#I'M SICK. I'M ILL. I'M CLINICALLY INSANE

[kenzan-kiwami]

love being asleep when new trailers drop lol

[bewby]

.

[girlbossblackbeard]

I think I'm actually going clinically insane over the reverse "you wear fine things well" scene because 1) if Ed looked at me Like That it would be game over I would literally do anything he asked me up to and including throwing myself overboard I literally do not know how Stede didn't legitimately spontaneously combust the second Ed turned those eyes on him 2) GNOSSIENNE NO.5 FINALLY BEING USED THIS SEASON AS A JOYOUS MARKER OF ED AND STEDE'S LOVE FOR EACH OTHER AS GOD INTENDED THIS IS NOT A DRILL HOLY SHIT 3) THEIR FUCKIN!!!!!!!! COY TEENAGER SHY LITTLE SHUFFLE TOWARDS EACH OTHER RIGHT BEFORE THEY KISS!!!!!! THE WAY STEDE EVEN LOOKS AWAY FOR A SECOND BEFORE LOOKING BACK AT ED AND ED'S TINIEST LITTLE SMIRK BEFORE THEY BOTH LEAN IN WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 4) the way they grab each other's arm during the initial kiss I'm so sick to my stomach 5) THE MOON Y'ALL!!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S NORMAL!!!!!!!!!!! BECAUSE THIS ISN'T A MOONLIGHT FANTASY OR AN INFATUATION THAT FEELS LARGER THAN LIFE BUT BURNS OUT QUICKLY!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS REAL AND IT'S RAW AND IT'S VULNERABLE AND IT'S GONNA LAST BECAUSE THIS NEW CHAPTER OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS BEING FOUNDED ON DOING EVERYTHING THEY CAN TO NOT LET THIS PRECIOUS THING THEY'VE FOUND WITH EACH OTHER TURN INTO ANOTHER WHIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM LITERALLY GOING TO START FEROCIOUSLY CLIMBING THE WALLS 6) hoooooooly fuck the way stede inhales and grasps Ed's neck like he's a man lost at sea dying of dehydration and Ed is the first sip of cool clean water he's had in months im ill im so so so so ill 7) ED'S LITTLE SHUFFLE AFTER ASKING STEDE TO TAKE IT SLOW SIR IM BEGGING YOU TO STOP BEING SO ADORABLE it's causing me to develop a heart condition 8) stede's quiet "huh, okay 😌" after Ed busts out his fish wanting to get caught metaphor he's literally so charmed by Ed it seeps into everything he does 9) WEHN THYE!!!!!!!! HOODL AHNDS!!!!!!!!!!! HAND TOCUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 10) the way Ed is staring stede DIRECTLY in the eyes as he says "this? perfect" my vision is going black 11) SHUT IP SHUT UP SHUT UPPPPPPP THEIR SILLY LITTLE HAND HOLDING GAME AND STEDE WHUSPERING "you won 🥰" AND ED'S BLUSHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SMILE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AS HE LOOKS AWAY AND PATS STEDE'S HANDS BEFORE TELLING HIM A COOL FACT HE LEARNED TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEY! ARE! LITERALLY! TEENAGERS! FALLING! IN! LOVE! FOR! THE! FIRST! TIME! EVER! oh I am in desperate need of medical attention after this one fellas I can tell this is going to have extremely long lasting and far reaching effects on my already severely compromised psyche

[nedermemes]

this type of stuff is why i don't understand why people want to lie SO badly to others that healthcare is amazing and free and accessible in the Netherlands.

the only thing you can get easily is Covid (and other illnesses) because nothing is done to prevent the spreading. do you know how bad it is when i still feel jealous irt certain topics to US healthcare? that's insane.

there is no Paxlovid available in the Netherlands. there have never been proper mask mandates, besides in public transport in the past. likely very few people will be allowed to get vaccination boosters. there are no testing sites. we were encouraged to mass (re-)infect each other for ""herd immunity"". there is nothing widely being done with CO2 filtration.

we might have one (1) Long Covid clinic next year. in Germany they have over 70 and those already have huge waiting lists. no money goes to biomedic research, only to CBT research and psychosomatic research questionnaires, which is proven to only further harm people with chronic fatigue and pain.

medical staff has only asked me in the past to take my masks OFF and they and disabled loved ones get extremely agitated when i wear one or try to mention that being infected is not a good thing. i tell them that stats from CBS show that at least 900k people in the Netherlands have Long Covid and they just don't care at all. people talk about their elderly parents having died like a good thing, because now they don't have to be a caretaker at home anymore (which you have to be as less and less care is provided by the government and hospitals). everyone talks for YEARS about the pandemic in past tense and meanwhile admits that entire departments at work and half the teachers at schools are always gone due to being sick and exhausted etc etc.

but it's my word against the disinformation of the Dutch government, eugenics-loving healthcare 'experts', and news sources that uncritically spread these lies. i'm fucking tired and i'm scared and being gaslit. we're all supposed to believe it's insane to be scared or care about the health of yourself or others. and there's almost nowhere to turn to if you get Long Covid.

[faofinn]

29. Lethargy/Exhaustion

@sicktember

The whole family had been rundown as the kids started school, but Kieran never seemed to pick back up. Even the promise of his after school football club picking back up didn't excite him, asking his dads to bring him back home every time.

Tai did his best to reassure Harrison, but his partner ouldn't listen. He couldn’t. There was something wrong with Kieran and everything, every inch of his body screamed they had to do something.

The GP brushed him off, telling him that he was just putting ideas into Kieran's head and making him think he was sick. Harrison struggled to hold his tongue, and when the doctor started suggesting Harrison needed therapy for missing Tai’s illness, he stormed out. Kieran cried the whole way home, convinced his dad was upset at him for causing all the problems.

Tai had been at work for the appointment, unable to get the time off. He’d happily let Harrison go, though. His other half was the one so convinced there was something awry. His clinic was busy, he barely got a chance to catch up on his notes, let alone look at his phone, and when he got in that evening he sought Harrison out. Hopefully the GP had made at least some helpful suggestions.

They hadn't, of course, and Harrison wasn't impressed. Despite wanting to rush out and get another opinion, or beat the doctor up, they'd ended up having a quiet day at home. Even Alfie and Levi had been quiet around Kieran, choosing to let him stay on the sofa with Hars while they caused chaos elsewhere. 

In the kitchen, away from the kids as they played before dinner, Tai leaned on the counter and looked over at his partner. “So, how was it? Kieran’s quiet.”

"Ridiculous. Told me I need therapy."

Tai frowned. “You need therapy? Because your kid is sick?”

"Because they think I'm putting the trauma of what happened with you onto him." He rolled his eyes, frustrated. 

“Well, that’s insane.” Tai huffed. 

"He's not well, Tai. I'm telling you, he's not."

“He does seem a little off.” Tai agreed. 

"I know he's quieter than Alfie, and everything is quieter than Levi, but look at him. He's just so tired."

“He’s been quieter than usual lately, and more emotional too.” He said softly. “They didn’t even agree to anything? Not even some bloods?”

"They agreed to do a referral for me."

“Fucking hell.”

Harrison rested his head against the cabinets. "I can't do this, Tai. I'm scared for him. I know there's something not right."

Tai moved to wrap his arms around Harrison. “A second opinion? We can afford a private GP appointment, I’m sure.”

"And they'll just say the same. Maybe I am just being stupid." He sighed, slowly leaning into Tai. "Maybe I am just feeling guilty because I didn't recognise the signs with you."

Tai kissed his cheek. “Or maybe you’re a dad worried about his kid, who learned from previous experience.” He pointed out. “It’s okay to feel guilty about what happened with me, but that was more my fault than yours, I knew something was wrong and I ignored it. It’s not like you want him to be sick.”

"I want to see him running around and causing mischief again, trying to blame it on Alfie and Levi." Harrison smiled to himself. "He usually gets away with it too, he's too smart for us."

Tai smiled. “Can tell he’s not ours by blood; way smarter than the pair of us combined.”

"Talk about yourself."

He grinned. “Are you sure?”

Hars turned to kiss him. "Mm. Yeah."

“I’m glad our kids have a dad like you looking out for them.”

"I'm only here because of you. Only a dad because of you."

“I might not be a doctor but I’m not sure me being with you is why we have kids, Hars. Don’t think it works that way.”

Harrison laughed, his troubles forgotten for a moment. "Tai! You know what I mean, you idiot."

“I might be good but I’m not that good.”

"Mm, I don't know, mind."

Tai kissed him again. “Missed you today.”

"You must have been so busy."

“I spent my lunch writing notes because I had no time before.”

"I know the feeling."

“I swear everyone was complex today too. Nothing bloody simple.” He grumbled. 

"It's always the way."

“Yeah. I’m sorry the GP was shit, though.”

"I'm just worried about him."

“Yeah. Is there anything we can do?”

"We're just going to have to wait until they can't ignore me."

Tai hummed. “I hope it doesn’t come to that.”

"I'm scared." He admitted quietly. 

“He’s got us to look after him. He’ll be okay.”

"This just hits him how much I can't protect them from everything."

“Part of being a parent. It sucks, doesn’t it? Same as I can’t protect you from everything, as much as I want to.”

"I have to, though. It has to be better for them."

“It’s already better for them. They’ve got, people who care for them, and a nice warm house. Somewhere safe.”

"You know what I mean." He sighed. "I suppose we better get on with tea, else we'll be in the shit for that."

“Riots will start, and I’m starved.”

"We could always get a takeaway?"

“Oh, don’t tempt me. Maybe that would cheer the boys up.”

"We might as well."

“We’ll cook tomorrow.”

Harrison grinned and set about ordering their takeaway. Even Kieran perked up at it, joining in with the rest of them and bringing back a sense of normality. By bedtime, everyone was exhausted, the boys all arguing they definitely were not tired, but their repeated yawns and dozes on the sofa said otherwise. At some point during the night, Alfie ended up in his dads' bed, complaining sleepily that Kieran kept waking him up. They weren't quite sure why, and when Tai checked on him he was curled up and fast asleep, so they weren't sure it wasn't just Alfie's imagination. 

Time passed as it always did, and Kieran seemed to get worse. He'd ended up being kept off school, too tired to go to school. He wasn't right at home either, all too lethargic and grumpy. He'd lost weight, too, and he'd never had much to lose in the first place. 

The GPs were still no help, but agreed he had lost weight. They put it down to a virus and then washed their hands with him again. The only one that cared even slightly told them to come back in a few weeks if nothing had changed, and then they'd maybe look into bloods and other things.

It had been a week after their last appointment when things reared their head again. Harrison had been unable to sleep, phantom pain making him toss and turn. Tai, as usual, was fast asleep. He had the decency to ask him if he was okay, but he was more asleep than not, and Harrison would have put money on him not remembering it in the morning. 

While not unusual to hear the boys going to the toilet, they seemed to be constantly back and forth. Curiosity got the better of him and, after hearing the tap running for the fourth time in an hour, he padded out onto the landing.  

"Kieran?" He asked quietly. "What are you doing? Is this why you're so tired?"

"Dad?" He asked, rubbing his eyes. "What's going on?"

"I was asking you the same question, Kit. You've been up and down like a yoyo." He said, crouching down.

"I was thirsty."

"What happened to your bottle? Did you not fill it up?"

He nodded. "I drank it all."

"All of it?"

"And then I filled it up and drank that too."

"And you've been going for a lot of wees?"

"I need to go for a wee now."

Harrison's heart dropped. After everything with Taidgh, every doctor deciding he needed therapy instead of listening to him, he was now faced with a terrifying reality.

"Okay, Kit. Can you do me a massive favour? Do you know daddy's bucket he uses sometimes? Do you think you can use that for a wee instead? And then come and see daddy and me when you've washed your hands?"

"Am I in trouble?" He shrunk back, looking up with wide eyes.

"No, squirt. Not at all. Don't be silly, eh? You've done nothing wrong. I just want to have a chat when you're done."

"Okay." Kieran nodded to himself and headed to the toilet again.

Harrison rushed back to Tai, shaking his partner awake before rummaging through his drawers. "Taidgh, wake up. I need you to call Steve or Sheila or Fao. Any of them. They need to look after Alfie and Levi.

Tai frowned, groaning. “What’s going on?” He asked thickly, still half asleep. “Are you alright?”

"Kieran's got diabetes. I'm sure of it."

He sat up, rubbing his face. “Slow down, what’s happened?” He said, reaching to flick the light beside his bed on. 

"I can't find your ketone strips. Where have you moved them to?"

“What’s going on, Hars?” He asked, reaching out to look through the drawer. “They’re the same place they always are. Look.” He found them easily, handing them to him. 

"You must have moved them!" He groaned frustratedly, ignoring Tai’s question and returning to look for his pouch. "They need to stay in the same place so we can get them."

“They were in the same place.” Tai pointed out. “Are you going to tell me what the fuck is going on? It’s 3am.”

"I've told you." He said sharply, stopping as Kieran pushed their door open. 

"Are you and daddy fighting because of me?"

Tai shot Harrison a pointed look, and then turned back to his son. “No, Kit. Dad just woke me up and I was being grumpy. Come here, it’s alright.” He said, patting the bed. 

Harrison ignored the glance, on his own mission. He returned quickly, holding the strip to Tai. "See?"

He had his arm around Kieran, frowning at the strip. He sighed. “Alright.”

"Kieran? Can I have one of your fingers? Just to check your blood like we do with daddy?"

He shook his head, frightened. “No thank you.” He mumbled, hiding against Tai. 

“It’s alright. It doesn’t hurt, I promise.” Tai said gently. “Let your dad do it to me first, then you?” 

"You can even do it to me too." Harrison offered. 

"No." He pressed closer to Taidgh, his face fully hidden against his dad's chest.

Tai rubbed his back. “I know it’s a bit scary, Kit. Your dad and I just want to make sure you’re okay. I’m right here, yeah? Not going anywhere.”

"I'm just thirsty. I'm okay." He said quickly, deciding to make a break for it.

Taidgh wasn’t surprised the poor kid was terrified - Hars was like a man possessed, even if he tried to hide it from him. He wrapped his arms around him, grimacing as he tried to escape. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Come on, it’s okay.”

"We don't have to." Harrison finally admitted, reaching to rub Kieran's back. "It's alright to be scared a bit, especially if you're feeling rubbish like you have been for a while."

“Daddy feels rubbish sometimes, and it’s no fun.” Tai said. “And I don’t like having to prick my finger, either. It’s scary, isn’t it? It’s alright not to want to, but your dad wouldn’t ask you to do something scary unless it was important.”

"Is it really, really important?" He asked quietly. 

"I think it is, Kit. I think we might have to go and see if Uncle Finn is working in the hospital, too."

“I don’t want to go and see Uncle Finn at the hospital. I’m tired, can I go to bed?”

Harrison glanced at Tai. "I think we really have to go."

“One thing at a time.” Tai said gently. “Can we check your blood first? It’ll take two seconds.” It would be easier if they had all the information before they went in.

Kieran stuck his arm out in a moment of bravery, though tightened his grip on Tai. "Quickly."

“Really quickly. I bet you’ll be much braver than me, eh?” 

Harrison did his best to distract Kieran as he pricked his finger, trying to be as quick as he could for the kid. His hands shook as he took the reading, shaking his head as it came up with an error reading.

"Sorry, Kit. Just gonna squeeze your finger a little bit more." Another error. He looked to Tai, desperation clear on his face. "Just one more go."

He held his breath as it beeped at him, finally coming up with an answer. It didn't fill him with any more hope, the reading simply coming back as "Hi". He turned the machine to face Tai, his expression darkening to fear.

“Look at that there now. So brave, braver than me.” He murmured to his son, proud of him for coping so well. He could tell Harrison was worried, and he wasn’t exactly relieved to see the reading. “Is it the machine? Check it.” He said quietly, offering his hand. 

"Tell you what, Kieran. Why don't you come and sit on my knee now?" Harrison offered. "Let daddy do his?"

Kieran didn’t want to let go at first, but eventually peeled himself away, reaching for his Dad. “Is Daddy poorly?” 

Harrison hesitated. "I think you might be a little bit poorly this time, Kit."

“I feel a bit poorly.” He admitted, snuggling into Harrison. 

Taking the kit off of Hars, Tai quickly checked his own, forcing himself to push through the uncomfy feeling. He usually made Hars do it where he could. It read fine, frustratingly, and even matched what his phone was telling him. Fuck’s sake. 

"I'm not surprised you feel a little bit poorly. You must have been feeling rubbish for weeks."

“I’ll see if I can get a hold of someone.” Tai said quietly, standing up. 

“Am I in trouble?” Kieran asked again. 

"No, no." Harrison promised, kissing his hair. "You're the furthest thing from being in trouble. You've been so brave and amazing."

“I’m sorry.”

"I'm sorry you've been feeling so rubbish for so long."

“That doctor was mean to you. I didn’t mean to make him be mean to you.”

"Can I let you in on a secret?" He pretended to whisper.

Kieran nodded. He was good at keeping secrets. 

"Lots of doctors are mean to me because I've done some really, really silly things. It wasn't your fault in the slightest."

“But you’re a doctor.”

"I am. But you've seen the silly things I've done. Like when I tripped over Alfie's car and my leg fell off!" He kept soothing. "And I've done loads before you were even born! Grandma Sheila and grandad Fred were always telling me off, and then when I was living with grandad Steve, he had to tell me off every day too."

“I’ve done silly things.” Kieran said quietly. “Will they be mean to me?”

"You've only done a tiny amount of silly things, they don't count. And you're far too cute for them to ever be mad at you."

“You’ll stay? Won’t go away?” He asked, as Tai reappeared. 

“Steve’s at work, I couldn’t get through to Sheila, but Fao’s going to come over.” He said, sitting back on the bed. 

Harrison groaned quietly. Of course, nearly all of them were busy. No doubt Fao was rota-ed for the day shift after too.

"Of course I'm gonna stay! I'll make sure to hold your hand as long as I can. Maybe I should super glue it to yours?" He pretended to muse. "That way they can't take us apart."

Kieran laughed despite himself. “Don’t be silly, Dad.”

"No? No super glue?" Harrison sighed. "Hmmm. Maybe we could duct tape us!"

Tai set about getting dressed, letting Harrison keep Kieran distracted. He had their grab bag already, but there wasn’t one for the kids (they never thought about the kids getting sick) and so slipped into Kieran’s room to pack stuff whilst they waited for Fao to arrive. 

Kieran had already started to fall back asleep by the time Fao arrived, latched onto Harrison like a koala. Harrison wasn't surprised in the slightest, and while he wasn't happy with the explanation, at least it gave them something they could fix, in a way.

Fao pulled Hars in for a gentle hug when he arrived, careful not to squash Kieran. “I’ll do the school run in the morning, let me know how yous get on? Do the boys know I’m here?”

"Taidgh told them, I think. I came down with Kieran, he just wasn't settling. Proven me wrong now."

“Kids exist just to prove you wrong.”

 "I've been telling them for weeks."

“It’ll get sorted now, at least you’re on the ball.”

"He's been so brave."

“Gets it from his Dad.”

"Tai has been." 

“And you, idiot.”

"I've been a wreck.”

“You’re plenty brave.” He said. “Go on, get yourselves seen to. I’ll hold down the fort.”

"Thank you, Fao. For everything.”

“Anything for you.” 

He pulled him in for another hug, kissing his cheek. "I'll call as soon as I know."

“It’s okay. Look after your family, yeah?” 

"Someone's gotta." He managed a smile as Tai emerged from the kitchen, snacks and drinks packed for the trip.

Tai stuck his hand out before changing his mind and pulling Fao in for a hug too. After all, they were family. 

Fao patted Tai on the back. “Go on, off you go. Get yourselves sorted, look after each other. I’ll be around if you need anything.”

[mikk1n]

Required by law to say makayuri for the game KDNFJEJRJ

AY LET'S GO (@jascnbrody tagging u since I'm combining these)

BARKING GROWLING SNARLING FROTHING AT THE MOUTH....... THE AMOUNT OF TIME I SPEND ROTATING THESE FUCKERS IS INSANE. I'M SICK.

They are just so interesting to me...in canonverse they're Deliciously fucked up and I love exploring different ways they can be fucked up in my little AUs, but I also like to indulge in AUs where Makarov is, like, a decent person and he and Yuri get to be happy and gay together. They're husbands they're exes they're sworn enemies they're lovers they hate each other they can't live without each other screaming moaning throwing up. And so forth.

Did the shippers are ill thing again because that's me I'm shippers there's smth clinically wrong with my brain

[crippleprophet]

being treated kind of -not good-, and also not getting good medical treatment for a physical illness that I have and the doctors know I have, bc some (not all men :| ) doctors perceive me as insane/hypochondriac (or something like manchausen i have no idea how to write that down i seriously think it basically doesn't exist, same for hypochondria. both are probably rare as hell, if real at all.. most of the people blamed for having those things are probably actually physically sick. and when I use the word blamed I mean it 100%. The problem is that the medical field sees it as a "diagnosis" or whatever. wait also definitely same for Stockholm syndrome. that isn't a thing! but we're all forced to pretend it is) let me clarify I don't think I've been diagnosed as any of those things (well... borderline... ocd... depression and anxiety at some point! this is fucked up cause non of it is or ever was trus but whatever I can't delete it from my medical record so... shit.)

if you don't wanna get this type of annoying asks about sad bullshit lmk for real

if u have any info on this or an article or an opinion also lmk

it's like... freaking greg house is nicer than some people in the medical field u know? I don't mean frowning or calling people names, im talking deep stuff, respect. treating people like.. people!

maybe I'm exaggerating rn.. it's just an ask why am I starting to feel like im insulting nice good doctors..

i’m so deeply sorry you’re experiencing this mistreatment and neglect - you deserve doctors who believe you and investigate + treat your physical illness. i believe you. you’re physically sick and you deserve quality care, and it’s okay to be confused and hurt and angry that you’re not receiving that.

as far as reading recs, i’ve taken a lot of comfort in learning more about post-hysteria diagnoses and their relationship with the medical field dismissing anything that’s not clinically visible in a standard way or that they attribute to psychiatrized disabilities. most of my knowledge on that comes from talking to @vickeryistired but hopefully that gives you some key words to start with, and my “anti psychiatry” tag also has some reading etc you might find relatable. you’re not the only one who’s been abused by the medical field in this way and you’re not alone

[wildxcardrebel]

care, sender takes care of receiver when they're sick. (from Noot)

actions speak louder than words

@fatexbound

"Naoto-kun, I told you I'm fine..."

Yeah, probably hard for her to believe that when he sounded insanely congested. Ren rarely got sick, so it was a foreign feeling to have someone taking care of him. An aggressive sneeze came from him, shooting through his whole body. "Ow... I mean, I'm okay..." The fact that his wit wasn't as sharp today was just another sign of how the illness affected him. This wouldn't be an issue if Takemi was at her clinic, but she was at some sort of conference, leaving Ren's friends no choice but to take care of him themselves.

[thorn-91]

Next chapter!

Word count: 821

Chapter three

Illness

“ Mom!” she sprinted over to her mother on the ground. Her mother looked like she was about to pass out, so Izanami held up her shoulders to support her weight. She had to bring her back quickly.

Both of them slowly made their way back into the mansion where everyone was waiting. When they stepped into the room her father turned around and stared in fear at the sight before him. “S-she… was puking blood…I don’t know what to do.” Izz was tripping over her words, she could barely get a sentence out.

Genkei quickly rushed over to his wife's side and took her from Izz’s arm. He felt completely useless, he couldn’t understand why this was happening. Surely it wasn’t poison! It couldn’t be… there was no access to it on the property, and there was no way someone could have brought it in without him knowing.

“Genkei….” his wife spoke shallowly . “ we have to… go to the …village.” she could hardly speak with the blood filling her mouth and lungs. He panicked and looked to his parents across the room for an answer. But they were at a loss for words.

“Izanami, prepare the cart outside now! Aimi, Chikao, and Hanzo grab some sheets from outside and wrap it around your brother and sister.” His parents also helped with preparing the cart. So many things were rushing through his head, until he also started to feel like vomiting. He would have to hold it off for now, his family was the main priority at the moment.

Izanami ran outside to prepare the cart, her heart was racing with fear. What will happen to them? She couldn't help but think of the worst. She unloaded the cart to make room for her mother and siblings, and made sure that the horses were secured to the cart.

Running back to her father she told him everything was ready. “ help get your siblings to the cart while I take your mother.” Without another moment he took his wife in his arms and ran for the cart.

Izanami helped carry Ren while Aimi and Chikao helped their grandparents carry the rest of her siblings. Izanami helped everyone on the cart, making room for all her siblings and her grandparents.

As she moved near the front of the cart to sit next to her father who was holding the reins of the horse, he stopped her.

“You're staying here. I won't have you getting sick as well.” He stared at her with worry.

“what?! That's insane, I'm coming too. I want to help!” how could he make her stay back while her family was practically bleeding to death!

“Izanami! I will not repeat myself! You will stay here until we return. We will go into the village for medical assistance and come right back. You are not to leave this estate, do you understand!” she had never heard her father yell at her with such fear as he did now.

She let go of the cart and took a step back, “Yes”. Tears began pouring down her face. looking back at the back of the cart she could see her mother and siblings all vomiting blood.

Without another word from her father he pulled on the reins and raced through the gates as fast as he could. Izanami watched with teary eyes as her family dashed out her vision.

She fell to her knees and bent her head to the ground. Fear and sadness like she never felt before washed over her. Within that moment she felt so hopeless that she couldn't even think about anything else but her family.

Hours passed without any sign of them.

Maybe they've already reached the clinic? They'll be fine…everything will be fine…

Izanami sat in that spot till morning waiting for that cart to pull back through the gates… but they didn't come back. Maybe they just got held up… or father sent Akio to come and get her! She had to be hopeful. The day went on then eventually nightfall came, no one came.

She quickly lifted her head when she heard the sound of the gates creaking, hoping to see her family on the other side of those gates… her hope was short lived. It was Kagaya Ubuyashiki.

She wiped her face and ran over to the man. “Mr. Ubuyashiki! Do you know where they are? Have you heard any words from my family?!” Her voice was panicked, practically shaking while holding onto his arms.

Kagaya frowned and shook his head, “ I'm sorry my child but I'm a little confused … what has happened” He held her steady while she shook, lowering her to the ground to steady her before she fell.

“Now Izanami I want you to take a deep breath and tell me what's wrong.” He sat in front of her and waited for her to calm down.

End of chapter.

Have a happy new year everyone!!

[martinacollenderplaywrightblog]

I, like the rest of world was desperately saddened and heart ached to hear of the passing of Lisa Marie Presley at the shockingly young age of 54.

Like the rest of the world, I went to see the latest Elvis film with my sister before Christmas. I'm mental; I'm clinically insane, diagnosed nutjob, not the full shilling, missing a few marbles which I only tell you as some sort of understanding as to why, even though I knew Elvis died at 42, when I saw it in the film, I cried and grieved for the following three months and even now to this day. When Lisa Marie passed not only was I grieving for her, a new awakened grief for Elvis emerged.

The film showed Elvis as I imagined him to live; a deeply talented young man who adored his family who fell into the curse of addiction and paid with his life. The last bit of the film is real life footage of him singing Unchained Melody; he looks desperately sick but still sings beautifully.

I don't know Lisa Marie's life but I imagine it was a tough one. I'm not famous, I'm poor and sometimes I daydream about being famous; about just tweeting "Good Morning" and having millions of retweets and likes but the filp side of it is when your sick or troubled you have to endure the illness but also the whole world watching you; I can't imagine anything worse. Daniel Radcliffe spoke about being 18, the biggest star in the world, having millions and being surrounded by people who never said no. I'm not judging, if I had the money I'm certain I'd drink myself to death, but as the media flooded with pictures or Daniel Radcliffe hungover and in a state I'm filled with an intense fear of my worst moments being splashed across the front page.

Lisa Marie's son passed away of sucide at just 27, in her grief Lisa Marie wrote an essay for National Grief Awearness Day "in the hopes that anyone who needs to hear all of this it helps in some way." I can't imagine being so brave in my broken heart I would think of others and this is just one of the reasons I fell in love with Lisa Marie's beautiful and giving heart.

The footage that shakes me to my very core, is the images of Lisa Marie when she was a child with Elvis; here they are not famous, there are not singers, they are simple a day and daughter who love each very much. Looking at this images breaks my heart because I am now cursed with knowing what will happen to them both, cut down too young.

I think of Lisa Marie's passing and I hear Elvis singing "I'll be coming home, wait for me" please God if there is any justice or kindness in this cruel world, they are now reunited and safe in each others arms.

A bed of heaven to Lisa Marie. RIP.

[jyleshay]

September 2021 - The Broken Ladder

This month I read The Broken Ladder: How Inequality Affects the Way We Think, Live, and Die - by Keith Payne. Payne is a social psychologist who presents a great deal of statistical evidence and studies for us to use in the discussion about inequality in America. His arguments are well-researched, persuasive, and also nuanced. I've picked out a few highlights that I found particularly interesting.

- A 2014 study asked people from across the political spectrum how much more a CEO should make than their average worker. People from the right and the left agreed (without knowing it) that a CEO should ideally be paid about 4 to 5 times more than their average worker. They also thought that, on average, CEOs in the United States actually make 30 times more than their average worker. The perception of inequality in America is clearly there, from both sides of the political spectrum. In reality, the average CEO made 350 times more than their average worker in America in 2012 (it's probably higher now).

- For developed countries, higher average income does not correlate to better health and social wellness among their citizens. Countries and states with greater levels of income inequality have higher rates of serious health problems, mental illness, and crime, as well as lower life expectancies.

- Inequality leads to increased feelings of insecurity and triggers physical stress reactions in the body. The lower on the social ladder a person falls, the greater the physical reaction marked by inflammation and higher levels of stress hormones. The author's research indicates that it's not poverty in and of itself that causes these negative effects; it's a person's perception of where they stand in relation to others in society. Feeling poor matters--not just being poor. And when people feel poor, they make decisions differently than when they don't.

- Inequality affects our behavior, and differences in behavior can magnify inequality. People are less likely to make the economically advantageous choice when they feel poorer than the people around them. They are more willing to take increased risks like buying lottery tickets, taking out payday loans, or dealing drugs, in an attempt to escape the feelings of poverty and the stress that it brings. A person's actual income is not as predictive of this behavior as much as their income relative to others around them. Several fascinating studies that are referenced in this book show even temporary inequality leads to riskier behavior in the participants. Our brain is constantly comparing our situation to the others around us and subconsciously telling us to adapt.

We still need to take a nuanced approach to the outcomes of inequality. Why don't more people achieve escape velocity from their negative situations? America is one of the richest countries in the world, there is opportunity here. It isn't just nature (character flaws) or nurture (environment) that determines outcomes. Both have an effect and work together. We have an incredible capacity as humans to adapt to our environments and part of that environment is our relative standing to others. Where are we on the ladder? If a person realizes that they have much less than those around them, they will think differently and act differently.

Inequality has to exist to some extent, in smaller amounts it provides motivation to achieve success and incentivizes hard work and other positive behaviors. However, the rungs of the social ladder have to be close enough together that one can climb upwards without taking insane risks. When evaluating what fundamental ideologies we should follow regarding wealth and poverty, government and politics, economics and society; this book's assertions should be thoughtfully considered.

In current events...

Texas has banned abortions after 6 weeks without any exceptions for rape, incest etc. It feels like this happened months ago, but it went into effect in September! This is really important as the law goes directly against precedent set in the 7-2 Supreme Court decision on the case of Roe vs. Wade in 1973. Texas has avoided the law being struck down immediately by having enforcement of the bill come from private citizens; most people have heard about the $10,000 bounty that citizens will be paid for suing anyone involved in an abortion after 6 weeks.

The bounty provision is pretty crazy but this law is bad for everyone because it undermines the Supreme Court's ability to protect constitutional rights from scheming legislators. Regardless of where you stand morally on abortion, if you support this bill you are supporting your rights established by the Constitution and the Bill of Rights to be toyed with by any party that comes into power. This new law directly undermines and negates the previously established right to privacy and body autonomy for women that was established in Roe vs. Wade.

Anti-abortion advocates will argue that this right for a woman should not apply when another person's life is at stake. That is an argument that we need to consider, however, the Court has done so already, hence their rulings, which we collectively accept in most every scenario, outside of a woman's right to an abortion of course. Take the following example:

Let's say that a person is dying and the only way to treat them is to get a donation of bone marrow. You are the only match as a donor. If you don't donate the bone marrow, the sick person will die. No matter who the person is that you'd be saving, you have the right to choose whether or not you wish to donate. You cannot be forced by the government to donate your blood or bone because you have that right to privacy and body autonomy. Regardless of your reasons, you can choose not donate and the sick person will die. We can argue that you are morally wrong, but you are within your rights to control what is inside of your body. The same principle applies to a woman during pregnancy.

I am not advocating for late stage abortions without cause, and Roe vs. Wade does not protect the right to an abortion at any stage of pregnancy for any reason. The Supreme Court case of Planned Parenthood vs. Casey established fetal viability as that limiting factor, which is certainly much later than 6 weeks. You can make arguments for when that viability occurs, but it's nowhere near when Texas lawmakers are saying it is. Anyone arguing that a 6 week fetus has the same rights as a person is not arguing in good faith.

Consider another hypothetical: You find yourself in a fertility clinic. The clinic is on fire. As the building burns, you see in a room there is a station that has 100 viable fetuses that are in the process of development. You could rush in and grab them and carry them out of the building. Across the hall, however, you see a 4 year-old child crying, trapped behind fallen debris. As the building burns, you know you only have time to grab one and carry them to safety. Which do you save? Anyone who says they'd save the fetuses is lying to you.

The Texas bill is bad for the rule of law in America and should be struck down. Unfortunately, it looks like it will succeed in what it set out to do.

Favorites:

Favorite Series: Squid Game - This show connects well to the theme this month of inequality and the behaviors that it can cause. However, viewer beware, this show is dark and violent. I don't recommend it lightly, in fact I thought about quitting this show before it was over. I did finish it though. Its story and characters cut to the core questions of humanity and morality; even though it was an uncomfortable journey I'm glad I watched it through.

Favorite Movie: Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings - Surprise surprise, Marvel made another good movie.

Honorable Mentions:

Music: Cold Heart - PNAU Remix - Elton John, Dua Lipa, PNAU

Podcast: A Righteous Strike - The Daily

Podcast: We're on the Precipice of a Post-Roe World - The Ezra Klein Show

Video: 9/21/21 - Demi Adejuyigbe

Let's have a very spooky October, thanks for reading.

[nature-played-a-trick-on-me]

Feel free to skip this whole post guilt free lol but i just. Need to Vent.

literally a whole vent sorry to subject anyone to this but yknow.

idk how my brother turned out relatively functioning bc my parents didn't do shit, my mum treated me like a toy to bring to show and tell and then got depressed and left my dad to do EVERYTHING in the entire house like every single chore. And obviously he couldn't handle that so he just turned to abusing me and my brother and I happened to get the worst of it.

My dad would take the inner door handle off my door and just lock me up because I'd cry and he didn't know what to do about me and locking me up was easiest. And then I'd start screaming and he'd barge in and beat me up. Which obviously made me eventually try not to cry and then get hysterical when I did cry. Great!!!!!

And then he got a sick girlfriend who hated my behavior and she'd force me to apologize. And she'd sum up everything I did wrong for an hour until she would get so angry she'd start to shake and swear and scream. And I'd get upset and get hysterical and yeeted to my room, to be made to apologize the next evening. She has spat in my face as she talked and dragged my around by my tshirt, pushed me against the wall, waved a fist in my face.

And eventually she banned me from being at breakfast and banned me from being at home during the daytime and I started feeling ill and staying home from school and hiding out at home. Developed chronic pain and bizarre headaches and all hell on earth. School knew, did nothing. Eventually got kicked out to live with my mum.

Who is insane and who spent hours telling me my dad was abusive and completely ignoring her role in things and shouting and screaming when I asked her to stop. The neighbors called the police multiple times and my mother always lied and no one did anything

And my mental and physical health got worse and I stopped going to school and eventually managed to get myself into a clinic. Someone at the clinic told my dad off for threatening to hit me, she was sooooo angry when I told her. The disbelief on her face. He was so offended when she scolded him.

I ended up in a group home where there was never any time and no one knew what was wrong with me anyways so I'd still end up screaming in my room, embarrassing myself to the entire world and being scolded for it too. Some lady tried to be soft and kind and make tea and sit in the living room with the tea to wait until I'd "calmed down"..... I'd never calm down and only got more upset because now there was someone threatening me from behind the door, I'd only calm down once I was so tired I could do it anymore. I've screamed so loud that I burst blood vessels in my face and neck and gave myself tinnitus. I'd be too afraid to leave my room and would often sit with my back against the door, which is how I ended up damaging my elbows to the point of nerve damage. I don't think I learnt to regulate my emotions as a child/toddler, which is just humiliating.

I only realized I probably had trauma after I moved into my own apartment and got extremely scared when my neighbor across the hall would come home and I'd felt compelled to shut off my TV and drop what I was doing. Started getting nightmares.

Managed to see my GP and ask for therapy which I got and then I had therapy for 6 months where my therapist suggested I dissociated during sessions, which he never mentioned again after I said that no, the outside world doesn't start to sound far away - which doesn't actually mean I'm not dissociating, I don't think a person who is present could sit still for 30 minutes and not respond and not think and not "feel bored". I felt nothing and couldn't think, couldn't express what things I did feel or felt I needed.

My therapist would call my name and ask me to look at him which only made it worse because it turns out I'd dissociate during the girlfriends shouting matches and she and my dad would try to get my attention again by calling my name etc. So calling my name and asking for eye contact would only make me space out more.

Therapist suggested to just quit therapy and focus on other aspects of life, so I joined the sports club and spent time with friends which sort of helped but didn't reduce trauma symptom. Plus chaos ensued at the group home and I moved out and into a different place because I couldn't take the stress of constant fights and shouting matches.

The peace and quiet here did me some good, and having my own front door helps a lot. Started school again because endlessly sitting at home was making me worse. School is stressful but also fulfilling, seeing people is helpful. But making friends is terrifying. I asked a classmate to hang out and then had multiple dreams about him assaulting me. I feel like a burden all the time.

I overcompensate by trying to talk about my own problems as little as possible, or only of a sanitized version of my problems that I can tolerate to share.

Instead of emotional regulation skills I rationalize everything which doesn't help me at all. Makes me look very grown up to the people around me but it doesn't help me.

I'm lonely in the sense of needing someone capable to help me with things, my parents not being able to help me and professionals not having time. I got sexually assaulted at some point (not by a therapist or something lol) and then later got intimidated by someone else and it's lodged itself into my head. I'm too afraid to go to any appointment alone.

I once went to the orthodontist alone and got overwhelmed and asked the woman to stop and she snapped at me and I cried in the chair. She looked at me like I was acting like a child.

I never in those 6 months therapy was alone with my therapist and I wouldn't have been able to cope. (I had a physiotherapist saw me spasm at her touch and she told me to get a boyfriend to get over my touch aversion)

i was supposed to get EMDR when i was a young teen and i was supposed to get it when i was 18 and i never got anything at all.

Now I need to see the dentist and I've had to reschedule my appointment twice because no one from the staff from the place i live at could come with me. I dreamt about my teeth falling out because no one could go with me. Which is of course over dramatic but I do feel so pathetic about not being able to go to appointments alone. And there's no time to go to my appointments with me. never mind there being time to go to therapy with me, which mightn't even work because i dissociate and no one knows how to get me out.

I dissociated in the office while, wait for it, trying to write an email to a teacher with someone who was pushy and who kept interrupting me. Instead of someone taking the time to sit down next to me, calmly and without expectations, I was just repeatedly told to leave until they decided to grab me by both arms and drag me out of the office. Not to mention calling my name a hundred times and asking for eye contact a thousand times.

i had those issues with the debating and had to send a horribly embarrassing email to my teacher explaining why i couldnt do the debate and she just ignored it, and then questioned me about my past while i spaced out, acutely aware of how this would only make her more angry while being unable to do anything about it.

i later emailed my mentor about it and ive just been feeling so incredibly ashamed ever since. i just feel so pathetic. in the first test week i learnt that you werent allowed to leave the classroom at certain times and i asked my mentor how strict the rules were and he said that they werent really enforced and then asked me whether being unable to leave the room 'frightened me'. i wish i'd never talked so much with him about cps and special education. i didnt share much about home but we saw the same documentary about a young man who was abused for years, who went into therapy etc. i dont want my mentor to see anything of him in me.

(he has to talk to his students at the end of each semester, and he always chooses to sit in the little office where one of the walls is really just one window looking out into the main hall, so those appointments aren't threatening and it's weird to know that was a conscious choice. he has all his student appointments there but other teachers use different offices, theyre free to choose.)

lol i just want to be normal but i cant even do simple things. im constantly stressed, i think hypervigilance is the word. i dont know how to get out of it. idk how to cope with the fact that feeling like this will just be my life.

if i dont trust a dentist during a checkup, how can i ever date. i just feel so ashamed about all that too. i'd be intolerable to have a relationship with. imagine dating someone who has nightmares about you assaulting them. imagine dating someone who'll occasionally flinch at you touching them and who is sometimes afraid of you for small things you did but that aren't things to be freaked out by at all. you'd just start to feel guilty.

like literally what aspect of my life is still standing???? none. my grades are good i guess but they will be floored by oral exams :):)

[trippz2ill2ace8itout]

⭐🥀TRIGGER WARNING!!

Introducing Last Night At 3AM. I Lost Control. Yet Another Breakdown, I Had about 30 breakdowns. No pity sympathy or attention. && NO I WAS NOT ON DRUGS! I'm over 1 year sober. Alvaro took over (one of my demons/alters) && Dancing Fire (another one) possessed me to the point I almost got a cop call. I don't wanna be a burden &: I wanna save fix care support be there for everyone and everything. I'm sick of being alive. But I can't do anything stupid cuz of me getting concerved to a state institution (which is way different than a mental hospital) cuz I've been in 215 mental hospitals & got diagnosed Critically/Clinically Insane plus over 10+ mental hospitals. All I have is my mom. The breakdowns the vivid flashbacks the mental illnesses getting 10x worse. No treatment will take me cuz I've been to all of them to many times. I can't process anything. My mind imprisons me. I dissociate 89 to 99% of the day. I've been thru every single sorts of treatments/medication I've had trauma 24/7 from 2001-2018. I'm losing my mind. And everyday it's the same thing and people get tired of hearing it.I'm so done with dealing with this everyday. I don't need sympathy. I just don't know man. My mom&& lil brother doesn't want me home, I can't explain what's wrong or going on. I don't wanna be a burden. I'm sorry man. I wanted to self harm again but I didn't. Imagine all my mental illnesses multiplied by 10. Imagine EVERYDAY HAVING VIVID FLASHBACKS AND 22+ Mental Breakdowns a day. I.am sorry if I'm negative. I'm sorry. I just wanna save and fix the world. When people ask me "how are u" idk how much reply. I'm sick of my mind. I feel like darkness is controlling me. I pray A LOT. Alvaro literally possesses me and gets in my body. I have mostly every mental health diagnosis there is. And NO I'M NOT PROUD OF IT I'M NOT BRAGGING OR GLORIFYING It. I just wanna help everyone and everything. Along the my mental health, I have autism, narcolepsy anorexia Etc. My diagnosis list is so long and I don't wanna be known for that. I can't even leave my house. When ever I feel a lil bit better, here comes Alvaro. But again I don't wanna be a burden. It's my job to be there for everyone else NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND. I can't take this anymore. No pity sympathy or attention. I can't seek help cuz then they'll send me to a institution cuz I've been in to many mental hospitals. I'm doing the best I can. But I'm about to snap. I can't function. And I'm getting worse. I don't want attention I want to be OK. I've dealt with all this hell most of my life. It's hard to explain. On top of that. My physical state is getting worse. I'm finding more reasons to die than to live. I'm over 1 year sober. I'm a huge hypocrite when it comes out taking my own advice. I don't love myself. But i am over caring sensitive and I help obsessively. I repeat myself idk I'm just not OK. I'm losing contact with reality. I'm scared to keep going. But I got this.🥀⭐

🥀⭐Your Enough

Your Worth It.

Your Life Has Purpose

This To Shall Pass

Im here for all y'all in anyway I possibly can.

I'm sorry if I'm annoying. I'm sorry

Stay Strong && Keep Breathing ⭐🥀

🌙🌙🔥🔥🖤🖤🥀🥀HUGE TRIGGER WARNING🥀🥀🖤🖤🔥🔥🌙🌙

🥀🥀🔥🔥Hey my name is Izzy && I'm a recovering drug addict && alcoholic with over 1 year sober. This is the longest I've been sober being out of treatment. I've used mostly every drug there is. Being homeless 13 times. In 215 mental hospitals. In 3 foster homes (2 out of 3 were abusive) group homes, unlocked and locked treatment centers, rehabs shelters, crisis centers. Short and long term treatment centers. Which none will take me back cuz I've been there to many times. I've sold myself && got tortured abused raped drugged up for drugs and money to raise my unbio son, Anthony. I lost custody cuz of false accusations. I've had multiple near death experiences (some were suicide attempts && some were naturally done) my drug of choice was meth. I've had trauma 24/7 from 2001-2018, over 10+ mental illnesses. Some were caused from a few bad trips on PCP that I never came back from. I was sleeping anywhere I could rest my head, I had to be alert at all times. Tbh I havent been to a meeting in awhile. My sponsor is like family to me. I'm redoing all my steps. I'm on step 2. I've lost a shit ton of people to drugs and I was literally getting cop calls everyday. Drugs messed with my life. And having this much clean time is amazing. Most of my life I've gotten abused raped, literally tortured and drugged up. Sold. Prostituted, almost killed. But no pity sympathy or attention pls. Any clean time is good time. And I'm proud of all of you in recovery drug addiction is a special kinda hell. Drugs become your priority and your best friend. I got tortured on the daily by people coming in one by one torturing me from orders from Kimberly (my ex fiance who hung herself in front of me) it was one by one. I got so caught on in drugs that it was the only way I knew. I used to numb the pain. I'm so blessed I found God again. Now I have 22+ mental breakdowns a day every day. I found out it had a lot to do with my drug use.🔥🔥🥀🥀

🥀🖤Thank you for breathing even when u wanted to die. Drugs kill you. There's nothing about it to be proud of its serious. You Matter Yo Important Yo A Someone Yo Enough Yo Worth It Yo Have A Purpose, Yo Have A Story, A Message, A Voice, A Reason, Yo A Warrior, A Soldier, A Survivor, A Fighter. You Are U && NoOne Can Be You, But YOU. Your Life Matters YOU MATTER, Yo Life Has Value &% I'm Glad Your Alive. Thank U For Being Alive. People say that I help everyone and everything obsessively && I don't stop. It's very true. This is a shout out to my unbio son that I raised as my own, Anthony Castillo-Martinez, I met him at one of the many abusive foster homes. Where it was owned illegally by Andrea/Angela && Jimmy Miller. We got tortured daily. They were not licensed foster parents. I met Lil Toni there and I escaped with him to meet up with Kimberly. We lived in a run down hotel in LA. I became homeless again. Toni got me through so much and even tho I can't find him (he's been gone for years) your my lil baby. I will always love u. U are my world and one day I hope to see u again. I hope you have a good home now. Going to school. Just doing well in general. And I'm sorry for you witnessing what Kimberly was doing to me. I love u babes with all my heart. 🖤🥀

🖤🔥🥀I failed Cedar House twice. This was a rehab in San Bernardino, California. I lied my way out. And I regret it. Funny thing is I already read the entire NA Basic Text && The AA Big Book. I have multiple sobriety apps on my phone and I have an app that that has NA && AA Speakers on it. I'm reading the How && Why and I'm so proud of myself && I couldn't have got this far without my sponsor, Jaclyn. She understands me better than any sponsor I've had in recovery. Here's a list of my mental disorders, some were caused Or made worse by drugs and alcohol🥀🔥🖤

🌙🔥🔥Schizo-Affective, Bipolar

ADHD, OLD, ODD,

PTSD, Insomnia

Depression, Anorexia

Anxiety, Autism

Borderline Personality Disorder

Severe Brain Damage

Attachment Disorder

Dissociative Identity Fund..

Multiple Personality Disorder

Narcolepsy, Critically/Clinically Insane🔥🔥🌙

🖤🥀Listen I don't need your pity, sympathy or attention these were all diagnosed by over 5 psychiatrists, and diagnosed "Insane" by over 10 doctors. DO NOT SELF DIAGNOSE!!!! Anyways. I attempted suicide over 100 times. Self harmed in anyway possible. They say I'm the most high maintenance case in the system of California. And the next time I go to a mental hospital I'm getting sent to a state institution. I would do anything to get drugs. Jeremy && Izzie Baraz were my street partners. They both passed away. All I have left in blood family is my mom and brother. My mom. Says if I pick up drugs one more time I'm never aloud back in her house. My dad injected me with meth and heroin at age 9, he also tortured me daily. He passed away in 2011. I'm glad he's dead. But I take full responsibility for my drug and alcohol habits. And I hope I never go back. One Day At A Time.🥀🖤

🔥🥀This To Shall Pass, If Not Today There's Always Tomorrow

God, Grant Me The Serenity

To Accept The Things I Cannot Change

The Courage To Change The Things I Can. &&

The Wisdom To Know The Difference

Amen🥀🔥

🔥🔥Keep Coming Back It Works If You Work It🔥🔥

🔥🔥A Moment Of Silence, For The Addict Who Still

Suffers, In And Out Of These Rooms🔥🔥

🔥🔥Staying Clean, Im Never Going Back🔥🔥

🥀🖤I almost relapsed again on New Year's. I almost asked a stranger to buy me Vodka. But God told me to stop.

I'm Always Here 4 All Of You, No matter What.

I'd Do Anything To Keep Y'all Alive && Breathing. To Make U OK. to Save && Fix U && Take Your Pain Away. I Love Y'all. Keep Coming Back.🖤🥀