#I’m not making plans in a ‘golden retriever happy to be here’ way

[obstinaterixatrix]

I’m going to say something that will make some of my pals want to throttle me in confusion but I really don’t consider myself an extrovert

[coquettetoji]

{💌} BF ARMIN HCS

armin as your boyfriend hcs 😁 (fem reader)

— sigh you already know he’s the purest boy on earth so him as a boyfriend?? that’s your husband even in the first 2 weeks

— gets you “just because” flowers at least 2 times a week

— he gives you the dictionary thesaurus encyclopedia definition of PRINCESS TREATMENT.

— he will hold your hand everywhere, kneel down to take your shoes off/put them on for you, knows the side walk rule, sends you $$ without you even asking for any and oh my god he’s just so perfect.

— likes to do your hair for you regardless if your hair is pin straight or super curly, he will learn your exact routine in order to take care of it for you

— you’ll never stop hearing “why do you need to do that when i’m here?” nonstop. even for the stupidest things like getting the remote across the sofa. 😭

— his love language is words of affirmation and acts of service, he’s just always there to help you

— will trail behind you like a lost puppy at all times, literally follows you almost everywhere just in case you ever need him to do something for you

— his whole instagram feed is just you, you and you ** EXHIBIT A

— his follower ratio is also insane i’m saying like maybe 10 following (you and friends + fam) and then a good 60k followers

— most definitely has an “i ❤️ my girlfriend shirt” and wears it proudly with a pretty smile

— in public terms, he’s definitely touchy but not as touchy as when you guys are alone

— holds your hand, guides you with a hand on your lower back, has a hand around your waist, and wants you as close as possible to him in public but keeps it to a minimum

— when you guys are alone however, lord you can never get rid of him >>>

— will whine out a “where are you going? 🙁 i’ll come with you” at 3am when you need to pee.

— his favorite spots to kiss you are on your forehead, and yours cheeks, just because he likes to see your eyes go all dazed and happy when he does

— he does that hot thing where while he kisses you, you can feel the smile start to form on his lips

— his favorite pet names to call you are the typical domestic sweet and cute ones that just make your heart melt: baby, princess, love, pretty girl, calls you a good girl when praising you 😸

— your personal photographer everywhere, he knows to get all the angles and most of the pictures on your ig are taken by armin

— loves hugs, hugs are loved by him and just likes hugs, did i mention he loves hugs?

— does that thing where he hugs you from behind, slowly wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you into his chest esp when you guys are with friends or at parties

— he loves when you run your hands through his hair, he has the fluffiest softest hair ever definitely whimpers when it just feels way too good

— the most soft spoken boyfriend ever, he will never raise his voice at you even when he’s mad or upset (which is rare)

—takes you out on dates often and they’re always the best planned out dates ever (candle lit dinners, picnics

— will hold your heels in one hand after a date where your feet hurt while clutching your hand in the other

— whenever you start talking he sometimes just blanks out staring at you and how pretty you are which then just ends up with him blabbering “mhm’s” and “yeah yeah i get what you’re saying” while being completely zoned out staring at your face

— he always blushes when you show affection towards him first out of nowhere like when he’s talking to you about something and you just reach up and kiss his cheek, he’ll completely lose his train of thought.

— i’ve mentioned this before and i’ll mention it again, he’s a golden retriever boyfriend

— i mean he literally follows you around like a puppy already, he just acts like one in general whenever he’s around you

— he’s definitely a naturally quiet person around people he doesn’t know and kinda reserved but he just falls apart around you with a soft look of fondness in his blue eyes

— i just think of the childhood bestfriend trope when it comes to him or academic rivals

— he takes pride and hangs on to every single compliment you say to him. like throw one “you’re so handsome” at him and he’ll keep it like an id in his pocket

— like if eren said to him, “you’re ugly as fuck” armin will just shrug and smile saying “ _______ doesn’t think so 😁😁” just so smiley god he’s adorable

— in the domestic aspect of armin as your bf, he’s definitely super sweet and just soft with you

— breakfast in bed, cooking for you on the daily, + cleaning the dishes after too, taking care of you when sick

— helps you get dressed when you’re tired, does your hair for you, brushes your teeth for you while softly tilting your chin up between his thumb and pointer finger JUST UGH I NEED HIM SO BAD

— he will get on his knees for you any day of the week 😁 (for anything not just that guys)

— final conclusion and something i think he does that’s really cute

star moments of armin as your bf

★ keeps your hair tie on his left wrist in case you would ever need one

★ gets on his knees to take off your heels or shoes for you

★ never lets you open the car door by yourself and when helping you out or in he always kisses your forehead

★ took it upon himself to memorize every order of food or drink you have and your whole makeup collection to replace it if you ever ran out

★ cried happy tears when you told him you love him for the first time back (he defo told you before you did LMAO)

— overall just the sweetest boy and boyfriend ever 💞💞💞💕💕💓💓💗💗

[rollingsins]

In the name of Taylor Swift

summary: You have to break up with Vada. In the name of Taylor Swift.

pairing: vada cavell x fem!reader

warnings: pure fluff.

word count: 900 words.

a/n: maybe one of the dumber things I've written, but I was in a fluffy mood for bbg Vada. Inspired by tiktok.

“Baby,” You huff dramatically as Vada walks through the door to your bedroom, “I’m glad you’re here. We have to break up.” 

Vada halts. She blinks, her brown eyes widening as her entire face falls. Her hands fall limp by her sides. She’d arrived, not two minutes ago, while you were toiling in bed, thinking seriously. Clutching a twelve inch record in your hands and deciding some things just had to be done. 

“What?” She asks, sounding crestfallen, “But I got you flowers.”

She gestures to the stack of lilies she has in hand. She looks wounded, confused, hurt. Like a little puppy you’ve just kicked in the face. 

Immediately, you sit up, heart falling. 

“No, babe,” You retract, reaching out to her. She blinks back at you, eyes as wide as chocolate buttons, “I wasn’t being serious.  Not a real breakup. A fake breakup. A fake-up.” 

Now, she’s confused. Her eyebrows knit together as you watch as she tries to work it out. 

“A fakeup?” She repeats, blinking slowly, “Why?” 

You tilt your head back to reveal your latest purchase. A shiny, purple vinyl of Taylor Swift’s latest record. 

“Taylor Swift just released an album and I need to experience it in full.” You say, quite seriously. You are serious when it comes to Taylor Swift. You’d thought Vada would know this by now. 

Vada stares. 

Your lips purse into a coo as you pry the lilies from her hand. 

“You got me flowers?” You say, rubbing your hand over her cheek, “That’s so sweet.” 

She smiles, a little shy. 

“Yeah. The lilies you like.” She says, and then she frowns again, “But I’m confused. Why does Taylor Swift mean we have to fake break up?”

“Because I need to be sad, babe,” You explain as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world, “I need to feel pain the way she felt pain when she wrote these songs.”

“Doesn’t she have a nice song?” Vada asks, a little dubious. 

“No,” You say immediately, “I mean, yes, but I’m saving those ones for when we get back together.” 

“But we’re not apart.” Says Vada, still confused. 

You can’t resist. You lean down and press a kiss to the pout on her lips. 

“We are as of now.” You tell her. You exhale, close your eyes and try to think of Vada breaking up with you. A sharp pain flashes through your chest. You imagine her looking mournful as she does it. Stuttering over her words. Looking almost embarrassed as she tells you she never wants to see you again. 

It works, for a split second.

And then you open your eyes. 

She’s staring back at you, looking sweet as ever. Tilts her head like a confused puppy. 

“Say something mean,” You prompt.

She frowns. 

“No,” She says, “I don’t want to.”

“Babe,” You groan, “I need you to make me sad.” 

“I don’t want to make you sad,” She says. She leans into you and wraps her arms around your waist, snuggling into your chest, “I want you to be happy all the time.” 

You groan. In all your grand-scheming plans, you’d forgotten you were dating a literal ray of sunshine. A golden retriever of a girlfriend who’d never gotten mad at you, or said nasty things about you, or even had a bad thought about you in her life. 

But you need this. 

“Please?” You ask, smoothing down her dark hair to look into her eyes, “For me?” 

Vada frowns. She’d do anything you ask, this you know. And it's hardly a big ask. All she’d have to do is tell you she never wants to see you again and you’d cry and listen to ‘Last Kiss’ and pretend as if your entire world is crumbling. 

And then have vigorous make-up sex to ‘Sparks Fly’. A win-win, truly. A rollercoaster of emotions.  

You squeeze her shoulders in encouragement. 

“Okay,” Vada says, sounding resigned. Her eyebrows knit like she’s thinking hard, “I… don’t like your shoes.” 

At this, you snort. 

“You don’t like my shoes?” You ask, “That’s the meanest thing you could think of?” 

She looks up at you, pout still on her lips. 

“Yeah,” She says. She curls back into your chest, “Because you’re perfect and there’s nothing mean to say about you.”

She pauses. 

“And I actually do like your shoes,” She mumbles into your chest, “I’d steal them if we were the same size.” 

You sigh, wrapping your arm around her shoulders and lean down to kiss her head. 

“How am I supposed to listen to the album when you’re being so sweet?” You grumble. 

“We could listen to the nice songs together?” Vada pitches with a happy smile. And then her lips curl into a coy smile, “And then we could listen to the naughty songs and make out.” 

“There’s no naughty songs, babe, it’s Taylor Swift.” You say with a laugh. 

“Oh,” She looks a little disappointed, “Well, maybe we could make out to the sad songs and pretend like we just got back together?” 

You hum. 

Making out with Vada does sound a lot better than fake breaking up with her. She emphasizes her point with a kiss to your chest. 

“Fine.” You relent, leaning down to press your lips to hers. 

She sighs, happily, curling her hand against the back of your neck to pull you closer. 

“I hope you can rest easy knowing I’ll never experience the blood-curling pain Taylor Swift felt writing ‘Dear John’.” You grumble against her lips. 

She pulls back, a smile on her lips, “Good,” She says, “And you never will. I promise.”

[fleming-o]

Her home

Jessie Fleming x Reader

just had this saved up in my drafts for a while now thought i’d post it

i’m bored recently sooo send some requests

around 3k words

Meeting jessie’s mom for the first time

---

The drive back from the airport feels longer than it should, even with the sun dipping low on the horizon, painting the sky in soft hues of pink and orange. You stare out the window, watching the familiar scenery of Ontario roll by—the tall trees lining the highways, the scattered small towns, and the occasional lake sparkling under the evening light. Jessie’s hand rests on the steering wheel, her other one occasionally reaching over to squeeze your knee in a silent reassurance. It’s a gesture you’ve grown used to, the way she always seems to know when your thoughts start to spiral.

The Olympics were... not what either of you expected. Both your teams didn’t make it past the group stage, and it felt like a harsh punch to the gut. Weeks of anticipation and hard work came crashing down too quickly, and now all that’s left are the long flights home and the sting of regret. The past few days have been a blur of disappointment—watching Jessie put on a brave face, trying to be strong even when you knew it was tearing her up inside.

“You want to stop somewhere for food?” Jessie asks, glancing over at you. Her voice breaks the silence, and you turn to see her tired smile. She’s trying to keep the mood light, but you can tell the weight of it all still lingers in her eyes.

You shake your head. “I’m good... just kind of want to get there, you know?”

Jessie nods, understanding. “Yeah, me too.” There’s a moment of silence before she adds, “I think Mom’s got dinner planned. She’s been texting me all day.”

You can’t help but smile at that. Jessie’s mom seems like the type who always has something cooking, always making sure everyone’s fed and happy. It’s a stark contrast to what you grew up with, and the thought of it makes your chest tighten a little.

As Jessie pulls into the driveway of her childhood home, the soft glow of the porch light welcomes you. It’s a modest house, not overly big or flashy, but there’s something warm about it. Flowers line the pathway leading up to the door, and you can see little trinkets and wind chimes hanging from the porch roof, swaying gently in the breeze. The house feels like it’s been lived in, loved—full of memories that have settled into every corner.

Jessie turns off the car, and the two of you sit in the quiet for a moment, neither of you quite ready to break the stillness. You can feel your nerves bubbling up, the anxious twist in your stomach making it hard to sit still.

“Hey,” Jessie says softly, reaching out to tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “You don’t have to be nervous. They’re going to love you.”

You nod, trying to take in her words, but there’s a part of you that can’t help the worry. You’ve never really done the whole “meet the parents” thing before, not like this. And Jessie’s family—they seem so together, so much like what you always wished you had growing up. It’s hard not to feel out of place.

Before you can respond, the front door swings open, and a golden retriever bounds out onto the porch, her tail wagging so furiously it’s almost a blur. She rushes over to Jessie first, jumping up to greet her with happy whines, then turns her attention to you, tilting her head in curious inspection. Jessie laughs, giving the dog a good scratch behind the ears. “This is Ruby,” she says, her tone affectionate. “She’s kind of the welcoming committee.”

You kneel down, feeling Ruby’s soft fur as she presses her head against your hand. There’s something immediately comforting about her; she’s warm and eager, her body language so clearly saying that you’re welcome here. It’s easy, uncomplicated affection, and it makes you smile even though your nerves haven’t completely settled.

Jessie’s mom steps out next, her face lighting up as she sees you both. She’s got the same kind of warm energy that Jessie has—like being around her feels safe. She comes down the steps, wrapping Jessie in a tight hug before turning to you with a smile that makes your heart twist. It’s the kind of smile that says she’s genuinely happy to meet you, and you can’t help but feel a little overwhelmed by it.

“You must be the famous girlfriend I’ve heard so much about,” Jessie’s mom says, pulling you into a hug that’s gentle but firm, like she’s pulling you into a circle you didn’t even realize you needed. “I’m Michaele , but you can call me Mom if you want. Jessie’s been talking about you nonstop.”

You feel your face warm, a mix of nerves and something like gratitude swelling in your chest. “It’s really nice to meet you,” you say, your voice coming out a little quieter than you intended. You’ve never been the type to feel at home right away, but there’s something different here—something that makes you want to try.

Inside, the house is exactly what you’d expect from Jessie’s family. It’s cozy and lived-in, with mismatched furniture and walls lined with photos. You can see pictures of Jessie everywhere—from when she was a little girl in a soccer uniform to more recent ones, like her Olympic moments captured in frames. The kitchen smells like roasted chicken and herbs, and it’s hard not to be struck by how it all feels. It’s a home in every sense of the word, filled with memories and love. For a moment, you can’t help but feel out of place—like you’ve stepped into a world you don’t quite belong in.

Dinner is a casual affair, and you find yourself seated at a table that’s cluttered with mismatched plates and glasses. Michaele serves up the food, and there’s an easy rhythm to it all—Jessie’s mom making sure everyone has enough, Ruby circling the table for scraps, Jessie slipping you reassuring glances every now and then. The conversation flows around you, light and full of gentle teasing between Jessie and her mom. You try to keep up, but there’s an ache in your chest that you can’t quite shake.

It’s strange, being surrounded by so much warmth. You’re used to empty dinners, to nights where food was something you had to scrape together yourself, where silence filled the air like a heavy fog. Being here, with Jessie’s family, feels like stepping into a dream you never quite dared to have.

“So, how was the flight?” Michaele asks, breaking into your thoughts.

Jessie laughs, shaking her head. “Long. And exhausting. I think we’re both ready to just crash.”

Michaele nods sympathetically, glancing over at you. “I’m so sorry you didn’t make it further. We were all rooting for you both. But you know, there’s always another chance.”

You try to smile, but it feels a little forced. “Yeah, maybe next time.” The words taste bitter on your tongue, and you look down at your plate, feeling the familiar sting of disappointment. The Olympics were supposed to be your moment, your chance to prove yourself, and it feels like you let it all slip away.

Jessie reaches under the table, her fingers finding yours and giving a gentle squeeze. It’s a small gesture, but it grounds you, pulls you back from the edge of your thoughts. “We’re both just glad to be home,” she says, her voice soft and reassuring. “And glad we get to spend time with you guys.”

After dinner, Jessie takes you up to her old bedroom. It’s small, but it’s unmistakably hers, with posters of soccer players plastered on the walls and a string of fairy lights that she flicks on as soon as you step inside. Ruby jumps onto the bed, circling around a few times before settling in at the foot, her tail thumping against the blankets.

You stand in the doorway for a moment, taking it all in. Jessie’s room is a reflection of her—simple, comforting, and filled with little touches that make it hers. It’s hard not to feel the sting of what you never had, the bedrooms that never felt like home, the lack of little touches that made you feel like you belonged somewhere.

Jessie watches you, her expression softening as she sees the emotions flicker across your face. She steps closer, wrapping her arms around your waist and pulling you against her. “Hey,” she murmurs, her voice low. “You’re okay. You’re here, and that’s what matters.”

You lean into her, burying your face in her shoulder as you let the emotions wash over you. There’s a sadness there, a longing for something you never had but always wanted. Jessie’s family feels like the kind of warmth you’ve spent your whole life looking for, and it’s hard to believe you’re allowed to be part of it, even just for tonight.

“I never had anything like this,” you admit quietly, your voice thick with unshed tears. “It’s just... really nice.”

Jessie pulls back just enough to look at you, her eyes filled with understanding. “You’re part of this now, you know? My family... they’re yours too, if you want them.”

The words hit you hard, and you nod, swallowing back the lump in your throat. Jessie’s always been good at knowing what to say, at making you feel like you belong, even when you’re not sure you do. You find comfort in her embrace, in the way she holds you like she’s never letting go.

The two of you climb into bed, and Ruby snuggles between you, her warmth a welcome comfort. Jessie’s room is dimly lit, the soft glow of the fairy lights casting a warm hue across the walls. It feels like a small pocket of peace, a sanctuary away from all the chaos and pressure that’s been weighing on you both.

Jessie traces slow, gentle patterns on your back, her touch lulling you into a sense of calm you haven’t felt in days. “I know it’s been rough,” she whispers, her voice barely audible in the quiet. “But we’ve got each other. That’s all that matters.”

You nod against her, feeling the truth of her words sink in. It’s not perfect, and it never will be. But in this moment, lying in Jessie’s old bedroom with her arms around you and Ruby snuggled at your side, it feels like enough.

---

[oliwrites]

Best Husband Ever.

pairing: loki x fem!reader

genre: fluff and smut

summary: you ask loki for something you’ve always wanted, but instead loki says no, but he does have something special planned

warnings: smut 18+!! (minors and pearl clutchers can leave!!!), oral sex (f!receiving), implied piv, established relationship, DOGGIES, really cute stuff tbh

word count: 2.6k

A/N: THIS GIF MAKES ME CACKLE SO HARD

“Oh, Lokiiiii,” You called out for your husband as you padded your feet down the hardwood floors of your shared home. You held your phone in your hand and what displayed on the screen was something that you knew would probably be an immediate no, but it doesn’t hurt to try, right?

“Yes, my life?” You heard Loki reply from your shared bedroom. You swiftly finished your walk down the hall and leaned into the doorframe entering the room and stared at Loki with a mischievous glint in your eyes that Loki did not miss, “Oh no, what do you want?” Loki added on, placing the book he was reading on the bedside table beside him.

“Pfft— Whattt… I don’t want anything,” You lied with a big smile on your face, as you approached your husband who sat gracefully on the bed. Loki obviously did not believe that statement for one second, but still opened his arms, signaling you to crawl on top of him.

You obliged, crawling up the bed and straddling his hips and wrapping your arms around his neck, your phone now pressing into his scapula. You placed a kiss on his nose and smiled once again.

“If you wanna ask me for something, you should probably start giving me a real kiss, not a mere peck on my nose, my little dove,” Loki smiled, his hands finding their way to your hips and just resting there. You giggled and pulled him into a kiss on the lips.

As you tried to pull away, Loki’s hand moved from your hip to the back of your neck, keeping you against him. You smiled into the kiss as he did this, obviously showing off his neediness. Loki took this opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth, kissing you more fiercely.

The hand that still remained on your hip slipped up underneath the shirt you were wearing, gliding his fingertips across the cool skin that lay beneath the shirt.

The kiss continued along for a little longer until Loki felt a short buzz against the back of his shoulder. Loki pulled away panting, before he remembered that you came in here for something and that something was probably on your phone that laid on his scapula right now.

“Now tell me what it is that you want,” Loki smiled, kissing your cheek as your little smirk reappeared on your face.

“Soooo… I was on TikTok today, right? Well, I came across this video with a bunch of cute and funny videos of different dogs and I just looked up different rescue shelters near by, just for fun, of course, and I found this realllyyyy cute Golden Retriever named Sadie,” You explained quickly, finally showing your husband what is up on the screen of your phone right now.

The picture was of a Golden Retriever laying in a sunflower field that was taken by the shelter. Sadie has a dopey yet happy look on her face, but she still looked really thin, you could see her rib cage.

“Darling, I know not if we will even have time to watch over her. I’m sorry, my love, but it’s a no for now,” Loki said solemnly, kissing your nose. He couldn’t help but feel his heart hurt when he saw a look of sadness across your face.

“It’s okay, Lo… I figured I would ask. I just hope Sadie finds a good home that’ll treat her well,” You said with a sad tone in your voice.

**

Around 2 weeks later, it was your birthday. You didn’t really want to do anything for your birthday besides relax with your husband in bed all day. Tony gave you permission to take off of work for today, since today was a ‘special day’ according to Pepper.

With that said, you decided to sleep in as much as possible, at least, until you woke up with the feeling of intrusion just beneath the blankets that hung low on your hips. You let out a moan of pleasure as the intrusion was, in reality, Loki’s fingers pumping in and out of you rapidly.

“Fuck… Loki…” You moaned out in a raspy morning voice, bucking your hips against his fingers and his face. He swirled his tongue around your clit before coming up from beneath the sheets, stilling his fingers inside of you.

“Good morning, birthday girl,” Loki smirked, kissing just below your navel, continuing the movements of his fingers, causing you to moan out and arch your back, “let me give you my gifts for today,” Loki whispered once more before diving beneath the sheets once more, licking and slurping at your dripping core. The sounds he made were lewd, which only turned you on so much more.

His fingers prodded that one spot deep inside you that caused you to let out a guttural moan. Your hand dove beneath the sheets and gripped onto his inky black hair, causing him to groan into your soaked cunt which sent vibrations throughout your body, bringing you closer to the edge.

“Loki! Fuck! M’close! Please!” You screamed out towards the plastered ceilings of your shared bedroom. Loki pounded his fingers into you, humming and sucking against your clit, which caused you to gush all over him.

Your orgasm hit you in waves as chills went up your spine in the most euphoric way possible. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head and you pulled on Loki’s hair, holding on for dear life, all while Loki worked you through your high.

Once you came down from it, you flipped up the covers, revealing your husband looking up at you with his emerald green eyes, still seated between your thighs. You gave him a crooked smile as he crawled up your bare body.

“Happy Birthday, my sweet,” Loki cooed, giving you a passionate kiss, allowing you to taste yourself on his tongue. You moaned into his mouth as you felt his cock harden and press against you, “Meet me downstairs when you’re ready, I have more for you,” Loki smiled, shimmying toward the edge of the bed, but you grabbed him just before he could leave you.

“My love, stay… you’re hard,” you pleaded, intertwining your hand with his.

“I know I am, but today is about you, not me,” Loki replied, kissing your knuckles.

“Well… I want you to stay and fuck me. I want to cum with you. If today is about me, then you’ll do anything I want, and this is what I want,” you smirked, pulling him towards you.

“I won’t deny such a request from my beautiful birthday girl,” Loki replied, smirking wickedly before he pounced.

**

You sauntered down the hall and down the stairs, wearing a pair of lace panties and one of Loki’s dress shirts.

You entered the kitchen, observing your husband, who was currently making breakfast. Your favorite breakfast. He was making waffles with whipped cream, chocolate syrup, and strawberries.

Your eyes moved from the plates he was setting the food up on towards his bare back. The muscles flexed and moved around as he moved the freshly made waffle from the waffle maker to the glass plate.

Your eyes wandered lower as you looked at the black sweatpants he wore that hung low on his hips. You couldn’t deny how fine his ass looked in them.

You sauntered over to him and gave him a slap on the ass, causing him to jump at the sudden action, but quickly relaxed when he felt your arms around his waist as you laid your head on his back.

“I made your favorite breakfast, sit down, my love, I’ll bring it to you,” Loki sighed dreamily, you nodded against his back and walked to the kitchen island, which had bar stools placed right beside it.

Loki brought both of your plates over and you guys ate together. He finished before you, taking his dishes to the sink and leaned against the counter across from the island and just stared at you.

“May I help you, Mr. Laufeyson?” You asked after swallowing the food in your mouth.

“Just admiring my beautiful wife, Mrs. Laufeyson,” Loki replied with a smile, causing you to smile as well.

You continued to eat until your plate was empty, but before you could get up to add your dishes to the sink, Loki took them from your reach and placed them in the sink as well.

“I know you said you didn’t want me to get you anything for your birthday, but…” Loki started.

“Loki, are you kidding me?” You asked, crossing your arms, raising an eyebrow.

“But, darling, I think you’ll really enjoy what I got you for your birthday. I promise it’s only one thing,” Loki smiled. You scoffed, as he left to retrieve his gift.

He came back down the stairs, holding a medium sized box that was wrapped in dark green wrapping paper and a gold bow to top it off.

“Open it,” he smiled, almost bouncing up and down in excitement. You laughed, playfully rolling your eyes before ripping open the wrapping paper and opening the box to reveal what was inside.

It was a collar.

Not just any collar though.

The collar was dark green with golden emblems sewed delicately into the fabric of the collar. There was a simple black clip in the back, and a paw-shaped tag on the front that read the word ‘Sadie’ on it.

Your mouth dropped to the ground as your eyes began to fill up with tears. You looked to your husband who was giving you a beaming smile as he watched your reaction.

“Where is she?” You asked, standing up from the bar stool. Loki excused himself once more before coming back from the back door with Sadie.

She was the most beautiful Golden Retriever you have ever seen. Sure, she was skinny, but you would certainly fatten her up real easy. Her golden brown eyes shone in the natural light in the room as she panted with her tongue hanging out lazily.

“Loki! I love you so much!” You squealed, running up to your husband, kissing him affectionately. He easily returned the kiss, placing his hands on your hips. You pulled away from him, “how did you even get her? She was listed 2 weeks ago, and people normally snatch purebred goldies real quick,” You asked, looking up at those green eyes you fell in love with.

“Well…”

~ Loki’s POV: 2 weeks prior ~

“Oh, Lokiiiii,” I heard my wife call from the end of the hallway that leads to our room. I looked up from the book I was reading and replied.

“Yes, my life?” I replied, looking at the doorway with the door that hung open, as I felt I didn’t need to close doors anymore.

A few seconds later, my beautiful wife appeared at the door frame, gazing at me with love, and… was that mischief? What is she up to?

“Oh no, what do you want?” I asked partially jokingly, placing the book on my lap on the bedside table next to our bed.

“Pfft— Whattt… I don’t want anything,” She replied, obviously lying, as she approached me. I opened my arms, allowing her to come to me. She got the message and straddled my lap and wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed my nose.

“If you wanna ask me for something, you should probably start giving me a real kiss, not a mere peck on my nose, my little dove,” I laughed. Seeing my little dove smile back at me made my heart flutter, she was truly the most amazing woman ever.

She easily listened and kissed me passionately. I furthered the kiss when she smiled into the kiss by slipping my tongue in. Without thought, my hands started wandering her body, my temple, as I like to call her.

Our kiss was soon disrupted by a buzz against the back of my shoulder. I frowned and pulled away, now remembering that she wanted something.

“Now tell me what it is that you want,” I smiled, kissing her cheek as her smirk reappeared on her flawless face.

She rambled on and on about how she was on TikTok and now she found herself on a website with dogs and how she wants to adopt one. I feigned a frown and denied her request for a dog, but only after I read the website name and mentally took note of it.

Later that night, after I fucked put my darling girl to sleep, I grabbed my phone and looked up the website, pulling up the profile Sadie had and called the number linked to it.

“Hello! Thank you for calling, may I help you?” The woman said on the other side of the phone.

“Hi, yes, I would like to adopt Sadie,” I almost whispered as I entered the en-suite bathroom.

“Okay, sir. But there is a list of people that also want Sadie, so if they all don’t answer then you’ll get her, obviously you’ll still have to pay and what not but y’know,” The lady chirped as I heard her typing into a keyboard.

“Look, I will pay you an extra $1000 if you skip the list and just give her straight to me. This is for my darling wife. She uhm…” I stopped, thinking up a quick lie, “we just recently put down our last dog, and my darling has been in bed for weeks because of it. I really need Sadie and so does she,” I lied, trying to sound like I was on the verge of tears.

“I’m sorry, sir. However, there is a protocol that we follow, so it’s fair for everyone,” the lady replied.

After a little more convincing and bribing, the lady agreed and gave me an appointment to visit Sadie to see if she’s the one I want.

**

“My darling love, I am going to the store, is there anything I can get you?” I asked, putting my loafers on as my wife sat behind me in bed.

“Could you get ice cream? I wanna eat ice cream and have a movie marathon with you tonight,” She mumbled sleepily. I smiled at her request and nodded.

I left and headed to the appointment to get Sadie.

~ Your POV: present day ~

“Oh Loki, you’re so sweet,” You smiled, kissing him once more before kneeling down and meeting the Golden Retriever that was now your best girl.

“Oh and one more thing,” Loki said, looking down at you as you played with Sadie’s floppy ears, “I gave her an enchantment that expands her lifetime so that they match up to ours,” Loki explained. You stopped and looked up at him.

“I’m so giving you a blowjob later,”

**

the way my tiktok fyp is literally all dogs rn and i’m not complaining

[throneofsapphics]

Can you write a Manon Drabble

Just grumpy Manon only having soft spot for her sensitive golden retriever gf

pine trees and storm clouds

Manon x Reader

Summary: Manon’s busy in meetings, and you take up the task of decorating for yulemas. 

Warnings: none 

A/N: thank you for the request! apparently i’m in the holiday spirit tonight  

Manon had that look on her face, the one that told you she was currently praying to the three-faced-goddess, or planning murder. 

Either way, it could make for an interesting day, one you wouldn’t be there to witness - given she had negotiations all day, and would be stuck in one of the many conference rooms. You pitied whoever was stuck in there with her. 

Right now, you were more concerned with the yulemas decorations. There were next to none, and in your opinion that was completely unacceptable. So, you set out to find some yourself. 

The sun was shining as you weaved around the crowds, moving from stall to stall, picking out whatever felt right. 

But, the weather quickly deteriorating, given the storm clouds on the horizon. Even the vendors at the market knew it, and they started wrapping up their wares. You frowned at the bag in your left hand, full - but not enough for the entire castle. Maybe you’d have to do this in batches. 

Scanning the rest of the area, you spotted your final victim, a man selling pine trees. Large branches of pine scattered, definitely from him thinning out some of the merchandise. That would be perfect, you could find some way to tie them together and weave them through the banisters or shove into stone crevices. The scent would be beautiful too. 

He was happy to get rid of them, selling them to you for a few coppers, even giving you a tarp to wrap them up in, and you hoisted it over your shoulder. 

-

“Who the fuck dragged pine trees through the damned castle?” Manon hissed to herself, tearing down the hallway. You pressed yourself into a small alcove, glancing down at your hands - currently coated in pine sap. Just a few minutes ago, you’d thrown the last decoration up. What were the odds she’d walk directly past you? 

Highly unlikely. 

She stopped a few feet away, head lifting and tilting. An assessing gaze that had your body tensing on instinct. Of course, she’d never do anything to hurt you, but the look in her eyes set any reasonable person at least a little on edge. 

Not unlike a cat, she stalked forward, stopping just before your hiding spot. Sighing, you stepped out towards her. She glanced down at your hands, then up at your face. Burnt gold eyes crinkled, the barest hint of amusement showing through. 

“Having fun?” 

“Without you?” You pressed a hand to your chest, “never.” 

Glancing down, you frowned at the sticky material now attached to the front of your shirt, and wiped off as much as you could on the stone wall behind you. Her eyes rolled, but she stepped inside with you. It was a tight fit, but just enough space for the two of you. 

“Do you know how many pine needles are scattered across the floor?” 

“It’s festive,” you insisted. Even though they weren’t exactly intended, you would’ve cleaned those up at some point. 

“It’s -,” she seemed to think better of whatever insult was on the tip of her tongue. “I should make you clean them up.” 

Closing the small distance, you slid your arms around her waist, turning your head to press against her chest, letting her heartbeat thunder in your ears. A large inhale, and you breathed in that scent that was uniquely her. Like the sky right before a storm, accented with some kind of spice. Maybe you’d have to infiltrate the kitchens one night to figure out what exactly that was. 

After a brief pause, she wound her arms around you, holding you tight against her. Here, away from the public eye, she’d show her soft side. Something just for you, and you’d do anything you could to preserve it, to linger in these sweet moments. 

“It makes me happy,” you murmured, tilting your head up to meet her eyes. Her mouth indented, like a comma, the closest to a grin anyone could get out of her. A grin that didn’t mean danger. That’s how you knew you had her, and sure enough she sighed in fake annoyance. The decorations would stay. 

[bitchlessdino]

TPC: Seokmin's professional party hosting

Full series

Pairing: boyfie!seokmin x afab!reader

Genre: smut

Word count: 2.2k

tags: mentions of alcohol, reader with breasts, fondling of breasts, massages, neck kisses, face sitting, oral

Summary: A party host's work is never done, even with seokmin's help, and trust me, he's helping a lot.

author note: wrote this horny and on my period i need sex read bad

@iwouldbangchan @1uvlywon @just-here-to-read-01 @candidupped @minnie-mouser22

“Where the hell is Joshua with the beer? He should’ve been here an hour ago!”

You knew better than to trust your friend that admitted to going to a party the previous night before, but Joshua couldn’t have been this stupid. Oh, but he was.

It was a party, no big deal right? Wrong.

It was your party and you were hosting it along with your boyfriend and sibling who left to god knows where. You wanted to prove to other people and yourself that you can be more than a boring college student stuck in the history section of the library (but in your defense what was wrong with that if you were)? Fuck the one demensional mindset of the common college tropes that only really exist in YA novels and poorly written fanfiction.

You expel a frustrated breath out of your lungs and chug the cola in your solo cup, completely emptying it out to pour yourself another full one. Seokmin comes to your side reassuringly, taking care of his significant before they have a complete public freak out when things aren’t going their way by taking your non-cola-chugging hand and stroking the back of it with his thumb. If he could, he’d plan the event all by himself to spare you the unnecessary stress and elevated blood pressure but knowing you, you’d never let him.

“Everything is and will be fine. We still have a couple of cases ‘borrowed’ from Seungcheol’s party yesterday, and everyone is enjoying themselves. Let’s just do the same.”

Easy for him to say. Seokmin could have a good time anywhere. He was the light of every goddamn public event. Bouncing around every corner of every room like a golden retriever yoga ball concoction. You were the complete opposite, pessimistic at every given point, while he exuded a happy easy-going spirit. Maybe that’s why you like him so much. He makes things easy, or at least sounded easy, that you convinced yourself with him around it’d be just that. 

Unlikely because now you were scanning the room for any faces of resentment, broken furniture, and possibly Joshua at the front door with that goddamn beer already. You’re grumbling to yourself thinking maybe you should’ve assigned all the tasks to yourself, at least you can promise yourself you’d get it done. Some things were better off done by yourself, you’d say. Never trust a dumb frat boy to get party supplies, you remind yourself. They’re only thinking of themselves. He better be caught in a ditch somewhere or you’ll have his guitar-playing head ass on a stick.

You were not the only one to hear your bitter ramble amongst the unaware 20-something crowd and he’s forced to tug you away from the center of the room. You take notice and nudge back at him in annoyed confusion, quietly protesting in whispers, not trying to cause a scene, “Seokmin, what–”

“I’m getting you out of there you need a break.”

The clusters of party guests become a blur as he pushes past several shoulders and reaches your room at the end of a sparse hallway. The moment the door opens it’s shut once it’s clear you're alone in the comfort of your thoughts. Seokmin exhales in relief, padding away to your bed where he pushes you down in a sitting position.

You shut your eyes, running your brows in a furrow, and dramatically sighing for him to understand the predicament he’s putting you in. “Why are we here? We’re hosting remember?”

He takes a seat beside you, pulling you closer to the center of the mattress, and places himself behind you, hands coming down on your shoulders in a firm yet reassuring squeeze. “Just take a breather, you need this.”

“Should I? Every second I’m in here, it’s every second I’m not out there. Who knows what kind of shit could they be…” you sputter a breath of numbingly good relief as Seokmin worked in your knots, the balls of his palms digging to your back as if he’s kneading dough, “fucking…up…”

“That’s right, relax. That’s what I’m here for.” He presses kisses against the apples of your cheeks and slowly, sweetly trails down to the base of your neck. “Clear…your…mind.”

His kiss leaves a hot trail of awareness on every patch of skin he makes contact with. Your head falls back in savoring it, a low hum vibrating throughout your throat and leaking out the small crack of your lips. Your eyes shuttering to a close and your shoulders slumping, you focus on the warmth Seokmin radiates onto you that only enhances the relief he’s spreading to your sore, tired limbs. You nod your head in a daze, physically melting into a puddle.

“Mmm, better?”

You hum in confirmation, feeling more than just your muscles loosen. Your once clenched legs part from one another and you feel the threat of your arousal as it makes it past your folds, staining your underwear. You would stop him at this point before it went too far knowing about the hordes of people behind that very door, but his hands felt magical, and in no way did you want it to end.

“Mmm, Seokmin…”

The kind man smiles against your skin, letting his teeth graze your neck and let his hands fall to roam against your sides, still placing pressure, digging his digits hard into your flesh. His teeth climb up and up, reaching your ear lobe, a exhale leaving his nostrils that pebble goosebumps on your arms and neck. “You’ve worked so hard for weeks. You need a reminder that you should be enjoying this party too.”

You gasp as his tongue licks a patch of skin and his hands come together up the front of your chest, handfuls of your breasts in his hands with the fabric of your clothes and bra as a barrier. His deep chuckles burn your skin, collecting you in his heavy-handed grasp, collecting bundles of your flesh like he means to massage the entirety of your body. No inch of your body would go untouched. “Shouldn’t we be outside for that to work…?”

You were aware you were slurring your words, but Seokmin being the expert easily translates the jumble in his head and he pressed his firm chest deeper against your back to the point to can trace the outline of every nipple, every pec, every muscle packed ab in the lean yet toned fixture of his torso. “I can’t be in public for what’s about to transpire in this bedroom unless that’s what you’re looking forward to?”

“Seokmin!” you exclaim, turning your head but he captures his lips the moment you do, swallowing the moan that impulsively escapes you. He pushes you into the cushion of the sheets and freely holds you, embraces you, and touches you, anywhere he wanted to.

He licks your bottom lip, squeezing it between his lips, and with squeeze the cups the curve of your ass, and he’s able to taste the coke zero you decided to drink instead of alcohol on your tongue. Your fingers curl up his hair, panting against his mouth, deepening the kiss as his hips meet yours in a blind horny haze.

“Should I make you relax? Should I do the thing you like?”

You whimper hearing his offer and your sex-filled head soars great heights at thought of it. The dark shift of his eyes, his hair was a sexy ragged mess, and his arms–god his arms–bulging as they flex in view. The image had you grinding up into his erection, your back coming up in a perfect arch, and before your logical tendencies came up, you’re whispering anguished, “Yes, god yes…”

He smiles again, now only more sinister, “Alright. Come on. Sit on my face.”

You jump up on your knees gingerly and watch as he gets into a relaxed position. Meanwhile, your hands are finding the clasp of your pants, tugging them off of you with your underwear quick to follow. You move over to him, taking short excited breaths before one knee meets the other side of his head. You glisten a gorgeous sheen, one that’d glossy, vicious, knowingly delectable in his mouth. Seokmin sighs in contentment, licking at his lips in anticipation.

“I’ll never get over how pretty you look with your pussy right in my face.”

You hold up your flustered cheeks in your hands, shutting your eyes as you internally squeal.

“Don’t do that. Your face is part of the view.”

A loud pound to your chest. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be. Now come here.”

You let your hips fall naturally, hovering over his mouth, meeting your hot, wet slit as he steady your thighs with his reliable hands. His eyes stay open as they lock with yours, ensuring you watch as he engulfs in your scent, your taste, your god-gifted warmth that you have bestowed upon him that makes him feel like he’s on top of god damn fucking world. Your folds hug his wet, pink muscle, and you could feel yourself already squirm as he makes his rounds, sweeping it over inside and outside every sensitive part of your core.

His name is delicious in your mouth, drool escaping out of the corner of your lips, your hands run in the tufs of his hair, staring down at this wonderful man that knew just what you needed at just the right time. His arms come around your legs–incoming the fat and strong flex of his arms (god fuck)–lowering on him, latching himself on your pussy in an aching attempt to taste deeper inside you. Like a rope attached to your chest, your torso pulls forward. Your eyes flutter at the pure carnal movement of his lips and you groan, your hips moving against his mouth in rhythm to him.

“Fuck…Seokmin, your mouth…”

You can’t form real sentences when it came to this side of Seokmin, but it’s not like he was listening. The nectar that seeps out of you was impossibly addictive, mind-numbing, and trance-inducing. He’d inhale you like oxygen, lost in the divide that separates himself from any other men you’d interact with. 

This pussy was his and only his.

He lowers the surface of his face and you feel the structure of his infamous nose, dragging the perfect tip over your clit and digging through your folds much like his tongue. He presses his face up against you, willingly suffocating himself to appreciate you to his highest capabilities with no fear of consequence. He doesn’t care if he loses sight. He doesn’t work about the strain in his neck after lifting his head up to meet your walls. Nor does he care who’s listening or possibly watching. This was his time–your time. 

Oh fuck it. He wanted this. And knowing you, you’d enjoy it.

His moans vibrate between your walls, your name like a spell enters you like you’re being fucked with the thought of his worship. Your legs grow weak, feeling ready to come down at any moment. You were already so close. Moisture escaping your legs, you shake in confirmation, waves of euphoria hitting you over and over again. You rasp his name in the air and finally, it's something he can hear, and he can tell it’s happening with the taste shifts.

What’s essentially clear, almost like nothing, gets savory in his mouth and it’s exactly what he’s been waiting for. He laps in you harder, firmer, clutching your legs around him like safety bars, nodding into you, in demand for more. So much more.

Your face contorts in pleasure, that familiar tension in your stomach comes back its about time to end, but your body yells at you otherwise. “S-Seokmin…I came…”

“One more…for me…take it…for me…”

Harsh stripes lick up anxiously over you, his fingers coming down on your clit to rub swirls into the bead. Your moans get only louder in response, the sensitivity from coming once mere seconds ago not dissipating. You grind down harder, faster, even bouncing on his tongue for a more stimulating second round, and Seokmin drinks in every second, every minute until you’re doubling over again saying his name in the incomprehensive way you do. 

You flood his mouth once more. His nose, his face, his chin, his neck is covered in a layer of thick, gorgeous release and you finally pull away from him, witnessing the pussy drunken smile stretched over his face from having the best goddamn meal of a lifetime. He’s sweating all over despite having only the job of laying flat on the bed while he devours you. His chest comes up and down rhythmically catching his breath, but it’s not long before he pulls you down, having you taste how he made you feel on his tongue. 

His arms and legs cocoon around you, locking you in his embrace as he defiles your face with the mess he’s made. You chuckle into his kiss, somewhat tired, yet completely at peace. He always knew what to do. You don’t appreciate that enough.

“Thank you,” you say in a hushed voice.

A low groan escapes him. “Anytime. I’ll eat your pussy anywhere and anytime for you. Just remember to relax. Or I’ll be forced to show you more of a good time, and it won’t matter what room we’re in.”

[startrekfangirl2233-writes]

Carry You Home

Part 8 of Sometimes All You Need (A Getaway Car)

Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x Reader

Description: The holidays in San Diego are drier and hotter than you're used to. But with Jake, Callie, Neil and all of your friends there, they should be fun, right? Wrong. At the request of Mama Georgie you and Jake pack up to head to Texas for Christmas. But what you find there is something you'd never expect to find, in more ways than one. Disclaimers: Arguments, Alcohol, Homophobic Language Warning: Female Reader Word Count: 6282 Author Note: Here’s part 8 of Sometimes All You Need (A Getaway Car). Here's the drama! GG and Jake head to Texas and it's... not great? Jake and his siblings are all amazing, but there is another member of the family I introduce you all to who is anything but. I hope you all like it! AO3: Cross-posted Here! My Masterlist Previous Part | Series Masterlist | Next Part

The holiday season in San Diego is always a little - interesting. You only get white snow drenched Christmases in the movies in California. But you honestly wouldn’t trade your California Christmases for anything in the world. That’s due, in part, to the family you’ve found yourself a part of. Jake and Javy are always around, filling your house with light and laughter, their bond stronger than blood. Callie and Neil are always around too, your family blending perfectly with Jake’s like they’ve always belonged together. With Callie, comes Tasha, who Callie confided to you, might be the one. With Tasha comes Bob. And once you’ve got Bob coming, it was only natural to invite the other Daggers. Soon enough, your house is the place to be for any elite aviator posted at North Island.

That’s no less true as you clean up in the kitchen after the first Thanksgiving you’ve ever hosted. The football game is blaring out from your living room and you can hear the boys’ exaggerated boos and smack talk emanating through the house. You’re loading the last of the dinner plates into the dishwasher when your phone rings as Jake makes his way into the kitchen.

You’re giggling into the phone when you pick it up. How can you be anything but happy with a 6-foot-tall man, your 6-foot-tall man, draped across your back?

“Mama Georgie! Hi! Happy Thanksgiving!” You’re smiling from ear to ear as Jake kisses the side of your head. You grin as Jake’s mom tells you all about the Seresin family Thanksgiving spread.

“Thanks for sending me your pie recipes, Mama Georgie! They went over a treat here. Twelve aviators and they ate every crumb. I made four pies!” You can’t even object when Jake snatches the phone from you to steal his mama for himself a little. 

“Hey, mama! I’m missing all of y’all today. It’s not Thanksgiving if I’m not home. But thankfully my gorgeous girl was here and gave me a slice of home so I don’t miss you too badly.” Heat rushes through your system, settling hot in your chest like it always does when Jake calls you his. 

It’s as you pull out the apple cider from the fridge, for the spiked apple cider you're serving after the game, that you hear Jake’s tone change.

“Sir.” That one word is enough to capture your interest. Who in his family would Jake call sir? Not his brothers. His dad or his grandfather then.

“Yessir. I was planning on coming home for Christmas, sir.” When you turn around, all of the joy has drained right out of Jake’s face. His green eyes look almost angry as you leave the cider ingredients on the counter and walk right to his side. To his credit, he tries to stay light-hearted for you, mouthing "my dad" and rolling his eyes, but after nearly a year and a half together, you're sure you can read Jake a bit better than that. 

Jake's worried, worried and tense about something. You know he's more than his Hangman persona, and you're sure you can read every sign of Jake putting that mask on from the first indicator. But right now? It's not Hangman schooling his emotions, and it's not your goofy golden retriever of a boyfriend. This is somebody else. 

"I've got two weeks of leave, sir, and I am planning on flying in on the 22nd or 23rd and leaving shortly after the New Year." Your hands glide easily over the slick soft material of the eye-blindingly bright orange jersey covering Jake's torso as you wrap your arms around his waist.

"Am I bringing my girl home?" You can feel every muscle under your fingertips tense. "I have to double check that she doesn't have plans already, sir."

You can hear a voice that sounds so much like Jake's spilling out of the phone. It sounds similar, yes, but there is a harshness to this voice you’ve never heard in Jake’s. The underlying aura of casual cruelty this voice emanates has chills running down your spine. From how tense Jake is as he wraps an arm around you, like he's reaching for a buoy to keep him afloat in rough waters, you know you're right to worry.

You don't know when Jake hangs up the call, because the next thing you know are his arms curled tight around you. Your cheek is pressed tightly to his chest and you can hear the steady whoosh of his breathing.

"You back with me, gorgeous?" You nuzzle in closer, all of a sudden so relaxed that you could fall asleep just like this.

“Yeah, Jay.” You slide your hands under Jake’s jersey, tracing the strong muscles of his back as he rocks the two of you back and forth.

“So you heard that, yeah?” You nod as you finally pull away, pulling out a pot from the cupboard to start on the cider.

“Was that your dad?” You’re cutting up apples as Jake muscles up to the counter next to you.

“Yeah. D’you need any spices for the cider?” He’s already poured out the gallons of cider into the pot and set it to simmer.

“What did he want? For the cider I’ll need a stick of cinnamon, a couple of cloves, a half-inch piece of ginger and a bit of citrus peel all in one of those spice sachets. I’ve got the orange peel on the cutting board for you, Jay.” You can’t hide your smile as Jake drops a kiss to your lips before nabbing the peel to add the to sachet that he’s already got mostly assembled.

“He wants you to come home with me for Christmas.” You can’t read Jake’s tone as he says those words. “Put the sachet into the pot?”

“Yeah, the sachet goes right into the pot.” You carefully lower the apple slices into the pot and put the lid on it before turning around. Jake’s got his arms crossed against the counter, looking right at you. “Do you want me to come home with you for Christmas?”

“Of course I do, baby doll.” But you know there’s something Jake’s hiding from you. You can see words at the tip of his tongue as he tries to think of a spin to what his first initial thought is. 

“Then what’s going on? Is it your family?” You must be frowning because Jake’s hands rise up to squish your cheeks even as he brings your forehead to meet his. Your lips brush lightly across his as you continue to speak, even as your voice is muffled by the tight grip he has on your cheeks. “I mean, I met Mama Georgie and Will when you were in the hospital and they loved me. At least I think they did? I wasn’t at my best though so who even knows if they saw anything other than a mess? I hope they loved me, Jay!”

Jake’s chuckling as he looks into your eyes, so amused by your obvious distress. You’re still blathering on about your intense need to make sure Jake’s family liked you when you get cut off by his lips covering yours. Your eyes flutter closed on instinct as your arms rise to wrap around Jake’s neck. His tongue slips easily between your parted lips even as his hands slide under your blouse to meet the bare skin at the waistband of your jeans. Jake kisses all of the thoughts out of your head for several moments before a set of sharp wolf-whistles breaks you apart. You’re blushing a little, your face hot, as you bury yourself into Jake’s chest just a little before walking to the stove to check on the cider. Unsurprisingly, it’s Callie, Tasha, and Javy standing right there, looking at you and Jake with amused eyes.

“I thought we were getting cider. Then we walk in here and you’re all loved up, sucking face with your boy toy?” It’s Callie, taking advantage of one of the few times she can tease you, of course. But that’s your one advantage, having a best friend who confides in you about everything and whose spare keys you have.

You flip her off before grinning, “At least you haven’t walked in on us fucking on the sofa, Cal! Of course, I can’t say the same thing about you.”

Your remark takes the heat off of you and Jake and you’re more than pleased when all three of your friends walk out of the kitchen bickering with each other. By the resulting roar coming out of your living room, it’s a topic of conversation that all of the other aviators latch on to quite easily. More importantly, it leaves you and Jake alone in the kitchen again.

“As I was saying, before we were so rudely interrupted earlier,” Jake cages you up against the kitchen counter, capturing your lips in another kiss. “They loved you, gorgeous. Mama loves you in a way she’s never loved any of my other girlfriends. She keeps asking me how you are, how you’re doing. It’s why she has your phone number in the first place. I promise they adore you.” He’s peppering kisses across your face between words.

“Then what is it, Jake?” You can’t hide how worried you feel. It’s coloring your tone even as you trace the longhorn emblazoned across his chest with your eyes.

“It’s not you, sweetheart. It’s not my mom or siblings either. It’s my dad.” Those last words are practically whispered into your hair. “I've told you a little bit about him. You know what he's like. I really hoped I wouldn't have to ever introduce him to you. He's going to say a lot of shit, baby. I know he will. But if you truly want to come to Texas for me, I'll make sure he doesn't take his anger at me out on you."

"Why would he be angry at you, Jake?" You really don't understand why anybody would be mad at him.

"Because I've never been the son he wanted. The son he deserves. I was supposed to go to law school and then come back to be legal attache to the ranch and his legal council while he ran for office. I ruined all of that by joining the Navy." 

It’s a thought you ruminate on for the rest of the night, while you’re cleaning up and getting ready for bed. Jake drives them straight out of your head soon afterwards, drugging you with the heat of his skin and press of his mouth.

You don’t remember Jake’s words again until you’re waiting for your bags at baggage claim in the Austin airport a couple of days before Christmas. Most people are excited to go home for the holidays right? Jake’s got a grimace on his face, one more akin to a man facing the gallows than a man going home to his beloved family. Coupled with the incredibly apparent storm clouds around him, and you’re already bracing yourself for a wholly uncomfortable Christmas. It’s a foul miasma which surrounds you from the moment you get into the taxi and all the way through the drive.

Jake’s smiling, showing you all of the sights, coupled with anecdotes about his childhood. It’s nice, of course, seeing where Jake grew up, but there is something not quite right about his artificial good mood. All of the houses are covered in colorful lights and the atmosphere looks straight out of a storybook - if you switch out Texas scrub for snow, of course.

Seresin Ranch is just as festively decorated as every other property you've seen so far. At about an hour's drive from the airport, you'd half expected a little place in the middle of nowhere. You couldn't have been more wrong. There is an entire village's worth of houses on the many acres of land on the ranch, each covered in string lights. Ranch hands scurry to and fro, working cattle, training horses, and carting bales of hay to the big red barns you can see in the distance. You look out on the whole affair with fascination, the city-girl in you in awe at the foreign sights.

It's mid-afternoon as your cab pulls up the winding main road up to the biggest house you've ever seen. Jake's always carried this worldly, cultured air about him, and looking at his childhood home, you can see why. The main ranch house is up on a hill, overlooking the acres of land it's built on. The air smells crisp and clean as you step out of the taxi with the assistance of the butler. You also inexplicably feel out of place - like a little kid playing dress-up with their mother's heels and makeup or a wolf in sheep's clothing. Your simple, yet good quality jacket, cable-knit sweater, jeans and boots feel drab in comparison to the opulence you're sure you'll see on the inside. 

No wonder the butler looks down his hooked nose at you. You look like a peasant entering the royal palace through the front gate on the arm of the prince. It clicks all of a sudden for you - why Jake's always so put-together, always so perfect. It has to be the effects of growing up in this place. The polished marble floor shows your entire reflection as you step carefully through the open front door into the foyer. Each of your footsteps echoes, ricocheting through the cavernous space as you hand your jacket to the butler and clutch your purse closer to your side.

"Here, gorgeous." Jake's voice eases some of the tension you feel, especially as his arm wraps around your shoulder and his lips press against your temple as he hands you your gift for his parents. It's nothing special - a couple of bottles of wine, one of the best varieties you could get, in a basket along with toys for the dogs, chocolates, and a throw blanket. Jake had approved of the basket and your idea for its contents when you'd suggested it, but standing in the foyer of his home, you're about ninety-nine percent sure it's cheap, far cheaper than his parents deserve.

Before you can ponder hiding it, Mama Georgie's already walking regally down the front stairs, her dimples twinkling in the sunlight as she walks faster than you ever could in her heels to greet her son. There is true affection and love in every interaction Mama Georgie has with Jake. You'd seen it in the hospital when Jake had been injured and you see it now. Side by side, the observation you'd made about mother and son while Jake was in the hospital is even more true - Jake is just like his mother, especially when they smile standing there side by side looking at you.

“Hi Darling! How are you? How was your trip? It wasn’t too bad was it? Y’all are just in time for dinner! I made your favorite, Jakey - my chili!” If there’s one person other than Jake who you’ve met that can put you at ease, it’s his mom. Mama Georgie sweeps you up into her arms for the firmest, most motherly, hug you’ve felt in a long time before dragging you after her into the kitchen, babbling a mile a minute. As sterile as the main foyer has been, the colossal chef-grade kitchen is anything but. The entire room is suffused with the warm smells of spices. There are two tow-headed toddlers standing at the counter gleefully mashing cookie dough between their fingers and three big dogs waiting for scraps. Arrayed around the room are what must be the remainder of Jake’s siblings and their spouses. Laughter is an undercurrent to the warm atmosphere.

“Can I get y’all anything to drink? Anything to eat? Jakey I know you haven’t been eating properly. Look at you, you’re so thin!” You smile unabashedly at the rising chorus of coo-ing noises as all four of Jake’s siblings join in on making their brother blush. Jake takes one look at your laughing face and wraps you in a bear hug, kissing you until your face is hot and your giggles are gone.

When he pulls away, he murmurs, “So you’ll pick my brothers and sisters before me, huh?” You know he’s not angry though, not when he’s smirking at you.

“They’re a funny bunch, Jay! What am I supposed to do?” You’re grinning fondly as Jake rolls his eyes.

To the room at large, he introduces you before abandoning you to his sisters and going to beg his mom for a snack she’s already assembling in bowls. If only the Daggers were here to hear how whiny the cool and collected Hangman can get. It makes you smile even wider as you chat with Jake’s sisters and sisters-in-law. From what Jake’s told you, he has two younger sisters, Eliza and Maggie, though as Eliza corrects you, she’s younger by only ten minutes, as his twin. His sisters-in-law are Hannah and Melissa. Of all of his siblings you’ve met, you know Hannah, Will’s wife, the best, as she’d come up to San Diego when Jake was injured with her husband. In age order, then, you have Henry, Will, Jake, Eliza, and Maggie. Hannah, a statuesque blonde, in addition to being Will’s wife, is mother to the twin terrors currently mashing cookie dough into each others’ mouths and Mama Georgie’s pristine kitchen counters, James and Jordan. Melissa is a mischievous looking red-head with green eyes that puts Jake’s to shame. Standing next to her 6 foot tall husband she’s curvy and diminutive. Her only child, a four month old baby girl named Sarah is the chubbiest, cutest baby you’ve ever met. Rounding out the family in the kitchen is Eliza’s fiancée, Beth.

You’ve got Sarah in your lap, the little girl playing with and gumming up your clean fingers when the entire kitchen seems to go silent. You feel a bit like a deer in headlights when a pair of green eyes seems to impale you from the tall, imposing person standing near Mama Georgie. You can’t even use Sarah as a buffer because Melissa whisks the baby away. So you’re left inexplicably empty-handed as you step forward to stand next to Jake in front of his dad.

“So, son. This is your girlfriend?” Your initial impressions of Jake’s dad just from hearing him through the phone were spot on. 

“Yessir.” Jake introduces you to his dad, and his dad to you. Henry Seresin Sr is Jake’s older, more grizzled doppelganger, but one who has had every drop of joy wrung from his soul. His emerald eyes feel cold, like he’s trying to read your soul and maybe rob it from your body. 

“Pleased to meet you.” You feel very much like you failed the most important test of your life. He doesn’t sound pleased to meet you at all. You’re more inclined to think he believes you to be akin to a bug squished on the bottom of his shoe. Just as soon as those intimidating green eyes have you in their crosshairs, they move on, transfixing Jake in their gaze.

“So this is what you’re getting up to? Chasing some piece of tail rather than keeping your head in the game? Your mom told me you got injured. Was it because your head was on her instead of on your mission?” Your hackles raise even higher at his words, if that is even possible. 

You’re getting angry. Like this man even has an idea of what Jake’s been through. Hearing and knowing, understanding are two different things. But no matter how you swallow or how many words line up on your tongue, your mouth doesn’t work.

Jake just grasps your hand a bit tighter as he stares his father down. The mask you’d seen on his face after Thanksgiving Dinner when his dad had demanded Jake bring you home is back. Coupled with his ramrod straight back and the set to his jaw, you’d think Jake was facing down a particularly odious commanding officer, not his father. Before the tension can escalate any further though, Mama Georgie starts handing out bowls of food. With her Texas Chili in their hands, father and son seem to simmer down.

Before long, the twins have their little faces smeared in sour cream and rich meaty chili streaked across their chins, and that’s the first time you see Jake’s dad smile. He looks at James and Jordan with such naked affection in your eyes that you can understand how a woman as warm and kind as Mama Georgie could fall in love with a man like Henry Seresin. Jake is, rather unsurprisingly, taciturn throughout the meal where he had been goofing around with his brothers less than an hour prior. Jake’s dad doesn’t act like you’re even at the table, seemingly content to ignore you and his youngest son. He converses with Will, Henry, Hannah, Melissa, and his wife in turn, pausing to listen to the twins’ babbling too. Maggie gets her own share of her dad’s attention too. It seems to be only Beth, Eliza, Jake and you who get unilaterally ignored.

From what you can see, it seems to suit Eliza and Beth just fine, but it’s Jake that most of your attention is on. You know how much he craves his dad’s attention, whether he admits it or not, so this has to cut deep. Would things be different if you weren’t here? A part of you isn’t sure if it would be. Jake would be facing his dad’s unnecessary disapproval alone. At least he won’t open his mouth and say the truly cutting things he wants to if there is a stranger in the house? You can hope, anyhow.

The tension dissipates some as in the cover of night, everyone separates and gets loaded into the many pickup trucks waiting in the driveway to undertake what you’re told very excitedly by Mama Georgie, is a Seresin family Christmas tradition. It’s not cold exactly, but you still climb into the bed of the pickup truck Will’s driving easily, accepting the blanket Jake draws over your lap and the thermos Mama Georgie hands you. Jake, of course, settles in next to you, and you have no qualms about cuddling into his arms. 

As the cars start moving, Jake tells you how each year the Seresins drive into Austin to view all of the Christmas light displays on December 23rd with hot chocolate in hand. On Christmas Eve, the tree gets finished. When you ask him what that means, he grins and tells you how the tree’s final ornaments are the popcorn garlands the kids make and some tinsel. Each member of the family gets a singular present to open on Christmas Eve. Come Christmas morning, over breakfast, the gifts are opened and everyone meets up again for family dinner out in one of the big barns. That’s when you’ll meet his aunts, uncles, and cousins.

All of a sudden it seems like you’re going to be inundated with a lot of Seresins in not a lot of time. But that’s not what’s bothering you. You curl your hand around Jake’s cheek, gently pulling his lips to yours in a sweet kiss.

“What was that about, Jay?” Your voice is a whisper just loud enough to be heard in the scant inches of space between the two of you.

“Dad? At dinner?” Jake’s eyes glint golden in the dim starlight illuminating the way. Will’s truck is last in line and you and Jake are alone in the bed. “That is his way of punishing his kids. He hates that I joined the Navy instead of doing what he wanted.” 

You have a sick, foreboding feeling in your stomach as you ask your next question. “Then why is he ignoring Eliza and Beth?”

Jake’s chuckle is equally mirthless. “He hates that Eliza is gay. Dad is just old-fashioned enough to hate it at home. But outwardly he pretends to be all tolerant and shit so none of his soon-to-be constituents take offense. It’s horribly two-faced. Eliza and Dad had a bunch of fights the first time Eliza brought Beth home. For Mama’s sake he tolerates Beth. The only way he knows how to do that is to ignore them.”

You wrap your arms even tighter around Jake, your mind ticking along at a mile a minute. You understand Henry Seresin even less now.

As advertised, the lighting displays are gorgeous and Christmas Eve passes in as much idyllic calm as it can with three children and 12 adults occupying the same house. Things start racing off the rails during the annual Christmas Eve present unwrapping. Thankfully you’d thought ahead and purchased presents for every member of Jake’s family, and it seems like there is a pile of presents under the tree for you as well. The adults are sipping on boozy homemade eggnog as James and Jordan hand out the gifts with Will’s help. 

One by one, each person opens their Christmas Eve pre-Santa gift. Jake had picked out your gift to open and he’d graced you with his special soft smile at the sight of his grandfather’s watch restored and ticking in perfect order. Finally, the only person who hasn’t opened a gift is you. In all honesty, you’re not upset at all, holding James in your lap as the little boy had taken a shine to you. Between one second and the next all of the noise dies down. Even James’ babble silences and when you look up, it’s to the sight of Jake, in his goofy Christmas-themed pajamas, on one knee in front of you.

“J-Jay? What are you doing?” You can’t believe your eyes.

“I know we usually open a gift on Christmas Eve, but what I’m asking you might just be the best gift I’ve ever received in my life. My gorgeous girl, you’ve stuck with me through thick and thin. Since the day we met, you’ve had me wrapped around your fingers. I love you so much. Would you do me the honor of making me the happiest man in the world and marry me?” 

Tears drip down your face as you nod and Jake pushes the band onto your ring finger. He kisses you, soft and sweet, keeping it light, standing there in the living room of his happiest place on earth. What startles the two of you apart is the banging of a door down the hall. When you pull away, the only person missing is his dad. Guess he doesn’t approve then. But you can’t dwell on Jake’s dad. Not when you have a fiancé, a fiancé, to hug and kiss, again, and a room full of his loved ones welcoming you into the family. You go to bed that night a little tipsy and with your heart so full of love for Jake and for his family.

The atmosphere when you wake up on Christmas morning is a little bit different. The living room is awash with the twins’ laughter as they demolish the gift wrapping into shards of brightly colored confetti. All of the adults are sleepily smiling at the boys as they carry gifts to each adult in turn. All of the adults, that is, other than Jake’s dad. The oldest male in the room is glaring gloomily, mustering a smile only when James or Jordan toddles towards their grandfather. For the most part, despite the glares, you enjoy yourself. 

It’s when the family gathers for Christmas dinner before the party in the barn that the apple cart topples over in earnest. You bow your head for grace dutifully, though you’re not religious in the slightest. It’s as dishes are being passed back and forth down the long wooden table groaning under the weight of all of the food on it that Jake’s dad opens his mouth again.

“Jacob.” The entire table seems to hush at his words, all conversation snuffed out. That one word has you lying your utensils down, swallowing, taking a sip of water and patting your lips with your napkin. Jake’s tense at your side as he does the same thing.

“Yes, sir?” Jake’s conciliatory, keeping his eyes trained on his plate.

“Look at me when I’m speaking to you, boy.” Jake’s hands drop to his sides as he stares at his father on command. You place your hand in his, taking comfort in the way his big thumbs run lightly over the emerald embedded in the shining silver now on your left hand.

“Are you thinking this through? I’m sure she’s nice enough, but what makes you think she’s appropriate for a man in your social standing?” Your eyes widen, and you see anger on Mama Georgie’s face for the first time since you met her.

“Appropriate for a man of my social standing?” From that tone alone, you’re bracing for a fight. “I wasn’t aware I had a social standing, Pops.” 

You can picture the way Jake’s lips pop as he says those words. But you can’t look away from Jake’s dad. Not now that you know that Jake has picked a fight. A fight he’s determined to win. 

“Ridiculous. I thought the Navy was supposed to teach discipline, not show my son how to whore around. Is she knocked up? Is that why you brought that cheap little slut into my house and introduced her to your brothers and sisters? To your niece and nephews?” You can’t even begin to get angry, not when you can sense the entire force of Jake’s anger emanating in waves from his body. His hand is gentle as he holds yours despite his rage.

“What did you say about her?” It’s a hissed out sentence. You don’t know when, but Hannah and the twins are no longer at the table. Neither is baby Sarah. It’s good that the kids are out of the blast radius of this particular fight.

“You heard me, son.” You’ve never heard more condescending words in your entire life.

“I did hear you, Dad.” Jake inhales deep, the sound whooshing out like bellows filled with hot air. 

“I wanted to make sure that I heard the right thing. Let’s get one thing clear. I found the love of my life in San Diego. She’s not a whore, she’s not knocked up, though that’ll happen as soon as she lets me put a baby in her. She’s not cheap. My gorgeous girl is the most amazing woman I’ve ever met. You’re not in the Navy so you have no idea what it does to a relationship to be apart from someone for months, maybe years at a time when you love them. It takes a special person to withstand the deployments, the stress, the injuries, all of it. I found that person and I asked her to marry me. I brought her home because I wanted her to have a support net, people she could rely on when I’m deployed so she’s not alone in a house like a mausoleum all by herself.”

“I’m in my right mind, old man. I know exactly what I’m doing. I’ve been thinking about marrying her since the night I met her. There isn’t another woman in the world for me.” When Jake kisses the ring on your finger, you have to hide your smile.

That’s not the only time, either. Jake’s dad is flushed with his anger, his eyes bulging out of his head at the sight of you still sitting by his son.

“Georgia.” His voice is full of rage as he spits out his wife’s name.

“Where did we go wrong? These two,” he growls, gesturing at Jake and Eliza in turn. “Why do they always have to be such fucking embarrassments? You let Jake spend too much time with your dad so the little idiot joined the Navy and brought back a woman who probably couldn’t sit through a fancy dinner without embarrassing the family. And then there’s Eliza.” 

At her name, Eliza tenses in entirety, her big green eyes wide as they stare between her father and her brother. 

“Our daughter couldn’t even turn out right, huh? If I had my way she would’ve been married to the youngest Johnson boy. He’s perfectly respectable. But no. We let her go to college in New York and she came back with a girlfriend. Disgraces, both of them.” 

Jake’s just about to open his mouth in defense of his clearly distraught sister when a chair squeals against the hardwood floor as it is pushed violently away from the table. It’s Henry, glaring at his father.

“Jake, Will, Eliza, Maggie, Mel. We’re leaving. Now.” It doesn’t surprise you at all that all the siblings fall in line. 

“Where do you think you’re going?” It’s another painfully tense moment between father and son. 

“I’m going to celebrate Christmas with my siblings. My siblings who I love because of who they are, not the political power they’ll bring me.”

He turns to Mama Georgie sitting in shock at the other end of the long, long dinner table. “I’m sorry, Mama. I can’t sit here and hear my siblings and their fiancée’s get insulted like this, not anymore. It’s something I should’ve done months ago, when Eliza first brought Bethie home.” 

“Will you at least take some of the food with you?” You’re not sure how Mama Georgie’s keeping her composure even as her eyes are glassy with unshed tears.

“Yeah, Mama. Eliza, can you help Mama pack up enough food for all of us?” You’re not surprised in the slightest to see all of the Seresin siblings jump into action.

“Jake and Beth. Can you grab your bags? The four of you will stay with Will and Hannah or Mel and I. We can figure out who’s staying where in a bit.” Jake nods, standing up before walking to his eldest brother and hugging him.

You follow him up the stairs to the guest bedroom and sit on the bed, packing the few things you’d left out into your suitcase again. Jake’s silent as he walks to and fro, packing his things. You stop him as he grabs a sweater from the foot of the bed, pulling him in between your legs. You know what his dad said made him feel terrible when he can’t even meet your eyes.

“Jay?” You tug on his hands gently. “Can you look at me?”

When his eyes finally meet yours, you’re shocked to see the normally clear, sage pools bloodshot and worried. His brow is furrowed and you pull him until he sits heavily down on the bed next to you.

“What’s going on, Jay?” You rest your head on his shoulder, entwining your arms with his as you cuddle in close.

“Baby, you heard him. You know exactly why I never wanted to bring you home. For all I know, you’re going to return this ring and walk away, just because of my family.” This is what your gorgeous, beautiful, sweet man is worried about?

“I love your family, Jay. Your mom, brothers, sisters, sisters-in-laws, niece and nephews, I love them all. Your family are the people who show you love, who love you unconditionally. They’re your family. Not the man who’s only ever spoken to you like that.” Your voice is soft as you play with his fingers.

“I’m not breaking up with you because of some words somebody I don’t even know says about me. We’ve been through far too much to end because of something like that.” Jake’s chuckle is soft as he pecks your lips gently. 

“We really have, haven’t we?” His voice is just as soft as yours as he cups your jaw. “I love you, baby doll. I’m sorry this Christmas got destroyed. I’m sorry our engagement was overshadowed by my dad’s hissy fit.”

“Nothing could ruin how happy I was when you asked me to marry you last night. I love you.” You tug Jake into a sweet kiss before grabbing your bag.

It doesn’t surprise you in the slightest when Jake gently lifts it from your hands  as you walk out of the door. It also doesn’t surprise you to see Mama Georgie at the foot of the stairs.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. No matter what my husband says, you’re family to me. I can’t wait to see you marry my son. You make him so happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted - my children happy.” You’re tearing up at her words as she hugs you tight. “That’s why I gave Jake the ring my father, his Grandpa Jacob, gave my mother.”

“I hope I’ll see you soon.” You answer Mama Georgie in the affirmative and walk out of the house. It doesn’t surprise you at all to hear the roar of “Henry David Seresin” as you walk out the door, not at all.

You spend the remainder of your time in Texas staying with Henry and Melissa in their cute little cottage a little ways away from Seresin Ranch. It’s refreshing being able to just be yourself. Even better is the view from the front porch you get of holding baby Sarah while watching her dad and uncle work up a sweat cutting firewood. This? This is all you think you could ever want. It’s definitely something you want in your own future. A small baby against your chest and their daddy looking at you like you’re everything he’ll ever need. In one sharp longing moment, you realize that’s all you could ever want with Jake.

I DO NOT CONSENT TO HAVE MY WORK POSTED, TRANSLATED, OR PUBLISHED ON ANY SITES OTHER THAN HERE OR ON AO3 BY ME. IF YOU SEE MY WORKS ANYWHERE OTHER THAN HERE OR AO3, THEN THEY HAVE BEEN POSTED WITHOUT MY PERMISSION AND I WILL BE WORKING TO TAKE THEM DOWN.

Taglist:

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[wrathofrats]

Another extremely accurate post of me guessing your personality based on your fav ghoul, but I’m nicer this time!

Mountain: you bitches terrify me. Like I’m a good way. Mostly very chill people, just kinda wanting to get their work done and go, but when it comes to that tall ass piece of meat?? Holy fuck y’all go crazy. Insane. Feral. Y’all rival the Swiss people which is so funny to be considering how mountain is headcanoned to be. Also I think you’re a good baker idk why.

Rain: ahhh!! Y’all are very sweet. Sassy but usually very sweet. Calm, don’t have much to say until you have a burning desire to see a fish in a dress. But all you wanna do is dress up your pretty little ghoul and vibe. Very artistic people. Some of y’all have a weird sadism streak tho and I’m concerned for you!!! You remind me of like a 5 year old whispering to their parents in the middle of the night that they’re going to skin mom. But affectionately

Aether: the absolute sweetest people. Genuinely very kind and cares for others I love y’all so much. Just wants to see everyone be happy and tell stupid jokes. Your fav color is like yellow or purple I’m almost positive. Your love language is touch and words of affirmation. Y’all don’t have much to say but you’re such a ray of sunshine kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss

Dew: babe ………. Babe. I love you. This is the most self destructive answer. I think we need to stop consuming caffeine and let’s instead maybe see a therapist. You’re so fun, and funny. You’re a little shit (affectionately) people love you a lot more than you think. How about we learn to accept compliments? And maybe how to sit down? But you’re very entertaining!!!

Swiss: alright you stupid cunt. Funniest fucking people ever. Also horniest people ever. Y’all are great leaders, usually have bold personalities. Life of the party. But also let’s learn how to be nice to others. Bullying those we love is not a valid love language but you’re very very funny so, give and take I guess. Also youre hot you must be I don’t make the rules. 

Cumulus: sweetest people also. Mom friend. I know you probably have a giant purse that you keep candy and ibuprofen in. Let’s maybe learn to put the air mask on ourselves before others? Usually fairly shy but it’s ok I love you. You look amazing in a sundress, and you’re like the least judge mental person ever. I’m feeding you a strawberry rn let me know if you receive it

Cirrus: god YOURE HOT. You’re so fucking confident. You are here to tell people what to do and get shit done, and every listens to you. You’re the plan maker. Here’s the itinerary and if you don’t like it figure something else out. You give good solid and very honest advice

Sunny: ohhh my sweet summer child. You’re a lot! I love you for it! You want to do everything all the time and know everything about everything, so so very curious. You ate glue as a child, affectionately. But it’s ok! You’re adorable and very yellow coded. Probably eats dessert before dinner, you absolutely have a sweet tooth.

Phantom: hey another dumbass, affectionately. Put down the fucking green hair dye. PUT IT DOWN. Y’all are golden retriever people, usually just very happy to be here. Puts on a badass face but very nice and usually kinda chill. Cargo shorts and pants are not the only fashion choices if you were not already aware, but it’s ok you’ll grow out of it!

Aurora: you’re so cute!! Probably a bit mean, very much a princess. Prissy and wants what they want when they want it. But you know being kind is cool and usually wanna sit and listen to other people.

[acefaun]

Zodiac Pirates

Synopsis: Captain Leon of ‘the Golden Wish’ and his first mate, Karno VS Captain Zyglavis of ‘the Black Punisher’ and his first mate, Scorpio. They're both sent by the King of Heavenia to find his treasure... Little do they know the treasure they're looking for is actually a person.

✨Masterlist✨ Female goldfish! (MC is going to be referred to as a he/him through most of this because she's a pirate and female pirates are taboo. I'm saving your life, you're welcome. 😘)

A/n: Happy mermay! There’s no mermaids in here… but ya get some fabulous pirates, so~  If you do want a mermaid fic… hit me with some kind of prompt, because I’m at a loss.

–Word Count: 15,332–

The wind whipped against the ship's sails, the flag of a skull with crossbones flapping high above the mast. Karno loved the sensation of the salty sea air, that's why he relished his position as first mate on board the Golden Wish. His eyes stayed peeled as they sailed nearer the port. They had to find their target as soon as possible.

Karno knew that his Captain absolutely loathed the thought of letting the captain of the Black Punisher get the better of him. But it was honestly tiring that he, Karno, had to take charge of this task because Leon couldn't bother to entertain the King’s senseless commission.

But Karno’s eyes did spot their target… And it was right beside the Black Punisher… Karno sighed in exhaustion, contemplating if, for a moment, he should just pretend to ignore the found vessel. 

Whether he liked it or not, they were going to have another fateful meeting. If they retrieved the treasure together, in any case, then they'd have to team up. It wasn't like they'd never done so before. Besides, he knew Leon would be thrilled to be able to have a bigger crew to sail the most prized ship between both crews… The Zodiac. 

The reason for the crew being split… Was precisely because of Captain Leon’s and now Captain Zyglavis’ different ways of running a ship. Not that it was a problem. Sometimes two crews were better than one. But Karno had a gut feeling that this particular mission would take all twelve of them. But that was just a hunch. 

He suspected getting what they needed from this ship wouldn't be their biggest worry. After all, after studying their target, he grew to understand that this crew was… less than traditional. But their captain also had a treasure that the Zodiac pirates couldn't sit by and let them have—a treasure that rightfully belonged to the King. 

***

Ichthys waved eagerly from the peer, gesturing wildly to the big vessel before them. "There it is! But they must have been expecting company. They look ready to bolt at a moment's notice." If the lack of a boarding ramp and the ready-to-go sails were anything to go by, they'd abandon the port the minute the minute Zyglavis’ crew was spotted.

But Zyglavis didn't seem bothered. After all, they'd dealt with worse. He barely scanned the ship with his own eyes before deciding, "That's not a concern. It doesn't look like but a few crew members remained to watch over the ship. We'll board them, find their stolen treasure, and leave without a fight."

"Oh-ho! I see Captain Ponytail thinks he's going to get the treasure before us." Their attention sourly turned to Captain Leon who was overzealously approaching, his boots thumping across the dock as if announcing his notable presence.

They were loud enough for me to take notice of. I peered over the railing of the ship, trying to stay unnoticed while I checked out whoever was making a ruckus. They were being quite loud and obvious in their intentions to board my captain’s ship. How did they plan to succeed like that? 

They were certainly strange pirates, but my heart jumped at seeing one of them. Zyglavis... Captain of the Black Punisher. He and his crew were infamous for sinking pirate ships with nary a scratch on their own. He never failed in whatever task he set out to do. 

Zyglavis was notably in dark blue, but then who was the dude in orange who looked ready to have a show-down with him? Was he someone important? My eyebrows furrowed. 

Still, I wasn't dense; I was the second mate of this ship for a reason. They were talking about boarding our ship for treasure. I wasn't really aware of any major treasure aside from the book that the captain had under lock and key in his quarters. Still, it didn't make sense that the Captain Zyglavis wanted some small-time treasure from us. 

It were moments like these that I was grateful for the first mate owning a falcon for a messenger-bird. It became useful for instances like these when flares would catch the attention of enemy pirates. A simple bird was great for passing along messages.

Escaping into the ship, I was swift in releasing the ready falcon, watching it fly from the open window. The mere sight of it would send the captain back to the ship due to the emergency.

Now that my message was out, all I had left to do was defend the ship from those other pirates until the captain returned with the crew; or, at the very least, stall for time.

I grabbed hold of my rapier, marching back up to the deck. But I had to pause and draw back into the nearby kitchen as two unfamiliar pirates walked past. They were clearly a part of either Zygalvis' crew or that other pirate. But how did they get in so quickly and so quietly?

I took a deep breath and thought through what my top priority was. I had to protect the captain's quarters. He would probably reprimand me for being a coward if I ran at the sight of being outnumbered. But one thing I couldn't let them do was take the ship.

Sneaking out of the kitchen, I ran to where the captain’s quarters were, closer to the deck. But as soon as I opened the door to leave the crew's quarters and head back to the deck, I froze. There seemed to be even more pirates gathered there than before and I was at a loss for what I could do to make the situation better.

With Captain Zyglavis among them I knew any kind of fight would be a lost battle. I could hold my own, but the stories spoke for themselves. I was still learning how to master my fighting technique. Going up against a captain was out of my skill set. 

Still, my grip tightened on my rapier in preparation for a losing battle. There was always a slim chance for success.

Unfortunately... It didn't seem as though I was going to need to worry about fighting. I tensed up as a dagger was pressed against my throat, someone taking my arm, and pulling it behind me to prevent me from struggling much. He ordered with a threat underlying his tone, "Drop it." Only, I knew he wasn't threatening me… He'd more than willingly slit my throat if I made a wrong move. 

The only thing I was able to do was steal a glance from the corner of my eye. He glared at me, his cool gray eyes trained on me like a practiced assassin—well, the one eye that wasn't covered by his dark hair, at least. I had no doubt he would have no qualms about taking me out. 

How could this guy have snuck up on me so easily? These guys weren't making any noise at all to clue me to their presence. My weapon made a loud clattering noise as it hit the floor boards, drawing the attention of the other pirates to where we were standing. Now that I wasn't holding a weapon to defend myself, the dagger was removed from my throat and I was shoved forward, forced to stand before the terrifying Captain Zygalvis. 

I tilted my head just a bit more to be able to meet his gaze. 

His cold eyes trailed over me, not looking at all impressed with the mere sight of me. But his eyes lingered on mine, reading the defiance I held in my gaze. "You wouldn't have succeeded in fighting us. It is better this way."

The man beside him, who I could now recognize as the infamous Captain Leon of the Golden Wish, scoffed with his lips curled into a smirk. "This goldfish wanted to fight us?"

"G- Goldfish?" I was offended by the term, knowing it meant I was seen as nothing but weak to them. Which, I supposed they weren't wrong, but they had no right to call me a goldfish! “Let me go and I'll show you who the goldfish is!"

Leon looked like he wanted to further antagonize me, but Zyglavis was quick to interrupt. "If you won't aid us then you have no reason to be on board this ship."

I glared, wishing I had my rapier, my fear for these captains forgotten in place of raw irritation. "This isn't your ship to command! Besides, you're looking for treasure where there is none. You're wasting your time."

"Is that so? That's not a problem for us." Leon approached me, not at all worried that I might attack him. "We'll just have to keep a goldfish like you around." He stole the pistol off of my belt before he turned quickly, glaring at his underlings. "Enough playing around! Get in there!" 

The man behind me had loosened his grip after Leon stole my pistol but knowing that they were going to break into the Captain’s quarters made me act rather than think.

I ducked out of the pirate's arms, stealing the sword off of his belt, before he could grab me and I had the sword against Leon's neck, exactly the same way I was being held before. "Stop! Everyone, stop or your captain is going to pay for it!" 

There was a tense silence. No one moved and no one was speaking. The only person that reacted was Captain Leon. He laughed, and surprisingly it wasn't in a mocking way; he was genuinely amused at his predicament.

I glanced in the direction of incoming footsteps and tensed in preparation as yet more pirates joined us. "There's no one else on the ship. If there's any treasure it's going to be in the captain's quarters." The man who was speaking paused, causing those behind him to run into him. Huedhaut's eyes were wide as he looked at the scene in front of him. "Captain...?"

"Well?" Leon questioned, staring at his men, "What are you waiting for?"

"I told you not to move! I'm serious!"

"What are you going to do, goldfish? Kill me?" His voice returned to mocking me, making me feel like cutting him out of spite. "If you kill me, you'll lose your bargaining piece. Do you really think you could handle all eleven of the pirates on board this ship or the wrath of my first mate? But then again, if you don't kill me, what are you going to do? Continue to hold me hostage until the sun goes down? My crew doesn't have to listen to you, because you won’t act."

"What's stopping me from killing you?" I asked, hiding my uncertainty in my decision. He wasn't wrong, as soon as he was dead I'd likely find myself sharing a similar fate without having accomplished anything; but just standing there with a sword to his neck wouldn't accomplish anything either. Still, they were all paused to listen, some of them obviously not wanting me to harm their captain. "I'm a pirate. We kill people like you who get in our way. If I die in the process then we both die. But I die knowing I killed Captain Leon, the great wild lion of the sea. And you die knowing (Name) (Surname), a mere goldfish, killed you."

"You have a lot to learn before you can be a real pirate, goldfish. Let me teach you something." Before I could react, he had his own sword out, shoving mine away from his neck, giving him the space to face me properly. No one moved, but the odds were certainly stacked against me. "First of all, talk less when you're threatening someone's life. Now, why don't you show me what kind of skill you have with that sword?"

He didn't give me the opportunity to respond as he was already ontop of me with his blade. He was fast, almost too fast for me to react and defend myself. But I did take notice that they had broken the door down to the Captain's quarters, bringing my attention back to them. "Hey- AH!" I stumbled back with a hiss, a decent sized cut was across my arm thanks to Leon's blade.

He observed me with bored eyes. "Pay attention to your enemy in a fight. You've dirtied my sword with your blood."

I was worried about what they might find in the Captain's quarters. I'd never been in there myself, but I knew they had things I could never dream of touching. Leon had forced my attention on him but I couldn't help but be fearful of them taking all of our gold and leaving us with nothing. I wouldn't put it past them.

"Why are you backing away? You'll get cornered like that and it would give me the perfect opportunity…" He stopped speaking as he thrusted his sword forward, making me back awkwardly into the railing where he could easily push me overboard if he tried. But instead, he grabbed my wrist, holding my sword over my head as he pressed his sword into my neck, drawing my head up. "You'd never make it as a member on my ship. All of my men know how to fight."

He hummed as he glared down at me. He noted how nervous I looked under him, but there was something else he couldn't quite put his finger on…

"Leon," Karno interrupted as he looked between the two of us. "They didn't find anything. (Name) was either telling the truth or it's hidden. But we don't have the time to look through the entire ship."

"You didn't find what you were looking for because we don't have any treasure! I would know, I’m in charge of that!" I snapped, but I was still awkwardly pressed against the railing, my back arching slightly to keep my throat from being slit open like my arm.

"(Surename)!" My eyes snapped to the other side of the ship where my Captain finally made it. "Release my second mate, Leon."

Leon glanced at Karno, giving him the silent cue to take my sword and keep me still while he turned and faced my captain. "With a second mate like that I'm surprised your ship still sails. This one didn't put up much of a fight."

"What do you want?" He wouldn’t waste time with these pirates and jumped straight to the point of this encounter.

This time, Zygalvis stepped up to answer, "You have a treasure that belongs to us. Or, perhaps you simply know where this treasure is and don't have it on board this ship. Regardless, until you give us this treasure of yours, your second mate is going to remain with us."

"We have no such thing. I will not allow you to use (Name) to gain something I cannot give you."

Both Leon and Zyglavis had valid information that told them otherwise. Knowing that this was a lie, Zyglavis nodded his head once. "We understand your hesitance. Perhaps this treasure is more valuable than your navigator. In any case, we'll be taking him. Should you change your mind we'll be waiting." My eyes widened as I was lifted off of my feet by the larger, white haired member of Zyglavis' crew. They were going to take me and my captain wasn’t doing anything.

I felt helpless in the arms of my captor before a gunshot rang out and everyone fell silent. Turning my head, I swallowed nervously at the horrifyingly enraged look on Zyglavis’ face. He turned slowly, his back now towards me as he faced my captain who held a pistol in his hand, aimed at Zyglavis who now sported a hole in his hat. A shiver went down my spine as I heard his low promise, “You’ve made a grave mistake.”

“You’re not taking that boy!” 

I never thought my crew would be so concerned over my well-being… regardless of rank. But inwardly, I knew that wasn’t it. My captain was greedy, above all else. Despite my hate for him, I was in danger on any other pirate ship. My abduction could not happen. I kicked the chest of my captor, who was caught off guard. Gasping for a breath, he knelt down so he wouldn’t lose his balance with me on the boarding ramp. 

Finally free, I was prepared to send a second blow to his head and send him overboard if not for the loud explosion that rang out, shaking both ships and nearly sending me tumbling over the side of the ramp. My wide eyes searched frantically where the smoke was coming from. “He’s firing at such a close distance? He’ll sink his ship too!” Captain Zyglavis was crazy…

But maybe he wasn’t as crazy as my crew who were being devastated by these two opposing pirate crews. There were only a handful of my crew mates present; they couldn't fight all of these pirates and save me before I was taken. Was I worth that much? "Captain..." Whatever treasure these guys were looking for might be in their hands soon with the way they were mercilessly attacking.

Steeling myself for battle, I braced myself to return to the damaged ship. But, I wasn’t allowed to make it halfway across the ramp before arms swallowed me yet again and a sword was pressed against my chest. Karno, Leon’s first mate, had been observing this battle very keenly. More so, my inability to do much fighting. Unless I considered that little scuffle with Leon a fight. But he wasn’t going to let me run off when the battle was nearing its end. Holding me firmly against him, he commented, “You must be a valuable little goldfish. I wonder what you could be holding in that head of yours to warrant all this bloodshed. I wonder if we’ve already gotten hold of the treasure map we were looking for.”

I pursed my lips, determined not to speak to him. He was smart… but I wasn’t sure that I was actually what they were looking for. I was more like a bonus tool for future exploits. Noting how I wasn’t going to say more, he made sure that I was tied securely to the mast before leaving me alone to sail the ship per Leon's orders.

All I could do was sit hopelessly and listen to the devastation of my own crew. Zyglavis would leave nothing to salvage. If there was anything or anyone left, they didn’t have a chance at getting me back. But was this even necessary? These pirates could have just left with me. They didn’t need to sink our ship… My captain didn’t need to shoot at Zyglavis. Not only did it spell doom for the crew, but me as well. I was a prisoner to the most infamous pirates in the world. 

"Hey..." I looked up as a kind voice quietly spoke to me, the pirate kneeling to my height. "Don't look too frightened. We'll make sure you're taken care of until we let you go. My name's Dui."

His brown eyes were so kind. If this were anything but me being taken captive then I might have considered befriending this kind pirate. Allies never hurt. But things weren't like that and I wasn't talking to these enemies. I looked away with an irked huff.

"Ah, Dui, maybe you shouldn't be so close to him! He’s injured!" Ichthys rushed over, nearly panicking as he tried to usher Dui away. 

I didn't really understand the panic over a little cut... until for whatever reason, Dui snapped. It was like a switch flipped in him. His pupils shrunk as he glared down at me. "This goldfish... we haven't taken care of him yet? What are you taking so long for?" He studied me closely for a moment. "Oh. Unless you're just refusing to give us what we want. Pfft. They're a bunch of softies, not being able to handle a pathetic goldfish like you! C'mon! Let's see what we can get out of you! What's your position on that ship of yours?! What kind of secrets are you hiding?!"

I bit back a startled yelp as he pulled out his sword and swung down on me, miraculously only cutting the ropes. But the sword wasn't lowered and stayed trained on me. I stuttered out, "I- I was the second mate, I read maps and navigated and sometimes I helped cook. I don't know anything! What are you-”

"Useless." Without warning, he sheathed his sword and lifted me into his arms.

Ichthys immediately tugged on Dui's arm, momentarily saving me. "Wait, Shadow, put him down! Zyglavis is still using him!"

Without concern, Dui shoved Ichthys into the mast and carried me straight to the railing where the waters raged below the sailing ship. "Still don't know anything?"

I screamed, latching onto his shirt as he pretended like he was going to throw me over into the raging water that was tainted with debris from the recent battle. "There's an island! The captain has maps of an island with a treasure!" I wasn't sure what they were looking for, but I knew that specific island was said to have a treasure that many pirates died trying to find. We'd never really gone because of the frozen waters that made it difficult to get ships through. "There's treasure there that the Captain wants. I swear that's all I know! Put me down!"

"Treasure?" Dui repeated, wanting me to elaborate.

"Shadow, put the goldfish down!" Dui sighed as he turned around, looking up at Zyglavis with a disappointed face now that his fun was ruined. He dropped me to my feet without further prompting and I was left shivering in front of Zyglavis. His cold eyes were glued on me as he finally commanded, "You mentioned an island that held a treasure. Direct us to it."

I crossed my arms indignantly despite how I was still shaken up. He just tore apart my crew like it was nothing. Yet, just like the stories… his ship was undamaged. "Do I look like one of your lackeys? I'm being held captive and I was nearly thrown overboard. Excuse me when I say that I refuse to cooperate with any of you."

"We're not giving you a choice. You either give us what we ask or you can find yourself spending your time in an uncomfortable cell well below deck."

"Oh. Were you trying to be civilized when you destroyed my home?" 

There was a tense silence between us and he finally responded to my goading, "We can be uncivilized if that's what you'd prefer. Or," He added, more intent on having my free cooperation. "You could do as we ask and you'll be returned to your crew unharmed. If you had been paying attention, they’re alive and on shore."

Heeding his words, my desperate gaze shifted back to the land that was steadily getting smaller. Even from a distance, I could see the chaos that was still going on. It would take some time for them to recover… but those that survived would band together again.

Zyglavis was clearly threatening me and I was sure what Dui just tried to do to me would pale in comparison to Zyglavis' treatment. I didn't have many choices. I could either wait for my captain to cooperate, resulting in me having an unpleasant stay with Captain Zyglavis and Captain Leon, or I could do what would inevitably happen and just tell them where the supposed treasure was. Either way this ended with them winning. "I don't know if it's what you're looking for… But give me a map of the northern sea. I'll find your treasure and you'll take me home.”

"I'm glad you're being sensible about this," he commented as he turned to his first mate who was wholly glaring at me—the same one who held the dagger up to my neck just a short while ago. "Scorpio, get the map he requested. Tell Krioff to come here. We'll need him."

***

It was a long journey to the island. It would take at least two weeks or more at the rate we were going, not to mention we had to stop, switch to their larger ship, the Zodiac, and resupply before making the long journey across the ocean. But with my cooperation, they surprisingly kept their promise and I was allowed to stay in a room that was adjacent to Captain Zyglavis. It was almost like a guest room of sorts, only it wasn't specifically for my comfort. I was placed so close to the captain's quarters purely so he and Leon could keep an eye on me during the nights.

Still, I was thankful that I didn't have to share a room with anyone, or that they didn't have to have me under surveillance 24/7. It was hard enough being a captive to pirates, but I was well aware that women didn't always get the best treatment. I was lucky enough with my crew to have the favoritism of the captain. But these guys… I had to keep up a manly facade for as long as possible. I didn't want to know what they'd do if they found out… Especially that infamous wild sea lion.

But the crew... they at least seemed to like me. I began to help around in the kitchen as soon as they trusted I wasn't going to skewer anyone with a knife. It was something to do, and they seemed to like my food opposed to the usual spice they got when Karno was their chef.

“Hm… I don't understand,” Karno muttered, his eyes peeled on the fish that I was busy grilling. “How could you possibly make something have flavor if you don't add any flavor to it?”

“I am adding flavor,” I argued, gesturing to the array of spices on the shelf that I doubt he ever even looked at. “There are more kinds of spice than the ones you use. Where the hell do you even get them imported from? I've never had something so horrible before… I swear I wanted to drink the whole ocean after I ate your dishes.”

“I have to disagree,” he hastily argued with me, not looking pleased that I basically said his food was disgusting. 

“Your crew mates have to disagree,” I insisted. “Karno, are you the only chef between you guys?”

He wanted to remain silent, but he wasn't the only one to cook meals. “Huedhaut sometimes cooks for the Captain, and Partheno and Tauxolouve will cook when I have other duties. But I don't understand what you're getting at. They've always eaten my food.”

“No complaints?”

“Well…”

His hesitation was enough to answer me and I huffed in amusement. Turning the fork over in my hand, I held out the handle of the fork to Karno. “C’mere. I'll show you how to season your food without poisoning your crew.”

He faltered as my hand wrapped around his wrist, tugging him in front of the stove. Watching my careful motions as I guided him between his familiar spices and seasonings that lined the shelf, he was curious.

“(Name),” he called my name suddenly, making me pause to listen. “Where'd you learn to cook? You seem to know your way around the kitchen.”

I fiddled with the fork I had pulled from the drawer, poking uselessly at the fish. “Just another trade I picked up on the water. I felt useless when I first became a pirate. I only knew a few skills like map reading and using the sky to navigate. So I became a pretty prized navigator over time. But… I like to consider myself a jack of all trades.”

“Well, I sure hope we didn't steal your crew’s only top chef.” He made the joke as a means of making light conversation, but he hadn't intended for me to look so uncomfortable with the topic of my other crew. But when he thought about it, he was the first mate of his crew. It could have been seen as him trying to pry for information. “I hadn't meant to make you uncomfortable. Why don't we just-”

“If you're willing to listen…” I paused, turning over the grilling fish. “Do you think,” I fell silent again. He was just another pirate… I pursed my lips. There's no way he'd keep a secret, even from his captain.

Karno glanced around before sliding the door closed, returning to my side, helping me with the cooking as he followed my motions. “Some things need to be kept quiet, right? I'm willing to give my advice or lend an ear. It's just a few of my personal duties.”

I sighed. He was fairly insightful compared to how dense he was in regards to the tastebuds of the crew. “Then… I just want to compliment this ship and its crew. You value each other and… It's nice. I'm just a captive but even I sort of feel at home here.”

“I see.” Now Karno was getting a better picture of where I was from. From what they found out, my crew didn't have the best reputation. In fact, they were just lucky Zyglavis didn't choose to kill them all and ask questions later. I was seeing what a good crew looked like for the first time. “Your crew doesn't value you as a member, does it?” 

He was very insightful. I hadn't even said much regarding my own crew but he connected the dots so easily. No wonder he was the first mate of his crew… Though, he sounded as if he had more duties than usually entailed to a first mate. “I'm Captain's favorite tool… Not much different than now. I'm just a means to an end.” I had vague thoughts of wanting to join this crew, but I knew my gender was the only thing stopping me from requesting to basically jump ship.

“Leon and Zyglavis might seem like they're doing nothing more than using you,” Karno started carefully, his eyes trailing over to check my expression. “But they're going to take care of you. Until we return you, you'll be treated as one of us.”

I hummed, grabbing some plates to start fixing the meals. “Thanks. I'll, uh, do my best…” Maybe if I really impressed them then I wouldn't have to go back…

***

They were more than certainly a lively crew. Meals were always full of food, laughter, and booze, but it seemed that even a seemingly quiet night could turn noisy in an instant. 

I was quietly sitting in their meeting room, reviewing the various maps they had provided me with. There were lots of dangerous places to avoid. But if I marked them out then Scorpio and Krioff could easily avoid them and get us to our destination. Their jobs just depended on me getting this right. 

I flinched as the door slammed open, rattling the bulletin board on the wall. Ichthys pointed at me with so much conviction in his eyes that I swore I did some unforgivable crime. But before I could ask, he announced, “You! You're going through a rite of passage!”

“A- A what?” I blinked. I was just a captive, what did I need a rite of passage for? It's not like they'd kick me off their ship if I failed… right?

Without having time to question their antics, Teorus pulled the book out of my hands, laying it on top of the various maps I was going over. Ichthys, on the other hand, grabbed my arm, tugging me between the two of them as they took me up onto the deck where there seemed to be quite the commotion. They had benches set up around the center of the deck and a good portion of the crew were gathered around. 

I glanced at Ichthys who pulled me away from my studying. "What's going on?"

He grinned at me excitedly, "You're going to battle!”

I faltered, immediately trying to pull away from the set-up sparring ring. The last time I sparred with anyone from their crew… it was their captain. Leon told me himself that I was nothing compared to his crew. “Hold on- Wait, I'm not fighting anyone.”

Teorus tugged my opposite arm along with Ichthys, mercilessly tugging me to the crowd where they shoved a sword in my hands. “Sure you are,” Teorus encouraged carelessly. “It's just for fun. We want to see how you really fight. We didn't get to see your fight with Leo. Besides, you'll never be a man if you don’t win a fight.”

“I’d rather not repeat that, thanks! I’m fine with being a goldfish, in this case.” I tried to shove the sword into Ichthys’ arms, but he just wrapped my hands around it, shoving it back into my chest.

Helplessly, my eyes met Karno’s and he simply laughed at my state. “You don't have to win. They just want to see what you can do.”

“I can't do much, I swear!” Despite how I was pleading to leave, they were quick to usher me in the middle of their man-made circle. “I'm really not a fighter! Is this necessary?”

Aigonorus suggested lazily, “If you're that worried, you can fight Dui. He's not good at fighting either.”

Dui? I was pretty sure I only met him once when he tried to throw me overboard. Are they sure he wasn't a fighter?

Still, just as I was horrified to be shoved in the middle of their circle, Dui didn't seem too thrilled to be the center of attention either. “Krioff, can't you help me out here?”

“No,” Krioff shook his head. “Once you're in the circle, there's no getting out until someone wins.”

“That's not fair,” Dui pouted at being stuck in the fight. “You guys told me I wouldn't have to do this again!”

“Be a good sport,” Ichthys cheered on his best friend. “(Name) needs someone on his level that he can go at! Come on, are you boys or are you men?”

My eyes widened as our gazes locked together. After an awkward moment of silence between us, I offered, “I forfeit. You can win.”

“Heeeey!” Ichthys angrily shouted at me, “No forfeiting! No one's leaving this circle until I need to come in with bandages!” 

My wide eyes moved back to Ichthys, hoping I was just hearing things. “Please tell me you're not the medic…”

“Yup! I sure am!”

I groaned in distress, turning back toward Dui who was looking back at me with equal unease. I pleaded quietly, “Please, take it easy on me. I don’t want my life to rest in his hands.”

“If it makes you feel better,” Dui offered with a slight smile of encouragement. “He’s not the head-medic. Huedhaut’s in charge of that.”

My eyes narrowed on Dui who seemed to be adjusting his grip on his sword more seriously. “I guess that’s your way of telling me you won’t take it easy on me… I’ll try not to make it too easy for you then.” Dui was about my size, but I wasn’t sure that they realized being a female left me more nimble than they were. His motions were wider and more open compared to mine. I also wasn’t entirely incompetent with a blade, which gave me the advantage in this case. I slipped past Dui and had my sword beside his neck in one swift motion. 

For a moment… I felt like I had an opportunity to get revenge for all my fallen crewmates. But the eager cheers of the pirates around me pulled me out of my thoughts and I nudged the back of his head with the handle to show that I had won the fight. I tossed the blade aside as soon as I had the opportunity of being declared the winner, but Dui regarded my frustration with curiosity. “(Name)...?”

Ignoring him, I ducked out of the rambunctious crowd of pirates who were already setting up for their next match. It seemed like it was going to be a long night of battles for them. Their energy was refreshing, but it wasn’t something I felt that I had any right to enjoy. They weren’t my crew and if any accidents were to occur… Well, they weren't going to catch my secret just yet. 

“Tch, what are you doin’ up here?” Scorpio’s voice called out, making my eyes shoot up in panic. There were only a handful of pirates I didn’t want to tick off on this ship and he happened to be one of them. I hadn’t realized I’d walked all the way up into his territory until he started glaring at me with those fierce eyes. It wasn’t a wonder that he was an assassin at one point in his life. 

“Sorry,” I instantly apologized. “I didn’t mean to bother you. I was just getting space from…” I glanced back silently at the wild pirates. 

Instantly, Scorpio understood what I was wandering about for. “Hey,” he called out, grabbing my attention again. This time, he didn’t seem so hostile. “How long ‘till we get there?” 

I hummed. Being one of the navigators for this crew I assumed he’d know something like that. Unless… he was just testing me? “I think… a week at least? That depends on how fast this ship can sail. Just because the course is charted doesn’t mean we’ll get there as fast as I think. The air is only just starting to get cold. So, tell me, how long is this going to take?”

“Smart ass,” he muttered, his eyes staying locked on the dark waters ahead. “This ship’ll get us there in a few days now. She’s fast enough for you.”

I hummed, leaning on the railing as I gazed up at the sky. “I guess she is. The sooner we get in, the sooner we can get out. And the sooner I can go home…”

“You don't sound eager.”

I shrugged. Scorpio was one of the scarier gods on board the ship despite how I had to work with him to set our course for the treasure. Despite how reliable he was, I was hesitant to say much about my situation. I'd had the perfect opportunity to say what was on my mind back when I was cooking with Karno. I certainly wasn't going to say it to this foul-mouthed pirate. “A home is a home.”

His eyes stayed locked onto me for a moment longer. He had a feeling there was more to it than that, but he wasn’t about to push for information. In the end, I was just their captive.

***

I crossed my arms, desperately rubbing the chill from out of my bones. The cutting wind did nothing to help me warm up, but I was stuck out on the deck in this god-forsaken weather thanks to the two captains who thought I needed to be there to help survey and note our surroundings. As things were, the ship could no longer move forward and we’d need to row the rest of the way to the frozen landscape ahead.

I fidgeted, my eyes narrowing as I scanned the freshly fallen snow on a nearby iceberg. I grimaced, half listening to their conversation that suddenly concerned me. Poking my mouth out from behind my warm scarf, I hissed, “You think I’m leaving this ship to go out there with you? Hey, I led you here, but that’s your funeral if you want to go out treasure hunting.”

“We’re trying to avoid unnecessary troubles,” Karno tried to reassure me, adding, “That’s why we need you to go with us. We need someone familiar with the island-”

“I’m not,” I interrupted him without a second thought, causing him to sigh. It wasn’t that I wanted to be difficult with them, I just wanted nothing to do with an island that was nothing but dead trees, snow, and rocks. All of my survival skills were useless in a place like that. “I’ve read about this place, sure, but I don’t know enough to ensure that we all make it out alive. If you’re going then you’re going without me.”

“I disagree,” Leon called out, immediately earning a glare from me. “I’m going to that island and you’re coming with me. We’ll see what a prized navigator you are on land.”

My eyes narrowed, but I knew if I kept arguing with him that it would only lead to them simply tying me up and forcing me along. Griping quietly to myself, I muttered, “You’re ridiculous. We’re going to die.”

Leon still didn’t seem too fazed with my complaints, simply brushing me off by saying, “I think you forget who you’re traveling with, goldfish.” Flicking his wrist in a gesture for me to leave, he ordered, “Tell Teorus to get you more clothes. It’s going to be colder in the snow.” His tone was blunt, warning against any disobedience. 

I glared at him, our eyes locked in a heatedly silent war before I broke eye contact and stormed off into the ship. “This is not in my job description,” I muttered to myself as I began the search for Teorus. These Captains were insufferable, though I was sure Leon was the worst when it came to ordering people around like he was some kind of tyrannical king. I was convinced Zyglavis was going to be the rough one to deal with at sea—I was sorely mistaken. The only thing I could do under these conditions was to prepare myself for the frozen hellscape outside.

***

I shivered, trying to rub warmth into my arms as we rowed across the icy waters, leaving behind the large ship. It wasn't that Teorus hadn't given me enough clothes… But that it was just too damn cold. 

It was me, Leon, Karno, Dui, and Krioff sailing out to the frozen island. We were separated into two groups. Karno, the first mate, teamed up with two members of Zyglavis’ crew, and Captain Leon teamed up with the unfortunate little me.

Taking notice of my shivering, Karno asked, "Do you need another jacket?" 

I glanced at him and noticed that he was prepared to take off his jacket for me. Why couldn't I have been put on Karno’s team? I lamented my loss, but I quickly shook my head. “N- No. It's fine. I'm just a little chilled... You'll be cold if you take your jacket off.” Besides, Leon would only get upset if I made his first mate get sick just because I didn't dress warmly enough like he told me to.

A yelp escaped my lips as something obscured my vision and I was left in the dark. My eyes widened and I looked up as it lifted slightly enough for me to see and settled on my head at an awkward angle. “Wear that to keep your head warm. If you take it off I’ll consider cutting off your hands.”

Taking heed to Leon’s warning, I tried to look up at the warm thing he placed on my head, only to realize his hat was gone from his head, leading me to the conclusion that his hat was on my head. Leon's hat was on my head, his precious pirate cap. I buried my red cheeks into my scarf, whispering a quiet thanks. 

He could be rude, he could be commanding, he could be overbearing, but he could be very kind where he didn't need to be. Leon was an enigma that I failed to understand. Or maybe this was just his apology for dragging me off of the ship. 

…as if that guy knew what an apology was.

Still, this man never failed to confound me. 

***

“Leon, stop,” Leon paused to regard me, taking in my wary expression. “It’s not solid here. One wrong step and we could fall through the ice.” I could feel the subtle vibrations caused by our footsteps. A wrong move could send us to our doom, but the chances of that weren't high. As long as there were no immediate cracks or splintering then we should be fine. 

Kneeling down, he tapped the ice realizing that I was right. We were standing over something hollow. He certainly didn't want to find out if there was water beneath us or not. Rising back to his feet, he glanced up and down the path we had been following. “Is there another way around this part?”

It was no use looking at the map they provided me. This island wasn’t something they had much information on. What they did have, proved useless in a moment like this. I had to try and piece this island together from memory. “Hold on…” I dropped my bag by his feet before I began to scale a boulder that was thoroughly covered in frozen ice and snow. 

“What are you doing?”

He didn’t sound too impressed with me, watching as I precariously balanced myself on top of the steep surface. “I’m searching. I had a feeling about this island so I made sure to study it. It's hard to map snow and ice but... If this is what I think it is, we should be standing... In the middle of a river. And that,” I pointed to the steep plateau on the other side of the river. “That has to be an inactive supervolcano which must have been flattened out by years of weathering. We’re getting closer to the east side of the island which is where the others should be on route to.”

“You have no concrete idea on where this treasure may be?”

I shook my head while I tried to climb back down without falling into the snow. “The notes said it would be more toward the center of the island, I think. But if we go any more west we’ll be farther over that river, exactly where we don’t want to end up if this ice proves unstable.”

Leon’s eyes narrowed as he commented, “You never mentioned that there was a river here.”

“Well... I didn’t think it would be important. It’s so cold that I thought it would have been frozen solid with layers of ice and snow packed on top.” I huffed as I picked my bag back up and slung it over my shoulder. “I wasn’t expecting the ice to be so shockingly thin for a place that’s so cold. Unless... it froze over and then the water receded. That would just mean that there are caverns beneath us.”

Leon’s eyes pierced into me fiercely as he followed me through the snow, quickly grasping the back of my coat and dragging me to a halt. The sudden stop made his hat fall over my eyes and I pushed it up just in time to find him shooting me an unpleasant gaze. “A good navigator tells their crew everything they know. I have men out there that don't know anything about this terrain.”

“I hadn't considered this!” I snapped, glaring at him as I pulled my arm out of his hand. “And don't consider me your crew! If they die out here that's your fault! I told you it was dangerous! If your navigator, Krioff, is worth anything, he should've noticed!” Refusing to let him blame me for the lives at stake, I turned and stormed away, “Find the stupid treasure on your own! I'm going back to the ship.”

“We’re not finished here!”

“I am! I’ve had it with your stupid treasure hunt! I’ve had it with your crummy attitude! You can stay on this island and die for all I care!” It was silent as I continued to storm away. Usually Leon would tease my anger with some kind of casual retort or yell and threaten me. I didn’t get any of that. I only got the sensation of the ground shaking violently as I tripped into the snow, the pirate cap completely flying from my head and onto the ground. Looking up, I warily glanced back at where Leon was supposed to be. “Leon...?” There was no answer and I quickly stood to my feet, prepared to run back to where I last saw him. “Captain?!”

“Don’t-” I froze at the sudden word. Where was he? “Don’t come closer! You’ll make it worse!” I glanced down at the ice and noticed that it was splintering in my direction. The sudden tremors that shook the island must have loosened the ice beneath him enough to make a decent size hole for him to fall through. But I relaxed slightly as I saw him lifting himself out of the cracked ice. “Don’t just stand there, you stupid goldfish. Get off the ice. Move!”

He didn’t have to tell me twice as the ice shifted beneath me. Running as fast as I could through the snow, I slid to a halt. What would I do if Leon fell through the ice? He would probably drown and die. Would they blame me for his death if I made it back without him? But I just said I didn’t care if he died…

But... If I didn't help him then his death would be on my hands... and he wasn’t a bad captain. He took care of his crew. They were so nice to me. Why did I have to be so rude to them? Leon did a lot to keep me warm and fed and hydrated. 

Damn it! Couldn't he have been a bad guy for me to leave for dead? 

He may have told me to go, but I wasn’t going anywhere without him. Turning back I noticed he had yet to pull himself out of the crack in the ice. It was too slippery for him to climb out on his own. “Leo!”

Dropping my bag beside his hat, I ran back to him, surprising him by taking his hand.The last thing he was expecting was for me to grab his arm, trying to lift him out. “I thought I told you to leave!”

“Don't worry, I will. But not before you’re safe.” He wasn’t about to argue as it was easier to climb out with me digging my heels into the ice to pull him up. He didn't deserve to die out here in this frozen wasteland. A great captain like Leon had better places to meet his demise.

Successfully lifting him out of the hole, the sudden slack of his body being freed caused me to slide to the ground soon after. I was relieved to feel that the ice wasn't cracking further beneath us, which meant we could safely make our way off of the river.

“You're supposed to listen to a Captain’s orders.” He grumbled as he tried to brush off the snow that was on him, watching me also rise to my feet to get the snow off of me.

“Well,” I tried to excuse myself with a teasing smile despite my labored breaths, “You could make up your mind. I tried to leave and you told me to stay. I tried to come back and you told me to leave. You're a pretty fickle captain.” At one point I would have fought him, I would have left him to die, I would have told him he wasn't even my captain to listen to. But after spending so much time with him, I was getting a feel for his personality and he wasn't nearly as arrogant as he tried to be. Trying to rectify what I said earlier, I suggested, “Do you want to go find them? I know what path they’re taking, so they shouldn’t be getting to the river just yet. Alternatively, we made it this far and could scope out one more place before we move on. Of course, I think Karno-”

“Hold on.” I paused to regard him as he looked contemplative. He didn’t seem worried or even half as emotional as he was before, and he came to a quick decision. “They can take care of each other with Krioff guiding them. You said you had an idea on where the treasure might be. It’s better for us to get this over with and leave so no one’s in further danger.”

My eyebrows furrowed as I tried to understand his motives. It made sense, following my suggestion, but he was letting the other team continue on without warning that the river was splintering. Still, part of me was hoping he’d call this wild-treasure-hunt off. I let out a dry laugh. “Yeah… They can take care of themselves. I think I know where the treasure is, so we can make a quick trip. Though, I thought after almost dying you might have reconsidered keeping us out here in this deadly environment.” I continued to mutter minor complaints to myself as I stormed down the path of the river. 

His eyes, however, never left me. If he had any sort of further explanation for me, he kept silent about it. Instead, after snatching his hat off of the ground, it was a quiet journey to the center of the river. It seemed I was correct in assuming where the treasure would be since there was an even smaller island that was situated at its very center—a pretty conspicuous place to hide riches.

It didn’t take long for us to find what treasure there was. It wasn’t much, but it seemed priceless enough. Some unfortunate soul probably thought it’d be safe on the island; that certainly wasn’t the case from these Zodiac pirates.

I was relieved we were finally leaving, as I was only growing more and more agitated being around Leon and his care-free attitude. It was as if he couldn't care less that we were in a life-threatening environment. 

But as I was walking and silently griping to myself, I heard a crisp crunching sound, making me pause to listen. Glancing down my eyes widened and I dared not move. Leon was still walking, oblivious to the literal thin ice I was on. I was afraid to even breathe with how splintered the ice had become. This was just my rotten luck to end up in such danger with a heavy load of gold on my shoulders. “L- Leo... The ice.”

He whirled on his heel to take in my situation. His eyes flickered to my feet, unable to see the danger himself from where he stood. “Can I reach you?”

“No…” I glanced around the ice that I was standing on but everything looked the same. “It’s not like what you fell through. The ice is probably too thin to support my weight and the added weight of the treasure. It's going to finish breaking. I'll fall through if I move.”

He assessed the ice I was standing on before seeing how still I was trying to balance the bag of treasure on my shoulder. “Can you give me your bag? You should be able to move without the extra weight.”

I shook my head slowly. “I can't make any sudden movements.” It was taking everything in me to keep myself from shivering from both fear and the chill that was settling in my bones. I bit my lip, but I couldn't think of a single way to get off the ice without falling through. “I can toss you your treasure, but I'm... not getting out of this.”

“That wasn't the deal,” he growled, not consenting to my plan. “We found the treasure, now we're going to send you back to your crew. We promised you as much for your cooperation.”

“You don't have a choice! Either you leave with the treasure or you stay here and die with me!”

“Just reach out your hand.” Leon extended his hand to me. His feet were firmly planted on a thick layer of ice, his eyes imploring me to listen. We were so close to the bank, why did something like this have to happen now? For once, he didn't look like the cruel pirate captain that took me captive. He looked like a pirate captain that was genuinely concerned about my life and keeping his promise. “(Name).” My eyes snapped up at his soft voice. He said my name... He never called me anything other than ‘Goldfish’. His eyes locked with mine as he tried to reach further. “Trust me. Take my hand. I'll catch you.”

I desperately searched his eyes. He was too far; But I had to try with his tempting promise. I reached out slowly, the ice crunching testingly under my movements. The slight shift of weight was putting a strain on the thin ice that was struggling to hold together. My fingers were just about to meet his, but the ground shook. “Leo-” The ice beneath me gave out and I fell forward. I wasn't sure if I blacked out after my head collided with the ice but I felt a sharp pain and then there was darkness. 

Was I unconscious or was I just buried under the river? Was this it for me? The end was quite a bleak one, if I was being honest. It was just as dark and cold as my last moments alive were. 

Faintly... I heard someone calling my name. Why was everything echoing around me? Was this what the after life was like? 

For a moment the world felt like it was spinning. But after that? Stillness. Silence. Throbbing. “Mm- Ow-” Nope. This didn't feel like an after life. 

“Idiot, don't touch it. I just bandaged it.” Hands roughly pulled my hands down, pinning them to the ground until I stilled. I waited another few moments before I willed my heavy eyelids to open. It was so cold I almost couldn't bring myself to fully wake up, wanting nothing more than to fall back into the warm embrace of sleep. But finally getting a look at our surroundings, I realized there was a fire ablaze beside me. That explained why that side of me felt warmer than the other. Instinctively, I tried to get closer, but I was chastised yet again, “Don't do that. The last thing I need is for you to catch fire.”

“Captain?”

He hummed before explaining, “We fell through the ice. There was an avalanche after the Earth started shaking. It wasn't bad, but the rest of the ice covering the river collapsed too. You were right about your theory. There are caves where water used to run beneath the island. It was the only place I could start a fire for us. Now that the river is exposed, they'll find us eventually.”

My head was pounding as I lifted myself off of the flat ground and pulled myself against the wall. Leon didn't look much better than I felt. His leg was wrapped up and he had blood on his face and hands. But I realized that there was also something wrapped around my head. I blinked in confusion. Was I bleeding? Did I get hurt? But then... Leon would have had to drag both me and our stuff to this cave to start a fire. “Did you take us here?”

He scoffed, not blessing me with an answer as he spoke, “Don't thank me. I'm just keeping my goldfish in one piece. We can't give you back to your crew if you're not alive.”

“You told me before…” I started awkwardly, feeling bad that Leon went through all this trouble in his injured state, “That I'd never make it as part of your crew. The guys from my crew tell me that all the time, especially when I can’t help out with their pillaging and plundering. I'm not a very good pirate... But the captain has some kind of use for me—that's what I'm always being told. And then you guys came along and it's the same thing. I'll never cut it, but I have use so I'm not expendable. But you have your treasure! You got what you used me for but for some reason you didn't leave me to die, not even after I asked. I don’t think… you’re a bad captain. All of your crew, they don't have a particular use, but you care about their lives.”

“Yeah, you're useful to us.” He huffed but he didn't say anything more for a few moments. But I picked up that, oddly, he wasn't even speaking in past tense. “You're just a goldfish but for some reason you could get both the Wishes and Punisher crew to work together. I've been thinking about this ever since I found you in the ice. I don't think that damned King wanted us to find jewels. I'm starting to think you were the treasure we were tasked to find. That's why you were the only one on that ship. The King wanted our crews to cooperate. Not a stupid plan considering how powerful we are when all twelve of us are sailing. We’re Zodiac pirates and that’s how it should be.”

He wasn't outwardly saying it, but he was practically singing my praises. But... What did that mean for me? “I'm... sorry for the way I acted before. You can only imagine what being abducted feels like.”

He scoffed with an amused smirk. “I guess we could have been softer on a little goldfish like you.”

“Well, you do have a reputation to keep,” I quietly defended for him. Though, I suppose that was just him trying to make me feel better. As I stared into the flickering flames, we fell into a comfortable silence. Still, as much as I didn’t want to actually catch on fire, I was longing to get closer. I felt far too cold to feel the fire’s warmth.

Leon seemed to take notice of my condition as I was being too still and quiet for him. “Come here.”

My dazed eyes met his and I tilted my head in question. “What?” Did he mean… he wanted me to sit next to him? No way. Surely my thought process was just as frozen as the rest of me.

“You're not warm,” he pointed out. “It doesn’t take a scholar to see that. Come here.” He wasn't exactly patient as he glared at me me and questioned, “Are you going to make me crawl over there like this? You’ve got some nerve, boy.”

I quickly shook my head, seeing his grimace as he tried to move over to me. “No, no! You're hurt! Don't move around so much.” My head spun as I did as he asked and moved over to him. Kneeling in front of him, I was surprised when he pulled me against him, removing my jacket in the process. Swatting his hands away, I hissed, “H- Hey! What are you doing?!”

He hissed in pain when my knee dug into his wrapped leg, pausing his movements as he growled, “Stop fighting, goldfish. Damn, that hurt... Do you want to stay warm or not?” He reclined against his bag, glaring at me for fighting him. He obviously wasn't trying to do me any harm. But if I was so intent on putting up a good fight, then he was going to sit there and wait for me to go to him for help.

“Sorry…” I timidly apologized. He was the one giving me the wrong idea… I pouted. “What was I supposed to think? You were suddenly grabbing at my clothes.”

“You need to learn to trust me.” His voice was quiet as he pulled me against him more gently now that I was willing. However… he paused before resting me against him. His eyes lingered on the bright red color that stained my shirt. This time he did grab my shirt and he had to pin me down thanks to my frantic fight against him. This time, it was deliberate to get him off of me. But similar to our first fight, my wrists were captured above my head as he raised my shirt up to my neck. “You were injured?” Well, that was the only reason he could understand bandages. Unless…

“It’s… It’s just old injuries—don’t worry about it.”

Clearly, I was uncomfortable with bringing this up and this was clearly no place to be addressing such a thing. Leon had his suspicions, but he silently agreed with me, something I appreciated. Instead, he loosened his grip, changing the tone of the conversation. “I hadn’t noticed. The ice must have dug into your ribs when you landed. I have spare bandages you can use until we get back to the ship.” 

For the moment, at least, my gender was safe. I counted this interaction as something fortunate. There were more important things to worry about and he needed my calm cooperation if we were going to survive. Sitting close by one another, he had me hold my shirt up as he firmly covered my ribs with bandages. “Um… Thanks for helping. I’ll try not to stress you out anymore.” 

If he had any suspicions about me being a woman, he didn’t say anything as he offered his hand to me. This time, now that he was sure of my injuries being cared for, he was more confident in his decision to pull me against his chest. Still, I wasn’t sure why he felt the need to excuse his actions, “You’ll be warmer this way, and you can get some rest. I’m sure hitting your head didn’t do you any favors.” He wrapped my jacket around me, putting his arms through the sleeves as he held me snugly against him. “I’ll take care of you.” I could have sworn he said my name, but the warmth radiating from him was pulling me into a comfortable sleep as I nuzzled my face into his chest. 

This, Leon realized, was the reason something seemed off when we first met. He had taken me for a boy this entire time… But through our sparse contact, he recognized the gentle curves of a woman. Strange, he couldn’t help but huff in amusement. I fooled ships of men into thinking I was just another pirate boy. He couldn’t fanthom my reasonings for choosing the life I chose, but he had to admit I did a damn good job.

***

Karno was beside himself with worry. He was acting captain of his crew as long as Leon was gone, but he didn't want to be captain forever. Leon and I had been missing for a few days. It was supposed to take at least a day to find the treasure and report back to the ship. But we'd been out there for double that time, prompting a search party shortly after the Earthquakes. Of course, Dui, Krioff, and Karno weren't as affected by the shaking ground since they were a good distance away from the plateau and the river. They were just worried about me and Leon, who hadn't returned at our meeting point and still showed no signs of returning. 

“Karno!” Tauxolouve called out from the bank of the dried up river. “I think I found them. There's firelight in that cave. We need rope to get down there.” 

Karno nodded his head, hiding the obvious relief he felt as he fired a red flare into the sky. “Good job, Lou. Let’s scope out the safest place for us to get them up.”

It was work getting down into the river bed, but as soon as they made it they were relieved to find us both alive, if not a little worse for wear. But Karno couldn't help but smile slightly at the sight. I was sleeping on Leon's chest while Leon was sleeping on top of our bags, his head hanging back. But he couldn’t miss the way his captain had a protective arm around my waist, something that might seem uncharacteristic were it anyone other than Karno finding him. 

Despite how nice it was to see us cooperating, it was time to get us back where we belonged. He knelt beside us and tapped on Leon's shoulder, announcing quietly so he wouldn't disturb me, as I had an obvious head-wound, “Leo, wake up. It's time to get going.”

Leon groaned before he finally shook back into his surroundings, only slightly startled at having someone hovering over the two of us. “Karno…” His relief was short as he got to commanding his second mate, “It took you long enough to get here. Get…” He hesitated to call me by my hidden gender, choosing to momentarily keep my secret. “Get him warm so we can make the trip back to the ship." 

Karno's smile never left as Leon harshly addressed him. “Aye, captain. I'm glad to see you're feeling like yourself. The crew will be here in a moment to help carry everything. Have you found the treasure?”

Leon pursed his lips as he glanced down at me. He answered quietly, "I think so..."

***

I was delirious and suffering from occasional hallucinations, but between being awake and falling unconscious the next minute, there were numerous other things Huedhaut and Ichthys had to place their attention on. The most notable thing… being what they found when replacing my bandages to clean my wounds. 

Leaving the cleaning to Ichthys, Huedhaut turned his attention to Leon who was also bedridden in the opposite bed in the room. “I have to wonder… were you aware that our guest here is, in fact, a lady?”

“Don’t dwell on it,” Leon muttered, keeping his gaze focused on the wall ahead of him. “She didn’t want to tell me. I have to believe it’s personal. Yet… understandable. A woman her caliber would fetch a nice price, don’t you think?”

“A deplorable thought.”

“But a thought, nonetheless.” Leon finally glanced at Huedhaut from the corner of his eye. “She protected herself well. But we’re not addressing it unless she does. So until then, treat that boy as you would any of us.”

Pursing his lips, Huedhaut nodded tersely. “I’ll do my best to get his vitals stable.” Turning back to where Ichthys was trying to cool my fever, Huedhaut got back to working tirelessly to help me. The wound on my head was definitely something tricky. 

Hours passed, some better than others. Some hours were so intense that even Leon was on the verge of leaving his bed just to make sure I lived. But eventually, both pirates were glad to be able to simply sit and watch my progress. Still, with the state my head had been in, even Huedhaut couldn’t say when I would awaken. So, he left me in the capable hands of the overly-concerned captain. 

But, now that my fever broke and I was no longer suffering from cold spells, my conscious finally returned to me and I opened my eyes to get a view of where I was. Above me was a blurry ceiling, but it was still a ceiling that wasn’t made of rock and ice. I inhaled sharply, realizing that we were back on a ship, but I exhaled softly. I was glad we were rescued, even if I didn’t remember a single thing. I was just glad we weren’t still out in the ice. It was so warm being wrapped up in so many blankets. I wouldn’t mind if I stayed there forever.

“Are you going to sleep all day?”

I turned my head and found Leon watching me carefully. Him… he was the reason I was still alive and immediately, I had to pay him my respects. “C- Captain.” I sat up, but had to grip the edge of the bed with the wave of dizziness that came over me. “I-”

“What happened to ‘Leo’?” I stared in confusion at his interruption, letting out a quiet noise of confusion. “On the island, you called me Leo. What happened to that? And lay back down. You're not recovered yet. We don’t need you knocking that head of yours around.”

His words were harsh, but I knew he had my best interest at heart. I laid back against my pillows, trying to figure out how to respond. I never meant to be so informal with him, but we were in danger at the time, and I instinctively called him by his nickname. But he didn't seem angry that I called him Leo. Karno called him that all the time, but this was different. I wasn't a part of his crew.

My eyes fell onto his leg which was wrapped and propped up on its own pillows. “You got hurt really bad... Didn't you?”

“Not bad enough,” he immediately responded, his expression turning sour as he vented, “Hue simply refused to let me leave this room. Don’t think too hard on it.” His eyes trailed back to me, and he shrugged his shoulders, shaking his head at my concerned gaze. “There's no need for you to be so panicked. You didn't do this.”

“I can be worried about you, can't I?” I sighed, disappointment seeping into my voice as I averted my guilty gaze. “I can't help but feel like things could have been different if I'd just trusted you like you asked. Maybe we’d have been able to get off the ice in time.”

“Don't give me that ‘what if’ nonsense, goldfish. If you want to apologize for not listening then why don't you listen now?”

My face flushed at his obvious point but I couldn't help but feel slightly disappointed that he was calling me goldfish again. It was degrading and I was sure he didn't mean it in a kind manner. Well… I suppose it was better than him calling me woman, or some other form of gender degredation. After all, I was sure he’d seen my chest when we were back in that cave. At least, that’s what I thought. But he never brought it up. 

A fist rapped on the door before it creaked open before Zyglavis stepped in. His eyes immediately locked onto me, completely disregarding Leon. “You've kept your end of the bargain. We've already located your crew and set course-”

“No,” Leon interrupted suddenly, dragging our attention to him. “We're not done with him. If we show up to that trickster and he says that isn't the treasure we were sent to find then we'll need him.” 

“Do not call the king a trickster,” Zyglavis’ eyes narrowed, before taking his words into consideration. “If that is the case then we will need to approach this differently.”

Though they were arguing over whether or not to keep me longer, I was feeling partially relieved that I wasn't going back to my crew right away. Leon was tough, even more so than Zyglavis who was a stickler for rules, but they cared. The entire crew cared and that made me long for this sense of family that I just didn't get with my crew. My crew just wanted to use me, something that I was growing to resent the longer I spent with this protective crew. 

“Goldfish. Goldfish!” My eyes snapped to Leon who was watching me harshly, his aggression obviously stemming from his argument with Zyglavis. “Make your choice. We can return you back to your ship whenever you want. We'll leave it up to you.”

If I went back now I knew I'd never get a moments rest upon returning—not that they knew that. All they were doing was giving me a short extension of my visit. As soon as we saw their employer of a King then they’d finish their business with me. But I knew I already had my mind made up. “If it's alright with you... I'll sail with you for a bit longer. You know my crew would probably blame you for all of my injuries. I bet they’d be upset.” I wasn't so sure my crew would care about the condition I was returned in; as long as I was returned. 

Leon gave a self-satisfied smirk to Zyglavis. “There. He’s coming with us.”

Zyglavis' eyes stayed trained on me longer as if he could see right through me. But he left without further argument. Leon’s gaze flickered back to me now that we weren't bothered with extra company. “Are you hungry?” Upon quietly shaking my head, Leon argued, “Don't give me that. You haven't eaten since we were in that cave. And even then, cold beans don’t constitute as a meal.” 

My eyes widened as he pushed himself off the bed and left the room. I couldn't argue until he walked back in a few minutes later with a plate. “Cap- uh- L- Leo, shouldn't you be staying in bed? Won't Hue be angry?”

“You think I'm going to sit around and take orders from them?” His eyebrows shifted upward. “I’m the captain here.”

I hummed quietly, nodding along. “Right.” He was the captain and as I’d always witnessed since joining them, he took care of his crew above all else.

Wait… How long had it been… that I stopped seeing myself as their captive? When had I started considering them a crew that I joined? Maybe… Maybe a time in the future would come when I would join them. Just maybe.

***

Having the door not fully closed to enjoy the ocean breeze, the papers in the room fluttered quietly. I knew from various conversations that our next destination was a certain kingdom that generously praised the Zodiac Pirates. Through all my conversations, I'd yet to get the name of this Kingdom. I was sure it wasn't meant to be some big secret, but it was like pulling teeth with these guys. 

My only reason for wondering… Was because there was a particular Kingdom I was interested in…

“Hm? Oh, well, I suppose I should have expected to run into you here,” Tauxolouve's thoughtful voice addressed me as he walked into the meeting room. “Though, I have to wonder why I'm finding you here. If I'm not mistaken, this is going to be our last voyage together. Unless you're planning on making us another little treasure map as a gift for us taking such good care of you.”

He walked by, glancing over what I was looking at before heading straight for the drawers on the other end of the room. I shrugged him off. His idea wasn't a bad one, in any case. Regardless of if it was our last voyage, I had many maps memorized for treasure hunting. It wouldn't be a sin to mark a few for them. 

Shaking my head to readjust my train of thought, I answered, “I'm not against the idea of leaving a little gift, but I was just going over the new maps they pulled out. I wouldn't want to pry in any Zodiac maps and pull out anything I'm not supposed to.”

“Smart,” he hummed. “Staying on Zyglavis’ good side is the reason we live longer.”

I tilted my head and teased, “I thought drinking water is the reason we live longer.”

“That's what Huedhaut would tell you,” Lou shrugged, chuckling as he bounded off with a few papers. Though, reaching the door he paused, turning around to regard me for a moment longer. His eyes narrowed before he asked, “How old might you be?” 

I blinked, staring in confusion. Though, I had to wonder… How old was I? Rubbing my head, I finally admitted, “I'm actually not sure. I think I was stolen from my home when I was about… Eight? Was I eight? That's a difficult question.” I might've been able to remember, if my initial start to the pirate life had been under better circumstances. “Why do you want to know my age?”

“You’re young,” he replied with a curious edge to his tone. “Well, you appear youthful, in any case. Your face is beautiful and, take no offense, but not yet matured into one of a man. To be blunt, you appear soft.”

Inhaling sharply, I scanned him up and down but nothing gave me any hint as to what he was going on about. “You might offend me if I don't like your explanation. Why is my appearance so important to you?” 

His shoulders jumped, and he quickly covered up a laugh. Still, he couldn't help but wink as he gave his explanation, “Well, I'm not sure if you're aware, but I'm an artist. I'm naturally attracted to beautiful sights. When on a ship full of rugged men, I tend to long for tender beauty such as yours. Ichthys is the youngest of us, yet you seem to challenge him. I wonder which of you is older.” The corners of his lips curled up. “Well, if you're ever inclined to let me immortalize you on paper, let me know.”

***

My heart thrummed the minute I saw the view of the Kingdom ahead. It was something I'd seen only once in my life… A long time ago when I was being stolen away on a ship. Now… I was heading back for the place I hadn't been to in so long. It felt wrong to be returning like this. 

“You seem taken,” Partheno commented beside me. He joined me on deck not long ago so he could view our arrival to the dock. “Have you ever been to such a large Kingdom? There's none other like it in the world.”

“Actually,” I hesitated. Should I reveal that I'd been there before? Well, they were bound to find out anyway. Especially if we were going to be seeing their King face to face. “I've been here before. It stole my heart when I first saw the view of the Kingdom from the ocean.” 

Partheno considered me curiously before gesturing to the land ahead. “Well then, welcome back.” He paused. “But… I'd advise you to be careful once we arrive. Most things that appear pretty in nature are poisonous under the surface.”

I regarded him with similar curiosity as he fled from my side, eagerly heading to where the boarding ramp was to be placed upon arrival. Shortly, we'd be going into the city with the King’s treasure. I wondered if any of these pirates knew what that was.

Seeing how close we were drawing to shore, I anxiously fled into the safety of what was considered my room. There were lots of options placed out before me now. I could go with them as their loyal navigator and declare myself the finder of the King's treasures. I could… also get into serious trouble if things went the wrong way. I could go with them and make myself as inconspicuous as possible. 

On the other hand, I could stay in the ship and wait for everything to blow over and we'd be back on our merry way. I'd be free, charting courses wherever the wind would take us. I wasn't sure I was ready to make this decision for myself…

My eyes flickered up at hearing a knock on my door. Only, Krioff was the one standing outside when I opened it. He glanced at me before gesturing for me to follow him. “C’mon. You're coming with us to meet the King.”

“W- What?! Why me?” I wanted to stay on the ship! Why did I suddenly have to leave? I made my decision. I loved the ocean more than I loved solid land. “I'm not actually a Zodiac Pirate…”

But… Something else called me to return to this Kingdom. My morbid curiosity was what made me follow Krioff who answered, “It's a form of respect for the navigator to be there when presenting the King’s treasure. You're the one who found it. Besides, Zyglavis’ orders.”

Speaking of Zyglavis, he was waiting patiently for Krioff and I to join him. It seemed that the other pirates had already left with Leon, on their way to the palace.

His eyes peeled on me for a moment, Zyglavis made a swift gesture, leading us into the city as he recited his—more than likely—just made up rules. “Stay close. Don't make any noise or draw attention. Do not speak unless spoken to. Most importantly… respect the King.”

I hummed quietly, rubbing the bandages on my head. Though, I was sure the headache that was coming along was because of this upcoming situation and not because of my head injury. Still, I took the time to ask, “If it's that important, couldn't I have stayed on the ship?”

“As Krioff has already told you, your presence is necessary.” Pausing, he added slowly, “The king sometimes will reward the finder of his treasure with a wish. As we're aware, that would be you.”

He might've thought so, but I was sure the only reward I would get was a guarded room in the palace. “Why couldn't any of you take the gift? I'm sure any of the younger pirates would have gladly accepted it.”

“We are not to disrespect the King by lying to his highness's face.” Shooting me a pointed look, we finally caught up to the rest of the pirates, who were waiting for the rest of us before setting forth into the familiar royal palace of Heavenia. 

If I had to go in there by all means, I was determined to stay out of sight between the Zodiacs, keeping between them as if someone would lunge out and grab me at any moment. 

As nervous as I was, the minute the doors to the throne room opened it was like a sense of nostalgia hit me. The surprised pirates could only watch in surprise—some in horror—as I naturally bolted forward, the familiarity hitting me like a brick. I may have been too scared to return, but my feet moved on their own. The sight of the throne in front of me made me freeze just below the stairs. The sight above me was familiar enough for my eyes to lock into the figure in the golden chair. 

 “You should not be disrespecting the King in such a manner, you're injured,” Zyglavis reprimanded, a short distance behind me with the other pirates. But his attention didn't stay on me for very long as he looked back at the King. “Your highness, I apologize sincerely. He’s our captive that led us to your treasure. He may be overexcited; I believe this will pardon his behavior.” Gesturing behind him, Aigonorus and Dui had helped to carry the crates of gold.

As the silence pursued, the King finally inclined his head to observe me up and down, his eyes lingering on the bandages around my head. “So, you've finally returned.” His eyes flickered to the pirates that had gathered. “Thank you for returning that which is mine. You will be generously rewarded.”

“Your highness,” Karno started awkwardly, “(Name)’s the one who found your treasure. He's the one who should be accepting your reward.”

The King's eyes flickered toward the priceless artifacts placed before him. But just as soon as his eyes landed on them, he looked away. “I am uninterested in your trinkets. You may keep them.” His gaze landed back on me. “And you… Do you think yourself deserving of a reward?” Averting my gaze, I shook my head silently. “Have you elected to join these seafaring criminals?”

The way he asked that question told me he was severely disapproving of the way I was dressed. “Father…” I faltered at the negative attention that was placed upon me. Things were not the same as they were when I left and I didn't know what to say. The only thing I knew was the relationship of the man before me. He may not have been present when those pirates stole me from under his nose, but he was my father.

“The King has a son?!” Teorus exclaimed, making Huedhaut smack the back of his head with a forced hush. 

But Leon took the moment to correct him, “The King… has a daughter.”

The King recognized me as well, and he didn't seem surprised that his best pirate crew was able to return his treasure as he asked, but he still acted indifferent to this development before his lips curled up. “Welcome home.” The pirates gaped at me but remained silent. “I was unable to do so before. But I'll ensure this never happens again.” With the snap of his fingers guards rushed out, apprehending me as if I were some sort of villain. Per the King’s orders, the bandana was forcefully pulled from my head, my hair cascading out of it’s hold. It might not have been enough to show my femininity, but the pirates were none the less shocked at the revelation that they’d just delivered the King’s daughter to him. 

But even more shocking to them was the way I was being treated like any other criminal pirate. The various trinkets I wore from my adventures were also torn from me, discarded on the ground. I was lucky enough they didn't strip me completely naked from my pirate garbs then and there.

But I deserved it, didn't I? All those years ago, the invading pirates would have never found me if I'd listened to my father. I was his treasure, the one those pirates were looking for. Though, at the time I thought it was just a game, one that I wanted to play. It just so happened to be the longest game of ‘pirate’ I'd ever played in my life. It was my fault I was taken away from this oppressive life of being a princess. Did the King know all of what I’d done? 

Guiltily, I shouted, “I'm sorry!” But was I apologizing to my father or the Zodiac pirates I’d grown close to?

“That will be enough for now.”

“I was stupid! I didn't know!” 

But I was surprised when Scorpio stepped between me and the guards on standby, asking the question on everyone's mind, “What the hell is this?”

The King waved his hand dismissively. “You've completed your task and will be compensated. Return to your duties.” In other words, this was nothing to do with mere pirates like them. I knew that each of them were given their positions by order of the King; they were his personal fleet of pirates. These twelve were the smartest and strongest of them all, able to handle any mission handed to them. It seemed even returning me home was a surprise mission. 

Scorpio thought it was going to be the usual funny bull shit the King pulled when they returned from their mission, but this was far from funny. Their goldfish was… a princess. But I wasn't a princess anymore and even Scorpio knew that much. Openly sneering, he hissed, “This is far from over.” 

Though I refused to look at him with my watery eyes, his eyes landed on me and stayed on me for a brief moment before brushing past the other pirates. Which, at first no one moved. It wasn’t until I was taken into another part of the palace did they finally see themselves out.

[tobyrivers]

wave after wave / a self-para

triggers: stabbing, knives, blood, death, cancer mention. mentioned: @jacoboh @luciacarrera @mcrtyrdoms @veracalma @applekiraz @sarahoh @marianaxrojasx @eziocore @jieunfms

Toby smiled at his phone, happy that his plan to make things up with Vera seemed to be successful. It seemed like the past few days have been on a downward slope and things were finally, finally starting to look up. Every day without seeing Catherine’s face to say bad news was a good day, in his book, and he was getting better at pushing away the mental image of Theo’s head, as well as Bianca’s foot. It was just one of the many images stuck in his head that he got from being a paramedic, and he made a mental note to start talking about it with Jacob, once they finally got together for their surfing session. Toby never liked talking his problems, especially ones that he feels like he signed up for being a paramedic, but he’d been feeling shaken for a long time now. He just needed to talk about it, instead of bottling it in, and if there was one person he knew he could do that with, without any fear of judgment, it would be Jake. 

Swallowing thickly, Toby pushed all of that aside so he could focus on the task at had. It had been a long shift, but on the upside, he didn’t have to load up a body  today, and he also had plans to see Jieun after he went back home after walking his Golden Retriever. He took the same route he always did, moving past Low Point to Fog Gate before circling back home. It was already late, and he didn’t want Jieun to be waiting too long, so his pace was brisk, but he paused when he heard a voice. 

Help! Someone please help. Help me. 

Toby inhaled sharply at the woman’s voice, eyebrows furrowing as he stared into the darkness of the Salem Neck Trail. He used to include this in his route with his dog, up until Rhys’ arm had been found here, and he decided it was better to be safe than to be sorry, and decided to only skirt along the edge of it, close to the sidewalk, on his way back home nowadays. 

Help me please!

The urgency of the voice cut through Toby’s hesitance, and he took out his phone to turn on its flashlight as he held onto his dog’s leash tightly. There wasn’t really comfort in knowing he had his dog with him in case there was danger because Marley was one of the friendliest dogs there ever was. He used to joke with his friends that if a burglar came inside Toby’s apartment, Marley would lead the way to where he stashed some of his emergency savings. The thought made him smile, as he ventured deeper into the darkness. 

“Hello? Are you hurt?” Toby called out. 

I’m here and I’m hurt. I can’t move my legs. 

His training kicked in, and he went in the direction of the voice, finding it oddly familiar. “I’ll be right there. Are you bleeding?” He asked, wanting to keep the person talking so he can pinpoint where she was. 

No. 

Toby paused, a chill running down his back as he realized the voice was a lot closer than he had anticipated. 

But you will be. 

“Wha--” He started to say, just as his Marley started barking loudly, just as he felt a vibration in his hand notifying him he just got a text message, just as he heard a laugh right as he felt something pierce his stomach. All these things happening in the span of a few seconds and Toby’s hand shakily lifted his phone to point his phone’s flashlight down to see who it was. 

“You--” Toby said, gasping loudly when he felt the sharp object leaving his stomach. No, no, no, he thought, hands releasing what they were holding to hold onto his stomach. He belatedly saw that it had been a knife that was stuck in him, and he couldn’t help but feel panicked because he could handle being stabbed. He knew that. He’d seen people survive graver injuries, but the knife wasn’t supposed to be taken out. He was taking short breaths as he pressed his hands against his stomach to stop the flow of the blood, just so she could stab his stomach again, clean through his hands. 

The cry of agony he let out had him falling down to his knees, and with whatever strength he had left, he grabbed the toy he always kept on him during their walks and threw it as far as he could, not wanting her to hurt his dog too. Toby hadn’t realized just how deep into the trail he had gotten until he turned back towards her, and he wanted to fight back, wanted her to stop, to demand answers as to why she was doing this, but he found himself being stabbed again. 

And again. And again. And again.  And again. And again.  And again. 

The adrenaline was gone, his strength was depleted and the pain was like nothing he’d ever felt before, until Toby found himself flat on the ground, choking on his own blood. His thoughts strayed to how this would be the part he and his colleagues would try to distract the patient from the pain as they loaded them up into the back of the ambulance. He always hated that part. When death was all but confirmed, and there was nothing to be done. He knew it now. He could feel it, just as easily as he could feel the dirt under his hands, as easily as he could hear the laughter. 

His dropped phone’s flashlight was still turned on and it cast her face in shadow, and Toby had to turn his head to the side, not wanting this to be the last thing he’d see. He closed his eyes after he felt tears pooling in them because he didn’t think this was fair. 

This isn’t how it was supposed to end. 

His father. The man he looked up to his entire life. The man who had to watch the love of his life go through something as horrible as cancer and lost her to it too. The man who had to see one of his children turn into a monster, despite trying his best to step into the role of being a single parent while dealing with his own grief. Toby always wanted to tell him he was a great father, that he appreciated his effort, especially because his father never said it out loud but Toby just knew he felt like a failure because of how Tucker ended up being, how he felt responsible for it. His heart ached for his father, knowing the man would have to bury another son. 

Jacob. His best friend for as long as he can remember. Someone who was practically his brother. He could remember being younger, playing with him, studying with him, feeling completely at ease around him while simultaneously sticking out whenever he was at the Oh residence. How Jake’s other friends were just as wealthy as he was, and it was never a sore point, just a clear indicator of how they were so different, yet so similar at the same time. They had the same values, the same heart, the same drive, the same want for the other to succeed. Toby never felt more understood, more himself than when he was with Jake and in turn, the loyalty between them never faltered. They always were in each other’s corners, no matter what. How he was the first person outside of his family he had called to let him know that his mother was no longer struggling, no longer in pain. He could remember putting his strength down and just crying in Jake’s arms saying I’m not ready. I’m not ready. How he’d give absolutely anything for them to be out at sea again, surfing together. Or on the shore passing a football around. Jake was home, was family, his safe space. He always will be.  

Lucia. His biggest what if. He knew he didn’t have the heart to stop her from leaving all those years ago, not when he knew she was going after her dream and he wanted that from her. He wanted, more than anything, to see her succeed. For her to have all the good things this life could offer, because she, of all people, deserved that. He always wondered what would’ve happened, if he actually left Nightrest for her. He told himself this town will always be home, his father would always be here and he couldn’t just abandon him, and Toby felt like he didn’t need to be anywhere else, and ultimately, that was what made him lose her. They both wouldn’t dream of forcing the other to do anything they didn’t want to do, but those two words will always stay with him. What if. There was a whole other future that had been lined up for him had he taken the step out of this town. A parallel universe where maybe he’d still be the one making her happy.

Gabriel. They just started being friends again and it wasn’t fair. Toby could remember being younger and being around Gabe, their hobbies vastly different, their personalities different as well, but they still worked. They were still incredibly good friends. Every time Toby looked back on his childhood, it was thought of with nothing but fondness and Gabe had a lot to do with it. They drifted apart. Years and years of trying to get back to the happy-go-lucky children they had been, but it was a struggle. Real life problems came and went and the rift just got bigger and bigger. Until this year. Until they tried again. Toby missed them terribly when they didn’t talk, and it was still something they had to figure out together, but he had been looking forward to it, to seeing the person they were now, to know all about what he had missed, and now, he’d never get the chance to. 

Verity. Complete opposites, but ones that made sense. He’d known her for his whole life too, and yet, it took a long time for her to take a liking to him, to give him the chance to see underneath that rough exterior of hers to showcase what he’d always known. The woman with a heart bigger than anybody else’s, who’d fight to the death for her loved ones, whose loyalty knew no bounds. You were lucky if she showed you that part of her, because only a rare few got to see it or feel it for themselves. That’s how he always thought of himself whenever he looked back on his time with Vera. Lucky. Even when they fought. They ended their relationship on good terms, and he was grateful more than ever that he decided to ask for that favor from Efe today, because it always felt wrong when they weren’t okay. 

Apple. Tinkerbell. Someone who was already suffering because of losing her best friend. He tried putting himself in her shoes one night when he was alone, thinking of what it would feel like for him to lose Jake in such a horrible way, and he ended up crying. How would it feel to lose someone who’s so deeply ingrained in your soul? Especially someone like Apple, whose soul was fortified by the love she gave to people. Her soul wasn’t dainty, but it was strong. She was resilient, and he liked to make fun of her for her size, because it always amused him how someone so small to him, could have a spirit bigger than herself, bigger than him even. His sweet, beautiful, kind Tinkerbell who didn’t need to suffer through more to build her strength when she was already one of the strongest people he knew. 

Sarah. He liked her, that much was obvious. He’d never had a door slam in his face after asking someone out before, but after the initial shock of it all, he came to think of it as something that the two could eventually laugh about in the future. Toby wanted her to be happy, because simply put, that was what she deserved. Sarah was like sunshine, and he didn’t fault himself for wanting to be around her, for trying to be something more than just friends, for liking her for the person that she was because she is loveable. Always had been. The light in her eyes dimmed after Theo, he could see that, but she had Jake, and Charlotte. She had her friends. Toby knows they’d take care of her.  

Mariana. He really didn’t know where things went wrong with them but thoughts of his brother inevitably brought forth thoughts of Mari too. How horrified he had been when he found out what happened. How protective he became of her when he got her out of that situation immediately. How he vowed he’d never talk to his brother again after that, before Tucker started fucking with his brain again, talking about how they would always be blood. He hoped Mari would never feel that kind of pain again, hoped that she’d come to realize she was a lot stronger than she thought she was.

Ezio. Someone who was like his younger brother. Toby always wanted one, always asked his parents for one so he could be to them what Tucker had been to him before their mother died. Someone Toby vowed to always protect from all the bad things in life, because they still had so many good things to see and experience, and he wanted to be there to see the look on their face when they were able to actually see and experience those good things. Despair clutched at him as he strongly wished someone would take care of them, now that he couldn’t. 

Jieun. There’s pain there for the potential between them. He could remember how happy he was when she had been released from the hospital, how he celebrated her at Medusa, only to come home with her afterwards. How they never talked about it, until it happened again after the music festival. Maybe there was a reason the two always found their way back to each other. Jieun always made him think of moonlight, the only thing beautiful enough to cast his eyes away from the ocean. How a part of her will always be hidden, but that didn’t stop Toby from wanting to know her. It wasn’t just the intrigue, it wasn’t just the confusion. It was her. People in town were so easy to write her off as just another mean girl, but there was so much more to her than that, and Toby knew it. He could see it in the way her eyes lit up watching the fireworks after the music festival. He could see it in the way he held her close after sleeping together, and how she’d curl against him. He could see it in the haunted look her eyes would take when talking about her now dead friends. He could see it in her passion for creating, and he felt like he was being let in on a massive secret, seeing how happy it made her, how proud she was of it. How proud he was of her too. He could see it in the way she was like with her friends, how she treated them, how she’d do anything for them. He could see it in the way she’d let go of his hand, yet linger. A push and pull that always ended with him getting just the tiniest bit closer. A mean girl. A good person. An influencer. A survivor. His secret. He hadn’t expected them at all, but he didn’t regret anything that happened with them, not one bit. Toby hated that their time was cut short, and he knew he would’ve done anything she asked of him, his last one bringing what happened between them with him to the grave. 

His eyes were already closed and he could feel the pain from the knife entering his body over and over again start to ebb away, making way for a fading that was oddly like how he feels every time he was on his surfboard. Nothing but the vast sky above him, and the water below him, the salty sea air in his lungs, a smile on his face and his board between his legs. He liked it when he sometimes let himself fall into the water, and that feeling of the water enclosing around him, muting everything else, reminded him of something he hadn’t felt in so long. 

His mother’s arms around him, telling him everything was going to be okay. He could hear her voice now, saying the exact words he had told her on her hospital bed the day after he turned thirteen.

You can rest now. 

[words-plots-andthings]

Ribbons Wound Tightly (Holding Us Together)

@randomreblogs tagging as asked. Thanks for the prompt that inspired me to write again after a year break. :) I’m a little rusty. Also on Ao3 with the same name. Lan Wangji is all too aware of his surroundings, but this is nothing like a night hunt. These are people, not sparing partners or fierce corpses. Killing, while forbidden in the Cloud Recesses, is not uncommon here, the grass and dirt stained red from friend and foe alike. If possible he will refrain from dealing in death. Wei Wuxian does enough for all of them. Swiftly he ducks beneath the strike of a sword, the sound resonating in his ears even as he brings Bichen up to parry. Instinctively he steps to the left and throws off his opponent's center of balance before striking. Wei Wuxian has picked up a new tune somewhere in the distance. Lan Wangji ignores the way that it reassures him even as his eyes scan the chaos for black hair bound with a red ribbon. He takes advantage of the lull the new wave of corpses has caused, striking out and disarming those nearest to him. The scrimmage is nearing an end so he approaches Wei WuXians position surreptitiously. He only means to check the other is unharmed before he takes his leave to report to Lan Xichen and Lan Qiren.

As he navigates the battlefield he meets Wei Wuxians eyes, it's only a moment but it makes him stop dead in his tracks. He doesn’t look like he’s even been in a fight, save for the way he is breathing in a deep controlled manner. Only the sudden look of panic on Wei Wuxians face breaks him out of his momentary stupor. With a jolt and graceless stumble he turns out of the way of a downward swing. He's too slow and adrenaline pours through his veins. Hyper aware he feels the fine silk of his ribbon split. The weight of it falls from his hair leaving him feeling naked and exposed. He doesn’t have time to think about it or to retrieve it as he re-engages in the battle around him. When night falls, his ribbon is nowhere to be found. He will ask for a new one. Lan Qiren will not be happy. Lan Wangji will not ask Wei Wuxian if he knows where it is. Wei Wuxian takes great pains to ensure that the stitches are even and neat as he sews Lan Wangjis forehead ribbon back together. Absently he runs his thumb and forefinger over the gold clouds and wishes the man himself were here for some company. Wei Wuxian would play a joke on him, or tease him. He’d do anything to ignore the whispers around him, the noise in his head. He’s of little to no use to Jiang Cheng now. Without his golden core, and the center of attention, Wei Wuxian is causing more harm than good by staying by Jiang Chengs side. He made a promise though and he won't break that. He can’t. He does. Hold up in his cave he draws the ribbon out of his inner robe and stares at it long into the night. He hadn’t stayed long enough to know what Lan Wangji had thought about his behavior or intentions at Koi Palace. He doesn’t dwell on it now. He is doing what is right. He knows that deep down. He only hopes his brother and sister can forgive him and that Lan Wangji won’t hate him. Jiang Cheng comes up with a plan. It’s a bad plan, they both know it. But it's the best they can do. It’s the best way he can protect the Yunmeng Jiang Clan and the remnants of the Wen clan. With tears in his eyes he tucks himself away in the darkness of his cave and cradles the ribbon close to his heart. It’s hard, harder than he thought it would be to walk this single log bridge. When he runs into Lan Wangji in Yiling with A-Yuan he can’t help but smile. Finally something good. Something happy. Something pure. He can barely bring himself to stop A-Yuans crying, Lan Wangji looks unfathomably uncomfortable and it twists his heart with delight to see it. His eyes say he wants to comfort the child, the tension in his body says he wants to run. Grinning, he interrupts. It all goes smoothly, until it doesn’t. The panic that seizes him would be crippling if he hadn’t had so much practice at pushing it down, fighting it back. Lan Wangji follows him and takes A-Yuan and so he rushes ahead; he has work to do. When Lan Wangji goes he is sad, sadder than he has been in a long time. He feels lonely. A-Yuan seems sad too, so he does his best to cheer him up as they make their way back up the mountain. The celebration is nice and he drinks too much which makes the loneliness worse when he stumbles into his cave and trips on half finished projects.  He collapses on his stone bed and curls up under the tattered blankets he keeps. Half awake and humming his fingers seek out the familiar silk band and curl around it as though it were his only life line. The anchor that keeps him from floating away from himself and his body. “Xian-gege” A-Yuan wakes him. He bats the boy's hands away and mumbles into his arm. “Xian-gege, what is that?” Slowly Wei Wuxian peels his eyes open and looks around. “What?” “That?” A-Yuan asks, pointing at the ribbon as he crawls up into Wei Wuxians bed. It’s not even light out and his head is splitting open. “It’s a ribbon. It’s very special.” “Special? Why? What does it do?” “I’ll tell you only if you promise to lay down and go back to bed.” “Okay, gege.” “It’s special because it belongs to a precious friend of mine and when I hold on to it it reminds me of him. He’s very strong and it makes me feel safe to think about him when I hold it. That's a secret. Just between you and me little Radish. Now come here and go back to sleep.” A-Yuan does not go right to sleep; he pushes too close to Wei Wuxian  and trembles. It doesn't take a genius to know he's scared of the ghosts and the noises and the dark. So, he pulls the boy closer and wraps him safely in his arms and lets him hold onto the ribbon too before he hums them both back to sleep. Bleeding and delirious Lan Wangji stumbles from Bichen onto the barren charred remains of the Burial mounds. His robes tug at the wounds on his back and every movement threatens to reopen the barely formed scabs further. Desperately he looks into the darkness for any sign of Wei Wuxian. There is nothing. He stumbles blindly over corpses and rubble, over uprooted vegetable gardens and gravestones until he can’t tell where he is. Still there is no sign of life. There is no sign of Wei Wuxians corpse. Defeated he stumbles half blind from silent tears up the crumbling stairs that lead into the Demon Slaughtering Cave. Barely inside he falls to his knees, his fingers brush against the dirt and stone of the floor as he lets them guide him deeper. He is too weak to keep standing, too dizzy. So he crawls. He must have missed something. There must be some sign of Wei Wuxian here. Some sign that his Wei Ying had survived.  A whimper breaks through the howling wind and stiff thunk thunk of corpse footsteps outside. Without a second thought he lights a talisman. He squints reflexively, his eyes too long adjusted to the dark. The sight before him cuts his soul deeply, there is nothing left of his heart to shield it. A-Yuan is curled into a ball on the far side of the cave wrapped in the tatters of what must have once been blankets. Wei Wuxians blankets form the bed beside him. The child is hiding and Lan WangJi knows he cannot leave him here, so he crawls forward on hands and knees until he is beside him. He doesn’t care that his clothes are ruined, he can’t be bothered. He tries to speak, to say the boy's name but he can’t say anything at all. Instead he scoops him up against his chest and hisses at the way it pulls his shoulders. He ignores the sticky mess that spreads hotly down his back and weeps into the boy's hair. The talisman burns out. Lan Wangji does not light it again. He is in seclusion, but Lan Xichen breaks the rules for him. He uses flowery words and arguments to justify it. He has to, as clan leader anything less would be inappropriate. Today he gets to see Lan Sizhui. A-Yuan. The little boy who pretends to be a radish in the garden when he plays. A-Yuan, the boy whom Wei Wuxian had loved. This week he will stay with Lan Wangji while Lan Xichen is at Koi Tower with Jin Guanyao and Nie Mengjue.  It is just past nine in the evening and despite being tired Lan Wangji is unable to sleep. It seems that A-Yuan cannot either. Sitting up, Lan Wangji looks over at the boy who seems to be trembling. It’s only been two weeks and neither of them has forgotten the stench of the mountain or the way the wind howling in the trees carried the same melodies that Wei Wuxian had played. It was some eerie poorly executed symphony, a mock comparison to the real thing. He stands silently from his bed and walks over to check on the boy. Is he having a nightmare? If so, what should he do about it? How does he help? He doesn’t remember what his caretakers did. Did they do anything at all? What he sees takes his breath away and he stands frozen in shock. A looming ghost in the Jingshi, a statue, a corpse. He doesn’t know how much time has passed before he comes back to himself but the moon has shifted and A-Yuan is looking at him with fear in his eyes. His bottom lip trembles and he tries to hide the ribbons in his hand. One is nearly the pristine white of the Gusu Lan sect and the other is a faded and rough around the edges crimson ribbon. Both stand in mockery of what they once were. A-Yuan cries. “ A-Yuan,” He hates the way his voice cracks. He takes a breath and steadies himself before kneeling down. “May I see?” A-Yuan stares up at him and very quietly says, “It’s a secret. Xian-gege said so.” His heart is breathing too quickly in his chest all the while it feels like there is a stone sinking in his gut. “I’m sure he did. But that one looks just like mine.” He manages to keep his voice calm and steady. A-Yuan doesn’t look convinced so he reaches up and unties his own ribbon before holding out for the boy to examine. A-Yuan reaches out and reverently picks it up. He had been told not to touch anyone elses ribbon and didn’t have his own yet. That was an ongoing battle. “Oh.” He says in the smallest voice. “You were the friend that made Xian-gege feel safe.” Lan Wangji swallows the whimper that tries to force its way up his throat and nods instead. “Do you know the song he always hummed for me? Please, can you hum it too?” He looks at the boy with uncertainty. What song? A-Yuan is already tearing up again and he panics.What would Wei Ying do? He reaches out and stumbles as A-Yuan collides with his chest. He picks the boy up and carries him back to his bed. He hums. He hums the first song that comes to mind, the one transcribed on his heart and engraved on his bones. He feels A-Yuan relax in his arms and his breathing begins to steady. It’s only after it has settled into the deep relaxed breathing of sleep that Lan Wangji finally places him down and covers him with the downy blanket. With unsteady hands he removes the ribbons from the boys smaller ones, leaving his own in their place for now. The icy air is a welcome reprieve as he stumbles against the railing. With only the moon and wind for company he lets the tears slide down his cheeks.After a while he plays inquiry softly. He expects no answer. He plays anyway. Eventually he plays Wangxian without any conscious thought. There are three people in the world who know it, and one of them is dead. He lets the last note ring in the air before he takes up the ribbons again. Absently he knots the ribbons together into a chain. He clutches it tightly in his hand. In the morning he must give it back to A-Yuan. It's all he has left of Wei Wuxian, and A-Yuan is all Lan Wangji has. He vows that A-Yuan will be safe. He will be loved. And most importantly Lan Wangji will always be there for him. This way he might ease some of the regret he harbors in his heart. Epilogue Wei Wuxian is grateful. He leans against Lan Wangjis chest and watches as Sizhui and Jingyi practice their swords. He wears a new ribbon in his hair, scarlet and bright. “Full of life, like you.” Lan Zhan had told him one night.There had been something dark in his expression and Wei Wuxian had spent the night kissing it away. Today his eye catches on something. He hadn’t paid too much attention to Sizhuis sword before but today the light hits it just right. There’s something glinting on the lanyard of his saber. “Sizhui, come here.” He calls out and waves the boy over. Obedient as ever he approaches puzzlement all over his face. “Xian-gege?” He asks, it had only taken him months to revert to using the name. Wei Wuxian smiles. “Let me have a look at your sword.” He says already reaching for it. He feels Lan Wangji shift and turn to take his hand so he ducks away stealing the blade from Sizhui and grins at the both of them. He only needed a moment to see what it was. A knotted forehead ribbon of the Lan sect wound with a faded scarlet ribbon. He examines it more closely, feeling along the ribbon until he comes across what he is looking for. Painstakingly performed stitches connected two parts of the ribbon. Smiling, he returns the saber to Sizhui. “The lanyard is interesting. Who made it for you?” Sizhui looks confused before he takes the lanyard in hand and looks at it. “Hánguāng-jūn. But I don’t remember where the pieces came from. I’ve always had it.” “I see. I see. Good, go on, back at it and remember the sword is an extension of your arm.” “Are you going to practice with us today?” Sizhui asks with a smile as he starts back towards Jingyi. “Soon.” He says waving the boy off. Lan Wangji won't meet his eyes and the tips of his ears have turned a delightful pink. Wei Wuxian approaches like a cat about to catch a mouse. MIschevious and playful he looks up at his husband and tugs at his forehead ribbon.“I guess you know where that ribbon went then.” Lan Wangji simply nods. “Thank you Lan Zhan. I’m grateful he had you.” Lan Wangji smiles the barest amount before leaning down and kissing Wei Wuxian fiercely. It's a moment of sincerity and peace in the chaos of their lives.“Hey!” Jingyi shouts at them, “That's against the rules!” “So is yelling.” Wei Wuxian calls out as he breaks away and jumps down into the courtyard to give chase, Lan Wangjis forehead ribbon wound firmly around his hand and his hair spilling loose around his shoulders. 

[teconkaals]

Walking With A Ghost - Chapter 8

Ghost wakes up in the infirmary and Amelia and Price go to visit him.

One chapter to guide the next, rather. No trigger warnings for this chapter, I think.

AO3 Chapter link: Chapter 8 - Awaken

Fanfic Masterlist: Here

Next Chapter: Chapter 9 - Unforgiven

Previous Chapter: Chapter 7 - Downed

Wordcount: 4038

Rating: Mature

Tags of the fanfic (some of them): hurt/comfort, taking care of each other, blood and violence, happy ending, non explicit sex

A/N: Sorry for the wait, I know it's a short chapter but life has run over me in the form of a dog (dog pic at the end of the chapter 🐶). The next chapter will be from Price's perspective because I feel like writing it. Likes, reblogs and comments are really appreciated 💚 Hope you like it!

I don’t give others permission to translate and/or re-publish my works on this or any other platform (I’m publishing on my Ao3 account both English and Spanish).

SIMON “GHOST” RILEY - FO 141 AWAKEN SAS INFIRMARY, CREDENHILL, UK DECEMBER 2, 2022, 18:55

Soap left the room, and Simon stared at the closed door for several long seconds. He’d seen the subtle change in his mate’s expression, as if he’d remembered something painful, and Simon had worried. Especially since it was an unusual gesture and, the few times he saw it, it made him feel powerless for days. He wanted to help him, of course he did, making Johnny okay was one of his priorities; however, Simon knew that Soap, too, needed time to open up.

“Honey, you’re completely in love.”

Simon closed his eyes for a moment and snorted. He turned to Amelia, who’d a mischievous expression on her face, and muttered a curse.

“Wipe that stupid smile off,” he snarled at her.

“Fuck off. It’s the first time I’ve seen you like this and I plan to enjoy it,” she smiled at him a bit more. “The great Simon Riley, the most relentless SAS soldier, cold as ice, in love with a talkative Scots who’s the same energy as a golden retriever. Seeing is believing.”

“I’m not in love.”

“Lying to yourself isn’t okay, honey,” Amelia clicked her tongue, amused.

“Just because you’re an expert doesn’t make you the one to speak on the subject,” he growled suddenly, scathing.

Amelia’s smile faded to nothing and Simon cursed himself for being such a big mouth.

“I’m sorry,” he added.

She was silent for a few seconds, looking at him carefully until she looked down at the blanket that was on the stretcher.

“MacTavish seems like a good guy,” Amelia commented casually, fidgeting with the edge of the blanket. “Direct and clear, the way I like them. The kind of person with a natural charisma that draws people in,” she paused. “I’m glad he’s the one taking care of you.”

Simon frowned a little, taking the blow in silence. He reached out a hand to caress Amelia’s, however she gently withdrew it as she leaned back in the chair. That gesture was enough for Simon to know that she was hurt.

“He’s been very worried about you,” she continued. “Emma told me that when MacTavish saw you after the operation, he knelt next to the stretcher, with your hand in his, and he cried as if you had died. It’s evident that he loves you so much.”

Simon’ heart twisted a little as he imagined the scene. John was one of the few people he didn’t want to hurt and it was clear he’d failed. He bit his lower lip and stared at his lap, where he rested his hands. He¡d first hurt Soap and now Amelia. Who would be next? Price?

“Don’t be an idiot, you haven’t hurt anyone,” Amelia said firmly, interrupting his thoughts. Simon glanced at her. “You’ve been injured on a mission while doing your job. It’s not something you did on purpose.”

Ghost dropped his gaze.

“But I’ve hurt you,” he whispered.

“Yes,” she replied bluntly. “I understand, although I don’t agree, that you want to get away from me because of the feeling of guilt. But your comment was unnecessary.”

“Sorry.”

Amelia sighed and ran a hand over her face.

“I’ve read your medical reports,” she commented, changing the subject. “Emma provided them for me,” she added as she saw Simon’s expression. “You’ll be out of action for a few weeks.”

“I’ll get better sooner than they say,” he assured her, and Amelia gave him a light tap on his good leg. “What?”

“It won’t be so easy this time. MacTavish won’t let you fool around,” Simon clicked his tongue back and she hit him again. “You know I’ve no problem sticking to your ass to make sure you’re taking your break.”

Of course he knew, it wasn’t the first time she’d done it. Last time Amelia managed to keep an eye on him without being able to move from the bed. He certainly didn’t deserve someone like Amelia in her life. Actually, he didn’t deserve anyone.

Simon sighed and pushed those thoughts away.

“Who told you?” he asked, changing the subject.

His friend looked at him carefully, and from her expression, Simon knew she was debating whether or not to play along. Amelia sighed and glanced out the window.

“It was John.”

Simon frowned a little.

“I thought you didn’t talk to each other," he commented slowly. “I’m glad you’re back in touch.”

“Don’t get excited,” she growled. “We never lost it, it just… stopped being the same.”

Simon looked at her with a certain sadness, realizing that they hadn’t solved the problem that had distanced them years ago. In fact, from her words he supposed that they’d maintained a polite contact simply for him, so that Amelia would know how he was. Simon felt a pang of pain in his stomach as he felt spied on, however, he quickly let it go, realizing that it was the only way for Amelia to know how he was. Simon didn’t talk too much and always pretended that everything was fine, it was logical that she had found another way.

“Shouldn’t… you talk about it?”

Amelia turned to him sharply and looked at him closely.

“About what?” she snarled with suppressed anger. “About how he slept with me, said he loved me and left as soon as I fell asleep? No, thanks” she snorted. “Price took off without saying a word. Hees not worth a drop of my time.”

Simon was silent for a few seconds before leaning a little closer to her. Amelia was startled when she noticed that he took her hand to put it between his, stroking the back with his thumb. Her angry expression softened and she sighed.

“MacTavish’s teaching you well,” she whispered.

“Johnny hasn’t had anything to do with this,” Simon shot back. “And you know it.”

Amelia snorted again, but when she spoke, it was in a softer tone.

“You’ve always had a big heart, Simon, but you’ve never found someone to give it to. What MacTavish’s done is bring it out. And I’m glad for that.”

“You’re getting off topic.”

“What does it matter?” she shrugged, resigned. “At this point, it’s all the same to me. All I want is an apology and he’s not going to give it to me.”

Simon looked at her carefully. She was staring down at her hands, her eyes on the circles he traced with his thumb, an expression he’d no difficulty deciphering. It was the one she always put on when she was sad but didn't want others to know. The stoic attitude that always characterized her.

“You still have feelings for him,” he understood, realizing that his comment had been more accurate than he’d expected.

She looked up at once and Simon could see a flash of pain on her face.

“That’s not true.”

“Amelia…”

She snorted.

“Why do you care?”

“Because now that I know that you’ve been dragging this for years, I think it’s time to close your wounds.”

“Ironic of you to say this to me,” she snarled, biting.

“I’m working on it,” Simon replied quickly, not letting the comment get to him. “Johnny’s helping me. In any case, we’re not talking about me.”

“Actually, yes. You’re the one hospitalized, remember? You barely survived. Again.”

He looked at her without saying anything and she continued talking.

“Price has the letter you gave Gaz. I admit I’m a bit surprised because it’s the first you’ve written… I guess it was for MacTavish.”

Simon looked down and stroked the back of her hand again.

“I’ve… I felt scared. For the first time in a long time, I was scared at the thought of dying. Not… being able to spend more time with Johnny, telling him how I feel… And it’s weird.”

“It’s what happens when you fall in love,” she replied kindly. “When a person becomes the center of your world, you begin to see things you didn’t know existed before. And you rethink others that you hadn’t even thought of,” she paused. “Have you told him?”

“I haven’t had enough courage. And I wouldn’t know how to do it either.”

“Well, accepting it is a big step,” Amelia smiled. “Let everything flow and, sooner or later, the opportunity will appear.”

Simon nodded silently and absently. Almost without realizing it, the images of Roach and Rebel, motionless on the ground, and of Amelia, half unconscious with a large pool of blood under her, appeared softly in his mind.

“Hey, what's up?”

He blinked and focused on her. His friend had leaned over the stretcher a little and was looking at him with a slight frown, that worried expression that made her big eyes a little smaller.

Simon swallowed before answering.

“What if… what if something happens to him for being with me?” he whispered.

Amelia looked at him for half a second before getting up and sitting next to him on the bed. She caressed his face with her hand and Simon closed his eyes, moving the head to cradle it in her hand. In that instant he regretted staying away from Amelia, for forcing her to contact Price to find out how he was. He didn't remember how much he missed her presence, her caresses and her voice.

“Don’t think about it,” Amelia said softly, in that gentle, loving tone she always used with him. “I’ll repeat it to you as many times as necessary: the losses you’ve had in life don’t condition anything. They don’t form a precedent. Enjoy your time with him, with the people you love and who love you. Because you deserve it , Simon.”

He squeezed his eyes shut to keep from bursting into tears, and Amelia settled back on the bed so she could hug him, stroking his hair gently. She kissed him on the neck before speaking further.

“I know that little voice of yours is telling you that it’s not true. That you only bring pain and bad luck. That you deserve to be alone. But you don’t, honey. You deserve to be happy too.”

Simon broke down and hugged her back, hard. He buried his face in the crook of her neck and wept silently. Amelia cradled him, whispering words of encouragement, of love; caressing his back and his hair as she hummed a song to him. For the first time in a long time, Simon felt at home. Like when his mother hugged him after scraping his knees falling off the bike. Like Price, and despite the fact that they were both a handful of years older than him, Amelia had become the mother figure he had been missing and he vowed never to stray so far from her again.

“Are you better?” she whispered sweetly, kissing him on the temple without letting go.

Simon nodded and took a deep breath. He moved away from her a little and wiped his face with the sheet. Amelia got up and went into the bathroom; Simon heard the noise of running water for a few seconds and she returned with a towel in her hands. She offered it to him, and Simon wiped it across his face. The cool, wet feel of the fabric eased him a little.

“Thanks,” he whispered.

She caressed his face again and Simon looked up.

“Whenever you need me,” she smiled at him and sighed theatrically. “Well, I think it’s about time I told Emma. You owe me one for this; she’s going to kill me for not telling her sooner.”

“I’ll buy you a drink as soon as I’m discharged.”

“Don’t you dare,” she pointed her finger at him. “You’ll be full of medication, so no alcohol. But” she crossed her arms and smiled, “I’ll let you pay me off with my favorite dessert.”

Simon snorted.

“Making rice pudding is not a challenge.”

“I’m a simple woman with simple tastes,” Amelia replied, shrugging and still smiling.

“That is moot.”

Simon gave a half smile and she lightly punched him in the shoulder.

He closed his eyes briefly, reached up a hand to cup her forearm and pressed it affectionately. Amelia left the room and Simon sighed, steeling himself for the testing session Emma was going to put him through. Just as Amelia said, the doctor scolded them for not noticing her sooner, although she understood why. She also let Simon put the balaclava back on. Even though most of the doctors, and nurses, on the base had seen his face, he felt much more comfortable wearing a mask. He wasn’t worried they would say what his face was like, all of them had signed a confidentiality contract so strict that revealing it would mean permanent imprisonment and disqualification in all areas. So he was calm in that aspect.

He sighed when they left him alone, staring at the ceiling in an attempt to clear his mind. They had taken him from one place to another for two hours, running whatever tests Emma saw fit to make sure everything was in order. The doctor assured him that they’d have the results the next day and recommended Simon to rest. He snorted at the comment, claiming that he'd had enough rest. Emma gave him a hard, serious look that he had no trouble understanding. He hated being in hospital. If it were up to him, he'd be gone by now and was tempted to when a couple of soft knocks echoed on the door.

He tilted his head, curious.

“Come in,” he said cautiously.

The door opened and Price entered the room. He was smiling kindly and Simon returned the gesture, though he knew the Captain couldn't see him because of the balaclava.

“I see your mask has been returned.”

Simon took it as soon as the door closed.

“If you’re more comfortable in it, leave it on,” he added.

“You’re one of the few I’m comfortable without it,” he replied. “A little late to visit me, don’t you think?”

Price chuckled.

“Amelia called me a couple of hours ago, but they told me they were running tests on you,” he sighed. “Emma let me in.”

“That doctor’s going to get into trouble.”

“If so, we’ll figure it out,” he paused. “How do you feel?”

“Jaded,” he growled. “Looking forward to being discharged to return to work.”

“You’ve always been impatient. Your injuries are severe and will need time to heal. Take it easy.”

“I’ve been worse and you know it.”

“They’re not mutually exclusive.”

Simon clicked his tongue before sighing.

“Makarov is…”

“Dead, yes,” Price agreed. “I thought MacTavish told you.”

“I… didn’t want to ask him. It didn’t seem like an important topic to me.”

Price looked at him carefully and leaned back in his chair.

“Soap was very worried about you,” he nodded. “I think it’s the first time I’ve seen him like this.”

Ghost didn’t answer and Price took a deep breath, fixing his gaze on the small table that was next to the stretcher. From his expression, Simon knew he was deep in memory.

“He was devastated,” Price finally added.

Again, Simon felt an iron fist clench his heart. He was unable to visualize John as broken as Amelia and Price claimed. Soap was a person who always smiled and tried to see the bright side of things. He couldn't see him any other way.

“Makarov’s death means that he’s paid many of his debts,” he commented, changing the subject. He knew Price would notice, but he didn’t want to talk about Soap right now.

The Captain agreed with a sigh.

“The people who died in the London bombings will be able to rest,” he murmured. “And Roach and Rebel, as well.”

“Not until I kill König.”

Price looked at him, chin lifting slightly.

“That path will bring you nothing good, son.”

“You don’t have to like it,” Simon shot back. “This is a personal decision, regardless of the SAS and One-Four-One.”

“The road to revenge is littered with traps and only leads to a dark place. And it’ll bring pain to those who love you.”

He snorted and looked away, shaking his head.

“I want him dead,” he hissed. “I’ll kill him the same way I killed Roba and his people.”

Price was silent for a few seconds and took a deep breath.

“I’ll go with you then.”

“No,” he met his eyes. “It’s a path I’ve to take alone.”

“Simon…”

“Not debatable.”

Price looked at him again and Ghost stubbornly held his gaze. The Captain’s expression was sad and resigned, an expression Simon had rarely seen and had always found it hard to ignore. However, despite both he and Amelia trying to stop him from going after König, Ghost was determined to hunt him down.

Whatever it cost.

“Amelia told me it’s you who called her,” Simon said suddenly, changing the subject again.

He knew that this comment had caught Price off guard, in fact, he’s aware that bringing up the subject of Amelia was a low blow; however, he couldn’t let his two friends continue without turning the page.

“Yeah, I promised I’d let her know if anything happened,” he managed to say. “Anyway, she’s still your emergency contact.”

Simon had forgotten that detail and it saddened him a little to know that it had been because of that and not because Price wanted to reconnect with Amelia.

“You going to apologize to her?” he asked him out of the blue.

Price’s mouth opened slightly and his eyebrows rose, clearly surprised.

“Apologise? Why should I...?”

Simon cut him off.

“Are you seriously going to ask me that question?”

The Captain was silent for a few seconds before sighing. He lowered his gaze for a moment, then fixed it on the window. It was night and there was nothing to be seen outside, yet Simon knew that he was trying not to look at him.

“I should’ve figured she’d tell you,” his voice was almost a whisper. “I’m surprised you haven’t stabbed me in the liver,” he gave a half smile that didn’t reach his eyes.

“I thought about it,” he admitted, “but she made me promise to stay out of it.”

Simon pushed those memories away to focus on Price, whose half smile turned into a fond, wistful one.

“She’s always been a good person.”

“If you think that of her, why did you let her go?”

Price looked at him and clicked his tongue.

“I think that’s none of your business.”

Simon fell silent, keeping his expression neutral and his gaze fixed on Price. He wanted to tell him that he hadn’t forgotten Amelia’s call at early morning, her voice cracking, asking if he could make her company; how quickly Simon took his car to her house, hugging Amelia as soon as he saw her; the ache in his chest as she began to cry, in his arms, not understanding why Price had left; the effort he’d to make to promise her that he wouldn’t tell the Captain anything. He wanted to blame Price that it did concern him because they were both important to him and that it made him a little angry to know that they’d distanced themselves due to lack of communication. He couldn’t help but see the irony since he himself was a silent person, one of those who kept everything to himself, so he didn’t say anything. Price, however, looked away and snorted.

“Why do you insist on something that happened five years ago?” he asked. “It’s a thing of the past.”

“‘Cause just as you both care about me, I care about you too.”

Price’s expression softened and he breathed deeply.

“I didn’t let her go,” Price opened up to him, lowering his voice, “she walked away from me. I wanted to apologize, but she didn’t listen.”

“No one would want to talk about something like that the day after it happened, Price.”

He smiled resignedly.

“I guess not,” he paused, tilting his head to look at him. “I’ve never seen you talkative before, Simon. I see that spending so much time with Soap has its effects.”

Ghost snorted and looked away.

“Don’t divert the subject.”

“As if I’m the only one to do it,” he smiled at him.

Simon looked at him carefully and composed a serious expression.

“Get to the point. Are you against it or not?”

Price frowned, confused.

“No, should I?”

“Your lieutenant is getting intimate with one of your sergeants,” Simon replied slowly, “technically it’s against the rules. Fraternization isn’t in the manual.”

“Ah, but that rule was lifted a couple of years ago,” he waved a hand to downplay it. “As long as it doesn’t affect work too much, it’ll be fine.”

“You didn’t separate us on the gulag mission for that?”

“Of course not. Gaz’d been too tense for a few days, so I thought putting him with you would do him good. Less pressure when working with a lieutenant.”

Simon looked at him closely, deciding whether or not he believed him. He decided to. He knew Price well and he knew he wouldn’t lie to him about it.

“Now I understand what happened with Amelia.”

The Captain’s face hardened a little.

“Stop dwelling on it, son.”

“Talk to her,” Simon replied, leaning back in bed and taking a deep breath.

Price snorted and scratched the back of his neck.

“You’re really stubborn.”

“I learned from the best.”

The Captain let out a laugh and shook his head. He took a deep breath and got up.

“I’ll try, though I don’t promise it’ll be enough.”

“Works for me.”

At that moment, Price fished in one of his pockets and pulled out a piece of paper. Simon recognized him instantly.

“I think this is yours,” he said, placing it on the small table. “I haven’t opened it.”

Ghost tilted his head to look at the envelope, covered in places with blood, and remembered the night he wrote it. One of those in which sleep eluded him and he spent the night watching Soap sleep.

“I appreciate it,” he replied quietly.

Price scratched the back of his neck.

“I guess who it’s for,” he commented. “If you haven’t told him, maybe now is a good time to do so. It’s… hard not to get a chance for it.”

Simon realized that he was talking about himself and had to agree with him. While he was dying in that Gulag, one of the things he most regretted wasn’t having been completely honest with John; of not having told him everything he felt. However, now that he was out of danger, Simon didn’t have the courage to do it.

He sighed.

“I’ll keep it in mind.”

Price nodded and put a hand on his shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“You’ve had a long day, I’d better let you rest.”

He left the room, and Simon stared at the door for a moment, his gaze blurring as his own thoughts carried him away. Simon felt strange because it was the first time he’d gotten into other people’s lives; he had never cared what people did and what decisions they made. However, both Price and Amelia played a very important role in his life and Simon, although he knew it, hadn’t been aware of it until this moment. He knew that Soap had much more influence over him than he would ever admit, not only in the area of trust, but also in showing what he felt towards other people. Positive emotions, something new for him, who was used to expressing the opposite. Therefore, knowing that Price and Amelia hadn’t closed that chapter of their lives, he believed that they needed a push to do so.

Simon closed his eyes and sighed. He moved his hand to where Soap had been and found himself missing him, but he knew he needed to sleep. Simon felt weariness wash over him softly and he didn’t fight it. Tomorrow would be one day less in his recovery process and one better day because he could see a rested John. A jolly John full of desire to talk.

He smiled slightly. That was the only medicine he needed.

[onmytape]

I would welcome ur thoughts on the draft if you want to share...

where do I start??

i almost missed the draft haha. I managed to mooch off of walmart's wifi and watched a stream of someone else's stream of the draft for three hours. I actually watched sportsnet's yt stream for most of it and saw some player interviews but they ran right through the actual draft and I missed half of the picks and then they just stopped streaming half way through the first round. I'm trying to catch up on all the content and find a good quality stream to make gifs of. i'd love to know what everyone else thinks about any of this or anything else!

putting this in point form because i have a lot of random thoughts here and i'm sure i'll be annoying about draft stuff all weekend

Prefacing this by saying that i don’t know much about most of the teams that these players went to so i can’t give a good estimate to how they’ll work out in the organization. i know i'm not the only person who thinks this draft has more talent than the average draft. the top five projected picks could have easily been first overalls in any other year and the first two rounds are full of players that i think will have decent careers. i'm mostly in it for the fun friendships!

not much to be said about the top five. I think carlsson will fit better in anaheim and fantilli will be better in columbus. and he wanted to go there. will smith looks good in teal. He’s got that golden retriever thing that thomas bordeleau is going to hate. Reinbacher doesn’t deserve all the hate he’s getting. I’m excited to see how he does with the habs. I’m really surprised michkov fell so low. With picks like reinbahcer and simashev, i figure the teams that drafted them have a plan. It’s interesting to see what teams decide based on what they think their organization will benefit from. 

lots of whl players that went undrafted in previous years i think deserved to get drafted and i hope some will sign as free agents but i was happy to see milic and hanzel drafted.

notable draft buddies: lukas dragicevic and caden price to seattle. I’ve never cared about seattle but these two have been two of my favourite dmen to watch in the dub and on the u18 team.

nashville gets tanner molendyk and kalan lind. i wasn’t expecting molendyk to go so high but i personally think he’s one of the best dmen in the draft. His skating is a big strength. lind is a mitch marner type. Great until he opens his mouth. i got a little bit of dylan mackinnon (qmjhl) at the prospect game and i feel like he and lind will get along. and of course samuel honzek and jaden lipinski from the giants got drafted to calgary together!! i really wish they did all the rounds on the same day just so we could get pictures of players together in their jerseys. and for literally no reason i’m excited about leonard/cristall/allen in washington together.

the flyers have some good picks. I think in a few years, after michkov joins the team and the other prospects develop more, the future of the team will be really exciting. I like hart but i’m excited to see bjarnason. 

I personally think some players from the whl went way too low, cristall and heidt are definitely steals. I think a lot of teams will regret passing on them. wild fans seem to like heidt already. but that being said, i think danielson at 9, benson at 12, and yager at 19 was really good. i think every single player was jealous after yager got that call from crosby haha.

Heidt and ziemmer: these are my guys. Was 1000% not expecting minnesota and la but could be worse. 

The jets org is looking interesting with barlow, milic, and levis but i don’t know if i can go jets. Apparently milic is going pro this next season which will be interesting and i want to see ratzlaff as the starting goalie in seattle this year. it’s always complicated with goalies because you want to love them all and you also want them to play but that’s not always possible. i’m worried about hart/bjarnason but i figure that bjarnason will slowly transfer to the flyers when he’s ready and by then hart will have been pushed out or have moved on. I do like him but i can give him up in a few years. sorry. and now we finally have levi on the sabres and i know it’ll be a while until ratzlaff is ready for the pros but i’m not liking that situation either. 

I think myatovic absolutely deserved to go so high. He’ll need more development like everybody else but he’s a big guy and i think he’ll be notable in the future. With most of the core thunderbirds players moving on, i think myatovic will really step up.

in conclusion, i think i've accepted the draft order haha and not to use the word "exciting" for the thousandth time but i think this will be an exciting upcoming season and i can't wait to see how this draft class turns out over the next few years.

[default-profile-icon]

I obsess over my friends.

In a funny way, sure. But when I’m feeling happy, it’s a real obsession.

I want to tell my friends I’m thinking about them.

I want to send them cute pictures of the clouds in the sky and say “The weather is amazing here today”

I want to ask them all sorts of questions about the video games they’re playing. I want to make plans to see them in person again. I want to know what they’re up to today.

The reality is that I’m so ashamed of that part of me.

I’m embarrassed by it.

That’s me. I’m not mysterious. I’m a big dumb (said lovingly) golden retriever. Just a normal person, who longs to say “hi” to my friends all the time.

I’m here. I made it. I miss you guys. I have the attention span of a cricket. That’s me. I’m sorry. How are you?

The sky here is beautiful.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

[rcsentful]

Her golden gaze glitters and she bounces on her toes from sheer excitement. Her plan worked!

She needs to contain herself. “I’ve made an itinerary! Well, kind of.” She retrieves her phone from her skirt’s pocket and taps the screen to unlock it. “They’ve just opened up a moon jelly exhibit at the aquarium, so we gotta go. Uh, oh! Here.” She moves to stand beside the other, holding her phone between them so he can see, too. “The aquarium, like I said. There’s also this street full of food venders I’ve heard good things about,” she babbles. She wants to visit a boutique, try a desert, play at the arcade — she assures him that if they can’t get to everything, not to worry.

…Oh, right. “I, uh, I’m Ravenna Mochizuki,” she finally introduces herself. “I got too excited and forgot the most important part of a new friendship.”

Wow, a whole itinerary? She wasn't exaggerating when she said she'd had an entire day planned! He can tell she's pretty excited, too, and he can't help smiling a little at that -- His initial suspicions are fading a bit, starting to feel like he'd done the right thing here. Plus, this all sounds like a lot of fun -- It's been a long time since he got to just... Hang out with a friend and pretend he was a regular teenager for a while, pretend nothing with the League of Villains ever happened. Maybe it's a little selfish to think about it like that, though. Well, at least he's making her happy at the same time, right?

"Sweet, I haven't been to the aquarium in forever! I had no idea they had a new exhibit..." He hasn't been any of these places in forever, actually, but he should probably keep that to himself. He didn't wanna seem like a total weirdo right off the bat. "Even if we don't get to everything, we definitely won't run out of things to do!" It is a lot, though, a little overwhelming, but he blames it on his general anxiety. He wouldn't chicken out on this girl just because he was a little paranoid, damn it!

"Ah, right -- Nice to meet you!" At the mention of names, he fumbles for a moment, because god knows he couldn't use his real name. He stammers aimlessly for a second, before he finally seems to settle on something -- he went with the obvious answer, of course. He'd screw it up for sure if he picked anything else. "I'm... You can call me Deku." He'd come up with a last name, if pressed, but he was terrible at coming up with lies on the spot, even if they were relatively harmless ones.

"Oh, and uh, thanks for inviting me, by the way-! I know it's because your other friends bailed, but um, I still appreciate it, especially since you're covering for me and everything..."