#I’ve been out a lot and being around people for extended periods just

[letteredlettered]

Hi!! Have you ever struggled with burnout, depression, or overwork? Currently in my first job post college and it’s been very intense as we are currently like 3 people doing the work of a team designed for 7 people (two roles they are working to fill and two people are out on leave -> one is out on vacation and the other on parental leave). Have spent many ours on overtime (around two days a week I usually sleep five or six hours and spend a few more hours working —> other days I work a bit less but still some overtime) for the last few months. It’s really hard to decompress and stop thinking about work as I work remotely. I need to get better at setting limits and advocating for myself but I think one issue I’ve been dealing with is getting caught in a cycle of having a lot so having not a lot of time to do an analysis of like what needs to change and this is my bandwidth. Also it’s hard to predict bandwidth sometimes because I’m still very new to this industry and department, so I’m still learning how much coordination is necessary to get something done. Another problem is that everyone is stretched to their limit and extremely busy, so I feel kind of bad rejecting projects. I think an issue is that I also have relatively low self-esteem and confidence but a deep desire to be “good” from like an academic perspective and a work perspective, and the main leader of my team is someone who I like a lot and appreciates what I do, so I keep trying to do more or at least meet expectations. I also receive assignments from different people (five people total, usually), so people generally don’t have visibility as to my bandwidth unless I speak up. One person in particular gave me a lot of assignments with a good deal of time pressure and was the person that I was working the closest with —> still trying to catch up to some of the more evergreen projects I had with him because the other projects I’ve had in the last two months have even way too intense to do anything else. I’m really grateful for this job and I like a lot of the people I work with, but I’m kind of struggling.

I mention all of this because I really respect the way you are able to commit to creative projects and create incredible works and really focus on making something. I’ve never really had an ability to stick to a creative project or hobby for an extended period of time —> frequently I disappoint myself in my lack of consistency or follow-through for a lot of my personal goals. I also really appreciate the way that you engage with certain themes in your work and value your perspective. So just kind of curious if you’ve been through this before or have any thoughts about this sort of thing

I've thought a lot about what to tell you here.

What anyone would recommend is that you set boundaries and take care of yourself. They'd say that your well-being is more important than your work. If they read your ask carefully they'd realize that maybe your performance in this job is connected to your well-being in your mind. If they're looking at the strings that control the system they're going to tell you capitalism has brainwashed us into thinking that we should sacrifice our health for the sake of production, and then they'll tell you you should do what you can to break out of the capitalist mentality. If they're not excited about seizing the means of production then their in-universe advice (in-the-capitalist-universe advice) is going to point out that you cannot produce more for the capitalist machine if you're burnt out (I'd call these people the neoliberals of tumblr but I'm not sure that exists; I haven't seen it).

But none of that is really addressing the problem here, because you already know all of that, or if you don't know it, knowing that isn't going to help you. You don't need to be told to set boundaries. You know you accept too many projects; you know that you haven't been clear with your colleagues about your bandwidth. You know you're trying too hard to please others and that part of the reason is you have a low self-esteem.

Something that people don't talk about enough is how bad it feels to set boundaries. When people advise others to "set boundaries" it's always as if it's never occurred to anyone else to stand up for themselves. The problem is that it usually has occurred to us, but it's hard to do and feels bad. Hearing "stand up for yourself!" repeatedly can sometimes help us feel like we did the right thing when we do manage to stand up for ourselves, but it can just as often make you feel even worse when you can't stand up for yourself. You're being overworked and you're not doing the thing that everyone tells you you should do.

And another thing that people do not talk about enough is that most workplaces do not like employees who set boundaries for themselves. They like people who say yes. You often won't get in trouble for setting reasonable limits for yourself, but you won't advance. The ones who work late and work on weekends and take on every project and say nothing about bandwidth are usually the ones who get promoted. I'm not saying this because it's right or okay. It's another flaw in the capitalist system. But it is very often true, and I've been a little frustrated that in all these glorious discussions about boundary-setting, this is not something that gets talked about more.

So what to do, when you know the answers, but it doesn't feel great, and might not get you where you want to go?

Spend time with your feelings. A lot of time with your feelings. Imagine ways to communicate your bandwidth. Imagine how you would feel in each scenario. Pick scenarios that feel more comfortable and less intimidating for you. Imagine saying no to a new project. Imagine how you would feel doing that. Pick a way of doing it that feels the most manageable.

Think about your colleagues, what you like about them and why. Imagine how they would feel if they knew that you were struggling. Imagine having an honest conversation with them about how hard this is for you. Would they listen open and compassionately? Would they try to make changes that could help you? Or would they say, "We're all going through it," and "there's nothing to be done?" Imagine saying to them, "I know we're all going through this, because of the staffing challenges we're facing," and "I know there's not much to be done about this, but this is how I'm feeling." Would they accept your vulnerability? Would it make you feel bad to be vulnerable in that way? Would it make you feel worse to be vulnerable in that way or to say nothing?

That's not a leading question. Saying nothing is okay. There have been many times where I am facing a problem and I realized that doing nothing was the thing that made me feel best. There were other times when I really didn't want to do something and I knew it would be incredibly hard, but I knew I would feel much better having done it.

Think about your self-esteem and confidence. Why don't you feel confident? When you imagine saying no, and it feels bad, what makes it feel so bad? Is it because other people don't say no? Are you measuring yourself against those other people? How can you stop doing that? Or is it because you feel like a good worker always says yes? Where did you get that idea? Was it an idea communicated to you by people who love you? By society? Are there people who haven't made you feel that your worth as a person was predicated on how much you were able to accomplish? When is the last time you spent time with them? What makes you feel good about yourself? When is the last time you did it? Are there things you can do outside of work to boost your confidence? What are they? Can you do them? Why not? If work is holding you back from doing them, is it worth it?

It's okay if work feels worth it. I'm not endorsing the capitalist machine when I say that it is okay to do something that is really difficult or unpleasant for a certain amount of time to get where you are going. But if that's what you're going to do, then develop a plan of escape. Ask yourself how long you're willing to put up with this. Ask yourself what the next step in your career or life journey is. Ask yourself what you will put up with to get there and what is unacceptable. Write it down if you have to, then try to abide by that, and if you are unable to bear your plan six months down the line, make a new one.

I am fortunate in that these kinds of questions come really naturally to me, and I think they must not come so naturally for a lot of other people. Definitely, there are blocks in my mind; I'm not always able to understand myself or my own feelings; I don't know what's best for myself or how to make myself do things I want. But this kind of thinking is not going to give you immediate answers. Instead, it's going to build the skill of getting to know yourself.

The ultimate question you should be asking is "What will make me happy?" It sounds like a simple question, but it is in fact the most difficult of all. It is the question we struggle with every day, and every book that was ever written, every song that was ever sung, every painting that was ever painted is about that, in the end. The answer to that question is the meaning of life. Most people never find it, but the search is worth it.

It's definitely worth it.

[earthstellar]

still thinking about Earthspark Bumblebee being stuck with the kids entirely by himself for any slightly extended period of time and it’s so funny 

because I keep thinking about all the stuff kids have said to me when I’ve been babysitting or back when I worked in education and it’s so good 

there is no way Bumblebee would be fully prepared, at this stage, for Child Questions and Statements 

some real things children have said to me: 

-”I’M ANGRY” “thank you for telling me! why are you feeling angry?” “BECAUSE!!! RAIN ISN’T MADE OF ICE [takes big breath] CREEEEEEAM”

-”when the sun goes down it’s good because the sun needs to sleep too, but then the moon comes out at night so when does the moon sleep? WHEN DOES IT SLEEP?” 

(this was eventually resolved by me reading them “Goodnight Moon” as proof that the moon does in fact sleep, because why would we tell it goodnight if it didn’t also have a bedtime)

-”since dinosaurs were real, are we real?” 

-”if dead people live in cemeteries, how do they get their food underground? can we call Pizza Hut? I want pizza like dead people!!! I WANT DEAD PEOPLE PIZZA” (this eventually became “peepza” the longer this demand continued) 

-”planes go up. if I jump hard enough with super jump power, could I go to France? can we get a trampoline? I wanna go to France. WAIT!!! WOULD I NEED A PASS-PORP??? I DON’T HAVE A PASS-PORP!! NOOO” 

-”I AM APPLE MAN” [child proceeds to walk into the room swinging an apple around in a tote bag over his head, like some kind of medieval flail] 

-”I DON’T WANNA PLAY!” “oh no, why not?” “A BIRD POOPED ON MY FAVOURITE TREE” 

-”TODAY I LEARNED WE HAVE WATER INSIDE US!!! NOT JUST PEE!!!! pee pee pee pee pee pee pee pee” 

-”how does the floor work?” 

(legitimately a good question but it will be a while before they can apply for architectural engineering school, we ended up watching a documentary on how Tudor houses were constructed to try to solve this one lmao) 

-”I looked at my pen, I looked too hard, and it stopped working. I have mind powers like Mr Professor from X-MEN!!” [child proceeded to spend the entire day trying to “be strong brained” by staring at things] 

now, of course, the kid/Terrans are a bit more developed than this, a lot of these were from younger children, which is probably obvious 

but I can foresee there being a lot of questions about Earth etc. that Bumblebee might genuinely not know the answer to, or he might get faced with child non-sequiturs that throw him off

and because the Terrans may not actually understand yet how certain natural events (like rain) occur, I can imagine there would be some interesting questions, some of which might be more immediately answerable and some which would probably take more work 

I feel like Nightshade would ask more scientifically inquisitive questions which Bee might not be able to answer, stuff like that

but either way, there would be so many questions 

and some of them are bound to be wild 

lmao 

[worldsokayestmagicalgirl]

The first batch of pictures for Amoré's character journal are here! Also I have been so super sick that I've literally had nothing to do but to work on this for like almost 2 weeks so...

The cover to cover tour officially starts here. All I can say about the front & back is that I lament my lack of experience with my Cricut when I made these decals. I only had 2 "fun" colors to work with at the time & I was still getting comfortable drawing in Procreate, so my silhouette art leaves a lot to be desired compared to some stuff I've made recently. I also found it's incredibly easy to burn this leather book.

But she's volume one, everything with her is a learning experience, & I realized as much as it helps to have a mini heat press for tight corners & small spaces, the cloth barrier they suggest you use between the vinyl & the iron tends to make things harder to press on this scale. So instead I gotta quickly tap straight on the transfer film & hope I don't burn anything around it :(´◦ω◦｀):ﾟﾟ

So at the risk of thoroughly exposing my inner theater kid, Amoré set the precedent with how I went forward creating campaign characters. I started off collecting 5 songs to make a mini story arc (almost like a show choir set list 🙃) that helps me figure out an outline for the kind of story I wanna give them.

Somehow Amoré ended up with a truly horrendous blend of rock & theatre. Absolutely incredibe. No wonder she's always such a dramatic bitch.

It was a lot easier to go in & add little decals around these lyrics. I'm definitely cursed with the Too Much™ gene, but I enjoy the little pops of color they give ✨ plus it justifies me hoarding all these vinyl scraps printing stuff this small lol.

Stat sheet!

In all honesty, as my first character I had no fucking clue what I was doing when I placed these & if I could go back & change one thing I'd probably swap her Intelligence & her Wisdom. She’s definitely more people smart than book smart.

But everything else is...very accurate. She has all the upper body strength of a chicken nugget. Plus on top of the (already) negative I traded disadvantage on everything DEX for magic crystal shoes that can be periodically harvested. Just a way for her to carry around the family fortune without actually having to return to the vault✨

For something that started so average, her CON became a monster & always comes in clutch for her alcohol tolerance. I've played variations of her across a few different one shots & I always manage to roll well for anything alcohol related. The dice do respect a bit 🤣

Spells on the other hand, I floundered with a lot at first because we’re not a combat heavy game, but then I found Chaos Bolt & that was that. It’s essentially Amoré in spell form & I’ve had a ton of fun with it over the years. Also Mage Armor cuz my girl is SO DISTRESSINGLY SQUISHY.

Cantrips were more or less a bit of a toss up. Message was fun for the sheer idea of her using it to talk shit during social events without being caught. But aside from Light serving fun backstory purposes the other 3 are kinda just what looked fun ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ unless you count the idea that she would absolutely delight in zapping handshakes.

From there, I wanted to extend the world map made by our wonderful DM @cappierong into a full scroll. Ya know, for the aesthetic ✨

Our campaign started in Civania, where Amoré's main Estate is. I just wanted a quick mock up to reference, so I edited a preexisting picture I found that checked all the boxes (large, on a plateau, accessible only by bridge) and then absolutely smothered it in flowers.

But anyways... This is primarily where Diana & Amoré grew up together in their decade of backstory ✨

There was probably waaaay to much back & forth trying to keep the continuity between stuff I've already drawn & this big reference. But I think it turned out pretty ok? Not like if I make a mistake anyone will really know lol.

Scaling was also another big issue I had, & I moments where I thought something was too big I just kinda handwaved it away like "ehhhhh she's from a stupid rich family." But now I have a NEED to draw baby Diana & Amoré around like, the statue gardens or something cuz I feel like certain parts of this place are definitely ominous 👀 especially for children...

And lastly we have the back cover & the High Noble political relationship map! I normally have this closer to the front but for layout purposes it'll be here. I kinda feel like I need to do more for the decoration of it but I can’t think of anything else to add at the moment.

Sam if u read that no you didn't.

But now! Other than a family portrait that I've always wanted to draw, I think I'm ready to move onto the art for Season 1 : Arc 2. It's a pretty hefty amount of art in comparison to others, so I gotta get busy. Especially since I think I'm gonna have to draw a few comics *sobs*

If you made it this far, thanks so much for reading! I'm always excited to talk out our little idiots so thanks for indulging me ❀(*´▽`*)❀

[itsstrange]

Teenage Years

Fandom: Marvel

Relationship: High School Tony Stark x Reader

A/N: Something short that I’ve posted on my IG account a few weeks 2 Months ago, enjoy some BBY Stark while I finish the rest of my drafts! 🫶

Summary: Popular Rich Boy Tony Stark. Aka, Your Boyfriend, Aka The One Boy Who Can Make You Bend a Few Laws.

Words: 943

Warnings: (No) Pure Fluff, High School Years, Senior Tony Stark, Senior Reader, Romance, Romantic Tony Stark, Cute, Kisses, Rebel Years, Happy Cute Ending,

————

ENJOY!

————

——————

It was April 15, 1987. A warm, bright, sunny Friday afternoon. Feeling the way the heat began making its way towards New York as its winter began melting away, bringing beautiful colors all around, sunflowers and chirping birds will soon be coming out of its hiding.

A wide smile spreads on your lips at the thought of summer, but also due to the boy who leaned against his Baltic blue 1987 Porsche. Both his hands were in his Jean pockets, as he had one ankle crosses over the other. A smirk shaping his face as he watches you run down the steps of the school with an excited skip.

“You know my father already doesn’t like you,” You start to say as you reach him, arms immediately wrapping around his neck as you continue, “And making me ditch class won’t help the situation,”

It wasn’t a lie, your father indeed did not like him, claimed he wasn’t fit for you, just another arrogant Stark who only thinks about himself and will one day break your heart, or worse leave you pregnant. But you didn’t believe one word because your father simply didn’t know Tony, he didn’t know his story, his struggle at home, his distant relationship with his father. He didn’t know the real Tony Stark, and he never will.

“Well you like me right?” Tony asks, eyebrow raised as his light brown eyes look into your own,

You smile at him, soft chuckle slipping past your lips, “Yes. Yes I do,”

“Then that’s that’s all I need,” He comments with a smirk before closing the gap between you two, feeling the way his lips softly latch onto your own, carefully and gently kissing you,

You melt against him, sighing against the kiss as you let your fingers slip into his hair, massaging his scalp as you slightly deepen the kiss. The moment doesn’t last long since he breaks it first, smiling at you he leads you to the passenger side, opening the door and allowing to slip in the far before closing it behind you and quickly making his way towards the drivers side where he drives out of school grounds. Burning rubber on the way out.

Music played loudly on the speakers as he drove down the streets, fresh wind blowing against your hair and skin, making a large smile spread on your face as you close your eyes, relishing the feeling of the weather since you missed the heat. While one hand was interlocked with Tony’s, your other extends out to your right, past the passengers door as you move your hand up and down in the air. At one point while driving down the road, Tony happened to turn around to glance at you and boy was it a goddamn sight. Your eyes shut, faint smile on your lips, head slightly bobbing to the music as the wind blew against your hair, sending your beautiful (H/C) strands to fly in all kinds of directions. You were an absolute work of art and he couldn’t have been happier to have you in his life.

Smiling at you once more he brings your interlocked hands towards his lips where he places a peck at the back of your hand before continuing in driving down the road.

In less than 30 or so minutes, you arrive at your destination. Parking in an empty lot, straight ahead was the beach where some people walked or relaxed in the sand where others swam in the water. It was barely three in the afternoon but people were already sunbathing and enjoying the beautiful weather. Which you rather be doing than being in a classroom watching movies or taking notes of the film. Since you basically only had two months left of school, most of your teachers spent their class period relaxing and letting the senior students enjoy their time with friends before graduation, knowing it’ll be the last time anyone will be in touch due to everyone parting ways.

The future did scare you—you won’t lie. Scared what will happen in the upcoming years, scared what will happen to you both. Would it last long? Would you two part ways? Maybe and that’s the truth. It hurts, but that’s how life is. You get hurt and you learn from it to get better. But as of now, you’re going to not think of the future and just enjoy right now. Enjoy him.

You two sat on top of the convertible, having ate a hot dog and soda to wash it down and now you both sat there. Talking to one another about anything and everything, neither caring if you both were skipping school. You two remained there, next to each other. Enjoying one another, because you both were making it memorable for as long as possible.

“Should probably take you home,” Tony whispers, large smile on his face as he stares into your (E/C) eyes,

“Yeah, you should,” You respond, sharing the same smile as him,

You both remain staring at each other for another good minute, knowing neither one was ready to say goodbye, not just yet.

“Wanna get some ice cream?” He asks as your hands cup his face,

“Thought you’d never ask,” You tell him with a wide smile before gently latching your lips with his,

The question that hovered in the air was, will you end up being grounded until you graduate for skipping school and for getting home late? Most likely. But not once will you ever regret this day, because these are moments that are worth making and worth remembering. They don’t call them ‘Teenage Years’ for a reason.

——————

-Hope Y’all Enjoyed This Short One!! Been a Minute That I Wrote About Stark!

-Make Sure To Turn On Notifications!! 🔔 For More Updates!!

——————

[sidebaxolotl]

I have a question for you if you wouldn’t mind answering. I’m a lesbian and I’ve been considering turning to religion and being side b, but my main question is why would God want me to suffer this much? Why would He let me date my girlfriend for 3 years, all of which has been blissfully happy and feels totally right and good, if He really wants me to give it all up and break both of our hearts? It doesn’t feel like sin to me. We didn’t even sleep with each other until we’d been together for a year because I found it very hard to get over my shame and they waited for me the entire time. Isn’t there that verse about the fruit something brings? Being a lesbian has brought nothing but joy into my life. In fact, the only suffering it’s caused me is when I used to try to be side b. I don’t see why God would want that for me if He allowed me to be made a lesbian.

And to be honest, it seems like most of the side b people I know struggle a lot with being side b, like it doesn’t come naturally to them. I wonder how you reconcile that difficulty and pain with believing that a good God would want this for you. You could make the argument that Satan wants you to suffer and is causing your temptation, but if that’s the case why doesn’t God just fix it, if He’s all powerful? Maybe He wants me to have free will, but I’ve asked Him countless times to make me straight so it’s not like I want to be gay.

Anyway, sorry for the rant. I just find this sort of thing really hard to wrap my head around, but I want there to be a good answer that I can hold on to.

Hey friend! To be honest I do understand where you're coming from. My relationship with my ex was one of the most wonderful things ive ever felt, and it did feel right and very good, unlike a lot of the sin in my life. Even now I struggle sometimes to reconcile that and I know if things hadn't ended so badly I'd be in your situation right now. I also prayed many times that God would make me straight (and for a while I thought it worked lmao). For a long time after The Breakup I struggled really hard with what to do, i was struggling with lesbian erotica/fandom content, wondering what to do with my faith, wondering if I should force myself to marry a man, crying out to God to curse Him or blame Him for my situation, for taking her away from me, etc. I fell into a very deep depression and was very close to unaliving myself over it (and other things). I had to go on medication for an extended period of time because I did not want to live. It was a really rough time in my life and I'm glad despite all the things that I said and did out of grief that I made it out of that period of my life with my relationship to God in tact. Letting go of sin, particularly sexuality related sin can be really hard because sin doesn't always feel bad. A lot of sin does and has immediate consequences, which makes it particularly easy to avoid/stop doing but a lot of it doesn't. We live in a world where sin has permeated the deepest reaches of our universe and our own bodies. Our own judgement apart from Christ cannot always be trusted:

"The heart is deceitful above all things,     and desperately sick;     who can understand it?" Jeremiah 17:9

So it might not feel bad or wrong(it still doesn't feel that way to me personally), but we know God is objectively good and knows what is best, so if He says its bad, then its bad. There are reasons for this, but that's beyond the scope of this post so maybe another time. What I will also say though, is that the Christian life is hard in general and suffering is guaranteed. The apostles suffered--many of them endured gruesome deaths for the sake of the gospel, and even Jesus, the author and sustainer of our faith was abandoned by his friends and made to unjustly die on a cross with common criminals. If the son of God, the prince of peace, could not escape this fate then neither will we. This particular passage comes to mind:

"But if when you do good and suffer for it you endure, this is a gracious thing in the sight of God. For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps" 1 Peter 2

The thing about Christian suffering is that none of it is meaningless. Because of God's grace and mercy He can use something that was never meant to exist (suffering and pain) and use it to bring us closer to Him and help build us into the people we should be, emulating God's character and love. These are some verses about suffering in regards to faith that I've found particularly helpful or enlightening:

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal" 2 Cor 4:16-18 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything" James 1:2-4

And as Christians we know for sure our suffering is not eternal. When we shed this mortal coil we will never feel the sting of sin ever again. And when the New heavens and the New earth are brought to fruition we will experience life as it always was supposed to be. And even now my life isn't just suffering. I'm doing very well now. I'm no longer depressed, I'm off medication (with doctor approval). I genuinely love my life. I'm super satisfied with being single, i freaking love it honestly lol. And my relationship with God is stronger than its ever been. Being side b isn't always easy but it really is not a death sentence devoid of happiness either!

[pagesfromthevoid]

Then, i just know part 8 is gonna be amazing! Cant wait

Whatever the Poets Say | b.b. | 8

Benedict Bridgerton x fem!reader

Word Count: 2.1k

Warnings: Readers last name is Everly. Mildly suggestive themes

Author’s Note: Sorry for such a long wait! I’ve been caught up with a lot of stuff. Enjoy!

Series Masterlist | Talk to Me!

Dearest readers,

While most of you are still in the country, there is still excitement happening without you all here. The Bridgerton country ball was a smash, though this author is by no means surprised by that. However, it seems that the Viscount is taking his time with courting Miss Edwina Sharma. However, the elder sister —Miss Kate Sharma —seems insistent that her sister does not marry Lord Bridgerton. Whatever could be the reason why?

Speaking of the Bridgerton family —Benedict Bridgerton has not returned from London since he departed with Miss Everly. Of course, with the tragedy of her mother’s passing, Miss Everly does need comfort. But how strange that Mr. Bridgerton stayed behind. Perhaps someone should check on them. They have all the ton to themselves. What scandalous behaviors could they be up to without prying eyes? Perhaps a proposal happened while you were away. 

This author can only hope. 

Yours Truly,

Lady Whistledown

                                            *****

With the majority of the ton being in the country still, and Lord Everly’s habit of disappearing for extended periods of time, Benedict and her found themselves alone together frequently. Perhaps it was inappropriate —but they were already engaged. What harm could come of it? That’s what she kept telling herself, at least. 

More often than not since his proposal, they found themselves outside in the gardens of her home. They were remarkably well behaved for two people left alone far more often than appropriate. Though she was certain if it weren’t for the anxiety of someone always being around the corner, they would not be so good. 

She was tempted every moment to throw her book aside and kiss him. Benedict found himself constantly sketching her, and she often found herself writing about him. She found him staring at her more and more as he worked, and it made her heart flutter. It only made her want to kiss him more; but she needed to be patient. 

Little did she know that Benedict was overwhelmed by the same desire. Though he felt a little more carnal; he knew what to expect. What to do. And every night, he fell asleep dreaming of every inch of her skin being touched by his lips. Showing her that her books certainly did no justice to how good she could feel.

Today was no different; they lounged on a blanket in the gardens enjoying the sunlight and each other’s company. She was scribbling in her notebook, crossing words out occasionally, then restarting. Benedict was watching her, having lost interest in his sketch when he noticed how intensely she was focused on her work. It was a sight to behold, seeing how lost in her own world she became as she wrote. Benedict admired her for it; and he found her concentration made her even more beautiful. 

“I can feel you staring at me,” she murmured, glancing up from her writing. She had a sly grin on her face. 

Benedict didn’t look away, instead feeling bold enough to lay down on his side beside her. She raised a brow, feeling her cheeks heat up as he positioned himself to rest his head in her lap. Her journal was abandoned to the side as she stared down at him, unable to help but admire how lovely he was in the sun. 

“You’re going to get us in trouble,” she pointed out, though she ran her hand through his hair gently. 

“More trouble than being left unchaperoned for the last week?” He countered, closing his eyes as she played with his hair. “Besides, we are already engaged —what will they do? Make us marry sooner? Oh, the tragedy.”

She hummed in response, laughing softly as she considered his response. He wasn’t wrong, necessarily. They were engaged; the worst to happen was the possible scandal of being alone. And even then, they would be more than happy to marry tomorrow if that was what was decided. She had almost suggested going to Scotland, truthfully, to simply elope but deep down, she knew her mother wouldn’t want that. Her father would support it but she wanted to do right by her mother. 

Well, as right as she could be when a handsome man was laying in her lap. 

“We have to have some semblance of control, Mr. Bridgerton,” she playfully scolded, though her hand had trailed down to his cheek to caress it gently. 

“I think we have been very controlled, Miss Everly,” he countered once more, closing his eyes at her touch. 

This was the most they had touched since the carriage ride from the country; more than simply holding hands. Now they were playing with fire. But the flame simply felt too good to extinguish. 

“Read me what you have been writing,” he insisted, opening his eyes to look up at her. 

Her cheeks flushed at his request, realizing that what she had written today was a bit more scandalous than what she usually read him. But then, he was laying in her lap, looking up at her with his lovely brown eyes and that crooked grin that made her heart pound in her ears. Everything about him was tempting, and it was all she had been writing about as of late. 

And so she lifted her book from the blanket, leafing through it until she found the page she had left off on. Then she read quietly, voice soft as she spoke of temptation. Benedict’s attention was fixated on her as she read, speaking of things that no proper lady would say to anyone else. But she was with him, and she was tempted just as much as he was. 

But then she hesitated; stumbled at the final line. And his brow furrowed as she took a breath and finally read quietly, “But who says I must wait until my wedding night?”

Their eyes met, and for a long moment they simply stared into each other’s eyes. Her breath was stuck in her chest, unable to let it out as Benedict slowly sat up. Her book was abandoned once again as he inched closer to her, resting his hands on either side of her lap. It was like that moment in the library –that night he confessed his love to her. The burning in her skin as he inched closer to her was spreading all over as she finally closed the space between their lips.

Stories and books did no justice to how wonderful it felt to kiss Benedict. How soft, how careful he was as he pushed her back against the blanket. The way he rested beside her, one hand on her hip as the other held her chin as he deepened the kiss. She was too nervous, though, and she didn’t know what to do with her hands. They simply rested on his shoulders as he did the work. His hand on her hip drifted down over her thigh, lifting it carefully as his fingers pushed the length of her skirt up. 

The touch of his hand against her bare skin caused her to gasp, and Benedict took advantage of the opening to slip his tongue into her mouth. It was as if instinct took over then as she followed his lead as their tongues met in a tangle of warmth and desperation. His hand slid up further and further, pushing aside her petticoats and her chemise until he stopped just barely between her legs. Everything felt hot, and her breathing was labored as he pulled back. 

Benedict rested his forehead against hers, closing his eyes for a moment. Their noses brushed against one another as she whined softly, missing the feel of his mouth against hers. But he kissed her again, softly and quickly, before he pulled his hand from under her skirts. The skin where he touched burned, but it was slowly turning cold without him there. 

“As badly as I want you,” he whispered, his breath passing over her lips, “You deserve more than to be taken outside.”

Her chest heaved as she tried to control her breathing, finally opening her eyes to gaze up at him. Her mind felt dizzy, overwhelmed with excitement and lust. Her hand finally reached up, cupping his cheek gently, as she pressed another chaste kiss to his lips. 

“You are far too much of a gentleman sometimes, Benedict,” she teased, and he chuckled as he pulled back. 

He rolled over to lay on his back, hands resting on his chest as he closed his eyes. “You make it sound like I shouldn’t be a gentleman.”

She simply hummed in response, laying on her back next to him. Benedict reached over and took her hand, resting it against his chest. A smile spread over her face as she closed her eyes, basking in the warmth of both the sun and Benedict’s touch. His heart was pounding in his chest, and she could feel it against their hands.

Waiting until their wedding was only going to get harder. 

                                          *****

“Did you two have a good day in the gardens today?” Annalise asked as she brushed out her lady’s hair that night. 

Benedict had stayed for dinner but retreated back to his family home. His family would be returning soon and he needed to be prepared for that. She had watched him leave from the doorway, waiting until she could not see him any longer before she returned inside. Lord Everly had been in the hall, watching with a smile. 

“We did, yes,” she replied simply, closing her eyes as she thought back to their afternoon. 

“I can tell by the leaves in your hair.”

Her eyes snapped open and she turned, looking up at Annalise in horror. Her maid held a small pile of leaves and grass in her hand, having been collecting them as she brushed and braided her hair. Annalise had a knowing grin on her face as Miss Everly covered her face in embarrassment. 

“Oh my god,” she cackled into her hands. “We had dinner with my father and I had grass in my hair! Why did you not tell me?”

“I stood behind you the entire time,” Annalise offered as consolation, laughing herself now. “I assure you, my lady, no one but me noticed.”

She breathed a sigh of relief, dropping her hands as Annalise put the leaves and grass on her vanity. “What would I do without you?”

Annalise hummed, finishing off the braid. “Oh dear, probably be caught alone with Mr. Bridgerton.”

“Anna!”

“You would be! Lord Everly and I have been very good at keeping people from catching you two.”

“You are both deplorable,” she laughed, shaking her head as she stood. “I should have known better —my father even described himself as a rake.”

“A very good natured rake,” Annalise offered, taking her robe and laying on the back of her chair. “But a rake nonetheless.”

                                         *****

Temptation has always been man’s greatest enemy. And as it turns out, it is women's greatest enemy as well.

There is little in this world that I long for more than the longing I feel for his touch. Even in our most private moments, the simplest of touches draws me in and holds me captive. How can one man be so enticing? Even in my darkest times, he is all I think about. He is all I want. 

Society dictates that we cannot be alone together, but what does society know of love? Of longing? There is no doubt in my mind that others have felt as I do —authors weave stories of it, poets cry it to the heavens, and artists show it to the world on canvas. But polite society does not understand the truest desires deep within the soul for the touch of the man you love. 

Polite society suggests that young women do not know what goes on between a man and a woman when left alone after their wedding. I must admit I know little outside the pages of books and what they have told me. But I am an avid student —and he will be my teacher. 

But who says I must wait until my wedding night? 

Whatever the Poets Say, by An Anonymous Young Woman

[walder-138]

Hey dear! Just wanted to pop by and say thank you for your interest in Jodie :’) your asks are appreciated!

I wanted to extend my own curiosity over to your own :0c

So, couple questions:

1. What is her life like in the aftermath of the campaign?

2. What are her feelings, in any, towards Perseus and its operators? I wondered if she had any close friendships, anyone she would have relied on more than others. Like, did she have good connections with the faction or was she more of a lone wolf?

Hey pookie! I love answering questions about my skrunkly, so tysm for the ask! I’m sorry for the long wait I’ve been busy with finals, but I finished them yesterday!

1. (a) In the true ending, assuming she lived, Annika would be BEYOND pissed. The one time in her life where she did the right thing was repaid by a gunshot to to stomach. She’d have no one, and be an official enemy of the state to both the USSR and NATO. Perseus wouldn’t take her back (and probably would want her dead) and everyone assumes she’s dead.

Instead of doing what the old her would do (show up to Adler’s house with 30 pounds of C4 strapped to her chest), Annika would reflect on herself. She’d try to jog her memory from before she became Bell, while also trying to get out of Russia and move on.

I imagine Annika leaving to Vietnam and starting a new life there. She’d be paranoid pretty much 24/7 and have a lot of traps around her house. Either she’d be a mercenary, take a long walk off a short pier, or become an English teacher.

(I didn’t actually really think about that 💀)

1. (b) If Annika lied to Adler, she’d honestly be even worse. There would be a honeymoon period (if that makes sense) where the members of Perseus would ‘congratulate’ her for coming to her senses. She’d become almost manic, thinking that she’s finally free from being controlled, when in reality she was just another pawn on the chessboard. When Annika’s episode ended, every finally clicked for her. She caused the death of millions of people, for what? Cause she was being petty? For the first time in her life, she’d have clarity. I’d imagine she would off Perseus, he’d say some bullshit, then she herself would take a long walk off a short pier.

Either way, she’d hate herself

2. Annika saw Perseus himself as a bastardized father figure, if that makes sense. She joined Perseus relatively early in her life, when she was 17. She was naive, and followed everyone’s orders as she didn’t know any better.

However, when Annika grew older. she’d realize that most of her superiors couldn’t care less if she lived or died. When that registered, she saw the other operators as coworkers rather than family, unlike how she used to.

Sorry for the short response! I suck at expressing my ideas 😭

[joshslater]

4k

A little over one year since the 3k mark and I’m well over 4k followers, despite being quite infrequent with updates for lots of reasons. It’s always uplifting to see comments, reblogs, and likes (in that order). I try to filter what I post here a bit, and only dump everything in my Patreon, but I think there are some 80+ different stories there that haven’t been posted here so I might have to go over them and post a few more.

Armani A classic monkey paw story, but this time dressed in Armani.

Back to Programming A short caption about the post-revolution mind control. Bleecker House This is my take on a well done nerd-to-jock story where I felt the rationale was decent.

Blue A scallification story with an easy to see twist. Based on another story with a more limited scope, but I immediately thought about this story instead.

Boxing Day I really just wanted to explore putting someone in boxing gloves for an extended period of time...

Builder Bob I wanted to write something proper involving boots with just a subtle amount of transformation.

Collection Fee Body swaps and man boobs. I had to make a really weird body swap mechanic for this one to work, if indeed it does work.

The Deserter Military body swap. I can of ignore all the practical future issues save for hinting at them.

Dionysus A more fanciful tale of rapid transformations.

Do-over There are quite a few sibling body swap stories, but I think the real gold mine for plausible body swaps are within the foster care.

Eastern Tennessee A story of self transformation. I like this ones, but it’s too far between good ideas for them.

Fae Security A little supernatural misunderstanding based on a photo I saw.

Golden Years Spirit based body transformation, but this time from the supernatural point of view.

Grunts N’ Poses More magical/spiritual muscle gain. Completely lacking of depth, but I like to write them and some people like to read them.

The House at the Edge of Town One of the 2021 Halloween trio of stories. This one solidly in Halloween theme. I had thought about the story element of detachable dicks and witches before, but finally worked out all the mechanics in a somewhat coherent way.

Introduction This is just a setup hinting about what is to happen (which to be honest is just the nerd-to-jock trope).

Jägermeister One of the rare female-to-male transformations. Bitchy revenge is always a good plot for those.

Jockboy Based on a short caption on the theme of disappointed father wanting a more masculine son. I wanted to expand the story out a bit.

The Lost Year of Gain I’ve written about hypnotic mental split before, but this time with a bit more of a positive spin.

The Mixologist Another story based on someone else’s idea. Lots of them this year apparently. This one is about a bartender that spikes some of his guests where he feels a change is needed.

Mr. Wolf A collaboration around an idea I had about the transformative qualities of werewolf cum. This allowed me to combine muscle growth and knotting.

Putting Reek in Greek pt 2. I had though a lot of the guy in the Putting Reek in Greek story and decided to collection my thoughts into some sort of conclusion, or at least continuation.

Reassignment Another story on the theme of office worker demoted to the factory floor. This one with magic affecting more than the main character for a change.

Singed House The second of the Halloween trio. It was supposed to be more Halloween themed, but it didn’t really fit so instead I ended up with this bad boy spirit transformation. 

Solitary The third of the Halloween trio. This was more of an evil ghost story. Evil ghosts.

Spit Takes A few captions of the same photo.

Woodward Rugby This was my contribution to a secret santa for authors. My anonymous tags were “cum inflation” and “male pregnancy”, both previously unexplored by me.

[umichenginabroad]

Madrid Week 6: The Honeymoon Phase

Hola a todxs ‼️‼️ Niko here again, and welcome back to week 6’s blog of my study abroad experience in Madrid. This post is a little more text/personal reflection heavy. We'll get to some more fun stuff next week :).

This past week was filled mainly with schoolwork and cooking — not too much exploration of the city — and I stuck mainly to my established routes between home and university. However, looking forward, I think that this routine will be significant in my international experience, too.

For the first few weeks living here, I got out as much as possible and tried my best to take advantage of everything Madrid had to offer. Trying all the cute cafes, seeing all the tourist attractions, exploring new neighborhoods, going out to all the clubs. But now that I’ve been here for a month and a half, it feels a bit like I’m actually ‘living’ here, and less like some kind of extended vacation. 

I actually have schoolwork to do now — projects, papers, presentations — and that leaves me much less time to simply exist. I think I can take that as both a blessing and a curse. For one, it’s a curse, because in reality, I would love to just skip around Madrid all week without any responsibilities, who wouldn’t? 

But now, I think I’m living more like how a student would who’s here year round. Let’s be honest — are Michigan students constantly going around Ann Arbor, discovering all the little nooks and crannies, experiencing all the most hyped up spots and exploring all the paths less traveled? Not really. Maybe I’ll hit the Kerrytown farmers market or the Blind Pig on a weekend, but honestly that’s few and far in between. Majority of my weekends at Michigan are spent around campus and at home.

I don’t want to say we’ve “become complacent” with Ann Arbor, because that inherently has a negative connotation. But we’ve certainly gotten used to living in this city, and simultaneously have tons of other things on our plate that we’ve got to attend to. Things aren’t as shiny and exciting as they were the first month of freshman year, and we simply have less time. It feels like something similar is happening here in Spain, for both reasons (although maybe to a lesser extent — I still have more free time than I do in Michigan, and Madrid is still, well, Madrid, Spain. Not quite like Ann Arbor, Michigan, USA). 

Now, my perspective of Madrid has shifted slightly, and with it my experience. Maybe one could say my “honeymoon phase” is over, but to be honest, I haven’t really started to find a lot of things I really dislike about the city. Things are just a little more like real life, which I think I'll end up being happy for.

As some of you may know, I studied abroad over the summer after my freshman year in Buenos Aires. That program lasted 6 weeks, and I stayed an extra with my parents after the program ended. School wasn’t as demanding, and I had ample free time all week. Those six weeks were incredible. It was my first time living outside of the United States for an extended period of time, my first time ever living in a big city, my first time immersed in another language and culture completely different from my own. 

Upon reflection, I think my ‘honeymoon phase’ lasted all 7 weeks of my experience in Buenos Aires. And now, I’m reaching week 7 here in Madrid. I’ll be here for a total of 15.

My experiences in Buenos Aires and Madrid have been similar in a lot of ways. The architecture of the cities, the language, the general warmth of the people and culture. Simultaneously, they’ve been different in more ways than I can count, and I think a big one I'm slowly transitioning into will be due to the amount of time that I have here.

Now, I’m left with an awareness of the challenge that comes with living in a foreign city, in a culture completely different from my own. In a class that I’m currently taking, 'Social groups and their cultural imaginaries', we had a lesson on Italo Calvino’s Invisible Cities. One of the main themes of the book: Our interpretation of a city or landscape is based on how we are feeling, or what we want at that particular moment.

How will my experience of this city change with my perception and feelings towards it? What will I desire then, and what do I desire now? How will I interact with Madrid in week 15? How will that be different from week 1?

How will I continue to adapt to Spanish culture? What pieces of US culture will I still be holding on to, and what pieces of my identity will change?

Will I continue to find excitement and novelty in this place in week 15, or will I have to make an active effort to do so? Will living in Madrid at week 15 feel like living in Ann Arbor, or Arlington VA? Or are the places and cultures so different that the experience will never be comparable?

Will this lifestyle be something that I want to continue, or will I find that I’m most comfortable in the culture and community I grew up with?

I’ve asked a lot of questions here, most of which I have no semblance of an answer to. Some of them are small, some of them are pretty big. I’ll plan on coming back to this blog, maybe in week 15, maybe in a post-reflection — and I’ll try to answer as many of them as I can. Just writing them here increases my awareness, which enables more active reflection and growth in my day-to-day life.

One action item I’ve realized after writing this blog: I need to start taking a more active effort during the week to continue appreciating Madrid for all it has to offer me. At first, it came really naturally, but now, it’s harder. Moreover, as I’ll be traveling around Europe for the next few weekends, I’ll have less chances to experience Madrid without the pressure of everyday life squeezing around me.

Taking an active effort means giving myself more opportunities to be mindful, present, and appreciative of the environment I’m in. That includes waking up earlier and trying to establish more of a schedule with schoolwork, which will give me time to do things like going out on walks to take photos in the morning, or finding a new bar to enjoy a drink at during the evenings. Also, I hope to start meditating again — which has been something that has served as a point of stability for me throughout college.

Transition periods are never easy, and I've found myself in one yet again. The best advice I can give myself for now is to remain appreciative and accepting of all of the everything lives throws me, knowing that each one is an opportunity for growth — and I'll come out the other side more experienced, wise, and grateful that it happened.

In other news, this week I saw Dune 2 (highly recommend, ESPECIALLY in IMAX), kept cooking, and did a good amount of studying. Also, this past weekend I went to Italy (for the first time ever) and spent the weekend with an old friend. I’m headed to Sevilla this weekend, and I’ll detailing both a little more in next week's blog. Wishing everyone a happy hump day and a strong finish to the week.

Hasta pronto,

Niko Economos

Aerospace Engineering

Universidad Carlos III de Madrid

Madrid, Spain

[whentherewerebicycles]

spent 3+ hours on the phone with liz walking the dogs in the rain and doing chores and making dinner so I’m cured of sadness basically. kind of a hard day but mostly just in the ways I anticipated it would be. job is official official and I’m very happy about it. I’ve decided not to psych myself out about the fact that it’s a big career jump and instead dive into the work with the assumption that 1) I can learn how to do it with practice, 2) not having done this work at this level before means I’ll have to really listen to/observe/build relationships with people around me so I can learn from their expertise (which just seems like a good philosophy in general), and 3) I don’t have to stress about molding myself to some norm I made up in my head! I can decide what kind of professional I want to be and can just go about being that kind of professional. and if it takes a while to figure things out that’s normal—it took me a full two years before I really felt confident and competent in my last university job, so I should expect a similar adjustment period here.

I also just spent an hour paging through the two new cookbooks I ordered and looking at this other one my friend recommended online. this has given me lots of recipe ideas obviously but it’s also making me think about what the next stage in Learning How to Cook is going to look like. I feel like 4-5 months of focused practice has helped me achieved my initial goals of wanting to feel more confident in my ability to make new recipes, to produce consistent results when re-making old recipes, and to be able watch/taste food while cooking and make adjustments (to salt, fat, acid, and heat) as needed to improve the outcome. I’ve also tried a lot of new foods, taught myself to like new things by preparing them in different ways, and amassed a bunch of easy, low-fuss vegetarian/vegan meals that produce great leftovers.

I’d definitely like to continue expanding my repertoire of meals, but I’ve also been thinking that I want to develop a better understanding of how to construct really good meals. to me this means learning…

how to choose dishes that go well together,

how to prep simple starters and sides (both for planned meals & for when you’re just throwing things together based on what’s in the fridge)—idk I am such a one-dish-meal kind of person but I’d love to try a bunch of things and have more ideas to draw on!

how to make little tweaks to existing recipes that will amp up the wow factor of the dish… i feel like I have friends who are good at things like swapping out a run-of-the-mill dressing on a salad with something more intriguing, or preparing sides in ways that make the food feel a lot fancier without making the actual prep part more difficult. I always admire it when people can think of quick little upgrades to a simple meal and I wanna be able to do that someday too.

I think that’s going to be my next area of focus! I know that going back to work in person means I won’t have as much time/energy for extended all-afternoon cooking sessions but I know myself lol if I can make this next phase into a structured ~learning experience~ it will seriously boost my motivation to actually follow through. so I gotta think a bit about what I want this to look like and how I’m going to identify the skills involved & create opportunities for myself to practice them. gonna make myself a curriculum babyyy that’s what life is all about

[randomgurustuffs]

1. Are you young at heart, or an old soul?

I've been told I'm both an old soul and also that I really don't act my age.  I tell people it and they're always shocked.

2. What makes someone a best friend?

This is actually a hard one.  I'd say it's the person you most want to hang around all the time, that you're always excited to see.  

3. What Christmas (or Hanukkah) present do you remember the most?

Technically my drawing tablet was a Christmas present. Sure I picked it out and everything, but I've gotten a lot of miles out of it.  I do really remember the hotwheels firestation I got once, though.  And the pajamas, but those were every year, so do they count?

4. Tell me about a movie/song/tv show/play/book that has changed your life.

The Bible.  I'm a Christian and I read it daily.  Need I say more?

5. Name one physical feature that you like about yourself, and one you dislike.

I quite like my bushy eyebrows.  Not the biggest fan of the little wart thing on my left hand.

6. Would you like to reconnect with any friends you’ve lost contact with?

I certainly wouldn't mind.  I enjoy catching up with folks.

7. What’s more important in a relationship: physical attraction or emotional connection?

Emotional connection.  Physical attraction is the cherry on top and certainly helps, though!

8. Name a movie that you knew would be terrible just from reading the title.

[Insert any horror movie sequel here]

9. What holiday do you most look forward to?

At present, Christmas.  I get to be together with my family for an extended period, especially specific family.

10. How is the relationship between you and your parents?

It's very good.  We think in very similar ways and have similar humor.

11. You’ve got the TV on, but you’re not really watching. What channel is the TV on?

I don't watch all that much TV these days, so this is actually hard.  Hallmark?

12. Name a song that never fails to make you happy.

"So Do I"  Kenny Ball...but there are SO MANY OTHERS

13. You know at least one person named Michael. Tell me about him.

He's cool.  Likes board games.

14. Have you ever read the “missed connections” on Craigslist? Have you ever posted one, or wanted to?

Nope. Nope. And Nope.

15. If you could pick anywhere to live the rest of your life, where would it be?

Not Utah.

16. Can money buy happiness?

Nope.

17. Do you drink? Smoke? Do drugs? Why, or why not?

Nope to all 3.  Expensive habits that are bad for you in varying degrees, plus I HATE the feeling of being buzzed-I don't like brain fog at all.  

18. Is there anyone close to you that you know you can’t trust? You don’t have to give names.

Do you mean geographically close?  I don't tend to let people emotionally close if I don't trust them.

19. Where was your favorite place to go when you were a little kid?

Grandma and Grandpa's farm-especially if kittens were present.

20. Have you ever spent a night in the hospital?

I don't believe I have-maybe when I was born?

21. Do you enjoy being with only one or two friends, or with a large group of people?

Smaller groups are more fun.

22. Do you like the type of music your parents listen to? Do your parents like the type of music you listen to?

Yes to both for the most part.

23. Have you ever been bullied? Have you ever bullied anyone else?

In early grade school, yes.  I don't believe so on bullying others.

24. If you could only eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?

There are a few types of food that have near infinite variability-sandwiches and soups/stews come to mind.

25. If your partner wanted to wait until marriage before having sex, would you stay in that relationship?

Yes-plus we both do.  *points at being a Christian*

26. Do you believe in a god?

*points at being a Christian*

27. Of all the social networks in the world, why use Tumblr?

Because this is where the cool people are that enjoy my art for some reason.

28. What’s your favorite Tumblr tag to track?

I don't track tags.

29. Would you call yourself/your family “middle class?”

Yes.

30. Name a TV series you didn’t enjoy until after it ended.

Legend of the Galactic Heroes plus most other shows I've watched.

31. Have you ever bought a product from an infomercial?

Once-but that was because it was the only thing that actually met a need I had

32. If you could give up your car and never have to drive again, would you?

Only if there was a good public transit system and high quality passenger rail network-so never in the US.

33. If you go back to one point in time to give advice to yourself, when would you go and what would you say?

Stay the course but don't be as lazy.

34. What’s your “quirkiest” habit?

Not wearing a coat most of the time, I suppose.

35. What is “normal?” Are you normal?

Normal is relative.  Depends on the overall composition of a given group.

36. Someone close to you is dying. You have the choice to let this person live for 10 more years, but if you do, you cause the death of 10 strangers. You don’t have to see them die. Do you take the offer?

Nope.

37. What is one thing you could never forgive?

I am unsure. I'd like to say there aren't things I couldn't, but there is a difference between forgiving someone for something and not being cautious around them.  Forgive is one thing, but forget is another, much harder one.  Example: someone steals money.  I can forgive them for it, but I'm not going to as readily trust them with money until I see signs they actually won't necessarily do it again.

38. Would you rather be in a relationship after the honeymoon period ends, or be single?

I'm going to stick around.

39. Is it possible for guys and girls to be just friends? Absolutely.  Why wouldn’t it be?

40. Where do you and your friends go to hang out?

Wherever is convenient for all of us-a park or event.

41. Write the first paragraph of your obituary.

[paragraph redacted due to personal information]

42. What is the best TV theme song ever.

There are so many, how can I chose?  I suppose one of the catchiest would be the old 50's Mickey Mouse Club theme.  

43. When you were young, what would you dream you would be when you grew up?

I wanted to be a fighter pilot for a while.

44. When you’re alone in your own home, do you walk around naked?

Generally no.

45. What gets you out of bed in the morning?

My alarm clock-plus I have things that need doin'.

46. Do you want to have more friends than you have right now?

Certainly.

47. What part of the past year sticks out in your mind?

March 21st on.

48. You win a scratch-off lottery game that gives you $2000 a week (after taxes) for the rest of your life. Do you keep your job?

Yup.  I go stir crazy if I don't have things to do-plus I have a number of clients that respect me.

49. Could you be in a long-distance relationship? If you’re in one, what makes yours work?

Yes, in one.  Mutual trust and lots of communication.  Won't be long distance for too much longer, relatively speaking.

50. What’s the best route to your heart?

My arteries.

51. Have you ever met someone through the internet, then met them in real life?

Many times.

52. What is your favorite sport?

I quite like football/soccer.  Used to play in highschool.

53. What has been troubling you lately?

Things I need to get done...like this list!

54. Did you enjoy your high school prom? If you haven’t gotten there yet, do you look forward to it? If you didn’t go, why not?

Didn't have one.  We just had a formal dinner, which is better because good food.

55. What do you use more often: your intuition or logical reasoning?

I'd like to say Logical Reasoning.  I dressed up a Spock at one point as a kid.

56. Do you know what makes you happy?

Yes.  Someone else knows too why I grin so much these days.

57. Tell me about the last book you read.

If we're talking completed, it was the Bible-but excluding the Bible a book about it.

58. What is the nicest compliment you’ve ever been given?

Someone told me recently they felt I'd be a good spiritual leader for a family.

59. Who was your first crush?

There was this gal in grade and highschool.  I'm glad I didn't end up with her in hindsight.

60. Do you believe that there is life on other planets?

I suppose it's possible-there definitely will be once we put someone on Mars.

61. Predict what your life will look like a year from now.

I predict I'll be happily married.

62. Often, people will ask how your last relationship ended. I want to know how it began.

There wasn't a last one, so ha!

63. Where is your favorite place to go out and eat?

Burgerville.

64. What is something you want to change about your current situation?

I'd like to be closer geographically to a certain someone.

65. Early bird or night owl?

A bit of an early bird, really.

66. Are there any childhood possessions you still hold on to?

A good number of them.  I'm fairly sentimental.

67. Give me an unpopular opinion you have.

Drivers licenses should require retaking the test every renewal.

68. What was the last song that was stuck in your head?

The Mickey Mouse Club theme because I just looked it up.

69. Where do you live? Be as general or specific as you want.

In a desert near a large body of salt water and locals that are bad drivers.

70. Do you believe in giving kids medals and trophies for participation?

Depends on the context.  Something to say they were a part of something is fine-but it's easy to go overboard.

71. What was the longest car ride you’ve ever taken?

I think the leg of the roadtrip in highschoool between Vicksburg and Charleston.  But that's riding, not driving.

72. Have you ever taken part in a protest?

I haven't, no.

73. Would you ever use an online dating service?

Nope.  

74. What is your ethnic heritage?

A mess of Northern Europe.

75. Describe a person that inspires you.

My late grandfather.  I want to be more like him.

76. If you earn minimum wage doing what you love, would you?

If it meets my financial needs yes-if otherwise, no.

77. Do you believe in luck?

Nope.  Only the Lord's Providence.

78. Describe the last time you were very angry at someone.

Someone I know's 'family' decided to try and throw them out on the street for physical gain.  

79. Do you want to live until you’re 100?

If I'm still me and haven't lost my marbles.

80. Do people change? If so, how do you keep a relationship together when both of you start to change?

People can change, but a big part of being in a relationship is putting in effort to communicate and understand.  It should also have a center-it's not just about what makes you happy.  Too many relationships these days are 100% selfishness.

81. Have you ever risked a friendship by telling someone you liked them?

I haven't, no.  I was blessed enough to have it happen to me though in a way that didn't ruin anything (it was a mutual attraction).

82. Would you rather be alone doing something you enjoy, or doing something you don’t like with your best friends?

I think the fellowship with my best friend outweighs the non-enjoyment of an activity.  That in itself can be enjoyable.

83. Do you practice what you preach?

I do my best to.

84. If you take precautions to stay safe, do you ultimately act more recklessly?

If the precautions are there, how would it be reckless?

85. What do you value more in a significant other: Attractiveness or intelligence?

Given I find intellegence attractive on top of physical attributes...but really I find my significant other being who they are to be the most valuable (even though she is both very attractive AND intelligent).

86. Are you hard-headed?

Very.  It's a family tradition.

87. Have you ever laughed uncontrollably when it was socially inappropriate?

Possibly.

88. When have you felt most alive?

After I was confessed to-it was incredibly relieving and wonderful.

89. Would you prefer to live? A city? The suburbs? The countryside? The mountains?

Edge of a small town in the mountains by the sea.

90. Do you often skip breakfast?

Nope.  I require fuel.

91. How do you know what true love is?

I think it's when two people have set their hearts and life goals on a relationship which is more than just shallow-when they've decided to stay the course through thick and thin for the other person as much or more than for themselves.

92. Would you want to know the exact date and time you were going to die?

Might make planning easier.

93. Where is “home” for you?

Home is where I feel comfortable and with the people I care about.

94. What song best describes your life right now?

Possibly Country Bumpkin by Cal Smith.

95. Do you want to be perfect?

As Christ is perfect, yes.  It is, after all, the end goal.

96. What have you never tried, but would really like to someday? What’s holding you back?

Learning piano.  Time.

97. How do you express your creativity?

Art, singing.

98. Describe your neighborhood.

A complex with nice trees.

99. Name something you only liked because it was popular.

Y'know I don't remember-I've always been contrary.

100. Give me the story of your life in six words.

A long learning process paying off.

[despairing-disaster]

5, 16, 18, 22, 23, and 25 for Arei Nageishi?

5. My favorite ship of them

This one's kind of a tough one because I don't really know how I'd classify my "favorite" ship with her. I know Arei x J is quite popular but I'm somewhat ambivalent on it even if I tend to lean towards liking it. And I like Arei x Whit as well, but I don't feel that strongly about it (plus there's only like, 1 person making content for that ship). It'd probably have to be between those two though.

16. A childhood headcanon

I feel like before she got into high school, she wasn't all that popular. Maybe she hadn't refined her... methods for talking to people yet or maybe she just got somewhat overlooked. Honestly, I kind of imagine middle school Arei as being someone who is just kind of pitiable.

18. How do you think they were as a kid? (Like, were they shy, noisy, wild, etc)

I honestly think she wasn’t too dissimilar to how she is now. Maybe a bit less gaslight-y and just kind of a pushy, obnoxious extrovert type. Like the kind of kid who would continue to pester someone for an extended period of time even if they clearly didn’t have much of an interest in her. She acts spoiled now, but after her FTE with J, a part of me has to wonder if she was just constantly pushed to the side when she was younger and that’s she tries so hard to wrap people around her finger and keep them there.

22. When do you think they were at their lowest?

Emotionally? Right after the trial. I think that might have been the one time she actually seemed legit shaken up. She honestly didn’t even look that phased after the first murder. In terms of behavior? When she was confronting the kitchen group in ch1 ep3. I think that did a really good job at highlighting her relentlessness.

23. Future headcanon

Honestly, I think a chapter 4 death would be interesting for her. I think with the hidden quotes, a part of me is holding out to see if she ends up doing something selfless or sacrificial and stereotypically, chapter 4 is the chapter in which people tend to do that. Otherwise, I could actually see her surviving to the end and probably growing a lot as a character. Ik I’ve been pretty harsh on her thus far (and I probably will continue to be) but I think she has a lot of potential in terms of learning to understand the give-and-take aspect of relationships. 

25. When do you think they acted the most ooc

God, this is such a curveball question for her specifically. Because I feel like a massive part of her character is being inauthentic. I even think her ruse of shitting on people is just that: a ruse. To me, she just does it because she genuinely sees basic social interaction as a hierarchy and she just can’t stand to not be at the top. I think the times she’s the most out of character are, ironically, the times when she’s being the most authentic and vulnerable. Particularly, after Min’s execution when she’s showing genuine fear. Still, I’d barely call that ooc so much as I’d call it and appropriate response from a character who beforehand had been entirely comprised of anything but. 

[raayllum]

Also, as a general rule, I try not to get too personal, but I was thinking of sharing this yesterday and then with the news today:

I’ve had a kinda weird week. Both very stressful and not, exciting but time consuming around recent life developments, etc. Yesterday I got stuck on the bus in traffic, it was hot and crowded as hell, and what should’ve been a 6 minute bus ride turned into close to 50 minutes. I was late to work.

To make a long story short: I let go of my stress as much as I could, both from fear of being late and from stuff prior in the week, because all of it was equally out of my control and I just had to ride it out. I had good music to guide the way too.

But I also felt for the people around me. We were all hot, uncomfortable, and pretty frustrated with just how slow going the traffic was. There was a mother and her adult son, who seemed to be autistic since he stimmed a bit and wore headphones, and while my autism manifests differently, I can only imagine the hell that bus would’ve been if your sensory stuff was higher than mine. A lot of people were standing because the bus was crowded, too. 

But the reason I’m sharing this story is because it was a worthwhile to myself in mitigating and reducing misery. The bus ride helped re-contextualize the stress I was holding and develop new appreciation for the blessings, ultimately, that had put me in that period of stress (aka when you’re doing something good & exciting but it’s a Big life change all the same). It gave me an opportunity to mitigate other people’s unhappiness.

I complimented a person on their tattoo because it was nicer to look at than the scenery. The made the mother and son start talking a bit more as the mother had a tattoo herself. I asked about his shirt because it seemed like a special interest, although he didn’t go for it. A few other passengers laughed in response or joined in. We were able to acknowledge each other’s misery but also lessen it a little, too — extend sympathy to the bus driver for the mess they had to drive though.

People in seats still got up and shuffled around a bit to make sure an old lady could sit down when she came on. 

I ended up getting off the bus halfway hoping it’d be quicker if I walked, only to see the bus reach my stop about a minute ahead of me with myself significantly out of breath and later for work than I’d ever been (I work as a tutor at the moment). 

At work, my kids were still there and happy to see me. One of my coworkers had given them something to do and then offered / got me a bottle of water from the front. My boss was 100% understanding and sympathetic and my kids were incredibly sweet, saying at the end of the session (which we were able to go late on, too, to make up for the time we’d lost!) they wished I could teach them English and stuff at school because I’m engaging and make things interesting. It was so sweet I almost teared up at my table.

The bus on the way home was over half an hour late and almost full. Luckily, all of us at the bus stop were able to get on. It was much cooler than the first time around and a lot faster, even my patience was more frayed. I got home and had to have some conversations I didn’t particularly want to, but was calm and friendly with my loved ones. I said fuck it to dinner and ate ice cream (and then had actual dinner hours later). 

Which is to say: your own emotional fortitude matters, and you can help restore it both by acknowledging the weight on your shoulders but also how to let it down. And most of all, if you feel helpless, or resigned, if you look at a situation (or situations) as opportunities to help other people — even or especially in small ways — and you do it, if you look for the little acts of kindness other people give, you will walk out feeling better about yourself and whatever situation you’re in.

The world often doesn’t put its best foot forward, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t

[xinallia-the-galactic-unicorn]

ROLE-PLAY REQUEST:

Heyo~! My name’s Lailani and I’m a 21 year old nerd looking for a fellow 18+ nerd to rp with! I’ve been writing for 9 years, rping for 7- so, I know my way around. I’m also in my fair share of fandoms/have a wide variety of media I’m interested in. Mostly anime/video game oriented. But, my current hyper-fixation is FNAF Security Breach. Which is what I am sending out this request for, primarily.

WHO I AM/WHAT I DO:

As I said- I am 21, so absolutely NO minors.

I am someone who identifies as female and am comfortable with a variety of mature themes/NSFW content including all but SUPER weird or fucked up shit. For example:

Sexual assault/r*pe scenes (though I am totally open to stories utilizing characters that deal with past trauma of all kinds)

Overtly weird fetishes (primarily anything involving stuff like spit, defection, golden rain, but not limited to these)

Anything sex or hard drug related involving minors (just, like- no. We don’t need that)

Honestly- other than that, we’re adults. We can write adult themes if they fit the narrative.

Speaking of- my rps tend to be a bit of everything. Fluff, angst, whatever mix of genre there just so happens to be in the story in question. Though I will say that if angst is had, comfort/fluff must follow. I’m all for putting our characters through the wringer a couple times so long as they get their happy ending/some reprieve.

One thing that is almost (pretty much) always featured though is ships- I love ships, and usually go canon x oc double up. I write your character’s partner you write my character’s partner. I’m comfortable with:

MxF

MxM

FxF (though I will admit I am unused to writing this kind of ship)

NBxWhomever/what-have-you

Canon x OC

Canon x Canon

OC x OC (so long as a clear chemistry/rapport gets established. Admittedly I don’t write these sorts of pairings often either)

To what fandoms does this criteria pertain to? As of right now:

FNAF Security Breach

Undertale

Deltarune

TMNT (mostly 2k12, that’s the one I grew up with. But honestly I’ve been thinking about getting into ROTMNT so if anyone feels like educating me please do XD)

Hazbin Hotel

Helluva Boss

Haikyuu!!

BNHA/MHA

AUs of any of these properties can most definitely apply

What I tend to love most about these properties are the characters. So I’m honestly down for pretty much whatever so long as we make it fun and keep them in character.

I’m pretty flexible in terms of platforms for rp, I know a lot of people really love Discord- and I’m totally cool to use it if that’s what you like, but I personally find the character limit restricting/just a touch annoying to navigate. Mostly I use Messenger- honestly. But, again- I’m flexible. So just let me know! ^^

WHAT I EXPECT:

I am looking for a long-term partner who is ACTIVE. We are people, we have lives, so I fully understand being unable to go 24/7. But I want someone who can handle a solid back-and-forth more than once or twice a week. I’m looking for consistency. Rping is a primary hobby of mine, I love writing/sharing that writing with another person. As such, I make time for it daily. Responses here and there throughout the day are common practice for me. If you send me a reply continuing the story, I will make the time to respond that day- usually sooner rather than later. Though nowadays those more solid back-and-forths are concentrated into the evenings, I want someone with a similar passion that is willing to pick it up for at least one solid back-and-forth more days than not.

If you are gonna be gone for an extended period of time, a small heads up would be very much appreciated though isn’t at all necessary. I also would appreciate a simple ‘I am no longer interested’ if ever you fall out of favor with our partnership and see no reason to continue. I have been ghosted before and it hasn’t ever felt good- especially when it relates to a story I was SUPER excited to write at the time. It may bite for a bit, but I can promise you I’d be able to get over it. We’d be all good 😂.

Strict length requirements- for me, aren’t really fair. Sometimes certain scenes just, don’t need much said. Especially if it’s between two characters exclusively. Quantity of words is hardly an indicator of their quality. What that said, though- I DO consider myself a semi-lit to lit rper, and expect the same of my partner. If you want me to make use of what I’m given- I gotta be given enough. This doesn’t mean to agonize over a 3 page reply for hours on end, AT ALL- but it does mean to put some meat on them bones, you know? You can see my page or PM me for examples.

As a small note- please make sure that the meat on said bones is legible in terms of grammar/spelling all that. I’m not an English teacher by any stretch at all- like I don’t need perfect punctuation or anything. But I would at least expect full sentences and good spelling.

I’m also looking for someone who’s open to talking headcanons, experimenting, just, having fun. Getting out there; getting creative. Even if it isn’t directly in the rp and takes place OOC. Like, I’m not even going to lie to you- some of my current headcanons/concepts I love for the Daycare Attendant have been lifted from The Sun and Moon show. Like, now I love the idea of the two of them being brothers and find the concept of Eclipse extremely interesting- I also really love what artists like Shandzii and Animasup did with them. I’m looking for someone who’s just open to geeking out about and speculating on the characters we write, because it’s fun! Part of what I love to do in rp is add my own special little spice to a character interpretation, so don’t be afraid to do the same and just- share! I’m all for just, geeking out here and there too- trust me, I can go on for a while 😂

Having a clear plan/trajectory for plot and characters also helps a lot for me. Like, it helps to know what you want- so that I can give it to you. And I would do the same on my end, to make it easier for you. On a smuttier note (because that is a thing I am comfortable with/willing to write), we are adults, we can and should feel comfortable having open conversation about what our interests are for those scenes- should they come up. If you have interests/desires/stuff that you like- we can talk about it! There’s absolutely nothing wrong with clear communication.

Another thing of great importance to me is that my partner has the ability to write more than just one or two characters, canon included. If I’m going to rp with someone, I am looking to have a roughly 50/50 split between who writes which members of our given ‘cast’. It’s no fun when one person shoulders 80% of the narrative and interaction responsibility, much less when that someone is you (speaking from experience).

This further feeds into the idea of ensuring that exchanges are equivalent. Meaning that if I put the time and effort into a scene or stuff revolving around your characters/ideas etc. exclusively, I expect the same to be done for me. There have been occasions where someone is on-point with replies when it comes to stuff exclusively focused on THEIR character, but the minute it shifts focus to mine they suddenly drop off/take way longer inbetween replies and the momentum screeches to a halt. That, isn’t fair. This is a team effort here, there has to be a give and take. Of course the stuff involving your character would hypothetically matter more to you, but in my mind- a rp where you only care about one member of your cast and not the group/story as a whole isn’t a very good one. It should be fun/engaging no matter who the focus is on.

And, really- at the end of the day that’s what rp is about for me. Having fun sharing in a great story and characters with someone else. Having them go on adventures/go through developments and grow- it’s fun. Roleplay should be a fun, de-stressing sort of experience. Unless the scene in question is tense. If you find it to be a chore- then please, open up and talk with me about it. Because my goal is to make sure that both of us are having fun with what we’re doing- otherwise we won’t wanna keep doing it!

(Bonus: Pet-peeve) - I only have one pet peeve when it comes to rp. And that’s when someone writes a response, sends it, I reply, and their character responds with “I wasn’t finished talking.”

Unless you indicate some form of opportunity for interruption in the character’s dialogue using something like a hyphen, I will be operating under the assumption that the character has said their full piece and that thus I can respond with mine. Please, please, PLEASE do not negate what my character says with the “I wasn’t finished” line if you make it seem as though your character is, in fact, finished.

TL;DR:

If you’re an 18+ y.o. nerd actively looking to rp FNAF SB (or any of the other properties I listed above) with someone who’s got experience in/loves character interpretation and storytelling, or just wanna fangirl/human about stupid shit regarding the properties in question as a nerd friend (because I need nerd friends, tbh)? Hmu either in the comments or in PM, I’d love to chat!

If you’re contacting me for RP please be sure and include:

Your age

The characters you would like to play (I personally would like to play Moon)

What it is you’d like the rp to be about. I have my own ideas of course- but I wanna see what the two of us can create together!

Thanks so much!

[psychelis-new]

Hello again, lys! I’m here to give feedback on my personal reading. It’s quite long, sorry about that.

First of all, I absolutely love how you communicate with people and how you voice your thoughts and give advice to people reaching out to you. I love reading your thoughts on life, tarot, divination or any other topic to be honest.

I agree with your thoughts about the journey of life , how we shouldn’t stress over the things that we have no control over. I keep trying to remind myself that life is not a race in which we have to reach certain milestones in a certain time, but it’s kind of hard for me to live by this statement. I’m a college student right now and I feel like everyone knows what they want, what goals they want to achieve so this feeling of being lost really takes a toll on me sometimes.

If we move onto the reading, I think the reading corresponds with what you said at the beginning. I’ve been living some kind of an identity crisis for a few years now and I think it’s related to my upbringing. One of my parents is a bit restrictive and as I grew up, my perception of life strayed away from theirs. I have been wanting to make some changes in my life according to my own understanding of life but I keep delaying out of fear(?) of their and my extended family’s reaction. I have never make and act on such a big decision on my own like this before so I fear doing something “bad” too (It’s a bit of a religion thing.). This could be the throat blockage you have talked about. You have also said that I’m already on a path right now, this may be about college or my interest in writing which I stopped practicing but I am wanting to start again. Fear and anxiety have been controlling them both for a while now.

I don’t know about the transformation and the cycle I’m ending but you already pointed out that I may not realized it. If it’s about the things I mentioned, it’s possible for me to not understand the entire process of change as it’s been going on for a long time period.

All in all, the reading really resonated with what I feel like I’m going through. I’ll try to not run away from new experiences and learn to trust myself about my own life.

Thank you for your time, your encouragements and insightful words. It is always a delight to read them.

Have a nice day, take care.

Hey, thanks a lot for sending your feedback, it's very appreciated! Thanks a lot also for all the kind words you had for me.

You know, many of us pretend (or think) they know what they want to do or who they wanna be, but from the thought to actually taking action, there's a huge difference. And tbh, even if some of them already have a clearer idea than yours, you should not compare your life with theirs. You're at your own point in life, and they're at theirs. It's fine to not have all the answer for your own life while others may have found theirs for their life. We are different people here for different reasons on different paths, and not all of us can really clear their life in 18 years or less, not all of us heal the same way (or heal at all). It's okay if you need more time to realize what you want: don't let society, anyone else or your upbringing make you feel like you're any less for this cause you're not.

You know what is funny? I have not mentioned that in your reading but I kept hearing writing (this also to say, as a reader, I do have doubts too about the messages I get... I'm human). So I guess that's indeed a path you may need to try and walk on again, maybe also to free yourself from this insecurity and fear of betraying, disappointing or upsetting (you choose the level of the emotion) all the ones around you. Which is not a thing. Sometimes we may have to hurt and disappoint someone we care for, but it's for a very good cause: our own happiness. Some people may not get that what they like and "impose" on us, may just not be for us; some people may need to actually see that we're happy in another way, to understand. Some people may not realize that the way they treat us as children can really have a toll on us as adults, just because they've been growing up under the same toll and never really stopped to realize it (different sensibility or different level of hurt: we're receiving a trauma transformed through more generations). This fear you feel btw, it's ofc normal if you've grown up in such a strict environment. And trust me, I know well how it feels and how scary it is also to just try and take a decision for yourself while waiting for someone shouting their anger at you cause you're wrong (in their eyes): but you know what? Many times this is a fear that's mostly in our mind, that we create for ourselves and not a real one: they may not be reacting as we fear, at all. I know it's terrifying and stressing to walk on eggshells but you don't have to do that. Remind yourself that, despite their actual reaction related to what you want to do (be it anger, control or judging), it's not your problem: it's very likely their trauma talking, and it has nothing to do with you and your life. Idk if it's only a religion thing here or also this, it could be both. But I hope you find ways to come out of your shell, little by little. To find some clarity and courage just by coming back to the things you like doing. Have no fear of writing. Writing is so freeing, especially journaling :) And I can tell you too as I really like to write on my other blog (where btw you may even find something that can help you cause it's mostly self help and things I'm trying to realize myself/learning).

I think the cycle ending in your reading may refer to this identity crisis you've been experiencing lately. You'll probably find your way out of it. You know, when we change the most we're not aware we're actually changing. We realize we have changed only after we've done with it, only after we're out of the storm. So I hope you can find your way out of your storm soon. But again, do not rush things. Take your time, respect yourself and appreciate who you are, even if you feel like you're not quite there yet. I'm not either, you know? And I've been out of college for a while. And we're not the only ones :) but we'll get there too, at our own pace.

I guess a long feedback required a long reply :D All the best, really. Take care<3

[xaeyrnofnbe]

ok so back when i was FIRST reading wof, i remember peeking into some online spaces surrounding the series and finding a whole lot of people making up their own dragon tribes. i’ve been reading the series again and have gotten much further this time, and am now going to describe to you my very self-indulgent fantribes. do they make sense? not necessarily. i’m having fun making them up though. (also i have not finished the whole series yet so if something i’ve written contradicts canon… just ignore that)

basically the first main bit of information is that these tribes are decended from an early ancestor of the seawings. at some point when those guys started breathing water, a good chunk of them split off from pyrrhia, managed to miss pantala completely, and ended up settling around an archipelago and spreading out into distinct new tribes. some in the water, some not. i will be listing them from highest to lowest geographically. or something like that idk.

StrikeWings

actually very similar to skywings in terms of appearance, though mostly in shades of dark blue and purple, with brighter blue, purple, or green vein-like patterns on the scales

they also host a whole lot of spikes and spines

if you’ve ever seen the show dragons: race to the edge, imagine a skrill. yeah that’s what these guys do. they fly around in thunderstorms and electrically charge their spines. or maybe they produce electricity like an electric eel. idk i haven’t decided yet but. they have lightning abilities is what i’m saying

StrikeWings live and build their towns and cities on the rocky beaches and cliffs of the islands of the archipelago (i am yet to name the archipelago), and cannot breathe water but do spend a lot of time fishing.

they’re tough, a little self-absorbed as a whole, and love sticking their noses in other dragons business.

CoralWings

very brightly colored. whatever color you can imagine on a coral reef, a CoralWing probably has at least a few of them on her scales

they have several curving, rounded horns, like stalks of coral

all around they kinda just look like they stuck coral all over themselves. which they sometimes actually do, but they do also just look like that.

CoralWings have no natural abilities or defenses outside of their water breathing (and their amphibiousness), due to their lack of predators

why no predators? because they live in the reefs and shallows surrounding the islands. nothing scary ever goes that close to the islands outside of sharks and the occasional orca, but what are they gonna do against a DRAGON?

easily the most sociable tribe, being close allies with both the StrikeWings and KelpWings. they also live somewhat in between the two other tribes.

they’re also closely related to the KelpWings

and they have a pretty cozy symbiotic relationship with the StrikeWings. the CoralWings offer pretty shiny things, and are often implored to do a lot of aesthetic-based work. and the StrikeWings protect them.

KelpWings

they look a lot like CoralWings, but with duller colors, coming in muted shades of green, brown, and yellow, with the occasional brighter yellow spots. they also have a lot of stringy, extended soft bits all over their bodies that trail behind them as they swim and look like kelp

bioluminescent, slippery, and can only survive outside of water for a very short period of time

the largest tribe in the archipelago, inhabiting the huge kelp forests surrounding the islands and coral reefs. they also have the most political troubles, with a specific leader for each forest. they also spend a good amount of time in open, empty waters

they have a very broad diet, eating all sorts of things. urchins, mussels, crabs, fish, an otter or shark here and there, you name it. they’re not picky eaters.

but they’re very protective of their kelp forests and always do their best to keep them in tiptop shape

TrenchWings

these ones are my favorite

huge, bulky dragons with thick, armorlike scales. they come in mostly dull dark blueish greys and browns, with the odd exception of a muted pink or orange

based off of dunkleosteus. like HEAVILY based off of them.

bioluminescent, and are incredibly sensitive to movement in surrounding waters. they also have an efficient sense of smell and have such think scales almost nothing can hurt them. oh and they cannot breathe above water and they cannot fly

TrenchWings live in underwater trenches, canyons, and caves. being so very deep below the surface, they have minimal contact with the upper tribes. there are occasional interactions, but little to no trading or friendly conversation

BrineWings

look very similar to KelpWings, but with touches of deep-sea-fish creepiness. and are almost always just shades of grey

same abilities as the TrenchWings, just without the heavy natural armor

small and skinny

they live in the same caves as the TrenchWings, but far deeper than those dragons would ever dare to go, building their settlements in huge caverns rich with life and bioluminescence

they love books and scrolls and writing. they have seemingly endless libraries, and are very scholarly. they’re big fans of information and documenting said information

but unfortunately for them, they have no contact with any tribe outside of the TrenchWings. but even to them, the BrineWings are more of a legend, or a story to scare young dragonets to keep them from venturing deeper into the caves

Leviathans (i’ll come up with a better name at some point. maybe. potentially.)

colossally sized dragons, no tribe knows much about them, cause most who come in contact with them don’t live to tell the tale

these guys are why the TrenchWings are so heavily armored. they’re the TrenchWing’s natural predator

considered monstrous and unintelligent, driven only by hunger and a thirst for destruction

i made them though, and i know better than that. they’re not as intelligent as the other tribes, they’re like the chimpanzee to the other dragon’s human. actually pretty chill, they’re just big and scary.