#I’m making them in a ‘nervous cheetah’ way

[obstinaterixatrix]

I’m going to say something that will make some of my pals want to throttle me in confusion but I really don’t consider myself an extrovert

[xuhuihuis]

Doctors Orders | Wen Junhui

╰┈➤ warnings: doctor!jun, patient!reader, teasing, fingering, glove kink, pet names, semi-public sex, creampie

╰┈➤synopsis: You have been in pain for so long and turns it Dr. wen had a space for you to go and see him. He will try his best to solve your problem...

“Appointment for Y/N?” Jun shouted out into the waiting room as he scanned over the people sitting down until you stood up and started to walk closer to him. He greeted you with a smile as he held the door open for you to walk through before leading you into his office. You were finally so happy that you got this appointment after weeks of waiting and being in pain. The atmosphere between you both wasn’t awkward at all; it felt like he wasn’t your doctor at all. Jun was a very tall, handsome man, standing about 6 feet tall with dark hair and his sleeves rolled up, showing off his forearms. 

You walked into his office, and it didn’t appear too medical to you. He had many pictures of his cats on his walls, and the room was filled with sunlight, which flooded in through the windows behind the blinds. Before he sat down, Jun closed the door behind you and then pulled the chair out for you to sit on before he sat down at his desk. He was such a gentleman; no wonder he was one of the favourite doctors in the city.

“Just an annual check-up for you today?” He asked as he saw you nod. You were very nervous about this, and he could tell that Jun was doing his best to calm you down and make you feel at home here. The appointment started off okay with him asking you the usual questions, giving you the chance to relax and get comfortable. One way he made you comfortable was by giving you a water bottle out of the fridge and turning the fan on, letting you get any fresh air. He even decided to dig into his pile of silly jokes just to see you smile rather than fidget in the seat nervously. 

“Here's one for you! Why don’t cats play poker in the wild?” 

“I’m not sure.” Even after trying to figure it out, nothing was coming to you for an answer. 

“Too many cheetahs." Both of you started to laugh as he told you the answer. It was a silly joke, but it was worth it. His smile was so beautiful, so bright, and so cheerful that it could light up any room. It made Jun feel good to finally see you smiling with him; now you know why everyone said that he was one of the best.

Jun then got up from his desk to walk over to the sink beside you to wash his hands before he started to touch you. You couldn’t help but look at his hands as he was beside you, almost drooling over them in a way. The hot water made the veins in his hands more prominent as he washed them. You could only dream of what they feel inside of you, rubbing against your walls and making you feel so good. But you were soon snapped out of your daydream as he almost caught you looking as he turned around. Immediately, you turned away from Jun, looking around his room, letting yourself look around the room, and asking him about his cats as a distraction. 

“Aww, what's their name?” you say as you point to a picture of a white cat that was in front of you. Jun looked to where you were pointing, and he started to lighten up even more as he was reminded of one of his babies. Any time he was away from them at work, Jun missed his cats, never mind being away for longer than a shift. 

“That’s Angel! She really does live up to her name.” You couldn’t help but melt at the way he talked about the cats, like he would with children. He must value them so much to talk about them to anyone who listens. 

Mentally, you were kicking yourself for having a crush on him when he was your doctor, and there was nothing you could do about it. First of all, Jun would risk losing his job if anyone were to hear or see you both up to no good. His broad shoulders were enhanced by his crisp white shirt, which was tucked into his tiny waist. Even with one glance, he had you mentally screaming as he went over to his desk to get a stick before he stood in front of you. 

You didn’t mean to, but you gasped as he bent down to your height, looking you straight in the eyes. Jun’s dark hair fell over his eyes, which made him look more charming. His warm breath fanned over your face, and as he was so close to your face, you were both almost touching. He had such a gentle touch with you as he tilted your head to look at him, making it easier to do the next check. 

“Open up for me.”

You opened your mouth wide enough for him to look into the back of your throat, pressing the stick down on your tongue. The taste of the wooden stick was horrible, but that was the least of your worries, as Jun was right in front of you and this close to your face. It was impossible to even hear what he was saying over the thumping of your heartbeat taking over your hearing. Jun was finding it impossible to stay professional, as you never broke eye contact with him one time during it, looking into his eyes with an innocent, puppy-like look. 

Jun thought he got through the check without any bother, but he couldn’t stop thinking about the way you were looking at him. Letting his mind wander to what you would look like on your knees for him before he fucks your face. He dug his fingers into the arms of his chair as he felt his pants get tighter every time he thought of you down on your knees for him taking his cock down your throat. 

The rest of the appointment was going rather smoothly as he talked to you through more questions and checks. But Jun was the one falling into your trap deeper and deeper as time went on, and he didn't even realise it at first. He was mentally kicking himself for falling for your teasing, but it was having a significant amount of effect on him, more than you even hoped for. 

“Now, Y/N, if you would like to jump up on the bed behind you, I will close the curtain for you to take your underwear off. Tell me when you are ready.” Your eyes almost popped out of your head as you realised it was finally time. What were you going to do now? You were in big trouble as your cunt was dripping wet with need for Jun. He will now know how desperate you are for him. Reluctantly, you got out of the chair as Jun followed close behind you to close the curtain behind you as he waited patiently.

You couldn’t help but shake as you stripped your clothes off of your bottom half one by one. Very slowly, you hooked your fingers underneath the elastic of your panties before pulling them down and feeling the cold air hit your clit. All you could do now was wait for him to appear from behind the curtain and hope he didn’t say anything to you. 

“I’m ready, sir." You shouted, letting Jun know he could come in after giving you the privacy you needed. The name sounded so perfect coming off of your lips, but he could focus on that right now. He peeled back the curtain to see you sitting with your legs up in the stirrups, the blanket covering your bare legs. You couldn’t help but be nervous for this part of the exam.

Inhale. Exhale. taking deep breaths as his steps get closer to you, finding it impossible to even look in his direction. The tension between you both was so thick that it could be cut with a knife. You couldn’t even talk to him without choking on your words and stumbling over them without even meaning to. Every hair on your body was standing up in anticipation as his cold, gloved hands smoothed over your skin as he sat down on his stool. 

“Take a deep breath for me." You couldn’t look in his direction now that it was so intimate that you would mess something up at this point in the appointment. Jun opened the bottle of lube and covered his fingers in it before he slowly inserted his fingers into your cunt. This was all part of the checkup, you thought. Holding tightly onto the blanket was the only thing keeping you grounded as moans threatened to fall from your lips. It would be so wrong to moan for him, but God, he felt so good. 

The feeling of his glove-clad fingers was unusual, but it felt so good as he scissored his fingers deep inside of you. You knew it was for your own health, but you couldn’t help but let your mind wander as his fingers travelled deeper, searching for anything, but you were perfect. Sitting there, taking his fingers like you were made for him, a pretty doll. Jun gulped as you let out a gorgeous moan, finding it hard not to when he felt that good inside of you. 

You couldn’t help but feel empty as he pulled his fingers out of you, leaving you wanting more. Could you get away with doing anything? Would you both want to risk it?

“Junnie, I need more." Fuck. Why did you say that? You will never see him again after this, never mind coming back to this doctor's office. You were getting ready to get up and leave without saying anything, but he held you tight by the wrist, pulling you back down. He couldn’t lose a girl like you over something like this, even if it meant risking his job. The walls were soundproof after all; he had to put them to the test once.

Your feet hang off the side of the bed as you look at your feet, not even noticing Jun’s tall figure standing there beside you. Jun’s presence was enough to make you turn your head up and look him in the eyes. This time, his once sparkly eyes were now hazed over with lust. The thrill of being caught with him was just adding to the situation even more. Wanting to see how far you could both push it. It was impossible to describe the feeling of the gloves against your skin, but it just felt right. 

“Do you still want this, Y/N?” 

“Yes.” 

The small space between you both was finally closed as his lips were finally against you. He knocked all of the air out of your lungs as he kissed you with so much desperation for you. Finally getting to kiss the woman of his dreams, you were one of the most beautiful women that Jun has ever seen working in this doctor's office. The faint taste of his strawberry lip balm could still be tasted as he deepened the kiss. Holding onto the edge of the bed wasn’t enough, as he was so strong.

“I need you so bad, Jun." You whimpered out, needing to feel him and be the one pulsing around his cock, making him moan. His kisses were so messy with need and desperation for you, never wanting to pull away from your sweet lips for a break. When Jun pulled away, you finally got to see how dazed he really was with his swollen lips. Some of your lipgloss had transferred onto his lips, but it made him look prettier. 

You couldn’t keep your eyes off of him as you watched him strip as you sat with all of your weight on your elbows. Slipping each button off one by one, he revealed his beautiful collar bones and toned chest. The sight of him undoing his belt was so sensual, as the leather just slid out of his belt loops as he never looked away from you the whole time. It was soon on the floor behind him and then with his shirt. You knew he liked going to the gym, but all of this work had been paying off. His muscles were so defined that it was hard not to ignore them. 

Jun groaned as you let your nails graze over the muscle of his bicep, feeling the way the muscle flexed underneath your touch. His honey skin was so warm underneath your cold touch that it sent shivers down his whole body. You couldn’t get enough of the noises that fell from Jun’s lips as you started to kiss his neck and find that one spot on his neck. 

“Darling, please” His voice was so airy and filled with desperation for you that you both had enough of the teasing. Quickly, you unbuttoned his pants, and they fell down to his ankles. Jun took off his underwear as you leaned back on the bed, showing off your dripping cunt to him and the mess that was now pooling below you. Your head rolled back as his glove-clad finger started to rub over your sensitive clit as the head of his thick cock rubbed against your entrance. 

Nothing could have prepared you for the stretch that you felt as he finally gave you what you really wanted, and buried himself deep inside of you. Your knuckles ended up turning white as you held onto the edge of the bed so tightly as you got used to his size. He felt heavenly inside of you, like Jun was made to be with you and no one else. Jun held you tightly by the hips, so you were going nowhere; no matter if you fell, he would have your back. God, you never expected to be this big, but he filled you up so well that it felt like you were on cloud nine. 

“Relax for me, darling,” he said in a hushed tone, giving you the chance to adjust without feeling rushed in any way. Jun was so gentle and kind with you that it melted your heart; he was a true gentleman. Burying his neck into the side of your neck, let him inhale your sweet scent fully. Jun’s mouth watered as the smell took over his senses, never wanting to forget it. Such a sweet and floral scent, which matched your personality perfectly for who you were as a person. 

All you could focus on was him and the pleasure that you were feeling as he started to move inside of you. He couldn’t look away from your beautiful facial expression, as he never wanted to hurt you like this. 

“You take me so well,” God, his deep voice sounded so sensual, praising you in such a dirty way. The feeling of the added adrenaline of being caught ran through your body so fast that it was almost choking you in some way. Jun’s hand quickly covered your mouth, startling you as your moans were getting too loud. Sweet, sensual moans praising Jun for making you feel this good. 

“Junnie, it’s too much." Your voice broke as he fucked you deeper and quicker as the bed started to rock into the wall due to the force of his hips. Now, Jun was determined to make you both cum, no matter if he got suspended from his job or not. Grunting loudly as your cunt clenches down on him as he hits that one spot inside of you. A devilish smirk appeared on his face as he realised that he had found the spot that made you feel so good. He didn’t stop at all. You hung onto his shoulders, biting down on your lower lip in an attempt to muffle your moans, but it was no use.

“N-need to cum” Babbling to Jun, hoping that he could understand your babbles as you struggled to find the words as you were so close to your orgasm. There were no words to describe how good he felt, feeling so filled up with his cock. You couldn’t hold yourself up, relying on the strength of Jun to still hold you as it all became too much for you to handle. 

You tried to warn him, but it was no use as you came with a muffled scream; it was too good to keep quiet. You lay there with your eyes rolled back until he could see the whites in your eyes. Jun made sure to still fuck you through your high, riding it out and letting the feeling wash over your body fully. He made sure to hold onto your legs tightly as he rubbed the skin underneath, the cold of the gloves contrasting with your fiery skin. 

Jun couldn’t help himself; he came shortly after you, finding it hard to hold back with the way you were clenching around him. He tried to pull out to come on your stomach, but you locked your legs around him, telling him to cum inside of you. Really? Letting him cum inside of you on the first meeting like this, God, you will be the death of him at this rate. The man slightly bit down on your shoulder to muffle the groan as he poured into your cunt. It was so warm and thick.

Jun looked down to where your bodies connected and was greeted by the mess that was both of you mixing and pouring onto the bed underneath you. Jun collapsed his whole body weight on top of you, panting and laughing as you brushed his hair out of his face to see his flushed cheeks. He melted under your touch, never wanting to move from this position, but you needed to get cleaned up. 

“Is there anything else I can help you with today, Y/N?

[emmikoochaitea]

Hello everyone! After a while I’m finally releasing my space rider ocs public after working on them for a while! (the dangerous critters as space riders) I’ve kept them hidden for awhile because of shyness but I decided to finally show them all off! This au belongs to @onyxonline

I’ll be sure to draw the riders as spies and spellcasters too but I wanted to finish all the full outfits of the full group shot of space riders first!

There is also gonna be a fanfic I’m working about them and hopefully you’ll like it! Enjoy my silly goobers! Let’s give them all a small introduction!

Since originally the dangerous critters are sort of rivals to the critters, all of them are pretty competitive and kinda? Mean to the og critter due to some dumb childhood rivalries that are petty.

Sinful Shepherd: The leader of the crew! He’s a kind yet strong willed dog that has a lot of empathy for others and tries to be friendly at first. However he knows how to stand his ground and won’t hesitate to punch someone to put them in your place. He can be clumsy and nervous sometimes as well but always has his heart in the right place and is a good leading figure!

Whimper Wolf: Why is he second in command? The others are wondering that too! He’s really shy, seems scared of everything and usually stays nears Sinful Shepherd. But Sinful still seems to trust him and has given him the role for the crew. Although he still gets scared and panics, he has proven himself in battle he can handle cultist and be a good rescuer just.. in his own scared panicky way?

Noxious Neveah Kangaroo: She’s the team’s medic but also a professional boxer and is a BEAST on the field! She uses her strong legs to pack a painful kick that makes the pain last weeks! She’s very energetic and loves fighting more than anything. If you have a cultist fight without her she’ll just take offense and probably ignore you for a week out of pettiness.

Cassi Carless Cheetah: Neveah’s best friend and partner in crime. She’s also a beast on the field but a bit different from Neveah. Her talent is super speed with her strong legs and it’s hard for any cultist to try and run from her when she can catch up to them in just a few seconds!

KittyBelle: Sinful’s adopted sister. She’s a calm caring soul and sweetheart who loves fashion and galas. She’s the one who made all the crew’s gala outfits as she’s a professional outfit maker on the sideline of a space rider!

Frantic Ferret: He’s more focused on right now as a thief and rebel for the prototype’s cult. He’s had a traumatic past that involved them and set up a small rebellion of other victims and survivors that suffered at the hands of the cult. However he justifies his morals by pickpocket and stealing from others and using it for this small rebellion. He eventually will get arrested by the crew but that hasn’t happened yet.

Carter Cobra: Frantic’s best friend and partner through it all, he’s the engineer of the rebellion and a bit of an odd ball when it comes to research and science. He helped Frantic start his rebellion and has followed him ever since. He makes small gears for the rebellion and creates robotic things to help his friends.

Fenni Fennec: Formally training to be a space rider, Fenni was kidnapped by cultist and raised and manipulated into believing her friends left her for dead and the prototype saved her, giving her a twisted mind set and hatred for the dangerous critter crew. She plans to torment them and get rid of them all, and bring them to the prototype, doesn’t matter if alive or dead.

[katelynnwrites]

If You Ever Wanna Fall In Love, If You Ever Wanna Bet On Us, If You Ever Wanna Be My One (I’ll Be Waiting) | Ona Batlle

warnings: so much fluff

word count: 2068

summary: the story of how you fell in love with ona and how ona fell in love with you

chosen song: i’ll be waiting by cian ducrot

a/n: bonus chapter 5 of you were bigger than the whole sky (you were more than just a short time)

Ona seems nervous as she leads the way to her house, which is a short walk from the bus stop.

You had never been there before but when Ona invited you over for lunch, there was no way you were going to say no.

You had only known the brunette for two weeks but you had quickly learnt that it was almost impossible for you to say no to her. Plus you would never miss an opportunity to spend more time with her.

The twelve year old defender’s very good at making you laugh and you feel entirely comfortable with her. You like her.

‘We’re here.’ Ona softly says.

Ona’s house is a nice one and as she opens the door, you realise that it’s homey and obviously well lived in.

It makes sense that Ona would live here because her house feels warm and welcoming, exactly like how Ona feels to you.

‘It’s lovely Oni.’ You genuinely tell her.

Ona practically beams, ‘Come on, I’ll introduce you to my mother.’

Ona takes your hand in hers and guides you to her kitchen, where her mother is making tapas.

She greets you with a warm smile and immediately says, ‘Hi. You must be the friend my daughter is always talking about.’

‘Mama.’ Ona protests, her cheeks flushing.

Even the tips of her ears are red and you laugh.

‘Hola Mrs Batlle.’

‘Hola. And none of that Mrs Batlle nonsense please, it makes me feel old. You can call me Mama or Mami, whichever you prefer because I have a feeling that Ona here, will be bringing you around a lot.’

By then, Ona’s as red as a tomato and she disappears from the kitchen, mumbling something about setting the table.

Ona’s mother laughs, before looking you up and down.

‘You need some feeding. Look how skinny you are, don’t your parents feed you? Come on, sit down and eat this.’

She hands you a plate of food, practically shooing you out into the dining room.

******

You don’t say anything, simply sitting down next to your fourteen year old girlfriend and taking her hand in yours. (even at fourteen, she has a tendency of getting too far into her own head).

You squeeze it tightly and Ona inhales sharply.

Leaning closer to her, you murmur, ‘Onita I know you’re blaming yourself for that own goal. I’m not going to tell you to stop because I know you better than that. But I just want you to remind you that you are an amazingly talented defender and that no one else is blaming you. It’s only halftime and we still have another forty five minutes to make a difference.’

It’s a small stolen moment in the crowded locker room where your coach is giving a loud halftime speech. The air stinks of sweat and it couldn’t be a less romantic moment but it’s the one where Ona realises she’s in love with you.

******

‘Hola Mami. Is Ona home?’ You say as you walk into the kitchen of Ona’s home.

Ona’s mother greets you with a tight hug.

‘Sí. I think she’s having a nap.’

You laugh. Fifteen year old Ona had recently discovered that naps after training sessions are a good idea.

‘She’ll probably be asleep for a few more hours so sit down and I’ll fix you a plate.’

You begin to protest her generosity but she gives you a knowing look.

‘You only went home to shower after practice didn’t you? You haven’t eaten yet.’

Ona’s mother takes your silence as an answer and she starts taking out leftovers from the fridge so that she can warm them up for you.

‘Thanks Mami.’

‘You’re welcome.’ She hums and kisses your forehead maternally.

******

When you’re done eating, you wash your plate despite Ona’s mom telling you that you didn’t have to.

Then you head up to your girlfriend’s room.

The brunette is all wrapped up in her comforter, clutching her stuffed cheetah close.

You giggle softly, walking over and pressing a kiss onto her cheek.

Ona doesn’t even stir so you pull the comforter back slightly and slip in behind her.

Her twin bed is cramped with the both of you in it but it lets you be closer to her so you have no complaints.

Gently, you drape an arm around her waist and settle yourself down for a nap.

******

Ona wakes to find you curled into her and she smiles.

‘I don’t know when you got here but I love that you’re here.’

She happily runs her fingers through your hair, adjusting herself so that she’s able to tuck your head under her chin. The defender easily puts her stuffed cheetah aside in favour of holding you.

Ona is looking at you with complete adoration when her mother quietly knocks on her door before opening it.

‘Oh you two are so cute.’

Ona grins, ‘I don’t know about me but mi novia is plenty cute.’

Ona’s mother laughs.

‘Well do you know if she’s staying for dinner?’

The brunette thinks for a moment and then nods, ‘Probably. She said her parents won’t be home until late and I’ll feel better if she ate with us instead of alone at her house.’

‘Okay.’

The older Spaniard makes to leave but pauses.

‘Ona?’

‘Yes Mama?’

‘You look at her like she’s your whole world. When are you going to tell her you’re in love with her?’

‘Mama!’ Ona starts but as her mother raises an eyebrow, she sighs.

She looks at you for a moment before looking back up at her mother.

The fullback keeps her voice soft, not wanting to wake you, ‘Not yet. I can’t tell her yet. We’ve only been dating less than a year and I don’t want to scare her off.’

Ona’s mother chuckles, ‘Have you seen the way she looks at you? Ona, she’s completely in love with you too.’

The brunette blushes and whispers, ‘I hope so. I really do.’

******

After you and Ona exchange your first I love yous, it’s like Ona can’t stop (and you hope she never does).

You may have admitted your love for her first but she is just (if not more) eager to make sure that you know she loves you too.

She tells you she loves you every chance she gets and your heart never fails to skip a beat whenever she does so.

‘I love you.’ She says now, pressing a little kiss to the skin just below your ear.

You shiver and she repeats the action, whispering another soft, tender, ‘I love you.’

Aitana gags, ‘You guys, not here!’

******

‘You came!’

Ona leans up on her tiptoes so that she can kiss you. She had sprinted right over to the stands as soon as the whistle had blown, not bothering to celebrate the important win with the rest of the Barcelona B team. (she celebrates with you before she turns to her family, much later but her parents aren’t mad, knowing how much you mean to her. her mother is in fact too busy taking photos of the both of you to even think about it).

‘Of course I did.’ You whisper, smiling at the sight of your sweaty sixteen year old girlfriend who had just played a brilliant ninety minutes.

Ona gently pushes you back to make some space so that she can climb over the barrier.

She does and she’s extra cautious not to accidentally bump into you, not wanting to hurt you any further.

Your persistent foot injury had been keeping you from playing and that had been getting you down recently.

Ona had been trying her best to comfort you but she felt like the fact that she had been playing regularly while you weren’t was making you upset.

The brunette carefully kisses you again and you frown.

‘Oni why are you holding me like I’m going to disappear?’

Ona’s hands squeeze your waist and she hugs you, being mindful of the walking boot you had on again.

‘I-I didn’t think you were going to come.’ She admits.

She hadn’t dared to text you prior to the game, not wanting to rub salt into your obviously painful wound.

Her words leave you confused but you answer her anyway, ‘Why wouldn’t I come Ona? This is a big game for you and if I can’t be on the field with you, I want to be your WAG. I’m here to support you and our teammates. Mostly you though.’

You lower your voice to a whisper for the last sentence, a teasing smile tugging on your lips.

‘I didn’t think I could love you more. But I do. I love you so much.’ Ona earnestly says.

‘Well I love you so much too.’ You promise, hugging your girlfriend tightly.

‘Never doubt that you are important to me mi amor. I’m always going to support you.’

The brunette sniffles, pushing her face into your neck and placing a short kiss there.

That is the first moment Ona realises she’s going to love you for the rest of her life.

******

Sitting up, you happen to glance at the clock on your bedroom wall.

‘Ona? It’s six already!’

Ona looks up from her textbooks, her eyes wide as she realises you’re right.

‘Joder.’

Hurriedly, she starts putting her school work back into her bag and you help her collect all her things to make sure she hasn’t forgotten anything.

‘Gracias mi amor.’ Ona pecks your cheek quickly, rushing out of your room.

She was supposed to have left your house at five forty five because her grandparents were coming over for a family dinner but obviously she had not been keeping track of time.

You laugh, just thinking about the flustered expression on your seventeen year old girlfriend’s face as you straighten the covers on your bed.

Making your way to your front door, you lock it. Through the little window, you can see that it’s started raining.

You’ve just taken out your phone to text Ona, to wish her a safe trip home when there’s a series of loud knocks on your door.

You check the peephole and are startled to see your completely drenched girlfriend on the other side.

Opening the door, you begin, ‘Ona hey-’

She presses her lips to yours before you finish your sentence.

When she pulls away, she tenderly tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear.

‘Bye.’ She breathes.

Ona takes a step back into the rain, her nearly waist length hair plastered to the sides of her face.

‘Onita what?’ You shake your head in confusion, a little smile gracing your face as you look at the soaked brunette.

Ona shrugs lightly, ‘I forgot to give you your goodbye kiss. I love you mi amor but I’ve really got to go. I am so late. Bye!’

Your girlfriend blows you a kiss before running back up the street to the bus stop.

Giggling, you watch her till she’s out of sight.

It occurs to you as you go back inside, that for the rest of your life, she’s the one you’re going to be in love with.

******

The rest of the world finds out that the two of you are in love with each other when Manchester United uploads their newest The Tour View vlog.

Both of your social medias frequently feature each other and neither of you are afraid to let the fans know how much you love each other. If a curious fan were to scroll down, they would see that from the very beginning of the two of you’s Instagram presence, there were posts about each other.

During the three, almost four year break, Ona had not taken down any of your posts together. You had but right after you and Ona got back together, you’d unarchived all of them.

But it’s that one YouTube video that blows up.

In the short clip filmed by Millie during the flight, you’ve got your head resting on Ona’s shoulder as you sleep.

Millie zooms in on the both of you with the camera and Ona can be seen gently pressing a kiss onto the side of your head.

When Ona mouths an ‘I love you’ to further convey her affection, the English woman can be heard saying, ‘And over there we have United’s one and only couple. Look how disgustingly in love they are.’

Spanish Translations:

hola - hello

sí - yes

mi novia - my girlfriend

joder - fuck

gracias mi amor - thanks my love

[somberjoon]

METANOIA [4]

✩ pairing: wolf hybrid nj x cheetah hybrid reader (f) - eventual ot7 x reader

✩ genre: soul-searching , romance🔞 , found-family , healing , angst , happy ending

✩ word count: 6.3k

✩ chapter warnings: uncertainty in behavior and emotions , anxiety and crying , discussions of inadequacy and feelings

✩ summary: She doesn't know. There is so much about her and her cheetah that she hasn't had the privilege to understand. Unknown backgrounds and unknown emotions clash with feelings of want- hopes of being herself unapologetically. Namjoon seems to be someone that can help her- but can the rest of his pack truly be what she has wanted and needed?

✩ cover: me

ch.1 , ch.2 , ch.3 , ch.4 , ch.5

“Joonie! I’m so happy to finally catch you while I’m in the office. How are you?” 

Mila was always a rock in Namjoon’s life- one he didn’t know he’d need or find. When Mila found him, he was just another hybrid that needed help when the system was against him in multiple ways. Because he was too old to be “supported” by the shelter he was in, his choices were either to be kicked out with no resources or to end up with a mysterious fate because of the shelter’s shady practices. Now he knows what they do- trafficking, the selling of specific hybrids to different illegal industries, illegal euthanization- but back then, he was going to choose that route blindly, just so he wasn’t living on the streets. 

Mila found him when she was making her rounds at the shelters, using the organization’s funds to pay the little fees the ‘of-age’ hybrids were under. She helped him personally, as her position wasn’t what it is now- placing him in a temporary home, visiting him personally for readjustment with humans, and helping him find a job that was hybrid friendly. She’s someone that’s dear to him, as he is to her. 

“I’m doing great, how are you?”

“Eh, the new position is a lot more work, but I have more say in where our money goes so- I can’t be too mad.” She eyes the disengaged cheetah that seems to be lurking right outside her office. “Is this-? Taehyung?”

Mila never really had the time to meet Namjoon’s pack, and the rest of his pack never had the time or ability to come into the organization while she was in office- Taehyung and Mila have never met each other but know of each other. Namjoon wishes it didn’t have to be a random check-in that got her to meet his family but this is what it has come to.

“This is. Taehyung.” He turns and waves the nervous cheetah in, giving his waist a squeeze to keep him close and less anxious. 

Mila’s smile is enough to have Namjoon relaxing at the first meeting, but Taehyung isn’t one for first impressions- he values time and familiarity. 

“It’s very nice to meet you, I’m Mila.” She stretches out her arm to invite the cheetah in for a handshake. Taehyung doesn’t shy away from formal greetings so he gives in immediately. 

“Nice to meet you too.” Mila brightens at the response, letting his hand go to clasp both of hers together in front of her. 

“I’m gonna be honest, I think I know why you’re here but, I’d love to hear what you have to say.” Mila looks up at the two from her office chair. 

“It’s about the new case-”

“You can use her name here.”

“Y/N- I’m the only known hybrid that’s been in contact with her, and she definitely hasn’t met another like her. Taehyung also hasn’t met someone like him because of their rarity. I thought this would be a great opportunity for the two, but I didn’t share any information or specifics as I knew he’d need to be with the organization to help personally. I talked to them both and they both are up to having a time to meet up- is there a way we can make that possible?”

“Honestly, I think it would be great to see Y/N making these connections and having these relationships naturally. Through you and through Taehyung when he meets her- I think she would benefit greatly from creating these connections herself by her choice- without the help from the organization. I don’t mind them meeting, I don’t need him to be an official volunteer. If she consented to the meeting, then information can be shared between you and Taehyung- of course the most basic information out of decency, but you get it.” 

“Ah I guess I didn’t think about it that way. Nothing like this has come up before.” Namjoon looks over at Taehyung to gauge his reaction, reading a calmed expression that Namjoon knows is relief.

“No worries, it truly depends on the circumstance. But, I trust you and I trust your judgment. And I really like the idea.” Mila’s praise makes him blush a little, tail happily wagging at her confession.

“Thank you, I’ll make sure to make notes.”

“Let her know that the meeting can be out of volunteer hours if you both would like that as well. Notes aren’t a necessity all the time, especially if you guys are creating relationships outside of just a ‘volunteer’ stand-point.”

“Oh- uh, I’ll definitely talk to her about it.”

“Perfect. Is that all you need from me then?” 

“Professionally? Yes. Personally, I’d love for you to meet my pack members sometime, even if it’s just me and one other or a couple at a time whenever we can make it work. I’ve been wanting to but these last couple years-” 

“I understand, Namjoon, don’t worry. I understand pack dynamics and the adjustment period for the new members. Don’t worry at all. If anything I’d love to give you a paid position here- and then maybe we’d be able to figure something out sooner.”

Mila has been trying to push a paid position into Namjoon’s lap for almost a year now, but working offsite for a hybrid shelter feels more important at the moment. The shelter is still not up to par in his opinion, and the hybrids under his care know him personally. He couldn’t leave them with someone random, that’s the worst thing someone could do to them- connect, then leave them with little to no notice. Once you connect with them, you’re a strong tie to them emotionally. Though he doesn’t see them all the time, he does random check-ins weekly and everything is going okay. 

This is only the third shelter he has done monitoring at thanks to the organization helping him find a job in the ‘hybrid facility monitoring’ department of a local law firm. He is satisfied with his job, and he loves to do volunteering in his down time. He doesn’t want to change anything at the moment. 

“I’m really sorry, I enjoy how I have everything at the moment. But, I won’t just leave the organization randomly, maybe later on when I need to get out of the house more often I’ll get back to you.” He gets a sweet laugh out of Mila before turning to Taehyung to see he’s antsy being out in an unfamiliar environment for so long when it’s not needed. 

“I’ll try to catch you another day to make some plans, but I gotta get home to log in- I’ll see ya’.” He gives Taehyung’s waist a quick squeeze for reassurance. 

“Of course, of course. I’ll see you later- and goodluck with everything.” She gives him a familiar smile that he knows is something a little more than a kind farewell. He returns it with a nod before turning to leave. 

-

Y/N

Her restless body wakes her far too early. She stares at her dark ceiling, too many thoughts rolling around in her head. 

Having relationships is odd to her, in a way that feels emotionally taxing. She’s to be mindful of how she presents herself, how she talks, how she reacts to their personality. It’s all so much to think about. With Maria she’s used to it, with Richard it’s getting easier, with Namjoon it feels like no work, but someone from Namjoon’s pack that she’s never met before? It’s scary thinking about how wrong it could go. 

Namjoon doesn’t even know enough about her to trust her with a pack member. She can’t help but think he’s being a little rash. She hasn’t told him anything. Nothing about how she survived on the streets, about who and why she distrusts so commonly, nothing about how she cowers under the attention of a man. She can’t do this- not without being a little honest with Namjoon. 

-

With her anxieties, Y/N ends up outside sitting in the divot of her favorite tree at the time that Namjoon shows up. 

“Ahhh, that’s where the spot is. Very nice.” 

She startles at the sudden disruption to her thoughts. Looking down at the comforting Namjoon that always quiets her mind, she mirrors the smile he’s giving her. Wasting no time, she scoots effortlessly to the edge of the divot and jumps down landing on her feet. She pats at her butt and the back of her legs to rid the fabric of any dirt or bark. 

“Here, you got leaves in your hair as well.” Namjoon doesn’t hesitate to help her pick a few of the green friends from her hair- always careful of her ears. Her attention is set on him and the attention he gives to her hair- until she spots the bag he’s holding. He clutches the plastic bag that clearly has two small containers of pre-cut watermelon in it. 

“Watermelon?” Is all she asks, hoping that he brought it for her again despite not being used to so much being bought for her. She’s okay with being spoiled a little if it’s out of her say- she’s never asked him to bring her the juicy fruit. She steps closer to give him a look she doesn’t clock as anything specific. 

(To Namjoon it is absolutely begging).

(Namjoon is a sucker.)

“No hug this time?” He asks her, pulling his arm with the plastic bag back around his back out of her reach. He stretches his other arm out for the hug, fake-hurt eyes looking down at her. 

She wants to relish in the feeling of his warmth- a constant heater- but she really would rather have the fruit as quickly as possible. She gives him a quick squeeze not even long enough for Namjoon to put his arm around her. All she can do is smile up at him and wait. 

Luckily he gives in, handing her the bag. 

“So, what should we do today?” Namjoon asks. 

She mentally smacks herself for forgetting everything so easily. 

“Actually- can we, maybe, go out today? Just to talk?” 

“Definitely. Do you have somewhere specifically you want to go?”

She thinks of all the places she’d be most comfortable at when having this conversation. Surprisingly- all that matters is that Namjoon is at that place with her. That’s where she’ll be most comfortable. 

“No, anywhere is fine.” 

-

It’s the same park where she was able to run freely in- the grass tall and breeze light, just as it was that day. He was the first person to ever open her up to the point he did that day as well. He was gentle, sweet. She has no idea how to act around Namjoon, but she wants to think they’re friends. Maybe this isn’t just a volunteer-case relationship. Or maybe this is just how hybrids treat each other and she never knew. With care and mindfulness that shows they’re all the same in some way. 

But, no matter how hard she tries- she can’t not think about him. About the way he holds himself, how perfect he is toward her. She didn’t have an ideal type before this, never once did she think that she’d be able to pick a person from a bunch and have these strange feelings. But he’s Namjoon- and she doesn’t want to lose him. 

She doesn’t let herself think too hard about it, this conversation will give her all the answers she needs. 

With both their windows down, Y/N watches as the park they ran in is slowly passed. She looks back at the large field, thinking of that day and why he didn’t stop to relive it. 

“Where are we going?” She turns to him. Never does she watch him as he drives them each time. She can’t put her finger on it just yet- but the sight of him and his muscles that she never pays attention to as he shifts the gear, turns the wheel, and rests his arm on the window makes her mad. Or irritated? Or- something. She just avoids seeing them as much as possible. 

“There’s this pretty look-out spot just up this hill, we’ll be able to see the park from there and the city in the horizon. I think you’ll like it.” 

The drive isn’t much longer but it’s definitely much more scary than usual. The steep sides of the hill that the road winds up to create is causing her to slink back into her seat so she doesn’t have to look at the drop. Namjoon maneuvers the twists well, but she can’t help but heave out a sigh when they finally reach the spot at the top that he parks into and cuts the ignition.

She forgets about the watermelon in her lap, immediately opening the bag to distract herself with something refreshing. Namjoon’s hand rests on her shoulder with a touch that’s barely even felt. 

“Are you okay? I’m sorry I should’ve warned you the drive was a bit much for the first time.” Her anxious nerves loosen up with the comforting touch, popping a piece into her mouth for further distraction. 

“It’s fine.” She looks out in the distance she wasn’t able to fully take in. The mid-day bustle of the city is quiet from here- silent and calling for appreciation. She didn’t realize how big it all was. “It’s pretty.” 

This is the first city she’s been in, two nearby towns and the surrounding areas were always small and harder to be unnoticeable in. She was in this city the longest after she realized she truly couldn’t take the stares and pitied looks any longer. In the city it’s a lot more common to be on the sidewalks, in alleys, under dried, old bridges. This was a place she could get used to living as she did- at the bottom of the food chain. Alone. It was the easiest way. 

“It is. Perfect for the good news I have.” Namjoon gives her a cheeky smile that lightens her mood unknowingly. “You can meet Taehyung whenever you’d like.”

“Taehyung?” She turns to him to show her attention. 

“Sorry I never let you know his name. I wasn’t sure how everything would go at the organization- and I didn’t know how to cross that line between us. Personal details and such.” Namjoon gives a little wave of his hands, nervous-looking for the first time. 

“But anyways, Taehyung would love to meet you this week, or even this weekend. He doesn’t need to be a volunteer to- I talked to him about it after we left the organization. He’d like to get to know you without any labels anyways. He wants something natural.” 

Her cheeks pink at the knowledge of Taehyung’s eager sounding wants when it comes to her. She didn’t think anyone would ever want to meet her. Let alone meeting her out of choice and wanting something more out of it all. This is a special case. Maybe he won’t like the way she acts, or the amount of emotional baggage she carries- maybe she’s not what he imagined- 

“Namjoon.” His name forces its way out before she can think more on it. 

 “Yeah?”

“Are you sure that I should meet him?” Namjoon’s attention snaps to her gaze. 

“Of course I’m sure. Are you- do you not want to anymore? It’s okay if you-”

“No. No, I want to. I just-” Her throat closes at the sight of his attention. His scanning eyes are trying to read her. A raw feeling of something bitter and gross fills her mouth. Her past, the things she’s done, the desires she has- she pushed them all down when they found her under that bridge. She promised herself she’d never look back. She’d never tell anyone. She’d never have to be that person again. She has the chance to be someone new. And still these awful things want to be seen. 

“Y/N?” Namjoon’s warm hand is placed on her’s that she set on the middle console. Instead of the usual warmth he gives her, the wretched memories make her yank herself from underneath him- sticking both her hands underneath her seated bottom. She pushes down the tears threatening to silently release. 

“You don’t know anything about me.” She whispers, worried about what she’ll say otherwise. She’s already turned to look out at the horizon so she doesn’t have to see his reaction to anything. 

“What do you mean?” 

She swallows thickly at the sound of him. God, this is worse than she’d thought it’d be. 

“You know nothing about me, Namjoon. Why would you trust me with him? Why would he want to meet me? Why-” She has to stop as a crack in her voice threatens to cause her wet eyes to spill over. “Why are you so nice to me when you know nothing?” It’s not how she wanted it to go. It’s not as simple as she wanted it to be. An impending feeling already takes hold. She’s doing this too soon. 

“Y/N.” Namjoon grabs her attention once again. Her attention is on him but she still doesn’t take her eyes away from the city. 

"Y/N." The assured voice draws her in more than she'd like to admit. Her eyes find his again. There's nothing malicious- only concern and interest.

"Can I ask why you are asking these questions? Just so I can understand better."

She tries to find disingenuous hints in his expression. The tightness of his features proves she can do this with him- he's being genuine. 

"No one knows anything about me except me. No one has ever shown me respect or care like Maria does, like- like you do. What- Why? Why would you? Why do all of this with nothing in return? Why waste your money and time with someone you have no reason to be around?" 

She somehow keeps her composure despite her voice being all over the place. 

“I’m trying to forget everything and just let it go but- but it’s obviously not working. And I’m confused as to why suddenly everyone is nice to me. After everything I’ve been through, now it’s like- it’s like nothing happened and everyone, including me, is ignoring it. I’m irritated, and I’m irritated that it’s my fault.” 

The tears fall helplessly now, silently and without any grand show of arrival. She can barely see his face through the blurry wetness- she wouldn’t want to see his reaction anyways. She’s embarrassed more than anything. 

“Y/N, I’m not here for no reason. I’m here for you.”

Her scoff is an audible, gross thing she can’t stop from coming out. 

“You want me to believe that?”

“Yes. Because I told you. Because you said I respect and care about you. Because I have a choice to be here, to spend my time and my money on you- and I choose to be here. With you.” His voice is even and gentle unlike hers- making her feel more wrong, more out of place and rancid next to someone like him. 

“Don’t do that.” Namjoon almost pleads. 

“Do what?” 

“I can tell when you’re thinking too much. Your eyes don’t meet mine and they go out of focus, your ears turn down like mine do when I’m overthinking, and your tail tightens around your waist. I can tell.”

She insecurely wraps her arms around her waist to cover her tail, feeling vulnerable. 

“We’re responsive and emotional- hybrids- we need emotional connection and likeness in something and someone. I’m here to be there for you when you need that.”

“I don’t want to be a case that someone has to tend to. I want a friend- I want-”

“What makes you think we’re not friends?” Namjoon cuts in when she can’t think of that specific thing she craves. 

“We know nothing about each other.” She mumbles, wiping the wetness from her face. 

“And we won’t know everything about each other for a long time. That doesn’t mean we’re not friends- that means we’re learning. It’s only been a couple weeks, Y/N, we aren’t just going to immediately tell each other everything. I know you wouldn’t want to- and I don’t want to just yet.” 

“Because you can’t trust me.”

“Because I want us to have something real. Something long-lasting and considerate. I don’t want us to trauma-dump and rely too greatly on each other. Of course no relationship is perfect, but that’s why we’ll learn. That’s why I’m glad we’re having this conversation.”

She composes herself enough with his response, relaxing just the slightest into the passenger seat. 

“Do you trust me?” He suddenly asks after not getting a response from a thinking Y/N. 

“Yes,” she confesses with a whisper, “that’s why I’m scared. Because I know nothing about anything and I still trust you.”

“I trust you too.”

“No you don’t.” 

“What’s the difference? Between your truth and my supposed lie?” 

“You’re perfect. You’ve got a family to think about and feelings you haven’t shared with me. You’re a hybrid- I barely am one, how would you trust someone like me?”

She watches as Namjoon’s eyes point out the changes in her comfort based on the slightest of movements. She just about scoffs again at the realization that she has no idea about any tells in hybrids. She knows nothing. 

“Our difference in backgrounds doesn’t change the feelings we have, or the responses we have to each other. Your choice to keep your past a secret is the same I have made. I haven’t always had a family and I haven’t always been the Namjoon you know. It doesn’t matter anyways, our past- not when we’re just trying to find people to comfort us and care for us.” Namjoon swivels his head to make sure Y/N is looking into her eyes when he finishes his response. 

“To trust blindly is the most vulnerable thing we could do- and that in itself is a lot more important- more meaningful than the pasts we are trying to hide.”

Y/N is speechless to say the least. Teary eyes watch Namjoon as his downturned eyes plead with her to understand. She doesn’t ever want to see him looking at her like this again- the ache in her chest and limbs clenches harder and harder with every passing second. 

“So- ask me again.”

“What?” 

“Ask me again why I trust you to meet Taehyung.”

At first she’s hesitant, closing her eyes to take a few deep breaths she desperately needs. Her lungs hurt but she breathes until they aren’t as tight. 

“Why would you trust me with him?” 

“Because I do. That should be enough, but since it’s not- I trust you because you’re a hybrid- because I know you both need this- because I met you and you’ve been nothing but gentle in our time together- because you are worried about who I bring around Taehyung, and that means more than you can imagine- because you’re you, Y/N. Because everything leading up to now has been nothing but pleasant and trusting.”

“Is that enough for you?” He asks with finality that she can feel in her bones. Because it is enough. It’s more than enough. It’s more than she could ever ask for and even-even more. Because she’d trust his judgment of hearself even if it wasn’t true. She’d shape herself into whatever he wanted.

“Yes. It is.” She swallows down a swirl of strange feelings, trying to grasp onto something to say, something to prove herself with. “You believe that I trust you?”

“I want you to trust me, with every piece of truth I can muster, I’d hope you feel that you can lean on me, trust that I’ll be there for you.”

This is turning into something she was nowhere near expecting. He’s putting far more into it than she thought he would. He’s crushing her down into a palm-sized thing for him to have and keep for whatever he’d need or want. 

“I’m scared to meet him.” She confesses. “I’m scared that I’ll be nothing he expected, nothing he’d care to meet again. I’m scared that it will mean everything to me but he’ll realize I’m broken and incomplete and he’ll never want anything to do with me.” She takes another deep breath, ready to seal her fate. “I’m scared that his distaste for me would lead to me never seeing you again.” 

The silence feels so suffocating, Namjoon just sits, waiting for something she can’t figure out. Until he’s opening his door and walking around to her’s, opening it and waving her out with no words. Blindly, she follows. Keeping her arms around herself to self-soothe. 

“Yell it. Yell out how you feel.” He stretches his arms out towards the horizon. 

“Why?” She asks, still stuffy-nosed and wet-eyed. 

“No matter our age, no matter the emotion that’s overwhelming us, we need to expel the pent up adrenaline that’s eating us alive. Yell it while no one but me can hear. Yell it to get it out of your bones and muscles- let it be between us.”

She looks at him skeptically but turns to the city, taking in the colors, the breeze, the obvious life that thrives there.  

“I’m scared.” 

“Louder.”

“I’m scared.”

“Louder, put your whole body into it.”

Y/N uncrosses her arms, unwraps her tail, and tries again. Leaning forward, she tries to forget how stupid she looks. 

“I’m scared!” She screams with a crack.

“Of what?” 

“I’m scared! Of everything!”

The relief is almost instant. A weight releases from her that she didn’t realize was a constant companion. With the relief comes an audible choke that she can’t stop. The loud sob causes her to bend over and catch herself on her knees. Sobs and choked breaths rip from her- all those times she forced herself to be silent in her pain, this is how it repays her. This is how her body finds revenge. 

But this time she’s not alone. 

Namjoon

The urge to soothe, to comfort is too strong for him to just watch as she breaks down in front of him. This was his idea- even if he knew she needed it, the expulsion of her emotions is more than he can handle to just watch. 

He gently pulls her up by the shoulder, letting her decide if she wants the same thing when he turns her toward him. Thankfully, there’s no hesitation in her leaning into him, pressing her wet face into the front of his shoulder, wrapping her arms tightly around his waist and torso. He doesn’t have to think about holding onto her, rubbing her back in motions he hopes are soothing for her. 

He lets the breeze-filled silence fill their space, waiting until her sobs turn into minimal hiccups and shaky breaths. 

“It’s okay to be scared,” he starts with a sure but calm tone, “but you don’t need to be scared about this one thing at least. Taehyung and I were the first of our pack. I know my pack very well, but Taehyung and I have had a lot of time to get to know each other.” He can’t help but let a light laugh out at the remembrance of their past. “I know that this meeting means the world to him- it means more than anything I think. He’s very in touch with his cheetah, and he has no one to share that with. None of us are like him. You could hate him and vow silence towards him and he’d still try over and over again to change your mind. He’s minimalistic and puts his thoughtfulness into actions instead of words. He’s emotional but extremely shy- he’ll want to be around you just to have you near, just to make sure you're real and safe.” 

Namjoon tries to think of anything else to reassure her, anything he knows is true and would help to calm her nerves. 

“I’m not in touch with my cheetah.” Her voice is more of a hum into his shoulder than anything, making goosebumps prickle underneath his long-sleeve shirt. 

“He won’t mind it one bit. Honestly-” He pulls back a little, causing her to pull her face from his body and look up at him. Her puffy eyes and red features make his heart clench, his ears immediately drooping at the sight. “I think he could help you with that more than either of us realize.”

-

“Are you sure about this?” Taehyung asks for the third time since they were getting ready to leave the house. This time, Namjoon is pulling into the Caddel household’s driveway as Taehyung looks around the front of the house nervously. 

“Yes. I was sure this morning, and I’m sure now.” 

Taehyung gives him an eye roll that could kill and waits for Namjoon to start the adventure up the front door before he takes action right behind him. 

Namjoon was careful to instruct Taehyung on possible triggers for Y/N before they set out for the day. He’s extremely understanding, especially when he can relate to what can cause discomfort. He also made the effort to wear freshly cleaned clothes to limit scents and present his own scent upfront. 

Namjoon’s at the door before Taehyung can ask anymore questions, knowing that if he could sit and anxiously wait for hours he would. With two knocks he expects Y/N to answer the door, but this time it’s Maria. 

“Hi sweetie,” she gives a smile to Namjoon, herding the boys into the house to take off their shoes and put on guest slides. “You must be Taehyung, very nice to meet you.” She smiles at him but doesn’t make him give a proper greeting to keep it casual. 

“Nice to meet you too.” Taehyung responds back as he waits for Namjoon to kick his shoes off. “Thank you for allowing me to visit Y/N.”

“Oh, of course! I’m very glad she has you guys, I want to do more for her but this is really the best way I can do that. So, thank you as well. Speaking of Y/N, she’s in her tree again- got too nervous and has been up there for about an hour now.” Maria explains. 

“You’re doing a lot for her, Maria, I know she really appreciates you. And thank you for letting us know.” Namjoon makes sure to let her know.

“Thank you for letting me know, I’ll try my best not to disappoint. You guys can go right out, I’ll have lunch ready in an hour.” She gives them confident smiles before letting them go. 

Namjoon leads the way, head circling with the possible outcomes. What if he doesn’t know how Taehyung would react? What if he was wrong and Y/N hates him forever because of it. What if he breaks her trust with the hope he wasn’t even trying to hide. He pushes that down, putting the trust he has in Taehyung to the forefront of his worries. He knows him. He knows how much this means to him. 

Y/N perches in her usual spot, looking up instead of out over the fence. Taehyung waits a few steps behind to allow her to come down to him out of choice. Another detail Namjoon thought would be good to include. 

“There she is.” Namjoon smiles up at her as she startles again. Her fast growing hair is in a high ponytail today, a common style now that she has the means to take care of it properly. The strands are pulled back carefully to accommodate her ears. The fuzzy, little things search for an out of sight Taehyung once she realizes he’s here. He gives her a minute to figure out what she wants to do. With a nervous look at Namjoon, he gives her an assured nod. 

It seems to be all she needs as she moves and hops down with practiced ease. With a look at Taehyung he sees the same nervous expression, giving him a knowing look to show it’s going to be okay as well. 

She peaks around the trunk just as she did when meeting Namjoon, but this time she wastes no time showing herself. She side steps to get to Namjoon’s side, accepting a reassuring hand on her back. 

“Taehyung, this is Y/N. Y/N, this is Taehyung.” 

Y/N

She honestly didn’t know what to expect in terms of feelings upon meeting him. There is that anxiety she hates so much, and the impending feeling of doom that she seems to have so much lately- but, there’s something else there. 

He’s pretty, just like Namjoon- he looks nothing like Namjoon, but pretty just the same. His hair is lighter than both her’s and Namjoon’s, a wavy style that seems effortlessly perfect. His ears peak out the top of his light brown waves, camouflaging well into the strands. He’s in clothes that seem to match her’s. Plain, comfortable bottoms and a plain t-shirt under a plain zip-up. His tail catches her eye, swaying effortlessly, lifted and cared for with no thought behind it. She looks down at her own to see it still wrapped around her waist like always. 

She gives him a nervous glance before unraveling it from herself and letting it fall as it usually does. She isn’t used to keeping it up, her muscles ache after those unplanned times it seems to have a mind for itself and sway around with no direction. Even now, she lets it fall into the grass under her socked feet- but it takes tentative swishes around under the attention of Taehyung. 

As she avoids looking at his face to not have to see his reaction to her unsure instincts, she startles at a sound from him. A shocked sound of joy leaves the other cheetah, causing her to look at him and find a toothy grin that stuns her. She looks up at Namjoon who seems to have a very similar expression towards Taehyung. 

“Go ahead.” He gives her a light nudge on the back. 

It’s not disgust on Taehyung’s face. It’s an expression she can’t place, but at least it’s not disappointment. He’s smiling at her so earnestly, she doesn’t think twice about taking the tentative steps to stand in front of him. Despite his now content smile, she can see his details up close. The wetness in his eyes surprises her. 

“Taehyung?” She questions. 

“You’re real.” He says, sounding more like he’s convincing himself than stating it to her. “You-” He lifts his hand to roll a curl of her’s between his fingers, looking at her and watching her in awe. She tries her best not to shy away, letting him search for whatever he needs if it means he’s okay with her. 

“Hi.” She gives him in the silence, hoping she doesn’t sound awkward. Her smile is content under his attention despite not knowing him. With her greeting she takes in his scent, the warm, fresh scent seems to perfectly fit him. 

“Hi.” He responds back, his voice less stable than before. 

Her overthinking in how he feels blocks her instincts. An underlying feeling of want and yearn creeps their way into her muscles. Her own cheetah wants something she can’t quite figure out. Just like in times of pain, her cheetah is responding in a time of want. It’s a new warmth, a new feeling of being heard and understood. 

He’s being vulnerable for her, he’s emotional in front of a stranger when Namjoon said he was usually shy. He’s being sincere- she can try to find a way to do the same. 

Instead of blocking that scary feeling of unknown want, she tries to let it slip out, she tries to show him some part of her he can see as meaningful. To show them both that she’s trying. 

Taehyung

Despite Namjoon telling him that Y/N wasn’t familiar with her cheetah, he can feel it. He can feel a connection of familiarity that he’s yearned so long for. Her pretty ears and tail are just like his. Their patterns and colors so similar. And up close, she’s perfect. She’s nothing he could have imagined. She’s far better than anything he could’ve honestly dreamed up. 

She looks up at him with curiosity that melts him. He doesn’t want to make her uncomfortable but he needed to touch something, feel her in some way and make sure she was really in front of him. 

“Hi.” She says, her voice uncertain but light. Her uncertainty in it all makes his cheetah want to soothe, his heart hurting at whatever she could be going through. 

“Hi.” He responds, no knowing exactly what she needs in the moment. 

He lets Y/N watch him, search him for whatever she may need. Her ears and tail tell him she’s thinking, looking for what to do and how to act around him. He debates cutting in and trying to be vocal about his intentions, but it seems Y/N decides first. 

With Taehyung’s hand just out of reach of her face, Y/N leans towards him. Her cheek meets his fingers still holding her hair. He drops the strand, letting her move as she pleases. Her soft skin rubs against his fingers- he opens his hand to welcome her more. She takes the offer, fully resting her cheek in his palm, her eyes starting to water. 

Taehyung does his best to take it slow, rubbing his thumb into the top of her cheek with slow strokes. Once she’s okay with that motion, she turns her face into his palm, being able to smell him and now her scent mixed with his. 

“Taehyung.” She whispers, sounding like she’s in pain from whatever she’s thinking. 

“Y/N.”

[lady-assnali]

Anarcia x Barbie Movie

I’m back with the collab nobody asked for that I desperately needed. Based on the events of my own Barbie movie premier being cancelled because the power went out, this is just…this is what came out. (I’ve been writing a bit but not too much, I’m remembering to post this for you all instead of just sending it to @sexynetra and letting it float away like I’ve been doing. I’ve been holding out, so sorry!)

——

The sky is just beginning to clear when they pull in to the parking lot of the cinema. There’s a crowd outside the door, and Jax leans in from the back seat of Anetra’s truck to see better.

“Do you think they lost power?”

Marcia shakes her head vigorously, whipping around to glare at her friend.

“Why would you say that? The storm is over, I think there’s just a lot of people coming to see this movie. That’s why it looks like it’s so packed.”

“Yeah, that’s it.” Jax snorts. Anetra shoots her a look from the driver’s seat, unbuckles herself and leads them to the lobby. Their group has dressed up for the occasion, from Luxx mimicking a holiday Barbie to Marcia’s nearly identical shorter, handmade replica of the movie’s famous gingham dress. Anetra had even come in-theme, her Barbie logo shirt and jean shorts a tad brighter than her usual wardrobe.

There’s a soft alarm blaring, clumps of people talking in disappointed murmurs to themselves. The lights are off, the cinema feeling empty without the sound of popcorn popping or tickets printing. It’s all a bit ominous; although nobody wants to admit it, they’re all thinking the same thing. 

This isn’t a good sign.

A man wearing a gigantic, cartoonish pink cowboy hat and chaps stands up on the bar, which has been cleared of its pink plastic cups and commemorative popcorn tubs. He shouts, and an entire lobby full of costumed people look over at him warily. His lips scrunch up in a sort of nervous wincing, and Anetra has never heard an entire room sigh all at once in the way this crowd does. He doesn’t even have to make the announcement before people are gathering their things, phones pressed close to their faces as they attempt to make other plans. 

“So because of the crazy storms today, we clearly lost power. The seven o’clock viewing of the Barbie movie has been cancelled. You can hang around to see if we’ll get power back soon, but only if you’re ticket holders to a later showing. We’re so sorry for the inconvenience.”

Their group is huddled together, ranting over each other about the situation. Sugar and Spice are chatting to the group of girls next to them, Robin and Jax calling out showtimes to one another and grunting when they’re coming to the fateful screen reading sold out. There’s such a turn into chaos and yet Marcia’s leaned up against a pillar with her eyes unblinking, her lips pouted. She hasn’t responded to any of the plan making, has been thumbing through her phone looking at the same screens as everyone else. 

“I think I’m going to call it.” Aura’s the first to say anything other than calling out a showtime, and the group looks up at her curiously. She’s pulling her keys from her belt bag with a non-committal shrug. 

“Oh.” Marcia replies. There’s a shift in the air, barely noticeable to the untrained eye. But of course, Anetra notices. She’s spent the last couple of months doing just that; noticing, observing, trying not to let the fumes from her lovesick heart take over the entirety of her brain space. 

Marcia’s shoulders drop, her fingers fidgeting with the hem of her little gingham dress. Her bubbling energy has faded to a manageable simmer, not quite deflated yet flat enough to be declared standard. She’s not a standard person. They wave goodbye to Aura and they’re down their cheetah Barbie.  Sugar and Spice are next to leave, having clamored for new plans the moment they’d been denied their current ones. They kiss Marcia on the head affectionately and walk off giggling, heads bent over Spice’s phone. Then Jax has plans to help at home, Luxx has a date, and suddenly it’s just the two of them standing in the dissipating crowd in front of the theatre. 

The sun has begun to attempt a breakout, slivers of light caressing the rain-blackened tar of the parking lot. There aren’t many people left, just groups of bright pink sorrow slouched over their smart phones, calculating their next moves. Marcia hasn’t looked up much other than to say her goodbyes, and when she finally does Anetra’s heart breaks for her right there. Her eyes are round and widened and brimming with tears which she immediately tries to shake off.

“This is so stupid.” She moans. She brings the back of her hand to her eyes and wipes them furiously, carefully, not wanting to mess up the makeup she’d painstakingly worked on all afternoon to make herself look even more like the doll than Anetra believes she naturally does. 

She fusses with the slight curl of her corn silk hair, then lets out an involuntary sigh of defeat.

“I was really looking forward to this.”

“I know.”

“I just feel like…what now? Everyone just left. And I get we can see it another day, it’s not the end of the world at all and it’s definitely a privileged thing to be so upset about a movie, but I just…” 

The thought lingers incomplete in the air between them. The power alarm still beeps in the distance, a nagging reminder of the night’s disappointment.

“You can feel sad, y’know. It doesn’t mean you don’t care about other people’s problems. It just means that you’re human.”

“It’s a movie about a plastic doll.” She deadpans, rolling her eyes. Anetra chuckles at the display of silly ridicule; Marcia’s feigned attitude, her crossed arms and her self-scolding. There’s still something simmering underneath her wobbling sort of improv, but it’s a glimpse back into the girl she’s come to adore. 

“It’s something you’ve been looking forward to for weeks.” Anetra’s insistent, a tentative hand on Marcia’s shoulder. “We’ve had these tickets for a while, everyone got dressed up…you’ve been planning things around this for a long time. I’d be upset too.”

“I just wish it would’ve worked out. After the week I’ve had?”

“I know.” She’d been there for it all, the passed notes between classes and the frantic texts at night, drowning in a sea of homework and student council and an audition that had her climbing into Anetra’s very old truck after school crying so hard she couldn’t talk for the first three stoplights. They’d driven that day until Marcia’s curfew, stopping only to get ice cream and fries to eat on the metal benches by the walking trail downtown. She’d FaceTimed Anetra in tears twice while trying to finish her dress (because of course Marcia had to make hers from nothing but bolts of buttery soft gingham instead of buying one. And of course, even at 2am, this endeared Anetra to no end). 

This movie is what had been holding the pretty blonde together, and Mother Nature had decided to throw another wicked little wrench into Marcia’s unmatched positivity. 

Anetra won’t stand for any of it; Marcia’s posture slumped into a slight curve, her lip-shaped purse dangling recklessly from her elbow, her pretty, prized wedges dipped into a puddle made by the storm that had ruined the night.

“Come on,” She gestures across the parking lot, where her beat up truck sits proudly next to a Tesla. “It’s not over until I say it’s over.”

“What?”

“You called her a plastic doll but she’s a lot more than that to lots of people-every theater is playing this movie right now. We just have to find one with some empty seats.” 

“It’s been selling so fast. Do you really think,”

“-Who’s supposed to be the optimist here?” Anetra smirks. The truck chugs a bit when she starts it; familiar, reliable. Marcia leans her head on the passenger window, watches as Anetra puts it in reverse. She lays one hand over the back of her seat, and for a brief moment their eyes meet. Marcia’s thankful when her eyes go back to the road, thankful for the little bit of coverage the dark clouds allow her cheeks now that they match her dress. Then, both of Anetra’s hands go back on the steering wheel and they’re on neutral ground, worrying about the poor employees having to deal with their inflated version of the night’s events.

They pull up to the town’s tiny little shoebox restaurant and Anetra opens her door with the excuse of her parallel parking (although she knows it’s not as smooth as she thinks; typically, there isn’t really a danger of being hit by a car when you’re getting out on the sidewalk.) She asks if Marcia’s hungry and takes her flattened nod as a yes, leads them into the restaurant and to a table in a unfamiliar silence. This is disappointed Marcia, but it’s also hungry Marcia-a little bit of food is bound to make her at least feel human again.

She’s right.

Once they tear into their mozzarella sticks Marcia’s laughing again, taking more than her share of sauce and pretending to fight her about it like they usually do. She’s joking about the sold-out movie, about how this is a tell-tale sign of the universe taking a strike against the gays again just for fun.  Anetra has one hand on her phone, a list of cinemas open. She’s anxious and yet she still finds it hard to concentrate on anything but the girl in front of her.

The way Marcia’s smile stirs her heart, leaves it aching to burst from her chest and shout gleefully from the rooftops…she hasn’t felt anything more sacred than this in her entire life; not when winning a match, or finding people she belongs with, or even during her first time out at a pride event. There is something about the way her body aches, her thoughts feel like they’re always skipping back to the chorus of her favorite song when Marcia leans back in her seat to ask her a question during chemistry. There is something so innately tuned into Marcia within herself that she’s recognized as maybe being love, if not a heftily settled infatuation-a big fat crush, because she has to assign a term that represents the fumbling, jittery kind of longing she feels for her friend.

So she’s locked it away a bit, listening to their friends rave about their latest date or their current flings or whoever they’re looking at on dating apps with the skilled precision of the active listener she always has been. Because she’d rather call herself delusional than speak her feelings into the air. Saying it out loud would make them real. That would mean that other voices could say the same things her brain is rattling off on repeat;

She’s out of your league

She can easily get anybody she wants

You’re a really good friend-you always have been. 

That’s who you are…

A friend.

            She’s a friend who would move mountains for the pretty blonde in front of her, would willingly relinquish the aux chord for her, or skip lunch to help her run lines.She’d even spend an hour on the internet jumping through online hoops to make sure Marcia gets to see this damn movie. Because she didn’t buy the logo t-shirt she’s currently wearing with the intent to make it a staple part of her wardrobe.

            So when they pull up to a different theatre two hours later, she’s bursting with anticipation to make her announcement.

“We’re seeing the movie.”

“What?”

“I was looking the entire time we were at dinner and I found two tickets to the 9 o’clock showing. We’re not waiting until tomorrow; not when you made a dress for this. Not when you’ve been talking about this for months on end. This is important to you. We can go right now.”

Her face lights up, and it’s brilliant. She’s smiling the bright, wide smile Anetra can’t stop thinking about, jumping in her seat and dancing all of her unbridled, happy energy into the universe. She stops herself to hug the redhead, who almost melts into the touch. Then, Marcia steps back. She’s smiling still, but with a hint of apprehension-it doesn’t reach her eyes not completely. 

“I think we have to talk first.” She says. Anetra’s heart sinks into her throat.

“Why?”

“Because I’ve been trying to say something for so long but it feels like my hints aren’t being taken the way that I want them to, and now I just need to tell you directly to your face that I really, really like you. When you do sweet, thoughtful things like this it makes it impossible to stand here and accept it graciously and not grab your face and kiss you. And if that’s not how you feel it’s really okay, it’ll be alright if you give me time. But I honestly can’t take it anymore, you and your stupid truck and the blanket in the back and your cute little Barbie t-shirt, and,”

Anetra moves closer, one hand on Marcia’s shoulder and the other on her cheek. It’s taken a moment to process exactly what’s happening, the sound of Marcia’s voice and the cut of her dress and the excitement of the surprise bringing her back to life a complete distraction to the words that are coming out of her mouth. But she’s staring at the red-haired girl now, lips slightly parted, her breath hitched in her throat. And her skin is so soft under Anetra’s fingers, her eyes are so wide, and then she lets herself decode what’s happening.

I really, really like you.

Something ignites in her, propels her to close the rest of the distance between them. The initiation is quick, Anetra fearful that she’ll chicken out. But once Marcia’s lips are on hers she doesn’t want it to stop. She’s so soft, so beautifully feminine and delicate, and her fingers thread lightly through Anetra’s freshly-dyed hair like they’re trained to do it. And then she smiles into it, sighs, and Anetra’s lost all sense of time or place or direction. She’s just Anetra, the girl with the red hair and the beat-up truck and the sense that if she didn’t have basic human needs she could stay here and kiss Marcia for the rest of her life, and that would be just fine.

“So…” Marcia’s practically singing when they finally break for air, leaning her head on her seat. She’s flushed pink, and she bites her just-kissed lip with a brow raised in curiosity. “This is a good sign, then.”

“I really like you too.” She’s still nervous to send the confession into the air, even after their kiss had shattered her ability to think straight, even with Marcia’s incandescent smile upon finally hearing the words for herself.

“I didn’t want to tell anybody.” The redhead elaborates. “I think, for me, it just…I felt ridiculous. And maybe delusional.”

Marcia laughs, then-actually tilts her head back and giggles. And then she’s reaching for Anetra’s hand, linking their fingers together with that same unmatched fluttering feeling. 

“The only delusional thing about you is that you couldn’t see my very clear motives. I have moves.”

“You have moves.” She deadpans. Marcia leans back incredulously, crosses her arms like a child.

“I tried my hardest, okay?! I’m not really used to reading signals that aren’t just gross men trying to get into my pants.”

“So you’re saying that instead of doing the technological gymnastics of trying to get these tickets all I had to do was grab your ass and call you princess?”

The blonde splutters a bit, rakes a hand through her hair. She makes a quick move for her seatbelt, tugging it over her chest.

“We can go now, I don’t really want to see this movie anyway.”

Anetra stares back at her, mouth opening and then closing abruptly before Marcia lets go, sending the belt flying back into its clip.

“I’m just kidding!” she shuffles herself over the console and takes Anetra’s cheeks in her hands, kissing her hard and pulling away with a satisfied smirk. “I’m just mad that I won’t want to do anything but kiss you for the next hour and 54 minutes.” 

The shuffles herself out of the truck, smoothing out her dress and checking her reflection in the side mirror one last time. Anetra watches in a daze, her lips tingling and her body humming, the world a soft cocktail of disbelief and absolute bliss. She starts when Marcia calls her name, opening the drivers side door with sweet-natured, dramatic impatience.

“Come on! We’re going to be late!”  

She grabs hold of Anetra’s hand, pulls her so their sides brush together as they walk. She keeps a grip on her arm, and it’s still shocking every time she leans over to kiss her cheek. The cinema lobby is covered in pink; balloon arches and streamers and big cardboard cutouts. 

“Can you take our picture?” She hands her phone to the cowgirl with enthusiasm, pulls Anetra eagerly into the life-sized box. Her arms fly around Anetra’s neck, her lips lingering on her cheek for the pose. Anetra’s arms wrap tentatively around Marcia’s waist and she’s met with her body pressed as close as it can be, the blonde squeezing her in a tight embrace. 

And as the stranger calls out an enthusiastic ‘cheese!’, Anetra has never loved this little plastic doll more.

[boysplanetrecaps]

Produce 48 Recaps: Auditions Begin (episode 1)

When we left off in my probably-unnecessary-but-still-necessary Rewatch Recap of Produce 48, the 96 girls had made their entrance into the huge studio, and the judges were just about to reveal themselves. Let's get to it!

The judges come out!

First, it’s Lee Hong Ki, a powerful vocalist, here to teach them to sing. He’s from FT Island, and amazingly, was in the *second* K-drama I ever watched, You’re Beautiful, which was fun at the time, but which I cannot actually recommend. I will say that Hong-ki is the best part of it despite his, let’s say, broad acting choices. 

The character he played on You’re Beautiful was named Jeremy, and I can’t help but think of him as Jeremy. So just understand that I will be calling him Jeremy for the duration of these recaps. Thank you. 

Here he is as Jeremy. He’s ACTING! 

Next, it’s Soyou, from Sistar. She was overshadowed by Hyolyn but is an excellent vocalist in her own right. She’s here to be the other vocal trainer. 

It wouldn’t be an MNET show without this asshole:

I don’t want to learn his name but he’s that choreographer/dance teacher/ sociopath who always makes sure that all of the trainees’ mental health is hanging on by the merest of threads. I’m going to call him Psychopath. Seriously, fuck this guy. I’ll note that he comes across as sweet and loveable in this episode but I can’t forgive him for the shit he pulled during Boys Planet. Nope. Never. He has earned my undying hatred. To be clear, I do not support sending him hate messages or harming him in any way. I will just quietly, and personally, hate him on my Tumblr which gets maybe 5 or 10 readers. 

And then there’s her:

Bae Yoon Jung! She’s also pretty intense, and I know she’s mean to them on the first day, but she has the capacity for normal human empathy, as I recall. I’m going to call her Dance Bae. That doesn’t mean that I co-sign on her casual cruelty. It’s just that it’s literally her name and it’s easy to remember.

I don’t remember this lady:

Her name is May J Lee and she’s also a dance trainer. She’s cute. Here’s to hoping she understands that the trainees are human beings!

It’s Cheetah, here to be the rap trainer! God, I love her song Villain so damn much. The video is great, too, but trigger warning for violence. “I could fix you, but I won’t.” HECK yeah. 

And special one-day trainer, Kahi, who was the dance trainer for PD101 Season 2.

Kahi was in After School, then “graduated” in June 2012, right around the same time that Gaeun joined. They undoubtedly have spent time together, so it’ll be interesting to see if they interact much in this episode. (Maybe Gaeun being on the show this season meant that Kahi couldn’t really be the judge for the whole time?) 

The judges glare holes into the trainees while explaining that they’ll be sorting them into groups -- A, B, C, D, and F -- based on skill level, with the ultimate goal of bringing them all up to A-grade. And now it’s time for these would-be performers to perform, and of course, they don’t want to actually perform. 

41:50 The Auditions Begin

The girls are nervous. Yoon Hae Sol (윤해솔), 20, former member of Aqua, lets out a gusty breath. And this girl is nervous too, whoever the heck she is. 

Kim Chaewon, it says on her nametag. Well, she’s cute. Meanwhile I’m fascinated by the shoe behind her. WHOSE SHOE IS THAT? WHAT IS THIS SHOE? 

The AKB-48 girls are even more nervous. Oda Erina, 21, in a stylish bob and a blue, yellow and white jacket is intimidated by the Korean girls. Mogi Shinobu, also 21, a living meme with blue furry sleeves, is so nervous she looks like she might cry. We love you, Shinobu.

Time for the first audition! Or at least, the audition that the editors have moved to the beginning of the episode, even though it was probably not the first one to happen in real time! Because they wanted to front-load excellent Korean auditions to emphasize the skill gap between the Korean and Japanese contestants! 

Audition 1: Yuehua

Kim Si Hyeon (김시현), age 18, in the long sleeved shirt, now a member of Everglow. 

Choi Ye Na (최예나), age 18, with her hair in a ponytail.

Wang Yi Ren (왕이런), age 17, pink shirt with black edges. She’s Chinese and is now a member of Everglow. 

We see a clip of the Yuehua girls back stage, where Choi Yena accidentally draws on the camera with red marker and then apologizes profusely. AND SHE NEVER WORKED IN KPOP AGAIN!!

Then we get a flashback of Gross Guy personally watching the auditions of all 96 girls prior to the filming of the first episode. He’s so gross. Ugh. He makes JYP seem like a sweet, safe guy. Anyway we find out that after Choi Yena performed her song, she asked to do an extra performance. She begins speaking in what sounds like decent Japanese and does a little miming routine with sound effects. She’s pretty charming, actually. 

Cut back to audition day. The Woolim girls are backstage waiting for their turn when they recognize Sihyeon from her time on PD101, Season 1. Sihyeon interviews that she’s embarrassed when she looks back at herself on PD101 and that she’s gotten a lot better since then. In fact, as we find out later, she got an F in that season. 

Link to full audition on Youtube

Song: Move by Little Mix 

My Thoughts: They do great, in my opinion. Siyheon has a great clear, strong voice and her English pronunciation is mostly pretty good. Yena and Yiren don’t sing as clearly, but their dancing is great and they have a lot of presence. God, Yiren sparkles so much! I feel like she’s getting bad advice from whoever is around her now, because in more recent Everglow performances she always seems so muted. Seeing this, I can see she’s capable of great stage presence -- I hope she finds her way back to this. I dig Everglow and just want them to keep living up to their potential. I would have given Siyheon an A and the other two Bs, I think, though it’s hard without seeing the other trainees to compare. 

The MNET Edit: The editing emphasizes Yiren and Yena more, but overall the editing is kind to all three. We see some of the Japanese girls saying “why is everyone so good”, almost as if this ISN’T the first team to go up. (Also, we see that other girls are already wearing their grade name tag, though they’re blurred out.) The judges give Yena an A and the other two get Bs, which I guess reminds us that as long as you *kind* of sing while you also dance a lot and are very charming, then…. you get an A. Anyway, A and B are fine.

The editors really want us to know that the Japanese girls are very worried about their auditions. It is true that they generally don’t have the training the Korean girls have -- I’m not commenting on their inherent worthiness, just their preparation. But the show really, really focuses on that. I’m sure at least some of the Korean girls were nervous too, but we don’t seem to be seeing clips of that on the show.

Auditions 2 and 3: Woolim and WM Entertainment

Next, the MNET editors decided to further confuse anyone who has previously confused WM Entertainment with Woolim Entertainment by overlapping these two agency’s auditions, same as they did when the girls entered the auditorium. Thanks, MNET editors! Thmeditors. We learn that Woolim manages Lovelyz, while WM manages Oh My Girl (their rivals), though now in 2023 I think we all know that Oh My Girl kind of won that particular fight. Apparently the girls view each other as rivals? ...? But do they, though?

Woolim is up first. They take a moment finding their places, and we learn that Eunbi is their leader/mom who brought them medicine and Japanese phrase books. What a good unnie! 

Left to right: Suyun, Eunbi, Sohee, Chaewon

Kim Chae Won (김채원), age 17   now: Le Sserafim   wearing a short sleeved white top, tie Kim So Hee (김소희), age 14  now: Rocket Punch  wearing pigtails Kim Su Yun (김수윤), age 17  now: Rocket Punch   wearing short sleeved black top Kwon Eun Bi (권은비), age 22   now: soloist wearing a tie, cardigan

Link to full audition on Youtube

Song: Ah-Choo by Lovelyz / Bad by Infinite

My thoughts: It’s always awkward when you have one member who’s 14 (and looks 12) and one who is 22 (and looks 25) -- they’re always going to sort of make one another look bad. But overall, this is actually a really good audition.  I watched it multiple times and didn’t pick up on any mistakes or bad moments. All four of them had kpop acceptable vocals that didn’t stand out as fantastic or terrible. Chaewon’s a tiny bit shaky on the high notes, but they are really high notes. Little Sohee’s dancing was less powerful than the others’, even during Ah-Choo, but that’s fine considering she’s so much younger. I did think they looked a tiny bit silly doing that super powerful choreography to Bad while still dressed to perform Ah-Choo, but the goal was to display different skills and they did that. Knowing how deep the hole can go, I think I would have given all these girls As or Bs, maybe a C for little Sohee. It’s hard to know for sure since it’s not always clear what is live singing and what’s the backup track. 

The MNET Edit is fair. The rest of the trainees appreciate their performance. 

Backstage, Lee Chaeyeon says Eun Bi caught her eye the most. I actually noticed Suyun a lot too, but her time will come later. 

The judges compliment their synchronization and ask to see them perform something else. They launch into a second performance, which seems equally well rehearsed. I don’t recognize the song off hand (if any of you do, feel free to let me know!) but they do a great job with it. Dance Bae says, in an almost irritated way, “why haven’t you debuted yet? You seem ready to me.” I think she’s speaking mainly to Eunbi, who smiles wide at the compliment. We won’t hear their grades until later, but I’ll tell you their grades now, because I just love subverting the MNET editing monkeys. Kwon Eun Bi gets an A, ChaeWon gets a B, and the other two get Cs. Maybe I’m just biased toward Suyun from knowing her now? It’s hard to say. But I still think a B would have been fairer for her. 

Next, WM Entertainment. The girls come out on stage and the judges immediately tell Chaeyeon she looks familiar. She acknowledges having been on Sixteen with Somi (2015) and on Kpop Star 3 (2013). She says that this time she really wants to show us what she’s got. The other girls are excited to see her dance.

Trainees: 

Lee Seung Hyeon (이승현), 17 now known as Riina in H1-Key, in the black shirt Lee Chae Yeon (이채연), 18, currently a soloist, in the pink shirt  Cho Yeong In (조영인), 16, in the white Link to full audition on Youtube

Song: Shower, originally by Becky G

My thoughts: All three of them do well dancing wise. It’s not surprise that Chaeyeon would dance well, and she certainly outshines the other two, but Seunghyeon holds her own and Yeongin doesn’t look bad. I think vocally, Seunghyeon does the best job, but Chae’s belted note sounded good. Yeongin’s vocals were noticeably shaky compared to the other two’s. I think I would have given Yeongin a B or C, Chae would get an A, and Seunghyeon an A or a B depending on what the dance teachers said. Overall though it was a good audition. 

The MNET edit is again pretty kind. Everyone focuses on Chaeyeon, of course. When they’re done, the judges ask her to freestyle to Instruction by Jax Jones featuring Demi Lovato, and she dances in a style that’s really appropriate to the song. Everyone’s impressed. The judges announces the grades. Chaeyeon gets an A, which seems completely correct. The other two get Bs, which is ok. 

The editing is setting Kwon Eun Bi and Lee Chaeyeon up to be rivals. Surely, they must hate each other, if they’re both good dancers and their agencies are on the same street in Seoul! 

In the audience, Kojima Mako says to her friend, “It’s so amazing that I’m not even nervous anymore. Our friend Juri says to Shinozaki Ayana,  “I feel like I’m just watching a TV show.” Me too, Juri! We stan a relatable queen. But yeah, it’s more of the whole “the terrible, silly, weak Japanese girls are in awe of the mighty, powerful Korean girls” narrative that MNET’s editing monkeys keep pushing. 

Auditions 4 and 5: The Very Pretty Girls

Next, we have the introduction of two Very Pretty Girls:  Kim Min Ju (김민주), age 17 from Urban Works, in her colorful striped shirt, and Kang Hye Won (강혜원), age 18,  from 8D Creative in a blue mini dress with a big pink and white collar. The other trainees think that these two girls look like actresses, so maybe it’s no surprise that now (2023), they are in fact both actresses. I renew my complaint from earlier that I don’t understand why certain girls are considered prettier than the others, and remind you that this isn’t an insult to them, as they are certainly very pretty, but more of a compliment to the others, who I view as equally pretty. Isn’t Kwon Eun Bi just as pretty? Is she not? I don’t understand. I will be saying that a lot in these recaps so I guess I’ll just call it my Particularly Pretty Problem (PPP) and leave it at that. 

Agency:  8D Creative

Trainee: Kang Hye Won

In a pre-show interview, they ask her such questions as “were you always pretty?” and she says that yes, she is. This is the part of kpop I like least. She says that the position she wants is 청정 or purity. I guess I understand that -- there is usually a sexy member of a given group (see: Kai in Exo, Hyunjin in SKZ, Joy in Red Velvet, Soojin in G-Idle) and there’s usually a funny or approachable one (see: Chanyeol, Changbin, Wendy, Yuqi), so I could see there being a sort of pure or extra cute one. It’s not as crazy as it might sound.

Link to full audition on Youtube

Song: You and I by IU (2011)

My Thoughts: Well, that was pretty terrible. There’s room at the bottom, but she barely dances and she only kind of sings. The singing is breathy, faint, and pitchy. The dancing is half hearted and my grandma could have done this choreo even after her stroke. She has negative stage presence. Also, to me, she always looks confused. There’s something about either her facial features or her expression that make her look bewildered. I’m sorry if she’s your favorite. She may have charming personality traits that I don’t know about yet. She’s just not particularly skilled in either singing or dancing. She should get an F. 

If you can’t handle me saying that about this audition, then I really suggest that you just not read any more of my recaps because I’m going to say stuff like this about bad auditions. I don’t care if she’s “pretty”. I don’t care if she has gone on to be successful. Other people -- Eun Bi, for example -- are pretty and they can also sing and dance. I believe that if you make your living as a singer and/or dancer, you should be able to sing and/or dance. 

The MNET edit:They don’t do her any favors, zooming in on her non-dancing and focusing on the judges’ reactions to her shaky high notes and nearly stationary body. When she’s done, she stands there with this look on her face, which is the way I always remember this girl looking and how I recognize her in her more recent endeavors. 

Dance Bae says, “Purity is all you have. F.”  Done and done. 

Agency:  Urban Works

Trainee:  Kim Min Ju 

Link to full audition on Youtube

Song:  No Matter What by BoA

My Thoughts: This was so much better than Hyewon’s audition. For one thing, she actually danced. She showed a variety of different actual dance steps, including legs, body, arms, head, face. She danced! The singing was extremely faint and I think a lot of it was the backing track, but this was leagues ahead. Without being able to clearly discern her singing, it’s so hard to tell, but I think I’d put her in C territory. 

The MNET edit:They show the judges adjusting their ear buds and looking bored or put off, and focused on a part where she dropped into a squat and looked a little awkward. But that was just the dance move! This was originally done as a partner dance and it was adapted for a single person (I think? Unless it was just made new, whole cloth?), so maybe they should have just cut that squatting part out -- it’s not her fault. They also show a girl in the audience looking bored (maybe cut in from a totally different performance). It’s not kind. Minju, you deserved better. 

They give her a D. I don’t know. Seems like they’re punishing her for being pretty. But maybe the singing was worse than I thought. 

I’m not going to comment on it every single time it happens, but just assume that after every performance there will be a reaction/voice over from a Japanese girl saying, “If that didn’t get an A, I’m going to get an F for sure” or “the Korean girls are so much better than me” or something like that. It’s constant. 

Auditions 6 and 7: The Punching Bags

These next two auditions are shown mainly to mock these trainees. Neither of them do a stellar job, but both deserved a little better than what they got.

We see a scrap of  the audition from Shin Su Hyun (신수현), a 22 year old represented by FAVE Entertainment. 

She’s performing Playing with Fire by Blackpink. I watched her full audition, but we only see a little bit of it in the actual show. She started off with rapping, which the edit doesn’t show; I think she’s going for a rap position, not a singing one, which helps excuse why her singing was weak. The dancing wasn’t great -- she was a beat or two ahead of the choreography (something I only noticed because I know the song so well). But I thought she at least had charisma. I think a C wouldn’t have been out of line, but I don’t know the rubric. The edit replays a part where she sort of does a chicken-dance wiggle during the chorus when that’s not quite what the choreo is like, but I had to go back and rewatch the original to see that the original choreo is different. The PWF choreography is kind of weird -- I’ve always thought so. What’s with the dogpaddling in the chorus, or that weird “drawing a line with your finger” at the end? Anyway, my point is that the edit makes her look even worse than she actually did. 

They intersperse her audition with the audition of Cube’s Han Cho Won -- she’s only 15 here, but you may now know her as one of the most popular members of Cube’s youngest girl group,  Lightsum. The edit here make her look like a complete idiot. If you watch her full audition, you’ll see that, yeah, it’s not great, but there are some extenuating circumstances.

The biggest problem is that the song was a poor choice. Red by Hyuna is a HYUNA song. Like a third of the lyrics are “red is Hyuna”, and there’s a whole 10 second segment where Hyuna just sits on the ground and flirts with the camera. It’s all about being sexy and having a nice body, specifically a nice butt, and the choreography is very core/waist/butt centered. It seems that Chowon just can’t quite move her body that way, and at 15, maybe just isn’t up the task of embodying the universal sex symbol that is a full-grown Hyuna. I don’t know who is! 

Anyway, I think Chowon should have done Pepe by CLC, assuming she was going to stick to a song by a Cube artist. The song has a fun retro feel and it would have been more appropriate for a 15 year old who doesn’t know how to twerk yet. Or maybe Pretty Pretty by Pentagon -- I bet Hui would have helped her remix something for the show if the agency had asked him to -- he's a good sunbae -- and the song has quirky, funny choreography that might have made the judges smile. Sigh. 

Poor Chowon -- it wasn’t a great audition, but I blame whoever either told her to do this song, or allowed her to do it if it was her choice. The whole point of having management is to get smart people to help you make decisions like this, especially when you’re fifteen. But that’s asking too much from Cube, I guess. Kahi even says that she had been at Cube briefly and that they don’t teach you anything, which checks out. Cube is just the WORST. 

Both Chowon and Suhyun get a lecture on needing to learn (or review) the basics and both get a D. It’s not totally unfair -- it’s just that I know that there is so much worse to come. 

More discussion about how the Japanese girls aren’t really given any training and just learn to perform by watching their sempai/sunbae/seniors. Dance Bae says it’ll be fun to watch them grow. 

And now it’s time to see the AKB48 girls perform. We see that they’ve changed out of their entrance outfits -- those plaid monstrosities -- into different outfits, most of which are also monstrosities. 

Audition 8: Get You!

See, it's a play on words because the song is called Get You and also MNET wants to get them

Agency:  AKB48

Trainees: Oda Erina 21, and Nakano Ikumi 17

Erina, left, with the shorter hair and Ikumi, right, in the blue shorts.

The judges comment that Erina is known for her singing and Ikumi for her dancing. 

Link to full audition on Youtube

Song: Get You! by Morning Musume (a different J-pop idol group)

My Thoughts: Well, this wasn’t terrible. They do sort of take turns either singing or dancing, and rarely do both at the same time. The choreography they do is mostly extremely simple and not super well synced, but they do throw themselves into it. They have a lot of energy, which I know is important in J-pop. If you asked me, “which of these is the singer and which of these is the dancer?” I wouldn’t be able to tell you. But neither of them assaulted my ears. Judged by J-pop standards, this was great. By K-pop standards, not great. I’d give them a C and see how they do learning the choreography for the signal song.

The MNET edit: The edit makes it seem much worse than it really was. Honestly, it wasn’t that horrific. They were more fun to watch than Kang Hye Won for sure. 

The judges ask Ikumi to freestyle dance, which she agrees to with an English “Yes!” They play “Look What You Made Me Do” by Taylor Swift. She tries to do a sort of interpretive dance thing, and I appreciate that she at least tried. She has lovely body lines and seems to understand rhythm and tone, anyway. They keep showing her trip a little on her platform sneakers. God, those things look hard to dance in. After a bit she seems to give up, pulling her hair over her face, and the judges call it. Her AKB-mates are impressed, but the judges aren’t. 

Dance Bae compliments her on her energy, but says she seems to not know what to do with it. “I’m not sure that the fact that you danced to the beat warrants you having won first place in a large competition,” Dance Bae scolds. “If you keep continuing like this, you won’t ever be able to perform on stage.” 

Ikumi gets a D, and Erina gets a C. We don’t actually see that, though -- I had to look it up. It’s not part of the narrative to see that neither of them got an F, I guess.

Next, we have a mini montage of various girls, especially Japanese girls, saying that Dance Bae is the scariest judge, known for her terrifying line: “You really want to be a singer?!?” Which I think is a fair question! So many people get into the Idol Biz because they want to be actors or tv hosts -- I wish there was a pipeline to celebrity for people like that that didn’t involve them humiliating themselves on a show like this. 

Auditions 9 and 10: What’s Your Name and Knock Knock

We cut to another audition, in progress, with a caption that seems to imply that this is just a preview (“Coming up…”) but no, this is the actual audition, as much of it as we’re going to see.

AKB: What’s Your Name?

Here’s the original song being performed by 4Minute. Things were different in 2013 -- this was before Catch Me If You Can by SNSD came out so nobody yet knew that women were actually able to do intense choreo, I guess. But even for 2013 standards, What’s Your Name has easy choreo. I mean, it barely has choreo aside from just sort of bending over and displaying your butt. Also, the lyrics are three quarters “what’s your name/ ireumi mwoyeyo?” So it’s a really good choice for a rookie group!

Here’s their audition.

Left to right: Manami, Ayana, Chiyori, Miho, Shinobu

Ichikawa Manami, 18, in the blue top, red skirt Shinozaki Ayana, 22, in the light blue skirt Nakanishi Chiyori, 23, in the pink fluffy skirt Miyazaki Miho, 24, in the sparkly top, navy skirt Mogi Shinobu, 21, in the turquoise skirt, fluffy blue sleeves

We just met Shinobu earlier, when she was talking about how scary Dance Bae is, got her name wrong, an apologized profusely. She's our living meme and we love her. We also almost met Miho; she was the one who knows how to write in Korean.

My thoughts: Oh no. There’s something so incongruous about someone in a sparkly cupcake skirt and Mary Jane shoes doing a pelvic thrust. These outfits look like… Ok maybe this is a deep cut but do you know those fashion plate toys? I had my cousin’s old one and I was obsessed. It was like stencils, but you had a head and a top part and a bottom part, and you’d choose one of each and then stencil over it to make a picture you could color.

That’s what these outfits look like. Like someone went nuts with a fashion plate and glitter glue and then just brought it to life.

Left to right: Shinobu, Chiyori, Ayana, Manami, Miho

It’s so hard to pay attention to their performance in those outfits. And the shoes! Those shoes I noticed behind Chaewon earlier are Shonbu's! And I’m obsessed with Ayana’s red-shoe-and-patterned-socks combo.

Also Miho’s and Shinobu’s… furry… peplums? And the quilted skirts? And how none of the tops seem to go with any of the bottoms, even though they appear to be dresses? Question Mark? It’s so bizarre to me. What. Is. Happening. Each dress is awful alone, they’re worse together, they're even worse with the shoes, and they’re the worst in the context of this particular song, which is meant to be sort of swaggy hiphop. 

When I try to focus on the actual singing and dancing, there isn’t much there to judge. The song itself is kind of a nothing-burger tune wise and there’s hardly any choreo to speak of. They have energy, I’ll give them that. No one strikes an obviously horrendously bad note or falls over. They manage to do what they’re doing in some reasonably high heeled shoes, and they’re singing a song that is at least mostly in Korean. It’s clearly not up to the standard expected from debuted Kpop artists. I feel like I’d have to see them in normal clothes to be able to really judge. None of them stands out as better or worse than the rest. I give them an E for effort and I’d probably give them all Ds. They were still better than Hyewon. 

Dance Bae gives Chiyori and Miho both Ds, and the rest get Fs. (We hear Dance Bae saying that they all get Ds, but the on screen caption says otherwise, and my internet sleuthing agrees with the on screen caption.) I think, watching it back, that Chiyori and Miho got Ds for just taking on a big role in the performance and trying that little bit harder. Miho seemed to be the main vocal, sort of, and Chiyori was the center. 

Ok, let’s take a peek at some of the youngest -48 girls, singing the Japanese version of Knock Knock by Twice.

Asai Yuka is 14 and from SKE48.  We met her earlier when she walked in with Jurina. Umeyama Cocona is also 14 and is from NMB48. 

Left to right: Cocona with the big bow, Yuka with the blue ribbon

My thoughts: Aww, they just little babies! They probably practiced by themselves in a hallway or something for a few hours with no help. There’s not much to judge here. They’re obviously underskilled for this show and would have to be given Fs but it’s not their fault. I’m not going to make fun of a couple of 14 year olds who signed up for an adventure, not knowing how hard it would be. I sense tears in the future. 

I wrote that, and then watched Dance Bae give them both Fs and say, at a pre-show meeting, “I think these girls will cry a lot while they’re here.” Perhaps she’d be pleased to know that poor Cocona withdrew from the show before the second evaluation even took place! There's also some potential back story here. Per reddit:

From what I’ve heard (and I’m not sure how credible it is), Jurina and Yuuka planned to perform together for the first evaluation, but the producers wanted Jurina to do a solo, so Cocona got pulled from the NMB group [that performs Funny People] and her and Yuuka did this. That may explain why they did…particularly bad, to the point where it looks like they don’t even know the song.

That does sound like something MNET would do, and it also would explain how these two girls ended up in a performance together despite being in different groups (SKE48 and NMB48), giving it the ring of truth. So I'm going to be even more sparing of my criticism of the girls. They do come across as unprepared, but I think that's just because.... well, they were, through no fault of their own.

In any case, Cocona is one of the Japanese trainees who withdraws early in the process. It's probably for the reasons we'd imagine -- flying back and forth from Japan is taxing, and she's young enough to need to go to school still. She probably just wanted to go through so much stress just to get insulted and yelled at. Can't blame her!

Since we’re not going to see much of Cocona again, let’s find out what happened to her after she withdrew from the show. She went back to NMB48 and continued performing with them for a few more years, graduating at a special concert on March 26, 2022. She did some modeling for magazines in 2020, so she might still be pursuing that. Here’s her instagram -- she has 95,000 followers and seems to post influencer-esque content with lots of hashtags.

 Ganbatte, Cocona! Happy trails and much success to you!

10 auditions down, about 30 to go! Thanks for reading so far -- feel free to do all the things: like, reblog, comment, share, blah blah blah. Tune in next time when we continue the auditions, and stay warm, my friends!

[silent-silver-slip]

a writing prompt for you if you don't mind

I had a random thought, why don't we see more stories of dragons and other animals being friends. Like dragons and dogs, for instance. Or cats. Does this spark any brain juices by any chance?

i would go off anon but i don't want you to know my tumblr lol

Okay okay so—my first thought was that I absolutely need this in my life. Why DON’T we see it more often? It’d be so cool! My second thought was I’ve done something vaguely similar before with like a wolf and a dragon and a human, that never really went anywhere but anyway, I got distracted.

The other thought I had was like—I’m imagining like y’know how cheetahs have dogs as support animals? I’m imagining that or- or- or maybe how horses have like travel companions or whatever?

Have you seen those photos of cats and horses? Imagine a dragon and a cat!

Anyway, I was planning on doing like two snippets here - one with dragon and a dog, and another with a dragon and a cat. The latter sparked an idea though that took me like no time and yet I did the beginning and the end with a week in the middle. I wrote most of it whilst travelling to work or uni though, so my bad if there are any typos.

Below the line break, for your reading pleasure, is the first introduction of Char(lotte) and Henrietta. Enjoy!

Char (short for Charlotte) had always been a strange kitten in Henrietta’s opinion. She’d been born (‘hatched!’ Char always likes to protest, but Char didn’t know much back then, so Henrietta ignored her protests) hard and bumpy, very unlike the rest of Henrietta’s litter.

Not that Char had even been part of the litter, but the nice hay den Henrietta had made for herself. Still, Char’s mother hadn’t been around and no one should leave a kitten unintended. So, really, it made sense that Henrietta looked after Char too—even if Char hadn’t needed nursing like the others. She’d always wanted to be surrounded by warm bodies however.

Most of Henrietta’s litter have wandered off now to their own barns. Henrietta doesn’t mind not seeing them; cats are solitary creatures.

Char, on the other hand, has never been a solitary creature—which is another reason why she is a very strange cat.

(Char would likely interject that she’s a dragon, not a cat, but in Henrietta’s wise opinion, Char is still a kitten who doesn’t know much about the world.)

Unlike most farm cats, Char hasn’t picked her own barn either, like Henrietta did all those years ago. Rather, Char travels. And, well, it’s not like Henrietta could leave Char alone. Char tends to be somewhat skittish.

A nervous disposition, Henrietta’s ma would have said. Still, as long as Henrietta is around, Char is somewhat calmer and a lot less lonely. The humans seem to appreciate it too, considering how they always make sure Henrietta is with them when they go on a trip.

Like the one they’re currently on, actually.

Flicking her tail, Henrietta continues down the pristine hallway that seems to think white is the best barn colour. It’s a foolish idea by Henrietta’s thinking, because barns never stay clean. Barns are not at all kind a cat, after all.

“Oh look, breakfast,�� someone says.

Turning in the direction of the voice, Henrietta stares down the creature in the dark stall. It presses closer to the entrance, revealing a sleek black about. It’s eyes are a menacing red that seem to glow in the dark.

“Here kitty, kitty, kitty,” the dragon croons.

Henrietta blinks, and sits down in front of the stall. She begins to clean her face.

The dragon snarls, teeth glinting white as it curls it lips. “You stupid creature. Come over here, I could do with a snack.”

Henrietta continues with her work, not paying the slightest bit of attention to the dragon, which has begun to growl. Really, it’s quite a bit of work. No one ever catches prey by being loud.

“Curse you!” the dragon snaps, and Henrietta easily leaps out of the way of a burst of fire, unruffled.

Taking a second to glare balefully up at the dragon, Henrietta dismisses it with a flick of her tail and begins to head back to Char.

She’s got a good idea of the competition now.

“Oh, are you alright?” Char asks, face twitching as she curves her neck over the stable door to look at Henrietta. “I heard the sounds of a fight. You’re not harmed, right?”

“I’m fine kitten,” Henrietta replies. She leaps up onto the stall door and balances with ease. Char moves out of the way but doesn’t go far, allowing Henrietta to rub herself against her snout in greeting.

Char seems somewhat appeased by this. “If you’re sure,” she says. Her eyes glance around the stall, gaze lingering in the shadows even though there’s nothing there. “You know it’s dangerous doing that. Some day someone’s going to throw fire at you!”

“We have nine lives, kitten; I’ve still got some to use. I’ll be fine.”

If anything, this disturbs Char even more. “That’s really only a myth you know, no one actually has more than one life. Not even cats like you.”

“Cats like us,” Henrietta corrects. She doesn’t bother reminding Char that cats do have nine lives. Char will simply have to discover it for herself.

“Anyway,” Henrietta continues, leaping from the stable door to Char’s back as she does so, “the competition isn’t too fierce. There’s a black one you’ll need to look out for; more likely to cause a fight than anything else. If you stay clear of the pack from the beginning of the race, I imagine you’ll be fine.”

Char shakes her body, which Henrietta finds easy to balance after all these years. “That’s okay then,” Char says, and she sounds sleepy now; tension and nerves disappearing. “Thanks for checking ma.”

With a smile of her own, Henrietta curls up in the hollow of Char’s neck. “Any time kitten,” she murmurs sleepily, “any time.”

[ilikelookingatthings]

Comment about Diana and Steve Trevor from Superhero girls

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l5k-Ir4tNXM

The part where Steve accidentally flexed both arms and Diana went DOWN XD

The funniest thing here is Steve in the golden age was often mentioned as being golden haired and very attractive that he gained her love for him being her finding out he is a brave badass pilot who fights against Nazis while also being really attractive who she nurses back to health and represented her getting to mans world.

and especially in the silver age lots or people couldn't figure out why Steve Trevor was worthy of her love when he seemed so normal.

and he was often tricked by her secret identity and often got in danger. So the joke here is Steve is a over all good guy but very average where everyone else doesn't get what she sees in him XD

 AND it starts off a little bit shallow because he is the very first attractive man she ever met XD which makes it funnier because golden age Diana often brought up his looks XD

and this Steve is average, but he seems like a good honest guy and as long as YOU find your person attractive and funny then does it really matter if other people don't find your crush attractive does it?

YOU find them special and just because everyone else doesn't see it it doesn’t mean they aren't special. XD

and Steve seems very secure in himself here. he doesn't seem insecure around Diana or other more powerful interest superheroes. He just wants to help out and do his thing.

plus its kind of a fun twist to see Diana are girly and twisting her hair and giggling over Steve when in most incarnations she sees fairly composed. but crushes no matter how cool you are or strong can weaken your knees and make you nervous or give you butterflies. its kind of sweet to see Diana all giggly in love for once XD

They could stand to make him funnier because he IS pretty cool in the golden age and in 52 and Rebirth(you know...in the runs where there are more solid writers...though I am behind on rebirth Steve and I'm worried). but his sort of lame jokes are funny in an average way XD

 Steve is good support, and he is going to the military academy so lets hope that can make him cooler XD

he's got Dianas love and respect and he is somehow he leader of the boys so they must see something cool in him as well....but he's gonna need to get the girls approval once he falls for Diana as well XD

I wonder if cheetah would go after him just to spite and get a rise out of diana…

[regina-del-cielo]

“The Old Guard” Daemon AU: Joe and the African cheetah

After Nicky, you get Joe. Hope you’re ready for another Excessively Long Bulletpoint, aka “reasons why I think Joe’s daemon should be a cheetah”

the Head Bonk of Love means that some Cat Behaviour is present in the Couple, and I think Joe has. a Cat Vibe – but since he’s also a warrior, it’s a Large Cat

Joe is stupidly pretty; cheetahs are stupidly, stupidly pretty, I mean -

like, look at those anime eyes, with that eyeliner on top of the game 

long legs and large chest – yeah, that’s Joe

cheetahs hunt by looking for their prey in open areas (sniper’s spotter anyone?), and using their high running speed to kill it preferably under a minute’s time. They’re famous for being able to make dramatic decelerations in three strides and to follow sharp changes of direction and pace without breaking their own step. Joe’s fighting style is all about surprise attacks (São Paulo ‘34), speed and giving maximum damage in the smallest time possible (yes it’s because he uses Big Guns Once and then throws them away)

(also, he sprinty – the way he runs to cover Nicky on the killfloor? Joe could run faster than Usain Bolt if Nicky was waiting on the end line, and so does his daemon)

although they don’t form prides like lions, cheetahs are still fairly gregarious for a large feline. The males, in particular, after leaving their mothers form coalitions, between brothers but also welcoming strangers, who hunt, live and protect a territory together, being affectionate and caring for each other. May I repeat myself? 🎶 ~ Found Family Vibes Babe ~ 🎶

cheetahs are very ‘talkative’, with a vast array of vocalisations, including purring and chirping (also their meowing is stupidly adorable go listen to it). They also love to cuddle, and we all know how much Joe loves hugging people and clinging to Nicky in his sleep, right?

listen, we all know the story of baby cheetahs in zoos having therapy dog companions. Now, Nicky’s daemon isn’t really a dog, but if Nicky is Joe’s “moon when he’s lost in darkness and warmth when he shivers in cold”, why shouldn’t their daemons reflect that? (cue Long Sessions of wolf and cheetah grooming each other)

(this is more of a Vibe, but the way Joe goes Anxious kinda fits the nervous energy of cheetahs - and I'm totally crediting @ellynneversweet for thinking about the connection between "hyper-specialized and incredibly fast animal" and "Anxiety™️" first)

cheetahs today have a very restricted habitat range, but historically they were spread through all of Africa and a good portion of Asia (although Asian cheetahs are actually a different subspecies), so it’s perfectly plausible that Yusuf could have seen them without having to travel to the other side of the continent

cheetahs have also been tamed for a very long time, maybe since the Sumerians. Their use as hunting animals is almost uninterrupted in nobility and royal families from Ancient Egypt up to the European colonization era in India

now, I have no way of knowing if the Zirid or Fatimid caliphs had pet hunting cheetahs in their courts in the 11th century, but there may be a non-zero chance that they may have been a not-too-unusual sight in Fustat or Alexandria – and I think Yusuf’s family would have had significant business contacts in the area, possibly from before the Zirids became an independent kingdom from the Fatimids

in Ancient Egypt cheetahs were believed to represent the goddess Mafdet, (later on replaced by Bastet): she was the deification of legal justice, protected the sun god Ra from venomous snakes, and was associated also with the protection of the pharaoh’s chambers. Cheetahs were also said to be the ones to take away the spirits of pharaohs when they died

Islam doesn’t seem to have any specific symbology linked to cheetahs, although big cats in general could represent ferocity – domestic cats, on the other hand, are taken in very high consideration (which, relatable), so I think that people’s reactions to Yusuf’s daemon pre-immortality would have been neutral, if not generally positive

given the status symbol that cheetahs were in that time and age, it might have even proved to be an advantage for Yusuf in his family’s business dealings – people may have assumed that he had Connections in higher places (i.e. the court) than any other merchant, and Rich People may have favoured his products because of it

add his Sparkly Anime Eyes and his Natural Charms, pre-immortality Yusuf could have charmed the pants off of anyone, that’s what I’m saying

while looking up potential names I noticed that Arabic names tend to have meanings of qualities, so in this AU the norm of daemon naming would be based on which quality parents would want their child to have the most, and then I remembered that families can have the weirdest naming traditions (like – people that give their kids names starting by the same letter)

the Al Kaysani men we know of (thanks to Yusuf’s patronymics) are all named after prophets (and Big Ones at that), and what if it was a pattern? What if they had a family tradition, that when a son is named after an Important Person, their daemon would be named after a woman that was relevant for said Prophet Figure?

(so his grandfather Muhammad’s daemon would have been Khadija, like the first wife of the Prophet; and his father Ibrahim’s would be Sara)

now, this poses a small problem: Yusuf the Prophet is the only one whose story is told in chronological order in its own surah in the Quran, and while he’s one of the most revered prophets in Islam, the only woman of note in his story is the wife of Potiphar (called Aziz in the surah), the one that tried to seduce him and he kept refusing. In Islamic tradition she’s named Zuleikha, and let’s say that her depiction is… not exactly positive?

so Ibrahim and his wife decide to cover their bases by naming baby Yusuf’s daemon Maryam, after the most revered woman in Islam – you can’t go wrong with the Virgin Mary

(when Ibrahim goes to Alexandria on a business trip soon after Yusuf’s birth, he tells a Christian acquaintance of the names chosen and the guy positively lights up: “Oh, like the Holy Family! How clever!”)

(Ibrahim’s mind goes blank for three seconds before remembering that Christians believe that the Virgin Mary got married to a guy named Joseph. He shrugs to himself and smiles politely, thinking that if this little coincidence will make Christians like his son more, then it can only be good for business and neighbourly relations, right?)

*me, writing this, in full deus ex machina robes:*

(yes, Nicolò who knew absolutely nothing about Muslims before ending up in Jerusalem will have an Existential Crisis when he learns what Yusuf and Maryam’s names stand for)

unlike with Nicky who didn’t expect his settled daemon’s form, I think Yusuf had some inkling that Maryam was going to be some form of cat – even when she was unsettled, it was one of the forms she preferred (this is Very Much Inspired by @polarcell​'s baby!Joe fanart)

and she probably would have settled into a chubby lady cat like his father’s, if it hadn’t been for the sack of Mahdia

by a stroke of luck, Yusuf and his family are in another town to celebrate one of his sisters’ wedding when the Pisans and Genoans attack and pillage Mahdia – but when they come back it’s to a disaster. The fleet is destroyed, and their warehouse has clearly been looted

after a couple of months of seeing how the situation is progressing, Ibrahim decides to move the family to Alexandria, where they have an established network and can work more easily – and Alexandria is too big, too important for Christian merchants, to be attacked like Mahdia was

Yusuf has grown up in a happy environment, but he’s heard the story of Kairouan, how his parents had to run away from it with their families years before they would meet and get married – and seeing his hometown ravaged like that, and the tight lines around his parents’ eyes, it feels like history repeating itself

Yusuf is a young man that feels things deeply and loves with all his strength. He loved Mahdia, and he’s seen it burned and wounded. He loves his family, and he’s heard his Ummi cry behind closed doors and has had to hold one of his youngest brothers because of nightmares of their house burning

he wants to protect them, he wants to be strong enough. He wants to make sure they’ll never be hurt again

when Maryam settles into a cheetah, Yusuf is sure that his desire had a part in it – and judging by the look his parents exchanged when they saw the two of them, they must have known it too

(“Well, technically she is still a cat”, he jokes. “Just bigger than expected”. His mother just smiles at him and replies “maybe Allah has greater plans for you than we can know, habibi”)

more than ten years later, Yusuf finds himself in Jerusalem, freshly back in Fatimid hands after the Seljuk conquest, to establish a new branch of the family business in the city. He’s almost ready to go back home with good news for his father and brothers when news of the approaching Franks reaches the city, and people start preparing for a siege

Yusuf spends the whole night awake, finding comfort in Maryam’s purring, eyes fixed on the saif his father had given him at the start of his journey, to protect himself. He thinks of Kairouan, of Mahdia. Of this city, so bustling and luminous, and yet so used to war and strife

he couldn’t do anything for the city of his parents, nor for the one of his childhood. But here, now... he’s a grown man, he can fight, he’s not arrived too late. He can do something now

“You know that no one will fault you if we leave. Taking care of ourselves in times of war isn’t wrong”, Maryam tells him, soothing, his voice of reason. He nods, but his mind is made up. “These invaders refused the governor’s offer. They’re here to fight, and this city will need all the help she can gather. I know I’m only one man, but every pair of hands makes a difference”

He sends his assistants and servants back home to Alexandria with a message for his family, and presents himself at the garrison to offer his eyes and his sword to the protection of Jerusalem. He’s scared, and in the back of his mind he knows that he may not come out of this alive, may not see his family ever again, but it also feels right

(two months later, seeing the invaders slaughter the helpless population, having inexplicably risen from the dead, and with a fucking Frank trying to drag him out of the walls, a Frank that doesn’t fucking die either, he regrets staying, bile rising in his throat)

(a year and a half after that, with his hand buried in the soft fur of Reparata’s neck, and hearing Maryam purr under Nicolò’s reverent touch, regret is the furthest thing from his mind)

Interesting things I learned that weren’t completely relevant to Joe’s story but I think you all should be aware of:

Wolves are mentioned all of three times in the Quran, all of them in the Surah Yusuf.

Speaking of the surah, the commentaries seemed to never waste an occasion to remark upon the fact that Yusuf was beautiful. In the story itself, the friends of Potiphar’s wife are mocking her for having a crush on a servant, so she invites them to her home and offers them apples, with a knife to peel them. When they start on the fruits, she sends for Yusuf – and as soon as he enters the room, the women are so distracted by his handsomeness that they end up cutting their own hands instead of peeling the apples.

*me, waving this information in the general direction of Argentina: “DID YOU HEAR THAT, LEANDRO FERNANDEZ?!?”*

Researching animals in Islam I found out about the prophet Muhammad’s cat, Muezza – and the story that she fell asleep on his prayer robe one day, and instead of disturbing her Muhammad cut off the sleeve she was on top of. I had to lie down because that’s the most Cat Owner Thing to do, oh my god.

Another thing that had me put down my phone and stare into nothingness: cheetahs make nyam nyam sounds when they eat.

I had definitely more problems in finding (and consulting) references for this post re: Yusuf’s background, especially since most of the footnotes on the various Wikipedia pages I jumped through were either lacking an external link or they were in French, which I can’t read. Not to mention that the Google Books previews had a tendency to skip exactly the pages where the information I most cared about was contained. Extremely acephobic of them.

That said, what isn’t already linked in the bulletpoint is down here:

Jamil M. Abun-Nasr (1987): A History of the Maghrib in the Islamic period. Cambridge University Press, 455 pages

Phillip C. Naylor (2015): North Africa, Revised Edition: A History from Antiquity to the Present. University of Texas Press, 412 pages

Pang B., Van Valkenburgh B., Kitchell K.F.Jr., Dickman A., Marker L. (2017): “History of the Cheetah-Human Relationship”, in Cheetahs: Biology and Conservation, Marker L., Boast L.K., Schmidt-Küntzel A. (eds.). Academic Press, pages 17-24

The Old Guard Character Resource Hub, specifically this map of eleventh century trade routes (whoever put it in the Google Docs, know that you have my eternal gratitude)

Unesco. International Scientific Committee for the Drafting of a General History of Africa (1992): General History of Africa, Volume 3: Africa from the Seventh to the Eleventh Century, Hrbek I. (ed.). James Currey Publishers, 398 pages

[tsukikento]

Empathetic Chapter 17

Pairing: Bakugou Katsuki x Reader

Summary: After your mom, the number 1 hero in America, gets offered a teaching position at U.A., you two pack up your things and head to Musutafu, Japan to start a new life. Pressure for you in America was at an all-time high, and now you’re in Japan, where almost no one knows you, or your family’s past.

This tale starts on your first day of class where your new teacher decides the best way for you to fit in is to fight against the strongest person in your class: Bakugou Katsuki.

Warnings/Genre: This piece will feature some angst and reference to an abusive parent, if you are ever worried about other tw’s feel free to send me an ask and I will let you know. There will also be fluff, slight angst, pining, and slowburn.

A/N: Had to write this chapter three times because somehow everything kept getting deleted!! I’m sorry for my inconsistent posting. Please leave comments, reblog, or send me asks if you like! They always keep me motived :)

(masterlist)

When you came back out for dinner, Bakugou was already sitting at the head of the table, eating away, and chatting away with Kirishima and Sero. To his left was an empty seat, but a plate filled with food.

I wonder if Bakugou made that or if someone nicer prepared it, you wonder as you and Ashido made your way to the table. If Bakugou made it, then damn. However, you wouldn’t be surprised if Kirishima made it or Kaminari who was on dish cleaning duty and needed to put away the leftovers. Regardless of who did it, they still sat you down next to Bakugou in your usual seat.

Don’t read into that, you told yourself as your sat down at the table. Instead, you focused on the delicious food in front of you that you immediately began to chow down on. You found yourself, much like Bakugou, simply eating away while Ashido, Kirishima, and Sero kept the conversation going. Both of you were much too hungry to stop and add your own commentary to the conversation.

Bakugou finished before you and chugged down his water before taking both yours and his glass to the kitchen to fill them back up. Gratefully, you mumbled out a “Thank you” before you continued to eat. Play it cool, he’s just being polite, you told yourself and Ashido proceeded to elbow you and wink.

You rolled your eyes at the pink girl and focused back on what was left on your plate.

Conversation flowed easily until Bakugou came back. The blond placed the cups onto the table before holding up his arms and stretching in a way that clearly showed his stomach. At this point, each of you were still in casual athletic clothes and his simple t-shirt lifted just enough to show his stomach.

It was an action you should be used the at this point. The blond often stretched without a care or used his quirk in ways that ruined clothing. And yet, you still found your face heating up and your eyes glued to the sight.

When he finally sat back down, he leaned in close to you. “I’m ready to go whenever,” He explained before leaning back into his chair and sipping on his water.

“Go where?” Sero, who was to Bakugou’s immediate right, questioned.

You looked to Bakugou, expecting him to reply. Not only were you hesitant to explain the situation and possibly misunderstand what Bakugou was thinking, but the blond typically made habit of answering anyways.

“The gym for yoga and cardio,” Bakugou explained, just like you expected. Luckily, it wasn’t any different than what you thought.

“Really?” Kirishima questioned, his eyes lighting up. “That sounds so manly!” He turned to look at Ashido, “Do you want to go do yoga and cardio too?”

“Um,” Ashido immediately turned to you, concerned that she and Kirishima would be intervening on your alone time with Bakugou.

Part of you wanted to welcome the company, ultimately nervous about having to hold up a conversation when neither you nor Bakugou were all too talkative. However, you spent hours alone with Bakugou each week and it wasn’t awkward then so why would it be different?

Bakugou also hates how couple-y they are so he may be more inclined to talk to me and spend time with me if they are there doing PDA, you thought before subtly nodding to Ashido.

“I’d love to go if Bakugou and Y/L/N don’t mind,” Ashido finally spoke after a few moments.

“I don’t care,” Bakugou measly replied.

“What about you, Sero?” Kirishima questioned, “Do you want to go too?”

“No way,” The black-haired boy replied, leaning back in his chair. “I had interning today and had to chase a villain down seven blocks, ugh!”

“Weren’t you using your tape though?” Ashido shot back curiously.

“So? It still drains me and my poor arms. I could not do yoga like this.” Sero flailed his arms around before letting them fall to his sides, effectively showing how absolutely dead they were. “I’ll just stay here with Kaminari and make him watch the new season of Galactic Guard again or whatever.”

“Your loss,” Kirishima jokes before chuckling lightly. “I’m going to go get changed, be down soon.”

Ashido followed him with the same explanation.

Awkwardly, you looked at Sero, expecting him to say something. You and Bakugou were already changed and had your waters with you, there was no reason for you to go upstairs. Unfortunately, due to the silence and the awkward atmosphere of a nervous you and an ever-rigid Bakugou, the black-haired boy immediately slid out of his seat, claiming to need water. However, you watched as he dropped his empty glass on the counter and simply talked to Kaminari.

You rolled your eyes and took a sip of your water, wishing there was more to do. Thinking on your feet, you stood up abruptly. “I’ll clear the dishes,” You said before stacking the plates and silverware. “Do you want your water anymore?”

Bakugou shook his head so you proceeded to grab his water, place it into your cup, and make your way to the kitchen slowly.

Kaminari and Sero greeted you happily and Kaminari immediately took your dishes.

Their rather boring conversation did not leave room for you to interject, so you simply made your way back to the dining table. Sighing, you grabbed your half-full water and reached for Bakugou’s as well. The blond watched you wordlessly.

You wondered if his lack of comment was a bad thing or if it showed comfortability and a willingness to let you touch his belongings.

As you debated the notion, you silently, almost like you were on autopilot, filled up the waters, and went back to the table. With nothing left to do, you sat back down into your seat and awaited the arrival of Kirishima and Ashido

“Thank you,” Bakugou said as you sat down with the two glasses of water.

“No problem” You replied. Despite this comment being typical for literally anyone to say, it still felt nice for him to say thank you. Maybe it was because he rarely used his manners.

Bakugou grabbed his water from the table and put it back into his bag. The two of you sat in a comfortable silence as you waited for Ashido and Kirishima. The only noise was the people talking in the kitchen and the small group watching television in the living room.

A few minutes passed by before the couple finally emerged from the elevator and greeted you both with wide smiles. Kirishima had on black basketball shorts with a red stripe down the side as well as a red hoodie. Ashido adorned a matching two-piece set of leggings and a conservative sports bra that was cheetah print. She also had on a black zip-up jacket that was currently wrapped around her waist.

You and Bakugou quickly got up from your seats, grabbed your belongings, and slowly made your way to the door. Ashido was by your side while Kirishima ran the kitchen to fill up his and Ashido’s waters. The pink girl moved from being attached to Kirishima’s side and was now attached to yours.

Giggling, she whispered in your ear, “Yet another double date!”

Sheepishly you rolled your eyes and dismissed the thought. “Don’t count your chickens before they hatch.”

“What?” Ashido questioned, moving away from you to give you a confused look.

“What do you mean ‘what’?” You shot back.

“I mean,” She began, emphasizing her words, “What does that even mean?”

“What does what mean?” You replied, absolutely clueless to the confusion.

“She’s asking what ‘don’t count your chickens before they hatch’ means,” Bakugou butted in as he stood opposite you by the front door. “Personally, I think it’s rather obvious.”

“Oh, shut it, Bakugou!” Ashido exclaimed, giving the blond a dirty look.

Laughing, you explained, “It’s just an American saying.” You debated how exactly to explain it before once again continuing, “Just because you have, say, 10 chicken eggs, 2 could break before they hatch and 3 more could be simply eggs, no baby in them. So, they saying means that you shouldn’t expect something until it happens. You can’t expect to have 10 chickens just because you have 10 eggs.”

Ashido harrumphed, clearing having trouble understanding. “Sounds dumb.” Something you also expected her to say considering she was the one ‘counting her chickens before they hatched’.

You shrugged, “It’s hard to understand sayings from other countries if you didn’t grow up around them. I’m sure some common Japanese sayings don’t make sense to me.”

At this point, Kirishima joined back in and made quick work of putting on his tennis shoes.

“My mom used to always say ‘even monkeys fall out of trees’ when I made mistakes,” Ashido explained, testing you to see if you would understand a common Japanese phrase.

“Everyone makes mistakes,” You replied after a few seconds to think it over.

“Dang!” Ashido replied as the four of you made your way out of the dorm and to the gym.

“What about this one,” Bakugou interjected. “My dad would say this all the time, ‘the stake that sticks up gets hammered down.’”

Oh, this one is definitely more complicated.

You tried working through the saying out in your brain, sure it had someone to do with being seen in society. “Um,” You began, “The person who stands out will…” You paused, unsure how to finish. Sighing, you shrugged your shoulders, “I don’t know.”

“Ha Ha!” Ashido shouted in joy. “It means the person who stands out is often subject to criticism.”

You nodded your head in understanding as she explained.

“How were you so good at those?” Kirishima asked.

“Well, word association is taught in elementary schools,” You explained, reminiscing on the problems you solved in second grade. “For example, we would get something like “cow is to barn as man is to ‘blank’ and we would have to fill it in.”

Ashido and Kirishima proceeded to exclaim “house!” while Bakugou simply nodded, actions that represented each of them rather well.

“Nice!” You laughed, high-fiving the two who guessed.

You rounded the corner at this point, entering one of the school buildings with multiple classrooms. You followed the group as they made their way upstairs and weaved through hallways. Fairly naturally, the conversation died down as the couple of Ashido and Kirishima clung to each other and dawdled behind.

Aggravated, Bakugou led your group, clearly annoyed with how slow they were. Honestly, you were pretty sure Ashido planned this so you could have alone time with the blond.

Trying to utilize this opportunity, you kept stride with the blond. “Pretty annoying, huh?” You asked, gesturing to the couple and silently apologizing for throwing them under the bus and using them as a conversation starter.

“Aren’t they always?” Bakugou replied, looking to the couple before rolling his eyes and groaning.

“Sometimes they are cute,” You shrugged, flashing a smile to the blond. “At least they’re happy, you know?” You asked, attempting to reason with them.

Bakugou simply “tsked” in reply. “Doesn’t mean they aren’t making me nauseous.”

“Very true,” You responded, unable to stop yourself from chuckling loudly. “Especially when they talk in baby voices and make little smooching noises!” You altered your voice slightly to mimic Ashido’s baby voice that you hear her only use with Kirishima.

Bakugou cackled loudly at the comment, clearly amused by your impersonation. “Or when they go off to each lunch by themselves, cuddling under a tree, and then coming back like giddy teenagers,” He added.

“Oh, yeah!” You animatedly exclaimed, “How could I forget? Kirishima ends up staring out the window all of class!”

As your laughter died down, the two of you arrived at the double doors that led to the small gym. Luckily, no one else was inside due to how late it was. In fact, you four might be here past curfew. Despite this, you entered into the gym which had a few different weight machines and treadmills as well as a room to the left that was dim and specifically designed for yoga.

You knew this was the gym that Ashido frequently used late at night but weren’t familiar with the layout. Slowly, you put down your belongings, chugged down a few gulps of your water and made your way into the yoga room. The room had too large baskets on wheels that came up to about your waist. Inside, were blue and white yoga mats with the school’s logo on it. It was for student use and cleaned every week, a small perk for going to such a prestigious hero school. By the time you grabbed a mat, you heard the large metal and glass doors once again opening. Waiting for the couple, you rolled out your mat and brought your water to your side.

Although you did yoga frequently and could easily start your own routine, you figured the four of you would want to do a routine together. Once inside, Kirishima and Ashido quickly came into the yoga room and set up mats.

“I’ll hook up my phone to the projector so we can play a video,” Ashido explained as she plugged her phone into a wire that connected to the projector.

You watched the pink girl search up a yoga routine that was primarily focused on stretching the body pre-workout. The video was about half an hour-long, so you simply prepared yourself by sitting on your knees and waiting for the introduction to finish.

Yoga went by rather quickly, which each of you silently following the video. You were all in your own worlds, thinking about your own problems or simply letting your mind go black as you followed the routine. You could tell it was something your mind and body was craving after a long day of theorizing and sitting at the desk.

Once the routine finally ended, you let out a big breath and stretched your body one final time before grabbing your water bottle to drink from. “Ah, that was so good!” You sighed, completely satisfied.

Kirishima and Ashido hummed in agreement as they rolled up their mats.

“And now it’s time to put that stretching to good use,” Bakugou added, as he passed by you with his own rolled mat. He grabbed yours, which you just finished rolling, and went to put them away. Once done, he made his way back to you and held out his hand to help you up. “Shall we go run?” He asked while he effortlessly pulled you up.

“We shall,” You replied, a wide smile on your face.

Bakugou had never, not even when he was kicking your ass in training, helped your up or touched your hand. Immediately, you felt heat spreading up your face and your heart beating faster.

Ashido, who was putting her own yoga mat into her bag eyed you suspiciously. Subtly, you gave her a surprised look and shrugged your shoulders. Bakugou inevitably let go of your hand after you were standing up straight. He was surprisingly warm and you held quickly went cold without his touching.

In an attempt to play everything off cool, you simply followed behind him, grabbing your bag and moving to the treadmill next to his. You placed your belongings down, took one last gulp of water, and got onto your treadmill.

Bakugou, who had already started, was going at a slow pace and you decided to follow in line with him. The slow speed was an ideal way to warm up your body and prepare you for a faster pace.

You didn’t have to wait long, however, because Bakugou soon sped up his treadmill by two. He gave you’re a clear look and you didn’t even have to take out your earbuds to know he was subtly saying there is no way in hell you will run faster than me.

After a few more strides, you also increased your speed, clicking three times to be running one faster than him.

Almost immediately, Bakugou gave you another look and increased his speed. This game of tug-of-war continued for a few minutes, each of you slowly increasing your speed in order to one-up the other. It was fun when you started slow, and you even found yourself smiling when you were running at a speed just below a sprint. However, you were now sprinting at a breakneck pace and craving this game to stop.

You once again, and quite stubbornly, pressed the up arrow to increase your speed.

Bakugou attempted to groan under his breath, but he was going too fast to have control over his voice and you clearly heard the roan of indignation. The blond pressed his finger onto the up arrow and increased his speed just as he had done before. This time, however, he notably did not go past your speed.

The both of you were now running at the same speed, and although you were tempted to go up at least one more to irk Bakugou, you knew it was best not to. It was all down to endurance now.

You focused your attention on running, moving your arms to help your speed, and focusing on your breathing to make sure you were taking in big and consistent breaths.

“Woah, Bakugou and Y/N-chan!” Kirishima’s voice rang through your ears. Despite only being two treadmills over and a total of 12 feet, you could barely hear him. “So manly!” If you were looking at him, you would see him send a cheeky smile to Ashido before increasing his own speed.

However, you were all too involved in your own competition to worry about him.

You felt your legs burn and crave for a break. You felt so hot that you were sure you were steaming. In fact, you saw steam.

Steam? You looked to your left from where it was coming and saw steam emitting from Bakugou’s palms. You could have gasped in surprise if you weren’t so already short on breath. The next thing to smelled was an intense caramel. Or is it burning sugar? You questioned as you realized it was coming from the blond next to you.

It smells so sweet, you thought, clearly distracted. It made you think of caramel apples at amusement parks, chewing on the delectable treat as you walked around, surrounded by vibrant lights.

You inhaled deeply, trying to take it all in. Suddenly, you tripped. The floor fell out from under you, and you did not have enough speed or traction to keep up. Quickly, you clutched onto the railings and got back up to speed. The difficult action, which would surely leave bruises on your arms, lasted only a few seconds. Although Bakugou noticed, he didn’t say anything, so you simply kept up with running.

However, now your body ached even more. All you wanted to do was stop and you couldn’t drag your brain away from the idea. You felt your limbs begging to slow down and you could no longer deny the request. Reluctantly, you slowed down the treadmill with a sigh. Bakugou immediately noticed the action and shot his arms up with a small “woop!” in excitement.

At least seeing him so excited was worth it, you thought as you finally stopped the treadmill.

With exhaustion running through your veins, you got off the treadmill and made a beeline to your water. Your legs gave out and you sat against the wall, arching your back to give your lungs room. You chugged a few gulps of the cool beverage before you brought your hands above your head. It was the best way to get air into your lungs and control your breathing again.

Bakugou quickly joined you, copying your actions but while standing up.

“Good job, guys!” Ashido exclaimed, giving you both a thumbs up as she jogged at a much more reasonable pace.

You returned the gesture before grabbing your water again. Slumped up against the wall, you closed your eyes. Mentally, you made a note to not go out running tomorrow.

While you rested, you heard Ashido and Kirishima turn off their treadmills and join you against the wall. They chatted amongst themselves while Bakugou sat next to you.

Immediately, the caramel smell emitting off him wafted into your noise and filled your senses with euphoria and anxiety. He smelled so good, and yet you were certain he was much closer to you now. You could practically feel his body heat against your left arm.

The chatter from Ashido and Kirishima provided white noise, while Bakugou’s sweet aroma and warm body provided the ultimate guide to sleep. Your tired body craved it and you slowly felt yourself falling deeper and deeper.

Too tired to notice, you slowly leaned to the left, your shoulder eventually touching Bakugou’s. It was slight, a small brush of skin, but the blond immediately noticed the action, who stared at your sleeping body which found comfort in the purchase of his body.

You weren’t sure how much time passed when you were woken back up. In fact, you didn’t realize you fell asleep until you were waking up and opening your eyes to the sight of Bakugou’s own crimson orbs.

Quickly, you noticed the feeling of a warm arm against yours and moved abruptly away.

You could feel the heat spread from your neck to your cheeks and ears. If you weren’t in such shock, you would have also been certain that Bakugou’s own cheeks blushed pink. You shook your head in confusion, pushing away the ridiculous thoughts that came to mind.

“S-sorry!” You stuttered out, your voice barely emitting a sound.

“It’s fine,” Bakugou confidently laughed, brushing off the topic. “I just thought you would want to head back soon since you are falling asleep.”

“Uh, yeah,” You mumbled, “Thanks.” Looking away, you set your eyes on all your belongings and began picking them up. Sometimes it was difficult to look him in the eyes. Despite how warm and entrancing they were, they made you feel hot all over and spread nerves all throughout your body. You swallowed the lump in your throat as you stood all the way up and awaited Bakugou.

It only took a moment for the blond to stand upright after you. Gingerly smiling, you turned and made your way to the door.

“You guys coming?” Bakugou asked, walking backward so he could face the couple.

“Later,” Ashido mumbled, waving him away as she continued to smile at her boyfriend.

Bakugou hummed in acknowledgment and turned to you, a signal to open the door into the empty hallway.

“Today was fun,” You remarked, sparing a glance at the blond as the metal door eased closed. “Although I am sure tomorrow will be tough.” You paused, thinking over your schedule, “At least I only have class tomorrow.”

Although you were too nervous to look long, you saw the blond smile shyly and nod his head. “Yeah, I’m just glad I am done with the assignment due in English tomorrow.”

“Ah,” You replied, “How I wish I only had English assignments instead of extra Japanese assignments.”

“You’ll need to learn if you plan to stay here,” Bakugou remarked.

You scoffed, “I would argue that my Japanese was quite good already.” Rolling your eyes, you spared a teasing smile to him.

“What about when you are given a paper report and expected to read it all in minutes? Or when you have to write a report after a mission?” Bakugou shot back.

You groaned loudly, simply imagining how torturous a kanji-filled report that you would need to run through quickly. “Maybe you’ll be nice enough to write my reports for me?” You joked, opening your eyes and pouting in an attempt to look cute.

Bakugou blew air out his nose in a short laugh. “Bold of you to assume that I would even hire you to work at my agency.”

“Rude,” You replied, knowing full well that this was all a joke. “I think I would be a good hire, I could keep you calm during idiotic interviews or meetings too.” You looked into his eyes, “So, you want to start your own agency?”

“Need to if I’m going to be number one,” Bakugou curtly answered, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Well,” You began, “If I’m still in the area, and you are in desperate need of a hire, I would be happy to help.”

“Thanks.”

A small laugh and a brief look had your insides twisting. You once again felt hot. However, you were now, luckily, in the cool air of the night. You calmed yourself as the two of you approached the dorms.

Bakugou took a few quick steps to get ahead of you to reach the door. He moved to the side so you could enter in first and you smiled and nodded politely.

However, when you entered the dorm, your mood quickly changed. Practically every student was in the living room, some standing, some sitting. Most notably, Aizawa-sensei stood in the dining room, leaned up against the large wooden table, and clearly lost in his thoughts. Multiple sets of eyes turned to look at you. Your anxieties pooled in your stomach as you looked at your teacher.

Is it that bad that we are past curfew?

You felt Bakugou’s body pressed close up against yours. You were too scared to move, so the blond had to squeeze in. He was about to jokingly push you out of the way until he noticed the concerning scene in front of him.

You had no time to think about how comforting the action was, especially as he placed your hands onto your shoulders. He squeezed the slightly, but you were unsure if it was an action that was supposed to make you feel better or to make your move. You stumbled forward, but the blond hardly moved.

Aizawa cleared his throat and moved from his perch at the table. Silently, he approached you. “Let’s talk outside,” He whispered so only Bakugou, and you could hear. “Just you,” He elaborated, looking into your eyes.

You gulped and let Bakugou push you away so Aizawa could reach the door and lead the way out. You only snapped back to reality when your shoulders were suddenly cold at the lost touch.

“Okay,” You mumbled, stumbling to follow after your teacher. Maybe he was going to lecture us separately? You wondered, clinging to the hope that this was a simple scolding and not a disastrous event.

It must be my mom, what else would it be?

“Is my mom okay?” You immediately questioned when the door Bakugou closed was finally shut.

“Yes,” He abruptly replied, “Let’s talk this way.” He led you around the building to where there were multiple benches.

“My siblings?”

“Sit,” He spoke and motioned at a long bench.

You sat quickly, hoping it would make the news come quicker as well.

“There is no easy way to say this,” He began, “Please just listen.” Aizawa rubbed his eyes, clearly drained. “There was a prison escape at the North-Western prison. A total of 117 inmates escaped and are being rounded up. Your father is one of them.”

[somecunttookmyurl]

"i don't have anxiety" "i once had a stalker in real life and just punched them and told them to get a life" wow you really truly do NOT have anxiety huh

no the last therapist i had (NHS psychotherapy I waited literal years for and then only got one year of it once a week and was COMPLETELY USELESS BUT I DIGRESS) just said my fear response is broken in the other direction

anxiety is having an over-active fear response. your flight/fight/freeze instinct kicks in more often than it should for things more mild than it should be present for. like a phone call. or taking a new bus. or counting your change in a shop.

having some degree of a fear response is healthy. it's what kept us alive. you are supposed to be afraid of tigers, and falling off of cliffs, and somebody threatening you with a weapon.

but mine is broken the other way which means it just basically never kicks in ever. which has its advantages, like not being scared to just Get Shit Done and LISTEN HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT people or travel by myself. however, the degree to which mine is MIA also means i'm likely to die in some very hilarious and extremely preventable manner.

genuinely if i was born in america somebody would for sure have shot me for being a smart alec by now. i would have died in a bar fight in the age of swords. absolutely would have eaten a poison mushroom in the time before we figured out which ones those were

so like yeah it's still a problem just as much as anxiety is really because it turns you into a gigantic dumbass with no presevation instincts, it's just that psychology doesn't recognise it as such and you can't take pills to make your More Scared of Things

not to make this any longer that it is bc i recognise it is Not That Deep Bro, but i have a lot of friends with anxiety and i apparently project an anti-anxiety aura. this isn't because i am a calm zen buddhist monk person, but apparently me just Aggressively Doing Things Without Giving A Shit yeets the anxiety out of other people. like that one comic about having an immune system so strong it has an area of effect. if i stand near my girlfriend she gains the ability to make phone calls. i am the emotional support dog they give nervous cheetahs

[anothermicrocosm]

Chapter IV - My Love, When You Dream Them Up

I’m alive! I’m so bad at consistency in general but I was suddenly struck with inspiration so I decided to write a new chapter. I’m hoping I’ll be more consistent from now on so this story can actually progress. Thank you to my two friends (you know who you are!) for bullying me into writing a new chapter, I forgot how much I enjoy it. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing it!

x

I hate you.

I hate that you’re the most attractive person I’ve ever laid eyes on. I hate that you know this.

I hate how smart you are. You’re smarter than me and you’re smarter than anyone else I know. I hate the amount of words that are stored in there, in that big, wonderful brain of yours.

I hate your pretentiousness and how you refused to ever say “fuck” when referring to intercourse and only ever used the term “make love”.

I hate your inability to wash dishes.

I hate how you exclusively chew peppermint gum with your mouth agape, loudly. And I hate myself for finding it attractive.

I hate that I feel your absence like a gaping black hole in my chest. I hate that whenever I’m with anyone else, I can’t help but think that it would be better if I were with you.

I hate that you’ve tainted everything I ever shared with you. I can’t listen to “Something” by The Beatles anymore. I just think of the first time you kissed me.

“Do you remember the first time?”

The words resound in my head.

I hate how premeditated that phrase was.

Premeditated - like everything you do. We’re both over-thinkers, except you think about things before, I after. You, wise, me, naive.

You were, of course, referring to the Pulp song. You know it’s my favourite song. Fucker. You fucker. You know the power you have over me, you know you do, so you decided to go on and taint it.

I take my headphones and my phone out of the handy pocket my tailor sewed into my gown. And I play “Something”. And I think of that sunny afternoon spent with you, the one our first kiss took place in. And I think of the song you wrote for me about that day, that glorious, “pulchritudinous” (you un-ironically used that word), picturesque (I’m speaking like you), day.

And I think about how you decided to cover the song with your obtuse metaphors and twist it into being about Arielle. And I hate you even more.

I’m at the café we agreed to meet up in ten minutes early. 12:30 on the dot. We’d met several times after that party and had numerous phone calls. I had officially moved to sunny Los Angeles three months ago and I was immensely grateful for our meetings because it meant I had a friend in that hot, large city I already despised.

In the end, you weren’t able to produce my album because you had to record an album of your own. I wasn’t even disappointed. I was thrilled you even considered it.

“Don’t be late”.

That’s what you ended yesterday’s conversation with. And that’s why I was there half an hour earlier.

You were already there when I arrived.

You smiled at me through big sunglasses and waved me over to the table you chose outside so we could smoke.

As I sat down next to you, I noticed something was different about you. Something had shifted. I later realised what it was, when I got to know you better.

You were nervous. You already knew what was going to happen.

Another example of your overthinking. You had the whole afternoon planned, all of it. Down to the kiss. But you were nervous. I made you nervous. Me.

Honestly, I don’t remember anything about that meeting. I can’t recall what was said. I was too busy drooling over you like a total idiot. I really liked you. A lot.

The only thing I remember was you complimenting the black boots I bought myself for my birthday.

“They’re space cowboy boots. I love them. Very Kubrick-esque”, you said, chuckling.

I had to chuck the boots I so adored in the storage room I rented to put all my tainted belongings in. I just couldn’t have all those things around me. It burnt my heart in ways I couldn’t understand.

The coat I was wearing that day also went in there. And the dress.

“I like your cheetah print coat. Now that I think about it, your whole outfit is straight out of a sixties french filmé. Even your makeup!”, you exclaimed through a cloud of smoke from the cigarette you were holding in between two fingers.

I laughed. “Thank you, although it’s leopard print, not cheetah. For someone who knows so many words, you sure don’t know a lot about fashion”, I teased.

It was a cool yet sunny September afternoon. It was cool enough to keep my coat on, which was wrapped tightly around my black slip dress.

You payed for our lunch despite my arguing and on we went with our adventure. We didn’t stop talking the whole time as we slowly walked, calm and content towards a local record store you knew.

You took me there without my asking because you remembered I kept a collection.

The record store had a secluded listening booth.

We looked through the bins while talking about music and other unimportant things that seem huge in those moments.

I later found out how comfortable you were with me from the start. I thought you were only shy with interviewers since you were funny and charming with me from the start. Until I saw you with other people you were supposed to be close with. I don’t think I ever saw you talk to anyone else the way you talked to me.

You held up a record. A “Something/Come Together” 7” single by The Beatles.

“Let’s listen to this”, you said, cocking your head in the direction of the listening booth.

I sat down in one of the chairs and watched as you put on the record.

I heard the soft drums and the first seven guitar notes of “Something”‘s intro. All of a sudden my palms were sweaty and the room was too small…

…Something in the way she moves…

…You looked over at me and I looked right into the dark galaxy of your eyes. And your mouth, slightly agape as you leaned over…

..Somewhere in her smile she knows…

…I watch you close your eyes as you get closer to me and my chest feels too tight and my stomach flutters. Your mouth is almost at it’s final destination and you slowly put your hand on my thigh…

…You’re asking me will my love grow…

…I feel my face redden as I close my eyes and lean towards you, my mouth in a pout to help you finish your journey…

…I don’t want to leave her now…

…You taste of coffee and cigarettes and faint peppermint gum and of the tuna sandwich you just had for lunch and your lips are soft and I can smell your cologne and your men’s deodorant and fresh shaving foam and the pomade in your hair and the leather of your jacket and the detergent of your shirt and your skin I can smell your skin itself and your hand is on my thigh and your ring is pressing against my soft skin and I’m melting and I know the song is about to end and you’ll pull away from me and I want this moment to last forever and…

…You know I believe and how…

…The last notes of the song play and I look at you and you’re blushing too and I can feel how hot my face is and your hand is still on my thigh and I don’t want to move and I want to stay there in the booth forever staring into your dark, expressive eyes…

There’s a loud knock on the door and a voice tells us to get out.

“Coming!” I yell back at the voice.

You take your hand off my thigh, put the single back in the sleeve, help me up, and open the door for me.

And just like that, the moment is over.

[hey-there-juliet]

llora por una rosa, dijo el ruiseñor

➤ Written for Day One of Jukebox Appreciation Week: Canonverse @jukebox-week

Summary: Dr Turner said that there was no such thing as a schedule for grief and that everyone dealt with it in their own way, so it was okay if some days were worse than others. Although it helped to have a cute ghost to cuddle with. (Read it on AO3)

Notes: Thank you so much @sunsetcurbed and @felicitysmoaksx for betaing this for me! You guys are amazing, and any remaining mistakes are my own. 

Title: El ruiseñor y la rosa, by Oscar Wilde. | Song: A La Nanita Nana, from The Cheetah Girls 2.

Enjoy ♡

llora por una rosa, dijo el ruiseñor

Sometimes, Julie would wake up feeling like her world had turned on its axis as the pain of losing her mother hit her all over again. Dr Turner said it was normal, that there was no such thing as a schedule for grief and that everyone dealt with it in their own way, so it was okay if some days were worse than others. 

The problem was that every 'worse' day seemed to get worse.

Reality came crashing down on her on a Thursday morning with absolutely no warning. She still hadn't figured out what triggered the bad days, but she was pretty sure they were intrinsically connected to the good ones. 

Ever since the ghosts of three teenagers from the '90s fell into her life, Julie had been having (mostly) good days. Sometimes it all felt like a too vivid daydream, a fantasy she'd come up with to escape her painful reality. Ghosts, the band, music back in her life, stronger than ever, curses and playing the Orpheum; it was crazy. So crazy that it might as well be true. 

Five days after the Orpheum, after being able to touch the guys, Julie woke up with the realization that her mom would never meet them. She would never be there for Julie to tell her about how much Reggie enjoyed spending time with her dad. Or how cute Alex looked with his pink-tinted cheeks as he spoke about Willie and museums. Her mom would never be there for Julie to tell her about Luke's passion for music, about his endless energy and encouragement, about his perfect smile and ever-changing eyes and how it felt to finally, finally be able to wrap her arms around him. Her mom would've loved Luke. She would've loved all of them.

Only minutes after Julie turned off her last alarm, her dad knocked on her door, brows furrowed in concern when he peered into the room only to find her still in bed, eyes puffy and red, nose stuffed up and burrowed in her covers. 

"Oh, mija," he sighed, making his way into the room. He sat down next to her, and Julie dragged herself into her father's arms, unable to hold back the sobs that were begging to be let out.

"I miss her," she gasped between cries, burying the words into her dad's shoulder. 

"Me too, cariño. Me too." He wrapped his arms around her and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “Your mom would be so proud of you, Julie. Wherever she is, I know she’ll be watching over you and Carlos and cheering you on like she always did.”

Julie nodded, thinking about the three boys who had literally dropped into her life. Her dad had no idea how right he was.

“Why don’t we take the day off? I’ll call the school and empty my schedule.”

“No, no,” she protested, leaning away and wiping her eyes with the sleeves of her sleep t-shirt. “Don’t miss out on work because of me, I’ll be alright. I think I’d just like to be alone today.”

He didn’t seem really convinced, raising an eyebrow in her direction and lowering his head to meet her eyes directly. “You sure?”

“I’m sure, Papi.” Julie sent him the most reassuring smile she could manage, which must have been good enough because he soon relented and pushed himself up.

“I’ll bring you something today after work, how about that?”

She frowned, unable to stop the lighthearted smile from forming on her lips. “Like what?”

Her dad shrugged, stepping backwards toward the door. “I don’t know, something cool. A surprise.”

Julie chuckled, but agreed, “Okay.”

“Don’t stay in bed all day. And eat something.”

“I won’t, and I will. Thanks, Papi.” She threw him a soft smile.

“Te quiero, mija.”

“I love you, too.” With a last worried glance in her direction, her dad stepped out and closed her bedroom door, taking all of Julie’s lightheartedness with him.

Like a dark cloud descended over her, Julie’s mood crashed again. Left alone with her thoughts, she couldn’t keep herself from imagining if anything would’ve been different had her mom still been there. Would Julie even have told her about the boys? After all, she still hadn’t told her dad, and now with her being able to touch the guys, it could be just a matter of time before they became visible to her family. 

One thing she knew for sure it’s that she definitely would have never stopped playing, and maybe she wouldn’t have immediately kicked Luke, Reggie and Alex out. And maybe, without needing to earn back her spot in the music program, she never would’ve played with Sunset Curve in the first place. That was a terrifying thought, but she’d like to think that they would’ve found their way to Julie and the Phantoms eventually anyway, and her mom would be cheering for them every step of the way.

Julie sighed, dropping back down into her pillows and burying herself into her covers again. With one hand, she reached over her nightstand for a picture of her mom and her. It wasn’t her favorite one — that one was in her dresser, — but it was definitely a close second. Rose was sitting on the couch with a five-year-old Julie on her lap, fresh out of the shower and rolled up in her towels like a burrito. They’d been watching something on TV when her dad captured the moment. Years later, Julie had no idea what they were watching, but what she did know was that there were several pictures of that day because that was when her parents found out they were having Carlos and so her dad wanted to have the whole day on record.

With a soft laugh at the memory of her mom and dad telling her that story, Julie traced her mother’s smiling face in the photograph, lightly humming her favorite lullaby that Rose used to sing to her.

Julie was startled out of her thoughts by a sudden knock. She dropped the picture down on the bed, body tensing up since her dad and Carlos had left minutes ago, until she remembered they weren’t actually the only residents at the Molina household anymore. She rolled her eyes before calling the knocker in.

Luke’s beanie covered head phased through the door. He had a bright grin on his lips and a bounce on his step as he made his way inside, stopping by the foot of her bed.

“Skipping school? Damn, Jules, I didn’t know you had it in you,” he said, apparently before getting a good look at her and immediately frowning in concern. “What is it, what’s wrong?” Luke came closer, kneeling by the side of her bed and resting his chin at the corner of her mattress.

Julie took a moment to take him in; the way his bottom lip stuck out just a little in a pout, and how his hands fiddled with her sheets, his eyes focused and intense, filled with worry and never leaving hers. She had to look away. “Nothing, I’m just- I’m just missing my mom today, that's all.”

“Oh.” His voice was low, barely a whisper, and it drew Julie’s eyes back to him. This time, he was the one staring down at her bed. He crossed his arms over the mattress and rested his chin on them, only sticking a hand out to tap lightly on the picture that rested between them. “Is this her?”

She looked down at the picture again, tracing the frame with her fingers. “Yeah, that’s mom.” 

“You look like her.”

Raising her eyes to meet his again, Julie couldn’t help the soft smile at the sincerity she found in his face. “Yeah? Thanks.”

They were silent for a moment, both lost in thought. Julie was sure that Luke’s mind had gone to his own mom. She knew he still visited his parents, and sometimes she honestly couldn’t say what would be worse: to never be able to see or speak with her parents again, or to see them and talk to them, only to receive no response and have them look right through you.

“Scooch over.” Luke’s voice brought her out of her thoughts abruptly, and Julie could only blink at him in confusion as he got up and started toeing his shoes off.

“What?”

“Move over,” he shooed her with his hands, and Julie was a little too shocked to protest when he grabbed a corner of her blankets and crawled into bed next to her. 

For a whole minute, Luke fumbled around, fixing the pillows behind him however he wanted and covering himself with her blankets except for the one leg sticking out of the side. Finally, he opened one arm in invitation and threw her an expectant look.

Julie could do nothing but look at him in bewilderment, on the edge of freaking out about having a boy (a boy she had a big, fat crush on, no less) on her bed. Before she could let herself spiral into nervous laughter, Julie shook her head with a chuckle, and moved closer, fitting herself into his side with the picture of her mom in her lap. She was unable to contain the sigh of relief at actually being able to feel him there — the boys’ solid-state was still new, and she was always afraid that it would suddenly go away. 

Luke shuffled around a little more, getting both of them comfortable before tapping the picture in her lap again. “Tell me about her.”

With her brain still struggling to catch up, all she could manage was a “Huh?”

“Well, you got to meet my mom, but since I can’t meet yours, I figured the next best thing is that you tell me about her.”

Julie looked at him then, soft eyes meeting hers, and she felt her breath catch, the familiar butterflies fluttered their wings in her stomach. She couldn’t quite put a name to what she was feeling, she just knew that she had never felt something like it before.

She gave him a smile, and turned forward again, leaning her head on his shoulder to look down at the picture in her lap. There were a million things she could tell Luke about her mother, but the decision was made for her once she caught sight of the dahlias on the cushions next to her mom in the picture.

“My mom loved flowers. All kinds, and plants, and she would make the most beautiful flower crowns you’ve ever seen. Anytime we went to the park, she’d find these pretty, wildflowers and make crowns for me and my friends. Carrie and I used to say we were fairy princesses,” Julie chuckled, losing herself in vague memories of two little girls chasing each other around the swings while her mom sat on the ground nearby, weaving flowers together. Luke laughed softly with her at the image she painted. “Her favorite were dahlias, though. Mom absolutely loved them, they’re everywhere in the house.”

“Dahlias,” he said, and Julie glanced at him over her shoulder to find him lost in his own thoughts. “My mom likes those too.” He sent her a sad smile before motioning for her to go ahead.

“Uh… She loved sparkly things. Every time an outfit wasn’t quite what she wanted, she’d just… bedazzle the hell out of it.” Julie laughed, happy tears forming in her eyes. She sniffed. In the back of her mind, she remembered the latest bedazzled creation of her mom’s she’d found — the Sunset Curve shirt, and made a mental note to ask the guys about it later.

“She, uh, she didn’t like sugar on her tea, but she had the biggest sweet tooth. She loved breakfast for dinner, especially pancakes. She was a great dancer, she’s the one who taught me how to salsa, 'cause dad’s a little useless in that department.” Using the sleeve of her shirt, Julie wiped away the few stray tears that had fallen down her cheeks. If Luke was bothered by her crying, he didn’t say anything.

“She used to leave notes all over the house. Sometimes reminders about Carlos’ games, or where dad had put his keys, but other times just little encouraging messages like 'you got this' and ‘I love you’...” Julie’s voice trailed off, remembering the last note her mom ever left for her at the end of Wake Up; You can do it, Julie. Love, mom.

The few tears multiplied. She sniffed again.

“She sounds amazing,” Luke said softly, brushing his cheek over her hair and using the arm he had around her to reach for her hand. 

“She was,” Julie agreed, distracting herself by playing with the rings on his fingers. He was such a rockstar. She chuckled, tilting her head to the side just a little but not looking away from his hand as she traced the calluses on his fingertips. “When she was younger, she was actually in a band. A couple of bands, even.”

Julie felt Luke tense up in excitement, and she imagined he was having a hard time actually staying still.

“Really?” he asked, and she heard the awe in his voice just like the first time he said her mother was a really talented writer.

“Oh, yeah. They never made it big, but… they sounded pretty good. And mom was an amazing singer and writer, and the way she shredded on the piano?” Julie shook her head, no words would ever be able to describe the admiration she had for her mom and her talent.

“Kinda like you, then?” His tone was teasing, but Julie could hear the sincerity in it plain as day, and couldn’t help but tilt her head up to throw him a thankful look. 

“She taught me everything. The first song I learned on the piano was the lullaby she used to sing to me. Every night, she sang Carlos and I to sleep, and my dad too, if he happened to be sitting down,” she told him, and they laughed at the image of her dad being lulled to sleep.

As their chuckles faded out, they lapsed into silence. Using Luke’s knuckles as keyboards, Julie practiced the lullaby she hadn’t heard in years. She kind of wished she could go back in time and tell twelve-year-old Julie that she would never be too old to be lulled asleep by her mom’s voice. 

A few moments later, Luke’s voice broke the silence. “Will you sing for me?”

“What?” she wasn’t sure she’d heard him right.

“The first song you learned, the lullaby. Will you sing it for me?” he asked again, voice just barely above a whisper, drawing her eyes back toward him, like a siren luring a fisherman into the sea. 

For a second or two, Julie got lost in his ocean eyes — the late morning sun that was shining through her open curtains making them look bright blue. Then she cleared her throat, taking the moment to remember some of the lyrics. Julie’s Spanish was never as good as her parents’, but the words for this song she knew by heart.

“A la nanita nana, nanita ella, nanita ella,” her voice started out low and slowly built up to the song’s rhythm. Julie didn’t look at him, but she could feel Luke’s warm gaze fixed on her. “Mi niña tiene sueño, bendito sea, bendito sea.” She repeated the first two lines, letting her volume rise just a little. The song felt like an overdue embrace from her mom, and Julie let herself get lost in the memories it brought.

She felt Luke’s fingers tapping against her own hand, and could imagine almost perfectly how the melody would sound coming from his guitar. A part of her wondered why it felt so natural to share this with him, but she also knew that if it wasn’t for Luke, Stand Tall would probably still be sitting unfinished inside her Dreambox. Music flowed through him the same way it did through her, and the same way it had flowed through her mom. It felt right to share this with him too.

Ascending to a major key, Julie started the next verse effortlessly. “Fuentecita que corre, clara y sonora. Ruiseñor que en la selva, cantando y llora. Calla mientras la cuna, se balancea. A la nanita nana, nanita ella...”

Julie sat up a little, leaning her shoulder against Luke’s and finally turning to meet his eyes. The look on his face… she couldn’t describe it, but her heart understood it anyway. Without looking away from him, she continued. “A la nanita nana, nanita ella, nanita ella. Mi niña tiene sueño, bendito sea, bendito sea.” Before Julie could start the last verse, Luke started to hum, following the song’s rhythm as if he’d heard it several times before. His fingers were still tapping against her wrist, and she couldn’t help sending him a small smile before continuing.

“Fuentecita que corre clara y sonora. Ruiseñor que en la selva, cantando y llora. Calla mientras la cuna, se balancea. A la nanita nana...” she sang, then drew a deep breath and closed her eyes, remembering her mom’s kind and smiling face. Dragging out the last couple of notes, Julie finished the song, a single tear making its way down her cheek. “... nanita ella.”

The silence that followed wasn’t heavy or even charged. It was peaceful and comfortable, and Julie could have basked in it for a long time, but she couldn’t say she was surprised when Luke ended the peace quite soon.

She felt his hand leaving hers and wiping away the tear from her cheek just as her eyes fluttered open, meeting his awed eyes and impossibly soft smile.

“That was beautiful, Jules.”

She smiled, accepting the compliment with a nod before settling back down against him. Julie burrowed her face against his neck, the lullaby from her childhood had left her feeling light and sleepy.

Luke seemed to have gotten the message because he shuffled around a little more before settling down too. Julie didn’t know if the boys could sleep now; they couldn’t before, but after everything that had happened post-Orpheum, to ask whether they could sleep or not wasn’t exactly high on her priority list. 

She felt his fingers lightly run down her braided hair, soothing her further into sleep. Just before she could doze off completely, Luke spoke again.

“You know, you never told me her name.”

Julie yawned, wrapping an arm around his middle and pulling herself closer into his side as she answered. “Rose. Her name was Rose.”

She didn’t see Luke’s frown, or notice the way he looked down at the picture that had fallen from her lap and into his with a dawning sense of realization. All Julie knew was that she felt safe, and loved, and that wherever she was, her mom was still watching over her.

After all, she'd sent her Luke. 

[anbudrky2021]

The 𝔇𝔢𝔩𝔦𝔠𝔞𝔱𝔢 Sound of 𝒯𝒽𝓊𝓃𝒹𝑒𝓇 │ 𝕋𝕙𝕠𝕣 𝕆𝕕𝕚𝕟𝕤𝕠𝕟

Smut warning. Please click here for series description and TWs. 💕

Ch 4: Projecting

“Thor?” I was confused why he is was there.

“Who made you cry, y/n??” He asked again.

“Nobody,” I lied.

“You can’t tell me a lie without me noticing.” Thor stood, patiently waiting. “Was it Buck?” he had a look of concern, but not anger or malice toward Bucky, which surprised me. When I had come back from Wakanda and told him what had happened, he was so angry. I had never seen Thor so...enraged. So to see him calm was...weird.

“Just leave it alone. Please.” I softly spoke, hoping he would listen.

“I will leave it alone. You are not my responsibility. But please...” he looked genuinely into my eyes, “please let me know if I need to squash him.” He smirked for a moment.

“What are you doing here?” My last tear had dried up and I was now breathing like normal.

“Tony sent me. And Peter.” His eyes rolled slightly. “As much as this...man of spiders bothers me...he does care for you. And I can respect that. Also Tony wanted me to do some recon.” He wiggled his eyebrows.

”Recon? On what?” I whispered now, urging him to do the same. “Not King T’Ch-” he cut me off with a hearty laugh.

“No!!” He boomed. “Not T’Challa. He’s great. Tony trust that Black Leopard. Cheetah. No, that’s not it...Cougar. Capybara.” He looked up at the ceiling quizzically.

“Wow, Thor that’s not even a cat...” I laughed out loud. “Panther, hon. It’s black panther. And if you aren’t...spying on him who-”

“That’s why I was actually hoping on running into you...it’s Bucky. Tony wants to make sure he’s ready to come to the-”

“No. He’s not. He’s not coming back with us. He’s not ready. There. Now go home and tell Tony I already did the recon.” I started walking past Thor but he grabbed my arm lightly.

“This is why he sent me..the four of you are biased. He’s Steve’s best friend. Wanda is your best friend. You...have a history. And Nat, well she’s great but we didn’t want to make her be a double-agent. Not again...” he sighed. “So here I am.”

“Tony didn’t think you’d be biased in my favor? Or against it?” I retorted.

“Nah. He knows I can separate a mission from a woman. I do still care for you, y/n.” He paused for a moment. “I really do...I know it’s hard for you to be here with him around. Don’t forget to ask for help when you need it. You’re almost as stubborn as an asguardian woman and that is a feat.”

We both laughed. He’d told me that many times. He always said that was one of the reasons he liked me so much. I had reminded him of the head-strong women from his Home, in which he respected and loved so much.

We parted ways after saying goodbye. I was confused now. Thor made me feel so comfortable. So cared for. But so did Peter. I had destroyed my chances with Thor..but not Peter. Not yet. But being here with Bucky made my heart wrench out of my chest. I felt dirty. Like I had been a cleat chaser for a baseball team or something. Which is fine. I have done my share of sleeping around. But this group...this team I am a part of...it feels wrong sometimes. Nat hasn’t slept with any of them. Wanda only has eyes for Vis. Hope and Scott are basically married. I mean...I just...

“You’re projecting!!” Thor yelled from down the hallway.

“Jesus...” I whispered, now jogging away. How much had I projected?! And to whom?!

My mind started to dizzy. My fingers and toes felt like they were buzzing. My heart raced and my breathing was completely irregular. I propped myself up against the wall and slid down slowly. I took deep breaths, tried to think of something to distract me but my head was spinning.

“Y/n?” Nat’s voice was like music. She helped me up and walked me to my room. By the time we got there, I felt like I could at least stand. “Nat I am so sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

She looked around the room. “What happened here?” She asked, pointing at the broken vase I had thrown at Bucky earlier. I didn’t even know what it was until now. Guilt sprang through me. T’Challa was so kind to let us stay here. And I broke his vase.

“Hey, you know you’re projecting right?” She asked, looking alarmed.

“Oh...no. I didn’t know that. That just happened with Thor, too...”

“Thor is here?” Now she was more alarmed.

“I Guess he hasn’t made that known yet...” I shrugged my shoulders.

“I think we need to see Shuri sooner than later, friend..” Nat motioned toward the door. I followed obediently. I was scared to think anything now. Not that I didn’t trust Natasha, but I didn’t know when or why I was projecting...

We reached the familiar medical and science bay, knocking quickly on the door. “Shuri!!!” Nat yelled through the door. “Hey we’re coming in!”

Natasha opened the door and saw Shuri speaking with T’Challa.

“My friends, welcome,” He gestured toward a seating area.

“This is my laboratory. I get to say welcome!!” Shuri almost whined. They both laughed. Their relationship is so sweet. It makes me want a brother. I would kind of have some if I would just keep it in my pants. I rolled my eyes at myself and then realized everyone was staring at me.

“Hey” Shuri said, chipper, trying to lighten the mood as always, “my bro can be yours, too! He’s taken. So he won‘t be trying any of that pants stuff!” She laughed. Everyone else looked horrified by the whole situation.

“So I assume I projected that thought as well, then...” I leaned back in the chair and closed my eyes. How about now? Can someone let me know if you’re hearing this? I thought, trying to purposefully project.

Nobody spoke. I sighed.

“So when I try to project, it hasn’t been working and apparently now when I am not, I’m just doing it?” I asked, and stated. I didn’t know.

Shuri nodded. “Did you just try?”

“Yes...”

“Then yeah...that’s what happening. But why?” She asked herself. She waved me and Nat over to follow her. “See you later, brother.” She kissed his cheek and he left.

“How long have I been doing this?” I asked, somewhat to myself but also to Natasha.

“Well, to be honest, on and off for a while. We just all thought you were...” she bit her lip. “remember when you were drunk and-”

“Yes, what about it?” I was exhausted now.

“We thought maybe you had a drinking problem you were hiding...after you and Thor ended things. And that’s why you were randomly projecting. But then Peter said during a meeting-”

“What meeting?” I asked, kind of hurt.

“We had a meeting...a few weeks after you and Pete started...anyway, um. In the meeting, nobody knew at that time that you had been seeing Peter. But he spoke up for you. He said you’d been spending time together-he said it was because he noticed you were sad-and that you hadn’t had a drop of alcohol. So then we all decided that something was up. We stopped sending you on bigger missions...” her tears pricked. “That’s when Steve talked to Bucky and Bucky talked to Shuri. And now we’re here...”

Tears escaped her eyes. Why is she crying? Nat doesn’t cry...

“Because Natasha cares about you. We all do, Y/N. And this isn’t normal for someone with you powers.” Shuri answered my projection.

I took a deep breath. “Ok, so now what?” I asked, concerned.

“Testing. Experimental activities. Anything to figure out what’s going on.” She patted the lab bed and Handed me some electromagnetic stickers with wires attached. “Head and heart please.” She motioned for me to take off my shirt.

I did as I was asked. My scars showed. The one thing I hated most about what happened. The scars. Shuri looked for a moment and then away from me, she shot me a nervous smile.

Nat rubbed my back as I sat, applying the stickers.

I feel like a child. And an alien. I hate this.

“This won’t take too long, y/n” Shuri reassured me. “I promise. And then you can sleep.”

“You’re not an alien. Or a child. We just want you better.” Natasha said softly. She’d be such a good mom; she’s so gentle and kind when she’s not kicking ass.

Both Natasha and Shuri laughed. “Very true. Nat is pretty awesome.” She winked at Nat. Nat’s smile faded and she sat in the chair Beside my bed.

Shit. I forgot. I’m sorry, Nat... I tried to project but it didn’t work.

When Shuri left for a moment I turned to Natasha. “I’m sorry, I forgot...and it was meant to be my own thought...” I looked at Nat with a pained look in my own eyes.

“It’s ok. I took it as a complement.” She smiled genuinely. “Plus, I feel like a mom 99% of the time with you all.” We laughed and then sat in silence.

After Shuri’s tests were done, Nat escorted me back to my room. “Are you sure you don’t want me to stay?” She insisted.

“No, I am ok. Just tired. Plus I don’t know if I will project my dreams and they can be pretty crazy..” I raised my eyebrows.

“Uh, I don’t know if you mean nightmares or sex dreams but I do NOT want to see you having sex with Peter. Or Thor. Or Bucky. Or-”

“I GET IT!” I tossed a small pillow at her and she laughed.

“Alright, get some sleep. I will see in the morning. I will meet you and Wanda at breakfast. Steve is going to spend some time with Bucky.”

I nodded and got undressed when she left the room. I laid out my pajamas and went to the bathroom to shower off and get ready for bed. As I walked out in my towel, Thor was sitting on the same chair Bucky had been in earlier.

“Can I help you” I acted like I wasn’t phased.

“Yeah I have a question.” Thor said, standing up, walking toward me.

What the fuck. “Ok?” I asked.

“What’s a cleat chaser?”

I just stood, hair dripping, confused as ever.

“When you projected in the hallway. You compared yourself to a cleat chaser. What is that?” He asked again.

“Oh, it’s like...people who sleep with baseball players. Like, typically a lot on one team, I guess.” Really, he’s going to come here and ask that?

“That isn’t the only reason I came.” He responded, lightly.

“Y/N...you didn’t ‘destroy’ your chance with me.” He acknowledged my projection from earlier, again. “I just want you to be happy. You can’t be happy with anyone until you get better. And I’m not talking about your powers. I’m talking about your heart. Your soul. Your emotions.” he spoke with such power and authenticity. “You think I ended things because I thought you were selfish. And I did say that. I said you were selfish and cruel. I have pondered on this for months.”

I listened. Trying to to think.

“I am Thor. I am the literal god of thunder. Son of Odin. And I am the selfish one. I did not bother to see how you’re cruelty toward me, or what I saw as cruelty was hurt. It was pain and suffering. It still is. And when I restated what you’d said to me, the night we first hooked up. You’d said it was to numb the pain. And as we progressed in our...relationship or whatever you want to call it. I couldn’t let it go. I was angry. And I brought it back up, after we went to your mother’s house; Odin bless her soul...I brought it up and spat it back out to you. That I was sleeping around to numb my own pain.”

He was very close to me now. I could feel the heat from his large body vibrating onto mine. His voice was soft but somehow still booming. I gripped my towel and swallowed the knot in my throat.

“I was in pain...I’m still in pain. And I understand now. You weren’t being selfish or cruel. You were feeling guilty, hurt, grieving, angry, sad, and alone. And instead of letting you feel those ways, I took them as you not wanting me. Not caring. Not putting me first.”

Thor was still talking but all I wanted to do was hug him.

“I thought I was supposed to be your priority. And I did up until last night..” He laid his hand gently on my cheek, rubbing it with his thumb. “Y/N. I know now, your priority cannot be someone else when you’re hurting. I know that because no matter how many women I lay with, no matter how many ales I drink, my mind goes back to you. I can’t make anyone else my priority when my pain, it‘s you. I love you.”

I burst into tears and just fell into his arms. He patted my head and then held me close to him. I sobbed and sobbed for what felt like hours but he just held me.

“Thor..” I sniffled. “Thor, I can’t express how much that means to me. All I wanted from you was that. To understand I don’t have the capacity to love someone right now. I don’t, even after two years, have the willpower to prioritize someone else. When I do... they hurt me or they fucking DIE.” I sobbed again. This time, doubled over. My knees hit the floor. Thor got on the floor with me for a moment and picked me up. He brought me to the bed and laid me down gently, under the covers.

“Thor, my pajamas...” I cried, holding my towel against me.

“One second...” he grabbed them and helped me put them on. I tried to cover up but it didn’t work.

“Oh stop. I‘ve seen it all before.” He smiled, looking away respectfully. “Yeah, not lately though.” I finished putting them on.

“True...” he smirked. We looked at one another for a moment. I broke the silence. “Thor, will you stay?”

He looked at me solemnly for just a second. “You know I can’t do that...” he tucked me in.

“But-”

“Y/N. I can’t do that,” he insisted.

“Why?” I nearly pouted.

“Because any time I am in the same bed as you.” he trailed off. “And I respect Peter now.”

I blushed. I forgot about Peter. Maybe I am just as cruel as Thor thought I was before. Maybe he’s wrong. I’m not hurting. I’m just mean.

“You’re not mean, Y/N.” He soothed. “You’re lost.”

He was right...but all I wanted was his mouth on mine. My mind went to the day we decided to walk to the creek near the compound.

We had made it to the creek, just in time for Thor to roughly push me up against a tree. I had worn a sundress in hopes he would take advantage of it. His hands roughly ripped down the straps, releasing my chest from its confines. His right hand massaged one as his his mouth attached to the other. My hands immediately latched to his hair, pulling lightly. I could hear his soft moans from the sensation. The vibration against my nipple made me moan myself. My head rested against the tree for a moment before he popped up and reached his hands up my dress.

He yanked my panties down and I stepped out of them. He picked them up and pocketed them.

I pulled his pants down about to his knees and then his boxer-briefs. His cock was at full attention and ready for me. Although my pussy was literally throbbing for him in that moment, my mouth was also drooling.

I pumped his shaft with my hand for a moment before taking him in my mouth. He had one hand on the tree, bracing himself, and one on the back of my head. He was encouraging me to let him go deeper. I allowed it, prompting a gag from myself. He moaned and thrusted again. As he started to take control, fucking my mouth, my hands busied themselves with his balls and one on his thigh to steady my own self.

“Just like that...you’re doing such a good job. Fuck your mouth is amazing.” His thrusts became unrhythmic. I knew that meant he was close to cumming so I shoved him out of my mouth.

“Hey!” He said.

I turned to face the tree, stood on my tippy toes and lifted up my sundress for him to see how much sucking his cock turned me on.

“Oh, damn...“ he groaned, lowly. I felt his tip against my slit, gathering the glistening slickness, preparing to enter me. I used my hands to prop myself against the tree. He entered me slowly, both of us sighing in pleasure.

He started thrusting immediately, not really giving me time to adjust. Although it was painful for a moment, my body gave way and I let out a loud, shaking moan. “Do you like that?” he cooed in my ear softly. “Be quiet or we’re going to be caught...” he thrusted harder, eliciting a louder moan from me.

He reached down for A moment and before I could figure out what he was doing, he shoved my panties in my mouth.

“Shut it,” he warned. His hands now gripped my hips and he railed into my cunt over and over again. My stomach tightened and my moans were snuffed out by my panties. My eyes started to roll backwards as he reached around, stroking my clit just how I liked.

“I am going to cum,” he warned me. As he spoke, his voice was like grit and it was low.

I came, my cunt spasming around him. He came quickly after that, filling me up, leaking down my thigh. He pulled out of me, and spun me around to kiss my lips. I had already pulled the panties out of my mouth. We shared a moment of making out and then he readjusted my straps. He pulled his pants up and used my panties to clean up my thighs and cunt, placing them back into his pocket.

“I still have those panties,” Thor said, interrupting my thoughts. “They’re washed. But I still have them...” his voice was low, just like it gets when he’s horny. I could see his pants were tighter. We locked eyes for a moment and then he turned around. And he left.

[chironshorseass]

“Just like in Star Wars?” for percabeth? interested to see what you do with that one!

I can’t seem to stop writing pre tlo percabeth. hmm maybe i just have A Thing for the pining.

read on ao3

Annabeth had always liked the arena.

She likes how it’s a place where she can be ruthless with no judgment. She likes the familiar feeling of sand crunching against sneakers, only to find it later on her socks, leaving an orange stain. Likes how the smell of sweat was one of hard work and perseverance. Where she can always let go, not worrying about camp problems or of the world dying, for just a moment.

Only her body and her knife. Skin glistening, straw flying from dummies.

Moving swiftly. Freely.

Sometimes, the arena truly does catch up with her. Like right now.

“Nice one, ‘Beth,” a deep voice calls, clapping one, two, three times.

Percy. Of course.

She didn’t notice that he’d been standing right behind her all this time. Panting hard, she turns to the sound of his voice.

He raises his eyebrows, eyeing the straw littered across the amber sand. “I think the dummies have a true fear for you.”

“I don’t think so. They’re dead by now.”

This is his way of asking for a truce, she knows.

It had been so long since she’d last seen him, until yesterday that is. His death is imminent, his friends count on him, her nightmares are breathed to life by the war...and all he’s done is leave the penalties aside to relax in New York City.

Just yesterday morning, they’d fought about it, like they always do nowadays. It’s only now that he’s trying to make amends, to lay a bandaid against the gaping wound of a prophecy bigger than both of them.

“I mean,” he says, scratching his curls. “They were already dead in the first place, so…”

“Are you challenging me to a duel?”

“When did I say that?”

“Well”—she spreads her arms, showcasing her destruction—“You’re criticizing my work, as though you could do better.”

He snorts, switching Riptide—in pen form—from his left hand to his right. A nervous habit of his. “So what if I am?”

“You’re kinda rusty now,” she says nonchalantly, taking satisfaction in the way his eyes darken like they always do whenever she challenges him. “You know...with all that time spent outside of camp.”

Percy sighs, shoulders slumped. The sight of him like this makes her feel a twinge of sympathy, but only a twinge.

“Look. I already said I’m sorry. I didn’t come here for you to tell me again—”

“It’s fine, Perce. I’m not that mad at you, anymore.”

“‘That mad?’” he repeats, an eyebrow raised. “Really?”

She rolls her eyes. “Yes, really. I let it all out with the straw dummies, see?”

“And who says that you won’t keep letting it out on me if we—hypothetically—spar?”

“Hmm. No promises.”

“‘Kay.” He shrugs. “I’m used to that, anyway.”

Annabeth could sense it now, his sarcastic wit. Sometimes, it was endearing, but other times...he could damn well use it against her. Like when they fought. Two magnets, polar opposites.

“Don’t tell me you’re scared, Seaweed Brain.”

His green eyes twinkle, the same way the sea reflects the morning rays of the sun. “Why should I be scared? We’re good at fighting.”

Silence.

Good at fighting about what? Good at fighting each other in every possible way.

His expression turns into a wince. “Sorry. I didn’t mean—”

“Whatever. Are you going to uncap Riptide or what?”

“Just like in Star Wars?” he asks, that cheeky grin spreading across his face again. “With the lightsaber thing or whatever?”

“Oh my gods, Percy, you’ve done this before—”

“But I always wanted to say that!”

“You’re so gonna lose.”

“In your dreams, Wise Girl.”

She wants to wipe that stupid smirk off his face. By kissing him or beating him, or maybe both.

And that’s when their dangerous dance begins.

Annabeth is the first to strike, followed by Percy blocking her knife, quicker than a hunting cheetah. Maybe he isn’t as rusty as she thought.

This changes nothing.

There’s a fire burning in his eyes, like lightning flashing by the sea. It’s too distracting, too hypnotizing, but she shakes it off and slashes, again and again. Mercilessly. Violently.

He returns the favor, and it's maddening how easily he can move with his sword, as though it were an extension to his arm, while simultaneously making her heart pound like a giant drum. And not just because of their fast-paced sparring.

“Glad to see,” she pants, “that you’ve been training.”

His sword glints in the fevered sun, and he has the nerve to laugh. “Chiron’s been keeping me busy around here.”

“No matter,” she says, blocking one especially rattling strike that she feels all the way to her bones. She closes the distance between them, partly because of her much smaller blade, and partly because she wants him to meet her eyes. “I’ll kick your ass, anyway.”

“Nice to know...” Another blow. “That you just wanted...to kick my ass.”

She comes at him again. “I’ve been wanting to kick your ass all week.”

They stay that way, fighting, long enough for some stragglers to keep watch. She hears the hum of demigods talking, probably about them, but she pays it no mind. It’s only her and Percy, celestial bronze clashing. Dust moves along with their feet, twirling around them in clouds.

Annabeth nearly misses his downward strike, too wrapped up in the way his shirt begins to cling to his skin, in the way his muscles flex and unflex to the rhythm of their fight.

She jumps back before she’s cleaved in two.

They're separated enough for her to catch her breath, but she doesn’t miss the smug look on Percy’s face. Even though he too, is huffing and puffing.

She glances up, noticing for the first time that they have an audience. Across the arena, Silena throws her a thumbs up while Clarisse shakes her head.

“Don’t be such a pussy!” she hollers to Annabeth. “Go get him!”

It’s enough to rile her up again. She turns to face Percy. He just grins.

“Getting tired?”

She exhales, blowing away a curl that had stuck to her forehead. “You wish.”

-

Her strike is the one that finally trips him up. Or maybe it’s her leg. But it’s no matter. Because Annabeth manages to disarm Percy, leaving him on his knees.

His face reflects light, like a shimmering pool, beautiful and mesmerizing. But she can’t think of that now. She presses her knife against his neck.

“Guess you beat me after all.”

“Yield,” is all she says.

She shifts her knife, lifting his chin up. The movement is sharp and quick, but there’s something powerful about it, the moment painted before her in a frozen orb. His Adam’s apple bobs up and down. Up and down.

She can’t look away, feeling everything and nothing at once.

His green green eyes are ablaze, locked with hers. He’s glowing, she’s sure of it. Her hands shake as she watches a bead of sweat settle across his collarbones, but she steadies her knife before it’s too late.

Strong and powerful. That’s what the campers have to say about him. And she doesn’t disagree with them. But then again...he’d surrendered to her. He’s beautiful this way, she decides.

I just want to be on good terms with you, he seems to say.

But the moment is gone as quickly as it began.

She finally hears the wolf whistling, the catcalls. Sighing, Annabeth lowers her knife and extends a hand. He accepts it, standing up way too close for her liking. From here, she can make out the smell of sweat coming off of him.

“Well played, Percy.”

He nods, that troublemaker smile tugging at his lips. Her stomach tumbles, not knowing what to make of it after what had happened.

His expression transforms into something else, though. It becomes one of those easy smiles that he shares with few people, where you get to glimpse a piece of his heart, just for a few seconds.

“Uh...it was nice doing this with you,” he says.

“You mean nearly killing each other?”

“You could say that. Or…” he looks down, then glances at her briefly, nervously. “Or just doing things with you. You make sparring all the more interesting.”

She shoves his shoulder lightly, and he laughs, breaking the tension.

“I’m glad I can be interesting to you.”

His eyes soften. “You’re more than that.”

She nods. Some things never change,

“Well, then...maybe think about training with me instead of Chiron. You know, since we’re so good at fighting.”

“Will do.”

“...See you tomorrow, then,” she says.

And before she can glimpse the look on his face, she vanishes into the crowd of onlookers.