#I'm going to have the murder boyfriends get a holiday home there at least. They can do planewalking in their spare time.

[y-rhywbeth2]

Do you have any idea if the light that provides a day/night cycle in Sigil counts as sunlight for the purposes of vampires? Because you mentioned in one post that the Dark Urge's only hope is fleeing to Sigil, and I was wondering if Astarion might also like to move there.

I mean it's not Durge's only hope, it's just probably the safest option... or they could deliberately piss off the Lady and get totally obliterated from existence, that sure solves the Bhaal problem.

I think I remember this kind of topic starting arguments. I've never seen an official answer for this and don't know how the issue has been handled with vampire characters in previous supplements, but I do know that, according to official rules from on high, exact wording of the RAW is important when it comes to vampiric weaknesses. For example, taking from a conversation with Jeremy Crawford about the viability of killing a vampire using a water elemental:

Harmed by Running Water. The vampire takes 20 acid damage when it ends its turn in running water. - Monster Manual (5e)

'What if a Water Elemental uses its move to repeatedly go through the Vampires space?' 'A water elemental is a creature, not a body of running water (a stream, a river, a waterfall, or the like).' 'But an elemental that is made of water, and runs, would that not be a running body of water? ' 'It would, indeed. Running body of water =/= body of running water.'

So following the spirit of the logic from that baffling conversation; according to the RAW, the daylight in the City of Doors shouldn't bother vampires because the vampiric weakness, in exact words, says 'in sunlight.'

Sunlight Hypersensitivity. The vampire takes 20 radiant damage when it starts its turn in sunlight. While in sunlight, it has a disadvantage on attack rolls and ability checks. - Monster Manual (5e)

And Sigil and the Outlands specifically says that the light, in exact words, 'isn't sunlight.'

Day and Night. Sigil observes a 24-hour day-night cycle. The sky gradually fills with luminescence during the day and fades into deep darkness as night. This light isn't sunlight. - Sigil and the Outlands

And even if they are bothered by the light, Sigil is a pretty good place to unlive and, boasting markets and stores that brings in goods, gossip and residents from all over existence, isn't a bad place to go looking for things that can cure you or let you walk in sunlight or whatever. Considering one of the factions and the undertaker industry is undead, there are probably businesses that cater to them and their needs. It's the most cosmopolitan place in existence, and the undead are legal citizens (although, if the lore from the Libris Mortis holds, you might need a license for feeding and agree to follow restrictions about not murdering people). For a guy whose idea of a good time involves the city life full of shenanigans, intrigue, danger, violence and etc, Sigil's a pretty good place to be if you don't get killed pissing off somebody powerful or fall into a puddle that's actually a portal to the paraelemental plane of ooze or something.

[medusapelagia]

Running From The Daylight - Part 1

Part 1 - (coming soon Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15)

This is going to be a long fic with A LOT of whump to fill every @whumpuary prompt, so it's obviously an exaggeration and, even if I did some research, I decided to use only things that were useful to me, so imagination and suspension of disbelief are fundamental! 😂 There will be A LOT of inaccuracies about almost everything! You are warned!

Rating: Mature Relationship: Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson Prompt: Snow WT: none Words: 1532

Eddie sighs, looking at the white blanket around the chalet that Steve booked for their first holiday together. The landscape is incredible, the chalet warm and comfortable but Eddie misses the chaos that always seems to surround him: the only sound in that stupid chalet is the crackling open fire, which is nice, don’t get him wrong, but after two days of white snow and crackling fireplace he is definitely bored to dead.

Steve has brought snowshoes and ski suits, but Eddie is not going for a walk in the mountain's freezing air, so they resolved to stay in the chalet and spend their time together, which is great! They never have time to be together but now Eddie is really bored out of his mind. The stupid television gets only a couple of local channels that are always giving news about the small village on the slope of the mount or teleshopping and even their stupid phones have almost no signal and they have to stay near the bathroom window if they want to make a call because that’s the only place in the chalet with at least a little bit of signal.

Steve, on the other side, seems to have found the perfect life for him: he goes out to make firewood, cooks super tasty dinners and fucks his boyfriend on the cow skin rug, which Eddie finds a little bit too much when they have a very comfortable bed but he endures it.

A week.

Steve booked the stupid chalet for an entire week, and Eddie has already read all the books he brought with him and he is so fucking ready to go home, but he knows that Steve worked hard to organize everything, so he sighs for the umpteenth time, feeling like a princess in a high tower, waiting for the Saturday to come and bring him back to Hawkins.

The only perk of his day is seeing Steve getting back from cutting firewood, cheeks colored by the cold and the effort, eyes shining with pride and joy.

“I think we will be good for the next few days.” Steve tells him, dragging some firewood inside, Eddie is pretty sure that they will be good for months but he is not willing to spend more time in that godforsaken place so he nods and kisses Steve on his freezing lips.

“You are freezing. What could I do to make you warm?” Eddie asks, getting closer to the chestnut boy who chuckles “I’m all sweaty, I need a shower.”

“We can shower later. Together.”

***

Ok, maybe Eddie hates the chalet, but cuddling in front of the fireplace, looking at Steve in the warm light is not so bad. He looks so relaxed and comfortable that maybe the metalhead could endure a few more days of boredom just for him. Steve gets closer, rubbing his nose on Eddie's cheek before biting it.

"I want to eat you."

"You just did." Eddie chuckles, thinking about Steve's hot tongue on the most sensible part of his body.

"I want to eat you whole and keep you with me, forever."

"I don't know why but this sounds both terrifying and romantic at the same time. Maybe I'm into murderers." Eddie comments, carding his fingers in Steve's wet hair "We should dry ourselves."

"Don't want to. Wanna stay here on the carpet cuddling with you."

"You'll get sick if you don't dry your hair. Or even worse, you'll get a migraine." Eddie scolds him with a smile.

Steve groans something that sounds pretty close to spoilsport, but in the end, he gets up and they get back to the bathroom: Eddie sits on the toilet while Steve dries his hair. He tried to help him a couple of times but the results were far from good so now they have resolved that Eddie washes Steve's hair and Steve's dries Eddie's curl, is their little ritual: Eddie shakes his head like a wet dog and tries to run away from Steve's comb and when finally Steve gets him Eddie licks Steve's face like a happy puppy while the younger boy complains that he is gross but secretly loves it.

Not today. Today Eddie is sitting on the toilet, like a good boy, watching Steve do his magic trick with hairdryer and hairspray and then get closer to him, combing Eddie's hair with his fingers while gently blowing some not-too-hot air and scratching Eddie's scalp.

"You should do this as a job. You are really good at it." Eddie sighs, while Steve keeps playing with his hair.

"My parents will be elated to know that their fag son should be a hairdresser." he snorts.

"Fuck them. What are they going to do? Be even more disappointed in you?" Eddie asks, his eyes closed, still lost in the pleasurable feelings of having Steve take care of him, when Steve's fingers stop abruptly. Fuck. He opens his eyes, finding Steve avoiding his stare "Shit, Steve, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it."

"No, you are right." The chestnut boy replies, while he keeps drying Eddie's hair "They were always disappointed in me, why not add some more disappointment, right?"

Eddie would like to punch himself in the face, why can't he keep his mouth shut?

"Steve..."

"I'm good."

"No, you are not and I feel like shit because we were having a nice time and I ruined it." Eddie sighs, hiding his face in Steve's t-shirt.

"You didn't ruin anything. You always make everything better." Steve whispers in his hair, kissing the crown of Eddie's head while holding him close and Eddie gets lost in the comforting warmth of Steve's chest and in the stable rhythm of his heartbeat.

"I'm sorry. I don't know why I said that."

"You weren't wrong." Steve repeats, making soothing movements on Eddie's back and he feels even more guilty.

"You know what? Tomorrow we are going for a walk in the snow, how does it sound?" Eddie asks, lifting his head from his cozy hiding place.

"You hate the cold and every kind of physical activity that is not sex. You told me these exact words just yesterday."

"Yesterday I was another person, today I'm a moron who made his boyfriend sad and is trying really hard to cheer him up. What do you say?"

"You don't have to." Steve replies, still drying Eddie's hair "I know you hate the chalet."

"I don't hate the chalet, I might not like the cold, that's true, but I can endure a little walk with my boyfriend if he promises me we will do a snowman after!"

"A snowman?"

Eddie nods, happily "Yeah. A snowman with a carrot as a nose and a stupid hat."

Steve smiles sweetly at him "I think that can be arranged. You know, there are some beautiful places to see here, I made a little map with some really incredible mountain paths. But we have to wake up pretty soon if we want to take advantage of the natural light."

The days at the chalet are shorter than in town, as soon as the sun starts to go down the mountains cover it and it starts to freeze.

"Ok, I swear I'll get up as soon as the alarm goes off, ok?"

***

Maybe Eddie accidentally postponed the alarm a couple of times, ok? But he is still sipping his coffee, wearing the warmest clothes that he owns, already wearing his ski pants and ready to wear his ski jacket before leaving the chalet, while Steve has already made some sandwiches with a thermos of tea, not coffee for Eddie's displeasure, and took some water and whatever they might need.

"We are not going to Mount Doom, are we?" Eddie asks, crunching a cinnamon cookie Steve made the night before.

"When you travel it is always better to be over-prepared." Steve says, checking for the third time if they have everything they might need. They haven't traveled a lot, but every time they have gone on holiday somewhere Eddie has just put a few clothes in a bag, while Steve made the itinerary, booked the hotels, and took care of everything. It's so nice to see him so involved in his preparation, sometimes Eddie mocks him and tells him that he takes everything too seriously, but he loves seeing Steve so absorbed.

"Ok, we should have everything. Have you finished breakfast?"

Eddie nods, takes his cup toward the kitchen, and comes back to the living room; Steve is already wearing his ski pants, and his jacket is on the couch while he helps Eddie get into his ski suit "I feel like a Puft marshmallow man." Eddie complains while Steve closes the last button of his jacket.

"You will be glad you are well covered when we get to the glacier." Steve smirks.

"To the glacier? Are you kidding? Tell me that you are kidding! Steve! Steve!" Eddie calls, following his boyfriend and then they hear a rumbling that gets louder and louder. Eddie goes toward the kitchen to look outside the window but Steve grabs him and drags him away, after that all Eddie can hear it's the static.

[libertyreads]

December TBR--

December might be my weirdest TBR of the year. Let's go out with a bang shall we? I have a couple of new releases to read this month as well as a couple of library books for the holidays. And I'm starting a series that I'm really unsure about. Let's get into the books. Starting with the ones I don't have in physical form (at least not yet).

The Ex-Mas Holidays by Zoe Allison (library)-- Another Christmas novel for me to read. I'm loving that I'm giving myself the space to read these this year when I haven't for the past few. I normally do a Christmas in July and then don't read any more but it's so fun to feel the festive spirit while reading. The synopsis for this one will be taken straight from GoodReads: "It's hard to escape your ex when you're working together over Christmas in the Scottish Highlands, but being stuck together might be the best possible present in this sparkling new contemporary romance."

Holiday Kisses by multiple authors (library)-- This is a holiday anthology featuring stories from Alison Kent, Jack Burton, HelenKay Dimon, and Shannon Stacey. I've already read the one from HelenKay Dimon (it's actually how I found out about this anthology after the fact). So, I will probably be logging these as the separate entries they are in my spreadsheets and updates. But we follow: 1) a man who gives the gift of trust and receives a second chance at love in return, 2) a woman who helps to heal the wounded heart of a soldier, 3) a couple who finds that true love knows no distance, and 4) a young window who learns that there can be two great loves in a lifetime. Festive and romance filled these should be good, quick reads for me.

Freshman Year by Sarah Mai (NetGalley)-- A contemporary graphic novel that follows Sarah as she goes to school in Minnesota and hopes to impress her professors, meet interesting new people, and stay close to her friends and boyfriend back at home. What seems manageable at first quickly unravels as Sarah's high achieving roommate puts her to shame, her summer love dissolves, and she is quickly overwhelmed with the freedom, isolation, and possibilities that college gives her. This looked so cute on NetGalley and I'm excited to read it this month.

The Ruined by Renee Ahdieh (new release)-- The finale to The Beautiful comes out this month and I'm excited to finish this one out. This hasn't been a stand out series for me but I'm connected to the characters enough to see it through. Especially with the way the last book ended. This series is about vampires set in 1800s New Orleans but it definitely becomes more involved as the series goes on. In this one we watch as the Sylvan Vale and Sylvan Wild go to war while our beloved Bastien and Celine are separated and dealing with their own dramas.

Falling Kingdoms by Morgan Rhodes-- This is the series starter that I'm unsure of. This is a 2012 Fantasy novel with four p.o.v.s so it can go one of two ways: 1) I love it, 2) I hate it. There will probably be no middle ground. Synopsis? In the three kingdoms of Mytica, magic has long been forgotten and hard-won peace has reigned for centuries. But underneath it all a deadly unrest simmers. Each ruler grapples for power while the lives of their subjects are brutally transformed. Four key players find their fates forever intertwined; caught in a dizzying world of treacherous betrayals, shocking murders, secret alliances, and unforeseen love.

Defiant by Brandon Sanderson (new release)-- This is the final book in the Skyward series (but I've heard rumblings of a spin off series) and I'm sort of just ready to see it finished. I agree with a lot of the people who are out there saying that it's basically flight school in every novel which has gotten stale. The Skyward series follows Spensa who wants to train to becoming a pilot for the military but has to deal with her father's past. The world expands and expands as the series goes on. It's an okay series that I enjoyed more in the beginning. I think this final book is what will either make the time I've spent on the series worth it or a waste of time. It's Sanderson so I'm kind of hoping what I've heard about his finales holds up.

On a Sunbeam by Tillie Walden (library)-- This is a pretty well loved Sci-Fi graphic novel from what I can tell. We follow Mia who joins a crew that rebuilds run down structures throughout the deepest reaches of space. It flashes back to Mia's pivotal freshman year of school and a mysterious new student she falls in love with. We also find out the true reason Mia joins this crew. I love space. I love found family. I'm here for it.

All of these books are pretty much being sourced from different places: preorders, my physical TBR, the library, NetGalley. So, I'm happy to see that. I just hope I have a good time completing a couple of series, starting a new one, getting into the festive spirit.

[libraryofloveletters]

Love Delivered To Your Doorstep

Evan Buckley x Reader

Warnings: fem!reader, mentions of cheating, break ups and killing/serial killers. (<in a joking context) 

Category: fluff for the most part. 

Word Count: 3.9k

Author’s Note: Doesn’t follow canon, it has a little of buck begins in there but it doesn't follow a strict timeline. It also is written like Buck moves to LA and has his apartment from the moment he moves there while trying to figure out what he wants to do. 

-----

Texting and calling was never your choice method of communication. 

Letters had always been more of your thing. 

Truthfully, they hadn't been your thing until your boyfriend moved halfway across the country for university. The two of you met in high school, freshman year and became inseparable since. Growing together and promising to always love each other no matter what -you always knew that couldn't be true but it never stopped you from telling him. 

When he told you that he was going to be applying to UCLA during your senior year of high school, it came as a bit of a shock to you. The plan was always going to college together, get engaged when you were done school and then married with a house by 30. 

You held out the hope of that being possible until the day he showed you his acceptance letter. 

You were incredibly proud of him but it was real now, he was leaving. 

You watched him pack up his entire life and uproot himself from New York and moved across the country. You sent the first letter to him at what was supposed to be his apartment. 

September 30th.

‘Hi baby! 

Just writing to see how you're settling in. How’s UCLA ? Have you gotten a chance to go around and get to see the place ? I know you’re there for school but you've got to live a little too. Hope your neighbours are sweet, your mom told me it’s a pretty nice place and it’s got a good view, sounds like your type of place. Hopefully I can come visit you soon. 

I started my classes last week. My chem professor is a pain in my ass already, he expects us to read an entire textbook in a week - well not exactly an entire textbook but you get the point. My biology professor is a sweetheart, she showed us pictures of her kids and talked about them for an hour, I didn't realize being a mother was so interesting but she was cool. Also showed us a video of an appendectomy that one of her colleagues performed last week. How are your classes and professors ? 

Did I mention I bumped into Sam at the grocery store ? Yeah, he’s back and he’s not fine to tell you the truth. He seemed like he was ready to snap but that might just be my judgment. He said to tell you hello if I spoke to you so- hello :) 

I’m going to sign off here, I know this one is short but I don’t have much to update you on. Life’s been pretty dull without you. Hope you’re having fun out there, soaking up the sun for me.

Write me back soon, I love you. 

Yours always, y/n’

You mailed the letter the next day, a few weeks had passed before you received a letter back. Except this letter had a different sender name but the same address.

October 22nd. 

‘Hi y/n,

This isn't your boyfriend. (I'm assuming that’s who you're writing too based on the context of the letter) I’m Evan, I live in the apartment you thought belonged to your boyfriend or maybe you got the address wrong, I’m not sure.  I know you were waiting for an update on all these exciting things that are happening at UCLA. I do not go to UCLA nor can I update you in anything exciting that’s happening there, sorry.

Anyways, the reason I'm writing you back is because I figured you’d want to know that this isn't the correct address and the person you were looking for isn't here before you send another letter and get no response. I was debating if I should have even written you back, but here I am, writing you back. 

Your professor for chem seems like an ass to be honest (hope that’s not rude) and your biology professor sounds great, is she hot by the way ? because bonus points for that. Anyways, are you studying medicine ? I'm guessing yes because of the classes you're taking. I'm thinking of signing up to become a first responder but I haven’t decided yet on what yet or if I'm actually going to do it. Anyways, good luck on your classes and the shitty chem professor. 

Hope you find your boyfriend (again, assuming) 

Peace out, 

Evan.’

To say you were shocked would be an understatement. How could the letter you sent to your boyfriend’s apartment belong to someone else ? Why was there someone else living in his apartment ? You dug through your apartment, searching for the paper he left you with the address, you finally found it buried in a drawer.

The address on the paper was identical to the one that Evan sent to you and to the one you sent prior to that. Either your boyfriend was lying or you were losing your mind. 

November 4th. 

‘Dear Evan, 

I'm sorry that I sent the first letter to you and as you guessed, I was looking for my boyfriend who seems to be a bit MIA right now. His mother says that’s the right address and the place that she helped him move into. So I'm not really sure what’s happening there. Anyways, sorry for unloading all of that on you. 

To answer your question, yes, I am studying medicine and no, she isn't hot. My bio professor is a 65 year old woman who loves her college aged kids very much. If that’s your definition of hot, then yes - she's got milf status

Have you decided yet if you’re going to sign up to be a first responder ? That’d be pretty cool. Imagine all the girls swoon over you and how many girls you’d pick up just for being a paramedic or a firefighter. 

Wait, are you into girls ? Or guys ? You know, whoever you're into, just imagine how many of them you’d pick up. 

Also, you’re not a murderer or anything right ? because I rather not answer questions when the police come asking about why I've been sending letters to a serial killer. 

Anyways, signing off for now. 

Yours always, y/n. 

ps. if you do end up bumping into or meeting a guy that looks like my boyfriend, (tall, brown hair, brown eyes. he’s got a pierced ear and a little butterfly tattoo by his collarbone- though not sure why or how you'd see his collarbone) let me know or tell him that his girlfriend is looking for him.

Double ps, what size shirt do you wear ?’

Buck laughed at your absurd question. A person he didn’t even know was asking what size shirt he wore. The letter was set on the coffee table with the rest of the mail, getting buried under all of the stuff he had on there. It was almost the end of December when he realized that he hadn't written you back yet. 

December 21st. 

‘Hey y/n, 

Sorry I've taken so long to get back to you. Things have been hectic over here. I’ve been doing some ‘soul-searching’ - I guess you could call it that and honestly, I don’t think if this whole first responders thing is for me. 

I tried out bartending or well, the technical term is mixologist and I’m liking it so far, I think i’m going to stick with it for now. 

How have you been ? How’s school ? Surely, you’re on break for the holidays right about now or at least when you get this letter. I hope that you're spending the break doing something fun. 

I’m not going to make this very long, I’m sure you’ve been busy with whatever you’re doing right now. 

Also, I’ve been meaning to ask. Have you located the mysteriously disappearing boyfriend yet ? I haven't seen anyone that fit your description. 

well, that’s not true- I did and just to be sure I asked to see his collarbone, he looked at me like I was a mad man so I guess it wasn't him ? 

Anyways, I hope you have a good holiday and you're probably gonna get this sometime between holidays, so merry belated (?) Christmas and happy New Years y/n. 

Peace out, 

Evan. 

ps. medium or large, depending on what it is. Hopefully that answers your question weirdo.’

January 13th. 

The morning of the 13th, he went down to check his mail. A box was there with his name on it, the return address was one he had only seen on an envelope. The box returned upstairs with him, setting it on the counter before opening it. 

Upon opening it, there was a letter and some colourful tissue paper with what seemed like a sweater under it. He opened the letter first.

‘Dear Evan, 

Happy New Years! How was your holiday going ? Did you do anything fun ? 

I’ve been good and school is good too, I'm almost done my first year, isn't that crazy ? Just a few more months to go. 

How’s your job as mr. mixologist going ? I'm sure you’ve met some wild people and heard some interesting stories. 

As for the boyfriend situation, that's over. I’m not surprised to tell you the truth but it still kinda sucks. Anyways, so what happened was that his older brother had come home from college last year and brought a friend with him. She went to the same school as his brother but transferred to UCLA- anyways long story short, they hooked up while he and I were still together and he moved in with her after his mom helped him move into the apartment I thought he had. 

But! I’m single and chilling now so it’s all good. (bonus, she cheated on him and left him so yeah) 

I got you a little something for Christmas and as a “sorry for unloading all my boyfriend drama on you” present. I was in the gift shop and it made me think of you. Do you celebrate Christmas? I forgot to check oops. If you don't, count it as a just a “sorry for unloading all my boyfriend drama on you” present? 

I got a large because I wasn't sure if it would fit. I hope you like it. That’s all for now.

Yours always, y/n.’

He unwrapped the tissue paper to see a blue sweater with the letters NYU on it. He smiled, he assumed that’s where you went. It was sweet that you took the time to get him something, even if it was a by the way thing. Not a lot of people would send something to a person they had been talking to via letters and halfway across the country. 

February 12th. 

2 days before Valentine's Day, your least favourite holiday of the year. You weren't looking forward to watching all your friends going on with their boyfriends and girlfriends. The mail had arrived while you were out, you picked it up and headed in. There were two envelopes with your name on it,  a plain white one and a red one. The red envelope was more squared than rectangular, you assumed it was a card- both had the same sender name. 

‘Hey y/n!

Thank you for the sweater, it was nice of you to think of me and get me something. I didn’t know we were doing gifts or I would have sent you something as well and yes, I do celebrate Christmas. 

My job as ‘mr. mixologist’ was going well until I quit. It just didn’t feel like the right fit for me you know ? I'm going to see what else is out there for me. 

Sorry to hear about your boyfriend, he seems like a douche. Who would cheat on you ? You seem great I mean at least you are on paper (did you get my joke, it’s hard to tell) 

Also, remember how I was thinking I might actually give that first responder thing a try? Imagine me as a firefighter, that’s pretty cool right ? 

So I kinda did a thing and signed up and then I got in. I started two weeks ago and it was kicking my ass at first but I've gotten a hang of it and things are going pretty well. There's three other Evans in my class so everyone calls me Buck-I kind of like it. 

The other envelope, hopefully you opened this one first, is a little something for you for valentines. Hope you like it. 

Peace out, 

Buck’ 

The red envelope was on your lap, you pulled the edges carefully not wanting to rip it. Inside was a plain white card with bright red letters that made you laugh. The cover read ‘I’m not sick of you yet!” Opening the card, a $20 fell onto your lap. There was a little message inside that went along with the cash. 

‘Since we aren't together and can’t spend valentines together, there’s some cash to get yourself a box of chocolates and a teddy bear. Happy Valentines Day y/n

Love, Buck.’ 

You smile, this was the first time that Buck had signed with ‘love, buck’ it had always been ‘peace out, buck.’ You tucked the card into the drawer, one you didn’t use very often so you knew it’d be safe there. 

*4 years later*

A few weeks had passed since Buck had last heard from y/n. His last letter to her was at the end of June, telling her all about the day he had spent at Hen and Karen’s. He always described every little detail so vividly that it made her feel like she was there with him- but it was now July, end of actually and moving into August. 

4 years had blown like nothing.

It felt like just yesterday he got the first letter in the mail. 4 years and they still had no idea what each other looked like but they knew every intricate and intimate detail about each other, their lives and the people in it. 

Y/n and Buck had grown rather close over the last few months- more than they already were. Y/n just went through a pretty shitty break up and Buck wasn't exactly big on relationships as of right now. 

He had just gotten home from work, his keys set on the counter when he realized that he forgot to check his mail. Stepping back out, there was a woman in the hallway and boxes scattered across her, leading into the apartment down the hall. 

She must be his new neighbour.

He wanted to go over and introduce himself but she was busy telling the movers where to set her couch so he decided that he would check the mail and then introduce himself when he returned so he did just that. 

Except, she was still busy. 

She leaned against the wall, watching the movers move what looked like a coffee table. She glanced up to see Buck walking by, she smiled and he returned the smile. 

Buck reaches his apartment, the mail in hand and steps in. He sorts through the pile, bills, ads, coupons and no letter from y/n. 

---

Your new apartment was a mess. You decided it was time for a change. You applied to a few hospitals after your break up and the one in LA hired you. So you dropped everything and moved- no family, no ties. 

A fresh start. 

It was a nice neighbourhood and the building was quiet. The neighbours you met were pleasant and welcoming. When you were having the furniture moved in, there was a blonde man who smiled at you and you assumed he lived in the unit down the hall because that’s where he stepped into. 

It was almost 11pm when you finally sat down. You had been on your feet all day and just wanted to eat something. The box with the dishes was beside the couch, you pulled the tape off and opened it. There was an envelope sitting on top of the stack of plates. 

Buck’s last letter to you. 

You must have tossed it into the boxes while packing and you forgot to write him back. Tumbling through the boxes, you find a sheet of paper and a pen from your bag. Sitting on the floor, the paper resting on an unopened box, you begin writing. 

‘Dear Buck, 

I’m sorry I've taken so long to get back to you. I quit my job, and uprooted my entire life. The break up sucked major ass as you know, so I decided it was time for a change. 

Guess where I decided to go ? 

Did you guess yet? 

No, not Canada, why would you guess Canada ? 

LA! 

Yeah, isn't that crazy that I ended up here of all places? Maybe we could get together one day (if you haven’t turned into a crazy serial killer that is.) 

Anyways, that’s why I've taken so long to write. I was packing when I got your letter and I tossed it in a box and just found it again. Anyways, I hope you’ve been good, how have things been at the station ? 

I promise I'll write again with more details soon, I just have to get settled in first. 

Yours always, y/n.’ 

Folding the paper, you slipped into an envelope. The address being scribbled into the back of the envelope. You were about to seal it when the building number caught your eye. 

It was the same number as the place you moved into. The same address, the building number, the same floor. 

The unit number was the only difference. 

There was no way you moved into the building that Buck lived in. 

You knew the address felt familiar when you saw the listing but you didn’t think anything of it nor did it occur to you that you knew the address. 

Stepping out of your apartment, looking at the number on the room and back down at the envelope in your hand. Buck’s apartment was down the hall. 

Part of you just wanted to mail it and keep things as it was but another part of you wanted to meet him, to see what he was really like in person. So there you were walking down the hallway at a quarter past 11 in the dead of the night to meet a man you had been sending letters to for the last 4 years. 

The end of the hallway, you stared at the black wooden door in front of you. Your brain weighing the options right now: he’s a sweetheart and welcoming and makes you feel comfortable or he’s a weird guy who’s been lying to you this whole time and you told him everything about you and now he’s going to kill you. 

Before you could register what you were doing, you knocked on the door. 

Glancing down at yourself, you were wearing a pair of old shorts and a t-shirt from high school that you found in a drawer while packing. Not an ideal outfit, maybe he’s sleeping and you can go home and change- the door opened, a man wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt stood there. He looked like he had just woken up. 

“Sorry, did I wake you?” 

“It's alright,” he yawned, his hand covering his mouth as he blinked away a few tears. “What can I do for you ?” he leaned against the door. 

“Um, this is an odd question-” you shifted, glancing down at the envelope in your hand. “Are you Buck ?” 

“I am, who are you ?” 

“Y/n.” 

You had never seen a man wake up that fast, he seemed surprised, confused and concerned all in one. “How- uh, are you- What ?” he mumbled. 

“I found your letter in the box after I moved, I moved into the apartment down the hall” you point to your left, Buck sticks his head out of the doorway and looks at the door you were pointing to. You were the woman in the hallway that he saw earlier, he knew you looked familiar. 

“I just wrote your letter and I noticed that the addresses were the same, just a different unit number so I decided to come check. Sorry if I bothered you, we can talk another day- it’s late and you probably have work” “Would you like to come in?” he opens the door a bit more, looking to you for an answer. 

“Um, okay sure.” stepping in, you can’t help but glance around. The apartment was similar to yours, the layout was a bit different though. “Can I get you something to drink ? Coffee, water ? A beer ?” he rounded the kitchen counter, you took a seat on one of the chairs by the counter. 

“Water’s fine, thanks” 

He reached for a bottle from the fridge, sliding it over to you. You gave him a smile, he leaned against the counter and was now looking- studying you. 

“I know we’ve talked to each other for 4 years but this is kinda strange” you chuckled awkwardly, Buck can't help but smile. 

“Yeah, it is, isn't it? but can I ask why you moved to LA?” 

“Well all of that was in the letter” you slide the envelope across the counter and he picks it up, opening it. Giving him a few moments to read, you watch his expression like you were hoping for some insight as to how he was feeling or what he was thinking. He let out a laugh, “how’d you know I'd guess Canada ?” you smiled at him, a small wave of relief washing over you for some reason. “Lucky guess I suppose” 

“Do you-” “What are-” the sentences cutting each other off, the two of you awkwardly smiling at each other. “You first” looking at him, he hums. 

“Do you have work tomorrow or are you busy ?” His eyes meet yours, you found yourself leaning forwards towards the counter- towards him. He made you feel comfortable, you’d go as far as to say safe, in a way you’ve never felt before. 

“No, I don't start until the 21st. Why ?” 

“I was thinking - if you're not busy and if you want to, of course. Maybe I could take you out for breakfast and I could show you around ? Or lunch or dinner ? Whatever works for you actually” he rambles, fiddling with his fingers to avoid eye contact. 

A small laugh slips past your lips causing him to look up, his brows furrowed as he studies your face, looking for an answer. 

“Breakfast sounds good, what time should I be ready for ?” 

“Uh, is 10 okay ?” he asks, you nod. “I’ll be ready for 10 then.” 

“Okay, I'll pick you up” he smiles. 

“Buck, we live in the same building.” 

“Oh right,” he chuckles, “well I'll be by yours at 10 then” the two of you smiling at each other. 

“Okay.” 

----

taglist: @advicefromnixxxx @dralexreid @keenmarvellover @beth-winchester21 @fernandaweasley2 @yikesyikesyikes95 @hotchsdarling @duhbar1975 @hailsstormthings @averyhotchner  @captainxholmes @venusrosepetal @luke-alvez​ @looney-literature @caitsymichelle13​ @artemishunter18​ @anxiousblanketqueen​

[aquafaith]

My lengthy, angry ACOSF rant review.

Spoilers, TW for mental, emotional, physical, and sexual abuse.

.

.

.

I loved ACOTAR. I still love ACOTAR. I always will love ACOTAR. But every book afterwards made me give up more and more. ACOMAF romanticized an abusive relationship and assassinated characters for the author's convenience. ACOWAR was a bunch of boring and inconsequential death scares. ACOFAS was all-round dreadful. And each book kept shitting on and pushing away Lucien for no reason.

I'd like to preface this by saying I hated Nesta too. I hated the way she treated Feyre in ACOTAR especially, and I wasn't even too excited for this book because I wasn't that keen on Nesta as a character.

Nesta's POV and her backstory changed my perspective. It does not excuse her actions. All Nesta stans can hold these characters accountable for what they do - trauma is a reason, not an excuse. I, and many others, sided with Nesta because of the way she's treated by everyone else in this book. Also, if you're going to hate Nesta for not teaching Feyre how to read and letting her hunt at fourteen, (which I did, and are very valid things to hate), AT LEAST hold Elain accountable too.

This book. This fucking book.

Shall we start with the intervention? Feyre on her little power trip thinks that her boyfriend that hates Nesta and Nesta hates back, Nesta's ex-best friend, and her possible mate who she never talks to should be at this stupid fucking intervention??? Excuse me???

Remember in ACOMAF when Feyre wouldn't shut up about how rich Rhysand is? Feyre literally has four or five houses and is always talking about how much jewelry and lingerie she can afford because Rhysand is so rich??? Well, Nesta has a few shots. So you know what Feyre does? Humiliates Nesta at this "intervention", TEARS DOWN HER HOME, and forces her to go to the Illyrian training camp.

That was the god awful premise for this book.

Did you think Elain wasn't there because she was against the "intervention"? Nope! She was packing Nesta's belongings without permission.

Remember in ACOMAF when it's made a big fucking deal that locking up a traumatised woman is extremely damaging? Well, when Nesta decides she doesn't want to be in Illyria, Feyre locks her in the House of Wind. Nesta can't fly, so her only way of leaving is down the TEN THOUSAND STEPS, that Feyre KNOWS Nesta isn't capable of climbing.

Feyre's pregnant. In ACOFAS she randomly decided that she wanted a baby to remember Rhysand by if he dies. Which doesn't make any sense because they made that stupid fucking death pact in ACOWAR. It's just SJM superimposing her pregnancy onto her early 20's protagonist. Ignoring the fact that Feyre isn't ready for a baby and Rhysand CERTAINLY isn't, and with a war just ended and another looming and so much trauma and a DEATH PACT are all such horrible circumstances to bring a child into, Feyre is already pregnant. Remember when SJM made a big deal about Fae babies being so hard to conceive, and Feyre said in ACOFAS they wouldn't have to worry for a long time because it can take years to conceive your first Fae child? Well it's been no more than 3 or 4 months and Feyre's already pregnant. Yep.

Also the birth will kill her. Because of course it will. Rhysand KNEW this, and still agreed to try for a baby.

There's no solution. Abortions don't exist for some stupid reason, and a C section would apparently kill Feyre?

(Wasn't this book supposed to be about Nessian?)

In ACOWAR, Cassian was on the battlefield with his entrails around his knees. Someone had to literally hold his guts in for him, and he's fine, but you're telling me a C section would kill Feyre?

Don't worry, this is just setting up the AWFUL ending to this book.

ACOSF amounts to Nesta being gaslit into believing her abusers are right. Her friends and family slut shame her and shame her for her lifestyle constantly. Cassian says it took him decades to work through some of his trauma, and he tried to drink and fuck it away too, but suddenly when Nesta does so it's heinous? Nesta's barely twenty five and she's expected to cope better than these ancient immortals.

Hell, didn't SJM write ACOMAF? Nobody expected Feyre to pick herself up so quickly. The IC (excluding Rhysand) respected her boundaries for the most part and understood when it was grief, trauma, and turmoil that made her angry, sad, want to be left alone, etc. But that's all forgotten here.

Amren also compares Nesta to the people in, and says she belongs in, The Court of Nightmares. You know, the murderers, abusers and rapists? This innocent woman who had a few shots and a bit of sex is on par with them, apparently!

The sex scenes.

SJM is scared to say vagina so she says sex.

She says seed to mean semen.

Apparently the word cunt turns SJM on. I just found Cassian saying that kinda cringe because I'm Bri'ish so the word cunt really isn't a big deal.

Back to the baby killing Feyre, because this is definitely what we all wanted from this book as indicated by the change in covers and format and title... Rhysand decides not to tell Feyre. He tells her friends and family, and tells them not to tell her.

SJM loves sweeping Rhysand's abuse from the first book under the rug and claiming it's always about Feyre's choice... where is that here, MAAS? WHERE IS IT?

Anyway, when Nesta rightfully decides to tell Feyre (although it is kind of out of spite), Rhysand threatens to kill Nesta.

And I believed him. With the way he treats his """mAtE tHaT hE lOvEs sO mUcH""" and all the people he's mindlessly killed before, do you really think he wouldn't kill the person who gave Feyre an inch of autonomy?

So what does Cassian do? His lover who he cares deeply about and suspects is his mate has received a death threat from tHe mOsT pOwErFuL hIgH lORd iN hIsToRy.

Cassian simply gets Nesta out of the court.

EXCUSE ME?

He doesn't breathe ONE word to Rhysand about this. This Illyrian WARRIOR who fought with his GUTS HANGING OUT didn't dare step up to the hIGh lOrD who he considers his brother and sparrs and fights with all the time?

Cassian literally does nothing.

Was it not Rhysand himself who said Mated males are dangerous? Can kill anyone who looks at their mate? Can be dangerous simply leaving the house? Rhys and Feyre both pull the Mate card to justify their bad actions on the other's behalf... and Cassian just tried to get Nesta out of the court?

Also, this High King bullshit.

I swear to fucking god, if SJM DARES to make this abusive, power-tripping, mOsT pOwErFuL hIgH lOrD eVEr, husband-insert of hers hIgH kInG, I will fight her in the street.

My beloved Lucien is in this book. Only for him to be used and shat on.

I really liked it when he calmed Cassian down with just a look though. Yes please fox man.

Helion is also in this book. Nothing to do with Lucien.

Eris is also in this book. ERIS. Lucien's eldest brother. The same one who abused him for years, but according to SJM he's slightly better, because at least he didn't agree to kill Lucien's lover. He betrayed his daddy that one time, therefore Eris is good. Y'know, the same Eris who abused Mor? Left her laying on the Autumn Court border with a nail in her womb? Well SJM is going back on her own canon to redeem yet ANOTHER abusive male, while continuing to demonize Tamlin for things he only happened to do when SJM decided the villain from the first book was sexy.

Nesta and Cassian are Mates.

Remember when Mates were supposed to be a rare and sacred thing? Now SJM dishes them out like Oprah.

I don't want these characters to be mates. I want to see them slowly fall in love. But SJM is incapable of writing that so she forces them together with the mAtInG bOnD. That's literally the only basis for most of these relationships, Feysand especially.

The only relationship where the bond would make sense is between Helion and The Lady of Autumn. Who still isn't named. But I will die on the hill that they're mates, I can feel it between them.

I wanted someone to die in this book. I predicted that it would either be Helion or Tarquin, but Tarquin isn't even in this one.

And the ending.

SJM can't write a decent climax, so she kills both Feyre and Rhysand for the second time. Yep.

The baby is being born which stupidly kills Feyre, and thankfully takes Rhysand with them.

Nesta decides to save them. Bad choice. But she decides to save them! Because she's so powerful and she ATE THE CONTENTS OF THE CAULDRON and she's CONNECTED TO THE MOTHER.

Do you know what happens.

Nesta loses her powers.

NESTA.

LOSES.

HER.

POWERS.

The powers we've hardly seen, the powers that were briefly mentioned and used ONCE in ACOWAR, then we saw like two flashes of in this book? They're GONE now. GONE SO NESTA CAN SAVE HER ABUSIVE SISTER AND ABUSIVE HUSBAND WHO ABUSES THEM BOTH.

Nesta is just an Amren now. They both fought for their powers, and had to give them up to save people who didn't deserve it. Now they're anticlimactically trapped in powerless bodies.

Also, and I can't BELIEVE I didn't originally include this - do you know what else Nesta TRADED HER POWERS FOR?

Illyrian anatomy so she can carry Cassian's baby one day.

EXCUSE ME?

I am so fucking SICK TO DEATH of the narrative that every woman needs a man and children to be happy. SJM clearly loves this because she's literally only keeping Amren and Nesta alive now to be sex objects to their partners and nothing else seeing as their POWERS WERE RIPPED AWAY FROM THEM, and now NESTA TRADED THOSE POWERS TO HAVE A BABY SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW SHE WANTS? Nesta does NOT strike me as a motherly type. She's the wine aunt, she and Cassian are the couple that go on holiday a lot and and babysit their nieces and nephews, but nope. Nesta HAS to have children.

The Feysand baby is called Nyx. That's just so underwhelming, you go from these huge, multiple syllable names like Amarantha and Morrigan and Lucien to Nyx? I get it's supposed to be unique but it's not even meaningful. It's just more shit-flavoured icing on the hAHa nIgHt uWu cake. I prefer Renesmée.

Nesta is wrong somehow. She says she's sorry as she's saving them. FOR WHAT? For being a little rude to Feyre as all sisters are? And rightfully hating your sister's abuser?

Oh yeah, remember in ACOWAR when Nesta took care of a comatose, starving Elain for months? Elain is randomly okay now because she takes care of her mental health the stereotypical way of baking cakes, and not drinking and fucking, which she shames Netsa for.

Remember the slut shaming, demeaning comments that the whole iNnEr cIrClE made about Nesta? They all expect apologies from her. For some reason.

Nesta has done nothing wrong. She coped with her trauma and minded her business in her own ways, and she's expected to apologise to the people who control and emotionally abuse her.

Nothing that any of these characters did to Nesta is right. Nesta wasn't okay at the end, this wasn't Nesta's healing story. This is Nesta being shamed and degraded until she submits.

Oh I can't believe I forgot to write this in my first draft of this review, do you know how Nesta "overcomes" her grief about her Father's death and her conflicting feelings about him and his life and her guilt? When she visits his grave for the first time, she takes Nyx.

NYX.

She holds NYX up to the grave and talks about how it's his grandson.

GO AWAY YOU STUPID DEMON BABY THIS IS NOT YOUR BOOK.

Speaking of, it's revealed that Nesta was abused by her mother and grandmother in this book? Something we were all looking forward to is seeing more of the Archeron's mother seeing as Feyre was so young when she died, but... nope. She gets a few vague mentions, and this newly revealed abuse is entirely glossed over. Nesta was also actively groomed by an older man at 14. But SJM glosses over this because of course she does.

Finally, the bonus chapters.

My edition came with a bonus chapter from Feyre's POV. It was pointless and I hated it.

There's another bonus chapter from Azriel's POV. Once I'd finished this book, he was one of the few characters I still harboured a shred of respect for.

Then I read his bonus chapter.

This exists to purely objectify Elain.

Whether you ship Elain with Azriel, or Lucien, or neither, this chapter is disgusting. He thinks about her coming on his tounge, and other things simply just to please him.

He then dares to suggest that "the Cauldron picked wrong" in choosing Lucien as Elain's mate?

No Azriel, SJM picked RIGHT in not giving each Archeron sister a bAt bOy.

Rhysand does the only right thing he's ever done by telling Azriel to stay away from Elain, but then he has to ruin it by clarifying that it's only so they can manipulate and use Lucien more.

Oh, and Azriel wants to kill Lucien.

Need I remind you that Lucien respects Azriel? Lucien is another victim of the Night Court's needless, baseless torment, and Azriel is no exception.

Lucien stays well out of Elain's way because she makes it clear that she's not interested in a mate, but Azriel wants to kill him simply for being her mate.

Lucien has done nothing. And I mean literally NOTHING to warrant any of this treatment. From the bAt bOyS, from Feyre, from his family, from SJM, from the deluded part of this fandom that think he's done wrong. NOTHING.

All I liked about this book was the Lucien scenes (which is a given), ((although I hated the way everyone talks about him behind his back)), Nesta's relationship with the house, Emerie and Gwyn, the evidence that Gwynriel is endgame and subsequently Elucien, and the book love. Everything else was horrible. Oh, and Nesta hates Rhysand. I love that for her, because everyone else bows at his feet.

Oh yeah, when Nesta DARES suggest that Rhysand is an "arrogant, preening asshole" which I think is a compliment, Cassian can't take Rhys' cock out of his mouth for one second, and has to get mad at her for having an opinion. Don't even get me started on Azriel in that scene.

If each book after ACOTAR made me slowly give up, this book made me give up altogether. I cannot go on to support this victim-blaming, abuse-forgiving, misogynistic series. I've given up on SJM, and the only characters I care about anyone are Lucien, Nesta, Helion, and Tarquin. I'll continue to read this series to see if SJM redeems herself, but I'll be downloading them for free. I'm not giving this piece of shit any more of my money.

I hope we don't get the Lucien book. I don't want her to slaughter my fox in the way she slaughtered LITERALLY EVERYONE ELSE.

Thanks for listening.

Edit: I put the review on Goodreads!

[scarecoen]

Trigger warning ⚠️ domestic violence.

I've typed this story a million times so I'm just going to summarize as much as I can.

A few days ago I was assaulted by my partner's family members. And as I've mentioned, I've typed this a million times and I'm honestly just exhausted thinking about it, but we could use some help.

My partner has always had a transphobic family. (I don't have anyone but my dad, who's in no position to help anyone.)

Her mom used her disability against her and manipulated her into giving her MOST of her checks. She's abused the system and my girlfriend.

When I met Jackie, she was with a terrible biggot. Jackie had came out, and her mother conspired with an abusive long distance ex, to fly her here, to stage an "intervention" and stop my partner from transitioning.

It worked. For years.

I met Jackie here on tumblr, we became good, SECRET friends because she wasn't allowed to talk to anyone.

I told Jackie openly about my views regarding gender and how I myself, was not cis.

Eventually she told her partner about us playing games together, which she responded to by harassing me.

Jackie ended up spilling the beans to me, about her mom, about the ex, everything. I realized that she had been extremely isolated and controlled her whole life.

So I intervened.

I got the two of them to separate, which wasn't smooth because Jackie was scared. She had been with her abuser for 9 years at this point. She's never known anything else.

The ex moved back to her state, and I started seeing Jackie, although she was stuck at her mom's... who was trying to play innocent at this time.

Eventually, I kinda just came and picked her up, she stayed the night, she didn't want to go back home. And I can't blame her. The house wasn't only disgusting, her family microagressed her all the time and they would tell her to pretty much stay in a dark room all day.

Ofc I didn't bring her back.

During early quarantine, we had a lot of self reflection and she started distancing herself from her mother, coming around to holding her accountable for her horrible actions.

Her mom messaged her things like "Why won't you talk to me? It's like you're trying to punish us!" Ect, just every fucking manipulative thing she could say, without ever apologizing.

Unfortunately the place we were staying fell through when my best friend's ex husband decided he wants a divorce and decided to throw in some transphobic hatespeach towards me.

We were all looking for somewhere to go.

I'm sure you know where this is going but listen, she told us EVERYTHING we wanted to hear. She told us she's not hateful now, told us she would go to trans support groups, pride, said she's realized how much she loves Jackie and it's time to accept her- and look- we had NO WHERE TO GO. We have 2 cats and at the time, a car that has no a/c or functional locks. AND I have a chronic autoimmune condition that I recently started taking chemo meds for. (Methotrexate.)

I'm too sick to be on the street, and survive. I had to think about me, Jackie, Zoe, and Boops.

And Jackie wanted to go..

I told her we'd be cautious and try to get out asap.

Well, looking for places right when the housing market crashed really fucked us up. That- and because I had only just finally got approved for disability, means I was set back in life- and had no credit to my name. No credit= no place to live.

I had almost built enough, but things went down hill very quickly with her family. Which leads us to right now:

After weeks of microagressions, giving us breakthrough covid cases, yelling at us to clean other's messes, and forcing us and our cats to isolate in our room, many broken promises, and straight up transphobic hatespeach (because she promised to get vaccinated but then said nvm as soon as we moved in and she went on vacation and got covid and gave it to us, which nearly killed me--) she said not getting the vaccine "IS A CHOICE, JUST LIKE YOU BEING TRANS AND TAKING *gestures to my testosterone* THOSE DRUGS."

We just were avoiding each other while I desperately try to gather resources for us to get out, NOW.

Of course, that wasn't good enough, so when her step father messaged her in all caps about our cats having to stay in our room and "I WON'T FUCKING TELL YOU AGAIN" my partner had a breakdown..

Her mom had let her step dad talk to her like this her whole life, basically.

Out of desperation, we went to her sister for help, maybe hoping she'd give us a place to stay for two weeks while we sign off on the lease for our new apartment.

She pretended to want to help and even said... something fucking weird? She made the comment that I'm a good person and I'm so much like her own boyfriend, that it's "scary"...

A few hours later she came to the house. She talked nicely to us, to gain access to our bedroom.

Then she attacked me.

I called the police right before, and was on the phone with dispatch when she lunged at me because she was aggressively trying to MAKE Jackie go into a separate room WITHOUT ME and Jackie was saying no, BEGGING her to STOP.

I wasn't going to let her take Jackie into that room. She looked fucking crazy.

All of the family came into our room, her two sisters, her mom, and her cousin- When they heard yelling.

It was actually me telling her mom that she's a terrible mother, that triggered her sister to try and attack me- although I knew she was planning on trying to from the moment she came into our room.

And that was after her mom was screaming in my face that if I have something to say, say it now.

Dispatch heard everything and sent emt as well...

But the police stayed outside, talking to them for a WHILE before even asking for us.

Her cousin is the only one that would have stood up for me, saying her sister never should have tried to hit me. But he was in the room with Jackie, giving her support...

I faced the cops alone.

He already had "that look."

He shined a light into my eye, letting the family stay on the porch, throwing insults and just letting it happen. He asked me where I'm hurt, and before I could even show him the scratches on my arm, he said "how do I know YOU didn't put those there?"

I wanted to fucking die in that moment.

This is a conservative city.

No one has equality stickers here. No one flies gay flags. People here that are lgbt- they LEAVE.

This is EXACTLY WHY.

I said "well is there any reason I should tell you anything when, clearly, you're already bias?"

I looked at the emts. I looked at his partner. I looked at all the lights and people coming out of their houses-

And behind me was her family.

Her sister that assaulted me, was laughing about having work in the morning.

All of them were looking at me, with hate in their eyes.

He tried to feed me bullshit about "well if I'm taking someone to jail, there has to be proof."

He dismissed everything I attempted to say, until I just stared at the ground and he decided he did his job here.

I told him my whole fucking body hurts because I had 4 people fucking toss my 100lbs ass all over the fucking room, which was a mess that he refused to look at.

He said "I don't see bruises."

I SPAT "BRUISES TAKE TIME?"

He retorted IMMEDIATELY- "YOU'RE NOT EVEN RED."

I asked what about the dispatcher- she seemed concerned- to which he said "you see, sometimes when people call us- they scream and be dramatic- for a quicker response."

I asked what we could do while the two weeks go by for our new place, and he fucking said "I DONT KNOW. BARRICADE YOURSELF IN YOUR ROOM OR SOMETHING."

Needless to say, we are now safe, in a hotel and I've gotten in touch with a few lgbt organizations that are attempting to help us get justice.

Unfortunately because it's a holiday weekend, all we can do is wait right now.

Our first order of business is getting a protection order, so that we can retrieve the rest of our things without her sister trying to attack us again. (I say us because she kept jumping towards Jackie, like she was threatening to hit her.)

I've been so gaslit and victim blamed that I was too scared to go to the er, even though this all happened in the midst of a flare, possibly including my liver health.

There's so much more to this story, as I'm sure other trans people can relate.. unfortunately.

The emts reluctantly offered to take me to the er, but I was like "and leave my partner here with them?" And he just fucking shrugged dude.

I hate this city.

I want out so bad but unfortunately I've committed to a year, but at least it'll be *our* apartment.

We could NOT stay there for two more weeks. Her step dad is a violent offender that has attempted to murder a homeless prostitute over some fucking pocket change- and he has a GUN in the house.

This hotel might run us into a hole, despite it being the cheapest, shittiest hotel in town, it's still going to be about 700$ for ONE week.

To ADD INSULT TO INJURY, SOMEONE ATTEMPTED TO STEAL MY VEHICLE WHILE WE'VE BEEN STAYING HERE.

I'm feeling incredibly paranoid and unsafe, but I'm on anxiety meds now at least and its SORTA helping us cope (My partner and I have the same Dr and she gave her permission to have some.)

The organization BRAVO is trying to help us with a hotel voucher, but because of all the natural disasters, it's hard to find room in charity for people like us, which is fair enough. We aren't immediately on the street, and for that I'm incredibly thankful.

However, if you or anyone you know wish to help you can donate to venmo: kittyzibby. Or you could just signal boost this.

If you can't help, I understand. And IF YOU'RE STRUGGLING FINANCIALLY, don't worry about it, for real.

Right now I'm just scared we'll go into debt before getting the apartment settled in.

I will update on things once our case moves along more, and we were already considering turning to OF sexwork before all of this, so if there could be support that way, maybe we'll get that going once we get moved in. That way, I feel good about providing a service in return.

Thank you so much for sticking with us during all of this. And really- we're doing much better today. We've given each other pep talks, but we are still determined to start our lives together.

Her family was merely trying to scare me away from her, but I got my girl's name tatted on me for a reason.

I know I'm not the bad person here.

Every time Jackie is feeling more gender euphoric, and showing me her changes, and seeing her get more confident, the more I know that what I'm doing with and for her, is right.

I love her so much. And I will never abandon her, like they tried to get me to do.

Jackie is taking a break from some socials, but she's given me permission to talk about what's been happening.

She needs justice too.

I will update as much as I can, but seriously, I think we both just have a fire under our asses now.

Mentally, we're stronger than ever.

Thank you for reading. My heart really goes out to the rest of the queer community that have experienced or are going through similar things.

It's really made me realize why we need to stick together and fight this bigotry bullshit! 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈

[linphd]

⛄️ CHRISTMAS DAY 3 ⛄️ katsuki x neutral!reader | scenting candles

katsuki bakugou x reader

gender neutral

Katsuki has enough of you smelling every scenting candle you can find in shops.

no warning

''(Y/N) ! We don't have time, hurry up !'' Katsuki growled, waiting for you to be done. ''I'm sorry, I really can't help it...'' you said, smelling the scenting candles left as fast as you could. ''Oh, that one smelt great.'' You said. ''(Y/N) !'' You hurried up, walking to your boyfriend now that you had managed to make him mad. Usually, when you guys had some time, he would actually let you smell everything. You didn't know why you had to do it, but it was a tic, you had to. But whenever you had to be quick, it was annoying him -you couldn't blame him, though.

''I know there are new candles everywhere because of Christmas, but we're already late enough.'' Katsuki said, as an apology. He knew you couldn't help it and deep down, he thought it was one of the cutest tic he had ever seen. Actually, he loved that so much that he had started to take notes of which scent you liked the best. You were living together, so you restrained yourself from buying every candle you loved. However, you were allowed to have 1 or 2 for your living room and your bedroom ; Katsuki didn't mind a nice scent in the 2 rooms he was in the most. Thus, he knew that you liked jasmine and candied apple scents.

What you didn't know was that he had noticed your favorite scents were the Christmas ones ; maybe because it reminded you of Christmas holidays and because they were well decorated candles. That's why most of the time, when you were smelling every candle you could find and telling him which one smelt great and which one smelt horrible, he was typing it on his phone.

You thought he was texting someone whenever you caught him typing, so you never suspected him to have a whole ass file about your favorite candles. He had noticed that your favorite smells were candies and fruits but 'they were making you hungry' and that you liked those 'nature' scents. However, you didn't like those that smelt like products you could use in a bathroom. He could tell what you were talking about, but he couldn't really explain exactly what it was -not that he really wanted to talk about it to his friends.

Talking about friends, everyone knew you liked candles. At your birthday, Mina had offered you a 'perfect pumpkin' and a 'vampire blood' candles from a casket. But they didn't know about your tic, except if they had ever gone shopping with you. It's not as if you could find those in any shop -even though they were usually present in interior design stores. And as you hadn't been living with Katsuki for a long time, you guys were still going there quite often ; so he knew those candles were everywhere.

''Yeah, I'm sorry ! I just saw they had some Halloween ones left and they were calling me ! They know they'll be gone in a few days so I had to smell them before they're getting replaced.'' You explained, making your blond boyfriend snort at your statement. ''But you prefer Christmas ones though, don't you ?'' He asked. ''Yeah, they have a lot of candies ! It's weird, because it's mostly at Halloween you're getting candies.'' You explained. ''What are the Halloween scents then ?''

It's not that he really cared himself about the candles ; but you always let him talk about his quirk for hours and listen to him, therefore he could ask you question about candles. ''It smells a bit like alcohol and most of the time they put some pumpkin in it. I don't mind though, it smells great.'' He nodded, now proceeding to checkout.

A few days later, while you were out with Camie and Mina, Katsuki was at the Christmas store that had just open now that Halloween was over. ''Did you keep track of everything ?'' Kirishima asked him, looking for candles. ''I kept notes. We'll be looking for candies first.'' Katsuki ordered his friend, who nodded. It was complicated not to look at every Christmas decoration ; your boyfriend knew you would adore that store ! Everything was Christmas ! Music everywhere ! A Christmas village ! They even had a giant talking reindeer head !

''Here !'' Kirishima shouted, Katsuki focusing on his mission to find some pre-Christmas presents for you. ''Candied apple !'' Kirishima said, smiling. ''No we already have that one in our bedroom.'' The red-haired boy looked at the prices. ''How many do you wanna buy again ?'', ''6 I think ? 1 for each room.'' The blonde replied, looking for nature-like scents for you.

Katsuki had hidden the candles from you ; he was waiting for you to be in the Christmas mood. Actually, you had gone to that Christmas store where he had bought the candles, but he avoided that special alley on purpose. Now that the tree was decorated and the whole house was red and green, he could finally show you what he had bought for you.

He waited for you to go to your parents', and he prepared everything while you were gone. He put a candle in every room ; the entrance, the living room, the kitchen/dining room, your bedroom, the bathroom and even in the room you guys were training. He didn't put any in the toilets, it was already expensive enough ! He had actually lighted them up a hour ago, so by the time you would be home, they would already have spread their scents.

When you came back home, you immediately smelt a nice perfume ; maybe he had cleaned everything, he liked to have a clean house. It didn't smell like a product, but surely he had used something that had a nice scent on purpose. ''Explosion Murder ! You heard me ?'' You asked, now closing the door. You understood he had heard you opening the front door when you saw him walking towards you. ''It smells good ! What is it ?'' He couldn't help but grin. ‘’Look around and guess.’’

That's when you noticed a tiny flame in the corner. You walked to it, and smelt it. ''Oh you bought a new candle, thanks ! It smells like candies, doesn't it ?'' He nodded, smiling at you being that happy only over a stupid candle. You looked at the packaging : 'ribbon candy'. ''Are you sure your quirk isn't the smell ?'' He asked, snorting at how right you were.

On purpose, he had closed every door, so the scents wouldn't mix. Then, he followed you to the living room, after blowing the candle at the entrance. You giggled and you noticed another smell. ''Did you buy candles for every room ?'' He laughed at how you had guessed already. ''Maybe.'' You laughed as well and walked to the candle : 'magical frosted forest'. You hopped to the dining room, excited to see what was the next scent.

''Oh that one makes me hungry ! That's why you chose the dining room, right ?'' Katsuki nodded. You blew the candle : 'vintage berries'. Then, you walked to the bathroom. It didn't smell anything like food ; Katsuki really had themes and stuff for the rooms ?! Scenting candles pro ! This one was 'winter garden'.

You noticed there weren't any in the toilets, but you still checked in the training room ; there was one ! 'Pinecone and tassel' this one was a bit particular, but you still liked it. ''Did I already smell all those scents already ? I feel like I remember them.'' Katsuki nodded. ''I know what you like overall. I wasn't sure about this one, but it smelt like nature. I thought it would fit in that room.'' You giggled, hugging him. ''Is the best one in the bedroom ?'' He chuckled. ''Yeah. I prefer the one from the living room though.''

You ran to your bedroom. ''Oh I recognize this one !'' You said ; this one was actually a scent you were smelling quite often. '''Cranberry peppermint' oh yeah I remember !'' You smiled at Katsuki. ''Are you happy ?'' He asked, a grin on his face. You kissed him, giggling. ''Yeah ! Thank you so much ! It smells so great !'' He snorted. ''You know that I actually took notes of your favorite scents and stuff on purpose ? It was hell with Kirishima to choose those ! There were so many scents !'' He explained.

''Were did you buy those ?'' You asked, confused. ''At the Christmas store. I avoided the candles alley on purpose.'' He laughed when you gasped. ''I promise I won’t light them up everyday.'' You said, and he chuckled. ''Thanks. You won't have to buy candles for at least 1 year !'' You gasped, chuckling right after. ''Are you joking ? It's maybe for 6 months maximum !'' His eyes widened. ''Bitch we've got 6 of them ! 6 ! Plus those 2 we still have from before !'' Then you guys started to play fighting because of those awesome pre-Christmas presents.

@babybakuu wanted me to tag her so here it is !

[bleepblopbloop56]

The Murder in the Dressing Room

Chapter 7: liar liar

Warnings: blood, death, emotional and physical abuse, implied past domestic abuse

Also on ao3

Special thanks to @pathos-logical who still, despite everything shes done, wont be listed as a co-writer 🦀 (the writing was done months ago, and shes been doing EVERYTHING since)

The sound of Logan's phone ringing shook him out of the daze he'd been in for hours, sitting on Remy's couch, staring at the yellow walls, and trying to think about anything that wasn't Virgil. He considered ignoring it, letting it ring until the caller gave up and left him to sulk alone, but he decided to at least look at the contact. Maybe if they were important enough he'd think about calling them back later.

But when he saw Roman's contact, his earlier numbness was replaced with urgency like a lightning strike. He picked up before he could think twice. 

"Hello?" he rushed out, but even that was immediately cut off. At first all Logan could make out was near-hysterical rambling- but then the words sank in, and so did the horror.

"He did it- Logan, Dee killed them, it was him!" Roman was shaking so badly it was a challenge to keep the phone in his hands. "Dee, he- he sent me a picture of- of the two of us together, he didn't want me to leave him- Logan… I don't know what to do," he hiccupped, voice cracking on Logan's name. Logan's previous grief-induced apathy had fled as soon as he had heard the call, but now heart was pounding, a lump caught in his chest like he was going to either puke or scream. 

"Roman, where. Are. You." Logan had always been a serious type, but never like this. Despite how often his line of work put him in danger, the life-or-death part of it had never hit quite this close to home. If his entire world was flooding, Roman was the only one with a lifeboat. 

"God, I don't even know…" Roman muttered to himself, pausing to glance around him and even his breathing. "Some shitty Holiday Inn? I'm not too far from the police station."

Logan had jumped into action the second he heard Roman’s voice, frantically pulling on his shoes and throwing on one of Remy's jackets that was hanging by the door as he stormed out of the house. "Roman, I need you to meet me at the station." He heard Roman sniffle and whisper a soft agreement, followed by the sound of movement. "And Ro?" The shuffling stopped.

"I love you… and we're going to get through this, okay?" It was easier to lie to Roman than it was to lie to himself. And it was easier to tell Roman the truth about loving him than it was to pretend that he was over him. Things were just easier with Roman… Everything was easier with Roman. 

"I love you too," Roman whispered, but it came out choked and broken, like it was all he could do not to cry. "I never stopped loving you, I'm sorry I ever left, if I just stayed with you then none of this would've happened- god, this is all my fault- "

Logan hushed him, starting his car and pulling out of the driveway without looking. "Everything's going to be alright, okay?” Keeping his voice steady was a challenge, but he needed to be strong, if only for Roman.  “I'll see you soon." 

--------

Roman wouldn't make it to the station. Hell, he barely made it out of his hotel room before a hand pushed him in again. 

And even if he did, he wouldn't have wanted to. 

------------

Logan went straight to his office when he reached the station, not bothering to greet the few people mulling around. Remy had been promoted to head detective on the case after Logan had dropped out, and Logan knew he’d been working late nights since. He must’ve been in Logan's office for hours now.

"Remy, I have the answer!" Logan began, swinging open the door with the kind of energy more typically associated with his partner than him. Remy didn't react, facing the board Logan had set up for the case. In the back of Logan's mind, it registered as odd that his head was lolling forward instead of leaned back to look up at it.

But that wasn't what made Logan stop dead in his tracks. No, that would be the blood that was absolutely everywhere- splattered across the walls, pooling at Remy’s feet-

Remy. 

Logan rushed over to look at him, only sparing the briefest glance at the sunglasses on the floor. But suddenly he'd never missed their absence more keenly on Remy's face than the moment when he saw Remy slumped in Logan's chair, quintessential glasses replaced by an all-too familiar mask frowning up at him. 

Through blurring vision and rising nausea, Logan took in the rest of the scene. The board, now covered in red from more than just yarn. The cold air coming in through the open window. Remy's torn baseball tee, so drenched in dark blood that not a speck of the original white and black fabric remained visible. The coffee cup, contents long gone cold, that somehow lay untouched on his desk. The missing picture of him and Patton on the desk, creased down the middle and scribbled on. 

In red marker were two crudely drawn masks covering Logan's and Patton's faces.

Logan felt his whole world come crashing down. He had been holding on to Remy's stability through all of this, and now that was gone. Remy was gone…

Remy Murphy was dead. 

Remy Murphy was dead

Remy Murphy was dead. 

And Logan screamed.

------

"Hello, Roman~" Ethan sing-songed. "Where do you think you're going?" He smiled, sweet as poisoned honey, walking forward and forcing Roman to back up until his legs hit the bed. Roman scrambled away from his touch until he was against the headrest, but Dee simply leaned over him. "How are you, baby? It's been far too long since we've chatted." 

"Dee," Roman choked out. "Please don't do this." He let out a violent sob when Dee grabbed his chin and pulled it forward, forcing their eyes to meet.

"Someone's been a little tattletale huh?" Dee smiled. It wasn't anything like his old smile. He'd used to smile like he owned the world. This smile said he was about to destroy it. 

"Gone off telling your little boyfriend about me, huh?" Roman shook his head, gasping and swallowing his sobs in an attempt to keep quiet. 

"LIAR!" Dee shouted, shoving Roman's head into the wall. Ignoring Roman's cry of pain, he continued, "Why is everyone such a dirty fucking liar?! Do you think I'm an idiot?" Roman was openly sobbing now. Dee's face softened, and he pulled Roman into a hug he was too afraid to pull away from.

"I'm sorry, baby, you know I didn't mean it" he cooed, petting Roman's hair right where his head had hit the wall. "Do you forgive me?" On instinct Roman nodded, hands balled into fists in the sheets.

Dee pulled back and kissed Roman's forehead, putting on a fake pout when Roman flinched away. "We're gonna go home now, alright? And we're not gonna run, or yell, or get upset, okay baby?" 

"Or what?" Roman dared to ask, but the question came out too breathless to have any real bite to it. "Or you'll kill me? Do it. End all of this, Dee. I give up. Kill me if you want, just stop this," he begged. "Kill me. And let them find me with that fucking mask on just like everyone else, but never fucking touch another one of my friends or family again." 

Dee stared at him for a moment, and Roman couldn't tell if he was confused or if he was contemplating if it would be worth it.

"Oh no no no, baby." Ethan ran his hands over Roman’s cheeks, gently wiping away his tears. "I love you, that's why I'm doing all this! I just want you to be with me." 

"Then what'll you do?" He clenched his fists tighter. He wanted to pretend it was to put on a show of bravery, but in reality he was trying to keep from shaking too hard, afraid Dee might notice and get angry. 

"Then I'll kill your little love bird! You're such a cheating whore sometimes, baby," Dee crooned, cradling Roman's tear-streaked face, "but you've had your fun now! And now we're going home!"

Roman tried to think back to the first time he met Dee, to remember if there were any signs to any of this when he had let himself get swept away by those initial promises and gifts. Nothing in his memory held any clues to how he would end up here, with three people dead and his soulmate's life on the cutting board. 

"Did you bring anything with you, sweetheart?" Dee’s soft hands petting over Roman’s face contradicted his eyes, alight with something more than poison behind them. Roman shook his head no- all he had on him was his wallet and phone. "Good boy. Now let's go. One hand on me at all times, alright baby?" 

Roman nodded, and held out his hand, trying to ignore the way Dee gripped down too hard, the opposite of Logan's gentle hands leading him to the car after the restaurant only a few days ago.

"One more thing." Dee stopped him as he was getting in the car. "Give me your phone. You don't deserve it anymore."

Roman’s breath seized. Dee had always let him have his phone. No matter the scolding and yelling about who he was talking to, the constant searches through Roman’s steadily dwindling messages, the deletion of social media and surrender of passwords, he was still allowed to have it. Part of him wanted to protest, to cling to his one link to the outside world- to Logan- but he was in no place to make demands.

With shaking fingers reached into his pocket and pulled out the phone, a cheap sparkling case barely protecting the shattered screen, the result of being chucked against the wall one too many times in one of Dee's fits of rage. Dee snatched it out of his hands and stuffed it in his pocket before starting the engine and pulling out of the parking lot.

There were a million thoughts whirling through Roman's head as Dee drove them to wherever he had been hiding, but for some reason his mind kept circling back to his phone. So small, in the grand scheme of things, but he couldn't help but feel he'd given up more than just that when he'd handed it over.

The murder in the dressing room taglist:

@cataclysm-al @theteenagetrickster @intrurality-fusion @katie-the-noble-fangirl @whizzie72 @grayson-22 @i-have-n0-idea-what-im-d0ing @winterwonderland7669 @missieluvsmurder @sign-from-god-complex @dragonindigo245 @angryfanboyscreaming @ninja-wizard101 @sombraookami @crystalistrappedintheinternet @imtooaromanticforthis @why-should-i-tell-youu2 @dragon-hair @satanblessi @spookilyfingergunsoutofexistence @skruffy901 @selectivereality @nonbeenary-enbee @imbasicallyshakespear @cats-vetal-miking-vomit @incoherentfangirl @oofmood @nonbianary-pineapple @royalnerd829 @unicornlogansanders @magma-llama

[punkscowardschampions]

Jude & Jac

Jude: [post rave] Jude: you can stop your 1 woman campaign now, freshers looks fun, I admit it Jac: That's why they give out free shit and throw these things Jac: convince people like you, good to know you've fallen for it 🎣😏 Jude: I'm convinced enough to crash Trinity's 😜✌ Jude: here on out Jac: good luck, jailbait Jac: the two years you've got left in school show 👶 Jac: you can't even grow unconvincing facial hair like the boys in my year Jude: nah they don't, why ma & da get so stressed every time I leave the house 💋👗👠 Jac: Predators enjoying the fact you think so is another issue entirely Jude: 🙄😏 Jude: can never just have a nice chat with you Jac: What do you need to chat about? Jude: what do YOU need to chat about? Jac: That was an...attempt, I'll give you that Jude: alright, here's the nudge, her name starts with S & last time she was ranked she was at like a 4 Jude: but I'm willing to bump her up in light of recent events Jac: You've reconnected and + 1 up, have you? Jac: That's nice Jude: taking a decent 📷 is good for a few points Jude: probs should lose 'em again when it's dad 👍 but whatever Jac: Very generous Jac: do appreciate you keeping your 👍 to yourself Jac: what do you wanna ask then? Jude: ikr I'm in a generous mood Jude: I'm not forcing you into a q & a Jude: I just think it's good you're mates again Jude: be a bit weird having her there & not Jude: some girl isn't gonna be there 📷 to turn her into a headless 👻 whenever shit gets awkward Jac: That your professional opinion, captain obvious? Jac: well, cheers for your blessing, like Jude: I could tell you were waiting for it so Jac: Clearly Jac: the little you think about has always been my GREATEST concern 😏 Jac: and she'll be up and over the 🌙 at her new score, of course Jude: all I REALLY wanna know is if she has a 🌾🐄 accent now, like? be honest Jude: it's still silver 🥄 yeah? Jac: Err, come on, it was NEVER Southside Jac: and even if it was, that'd count for NOTHING here Jac: so posh some of 'em it's a speech impediment Jude: so you're saying she don't fit right in with the 👸🤴 & qualifies as a bit of rough instead Jude: gutted for her Jude: her ma'd be even more 💔 wonder how she is Jac: That isn't funny, Jude Jude: not about her mum, that was well sad Jude: posh boys not thinking Sav is, is a bit though Jac: Have you ever tried engaging your brain before you speak Jac: not being completely insensitive should not be this hard for you Jude: ?? Jac: Don't ?? at me Jac: you say it's 'well sad' but you're the one that cracked a joke in the first place Jude: I didn't Jude: not about that Jac: I'm not pulling it from nowhere, it's still on my screen Jac: I don't think you realize how badly you come across half the time Jude: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to come across like a massive dickhead Jude: I think Sav's alright, I'm not trying to take the piss out of her Jac: Well it's alright this time 'cos you only said it in front of me Jude: be going a bit far to check in with her Jude: not weird at all Jac: you're saying I SHOULD put it past you? Jac: you are weird Jude: I'm saying I'm not about to say it front of her as I don't talk to her, am I Jac: doesn't mean getting into the habit of saying every 'hilarious' thought that enters your head out loud is a plan Jude: yeah alright Jude: fair enough Jac: Anyway, Sav isn't interested in any boys that look like they came from 🐴s not 🐒s Jude: 🤣 Jude: you wanna be careful saying 👦🏽👦🏾👦🏿 look like 🐒 but I get you Jac: She hasn't got a boyfriend of any colour so I weren't saying that Jude: I didn't reckon so, not unless she got a lad to follow her to uni Jude: but who wants that? Jac: Her ex was holding her back hardcore but he's given that up, thankfully Jude: he sounds like a right laugh & not at all like a prick Jac: That's boys for you Jude: 😜 Jude: when do they grow up? 40s or what? Jac: Have you met our father? Jac: never Jude: oh great Jac: 🤷 Jude: it's alright for you, you can get all the 🤓 lads when you're done studying or whatever Jude: least they'll be smart Jac: smart boys are worse Jac: they want to explain everything to you Jude: really? Jude: fuck that then Jac: dumb but kind are the lofty heights you can shoot for Jude: like a 🐶 Jac: yep Jac: loyalty too, forgo the collar Jude: yeah you're right that is lofty heights Jude: maybe when I'm 40, I can find a lad that don't need one Jude: stop him going over the road & 💔 me Jac: shitting where you eat is gross but convenient, that's boys Jude: 👍 Jude: Jess is so lucky he can pick a lad or a girl Jac: Most people are undesirable Jac: gay lads will only touch him if they think he's straight and that's their type Jac: and girls are a whole different beast altogether Jude: that'll be why he's so 😒 Jac: as a rule or more than usual right now? Jude: we all know why he's 😒 right now Jude: you pissed off somewhere more fun without him Jac: I think he's just fine Jac: and he did it first, every weekend, like Jude: speaking of, his latest gig was not the one Jude: so he's probably 😒 about that Jac: like, he was shit, the crowd weren't the right one or the equipment weren't? Jude: he needs a better 🎸 but that ain't news Jude: seemed like he didn't wanna be there to me Jac: Hm, a fight with one of his girlfriend or boyfriends then Jac: meant to make him better so he's fucked up there Jude: relatable Jac: 🙄 Jac: alright Jude: don't be 🙄 @ me Jude: your dating history ain't spotless Jac: I've never dated anyone so it is Jac: 📑 definition Jude: your hook up history then, you know what I mean cos me either Jac: I don't fall in love with them like an idiot, it's entirely different Jude: I fell in love with the one, who I was dating for a bit Jude: I'm not going about falling for 'em all Jac: Still did, didn't you Jac: I can't even remember any of mine Jac: nothing came into play but proximity and timing Jude: 🏆🥇 if you want Jac: take it over your 💔 obviously Jude: yeah Jac: 🙄 I repeat Jude: whatever Jude: I was stupid, it was ages ago Jac: you brought it up Jude: it was my mistake, I can Jac: not a sounding board for your whining Jude: alright, my bad Jac: used to you Jude: you've got your own room now, get over it, like Jac: unfortunuately, that doesn't stop us sharing a family so I don't think I will, thanks Jac: unfortunuately, that doesn't stop us sharing a family so I don't think I will, thanks Jude: it's a part time one for you now, don't have to see this face til 🎄🎅☃️🎁 Jac: Unfortunately, can stay over Spring though, but there's no catering in the Xmas hol 💔 Jude: 👎 - 1 point to St Andy's Jude: is Sav going to her mum or dad for the hols? Jac: better than home, get all my meals and room cleaned for me every week so Jac: literally only just got here, who's thinking about leaving Jac: some other halls you can stay, so maybe she'll find someone there, so she only has to do actual Xmas day or whatever Jude: me now, maybe I should bother going to uni if they're gonna clean for me Jac: only if you get into a good one Jac: and pay extra, hence most people are self-cater, but what else do I need my grant, loan and scholarship for, may as well Jude: 🤔 I hear you, that's unlikely Jac: you have time Jac: two years can change everything Jude: not my 🧠 it can't Jude: my concentration ain't there unless I'm doing 🎨 Jac: you could try harder, and you know it Jude: at what? Jac: concentrating on enough subjects to get you into a decent Uni Jac: you don't need every one, just enough to boost your points Jude: sounds easy that 😤😏 Jude: if I'm only in it for the 🧹🧺 🧼🧽 & I ain't 🤓 enough for one of 'em, ain't much point Jac: It's not about being nerdy or naturally intelligent, it's about being smart with the system Jude: yeah but it's probably also about going cos you wanna learn stuff & be there not just cos you wanna leave home for a bit Jac: most people never use their degrees, so you tell me Jude: that's true Jude: what subjects then? Jac: Depends what you want to do, Art in some form, assumedly? Jac: Fuck Irish and Spanish and PE, duh, knuckle down with your rest to up your points as much as you can then absolutely ace Art Jude: Alright, I'm decent at PE anyway Jude: that'll be easy points Jac: Exactly, no need to purposely fuck them up, but focus harder on the rest, especially the ones you are less decent at without trying Jude: please tell me you've left your notes here Jac: Of course Jac: under my bed, if you haven't lit it on 🔥 Jude: it's only been a week, gimme chance Jac: well, don't reckon they'll let you get a double yet Jac: I still need a place to crash in the holidays and it certainly won't be beside you snoring your head off Jude: might do if I steer clear of lads for a bit Jude: not that I've done half as much with 'em as everyone reckons I have Jac: People find shit to chat regardless, not worth paying no mind to, no more mind to stupid lads either Jude: I don't care if people don't reckon I'm a virgin still even though I am Jude: it's not like it matters Jac: Yeah, those people will all be irrelevant before you know it Jude: loads of people are well jealous of your uni btw Jude: reckoned you'd wanna hear that Jac: Of course Jac: x2 Jude: 😏 Jac: It's more of a flex than Trinity even, and only a handful of people got in there Jude: when did you work out what you wanted? it feels like you've been going on about it forever Jude: but like actually Jac: 🤔 Jac: I can't remember a point where it wasn't my plan, honestly Jac: more abstract when I was little and didn't have the titles and disciplines to put to it but Jac: I always liked murder mysteries and shit, what makes us tick Jude: right Jude: you love a true crime podcast Jac: 😏 Jac: but I'd rather deal with the living murderers than the corpses of their victims so Jude: well yeah Jude: 🦴🦷 bit gross Jac: 🧠 are much better Jude: long as you're not cutting into it Jac: I won't be Jac: if I'd combined biology, and gone that route Jude: I won't be either, tah Jude: science is proper hard Jac: Psychology has a shit load of it involved anyway, but I can blag it Jude: you're SO excited, I can tell Jude: 🤓💕 Jac: Of course I am Jac: it's everything I've ever wanted Jude: it's weird you're so far away though, it don't feel like you are Jac: Glad my prescence and now abscence had/have such a huge impact on you Jac: we both know why though so Jude: yeah Jac: it's different now Jude: good Jac: alright then Jude: give my love to Savannah, I know she'll have missed me Jude: that's the impact I have Jac: 👌👌 Jude: 😝 Jac: Do you really have a problem with Savannah? Jude: course not, I told you I think she's alright, it's just bants Jude: why does she have a problem with me? Jac: yeah, it's a massive grudge she took all the way to Sligo and back Jac: 🙄 Jude: you know what I mean Jude: has she said that I come across as a massive dickhead too or something? Jude: I don't wanna upset her, like Jac: you haven't come up a load in conversation, like Jac: oddly enough Jac: it's that Jac: she's like my girlfriend alright so you can't be a dick about her anymore, alright Jude: alright then Jac: is that all you're gonna say Jude: I won't take the piss out of her no more, like I said, I didn't mean it anyways Jac: you can react, you know Jac: it's big news on multiple counts Jude: it makes sense Jude: I get it now, why you were like that after she left Jac: Good Jac: I want you to know that Jac: don't change how it was, but still Jude: you could've just told me you rated her 10/10 Jude: is that why she left? like her family always seemed a bit off but I didn't think they were that bad Jac: I couldn't, though Jac: no, her mum wasn't coping Jac: as we all know now, and then the Isabelle stuff went down, so their dad stepped in Jude: yeah, but I mean, that's not part of why she slit her wrists, is it? Cos Sav doesn't need that to carry Jac: it was because the dad left and then took them, to put it as bluntly and without nuance as possible Jac: but that's all on him, not the girls, her mum isn't like blaming them, their relationship is getting better Jude: at least she was alright with you too dating then, nobody needs that dark ages mentality shit Jude: she's got enough going on Jac: well, she doesn't know about that yet Jude: but you were together back then, yeah? Jac: no, it's a new development Jac: as in, like, the other night new, no one really knows, I barely do Jac: things were complicated before Jude: oh okay, soz for backtracking so hard, I just thought Jac: yeah, that was the problem Jac: shit was assumed or it wasn't Jude: what a headfuck Jude: you're okay now though, right? Like the other night went alright Jac: I guess for context, before she left, I did kiss her and it went horribly Jac: I loved her then but she didn't and then she was gone Jac: I see how it sounded like pining there but no Jac: it's good now though, things have changed, we both have Jude: I knew something happened that night when you came back early, you were like a 👻 or like you'd seen one Jac: Yeah, that was what it was Jude: it won't happen again if things are different so Jac: not as bad Jude: I'm glad Jude: that this is the ending you get, cos it's not one, it's more like a beginning or whatever Jude: you don't have to be just excited for uni Jac: I know Jac: not that there's anything wrong with just being excited for Uni, tah very much Jac: whatever happens, I think we'll be able to stay friends this time so Jude: or you'll just marry her & have all the kids she obviously wants Jac: let's not get carried away, shall we Jude: 1. you never said I couldn't have bants with you still Jude: 2. there's nowt I don't know about her life plan, she talks LOADS Jac: You only have a problem with that because you want to be the one talking Jude: course I do Jac: it cannot be overstated how much I'd rather listen to her, is the point ❤ Jude: it'd be a bit rude if you were already like nah tah 🤐 it, babe Jude: probably don't do that Jac: That's your top tip and people really think you're not a virgin? Jac: Interesting Jude: it don't work out well for the lads who TRY it with me 😏 Jude: people reckon I'm not cos I'm that 🥇 yeah Jude: & cos lads have loads to say for themselves, most of which is bollocks Jude: but you're not a sounding board for my whinging, I remember Jac: 'Bants', dear sister, 'bants' Jude: 👍 Jac: anyway, I've got to go Jac: there's this variety show that is apparently hilarious, either actually or in how bad it is so Jude: & I've got loads of 📝📚📖📏📐to do if I'm gonna have my own freshers Jude: top quality entertainment like that, literally how could I not? Jac: sure you'll want to be in it yourself 😏 Jude: you're correct Jude: 👋 then

[fluidityandgiggles]

Sleep Is For The Weak - Chapter 10

Previous Chapters: Prologue, Chapter 1, Chapter 5, Last Chapter

Writing Masterlist - for previous chapters not otherwise linked, Read on AO3

Notes (I guess): It’s the moment you’ve been waiting for! Well... I hope so...

Yeah, it took me a month to get this chapter on the road, but... I can’t really be blamed. Well, I can, but let’s be fair, I’m in India right now, I have almost no wifi and I’m mostly relying on data (I ran out of data while writing this and now have to wait forty minutes to get data again... oops...), I managed to get The Schmuel Song from The Last Five Years stuck in my head out of boredom, and really I planned to update much earlier but sometimes... chapters get stuck.

I’m sorry I’m updating this late... I hope the fact that this is the longest chapter yet A N D that something y’all have been waiting for is going to happen will make it up!

As always, all the thanks to @broadwaytheanimatedseries​ for the original idea, to @whatwashernameagain​ for her original story and for being such a sweetheart, and to @winglessnymph​, @asleepybisexual​ and @anony-phangirl​ for all their help, even if it’s just listening to my ideas and giving feedback (you’re all wonderful and I love you so much!)

Tag list (sort of):  @bunny222​, @ab-artist​, @secretlyanxiouspersona​, @your-username-is-unavailable​, @virgilcrofters​, @why-things-go-boom​, @ilovemyspoopydad​, @violetblossem​, @maybe-i-like-the-misery​

(Wanna be tagged? Just lemme know!)

Trigger warning: period appropriate transphobia (the early 00s were not exactly trans-friendly). This chapter is a bit lighter, but keep this in mind.

—————

Saturday, December 21st, 2002

Christmas at the Harris shoebox was never that festive to begin with.

There was always some sort of rush hour-type boost in sales on and off-Broadway, or at least that's how David explained it to Remy when he was younger, so he would only really be home if he only had matinees or if, God forbid, Christmas (either eve or day) fell on a Monday. And Remy was always busy with school, at first with his program in Columbia and then his project at Bronx Science and now…

Well, now was no different. Christmas Eve was going to be on a Tuesday, next Tuesday to be exact, and Remy was too busy reading ahead in his psychology books.

India dropped him off in Manhattan on her way to Johns Hopkins. They got out a day early to go from Boston to Manhattan - Remy didn't have exams that day anyway - and stayed over at Remy's overnight before the second half of the ride. "They", of course, also included India's girlfriend Jenna, who was the one driving. She was a wonderful human being and Remy honestly couldn't believe he never met her before. It felt like they knew each other for ages! (David wasn't happy when two twenty-something year olds crashed on his couch that Sunday night, without warning, but Remy told him they're leaving first thing in the morning. He still wasn't very happy at that, but maybe going with it was the best option here.)

"You know who I ran into on my lunch break today?" Remy raised his head and took off his reading glasses (he was starting to need glasses for more than reading…) to look at his father, who - at eleven forty-five at night - finally got home from tonight's show. "Come on, ask."

"Who did you run into on your lunch break, dad?"

"Do you remember Michelle Tan?"

Of course Remy remembered Michelle Tan. She took chemistry and engineering and always looked down on him as if learning psychology made him less than her. Not to mention that when he showed up to graduation with short hair - his first step towards socially transitioning, really - she kept saying the nastiest things to him about how inappropriate it was.

"What about her?"

"Nothing, she just asked how you're doing." David threw himself on the couch next to Remy, taking off his shoes and opening his shirt in the process. "I said that you're doing alright and that your degree was going okay."

"Oh. Okay."

"...that's all you're going to say? Oh okay?" Remy pulled his shoulders. What else was there to say, really? "Thought you'd be a bit happier that—"

"Dad, Michelle Tan is the one who came to me after graduation and told me that short hair is undignified and that just because I think it makes me more of a boy doesn't mean that I am. Do you really think I'd be that excited about you running into her on your lunch?"

"I didn't know. I had no idea."

"It's okay."

David was working on a new show by Tony Kushner. He promised Remy that he's not going to spoil anything to anyone this time (though let's be honest, he said that about Dancing At Lughnasa in 1991, and Rent in 1996, and…). He stayed out late for the workshop, and barely had any time to care for himself. He never did whenever a new show started.

Remy could forgive him for forgetting stuff.

However, this neglect was absolutely and utterly unacceptable.

"Can you take a day off tomorrow? I mean, it's just the workshop, I doubt Eliza would mind it if you didn't come." David hummed in agreement. "So it's decided. Tell Eliza you're not coming tomorrow. We're gonna, like… do absolutely nothing tomorrow. We'll go somewhere fancy, like that diner on—"

"Since when are pancakes fancy to you, Remy?"

"Since I don't get to eat them anymore because I don't have time and I'm not using boxed mixes, thank you very much!"

"We can go to Hard Rock Cafe."

"Dad, Hard Rock isn't fancy. Sorry to disappoint. I just want to go to Times Square, to be honest…"

And then he turned on the TV and put a recorded episode of South Park. And Remy gave up. He went back to his book, to remember the teacher who made them read Oedipus Rex in English class, to get pissed at Freud who said that all men secretly want to fuck their mothers and called it the Oedipus complex without even knowing (probably) that Oedipus didn't want to fuck his mother but the moment he found that out he stabbed his own eyes out and exiled himself, accompanied by his children, which prompted the start of Oedipus at Colonus and Antigone.

Remy always felt bad for Antigone. But that was a personal issue.

——

"Remy? Remy! Hey, Remy, I'm here, and you're here, and—"

These sort of calls have been going on since about five minutes after David paid for their lunch and he and Remy started making their way to the subway back home. They started right around the… Martin Beck theatre? Yeah, around there. Remy was kind of scared to turn around and look who that is, until his dad told him to, so he did.

Emile was dragging his older sister and her dog behind him and he was getting really close.

"I didn't know you'll be here right now!" Emile's face was flushed, hidden under the hood of his fluffy mustard yellow coat. His glasses were covered in raindrops and all fogged up.

He looked absolutely adorable.

"Sweetie, what are you doing here?" At the hurt face, Remy quickly added "I'm just curious, that's all. Did you bring Mycroft too?"

"Well… no, I didn't. Mycroft stayed home. I can't bring him on holiday vacations. Our neighbors are looking after him, though! They're very nice and they're technically his grandparents! Well, kinda. I got him from a litter their bunnies had. It's a long story. And we were at the Man of La Mancha matinee just now! Julie and I have tickets to The Lion King at seven, and my parents are going to The Full Monty. It's a holiday tradition!"

Well then… hmm…

"Oh, you haven't met my dad yet!" Emile almost started jumping. "You have to—"

Someone tapped on Remy's shoulder. "I thought we're going home, not talking to cute boys on the street?" David asked jokingly.

"Hello, sir! I'm—"

"That's Emile, Dad. He's a friend. I told you about him. And his sister Juliana."

"But she's buying books so we're going to wait for her!" The tiny blond said oh so excitedly. He could never not get excited, it seemed. Remy loved that about him.

"What did you say her name was?" At David's raised eyebrow, Emile started jumping even more.

"Juliana! Yoo-li-a-na. It's Dutch, not English. She's named after our great-grandmother who died in Auschwitz. It's a really sad story, if I do say so myself—"

"Munchkin, we gotta go." The aforementioned woman who just got out of the bookstore grabbed Emile's hand and gave it a short squeeze. Her accent was even harsher than Emile's, but… Remy couldn't complain. He heard her speak before. He met her before. "Remmington, nice to see you again."

"You too, Julie. And Ladybug." At the sound of her name, the dog started wagging her tail quite happily. Remy never got to see her off-duty, but he assumed that this was the closest he'll ever get to.

"Mom and Dad are waiting. You coming or what?"

As the three went away, Emile waving goodbye quite enthusiastically and lending his sister a shoulder to lean on (Remy only recently found out why he did), Remy struggled to find the words to explain to his dad what just happened.

Thankfully, he didn't ask. Instead, David said "so that's your boyfriend, huh?", took his hand and pulled him in the direction of the subway. They still had to get home today.

——

Monday, December 23rd

"So we're staying here until… I think the fifth," Emile rambled on the phone. Sure, it was eleven thirty already, but… free minutes were more important than proper sleep schedules. Not that either of them had any of those. "After that were going to Missouri, my dad is taking me to Glore, you know—"

"I have no idea what Glore is.”

"It's a psychiatric museum. And after that we're going to California! To Disneyland, and then the murder museum."

Emile kept rambling about his plans, and he was so loud, Remy could hear his dad tell him to quiet down a couple of times. He was just so excited, and it was always so endearing…

"So what I'm trying to say is," Emile rambled away. "Would you like to hang out sometime? We could go see a musical! Like, umm… Rent! We can go see Rent! I haven't seen the new cast yet… I heard that Jai Rodriguez is awesome though!"

"I don't know… I can't really afford that—"

"Nonsense! What do you have me for if not for this sort of thing?"

"Remy, either you hang up now and go to sleep so you can deal with your grandparents tomorrow," David grunted from the couch, where he tried to sleep, "or I do it for you."

"Alright, boo, how about the twenty-seventh?"

"Sounds good to me!"

"Okay. Good night, Em."

"Good night!"

Remy didn't tell Emile that he actually saw Rent off-Broadway before. And… didn't exactly like it. Maureen, the only bisexual, was presented as promiscuous and very selfish (though that might've just been her personality, he had no idea, Jonathan Larson died before he could ask him) and Angel, the only character he ever truly identified with - a gay, genderqueer drummer who is HIV+ - is really the only main character to die, leaving the most wonderful and wholesome relationship in the show broken and sad and with a bad ending, while the horribly dysfunctional Roger and Mimi - both also HIV+ - got to have a happy ending.

And really, what type of bullshit was that? Gays have already been so villainized in the media, Remy did not need another one.

But he'd go. Just to be with his best friend. He really wanted to.

"Are you ready for the ride to Jersey?" David asked jokingly. Neither of them was ever truly ready for the six-hour (at best) long ride on the interstate to Red Bank. David's parents were, to say the least, terribly nosy and had no tact. Adding to that the fact that his cousin Gilbert (his aunt and her husband had a terrible taste in names, Remy decided rather early in life) wasn't going to come home for Christmas from his boarding school in Nova Scotia, also known as the only sensible member of the family with whom Remy could actually hold a conversation would not be home for Christmas…

This holiday was going to be a disaster.

"Ready as I'll ever be, I guess."

——

Tuesday, December 31st, 2002; 9:54 p.m.

Christmas was horrible. But Emile made it better.

This was how Remy described the holiday on his call to India on the thirty-first.

"What I mean is… you know the feeling when your family is just so bigoted and— yeah, okay, I'm sure you know that feeling." India laughed on the other side of the phone. It made him feel… strangely better. "So, like… my family are horrible, okay. My grandparents are, like, the worst. My grandma can't stop sticking her nose in everyone's business, and like, usually it's fine, it's not that bad, but last week my cousin wasn't home so she had more criticism to give to everyone else so she chose to pick on my sexuality, and like—"

"Pick on your sexuality?"

"She literally said ‘why can't you just be who you were when you were sixteen, you may not carry the family name but you will continue the bloodline'—"

"What twisted mind would say something like that?"

"My grandma, sweetie. This is my grandma."

India actually laughed at that. Remy could hear confused sounds from the other side, which he assumed belonged to that Jackson kid she talked about a couple weeks ago.

"Is she also the type of person who would say that Jenna is a nursing student because she's black and a woman?"

"I wouldn't put it past her to act like Professor McKenna. But anyway. So that's my grandma, and my grandpa is… he's deaf and senile. You can imagine what that's like."

India hummed. "Sounds like a fun holiday."

"Well, after coming back Emile and I went to see Rent. I still hate that musical but it was fun to watch it with him. And my boyfriend only called once like, three days ago. And I mean, rude much?"

"I'll bet. I got to talk to my psychiatrist, and… guess what."

"I'm scared of guessing."

"I'm gonna get my first doses of blockers and estrogen real soon, if everything goes right." Remy tried to avoid the tightness in his chest. "I know, I know… you've been waiting for this too."

"Is it weird that I can't wait to get mine but I'm still scared of when you'll get yours?"

"No, absolutely not. I totally understand. We all have a fear of change, peach. Some of us more than others. But it's going to be such gradual change that you won't even think of it, okay? It's exactly how I explained it to Jackson. Even when I get top surgery, which will probably be the most dramatic change, it's not going to be such a big shock. I promise."

India had to end the call rather quick after that. Apparently some doctor needed to talk to her about some stuff, and he could hear her grit her teeth before saying her goodbyes - the doctor called her "Mr. McGinty" - so it must not have been good.

He had a… sort of date, with Emile, at Times Square later. His sister was going to this bar in Greenwich right after the ball drop, so until then, she said she'd chaperone - as if they needed one. But Nathalie had some rules and stuff so they had to have her around, or else.

Whatever that else would be.

"Dad, I'm going out!" A hum of agreement came from his dad's room. Okay then…

Remy got his bag and his phone, sent a quick text to Chris wishing him a happy new year - he probably wasn't going to see it until Remy pointed it out to him when they got back to Boston - and left.

(He probably should check on his dad, but he was going to be alright. Two and a half years sober now, and he had his cartoons. He was going to be okay.)

——

11:57:11 12 13 14... p.m.

"I'm cold!"

"You're from Minnesota, Emile."

"I don't see your point."

Emile was wrapped in his own yellow coat and Remy's black coat (well, one of his three black coats; this particular one he got on a trip to Disneyland when his dad worked on the national tour of some musical, he already forgot) and was still freezing. How in the…

"Do you want to go to Starbucks and get a hot chocolate?"

"Is Starbucks even open at this hour?"

"There's one on fifteen hundred. It's open twenty-four hours."

"...okay, fine." Remy offered his hand and Emile quickly wrapped his arm around Remy's, allowing him to lead the way.

1500 Broadway wasn't the closest to the ball, but Remy was sure that they could make it there and back.

Maybe it was a bit of wishful thinking, but he was going to be an optimist this time.

11:58:28 29 30 31… p.m.

"We never told Juliana that we're going," Emile muttered through chittering teeth. "My mom is going to be so mad—"

"Emile, babe, calm down. We're almost there."

The huge building was already in their line of sight, and Remy couldn't feel happier. He could totally use a latte right about now, and Emile obviously needed a hot chocolate and a cookie. The poor thing was seconds away from becoming a human icicle.

He didn't want to be responsible for his best friend suffering from hypothermia, after all.

"You see that huge building over there?" Remy couldn't make out if Emile was nodding under all his layers or what.

"What about it?"

"We're gonna go to Starbucks in there, okay?"

"You're an addict, you know that?"

Remy didn't listen. So he liked his Starbucks, so what.

He dragged Emile behind him.

11:59:38 39 40 41… p.m.

The line was moving awfully slow for some reason. Remy had no fucking idea why so many people were at Starbucks so close to the ball drop…

Well, he was being a bit of a hypocrite.

"Can we get something to eat too?" Emile whispered to him, standing on his toes. The black coat from Disneyland was back in Remy's possession. The building was warm enough.

"Sure, why not?"

"Thanks, sweetie!"

Sweetie. Holy shit

"Schmuel would work till half past ten at his tailor shop in Klimovich," Emile sang to himself. Remy remembered that song very well. Norbert Leo Butz had a very… interesting way of singing it.

Then again, he never heard anyone else sing it.

He would ask Emile where he heard that song later.

"Forty-one years had come and gone at his tailor shop in Klimovich—"

"Ten, nine, eight…" oh crap.

Remy grabbed Emile's shoulder, shutting him up momentarily. It took just a couple of moments for either of them to fully realize what was going on before—

They kissed.

If there were fireworks they were blinded by the fluorescent lights and deafened by the loud cheers all around them, but they still kissed.

Kissing his blond was very different from kissing his boyfriend. Not that it felt wrong or anything, just... different. Nothing forced, nothing too overpowering. It was lovely, and sweet, and Emile was as soft as always. Nothing felt wrong there.

Not even the little voice that said that Chris won't like it. He wasn't there. He didn't need to know.

And so, they kissed.

——

Wednesday, January 1st, 2003

00:17 a.m.

"You saw The Last Five Years?" Remy asked, a cup of latte warming his rather freezing hands as he walked Emile back to his hotel (Juliana left them to go to a party in Greenwich Village).

"I didn't go to school for anything but my exams from mid-April. I saw that musical so many times, I kinda lost count."

"Oh, okay. Cool."

[existentialstatesofmind]

Opening Up

Clare: thought having a job equaled freedom because you got paid and back home, at least, it meant you were more likely to be able to buy a car or insurance if your parents gave you one. Not that she knew how to drive yet. “Yeah, my parents won’t let me make work commitments. School always has to come first. So it all sounds pretty good to me. Except for the kids who don’t get a choice. That might not be so good. If they’re forced to grow up too quickly and miss out on playing with their friends after school. Having more responsibility probably doesn’t hurt the older kids though. I never felt like I had enough. It’s like they don’t trust me not to take on too much.” Clare didn’t have any problem keeping up with extracurriculars. Hadn’t she proven herself to them yet? She nodded in agreement. There would still be plenty of classes for her take next year, she would just be bored more often and they’d mostly be with the seniors. Clare didn’t know what she’d do during her actual senior year. It came right back to what they’d been talking about. “I probably will get lost at school. Unless you draw me a really good map.” She chuckled. “I’m more worried about in the city. Navigating the public transport will be an adventure in itself. It’s a very good thing you’re going to be there.” Clare carefully listened taking mental notes as Kota described what their daily schedule would be like. She probably wouldn’t take the midterm since the semester was already in progress. “Really? You don’t think they’re familiar with reporters? At all?” Clare tried to wrap her mind around this new information. “Okay, I wouldn’t have much time to help get it going if I did. That’s very interesting. I kind of wish we picked our student president that way instead of it being a regular popularity contest. Though it would take away the fun of campaigning…” It was also a longshot that you’d get the best person for the job every time. “Guess Yamamishi will be a fountain of information.” She said enthusiastically. “Oh my god.” Clare laughed. “I hope you’re right about it working that way. Thanks for the warning.” ” She really didn’t like that kind of attention. Directed at either one of them. Feeling like she had to compete with other girls in order to spend time with her own boyfriend or worse to keep him would drive her crazy. Clare knew Kota wouldn’t purposely put her in that situation. “Her Roman Holiday and Funny Face characters are the most like me.” She said honestly. “Who knows. She may have kept them in a container. We had a big plastic doll house so there was no hiding that.” Clare wondered if she should’ve pointed it out. She didn’t want to embarrass him by making it into a big deal. However, she was glad this was Kota’s first ever (romantic) exchange of ‘I love you’s’. She couldn’t stop smiling. “No, I know. You just said what you were feeling. I wasn’t planning to say those three words either. We’ve only been dating a few months. But I meant it. There’s a difference between loving someone and being IN love anyway. Definitely too soon…” She changed the subject and was glad when Kota stopped covering up his face. Clare shrugged when he said they could go. She thought it might be better for Jill to get some rest. She bit her lip at the mention of that particular song. It was one of two of Melanie Martinez’s songs that she related to all too well. Her smile returned when Kota started singing the least negative part of the song. She felt safe and secure in his arms, listening to his voice so it probably would’ve been okay if he’d sung the chorus. Clare nodded and stood up. “Sweet dreams.” She whispered to Jill as she passed by the young girl on her way out of the room. She stopped when she reached Makayla’s shrine. “Bye Makayla, I’ll talk to you soon. Keep you in the loop about how the school trip to Japan is going.” Clare glanced at the picture of Makayla and Kota. It was so awful, Makayla was gone way too soon. She would be missing out on everything. She turned to her boyfriend and squeezed his shoulder comfortingly. “I’ll meet you at the car.” Clare whispered in case Kota wanted to say goodbye privately. She quickly walked out of the house.

Kota: looked at Clare when she mentioned kids not having a choice. "It does suck when they don't have a choice, but for the most part they do." he assured. "I have read manga where there were girls who had to work because their family members were in debt or they inherited debt after losing their parents." he added though he wasn't sure how often that actually happened in Japan. Kota chuckled at Clare when she mentioned him drawing a map for her. "I don't need to. I can take you to all your classes and Natsumi already said she'd take you to home ec while I go to PE. Just never take her to pick up Emi they will actually try to enroll her since she's only a few inches taller than Emi." he explained though he knew she'd get used to everything while they were there. Hearing Clare mention the city caused him to chuckle. "It's ok, I'll be with you or someone will that won't let you get lost." he promised and listened when she mentioned reporters. "They are familiar with reporters, but adult reporters not kids our age so wearing your press pass will just stir up a lot of commotion. Teachers pry us to ask questions about things we're unfamiliar with, I missed an entire day of school because a teacher was curious about how I came up with the idea of Murder Bunny, how Murder Bunny became iconic since it's bigger in Japan, and a bunch of other questions. I didn't get in trouble, but I missed club activities and had to do both the school work I missed that day and homework by the following school day or I would fall behind, then the next day I was in charge of a school meeting because that teacher felt it would benefit that entire school so it was basically me on stage with a microphone answering questions from the entire student body like I was at an interview and even Yamamishi couldn't get me out of that situation, no one was able to join me on stage. Unless you want to go through everything I went through I'd ditch the idea of wearing a press pass." he said looking at her, he wouldn't want her to go through the same ordeal he had to. When Clare spoke about the roman dolls and assured him about not having anything to worry about with the exchange of those three words, he smiled. He watched as she said bye to Makayla and Jill, though he knew he was going to do the same since he often visits. Luckily for him, he caught up with Clare before she was in the car and joined her. "Where do you want to go? I guess you could say I have a client here to pick up a few dresses whenever I'm free which would allow you to see the company and I could give you a small tour. I could also take you to TU, we can sit in on a class and you could get a head start on everyone else or we could do whatever you want." he shrugged giving her some options.

[punkscowardschampions]

Ava & Grace

Ava: Hey Grace: 👋 Ava: How'd it go with gym boy? Grace: 🤞 he's got the hint 👻 Ava: That good, huh Ava: how about the rest, you know, not boys? Grace: we so aren't here to talk about me Ava: Come on Ava: Give me some normal conversation right now Grace: !!!!!!!!! Grace: 100% not gonna be that bitch, talk to ME about what's going on in your oh so dramatic life! Grace: are you okay? Ava: Okay, okay Ava: I'll just come out with it Ava: no sugarcoating Grace: Duh 🚫🍫🍬🍭 Grace: it's not a cheat day Ava: 🤫🤫🤫 Ava: You wanna hear this hot, hot tea or nah Grace: obvs Ava: You'll be the least surprised so there's that Grace: 🚫😱😱😱 Ava: You know when you came here and then married guy couldn't come and then everything fizzled out? Ava: well, it actually did, for nearly a month Ava: but then he came back Grace: OMG Grace: it's literally the MOST 💖📽🎞 like FORGET before Ava: It really was Ava: remember when I got hit by that cyclist? Grace: that was so wild! OH was he the 🚴??? Ava: 😂 Ava: Imagine Grace: your otp Ava: But no, my parents were out of town Ava: and he came to the hospital, to make sure I was okay Ava: and he took me home and looked after me Grace: I'm like about to cry???!!! that's so Grace: 😍😍 Ava: Me too Ava: and of course, I had to go on Holiday like immediately after so that was shit but since then we've been talking and Ava: he's divorcing his wife Grace: I TOLD YOU HE WAS PURE Ava: I know Ava: and I'm sorry I had to kinda lie to you Ava: but I accidentally let slip I had talked to you and he freaked and that's why he first left so Grace: Oh please, if I filmed a storytime about this ALL the comments would be calling me out as #fake Grace: I get it Ava: It does sound pretty unbelievable Ava: even more so if I actually tell you who he is Grace: are you GOING TO???!! 😱😱😱 Ava: May as well, I've had to tell Nancy Ava: Parents and Buster to go Grace: Ugh! so sorry babes Ava: I couldn't tell you before 'cos they kinda know him Ava: knew him Ava: he was one of Buster's friends from School Ava: and his crazy wife is the main girl who bullied Nancy so Ava: that was fun Grace: Really?! wtf Grace: Chelsea is like Grace: so weirdly small Ava: That's why we call 'em villages, even though you're in a big city, the actual communities are ridiculously close-knit, for better and worse Ava: oh and Ava: make it weirder still Ava: you remember that boy from my party, Teddy? Grace: UM obvs I never forget a 💋 Ava: Well, that's his brother Grace: !!!!!!!!!!!!! Grace: do they look alike cos 🧸 is 😍😍 like 🙏🙏 Ava: Kinda Ava: [sends a cute photo he would've been able to send to the fake profile] Grace: oh Grace: my Grace: god Ava: I know Ava: 😩😍 Grace: did he edit his 👀??! I'm so shook 💙 Ava: No, I've seen them up close Ava: they're actually that unreal Grace: I can't even Ava: Guess what Grace: ?? Ava: He said he loves me Grace: NO WAY Grace: 😭😭😭😭 Ava: I know, I know Ava: I can't even Grace: so are you like a thing™ now? Ava: Yeah Ava: that's why I'm telling everyone Grace: Your parents are gonna be so Ava: Ugh Ava: it's going to be a whole thing Ava: with all of them Grace: mhhmmm Grace: like I feel like I know the answer but how did Nancy take it?? Ava: She just Ava: does my head in at the best of times and this was no exception, sadly Grace: at least Buster can't be telling ANYONE how to live their lives Grace: especially 😍💖 Ava: Watch him try though Ava: I'm expecting it though, they'll have to get over it on their own time Grace: 🙄 Grace: I feel that, Ri always thinks she can tell me something Ava: It's so Grace: IKR Grace: full offense babes I'm gonna listen to Janis before you & like no Ava: It's gonna be hellish but they can't do anything about it Grace: 🙏💜🤞 Ava: unless they do in which case bye and feel free to go through my wardrobe 🤷 Grace: duh Grace: but watch me also take your man Ava: 😏 cheek Grace: my crazy would look 😇 next to his ex's Grace: love that for me Ava: 'Til I haunt you crazier Grace: so scared obvs Ava: 😒 Ava: I only just got him, you can't be stealing him Grace: so sorry but like gotta get the full set on that fam now Ava: You better 🙏 my parents take it that personal Grace: 😇🙏💜 Grace: Jesus is totally my bae so Ava: and God's favourite son Ava: leave mine alone 😉 Grace: 😂😂 Ava: So you're not mad at me now, yeah? Grace: lowkey 💔 but not mad Ava: awh please Grace: ILY bitch you know it Ava: ily too 💙 Grace: & now I don't have to 👻💔 his brother so Grace: no way he'll be hitting me up after this Ava: Oh yeah, you're welcome for doing your dirtywork Grace: 💜😂💜 Ava: Has he hit you up then? 👀 Grace: 🤐🤐🤐 Ava: After I just poured my heart out? Ava: Rudeness Grace: you're in a 📽🎞💖 I'm in a 📽🎞😱 starring my crazy Ava: Girl, please Grace: I'm so serious Grace: & so over it Ava: You're not crazy Grace: I'm not not Grace: ask gym boy, but like don't Ava: I'm not gonna sleuth on you, don't worry Grace: if you had you'd see 🧸 on my pics hitting the 💜 Ava: Cute Ava: he must like you or he'd air you Ava: it's not unheard of Grace: like I said, thanks for putting that work in for me babes Ava: 😒 why not talk to him Ava: you don't have to see him 24/7 Grace: well duh I'm not about to move in with you Grace: but that's not why I can't Ava: ? Grace: he's like Grace: & I'm like Grace: It's not gonna be a thing Ava: You can't be friends? Grace: 😂😂 no Grace: that's as terrifying OMG Ava: 🙄 he is NOT scary Ava: though he is gonna hate me now probably so loyalties Grace: UM yeah he is Grace: he's nice & so I'm scared of him Grace: @ gym boy too Ava: 🤔 Grace: ugh whatever Ava: You're a nice person, you should hang with other nice people Grace: 🙄🙄 Grace: I've got friends he doesn't need to be one Ava: Okay Ava: not my otp, not gonna push that hard Grace: or ours its fine Grace: he won't be 😭😭😭 Ava: 'Course Ava: gonna have bigger problems to deal with, lbr Ava: 😬 Grace: yeah exactly Grace: maybe we can bond when the wife murders you but like Grace: black isn't my fave tbh can't 🤞 I'll serve my best look Ava: Funny 😏 Ava: she's actually 'out of the country' rn so you should probably watch your back 🔪🔪 Grace: you're so not gonna come visit me now you're 😍😍😍 are you? Grace: are you even doing holiday 2? Ava: time is getting away from us Ava: summer holiday standard Ava: it lowkey has not been organized so god knows now, I wouldn't be mad if it didn't but I wouldn't not go, I guess Grace: depends how they take your homewrecker status Ava: Yep, cheers 👍 Grace: people are shady Ava: Sure Ava: but my actual friend friends will know what's up Ava: everyone else chats about us anyway Grace: true Grace: shoutout to the fam for that one Ava: at least this one is something I actually did so Ava: oh well Grace: anyone who has a clue about his ex will know it's not even you Grace: like sorry hun you killed that 💍 yourself Ava: I'm not too fussed, it's my last year 💁 Grace: #priorities Ava: Exactly Grace: still so triggered by the idea of going back though thanks Grace: school is the WORST Ava: tell me about it Ava: won't miss that place Ava: Chelsea in general moreso but it isn't like I'll be a million miles away Grace: unlike me always a ✈ away Ava: Do you reckon you'll stay in Dublin? Grace: I guess Grace: where else would I go? Ava: You aren't going to make like Billie and Nancy and bounce then? Grace: being a or sleeping with models isn't very likely for me, babes Ava: Models are usually weird looking anyways Ava: oops accidental shade at your sister 🙊 Ava: don't tell Grace: thanks? I think Grace: shade her all you want, I'm about it Ava: How many times have you seen her kid? Grace: Like none Grace: we might get christmas but Ava: this family is messy Ava: watch me get lectured like it ain't Grace: preach Grace: maybe I shouldn't stay here Ava: you could stay or go wherever Ava: everywhere needs beauticians Grace: not Chelsea though, I'd run into your boyfriend's wife Grace: obvs can't escape anyone there Ava: 😂 truly Ava: I don't wanna be far away from the fam Ava: cracked as they are Ava: but that's just me Ava: I guess it isn't automatically selfish to move yourself halfway 'cross the globe hmm Grace: same though, I even miss Junie & like ?? why Grace: never saw him when we lived in the same house Ava: yeah Ava: that whole situation still fucks me off I Ava: idk Ava: I know it's not the kid's fault but I can barely even look at pictures of her Grace: Ri never should've done it Grace: like he didn't need a kid that bad Grace: obvs he didn't actually need one at all but nobody NEEDS one Ava: If they'd been together any amount of time Ava: Junior wasn't 20 fucking years old Ava: it was really stupid Ava: Buster said but oh well Grace: Demi is so Grace: I can't Ava: This family can't seem to help but add more fucked up people into its sphere Ava: like Ro hadn't just brought Drew back, AGAIN Grace: Getting pregnant by accident is one thing, like it's stupid but okay Grace: they planned that Ava: This family has way too many baby hangups dating back to nan Ava: can't blame her for all of this but break the cycle, someone, damn Grace: literally had my contraception on 🔒 since I was 13 thank you Ava: 'Accident' is some bullshit 9/10 times tbh Ava: you knew it was a matter of time, even if you don't know you knew it Grace: @ my mum & dad so hard Ava: and mine, they say the twins were an accident but they probably would've broke up if they hadn't have had them at that time so Grace: mhmmm Ava: ugh Ava: I'm just heated knowing how hard I'm gonna have to defend this Ava: like I've got myself pregnant Grace: don't even joke, she trapped that poor boy so hard like Ava: seriously, he probably never wants kids again Ava: not that I've asked because it's been like a month or so and I'm not psychotic, thanks Grace: do you? not now obvs Ava: I don't know Ava: like, don't tell my mother but I don't actually meticulously plan every aspect of my life Ava: if I ended up at a place and time in my life where it felt right, I could see it Ava: but if I ended up living a different life where they wouldn't fit, I wouldn't and I wouldn't be 💔 about that Grace: 😂🤐 Ava: Do you? Grace: girl, I'm too freaked out to let a boy date me, I don't think it's gonna happen Ava: you won't be 16 forever Ava: and if Ro can manage it Ava: your mum and Drew are probably the only people to see her vaguely undressed in her life Grace: idk sometimes it's all I want & sometimes it's the WORST thing I could think of Ava: I get that Ava: I don't think its a thing you can overthink, 'cos it's not usually right or wrong Ava: so people just do it and have to deal, better or worse Grace: Yeah Grace: maybe I'll get like that with dating Grace: or you know, get so lonely that I won't care that people always leave Ava: 😔 Ava: You'll get there, whether there is living your best life with or without Ava: I'm defs getting left after this fiasco so I'll come 😭 to you in a few no doubt Ava: we're walking Frank rn, so gonna enjoy this whilst it lasts 👌🥰 Grace: UM no! He LOVES you remember, you'll come at me with your 😍 more like Ava: 🤞🤞 Grace: 🙏💜

[punkscowardschampions]

Tommy & Ali

Chatting ‘bout Christmas, boy troubles, pregnancy AND THE FACT THE BABY IS TOTALLY NOT DREW’S LOLLOLLOL

Tommy: Oi! 😼 What you gettin da cos like even I feel cheeky considering socks for 2 years running Ali joined the chat 3 hours ago Tommy: I was gonna go full rivers of whiskey cept I'd probs drown myself in it before the bottle was in the bag 😂 Ali: So you should, elf on the shelf! Socks should only ever be an add-on prezzie, even if they're DEAD comical, like. Ali: Speaking of elf on the shelf, would you be willing to come round mine every day at the crack of dawn (aka JUST before the kiddos will arise like horrible demon krakkens from the depths) so I can arrange you in comical positions and situations? Ali: They love that shit. I on the other hand want to murder the CEO of whatever company/the high-key mum mafia that made this shit popular again. Ali: I've got me thinking cap on for the old man for ye...Hmm Ali: (and how rude to get cuffed for the season and not even get to the part where you get a bomb-ass present/someone to tout around the family functions...rude. You not actually at the bottom of a bottle quite yet though, yeah? Doing the obligatory welfare checkup here) Tommy: Excuse you miss money bags! 💰 just 'cause you're one of the rare artists who ain't starving like! some of us don't have boyfriends who cook or paying audiences Tommy: so yeah obvs! Gotta keep in shape just in case don't I? catch me pirouetting across your patio bitch Tommy: Green's my colour these days and red's always been signature Tommy: I'm alright (love you for asking!) how's you? Tommy: Genuinely Ali: Oh yeah, 'cos father will flip his shit if the price tag ain't AT LEAST three figs... 😏 Silly billy, and oi, oi! My student loan ain't kicked in yet ...I'm on a gap yaaaaaah though, darling, I've simply GOTTA act like a frivilous rich bitch. Deal with it, you're still the shady bitch of the fam, okay? 😘 Ali: Yaaasss, you're gonna have to drop a couple of pounds to fit in that teeny costume but a day in the life of a TRUE star init, babe? I believe in you Ali: Bet you didn't come here to be called fat, did you? How fucking cheeky is that forreal Ali: Colour of luck boy 🍀🍀🍀 Ali: Hmm, ngl I'm in a bit of a...situation, and I ain't talking I've forgot to order a turkey Tommy: Imagine...jog on old man just 'cause went for the quantity with the sprogs doesn't mean you'll get quality back soz Tommy: try it but good luck trying to get your little uns to deal with you being the spoilt one 😂 Tommy: well since I got the 🍀 its 🤞 Tommy: feckin hell has caleb forgotten kids are for life not just chrimbo again? Tommy: I'll deck his halls if he's being a prick Ali: That'll show him! That's what you get for bringing me into this world, whole lotta backchat and not an ounce of grattitude, take that! Ali: Join me 'cos I'm sure that's what mum feels I've got her Ali: We did Rio's first Xmas morning, and 2nd, at home! It really is Caleb's fams turn Ali: I can't help that its Junie's first, evidently I ain't planning this shit woman! Ali: #contraceptionwhomst? #pulloutnhopeforthebest #itswhatgodwouldwant Ali: And it ain't like we're not coming over for a second dinner, we fat as hell, get wid it and pass the gravy Ali: Catch me in the tesco throwing tantrums with Rio on the reg tbh #twocanplayatthatgamehoney #childrenraisingchildren Ali: Nah, although loving all the macho threats of violence when my honour is at stake as of late...Is my drama letting you live up to your full brotherly potential? Welcome... Ali: TMI, give a shit, but I'm late on and I've thrown up a few times, not from the mother's ruin, like Ali: hahahahahama'sgonnakillmeisn'tshe Ali: whatthefucklike Tommy: Who you kidding you're the blatant fave & lbr if the lord's got his specs on should be even more so for following her shining example like Tommy: honor thy father and mother and all that Tommy: who doesn't love a mini me Tommy: especially one who can sing every sperm is sacred with perf pitch Tommy: Amen! this aint 1850 pass the roasties gdi! Tommy: all we want for christmas is carbs Tommy: OH MY CHRIST NOT AGAIN Tommy: 😧 Tommy: I know you're on your gap year but no need to be so literal Ali: Ha, please! Not Tess Vickers' fave. Da's, obviously, as he is mine, (babe). You and Joe are the momma's boys, always have been, you needy little babbas. Ali: A woman who doesn't love herself...damn, too deep, reverse, reverse! Ali: You'd be surprised how annoying an all-singing-all-dancing constant reminder of all your best and worst bits is Ali: Usually the best, which is happy-making magic, but when its the worst...GOOD LORDT. Plus its a reminder of the same in your other half, and we all like to overlook that shit now, don't we? *sips tea* Ali: God I am gonna go HAM with my 'cravings' this Chrimbo...what timing! Maybe I did plan this after-all Ali: but no, I did not Ali: But yeah...this is a thing I'm processing, thought I'd drag you down with me 🤷 Tommy: I was gonna be all like not with him probs dead in a ditch and me one audition away from getting cosy in a cardboard box but I better swerve too dont wanna spend the season with the samaritans on speed dial Tommy: you and fraze are the success stories savor it Tommy: honey I've got a mirror Tommy: and near constant feedback from them in the know Tommy: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Tommy: that's calebs chrimbo gift sorted then yeah? Ali: Lordy, I know we're Irish but there's no need to be that fuckin' maudlin, Tommo Ali: Oh, you wanted an idea for Da but that is SO Fraze's prezzie Ali: Just tell him that, all day. Money can't buy that kinda happiness Ali: The spirit of the Holidays Ali: Them in the know don't know shit Ali: I mean...gift or curse? Ali: We've only just got back on track, this is probably going to derail the whole damn caboose Tommy: everyone's a critic and there's only one shane macgowan I hear ya Tommy: I reckoned you meant a mirror for a sec I was like uh huh he's got that one covered love 😏 Tommy: Hey! That's mine covered 🙋 just repeat that back to me Tommy: those clueless cunts Tommy: Nah he'll be buzzing esp if he gets another girl Tommy: there's only one Rio but he's shameless ha Tommy: leave the cursing for ma she'll be doing plenty once she's done stuffing your stocking with contraceptives Ali: Mhmm, save it for the improptu karaoke when we're all feeling merry on the day, like Ali: Lmao, he'd live in a 360 degree view changing room if he could Ali: How millenial of us! Lets just gift each other with positive affirmations Ali: Maybe...Gah Ali: Whatever, whether he deals or doesn't, doesn't change the fact I am with child again and yeah, Caleb's reaction is the least of my worries Ali: I'm going to be going to Uni abroad with 3 kids...damn Ali: If I don't get locked away for my own good, of course Tommy: 😇 Will do Tommy: I reckon that's the goal when he 'makes it' Tommy: scrawl it on my personalised starbies cup and have done babe Tommy: You're grand it'll just be one hell of a plane ride Tommy: 🍀 & 🤞 Tommy: OH SHIT WAIT Tommy: the whole Caleb reaction thing has me thinking...not to be rude but Tommy: it is his yeah? Ali: It better be Ali: Aside from the Drew incident I didn't shag anyone else Ali: and we used a condom Ali: I mighta been several sheets to the wind but I hadn't lost my whole goddamn mind Tommy: thank christ for that Tommy: imagine trying to play happy families with that twat Ali: Amen Ali: Yeah that isn't the life I've signed up for Ali: Bitches forget I already got a ring on my finger, like Ali: Legal or otherwise Tommy: Beyonce is here for your union Tommy: good enough for me Tommy: low key proud of ya not to be an enabler but like Tommy: I'll happily hooray you getting Drew to put something on it too god knows where that fuckboy's been Ali: Thank you! I will take that hooray because I literally had to mum Ro's arse and tell her to do the same every time Ali: AND had to do it in such a way it didn't sound like I was saying as much, like, your boyf is a cheater and we all know it sweetie Tommy: ugh 😷 glad you did though I hear your next door nemesis had to get herself to the clinic sharpish & i don't reckon she'd spread gossip that'd make her out to be riddled Tommy: 🦀🐛 Ali: 🤢😤 Unsurprised on both their behalf there but low-key furious Ali: he knows how that bitch treats Ro, and always has done Ali: there's being a cheat with any random hoe and then there's that...is it me or is that next-level careless? Ali: To the point it looks like he's doing it to hurt her, I'm sure he's just ignorant but, like, what the fuck?!!? Tommy: RIGHT? Tommy: like I don't doubt she ain't telling him all the ins and outs of her childhood drama but still Tommy: even with more brains than biceps he's gotta have a clue or two Tommy: OOOPS ACCIDENTAL COMPLIMENT Tommy: I'm offended on my own behalf Tommy: almost as cringe as once thinking he was hot 🤓😳 kms Ali: Yeah but it ain't like he's not been here...and she's still a cunt to Ro now, so Ali: Tries to be to me but who's listening, Bitch I'm deaf all of a sudden??? Ali: Hahahahaha Ali: He's attractive, to the point its kinda fact more than opinion so I don't think you're alone on that score Ali: If the notches on his bedpost are anything to go by...and I fucked him so can't be judging, consider your sins absolved, no hail mary's needed, maybe a few bloodys when I next pin u down for an IRL debrief? Ali: Oh wait, a bitch can't...I'll make it a Virgin Mary...WHEY! Tommy: True and I know he ain't got a bitch muted 'cause I aint rn either 👀 & my specs are on when I'm scrolling Tommy: I see what I see Tommy: 😞 Tommy: Fuck it lets go dancing Tommy: bounce that bump while you still can Ali: 'Course not, gotta 'low the bitch to slide into dem dms on the reg, if for nothing else than the ego boost Ali: 😒 Ali: I need that, lets go lets go lets go, its been TIME since I got to go out and not take the bubs Ali: I'll have to see who can have 'em though... Ali: Can't be mum, really selling how responsible a parent I'm gonna be to 3 by throwing 2 at her and fucking off to partay Tommy: SAMSIES...not that I'm going out with 2 kids on the reg but y'know Tommy: we on it 💃 Tommy: Dial up their daddy Tommy: he'll step up while we step out I'm sure Ali: Sure, just the one, like #oosh! toosoonforbants? Ali: Can but try, I'll get back to you when he replies Ali: Ooh, what are we gonna wear Tommy: I've got my elf cossie if I can only squeeze in Tommy: you could pin a red letter on if you've got something that won't clash 🤔 own that guilt like a good catholic 📿 Ali: Ooh, festive AND appropriate for my situ, I like it. Tommy: A for advent sweeties 😘 Tommy: can you cut my hair though I looking like the grinch if he was a blonde blue eyed dreamboat Ali: And Awesome! And Ali! And Ass! 😎 Ali: Obvi, you never could rock the long hair look, remember that dark period in time 😂 Ali: Can I try something slightly new tho? 🤔 Tommy: why the feck not gotta at least look ready to mingle like Tommy: 💔😂 Ali: Dubo not gonna know what's hit it and ya mans gonna know what he missing when I'm done with you! Promise Tommy: I'll hold you to it Tommy: no pressure Tommy: oooh maybe we could go shopping 😀 Ali: You know I'm winning boys back like its my business Ali: well, boy singular but that's enough, right? #greedybisexual Ali: I am always down for killing time snapping up killer #lewks, lets do it man Tommy: yaaaaaaaaaaas Tommy: careful I might hold you to that too #tipsfrommybabysiskms Ali: baby be wise tho 💞 where u at i'll come get u Tommy: about a lot of things yeah 👍 nws I'll come at you I need the exercise #aintforgotyoucalledmeafattylike Ali: alright well, RUN FORREST RUN Tommy: 🏃