#I'm also going to cop to the fact that this part of Sam gets to me personally

[chiaraanatra]

Break Up in a Small Town

Request: What about break up in a small town by Sam Hunt? Pilot!Reader and Jake?! Love your work!! - @callsign-viper

Summary: You and Jake had known each other since high school and the two of you dated back at the Academy. After being stationed on separate sides of the US the two of you separated. Little did you know both of you would be called back to Top Gun. Little did he know you would be followed by a civilian boyfriend.

Warnings: Swearing, name-calling (slut), shitty boyfriend, Hangman to the rescue!

No Y/N; callsign Stinger; called Honeybee by Jake as term of endearment.

Word Count: 3k

AN: This took way too long and I’m sorry. It also ran away from me and I’m not sorry.

When I first started writing this, I was watching too much VPR and Tom is definitely based on Tom Sandoval.

For the parts 1 & 3 of this accidental series: pt 1: Cop Car || pt 3: Falling Like This

《 m.list || ao3 》

“Stinger!” You looked up from your spot in the common room, greeted by the commander looking about as pissed-off as usual, “My office now!”

Shit! What did I do…? Your thoughts ran rampant. You weren't a bad egg by any means but depending on the day the commander could go on a tirade over just about anything.

You stood in front of his desk, eyes trained straight forward. He was looking through a large manila folder. “Do you know why I called you in here?”

“No, Sir.”

“I have to send somebody from this squadron to Miramar…” Your brain was barely able to register the Commander’s words. “This might be against my better judgment, but I’m giving you your dream shot. I'm gonna send you up against the best. You’re going to Top Gun.”

Holy Shit…!

“Thank you, Sir.” You tried to keep a stoic look on your face but inside you were screaming. Top Gun was a big deal and you would be one of the few pilots included in the upcoming class!

“You ship out tomorrow. You're expected to be there Monday at 0500. Don’t make me regret this decision, Lieutenant. You’re dismissed. Go home and pack up.”

“I won’t let you down, Commander.”

You walked out and closed the office door behind you. You tried your best to contain your giddy smile. You bolted down the hall, running into the parking lot and towards your car. The first thing you did was pull out your phone and call your best friend.

Viper was stationed in Florida. The two of you were inseparable at the Academy, attached at the hip, and you didn’t let being stationed in different places stop this. Regardless of the distance, the two of you always stayed in touch, sharing whatever news and gossip came up wherever you were stationed.

“Hello?”

You couldn’t contain yourself and just screamed into the phone, “Guess what!!”

“Okay tone it down there, Sting. I don’t need you blowing out my eardrums.” She laughed.

“I’m going to Top Gun!”

“Oh?” There was a small pause, and you could hear her giggle softly. “That’s amazing, babe! I think there will be a lot in store for you there!" she paused for a moment. "You know, Top Gun, full of surprises!” You knew Viper was acting weird, but your excitement was taking over, and you couldn’t be bothered to ask what she knew. “I umm have to go but call me when you get to Miramar safe! Love you!” She hung up just as quickly as you called her.

Weird as that was you knew better than to question Viper. But the last thing on your mind was the fact that in the Navy, news travels fast and Viper knew much more than she was letting on. All you could think about was goodbye China Lake and hello Miramar!

“You accepted it? Don’t you think we should have talked about this first?” This was not exactly the reaction you were expecting from your boyfriend.

You met Tom about a year ago at a bar just off the China Lake base. You had been stationed at the Naval Air Weapons Station at China Lake since you graduated from the Academy. Being a skilled pilot with a talent for air-to-air combat, it was the perfect placement for you. Last fall, Tom moved to sunny California after being employed as a civilian contractor, hired to work on weapons navigation. The two of you seemed to click well and after a month of being friends, you decided to go out with one another. You hadn’t really dated anyone since the Academy, and it was a nice change of pace, for a while at least. As months went on Tom tended to, not so subtly, question your career as a naval pilot.

“I know, but this is Top Gun. This is a huge deal!” You said adrenalin running through, a giddy smile was plastered on your face. “This is the big leagues! And it’s still in California, only like a 4-hour drive.”

“I get that babe, but you really should have consulted me on such a big decision.”

Your smile began to fade, “You’re right I should have talked to you…” Tom always had a knack for bringing you down a couple of pegs.

“It’s cool and all but you have to consider how it could affect me, us. You know?"

“Yeah… I’m sorry.” You looked down at your feet.

“Hey, don’t give me that face.” He placed his finger under your chin lifting it so you would look at him. “You just have to think before you act.” He pulled you into a hug, “We’ll make it work.”

The drive to Miramar was surprisingly easy despite the traffic. You made it there in record time, partly due to your tendency to drive just a bit over the speed limit.

*Ping*

You looked at your phone expecting it to be Tom but the name on the notification read Phoenix. The two of you had gotten pretty close after her short stint at China Lake a couple of years ago. You were relieved when you found out that she was also accepted into Top Gun, the perspective of a familiar face made your nervousness subside.

You, me, Hard Deck 7 pm! The whole class is meeting up!

You smiled at the screen and all thoughts of Tom and the hope that he would text that he was glad you made it to Miramar safely quickly left your head.

You made it to the Hard Deck a few minutes after 7. As you walked in you saw a collection of khaki surrounding the pool table. You made eye contact with Phoenix, who lifted her empty glass with pleading eyes. You smiled, giving her a nod that indicated her next round was on you before you headed to the bar. You didn’t notice when more khaki uniforms shuffled into the already-packed bar.

“What do we have here? If it ain’t Phoenix!” A tall blonde made his way over to Phoenix and the others. “And here I thought we were special, Coyote. Turns out the invite went to anyone.”

She rolled her eyes, “Fellas, this here’s Bagman.”

“Hangman,” he smiled as if the snide comment didn’t bother him.

“Whatever.” She turned to Fanboy and Payback, “You’re looking at the only naval aviator on active duty with a confirmed air-to-air kill.”

“Stop.” He tried his best to fain embarrassment.

“Mind you, the other guy was in a museum piece from the Korean War.”

“Cold war,” he corrected. “Different wars, same century.”

She smiled back at him, “Not this one.”

“Who are your friends?” He nodded toward the two men on either side of her.

“Payback. Fanboy. And Stinger’s at the bar grabbing drinks.”

“Stinger...?” he spoke in barely a whisper. Hangman could feel his heart skip a beat at a name he hadn’t heard in years but never forgot. There’s no way…

After a few moments you made your way over to the pool table, Nat’s tequila and soda in one hand and your drink of choice in the other.

“What did I miss?” You said squeezing in next to Nat and handing her a drink.

I knew I'd see her around.

I'd be at some party, she'd show up and I'd be walking out.

“Stinger! This is-“

You interrupted before she could finish, “Hangman. It’s been a while, Seresin.” The corner of your lip turns up slightly as you maintain eye contact.

“That it has…” Jake’s eyes wandered through the room, itching for an escape. He figured it was inevitable that he would run into you again, but he wasn’t prepared for it to be now. He saw Rooster out of the corner of his eye, “Bradshaw! Is that you?” Bradley made his way over to the group and you watched as the two men had a dick-measuring contest.

You moved closer to Nat. “Well, he hasn’t changed,” she sighed as she turned back to you.

“Nope. Sure hasn’t…” a small smile making its way across your lips. You downed the rest of your drink, “I think I’m gonna head out. I have a lot of shit to do before Monday.” The reaction between you and Hangman had Nat curious but she knew better than to bombard you with questions.

You were barely at the parking lot before you had your phone in hand dialing Viper’s number. Time differences be damned!

“You knew, didn’t you?!”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You could hear Viper’s smile through the phone.

“You knew he was here!”

“Okay maybe… Yeah, I knew. But come on Sting… I know you still have feelings for him.”

“That doesn’t matter I have Tom...” You didn’t even sound convincing to yourself.

Viper held herself back from sharing her thoughts about Tom. “Well, a lot can happen in a few weeks. Maybe keep your options open.”

You rolled your eyes and let out a soft sigh. “I’ll talk to you later V. Love you.”

“Love you too, S. Be safe up there.”

The first two weeks had been maddening. Top Gun training was a lot, to put it mildly. Being so close to Jake Seresin brought up feelings you thought you had long since buried and it didn’t help that Tom was MIA due to work.

You were wrapping up your post-flight checks, humming along to the music softly playing from the speaker on your workbench.

We just needed some time.

Your mood dampened slightly at the choice of song. You didn’t listen to much country before you met Jake. Coming from the Lone Star State, it’s all he would listen to. It didn't take long for the genre to grow on you. But even after all those years, there was a pull somewhere in your heart whenever a song like that would come on.

Thought I would be fine, but maybe not.

“Hey, Honeybee.” Jake mentally hit himself for the nickname.

Speak of the devil.

You couldn’t help the shiver that made its way down your spine. You wouldn’t say it out loud but you missed the nickname. One only he ever got to call you.

You turned around to see Jake walking towards you. You stood, adjusting your flight suit.

“Good job out there today.” Jake was looking down at the ground.

“Thanks. Same to you.” You gave him a small smile just as his gaze made its way to your face. “Mav’s a hard ass, but this is a good team and I think we have what it takes.”

He couldn’t help but smile, “Hard ass might be underselling it, but I have to agree.” He looks back at the ground once more. “Hey, I’m happy you’re here. While I had some doubts about some of the pilot selections, I never had a second thought about you being here.”

“Thank you, Jake. I-“ Before you can finish your thought you hear a door open next to you. When you look over the sight of Tom is a surprising one. He had barely spoken to you since your arrival, let alone mention coming down to see you.

“Sorry, am I interrupting?” Tom’s arm was slung heavy and uncomfortable on your shoulders.

“Tom, this is Lt. Jake Seresin. He’s also attending Top Gun.”

Hangman extended a handout to Tom, “Nice to meet you, Tom.”

“Back at you, buddy.” Tom leaves Jake’s hand empty, pulling out his phone from his pocket. “Hey babe how about you clean up your grimy self and we meet somewhere for a drink.”

You try your best to brush off Tom’s brazen attitude, “Umm yeah we can meet at the Hard D-“

Tom cuts you off, moving his arm from your shoulder and turning all his focus to his phone, “Yeah. Cool. Let’s meet there in a few hours?” Without waiting for your reply, he starts making his way towards the exit. “Just send me the address.”

You let go of a sigh that caught you somewhat by surprise. “Well, I guess I should wrap up my checks and get out of here.” You couldn’t bring yourself to look at Jake.

Jake was taken aback by the little interaction but bit his tongue. He had no right to comment on your current relationship, even if he hated how the guy talked to you. “Yeah,” he paused for a brief moment, “I’ll see you at the Hard Deck.”

You couldn’t help the smile that formed on your face, “yeah, see you there.”

Jake sat at the bar of the Hard Deck watching Penny and the new bartender pour drinks while he debated his decision to come tonight. The second he saw you for the first time since the Academy, everything that happened between you and him came flooding back. Meeting you in Corpus Christi after your dad got promoted and stationed at their Naval Air Station, going to the Academy together, long nights spent studying, and even longer nights spent intertwined with one another. He missed you. He wanted to convince himself that he didn’t, but he did. He always wondered where you two would have been had you been stationed together after graduation or had you tried to make things work despite the distance. Maybe you wouldn’t have been with that jackass now…

Jake looked up from his drink to be met with a view of the said jackass. However, the hands that were hanging all over Tom, didn’t belong to you. Jake watched for a few more moments as Tom’s hands grabbed at the girl’s ass. Before he knew what he was doing, Jake was making his way towards Tom, taping the shorter, dark-haired man on the shoulder.

“What the-Ho, hey Jacky boy!” Tom’s demeanor quickly changed when faced with the taller blonde.

“It’s Jake.” Jake was straight-faced and unamused.

“Yeah, that’s what I said. Any way you mind?” Tom’s eyes moved from Jake to the girl and back to Jake, hoping that Jake would catch the hit and keep quiet.

I wanna jump out, I wanna fight, I wanna say, "F- that guy!" but I can’t.

Jake knew exactly what that look meant. While he wasn’t proud of it, he had a past. When you first met in high school, Jake had a reputation for having a high “catch and release” rate. It was because of that it took him a while to convince you that he wanted something different with you. After you things reverted, never wanting something serious if it wasn't with you.

The doors to the Hard Deck opened and your gaze was drawn to Jake. Thoughts of Tom were nonexistent, to the point where you couldn’t be bothered to notice the shorter, dark-haired man or the shorter woman hanging all over him.

You waved to try and get Hangman’s attention. On further inspection, you could tell that the man was seething. Jake wasn’t one to share his emotions much and he wasn’t the most readable, but after spending years with him you could read him like a book. When you finally reached the man, you were met with the source of his anger.

“Tom?”

The girl turned to you with a look of disgust, as if you were beneath her. “And who are you?”

“Well, girlfriend doesn’t seem like an appropriate title anymore,” your attention shifted from her back to your ex-boyfriend, “does it, Tom?”

Tom let out a laugh that made you want to shrink into yourself. “Sure, sure. You know what? Fuck you! I could have any girl I want! I don’t have to put up with this bullshit!”

“What bullshit? You’re the one with another woman hanging all over you.”

“Oh, seriously?” Tom looked to Jake and back at you, “Like you haven’t been slutting yourself out to guys like him?”

“Hey hey hey!” Penny moved toward the two of you, “I will not have this shit in my bar.”

Tom scoffed, “And what are you going to do about it?”

Penny smirked and ranked the bell. The whole crowd cheered as Tom looked around in confusion.

“Overboard! Overboard! Overboard!”

Before he had time to think, much less react, Tom was hoisted into the air and carried toward the exit. Before he knew it his ass hit the sand and the doors to the bar were slammed shit.

Jake looked over to you, you had shrunk into yourself at Tom’s words but tried your best to hide it. He gently placed his hand on your shoulder. “You wanna get outta here?” He gave you his iconic smile and you couldn't help but give him a small smile in return.

“Yeah, I would rather be anywhere but here right now.”

“I think I know just the place.” He cashed you both out with Penny and led you to his truck.

“I hope this isn’t your masterful plan to get me back in your bed.” Half joking you look over to him.

He let out a breathy laugh, while he liked the thought of you back in his arms, tangled in the sheets of his bed, he knew that’s not what you needed. At least not right now. “Unlike some, I am capable of think without using my dick.”

The two of you drove in comfortable silence. You noticed that he had driven you back to Miramar. He parked and you looked at him with some confusion. “Come on,” he hopped out, grabbing two blankets out of his back seat before making his way towards the back of the truck and you followed. “You remember back in Corpus Christi when we would sneak onto the base and watch the planes take off.” He laid out the blankets and lifted you to sit on the truck bed.

“I remember us almost getting arrested senior.” I couldn’t help but laugh as you remember that night. You also remember that being the night you two first kissed.

He jumped up to sit next to you, “Thankfully, we don’t have to worry about that.”

Your eyes drifted in his direction, taking in his form. His strong arms, his hands that were much larger than your own. His strong jaw and beautiful eyes. You knew your timing could have been better, but you couldn’t stop yourself, “I’ve missed you, Jake…” Your head came to rest on his shoulder.

His head came to rest slightly on your own, “I missed you too, Honeybee.”

Tags: @callsign-viper @luckyladycreator2 @saturnsbabe69 @desert-fern @pono-pura-vida

As always, feedback, likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated!𝑊𝑎𝑛𝑛𝑎 𝑏𝑒 𝑡𝑎𝑔𝑔𝑒𝑑? 𝐿𝑒𝑡 𝑚𝑒 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 💜

[dreamerdoesthewritething]

[Part 9 incoming. I really should name this thing, other than always referring to it as the AFAB Bestie x Leon fic series. I just don't know what to name it lmao. Also the whole Friends With Benefits suggestion came outta nowhere. This thing has a life of its own, I swear! Contains spoilers for RE4R]

[Post with links to previous parts]

Leon treated you to dinner that night. Nothing fancy, but not simple fast food, either. A little dine-in experience, which was a nice change of pace from what the two of you usually had when you were together. Him paying was also different. The waitress did try to give him free dessert once she realized you weren't his girlfriend, but Leon immediately passed it over to you, much to her chagrin. She tried to slip him her number on a napkin, too, only to stare in shock as he tore it up in front of her and tossed it in the trash. He didn't even apologize. In fact, he reported her to her supervisor for making him uncomfortable. You almost felt bad for the poor waitress as Leon took you away from the restaurant at the same moment her boss started chewing her out. Almost.

Don't disrespect his friend by ignoring her or you'll find out his civility only goes so far.

It's a nice night out. Leon suggests going for that "goddamn walk" you mentioned earlier while finally opening up to him. You're grateful the streetlights aren't bright enough to give away how red you become from being reminded of that. There's a park of decent size not too far from the diner and your home, with a large pond that has a nice stone bridge that crosses over it. You've been to it many times in your life. Tonight feels different, though. There's something about it ...You just can't put your finger on it.

You walk by Leon's side, hands in the pockets of your jacket. Leon mirrors you. You notice he's not wearing his favorite jacket, the one your parents sent him for a birthday gift a couple of months ago. The brown sheepskin bomber, ridiculously expensive but well worth the cost in everyone's opinion, was missing. Leon had been wearing it every chance he had since receiving it. Why not now?

Noticing your quizzical gaze, Leon let out an awkward chuckle. "Your parents are gonna kill me."

"Why?"

"Because I lost an eighteen hundred dollar jacket in Spain," he replies.

"Wha--How do you lose a jacket in Spain?"

"Get knocked the fuck out and someone steals it while you're unconscious," he says, and it's so casual you almost dismiss it.

"Leon...I think the jacket is the least important part of what you just said. What the hell happened to you in--? Oh, right. You probably can't tell me. Classified, need to know, etcetera."

"Technically yes," he admits. "But I'll tell you, anyway, if you really want to know."

"I don't want you to get into any trouble because of me."

"I get into trouble all the time, whether I want to or not. If Uncle Sam says to jump, I'm not even supposed to ask how high. I just do what the man says." The bitterness is so strong, you can almost taste it. He takes a deep breath. "So, do you want to know about Spain?"

You hesitate for a moment before saying, "If you're willing to share, I'm happy to listen."

So it begins. He tells you all about the mission, starting with what it was in the first place. President Graham's daughter, Ashley, was kidnapped from her college campus. A cult was responsible. They received intel from an unknown source that she was taken to a rural area in Spain. He was sent there, along with two cops from the area. He and Ingrid Hunnigan, the woman assigned to help provide him with information and to send out a chopper once Ashley was found, were forced to use stupid code names. "Condor One." "Baby Eagle." "Roost." As if those weren't obvious to whom they were referring.

The officers fell victim to the villagers, who had been infected with a parasite. A Plaga. Las Plagas. Los Illuminados, the cult responsible for Ashley's abduction, was to blame. They forced everyone they came in contact with to carry Las Plagas, injecting them with an egg that would hatch and proceed to steal control of the body from the host. If you were lucky, anyway. Some people they simply killed, like the cops who brought him to the village.

Las Plagas work as a hive mind, taking orders from one dominant Plaga who controlled the cult's leader, a man named Saddler. He wanted to infect Ashley to help spread the reach of Las Plagas throughout the world, or some shit like that. He also had Leon injected with a Plaga egg, intending to unite him with the so-called holy body.

Leon tries to explain what Las Plagas look like and how they affect you. Sounds like an alien invasion, or a scene from Alien. It's eerie how much of it sounds like it came straight out of the nightmares you had while Leon was living through it. The black veins. The blood red eyes. The parasites. The fleshy tentacled monstrous abominations. There's no way you should know what these things look like, yet you can recall them so clearly, like you saw them with your own eyes.

While fighting to stay himself and to save Ashley, he encountered some familiar faces he wishes he never saw again. Ada, who apparently survived Raccoon City and was in the area for the same reason she was in RC. Major Jack Krauser, his hardass mentor when he was first forced to become a special agent, who became disillusioned by the American government after the fallout of a different mission two years ago and decided to join Los Illuminados because of it. While Ada did provide some assistance when Leon needed it and it suited her, he wasn't happy to see her, especially since she lived and had a Plaga sample with her when she made her escape, just like she did with the G-Virus years ago. As for Krauser... He couldn't be saved. Not from Los Illuminados, not from Las Plagas, and certainly not from himself. Leon had no choice but to kill him.

Leon takes a moment to collect himself after revealing this, putting his arms on the stone railing on the bridge as he looks down into the pond water below. You stand by his side, copying his actions except you keep your eyes on him.

Like with Raccoon City, there were people he met and lost in the same day. Those two officers, killed by the villagers, of course. Then there was Luis Sera, or Luis Serra-Navarro. Luis. A researcher who once worked for Umbrella and then for Los Illuminados. He had a change of heart, decided to help Ashley and Leon since he already successfully removed his own Plaga, and went to great risk to do so. He did have an arrangement of some kind with Ada regarding that Plaga that Leon mentioned earlier, but...He was a good man who made some really shitty choices in his life. He died because he was helping Leon rescue Ashley. Krauser stabbed him in the back and then tried to kill Leon. One of Luis's final actions saved Leon from dying right along with him.

"Remind me to find a copy of Don Quixote," Leon says with a halfhearted smile. "Luis loved that book. Kept making references to it throughout our short time together. I know of it, but I've never read it. I should."

There was also Mike, the helicopter pilot who came to give Leon backup on the island where Ashley was taken. This was after dealing with the village and then the castle. Leon walks you through the journey somewhat quickly, dropping names of people he had to fight if he knows them and the places they were. Bitores Mendez, village. Ramon Salazar, castle. Osmund Saddler, island. When Leon was on the island in pursuit of Ashley, Mike showed up with the helicopter Hunnigan sent to support him. Mike helped even the odds against the well-armed Plagas-infected forces there, but was ultimately killed when some insectoid B.O.W.s attacked the chopper, causing him to lose control. All Leon knew about Mike was his name...and that he knew a good bar they could go to for drinks had he survived.

Ashley survived, though. Thanks to Luis and his laboratory on the island, she lived and she was cured of the Plaga. She in turn helped cure Leon of his when he passed out from the exhaustion of fighting for hours and hours on end with little time for resting. It's no wonder he's as battered and bruised as he is. It's a miracle he's not worse off, to be honest, or even dead.

You rest your hand on top of one of his, rubbing the back of it with your thumb. His other hand moves on top of it as he holds it in earnest, giving it a tight squeeze.

"Did you...have any thoughts of...doing something drastic while you were infected?" you ask with much hesitance.

He reads between the lines. "No, no. By the time I found out I was infected, I already had Ashley. She was my number one priority. I never really considered...Maybe, in the back of my mind, but if I did that, then I would've had to--Ashley..."

"What...was it like? I mean...if you don't mind me asking."

"Awful. Just...fucking awful. I wasn't in control of myself. It was painful to resist. Saddler's goddamn voice was in my head...I thought my head was going to fucking explode and a goddamn monster was going to take its place. Thought my body was going to...Ugh, I don't want to think about it anymore. I'm sorry."

"No, no, it's fine, I understand."

"It's over...for now. I'm not sure what Ada wanted that Plaga amber for...I can't believe I let her play me again. She makes me feel so--"

"You're not stupid, Leon. You want to see the best in people. You always have. She just took advantage of that. She didn't get as far as she has without the skills to back it up. Is Ada even her--?"

"No, it's not her real name. And even if it was, there's too many Ada Wongs out there to narrow down which one is her." Catching the look you're giving him out of the corner of his eye, he explains, "I've looked into it on my own time. You're still the only person I've ever told about Ada...Though in her line of work with B.O.W.s and bio-terrorism in general, her existence is probably not as secret as it once was."

"I'm sorry she's hurt you...again."

"Don't be. As much as I hate to admit it, without her being there, I'm not sure Ashley and I would've survived. So...She was helpful. Not sure if that balances the scales, exactly, but..."

"Well, I'm glad you made it. I just wish you wouldn't have to do this."

"Yeah. Me, too."

A long pause. Then, you say, "Let's go to Barnes & Noble tomorrow. It should have at least one copy of Don Quixote. The question is, you want the translated version, or are you good enough with Spanish to read it in its original language?"

He chuckled. "Sweetheart, I only know enough to get by. There's no way in hell I'd be able to read an entire book, even if I wanted to."

"Sounds like quitter talk, but fine. We'll do the English version and forget there's anything that could've possibly been lost in translation."

He raised an eyebrow, though in the dark of night you can't really see it. You just kind of know he's doing it. "We? What do you mean, 'we?'"

"I could read it with you. I've never read it before, either."

"Oh, you don't have to--"

"I want to, though. It's something we can do together, in your friend's honor."

He smiles. "I'd like that."

It's late. You should be heading back to your home, and Leon realizes this, too. He offers you his arm. With a small smile, you take it, resting your head against his bicep. Wow, even in its relaxed state, it's big. If there's one good thing that came out of Leon's enslavement, it's how it really whipped him into shape. You kind of miss when he was softer and a bit squishy, though.

There's a pleasant silence on the walk back. Leon feels a little lighter now that he's had a chance to talk about his experience against Los Illuminados. Even if it doesn't undo the damage, it at least reminds him that he doesn't have to be alone in this. You're here. You'll always be here.

And you're not going to be judgy like that professional people keep trying to push him to see. Fuck therapy. It hasn't helped him in the past and it won't help him now. Hell, they'd probably tell him the monsters he's fought and almost died to aren't real, that they're all in his head. Hallucinations. Yeah, no. He's had hallucinations. He knows the difference. He knows he does have issues, but some doctor who spends all day on a couch listening to people talk about their problems isn't going to solve them, especially when the existence of B.O.W.s isn't common knowledge.

"Hey, Leon."

"Yeah?"

"I was thinking back to that conversation we didn't have while making the guest bed. Did you...really imply you wanted us to be friends who, uh...?"

You trail off, too embarrassed to finish the question. He feels your face get hotter through the fabric of his jacket sleeve. You're not alone in that, however. He's just as flustered, if not more so.

"I, uh, might have, yeah. If that makes you uncomfortable--"

"It doesn't. It just...caught me off guard. It's not every day my best friend suggests we fuck, you know?" Nervous laughter escapes you as you resist the urge to pull away from him. "Especially since I admitted just before that that I...feel like your security blanket. If I was anyone else, I'd...assume you're finding another way to use me."

"Oh no, I didn't mean it like that at all. I'm sorry."

"It's fine, it's fine!" You're so quick to reassure him that he almost doesn't believe you. "I'm the one that made the joke about doing you in the first place, so I really don't have a problem with it. Really! The only reason I'm bringing it up is...I want to know if you meant it, or if it really was just us messing around."

Well now, how's Leon supposed to respond to that?

He remembers drunkenly confessing to loving you years ago, on the first anniversary of the end of Raccoon City. He even kissed you. You acted like it never happened. You probably didn't even believe him, given his mental state at the time. He chose not to bring it up again at the time because he realized his new life wouldn't allow a relationship to take up any space in it. It was too dangerous, too time-consuming, too demanding, and so much more.

But now, after everything that's happened and with the passing of time, he can't help wondering if he should try again.

"Actually, sweetheart, I...I did mean it."

"Wow," is your simple reply, quickly followed by, "I can't believe the Leon S. Kennedy thinks I'm fuckable. Holy shit..."

"It's not just that, babe. I love yo--"

"We'll have to take it slow," you say, oblivious to cutting Leon off. "I'm still a virgin, so I'll probably be really, really disappointing. You'll have to show me the ropes."

"The ropes? Isn't it early to be--?"

"Not actual ropes, silly! That kinky shit is way outta my comfort zone right now. Geez, I haven't even been touched by anyone and you think I wanna be tied up for my first time? Please."

You laugh, and the way your entire face lights up has Leon in awe as he looks down at you still clinging to his arm.

"At least you took me to dinner first," you add. "Such a gentleman."

"Whoa, hang on. I never said we'd--You're getting ahead of us here." That isn't to say you're implied enthusiasm isn't appreciated. It's kind of a turn-on, if anything. The heat is pooling in an area other than his face. Leon needs to try to focus on something else or--

"I know, I know. I'm not about to hop into bed with you without protection, which neither of us has at the house. And also...Well..." You hide your face in his arm, away from his gaze. You're unable to take it while thinking about this conversation. "I'm not ready for it. Not...Not yet. Which is dumb because I'm twenty-seven and practically everyone my age has fucked at least once, but--"

"There's nothing dumb about it, and there's nothing wrong with you."

"Isn't there, though? There's teenagers with more experience than me. I'm a grown woman. Shouldn't I have...?" You shake your head. "I guess that would've meant I let someone into my life, huh? Trusted someone to love and respect me? And I'd have to be attracted to someone other than yo--I mean, be attracted to someone." You sigh. "It's no wonder the only kiss I've had was when we were both drunk. I don't put myself out there enough."

"Nothing wrong with that." Leon maneuvers the arm you're holding so it's now around your shoulders, pulling you closer to him as he gives you a tight squeeze. "You're overthinking this, sweetheart. We're not going to jump right in and I'm not expecting anything from you. It doesn't even have to happen if you don't want it. The last thing I would ever want to do is push you into something you're not ready for. You set the pace. I'll follow your lead."

"I thought following a lady's lead wasn't your style."

You both laugh at that. Dorks. It's something stupid he's said before, something he often liked to believe he did. But for you, he'll make you an exception. You're always the exception. His exception.

He leans down to leave a kiss on the top of your head. You shrink into him, unable to do much else other than giggle in response. What's going on today? You have no clue what's gotten into Leon that he's coming onto you and giving you a kiss. At the very least, you know it's not alcohol. He hasn't had even a drop. His breath doesn't reek of it, either. So what was the deal?

Eh, you're not going to complain. You find yourself enjoying his doting too much to try to put a stop to it. Not to mention the possibility of something you imagined happening since high school might actually come true after all this time. Leon really knows how to make a lady feel special.

But you're just best friends.

You're not dating. You're not a couple. You're not together.

Just best friends...

...now with potential benefits.

[popculturebuffet]

Sam and Max Save the World Retrospective Finale: Bright Side of the Moon! (Patreon Review for WeirdKev27)

Hello all you happy freelance police and after a short delay, we're finally back with the final chapter of telltale and skunkape's SAM AND MAX SAVE THE WORLD! Rest assured as the fact i've often called this the sam and max telltale retrospective shows, i'm nothing if not consistent, this isn't the end of the road as we'll be going onto it's sequel, Beyond Time and Space, next month and The Devil's Playhouse whenever the remaster comes out. If I need to stall for time we've got PLENTY of other sam and max content to shove down your ravenous max sized gullets.

But the future is the future and the past is a rainbow colored cult leader our heroes have to stop in order to Save the World. It's been a long strange trip.. and honestly some of the most fun i've had doing these reviews. As I said in the first chapter of this retrospective, and I feel bears repeating now we're at the end... I often don't quote jokes.. because there's so damn many. Trying to do reactoin images recently I had to rely on a best of montage because the game is around 7 hours long and just.. DENSE with quotable lines. And even with that I've had to pace myself and only done about half an hour simply because the writing is that sharp. The level design is also fantastic for the most part, and the puzzles aren't that obtuse and this again being the internet age, when they are it isn't a problem. That also brings me to a few odds and ends about the game as a whole I haven't really talked about. The first is the hint system. See I did try this in the first chapter, but felt max was just rambling and it was a joke.

Yeah the hint system is very helpful, it's just sometimes you have to ask twice because it's max we're dealing with. Kev told me it was and I just.. plain forgot for most of the game till this chapter. I was so used to the gameplay loop of trying it myself then using the guide I genuinely forgot I had an in game helper there. I still required it when I got stuck on one puzzle, but for the most part it makes the game so much easier. And of course being a professional I took the fact there was a really helpful tool I could've been using this whole time like a pro

The other thing is the dialouge changes to the remaster, waited on till now so I didn't run into any spoilers I hadn't already run into years before doing this retrospective. And look I know a lot of longtime fans of Sam and Max aren't fans of the changes... but they were necessary. The game was 14 years old at the time and none of these jokes had aged well. And in a LOT of cases the replacement joke is better. To use an example in Reality 2.0 originally the googles they have for max were desgined for "special needs children"

Yeah it wasn't funny THEN, should not have been made in the first place, and has only aged worse with time. By contrast the replacement is the COPS emphasising you can use it for various sporting activities. It's a more sam and max joke than "Hey let's laugh at children with disablities!". There were other just.. outright gross jokes like asking "Why the sex change" when bosco crossdresses in the final chapter (More on that later), and bosco implying he pretends to be an underaged girl online. which just

NONE of that was funny to start with, so taking it out of the game dosen't really hurt it. It only dosen't work when they don't sub in another joke, and that's more "If your going to all the trouble to edit out these lines, re-record the dialouge and fix stuff up why didn't you make a new joke when you have for OTHER lines you cut out?" And even then i'm sure there's a rational explination why Skunkape didn't. It's fine to touch up your work for a rerelease especially when said work is simply something your not proud of anymore. If it's okay for them to touch up the textures, add needed accesiblity options, and other neat stuff.. why isn't it okay to get rid of some offensive stuff that simply dosen't really fit sam and max?

Now those odds and ends are out of the way it's time to return to the moon to put an end to this hypnosis scheme, reconnect with some old friends, and save the world. Goody!

Chapter wise, Bright Side of The Moon is a strong contender for my faviorite. It is REALLY hard to pick betweent his one and The Mob, The Mole and the Meatball. Writing good as usual, but there's an epic scope, a genuine tension and unease, and it really feels like a grand finale to everything you've done up to this point, while still keeping the level design tight. The only real issue is the long walk from the blister of tranquility back to your car. And having to walk back a bit when you need to get back to sam and max's street is a common issue it's just emphasized here. But overal one hell of a finale gameplay wise. let's get into the story.

We open with Sam catching up ot the audience.. by complicated deduction, he figures out Hugh Bliss is behind things, and finds out from the Chief where he is: THE MOON ALICE... I mean the giant face was kinda a big clue. So our heroes head back to the moon! I covered their previously moon adventure recently if your interested. It's in large part because Bad Day on The Moon is one of the only two stories pre-telltale explictly refrenced in this trilogy, via the photos in the boys office, the other being Meet the Road, from which both bosco's this season and stinky's next season come form, simply fleshed out into fully explorable places here. There's nothing saying the other Freelance Police comics or tv show aren't canon, and it's likely light on call backs outside of hit the road to be accesible to new audiences. And possibly rights issues ala the tick, which REALLY needs a proper comics refresh that brings it all together. But that's a retrospective for another day (and if anyone's intrested let me know).

For now our heroes head to the moon, and we see our first of MANY character returns, as , fitting a season finale, at least one major character from every previous chapter shows up on the moon, now having joined Prismatology. The only exception is the soda poppers...

It's a mildly weird omission but I get why: they only needed four call back characters for the puzzles, their terrible and I hate them, and their the only group present on the moon that didn't intersect in some way with Hugh's plan, so there's no real reason for him to care about them.

And we do find out his plan.. and I like how it's revealed: you can just casually find out in the gift shop. That's it. Hugh just has his plan up there.

It also is a shockingly well thought out one, as each plan had a contegency.. and as we find out this episode Hugh had both a moon base and a final plan should all these fails. You gotta admire the guy for being through. And each one in the previous chapter was a seroius threat to the world, an amusing as hell one sure, but if our heroes hadn't stopped it Hugh woudl've likely conquered the us and eventually the world. And even if he couldn't do that last part , his controllign the us would at least stall for time long enough for him to carry out his masterstroke with no one to stop him.

You might also be noticing that Brady.. is absent. And that's because his plan, while kicking off our heroes knowing about hypnotisim.. wasn't planned. It's also nicely set up that way: unlike the others after ther'es never a reveal of a larger part of the conspiracy and his plan does nothing to help Hugh in the long run. It's just to make BRADY feel better and bigger, with his minons being chosen.. because their show was succesful and his wasn't. As for how Brady stole the protype goggles, also from the gift shop, hence Harry Mole now working as security. Thankfully he ONLY checks sam so we're able to smuggle a telekinesis talismen out in max... though we'll have to get it out later.

The TK Talismen is one of several we'll collect but first we have to get past sam and max's oldest and most dangeorus foe: DOORS!

Yes once again Agent Superball is guarding one. This time it's a bit easier though, as he gives us a unicorn which tests one's prismatology level. It also allows you to ask everyone "Want to touch my unicorn" which is just the best. Sam gives you the solution, pointing out how it likely works like a cheap mood ring, so you simply need to heat it up.. and I figured out HOW quickly... All it requires is a quick jaunt back to earth, as we start the adventure on the moon. Before we check in on Sybil and Bosco, I check the closet.. and also get the coat hanger for the tv again. Sadly... the last trophy room item is pretty weak, just the vr gag. There's a great and entirely close to home gag out of how they destroyed the internet

But it feels like a let down after the presidents head and leonard> Leonard is plot relevant this time as Max fed him the deed to america. Like the talisman we can't get it YET, but we shall. So it's time to check in with Bosco but before using his micro we see his deal for the episode: He's become his mother!.. no really he's pretending to be her and unlike most of his personas which are just a shoddy accent, he commits to the bit and it's hilarious. Gratned Sam and Max being.. shocked by this as much as they are has aged like wet cheese on the titanic, he's just wearing drag, but Max's frustration Bosco won't break character and eventually buying into the bit is comedy gold.

Anyways Bosco is selling an earthquake machine but as usual we can't buy it yet. We can however use his Microwave to cheat the system, and I do like that Bosco's various conviences are something that commonly come up to solve the puzzles. It's something you'd think of instantly given their always there, especially after the ketchups come in play twice and instead of calling you a dum dum for thinking that they just.. let you be right.

Before we go back to the moon though we check on Sybil and for her final random job.. and i'm goign to miss these as I didn't realize till Kev told me that next season your quest buddies change. Sybil and Bosco aren't written OUT, but I will be sad to see them not around as much.

WIth Sybil though I kinda get it as it's entirely hard to top her FINAL JOB... QUEEN. OF. CANADA. Yes really. It's both so entirely random and such an escalation from her previous more mundane jobs as dating service person, carbondater and beta tester. It's a cermonial thing but it's still just a heck of a reveal and a lot of fun with canadian sterotypes. I assume Red Green is her minister of ducktape and her minister of annoyance is of course.. Lorne

I assume he was one of Max's presidental pardons. I also assume one of the cofnidtions was he was shipped in a crate second class. It had at least one airhole though.. maybe... so that was nice of him.

At any rate this will naturally be useful to us later. It does give me a chance to talk about the gameplay loop though.. and how it works. You'd THINK after 6 chapters of "go to sybil or bosco to move the plot along" it'd get boring.. but honestly.. no. The writing is sharp, and each time things are radically different. I mean across these 6 chapters Sybil gets locked up by a patient, gives you a psyche eval, needs her death faked by you without her realizing it to save her from the toy mafia, has a dating service, gets her heart broken by you two via the lincoln memorial, beta tests and finally becomes queen of canada among some other shenanigans we'll get to. While with bosco he takes on various disguises, has some new doodad set up or someone hassling him, from jimmy twice, once as a skinbody once as himself, to whizzer.. you'll ALWAYS need to visit these two.. but they'll always have some funny stuff to say and something fresh. It's a way to recycle the enviornments sure but it dosen't feel stale. I can see why they swap them out next time: as sad as I was to find that out it DOES make sense to change your item buddies each game to keep things fresh.

Anywho, now we can get through the door via our bright red unicorn horn

So we're on to the next part of this episode and it's fairly straight forward: Hugh Bliss is in the deepest part of his blister of tranquilty, which is a very close second with Ted. E Bears to my faviorite setting of the game. It's weird rainbow amusment park complete with a roller coaster, a shark floating in acid, and as said earlier a gaggle of familiar faces from each chapter, each having a new prismatology talismen that grants a psychic power we need to get to the final section of the chapter. Starting with the most familiar of faces, we have Abe Lincoln, whose not really happy to see the guys who blew him up real good a few chapters ago. Hilariously though it's not any of the obvious reasons: he's fine being just a head, and as for loosing the presidency only a "grade a psyschopath" would want the roll. Max is naturally touched> I mean grade a. His real beef is that they ruined his chances with Sybil... deciding he wanted to get back out there. Max has.. several questions about that.. questions we thankfully don't here as otherwise the rest of this review would just be me rambling incoherently from madness. Not the BIGGEST difference mind but I like to at least have the illusion of quality control here.

Our heroes are happy to help and thus we get one of the funniest sequences in the entire game as the two have to feed abe lincoln pickup lines. It's easily the best of these long strings of "answer it right or go back to start" puzzles, as there are just enough options to get a LOT of great comedy out of Lincoln's horrible pickup lines and Sybil's annoyance, but not so long it becomes frustrating like the midtown cowboys stuff in episode 2. You successfully get the head of abe lincoln laid

And get us the talismen. The next one is an eye that can see through stuff and it's with our old friends the C.O.P.S. who are a TAD mad about our heroes taking away their goodhood, but allow them to beta test their game. Which once again and not with hyperbole, is one of the best jokes in all 6 chapters. Seriously the writing for this chapter is the peak of Save the World: In a post apocalyptic hellscae only the strong survive. Can you face the challenge of TIC, TAC, TOE?! Well you shouldn't as you need to loose. luckily the game just sorta. .had me loose. I was genuinly trying to win but either the game was rigged for me to, or the switch futzed it up. Either way , another talismen got. Now before we get our last one we need to open our present from the gift shop. Getting it out of max was easy, just use the gastronomy talismen, which I already had when I had him eat it. The hard part.. is getting the thing open. It took me ages and was the one puzzle that REALLY got me for this chapter. I looked it pu and it turns out it's simple. There's a lunar landar outside you can get into, using your coathanger, netting the key. You simply place the talismen under it, activate the lander which can only go up an ddown and boom, telekensis kyle. Well specifically bending anything similar to a spoon, which is clever. Is the puzzle frustrating? yes. Is the prize worth it? yes. So with that our final talismen, which allows you to pull jimmy out of a hat. Just him. To get it we talk to Philo Pennyworth, the most welcome return of all. I mean I fucking love the COPS but i've got minor spoilers they'll be in the next two games. I don't think Philo shows up nearly as much so his long awaited return was appricated. He can pull jimm y out of his hat but since jimmy's clinging to a parking meter to avoid more shenanigans from our heroes, we have to bend him off. With that philo pulls him out and is disgusted enough to let us have his talismen.

With that we can enter hugh's sanctum, which is neat, using the spoon bender to open the door, the eye to see so we can bend the door and jimmy to hit the switch.

Normally this would be where our heroes confront our villian, violence and some puzzles and jokes ensue... but in a clever twist on telltale's part... Hugh KNEW they were coming, would likely do some shenanigans to get into his sanctum and presumibly what htey had for lunch. For the record it was a hamsteak with extra gravy and extra ham and an all dress flavor stygian being of questionable origin. It also turns out our heroes are too late as while Hugh didn't do it 25 minutes ago.. his plan is already set up: to use a crystal thing with him in the center to make EVERYONE on earth Hugh bliss.

As for WHY he'd do that, it turns out he's a sentient colony of plankton and eats emotions, a neat and utterly batshit twist, and his translucent look he takes on for a second is genuinely unsettling. Really Hugh's entire demeanor post turn is unsettling as he's still got that squeaky sing song voice, think Regular Shows Pops if he snorted hellium.. but instead of being just.. blindly happy and a tad hammy, you can also sense his malice and pride at what he's done. Sure guys gotta eat but he's just so gleeful. Now granted you could poke holes in this , say there were easier ways than mass hypnosis to get a free emotoinal meal, etc etc... but you have to remmeber what game we've been playing for the past 6 months

So it REALLY dosen't matter and the fact Hugh went to all this lengths is likely part of the joke. But the one thing that can stop endless bliss? Max. His chaos is the one thing that can possibly upset this plan... so Hugh lured him here to steal his bliss... so he takes out his sloth, hunger and violence, leaving Max a shell, Sam disturbed and our heroes needing to round up three other maxes to restore him to proper zaniness and resotre the world. First up is Red Max, all of max's anger and violence.. and he's SHOCKINGLY disturbing. Usually max' s violent tendencies are played for laughs, the violence done off screen. This max.. has a gun, laughs manically and is geninely creepy. Dispatching him is nicely tricky but not too bad once you think it out: being a max, red max jumps around, jumpsa round, get up get up get down.. and his stalking grounds just so happen to be right next to the roller coaster. This.. really just gives him a fun ride, but luckily there's a big ole chekov's spork on the track, and since it's spon adjacent, you can bend it, send Red Max for a ride.. and disarm him. Or dishand him. Max gets his rage back and we're on to our next one.

Our next max to collect is the Green max, who being the embodiment of max's endless hunger for sentient planets and artifical cheese, is currently terroizing boscos. Suprisingly you DON'T use the gastrolgy talismen which is good as i'm pretty sure the contents of Green Max's stomach at this point would get Telltale brought up on obscenity charges. The solution is no less horrific though: you FEED HIM JIMMY. Yes you have him eat a rat.. which to be fair i'm sure Max's has done at some point but is still pretty .. eeeuuugh. We use the magician's hat from fethearly to pull him and max's stomach out which is way less graphic than it sound but still will haunt my nightmares for many moons to come, and thus max has his hunger back.

All that's left is sloth which, while max is OCASIONALLY lazy is the only one tha tdosen't quite fit. This max just... lays on the moon. To get him we finally give Sybil her due in one of the funniest callbacks of the game. So you remember how max was feeding the deed to the united states to leonard?

Turns out you need to get him to cough it up, give the deed to Cybil and canada now owns the untied states!

Seriously I.. don't see a downside. With that she gives us the money for bosco who charged a zillion dollars this time. I also love his justification "All I know is I keep making up the biggest price I can think of and you guys keep paying it, now tell me, whose crazy?". With that we have the earthquake machine.. aka the last of his satlite network. I'd also be remiss if I didn't point out the finally "do you have any" gag. See the rest are all just a great stream of Sam asking Bosco for random stuff. This one though.. turns out EVERY ONE is a solution to a previous puzzle. It's fucking glorious especially with Max's mounting bafflement that in all the things sam asked for he never asked for these when heneeded them. Bosco DOSEN'T have hugh bliss tied up back there, but can't blame Sam for trying. It's a brillaint payoff to what's already one of the best running gags in the series.

So with that we head, whoah oh, back to the moon again, and use the satlite to flip lazy max over, take his tale and max is' restored. With that we're FINALLY to the finale, with Hugh, mad they were able to beat him, deciding to put on a show.. specifically putting Sam thorugh a ton of magic stuff while max watches from the crystal chamber thing. It's easily the best climax of the whole game: tense, fun, and using every talismen you've gotten so far to turn the tables on hugh before using the lunar lander to finish him off. Hugh Bliss is no more. Problem is.. the machine goes off so now everyone is maxified. Our heroes naturally have a solution for that though... PUNCH EVERY PERSON IN THE WORLD. I'm.. not exagerating or underplaying it. That's how season 1 ends. Our heroes are happy, the world is saved and Max is going to punch every last person to de-max them. And that would honestly be a perfect ending to a perfect season of gammery.. but this being sam nad max they took it one last step further for the credits.... which is max punching EVERY single character we've seen, or most of them at least to the games best song. I didn't think you could top War.. but .. here we are

It both beautifully sums up max, and is a relaxing and hilaroius way to close out a relaxing and hilaroius game. I can't stop listening to it, not that i've tired very hard. It's so damn good. It utterly baffled me when I saw it, but I still loved it. I can't belivie THIS I show they ended it.. but I can't imagine a more perfect ending to this game. As an added touch the menu music for the remaster is an insturmental of this so it makes a nice bookened for your adventure.

So with that we've closed out Save the World.. and this may be one of the funnest experinces i've had reviewing. It not only opened me up to finally reviewing games, with more to come, but I got to play a game i'd long craved to , got paid for it and enjoyed every second of it. All thanks to kev. While this only ends the first third of this project.. it dosen't make it any less special or hard to say good bye to this game. This was true fun and I thank so many of you for reading... and see you next month for round 2.

[storiesofsvu]

it's thursday, lets round up law and order night

Just discovered I can select citytv toronto so I can watch this shit at 5pm. Fucking win. 

Okay, the way these eps are airing doesn’t make our hypothesis about the maddie case coming to canada to launch CO:TO make sense, we’ll see… 

Not shaw instantly knowing it’s a dating app 👀👀 

Jfc...word on my laptop doesnt want to open, im stuck doing this through safari, fuck i hate the way technology is changing... hoping it works later, i was planning on writing tonight. Ugh. 

Man, the way that receptionists/door staff is always all “hey! Excuse me! You can’t go back there” always makes me laugh, like, first off, how do the cops know where they’re going/that the person theyre looking for is actually back there?  

Why are there no lights on in this courtroom? Wtf? 

Nolan just tells sam to do all the work and then takes lead on all the cases, huh? 

The way this ep is going its lowkey looking like mccoy is getting fired/forced to retire, not doing it voluntarily lol. 

Lol, i give no shits if they fire nolan, just don’t touch my samantha bebe pls. 

Okay so they really are setting mccoy up to being fired, hey? 

All of these shows would be SO much better if they actually just acknowledged that they all exist in the same universe/city. Like... i’d love to see the same recurring cast members as the defence attorneys/judges/etc as the same characters in all three shows. Or like, have them mention each other, like in this ep they easily could have at least been like “hold on, I'll call benson, maybe she caught the case” no need to guest star, just mention it. Though they could guest star the other characters considering svu is only giving screen time to M and Ice... 

I am SO bored watching jack in court... where’s the spunk? 

There is way too much political shit that goes into this. Ugh.  

Also this send off is lame. They really couldnt have done it any better? The promos made me think it was some big celebratory thing... 

Yeah that was lame as shit. 

Alright... moment of truth.... is CI Toronto going to be good or absolute crap? 

Why is it tinted blue? This is like when shows “go to mexico” and they just tint the screen yellow. Do they think canada is blue tinted because of the snow/cold? 

Theme song does not slap. 

Where did my subtitles go?? 

Okay the liutenant is my faourite part so far. I like her. Female detective is on the fence for me right now, i don’t like the dude. 

Are they not carrying guns?? Does dick wolf think canadian cops don’t carry guns? Cause i assure you they do... 

LOL at the casual dropping of facts about characters we know nothing about. She has a kid, noted. 

... i stopped paying attention, i can’t lie. This isn’t terrible, but it isn’t great. We coulda had For the Defence... 

Okay, so like i said, not terrible, but i found it pretty boring.  

Moving on to SVU 

Okay this is clearly some kind of abduction situation going on. 

Velasco got a line! Yay! 

Wanna steal that plaid...ngl. 

“aren’t you a captain” THAT IS EXACTLY MY QUESTION, HOW DOES THIS SQUAD NOW HAVE TWO CAPTAINS??!! Make it make sense!! 

“and you needed a rollins” thank you fin for telling it like it is. 

Liv is off her fucking rocker man, like yeah, the kid on the train obvi needs help, and they should intervene and there is a slight chance that it is related to the maddie situation, but that’s the only thing she can see righ tnow and it’s not making for a good show. 

Say pittsburg one more time. I dare you. 

“it’s captain benson” uh... eileen called *her* why did that phone convo go like that? 

The delulu in this episode is stronger than my delulu imagining being married to fictional charaters jfc.. 

“happi burger” ?!?!? I'm having s9 flashbacks 

Aaaand a guest star that was on the show in the last year and a half is guest starring again... as a different character... not surprised. *sigh* (at the v least she’s acting her ass off and is good at what she does so...) 

Liv you have as many issues as this agent, don’t try and make her seem like she should open up to you lololol. 

“you sure youre not just projecting?” THANK YOU 

Thank fuck this gd maddie shit is finally done with. I am over it lol. 

Liv's out here just adopting rescues from all sorts of different departments temporarily, this doesn’t make any sense. 

Omg this OC flashback just made me so excited, all the amazing shit that happened last week LOL. 

Literally thought that old man was mcgrath.. 

I'm sorry... if i find something in a *bathroom* garbage can, the last thing I'm doing is putting it in my *mouth* 

Ayanna being all “gimmie!” about the stuffie is adorable. I may have to write some kind of fix it fic for her/this situation.... 

Okay that was lazy writing, Rita’s friend literally just basically repeated the exact same phrase twice... 

“no gps to pull from a camera” that is a straight up fucking lie. Both my point and shoot and my dslr have gps... 

This other tech guy working for them (ai guy?) he reminds me of kevin from crimi. Not sure if that’s just the over eager-second choice tech- guy vibes or if its something else... 

I don’t trust this bitch. At all. She's gotta be in on it. 

Hahahahaha elliot’s face when he walks in to jet and bobby in the room lol. 

This hate crimes guy is growing on me. 

Anyone else looking at the parallels of liv being hyperfocused on maddie and finding her, meanwhile elliot was so wrapped up with the Rita situation in the last season and now is so upset/lost about losing her... 

AYANNA CUDDLING HER LIL STUFFIE AHHHH *soft* 

[mlobsters]

supernatural s7e14 plucky pennywhistle's magic menagerie (w. andrew dabb, daniel loflin)

(from the recap) i love baby sam's "and apparently clowns kill!" response to dean's "planes crash" phobia justification

oh is this a christmas episode? aired in february. ok

DEAN I hope he finds something quick. This whole protocol du jour thing's really creeping my cheese.

that's some kind of expression

SAM So, we got dick on Dick? DEAN That's a vivid way of putting it.

--

SAM ...I might have found something over in Kansas. DEAN All right, well, let's do it. But, uh, a few simple rules, okay? No babies. SAM smiles. DEAN In fact, no baby mamas. No bars. No booze – no hot chicks of any kind. SAM Wait, wait, wait. Did you just say – DEAN Hey. You spawn a monster baby, see how quick you want to dive back in the pool.

no booze? yeah right, my dude. gotta sell that fake beer brand

the sideburns heard me and staged a comeback

DEAN Plucky's. Why does that sound familiar? NANNY Plucky Pennywhistle's Magical Menagerie? Pizza chain for kids. Actually, more for lazy parents.

was that a, "ah yes now i remember dad dumping us there" moment or what. is this the clown phobia origin story?

yo, this reminds me of my favorite book when i was like, middle schoolish age, sphere by michael crichton. i wrote him a letter for a project asking about the ending of the book. sadly, did not get a response. anyway. manifested thoughts/fears after you went inside it. a giant squid was involved. childhood fear from 20,000 leagues under the sea. does entering the chuck e cheese knockoff do it

ok.

oh, so it wasn't dad dumping them there, it was dean!

SAM (on phone) Uh, you would dump me and go trolling for chicks. DEAN (on phone) It's not like I left you in jail. I mean, those places are supposed to be fun. SAM (on phone) Fun? Uh, they're lame. And they smell like puke. And the ice cream is all grainy.

still ridiculous but cute. i will take lighthearted bickering and teasing any way i can get it. and padalecki's over the top acting seriously freaked out and nervous while also pretty nonsensical, i will take

alSO. retroactively irritated about calling a place like this for "lazy parents". i have 3 kids (they're 9, 7 and 5 years old) and hoo boy. non-parents being judgey about parenting lol

here's a niche one, another because i've seen it so many times i remember person. very small part on the killing

the killing s2e5 jennifer spence as eve

insufferable perky child self, wouldn't think he was all "i don't know why i'm doing anything anymore" last episode

DEAN Cops have a theory? SAM Yeah, they think the ball washer did it. DEAN The what? SAM The... ball washer. DEAN [smiling] The what? SAM The ball – SAM holds up his hands in frustration.

--

DEAN "Shark Week," man. How do you not watch that? SAM walks away. DEAN Whole week of sharks.

shark week is another thing i've seen enough in fic and assumed it was fanon :) the canon is so plentiful, don't even need fanon

cringing my way through this over the top goofy plucky's employee interrogation sequence.

dean/jackles laughing is so sincere like he couldn't get out the line, adorable. terribly endearing this whole interaction. reminds me when dean was trying to convince himself he was having more fun being with cas and no sam

from s5e3 free to be you and me: CASTIEL What's so funny? DEAN Oh, nothing. Whoo. It's been a long time since I've laughed that hard. It's been more than a long time. Years.

lot of good brother moments this episode and mild to moderate cringing. i'll take it

[lalinna]

The Psychic was Right - And That Makes Her Irrelevant Going Forward

First of all, I'd like to preface this by saying I am 90% sure that this is not where the show is going and that my take is almost certainly wrong. Still, I like it, so bear with me.

Oh, yeah, SPOILERS FOR TED LASSO 3x08

Ok, so this week, in an episode that was very significant for many characters, we saw Ted holding the f**** green matchbook.

OMG, what does this mean???

As far as this theory goes, nothing. And everything. Nothing when it comes to the possibility of them becoming an item, but everything in regards to the key word in the psychic's prediction: family.

It seems like everyone is waiting for this last prediction to come true. We've seen the green matchbook multiple times, now (I'll come back to it). We heard the shite in ninning armor line. Rebecca was upside down and drenched in the Amsterdam episode. So the final one, the big one - is Rebecca going to have a family?

Yes. Obviously. Except she isn't going to, she already has it. It's A. F. C. Richmond. This is not a cop out, in fact, I think it perfectly fits the found family theme that the show touches quite often.

Rebecca was married before, but she and Rupert, one thing they weren't, was family, and that extended to the team he was so convinced he loved, but which he ditched with surprising ease, and that she hated, until it stopped being an extension of Rupert and became HER team, populated with people she actually cares about.

But A.F.C. Richmond is much more than her team. It's Jamie's, the guy with such a difficult relationship with his own father. It's Roy's, the guy who lost his grandfather before he could see him become great. It's Sam's, the player with a wonderful family that lives so far away. It's Ted's, whose life was turned upside down when his marriage ended, and who misses his son so much. It's Keeley's, it's Higgins', It's Beard's, Trent's, it could even be Nate's again.

This is A.F.C. Richmond's family, this is Rebecca's family. Symbolizing their bond is that little green matchbook, a souvenir from when the family got together to celebrate Sam's new restaurant, the same family who was also there to help him rebuild after intolerance tried to destroy his achievement. That's why we keep seeing it, because every member of that family has one of those.

So there you have it. All the psychic's predictions have already come true. Rebecca has a wonderful family, so we don't need fortune-telling anymore. Screw destiny, the characters are in charge of their futures.

What would this mean for Rebecca's romantic future? Well, I think it means she will get what she wants, which appears to be another family, now a nuclear one. And she'll get it because she's an amazing badass who will make this happen, because she's so cool and so awesome that's easy to fall in love with her. And the having children part, well, there is always adoption, and there is always the possibility of step kids.

I was about to say that my money is on Dutch Guy, but... nah, it's not my money that's on Dutch Guy, I'm just projecting, because he's so my type. I mean, yeah, he's kind of a manic pixie dream dude, but he's MY kind of manic pixie dream dude. So before I get even more sidetracked, I'll just say that Rebecca's hapiness, at least according to this theory of mine, is no longer tied to any psychic predictions. She will build her own story, and I am confident that she will do it well.

[bisamwilson]

I have two bc I really love your fics (I hope that's okay) religion (u can lay your hands on me) - 3

(it's your kiss) hey princess - 5

of course two is okay!!!! the more the merrier :) and thanks so much for reading my fics omg <3

(questions from this ask)

fun fact every time i reblog these i'm excited to get questions and then i remember i have never remembered anything i've written ever so i just skimmed through a quick reread of religion lmao askjdhfkad

3. What’s your favorite line of narration? (religion)

i feel like this is a cop out but i'm very partial to some of the opening narration bc bucky pining is my jam. like i wrote this in the fic and i was like damn should i keep going? i’m three sentences in and i’ve already peaked lmaooo

He’s still not entirely sure how he got to this point in the first place, straddling Sam’s back and roaming his hands over his skin, but as he digs his thumbs into Sam’s shoulders and runs them down his bare back until he finds the pressure point on his spine, he can’t decide if this is a gift to be treasured or the world’s cruelest punishment.

Whatever he’s done in his life, both as hero and assassin, he doesn’t think he deserves it.

on a less serious note, my favorite thing i’ve ever put in a fic ever is also in religion, which is, of course

God, Bucky really does love arm.

5. What part was hardest to write? (hey princess)

does “the outline” count as an answer to this? bc for real, the hardest part of hey princess was trying to write an au that wasn’t just the movie in its entirety with sam and bucky instead of mia and nicholas. i think i did a decent job????? idk i’m very proud of that fic but i do still worry it was Too Similar,,,

because of this, i had a lot of issues with chapters 3 and 4 in particular, as that’s when i really was like “fuck i’ve written a ton of words and this needs to be more distinct” and also that was when i switched from the arranged marriage partner being maria rambeau to ayo and making sarahayo happen, so those two chapters in particular took significantly longer than the rest of the fic to write. i think i’d really found my rhythm and my way by the end of chapter four though, and i wrote the rest of the fic in like less than a month! 

but yeah hopefully those first four chapters aren’t too clumsy lmao. people seemed to like them tho, so i think it turned out alright!

thanks for the ask, again <3

[threewaysdivided]

I saw your conversation about Sam Manson. I was talking to Imekitty about this, but I’ve noticed a few things that (sort of) make Sam’s relationship with her parents seem more like teen-drama than actual hardship. If you look closely, she’s got a lot in common with them: outspoken political-activism, possible shared-interest in vintage clothes, and no shame in saying they don’t like certain people. Also, after the Fentons, they were the first to volunteer to use the Ecto-Skeleton, risks and all.

(In reference to this post.)

It’s been a little while since I rewatched DP so I’m not well-placed to do a detail-analysis implication-breakdown right now, but yeah - that fits with the overall impression I remember getting.  To me they came across as being sort of old fashioned set-in-their-ways conservative and snooty, and maybe a bit too Pleasantville -  but more often in the way of parents who do genuinely want good things for her and to be able to be proud of her despite not really understanding her interests, choices or friends and being very bad at expressing it.  Plus she seems to have her grandmother fully in her corner a lot of the time.

I really wish that the writers had committed to one or the other; either making it clear that Sam’s martyr/ persecution complex is mostly just regular self-inflicted teen-drama BS and giving her an arc addressing it, OR fleshing out the idea that she faces a lot of judgement/ pressure/ control/ nonacceptance in her home life and that her negative traits are a bi-product of defensive/ coping mechanisms resulting from that strained dynamic, rather treating things with Roger Rabbit Rules.  

(Which isn’t to say that a person can’t have similar interests/ personality traits to, and positive interactions with, their parents while still having a strained, broken or even abusive relationship with them on a deeper level, but the show never really goes hard enough in either direction to make it work.)

As mentioned the last post, this is kind of a consistent pattern across DP - the writers tend go with the low-effort first answer for whatever is Funny or Awesome or Convenient in the moment rather than putting in the work to find a solution that’s consistent with the characterisation, themes and world-lore overall.  There’s enough internal contradiction in the show that I don’t think it’s actually possible to take every canon detail as canon without fundamentally breaking things.  And in some ways that’s kind of cool; it makes the series more open to interpretation, and trying to distinguish authorial intent from authorial incompetence and come up with theories that account for as many pieces of canon as possible is really satisfying.  But, you know, it’s also kind of bad writing in general.

I think the thing that bothers me about Sam’s characterisation in particular is that - where it tends to be more obviously out-of-character when it shows up in other places - there’s a pattern to the inconsistency with how the writers handle Sam:

Throughout the series there’s a double standard in how Sam sees herself/ seems to expects others to act, compared to her own behaviour:

Despite being pro-pacifism she’s okay with smacking Tucker and encouraging Danny to destroy the trucks she doesn’t like

Sam values self-expression and is a feminist, but derides other girls for wanting to express themselves in a conventionally feminine way

Sam doesn’t like being forced to conform to others’ values but is okay with forcing others to conform to hers

Despite being anti-consumerist she shows very little discomfort at, or awareness of, her lavish home life and material belongings

She encourages Danny to take the moral high ground towards his bullies but has no problem antagonising and getting into petty verbal spats with Paulina herself

Sam stalks Danny and his love interest out of jealousy/ protectiveness but threatens to end their friendship when he does the same

In Mystery Meat, when Danny tries to express his discomfort/ anxiety, Sam hijacks the conversation to complain about her own parents instead of listening.

In One of a Kind Sam photographs Danny and Tucker hugging in their sleep, without their knowledge, with the stated intent of putting it in the yearbook, then uses it to blackmail them into silence. 

Side note: this joke is also tacky on a meta-level because it boils down to “male intimacy ha ha toxic masculinity no homo amiright?“ Would have been nice if show didn’t use low-key sexist humour as much as it did.

Instead of expressing that she’s hurt by Danny’s “pretty girls” comment in Parental Bonding, Sam retaliates by pushing him to ask Paulina out - a move she knows will most likely result in him getting publicly shut down and humiliated.

Then, after getting the result she wanted, she comes over to gloat and insults Paulina, rather than dropping it now that her point’s been made, which is what ultimately sets off the episode’s subplot.

In Memory Blank Sam permanently physically alters Phantom’s appearance to better suit her tastes while he’s not in a position to understand or give informed consent, then lies when Danny notices and asks about it later.

To be clear this definitely isn’t the be-all-and-end-all of her character and it’s not there 100% of the time - there are plenty of moments when she is loyal and generous and helpful and sincerely kind and where her stubbornness comes in handy.  But it’s the aggregate pattern of all these small instances that drives a crack through the foundation of her character integrity; producing this insidious undercurrent alternate-reading of Sam as someone who, at a deep level, just doesn’t respect or recognise that the emotional needs, pains, opinions, autonomy and boundaries of others are as real and valid as her own, and who responds to criticism with passive-aggressive hostility.

Again, I think that’s why people are so quick to point out that line from Phantom Planet, even though we all know the episode was a complete mess.  None of the examples above are particularly bad in isolation - you can’t really point at any one of them and say “oh no, bad girl” without sounding like you’re making a mountain out of molehill and irrationally hating on her just to hate on her.  It’s an uncomfortable slowburn pattern of subtle micro-transgressions that accumulates across the series - a “you might not notice it but your brain did”.  And it makes sense that it would be the worst-written episode that amplifies and brings that regular bad-writing undercurrent close enough to the surface for people to consciously recognise and use it to articulate those frustrations.

To wit: Not because it’s most telling of her character but because it’s most telling of the specific bad writing that regularly hurts her character. 

And again, from a storytelling point of view, it’s okay for Sam to have flaws.  She’s a teenager!  She’s learning.  She’s allowed to be egocentric and self-important and do things that aren’t the best at times.  It’s okay if these are her character weaknesses and a source of conflict with the rest of the cast.  But again, for that to be satisfying something really should have come of it.  It would have been nice if the writers were willing to have any self-awareness about these flaws being flaws that a person should recognise and grow past in order to have healthy relationships with others.  But they didn’t - because it’s easier to keep her as she is - to the point that they’ll actively bend the narrative to roll back or skip over moments that would have necessitated that growth.  So, even though they call attention to her flaws, the writers end up rewarding and enabling them instead of letting her learn.

And again, this isn’t meant to hate on Sam.  Hanlon’s Razor in full effect: it’s clearly a result of authorial/editorial incompetence rather than deliberate malice.  I know this isn’t the intended interpretation.

My preferred reading of Sam Manson is that she’s a Rosa Hubermann/ Hermione Granger/ YJS1 Artemis Crock-type character.  Someone who’s passionate and forceful and maybe a bit abrasive and hard to love at a glance, but whose core nature is compassionate and sincerely kind and loyal-to-the-death for the people they value.  I wish I could 100% like her without caveats; to be able to say that even if I don’t agree with her flaws I can at least understand that they’re a valid product of the life she lives, that they make her who she is and that she’s trying her best to be a good person who will get better despite them.  

But I can’t because the writers don’t give her that.  They’re always prioritising other things over the integrity of her character.  They don’t give her background enough time and context to make her negative traits feel resonant with it (because that would take time away from the Wicked Cool Radical Ghost-Fighting Superhero Action™) and the framing and plotting doesn’t give her chances to recognise or grow past them (because that would mean character development and those negative traits are an easy source of cheap conflict).  The writers just don’t seem to care all that much about Sam - her actual character, who she is, how she came to be that way, what she wants or how her negative traits would actually play against Danny and the others.

And that sucks.  Because she has a lot of potential to be a well-rounded and great character.  I’ve seen plenty of fics that seize that potential and roll with those gaps and the result is very good.  I wish I could like her canon depiction without feeling like I have to actively ignore a bunch of latent behavioural red flags as the price of entry.

She deserved better.

[thelittlepalmtree]

Okay, now that it's been a few hours since I got caught up on euphoria I want to talk about some of the concerns I have for the show.

Now the biggest concern I have which anyone who knows me will not be surprised is that this is a show about very diverse characters primarily about young girls that is written and directed by a white man. And I just think that sometimes we should step back and ask ourselves am I the person to tell this story? Because Sam Levinson is not the person to tell the story of a young black girl dealing with severe mental health problems and Severe drug addiction. Even if you have struggled with drug addiction which I'm not sure if he has he is still not the right person to tell this story.

And that is why it is giving off such glamorizing romantic Vibes around drug abuse. It is frustrating because I am almost always against the argument of like this TV show is romanticizing this issue that it just talks about. But like I've mentioned before my brother recently passed away he was an alcoholic he was diagnosed with ADHD and bipolar like I am Gia in this story. And the way that all of this is portrayed makes you want to be in the story. Like you want to go to those parties you want to see the drama you may not want to be one of those kids but you want to live in the beautiful blue and pink world that is being portrayed in this show. The actual drug use especially is portrayed as very glamorous and beautiful sometimes being full-on music videos. And even the parts where it gets real are still incredibly glamorized with Roo being like kind of this Rebel slick character like a Captain Jack Sparrow type character. Like it's fun to watch her getting chased by the cops and it's fun to watch her sneaking out of things because you know ultimately she's going to be okay and all this suspense and cleverness that we get to see is very exciting for you as a viewer.

And then there's all of this like questions about like am I a good person? And no she isn't a good person. But within the show, everyone is a bad person there's not a single good person in the whole show. And it kind of makes it seems like well Rue is a bad person but everyone's bad so it's okay. We're like in reality like I'm a great fucking person like there are really good people in the world and those people are watching Euphoria and laughing at how crazy it is. And when you don't place any contrast to ruin the story you once again make her behavior seem more acceptable. The whole show seems to be about making this Behavior acceptable.

And began all of this seems to stem from the fact that I feel like the person who wrote the show does not understand the experiences that real-life people who live the lives of these characters have. In fact a huge joke amongst the fandom is how out of touch with reality Euphoria is. Like I have seen so many people joke about what it must be like to go to euphoria high school because that's not what real high school is like. And my high school is like known for having drug use in it like at one point there was an article in the local paper about how one kid had injected another kid with heroin in our gym and it was consensual because he was just trying to teach him how to use heroin. I mean people get in trouble for drugs in my high school all the time. And the school district I work at just recently had a stabbing. Like shit happens it's not that I'm living in like a boring vanilla life it's just that it doesn't happen the way that they are saying that it happens. The aesthetic of the show is what makes the show bad. And all of the real complex struggles that these characters are dealing with are reduced to these archetypes and tropes and very reductive ideas about gender and sexuality.

So like those are my concerns with the story but I also have a lot of specific concerns about how the show is being run. And this is just going off watching it like I haven't Googled anything but I could tell you right now I have a feeling that it's going to come out that Sam Levinson if not abused actors on the show definitely mishandled a lot of things because certain things just make me very uncomfortable in the show.

So first of all I feel like some of the child actors we're putting scenes that could be damaging to explain those Concepts to them. So like the little girl who played cat as a child is basically playing a character who was insecure about her weight at 11 and the girl who is playing her is a little bit chubby and is played up to be fat. I just don't understand how you have a little girl play that role and do those shots without imparting body problems on to her. I just don't understand how you have a little girl look at her stomach and see how big it is and be upset visibly upset even if she's acting and not take from that that being fat is damaging to you. I just don't understand how you could do that well. And I felt that way about the young boy who played Nate as well I think maybe you could get the reaction that you want by just telling the actor that he see something that freaks them out but to some extent I have to wonder how ethical it is to have those scenes in the show.

Another thing that upsets me about the way the show is shot is the way that Hunter Schafer is shot and the way that Jules is portrayed. I mean again that's another backstory we're like I just don't understand how you can have a little kid be in those shots and do the things that the character did in those shots and that not be damaging to a kid. And maybe that kid is older maybe it's like actually a teenager and they can handle it but that concerns me because of how graphic it was. But going more into Hunter Schafer so I already talked about this but in the beginning, a lot of our shots of Jules had Jules's penis in the middle of the shot. There were several shots right when we first meet the character of jewels in underwear and her penis is like in the middle of the screen. And this happened frequently when Jules was portrayed in underwear. I noticed it less as the episodes went on but that's still concerning. Another thing I don't like is that in season 2 a lot of Jules's makeup seemed to Highlights the more angular and masculine features of her face. Maybe that's just my point of view but I definitely felt like in season 1 Jewels was very soft and feminine looking and in season 2 Jules was portrayed much more masculine. And this is even confirmed when Elliot says that Jules is wearing a binder. And there's no indication in the scene that Jules is no longer identifying as a trans woman and is now identifying as non-binary. But it does kind of feel like Jewels decided to date a woman and then immediately had to take on more masculine qualities. And that just doesn't really seem right to me. And I also have to wonder if Hunter Schafer was considered you know how that would affect her. She is non-binary so maybe she doesn't care but I just think that it doesn't necessarily seem like the best take. And most notably she also gets very low billing like when they List the cast of the first one should be Zendaya which I think she is the first one and then it should be Hunter Schafer right but no Hunter Schafer is like way down the list.

I also want to point out that the actress who plays Cat on Barbie Ferreira is not plus size she is a size 12 according to a quick Google so feel free to correct me plus size is 14 and up. She identifies as a plus-size model but that probably just means that she models for plus-size clothing and most of the people who model for plus-size clothing are not actually plus size. So that sucks if you are going to have a character's entire existence revolves around the fact that they are fat maybe they should at least be a size 14. Especially if her whole character's storyline is that she hates herself because she's fat which seems to be her entire season 2 storyline.

I think the thing that is so disturbing about Euphoria is the fact that it very much portrays teenage girls as just so desperate and needy for love when of course some girls have that struggle but that's not the majority by far. Like as a former teenage girl you are not always thinking about that stuff. And every single character who acts badly traces it back to their father as their fathers are like these incredibly important parts of a teenage girl's life. And yes it is important to have a father in your life but like I know one person who acted like this when they were a teenager and she still acts like that but every other person I knew as a teenager would have issues would have conflicts but it wouldn't be like this the drama craziness would not be like this is.

The thing that makes this show watchable is the aesthetic and unfortunately, that's the worst part. I mean I pretty much hate it top to bottom no. I could go into every storyline I could go into every character and explain how bad the writing is for each of them but I think I kind of made my point here. I just want to again remind everyone that the person who has the earliest credits on the show is Sam Levinson a white dude. And I don't know much about him but I can tell you a lot about what kind of a person he is based on this fucking show. The actors are very good and they do bring a lot of life to these characters but in many ways, that uphold a show that should never have been made. It's a beautifully made show it's very high production value but the show itself the core is rotten.

[thegeminisage]

my secret galaxy brain reading of spn s11 is better than yours

or: why season 11 is good actually. this is a long-ass meta, so it's going behind the cut

some disclaimers before we get going

absolutely all of this is accidental. nobody does this shit on purpose. this is ~my interpretation~ or whatever. i'm not actually trying to argue the writers meant to do this lol. what i'm saying is that this is the way to make season 11 make sense in your brain because it makes sense in mine and it's one of my FAVORITES. it could be one of your favorites too if you stop limiting yourself

there is heavy discussion of sexual violence in this meta so read safely etc also spoilers for all of s11 obviously

unless you watched the anime, i've seen more supernatural than you have, so i'm right >:)

for the uninitiated, the basic plot of season 11 is that eons and eons ago, before there was heaven or hell or earth or humans or angels, there was only god (chuck) and the darkness (amara). amara kept destroying what god made, so he and the archangels locked her away in a cage, which removing the mark of cain from dean's arm opened. amara escaped and dean was the first thing she saw, so she spends the season using some kind of thrall over him to make him feel drawn to her and unable to hurt her, and also looking for chuck so she can give him a little payback.

ALRIGHT HERE WE GO

season 11 & sexual violence

you don't need to look very far to find examples of sexualized violence and outright sexual violence on supernatural, but s11 is lousy with it. just to name a few examples:

amara's "thrall" on dean, which we will absolutely get into more later

crowley's jokes about altar boys and the tastes of catholic priests

ALLLLL the pedophile jokes made when crowley was raising baby amara

angels torturing cas and threatening to cut his genitals off, only to send in hannah (an angel who formerly had unrequited romantic/sexual feelings for him) to play good cop(/honeypot??) in hopes of making him talk

the return of lucifer, who possessed sam (spn has a history of equating possession and sexual violence) and is heavily implied to have raped sam in hell, and the MULTIPLE times he menaces sam throughout this season, including forcibly touching his soul

lucifer possessing castiel and using him to enact violence on the winchesters, his loved ones

i absolutely REFUSE to acknowledge the lucifer/crowley stuff but if you know you know

the episode with the kissing curse, using "love" as a means to deliver death

dean's possession in the soul eater episode

the "chitters" monsters involving mating, orgies, and forcible impregnation

you get the idea

i could write a whole essay on almost all of these but for this post we'll be sticking mostly to dean & amara

@marcusantonius pointed out while we were watching season 11 that what amara does to dean is basically speedrun his two major attachments - sam and castiel. she starts out as a baby, someone in need of protection, and quickly grows into an adult who attempts to romance/seduce him. the feelings dean has around amara aren't feelings FOR HER, they're feelings he has for SAM AND CAS that are being TRANSFERRED onto her through means of her power. (this is important for later.)

what amara does to dean is sexualized violence bordering on outright sexual assault. compelling him to feel drawn towards her and to protect her, frequently getting in his personal space and touching his face, and even kissing more than once when he is quite literally unable to resist (it's stated many times that he is unable to kill or even harm her, so he is completely helpless in the presence of someone who makes no secret of her intentions for him, sexual or otherwise). 

dean says many times that what he feels for amara is not love or desire or attraction. he can't put a name to it at all - not once in the entire series is he able to properly define this thrall she has over him, which leaves us the audience a little confused (amara asking "what IS happening between us?" in 11.06 as a teenager making sexual advances on a grown man does give me a good laugh, because it was written SO WEIRDLY)... BUT we know that it is definitely sexual in nature, and not at all something dean wants to be happening.

this is addressed kind of strangely in 11.13. the villain of the week is a witch moonlighting as a hairdresser, who puts a kissing curse on her clients. the curse must be passed along like a hot potato - if you kiss someone else, it's passed along to them. if they kiss someone else, it's passed along to them. but eventually, a monster called a qareen will show up in the form of "your deepest desire" and kill you, and work its way backwards to the original curse-ee. in the episode, dean kisses the vic (i'll point out this was also technically done w/o her consent, though it was a very businesslike kiss) to put the curse on himself and protect her. the qareen takes the form of amara, and she gives Dean this little speech:

Qareen!Amara: You're a mystery. I can see inside your heart. Feel the love you feel. Except it's cloaked in shame. When it comes to this, you can’t help yourself, so why fight it? Just give in.

then, at the end of the episode, after dean reveals who the qareen was for him, we get this conversation between sam and dean: 

Dean: You seriously think the sister of God is my deepest darkest desire? Sam: She isn't? Dean: No! She can’t be! Sam: Why not? Dean: Why? Because if she is that means that I'm… Sam: Means you're what? Complicit? Weak? Evil? Dean: For starters, yeah. Sam: Dean. Do you honestly think you ever had a choice in the matter? She's the sister of God, and for some reason she picked you and that sucks, but if you think I’m gonna blame you or judge you…I'm not.

the "shame" part of both of these is really what stuck out to me - the word itself isn't in the second passage, but dean's vibes are absolutely filled with shame. to me, this always read as being shame about the sexual violence and about the complicity/weakness that "allowed" that violence to happen. 

and as a reminder, sam is just a few episodes past the confrontation with his own rapist (he returns to the cage to speak with lucifer in 11.09 & 11.10, and canonically struggles with what happened there even after the confrontation ends). sam made a point earlier in this episode of making sure the victim of the curse knew it wasn't her fault her husband died, but the fault of the witch who cast the curse. sam is VERY emotionally intelligent, and i honestly believe that he was speaking as one survivor of sexual violence to another here. what he's telling dean is something victims often need to be reminded of: it's not your fault. you weren't complicit, or weak. you didn't have a choice. you don't deserve blame or judgment.

we've had bad guys make sexual threats at both dean and sam many times before this and a few more times after, but as far as i can recall, this is the only conversation in the entire series that even attempts to address the impact of that particular kind of violence on dean. it's short, and strangely written, but nonetheless: there it is.

season 11 & the dean in the closet

for the purposes of this post, i'm not going to go through the entire series and find examples to try and prove dean is bi and has feelings for cas. if you don't believe that then what are you doing here? we're skipping to the goods.

actually, i always got annoyed at people who read the fake-amara's speech in 11.13 (or any of the other times people spoke about dean's shame regarding amara) as being about dean's sexuality, because in my mind it was ABSOLUTELY about his being a victim of sexual violence, which was far more important to me, as it is discussed far less often.

BUT, knowing what we know now (that cas was always canonically in love with dean, and it's all but canon that dean really was bisexual), i'm willing to entertain another notion:

Sam: ...you're what? Complicit? Weak? Evil? Dean: For starters, yeah.

the "evil" bit never really sat right with me as part of the narrative of sexual violence, aside from touching on dean's general self-loathing, but it fits the narrative of being closeted MUCH better. dean, a self-hating homophobic bisexual, would probably use a similar word, if not something heavy as "evil," to describe the way he feels about other men. it's a malevolent feeling. (if you're like me and ascribe to the jackles headcanon that dean resorted to turning tricks to make food money when he was underage, we could also consider the extremely fucked up fact that almost every queer man dean's ever met is someone who hurt him.) 

dean is ashamed of who and what he is, and the way he feels about cas. living like that, that's violence. he lives violently day in and day out with that feeling. (and amara knows it. it's worth nothing that she uses cas to communicate with dean MULTIPLE times in this season, both by carving messages on his body and psychically, through his own connection to dean - and when dean "betrays" her to rescue casifer, she's horrified at whatever she sees in his head.)

equating sexual violence to the violence of being closeted

but what's amazing about this weird badly-written little 11.13 conversation (and indeed, the season-long plotline of dean and his shame) is that we don't HAVE to assign it to the purposes of being about sexual violence OR about being closeted. it can be and IS both. 

my favorite reading of this is that BEING IN THE CLOSET IS INHERENTLY A VIOLENT AND TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE. many of the same feelings are involved: shame, guilt, self-loathing. sam's comforting words to dean - that he will not be blamed or judged - are equally applicable in both cases. dean is a victim of sexual violence, and he is also in the closet, and both of these experiences are traumatic ones, and they are intermingled with each other in a big way (again, if you're into dean-turned-tricks headcanon, they are intermingled INSEPERABLY - the sexual violence being one of the direct causes of dean not wanting to accept or address his own sexuality).

the bait-and-switch

the real galaxy brain moment of this whole thing begins at the end of 11.22 (an otherwise lackluster episode that played sam's lucifer trauma for laughs how dare they ugh god whatever that's off-topic but i HATE IT) when amara and chuck finally have the confrontation she's been fighting all season for. she is attacked by witches, demons, angels, and then stabbed by lucifer himself, before she's finally on her knees before chuck, and then we get this little exchange:

Chuck: I'm sorry. For this, for everything. Amara: An apology at last. What's sorry to me? I spent millions of years crammed into that cage alone and afraid...

maybe you already know where i'm going with this. a cage isn't so different from a closet when we're working with metaphors, right? 

amara talks about her grievances with chuck many times throughout season 11 - that he was spoiled, that he created the earth to stroke his ego, that he couldn't handle her as she was. and once he finally makes his appearance he tells it his own way - that he had no choice but to lock amara away, that she couldn't stand the things and people he made, that he did it to protect people. but something about THIS conversation in particular - even though it's not written into the dialogue - gives me a particular kind of vibe. 

there is something innately, unspeakably WRONG with amara. i don't mean unspeakable as in very bad, i mean unspeakable as in LITERALLY undefinable. it's just like dean being unable to put a name to the pull she has over him. no one talks directly at it or about it, they go in circles around it, but facts are facts: amara simply couldn't be allowed to exist as she was because there was just something innately wrong with her. and it's this conversation in particular, the first one they have together onscreen, that really slams that feeling home for me.

the entire time chuck and amara are talking, the camera repeatedly cuts to dean - he is so visibly upset that the first time i watched this, i was certain he was about to jump into the middle of things and put himself between the two of them. we're meant to believe that dean has trouble hearing this because he "cares" about amara, but i have a different take.

i think it's empathy. real, actual empathy - not the kind of feeling that amara had to force out.

stay with me here. eventually, after chuck tries to lock amara away again, she gets her second wind, attacks him, and leaves him for dead - and as he dies, the sun dies with him, and so too does all life on earth. 

in the following episode, the finale, amara finds her way to a park, where she takes in god's creation, visibly upset as she realizes that his flowers die at her touch (again, hammering home the point that there is something innately wrong with her that means she cannot live in this world), and eventually speaks with an old lady feeding the birds. 

Woman: Do you want to feed them? Amara: I shouldn't. Woman: I've been feeding these birds going on 20 years now. They're practically family. And I know that makes me sound like a crazy old bat, but...heck. My husband died a couple of years ago, and my son keeps slipping me these brochures for retirement communities - a.k.a. where they send old folks to die, but not to make a fuss about it. Amara: So you hate him. Woman: Well, a little bit. Sometimes. But you know family. Even when you hate them, you still love them.

this speech brings tears to amara's eyes. what's more, she spends this entire section with her hands in her lap. after a season of killing her way through humanity to get god's attention, she is afraid to touch these birds for fear of killing them. she feels empathy for them. she and dean are connected, after all - so as soon as he began to feel true, genuine empathy - so did she.

when dean shows up to kill amara (via a bomb made out of souls hidden in his chest), she immediately clocks his plan. she practically dares him to do it, and - he can't. he is, as always, helpless against her. 

what dean does instead is talk to her. more importantly, he listens to her. when she says her brother sent dean here to execute her, he tells her chuck actually didn't want this - that it was actually his very last resort. he asks her if this, the death of everything, is what she wanted, and she tells him all she really wanted was payback. again, dean EMPATHIZES:

Dean: Yeah, that's revenge. It'll get you out of bed in the morning, and when you get it, it feels great... for about five minutes. I've been there. Me and Sam, we have had our fair share of fights—more than our share. But no matter how bad it got, we always made it right because we're family. I need him. He needs me. And when everything goes to crap, that's all you've got—family. Now you might be a—an all-powerful being...but I think you're human where it counts. You simply need your brother. 

what's really neat about this section, and the scene before it where amara confronts her brother, is that they mark the first times dean felt any sort of genuine emotion for amara at all - one that she didn't force out of him or one that he felt for someone else that she just took for herself. dean genuinely EMPATHIZES with her - after everything she's done to him and his loved ones, and to the people on earth, dean sees the humanity in her. that's kind of his and sam's M.O., loving monsters into men - the number of non-human adversaries who eventually became allies because of the winchesters’ empathy or liking for them or even just their influence is staggering. cas, gabriel, meg, benny, crowley, rowena, metatron, to name a few off the top of my head - and now amara. 

and then we get THIS:

Dean: You don't want to be alone. Not really. I mean, hell. Maybe that's why you wanted me. But deep down, you didn't really want me... 'cause I'm not him.

(emphasis mine)

and here's my galaxy brain take: dean empathizes with amara - TRULY empathizes with her - because they're both queer (or queer-coded). 

I KNOW THIS SOUNDS NUTS BUT LISTEN. this weird creepy stalkery hetero "romance" was fake on both sides all along. dean and amara are the same. that unspeakable and innate wrongness lives in both of them. they're self-loathing and furious at god for his failures and callousness, outcasts in a world that isn't for them, a world that has HURT them simply on account of them being what they are. the violence done to amara was done to her BECAUSE of this unspeakable wrongness about her - her queerness, or her queer-codedness - and we already decided this was, for the purposes of this season, functionally the same violating and traumatic experience as sexual violence.

amara's been using dean to try and replace chuck this entire season. it's some weird comphet bullshit tied in with the fact that dean was the first part of chuck's creation she ever saw. it stands to reason then that she was trying to force dean to be with her and love her the way she wanted to force CHUCK to be with her. that's part of why she started life as a baby - as someone he'd protect as he did his own sibling. 

so in some weird, warped, very roundabout way, amara was enacting on dean the violence that chuck enacted on her - making him feel the same shame and weakness that chuck made HER feel when he locked her away eons ago. if amara unknowingly replaced chuck with dean, then she also unknowingly took part of her revenge on him. the only way she knew how to love someone was to force them to do it, because the only ways she had ever been loved until now involved violence - until dean and his moment of genuine empathy.

consider this final speech:

Dean: Maybe I can kill you. Or maybe I can't. Maybe if I pull this trigger, we all live happily ever after, or maybe we die bloody, or maybe it doesn't matter, because maybe there's a different way. So I'm gonna ask you again. Put aside the rage. Put aside the hate. And you tell me...what do you want?

dean is the only person in BILLIONS of years to ask her this! one queer to another! and it turns out that and all she wanted - the ONLY thing she needed - was to be understood and accepted by her family. immediately after this, amara summons chuck to their park, and the two of them talk it out in what is genuinely a very moving scene. amara - perhaps because of her connection with dean, perhaps because she's finally admitted to herself that she does still love her brother - sees the beauty in the world now, and feels love for it, and she doesn't want to destroy it anymore. 

and at the end, after she's made her peace with god, and the sun has been turned back on, amara says:

Amara: Dean, you gave me what I needed most. I want to do the same for you.

and what do we get at the end of this episode? mary winchester, risen from her grave. dean's family. and - SPOILERS FOR SEASON 12 - though at first mary rejects dean (and sam) as being the same children she remembers from 1983, after a long and rocky road, at the end of the season, they eventually come to a reconciliation where she sees them for who they truly are. it's never ABOUT being queer because this show uses the fucking hays code when it comes to dean's sexuality, but it's still about being queer!! 

dean gave amara what she needed - acceptance from her family - and she gave him that back in turn. all it took, the entire time, was one SHRED of empathy from one queer to another. all dean had to do was recognize her - REALLY recognize her - not as a replacement for sam or cas but as who she really was. and he saw himself in her, and the empathy that followed was genuine because it was the most natural thing in the world. in the end neither dean nor amara needed the "romance" they thought they did/were forced to want. they never did. they only needed acceptance and understanding.

supernatural is always about family and the power of love, and this season is no exception.

other great parts of season 11

if you're still not convinced, season 11 is full of other things that make it amazing:

GOD'S RETURN. after SIX YEARS he's back, this is canon, we finally get to hear what he has to say. they did more with him in a handful of episodes in this season than all of season 15

also, something else returns after six years. i'll give you a hint: it glows hot in god's presence. it was last seen being dropped into a motel trash can.

and of course the big one: lucifer and sam. what great callbacks to seasons 4-6 when lucifer and what he did to sam in hell was actually scary and mattered a lot! lucifer returns to being scary in this and i can't get enough of it.

this is also inseparable from sam's arc involving his faith - he begins praying again, having visions again, and is GUTTED when those prayers and visions lead him back to the place of his worst trauma. he gets to MEET GOD this season. it's fucking insane

the inherent melodrama of castiel, someone loved and trusted by the winchesters, being possessed by someone who they hate and who has hurt them. you get all of the sam drama with him accidentally trusting lucifer with his soul and his brother's life, and all the dean drama where he watches the devil run around in his boyfriend. also, misha collins does an uncanny impression of mark pellegrino. it's actually really creepy

somehow, they managed to make metatron, a deeply hated villain by all, ACTUALLY LIKEABLE. for TWO whole episodes. it was NUTS

this season starts off rowena's long arc with lucifer and her lucifer trauma that eventually becomes the catalyst of her bonding so profoundly with sam <3 best friends forever <333

sam and dean bond with a pair of canonically gay hunters who DON'T DIE

billie is introduced in this season and she's super hot and cool and awesome

eileen is also introduced in this season. her arc mirrors sam's so well, it's SO good. i never though i'd care about sam and a girl who wasn't jess, but i care about them SO MUCH it makes me insane. if you don't love eileen you're wrong!

anyway, watch season 11. it's weird but it's really fucking good. THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK

[spn masterpost]

[valleydean]

TW: will talk about S*exual A*ssault and I*ncest

I’m nervous too now about the Prequel bc of the w*ncest Robbie tweets.

Like in reality I feel like they are told to pander to that side of the fandom, bc let’s face it they’ve been around the longest. And for some reason that side only thinks in terms of it’s just fiction! Not realizing that every 9 minutes CPS receives evidence or claims of a child being SA, 34% of those are done by a family member(RAINN source). but sure it’s just fiction w no real world ramifications. 🙄

But honestly I wish someone higher up, either network level or creation entertainment level, Kripke, etc would just come out and say look we are no longer going to indulge into the glorification of I*ncest. There are real life victims that may turn to our show for comfort and it would be dangerous to make light of that abuse. These topics are no longer welcomed here.

I mean they put a stop to destiel talk for a while, why can’t they be just as harsh on the w*ncest talk. I just think it’s pass time we take the trash out.

yeah, i completely agree. just because that side of the fandom has been here longer doesn't mean they're the only fans anymore and it doesn't mean they're the biggest sect of the audience! and yeah, i mean, the fact that a normal gay ship has historically been treated with derision and kept all hush-hush, but then something like this, which has real trauma survivors and people going through it right now, is treated like "let's feed this flame for views/likes/viewership/money." like, none of these things i'm saying are new! it still just blows my mind though. and i really, really, really would hope that something like that wouldn't be carried out into the future with the way the landscape of society has changed since spn started in 2005 (re: the gay stuff, not the incest stuff because idk if that's been something that's been "deemed acceptable" since the 1800s.) but also, thanks to game of thrones, incest stories are "trendy," which is crazy. BUT!!!!!!! the fact of the matter is, this isn't a dark trope being explored within media like jamie and cersi of game of thrones, for example. it's fanon. it's not part of the narrative!! so it's not something that should be encouraged inside the scope of the official business model!

idk what i'm saying anymore. but yeah, i have agreed with you since i started watching this show in 2008, and i have agreed with you through every con and every attempts to gaslight by the creators of the show throughout the years. and i agree with you morally. i think now that the flagship show is over and we're moving onto new content, this would be a great time to kinda reset the tone. and look - like, i don't get it and i'm not trying to, but if people still wanna ship sam and dean and all that... i'm not a cop. i'm not gonna say you can't do that, if that's what you personally enjoy for whatever reason. but i don't think the catering to it and the power imbalanced its created that effects the decisions made at cons, in the show itself, in marketing, etc. is something that really needs to be put to the side in the year of our lord 2022 and beyond, because it's just........ not it, fam. even if the fans of that side of the fandom start bitching and moaning about not being catered to anymore or about seeing a ship that isn't that - because when they're mad, everyone's gotta know about it. but like, too bad. because with this younger show, you have the opportunity to bring in a new audience, and that is not necessarily a bad thing for the politics of this show.

[avyssoseleison]

Hi! Please could you write a short hurt/comfort for destiel? I'm in an angsty mood and I'm not sure why

Woops, I hope you consider 2.2k ‘short’. And I hope you’ll feel better soon! ♥

“You feeling any better, Cas?” Dean asked into the dimness of the room, only illuminated by the hall lights behind him. From his vantage point, he could only vaguely make out the shape of Castiel on top of his comforter, spread out like a starfish and eerily still. The weird position probably would have made Dean laugh any other day, but he didn’t feel like laughing in that moment -- the images of the last hunt were still burned too freshly in his mind. Of himself being struck down by one of the harpies and almost torn from limb to limb, had Castiel not arrived in the nick of time, deftly striking them down with the wrath of God, and looking so fucking lost and shell-shocked right after.

Though, ‘wrath of God’ was probably the wrong phrasing, seeing as Castiel had completely lost his grace not so long ago, and was just as human, even if a bit more awkward, as the rest of them. 

Dean guessed that was also the reason for his dramatic position, and his withdrawal from all of them once they had finished the hunt. Down in the dirt with them all, it must have sucked to have had such close calls, whereas before, he could have smote them with so much as a glance.

“Go away, Dean,” Castiel said, and his deadpan delivery actually made Dean laugh.

“Alright, princess, but only if you tell me what’s wrong.”

Dean could see Castiel turning his face towards him, the light from the hallway briefly catching in his eyes. 

“Because you always tell me what’s wrong whenever you are suffering.”

“Alright, alright, alright,” Dean grumbled, feeling himself flush for some inexplicable reason. “Have it your way. I actually just came here to ask you if you wanted to come for dinner, but I’m guessing that Mr. Mopey Pants probably wants to eat about as much as he wants to talk.”

“That’s correct, Dean,” Castiel confirmed.

“Jesus,” Dean sighed to himself, regretting all of his life choices (as usually). Instead of doing the sensible thing and just walking away to let Castiel sulk by himself, he stepped into Castiel’s room and shut the door behind himself, extinguishing almost all of the outside light. Without bothering to turn on the ceiling light in return, he drew closer to the bed, stumbling in the darkness. Although he could not see with his eyes unadjusted to the lack of light, he knew the layout of the room well enough not to bump into anything -- besides, all he had to do was follow the always palpable existence of another human being in the room. Without so much as hitting his foot, his knees sank into the soft give of the mattress.

He wanted to sit down at the edge of the bed and have a calm and collected conversation with his best friend, as any normal person would do. What he wound up doing instead was not to stop there, for whatever reason: once his knees hit the bed, he suddenly found himself climbing on top of it, and since Castiel was all spread out on it, there was nowhere for Dean to go but on top of him. Not on top-on top of him, of course -- he did not press his body up against his, like some sexual fiend. No, all he did was try to lie down next to Castiel, and lied down on his arm and part of his thigh instead, though he tried to minimize the contact. However, he was apparently the only one interested in doing so because, despite their awkward positioning, Castiel made no move to withdraw from him and instead stayed rooted where he was, all spread out. 

As Dean adjusted his body, he thought he heard Castiel’s breath catch in the darkness, just so. For his own sanity, he decided to discard it.

“Cas, listen,” Dean began, “I know I’m not exactly the poster child for talking out your issues, but, uhm, I’m trying to do better. And encourage myself and other people to say when they got a problem. Be more open and all that. It’s a bit weird at first, I get it, but it does help.” That flush again, heating his skin. “Me, at least. It makes me feel better. Less alone, I guess. Less responsible for,” he made a throwaway gesture that could only be heard in the room, not seen, “everything, I guess.”

Castiel remained silent for a while, probaby mulling over Dean’s words. Then, he made a quiet sound of assent. “You do,” he agreed evenly, “feel responsible for everything.”

Dean could not help but groan. “Yeah, thanks, man. That wasn’t my point, though.”

“Yes,” Castiel said easily, “your point was that I should talk about whatever bothers me.”

Dean felt like rolling his eyes again. “If you got it, spare me your jokes.”

“Oh,” Castiel said, his arm twitching under Dean’s weight. He sounded surprised that Dean had gotten that his flat assessment had been an attempt at a joke and maybe a deflection -- as if Dean hadn’t known him long enough to be able to recognize his weird sense of humor that others often misunderstood as him being socially awkward.

“Yeah,” Dean huffed out, but there was no heat behind it. Just feeling Castiel’s arm and thigh under him was enough to keep him calm and somewhat endeared to the former angel, strangely enough. Maybe he needed to go out more.

“But,” Castiel began, pausing for yet another moment before commencing again, “but what if whatever bothers me is lying on top of me and trying to get me to talk about what bothers me?”

It took Dean a minute before he got what Castiel was driving at with his weird wording, and then he felt his body stiffening up. “You calling me a bother?” 

Right, he hadn’t come there to hear that kind of crap. If Cas wanted to be alone, then so be it.

Just as inelegantly as he had climbed onto the bed, he attempted to roll off of it. But before he could quite get up and leave the moody angel behind, there were hands grappling at his shoulder and hips, pulling him right back.

Dean grunted as he fell back against Castiel, who only tightened his grip to keep Dean in a weird kind of embrace. 

Suddenly finding himself winded, Dean could do nothing but stay where he was, Castiel’s arms around his chest and his face burrowed in his neck.

Cas smells so good, Dean thought in a moment of stupidity, incapable of not enjoying their unexpected proximity, Castiel’s hands and breath on his body. He wished they could stay like that forever, close and under cover of darkness, nothing but the two of them.

“Dean,” Castiel sighed, the warmth of the spoken name not just in Dean’s heart but also on his skin. “Do you have any idea what it felt like to see you like that?”

Dean, dumbly drunk as he was on Castiel, was far from understanding whatever Castiel was hinting at. “Wha--?”

“See you almost ripped asunder from those harpies, crying out and yelling my name--,” Castiel faltered, swallowing. 

Dean didn’t even remember calling out for Castiel specifically. He thought all he had done was scream and curse and hoping for either Cas or Sam to come and help him.

“And had they succeeded, there would have been nothing I could’ve done for you. I could not have healed you, put your body back together the way it belongs. The way it is right now.” 

With any other guy and under any other circumstances, the way one of Castiel’s hands suddenly roamed his body while the other held Dean tightly against his own body probably would have felt like someone trying to cop a feel against Dean’s will. Especially since Castiel did not exactly hold back, but panted as though holding back a sob while he touched any part of Dean’s body he could reach. As it was, Dean knew it wasn’t Cas’ intention to molest him or make him uncomfortable: it was self-reassurance, pure and simple. Something Dean understood instinctively, had needed more than enough times himself. Which was why he didn’t shy away or tell Castiel to stop. No, instead, he relaxed himself into his hold, and nuzzled back against his head.

“This what all of this is about, Cas?” Dean asked in a hoarse whisper. “You feel bad about not being able to mojo it all better anymore?” He could have probably been more precise in his words by asking if he felt bad about not being an angel anymore, but as much would have been understood; he did not mean to hurt Castiel any more than he already was hurting.

“I feel bad about seeing you like that,” Castiel deflected. Then, “I was scared when seeing you like that. Scared of losing you. And of being helpless to prevent it.”

There was a sudden lump in Dean’s throat. “You didn’t lose me, though. And you did prevent it.”

“Had I arrived even one moment later, Dean,” Castiel objected, pain thickening his voice, “then you would’ve lost an arm or two, or even your life. And I could not have healed you, restored your body. You might’ve died, Dean, and there would’ve been nothing I--”

That was about as far as he got because with a press of his lips, Dean cut him right off. Despite the shocked little noise that Castiel let out, he kissed back right away, his hand returning to angle Dean’s head to kiss him deeper, taste him wholly. 

It was Dean’s turn to be surprised when he felt Castiel’s tongue and lips immediately claim him that way, without any hesitation.

By the time they broke apart, both panting and staring at each other in the dimness, Dean had ended up with his back on the bed, Castiel hovering over him. 

“Don’t--,” Dean pressed out through heavy breaths, “don’t be a child, Cas. You didn’t come late -- in fact, you came at the exact right time to fucking save me. And you saved me with what you can do now, as a human, not as an angel. Without you, things might’ve gone downhill. Or they might’ve not. Who knows, maybe Sammy would’ve saved me.”

He could practically feel the frown above him.

“What I’m trying to say is: on a hunt, anything can happen. Might go good, and yeah, might go bad. It’s what we’re used to -- known all our lives. All we can do is give our best and hope it all pans out. And work with what we got. Same as you. Yeah, you can’t magically mojo all my injuries away, but you can kill any bitch with a blade like it’s nobody’s business. You’re quick and precise, and a damn asset to our hunts, if you ask me. And that’s what you should be focusing on. Thinking about the shoulda woulda coulda doesn’t help in any way -- think of what’s right in front of you, not what’s in the past or in the future. Ain’t nothing we can do anything about anyway. Well, not much, at least.”

Dean was proud of his little joke by the end there, but Castiel did not laugh. Did not even chuckle, that bastard. Instead, he made a contemplative noise as he listened and thought Dean’s words over again. 

“What’s right in front of me, huh?” Castiel reiterated thoughtfully, one of his thumbs tracing the line of Dean’s jaw and his lips.

Dean squeezed his eyes shut and fought against the urge to kiss that teasing finger. “Not exactly what I meant, but yeah.”

“To me, that’s exactly what you meant,” Castiel said, with unprecedented lightness. “To not dwell on how badly you could’ve been hurt and how you screamed my name, but on how whole you are right now, how alive, thanks to me, and how much pleasure you could still receive.”

Dean was glad that Castiel could not possibly see how flaming his cheeks must have been. “That an offer, Cas?” His voice came out much lower than he had been going for, which however seemed well enough.“‘Cause lemme tell you, if it is, I wouldn’t mind showing my savior how thankful I am. How fucking alive.”

“It could be,” Castiel replied, his voice dipping in kind.

Which was an unexpected turn of events, if Dean had ever experienced one, and he had actually experienced many. But, true to his own words, he should focus on what was in front of him. What had, in fact, been in front of him for a whole damn while now, he had just been too chickenshit to reach out for it. 

Not anymore, though. Instead of drawing back and laughing it all off, diminishing the heat and warmth he felt for the weirdo on top of him, he laid a hand on Castiel’s cheek, let out a sigh, and pulled him back into another kiss.

[verobatto]

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. XCVI

It was a love story from the very beginning.

The Destiel Reunion and the Cowboys Date

(13x06)

Hello my dears! We are finally here, in TOMBSTONE fanfiction 🤣

And of course, a whole unique volume for this delicious episode.

Dean is happy now

The reunion between Cas and Dean was really very beautiful. First of all we have Dean incredulous face, he can't believe what his eyes are seeing, he can't believe Cas is alive and in front of him.

DEAN: Cas, is that really you?

SAM: No. You're – you're dead.

CASTIEL: Yeah, I was. But then I… annoyed an ancient cosmic being so much that he sent me back.

Dean is hopes, Sam reality in this dialogue. Every inch of Dean wished Cas to come back. Now that he has him there, his eyes can't believe, but he really wants. And Sam brings back the fact that Cas was definitely dead.

SAM: I don't even know what to say.

DEAN: I do. Welcome home, pal.

(Gif set credit @gabrielokun )

This hug is beautiful, Sam is still surprised, but Dean react with a hug, he missed his angel so much, he is the one "running towards him" at first. The emotion in his eyes, and the relieved and happiness to have him back. The love of his life is back, after so much suffering.

CASTIEL: How long was I gone?

DEAN: Too damn long.

(Gif set credit @shirtlesssammy )

And here we have the difference between Family Love and Romantic Love:

When Mary Winchester comes back in 12x01, she makes the same question Castiel did. But Dean's answer is different. He can calculate the exacting days and years his mother had been dead. But with Cas is different, Cas represents the love of his life, his hopes, he was suicidale after he was gone, so... That time Cas wasn't there with him, it felt like eternal. That's why he didn't calculated, Because it was TOO DAMN LONG.

And he says it with the painful remembrance in his eyes, red because he wasn't sleeping well, and because he maybe had crying so many times.

After this angsty scene, we have a huge change in Dean. He is happy now, so happy, that he can't hide it. He is shinning again. Smiling. Hopeful. And in addition, he has a cowboy adventure, even when the data they have from Dodge City isn't that clear, he drags the whole team to it.

And just like in season 5, he rewrites TFW now 2.0, describing each member enthusiastically.

DEAN: Yeah, but we should probably check it out.

CASTIEL: Wait. Really?

DEAN: Yeah, we've done more on less. Besides Dodge City's kind of, uh, kind of awesome. All right, well… two salty hunters, one half-angel kid, and a dude who just came back from the dead. Again. Team Free Will 2.0. Here we go.

Before continuing with this happy Dean, let's check a mystery, that had been solved in season 15. Why Jack had power on the Empty or how is that Cas woke up. Of course it was Jack's power over the Empty, because he will be new god, but also, it was the Profound Bond, the deep love these men feels for each other the path Jack used to find Castiel. Is so freaking romantic I just can't...

Okay, coming back now with happy Dean...

And how Sam was trying to make him confess... Something else. Noticing the change in his brother, knowing what was the cause of it, it was so blatant, that the smart little brother confirms here Dean's true feelings for the angel...

SAM: Still can't believe you brought your own hat.

DEAN: Well, I can't believe you didn't.

SAM: You're in a good mood, huh?

DEAN: Yeah. And?

Sam was waiting some time alone to ask this to him. Imagine you saw your brother in so bad shape a day ago, suicidal, not having faith or hopes in life... An now, he's happy, shining. Smiling. Laughing. What could happen? Of course, CAS is back... But is Dean ready to confess what he feels for him to his brother? Or even, to recognize his own feelings for the angel?

(Gif set credit @deansplushy )

Dean recognize Castiel is not just the win he needed, but the BIG WIN he wanted in his heart. And he stops there. He can't say more, but is not necessary to say it. Sam is an insightful person, and he gets it. He understands and confirms Dean loves Castiel in that special way. But he is not ready to "come out from the closet" . And the scene that comes after this one, is Sammy, smiling crookedly and tilting his head, Because he knows the message behind those words. He turns back and closes a closet. Pure Symbolism.

Cowboys Adventures

Let's jump now to the "angry bear" scene.

What it means? Simply and perfectly, that scene means CASTIEL WATCHING DEAN SLEEPING OR EVEN TRYING TO WAKE HIM UP. Both of it reveals CASTIEL IN DEAN'S ROOM. INTIMACY. First hint of scene we've never seen. But indirectly pointing at a canon fact. And we love it.

Also, bossy, grumpy Dean that needs his coffee to function. And Castiel just submissively obeying his angry bear and sitting back in the coach... Damm these two... Their dynamic had always been like that, but we didn't have enough of it. We didn't have enough of domestic destiel.

Then, once in the car, Castiel is wearing a cowboy hat. So, it means they had to go to buy it somewhere. Just Imagine Dean looking for a cowboy hat to fit in Cas' head.

He fixes his boyfriend, because he wants him to look even more good.

DEAN: All right, listen, these Dodge City cops aren't likely to trust big city folks, so we're gonna have to blend.

CASTIEL: Which is why you're making me wear this absurd hat.

DEAN: It's not that bad. Well, actually, yeah, it kind of is. Hang on. [Dean reaches over and removes the hat band and tosses it in the back seat] All right. That's better.

CASTIEL: Is it?

(Gif credit @grumpycas )

This scene shows us again their intimacy and how Castiel just accepts to be part of his fantasies. He is willing to play Dean's cowboys game. Because he loves him. And this means to share a good time with him. But, CAS worries about how he looks. And he peeks into the rear viewer mirror, and if you look at Dean's facial expressions, I think he's having a heart attack for Cas' proximity. Hahahahss. Oh, Dean you're so in love in this date.

DEAN: [sighs] Yeah. Look, just act like you're from Tombstone, okay?

CASTIEL: The city?

DEAN: The movie. With Kurt Russell? I made you watch it.

CASTIEL: Yeah, yeah. Yeah. The one with the guns and tuberculosis. [in a deep cowboy voice] "I'm your Huckleberry."

DEAN: Yeah, exactly. Well, it's good to have you back, Cas. All right, follow my lead. We'll fit right in.

Gif credit @agusvedder

Okay i really think here is when Dean had a heart attack, an stroke and a bonner, at the same time, I will elaborate hahahaha

Another hint of their INTIMACY, is the fact that they watch movies together! Not just that, but Dean made CAS watch Tombstone, and who know how many other movies! (More domestic Destiel)

And then... Cas goes for it, because he knows how Dean loves cowboys, and because he is a sexy, hot, angel that knows how to seduce him, not just with eye fucking... But... Using the link over Dean.

And it works... Because the hunter closes his eyes, swallows and tries not to faint right there of arousal. And then, shamelessly, he just says IT'S GOOD TO HAVE YOU BACK, CAS.

And then, is so funny to watch Cas trying to follow Dean's lead. Oh gosh... Hilarious. Rom com.

Symbolism of the rest of the episode

Dean's bisexuality

Dave and Athena were a representation of Dean's bisexuality, just as in the Rocky's bar in 14x10.

In this episode we have Toxic!Dean mirrored by the monster, Dave and Innocent/Healing!Dean mirrored by Athena.

The dynamics between them was similar to te dynamics in the Rocky's bar, in which Dean's toxicity and AU!Michael, the monster, tried to keep Dean locked inside his emotional toxic prison.

DAVE: Athena, don't you think we have a good thing here? Why do you wanna go mess it up?

ATHENA: Whatever. I have to work.

Athena wanted to improve his life, to go to school and move to a bigger city. To be better. She had dreams. Innocent, is the best part of Dean.

Another important fact is Dave wearing another's man face, a very known bandit, adding to one of the topics of this season: masks, fake identity, as a foreshadow of Dean's possession.

So Dave is Toxic!Dean, his own monsters, trying to keep him in the darkness.

The visual narrative adds to this symbolism the red ascot I'm both characters, Dave and Athena, to point out again at Dean.

Jack and Dean

We will have Jack killing an innocent man because he couldn't control his powers. As a foreshadow of when he will kill Mary not controlling his powers again.

Jack carries with a green backpack, green is Dean's color, and the backpacks means guilts.

Here is when Jack starts feeling guilt for killing a man. TFW will connect with him trying to explain that's part of the job.

All the dead people and killing the monster

When Dave comes back with Athena, she discovers he is a monster, and rejects him. Because he killed someone. This is very symbolic because in Dean's head, he sees himself as a monster, a murderer, and he hates that part of him.

So, at the end of the episode, Dean says alone, helps the sheriff, the righteous man, saves him and saves the girl, his innocence, killing the monster, his toxicity.

This episode showed us the future inner battle Dean will have to win. And it will be successful.

To Conclude:

This was a very Destiel episode, they showed us hints of how intimate Dean and CAS are with each other. And how much Dean is in love with CAS.

The happiness after Castiel's returning alive, gives Sam almost a confirmation of Dean's true feeling for Castiel, assuming he is not ready yet to get out from the closet.

There was a foreshadow of AUMichael possessing Dean, and the inner battle of 14x10.

Dave and Athena represented Dean's bisexuality and part of his personality. Keeping in mind Athena is the greek goddess of wisdom, war strategy, is the good part of Dean and innocence.

Hope you like this meta, see you in the next one!

Tagging @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weird-dorky-little-d @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @authorsararayne @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @isthisdestiel @dizzypinwheel @jawnlockwinchester @horsez2 @qanelyytha

@destielle @spnsmile @shippsblog @robot-feels @superlock-in-the-tardis @superduckbatrebel @2musiclover2 @madronasky @anon-non2 @cea1996 @lisafu02 @asphodelesauvage @destiels-canonahhhhhhhhhh

If you want to be added or removed from this list just let me know.

If you wanna read the previous metas from this season here you have the links:

Vol. XCIII, XCIV, XCV.

Buenos Aires January 17 2021 02:31 PM

[nancylou444]

I forgot if i sent it to u or someone else so i'm sending it again anyway

Please Read this to the end and then judge me.

I do not understand at all why you and all other anti destiels dont ship destiel and think that dean is straight and i hate you for that from the bottom of my heart. i mean cant you see how dean truely loves cas and gives no shit about Sam, his brother?and also jensen and writers ship it.

You are so stupid and do not deserve to live in this world period

Read this list below.it may help you take off your anti destiel colored glasses and Accept the truth:which in fact is that Destiel Will become canon.

Reasons Why Destiel Will Definitely Become Canon Before The Show Ends 101:

1.Jensen Ackles: Destiel Doesn't Exist.

2.Jensen Ackles: Because Dean is a lover of the LADIES.

3.Dean will always choose SAM over anyone else.

4.SAM and Dean are soulmates.

5.Castiel: you chose EACHOTHER.

6.Jensen Ackles' Unscripted Frustrated look into the camera in "Fan Fiction" episode.wink wink

7.Jensen Ackles: there wasn't a whole lot of dean and cas storylines in season 9.personally,i kind of enjoyed that.

8.Jensen Ackles: i think the whole dean and cas thing has gotten a little out of proportion.

9.Jensen Ackles: "destiel is real" is it?? Where?? Where is it real??

10.Jensen Ackles: What? What castiel? Nah just me and my pies!

11.Jensen Ackles: We sit down with the writers in a couple weeks. It boils down to these two brothers, that’s the core and the heart of the show, their journey, their fight for each other.

12. “You are homophobic if you don’t ship destiel!"

13.Dean Winchester is fuckin Straight.

14.Eric Kripke : I'm just really interested in guys, STRAIGHT guys who have a tight friendship,they are really fun to write...

15.Dean Winchester: I'm Dean winchester.i enjoy sunsets,long walks on the bitch and frisky WOMEN.

16.Dean Winchester : I dont swing that way.sorry.

17.Dean winchester : yeah sorry again pal i dont play for your team.

18.Dean sold his soul for SAM.

19.Dean died so that he could meet with Death and get SAM’s soul back which of course Castiel left in hell.

20.Dean gave away the Impala and was willing to die with a Croatoan infected SAM.

21.Dean breathed in the poisonous smoke, so that he would die with SAM.

22.Dean wanted out of an AU with Mary and Jessica alive, because AU!SAM didn’t like Dean that much.

23.SAM and Dean made promise to each other, made vows to each other really, in a church.

24.SAM and Dean choose each other over the world, anything, and everything, EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

25. Dean refers to SAM as though HE is his spouse (”does he want a divorce?”, “Lucy”...)

26.Dean would rather live in a world WITH demons than live in a world WITHOUT SAM.

27.When Dean forgot everything else, including his own name, he still remembered SAM.

28.Dean : I can’t do it without my brother, I don’t want to 

29.Dean to Sam :You’re the ONLY one who could’ve talked me out of it 

30.Dean to Sam :There ain’t no me if there ain’t no YOU.

31.Dean to Sam :“Because whatever we have between us, love, family, whatever this is, they’re always going to us it against us.”

32.Dean to Sam: “You’re my weak spot SAMMY, and I’m yours”

33.Dean or Sam i dont remember: “All that matters now, all that’s ever mattered, is that we’re together.“

34. Dean to Sam :“Don’t you dare think that there is anything, past or present, that I would put in front of you!“

35.Dean to Sam : “I made you a promise in that church, you and me, come whatever!”

36.The canon friendship between Dean and Castiel is toxic and borderline-abusive, full of lies, threats, insults, abandonment, beatings, and betrayals.

37. Sam, possessed by the devil himself, took control of his own body and beat Lucifer because Dean was there, because Dean didn’t give up even though he was hurt and covered in blood, because seeing Dean bombarded Sam with the memories of their life together.

38. Dean didn’t leave SAM’s bedside , didn’t bury him, didn’t burn his body, didn’t want to say goodbye, and how later he didn’t hesitate to sell his soul.

39.Dean decided not to go into a box, because SAM asked him not to.

40.SAM and Dean were the ones whom were mistaken with gay couple by several people if that matters.

41.SAM to Dean :“you always put me first. Your whole life”,

42.Dean to SAM: “I know where I am at my best, and that is right here, driving down crazy street next to you”,

43.Sam or Dean i dont remember:“you know what brought me back? You did”.

44.Dean’s siren-as admitted by the siren herself-was a copy of SAM.

45.Dean told a male cop "you're awsome".OMG!! He is bi!!!

46.Dean fanboyed over a male tv character.Holy Chuck!! He is bi!!

47.Jensen or Jared:“At its core, it’s the story of two brothers.”

48.Jensen or Jared:“At the end of the day, this starts and stops with the brothers.”

49.Jensen or Jared:“When it comes down to it, it’s about these two brothers.”

50.Dean told Castiel to get the hell outta bunker for SAM while he knew he didnt have his angel powers.Damn! Dean truely loves Cas!

51.Dean figured Castiel was too far gone to be convinced back into their group and bound Death to do their bidding. Dean’s order to Death was to kill Castiel where he stood.#couplegoals

52.Castiel blackmailed Dean by torturing SAM.oh dear god!!! What a True Lover!!

53.Castiel Betrayed sam amd DEAN with crowley.but that's what all lovers do Right???

54.This isnt some romantic show.

55. Castiel is a genderless celestial wavelength of light wearing a male vessel.

56.Dean's chemistry with Baby the Impala is far more noticable than the one with Castiel.

57.Sam even once asked Dean and Baby the impala to get a room.

58.The possibility of Dean and Baby the impala to get sexually involved and the two of them having sex in the finale full frontal is far more than the possibility of non existant Destiel to become canon.

59.Destiel shippers are only a tiny minority of the SPN fandom.

60.Jensen Ackles is fucking done with this shit.

61.Dean left Ben and Lisa for SAM.

62.Misha Collins is the only one who queerbaits.

63.Dean in "red meat" described SAM as the man he loved.

64.Dean sang in a colorful background.OMFG!! he is bi!!

65.Jesen ackles : because being with his BROTHER and doing that is the happiest he is.

66.Dean to SAM: "because i couldnt live with you dead"

67.What show you've been watching???

68.Jared : because that would have RUINED the show to make it about something it wasnt about.

69.Dean has kissed and had sex with an angel.her name was Anna

70.Sera Gamble said “supernatural is the epic love story of SAM and dean”

71.Cw_supernatural IG: it has always been two brothers and the open road.

.

.

.

*Manic laughter*

*Aggressively drop the mic*

*The door is over there*

*Boom! Suck it*

*It sucks to be destieheller*

You are very welcome

Btw I'm a Proud anti destiew and a logical SPN fan.

If You think I'm right,then Chuck bless your logical souls and if not,let me find some fucks to give....sorry,none was found.

The begining part was an example of a savage destieheller.it wasn't me😊ignore it.

Yours truly,anon.

=============================

Holy crap, that is one longass ask. An ask I was thisclose to deleting until I skipped to the bottom. 

💖💖💖💖💖

[palaugranetes]

🔵BLAUGRANETS🔴

Ansu: All I am saying is that the fact that Gerard is capable of walking semi properly again should make you a bit nervous.

Carlitos: He still would not be able to catch me in case I ran

Ansu: You can run but you cannot hide curlitos

Ronald: I highly doubt Geri would resort to something that would require him to run.

Ansu: Another valid point.

Dembz: The way I was stressed during that entire match though.. he was right above me.

Ansu: 😂

Dembz: 😒

Iñaki: How do I talk to him.

Iñaki: I just want to apologize.

Iñaki: I know I did nothing but I am stressed.

Iñaki: And I know I should have done it before but again.. I was stressed.

Iñaki: Maybe if I send him a gift basket... with a note.. saying I'm sorry..

Sergiño: You okay there bud?

Iñaki: What have I just been saying. Clearly I am not.

Oscar: Sure, a gift basket would be nice..

Ronald: I feel if you just talk to him and tell him that you truly had nothing to do with twiddle-dee and twiddle-dum and co, he would understand.

Iñaki: You think?

Ronald: I think so

Iñaki: Not very reassuring there buddy. Just gonna send the basket.

Riqui: A whole damn monologue just for that.

JC: Cop out.

Iñaki: Oh shut it both of you.

22 DECEMBER 2020

Ansu: I would just like to say @Pedri I love you

Dembz: CLEM SCORED! SUPER!

Dembz: Am I tripping or are we playing better?!

Ansu: Pink Power

Dembz: MARTIN!!!

Ansu: I'm happy for Martin he's such a good dude. Very happy for him.

Dembz: yeah he's cool.

JC: Guys what do you think goes better with Vanilla, Strawberries or Caramel?

Ansu: Huh?

Dembz: I told you to stop the weird questions @JC what are you even doing?!

JC: HUMOR ME

Dembz: I have been humoring you all day. Stop

Ansu: What is going on?

Dembz: Jean-Clair is trying to make a gift basket.

Ansu: By himself?!

Dembz: Clearly

Ansu: Oh this can't end well

Dembz: I mean... @JC get professional help please

JC: I already have a therapist.

Dembz: I was talking about the basket but good thing that you do. Your mental health is important.

JC: Exactly, which is why having this constant Geri threat is not good for it.. Hence the gift basket.

Dembz: GET. A. PROFESSIONAL.

JC: I can do it.

Ansu: GOL DEL D1OS DEL FUTBOL!!!! @Pedri that pass was sexy af!!

Dembz: 🙌🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿

JC: King. Gonna make him a basket too.

23 DECEMBER 2020

Riqui: That did not entirely suck huh..

Ronald: Cleansheet yes!!

Riqui: 🙌🏻🙌🏻

Pedri: @Ansu 💗💜💗💜💗

Frenkie: A good way to go into the Christmas holiday!

Arnau: I mean about time.

Francisco: Leo 🥺🥰

Pedri: Completely agree with that statement.

Riqui: Happy Holidays idiots! See you in 4 days. ENJOY IT✌🏻

Carlitos: Thanks petit.

Pedri: I will be able to fully enjoy it after Leo's interview comes out.

Pedri: Or not... Please let it be good news.

Oscar: Oh shoot I almost forgot about it.

Francisco: I wish I can forget about it.

Frenkie: I don't know, from the little snippets it looks promising?

Carlitos: Seems like it..

Pedri: Won't stop me from worrying..

JC: Joyeux Noël!

Carlitos: A month till the elections!

Riqui: One stressful thing at a time please!

Frenkie: Yes for the love of D10S

Iñaki: Too many stressful things in this Club.. I would like a 3 days break please.

Riqui: Tough luck.

26 DECEMBER 2020

JC: I finished the basket!

Iñaki: What basket?

JC: Geri's 🤙🏾

Iñaki: 😒

Dembz: Injuries?

JC: None

Ansu: Lies

JC: Okay just a few cuts and glue-gun burns

Iñaki: Glue burns?

JC: Silicon

Iñaki: Right... Well I just had one made and sent it on Christmas

Oscar: Do you think Grizou sent the adults gifts?

Francisco: I mean for Leo yes for sure

Oscar: Makes sense.

Dembz: Clem, Sam ofc, Geri most likely.

Oscar: fairs

Ronald: 1 day

Riqui: Thanks for the reminder

Pedri: STRESSED

Ansu: Look.. I fully expect Leo to be here when I come back.. otherwise I'm throwing hands

Carlitos: At whom

Ansu: Idk.. we'll cross that bridge when we reach it

Carlitos: Cool it down Rocky

Ansu: 🥊🥊

27 DECEMBER 2020

Pedri: STRESSED

Frenkie: It's gonna be alright.

Francisco: How do you know?

Frenkie: I have a feeling it's gonna go smoothly.

Pedri: 😓😓😓

Francisco: I saw that he won't be talking about his next step

Pedri: 😰😰😰

Frenkie: I feel like he's just gonna address the burofax saga

Francisco: But he already did

Pedri: 😵😵😵

Frenkie: A couple of hours

Pedri: Narrating is not helping.

.........

Riqui: Here we go

Sergiño: So far so good?

Carlitos: Who made Leo cry...

Riqui: The fact that he has suffered this much

Ronald: I mean Diego and Sabella probably

Carlitos: True

Oscar: Nobita😂😂😂😂

Arnau: 😂😂😂😂😂 the way he laughed

Carlitos: No don't stop.. drag his ass.

Arnau: Jordi did not just ask him about his own funeral!!!

Pedri: STOP I AM ALREADY NERVOUS ENOUGH

Francisco: Please ...

Oscar: Jordi STOP

Ronald: The President at that time

Ronald: Ouch the Luisito part.

Ansu: sighs Luis deserved better

Ronald: 100%

Carlitos: CONTINUE DRAGGING HIM

Riqui: BEING LIED TO FOR YEARS!! BITCH

Riqui: I don't know how Nobita is still living freely in this world.

Ronald: I told y'all THEY have a GC.

Carlitos: How many GCs are these guys in bro.

Pedri: HE WILL BE HERE FOREVER

Pedri: MANIFESTING IT TO THE UNIVERSE

Francisco: 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

Riqui: Imagine Leo as Barça's Sporting Director

Ronald: Gerard as President

Carlitos: Xavi being our coach, Andres his assistant

Frenkie: Busi can also be there

Frenkie: Vice-President Busi

Sergiño: Dani can be head of the PR department

Riqui: OHHH I like that!!

Oscar: Puyi can be head of La Masia

Carlitos: 😍😍😍😍

Francisco: Well this interview did not do damage. 🙌🏻🙌🏻

Frenkie: Told ya

Pedri: I'm gonna go wash my face and drink some water..

Ansu: This was okay.. a part from the funeral part. And well the Diego moments

Riqui: He was so uncomfortable during that..

Carlitos: Jordi insisted too much when Leo said he doesn't like to talk about some stuff.. like 😒

Carlitos: TAKE A HINT DUDE

Oscar: Sometimes I want to punch him

Arnau: Most times*

Oscar: Most times I want to punch him

Carlitos: All the time*

Oscar: I want to punch him all the time

Riqui: Perfect.

Ansu: Who do we want to be president now though

Carlitos: No idea .. I need to think

Oscar: Exactly..

Riqui: All I know is.. "Change" is needed.

Riqui: And by change I mean management

Riqui: And by management I mean Ronald

Arnau: Yeah we got it at "Change"

Riqui: Just in case.

Iñaki: Oh no we got it loud and clear

Riqui:

Carlitos: 😒😒😒

[shineyma]

I know you will probably deny this but it'll be no use because I am 100% certain that you slyly faux-randomly mentioned you ship Nell x Callen early on in my introduction to Nell, so you would ensure I slip and fall for them as a couple and you will have another person suffering with you the non-canon status of this ship. Because I have checked. They are not canon. And you are sinister. Plying me with your eagerness to help out by writing up a list of Nell-heavy episodes, meanwhile you had been planning my descent into Nell x Callen since I asked you if you recommended NCIS:LA. Now, you will claim that you barely mentioned Nell x Callen twice and you didn't even go into any detail, but I am onto you. You're playing a long con.

I'm looking forward to moving onto later seasons so I can read more fics without spoiling myself. So far, I've only read a couple and Nell's characterization was rather off, so I didn't enjoy them as much.

The thing with Nell's character is that the writers have fairly managed to avoid many of the usual pitfalls in writing a young, female, genius, small-framed, tech wiz character working side by side with big bad agents, cops and the like. And I really love and enjoy that. Some of my favorite Nell moments so far attest to how they've deviated from that cliche character. I will be sending you a few of my favorite Nell moments so far, in vague details because my memory gets even worse than usual when binging.

I want to go on record to say that although I would prefer them dating other people because I think they wouldn't be as interesting together, however I don't mind Nell x Eric. Maybe it has to do the way both of them deviate from the cliches of their respective characters, and in fact I think it's mostly that, but the point is that I don't think they would end up toxic as many nerd x nerd type relationships end up written. But it's still tired to do this kind of thing. Of course, I skimmed the Nell x Callen tag and saw some spoilers for both ships mostly in the form of commentary, and I have the vague understanding that the writers will unfortunately do neither ship right. Well, I'll just ingore their bad writing as much as I can. I just love Nell and Eric individually so much, and you've told me I have things to look forward to with Nell, and I hope the same goes for Eric, because he also deserves his own heavy storylines and episodes.

Can I just say, in continuation of our talk on the team's body count, that I've noticed another pattern where several people die from a single gunshot that normally wouldn't be fatal, at least within a fictional setting, and mostly it's good guys or sort of good guys? Like, you have Callen who survived five bullets all over his torso, right? a

And then, if you recall the episode where they thought someone was leaking or selling classified information regarding covert ops or undercover operations, but it turned out that he was only putting together a tribute for fallen covert operatives and the like, who never received the recognition they deserved because of the classified nature of their work, instead they were just numbers, and the guy's tagline of sort was "names, not numbers," and he and sam were on a bus together, sam lied to the bad guys that he was the guy with the classified info and the other one was the agent protecting him, so they shot the guy instead, and he died. From a single bullet. To the right side of his torso. Maybe the bullet hit a lung in a bad way. I'm not saying it's not realistic. But the others haven't had a similar brush with death yet as far as I can recall, save for Dom (gone too soon, gone too soon), and obviously they would be as lucky as Callen if it was Kensi or Deeks or Sam, but still, the single-episode guys that fall dead from one bullet in a spot that in fiction is usually not lethal... I'm just saying. In an odd way, Callen surviving five bullets in his torso while other men and women have died from a single bullet somewhere ostensibly non lethal, whether the bullet came from the team or someone else, counts in the end toward the body count of the team and this show. It's not the same thing but it sort of falls under the same umbrella thing, if that makes any sense.

Phew. Six short paragraphs. Middle name is indeed "laconic," thank you very much.

*evil laughter* Yes, you've stumbled upon my evil plan!! Obviously it was my plot all along that you would be sucked into the Nell/Callen ship. Suffer, nonnie, suffer!!!

But really, nonnie, it's not my fault! The chemistry is there! They're perfect!!!

The fic is....something, I'll admit. I can recommend the fics by danakate but otherwise I haven't found many I love. But to be fair I am EXTREMELY picky, so. There's that, lol.

I'll be happy to hear any and all of your favorite Nell moments!!

I do not ship Nell/Eric AT ALL, which is part that they give me fs vibes and part that, in my opinion, the writers handled them really poorly. For a long time it seemed like they couldn't decide whether or not they wanted Nell to return Eric's feelings, so a lot of the time there was awkwardness that didn't make sense when compared to other scenes. I definitely prefer them as BFF.

Yeah, this show is just.....yeah. They want characters dead, so they're dead. Or they want characters to live, so they live. Even if it doesn't make sense most some of the time. But what can you do?

Thanks for checking in, nonnie! I'm happy to hear all of your thoughts lol.