#I'M SUCH AN IDIOT!!! followed by now now that is not productive let's keep it sexy and mindful

[coquelicoq]

HARROWING: 34yo texts hot stranger, lives to tell tale

[bountydroid]

Darlin’

pt 2

Cooper Howard/The Ghoul x f!reader (right now there is nothing romantic, maybe in the future I am undecided.)

Description: After being captured by some cowboys, reader ends up in front of a ghoul and fearing for her life.

Notes: This is awful I apologize in advance. Please let me know what you think. This is just setting it up for the real story.

I sighed as I stumbled behind my captors. I am not even sure how you ended up in this situation. One day I woke up next to my fire surrounded by three cowboys, smiling menacing at me. Next thing I know my hands are tied and I am being forced to follow them everywhere. I heard them talking about a "last bounty" and rolled my eyes. I know their type, there is never really a last bounty.

It was night-time as we made our way to the graveyard, I was so tense you shuffled stiffly behind their leader as he tugged on the rope connecting the two of you.

"He's the best bounty hunter there is." Their leader rambles on. To be honest, I wasn't listening.

"How do we know which grave?" One of his companions asked.

"Well, Slim we look for the fresh one." He responded. "Dom Pedro has our friend dug up once a year. Cuts some pieces off and then puts him right back in the ground."

"That's awful," I mumble.

The four of us stop in front of the graveyard and see a cross with two bags of Rad-X hung above it. "Bingo." Their leader says.

"Shit." Slim replies. "You are telling me the supreme badass we're looking for is a godforsaken mutant?"

"Are you really going to let out a ghoul?" I asked, exasperated by the whole ordeal.

"Have some respec'!" Their leader interrupted. "That is your prospective coworker you's talking about Slim. And our ticket to a big payoff. And you -" He said turning around to me, "You's better keep your mouth shut. Who knows what he does with little girls like you? I imagine we will let him do whatever he likes." He growled.

"I thought you said you knew this guy?" His other companion asked.

"I said I knew of him. My pop worked with him once." He shrugged.

"Your pop?" His companion asked breathlessly. "How long's this asshole been moulderin' in the ground?"

"How do we know he's not feral?" Slim asked, obviously afraid.

"That is why we brought our little friend." Their leader said as he pulled out a cage with a chicken in it from behind his poncho. "A feral ghoul can't abide a chicken. If he goes for her, we kill him."

"Just like that?" I asked dryly. I knew this band of idiots barely stood a chance, and that this was likely where I would die.

"Shut up," Slim said before he grabbed a shovel and started to big. "Should make the bitch dig." He said turning to his friend who just laughed in response.

Some time later they finally had dug up the coffin. It was surrounded by chains, obviously keeping something strong within. I couldn't help the chill that ran up my spine. I looked over at the chicken tied to a stake and couldn't help but wonder, am I bait too? Is that why they brought me here?

The three of them watched with bated breath as they opened the coffin from afar, but I couldn't stand to watch and just kept staring down at the chicken at my feet. Their leader gave the rope tied to the coffin one last tug and it finally swung open.

A ghoul stumbles out of the coffin, groaning and coughing and cracking his bones. He obviously hadn't been let out in a long time. I couldn't help but feel bad for him. If he truly wasn't feral, then there was a person in there.

"Well well well." The ghoul finally spoke. "Why is this an Amish production of The Count of Monte Cristo or… just the weirdest circle jerk i've ever been invited to?"

I couldn't help the snort that escaped my mouth. His attention was then brought to me as I stood mostly hidden behind the leader of the gang.

After a brief silence, the leader started laughing as well, obviously trying to diffuse the tension. "Welcome back. I'm Honcho. Now you don't even know us-"

"No." The ghoul interrupted. "I do not." His gaze then moved down to the chicken. He slowly approached as he licked his lips in anticipation.

The four of us moved back in fear as he picked up the chicken.

"Does that count?" Slim asked. "Should I shoot him?"

"Would you shut the fuck up," Honcho responded. "We-uh, we got a proposition for you." He said as he moved his attention back to the ghoul. "A bounty came down. A huge one. Enough to be a last score for me and whoever's with me. Yeah. Now, somebody made a run from the enclave." He said pulling out a sketch of the bounty and his furry friend.

"Now what makes you think I'd give a good goddamn about that?" The ghoul asked, obviously not interested in the bounty.

It ain't where he's running from I figured you'd be interested in." Honcho said confidently. "It's where he's running to. That witch Moldaver in California. That's where you from ain't it?" He smiled. "Originally I mean."

The ghoul stared him down for a moment. "Now, what the fuck would you know about where I'm from?"

I tried to swallow but my throat was so dry from fear that it was painful. I slowly took a step back from Honcho. I could feel that this was going to go bad quick.

"Well that don't sound like gratitude, do it, boys? Honcho responded with a sour tone in his voice. "How about we put you right back in that hole so Dom Pedro can have his fun with you for the next thirty years?"

The ghoul smirked as he looked between the 3 cowboys, amused with Honcho's confidence. "Well, I'll tell you what boys, whenever somebody says they're doing one last job, that usually means their heart's not in it. Probably never was." He said as he kneeled back down to the chicken. "But for me? Well, I do this shit for the love of the game."

It was barely a second before he had his lasso around Honcho, easily pulling him off his feet and throwing him across the graveyard. I stumbled behind him a couple of feet before the rope he was holding came loose and I fell to the ground. I stayed down and covered my head as I heard gunshots and the two boys falling to the ground. I slowly looked up at the ghoul who was staring down at me with a blank expression before turning his attention back to Honcho.

"You are right, friend, about one thing. This right here? Was your last job." The ghoul said while aiming his gun at the cowboy. "My paycheck wasn't quite what you expected, but, well you know what they say. Us cowpokes.."

"Wait! The girl! I brought her for you! Thought you might be hungry." Honcho mumbled around the rope in his mouth. I was barely able to understand him, but it looked like the ghoul did.

He stopped and turned around to look at me again. I stared back at him in horror, still on my stomach in the mud. "Well, that's no way to treat a lady." He smiled threateningly before turning back to his target, shooting the rope holding up his coffin, and watched as it dragged Honcho into the ground. "Us cowpokes, we take it as it comes." He finished.

Without a word he picked up his bag, threw it over his shoulder, and walked right past me.

I don't know what came over me at that moment, but I knew that I didn't want to be left alone. "Wait!" I said before I even knew what I was doing.

He stopped in his tracks but didn't turn around to look at me.

"I'll die out here on my own," I whispered. "I could lead you to the bounty. There is information that the idiots didn't share with you. I could help."

At this, he turned to look at me and crouched in front of my kneeling body. "I know exactly where I am going darlin'." He responded. "I don't need your help."

"But I do!" I said as I gave him the best puppy dog eyes I could muster as I held up my still-bound wrists.

He scoffed before looking up at the sky. "No." He said before getting up and walking away.

[hannie-dul-set]

THE BOY WHO CRIED WOLF.

p — CHOI BEOMGYU x gn! reader. g — humor, fluff. w — swearing, beomgyu is embarrassing but that's nothing new with my recent works. 1.6k words.

note — inspired by this post. i'm supposed to be studying rn.

everyone in your department knows that choi beomgyu is not to be trusted.

no, it’s not like he scams people with overpriced products on the university buy and sell forum. he doesn’t give you wrong answers during tests to fuck you over. he isn’t seeing multiple people at once behind their backs like a shitty fuckboy, either.

but when choi beomgyu tells you that there’s a buy one take one promo at the coffee shop near campus, you should probably think twice before rallying your friends over because of your shared coffee addiction. it’s the reason why hueningkai showed up to a department party last month wearing a penguin costume when the theme was business-casual. it’s the reason why choi yeonjun sends a string of curses to the group chat bi-weekly because he’s told that there’s a quiz today, only to arrive at an empty classroom.

it’s all harmless. it’s all fun and games and for a good laugh— but nevertheless, everyone knows to think twice before listening to the honeyed words that fall from choi beomgyu’s mouth. the problem is, the bastard is charismatic and he knows it. “he’s weaponizing his pretty face like a motherfucking gun,” you mentioned to soobin one time. so even if people are ware that he’s slimy little bitch that likes to fuck around a lot, they still listen to what he says. even when in doubt.

well, they’re all fucking stupid.

“hey, let’s compare hand sizes!”

and you refuse to be branded as a gullible idiot, too.

“what?”

the sandwich you’re having for lunch suddenly feels dry on your tongue. “gimme your hand,” he insists, and you narrow your eyes at him. what...what the fuck is this bastard trying to do? “i wanna know whose is bigger.”

now, that’s a familiar line. it almost made your heart flutter when he’s batting his eyes at you so expectantly with that pretty face of his from across the cafeteria table, the fingers of his right palm outstretched and ready to catch yours upon your consent.

almost. but there’s no way in hell you’re humoring his dumb ass.

“sure,” you respond. and, after wiping your lips with a napkin, offer out your open palm for him in the air.

his face brightens— a tiny smile pulling at his lips.

beomgyu reaches out for your hand. before he can press his palms against yours, you quickly fold it into a middle finger.

it’s almost funny how his expression quickly tumbles into despair.

“eat shit, motherfucker.”

you clean up your tray and leave your dumbfounded friend behind. you have no idea what his intentions with that was, but you aren’t risking making a fool out of yourself at the suggestion that beomgyu might be trying to (pathetically) hit on you. he’s probably just concocting some more mischief— especially since you’re one of the people he has yet to victimize with his dumb jokes.

so you’re not surprised when he makes another attempt. but what you don’t understand is why he keeps trying to hold your hand.

“booooring. this class is so boring.”

he’s sitting next to you inside the lecture hall. so far, not that out of the ordinary. you do your best to catch up with your professor’s discussion, but from the corner of your eyes you see beomgyu finally giving up and melting his head into the desk, burying his face into his arms. “this sucks,” he muffles, before craning his head and you can feel him staring at you from below. “aren’t you bored?”

“i’m trying to pay attention, beomgyu.”

“pay attention to me,” he whines. “i’m bored. let me scribble on your hand to pass—”

“please shut the fuck up.”

at some point, it’s starting to confuse you more than annoy you. all signs lead to a boy simply trying to get the attention of his crush, but this is choi beomgyu you’re talking about. you just can’t trust him. not even when he always tries to follow you around in the hallways. not even when he drops a warm latte at your desk every 7AM class.

“i know how to do palm reading. do you wanna—”

“i’m not superstitious,” you immediately put up your shield to his spear. “thanks for the coffee.”

you really don’t understand him.

“there was a hit and run incident yesterday. you should hold onto me just to be—”

“red light. let’s go.”

you seriously don’t fucking get him.

“aaaah! i’m falling! grab my hand, i’m falling to my death!”

what the hell is he trying to do?!

“beomgyu, it’s a four-foot deep pool,” you deadpan, face flushed and it’s definitely not just from the heat of the sun. he perishes into the water with a splash. my god, what’s going on with him? you shake your head, trying to ward off an incoming headache. 

really. if this wasn’t beomgyu doing this shit, you’d be a hundred-percent convinced that he’s trying to make a move on you. that he likes you and is trying his stupidest to catch your attention. but it is beomgyu, and everyone knows he can’t be trusted unless you want to be laughed at. being this week’s joke isn’t on your bucket list. so no matter how many more attempts he’s going to make, you will be impenetrable. you will not be fooled.

“hey.”

that is until he shows up all serious in front of your classroom the next week. 

students are pouring out from the door, and you’re a heavy obstacle from their rush to go home because for some reason, choi beomgyu is there— also obstructing the traffic flow in the hallway. 

“what is it now?” you cross your arms, narrowing your eyes at the worryingly large bouquet he has in his arms. “are your hands cold? do you want me to hold them to keep you warm?”

“that would be nice,” he replies. you seriously want to hit him. “but, no. that’s not what i’m here for. i decided that it might be best to stop asking for your hand because you might actually punch me this time.” this is a public area, you’d like to remind him. and that dangerously constructed statement of his is eliciting murmurs from the passersby surrounding you. you feel your face flush. 

“if you phrase it like that, people are going to get the wrong idea.”

“let them misunderstand, i don’t really care,” he shrugs. “what i care about is clearing up the misunderstanding between you and me. i don’t think we’ve been on the same page for the past few weeks.”

you furrow your brows. “what are you getting at?”

“taehyun told me that you think i’ve just been fucking around with you,” he says. “and i have to admit that i definitely have nothing to blame but myself and my reputation. but i want to tell you that i have been seriously, seriously serious about you.”

“sure,” you snort. “i definitely trust you, beomgyu.”

he frowns. “dammit, taehyun was right. you really don’t trust me.”

what did he expect? for the past year and a half that you’ve known him, he’s been nothing but unserious and troublesome. beomgyu brings mischief wherever he goes and you don’t want to make a misstep and be caught in that shitstorm— not even when your heart is racing a little too fast for comfort at the moment. not even when those flowers actually look really pretty.

“but i expected this. i’ve come prepared,” beomgyu tells you. what is it this time? you exhale. had he been normal, you might’ve trusted him at his first attempt to shoot his shot with you. “i’ve come to the conclusion that in order to get your trust, i need to stop messing around with everyone. and that begins with being completely, absolutely, unapologetically honest.”

again, this is a public area. people are staring and you’re starting to get a bad feeling.

“i’m in love with you.”

holy shit.

“i’ve been in love with you ever since taehyun introduced us to each other, i think.”

there’s fire somewhere. 

“that was over a year ago!”

that somewhere is your face.

“yeah, and?” he raises a brow. “that means i’ve liked you for over a year. i can do the math. i’m not stupid.” you want to throw yourself into a ditch and die.

“beomgyu, tell me you’re kidding.” not even your hands can fan out the inferno overtaking your face right now. somehow, there’s a lot more people around you than you remember, and while you’re suffering from a sudden onslaught of unprovoked feelings, beomgyu looks relatively unfazed. “you can’t be serious. if you’ve liked me for that long, then why haven’t you done anything until recently?!”

“funny story,” he starts. there is nothing funny about this at all. “i didn’t think i had a chance until soobin hyung told me you thought i was pretty the other week.”

soobin, that fucking rat. 

the context wasn’t even a positive one! you said he was using his pretty face for evil!

“i—” 

like what he’s doing now.

the words get stuck in your throat when you notice that beomgyu actually looks earnest. he’s not smiling or laughing— but patiently waiting for you to say something in response. your mouth is dry. your ribcage is shaking. it doesn’t fucking help that there’s three dozen people watching the scene unfold. couldn’t he have chosen a more appropriate place to pour his fucking heart out?

“you know what, let’s go.”

it’s an act of impulse. you quickly grab him by the hand and lead him away from the crowded hallway with hurried steps. “damn,” he says, trailing from behind you. “i didn’t have to try and convince you this time.”

what’s ironic is that this is the most honest you’ve ever felt of him. his palms are clammy and slipping through your fingers. he’s making jokes, but his desperate squeeze is telling you more than what he’s actually saying. “everyone knows to think twice before listening to me. but everyone also now knows that i’m pretty much in love with you, so that’s a win for me.”

THE BOY WHO CRIED WOLF. © hannie-dul-set, 2023.

[irisintheafterglow]

hello…………..kiyoomi crumbs pls

ASK AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE

*patting the hood of a car* this bad boy can hold so much bf!sakusa

cw: swearing and the msby jackals being idiots

you checked your phone again and prayed you weren't keeping him waiting for a long time.

"hi, is omi still in there?"

"he should be just about finishing up, but you can go ahead. you know your way around the place by now," the security guard states warmly, giving you the go-ahead to navigate the back halls of the gym to the men's locker room. even if you did find yourself lost, it'd be easy to get to your destination by simply following the banter of your boyfriend's three very spirited teammates. their voices grow louder with every step and you have to stifle a laugh when you start to pick up the bits and pieces of their conversations.

"and then she told me i was being delusional! can you imagine? me? delusional?"

"remind us all when you met this girl, atsumu?"

"...last week."

"dare i say, she has a point," deadpans the smooth, low voice of your boyfriend. he always knew the best ways to press atsumu's buttons, making it very difficult to invite his friends over for dinner without harmless arguing occurring at the kitchen table. "it's okay; i'm sure you'll find another 'love of your life' next week."

"shoyo, the fuck are you doin' with my shirt?"

"can you all please put clothes on? if sakusa's partner walks in here and all of you are naked-"

"i'm not naked!"

"we know you're not, bokuto, but atsumu needs to put his tits away before i cut them off with scissors," kiyoomi quips and you fail to muffle your snort from around the corner. the room quiets in an instant and you hear a faint fuck before he finally comes to find you. he's still slightly sweaty from practice, all toned muscle and messy hair and bright eyes that only twinkle for you. "hi, beautiful."

"hey, handsome. you done threatening physical violence in there?" your eyebrow quirks in question and he shakes his head tiredly, tugging you into him by the belt loops of your pants. your arms rest on his shoulders, brushing stray curls from his forehead.

"not yet. i still have some unfinished business."

"mmm, with razors, i hear." you nod in solemn understanding and his mouth quirks into a half-smile, another expression of his that was reserved only for you. his lips press a kiss to your temple in a rare show of public affection, inhaling your presence with his eyes shut contentedly. "i could be wrong, but a federal offense will probably screw up your olympic prospects."

"if you tell me to do it, i'll do it," he murmurs absentmindedly and you chuckle under your breath.

"what, murder atsumu or not murder atsumu?"

"dealer's choice." he places one more kiss on your nose before resting his forehead against yours like he'd been away from you for decades. to you, it was a few hours; but, to him, it felt like a century. "i missed you a lot."

"i can tell. you're very affectionate tonight." his forehead scrunches in confusion at the implication of your statement.

"what am i, a cat?" the incredulity in his voice makes you giggle and, despite his best efforts to remain stoic, you can tell he's fighting back a smile too.

"in some ways, yes. you do tend to leave hair all over our couch, and you make a lot of noise when you're hungry." he makes a proud noise in the back of his throat and lightly pinches the flesh of your sides in defiance.

"i'll buy us a new one if you want me to," he promises. you stopped sharing product ads with omi on instagram because he tended to buy you anything that you sent him, even if it was just a funny little trinket you saw on an etsy shop. these items included but were not limited to stationary, plushies, athleticwear, and, of course, furniture.

"you don't need to do that."

"maybe i already have."

"thanks for letting me know that your newest love language is buying me a sofa."

"my love language is doing whatever you want me to do, angel." you both jump when a loud crash comes from the locker room around the corner, followed by hinata's panicked rambling and bokuto saying "that was fucking epic!" atsumu, you'd guess, is either the culprit or the object that caused the crash. you gently push omi's sturdy shoulders away and he groans in protest. "do i have to?"

"wrangle your team, put some proper clothes on, and take me to dinner, lover boy."

"as you wish."

if you enjoy my writing and would like to support me, you can buy me a coffee on my ko-fi! you can also check out my full masterlist here :)

[slightlymore]

that's tmi

bangchan x fem reader

genre: friends/idiots suddenly get the hots and are about to fuck based on the "I'm not wearing anything under this robe" mf chris in today's live wrote it frantically on my phone like a dog with rabies thanks take it

words: 1.2k

"Don't say anything," you warned, arms crossed on your chest and furrowed eyebrows.

Chris was still hand on the handle, blank face which slowly started to shake from the effort of keeping in the laugh.

"Only you could-" he tried but you shushed him.

He stopped, sucking in the lips and looking upwards, as if your face was the main reason for his exhilaration.

"Only-" he exhaled in a choked voice.

"I said-" but you couldn't continue, the laugh vibrating in your lungs. You felt tears prick your eyes.

Chris let it out as well, gasping for air at the trail of bubbles you let down on his carpet after you lightly pushed him out of the way.

His hotel room was identical to yours, so you knew exactly where to find the bathroom and finally rinse your hair.

Chris was still laughing as he followed you and you saw him lean on the door frame with the corner of your eyes, your back bent and head upside down in the bathtub.

"How did it even happen?"

"Listen-," you tried to talk but it was difficult and the blood was gathering all in your brain because of the position, "it's not my fault I wanted to wash my hair right when my food got delivered."

"Why the hell did you even go outside? Open the door and grab it."

You huffed from the effort, and lifted your wet head back up. You blinked slowly, unable to tell if the little black stars were really there or only in your head.

"I don't want to hear it."

"Oh you're going to hear it," Chris cackled, passing you a towel. "Loser getting locked out of her hotel room with shampoo in her hair."

You hit him with the towel once making him giggle and wrapped your head.

"You don't have a microfiber towel or something?"

"Microfiber or something," Chris mocked you. "You're lucky I even opened the door."

"You aggravate me."

Chris looked at you with his complacent smile.

"That's a weird way to say thank you for saving my sorry ass."

"You don't have any hair product either, I guess," you ignored him and looked around his room as if you could see something laying around.

Well, you did notice something - his clothes thrown on the padded chair in the same manner you got rid of yours - and you lifted one eyebrow. Then you eyed him from head to toe.

"Are you naked under that robe?"

Chris imitated your expression.

"Of course I am naked under this robe."

"Okay that's TMI."

He scoffed incredulously. "You literally just asked. Don't piss me off."

You gave him another quick look and shrugged, grabbing one of his waters and taking it to your mouth.

Chris shook his head like a disappointed father at your play and leaned to get his phone.

But your next movement made him drop it on the couch.

His fingers were around your wrist as you quickly tried to untie his robe like a kindergartener. The giggles you both started to make just added to the highly mature air of the room.

"Don't you fucking dare!" he croaked, his other hand now trying to stop your claws snapping towards his robe.

You were about to stop and behave - you weren't 6 afterall - when suddenly Chris dropped your hands and in your misjudgement and arrogance era of 3 seconds you thought that you actually won against him for the first time in something but that he'd totally stop you the second you'd even touch the tie.

He didn't.

Your fingers unwrapped his waist and the robe opened right in front of you.

"You-" your gaze snapped to his face so quickly that you felt your eyes almost fall out of their orbit.

Chris' eyes were wide open just like yours and the silence of the room made your growling stomach sound even more comical.

And in the same instant Chris got calm and he grinned.

The bastard.

"Go ahead and look," he dared you.

The heat traveled so fast to your face and chest that you felt your hair steaming and getting dry on the spot.

"-you cunt," you finished.

Chris laughed, throwing his head back for a moment. "I am the cunt? You started this," he replied. Then his eyes darkened and if you weren't so set on staring exclusively at his face and nothing else, you wouldn't have noticed it. "Now commit," he finished.

A shiver shook your spine and you swallowed.

Your towel fell from your head to the ground and some water drops hit your neck.

Then with horror you remembered that you also weren't wearing anything under your silk robe.

Why it came to mind? Because Chris' eyes got drawn to your chest the same instant you felt your nipples hardening and poking the material.

"Pervert," you crossed your arms on them but your voice wasn't as confident as before and the quiver in it made him step forward with that stupidly sexy grin of his.

You wanted to get away but you were afraid to see anything if you moved, so you just remained glued in place.

"I am wearing boxers. You can chill," he turned his head to the side with a languid smile.

You gathered the last remnants of brain cells to roll your eyes quickly. "As if I'd trust you."

He looked at your wet hair then whatever expression you had on, then his gaze trailed down to your collarbones gently getting wet by the drops who lingered before sliding inside your cleavage.

You felt your skin getting goosebumps and you forced yourself to gulp the gasp as his arms moved.

He tied his robe.

But somehow it didn't make you feel any better.

It was too hot in his damn room.

"Can I untie yours?"

It was a joke. It must have been a joke. Just banter between two clowns, as usual.

"Just to make it fair," he added.

The words were light-hearted but why was the tone making your knees tremble a bit?

Your gaze fell on his chest, now half covered by the fluffy robe. He was as close as to hit you with his warm breath. The thought made your nipples harden again.

"Untie it. As if I care," you tried to put in as much brattiness as you could have but there was none left in your voice. It sounded more like a plea, a whisper.

Chris chuckled softly and his hand moved towards your abdomen. His fingers touched the bow you made.

You gulped.

"Arms down," he ordered and as if they didn't belong to you, you let them swing on your sides.

A single hitch in his breath made you realize he was as bothered about the situation as you were.

Or were you imagining it?

"Look at me," his voice grew low.

You opened your mouth to reply back but nothing came out of it.

He leaned forwards to almost reach your ear with his lips. His hand was still gently playing with your knot.

"I said, look at me."

A single pull. Just a single pull and you'd be naked in front of him.

You couldn't look him in the eyes. Your breath quickened and you felt a bit faint.

"Chris," you exhaled.

His other hand lifted your chin with one knuckle.

"You never listen to me," he said and his light almost scolding tone made you completely quiet, both voice and brain.

Your gazes met and you felt not enough air was entering your body.

He didn't break eye contact for a single moment as with a single pull your robe was open and it slid slowly on your body to your feet.

part 2

[parkerloves]

MYSTERY BOY? GIRL? || Neil Perry x Fem!Reader

MASTERLIST

paring: neil perry x masculine!fem!reader

summary: neil has a partner but he's quite discreet about it, so everyone is confused because they don't even know their gender

fc; maia mitchell + pinterest girls (but picture her as you like)

warnings: modern au and a very confused charlie

note: her user is "weltonismybitch"

neilperry has posted!

liked by weltonismybitch, charliedal and 37 others

neilperry: study... date? idk but it was kinda productive... sometimes

tagged: weltonismybitch

charliedal: WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY DATE?

neilperry: I know girls don't like you that much, but you don't know what a date is?

romeo.like.knox: sassy neil is brutal god

weltonismybitch: next time, try reading instead of being on your phone

neilperry: I'll try next time

weltonismybitch: next time?

neilperry: please?

weltonismybitch: you need me to not fail maths

weltonismybitch has updated a story

liked by neilperry, charliedal and 13 others

caption: he spent half an hour searching for a book he already had a copy in his back

neilperry has replied to your story

you weren't joking about telling everyone

I deserve having fun now that some of your little friends are following me

they won't shut up with question, you know that?

have fun darling xx

charlie and neil's texts

weltonismybith has posted!

liked by neilperry, toddy.anderson and 37 others

weltonismybitch: so the test we have tomorrow is a chess one right? (I need to stop hanging out with this idiot)

tagged: neilperry

neilperry: you were literally the one who brought it in the first place??

weltonismybitch: who said it was for you?

neilperry: if you hate me just say so

weltonismybitch: you're going to lose your pretty privileges if you keep talking

neilperry: sorry ma'am 🫡

charliedal: @toddy.anderson WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

toddy.anderson: liking a friend's post?

charliedal: REALLY? NOT EVEN A PRONOUN?

toddy.anderson: are you blind?

neilperry has posted!

liked by weltonismybitch, charliedal and 37 others

neilperry: okay MAYBE I spend a little too much time with @weltonismybitch

charliedal: I hate you both and I DON'T EVEN KNOW THEM

meeksie: dude calm down, let neil be happy with... whoever this is

pittsie: I'm offended about the fact that he hasn't introduced us yet

neilperry: ... with time

weltonismybitch: and now he doesn't have his own music taste

neilperry: so should I stop listening to your music?

weltonismybitch: if you want to die, sure

weltonismybith has posted!

liked by neilperry, charliedal and 37 others

weltonismybitch: will everyone shut the fuck Up about if it was a boy or a girl who is making out with my boyfriend?

charliedal: good, I don't have to add something else to the list of things I'll have to fight your dad for @neilperry

neilperry: now stop talking about my girl?

meeksie: after meeting her

toddy.anderson: I promise they can be a bit more normal

weltonismybitch: just a bit? not really worth it, I think

romeo.like.knox: we have cigarettes and chocolate

weltonismybitch: when and where?

toddy.anderson has posted a story!

liked by neilperry, charliedal and 13 others

caption: so I can finally share this?

weltonismybitch has replied to your story

you're going to be dead in like 10 seconds

I GOT NEIL'S PERMISSION

so he'll be dead too

run

I love you?

shush

weltonismybitch has posted!

liked by charliedal, neilperry and 23 others

weltonismybitch: pretty weird people, also kinda decent (even though they cheat A LOT)

tagged: neilperry, charliedal, romeo.like.knox, toddy.anderson, meeksie, pittsie

charliedal: I DID NOT CHEAT!

weltonismybitch: liarrr

neilperry: you did cheat meat

charliedal: NOW YOU TAKE HER SIDE? auch

weltonismybitch: he better

meeksie: but be honest, how did HE pulled YOU?

weltonismybitch: good question, idk

neilperry: MEEKS? you're supposed to be my friend

charliedal: NOW YOU FEEL MY PAIN

weltonismybitch: I'm surrounded by idiots god

[onyxisnotuniqueenough]

i have 35 followers on this account.

and while 35 is not a lot, this is the most amount of people i can reach. i should have been doing this sooner but have been FUCKING STUPID about it and have kept silent about it on tumblr to maintain some kind of semblance of escapism for myself here. but my escapism doesn't matter. can palestinians enjoy the luxury of escaping their situation right now? are they LITERALLY able to escape the bombing. nevermind escape, survive any of the tactics pulled by israel to ensure their genocide?

there's a sense of guilt looming over my head telling me that i should be doing more, but in truth, there is not much i can do to help. telling me that i shouldn't take for granted the roof over my head, the safety of my loved ones, food, water, electricity, the ability to literally communicate with the outside world. so let me do the best i can and spread the message with as many people i can.

if you're also wondering what you can do to help, here are some things i am doing and am in the process of doing :

- follow news about gaza through livestreams from the outside : multiple sources have provided access to a livestream of what's going on in gaza. israel has cut off all communication and electricity in gaza and i have a pit in my stomach telling me that they just want no eyes on them for whatever they want to do. all we can do is watch from afar. stay updated.

- watch tiktoks from people who have signed up for the creativity fund on tiktok or similar stuff on other platforms : if you're not able to donate yourself, you can find lots of creators on tiktok using their 5 seconds of YOUR watchtime to donate to help palestine.

- continue sharing, promoting, and "liking" content about palestine : israel is literally doing its best to keep us and palestinians in the dark, metaphorically and literally, from what's happening and what they're planning to do. raise palestinian voices, help them grow, share their stories. everything is forever on the internet ? great. take advantage of that. sharing is a way to ensure that all information we have on the situation stays alive and can't be shadowbanned or deleted or anything. the more people palestinian voices reach, the harder it would be to silence them. it also makes it accessible to anyone and everyone to see the horrors committed by the state of israel, and debunk any fucking idiotic shit their twitter accounts is trying to spew with their photoshopped cartons of milk, their very false infographics and their general flow of lies and propaganda.

- if you can, email or contact your elected representatives. they're...well...supposed to represent you, and their position is more advantaged to get something done. here's a video on tiktok that i found explaining the importance of emails (specifically in canada, bit i'm sure it applies to other places too) :

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMjsax5Qj/

- boycott brands that support or fund israel. now first, let me tell you : the 729 or 871 you find at the beginning of a barcode is not a certain sign the product has been manufactured in israel. this has been debunked since the origin of this lie in 2021 :

https://factcheck.afp.com/social-media-posts-share-misleading-claim-barcode-prefixes-can-show-if-product-made-israel

https://www.google.com/amp/s/thelogicalindian.com/amp/fact-check/barcode-israel-28806

if you have a doubt, fact-check whatever company owns the product to buy, it only takes a few clicks.

second, if you think that boycotting is useless because you're just a grain of sand in the universe : that's absolutely not true. humanity is just a bunch of grains of sand. humanity is a COLLECTIVE. stop thinking your actions don't have an impact. they absolutely do. that's how we've been capable of making such an imapct on companies' stock already!

you probably already know about Starbucks, McDonalds, and Disney. Here are some more companies and brands to stop giving your money to :

- HP : Hewlett Packard helps run the biometric ID system that Israel uses to restrict Palestinian movement.

- Siemens : is complicit in apartheid Israel’s illegal settlement enterprise through its planned construction of the EuroAsia Interconnector. This will link Israel’s electricity grid with Europe’s, allowing illegal settlements on stolen Palestinian land to benefit from Israel-EU trade of electricity produced from fossil gas.

- Puma : Puma sponsors the Israel Football Association, which includes teams in Israel’s illegal settlements on occupied Palestinian land.

- Sodastream (has been bought by Pepsico) : Soda Steam is actively complicit in Israel's policy of displacing the indigenous Bedouin-Palestinian citizens of Israel in the Naqab (Negev). SodaStream have a long history of mistreatment of and discrimination against Palestinian workers.

- Ahava : Ahava cosmetics has its production site, visitor center and main store in an illegal Israeli settlement.

- Sabra : Sabra hummus is a joint venture between PepsiCo and the Strauss Group, an Israeli food company that provides financial support to the Israeli army.

these are the first results that popped up with a simple google search, but that's not all. There's also L'oréal, Garnier, Nestlé, and so many more. it's hard to keep track of all of them and jaw-dropping to see just how many of them are involved and actively supporting Israel.

here are some more links for brands and companies to boycott :

https://bdsmovement.net/get-involved/what-to-boycott

https://www.ethicalconsumer.org/ethicalcampaigns/boycotts

multiple instagram and tiktok pages also

if you've already purchased products from them, obviously, don't throw them away. If any product from one of these companies is absolutely essential or if you don't have any other viable choice, it's understandable. Do your best, and whatever effort you make on your scale is helpful. This is also an opportunity to support local shops and businesses, diy your own beauty products, cook more on your own, and instead of directing your money towards genocide, you could direct to donating to aid-to-palestine charities or literally to your pocket. but honestly, the idea of a 70+year ethnic cleansing and literal genocide should be enough.

- now this seems like the most obvious one so that's why it's the last bullet point : donate to charities that support palestine, sign petitions, etc.

there is footage out there of thousands of trucks that cannot cross palestine/"israel" borders because. well. of israel. these trucks contain food, water and hygiene products that donations were supposed to provide. this is heartbreaking that the help you hoped to provide couldn't reach the people it was supposed to reach. if you're thinking your donation is useless, well, i get it. i am having trouble even saying anything about that, because I myself am worried that it could be useless. But you have to stay hopeful, cause that's all most of us have right now. I would say to absolutely continue donating whatever you can to charities that support palestine, that provide water, food, shelter, and emergency medical care. You have to hope that it'll somehow reach them. You have to hope that it'll somehow stop.

At the time of writing, voting results at the UN General Assembly show a margin of 120!! to 14 (and 45 abstinents) for a ceasefire and immediate humanitarian truce between Palestine and israel. And now while that might seem like amazing news, let's remember that the General Assembly is for non-binding resolutions. FOR A BINDING RESOLUTION, the decision must be made by the Security Council. I'm not gonna explain everything, but the permanent members of the UN Security Council are fucking it over. here's full context :

Also, the letter tO THANK Biden that countless celebrities ??? disappointing too. some names on that list really surprised me, and i'm disappointed that people i have supprted in the past have turned around and thanked biden for supporting a genocide. it's so stupid and disappointing.

of course, feel free to tell me if i've cited the wrong sources, if i've missed something, or have said false info in anyway.

i'd also like to add that arab palestinians are not the only victims and that countless innocent jewish people have also been affected by the genocide. that the press vest has meant norhing so far. and that israel is not looking that closely into who they're killing. as Daniel Hagari said, Israel's method is "destruction, not accuracy."

MY HEART GOES OUT TO ANY VICTIM IN GAZA. IN PALESTINE.

BTW : I am not open to conversation with zionists or pro-israels. keep your anon asks very very very far away from me. i will not lend a ❤️listening ear❤️ to someone who ignores or defends genocide, and i don't see anything wrong with ignoring that kind of rhetoric. fuck you.

[abcwordsurge]

Hii!! I read your intro post and you mentioned liking Ninjago and Romeo & Juliet :D Who are your favorite characters in both and why?

Thank you ☺️

oh! this was a delightful surprise. I just updated my intro post today (well, yesterday as of posting this), and I didn't think anyone would notice haha. thank you for reading it ^_^

I absolutely love both Ninjago and Romeo & Juliet, and honestly it's nice to have an excuse to talk about them on my blog. however, since you asked specifically about favorite characters, this will inevitably be a long one. I can never get myself to shut up about characters.

my favorite Ninjago characters are Nya and Jay (and honorary mention Kai). my favorite Romeo & Juliet characters are probably Mercutio and Benvolio (but I could make a good reason for any of them to be the best haha). very long rant under cut

--

so! let's start with Nya. first, I have to point out that she was horribly mistreated in canon. it was sort of inevitable- since she was "the girl," I feel like the creators felt like a lot of her arc had to be... being the girl? I'm just still a bit disappointed at her missed potential of just, y'know, being a ninja.

that being said, she's a flipping icon and I love her with all of my heart, and every time she's on the screen it makes me smile. granted, I totally project onto her (and her brother, our favorite Kai~), but even if you ignore my personal headcanons of her being aromantic and loveless, she's such a smart, stubborn, and creative character, and I love that for her.

also Jay. I love Jay. I feel like, as a fanfic writer, I treat him the exact opposite of how I treat Nya. every time I write about Nya, I write about her experiences with being aromantic, or her desperation to prove herself, things like that. when I write about Jay, it's like Jay's in love with Cole, or Jay's in love with Nya (actually unrequited love my beloved), or Jay's in love with Kai. (side note- I actually headcanon Kai as aromantic, too, but sometimes I put that headcanon on pause so I can ship him. because oh my god he has such cute ships.) anyway all this to say that Jay's an adorable goofy little guy and I like putting him in situations. (he also has massive angst potential but angst isn't really my forte.)

ok. Romeo & Juliet. before I get into specifics, I must say that the characterization in this play is criminally underrated. if it were released today, it would have leagues of fans obsessing over both Romeo and Juliet, and arguing over whether Romeo is a romantic or just an idiot, and getting into shipping wars (especially Benvolio/Mercutio vs Tybalt/Mercutio- though Bencutio is obviously superior). the fact that it only has 2000 fics on AO3 is a tragedy to rival, well, Romeo & Juliet.

(also- for my WttT followers and moots, if any of you have gotten this far, I have to say that we have very nearly surpassed Romeo & Juliet in number of fics on AO3. keep it up)

now if I was forced to pick favorites in Romeo & Juliet, I would have to say the aforementioned Benvolio and Mercutio- both as a duo and as individuals, they are so flipping wonderful. I saw a local production of Romeo & Juliet over the summer, and ever since then, I have been deathly defensive of them. I will fight over the fact that they're both so well written and well characterized. (I also super love them as a ship- in the production I saw, when Romeo and Juliet met for the first time, there were plenty of duos in the background, slow dancing, and Ben and Merc were dancing together, and I just... I have no words. they're perfect.)

anyway. Benvolio first. Ben is such a big cousin sort of character, iykwim. there's something so tragic about the fact that he tried from the very beginning to get everyone to stop fighting, but no matter what he did or said, he couldn't save them- not his cousin, not his best friend. (I've never seen Hamlet, but I'm told that Benvolio is the Horatio of R&J. Shakespeare knew which archetypes work, I guess.) he's so awesome. I love him

and Mercutio! Merc is just a kid you guys. he's a teenage boy. he's so funny and free spirited and every time I watch R&J, all I can think about is "he's here for a good time, not a long time." because it's so true! his recklessness and immaturity leads to his death! (another theme, perhaps- because while he did sort of bring it upon himself, I would never say it's his fault- but that's a rant for another day.) Merc is just so immediately lovable and his death hurts me the most. his death is the turning point between a mostly light hearted play to the tragedy that we associate with it, and that makes it hurt even more. (and Ben holds him when he dies and Ben is left all alone at the end, and oh my god Shakespeare is famous for a reason.)

so, yeah. this is very long and mostly unedited, sorry. you pushed the right buttons to keep me talking for hours. maybe I'll start posting more about my other fandoms, because this was a lot of fun. thank you so much for asking :D

[exhuastedpigeon]

How did you meet your partner?

Oh man are you ready for the maybe the nerdiest story you've ever heard? be warned, it's kind of long lol.

Back in the day I used to co-host a hockey and baseball podcast with one of my best friends (who I actually met on tumblr through the Sterek fandom). The friend, we shall call her M, is so smart that she got invited to present at a sports analytics conference. We talked a lot about analytics on our podcast, so I was/am very familiar with sports analytics.

She asked me to go with her and on a whim I said yes. The conference was on the west coast so it was a pain to get there, but I'd always wanted to go to a HAC/SAC (hockey analytics conference/sports analytic conference).

The first night there's a social event and M asks if I recognize a guy across the bar and I said 'he looks like every other white guy here, but he's kind of cute'. I thought that would be the end of it. (reader, it was not the end of it).

The next day he sat near us in the hall (not that weird since it wasn't a huge space) and then that night at the social event he slowly made his way over to where I was holding court (I only say it like that because when you put me with a group of people that I'm pretty comfortable around I like to tell stories and keep conversation going).

Eventually he sits down across from me and immediately started roasting me for my choice in hockey team. I did the same thing to him and we were bantering and flirting and it was all very fun, but I didn't think it was going anywhere. Then he bought me a drink and sat down next me when he got back.

(I still didn't think it was going anywhere. I was sharing a hotel with M, he was staying on a friends pullout couch.)

But, like it was meant to be, some other dude came over and tried to start flirting with me by bragging that he was doing a speed talk the next day about how baseball games were getting longer/the product was worse. That guy was an idiot and I told him so because I had just written a piece on how baseball game run times had only increased by 3 minutes over the last decade.

My now partner jumped on the bandwagon and when the guy walked away my now partner turned to me extremely embarrassed because he realized he listened to my podcast while I was roasting the other guy.

We shared a cab back to the conference area with some other people and the next morning we chatted a bit before the lunch break. I had to leave to catch my flight, that should have been the end of our little flirty encounter.

But he followed me on twitter already and DM'd me saying it was nice to put a face to the voice on the podcast and if I was ever in his neck of the woods I should let him know. The next day I worked a 14 hour event at work (after getting home at 2am). I posted on twitter that I was going to pass out, but I would love to wake up to photos of people's pets.

He sent me a bunch of pictures that night and continue doing that for like 8 months. We kept talking, exchanged numbers, started facetiming all the time, and eventually a few months later met up to spend a long weekend together in Toronto.

We met in March, had our first 'date' in May, and got married in November all of the same year. We never would have met if we weren't both giant sports nerds.

anonymously ask you one thing you want to know about me

[sanctaignorantia]

Playing with the fancast thing again!

I woke up with the idea in mind that Tom Ellis should be on IWTV somehow, because I'm an idiot and I like to fancast, but unfortunately as I don't watch many movies and series, my list of actors is limited to a very small circle!

But let's play a little...

Erin Kellyman and Amelia Kellyman as Maharet and Mekare and I don't think I need to tell you why... (The one in the middle is Milly Kellyman and she's an athlete.)

(left) Erin - October 17, 1998 - 1,68m (British)

(right) Amelia - June 6, 1993 - not sure (British)

Tom Ellis - November 17, 1978 - 1,91m (British)... I have no idea who he could play, but like Ben Daniels (Santiago), he's the kind of actor who has the charisma to make you feel sympathy for the devil (if you know what I mean), so he could be something like Santino haha.

May El Calamawy - October 28, 1986 - 1,69m (Egyptian/Palestinian)... I've loved her since I saw her in 'Moon Knight' and thank you Marvel for that, she's a great actress and I'm just in love with her, it's that thing, I just want her in every possible production. I can't say she'd be a good Akasha because I don't think she'd fit that role, so she could be some gender-swapped character or maybe Chrysanthe.

Jameela Jamil - February 25, 1986 - 1,79m (Indian/Pakistani born in UK)... Make her Lydia (Pandora) and make her kick some ass, make Arjun her little dog and in the end she can be with Bianca (I don't think she should be with Marius because he deserves to end up alone).

Eva Green - July 6, 1980 - 1,70m (French/Jewish descent on his mother's side)... How can you live without wanting this woman on your screen? I have no idea who she could be, but make her one of the old ones, a powerful one who puts fear into you, make her kick a lot of ass too.

Charles Dance as Magnus - October 10, 1946 - 1,91m (British)... It's so sad because I can only see Magnus as him, but if Christos Lawton is Magnus in S2 I'll be satisfied too.

Paul Bullion as Thornevald - June 4, 1988 - 1,91m (British)... Come on, he looks so much like Thorne, it's like he's going to start crying at any moment! And I wish the series would not only put Thorne and Cyril together, but make them a couple, because I would love that so much, them being the best clumsy duo at protecting and following Lestat around while being a complete mess, they need to stick together, I love them.

Gillian Anderson or Kristin Bauer van Straten as Gabrielle. To be honest, from the first time I saw Kristin I saw Gabrielle in her.

Gillian Anderson - August 9, 1968 - 1,60m (American/British)

Kristin Bauer van Straten - November 26, 1966 - 1,75 m (American)

Oded Fehr as Nebamun (Gregory) - November 23, 1970 - 1,87m (Israeli)... That crush from 'The Mummy' that you never forget. Gregory being the biggest dad!

I had some funny fancasts for Marius from the moment I read him in 'The Vampire Lestat', but the only two that never left my head were Fawad and Pedro, sorry! Two completely impossible actors, but something in me screamed that Marius should be Latino (crazy) and I unfortunately won't change my mind about that.

Fawad Khan - November 29, 1981- 1,78 m (Pakistani)

Pedro Pascal - April 2, 1975 - 1,80m (Chilean/American)... Every time I read Marius and the image of Pedro pops into my mind, I start to giggle (I love you Pedro!).

Sometimes I see Marius in Adam Cowie too, but unfortunately he's not an actor… June 3, 1988 - 1,88m (British/Model and Dante's face in DMC V).

That's all for now, there are a few other characters that I wish I could fancast, but unfortunately I don't have any references and they are:

Seth. I keep wondering who would be the ideal actor to be the best couple ever with Fareed! (Sorry, I love them too).

Sevraine. Another great woman I wanted kicking ass!

Avicus and Mael. Along with Fareed and Seth, the two of them are the couple I look at and shout "old married couple energy!"

Cyril. Because I want him kissing Thorne on the mouth!!!

Rhoshamandes. Poor dear Rhosh, poorly used in the books, I wish he had the same energy as Ben Daniels as Santiago, an actor who would make you love the great villain and that in the series he is that great villain and not just someone who gradually becomes mediocre.

edit 1)

Mahesh Jadu as Cyril, Khayman or Seth - October 26, 1982 - 1,83m (Australian)... My goodness he's beautiful, isn't he???? >///<

Please reblog with more fancasts!

[wishing-stones]

So I have no idea if this has been asked, but what's everyones opinions on pets? Like if they could get one, what would it be?

I've been reading a killer x reader fic called "Poor Little Meow Meow" and now Killer being a cat skele has given me brain rot. So now I'm curious about what you would think the boys would like!

PLMM is an absolute treasure and if you're following me and haven't read it yet, you should.

By now, everyone should know that Killer loves cats. I have a little AU of the bad sanses with my partner where everyone gets a cat from a litter that Killer picks up and saves from being tossed in a river. They're all different, but mainly, Killer has a huge ginger boy named Satsuma, or Sumo for short. I don't remember the name of Axe's off the top of my head, Dust has a grey cat named Partical, "Party" for short, and Nightmare has a black and white tuxedo boy named Boots. (He didn't originally want the cat so he got a generic name, but did that thing where he says 'It's not my cat but w/e and then ten minutes later is asleep with the cat on his chest.)

But! Outside of that little au;

Killer rehabilitates strays and rehomes them. They mostly stay in his room, but sometimes wander the castle. Nightmare allows this because it's good for Killer's mental state to be able to do something productive and helpful for whatever guilt creeps up on him. Killer is also known to "rescue" cats from kill shelters right in the nick of time and rehome them, too. (Read: steals.) Dust doesn't trust himself with any kind of pet, but wouldn't mind a rat or mouse if Killer didn't bring in strays at random intervals that would threaten one, but he barely takes care of himself... so he doesn't want to potentially neglect an animal. Axe likes animals in general, but similar to Dust, wouldn't want one for fear of accidental neglect. He thinks fish are neat, and watching them swim around is pretty relaxing. Cross is the dog person. He'd want a working breed, one that's not too large, doesn't have a long coat, and is very well trained. A pointer, maybe. He doesn't trust a dog in the castle, though, especially with cats being around at random intervals. Plus, he'd have to take the dog outside and if he ever missed picking up dog shit from the gardens, Nightmare would never let him hear the end of it. Baggs is hard to answer for. I suspect he has little white lab mice that he keeps for various things, but he's pretty nice to them. They're cute, endearing little things. Or a tank of dart frogs, because they're so vividly colored and pleasing to look at. Nightmare doesn't want to take care of a pet because he's responsible for five others already. Adding something that can't really display the same level of cognizance and who needs to be taken outside or have its cage cleaned or litter box, or what have you, is not especially appealing to him. (I do have a little AU where he has an absolutely massive black mastiff named Gloam, who is very handsome and intimidating to look at, but is a total idiot and would sooner bowl you over than bite you.)

[yottakitsune]

You stood at the glass door at the back of your apartment and stared. The woman on the other side was begging to come in, and she swore she would pay you handsomely to let her spend the night as she suggestively pressed her breasts against the pane keeping her out. She said her name was Ava Rice, and she promised she would make your wildest dreams come true. You didn't much care about that and were actually pretty comfortable where you were at in life. However, it was cold, and you offered to let her into the warmth. No payment required.

She gladly accepted the offer, though she looked confused by the concept of "no payment". Everybody wanted something, right? She followed you around until sundown and did everything you did, all the while eagerly accepting anything you offered her. It turned out that you and she shared many interests and hobbies, and when you talked about your thoughts on them, it was like she read your mind and mirrored your thoughts perfectly. By the time night came around, you offered her your bed and said you would sleep on the couch. This was the first time she offered to share something you gave her, and the two of you spent the night in each other's arms.

Over the next few weeks you started dating and she found her way into every facet of your life. She was somehow always on your mind and you couldn't bear being away for long. Only a few short months after that you were married.

Once she was at the altar, you realized that you were staring pretty far up now. She was nearly two feet taller than when you first met. That was weird, but you put it out of your mind. She was yours, and nothing would change that, no matter how big she got.

She always pushed you to get more. To have more ambition. All of her plans and schemes always seemed to involve you taking anything you could.she made you feel like you deserved the world, and every few weeks you would realize she was so much larger than before. Bras that could hold beach balls. Shirts you could use as a tent.

She pushed you to follow a job opportunity in New York one day, and you obeyed without question. You needed that. A better job. A bigger house. A newer car. You craved it all. The job came when all the other applicants disappeared, but you didn't care. It should have been yours to begin with.

Your darling wife seemed to thrive in the Big Apple, seemingly growing larger by the day. "There were so many greedy people," she said. "They were fools. They wanted what they didn't deserve. Not like you. You should take it all, Babe."

You stood on the balcony from your apartment and she bent down to give you a kiss on the head. "I'm off for work, Babe. I'll see you tonight." You didn't know what her job was, or who would hire a green vixen that could boob hat Godzilla, but so long as she brought in more everything you were happy. That was what happiness was, right?

"You did it, Babe!" squealed the titanic fox in delight. Her voice alone shook the apartment building to its foundations, and a good portion of the city found itself buried under her body. "I told you the promotion was yours!" You practically ran the company now, and you were always looking for more opportunities to advance and grow even wealthier and more powerful. Some thought you spent money faster than you made it, but those people were idiots. You made so much more money than they knew.

Every day saw you gain more wealth as your company grew and flourished. You bought out rivals, rebranded their products as your own, and made sure any loophole was exploited to get yourself a bigger share of the pie. Ava couldn't have been happier, either, though she had become so massive that it was a wonder she could even hear you anymore. There wasn't a market on earth you hadn't wormed your way into, and most of the planet was giving you money faster than you could get rid of it buying more stuff.

Sometimes you could see Ava visibly growing and that thrilled you. Now there was even more of your darling wife. More was always better, but you hadn't reached 'best' yet.

One morning you woke up and Ava had doubled in size overnight! It looked like that deal went through and you practically owned the whole world. "I'm almost there," you heard her say. "Almost ready to consume everything. Just a little more." You wondered what she meant by that. It wasn't like she could get big enough to swallow the world, right? You were pretty sure she wouldn't do that to you even if she did. Even though she had never said it out loud, you were positive she loved you. Besides; she was yours. There wasn't a chance in hell that it was the other way around... right...?

As these thoughts swirled in your head, Ava groaned as her body stretched and grew. More of your deals were finalizing. The last thing you saw was a breast as big across as the state of Rhode Island rushing towards your penthouse as it grew to even grander sizes, crushing everything in its path forward.

[marvelousthoughts]

100 followers prompt list

"I will always follow you"

"I won't leave you alone, unless you ask me"

"Go on, I'll be behind you"

"You're an ass"

"Why do you believe me?"

"Leave me alone!... please!"

"Sit still, don't move a muscle"

"Kiss me I dare you"

"Look up!"

"Watch out"

"Incoming!"

"Don't turn the lights on, I will die"

"Zombies eat brains, but I'll have your heart"

"Let me do it for you"

"Roses are red, the sky is blue, I'll shall run, before I kill you"

"Check this out" "A ghost is here"

"Can you please shut up? You are giving me headaches"

"Never would I have..." "Time for you"

"If I were a bird, I would fly wherever you go"

"If you don't shut up now, I'll message your __ "

"I will find it, and bring it to you"

"I have an announcement to make"

"If I can't admire you, who will give you the love you deserve?"

"Your parents made a good/bad production"

"Shut up you woman"

"I will bury you, dead or alive"

"You can't hide for me"

"You adorn yourself too much"

"Did you turn into a dictionary or something?"

"Lo and behold"

"Be my subject or __ "

"Let's join a cult"

"I swear, your brain is something else"

"Who are you and what did you do to __?"

"Are you even real?"

"Liars are bad, but __ is worse"

"Grass is green, just shut up, this is my team"

"No single persons are allowed"

"If I am cool, what are you?"

"Stop fighting and sit still"

"If I die young"

"Let's get you out of here"

"My bed is to soft"

"I will die lonely"

"What the hell? Why is it always the hell?

"What did you do now?"

"I would elect myself for president"

"Are you crazy?"

"Have you lost your mind?"

"It will never be enough"

"You win or you'll die"

"Don't drink that"

"This is perfect"

"Wake me up before you go-go"

"How could you be so cruel?"

"Without you there should be one less problem"

"You are being so dumb"

"Cat got your tongue?"

"You would guess you were wise"

"You are not alone"

"The world is bonkers"

"Settle down" "please"

"You had it coming"

"You had only yourself to blame"

"Don't pop that gum"

"Go walk out the door"

"Be careful and make no mistake"

"Did you lose your mind?"

"Say what you wanna say"

"Hit me with your best shot"

"I'm gonna get you"

"If you lost me, would you cry?"

"Nope, I need to bleach my eyes"

"Please just don't do anything stupid"

"Make me"

"I didn't make it"

"I ain't a person, I am a cat"

"If I would throw away the ball, would you run after it?"

"I ain't tired yet"

"What would you rather? Be temporary blind or temporary deaf?"

"I will pray to be not paired up with you"

"If I only had one wish... I know what I would wish for"

"Why?" "Why did the universe let us meet?"

"It is inevitable, you can't outrun it"

"Nobody cares"

"If you take this, I will take that"

"It's not that important"

"Why are you even talking?"

"Keep moving if you wanna live"

"You are an idiot, I'm asking why you are still alive"

"You got a tattoo?" "Let me guess what it is" "Am I close?"

"Have you lost your mind?" "You could have died"

"Don't tell me to do anything, I won't do it anyways"

"Just eat damn it"

"Why are you late?"

"What did I say to you?" "No more Netflix anymore"

"Why are you so irritating?"

"Don't eat me!"

"When someone robs you, what would you look first for what is stolen?"

"You didn't see me right?"

[the-firebird69]

We have a couple of winners people who are out of control they are necessarily very rude you want them out right now.

- We have several projects that are going to open up wide one of them is procuring Pontiac plants. We went ahead and questioned a lot of people about it and we found out that they just wanted to let us sit there we only want to do that so we are going ahead with it and we're going to get it going. Have to make sure that it does something and it will and we will begin production of several vehicles that are very popular one of them is the G6 it's really a small grand touring type vehicle it's not AC class it's a Grand Touring GT and it's different than a goat or the other vehicle which is a grand am and we are going to put it that way we might bring back the Grand Am and the goat then we will bring back the standard lineup but with less SUV's it did not take off like they thought. We're going to start taking the plants today and they will make a big deal out of it and they are getting ready right now to make a big deal out of it and they don't really care that much but ok

- He looked at our son's idea of having people make parts for the female car and we don't think that they're really that confident in it so he's wondering if we could make some of the parts and just have them order them and that's probably the idea but we have to go through the process that's what we say and it's true and it's kind of a smart thing to do takes a while so what we're gonna do is gonna come right here this is a big project this is a depth of Firestone and it is it is for jackets we're gonna keep it on target i'm looking for a thought no not really I don't care no really just odd but he's an idiot it has this destroyed earthship so we never saw this happen happy to grab you in your body thank you so it turned out we didn't feedback from them they already seen women in there they're gone they said it was a union it's gonna blow everybody up and you don't have the ability to and that's mixing even though he says we don't have the ability to because the stupid part so now I'm changing yeah yeah I need to take it back jamie don't be a pooper right I don't know let's let's not use this job it's pretty big so you wanna kill yourself because you don't know the man that's what you're saying I know it's true he needs to this is this this this this this this this this this this problem is they do and we have a tyrant to stop you they have the tire and we stop trillions of devices in an area with much beautiful not back then in there so a couple go up uh-huh ohh yeah and I'm busy and Nope so I'm saying yeah they finally guys do it so you're dead no matter what you do or say that's what it is and you're making it like obvious 25 hours a day you know come here it's kinda like with us we know what I'm screaming cause we have a plan and it's just not gonna work out no it's not the fleet's huge the empire you look at these buckets they like we'll blow up the toilet they've been doing that we've been doing that on purpose because if you're an **** thing this area looks like the harvest it's almost completely harvesting because of your mouth not that in there it's good daddy your mouth rude blue jeans if the max for ticket alright boy it's you will **** **** with your characters do all sorts of **** to you i'm just following this over the day it's funny clueless as hell so he's just talking and stuff 'cause when I'm announcing anything he's got stuff to do.

Thor Freya

Olympus

[aceofthorns]

I Can't Believe I Said This

Quote from a five-year old post, now removed from its previous location...

This all sounds like something else I’ve encountered in recent months: companies in the entertainment market trying to ENGINEER their fan-base. The worst of this is Lucasfilm, who use inflammatory language and sweeping false accusations of sexism and racism to try and drive away the existing STAR WARS fan community so that it can be replaced by a fandom more to their liking; a fandom that accepts, without question, the new “Order” of the most recent movies. Remember “New Coke”? I don’t - but maybe it never got to the UK, in the wake of the outrage in the US when that particular product was released.

Five years ago, I watched a lot of shit. Followed several shit people, with idiotic opinions and "sources" they could never verify. Yeah, the guys who told us EVERY FKING WEEK that someone involved with Star Trek or Star Wars was about to be fired - and it NEVER happened.

And then, I realised what kind of awful sh8stains those "content creators" were, as the became more and more extreme in their positions, and more willing to just come out and say what they thought. I saw some of the other content one of them produced on a.... questionable platform - and there was no doubt in my mind that that masked individual, with his fascistic trappings openly on display, was the same masked individual whose... "stories" about genre media I had been following.

I am sorry I was so naive, so trusting of people simply not desrving of the attention. I let down fandoms I had been proud to be a part of, for longer than many of those "creators" have been alive.

I'm glad I came back to this blog this evening, saw what I'd written in the past, and chose not to let it stand in its previous form. If there's ANYTHING "wrong" about current popular media, it's that these... people have an audience.

...deep breath...

Okay, that's done. Keep your eyes and ears open, my friends - and your minds even more open. Learn to spot and recognise shit, and you won't trample dog crap into someone else's carpet.

[theowritesstuff]

Extraordinary Girl

Jeff Winger x reader

Warnings: mentions of smut. did I make Jeff awful? its s1 Jeff, so there's that

A/n: This is based on the Green Day song Extraordinary Girl, but specifically the version from the broadway production of American Idiot (it’s v good, I highly recommend). I know the song is called Extraordinary Girl but I’m going to try to keep it gender neutral. I’m not sure if I actually like this one or not.

Summary: Friends with benefits relationship with Jeff (angst)

She's an extraordinary girl

In an ordinary world

And she can’t seem to get away

You didn’t know too many people at Greendale. You’d been there for a while, but kept your distance from most. You had always planned to do big things once you graduated, but anyone who spent even just a week at Greendale knew that it was near impossible to escape once you were there. Whether that was due to a love for the school that had blossomed over time, or a pure lack of getting an actual education was anyone’s guess.

He lacks the courage in his mind

Like a child left behind

Like a pet left in the rain

Jeff had a bad childhood. His father left him when he was a kid, and it really affected the way he turned out. He refused to even look up his father when he was an adult. He had built up walls, trying his best not to have real relationships with people. He thought it best to meet, hook up, then never see each other again.

When the two of you had met, Jeff immediately took a liking to you. He turned on the old Jeff charm and flirted with you endlessly. You would always laugh at him and flirt back.

It was easy to flirt with Jeff. He was cute, and he was a nice guy.

The two of you drunkenly hooked up one night after you spotted each other at L Street. You woke up the next morning in your bed alone. There were no signs that Jeff had been there at all.

You knew that sleeping with Jeff was a mistake, but he could’ve at least stayed so that you guys could talk about it.

The next day at school you kept an eye out for him, but when he wasn’t present in your history class, you pretty much realized he was avoiding you.

You managed to spot him in the cafeteria sitting with his Spanish group.

“Hey Jeff, can we talk?” You ask, awkwardly holding the straps of your bag.

The study group gives him weird looks. “Sure.” He says as he stands up to follow you out of the cafeteria.

“So about yesterday-” you started.

“It was just a thing that happened. We had sex, and now we’re back to the way it was before, right?” He looked at you expectantly.

“Yeah! Of course! Totally!” You replied. “We’re classmates.” You told him.

You were ready to do your best to avoid seeing Jeff in public for a while, just to avoid any awkwardness.

You didn't have any negative feelings toward Jeff. You didn't really know him too well before you hooked up, so there weren't any feelings you had associated with him.

You were doing fine until you were told you would have to do a project in history with partners. Unfortunately your teacher thought it would be a good idea to assign you and Jeff as partners.

You were absolutely ready to have to face uncomfortable encounters with Jeff as you worked on your project.

Luckily Jeff was good at pretending nothing had happened between the two of you. You were able to finish working on your project without having to talk about it.

Working with Jeff was actually pretty enjoyable. When he wasn't working, which lets be honest, was most of the time, he was trying to distract you with sarcastic comments about your teachers or quips about your classmates.

Jeff offered to walk you to your car as you were leaving the library for the last time.

"Jeff, you don't need to walk me to my car. It's still light out, and I'm pretty sure I could take anyone that tries to hop out of the bushes at me." You raise your fists like you're ready to fight jokingly.

"Oh, I don't doubt that at all." He laughs.

You stop when you get to your car. "I feel like we were able to actually put together a decent project." you say to him.

"I think it's definitely a passable project." he replies.

"Well, I'll see you tomorrow Jeff." You turn to get into your car.

"Wait-" he says as he reaches for your arm. "It was nice working with you."

"It was nice working with you too."

"It was nice just being with you, in general." He starts to lean closer to you.

"Yeah?" It's almost as if the closer he gets, the more your brain fogs up.

When he leans down to kiss you, it feels like your brain short-circuits. All you can think about is him. You reach your hand up to grab at his hair, while the other tries to pull him closer to you. Both his hands rest on your waist, holding you against him.

He pulls his lips away from yours to start traveling down your neck. You close your eyes, and are ready to just be completely consumed by him.

"Your place?" he asks hurriedly.

The most you can do is nod your head.

The two of you take your car back to your apartment, and rush up to your door. You fumble with your key as he stands behind you, trailing kisses down your neck.

When you manage to unlock your door you both hurry to your bed. A small part of you says 'no Y/N, don't do this again' but that thought, much like your clothes , is quickly thrown aside.

She’s all alone again

Wiping the tears from her eyes

The next morning was almost identical to the one you had previously experienced. The only difference was now there lay a note on your bedside table. It read:

That was fun

we should do that more often

(XXX)XXX-XXXX -Jeff

Part of you wants to crumple up the note and throw it down the garbage chute. The other part wants you to cradle that note close to your chest, keeping it with you forever.

You don't know why you thought that things would be different with Jeff this time. You don't know why you feel so strongly for him. You feel a tear escape your eye, then all of a sudden, you're crying.

How could you have let a man have such a big part in your emotions? No. You weren't going to let him control how you felt. You grab your phone and shoot him a text:

That was fun, I'd love to 😉

Before going back to school you made sure that you looked your best. You wanted everyone to know that you were confident, and didn't need anyone's approval.

Everyone stared at you as you walked down the hallway. You looked great, and everyone knew it.

You and Jeff continued to sleep together, about once a week. Every time he left you would feel a small part of yourself get more and more tired. You didn't know if you were tired of him, or tired of the situation, but it didn't feel as great as it did at the beginning.

You were sitting in your math class, when it was announced that there was a new student. He seemed nice enough. You took it upon yourself to introduce yourself to him after class. He was actually very sweet. You spent lunch talking to each other about the school and the classes he had.

“I guess I just can’t believe what some of the courses offered here are. Like, why do we need a class called ‘Ladders’?” He asked.

“I honestly don’t know.” You laughed.

“Hey Y/N.” A voice said. Jeff was standing next to your table. He looked kind of uncomfortable. “Can I talk to you?” He asked.

“Sure.” You followed him to the hallway outside the cafeteria.

“Do you wanna hang out later tonight?” He looked at you expectantly. You actually didn’t feel like you wanted to be with Jeff tonight.

“Um, I don’t think I can, I’ve got a ton of homework I need to do.” You told him.

He looked surprised. “Oh, okay, well I’ll text you later.”

“Yeah, later Jeff.” You left him standing in the hallway and went back to your table with Harry. It almost felt like a weight had been lifted from your shoulders.

Some days he feels like dying

She gets so sick of crying

-Jeff’s POV-

Why didn’t Y/N wanna be with him anymore? He could start to feel you slowly slipping away from him.

He liked what the two of you had. It was simple. There were no feelings, no commitments, but you were still able to enjoy each other’s company. You were someone he could go to who wouldn’t question him about his feelings. But now he didn’t know what to do.

He watched as you talked with the new guy. You looked happy. Weren’t you happy when you talked to him? What does this guy have that he doesn’t?

Maybe he should’ve made more of an effort with you. He could’ve at least stayed with you in the morning and made you breakfast. Or, let’s be honest, have takeout for breakfast with you.

And now because he closed himself off from you, he lost you to someone else.