#I’ve just been avoiding it for so long
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So I finally started Peaky Blinders, and boy oh fucking boy is the brainrot settling in
#I’m not surprised?#like I knew I would like it#I’ve just been avoiding it for so long#and I now have a sneaking suspicion that the first season is going to be a comfort watch for me#there aren’t many movies or shows that I will sit and rewatch and rewatch#but I’m about to start season 5#and I just keep thinking about how I want to go back to that first season#like it’s been consistently good and entertaining#though I’m gonna be honest it’s starting to get a little far fetched and ridiculous#but I don’t fucking care I love these characters too much to care about how unrealistic it’s become#but I do miss the simplicity of season one#I love when it’s just our little family in the garrison#small scale gang war problems#and I miss Freddie#and I miss Danny#god I’m having such a good time rn#I fear for what will happen when I finish this show and my brain is forced to occupy time in the real world#it’s gonna be rough for real lmao#peaky blinders#cillian murphy#tommy shelby
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hey…
#byler#stranger things#mike wheeler#will byers#byler brainrot#so I really love making byler art#but I have a shit ton of avoidance when it comes to social perception#I would love to be more active#and I’ve been diagnosed with ocd recently something I figured for a long time#sorry for the info dump I just hate not explaining#the teaser kind of throttled me actually#I have more byler art to share if I can get past my goddamn posting anxiety 💛thx for reading
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“Nine would have treated Martha better than Ten did”
I need to talk about this argument that never seems to stop circulating.
Note: Not a venomous/anti post. There’s more than enough of that across fandom spaces as is, and this is supposed to be a place for ✨sweet, blissful escapism✨
When making this argument, people seem to envision a scenario in which Nine never met Rose.
While I can appreciate a good hypothetical, recognizing Rose's significance to the Doctor (Nine and Ten) is essential to understanding why things with Martha played out the way they did in the first place.
In the third series, the Doctor is grieving. This grief is deliberately threaded into nearly every script, whether spoken aloud or not (and these are just a few examples):





He's burning in Rose’s wake the entire time Martha travels with him, which is why it’s so frequently called upon: It’s 100% deliberate in framing his grief. He grieved as Nine too, of course— having been fresh on the heels of the Time War — but then he met Rose, which changed everything.
Back then, he was still a rude, traumatized pain in the ass, but we watch Rose soften more of those jagged edges with every episode as they grow closer; as he lets his guard down and forms a deep connection with her.
He falls in love (against his better judgment) and it's game over.
And yes: provided S1E1 had been titled 'Martha', one can realistically assume things might have unfolded similarly to how they did with Rose. However, it wouldn’t have been that way just because the Doctor was Nine and “Nine was different” — it would be because he wasn’t already in love with someone else. The same can't be said for the start of S3.
Think of it like this: if Rose AND Martha had been in that cellar — if Nine had taken both of them along with him in S1 — we’d eventually be looking at the most melodramatic love triangle ever, what with him living in close quarters with two brilliant, gorgeous, compassionate young women... But Doctor Who is plenty “soap opera” as is with just one woman in the TARDIS.
(I certainly wouldn’t object to reading that fic, though)
Now, regarding the unrequited elephant in the room…
His inability to be romantic with Martha isn’t because he thinks her lesser, nor is it for lack of compatibility. It isn't because Rose is any better than her. It certainly isn’t just because he’s Ten.
It’s really only for one reason, which can't be denied — and now I’m a broken record:
He is still in love with Rose.

(cut from a tenrosedaily gif)
Nine is Ten, and Ten is only such a mess in S3 because he’s just lost the love of his life. Martha merely got caught in the crosshairs of a volatile Time Lord in mourning, and yes — it sucks. Absolutely.
But it also feels dismissive to chalk Ten and Martha’s relationship up to little more than some sort of mindless dance of pining, jealousy, and toxicity.
Ten trusted Martha with his life over and over again — and hers, with him. He constantly praised her brilliance, happily carting her around time and space with no intention of letting her go. In the BBC’s extended universe of novels/comics/cartoons/etc, there’s so much depth to their relationship: love and trust and trauma and sacrifice. They had their own special bond as mates, their own complexities — so it’s a bummer that it's forever overshadowed by the other things.
I’m not denying that there was a lot of stuff that sucked/was for sure toxic about Ten's S3 behavior, but so many of the things I've seen him catching flak for can be directly attributed to being A Clueless Fucking Alien Idiot (not a trait that’s unique to Ten) — as well as his flat-out obliviousness to Martha’s feelings.
So yes, I agree: if Rose never existed, he would have treated Martha differently as Nine. He also would have treated her differently as Ten. Certainly.
But Rose did exist, and when discussing canon, it matters.
“He tells me that he absolutely, 100% loves Rose... He tells me how my daughter; my wonderful, beautiful, clever little girl saved him from himself before… And he says that’s all because of me! I made her into the Rose Tyler that saved him.”
-Jackie Tyler, Flight Into Hull!
Martha got the short end of the stick in S3. She came round at the wrong place and time, but that doesn't mean it was all bad. It doesn't mean the Doctor didn’t adore her. It certainly doesn't mean the time they spent together was wasted or worthless. They were brilliant!
Sure, he could be a twat, but let it be known that he was a twat with Rose as well, both as Nine and Ten. I’m sure Tentoo can be plenty infuriating, too. So while I'll defend Ten (and Tentoo) into the ground forever and ever and ever, I'll concede that he's fucked up.
The Doctor is a certified Pain In The Ass. It’s one of the things I love so much about this character — dynamics.
But never forget that Martha was goddamn tough as nails and overcame every bit of it. She moved on with her life, and the Doctor moved on with his. One can only pray that, when they inevitably drag her back onto the show (which feels inevitable if I'm honest), we see at once that she's been living her best life for all these years.
#I'm paranoid af about posting this but also feel like maybe two people will read it so perhaps I'm safe#doctor who#tenth doctor#ninth doctor#rose tyler#martha jones#baby's first meta#dw meta#I hope this wasn't just a mess of discombobulated stream-of-consciousness chatter#try as I may to avoid it#I'm somehow still aware of the sea of bad fandom vibes surrounding almost every character mentioned#besides Nine - who for some reason seems to be above reproach#there's a painful absence of civil discourse#especially where shipping is concerned#but let me tell you#I've vibed with T/M people about T/R and T/R people about T/M and it is a beautiful thing#I wish we could all just get along#also I've got so many more thoughts about this topic#like an embarrassingly long list of thoughts#I tried to scale it down as best I could while also being as inoffensive as possible#gonna crawl back under my rock now#also you should all go read Peacemaker#best DW novel since the Stone Rose#belated tag added way after the fact but:#for some reason I’ve yielded so much hate mail since originally posting this#because I suppose some people have only cottoned on to my enjoyment of T/M#but please note that I’ve been writing my T/M series since 2022#it’s had no bearing whatsoever on my love of T/R+T2/R aka the OTP of all time#but I’m also a grown-ass woman in my thirties and we are all playing with dolls here#I just wanna spread love and write smut and I do this for fun so if you can’t be nice - then I don’t want you reading anyway
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today, it’s pearl’s turn to yap! grian and jimmy just got to know a lot more moth facts!

#shitty skyblings doodles daily#jimmy solidarity#pearlescentmoon#solidaritygaming#grian#sky siblings#skyblings#tw bugs#<just in case :]#day 38#honestly this was just for me#i have been having. a not very good night#one of my friends said something that kinda confirmed the little voice in my head constantly going “everyone hates you you’re burdening the#they hate you they hate you they hate you they hate you they hate you they hate you everyone hates you hates you hates you hates you hates-#and a bunch of my other friends agreed with them. so i’ve been crying. for. a bit.#they probably don’t actually hate me. the fact i’ve been crying for so long is pretty pathetic actually#but. i figured hey. i have to draw a daily today#and moths are one of my hyperfixations#and i had the siblings yap yesterday#sooooooooo#now im making pearl yap about moths#so then i got to look up cute moth pictures :]#i’m still crying but i feel like that’s not gonna change for a bit#but the moths helped even if just a little#i’m probably gonna avoid that friend group for a bit#don’t know if i could handle talking to them when i know im burdening them every time i open my mouth lmao#fuck that turned into a rant. i’m sorry chat. if anyone actually read all that have a cookie 🍪_(◕‿◕。)
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Phigting headcanon ask!
What do think are the phighters fav drink? :D
YES YES YWA YES YES!!!! I LOVE ASKS LIKE THESE LETS GOOOOOOO!!!! IM SO SORRU IT TOOK SO LONG FOR ME TO GET TO THIS BUT!! LET ME JUST COMPILE ALL OF THEM REALLY QUICK!
Sword, ice water with lemon. I actually headcanon he’s allergic to caffeine (because anything with caffeine will make birds very sick)
Rocket, sprite or blue Fanta
Subspace can’t drink due to his rot, he probably eats electrolyte packages lmfao
Medkit is addicted to black coffee
shuriken loves green tea/matcha
vinestaff likes sakura tea or cherry ramune
Icedagger likes söderblandning and Julmust especially
Scythe likes vinegar, straight vinegar. (And sometimes a key lime martini on the side)
Broker, once more, likes whatever is illegal.
Skateboard likes coca cola
slingshot likes milk because cat
boombox likes ginger ale (the bottle is green okay I couldn’t think of anything better)
Banhammer likes his mamas smoothies
Zuka likes those gas station slushies, blue raspberry mixed with Coke is probably his faborite
Hyperlaser likes beer or any sort of alcohol (duh)
Katana likes Baekseju
Valk like champagne
Dom likes red wine, but only the most expensive kinds
Voidstar likes the blood of her victims
Windforce likes protein shakes
Firebrand adores root beer floats, he also likes to make them with Dom and valk! His favorite is probably just with vanilla ice cream
Ghostwalker doesn’t drink but if he would it would be watered down cremated ashes
Illumina likes communion wine and holy water
ghostdeeri can’t drink liquids since it would extinguish her flame lmao
Darkheart likes chemical waste
Venomshank likes French Bloom Le Rosé
Coil likes monster energy drinks
Lord PWNATIOUS only likes the most expensive kinds of alcoholic drinks on the market
traffic likes gutter rain water /afF
okay so that’s all of them! Enjoy these I love getting to talk about stuff like this ;3
#I’m so sorry this took me so long to answer I kept getting sitracked LMAO#I loveeeeeee asks like these oh my goodness#ALSO#SPEAKING OF ASKS#To anyones who given me any suggestions or whatever in my ask box- I HAVE SEEN THEM!!#I’m not really intentionally avoiding asks I’m getting I’m just very busy and don’t have time to get to them#That and my social battery is always a gamble :’DD#I very much appreciate the amount of small art suggestions and stuff I’ve gotten and I do hope to answer them someday-#I’ve just been very very busy with school/life/and other stuff like commissions and owed art#Actual fandom art should be coming soon though! I have a LOT of ideas all lined up#specifically some lyric pieces and potentially even some pmvs if I can commit to them…..#TLDR art soon!!!#phighting!#phighting#phighting roblox#roblox phighting#roblox#phighting subspace#phighting medkit#banhammer phighting#phighting! roblox#phighting! coil#phighting! subspace#subspace tripmine#medkit#scythe#phighting broker#broker#hyperlaser phighting#vine staff phighting
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I have drafted up too many posts about my feelings about being in this fandom lately and particularly about how that feeds into my views on the show. I don’t know.
Was even going to add more onto this but then I’ll probably not be able to even finish my line of thoughts for this post and also again end up saving this to my drafts.
#the dragon prince#tdp#fandom critical#idk how to explain it fully#it’s just too many thoughts I’ve formulated that’s be too many to share at once#it’s just what I’ve been saying for a long time really#more and more it’s seemingly clear that certain opinions are not outright stated to be but are shown to not be tolerated by the fandom#and really important conversations cannot be had about the show#regardless of the negative or positive perspective any sort of commentary that could be attributed to it may share#and like#I’m not at all enforcing my views onto other people#in fact the very fundamental reason why I want to have these conversations is to avoid that#but I honestly feel like you cannot simply reframe from these conversations cuz they make you uncomfortable or you don’t like them#no it’s important to talk about these things in order to understand the show and they really really need to be talked about#and I’m tired of them not only being avoided but just straight up shut down on here#fuck I just want to talk about the nuances of the show in all aspects#not exclusively in one way or another#we’re not really acknowledging how truly nuanced then the show is are we?#idk let’s see if I have the confidence to make an actual post on this#hopefully that won’t get shut down either#okay just one more thing#like I recently saw someone make a really great meta on the show and it got hardly any notes or anything#and it was not only not negative towards the show but it was defending it while also considering ppl’s feelings regarding it#but I think it hardly got any notes since ppl automatically assumed it was negative#and that’s so unfortunate cuz it was on an important topic for the show that has not been discussed nearly enough imo
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had a real long cry convo combo, and other than the headache i do feel generally better. got some catharsis and understanding. gonna log off for the night, love u guys <3
#i think tomorrow i really have to just face some shit i’ve been avoiding#sigh. real frustrating to have a mental health crisis while high. like i was literally trying to have a good time what is your problem???#like when your computer shuts down to update in the middle of doing something#but i guess like that it’s a sign that i haven’t been scheduling maintenance times#what’s that quote about how u have to schedule time for maintenance or your body will schedule it for u#smth like that#can’t believe my constant avoidance of my problems has caused them to get worse… can’t they just go away on their own?#oughhh. well#i am doing pretty okay rn. like i have some long term shit that i need to focus on so it doesn’t get bad again‚ but i am genuinely okay rn#will respond to everything later‚ good night my lovelies <3
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Guess whose starting Prime Defenderssssss
ITSA MEEE!!!
#prime defenders#I’ve been avoiding it for so long you don’t even know#😕#jrwi prime defenders#just roll with it
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I’m afraid she’s busting out the straightener again
#It’s summer aka curly hair szn so I’ll mostly go curly but I just miss pin straight hair idk#And maybe a blowout sometime too#I think I rly wanna do a blowout#I just wanna switch it up I’ve been curly for so long#But im DRENCHING my hair in heat protectant its fine#<- girl who took years to nurse her curls back to health due to heat overuse and is terrified#I can’t avoid it forever..#Side note but I ALWAYS go straight hair on flights bc I think it’s so much more manageable than curly hair#I wonder if every curly haired girl does that too or if im just extra
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Hi please still be among the living, just busy as hell 🙏
In all seriousness, I hope you’re doing alright!! :)
amogus
#jk thanks for ur kind words anon !#i hope uve been well too <33#not to be an ao3 author trope but u have an amazing sixth sense anon#i just came out of the hospital recently and been recuperating#nothing serious so don’t worry :D i’ve actually been pretty well and like u said extremely busy annoyingly 😫#early this year i was still more or less burnt out so i’ve been taking things slow recently#but can’t avoid deadlines and work am i right 😫#anyway this has kind of stunted my writing i had nothing down on paper for a while which make it difficult to develop my fics#but i’m happy to report that i’ve got some words down for WIP of AAIT epilogue#so the ball is rolling once again yay#regardless i’ve been IA on here for way too long so be prepared for some spam sorry in advance 🤠
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This month I feel very strange. Everything is clear to me about what I need to do for myself and my future and my life and everything is so clear about the mistakes I make every day and why I do it and how to avoid making those even though making them is my safe zone kinda. I know all this now and not just that but I acknowledge I have to change it and have the will to. Because I’m so so tired of living in fear every day. But that’s the part that’s always hard I guess. I just have to make myself change slowly. If I don’t change, it will get worse from here on out. I’m my own worst enemy truly but I’m the only one who can dig me out of this hole of hopelessness and isolation and avoidance
#today I did something I avoided and planned to avoid doing and it was embarrassing but now that I’ve done it I will have no problem doing#it again. that’s my thing. I’m so scared of everything but if I help myself or LOL EVEN BETTER if someone helps me just once.. then#after that I will be able to do it on my own without an issue. and I’ve come a very long way. I just need to keep doing this#especially for the big stuff that I’ve been avoiding. lol#I will beat this guys just wish me luck 💪
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06/29/2025 THWWICH Progress Update:
TLDR: Another 3K edited. First section is finished at 4K and started second.
Got a lot of stuff to do before bed so doing this progress update now. We’re done with the first section and moving onto the second (which is long as fuck lmaoo it’s the majority of this chapter.)
Went back over parts of the draft and tweaked a couple things. I realized I maybe didn’t give enough weight to what Shu and Ko are feeling about the phantom thief/detective SK before so I fleshed out their individual thoughts about it a bit more. Part of the intention of this chapter is they’re distracting themselves from what happened but I didn’t want to just completely dismiss it, I guess.
Hope yall have a lovely lovely night. Sunday blues are hitting me but I’ve had a cool day getting to chat with some cool people. We’re all gonna punch this week in the face, I just know it.
#thwwichphantomthief#I’m thinking after ch 7 is out#I might finish fiction and feast#no promises but it’s just been calling my name lately and I’ve been continuously adding to it these past few weeks#it’s already like super drafted out#but the main thing I’m having issues with is deciding the gimmick#I want to continue this theme of chapters being centered around a weird long word#and there are several I’ve picked out and done trial runs with#like I’ve written the first like 1K words quite a few times with each one to see what I like best#and I like a couple of them but none are quite sticking with me like how brobdingnagian did#so I’ve been like holding out hope I’ll find the perfect word#but as I’ve read over what I’ve had I’ve also considered not doing a new word at all#because so much of this fic I think has wonderful connections to that starting word#like this intense massiveness between Shu and Ko and the enormity of Ko’s subdued feelings and the enormity of Shu’s own doubts#so I’ve just been playing around with it for a while lol#and I’d like to sincerely sit down and get it to where I want it#it’s just a lot of brain power so I’ve been avoiding it lol#anyway I’m yapping have a good night!!
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i am too burnt out to be a person i think today i need to be a dog
#i need to write. that’s really all it is. i need to make some good progress writing and then i will feel better.#the worst feeling for me as a writer is that pent up ‘haven’t written anything solid in weeks’ feeling#kinda makes me feel incapable but also just gives me this sense of dread#you know how in mha some people have quirks that need to be released in order to survive?#writing is like that for me. if i don’t do it frequently enough it really messes me up mentally#i do other creative hobbies like art and crafts and music as placeholders when i’m struggling to make the words work#but it doesn’t work long-term and i’m kinda at that point now where i am going to break if i don’t write something#i don’t really have a point in posting this other than to vent#but if you want a oneshot or anything i guess now would be the time to send me an ask and maybe i’ll use it as a prompt#just to get the weight off my chest y’know??#i keep staring at all my drafts and the things i need to do and i think i’ve let it overwhelm me too much. becoming avoidant to cope#but the avoidance is obviously worsening things. so the only solution is to take a shower#drink some soda#open a window#turn on some static and start writing i think#i want to post something again. it’s been too long already and i don’t have anything else in my reserves#so i need to write#not draft—i mean actually write#there’s a difference. at least to me#maybe i’ll post the poems on ao3 too and see if those lead anywhere. just a thought#if anyone actually reads this let me know if you think i should#anyway#that’s all for now. wish me luck i guess. i’m gonna need it#kats rambles in tags#kats vents#kats updates
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I just realized I didn’t really announce this despite it being a Big Deal but. finally got a top surgery date and secured it with a big ol deposit. august 5th. kinda hard to process in a way
#I have like only one friend at this point irl so i didn’t exactly have anyone hyping me up when it went through#I was like. this is a huge deal and something I’ve been waiting for for over a decade now. anyway time to go to work#on that note the one close friend I have Also does not have a license so im not 100% sure how im getting there/back (mostly back)#but at least I have three months to figure it out#considering asking a family friend who lives in the area but I feel weird about it since I haven’t seen/talked to her in a long time#like she’s a friend of my mom’s not all that close to me#but anyway at least the lodging should be doable since I have 3000 different ways of getting hotel discounts#(I get big discounts with three big companies two of which are Hyatt and Hilton and the other owns a bunch of franchises with other names)#I don’t know how/what to tell my mother about it#like she knows I’ve been trying to get it figured out and get a date settled but. telling her the actual date and that it’s definitely#happening is just. more real and im scared.#it’s funny how she thinks she’s supportive but also am constantly walking on eggshells re: my gender because the topic is#a trigger for rage and disgust or at the very least disapproval so like. yeah#I genuinely don’t know if she’d rather drive me or not have anything to do with it#because on one hand she’s a hypochondriac and will probably be freaking out about a Big Medical Procedure like this#and I can see her Needing to be around or something. on the other hand she generally doesn’t want anything to do with Gender Stuff#usually so she can pretend it doesn’t exist but I mean. no matter what that’s gonna be kinda impossible to avoid here#anyway. uhh. yeah. im glad the date is a few weeks before school starts in the fall i genuinely was expecting to have to deal with#recovering at the beginning of the semester and boy that’d suck. I mean ill still be recovering but not as bad. you get it#hhhhhghh I wish I could be more elated but im so weighed down by uncertainty/anxiety about my circumstances. it kinda sucks!#kibumblabs#here’s my fucking. diary entry for the day I guess
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i think at this point i’ve watched every single video on youtube of an older man showing you how to troubleshoot what’s wrong with your dishwasher. i’m unstoppable. i know EXACTLY what the fuck goes on inside a dishwasher and which part does what.
#i just wanna avoid calling maintenance if we can bc our apartment is sooooo small and we have one more car than we’re supposed to#and at this point i’ve been messing with this dishwasher for so long that i’m obsessed with fixing it#personal#*one more CAT
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it’s the way i’m obsessed with merrin and cal and i stg if anything happens to either of them, i will commit. commit what? who knows? not me.
#tbd#pls no spoilers i’ve been avoiding them for so long#i just want them to be happy pretty pls 🥹#joey plays games#jedi survivor#joey talks
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