#I’m really starting to think maybe the Disc Finale was actually not some big plot

[bleue-flora]

at least cpunz has cdream to comfort him if they feel bad about the ctommy and ctubbo stuff /j

[context] & [other context]

You joke but like…

Literally.

When clingy duo hurts them, they got eachothers’ backs. When clingy duo fails to see how cpunz could even be hurt, cdream is there with sandwiches to confront him…

‘I just don’t want to ever be excluded.'

(Side note, anyone ever notice how cdream says they are going to go listen to some music in that clip?… now that’s wholesome. What song do you think they go listen to? Cat? Mellohi? Pigstep? Maybe one of the discs he got from cTommy?………. ya know it’s crazy that the villain also just likes to vibe with his best friend and listen to some discs… almost like he’s just some guy or something…)

[findingjoynweirdstuff]

Dream SMP Recap (March 1/2021) - Breaking Point

Sam has been unable to find a cause for the security breach, leaving Tommy trapped. A heated argument in the cell escalates to a horrifying end.

As the rest of server mourns, the Eggpire celebrates. With their biggest obstacle in the way of their objective gone, it’s time for the next step.

It’s the start of the Final Stage.

---

VOD LINKS:

HBomb94

Ponk

Tommy

Tubbo

Ranboo

Jack Manifold

Connor

Badboyhalo

Captain Puffy

---

- HBomb hosts Foolish and Jack Manifold’s episode of L’Cast!

---

The Prison Stream

(This portion of the recap will be more detailed than normal since it’s one long conversation and there are many important lines here, including a couple that were hard to hear during the stream)

---

- Tommy’s stream starts with him making sounds and singing “Roadtrip.” Dream tells him to stop, he’s trying to write a book.

Tommy: “What are you writing, Dream? What are you writing?”

Dream: “None of your business.”

- There’s a little gray and white cat sat on the chest. Tommy says it’s annoying.

Dream: “No he’s not...he’s actually the best thing that’s happened to us.”

Tommy: (Trying to lead the cat away) “Come with me, come with me...you know what I named him, don’t you? Pussboy, Pussboy!”

- The cat returns to its spot on the chest

Tommy: “Oh, Pussboy, you are so ugly.”

Dream: “C’mon, you’re being mean!”

(Tommy punches the cat)

Dream: “Tommy! Stop!”

- Tommy starts singing “Roadtrip” in autotune. Dream tells Tommy that if he can be quiet, he’ll give Tommy more potatoes.

Dream: “I think that...the cat is the best thing that’s happened to us.”

- Sam joins the call to say hello and ask how it’s been going. He’s come to drop more food into the cell. Tommy also picks up a new clock.

- Tommy asks to be let out, but Sam says he still hasn’t found out what the security issue is. Dream asks how long Tommy will be in here for. Potentially for a while, but not forever.

- Tommy protests about how bad the prison has been. He threatens to get lawyers on Sam, he knows Big Law.

Tommy: "Sam...you know I don’t deal very well in...close quarters situations for a long time, Sam. Sam, you remember when you visited me in exile, Sam? Alright, this is worse than that, Sam...let me out. I don’t like this. Let. Me. Out. Sam.”

- Sam insists he’s doing the best he can and leaves.

- Dream tries to say that it’s not that bad. He’s been in there for a long time, but now it’s better! Tommy writes a book to Dream, signs it and throws it to him.

Dream: “I have company. I have a cat -- I mean, technically it’s not my cat, technically it’s your cat, but still! It’s just as good, keeps me company when I write and everything, we talk sometimes -- ‘cause you’re annoying a lot of the time--”

- Dream throws away the clock in the lava, saying they don’t need it. Tommy punches the cat again.

Dream: “Tommy, hear me out, hear me out...what if...we get out together, okay?”

- Tommy is not a fan of the idea, Dream shouldn’t be let out too. He goes over to the cat and shouts at it for being in his spot. He punches Pussboy twice.

Dream: “Tommy...TOMMY, STOP!”

Tommy: “Excuse me! Come this way, come this way, excuse me Dream I’m trying to right-click Pussboy--”

(Dream moves to get in front of the cat)

Dream: “Tommy.”

Tommy: “Come here, come here! Do you like this cat, Dream?”

Dream: “Yes, I do.”

Tommy: “Why?”

Dream: “Because he -- Tommy, he keeps me company --”

(Tommy punches Pussboy again and leads him towards the lava)

Tommy: “Pussboy, this way. Pussboy, this way. Let me show you the light--”

Dream: “He’s probably low, he’s probably low!”

Tommy: “Oh what, you love him? Do you love him? Do you love him?”

Dream: “Yes, I do...Tommy, he’s made things better in here -- okay listen! When you leave, can you sit him down and leave him here?”

(Tommy goes over and punches Pussboy again. He tries to lead Pussboy away again, but when the cat doesn’t come he punches Pussboy twice more, killing him)

Tommy: “Yeah. And that’s what happens when you love something, bitch.”

...

Tommy: “See, now when I leave, when I leave, you’ll have nothing! ‘Cause you are lonely, and you’re m-m-manipulative, you’re a fuckin’ twat, and I mean that.”

Dream: “Tommy...I’m gonna get out! And you just motivated me -- you motivated me all the time, you just -- that was hope, right? The cat was hope -- the cat was hope that I could live a nice life in here--”

Tommy: “And now it’s dead, now it’s dead.”

- Dream insists that he’ll get out, and when he does, he’ll get his revenge on everyone who wronged him. Tommy asks if he’d kill Tubbo. 

- The subject goes back to Dream’s plan of escape.

Dream: “I have a plan. And the thing is, Awesamdude’s never gonna believe you that I have a plan because he thinks it’s unbreakable, unescapable--”

“I have a plan. And you know, there’s a certain someone who owes me a favor, but -- that might be a part of it, but...I do have a plan.”

- They argue about the conditions of the prison again. 

Dream: “I’ve been in here a for hundred times longer than you, and you sit there trying to tell me that it’s so horrible, that it’s so bad -- yeah, it was! But guess what, we have each other to talk to, and we had a cat until you fucking killed it!”

Tommy: “Dream...Dream, and listen to this -- fucking engrave this on you, write this into your arms, Dream...You don’t have me. You’ll never have me. We don’t have each other, alright? I am me, and you are this fuckin’ loser who goes around manipulating people, lying to get what he wants. You are a fuckin’ no one, man, alright? And when I’m going to leave here, you’re not! You might have a favor -- you think, who is it, Technoblade’s gonna be able to come in here to let you out -- Technoblade, he doesn’t like governments, but he likes self gain! You think he wants to piss off the owner of the most POWERFUL building on the entire server, just so that he can get a video that BARELY scrapes the five million view mark -- NO, Dream, alright? You’re a fuckin’ asshole, you’re deluded, you’re delusional, and I fuckin’ hate you.”

Dream: “Okay...yeah, but I have something Techno would want, so...it means knowledge, alright?”

- Dream says that even when he’s in here, he’s more powerful than Tommy outside. Tommy replies that if he wanted to, he could kill Dream right now. The only reason he doesn’t is because they need the revive book.

- Dream says that he will never use the revive book to help Tommy or his friends. Ever.

Dream: “So kill me. Go ahead, come on.”

- When if Tubbo dies, Dream says, they’ll come begging for Tubbo to be revived, and Dream will ask to be let out.

- Tommy then says that this isn’t worse than exile, because in exile, Tommy thought Dream had all the power, and Tommy knows something...he thinks the revive book isn’t real. Jschlatt was just a drunk, why would he have this book?

Dream: “Jschlatt gave me the book -- why else would I switch to Jschlatt’s side?!”

...

“I’m not lying! Jschlatt gave me a revive book after...before he died....because...he said--” (he cuts off here)

- Dream asks why he would be lying about that.

Tommy: “You’re a liar! You’re a liar, and really, through your Netherite armor and skin, I look at you and you know what I see? I see a sad little man who’s insecure about the fact that this server has gotten so far ahead of him that his only little glimpse of power in this world is gone. And I see an insecure, sad little man. So fuck off. You stupid green lad.”

Dream: “Your life...is literally in my hands. Does that piss you off? Does that make you mad? Does that make you so mad that I -- if you kill me -- I MIGHT AS WELL BE A GOD, TOMMY! YOU CAN’T KILL ME, AND I CAN KILL YOU! So what does it mean, that you can’t kill me because of the revive book -- what does that mean? If you can’t kill me, does that make me some kind of god?”

Tommy: “No Dream. I could kill you right now. If I wanted to.”

Dream: “Okay. But you won’t. But you won’t! I could kill you if I wanted to! I could kill you right now, actually.”

...

Tommy: “I don’t think this revive book is real. Schlatt? He’s fuckin’ dead. I’ve seen his grave! His grave is real, his corpse is there!”

Dream: “Okay...Why don’t you go see him then?”

Tommy: “NO -- stop it stop it stop it st--”

--- ---

CANON DEATH: TOMMY

Cause: Punched to death

--- ---

End of stream.

---

- Tubbo, Ranboo and Jack see Tommy’s death message in game chat.

- They go to the prison and Sam is there to tell them what happened. Sam couldn’t get there in time. He didn’t think Dream would actually kill him. They’re all in shock. 

- Tubbo and Ranboo think Tommy will be back. There’s no way he’s actually dead, right? 

- Jack Manifold is in celebration. He got what he wanted! He thought Dream would want Tommy alive, and killing Tommy himself would be an extra jab in the chest for Dream, but apparently not? And now he has a hotel!

- He decides to check on Tubbo and makes sure he’s okay. 

- Jack walks down to the shore and looks up at the prison, and...it hits him. He’s spent months plotting to kill Tommy. Jack realizes his victory feels hollow. Even now, Tommy and Dream have managed to take away this from him. 

- Of Ze Haus, he says that this place no longer means anything to him. He gets a flint and steel and sets it alight, watching it burn.

- He passes by Tommy’s house and finds Ranboo planting red and white flowers outside.

- Jack switches into his L’manburg uniform and walks along the Prime Path.

Jack: “I remember the day I joined the server. The day after the first war. L’manburg was still a big hole, and we built it up. And Tommy invited me to join. And I betrayed him (laughs), so really this has all come full circle.”

“Maybe I was always really just upset because I always felt like he cared more about the discs than...anyone. And I guess I just enjoyed it when we were friends...and...I’ve not really had any friends...since...then, really. Never really wanted any.”

- Jack later speaks with Foolish and tells him that Tommy’s never coming back from prison. Foolish didn’t know him too well, but he’s still a bit sad. When anyone passes, it’s sad.

- Jack heads back out into the wilderness, wandering to the beach area at the edge of the forest where Quackity had his argument with Badboyhalo a while back. There’s something just beyond the hill.

- Quackity meets him there and escorts him back home, telling him he was heading too close to something, could have gotten “a nice view of it.”

- He’s been thinking of writing up a draft of their contract. He also sees the new McPuffy’s.

- Jack tells Quackity that Tommy’s not in the prison anymore. Quackity says they need to talk to him and make sure Jack keeps his hotel. As the rain pours, Jack tells him. Tommy didn’t make it.

- Quackity and Jack have a moment in front of Tommy’s house. Though upset, Quackity says it’s time to get back to work.

Quackity: “Jack...don’t let this affect business. The train doesn’t stop.”

Jack: “No, it only goes faster.”

- Jack also speaks with Antfrost. Antfrost gives his condolences, and says he’ll put together a celebration “of life.”

Ant: “Bad and Sam will be happy...to attend, of course!”

- Afterwards, Jack heads down into Karls nightclub and ends stream there.

- Connor speaks with Sam Nook at the hotel.

- Bad meets Ant at the Holy Land. Ant asks if the church would be a good place for a celebration. Ant sits Bad down to tell him. Bad is overjoyed. 

- Bad says that now, they don’t even have to do any preparations: 

They can move into the Final Stage.

- They get milk for the cake and decide to throw the party at Tommy’s house!

- They meet with Sam at the prison entrance. He sounds dejected.

Sam: “I didn’t think Dream would ever actually...try and kill him”

Bad: (laughs) “Is this the same Dream we’re talking about? It’s Dream, Sam.”

Sam: “I mean...Dream had...I thought I had...broken the will out of him, to do something like that. But he...he did.”

- He says they need to find out what it was -- he wandered around the prison several times and couldn’t find any sign that someone had done something.

- Ant and Bad try to reassure Sam that Tommy signed the waivers, he went to see Dream, and Sam shouldn’t blame himself. Sam doesn’t see it that way.

- They say they’ll talk to Sam later and leave the prison. They see Sam Nook at the hotel. Sam is excited about the new upgrades for the hotel! Tommy will be so excited to see them!

- They return to Tommy’s house and speak with Punz as they make a party floor and sing the Crab Rave song in dudududus.

- Meanwhile, Captain Puffy is grieving, feeling like she failed Tommy. As she logs on, Bad and Ant decide that Puffy might want to join them for the party! 

- Punz meets them there, and they tell him that Tommy’s dead. Punz isn’t sure how he feels, it’s bittersweet.

- Puffy arrives and angrily tells them to leave. What’s wrong with them?!

- The Eggpire sees Sam Nook at the hotel and goes up the floors to find a place to party. Puffy comes up and tells them to find another place to party. They argue again.

- Foolish arrives to visit his room in the hotel. Puffy leaves them. They quarrel about who has the room for the night.

- Puffy mines down the Eggpire’s meeting room. She’s noticed that being a hero hasn’t worked. Sparing people, being merciful, it hasn’t worked. She might need a change of perspective. 

- The Eggpire decides to visit the Egg and break the news to it. They see the wreckage, but Puffy is in the Nether by the time they get there.

- Puffy visits Logsted.

- The Eggpire goes down to the Egg Room and finds the pathway blocked up with obsidian...is this why the Vines have been slower to grow lately?

- They break the barrier and find the Egg drenched in water. They wake up the Egg and it speaks.

“This world is mine. It belongs to me.”

“No no no, I know, but we’ve got something to tell you!”

“I see all...I...am...all...”

“Oh so you--”

“I know all.”

“You know then! Guess -- well, we’ll tell you anyway in case you don’t know -- but guess what? Tommy’s dead! Dream -- the green guy, you met him -- killed him in the prison! I guess Tommy got stuck there, and Dream killed him! Are you happy?"

“Feed me...I require nourishment.”

“No no no, don’t worry -- that’s coming soon! We’ll take care of that! We’re already gonna begin the preparations, right guys? Yeah, we’re gonna begin the preparations, and we’ll send out the invitations, we’ll let everyone know...and the final stage can commence! This is wonderful!”

- Once on the surface, Bad announces that with a little more preparation, they’ll all get exactly what they want. The final stage is about to commence. 

The day of celebrations, the day they’ve been preparing for, the day the Egg has been preparing for, is about to happen...

- Bad goes down to the Egg Room one last time and stands at the Egg to give a final speech.

“Everything leading up to this point, EVERYTHING, all the way going back to the discovery of this...beautiful, luxurious Egg, okay...we had it all planned. As soon as we found it, we knew what was gonna happen. We knew the objective...”

“We may have forgotten what it was, forgotten the ultimate goal as soon as we boxed the Egg up in obsidian. But guess what -- that didn’t stop the Egg! Boxing it up only made it STRONGER, and LARGER, and more powerful! And the Egg’s been storing up that energy, okay? You may have been thinking the Vines have not been spreading...but that’s because we haven’t WANTED them to spread. We have been working, storing energy, storing power...in preparation for the final plan. The final objective. And there were only a couple people getting in the way. But guess what? One of the biggest obstacles -- Tommy -- is no longer in the way...now that he’s not in the way, we can commence with the final stage...the final party...before it all comes to a conclusion...”

“Brace yourselves...everybody on this server, prepare. Anyone who is anti-Egg...you guys better get ready, because we know who you are. And at the end of the day, the Egg is gonna be victorious. And there’s nothing ANYBODY can do to stop it.”

“Good luck.”

[lucemferto]

Hey girl, don’t mind me, I just quickly went and rewrote Dream SMP Season 2.

I’m focusing on the big plot stuff from Season 2, which makes it really easy for me to make it good, because I don’t have to contend with all the hard parts like dialogue and scene pacing and stuff. As an additional challenge to myself, I try to change as little as possible. If I don’t mention stuff (like the Egg-Arc) then that means I’m fine with them the way they are.

I wrote this in an hour, so don't expect it to be good, pls.

Whether you agree or think this is trash, I'd be so interested to hear your thoughts!

ACT I

Fundy’s early arc with Ghostbur, Eret and Phil is great and should stay the way it is. It sets up the character relationships and potential for conflict that we can explore in the future.

Similarly, I wouldn’t change too much about the conflict during Exile with one exception: Both Tommy and Quackity don’t want to include Technoblade. Instead, they believe that they can take one Dream by themselves – this is important for Techno’s, Tommy’s and Quackity’s personal journey later on. In this rewrite, Quackity also didn’t found El Rapids, but instead recruited George & Sapnap to L’Manburg – because his stated goal is to make L’Manburg the strongest nation on the server, so why would he make a rival nation with a plotline that goes nowhere?

What’s also important is that it’s revealed that Dream has a spy in L’Manburg around here. Maybe Tommy confessed his burning of George’s house during a cabinet meeting and word still got out to Dream. Who knows, but it’s important for later.

Something big that I would change about this Act I is that I would give Techno an actual B-plot. As it stands, Techno’s early plotline was just “Grrr, I’m angry that Tommy would use me like that! Someone killed my cows and robbed me! L’Manburg will know my wrath”

3 weeks later

“Nevermind, I’m a pacifist now and live in the arctic”

Instead, we pick up where S1 left off. Techno is intent on destroying L’Manburg and instituting anarchy. During that time, he comes into conflict with Quackity’s henchmen (Fundy, George, Sapnap, etc.) to establish that L’Manburg could be an actual threat to him.

We also have some conflict with Phil. They’re old war buddies, but Phil’s son built L’Manburg and Phil himself is unofficially Tubbo’s advisor. I think them reconstituting their friendship will take up this early part until Tommy’s exile – it makes for a nice foil to Tommy’s and Tubbo’s friendship falling apart.

Technoblade also tries to recruit people like HBomb and Niki to his cause, but they’re hesitant, because, you know, he sent Withers to destroy their home. Not the best first impression. Techno is hurt, but convinced it’s because of L’Manburg propaganda and they don’t want to work with him, because they don’t see him as useful.

ACT II Part 1

Exile-Arc basically stays exactly the same – with one notable difference. When Technoblade comes to visit Tommy it’s not to mock him – it’s as a final attempt to convince Tommy to join him. It’s a first culmination of Techno’s character journey so far: His previous interactions with the citizenry of L’Manburg has left him shaken, but not shaken enough.

Tommy truly does need “The Blade” right now and he has no reason to further believe L’Manburg’s propaganda. So, by Technoblade’s inner logic, Tommy should accept.

But he doesn’t. Tommy viciously rips into Technoblade and gets very personal (he’s in a bad space, understandably) – Techno can play it off nonchalantly, but either the cinematography or some later moment shows us that he was hurt by this.

Nevertheless, he gives Tommy a compass that points to his HQ, showing us that he cares about Tommy, like he did during their early days in Pogtopia.

This is where we implement some big changes. The story of Technoblade and the Butcher Army becomes the A-plot, while the Exile becomes the B-plot.

It makes perfect sense. The Exile-Arc is a very inward-focused, almost a character study of Tommy and Dream. It doesn’t have a lot of big narrative movement – so the perfect time to execute on that narrative movement in the storyline that has a lot of moving pieces.

So, after Tommy chewed him out, Techno is hurt and meets with Philza. Techno then explains that for him anarchy always was the natural order of things – to fight for a world where only the strongest survive – but pursuing anarchy like that has left him empty. Philza then explains that anarchy should be more about helping people and building an equal community.

We’re all but stating a major thematic conflict of this storyline: Fighting those who wronged you vs. Helping those in need. All this while also exploring the philosophy of anarchy with Techno and Philza serving as symbolic stand-ins for some different thoughts on the matter.

So, while Tommy’s Exile is going on, Techno refines his approach. This goes hand in hand with Quackity using his henchman to turn L’Manburg into a totalitarian police state in order to root out Dream’s traitor (told you it would become important later).

This will be the main conflict here in the first half of Act 2. Quackity and Philza will play shoulder-devil and shoulder-angel respectively for Tubbo and Fundy, pulling them in different directions. Ghostbur also hangs around L’Manburg – a constant reminder for Tubbo of the most sanitized version of President Wilbur and the lofty ideas he stood for.

This is another big thematic conflict for this storyline – externalized in part through Ghostbur’s presence: When do the ends no longer justify the means? It also feeds into the motif of Tubbo and Tommy becoming like Schlatt and Wilbur respectively (even if that’s still mostly superficial).

During this political turmoil, Niki is getting into Quackity’s crosshairs. She opposes his policing and brutal methods. So Quackity really focuses in on her and she has to live with constant surveillance, searches, etc. Niki tries to talk to Tubbo about this, but he says it’s necessary to keep L’Manburg safe. Slowly, Niki grows disillusioned with L’Manburg.

It is during this time that Niki gets into contact with Techno and the two start to form a bond and helping the citizenry hold out hope during this time (I don’t know who would be the citizenry, probably people that don’t have their own storyline going on such as HBomb, Vikkstar, Lazarbeam, etc.)

And we can have a few lorestreams like that, where the conceit is that Techno’s sneaking into L’Manburg to help people and there’s actual tension.

All this culminates in Hog Hunt. Fundy sees Phil, Niki and Techno team-up. He confronts them after Techno left and Phil begs Fundy to not out them – but their divide has grown too deep (and we’ve actually shown that during Fundy’s streams this time).

Quackity has Phil and Niki incarcerated (L’Manburg has a prison now, it’s not as good as Pandora’s Vualt). Tubbo is deeply disturbed that Philza and Niki would betray him by working with the man that took one of his canon lives and finally gives the Butcher Army his presidential approval. Quackity was already prepared and the events of Hog Hunt play out as we know them.

ACT II Part 2

Again, plays out relatively similarly, except for one major difference: Tommy comes to Techno with the explicit purpose of asking for his help. Exile has left him really hardened, probably more so than we have currently.

This would a.) make Tommy a bit more proactive in his partnership with Techno and b.) actually gives some weight to Techno’s later beef with Tommy, because now it’s based on more than just some flimsy phrasing during S1.

Otherwise, this plays out relatively similarly – Techno and Tommy maybe share a few more character moments, just to drive home that Techno cares about Tommy. Also, none of that dumb keeping it a secret whether or not we destroy L’Manburg – that’s some contrived nonsense and I hate it.

Tommy knows that Techno wants to destroy L’Manburg and while he’s conflicted, he ultimately goes along with. Once he gets his discs back, everything will be over after all. The destruction of L’Manburg will have been worth it.

Part of the rising action will be breaking Phil and Niki out of prison instead of the petty bullshit about Techno’s items that he doesn’t need. This is where we have the initial confrontation between Tommy and Tubbo (and Techno doesn’t ruin the moment by being his worst self).

Other plot points include: Techno receives the Wither Skulls over the course of him and Tommy working together by some mysterious benefactor. This is after he and Tommy confronted Dream. He doesn’t tell Tommy who the benefactor is, even though he knows (spoilers: it’s Dream).

Meanwhile, Tommy, Techno, Niki and Phil are secretly rigging New L’Manburg with TNT a la Wilbur, just to really drive that comparison home. Niki is getting really angry; she has suffered enough and she’s really gonna get revenge.

One of her big moments of terrorism before the Green Festival is burning down the L’Mantree (maybe we can include some character conflict Fundy, so we have these two people who were once really close friends now so warped and torn apart by these two sides at war).

Meanwhile, Quackity has figured out that Ranboo was the traitor and is pushing for Tubbo to execute Ranboo for the greater good of L’Manburg. Tubbo is hesitant, but as there’s no moderate voice in the cabinet anymore, he concedes to the idea.

Finally, the Green Festival is here. This part is really … tough to rewrite, because you have to accommodate so many different character arcs, but I’ll try my best.

In a move not unlike during the Red Festival, Ranboo is revealed as the traitor and put in the execution cage (because those parallels). Tubbo feels really bad about it.

This is when Tommy and Techno start their assault and unleash the whithers. L’Manburg is under attack and we have the big fight between Tubbo and Tommy. We get the big shout-out “The discs were worth more than you ever were” and the ensuing epiphany on Tommy part.

Techno’s calling for him to explode the TNT, but he doesn’t do it.

Quackity is calling for Tubbo to execute Ranboo, but Tubbo has an epiphany himself and refuses. Both their personal conflicts are resolved here. Also, we have some nice parallelism between Quackity and Techno as Tubbo’s and Tommy’s respective bad influences.

Techno – understandably this time – feels betrayed and hurt. He and Tommy have their shouting match. Quackity tries to attack Techno, but during their match they accidentally trigger the TNT. Quackity’s hunger for power has created the grave of his ambitions.

(Niki is also pissed at Tommy and Fundy is fully distraught, because L’Manburg was everything he had left from Wilbur).

Dream steps out of the shadows and reveals that he was Techno’s mysterious benefactor. He gets his hands on the second disc and gloats to Tommy. The scene from Doomsday plays out only that Techno shows some stings of remorse for helping Dream accomplish what he wanted. (Quackity flees the ensuing chaos).

Dream tries to goad Tommy with the discs, but Tommy doesn’t bite, because he has resolved his Want vs. Need now. Dream is frustrated, but retreats for now.

ACT III

In the aftermath of ACT II, I think it’s very important to hammer home that this wasn’t a win for Techno, Niki or Phil. For that to work I think it’s important to make clear that Tommy’s and Techno’s bond was genuine and that they really cared for each other during the Bedrock Bros thing. Neither of them is happy for how this turned.

Niki is plagued by nightmares and sleeps in a prison cell like in the current canon. She stands in symbolic for the emptiness that vengeance brings. Phil is shaken from his talk to Ghostbur and he’s the one who brings up that maybe what they did wasn’t for the best.

Then Techno and Phil have a discussion about the nature of anarchy again, calling back to that earlier conversation at the beginning of Act 2. Techno also feels empty – his vengeance and the destruction he wrought left him no happier.

Meanwhile, Punz and Tommy are actually spending some quality bonding time. Thanks to the medium, they could simulate that pretty well. Punz actually gets attached and when Dream mentions his coup-de-grâce, the cinematography shows that Punz isn’t too happy about it.

Tommy and Tubbo prepare to fight Dream on their own terms. They know, they have to stop him lest he hurts the people they care about (this makes both of them a bit more proactive in the finale). Punz (as per Dream’s orders) tells Tommy where Dream is hiding. Tommy thanks him, oblivious that Punz is a traitor, but Punz feels bad. He has grown attached to Tommy.

During the Final Disc War we actually get two perspectives: One is Tommy’s and Tubbo’s as we know it (only without the constant “Your discs or Tubbo”-stuff) and the other is Punz’s. He has decided to help Tommy even though there’s nothing monetarily in it for him.

First, he goes to Quackity, but Quackity says that Tommy has betrayed him and L’Manburg and that he gets what’s coming to him.

In a last-ditch effort, he goes to Techno. Here’s where we resolve that thematic conflict (Vengeance vs. Charity) for the Techno-Butcher Army storyline: Quackity has chosen to perpetuate the cycle of vengeance (because he will be the villain in S3), but we want some nice character development for Techno.

Niki is against it and stays put, but Techno and Philza ultimately decide to go with Punz and the others to help Tommy.

Finale plays out the same. Stuff’s still awkward between Techno and Tommy/Tubbo; they haven’t resolved all their problems, but it’s a first step. Some good set-up for S3.

And that’s my basic rewrite. It’s long and probably not the best.

[hamphobicbasil]

Could u elaborate about the dsmp story being bad? Not a rabid/brain dead fan, just genuinely curious and I enjoy reading people's rants lolol

oh you dont know the floodgates you just opened

a few things:

1. despite not liking the creators of the dsmp anymore, I don't actually hate most of them. [the ones that are particularly unsavory fall outside of this of course] so all that I'm saying i truly mean in a critical sense towards the story, its also just all purely my opinion as someone who enjoys fictional and fantasy stories and who like criticizing works to see what it does well and what it doesn't do well

2. for clarification I'm going to use the c![name] to indicate when I'm talking about the characters. Don't get me wrong, I think its annoying too but its the only way I'm gonna be able to write this thing without getting something across the wrong way yknow?

3. I stopped watching the streams after November 16th, [save for one Techno one but I closed out after a particularly bad story beat lol] and so all information coming afterward is all second hand from either me seeing people on twt talk abt it or people dming me. All i really know is up to dream's imprisonment and some stuff past that.

4. This is mostly aimed towards the "main" story, so stuff abt the badlands, eggpire, and whatnot are briefly mentioned.

anyways uh, i'll try to be brief but also include enough information to get why i feel the way i do on some stuff across

A. Performances Alright obviously these people are all streamers, so obviously they might not be the best actors, and hell no one is even asking that of them. However, when you're telling a story that's based on the audio with the visuals kinda coming to a second, it's gotta be pretty strong. I will say, some of the best actors in my opinion are Wilbur, Tommy, and Tubbo. I would include Ranboo but I never watched any of his story bits or story streams so I can't say much. Wilbur and Tommy are excellent in selling their character's emotions and feelings, when I watch the stream I don't feel like I'm watching an rp but an actual thought-out story yknow? And one of my favorite Tubbo examples was in the Hog Hunt video whenever Techno attacked him, he sounded genuinely afraid and I believed everything his character was feeling.

However, unfortunately, not everyone is gonna be that good. And I'm gonna say it; Dream and Techno have to be the worst out of the entire cast. I understand Techno's whole character is this monotoned badass, however, when really emotional moments hit I feel like he never lets that fall, and a lot of intense moments just ring hollow. And I'm sorry but Dream's attempts at being intimidating leave me laughing whenever I watch them. It feels like he watched that one scene from The Marriage with Adam Driver and Scarlett Johannson and said "Oh this is what good acting looks like! Just yelling." His whole "I don't give a FUCK about Spirit!" speech isn't as great as people keep making it out to be. And whenever he tries to act coy when being a villain it feels like a guy reading the script for the first time, a bit like he's trying too hard. I have more problems with his character but his portrayal certainly doesn't help.

Everyone else is fine, and I don't feel strongly either way about a lot of them.

B. The "Lore" Okay first off, I can't be the only one who thinks it's silly that people are calling the dsmp's story "lore" when it's not, it's the fucking story. Lore indicates backstory to either the world or the characters, which a lot of the streams don't really pertain to. This is a really petty section but god it's a weird pet peeve of mine.

Other than the misusage of "lore" vs "story", the actual lore and world-building of the world are so lackluster that new elements can be introduced whenever and it often feels cluttered or not well thought out at all. And here's the thing, I feel like if the writers sat down just for a few minutes to establish world rules and general history, a lot of this could be solved! but so much is made up on the spot that it starts to feel like they're grabbing at straws to keep people invested, trying to reach that next high and intense story beat without actually earning it.

C. The Egg / Eggpire This is a pretty minor note since I was only invested in the Egg storyline for a little bit, but god it's so underused that it's almost embarrassing. Bad has provided this super interesting antagonistic force that's infecting the SMP, can control people, and who one of our main character is immune to, and it's just never used or even talked about again? Now I understand if he wanted to keep it to a side storyline only, however, to introduce this borderline eldritch creature and force within the world and then never have it dealt with is so weird.

D. The Writing Oh boy this is. kinda a big one. Now I'm not gonna lie, it's pretty obvious I have a bias for the Wilbur writing over the current team [that consisting of Dream, Quackity, and Tommy mostly]. I don't this his writing is perfect by any means, the characters constantly bringing up traitors got obnoxious after a while, and writing Hamilton but in Minecraft really isn't the modern Shakespeare or anything. However, I think his exploration of characters and plot progression was a lot more thought out and well planned, like he actually had two brain cells behind the story yknow? The current team I think fails to be as emotional or even impactful, things happened too fast and my god was everything drowned in angst for so long.

Don't get me wrong, you gotta have your characters face hardships to make them reach their goal believable, but some of the shit they put the characters through just felt like too much. From c!Tubbo's constant comparison to c!Schlatt [who btw, fucking ordered his death and kept him from his friends in a nation he felt trapped in] and on a side note, i kinda really fucking dislike the "c!Schlatt dad!!" au's or the au's where c!Tubbo inherits some of Schlatt's features, it would be like c!Tommy getting a c!Dream mask after his exile, it's feels so weird yet people eat that shit up for some reason.

But god, did c!Tommy get the brunt of it all and in retrospect after his final death, it kinda feels really fucking gross. Now obviously, I'm not trusting any of these people to write decent mental health representation, but c!Tommy's PTSD and how it was explored was just degrading. [Specifically the scene in that one Techno stream where he saw the final control room from the first war, and had a flashback / panic attack where he started calling out for c!Dream. I understand this is an actual thing people with PTSD will experience, but it felt so fucking stereotypical it got on my nerves. I actually had to close out of the stream because it made me feel sick, fiction shouldn't leave you feeling that way.] And don't get me started on how they basically reused the formula from the previous arc. [Problem introduced -> Tensions rise as things start to fall apart -> Big confrontation -> Exile -> Return from Exile -> Blowing up L'Manberg, again.]

And speaking of characters-

E. Character Arcs, or the lack of them In my genuine opinion, some of these characters' arcs are so disappointing. Especially c!Tommy's. I'm not one to believe that he was a "selfish" character or anything, however, his goals were simply set on his discs and maybe c!Tubbo, he didn't have much outside that. However, L'Manberg gave him something to care about, he gave up his discs for it and he fought for it tooth and nail, I think it taught him to open up to others and trust more. It was a great character arc for him to have, seeing him still fight even after his first exile alongside c!Wilbur, to return safely to the nation that he and his found family had built.

But then his second exile happened, and I feel like all of that was undone.

c!Tommy's exile genuinely pisses me off for so many reasons. It's not that characters can't have their low points after reaching a major change or feeling like they've "completed" their arcs or anything, but it's more of the fact that it seems like he's never going to heal that feels like a spit in the face, especially to people who might have had setbacks like that before. Progress isn't linear, sometimes things happen and you get knocked back down, it can take a while to get back up, but I don't think c!Tommy's character is ever going to be allowed to get back up. From c!Dream, who pretty much was a constant abuser in his life, killing him then reviving him, and his still fractured relationship with c!Tubbo, which by the way I have a had time believing they would still be friends after all that happened, it feels like he can never get a win and it's generally kinda a shit way to treat your characters who have been abused. Of course, not all abused characters are going to get happy endings, I'm not trying to dictate that they all should, but c!Tommy deserves one and the fact that it's so obscure feels shitty.

Side note: we still don't have a canon reason to give a shit abt the discs. Like I'm sorry but without some sorta connection to the MacGuffin why should we give a shit about him getting them other than "he wants them lol". Like hell, I would even accept the classic "they were the last gifts from his parents" or something, but we still don't have a reason.

c!Tubbo also lacks a fulfilling arc as well, from someone who started out as a yes man, he has progressed a bit into having his own interests first, but besides that sometimes his character makes me so. depressed. He's easily one of the most pushed around and hated characters within the story, all for being a kid who didn't know what to do and he's in the same vein as c!Tommy; these kids can't get a break. Also, his anti-violence beliefs morphing into the "lets kill c!Techno lol!" bit was so out of place and without proper build-up it was like. what. And now he's building nukes?? god c!Tubbo makes me so sad because he's kicked around constantly and never given a chance to grow.

Another small note, I also don't really enjoy c!Techno at all. Besides the previously stated reasons of lack of emotions when they're really needed, I find his character to be weirdly pretentious. He talks as if he's constantly been betrayed and hurt but I personally, don't see it? Like, I think one of the main examples was the Pogtopia vs. Manberg war, yknow he wanted to end the government but they just reinstated it after they won = c!Techno upset. But this doesn't make sense to me because why did he think otherwise? The entire time c!Tommy had talked about taking back their nation and starting again, so the fact that c!Techno suddenly thought there would be a sudden change is, to put it bluntly, kinda fucking stupid. I don't want to say that he "plays the victim" or anything because that feels a bit harsh, but his character feels so far up his own ass that I can't enjoy him.

I have a major grip with c!Dream as well, but that's getting it's own fucking section.

F. L'Manberg This is a quick note before we get into the, forgive me for this, endgame, of this entire rant, since the next two sections are tied together. But god, L'Manberg makes me upset because it feels like they gave up on it.

Don't get me wrong, I understand that it is supposed to be c!Wilbur's "unfinished symphony", the thing that destroyed a once charismatic and widely loved man, his attempt at power that utterly ruined him. But the fact that it just got blown up in the end after everything and left to rot felt like such a waste of time. From the first war, to Pogtopia, to even c!Tommy's exile, it all felt fucking worthless in the end, and the story is actively closer to how it was when it started now more than ever. I wished it was actually allowed to exist and continue to be a peaceful place in what is a chaotic world, but no it was just snuffed out because why dedicate to this concept of finding others you can band together with and feel safe. fuck that noise apparently?

G. The Villains Now villain-wise, I'm only talking about c!Dream [during the first war], c!Schlatt, and c!Wilbur. And believe it or not, this is actually mostly positive.

Now I'm not gonna lie, c!Dream as a staring antagonist wasn't bad actually, he posed a genuine and threatening opposition to L'Manberg, even if we didn't know his real intentions or motivations as to why he was against it. He's lucky in this sense because he didn't have to be good, he had to be passable. If anything, he felt more like an anti-hero than a tyrant or traditional villain, and my god do I wish he kept this theme going forward.

Now quick disclaimer, I don't like JSchlatt as much as the next guy, he's an adult man who should know better than to joke about some sensitive topics and act the way that he does. But the one thing I'll ever give him is that damn, was he a good actor for his character.

Now here's the thing, c!Schlatt wasn't particularly deep at all. He had no real motivations behind his exile of c!Wilbur and c!Tommy other than getting competition out of the way, had no reason to act the way that he did and yknow? that's fine. The reason why he worked was from his performance alone, he was actually intimidating. When he came onto the stream and was doing his typical bad guy stuff, it was actually intense to see what he would do. Whenever he would almost catch c!Tommy back in Manberg, whenever he would begin to pressure c!Tubbo, it put you on the edge of your seat and it felt like everything would change at the drop of a pen. He's a villain to be a villain, and this works out because he's just charismatic and well put together enough to make it interesting, even without the backstory or motives.

c!Wilbur however, is much more tragic, and the best villain of the story. He essentially was the "mentor turned evil" trope and it felt terrible watching him descend into madness, unable to trust barely anyone except for c!Techno and c!Tommy. Hell, in the end I think he still cared about them both, despite losing everything. Sure, he blew up L'Manberg, but there was still a smidge of the old c!Wilbur in there made everything he did feel melancholic. His death at the hands of his father after achieving his final wish was chilling, and something I still think about.

Until yknow, Ghostbur came back way too soon to let people feel his loss as a character within that world. And then he got revived, pretty much-undoing everything that moment meant for his character lol.

And then there's the worst one:

H. Dream. I'm going to be completely honest, c!Dream is one of the main reasons why I dislike the current dsmp stuff so much. Outside of his actions as a person, the way Dream decided to write his character as this overpowered madman of the dsmp really just. destroyed any intrigue that he could've had. Perhaps this is from my growing dislike towards him, manifesting into a bias towards his character, but god I cannot fathom why people try to insist he's interesting when he has as much depth as a fucking puddle.

And here's the thing, I'm not even entirely against c!Dream being a villain, hell I think he would've been great as an anti-hero if anything. Make him sympathetic but not through c!George to get your precious "DNF" points or anything, but show him actually caring about the people within the dsmp, including c!Tommy and c!Tubbo. This would make his rival status with them just a bit more complicated, sure they're enemies, however, he doesn't want to hurt or kill them, and there's still a level of friendship there that keeps them bonded when things get super bad. This could've been super interesting to see, the first villain of the story receiving a sorta redemption arc then descending into madness as he started to fixate on being a god. This is all how I feel personally, but god do I feel like it would've been better than his current character, and hell would've worked with how he was during the Pogtopia arc, before the war that is. I'm not trying to tell Dream how to write his own character, but there are so many other ways he could've done the madman seeking to become god rather then. whatever the hell we got.

Because instead, we got this power-mad asshole who does things... because he can? And that's one of my major issues: he tries to surround his character in mystery to make him "intriguing" but it's kinda like c!Techno, it comes off as pretentious. Not only that, but you cannot keep waving around this mystery of a backstory without ever actually revealing it. I know the story isn't over, but c!Dream is effectively at his lowest point, now would be the time to reveal his backstory. But no just keep it in the dark and keep everyone guessing, that's totally fun and not at all tiring and annoying. (sarcasm, if anyone needs it)

And back to his performance, he doesn't sell this aloof, cynical and strategic warrior that has perfected the blade or some shit, he comes off as some angry guy yelling on reddit. which i don't need to tell you, isn't intimidating. It feels like he's trying to have c!Schlatt's intimidation combined with c!Wilbur's depth, but instead he's like a little brother who's trying to hard to mimic his older brother and is kinda embarrassing himself.

but other then that i dont feel too strongly abt the dsmp lol

but seriously, these are the main complaints I have abt the story tbh, I could probably talk about more but I wont because man. this is probably gonna get me in trouble if any of the hyper-dsmp fans actually read it.

[thatguywiththefaceog]

Smutember 2022 Movies

To celebrate their eighteenth birthday, Mabel buys a porno! Hopefully nothing weird happens...

This story is rated E for explicit and is for adults only. All characters depicted are 18. Incest warning 

It was a big day for the Pines twins, their eighteenth birthday. After a big day with all their friends and family the twins were left alone. The parents had a work conference to go to and left earlier in the evening. Mabel tapped Dipper on the shoulder. “Pst, Dipper. Look at what I bought.” Mabel held out a dvd case of a porno movie.

“Mabel, what the hell? Why did you show me this?”

“Well because I can. We can buy porn now!”

“Mabel, it’s free on the internet.”

“Yeah I know, but I could buy this! Legally. I just wanted to do something I couldn’t do before. I don’t want to smoke so…”

“Agh, okay, okay. It’s fine. I get it.”

“Let’s watch it.”

“Mabel!”

“What? Come on, it’s a rite of passage. It’s just a little fun.”

Dipper rubs his temple. This was gonna get weird. “Fine.”

Mabel cheered. “Yeah.”

She opened up the case and popped the disc into the dvd player. Dipper shifted uncomfortably on the couch as Mabel went through the menu to hit play movie. Once the movie started she sat down on the couch. Dipper was glad that she gave him plenty of space.

It was about ten minutes into the movie before Mabel sighed. “This is boring.”

“They’re setting up the plot Mabel.”

“It’s porn. Who gives a shit about the plot! No one can act. Just fuck already.”

This got a chuckle out of Dipper. Mabel smiled. For what it was worth, Dipper was having some fun. He always had a fondness for badly made movies.

When the characters started to undress, Mabel shouted, “Finally!” However as the sex started, Dipper and Mabel realized something. They were getting horny next to each other. Dipper felt his cock harden and he was worried that Mabel would notice. He shifted his legs, trying to hard his erection.

Mabel, meanwhile, was feeling hot and bothered herself. She mindlessly grinded herself along the cushion she was sitting on. God she felt so hot downstairs. Mabel's fingers wandered underneath her skirt. She gasped as she started masturbating.

This caught Dipper’s attention. “Mabel what the fuck!” He stood up.

She blushed. “Dipper look, this is really hot and It’s been awhile. Look, it's not a big deal.”  

“Mabel, you’re fingering yourself while I’m in the room.”

“Maybe you should try it. You’re looking a bit backed up yourself.”

Sure enough Dipper’s bugle was clearly showing in his jeans. He has nothing to say to this, so he just sits back down. But the sounds of the fucking in the movie, combined with the slick of his sister’s fingering herself was getting to him. Fine, fuck it. He undoes his jeans, freeing his hard cock and started stroking himself.

Mabel’s eyes poped out of her head. Dipper’s little dipper is actually a big dipper. Her brother’s cock was a ten inch long monster, thick and girthy. She bit her lip as she blushed. She continued fingering herself but while eyeing her brother.

The sound from the screen gets her attention. The girl’s large breasts were wrapped around the man’s large cock. “Dipper, how do you think that would feel?”

Dipper was annoyed at his twin’s interrupting his jerk off session. But the question does remind Dipper one thing. Puberty was ridiculously kind to Mabel. At freshly eighteen, Mabel’s boobs were already double d size.

“I dunno, maybe, maybe we could see.”

She blushes at this. “Yeah, it’s not like it would count or anything, it would be…”

“Practice,” Dipper finished. Mabel got up then knelt in front of Dipper. She took off her shirt. Dipper inhaled. Her bra was a light pink. Mabel undid her bra, freeing her breasts. Mabel was nervous. Her boobs were big yes, but they have a sag that the porn actress didn’t. But her fears dissolved when she felt her brother groped her chest. She loaned. Christ, it felt so good. The two shifted around until Dipper’s throbbing erection was sandwiched in her chest.

Mabel started tit fucking her brother in earnest. Their own grunts becoming louder than the porn they were watching. Mabel watched the tip of Dipper’s cock emerge from her cleavage.  

“You like this Dipper?”

“Sh-shit Mabel, this is amazing.” Dipper’s whole body clenched as he came, flooding Mabel’s chest with his seed. Mabel grinned. Atta girl.  

“Mabel, oh Mabel. That was… wow.” He moved toward his sister.

“Dipper, what are you doing?”

“Well, you made me feel good, so I think I should make you feel good too,” Dipper told her.

This was the sweetest thing a boy had ever told her. Dipper set her up on the couch and pulled on her skirt. Mabel took off her panties exposing her moist lips. He fingered Mabel. She arm her arms around him. God this felt so good. But this wasn’t enough and they both knew it.

Dipper pulled her pants down and pushed himself inside her. Mabel’s walls wrapped and hugged around her brother’s cock as he thrusted deep into her.”

“Oh, oh, Dipper!”

“Aw, aw, aw Mabel!”  

He came again, flooding her womb. His pumps slowed down as he finished. The twins panted, covered in sweat and fluids as the credits of the porno rolled. Dipper fell next to her. “Oh, oh, Christ, Mabel. That was..”

“Wow.”

“Yeah.”

[solarsleepless]

Please tell me everything you know about c!niki xD

THIS IS GONNA BE HELLA LONG SO HERE YOU GO

so niki first joined l'manberg - contrary to popular belief - AFTER the revolution, along w jack manifold. she joined bc she was good friends with wilbur and tommy. she opened up a bakery after consulting her diary/chat, and it ended up being pretty successful. not too succesful, but successful. during the elections, she decided to support her friend (childhood friend? the timeline is fucked up bc of c!fundy existing lbr) and together she and fundy made COCONUT2020. she didn't think she'd win, only really did it for fun, and supported wilbur even though she didn't join his party then her best friend and friend got exiled, and so she was understandably distraught and angry schlatt's reign was one of her low points. not her lowest, but pretty damn low if i do say so myself. she was tormented during this time by schlatt himself, and he made fun of her for her relationship with wilbur, called her things like a "wrench", he taxed her (to the point where she had to run away!), and he imprisoned her. it doesn't help that her childhood(?) friend betrayed her burnt down the flag that she had made for l'manberg (its so sad actually, listen to it) she had a birthday party that while i didnt watch ive heard that wilbur threatened to blow up l'manberg so yeah then she saw her younger brother-like figure get executed onstage, then almost got executed herself, when wilbur managed to get her away then it is DEVASTATING as she finally finds out abt how things have been going in pogtopia (especially for the viewers who only watched niki's pov). she had thought that they had a plan, that they were working things out, when really they haven't even got a semblance of a plan the pit fight happens, and then after she goes up to listen to one of tommy's discs with tubbo and tommy themselves during the manberg v pogtopia war, she fights for pogtopia and watches schlatt die and the nation become wilbur's again. then, of course, comes the part that all old school c!niki fans will remember... during the celebration they had just after tubbo gained presidency, she accidentally uncovered a small part of the wall and saw tnt. she went still, then covered it up, on the assumption that wilbur wouldn't blow it up BOY was she wrong her home gets destroyed (watch this and skip forwards until niki's pov), and she doesnt find out that wilbur dies until much, much later. to honour him, she starts wearing his coat. everything goes fine for a little while, and she yknow dates puffy (*SOBS* im unbiased im unbiased.... *sob*), and then doesnt find out abt tommy's exile until much later AFTER that. she doesnt really get in on the lore much during the inbetween period of tommy's exile and doomsday except for her city being built more. then, during doomsday, she gets angry at tommy and says that he couldn't just walk in there and assume everyone would be on his side, she also shouts at ranboo abt sides and stuff. later, she apologizes to ranboo and says that if ranboo fights for l'manberg, she will too. ranboo ends up doing nothing except watching everything unfold, and so niki does the same, except for one thing. she burns down the l'mantree, also known as her canonical lowest point. after that, she hears ghostbur speaking and has a panic attack, trying to reassure herself that "he's gone, he's gone, he's gone" and because shes too flooded w memories, she ends up blowing up her bakery. afterwards, however, she goes down into her secret city and isolates herself from everybody except for jack, who she plots to kill tommy with. she takes tommy to a nuclear test site and almost manages to kill him, but JUST misses him, somehow after this attempt, she scurries back to her little hole like a cryptid and (this is, in my opinion, her lowest point) isolates herself even MORE. she has contact with exactly 1 person during this whole period of four-five canonical(??) months, and it results in her mental health getting worse. technoblade visits her at the start of this, offering her a position as an anarchist to which she gives him a "maybe, after

i kill tommy" she gets night terrors, and keeps herself in a literal CELL so that she doesnt go anywhere when she sleepwalks, also punches the walls whenever she wakes up from a nightmare, which is often. eventually tho, she accepts techno's offer and joins the syndicate, naming herself as nemesis as a reference to her past self she manages to heal a substantial amount, finally having: a) a group that lets her speak (which is SO important for her, its actually the key to her entire arc) and b) socialization! however this takes a big turn, when she hears that wilbur's back she tries to play it off, then goes the l'manhole or l'crater, reminisces about wilbur betraying her (may i note the rocketduo where she looks pointedly at manifoldland and says "and GOD you deserved so much better dgsayufasyufgasuy) she grabs wilbur's diamonds, some of the first ever items she got in the SMP, then hides them in the wall, as a sign of her closing off from wilbur

PHHOOOOOOEEY THAT WAS A LONG ONE

okay so imma go with this writing cause its fun. so, you asked a few questions in response to the ask you gave me!! so lets go 1) why does she feel betrayed by wilbur? because she was one of the first people she met (canonically) on the SMP. he promised her that it would be a land of peace, prosperity, but she started loving it BECAUSE of wilbur. case and point: when wilbur asks whether she's loyal to l'manberg, she goes "yes, i'm loyal to you, wil." "no, no, not to me- to l'manberg" she quite literally wore his coat around the SMP as a symbol of her friendship and dedication towards him, because they were honestly the best of friends, and she THOUGHT she knew it. points out) and its the way she's learnt to do things. also remember: c!Niki is an unreliable narrator, that's the whole point of her character. it's a response to trauma (as @tubboblr pointed out) you're also probably wondering why she burnt down the l'mantree. and it's not because she "finally realized that l'manberg was bad" it was actually really simple: she wanted to be heard. she had been beaten down and talked over SO much (aka the BASIS for her arc) that she's so desperate to be heard she'll take desperate measures. another reason is because she finally loses hope in l'manberg. she loved it, loves it, but she just lost hope in it. she never hated it. she LOVED it, with all her heart. she just didnt believe it had any hope to be the place she had thought it was. if you have any other questions, let me know!!

[littlefoxwithbighat]

Hi! This is talking about the plot of the dream smp in a meta sense and its a bit negative. The person behind this blog wants to remind you that you can skip if it's not for you and they still love the SMP. :)

ALL DISCUSSION IS ABOUT CHARACTERS. DON'T ATTACK CCS OR I WILL STEAL YOUR KNEECAPS.

I can't lie; I'm really annoyed and worried at the way the writers are handling Tommys character at the moment, and am increasingly concerned about it messing up the plot.

I wasn't very happy with the finale. I don't think that means all is lost, I think they can pull it back but it's going to take some work. I was worried about the way that things were handled before but the green festival was actually very well handled, so my worries were mostly assuaged. But yesterday? I don't know.

The fact nobody lost a cannon death is kind of disappointing. The weight of blowing up an entire city/ (country?) brutally is somewhat lost if there is no human loss. Nobody was hurt physically and the only people this had a big mental impact on was Tommy and Tubbo, everyone else wasn't very attached to L'manburg or had gone rogue, or were detatched from the while situation. And maybe it's the fact it's happened to them before or that they still have each other or that it seems odd/ frustrating that they still care so much about this place or that it was always a losing battle and they knew it, but I dont find myself really pitying them like I probably should. And I think that comes down to character growth or lack thereof, which I'll discuss later.

Niki and Fundy have started a villain arc, or at least a violent nihilism arc, and I actually don't mind it, in fact I'm a fan but it wasnt really foreshadowed, or really just showing them cracking as much as it should have been. I would guess this has mostly been started for both of them to tie Niki into the plot and I can't blame her for wanting that. Fundys acting is very good, and I REALLY hope the writers handle this well. For Fundy, regarding the fact that his father is going to be resurrected and that Fundy is following in his footsteps... If the writers don't realise that connection and make this a big step in Fundys narrative I will scream. Also Funboo bros are very interesting character foils and I hope their relationship is maintained so that they can play of off each other and also man I just really want them to keep being friends, it's a generally positive healthy relationship that makes both characters sympathetic and we need that right now. As for Niki, her character motivations seem to be mostly centered around Tommy and on the one hand I'm like ehhhh, because Tommy's character already gets a disproportionate amount of attention in terms of narrative, and I get it, but recently he's been a bit TOO much of the protagonist for a multi-person POV improve server... and I'm apprehensive. However on the other hand this has potential for a nice confrontation between Tommy and Niki. If that happens I want Tommy to be aware that this is going to happen and not talk over Niki, and I don't want it to be brushed over. I think it would be best if it was just the two of them. This also gives a nice chance for Tommy to examine his trauma with Dream and explain his motivations and Niki to get her anger out. I also want it to end positively, because it absolutely can and lack of communication when the viewer knows how to fix it is OK as a plot device sometimes but incredibly frustrating if it keeps happening (cough, Tommy and Techno).

Ranboo is reacting to the plot amazingly and I have as usual only praise for him, go, you funky enderman boy, go.

Wilbur is getting resurrected which is a thousand percent because Will wants the plot back and honestly I don't really mind, I think he'll do a good job. However I really hope he speaks to everybody about their characters, particularly Fundy, Ranboo and Niki because I don't want their characterisation and arcs to be thrown away.

Tubbo is doing very well, and I don't have many complaints to be honest. I hope he continues to get in with the acting with no shame, because he's an amazing VA when he wants to be, but sometimes he undercuts serious moments a little too much by laughing. Same criticism for Phil actually. But both are doing good.

On the theme of that, while I don't mind tension relievers or humour in serious moments there are sometimes too many. It was a lot worse about a month back and it was improving, but it seems to be creeping back in and ehhh. It's kind of Marvel-esque and not in a good way? I think it has a lot to do with bloopers and for some reason there are loads at the moment? Like Wilburs arc had almost none and this arc there's at least 2 every moment. Which isn't always their fault but maybe they need to take more steps to prevent them.

Techno is doing OK, he's quite a meta character so I'm not too mad about him undercutting serious moments but sometimes he does do it too much or in the wrong place. Like making jokes about Connor completely over the top of Tommy and Tubbos reunion, you know an event which has been foreshadowed for yoinks, prevented them from getting a proper flow going and kind of ruined it. And that made the reunion really dissapointing, which is a shame because it could have been so cool. However his characterisation is consistent and dedicated, his goals and relationships are clear and he's getting humanised more which is nice, and his monologues are great. I'm curious to see what he does now NL'M is gone but I have total faith in him.

Now Tommy. Oh Tommy. His character is such a mess at the moment, which is a shame because there were moments I saw people doubting his character choices and I was behind him.

Firstly the relationship with Techno fell apart. That was inevitable. Tommy didn't care about anarchy and Techno didn't care about the discs and both of their goals would impede the others. But the way Tommy talks about Techno is so... No? And now I understand that Tommy is going to have a biased perspective on the whole situation, and that's fine and good, but his character is so wrong about Techno it feels weird and painful? Like even from his perspective it went down differently to how he talks about it. They don't listen to each other and it's like watching two people scream at a wall.

The issue is the relationship was fairly well developed. I struggle to see Tommy saying he saw Techno as a friend but Techno never saw him as a friend because hold on, what? Techno, here's a respiration helmet because of that one of thing you told me about your trauma, a disc because those make you happy, plus top tier armour and weaponry, plus I'm going to spend time with you, calm you down from panic attacks, hide you and protect you from Dream, let you wander around L'manburg and achieve your own goals and help you plan things out Techno and Tommy didn't get ANYTHING from that? Plus after Techno opens up about his goals and his trauma, do the one thing that would hurt him the most, (use and then betray him) and then directly oppose his goals after he helped me? Ugh. It just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I know he would never let Tubbo get hurt and thats fine, but there were ways around that. If you're framing this character as the protagonist, then he needs to be sympathetic or at least grow and Tommy using Techno again without remorse and then refusing to listen to his perspective or show any gratitude for anything makes it difficult for viewers to empathise with him in my opinion. Have him betray Techno and then listen to Techno when he explains why Tommys betrayal hurt him and apologise, fine. Have him listen to Techno and try and find a way to keep Tubbo safe regardless, fine. Have him betray Techno but apologetically and still trying to avoid Techo getting crushed or killed, fine. But THIS? Im sympathetic towards Tommys character but this throws away so much potential character development for Tommy, where at least he saw Techno as a person, and not only that but a nice person who despite everything has set aside everything to help him? And then for him to be exactly where he was at the end of season 1, both literally, and emotionally ? I understand this is a child soldier with trauma but this is supposed to be our protagonist and if he doesn't grow, and isn't sympathetic and destroys someone we care about, how can we root for him?

Now all of this could be forgivable, not great, but forgivable, if Tommy had moved on from the discs. The Goddamn Discs™. And the worse part is all the dominoes were lined up to suggest he had! We had his moment of "he watched me" where he realised Dream was the villain and controlling him, "I've become worse than everyone I hated" good, amazing, I see where this is going, "The discs were worth more than you ever were!" and then he retracts and apologises and you think horray! Tommy has realised the discs were being used to control him and if he doesn't care about them, they hold no value! Now he's going to realise that his friends are more important and he's going to stop going after the discs. His new character motivation can be killing Dream and protecting his friends, especially Tubbo. It's clearly angled this way, and this way the plot progresses and Tommy with it. What marvellous character development. Look at him go.

And THEN, after everything that's happened he says the most important thing is the disc and I want them back!?!? EH !!? Why... Who... Who gave the OK on that writing decision? That's so static and boring and unsympathetic! And then he's back to asking people do fight for L'manburg? What?

I'll be honest I was kind go hoping either Tommy or Tubbo would die with L'manburg. I didn't mind it they didn't, there are a thousand ways to make the plot work without them dying, but this was not a great one.

PLEASE let Tommy have some growth. Yes he's had some from not caring about L'manburg to fighting for it in season one, but that was ages ago and he doesnt seem to have changed since then in any way that really counts. And I know this is harsh and he's traumatised but you have to understand I am talking about this in a sense of characters and narrative and NOT in terms of real life. Tommy needs to be better and dynamic because he is a charcacter and I want him to be a good one.

Having said all that, here are my thoughts on the future of the SMP.

Firstly, I am worried that becuse it is such a good source of content, especially for Tommy that they will never ever kill his character and leave him fighting with Dream for eternity. And I love the Dream SMP but I've seen stories that get dragged out for plot or content, and however much you think you want it to never end, let me tell you, yes you do. It will get stale and repetitive and I want the dream smp, or at least Tommys arc to go out with a beautiful and brilliant and fabulous plot ending instead of being dragged into the dirt. And then maybe new characters take the spotlight. Just please god give it a goode ending.

I also really hope they don't throw other things away to make Tommy the centre of attention, especially if it's destructive to the plot, or kind of weird and obnoxious.

Secondly, I am intrigued about the prison and Schlatts book to Dream and Technos favour and the egg and what that entails and I hope they really think through those plot points carefully and make them work, and don't forget them or throw them away.

Thirdly, I am intrigued for Wilburs return and hope that he manages to fix it cohesively without too crazy a change of pace and style and keeping characters (especially Ranboo and Fundy and Niki) consistent.

I hope they prep for the future and think things thought and communicate with each other.

It might be interesting to see other countries finally discussed but I don't know how much that would intefere with other plot points so we'll see.

That's all! Reminder that this is about characters and plot and this is just a few criticisms. I love the dream smp, but there are somethings I wanted to get of my chest. Please be respectful and feel free to discuss in the notes. Also, again, no hate to any CCs!

[letsgofoletsgo]

Nightlife of Scilica

“Okay, got it. Thanks love, bye.”

“So, what did she say?”

“Belle says she and Masa will meet us at 6:00.” Morgan said as she slid her phone into her pocket. 

“Alright, that leaves us a couple hours.” Lamar stated. 

“So what do you guys want to do in the meantime?” Sofia asked.

“Well, I guess we could wander around and see what we can find.” He suggested. 

“Wait a sec… Isn’t Anime Reach just around the corner?” Morgan realized. 

“Anime Reach? Wasn’t that that one store you guys accidentally shoplifted from?” Sofia said. 

“I thought we weren’t gonna speak of that again!” Lamar retorted. 

“Hey, no one got arrested, so no shade from me.” Sofia teased.

“That being said, you haven’t been there before, have you Sof?” Morgan said. 

“Nope, can’t say I have.”

“In that case, you and I have a duty toward our friend here Lamar.” Morgan said confidently 

“Oh yeah! As proud Otakus, we’ll guide you through one of the most prestigious anime merch stores in all of Silica!” Lamar boasted. “Er, if that’s cool with you.”     “Sounds good to me!” Sofia smiled. 

“Then onward we go MD-5!” Morgan exclaimed.

The three proceeded through the bustling streets of Silica City. The multitude of neon signs mounted around the buildings illuminated the city in a brilliant shower of light, sparking a sense of wonder and excitement of of the nightlife scene. Indistinct chatter coming from the crowds that populated the sidewalks perpetuated the buzzing atmosphere of the night; The signature vibe of the city that MD-5 felt truly at home in. 

“We should be coming up to it now.” Lamar noted. 

“Yo, look! There’s that one gaming equipment store we looked in.” Morgan pointed to a neighboring store that looked worse for wear, complete with being decked out with glaring yellow and white neon signs that appeared to be on their last legs.

“Oh yeah, Nyla Co., was it? Let me tell you, all it took was one look for us to decide to high tail it out of there- leave their shoddy products for the next poor fool to stumble upon.” He commented. 

“Huh. Don’t need to tell me twice,” Sofia said as she eyed the place dubiously. 

“Forget Nyla- I can see Anime Reach from here!” Morgan said.

“Let’s get a move on then!” Lamar said. 

The trio made their way across the street, and they approached a large store with anime merchandise posters plastered all over the large glass windows. As they came closer, Sofia’s eyes lit up in wonder. 

“Woah… I had no idea it was so big!” She marveled. 

“Just wait ‘till you see it from the inside! Morgan said excitedly. 

The sliding doors in front of them parted, and the entered the building. Before them was a sprawling otaku paradise; for seemingly miles the shelves were stocked with figurines, posters, cardboard cutouts, art books, disc and manga sets, anything a lover of anime could want. 

“Wow, I can see why you like it here so much.” Sofia remarked as she took it all in. 

“Indeed, welcome to our little slice of heaven my friend.” Lamar beamed. 

“Lamar’s been here more times than I’ll have, so I’ll give him the main honors of showing you around.” Morgan noted.

“An honor it shall be! If you ladies would follow me, I’ve got the best bits of the store practically memorized.” 

“I would expect nothing less.” She giggled. 

Lamar led the two down the main isle, where several groups of fellow otakus were browsing the shelves. He then took a turn a little ways down, where the shelves displayed hordes of figures. The colorful figures all had a unique charm to them, and they were usually grouped with others from the same source material. While most of them were packaged in flashy but efficient boxes, there was a certain section where the figures were out in the open, and seemed to be mismatched between animes.

“Now, I like going into this aisle because you can actually find some good figures here, and they’re usually pretty hard to come by otherwise.” Lamar explained. “But there’s also a section of figures that I think are second-handed, so they go for lower than they normally would.”     “Yeah, didn’t you find a decently-made Sastsuki-Chan figure here once?” Morgan asked as they overlooked the displays. 

“That I did, little bud. I’m pretty sure I still got it in my room... Somewhere.” 

“Hey, isn’t that Nova-Chan in there?” Sofia pointed to a figure in the bunch.

“What? Nova-Chan?? Don’t worry baby! I’ll save you!”

In a rather comical endeavor, Lamar dramatically reached for the figure Sofia identified. He grabbed the blue-haired figure and cradled it gently in his hands. 

“What did they do to you, Nova-Chan?” 

As Lamar expressed his lament, Sofia and Morgan just looked at each other, not quite knowing what to make at this display of weebness. 

“Um… Is uh, is she okay?” Sofia asked after a moment. 

“Luckily, yeah, but it ain’t right for a figure that’s so high quality to end up in a pit like that.” He stated. 

“Looks like Nova-Chan wasn’t alone at least.” Morgan dug into the pile and pulled out a figure that looked similar to Nova-Chan, but had a different design scheme. 

Lamar gasped. “Comet-Chan! Not you too!” 

“Don’t worry, she’s a little chipped around the edges but seems alright as well.” Morgan said as she examined it. 

“As much as I like this store, I wish they’d treat some of their stuff a little better.” Lamar expressed. 

“You know, this actually got me thinking of that one episode near season one’s finale.” Morgan said. “Remember how the Galactica arc started?” 

“Oh yeah! The Nova explorers had to fight in Galactica’s tournament to save their galaxy, and she put Comet up against Nova for the first match!”     “You see, it was a really big plot point because this was where Comet-Chan’s jealousy towards Nova-Chan started to boil over, and we get to see what their friendship was like before the formation of the Nova Explorers.” Morgan described. 

“Then after Nova wins, we get a moment of character development where they re-learn what it means to be apart of the Nova Explorers, and made amends to their friendship.” 

“A bit cliche, but I personally think it was well done, and it solidified their friendship for the coming seasons.”

“Well now, you two are certainly well-versed in Nova Explorers lore.” Sofia joked.

“What can we say, we binged watched the first couple seasons last week.” She admitted. “Anyway, Lamar, how about I show Sofia and I look around the rest of the place, while you scour the other end for any rare merch you might have missed?”

“Sounds like a plan, little man.”

    The two shared a triumphant fist-bump, then briefly parted ways. Lamar went to searching the shelves in great detail, using his keen eye to detect anything worth noting. Morgan and Sofia went about in a more casual manner, however the former continued on about Nova Explorers lore and how it all connected to the central plot. Sofia didn’t quite understand it all, but eagerly listened nonetheless. It was fun wandering around in the store, it felt like so long since they all just let loose and had a good time. The trio almost felt as though they were kids once again running about the toy store. 

    It may have been for that reason that they nearly lost track of time; Morgan was dramatically acting out a pivotal moment in one of the latter seasons with a couple of figurines, when she abruptly remembered the schedule they were on. 

    “Hold on, Sofia!” she said, realization hitting like a brick. “What time is it?”

    “Uh- five fifty.” She stated, checking her phone.

    “Shit! We need to find Lamar and get going!”

    She nodded in agreement, and the two set off to find their Otaku friend. It took a few minutes, but they managed to spot him rummaging deeply in a shelf. 

    “Lamar! There you are!”

    “Huh- Ack!” He cried as he banged his head on the upper shelf as he came out. 

    “Dude, come on, we’re meeting the others in ten minutes!” Morgan said.     “Oh damn, we better get a move on!”

    With that, the trio hurried out of the store back onto the streets. After briefly arguing which would be the quickest path to take, MD-5 ended up cutting through a nearby alley way and out onto a major commercial lane. Despite nearly running into several people and maybe a lamppost or two, the friends eventually made it to where they agreed to meet.     “Finally! Good thing we got here in time.” Sofia said slightly out of breath, looking intently at Lamar.

“Hey, I was on a good lead towards a limited edition, so sorry if I lost track of time a bit.” Lamar defended. “Besides, we weren’t held up too badly now, were we?” 

    “I’ll say. Now where-” Morgan was interrupted by a ping from her phone. After reading it over, she looked around for a moment before spotting a couple of familiar faces. 

    “Guys, there they are!” She exclaimed. “Masa! Belle! Over here!” 

    The other two members of MD-5 turned to face the rest of their friends. 

    “Hey there, it’s about time you all showed up.” Masa said. 

    “Sorry, we spent some time at Anime Reach and got a little distracted.” Morgan smirked at Lamar. 

    “Look, a fan’s gotta do what a fan’s gotta do, okay?” He said proudly. 

    “Well, what are we all standing around for? I’m dying for some food over here.” Morgan said. 

    “Yeah! Besides, we still haven’t covered the Quazar arc from the fourth season of Nova Explorers!” Lamar said. 

    “Oh boy, here we go again.” Belle said in a half exasperated tone. 

    “Hey, that’s what you sign up for when your girlfriend and her best friend are anime fans.” Morgan said playfully. 

    “Regrettably so.” She nudged her a bit before putting an arm around her. 

“So as I was saying to Sofia, the Quazar arc really threw the fandom for a loop as it turned one of the main concepts of the series on it’s head-”

And thus she would nerd on, with only one other member of the group intently listening.

[420pogpills]

( just sending it again if u wanna answer it!)

Omg I want to talk to you about the final lore stream!!i'm honestly so happy how it turned out in the end!! I wasn't personally happy about the whole techno and dream teaming up that time but the finale was SO satisfying omg!!! I loved it!! If dream wrote the finale script then good on him! as a villian he still wrote himself "losing"... for the moment. which I was sceptical that would be the case since I thought Tommy or tubbo... or both, would die and dream would win since he seems like the type who would like winning and having the upper hand constantly lol but his acting and writing skills are truly so good rn. Kinda...hot if I may say so🥵

I actually wasn't into the lore from the beginning, I originally got into the lore the stream George got the kingship when he was building his cottage lol. I got into it in hopes George will have a bigger role in the lore and that knight dream x king George was such a yummy trope to me😭. But alas George got dethroned and didn't participate in the lore at all but by then I already have gotten lowkey invested in Tommy's "potential" exile and it all went downhill for me and got fully into the lore lol. My favourite part was Tommy's and Techno'd team up and their brotherly like relationship. I also enjoyed Tommy's and dreams interactions it was interesting and their friendship is so funny to me. Tommy loves to tease dream about George even in lore streams lmao.

I found it so funny and extremely grateful tbh that when Dream messaged Techno on twitter about needing that favour now when he was cornered and Techno was like "sorry can't im busy" LMAO like wbk that Techno cares for Tommy even if they fought. Peak siblings. I really wish in the future  to get more Techno and Tommy streams because they're so entertaining.Tommy is that annoying little brother to the big brother Techno haha. I saw some people say c!techno does not care of c!Tommy and idk man I think techno does care for Tommy but as we have seen techno is not good at expressing his feelings very well...lol kinda like Tommy. He shows his appreciation through loyalty and protection it seems. I just really love technos character so much I hope the next "season plot" won't ruin his character development.

I've seen also people say that Techno still owes Dream that favour and Dream will use it so Techno will kill Tommy or something like that.... bruh... I sure hope not. What do you think?? -🌰

god sorry for taking so damn long to get around to this! :’))) putting this under so it’s not such a long post

that finale was amazing indeed!!! i actually wasn’t expecting it, and there were still certain people there that i did not trust (mainly like punz and maybe sapnap) but now that we’ve gotten several prison streams, i guess everyone did actually turn against dream! when he went off with sam (and was it sapnap as well, or someone else omg i can’t even remember now) i thought omg what if the next lore stream someone turns up at the prison and he isn’t there? but he is so i guess yeah :P

i agree i really loved tommy’s exile arc because him and techno had such a great vibe! it was hilarious but also comforting because techno pretends like he can’t stand tommy but you know he cared for him for sure :’) and i think tommy turning against him actually hurt him real bad :(

and i loved that we got to see so much of dream too since he came to visit him almost everyday. we got to see incredible character development during the exile arc for dream, i feel like that’s when people seriously started to realise like okaaaaay dream is bAAAAAAd 

i don’t know if i’d say techno’s character is in the right place morally but i feel like everyone on the smp has their own ideas of what’s right and what’s necessary, and a lot of them mix it up with what they want. take tommy with his discs as an example. he was willing to risk his own AND tubbo’s life just to get the discs back and it’s like?? i know they mean a lot but how can they mean more than yourself and your best friend??? how is it worth it?? i mean alls well that ends well, but it could’ve ended way worse had everyone not come to help. he literally would’ve watched tubbo die in front of him just because he had to go and fight for these discs :( i mean dream probably would’ve eventually lured him in, i think his goal was always to kill tubbo to hurt tommy.. but sTILL tommy was very fixated on those discs :’)

i don’t see dream using that favour for techno to kill tommy i dunno, i don’t think he would. i think it’s possible he’ll use the favour to either break him out or do some sort of something to help him break out, but i’m not sure! i’m excited to see tho, lore has been very egg-centred lately so it’s gonna be interesting to see how the lore progresses. i’m not holding my breath but i pRAAAAY we get to see george or sapnap visit dream in prison. george is unlikely but sapnap is quite likely i’d say! and c!dream hasn’t mentioned george in ages since george hasn’t been involved in the lore and stuff, i wonder if him mentioning him recently was potential indication that he might dip his toes in again?? also the fact that they went to see the egg during george’s stream hmmmm 

[c-atm]

Fighting Flirty Birthday Boss rush Chapter 2: Onion's layers of fun

*Present*

 Steven stretched, a smile on his face as he looked at the statue. "I thought that Priya-mom would be a little more of a challenge actually, but she let me coast by...I think she might be plotting for next time we all have a game night. She's a bit of a sore loser." He relaxed his body, laying his elbows on his knees as he slouched forward. "The next boss, they kind of put me through my paces."

*earlier*

Steven sniffed the air like a bloodhound as he followed the scent coming from Funland, curiosity  and pleasant anxiousness within as he got closer  to the source. "The arcade huh? Did she got little laminar to help?" Steven pondered as he walked in,still following the scent.

He found himself at the back of the arcade, at the prize counter. He looked at the very top to see another box with a pink note, basically bathed in Connie's Scent. scent.  “Maybe it’s Mr. Smiley helping her..Whoa!” His eyes spotted the price tag on the box. “100,000  tickets, the top score on ten games, a combination of the two, or win the token challenge.” Steven hummed as he rubbed his chin. “What’s the token challenge?” 

“Meh!”

Steven looked behind him only to get hugged by a (finally) older Onion. He turned around to return the hug to the boy he saw as a kid brother. After breaking the greeting, Steven looked to see that Onion had his gang with him and they all had mischievous smiles. “Let me see if I remember correctly,” He pointed as a heavy set teen with freckles and tan skin. “Garbanzo.” He spoke confidently, getting a nod of confirmation.

Garbanzo.” the teen answered in a surprisingly deep voice.

“ Nice...Hmm, your sister not with you today, she’s doing well? ”Steven gave him a gentle smile when the boy nodded with a thumbs up. Steven nodded as he pointed to the tallest one there, standing right beside Garbanzo. A  dark skin teen with black coarse hair and a yellow cap. “I wanna say...Squash.” He stated unsure and received a tip of their hat and a bow, showing their squash on their head. Steven chuckled, “Can’t beat a classic. Now...” He turned to the shortest of their group, a girl with near peach tan skin, and slightly shaggy brown hair which she had in a ponytail. 

She  walked up beside Onion giving him a smile before leaning  on the taller boy, her  let arm draped over his right shoulder, before turning to Steven and blowing him a kiss, like last time they met.

“Soup, you’re Soup.” He affirmed, getting a nod from Soup. Steven arched an eyebrow at the hidden smile between Onion and Soup, but decided to ignore it “ So...Safe to assume you’re the Champs here?” He smirked at the four crossing his arms., and putting more  of his weight on his right leg.

“Meh.” Onion arched his eyebrow mirror Steven’s stance.

“Connie is really upping the difficulty.” Steven chuckled. “So..token challenge?”  He didn't get an answer, as Onion looked at him as if asking if that’s the course he wanted. “Token challenge.” Steven answered confidently.

Onion nodded before signalling to Garbanzo and Squash. The two walked up to Steven and onion before digging in their pockets and producing a pouch holding twenty-four tokens each, putting them in Steven and Onions hands respectively.

“Hmmm.. Let me guess, first one to lose their tokens; lose.” He gotta grin from Onion. “ Ok so..”  He was surprised when Onion pointed at him.

"So, I get to choose first, huh..Ok..Ok." Steven looked at the games. 'Most took at least three tokens or quarters, some four and others six So..should I start with a big game, or a small game..also.'  He took a look at the group as they huddled together.  'I doubt I will be just playing against Onion. I'll start with a couple of threes...a fighter. Gauge how they're going to play this.  From there, I can create a more thought out battle plan.'  Steven nodded before  smiling to himself. " Well look at me, thinking ahead like Heartberry. She rubbed off on me after all." He said to himself. " Hey! I chose." He announced getting the gang attention.  

Steven pointed his finger to a two player arcade cabinet, with the words 'lonely blade battlefield VII' on top of it. He looked as the gang turned to Squash, who cracked their knuckles; smirking. 

"So you’re  the fighter of the Gang. Ok let's go." 

The five of them walked to the machine and to Steven surprise, it was a two credit machine. Two tokens, didn't consider that. There might be some one credit machines as well.' Steven pondered. Also, the fact that Squash stepped up first is a little concerning, they might be very good and I'm a bit rusty.'As the two inserted the credits to start their game, he glanced to the side to see Garbanzo whispering something into his opponent's ear, getting a slightly annoyed sigh and nod. Steven turned his focus to the game, picking the samurai known as lonely blade.

Squash chose a dual chain welder, named Akika, a female rival of Lonely Blade from the TV series. 

After selecting a stage, the loneliest  moonlight field, The two began their match. to the untrained eye, Steven and Squash hands would be moving erratically, but to the gang, who watched Squash take down local pros, this was a match between two giants.  

Steven naturally defensive and patient fighting style translated into his gameplay as his Lonely blocked, evaded and parry the stage long assault of Squash's Akika and their whipping chain; slowly advancing upon them, throwing a boomerang blade at opportune times to put them on defensive even for a moment. Once within striking range, Steven purposely clashed a heavy slash against Squash's medium strike, throwing  them off guard and leaving them open

"Hm! Hm,"Lonely said the two crouching light hits tagged Akika, followed by a kick to her side, "Kakh!," two swiping slash that across the stomach made Akika yelp as they stumble back, leaving her defenseless, "HYAK!" Lonely step forward  before giving a heavy overhead slash, bouncing Akika off the ground, "BOOMERANG ASSAULT!" 

The gang watched in awe, as Lonely threw multiple boomerang blades at Akika, hitting the kunoichi hard and ending the fifteen hit combo, leaving the character with only 25 percent of life.  Akika safe rolled as they hit the ground and Lonely was already upon them with another heavy slash ready to take that 25. 

Squash wasted no time unleashing their super move or 'Lonely Arte'.

Just like with Boomerang assault, the screen blackened and time froze, as Akika  swung her chains in giant circles igniting them in a purple aura like flame."ASHURA…" Akika yelled as she hovered forward, hitting Lonely six times as she bulldozed him before knocking him into the sky with a reverse crescent kick; "STALKER!" She tossed the circles like a couple of discs and everyone  watched as Lonely looked on terrified as they collided with him in an explosion of purple, before landing back on to the stage, 40 percent life left.

"Counter hit super, with rage. Make sense." Steven muttered as his Lonely shot another boomerang blade at Squash's charging Akika. He smirked as he saw Akika jump up and divekick towards him. "Sorrow upper!" Lonely flashed gray as he leapt up with his blade, breaking through Akika's attack  and hitting her three times, taking the last of her life bar.

"Round 1 victor: Lonely Blade."the arcade cabinet announced as Lonely blade turned his back to the audience before Akika stood back up rotating her shoulders. The screen faded to black and back again each character in their starting position. "Round 2: Commence!"

Much like the first round, Steven defended himself agaInst Squash's relentless assault; this time Squash's Akika stayed up close, attacking with small punches and kicks to try create an opening. Steven growled as Squash blocked and parried his own attacks, before landing one on him, in the form of a shoulder throw taking thirty percent of his life.

 He tried to retaliate wit a sorrow upper, but was dodged and in turn lost thirty-five percent of his life to an air combo, that consisted of two medium, whipping strikes from Akika chains and a rising spin move called 'Wretched Revolution' Which allowed her chains to hit him five more times as she turned mid-air, before smacking him to the wall and making him bounce. He recovered mid-air and was immediately grabbed and slammed to the ground by Akika leaving him with five percent of life. 

"What, she can just meter-less cancel dash out of W.R now!?" Steven exclaimed, getting a grin from Squash. Steven nodded and kissed his teeth as his Lonely rolled behind Akika in a crouch. Akika swung her chain down in an overhead, then the screen turned a pale blue and rain fell as her chain met with his hilt and everyone watched as as Akika life bar was literally sliced to shreds as the screen went black and sounds of swords swine could be heard as white lines rapidly cut through the darkness, revealing Lonely standing alone looking to sky with tears in his eyes, Akika nowhere to be found.

"Lonely wins, Isolated finish!"

"Master! WHY!?"

Squash looked at Steven, their mouth small as they bit inside of their jaw, before giving Steven their other four tokens,  they were done. She nodded to Steven, but they were done, and went behind the counter, into the back.

"That was fun." Steven admitted " Can't  believe I pulled off his isolation move." Steven chuckled " So what's next? or are we still playing Lonely?"

Onion pointed to a racing machine called 'Escapades of Realms' that took six tokens. 'That would leave me at twenty tokens after this. If I win.' Steven thought as he took a seat in the arcade game. Garbanzo took the seat next to him.

"Garbanzo." He cockily announced as he chose his vehicle, a deep red souped-up viper. 

Steven coughed out a chuckle as he chose a pink Kawasaki ninja, with what looked like three rocket thrusters on the back of it. 

They allowed the game to choose the stage and Steven was wondering exactly  who created this game because they were on a course called planet G..Which looked eerily like Homeworld. 

'I'll look into that later.' Steven decided as the screen opened  up and the countdown began.

"3..2..1.Escape!" The game announced as Steven and Garbanzo both peeled off with a boost start, though Garbanzo timing was a bit more tighter, giving him a stronger, longer boost  compared to Stevens, allowing them to take 1st and 2nd respectively, out of the possible 8. 

Even though Garbanzo boost lasted a whole three seconds longer, Steven had better acceleration and a higher top speed, allowing him to shrink the gap between them little by little, second by second.  As they shot down the digital hard-light track four crystal boxes adorned with a question mark came into view, each a color of a diamond; something Steven chose to ignore at the moment.

He watched as Garbanzo took the blue one  on the far left, he himself took the yellow one and watched as a yellow square appeared at the top of his screen with items randomly flashing  through it before it stopped on a circuit of electricity. "Weapons ok. Wonder what it does?" He whispered as he headed towards Garbanzo  and the first corner of the track. 

Steven watched Garbanzo effortlessly drift around the corner and boosted out. Letting go of the acceleration before getting to the turn,Steven hit the break making a hard right, Unfortunately  his ninja had the worst handling on the track and made his turn wider than he expected, nearly throwing him off the track. Even though he made it around and got a little boost, he still failed to perform usable drift, lost the momentum he previously had, his gap widened again, and the CPU racers were closing in.

“Well let's see what you do?” Steven muttered as he pressed the weapon button on the arcade cabinet and observed as his character unleashed a yellow wave of electricity in a circular area. The attack hit a few of the CPU racers, causing them to sizzle and slowed them down to near halt.”Nice.”

Steven kept on his way, picking up speed as he passed the first checkpoint. As he continued he saw a ramp on the far right with three glowing arrows upon it. He rode upon it, being launched into the air by an auto boost up to a higher section of the track..Right into a blue cloud.

"Oh,  come on!" Steven combined as his view was now obstructed by the haze of blue.

"Banzo, Banzo, Banzo!" His opponent  laughed at Steven's misfortune, but kept his eyes on the road as he took Another box, this time a white one. 

Steven kept on as the haze cleared a few seconds later, revealing his a U -turn. "Crap!" The hybrid swore as he performed a drift a bit late and just remained on the track by luck drifting through a pink box and picking up what looked like a barrier.  

"WHOOOOOOOO!" The birthday gem cheered S he built up a full boost by the drift and released it right out of the turn, into the straightaway passed the second checkpoint; closing in on Garbanzo quickly. "Gonna getcha!"

"Banzo!"

"Gonna pass ya!"

BANZO!" Garbanzo challenged as he activated his weapon. 

Steven saw his screen flash white for a split second before his shield activated  automatically. "Hahaha! You are mine!"  Steven taunted as he passed Garbanzo.  

His laughter was cut off when they passed the last checkpoint, and pieces of the tracks started to fall at random places, as meteors started to fall upon them. 

Both boys were hilarious dodging every pitfall and falling rock as they battled for first. The numbered position alters between 1 and two  every second. it was gonna be a close one as they both ran through multiple boost pads and both received an item box.

Steven looked at his pink item and saw that he got three more boosts. Seeing that he had already pulled away from Garbanzo Steven held the boost just in case as he sped through the track.

"Noo!" Steven grimaced as he saw a tight turn. He drifted the best he could into the right turn and again to the left, being thrown further to the outside of the track. "Come on." Steven encouraged  himself as he drifted into a large swirling pathway, holding on for dear life. "Almost there!!"" Steven  called  out as his vehicle neared  the end of the spiral. Just as he was about to make it off. Garbanzo red viper simultaneously drifting and boosting in the inside corner.

Caught up to him.

Passed him.

and released a pink shockwave tossing Steven off the track as Garbanzo sped passed the last runway, through the finish line in first place. 

"That's cold." Steven shook his head as he was reseted on to the last runway  as five CPU' zoomed by. Using his triple boost he was able to secure fourth place. As he climbed out Garbanzo stopped him and pointed to their places and Steven's pouch. It took a moment but Steven got the gist of it and handed Garbanzo three of his tokens, who gave them to Soup.

"That was fun, a bit sneaky on your part but fun." Steven commented as he shared a fist pound with Garbanzo.

"Gar-ban-zozozo."  The victory playfully taunted, leaning back and rotating his shoulders in a victory dance getting an eye roll from Steven.

“Yeah yeah, still got two tokens over you guys.” Steven smirked before turning to soup.”I know it's my go but, Soup you can choose the next game." 

The girl bounced in place before grabbing Steven's wrist and leading him to a game called 'Meat, Beat, Megalomania!', a sequel to 'Meat Beat Mania'. The differences between the two games were immediate.

For one thing while Mania was one machine that allowed side by side play. Megalomania was two giant machines back to back giving the aura of a head-on match. Another difference is while Mania was all about matching the beat, Megalomania was about matching the beat while attacking and dodging your opponent.

Steven stepped on to the machine,observing  the set up. the eight arrow panels on the floor, the two had hawk drums sticks and the nine rhythm pads behind them, along east, west and south of the screen; A crazy and slightly overwhelming set up for sure. Putting another six tokens and hitting start on the machine, Steven stood waiting for Soup to choose the song since she was the designated  first player, Inserting her tokens while he was taking in the game setup.

With the song chosen, a song curiously enough named 'Waters of Megalovania', the screen went dark before opening up to an animated kitchen with pots and pans bouncing  around to nothing.

"Groove to the beat, Dodge!" 

Steven read out before a picture of the foot panel was shown, instructing him to step on whatever arrow was lit "Fair enough." Steven muttered as the music started up. A quick  pop beat and rhythm entered blared from the machine, urging him to hop in place  grooving to the music.  Until the drums and lyrics hit.

 Traveling through space and time

Everything's about to go down

Even if I told you that you'll

have a really bad time.

 ‘Those some quick arrows’ Steven thought as he saw he watched the arrows shoot down like bullets. “Down, up ,down, left, Right, upper-right…”Steven muttered as he stepped  to the beat being tossed at him. Getting calls of Good, great, or ok from the machine each step he took.

“You’re the beat master now. Attack!” The machine yelled, showing an animation of someone using the drumsticks to beat on the pad  when it glowed, “So my precision translates  to the speed of  the arrows I send to my opponent. Ok.” Steven  grabbed the drumsticks and immediately  the pads started to glow and the lyrics played

 Why'd you gotta play this trick

God I am so freaking sick of you

Stop pretending that you don't

know what you're doing here.

 Steven knocked all over hitting pad after pad as they glowed, “Hah, hah, hah,” He called as  he tried to be a quick as possible 

“Close one! Good shot! Good shot! Good shot! Perfect! Perfect!” The machine continued to call as Steven got the rhythm down of the song.

“Switch it up! Defend!”

Steven's eyes widened as the arrows started to come down again, and even quicker than last time. “Crap!”

 Why are you here anyways

Did you plan this for a long time

Killing every single soul here,

don't you feel kinda bad.

 Steven groaned in anxiousness as he stomped on the glowing panels trying to catch every arrow that came down as precisely as he could.

“Good!, Close! Close! Close! Good! Good! Bad! Bad! Perfect! Perfect!” The machine yelled  those three as Steven tried to catch up with Soup’s impressive playing.

“Stir up some trouble! Attack!”

“Thank god! “ Steven yelled as he got the drumsticks ready.

 Oh yeah you're so innocent

Imma show you what no mercy is

Hopefully you'll burn in hell

and can't ever come back.

 Steven hit the pads with perfect accuracy and speed as soon as he saw them light up.

“Perfect! Perfect! Perfect! Perfect! You’re on fire! You’re cooking now! Perfect!” The machine cheered on both of them as they continued to face off. “Go off! Attack and Defend!”

 Is killing everybody really oh

sooo, good!

Dah Dah-dah-Dah Dah-Dahdah!

 “What” Steven yelled as he grabbed the drumsticks and continued to defend against her arrows while sending his own. “ This is crazy!”  He exclaimed being drowned by the comments of the machine and the lyrics of the song..

 I can't understand

you well I don't want to.

Dah Dah-dah-Dah Dadah Dah!

 “This is a workout!” Steven yelled only to hear Soup laughing maniacally! The machine is now screaming out the word “Perfect!” As if it was on repeat.

 Couldn't you just leave us all in

peace down here!

Dah Dah-dah-Dah Dadah Dah!

 “Come on! Come on!” Steven pushed looking at how close their scores were  and the fact that he was behind by a measly two hundred points or two arrows.

 imma dunk you

so hard so you'll die down here!

Dah Dah-dah-Dah Dadah Dah!

 “Freestyle! Release everything!” The machine was announced as both the nine pads and the floor platform arrows all lit up. Allowing the player full reign, which Steven and Soup took total advantage. The two drummed on the pads and stomped all over the platform trying to overwhelm the other completely in a hailstorm of arrows as the song came to an end.

“Enough Cooking!” The machine yelled as the pads and floor stopped glowing, signaling the end of the match. Steven chuckled as he nearly tripped, feeling a bit fatigued after that game. He looked as the game tallied the totals.

“What?!”

“Ohhh.”

Both Steven and Soup were surprised to see they were tied at 9,967,342,678,800 points

“Meh meh.” Onion said as he pat both of them on their shoulder.  

“Good game, Soup, and nice song choice..Didn’t think you were an Undertale fan.”

Soup waved the Undertale comment off, but gave him a thumbs up all the same, before Onion gave her a one arm hug and the quickest of head pats, getting a smile from the girl.

Steven didn’t say anything at all.but did share a teasing knowing smirk with Garbanzo. “Ok, so that’s one win, one lost, and one tie. Also I still have two tokens over you. What game shall we settle this in Onion?” Steven taunted, lightheartedly.

“Meeeh.” Onion rubbed his chin before turning to Garbanzo and pointed to the gift. After  receiving a nod, Onion turned to the others and led them to an obstacle puzzle game called..

“Guiding the Guys.” Steven said in awe as he looked at the game.. The video game itself was tabletop and stretched two and a half feet. It’s controls were simply a rotating globe for movement, a button for jumping and one for stopping. The goal was to guide the guys or gals through the obstacle course as quickly and safely as possible. The one with the most teammates at the end wins. On the chance that both players have the same amount teammates left they will determine the winner by time..

“The final game. You definitely choose something sentimental” Steven stated matter of factly, “  six tokens too .” Steven stated as he placed his six tokens in the machine along with Onion. 

“Guiding the guys.” The machine yelled to the two showing its title screen. After selecting the stage, a lava pit. The two were ready to go, Steven guys vs Onion gals..” Ready, Set,Go!” The machine yelled, urging the two to start rolling the  globe forward making their groups move forward along the path,

Steven looked over at Onion.s team and watched as the boy continued to roll  the globe forward, making his team run forward instead of walking. Steven started to follow his example and continued to roll forward allowing them to run.  Steven rolled the globe to the left directing them as he caught up to Onion’s team. In front of t both teams were the first of a few obstacles, fire balls spring  fort and on to the track. Steven continued his way as he guided his team through the path, stopping before getting hit by a stray fireball., rolling left to get them through quicker.by making the run.

“Stop” Steven paused the team, before they got hit by a stray fireball, rolling them passed it; nearly making it through, when one of his guys got knocked off.

“Dave guy has fallen, Help him up!?”

Steven ignored the machines call, after all this time he still though that Dave-guy was a piece of clod, 

Onion gals ignored him as well

“Dave has been eliminated.” The machine stated in a somber voice, no effect to either players. “Who cares about Dave guy?” the machine asked.

“No one.” Steven answered coolly, getting a nod from Onion.

 After getting past that obstacle  The two teams raced through a zigzag path  Where another  obstacle  was waiting. This time simple falling boulders that rolled  or bounced down towards them

“Can they use their special skills in this?” Steven asked only to get a head shake from Onion. “ Great,” Steven said sarcastically as he tried to time when they should run and when   they should pause. He turned to Onions' team and watched as Onion dodged all the boulders without trouble. “ Oh I got this' ' Steven exclaimed as he moved cautiously running after successfully dodging a bouncing boulder. Another boulder rolled towards them and Steven maneuvered them so they walked on the very edge of the platform being careful not to let anyone fall over. As that passed he continued the path and pace and very soon they caught up with onions gals.. The rest of the way was a literal climb to the  goal up a mountain. Steven wasted no time directing his team to climb up. As quickly as possible. He still kept caution as he selected foothold after foothold for his team when ranger gut made a mistake and grabbed a loose rock causing a digital rock-slide that took out both teams except for Ranger guy and Karen. For the gals. 

Steven and onion rolled their globes as Ranger and Karen climbed at top speed , The two closed up to the flag, the goal and at the last moment, The mountain erupted and tossed the players into the air with the flag. as they plummeted Steven maneuvered ranger guy perfectly and rolled forward.

“Winner GUYS!” The arcade yelled as the game came to an end and with it, the token challenge in Steven's favor.

“That was a close one,” Steven said as he looked at onion who along with his gang, was clapping his hands. “Aww thanks guys, it was a fun challenge.”

Onion nodded before looking towards Garbanzo who nodded. He walked up to Steven and produced his prize.,The next part of the code along with his birthday gift from them. 

Steven took the pink piece of paper and sniffed it, allowing a smile to spread on his face as Connie came to mind. Unfolding the paper, he read the piece and almost laughed at the irony “4”  .

“For love?” Steven said as he blushed a bit, whatever the code was it seemed to be romantic, something she claims she was horrible at.

“Meh.” Onion pointed to the box and then to Steven.

“You got me a gift guys?” Steven said as he lifted the box a bit and saw three titles ‘Star Guy’, ‘Star Gal’ & ‘Star Person’.  He smirked “A New Guy and Gal that’s cool. Plus ‘person’ didn’t even know they made a person series.Still  never heard of…” Steven froze as he looked at the three new official pieces of his collection. He turned to Onion, ready to cry. “Onion. Bro. How..You serious?”

 “Meh!” Onion nodded, smirking. As He watched Steven look at the new part of his collections in awe. Star guy, gal and person. As the world will know them as. Truthfully though...

“You got the company of ‘Guys’, to make Me, Connie, and Stevonnie into collectibles.” Steven  said in complete amazement They looked just like them. 

StarGuy had his exact outfit with his shield out standing tall. StarGall had Connie's looks, sword and smirk. Wearing her blue hoodie and slacks with a star bralette in her hair. Star Person was Stevonnie through and through, wearing  their combo  of steven black shirt under Connie hoodie , both which fit Stevonnie like a crop top,and  a pair of Steve jeans which were jean shorts for Stevonnie. All in all they were perfect.

“Thank you, Onion.” Steven said as he hugged Onion 

“Hap-py Birth-day, Steven.” Onion muttered as  he broke out of the hug. Smiling at his idol he looked at the dolls.

[cyberramblings]

Sonic & Tails: Ideas for a new Sonic Plot and Partner System

So, first off, there is a game called Sonic & Knuckles. It is basically just the second half of the overly ambitious Sonic 3. It is not Sonic 4, but it is a standalone game. Anyways, there isn’t a game called Sonic & Tails yet, so let’s make that happen.

Regardless of that, I wanted to talk about my vague conceptualizations of a Sonic game plot. I WANTED to continue my thoughts on other Sonic characters, but my stupid brain can’t stop thinking about “what if Sonic and Tails fought?” Again, this is getting into some borderline fanfiction territory, but I write the blog AND the rules.

Piggybacking off my previous post detailing my thoughts on Tails, I had said that I liked the idea of Tails taking over Robotnik’s lab after he is defeated once and for all (or temporarily, I don’t expect Sonic Team to kill off the main villain, as much as I’d pseudo-ironically love Sonic Adventure 3 to open with Eggman’s funeral while Sound of Silence plays like the overly edgy funeral scene from Watchmen 2009).

Now, this is also getting into some serious Marvel Civil War or Batman v. Superman territory, but stick with me. I feel like one of the most underutilized aspects of Sonic as a series is the cast of characters. Maybe it is just me, but I feel like Sonic fans want to see their favorite obscure character return or see as many characters as possible. Even the most trivial characters have a cult following in the weird Sonic fandom. It was really cool to see the obscure Sonic the Fighters characters return for a boss fight in Sonic Mania, even if they were just an illusion. I am proposing a Sonic game where nearly every characters returns to make up the boss fights.

Now, the first issue with this idea is that typically the “rival” battles in Sonic are a bit hit or miss. Fights against playable characters in the Adventure IMO felt pretty flat and uninteresting. Now, 2D Sonic has some better boss battles against the likes of Metal Sonic and Knuckles and the same goes for Generations, so maybe those could be emulated. Regardless of gameplay, I’d like to see all the weirdies like the playable cast of Sonic Heroes, The Fighters, Emerl, Blaze, Gamma E-102, etc. return at least as boss fights, if not as playable characters, even if they are just piloting the mechs that would typically be piloted by Eggman. I get zero excitement from fighting Eggman anymore, but just put Rouge’s model in the cockpit and suddenly its way cooler with more potential for unique boss dialogue.

So far I have proposed a Civil War-style plot where Tails goes a little bit off the deep end and a Sonic game where the boss fights are all the beloved recurring characters. It should be obvious how these two parts fit together. Perhaps the dual story structure of Adventure 2 is overplayed by this point, but obviously it would fit in with these ideas.

To get into the nitty gritty and provide an example of what I am imagining, consider Metal Sonic. I can easily see a plot that starts with Tails reconfiguring Metal Sonic to be “good”. This bring back a classic character in a new way and allows for a lot of angles for the plot to go, of course borrowing from various Iron Man plots and the Buffy-bot from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

One idea from Sonic Adventure that I would really like to see return is the ever-evolving nemesis concept. Even if Sega never really brings back Chaos, I’d love to see a rival that increases in power as the game goes along. This could totally tie in with my previous idea, with Metal Sonic becoming more powerful over the course of the game, possibly with the acquisition of the Chaos Emeralds like Chaos does. Metal Sonic already has been shown to take on a few different forms, such as at the end of Sonic Heroes.

Another story beat that I’d like to see replicated is the end of Adventure 2 where Sonic and Shadow have to team up. Now, in this hypothetical Sonic & Tails game, that would obviously be Sonic and Tails teaming up, but I’d also love to see them bust out Mecha Sonic as a kind of retconned prototype of Metal Sonic from Sonic 2/3 as a last resort too.

I also love the story beat of all the playable characters at the end of Sonic Adventure bringing the depleted Chaos Emeralds to Sonic for the final fight. I would love to see something like this but a little more weighty. I have a clear mental image of something like the Breath of the Wild loading screen that shows your level of progress though the game, but instead with Sonic endlessly walking towards the camera as the game loads, surrounded by more and more characters walking towards the screen as you rescue/recruit them.

Personally, it seems like Sonic games struggle to balance multiple playable characters, so I’d settle for something like Advance 3 where you pick a partner that enables new moves. I would prefer to find a way to include every possible character as playable, but I would settle for a 3D Sonic game where Sonic (and maybe characters that control near identically like Metal Sonic, Shadow, Silver, Blaze, etc.) is the only playable character, with characters like Tails, Knuckle, Amy, Big, etc. are relegated to the partner role, but swappable.

Playable Characters:

Sonic: Everything normal

Metal Sonic: Just make him control like he does in Adventure 2: Battle, so faster than Sonic but with less moves. I don’t think Metal Sonic has ever been canonically playabe, only appearing as a boss fight or playable in racing games or bonus modes, so that would be my biggest request.

Shadow: Just Sonic but slipperier and please give him a teleport instead of a homing attack

Silver: Again, just Sonic but make his double jump more offensive to represent his telekinetic abilities

Blaze: Her name is BLAZE and she has FIRE POWERS in Rush and Rush Adventure, so please just make her control like Sonic but with a fiery homing attack or her fire hover from Rush

Espio: Just give him some kind of limited invisibility or maybe the tornado attack as a reference to Heroes

Mighty: He could probably be thrown in with his moves from Mania, but this is reaching

Jet: Probably asking too much, but he’s never been playable in non-racing game, so even seeing him with his board in a main game as a kind of joke would be cool

Assist Characters:

Tails, Cream, Charmy: Obviously, limited flight with slightly different characteristics. Cream could alternatively have the Chao attack from Advance

Knuckles, Rouge, Tikal: Either a limited glide or the digging

Amy: Piko Piko Hammer as an attack or as a big jump. She could also maybe be a Sonic-like characters, but I feel like she was shoehorned into the speed role in Heroes

Big: I just like seeing this dumb idiot return. It seems like asking a lot for the fishing rod to be used as a grappling hook, so maybe he could just have a big area attack

Fang/Knack, Bark, Bean: I mean, maybe just show up and fistfight some enemies?

Vector: Something music based, realistically

Chaos: Again, this is reaching, but maybe this ties into Tails taking over Eggman’s research

E-1XX Alpha, Gamma, Omega, etc: It is asking a lot to have all the robots return, but I’d love to see them all as slight variants of “shoot a bunch of missiles” or limited hovering

Omochao: Personally I’d love to see this little guy as an assist who just never shuts up, maybe with some hidden secret-unlocking potential

Vanilla: She doesn’t have a lot of game appearances, I’d take anything

G.U.N. Commander: Again, I just think this would be kinda funny. He could summon robots or just fire missiles

Eggman Nega: Not sure why he would help the main characters, but I’m always rooting for weird stuff like this

Wave, Storm: They could function like Tails/Knuckles or grant a temporary board for tricks or whatnot, maybe like the skateboard powerup from Sonic Generations

Tails Doll: This is dumb, but it would be fun to see as a little throwaway easter egg

So, that was a bunch of random nonsense directly from my brain, but you probably get the idea: find a way to include a lot of characters in the plot and the gameplay. Do I expect any of this to ever happen? No. And honestly, I’d prefer to see another game where I can actually play as characters like Rouge, the robots, Amy, and Cream.

ONE LAST THING: There should really be a Sonic rhythm game. They have so much music, both the classic songs as well as the Crush 40 songs, with tons of remixes of both already existing and even more possible. It would fit perfectly with the gameplay of Sonic, you could just have the notes appear as obstacles or powerup boxes. There are a million different ways to slice it, but it just makes too much sense to ignore. I don’t have enough ideas to make a separate post, though. Maybe I’ll make a playlist sometimes of songs I’d like to see included, but the issue is that it would be way too many songs. As with the main point of this post, I would love to see many different playable characters with very slight changes to their properties.

ONE LAST LAST THING: Since Sega hates localizing Puyo Puyo games, they should just make a new Mean Bean Machine with HD graphics and all the various Sonic characters represented somehow and then release it internationally either as Mean Bean Machine or just Sonic Puyo Puyo. Again, I didn’t have enough ideas for a whole post.

FINAL FINAL FINAL RAMBLES: I kinda wanna play Sonic 06 since I actually just recently found out that Rouge, Omega, and Blaze are playable, but the disc is 20 bucks at gamestop for 360. I also kinda wanna play Unleashed, but not enough to buy it. I really get more excited when more characters are playable, which makes me wish I enjoyed playing Sonic Battle more. I also have my eye on Chronicles if I can ever get the patience to actually sit down and play it. At this point, I should just make my own dang original game or story inspired by the things I like about Sonic.

[letterstothemidnightsociety]

It’s 2020 and my anxiety level is so high, I grind my teeth while I’m asleep and awake!  But let’s ignore all that and instead focus on critically analyzing America’s premiere soap opera for monster hunting! It’s Supernatural! 

As you may have already guessed, I watch a lot of TV. And in the Year of Our Troubles, 2020, when I’m encouraged to stay home and indulge in my favorite pastime for the health of the nation, I watch a hell of a lot of TV. When you watch that much TV, you start to notice the rhythm and the flow of how seasons of television progress. You probably notice it too, even if you don’t think about it as much as I do. 

Like, you know that episode that happens right near the end of the season where all the characters are happy? They’ve overcome a whole bunch of obstacles and they’re finally winning and they can see that light at the end of the long tunnel? You know the one I’m talking about. That’s the moment that you, as an audience member, know things are about to go downhill very quickly

Like when Poldark smiles over something and you’re just like, ah yes, I’ll prepare for the funeral. 

Season 1 of Supernatural is like a case study of the rhythm that makes a network show work. There’s this wave effect throughout the season, building the tension up for a few episodes and then sliding through the next handful. Look at the first five episodes: they’re all about holding our breath, we’re gasping at every new turn - death and ghosts and monsters and Family Drama and Bloody Mary and PREMONITIONS AND THEN we let it out over the next three. 

Aaaaaaand exhale!

This first season especially, but I’d argue the first three definitely, you can see this pattern repeated over and over again - building the tension, ramping the horror, bringing it to a major Mythos or Series Arc Moment and then releasing all that tension with a cool-down filler/self-contained episode. 

And that’s where I am in the show now. We just had a major series arc episode with “Shadow” - John finally reunites with his sons, the villain is revealed (Meg and also the demon that killed their mom), and the endgame (for this season at least) is in sight. BUT! We’re a network show with 22 episodes to fill, and we can’t just head straight into the Finale Fight now, we’re only on episode 17! I mentioned in my last post that getting the team together again for all of 6 minutes and 44 seconds (yes, I did go back and count) felt like a slap in the face. I assumed it would have something to do with Jeffrey Dean Morgan’s shooting schedule, but looking at it again, it probably had more to do with the fact that it was too soon to bring John Winchester back as a major player.

So our next episode, our breather episode after all this High Drama, should feel a little disappointing to anyone caught up in the arc of the season. But. BUT. But. The next episode is “Hell House."

Yes, this is a filler, but this is filler done RIGHT. I mean maybe it’s just cuz it’s 2020 and I’m very tired and sad and scared all the time, but I was SO HAPPY to see Ed and Harry again, guys you don’t even know. Guys, the GHOSTFACERS ARE HERE!

And man, I am SO glad that this is a recurring side team that shows up throughout the series. Pease no one tell me that they die in a later season, I’ll find out eventually, I just can’t handle it now. 

They are the anti-Sam and Dean. They have no idea what they’re getting into, they have no idea how to hunt anything, but they’re here to get famous and that’s just...it’s beautiful guys. Just beautiful. 

Plus, you have this soft b-story line where Sam and Dean get to be Real Brothers for a hot second and prank the shit out of each other the whole episode. It’s like even Sam and Dean are saying, yeah, we need a break from all the feelings, let’s put itching powder in each other’s boxer briefs. I want to say that I was really annoyed the first time I watched this and did not care for these shenanigans, but this time around, it was a REAL JOY. 

I’m also not mad about this.

And this breather feeling sort of carries over into the next few episodes. Sort of.  

“Something Wicked” is another feelings-heavy episode. Backstory! Child-eating Monster! Tiny!Dean! I think Dean maybe cries again? Or just does that thing where he stares into the middle distance, all pain and torment and chiseled jaw line and I’m doing it again, I’msorrynotsorry. 

You know. THIS face.

All of these things lead to an episode that has a lot of character development and strengthens the bond between Sam and Dean. Sam literally validates Dean’s whole existence by apologizing for fighting him on this job and then saying “I know I’ve given you a lotta crap for following Dad’s orders, but I know why you do it.” It’s a lot. It’s a big moment from Sam, who hasn’t really reconciled with John yet and who’s still hoping for a future that isn’t all about killing every evil sonuvabitch they can find. It’s a big moment for Dean, too, since his main motivation is protecting his family and (from his limited point of view) that family keeps trying to leave him. And while we do get some insight into the f-ed up childhood that was forced upon our eponymous heroes, there’s nothing really driving the season’s plot forward in this episode. 

Same goes for “Provenance”. This episode is another good horror episode. I mean, even if that painting wasn’t possessed by a murder orphan, it is deeply haunted and I hope props burned it when the production wrapped. And what is it about ghost children particularly that’s upsetting? Is it the size? Is it the fact that their eyes are too big for their heads at that age? I mean, it probably has something to do with perverted innocence and goodness blah blah blah, but also their hands are tiny and so all the knives look bigger.

Same, Sam.

Aside from that, Sam gets another nice growth moment where he gets to imagine a world after Jessica. He’s been so fixated on finding Jessica’s killer - I’d argue more so than his mother’s killer albeit they are the same entity. That’s not a judgement against him, mind. He knew and loved Jessica, he did not know his mother, so I’m not mad about that character decision. But the show is really wrapping up the Jessica plot line because that won’t have legs in a season 2. And that’s harsh, so I’ll temper it with the fact that Sam, as a human being, is getting to the final stages of processing his grief and starting to move on with his life. Plus, I think that Dean wingmanning his brother is adorable and I love it. Good Brothering, Show! 

But nothing in this episode has anything to do with the killer Sam’s been fixating on, so there’s no progression for the season’s main arc. 

Last but certainly not least on this disc of my season 1 box set is “Dead Man’s Blood.” My notes on this episode include the key phrases “I’m pretty sure this episode is...dumb?”, “ I...do not care for vampires,” and then like, two lines later, “Nope. Still don’t care for these vampires.” They’re just making up some random-ass lore and their fashion sense is SO 2006 and I just...I just hate them. 

I hate them SO MUCH.

BUT! That’s not the point of this episode. The point of this episode is to point us towards the season finale. FIRST, we start to see a little bit more of the world that the Winchesters inhabit. We actually meet another hunter, Daniel Elkins. He dies immediately, but that’s a cold open for ya. And when Sam and Dean go to investigate Elkin’s death, John comes back, this time for good (haha, lol). We get a real taste of the family dynamics in this episode - John and Sam fight and come together and fight and come together and Dean’s standing there kinda like, SPONGEBOB! 

You know, Plankton! Krabs! Dean Winchester! Right? Anybody?

All sides have good arguments, and I appreciate that none of the conflict between the the three of them feels forced, or at least, it doesn’t feel forced this watch. The fights all come from deep character places that have been established through the whole season. They’re natural progressions of what we’ve come to expect of these characters. 

And finally, most importantly, John knows how to defeat the demon that killed their mother. Enter Deus Ex Colt Revolver. 

Colt Revolver Ex Machina?

CAN I just take a break for a second to say that BOTH Elkin AND John were ready to WASTE PRECIOUS COLT BULLETS on VAMPIRES, who can be killed IN OTHER WAYS?? Listen, you make a magic gun that only works with these  like, 5 BULLETS, and then you just THROW AWAY A BUNCH OF SHOTS, GUYS??? ALSO, what the HELL does Haley’s Comet and The Alamo have to do with this STUPID GUN??? I JUST- you know what, we don’t have time for all that. 

Attaining the Colt is the brick they drop on the gas pedal to drive us into the season finale of season 1. 

Wasting a some PRECIOUS F*CKIN’ BULLETS, GUYS.

When you look at the season’s pacing at the outset, it seems like it shouldn’t work. I was that person who felt disappointed in each episode where it became clear we were definitely on a side quest, not the main quest.  Watching it now, though, I think that pacing is important. Yeah, the Monster-of-the-Week episodes are a little hit and miss, but sometimes you have to think of a TV season like a marathon and not a sprint. There will be times when you pick up the pace, yes, but it’s a long race and you’re gonna need some periods of recovery if you’re gonna make it to the finish line. And frankly, a lot of those side quest episodes ended up being my favorite episodes of the entire series. 

NOW. I doubt you would see this sort of structuring in a show today, specifically in shows that don’t get a 22 - 24 episode order. You MAY get, MAY, a Ghostfacers-type episode thrown in after a major emotional climax for that breather effect. MAY. But if Supernatural was made today - probably for an online streaming site, probably with only 10 - 13 season order - I don’t think you’d see episodes like “Something Wicked” or “Provenance” or “Faith”. The nice thing about short seasons is that you can keep the storytelling focused and tight, but I also think that can be a weakness as much as it is a strength. What do those three episodes all have in common? They’re strong on character and relationship development. We, the audience, get a deeper understanding and appreciation of the Winchesters and how they work and grow as a unit in these episodes. So if we’ve watched this far, through bugs and ghost trucks, through all their little victories and major setbacks, we’re well and truly invested in how the season is going to end. 

I’m not saying you can’t have big character moments in a shorter season. And I’m not saying that a show more focused on plot, on the What Happens rather than the Who It Happens To, is a bad thing. But watching this season over again in comparison to present day television seasons, it’s highlighted what Supernatural did right. On this side of the series, it’s easy to see why the show went on for another 14 years.

[elopez7228]

Scenic Route 6/47

Read on AO3 : https://archiveofourown.org/works/18268208/chapters/43229774 

Start over : https://elopez7228.tumblr.com/post/620919089893933056/scenic-route-0147

“Why name her BB8?”

“She was the eighth of a litter—we tried to call her anything else but that’s all she would respond to, so BB8 stuck,”

Rey was happy to give the dog a few scratches. The big ball of affection didn’t hesitate to throw an old tennis ball at her feet, along with a sock, a rubber duck, and even a fork she had pilfered from the kitchen in place of a stick.

The duck squeaked as she grabbed it, and Rey burst into a laugh of pure joy. How could she have been so mistrustful of an old woman who owned such an adorable dog?

“Why did your brother leave you his dog?”

“She was injured by a hit-and-run and I rushed her to the vet, but he eventually had to leave her to get back to his professional obligations at the time. It hurt him to leave her behind but we both knew she was in good hands. Since then I’ve been looking for an opportunity to take her back, but I’m in no shape to make the journey myself anymore.”

Rey said nothing as she watched the charming dog go round and round on the carpet as she waited for Rey to play with her some more. Leia put down her steaming teacup.

“So, Rose sent you, right? Are you close friends?”

“Not at all, actually. I just happened to be at her café at the right time. We talked a bit, I mentioned my travels and my personal life, and she said you have a job to give me,” Rey chuckled, going a little red.

“I was worried it was a con—drugs, guns, something illegal. But everything’s alright, I love BB8. I’d love to take her on the route with me, she’ll be good company. Always a good idea to have a dog when travelling solo. “

“Well, I’m not sure she’ll be an effective guard dog, you know,” Leia smiled.

“Oh, no worries, her presence is enough, at worst she’ll be more bark than bite! How urgently would I have to take her to San Francisco?”

“She’s already six months late, a few more weeks wouldn’t matter…are you comfortable with the detour?”

Rey tucked a lock of hair behind her ear as she adjusted her topknot, ruminating on her response.

“I wanted to go up to Yellowstone National Park, and then Montana. Take a trek, do some rafting or some horse riding, something like that. I also wanted to check out some ghost towns, see a rodeo, maybe a powwow? Then make my way down to Idaho and Nevada. Take my time, you know. Would that be a problem for BB8?”

“Not as long as she makes it back to Luke—my brother—in one piece,” Leia waved a hand dismissively, “I’m sure it’s going to be a lovely trip. I wish I was your age so I could go globetrotting too,”

Rey laughed, glancing from one photo to another. “Weren’t you in the army? I’m sure you traveled a lot…on that note, Rose mentioned a car?”

Leia got up and motioned for Rey to follow her. “Yes, it too belonged to my brother. You’ll need to take it to California too, and it’s not doing quite as well as our friend BB8. I’m afraid it’s not exactly the most recent make and model,”

Rey followed Leia outside the house. They were taking a walk, it seemed. BB8 trotted along happily, occasionally snapping at the insects circling in the plants. It sat in a five by five plot of land in the middle of the garden on the other side of the house. Rey had mistaken it for a supplementary garbage disposal unit. An oldsmobile cruiser—exactly like the ones that at one point had been the very height of the 70s. It screamed vintage, from the boxy silhouette to the oversized bonnet which was as long as the boot itself.  The car had been white at some point, though the paint had certainly faded. It was complete with brown accents and a classic wood motif on the side, which made Rey cringe. She turned to Leia with a disapproving look.

“You have got to be joking here.  I thought your brother left you this hunk of junk to dispose of at some junkyard, not to give right back to him,”

“Well then,” Leia huffed, “all the more reason to do it, right? You know me, if he wanted to make a trash compactor out of me I really want to see his face when this baby shows up in his driveway again.”

Rey wasn’t sure if Leia was about to make a huge mistake. “This thing surely isn’t functioning anymore, is it? You’d make more money selling it to a junkyard than letting it collect dust in your garden.” Rey looked around again, “You could plant a lovely vegetable garden or whatnot instead, I’m sure you have a green thumb,”

“It was my husband’s,” Leia said wistfully, and Rey realized that she wasn’t kidding. “It was his pride and joy, he would fix it up himself back in the day. He loved that thing so much. And the life we had, all the crazy things we would do in that car…I didn’t have the heart to scrap it, it would be like killing him all over again.”

“He died? I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you—“

“It’s fine,” Leia said, running her hand across the side panel in a gentle caress. “You had no way of knowing. He and my brother went the whole nine yards in this thing. It’ll get back to him somehow,”

“Alright, fine,” Rey conceded, “I understand, I’ll take the hunk of junk and the dog to San Francisco, no worries.  Do you have the papers as well?”

“Yes, they’re inside, let’s head back,”

After reviewing the vehicle registration and the owner’s manual (all of which were still up to date, not that she would have bet so) and following multiple assurances and other formalities, Rey found herself feeling something new inside. This would give her the solo road trip she always wanted, and an adorable dog to keep her company, in literally the most vintage American car she could have ever imagined.  She had always been a good driver and a car person, so she looked forward to driving a proper stick shift. It had been a good while since she last drove one and it only added to the excitement of the trip. Against all odds and expectations, Rey was actually quite a clever and resourceful  mechanic, thank you very much. She knew how to change the tires and the oil, and how to identify the source of most engine trouble. Simple things, really, but things that she would almost certainly have to do with this car. As for the rest of it, she would definitely have to invest in a good pair of sunglasses and a very wide-brimmed hat because the interior wasn’t air-conditioned at all. And water. Lots and lots of water. Maybe even a jerry or two of motor oil and petrol. And an emergency kit in case she really did get a flat tire. She was finally beginning to get goosebumps about this. Nevertheless, one detail remained to be settled.

“Pardon me if I’m being too frank Leia, but Rose mentioned some compensation, is that right?”

Leia was currently reassembling a dossier full of documents that Rey had decided not to take. She put it down gently. “Yes, I’ll be providing you with 500 dollars up front for your services. That should also cover the gaz change. Luke will give you the rest once he’s sure that BB8 is safe and sound.”

One thousand dollars wouldn’t cover all Rey’s costs, what with meals and motels and extra gaz. But she could make do, considering that a few days ago she was looking at spending twice as much just to loan a car. It would work out. It didn’t have to be a job per se, it could be…community service, absolutely.

Rey nodded, and Leia closed the dossier with a soft click.

“I’ll leave tomorrow then,” Rey said, deep in thought, “It’ll give me a whole day to make some purchases for the rest of the trip. Would you mind if I took the car? It could be a test drive as well…”

The afternoon was filled with what could only be called intense shopping. Her list consisted of mechanic’s tools, camping gear, sunblock, ration packs, a first-aid kit, dog biscuits, and even a cheap mountable stereo. She then purchased several CDs for the long road ahead, including a three disc deluxe album of the one and only KYLO & THE KNIGHTS OF REN, which she would no doubt regret impulse-buying later.

The car was at best dusty and stale, despite the little tree-shaped air freshener hanging from the front mirror. Too little too late to undo a decade’s worth of rotting in Leia Skywalker’s garden.  Rey took it upon herself to take it to a carwash and have it cleaned from the inside out. There was no telling what they would find. Earlier she had found a toy in between the back seats—a shiny red racecar that she’d shoved into the GB.

Getting ready took up most of her afternoon. She packed the car up with all her supplies and even made a little “doggie corner” for BB8 in the back seat. It was complete with a crochet blanket in case she got cold, a food bowl, her squeaky rubber duck, a tennis ball, and a single shoe. Everything was ready by the time that Leia called them back inside for dinner.

It was as though Rey was at her own grandmother’s house, despite the fact that she had only really known the woman for a couple of hours. She came back into the cottage to find a steaming bowl of spaghetti waiting for her. After a long day’s work, it was truly heaven.

“So, do you know Rose well, then?” Rey managed to ask after she had finished stuffing her face and regaining her strength.

Leia took a while to respond, prompting Rey to wonder what was so hard about the question. Finally, Leia raised her eyes after a long moment of reflection. “She and I both operate in a charity organization based out of Denver. That’s how I know her.”

“Oh! What kind of charity? meals for the poor or something?”

“Not exactly…”

Rey waited politely for an explanation but Leia seemed reluctant to answer. She pressed on, “Well? Come on now, surely you could elaborate a little?”

“It’s called Earth Soldiers,” Leia responded suddenly. She wasn’t smiling anymore, much to Rey’s surprise. “You could call us a group of…hardcore environmental rights activists.”

“So like GreenPeace? Protesting power plants-and chaining  yourself to property sort of activists?”

“Sure, you can think of it like that if you want,”

Rey was all full belly and drooping eyelids by then; she failed to notice the tension building in the room.

“But isn’t that dangerous at your age? Can you still attend the happenings or whatever they are?” Rey continued.

Leia’s gaze hardened imperceptibly. “I’ve spent my whole life fighting and I want to go down swinging,” she replied.

“Ah, I see. I imagined that after a life as full as yours you would have liked to take a break, but everyone is different, I guess,”

In response Leia simply began picking up her own empty plate so that she could start attending to the dishes. Rey tried her best to help by drying the dishes afterward and putting them away. Later, after spending a few minutes on her phone, Rey yawned loudly and excused herself for the night.

“Sorry, I should probably get to bed. May I set up the camping tent in the garden?”

“Just set up in the living room, that way you won’t get cold or have to take down a tent tomorrow. And you won’t have to hear the drunk ravings of the neighbors next door,”

“Alright, BB8 and I will leave after breakfast in the morning, goodnight Leia,”

“Good night, young lady.”

Rey rested her head on her new inflatable camping pillow, curled up snugly in her brand new sleeping bag. The carpeted floor would do for now. She was going to have to get used to sleeping on the floor soon. BB8 curled up into a ball too, sleeping on the couch after realizing that her dinner bowl was nowhere to be found (it was still in the car). Rey fell into a deep sleep. This was the first night she had not been anxious about the future, barring of course the night she was too drunk to remember—that didn’t count.

Late into the night, a coyote wandered the sleeping trailer park, an unfortunate shrew in its jaws.

Much further away, in the heart of Denver, Ben Solo performed another concert at Howl at the Moon, and Rose left the night shift at the Night Owl Café to her sister, Paige.

Their next door neighbor George Watto had started his nightly ramblings no later than three in the morning, eventually falling asleep at his own front door, fully dressed and armed with a beer bottle like a true American hero. In the quiet little cottage next door, Rey slept soundly in the living room while Leia found no sleep in the bedroom next to it.

Tomorrow, she would send that girl off to Luke in San Francisco. It was too late to go back. After years of careful political maneuvering, her entire life’s work hinged on the whims of a random British tourist who decided to vacation here of all places. What if they discovered her little honey pot scheme? What if they laid a hand on…

It was somewhere in the middle of this tiring web of entirely disquieting thoughts that Leia Skywalker fell into a short and fitful slumber.

[biscuitreviews]

Biscuit Reviews Final Fantasy VII Remake

For many people Final Fantasy VII was a gateway to the JRPG genre and the Final Fantasy series. Final Fantasy VII was actually the second game in the series I played and I loved this just as much as Final Fantasy VIII. In fact, I used to have a Spring Break tradition when I was in high school where I would play Final Fantasy VII from start to finish. The original Final Fantasy VII hasn’t aged well in the visual department, but the gameplay is still really solid. The Materia system is still regarded as one of the best advancement systems in any RPG, and its influence is still felt today in many titles. I still remember 15 years ago when the PS3 tech demo came out showing the newly remade intro to Final Fantasy VII and like many, I too wondered if this was the beginning of a remake of the game. 

Square Enix would deny this saying it was just a demo of the PS3 capabilities and rather than remake the game, they decided to expand on Final Fantasy VII, with a movie (Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children), a mobile game (Before Crisis: Final Fantasy VII), a PS2 third person shooter (Final Fantasy VII: Dirge of Cerberus), and a PSP Prequel (Final Fantasy VII: Crisis Core). All these entries were not great, with the exception of Crisis Core, which followed SOLDIER Zack Fair and how he kickstarted the events that occured in Final Fantasy VII. 

Like many fans, I too entered the Final Fantasy VII Remake with extreme caution. My main worry wasn’t if content would change, but rather if everyone’s personality would mirror Advent Children. That was my biggest concern because Advent Children really brought down the cast quite a bit. Needless to say, they more or less kept in line with how they were originally portrayed in the original game with some extra moments where they all shine.

I want to first mention that as you probably know that the Remake only covers the Midgar section of the original story, which consisted of five in-game hours of the original. I do also want to mention that there will be some spoilers, but I won’t be spoiling the new things in the Remake, but rather spoiling the instances that the Remake shares with the original. I will have a spoiler discussion at the end which will be marked by the “Keep Reading” cut. Final Fantasy VII Remake will follow a episodic release and I have to say, Square missed the opportunity to call this Final Fantasy VII Remake: Disc 1. Then again, maybe that could have potentially caused confusion towards potential new fans.

You are Cloud Strife, an EX-SOLDIER and mercenary hired by AVALANCHE to assist them in their mission to take down the Shinra Corporation. Cloud will meet various allies to help on his journey that include: Barret, the leader of AVALANCHE, Tifa, a bar owner and member of AVALANCHE, and Aerith, a flower girl from the Sector 5 Slums.

Many classic characters get expanded upon as well. Biggs, Wedge, and Jessie get backstories and more personality. Biggs is just a big softie, Wedge’s personality is food, and Jessie’s personality is sexual harassment. I tried reporting her to AVALANCHE’s HR, but there wasn’t one and Barret wouldn’t listen to me, so Cloud just had to deal I guess.

For fans of the original, all the classic moments are still here. The Sector 1 attack, the Airbuster fight, Cloud in drag, all those moments are still present in this Remake. All of those moments are also really beautiful looking and even expanded upon in great ways that honor the original. They will definitely make fans of the original Final Fantasy VII just pause and admire the upgraded look of everything.

There were some places that got expanded upon for the sake of padding, but honestly it didn’t really much bother me, but to me it meant fighting in the newly upgraded ATB battle system.

The combat is the perfect evolution of the ATB battle system. You can attack and defend at will, but if you want to use special attacks, magic, or items, you have to let the ATB meter charge and fill up to use those commands. When you open the command menu, time slows down to give you a moment to find the command you want. You can even switch characters in the middle of battle to give them their own commands or even play as them during the fight.

I also love how some fights you have to really strategize how you’re going to handle the encounter. Staying as just one character isn’t going to cut it in some fights and there are some moments where you will have to take control of another character because they're better suited for that battle. You’ll also have to make sure go in with the proper Materia to expose weaknesses to gain the upper hand. Some of these fights are really hard and you’ll get pulverized for going in them ill-prepared and that’s just on the Normal difficulty.

The Materia system still works the same as it did with the original. You upgrade your materia by completing battles. However, now you can upgrade your weapons for additional stat boosts. Each weapon also has a weapon ability that you can learn. Once the ability is known, you can use that ability even if you have a different weapon equipped. You know how I mentioned earlier that having the proper Materia will help in a fight. Even though it’s not so much the case for weapons, there are 1 or 2 boss fight that you might want to consider switching weapons around for your characters.

Now, what about the other mode that Square advertised, Classic Mode, is that closer to the turn-based style from the original? No it’s not, in fact it’s Super Easy mode where attacking and defending happens automatically and you only worry about the commands, but even then you don’t have to bother much with commands as the game plays itself mostly. Don’t take this as me shaming anyone for playing this mode, if you want to play it on Classic, more power to you, but I also don’t want someone seeing it and thinking that the mode is something that it’s not.

Even though this game is a Remake, it doesn’t in any way erase the original game. The original Final Fantasy VII will always be there and it’s still worth giving it a look today if you’re curious about the rest of the story.

Now, I’m about to enter spoiler territory as there are moments that I do want to further discuss, so if you don’t want spoilers, I’ll give my score here and have the spoilers in the cut. Only go to the cut if you’ve played the game or don’t mind spoilers at all.

Final Fantasy VII Remake gets a 5 out of 5

Ok, Story Spoiler Discussion Time!

I have to say, I’m actually a big fan of the ending. I’ll admit when Sephiroth was introduced in Chapter 2, I was concerned that Square sped it up for the sake of the fans. When Barret was saved by Fate, I was concerned that it was just going to be a stupid plot device to make sure certain characters lived. 

Then the final chapter happened and everything made sense in a weird way. 

The fact that this is the same Sephiroth we’ve known since the original game, the fact that the Remake is actually a Sequel and what we experienced in the Remake was actually an alternative universe is something that I have to admit was a very risky gamble and I think it paid off. What happens next is unknown and now that anything can happen since this is actually a continuation of Sephiroth’s story occurring in an alternative universe, it opens a lot of possibilities and I’m excited to see what happens next!

I’m excited to learn more about how he got to this universe. Will the Prime Universe try to find ways to the alternate universe to continue to fight Sephiroth? Did fighting Fate alter the timeline of the alternate universe we’re experiencing. If anything, I think this was the best way to preserve the original, do a retelling of original events, alter them a little and then reveal that it’s an alternative universe that the original game has influences on. It also still makes the original important as it lets you see and experience how Sephiroth got to this point. It’s like the 2009 Star Trek movie and I have to say, I thought that was handled well.

Also, this hasn’t been confirmed by anyone in Square but I think Fate was a representation of the fans. Think about it, Fate was doing everything it could to make sure certain events played out exactly the same as they did before. Which is what the fans wanted in a Final Fantasy VII Remake, the same game, just prettier and modernized. With you fighting and killing Fate, I think it was Square’s way of showing what their thoughts on this was. They didn’t want to rehash the same story, they wanted to tell a new story. So by having Fate die, it showed that Square is going to do something new, but the fact that certain events still played out the same, also shows that Square will keep some of them, but at the end of the day, this is a new story. 

However, with that said, I still have concerns about the upcoming sequels to this game. Particularly, Tetsuya Nomura’s very recent quote that the team doesn’t know how many more sequels there will be and is in favor of doing smaller chunks of the original story. This concerns me that the continuation of this new arc of Final Fantasy VII’s story will go in the route of Kingdom Hearts. The first couple games will be great and amazing, and then it will start going downhill because Nomura will get bored, stop caring, and will start doing things because he thinks it’s cool.

There is some great potential and I hope that what happens next continues to pay off.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #262

WoW will probably start to take over my life again tomorrow oof so expect surveys to slow down some.

What do you wish people wouldn't call you? The only one I don't really like is Girt calling me "kid." He doesn't mean it in a derogatory way or anything like that; he's just always called me that since I was a high school freshman and he was a senior. Now as an adult that's been through things I don't believe anyone deserves, it's kinda weird but more so frustrating as, regardless of his intentions, I somewhat feel belittled. I've never said anything directly about my discomfort, though, so it's my own fault. I just don't want to make him feel bad for doing it for years lmao. What do people say about your name upon learning it for the first time? They don't say anything; my name is very ordinary. Why did you choose the hair length you have? I have a few reasons. The biggest is because I was just bored of average, long hair, and the fact I was at the time having a very hard time with self-care. My hair would get incredibly knotted to where it was hard to even brush it sometimes. Makes me shiver thinking back on it. For my own sanity and ease, it needed to be gone. Also, with how STUPID hot I get, cutting it all off helped with the weight of my hair (it's v thick) but more importantly how hot it made me it the warm months. Zero regrets chopping it all off, omg. If your hair could be ANY color, what would you pick? At this very moment, I really want silver hair. Do you wish your hair was longer or shorter than it is now? It needs a trim. Do you think you're attractive? (It's okay to say yes =P) No; I think I wouldn't look ALL to bad if I lost some more weight (I've literally been on a weight loss plateau for two fuckin years). When I was perfectly healthy, I didn't think I was very pretty even back then, but now that I look back, I feel I was decently pretty. Not gorgeous, but. What is your favorite band? Ozzy Osbourne. :') What is your favorite movie? The Lion King. The second one is like directly behind it. Finding Nemo is also very precious to me. What is your favorite book or magazine? The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton and Johnny Got His Gun by Dalton Trumbo. What is your favorite song? Ugh, this is impossible. I love way way too many. I suppose maybe... "Death Inc." by Motionless In White? Idk. What is your favorite color to wear? Black, duh. If you could visit anywhere in the world, where would you go and why? South Africa because I want to spend time with and take pictures at the Kalahari Meerkat Project and especially pet a Whiskers meerkat. I WILL cry. Meerkats literally changed my life. So many people I wouldn't know... If you got the chance and wouldn't get caught, would you cheat on a lover? NOOOOO the guilt though. Someone drops a fifty dollar bill and doesn't notice. Will you tell them? Definitely. I'd feel awful otherwise. Would you ever pierce something on your face? I already have my lip and tongue pierced, and I did have my nostril pierced, too. I want more, particularly an undereye microdermal if I can switch to contacts... which I don't like. I think it'd look pretty dumb with glasses. Are you selfish? EVERYONE should be to a degree depending on the occasion. Doing what is best for you is not a bad thing. Are you mean to people who are different from you? Wow no. I find people "different" from me interesting. Do you make fun of obese people? By the BMI definition, I am one of those people. So take a guess? Do you eat when you're upset? I have to fight that extremely hard, because I usually do experience the impulse to comfort eat when I'm very depressed. I've gotten way better at it, though. What if you had to choose between feeding yourself or feeding your pets? I honestly don't know for sure what I'd do... but I think I would prioritize my pets, honestly. It would break me to watch them suffer and lose weight. What if you saw someone being beaten on the street? YOOOO I READ THIS AS "EATEN" FIRST. But anyway I'd call the cops ASAP. There's a possibility I'd intervene if I felt myself capable of taking on the assailant. What if it was you being beaten? According to the night terrors I've had beyond count, curse like a motherfucker and fight back while calling for help. Who's the most important person to you (related)? Mom. Who's the most important person to you (non-related)? Sara. What's more important to you, happiness or success? Happiness. What's more important to you, your happiness or someone else's? Depends on the person. List the ten most important things to you: Oh, yikes. No order: 1.) My peace of mind, health, and happiness; 2.) my family; 3.) my pets; 4.) my career future; 5.) my friends; 6.) a YouTuber I've never met lmao; 7.) my pebble from my partial hospitalization program; 8.) Teddy's ashes; 9.) the Mark mug Sara gave me sobs; 10.) and the RP site I'm on. Like if it disappeared tomorrow with all the profiles and history and stuff I would break the earth in half oof. Have you ever lived in a mobile home? No. Have you ever had your bedroom in a basement? No. How many times in the past week have you eaten fast food? Hm. I don't think once. In the house - shoes, socks, slippers or bare feet? Bare feet.\ Do you consider dogs inside or outside pets? Usually indoor, depending on the breed and the time of year. What’s your favourite piece of furniture in your house? ig my bed? Have you ever had a crush on a friend’s parent? Yikes no. Do you prefer carbonated or uncarbonated drinks? Sucker for carbonated over here. Favorite thing that you can see up in the sky? A full moon. Would you rather eat at the table or in your room? I'm so used to eating in my room. Do you like the sound of birds singing when you wake up, or is it annoying? I love it. If someone gave you a kitten, would you keep it? I'd love to, but it'd really be my mom's choice. What’s your ideal activity for a rainy day? Nap oh lawd. Favorite type of cracker? Cheez-Its. Banana sandwich... yum or yuck? Only yum with peanut butter. Animal you like to watch but sort of creeps you out: Spiders. Bagels or English Muffins? Bagels. Do you like to daydream about sex? I do it sometimes. Which of your parents do you laugh more with? My dad is really funny. Have you ever been to an open casket wake or funeral? Wake, yes. Who mows the lawn at your house? A family friend. Have you ever written a story from beginning to end? When I was little and was writing that meerkat story, yes. I started on the sequel but didn't get far. What’s a big turn on for you? Being genuinely interested in what makes me me. Actually wanting to know the littlest things about me. Just show sincere interest. Are you doing anything tomorrow? I do know I'm fuckin finally getting my laptop home. Does your car have a name? N/A Do you own clothes from any celebrity clothing lines? No, but a bitch is getting a Cloak shirt or hoodie at some point. Who was the last person you ranted about? My bitch of a cousin for being a disrespectful fuck when all my dying grandmother wants is to talk as a group with the whole family. I ranted to Mom though, not in the group chat because I'm actually mature enough to not talk shit when, again, all our grandma wants is peace and love between us at the end of her life. I was SEETHING. Know any magic tricks? I don't remember any. I LOOOOOVED those magic kits as a kid, though. Is there music in your head right now? Right now "Dirty Pretty" by In This Moment is on, so does that count as "in my head?" Would you like to become a dancer? It'd be very cool, most certainly, and due to taking dance classes so long, I tend to think of potential dances in my head when I hear like... any song, lol. I'd love to be one if I had the grace and endurance + no hyperhydrosis. Name one person of the same sex as you you wouldn't mind doing: Hunny I'm bisexual, there's a lot, lmao. Dream woman? Uhhhh. Maybe my friend Alon. She was like one of my first hints I wasn't straight, lmao. But idk, I find soooo many women to be attractive. What is the most gory film you've seen? One of the Saw movies. What a surprise, ik. Ever fallen down a hole? ZOINKS no. Do you work better in a clean or messy environment? Clean, durr. Do you know any vegans? Only online. Do you like bananas? I am VERY picky with bananas. They have to be perfect. My preferred ripeness lasts only like, two days. .-. What's a film you've seen that confused you? Oh boy, idk. I don't watch many films... especially if I'm confused and the plot isn't great, I'll stop watching. WAIT!!!!!! NO!!!!!!!! I went to see Warcraft when it came out and I was so fuckin lost just because the orcs' voices are so goddamn deep that I just sat there like "uhhhh sir come again????" I didn't play Classic, and I'm not great at remembering every aspect of the plot, so. I'm to this day p confused lmao. Do you ever wear black lipstick? I really only ever wear black. What is next to your bed? I have a white shelf to my left where I put my meds, a drink, the fan... that kind of stuff. My cat's food bowl is to the right of it on the floor. Are your fingernails dirty? Nope. Have you ever fell for someone believing you could "fix" them? Not for that reason, no. Describe a picture of yourself that you hate: LASKJDLKFJAOWJE my friend took a picture of me eating a hot dog once and joked she was putting that shit on Facebook and it was funny as shit but thank Christ she was in fact joking. Would you rather play a good or an evil character in a play? While I'd love to be the evil one, I'd probably make it too cheesy because I am a BAD actress. Has anybody ever lied to you just to impress you? Story of one of my "best" friendships. What's your favourite shade of blue? Baby blue, probs. Can you remember a world before iPods? I do indeed. On rides to school when I sat in the back, I would bring one of those portable CD players with me to play discs. Where did you go on your last date? I can't remember the place's name... Lume's? Something like that? Breakfast place in Illinois. Do people find you "cute"? It happens sometimes. Who does the best remixes? Oh idk, I don't pay much attention to this. Where do you get your news? Facebook, lmao. What social stigma does society need to get over? What DOESN'T it need to get over???? What was the last photo you took? Probably something funny on Facebook to send to Sara lmao. I will get memes to her some way. What mythical creature do you wish actually existed? As badly as I want to say dragons, I don't think it'd be a great idea, heh... Maybe dryads. What are you interested in that most people aren't? As of recently, TARANTULAS. I've fallen in LOVE with them. What's the most ridiculous thing you have bought? No clue. What sounds hit you with major nostalgia every time you hear them? The gem collecting sound from Spyro. It was my text ringtone on my last phone! I need to move it over to my current one. What was the biggest realization you have had about yourself? I was possibly the bigger villain than Jason in the breakup. But idk. What topic could you spend forever talking about? Gay rights. Which way should toilet paper hang, over or under? In the original patent, it was designed as going over. GMM knowledge. Therefore I find over as correct, BUT I ultimately don't care like... at all. I don't even really notice when I go in the bathroom. Are you usually early or late? Usually slightly early. What do you wish you knew more about? Politics so I could be a more helpful member of society alksdjfka;lw What is the most annoying question you've been asked? It's not really like, annoying I guess, but the closest would be just how frequently people see my lip ring and ask if it hurt. It's incredibly sensitive skin, and even if it wasn't, a needle went all the way through it. Like... guess. News flash: being stabbed hurts, lmao. Like I always explain that it's not awful, but duh, there is pain. What is your favorite milkshake flavor? Yummm chocolate. What was the worst phase in your life? 2020 thinks it's a bad guy, but lemme tell ya, shit's got nothing on 2016. Do you like sprinkles on your ice cream? I hate sprinkles on anything. Just an annoying texture with negligible flavor. The last time you went out to eat - what did you order? It was just a milkshake. Do you have all 32 teeth? I'm missing two wisdom teeth that just never grew in. Do you know how to do the moon walk? Never tried. What is one of your favorite comedy movies? White Chicks. Has anybody ever told you that you have a good singing voice? Yeah. I don't think I do. Onion rings or french fries? Fries. Not an onion ring fan. Who is the best cook that you know? Sara's mom is great, omgggg. She's cooked things I generally don't like yet I wound up enjoying. Can you name 3 different dinosaurs? Let's see: Spinosaurus, stegosaurus, velociraptor. I was a dino kid, man, just gettin' started. *finger guns* What's the largest amount that you can juggle at one time? I can’t juggle. What was your favorite thing to go on at the playground as a kid? I'd daaaash for the swingset. Do you know how much you weighed at birth? How much? Ummm I think 6-something pounds? 7? Where do you spend most of your time at? At home. In my bed. Exciting stuff, y'know. What noise does your favorite animal make? If my memory serves me right, they have over 40 vocalizations, but I'd say barking and chirping are the most ordinary/basic. Have you ever fallen in the toilet when you were little? lol I don't think so. What is the best kind of mac & cheese? I'm a basic-ass Velveeta bitch lmao. Who is your favorite oldies band? Boy oh BOY, you're asking a classic rock/metal addict. Of course it's Ozzy tho. But I love soooo many!! What is your favorite farm animal? Pigs! Do you like to play Monopoly? I'm not a big fan, no. What is the most fun restaurant you have ever been to? I like the vibe of Buffalo Wild Wings. Or I just have good memories there. What size bra do you wear? I'm actually not sure. I haven't bought new ones in a while and I don't think the ones I currently have are the right size anyway. Do you have a ceiling fan in your room? No. Who was your favorite Sesame Street character? I don't remember too well, but I think Cookie Monster? What about Muppet? Idr. What was going through your mind during the presidential campaign? I am sadly paying no attention. What do you think of the Duggar family ( 17+ kids )? Could you handle taking care of that many children? Ew, hell no. I don't believe the number of children warranted in a family should be legally monitored, it's much more difficult than that, BUT RATHER I'm very firm about knowing when it's more than enough. Population control is a thing. NOBODY needs that many kids imo, not even close to that. So far, what is the number one, best decision you have ever made? How has it affected your life? Letting go of Jason/accepting life without him. It has made my life much, much brighter and healthier. Have you reunited with any old friends recently? Was it awkward, or just like old times? No. When was the last time you talked to your first ex? February of 2017. Wow... been a long time. How different is your online personality from your offline personality? I am MUCH more outgoing and talkative online. What are your favorite holiday-themed movies? Jim Carrey's How The Grinch Stole Christmas, Hocus Pocus, The Nightmare Before Christmas, etc... Do you listen to Christmas/winter-themed music when the season comes around? No. Is there anything that you do that’s potentially controversial? Yes. What is your most recent obsession? Most recent, whew, tarantulas. I'm really gonna try talking Mom into letting me get one when/if we move. Do you say “merry Christmas” or “happy holidays”? To you, does it really matter which one is said/you say? Do you do your best to remain politically correct? Instinctually, I say "merry Christmas;" that's what has always been said around me. I personally see zero problem in calling it whatever... Like just appreciate someone wishing you well. You get the concept, and that's all you really need imo. As for political correctness, I'm kinda... down the middle? Like I feel it's been taken way, way too far, but I see some caution in wording as wise. If you could relive one week of your life, which would it be, and why? Would you do anything differently, or keep it all the same? Ugh, my first visit at Sara's. I just loved it so, so much. I think I wouldn't change a thing. It felt perfect. Is there a part of your life you wish you could remember, but can’t? Sometimes when I take these surveys and they ask "how old were you when...", ha ha. Frustrates me. What was the last thing/event to trigger a painful memory? It was last night, actually. The Final Fantasy VII remake is out, and I started watching a YouTuber I like play it. Jason got me to play the original, playing it a lot when we spent time together, but I only got a bit beyond half-way through before my PS3 broke. Cherished memories, so it was decently triggering indeed. I loved the game though and ABSOLUTELY want to see it played out in its entirety, so I shoved past the pain and am glad I did. Now I'm anxiously awaiting the next video aljkdsjfawe Y'ALL I wanna play more FF. What do you think of people that choose not to vote? I can't say anything, seeing as I never have voted before... Are you keeping anything from the people you love? Nothing important, no. Have you ever written a suicide note, whether joking or not? Yes, and that stupid novel is one of my biggest regrets. Who the FUCK would joke about that, though. When was the last time you let something ‘go to your head’? Not even like an hour ago. This happens allllll the time. When are you most likely to show off? Maaan Guitar Hero used to be good for that shit, ha ha. I was an expert at that back in its day. I haven't played it in forever, and on the rare occasion I do, I am suuuper rusty. Which would you prefer: spectacular view of the ocean, or of the mountains? MOUNTAINS!!!!!! Do you follow any dating rules/play any dating games? No. When was the last time you felt extremely confident about something? ME????????? CONFIDENT???????????? WHAT A CONCEPT!!!!!!!!!! When was the last time you blew the seeds off of a dandelion? Wow, not a clue. Probably not since we lived at my old house and I would go on walks down the path. What was the last thing that happened that you couldn’t explain? Oh I dunno. What do you do with all of your spare change? I just keep it in my wallet. Where did you hear about your all-time favorite band? He was and still is one of my mom's favorites! How many cans of soda do you drink in a day? AHHHHHH soda is my biggest nutritional weakness. I refuse to let myself drink more than one a day now though. It's funny and disgusting, when I was HEALTHY AND SKINNY I could on a rare occasion start a fourth can in a single day. Nowadays the thought almost makes me shiver. What is the oldest thing that you own? and the newest? The oldest thing, ummm. Not sure. Probably a stuffed animal in the attic. I just got two new books today! Is there anything you wish you had never found out about? Yep. A number of things. What is something that you refuse to believe in? Astrology. What is something you wish more people believed in? Gay rights. What food is your ultimate comfort food? Ice cream. Have you ever put anything inside a time capsule? What? OMGGGG I remember doing this in elementary school as a class! I don't recall what was in it, though. Is there too much violence on tv, or are people to sensitive? Too sensitive, but also negligent. It's got a lot to do with raising, imo. Don't show kids wild shit at too young of an age, and when they are shown this kind of stuff, you make it obvious that the behavior/content is unacceptable irl. Entertainment is not responsible for someone's shitty actions made with their own volition. What is something you used to fear, but no longer do? My first huge fear was thunderstorms. Now I enjoy them lol. Do you think it’s important to know a 2nd language? Not mandatory, no. Especially depends on if you're going anywhere. Do you know anyone that’s just naturally good at almost everything? My old friend Hannia IMMEDIATELY came to mind. She was the best in class GPA-wise, first chair for flute in band, and just in general STUPID talented. Do you know anyone that’s just bad at everything? BITCH ME What is one emoticon you use often? A sarcastic :^) or <3 What is one emoticon you almost never use? A lot, particularly ones with equal signs for eyes.

[the-light-followed]

THE LIGHT FANTASTIC (1986) [DISC. #2; RINCEWIND #2]

“What shall we do?’ said Twoflower. ‘Panic?’ said Rincewind hopefully. He always held that panic was the best means of survival; back in the olden days, his theory went, people faced with hungry sabre-toothed tigers could be divided very simply into those who panicked and those who stood there saying ‘What a magnificent brute!’ and ‘Here, pussy.”

Rating: 5/10

Standalone Okay: No

Read First: ABSOLUTELY NO.

Discworld Books Masterpost: [x]

* * * * * * * * * *

If The Colour of Magic is a bad place to start reading Discworld, The Light Fantastic is 100% worse.  Not because it’s bad, because it’s absolutely an improvement on its predecessor.  It’s just that The Colour of Magic ends on a cliffhanger (only in the metaphorical sense; in the literal sense, Rincewind has just fallen off the cliff).  The Light Fantastic picks up exactly where it left off, with only a little exposition or explanation to soften the shift from one to the next.  I tend to think of The Light Fantastic as more like The Colour of Magic: Part 2, Now We’re Getting Somewhere, because, well, now we’re getting somewhere.

Folks, we finally have a cohesive, over-arching plot! We have stakes greater than “let’s not get killed by this latest thing that wants us dead!”  We have purpose, and drive, and successful barbarian heroes so old they lack teeth and have to make dentures out of diamond, and I love absolutely every bit of it!

In what will quickly become obvious is the norm for him, Rincewind’s life continues to be a series of upsetting things happening one after the other.  Some highlights from The Light Fantastic include:

Being forcibly teleported (back) onto the Disc by the parasitically-attached Great Spell living in his brain, after falling over the Rimfall.  Reality is completely rewritten to do this, but everything remains exactly the same except Rincewind’s new position clinging to the top of a pine tree.  (Twoflower gets dropped back onto the Disc as well, but that seems mostly incidental.)

Going to the land of Death while still alive, picking up his mostly-dead friend, and running right back out to the land of the living.

Camping in the mouth of a giant troll the size of a mountain, while being held captive by mercenaries.  Somehow only the mercenaries end up dead.

Being attacked by wizards and Things from the Dungeon Dimensions, and fighting said wizards and Things in life-or-death battles.

Using the most powerful magical book on the Disc, possibly the most magical item full-stop, and then afterwards, allowing said item to be eaten by the carnivorous sentient Luggage for safekeeping.  Rincewind ends up owning the Luggage before the end of the story—so technically, he still has this wildly dangerous book.

Oh, and saving the world, of course.  He also does that.

I love, love, love the way Pratchett writes ‘heroes’ vs. how he writes his protagonists.  Absolutely none of his protagonists are the stereotypical hero, and his stories are better for it.

Quick sidetrack to define terms: when I say ‘stereotypical hero,’ I’m talking about the kind of lawful good protagonists you see in most high fantasy adventure stories or superhero comics, the stuff with worldwide or even cosmic stakes.  They’re typically well-trained or have some kind of special skills, or they acquire special training/skills along the way.  They almost always set out specifically to save the world, and typically do not have any ulterior motives beyond it being ‘the right thing to do.’  Usually, they’re strong and rugged manly men with impressive jawlines.  I’m talking Aragorn from Lord of the Rings.  I’m talking Captain America and Superman.  I’m talking the real Boy Scout types.

Truth, justice, and apple pie—or whatever the regional-specific pastry of choice might be!

Pratchett’s heroes are not that.  They’re cowards.  They’re scared or confused or unprepared, or making the whole thing up as they go along.  They’re fools, alcoholics, con men.  They’re salty old ladies and know-it-all young girls.  If there is a stereotypical hero-type character, they’re going to be a foil for the actual main character, and they won’t stay perfectly pure and uncomplicated for long—I’m thinking specifically Carrot, though we’ll talk about him later when we get to the City Watch books.  

Here, what we get is Rincewind.  And he is as far from a stereotypical hero as it is possible to be, probably because he would have started sprinting full-speed away from the thought before anyone finished saying it out loud.  Rincewind doesn’t save the world because he suddenly found his courage, or developed bonus superpowers, or found some kind of magical sword to do the fighting for him.  (He actually found the sword back in The Colour of Magic, hated every second of it, and got rid of it as soon as possible.  Goodbye and good riddance to Kring the magic sword.)  He hasn’t secretly had the courage inside of himself all along.

Rincewind saves the world because he’s got nowhere left to run, and that’s excellent.

I’m going to save a lot of my rambling about Pratchett’s deconstruction of the concept of ‘heroes’ for when I get to Guards! Guards! and later City Watch books, since Carrot is, like I said, both the main example and the central thesis.  But it is very important for everyone to understand: for me, nothing is more satisfying from a literary perspective than knowing that, at the end of the Discworld series, coward and hero-only-by-accident-or-mistake Rincewind is one of the two people in contention for the spot as ‘ultimate savior of the world, the universe, and all of existence.’  The other is a teenage girl.

Honestly, the only reason I think Rincewind might edge her out for the title is because he technically saved a slightly larger slice of reality with this whole escapade.  In Tiffany’s defense, I’m 98% sure she hadn’t been born yet when this whole thing went down, so we really can’t blame her for not solving it first.  If she were there, she’d have it handled, and that’s just objective truth.

But Rincewind.  Rincewind.  At the end of The Light Fantastic, the dude’s spent two whole books screaming and running whenever something tries to kill/maim/eat/threaten him.  The audience has absolutely figured out by this point that while he’s smart and sarcastic and surprisingly speedy, he’s totally useless in a conflict.  His priority is saving his own skin, not dashing feats of derring-do or whatever it is heroes are supposed to do.

And yet with the end of the world looming, his back against the wall, and no real place left to run, when the Big Baddie demands that he give up the last Great Spell, the one last thing preventing the immediate destruction of everything and everyone, we get this from Rincewind:

“If it stops anywhere, it stops here, thought Rincewind. ‘You’ll have to take it,’ he said. ‘I won’t give it to you.’”

And that’s it.  That’s what saves the world.  Not a stereotypical hero, not a hero of legend, not a mythic champion showing up for a final glorious battle—it’s a Pratchett hero.  It’s an everyday guy, a coward and a failure, dragged in by accident and against his will.  It’s an average person, nothing really special, who looks at something that he knows is wrong and that he’s sure will hurt him for disobeying.  And yet he still says no.  It stops here.

Even rats fight back, as Rincewind himself says.

This is the moment that really sells me on Rincewind’s character, every time.  Even before Pratchett was really taking Rincewind or the Discworld seriously, even while the whole thing is still one massive joke more often than not, he’s still given the readers a POV character who feels believably real.  He’s scared shitless, he’s tired, he’s sarcastic, and he doesn’t want to be there.  But that’s too damn bad, because he’s the one there, and if he doesn’t do this, no one else will.

And maybe Rincewind’s not Superman, but he still does it. He succeeds, he saves the day, and—despite everything—he’s somehow the hero of this story.  Screaming all the way, maybe, but he still gets it done.

[Paul Kidby does incredible Discworld art, including some of the amazing cover art for the books.  You can find a lot of it on his website— www.paulkidby.com.  This one,The Colour of Magic, stars Rincewind, Twoflower, and their dramatic escape from the Wyrmberg.]

While we’re on the subject of heroes, we can’t skip over Cohen the Barbarian, who makes his debut here in The Light Fantastic. Now, Cohen is technically a hero, but this is still not in the ‘stereotypical hero’ sense—it’s literally his job.  It’s the thing he writes in the little box marked ‘Occupation’ on his tax forms, or at least it would be if he actually paid any taxes.  Or if he actually wrote things down.  

For Cohen, being a hero is how he makes a profit and pays the bills, and he is very, very good at it.  That’s 100% objective truth, and I know that for sure, because the man is old as the hills and still gets into life-or-death fights about twice a day, and that’s the sort of thing that gets you dead very quickly if you aren’t very good at what you do.

But Cohen still isn’t a stereotypical hero.  He does a lot of looting and pillaging, and his body count over the Rincewind books is—wow, it’s up there.  It’s a real doozy.  It’s hard to call his work heroism when it’s hardly a smidge to the left of repeated, outright murder.  I’ll probably circle back around to this in Interesting Times and The Last Hero, because there are some really interesting points made there about the ways that Cohen and his contemporaries play at heroes and villains like they’re a sort of performance they’re putting on rather than a moral act or a choice made out of necessity. But I will say now that putting Cohen in the same storylines as Rincewind really does put both characters into a more complex and interesting light.  Rincewind, the coward-not-hero, and Cohen, the fearless warrior, can kind of play off of each other.

It just goes to show Pratchett’s grasp of people as people, and not unidimensional cardboard cutouts.  Nobody’s always right.  Nobody is always wrong.  And real people don’t always stand up to perfect, pure concepts of what we think they should be.

Also, since Cohen is about a billion years old, we get little gems like his toothless lisp before he picks up some dentures, a concept that Twoflower brings with him from the Counterweight Continent.  (Or, as Cohen calls them, dine chewers.  That, friends, is a pune, or a play on words.)  Also, because he’s Cohen and therefore a dramatic bastard, the dentures are solid diamond.  It’s not as if the man can’t afford it, I guess?

I do want to take a little side trip into some other new details that pop up in The Light Fantastic, specifically the more in-depth stuff about Unseen University and the wizards.  The wizards are a lot of fun in the early Discworld books, specifically if you’re really bloodthirsty, because up until Ridcully arrives in Moving Pictures there’s quite a lot of turnover in Unseen University staff. The wizards are backstabbing bastards early on, and it’s almost jarring to compare the shifty, power-hungry jerks in The Light Fantastic and Sourcery to the fat, lazy hedonists they’ll become. We do get an impression of them as a collective that will stay pretty consistent as we move forward: their values, their skills, the way they do magic.

This is important not only because it establishes a lot of lasting detail for stories involving Rincewind, the University, and the city of Ankh-Morpork, but also because we’re about to get our first glimpse of the witches.  (Hey-o, here comes Equal Rites!)  With a lot of this stuff mapped out in advance, it makes it easier to run a compare-and-contrast of what’s going on with the two main schools of magic users on the Disc, what’s different between them, what’s the same—and the positives and negatives in them both.  (Again, hey-o, Equal Rites!  That all is about to be the whole damn point.)

I think it’s also fun to note that The Light Fantastic features the brief run of Galder Weatherwax as Archchancellor of the Unseen University, A.K.A. He Who Dies So Granny Weatherwax Can Have His Frankly Excellent Name.  Granny Weatherwax is the steel-souled spine of the witches, and the driving force of their run of books, and it’s kind of hilarious to think that Terry Pratchett did the writer’s equivalent of digging through a graveyard to give her a name.  This theft is later lampshaded and then ignored; Granny says something briefly about Galder Weatherwax being a distant cousin she barely knew, and the whole thing is never mentioned again from then on out. I can’t exactly remember where, and it might even have been in a short story or one of the side books Pratchett eventually put together, not in a novel.  Honestly, who cares—Granny Weatherwax is such a force of nature that it only takes a few minutes to forget that her name ever could have belonged to anyone but herself.

But Granny Weatherwax is not a discussion for The Light Fantastic.  It’s time to move on to Equal Rites!

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Side Notes:

This is the book where the Unseen University Librarian is changed into an orangutan.  It happens early on in a magical accident, as the grimoire containing the Eight Great Spells attempts to save Rincewind and the spell trapped in his mind, and he is never reverted to human form.  

He is referenced but does not appear in The Colour of Magic.  

At no point anywhere in the Discworld does he appear in human form.  At no point does he have lines in human language.  He is never named.  At no point is he described as he was prior to this change, except that the orangutan he becomes is initially said to look “like the head librarian,” so presumably he was already a bit orangutan-ish. 

For something as weird as this is, and for something with such long-lasting repercussions, it is treated in the moment as a thing of very little importance—except, of course, that now he has to be paid in bananas.  I find this absolutely delightful.

Tim Curry plays the wizard Trymon in the BBC miniseries The Colour of Magic, which combines The Colour of Magic and The Light Fantastic.  Trymon only appears in The Light Fantastic in the books, and I can’t read it anymore without picturing Tim Curry in his ridiculous robes and shoes, with his ridiculous overdramatic murder plots, working his way up to the top just to die a ridiculous death.

No, really. Look at this hat.  Look at this goatee.  Only Tim Curry has the acting chops to pull this off.

Death once again appears, and this time we also get to see his house and his daughter, Ysabell!  I can see why it didn’t take long to go from here to Mort: the concept is way too good to leave to little snatches and side appearances.

Krysoprase the troll shows up for the first time in this book.  Later, he’ll be known as Chrysoprase, and will make appearances in several other Discworld novels: Feet of Clay, Wyrd Sisters, and, notably, Thud.  There’s also a troll named Breccia in The Light Fantastic; Breccia will become the name of Chrysoprase’s gang in Ankh-Morpork.

While going through my copy of The Light Fantastic to work on this post, I glanced at the cover and briefly thought I was losing my mind.  At the bottom, there’s a blurb talking about beloved Discworld character “Conan the Barbarian”—but up until that moment I was 100% certain the beloved barbarian on the Disc was named “Cohen.”  Turns out I’m not crazy, it’s just that the literal cover of the book decides to make a reference to the character that Cohen is parodying rather than to Cohen himself.  And this is the 2008 print edition, not an early run or a badly-assembled e-reader edition, which means it’s being released by a professional publishing company a full 22 years after the original novel came out.  It’s not like nobody’s had time to look over the material and do some copy-editing.

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Favorite Quotes:

“The important thing about having lots of things to remember is that you’ve got to go somewhere afterwards where you can remember them, you see? You’ve got to stop. You haven’t really been anywhere until you’ve got back home.”

“Do you think there’s anything to eat in this forest?” “Yes,” said the wizard bitterly, “us.”

“Not for the first time she reflected that there were many drawbacks to being a swordswoman, not least of which was that men didn't take you seriously until you'd actually killed them, by which time it didn't really matter anyway.”

“Are you a hero, actually?” “Um, no. Not as such. Not at all, really. Even less than that, in fact.”

“What shall we do?’ said Twoflower. ‘Panic?’ said Rincewind hopefully. He always held that panic was the best means of survival; back in the olden days, his theory went, people faced with hungry sabre-toothed tigers could be divided very simply into those who panicked and those who stood there saying ‘What a magnificent brute!’ and ‘Here, pussy.”