antiquarisbcn-blog

[capuccinodoll]

Honey love, dark eyes

♡ Chapter one ♡

Summary: Joel Miller has been your best friend for four years, and your trust in him is as solid as ever. However, things go awry one night after a heated argument, and you find yourself in a position you never thought you'd be in: naked, underneath him, with his eyes devouring you like there's no tomorrow. And when you wake up the next morning, you know it right away, reality piercing your chest; things will never be the same again.

Word count: 9.4K

A/N: Okay, I was planning for the first chapter to be 4K words MAX, but my imagination went crazy with this lol I really hope you like it. I really enjoyed writing this <3 don't forget to leave feedback, tell me what you think!

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You met him on the night of your twenty-second birthday, at the small party Cassie had put together for you in her dimly lit apartment. You hadn’t wanted much of a celebration, nothing bigger than a few close friends, and certainly not a group of strangers. But when Brianna swept in, holding hands with a man you didn’t know, and introduced him as her boyfriend, you felt a vague flicker of annoyance, the kind that accompanies unmet expectations.

"I thought it was just going to be us," you mumbled to Cassie, catching her in the kitchen as she poured herself another glass of wine.

She looked at you, her cheeks already flushed, eyes bright. "They're a few of my friends, too; they’re nice—you’ll like them if you give it a chance." She smiled, urging you to relax, as though she could tease you out of your mood. "It’s your birthday; don’t be so sullen."

"I didn’t know Brianna was bringing her boyfriend," you said quietly, as Cassie started back to the living room.

She paused, giving you a half-smile over her shoulder. "Neither did I, actually," she admitted, lowering her voice. "Apparently, they've been together for about a month. She’s really into him."

And she was. Brianna clung to him all night, her laughter spilling out freely, unrestrained and buoyant from the wine. It wasn’t long before someone suggested karaoke, and as voices rang out in the next room, you slipped quietly back into the kitchen, craving a moment of solitude. You were surprised to find Brianna’s boyfriend there, leaning against the counter, scrolling absently through his phone with a glass of water in hand.

He looked up, straightened, and offered you a tentative smile. “Oh, hi. Happy birthday,” he said, his voice warm but reserved. “Sorry, I didn’t get a chance to say it earlier…”

“No worries,” you replied, your tone reassuring. “Thanks.”

He hesitated, as though weighing what to say next. “Are you having a good time?”

You gave a slight shrug. “It’s…” but before you could finish, he cut in with a knowing smile.

“It’s okay. I don’t love my birthday either.” His eyes glinted in the soft kitchen light, and you felt a small smile tugging at your own lips.

You looked at him then, really looked at him, allowing yourself the indulgence. “I didn’t want to admit it,” you said, feeling the faintest hint of heat rising to your cheeks. “What was your name again?”

“Joel,” he answered, his gaze drifting briefly back to his phone. “Sorry, I’m a little on edge tonight. Left my daughter with a new babysitter. I think she’s having a rough time.”

Your eyebrows rose in mild surprise; you hadn’t pegged him as a dad. You moved closer, pouring yourself a glass of orange juice and asked, “How old is she?”

“Four. Her name’s Sarah.” He ran a hand through his hair, and you could tell he was tense. “It’s only the second time she’s been with this sitter, and apparently, she’s been crying all evening.”

“Oh, poor thing,” you murmured sympathetically. “She’s little. Changes like that must be hard on her.”

He sighed, his gaze drifting to the side as he typed something quickly on his phone. “I should probably get going. Brianna won’t love that idea; we’d planned to stay out…” He paused, eyes flicking up to meet yours, worry etched across his face. “You think she’ll be too mad?”

“No,” you assured him, though you knew Brianna wouldn’t be pleased. “Go be with your daughter. She’s little; she needs you. Brianna will understand.”

A grateful smile spread across Joel’s face, and for the first time, you noticed the faint dimple on his cheek. For a fleeting second, you wanted to reach out, trace it with your thumb.

“Thanks,” he murmured, his eyes lingering on you in a way that felt unintentional, yet steady. “I hope your night gets better once karaoke is over,” he added with a quiet laugh. "Wish me luck."

You chuckled, meeting his gaze. “Good luck, Joel.”

He left with that same soft smile, and you watched him go, his warm brown eyes leaving an odd impression, like an unclaimed memory. And, as expected, Brianna didn’t understand. She spent the rest of the night sulking, casting sharp words at Joel through her bitterness.

“You knew he had a daughter when you got with him, this was bound to happen at some point,” Cassie told her, fed up with the other's complaints.

You didn't hear the answer, as you were distracted by watching the colorful pictures someone had put on the television.

You heard nothing more from Joel for a couple of weeks, until Cassie blurted out the gossip one morning while you were having lunch at her house.

“He broke up with her,” she began to tell you. “He told her she wasn't being empathetic and that he couldn't drop everything to party with her as if they had no responsibilities.”

It was no surprise. Brianna was a woman who lived at night; she was twenty-three years old and enjoyed it with the freedom that was rightfully hers. You couldn't blame her for wanting to have fun with her boyfriend. But Joel lived a very different reality than she did; at twenty-eight, he had a daughter to take care of, routines to follow, and a lot of work to do.

Although you thought it would take her longer to get over him, it wasn't long before she met a guy at her gym and got into it with him, outgrowing Joel in a matter of days. But for some reason, Joel’s warm, steady gaze stayed with you, like a whisper that hadn’t fully faded.

Years passed quietly, slipping through your fingers like sand until, suddenly, it was your twenty-sixth birthday. This time, the scene was different: you’d moved into your own place just two days earlier, and there was little thought of celebrating. Instead, the weekend found you alone, arranging your things and attempting to bring order to the chaos of a new home.

It was a crisp Saturday morning, and you stood in your front yard with a glass of fresh-squeezed orange juice in hand, humming along to some eighties tune drifting in from the living room. The song—one of those upbeat ones that made even housework feel light—had lifted your spirits, and you moved rhythmically as you pushed plastic flowers into the dirt along the front path, sending little puffs of air to make the petals flutter.

You were lost in your task when you heard soft footsteps behind you, instinctively making you turn.

“Oh, hello,” you said, quickly masking the slight surprise the girl’s sudden appearance had given you.

She looked at you with wide, curious eyes, seemingly unfazed by her solo adventure.

“Hi. What’s your name? Do you live here?” she asked, her gaze shifting from your face to the flowers in your hands.

Glancing around for any sign of her parents, you noted her relaxed stance, like she’d been coming here all her life. Smiling, you nodded and gave her your name. “Yep, I just moved in.”

She looked unimpressed. “This house was empty for a while. I didn’t like the kid who lived here before. He was a pain in the ass—”

“Sarah!” came a sharp voice from behind, making you jump slightly. Heavy footsteps approached, and you squinted against the sun to see a figure striding toward you, his features obscured by the bright morning light.

When he stepped closer, his face came into focus, and your breath caught. You knew him.

“Sarah, you can’t just leave the house like that,” he said sternly, a furrow in his brow, his tone more parental than reproachful.

He turned to you, and the scowl softened as recognition dawned.

“Joel,” you murmured, the name slipping out before you even meant to say it aloud.

His expression shifted into a surprised smile, and that was all it took to break the ice between you. You explained that you’d just moved in and were still settling. Joel offered to help with anything you needed, including taking a look around the house to ensure everything was in order. He formally introduced you to Sarah, now eight years old, who had nearly scared him to death by sneaking out. She had his same lively spark in her eyes, a brightness that seemed familiar.

That evening, Sarah invited you to dinner with them, leaving Joel with little choice but to agree. And one dinner became many, as evenings blurred into weekends, and you found Joel’s presence in your life weaving into something inseparable from your routine. He started popping by to help with small projects, fixing kitchen cabinets or adjusting the wobbly front steps, visits stretching into movie marathons or lazy conversations with cold beer in hand. Days flowed into evenings of chatting over the meals you cooked to share with Sarah, and sometimes her uncle Tommy. Though Joel claimed he was no cook, his barbecues were legendary, and you couldn’t deny you looked forward to them most of all. And soon enough, he was there for everything, from driving you to doctor’s appointments to accompanying you on those grocery runs he pretended to hate. He even started showing up early on days he knew you’d need a ride. Over time, he became the best friend you’d ever had, a safe place, someone who felt like family. With everyone else scattered—Cassie overseas, old friends moved away—Joel became your rock.

It wasn’t something you dared to admit to yourself often, but you couldn’t imagine your life without him. And maybe that’s why you never allowed yourself to voice those little fleeting thoughts, the ones that flitted through your mind every now and then: how safe you felt whenever he threw his arm around your shoulders, or how good he looked reclining on his couch after a long day. Or how perfect it felt when the three of you—Sarah dozing on his lap, you leaning into his shoulder—sat together in the warm silence of a Sunday afternoon. There was an ache, too, a quiet pang whenever he mentioned another woman. Thankfully, that was rare; Joel once told you, with a shrug, that he “wasn’t really looking for that sort of thing.”

Sometimes, you watched him carefully as you talked about your own dates, hoping to catch a glimmer of jealousy in his gaze, some subtle cue that maybe he felt the same way. But there was never anything you wanted to see, and you always felt silly for looking. So, you buried it all. The risk of ruining things with Joel wasn’t worth the confession.

One afternoon, however, your emotions almost escaped your eyes when, while preparing Joel's birthday cake, Sarah dropped a piece of news that caught you off guard. She told you, with her usual nonchalance, that Joel had gone out the night before with someone new.

“Yeah, it’s like… the third time they’ve gone out,” Sarah mentioned while spreading cream on the sponge cake. “I don’t know her name or anything, just that he met her in line at the bank,” a laugh choked in her throat, amused at imagining her father flirting with some woman in a public space.

You forced a smile, laughing along like it was funny.

"And who stayed with you last night?” you asked, trying to keep your tone casual.

Not that Sarah was necessarily a baby; she was already twelve and extremely independent. But Joel never left her alone if he went out for the night, he knew how much she loved spending time with you watching movies and eating junk food. Then, when he arrived, you would pester him with gossipy questions and he would pretend to get angry and then answer every one of them.

“Uncle Tommy," she said, eyeing her work with satisfaction. “We had fun, but I kinda wished you’d come too. Hey, what do you think?” she fingered the cream neatly arranged with the angled knife.

“It's perfect,” you smiled at her, not waiting too long to ask the question you wanted so badly. “Why didn't you call me then?”

Sarah started sprinkling colorful sprinkles on top of the cream and looked at you for a second when she noticed the tone in your voice at the last word. She didn't seem to think much of it.

“You were busy, weren't you? Dad said you had something to do.”

Her answer hit you like a small weight to the chest. Joel had purposefully left you out. He’d even made an excuse for Sarah’s benefit. So, there had been three dates—three times he’d kept this woman a secret. A small knot formed in your stomach as you forced yourself to smile, still watching Sarah as she concentrated on the last of the sprinkles.

In the kitchen, you were running your hand through the steam from the beef stew on the stove—Joel’s favorite—when the door opened. His footsteps grew louder, approaching, and you nervously adjusted the dress you’d chosen, one you knew he liked, though he’d never said it. It was your favorite too, a cream-colored sundress with delicate shoulder ties.

Sarah sprang forward, covering his eyes. “Don’t look, the table’s not ready.”

You hurried to set the glasses in their places, your hands a little shaky as you moved, hoping he wouldn’t notice the flush creeping up your cheeks.

“I don’t need to see it—I can smell it, and it smells incredible,” Joel grinned beneath Sarah’s tiny hands, which she’d plastered over his eyes, half to keep him from sneaking a glance, half just because she could.

“Too bad you don’t smell incredible,” Sarah retorted with a smirk, wrinkling her nose. "Go take a shower!"

You laughed, catching Joel’s raised brow at her.

“You’ve got five minutes,” you said, placing the lid on the simmering pot.

Joel snorted, brushing Sarah’s hands away from his face.

“That’s the smell of a hardworking man,” he replied, feigning offense as he turned for the stairs. “Y’all oughtta know.”

*

Later, the three of you sat around the table, and Joel took his first bite of the stew, eyes widening, a kind of bliss washing over his face. He tossed his head back and groaned.

“Sweet Glory,” he mumbled, closing his eyes. “Thank you for this.”

“Oh, come on,” you teased, though part of you couldn’t help but feel a pang of something between irritation and flattery. “You say that every time I cook for you.”

He shook his head, smiling as he chewed, then spoke softly, his gaze slipping downward.

“I’m not exaggerating—I love everything you do.” A pause, and then a quick, awkward clarification. “I mean, everything you cook.”

The clarification was like a line drawn in the sand, a boundary etched by his voice alone.

You smiled weakly and inwardly thankful when Sarah spoke, telling you about something that had happened at her school that week and distracting you from the question that was spellbinding your tongue. You were dying to ask it, to look him in the eye and ask: who did you go out with last night? Why didn't you tell me? Is it someone I know? Is that it?... But you didn't, you stayed quiet and participated in the pleasant conversation, celebrating his birthday as he deserved. After all, no matter how much it angered you that he kept things from you, it was still his special day.

After dinner, Sarah forced Joel to sit in front of his cake, two lit number candles glowing in front of him. You turned out the lights, watching as the light from the flames reflected beautifully in your best friend's dark pupils.

Joel was wearing a black T-shirt and dark jeans, his hair was still barely damp from the shower he'd taken before, and his sun-kissed tan face looked smooth, decorated by the beard and mustache you loved so much. Behind him, his shadow vibrated and spread across the wall with grandeur.

“Make a wish!” Sarah cheered, bouncing with excitement as she placed her small hands on his shoulders.

Joel smiled, closed his eyes, and blew out the candles. In the dimness, you leaned in and kissed his cheek softly.

“Happy birthday, old man,” you whispered, your hand resting gently on his neck.

He reached for your hand, pressing a warm, lingering kiss into your palm. “I’m not that old,” he muttered with a mock frown.

Sarah giggled, holding a knife to cut the cake and licking a dab of frosting from her thumb. “You’ll be forty in four years,” she teased, catching your amused expression.

Joel scoffed, scratching his stomach as he stood back up, turning to you with a smile that made you forget, just for a moment, all the questions you were holding back. There was only Joel, his rumbling laugh, Sarah’s delighted giggles. It felt like home.

Sarah gave him his gift first: a copy of Curtis and Viper 2 with the deleted scenes and a mystery box. When he opened it, a smile formed on his lips.

He pulled out a weathered wristwatch, broken for months, now polished and repaired.

“I took it in to be fixed. Do you like it?” Sarah asked, eyes wide with anticipation.

Joel nodded, eyes softening as he extended his wrist for her to put it on. “It’s perfect, baby.”

“Let's watch the movie later,” Sarah said. “You can't fall asleep.”

“Let's see which one of us falls asleep first,” you joked, and you were right. Joel had been working all afternoon and Sarah had been yawning for hours.

You turned and picked up the box resting beside your feet, handing it to him. When he opened it, Joel pulled out a black cloth garment and a paper envelope. He tugged at the cloth, revealing a thick, soft jacket. He read the label and a smile appeared on his lips.

“I saw it and thought of you,” you said, mimicking his gesture.

“How much did you pay for this?”

“Don't worry about it, it had to be yours,” you noted as you stood up and took it from his hand. “Here, stand up. Let's see how it fits you.”

“And what if it doesn't fit? Do we have to travel to Rome to exchange it?”

You laughed, then helped him slide it over his shoulders, a comfortable, familiar movement.

“I know you by heart, I couldn't be wrong.”

“So?” he asked, smiling coquettishly. Your stomach tingled and you decided to ignore it.

“Lookin’ good, Dad,” Sarah chimed in, her innocent smile lighting up the moment. “Bet someone special will love it, too.”

Joel smiled weakly, as if he was trying to tell her something with his eyes, and for a second you hated the thought of your gift being enjoyed by someone else. You imagined him getting ready to go out with her -whoever she was-, running his hand through his hair and perfuming his neck as he did from time to time whenever he went out with someone. You knew that perfume perfectly, you'd recognize it anywhere, though you were sure it wouldn't smell the same on anyone else. Joel added his own scent to it, and you loved it.

“Okay, now, open the envelope,” you urged, your voice unintentionally sharper than you meant.

Joel sat back down and opened the blue paper envelope. He read the note carefully and when he looked up, you and Sarah were looking at him excitedly.

“Sunshine, did you pay for this?” he asked you, a soft disbelief in his tone.

Inside were three plane tickets. Sarah had helped you pick the destination—somewhere none of you had been but would love.

When you nodded, he let out a soft sigh. “Let me cover part of it.”

You groaned, rolling your eyes. “It’s my birthday gift to you, Joel. It’s all settled. You need a vacation, and we certainly do too, don't we?”

“That's right,” Sarah confirmed, smiling complicitly.

He sighed, shaking his head. “You’re too good to me.”

But he smiled, tucking the tickets back into the envelope.

Time with Joel and Sarah was easy. When you were with them, hours slipped away, and the heaviness of everything else seemed to dissolve. You felt at home, and sometimes it left you wondering about Sarah’s mother, about how anyone could have left them. Didn’t she see how extraordinary they were? Didn’t she realize what she’d lost?

You thought about this as you relaxed on the couch beside Joel, Sarah curled up with her head on your shoulder. Her breathing had slowed, and you smiled, realizing she’d fallen asleep. Three glasses sat on the coffee table: the wine Joel had opened just before dinner—a bottle you’d brought back from your last trip to Italy—and Sarah’s lemon soda. Joel snorted softly, glancing at his daughter with a smirk, then leaned over and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“Fallen soldier,” he whispered, smiling.

You laughed, brushing a hand over Sarah’s hair. “She’s tired. She was up all afternoon making your cake, you know? Tried the cream three times before she got it right.”

Joel sighed, an apologetic note in his voice. “I know, sorry I was late. I know she wanted me here sooner.”

Curtis and Viper 2 was halfway through on the TV, forgotten in the background. Joel straightened, signaling he’d take Sarah to bed, and you shifted to make room as he lifted her, carrying her toward the stairs. You watched him disappear down the hallway, and as the house fell into a quiet lull, that familiar disappointment stirred in your chest. Now, without Sarah’s chatter, you’d have to keep pretending that nothing was wrong.

You took a long sip of your wine, finishing off the glass just as Joel returned. He sat down heavily beside you, causing the cushions to sink as he let out a sigh, rubbing a hand over his eyes before giving you a grateful look.

“Thanks for today, I had a great time. Sarah was very happy,” he said quietly, a warm smile appearing on his lips.

“I'm glad, hun. Although the credit goes to her, I just made dinner.”

“Doesn’t matter. You helped her, and I’m grateful. I mean that. For today, and for… all these years.” His voice softened, almost reverent.

“You don’t have to thank me,” you whispered, feeling your pulse pick up as he leaned closer, his brown eyes unreadable but soft. “You’re my family, both of you. Really, I’m the one who owes you thanks.”

He shook his head and leaned back, taking another sip of his wine.

“Not at all,” he replied, leaning back again.

You watched him for a moment, turning the weight of your question over in your mind. If you said something, he’d make an excuse. If you kept silent, the doubt would eat at you. You tried to fix your gaze on the TV, on anything other than his profile in the dim room. But the words slipped out of your mouth before you could stop yourself.

“So, what did you do last night?”

He tensed beside you, so subtly that only you could’ve noticed. “What?”

You tried to keep your tone even, hoping you didn’t sound like you’d spent all day thinking about it. “I just… didn’t see your truck out there, thought maybe you were gone or something.” It was a lie; you had fallen asleep on your couch last night, you hadn't even noticed Joel was gone.

Joel seemed to measure his words carefully. “Oh. Yeah… I just went out for a beer with Tommy,” he answered, his tone a little too casual.

Heat crept up your face, disbelief taking root. He really was holding out on you for some reason, wasn't he? The man was lying to you, and not very cleverly. Tommy had been with Sarah, what if you had seen him, hadn't he thought of that? Apparently not. 

It took a moment before you could bring yourself to say anything, watching as he glanced at you with an uneasy smile, waiting for you to believe him.

“Joel,” you murmured, not quite able to keep the accusation out of your voice. “You’re lying to me.”

He gave a nervous laugh, rubbing the back of his neck, but you didn’t let him off so easily. Before he could say anything, you spoke again.

“Tommy was with Sarah last night, here,” you pointed out, your voice firmer this time. His silence told you everything, his face drawn and uncertain as he realized you’d caught him.

After a long pause, he looked down, his voice unusually flat. “Alright, yeah. I know.”

The admission was so casual it took you by surprise, but you shook your head, feeling the ache of frustration and betrayal creep in.

“Why would you lie to me?” you pressed. “We’re friends. Why wouldn’t you tell me you’re seeing someone?”

Joel sighed, avoiding your gaze, his eyes instead locked somewhere in the distance. “It’s… it’s nothing serious,” he mumbled. “Just getting to know her. Don't make such a fuss out of it.”

“What? what you're saying doesn't make sense. You’ve kept it hidden, avoided every chance to be honest about it. Why?” you asked, trying not to let the hurt seep into your voice.

“It’s not like that,” he insisted, but his voice sounded unsure.

“So if I call Tommy right now, he’ll tell me the truth? Or did you ask him to keep this from me too?”

Finally, he met your gaze, his eyes scanning your face, reading the frustration and hurt you’d tried to keep buried. You could see it in his eyes, that familiar tug of defiance, a flash of something deeper than guilt or secrecy.

“What if I did?” His voice was almost philosophical, his gaze intense and challenging. “This is my private life. I don’t have to explain myself to anyone, not even you. Do I?”

You drew in a sharp breath. His words struck like a slap, but you steadied yourself. “You’re right, Joel. You don’t owe me explanations. But you don’t have to lie to me, either.” You looked down, feeling your voice start to waver. “You’ve never hidden your relationships from me before.”

He sighed, scrubbing his hands over his face and slumping back against the couch.

After a few seconds, he finally looked at you, a look of exasperation crossing his face.

“Because of this.” He gestured between you, his tone gentle but firm. “This reaction, right here, is exactly why I didn’t tell you.”

What Joel was saying didn’t make sense. Your frustration wasn’t over him seeing someone else; it was something else entirely, something more fundamental.

“Oh, just stop,” you snapped, voice sharp. “I’m not mad because you’re dating someone, Joel. I’m mad that you lied to me. They’re two completely different things.”

He took a breath, settling back on the couch, and turned to face you, a guarded expression crossing his face. “No, it’s always the same thing. Remember the last time I was seeing someone?”

And you did, briefly. A year ago, one of his friends had introduced him to his cousin—a woman who had just moved to town. She was polite enough, but her smiles had a brittle quality to them, and when she met Sarah, her warmth never extended beyond a single, dismissive greeting. The indifference was obvious, at least to you, and maybe you’d let that show a little too openly. Joel had caught on quickly, and after that, things with her fizzled out.

“That was different,” you argued, exasperated. “She wasn’t nice, Joel. She had zero interest in Sarah.”

He gave a bitter, half-smile. “Maybe, but it wasn’t your job to manage that. I can handle my own relationships. But you always—” he paused, thumping his chest with a finger, “you always step in. Always get defensive.”

“That’s not true!” Your voice rose as anger crept in, heating your face. “You’re just making excuses. Date whoever you want, Joel, I don’t care. But don’t lie to me, don’t insult me with these flimsy excuses. Or if you’re going to lie, at least make it convincing.”

He clenched his jaw, his gaze hardening, something fierce sparking in his eyes. “Are you sure about that?” he asked, his voice low and measured, the words hanging between you like a dare.

“Sure about what?” Your brow creased in confusion, the pulse in your chest picking up, a flurry of anger and… something else you couldn’t place, mingling with the haze of the wine.

His eyes narrowed, holding yours, unflinching. “That you don’t care. That’s what this is about, isn’t it? Because I know you, i know you to well to know you’re just jealous.”

Jealous. He thought you were jealous.

He had missed the point completely. Your feelings for him were complex, that much was true. But you had learned, or thought you had learned, to carry them quietly. Your friendship with him had come to feel like a sturdy house you could live inside without having to ask too much of it. Having him in your life was enough.

But now, you felt that house shift, cracks spreading through the walls. His inability to trust you hurt more deeply than you’d expected. The openness you’d once trusted was fracturing. You felt the sting of tears prick at your eyes, the words he’d thrown out so casually cutting to the quick.

“Fuck you, Joel,” you muttered, standing abruptly, storming to the door and slamming it shut behind you. You barely heard him call your name as you left, fury driving you down the front steps, the cool night air biting at your cheeks.

Honestly, he could go fuck himself.

Just as your hand reached your front door, his footsteps closed in behind you, his strides fast enough to catch up. You tried to close the door before he could reach you, but his hand caught it just in time, his voice heavy with irritation.

“Just go away, Joel,” you said, barely glancing at him. “I don’t want to see you again.”

“That’s not true, and you know it.” His voice was calm, almost pleading.

You stepped back, reluctantly letting him into the foyer. He’d have come in anyway.

“I mean it, God. Go home,” you insisted, your voice wavering, betraying the anger mixed with something else.

He shook his head, taking a few steps closer, his jaw tight. “Can we just talk?”

“Talk?” you repeated incredulously. “Talk about what? About how wrong you are?”

He didn’t flinch, but his eyes darkened. “Don’t act like what I said was crazy,” he said, voice steady but a little sharper now.

You scoffed, throwing your hands up. “Oh, so now I’m jealous, is that it? Then, by your logic, you must’ve been jealous too, right? Like last month, when Travis asked me out. Because if that’s the case, then we’re having the same conversation, aren’t we?”

Joel clicked his tongue, tilting his head with an exaggerated sigh. “No, Travis is just a jerk. And I don’t like him, plain and simple.”

Travis Dunn, your neighbor, had moved in a few months after you did. Handsome, tall, and friendly, everyone on the street adored him—everyone except Joel. He couldn’t seem to stand him, though Travis was always polite to him.

Last month, when Travis had asked you out, Joel had practically laughed in your face when you told him about it, muttering something dismissive as if the very idea was absurd. You’d told Travis you were busy, though deep down you knew the real reason you hadn’t accepted was because of Joel’s disapproval.

“Then everyone’s as much of an idiot as he is, sunshine.”

You shook your head, exasperated. “Travis isn’t a jerk, Joel, you just don’t like him. He’s nice, honestly, much nicer than some people, if we’re being honest here. Everyone loves him; you’re the only one who has a problem with him.”

“Oh, really? Or maybe… you’re jealous of him?” Your tone was teasing, but you felt the shift as soon as you said it.

Joel’s mouth twitched in a half-smile, but the humor didn’t reach his eyes. He ran his tongue over his lips, shaking his head slowly, twice.

“No?” you shot back, voice edged with challenge. “So if I go tomorrow and say yes to him, that wouldn’t bother you at all, right?”

“Don’t turn this on me,” he said. “This isn’t about Travis or me.”

He stepped closer to you, his eyes dark with something you’d never seen in him before. The air seemed to thicken, his presence so intense it felt as though it wrapped around you. He leaned in, his face close enough that his words brushed your skin.

“You can do whatever you want, baby. It’s your fucking life.”

“And you can do whatever you want too, Joel. That’s the fucking point!” you nearly shouted, hands pushing against his shoulders, shoving him away. “I don’t care what you do! It’s already clear you don’t get it, you don’t get anything, ANYTHING!”

Joel staggered back for a split second, but it wasn’t long before he closed the distance again, though he didn’t get as close this time.

His voice was lower, a thread of something hard in his tone. “If you’re so insulted by the idea of being jealous, maybe that’s something for you to think about. Ever thought of doing a little introspection?”

“Are you drunk, Joel?” you asked, eyes narrowed, softening your voice a fraction. The argument was exhausting you, and the anger left you feeling hollow.

He laughed, an odd, choked sound. “Oh, c'mon, you know one bottle of wine ain't enough to get me drunk.”

“Yeah, but you’re tired, and you’re not exactly young, Joel,” you said, brushing past him, his gaze glued to you the entire time. “Alcohol hits you differently now. Just go home, leave me alone.”

“Fine. I’ll leave you alone, and maybe then you can run across the street and fuck Travis Dunn, if you want it so badly,” he shot back, impatience tinging his voice as he turned toward the still-open door.

The words hit you like a slap. You froze for a moment, the anger washing over you in a wave. Before you could think twice, you rushed up to him, gripping his arm tightly to force him to turn and look at you.

“What the hell did you just say, Joel?” you hissed, grabbing his shirt, fingers bunching in the fabric as you backed him up until his shoulders hit the wall by the door. “Go on, say it again!”

Your breaths came fast, chest rising and falling as the rush of anger pushed tears to your eyes. You couldn’t believe he’d actually spoken to you like that, cutting right through to something raw and vulnerable. He’d never spoken to you like that before. Maybe he was a little drunk, or maybe he was losing his mind.

But there was no softness in his gaze, no hint of the Joel you knew. His stare was sharp, almost wild with something simmering underneath, something you didn’t understand. To you, this whole argument made no sense, at least not his reaction.

Joel’s grip on your wrist was firm, almost grounding, as he pulled you closer, pressing your palm against his chest. “I can’t stand that asshole, but go ahead and fuck him if you want,” he spat, voice laced with frustration. “Go fuck the whole neighborhood while you’re at it. I really don’t care anymore.”

His words were harsh, designed to cut, but they only drew a laugh from you—sharp and derisive. A tear slipped down your cheek, uninvited.

“What, did you ever care?” you asked, your voice trembling on the last syllable, thick with emotion.

But Joel didn’t respond, and the silence ignited a fire in you, something that swirled beneath the surface, ready to boil over.

“Do you know why we’re friends, Joel?” Your pulse quickened, each beat like a drum in your ears. “Because it just works between us. There are no ulterior motives. You know why? Because I don’t like you like that. You’re not even my type, and you never will be. And no, I’m not jealous that you’re dating some woman you’ll probably dump in less than a month, so get the fuck over it and leave me the fuck alone!”

You watched as his gaze flickered between your eyes, uncertainty warring with something darker. Suddenly, with an unexpected strength, Joel tightened his grip on your wrist and pushed you back hard against the wall. The impact knocked the breath from your lungs, leaving you gasping as your back hit the unforgiving surface.

His expression had transformed, those deep, dark eyes piercing you like arrows. His breath quickened, crashing against your face, and you could feel your lower lip tremble as he pressed even closer, pinning you against the wall.

“You don’t know how to lie,” he murmured, his lips almost brushing against your cheek.

The sensation was unbearable; his body pressed against yours, heat radiating off him and melting you inside. You could feel the edge of something primal, something that could tip either way. But suddenly, clarity surged through you. With a burst of strength, you pushed him away, breaking free from his grasp, forcing him to pull back just enough for you to gasp for air.

But the distance felt worse. In his eyes, you recognized something you’d never seen before—desire, raw and unfiltered. It clawed at you, igniting an inexplicable need. A sigh escaped your lips, and like a match struck in a dark room, it was enough to set off an explosion. In an instant, Joel lunged at you, and you found yourself wrapped around him, mouths colliding in a desperate kiss filled with moans and the urgency of your racing hearts.

With a loud thud, Joel kicked the front door shut, his hands moving feverishly down your body, fingers skimming your thighs, slipping beneath your dress. He caressed your skin before squeezing your ass hard, drawing a moan from your lips that echoed in the small space between you. You clung to him tighter, his hands fitting around you as if they were made for this very moment.

He pulled back for a breath, the sound wet and chaotic against the walls of your home, and then his lips descended down your neck, unraveling what little sanity you had left. A moan rumbled in his throat as your hands tangled in his hair, tugging gently to tilt your head back, giving him better access to the tender spot just below your ear, your blood pulsing beneath his hungry mouth.

Joel seemed to want to devour you whole; his hands roamed erratically, trembling as his mouth kissed and bit your jaw, pressing your bodies together in a way that felt impossibly intimate. When you lifted your right leg and wrapped it around his side, he was quick to respond, hands securing your thighs, lifting you effortlessly onto his hips, burying his face against your chest.

Another moan escaped you, and he pulled you down just enough to find your lips again. “Joel,” you whispered, breathless as you parted from him, pressing your forehead against his, eyes searching his.

“Tell me to stop and I will,” he said, his voice low, almost broken, each word laced with a vulnerability you’d never heard from him before. “Do you want me to stop?”

“No,” you replied in a small, desperate cry, feeling the heat radiating from him, the thin fabric of your underwear igniting a fire deep within you.

You were dying of thirst, and he had just asked you if you would refuse a sip of water. Was he mad? You wanted to drink it all. 

No sooner had you answered than Joel pulled you off the wall, striding toward the stairs with a confident grace. You lowered your legs cautiously, meeting his lips again in a frantic, wet kiss, his tongue exploring your mouth with urgency.

You walked to your room with the agility of one who knows where to step, and once inside, you grabbed the shirt you had angrily grabbed earlier and lifted it up his body in a desperate attempt to rip it off. Joel raised his arms, letting the fabric pass over both of you and then fall to the floor, and as quickly as your hands returned to his chest, he kissed your neck again, desperate, pressing his fingers into the tender flesh of your waist, seeking a physically impossible closeness. 

His hands found your thighs once more, fingers gripping and kneading with a measured intensity that sent electric shivers through you. As he moved lower, his fingertips brushed the thin fabric of your underwear, inching closer to where you ached for him, squeezing you tighter as if to draw you in.

In a single, decisive motion, he grasped the hem of your dress and pulled it upward, the fabric sliding along your skin as he lifted it away, tossing it aside with a casual disregard that only heightened the tension in the air. He took a step back, his gaze roaming over you, from the soft curve of your face down to the tips of your toes, a look of hunger that felt almost consuming.

You weren't wearing a bra (your dress didn't require it) and your breasts fell beautifully in front of him, hard nipples and soft skin. Your chest flushed with warmth, a rosy hue creeping into your cheeks as you swallowed hard, feeling vulnerable yet exhilarated when he stepped closer.

“I’ve always loved that dress,” he said, his voice trembling with an emotion that was both reverent and raw.

“I know,” you replied, a smile curling at the corners of your lips, the moment igniting an intimacy that made your heart race.

His eyes swept down your body again, glittering with an unmistakable lust, and when he closed the distance, standing right before you, your breath caught in your throat.

His hands slid around your waist, firm yet tender, pulling you into him with a deftness that sent a thrill coursing through you. In one seamless motion, he lifted you off the ground, your feet barely grazing the floor as you instinctively stood on your tiptoes, the world narrowing to just the two of you.

Joel’s eyes darkened with a hunger that left you breathless, and he leaned in, his lips finding one of your breasts with a soft kiss that felt both electrifying and reverent. The warmth of his mouth sent a rush of heat through your body, and before you could gather your thoughts, he nipped your nipple gently, a teasing bite that sent chills racing across your skin.

His teeth grazed you just enough to elicit a gasp, a shuddering reaction that echoed in the space between you. But he didn’t linger on the sharpness of that moment; he quickly replaced the sensation with the soothing warmth of his lips, enveloping you entirely.

He sank to one knee, lowering himself until his lips brushed your stomach, the warm sensation sending ripples of desire coursing through you. His face lingered dangerously close to where you needed him most.

Joel placed his hands on your hips, fingers gripping the elastic of your underwear, his gaze locking onto yours for a moment that stretched into eternity before he slowly began to lower it, the fabric sliding down your legs and pooling at your feet. You felt his breath hitch at the sight of your now bare center, the anticipation thickening the air between you as he inched closer, finally brushing his lips against your mons pubis.

“Precious,” he murmured, and the warmth of his breath washed over you like a caress, drawing a small, needy moan from your lips. His hands parted your legs slightly, his fingers digging into your thighs, holding you firmly in place.

You cupped his face gently, as if afraid you might break him, and then, without warning, Joel licked his lips and plunged forward, his mouth connecting with you in a surprise that made your eyes flutter shut. You tangled your fingers in his hair, tugging him closer as he devoured you, his tongue working its magic as he sucked and kissed you whole, with an urgency that left you breathless.

He growled into you, the sound reverberating through your body, and you felt weakness seep into your legs, trembling under the weight of his relentless attention. Joel was eating you like a hungry man, tasting you and soaking in your juices with a fervor that felt primal, kissing you as if his life depended on it.

“Fuck,” you gasped, feeling every muscle in your body tighten as a building pressure coiled inside you.

He pulled away for just a moment, his eyes darkened with lust, a playful smile creeping onto his lips before he returned to you, closing his mouth around your clit, sucking and licking with a skill that made your head spin.

“Ah—Joel, I’m going to—I’m going to—” You struggled to articulate the intensity of what was building within you, your words stumbling over the tide of pleasure washing over you.

His voice vibrated through you, trailing off into a soft, “Mhm.”

You pulled at his hair, tugging harder as a wrenching moan escaped your throat. The world around you faded as his movements grew more frantic, his tongue flicking at you with a desperate fervor. One of his hands released your thigh, and a low groan escaped his lips as his finger found your entrance, sliding inside with an ease that made you gasp.

“Fuck me, you’re so wet,” he murmured, pausing for a moment to take in the sight of you—your cheeks flushed, eyes sparkling with lust. A satisfied smile broke across his face, and you thought he had never looked so gorgeous.

From your point of view, he looked beautiful. His bright eyes worshipped you intently, his mouth and mustache glistened bathed in you, his hair tossed by your hands mingled in all directions. Joel Miller had never looked so good.

Another finger joined the first, and you closed your eyes, surrendering to the sensation as he curled them just right, hitting that sweet spot that made you gasp for air. You gripped his hair again, pulling him closer, and he let out a throaty laugh, clearly reveling in the sight of you completely undone.

You felt his mouth on you again, the warmth of his lips kissing and sucking with an insatiable hunger that left you breathless. The sound of it was utterly obscene, echoing around the room like a carnal symphony, and it drove you to the brink of madness, your mind spinning in a dizzying haze of pleasure.

His movements grew more intense, a rhythm building that sent waves of ecstasy rippling through your body. You felt yourself teetering on the edge, your hips moving in desperate undulations, surrendering to the climax that Joel savored with unrelenting focus. Your fingers clenched around him, digging in perhaps a bit too hard, but he welcomed it, desperate to drink in every last drop of what you were offering, to savor you whole.

With a low grunt, he squeezed your hips before pulling away, the wet sound of his departure from you hanging heavy in the air. You barely registered his rise from the floor, lost in the aftershocks of pleasure, your eyes still closed as the vibrations coursed through you. It wasn’t until his hands gripped your waist that you finally blinked awake, lifting your eyelids to find him gazing down at you, his face mere inches from yours.

He leaned in, capturing your mouth again, a kiss that was both desperate and tender, igniting a fire deep within you. You could taste yourself on his tongue.

Your hands found their way around his neck, pulling him closer as you melted into the kiss. As the intensity built, you let your fingers drift down his chest, trailing lightly until they found the leather of his belt, the sensation sending shivers through you as you tugged him closer.

Joel vibrated against you, a low growl escaping as he nipped at your lower lip while you fumbled with his steel buckle, the sound of it being released becoming your new favorite melody. You unzipped his pants, your heart racing as you slipped your hand inside, finally touching him for the first time.

Your pulse quickened as you wrapped your fingers around him, feeling the heat radiating from his velvet soft skin; big, hot and throbbing in your palm. A rush of desire flooded you, and you pulled away from his lips, dropping to your knees before him, your eyes wide as you took in his form. 

There he stood, beautiful and swollen with need, and your mouth watered at the sight. You cupped him gently, drawing him closer to your lips, placing a soft kiss on the tip. Joel closed his eyes at the sensation, surrendering to the moment completely, and you traced your tongue over him, tasting the salty sweetness of his pre cum that made your insides tighten with longing.

With a hint of effort, you attempted to take him fully into your mouth, but he was too large, stretching you in ways you hadn’t expected. Joel lowered his gaze to you, his fingers caressing your jaw as you struggled to adjust.

“Slow, baby,” he urged, his voice silky yet strained, and it sent another rush of need through you. "I know you can do it."

You matched your hand to your mouth, stroking him where you couldn’t quite reach, while your other hand gently caressed his balls, moving in a synchronized rhythm. Joel tensed beneath your touch, his fingers shifting from your face to tangle in your hair, guiding you as he reveled in the pleasure you were giving him.

The sounds in the room became a symphony of pleasure, every moan and gasp echoing off the walls, and you watched as Joel's pleasure climbed. The image was enough to drive him over the edge; your pink, swollen lips covered him and his cock glistened with your saliva, dripping from your chin with every move you made. Your teary eyes looked up at him desirously, and he could take no more; his gaze was filled with a primal hunger that threatened to unravel him. He finally withdrew from your mouth with great reluctance when he felt his stomach tighten, a low complaint escaping your throat in protest.

His breathing was heavy, and a flush colored his cheeks as he lifted you effortlessly, holding you at the waist, his lips finding yours in a heated kiss. In one swift motion, he laid you back onto the bed, the mattress dipping under his weight as he moved closer; Joel kneeling and settling between your legs which you instinctively opened for him. 

You needed him, you needed him to fill you whole. You had never needed anything as much as you needed him at that moment. And as if he was reading your thoughts - or maybe he needed you as much as you needed him - he leaned in, taking your mouth with his once more, his moans blending with yours as he lost himself in you.

Your hands tangled in his hair, pulling him closer as he deepened the kiss, the taste of him igniting a fire in your veins. You felt him positioning himself at your entrance, his heat pulsing against you, and an intense sigh shot through your chest as Joel entered you in one thrust, burning and stretching you around him. 

“Oh God,” he groaned, burying his face into the crook of your neck, the warmth of his breath sending shivers down your spine. His right hand traveled to your left leg, lifting it and resting it high on his shoulder, while without hesitation, his other hand mirrored the movement with your right leg, bringing you into a position that felt both intimate and vulnerable. You were completely folded under him.

A cry escaped your lips as Joel began to move on top of you, his face hovering just inches above yours, the heat between you palpable. No one had ever penetrated you so deeply; it felt as though he was everywhere, filling you completely, every inch of you alive with sensation.

Joel's right hand gently squeezed your neck, seeking your mouth for a kiss as his movements took on a more urgent pace. The rhythmic collision of his hips against your buttocks created a beautiful sound that echoed off the walls, each thrust punctuated by the soft, desperate gasps that slipped from his mouth. Your own cries mingled with his as your body tightened again, your hands moving frantically up and down his back, your nails digging into his flesh, leaving little marks that he would surely wear like badges of pleasure. 

A broken sound escaped from Joel, raw and primal, as he sank his face into the crook of your neck once more, increasing his thrusts with a fervor that felt animalistic, as if the world outside had fallen away and this moment was all that mattered. He fucked you into the mattress with an intensity that left you breathless, as though he were trying to ground you both in this fleeting reality, where nothing else existed except for the two of you entwined together.

You melted around him, your juices mixing with his as you enveloped him completely, and just when you thought you couldn’t take any more, he lifted his head, your forehead resting against yours, his wide eyes locking into yours. You had never seen them so dark, so filled with intensity and strength.

And then it hit you: It was Joel, your Joel, the one who had been your best friend for four years, and here he was, fucking the life out of you like no one ever had before. What could possibly come after an experience like this?

“I thought you didn't like me,” he said, his voice choppy, strained with effort. A smirk played at the corners of his swollen lips. “Such a bad liar, baby, look at you.”

You growled in response, fingers tangling in his hair, pulling him towards you with a mix of force and anger. Your lips found his in a kiss that was anything but patient, igniting a spark between you. You felt him tense above you, one of his hands quickly moving to your center, exerting immense pressure as he leaned his weight on his other arm, holding you captive beneath him.

His fingers found your clit, tracing gentle circles that made your back arch involuntarily, another wave of pleasure building inside you. Your mouth was still on his, consuming him completely, when your second orgasm crashed over you like a tidal wave. You felt your insides tighten around him, squeezing him with a ferocity that pulled him closer to his own climax.

Joel gasped into your mouth, and the intensity of it sent your vision spiraling into darkness for a brief moment, the sensation so strong it felt as if the world had collapsed around you. When your breathing finally steadied, you found his hot body pressed against yours, moving in tiny tremors, quickened breaths brushing against your jaw.

He stayed inside you for a few moments longer, savoring the closeness, your hands continuing to caress his back, each touch a silent promise. Then, slowly, he pulled out of you, leaving you feeling achingly empty, his cum trickling from your entrance.

He fell limply beside you, his body slick with sweat, and pulled you close to him, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. His breaths, still heaving, crashed against your damp skin, wrapping you in warmth. Unable to muster the energy to move, you let your eyes flutter closed, surrendering to a deep, exhausted sleep that you would not remember when you woke up...

No, you didn't remember any dream, Because when you opened your eyes the next morning, you stirred in place and your muscles ached pleasantly, reminding you of the night before. And as you stretched your arms across the bed, your fingers grazed the sheets, feeling an emptiness beside you.

When you looked to your sides, the realization hit you hard.

Joel was gone.

taglist: @orcasoul

[foreverisntenough]

‘Movie Night’

Summary: If only life was like the movies. For years, you’d flirted with the idea of something more with Trent, your brother’s best friend.  You'd always danced around the edges of something more with him, sharing flirty moments that felt like scenes straight from the cinema. You had been silently desperate for the main character of your life’s film to finally get the boy but you knew moments like that were saved for Hollywood. The lines were clear; you were always going to be his mate’s little sister. So what happens when you go off script? In a whirlwind of passion, secrets, and stolen moments, you're left wondering: will you and your brother's best friend get the happy ending you've been waiting for, or was it never meant to be more than a fantasy? 

Index:

Warnings: This series is 18+ MDNI [ smut, slight mention of dv, loss of a parent, drinking - not sure what else really… if i miss anything please lmk!

Note: Thank you for reading! Please be sure to like, comment, or message me what you think of the series!

Chapter 2 - Bruises | ‘Movie Night'

word count - 10.6k

Trent slumped down next to Noah, running a hand over his hair, his thoughts all over the place. It had been hard enough leaving you upstairs, seeing you so vulnerable, so close. Noah nudged him, a smirk playing on his lips.

“Mate, seriously—what is the deal with you two?” Noah asked, raising an eyebrow. “She’s putty in your hands, and you’re practically breathing down her neck. Thought you’d snap eventually but you just keep dragging it out.” Trent let out a frustrated sigh, leaning back against the couch. 

“I don’t even know, mate. I can’t keep this up. Every time I’m around her lately, it feels impossible to just… be her friend.” He shook his head. “But Jack would kill me, you know that.” Noah burst into laughter, shaking his head. 

“Trenty, it’s been years of this. You’re acting like this tension is new! This is, hands down, the longest and most intense case of foreplay I’ve ever seen. Even Jack’s gotta know by now.” Noah smirked. Trent rubbed the back of his neck, a guilty grin breaking through. 

“Yeah, but it’s different now. She’s… she’s not just Jack’s sister anymore. It’s like she’s looking at me the same way I look at her.”  He groaned and then he let out a shaky breath, feeling exposed for the first time. “And tonight—I feel like she’s slipping, no? Just hard to leave her room after all that. I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.” Noah leaned in, eyes glinting with amusement. “Mateeee.” Trent groaned once more for good measure. 

“Bro, you gotta sort this. You can’t go on like this forever.” He clapped Trent on the shoulder. Trent chuckled, a little embarrassed but unable to deny how much he wanted you. 

“I know. But I’m just trying to play it smart, you know? I don’t want to hurt her but Jack’s my boy.” Noah raised an eyebrow, laughing harder. 

“Play it smart? Just try not to trip over yourself sneaking back upstairs.” He teased. With one last laugh, Trent let himself sink into his thoughts of you, wondering how much longer he could hold himself back.

Another night of drinking to forget came. You knew it wasn’t the healthiest method, but it was maybe the most fun. The club was packed, pulsing with the beat of the music and the energy of people letting loose on a Saturday night. You had dragged Layla along with you to have a fun night out, a chance to unwind and forget about all the stress from the past week. You were in good spirits, laughing and dancing with Layla, letting the music take over. But everything shifted when you spotted him—your sort of ex, a footballer for Manchester United, Josh. If playing for that club wasn’t enough of a reason for you to hate him, he also was just an awful person.  He was standing by the bar, surrounded by his friends, looking as arrogant as ever. You tried to ignore him, but it was clear he had seen you too. A smirk tugged at his lips as he pushed through the crowd, heading straight for you.

“YN!” he called out over the music, a mocking tone in his voice. “Long time no see.” You forced a polite smile, not wanting to cause a scene but you knew this was being done to be rude.

 “Hey,” you replied shortly, hoping he’d get the hint and move on. But he didn’t.

“What’s the matter? Not happy to see me?” he jeered, leaning in closer than necessary. You could smell the alcohol on his breath, could see the malice in his eyes.

“I’m just here to have a good time with Layla,” you said, trying to keep your tone even. “I’d rather not—” But he cut you off, his voice dripping with sarcasm. 

“Oh, come on, don’t be like that. You were always such a good girl, Y/N. Too good for the likes of me, right? Or maybe you’re just playing hard to get?” He sang in an obnoxious tone. You’d ‘split’ because you didn’t like each other enough. It was sex and that was about it. Josh particularly didn’t like that no matter what, you’d never look at him the way you looked at Trent and so he blamed the split on you. Despite him ending it, it was your wrong doing apparently.  

“She doesn’t want to talk to you, yeah? Fuck off.” Layla stepped in, sensing the tension. He sneered at Layla before turning his attention back to you. 

“What’s the matter, YN? Still pining after Alexander-Arnold? Aye just get it through that pretty little head, he’s never going to want you.” The words stung, sharper than you expected. You rolled your eyes and he didn’t take kindly to that. Even though you didn’t care for him anymore, his cruelness cut deep. Tears welled up in your eyes despite yourself.  Josh had never been the kind to hold back, not even in public. You had seen glimpses of his temper before, but tonight, it felt different—meaner, more deliberate. His words were mocking as his fingers gripped your arm with a force that made your skin sting, and as he leaned in closer, his words grew more venomous.  "What, are you going to cry now?" he spat, tightening his hold on you. His grip was firm, biting into your flesh with enough pressure to bruise. You winced, trying to twist free, but he only tightened his grip, his nails digging into your skin. He was holding you close to him, he was angry in a possessive way. You could feel the bruise forming under his touch, a dark mark that would remind you of this night long after it was over. You hated how he could make you feel so small, how he could strip away every ounce of confidence with just a few words and a harsh grip.

“Please just stop,” you snapped, your voice breaking. You tried to yank your arm away again, but he only pulled you closer, his lips curling into a cruel smile. He pulled you away from everyone so it was just the two of you. You felt a wave of shame, not just for the scene he was causing but for yourself—for letting him do this to you, for putting up with it, for not having the strength to push him away once and for all. Layla didn’t know what to do. So often you had said it was fine with him but right now it felt anything but.  You didn’t know why you even put up with him, why you had let him into your life at all. He had always been like this—aggressive, dominating, possessive,always needing to control every situation, even when you were out in public. It was as if he thrived on belittling you, on reminding you of every perceived flaw, every mistake you’d made.  He leaned in closer, his breath hot against your ear. 

“You’ll be nothing without me, know that?” he hissed, his grip tightening painfully. You flinched, the pain radiating up your arm. “You’ll always be nothing.” The tears blurred your vision, and you hated yourself for letting him see you cry. You hated how he still had this power over you, how he could reduce you to this—a sobbing, broken mess in the middle of a crowded club. You hated how he could strip you of your dignity with just a few cruel words and a tight grip on your arm. Somewhere in the haze of your thoughts, you found the strength to pull away. You jerked your arm back with a sudden burst of energy, managing to break free from his grasp. You stumbled back, cradling your bruised arm against your chest, the sting of the fresh bruise radiating through your skin. You looked up at him, your vision blurry with tears, your chest heaving with a mix of anger, hurt, and frustration.

“I’m done. We’re done” you choked out, the words barely more than a whisper. “I get it. Just let it go, okay?” You whimpered. He just laughed, a dark, hollow sound that sent a chill down your spine. 

“You’ll be back, babe” he called after you as you tried to leave, his voice dripping with arrogance. “You always come back.”  You hated that you had gone back to him before, that you had let yourself get tangled up in his web of anger and possessiveness. The sex had been good—at least, that's what you told yourself. But he had cheated on you more times than you could count, though you were never really sure if it counted as cheating. Your relationship had always been undefined, a messy entanglement of emotions and misunderstandings. He was hypocritical, a storm ready to explode any time he saw you so much as smile at another man. And yet, there you were, always caught in the crossfire of his jealousy and rage. It didn’t matter what he did, his whole goal was to just have complete control over you and Trent threw a wrench in that. He especially hated Trent. It wasn't just because they played for rival clubs, though that was part of it. It was deeper than football. He saw the way your eyes lingered on Trent, the way your face softened when you spoke his name. He knew there was something there, a connection that went beyond friendly banter or casual attraction. Trent was everything he was not—calm, kind, successful in a way that made others admire rather than fear him. And you—God, he could see it—your feelings for Trent were written all over your face, in the way you laughed at his jokes, in the way you always seemed to find yourself at his side. He resented Trent for being everything he wasn’t and for being the object of your affections. You ootd to keep Josh’s behavior hidden from your brother, somehow managing to mask how fucked up it all was. Jack didn't know how deep your ex’s temper ran or how controlling he could be. But if he knew.. If Jack knew or even his friends knew but probably especially Trent knew… all hell would break loose.  So you’d learned how to swallow back the stories, pretending that everything was fine. 

“Can you just leave me alone,” you managed to say, your voice breaking. 

“You’re pathetic, you know that?” He leaned in, his voice a harsh whisper. “Does your brother know you slut yourself out for his best friend? What’s your dad think of that... Being a whore for the boys your brother trusts most… and your mum.. Oh well.. You wouldn’t know what she thinks of her slutty little daughter.” That was the last straw. You hated that you even trusted him enough that he had that bit of information about your life. You felt the tears spill over, and you turned and bolted, pushing your way through the crowd. You needed to get away, to breathe, to clear your head. Your heart was pounding, and your vision blurred with tears. You stumbled trying to get to the back hallway of the club, your breath coming in short, panicked gasps. Layla had seen enough. 

“Fuck you!” Layla screamed rushing over but when she turned to try to follow after you, you were lost in the crowds. Unbeknownst to you, Trent had been at the club too, celebrating with a few of his teammates. He had seen you running, and had noticed the distress on your face. Without a second thought, he followed you, his concern outweighing any questions about why you were there or what had happened. The flashing lights of the club blurred around you, a kaleidoscope of colors that seemed to spin faster with each passing second. The pounding bass reverberated through your chest, matching the erratic beat of your heart. You felt dizzy, your thoughts swirling like the flickering neon signs above. The laughter and shouts of the crowd melted into a distant, muddled hum as your vision began to swim. Tears streaked your cheeks, hot and unchecked, as you stumbled through the throngs of people. The room felt like it was closing in on you, walls shrinking as the faces around you became distorted, like a nightmare you couldn’t escape. Your breath came in shallow, uneven gasps, each one catching in your throat as you fought the rising tide of panic.

You could barely think straight, your mind a haze of confusion and pain. Everything felt wrong—your body, the people around you, the pounding music that seemed to pulse through your veins. You wanted to escape, to find a place where you could breathe again, but everywhere you turned, there were people, faces, eyes. It was too much, all of it pressing down on you, squeezing your chest until you thought you might break. Your legs felt heavy, your steps unsteady as if the ground were shifting beneath your feet. You pushed through the crowd, desperate for air, for space, for anything but this suffocating chaos. Your tears blurred your vision, and you wiped at her eyes, her hand trembling. Then, through the haze, you felt it—strong arms wrapping around you, pulling you close. At first, you panicked, thinking it was someone else, another stranger trying to touch you, but then you caught a familiar scent, a mix of cologne and something uniquely comforting.

Trent.

Your body sagged with relief, your knees nearly buckling beneath you as you collapsed against his chest. His arms were solid and warm, encircling you like a protective barrier against the chaos of the club. You felt his hand on the back of your head, gently cradling you as he whispered soothing words you could barely hear over the music. Then for the first time, Trent saw a bruise forming on your arm. His face was a mask of concern, his eyes darkening with anger as he took in the sight of you, your arm marked with the telltale signs of aggression. 

"Y/N," he whispered, stepping back before reaching out to gently lift your arm, his touch featherlight but steady. He turned it over, revealing the bruises that had already started to bloom in shades of purple and blue. His jaw clenched, and his grip tightened just enough for you to feel his rage simmering beneath the surface. "Who did this to you?" You tried to pull away, tried to hide the evidence of your shame and pain, but Trent wouldn't let go. It was so obvious it came from someone grubbing you too tight, being too rough in a way no one wanted. His hand held yours firmly, his thumb brushing against your skin as if he could erase the marks with a touch. 

"Please," you muttered, your voice breaking, "stop." you weakly begged.

"Y/N…" he insisted, his voice low and steady, but with an edge that made it clear he wasn't going to let this go. "Who…" He snapped demandingly. Your eyes filled with tears as you looked up at him, the weight of everything crashing down on you. Trent's face hardened, his eyes narrowing as he took in you attempting to tell him what just happened but he couldn’t focus on anything but how sad you looked, how broken. He pulled you closer, wrapping you in his arms as if to shield you from the world, from the pain, from everything that had ever hurt you. In that moment, you felt safe for the first time in what seemed like forever. His arms were your refuge, his strength your solace. Trent's blood boiled with a fury he rarely felt, his hands shaking with the need to do something—anything—to make Josh, who he knew it had to have been, pay for what he'd done. But then he saw your tear-streaked face, your lips trembling as you tried to hold back sobs, and all that rage took a back seat. His anger didn't matter right now; you mattered. Your body shuddered with each sob, and Trent felt a pang of helplessness in his chest. He wanted to tell you everything would be alright, that he'd take care of everything. He wanted to promise that no one would ever hurt you again. But he knew that words wouldn’t be enough, not now. So, he just held you tighter, letting you cry into his shirt, his thumb brushing away the tears that spilled down your cheeks. “Hey, hey, hey, you're okay. I’ve got you,” he murmured, his voice a low, steady rumble that cut through the noise, anchoring you to the present. You buried your face against his chest, your hands clutching at his shirt as if he were the only thing keeping you from drowning. The tears kept coming, but they were different now—less frantic, more a release of all the tension you had been holding onto. Trent’s embrace was a lifeline, pulling you back from the edge of the abyss you had been teetering on. The world around you seemed to fade, the thumping bass and flashing lights dimming in comparison to the steady, comforting rhythm of Trent’s heartbeat against your ear. You could feel his warmth seeping into you, calming the storm that raged inside you. In his arms, you felt a safety you hadn’t known she needed—a reassurance that, despite everything, you weren’t alone.

“Just breathe for me,” Trent whispered, his voice soft and close to your ear. “I’m here. You’re safe.” You tried to do as he said, taking a shaky breath that caught in your throat. But with him holding you, the air seemed easier to draw in, the panic slowly ebbing away. The tears continued to fall, but now they were softer, quieter, as if his presence was slowly soothing the hurt you felt. For a moment, there was only you—no noise, no crowd, no chaos. Just the steady beat of his heart and the warmth of his embrace. Trent held you tightly, his grip firm yet gentle, his touch grounding you in a way that made you feel like maybe, just maybe, everything would be alright. You stood in there struggling to catch your breath as Trent's arms wrapped around you, pulling you close. The familiar scent of his cologne mixed with the faint smell of spilled drinks and cigarette smoke, grounding you in a way that felt comforting and electric all at once. He tightened his hold, his chin resting on the top of your head, and his fingers tracing soothing circles along your back. But even as he tried to comfort you, a battle still raged inside him. Part of him wanted to go find Josh right then and there, to make him pay for every single bruise on your skin, every tear he'd caused. The other part of him—the rational part—knew he needed to stay with you, to keep you safe and calm. And then there was the question he couldn't push away: Should he tell Jack?  Jack was his best friend, but Jack was also your brother. He deserved to know that his sister had been hurt, but Trent also knew how fiercely protective Jack was of you. If he told Jack, there’d be no holding him back, and things could spiral out of control. Plus, he wasn't sure if you'd want Jack to know—if you'd want your brother to see you in this vulnerable state.

"I got you," he whispered as his thoughts spiraled, his voice filled with a tenderness you hadn't felt in a long time. "I got you, okay?" You felt something break in that moment-a wall you'd kept up around yourself for so long. And when his lips brushed the top of your head in a soft kiss, something stirred inside you, a longing that had been quietly simmering for years. It felt like an opening. Your heart raced as you pulled back slightly, your gaze finding his, and in the dim light, his eyes softened, a silent understanding passing between you. You hesitated, but then, almost instinctively, you tilted up, pressing your lips to his. It was a tentative kiss at first, a question in every touch of your lips against his. Trent tensed, caught off guard, but he didn't pull away. He wanted this so instead, his hands found your waist, his fingers digging in ever so slightly as he kissed you back, the warmth of his mouth melting away the hurt that had clung to you since your ex's cruel words. The world around you disappeared, leaving just the two of you tangled together, like a fuse that had finally been lit. The kiss grew deeper, hungrier, years of unspoken attraction finally bubbling over. His hands roamed, his grip on you tightening as he leaned into you, pushing you up against the cool brick wall behind you. Every touch, every brush of his lips against yours, felt like it was meant to be, like you'd waited your whole life for this moment. God, he wanted this… but not like this. This was wrong. So then, just as quickly as it started, he pulled back, his breathing heavy as he looked at you with wide eyes, his expression torn between disbelief and something deeper. 

"What...Y/N… what are we doing?" he asked, his voice barely more than a whisper, his fingers still lingering on your skin. The conflict in his eyes was clear, and it sent a pang through your chest. But you didn't care about the doubts racing through his mind. You leaned in again, refusing to let go of this feeling. To remind him how very right this wrong was. The kiss was softer this time, gentler, but just as consuming. You poured everything into it—all the years of longing, the quiet, unspoken feelings, the ache you'd felt every time you saw him with someone else. And for a moment, he gave in, his lips moving against yours like he'd been holding back for years. You could feel him wanting more but then, with a deep sigh, he pulled away once more, his forehead resting against yours as he tried to steady his breathing. "Y/ N... we can't. I can't," he murmured, his voice thick with regret. "I'm sorry. I just..." He muttered. The rejection cut deeper than you expected, the pain raw and immediate. Your eyes burned with fresh tears as you took a shaLay step back, your heart pounding with a mix of heartbreak and anger.  

"Fuck you!" you cried, your voice trembling. It felt like the walls you'd let down were crashing back up, each one harder than before. You turned on your heel, ready to escape before he saw you fall apart completely. But he reached out, his hand grazing your arm, as if he couldn't quite let you go. You recoiled, stepping back, your expression a mix of pain and anger. 

"Wait," he pleaded softly, but you yanked your arm from his grasp, your heart shattering as you disappeared into the crowd, leaving him behind with the lingering taste of regret on his lips. Trent’s heart ached seeing the tears well up in your eyes again.  You turned and ran, pushing your way back through the crowd, your vision blurred with tears. You didn’t care where you were going; you just needed to get away from him, from the humiliation and the heartbreak. You could feel the weight of his gaze on you as you fled, but you didn’t look back. Trent watched you go, his heart sinking into his stomach. He wanted to run after you, to explain, to somehow make it right, but his feet felt like they were glued to the floor. He knew you needed space, needed time to cool off. But as he stood there, the guilt and worry gnawed at him. He had never wanted to hurt you, but in trying to protect you, he feared he had done exactly that. The sounds of the club grew louder around him, but Trent felt miles away, lost in his thoughts. He knew he’d have to find a way to make this right with you, to explain himself, and to make sure you knew how much he cared. But for now, all he could do was watch you disappear into the crowd, your absence leaving a painful ache in his chest. Trent leaned back against the wall, trying to process what had just happened. Some of his teammates who he was out with came over. They were giving him confused looks, clearly curious about the scene they had just witnessed. From their perspective, he had chased after to a a teary-eyed girl, who then kissed him like her life depended on it, and then, just as quickly, pulled away with a broken ‘fuck you.’ They had questions.

“Mate, what was that about?” one of them asked, laughing awkwardly, unsure how to react to the tension still lingering in the air.

“Bro, was that…” Another piled on cautiously, recognizing you. Trent ran his hands over his face, trying to shake off the flood of emotions. He glanced toward the crowd, desperately scanning for you, but you’d disappeared into the sea of people. His chest tightened, and he let out a heavy sigh, feeling the weight of what just happened settle in. He couldn’t explain it, not to them, not in a way that made any sense. 

“Yeah, was Jack’s sister.” He muttered after he took a deep breath, eyes still flicking toward the direction you’d gone. The second those words left his mouth, Trent knew something had shifted inside him. It wasn’t a lie, not really, but it felt bigger than that. It felt like a realization he’d been avoiding for too long. You weren’t just Jack’s sister. You were his everything. And the truth of that hit him like a freight train, leaving him standing there, breathless and rattled.

“Fuck, mate. That’s complicated.”  One of his teammates whistled, finally connecting the dots.

“Yeah,” Trent breathed out, his mind racing. It was beyond complicated. Jack was his best friend, and you… you were the girl who had been slowly slipping from childhood crush to something deeper, something dangerous. He shook his head, his thoughts swirling. The way you’d kissed him tonight, the hurt in your eyes, the fire in the way you’d pulled away—it was like everything had boiled over, and Trent had been too slow to catch up. He’d rejected you, not because he didn’t want you, but because he wanted you too much. He couldn’t handle the idea of hurting Jack, of crossing a line that could never be uncrossed. But now, standing there with his teammates still glancing at him for answers, he realized that line had already been blurred for a while. You weren’t just Jack’s sister. You hadn’t been for a long time. And now, Trent wasn’t sure how much longer he could keep pretending otherwise. As the music pulsed around him, Trent felt a shift. He needed to find you, needed to figure out what came next, no matter how messy it got. Because, after tonight, he knew he couldn’t go back to seeing you as just Jack’s little sister. You were more than that. You always had been. 

After leaving Trent behind, you had stumbled back into the chaos of the dance floor, your heart pounding and your emotions a tangled mess. You had felt rejected and humiliated, and in a haze of frustration and alcohol, you made a poor decision. You spotted a man at the bar—a tall, handsome stranger who had been eyeing you all night. Without much thought, you walked up to him and struck up a conversation. His flirty smile and eager compliments were a welcome distraction from the pain you felt. When he suggested you leave together far sooner than appropriate, you didn’t hesitate. You just wanted to forget, to numb the ache in your chest caused by Trent's rejection. You told Layla you felt sick and had needed to leave. She knew it was a farce but she also knew she couldn't stop you. She assumed it was just Josh being an ass she had no idea you had just kissed Trent. She called and called to find you; to leave with you but you just texted saying it was all fine. But as the night unfolded and you found yourself in the stranger's bed, you quickly realized how hollow it all felt. The sex was awkward and unfulfilling, a stark contrast to the passion you had imagined when you thought of Trent. You found yourself comparing the man to Trent in every way—his touch, his movements, the way he spoke to you. Every comparison only made you miss Trent more. You knew deep down that Trent would have been different—gentler or maybe rougher but definitely more attentive, more real. Tears stung your eyes as you lay there, regretting your impulsive decision. This was a low. By the time morning came, you left the stranger's place without a word, feeling emptier than before. You hadn’t heard from Trent since that night. Part of you was relieved, thinking it was better this way—less complicated. But another part of you ached for him, for his presence, for the safety you felt in his arms. 

You’d stumbled in through your front door just after dawn, your steps heavy and uneven, your head pounding with every movement. Jack was already up, a coffee mug in hand, leaning against the kitchen counter with a lazy grin. 

“Rough night?” he joked, his eyes barely glancing up from his phone. “You look like you’ve been through hell.” You tried to muster a response, but all that came out was a soft hum, barely audible over the sound of the coffee machine. Your shoulders slumped as you shuffled over to the fridge, your body moving on autopilot. The sting of tears was still fresh in your eyes, but you refused to let them fall again, not in front of him. Jack finally looked up from his phone, his grin fading when he saw the look on your face. He straightened up, setting his mug down on the counter, his brow furrowing with concern. “Hey, you okay?” he asked, his voice softer now, more serious.  You just hummed again, the sound weak and empty. You didn’t have the energy to explain, didn’t want to get into it with him. Not now. Not after everything that had happened. You could feel his eyes on you, watching you closely, but you kept your gaze fixed on the floor, avoiding his gaze. Jack took a step closer, his concern growing. “You sure?” he pressed gently, sensing something was wrong. “You don’t look so good.” You just shook your head, not trusting yourself to speak. Your throat felt tight, your chest aching with the effort of holding everything in. You needed to get out of there, away from his questions and his worry. You couldn’t deal with it, not now.

“I’m fine,” you finally managed to say, your voice barely more than a whisper. It was a lie, and you knew he could see right through it, but you didn’t care. You needed to be alone, to let yourself fall apart without an audience. Jack watched you, his expression a mix of confusion and concern, but he didn’t push any further. He just nodded, letting you go. He knew you knew he was there if you needed him. 

 “Alright,” he said quietly, stepping back. “But if you need anything...” You nodded, not waiting for him to finish. You turned and headed upstairs, your steps heavy and slow. As soon as you reached your room, you closed the door behind you and sank onto your bed, burying your face in your hands as the tears finally came.  The weight of the night before crashed down on you, and you couldn’t hold back the sobs that tore through your chest. The shame, the regret, the confusion—it was all too much. You’d thought you could handle it, thought you could keep it together, but now, alone in your room, it all felt too heavy to bear. You cried until there were no tears left, your body shaking with the force of your sobs. And when you finally stopped, when the tears finally ran dry, you were left with nothing but the hollow ache in your chest and the haunting memory of Trent’s rejection.

You were absolutely mortified. You had kissed Trent. How could you have done something so reckless? You laid there, staring blankly at the ceiling on Layla’s bed at her place, your mind racing in sheer panic. Every nerve in your body felt on edge, replaying that moment over and over. What was worse was that it never happened before, not even close, but something had come over you—like instinct taking over reason—and now you regretted it. Layla shifted beside you, sensing your turmoil. 

“Come on, it won’t that bad,” she said in an attempt to soften the blow. You groaned, rolling onto your side to face her. 

“No, Lays. I can never, ever see him again.” The words came out in a rush, your voice cracking under the weight of your embarrassment. She raised an eyebrow, clearly not buying it. 

“That’s not true.” She told you. You sat up, hugging your knees to your chest, your breath shaking. 

“It is! I crossed the line. And he… rejected me.” The last part was barely a whisper, like speaking it aloud made the sting of it even worse. You felt your face grow hot, the emotions swelling until they spilled over. The rejection was unbearable, and before you knew it, tears slipped down your cheeks. You tried to laugh it off, wiping at your face. “I’m sorry, I’m just tired,” you said, your voice wavering between a sob and a chuckle. Layla immediately wrapped you in her arms, pulling you close. 

“No, it’s not just tiredness,” she murmured into your hair, holding you tightly. “This sucks. The boy you like just said no. That’s a lot to handle, but we move.” You stayed in her embrace, taking in her warmth, but her words only made your heart ache more.

“I’m not even sure if I just like him,” you admitted, voice small and hollow as you pulled away slightly to look at her. Layla’s face twisted in confusion. 

“What?” she asked, blinking, and then a knowing look crossed her face as she softened. “Oh no. Babe…” You swallowed hard, blinking back more tears. 

“I mean, I do… but it’s more complicated than that. It’s not just like.” The weight of the word hung in the air between you both, unspoken but understood.

“You love him,” Layla said quietly with a frown she couldn’t control, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “But maybe right now, the feeling of love is for your friend.” She paused, her eyes full of sympathy. “You don’t need to hurt yourself imagining anything more, okay? Not right now.” You bit your lip and nodded, the tears still threatening to spill over. You were exhausted, heartbroken, confused.  You knew you loved Trent as Jack's best friend, as a friend of your own but you had never had an intimate relationship to say you loved him any deeper than that. The thought of those feelings right now though were making you sick.

“But what if I can’t face him? What if it’s too awkward?” Layla shook her head and gave you a reassuring squeeze. 

“You’ll bounce back. Trent’s nice. He’s not going to make fun of you for this or make it weird. You two have been friends for too long for that.” But deep down, you couldn’t shake the sting of rejection. Maybe Layla was right—Trent wouldn’t make fun of you, but things weren’t the same anymore. Not after this.

When Jack invited Trent along with all the other boys over for a movie night a few days later, Trent was hesitant. He knew you might be home, and he wasn’t sure how you’d feel seeing him. But Jack was his best friend, and Trent figured maybe it was time to face the music. As Trent walked up to Jack’s front door, his nerves were on edge. He took a deep breath and knocked, his mind racing with what he might say if you were there. The door swung open, and Jack greeted him with a grin, pulling him into a quick hug.

“All good, mate?” Jack said, stepping aside to let Trent in. But Trent only hummed. He managed a smile, following Jack inside. He glanced around the living room, half-expecting to see you curled up on the couch. But the room was empty. “Y/N’s out,” Jack said casually, noticing Trent’s quick survey of the room. “I think she’s been a bit off lately. Haven’t seen much of her.” Trent nodded, trying to hide his relief that you weren’t home but sadness Jack noticed things were off.. 

“Yeah, I haven’t seen her either,” he replied, his voice steady despite the churn in his stomach. Jack grabbed a bottle of water and handed one to Trent.

“She seemed pretty fucked up when she came back from a night out but didn’t tell me much, though.” Trent took a long sip of his water, not sure how to respond.  Jack and Trent were sitting in silence on their phones only best friends could sit in whilst waiting in the kitchen for the other boys to show up. Trent kept glancing toward the hallway, waiting for the moment you would come home. He wanted to see you, to talk to you, to somehow make things right. But as the minutes ticked by and there was no sign of you, a sense of unease settled in his chest. The sound of a key turning in the front door caught Trent’s attention. He tensed, his heart quickening as he heard the door open and close. A few seconds later, you appeared strutting through the house, your face mildly flushed from the summer heat outside. You froze when you saw Trent sitting there, your expression shifting from surprise to something unreadable. 

“Hey,” you said quietly, your voice tight.

“Hey,” Trent replied, his eyes locked on you.  Jack, sensing the tension, cleared his throat. 

“Hey, Y/N. Weird vibe but erm.. Lads are watching Shawshank tonight. Want to join?” He asked, trying to lessen whatever awkwardness just flooded the room. You shook your head, avoiding Trent’s gaze. 

“No, thanks. I’m just going to head to my room.” Jack looked between the two of you, frowning slightly. 

“You sure? You haven’t been out here much lately.” He cooed gently. 

“I’m sure,” you smiled sympathetically at your older brother. You appreciated him caring but this was far from something he could help with. You turned and disappeared down the hallway without another word. Trent watched you go, the weight of your unfinished business hanging heavy in the air. He knew he needed to talk to you, to explain himself, but he wasn’t sure if you’d even listen. For now, all he could do was sit and wait, hoping for a chance to make things right.

You had spent the last few days trying to keep yourself busy, but no matter what you did, you couldn’t get Trent out of your mind. Trent, on the other hand, was torn between worry and respect for your space. He had tried to find you that night at the club, but it was like you had vanished into thin air. He didn’t want to push you, especially after how things had ended between you. Still, the thought of your hurt and alone gnawed at him. Trent thought about that kiss everyday and how much withstraint he was having to practice. He wanted to rip your clothes off, he had to stop his hands' magnetic pull to grab your ass. It was a typical movie night—Jack had all the boys over for another film. They’d yell through the whole thing and gossip in a way they’d claim only girls did. You knew the drill by now, but tonight felt different. You hadn’t seen Trent since that moment, the kiss that had turned everything upside down. You tried to ignore how awkward things were between you and trent but you were dying of thirst and you weren’t sure if dying of embarrassment of dehydration would be worse, You settled on dehydration so you moved quickly through the house, attempting to avoid where all the boys were, but Trent wasn’t going to let it go. He heard you try to sneak into the kitchen.

“Y/N,” he called out quietly, coming into the room behind you and taking a few steps toward you. You froze, your back to him, the tension thick in the air. You could hear Jack in the cinema complaining about something, completely oblivious you’d hoped. You weren’t ready for this, not now, not when your emotions were so raw.

“Please, I don’t want to talk to you,” you said firmly, your voice low, trying to keep the emotion out of it.

“Y/N, come on… just give me a minute,” he persisted, his voice filled with a quiet plea.You whipped around, eyes already welling up. 

“Trent, I really don’t want to talk to you,” you snapped, trying to hold your composure. “Frankly, I’m having a hard time even just seeing you right now, so please,” you begged, your voice cracking under the weight of it all. You could feel your chest tightening, the tears threatening to spill. His face softened, but he didn’t move.

“I just want to talk. Please,” he said, sounding desperate now, like he was grasping at straws. But you couldn’t do this. Not here. Not with Jack just a few rooms away. You shook your head, blinking back tears, but one escaped anyway. 

“I don’t want to talk,” you choked out, your voice shaLay, as the tears began to build along your lash line. Trent stood there, helpless. His hands flexed at his sides like he didn’t know what to do, caught between wanting to comfort you and knowing that he couldn’t—not here, not now. You could see the frustration and guilt etched on his face, but it didn’t matter. You didn’t have the energy to deal with this.

“Y/N,” he whispered, his voice laced with regret. But you just shook your head again and walked out of the room, leaving him standing there, stuck in the mess that neither of you had any idea how to clean up. And the worst part was, Jack was still there—completely unaware of the storm brewing between you two, his heart left open to wounded arguably as much as yours if you couldn’t sort this.

Trent thought about that drunk, tearful kiss at the club every single day. It replayed in his mind over and over, the taste of it, the way your lips had trembled against his, the way your hands had gripped onto him like he was the only thing anchoring you. He hadn't even expected it—had been caught off guard by how much he wanted it too. But then, the reality had hit him hard. The restraint he had to practice afterward felt like torture. It felt like trying to fight a g force the way his hands moved on your body. He wanted to rip your clothes off that night, to give in to the magnetic pull that constantly drew him to you. But he couldn't. Not like that. Not when you were drunk and emotional. Not when it could ruin everything. Now, the moment haunted him, and he was stuck in the limbo of not knowing what to do next. What if you regretted it? What if that kiss had meant something completely different to you than it did to him? And what scared him the most-what kept him up at night-was the realization that he didn't just want the kiss. He wanted more than that. He wanted you in a way that wasn't just about desire or physical attraction. He wanted to be the one who made you smile, who you leaned on, who you could trust with all the messy bits of life. But what if he'd already blown his chance? What if that kiss had been the beginning of the end rather than the start of something more? 

This tension carried on for days. Neither you or Trent making any further attempts at sorting it. Trent sat at a restaurant with Jack and Noah one night, completely lost in his own thoughts. His fork hovered above his plate, food untouched, as he stared blankly at the table. Jack, noticing how quiet he’d been, shot Noah a look. They’d been trying to get him to open up all night, but nothing was working.

“Mate, seriously, what’s going on?” Jack finally asked, setting down his drink. “You’ve barely said two words.”

“Yeah, you’ve been in your own head all night. Go on.” Noah chimed in. Trent talked nonstop all the time so this was very out of character and it’d been going on for over a week. Trent shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He wasn’t sure if this was something he should even bring up, especially not with Jack sitting right there. But the weight of what happened between him and you had been pressing down on him for days, and he couldn’t keep it to himself anymore. He ran a hand over his hair, debating how to word it without setting off alarm bells.

“Have you ever…” he began slowly, his voice low, “turned down a girl and then immediately regretted it?” He sheepishly asked his eyes, flicking to both boys trying to gauge their responses. 

“Nah, mate. If I turn her down, it’s for a reason.” Noah, always the confident one, scoffed.

“Yeah, once or twice. Why?” But Jack, ever the romantic, leaned back in his chair with a thoughtful nod. Trent’s eyes flickered between them, his stomach churning as he chose his next words carefully. He had to be vague, had to make sure Jack wouldn’t catch on.

“There’s this girl…” he started. He hesitated, feeling the weight of his own words. “She kissed me, but she was drunk, so I pushed her away. Now she’s pissed, and she won’t talk to me.” Trent hesitantly explained. Trent wasn’t normally shy talking about women so this whole thing was very confusing for his friends.

“So why did you turn her down if you’re this worked up about it?” Noah’s brow furrowed.

“Because she was drunk!” Trent said, frustration lacing his voice. He looked down at the table, unable to meet their eyes. “I didn’t want it to be like that.” Jack shrugged, clearly puzzled. 

“That’s more than valid, mate. If she was drunk, you did the right thing. Why wouldn’t she understand that?” Trent groaned inwardly, knowing he couldn’t explain the real reason behind his frustration without giving too much away. The truth was, he didn’t want just a drunken kiss. He wanted more than that—something real, something that wasn’t just swept under the rug as a mistake.

“It’s complicated,” he muttered, his voice trailing off. Noah, always the one to push for action, smirked.

 “Next time you see her, just go for it. Easy.” He looked at Trent like he had solved his issue no problem. Trent couldn’t help but laugh at the simplicity of Noah’s solution. If only it were that easy. He wasn’t just dealing with any girl—this was you, Jack’s sister. It wasn’t something he could just ‘go for’ without thinking about the consequences. Jack, who had been listening quietly, leaned forward with a more serious expression. 

“Mate, just talk to her. Tell her you actually care about her and that you want it to be something she remembers, not something that happened when she was drunk. Simple as.” Trent’s heart sank. Jack had unknowingly hit the nail on the head. That’s exactly what he wanted to say to you, but how could he? How could he tell you that he cared about you—really cared about you—when Jack was right there, completely unaware of the storm brewing between the two of you? He tried to keep his expression neutral as Jack gave advice, but guilt gnawed at him. He was about to take his best mate’s advice and use it to get closer to his little sister. The irony wasn’t lost on him, and it made his stomach twist. But he couldn’t keep running from the situation. He had to talk to you, had to tell you how he felt before it drove him insane. Noah, oblivious to the deeper layers of the situation, laughed and gave Trent a light punch on the arm. 

“Yeah, man. What’s the worst that could happen? You talk, she listens, and you two figure it out, I imagine she’s leng.. Get her in bed. Done.” Noah quipped and Trent’s guilt worsened. He forced a chuckle, but his mind was already elsewhere. What was the worst that could happen? Jack could find out. He could lose his best friend. You could reject him, or worse—tell him that kiss was nothing more than a drunken mistake. The thought made his chest tighten. But Noah’s lightheartedness didn’t calm Trent’s nerves. Jack’s advice, however, echoed in his mind—talk to her, tell her how you feel. Trent knew it was the right move, but the fear of rejection, of ruining everything, loomed over him like a dark cloud. As they finished dinner and paid the bill, Trent’s thoughts were already on what was coming next. He was heading to your house after this. You’d be there. Jack would be there. And somehow, amidst it all, he had to figure out how to have that conversation. As they walked to the cars, Jack patted Trent on the back. 

“You’ll be alright, mate. Just don’t overthink it.” Trent forced a smile, but his mind was racing. He couldn’t shake the anxiety bubbling inside him. Jack’s words rang in his ears, and he knew he had to take the advice, but how? As Trent drove to your house, the weight of everything pressed down on him. He was about to walk into a house where everything could change in a matter of minutes. He wanted more than a kiss, more than just a fleeting moment—but what if you didn’t? What if that kiss had meant nothing to you? You only said you didn’t want to see him… were you just mad. He couldn’t tell.  Pulling into the driveway, he took a deep breath, steeling himself for what was to come. He had to talk to you. He had to try, even if it scared him to death

Trent awkwardly made his way into the living room, his heart pounding as he spotted you already seated on the couch, a blanket wrapped around you. You looked adorable and it made him sadder. You were curled up in the corner, your eyes glued to the TV, but he could tell from the stiffness in your posture that you were aware of his presence. The soft glow from the screen cast a flickering light over your face, highlighting the tension in your jaw and the way your lips were pressed into a thin line. He hesitated for a moment, unsure if he should sit down. But with a deep breath, he took a seat next to you, careful to leave a respectful gap between you. The silence between you was thick, almost tangible, and he could feel the awkwardness settling over you like a heavy blanket. 

“Hey,” he said softly, glancing at her from the corner of his eye. You barely acknowledged him, giving a short nod without looking away from the TV. 

“Hey,” you replied curtly, your tone clipped. Trent’s heart sank a little at your cold reception. Never in his life had you greeted him like this and it was starting to eat at him but he couldn’t blame you. He knew he’d hurt you that night, and he was ready to face the consequences. He could imagine what he would feel like if you said no to him. Still, the distance between you now felt like a chasm, one he was desperate to cross. He kept his eyes on the screen, pretending to be engrossed in the show, but he was acutely aware of every small movement you made—the way you shifted slightly, the soft sound of your breath, the way your fingers fidgeted with the edge of the blanket. He wanted to say something, anything to bridge the gap, but the words seemed stuck in his throat. Minutes passed in silence, the tension between you unyielding. Trent’s mind raced with what he could say or do to make things right. He didn’t want to push you, didn’t want to overstep, but he also didn’t want to let this moment slip away without trying. Finally, gathering his courage, he reached out and gently placed his hand on your leg, just above your knee. It was a tentative touch, his fingers light and hesitant, but it was enough to make you stiffen slightly under his hand. You glanced down at his hand, then up at him, your eyes wide with surprise.

“Y/N,” he began, his voice soft but steady. “I didn’t mean to upset you that night.” He cooed gently. Your gaze remained on his hand for a moment longer before you sighed, your shoulders relaxing a fraction. 

“I’m sorry,” you said quietly, your voice barely above a whisper. “For… trying to kiss you. I was drunk and— Clearly that’s not something you want and I get that…” You earnestly and awkwardly were trying to apologize but Trent couldn’t help but chuckle softly, interrupting you. 

“You honestly think I didn’t want to kiss you back?” he asked, a hint of amusement in his tone. He kept his eyes on the TV, a coy smile tugging at his lips.  “Trust me, Y/N, it took everything in me to stop.” You looked at him, a flicker of confusion mixed with curiosity in your eyes. 

“Then why did you?” you asked, your voice softer now, almost vulnerable. Trent’s smile faded slightly as he turned to meet your gaze. 

“Because you were upset and not in a good place. I didn’t want you to think I was taking advantage of you, especially after what that asshole did to you.” You flinched at the mention of Josh, the hurt from his cruel words still fresh in your mind. You looked away, your eyes downcast. 

“He… he said some awful things. It wasn’t great,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. Trent’s grip on you tightened just a fraction, his touch becoming more reassuring. You sat there, your heart pounding as Trent's words hung in the air. He'd never spoken to you like that-direct, unfiltered, like he'd been holding back for too long. The way he placed his hand on your thigh, his fingers pressing just enough to make you aware of every inch of contact, sent a spark straight through you. Your mind raced to keep up, to make sense of what was happening, but he was already pushing forward, his tone low, serious, like he needed you to understand.

"That kid's a fucking idiot for losing you," he said, his voice tight, almost angry. "Saying whatever he could to make you feel small... he doesn't know shit about you, and you know that. Right?" You nodded slowly, words caught in your throat. It was true-you did know, somewhere deep down. But hearing it from Trent felt different, grounding, and it made the sting of your ex's words fade, bit by bit. Trent's hand stayed warm on your thigh, a quiet promise in the small gesture. You glanced up at him, your eyes searching his face. You could see the sincerity in his expression, the way his brow furrowed slightly with concern. 

“You really think that?” You asked quietly, your voice tinged with disbelief. Trent nodded, a small, earnest smile playing on his lips. 

“I know that. You’re smart, occasionally  funny,” he teased with a glint in his eyes and your lips curled,  “you’re the sweetest girl I know, and—” he hesitated for a moment, his cheeks flushing slightly, “—gorgeous. You’re fucking gorgeous. Anyone who can’t see that is a fucking donut.” He kept his eyes on the TV, trying to play it cool, trying to be nonchalant in case anyone else happened to come into the room but he could feel his heart hammering in his chest. He risked a quick glance at you and saw a soft smile slowly spreading across your face. The sight of it made his own heart lighten, the tension between you beginning to ease.

"Trent.." you started, wanting to say something, anything, but he shook his head slightly, a glimmer of intensity in his eyes.

"You're beautiful," he interrupted, each word sounding heavier than the last. It was like he'd been carrying them around, waiting for the right moment to let them out. You felt your cheeks flush, a mix of nerves and thrill rushing through you as his gaze stayed locked on yours. He leaned closer, lowering his voice so it’d be impossible for anyone else to hear, his hand firm on your thigh. "And just so you know... that's not the way you get bruises. Never again. I'll fucking kill him if he ever comes near you." His eyes were dark, protective in a way that felt both comforting and incredibly dangerous. Then, in the midst of the tension, he smirked, the intensity softening into something else, something teasing. "The only bruises you ever get are from not being bored in the bedroom. Yeah?” Your breath caught, your face flushing as his words registered. You recalled telling when you split with Josh citing boredom in the bedroom as a problem but you were surprised he remembered that. Surprised he just said that to you. Before you could respond, he gave you a wink, that same smirk lingering as he stood up and walked away, leaving you stunned, heart racing, and desperate for him to come back.

You laid in your bed later that night, staring up at the ceiling, your mind a whirlwind of thoughts about Trent. You could hear the low rumble of laughter drifting up from downstairs where Jack, Trent, and their friends were still hanging out. But your thoughts were miles away, lost in memories of Trent and all the moments you’d shared over the years. You closed your eyes and let the images flood your mind. The way he’d smile at you from across a room, a mischievous glint in his eyes, or the way he always seemed to find a reason to touch you—a hand on your shoulder, a playful nudge, his arm brushing against yours when they sat close. You thought about all the times he’d said sweet things to you, little compliments and comments that you’d always brushed off as friendly banter. You tried your entire life not to take the pet name ‘pretty girl’ too seriously, you always thought maybe he said that to every girl but now it felt personal and just for you. Was he talking about bruises in the bedroom in a sexual way, yeah 100% but did he mean that he would give them to you? Leave love bites on you? Your mind was racing.  But, lying there in the dark, you couldn’t help but wonder if there had been more to it. Your heart fluttered as you recalled the feel of his hand on your leg earlier tonight, the warmth of his touch and the firm yet gentle way he’d reassured you. You shivered, a pleasant tingle running through you as you thought of all the times his hands had been on you, even in the most innocent of ways. His touch always left a lingering warmth, a sensation that seemed to seep under your skin and settle deep within you, leaving you longing for more. You bit your lip, a wave of desire washing over you. In your longing haze, you wondered if maybe you’d been missing something all along. Had Trent been flirting with you all these years, in his subtle, teasing way but in all seriousness, did he want something? Was there something real to your relationship that you hadn’t let yourself see? Was it more than teasing? The thought sent a thrill through you, a mixture of excitement and nervous anticipation. Your fingers itched to reach for your phone, and before you could second-guess yourself, you grabbed it from your bedside table. You couldn’t shake what he said to you, Trent had made it clear-it wasn't that he wasn't interested. Now, you were ready to take the risk, fully aware that all the boys were together. It was dangerous, maybe even reckless, but that only made it more exhilarating. They were watching a movie in the cinema room, the lights dimmed, everyone absorbed in whatever action scene was playing on the screen. You were upstairs in bed, restless and buzzing with anticipation. You flipped your phone camera to 0.5 to catch yourself at a high angle, tits prominently displayed in your thin bralette, the flash making your nipples obviously visible. You typed out a message, your fingers moving faster than your brain could catch up.

"Is this the appropriate place to get those bruises you were talking about?"

You pressed send, heart pounding in your chest. The silence afterward was deafening as you waited for a response. It was insane you just did this, but you couldn't back out now. A part of you wished you could retract it but there it was… ��read.’ Trent opened the message, his heart skipping a beat. He blinked, unsure if he'd seen it right, unsure if you had actually sent it. This was the first time you'd ever texted him directly. Sure, you'd always been in the group chats-always flirty in your usual playful way-but nothing like this. The last personal message you'd sent was your order for a takeaway months ago, and before that, it had been something for your birthday and then passport details for a trip that seemed forever ago. A trip you weren’t sure why you were invited on to begin with but it was one where you'd teetered on the edge of something more with him but never quite tipped over. Now you had pushed things over that fragile edge with a stupid text. There was a reason for the limited texts though, because you knew it’d lead to something just like this. Trent swallowed hard, his eyes fixed on the image, the words beneath it repeating in his head. He couldn't let the boys see this but he also didn’t want to look away. He couldn’t… but he had to.

Quickly, he swiped out of the message, his phone burning hot in his hand. He shoved the phone into his lap, screen down, and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to focus on anything but the visual of you barely in that bralette. He felt a slow, stupid grin spread across his face despite his best efforts. His heart was racing, and he could feel the tension building inside him. He knew things were spiraling. He'd always told himself this was a line he couldn't cross, but now? Now, it felt inevitable. Trent moved, his thumb hovered over his phone. He dimmed the screen, adjusted his seat in the chair, trying to play it cool making sure the other boys were none the wiser. His mind was racing, wondering if this was you really finally putting your hat in the ring. And god, if it was... there was no way he could say no. Now, all that was left was his response. Trent took his time responding, trying to be as calculated as possible. You stared at the screen, your breath catching in your throat as you waited for his response. The dots appeared then disappeared only to reappear, showing he was typing back, and your heart leaped into your throat. What was he going to say? Had you gone too far? You felt a rush of adrenaline mixed with a hint of fear. But underneath it all was a simmering excitement you couldn’t deny. You could practically feel the tension building in the air around you. Finally, your phone buzzed with a new message, and you hesitated before opening it, your pulse racing…

•

Thank you for reading! Please like, comment, or message what you think of the chapter or of what's to come!

Next part - Chapter 3 - Crossed A Few Lines xx

[cherry-pop-elf]

New Chapter

Anya x Reader

Can be read as platonic because we all want the best for her

SUM: Anya gets an abortion so you and the rest of the crew wait for her. You were the first one, however, to see her after surgery. Also because fuck you, abortion rights

Warnings: Abortion, sexual assault, jimmy, medical situations, abortion rights, domestic happy family

“How long is it gonna take?” Daisuke asked, as he was worried but also excited. Excited for Anya to feel better. Worried for well….Not like he’s had the best reactions to medical situations. Example A being Curly in the wheelchair next to him.

Curly was doing so much better now that he was actually on the planet again. The doctors were still jaw dropped that Anya was able to keep him alive with so little. Was not only a testimony to how she refused for him to die, but him refusing to leave his crew behind as well. It’s still a long journey ahead, but he was in clean bandages and clothes at least. Was even able to talk again. Sorta. Rather raspy but he will get there.

Jeez where to start on how you all got here to begin with.

“She’s going to be fine. Abortion is way less invasive than you think. It really depends on how far along, but luckily she isn’t too far for it to be to extreme. Not sure what type she went for, but whatever she chose she chooses. Just grateful we were able to return home before she reached to far along.” You would admit, as you would check up on Curly’s IV bag for him. Taking over Anya’s roll until she could return.

“Ya know….My wife had an abortion.” Swansea said, and it made all of you look over to him in pure surprise.

“What’s the funny look for? Ya think I’m a freak that would refuse my wife that? She needed it! The kid just….It ain’t my place, but the kid just wasn’t gonna survive. Either she carried it to term and die with em, or she just skips the heart ache. Not like it was her fault. We got two healthy girls at the end of the day. We got em because she got rid of that fucked up one.” He explained, as Daisuke seemed wide eyed in respect.

Explains why he snapped more clearly.

Anya had explained to Swansea what had happened, and before you pre Daisuke knew it Jimmy’s head was sliced off and rolling across the kitchen floor. Poor Suke threw up all over you from the sight, and shock. Then threw up again when he learned why he did such a thing. Lots of puking and crying. Fitting.

“Glad that damn company is dead. Whose wise idea was it to have a single woman surrounded by men. No offense you two-“ Curly would wheeze, before you would help him take his medication. Sure is easier to take pills when you actually give him water and take it slow. No choking or crying.

“Thats a can of worms I don’t want us to talk about.” Swansea would scoff. As a father to two girls he had a lot of things to say. Daisuke would be willing to listen, sure, but honestly you all had enough emotional fatigue to last multiple life times.

Thank god Curly was so high up on the food chain at the company. They knew they would get into more hot water if their, once, top captain suddenly vanished. Wouldn’t make their bankruptcy any smoother. For once they did the right thing and sent Simeon to save them.

Funny. A capitalist corporate organization took responsibility for their actions. For the right reasons? No. But they still took it. Strange. Isn’t it?

“Is she done yet?” Daisuke would whine, as you laughed at his childish nature. As if waiting on a sister to get out of the dentists office. You found it rather endearing honestly. That despite it all he was still having a heart full of love and excitement.

“Go play on your toy.” Swansea would grumble, as Suke whined. Regardless he would pull out his game boy. A nice excuse to play video games with out any guilt on wasting his time. Enjoying life shouldn’t be a burden.

“Need anything, Curly?” You would ask him, since you planned on going to the bathroom. Yeah Swansea and Daisuke could handle him, but you still wanted to be polite. Maybe you could grab him something from the vending machines. Maybe a soda. Some sugar in his system would do him good. Anya said that sugary bubble water of some kind, like sprite, can help quite a lot with indigestion.

“I should be fine. Thank you for asking though. Sorry you have to…” He would admit, as he looked himself over. His missing limbs now properly covered up with fabric to keep them clean, and allow him some kind of independence. The fabric on the stumps were padded. With enough practice and effort he would certainly be able to roll himself around.

Then again this was a world of space travel. He was going to get cyborged eventually, but you need to be healed first before such an intense operation. Can’t rush something like this.

“Hey. I do it because I can. Not because I have to. You are our captain. Let me be a good solider.” You teased him, and even in his broken face you could see a smile.

Swansea have you a head nod to indicate he would ‘take care of the boys’ and you were off to use the restroom.

Once done with that you would grab a soda from the vending machine for Curly, a bag of candy for Daisuke, and some pretzels for Swansea. As you were making your way back a nurse would motion you over.

“Miss Anya was asking for you. She has finished her operation, and wanted you to see her.”

You were surprised at that. You expected Curly to be her first guest. Did something go wrong? Oh you couldn’t help but freak out.

You followed after the nurse quickly, and all you were shown was Anya resting in her hospital bed. Tired, but relieved. Mostly. You saw that familiar stress in her eyes. That same stress she had when asking you if she made the right choice in asking Jimmy for help with medicating Curly.

That worry of if I did the right thing.

The nurse would leave you to alone, and you would quickly set the snacks aside. Now you were sitting next to her, in a chair, and holding her hand. Ready to be the shoulder she needed.

“Hey there Doc. How you doing?” You asked her, as you carefully stroked the back of her hand. Made sure to be mindful of all the tubes and wires.

“Well….It went far smoother than I expected. It was just so quick. They didn’t even need to put me under. The IV is more so for the issues I already had because of being stranded on the ship for so long. It was just so quick. So painless. Was just like pulling a thorn out of an arm. It was….Simple.” She would try and explain to you. Needing to make sure to stop herself before using doctor jargon.

“Too easy?” You puzzled.

“Yes. It was just….I expected pain. Pain and anxiety and horror. Suppose even a nurse can come to learn a thing or two…..”

She was hiding something, and you had an educated guess on what.

“You expected Jimmy to break down the door. Weren’t you?”

There was silence, but it told you everything.

“Scoot over. Move it sister-“ You were now crawling into the medical bed with her, moving the wires around, and soon snuggled into her side. Hugging her close, and especially with your arm over her stomach.

“You did the right thing. It’s your body at the end of it all. You took responsibility of taking care of yourself. You wouldn’t have been able to live a proper life. You went to med school. You don’t need me to tell you the horrors of pregnancy and birth. That alone is terrifying. But also you simply not wanting to be pregnant is enough. Ain’t no Jimmy’s gonna storm in and say otherwise.” You huffed, as she smiled. Her head leaning into yours.

“Yeah….No more Jimmy’s. Pretty sure Swansea will make sure of that.” She did her best to joke, and you were proud of her for it. This whole ordeal was hell. Hell none of you will ever truly walk away from. But that’s ok. You all had each other to lean on.

“I think I’m ready for everyone now.” Anya would whisper, as you gave her hand a squeeze. You were so proud of her. This was all such a nightmare, but she’s taking it in stride.

“Hell yeah.” You agreed, before climbing out of the bed. You made sure to grab the snacks, and exited the hospital room.

“Come on guys-! Anya is waiting on you-!” You shameless shouted outside of the room. She couldn’t help her face palm. Daisuke sure was an influence on you.

“I wanna push Curly!”

“Like hell you are-!”

They would bicker away, before Curly said ‘fuck it’ and did his best to roll himself over. He sure was a stubborn one. Made it half way before you figured that was enough work out for one person.

“Pretty far! Getting better at it-!” You encouraged, as the two men realized how far Curly rolled off on before finally following you two into Anya’s room.

“HAPPY NO BIRTH-DAY!” Daisuke would cheer, as Anya shook her head at such a joke.

“God dammit kid-“ Swansea side, before he came over to Anya. Giving her head a kiss. Just comforting her much like a father would.

“How many of us need to be in medical beds?” Curly would give a raspy snort, as Anya reached her hand out. He would lean his head over, and she would give it a stroke. As if all his hair never burned off. A means of holding his hand, in a way, compared to just grasping a limb.

She didn’t need children.

She had all of you.

What else could a woman want?

Since you were willing to read through this story to the end, and get a nice in depth look on the importance of such why not donate to some organizations? : D

Planned Parenthood

Nation Network For Abortion Funds

National Abortion Federation

The Bridge Alliance

The Satanic Temple

ActBlue

No worry on donating. Spreading awareness and signing petitions still help! The more people learn and understand the better! Could also like reblog with other organizations or petitions!

Abortion is healthcare!

[sound-of-scoups]

Moth To A Flame | JJK & KMG | Chapter one

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Female!Reader x Kim Mingyu  Genre|tags: Idol!au, series, established relationship, infidelity, love triangle, lots of angst, lots of drama, smut, maybe fluff.  Word count: 9.2k+ Rating: Explicit adult content (MINORS DNI). Chapter warnings: A LOT of angst and tension, explicit language, sexual innuendos, kissing. Lemme know if there's more. A/N: I’m so happy it’s finally out!!! Just a few notes: I don't want to specify an exact date, but the events take place mostly during the second half of 2022, during the PROOF and Face the Sun/SECTOR 17 eras. Also, I'm not exactly sure how many chapters this fic will have, but possibly around 10 to 15 (if i can help it). That’s it! Enjoy the reading and let me know what you think!! Tags: @cherrylovescheol, @lovingkoalaface, @whoa-jo, @marihoneywk

Summary: Four years ago, you crossed paths with a charming member of the K-pop group Seventeen during their tour stop in Osaka. The two of you shared three intense, unforgettable days before life took you in different directions. It was painful for both of you, but you knew you couldn’t take things any further and had to say goodbye. Now, back in Seoul for good, you’re in a new relationship with another idol: Jeon Jungkook—whose charm and stability make him everything you thought you wanted. You are very much in love with him, and as your connection deepens, it feels like your life is finally falling into place. That is, until you meet one of your boyfriend’s best friends and are stunned to discover it’s the same man you fell for in Osaka all those years ago. As buried emotions resurface and secrets begin to unravel, you find yourself torn between these two men, caught in a whirlwind of love and conflict, testing the boundaries of loyalty and the choices that could change everything. 

Next →

Your phone buzzed on the dresser as you stood in front of the mirror, adjusting the strap of your dress for what felt like the hundredth time tonight. You knew it was a message from Jungkook, probably wondering where you were since it was half past nine and you were already late. 

Nice way to make a good first impression, you thought to yourself, staring back at your reflection in the mirror, a mix of excitement and nerves creeping in your chest. 

Jungkook had chosen the dress himself. It was simple yet elegant, a mid red velvet dress—his favorite color on you—with a slight sheen and floral embossed details. The dress has a V-neckline and it’s fitted to the body, creating an elegant and sophisticated fit, perfect for the night. Over the dress, you chose to threw a black leather jacket, which added a cool touch to the look, contrasting with the delicacy of the dress and looking very chic overall. 

You took a step back, after applying a final coat of the deep red shade lipstick, smoothing the fabric of the dress one last time as you studied your reflection in the mirror once more.

If you were being honest with yourself, you had spent more time getting ready than usual, wanting everything to be perfect. 

Tonight marks six months since you and Jungkook started dating, a milestone you both had eagerly awaited. From the moment you met while temporarily working for HYBE as a stylist for BTS’s PTD on Stage first show in Seoul, back in october, you knew it was meant to be. When he started shamelessly flirting while you tried to adjust his clothes, you knew you were a goner. And in the 182 days since he kissed you at 2 a.m. by the Han River, the two of you have been through so much together.

You’ve already done almost everything and anything, absolutely ignoring when everyone said not to rush into things, since you’re both so young. Plans for the far future, matching tattoos, and considering how much time you spent at his place, basically living together. You can name it and find out what you've already done. HYBE already knew about your relationship, and you spent ninety percent of your time together, except when you were both working. He already knew your family and closest friends, and you also knew his mom, dad and brother, his members and most of his friends from school and the industry. 

Well, all except the infamous 97 line. Which basically was your task for tonight. 

You had never met them before, or at least not all of them. However, tonight that would change, as Jungkook had arranged a dinner and drinks to introduce you to them. And from the moment everything was agreed upon, the thought of making a good impression had your stomach in knots. Jungkook was everything to you, and all you wanted was to be perfect for him—to be the woman who would fit seamlessly into his world. 

You really did love him. It was a thought that both comforted and anchored you all day, keeping you steady despite the nervous feeling creeping in your stomach as you finished getting ready. During the time you’ve been together, you've fallen hard for Jungkook, his kindness, his humor, the way he made you feel safe and cherished. He became your world. He’s kind and thoughtful manners, the way he treated you like you were the most important person in his life.

Jungkook had been nothing short of amazing and you loved him deeply. 

But that was not the only thing on your mind tonight. There was something else, something you hadn’t been able to push away no matter how hard you tried. Or rather, someone.

Of course you knew the guys who were part of 97 line—you didn’t live under a rock. For Christ’s sake, you also work for the entertainment industry; it’s basically part of your job to know who they are. And even if they weren’t who they are, Jungkook never stops talking about him specifically. He’s already shown you dozens of photos of the two of them and their adventures during Seoul’s nights.

It had been months since you realized that Mingyu from Osaka was also Jungkook’s Mingyu. 

The worst part, however, was that you hadn’t had the heart to tell him. You knew how angry he would be, how fiercely he loved you, and how much he disliked the idea of sharing anything, especially you; what was his was his only. So, yes, you were terrified of what would happen if he found out. You simply couldn’t bear the thought of losing him, not when you loved him so much, and not when what you had together was the best thing that had happened to you since you set foot in Seoul again. 

That’s the only reason you had kept it to yourself this entire time, knowing this moment would come eventually and you would have no way to escape it, only hoping you could get through the night without Mingyu causing any trouble. You knew he was a discreet guy, and it wasn’t like you were going to see each other every single day anyway from now on.  

Your phone buzzed on the dresser one more time, pulling you out of your thoughts. As you have guessed before, it was another text from Jungkook. 

You smiled, the warmth of his words soothing your nerves, if only a little. Jungkook was the reason you were doing this, the reason you face tonight despite the anxiety gnawing at you. And tonight was about him, and you were determined to make it nice and easy. 

So you took a deep breath, trying to steady your nerves as you muttered to yourself, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. “It's just one night.” 

Grabbing your purse, you took one last look in the mirror, and headed out the door. Even though it's not that far from your house, the cab ride to the restaurant felt shorter than you expected, your anticipation growing with each passing minute. 

Earlier in the day, Jungkook had insisted on picking you up, but you refused. You ended up working late—your temporary job as an editorial stylist for Elle Magazine had taken more of your time than expected—and you didn’t want to make him late as well. So, you told him you’d take a taxi and assured him it would be fine. But even so, you could tell he wasn’t completely convinced. He'd texted you several times throughout the evening, double-checking that you were okay and reminding you to let him know once you were on your way.

When you arrived, you spotted Jungkook immediately, staging outside the entrance with a wide grin on his face. He looked effortlessly handsome in his dark gray Calvin Klein shirt and dark jeans, his dark hair tousled in that way you loved.

As soon as he sees you getting out of the cab, his entire face lights up. 

“Hey, gorgeous,” he greeted you, bunny smile on full display as he pulled you into his arms to a warm hug, nose immediately dragging against the column of your neck, “I missed you.”

“Hi, handsome,” you replied, a teasing smile on your lips, nerves easing slightly with his touch as you melted completely into his embrace. “It's only been eight hours, babe.”

He shrugs. "What can I say? I don’t think I can last much longer without you, babe." Taking his face from the crook of your neck, Jungkook smiles, leaning down to kiss you softly. You sunk into the kiss, his familiar warmth making you feel safe and more at ease. “Happy six months.” 

“Happy six months, baby,” you replied between kisses.

When you finally pulled away, he kept you close, both hands on each side of your hips, an amused smirk pulling up at the corner of his lips. “You look incredible. Can’t wait to take this dress off of you.”

Your arms rested on his shoulders, circling his neck. “Mhmm… you don’t look so bad yourself.” He smelled really nice too, a wood and ocean scent that was distinctly his. “I have a surprise for you underneath this.”

"Don’t do this to me, doll,” he groaned in complaint, his voice almost sounding like a whimper. “I’d ditch those guys for you in a second.”

His lips met your jaw, trailing a path down to your neck. “And I wouldn't complain.”

You heard someone clear their throat, noticing a lady on the sidewalk staring at you with an unfriendly expression. You giggled, finally pulling away but staying close enough for him to drape his arm around your waist.

“I’m so glad you’re here. I can’t wait for you to meet them,” he sounded way too excited, his doe eyes sparkling with joy. “Ready?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” you said with a nervous laugh, trying to shake off the lingering jitters.

“They’re going to adore you, I promise,” he said, squeezing your waist reassuringly. 

Jungkook led you into the restaurant, his hand gently resting on the small of your back. The place was cozy and intimate, with soft lighting casting a warm glow over the tables—the exact kind of spot you’d expect idols to gather for this kind of get-together. You could hear the hum of conversation and the clinking of glasses as you made your way to the back of the room toward a large table where a group of eight guys were already seated and chatting animatedly. 

As you weaved through the maze of tables, your nerves began creeping back in, your heart pounding in your chest as you approached the table. You forced yourself to focus on Jungkook, on the fact that he was here with you, and that tonight was more about him than anything else. But as your eyes scanned the faces at the table, you couldn't help but search for the one you were dreading most.

“They’re just over here,” Jungkook said, bringing you out of your thoughts as you approached the group. 

And then you saw him.

Heart skipping a beat and breath caught in your throat as your eyes landed on the man sitting at the far end of the table, his eyes downcast as he filled his glass with a cabernet liquid. 

The man you never expected to see again in your life.

Kim Mingyu. 

The sight of him was like a punch to the gut, the air in the room suddenly feeling too thick, too heavy. The world around you blurred, your vision narrowing to just him—the man who had occupied your thoughts for so long after Osaka four years ago, the one you had tried and failed to forget.

It felt like slow motion as all eyes turned to you, and Mingyu slowly looked up from his drink, following suit with the rest of the guys.

Your breath caught in your throat as your eyes locked with his. A flicker of recognition crossed his gaze, his eyes widening slightly before he quickly masked his surprise with a neutral expression. Even though you knew he would be there, nothing could have prepared you for the rush of emotions that surged the moment your eyes met.

It was as if the air had been sucked out of the room, leaving you breathless and frozen in place. The world seemed to tilt on its axis, the noise of the restaurant fading into the background, and all you could hear was the rapid beating of your heart.

Mingyu held your gaze, a slow, knowing smile curving his lips. In that moment, a jolt of electricity shot through your body—a mix of fear, guilt, and something else, something you didn’t want to name.

“Everyone,” Jungkook’s voice cut through the haze in your mind, pulling you back to the present. “This is Y/N, the amazing woman I’ve been telling you all about, and the love of my life.”

Jungkook’s tone was joyful and proud as he kissed your cheek. You tore your eyes away from Mingyu, forcing a smile and trying to steady your breathing. Meeting the gazes of the guys around the table, you spoke, your voice steadier than you felt. “Hi, it’s so nice to finally meet you all.”

“Babe, this is Yugyeom, Bambam, Chan, Eunwoo, Jaehyun, Seokmin, Minghao… and Mingyu,” Jungkook introduced, oblivious to the tension simmering beneath the surface.

Mingyu stood up almost immediately, one of his long legs hitting the edge of the table, causing the silverware to rattle. He offered you a polite smile, but you noticed the tightness in his jaw, the way his eyes avoided yours as he reached out to shake your hand across the table.

“It’s nice to finally meet you, Y/N,” he said, his voice calm and measured, as though nothing was out of the ordinary, giving nothing away.

Your hand trembled slightly as you shook his, the contact sending a jolt of electricity through your body that you desperately tried to ignore. Heart racing, you managed to reply, your voice barely above a whisper as you forced a smile, “You too, Mingyu.”

Clenching your teeth, you fought against the shiver that coursed through your body, your nipples hardening despite your will. Memories flooded back in flashes, like a kaleidoscope of moments—the way his fingers felt inside you, on you, touching and caressing, guiding you to most the earth-shattering nights of your life.

Your hands lingered together for just a moment, you mind racing as you tried to gauge his reaction. Was he going to say something? Did he really remember you?

The rest of the introductions faded into a blur. As everyone took their seats, you found yourself sitting directly across from Mingyu, the small proximity only heightened your awareness of him. You could feel his gaze on you, even though he was careful not to let it linger too long. 

Jungkook sat beside you, his hand resting comfortably on your thigh under the table—a gesture that usually made you feel secure. But tonight, it felt like a reminder of the terrible situation you had suddenly found yourself in. 

You now hated yourself for not saying something to Jungkook before tonight. 

Of course, you hadn’t known Jungkook when Mingyu came into your life, but now that you knew both of them, shouldn't you have said something? 

And what would you even say? 

That his best friend had once stirred feelings in you so intense that they haunted you? That you spent years trying to erase the memory of his touch? That all those years ago, it was as if Mingyu hadn’t just claimed your body but your soul? 

A wave of nausea hit you suddenly, and you swallowed hard, trying to push it down.

As the conversation flowed around, you tried to focus on the others, to be present in the moment. You had to keep yourself occupied, or your sanity would begin to fray. And the other boys were more than happy to help you with that. They were very kind, funny and welcoming, and despite your tension, you found yourself slowly warming up to them. 

Jaehyun was charming and amusing; Seokmin was full of energy, making you feel more at ease with his laid-back attitude; Eunwoo was sweet but a little shy; Chan was outgoing and warm-hearted; Yugyeom was bubbly, relentlessly teasing Jungkook throughout dinner, while Bambam was clearly the life of the group—loud, hilarious, and making you laugh with his playful banter and jokes, easing some of the tension you’d been carrying since you arrived. Minghao, on the other hand, was more subdued but quick-witted, throwing in sarcastic comments and showing a genuine interest in you.

They all seemed genuinely happy to meet you, and you found yourself laughing at their stories, trying to relax.

“So, what do you do for a living?” Bambam asked. “We gotta know if you’re doing something cooler than us.” 

You chuckled softly. “Right now I'm between jobs. I mainly work as a tour stylist, but recently I’ve started getting into some editorial work too, for Elle Magazine.” 

"Oh, so you know Chaeyoung?" Eunwoo asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Chaeyoung?" you echoed, unsure.

"Rosé, babe," Jungkook leaned in and whispered.

"Oh, right! Yeah, I was responsible for her outfits in the Elle June issue. We spent the whole day together—she’s really sweet." 

"She's part of our group too," Jungkook explained with a grin, "but you'll meet the girls another day."

"They're a separate event," Jaehyun joked and you laughed. 

“What do you like more? Touring or editorial?” Yugyeom asked, looking genuinely interested.

“Touring, definitely,” you replied, your face lighting up as you spoke about your job. "It’s incredible, and I get to do the other thing I love most—traveling."

“Wow,” Seokmin outed, sounding genuinely impressed. “What do you do when artists go on tour?”

“The months prior to a tour I coordinate the designers and do the talks with brands for custom pieces or partnerships," you began to explain. “During the tour, I oversee the team of dresses who help with costume changes and ensure costumes are functional for performances.”

“She’s so much cooler than you, Jungkook-ah.” Bambam said, pointing at Jungkook, who just shrugged.

“I can't argue with that.” 

“What artists have you worked with?” Chan piped in, eyes gleaming with amusement.

“Mostly westerners. Little Mix, Dua Lipa, Ariana Gran—”

“So how did you two meet?” The question came up suddenly from the far end of the table, interrupting what you were saying and making your breath catch.

You shifted your gaze toward Mingyu, who leaned across the table with his eyebrows arched, head resting in the palm of his hand. Curiosity—and something more—sparkled in his eyes. Until that moment, he had been the picture of composure, engaging in conversation easily, his voice smooth and confident as he chatted with Jungkook and the other guys, but never with you.

Right now, however, you could see the tension in his jaw and the way the muscles in his forearm flexed, fingers tightened around his wine glass as he said, “Jungkook’s been pretty quiet about it, keeping us all in suspense.”

You hesitated for a moment, his tone sharp and unsettling, the bluntness of his question throwing you off balance. It was exactly the conversation you'd been avoiding, knowing it could lead to Mingyu prying into things you weren’t ready to share in his presence. 

You glanced at Jungkook, who smiled encouragingly and gave your thigh a reassuring squeeze under the table.

“Well, we actually met when I was working temporarily with BTS during the PTD on Stage shows here in the city," you said, keeping your voice steady, though inside you were bracing yourself. You turned your attention to your boyfriend’s face, forcing yourself not to let Mingyu's presence intimidate you, though it was becoming harder with every passing second. "It was supposed to be just for those shows, but I ended up staying with them until PTD in Las Vegas.”

“HYBE really loved her work, but I think I loved it more than anyone,” Jungkook said with a big smile, his hand gently caressing the inside of your thigh. His eyes met yours, and you exchanged a warm smile. “We got to talk one night after one of the concerts in LA, and…”

“It just felt right,” you concluded, smiling at the man on your left.

“Wow,” Yugyeom said with a grin, his eyes sparkling with amusement. You couldn’t help but notice how similar his smile was to Jungkook’s—very bunny-like. “That sounds like something out of a drama.”

“Doesn’t it?” Jungkook said rhetorically, his eyes never leaving your face. 

You laughed softly, feeling the warmth in his gaze. “I guess it does. Life has a funny way of writing its own scripts.”

Tonight was the greatest proof of that, you thought, as Mingyu's gaze seared into the left side of your face. 

You stole a glance in his direction, catching him watching you closely. His expression was unreadable, but the tense set of his jaw gave you all the confirmation you needed—his own question had backfired, and this conversation was clearly affecting him, and not in the "I’m-happy-for-my-best-friend" kind of way. 

Then he abruptly turned his attention away when Minghao leaned in to whisper something in his ear.

"She’s got a point," Jungkook said, leaning back in his chair with a smirk as he pointed at Eunwoo. "You’ve probably started enough dramas to know how this plays out, huh?"

The man chuckled. "To be honest, it does sound like fate.”

Jungkook glanced at you with a smile that made your heart flutter even more. But before you could respond to Eunwoo, Mingyu’s voice cut in, accompanied by a wry smirk. “Real cinematic. Almost too good to be true, right?”

“It really was kind of perfect,” Jungkook said, smiling down at you again and completely oblivious to his friend's ironic tone."Fate or not, I’m just glad it happened."

The boys instantly started imitating Jungkook’s voice, making obnoxious noises and exaggerated smooching sounds. You forced a smile, trying to ignore the way Mingyu’s words lingered above you, heavy with unspoken meaning.

His eyes remained fixed on you, but he leaned back in his chair, feigning casual interest. “I see. Well, it’s surprising that you didn’t run into us at the concert here in Seoul, too, since we were there. I guess fate decided to keep things interesting.”

Once again, his words were tinged with irony, and though he didn’t directly address it, the implication was clear as the day for you. Your heart raced as you fought to maintain your composure. 

“Yeah, I guess.” 

Just then, Jaehyun flashed you a warm smile and asked, “So, Y/N, are you from around here?” 

You shook your head. “No, actually. I’m originally from Gwangju, but I lived in the UK for almost my entire life before deciding to move back here.”

“Really?” Jaehyun said, clearly intrigued. “What brought you back?”

“Just felt like the right time,” you replied, trying to sound nonchalant. “Sometimes you need a change of pace, you know?”

Jaehyun nodded thoughtfully. “I get that. It’s nice to have a fresh start every now and then.”

"How many countries have you visited while working?” Yugyeom asked, taking your focus off Jaehyun. “Must be nice traveling to so many places." 

"Oh, it is. There are so many places that I couldn't name them all at once. The last time I was in Brazil with–”

“Have you ever been to Osaka, Y/N?” Sensing an opening, Mingyu threw the question at you, his eyebrows raised, your name rolling out of his tongue slowly. His smirk didn’t waver as he leaned forward slightly, eyes gleaming with the kind of knowledge only the two of you shared. “Osaka is really nice.”

You winced at the chill in his words, desperately searching his eyes for the tenderness that once resided in those brown depths. But all you found were dark, empty eyes that swiftly brought back memories of your time together.

Suddenly, your heart skipped a beat, the memory of those three days in Osaka flashing through your mind like a neon sign in the dark. He didn’t mention it—he wouldn’t—but the way he phrased the question made it clear what was hovering between the two of you. You didn’t know what game Mingyu wanted to play tonight, but it was suddenly driving you crazy. 

Everyone at the table turned their eyes to him, eyebrows furrowed in confusion, since he brought up Osaka out of nowhere. 

It was Bambam who voiced the question. “Osaka? She just said she was in Brazil, and you're stuck in Osaka?” he laughed. “You’ve been to Osaka hundreds of times, bro. Let’s hear about Brazil, please.”

Throughout the rest of the dinner, conversation and laughter filled the air. You tried your best to focus, to be present and engaged, but it didn’t matter how hard you tried, it was difficult to concentrate. Your mind kept drifting back to Mingyu, the tension between you palpable, even though neither of you acknowledged it. The others made you feel at ease, but Mingyu’s presence cast a shadow over your excitement.

And as if his mere presence wasn’t enough to overwhelm you, his smooth gestures and deep, husky laughter stirred memories you were desperately trying to forget.

You couldn’t shake the feeling of his eyes burning into you, now and then. Every so often, you would catch Mingyu looking at you, his gaze lingering just a little too long before he looked away. And every time your eyes met across the table, it sent a jolt through your system; your heart skipped a beat again and again, your mind a whirlwind of emotions, a jumbled mess of past and present. You couldn’t believe this was happening—of all the people in the world, Mingyu had to be Jungkook’s best friend.

It was so obvious that you weren’t the only one affected by this. You could see the tension in Mingyu’s shoulders, the way he kept his responses short, his attention drifting elsewhere. He was as shaken by this unexpected reunion as you were, and knowing that only made you feel more unsettled.

You loved Jungkook so much, you reminded yourself over and over. You were with him now, and that was all that mattered.

“Jungkook’s been so happy since you two got together,” Eunwoo leaned in closer, lowering his voice beneath the hum of conversation. His warm gaze focused on you as he whispered, grounding you again. “It’s really nice to see.”

A lump rose in your throat, the warmth of Eunwoo’s words a sharp contrast to the cold tension swirling inside you. Forcing a smile, you replied, “He makes me really happy too. The happiest, actually.”

It was true—you knew that. But right now, it felt like you were trying to convince yourself more than reaffirm it, and you hated yourself for it.

As the night went on, the tension in your chest never eased. It felt like guilt was eating you alive. Maybe you were overreacting—after all, it wasn’t like you had any feelings for Mingyu anyway. Maybe you should have told Jungkook from the start. Maybe he wouldn’t have reacted the way you feared, and everything would have been fine. The two of you would have laughed at the coincidence, and life would have gone on.

Maybe, maybe, maybe. 

But now it was too late, you thought to yourself—you were already here. You and Mingyu had already spent most of the night pretending you didn’t know each other, as if nothing extraordinary had happened four years ago. There was no way Jungkook wouldn’t find the situation strange.

Did that make you a cheater? You had wrestled with the question through the night, guilt gnawing at you, even if there was no betrayal in the technical sense. 

This wasn’t the kind of thing you could confess without destroying everything. It wasn’t something you could admit even to yourself without breaking. But the memory clung to you, no matter how hard you tried to bury it. And the weight of it was unbearable now, sitting in a room with both of them, feeling like you were betraying Jungkook just by being reminded of a past you could never speak of. 

Not with him, anyway. 

Sitting among your boyfriend's friends in silence, you felt like the worst person in the world. Although the rest of dinner flowed with lighthearted conversation, your heart raced every time Jungkook brought up something about your relationship that could give Mingyu space for interrogation.

And that continued until the conversation suddenly shifted.

“So, Mingyu, you still haven’t spilled the details about what went down between you and Sanghee," Yugyeom said, turning all eyes toward his friend. “Spill, already.” 

"Who’s Sanghee?" Bambam mumbled through a mouthful of rice.

“She’s that friend I set him up with on a blind date about three weeks ago," Yugyeom explained and all of a sudden, it seemed like the whole table had remembered a very important topic to be discussed: Mingyu’s love life. “She’s a dancer for YG.”

You took a long sip of your wine, trying to drown the strange knot tightening in your stomach. A confusing mix of warmth and bittersweet unease creeping through your veins, leaving you momentarily disoriented. 

Jealousy? Seriously? 

The thought hit you like a wave, catching you off guard. You had no reason to feel this way, but the unsettling twinge in your chest was undeniable. You shook your head, trying to push the feeling aside. You didn’t even know him anymore. It wasn’t fair to you or him to be feeling this way. But most of all, it wasn’t fair to Jungkook. Yet the thought of Mingyu being with someone else had every muscle in your body tensing, rejecting the idea completely in a crazy possessive way. 

"Wait, you're dating again?" Jungkook asked, genuinely surprised and you lowered your gaze to your plate, trying to tune out the conversation, even though a part of you wondered what he meant with again. "I had no idea, man. That's good for you!"

Mingyu’s tone was sharp, clearly meant as a jab, as he replied to your boyfriend. "Well, of course you wouldn't know. We’ve barely seen you these past six months."

"But for a good reason, so you're off the hook," Seokmin said with a wink in your and Jungkook’s direction, quickly easing the tension. "Anyway, it's awesome that Mingyu's getting back into dating. Four years is a long time."

You froze, a chill running through you. That couldn't be right. You must've misheard.

Slowly, you lifted your head, just in time to catch Minghao wrapping an arm around Mingyu, as if offering quiet support. "He had to move on eventually, you know."

"Seriously, dude," Eunwoo chimed in, shaking his head. "I’m starting to think that girl you met in Osaka is a figment of your imagination. No way you’d stay hung up for four years over someone you only spent three days with."

Mingyu’s face flushed, and it was obvious he knew you were staring—he avoided your gaze, and for the first time tonight, he was looking everywhere but at you. Still, you couldn’t help but watch him from beneath your lowered lashes, struggling to make sense of your feelings right now.

To your surprise, he glanced your way for just a second before turning his attention back to the guys. 

"Could you all shut up for a moment?" His gaze landed on Jungkook, then Yugyeom. "And no, I'm not dating again. Sanghee was a little annoying, to be honest. She only wanted to talk about things that didn't interest me”

Yugyeom let out an exasperated sigh, throwing his head back. "You’re way too damn picky, man. Seriously, just choose someone and date them already!"

"I'm not picky, I just know what I want." He leaned back in his chair with a casual shrug and turned his gaze to you. You quickly looked away, but he pressed on. "I've already said it: I'm looking for someone I can genuinely connect with. Someone kind-hearted and easy-going."

Jaehyun rolled his eyes. "Yeah, like the girl from Osaka."

Mingyu shrugged. "Exactly like her."

You swallowed hard, leaning your head against your boyfriend's shoulder, using him as support to try to erase the thoughts racing through your mind at full speed. 

What the fuck was going on and why was he saying all these things?

"Mingyu met a girl in Osaka, like, five years ago? And he's never shut up about her since," Jungkook whispered, trying to include you in their conversation. "He hardly ever dates anyone because of her, so it’s always a reason to celebrate."

You forced a smile, bringing the glass to your lips as you replied, "She seems like a special girl." 

Jungkook smiled softly at you, leaning down to kiss your forehead. "I bet she is.

The conversation went on and then shifted, turning to the new drama Eunwoo was preparing to film over the summer. When dessert was served, you excused yourself to the bathroom, needing a moment to collect your thoughts and breathe. You slipped quietly out of your chair, walking down the dimly lit hallway outside the restroom, your heart still racing as you closed the door behind you. 

You immediately leaned against the sink, gripping its edge tightly as you stared at your reflection, your pulse thrumming in your ears as you cursed loudly. “Fuck.”

What the hell was going on? Why was Mingyu trying to confuse you with all these things, after everything that happened the morning he left Osaka? What did he stand to gain from this? He was the one who set the boundary, who made it clear that the past needed to stay buried. So why now, of all times, was he stirring it all back up? None of it made sense, and the more you tried to piece it together, the more it felt like the ground was shifting beneath your feet.

You loved Jungkook. You knew that. You were in love with him, with the life you had begun to build together. The perfect bubble you had created around yourselves, one that no one seemed able to burst. You’d spent six months like this—entwined in each other as if your very lives depended on it—and even now, you were still eager to celebrate this milestone by yourselfs the moment you step out of here.

Yet, seeing Mingyu tonight took a toll on you. 

There had always been something about him, something intangible that tugged at your soul in ways you could never fully explain. Now, no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t quite remember what it was. It was maddening; the way the memory of him from four years ago slipped through your fingers all night, yet still sent your mind spinning uncontrollably. Deep down, you knew it was the same force that had once made your heart surrender so easily, the same pull that left you defenseless all those years ago.

You splashed water on your face, hoping to wash away your thoughts, trying desperately to clear your mind and come to your senses. But no matter how cold the water was, the anxious feelings remained, stubborn and unshakable.

Drying your face with a towel, you tossed it into the basket and took a deep breath. Closing your eyes for a moment, you tried to pull yourself together before heading back out there to face the rest of the evening with nothing but a big, stupid smile on your face, doing what you seemed so good at: pretending.

You stayed in the bathroom a few more minutes, pressing your palms to your cheeks to cool the flush that had risen as you steadied your breathing. You needed to get back to Jungkook as soon as possible—back to the reality you had chosen, back to celebrating your six-month anniversary together with his friends.

But as soon as you rounded the corner, you almost collided with a solid figure.

“Whoa!” you exclaimed, stumbling back slightly before steadying yourself. “I’m sorry, I—” 

You stopped talking immediately when you looked up and met the one person you least wanted to see right now. Panic coursed through you, and you instinctively dodged, forcing yourself to start walking again without saying a word. 

But you were quickly halted when a hand landed on your forearm. The sudden touch sent a shiver down your spine, a mix of surprise and an unwanted spark of familiarity that you couldn't shake off. It was the faintest brush against your arm, but the sensation lingered, sending your pulse into a wild rhythm. 

How could such a small touch feel so electric? 

You quickly pulled your arm away, but didn’t take a step, frozen in place with him just behind you.

“Y/N,” Mingyu whispered, his voice husky in urgency. “Can we talk?”

Your heart sank. The last thing you wanted was to be cornered right now, especially after everything that had been said at the table just a couple of minutes ago.

Slowly, you turned to face him, heart racing as a flood of emotions threatened to overwhelm you just by a single touch. In that moment, all the thoughts you had tried to suppress tonight came rushing back, and you found yourself caught between the instinct to flee and the magnetic pull of his presence. 

“I… I really can’t,” you replied, voice firm but slightly wavering.

“Please,” he said, stepping closer, the intensity of his gaze making it hard for you to breathe. “I just need a moment. Just to talk.”

You shook your head no, mind fighting with all the reasons why this was a terrible idea. “Mingyu, it’s not a good time. I’m with Jungkook, and—”

“I know you’re with him,” he interrupted, his voice rising slightly. “But that’s not what this is about. It’s about us.”

“What happened is in the past,” you stated, feeling a rush of frustration. “This won't change just because we ran into each other.”

His expression softened, a mixture of regret and longing. “It’s not that simple, and you know it. We…”

He stopped talking for a moment and for a second, just stood there, his gaze fixed on your face with intensity. He didn’t say anything, but the way he looked at you it was as if he hadn’t really seen you until this moment. His eyes roamed over your face, down to the way the red dress clung to your body, and back up again, like he was memorizing every inch of you, like you was something he couldn’t quite believe was real. 

Your pulse thumped loudly in your ears. The proximity between you was unbearable. He was too close, his scent too familiar, the memories flooding back with every breath taken as if the ones that haunted you through this night weren't enough. 

It had been four years, but suddenly it felt like it had all happened yesterday.

Mingyu stepped closer, so close now that you could feel the heat radiating from his body. Your breath caught in your throat, your pulse thudding wildly as his eyes met yours once again. There was something in his gaze, something raw and unspoken, that made the air between you hum with electricity. He was looking at you like he’d been waiting all night just to get this close, like being in the same room hadn’t been enough until now.

“You…” Mingyu’s voice was rough, almost strained, his eyes never leaving yours. “You look… different.”

“Mingyu…” you started, but your voice trailed off, unsure of what to say.

You knew what he meant. It wasn’t about the dress or the fact that your hair had grown long since the last time you had seen each other. He meant something deeper, something you both felt but neither could acknowledge. As you met his gaze, the weight of that understanding settled over you.

“You… look good,” he said, his voice quieter than before, but it still carried the same roughness that sent a shiver down your spine. 

You smiled softly, tilting your head to the side. You wanted to say so many things to him, but all that could come out of your lips was, “Thank you. You look good too.” 

The silence stretched between you, heavy with everything you couldn’t say. You could see the uncertainty in his eyes, the flicker of hope clouded by the reality of your lives now. 

“Mingyu,” you started, unsure of how to express the conflict inside you. “Listen, I…”

But before you could finish, somebody turned around the corner, interrupting your moment, making you jump slightly. Your heart started racing again, the reality of your situation crashing back down on you. Anticipation clenched in your stomach. You had to get out of here. 

“Minghao. Hi.”

Minghao smiled at both of you immediately, stopping in his tracks, his curious gaze locking onto yours. “Sorry about that,” he said with a chuckle, stepping aside to let you pass. “Didn’t mean to startle you.”

“It’s fine.” You said, mirroring his smile. “No worries.”

Then you made a move to walk past him, eager to return to the safety of the dinner table, to Jungkook, but Minghao didn’t let you go so easily. His eyes narrowed slightly as he asked, “Everything okay?” 

“Yeah, I just needed to freshen up.” You replied, glancing toward the dining area of the restaurant where you could hear Jungkook’s voice and the others still laughing, still blissfully unaware of the storm that had just brewed in your mind. 

“Are you two okay?” Minghao asked, glancing between you with a raised eyebrow. 

You nodded quickly. “Yeah, we’re fine.”

He didn't look convinced. “Did I interrupt something?” 

“We’re just catching up,” Mingyu replied, his expression shifting, the vulnerability from moments ago replaced by a guarded look. The casualness in his voice stood in stark contrast to the heaviness that had hung between you seconds earlier. “I had to know if she passed the test to be Jungkookie's girlfriend.”

Mingyu let out a light laugh as he spoke and Minghao nodded, though he didn’t seem convinced. There was a curious glint in his eyes, as if he were trying to piece something together. He studied your face intently, his brows furrowing in thought, like a puzzle he couldn’t quite solve.

“You know,” he started, his voice thoughtful, “you look really familiar. Have we met before?”

Your breath caught in your throat, heart skipping a beat for what it felt like the hundredth time this evening. The way he said it, the way his eyes held yours—it sent a chill down your spine. The distant familiarity in his eyes unsettled you all of a sudden, and you felt a knot tighten in your stomach.

You quickly glanced at Mingyu, then back at Minghao, swallowing hard, the weight of his gaze suddenly becoming too much for you to handle, because you knew exactly where he recognized you from. 

That day at the airport, the very last day, four years ago. The day you had said goodbye to Mingyu, heart in pieces, believing you’d probably never see him ever again. Minghao had been there, along with the other members of Seventeen. Far away, but there. He had probably seen it. He probably knew.

Panic bubbled in your chest, but you fought to keep your expression neutral. You forced a laugh, shaking your head as you carefully replied, "I don’t think so. I think I’d remember."

“You’d be surprised,” Minghao’s eyes narrowed slightly, as if your reaction to his question had only deepened his suspicion. He chuckled softly, but his eyes stayed on yours, sharp with thought. “I’m terrible with names, but faces? I never forget a face.”

He looked like he was going to say something else, but then he tilted his head, studying your face a little bit more. He glanced at Mingyu slightly and there was a beat of silence between the three of you. All of sudden, you felt your pulse quickening again. This night looked like it would be one that would land you in the hospital with the onset of a cardiac arrest. 

“Maybe we’ve crossed paths somewhere,” you said, trying to sound as casual as possible. “But I don’t think we’ve officially met before tonight.”

“Hmm, maybe,” he mused, glancing past you for a second before returning his focus back to your face. There was something knowing in it, something that made you feel sick. This couldn’t be happening. Then Minghao’s expression shifted, as if a light had just switched on in his mind. “Japan! Ha! Have you ever been to Japan?”

“I, uh…” you stammered slightly, trying to keep your cool. “Yeah, I’ve been. For work.”

It wasn’t a complete lie. You had met Mingyu during your time off while the singer you worked for was on tour.

He nodded slowly, like he was piecing something together. “Right.” 

Minghao's eyes lingered on yours, and you had the distinct feeling that he was seeing right through your attempt at casual conversation. 

But to your relief, he didn’t press the subject further. Instead, he just shrugged. “Well, I’m sure it’ll come to me eventually,” he said, his tone hinting at something unspoken. He smiled as he stepped aside, gesturing toward the dining room. “Anyway, I’ll let you get back to Jungkook. Enjoy the rest of your night, Y/N.”

“Thank you, Minghao.” You mumble quickly, as he stepped into the men’s restroom after lightly touching Mingyu's shoulder and smiling at his friend. You took a deep breath, eyes meeting Mingyu’s again. “I should go,” you said, your voice steadier than you felt. “I really need to—”

“Wait,” he interrupted you, his tone suddenly serious. “Can we… can we talk later? Somewhere private?”

You hesitated, the conflict within you flaring up again. Minghao's words and gaze had completely thrown you off balance. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

“Please,” Mingyu said, his voice dropping to a whisper, a plea that struck deep within you. “I just need to see you again. Just to talk.”

“I’ll think about it,” you replied, taking one last look at him before you walked back toward the table. 

Every step felt heavy, your mind racing with thoughts you wished you could push away as you made your way back to Jungkook. Did Minghao know? Was he just playing with you, or had he already connected the dots? Has he really recognized you? Was it possible that he had seen you in the airport with Mingyu? 

You simply couldn’t afford to think about that right now. Not with Jungkook looking so happy, waiting for you at the table, surrounded by his closest friends. For now, you had to push everything aside, pretend like the past hadn’t crashed into your life tonight. 

As you neared the dining area of the restaurant, the sound of laughter greeted you, and for a moment, the weight on your chest lightened. Jungkook spotted you immediately, his face lighting up as he waved you over. 

You observed that boys had spread out. Seokmin, Bambam and Yugyeom were huddled around the karaoke machine, laughing and dancing to the soft ballad playing in the background. Eunwoo, Jaehyun and Chan sat nearby Jungkook, deep in conversation, while there was no sign of Mingyu coming behind you. 

When you reached the table, Jungkook turned fully toward you, flashing that familiar boyish smile, the one that always made your heart swell. It was effortless, the way he could make you feel safe with just a look, as if the entire world faded away and it was only the two of you.

He extended his hands, pulling you close to seat on his lap, his voice soft and affectionate as he murmured, “There you are. I was starting to miss you.”

You genuinely smiled, the sound of his voice grounding you in the presente, exactly where you should be. You had to focus on him. On your six-month anniversary. On the life you had built together, even if ghosts from your past were insisting on creeping back in. 

He wrapped his arms around you, drawing you as close as he could. “You okay?”

The warmth of his embrace and the tenderness in his words wrapped around you like a protective shield, momentarily easing the tension inside you. You melted into his embrace, resting your head against his shoulder and allowing yourself to sink into the comfort he always provided you, grateful for his touch on your skin. “Never been better.”

“I’m so glad you’re here,” Jungkook whispered, his words filled with sincerity as he pressed a soft kiss to the side of your head. “You make everything better, you know?”

You smiled at him again, though this time it felt fragile, like it could shatter at any moment.

“I’m glad too.” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. “I love you.”

He smiled big. “I love you more.”

You shook your head, tears suddenly welling up, pushing against your resolve. "No," you whispered, your voice trembling as you fought to hold them back. You couldn't tell what it was. Whether it was the events of  tonight that had left you feeling so overwhelmed, or if it was simply because you loved this man with every fiber of your being that it couldn't be possible for there to be a love greater than that. "It’s not possible."

Everything inside you felt tangled—love, guilt, confusion—blurring the lines between what was real and what you were trying to push away.

“Yes, it is,” he said, head tilted to the side as he examined your face, his eyes and voice soft with concern, while you sank deeper into his shoulder. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

"Nothing," you whispered, forcing a small smile as you blinked away the tears. "They're tears of happiness, I promise. I'm just happy that we're here and together."

“Babe, this has been the happiest six months of my life.”

Your heart clenched. Six months. It was supposed to feel like a celebration, but all you felt right now was guilt weighing on you.

“Mine too,” you whispered back, mind far from settled.

Jungkook pressed a gentle kiss to your temple. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

You laughed, despite the sincerity in his voice, burying more of your face in his neck and closing your eyes to inhale the scent you loved—his. “Are you drunk right now, mister?”

“Just a little bit,” he chuckled. “But that doesn’t make it any less true.”

“I feel the same way, baby,” you said, hoping the words would steady you. 

He leaned closer, moving your hair away from the back of your neck to leave a trail of kisses there, voice a little rough. “And the way you look in this dress? Absolutely perfect and mesmerizing. I’d say you’re turning heads tonight.”

Your heart raced with joy at his compliment, heat rising to your cheeks. “You’re not too shabby yourself,” you teased, letting your gaze linger on him. “So handsome,” You pressed a kiss to his shoulder, the fabric of his shirt soft beneath your lips. “So hot. It’s no wonder Calvin Klein wants you as their new brand ambassador.”

He chuckled, a low, playful sound that sent a thrill through you. “Careful, babe. If you keep complimenting and kissing me like this, I might have to take you somewhere else.” His tone was flirtatious and tinged with mischief, causing a flutter deep within you at the thought.

You bit your lip, lifting your head from his neck as your hands caressed his face, fingers tracing the outline of his jaw and lip ring. Leaning in closer, you raised an eyebrow, your voice soft and teasing. “Is that a promise?”

“Mhmm…” 

Your faces were inches apart, the warmth of his breath sending pleasurable shivers down your spine. There was electricity in the air, a palpable tension that danced between you, wrapping around you like a silken thread. In that brief moment, it felt like you were the only two people in the room, the rest of the world fading away. 

You swept his hair back, savoring every detail—the curve of his lips, the intensity in his eyes, the magnetic pull of his gaze. The urge to lose yourself in him was always so powerful. With a teasing flick of your tongue, you traced his lips, biting his lip ring, and he parted them willingly. A smile played at your mouth as you pulled back provocatively, but his lips chased yours immediately, hands slipping to the back of your neck, pulling you close. This time, you surrendered to him completely, feeling his smirk press against your mouth as you gave in.

Your eyes fluttered shut, breath catching as his soft lips pressed into yours, stealing the air right from your lungs. As you moved in, your tongue met his in a playful, lingering dance. The warmth of the kiss sparked something deep inside, each gentle caress a silent promise to savor every second together.

Still seated on his lap, your hands pressed to his chest, fingertips grazing over the firm planes beneath, as each languid pull of his lips melted you further .Jungkook’s hands squeezed your hips, urging you even tighter against him. The cool touch of his lip ring sent a thrill through you with every brush, a tantalizing contrast to the heat building between you.

Your hands slid up, fingers lacing behind his neck as your nails grazed his skin, slipping into his hair with a gentle tug. But just as you were close to getting more lost in each other, a piece of bread sailed through the air, smacking Jungkook on the head. You both broke the kiss, turning quickly to see where the unexpected interruption had come from.

Eunwoo, Jaehyun and Chan observed you with amused expressions, joined by the others on the other side of the room.

Crossing his arms over his chest, a teasing smile playing on his lips as he stared at you, Jaehyun said, “Aren’t you two awfully cozy over there?” 

“Seriously, get a room!” Yugyeom shouted across the nearly empty restaurant. 

“And don’t forget we’re still here, please.” Chan spoke, raising an eyebrow and grinning.

The others joined in with laughter, their teasing breaking the intimate bubble you and Jungkook had momentarily created. Your cheeks warmed even more as you buried your face in Jungkook’s shoulder again, caught between embarrassment and amusement.

“Yeah, okay, okay!” Jungkook said, laughing as he pulled back slightly, still holding you on his lap. “Can’t blame us for trying to celebrate our anniversary!”

“Right, right,” Eunwoo said, smirking. “Just don’t do it with us watching, yeah?”

As laughter filled the air, you felt the warmth of Jungkook’s arm around your waist, anchoring you to him amidst the joyful chaos.

But just then, you couldn’t help but let your gaze drift across the table. Drawn by an invisible thread, your eyes locked onto Mingyu’s. He was there again, clearly forcing a laugh as he stared at you. Your heart raced, the laughter around you fading into a distant murmur. Mingyu’s expression was unreadable yet charged, a blend of warmth and something profound swirling between you, and suddenly the light atmosphere seemed to shift again.

“Babe?” Jungkook’s voice pulled you back, concern etched across his features as he noticed your distraction. “What’s wrong?”

You blinked, forcing yourself to focus on him again, the affection in his eyes steadying you again. And then you lie, feeling like the worst person in the world again. “Nothing.”

“Are you sure?” Jungkook pressed, his brow furrowing. ”You're not uncomfortable, are you?”

“No. Really, I’m okay.” you insisted, the words slipping out a little too quickly as your eyes met his. 

Eventually, as the night wore on, your head nestled against Jungkook’s shoulder, the soothing rhythm of his heartbeat started to lull you into a sleeping state. He turned to you, a gentle smile on his face. “So, what do you say we call it a night? I think we’ve celebrated enough for one evening.”

“Yeah, I’d like that,” you replied, your heart swelling with affection.

Jungkook pulled you close, planting a soft kiss on your forehead. “Let’s get you home.”

If you liked this feel free to let me know with a like, reblog, comment, whatever you prefer! ❤️

Goal: 150 notes 🔮

[moonyor]

SPOILERS FOR CHAPTER 107 SXF MANGA ₊⊹

RIGHT i know i’m delusional but hear me out 😭😭

so, chapter 107 ends off with us finding out that lunaluna selena is actually melinda,

which i kinda thought it would be her so woohoo

ALSO on an unrelated note, a lot of people are saying stuff which makes melinda look really sus and although it doesn’t make much sense, i feel like she probably had to do some last minute work or something— she did organise the whole event (with her group), but something probably didn’t work out so maybe she had to fill in for someone??? i’m not sure, she did mention her being sleep deprived too, so maybe it was her being tired from organising the event and having to fill in? idk though 💯

okay back to what i was saying!!! so, skipping a few things, what if melinda does end up reading both yor and anyas palms? i imagine her saying something along the lines of “oh i’ll read your palms since that’s what you came here for!” and then explaining how her readings arent very accurate, but saying that she’d try to make it as accurate as possible since, well, it’s yor and anya

anya would DEFINITELY say “ME FIRST ME FIRST” and both melinda and yor would just go along with it 😭 (we love anya guys)

OKAY now hear me out, what if, for anya, melinda describes damian as her partner or whatever??? and loid as yors??? i’ll explain further 🗣️🗣️

both our girls go to see how compatible they are with their “soulmate” right?? and possibly to see who their significant other is too, so melinda tries to be accurate and gives descriptions of damian for anya and loid for yor ⁉️⁉️

i imagine the description for damian to be hilarious, saying how he can be pretty honest wellllll….. foul-mouthed? you get my drift. anya would be like “yikes why the hell is my man like that i don’t want that pls 😭💔” and then melinda saying how he’s truly soft deep down and how he’s really just a sweetheart #tsunderedamian

ALSO: anya could possibly read melinda’s mind and find out she’s referring to damian, but i don’t see this happening as in my eyes, melinda herself would not be aware of who the person she’s describing is, but she would know how they may look and certain personality traits of theirs!!!! i’m not sure though 😅

as for loid and yor, yor would be COMPLETELY oblivious while melinda is stating the obvious, kinda like the panel of yuri describing loid, it was in chapter 12 i believe?? anyway, yuri says something like “sure, maybe he’s tall, good looking, blonde” etc etc, i see melinda basically stating how he looks and how he overworks himself 😭😭😭 loid is an absolute workaholic but yor is too dumb (i’m sorry yor not in a bad way i love you) to realize that melinda is actually basically just stating everything about loid 😿😿

yor, loid and anya then meet up again after they leave the place and loid asks what happened blah blah blah, yor THEN literally says everything melinda told her and how that’s her partner and how they’re perfect for each other

they’re so cute together i’m actually crazy about them

ANYWAYS loid either is just as clueless as yor, and somewhat jealous that there’s someone else out there that’s PERFECT for yor (although he doesn’t recognise his jealousy and quickly dismisses it) OR he’s like “hey.. that kinda sounds like me??”

obviously he doesn’t say this out loud and he just thinks this in his head, but he does go on to explain how he’s happy there’s someone out there like that for yor (and he thinks that someone is him)!!!! i feel like his ego would get slightly boosted by the fact that yors other half is him, and obviously, he doesn’t say this directly and recognise it properly but he still does act somewhat giddy 😭😭😭🩷🩷🩷

THATS IT FROM ME!!! this is my first post so i don’t think it’ll reach many people— i’m not really sure on how tumblr works lmao but i just needed to get my delusional thoughts out!!!!!

this would be cute but i’m expecting something a lot bigger than this and i don’t think there’s gonna be much romance at all, in fact i feel as if there’s gonna be a lot of action in the next few chapters and oh boy am i excited!!!!! 🔥🔥🔥

if this did happen it probably wouldn’t be like how i’ve explained it, and it’d probably be like the calm before the storm 💔😭

oh well i guess we’ll find out in a month

[waughymommy]

MOMMY KNOWS BEST ❣️

Chapter 19

Rebecca poured them each a glass of wine. “You are really a pro at this Samantha,” Rebecca said.

“Well I did a lot of babysitting in high school and college. I almost pursued early education as a career, but clearly didn’t work out that way,” Samantha responded. There was something about Samantha that put Rebecca at ease. Although they had never spent much time together and never just the two of them, she felt as if she had known her for years.

“Can I be candid with you Samantha?” Rebecca asked.

“Of course,” she replied.

“I love Brian to pieces. He is my world. I am so happy that I am able to be is mommy. But…” Rebecca froze.

“But what?” Samantha implored.

“Well this last week has been a whirlwind. A week ago, I knew my husband as a strong, confident man and now I am changing his diapers. I’m not sure I can ever see him the same again. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t want things to go back to the way they were, but I’m not sure if I will ever see him as my husband anymore. Does that make any sense? Am I being selfish?” Rebecca asked looking for guidance.

“You are not being selfish at all. You have needs too. I think what you have done for Brian is amazing. I admire the sacrifice you have made to give him this, but don’t bury your own needs. Brian chose to be a baby, but he will need to realize that he is no longer your husband. You are his mommy from here on out and he will need to accept that. It may be hard on him, but I have seen how quickly he has transformed into a baby. You never know, one day you might want another partner to help look after him,” Samantha said with a smile.

“Another partner?” Rebecca asked. “I hadn’t even thought of that.

Samantha gave a devious grin and twirled her finger around a strand of hair, “I don’t know. Maybe he needs two mommies?”

Rebecca was stunned. Was Samantha suggesting what she thought she was? She had always been attracted to other women, but never given any thought to the idea of dating a woman. “I, I don’t know,” she mumbled. Samantha leaned over top of her and kissed her lips. Rebecca sat frozen for a moment, but she capitulated to Samantha’s advance and returned the kiss.

Samantha gave her a wry smile, “Well we could discuss the idea more in the bedroom if you like?’

Rebecca’s heart pounded. She had butterflies in her stomach. She didn’t know if she should be doing this. What about Brian? He might be crushed, but then again, she Samantha was right. She had needs too. Rebecca got up and ran into the bedroom. Samantha stood before her completely naked and all of her hesitation vanished. The two collapsed into the bed.

Rebecca, flushed with excitement, whispered into Samantha’s ear, “I need you at my breasts.”

“With pleasure!” Samantha replied. Samantha aggressively sucked at her breasts and started to taste something sweet. She smiled and looked up at Rebecca, “I think your milk is starting to come in.” She went back to sucking her nipples. Rebecca arched her back with pleasure. Samantha kissed Rebecca’s stomach and then down to her pelvis. She soon had Rebecca in ecstasy. “I want you to be his second mommy,” she exclaimed as she came.

“I was hoping you would say that,” Samantha said. The two kissed and held each other while Brian slept, completely unaware of what was happening in the room over.

[thetorturedfagdepartment]

⇢ ˗ˏˋ Halloween Heartbeat ࿐ྂ

A/N: Hiii!!! First fic + Real post on tumblr :3 I hope you guys enjoy this fic! I took a good amount of time on it and hope to get it to 3 chapters before Halloween ends! Anywho enjoy!!! (Also I put it into grammarly so I hope the spelling and grammar is good…)

Tags: Fluff, Modern Au, Halloween Horror nights, Scare Actor Ellie, Ellie x F Reader, Strangers to Lovers?, Men DNI!!!

Your friends love Halloween Horror Nights! You on the other hand— not so much… You guys had just made it out of a house and god were you panicked… Breathing heavy, hands sweaty, vision a little blurry—

“Hey you okay?” one of your friends says placing their hand on your shoulder causing you to jump. “Damn hey chill— we can leave if you want—“

“No!” You shout cutting them off “I’m good I’ll just wait outside the next one.”

Your friends nod and they head to the next house. They wave you goodbye and you stand outside. You see a sweet treat spot across the house and make your way over. The area was crowded and filled with people in costumes, and scare actors and you just tried to stay calm and ignore it.. until a scare actor with short messy auburn hair came up behind you with a chainsaw, she pulled it and it rumbled. You let out a piercing scream, mixed with some tears. She freezes and sees how panicky you are. She then starts to feel bad causing her to break character.

“Hey, Hey, Hey… it’s fake.” She turns it off and touches the blades “See fake.”

You nod and wipe the tears, you have been filled with so much fear and anxiety since you got here.

“S—sorry… I’m usually not this pathetic.” You chuckle and she shakes her head.

“You’re not pathetic, everyone gets scared..” She smiled, you see her pretty eyes and freckles. Although they were mostly covered by the fake blood she had on. She had baggy jeans and a somewhat white tank top drenched in blood and fake cuts all over her. “I’m Ellie,” she extends a hand.

“It’s nice to meet you, Ellie,” you shake her hand and exchange introductions. She was really sweet.

“Actually um— I’m about to start my break how about I meet you in there and buy you a treat?” She says with a warm smile that sends shivers down your spine. You look over and notice your friends have just gotten out of the house.

“I— um—.. oh my friends are back.” You say turning her down.

She seems very upset as you reject her.

“Omg we leave you alone for like 3 minutes and you already get a girl?” One of your friend’s jokes.

“Come onnn, tell us who’s the lady who stole our best friend…” Another one says shaking you gently.

“I’m Ellie, don’t worry guys I’m just about to hand her back. But first I want your number. If that’s okay..?”

You think for a second and nod smiling with a faint blush. You then take out your phone and exchange numbers.

“Heh.. thanks I’ll see you around.” She walks away leaving you with your friends cheering for you getting her number.

—

A few weeks had passed since then, and you and Ellie have begun texting often. She makes you laugh, smile, and blush, every time you guys text its butterflies. She just knows how to make you happy.. Ellie told you what time her shift ended and she had given you some sneaky tickets to come back whenever. You decide maybe it’s time to surprise her..

You get into a cute outfit hoping she’ll like it, even throwing on some makeup… just to give yourself an extra bit of pizazz. You head out the door looking super cute— all just for her.

As you arrive and head into the park, all of the anxiety from a few weeks ago comes right back. The loudness, the people, the scare actors… it’s all just too much. You walk into the gates and brace yourself. Ellie said she's over in the Terror Tram today.. Perfect. Far. You brace yourself, walking through the crowd, and scare zones trying to not cry and pee yourself. One specific actor wouldn’t leave you alone. He chases you through the entire zone. You scream and run quickly but he won’t leave! You end up bumping into someone.

A familiar freckled auburn-haired girl just so happens to be the one you run into…

“Hey, hey.. what’s going on it’s me… w—wait why are you here..?” She tries to calm you down and reassure you, but she’s a bit confused as to why you’re here.

“H—he—he won’t stop chasing me!” You point at the tall man with nice black hair and clown makeup on, who just so happened to have been chasing you with a knife.

“Him? Oh, that’s Jesse.. Jesse!! Get your ass over here!” Ellie calls him over. You then grab her hand and stand next to her.

“Yeah, Elles? Oh look you caught her!” He chuckles. He’s taller, sorta broad, and has medium-length black hair.

“Leave her alone. She’s my — uh…” she blushes and looks away “—friend…”

“Oh, so I’m just a friend now?” You chuckle nudging her.

“Hush.”

“Well it’s nice to meet you Ellie’s just a friend. I’m Ellie’s friend Jesse, and that’s Dina another one of our friends.” He points to a pretty girl dressed up as a killer broken doll.

“Friends? You guys broke up again.” Ellie shakes her head and rolls her eyes.

“You know Dina…” Jesse shakes his head.

You seeing Ellie interact with her friend is kinda cute.. it’s a side you had yet to see of her, and now you’re worried you won’t be able to get it out of your head.. after a few moments they start saying bye.

“Well see ya, I’m still on the clock, and apologies for scaring the shit out of you,” Jesse says as he walks off.

“He seems nice, you know not when he acts like he’s gonna kill me…” you say giving her a dorky smile.

“Yeah, now what are you doing here? I told you my shift was over soon remember I was gonna go to your place.” She says shaking her head and letting out some tongue clicks.

“I know!!! I just wanted to surprise you…”

“Hey that’s really cute and sweet but I don’t want you coming here by yourself knowing you’re gonna be scared,” Ellie says giving you a reassuring smile.

“Okay, okay.. fine I won’t do it again.” You then smile back at her.

“Atta girl. Now, I’m off the clock, and its uhhhh 10 pm? How about we go grab some fast food and head back to your place, I’ll get the food and you set up your living room for a fun hangout night, huh?” Ellie smiles, and a cute pink rose tint appears on her freckled cheeks.

You agree and like Ellie says she heads over to grab some burgers, fries, drinks, and a nice ice cream each for you guys. As you wait for her you set up the living room. On your way home you decided to get some Halloween things. Such as cute spooky blankets, some cobwebs, fake pumpkins, and cute little ghost plushies. You dimmed the lights and sat on the couch waiting for her.

Ellie comes in with the food and locks your door back.

“Woahhhh cute.. I really like how you decorated the place. You know, you didn’t need to do all that.” Ellie says setting the food down and handing you, your drink. She shakes her head and chuckles taking a seat next to you.

“Yeah, I know but I wanted to make the living room look all cute..” You blush slightly and grab the food.

“So what is this like a date now?” Ellie says taking a bite of her burger.

“… if you want it to be…” you then look her in the eyes.

“I— um .. w—well yeah…” Ellie blushes feeling a bit flustered and jittery inside. It’s been a while since she had felt this way. Maybe a little too long..?

You nod your head and you guys eat dinner, with a little bit of chit-chatting here and there. You guys finish the burgers and fries and eat your ice cream cuddling on the couch.

Eventually, Ellie clears her throat and brings up the topic of movies.

“Sooo what do you wanna watch pretty girl.”

Pretty girl…

“Uhh I don’t know, I’m not that much into horror so as long as it’s not that I’m fine.” You say taking a lick of your ice cream.

“I should’ve guessed that.. well come on we have to watch something spooky or at least like with mythical creatures!” Ellie nudges you and laughs.

“Okay then..”

You get up and grab a DVD, you then insert it in your PlayStation.

“A DVD? Come on how old are you 40?” Ellie says with a stupid snort-laugh.

You then play your DVD and Ellie has no clue what you put on.

“Soooo what did you choose?”

“You’ll see…”

“I swear to god if it’s stupid I’m literally gonna murder you.. this time with a real chainsaw.” Ellie groans and you guys finish your ice creams and lay back.

Then the intro rolls in.

“You’re fucking kidding me right..? Twilight.” Ellie groans, rubbing her face, and shoves you off of her.

“Come on what’s so bad with Twilight!” You then scoot back over and flick her nose causing it to scrunch.

“It’s corny! I always cringe! I mean the plot is good it’s just cringe all right!!” Ellie whines but soon she sucks it up for your sake.

As the movie plays Ellie makes some snobby jokes and you just bounce back. About halfway through the movie she just stares at you…

You feel her gaze and look at her. Causing her to look away, a soft blush appears on her and you giggle. Butterflies sent straight to her stomach. You don’t stop staring… you keep looking at her. She’s beautiful, how has no one already swooped her off her feet…? God you wanna kiss her— what..?

“Uh— you’re … missing the best part…” Ellie says clearing her throat and still blushing like a dork.

“I’ve seen it 1000 times… Ellie I—“ You then lean in for a kiss.

Ellie’s eyes widen as her lips press yours. She places a hand on the side of your cheek leaning towards you gently kissing you. Your hands wrap around her waist as you guys cuddle while you kiss. The kiss is long and gentle.

The kiss finally breaks and a tiny piece of salvia strings between you two. Ellie chuckles wiping her lips.

“You’re so cute..” she says smiling like a dork.

“Yeah… right back at you.”

You have no regrets about going to that stupid amusement park a few weeks ago now.

Read part 2 here!

[magics-neptunes-things]

Mockingjay - Part 7

Hi guys :)

I don't have anything to say for this one, just be careful about the triggers warning.

Enjoy!

TW : Death, blood, murders, face injury, injuries in general.

Chapter before

“Ona”

Ona frowns and stirs, being awakened in her sleep. She knows that voice and it’s what finally really wakes up.

Opening her eyes, she finds herself right in front of Jana. The girl is smiling, looking as peaceful and sweet as she always has been. Ona stands up abruptly, almost falling in the process.

“What are you doing here? Wait, am I dead?” she starts to panic.

Ona looks around her anxiously, trying to learn what is happening. There is nothing around them but trees. The last thing she remembers is falling asleep on the tree with Teagan next to her, when the boy assured her that he had slept enough.

“You’re not dead” Jana smiles at her.

Ona nods, still wondering what the hell is happening. But if it’s a dream, it’s the first time she dreams about Jana while being almost conscious about what is happening. Jana is still looking at her, smiling. She seems so peaceful, with her hair in the usual braid she was wearing every day. Jana doesn’t talk, she just keeps looking at Ona.

Seconds pass and it’s maybe time to say things she says while she talks to her, Ona thinks. But what to begin with?

“Jana, I’m so sorry” Ona says, taking a step to be closer to her.

“About what?”

The question seems genuine. Jana tilts her head on the side, still looking at Ona with a real query.

“For not knowing how to protect you, I guess? You were so young; it was so unfair…”

“It was” Jana smiles sadly. “I’m sorry that it made you suffer so much”

Ona shrugs, looking at her feet. Of course, she suffered from her girlfriend’s death, but she’s pretty sure she suffers very less than Jana herself. Imagine her being scared every single second is crushing her lungs. That’s why she’s trying to protect Teagan, Jana didn’t have someone to look after her when she was in that arena.

“But I’m okay now, you know. Plus, I had a happy life before all of this. I had a loving and caring family, amazing friends, and a perfect girlfriend.”

Ona smiles and raises her eyes again on her when Jana taps her feet with hers. Jana was sweet, but definitely a tease too. Something Ona loved very much.

“A lot of people from the Capitol or the career Districts don’t have that. I was lucky to have all of you.”

She seems sincere and for some reason it makes Ona feel a little lighter. Like if a weight was removed from her shoulders. Jana was right, it wasn’t maybe the perfect life, but at least they were happy.

“Why don’t you think your girlfriend hasn’t talked to you about her family yet?” Jana adds.

It catches Ona’s attention, and she feels herself blushing hard. Ona finds herself babbling about something she doesn’t understand herself, which seems to amuse Jana a lot. Seeming to take pity on Ona, Jana finally interrupted her.

“Ona I’m not mad, please breathe” the girl giggles.

Ona obliges and takes a big breath, trying to calm her nerfs.

“You’re not?” Ona whispers.

“Of course not. You deserve happiness and if it’s with her it’s okay. She seems to be a great girl.”

“You talk like we are living on a peaceful island, not a war arena” Ona points out.

“You always have been the pessimist one” Jana rolls her eyes.

Ona rolls her eyes too. Even if Jana is right, optimism was never something very strong in her personality. But given the life they had, it can be understandable can’t it?

“You can survive this, Ona. I know it.”

“How?” Ona frowns.

“You wear my necklace. I’ll protect you.”

Ona looks at Jana for some more seconds. There is so much she wants to say to Jana, but just when she opens her mouth again, she hears someone else calling her.

“Ona. Ona!”

Ona wakes up in a burst, looking around her quickly again, panting heavily. Jana isn’t here anymore, she’s back on her tree with Teagan next to her. The boy seems uncomfortable next to her, making her wonder what is happening. 

“I’m sorry, but you were whispering strange things. And I think an insect bit you.”

He points somewhere near Ona’s neck, and the girl mechanically puts her hand on it. She can feel the bite, hot under her fingers.

“What does the bite look like?” she asks Teagan.

“Like a stretched round, purple” he says, leaning a little bit to have a better look at it.

“Dreaming bees” Ona sighs. “They can cause hallucinations if they bite you. It can be very strong if the bee is adult, this one might have been a baby”

She rubs her neck softly, thinking a little more. She learned about those bees in survival classes, they are pretty hard to fight because they are hard to crush. And they usually live together, not alone.

“We probably should move from here, this bee probably isn’t alone. We can find another tree or go exploring. What do you think is better?”

“I don’t know. Maybe we shouldn’t go after the starting point, it’s a desert and I heard someone say that his teammates died of thirst.”

“Awful” Ona says, shivering.

If she can choose her death, she would rather it being during a fight or something. Dying from thirst or hunger must be really terrible. It made her think that she needs to fill her water again.

Teagan and Ona decided to wait until dusk before getting out of the tree, still looking around to be sure not to be bitten again.

“Did you make friends during training?” Teagan asks, when they are walking to the river.

“Friends? Not really…” Ona answers, her thoughts going to Lucy once again. “I mean, I liked Anna from the 9…”

“I saw you talking to Lucy Bronze several times too”

“When?” Ona frowns.

They haven’t talked a lot during training sessions, so she’s curious about the answer. Teagan smirks and shrugs before answering.

“In the hallways. I always found her intimidating” he admits.

“I’m sure she would love to hear that” Ona chuckles while they arrive at the river.

She then puts a finger on her lips, asking Teagan to be quiet. She remembers perfectly that Declan said that they were on the other side of the river, which means they could be everywhere. She would love to see Lucy again, but not with the risk of being killed.

Ona was filling her bottle, and Teagan was washing his hands when they heard the music announcing the deaths dashboard. Still with white pictures of the dead tributes. It’s still strange for Ona to think that those people are dead, killed by the ones still around her.

“Only two deaths” Teagan whispers. “How many people are still alive?”

Ona sits on a rock, trying to think.

“Well, us two. Tony, which makes three and the boy hunting you. And the six people of the career’s districts. I think the girls from the 12 and the 7 are still alive?”

“It makes 12 people, and we were 24 at first”

Ona nods softly. Deciding not to stay without doing anything, she starts to look around to find some fruit or something to eat. Teagan helps her, never too far from her. Ona is almost sure that he’s scared of the dark, but she decides not to tease him with that. Maybe she should reconsider her strategy and start to do her things in the daylight.

“Are those strawberries?” Teagan asks in disbelief.

Ona frowns, coming closer to have a look. She had strawberries in the Capitol for dessert from time to time. But those look a little bit smaller and different.

“I’m not sure” Ona answers. “Maybe we –“

She stops talking as soon as she hears it, but it’s too late. Someone is walking to them or running maybe. Teagan has heard them too considering his frightened face. Ona still takes Teagan to help him climb a tree, pushing his feet with both hands.

But it’s too late for her, she just has time to turn around to face the boy who was running after Teagan yesterday.

“Oh. Hi” he smirks. “Who were you talking to?”

“No one” Ona answers, standing a little straighter.

The boy arches an eyebrow and comes closer. That’s when Ona realizes that he’s holding a bloody knife. No doubt he already served. He keeps talking, but Ona doesn’t listen. She tries to think fast, asking herself what Alexia would do in this situation. She can run, she’s fast. But she knows that the boy is fast too. And strong.

She still can try to fight back, but it would probably be a very uneven fight.

Understanding that Ona isn’t listening to him anymore, the boy’s face changes and he jumps on her, taking her by surprise. Ona manages to avoid him with extreme accuracy, her reflexes still good despite the lack of sleep and food.

Ona realizes quickly that he might be stronger, but he’s slower than her. She learned during training not to be on the ground during a fight, but it looks like to her that jumping on his legs is a pretty good thing to try.

So, Ona tries, pushing with all the strength she has in her legs. It does work, the boy falls on the ground but still kicks Ona right in the face with his boots. The pain is immediate and strong, but Ona still manages to stand up. She wobbles a little, but her blurred vision allows her to realize that her opponent is trying to get back on his feet too. He seems mad with rage.

“You’re so dead” he spits.

Just when he takes a step in her direction, a noise above their head stops both of them. Ona just has the time to look up to see a big branch falling from the tree. Right on the boy’s head.

This has the merit of knocking him out half. He is lying on the ground, the branch next to him. Ona knows what to do, but it’s not easy. Her hands tremble when she grabs the branch, but her blows are sharp and precise, destined to leave no chance for the other boy. She knows she succeeded when she hears the sound of the cannon.

“Ona?”

The brunette raises her head, spotting Teagan sitting on another branch of the tree, just next to the one who fell before.

“Nice one, Kiddo” Ona says almost tiredly.

She feels… Empty. Throwing the branch a little further, she turns to the bag and the things that belonged to the boy. Next to her, Teagan jumps from the last branch, coming to have a look too.

Ona opens the bag and gets out the things that are in there. Another bottle, the knife obviously, bandages, a small landing net and a bowl. After having split the things in two, they both take a bag. Teagan insists that Ona takes the big knife.

“You should probably wash your wound, it looks painful” Teagan says.

Ona sighs but nods, getting closer to the river once again. She can’t see her face, but her left cheek is painful. She appreciates the feeling of something fresh against her face, but the pain is still here when she stands up again.

“You probably will have a black eye” Teagan informs her.

She shrugs, deciding not to pay attention to it. If this had been in everyday life, it would have probably changed. But here, she doesn’t care a bit. There’s worse. Their small chance of survival, for example.

“Should we go back to the forest?” Teagan asks.

Ona hesitates, biting her lips softly. She thought that she was safer in the forest, but she was wrong.

“Maybe we can go to the city. It might have houses a little bit more hidden than the big building I chose last time.”

With that, they start walking to go to the city. The walk seems longer to Ona, maybe because it’s during the night. Or maybe it’s because she’s still shocked by what happened. She knew that she would have to fight at some point, but Ona had not prepared herself psychologically for the feeling of killing. Despite her, his thoughts are with the family of this boy, people who loved him.

This time, they are coming from the other side and Ona sees small houses on a little hill. Which is perfect to see someone coming, if she doesn’t fall asleep of course. She wonders if she could fall asleep if she lays down somewhere. Probably.

They walk in silence and after having looked around to be sure that they were alone, Ona and Teagan chose a small light blue house. The windows are almost all closed with wooden panels, but some holes inside allow them to be able to observe around.

The sun is lighting the sky when Teagan calls her, standing in front of the windows.

“Look at the lake” he points.

Ona looks and frowns. There is effectively a lake here, one she hasn’t seen when she was in the city before. But what is strange is that the water is glowing.

“We’ll avoid going to go swimming there, I think” Ona smiles softly before turning in Tegan’s direction. “You must sleep a little. I’ll keep an eye on the area during this time.”

Teagan doesn’t wait before accepting Ona’s offer. He finds a spot on the wooden floor and lies on the blanket they have recovered from their adventures. In two minutes, he is out of the world and Ona can only see once again how young he is.

Ona sighs softly and sits on a cupboard, offering her a view around them. Everything seems so calm and peaceful, as if they aren’t in the middle of an arena. She froze suddenly when she heard something, like a wolf’s cry. But even if she looks everywhere, she can’t find anything.

Her thoughts go to Lucy again and she can’t help but wonder where she is right now. None of her teammates are dead for now and it looks like they are sticking together for now. Is she still on the other side of the river? If Ona was alone, maybe she would try to find her. Just to see her one last time before something bad happened to her. Ona knows she can’t win here, but it doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to try. And she won’t give up either.

Her hand is stroking Jana’s pendant once again. She feels sad not to be able to talk to Lucy. She would like to talk to her about her dream with Jana, because even if it was a dream, Ona has the impression that it’s exactly what Jana would have said.

And to be honest, Ona wasn’t expecting that missing Lucy would be the hardest point of all this game.

Just when she wanted to look around the house a little more, she sees a little group of people walking in the direction of the lake. Frowning, she come closer to the window, trying to see who it is. It’s not Lucy, she knows it. But it looks like to her that it’s Declan with one of the twins and the girl Lucy wanted to kill when they were in the building the other day.

“What are they doing here?” she mumbles, coming closer.

Being careful not to be seen, Ona comes as close as possible to the windows. Now, the lake seems normal, it’s not glowing anymore. Ona frowns softly when she realizes that. Teagan wakes up while the trio is looking at the lake, talking and gesturing around.

Until both girls suddenly come closer to Declan while he’s looking at something on the shores of the lake. They push the poor boy, not giving him any chance to escape a fall in the lake.

An awful scream is heard just before silence. And the cannon.

“Did they… Did they just kill him?” Teagan mumbles, eyes wide.

Ona passes her tongue nervously on her lower lip before answering.

“It looks like it”

She’s scared. Not of those two girls, but she’s scared for Lucy. If they aren’t scared of killing Declan like this, what can they do to Lucy? She feels her head sting at the idea of something bad happening to the girl she loves.

“Wait, what is this?” Ona frowns.

There is something coming from the lake, like a fog floating in the air. It’s pale yellow and it looks like the girls saw it too. She hears Lilith screaming when the fog hits her, and that scream raises Ona’s hair on her head.

They take their bags and run outside, leaving as fast as possible. Looks like she always returns to the woods, Ona thinks. She grabs Teagan’s hand to make him run faster. When she turns around, she realizes that the city is now completely inside the yellow fog, and it makes her shiver.

They never heard about something like this during the trainings or the survival courses. Or at least Ona can’t remember it.

“What was that?” Teagan asks, out of breath, when they finally stop their run.

“I don’t know” Ona answers.

She opens her bag to grab her bottle of water and drink, relieved that they chose the river to have some water and not the lake.

“It looked like chemical smoke or something” Teagan mumbles.

“Yeah”

Scary as hell. She froze suddenly when she hears the cannon once again, looking around her as if she would have the name of the person who just died. But she knows she won’t, she will have to wait tonight. Was it Lucy? Can they betray her too?

“What are we doing now?” Teagan asks.

Ona thinks for some seconds, biting her lips. She wants to find Lucy now more than ever, but she knows it’s probably taking Teagan right to the death with her.

“I don’t know if it’s a good idea to go there” she says, pointing to an area where she never went before. “I think I heard wolves from here.”

“Maybe” Teagan mumbles. “There is snow there”

Ona shivers at the idea. She has never seen snow before, but she’s not sure that she wants to see some in those conditions.

“First, I think we need to find out if the smog is still moving forward or not” Ona decides. “Then we will see.”

When Teagan nods, Ona helps him to go in one tree while she climbs another one. She goes as high as possible, wanting to have the best view possible. Ona needs several minutes to be high enough and have an open view. She can see the fog, but it seems still next to the city. She waits a little bit though, just to be sure.

“It’s okay, it’s not moving anymore” she says to Teagan when she reaches his high again.

The boy seems relieved about this information. Maybe they should go hiding somewhere else, but for once, Ona is tired. Mentally and physically. She doesn’t know where Lucy is, whether she’s safe or if she’s in danger.

“Who do you think will win the Games?”

Ona frowns at Teagan’s question. It’s a good one to be honest. It’s easier to answer now that a lot of them are already dead.

“I think… Lucy Bronze could be a good winner” Ona says slowly. “I mean, her brother already won and she’s strong”

“I would rather for her to win. Not Seth or someone else”

Ona nods only. If she could choose someone to win, she would choose Lucy, of course. While they were talking, Ona hears the same noise she heard the first day, when she was inside the building. Knowing what it is, she looks around to find the small metal box, smiling when she spots it.

When she opens it, she finds a small glass container.

“The message says it’s for your injury on your face” Teagan reads.

Ona looks at it and realizes that it isn’t the same handwriting as that day. The message isn’t from Alexia, which means that some sponsor made the choice to send her something to help her heal her injury.

Opening the container carefully, she finds an orange cream, smelling pretty good to be honest. She uses the mirror inside the box to put the cream at the right place. She grimaces when she sees her face. The cut seems deep, and her eye is swollen. The cream is cold, which alone is really appreciative.

Minutes after, they hear the song announcing the pictures of dead tributes. She frowns when she sees that Lilith is dead, apparently the fog was murderous. But that means that Lucy is still alive, and Ona can breathe again. Declan and Teagan’s chaser are also shown.

“So, still 9 people alive” Teagan breathes. “The two from the 1, Seth, Lucy, us, the girl from the 7 and the one from the 12. Do you think they are together?”

“I hope for them” Ona sighs. “Being alone must be terrifying.”

“Yeah… About that, I wanted to th –“ Teagan begins.

“Don’t’” Ona shakes her head. “No need to thank me. Plus, you saved my life earlier too. We are okay.”

It seems to reassure Teagan, who smiles proudly. It makes Ona smile back and the girl realizes that she hasn’t smiled a lot in this arena. Which is probably normal, though.

“So we’re teammates?” the young boy asks.

“We are” she smirks, before raising her fist for him to punch it.

Then they fall into silence, Ona closing her eyes for some seconds to try to rest a little. Her face hurts and she’s trying very hard not to touch her eyes.

“Can I ask you something?” Teagan asks, several minutes after.

Ona hums for only an answer, not opening her eyes for now. She doesn’t know why, but she has the feeling that the question has been in the boy’s mind for some time now.

“Why aren’t you fighting with Tony? I mean he’s strong and from what I heard; he was one of your brother’s friends? When you saved me the other day, I was waiting for you to tell me that you want to find him or something.”

Ona opens her eyes softly and looks at the boy, thinking of the best way to answer this question. She knows that now they are not as much as the beginning, there are a lot of risks that they are filmed. And she doesn’t want to make any problem for her family if Tony’s family sees this. Or Tony himself, if he wins this.

“I think we don't have the same view of things. It was obvious during the training already. He didn’t want to take our mentor’s opinions and advice. I did and I still do. Alexia told me to run away at the beginning and gave me some advice about how to survive in this based on my strengths. It worked pretty well for now. Plus, seeing we were separated at the beginning of the Games and our paths never crossed, I think it’s just fate.”

He nods thoughtfully, seeming to think about what Ona just answered him. She doesn’t want to say that she hates his behavior and that she’s still mad about the fact that he deprived her to spend more nights with Lucy to look at the stars.

“I’m glad. We would probably never have been teammates otherwise.”

“I’m glad too in that case” Ona grins.

Next Chapter (Coming soon)

[achilles-rage]

thirteen crows: chapter eight

summary: you wake up in eddie’s house and they show you who you belong to.

word count: 2.9k

previous chapter

series masterlist

a/n: the last chapter!!! and happy halloween!! seeing as my last series took 3 months, this one felt like it flew by, and i’m gonna miss it :// also, i got really into this chapter lowkey and it literally had my face hot as i was writing and idk why. anyway, enjoy<3

warnings: smut, mentions of violence (nothing graphic), no use of y/n, fem!reader, plus size!reader, race inclusive!reader

MDNI- 18+ Only!

Your vision is still black when you feel the pain throughout your body coming back to you, and you let out a low groan. Your elbow is throbbing from hitting the ground, as well as one of your knees, and you’re sure your neck is already bruising from Buck’s hands wrapped around your throat.

As you slowly come back to your senses, you can feel that you’re in a chair with your wrists tied tightly behind your back, and you’re now only wearing a bra and panties. You don’t know how long you’ve been out, or where you are, and either way, you’re far too afraid of the voices you once thought of as your solace speaking across the room.

Being tied and blindfolded isn’t what brings your fear back, though, it’s the sound of the voices not far from where you are, one clearly angry, and the other anxious.

“How could you be so fucking stupid? Leaving your mask lying around!” You’re sure it’s Eddie who’s speaking, and you let out a quiet, ragged breath as you listen to them. You’re still barely able to believe that your sweet regulars could do this to you. They seemed so nice. So normal.

“It was in my closet! I forgot! She-” Buck begins to argue, but the loud groan you let out as a pain runs up your spine causes them both to turn to you. Must be from the fall, you think. Your breath catches in your throat as nothing but silence fills your ears, and your hands start to shake as you hear footsteps coming towards you.

Buck turns to you with a smirk on his face, excited to continue with their game, while Eddie is more wary. He’s still reeling from everything that’s just been dumped on him, and he can’t believe that Buck would do something so idiotic. He’s just lucky that Eddie is able to come up with plans so quickly.

Deep down, he’s happy he can finally have you, but he knows that doing this so sporadically increases their risk of being caught.

You blink a few times as the blindfold is ripped from your eyes, trying to focus your gaze as you’re met with bright lights and the dark black eyes of two masks.

They’ve brought you to Eddie’s house; it’s a lot less likely for anyone to hear you scream than at Buck’s apartment. You’re not sure how they managed to get you here without anyone seeing you, and you’re not sure you want to know either.

“There’s our sweet girl. You feeling alright, sweetheart?” Eddie speaks in a feigned soft voice. He’s not necessarily mad at you, so he doesn’t want to take it out on you completely, but even so, there’s a hint of gruffness in his voice.

Your lip quivers as you look up at him, the glint from the knives they’re both holding distracting you from the fact that they’re still wearing those masks, but only for a moment.

“My wrists hurt. Can you loosen the restraints?” you ask, trying to keep your voice soft and sweet. They were nice to you at one point, so you pray that if you’re nice enough to them, they might show you some mercy. Buck chuckles softly, and he’s about to lunge at you before Eddie stops him with a firm hand on his chest.

You yelp softly at Buck’s movement, tears threatening to fall from your eyes.

“Nice try. Don’t think I’ve forgotten how you tried to run from me. Twice.” Buck seethes, and you finally let a few tears fall. You lower your head, which makes Eddie smile. Such a submissive little thing now. Just like he’d known you’d be.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I was just scared. You caught me off guard.” you tell him in a shaky voice, looking up at him with the best puppy dog eyes you can muster.

You remember how desperate Buck was when he was kissing you, so you hope that you can get him back to that rather than the man standing in front of you. You’re sure if Eddie wasn’t here, the knife in Buck’s hand would already be firmly in your chest.

“You tried to run. You’ll learn soon enough that you can’t do that, yeah? You can never get away from us.” Eddie says calmly, and it makes your blood run cold. Eddie’s stoic voice is somehow scarier than Buck’s clearly enraged demeanour.

At least Buck is showing his anger. You have no idea what Eddie is thinking or how you could possibly talk yourself out of this with him.

“You killed all those people.” you tell them, your shoulders relaxing as you look up at them with a pleading expression. You can’t see the way their eyes travel down to your bra-covered tits and your soft tummy, and the way they focus on your exposed thighs, but even so, you shiver.

You’re terrified of what they could do, but you can’t help the way your cheeks heat up at their attention. The way they’re looking at you with their heads tilted to the side makes you feel things you know you shouldn’t, and you can’t help but think about their mouths on you in your apartment.

“They deserved it. They were abusers, and rapists, and racists. They deserved every single slice they got.” Eddie speaks in a low voice, and for a moment, his voice seems desperate. He wants you to see their side of this, but it’s difficult right now.

“You killed Grace. And Isaac.” you counter, chewing on your lip as you think about them.

Grace was hard enough for you to cope with, but they made you watch Isaac die, and that’s not something you’re sure you’ll ever forget.

“You’re really gonna keep pretending you give a shit about Grace? She disrespected you. She disrespected us.” Buck says angrily, his jaw clenched as he lets a hard breath out through his nose. Your brows furrow in confusion.

“When did she disrespect you?” you ask, trying to ignore the way your heart flutters at their protectiveness over you. They may be literal killers, but they were once your sweet regulars, and you hate that you love the idea of them caring so much about you.

“She disrespected what was ours. Disrespected our taste; as if we’d ever want someone like her.” Eddie rasps, and you’re not sure what to say about this. You had thought the same as her, after all; you weren’t sure why they chose you and not her. You wouldn’t dare tell them that, though.

“And as for Isaac, he was getting too close. He tried to take you from us.” Buck explains, licking his lips as he thinks about the fear in Isaac’s eyes when they killed him. How you let him hold you so close while Eddie killed Isaac.

“He didn’t. He was being nice.” you try to argue, your voice getting slightly louder as you sit up straighter. They both scoff, grips tightening on their knives.

“He wanted you for himself.” Eddie is getting angrier, you can tell by his tone. If you thought Buck was frightening, you’re sure Eddie would be much scarier if you could see his face beneath his mask right now.

“He was trying to help me feel better. Safer.” you say in a soft voice, ducking your head in fear.

“Yeah, trying to make you feel better by putting his disgusting hands on you, by corrupting our sweet girl. That’s our job.” Buck says, his body suddenly tensing. Your shoulders raise at his outburst, and you keep your eyes focused on the ground in front of you.

“Would you have let him touch you, sweetheart? Would you have let him kiss you, touch you, fuck you?” Eddie asks, and when you look up at him, his head is tilted slightly. He studies your every move, trying to decipher if you’ll lie to them or not.

You shake your head, whimpering soft no’s, and Eddie chuckles.

“Exactly, because you’re ours to take care of, isn’t that right? Don’t pretend that you didn’t like when we ate your pretty little pussy.” Buck says before Eddie can respond.

Eddie’s eyes dart to Buck for a split second before he looks back at your sheepish expression, and he knows immediately that they’ve got you right where they want you.

“Admit it, sweet girl.” Eddie urges, and you swallow before you speak.

“I liked it.” You can’t lie to them, especially not when they made you feel so good. You know that the fear should be eating you from the inside out right now, but you can also feel the familiar feeling of arousal in your belly as they stare you down.

“Good girl. See? You’re all ours to care for.” Buck purrs, his anger slowly melting away. You begin to calm down as Buck does, and you’re glad that the remnants of the sweet man you know are back, sort of.

“So, you’re not gonna hurt me?” you ask, sniffling softly as they step closer to you. They’re now towering over you, masks tilted at the same angle while they stare you down in your pretty cotton panties and black bra.

“Hurt you? Why would we hurt you?” Eddie asks in a slightly condescending tone, watching as Buck leans down just enough to drag his knife across your chest.

“Sweet girl, we don’t want to hurt you, we want to keep you.” Buck adds on, then uses the knife to tear the side of your panties. You shiver as the sound of ripping of fabric hits your ears, and your eyes widen slightly, hating how turned on you are.

“We’ll only mark up this pretty skin and paint it red if you disobey us, and you’re not gonna do that, are you, sweet girl?” Eddie asks, tearing the other side of your panties with his knife. Your thighs quiver as the fabric falls slightly, and a small gasp escapes your lips when Buck rips the fabric from your body completely.

“No, I won’t. I won’t, I promise.” you reply in a quivering voice, shaking your head fervently. You can’t tell if you’re more turned on or afraid right now, but you can feel the pool between your legs, and embarrassment fills your body.

Buck and Eddie smirk at each other at your quick response, although they can’t see each other’s faces, and then they both place the blades of their knives on your inner thighs. They force you to spread your legs for them, and they both smirk wider when they see the mess between your legs, although all you can see is the big, void holes of their masks.

“You’re dripping, baby. You must love the idea of being all ours.” Buck purrs, eyes on your glistening folds.

Eddie watches Buck as he kneels down and begins to press hot kisses to your inner thighs, getting dangerously close to your core as he pushes the mask up his face just enough to expose his mouth.

“Since you’ve been so good at controlling your anger, I’m gonna let you pick. You want her pussy, or her sweet little mouth?” Eddie asks Buck, and you feel yourself getting impossibly more turned on at the fact that he’s ignoring your say in the matter completely.

Buck thinks for a moment, unable to decide which he’d rather, but when he looks back down at your desperate cunt, he answers quickly.

“Need this pussy.” Buck murmurs, resisting the urge to bury his face between your thighs. Eddie chuckles, shaking his head at how hard of a time Buck has hiding his feelings.

Eddie wants to fuck you just as bad right now, but he wants your mouth almost as bad, and he knows by how wet you are that he’ll definitely get his chance. You’re theirs now.

Eddie moves around to the back of your chair and cuts your wrists loose while Buck pulls his mask back down, and then Buck is quick to pull you up, not giving you a chance to rub your wrists in a desperate attempt to soothe them.

Buck lifts you with ease, mostly so you don’t run again, and also because he so. fucking. desperate. His hands grip the back of your thighs tightly as he brings you to Eddie’s room, and he groans when he throws you onto the bed and you squeal softly.

They don’t give you a chance to speak, or breathe, before Eddie walks around Buck’s frame and flips you onto your stomach. His hands are on your hips as he urges you to lift your hips, making you arch your back and show them your dripping cunt once again.

Buck is already palming himself through his jeans as he takes in the sight of your ass in the air, waiting like the good girl that you are for their cocks. Your cheek is pressed against the sheets as you wait patiently for them to touch you, and when you feel a hand move up your thigh to your ass, then smack you harshly, you bite back a whimper.

A moan escapes your throat a second later when you feel the tip of Buck’s cock teasing your entrance, gathering up your arousal before he uses it to push all the way into you in one swift motion.

You’re not even used to the sheer size of him when Eddie moves to kneel in front of you on the bed, mask covering his face and clothes still covering his body, except for his hard, leaking cock that’s been pulled out of his pants.

He grabs your hair and roughly tugs you up onto your hands before he pushes his cock past your lips and into your mouth. You gag around him as he starts to move with force, mouth watering moans escaping his lips as he fucks your mouth.

“Yeah, you like that, sweet girl? I can feel you clenching around me.” Buck purrs, and you whimper around Eddie’s cock, unable to nod or speak.

Eddie chuckles darkly, picking up his pace to match Buck’s desperate thrusts to your cunt. Buck groans at the sight of you filled by both of them at once, and as much as he loves the sight, he fights hard to resist the urge to pull you back against him by your hair and fuck you harder.

You try your hardest to pay attention to Eddie as Buck abuses your cunt, trying to use your tongue and hollow your cheeks as he fucks your throat, but it’s difficult.

Buck is so deep inside of you, and you can already tell that you’re going to feel him for days after he’s done with you.

You can feel Eddie twitching as you look up at him, tears streaming down your face as you struggle to breath around his cock, but he doesn’t let up. He’s set on cumming down your throat, and no amount of tears will deter him.

You can feel yourself getting closer too, and you hate how good it feels to be used by both of them at once. Buck reaches one hand around to rub your clit in quick circles, making you whimper loudly around Eddie’s cock.

After a few more harsh thrusts, you cum with a loud moan, and Buck is teetering on the edge. When Eddie sees that you’ve been taken care of, he pulls his cock from your mouth and pulls you forward on the bed.

Your face brushes against the sheets again, and you feel yourself clench around nothing as Buck’s cock is pulled from your cunt. You can’t even speak when Eddie flips you around again, this time onto your back. You watch as he moves to stand beside Buck at the edge of the bed, then let him pull you off the bed and onto your knees in front of them.

They both want to breed you so bad; fuck their cum into you until you’re swollen with the constant reminder of who you belong to, but it’s too soon to think about that. Maybe when you’re properly trained for them, they’ll reward you by filling your pussy to the brim.

“Open your pretty little mouth, baby. You’re gonna take all of it, sweet girl, yeah?” Eddie purrs, and you nod quickly, eyes darting between both men as they start to fist their cocks eagerly.

You open your mouth as you wait, thighs squeezing together as you watch with hungry eyes.

Finally, finally, they both let go, coating your face and chest with their cum, and you try desperately to catch as much of it in your mouth as you can.

You swallow eagerly, eyes darting between them as you do, and when you stick out your tongue to show them that you’ve taken it all, they both smirk beneath the masks.

“There we go. Good girl; letting us fill your belly with our cum. And if you try to run again, we’ll gut you. Take it all away from you. You got that, sweet girl?” Eddie asks in a condescending tone.

In your post-orgasm daze, all you can do is nod, mumbling a soft “yes, promise I won’t.”

“Good girl. See? We’ll take care of you, sweet girl. You’re all. ours.” Buck rasps, and you nod again, biting your lip as you savour the taste of them on your tongue.

Their pretty girl. They know they’ve almost completely broken you already; ruined you for anyone else. Pretty soon, they won’t even need the knives. It won’t take them long to have you completely subservient to them, and then, they’ll reward you with their cum; fucked deep into your womb.

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[pandora-writes-one-piece]

The Meet Cute - Law's Story - 14

Source for pic

The Great Pretender 14 🔞

Word Count: 4413

Tags For The Whole Story: Fem!Reader; Law is a soft dom; you have bratty tendencies (not all the time); voice kink; praise kink; cursing; very suggestive behaviour and innuendo from the start; sexual tension; teasing; so much flirting; romance; slow-burn; fluff; slight angst; mature audiences (though explicit NSFW moments will be properly tagged on the chapter); possessive Law; protective Law; soft Law; teasing Law; manipulative Doflamingo; inappropriate Doflamingo; fake relationship trope; only one-bed trope; reader has some anxiety issues; reader is a control freak and perfectionist; modern day AU; Mention of ex mentally abusive relationship;

Special Warning: English is not my first language, I apologise for any possible spelling or grammar mistakes.

Summary: After moving away from the hustle and bustle of Grand Line City to help your father around the property following a horse-riding accident - and in the hopes of healing your broken heart after your asshole ex-fiancé cheated - you settle into the country calmness of the Calm Belt. You and Law (your father's doctor) start to build a flirty friendship because of your father’s procedure. So much so that when he’s invited to Baby 5’s wedding (his cousin), he asks you to be his date. His uncle Doflamingo - who is filthy rich - is very adamant on finding a suitable wife for him. Seeing as he wants to avoid that, he asks you to pretend to be his girlfriend for the weekend.

Notes: There's a bit of NSFW at the end of the chapter (what can I say, Law can't keep his hands to himself!) Seems like Doffy and Ichiji are intent on messing with Law and reader's mind... what do you think?

|Masterlist| | |Chapter 13🔞|

“You may now kiss the bride.” Loud cheers follow the officiant’s words as Sai dips his head to kiss Baby 5. It's strange how you've only just met Baby 5, and now you're tearing up at seeing how happy she looks. 

Dabbing a bit of moisture from the corner of your eye with your knuckle, you turn towards the chairs and lock eyes with Law again. He seems pretty bored with the service, but when he senses your gaze land on him, his eyes soften, filling with warmth. 

Trafalgar Law is incapable of smiling at the end of his cousin's wedding, but one look from you makes the ice melt? What did you do to deserve him?

As the bride and groom walk away from the altar, guests start to rise, ready to meet the couple and congratulate them. Law approaches you with a smile, reaching for your hand. “I missed you.” His voice rings low and inviting, and you immediately blush when his hand slides up your arm and cups your cheek. 

“I was right here, in front of you.”

“But I wasn't touching you.” You giggle and lean into his touch, resting your hands against his chest and letting out a prolonged sigh. “Let me guess, Vinsmoke was an inappropriate bastard?” Law's tone turns from warm to icy in the blink of an eye. 

“Just his usual manipulative crap. But I handled him.” You smirk, tilting your head innocently. “I told him that if he touched me, I’d stab him with the cake knife. It was rather effective.”

Law laughs, a hint of pride in his eyes, then kisses your lips softly. “That’s my girl.” You nearly melt in his embrace before sharing another kiss and finally exit the tent to celebrate the newlyweds. 

You and Law stand a bit apart from the rest of the guests, secluded in your own bubble as he wraps his arms around you from behind. “You know,” he begins, “I can’t wait to take you home.”

“What do you mean? Like, to the room?” You snicker and turn your head to gaze at him. “Because I’m not against sneaking out for a little bit.” You say sultrily, leaning in to give him a small peck.

“Not what I meant, sweetheart, but an interesting proposition.” You chuckle as he bites your lip playfully. “I mean, really get home. Start our ‘something real’ in the real world. Away from… all this.”

You nod at his words, your heart warming a little more in your chest now that he’s actually said you’ll have something serious.

“But it’s not so bad here, is it? I mean, besides your uncle, we’re together in a very romantic setting, if I might add.”

He’s about to answer, a slight furrow of his brow indicating he’s going to share something that’s bothering him, when Baby 5 interrupts you both, calling your name. “I’ve been calling you for photos for a while! All the bridal party is gathering, and you’re the only one missing.” The bride grabs your hand, pulling you along while you hesitate.

“Oh, I don’t think it feels right, Baby 5. I mean, I’m just a fill-in, I don’t want your wedding photos to be ruined.” You try, a dry smile playing on your lips. 

“Nonsense! You're already part of my day, come on, now!” Law releases you from his embrace with a reassuring smile. 

“I'll be here if you need me.” He adds. 

“Law, come on, she's just taking pictures. What will she need you for? In case the boogeyman shows up?” Baby 5 snorts, but Law grunts. 

“He's already here…” He mumbles, but the bride is already halfway to the fountain where the pictures are being taken. 

With a look back at Law and a longing sigh, you fall into place near the other bridesmaids as the photographer starts choreographing the wedding party for some candid shots. Everything is working out well until Ichiji takes advantage of the opportunity created by the photographer’s mixing up the party, and stands by your side. 

“Here we are again, Doll. Are you still mad at me?” He's using that honeyed tone he used when he missed an important anniversary, had to reschedule a date, or, really, whenever he disappointed you. Your heart starts hammering against your chest in that familiar dance as anxiety takes over your senses.

“I never stopped. Now leave me alone.” You can’t help the shakiness in your voice, but you still deliver the words. You try to move away, but the photographer yells, ‘Perfect, now smile!’ So you stay still for the shot, feeling Ichiji's fingers creep around your waist. “Don't touch me!” You mutter, fists trembling as you try to maintain a happy smile. 

Click. ‘Another pose, everyone!’

You move to the other side, but peace doesn't last as Ichiji ends up next to you again. “Can't bygones be bygones? I already said I was sorry for cheating. It's just… nobody compares to you, Doll.” ‘Smiles! Big smiles!’ He leans close to your ear, his hot breath making you shiver in discomfort as you bite the inside of your cheek for grounding. “No one gives me as much joy to break as you.”

Click.

You turn, facing him with fire in your eyes, ignoring the way your heart tries to leap out of your chest. “I'm not the same naive girl I was, Ichiji. I refuse to fall for your manipulations. You are nothing to me now.”

‘Oh, someone's not smiling. Let's give it another shot!’

You seethe, gritting your teeth and forcing a smile, trying to ignore Ichiji's hand searching for yours, sweat dampening your forehead.

“I'm nothing to you now? But I used to be your everything. You can't let go of that so easily.”

‘Much better! Come on, now, mix it up again, goofy poses and we'll be done.’

“You seem like the one who can't let go, Ichiji. You were a mistake, and I've learned my lesson. Leave. Me. Alone.” This time, you stand well away from him. Sugar, already a bit tipsy, swings her arms around you for support, and you lean on her for a fun candid shot. Ichiji stays away. 

Thankfully. 

-*-

“Here, Nephew, I thought you might need a mimosa to help you through this.” Law sighs, his eyes never leaving you as you stand in perfect alignment with the other bridesmaids, a beautiful smile on your face. 

Accepting the drink from Doffy, he takes a sip and grimaces. “There's no orange juice in this mimosa, Uncle.”

Doflamingo chuckles and shrugs innocently. “Oops.” Law doesn't feel like engaging with him anymore, but he can't leave this spot. Vinsmoke seems to be following you around the set, and he's about one more smirk from the redhead away from marching down there. 

“Curious, isn't it, Nephew?” Law doesn't fall for the trap, though he knows very well that not asking won't stop his uncle from talking. “The way she keeps getting angry at him… look at all that… fire.”

Law takes another sip of his orange-free mimosa - champagne - a big one this time, clenching his fist against his leg and trying his hardest to ignore his uncle. 

“I'm happy you trust her, but I don't. I know her kind. She was with Vinsmoke before, and we all know how… likeable he is. So it can't have been for his personality, come on.” Doffy's chuckle turns dark and ominous. 

“Thank you for worrying, but we're fine.” Law's teeth clack together as he sets his jaw, trying to keep himself from grunting. He can feel you're distressed, but you can hold your own. You wouldn't want him to disrupt the wedding. 

“Yes, fine… for now. But look at them, Law, really look at them.” Vinsmoke’s hand is on your waist, and you didn't swat him away, he's leaning toward your ear, whispering something, and the fire in your eyes burns with such intensity he can almost feel the heat from this distance. You don't want him near you, though you’re trying your hardest not to disrupt the photoshoot. 

“Sure, Uncle. All I see is hatred.”

Doflamingo moves to stand directly in Law’s line of sight, making sure Law listens to what he has to say. “Exactly. When you stop caring, you become indifferent, cold, calloused. When you still care, it means you still feel. Hatred is just one small step away from passion.” Doffy takes a long gulp of his ‘mimosa’ and laughs, his eyes glinting as Law finds it harder and harder to shield his own emotions. “And, you know, Law… they both burn with the same intensity.”

-*-

“Thank God, that's over.” You mutter as you approach Law with a smile. “Hey.” His smile seems a bit more strained, but he doesn't shy away from your hug. “Missed me?”

Law chuckles, but a harsh line still remains between his brows, and this time, there's nothing stopping you from smoothing it with your fingertips. 

“What's wrong?” Law's deep sigh is a bit disconcerting, like he's carrying a weight you're not privy to. “You can tell me everything, you know? This trust thing, it's a two-way street…” Your tone seems light, but the intensity in your gaze proves your sincerity. 

“Doffy's been messing with my mind.” A groan vibrates against your neck when he buries his head against it. “Sometimes it's just hard to believe how lucky I am.” He trails a few kisses up your neck, along your jawline and stops a breath away from your lips. “How lucky I was to meet you.”

Threading your fingers through his hair, you close the distance between your mouths. Law pulls you by the waist against him in a consuming kiss. It's passionate, it's intense, it's mind-blowing. Like everything else with Law. When you pull away, he still chases your lips to steal one more touch. 

“We're both lucky, then. Because I'm the happiest I've ever been.” Law's gaze finally softens, and that annoying dip of his forehead disappears. “Please don't let any of your uncle’s words get into your head.”

Law nods, parting the hug and pulling you by the hand towards where the other guests are. “I won't.”

“Promise?” You plant your feet, not budging when he pulls you, so he can look you in the eyes. “You know he has an agenda, Law. He brought my freaking ex into this. He'll try to break us apart, I can feel it.”

“Sweetheart, there's nothing in this world that can take you away from me, got it?” Law gives you a reassuring smile along with a caress on your cheek, but none of it eases the weight in your chest or the feeling of foreboding in his words. 

-*-

The reception is in full swing now. Speeches have been recited, along with plenty of toasts. Food - and drinks - are flowing freely and everyone seems a bit tipsy and cheerful. 

“Can I have a dance with the lady?” A hand hovers in front of your face, and you smile widely. 

“Careful,” Law speaks to you in a hushed tone, a hint of amusement in his eyes. “Cora has two left feet.” You smile at the indignant look on Cora’s face as you take his hand in yours.

“I resent that, Law. When it comes to dancing, I’m very graceful. It’s with everything else that I’m a little bit clumsy.” The two men share a warm smile before Law’s uncle ushers you onto the dance floor, leaving him to stare at you both, which only lasts a couple of seconds as someone approaches him.

“Trafalgar, may I have a word with you?”

Law sighs and closes his eyes as if gathering patience. “Vinsmoke. What do you want?”

“To clear the air between us. It seems a bit… stifling.” Ichiji laughs, taking a sip of his champagne.

“Consider it cleared, then. Thank you for the chat.” Law turns to leave, but Ichiji ignores his attempt to exit and continues speaking. 

“I remember things about her that you most likely haven’t learned yet.” The smirk he shows Law is lecherous, but Law merely clenches his jaw in response. “How she likes to be touched, her scent… the exquisite way she tastes. Unforgettable.”

His words sting. Law doesn’t want to imagine you with anyone else, let alone this creep. But he knows you were intimate with him, obviously, and he also knows Ichiji will thrive if he gets a rise out of him. So Law takes a deep, steadying breath, sipping his drink and watching you glide gracefully in Cora’s arms, a deep smile upon your lips. 

“I had four years with her. I know every shiver, every tremble, every gasp and mewl by heart. It’s not something that can be easily unlearned.” He taunts, his smirk growing wider. 

Law’s throat constricts, and he swallows hard to force out his words. “Interestingly enough, she forgot you just fine.” Law is not going to stoop as low as Ichiji is stooping. But he could remind the jerk that you told him you’d never felt the same way you do for Law towards anyone else. And that includes this bastard. But he doesn’t need to share that knowledge, as long as Law knows it, he’s perfectly fine. “It’s actually impressive, Vinsmoke, that you spent four years with her and still managed to let her slip between your fingers.” Law shrugs nonchalantly. “I guess I should thank you, though. For being an asshole. That way, she saw right through you.”

Ichiji’s smirk falters as he takes a small step back. “Just face it, Trafalgar, you’ll never have what I had with her.”

Law smirks, letting out a cold, detached laugh. “Thank God for that. Why would I want a failed, toxic relationship when I have something so much better?”

That worked well enough to wipe the stupid smirk off his face. “This is not over yet.” Ichiji mumbles.

“Oh, but it is, Vismoke.” This time, it’s Law who leans closer to Ichiji, his taller frame casting an ominous shadow over the redhead. “I’ll say this once, leave her alone or you’ll find out just how protective I can be of what’s mine.” Law’s voice is cold and dangerous, and Ichiji clenches his jaw in response.

Realising he can’t rile Law up, he retreats, mumbling curses under his breath as Law finally relaxes his stiff posture and refocuses his gaze on you. Between Doffy’s manipulations and Ichiji’s devious words, Law begins to think they may have joined forces to disrupt his and your peace. 

-*-

“You really are a great dancer, Cora, you weren’t lying.” You tease the older man with a smile, and he laughs back at you.

“Thank you, thank you.” He sends you for a twirl to emphasise what a great dancer he is, pulling another heartfelt laugh from you. When you’re back in his arms, his smile is still in place. “Truly, thank you.” He nods towards where Law stands and sighs. “It’s been years since I’ve seen him this happy. I’ve seen him at his best and his worst… he’s been through a lot, but just seeing how at ease he is by your side…” Cora’s hand squeezes yours and he lets the rest of the sentence unsaid.

You see Ichiji next to Law, and your stomach churns. “It’s mutual, actually. I’ve been at my worst for a few years… and with Law…” Your smile lights up your whole face. “It’s all so simple with him, familiar even. Like we always knew each other and were just waiting to meet again.” 

Your deep, enamoured sigh makes Cora beam as well. “It’s a wonderful feeling, seeing him this unguarded. We went through some dark times when his parents and sister passed, it was tough on all of us. But as he grew up, he seemed to return to the ease he had as a child. And then…”

Cora inhales deeply, a flicker of pain crossing through his eyes, as if he’s not quite sure whether he should be the one to speak of Law’s heartaches.

“Monet?”

Cora’s nod is almost imperceptible. “It wasn’t just that she abandoned him, I think he would’ve gotten through that. It was the betrayal. She broke his trust. And back then, he placed his trust much more easily than he does now. Doffy thought he was teaching a tough-love lesson to Law, and he did. Except that lesson took its toll and Law stopped trusting people altogether. He built his walls so high it was impossible for anyone to scale them. Even me…”

Your hand grips Cora’s shoulder tighter. You can sense that he must have resented Doflamingo and what he did as well. 

“I honestly thought he would never let anyone get close to him again.” A sad smile plays on Cora’s lips as he looks at you. “Eventually, he let me in again, and some of his walls crumbled, but never long enough for another relationship to blossom. I’m so grateful to you, I truly am.”

For a second, your heart clenches. You and Law have both lied to this wonderful man. He doesn’t know that you started this with a fake relationship. But you’re not faking anything now, so you can’t feel guilty about that, right?

And there’s no way you’ll ever break the trust Law has placed in you. You did the same for him as well: you opened up, baring all your insecurities and shame, and he took you in with open arms and zero judgement. You’re both helping each other heal. 

“Law deserves to be happy. To feel like he can trust and be trusted again. I want to be that person for him.” You can’t help the way your eyes shine as you speak these words, they sound like a vow, a promise, and you know that’s what they truly are.

“I think you already are.” Cora laughs and spins you one last time before the song ends, and he takes you back to Law. 

Law’s forehead is sporting that annoying dip again, and you know his conversation with Ichiji must not have been a pleasant one. 

“Here she is, Law. Safe and sound, no squished toes or sprained ankles.” You laugh alongside Cora, and even Law lets out a chuckle. “Have fun, you two.” Cora waves and retreats back to the party, stumbling over a chair and dragging down a plate of dessert with him. “I’m fine!” He exclaims as Law sighs and you giggle.

“Hi.” He murmurs as he places his hands on your waist and pulls you in for a small peck. “Want to get out of here?” Law’s lips curve into a mischievous smirk that has you chewing your lower lip in anticipation.

“We can’t. It’s too soon.” But heat is already gathering in your core as Law’s hands roam your sides.

“We’ll come back.” The whisper in your ear is sultry and makes promises you know he intends to keep. 

“Ten minutes…” You exclaim, already losing a battle you never intended to win anyway.

“Half an hour, at least.” He groans in your ear, hands tightening on your hips.

“Fifteen minutes?” You gasp when his lips kiss your neck. “Okay, half an hour.”

“You’re easily convinced…” A chuckle escapes your lips as you let him take your hand and guide you into the house. You both pass a few guests on the way but try to look as inconspicuous as ever as you navigate the ground floor. Law pulls you to a dimly lit hallway and opens a tiny door, it’s a small closet with some of the guests’ jackets and purses. 

With one last check of the hallway, he pulls you in and presses you against the wall, his body instantly pinning yours as his lips devour yours with unbridled hunger. His hands tease and grope your nipples and sides, roaming with intent, making you shiver and tremble under his devotion. 

“Couldn't make it to the room?” You whisper between bated breaths, and he chuckles, his lips pressed against your neck.

“Sweetheart, if I took you to our room, we wouldn’t return to the party tonight. And my cousin will be very disappointed if we’re not here for the slicing of the cake.” Law’s fingers curl the fabric of your dress, pulling it up and settling on your thighs. As his fingers catch on the lace of your panties, he groans, and you sigh. Law immediately catches your mouth in his, his other hand tangles your hair, and he tugs softly to deepen the kiss. The fire burning between your legs feels like molten lava coursing through your veins.

“Law…” You mumble when he breaks the kiss to nibble at your jawline.

“Sweetheart, you’re going to have to be very quiet. Because no one can see us here, but they can hear us.” His lips trail a path down your neck and over your collarbone. One of his hands returns to tease your nipple while the other plays with the hem of your panties. “Can you do that?”

“Depends.” You let out a breathy whisper. 

“On what?”

“On what you plan on doing to me.” Then you have to bite your lip to stifle a mewl as Law’s finger plunges inside your slit, finding you already dripping wet. He groans into your ear, his body pressed against yours only adds stimulation to the ungodly things his fingers are doing inside you. 

“Oh, I have very mischievous plans for you.” A small whimper escapes your lips as he circles your clit with his thumb. “Don’t make a sound, sweetheart.”

But that’s easier said than done. He eases another finger inside, but his rhythm is insanely slow. He circles your clit in tortuous motions, and just as pleasure is mounting up, the smallest of mewls leaves your lips and he stops, mouth hovering over yours. “Not a sound.” You move your hips against his hand in a silent plea for more, for him to finish what he started, and he returns his ministrations. Slowly, languorously, lazily. He’s driving you insane.

“More, Law, please.” You mumble, feeling your legs already trembling and the intense coil of desire ready to snap. 

“If you want more, you need to take it in silence.” His fingers flick your nipple, and you stifle another moan while you nod vigorously. “Eyes on me, sweetheart. If I’m not going to hear you scream, I need to see you fall apart.”

His fingers plunge deeper and faster, the pressure on your clit maddening as your breaths come in shallow, nearly silent gasps. Focusing your eyes on his, you can see the amber in them shining as he takes you in. Your legs tremble relentlessly, and you know you won’t be able to stay silent, not when the pleasure is overwhelming you, crashing with waves of bliss. So Law takes your lips in his and rides your orgasm with you in a shattering kiss, muffling your moans and swallowing your screams. 

When he pulls back and removes his fingers, you’re panting, small beads of sweat dampening your skin as Law smirks at you. “That’s my good girl.” His hand tilts your chin upwards so you meet his gaze again. “Think you can keep that up?” His tone hides a dare, and you don’t quite get what he means until he starts unbuckling his belt, his hand reaching into his pocket for a condom. 

A slight flush creeps into your cheeks as you nod. “I can be quiet.” He grins, getting ready and aligning himself with your entry while a hand wraps under your thigh, elevating it to create an angle. 

“Not a sound, sweetheart.” His whisper against your ear sends a shiver down your spine, anticipation making you tingle as you grasp his shoulders for purchase. His other hand holds your hip steady as he pushes himself inside you, slowly, inch by inch. Your head falls back in abandon as you trap an earth-shattering moan behind closed lips. “You take me so well, you feel so good.”

Law’s grip is firm and possessive as he thrusts with intent. He doesn’t want to keep you on edge this time, he knows there’s every chance of both of you getting caught, so he’s searching to fulfil your pleasure and his with effectiveness. “You’re clenching me so hard, sweetheart. Are you close again?”

You try to answer him, but a whimper comes out instead, and he groans. “I love that you can’t help but make noises for me.” Law’s control is also slipping, he clenches his jaw, brow furrowed tightly as his thrusts become relentless. “Almost there?”

A nod is your answer as your nails dig into his chest, gripping the lapels and trying to ground you on firm reality. “Fuck.” Law lets out just as a wanton moan begins to crescendo on your lips. He silences you with another kiss as the both of you swallow each other’s broken noises, ones you can’t seem to keep quiet as you fall apart and pleasure overwhelms you, overriding all sense of decorum. 

The tremors of the aftershock still course through you, making you shiver as Law pulls back, breathless and grinning at you. “You did so well, sweetheart.” He kisses you and caresses your cheek with his thumb as he composes his pants and helps you straighten your dress and hair. 

You open your mouth and instantly close it. Almost. It was just there. Three words. I love you. You almost said it.

“That was incredible, Law.” These words are safer. These words don’t bring uncertainty or disappointment if he doesn’t feel the same. So you stick with them. “Do you think anyone noticed our absence?” You’re still trying to catch your breath as your emotions rage war inside you.

“In the middle of so many guests? Maybe just my uncle…” You cringe, Doffy is the last person you want to have noticed you slip away. “I’ll go ahead and head to the bathroom, we’ll meet up at the reception, how about that?” You nod, you’re composed enough, Law helped you. The only thing that might give you away is the slight flush of your cheeks or the silly grin you can’t seem to erase. Law kisses your nose in an affectionate manner and opens the closet door. “See you soon.”

You wait another minute while untangling your hair and, with a deep inhale, you exit the closet, heading down the hall towards the garden. 

“Cariño, having fun?”

Shit.

Tag List:@rosidaze @beachaddict48 @armiliadawn @jintaka-hane @sprinkklz @baby5555 @hopelesslover06 @mars-mizuko @sleepykittycx @nerium-lil @eustasscapitankid @ren-ni @jqperi @lycoriskalmia @rainbow2312 @alexturnersgirl

[moonlightndaydreams]

Limbo - part 9

MDNI / smut

Pairing: Lee Minho x fem reader x Han Jisung

part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4 / part 5 / part 6 / part 7 / part 8 / part 9 / part 10 (final)

Synopsis: Lee Minho is the mysterious new accountant at your workplace, and he seems to have his sights set on you. But things aren't so simple when your ex boyfriend Han comes back into the picture. Can you and Minho make it work, or will you get back with Han?

Spoiler: Happy ending, eventual poly minsung.

Taglist: open.

Chapter Summary: We see a snippet from Minho's perspective. Everything comes to a head and we have some revelations.

CW: m x m kissing, hurt (but it turns out ok).

-----------------------------

Minho pov...

“You’ve been avoiding me, and now I know why!” Han sneered. Anger burned in his eyes as he glared at Minho.

“I don’t know what you think you’re doing, Minho. I get it, you say you don’t want me, even though you string me along anyway, telling me it’s friendship. But I see the way you look at me. It’s not fair of you, but I can live with it. But Y/n? She deserves better than what you’ve done to her? Fucking her and then giving her no explanation as to why you ended things like you did? Do you know what she thinks?” His voice was full of bitterness.

Minho finally met Han’s eyes which he had been avoiding ever since Han stormed into his office.

“She thinks you hate her.”

“That’s not true.” Minho’s choked, his eyes full of despair.

“Then what is it?” Han growled, grabbing him by the collar and shoving him against wall.

“It was inappropriate to date your ex.” Minho winced, “Han, it would’ve made things…strained… between you and me. I broke it off as soon as I found out. Besides, I thought that maybe you two would probably get back together.” Minho lowered his head feeling ashamed.

This was not how Minho wanted things to turn out. He didn't want to be the bad guy. All he wanted was to protect the people he cared about, the people he’d fallen in love with. He thought distancing himself would be the right thing to do, but now Minho had to finally deal with the mess he’d caused.

Han was right. Minho had strung him along. He hadn’t meant to. He wasn’t supposed to fall in love with the messed up, broken boy that had come into his life.

Fuck, how he had to control his feelings when Han had shown his interest in him. But it would have been wrong to allow him to get close to him like that. He was his mentor for fuck’s sake, it would have been taking advantage of him.

But he couldn’t not see him either. Under the guise of wanting to be just Han’s friend, Minho could continue to selfishly be in Han’s world long after their program ended.

Oh how he would often wish that someone would come along that would catch his attention so he could get over him. That there’d be someone else out there for him.

And then he started is new job and met you. A welcome distraction. A new beginning. Minho was hopeful that you would be the person that he could have a future with. He could see it in his mind’s eye. He really could.

What were the chances that you were Han’s ex girlfriend?

And now you were gone too. He’d managed to fuck that up before it even properly began.

All he wanted to do was get over Han, and now he had to get over you both.

Han gripped Minho’s jaw, holding it so he couldn’t look away. “She’s such an incredible woman. You two could have made each other happy. There was no reason you couldn’t have made it work, even if you knew she was my ex.” He whispered.

Minho stared into Han’s heartbroken eyes. “Hannie,” Han released Minho, dropping his hands to his sides. Minho, without thinking reached up and cupped his cheek. “I broke it off with her… and I’ve been avoiding you because… fuck,” Minho sighed. “I’m fucking in love with you both.”

Han made to take a step back, but Minho held him in place, still cupping his cheek. His thumb traced over his trembling bottom lip, and then he leaned in connecting his lips with Han’s and taking him in a soft kiss.

Minho was sure Han would pull away and punch him in the face, but instead he started to kiss him back. He even parted his lips allowing Minho to gently deepen the kiss. He spun Han around and gently pushed his back against the wall and pressed his body against him. He was relieved when Han moaned against his mouth and pulled Minho even closer.

This was wrong. Kissing Han was only going to complicate things further. But he couldn’t stop. Who knew if once this was over he would ever be able to be close to him again? The way Han was responding to him made Minho's cock hard as stone, and his heart soften and melt. He wanted to remember the feeling, the taste, of his lips forever. He wanted to remember the sound of his little, desperate whimpers when Minho tried to pull away, even if it was only to catch his breath.

He ran his hands down the side of Han's body. Would he let him rub his hand over his hardness? Minho was dying to feel him. Wanted to unzip his jeans and drop to his knees. Would Han let him? But at the same time he didn't want to break the kiss. It was like their lips were made for each other, slotting together perfectly, effortlessly. Their tongues danced together tenderly until, when Minho's palm finally brushed over his cock, Han seemed to lose any sense of composure. His kisses became messy and sloppy. His hands roamed Minho's body until they firmly attached themselves to his ass. He managed to wedge Minho's leg between his own, grinding against his hand and thigh. Minho couldn't help but wonder what kind of mess Han would be if he was able to do all the things he dreamed of doing to him.

His hands went to the button on his jeans, he had to taste him. He simply had to.

But Han pulled away. Minho blinked rapidly, confused, and gulped hard. Shit. He's fucked this up. He thought to himself. He searched Han's eyes trying to read him.

"Do you really love us both?" he whispered. His eyes were so innocent, so hopeful, so vulnerable. It was a look that Minho hadn't seen in a long time, back when Han had hit rock bottom and Minho promised he'd help him get better. Minho would never forget how Han had looked at him when he said he'd help him with his recovery.

A tear spilled down Han's cheek and Minho swiped it away. "Of course I fucking do." he chuckled and leaned his forehead against his.

"And you love Y/n too? Both of us?" he squeaked.

"Yeah. I do." he whispered.

Han's eyes widened until they were as big as saucers, and Minho realized the sheer absurdity at what he was admitting. How fucking selfish was he to want you both?

He stepped back abruptly and ran his hand through his hair. "I'm so fucking sorry, Han. I'm so messed up. I'm just making things worse. How can I expect-"

"I still love her too." Han broke Minho's spiraling rant with a calm and certain tone. "But I think that ship's sailed. I fucked up my chance with her long ago. But you? You can make things right with her. Just be honest about it. Tell her why you reacted the way you did."

"I-I can't." Minho cried. Han took a step towards him.

"Sure you ca-"

"I just can't, okay." Minho growled and stormed out his office, leaving Han behind. He knew he'd probably hurt Han's feelings, made him feel rejected. Fuck, Minho why do you keep giving mixed signals? Why do you keep fucking everything up?

-------------------------------

You entered the cozy restaurant and snapped your dripping umbrella closed and left it in the bucket by the front door. You were grateful to be out of the rain. It was definitely not the kind of weather you wanted to be out and about in, but Han had said Mina wanted you to come to dinner with them, to say thank you for your support with their mum.

You followed the waiter as he ushered you through to a table in the back corner of the crowded restaurant. You were nervous about seeing Han again. You hadn’t seen him since you’d slept together, although you had been texting. Things had seemed good between you in the written form, but you had no idea how you were going to feel face to face.

“Here you are.” The waiter said, gesturing to the table in the corner. You stopped dead in your tracks. Han was already seated, but next to him, backed turned to you, was not Mina at all. It was… you walked around the table…Minho.

So far you had successfully avoided him since returning to work. Actually, you’d only ever left your office to use the bathroom because, quite frankly, you didn’t want to see anyone who might have heard that audio of you having sex.

Your eyes widened at the situation before you. Han looked up at you hopefully, but all you could do was shake your head ready to walk straight out of there.

Minho was just as surprised at seeing you as you were of him. He glanced at Han confused and then angrily up at you, then stood as if to leave too.

“Y/n, Minho… please…” Han stood up and gestured for you both to sit.

Tears welled up in your eyes. He had tricked you. Half of you wanted to run away, the other half wanted to hear him out. What was going on? Why did he ask you here? Why was Minho here?

You lowered yourself into the chair, and poured a glass of water from the jug on the table. Minho hesitated a moment longer before he also sat himself back down. An awkward tension brewed as you waited for Han to speak.

“Look. I know I lied to you both to get you to come here. I’m sorry.” He paused. “Actually, no I’m not sorry at all.” His voice turned assertive and he furrowed his brows.

Both you and Minho sat in silence and waited for him to continue.

“Minho,” Minho looked to Han confused. “Tell her why you broke it off. She deserves to know the truth.” He insisted.

Minho opened his mouth with a horrified look, “What? Hannie? I can’t.” he shook his head. You had never seen him look so…scared.

“Minho,” your voice was soft and soothing, but inside you were scared too. You wanted an explanation, you really did. But you had resigned yourself to the fact Minho was a closed book. He was never going to tell you the truth. What was he going to tell you? “Please…” you urged.

Minho paused for what felt like an eternity, then cleared his throat. “Y/n. When you and I met, I didn’t know you and Han were - used to be - together.” He started nervously. He looked between the two of you. “Then, when I found out, I thought it would be for the best if I kept my distance.”

“You could have just told me. Instead you made me think you hated me.” You said solemnly.

Minho nodded. “I know I should have been up front…but…there’s more.” His eyes darted to Han and then to you.

“Go on.” Han encouraged him.

“I can’t.” Minho squeezed his eyes shut as though he was willing himself to disappear.

“Please, Minho. Please just tell me.” You whispered. He looked so distressed at what he was about to say.

“I had…have…feelings for Han.” He dropped his head as if waiting for you to explode in anger.

Instead you stared at him for a long moment, taking in what he'd just said. It wasn't what you expected to hear at all. He broke it off because he has feelings for-

“Hannie!” You turned your attention to your ex. Your mind was buzzing with a million thoughts. So many conflicting feelings raced through your body. On one hand you were heartbroken that Minho left you. You’d felt like you’d been kicked in the guts. But you wanted Han to be happy. Maybe Han and Minho could find a way to be together after all.

“So are you two together now? Wait.” You paused as a revelation hit you. “Han? Did you bring me here to give you both some kind of blessing or something? Because, honestly, I’m fine. I really am. You two would look amazing together. It’s really… wonderful. It’s amazing.” Your voice became more forced and shrill the more you spoke. Your skin burned. Tears threatened to spill from your eyes, and you felt like you were going to vomit. You were happy for them. You really were. But it hurt. It hurt to be a rebound. It hurt to be rejected.

You didn’t feel like you were in your body as you walked out of the restaurant. You didn’t pick up your umbrella. You didn’t care that the rain was pouring down outside. You didn’t get into your car. You just kept walking up the street. Your hair and clothes drenched. Your makeup running. You barely heard the voices calling after you, getting closer.

“Y/n, please. Wait.” Minho stepped in front of you stopping you by grasping your wrists and pulling you under the awning of a Thai restaurant for shelter.

“You have my blessing, I told you!” You wailed, trying to free yourself from his grip.

“I hadn’t finished, Y/n!” He growled gripping your wrists tighter, and you fell silent. His hair was sopping wet, droplets of water ran down his beautiful face.

“I can’t just be with Han when I’m fucking in love with you too.”

You stood frozen. He was in love with you? He was in love with Han? He was in love with both of you?

You shook your head. “So what are you saying? You want to date us both?” You said sarcastically.

“I hope that’s what he’s saying.” A voice behind you interrupted. You turned to see Han, also soaking wet, and panting from running to catch up. He took both Minho’s and your hands in his. “Y/n,” He started. “Maybe Minho can have us both?” He said hopefully and shrugged.

You turned back to Minho. Was that really an option? Could you and Han really both date him? Could it really work? How would it work? What would that mean for you and Han? Things were complicated. What if this fucked everything up even more?

“I slept with Han.” You blurted out. “After you started ignoring me.” You regretted saying it as soon as it left your lips. “I’m so sorry Han…. I shouldn’t have said that.” You hand flung to cover your mouth.

Minho pulled your hand away and his mouth was on yours. He kissed you like he never wanted to let you go. At first you wanted to push him away, tell him to fuck off. But then a burning heat coursed through your veins and you found yourself melting against him. You'd missed him more than you knew. You kissed him back, finding his tongue, communicating with him how much you missed him, how much you needed him. You didn’t know what you were doing, or what was going to happen after this, but for now you held onto this moment for as long as you could.

Minho eventually peeled away only to take Han in an equally heated kiss. Han still had one hand holding yours, squeezing it as his other snaked around Minho’s waist while Minho held Han’s face in his hands as their mouths explored each other. Their perfect lips connecting in the most beautiful, passionate way.

Up until this moment you had thought sex with Minho was the most erotic thing you'd experienced, but that paled in comparison to watching the two men in front of you. It stirred something inside of you. Curiosity. But there was something else. It was love. A love for both of them. You wanted them both too.

But did Han want you?

They eventually pulled themselves away from each other, and gazed into each other’s eyes like reunited lovers who'd spent months apart.

“Han?” He turned to face you. You took both his hands in yours. “If you’re not one hundred percent okay with this, I won’t do it. But if you are…” your concern turned into a smile and Han smiled too. It had been so long since he smiled like this, like in the photos hidden in your drawer. It was a smile you'd missed and it lit up your heart.

Then you did something you didn’t expect. You kissed him. Not a hungry, wild kiss. Just a small, careful, hopeful kiss. You hoped he still wanted you. “I’m one hundred percent okay with this.” He whispered and grinned against your mouth.

Minho cleared his throat. “So, um... kittens, I think maybe we should get out of the rain. Maybe go back to-"

“Let’s go back to my house.” You offered. “I’ll make coffees, we can get some takeaway dinner, and maybe we can talk more about how we’re going to do this throuple thing, yeah?”

The three of you giggled as you made your way back to your car, not caring at all that the rained continued to pour down. Right now nothing else in the world mattered.

a/n: So.... the burning question... Do you want a poly minsung threesome? Not sure why I'm asking this as I'm pretty sure I know the answer - hahaha.

@channieandhisgoonsquad @noellllslut @itsseohannbin @chansbabyg @weareapackofstrays @xxkissesforchanniexx @starr-lvst @queen-in-the-shadows @newhope8 @vanillacupcakefrosting @3rachasdomesticbanana @fun-fanfics @palindrome969 @rhonnie23 @jisunglyricist @strayywayy @rixenluv @yaorzu-blog @drunkewok @igetcarriedawaywithyou @minh0scat @kiaralynn3838 @everythingboutkpop @jiminssluttyminx @n0y4 @chuuyaobsessed @krayzieestay

[hexcii]

HIIIIIIIII I READ ALL OF THE CHAPTERS YESTERDAY AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH😸😸IM LITERALLY GIGGLING AND KICKING MY FEET OVER IT

i literally could not focus in third period today because of it

anway, a few questions:

have the faes actually like fell in love with the witch? or are they just sort of developing a crush by chapter 4?

when did they start falling? was it the moment they saw the witch? or was it over time?

do they even realize they’re startin to fall for them?

how often do they watch the witch? cause’ theres no way they just happened to guess when they(the witch) were out and performing that ritual (in a farm that the witch literally never went)

how does “attractiveness” work in the fae-world? do they discriminate against humanXfae? what is deemed attractive to them both lookwise and personality? do they not care about looks?

do they find humans beautiful? cause’ i think i remember faeries being incredibly beautiful, so are humans the same way to them?

OH WOW ALL OF THEM? :OOOO

EEEEE SO HAPPY YOU LIKE IT!!!!! <33333

Oki oki question time

1-3. They started falling in love with Y/N after the first time they actually talked to them, so chapter two! At that point it was very small but by the end of chapter three it has developed into a crush and they’re sort of aware of it. By the end of chapter four they’re both very aware of their feelings towards the witch and their crush is now bordering on full on love. These faeries fall fast!

4. They watch Y/N pretty often, they followed them everyday for a week after they first stepped into their ring because Sun and Moon wanted to mess with them but now they do it more out of curiosity than anything. (They absolutely followed Y/N all the way to the field-)

5. If by attractiveness you mean what makes a faerie attractive to other faeries, then that would be their fur and claws. I’ve gone into the fur part a bit before but the claws are a way to show that they can protect and provide for themselves and give safety to others. Humans and faeries getting together isn’t common, but it’s not unheard of. In general, most fae don’t care about what others get up to in their personal lives but they might be a little curious and confused about a faerie trying to court a human, and what each faerie finds attractive depends on the individual.

6. Faeries generally view humans as people they can play tricks on, a little bit like playthings, so they tend not to care about whether or not a human is beautiful to them. Some think they look a little strange since they’re similar to fae but with some very clear differences, while others think humans are really cute. As for Sun and Moon, they think most humans look a little bit silly given the differences between their species. But their witch?

Oh, they both think they’re beautiful

(Also pls ignore any typos I’m writing this kinda late so I might’ve missed something-)

[mayrose713]

Beautifully Cruel World-Chapter 2

Series Masterlist | Previous | Next

ABO Non-Idol Stray Kids Universe Poly OT8 x Reader 18+ MDNI

Warnings in the Series Masterlist as well as any other information needed

I am posting this from my phone at work so I hope everything works. But I hope you all enjoy

Chapter 2

The car ride has been silent so far. Chan’s driving, Jisungs in the passenger seat while Felix and Y/n are in the backseat. Y/n watches out the window as they drive into a small town. She notices a sign that says “Welcome to Stayville”. 

Jisungs typing away at his phone, most likely texting the rest of the pack about the omega they are bringing back. Chan looks back at Y/n in the mirror seeing she’s not paying attention to anyone else in the car and looks to Jisung motioning to his wrist. Jisung understood what Chan meant, asking if he messaged them about the bruising on Y/n’s wrist. Jisung nods as the group chat blows up about setting things up for her. A few of the other pack members are skeptical though and aren’t happy about having an outsider in the house, even if it is just temporary. 

Felix and Chan have both noticed that even though they are able to smell her and know she’s an omega, her scent is very subtle. At least not as strong as how an omegas scent should be. If it weren’t for her having been upset Chan probably wouldn’t have even smelled that there was an omega around in that park. Why the two beta’s didn’t notice it right away until Chan had stopped since he was the one being observant of the area. But what he’s confused about is how it seemed they were the only 3 in the park that had been able to smell her. And her questioning how they could makes him have a lot more questions and concerns for the omega.

“How many do you have in your pack?” Y/n finally speaks up, turning to the boys. 

“There’s 8 of us all together.” Chan looks at her in the mirror. 

“We have 4 alphas and 4 betas.” Felix speaks excitedly. “We also kind of help take care of the town.”

Chan pulls onto a dirt road off the main road of the town that is surrounded by woods. If you didn’t know it was there you probably would have missed it. 

“When we get home, Jisung can you check and make sure Minho is ready for her?” Chan tells the older beta. “And Felix, please set up the empty bedroom between Changbin’s and Jisung’s room.”

“Really?” Felix’s eyes light up. 

“Are you sure hyung?” Jisung looked a bit happy but also concerned by the room arrangement. 

Chan nods his head as he pulls up to a large house and parks the car next to four other cars. “I’m certain.” 

Jisung nods and he and Felix both get out and head into the house first. Chan chuckles at the two before looking back at the omega who’s ogling the house in front of her. 

“This is your home?” 

“Yeah, all 8 of us live here together.” Chan gives her a smile. “We all have our own rooms plus a few extra for guests.”

“Do you all work to afford this?” She’s still shocked by the size of the house and notices that behind the house is a large field that looks like it leads to a cliff and the ocean.

“Mostly it’s just Changbin and I who work. We run a multi billion company in the city. And Minho is a dance teacher at a studio not far from our office too. ” He chuckles. “Seungmin technically also works but he really only just coaches a little league baseball team for fun and not for the money. Everyone else just volunteers around the town and for the community center.” 

The girl nods in shock, she can’t believe how well off the pack is with how young they are. 

Chan gets out of the car and opens the back door for her and crouches down for her to get on his back. “You really don’t have to carry me.” 

“Just get on my back, Y/n.” She sighs but listens, letting him take a hold of her legs around his waist and wraps her arms around his neck.

As he carries her to the front porch she notices the mated bite marks on his neck. Four bites on one side and three on the other. 

“Minho’s ready for her in the big bathroom.” A beta says who’s leaning in the doorway with his arms crossed, seeming not too pleased by the whole situation. 

“Thanks Hyunjin.” Chan sets Y/n on her feet once they are in the house before placing a hand on the small of her back leading her through the house towards what she assumes is the big bathroom. 

Another alpha looks up at them through the mirror as Chan and Y/n walk into a large bathroom just off of the living room. 

“Place her on the counter.” The alpha says bluntly as he finishes setting up a few different items from a first aid kit causing the omega to tense up.

“This is Minho, he’s just gonna check your bruised wrist and treat any other wounds you have. You’re in good hands Y/n, he’ll take great care of you.” He grabs her hips and lifts her to sit on the counter next to where Minho has everything set up. “I’m gonna go help Felix.” He then turns to the alpha. “Bring her upstairs when you guys are done.” 

Minho nods and Chan gives Y/n a reassuring smile before leaving and closing the door behind him. 

Minho looks the girl over, he can’t help but observe how she’s wearing leggings and a quarter sleeve shirt even though it’s the middle of summer during a heatwave. Her bare feet are dirty and he notices that even though her hair doesn’t look bad, it hasn’t been washed in a few days at least. 

“Give me your wrist.” He holds out his hand to her and she places her good wrist in his hand and he looks at her unamused. She sighs before switching wrists and he starts to examine it. “Do you want to tell me how this happened?”

“Do you actually care?” 

Minho gives her a firm look but she feels as though there's a hint of sadness to it too. He continues to examine her wrist, the bruise being mostly purple with a hint of blue to it. She hisses a little when he grips it too hard.

“Luckily it’s not broken, mostly just bruised but possibly sprained.” He grabs a bruise relief cream and starts rubbing it into her skin. “Do you have any other wounds?” 

“No” She shakes her head but doesn’t make eye contact with him.

“Why don’t I believe you?”

“Maybe you have trust issues.” She shrugs her shoulders before panicking as he pushes her sleeve up showing more bruising on her upper arm and a large gash. “Stop that.”

He grabs her other hand that she tries to push him away with and gives her a hard look. “I’m gonna ask one last time and I want the truth omega. Tell me how’d this happen and do you have any more wounds?” Y/n slump her shoulders and give him a sad look. “And don’t think I didn’t notice the wince you had when Chan grabbed your hips to place you on the counter. You might have been able to hide it well enough from him but not me.”

“I fell down a flight of concrete stairs.” She rests her other hand down letting him do what he needs to with the gash on her arm. “My hip is also bruised and theres a chance my ribs are fucked up.”

“You fell?” He furrows his brows while cleaning the gash. “Are you just that clumsy or were you pushed?”

With a shrug of her shoulders gave the alpha the answer he needed, sighing and applying ointment then bandages the wound on her upper arm. 

“Take your shirt and leggings off.”

“Take me on a date first.” Minho lets out a soft chuckle. 

“I need to see how bad your hip and ribs are.” He grabs the hymn of her shirt and waits for any sign of her being uncomfortable or her protesting. “We can discuss taking you on a date later.”

When she doesn’t do anything, he can’t help but smile a bit at how flustered she seems from his comment. He lifts her shirt and she helps him take it off, taking in a sharp breath when he sees the large bruising on her side, starting from under bra and going all the way down past her waistband. 

“Fuck.” The alpha growls, angry that this poor omega has gone through so much, wanting to understand more of how this happened but knows that at least for now she’s not going to admit anything. “I’m gonna pull your leggings down a bit, not all the way, just enough to see what I’m working with.”

The alpha moves the top of her leggings down a bit just to see how the bruising reaches all the way to the top of her thigh, being careful not to reveal too much, keeping her comfortability a top priority. He notices some raised lines of scarring littering her hip and his eyes sadden. 

“It might be best to take you to see a doctor, see if your ribs are broken.” His eyes fill with concern as he grabs a roll of wrap bandages, “For now I’m gonna wrap this around your torso to hopefully ease some of the pain in your ribs.”

“Please don’t take me to a doctor.” Y/n chokes out a little as he’s wrapping the bandages around her. “None of them know how to properly treat an omega.”

“We know a doctor that does. It’s the only one Channie hyung trusts to take Felix and Jisung to. In case you haven’t noticed, the two betas can be a bit omega-like.” He focuses on making sure the bandage is tight enough but not too tight to be painful. “It was one his father had found to take his omega brother to when they were kids. He also makes sure Jeongin’s omega brother goes there as well as Felix’s sister when they are needing any sort of treatment.”

The omega nods, feeling a bit more at ease about it. She winces a little as he ties off the bandage and he gives a soft apology. He grabs her shirt to help her put it back on but frowns as he notices how dirty it is, not having noticed the dirt on her clothes before. 

“I’m gonna go get you a new change of clothes.” He then grabs a washcloth from the linen shelf and hands it to her. “Why don’t you clean up a little bit, I’ll be right back.”

The alpha leaves her alone and she slides off the counter, wetting the cloth under the faucet before wiping her face and neck a bit. When she hears a knock on the door she tells Minho to come in and he does, holding a pair of womens sweatpants and a shirt.

“Chan’s little sister comes and visits a lot from Australia.” He explains after noticing her confused look at the clothes. “She basically has her own room here and leaves some clothes here every time so she can pack light. Though she's quite a bit taller than you so the clothes might be a tad long on you.”

Y/n nods in understanding taking the clothes from him. “Will I be staying in her room then?”

“No, her room is down here on the first floor. Has a sliding door to the outside so she can come and go as she pleases without disturbing everyone when she’s here.” He opens the door again to give her privacy. “All of our guest rooms are on the first floor.”

He leaves the bathroom at that, leaving the omega confused. If all of the guest rooms are on the first floor then why did Chan tell Felix to set up the empty room between Changbin’s and Jisung’s rooms? Was he just wanting her closer to the pack in case she needed something? Or was he afraid she might try to flee during the night while they were all asleep?

Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list for this series

Tag list: @estella-novella @mbioooo0000 @ms-flowergirl @blindspot143 @sinfulfic 

[missmarveledsblog]

Hand on Heart ( jake seresin x singlemom! reader )

CHAPTER TWO

Summary: the first week come and goes as she meets more members of the dagger squad except of the mystery hangman til she and belle are invited showing the blonde that she wasnt just a mom and the blonde starts rethinking his no moms policy

warning : fluffy fluff

previous chapter

The week was standard enough  belle went to daycare each day was longer than the one before which meant y/n got more and more of the house unpacked and even invited nat over for lunch  a couple of times , well she invited the others but the woman said they couldn’t make it leaving out the part she threatened them not to come over .   then she also met them again at same fast food place this time it was two new faces she learned was coyote and payback apparently the elusive hangman was on a date  one of many from what she gathered he sound like a bit of a playboy of sorts  . then saturday she and belle was invited to the beach with the gang . now she was spending the morning baking away because well her grandmother taught her better than to show up empty handed . nat did tell her guys played some weird kind of football but she was happy to sit with nat and belle to sandcastle or play in the water. 

The dagger squad  where setting up their things while nat and rooster laying down some bucket and stuff as well as beach umbrella into the sand completely perplexing jake seresin who was checking out the beach babe beauties .  

“ what are y’all doing?” . 

“ setting up space for belle so it not too hot obviously “ rooster rolled his eyes. 

“ oh so mommy and me is coming today?” he teased . 

“ hey she actually cool chick , she gave me tips on how to fix my car “ javy smiled . 

“ well i’m sure shes a peach but moms are messy “ he shrugged. 

“ actually not too messy we carry wet wipe all time but thanks for the observation cowboy” the voice called as he turned . 

“ ignore him, hey look we set up a belle  patch …  we kinda went overboard “ nat wince looking around at the toys on the ground . 

“  wow you did but y’all didn’t have to, thank you ,   i brought cookies and cupcakes “ she held the bag up . 

“ you must be bagman  “ she turned to the blonde .

“ it’s Hangman or Jake and you must be the mom i’ve been hearing about ?” he smiled, maybe the mom thing wasn’t too bag after all . 

“ Well cowboy don’t worry about this mom you're not my type so you're safe “ she  shook his hand before seeing belle already running towards rooster excitedly falling in the sand a couple of times before changing her mind and going to nat instead much to the man's disappointment. 

“ told you she’s too smart for you guys  seems like so is belle “ nat cheered and she twirled with the toddler in her arms . 

“ I didn't mean offense by the way ?” Jake called. 

“ none taken seriously don’t worry about it i ain’t gonna cry because a life size ken doll doesn’t like me that way, i ain’t looking for love either  “ she snorted as the others laughed.  “ now that out of the way would ya like a cookie or a cupcake “ she opened the boxes already knowing which one belle was after handing her a cupcake as she sat near  rooster who chose the same as well as a cookie. 

“ shit these are so good “ fanboy groaned . 

“ language around the baby” rooster hissed as  he covered her ears . 

“  i’m glad you like em , my grandmother would roll in her grave if she knew i showed up empty handed “ she chuckled taking her own out  sitting on towel  . “ so y’all playing football thing ?” she asked . 

“ yeah if you wanna play i can sit here with belle “ rooster offered only for jake to snort . 

“ i think i might “ she narrowed her eyes  at the blonde . “ how do you play “ she whispered to nat . 

“ you sure you wanna do this , i mean it not some pta thing or playing with blocks ” jake teased. 

“  i grew up with boy cousins and two  brothers  who didn’t see gender roles in their rough play ,i can take you on anytime cowboy ken” she crouched . “ plus ain’t size of dog it the fight of it “ she winked as Mav blew the whistle just as fanboy threw her the ball jake barrelled towards her she was veering to the left watching him  easily already heading that way before skimming the blonde and hitting right to throw the ball to payback who then score just as jake hit the sand . “ need a wet wipe “she chuckled holding her hand out for him to take . 

“ lucky first shot is  all “ he took her hand going to pull her down with him but she pulled her hand back making him fall back again . 

“Oldest trick in the book tic tac toe“ she stuck her tongue out as jake laughed. 

“ ok come on we get her this time “ was probably javy’s favorite sentence of the game til she with help of payback and fanboy scored the winning goal . before she heading over to  nat who looked happy with the sleeping toddler on her chest .  as she took her her shorts and tshirt off to lay on the sand an let the heat hit her skin as well as the fact her clothes where drench in sweat from the game what she didn’t see was the guys reaction to the show and had jake really rethinking his whole deal on single moms . while two sit on sand talking away while guys played couple of games . 

“ we’re heading hard deck soon for lunch ,  penny got some juice and things for little miss there when your ready join us “ Mav smiled . 

“ oh thank you  isn’t the hard deck a bar though ?” she asked sort of wide eye .

“ we have lunch the weekends before she opens  “ nat reassured her . 

“ ok well i better take her off of you get her into her carseat” she went to grab her only for nat to stand belle still sleeping soundly . 

“ it’s a two minute walk from here literally across the car park “ she walked ahead.  

“ ok i’ll just grab a clean shirt out of my car “ she snorted as the guys helped her pack up her stuff . 

“ amelia will probably offer her babysitting services  just to warn you and penny’s been dying to meet belle” Mav  smiled carrying her bag to the guys disappointment .  

“ y’all are very welcoming out here “  her eyes watching rooster talking to a now confused and dazed  belle slight reminding her of her brothers  in away making her miss them . 

“ so you said you have brothers?” Mav asked. 

“ two big ones  , both in navy funny enough , one is stationed in texas and another is deployed “ she smiled softly .

“ are you guys close ?” he asked . 

“ very  i mean  we had other family but it was mainly three of us with our grandparents then my grandfather passed away when i was 13 so our grandma raise us “ she smiled sadly. 

“ your parents ?” mav asked. 

“ Well not really parents got their own things going on i guess but we didn’t miss out on anything our grandma was a saint , sometimes  slightly scary woman “ she chuckled. 

“ sorry that was probably over the line asking “ he winced . 

“ nah it’s ok  i ain’t shamed of my upbringing  actually proud of it  , we would of been deemed lost causes to rest of the world but showed them different “ she smiled brightly. 

“  well i’d say their proud of you now , your brothers i mean “  . 

“ oh they are i mean  they are both trying to get stationed here, benny is more so  he’s the oldest and kai is the middle who is deployed somewhere in the pacific  and then i’m baby who is adorable and  sweet as a peach “ she joked . 

“ hey peach suits you think we found your callsign kiddo “ mav chuckled ruffling her hair . 

“ who got call sign?” bob asked . 

“ peach here , sweet as a peach “ mav nudged her. 

“ i regret bringing that up “ she grimaced. 

“ well get over it apple “  jake smirked. 

“ will do hopscotch “ she ran up to see belles lip wobble . 

Walking into the hard deck she was little nervous meeting more people but the moment she seen Penny Benjamin's warm smile  those nerves melted away .  She was eager to win Belle over seemed as though they all did during the lunch even jake decided to get in on it ultimately him and nat were favorites for awhile  til she got upset and started calling for  “roo” .  honestly she thought the man was going to cry with the excitement . she even got in a few games of pool to which jake got his comeback and beat her at .  the guys also agreed to come over help with the last few things she needed to  do in the house and Amelia indeed offered her babysitting services.

She was barely even awake when she heard the knocking on her door soft glow of the morning sun coming through the window she checked to see belle still undisturbed on the monitor  .  she barely had time to wipe the sleep out of her eyes when she padded her way down the hall . stretching as she pulled open the door to see the dagger squad standing on her porch bright eyed . 

“Are y’all ok it like … what time is it “ she groaned leaving the door open for them to come in and follow. 

“ it’s ten  wait shit i though babies wake early so figured you’d be awake “ rooster winced. 

“ nah she still asleep really tuckered her out yesterday  i’ll  guess i’ll get breakfast started and coffee “ she stretched out . 

“ is the kiwi not a morning person ?” jake called she didn’t need to even look at the man to know he was smug and smiling at her. 

“ nah monopoly i ain’t , now who wants pancakes” she turn as a show of hands raised up only for her to hear a cry coming down the hall .  “ let me get princess belle and i’ll get breakfast started “ she yawned more before heading down the hall only this time one pair of eyes where following her. 

“ next time we don’t listen to rooster … the baby expert “ nat rolled her eyes  following down to apologize .

“ this place is cool , she was telling me she'd been fixing it up while belle was in daycare and nat  been saying same she even helped her paint and stuff “ bob  told them all as they stood waiting . 

“ what she need our help for ?” jake asked looking around bob was right she made the little space like home such a short of time it was cozy he could see himself relaxing after hard day . 

“ she doesn’t but we offered to help our new co worker and friend out “  rooster shrugged . 

“ also helping the hot mom out works too “ payback whispered just as sound of little feet came running down the halls stopping looking up at the men staring down . 

“ jake “ she squealed holding her little arms out to the man . 

“ hey little lady  love the crazy do this morning “ he chuckled lifting her up , her hair out like a birds nest as her little hands rubbed her eyes  .

 “ like her moms it would seem “ rooster snort and y/n was currently  fixing her hair back up on top of her head and out of her face. 

“   you still look beautiful though” bob smiled shyly. 

“ for that you get extras “ she patted the WSO’s cheeks as he stood a little taller.  All following into the kitchen as nat moved around easily being the only one of the group who was actually ever in the space.  She began pulling it all out as jakes eyes widen as excitement took over the man seeing the stuff  his home state sitting right on the counter . 

“ shit where  you get that i haven’t found any of that stuff here” he smiled . 

“ i brought  a lot  kinda scared i wouldn’t find it here my brother  said he’s gonna bring more up when he visit i’ll ask him bring extra for you but i don’t know when that will be “  her back turned cutting up some fruit as nat was making everyone coffee . moving around the large men around the kitchen sitting the little plate on counter grabbing the bottle of milk nat handed her .  “ thank you gorgeous lady “ she winked taking belle out of the blondes arms before placing her in her highchair handing her the bottle and plate . 

“ i’ll watch her while your doing that “ rooster offered . 

“ thank you chicken” she cooed  making him blush . 

“ you don’t do that when hangman calls you chicken “ fanboy whispered. 

“ she’s prettier and has better accent than hangman  , hers doesn’t sound condescending either” he shrugged. 

All eyes watching  like they’d never seen how a breakfast was made such fascination  while she was talking about how excited she was to finally start working with them all . it was strange how close she already felt with the group after a short amount of time .   she was already picking up mannerisms of each individual , each persona of each member of the dagger squad.  

“ thank you peach “ each member called as she place their plate in front of them bar jake  who said “ thank you banna “ 

“ you know your gonna run out of fruit bop it “ she chuckled . 

“ your gonna run out of games “ he shoot back  taking a  forkful of food nearly falling in his seat shit he was really start to rethink his policy on single moms now .

next chapter

[thebarontheabyss]

Happy Halloween to all dead and alive patrons of TBOTA! 👻🎃

Sharing another entry from the archive update if you haven't tried it yet—one that is just perfect for tonight. All other entries are available in the menu or during Chapter 4 of the game!

Have a spooky-but-fun holiday, and see you in the Abyss! 🖤

The Last Recordings of Ibaria Kell’ani

——————▸ Recording 001:

Finally, got this thing working.

My name is Ibaria Kell’ani. I’m a field agent of the Extrarealmic Exploration Institute of Civitas. I was taken hostage by inhabitants of realm C520, for reasons I still can’t figure out.

We were ambushed just a few miles from the gateway right after we descended into the valley. Everything happened so fast.

I… I don’t know where the others are.

When I woke up, I found myself in this chamber. No sign of my team, no sign of my captors—just cold stone walls and… silence.

Shit. I need to think.

——————▸ Recording 002:

An hour has passed since my last recording. Finally managed to calm down.

Let’s see… the important details.

So I woke up in this lavish room, not exactly what I’d call a cell. It’s... unsettling. The bed is large, almost too comfortable, with golden embroidered sheets and a flowing canopy. There’s a faucet in the corner, and a plate of fruit on the bedside table—perfectly arranged, by the way. Fresh, untouched.

Were I not a hostage, I’d give this place a five-star review.

There’s a large window overlooking the valley, and based on the view, I think I’m on the opposite side from where we landed. The elevation is dizzying. It’s way too high to climb down. I thought about making a rope from the bedsheets, but considering how far the drop is, I’d probably fall to my death.

So… let’s file that under Plan Z for now.

Oh, and the door to my room is wide open. Not locked. Not guarded. Just… opened.

I took a peek outside. There’s a huge corridor, stretching in both directions, but it’s too dark to see where it will take me. But I did see some ornate carvings running along the walls, the kind that would take lifetimes to craft.

What a strange prison cell. If that’s even what this is. I called out for my team, but the only thing that answered was my own voice, echoing back.

Nothing. No one. Just silence.

I think… I was hurt during the ambush. There’s a wound on my chest, right above my heart. I didn’t notice it at first—maybe I was in shock. But when I looked, someone had sealed it up. The stitching is crude, primitive. And yet, it doesn’t hurt.

In fact, it’s… warm to the touch.

I’ve been debating whether to leave the room. The open door feels like bait. Like part of some elaborate plan. This realm—C520—has already proven dangerous, and I’m not naive enough to believe my captors would forget to lock my door.

But it’s either that or the window. And I’m not ready to throw myself off a cliff just yet.

I’ll… I’ll keep you updated.

——————▸ Recording 003:

What is this place?

It took some self-convincing, more than I’d like to admit—but I did it. I went outside. Walked through the dark corridor, my flashlight shaking in my hand the entire way.

At the end of the hall, I found a sodden door. Behind it… there’s a worship chamber, or something that resembles one.

Oh, I should mention—my comm device. Still broken. Probably fried during the ambush. So, I’m left with my secondary recording device. It can’t do video, but I’ll keep doing these audio docs, so If anyone ever finds them…

You know, I should probably stop thinking about that.

Anyway, the chamber. It’s huge, like some sort of ancient monastery. Big statues, lined the walls, their faces obscured by time or maybe deliberate damage. I think they depicted warriors, or Gods–or both. Each statue was clutching something—heads. Humanoid heads, held like stone trophies in their cold hands. There were unlit candles scattered across the floor, and carvings covering the walls and ground. It all screamed of some kind of cult-like ritual space.

Wish Agent Joles were here. Her expertise in extrarealmic anthropology would’ve come in handy. I’m just a field agent—a grunt. I’m here to follow the experts, not to play investigator in a nightmare temple.

I wonder where the others are.

The chamber was cold, but the atmosphere was worse than the temperature. I tried to read the carvings, but without my comm device, I couldn't translate them.

There was no exit except for the way I came in, so after a while, I left. Honestly, the whole place gave me the creeps. Those statues… those heads. It felt like they were watching me as I walked away. I know that’s crazy. I know I’m probably just freaked out. But I heard rumours, about the things hiding in some of these realms.

Although, that won’t make sense, right? They scan every realm before expeditions. They check for dangers. And for safety measures, we had a whole squad of security guards. So… how did this happened, for Dominie’s sake? We were supposed to be prepared for some primitive inhabitants. What the hell happened?!

Sorry. Got carried away.

So, when I got back to my room, I downed some water from the faucet. I kind of hesitated before drinking it, but they wouldn’t poison it, right? I mean, there’s no point. They can do whatever they want to me. It’s not like a 5’4" field agent is going to pose much of a threat.

Actually, another thing I don’t want to think about right now.

I need to reassess. The sun—looks like it’s starting to set. I’ll head out again. Try to cover more ground.

Wish me luck.

——————▸ Recording 004:

Hello again. It’s morning already. I was so tired I fell asleep and forgot to record.

So… where do I start? This place is huge. And I don’t mean big in the normal sense—I mean *palatial*. A labyrinth of halls, corridors, and rooms. It took me more than two hours just to make a partial sweep, and I’m not even sure I’ve seen half of it.

There’s a throne room, of all things, sitting empty like its monarch left centuries ago. I walked past more than ten chambers—some grand, like mine, others more bare but still way too fancy to be normal cells. I found a grand hall, kitchens (complete with gleaming silverware and bowls of nothing), and long stretches of corridors leading to dead ends or locked doors.

All of it… deserted.

It’s like a whole kingdom got up and walked away one day, leaving everything behind. There’s no dust, no decay. Just vast emptiness.

No sign of my team, as well. Not a trace. Not a voice. The only sounds are my footsteps and my breathing. I tried the doors leading outside, but they’re all sealed shut, not even a lock or handle to work with. I think… the lock is on the other side?

After a while, I could feel another panic attack creeping up on me. But… I was too damn tired to let it happen. I didn’t have the energy to be scared anymore.

Instead, I stumbled back to my room, drained. The plate of fruit was still sitting there on the bed, so I ate the whole thing in one go. Honestly, I don’t even remember what it tasted like. It could’ve been cardboard for all I care. I just needed something in my system. Then, I collapsed onto the bed and slept.

When I woke up… the plate was full again. Back where it had been yesterday. Fresh fruit, arranged just as perfectly as before.

That’s when I lost it. I yelled—really yelled—until my throat hurt. Not because I was scared. No, I was pissed. Furious, actually. I don’t care what’s going on anymore. I don’t care what they’re planning or what they’ll do to me. I just wanted this stupid, endless suspense to end.

But no one came. No one answered.

No footsteps, no voices, no movement at all.

Nothing.

So here I am again, talking to this recorder like it’s a friend. I’ll… I’ll try another walk around today. There has to be something I missed. Maybe a door I overlooked. Maybe some clue that’ll help me make sense of this.

I can’t give up. Not yet.

My wound seems to be getting better. I mean, it’s not hurting anymore. Just… pulsing a bit. That’s weird, right? It doesn’t hurt, but it’s like there’s a heartbeat just beneath the skin.

I don’t know. It’s the least of my problems right now.

——————▸ Recording 005:

It’s been three days. I don’t think there’s a way out.

I’ve searched every inch of this damned place—every hall, every room, every shadowed corner. And as far as I can tell, the only real exits are the windows. I spent yesterday walking through even more fancy halls and ornate chambers, all just as grand and empty as the rest of this palace.

There’s also a garden, which… well, I have to admit was a nice break. I needed the air. But other than that… Nothing.

Every morning, the fruit plate on my bed gets replenished. I checked it this morning, waiting to see if someone would sneak in while I slept, but… no. No one. It’s magic. I saw it happen. The fruit just appeared, like it was summoned out of thin air.

That’s when I started thinking about Samir. If he were here, with his arcane knowledge, he’d probably be able to figure it out. Or at least, he’d have some theory. But Samir’s not here, is he? No one is. I’m alone.

Maybe someone managed to escape? Maybe all of them did. Maybe I’m the only one unlucky enough to be captured. Maybe… maybe the search parties are combing through the valley, following protocol, marking my absence on some cold, clinical report.

Either way, I need to be patient. I’m not in any immediate danger, right? No one’s tried to harm me, there’s food, there’s water, I’m not hurt… at least, not physically. I just need to keep my head on straight. Just be patient, Ibaria.

I had the strangest dream the other night. I was back in the chamber with the statues—the one with all those warrior effigies. It was snowing inside it—not just cold, actual snow falling from the ceiling. I remember watching it fall on those stone faces. And then one of the statues moved.

She was a woman, tall and armored, a warrior just like the others. But instead of standing there, frozen in place, she stepped down from her pedestal. She walked right up to me, took my hand, and kissed it. Her lips were cold. I could feel them, real as anything. And then she whispered, “It’s going to be alright.”

I thought about searching that chamber again, but honestly… I’m afraid to find her there.

I’m trying to stay focused, to keep some semblance of a plan.

So here’s what I’ve got:

- Plan A: Wait for rescue. Patience. Hope the Institute hasn’t forgotten me.

- Plan B: Try some of the locked doors. See if I can force my way through one of them. Maybe there’s something I missed.

- Plan Z: Jump out the window.

Let’s… hope it doesn’t come to that.

The wound on my chest is still there. It’s not hurting, but that pulsing sensation? Yeah, that’s still happening. Almost like it’s synced to my heartbeat. If I focus hard enough, I can feel it—this subtle thrum beneath the skin, warm, constant.

I can’t figure out if that’s a good or bad thing.

——————▸ Recording 006:

The others are dead.

It’s been two weeks since my last recording. Two weeks of silence. I had no reason to record. No purpose. I’ve just… wandered around this place. Lost, alone. Waiting, I suppose.

Until today.

I dreamed of her again. The woman from the chamber. She came to me every night, standing there in the snow, whispering things I couldn’t understand. But this morning… I didn’t wake up in my room.

I woke up in the chamber.

The cold stone floor was beneath me, and I could see my breath in the air, though I felt no chill. I bolted out of there, heart pounding in my chest. But something made me stop at the door. I turned back. I don’t know why. Maybe it was instinct, or maybe I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something I’d missed.

I searched the chamber again, behind the statues this time. That’s when I found it.

A door.

It was hidden behind a statue. The door was ice-cold to the touch, frost curling along the edges, but I didn’t hesitate. I pushed it open and stepped inside.

And that’s when I found them.

My team.

What’s… what’s left of them.

Their bodies were frozen in place, scattered across a huge, cavernous room. Catacomb-like, the walls were encased in thick ice, but I didn’t feel the cold. It was like the air had been sucked out, leaving only silence, death.

Their chests were split open. Not torn or clawed at—opened. As if something inside them had burned its way out. The skin around their wounds was charred, blackened, but the rest of their bodies were pristine, preserved in the ice.

I found the professor. Sylvia.

She was my mentor. I’ve known her for years. She always had this calm, steady look about her. But now… she looks terrified. Even in death, that fear is etched into her face.

But they weren’t the only ones in that chamber. There were others. Other bodies. Explorers, I think, judging by their clothing. But not just from Civitas. No… these people were from other realms. The styles of their uniforms, the equipment scattered around—it was all different. But their fate was the same. Chest opened, frozen in ice. Like something had devoured them from within.

And then, at the center of it all, a circle of bodies.

My captors.

They were arranged in a circle, lying in perfect formation, like some kind of ritual. All of them dead. I think they poisoned themselves. There was an empty bottle in the middle, the liquid long gone. It didn’t make sense, none of it makes sense.

And at the end of the room I found… her. The statue.

The bronze woman, the one from my dreams, her form still and cold. Covered in ice, just like the rest of the chamber. But there was something about her. She wasn’t just another statue. I could feel it. Like she was watching me. Waiting.

I ran. I couldn’t take it anymore. I bolted back to my room, slammed the door behind me, and collapsed on the bed, my mind racing.

Before I left the chamber, though, I grabbed something—Sylvia’s log. Her personal notes. I’ve been combing through them ever since I got back, trying to make sense of all this.

The final entry… it must have been written just before everything went wrong. It says: *“Someone has interfered with the gateway. We are in the wrong place.”*

I don’t think anyone’s coming for me.

——————▸ Recording 007:

It’s snowing outside.

The valley is white, pristine. It’s been snowing for two days now—relentless, endless. Everything is buried beneath it. The world is so quiet.

There was once an empire here. A pantheon of warrior-gods who ruled this realm. They waged wars—horrible, unending wars. So many dead. Gods and mortals alike. We’re so similar, aren’t we?

And she… she needed someone to save her. Someone to carry her. Not all mortals are capable, she told me. She needed someone who crossed the realms, absorbing void energy. But even then, some… can’t take the weight.

So she had to try, again and again.

I’m… I’m not in control of myself anymore. I wake up in places I don’t remember going to, sleepwalking through this palace. I feel tired all the time, like there’s a weight inside me pulling me down. But she said it’s alright. It’s all part of the process. The cold is everywhere now, but she says my warmth will sustain her.

I was just a field agent. I wasn’t special. I wasn’t important. But she told me I am. I will be. I was the only one who mattered. This place—it’s been waiting for me. All of it. The halls, the statues, my throne. Waiting for me.

To take back my realm.

To lead my people to victory.

To be the war, the snow, the cold.

The wound on my chest—it's healed now. It closed days ago. I feel stronger. Clearer. More… whole than I’ve felt in a long time. I thought I’d lost myself, but no. I came back through.

Thank you, for your sacrifice. It won’t be in vain. You gave me the strength I needed. The strength to do what must be done.

I will take back what’s mine.

[yatagarasuhonyaku]

The Raven of the Empty Coffin: Chapter 1 "Shigemaru" Part 1

Disclaimer: This is a fan-translation japanese-english of the original novel. The events of this novel follow after what's already covered by the anime. For an easier understanding, I recommend first reading the few scenes of previous books I've already translated.

Blog version

For the Prologue, you can find it HERE

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Chapter 1: Shigemaru (Part 1)

“Excuse me!” A high-pitched voice reverberated through the dirt floor.

I took a look outside. A tiny shadow was just behind the open shoji door, obscured by the sunlight at his back.

“Oh, hey, what brings you here?”

The boy, who was probably around seven years old, wasn’t anyone I knew. Could he have gotten lost? I wondered. However, as I tried to approach him, the boy cast his eyes down and tightened his grasp on the sleeve of his kimono.

“Well, eh, well, Mister Upper Quarters…”

“I’m from the upper quarters, yes, what do you need?”

My big size tended to scare little children, so standing up in front of him was out of the question. I quickly knelt down, crouching until I reached his eye level. Meanwhile, the boy seemed to have finally found his resolve and raised his head.

“You see, Mister, we actually have a package for you. But nobody is home right now so… could you wait here instead?”

Huh, his parents probably sent him here, then. And what a cute kid he was, so desperate to repeat the message properly.

“I don’t mind. So, you’re here for an errand, right? Where did you come from?”  I asked.

It was at that moment that the boy finally seemed to realize I wasn’t going to eat him alive. His body visibly relaxed.

“The lower quarters.”

“Oh, so you’re that couple’s son! You must be very brave to come here all alone from so far away.”

The lower quarters was a big, old house close to the old commercial road(1). It was, in fact, quite the walk to get there. The road was just one straight line, yes, but we had barely any contact. It truly wasn’t a distance a young child could easily cross on their own.

“I flew about half the way here!”

“Oh, that’s impressive! So you can fly already.”

“Just a bit.”

“And that’s still amazing. I’m Shigemaru, what’s your name?”

“I’m Eita.” 

My conversation with the boy was soon interrupted by the sound of loud footsteps. My younger brothers had just returned, running at full speed.

“Shige(2), is that a guest?”

“Oooh, who are you?”

All being similar ages, it took no time for the kids to befriend one another. They spent the entire time until Eita’s family arrived playing without a break. From tag to spinning top, they busied themselves with any and all kinds of games.

When the time came, it was obvious the poor kid didn’t want to go back home. He had too much fun here, it seemed. So, as we were saying our farewells, I had an idea: I decided to give him a little present, a newly made spinning top.

“Ah, that must be your best one yet! It looks so much better!”

“That’s so cool! Shige makes the best tops, so you better treat it well!”

“...... Is it for me?” Eita’s eyes sparkled. “Really? Can I have it?” 

He was oh-so-visibly hesitating. How nice of him, he was nothing like my brothers or the other village brats. I was bursting into laughter before even realizing it.

“Why so timid? Eita, you did amazing today even though it was your first time playing with these. So, take this and practice for the next time you come over. How about that?”

“Next time…?” Eita whispered.

My brothers immediately took it upon themselves to start a ruckus.

“Yes, of course! Nothing stops you from coming back if you want to, right?”

“Let’s play again! This doesn’t have to be the last time.”

“And make sure to bring the top with you next time. That way we can have a match!”

Eita’s lips curved into a big happy smile. He nodded enthusiastically.

“See you! Come over to play again.”

“You better not fail us!”

“I won’t, see you!”

I watched as, under the sinking sun, his tiny frame became smaller and smaller on his way home. Again and again, he kept on turning back to look at us.

That day was the first and the last time I ever got to see Eita.

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It was a fresh and invigorating morning. The blue sky was that particularly soft shade unique to spring. No better day to take on a new step in life, he thought to himself. The gentle, bright sunlight poured down and the blooming cherry blossoms that stretched under him gleamed. To him, they looked like drifting white clouds. 

As he flew through, enjoying the chance to view the flowers from high up in the sky, he started to see figures slowly walking up a slope. He also started to notice horse riders appearing from all over. Everyone was headed in the same direction: a number of temple buildings lined up halfway up the side of the mountain. The walls surrounding them were huge, their appearance imposing enough to subdue any would-be-intruders.

In front of it all there was a plaza, which stood right before what one could surmise was the main entrance. Some horses had even landed there already, he noticed. 

——That had to be it.

Shigemaru turned beak first towards the plaza, gliding down as he grasped the very air with his wings. Then, just as he reached the ground, he applied force to his entire body. In a mere instant, his form went from that of a massive raven to that of a human. Dust flew around flung by his wings, which quickly turned into impressive-looking tanned arms. His three legs, all ending in sharp claws, also shifted into a pair of legs that were just as imposing. He flexed, as if making sure everything was in order with his muscular body, and took the wrapping cloth bag hanging from his mouth.

Shigemaru raised his head in satisfaction and found himself face-to-face with a group of boys, all shocked by the giant who had just come down from the sky. His fellow new trainees, he surmised. They were the people he would sleep and eat with for the following three years.

But, was there something they wanted to say? He tilted his head in a wordless question. However, the boys, who had finally come back to themselves, ignored it and looked away instead, setting off towards the entrance. Across the door, multiple long tables were placed all over. From the looks of it, they were doing the new trainees’ reception there. A group of adults, most likely administrative officers, were taking in the boys as they arrived.

“Your letter of recommendation?” one of them said to him as he approached.

They didn’t even give him a chance to speak first.

“Here.”

“Name and place of origin?”

“Shigemaru of Shimaki.”

“A recommendation letter from the Headmaster and the Township Lord. All in order.” The administrative officer confirmed the contents of the letter and scribbled something down in a form. “Then, please, first head to the lodging houses to your new personal room. There should be a senior waiting there to guide you, just follow his instructions.”

The officer offered him a paper that said ‘second building, tenth room’. The moment Shigemaru tried to pick it up, however, the man gave him a wry smile instead.

“...... Still, you got some guts to come up to the entrance in bird shape,” the officer said, surprise in his voice.

Shigemaru gave him a blank look.

“Did I do anything wrong?”

“Oh, not particularly. It’s not like there’s any rule about it, but the Court Ravens will make fun of you, you know?” the officer warned him in a whisper and, finally, let him pick up the paper. “You’re from a rural area so you may not realize it yet, but central nobles are all like that. If you’re aware of what you’re doing, I won’t stop you. Just be careful.”

Shigemaru didn’t really get what he had to be careful about exactly, but he could at least tell the man was talking out of concern for his well-being. So, a sincere show of gratitude later, Shigemaru took off in the direction of his assigned lodgings.

Now that he thought about it, he couldn’t help but to notice that the other boys who were, just like him, carrying their luggage towards their rooms were all dressed in colorful clothes. Yatagarasu like Shigemaru and the others could alternate between two forms, bird and human, but to do so they had to weave a feather robe, black clothes made from part of their bodies. Once generated, which required a conscious effort on their part, it would automatically shift into their feathers when they transformed.

Kimono made of silk and hemp, however, only got in the way when shifting.

It wasn’t rare for people to spend their entire lives in their feather robe, at least for those who struggled with money. However, and rather unsurprisingly, it seemed such people were scarce among the Unbending Reed Monastery’s young trainees. In short, he was already sticking out and he had only just arrived. 

Shigemaru found himself standing there, scratching his head, when he caught sight of another person with the same all-black look in that expanding sea of blues and browns. There was no mistaking it, right over there was another newcomer wearing a feather robe.

Shigemaru immediately ran towards him and enthusiastically patted the boy’s back.

“Hey! You must be from the countryside, just like me, right?”

His fellow trainee, who almost tripped from the sheer force of the impact, somehow managed to bounce back and turn around to look at him. He was quite tiny for someone his age. The boy stood there looking at Shigemaru, mouth open and dumbfounded, perhaps taken aback by his large frame. He wasn’t only small, his features too were still soft and childlike.

“Ah, I know I may not look like it, but I’m also a newcomer. I’m from the Northern Region as well, so to be honest I don’t have any idea of how things work here in the Center. Let’s get along, fellow country bumpkin.”

The boy kept staring at him for a while, before finally breaking into a smile.

“What are the chances? I’m also from the North!”

“Really? I’m from Shimaki.”

“Taruhi. I guess that makes us neighbors,” the boy said in a polite tone.

He introduced himself as Yukiya. He seemed like a nice person, Shigemaru thought to himself. Especially with that gentle look of his.

To top it all off, Shigemaru got a look at Yukiya’s paper on their way to the lodging houses. To his surprise, it turned out they were to share a room. Both were in the tenth room in the second building.

“Oh, we are in the same room as well.”

“Now that’s just fate, isn’t it? Nice to meet you then, here’s hoping we get along,” Yukiya bowed his head.

“I hope so too!”

From there on, they talked a bit about themselves as they moved across the different facilities. After a short walk, they finally reached the dormitory rooms. They both went on to check the door signs, but Shigemaru was the one to call Yukiya over. He had found the room, and it turned out their assigned senior was even someone he already knew. Shigemaru truly felt lucky that day.

Their mentor-to-be, Ichiryuu, was what one would call the stereotypical modern young man. Both for better and for worse.

He used to have quite the rebellious side. This, on top of his eccentric taste in clothes, made the Township citizens worry quite a bit about him back in the day. However, it seemed like his time at the Monastery had done him a lot of good and turned him into a splendid trainee. He had quite the foul mouth and a mean look in his eyes, but Shigemaru knew well that there was an upright character hidden underneath.

At the very least, and from the looks of it, Shigemaru wouldn’t have to worry much about roommate problems for the following year. He let out a quiet sigh of relief.

However, upon seeing Yukiya, Ichiryuu immediately turned white as a sheet.

“W-What are you doing here!? You said there was no way you would come to the Monastery, didn’t you?” he shrieked.

“Oh, about that, you see, the circumstances have changed a lot,” Yukiya gave him a pained smile. His attitude was still impeccably polite. 

In the meantime, Shigemaru just stood there, giving alternating glances to his polar opposite roommates. Finally, he tilted his head.

“Wait, did something happen between you two?”

“Oh no, don’t worry,” Yukiya replied with a smile before Ichiryuu—whose face was contorted beyond belief—could say anything. No space was left for arguments. “We are childhood friends, after all. Everyone gets into one or two silly childish fights in their lives. But we aren’t kids anymore, so there’s no reason to hold a grudge, right?”

At Yukiya’s question, Ichiryuu froze for a second.

“Y-yes, of course. Who would hold a grudge over something that happened so long ago! Let the past be the past,” Ichiryuu agreed enthusiastically.

Yukiya’s smile, on the other hand, slowly deepened. “That said, I’ll make sure to not overstep just because of our past together. Ichiryuu, I trust you to guide us well as our senior.”

Yukiya bowed respectfully, and Ichiryuu’s face twisted once more as if he had just seen the world end.

“...... Yes, fine with me… Nice to meet you again…”

After a long period of silence, Ichiryuu finally opened his mouth again. His eyes looked dead—like those of a fish stuck on land—for some strange reason. For a moment there, it had looked as if his soul was going to leave his body. It worried Shigemaru quite a bit, but, by the time they left the dormitory hall for a tour around the Monastery, it seemed like Ichiryuu had finally returned to his usual self.

“We wake up as the sun rises,” Ichiryuu explained, his tone oddly desperate. He covered the details of Monastery life as they walked through the premises. “When to wake up, plus the start and end of the lessons, is all indicated by the ring of the bell tower up there. You won’t have to worry about missing meals as long as you pay attention. Be careful with the ‘ambushes’, however.”

“‘Ambushes’?”

“They simulate emergencies, so they happen without any prior notice. The alarm bell could sound at any time, even during lessons or during sleep. When that happens, we are supposed to gather at the plaza in front of the grand lecture hall. You should bring your Ornamented Blade(3) in hand, nothing else.”

“Ornamented… Blade? What’s that?”

“This.”

With the swooshing sound of the attached crimson strap being unfastened, Ichiryuu took off the tachi on his hip and showed it to them. Upon further examination, it was much lighter than it looked. The scabbard was covered in black lacquer and the ornamentation was simple but exquisite.

“It may look like the real thing, but it’s just a very well-made bamboo sword. They’ll give you one soon, it’s what identifies us as Monastery trainees. As for the decorative jewels, Evergreens have black ones, and white is for Saplings. For your generation, I think it’s supposed to be green. You should keep it with you at all times and, no matter what, never lose it.”

It was part of their duties as trainees to return their Ornamented Blade to the Monastery when they left. Hence why, if anyone lost it, they were summarily kicked out no matter the circumstances. “If you manage to overcome the Trial of Storm and are chosen for the Yamauchi Guard, however, you’ll be given the real blade in exchange.” 

After they thanked him, Ichiryuu returned the Blade to its original spot with practiced ease. “Once you wake up, there’s always morning training. We eat after that. Both breakfast and lunch are made for us, so you just have to go and pick up a tray but, once you’re done, you’ll have to clean it yourself. Seeds stay behind afterwards to arrange the desks for their own lectures.”

Lectures took up most if not all morning classes. After lunch, however, it was all practical courses. “As for the dojo, whoever uses them last has to clean them up. Dinner is prepared in turns by the different dormitory halls. Turn assignments are hung at the dining hall’s entrance at the start of every month, so make sure to check them out.”

Unless there was some sort of night training session, which wasn’t common, there were no classes after dinner. Did that mean there was nothing to do, then? To that question, the answer was no.

“You’ll be getting plenty of homework. Until you get used to it, expect to be very busy keeping up with lectures. You may even need to skip sleep. There are study groups, however, and some seniors organize training sessions on weapons that aren’t covered by our classes. You can join those once you grow comfortable with the workload.”

During the tour, Ichiryuu also showed them to the biggest hall in the Monastery. Deep in the massive room with wooden flooring, there was a huge altar, hidden away by bamboo curtains. Yamagami, the Mountain God of Yamauchi, was lavishly enshrined there. The ceiling, supported by endless pillars, was so tall that it was a struggle to look up to it. From there hung a sublime canopy of gold.

Initially, the Unbending Reed Monastery was a temple dedicated to Yamagami. It was the reason behind the luxury of its facilities and why its grounds were vast enough to include a swimming pond and even a grove of trees the trainees used for practical training. 

Their tour went on until dusk, as Shigemaru and Yukiya followed Ichiryuu through the enormous premises. Once it was time, however, they headed straight to the dining hall, where most trainees were already gathered.

Huge containers full of warm rice and pots filled to the brim with steamed vegetables and chicken dumplings awaited them in a corner of the room. Following Ichiryuu’s instructions, Shigemaru and Yukiya each took a set of trays(4) and utensils from the piles lying alongside the wall and proceeded to fill them with as much food as they could actually eat.

The three of them settled down in a circle in an empty spot among the other chattering trainees. They clapped their hands, said their blessings, and finally started to eat.

The meat dumplings were so juicy they leaked when one bit into them. The oily liquid had a golden tint and tasted like glory, with a flavor only achievable by boiling in large quantities. It was delicious, and Shigemaru simply couldn’t have enough of it: he had flown the entire way to the Monastery, after all. He devoured all his food with great enthusiasm, aided as he was by his empty stomach.

It all happened once they were putting aside their trays after dinner.

A group of seniors, most likely Evergreens given their apparent age, suddenly came in with a bunch of packages in hand. From them came the unmistakable, delicious aroma of sake. Apparently, it was tradition to hold a welcome party for the newcomers and so they had taken it upon themselves to go out to buy the alcohol and appetizers.

The seniors took care of all the preparations, setting up the entire party and refusing any help from some offering newcomers. The Evergreens busied themselves with hearing out some very nervous new arrivals as the Saplings efficiently moved around the room and made sure to distribute everything.

Finally, once everyone had a cup of sake in their hands, one of the Evergreens stood up to talk, aided by a push on the back from a friend. “To all newcomers, congratulations on joining the Monastery. We welcome you! There won’t be any time for fun from tomorrow onwards, so it’s our wish for you to enjoy the atmosphere at least for today.”

“However, you’ll have an awful time tomorrow if you get actually drunk! Be careful if you aren’t used to it.”

“There’s no way you can get drunk from this little.”

“Now, now. Don’t be spoilsports, let them drink all they can!”

Despite the constant interruptions from the sitting Evergreens’ banter, a toast followed soon after and, at last, everyone got to enjoy their drinks. Shigemaru, who had promptly finished his cup in one go, busied himself with chatting with his fellow newcomers and the seniors in his immediate area.

However, just a while later, the newcomers’ self-introductions started in earnest.

By that point, most were sober or slightly drunk at most, but a few were already wasted: their faces were completely red and they were incapable of properly articulating anything. The mood was quite good thanks to the sake, so laughter often found itself mixed in between the newcomers’ attempts to share their names, places of origin and reasons for joining the Monastery.

As soon as they were done, they returned to their seats with a bow and, immediately after, another newcomer close by would stand up to take their place.

“I’ve been assigned to the tenth room, second building. I’m Yukiya and I’m from Taruhi in the North.” Finally, Yukiya’s turn came. The boy, who had been sitting beside Shigemaru until that point, spoke without any hesitation. “My uncle used to be part of the Yamauchi Guard, so I’ve heard all about how hard the training here is ever since I was a little kid. I don’t know whether I'll be able to keep up, but I’ll do my best. Pleased to meet you all.”

As far as self-introductions went, Yukiya’s truly was the very epitome of average and unremarkable. An unenthusiastic applause followed it, after which Yukiya tried to sit back down with him. But, at that moment, someone else raised their voice. 

“Wait! What about your reasons for joining the Monastery?” the boy outright protested, oddly enough.

The one who spoke out was a boy with reddish brown hair, and Shigemaru couldn’t help but gasp when he saw his face. He was incredibly handsome, with the kind of looks you rarely if ever saw back in the countryside. To Shigemaru, it was like having the chance to admire some rare unusual creature in the wild.

Yukiya, however, faced the other boy without giving any hint of being surprised or impressed at all.

“Well, I don’t really have a reason worth mentioning, you see. My only desire is to become a splendid Guard and work to protect Yamauchi.”

“To protect Yamauchi? Is that truly all there’s to it?” the boy asked once again, plain incredulity painted all over his stunning face.

Seemingly unbothered by the strange demands, Yukiya visibly blinked.

“...... Excuse me, may I know who you are?”

“My name is Akeru. I’m Akeru of the Western House.”

The instant the red-haired boy introduced himself, gasps of surprise filled the dining hall in what quickly developed into a ruckus. So that’s him! they whispered to each other. Even Shigemaru, an authentic country bumpkin, knew just how powerful and important the Western House was even within the nobility.

In practice, the lands of Yamauchi were governed by the Four Houses, the highest ranking of the noble families. The Eastern, Southern, Western and Northern Houses each had control over the territory in their respective cardinal direction. They were said to descend from the First Golden Raven’s four children. Any member of the aristocracy, and this included the Center nobles, who held power in the Imperial Court had sworn allegiance to one of them. There were virtually no exceptions to this rule.

Akeru, as a scion of the Western House, one of these powerful families, therefore held one of the highest ranks among any young boy in the entire country.

“Oooh! So you are the oh-so-famous favorite of His Highness Wakamiya,” someone else interrupted in a mocking tone.

Shigemaru turned his head in the voice’s direction. There was a senior reclining arrogantly, surrounded by his followers. Despite being a Sapling, he had remained seated the entire time, even as others worked tirelessly to organize the party. 

He was not Akeru, that much was certain, but he still had a beautiful face. His features were noble, unified by a nicely-sculpted hooked nose. His shoulders were wide and he was noticeably taller than his fellow Saplings, with unusually long arms and legs. Despite his above average looks, in his eyes was blatant contempt towards others, which made him the kind of man that most don’t want to get involved with.

“And you are?” a perplexed Akeru asked.

The senior’s eyes glistened in defiance. “Kimichika of Minami-Tachibana.”

In response, Akeru let out a small ‘oh’, as if that had just explained it all. His eyes turned to pierce back at Kimichika. “Your reputation precedes you.”

“I don’t know what you’ve heard about me, but here I’m your senior. So you better be careful when opening your mouth.” Kimichika stood up, all puffed up, and returned Akeru’s gaze with arrogance. “I cannot care less whether you were Wakamiya’s close aide or whatever, and it doesn’t even matter here. You’ll have a bad time if you keep up with the big attitude.”

“Is that a threat?”

“Oh, if that’s how you want to take it, for sure. I mean, Wakamiya? Imagine being scared of that simpleton.”

“You can say whatever you want about me, but I won’t tolerate any insult to His Highness,” Akeru frowned and, all of a sudden, turned towards Yukiya. “What are you just standing there for? Shouldn’t you be saying something too, Lord Yukiya?”

Yukiya, who had so far been watching them with concern on his face, was rather confused. He obviously didn’t expect to be brought into the conversation. “Erhm, excuse me? I don’t really get what this entire conversation is all about, you see, so it’s not like I have much to say…”

His floundering, however, did little else than deepen Akeru’s frown. 

“....... You realize he’s insulting His Highness Wakamiya, right?”

Yukiya remained silent, yet something about him changed the very moment he heard that question. Deep annoyance burned deep within his eyes. He had an answer, Shigemaru realized, but that didn’t mean he wanted to give it. 

And so, Shigemaru couldn’t bring himself to stay out of the conversation any longer.

“Well, no matter how much you ask, people like us won’t have much to say about that.”

In a second, the entire room turned to stare daggers at Shigemaru. Why are you opening your damn beak, you ignorant fool?

“Nice to meet you, my name is Shigemaru. I share rooms with Yukiya and, like him as well, I’m from the Northern Region,” Shigemaru stood up and soon placed his hand on a shocked Yukiya’s shoulder. “My turn wouldn’t come no matter how long I waited, so I’ll take it nevertheless. Much like my friend here, I came to the Monastery with the goal of protecting Yamauchi and, as someone with similar circumstances, I must say that answering Lord Akeru’s question is impossible.”

Shigemaru’s tone was joking, and Akeru was left at a loss. “Why?”

“I mean, it’s not like us country bumpkins have even had the chance to meet those in the Imperial Family. You can’t judge a Yatagarasu you haven’t even met, at least not from what others say about them.”

Akeru was speechless, and he wasn’t the only one. Kimichika too seemed to have been caught off-guard by Shigemaru’s carefreeness as he muttered., “And who do you think you’re going to swear fealty to when you graduate?”

“I don’t even have a way to know that, do I? That’s a problem I’ll face three years from now,” Shigemaru laughed nonchalantly. “And, before that, I have to work hard to become strong and skilled enough to even be chosen for the Guard. I’ve heard our destinations are chosen according to our results, so I don’t know who I’ll be serving among the Imperial Family. Not like I care about who or where I serve as long as I can work for Yamauchi.”

Shigemaru’s argument was truly the simplest thing ever, yet it silenced the entire hall for quite a long while. Finally, someone broke into long-held laughter, an Evergreen who had been limited to listening until then. Just like that, the tense mood dissolved into nothing.

“Now, now, he actually got a point there. I’m with Shigemaru!”

“Looks like this year we got a new fun guy!”

“Kimichika, go back to your seat. We got sake for once, let’s not ruin it,” another Evergreen soon intervened.

Kimichika, who had been looking at Shigemaru with venom in his eyes, reticently closed his mouth. Akeru too decided to back off. He was obviously displeased with how everything played out, and his followers were busy trying to appease him.

Once the self-introduction picked up again and everything was back to normal, Shigemaru sat back in his original spot.

“Thank you, Shige(5),” Yukiya whispered to him.

“Don’t worry about it,” Shigemaru waved his hand as if it was nothing.

Finally getting to relax, he extended his hand to get himself a snack. However, right at that moment, Ichiryuu returned to their spot with a scowl.

“You two, come with me now.”

Immediately, Ichiryuu dragged them both out of the dining hall.

Their destination was, apparently, the Monastery’s bathhouse.

“Now this is the best!”

“It’s truly nice, isn’t it?”

It was, in fact, the biggest one Shigemaru had ever seen. Yukiya and he had finally gotten inside the bathtub, both relishing the chance to relax, when Ichiryuu brusquely opened the door from the washing area.

“Just how happy-go-lucky are you two!?” he yelled at them as he came in. “Why do you think I went through the trouble of dragging you two out of the party!? Because the Evergreens told me to!”

Ichiryuu kept on ranting, not even giving them a chance to answer. “They warned me: ‘make sure to teach them fast, before they end up starting something worse!’ That scared me shitless!” 

“Did we even have an option? I didn’t start it, you know, that young lord of the Western House came after me,” Yukiya protested, clearly fed up with the entire situation.

Ichiryuu quickly recoiled at that, switching targets. “What about you, Shigemaru!?” 

“Shige was just trying to help me. He knows nothing about Imperial Court politics, what other option did he have? Besides, I wonder: is it truly right for you to go and blame him for helping when you didn’t even try? Huh, Sapling Ichiryuu?” Yukiya attacked back, all prickliness.

Ichiryuu’s only answer was a pained groan. This was clearly escalating.

“..... Did I mess up anything?” Shigemaru asked meekly.

“Oh, don’t worry about it.” Despite the dark environment, he could still feel Yukiya softly laugh. “It’s all just worthless Imperial Court power struggles.”

Huh, thinking about it, why does Yukiya know so much about that sort of thing? Shigemaru wondered. Yukiya seemed to notice it.

“Well, you see, to be honest,” he explained to him as he scratched his head bashfully, “I didn't really explain myself properly before, but I’m, like Ichiryuu, the son of a Township Lord. Taruhi’s second son, to be more precise. On top of that, I was on Court service until not that long ago.”

“Oh, so that explains it!”

Yukiya’s demeanor was strangely sophisticated for someone from the countryside, so it all made sense to him. The feather robe may have initially misled Shigemaru, but Yukiya was still a nobleman. A rural one, but a noble nevertheless.

“Now, talking about that, you are probably way better suited than me to explain this entire mess to him. Will you?” Ichiryuu suggested.

“Fine then,” Yukiya repositioned to face Shigemaru, “Shige, do you know anything about the inheritance conflict from 10 years ago? The one to decide who would take the position of the Crown Prince: His Highness Wakamiya or his older brother—Lord Natsuka.”

Yukiya fully shifted into explanation mode. In answer, Shigemaru just shook his head.

“Just rumors, not any details.”

Until very recently, people in the Center fought over who should inherit the throne and become the next Golden Raven: the elder or the younger brother. That much he had heard about, as it was a Yamauchi-wide problem. That aside, he only knew that, at some point, they had settled on Wakamiya as the future Golden Raven.

“But, well, the rumors at least said that the imperial brothers really didn't get along…….”

“Oh, that's not true, actually. This may sound strange, I know, but their relationship is actually excellent. I would dare even say it’s the opposite: Lord Natsuka is a surprisingly dedicated and loving brother as far as I’ve seen.”

Just as surprising was Yukiya’s way of speaking, it was as if he knew them both personally. He went on to tell Shigemaru the actual reason the Court settled on Wakamiya as the Crown Prince, despite the Imperial Family upholding primogeniture: it was all Animiya's doing.

“For starters, the reason His Highness Wakamiya became the Crown Prince in the first place was because the imperial priests declared him a ‘True Golden Raven’.”

The Golden Ravens were the leaders of all Yatagarasu, and were further divided into ‘Acting’ and ‘True’ Golden Ravens. Within those two categories, ‘True Golden Ravens’ were said to be born rulers, possessing everything and anything they would ever need to govern Yamauchi. When one was born, he got to inherit the throne regardless of birth order or his mother’s station.

Only in the absence of one was the eldest brother to take over the position as a replacement. Those who ruled in their stead were therefore referred to as ‘Acting Golden Ravens’.

“We call both Golden Ravens, but you could say that the rightful ruler, the True Golden Raven, and his Acting replacements are entirely different figures. It was the priests who determined that His Highness Wakamiya was, in fact, a ‘True’ one.”

“Wait a moment,” Shigemaru said, hand on his forehead. “In short, that means the older brother gave up his position as Crown Prince to his younger brother because of his status as the ‘True’ Golden Raven, is that correct………?”

“Yes, exactly.”

According to Natsuka himself, to have a replacement was pointless when the real one existed. He was a just man and had never been the ambitious sort to begin with, so Natsuka had been perfectly content giving up the position to his brother once he knew he matched the legends.

However, not everyone was happy with his decision.

“Oomurasaki no Omae, the Empress, couldn't bring herself to accept that—she's Lord Natsuka's mother, you see. She's the legal wife and hails from the Southern House. Meanwhile, His Highness Wakamiya's mother was a concubine from the Western House.”

A long, long time had passed since the last time a ‘True Golden Raven’ had even been born, a fact that played a key part in the Southern House's adamant refusal to accept the situation. On the other hand, the Western House welcomed this development with open arms. Hence, the Imperial Court was divided into the Wakamiya Faction and the Animiya(6) Faction, even though it went against Natsuka’s own wishes.

“The South supports Animiya and the West, Wakamiya. This is why they are opposed to each other and, for some reason, it seems like their conflict is affecting even a place like the Unbending Reed Monastery. Did I get that right?”

Yukiya gave a pointed look to Ichiryuu, as if fishing for information.

“That’s right, yes,” a clearly exhausted Ichiryuu replied, “I think you have realized this much already, but Kimichika is a South-affiliated Court Raven.”

“And Akeru is a scion of the Western House, remember? So, Kimichika belongs to the Animiya Faction and Akeru to Wakamiya’s.”

“Argh, what an annoying mess!” Shigemaru exclaimed.

Maybe because of the sudden explanation, but he couldn't make any sense out of it. “So, let’s put it like this. There is a wife and her son, who is his father’s heir. Said father owns a lot of fields, but he cheated on his wife and secretly had a lover and yet another son somewhere else. This second son is truly gifted, however, so the legitimate heir wants to give up the fields to his brother. The wife absolutely refuses, and so her family and the lover’s family have somehow also gotten involved and it's all a complete mess. Did I get it right?”

For a second, Yukiya and Ichiryuu stood there in complete silence.

“That’s quite the way to put it…”

“It is, yes… but he is not wrong, really. So, using Shige's metaphor, Kimichika belongs to the wife's family, and Akeru to the lover's.”

“Good. I finally got it,” Shigemaru said.

“Now, whatever you do, avoid both of them as much as you can,” Ichiryuu insisted. “They’ll only give you trouble. To not approach what you can avoid is wisdom.”

“I have to agree. As long as they don't come after us, it's probably better to give them a wide berth,” Yukiya added.

“Well, now that this matter is resolved, I'm getting out of here. I can't believe you two are here like it’s nothing.” As Ichiryuu said that, he stood up with a stagger. It was only upon watching him go that Shigemaru realized that he himself was also entirely covered in sweat.

Refreshed after their bath, they all returned together to their shared room. In preparation for the following day, they started to set up the room as soon as they arrived. A worn-out screen, covered in repair marks, was soon placed in the center of the room, dividing it in two halves. The one further back was for Ichiryuu, while Shigemaru and Yukiya shared the half facing the entrance. Their futons, thin from much use, were all piled together in a corner. The three of them chatted as they arranged them.

After a while, the conversation turned back to their reasons to come to the Monastery.

“I also wanted to ask you about it, actually. Especially you, Yukiya,” Ichiryuu peeked through the screen. “I completely missed the chance to ask you earlier. You said that you didn’t want to ever come to the Monastery, didn’t you?”

Ichiryuu gave him a sour look as he said that. Shigemaru, surprised by the revelation, also turned to look at Yukiya, who shrugged bashfully.

“That’s true, yes. I once thought I would actually die if I ever joined the Monastery, and that I wouldn’t be able to keep up with the training. I hated the idea so much, in fact, that I chose to go to the Court over the Monastery when that choice was forced upon me.”

“Then, why did you even come here?”

“I couldn't remain a spoiled child, not after last summer.”

‘Last summer’. Shigemaru and Ichiryuu both instantly straightened their faces.

“...... When the ‘Monkeys’ attacked,” Ichiryuu muttered.

Yukiya nodded, silent.

Unimaginable fear assailed all the Yatagarasu in Yamauchi that summer. The incident took place in small border settlements: Monkeys attacked and murdered all inhabitants. There were no survivors in any of them. At first, nobody knew why they did it or where they had come from. However, it soon became clear that their Yatagarasu victims were nothing more than food to their assailants. Those giant Monkeys had assaulted their villages to eat them. 

Legends said that Yamauchi was protected by a barrier created by Yamagami, the God of the Mountain. They had never before suffered any kind of outside attack because of it. These unprecedented events shook everyone in Yamauchi to their very core.

The Imperial Court frantically searched for the Monkeys’ invasion route. A while later, they found out about ‘passages’ in the barrier that had, most likely, allowed the Monkeys to enter Yamauchi. Once they successfully blocked them all, the Imperial Court released an official announcement declaring the problem solved: the Monkeys wouldn’t ever be capable of returning to Yamauchi.

“However, those are simply the central nobles’ vain, silly hopes,” Yukiya argued, not mincing any words in the process, “‘For now, we have closed every hole we have found, so it would be nice if the monkeys don't ever return’. That's all it amounts to. Apparently, their aim was to keep the population calm and avoid an even bigger upheaval, but that way you only get them to lower their guards and ruin their chances at self-defense. To declare everything solved haphazardly like that just hurts us in the end.”

Yukiya’s irritation was palpable as he spoke. He seemed to be extremely bright, which made for quite the contrast with the easygoing, head-empty attitude he had kept up until that moment. 

“Oh, I see now, so that's what you meant by ‘protecting Yamauchi’! You too came here to fight off the Monkeys, then.”

“Well, yes, that's the gist of it,” Yukiya answered Shigemaru before further adding., “We can't leave it all up to the Imperial Court, after all.”

As if he had just realized something, Yukiya then glanced at him. “Wait, ‘you too’...?”

“Yes. I came here for the same reason as you, really. I didn't really get to mention it earlier, but I was actually born and raised in Sazaki, Shimaki.”

“... Sazaki!” As expected of fellow Northerners, Yukiya and Ichiryuu’s reactions were striking.

“No way, by Sazaki, you mean that Sazaki, right? ——The one that the Monkeys attacked,” Ichiryuu whispered in horror.

Shigemaru nodded. Two villages were raided by the Monkeys: Sugou in Taruhi, and Sazaki in Shimaki. Compared to Sugou, where the entire settlement was annihilated, Sazaki had it slightly better: only one house, away from everyone else's, was affected.

Everyone focused on Sugou when the topic of the Monkeys’ victims came up, but what happened in Sazaki had been just as terrifying for the locals: they knew that, if things had played out ever so slightly differently, they could have been the Monkeys’ food instead.

“We called the place the Monkeys attacked the ‘lower quarters’.”

It was an old house and, from what he knew, originally the main building of an entirely different village. Once the old commercial route went out of use, however, their population quickly dwindled and, as time passed, only the so-called ‘lower quarters’ remained. They had recently become more or less self-sufficient, from what it seemed, so they didn't have that much contact with Sazaki’s other inhabitants.

“That summer, the Township Lord sent us a notice, asking us to confirm that everyone was safe in the area. I can hold my own in a battle, at least by countryside standards, so I was sent to check the situation there.”

What Shigemaru found in the lower quarters was a veritable bloodbath.

Everyone there had vanished. Endless amount of flies fluttered around as the stench of the horses’ rotting corpses, still trapped in the stables, filled the air.

The edges of the house’s hearth were dyed black. By what, he couldn't really tell at first glance. At least, until he found all those pearly white bones scattered all over the place. With them came the realization: those dark stains were what remained of a sea of blood.

He may not have been particularly close to them, but they weren’t strangers either.

However, at the moment, what had worried Shigemaru the most was the safety of that young boy he had just met the other day. He ran through the entire house, calling for him. Eita, where are you!? Then, in one corner of the house, he found it.

The wide wooden floor was covered in dark stains, as if ink had spilled all over the place. There, in the middle of all that blood, was one tiny, all-too-familiar spinning top.

——He wouldn’t ever forget what he felt that day.

Neither Yukiya nor Ichiryuu said anything. They must have noticed Shigemaru's odd silence, and didn’t press him for details. Finally, he sighed and gave them a bitter smile.

“So, well, that’s why I'm here.”

Shigemaru had been invited by Monastery associates over and over again, being asked if he wouldn't at least consider taking the entrance exams. He ignored them all, as he had never felt the need to do so. He truly believed that he could handle most anything all by himself. After witnessing the Monkeys’ massacre, however, he came to realize how truly naive he had been.

“So, you wanted to further improve your battle skills for self-defense, I take it?” Ichiryuu’s expression was severe, different from anything before. He seemed to realize how personal this was to Shigemaru.

“Not really,” Shigemaru denied. “No matter how much I train myself, it's not like I could do anything worth a damn if a large number of Monkeys were to ever attack. Besides, learning that these ‘Passages’ are in the Center made me realize something. That, if I truly wanted to protect what I love, I couldn't just stay there, swinging around some club in front of my house. To be honest, it's not like I even know right now what I can achieve as a Yamauchi Guard either.”

But, at the very least, it beat staying home practicing with sticks. He didn't want to ever be in the position of picking up a bloodied toy with his very own hands. Not again.

“I truly couldn't stand the idea of regretting it all later. If something like that were to ever happen again, to find myself thinking——‘I should have joined the Guard’; ‘if only I hadn't been self-complacent, maybe, maybe I could have done something’.”

The realization came to him at the very last moment, a few months from losing his chance forever. He found himself quite fortunate for that.

“Yes, I get exactly what you mean,” Yukiya muttered softly, and yet, for some reason, his expression was one of pure, undiluted joy. “I'm so glad we became friends, Shige. Let's become Guards together, no matter what.”

However, Shigemaru couldn't really share Yukiya's optimism.

“But,” he looked up at the ceiling, “honestly, I was in the very last place at the entrance exams for theory courses. Can someone like me even graduate?”

The moment Yukiya heard that, he burst out in merry laughter.

“Don’t worry, I'll help you out! Theory won’t be any problem.”

—————————————

1: The commercial roads are the main paths that connect the Center with the countryside. A lot of big settlements are built around them to provide for merchants. Sometime ago, the “old” ones were replaced with newly built ones that followed another route. The villages reliant on them struggled and became smaller and much more isolated.

2: Shigemaru’s little brothers call him 茂兄, or Shige-nii. Brother Shige, but said in a very affectionate way, essentially.

3: The original term for Ornamented Blade is 珂仗 (Kajou). It’s a wordplay on 儀仗 (Gijou), the word for ‘ceremonial weapon’. 珂 is a kanji for ‘jewel’ that doesn’t see that much modern use.

4: These trays are actually 食膳, four-legged trays that were used instead of tables in ancient East Asia. Dining tables weren’t in use back in the Heian era Yamauchi mostly resembles.

5: The specific way Yukiya calls Shigemaru is 茂さん, or Shige-san.

6: Much like Nazukihiko is referred to as Wakamiya (若宮, or ‘young imperial’), his siblings have similar titles. Natsuka’s is Animiya, 兄宮, or the ‘elder brother imperial’. For consistency sake, I’ll be keeping all -miya titles.