking with milky white precum. My mouth waters at the sight.

I lean down and press a kiss to the tip, tongue sliding out to taste some of his precum, and he lets out a shaky breath. I spread his wetness down his length with one hand, his hands coming to tangle into my hair. I place my tongue at the base, licking up to the tip against the vein on the underside of his cock, and he tenses as I do so, gripping my hair tightly. I take his head into my mouth, swirling my tongue around him as my hands slowly rub the rest of his length. I look up at him through my lashes as I take him further into my mouth, feeling him hit the back of my throat, and his head falls back, a soft moan falling from his lips.

I gradually build my pace, steadily bobbing my head on him and taking him as far in as possible. ‘Such a good girl, doll,’ he groans, gentle moans falling from his lips more and more often now, and I know it isn’t going to be long before he loses all control. I’m just beginning to adjust to having him hit the back of my throat with each bob of my head when his hips start twitching, and he begins thrusting into my mouth, controlling my head movements with his hands fisted into my hair. All I can do I grab onto the backs of his thighs as he fucks my mouth, my eyes beginning to water. His tip hits the back of my throat harshly, and I gag around him loudly, making him curse as he bucks into my throat.

‘Swallow,’ he instructs, voice not nearly as gentle and soft as a few minutes ago, and I try my best to do so, my throat contracting around him in noisy gags. ‘Come on, doll, you can take me further than that,’ he says teasingly, before pulling my head forward, his cock pushing down my throat and my lips wrapped around the base of his cock, and he can barely thrust back and forth because of how tight my throat is around him, desperately gagging to push him back out. Tears stream down my face, saliva running down my chin, and my choked gags and desperate breaths mingling with his soft grunts and whispered words of comfort in the air.

I can feel him getting closer, his cock twitching in my throat, and I ready myself to feel his hot release hit the back of my throat, but he pulls me off him with a loud sigh, looking down at me with tender eyes. He wipes the saliva from my face with gentle fingers, tilting my head up to kiss away the tear tracks that stain my skin, hand stroking my hair soothingly. ‘Always so good for me, angel. Gonna let me fuck you now?’ he asks, our eyes locked together, and I nod eagerly. ‘Please, Jin, want you,’ I breathe out, throat hoarse, and he grins, pressing his lips to mine in a brief kiss.

‘Lie down for me,’ he says, and I do so, watching as he pulls his joggers and boxers down his legs and kicking them away impatiently before he joins me on the bed, hovering over me. ‘You’re still in your bra, doll. This won’t do,’ he grins, slipping a hand beneath my body to expertly unclasp my bra. I pull it off me quickly, throwing it off to the side as Hyunjin ducks his head, flicking his tongue across one nipple as he rolls the other between his fingers, toying and tugging at it gently. I let out a gentle whimper, tangling my fingers into his hair, and he lets out a gentle chuckle. ‘Want me to bite you, angel?’ he asks teasingly, and I let out a low moan as confirmation, feeling his sharp fangs slide into the soft flesh of my breast not a moment later.

I gasp loudly, pleasure flooding through my veins as he swallows down my blood hungrily, the heady haze of bliss settling over me more and more with each gulp. Whimpers and moans fall from my lips every few seconds, my hands in his hair pulling him closer and closer, one of his big hands gripping onto my waist, fingers rubbing against my skin comfortingly. He doesn’t drink a lot this time, having had more than enough from my thigh, so I don’t feel too weak, but he still feeds me a little of his blood when he’s done, making me smile up at him.

‘Are you sure you still want me to fuck you? Have you got enough energy?’ he asks softly, brushing my hair back from my face, and I nod, leaning up to press a kiss to his lips. ‘I want it, Jinnie. I want you,’ I whisper against his lips, and I feel him grin, resting on one forearm as he rubs his head against my folds teasingly. ‘Jin… please,’ I breathe out, wrapping my arms around his shoulders, and he lets out a low chuckle. ‘I like hearing you beg, doll,’ he murmurs, smile playing at his lips as he continues running his head up and down my folds, tapping the tip against my clit every few seconds, the wetness gushing from my core soaking him. ‘Please, Jin, need you to fuck me, fill me up with your cock, bite me and drain me dry, need it so bad,’ I plead pathetically, and his eyes darken at my words, the boy letting out a gentle ‘fuck’.

He sinks into me slowly, and I gasp as he inches in, enjoying the burning stretch and gripping onto his strong shoulders as I wrap my legs around his waist, pulling him closer to me with my ankles locked together. He lets out a low groan when he bottoms out, our bodies lined up perfectly, and he brings his hand up to my mouth, slipping two fingers past my lips. I roll my tongue around them as he gives me a moment to stop clenching around him and adjust to the stretch. He pushes his fingers a little further in, making me gag around them, and I shoot him evils, Hyunjin trying to look apologetic, but failing miserably and looking amused instead.

‘Can I- fuck, angel, you gotta stop clenching, gonna make me cum. Can I move? Doll, please, I need to move,’ he pleads, the words coming out as a low whine, and I feel a thrill in my stomach. I can’t help but feel pride at being able to make Hyunjin – someone so dominant – whiny and submissive because he’s that desperate to fuck me. I hum out permission around his fingers, and he pulls all the way out before pushing back in, slow and deep, the drag of his cock against my walls making us both moan. ‘Fuck, so tight, angel. So wet and tight. Fucking love this pussy, doll,’ he growls as he fucks into me, dark eyes locked with mine as I moan around his fingers.

‘How’d you want it, y/n? Want me to fuck you slow, doll, or so hard you can’t walk tomorrow?’ he asks in a low voice, hips stilling as he pulls his fingers out of my mouth, and I let out a gentle whine, not quite sure what I want. ‘Anything, Jin, just need you,’ I whisper breathlessly, and he grins a cocky grin, his ego satisfied. His hand comes to the base of my throat, pads of his fingers resting against my blood vessels, and he pulls out, leaving me feeling empty, before slamming all the way back in, knocking all of the air out of me in a desperate moan, his balls slapping against my ass.

‘You were only gone a week but, fuck, I missed you so fucking much. Missed your sweet pussy and your sweet blood, angel. Couldn’t stop myself from jacking off to the thought of this tight, wet little cunt, doll,’ he growls against my ear, his hand at my throat tightening just a little, and I let out a pathetic whimper in reply, his words sending a fresh wave of arousal gushing out of me, coating his thighs and abdomen. ‘So wet, doll, gushing around me. Did you miss my cock, angel?’ he asks between thrusts, my hands tangling into his soft locks, gripping tightly. ‘Missed your cock so much, Jin. Wanted you so fucking bad while I was gone. Never wanna leave you again,’ I try to say, half of it coming out as garbled nonsense and moans, and he lets out a low groan, his thrusts becoming even harder and deeper, his silver chain brushing against my chin with each thrust.

His hand tightens even more, completely cutting off my airflow, and my head instantly starts to become light, the pleasure increasing endlessly with each second. ‘More,’ I barely manage to breathe out, and he lets out a gentle chuckle, doing as I say, fucking me so hard that the bed creaks with each thrust. ‘My dirty little girl. Can’t even handle what I’m already giving you, and you’re asking for more. You forget how strong I am. I’m gonna tear you in half as this rate, angel,’ he murmurs against my ear, hand still tight at my throat, silver rings digging into my skin, and I don’t even feel fear, like I probably should. All I can feel is pure, hot need.

He moves one of my legs from around his waist, bringing it up between us so that my ankle rests on his shoulder, the new position allowing him to go deeper, so much deeper, and his tip scrapes against the spot inside me that makes me scream. He reaches down to rub at my clit, bringing me closer to my climax, and I can feel my vision beginning to go blank when he ducks his head to suck at my neck with his plump lips. The mixed sensations of his hand at my throat, his cock filling me up perfectly, his thumb at my clit and his mouth sucking marks onto my skin makes my eyes flutter shut, the pleasure overwhelming me.

‘Look at me, angel. Wanna see those pretty eyes while I fuck you,’ he growls, cock dragging against my walls, and it takes all my energy to open my eyes. His jaw is clenched, sweat dripping down his face, lips swollen, eyes dark and dilated, glinting red every few seconds, his chain dangling in my face. He looks like sin incarnate. ‘Fuck, you’re so pretty. So fucking pretty,’ he groans, releasing my throat from his tight grip, and I take a deep gasping breath, not even realising how much I needed to breathe. He holds his wrist to his mouth, biting at it again and pushing it against my mouth. I lick up the small drops of blood, quickly regaining my strength, and he presses his lips to mine once I’m done, in a brief passionate and sloppy kiss.

He breaks away from me with a grin, continuing to fuck me hard and deep, swollen tip scraping against the spongy spot inside me, and I let out desperate moans and whimpers of his name, Hyunjin grunting and groaning sinfully softly as tears stream down my face, blurring my vision. I clench around him sporadically, knowing my high is nearing, and he knows it too, his hand slipping down to my clit and rubbing slow circles with his thumb, making me call out his name. ‘Gonna cum for me, doll?’ he asks, and I can’t even bring myself to reply, just nodding along with loud moan, and he grins, his cock still hammering into me.

‘Want you to cum for me, angel. Cum on my cock, y/n, soak it up like a good little girl. So good for me, angel, wanna feel you cum around me,’ he prompts, pushing me closer and closer, the knot in stomach becoming tighter and tighter, and I’m so close, practically there, hanging on the precipice of my high. He grins at me, his lethal fangs sliding out and his eyes glowing red before he ducks his head, biting into the soft flesh of my neck and pushing me over the edge. I scream out his name as he gulps down my blood, numbing bliss flowing through me like morphine, his cock still rocking into me and his thumb toying with my clit. My vision is completely blank, neither white nor black, just… blank, pleasure exploding within me, and I feel my consciousness slipping away until Hyunjin’s finger slips between my lips. He must have bitten it because I taste his blood on my tongue, bringing me back to this moment with him.

He breaks away from my neck when I’ve come down from my high, lips and chin covered in my blood and his eyes still flickering red as he grins, both hands digging into the mattress on either side of my head, the pace of his thrusts increasing once more, his cock slamming into me as he chases his high. I wrap my legs around his waist tightly, arms around his shoulders and nails digging into his skin, hard enough to leave marks. I try not to let the overstimulation stop me from getting him to his climax, my pussy clenching around him with sensitivity, and when I feel his cock twitching inside me, desperate moans falling from his lips and face scrunching up with desperate desire, I know he’s about to cum. I dig my heels into his back to hold him deep inside me, and his head drops down to my neck.

‘Cum in me, Jin. Wanna feel you cum in me, please. Fill me up, Jin. Cum for me, baby,’ I murmur into his ear and he does as I ask, moaning my name loudly against my neck as his entire body tenses up. He bites into me again as he releases inside me, his hot thick cum painting my insides as he slowly moves his hips against me, leisurely sucking my blood. He gently rocks into me until he’s finished and I’m completely out of breath, both of us covered in blood, sweat, tears and cum.

‘God, you’re so good for me, angel,’ he murmurs gently after pulling away from my neck, his fangs retracting before he presses kisses to the skin he’s just bitten, sucking and nipping to leave marks. I play with his hair, body still tensing with aftershocks, and he runs his hands up and down my body, caressing my sweaty skin. Every movement, every action, every featherlight touch of his is so comforting, so tender, that I feel like I can stay here with him forever, letting him worship my body so gently like this, my hands playing with his soft, fluffy locks.

But after a while, I can feel myself drifting away, and I know I can’t sleep like this – covered in various… liquids, with completely soiled sheets and a vampire practically drunk on my blood lying on top of me. ‘Jin… I gotta get up. Clean myself up before I sleep,’ I murmur, and he whines, making me smile at his bratty behaviour. ‘No, wanna stay like this,’ he mumbles against my breast, having ventured down to leave marks on the soft flesh beside my nipple. ‘We can after. Just let me have a quick shower and change the sheets,’ I say softly, and he sighs, waiting a few moments before he pulls out of me and gets up off me, standing up beside the bed.

‘Wait here a second,’ he says before heading towards the bathroom, giving me a view of his cute little ass as he goes. I lie there in silence for a couple minutes, focused on the feeling of his thick cum trickling out of me, before he reappears with a smile, making my heart stop momentarily. His hair is pasted to his forehead with sweat, the bottom half of his face is covered in blood, his lips are swollen and his eyes are lidded with the drunken tiredness of being full on blood, but he looks like the most beautiful man in the world to me.

He scoops me up into his arms, bridal style, and carries me into the bathroom, my eyes on his face the entire time, a small smile on his lips because he knows I’m watching him and admiring him. When we walk into the bathroom, my eyes flit to the bathtub, which is now full. I realise he’s drawn me a bath, my heart swelling when he gently puts me down, not letting go until my feet are firmly on the floor. ‘Go to the toilet first. Don’t want you getting a UTI,’ he says, and I let out a bratty whine, making him raise an eyebrow. ‘Toilet. Now,’ he says, and I pout, stomping to the toilet. His eyes stay locked with mine as I piss, and I let out a laugh after a few seconds – the fact that he’s stood there naked and covered in blood watching me as I wee naked and covered in blood is just so funny to my sleep deprived and jet-lagged mind – and he just rolls his eyes with an amused smile.

Once I’m done washing my hands, I practically bound to the bath eagerly, and he helps me to climb in. I sigh happily as sit in the tub, the temperature of the water perfect to cool down my burning hot skin. I lean back against the edge, my eyelids drooping with tiredness as I watch him wash his face in the sink, cleaning away all the blood. ‘What a waste,’ he murmurs as he watches the red-tinted water wash down the sinkhole, making me let out a little laugh, and he smiles softly at the sound. He climbs into the shower and I watch as he turns the dial, the glass fogging up as the water rains down over him, soaking his honey skin and his pitch black hair.

I love watching Hyunjin do anything, my eyes not leaving his face as he gently scrubs at his skin with my passionfruit-scented shower gel, but I’m so tired that, without even realising it, I fall asleep after a few minutes. Hyunjin wakes me with a tender smile, once he’s out of the shower, wearing fresh underwear and joggers, his chest bare and a towel around his neck to gather the water that drips from his dark hair. I’m too tired to even speak as he washes me, soft hands rubbing gently at my skin, cleaning away the sweat on my body, the blood stains around where he bit me, the dried release around my thighs and the echoes of tear tracks on my face. Neither of us speak the entire time, but we don’t really have to – his touches on my body say everything he wants to say, and my gaze locked onto his face says anything I want to say.

He drains the bath, drying me carefully and carrying me back into the bedroom once he’s done, redressing me in a clean pair of underwear and a soft t-shirt of his that I’ve claimed as my own. He must have changed the sheets whilst I was asleep in the bath, and we climb into my bed together, his arms holding me close. I almost fall asleep the instant my head lands on the pillow, eyes fluttering shut as my body lines up with Hyunjin’s, his front pressed to my back and his arms around my waist. I stay awake just long enough to hear him whisper something, something that sounds suspiciously like what I’ve wanted to hear from him for nearly as long as I’ve known him, but sleep takes me before I can reply.

When I wake in the morning, the other side of the bed is empty, and his bedroom is empty too. And when I see that his shoes are gone from beside the door, I realise he must have left whilst I was asleep. I practically turn the apartment upside down, but he hasn’t left me a note. I check my phone, but he hasn’t texted or called. I can barely make it back into bed before I dissolve into tears, sobbing as though my heart would break.

[jlalafics]

“Operator”-an Everlark Ficlet

For @mrspeetamellark, who wanted “Peeta’s dirty filthy sex talk”. Enjoy!

Katniss couldn’t believe she was doing this.

Delly had convinced her that this would broaden her horizons.

Apparently, that’s what she needed after a dumping such as hers.

Her year-long relationship with Cato had ended with a bitter fight and him telling her that she was bore in the bedroom. Then, he promptly informed her that he was moving out of their apartment to shack up with Clove, a little beast of a woman who had clawed her way up into Cato’s penis.

That was fine. The relationship had been going downhill months ago.

However, this was kind of a new low for her.

She went to the mirror in the corner of her bedroom, looking at her reflection and wondering if the black nightie was necessary.

Then, pouring a glass of wine from the bottle on her bedside table, Katniss pulled out a card with the scantily clad man on it and dialed the number.

It rang a twice.

She told herself she would hang up on the third, when someone suddenly picked up the line.

“Hello?” came a smooth, deep voice.

“Hi,” she croaked out nervously. “This is stupid.”

The man on the phone chuckled. “I hope not. It’s how I make a living.”

“Oh hell—I’m sorry!” Katniss slap her palm to her forehead. “I’ve never done this before, but my friend suggested it as a way to help me discover ‘my sexual goddess’—whatever the fuck that means.”

“Sounds like you’ve been going through something,” the man replied. “Want to tell me about it?”

“I’ve been living with my ex for a year and he just dumped me for a girl who will let him put it anywhere he wants.”

“Ouch. Sounds like a real charmer.”

“You bet,” she responded wryly. “I’m not too sad about it. I’m more insulted that he thought I was boring in bed. I mean, I would’ve let him put it anywhere, but some foreplay would’ve been nice. Also, being completely silent while I’m pulling out the big guns didn’t help.”

“Some guys expect women to just automatically go for anything,” the man said. “But I find that, in healthy sexual relationships, there has to be an equal amount of give and take.”

“Exactly!” Katniss took a sip from her glass and sat back against the pillows of her bed. “You seem like a decent person. Why are you working on a phone sex line?”

“Because I enjoy it,” he told her simply. “Also, this is just an evening job.”

“So, it’s like a stripper at night and paralegal by day kind of thing,” she replied.

The man chuckled. “Kind of. I have a pretty standard office job.”

“Me, too.” Katniss took another sip, her nerves beginning to relax. “So, how do we do this?”

“Let’s start with your name,” he told her.

“Katniss.”

“Katniss,” he repeated.

His voice tightened at the last bit of her name and she straightened at the change of tone.

“Is there something wrong?”

“No, it’s just a very different name,” the man said. “But very pretty. I think I’m going to like saying it into your ear as you come.”

Her nipples immediately tightened at his words. “Oh yeah?”

“Yes.” He laughed roughly. “What pretty little thing are you wearing for me?”

“I knew you were going to ask that, at some point.” Katniss fingered the strap of her nightie. “I’m wearing a black nightie with lace along the top.”

“Sounds lovely,” the man replied. “Tell me; do you feel uncomfortable taking instructions?”

“Depends.” She smiled into receiver. “What are you going to tell me to do?”

“Give me a name,” he told her. “A name that means something to you. A name that turns you on. But I don’t want you to say it until you come.”

“Alright,” she agreed.

There was only one name that Katniss wanted to say.

He, however, was unattainable.

“Close your eyes.” His voice was low, and the timbre instantly electrified her…down there. “I can tell that you’re analyzing every single part of this call…what I must be thinking about you…what I look like—am I right?”

Katniss giggled. “Exactly.” She sighed and closed her eyes. “I closed them.”

“I think that you’re a brave woman who’s taking control of her sexual life.” The man breathed against the receiver and Katniss shivered imagining his warm breath against her ear. “I’m blond, average height, with blue eyes. Imagine me in your mind.”

Katniss took a deep breath, the image of a man forming in her head. She saw him, undoing her favorite red tie, removing his black loafers, before lying next to her.

“I’m playing with the strap of your gown, Katniss…what were you doing before I came home?”

“Drinking wine…imagining what we would be doing once you got home,” she stuttered out. “I’m not good at this.”

“You were doing beautifully,” he assured her. “The tone of your voice…low…grounded…I bet you growl when you’re turned on…and I'd love to make you growl…”

Katniss felt the gush as her core pulsed at his words. She had foregone underwear and could see her arousal gleaming on her inner thighs.

“While you were waiting for me, did you touch yourself?”

Her fingers traced along the opening of her gown. “Yes…”

“Oh fuck—” He groaned into the receiver and the sound traveled straight to her cunt. “I’ve been thinking about you all day. Just thinking about coming home to you made me hard—” There was a grunt on her speaker, and she gasped at the image of him, cock straining through the zipper of his pants. “I had to close the door to my office and stroke myself to the thought of you…”

Katniss mewled into the phone, her hand traveling down between her legs as the other massaged her breast.

“God…”

“That’s right, sweetheart,” he rumbled on the line. “I’m kneeling in front of you, open your cunt for me—”

“What?”

“Take those pretty little fingers of yours and use them to spread your labia, Katniss. I want to see that lovely hole…the one that I’m going to stick my fingers…then my tongue…and finally my cock—”

Behind her eyes, Katniss imagined this mystery man kneeling before her and using her index and middle finger, spread her outer lips apart to his hungry eyes.

“Mmmm…more…” She groaned into the phone. “I want more…please…”

“I got you—” Katniss could hear shifting and wondered if she was actually turning this stranger on. “You’re so wet for me, Katniss. I bet you taste delicious...go on…taste yourself.”

Losing herself in his voice, she lifted her hand to her mouth and stuck her fingers in her mouth.

“I can hear you sucking on your fingers.” He sounded desperate. “What do you taste like?”

She moved her fingers from her lips. “Light…but musky…”

The man moaned into the receiver. “Do you want to fuck me?”

“Yes,” she growled. “I need you inside me.”

Her fingers went back to drenched core, moving along her inner lips, and dancing along her entrance.

“Undo my belt,” he commanded. “I can’t wait anymore, Katniss. I want you to pull out my cock. I want you to rub your cunt against my pants so every time I wear them, I can remember my dick ramming into that soaked hole of yours—fuck!”

Katniss took her fingers, plunging them straight into her core. “UH!” She lost herself in the motion, her hips jerking as she fucked herself—or in her mind, he fucked her—into oblivion. “I’m going to come…”

“Me too, baby,” he moaned. “Touch your clit, make yourself come for me, Katniss…”

Her hand went to her pearl, circling the peaked nerve, and she felt the crest of her climax in sight.

“Don’t forget…” he demanded. “Say my name…say my name when you come—”

Her whole body arched, tensing, before she crashed, and her hips bucked as the white-hot pleasure blinded her.

“FUCK—PEETA!”

She could hear his ragged breaths as her hips landed back on her mattress.

“Oh God…that was amazing.”

“You are amazing,” he breathed, almost tenderly.

“Thank you,” she whispered into the phone. “I thought that maybe my ex was right—that I was a horrible lay. But it wasn’t me. He just never inspired me…or made me want…you did.”

“Katniss?”

Her eyes opened slowly. “Yes?”

“It’s me—” He took a deep breath. “Peeta.”

She snorted. “Yeah, sure.”

“Today is your 25th birthday.” Katniss shot up at his words. “Your office gave you a cake—chocolate with strawberries on top and almonds sprinkled on the sides, along with a bottle of wine.” Her eyes went to the open bottle of pinot. “My office is right across from yours—and I’ve been in love with you since the moment I met you.”

“Peeta…” Her eyes filled. “Two years?”

“Two years,” he confirmed. “Delly told me that you and Cato broke up. I had to take a chance even if it was this.”

“Do you actually work as a phone sex operator?”

“No,” he replied. “Delly made that flier.”

“Damn her and her graphic skills,” she muttered.

“Do you hate me? For lying to you?” Peeta asked carefully. “If you ended up not calling, I was going to ask you out on Monday, but I understand if you never want to speak to me—”

“Peeta.” He stopped. “Would you really do all the things you said over the phone?”

“Fuck yes.”

Katniss laid back against her pillows. She didn’t want to wait till Monday to see him.

So, she told him her address.

FIN.

[chickwiththepurpleguitar]

Hey! I don't know what kind of prompts you write but as I'm now officially a grumpy old woman, please could you write something about a grumpy Bobby? Thank you! x

Happy birthday friend!!! Have some grumpy Bobby, featuring Luke is an Insensitive Dumbass Sometimes, @latinposeidon ‘s JatP timeline that makes Luke a Pisces, and some angst you didn’t necessarily ask for. I hope you like it! This technically takes place in my All Too Well verse cause it vaguely references my Bobby tragic backstory, but you don’t have to have read that to understand this.

--

It takes Luke longer than he’s proud of to realize something’s up with Bobby.

In his defense, Luke’s been a little distracted lately. Tomorrow’s his seventeenth birthday—his first birthday since he left home—and it’s all he’s been able to talk about for weeks now: what he’s gonna do and what he’s gonna eat and (perhaps most importantly) what he’s gonna play (because Bobby is actually the coolest friend and rhythm guitarist ever and somehow managed to get Sunset Curve a gig at this awesome club down by the beach on Luke’s birthday and Luke almost kissed him he was so excited).

Luke’s pretty sure his friends are a little sick of him by now, or at the very least sick of how much he’s been talking about his birthday, but he just can’t stop, for all the same reasons why none of his bandmates verbally call him out on it: it’s his first birthday since he left home, his first birthday without his mom to make his favorite chocolate cake or his dad to gift him cassette tapes he thought Luke might like (meaning they’re terribly out of style), and if Luke doesn’t force himself to be excited about it every minute of every day until it’s over, he’s going to have a complete and total breakdown, so yeah, he’s not gonna shut up until the day after tomorrow, but he’s also not gonna cry, so his friends are just gonna have to deal with it.

(And actually, now that Luke thinks about it, that might be why Bobby got them this gig in the first place. Nothing can distract Luke from his problems like music can. So, yeah, reiterating: best friend and bandmate ever.)

But for now, Luke’s birthday and their next epic gig are still a day away, and Sunset Curve is supposed to be rehearsing, but mostly they’ve just been playing the same song on repeat for an hour because something isn’t working, and it takes Luke way too long to realize it’s Bobby.

“Bro, are you sure you’re tuned right? Something’s off.”

Bobby takes a little too long to react to Luke’s words, his fingers continuing to fumble on his guitar strings after the rest of them have all stopped playing. Finally, he looks up, and Luke is taken aback by how lifeless Bobby’s eyes look, bereft of any of their usual spark.

“Bobby?” Luke prompts when all Bobby does is blink at him. “Focus, dude. Rehearsal? Gig tomorrow? Any of this ringing a bell?”

Bobby scowls—that’s more like it—and tugs forcibly at the tuning pegs of his guitar, grumbling under his breath.

“Thank you,” Luke sighs, shooting Reggie and Alex an exasperated look. Neither of them return it, too busy frowning worriedly at Bobby, but Luke ignores that in favor of lifting his guitar again. “Come on, guys, once more from the top. Count us in, Alex.”

They barely make it through half the song, though, before Luke’s stopping them again, waving a hand and huffing in frustration.

“It’s not the music,” Reggie pipes up before Luke can say anything. “It’s the energy.”

Luke snaps his fingers. “Yes, thank you, Reg. That’s exactly what it is. Bobby! Where’s the energy, man? Wake up! What, do you need some coffee or something?”

“Yeah, or some new friends,” Bobby snaps, and before Luke has been sufficiently slapped in the face by that, Bobby’s got his guitar off and in its stand and he stomps out of the studio, slamming the door behind him with a resounding thud.

Luke, Alex, and Reggie all collectively flinch.

There are a few moments of awkward silence, and then Luke says, “I realize I may have been a bit mean there…”

“Yeah, man, you think?” Reggie says.

“Okay,” Alex sighs. “Go talk to him!”

“Yep, right, on it.” Luke abandons his own guitar and hurries out of the studio.

He doesn’t have to go far. Bobby’s sitting on the little rocky wall next to the driveway, legs hanging down, head in his hands. Luke thinks he might be crying. Or shaking. Luke pauses a few feet away, trying not to show how uncomfortable he feels, and says gently, “Bobby?”

Bobby slowly raises his head, regarding Luke with a dark but hard to read expression. Not crying, Luke’s relieved to see, but the hand that reaches up to shove Bobby’s hair out of his eyes is trembling just enough to be noticeable. Luke frowns, his stomach twisting in concern. He slowly approaches and hops up to sit on the wall next to him.

“Hey, Luke,” Bobby grunts, looking down at his shoes. “Sorry—for sucking today, and for snapping at you. I didn’t—” He shakes his head, frustrated. “I’m just having a weird day, man, I’m—”

“Grumpy?” Luke supplies.

Bobby glares at him, but there’s no heat to it, and a hint of a smirk tugs at his lips. “Tired,” he corrects, rubbing at his forehead with that same shaky hand.

Luke’s concern only grows. He scoots a little closer so that his hip just presses against Bobby’s. “Are you okay? Did you not sleep well last night?”

Bobby lets out a bitter chuckle. “Last night, the night before, have I ever slept well? All good questions. Answer’s always no.”

“Bobby,” Luke murmurs sympathetically. “I’m sorry, man.” He doesn’t know how he’s never noticed, in all his days spent hanging off of Bobby like an extra limb, or all his nights spent climbing through Bobby’s window when he can’t sleep (and really, how did Luke never wonder why Bobby always seemed so ready to meet him at the window, no matter what time it was, always looked so tired and yet wide awake whenever Luke needed him?). Luke feels stupid all of a sudden—stupid and selfish. He nudges his shoulder against Bobby’s, says, “And, hey, man, I’m sorry for being an asshole in there, I was just excited. But it was selfish, and I shouldn’t have been so hard on you.”

Bobby shakes his head, won’t look at him. “Not your fault. Gig tomorrow’s important, I know that.”

“Yeah, but it’s just a gig. There’ll be others. And I know we’re gonna rock it no matter what, so I really need to chill out. I just—you know how it is, man. Tomorrow’s my birthday and—”

“And today’s mine.”

Luke freezes, choking on whatever he’d been about to say next. He stares at Bobby, thinking maybe he misheard him, but Bobby’s got his head ducked toward his lap, and the tips of his ears are turning pink, and he doesn’t correct himself, just lets the words hang there in the air between them until Luke catches up enough to process them.

“Today is your—?” Luke finally sputters, but even just that one question he can’t complete.

“Yeah,” Bobby rasps. “I was held back a year? In middle school. So I’m eighteen. My eighteenth birthday… First one without—”

“Right,” Luke huffs, so that Bobby doesn’t have to say it. “Man, why didn’t you say anything? We could’ve—”

“What?” Bobby cuts him off, finally meeting Luke’s gaze. “We could’ve what, Luke? Celebrated? My parents aren’t even here to celebrate, man. They went to Maui for the weekend. On my eighteenth birthday. Without me.”

Luke winces. “Bobby, I’m—”

“Don’t apologize.” Bobby shakes his head, looks up at the sky for a moment and then back at Luke. “I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to take the attention off of you when you so clearly needed it.”

It takes Luke a second to realize Bobby’s messing with him. When it hits, he laughs, and bumps his shoulder against Bobby’s again, and then hops off the wall. “Come on, birthday boy! Let’s play through the song one more time, and then the guys and I will let you take a nap while we go pick up some cake!”

Bobby’s smile is fondly exasperated, and barely there, as he rolls his eyes and takes Luke’s proffered hand to help him off the wall, but at least it stays painted lightly on his face the whole rest of the day.

--

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[biscuit-buddy]

kuzumochi. (18+)

Endeavor x Reader (Smut, Birthday Fic, 3.1k)

A/N: holy shit guys this got so much longer than expected i’m sorry if it drags at all i just had so much i wanted to get out! Also its 11:22pm so its technically still his birthday. ha. 

What do you get for the man who could already have whatever he wanted at the snap of his fingers? Being the number one pro hero meant that Enji already received truckloads of expensive things, tickets to exclusive events, and the newest technologies simply because of his status. You knew this because everything he received went through you after being thoroughly checked at security. Eight months as his personal secretary offered you a glimpse into his extravagant world and honestly left you with a small bite of bitter jealousy. Some of the things that passed over your desk could pay the rent in your measly apartment for the next year, and you were sure he never gave most of it more than a second glance. 

Your pen tapped lightly against your bottom lip as you stared at the pad of sticky notes on your desk, nothing more than illegible lines, dots, and scribbles covered the top one. With a sigh of frustration, you detach it from the stack, crumple it and toss it in the trash. Today was the first day of August, and the mental countdown to your boss’ birthday plagued your thoughts. While your job was comfortable as is, the cold treatment from the man you worked for grated on your every nerve. You’d think after nearly a year in his employment he’d begin to warm up to you, maybe even bother to remember your name. This was your chance to finally stand out to him if only you could think of something that the hero could possibly want for his birthday. 

As much as he’d probably like a break or a vacation, you were in no position to provide that for him. He obviously didn’t want for anything material either. Does he even have a sweet tooth? You wondered silently as the tapping of your pen resumed against your face. I can’t even imagine a guy like him eating a cupcake. You know what? Actually I can and it’s hilarious. I bet his mustache would burn the frosting and-

“Ahem” Well, speak - or think- of the devil and he shall appear. Endeavor himself stood at your desk with an impatient look on his stern face. The goofy smile you’d been developing at the thought of the massive man eating sweets was quickly wiped off and your back straightened at an uncomfortable pace. 

“Daydreaming on the job?” he asked, but you got the feeling he didn’t really want an answer, so you just bow your head in apology. In an embarrassed mumble, you replied, “Sorry sir, won’t happen again” and he gave a huff in response, not unlike that of a great dragon. You held back another smile at the fleeting thought of smoke puffing out of his nose in discontent, as he handed you a manila envelope stuffed to the brim with some kind of paperwork. 

“I need this hand-delivered to the Hawks Hero Office immediately. This is sensitive information I’m trusting you with.” You gingerly accepted the packet, but couldn’t avoid the brief touch of his massive hand sliding past yours. You noted briefly just how warm they were, though you shouldn’t really be surprised. Courier work isn’t exactly in your job description but lately, you’ve been desperate to suck up anyways, plus some fresh air couldn’t hurt. You stood and gave one more quick bow, “of course sir, I’d be happy to deliver it” He seemed content with your answer and turned to walk through the frosted glass double doors that led into his office without so much as another word. 

Honestly, that had gone better than most of your interactions in the past. Pleased with the slight development in your relationship you gatherers your purse and the envelope and headed for the elevator. Floors passed monotonously as you continued to float gift ideas around in your head, this was looking to be harder than you initially thought. 

Once the lift reached the lobby you made your exit, pushing past a crowd of workers who seemed to just be returning from lunch. They laughed boisterously and made no notice of you squeezing around them. Finally, you made it to the front door of the Endeavor Agency and swiped your employee ID  badge on the terminal next to the front door alerting the system that you had left the building. Fresh warm air tickled your skin as you made your way onto the sidewalk and began the trek to Hawks’ Agency. It wasn’t particularly far, only a few blocks away and the route was dotted with storefronts boasting all kinds of wares from cake to clothes to flowers.

In theory, one of the displays you passed should have given you an idea but once more you found yourself coming up blank as you approached your destination. The young man at the front desk smiled politely when you entered  “Hi there, do you have an appointment?” his eyes flickered between you and the computer screen in front of him. 

“Actually I’m here on delivery for Endeavor” you waved the yellow folder a bit to accentuate your statement “something about sensitive information?” This really wasn’t part of the job you signed up for. Face to face interactions with strangers is so damn awkward. Luckily the receptionist probably dealt with people like you all day and didn’t bat an eye before saying

“Of course, his office is on floor 22 but if he’s not in there, try the roof. I’ll let security know you’re heading up” and he began tapping at the keyboard with one hand while making a ‘go on’ gesture toward the elevator with the other. You thought about boarding but instead made your way to the staircase. I already walked this far, might as well make it a cardio day, and give myself a good excuse to order takeout for dinner. You were truly a genius, maybe it was time to apply at NASA instead of working your ass off for Mr. Hothead. 

Twenty-two floors was a bit more of a workout than you thought it would be, and when you finally arrived at the top you were mildly sweaty cheeks ruddy and more out of breath than you’d like to admit so you take a moment to calm down before opening the doors and walking past the security guard. He gave you a sideways glance but kept his mouth shut as you knocked twice on the office doors. 

The lack of a verbal response clued you into the fact that he was likely on the roof just as the receptionist had said, so you hung a left and let yourself sprint up one more flight of stairs. Once you made it through the door marked ‘rooftop’ you spotted the winged hero perched near the railing. You announced yourself so as not to startle him,

“Excuse me, Mr. Hawks? I’m here on behalf of Endeavor, he asked me to deliver this to you as soon as possible”

He wheeled around at the sound of your voice, and his eyes lit up with amusement at your disheveled appearance. “Hey, thanks! I was kind of expecting the big man himself but you’re certainly a nice surprise” he winked and took the folder from your hands “Nobody told me Endeavor hired such a cutie to be his secretary, ya think I have any chance of poaching you from him?” Despite your earlier thoughts about NASA, you had no intention of leaving your current position so you just laughed. 

“I’m flattered but unfortunately I’ve got some oddly placed sense of loyalty for him” 

“Oh I get it” he cocked an eyebrow “I would too if I was you, the guy’s a size queen’s dream after all. Gotta love the whole naughty secretary dynamic too”

You sputtered at his bluntness “Oh god no nothing like that I-”

“Aw, I’m just teasing kid, how couldn’t I when you come up here looking like that” He gestured to your flustered appearance and you immediately regretting taking the stairs moments ago “Besides, I’d be surprised if you got him to warm up to you enough to remember your name let alone bend you over his desk” He was spot on, you had to sigh at that. 

“You’re right there, I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t even notice if there was an entirely different person sitting at my desk tomorrow” 

“Heh, yeah, sounds like him. But you know, his birthday is coming up maybe a gift will put you in his good graces” another effortless wink was shot your way and despite him being the one with wings, the attention really ruffled your feathers. It’s like he had a secret mind-reading quirk or something. 

“I thought of that, but I have no clue what a guy like him would even want. It’s not like shopping for your mom, where you can just give her a picture frame that says ‘Live Laugh Love’ and she cherishes it forever ya know?” Hawks snorts in amusement at your comparison. You’re right and you’ll defend that if he asks, but he doesn’t. 

“In that case, I’d be willing to let you in on a little secret, some little known Endeavor lore, a true exclusive if you ask me”

“I’m not a tabloid Hawks, just tell me already” this guy messes around a lot for being the number two hero, its an incredibly stark contrast from his only superior.

“Okay, okay, you gotta lean in though, he’d kill me if I leaked something so personal” you lean in closer as instructed and he whispers into your ear, “his favorite food... is kuzumochi” You pull back in visible disappointment. 

“That’s it?”

“Yeah, he goes crazy for the stuff. Honest to god I’ve seen him inhale an entire batch in like five minutes. You want him to notice you? Then this is the best possible way, trust me.” and for some crazy reason you do. This could actually work, if it’s really as much of a secret as the blonde claims, you’d certainly stand out among the other gifts he’s sure to get. 

You thank Hawks and turn to leave with a newfound confidence in this new plan, but not before he makes you promise to tell him how it goes after the big day. As you exit the winged hero’s agency building the work phone you were assigned chimes with a new email letting you know that you can go straight home after the drop-off, and your grin widens. Even better, now you have time to stop at the grocery store on the way home, the decision already made to go big or go home. You were bound and determined to make the kuzumochi from scratch, and it was gonna be the best damn thing your boss had ever tasted. 

*******************************

The rest of the week dragged on in a painfully average way, the only thing keeping your mood afloat was the surprise dish you had been working on every night. You’d gone through multiple test batches, determined to get the flavor and consistency just right. The work paid off on the night of the 7th, just in time when you completed your best batch yet. With a content sigh, you washed your hands and packaged up the kuzumochi like a damn professional. Finally, you were able to take a long hot shower and climb into bed early with the anticipation of tomorrow bubbling in your chest.

Morning came quickly and your daily routine was done with care, then you grabbed the gift and began the short commute to work. Brain on autopilot, it seemed like no time at all until you were seated at your desk and logging in to the company’s computer system. The pristinely packaged gift was nestled into the corner of your desk, waiting for the perfect moment. 

This moment came just before lunch when a mildly scuffed up Endeavor breezed past you in a huff and headed straight into his office. This is it you thought Sure, he’s a little pissy at the moment but this’ll cheer him right up. And with that, you knocked once on the office door and peeked in. The sight of him slumped in the leather office chair in front of the massive floor to ceiling window, eyebrow cocked at your intrusion made your heart jump just a little. How can one man be so damn intimidating? You cleared your throat and began to speak with entirely false confidence.

“Sorry for barging in sir, I just wanted to give you a birthday gift. It’s not much, but I hope you’ll accept it” the whole situation reminded you of confessing to your crush with a box of chocolates in middle school, and it’s funny how some things never truly change. You presented the box to him and to your surprise he actually reached out to take it. 

His scrutinizing glare never let up as he untied the silky ribbon and lifted the lid, but once he recognized the contents his expression shifted quickly to one of surprise. 

“Is this... kuzumochi?” His gaze fell on you and it had nearly physical weight.

“Yes sir, I have it on uhm, good authority that it’s one of your favorites” should you admit that Hawks told you this bit of information? 

“Why?” 

“I’m sorry? Its… well, it’s your birthday, right? I wanted to get you something that would stand out.” It felt silly to admit to his face. 

“And why would you need to stand out, Y/N?” You had to keep your jaw from hitting the floor when he so casually dropped your name, the name you were sure he hadn’t even known. He decided to let you mull over the question as he took a bite of your carefully crafted treat, you could hear a small satisfied hum in his throat and it gave you chills. He beckoned you closer, “it’s delicious, would you like a taste?” when you hesitated he added, “it would be awfully rude to refuse your boss on his birthday, especially after all the trouble you’ve gone to making these”

A heavy step carries you over to his desk, like lead weights attached to your ankles. As you approach he rises out of the chair, a new unreadable look replaced the one of irritation you had been so used to all these months. “Come closer,” he said when you stopped just short of the desk. He’d never spoken to you like this before, and it sent chills down your spine. A few more steps took you around the desk to where he stood, and you barely flinched when he placed a large palm on the side of your jaw, the other held a piece of kuzumochi near your mouth. His intent was clear, he was going to feed it to you by hand. “Open” he commanded softly and you couldn’t deny him if you wanted to, so you complied.

The sweetness melted over your tongue, you truly had outdone yourself here. And once the piece was securely in your mouth, a warm thumb brushed over your bottom lip where his eyes also happened to be resting, completely content in watching you chew and swallow. The intimacy of the situation wasn’t lost on you. You recalled something that Hawks had said about a ‘sexy secretary dynamic’ and once again he was right. When the taste had completely faded from your senses, you looked up to finally meet your boss’ eye. The intensity in them shook you to your very core.

“I’ll ask you again, why do you think you need to stand out?” at this, his hand dropped from your lip down to your waist “Were you hoping for some kind of special attention?” the depth of his voice made your thighs clench, knowing full well where this conversation was heading. He noticed the action and quirked his lips into the faintest smile, one full of mischievous intent. One large step forward for him pushed you back onto the sturdy wooden desk. “I can’t possibly disappoint my favorite little employee then, can I?”

You barely had time to brace your arms behind you before his hand moved over again to res on the top of your thigh, and the one that remained on your jaw guided you into a kiss. It began soft, Endeavor was no fool. He tested the waters, your willingness, before jumping right in. The second you started to kiss back it was full speed ahead. The man was experienced for sure, he knew exactly how to coax your mouth into a dance with his own. Once his tongue pushed into your mouth it was all over for you, you’ve become a slave to the feeling.

All too quickly he broke the kiss, and you had half a mind to whine at the loss of contact. When you opened your eyes you noticed he was leaned over towards the box of kuzumochi that started everything. Odd time for a snack but okay. And when he returned to face you he did have another piece in his mouth, as well as the red ribbon you used to tie it in his hands. Your mouths met once again, this time he pushed the food into yours with his tongue. While you’re distracted with the odd sensation of kissing and eating at the same time you hardly notice the way he pushed both your arms up above your head and deftly tied your wrists together with the ribbon. When he was sure they were secure he let them drop and find a home around the back of his neck.   

You swallow the kuzumochi just as he turns up the intensity, completely claiming your mouth with his own. This time, he pushes you even further back until you’re laid completely flat on the desk. His fingers rake up and down your sides while his hips press against yours. You can feel his growing excitement pushed up against you and the feeling has you nearly moaning. Nearly isn’t good enough got the number one though, and he starts trailing kisses down your jaw and further until he reaches the junction of your neck where he bites and sucks like his life depends on it. This finally brings forth the noise he was chasing, and when you go to cover your mouth from embarrassment is when you finally realize that your wrists are bound. 

Your boss’ attention is directed elsewhere though, as he reaches a hand under your skirt, past you panties, and begins to stroke your folds. You both realized how wet you’ve become at the same time, and now it’s his turn to moan. One large digit enters you as his mouth travels further south, now nipping at your collarbones and chest. Your wrists slip from around his neck and his free hand strokes upwards from your side to push your arms up over your head. Completely exposed to him he continues to ravish your skin and curl his finger in and out of your cunt. Quickly you come undone around his finger and he removes his mouth from you long enough to drag the digit along his own tongue. 

“You’re even sweeter than the kuzumochi, here” he pushes the finger into your mouth and you diligently suck the rest of your juices from it. “Good girl.” The praise itself makes you moan once again. When he’s satisfied with your work he begins to remove his pants and you finally get a glimpse of what you’re working with. You nearly get up and walk out right then, because the man is massive.

“Just relax, I’ll start slow” he reassures and stays true to his word. After a long moment of adjusting he’s fully sheathed inside you and you swear this is what heaven feels like. The moment he begins to move you know you were wrong. If that was heaven you must have finally ascended even further, to wherever gods go when they die. Endeavor fucks you hard and slow against his desk until your eyes are rolling back in your head and you can see every constellation on your eyelids. And when it’s over, you’re shaking like a leaf.

He pulls out, not giving a second glance to the fluids leaking out of you and onto the floor, and begins to untie your wrists. Both of them are red and raw from the friction of the ribbon, and he places a tender kiss on each of the marks. One more kiss on the bruised patch he left on your neck, then he’s hoisting you upwards in a sitting position. Still unsteady but slowly coming back down to earth, you feel a soft tissue wipe at the mess between your legs while a strong hand continues to keep you upright rests at your side. 

When you look up to meet his gaze, your confidence is no longer an act. “Happy birthday,” you say and for once he breaks out a genuine smile that makes him look ten years younger.

As he rests his forehead against yours he replies, “It’s not over yet” but before you can question his meaning the intercom system next to his computer rings and a voice announces “Mr. Hawks is on his way up, sir” and you choke. You did promise you’d tell him how things went.