#I’m so sad it’s going to be over soon. I love this circle so much

[pellucid-constellations]

Of Oblivious Minds (3)

Pairing: Azriel x Reader

Summary: You're positive Azriel is in love with Elain. It seems so obvious. But Cassian is laughing at you and suddenly nothing makes quite so much sense anymore.

Word count: 2.3k

Warnings: Azriel's POV (it's a warning here), angst

a/n: I am blown away by all of you and your support!! I really love writing for this fandom omg. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy ♡ Let me know what you think!! I'll get the next update up soon!

Part 1, Part 2, Part 4

~~

Azriel was losing his ever-loving mind. 

A few weeks ago, everything was fine. Not optimal, but fine. 

He knew his mate, and that was more than could be said for most of Prythian. But even more than that, he could love her from afar. He could make small remarks and catch the smiles they would elicit. He could send his shadows after her on her walks home, protecting her even though she had the entire Inner Circle looking out for her wellbeing. He could buy the ridiculously expensive pastries she loved and stock the kitchens with them, listening for the small gasps she let out each time she found them.

He could talk to you, listen to you, love you in his small ways, even if it wasn’t the ways in which he longed for. 

Because it wasn’t the right time yet. You hadn’t felt the bond for yourself. 

So, yes—admittedly, Azriel had not been in the most optimal position with you. But it was leaps and bounds better than the purgatory you were subjecting him to now. 

He mulled over his current reality as he sat opposite to you at the dining table. He had had to snag the seat from Mor, ripping the chair from her hand in an uncharacteristic show of aggression, and you hadn’t so much as looked up from your plate. He would’ve rather fought for the seats beside you, but Rhys and Cassian had been sitting before he even entered the room. So now he fought for your eyes and was too far away to offer any lingering, accidental touches. 

Not that you would reciprocate either. 

You were avoiding him, and Azriel was at his wit's end trying to decipher why. 

His shadows had relayed dismal reports, only whispering the words sad and alone and contemplative into his ears each morning. He could have guessed as much, if the display of emotions he had tried to comfort you through all those days ago told him anything. 

But Gods, did they really tell him nothing, because you hadn’t spoken to him since. 

“—that is certainly something to consider. Y/n, would you be open to the job?” 

“Hm?” you hummed, and Azriel watched as your eyes flickered over to Rhys in one abrupt movement. “Sorry, what?” 

Rhys raised a brow lined with humor, and Azriel realized he hadn’t been listening to the conversation either. “Helion has extended an invitation to the Night Court—for diplomatic relations and all. It’s mostly a weekend stay for show, but he has quite an extensive library. Feyre and I went last time so it would only be fair if—” 

“Yes,” you nodded, the most emotion Azriel had seen on your face in days blooming into a joyous array. “Of course, I would love to go. Are you kidding?” 

Rhys chuckled. “I figured. Helion has been quite eager to get you to come as well. Seemed like the perfect time.” 

Azriel didn’t miss the way the High Lord’s eyes shone with something other than mirth as he looked closer at the scholar… as he inspected your facade the same way Azriel had been for the past week. 

“When can I leave?” 

Something in Azriel scratched to a halt. “She’s to go alone?” 

Feyre offered the spymaster a soft smile from the other side of the table. “If she wishes. Helion’s invitation was open-ended.” 

“Take the vacation, I say,” Mor piped in, wine glass raised in a solitary toast. 

“Or… you could take me,” Cassian grinned beside you, jostling you in a playful grip. 

You sent a scoff his way. “Aren’t you banned?” 

“No, actually. I’m banned from Summer Court, which is completely unrelated.” 

A short laugh trickled from your lips. It wasn’t a full one, not like the ones Azriel was so used to—the ones he basked in—but it was a laugh, nonetheless.

He felt the way his eyes seemed to follow the crescendo of it, his blinks in time with the sweet sound. 

He committed it to memory. 

“Right, well let’s keep you away from neighboring courts as much as possible so we can avoid a repeat of that, okay?” 

Something like a grin fought at the side of Azriel’s mouth at your quip. 

Cassian prattled on. Something about unjust rules or ridiculous high lords—Azriel wasn’t paying attention. He was too caught up in you and the way you were so close to meeting his gaze. 

“Perhaps she shouldn’t go alone,” Azriel spoke up, interrupting his brother’s spiel. You still didn’t look at him, instead turning to catch Rhys’s response. 

“Azriel, I can assure you this is a safe visit,” Rhys offered. He knew. Everyone seemed to know but you. “It’s hardly even business. It’s more of a vacation. I’ve been shoving century-old relics in her face for the past few months. She deserves time to herself, don’t you think?” 

His High Lord was speaking in code. A terrible, frustrating code that really meant, “give her some distance.” 

Azriel had had enough of distance. 

He nodded his head all the same. 

And then, despite all odds, you looked at him. 

You looked at him and it was as if the air had been knocked from his lungs. As if he had been wrung out and stretched thin and every bone in his body forced him to sit up straighter. You were looking at him and Azriel couldn’t conceptualize the way the spectrum in his chest moved so quickly from utter relief to the brink of desolation. 

Because you looked at him as if you were broken. A sad—such a sad—smile graced your face, one he had never had the displeasure of seeing before, and he wanted to wipe it away. He wanted to kiss it from your face with soft touches and reassuring whispers and that was startling for Azriel because he usually kept his overwhelming urge to kiss you at bay. 

“I’ll bring you back a souvenir,” is all you said. Such simple words to accompany an expression that sent him reeling. 

“Thank you,” he replied, with the most sincerity he could muster. 

And then he held your gaze as it became downcast. He craned his neck to catch every last second of your eyes as they turned back down to the table.

It was hours later that Azriel found himself in the townhouse, boots creating an indent in the office carpet. Rhys sat just feet away from him, leaning back against the desk, waiting for the Shadowsinger to erupt. 

“I would like for you to position your spies further into Autumn. I know you have a few that have integrated into the court, but I need more intel on Eris and his plans.” 

“Of course.” 

“You can take out any currently residing in Day. Just for the next week or so. With y/n going, she can report any happenings.” 

A muscle in Azriel’s jaw jumped. “Would that be wise?” 

Rhys stared back at his brother, expression giving nothing away. “Why wouldn’t it be? Do you not trust y/n’s word?” 

Azriel’s wings were taut against his back. In truth, he hadn’t felt relaxed in days. With you leaving, that tension would surely pull him into thin compliance. 

“Obviously I trust her word, Rhysand.” 

“Rhysand? What have I done to earn your grievance?” the High Lord asked, crossing his arms over his chest, still the perfect picture of calm. 

Azriel was a juxtaposition before him as he clenched his hands and replied, “You already know.” 

“Do I know? I’m not sure you’ve been clear or honest with anyone. Y/n especially.” 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” 

Rhys bent at the elbow and rubbed a restless hand across his jaw. Azriel ignored the movement in favor of holding eye contact with the High Lord. Azriel was being stubborn, he knew that, but there was no other way to be. 

He needed to be consistent and reliable. He needed to be a pillar for his family to lean on, and you were part of that. He wasn’t going to take that away from you—to be selfish and call upon a mating bond you hadn't even been made aware of yet. 

He wasn’t going to squander your friendship in the hopes of something more. 

There was a chance, no matter how much the prospect pained him to consider, that you wouldn’t want the bond. You had never hinted at wanting more with the spymaster, so there was no telling how you might react to the cauldron blessing you with a union. You could reject it, and with it would go your friendship. 

Just the thought sent ice through Azriel’s veins. 

Truth be told, he had never shown you many signs either. When the bond snapped months ago, it had taken time for Azriel to come to terms with the truth. He had ruminated on it amidst many sleepless nights, watched you from a new perspective over many dinners, and contemplated the path that had led him to you. 

And then he had regretted. Cauldron had he regretted. 

The feeling still lingered, a reminder of each woman he had taken to his bed before you. All of the fae that had meant nothing, and even the ones that had boarded on something, he wished he could do away with.

Because you had been privy to them all. He knew you had witnessed a few late-night trysts, and even worse, that you had watched him pine after Mor for a century. It all seemed so frivolous now; it all paled in comparison to you. 

And the absolute worst part of it all is that he knew. 

He knew how easy it would be to fall in love with you from the start, so he pretended not to notice. 

He threw himself into impractical longing and meaningless lovers and he pretended that it didn’t hurt to look at you. 

The bond had only cemented his foolishness. 

He hardly had a chance with you by the time it snapped. 

“Late night then, Az?” 

You had teased him over breakfast just days before the bond had snapped for him, a small smile on your face as you lounged at the table early in the morning. At the time, Azriel had bit the inside of his cheek and reeled in his snarkiness. He had avoided your gaze, avoided the robe that barely covered your nightgown, and made himself toast in silence. He had already coaxed the blonde fae out of his bed, and he hadn’t needed a reminder of the woman he had been imagining all throughout the night. 

Because that had been something else he opted to ignore—that he pictured you, imagined you, at all times. 

It snapped three days later. He had been accompanying you through Velaris. “Shopping for fun,” you had said, “and I hate to go alone.”

The only thing Azriel had taken home that day was a gaping hole in his chest and the knowledge that lying to himself had brought him nothing but pain. 

The months following were different. 

Everything was different. 

But for you, he had come to the grim realization, nothing was different at all. He was still Azriel, your friend Azriel, who was secretive and private and cared from afar. You still pictured him as a man who chose his lovers based on convenience and quick practicality even though he hadn’t so much as looked at another woman since your emotions began flowing through his chest. 

Gods, your emotions. They were so positive, so addicting, he could sit back and live his days through you until the end of time. You had so much unrestricted joy coursing through you—so much curiosity and delight. Part of Azriel dreaded the day you did recognize the bond; it would dim the connection to you.

That day in the library had been the first time the bond had chafed against his lungs. He had felt the earthquake beneath his feet and thought nothing of it, but then your fear punctured his being and he had run so fast his wings ached. 

And then you started having nightmares, ones he couldn’t fix, and Azriel began to feel like he was losing you. Like the bond was withering and eroding within him and you along with it. 

“How long, Azriel?” Rhys’s voice cut through the air with a harshness. 

The shadowsinger breathed through his nose, jaw tight. 

“Tell me. Tell me how long you’re going to keep this up for.” 

“You don’t understand, Rhys,” came Azriel’s low reply. “None of you do.” 

The High Lord scoffed. “Right, because I had it so easy with Feyre. Az, mates are complicated—” 

“Don’t,” Azriel breathed. A dangerous shakiness accompanied the word.

“Explain it to me. Help me to understand how—” 

“There was nothing for you to lose!” The rise of the shadowsinger’s voice sent Rhys into silence. “There was nothing! You hadn’t known Feyre for three centuries—hadn’t known what it was like to see her cry over worthless males or laugh until she was doubled over. You didn’t have time to memorize the sound of her voice or understand how it felt to lose that small piece of her. Because she won’t even talk to me anymore and—” 

Azriel cut himself off, moving for the first time since he entered office. He paced, the motion of his feet doing little to dispel the tension from the air or from his body. Azriel tugged a hand through his hair, his shadows following the aggressive pull and weaving through the strands. 

“How long?” Rhys asked again, but this time, Azriel knew that he was asking a different question. One that even he himself had avoided answering. 

The shadowsinger paused. His next words were tainted and his voice cracked. 

“I think forever.”

Part 4

[evie-sturns]

Matt Sturniolo Boyfriend Imagines

-—————————————༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶——————————————-

warnings: NSFW near the end! mentions of anxiety, nothing else really just cute fluff

summary: cute lil imagines if you were dating matt!!

-—————————————༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶——————————————-

this man’s whole camera roll would be you, he’d take pictures of you whenever he thought you looked cute and would sometimes set them as his phone wallpaper

he would 100% buy you whatever you wanted, you need a new bag? he will have it sitting on your bed in under an hour, he loooves to spend money on you to show how much he loves you

you would def have to be the person in the relationship who says “i love you” first because he’s shy and doesn’t know how to tell you/doesn’t know when the right time is and doesn’t want to scare you off

he doesn’t show it but he definitely loves resting on your chest and being held by you when you two fall asleep together 😭, but he definitely also loves to hold you and cuddle you

he makes absolute DISASTERS in the kitchen but he serves them up proudly and you have to pretend it’s good - “here we are baby! finally finished the dinner”… “oh matt it looks awesome! but what are those, uh.. clumps?”

when he has anxiety attacks he shuts down and locks himself in the bathroom to calm down, so you just have to knock softly on the door and wait outside until he’s ready to let you into the bathroom to comfort him and calm him down as you guys just sit on the bathroom floor

if your ever struggling or sad this man gets INSANELY touchy, like he will come over to your house and just lightly rub your thy and back, or trace circles on your forearms. whatever he can do to let you know he’s here and listening he will do.

if you two get into an argument he will always apologise first no matter who’s in the wrong, like he will show up to your front door with puffy eyes holding a bunch of flowers and you have no choice but to forgive him, like how couldn’t you with him looking in your eyes for forgiveness as his hand shakes

——————————————————————————

NSFW!

the first time you two hook up with each other he would definitely praise you and guide you through it the whole time, he would maintain some of his self control and go gently so he doesn’t hurt you

he hates choking/rough hair pulling because he wants to make sure you aren’t being hurt or uncomfortable so he makes sure to only hold your hair sosososo gently

after you guys have fucked a few times he would establish a safe word, and as soon as you have one he would go crazy when you guys are fucking, he would 100% slam into you when he’s getting close but then feel guilty after as he looks at your shaking legs spread across the bed

this man is the literal definition of aftercare, after he fucks you hard he would rub your back and tell you how good you took him, and he would carry you bridal style to the restroom and lay you down in the bath, grab a warm damp towel and gently rub the insides of your legs gently and check that your okay “are you sure i didn’t go to hard? did i hurt you baby?”

he would defo PANIC if he accidentally cums inside of you, even if you were on birth control he’s super afraid of getting you pregnant, you would have to assure him hundreds of times that it’s okay 😭😭

after he cleans you up after sex he would bathe you, dress you, and put you in bed, he wants to make sure your comfortable and satisfied afterwards, then he would hold you tight as he crawls into bed beside you and give you more words of affirmation “you took me so well baby” “you did so good” “i’m so proud of you sweetheart” as he rubs the inside of your thigh

if you got on top he would instantly switch to sub as he watches you bounce on him, like this man would me whining, groaning, whimpering mess as he digs his hands into your waist to guide you up and down

that’s all!! y’all lmk if you want a chris version:)

[gh0stsp1d3r]

hiii! i hope ur doing well, if you wanna can u do a luke castellan x gn!reader fic, maybe jealous luke??

𝒥ℯ𝒶𝓁ℴ𝓊𝓈𝓎

A/n: i love jealous bfs anon mwah

Warnings: jealousy, luke gets in a fight, mentions of blood, overprotective luke in here as well, Luke is the god of daddy issues, abandonment issues

You knew Luke was a jealous person- he just managed to hide it very, very well. Usually, you calmed his rage and sadness by reassuring him that he was the only one you wanted.

But this jerk would not stop talking to you. It’s been 40 minutes, and no matter what Luke did he would not stop, and Luke suddenly entered that rage that where he had no clue what he was doing as he stepped forward.

Throwing his cup down, pushing past the partygoers, and making his way towards you. His jaw clenched as he set his eyes on the man, how much he just wanted to squeeze the fucking life out of him. He wanted to see the man suffer.

You noticed Luke, and you were going to stop him, but there was no stopping Luke when it came to you. He landed a punch on the man, the man groaned.

“What the fuck, man? What’s wrong with y-?” The campers came over and formed a circle, none of them dared to try and stop Luke, knowing that if they tried they would probably get punched.

“Luke!” You yelled, desperately trying to pull him off the man. Luke continued landing blows on the man’s face, it was bloody, and you finally managed to get Luke to stop after a little.

“Jesus, Fucking..”

Of course the man’s wounds had healed, he was a child of Hades, Luke soon recognized.

The man went to attack Luke now, but you just grabbed Luke’s hand, pulling on it. You both darted out of the party, seeing Chiron making his way there to see what all the noise was.

“Luke, what the fuck is wrong with you?” You asked him, breathless as you hid behind your cabin.

“He was flirting with you! You both were talking for like 40 minutes!”

“He wasn’t flirting with me.” You shook your head rapidly. You noticed him gripping onto his bloodied and bruised hand.

“I know he was, I know how guys like him think.” His raised voice faltered as you softly grabbed his wrist, examining his wounds.

“Oh, Luke.” You mumbled.

“I’m fine.” He grabbed his hand away, and you just looked at him again.

“Even if he was flirting with me, why would you do that?”

He stayed silent for a moment. Tears welled in his eyes, begging to be let out.

“Because, what if you left with him?” He admitted it quietly, you sighed and shook your head, your hand reached up to his face, and you ran a thumb over his scar. His other hand reached up to grab your hand.

His abandonment issues. Most of it is rooted in his dad, leaving Luke when he needed him the most. He’s terrified at the thought of losing you too.

“I would never. I’ve told you this so many times, Luke, I love you and only you. I would never want to leave with anyone other than you. Okay? So, next time, just talk about it with me. Don’t go punching people.” You whispered the words quietly.

He laughed and nodded. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not me you should be apologizing to.”

“I’ll apologize to him. But I’m sorry.”

“You’re forgiven. Let’s go clean up that, okay?”

[cranberryjuice-posts]

I loved your stories with Clarisse. I wanted to know if I could do one where Reader is a daughter of Nemesis. Normally very quiet and "calm", to the point that many don't understand how she and Clarisse work out. But one day, some campers set up an ambush for Clarisse in the capture the flag and she ends up getting hurt. Even though Clarisse doesn't care much, Reader comes up with a plan worthy of Annabeth's surprise, and takes revenge on the campers who hurt her girlfriend. Everyone knew it was her, but there was no concrete proof so she gets away with it.

RAHH‼️‼️

I’m not your friend

Pairings - Clarisse La Rue x Fem! Daughter of nemesis! Reader

An - im Actually loving all these request also i didnt add much of the song to the fic bc low-key i forgot that was the song I choose but it’s ok I’m just a girl

Palestine help links

The conch shell rang loudly. You looked up and sighed, finishing tying your shoes you grabbed your weapon of choice before heading towards your spot at flag patrol.

Clarisse ran past you but stopped. She gently grabbed your waist, kissing you she grinned. “Feel like a winning day?”

“Maybe” You mumbled with a smile. Clarisse kissed you one last time for ‘good luck’ before she ran off to do some hunting.

Many campers were confused about your relationshp. Clarisse who was an arrogant and abrasive girl who had to much pride for her own good, managed to end up dating you a calm collected and quiet daughter of nemesis. Some figured your gentle nature just happened to balance out clarisse chaotic one.

——

You aimlessly walked in circles around the flag with the other kid who was patrolling with you doing the same. You stepped on a twig which made a loud snap, you felt an over whelming sense of anxiety. Your kiss earlier for good luck had also connected you and clarisse both in battle a gift you had inherited from your mother.

You grabbed your weapon that was sitting on a near by rock quickly. “Where are you going!” The kid who was patrolling with you yelled as you ran off.

Soon you found clarisse sitting against a tree wincing in pain as her sibling was adjusting her arm into a sling.

“What happened” You anxiously dropped by clarisse moving some curls out of her face. “Fucking Athena kid made some dumbass trap” clarisse nodded her head as a signal for her siblings, they moved her arm fast making her yell a string of insults in Greek. After a few minutes she panted as the pain subsided “Sprained my arm but it’s fine, i can still fight”

“No Your not” You sternly spoke.

“It’s whatever just a sprained arm I’ll live, can’t say the same for that Athena bitch though” clarisse muttered under her breath.

You looked up at her siblings and gave them a look which they understood was ‘don’t let her leave from here’. The kids looked at eachother but kept quiet, you leaned over and kissed clarisse. “Stay here ok.. 20 minutes and if I win the game you will take a break for a few days ok”

Clarisse grinned at the bet “and if you don’t?”

“You’ll get my meats for the next month”

“Fine”

——

You spent the next ten minutes getting caught. You get caught then you had the advantage in setting your trap.

Luke tossed you down with a small pile of kids one of which was your brother Ethan. You pretended to be sad and dissaptioned using your clean record charm to your advantage.

“Sorry y/n It’s Nothing Personal Just fun and games” Luke gave you his same old sarcastic smile.

“No it’s ok I get it” you shrugged your shoulders. Waiting for him to walk away you turned to Ethan. “You set the ropes right?” You leaned over and whispered

“Yeah did everything like you asked” he muttered while glaring up at the blue team kid who’s as standing guard over the captured kids.

It took about 10 minutes until you heard a loud commotion, with that you had knocked out the solider standing guard stole the flag and ran off to the lakes shore.

——

The final conch rang signaling your teams victory. Clarisse rolled her eyes as she walked over towards you shaking her head at your dumb sarcastic grin. As your group celebrated, the blue team walked over with Chiron in tow.

“Her fucking y/n she’s the one who set up that damn trap” Liam a Hermes kid pointed at you accusingly you however remained innioncent.

“What trap?” You played it off.

“Oh you little—“ liam started to get into your face but clarisse immeaditly stepped in. Chiron however put his arm inbetween the two to keep things cordial.

“How about you tell me what the trap was” the centaur looked down at the angry kid. He had been scuffed up pretty bad with a few bleeding cuts of his own.

“It was a Large rope scheme, we stepped into our safe zone and boom a loud explosion of green fire went off before we could leave more went off getting practically all of our team surrounded in Greek fire, then once we got free half of us were swept up into the tree upside down by that point the flag had been taken and now we’re here and I know it was y/n because… well I can’t actually prove it but I know it was her!” 

You kept your innocent appearance with a small smile still denying the accusations.

“I’m sorry Liam but if there’s no solid proof I can’t do anything, as far as I see y/n is innocent” Chiron sighed while setting a comforting arm on his shoulder. The kid scoffed and stormed away, as everybody cleared off you smiled at clarisse giving her a kiss. “So about the bet” you grinned.

“Shut up” she laughed but kissed you back. In the corner of your eye you saw annabeth chase of all people walking over to you.

She stopped infront of you with a serious expression. You raised an eyebrow confused but waited for her to speak. “I know you set that trap, and I know you made sure not to leave an evidence you did it. Next time you wont be so lucky” she crossed her arms, you knew annabeth was a force to be reckoned with and crossing her was a bad idea. “But you have my respect that was a good trick you pulled today. Enjoy your celebratory dinner” she sighed before walking away.

You looked back at clarisse for a moment. You smiled wide at her laughing at her pretend agitated face at the fact you had won and clarisse ultimate lost.

“You know” clarisse started while walking back to the dining hall with you. “It’s kinda hot how you managed to fuck up a bunch of kids just because I got hurt, don’t tell me your over protective”

“Shut up clarisse”

Clarisse - this is bullshit

Y/n - you lost now you have to rest for a week

Clarisse - again this is bull shit

———

[parkerslatte]

So Loved

Eris Vanserra x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 1.2k

Warnings: allusions to parental abuse

Summary: Y/N wakes up alone in the middle of the night. She finds Eris quietly talking to their son.

A Court of Thorns and Roses Masterlist

•••

The left side of the bed was vacant when Y/N reached across to the usual warmth of her husband. She cracked one eye open. The only light in the bedroom was filtered through the lace curtain. The bed was still warm, meaning Eris hadn’t left long ago. 

Y/N sat up in the bed and stretched her body. There were faint whispers coming from the room right next to theirs. A tired smile stretched across Y/N’s face. She slowly manoeuvred to the side of the bed and slipped her feet into the floor, shivering in the process as the cold air hit her. Her silk nightgown did nothing to shield her from the cold. 

Folding her arms across her chest, Y/N stood up and walked out of their bedroom. The door was always open a crack just in case they heard anything in the night. Nowadays Eris was a light sleeper and with any noise coming from the other room, he was already up and checking that everything was okay. 

The whispers were louder now that Y/N was in the hall. Their house was small and deep in the woods. Despite now being High Lord, Eris preferred to live in a small cottage only surrounded by a few trusted individuals opposed to the Autumn Palace. He preferred the simplicity of it all. 

As Y/N stood in the threshold of the room, she smiled and leaned against the doorway. Eris was sitting in the chair next to their son’s cot, gently cradling him to his chest. 

“I don’t know how I got so lucky with you,” Eris whispered. “You are perfect.”

Y/N leaned against the doorway and watched the scene unfold, her heart swelling twice its size. 

“You are going to grow up so loved,” Eris said. “You will have everything I didn’t have growing up. You could tell me that you want the moon on a string and I would give it to you.”

“I don’t need you spoiling our child more than you already have,” Y/N teased, gliding into the room. “He’s not even eight months old yet.”

Eris tilted his head to Y/N and smiled and there was nothing but love in that smile. 

“How long have you been standing there?” Eris asked. 

“Not long,” Y/N replied, draping herself over the back of the chair and wrapping her arms around Eris and their son. “I turned over and realised that you were gone. There was only one place you would be.”

Eris smiled, pressing a kiss to Y/N’s cheek then on to his son’s head. “I’m sorry if I woke you.”

“You didn’t,” Y/N replied, her fingers reaching out to her son. Even in his sleep, he gripped onto them. 

“How is he so perfect?” Eris whispered. 

“That’s easy,” Y/N replied. “You are his father.”

Eris scoffed quietly. “Have you met his mother?”

Y/N giggled and pressed a kiss to Eris’s cheek before nesting her head into the crook of his neck.

The small family simply enjoyed the small moment of silence. Nothing could harm them and everything was perfect. 

Eris was the first to break it. “I had a nightmare.”

Y/N stiffened. “Oh my love, are you okay?”

Eris smiled at the affection. “I am now.”

“What was it about?”

Eris sighed, hugging his child closer to his chest. “It was about all of us, many years from now. Theon was grown up, he was about ten or so. He looked so much like you.”

Y/N hugged him a little tighter, her lips ghosting his neck. 

“The dream started off good but I soon began to act like my father. I dismissed Theon and was vile toward him,” Eris said, his voice laced in sadness. “I said horrible things and it made me think…what if I do turn out like him? What if I’m simply doomed to repeat my fathers abuse?”

Y/N released Eris and circled around until she was in front of him. She pulled the second chair closer and sat down, her hands reaching out to caress his arm. 

“Eris, listen to me when I say that you are nothing like him. Nothing like him,” Y/N said. “You are the most perfect, loving father in the whole of Prynthian. The amount of love you gave in your heart for your son is astronomical. You are nothing like that bastard that raised you– and you won’t be. You never will be.”

With one hand, Eris laced their fingers together as he looked at Y/N. The emotion on his face was unreadable but Y/N could tell that her words had touched him. 

“Theon is so loved, by you and by me,” Y/N said, lifting Eris’s hand to press a gentle kiss against his knuckles. “You moved us out into the woods just so he doesn’t need to grow up under the influence of the rest of the court. You were the one who said you wanted him to have a normal childhood without the constant training until he reaches maturity. You want him to be a normal kid, a happy kid. You have already given him so much love and care and he is not even a year old. You could never be like your father because you, Eris Vanserra, are a good male.”

Eris’s eyes glistened with tears as he kissed his son on his head, the red locks the same shade as his father. 

“I love you both so much,” Eris whispered. “I never thought I would be granted such a life.”

Y/N stood to her feet and pressed a kiss against her son’s head and then Eris’s cheek. “Well you have, and best believe that you deserve it, Eris.”

Stepping back from the chair Eris was sitting in, Y/N folded her arms across her chest. “I’m going back to bed. You can join me whenever you are ready.”

Once Y/N was standing in the threshold of the doorway, she looked back at her son and Eris and wished she could capture this moment in time. Y/N continued down to her and Eris’s bedroom and entered it, her bed calling to her. As she began to settle down, Eris slipped in and climbed onto the bed. 

“I thought you would have stayed with him longer?” Y/N said, as Eris pulled her back against his chest, intertwining their fingers. Y/N instantly felt warmer. 

“He opened his eyes just after you left and seemed pretty pissed that I disturbed his sleep,” Eris muttered, amusement in his tone. 

“I would be pretty pissed if you disturbed my sleep too,” Y/N jokes, pulling Eris’s arm tighter around her body. 

Eris kissed her head. “I see where he gets it from.”

Y/N smiled and closed her eyes. “I love you, Eris.”

“I love you too, Y/N,” Eris replied. “Thank you for giving me the son I never thought I could have.”

Y/N nuzzled further into Eris's warmth. “When he wakes up grouchy tomorrow because you disturbed his sleep, you will wish he was not your son.”

Eris laughed quietly. “Impossible, because the amount of love I have for him is more than I thought I could hold in my heart. Even if he is grouchy in the morning.”

Y/N hummed in amusement. Before she knew it she fell asleep peacefully in Eris’s arms and dreamt about their small, perfect family.

[cieloclercs]

Could you do a Oscar Piastri x verstappen!youngersister

secret glances, eyes talk of love — oscar piastri

pairings: oscar piastri x verstappen!reader

warnings. started out as fluff but it sort of turned into angst along the way?? not like superrr angsty but it’s definitely sad vibes

word count. 1.2k

author’s note. hi anon! thank you so much for the request <3 i loved writing this concept! ps, i’d definitely be open to doing a part 2 if anyone is interested 👀

Decked out in a Red Bull jacket and cap, it's a wonder no one outside the McLaren garages notices you. Maybe you've grown so used to sneaking around that it now comes as second nature. It's been like this since the start of the season: the secret kisses in quiet corners, making up excuses to get away from the Red Bull garage (and your over-protective brother), and, of course, your fair share of close calls. You aren't exactly inconspicuous in the paddock. There are eyes following you almost everywhere you go — but over time, you've learnt to avoid them. You can only thank your lucky stars no one seems to have caught on yet.

Sometimes you wish it didn't have to be this way; that you could be like any other normal couple on the grid. Kiss him when he triumphs, comfort him when he falls. The feeling can grow intense, especially after a day like today. You have to watch him on the podium like any other supposedly indifferent onlooker, pretending that your cheers are only for your brother on the top step. Oscar's first top-three finish in Formula 1 (albeit in a sprint race) is by no means insignificant, and all you want to do is pull him into you over the railing and kiss him. But you can't. Not here, not with your brother and father, and the whole world watching. You've already agreed that keeping your relationship a secret is best for the both of you. Yet that doesn't stop you from wishing for more.

Instead, you’re left to sneak into his driver’s room as soon as your brother’s back is turned. He’s caught up in the media pen, chatting with Charles. Another thing you’ve learnt over the past six months is never to miss an opportunity when it presents itself – this is as good as any you’ll ever find, because Max is talkative at the best of times, but even more so when his childhood rival is around. You leave them somewhere between ‘safety car restart’ and ‘left-hand tyre degradation’. He won’t even notice you’re gone.

Oscar is halfway out of his suit when you arrive. His back faces you, covered only by his white fireproofs. You can see every move of his muscles beneath them. You murmur a soft greeting as you step into the room and close the door behind you, heart lifting to see him turn to you and grin. To the world, you know Oscar will appear calm and level-headed about his result – but with you, in private, he’s as happy as a puppy dog being given his favourite treat.

“I’m so proud of you, baby.” You whisper into his shoulder as he wraps you up into a hug. “You drove so well.”

His lips curve upwards, and you feel it against the skin of your neck. Oscar’s hands fall instinctively to your hips when you pull away, rubbing slow circles that he probably doesn’t realise leave burning trails against your flesh. You loop your arms around his broad shoulders, playing with the short hairs at the nape of his neck, just as he likes. He lets out a contented sigh.

“I panicked at the restart.” Oscar smiles down at you sheepishly. You roll your eyes. It’s typical of him – always so critical, even when he’s just produced one of the best rookie performances in Formula 1 for years. Sometimes you wish he could see himself the way you see him. Then maybe he’d celebrate a little harder, look a little prouder when things finally start paying off for him. It’s not that he isn’t confident – but Oscar’s confidence is the quiet, self-assured kind. Sometimes you just wish he would shout from the rooftops about how incredible he is: because if you can’t do it, then you need someone to.

“It doesn’t matter.” You tell him firmly, “No one was going to be able to hold off that rocket ship. Not even you.”

He giggles at the term. It’s such a lovely sound, you think. Your favourite in the entire world.

“D’you think you can get him to slow down a bit? Give the rest of us a chance?” Oscar asks, arching an eyebrow mischievously. You grin back, a little reluctant to shake your head.

“I wish I could, but he’s just not wired that way.” You sigh. It morphs into a giggle when he grips your waist tighter, pulling you into his chest. You look up, and he’s already gazing down at you expectantly. His hair is still a little sweaty from his balaclava, but you find you like it that way. He has the cutest little ringlet sticking out from the rest of his relatively tame curls. You fight the urge to tug on it.

“You still haven’t given me a kiss.” Oscar remarks with another cheeky raise of his eyebrows. He leans forward, puckering his lips the slightest bit, and you laugh, louder this time.

“You’re such a dork.” You snort. But you press your lips to his anyway. Somehow, they always taste like some kind of citrus fruit – what exactly you can’t put your finger on. It overwhelms you, clouding your mind and your senses, making your knees weak. They’re soft too, his lips, like pillows. You can feel him smile into your mouth, swallowing your soft sighs. It’s not fair, you think, that a person can make you feel this way with just a kiss; not fair that you’re grappling at his shoulders for support, afraid your knees are going to give out if you don’t. He never lets you fall though. His arms are always there, pulling you in, crowding you against the wall, in your hair, all over your body, lighting every inch of it on fire.

Then there’s a knock on the door, and the spell is broken.

You turn towards the sound, breathing heavily. Oscar glances at you, with a look that reads keep quiet. He clears his throat, calling through to whoever is stood outside his driver’s room.

“What is it?” he croaks.

There’s some shuffling from the other side of the door. Then: “Uh – Team meeting in ten minutes.” The person says. Oscar calls back some kind of affirmation, but you don’t hear it. That feeling is back. The one where you long not to hide in secrecy. It’s so unfair that he makes you feel so safe, so loved, and you can’t even show it to the rest of the world. You want people to know that he’s yours.

“You ok?” Oscar asks after a beat of silence. Your eyes find his, and you nod. I will be, maybe, you think. You want to tell him that you’re sick of hiding, but you’re not sure how he’ll take it. You both have a lot at stake. What if he can only love you in secret, never in front of the world?

He kisses you goodbye, and you allow yourself to believe that’s not the case. Oscar isn’t shy about his affections – he’s soft and he’s clingy and his eyes when he looks at you are full of love. They’re your own reflected straight back at you. One day you’ll walk into the paddock, and it’ll be with his hand in yours. You swear it.

But if he doesn’t want that, a life in the shadows is surely better than a life without him.

[mountttmase]

Damage Is Done

Note - a bit of Sunday evening pain for you all inspired by this TikTok. I really hope you enjoy this and I would really appreciate some feedback as I need some motivation 😭. Thank you my loves 🩷

Pairing - Mason Mount × Reader

Word count - 10K

Warnings - Angst and fluff

Here we go

Never had those words had so much meaning before. You felt sick to your stomach as soon as you’d seen them and the waves of uneasiness were rolling through you until you felt suffocated.

You knew it was a possibility but you also knew it wasn’t 100% what your boyfriend of 10 months wanted so you were holding out hope things would change. After every rejected offer a little bit of hope filled your heart that he would be sticking around but this had hit you like a truck as you knew what it meant for the pair of you.

Stupidly enough, you and Mason hadn’t spoken about the possible move. You wanted to be his safe place and whilst you knew what was going on, you kept that topic at the back of your minds but as the months had passed you were wondering if he was keeping you away on purpose. Maybe if once his life changed that meant you no longer were a part of it and the thought was eating you up inside.

There wasn’t much to do but you made sure to tidy the place up a little as a distraction. You knew this was about to be a hard conversation and before you had time to even think about it anymore your buzzer was ringing.

You opened the entrance for him without a word before going to open your door and he was rounding the corner into view. You couldn’t tell what expression he was wearing and you were hoping yours was neutral and when he wrapped you up in his arms on your doorstep and you held onto him as tightly as you could.

You both didn’t move for a while, just held each other and you could feel him relaxing in your arms as your eyes filled with tears. He smelt more like Mason than he ever had and you breathed in his delicious scent before he pulled back slightly so he could drop a kiss on your forehead.

It was clear to see how much lighter he looked, the dark clouds that had been following him around for the last few months had finally made way for the sunshine and you could see the relief sparking in his warm eyes.

‘I take it you’ve seen it’ he whispered, rubbing up and down your back soothingly as you nodded whilst trying to keep your face blank.

‘Let’s go sit’ you whispered, nodding over to your sofa and you let him wonder over so you could shut the door before joining him. He sat down with a thump, his hoodie thrown on the arm of the chair next to him before he opened his arms for you. You knew it wasn’t a good idea but you let yourself melt into him, tucking yourself into his body as you held each other again but his thumb that was slowly stroking across your cheek made you look up at him.

You let him kiss you, gripping onto his shoulders for dear life, trying to memorise the feel of his lips against yours as you weren’t sure how things were about to play out. You wanted the feel of them tattooed on your brain as he softly brushed his tongue against yours but the playful bite of your bottom lip made you smile. It didn’t feel like a goodbye kiss but in your mind all the signs seemed to be pointing that way.

‘How are you feeling?’ You asked him a few moments after, trying to change the subject as your hands rested on his chest whilst his circled around your waist and you could tell even though he was happy he was still a little conflicted

‘I’m not sure, a mix of stuff really. Exhausted but relived. Sad things are over but excited to start over somewhere new. What about you?’

You didn’t know how to answer, burying your head into his neck as he just held you. His words confused you as you weren’t sure why he wanted you to know he was excited to start over without you.

‘It’s okay bubs. You don’t have to worry about anything’ he whispered, kissing your temple lightly. ‘I know it’s a lot and I don’t expect you to drop everything just for me’

There it was, the moment you’d been waiting for. Mason confining had had no intentions of taking you with him or even asking you what you wanted. he was quite happy for you to stay here and be without him. It stung to hear the words finally coming from him though and you gulped down the upset feeling rising in your tummy at that fact he’d made his mind up for the both of you.

‘I should of known this was coming’ you laughed, pulling away from him

‘Wait what?’ He whispered, his brows furrowing as he cocked his head to the side. ‘What’s going on?’

‘I take it you only came to get your stuff? There’s no need for a big goodbye you can just go’ you told him, wanting him out so you could be in your own.

‘What the fuck are you talking about?’

‘You’re leaving, so go’

‘Why are you being like this? I thought-‘

‘Whatever you thought, you thought wrong. You haven’t spoken to me at all about this whole thing and now you’re just moving on. It’s fine I saw it coming a mile off’ you told him, standing up as you knew you were getting angry and upset. You knew you were being a little unreasonable but the fact he hadn’t involved you in any of his transfer or move hurt and you didn’t want to hear him out.

You’d been his distraction throughout all these hard months, but now you were wondering if that’s all you were to him. Now he was through it he was off to start his new life without you and it stung more than you ever thought it could.

‘I can’t believe you. After everything we’ve been through your just gonna chuck me out like this. Without even talking about it?’

‘What’s to talk about? You’ve made your mind up. You wanna leave so leave’

‘I don’t have a choice’ he shouted, standing up to face you but you refused to back down. You didn’t have a reply, unsure as to why he was so upset as he’d said himself he didn’t expect you to follow him so you continued watching him, wondering if you’d get anymore sense out but the small shake of his head made you realise you wouldn’t.

‘I’m going’ he suddenly snapped, walking towards the door without a second look back at you, flinching as you heard the door slam behind him.

This wasn’t how you were expecting things to go, unsure as to why Mason so upset as he’d gotten what he wanted but his reaction had left you feeling a little uneasy so you sat yourself back down in your sofa to take some breaths and clear your mind.

To say Mason was confused would be an understatement.

He’d arrived at your house for the comfort only you could give him but you’d been cold and dismissive as soon as he’d bought the move up and he couldn’t figure out why.

He was ready to reassure you that the pair of you would be fine. That he knew you couldn’t leave right away but he’d make sure the pair of you were looked after and he’d have things ready for you when you could join him but he hadn’t got the chance to tell you. You were too quick to jump in and blame him for something he wasn’t quite sure of right this second.

He didn’t waste any time getting out of the car park though and racing back home, his mind replaying the conversation to try and figure out what had changed. Had he missed something? Did he say something unintentionally? The last few weeks had been a blur and he’d only felt his mind stop racing when he was in your arms so the interaction you’d just had confused the hell out of him.

Thankfully Woody was the only one at his house when he got there, the rest of his family still on the way up, but Woody knew something was wrong immediately.

‘I think she’s just ended things with me, mate’ Mason told him, recounting the whole conversation as Woody listened and tried to see things from your side but he was just as confused as Mason was.

‘Maybe have a day to cool down and message her tomorrow or something?’ He reasoned and mason agreed. Hoping tomorrow he could clear the air slightly and maybe get to the bottom of everything.

The next morning after a fairly awful nights sleep he got to crafting a message for you. He was still hurt and angry and also feeling a little petty about the whole thing so against his better judgment he said somethings he didn’t mean. Hoping to grab your attention and make you want to talk things through but as soon as he hit sent he wondered if he should consulted Woody first.

You were just putting your washing up away when you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket, fishing it out to reveal Masons name and your heart thudded in your chest at what me might have to say to you. Hoping it would be an apology but you weren’t prepared for what was written.

Was he joking?

You couldn’t even think of a reply, anger filling your mind at how he was making himself out to be the victim, saying his love wasn’t enough for you and to have a nice life. You were still furious with him for leaving you here so you replied in the most childish way you knew before switching your phone off.

Was she joking?

‘Woody, remind me to never take your advice again’

‘What you on about’ he laughed, catching Masons phone that he threw at him so he could read over the message.

‘Not the thumbs up. Damn, that girls cold’

‘That’s one fucking word for it’

‘Look at it this way, at least you know what she’s like now yeah?’

‘Well it’s a bit late now, I wished you would of warned me what she was like before you introduced me to her’ he huffed.

‘She’s never been like this before I swear’

‘I can’t believe I wanted her to move away with me’ Mason mumbled, taking his phone back so he could quickly block your number before throwing it to to the side of him.

This was so unlike you, so unlike what he thought you were and it had him looking back over your whole relationship to try and figure out if he’s missed something in your personality or been blinded by love to overlook all your awful qualities but he couldn’t think of anything. He knew you inside out and this wasn’t you.

You were always so warm and caring, one look from you always made his whole day better and it was breaking his heart that everything seemed to be tainted. His heart felt heavy in his chest as he tried to hold his emotions in and for the most part he had but the realisation that the person he’d placed all his bets on wasn’t who he thought they were made his eyes fill with tears so he face planted the sofa in hopes Woody wouldn’t notice.

The next night he wondered if he’d been too hasty, quickly unblocking your number so if you wanted to reach out to him you could but it seemed as though there was no need for it.

Two months passed and he didn’t hear from you.

He’d settled in up north pretty quickly, moving into a new house after he’d made it back from pre season tour and whilst he tried to make it into a home, it didn’t feel that way without you in it. He felt like a stranger rattling around in a huge house with no one to share it with but you were still silent on your end and he didn’t have the heart to reach out to try and speak to you to be shot down again.

He had no idea you were craving the same thing as he was though. You just wanted to speak to him but you were hurt at the way he’d moved on so quickly and your pride was keeping you away from him.

You couldn’t help but look out for him and how he was doing now, the bright smile on his face breaking your heart as he seemed so much happier without you and even though you were angry with him for not including you in his new life, you were yearning to be back in his presence. The hoodie he left the night you sent him away a constant reminder of what you once had and even though you’d hidden it away in the beginning, you found yourself wearing it more often than not in hopes you could feel close to him and hopefully it would heal your broken heart.

Nothing worked though, even popping to the local cafe where you and Mason would get breakfast as often as you could made you feel awful. You sat in the booth you always liked to go in to make yourself feel a bit closer to him but you just felt sad and even more alone. You were so stuck in a daze though you didn’t feel anyone come up and stand in front of you until they let out a little cough to snap you out of your trance.

‘Woody? What are you doing here?’

‘Could ask you the same question’ he replied, sitting himself opposite you. ‘You’ve been avoiding me’

‘Is that a question or a statement?’

‘It’s a fact’

He was right, you had been avoiding him. You’d known Woody for a few years and he’d introduced to you Mason in the first place but you didn’t have the heart to see him right now. He’d been your biggest supporter and you felt like you’d let him down with the way everything had ended. You knew he’d tried reaching out a few times but you didn’t have the energy or heart speak to him as he was too close to Mason.

‘I probably shouldn’t say this, but you were cold as fuck with that whole thumbs up thing’ he laughed and you felt your face heat up as he recounted the last bit of contact you and Mason had. ‘Like it was shit of you but I was impressed’

‘Shit of me? He’s the one that wanted to start a new life without me, it’s not like I’m gonna be polite to him after that am I?’

‘What are you on about?’ He asked, brows furrowed as he looked at you like you were speaking another language but you were tired of Woody thinking you were the bad guy.

‘Dont play dumb Woody. He had the whole move figured out and I was never a part of it, he basically said so himself’

‘What did he say exactly?’

‘That he doesn’t expect me to go with him. That he’s fine with me staying here’ you told him, watching his face fall into his hands before looking up at you with a bewildered expression.

‘You really are stupid sometimes you know that?’

‘What the hell? I know you’ve known him longer but I thought you’d at least sympathise with me’

‘Not when you’ve got the complete wrong end of the stick you doughnut. Sure, he didn’t expect you to drop your whole life and move with him then and there but when you were ready to join him he was making sure you’d have everything you need’

‘What?’

‘He didn’t want you to worry about any of that stuff, he was taking care of it so he could make sure you weren’t stressed. He knew moving would be a big deal for but he wanted you there with him so that’s why tried to take it on himself. When they were asking what sort of things he needed for his new place he said the only two things would be somewhere with an office so that when you came up after you’d sorted yourself out you’d have a place to work and somewhere close to the station so you could get to the office on the days you needed to’

‘But he never said that’ you whispered, a sinking feeling rushing through you that maybe you’d jumped the gun too quick, your bottom lip wobbling seemingly on its own and you thought back to that last conversation with him.

‘He never said it or you never gave him a chance to?’ He questioned and your body felt cold. ‘I know he probably wasn’t very forthcoming with it but I think he liked that he could forget all that stuff around you. You were like his little safe island where none of that mattered and I think he just presumed you’d go with him’

‘Oh god’ you breathed, reality now hitting you that you’d messed up ‘oh fuck no’ you whispered, grabbing your phone and heading straight to his number so you could call him but it didn’t even ring or give you the chance to leave a message. ‘He’s blocked me’

‘Can you blame him? You kinda went in on him a bit’ he smiled before reaching for your forearm. ‘Look, I’ll try and speak to him yeah? Let him know you got confused’

‘No it doesn’t matter’ you told him, shaking your head. ‘Damage is done now. I uh, I need to head off’ you told him, scrambling up from your seat but he was quick to get up too and pull you into a hug. You managed to hold it together with him but as soon as you were home you broke down.

You felt awful, this whole thing could of been fixed if you would if you would of just listened to him for a little longer but you didn’t let him and blew everything you had into pieces.

Woodys words were playing on your mind and had been for a whole week. Looking back, you now understood why he was he was so angry with you that night, you didn’t give him a chance to say his piece and made your mind up for yourself that he didn’t want you there. The dust had settled but there was no way of talking to him and no way resolution right now but all you could think about what what you would say to him if you got the chance.

It was Friday, you’d just got in from work and you felt like curling up into a ball and crying. Nothing had gone right all day and you were craving one of those hug only Mason could give you.

He was always so warm and welcoming, his hugs like no one else’s as they seemed to warm you from the inside and it’s like you could still feel him wrapped around you as you thought about him. Everything about him was perfect and you’d let him slip through your fingers with no real way of getting in contact with him as your number was blocked. All you could think about was him and holding him to the point where you couldn’t take it anymore.

It was like something inside you snapped. You were in your room in a flash to quickly pull a bag of clothes together before making your way to the train station. You didn’t think about any of it, just booked yourself a ticket and got on a train. The only thought in your head was going to find Mason so you could apologise and make him see sense but you were 20 minutes in when you realised you had no idea where he lived or where he’d be.

You tried calling Woody but he didn’t answer, feeling hopeless that you’d dropped a load of money on a train ticket and a last minute hotel room for nothing when the perfect person sprung to mind.

To say Luke was surprised to hear from you would be an understatement, you’d met him a couple of times at games or when Mason played for England and he was initially a bit cautious but once you turned the waterworks on you felt his resolve crumble. He let you know there was a big party they were all going to tonight for a mutual friends birthday and to text him when you were there so he could come and get you and you couldn’t be more thankful. A sick, excited feeling in the pit of your tummy as you knew you’d finally be able to see him.

By the time you’d made it to your hotel and make yourself look semi presentable it was around 11pm and it was another half hour from there so you were hoping Mason was still in a relatively sensible state but you’d take him however he came at this point. You just needed to see him.

‘Where are you going?’ Mason called, watching Luke try to slip through the crowds but he held up his phone as if he was telling him he was off to take a call.

‘I won’t be long yeah? Just stay there’ like called before he was quickly out of sight. Where is he expecting me to go? He thought, eyes flittering around the group he was in and even though he was happy to be there, the sadness in his tummy was still dragging him down and times like this made it even worse.

‘Mason?’ he suddenly heard a voice say to his left and his head snapped round to meet it. Eyes lighting up at the sight in front of him as he held his arms out for the much smaller frame to fit into with a huge smile on his face.

As promised, Luke came and met you by the door and after a big hug of reassurance he lead you over to hopefully where Mason would be.

‘Mason’ you heard Luke call over the music, fighting your way through the bodies at the perimeter of the table until your eyes landed directly on his. You wished you could of looked away though as the sight in front of you made you feel sick.

There he stood, his arm around another girls waist as her lips trialed across his jaw. The smile on his face was the one that was usually reserved for you but you watched it drop at the sight of you and it was like you could feel your heart shatter in your chest.

‘What is she doing here?’ Mason growled, body swaying as he’d had more than enough to drink. His anger was directed towards Luke for now but his furious eyes were on you before he had a chance to reply. ‘I don’t fucking want you here’

You couldn’t handle another second even though you’d just got there but you were hurt and embarrassed enough so you turned on your heel and headed out the way you came. You could hear Luke’s voice booming over the music but you didn’t listen to what he was saying, just trying to get out as quickly as you could and as the cold air hit you, you felt your eyes finally start to sting.

You didn’t know what to do or where to go but you fished your phone out of your bag so you could call yourself a taxi through your tears whilst walking down the side of the building to get out of everyone’s way.

The sound of a door slamming behind you made you jump, looking round to see the last person you thought would of followed you out but Mason was looking back at you. Eyes hard and jaw set and he made his way over but he stopped before he got too close.

‘Why are you here, y/n?’

‘I don’t know’

‘Don’t give me that bullshit’ he snarled, his words slightly slurred as he balled his hands into fists. ‘Tell me why you’re here’

‘You blocked me and-‘

‘Are you joking?’ He laughed but you knew there was no humour in it. ‘Why the hell would I want to talk to you?’

‘Mase I-‘

‘Do you not remember the last bit of contact we had? I tried reaching out to leave things on good terms even though you’d been completely unreasonable and you send me fucking thumbs up? Ten months together and that’s all I deserve? a thumbs up?’

‘I didn’t-‘

‘No you fucking abandoned me’ he growled. ‘I needed you and you let me come here on my own’

‘But you said-‘

‘I know what I said but I didn’t fucking mean it like that’ he snapped.

‘I’m so sorry’ you breathed. ‘I didn’t even know if you want me to come with you’

‘Why would I not want you to come? You’re my everything. Were my everything sorry’

‘Mase please-‘

‘You wanna know what I’ve found most difficult about all of this? you never even let me speak, you made your mind up for the both of us and that’s not what I wanted. I wanted you to choose me and you didn’t’ he breathed. His eyes full of tears and you couldn’t help but feel like the worst person in the world as he swayed slightly before regaining his balance.

‘You told me you didn’t want me to come’

‘No I never. I said I didn’t expect you to join me right then and there cause you had your own shit to sort but I never for one second said I didn’t want you here. You just jumped down my throat and told me what you thought I meant before I had a chance to say anything. I really saw a future with you but you obviously didn’t see one with me’ he sniffed.

You wanted to tell him he was wrong. That the only future you saw was with him and life had been hell without him but you knew it probably wouldn’t make a difference at this point so you kept silent, the only sound you could hear were his ragged breathing as he tried to calm himself. You expected him to be surprised to see you but nothing could of prepared you for this and when he looked up to meet your eyes again you felt your insides shatter at how vulnerable he seemed.

‘Sometimes I wish you would of just done the honourable thing and cheated on me’ he confessed quietly. ‘like I wish you would of made me hate you but I can’t’ he whimpered and it took everything in you not to reach for him and comfort him. ‘I’ve painted you out to be the villain to everyone to try and make it easier on myself and I know you’re not but all of this is so fucking hard. I just wanna move on and I can’t and you showing up here doesn’t make it any easier’

‘It didn’t look like you were finding it difficult to move on in there’ you muttered under your breath and you hadn’t meant for the words to slip out but your ego was still bruised from seeing him with someone else.

‘Don’t you dare turn this around on me’ he growled, becoming furious again at what you’d said and you knew it was a low blow so you shook yourself off try and apologise and bring him back around.

‘Mase can we please just talk. I’ve come all this way, please just listen to me’ you pleaded, stepping towards him and even though he didn’t move away from you, keeping completely still, you felt your heart sink even further.

‘I don’t want to’

‘Please Mase. Come on, it’s me. You know me and you know how awful I feel about all of it’

‘Do I know you?’ He questioned. ‘My y/n would of never let me come here on my own. My y/n would of stuck by me like I always did for her’

‘I’m still yours Mase, please’ you cried, reaching for him so you could cup his jaw and your heart thudded in your chest as his head melted into your hands but he was snapped out of it almost instantly, his hands grabbing your wrists gently so he could pull you off and you couldn’t help but sob as he let go of you.

‘I need you to listen to me yeah?’ He swallowed, his eyes looking directly into yours and you could see how hard they were even in the dark. ‘You broke my heart, y/n’ he said tearfully, his voice raw like he’d been screaming for hours. He words hitting you like a tone of bricks and even though you knew it already, it hurt ten times worse to hear it coming from his lips. ‘Stamped all over it and I’ll never be able to forget how you made me feel’

‘I made a mistake, Mason. I’m here to fix it. To fix us’

‘You can’t’ he told you flatly and it was only then you let you first tears fall.

It may have been your blurred vision but you thought you saw his facade crack ever so slightly, wondering you were finally getting through to him but his stoney exterior was back in the blink of an eye and you knew there was no point talking to him in this state but you still desperately tried.

‘Mason please, I’ll do anything-‘

‘Look, I think you should go. I want you to go’ he gulped, reaching for his phone. ‘I’ll get you an Uber yeah, just put in where you’re staying’

‘You’re not giving me a chance’

‘You never gave us a chance in the first place’ he whimpered, ‘please I can’t do this right now y/n I just need you to go’ he told you, handing you his phone and you realised there was no point in arguing.

‘It’s fine I’ll get it myself’ you sighed, quickly opening the app but before you could confirm the booking you looked back up to him. If this was it and you were done then you couldn’t leave without a proper goodbye. Everything inside of you was telling you to stop but you didn’t listen, you let your heart speak for you even though you knew you’d be crushed. ‘I know I don’t really have a right to ask but please can I kiss you? Just one more time so I can say goodbye properly’ you asked and just as you were expecting, he shook his head to say no. ‘Okay. I’ll go’ you whispered, turning to walk back onto the street to find your taxi, the sinking feeling threatening to drown you but his hand on your wrist stopped you in your tracks.

His lips were on yours on a flash, snapping you out of your upset trance as you shivered at his touch. It wasn’t the soft goodbye kiss you were hoping for, he was rough and holding your waist in a tight grip as you tried to kiss him back with as much force but he was pulling away soon after.

‘Fuck, I shouldn’t of done that’ he whispered, turning around to walk back inside and you thought better than to reach for him again but your brain was still trying to fight for him.

‘Please, Mason. I can’t loose you’ you called, voice thick with tears as he stopped at the door. You watched as his turned ever so slightly, eyes downcast before sticking the final knife in.

‘You already have’

He didn’t turn back, slamming the door on the way inside and you let him go, biting your lip to keep your emotions at bay as you stumbled back onto the main Street. Your Uber was only a few moments away and you were soon heading off, eyes looking up as you passed the main entrance but you wished you would of looked away sooner.

He had his head down and his hood up, but you knew it was him. The girl who was draped over him inside now had her hand clasped in his as she followed behind him into a taxi and you felt like throwing up all over the back seat. You felt at blame for the whole misunderstanding and watching him take another girl home was the least you felt you deserved.

Woody eventually returned your call just as you got to your room. You managed to hold it together but you could tell he knew you were upset as you told him you’d come to speak to Mason and it didn’t end well. He tried convincing you to let him speak to Mason tomorrow before you left but you told him there was no point and you promised you’d give him a call when you were back home the next day.

That wasn’t the end of Woody’s calls that night though, with Mason calling him about an hour after to let him know he’d seen you and the huff that Woody let out let him know Woody wasn’t happy with him.

‘First of all mate, it’s 2am. I know you live a few hours away now but that doesn’t mean we’re living in different time zones like could this not of waited?’

‘Sorry mate, I just didn’t know who to talk to’ Mason said sadly and Woody felt bad instantly but between you and Mason crying on the phone to him about each other he wanted to bang your heads together.

‘Look I probably shouldn’t be saying this, but I saw y/n last week. She was in that cafe you used to go to for breakfast and she looked miserable as fuck like I’ve never seen her that sad. She tried calling you but you’ve blocked her number again haven’t you?’

‘She’s got no reason to be sad, she threw me out’ Mason replied, ignoring his comment about blocking your number as he’d only done it a few days ago and he still felt weird about it.

‘Cause she thought you were ending things mate. She got the wrong end of the stick and she jumped the gun’ he explained, stopping Mason in his tracks immediately. ‘I’ve just had her on the phone in tears cause you’ve basically done the same. Didn’t give her a chance to talk and apologise and then left with some girl’

‘How does she know that?’

‘She saw you get in the car with her, she’s in bits mate. Like nothing I said would calm her down or make her listen to me. What the fuck did you say to her man?’

It was true, you’d cried all night as the vision of him with someone else stung and all you could think about was what they might be doing together at this very second. You hadn’t been able to look at someone else let alone do what he was doing and no matter what you did the vision of the pair of them wouldn’t go.

You thought he would of been upset or shocked to see you but the anger rolling off of him had been a surprise and you knew now that there was no going back. He was done with you, trying his hardest to move on and you told yourself that when you got back home you’d do the same so you quickly went to his number in your phone and blocked it just like he’d done with you.

You woke up early the end morning, checking the train times to see the next one was in an hour so you quickly packed up and let reception know you needed a taxi to the station. It hurt knowing your trip here had been in vein but you told yourself at least you’d tried. He just hadn’t wanted to hear and that was fine.

As soon as the lift pinged open you could hear Masons voice and the sound of it shocked you. He sounded desperate and you followed it to the reception where he appeared to be arguing with the receptionist.

‘Look, I know she’s here, you know she’s here so just let me know what room she’s in-‘

‘Sir I’ve already explained I’m not allowed to do that’

‘Well then call her room’

‘Sir-‘

‘You’re not listening to me’

‘Mason?’ You questioned, coming to a stop a few meters behind him and you watched him whip round at the sound of you voice. A look of relief washing over him at the sight of you before he took a few frantic steps towards you.

‘Y/n thank god, I thought I’d missed you’

‘Why are you here?’ You asked but he was cut off from answering by the doorman.

‘Miss y/l/n, your taxi should be here in about five minutes’

‘No, don’t go. Please don’t go not yet’ he panicked, turning to the doorman so he could speak to him next. ‘It’s okay you can cancel that she doesn’t need it’

‘Mason, what’s going on?’

‘I don’t want you to leave like this. You came here for a reason and I know I’ve fucked it but please’ he whispered, holding your jaw as he looked into your eyes. ‘Please don’t go yet. Come back to mine and we’ll talk yeah? Properly talk and figure things out’

‘Mase-‘

‘Please. Please bubs I’ll do anything you want-‘

‘Okay it’s okay’ you interrupted, holding his wrists as he still cradled your face in his hands. His eyes switching from frantic to relieved in an instant at your words as he let out a breath. ‘Shhhh, it’s okay. I’m coming yeah?’ You told him, heart threatening to jump from your body at the old pet name he used to call you but this is what you came here for. To talk properly and even if things were over you wanted nothing unsaid.

‘Okay’ he nodded shyly, suddenly aware of the scene he’d caused in the hotel reception so he grabbed the handle of your case with one hand whilst the other lead you outside by the small of your back. ‘I’m just round here’ he mumbled when you were close and you let him pop your case in the boot as you got settled in the passenger seat.

The drive was silent, Mason focused on the road as you looked out onto the unfamiliar Manchester streets but you couldn’t take anything in. Too focused on what you were going to say to him when you got to his and you could still feel his hands on your jaw as he’d pleaded with you to stay.

You were shocked when he suddenly pulled into the drive of an impressive house, a similar style to his Cobham home but a little more cozy looking and you retuned his shy smile as he turned the engine off before you both got out. He lead you inside and into the living room where you took a seat on one of the sofas and he sat opposite you whilst he played with his fingers.

‘Can I get you anything?’

‘I’m okay thanks’

‘Do you have a train you need to get?’

‘The one I booked leaves in ten minutes but it’s fine I’ll get another one’

‘Sorry I didn’t even think’

‘No it’s fine, I’d rather us talk’ you reassured him and even thought he sent you a smile he still looked troubled as his eyes flickered over you but you were settled by the tiny smile that appeared.

‘Nice hoodie’ he commented, you face burning as you knew he’d recognised it as his own. The same one he’d left at yours that fateful night and the one you’d been wearing for comfort so you dipped your head out of embarrassment. ‘You wanna go first? I don’t even know where to start’ he chuckled.

‘I sort of do’ you murmured before gulping nervously. This was probably the last thing you should be saying but you had to know before you carried on as the thought had been eating you alive. ‘About last night, I know I don’t have a right to ask but, that girl? Did um-‘

‘Nothing happened’ he breathed, head falling into his hands. ‘We went back to hers but I didn’t even get out of the taxi. I only met her for the first time last night, we’ve been texting for a few days but nothing more. She was just a distraction from… well you know’ he told you, eyes never meeting yours but you knew he’d seen you nod. ‘And that’s the problem, all I’ve been doing is trying to distract myself cause it hurts too much to think about anything else but I realised last night I can’t carry on like this’

‘I’m so sorry, Mason’ you whispered tearfully, watching his head drop into his hands even further as he clearly didn’t want you to see how upset he was but all you could think about was comforting him so against your better judgement you stood up and made your way over to him. He hadn’t moved a muscle so you knelt down in between his knees and placed your hands on his thighs in hopes he would look at you but his eyes stayed stuck shut. You weren’t ready to give up yet though, squeezing his thighs gently as you tapped your head against his arm. ‘Mase? Look at me’ you whispered before he swallowed heavily, head moving ever so slightly and the sadness in his eyes broke you.

You didn’t say a word, just knelt up and snaked your arms around his shoulders so you could pull him into a hug and to your surprise he let you, his head finding home in your neck just like it used to as he held you to him and it was as if all the stress in his body left him as he melted into you.

‘I’ve missed you so much’ he confessed quietly into your neck, the feel of his lips on your skin sending shivers down your spine as your heart thudded in your chest. You couldn’t describe how it felt to be back in his arms but you wished it was under different circumstances.

‘I’ve missed you too’ you told him. ‘But that doesn’t make what I did okay. I know that’

‘I really needed you. This has all been so hard’

‘I’m so sorry’ you choked, squeezing him even harder as he did the same. ‘Will you let me explain?’

‘Okay’ he gulped, pulling back from you but helping you taking a seat next to him. You felt a little awkward and unsure of yourself but when he threaded his fingers through yours and kept them in his lap you relaxed ever so slightly. The feel of him giving you the strength to speak.

‘In all honesty, I wasn’t sure you wanted me to come here. I get the deal was up in the air and you weren’t even sure if it would happen but we didn’t talk about any possibility of me coming with you and I just assumed you wanted to go on your own at first. Or maybe it was your way of letting me know you didn’t want me there at all but when you said I didn’t have to worry about coming here I thought you were giving me an out and ending things. I only took it because I believed that’s what you wanted and I thought you were breaking up with me’

‘That’s not what I wanted at all, I just assumed you were coming’ he laughed, rubbing his eyes with the heal of his hand. ‘I know we didn’t speak about it but I had a million things on my mind and the possibility of you not coming with me wasn’t one of them’ he whispered ‘everything was changing you know? But you were the one certain thing I had, I didn’t even think I had to ask. Remember you told me, wherever I go, that’s where you’ll be’

‘I know and I’m so sorry’ you sobbed, head bowed as the tears fell from your eyes. ‘You had so much going on in those months and all I did was think about myself’

‘Come on love, you don’t have to beat yourself up about it’ he told you softly, pulling you into his grasp again so you could calm down to speak again properly but all you wanted was to hear his side. You’d spent the last two months being annoyed at him for no reason and you were desperate know how he was feeling.

‘I think it might be good if we just get things out in the open, you know? Let’s not leave anything unsaid’ you told him and he nodded lightly.

‘You sure?’ He asked and you nodded with a gulp.

‘I just wanna know how you were feeling’

‘Well I was pissed for a long time. I didn’t understand anything it’s like you’d just changed in a nano second. And then when I got here and I was settled I was more sad you know? just waiting for you to reach out to tell me you missed me too but the longer it took the more mad I got again. That’s why I went off on one last night like I think it’s just all built up. But I’m sorry for how I spoke to you and I’m sorry for kissing you and walking away that wasn’t fair of me no matter how drunk I was. Being close to you again just bought all these feelings up a I lost it a bit. I’m sorry you had to see me with that girl too but I’ve spoken to her this morning and said I don’t want to see her anymore’

‘Do you really wish I’d of cheated on you?’ You asked, voice barely above a whisper but you knew he’d heard as he shuffled over to you a touch.

‘A little bit’ he laughed. ‘I mean not now obviously but it would of made not wanting you a lot easier. Cause that’s never gone away you know? I’ve wanted you this whole time, loved you this whole time, no matter how mad I got’

You were overwhelmed by how nice he was being, a stark contrast from how he’d spoken to you yesterday but you were still unsure as to how things would end. Was this just a polite goodbye before you made your way home? Mason had never been that hard to read a whilst he was saying all the right things you knew you’d pushed him to the edge and getting him back wouldn’t be easy.

‘Hey come on’ he whispered, pulling you into his body before leaning back a bit. You felt like you didn’t have right to cry, you were the one who blew up first and wouldn’t listen to him but the fact you’d gotten it so wrong made your heart hurt and wished you could go back in time and hear him out.

His arms around you were more comforting than you ever thought they could be, his smell hitting you like a slap in the face as the soft skin of his neck was pressed up against your face but you felt your heart beat slow down as he grounded you. His hands rubbing over your back and arms to comfort you and even though everything was up in the air, you finally felt like you were home again.

‘I didn’t talk to you about that stuff because I just wanted one person who didn’t look at me like I was the worst person on the planet’ he explained, your mind thinking back to the awful way he’d been spoken about with only a few people in his corner. ‘Chelsea was all I knew, and to have them want to just toss me aside like that hurt more than I could ever tell you but with you I never felt bad. You were my little escape you know?’ He chuckled, kissing your temple lightly which made you squeeze him even harder. ‘I didn’t feel like I belonged anywhere for so long, but I always did with you’

‘I feel so dumb’ you laughed tearfully. ‘I think I was just being defensive like trying to hurt you before you hurt me’

‘I wasn’t trying to hurt you’ he told you gently. ‘In my head, I was gonna move up here, go on the tour and stuff whilst a house was being sorted and then when I was back you’d join me. Looking back I guess I should of said something sooner, you don’t live in my head so you’ve got not way of knowing what I’m thinking’

‘But I should of given you a chance to explain’ you mumbled, finally moving out of his neck so you could look at him properly and you were happy to see the sadness in his eyes had somewhat lifted but he was still looking to you concerned. ‘I was just butt hurt that you might be leaving and you hadn’t taken me into consideration but I should of let you explain. I’ve been so mad at you so that’s why I haven’t tried to reach out but it’s because I didn’t understand and now I do I just feel like the worst person in the world’ you cried, choking backs sobs at the end but his lips on your forehead settled you down again.

‘If I would of known then I would of stopped everything to follow you here. You were right, where you go I go and I’m so angry at myself for not thinking straight and being there for you when you needed me most. I can only imagine what you must of been going through leading up to it and for me to then just blow up at you like that wasn’t fair and I’m so sorry’

‘Come on sweetheart, don’t get upset’

‘I’ve ruined everything’ you sobbed, head in your hands agin before he pulled you even closer.

‘Shhhh baby no, you haven’t okay’ he reassured you. ‘You’re here now yeah? And we’re on the same page so there’s no need for all these tears’ he laughed, trying to make light of the situation so you forced yourself to calm down, wiping your eyes on the sleeves off his hoodie before looking up into his soft face.

‘Are you happy here?’

‘I am’ he told you sincerely. ‘Like yeah it’s been a bit weird just leaving everything behind but I’m really happy here’

You nodded, a weird feeling in your tummy at how settled he was and whilst you were anything but back home it eased your mind to know you didn’t have to worry about him being here.

‘I’d be happier if you were here with me’ he suddenly whispered, nose bumping yours before he pressed a kiss to the crease in between your brows.

‘What?’

‘Will you come with me?’ He asked, seeming ignoring your question but you nodded your head and let him lead you by the hand upstairs towards the back of the house, opening a door up to a random room but the sight inside took your breath away.

It was a light and airy room, a large desk set up against the wall with two monitors and your favourite chair from Masons Cobham home that you stole whenever you worked from there was perched under the desk. There were plants and cute pictures all over the walls and a little mini fridge off the other side but it was the patio doors that lead out to a balcony that overlooked the huge garden made you smile.

‘What’s this?’ You laughed, your heart racing as he settled his hands on your hips and popped his chin in your head.

‘Your home office. I had it set up for you just in case you came to your senses in the first few weeks but I haven’t been able to come back in here since’ he laughed. ‘Sorry about the dust’

‘Mase’ you breathed, turning to face him so you could wrap your arms around his body as he caged you against himself. You could feel the tears coming but for a whole different reason this time.

‘It’s still yours if you want it’

‘Really?’

‘You don’t think I made a fool out of myself in that hotel and made you come here just for the fun of it did you?’ He laughed, thumb stroking your cheek as you gazed up at him lovingly. ‘It’s up to you, but I know I’ve been miserable without you and all I’ve thought about is having you here. Not just in this house but everywhere. I’ve found places we can go eat that I know you’ll love, there’s a park not too far away with a big lake so we can go feed the ducks like we used to’

‘Got it all figured out huh?’ You laughed, your body filling with warmth with his words.

‘I’d like to think so’ he winked ‘We can take it slowly you know? I’m not asking you to move in with me straight away but when you’re ready maybe I can take you out on a date? You know like catch up a bit and if it’s something we both realise we still want we can go from there’

‘Even after everything I said to you?’

‘It was a misunderstanding bubs, It happens’ he whispered, kissing your cheeky gently ‘we both could of probably done better but we live and we learn’ he carried on, pressing delicate kisses across your cheek and over your nose before making his way down to your lips. ‘I think we’re both sorry and regret what happened right?

‘Yeah’

‘So the only thing to do is accept it and try to move forward’ he continued, his kisses getting closer to your lips and you felt like you were in some sort of trance.

‘Okay’

‘Y/n’ he whispered, pressing a final kiss to the corner of your mouth and the feel of it made you knees weak.

‘Yeah?’

‘Can I kiss you now?’

You couldn’t answer him with words, just nodding before his hands came up to cup your jaw so he couldn’t tilt your head back. You couldn’t stop looking at him, he was so beautiful up close and you’d missed looking at all the features that made him special. But you couldn’t look for too much longer, his eyes on your lips and face leaning closer to yours as he finally gave you what you both wanted.

You both sighed into each others mouths as you finally kissed, relief filling your body at finally feeling his lips on yours. Your body felt as light as air as the pain from the last few months disappeared from your body and he mended you back together with his lips. It was a stark contrast from the way he’d kissed you last night and you were desperately trying not to smile and ruin the moment but you couldn’t help yourself. You were happy and whole again and the feel of Masons smile on your lips made you chuckle.

The pair of you pulled back, eyes shining as you got lost in each other for a second. Feeling the joy radiate from him as he smiled down at you and you hoped your expression was telling the same to him.

‘If you want, we can sack that date off and I’ll just move in right now’ you winked, watching his eyes sparkle as he laughed. You’d meant it as a joke but after a few seconds you realised the thought of going back home right now was the last thing you wanted.

‘Oh yeah?’ He laughed. ‘What about all your stuff? And work?’

‘Stop being the voice of reason’ you laughed, pulling away every so slightly but he was quick to cage you back in.

‘You don’t have to move here now. It’s a lot to ask and I know that’

‘But I want to. I’ve wanted to this whole time and I don’t want to waste another second without you. I don’t need a date to realise if this is what I want cause it’s what I’ve wanted since you came here’ you told him, you face resting his hand as his soft eyes flickered over you. ‘But I suppose you’re right. I really should run stuff passed work and get stuff sorted at home’

‘We’ve got time’ he smiled before placing a light kiss to your forehead. ‘What do you think of the place? I haven’t been here that long and we can change whatever you like about it’

‘No i love it, it’s very you’ you laughed as he took your hand to lead you outside.

‘Well, soon it will be very us’ he winked, walking you back through so he could give you a tour and you were impressed by all of it. The kitchen was your favourite though and you let him sit you up on the counter as he stood between your legs. You fingers lost in the back of his hair as he smiled up at you and all you wanted to to lean down and kiss him.

‘Why the change of heart Mase?’ You asked quietly, watching the blush take over his cheeks. ‘Last night you couldn’t stand the sight of me’

‘I may of called Woody after I got home. Let’s just say he wasn’t exactly thrilled to hear from me at that time but I told him what happened and he let me know he’d seen you earlier in the week and spoken to you last night. Said that you’d got the wrong end of the stick and you were upset about it and I just thought if you left then there was no going back, you know? I don’t want us to be done yet’

‘Me either’ you smiled, eyes filling with tears again as you looked over his perfect face. ‘So I didn’t loose you then?’

‘No even for a second’ he whispered, pressing his lips to yours gently. ‘We kind of owe Woody a lot huh?’

‘We do’ you smiled. ‘He’s put up with a lot of our shit’

‘Well he won’t have to anymore, we’re back where we belong. With each other’ he smiled before melting his head in your neck to you could hold him and all you could think about was not wanting to belong anywhere else but here ever again.

‘Where you go, that’s where I’ll be right?’

‘Where you go, that’s where I’ll be’ he repeated softly, a gentle smile taking over his lips as he looked at you lovingly.

Can I go where you go?

Can we always be this close forever and ever?

And ah, take me out, and take me home (forever and ever)

You're my, my, my, my

Lover

Thank you so much for reading 🩷 I would really appreciate some feedback on this so please feel free to drop me an ask or a comment or whatever you feel comfortable doing. I’d just love to hear from you 😌

[elsweetheart]

no but like. dealer!ellie would be so loving and understanding with a really sensitive (crybaby) gf. like she’s at a party making great business and she gets a text from u saying that you miss her and you’re not feeling well and she drops everything to visit and make u feel better

:(((((

i’ll be your honey, if you’ll be sweet

🎀 dealer!ellie being a cutie, fem!reader being a crybaby, mentions of not feeling well, mentions of weed and alcohol. title is taken from mazzy star— give you my lovin

♡ ♡ ♡

Business was booming, as they said.

Another party at another frat house, where the guys knew nothing about the regular price of weed — and Ellie wasn’t above not pricing her stuff up to take advantage. Her stuff was good, she thought. They should be paying this much.

“How much you made so far?” Jesse yelled over the music to her, having made his way back over from doing shots. He was actually the one who got Ellie in, having friends from the house — that and the fact that no guy throwing a party was going to turn down a cool and discrete dealer with notoriously good product to keep the good vibes going.

“No idea, they keep handing me wads of cash — all I know is they’re way over paying me.” She chuckled, wiping her warm hands down her jeans. “Not complainin’.”

She’d usually be at these kind of ordeals with you on her arm, getting to watch over you having fun and dancing whilst she did her business. It made the evening go by faster, and the routine of the two of you going to grab greasy food from the nearest takeout joint was always something to look forward to. She pulled her phone out her pocket to text you, seeing you’d already left her a message.

‘how long until u come home?’

She glanced up, but she didn’t have to look to know that the party still in full swing with no signs of stopping.

‘Not for a while baby, you ok?’

Ellie watched the three bubbles on iMessage appear as you type, then disappear, then reappear, then disappear before you finally replied.

‘mhm’

A call came through on your end, Ellie walking out onto the porch with her cracked screen pressed to her ear, wandering away from all the noise for a moment to check on you.

“Hello?” You croaked, voice small and quiet.

“Tell me what’s wrong, babe.”

She wasn’t expecting you to start crying, not so soon anyways. Her stomach swirled in anxiety at the sound of you upset and her brows furrowed as she picked at her nail, waiting for you to tell her. “Why’re you crying?” Her voice was soft and sympathetic.

“S’nothin’ Els, just d’nt feel well and I tried everything but nothings making it better— n’I just miss you and I’m sorry cos I don’t wanna worry you whilst you’re out but—”

“Woah, hey hey hey.” She pacified you gently, trying to hide her concern. “Don’t stress. M’leaving now, gonna be with you soon okay?” She adjusted her backpack on her shoulders, leaning over to the window to see if she could flag Jesse down. The raven haired boy was too busy losing at beer pong so she turned away, spotting a back gate to leave out of.

“You don’t have to leave, I don’t want you to lose money.” You sniffled miserably, the sadness in your voice making her own frown deepen as she pushed open the creaky back gate onto the street, locating her car.

“Got plenty of money tonight babe. Hold tight okay? I’ll be with you soon.”

You were in her bed in her dorm when she arrived back, curled into a ball with a look of sleepy distress on your face. She shut the door behind her, slowly approaching you.

“Hey babe.” She whispered, her slender fingers pushing your hair back around your ear before placing the back of her hand on your forehead. Her hand was cold and it was soothing, blinking up at her in the dimly lit room.

“Think m’sick.” Your bottom lip wobbled and she shushed you gently, not wanting you to make yourself worse by crying. She perched down on the bed beside you, cold hand now stroking up your shirt (her shirt.) and rubbing circles on your back.

“Yeah, you’re burning up a little. Can you tell me what’s hurting?” She lilted, squinting a little in the low light to try and gauge how your face was looking.

“My head, and my throat too… and everything.” You groaned tearfully, rolling over to stuff your face into the bedsheets. She shuffled a little closer, hating seeing you in distress.

“Have you had any water?” Her hand moved up to stroke your hair, massaging your head slightly.

“Mm—mm.” You moaned into the sheets and she nodded, fetching your bottle.

“I’m gonna help you sit up, alright babe? C’mon, y’gotta help me out a little, yeah?” She scooped her hands beneath you, ignoring your whiney muffled protests. You used some of your energy to push yourself up with her help and she held you in her arms sat up. Burying your face into her, she held you letting you cry a little. “I know. Fuckin’ sucks huh, sweet girl.” Ellie sympathised before holding your pink water bottle to your lips. “Sip, don’t gulp it down.” She advised, her free hand that was wrapped around your shoulder stroking your arm. “Look, you got nothin’ to worry about okay? Not only am I the worlds best dealer… I’m also a nurse. And I’m gonna make you feel all better.” She smiled making you furrow your eyebrows, moving your mouth away from the bottle to cuddle her again.

“You’re not a nurse.” You accused and she blinked into space, continuing to hold you tight.

“Well. I am now.”

The night went on, and Ellie continued to soothe you well into the night, not being able to sleep or get comfortable — often bursting into tears and needing immediate assistance. “I just wanna sleep.” You sounded devastated, and she truly pitied you— nothing was making you feel better and she knew you were just going to have to ride it out.

“I know baby. We’ll get there… when we get there.” She huffed, almost frustrated with herself for not being able to help you more. “Y’want me to read to you, might help you get some sleep? Worth a try, right?” She leant down, persuading you in a hushed tone. You didn’t open your eyes, just nodded weakly giving her the green light to get up and grab one of her books from her desk. It was the Jurassic Park novel — always having it on her being one of her favourite books.

She settled down on her bed, letting you clamber up to lay your head in her lap. She had changed into her sweatpants around two hours ago, and you found comfort in the softness against your cheek. She began reading, book pulled close to her face to be able to read the words in the low light — not wanting to turn any lights on as to aggravate your headache. Halfway into Chapter 2, she finally heard the soft snore of your eventual sleep against her leg— and Ellie felt herself relax, knowing she’d completed her girlfriend duties for now to a satisfactory level. She knew you hated being sick, and that you were miserable — but Ellie would still choose to be here looking after you than dealing at some random party any day.

♡ ♡ ♡

[whatsk-poppinhomies]

Pairing : Dad!Seo Changbin x F!Reader TW : heavily triggering content ; reader discretion is advised ; stillborn child ; depression ; anger ; self hatred ; isolation ; it's just really sad and angsty ; Word Count : 2.9k Request : it won the poll! Here he is! A/N : PLEASE READ THE TRIGGER WARNINGS BEFORE YOU READ THIS FIC! I CRIED WHILE WRITING THIS! THIS WAS PROBABLY THE SADDEST ONE I'VE WRITTEN, SADDER THAN FELIXS FIC. I DON'T KNOW IF I SHOULD DO A PART 2 FOR THIS ONE, LET ME KNOW IN THE COMMENTS. AGAIN THOUGH, READ THE TW'S I BEG OF YOU. THIS ONE IS DEVASTATING, AT LEAST FOR ME IT WAS.

“I can’t wait to hold you and hug you and cuddle you! You’re gonna be daddy’s little princess, aren’t you?” Changbin cooed as he pressed his face against your stomach, smiling when he felt the kick against his hand that had been absentmindedly rubbing circles right above where her foot was. “I’m gonna spoil you and give you the whole world, I promise… Well, maybe not the whole world, I don’t think I can do that… But, I’ll give you anything you want. You’re so precious to me already, I can’t wait to meet you…” 

You chuckled lightly, brushing your fingers through his curly locks, shaking your head that rested upon a mound of pillows. “You better keep all those promises, babe. I know she can hear you, and she’s gonna hold you to all of that. And so am I. You get to hold her and hug her and cuddle her the first week I’m out of the hospital. I’m gonna lay in bed and rest after carrying her for 9 months.”

He nodded excitedly up at you before peppering kisses along your belly. “I’ll just quit my job so I can be a super cool stay at home dad and I’ll spend so much time with her. How am I even supposed to go back to work when you and her are gonna be here? I wanna spend every single day with you two.” He pouted and you swiped your finger along his jutted out lip, giving him a soft smile to try to cheer him up. 

“We’ll be here when you get home, and before you go to work. And I’m sure that once she’s old enough, I’ll be able to bring her to the studio to see you and the guys.” He nodded his head along with your words, relaxing once more against your stomach, his buff arms wrapped around it and the silence was soon filled with the lulling sound of him humming to you and your baby girl. 

///

“Sir, we have to take her now…” 

Changbin sat in the chair beside your empty bed, holding his daughter close to his chest as tears poured down his cheeks, his body rocking back and forth. “Just a little bit longer, please…. My wife hasn’t even gotten to see her yet. Y-You can’t take her before my wife gets to hold her… Please…” He sobbed, his head dropping down to look down at the porcelain like face of his baby girl. 

“I’m… I’m sorry… Your wife is in recovery and… She won’t be awake… We can’t just let you keep her. I’m terribly sorry, we have to take her now.” The nurse repeated themselves, walking closer to Changbin. His head shook violently as his sobs became louder, his hold on his daughter tighter than it had been before. 

There was no way to describe the pain, the devastation, the anger that he felt. “I can’t… I…” He couldn’t even finish, not when he felt the stillness of his daughter in his arms, the way her skin was so colorless, she almost looked like a doll. “Just a little… I have to… I have… I… T-To say… I have to say… G-Goodbye… To her…” He stammered the words out through shaky breaths, and the nurse simply nodded, allowing Changbin to have this final moment. 

Trembling fingers gently brushed over the dark hair that covered his daughter's head, her skin felt cold against his finger tips. It was the first and the last time he’d ever get to hold her, that he’d ever get to see her. Life was cruel in its punishments that seemed to be thrown upon those most undeserving of them. What had he done? What had you done to deserve to have your newborn child stolen from you without the opportunity to even cherish her, to love her, to get to know her? 

“I’m so… So sorry…” Changbin whimpered, his head shaking as it felt against the back of the chair. His throat was dry and his eyes felt like they were on fire from crying so much. “I would have… I… The world… I would have given you the world if… if you had just… stayed here with us… Me and y-your mommy… We love you… We love you so much… You know that, right? I don’t wanna… L-Let them take you a-away from me… I just… I wanted to h-hold you… And… And hug you… And cuddle you… F-forever… And… I just… I can’t…” His breaths came more rapidly now, more labored as the seconds slowly ticked down the last little bit of time that he’d have with her. “You’ll… You’ll always be… M-My little girl… My princess… I promise… I’ll come see you… O-One day… When daddy and mommy… When we get r-really old… We’ll come s-see you… And I can… I can hold you… And love you… And hug you… And I won’t e-ever let you go… Okay…? I… I love you…” 

The door was slowly opened and the nurse quietly came over to Changbin. This was it. Once she was out of his arms, she’d be gone for good, he’d never be able to see her again, not until his final day came. How was he supposed to stay strong? How was he supposed to go on with his life at any point as if a piece of his heart hadn’t been ripped out of his chest and stolen from him right before his eyes? How was he supposed to live when simply breathing and living felt unfair? 

///

You sat in the wheelchair, Changbin beside you, one hand gripping tightly onto yours and the other holding the multitude of flowers and “Sorry” balloons that he wanted nothing to do with. Sure, people were sorry, they felt bad for what he and you had gone through, but none of them truly understood it, not until they were unfortunate enough to be put in the same situation, and for their sakes, he hoped they never would be. 

“We’ll be home soon, baby.” Changbin whispered to you, although home didn’t seem very welcoming. Not when the room across the hall from his and yours was fully decorated, a beautiful nursery for a beautiful little baby girl that would never be brought through the front door. She would never lay her head in the crib, covered by the quilted blanket that was meant to keep her warm. She would never become attached to one or many of the stuffed animals that were perfectly set up in the corner of the room. She would never be cradled in the rocking chair, rocked back to sleep during the wee hours of the morning. Neither you or Changbin would experience these things, not with the perfect little girl that you both had been waiting for. 

Flashing lights and camera shutters clicking met both you and Changbin right outside the hospital exit as you were wheeled out. You were out of it, zoning into a world, into a reality where maybe your daughter was still with the two of you. Your eyes were glossed over from the tears that you had shed nonstop. These were the images of you that would be plastered all over the internet within the next 12 to 24 hours, and that had Changbin fuming. 

“Back up! Back up!” Changbin shouted, his voice hoarse and his throat dry from having cried so much. How could people be so heartless, so cruel? They didn’t care about what he and you had just gone through. The only thing they cared about was the next story they could come out with that would make headline news. “Please, leave me and my wife alone! Go! Leave!” He continued to shout, standing in front of you as the security team tried to help push through the overwhelming amount of paparazzi. 

“Changbin! How are you feeling right now?” “When do you plan on returning to music?!” “Will your next album have songs that touch base on what you’ve gone through?” The questions were irritating, the complete lack of respect was sickening, but there was one question that had Changbin so infuriated that he couldn’t control himself. “Do you think now that you won’t have a child to worry about, you’ll be able to focus more on your music once again without the child holding you back? Do you think this is a good thing for your career?” 

It was insensitive to say the least, and he didn’t even take a second to question himself as to whether it would be a good idea to react, his fist was flying forward into the face of the man that had so stupidly uttered such a thing in his direction. “Get out of here! Go home! All of you!” He screamed, a fresh wave of tears rippling down his cheeks as he tried to move you faster towards the car. “Respect mine and my wife’s privacy. Please! God, please just leave us alone!” He continued to scream, and it seemed like the way he had responded to the man had quieted the mass amount of people. They weren’t asking any questions, but they were still taking pictures and recording you and him. They wouldn’t stop. It wasn’t their pain to feel, they would just report on it and make a quick buck off of someone else’s suffering. It was nauseating. 

///

“She… She hasn’t let go of her urn since we’ve gotten it. I don’t know what to do… I can’t take it away from her. She didn’t even get the chance to hold her… This is all she’s got… But I’m worried about her…” Changbin whispered to Chan as they sat in the living room. Changbin was a mess, but you were far worse. He had gotten to say goodbye, you didn’t even have the chance to do that much. There was a hole left in your heart that no one would ever be able to fill or even patch up. He felt guilty for being able to have that small amount of time with his daughter, for being able to have that chance that was taken away from you. “She won’t eat… She won’t even leave the bedroom. She just… She keeps crying and… And I don’t know what to do… I feel so helpless.” 

Changbins face fell into his palms, his body shaking as he silently cried into his hands. It felt like that’s all he did anymore. He just cried. There was nowhere that he could go in the house where he wasn’t hit with the stark reminder of what he had lost. “She’s grieving, Bin… Everyone does that in their own way. You both lost your child… Before you even had the chance to even have her truly. I can’t… The pain that you both feel is unimaginable, and… We’re all here for you, for Y/N. But right now, you two need each other more than anything.” Chan explained, and while Changbin nodded his head in understanding, it was easier said than done. 

It was hard to be there for someone emotionally when he himself felt like he was falling apart. “She won’t talk to me… She won’t talk to anyone. I’ve been keeping her family updated, but they’re just as worried as I am. They want her to come home for a bit for a change of scenery… What the hell is that going to do?! And what am I supposed to do if she leaves?! Stay here and… And be by myself with all of this stuff… With all of her stuff?! I can’t even go to the damn bathroom or take a shower without breaking down because the little shampoo bottles are on the tub and the… the little bath seat… and her towels and… God, it’s like… It’s like she’s here but… but I know she’s not…” 

There was no easy way to comfort anyone who went through what both you and Changbin went through, maybe there was no way to comfort the two of you at all, not right now at least. “Maybe… Maybe you and Y/N can go on a trip or something, just to get away from it all. The guys and I, we can start taking down all the stuff for when-” 

“No!” Changbin blurted out, his head shaking fast as he stared at Chan with wide eyes. “You can’t… You can’t take her stuff… That's all we have left. Just… Just give us time… We’re not ready. We lost her… We don’t want to just… get rid of her… We just need time…” 

///

“Baby…” Changbin whispered softly, his fingers brushing through your hair as you laid beside him in bed. Your daughter's urn sat on the nightstand, and while it hurt him to see it there, your reasoning for having it right beside you was too heartbreaking for him to want to move it. “Are you still awake?” He asked, feeling your body shaking ever so slightly. It was clear that you had just finished crying, he just wasn’t sure if you had cried yourself to sleep or if you had just run out of tears. 

You hummed quietly in response, taking a raspy breath before rolling over to face him. It felt like it had been ages since he got to see your face, but the puffiness under your eyes and your chapped lips had his heart breaking into tinier pieces. You looked broken, and he didn’t even know where to begin to try to help put you back together. “I’m… I’m sorry… That I couldn’t… Give you your… Perfect baby… And I’m… I’m sorry that… That the fans are m-mad at you… F-For not making music… And… And I’m sorry… That… That I haven’t been there… For you…” 

The choked out words that left your mouth had Changbin absolutely shocked, confused, and devastated that you felt that way. He didn’t even know that that was the way you were feeling, and if he had known before, he would have done his best to try to push those thoughts out of your head. “Baby, it’s not your fault. None of it is your fault. It’s no one's fault. I don’t want you to blame yourself… You still… You gave me the most beautiful baby girl, the most perfect baby girl in the whole world. God, I wish you could have seen her… I’m so sorry you couldn’t. She was… She was like an angel… She really was. She… She looked like you, I could already see it… She was beautiful, and she was already so loved… She knew you loved her…” 

“Did you tell her…? Did you tell her I love her?” You asked, and Changbin quickly nodded his head, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you against his chest. Your tears soaked through his shirt, but he didn’t care, for his own tears were falling against the top of your head and dampening your hair. It had been so long since he had held you like this, but he knew that right now it’s what you needed most. 

“I did… She knows. I told her you love her, and I love her… We both love her very much… And I’m sure that wherever she is, she can see that…” He murmured. “And I don’t want you to worry about the fans or the music. If they can’t understand, then they weren’t real fans anyway. The music can wait. You are the most important thing in the world to me. I’d give up my whole career just to see you smile again, just to try to make you happy. I’m going to be here for you as long as you need me to be, even if you don’t want me around. I love you… And we’re going to get through this together.” 

He felt your head nod and your arms wrap around him, your fingers gripping onto his shirt to hold him closer to you. “Can… Can she stay in here…? I… I don’t want her to be alone in… in that room… Not yet…” You asked, and Changbin nodded his head before kissing the top of yours and then gently laying you back down against your pillow. 

“She can stay in here with us as long as you want her to. I don’t want her to be alone either…” With his arm tucked underneath the pillow that your head lay upon, he hummed a soft tune to lull you back to sleep. It was the first night that you had gone to sleep without crying, it was the first night that you had talked to him. Now he understood what it meant to be strong, not just physically, but emotionally, for the ones that he loved. He might be breaking into bits on the inside, but he loved you too much to watch you fall apart. 

Carefully, he reached over you with his free hand, grabbing the urn off the nightstand and cradling it against his chest, staring up at the ceiling as silent tears trickled down from the corners of his eyes and across his temple, landing on the pillow underneath his head. “I’m gonna hold you, and I’ll cuddle you… And I’ll hug you… And I’ll love you forever. I can’t wait to see you again… Just wait for mommy and daddy… We’ll be there… And I’ll never let you go… Ever… You’re daddy’s little princess… And you always will be…”

Perm Tags :

@whatudowhennooneseesyou @duchesskaren @mytherapisttoldmenotto @lovesunshinefelix @moon0fthenight @kurolils @maruskz @hello-2-u-from-me @mrswolfiechan @bunnychangbin

@his-angell @if-spearb @yomomma104 @lanatheawesome @facelesswrittes @grannyindehouse @cutie-wooyo @felixmainacc @syuuji @jiisungllvr @yukichan67

@randomwimp @silentreadersthings @cutiespaghetti @furiousheartpoetry @its-hannjisung @lixpixstix

@felixluvr915 @wordsofkpop @kayleigh-28 @szkstay @spnwinchestersd @fleatree @yehsehneeah @vampcharxter @iloveksmohsomuch @lvlnijiro @neteyamsmate4life @futuristicpalacegardenpsychic @delululi @insertsomethingaboutanimehere @karlitaburrito @laylasbunbunny @chimicurri-a @bandolls

@syuuji @moonlight-the-writer @smutdumpskz @extrhotjne @manuosorioh

[alimaybankkk]

𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐨𝐲

summary: jj’s super clingy, making u very nervous. but when he pulls a stunt while surfing, everything goes downhill.

warnings: mega incredible sobbing blade licking angst. hints to smut. hints to sex. suggestiveness. so sad. actually so sad so sad sobbing angst most angstiest angst i’ve ever angsted

pairing: clingy asf jj maybank x sorta clingy reader

“wake up, baby,” i hear. the tickle of my boy’s hair rubs against my arm, making me squirm ever so slightly. “come on.”

i shake my head and lean my head into his neck, leaving a kiss. “there’s no point in waking up early. go back to sleep.”

“no, yes, i mean…” jj splutters. “yes. there’s a reason to get up. wanna go surfing?”

my eyes open widely, looking into his. he smirks and grabs my hand, pulling me up. once i’m up, he wraps his arms around my waist and stands there.

i cup his face in my hands, wondering what i did to be so lucky to have a boy like him.

“kiss me, please,” he mumbles, tracing circles on my back.

i grin and lean into him, capturing his lips with mine delicately. he melts into the kiss, hands roaming around my waist.

when i finally pull away for air, he tugs me into him for a hug. something about jj’s behavior was unusual. “j?”

“yeah, baby?”

“you okay?”

he hums into my hair, planting a kiss. “just love you so much.”

“you love surfing, too, right?” i ask.

he shrugs. “not more than you.”

“what about a combo of me and surfing?”

he giggles into my hair and i feel him nod. “yes, please.”

“then let me get a damn swimsuit on.”

he chuckles but finally lets go, placing one last small kiss to my lips. i grin at him and push him onto the bed. then i make my way to the dresser and find a bathing suit.

i look back and notice his eyes are trained on me. “j. go get changed.”

“i wanna—”

“please, baby, we need to go soon?”

he looks as if he were about to resist, but instead he groans. “damnit. love you.”

“love you more,” i tell him and watch him disappear out the door.

i pick out a hot pink bathing suit and a mid thigh length crotchet skirt. once i’m dressed, i grab my water bottle and head out of my room.

before i could even make it out, i see jj sitting on the floor. i sigh. “jj, are y’kidding me?”

he hums and stands, picking me up and carrying me bridal style. “let’s go!”

“jj, put me down. right now. not joking.”

he chuckles, bringing me into the living room of the chateau. i squeal as he throws me onto the couch (gently.)

“where is everyone?” i ask.

“d’you think we were going with them?” jj asks.

i can’t help but feel disappointed. sure—i love my boy—but i also kind of wanted to hang out with my friends too.

“yes, to be honest.” i smile. he shrugs.

“yeah, they’re coming. i just don’t know where they are.”

i nod and he sits down next to me, hand on my thigh. he grins. “in the meantime…”

i send him a smirk as his hands trail upwards and he leans in for a kiss. he starts leaving kisses going down my neck, causing me to moan until—

“eww,” john b shields his eyes from his vision.

i look up to see john b, sarah, kie, pope, and cleo all staring at us. i cover my face with my hands in embarrassment.

“no way they were trying to fuck on jb’ s couch…” kie whispers to sarah who lets a giggle leave her lips at this.

jj rolls his eyes. “what? not like it hasn’t happened before.”

before i could even think, i slap him across the face. “jj!”

he chuckles as the group stands in awe. john b lets out a fake gag and pops screams.

“you gotta clean that, man. john b doesn’t play,” cleo suggests.

“true. clean it when we get home. everyone get your surfboards.”

jj gave me a smirk before helping me up off the couch and taking me outside to grab the surfboards.

as i reached to grab mine, he simply smacked my hand away and nodded. “go get us a seat in the car. i’ve got it, mama.”

i nodded, giving him a kiss on the cheek and making my way to the twinkie.

i fiddled with your fingers impatiently as john b climbed into the car. he leaned over to pope who was sat in the passenger seat and whispered, “they’re obsessed.”

pope didn’t say anything. he only leaned back and looked at me, then nodded.

“fuck you guys…” i mumbled.

kiara giggled as cleo and sarah slid in next to her. “you are obsessed, y’know.”

i shook your head. “i love jj and when he’s clingy, but it’s mostly him.”

“oh, so you’re not clingy?” john b teased.

“i mean.. i am… like i love being close to him, but you know how jj is. he always wants to be with me. if i’m changing, bathing, studying, eating…”

john b turned around, suddenly looking shocked. “wait… do you not like it?”

“i love that he’s like that. but sometimes it makes me worry. we’re not always together. sure, i hate that. but what happens when he’s home alone or hanging out with you guys? i can’t imagine what happens to him.”

john b and pope looked at each other. “he fidgets a lot. a lot like you’re doing.” said pope.

i looked down at my hands, realizing i was picking at my fingers and seperated them.

“he always talks about you,” john b agreed.

kiara simply looked down at her lap, deep in thought. “the dude’s got it bad.”

i frowned. “honestly, so what? does it have to be a bad thing?”

“not when he’s with you, but when he’s without you, he’s a wreck.” pope sighed.

we all stopped talking when jj hopped into the car. everyone cleared their throats and i just stared at jj.

he beamed, seeing me and immediately rushed to touch me.

our friends watched us worriedly as we kissed. i turned to the front as he wrapped his arm around my waist. i felt hopeless.

“john b, didn’t you check the weather before hand?” sarah asked as the rain started pouring on us.

john b looked up at the sky, raindrops on his skin. “well of course i did, sarah cameron. storms are the best waves to surf on!”

i looked up at the dark gray sky as a boom of thunder and lightning added to the atmosphere, causing a pit in my stomach.

looking over at jj nervously, i noticed he was grinning excitedly, gripping his surfboard tighter.

he looked over at me, practically jumping with anticipation. “ready to hit those waves, mama?”

i stepped back. “j, i think we should stay back.”

“no way, bro. look at them! that’s the rush of your lifetime right there, sweetheart.”

i looked at the life in his eyes and i knew. i knew he would surf the waves no matter what i told him. but i still wanted to try. “baby, please. look how dangerous they are.”

he shook his head. “come on, pretty girl. let’s go before they die down.”

“jj, no. i’m not risking getting hurt. do you see them?”

“‘course i see them! they’re beautiful. come on, baby, please.”

the pogues were watching us intently. kiara finally spoke up, “it’s not a big deal. jj surfs waves like these all the time.”

i gave her an incredulous look. “fine. then if jj wants to ride those waves, then he can do it without me.”

“n—no, baby, please come surf with me. ‘t’s what we came here to do!” he begged.

i ripped my hands out of his hood and walked back toward the twinkie, shaking my head. “no way i’m going to get hurt.”

sarah sighed and looked at our friends apologetically. “me… me too. those look dangerous.”

kie rolled her eyes. “come on, guys. p4l? what happened to that?”

i shrugged. “there was never a rule about having to surf deadly tides.”

sarah agreed and followed me to the twinkie.

for the twenty minutes, i’d been watching our friends nervously. cleo and pope had backed out at the last minute and climbed into the twinkie with us, flinching at every lightning strike.

i had to admit, i felt pretty shaken up by the storm, too, but i was more concerned about jj. i watched as he tiptoed on the surfboard and held my breath.

“what the hell is wrong with him?” sarah asked. “he’s going to kill himself.”

“stop, shut up, sarah,” i couldn’t help but say. she frowned and leaned back in her seat.

obviously jj looked hot right now. the wind from the storm blowing in his hair, the curve of his abs as he positioned himself on his surfboard…

i watched as he jumped. a wave came in between him and the surfboard at that exact moment, knocking him into the air and being pulled under a wave.

“holy shit!” pope screamed. i didn’t even think before i sat up and opened the door of the car, running into the pouring rain.

“jj!” i screamed.

he was so far out that i feared i wouldn’t get to him in time. the waves pounded my face over and over again, pulling me down. i fell to my knees at the shore but i stood immediately, jumping over the waves that took my breath.

there was a wave that pulled me under water, but when it happened, i resorted to swimming. he was still so far way. my baby.

“jj!” i sobbed through the saltwater.

i somehow realized john b and kiara were still surfing. they hadn’t noticed jj and i knew surfers get pulled down all the time. i knew it. i was a surfer myself. but jj was surfing storming rides. he was in an area away from john b and kie where the waves pounded harder.

he was still under the water. i lost where he was, but i paddled to where i remembered he was.

once i got there, i coughed the water out of my lungs as i cried, “J!”

“ahh!” i screamed as a wave came down on me.

i was pulled underwater. i felt sand and rocks and seashells make their way under my bathing suit. i kicked and screamed, but i had to remain calm until the wave let me out.

finally, it did.

i saw him. he was floating helplessly on a wave as they were starting to calm down. “jj!”

his board was somehow still attached to his feet. water gushed from his mouth. i forced him onto the surfboard and tried my best to get him onto the shore.

the waves crashed over us, and i let out multiple cries, praying they wouldn’t hurt him.

“jj, please…” i said as i finally made it to the shore. i pulled his surfboard up the beach and tried my best to press down on his chest.

i looked down at his stomach and saw a huge red gash that was now starting to fill with sand. i looked back at his surfboard and saw blood on the surface.

“shit… jj!” i sobbed. he didn’t even wake up. i reached up to his neck and felt for a pulse, but i felt nothing under my fingertips.

“jj, wake the fuck up, now.” i cried.

i didn’t know how to do cpr, but i still tried my best. i blew into his mouth and continued to pump his chest. nothing happened.

tears rolled down my cheeks, staining his face and chest.

suddenly, it felt like everything was in slow-mo when sarah and pope came to help me.

pope slapped him across the face over and over again.

“j…” i sobbed. “jj, please, please wake up.”

more shouting was heard when john b and kiara made their way up the shore.

cleo came with a wash cloth and held it over jj’s cut, wiping a little bit of blood. “shit, man.”

“jj, please wake up… i love you so much.” i cried. i leaned down and kissed him on the lips.

“what the fuck happened?” john b asked, trying to shake jj awake.

“cough it up, j, please!” i sobbed. “i wish you didn’t do all this damn weed.”

“shit!” kiara screamed as she started pacing. “how… how do i help?”

“JJ WAKE UP!” i screamed. i let my voice drop to a whisper. “please baby.”

“these damn sensitive lungs,” cleo joked, but her smile was weak.

“kie, call an ambulance, hurry!” sarah cried.

“ambulance, okay. i can do that,” kie replied, pulling out her phone. “yup. i can call an ambulance.”

“we’re on the damn beach, sarah, how i’ll an ambulance get down here?” pope yelled.

“um… okay…. ask for life flight,” john b yelled. “hurry!”

“jj! please, please, jj…” i sobbed. pressing down on his chest, i cursed over and over again.

“hi… hi, yes, my name’s kie… um. i need a life flight immediately to the beach. uh, yeah track the location. there’s been a major surfing accident and you need to hurry because he’s dying and i don’t know if he’s dead already or not!”

“j, please…”

“come on, rude boy, pull through, you got it!” cleo yelled.

“jj, please hang on, okay?” i whispered in his ear, hoping he could hear me.

i held his hand and listened to the heartbeat monitor. it was beeping slowly. they were lines that were very close to straight lines.

“my baby. you’re gonna be okay, j,” i whispered.

kie put her hand on my shoulder. “the doctor’s coming.”

“okay.”

i didn’t move, though. she smiled. “he’s going to make it.”

happy tears rushed down my face. i looked around at my friends and we all immediately rushed to each other. we all were crying. i hugged everyone individually before returning to the chair i was sitting on.

“but there are a few problems,” the doctor clarified, tapping her clipboard. “he has a concussion and a broken wrist. he has to get surgery and stitches on his stomach.”

my heart clenched. my poor baby. i leaned down and kissed his forehead. “i’ll sign paperwork for everything.”

“you are going to sign paperwork?” the doctor asked. “i’m afraid only legal guardians may sign any paperwork.”

i looked at my friends solemnly. “ma’am i’m afraid his father won’t be able to sign it.”

“then his mother?”

“his mother is gone, miss.” i bit my lip.

“oh. well i don’t know what to say. why can’t his father sign it for him?” she asked.

tears rushed to my eyes. “his father wouldn’t want to sign anything that makes sure his son id healthy and safe. he’d probably just scold him and hurt him for pulling a stunt like that.”

the doctor pursed her lips. “i see.”

“so can i sign the paperwork?” i begged.

“i suppose so.”

i stayed up all night to make sure jj was okay. he slept pretty well. he hasn’t woken up last night, but the doctor said he would wake up in the morning.

i reached over to brush his hair out of his face. i traced circles and patterns on his cheek, peppered kisses on his bare skin, but he still slept soundly. i frowned and rolled over, going to let myself close my eyes for a little bit.

twenty minutes later, i felt an arm snake around my waist. as i was pulled closer to my boy, i turned over and grinned happily.

i was bent with the most beautiful eyes ever, grinning back at me. i immediately kissed him passionately, drowning myself in his lips. when i finally pulled away, i brushed the hair out of his eyes. “jj, oh my gosh.”

“hey, pretty girl,” he grinned. he kissed my cheek and i tightened my arms around his neck.

“i am so mad at you right now, you have no clue.”

“why?” jj asked.

“you know why…”

“i do…”

he smirked. “perhaps i should make up for it?”

“perhaps you should.”

a/n: sobbing banging my head off the wall

i was gonna make it so jj died but i decided not to.

this is so sad tbh

[latenightdaydreams]

Very specific request but König finding gn!reader (who was unambiguously his lover) who was presumed dead in a nursing home. Crippled and scarred, maybe they were also part of the military, but your body was never recovered after the mission. Yet here you are, sitting in some nursing home with a book in your lap and a blanket around your shoulders, looking so much paler and thinner than he remembers. Maybe they wanted to wait until they were strong enough to actually go see him in person themselves, or maybe they're struggling with their self image now. Just headcanons on how he and reader would deal with it, if you want more angst maybe reader is also disabled now, unable to walk without crutches, or developed a chronic illness. I'm just such a sucker for this type of hurt comfort.

🥹As someone who uses arm crutches, this story was close to home lol. Thank you for your request and I hope you enjoy🥰

Finding You (g/n)

Fluff and angst (slightly)

Master List

>cw: internalized ablism, disability

1.3k word count

.

.

Today was just like any other day at the nursing home. You sit in a vintage arm chair with a pale blue crochet blanket around your shoulders, donated from a local artist, you took it as soon as you saw it in the pile. The shade of blue reminding you of König’s eyes.

You miss him, crave him, but you aren’t ready for him to see you. Not like this. Physical therapy has only been helping but only so much, your body still looks wasted away. A deep scar cutting across the left side of your face now, making you feel hideous. You don’t resemble the person König fell in love with and you’re scared that if he sees you, he will fall out of love.

You drop your eyes from the window to your book. You struggle to stay focused on the words when all you want to do is see, even talk to, König. The months have been lonely, your depression only getting worse. Next to you, resting on the chair, are your new arm crutches you’ve been getting use to walking with since your spinal injury. You glare at them with distain for a while before looking back out the window, remembering life before the incident.

The common room is quiet as most people are outside today to enjoy the warm weather. You wish to be outside, but you still feel a level of embarrassment having to use crutches now to walk. You never knew how hard internalized ableism could affect you until you became disabled.

König walks up the stairs and opens the door to the nursing home. He sees a young woman sitting at the front desk and she greets him warmly.

“Hallo, I’m here looking for y/n.” He gives her your full name.

“You’re their first visitor! I’m sure they will be so excited.” She stands and gestures for you to follow her to where you are.

She walks him through long hallways full of rooms, finally he arrives at the end of a hallway with large windows illuminating the room, the walls painted a pale yellow, making the area bright and cheerful. She points to you.

König stares, not recognizing you at first. You’re small, your skin pale and your hair grown out. You haven’t noticed him, dissociating and looking out the window instead. König thanks the woman and begins to slowly approach you. His eyes gleaming with love as he looks over your fragile body.

“Schatz?” König speaks softly to not startle you. He notices the crutches next to you on the chair.

You turn your head to look at him head on. Your eyes widen with surprise to see him. A wave of emotions rushes over you as you realize he is really here. You don’t respond, just stare. You watch as König kneels in front of you and slowly pulls off his mask. His cheeks are red and there’s a small smile on his lips.

“Schatz?” König slowly moves his hand and rests it on your thigh. He has missed how you feel.

“König…” Your voice shaky as you’re overcome with emotions.

Hearing your voice makes his small smile grow, his eyes study your face. Dark circles under your eyes and a deep sadness fills them. A small frown on the edges of your lips. A new scar on your face, he wonders what happened, but won’t ask right now. No matter what, you’re still the most stunning human he has ever laid eyes on.

“I’ve missed you.” His grip slightly tightens.

“I’ve missed you too.” You move your book to the side on the chair, your hand finding his.

“I’ve been looking everywhere for you.” He grasps your hand in his, bringing it up to his lips to kiss. “Why didn’t you call? Write? Something?”

König doesn’t mean to talk about such heavy topics right now, but he is just so full of heart-ache. Life without you has felt so empty.

“I wanted to heal, get better.” You look into his eyes scared of rejection.

“I could help you heal Schatz.”

“I didn’t want you to see me like this…” Your voice cracks as you talk, you drop your gaze to your lap.

He squeezes your hands slightly; he is aware of how much you’ve changed. Not just physically changed, but probably also mental.

“You know that I love you no matter what, right y/n? You’re my light.” König has felt rejected, learning that you were alive yet never tried to reach out to him.

Your frown deepens at his words, tears building up in your eyes. A heavy feeling of guilt and regret washes over you.

“I’m sorry…”

König gently grabs your chin and turns your face to him. “Don’t be sorry. I’m just glad to see you’re alive.”

He looks at you for a while before leaning in and kissing your lips softly. You kiss back and move your free hand to cup his face. You didn’t realize how much you missed him, his touch, until right now; you’ve been suppressing your feelings for so long.

Just then a nurse comes into the room and approaches the both of you. She smiles warmly and places her hand on the back of your chair.

“Today is a beautiful day, you haven’t been out in a while y/n. Why not show your guest around the garden?”

“That sounds like a good idea,” König excitedly agrees. He stands up and reaches his hand out to you.

You let out a deep sigh, not really wanting to do anything. Yet, you grab his hand and stand up, your legs wobble slightly. König notices and quickly wraps an arm around your waist and holds you close. You feel so much lighter in his arms. Holding you steadily, he reaches down and grabs your crutches.

“You need these, right?” He asks in a soft voice as he hands them to you.

You nod and grab them from him. You slip your arms in and stand with them. König softly steps back and lets you stand by yourself. He watches the way you stand and how you rest on your crutches.

You both walk out of the room and to the back door to enter the garden. König walks at a slow pace to keep up with you. His eyes on you the whole time to make sure you don’t fall or need his help in some way. You feel self-conscious as he looks at you, you know it isn’t with malice, yet you can’t help how you feel.

Stepping outside the warm sun hits your skin and you squint your eyes. König just smiles, taking in how precious you are to him. Seeing how far you’ve come in your healing journey makes him proud, he’s always known you were a strong person. He just wishes he could have helped you along the way.

You walk with your crutches, one foot at a time, making sure to not rush yourself and allowing your body to move at a pace it’s comfortable with. The pain from moving already starting to kick in, and it’s written on your face.

“Do you need any help Schatz?”

“No, I’m okay.” You lie not wanting to push König away by asking for support.

König nods, seeing a bench in the distance he begins to slowly guide you there with a hand on your back, not meaning to over step but he sees you struggling and wants to help. Once there, he puts his hands around your waist to help you sit. There are so many things he wants to ask you, but he doesn’t want to overwhelm you. Instead, he simply wraps his arm around you and pulls you close to him. He kisses the top of your head.

“Would you come home?”

“I- I need to heal still.”

“I can hire a nurse for you, you know money isn’t an issue Schatz. I can take time off work as well.”

“I don’t want to be a burden-”

“You are never a burden. Never.” His voice stern but he isn’t angry. “You’re more important than stupid paper work. Please, come home to me.”

You look up at him with teary eyes and just slowly nod your head. You thought when König saw your crutches, your scar, your frail state, he would fall out of love. He would be… disgusted. But no, his love has proven to be unconditional.

[yeoblurbs]

[05:34] angst to fluff, one-shot

Pairing: Choi San x Female Reader

WC: 2k

Warnings: small mentions of drinking (wine), subtle hints of anxiety, an awkward situation in public

Your hands shake beside you, heart hammering in anger as your eyes well up with tears. “That’s not what I intended to happen, San. I would never intentionally fuck up something that meant so much to you!” you throw your hands in the air as you speak, brows furrowed in frustration.

San is quiet; calm. Except his jaw is clenched, eyes narrowed and the dimples you love so much are nowhere to be seen. You want to throw up at the sheer hatred you see in his eyes.

His tongue pokes the inside of his cheek as he takes a deep breath, though the tension in his shoulders stays. “you’re saying it’s not your fault but if you were just nice to her, none of this would’ve happened!” he exclaims angrily.

“I was nice to her!” you cry out desperately. your face is crumpled in pure despair as you hear his next words. “clearly, not enough! so when I go back to work and lose my promotion because my crazy jealous fiancée couldn’t act civil, how will you still say that it’s not your fault?"

You hadn’t meant to cause a scene. San had asked you to come with him to a work party, one announcing his job promotion and you’d been delighted. except upon arriving, he had immediately been torn from your side by fellow coworkers, and while you were nervous, you knew you could handle yourself alone.

the problem arose when you went to use the restroom and in walked three girls, ones you saw speaking to San earlier while casually touching his arms. immediately uncomfortable, you quickly dry your hands intending to leave as soon as you could, except the black-haired one in the middle locks the door before walking right up to you.

she smiles, pearly white teeth and crimson lips, “you’re Sans girlfriend, right? I’m Yuna, his friend.”

if it weren’t for the fact that she locked you inside, you might’ve found her friendly. You smile, tight-lipped yet respectful, “I’m actually his fiancée, y/n. it’s nice to meet you, Yuna.”

her smile sours at your reply, and her friends ignore you entirely as they apply their makeup in the mirror. you know what will occur next is not something peaceful, having watched enough chick flicks to realize things would turn messy if you didn’t leave now. you bow in passing as you walk towards the door, swiftly moving past Yuna and unlocking it with a smile and nod.

except it wasn’t over then, and 30 minutes later, Yuna stands in front of you, her cherry lips parted in shock with a large red wine stain on her white dress. she begins to cry, soft sobs leaving her throat and her friends comfort her while looking at you with rage.

you open your mouth to say something; anything, but Yuna whips her head up and speaks, her voice intending those surrounding you to hear, “I haven’t done anything with San! We’re just friends, I would never go after a guy that’s taken!” her bottom lip curls into a pout. she looks at you with sadness, round eyes filled with tears as she bursts into more sobs. “you didn’t need to dump the wine on me, I’ll stay away from San, I promise!”

you’re in shock, unsure what to do as the circle of Sans coworkers look at Yuna in pity and stare at you with ire. you want to defend yourself, but how could you possibly shout that you hadn’t dumped anything on her, rather, that she dumped it on herself? who would they believe, the coworker with wet eyes or the outsider who stands before her?

but then you remember San; your fiancée, your best friend, and your soulmate. except before you can search the crowd for him, you feel a grip on your wrist as you’re pulled from the scene. you can hear him whispering apologies as he bows to fellow coworkers, but you’re too stumped at the entire situation while he brings you back to his car.

so that’s how you’re here, in your apartment at 12:32am shaking in distress as you are blamed for a situation that was not your fault. but you could handle Yunas friends blaming you, you could handle their coworkers looking at you with distaste, however, what you could not handle was San, your San, looking at you with loveless eyes as if you were nothing but a pesky, immature girlfriend. you hate that he trusts you this little; that your word wasn’t enough to him. you know you would believe him had the roles been reversed, and perhaps that is what hurts you most.

“I don’t know what you want me to say, San. I told you I didn’t do it, she poured it on herself and if you can’t believe me then maybe that says something about this relationship,” at your last sentence his face drops. his shoulders have released some tension and his eyes carry less hatred. but it’s not enough for you anymore. hurtful words have been thrown your way and you didn’t think you could stand to look at his cold gaze any longer.

you take a deep breath before wiping your cheeks and grabbing your own car keys. San has stepped forward, he looks confused as you turn to him, “I’m going to stay at my friend's house tonight. Go get some sleep and we’ll talk soon.” you utter tiredly yet no less firm.

he looks slightly panicked as his hand darts up to grab your wrist, but you aren’t in the mood to explain yourself any longer; you shake his hand off and wait for him to reply.

“wait.. you’re leaving? we need to still.. let’s just talk about this. don’t leave before we resolve this.” he pleads softly. the anger has washed from his form and his face holds nothing but a soft frown, fury nowhere to be seen. but it’s still not enough, at least not right now. “no, San. I don’t think I can properly speak to you right now after hearing you blame me for something that was not my fault. you made it clear that you don’t trust me. I need space.” you glance up at him before looking to the door, “sleep it off and I’ll see if I’m in the mood to talk tomorrow.”

But San isn't angry anymore, no, he could handle losing his job promotion, hell, he could handle losing his job entirely. what would destroy him most is losing you, and he feels guilt claw at his chest when he thinks about the words he carelessly spewed tonight. he needs you to know he's sorry, but how can he do that if you're gone? San looks at you in agony, eyes filled with anguish at the mere thought of you leaving right now. “do you have to? can you just stay? please? I’m sorry, I’m sorry for all of this but please let’s just sit down and talk.” he swallows and bites his lip, tears springing to his eyes, “don’t go.. don’t leave me” he pleads. "At least let me apologize."

the sight of his tears brings you pain, but you know you need the space for at least one night. you sigh and approach him. his teary eyes stare into your sad ones while you cup his reddened cheeks and kiss his forehead.

“I’ll be back tomorrow, san-ah. I’m hurt, but I still love you, and we will still talk.. but right now I really need the space. I hope you can respect that." you speak softly, aware of his fragile state despite the fact that you, too, are hurting just as much, if not more than he is.

Sans lips press together in another frown as he nods and kisses your temple gently, "Okay, I understand. I still want you to know I'm sorry, and I love you." your eyes fill with tears at the gesture and comment before you turn to leave.

ꕥ

You spend the night with your friend, updating her on what happened at the party. she tells you to leave San for good, but even she knows you would never do that, at least not over something like this. you arrive back at the apartment sometime in the afternoon, taking your time to reflect on the argument and process how you felt. you come to the conclusion that you will forgive San once he apologizes, though he will have to make it up to you with more than a simple 'sorry' this time.

you place your keys on the counter, taking off your jacket, and hanging it up. you look around in question, wondering where San was and how he could leave without saying anything when the two of you had yet to resolve yesterday's argument. you pad over to your shared bedroom, opening the door, and walk towards the lump on your bed. you pull back the cover and smile at the sight.

Sans hair is splayed out on the pillow, cheek smushed with his lips in a pout. your smile dims when you notice the redness beneath his eyes, realizing he must have cried quite a bit. you cup his cheek, rubbing your thumb underneath his eye as you lean down and place a gentle kiss on his forehead.

when you raise your head, his eyes flutter open. "morning, baby" you whisper with another kiss, this time to his nose. he crinkles his nose cutely at the action, before sitting up and attacking you in a hug. you fall on the bed with a soft thud while he lays his head on your chest and rubs his cheek on you; an endearing habit he had when he needed comfort.

you open your mouth to speak, but he beats you to it. "I'm sorry. yesterday I was a complete ass. there is no excuse for how I behaved or the things I said." he lifts his head up and looks at you, face inches apart, "I was afraid to lose my promotion, but still, I shouldn't have blamed you for something that wasn't your fault." he sighs and the two of you sit up facing each other.

"I..I'm so incredibly sorry for what I said and the way I handled the situation." he pauses and reaches for your hand; you notice his is shaking. "I've been so worried about my job, that I treated you like shit even though I knew it was wrong. I know it'll take time for you to fully forgive me," he squeezes your hand and looks you in the eye, "but I hope you know I love you, and I'll do my best to make things right."

you smile tearfully at his formal-like apology. while the wounds were still fresh, seeing his serious demeanor and hearing his reassuring words that he did truly love you was comforting. still, though, there was one thing you couldn't shake off; one comment that had you spiraling. "Do you still think I'm a crazy jealous fiancée?" you utter lightly, though your heart feels heavy when you ask.

San seems to feel worse at your question, as he looks at you with a pout and pulls your hand gently, maneuvering your body onto his. your head falls into the crevice of his neck. you move to look at him, until he places his hand on the back of your head softly, raking it through your hair.

"of course not! I was a dumb idiot who didn't know what he was talking about. if anything, I'm the one who gets crazy jealous." he grumbles sulkily at his last sentence, and you giggle when you realize he's not wrong. San can get jealous easily, always clinging onto you and nuzzling your neck for attention.

his words bring you comfort, and while San still has to make it up to you, you know the two of you can get through this. you place a soft kiss on his neck and hear his breath stutter before he squeezes you closer to him. you lift your head and stare at his face closely before kissing the corners of his red eyes. he blinks at each kiss and you smile at the endearing action before placing your lips on his.

yeah, the two of you would be okay. you were sure of it.

a/n: was supposed to be a drabble but i love happy endings:(

[shadowdaddies]

Hey love! I was wondering if you could write a fic with reader x one of the acotar men (ur pick) where reader has been feeling lonely. Not too bad but like enough where she’s sad and just wants to spend more time with him and the IC bc they’re all her friends

Thank you in advance ❤️

Hey love! I went with Azzy for this because I LOVE HIM I felt like it made sense with the story💜

Never Alone

Azriel x Reader (ft. the IC)

You admired the way the morning light glowed softly against Azriel’s golden brown skin, his onyx hair rumpled as he stretched his muscles. You sprawled in the sheets of your massive bed, sleepily watching your mate as he put on his leathers. 

Your heart clenched as he began to arm himself with weapons, remembering what purpose for which he was leaving you this early in the morning - another mission. You sighed, unable to help the frown that marred your features as the loneliness washed over you. Azriel hadn’t even left yet, but you knew the feeling that was soon to accompany his absence all too well. 

Hearing your sigh, Azriel turned around to face you. Concern washed over his face as his took in your saddened expression. “What is it, angel?” he whispered, moving over to sit on the edge of the bed as he brought a hand to gently stroke your hair. “I’m just going to miss you, is all,” you murmured with a sniffle. Azriel’s eyes narrowed, silently communicating he knew there was more that you weren’t telling him. Damn him for reading you so well.

With a small huff, you sat up further in bed, head propped up on one arm as you traced patterns on his thigh with your other hand. Refusing to look him in the eye out of embarrassment, you admitted, “I’ve just been feeling lonely recently. With you gone on missions so often, and everyone else in the family having their own mates and responsibilities... I don’t know. I know I’m not alone, but I still feel lonely. People care, but I know I’m not their biggest priority, and I just feel alone at times. Does that make sense?” 

You felt Azriel’s scarred fingers gently tip your chin towards him, a look of guilt on his face as he stroked your cheek with his thumb. “I am so sorry if I have ever made you feel like you are not the most important thing in my life. I-“ You cut him off. “You do not make me feel unimportant. I understand how important your role is in our Court - your willingness to sacrifice for the greater good is one of the many things I love about you. It’s just harder some days than others, Az.” 

He nodded in understanding, processing your words. “Really, Az. I love you, I’m proud of you, and I’ll see you when you get home,” you promised, turning to press a kiss to his palm as you held it against your cheek. Azriel leaned down, resting his forehead against yours. “I love you, angel. I’ll be back as soon as I can to show you how loved you are.”

~~~

You’d drifted off to sleep while reading in the library - a familiar hand on your shoulder waking you, eyes opening to see your favorite hazel ones staring back at you. Arms wrapping around Azriel, you hugged him fiercely, kissing his neck before pulling back to kiss from his jawline to his lips. “I missed you so much,” you whispered in between kisses. “I missed you more, angel.” Azriel pulled back, taking your hands in his as a rare bright smiled graced his face. “I have a surprise for you.”

You were bouncing with joy as Azriel helped you up, taking your hand in his as he guided you out of the library. He swiftly pulled you around to his front, wrapping his arms around your waist, leaning down to press a sloppy kiss to your cheek. You giggled, looking down to see flowers and glitter covering the hallway. “Az, what is all this about?” He just hummed, guiding you towards the doorway to the dining room.

The entire Inner Circle was seated at the table, smiles on their faces as they greeted you with hugs. You took your seat next to Azriel, noticing how the table was filled with your favorite foods. Your confusion was obvious as you turned to Az, whispering, “honey, what is going on?” 

Rhys interrupted, standing with a glass in hand, raised in toast. He looked at you with a kind smile. “Today, we celebrate you. For everything that you do for all of us, and how much you make our lives better.” Your eyes welled with tears at this kind words, the rest of the IC cheering in toast to you. You laughed, “you guys know it’s not my birthday, right?”

Azriel chuckled, pulling you into his side as he pressed a kiss to your temple. “We know it’s not your birthday, my love. But we all agreed that you deserve a celebration. Just for being you.” Mor eagerly leaned forward, telling you all about her plans to take you shopping this week - Feyre butting in to ask for your help assisting with her art classes, if you’d like. Elain would love your help in the garden, and Cassian and Nesta were eager to invite you to training. 

Your mind was reeling with the sudden attention, feeling the need to interject. “I’m so thankful that you all are so willing to let me interrupt your plans this week, but it’s not necessary.” Feyre put her hand over yours, giving it a gentle squeeze as she assured you. “Azriel mentioned that you were lonely. We all assumed that you wanted that space to yourself, but please don’t think that you aren’t a priority to all of us. You’re my family, and I know everyone here agrees that you are special and loved. If you ever feel lonely, we are here for you. And these plans aren’t just for this week - I want you to help at the art studio, with Nyx, to go to dinner...” Cassian interjected at that moment, giving you a look of sincere encouragement. “We are always here, when you need us. You should never have to be lonely. You’re my sister.”

You leaned into Azriel’s embrace, head on his shoulder as you murmured a “thank you”, continuing the conversation as you made plans with your family. 

As dinner finished, you sat back in your chair, quietly admiring the scene before you - a table full of the people you loved, all enjoying each others’ company. Eyes welling with happy tears, you smiled brightly as you took in each face in the room, bright with joy. All of them gathered here with a purpose - intent on showing you what was clear. You are loved, and you are not alone.

[ajortga]

her healer

pairing: vada cavell x fem reader

i haven't started on lead part 3 for anyone wondering

-

Vada hates seeing you sad.

If you were to think back to everything you found therapeutic. It would’ve been music. Music was like a flower of comfort to you. But if music was a flower, Vada was a whole meadow of dandelions and a paddock of butterflies.

You loved her.

She was like a bright soul to coax your shy one. She memorized every detail, birthmark, and small actions to find out if something was wrong.

You play with your necklace when you're uncomfortable, fiddle with your hands when you're nervous. Your eyebrows furrow when you're worried or disgusted.

When you smile, your lips twitch more upwards when it's genuine, if your dimples are visible, it shows you're truly happy. When your nose scrunches, you’re teasing and flustered.

When you're jealous, she can see it in your eyes, a brewing storm, but hidden behind those soft eyes. She can sense your sadness. There was no way to figure out when you were sad, it was different every time. But Vada always just.. Knew.

She notices your eyes aren't as warm, they were more vulnerable when you were sad.

Vada hates seeing you sad.

She knows you like the back of her hand.

Kisses your forehead when you are uncertain, peppers it when stressed. Showers you with cuddles when you are down, whispering sweet nothings in your ear.

Oh. And when you were sad.

Sad was the worst to see you in.

The first time when Vada saw you cry, she felt her heart tear into a million. You had come home from school, you were quieter than usual, you smiled, but Vada knew something was wrong. Your dimples didn’t show. 

They always showed when you were with her.

You were wearing your earphones, headphones to top it off, the bags under your eyes a little visible.

You had assured her everything was okay, although when you were, you would say something like, "Vads, I promise I'm okay."

But that time you didn't, you said, "I'm okay, really don't worry about me." Your voice was barely a whisper as you turned away to go to your next class.

Vada that day found out your childhood dog had passed away. His name was Oakley and he would run to her everytime she stepped foot in your house. Licking her face, playfully jumping. 

When school had ended, you gave her a hug goodbye, telling her that you couldn’t come over today. You hugged her longer then usual, like you needed it as you buried your face against her neck, she could swear she heard your breath stutter with a small sniffle as she held you.

She decided she would visit, buying all your favorite snacks, along with some sour patch so you two could share, maybe watch a movie too.

She snuck in by the window she always sneaks in.

When she opened your room, it was dark, the only light was the small crack from the window and the smell of a vanilla candle being lit.

All of her snacks drop to the floor when she sees you.

She found you crying under the blankets when she came to visit, your figure shaking under the blanket that was above you, only your wavy hair being seen.

Your cries were heartbreaking.

It was worse than being cut and ripped, it was much worse.

She didn't know what to do, she wanted to shower you, spoil you with gifts. But she knew that wouldn't work. She stood there for a moment.

Then she knew. Somehow. Something had just told her.

She crawled into bed with you. 

You felt the bed shift and as soon as you felt her presence. You slightly shifted, turning around to see her. Your eyes were bloodshot, teary eyes as you looked at her, panicked like she saw something she shouldn’t have. You blubbered, sniffing as she whispered, “Come here, oh I’m so sorry..” then, your tears began to fall down like a river.

Her heart ached, “Don’t cry..” She whispered, comfortingly, your body curling against her chest as you sobbed, hiccupping every few minutes.

She hugged you tightly, shushing you as she kissed your forehead. She rubbed circles on the nape of your neck. Your eyes were half open, droopy, tired. 

She had never seen a side of you like this, you were so vulnerable.

You were burying your face against her chest so tightly as if she could shield you, if she could take your pain away and take your place, she would.

You were shaking, and that was enough to break her heart.

Vada hates seeing you sad.

It hurt her to see you like this, especially when she knew you were just a girl who was always sweet, never sad. 

Her eyes softened, she knew if she tried to talk you couldn’t talk back to her, you managed to get out a, “He was e-everything t-to me.”

She breathed, “I know,” gently rocking you, “I know.”

So she cupped your cheeks, making you look at her, like really look at her.

When your eyes met her doe ones, you practically melted in her arms. 

Vada cooed, caressing your freckled cheeks that were damp with tears.

She pulled you close again, having your head bury in her neck as she hummed softly.

As she hummed, she kissed the top of your head, saying things like, “I’m here.” “I love you.” “I hate seeing you cry.” “Don’t be sad, I’m sad when you’re sad.” “Shh, come here, it’s all going to be okay.”

Your sobs quieted down, sniffles present as your body stopped shaking, now just light quivers. Your eyes, she knew it wouldn’t have been as warm as they were. But this was different, your eyes were filled with hurt, she couldn’t describe it. But she hated it.

She cradled your body as she whispered,  “Let me kiss it all better.”

She kisses your face everywhere, a soft warmth lingering even when her lips leave.

Your hiccups stop.

Your high tide range of tears turning into a soft ripple.

You pull her closer, as much as there was a small crack in your heart. There was one Vada, her millions of love working to just glue that one piece back together, gently.

You feel your eyes grow heavy, you just realize how exhausted you were.

Your body feels drowsy, her scent comforts you, always so sweet and inviting.

She rubs your back, kissing your forehead once, twice, three times, gently humming.

She feels your body stop shaking, “Are you okay?” she whispers.

Vada doesn’t hear a response, looking down to find you asleep on her chest.

She exhales a sigh, she would give the world to see you happy.

Vada hates seeing you sad.

But you both know she’s the only one that can fix it.

[gtgbabie0]

- James Potter x reader

{After losing a Quidditch match James is upset, but luckily you’re there to comfort him}

Hope you enjoy lovelies!! 💕

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆

James knew from the moment he woke up late that today was going to be awful, and he was only proven right time and time again.

The weather was horrible for starters, the rain was just relentless as it continued to pelt down and despite the growing storm the match still wasn’t called off, the same match that James’ team was losing horribly in.

Disappointed felt like a complete understatement, he was distraught, and by the time he got home all those built-up emotions had taken the form of tears and they built up in his tired eyes. He wanted nothing more than for the ground beneath him to swallow him completely.

As soon as you heard the door open you dropped everything you were doing and rushed to the hallway, “James! How was the-“ You immediately stopped yourself as you took in the sight of his teary face, the way his shoulders dropped with exhaustion.

Your chest tightens at the sorrowful sight, you notice the way his eyebrows are pulled together as he unties his shoelaces before kicking them off, “Terrible” he sighs, his hand running through his rain-damp hair.

You walk closer to him the back of your hand wiping away the stray tears that fall down his cheek, and it doesn’t take much before his head falls onto your shoulder, your hand smoothes against his back, and he lets out a shaky sigh against your skin.

“I’m gonna go shower, lovely,” he says, trying his best to keep his tone strong but his attempts are pointless as his voice quivers with sadness.

You nod softly as he leans to press a gentle kiss to your cheek, “Okay, if you need anything just ask” You smile as he makes his way upstairs.

You busied yourself with housework and other small things as you tried to rack your brain for any ideas of how to make his day just a little better. You hated seeing him so defeated and you wanted nothing more than to hear his laugh.

You were just about to start dusting the bookshelf when he calls your name, and you were quick to make your way upstairs to him.

James is sitting on the edge of the bed, with freshly washed hair and clean clothes, but his face is still as teary, “Could you help me, please?” He asks, handing you the face cream and you gladly take the offer sitting down in front of him on the bed.

“Of course I can baby” you smile, pressing a kiss to his hairline.

He wanted to be close to you, wanted to feel your soft hands against his face as you soothe all his worries and stress away, he wanted the warmth of your love to blanket him.

James watches as you collect some of the product on your fingers before gently rubbing it into his skin, and he sighs at the feeling, his eyes closing with the newfound peace. Your thumbs gently graze against his cheeks and you can’t help but pull him closer into you, pressing a sweet kiss to the corner of his mouth, then another to the tip of his nose.

He chuckles at the feeling of your soft lips as the pepper kisses all over his face, and the sweet sound of his breathy laughter only prompts you to continue your journey down to his jaw.

His hands settle on your hip as he pulls you, guiding, you to sit on his lap as he leans against the bed frame.

You rest your forehead against his, his damp curls pressing against your skin, “Thank you” he whispers, his thumb rubbing soothing circles into your hip.

“What for?” You giggle, brushing your nose against his ever so slightly.

“For being perfect” he simply responds, his hands traversing underneath your shirt, soothing at the sides of your waist.

The butterflies that invade your stomach are all too prominent and his sweet words make you feel all floaty.

“We lost, the match I mean, pretty bad” he sighs, his head resting against your shoulder as you play with the ends of his hair that sit against the nap of his neck.

You turn your head slightly to press a kiss to the side of his head, “I’m sorry sweetheart” you whisper, wincing at the feeble words, yes, of course, you were sorry he lost, but there was nothing you could outright do to make it better, and the words ‘I’m sorry’ are the only words that felt right.

But what you can do is make him happy, “Why don’t we watch that thing you’ve been talking about?” You suggest, smiling at the way he visibly lights up, how his eyes seem to flicker with excitement.

He honestly didn’t even expect you to have been listening to his rambling let alone even remember it. It was a documentary about aquatic life that he thought looked pretty interesting, one of those things you mention in the moment and never really get around to doing it.

“Yeah I would like that- could we order something to eat?” He asks, his hands soothing against your thighs.

You nod, “Of course, we can” You smile as he presses kisses against your neck his nose nuzzling against your skin, and before you could even move he cups your jaw.

“I mean it, you’re perfect,” he says, pressing another kiss to your lips, his heart fluttering, and you both spend the entire night entangled with each other, surrounded by nothing but love.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆

[icantpickabiasugh]

Our Secret-yjw

☆*:.｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆

Our secret- yang Jungwon

Parring-Yang Jungwon x fem!reader

Summary- Dim lights and locker room vibes leave mutual friends in a bit of a situation

Word count- 1k+

Warnings- SMUT!! Hickeys, making out, awkwardness, like bit of fluff. Lmk if there is anything more!

Reading time-4 minutes (in head)

A/n. Heyyy so this is my first fan fic ever I’m kinda nervous ahhh. Sorry it took awhile it’s currently 1:30 am but I wanted to post something before I went to bed! I was writing the Han fic but hit a bit of a wall so I quickly wrote this I was planning on doing a pt. 2 but only if you guys want. Please please PLEASE send feedback I could really use it! Enjoy my loves-☺️😘

You didn’t like going out much, you felt that it was a waste of time to get wasted with a bunch of people you didn’t know in a hot gross frat house, instead you rather liked the idea of spending your Saturday nights on the couch with your favorite drama and some snacks.

“Come on y/n, it’s the pep rally you HAVE to come!”

“Do I though, do I really”

Your friend Yujin however loved going out and meeting new people.

“Oh come on party pooper it’s your second year here and away from home and you’ve only been to TWO parties, you know how sad that is y/n?”

“FINE fine! But as after I’m going home I’m not leaving to some party”

You’d meet up with all your friends and their friends at the pep rally and go find a good view with some drinks and snacks

You left to go to the bathroom.

Excusing yourself from the group you go to the locker rooms looking for the bathroom.

You’re just outside the boy's football team’s locker room near the bathrooms you see Jungwon exiting giving him a small smile and walking past a couple feet away he calls out your name.

“Hey y/n”

Slowly turning around to look at him a bit confused

“Y-yeah? Jungwon?”

Jungwon was a part of your friends circle but you never really talked you saw a lot of his posts and comments on insta though and you did have the occasional chat online but that was about it what would he want to talk about?

“I was wondering y-you don’t post about Changbin anymore, did d-did you guys break up?”

“Ah y-yeah we did about three months ago”

“Oh well I’m-im sorry”

“Ah no need to be it was mutual”

“Well in that case I was wondering if maybe you wanted to hang out… sometime?”

“That'd be great Jungwon id love to”

Hearing keys rattling and someone jogging you get startled as Jungwon quickly pulls you into the changing rooms

“Wha-“

“Shhhh, we’re not meant to be here. Quietly run into that shower stall”

He softly whispers into your ear.

Backed against the wall and Jungwon’s body you are stuck breathing in his intoxicating scent you watch as he peeks out of the small stall and out into the looker room

“I think they’re leaving”

A second after saying so he’s push-up against your faces mere inches apart. He puts a finger to his lips brushing yours in the process

Sighing in relief he straightens up his posture a little

“S-sorry I didn’t mean to-mhnp”

Quick to shut him up you pull him in for a kiss by the back of his neck

“Mmhm~mmm y-y/n we should~mmhm mmm s-stop”

Pulling away confused you look at him

“D-do you not like me!?”

"NO no I-I do I really do it’s just, are YOU sure you want to do this? I get it if you're not over your last relationship-“

“What are you on about of course I want this I've wanted this for 3 years”

Wha- t-three years!?”

“Yes okay, now shut up and kiss me”

“Fine by me”

You and Jungwon had been gone from your friends for like fifteen minutes now and since then things had gotten a little more heated.

Your hand where in his hair as he suckles on your skin just under your ear his hand held your waist as he kisses the span of your neck making a trail back to your lips he moans as you pull his hair.

“Fuck I want you so bad”

“We can’t, the game will be over soon and the others will want to leave”

“Fuck the game and fuck the others I want you here and I want you now”

“Hell Jungwon you're so hot”

Releasing a shaky breath he moves to pull up your dress.

Moving your panties to the side he runs a finger through your folds and up your slit you moan at the feeling

“Ohh shit, Jungwon please”

“Please what baby, use your words”

“Please fuck me, ahh please I need it”

“Good girl” he growls in your ear undoing his pants and pulling his hard cock out it hits his stomach with a slap

“Jump baby”

Doing so you jump up and wrap your legs around his waist. positioning his cock at your entrance he slides it up and down your folds teasing you a bit

“You sure you want this baby”

“Couldn’t be more certain, now hurry up and put it in”

“Nghhh fuck baby you're so tight”

Giving you time to adjust to his size you slowly start rolling your hips on his.

Now Jungwon wasn’t awfully long as he was thick with a long vein running from the base of his cock to his pretty pink tip

As he stands moving he starts finding a steady pace and angle after shifting a bit he hit a squishy spot inside of you that felt just oh so good seeming happy with the sudden loud moan he’s pulled from you he smirks

“Did I find it, baby”

To fucked dumb to give a response you babble out his name.

He soon picks up the pace hitting that spot fast and hard each time

“J-Jungwon I’m gonna-fuck! I’m gonna cum!”

“Do it baby cum all over my big cock”

“Ahh ahh fuck shit I can’t hold it!”

He whispers in your ear one last time holding you tight against him “cum”

He’s quick to follow suit cumming deep In you he fucks you both through your highs

Pulling out he replaces his cock with his two fingers

“Keep it In for me yeah?”

Nodding softly you catch your breath and let him take care of you

“You did so good for me, I’m so proud” he whispers kissing your teary cheeks

☆*:.｡. .｡.:*☆

Walking hand in hand back to your friends you find them coming the opposite way

“Hey there you guys are we’ve been looking for you two for ages” called out Sunoo

“Hey why are you guys holding hands” Jake questions

“Y/n IS THAT A HICKEY on your neck!!?” Yujin yells running at you

“Shit” you mutter under your breath.

☆*:.｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆