#I'm horrible I know but who If not me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nadiajustbe · 4 months

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Not me writing a song for a musical that's a) doesn't exist since 2017 b) have never seen a musical in my life c) having English as my second language

(I do)

#hmc #hmc book #howl's moving castle book #howl's moving castle #howell jenkins #howl pendragon #sophie hatter #michael fisher #calcifer #I actually already have another one for Megan but tssss #I'm horrible I know but who If not me

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lazylittledragon · 8 months

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can't believe we're all adults being forced into the club penguin level of censorship in 2024

#ramble #if you say unalive in front of me i will personally kill you with my hands #you just can't muffle and censor and hold someone's hand through some things #some things are horrible. and they should be spoken aloud and they should upset you. because they are horrible #the second we started kidzbopifying the world was the end of taking anything seriously i think #i'm not even joking i've spoken to people older than me who won't even say the world sex #this isn't the playground you're not going to get in trouble just let us say the word!!!!!!#how am i supposed to listen to you when you won't even say the thing you're supposed to be talking about #yes this is the fault of the platforms with their censorship rules but the fact that we all just go along with it like it's not dystopian #you do know it doesn't stop with cursing right. people are already having to censor queer terms because they get flagged as inappropriate

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shinybulbasaur · 3 months

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Rules: Make a poll with five of your all-time favorite characters and then tag five people to do the same. See which character is everyone's favorite!

I was tagged by @suddenrundown, thanks for the tag! I was so tempted to put "eliot's baseball hair" but I resisted (also polls don't allow strikethroughs. sad). tagging @michinaranja, @vero-niche, @acidmatze and anyone else who wants to play!

#does bulbasaur truly count as a character? irrelevant. he is my boy i can't not include him #and judge me all you like for vriska but she's been a favorite character of mine for over a decade now #she means so so much to me. my horrible problematic daughter with so many problems and crimes to her name and also a spider theme #what more could i want! i'm kinda sad i don't talk about her as much anymore but she's always there. in the corner of my brain #anyways i know i don't talk about the apothecary diaries as much either but this is a formal recommendation to everyone to go watch it #it's literally about an aroace with drug autism. i feel so seen #i tried to get a decent spread of characters so honorable mention to tsukishima haikyuu and mithrun dungeonmeshi #who got cut so this list wasn't all anime because i don't talk about them much despite the brainworms sldkjfsl #i also kept it to just one character per media cause it made it easier to keep myself to just five lsdkjfslf #otherwise it would be half the cast of trigun and half the cast of leverage and-

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ruporas · 2 years

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post ep 11

#trigun stampede #trigun #meryl stryfe #nicholas d wolfwood #vash the stampede #i cant even elaborate on this episode bc ive spent all day Thinking about it yesterday #and it made me Miserable #i just want to see vash have some autonomy again...#he is a little bit more on the quieter end for stampede as less angry about things but i dont think he's more of a coward in stampede #even though he was transported into his memories and saw and heard those terrible things from the kids and wolfwood #he was able to gather himself and keep going #his resilience has always been the strongest and also saddest thing about him #so it killed me irreversibly when he lost the one person who he could always look back to reliably #the fact knives couldnt even alter anything in rem's dialogue within those memories just stands for how strong her place is in vash's memory #and potentially knives just knows that would be too ooc of her to make in any Universe if she had something horrible.#man. I TALKED ABOUT THIS IN LIKE ALL 3 PLATFORMS. I'm alright with Knives as a character but jesus #- i did it all for you - im so sad that vash had to hear something like that. im so so sad about it #anyway i hope meryl stays safe shes done so much #i love her so much <3 #ruporas art

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softiedingo · 9 months

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HELP HELP HELP-

#ao3 #IS DOWN AGAIN OMGGGG #it's a horrible feeling to see your biggest fear come true #i'm SCREAMINGGGGGG #i hate when this happens #i don't know who i am without my nightly dose of angst before bed 😭😭😭#let me iiiinnnn #im 😭😭😭😭😭

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colorful-bees · 6 months

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Volo's friendship story in the Trainer's Lodge is so interesting to me because it seemingly contradicts his usual way of thinking. He asks to take a commemorative photo with you in the event that the world disappears, obviously referring to what he wants to eventually accomplish in the future.

And I can only wonder why he does this. His exact words afterwards are, "Please remember me as you've seen me during our time together." He plans on erasing the world to build a better one, as per is goal in P:LA but the idea that he would want you to remember him as you knew him, someone who was simply friendly and nice to you, goes against how he views relationships with people. There's no transactional value to taking this photo with you nor is there for him wanting you to remember him fondly.

Volo is overly nice to people to get what he wants out of them, that's kind of his thing. You see it with the protag in P:LA, you see it with Jacq and Trevor, and later with Lear in the Mysterious Stones chapter. He likes to get in people's good books so that he might get something out of it later. But what does he want out of you in this interaction? What is he hoping to gain by telling you to remember him the way he is now? He plans on destroying the world and so... he asks to take a photo with you? I can only imagine that he wants it for himself since if the world disappears, you won't even be there to remember him in the first place. He plans on destroying the world and you won't even be there and yet, he still asks you to remember him.

I don't think Volo necessarily lied when he said, "It's just a matter of using them before they use you." Those were thoughts inside his head, he has no one to lie to there; that's what he truly believes. However, I do think there's a disconnect between the kind of person Volo is and the kind of person Volo believes himself to be.

I think maybe he does love his Pokemon, maybe he even wants to be your friend. I don't think he knows that though. His genuine view of himself is that he feels no love or care for others and relationships are just a means to an end and that is mostly how he comes across when showing his true colors. But he has moments that don't quite line up with that. He wants you to remember him fondly. He considers Pokemon tools and yet, there's that photo of him and Togepi. It's these two moments that make me question things. He looks after Togepi and in return, Togepi sticks by his side; that's their trade-off, what they both get out of their relationship. But the photo is what throws me off. If there wasn't even a little bit of love for Togepi, why does that photo exist? Why did he take it? Volo in this same conversation says, "Photos are wonderful things! They allow you to capture and isolate the best moments!" Why take a photo with something you don't love? Why consider that one of your "best moments?"

Volo honestly believes that he doesn't love his Pokemon and that he's no one's friend. That isn't a mask he's putting on, that's who he thinks he is and I can only assume that the reason for this is due to whatever event happened in his past that set him down this road to begin with. But he has these small moments that contradict that view of himself. Volo does have a capacity to care for his Pokemon, to have friends. I just don't think he realizes that. He's incapable of recognizing if he loves or even likes someone in a genuine way; so caught up in viewing every relationship like it's a barter or a trade that he has no idea that he can care and that maybe, at some points, does.

#hi these tags are long as fuck so just warning you #pokemon #pokemon volo #this friendship storyline gave me so many thoughts #these are not the words of someone who doesn't like you at least a little bit #what do you mean he wants us to remember him like that?#why? we won't even be there for it #and i'm reading a little too much into this so that's why this is in the tags #but it almost feels like an apology of sorts?#he knows he's going to reveal himself to be not as kind and helpful as he leads everyone to believe #and that will obviously be upsetting #but why is he telling us that that's going to happen? why give us a hint towards his true nature?#also the least important thing about this i just thought it was fun #it reminded me of the end of the pacifist route in undertale #when asriel asks frisk to remember him as the friend he was to them in that moment #and not the horrible monster he was and would eventually become again #so yeah not very important to anything i just wanted to get that thought out

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front-facing-pokemon · 8 months

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#something is very obviously different about these two compared to my normal images on this blog. i acknowledge this #also the sv model is Really good. and since they always stare straight at the camera anyway… and no one pays attention to the background…#and the only high-quality phantump model i could find was so horribly shiny that its eyes were just white voids #in my defense‚ phantump always just stare straight at you in game #the lighting is different‚ yeah. that's probably the dead giveaway. beyond the background. but like. i'm the only being on the planet who #really likes phantump anyway. i feel like it's a generally forgettable pokémon to most folks #phantump #HELLO this one is a weird one. i have some explaining to do. so when i did this one i didn't know how to edit models really at all #and when i got the models for these‚ the xy models were super shiny. shiny to the point that it made their eyes fuckin invisible #and i decided that since you could barely tell it was phantump‚ i needed a different way to get these images #i remembered that in the SV dlc‚ every time you find a wild phantump‚ it just fucking. stares. at you. and i was like. aha #i kinda remembered because of the test stream that i did. tumblr user alligayytorr (am i getting the right amount of Ys) said #“haha i am getting a sneak peek” when i zoomed the camera in on a phantump. and i remembered that. and i was like. i can utilize this #and ended up using just an in-game screenshot of SV in replacement of the regular content. later on‚ after that #once we got into gen 7 and it became less and less reliable to find models‚ i had to learn how to edit them manually to remove the shine #i am a software dev. not a 3d modeler. this ended up coming down to editing the code of the models directly (which i ended up writing a #script to automate). now‚ today‚ january 22nd (the day of me writing these tags and updating this post)‚ i remembered this post was in the #queue and was not normal. so i went back‚ ran the script on the phantump and trevenant models‚ and unshinified them #then edited these two posts to be normal. i have left the original pictures i took under the cut for reference and as bonuses #because i really enjoy phantump. so that's why those images are there‚ and that's why these tags are here #just for posterity's sake‚ the folks who come here mostly for my commentary‚ i've left the ORIGINAL tags of the post when i initially #made it with the SV pictures up at the top (i wanted to rearrange them‚ but tumblr makes that Very difficult‚ so i left them as-is)#so if these tags are confusing to read i Apologize. but i hope now that you're at the bottom you understand what happened #i'm gonna go edit the trevenant post now

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uncanny-tranny · 10 months

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Something I think ought to be more readily-available and encouraged is simply... taking parental classes. I wish it were more common for people to realize just how hard - and important - parenting is, and indeed, that we all could use help with taking care of young folk. It's really alarming that popular opinion is still that parental classes are only for the "fuck-up" parents, or the parents who utterly failed. It should be seen as a good thing to take parental classes - especially on your own volition. It should be seen as imperative for one to take them, it should be a free, accurate, and scheduled occurrence so that people of any background are able to attend.

#politics #parenting #i might have posted something like this before but who knows. certainly not me (the blogger)#of course some cities and states in the USA for instance will have programs like this but it's not.. across the board from what i understand #my city has a few free parenting classes for really any parent and i am really happy to hear that #my dad talks about the classes he took and most of them are geared toward fathers (the classes he takes). i think that's a great thing #i wish that was more common when i was a kid. when i'm older you bet i'm taking advantage of parenting classes <3 #even if i have no children i won't be child-free unless i live in isolation. i want to treat them well #i would be devastated if a kid were to have a horrible experience around me because i was an asshole or i was uncompassionate or ignorant #the overall message i got as a kid was that parenting classes were a punishment for the fuck-up parents and THAT is fucked up to me #the idea that parenting is simultaneously natural AND that you're Always Correct and Never Wrong is dangerous at best #like i bet my abuser thought they were a good adult to me and that i was just a fucked-up *child*

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crownedwille · 2 months

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#some thoughts incoming idk if i should share but i need to put them somewhere #it's hard being in the yr fandom since the finale when you don't share the same vision and opinion as the rest #and people make future wilmon posts or write post s3 fics (which many exist now) they just don't align with your idea at all #and they're not exciting to me at all and the whole concept just makes me upset #i don't wanna imagine Wille as a 'normal' person (not that that's ever possible anyway which the show loves to ignore)#like I'm sorry but i didn't come to the show to watch an ordinary love story and have them lead an ordinary life #the idea of Wille being a future king and them navigating that royal life together is so much more interesting #i hate that that isn't canon anymore and when ppl make posts about them it's not about that or that would only be seen as a negative thing #i don't wanna imagine a life where they are 'normal' that isn't appealing to me at all and it sucks seeing everyone embrace it #and it's like you're not allowed to want something else or think differently bc that makes you the bad person and you're just wrong #i can't be excited about their future (also bc i don't really see them going strong in the future with how they messed them up in s3)#(i also didn't want to know what could possibly happen in the future i wanted that to stay open and just be in the present)#and seeing everyone else excited and happy about it makes you feel horrible and very alone and disconnected in the fandom #i don't wanna take it away from them but i also would love to see other takes but that's basically impossible now #am i the only person who feels this way or are there any other who can relate? pls let me know #i already feel like ppl are gonna attack me for this but it's been hard especially now with Simon's month and seeing so many interpretation #navigating ao3 has also become difficult now #it's hard finding fics to read where wille stays crown prince and you don't have to be scared for that to change #i just can't read any canon compliant fics anymore and i hate it bc i hate to disagree with canon #i normally don't do that bc canon is important to me and i don't want to reject it and create my own fantasy #and that's what's upsetting #anyway sorry i had to write this #personal

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crimeronan · 1 month

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Luz borrowing Hunter's scroll to call Amity after she sleep spells him because even though Hunter's breathing and she can feel him breathing, "Sleep followed by petrification" was Belos' "Humane" way of putting down Hunter and she's A Little Bit Crazy and Traumatized so she's like "I need someone here who can Fight Me to the death if it seems like I'm going snap and try to petrify him. Amity can you come to my room and spend the night please I need you to protect Hunter from me :(((("

i've had a couple friends with OCD talk about how strongly they see themselves in AU luz & nowhere has the evidence Ever been stronger than in this ask.

luz. baby.

you have OCD.

#amity is like 'he sleeps with you basically every night and you've never petrified him before....?'#and luz is like yeah but i'm thinking about how i could do it. which is functionally the same mentally for me as doing it except 150 times #in a row. with all the associated mental anguish.#amity: ....okay. i'll be there in a few minutes. don't... do anything drastic. okay??#luz: i can wait. i won't hurt him. i promise #amity: i meant to yourself. but okay!#luz being like amity i'm so sorry to ask it of you i know you're not in my guard and don't want to be around me but #nobody else knows i'm evil :((( and amity like where do i even begin. okay. sure. i'll protect hunter.#toh #replies #princess luz au #and who is that other witch #horrible mindscape trauma pals #shitty idiot repression gang #luz noceda #amity blight #hunter toh #ocd

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musashi · 1 month

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i JUST realized this might be related to one of my other friends in the mvk fandom suddenly hardblocking me so uh

hey y'all! if you frequent the mvk tag, there is a regular blogger there who i will not name, but who has some sort of pathological attachment/obsession with me. they and i were tumblr mutuals but we were not close. we DM'd twice and had scattered interactions here and there.

they are accusing me of:

being abusive toward them

being otherwise cruel to them

being ableist against disabled folks who are high-support???

sending suibait/having my friends send suibait

probably other things.

EDIT: someone's informed me they're accusing me of posting private stuff from their vent account? the only account i know of theirs is the one we were mutuals on

i can't stress enough that none of this is true. there is no proof of it and if you press this person they will have none. all that happened was some time about a year ago when we were mutuals, i feared they might be vagueblogging about me when i was having depressive episodes and i sent them this message about it:

i was being honest here, but they then turned around and said i was spot on--they were vagueblogging about how badly they wanted me to shut the fuck up, stop whining, etc (paraphrasing, but that was the vibe exactly) every time i needed social support. they have since deleted their message admitting to this. i am so sorry i cannot prove it.

since then multiple mutual friends of ours have unfollowed them because they squat on ym blog and, again, pathologically blog about me. they revel and make posts about "justice" and "karma" whenever i am upset on here. they scream and yell and cry whenever i am happy. they have admitted to wanting to convince their mutuals to abandon me:

again, i can't prove this is about me but i have a lot of testimonials from people who noticed this being in both our circles and can vouch for it. initially i was just going to roll my eyes and move on but i think they might be telling other people i'm some horrible fucking abuser who mistreated them when i wasn't even close enough to them to do so.

anyways, sorry to everyone who tracks the tag! i don't know how to prove that i didn't hurt this person. but... like... if they approach you, please do your best to use best judgement and consider the facts in front of you.

again, i will not be naming them. this is not a callout post. this is a preventative measure, because i am a traumatized wreck and i really cannot deal with things of this nature.

#manfred von karma #wordy wendy #literally someone in the mvk fandom who i never had a bad interaction with #just suddenly blocked me out of the blue #and i was heartbroken and reached out with no response #it happens to me p often but it seemed particularly random...#and then by chance i stumbled upon this blog #whose vent tag has hundreds upon HUNDREDS of posts about me despite not having spoken to me in almost a year #and i know they are friends #so i am like. 90% sure they accused me of some horrible shit in private #given how much they post about wanting to turn all our mutual friends against me #really ugly behaviour overall. their vent tag is full of some absolutely reprehensible things.#including talking about how much they hate minorities #and very thinly-veiled posting about how they want palestinians to die and suffer #because theyre tired of seeing donations #i do not know how a person like this slipped into my circle back then #they seemed normal when we first met and just kinda... i don't know. i'm not going to speculate on what changed.

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silverwhittlingknife · 3 months

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can we have a hint about what the spring break tim patrol chapter of red letter day contains? (you kept having dick say "if the joker shows up" and tim's "he won't." for me to be convinced that goes off without any trouble)

i'm sure it'll be fine. :D

i am delighted you're enjoying the story <333 i haven't updated it in soooo long but i got some very sweet comments lately so i have been looking at my scribbles again <3

#tim: he WON'T show up okay?? and if he did i'd be FINE. dick thinks i'm gonna fall on my face if i do anything on my own ever #dick: that is not true!! that is NOT what i said stop putting words in my mouth #tim: i literally watched this entire city by myself for FOUR YEARS and don't say bruce was here because lots of the time he wasn't #dick: listen i am JUST SAYING that last year you almost DIED A HORRIBLE DEATH a lot #dick: and i personally rescued you from near-death experiences & you were not exactly helpful or forthcoming #dick: so sue me if i'd just like to clarify that i will at least get a PHONE CALL if something goes wrong #dick: as opposed to OH I DON'T KNOW you go off to fight jason or ra's al-ghul behind my back and then you almost DIE #dick: and i have to go chasing after you AFTER THE FACT because you didn't bother to explain to me the stupid thing that you were gonna do #tim: that was NOT stupid and -- i KNEW you were still mad at me about that --#dick (unconvincingly): i'm not mad at you (more convinced) YOU'RE still mad at ME --#tim (unconvincingly): no i'm not. (more convinced) look i get it you obviously think that i suck which fine WHATEVER --#dick: i never said that and i'm just asking for the basic professional courtesy of a heads-up!! the city's my responsibility so -#tim: i know you're on a power trip about this but gotham is actually MY city too so --#dick: excuse me i am NOT on a power trip. i'm BATMAN which means that --#tim: you sure are #dick: oh don't even go there - let me point out that ONE of us is being an uncommunicative jerk and it ISN'T ME --#tim: you are literally trying to micromanage how i do a milk run that i could do backwards with my eyes blindfolded --#dick: i'm not micromanaging!! nightclubs can be -- i have a NORMAL degree of CONCERN okay so --#tim: -- so either you're lying to me or you think i suck; how exactly am i supposed to tell you stuff if you don't trust me -#dick: what?! i trust you!!! i just --#tim: you just DON'T trust me??#dick (trapped): i trust you. i'm just saying. if for example the joker -#tim (defensive): who i could handle #dick: or jason -#tim: who i could also handle!!! try to be a little less condescending maybe #dick: oh come ON. look you're obviously kinda testy about me going out of town which fine whatever but i'm just trying to -#tim (testily): i'm not testy. what does that even mean 'testy'

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drumlincountry · 24 days

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I was writing a loooooong post about what a frustrating interpersonal mire queer events in small towns can be, but I guess the THING is: its wild how many people will use the first 3 sentences they say to a new person, to point out who at the gathering is an irredeemable monster who must be avoided.

It's even wilder how many of these people will then be unwilling to answer the follow up question: "wait, why?"

Like, sorry! I don't want you to have to talk about something horrible when we met 30 second ago! But you brought it up so I do need to know if you're being conflict avoidant about someone who didn't invite you to their wedding or if there's a fucking rapist here or what.

Either someone is in active danger right now and we need to act. Or you're a rude gossip! Please clarify!

#You don't know me! I could be horrible!#The same sense of immediate kinship that makes you divulge this to me just because we're both queer #Is actually the same thing that made you so upset & decide that like - Sam is unforgivable #because they continued living with your ex who cheated on you even though they knew each other thru u in the first place #Or they vetoed your proposal for the film festival's new logo even though you did ALL THE WORK ALL YEAR #Or whatever #Maybe i'm on Sam's side! Maybe I think the logo's dogshit! You don't know me well enough to be telling me your grudges #Whisper networks are for warning newcomers about actual danger. Fucking Christ.#Me Fein #Anyway the picnic was fun. In parts.

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just-a-twinge-of-cosmic-angst · 4 months

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I may or may not have made something fairly unhinged.....

[ID: A series of clips from the Fifth Doctor episode 'The King's Demons' (set in End 1215, and centering around the Master and Magna Carta) to the Horrible Histories song 'Magna Carta 800 Years' End ID]

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blueskittlesart · 1 year

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also to everyone contacting me about the tiktok--I have seen it, the reposter did not contact me before posting on tiktok but has since contacted me on instagram and they obeyed my repost credit policy so i'm tentatively ok with it!

#im so conflicted about reposts lmao bc on the one hand i have like concrete proof espc with this tiktok that it draws more people towards me #bc several people have specifically told me they found me via that tiktok. which is cool obv i love getting more engagement #but on the other hand it does remove a certain level of my autonomy over my work yknow #like when i post on my self-run social media i have the ultimate control over my audience--who sees it who comments what is being said etc #and when it's reposted even with credit it removes some of that control. which is like. not HORRIBLY bad in the context of fanart #but i know also that i am a person with polarizing opinions and given how much of ME is tied up in my art i am sort of conflicted about #allowing people to remove me from my own content. yknow #like from personal experience whenever i get a popular credited repost on instagram i do get a ton of new followers #but i also usually get a huge surge of transphobic comments. so. yknow. 2 sides of the coin ig #anyway as for this specific repost they didn't violate my policy and i'm not going to change my policy just yet so were good #thank u all for pointing it out to me tho!#personal

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wutheringmights · 5 months

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also i really shouldn't have written stp because now i have a million ideas for spirit's adventures in new hyrule that I will never have time to actually write :((

#i freely admit that the whole 'spirit met jean at work' thing was an on the fly idea i didn't put much thought into #and then when i was writing stp i impulsively added that bit about jean and linebeck being family friends and you know what? that changes #things. like jean and spirit totally had to have known each other really well before they dated #and that thought has led me down a rabbit hole of thinking about who spirit dated before jean. and i know spirit was a serial dater before #jean (and would try to change his personality to make his partner like him more) but now i have a specific idea about Spirit's horrible #situationship before jean that is making me crazy (hint: spirit pulled a warriors and found someone who reminded him of warriors in the #worst way possible)#and i knew before stp that jean was a very calm person if only to highlight how over it he had to be to dump spirit after 6 months of his #bullshit BUT now that jean feels like a real character i kinda understand how much spirit would have been attracted to jean's stability #and how jean is this caring family guy and how much spirit would both want that stability for himself while feeling so insecure about #not needing to fight jean all the time or not needing to change himself to be someone jean liked that he would pick fights because #spirit is self destructive like hell and if his life and happiness is going to be destroyed no matter what he might as well do it himself #like god. goddamn.#you know the way everyone was obsessed about ickywars after i first brought it up? that's about i feel about jean and spirit #and i'm the only one who cares :)#me rambling #lu ctb

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