#I’ve been thiiiiiinking about him

[maybeimamuppet]

I LOST THE ASK IM SORRY ANON BUT HERE

REGINA

favorite thing about them

heheeeeeehoooo i’m a lesbian but honestly she has so much like depth to her in a way that’s not immediately obvious and it’s really interesting as a writer getting to explore that beyond canon

least favorite thing about them

i don’t like that i relate to her!!!! i don’t like the idea of being mean and she is and i’m entirely convinced she and i have the same personality disorder and i am terrified that i’m like her. some people have said it and i just hate that it might be true

but like as a character in and of herself it’s how she uses people for her own gain. that’s not cool boo

favorite line

“boo, you whore” from the movie

“that’s what i keep trying to explain to the president on twitter but he blocked me” from the show

i can’t remember enough of what she says in the new movie rn but i’ll find smth later i’m sure lol

brOTP

damian. she and damian both love taylor swift and they listen to every song together and fangirl together and also damian gets her into musicals. regina likes the dark gritty ones with good music like les mis and little shop and damian likes the classics (obvs)

OTP

post redemption arc i ship her with like every woman in this. like any combo of gretchen and karen, i’m an absolute SUCKER for cadina (like i’m literally on my knees begging for cadina fic prompts please), rejanis is. it has potential not my fav but i do partake from time to time.

but like aaron would just turn out bad nobody really likes shane or kevin and damian. is gay. so none of the men lol

nOTP

this woman is GAY so again any of the guys lol. also if it’s done wrong rejanis can be real icky and i don’t like that

random headcanon

she can juggle. cady is the only one who knows and regina will absolutely kill her if she lets it slip

unpopular opinion

she is a victim who made the wrong choices and not the monster a lot of people make her out to be. she is not the villain of the story she is the villain of her own life by fault of her own mind which is the fault of her upbringing and she is making the only choices she knows how which just so happen to hurt a lot of people. she absolutely can be redeemed and she deserves it. which is why the bus doesn’t just straight up kill her.

song i associate with them

i think i said this for janis but monster from frozen has very much internal regina vibes to me that she like is terrified of letting anyone else see. also i know it’s about something VERY DIFFERENT but all grown up from bare seems like it would really speak to her. and also just all of renee’s songs bc duh

favorite picture of them

it’s a gif and this is how i lost the post last time but uh

like. holy shit.

DAMIAN

favorite thing about them

i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again but that boy drinks his loving janis sarkisian juice every morning as part of a balanced breakfast. he knows they’re each others person and i think he navigates their admittedly strange relationship really well. 

and also i love that this ~17 year old fat openly gay kid has SO MUCH confidence in himself. could he be overcompensating and actually have a lot internally that he doesn’t like about himself? yes absolutely . but the way he chooses to handle himself with such grace and confidence as he navigates such a complex web of social issues is really admirable to me and i don’t think he gets enough credit :))

least favorite thing about them

some of the stereotypes aren’t like super cool but like they had to come from somewhere so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

favorite line

damian is what got me into this show tbh i have so many

but i thiiiiiink it’s gotta be either “and they are more addictive than opioids and girl scout thin mints combined” (also hot take but i’ve been a girl scout for 18 years and thin mints SUCK)

OR

“did she just leave while i was actively caring about her? no. / she’s leaving! just like my DAD.”

honestly just like all of stop all of cautionary tale just him i love him yes

brOTP

besides the obvious answer of janis again i would say regina. but also he and gretchen get coffee at least once a week and bond over dances and choreography and whatnot and he and karen are joined at the hip whenever they’re together and you cannot tell me otherwise. and cady is basically his little sister

OTP

THEATRE BOY FROM THE NEW MOVIE OMGGGGG but also like. i don’t really know lol

i usually write him as being with aaron but that’s bc when i was writing like three months in i asked and all my (four) readers at the time said they wanted damiaaron it was not my first pick. but it has grown on me a lot and i think they’re super cute together

nOTP

i am terrified of the amount of romantic fic out there for him and janis?? like y’all ran face first into the point and hit ur heads so hard u still couldn’t see it huh

random headcanon

he kicked janis’ front teeth out in tap class when they were five and janis still has a small scar on her lip

unpopular opinion

i know i write about it a lot and stuff but making him trans feels really reductive of his personality sometimes. we need more trans rep obviously and i love people being able to take characters like him and feel seen but i question it with him in particular a lot. similar vibes to people who make matilda trans i just dk. lots of complicated feelings about it

also that he is the best goddamn character in the whole thing

song i associate with them

uhhhhhh for whatever reason 9 to 5 by dolly parton?? and jolene are the first two to pop into my head lol idk why

oh and also better work bitch by britney spears (i think??)

favorite picture of them

[the-fog-system]

I HATE THIS ITS SO STUPID I HAVE 2 GUYS IM TALKING TO AND ONE OF THEM IS MILITARY AND THE OTHER HAS 2 KIDS I GUESS??????? and they def told me early enough on for it to not be weird but also not early enough that i hadn’t already started enjoying talking to them AND THERES NO FUCKING ONE ELSE INTERESTING AROUND HERE TO TALK TO UGH military isn’t a thing i had a hard no on before just something i def didn’t wanna deal with the stress of (and ofc he’s the one i’m actually starting to Like plus i thiiiiiink it’s mutual cause he def said he wouldn’t be able to text me anything long til after deployment and i got 4 paragraphs last night hehe 😈 so yes, until something comes up i will be putting up with the stress 🙄). but the kids thing i’m like actually having to THINK about cause i’ve never been with someone with kids (or even like close friends with someone with them 😅) and i don’t at all know what it would involve and i think that just might not be something i’m ready to be involved in in any kind of actual™️ capacity lol (i’d still wanna be friends or whatever or even fwb or something with him cause we haven’t talked as much as guy 1 but i think guy 2 and i actually do relate on more when it comes to things we’ve been thru, and i think we only haven’t talked quite as much cause guy 1 is REALLY a fantastic conversationalist so that takes more of my spoons lmao) cause yeah idk if i’m trying to meet someone’s kids anytime soon 😅 so yeah sorry for ranting abt that i’m bored at home and guy 2 sent me a video of him hanging with his kids so now i’m thinking about it lmaoooooo

[comicaurora]

You've talked before about your favorite/most interesting aspect of writing each character, and "least favorite" trait is obviously kind of hard to pin down when it's your own creation, so rather, what trait do you think is the most difficult aspect to write with each character as you work with them?

Hoohoohoo, a spicy one!

Let's start with my main man Kendal. For a character I have a lot in common with who I am also singlehandedly responsible for writing, I have no goddamn idea what he's going to do next. Kendal's priorities are completely out of alignment with the other characters and with most human beings in general. What he prioritizes moment to moment is often completely impossible for me to predict before I am actively drawing the page.

This shit? Wasn't expecting it! In my initial timeline I had them searching for Falst together when the sun rose! Didn't realize Kendal's simmering frustration at not being listened to was going to bubble over the minute things slowed down!

Wasn't expecting this one either! I thought it'd be a much more drawn out debacle! It didn't click until I was boarding it that, if Kendal was motivated enough to actually fight, he wasn't going to mess around.

And I was expecting him to keep this a secret so they were all going to be blindsided when he got snatched by Zuurith! I didn't realize until I was storyboarding this page that he wouldn't even consider keeping it from Alinua.

Kendal is a quiet character, even in my head. Sometimes I don't know what he's going to do until he's actively in the scene. It's interesting - I've never had a character surprise me so much.

Alinua's tricky because she is, quite frankly, a mess on the inside, but she's a high-functioning mess. It's not usually visible how much she's fretting or clinging or compartmentalizing. She pretty much only shows these facets when she's alone with her thoughts, which she has been trying very hard not to do ever since she got out of that tree. A few people have correctly analyzed her character as fairly anxious and codependent, but I haven't really had a chance to let her fully fall apart, so I don't think it's as clear as it could be how much she's struggling sometimes. (I've also seen her described as the "team mom" which I think is very funny, because in my opinion she is probably the least qualified person in the party to be responsible for a person full time.)

I thiiiiiink I'll be able to let the cracks show near the end of the arc, but we'll see how it plays out.

Erin is a thankfully easy answer. As the designated Well-Educated Smart Dude he makes for a very easy fountain of exposition, and it's very tempting to just let him give the characters exactly what information they need for the plot to happen. Inversely, it's also tempting to be selective with his knowledge, i.e. he doesn't know things so the plot can happen due to general party ignorance. I have to make sure his knowledge makes sense with his background rather than just serving the convenience of the plot.

There's also the fact that he's not always willing to share what he knows, which can be frustrating to wrangle.

Falst is tricky because he's volatile. He and Alinua both have a lot going on underneath and a lot of emotions that boil pretty close to the surface, so it's mostly a matter of figuring out what he's feeling most strongly that will be predominantly motivating him at any given time. He's also stubborn and prideful, which means if I need him to be emotionally vulnerable in any way for the plot to happen, it's an absolute bitch to wrestle him into position to make that happen.

Sometimes literally.

He's also tricky because I'm trying to make sure his character is consistent. He makes sense to me, but he has a tendency to pivot from "clear-headed voice of reason" to "let's go break a prison in half" that probably can feel a little jarring, so I have to make sure to communicate enough of his internal reasoning to make those make sense - which, again, is tricky because of how prideful and emotionally constipated he can be. His "voice of reason" thing tends to happen with things he's not emotionally invested in, like other people's personal arcs -

But the "sudden chaos gremlin" stuff is motivated from the stuff he doesn't necessarily want to talk about or express vulnerability over - a shameful temptation to give up his identity to escape persecution, a sudden deep attachment to a friend he wants to rescue, etc.

It's mostly just a matter of making sure his motivations aren't completely arcane so even if he surprises the audience he's not breaking character in the process.

[sloanerisette]

Jyoumi Challenge 2021 Day #17: Living Together

Ok I had a lot of fun with this! It really took a few cartwheels and some bending backwards to try and get this together to where it made sense to me, but frankly, once the idea came to mind it wouldn’t leave and I had to do it. I’ve really enjoyed writing the friends into lovers and quiet feelings and the like that I’ve done a few times for this challenge so far. I hope y’all enjoy!

---

“Ok, that should be the last box,” Joe said, setting down a cardboard box in the center of the room, standing up and setting his hands on his hips.

“Thank you so much for the help!” Mimi said, starting to open up one of the smaller boxes that was stacked on top of a few others.

“Of course, happy to help,” he said, looking at the mess of boxes that were strewn out along his now occupied guest room. “Now I’m glad that the only place I was able to get here was a two bedroom one.”

He couldn’t stop himself from laughing, while Mimi had a large grin on her face.

“You can’t be gladder than I am,” she teased, “Now I actually have a place to live.”

“Well, welcome back,” he smiled gently.

“Happy to be back.”

Joe folded his hands together as he looked at the mess of boxes and other possessions she had brought along, then back to her.

“Do you want any help? I mean— I— I wouldn’t want to unpack your clothes or anything, because, you know… those are your clothes and I don’t want to look at anything you wouldn’t want me to see…”

Mimi couldn’t help but giggling, bringing a hand up to her mouth to hide it a bit, but Joe was quick to notice, heat rising to his face instantly. He clenched his hands together and looked away, before bringing a balled hand up to his mouth and coughed.

“What are you blushing about, Joe? Its just my clothes.”

“Well, like I said, I just wouldn’t want to look at anything that might be private…”

“Oh, well I already know you wouldn’t! Come on, how long have we known each other? I’d always give you more credit than that,” she told him sweetly, “I thiiiiiink I should be good, though?”

Mimi looked back at the boxes that were scattered about the floor.

“I might need your help with my bed later, if you don’t mind?” she asked, tilting her head as she looked up at him.

“Of course. I made sure to take today off to help with your things and in case you needed any help.”

“Thanks, but I’ll probably be spending the whole day organizing my closet and my bathroom.”

Joe nodded, “Sounds great. Just let me know if you need anything?”

“Mhm!”

And with that, Joe left Mimi to unpack. That first day had been nice, if simple. Mimi chided him for suggesting ordering out as opposed to not letting her whip something up for them as a partial thanks for letting her move in so quickly, and he had done his best in helping assemble her bed frame.

And those next days had been great, too. It wouldn’t have been a question to Joe to have Mimi as a roommate, what with how close of friends they had been for so long, but things seemed to have gone even better than expected. They helped each other out with the chores around the apartment, had meals together when they were both home, and it had been nice for each to have someone else there.

Joe had always been so busy working at the hospital, so for him, having someone at his apartment made it all feel far less lonely compared to how things had been during his undergrad years. And for Mimi? Being back in Japan again and prepping her online store had been a whirlwind, so the grounding force that was Joe Kido had been great to lean on when a day had gotten too stressful.

Sure, both of them were out of the apartment plenty, but the mornings they had breakfast (at least when Joe wasn’t in a panicked rush out the door) or when they could just sit down and watch something on TV together. Each of them were grateful to have their best friend by their side after so long.

A week later, Joe had trudged into the apartment at eight at night, barely making it through the door. He was slouching, with deep, dark circles under his eyes, and looking a mess. Mimi got up from her seat at the table, frowning when she saw him dragging his feet along the floor.

“You’re late.”

“Sorry,” he sighed, “Things got really chaotic and I was only able to get out a half hour ago. I just took a rideshare back because I didn’t want to deal with the subway.”

“Are you ok?” she asked, gently wrapping an arm around his shoulder to lead him over to sit. As soon as he touched the chair he let out a groan, leaning his head back and resting it against the back of the chair.

“I’ll be fine, I’m just exhausted. I’m really sorry for missing dinner.”

“Did you eat anything at least? Or at least get a break?” Worry was clear in her eyes, watching her roommate just about visibly deflate for the brief moment he got to sink into a wooden chair.

“No, no one had a chance at a break. It was basically nonstop from the moment I got there on. I think all I was able to get was a bottle of water after noon.”

He loved the work he did, but sometimes it could be exhausting when there were days like these where he didn’t even have a chance to sit for a few moments.

“Do you want me to heat some leftovers up?” she asked, frown still deep on her face.

“No, no I’m good, but thanks. I’m probably just gonna go to bed. Even thinking about being up much longer is tiring me out.”

Mimi nodded, “Ok. Let me help you to your room then, at least? And promise me you’ll change out of those scrubs and put on some nice pajamas!” she lectured. Joe managed to push himself up, and Mimi all but flew to his side, once again wrapping an arm around him because, frankly, she was afraid he might fall over if she didn’t help him stay up.

“I will, I will, I promise,” he said. Frankly, he wasn’t sure if he would, but at least telling Mimi so would help him avoid her insisting on putting the pajamas on him herself.

“Good,” she smiled, seeming satisfied. “Don’t worry, we’ll take it nice and slow for you.”

“Thanks,” he said with a weak smile, “My legs appreciate it.”

She couldn’t help but smile and laugh a bit, at which Joe’s tired face showed an unamused expression. Mimi quickly shook her head, tittering for a few moments before finally calming.

“No no, I’m not laughing at you or your legs hurting. You’re just funny,” she told him, nodding to herself, “Your sense of humor hasn’t changed one bit.”

“Well, I’m glad someone still appreciates my humor,” he joked, voice deadpan, which caused another bout of giggles to spill from Mimi.

“I’ve always liked your sense of humor,” she said, before moving to open the door, leading him in and helping him to sit down on the bed.

“Thanks again, I really appreciate it,” he said, before letting out a loud yawn, stretching his arms above his head. His eyes were half-closed now, and he pulled off his glasses so his free hand could rub his eyes.

“Ok, I’m gonna leave so you can get changed, but I want you to get changed so you can really unwind in bed and get some good sleep, ok?” she asked.

Another yawn, and Joe nodded sleepily, “Yes ma’am. Trust me, I’m going to fall asleep in no time.”

Mimi smiled, pleased that he seemed to at least be listening to her and no longer be so stubborn about it.

“G’night, Joe,” she whispered, slowly tiptoeing out of his room.

“Night, Meems,” he mumbled, and when she looked over her shoulder, she saw him walking over to his dresser. With a now satisfied smile, Mimi closed the door behind her and headed off to her own room to answer some emails to some employees who were in New York she hadn’t gotten to earlier due to her worry over Joe not showing back up. At least he was ok, even though he had left so early and gotten back even later than usual.

Maybe she would whip up something nice for him in the morning before he left. She could think about that as she was getting ready for bed, herself. For now, the life of a young entrepreneur meant getting things done even off the clock.

A few emails turned into getting a few other pieces of work done instead of later, and that turned into starting to sketch out some new earrings that had come to her in a flash of inspiration. By the time she checked her phone it had turned just past midnight, and as soon as she realized the time, it was like all of the energy started to leave her.

“Oh, right, I should probably get some sleep, too…” she mumbled to herself. She moved to her own wardrobe to start to change, putting on her own pajamas and crawling onto her bed. Despite her hopes that she would fall off to slumber as soon as her head touched the pillow, but sleep eluded her for a bit.

In a way, she was glad it did, because when she heard loud, loud pounding against the door, she shot up and nearly fell from her bed. The sound of her heart was pounding in her ears, and she waited in silence, only for the sound to repeat again, this time longer than before. Once it stopped, Mimi got out of bed and padded out of her room and towards Joe’s as quickly and quietly as she could.

She kept her breath held the entire time, slowly opening the door and peeking her head in.

“Joe? Joe!” she whisper shouted, hands gripping onto the doorway. As she looked in shorter, she saw that he seemed to be out like a light. But that didn’t deter her and she crept forward, closing the door behind her, as she headed to Joe’s bed.

“Joe, Joe? Joe someone is banging at the door,” she whispered, “Joe, Joe come on, Joe,” she continued quietly, barely holding back a yelp when she heard that banging on the door again, yet that didn’t wake up Joe at all.

“How is he…?” she asked herself quietly. She leaned down and slowly started to shake his shoulder, feeling bad about the fact that she was, especially considering she had dealt with far louder evenings when she and her family lived in New York, but something— probably the fact that someone was pounding endlessly on their door— left her unsettled.

“Ngh… hnngh…” he muttered out quietly,

“Joe, Joe can I stay in here for the night? Would you mind? I’m so sorry for bugging you while you’re trying to sleep after the day you had, but it would help me feel a lot better.”

Joe turned over, eyes barely opening, bleary, and he let out another yawn.

“M…Meems? Hnn… Yeah… yeah… mhm…” he mumbled, before he closed his eyes again and buried his face in the pillow.

“Thank you thank you thank you,” she said, wasting no time in crawling into bed next to him. For whatever reason, as soon as she was there, next to him (though she had opted to lay above the sheets), she was quick to fall asleep, resting far easier than she had the past few nights, even.

As light started to pour into his room, Joe slowly blinked, coming to consciousness feeling refreshed in both body and mind, and he let out a content sigh. His alarm hadn’t gone off yet, so he could spare five more minutes in a warm bed to rest.

…A bed that was far warmer than usual…

…And his sheets felt… heavier? No…

He looked down to see a slim arm wrapped around him, and he couldn’t stop himself from letting out a yell of surprise. As soon as he did, he heard the equally loud yell of one Mimi Tachikawa, and he shot up in bed, turning to look at her with wide eyes.

“Mimi! What’re you doing here!?” he asked, though if anything she seemed confused at his confusion.

“…Sleeping?” she said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, and while it was obvious, he was still completely and utterly baffled.

“Well, yes, but why?”

“You said I could,” she said matter-of-factly.

But when did he say that?

“I…” he trailed off, at a loss for words, at which she quickly picked up.

“Remember when I came in your room last night and asked if I could stay here with you because someone was knocking on the door really loud?” she asked.

“What? No you—” he started, when it came to him.

A brief moment he had come awake last night, though in all honesty, he wasn’t even truly cognizant of what was happening and still figured he was asleep in some manner.

“Did. You did. That’s right.”

A grimace came on her face and she ducked her head, “No, no, I’m sorry to startle you. I didn’t want to wake you up because you were so exhausted but I was a little freaked out,” she told him, glancing away for a moment.

“No, you’re fine, really. I’m surprised, sure, but its ok, really,” he insisted.

A small smile came on her face, as well as a look of relief. She quickly got up off the bed and went to the door, turning to look at Joe.

“Well, at least let me make breakfast? Both to apologize for freaking you out and also because you barely ate yesterday?”

“You’re not going to accept no for an answer, are you Mimi?” he asked with a knowing smile, and Mimi nodded silently, just as amused as he seemed to be.

“Ok, ok. Thank you, Mimi,” he said. She clapped her hands together happily.

“Great! I’ll whip up something delicious for us!”

As she went off to the kitchen, humming a song to herself, Joe took a moment to collapse onto the bed and let out a long sigh. His mind was now racing.

“Well, that brought back a lot of feelings I tried to shove down for years.”

[goatsandgangsters]

okay okay okay EPISODE 6. I’m still… out of fucking breath. from the last one.

I didn’t plan on live-blogging because then I’d have to keep pausing to type but actually I’m having too much fun, I guess I’m liveblogging now

my posts just keep getting longer and more and more incomprehensible 

I forgot to mention in my last one, but it was a really good call to include the whole “west ravka wants to secede” plot line. it adds a lot, politically, and also adds a sense of urgency. whereas the book is a little bit like, the darkling is kind of a dumbass if you think about it because ALL HE HAD TO DO WAS WAIT LIKE 50 MORE YEARS, WHICH IS NOTHING IN THE GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS, but now there’s definitely like. political urgency and necessity that the books don’t convey to the same degree.  

also adds a lot of dimension to What Happens At The End of The Book. which, I’m not there yet, episode-wise. but liiiiiiiiike.

BEN! BARNES! HAS! THE! RANGE! oh I love that they let him be lovesick and terrifying back-to-back like this, god he’s so fucking good. like, we all knew? we all knew this was a stroke of absolute casting genius? but god I don’t think we were actually capable of realizing To What Degree

oh god Inej looking at Alina I’m gonna CRY I actually got teary-eyed??

poor fedyor. he was planning so many double dates and then darklina had to go and breakup. (side note: I am SO INTRIGUED that the darkling thinks ivan is hilarious, so I just think the two “grumpy one/sunshine one” couples should go on a double date. get ravkan ice cream. why can’t this family ever have a funky fresh good time)

“I’ll never let go, helvar”

yo, real talk, why’s the darkling’s bed so short. dOES HE SLEEP WITH HIS LEGS DANGLING OFF THE END. this furniture is absolutely not proportionate to his height at all.

also it’s interesting how often he calls her “miss starkov” instead of alina, considering in the book he’s like “hello alina, how are you alina, alina how is alina today, alina I’ve seen what you truly are alina, FINE alina MAKE alina ME alina YOUR alina.” I’m pretty sure when I first read shadow and bone, literally the only reason I learned alina’s name is because he kept saying it

FASCINATING, CANON ZOYA/DARKLING???????????? honestly don’t know if I like that??? I prefer to think that he has not gotten laid in a couple hundred years because he’s just bad at being a person and isn’t actually as slick as he thinks he is. I cannot believe they un-canoned Zoya/Mal and canon’d this, UNEXPECTED. feels weird. 

on the plus side, I genuinely want a polycule of a solid half the trilogy characters and I guess it’s getting more canon by the minute! this is zoya and her girlfriend alina and alina’s three boyfriends mal, darkling comma the, and nikolai, who are also or have been zoya’s boyfriends at one point or another plus alina’s girlfriend genya who is also zoya’s girlfriend genya and genya’s boyfriend david” I’m allowed a seven-person polyship right?

fedyor and ivan go on double dates with the seven-person polycule. it’s a really tight booth in restaurants. 

also this is zoya’s ex-girlfriend nina who sometimes visits from ketterdam and brings her boyfriend and her girlfriend, and her girlfriend’s boyfriend, and his boyfriend, and his boyfriend.

AND THEN THEY ALL GET BRUNCH, THANK YOU AND GOOD NIGHT

baghra can come too but only because she likes getting day-drunk on mimosas with nikolai and bITCHING with him 

god I miss brunch. and friendship. and cocktails. and human contact. 

anyway back to actually watching this episode

I really like that Alina is about 10x more Actively Involved in everything that happens to her vs. in the first book where she’s more along for the ride

it is emotionally a weird experience to see Mal get pelted with a water bottle and go YEAAH followed by aw nah, he doesn’t deserve that. There is A Mal in another universe who deserves to get pelted by 15 water bottles but it is not this Mal. This Mal can stay. Book Mal is on thin fucking ice and will be pelted with water bottles. But Show Mal is Valid and Allowed. god Archie’s SO FUCKING good. I CANNOT BELIEVE I’M HAVING SOFT FEELINGS ABOUT THIS BUT HERE WE ARE, LIFE IS FULL OF SURPRISES, such is archie’s power and he deserves praise

“Your powers don’t scare me” OHHHHHHH SUCH AN IMPROVEMENT THANK GODDDDDDD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

WHAT the FUCK I am having EMOTIONS over malina scenes

I LOVE NINA SO FUCKING MUCH. I love her endlessly giving Matthias a hard time. he deserves it. god I love HER SHE’S SO GOOD!!!!!!!!

ohhhhhh the MLEMS are FIIIIIGHTING

OHHHHHHHH THE EMO BOYS ARE FIIIIIIIGHTING

oh. my god. they stole the fuckin. they. okay but like, his horsies tho :(((((

KHDFGKSJDFHGSKDFJHGKH DAVID!!!!!! hkdfjhgdfkjghsdfhg d a v id. fjkdhgsdkjfhgdfh dddddaaavviiiiiiidddd. DAVID.

I absolutely love the thought of the darkling, ivan, and david hanging out, because it’s like the three least social people in all of ravka. and they absolutely LOVE one another’s company because no one talks, there is no small talk, and they can just SIT in SILENCE and it’s nICE. sometimes they make brief eye contact and nod a couple times and then go back to politely sitting in silence. 

sdfjkghskhdf his disdainful little ~a d o r a b l e~ about mal and alina deeply resonates with my experiences of reading the books. though AGAIN, WEIRD TO BE HAVING FEELINGS NOW. 

GOD SO NOW I HAVE TO DECIDE!!!!! IT’S SO FUCKING TEMPTING TO WATCH 7 AND 8 TOMORROW NIGHT. IT IS SO TEMPTING. THEN I CAN UNBLACKLIST IT AND REBLOG ALL THE GIFETS.

BUUUUUUUT I have a busy and hectic week and 7 and 8 would be a really nice treat to have waiting for me NEXT Friday as motivation to get through the week

But that also means I have to keep being vigilant about not looking at Content for another week AND IT’S REALLY HARD TO MAINTAIN THAT RESOLVE NOT TO LOOK

god I don’t know what to do. delayed gratification normally comes so naturally to me, this is an actual struggle. I thiiiiiink I’m gonna try and hold off because future!me will be grateful next friday. but mid-week me who wants to look at gifsets will be mad. 

[shadowsong26fic]

Coming Attractions!

First Monday of the month (and year!) so it’s time for a Coming Attractions post!

(As a note, this post will discuss/reference certain EPIX/Rise of Skywalker spoilers.)

So, I didn’t get quite as much done this past month as I’d hoped overall--I’d planned to get way more Precipice done and get a bigger/better start on my Big Bang project, as well as more OFLAM, but the presents I was making for family members as well as a Secret Santa fic took up more time than I was expecting them to. Also, I. Uh. I found a Banjo-Kazooie emulator and my inner child became Very Demanding <.< >.>

Anyway! Specific updates:

Precipice:

I went into a fair amount of detail about the game plan for this fic here, and that’s still my goal. Hoping to get the next chapter out tomorrow? Fingers crossed…

SPOILER DISCUSSION

With regard to Rey’s parentage/Palpatine’s canonical son--as of right now, I don’t have any plans to include him in Precipice or any other projects I have going on right now. As with all my plans, this may change at some point--it’s highly unlikely for Precipice, specifically, given some of what I have planned for Lavinia; but I do have some AUs percolating where I could fit him in if I so chose.

The other reason for this is that, apart from Masks and Jedi of Valdemar, I don’t really have solid plotting out far enough to reach the ST? Rey’s background is definitely different in JoV (in that it’s…not actually relevant and probably won’t ever be clarified; but if it is, due to the way Palpatine is set up in that AU, her father can’t exist), and if I ever do get back to Masks!verse, I technically locked my canon as of TFA, but I may restructure or go in a different direction there as well.

But, yeah, apart from that--most of my projects center around the PT or inter-trilogy period, ranging into or shortly past the OT to deal with some of the aftermath/rebuilding, so it’s unlikely to come up. If I do end up writing something apart from the two mentioned above that gets into ST-era stuff, I’ll make the call on a case-by-case basis. Though I reserve the right to change my mind if/when we get supplementary material about Rey’s parents, depending on how much I like them XD

Overall, I guess what I should say is--generally speaking, I tend to work in a blended canon, particularly for post-ROTJ stuff, which means I use a lot of the political/social/general post-war how-things-worked framework from Legends, throwing in characters from canon because I adore them (and some Legends characters as well; at some point, I’ll put up the full JoV timeline which will demonstrate XD). So…yeah, case-by-case basis, like I said. Pick and choose, blended canon.

Mostly laying all this out because--well, if you’ve read my stuff/been following Precipice at all, I’m sure you can guess why. My overall EPIX reaction post is here if you’re curious, but I’m more or less planning to stick to my Star Wars “home,” so to speak, as I’ve already found it in terms of the things I write.

END SPOILER DISCUSSION

our faces like a mirror:

I really, really, really want to finally debut this fic before the Siege of Mandalore arc with S7 of TCW. Not that I think it’ll super Joss what I have planned? But I’d rather get it out there. I have a fair amount of material, especially for the first half, so I’ll hopefully be able to keep up a fairly regular update schedule when I get started? But we shall see.

Other Fanfic Projects:

I thought my Secret Santa turned out pretty well! And my giftee liked it, which is of course the goal XD There were a couple bits that didn’t make it into the final piece (including a point where Luke asked about his mother, but it got tangenty and threw off the rhythm of all three scenes I tried to fit it in, so).

Like I said, I didn’t get a whole lot of other stuff done last month, but for January, I’m hoping to work on my big bang project (I just need to figure out what Obi-Wan’s going to do; I’ve mostly got Anakin and Padme’s threads worked out, though I might shift some things around and I need to figure out a couple details on Anakin’s end. I thiiiiiink how I’m going to work on it is keep the three threads separate (though, because I’m me, I’ll be jumping around and not writing anything in order lol) and then figure out how to braid them together later, but we shall see.) I need to double-check the due date for the draft, but I should be able to get things done if I get my butt in gear.

So, yeah--given SWBB and my Precipice and OFLAM plans described above, I don’t think I’m gonna be working on much else this month, unless something really jumps out at me. Or I decide to fulltext anything I’ve been playing with re: some of the characters mentioned in the Family of Spies AU, which is always a possibility XD

So, to end the post--last January, I set up some Goals/New Years’ Resolutions! So, let’s see how I did and figure out goals for next year…

2019 goals:

1. Finish Precipice and at least one full arc of Protectors/Precipice II                …yeah, that didn’t happen. Whoops. 2. Write at least 7.5k of origfic content.                 Just barely made it with 7,681 words \o/ 3. Start posting OFLAM and/or Untitled ObiAniDala Epic AU                …well, I actually did end up using the Untitled Epic AU as my SWBB last year? (Which obviously eventually got a title, The Devoted.) I even did a companion piece! But that may be cheating, since when I set this goal, I was planning to set it aside and do something separate, lol… 4. Revive a semi-hiatused fic (Distaff or Auxiliaries or Phoenix!Verse)                …I don’t think I even wrote any content on those three this year, let alone posted/properly revived it, whoops… 5. Update Lux and Farglass Cycle archives, and transfer tumblr archive to DW                I didn’t finish the archive updates, but I did get a fair amount done, so yay! Did not transfer my tumblr archive, though. I should do that. Or at least re-download the backup… 6. At least four AU outline installments of some kind.                I got two? So…half-credit! 7. Complete BB submission, and keep an eye out for other challenges/exchanges/whatever.                As mentioned above, I did complete my submission, and I did a Secret Santa exchange! I possibly could’ve done more/kept a closer eye, but I did at least do something here, so, yay! Go me!

2020 goals (these will be…mostly repeats, lol…):

1. Finish Precipice; complete Arcs 8 and 9 in Protectors/Promises/Precipice II; put out some level of Arc 7.5/Preludes content. 2. Write at least 10k of origfic content. 3. Start posting OFLAM 4. Revive a semi-hiatused fic (i.e., Distaff; Auxiliaries; Phoenix!Verse; one of the BSG fics I keep meaning to go back to if I ever actually sit down and rewatch the series; if I add an actual sequel/companion to Deja Vu… that probably counts…) 5. Finish updating Lux and Farglass Cycle archives; keep them updated through the end of the year as new content gets added. 6. At least four AU outline installments of some kind; preferably including a continuation of Ventress and Her Tiny Time-Travelling Conscience and actually writing up the main part of Let’s Go Steal a Crossover; but any outline will count. 7. Complete BB submission and keep an eye out for other challenges/exchanges. 8. Write at least one holiday fic (Valentine’s Day; Mother’s Day; Father’s Day; Halloween; New Year’s; etc.) and post on the appropriate day.

[beavesaintmarie]

yeah and even if gendry embraces robert, he's still a waters bc he's not a trueborn.

yeah well not unless someone with the authority legitimizes him and tbh i’ve got this theory that those born with bastard names like him and jon will opt to keep their bastard names because that’s who they’ve always been. 

i don’t see jon wanting to be called aegon targaryen or jon stark. that’s so bananas to me. he’s a snow. that’s who he’s always been and that’s who he’ll continue to be and i thiiiiiink it should be the same thing with gendry?? 

but beyond that, i don’t get gendry embracing robert as a father because lol robert was a shitty person?? that’s one of the things (ONE OF THE MANY THINGS) that threw me about s7 was him introducing himself as Robert’s son. 

it was like you ain’t never met that man and being his bio son has gotten you into so much shit over the years lol i would NEVER want anyone to know Robert was my father if i was Gendry. 

not unless he was pressing his claim to the throne anyways. 

[coupsdecoeurs-blog]

BTS : An Ode to those “Go too far shippers”

Note to self* : Things I'd like to say to BTS "go-too-far shippers" (the rest of you, you're doing absolutely nothing wrong and YOU WILL know reading me that you're not from that disgusting bunch, there will be no doubts, don't worry ! Innocent fantasy is harmless. THAT is not) :

 Here's a list of what you have to be doing to be considered a "Go-too-far shipper" :

 - FORGETTING that BTS members are REAL HUMAN PEOPLE BEING  and not characters from a TV Show or a book or a fudging YAOI. Actually, I'm a hundred percent SURE that you're not new to that kind of fanatism. Let me make a wild guess here : Marvel Universe ? Sherlock ? Supernatural ? Shadowhunters ? Yeaaaaah you know who you are.

- Loosing your precious time editing super long videos to analyse and prove without-a-doubt-omg-you're-so-smart-and-insightful-you-must-be-an-INFJ that your ship is the realest of all ships. It's a freaking Zodiac Boat, it's sailing so fast ! You guys... are loosing sleep over some 1 second footage slowed to the infinite and beyond of member n°7's left eye twitching (but be careful, if you blink, you'll miss it !) when member n°5 looked in his general direction. That proves it right ! I'm telling you ! But... but what is that ? Another shipper used the EXACT same footage to prove that member n°5 is actually doing this to make member n°6 jealous ! Look look ! N°6's fingers moved... slightly when that happened.

You should actually try to watch yourselves on camera. You'd be shipping yourselves with your father.

Plus, this is so creepy guys, watching them for hours, trying to decypher their micro expressions, looking for a sign, omitting what you don't want to see because it's convenient. But you know what ? BTS members get itchy, think about the weather, are sensitive to noise, their crew facing them during interviews, making gestures to tell them "we're running out of time", they have food between their teeth, they get BORED because they don't understand what's being said during english interviews... a thousand stimuli that would justify their eyes twitching better than your theories ever could.

- Actually SENDING the links of your shipping videos, or even worse : pornographic fanart TO BTS via Twitter or else ! You know they are active on social media, your know they go to YouTube, Twitter, Instagram... Do you ever ask yourselves : "Did I go too far with this fanart of member n°6 and member n°7 doing anal ?" And then you put it ON THE FREAKING INTERNET !

Would you like it if someone draw you and one of your friend that you like ONLY as a friend because he is not your type (aka he is not a member of Bangtan) together doing graphic sexual stuff.  These 7 men grew up together, are living together, are really close... Why on Earth would they want to see a drawing of themselves in a sexual situation with one of their bandmates. Why ? Think about it, try to have EMPATHY for once (you know, that thing you all think you have tons of), put yourself in their shoes, and tell me you wouldn't be bothered to come across such drawings of yourselves and... let's say your brother ? Your father ? Your sister ? Your best friend ? Your co-worker ? And on top of that, on your Twitter feed, for everyone to see. Wouldn't that be embarrassing ? No of course, BTS would be admiring the likeness, the finess of the details and the liveliness of the art. They are not human after all.

                                                 They're Idols !

- Linking EVERYTHING they do to your ship.

               Do you think they are THAT single minded ?

That the only thing in their mind at all time is their "boyfriend/bandmate/that-guy-they-spend-their-lives-with-because-it's-their-job" ? Just to be clear... when you are in love (if you've ever been), do you stop LIVING when the object of your affection is not on your mind ? Is it always ? Do you forget your other hobbies ? Like, if all of you fall in love at the same time, will you stop editing those hour long creepy videos ? PLease, let me know, I know one or two dating app that would make tumblr and Youtube a better place !

BTS youngest member is 21 YEARS OLD. None of them is a prepubescent teenager with raging hormones, with no self control and with only making his "boyfriend" jealous as his goal for the day. Yikes ! Let's not forget they are Kpop idols, which mean they are hightly trained (conditioned ?) to control themselves, their emotions etc. to FOCUS on their job. And besides, do you really, trully believe they have nothing better to do during promotion ? Because, let's face it guys (and I know you'll not like this but brace yourselves) : BTS are ALWAYS doing promotion. They are never truly natural. I'm not saying they are not genuine, I love them as much as you do, and I'm respecting them as mu... wait. MORE than you do, because I'm not actively trying to shove a relationship in their faces while they are working their asses off all day long to offer me quality content, music, MV's, while also trying to live their lives.

   Maybe that face twitching was sadness. But that doesn't mean it's because they fought with bae this morning.

- Making EVERYTHING sexual. That's it. This is the WOOOORST thing you do.

Exemple I : "Oh lord ! Member n°5 licked his lips. Totally obvious. He was thinking about member n°7, sending him signals. They are totally doing it tonight *insert the giggle of a pervert*

Exemple II : "Hhh ! Member n°2 gulped while looking at n°1. He is so thirsty today !"

Exemple III: " Wow ! N°5's hand is on n°3's shoulder. So erotic. He is actually so subtle, but they know eachother so well. N°3's in for it backstage !"

Exemple IV : "N°4 looked at n°6's lips ! I saw him ! It means he wants to kiss him ! I read it on an article titled "How to know if he's into you" from a... scientific magazine. About body language."

Exemple V : "His legs ACTUALLY twitched, he is such a hoe ! I'm sure he has a boner !" (Like guys, you think I'm exaggerating ? Think again.)

...AAAAaaand sceene.

Once again, try paying attention to every little move your body make during the day. Every time you lick your lips, every time you sigh. Every time your eyes land on a "so called" inappropriate place of your interlocutor's body (yeah ! I know you've been watching your history teacher's ass, you hoe ! Thirsty much ?).

      Apply the same logic you do watching BTS members interact, and you'll be thrilled to know that you're sexually                   attracted to your dog. Congratulations !

 - Calling them "hoes", "thirsty"... this is plain insulting. Why, just... why ? I have nothing more to say.

 - Insulting and criticizing shippers that have a different OTP than you. Like, being verbally violent sometimes ... over a-freaking-fantasy of a couple that only exists in your sick mind ! LOOK AT YOURSELVES ! Look in a mirror !

                                 You're the same ! All of you !

Why not put your microscopic differences aside, and celebrate what you have in common : CREEPINESS ! You are all so tolerent, accepting differences, bla blah blah... let's not break our own words and stick to your script, shall we ? Some other BTS fan is creepy, but not exactly creepy-like-you ? Let them be creepy their own way ! Your OTP is [57] ? Theirs is [58] ? Not a problem ! At the end of the day, it's all in your head ;)

- Talking about things you know nothing about, or very little. I've mentionned this earlier.

Are you Korean ? Do you have a Ph.D in Korean culture ? No ? 

So please, stop talking about such things as "the use of honorifics", "skinship", "the way Korean think about same sex relationships", "compliments between males", "fan service"...

Like, seriously you hate on this heteronormative society that we live in, but you are interpreting every single thing BTS does the wame way you actively despise, ho-so-western of you : "They graze eachother's hands, they're gay ! Proof ! They call eachother handsome : Gay ! Physical affection : Gay ! Impressed by a muscular body ? Gay ! You trully are a product of this toxic society you despise. And btw, if member n°5 does a peace sign and tounge to someone (*cough* a fangirl in the audience *cough*) during a choreography, does that mean... that his boyfriend has in fact a vagina, and that he was doing it for him to excite him in secret code ? No ? Do I hear "fan service" ? I thiiiiiink soooo... But wait, does that mean... That in one way or the other, your simple logic doesn't apply to every situation ? (If you are interested to know, one of BTS members actually did what I've just depicted during a choreography on stage. One of my favorite fancams EVER.)

Anyway : You're not defending any minority behaving like that. You're just adding fuel to the fire. Am I insulting you yet ?

Do you have psychic abilities ? Are you Dr. Cal Lightman from Lie to Me ? No ? So please, stop making assumptions about one facial expression or the involuntary twitching of leg muscles.

Are you a pervert ? Are you dangerously-obsessive-but-lying-to-yourself-by-telling-you-this-is-romantic ? Are you living by proxy ? Are you so focused on the sex life of 7 men - that would find that extremely horrible if they knew you btw - you completely forget to live your own life and experience things ? Yes ? Oh.

                                                        Oops!

 Let's recapitulate :

- Forgetting that they are real people, and not fictional characters but treating them as such, because hey ! They're famous, they must WANT the attention.

- Editing creepy videos, and actually believing you're raising awareness with your borderline psychic skills at decoding body language. Seriously, you're so sensitive, I'm amazed you're able to have friends, because you see everything : that is your curse.

- Thinking every single member of Bangtan is a single-minded teenage boy in love, incapable of controlling his impulses. Of course he'll waste his time during an interview to try and make his boyfriend jealous. How fun ! Making the person you love jealous. Haha. So intelligent and useful. Just like in that Tv Show you love. You know, the one with the toxic relationships and immature characters !

- Sending fanart to BTS. They're probably used to it, so why not taking your chances and trying to get their attention ! They might even like the picture of themselves giving a BJ to their bro. Aegyooooo !

- Making everything sexual. Not something unhealthy to do. Not at all. Again, so fun !

- Calling the artists you love cute names such as "hoe". Adorable.

- Discriminating shippers that aren't sharing your OTP. You're a pot. They're a kettle. But nobody's black, oh god no !

- Using Google to validate your theories, be it for body language or Korean culture. Everybody reacts the same way to the same things, true fact !

Anyway, that's all for today ! Please feel free to comment, and tell me how much you think I'm right, that you too have been aggravated by those "Go-too-far shippers". That you haven't been fast enough either to buy a ticket to the concert in your country, so you would love it if you could go on tumblr to find new pictures of Kim Namjoon, Kim Seokjin, Min Yoongi, Jung Hoseok, Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung and Jeon Jungkook because you love them all (ALL 7 of them, thank you) but without accidently reading a post about "n°6 and n°7 sitting in a tree. F-U-C-K-I-N-G". If you are tired, like me, please share this post and comment below ! Even I you know, just like I know, that it wll not whange annyhing. But Damn if it felt good writing it !

Thank  you !

[swampsail]

I have been panicking lately about paying next month’s rent, hahahahaha

even though I have gotten a much needed second job, first job whipping the rug out from under me has really fucked me over. Needing to take Lyft or Uber to get to the new job on the opposite side of town is really hurting my bank account

I have $165 in my account right now, and THAT’S ALL. Soon I’m going to need to spend $50 on my phone bill, and about $30 or so on my water bill, and then I’m going to need to buy tampons because GREAt it’s almost period time (at least $7) and cat food (another $20)

That doesn’t leave me much for groceries or Lyft. If I want to save money by not taking Lyft, I will need to ride the bus instead, which I can do, but it will take me at least 45 mins to get to work. Which is fine I guess, except that I’d need to catch the very first bus, which comes at 6:15 am, which means I’d need to be up by 5am at the absolute latest. And this scenario ONLY works if I need to be at the new job by 8am. If I need to be there at 7am, I am Fucked unless I take lyft.

these ride apps, however, are massively flawed in that (at least in athens) the drivers are really biased about where is best to make pickups at. I live on the east side of town. There can be 9-12 drivers out on any given morning, and they are ALL downtown, 15 mins away. I can be pinging for a ride for upwards for 45 minutes and not a single person will take it. TWICE now I’ve scheduled a ride a full day in advance, and NO ONE has taken it, despite plenty of drivers being out. I was late on my SECOND DAY of new job because not a single one of those assholes would pick up my ping.

The thing is, I wasn’t in a very comfortable spot to begin with... but I was doing okay for what I was working with. Moving set my financial situation back pretty far, but I was starting to gain some traction again and I had my bills, rent, food all figured out based around what I was making with 23-25 hours a week. Because those hours aren’t so bad when you’re making $10 an hour. It was OKAY for the most part. Not ideal. But okay. I felt kind of confident

And then my bosses took my hours away. Not because I was fucking up. Because they wanted to save money. The college kids were out of town and the parking deck was slow, so they cut all day shift hours.  I don’t have a car right now, so I can’t pick up any night shift hours. I’m working at this job maybe 17 hours a week, only sat-sun.  My bosses KNOW I just moved, they KNOW I don’t have a car and can’t afford another one. They KNOW I’m struggling. I’m struggling enough that one of my coworkers brought me 3 crates of canned food from a food bank. I’m in a situation where I’m gladly taking handouts from people, and my bosses STILL said “well we’re cutting out day shift” These bastards could more than afford to keep their employees working during the SINGLE FUCKING MONTH the college students are gone. This parking company? It makes well over 500k a year. they are not hurting for money

you know who’s hurting for money?

ME. I AM.

So... now I have a second job, which is VERY GOOD. I’m mostly relieved. Getting there is going to be a huge hassle, but it’s the only place that ever even got back to me, and I’m in a spot now where I have to take what I can get, even if it’s far away, even if it’s less pay hourly than the first job.

and, of course, AS SOON as the new job started training me, not only did I get a call from a job closer to home, but my boss goes “Oh, by the way we’re bringing day shift back now that the students are coming in again”  Despite wanting to TEAR HIS GODDAMN FACE OFF, I very politely told him that I was still only available on the weekends, and that I was going to devote more of my time to the job that is actually going to remain consistent and, you know, HELP ME PAY MY RENT. I’m sure that without me there to work day shift it’s going to be a pretty big inconvenience for you, but like... That’s not my problem. That’s your problem. Not being able to pay my rent because you’re all greedy bastards happens to be a pretty damn big inconvenience as well, and you didn’t seem to bothered by MY situation, so I don’t see why I should give a singular fuck about YOU feeling “inconvenienced” by needed to rework the schedule.  I’ve been working there 5 years, I have covered for literally everyone who’s called in. I have taken extra hours, I have worked late, I have fixed shit when the managers don’t bother coming in to do their jobs. I have gone above and beyond what’s in my job description without so much as a thank you. If yall wanted me to be available, maybe you should have treated me better. As it stands, I don’t fucking CARE if you’re gonna have day shift issues without me there to cover for you and every other fuckup that can’t do their jobs properly. 8)

My boss’s reaction to knowing what a struggle this has been for me, and how frustrated I am?  He fucking SHRUGS and gestures towards his boss’s office and goes “well you know how it is” No, I don’t. Because you and your boss can afford a house. You can afford food, and heath care, and fun things you don’t need. You can afford to go scuba diving off the reef, you can afford a boat, vacations, A CAR to get you where you need to be. You can afford new shoes and new clothes and a professionally done hair cut, and whatever the fuck else you want. 

I, on the other hand, can’t afford ANY OF THAT. Because YOU CUT MY FUCKING HOURS.  You have the gall to come up to me and tell me about the new video game set you bought for your kid, while I’m eating cold beef ravioli out a can I got from the food bank, with a plastic spoon I had to get from some fast food place. I’m not eating that shit because I enjoy it. I’m eating it because it was free, and you can’t even be assed to provide your employees with a microwave in the workplace, even though you have them working 8-10 hour shifts. Excuse the actual fuck outta you.

but well. *SHRUG* You know how it is

GO. FUCK. YOURSELF.

Anyway, now I have $165 and that’s all. The one saving grace I have this month is that August has three pay periods for the first job crammed into it, and I thiiiiiink there will also be enough time to get my first paycheck from the second job. So if I’m very lucky, I’ll be getting 3 checks before I have to pay rent on the 1st of september. I will still need to talk to my landlady though, to explain to her that I might not be able to pay her on time. Which is a great feeling. This is great. If anyone is wondering why I don’t bother going into first job until 11 when I’ve been scheduled for 10, this right here is the exact reason. Because I need a little bit of extra free time in the morning to fucking cry and convince myself that I still need the money enough to bother showing up at all

[funkymeihem-fiction]

Meihem Sleepover - (NSFW)

The wind was howling outside her tent, although the snows had not yet started. But she almost preferred the snow. It was soft and clean and could be manipulated into barriers and walls to shield her and her friends from the the storm. But here on the steppes, there was nothing but rock; bare and gray and cold rock, scrubby and scratchy plains grass, and that awful screaming wind. The temperatures had plummeted after the sun had dropped, and the only things keeping her and the rest of the team relatively comfortable were the scattered tents and the climate control fields that shimmered around them to keep the heat in; technology fighting against nature. She wasn’t sure if the others were asleep…Or, well, Reinhardt was definitely asleep, and snoring so loud that he could be heard above the winds. Likely the others were trying to rest as well, with how late it had gotten. The only ones she knew were awake was herself and the junkers. And she knew because she could hear them in the tent next to hers, and they were fighting again. It was muffled, but she definitely heard Junkrat’s high-pitched voice snapping and snarling, and the much lower, rumbling tones of Roadhog for the few times he chose to answer. Rolling her eyes, she put on a pair of headphones and tried to block it out. The fighting continued, and she looked up a few times when there was a crashing and ripping noise, but decided it was best to remain in her own cozy tent, playing her music and looking over her notes. “Caught a kinda fever, whenever you’re around,” she sang softly, a little off-key and under her breath, “Can’t fight the way that you mess with my temperature…Uh-oh, can’t believe it-” There was a rattling ‘knock’ at her tent, the fabric denting and rustling, and a familiar “Oi, Mei?” at the door. She closed her eyes briefly, sighing before removing her music and adjusting her pajamas, going to unzip the door enough to peek out. Sure enough, Junkrat stood just inside the faint glow of the climate field, hunched a little to fit inside, holding a tattered sleeping bag. He was dressed in nothing but a pair of smiley-face print pajama pants and shivered constantly as he gave her a look that was both miffed and perhaps a little pitiful, sniffling and wiping at his nose with one arm before announcing, “I’m sleeping with you tonight.” “Excuse me?” “Gonna share a tent, yeah?” “It’s late, Jamison, go back to your own tent.” “Uh…” He gestured behind himself; there in the dark, was the ripped up and thoroughly broken and stomped-looking remains of Junkrat’s tent, strips of fabric hanging from the broken poles at odd angles, and the climate field generator was nowhere to be found. “I can’t?” She gave him a baffled look, palms up in an imploring manner. “What on earth happened?” “…I dunno.”

She sighed. “Okay…Well, you need to try and get some rest…Go sleep with Roadhog, then.” “No!” “Jamison-” “No. Me and him are havin’…a gentleman’s disagreement.” He rubbed at his jaw ruefully. “But you know me, darl. I’m the bigger man! …I mean, in a metaphorical sense of course, don’t think anyone’s actually bigger than old Roadie. But this time I’m the bigger man, and I choose not to pursue this further with him, because I don’t want to,” he insisted, refusing to look back at where Roadhog’s intact tent clicked its light off. “Besides. There’s no room in there with him, and you smell better. Think of it as an unscheduled sleepover! We can pillowfight, make mixed drinks, judge lingerie, compare tits, all that stuff what goes on at lady sleepovers.” For a moment she wasn’t sure if she should be amused or offended, but amusement won out. “You’ve never been to a real sleepover, have you?” He grinned, wiggling his brows. “I’ve seen ‘em on videos!” “I’m sure you have. All right, come on. But this is just for tonight, we’re definitely getting you a new tent tomorrow.” She rubbed a hand down her face before finally shaking her head, unzipping the tent flap the rest of the way and inviting him in. His grin widening, the junker bent his long spine and ducked down to get inside, waiting for her to move her notebooks and piles of belongings so that he could unfurl his own sleeping bag next to hers. He made a show of it, flinging the bag open and whirling about before throwing himself inside as the thick cloth settled over him, snuggling his pointed nose into his pillow. Mei sat up, leaned over to place a small kiss to his forehead, then leaned and clicked off the lantern. They lay there in the dark for less than a minute before she heard him shuffling impatiently, then the mechanical creak of him fumbling with his mechanical leg (He had insisted on sleeping with his prosthetics on more often lately, on one of his paranoid tears about ‘being ready’), and the familiar sound of him trying to adjust his pillow. She waited for it… “Oi. Mei. I can’t sleep.” With a sigh, she rolled over to face him. She’d been expecting as much. “All right, come here. But you really should try to sl-” He was already unzipping her sleeping bag in a flash, not bothering to zip it up after him as he latched onto her from behind. “You’re the best, darl. Hey, wanna kick this slumber party off right? Wanna compare our tits?” “Jamison, I swear. Go to sleep.” She rolled over and closed her eyes. But she could still feel him fidgeting, still alive with nervous energy. And truth be told, she had been up late as well and she wasn’t really that sleepy herself. Drumming her fingers once or twice, she turned her head a little, feeling his breath rustling her hair. “Besides, we don’t actually do that at sleepovers.” “Well why not? If I had a pair as ace as yours, I’d show them off to all and sundry. What d’you do instead?” He snorted in her ear. “Well we’d watch movies, order in food or eat popcorn, stay up late, talk about what had happened at school or who we had a crush on…” “Did you have a crush on me, darl?!” He squeezed her a little tighter. “I didn’t know you then, remember?” “Oooohh, right.” “You um…you weren’t even born yet, I don’t think,” she said hesitantly, before burying her face in both hands and shrinking away from him. “Oh my gosh, I keep forgetting how…the age thing…and the cryostasis…” “Nooo no no! Come on, knock off with that again.” He followed her across her sleeping bag when she retreated, arms wrapping around her once more. “You’re here with me now, having a real Junkrat style slumber party all our own. But really though, the tit comparisons, you’re sure they’re not real?” He squeezed his grip around her, walking two fingers up towards her chest in a bid to distract her. “It’s not like that! It’s a lot more boring than, um…popular media would portray?…” She squirmed a little and batted at his hands. “…Wanna try a round of it, then?” “You are absolutely silly, you know that?” “All right, let’s see.” He shuffled around behind her, and she leaned slightly as she felt him pat at his chest with one hand with a low, “Hmmm!” before he reached back around her, squeezing his arm under her side…and abruptly seized onto both her breasts through her sweatshirt, squeezing roughly. “Oh! Nope, you win!” Her cheeks reddened a little, elbowing him softly where she could reach. “Jamison!” “Hold on, let me check again,” he grunted in her ear, rolling them through the warm fabric, starting to kiss at the nape of her neck as he toyed with her ample chest, tweaking playfully with one hand. “Okay, nope, you’re still winning. I thiiiiiink…Kind of hard to tell through the sweats…” “Jamie…” Her voice had gone a little softer, a little more breathy. “Mei?…” Her head shifted just slightly atop her pillow as she ever so hesitantly arched her back up into his waiting palm. That was all the permission he needed. ***

Faster than she could even comprehend, he grasped the bottom of her sweatshirt and yanked it upward, pulling it up and over the wide span of her chest, waiting until she lifted her chin and arms so that he could shuck it off. It wasn’t entirely gentle; the impatience behind his movements was clear as he ripped it the rest of the way off her; her skin prickling into gooseflesh at the relative chill of the night air enveloped her. She almost rolled to face him, but found his hand landing firmly upon her shoulder instead, stilling her movement and holding her in place. One long, lithe muscled arm reached across her, sliding across her ribcage as the calloused tips of his fingers tickled over her side. “Mm…” He grunted into her ear again. “Never get tired of these tits…” His fingers spread apart and seized one breast, pulling her in against his bony chest as he began massaging roughly at the plush flesh. Despite his hand’s larger size, their softness still overflowed his grip as he rolled it under his palm, feeling its weight as he caressed and fondled. His first fingers scissored together blindly, eventually finding the harder, pebbled nub of pink- laughing softly into her ear in delight as he began pinching and tugging, feeling them harden further under his touch. Despite his frantic nature and tendency for shaky limbs, he’d always been good about delicate bits; whether that meant tightening the screws in a tiny divot in his latest explosive device, or manipulating the sensitive and tender little buttons on the woman beneath him. And it seemed to be working, Mei squirming and writhing quietly against him, her head bowing with a little gasp as she tightened her thighs together, rubbing to soothe the heat that was growing warmer between them. With one slow motion, he guided her to roll onto her stomach, laying flat at he came to rest atop her. For a moment she couldn’t help but tense as his weight settled, solid and heavy- yet careful not to crush her as she was pinned firmly beneath. She fit perfectly against him, pressed together in every curve, skin against skin. It was like she had been made just for him. The arc of her spine was flush to his chest, his bony hips nestling just below the swell of her rear, where they could both feel the hot bulge of his erection aching and straining through the thin fabric of her pajama pants. He was so large compared to her, stretched tall astride her as his hand slid up to tangle in the back of her hair, pulling just to the point of stinging as he pulled her chin upward. His breath was heavy against her ear and the back of her neck, trailing his lips across hear earlobe, sharp teeth scraping at her jaw, not truly kissing her. It was almost strange, him being this close without kissing her. When she tried, his grip tugged hard on her hair until she hissed, straightening out under him once more. Excitement tingled under her skin at the force of it, just enough to sting without truly hurting, that little reminder of the terrifying strength she knew he held. He was a wild creature, capable of chaos and violence; yet could also handle her with surprising delicacy, like she was a precious thing he couldn’t risk breaking. He was being careful with her, she could tell, as the warm grip of his flesh hand slid down from her hair- down, down, all the way down across the length of her body- and into the elastic of her pajamas. She lifted herself just slightly as his lithe fingers pushed insistently into the gap between her hip and belly, slipping beneath her and in between her legs. Within moments they found her slit and the inconspicuous bud of pink at its front, the pads of his fingers curling deftly as he began to stroke at the opening, slicking the tips of two digits while his thumb found the nub of her clit and began to toy in slow circles. “Yeah, you like that, darl? Heh. Don’t even need to say anything, can hear it in your breathin’.” He grunted against her ear, and grinned when she couldn’t stifle a small whimper. “Mm, just like that, make those l’il noises I like, the ones you make just for Junkrat…” She whimpered on cue as his fingers spread apart, opening her up and slipping ever further in. Her own fingers tightened into the fabric of her sleeping bag, uttering a barely audible moan as his head dipped down and rough lips found the curve of her throat, tongue tracing the vein where her blood surged with every pound of her rapidly beating heart. She bared her neck willingly to his attentions, beginning to squirm beneath him as much as his weight would allow, lifting her hips further as his fingers pressed deeper inside her, working deeper into her wet heat. She jumped a little when a low hissing growl uttered from his throat, apparently growing frustrated at the elastic of her pants, lifting off her just enough that he could impatiently pull them down, leaving them strung around her knees. But when she tried to move to help he bared his teeth and pinned her again, his weight pushing her back down, and she stayed there. “Hold still,” he whispered. When he straddled her again, there was nothing to separate them as his narrow pelvis settled comfortably between her thighs, nudging her knees a little wider and holding them in place. He seemed to ignore her little whine of desperation when he withdrew his fingers, shining wet in the dim light as he admired them- before leaning down by her ear again, letting her hear him when he slipped them into his mouth, audibly sucking them clean. He heard her gasp when he withdrew them with a little pop, and brought both hands down on either side of her, supporting him as her nudged her knees further apart. Without that annoying fabric in the way, he could really feel her now. She was nice and wet -exactly how he wanted her- and the heat between her thighs was warm and ready, waiting just for him. “J-Jamie…” Her voice was pleading. She tried moving her hips a little, unable to do more than rub herself a useless inch or two against him, panting heavily already. He lifted off her to wrap one hand around the straining girth of his cock, positioning himself at her entrance. She braced herself, feeling him press the blunt, swollen head against her opening… but he didn’t thrust forward, didn’t give her what she wanted. He pushed forward only a bit, dragging himself in circles around her soft, sensitive lips, parting them to glide the length of him back and forth within them and occasionally slipping forward into her, just an inch or two. Her moisture coated him in such a marvelous way as he rubbed and humped against her, toying with her and feeling her squirming grow more anxious. “Oh, did y’want something?” He asked. She could tell he was grinning, could hear it in his voice. What a jerk. But she did want it, and wasn’t above asking for it. “Jamie! Yes…Please, I want it…you…” Satisfied, Junkrat guided himself back into place, pushing slowly forward until the head of him vanished inside. His lanky back hunched over her, every bony vertebrae visible as he made one swift jab with his hips, hungrily sheathing himself inside, gliding through like moistened silk until he was seated fully within. The noises she made, guttural and primal and so very unlike her normal polite self-control, made all the teasing worth it. She was still pinned beneath him, unable to move her hips as he took the lead, pulling out with a shallow quickness before thrusting again, his hips slamming into the pillowed flesh of her rear. He lost no time in setting the pace, hips snapping to and fro as he rode her into the ground, her little body jolting against the thick fabric of her sleeping bag. She moaned aloud before bringing her hand to her mouth, stifling herself so she could moan again. He paused breathlessly, his hand seizing hers and dragging it from her lips before snatching the other as well, stretching both her arms up above her head and pinning her by the wrists before he continued his relentless thrusting. “Nuh-uh. Lemme hear ya…” He punctuated his words with a particularly sharp snap of his hips. “I like hearing ya.” “But, the others will h- aah!” Her soft voice lifted into a cry. “Heh, what, hear that? Or this? How about…” He ground himself into her, hitting that spot somewhere deep inside her that he knew she liked. “This? Or this?…Or, oh, right there…” She could no longer protest, her eyes rolling back as she made noises that would have shamed her more-aware self. Was she drooling? She might have been drooling a little, the side of her face smushed into the wet sleeping bag. His cock felt like it was splitting her in all the best ways, a blunt pressure in her belly that set off lights behind her vision and blurred everything around the edges. He collapsed on top of her, almost knocking the air from her lungs as his bony chest landed on her back, holding her wrists so tight that they must have been bruising; his hips pounding and smacking between the back of her thighs. “Soft!” he moaned aloud with her. “S-sooo soft…so good…” It hadn’t been long at all, but Mei could feel herself unraveling already. This was going to be quick and dirty and deep; and if she still had her wits about her, she might be blushing later when he inevitably brought it up again. She recognized her own voice somewhere in all the noises he was making, and realized she was speaking to him as she drooled and groaned against the ground, whining encouragements in slurred Mandarin, and he clearly had no idea what she was saying… and neither of them cared. “Gonna cum…Gonna fill you up, darl. Gonna cum!” He wheezed into her ear, warning her as his bony hips slammed steadily inward. She couldn’t really manage anything more than an embarrassing little ‘nneuugh’ noise, mewling aloud. She felt overheated, burning inside and out, her back slick with the sweat dripping from him, and could feel his flames threatening to engulf what little remained of her senses. His cock still relentlessly jackhammered into her, pushing until it felt like she might break in two; hitting that spot just right, over and over and over again… Just a little more…just a little more… His back stiffened and straightened, then coiled again, as his sharp teeth snapped open and came down on the side of the meat of her shoulder, biting down hard enough to make her wail. She jolted and tightened around him, squeezing and pulsing around every thick inch as he rammed forward as deep as he could go. For a moment he simply blacked out. Nothing else in the world mattered at that moment, nothing but Mei and that urge to fill her with everything he had, every last drop of cum; useless as it might have been, even if it never made her belly swell. Fill her up…Fill her up. Hot and gooey on the inside… “Yes!” He gasped into her neck, shivering from the aftershocks of his peak. His tongue lolled from his jaws, lathing and soothing his bite mark, tasting like her sweat and a drop or two of blood where one of his canines had pierced through. Whoops. Best he didn’t mention breaking the skin. She panted beneath him, limp and pliant, and he finally and reluctantly rolled off her. Cold air bathed them where they had been hot and sweaty against one another, though neither of them moved for a long while. She recovered first, pushing wisps of hair from her face as she rolled to face him, nudging his arm up and nestling in against his heaving chest. “Jamie. Are you all right?” “Y-yeah. Just…Just gimme a tick, love. Bloody hell, that was…” His grin had turned goofy and content, not bothering to wipe away the sweat still beaded on his reddened face. The air was still thick with the smell of sex and for the moment he was fine with relaxing in the afterglow. It was one of the only times ‘relaxing’ could ever really apply to someone like him. “Yeah, that was good. Best slumber party I been to in ages. Just…gimme a sec.” She traced her fingers along the side of his ribs while he caught his breath, squirming a little and making a face when she felt the familiar sensation of his seed leaking out of her, staining the sleeping bag beneath her. With a sigh, she closed her eyes, nuzzling against him and letting him rest. His breath had turned slower and more steady and his usual twitching had stopped. Smirking, she leaned up onto his chest to whisper a soft, “I’ll admit it…That was a very nice sleepover. I mean, it wasn’t really like the sleepovers I’m used to. But probably more like the ones you were imagining. But still, good. Very good. Jamie. Jamie?” He answered her with a soft snore where he had finally collapsed asleep.

[abadpoetwithdreams]

Nirvana in Fire Episode 7 Reaction

TA-DA, I HAVE RETURNED! I know, I know, it’s been such a long time, y’all thought I was dead, but nope! I’m just back with a different face and a different name and a quest to make your life miserable aka this is the episode with That Househunting Scene. Lord have mercy on my feels.

Before we get started, I apologize in advance because this is going to be a bit more rushed than previous recaps. I’ve been so busy during these last few months of the year, it has made it very difficult to find any time where I can just sit and watch NiF while also taking notes/writing. I can’t watch it while I do other things, like I tend to do with most dramas I watch; NiF requires full attention and especially when one is writing a reaction/recap post! So for the sake of my sanity (because I AM DYING TO KEEP WATCHING THIS HORRIBLE WONDERFUL MASTERPIECE) I am going to try to go a little faster through the next few episodes, at least up to where I left off when I decided to go back and write these reactions for y’all (which I thiiiiiink was around episode 16?), and then since I’ll be caught up to uncharted territory I’ll get more in-depth again and hopefully my life will be less crazily busy, too!

Okay, so without further ado: EPISODE SEVEN.

Where were we? Oh yeah, Xia Dong was being amazing and interrogating a would-be assassin with the best sort of combination of cold callousness and sadistic pleasure. She’s terrifying, but also so very cool. The Good Boys are standing by watching with varying degrees of discomfort at the torture happening in front of them, but while they seem to believe the bombshell dropped at the end of last episode—that Prince Yu is the one who sent the assassins—Xia Dong is totally unimpressed by the lie. Ha, she says, I already lost Yu’s men ages ago. Try again, she sneers. Let me take a moment to say that taking this time away from the show has given me a newly recharged appreciation for just how beautiful Jing Rui is, especially in that particular shade of royal blue. It’s so nice.

The assassin looks like he actually might tell the truth this time, because Xia Dong is That Scary, but suddenly—arrows, arrows everywhere! Our trio have blessedly quick reflexes and reaction time and fling themselves into various twirls and flips to escape the arrows, but the assassin is not so lucky. When the arrows stop flying and Xia Dong returns to her captive she discovers an arrow is lodged neatly in his voicebox. Nope, that’s not suspicious at ALL. Xia Dong swears in frustration and Yu Jin is briefly brave long enough to say she shouldn’t swear (but then when she turns that glare on him he just sort of melts into this apologetic puddle of terror that hastily hides behind poor Jing Rui, and have I mentioned that I love these boys? It’s been like two months since my last episode watch and that love has not lessened). Xia Dong looks like she’s seriously considering at least slapping Yu Jin, but she decides to let his impertinence slide and all three return to the capitol.

Now we cut to Ni Huang’s lil brother, Mu I remember his name being? He’s wearing a most magnificent red outfit, I can’t stop noticing all the costumes this episode, I guess it’s been so long I was having withdrawals or something. THEY’RE SO PRETTY. He’s arrived at the Marquis’ place but when the door guard tells him to wait, he just brushes that off with Nah, I’m just here to see Su! Mu is so refreshingly informal in all his dealings, I think it’s a combination of showing how very young and sort of callow he is but also there’s that divide again between the straightforward and honorable nature of those from the martial world and the skeevy snakeishness of those involved in politics. He’s just so open, and cheerful when he isn’t breaking Sima Lei’s legs. I guess he was cheerful about doing that too, though, in a sense. Also, his expressions are just the cutest. The Marquis’ wife comes out to greet him, and he complains that she calls him young but also thanks her for saving Ni Huang. She doesn’t seem to want to dwell on that and asks him why he’s visiting and he repeats he just wants to see Su—To show Su some houses, in fact. The Princess Supreme looks oddly sad about this? Is it just because she liked having an ally she could trust around the place, or what?

When Mu does meet with Mei Chang Su, Su tells him that he isn’t really in a hurry to move out. Fei Liu is very intently arranging flowers while the other two talk, which is very cute. Mu insists, and then makes the mistake of grabbing Su by the wrist and starting to drag him along, all the while nattering about this househunting project. Immediately, Fei Liu’s hackles are raised and he launches at poor Mu, lifting him OFF THE GROUND AND OVER HIS HEAD WITH ONE HAND and just welcome back into my life, Fei Liu. And I hope the following exchange is as funny in the actual dialogue as it is in subs, but in the sub at least Su tells Fei Liu to “put him down quickly” and Fei Liu immediately gets ready to seemingly slam Mu into the ground, so Su has to immediately follow up with “put him down slowly,” which, ahaha. Fei Liu is grumpy, but Mu’s life is thus saved and he is not daunted at all, instead just being very impressed. To avoid further drama, Su agrees to look at some houses.

In the city streets, Xia Dong parts ways with the Boys. Jing Rui really tries hard to stay with her, because he’s so worried for her safety, bless him. Yu Jin intervenes and convinces his friend to come away, probably partially because he’s happy for an excuse to get away from Xia Dong, but based on the acting I’d say he’s also being his usual perceptive self and realizes that she wants them to leave her for a Reason. The Reason is that she’s being followed. I don’t recognize the face of the guy following her? I am guessing he is an Actual Character though, otherwise the camera wouldn’t have lingered so long.

Meanwhile, Prince Yu is breaking pottery because he’s throwing a tantrum. He’s finally found out that Xie Yu, aka the Marquis, is playing both sides of the political game, pretending to support only Yu while also secretly helping the Crown Prince. He’s in trouble.

Back to Mei Chang Su, he’s being led by a Mu who is so enthusiastic about the househunting, he’s actually bouncing up and down. HE’S SO CUTE. PROTECT HIM. His enthusiasm is explained when they turn a corner and: dun dun duuuuun there’s Ni Huang, looking stunning as usual. Oh, you clever boy, Mu. Look at him smiling at his ship. Ni Huang has a total “gotcha” face on, and Su’s expression just says “oh nooooo.” Outplayed by a kid, wow, Su.

In the next scene Mu has mysteriously vanished and our favourite doomed ship is walking together. She tries to thank him for saving her, he says it was his mistake that put her in danger to begin with, she counters that no man is infallible, and you can totally tell he’s thinking BUT I’M SUPPOSED TO BE. He warns her not to trust him, a man she has only met a few times, but she says she feels like she’s known him a long time and trusts he would never harm her intentionally. AHA. NI HUANG IS MAKING HER MOVE. He tries to jokingly put her off by saying wow he wishes other people felt that way, and immediately she’s like “Jing Yan is mad at you, isn’t he” which, LOL. She basically says Oh, you know how Jing is, he can’t keep his mouth shut, just ignore him, and Su neatly counters with “How could I know what Jing is like?” He walks away looking like a man who just scored a point, and yep, she’s totally trying to trap him. It’s a battle of minds, and ugh they’re so perfect for each other! Her smile and then slow thoughtful look when he makes that dodge, aaaahh.

We cut back to the Emperor where he’s all pissy because Ni Huang apparently effortlessly defeated all her suitors, so that whole subplot just died a quiet offscreen death, lol. Then she handed in a report to state her wrongdoing, he complains to his eunuch buddy, and ahahaha I love Ni Huang. The Emperor says that even though Ni Huang managed to avoid marriage yet again, she cannot be allowed to leave the capitol to go back to the battlefield like he’s let her before.

Ni Huang is still showing Su around a variety of houses. They look so cute walking togetherrrrr. But also he’s wearing his furs so they barely even cover his shoulders, and while that’s a nice aesthetic, that can’t really be helping against the cold at all. MCS, staaaahp. He tries to tell her he doesn’t want to bother her with this househunting nonsense, but she insists it’s no trouble and then suggests he go a certain way that he CLEARLY does not want to go. Immediately I was like oh nooooooo because I could just tell something awful was coming. Ni Huang, what have you done. They stare at each other for a long, long while, and it’s like she’s daring him to refuse, because that will prove his identity, and he knows that, but also he doesn’t wanna but in the end of course he has to follow her. He walks like he’s being led to the gallows or some similarly deadly place. And then she stops and behind her is an obviously huge but abandoned house, and I started screaming inside because I knew it I knew it Ni Huang whyyyyyyy why would you do this to us

Do you know what this place is? She asks. No, Su replies, carefully not looking at it. Ugh, my poor boy. She tells him this particular manor belonged to the Commander of the Blaze Army. I used to play here very often as a child, she tells him (My aside: NOOOOOOOOOOO), and then she invites him on a stroll inside its ruins. Oh, she’s being so mean. And he deserves it, for what he’s doing to her, but still. Mean. And she is watching him like a hawk.

After a beat Su manages to counter that surely they can’t just casually walk inside if it’s the former residence of traitors? Ni Huang tells him that it’s true this house should have technically been seized by the Emperor and so belongs to him, but the Emperor has ignored it all these years. He never did anything to it. He seems to be waiting, she says, her gaze lingering over those sad, empty walls. Perhaps one day it will just disappear.

No, I’m not crying. Or if I am, it’s because That Music is back and it’s not fair, I am powerless against That Music. It will forever be the Grandma Scene music to me, aka the moment this show revealed itself as the emotional hell it truly is.

And the double meaning of this entire conversation is just SO. GOOD:

MCS: Since it’s been dilapidated for years there probably isn’t any trace of its past splendor left. Why would Your Highness insist on reminding yourself of the past?

Ni Huang: People left. The house is empty. Things changed with the passing of the years. But it doesn’t mean that everything has vanished. (Turns to face MCS, and then:) Whatever remains still lingers. Some people, some matters, still stay deep in one’s mind. Time will not wipe away their traces.

MCS (looking like he’s gonna cry, let’s be real): Your Highness values friendship and loyalty greatly. However, this case still weighs heavily on the Imperial Court. It still remains in the limelight. I advise Your Highness not to linger around this place much longer.

And I’m both gleeful and utterly devastated about how GOOD this whole scene is, my gosh. Because yeah, suuuuuuure they’re just talking about the house. They aren’t talking about Lin Shu at ALLLLLLLL.

(Gah, I love this show.)

Ni Huang looks devastated. This whole conversation is so close to the surface, to them speaking plainly to each other, and yet she’s so stymied by how he refuses to reveal himself! You can tell she was hoping so, so much to finally get her answer here, and yet he’s still refusing to give her that answer she wants, the one she knows deep down is the truth. In response to his advice she walks up those old, broken steps, and looks DOWN on him (eeeeee this showwww), now plainly asking him to take a look inside.

(He doesn’t want to look inside, Ni Huang. He doesn’t want to see Lin Shu again, not when he has to be Mei Chang Su. He can’t want to take that look with you. Hi, I’m dead.)

Still refusing to look at the house, staring at the ground, he refuses once more, bows, and walks away. That blasted music, that glorious music, is still going because this show has no pity. AND THEN HE STARTS CRYING AND I’M LIKE NI HUANG DON’T JUST STAND THERE RUN AND CATCH UP AND STARE HIM IN THE FACE like it’d ruin the moment but you’d get your answers, dangitttt

And we flashback to him falling off that cliff again and then it cuts to a shot of Su walking away and in the foreground is a cobweb covering his image and ooh, artsy.

Next scene is Jing Rui and his brother (Xie Bi, or something like that? Augh, it’s been so long, I’m probably getting a lot of side character’s names wrong) and Jing Rui is trying to cheer his brother up because he’s just nice like that. Arguably the nicest. His brother is upset because after two years of his father telling him to work for Prince Yu, his father’s now told him to stop helping Yu because he actually supports the Crown Prince. He feels very used and unhappy. Jing Rui, meanwhile, is absolutely rattled, even horrorstruck. He thought his dad wasn’t into politics, remember? Yeah, so much for that. I have the horrible sinking feeling it’s just going to get worse for him from here.

Back at the Snow Cottage, Fei Liu is building a fire for his Su and it’s very adorable. I want so many more scenes of just these two, especially after reading the novel chapters that I did before I started venturing into spoiler territory and stopped (they’re so huggy in the novel, bless them). Su tells Fei Liu that he’s getting all this real estate mail, basically, and doesn’t that show that there are still nice people in the capitol? NOT AT ALL, says Fei Liu, and Su just smirks. These two. I love them. Su is the worst role model.

Su tells Fei Liu to take a look at a house called the Orchid Garden and if Fei Liu likes it, Su will buy it. The power this kid has. Suddenly Fei Liu senses someone and flies outside where he sees Xia Dong standing there! Fei Liu being Fei Liu and Xia Dong being Xia Dong, they immediately have a spectacular fight. Su shows up to stop it and shows that he knows Xia Dong is injured, and he asks what she’s doing there.

Back at the palace, the Bickering Brothers are at it again. The best part is where Yu shakes his finger in the Crown Prince’s face and the Crown Prince makes this angry little squeaky sound and bats it away, ahahahaha. These actors are superb, as I keep saying (because they keep impressing me in scene after scene). Yu tries to be like Hey, why aren’t you secluded and studying like you’re supposed to be doing, since you’re being punished for Ni Huang and all, but the Crown Prince retorts that he wasn’t banned from court affairs, and are you implying you want me out of court for good???? SHUT UP, says the Emperor. He has less and less patience with each scene they share, lol. He tells them he knows they are squabbling because they each want to judge over the Duke of Qing’s case. Remember him? Yeah. The Emperor tells them he can’t pick either of them because Yu of course would let the Duke get away with any crime (the Duke is his powerful ally, remember!) and the Crown Prince would use any excuse to destroy the Duke’s entire family and thereby eliminate a powerful foe. “Father”, they both try, and SHUT UP, he cuts them off. Man, I’m almost liking the Emperor again.

Xia Dong meanwhile is in audience with Su. She tells him she’s just been curious about him, as he’s the talk of the town and seemingly has many faces. She’s worried. What about? Ni Huang.

(Augh, says Su’s face, Why is it always Ni Huang)

Why on earth are you worried about Ni Huang? She’s a powerful military leader and all, he says. Xia Dong says the rumor is Ni Huang defied the Emperor and refused marriage because of Mei Chang Su. OHO IS THAT THE RUMOR? Nice. Su says they’re just friends, he’s not trying to court Ni Huang. Xia Dong is not appeased, and directly asks: Does he only want friendship? Su thinks a moment, then says well, he has to admit Ni Huang is radiant (oh, you) and of course he can’t help but admire her, but also he’s sick, he’s not long for the world, he has deliberately remained unmarried so as not to burden anyone.

Her Highness has always been quite clear-minded, he says. She’s like a light breeze and a bright moon. Who would be good enough for her if not a man of great passion and outstanding ambition?

Uh, Mei Chang Su? Your Lin Shu is showing again. Xia Dong looks a little taken aback.

The Emperor is complaining to his eunuch friend again but this time our mustached fave General Meng is there too! Yay! The Emperor is angry that his sons continue to squabble so immaturely even though the Duke of Qing’s case is a matter of national importance. Meng reminds him that be that as it may, a prince still needs to be in charge of any investigation and trial. Hmmmmmmm, I sense Su’s hand in this …

Yep, the Emperor suddenly brightens. Oh yeah, he says, a prince does have to preside over the case but it doesn’t have to be one of those two! Isn’t Jing Yan still around? He’s so stubborn, he’d be perfect! Cool, let’s put Jing in charge! He walks off feeling delighted with himself. I am once again left in awe of Su and his manipulation skills. I’m assuming this is the first step of a long game to make Jing gain favor in the palace.

Xia Dong meanwhile brings up the time Su helped Ni Huang defeat those enemies a few years back. She asks why he bothered since his land wasn’t particularly nearby? He gets all mad and offended that she apparently feels the need to question why he would help defend his country, and she backs off. I can’t decide how much of that anger was just show; I think that he really was upset by that implication. Xia Dong leaves with a good opinion of Su, which is good because if I remember aright she hates Jing for his support for Lin Shu’s family, so if she knew who Su really was? Yeahhhhh, big trouble would follow. Also she’s a master spy, so way to dodge a bullet there, Su. For now, anyway.

Outside, the Marquis is hiding and spying himself, but Xia Dong calls him out and his awkward popping out from behind that doorframe was very funny. She basically tells him she knows all about his political gaming and how he set up the whole Duke of Qing thing but also she is not going to tell on him. She says she will keep his secret because her husband, Nie Feng, died during that Blaze Army rebellion and it was the Marqius who brought “half his corpse” home to her. Thus, she feels like she owes him. Oh, eww. Also we know Lin Shu’s dad was NOT a traitor and it was all a set up, so what are the odds that the Marquis was also the one who was responsible for turning her husband into half a corpse? Pretty freaking high, I’d say.

She seems angered that the Marquis has clearly forgotten that massive favor he did her, so she tells him in keeping his secret she considers her debt paid and they are now even. Then she just walks off, cool as you like, leaving behind a very worried-looking Marquis.

Cut to: Mei Chang Su, back in his inefficient furs and out on the town with the Good Boys! Actually they’re in the courtyard of a horrible old dump of a house. For a second I was like wait did he buy his family’s old house because surely the Emperor would put a stop to that? But no, it seems like this is the Orchid Garden place he mentioned to Fei Liu earlier. Yu Jin is hilariously disapproving, hands on hips and everything, and chides Su for being a fool for buying the place without seeing it first. Su says Fei Liu liked it, though! Cue Fei Liu literally flying overhead, looking very pleased with himself. Yu Jin is not impressed. Su indulges in a little trollface.

The three walk through the manor together, and Yu Jin starts being like, well, the layout is okay I guess, we can fix it up into a livable place I guess, but yeah it does look amazingly overgrown. But then Yu Jin suddenly disappears into the ground, so apparently there’s big ol’ holes in the property, too? What are you playing at, Mei Chang Su.

Jing Rui dashes over to help his friend, and pulls him out of what is actually a dried up well. Yu Jin comments that it’s lucky he’s so skilled and so was able to catch onto the lip of the well to avoid falling all the way in, and Jing Rui agrees. If it had been Su, he says, the poor strategist would have fallen all the way to the bottom. Which, ouch. I mean, that might be true, I don’t know if Su’s frailty is all 100% genuine (I’d say it’s at least 70% genuine) or if he still has the sort of reflexes a warrior would, but obviously we are supposed to assume that in his happy youth before all the bad stuff happened he would have had no problem with avoiding a fall down a dry well. Anyway, the boys clown a bit and Fei Liu shows up. Yu Jin complains that the manor is creepy and suggests they leave. As they walk, however, Yu Jin realizes that he’s missing some pendant or something that belonged to his grandfather and is really important to him. Could it have fallen down the well? Su asks innocently. Instantly I’m convinced Su snuck it off of Yu Jin and threw it in the well himself, lol. They go back to look.

Then we cut to the Red Sleeves Brothel? A girl named Gong Yu is at a window. An old man doesn’t want her at the window. His name is Shisan? Okay. She was apparently watching Qin Bao Ruo, who I remember being the name of Yu’s strategist. Said strategist is off to the palace again, apparently—he’s got a lot of problems that need a sound strategical approach right now. Gong Yu says she’s worried about Su. Shisan says not to worry, as this was all foreseen by Su. Ok, so they are in on Su’s plans, that’s interesting. Why do they know, what’s their deal.

Gong Yu wants to know if she can visit Su in the capitol. Shisan says he sent word to Su asking for permission, and Su says no, she is not to visit. She seems a little stalkerish, and I want her to back off.

Back at Su’s horrible new house, the boys are being adorable again and I love their friendship so much, I love how much Yu Jin gets Jing Rui to lighten up. Jing Rui elects to search the bottom of the well for Yu Jin’s pendant, because he is a Best Friend. And I KNOW this is just a show but it still causes me physical pain to watch him ruin those gorgeous clothes in that mud, lol

Anyway they lower Jing Rui down on a rope and Su watches looking very worried or intent at least and that’s not a great sign. What’s he playing at. This is a rare chance for you to please me, Yu Jin calls down, So try harder! Jing Rui replies with a threat to smear mud all over his face once he’s back up, these bros. Jing Rui finds the token, is all ready to leave, but then he steps on something that cracks and when he looks down:

It’s a human skull.

I was sooooooo not expecting that. Su totally was though, and I want to be mad at him for putting Jing Rui through that but also like imagine if Jing Rui hadn’t noticed while he was down there, what would Su have done? Stolen Jing Rui’s hair pin and tossed down and been like whoops, you must have lost it when you were looking for Yu Jin’s thing?

Jing Rui is horrified, but he refuses to leave until he investigates further, and yeah: THERE’S MORE SKULLS. LOTS MORE. Well, I guess we have our next chapter of the story. From a marriage tournament to a serial killer well. That’s not a great sign of where this show is taking us, lol

Cut to the Crown Prince, he’s asking the Marquis whether or not he thinks Jing could be persuaded to be lenient on the Duke since he owes Yu for that whole Ni Huang thing. The Marquis says nah, Jing isn’t so easily swayed, you’re fine. Then he also says, speaking of the Ni Huang debacle, he’s heard who was responsible for the whole set up and how things went so badly for the Crown Prince. It wasn’t Prince Yu: It was Mei Chang Su.

Well, that’s not a positive development.

Cut to a shot of seemingly endless skeletons lying unearthed beside the well, just to really drive home this ominous turn. All these officials, who I guess are the equivalent of homicide detectives, lol, are busy at the well. Yu Jin asks one how many skeletons have been found, and the guy says seven so far, and all are female. This has suddenly turned into CSI: Fantasy Ancient China. This is apparently the biggest and most shocking case he’s ever had. Su innocently says well, he can’t really help since this was his first visit to the property (ahaaaa so that’s why he sent Fei Liu!). He leaves to go back to the Snow Cottage.

Speaking of the Snow Cottage, the Marquis is back in his manor talking to a man who I thiiiiiink is Jing Rui’s other dad? Anyway he says the Crown Prince has ordered they kill Mei Chang Su. The guy may be a Divine Talent, but if he’s not on their side then they have to take him out of the equation. But he’s leader of the East Yangtze Alliance, protests the other guy (Zhuo, it turns out, is his name): he’s surrounded by pugilists! I can’t attack him! Yeah, I know, says the Marquis. Just find out if Fei Liu is his only bodyguard or not, and I’ll take care of the rest.

This should be a very ominous ending, but I’ve seen Fei Liu in action. I think Mei Chang Su is going to be juuuuust fine. Plus he knows the Marquis is the worst; surely has a contingency plan.

And that’s the end! I sit through the entire ending song because it’s been too long, dangit, (and also HEY THERE’S JING YAN I missed my fave this episode) and then I realize that it’s 3am and I have to be at work at 5am.

Worth it.

[strawberryjamsara]

29, oumota.

“It must be hard with your sense of direction, never being able to find your way to a decent pick up line.”

I may have included a touch of saimota in this because I have zero self control

“What the fuck did you just say to me you little asshole?!”

“What are you talking about Kaito? I didn’t say anything.” The other boy was looking up at him with innocent eyes.

“Don’t give me those lies! I know what you said!” He yelled at the little devil “What are you trying to start?”

“I just thiiiiiink, you really suck at flirting.” Kokichi smiled “I mean, I saw your little attempt with Shuichi earlier. He couldn’t even figure out what you were doing you were so dumb!”

Kaito could feel his blood reaching a boiling point. He knew that smug little shit could just tell how angry he was. He was waiting for a reaction.

“Do you live on mars?!” He screamed at the top of his lungs.

That was enough to wipe the grin off of his face “What?”

“Because you are out of this world!”

It was silent for a moment. But no more than that. Because Kokichi suddenly began to burst out in the most loud and boisterous laughter he ever heard.

“I thought you were dumb before Kaito, but now? You’ve reached another level!” He guffawed “You tried getting revenge on me via pick-up line?!”

“And so what if I did?!”

“Well, I guess I’ve been defeated.” Kokichi shrugged “Because there’s no chance of me having a response to that. Good job.”

“You little shi-”

“But… I’ll give you one thing.” He put his arms around his head and leaned back “That line wasn’t too bad. I just might be falling for you.”

“Is that a lie too?”

“Who knows?” He grinned “Figure it out yourself.”

Kaito let out one last little growl at the nuisance and turned around. Figure it out himself huh?

Maybe he would.

[adoremp3]

3, 13, 19

3. favorite line/scene you wrote this year 

ohhh i do have favourite lines i’ve written in the past, but not sure about this year! i thiiiiiink if i did have to choose... it would be the end scene in sgh 4! this part in particular:

“Couldn’t carry all the extra toppings, so I hope just jam and cream is okay,” he said as he sat back down on her bed, but furrowed his brows as he glanced back up at Kimber and the way she was staring at him. “What? Don’t tell me you actually want the other stuff, because I swear—”“No, no,” Kimber interjected, shaking her head. Her mind may have been a whirlwind of emotions, still rather intense and overwhelmed from the weekend, but having Harry beside her again was enough to make her forget her worries so long as he was around. “I was just — I’ve missed you.”

13. favorite writing song/artist/album of this year 

i’m not so sure i have found any new albums this year that i love to write to, because i tend to just go after my old favourites, which are the mother we share by chvrches, brutal romantic by brooke fraser, and long way home by lapsley. i would have to say, however, that i do think i’ve found myself writing to night thinker by amy shark and melodrama by lorde while writing tho!

19. any new fics to start next year 

you just wanna hear about drag niall, don’t you? but i think... olal will be only new fic i post in a while. don’t get me wrong, i always have countless new ideas i want to work on, but i had A Moment yesterday where i need to be realistic with my plans and goals (hence why i made that goal post lol). in the end, i realised that i need to stick with what i’ve already got. dragon niall not included, because let’s be real, i need a little niall fic in my life.

(all that aside, watch me still start posting about something new within a month. recently, i’ve thought most about a dancer ofc fic and a fic where ofc helps harry write his autobiography)

fanfic end of year asks

[shadowsong26x]

fave/least fave dumbass Jedi

I am very glad you specifically asked for dumbass Jedi, because not all Jedi are dumbasses and this makes coming up with an answer a lot easier. XD

FAVE: Gotta go with Anakin.

He is the epitome of Not Dumb But A Dumbass and I love him. Because he’s super smart and capable at so many things! He’s very good at thinking on the fly, his survival skills are almost certainly pretty high (when he’s not, like, diving off of buildings into clusters of angry droids or pushing through pain/fatigue he really shouldn’t; but in terms of, like, how to make/find food and shelter and so on), and he picks up new skills fairly quickly. He’s maybe not the greatest at long-term planning, but if you have a short-range objective against long odds, he will find a creative way through it.

And he’s good at things that require a variety of different kinds of intelligence. Primarily spatial, bodily/kinesthetic, and I thiiiiiink logical/mathematical (building things! combat things!), but he has his moments in each of the others. I mean, okay, we don’t actually see anything one way or another with musical intelligence. Hell, even when it comes to interpersonal intelligence, which is not his strong suit, he has his moments--he’s the one who figures out how to communicate with the Talz, for one thing; plus some of the stuff with that episode where they’re teaching the farmers to fight back against Hondo; a few other places. Also I’m not sure what kind of intelligence “finding loopholes and creative ways around restrictions” falls under, but he’s good at that, too.

That being said, he’s also super reckless (see what I said before re: survival skills) and prone to snap judgments, and frequently fails to think things through. Even leaving aside the, uh, majority of ROTS…even at his best, his impulse control is not the greatest, his verbal filter only works when he’s really trying very hard to make sure it does (and even then, he doesn’t always succeed)…especially when he’s personally/emotionally invested in a situation, he makes a lot of less-than-stellar decisions and spectacularly puts his foot into his mouth. He has a habit of diving into danger without really thinking through how he’s going to get out of it. He doesn’t know how or when to quit once he’s committed himself to someone or something--which, you know, all traits are traits and whether they’re assets or flaws depends on context, and that one is no exception. But when coupled with his general recklessness/difficulty with big-picture thinking…yeah.

So, yeah. Not dumb, but definitely a dumbass. And I love him.

LEAST FAVE: Quinlan Vos.

I mean, I don’t have much to say about him, other than 99% of the time when I’ve encountered him, apart from occasionally where he’s been a side character in a fic focused on someone else, he’s basically come across as having all of Anakin’s irritating qualities and none of his endearing ones. So, not a fan.

[anghraine]

I have a very, very vague memory of there being more of Subsequent Connections than show up on AO3 -- am I totally wrong? It's a delightful series that definitely shows how two very different people deal with finding a birth family -- and in their case, it wasn't something they'd sought for themselves. I was rereading it today and really enjoying it, and thought I'd ask.

Oh, thank you very much! 

It’s such a weird concept for a P&P fic—I would never have thought of it on my own, but I read a couple with the idea of Jane and Elizabeth as Fitzwilliams, and was like “well, if I wrote it, I’d do x and y to make it less painful and then z to make it MORE painful and wouldn’t it be interesting if…” Therein lies the path to hell.

I thiiiiiink the eleventh chapter of SC on AO3 is as far as that particular version of the story ever got, though I had some “missing scene” side pieces that it doesn’t look like I crossposted. I’ve been catching up on crossposting anyway, so I could move those over.

Also, there was an original (substantially different) version of the story that might be what you’re thinking of? With this one, I really wanted to focus more on exactly what you mentioned—the discovery as more than a plot device, the profound effects of Jane having memories of her birth family where Elizabeth doesn’t coupled with differences in personality/situation, the really bizarre position that Darcy ends up in, a more subtle take on the Elizabeth vs Eleanor tension, Milton’s melodramas, and so forth. It’s a lot more gradual.

Bearing in mind that I last updated in *squints* 2009, I dug up my folder for the fic (I save everything), and it looks like I actually was working on something in 2010! And… oh hey, it says Ch 12. I genuinely have no memory of working on this, so this is about as new to me as to anyone else, but … here is what I’d written:

ChapterTwelve

“Goodmorning, Miss Fitzwilliam.”

Elizabethsmiled. “Good morning. How is my grandmother?”

“Herladyship is … she will be pleased to see you, madam.”

Sheis always pleased to see me, Elizabeththought, with more than a trace of regret. Lady Ancaster, haughty,whimsical, and often disordered in her mind, was regarded withvarying degrees of trepidation by all the others.

Eleanor,usually fearless, would greet her with a white face and icy,trembling hands, and turn paler and colder until she fled. Elizabethfelt not the smallest surprise that Eleanor’s brash sort ofcourage, if courage it could be called—all good nerves and boldspirits—would desert her in such a matter as this, and disliked herall the more for it. Yet even Cecily could endure only a few minuteswithout palpable discomfort. Edward refused to come without hisbrother or sister, correcting Lady Ancaster in a flat, humourlessvoice nothing like his own, while loquacious Richard rarely spoke.

Elizabethherself neither felt nor understood any of this. She sat with LadyAncaster almost every day, and treasured thequiet hours she spent with her, away from the rest of the world—reading novels aloud or eagerly listening to her reminiscences. Itwas such a relief to escape from everything,just for a little while; the troubles and irritations of her lifeseemed to weigh much less on her mind, when she could confide them insomeone who listened evenwhen she did not understand.

It helped, too,that Lady Ancaster always loved her, whether she knew her or not. Elizabeth found it strangely easy to accustom herself to being called“Catherine” or “Laura” or even “Cassandra,” often in thecourse of a single conversation.

“Good morning,Grandmama,” she said gaily, kissing her forehead. “How are youtoday?”

“Very well.” Lady Ancaster cast her a sly look. “I heard that you danced thricewith Lord Bertie. I hope you are not thinking seriously of him.”

Elizabethhad never heard of him in her life. She laughed. “Indeed not. Idid go to an assemblylast night, however; we all did. I did not sit down once.”

“Youhave always enjoyed dancing,” Lady Ancaster remarked. Elizabethchose to believe this was true—true for her,not one of the phantoms of her ladyship’s memory.

“I expect so. Icannot remember a time when I did not—so I enjoyed the assembly. Perhaps you do not know, but it was my first since my f—since Icame to Houghton. I cannot remember all the people I met, but theywere all pleasant to me.”

Lady Ancaster casther a sharp look. “Only to you, Phylly?”

“ ‘Tis Elizabeth,not Philadelphia,” she said easily, “and of course they were not. At least—well, everybody was very deferential to my uncle,naturally, and people always seem to like Edward for some reason.”

“Charm andcharity do not always have very much to say to one another.”

Elizabeth’sbrow furrowed. “Er, quite so. Then there is Richard; he makeshimself agreeable everywhere. Eleanor, I suppose, intimidates theworld into fearful awe, but Cecily—I could not help overhearing—”

“Do you refer to the elder MissFitzwilliam?” Sir George looked incredulous. He was abaronet, Elizabeth had been reliably informed—a young, attractivebaronet of good family—four thousand a-year—and expectationsof a doting godmother, too—

“The younger is, er, dancing with,er, Mr Talbot, I believe.”

“I believe,” he saidicily, “that a man of family and refinement, such as myself, mightaim a little higherthan a witless, penniless girl with no greater claims than those shealready makes on the earl’s charity. Forgive me if my requirementsare too nice.”

Elizabeth,scarcely able to believe her ears, turned to Cecily in astonishment. She immediately wished she had not; Cecily’s bloodless face crumpled—in humiliation, misery—in everything but surprise, then wentblank.  Elizabeth was strongly reminded of a kicked puppy.  

“I know you are fond of Cecilia, and her circumstances certainlyattract an undesirable degree of attention,” Lady Ancaster said,“but Laura, dear, you must know by now that your cousin is quitecapable of managing her own concerns.”

Elizabethpressed her lips together. “Forgive me, madam, but Cecilyis nothing of the kind.”

Something flickered in her grandmother’s eyes. “Cecily?” sherepeated. “It was not Henry’s Cecilia, then? I never heard thatshe was called—oh!  'Twas little Cecilia, then?”

“Yes, Grandmama.”

“Ohdear.”

Elizabeth snatched at the moment of lucidity. “Sir George Pelham—I don’t know if you are acquainted with him, but he declined to dancewith her in very uncivil terms. No; I believe it was more than awant of consideration, but active cruelty. Poor Cecily heard everyword.”

“I detest all the race of Pelhams,” said Lady Ancaster.

“I certainly detest him.” Elizabeth sprang up, unable to remainquiescent in her chair, and paced furiously before the window. “Heasked to dance with me later. I am no handsomer than Cecily and wehave all the same connections, so I cannot think what made thedifference.”

“I trust, my dear, that you managed to refuse the compliment in thespirit it deserved.”

Elizabeth laughed. “I persuaded him that he must have mistaken mefor Eleanor.”

“Theresemblance is not thatstrong.” Lady Ancaster gave her a sharp look. “You must havebeen very persuasive, Elizabeth.”

Sheopened her eyes very wide. “Oh, but Sir George could not haveintended such a great compliment to me, a mere poor relation of LordAncaster’s. He made that perfectlyclear when he disparagedmy cousin to half the room; only the earl’s daughtercould possibly be worthy of such a discriminating taste.”

“I see,” murmured the countess.

“Naturally,” Elizabeth added, her tone sharpening, “I alwayswish to be of use to my superiors, so I explained his error to himbefore I returned to my proper place. He must have understood, forhe asked Eleanor to dance immediately afterward.”

“Did she accept?”

“Eleanor? Of course not.” And her brusque refusal had expressedall the astonishment and contempt that Elizabeth could have hopedfor. Sir George had been humiliated before everyone in earshot.

Hergrandmother laughed, then fell silent; Elizabeth remained at thewindow, staring at the dirty, melting snow. In retrospect,she supposed she should not have done it. Polite set-downs were onething; with her sharp tongue and quick temper, and even a sort ofinnocent vanity, she had certainly delivered more than one of those. But this was not an intemperate remark. Spur-of-the-momentthough it had been, she had contrived—schemed.  

Elizabeth shut hereyes. She had been so angry, the blazing fury blinding her toeverything but herself and that stupid, self-important littlepopinjay. Since her father’s death, apathy seemed to have consumedevery slice of rage she ought to have felt, until that moment. Thenall at once, she felt it all.

Mr and Mrs Bennet—and Mr and Mrs Fitzwilliam—were gone. She could hardly returnEleanor’s abrasive manners or Edward’s caustic insouciance in kind,not without descending to their level of incivility. James and Janedeserved nothing less than the gentle kindness they dispensed to all. As for Darcy, she could not say with any certainty what she thoughtof him, or felt toward him. He was clever, interesting; hehad not thought her handsome enough to dance with; he had started allof this; he was at Pemberley.

In some fashion oranother, they were all beyond the reach of her anger; but Sir George,standing before her—smiling—

“Goodmorning,” whispered Cecily, her smile bright and brittle. “How is she today?”“Well enough,”Elizabeth said. “She had a few lucid moments, atleast.”Cecily bit her lip. “I—I washoping I could steal you away, Elizabeth. The snow is nearlyall melted, and my uncle says we may walk out again.”“Oh! I should very much enjoy that—just permit me a moment to put apillow under—thank you, Theodore.” She bent to kiss LadyAncaster’s wrinkled cheek, then hurried after Cecily.“Thankyou,” she said. “You see, Sir George called; SirGeorge Pelham, who—you remember? He—Ella refused to dancewith him last night. Apparently he has some business withEdward.”Elizabeth laughed. “I did notknow anybody had business with Edward.”“Hedoesn’t.” Cecily quickened her steps. “Ofcourse he came to see Ella. Brown thinks so, at any rate; Ididn’t see him myself—did not even know he was here, until she toldme. Then I went down to Lord Ancaster’s study, and found you,and—well. I would rather not see him, and it is a niceday.”“It is a very nice day,” Elizabethagreed, uncertain whether she felt more pity at Cecily’s quandary, oramusement at Eleanor’s.“That is exactly what Ithought! And—and perhaps you would like to see Gulliver? I am sure you haven’t.”Elizabeth, though lighter andseveral inches taller than her cousin, almost ran to keep up withher. “Who is Gulliver?” she asked breathlessly,blinking when they stepped outside, into the daylight.“Mydog,” said Cecily, smiling more genuinely. “Oh, I amglad to be outside again. Are not the gardens pretty?—He’s twelve years old; Fitzwilliam gave him to me when he was justa puppy. He said it was a favour, that Gulliver was sougly that nobody else would take him, and he certainly didn’t wanthim, but I knew better. It was my birthday, and boys—youknow how they are.” “Oh, yes,” saidElizabeth.“Edward and Richard’s dogs frightened him,poor thing, so he doesn’t sleep in the house any more. EvenAunt Milton’s pug terrified him. It was ridiculous,really, to see Gulliver cowering before a little dog like that.”“Ishould like to see him very much,” Elizabeth said, rememberingJane’s account of her early quarrels with Pugsy. “I adoredogs. Where do you keep him, Cecily?”Cecilyhesitated, then grinned up at her, her usual manner entirelyrestored. “I shan’t tell you until we get there,” shesaid airily.  “It will be a surprise.—Do not worry,it isn’t far.”They talked lightly as they walked,somewhere between enjoyment and relief. Cecily spotted a bunchof chrysanthemums with a cry of delight, promptly picking them all. Elizabeth only shook her head and asked about their second cousins ontheir mothers’ side.Within a few minutes, she foundherself staring at a small, square, ridiculously picturesque house. It was built on a small eminence, backed by three stands of trees,and looked out upon all the splendour and elegance of Houghtonproper.  Snow still adorned the roof, cheerful yellow curtainshung in the windows—windows undoubtedly covered by honeysuckle inthe summer. Gilpin himself could not have improved upon it.

“Is it notpretty?”

“Very,” saidElizabeth. “Is this the parsonage?”

[impishnature]

tagged by @eregyrn-falls​ thanks friend!

Do This: List all the things you’re currently working on in as much or as little detail as you’d like, then tag some friends to see what they are working on. This can be anything!

1. A present for Ran- can’t tell you more than that! That would spoil it ;p

2. A long chaptered fic that suddenly imploded one morning into 13 pages of notes. I’ve hinted about it recently in asks I’ve received.

3. My D&D characters backstory and design? Does that count? It’s been taking up a lot of my time ♥ My Melhor is amazing and I love him dearly and I’ve never even played D&D before ♥♥♥

4. Another Ace headcanon fic! I haven’t written much but I’ve got the idea all ironed out ready to go. And it helped that I got such a great response to the first one that it kind of sparked the vague idea I had into something bigger.

5. Very very loosely Ib Falls - getting back to this one c: mostly editing a few chapters that are mostly ready to go ^.^

I thiiiiiink that’s it!

Tagging- @howtotrainyournana, @crossroadsdimension, @snapback-gravity-falls,  @as-be-low​ aaaaaand anyone else who’d like to?