#I'm gonna microwave them until they explode

[katiesharms]

65 (or march 6th) for @paulmezcal - love is a laserquest by arctic monkeys

i can't think of anything to dream about/i can't find anywhere to hide

it's weird to be haunted by someone who isn't dead.

bradley's well used to hauntings at this point in his life - his father looms over his career, his mother over his house. mav over his trust issues and most reckless tendencies. and jake over his heart.

he hasn't seen jake in years - 5 to be exact, almost to the day. since their leave ran out post mission and jake broke out of the daydream they had been in together, like he'd never even been there.

"this has been fun," jake had said, that same smirk he always has affixed to his face. "we should do it again some time."

and then he got in his car and drove off, leaving bradley in the parking lot, watching him, frozen in place. he's still there, in a way. it's weird, maybe concerning, how much everything reminds him of jake. the blanket across the back of the couch that they had laid down on the floor and fucked on top of the second they got home, adrenaline and relief taking them both to the edge in record time. the mug in the cabinet that jake dropped one morning when trying to prove he had the balance to be a waiter. the shampoo jake left that bradley started using, and kept buying even after it ran out.

it's not like he hasn't tried over the years. he's dated others, but it's all fallen away and all that's left is the stain on bradley's ceiling from the time jake opened the microwave and the butter exploded.

it's all pathetic. so pathetic that when he answers the door on a sunday afternoon, bradley almost doesn't believe it.

"jake," he says dumbly. maybe this is just another one of his daydreams.

"bradley," jake says back, more sure. always more sure. "you gonna invite me in?"

wordlessly, he steps aside to let jake come in. the man wastes no time getting comfortable, seemingly still acquainted with bradley's home after all this time. jake sits at the small table in the breakfast nook, so bradley sits across from him. he's struck with the memories of sharing their morning coffee here.

"what are you doing here, jake?" bradley asks when the other man is silent for a long time.

"i, uh, just got home from deployment," jake's not looking at bradley; instead, he's tracing his fingers over the wood grain of the table. "i got into my car and started driving south. didn't realize where i was going until i hit bakersfield."

it's not an answer, but bradley's too confused and too tired to fight. "and why did you come here?"

"i guess i was just thinking of you. it was just your birthday right? 40?"

bradley starts. he didn't know jake still kept those facts about him, stored away in some private file.

"yeah," he confirms. two weeks ago, he turned 40. the same age mom was when she was diagnosed.

"when i saw the date, i remembered how you used to look in the mirror sometimes, for so long i was afraid something had happened. and when i would ask you, you just told me you had to remind yourself that you're still here. i guess i was just wondering if you still had to do that. or if you've found something else to ground you."

for a long time, bradley thought jake would be that person. he almost was; by the end of there few months together, bradley's nights spent studying himself, picking out the differences and similarities to his parents, shrunk and shrunk. instead, he let jake kiss it out of him.

"not yet," bradley settles on as an answer and tries to decode the way jake's brows scrunch together, how his shoulders droop.

"i'm sorry. i know that's what you wanted."

it feels cruel, almost. that jake is sitting her and dangling what he refused to give bradley in his face.

"of course," jake continues, "you've never been very good at asking for what you want."

the truth of it burns, and bradley feels hot.

"what about you?" bradley volleys. "i remember distinctly feeling like this whole thing was some kind of game to you."

"it was," jake admits so easily that it shocks bradley, just for a moment. "i never felt like anything was real. i liked to move fast and not care about what i left behind."

"used to?" bradley echoes back carefully.

"yeah," jake confirms, looking deep into bradley's eyes. "used to."

"what changed?"

jake shrugs. "i think i finally feel my age. and i think i finally realized that i need to stop pretending you were just some lover, like all the rest."

bradley sucks in a sharp breath. "jake, you can't say that. not now."

jake's face crumples. "look, i know it's probably too late. but i'm sorry and i miss you and i want to try again. for real."

"what's changed?" bradley asks again, trying to quell the hope crawling up his throat.

"nothing. except for me. if that's enough."

bradley doesn't know if it is. but for now, it's good enough for him. he reaches across the table to loop their hands together and squeezes.

[yeetus-feetus]

"if you're so hungry why don't you just get up and make yourself food?" "stop being so lazy and get yourself something to eat" "why haven't you eaten all day? You're an adult why can't you get yourself food?"

Because it's not that fucking easy! I struggle sometimes and I'm so tired of being called lazy because I'm grown and can't do things for myself. Do you know how much I hate myself because I can't just get up and eat! Not on a bad days like today. Right now my only safe food is Mac n cheese, I can't eat anything else, do you know how many steps that takes on a bad day??

Look at it like this

On a good day: Step 1) make Mac n cheese. Step 2) extra cheese. Step 3) enjoy the yummy food!

On an okay day: Step 1) find a bowl. Step 2) find Mac n cheese packet. Step 3) put mac n cheese in bowl. Step 4) add water. Step 5) microwave for 2 minutes. Step 6) take out and mix. Step 7) microwave for 3 mins. Step 8) grate cheese. Step 9) mix in extra cheese. Step 10) eat Mac n cheese. Step 11) clean up.

On a bad day: Step 1) make myself get out of bed and try not pass out from the nausea caused by simply getting up. Step 2) walk to kitchen. Step 3) open cubbord and look for bowl. Step 4) find Mac n cheese packet. Step 5) open packet and pour pasta into bowl. Step 6) open flavour packet and pour into bowl. Step 7) find measuring cup. Step 8) measure correct amount of water and add to bowl. Step 9) carry bowl to microwave and open microwave. Step 10) put bowl in microwave. Step 11) press buttons to set microwave to 2 mins. Step 12) look for my comfy spoon. Step 13) panic because I can't find comfy spoon because it never gets put back in the right place unless I do the dishes. Step 14) either find comfy spoon (which adds several more step if I have to clean it) or have to force myself to use a regular spoon and not have a meltdown. Step 15) open microwave and Take out Mac n cheese. Step 16) mix the Mac n cheese. Step 17) put bowl back in microwave. Step 18) press buttons to set microwave to 3 mins. Step 19) sit on the floor because my body aches all over and it's too much to stand, and watch the microwave until it dings. Step 20) open microwave and take out Mac n cheese, trying not to spill it because standing up makes me dizzy. Step 21) mix Mac n cheese again. Step 22) forgo adding extra cheese because that's another 20 steps I'm too tired for. Step 23) look for a comfortable place to sit. Step 24) sit and stare at Mac n cheese until I have enough energy to force myself to eat. It's probably cold by now. I probably have to take several breaks before being able to finish eating. Step 25) make myself get up again, try not cry because everything hurts and the room is spinning again. Step 26) take bowl to kitchen. Step 27) rinse bowl and spoon. 28) wipe over the bench. Step 29) walk back to my room and go back to bed for the rest of the day.

Do you see how impossible a task can seem when it's almost 30 whole steps?? Can you understand why I struggle so much on bad days? It's a good thing if I manage to eat at least one thing. It's a good thing if a manage to get up and got to the bathroom when I need to, instead of laying there and holding it until I can't any longer and then force myself up- that's a thing that happens. And you're gonna get upset at me for not being able to eat?? Do you even know how much pain I'm in right now? How bad my demand avoidance is right now? How many painkillers I've taken, if I've been able able to muster up enough energy to take them? How much I want to gauge my own eyes out to relieve the building pressure in my head because it feels like it's going to explode? Do you see that 29 step list looming over me? A 29 step list that has the possiblity of becoming even more fucking steps if everything doesn't go exactly right? Do you understand why I can't "just get up and make food" now?

Jfc I hate it here.

I hate my body.

[yourneighbourhoodtraumatisedkids]

Update about life because you people need it.

Insiya and Mary managed to get Jim back. He's currently lying down in his bed, awake, but he's injured all over his body and his ribs have been cracked for almost a week now- and he never told anyone until he disappeared, so definitely on bed rest. He also has a handprint on his face thanks to Siya slapping him.

Do you guys wanna know why he disappeared?

Because he was kidnapped by a certain goddess called Nimue.

Yeah. Nimue wanted to finally train her champion. We don't know what exactly Nimue did to Merlin but what Insiya could get out of him while tending to him was that she placed him in a sort of scrying bath and he witnessed many events occurring about the world.

Insiya was also about to leap at her relative and electrocute her when @bluheaven-adw decided to save the day and portal them all back to Arcadia before the girl could possibly kill the goddess. Thanks again, Blu.

Then again, Siya did explode a Fanta bottle and the microwave when we got to Arcadia. Blu couldn't heat her popcorn and watch as Insiya and Douxie shouted at each other while Mary went immediately to take a shower. It was actually kind of funny if it wasn't for the fact that now the Lake's microwave is broken and Insiya got Douxie sopping wet.

And as for Claire, someone- no names- healed quite a bit of her pain. She's sleeping, and Angor says she'll probably be around and moving, but soon enough Morgana is going to possess her and try to bait us in releasing her. Jim and Douxie both want words with her, and Claire is not excited about the fact that she's gonna be possessed soon enough.

I'm just here for the ride.

We'll update later, and see what will happen. Jim will talk to you guys tomorrow- he's absolutely exhausted and he needs rest.

*waves*

-Toby.

[howlofhades]

It's not gonna be structured, I'm just gonna roll switching from oc to oc.

I feel like Barks would never sleep at night because he would just think about all the brothers he couldn’t save after every mission. But even when he sleeps willingly it doesn't last long.

If Bear were to ever get in a relationship he could never sleep after an argument, he won't sleep until everything has been settled.

Storm probably has the most tattoos out of all my clones, but they all happen to be dedicated to the brothers he's lost. He almost got one dedicated to Barks.

Put Skunker and Barks in a room, and I can assure you that Skunker is leaving with a dislocation (Barks didn't do it.)

Bear drinks enough caf to probably kill a person, but he'd deny it. "This is my first cup today." I can confirm that would be a lie, he's probably drunk two, maybe three.

Erix has a bullet in a necklace given by Skunker the first time they met, the other Skunker jokingly said "Next time you annoy me this is gonna go in your forehead" and Erix kept it just to annoy him.

Bear would give droids pronouns I think

Storm will literally hit Barks for no reason and when Barks hits back, Storm screams for Rex

Barks will try to explode you with his mind if you annoy him

Barks: "snapping my back like a glow stick would solve all my problems."

Storm absolutely FACEPLANTED the first time he stepped off a gunship for the first time. Nobody let's him live it down. The next time he did it was in front of Anakin

Erix will do something, blame Storm and boom Barks and Storm argue. He loves it.

Erix cusses like a sailor

Skunker admires Barks and Rex for putting up with the chaos

Skunker bombards waxer, boil and wooley with jokes

Bear bites off more than he can chew

Now some incorrect quotes:

Barks: I hope no one lowkey hates me.

Barks: Highkey hate me. Hate me with every fiber of your being.

Barks: Go big or go home.

-

Barks: Sometimes, I don’t realize an event was traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and notice everyone is staring at me weird.

-

Barks: I don’t think the therapist is supposed to say ‘wow’ that many times during their first session with a client, but here we are.

-

Barks: I'm so tired of this life. I want to be a roomba. I want knives taped to me. And I want to be set loose.

-

Storm: I was put on this earth to do one thing.

Storm: Luckily I forgot what it was so I can do whatever I want.

-

Storm: Is this a good idea?

Storm: Probably not.

Storm: Do I care?

Storm: No.

-

Erix: I'm a firm believer in "if you're going to fail, you might as well fail spectacularly."

-

Storm: I didn’t even realize how sarcastic I was being. It’s starting to become a problem, I think.

-

Erix: Barks, gather the others. We need to have another Storm -is-doing-something-stupid-again-and-we-have-to-stop-them-before-they-hurt-someone convention.

-

Barks: I’m not a doctor I’m a medic.

Erix: What’s the difference then?

Barks: Well doctors actually save lives, medics just make you feel more comfortable as you die.

Storm: Note to self; never get shot.

-

Barks: Life keeps fucking me and I can't remember the safeword.

-

Barks: My expectations are low, but they can always go lower.

-

Barks: My knee just cracked so loudly that I half expect it to glow in the dark tonight.

-

Erix: In your opinion, what is the height of stupidity?

Barks, turning to Storm: How tall are you?

-

Storm: Dandelions symbolize everything I want to be in life.

Barks: Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind?

Storm: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die.

Erix: Edible.

-

Erix: What if mayonnaise came in cans?

Storm: Well, that would such because you can't microwave metal.

Barks: Good morning to everyone except these two people.

-

Erix: Pros and cons of dating me.

Erix: Pros. You'll be the cute one.

Erix: Cons. Holy shit, where do I begin-

-

Phoenix: I scare people a lot because I walk very softly and they don't hear me enter rooms. So when they turn around, I'm just kind of there and their fear fuels me.

-

Phoenix: God has let me live another day and I'm going to make it everyone's problem.

-

Lazarus: I’m gonna mix a can of Red Bull with seventeen shots of espresso in a fishbowl and then chug it while Kids by MGMT plays in the background so I can perceive twenty-three spatial dimensions and fight my own soul.

-

Lazarus, writing in their diary with a glitter gel pen: I'm losing my sense of humanity. Nothing matters. God is dead. There's blood on my hands.

[bonniefront]

* South Park OCs have now been posted for real

* But here they are!! Me and Sister made South Park OCs because why not. I've explained them on my spam account, but I'm gonna do it again here

* Sadie Anderson, my OC. She was attacked by a bear at a young age and it left her with lots of scars. She needed lots of medical help for her scars to heal and needing to get a prosthetic arm, along with a cane. It's just her and her dad, so it was quite a struggle to pay for everything. Her father had to sell their home and everything in it to afford the hospital bill, which caused them to move to the small town of South Park, in hopes that living there would be cheaper. Sadie is the second poorest kid in school, so she immediately became friends with Kenny and she shares what little she has with him. Sadie is normally a very sweet girl who doesn't get bothered by the cruel words of others. Until it's Sofia

* Sofia Tucker. My Sister's OC. She's Craig's younger sister, and she's a part of the goth kids, being specifically close to Henrietta. Sofia has lived in South Park all her life and she has quite the temper, flipping off anyone who annoys her, much like her brother. Sofia tends to throw a temper tantrum when she doesn't get her way and her brother has to often deal with her outbursts. Sofia used to have a hamster named Hammy, but he exploded in the microwave. He was replaced with a different hamster, but Sofia hates him. Sofia and Sadie do NOT get along at all. Sofia tends to provoke Sadie any chance she gets, which has led Sadie to develop a hatred for the ENTIRE Tucker family. It's not entirely clear why Sofia picks on Sadie the most, or why it's only Sofia that bothers Sadie

[eddiestattoos]

I'm having fun and y'all get to hear about it (also known as a load of out of context spn)

Weekend at Bobby's is absolutely sending me

- The neighbour lady

- The phone call montage

- Sam casually being thrown around while Dean talks to Bobby

- "enjoy the roast mom"

- "how long I been arresting you now?"

- "ever had a septic tank explode on you"

- hold the phone Jensen directed this? Yes

- "that's me flicking my bic for you"

- "moose"

-"he white knuckled his way through 4 puke bags"

Moving on

- Sam doesn't know what to do with his brother on a good day let alone soulless. I love this nut

- "newsflash mr wizard. Vampires pee"

- So much for going home to Lisa huh

- ok or he does

- "he's not himself, Sam" lol the irony

- gotta give it to Sam he's covering his ass

- Sam's face when Dean snaps out of it. What an actor 😂

- "it's a new, more caring administration"

- Sam calling tells because he's an expert bluffer

- He's damn near snickering this is unnecessarily fun

- Cas just pouring Dean another drink

- "you were gone for two seconds where'd you look?" "Everywhere"

- "I just got them. They need a lot of attention"

- Dean trying to get Bobby to stop 😂

- clever move going to Sam. Too bad it's not gonna work

- can Dean and Lisa have an honest conversation just once?

- sorry mittens

- "I feel terrible" he says in the most neutral tone possible

- veritas. Oh we back in smallville are we?

- "do I even want to know where you got that?" "probably not"

- oh serinda swan we are back in smallville

- "as of yesterday I wanted to kill him in his sleep" oof

- he's asking for help!! Admitted he has a problem!! Sammy!! My love!!

- just your normal everyday ending Dean smashing Sam's face in

- "how often do you sleep" "I don't" I was waiting for that exact answer

- "I feel like my nose is broken"

- "explain it to me like I'm 5"

- "he thinks velcro is big news"

- "you're crowley's bitch"

- "that Bobby Singer? Give him a kiss for me"

- "they call us in to answer the questions of mouth breathing dick monkeys"

- robocop

- "how come you're sweating vodka and it looks to me those are the same clothes you slept in" I simply love soulless Sam

- "before we hand him over into a lifetime of demon rape"

- "I'm going to go out on a limb and say it's not Cal" "masterful deduction sherlock"

- I was waiting for Madison to come up. The last werewolf. In bed. With Sam

- "as in the family dog seriously needs a neuter"

"Is it a kinky thing?"

"How about I start carving me some dog until you behave" this entire scene has me crying

- Smallville skinwalker vibes. Smallville vibes are grand tonight

- *whistles* *throws ball*

- I swear any football team jackets came right off the smallville set

- "Don't dump your wackadoo all over us, we'd rather not step in it"

- "You'll be my jiminy cricket" Sam actually calling him jiminy 😂

"I think the fourth kind is a butt thing"

- Sam: Dean? What happened? Dean? *meh ok*

- Soulless Sam "my brother got abducted. I've had time to adjust. Like half an hour" Winchester my beloved

"Have you considered the fact that you suck at hunting UFOs"

- Dean reappears shooting I. Am. Hysterical.

- Sam's with a girl holy hell I'm truly having a blast

- *shows him phone screen*

- "probing table" "GOD DON'T SAY THAT OUT LOUD"

- "what's next? Hobbits"

- its times like these that I really think about just how explicit this show would be if they could allow it

- Dean casually trapping the thing in the microwave

- "I'm not supposed to laugh am I?"

- "You're the one that pizza rolled tinkerbell"

- "Do you have bigger cups?"

- "FIGHT THE FAIRIES"

- "you can make me a real boy again"

- "do me a favor and count this" "why didn't I do that earlier?"

- "dude I do still have all my brain cells"

- "demon trying to be funny" "oh is that what just happened"

- "I don't speak little bitch" ouch

- "that was the plot of raiders, idiot" loveable idiot

- "will you, boy"

- "I will look, and I don't sleep"

- "well Sam I owe you a chicken dinner"

- "Cas can you give us a minute" *vanishes*

- confused Sam watching feelings happen

- "if the pizza man truly loves the babysitter"

- "you watching porn? Why?" "It was there"

- "I learned that from the pizza man"

- "I'm standing in pee"

- "what's in the goody bag" "you are"

- damn Cas really just burnt him

- "oh excellent almost 75%"

- "call me crazy but this smells like a heart attack"

- the fact that bobby has a trap door to the basement

- "ain't nobody killing me in my house but me"

- RIP soulless Sam. Twas quite fun

[ohshcscenerios]

Idk if I'm late to the family event, but from 1-10 how nervous and overprotective over silly things (Like thinking they're gonna hurt themselves over getting up to microwave a hot pocket or accidentally getting a cut while chopping some vegetables)?

Hello Anon, I deeply apologize for my late response. You’re not too late, I am! Thank you so much for the lovely and challenging prompt. I will try my best!

Tamaki Suoh

8. Tamaki wouldn’t necessarily be overprotective but he would be a nervous wreck. He would baby-proof the house before their child is born. If his pregnant wife asks why he’s taping pillows to table legs and securing child locks on the high shelves he’ll simply say it’s so she’s not tempted to accidentally harm herself. He may go overboard and hire a team of bodyguards to assist her outings but his wife should know he’s just trying to keep their precious bundle safe.

Kyoya Ootori

6. Kyoya would heavily rely on the personal team of doctors, nurses, and OBGYNs to properly care for his pregnant wife. He hand-picked the best of the best within the Ootori hospital but he would still be nervous. Kyoya is an intelligent man so he understands even with modern medicine things can go wrong but he won’t express his worries to his wife. He’ll silently suffer until their child is born. He would, however, hover over her when she’s doing something that makes him nervous like wearing high heels. 

Hikaru Hitachiin

7. Hikaru would be a nervous wreck in the beginning when they first learn of the pregnancy. As they progress into the second trimester he would get used to his protective emotions and ease up a little. In the third trimester, when his wife is heavy with child and they’re nearing the birth date, his protective emotions would shoot straight up again! After 35 weeks Hikaru would insist on doing nearly everything for her... even cutting her steak for her. 

Kaoru Hitachiin

6. Kaoru wouldn’t want to be a helicopter husband but he cares for his wife and unborn child very deeply. He would watch her but try not to intervene unless he absolutely needs to stop something. He gets the most nervous when she’s in the kitchen though. He’s heard horror stories of toasters catching on fire and ovens exploding. Where he heard these he doesn’t remember... he just knows he hates it when she’s cooking. 

Takashi Morinozuka 

10. Takashi would be very protective of his pregnant wife. He would try his best not to hover over her as to not intrude on her personal space and her independence but his maternal instincts would be blasting on full beast mode. At first he would quietly watch them from a distance when they prepare food with a knife, take a hot bath, plug in an electronic, and even stand too close to the microwave. It would probably erk his wife but he can’t help it. He has to protect his family. 

Mitsukuni Haninozuka 

12. Mitsukuni might not show it but he’s extremely protective over his pregnant wife. He would heavily rely on his martial art skills to be her personal ninja. If she drops something on the floor he’s right there to pick it up for her. If she wants to make herself something eat he’ll shuffle her back into the den and order their personal chef to cook for her. He’ll try to disguise these little acts as him trying to be a cautious husband but deep down he’s freaking out over the slightest thing that remotely BRUSHES AGAINST his wife. 

[irepookie]

Infinity Chapter 4-

Meet The Family (PT.1)

Summary: QUEEN AU where Rog (aka Rowan Queen) is a young single dad struggling to make it into music industry.

Warnings: not really. Just fluff, sappiness and swearwords here and there

Disclaimer: I don't own the pictures. The boys are based on Queen, but Piper, Gina and Callie are mine

John: Rick Lincoln (Cause he is John Richard Deacon born on August 19th 1951™™™™™)

Brian: Terry Garrett (Cause my uncle used to have a black puddle named Terry and I had no choice)

Freddie: Len Mars (Yea I couldn't help myself)

Chapter 4- Row opens up with the boys about the raisin.

“I'm a dad”........

"Okay, let's... let's get over this again: A daughter?" Terry, the band's guitarist couldn't believe his ears.

"Yes, Terry. A daughter" Row repeated for the 19th time from the other side of the phone.

"A baby." Len said, taking another sip of his tequila.

"No, a 30 year old alpaca." Row said sarcastically. "Yes, a goddamn baby. Fucking gorgeous, just so you know"

"And you're gonna keep her." Rick, who had been quietly plunking his bass' strings, added. "Are you sure?"

"It's done. I've already kept her. And it's not like I'm rescuing a shelter dog. She's mine. Period."

"Sorry, was just trying to... Wrap my head around it"

To be honest, Row still couldn't quite believe it (that he was a father). Not even now, as he tried to convince his best friends while holding his girl with the other arm.

"And is your mom okay with it?" Terry asked

He scoffed, clutching his Lil raisin close at the thought "My mom has no say in this".

"But she knows" Rick said.

He sighed "Yes, she knows. And she was a bitch about it, okay? She can disown me for all I care". It's not like there was much to inherit, anyway.

There was a general sigh from his three best friends.

"And what are you gonna do?"

" 'bout what?"

"Um, I don't know, man. About School? Maybe about your life in general?"

"School ain't something I'm worrying about".

"What a surprise" Rick rolled his eyes.

"But you're still in the band right?" Len said

"Oh, of course. Of course. You guys are gonna be the only ones keeping me sane"

They chuckled

"But we ain't gonna babysit for you, huh?"

"As if you knew anything about babies"

"Well, the same as you." Terry said

"Just what I was saying: nothing at all" Row grinned

"Her future looks bright, then" Len half teased.

"Incandescent, in fact" Row could pretty much hear Terry's arched eyebrow.

The youngest member could only roll his eyes and try not to take it as an insult. He knew this was a lot to process all of a sudden and that in the inside, beyond the sarcasm and teasing, they were happy for him.

"Whatever, guys" he replied, as Pips began to frown. He sighed, knowing that meant smelly treat was on its way "Gotta go. By the way, she just told me she thinks you guys stink" he grinned, before hanging up.

The other three men exchanged a confused glance, and stayed in silence for a minute, until Len broke it:

"I say he'll go completely nuts in seven days".

"That long? Nah, I think less than 24 hours after they leave the hospital." Terry said

Len smirked "Bet?"

"I'm a bit tight at the moment, pal"

"Then not money. If I win, you'll be my model for the midterm design project. It's 30's fashion. For ladies, of course".

"Ok. But if I win you'll do my chores for a whole weeks."

"A whole week?!"

"Seven days, if you prefer it."

They shook hands "Deal. Rick? Join us?"

"I actually rather believe that they'll be alright" Rick got up and stretched.

"Well of course they will. Eventually. Row always figures things out." T said

"The fun part is to watch him go crazy in the meantime" Len chuckled "Like when he first moved in and left a fork in the plate when first using the microwave"

They laughed, remembering how their friend had called them at 9 PM in panic, screaming the microwave had exploded.

"Let's just hope for the best. I mean he seemed quite sure of himself this time. And who knows, maybe being a dad is the best way to grow up." Rick defended

"Yea, well a bit radical, don't you think?" Len said

"Like sock therapy. If smokers quit when diagnosed with lung cancer, maybe Row settles down now he has a baby"

"I just still don't get why he didn't just put her in adoption" T said

Rick shrugged "Would you if you were in his shoes?"

"Absolutely"

"That's exactly how Row would've answered, say, a week ago. That's what we all answer. Until it really happens. I think it's one of those situations where you can't really picture until you live it."

"But this is Rowan Queen we're talking about. Rowan <<Made out with both Jones Twins at the same party Cause I didn't remember which was which>> Queen. I mean, he does know that a kid is gonna freeze his sex life for indefinite time, right? What the hell was going through his head?" Terry said

"I can't believe you think that." Len interjected "I mean, I'm the one who's never gonna be a dad here, and the one who failed biology, but even I get it. He met her right? Before any decision was made, he met her. Once you meet your kid, you're tangled up forever. And you might think you're not but if you give them away you'll never get rid of a feeling of remorse."

"Wow, Lenny, that was deep"

"Yea, where'd you get that from?"

"Just common sense."

"Funny, considering you're the one who's started the bet" Rick grinned

"One thing doesn't prevent the other. And out of the two of us, I'm the optimistic! He gave him one day, I gave him seven! I trust him"

"Well I'm not sure if I do. I mean, I love him, he's a great guy, a great musician, and everything else, but he's not reliable. Remember his first job as a waiter? I'm still waiting for the fish and chips I ordered last April"

The other two chuckled "I once lent him a t-shirt, and I swear I saw Liz Michael's wearing it" Len said

"See what I mean?"

"Yes, well, we can't do anything about it, T. It's his life"

"But this affects us too, one way or another. This affects the band. And he didn't even consult us"

"Well what did you expect him to do? Call and go <<Hey guys, are you fine with me having a daughter? No? Okay, just checking. Bye>>?" Rick imitated a phone with his hand, doing a decent impression of their friend's high voice.

"A head's up would have been nice"

"Terry, just chill for fucks shake. I mean, this is unexpected, but Row's our best friend, our brother, and we have to support him. Because, if he's a dad, that's makes us her uncle's. And it'll be fun having a little niece we can spoil" Len smiled at the idea.

"Spoil? With what money?" Terry, always realistic, put his hands on his hips

"With the upcoming tour's, of course darlings" he twirled majestically around the room

"First, that's in four months" Rick reminded

"If it does happen at all"

They still had one last song to arrange And record. Plus, they didn't know how Row was gonna make it work now he had a baby. But nobody addressed that concern out loud.

"Oh don't be so goddamn negative, fellas! C'mon! We're uncle's! Row's made a very important, life-changing, mature decision, and we should be proud of him. So" he went to the fridge and returned with three beers "I say we toast for him and the lil Queenie"

The other two grinned and accepted the cans, opening them.

"Oh, I say we Split a fourth beer in his behalf, cause parents shouldn't drink while breastfeeding" Terry mocked, earning a laugh

"To the Queens" Rick raised his can "For our little bro to take this seriously and not fuck this kid up"

"To the Queens" Terry and Len crashed theirs as well.

🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

Meanwhile, in the hospital...

"Goddamn it, raisin! How can someone so small produce so many colors of something so stinky?" Row exclaimed, holding his breath as he clipped the fresh nappy on his daughter "We only feed you milk! Like... Like white milk! How can you turn a white liquid into rainbow pudding? Holy shit" he held the dirty one at arms length and threw it in the bin "It's a damn good thing I love you, cause I won't do this for anyone else" he told her, lifting her up to his chest again before walking around the room

"You gonna be a good girl for me for the next eighteen years? Huh?" He kissed her chubby cheek "What am I saying? You're my daughter, of course you're gonna be a trouble maker. But we'll get along, you'll see. I ain't gonna be like my parents. Don't worry. I won't be a bloody pain in the ass like mom, and I will never ever do anything my old man did. That I can promise. But I gotta admit I do want you to be like Gina. Yea, she's a control freak sometimes, but let's face it: she's gotta be the strongest person I've ever met. You should've seen her kicking the bastard out the house. She took no shit."

He smiled somewhat proudly at the memory, and for a second forgot how mad he was at her for turning her back on them.

"You wanna be a badass gurl like her? Huh? Yes you do. Yes you do" he cooed, craning his neck so he could brush his nose with her little button one. Her fist chose to close around the nearest strands of blond hair on reach, which he found secretly adorable.

But a part of him did wish he had mom's support. After all, despite the rough patches through his teens, they had always had each other's back; through thick and thin. She had have to raise him all alone, and although he hadn't even begun with Pips, he already knew it hadn't been easy. She may be stern, and a bit inflexible when it came to negotiating allowance. She could come across as rude if you caught her in the wrong mood (which many neighbors had) but above all she was a good person and a good mother.

And looking back, he hadn't been such a great son. He could have been more responsible, less handful and more obedient. Less rebellious, too. He could have thanked her more often for the thousand things she did everyday. For the meals. For all the jobs she had taken to provide for the two of them. For the surprise birthday gift she had got him with the money she had been saving: a real drum kit. For helping him move out her house into that one room crappy appartement which would be Pip's home.

But still she had rejected Piper without a second thought, regardless of her anger towards him; Pips was her granddaughter, she had done nothing wrong and as her father, Row doubted he would ever forgive Gina.

He sighed, untangling the hand of his hair and bringing it to his lips "But you don't have to worry about all that. Just concentrate on staying strong and growing up. And I promise I'll focus all of me on being the best dad. That you'll never miss a mom cause you don't need one. You've got me and I swear I'll be enough. Even if I'm still young: I'll have it all more fresh won't I?" He grinned "You're the one person who's never judged me yet, and I don't wanna let you down"

That a was vow. And he was determined to keep it.

🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

This one goes to my mega-paragraphist @definitely-darcy who's got my engine going through the usual inspiration blocks, and who's reviews help me improve. She's made me believe in this fic, and encouraged me to keep going despite the one digit notes.

Xx- Pookie

[mickleach]

Top 10 Food Myths

these are the possibly false truths we convinced ourselves to believe in regards to our food an apple a day keeps the doctor away and you're wondering is that really true welcome to watchmojo.com and today we're counting down our picks for the top ten food myths at the end of the day if we compare them side-by-side there are pros and cons for each for this list we're focusing on popular adages about food or common diet tips some of which have merit some of which don't and some of which do but not for the reasons you'd think then I would probably consider limiting or avoiding gum until the child gets a little bit older but as always be sure to consult a medical professional when it comes to your health stay lean and stay strong number 10 microwaving food destroys nutrients myth we're talking really bad we begin our list with the big bad microwave any new technology attracts its share of critics and the microwave was no different why don't you build something like he does stead of all your empty deals it's just like your science oven you know I read that it takes all of the nutrition out of our food empty just like your deal it's long been suggested that cooking food this way can rob it of its healthy properties but for the most part that's just not true it's actually the cook time and heat level that is most likely to destroy nutrients and since a microwave takes less time than most conventional cooking methods in many cases it might actually help retain more of the healthiness and cook for three to four minutes until the salmon is flaky pro tip try steaming vegetables in a sealed microwave safe ditch with a small amount of water for delicious and nutritious veggies it's also very important to choose glass cookware or microwave safe cookware that doesn't emit or leach different plastic compounds which can be toxic number 9 pop rocks plus soda equals kaboom miss thirsty what's wrong something you might have heard about mixing pop rocks some soda well you there stomach and your intestines everything first coca-cola hit the market in 1886 pop rocks hit the market in 1975 rumours claiming that ingesting these junky products at the same time would cause your stomach to explode due to excessive carbon dioxide from the combo of the fizzy candy and the carbonated drink weren't far behind I'm a little afraid I can't say oh let me see let's all see okay oh crap everyone heard this urban legend when they were growing up and many of us may have actually believed it the people of Seattle believed it so much the US Food and Drug Administration had to set up a hotline to calm them down oh but the truth is the worst thing you could likely do to you is cause a nice satisfying belch ah odd then number eight eggs are bad for your heart if this food factoid has been debated for years but here's what we know eggs contain cholesterol and too much cholesterol can lead to health problems like heart disease so how is this amiss well contrary to what you might have been told eggs are one of the healthiest foods you can consume as they're full of vitamins minerals and protein if you're healthy and don't have a history of heart problems you can likely eat an egg a day without it adversely affecting your cholesterol levels as your body will offset it by producing less cholesterol itself so will that be scrambled or sunny-side up there was a widely spread study that eggs were not good for you this just doesn't simply make any sense number seven red wine is good for your heart fact yep I don't care what the scientists say I'm just gonna keep on drinking all you wine drinkers out there prepare to rejoice scientists have been studying the connection between wine consumption and heart health for years after looking at the French diet and noticing relatively low rates of heart disease even though their traditional foods are fatty and if they want to drink Merlot we're drinkin Merlot know if anybody orders Merlot I'm leaving I am not drinking any more low but it's true red wine features heart-healthy properties that can possibly protect against heart attacks or strokes among other things however like most things when it comes to your diet moderation is key oh no no no I'm driving about two glasses a day for men and one for women is the optimum amount to drink for your health will drink to that number six a gluten-free diet is better for anyone myth clues a vague term it's it's something that's used to categorize things that are bad you know calories that's a gluten gluten is a rather new buzzword in the mainstream but boy has a gained steam fast gluten intolerance is described as the fastest growing food intolerance category selling over ten and a half billion in the u.s. in 2013 and only growing since then and while those suffering from celiac disease are unable to digest gluten only about 1% of the population suffers from it and therefore should follow a gluten-free diet and your body responds in a lot of ways to it stomach pains swollen lymph nodes skin rashes a whole host of things that will progressively get worse as you keep having to gluten in your diet doctors recommend that anyone without this condition can and should include whole grains in their balanced diet for help with digestion lower blood pressure and cholesterol maintaining a healthy body weight and more so why is it so bad well it's not in fact it's neither detrimental or essential for your health and there's very little evidence to suggest that cutting it out is the healthier choice for the average person that's the whole wheat toast please is better than the previous bite you gluten number 5 it takes seven years to digest swallowed gum miss name something you put in your mouth but don't swallow Oh Amanda gum we've all been there one minute you're chewing some gum the next something startles you and you swallow it better hope your mom's not around to lecture you about how swallowed gum will not be digested by your system for seven years and we'll just fester in your gut until it's finally excreted okay gross and patently untrue while gum has been described as indigestion that doesn't mean it stays in your stomach it just means that when you do pass the gum through your sister in the regular amount of time it'll be in pretty much the same shape as when you swallowed it I know what and get go mamas go but we don't suggest checking it out to be sure number four eating turkey makes you sleepy miss Oh Monica that was the best Thanksgiving dinner ever was so good I think he killed us we were surprised about this one too considering how lethargic we are after Thanksgiving dinner every year so why do you feel tired after you stuff your face with turkey a common assertion blames tryptophan an amino acid found in many meats that's connected to the sleepytime hormone melatonin but the holiday bird actually contains less tryptophan than a food like cheddar cheese for example so experts point to other culprits when it comes to after meal exhaustion it's probably the combo of carbs and booze that cause you to snooze whatever bring it on jelly those are my maternity pants no no these are my Thanksgiving pants number three boy stirs are an aphrodisiac miss have you ever had a wasters did you know boy stirs are an aphrodisiac well it's probably a myth anyway the oyster has long been considered a vital food for love partly because of its vague resemblance to female sex organs and partly because the legendary lover Casanova was set to eat 50 of them each morning but there have been many studies over the years none of which has proven the oysters roll as a definitive aphrodisiac what they have found however is that oysters are so rich with zinc and amino acids that they may increase the sex drive maybe there's something to this one after all but no matter how you eat them they're sure to enhance the romance of your Valentine's Day evening number 2 acne is caused by chocolate greasy foods etc miss people think that I told my name chuckling ba or that I don't wash my face call them pimples call them zits but whatever you call them they're an unfortunate part of life and they often crop up at the worst possible time my chocolate my beautiful chocolate now the uninformed might blame things like chocolate or greasy foods for their facial blemishes while others might cite poor hygiene but they'd all be wrong acne is caused by bacteria excess oil or clogged pores and there's not a ton you can do about it Chocolate Rain a baby born will die before this in Chocolate Rain stress and hormones may trigger a breakout as can some medications and there are even some studies that suggest diet can be an aggravating factor but all in all zits are a rite of passage we all must deal with amaz it get it before we unveil our top pick here are some honorable mentions today there are over 900 published studies revealing the detrimental effects of aspartame migraines are the most reported aspartame reaction like they're coming thank you contact even though artificial sweeteners don't raise your blood sugar they may put you at greater risk for diabetes calories consumed after say 10:00 p.m. won't make you gain weight any faster than calories consumed at 6:00 p.m. research shows that what matters is how many calories you eat and not the time that you eat them the bottom line is to be aware of what you're eating margarine can vary so drastically that looking at the label to understand what is or isn't in it will help you make informed decisions number one organic food is always healthier myth organic food is grown without synthetic pesticides fertilizers antibiotics or hormones today it accounts for more than thirty 1 billion dollars in sales a year in the United States many people think the organic label gives food some supernatural nutritional value but it actually refers to the way the farmers grow or raise their products is that USDA Organic or Oregon Organic of Portland Organic it's just all across the board organic in many cases organic farming might encourage soil and water conservation while decreasing pollution it's also more likely to be free of preservatives and synthetic flavors now I'm on the inside looked in my list organic chicken kale salad in a lemon twist however thus far test results have gone back and forth on whether or not organic food is healthier if you want to support small farmers and sustainable development then by all means look for an organic certification however an apple is an apple no matter how it's grown so as long as you're eating a healthy balanced diet you should be fine his name was Colin curious papers okay just quick he looks like a happy little guy runs around a lot of friends other chickens as friends putting his little wing around another one kind of like howling around I don't know that I can speak to that level of intimate knowledge about him do you agree with our list that is so good what's your favorite food myth for more enticing top 10s published every day be sure to subscribe to watchmojo.com

See more here: http://mickleach.com/common-food-myths/