#I'm just so scared of ppl using what I do irl to make fun of me behind my back

[wa-royal-tea]

I'm back! Kinda + What I've been up to + Timezone Change, Story Posting Update

Heyyyy thur guys! I’m back, kinda. Sorry it took me a while to update you guys on what I’ve been working on, life has been extra busy since July 31st for me 💀 I won't post a story update yet as I still have things to do but I mightttt return by the end of September.

If you wanna know what I've been up to, read under the cut. Just a warning, it's pretty long 💀

I have an update on what I've been working on irl and it's kind of an exciting news, at least for me lol. So, in case anyone is wondering what I've been up to, I'm actually preparing to further my Masters overseas and this plan has been a wip since last year. I've been studying for my IELTS because the universities I've applied to requires me to take it. And then I had my graduation ceremony for my Bachelor's Degree after waiting for SO long bcs of Covid. It was one of the happiest day in my life bcs I got the Vice Chancellor's award!!! Sorry for the bragging there, I'm just so proud of myself :') I worked my ass off to maintain my CGPA every semester so getting that award really felt like all of that hard work was worth it :')

After all that is done, I applied to the Uni's that I wanted and surprisingly, all the Uni's I applied to gave me an offer which is pretty neat! I accepted one of the offers and then I had to look for a sponsorship.

I kept it a hush-hush kind of thing and only told several of my close friends about what I was planning to do bcs it was something that I wasn't sure that I'll be getting so anytime that I was taking a "break", I was actually working on this in the background (had to attend zoom interviews with the Uni's. Doing the tasks in order to get an interview invite etc.). It was a stressful process but yeah, this is what I've had planned for me when I was younger so I was determined to make it happen no matter what! Your girl is not one to give up easily! 😤

So around June this year, the sponsorship that I've been aiming for opened and I applied for it, got the results that I had been offered a full-ride sponsorship on July 31st and everything became so busy for me because I had to prepare the necessary documents to be sent to the sponsorship board. It was an exhausting process as I had to make sure that everything is prepared perfectly so there wouldn't be any problems and so far, alhamdulillah, everything has been going well. I had my visa done, I secured a place to stay during the duration of my studies, all the documents were sent at the end of last week. But preparing all of these took a toll on my energy and I simply don't have the energy to open my game or even open blender to work on my story. But I have been writing the scripts and all so yeah, the story is still running in the background. I did find some little time to work on poses but I worked on a few before I stopped because I was too tired hahaha.

Anyways, only a few people knew what I was working on while I was on this break. Shoutout to Miss Wheat knee and Gigi for being patient with me replying to their discord messages late everyday 😭 And thank you for giving me your emotional support and encouragement! A huge thank you to both Miss Devilled Eggs and Wheat knee for helping me in my process of applying to the Uni's from helping me brush up my English for my IELTS during one of our previous calls, and for helping me with my Piece to Camera video practice for my Uni interviews. I really, greatly, am thankful to you guys for that. And to Wheat knee, thank you for believing in me when I was overthinking stuff thinking I wouldn't get the offers sfkhskl I really appreciate you for that 😢

And with that, I would like to update you guys that my posting time will be changing as I will be moving to London for my studies. So my timezone will no longer be GMT+8 :') It will be GMT+1 as of September 28th. Aside from that, my postings won't be regular too, I'll be updating whenever I can as I'll probably be busy with my studies and all. So, wish me luck! I'm a bit anxious about this so I hope I'll do well :')

Thank you to all my readers who are still there for me since day 1, you all are the best! And sorry that the story will take a while to be completed, I'll try my best to still work on it bcs I love it too much to just leave it like that 😭

That's all I guess! Thank you again for reading this if you are reading it lol.

Love,

Nina ❤

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for yelling at my friend?

this ones a long one.

bg info

so we're both 15, and he's done this thing a couple times where he'll create a new groupchat and exclude certain people who he's not as close to.

to me, this is mean, and i've spoken to him calmly about it before but he kinda just brushes it off and says he's just including close friends.

its also relevant that previously i may have enabled him. like, theres a girl neither of us like and we'd make fun of her sometimes, though not to her face, which is probably worse. i'm trying to be nicer to her but i dont get along with her very well.

on top of that, the origin of the gc we use now is that there was a bigger one and he told me "i just don't feel comfortable with some of these people". so i created a new group chat and let him pick who got added, with the agreement that we'd have to come to an agreement before adding more ppl, just for the sake of everyones comfort.

not sure if this is actually relevant or if im just salty but he doesn't spend time with the people in the gc at school, he sits with a group of juniors n seniors for lunchtimes and only comes around every so often. not sure if he's just spending one-on-one time with everyone or if he's actually not hanging out with us anymore.

into the actual inciting incident

today, we were talking about the groupchat to a friend we'd made recently and added today. he offhandedly mentioned one of the smaller groupchats he'd made for closer friends, and how no one had used it. i got really mad about how casual he was about something i thought was mean of him to do, so i told him something like "i just think that it's a rude thing to do."

and he said something like "well im just including our close friends", we kept going like this for a bit, and I yelled at him "why are the only people that matter the ones YOU like?" and there was more of a kerfuffle i don't remember, but i did in fact cry (self-provoked, he didnt say anything). i apologized for being so dramatic, and he left. it was class time so i left too, and my sister drives me and she had work so i left school really fast.

we have a little routine where we watch a show together on call though and he said yes when i asked about that. after asking him abt our show, i texted him n apologized for yelling at him n asked to talk but i said that i still thought that the way he treats people kinda sucks. no response.

what people irl said

like one person said that i was brave? and that they shoulve said something. the girl we added didnt say anything, and my other friend asked if i was okay after it was all over

why i might be an asshole

i think im being kinda on a moral high-horse when ive enabled and even kinda participated in this behavior before and ofc, yelling was very much an overreaction on my part

additionally, its not exactly a choice to not get along with some people?

why he might be an asshole

excluding people on purpose and ignoring my attempts to talk things out.

with the bias filter on, this behavior is pretty self-centered, because he doesn't hang out with us much at all, and he's never very invested in any of our interests or issues, but he still gets to dictate who gets to be in the "close friends" group chat?

for any advice

i really don't want to drop him as a friend, not just because i like spending time with him, which is most of it. the other part of it is that im really scared of what will happen if he gets mad at me, because i don't want to break up the friendgroup into people taking sides, and to a lesser extent im scared that if that does happen no one will take my side in that conflict. it just doesn't seem worth it to get into a blowout with him about this when i don't want to lose anyone.

thanks for reading all that, this is mostly just to organize my thoughts. render moral judgement at will.

What are these acronyms?

[ravenbloodshot]

Ran Takahashi (Volleyballer).... Personality Reading

- I kept seeing him wearing a Canadian suit (Denim on Denim outfit). So that could be a style he likes a lot or he's just very fashionable in his day to day life. I also kept seeing him being recorded (like in a retro style)

👇This is the retro style I'm talking about. He may like to vlog/video in this manner, may have interest in photography. Check this video out to get the energy I'm talking about

- He could be a mommas boy or just has a lot of love for his mother. (I saw an image of him kissing , I presumed to be his mom on the forehead). He can be very sweet to her

- He's quite intelligent and definitely the type of person to love school, learning and reading. Like someone you can find at a library. (Idk if he's in college rn, but he's studying a lot of subjects, he could be just doing it for fun). He loves to learn about new things and is the biggest nerd + bookworm.

- He's very calm and reserved. But almost too reserved to the point that he retreats within himself a lot. Like, not going out a lot and not really having any friends (he's not exactly happy with this situation but he's not upset about it either, he probably wishes to be around ppl that are nice to him but he's scared of coming across those that aren't). I wonder if he had a bad experience when it comes to him interacting with ppl, like him being misunderstood or maybe even bullied. So he just sticks to himself, which is what he's use to

- Once again I'm seeing he's very artistic and creative. Has a love for the arts, music, poetry, videography etc... But I'm seeing that he could have possibly wanted to make a career as an artist and didn't make it (or switched to volleyball bc it was a safer option). So he could have this pity for himself that he never succeeded in his first goal/dream but had to settle for a different thing. I don't think he hides his desires to be an artist and he may come off as ungrateful and blind to his present opportunities especially since he's quite a gifted volleyball player so ppl may not get why he's crying about his failed artistic dreams when he's fulfilling an athletic career that many could never dream to do.

- This guy is giving solo adventurer vibes, like he's really on his own and he behaves in a way that protects his energy/essence since he knows he's the only one that can really look out for him. However, he's not selfish. He's more a self preservation type of person than a selfish one. Like he looks out for himself when it comes to basic survival but he's still willing to risk himself for things/people that matter to him.

- This guy has REALLY good energy, it's sooooo chill. He really makes sure to keep toxicity away from him so that probably reflects on why his energy feels so warm and calm. If you guys want to follow a 'celeb' that you know won't be some narcissistic, asshole irl, follow this guy, he won't disappoint.

- He's quite clumsy and may say nonsensical things at times. It makes him come off very cute and innocent though.

Grand Finale by Studio Killers is a song that fits this readings energy

[orbleglorb]

wow look who is finally getting around to making posts about his ocs!!!!

here's Arthur Murphy

and some fun facts + his story are under the cut

arthur is 16, uses any pronouns (i typically use he/him but it's very whatever), and he's a funny little protagonist guy.

as of right now, i'm reworking his story for the 185375th time and will most likely update later :]

arthur used to live with his mom, but then she died, and he now lives with his sister, danika, in colorado. arthur didn't get along with his mom, and absolutely doesn't get along with danika, but they make it work by simply never going near each other if they can help it

arthur is a semi-famous tiktoker, known for fnaf cosplay and shitpost content. fnaf is his special interest. he has a wall in his room that she's made look like one of the fnaf 1 hallways. and also she has a picture of pinkypills william afton that she chews on when stressed.

she has a pet cockroach she named craigory. he's actually the god of eternity but It's Fine. she doesn't know that ofc.

gwen is their best friend (i'll post gwen in a bit, but that's a lot of stuff i do not want to type out atm). gwen and arthur are online friends, and have been for years. he has some irl friends. he hangs out with silas and rowan the most. silas is going to have his own post, idk about rowan tho :P rowan lives in the other half of the duplex arthur lives in, along with his legal guardian, leylo. arthur comes over all the time and pesters the shit out of leylo and rowan but they love him :] (leylo is getting her own post btw) (if i can remember to finish these oc posts)

arthur dresses like they are dressed in the above pic pretty often. they make all of their fancy clothes, but also have a lot of stuff they've bought from walmart and target that they like. i never draw xem in casual clothes but they are usually in much more casual clothes :P

xe keeps getting haunted because he loves shopping at antique stores and thrift stores and keeps looking at the most obviously haunted items and going "yeah i'll buy that." currently he is being haunted by a ghost that lives in a doll. he bought the doll because they saw it in a store window and couldn't get it out of their head. and kept having dreams about it. so they just bought it. and it keeps trying to haunt him but he keeps being nice to it (while obviously incredibly scared) so they've entered an uneasy friendly alliance.

arthur's dad is the god of trickery (gods work very differently in my world, but i don't want to get into that rn) and he has two half-brothers: milo and max. technically, danika is also his half-sister, but it's easier to just say sister). anyway, arthur's dad doesn't know arthur exists until he's like 14 and keeps using shady methods to get to know him. like, having employees of his pick arthur up from school (or try to. arthur doesn't go because, yknow, stranger danger). or sending vague threats to people who hurt arthur. he wants to be a good dad, but he's a mob boss at heart and cannot change that. milo and max get along with arthur fairly well. max is also leylo's ex, so when she learns that they're related she feels Very Weird about it for a bit.

ummmm what else. arthur's hobbies are decorating his room, sewing, making tiktoks, shopping, and archiving things. OH arthur buys old tapes and such from garage sales and posts them to youtube so ppl can find their family videos and such. and sometimes they're funny. and sometimes they're haunted. they are very often haunted.

that's all for now ^_^

[potatopossums]

ok, I'm pretty sure i know what a crush is.

i know what it feels like. what it has you thinking about. etcetera.

i say this having experienced crushes or something similar growing up. if what i experience nowadays is not a crush, then neither was that stuff. not sure it makes sense to disprove something in the past tho. puberty hormones are a crazy thing.

but here i am looking for excitement, right? I'm thinking about a relative stranger. replaying moments in my head, reliving them, because they were exciting. that's the part that has always enticed me: the excitement of chase and flirting. danger is exciting too (haha trauma amirite).

I'm not sure this translates into a crush for me. it is a little annoying? a little fun too. but it's hard because I'd like to talk about my excitement and i seriously don't want allo people (or anybody for that matter) to assume i must have a romantic crush on someone and therefore, of course, must ask them out. it makes everything far less fun for me. i want my emotions and experiences to be good things, not "signs" to allo people for them to disregard everything I'm saying. how am I supposed to express any of this stuff to people who don't understand why i don't want to date people if they see "so much compatibility" and "see so much love in my heart" and think "we would be such a good match" or say i "don't know until i try."

girl, I'm divorced and i have dated plenty of people and it is not for me.

so this is for the aroallo and aroace people who might get this.

she's tall and pretty and ahhhh so tall, i have a thing for tall people. tall, scary, dominant, decisive, assertive people. like oh my god, do-it-yourself-er. my work sells jewelry with crystals in them, so we have little books on the spiritual and physical properties of all the stones for customers to use if they so choose. i was helping another customer with them earlier so they were still sitting out on a counter, and this girl goes over and grabs them all by herself and starts looking up what she wants in like, all 4 of them. like a powerhouse. unstoppable. she has been here before and she cannot be stopped. pls help.

sometimes i want to be intellectually and emotionally stepped on by tall, pretty, blonde women that scare me, ok?

a text conversation. image transcript:

Friend: Oh hell yeah dude. What'd y'all talk about?

OP: mmm mostly just ring stuff. she was like "I'm such a ring whore" and i was like "that's a good thing to be." and then she was wearing a lot of rings at the time and i was like "yeah you could take somebody out with those" and she was like yeah

Friend: HAHAHA

OP: and then she was looking up stuff in the big book of stones and she was about to look in the index and i was like nah they're alphabetized. and then i was like "i mean if I'm wrong then.." and she was like "then you get to die" and i was like yes pls. u get to punch me to death w them rings. a happy death

end of transcript.

like, idk what to call it, i don't have a good word for it in my opinion. it's just exciting to me in the way it's exciting to meet someone at a club and really click and how good that makes you feel. it doesn't have to mean you're meant for each other in a romantic sense or even a sexual sense. it can just be fun and exciting. maybe you make out or cuddle or grope. who knows. maybe that's it. or maybe you just flirt and banter and that's all. that's ok too.

i have no idea what this is. i just hope that I'm really feeling myself when she comes in again. i hope i look hot or something idk. not in an unapproachable way. just in a way that is me. bc i have no idea what i look like to other ppl but she is scary and probably nothing scares her lol. and I'm kind of a fan of that ngl. maybe it's the whole unattainable allure, the frayromantic. maybe it's better in my head than irl. who knows. but it's just fun and that's all i have to say. it's fun and i hope it's fun next time too.

[treatbuckywkisses]

so much is happening i want to scream:(

the way my job gives me so much anxiety it's not even funny. that place is a fucking disaster. i get told im going to be part time and im out here working 40hrs a week, and i dont even get my second break usually like im supposed to. there aren't enough people in the department i work in and they pull people from it for other departments anyway. one of our team leads basically told us all our sections looked like shit tonight and he was going to walk us though it and make us tell him everything we did wrong. i was stuck somewhere else for most of my shift and couldn't work on my section, so when i tell you i was so scared dude you don't even fucking know lmao i literally cried because I'm still new and i didn't want them to think i did a bad job or im not cut out for it or whatever. and he never even showed up. he said it to "scare us into doing our work" and im so mad about it. i almost threw up for that ??

im so fucking tired and dehydrated and it's so hot in there i barely even eat on my lunch break and when i get home after my 8hr shift. i can't tell if im losing weight (unhealthy obvi) or if i have looked like this and didn't know lol so i just try not to look at myself if i can help it bc what.

i never really know what i look like, but when i do, it's ugly and i hate it.

also im working on moving into an apartment (i say 'me' but im not alone sgsksh) idk living is hard yk it's a lot and it's stupid and where my stuff is im not even staying bc sarah is a fucking bitch for no reason and i will hurt her feelings if she looks at me so yeah there's like so much shit happening and I'm so overwhelmed like hello i can actually only do so much pls why

anyways i am really tired and i want to cry and sleep forever and ever:( is this what happens when you keep things 'bottled up' lol

omg also? i haven't gotten my period yet like since April and im 🥴🤨 bc where is she yk and then im like babe you're literally a ball of fucking stress and anxiety please take a Xanax but back to stress im so worried i will get my period on my 8hr shift with nothing and i don't drive myself so that is like extra fun yk wow

the way i have never talked so much and i do it like this where nobody will read it sgskdgd this is who i am as a person irl though so congrats if u read this ig hello

also since I'm fucking word vomiting i guess and ive already come to terms with how nobody will read this, i hate this place. like tumblr i mean. idk it just like sucks to feel like you deserve more than you get yk and i actually am allowed to say that. my moodboards do not do nearly as good as i would like to think they would when i make them and it sucks. because believe it or not i start out thinking they're so pretty and the lack of interaction makes me doubt my own abilities and i hate that. and how I have so many "followers" with the amount of notes i get LOL what a joke actually. especially when they're also content creators. why are you even following me then yk like i only provide one thing and you don't even seem to like it so what are you doing here. it's annoying honestly. how can a content creator be the one not giving support. smh.

i think i need to go to sleep bc idk what i just said and if anyone reads this i feel like ppl will be mad at me so that's where I'm at lolllllll i h8 myself <3

[withloveajaxx]

for the ask game!! cinnamon, mauve, blush, fuchsia, lavender, umber, razzmatazz, safron YES <3

IVE MISSED U TOO ☹️💗 & TELL YOU EVERYTHING?? OMG OKOK (it’s mainly me being sad tho bc life is unfair)

I’ve been doing alright, the two times I moved blogs tho,, it had to do w personal problems & some people had the audacity to send in asks that they rlly shouldn’t have bc it made me so damn uncomfortable and it was not helping w my current state so I left :,) THE SECOND TIME I LEFT WAS ALSO BC OF MY PROBLEMS GETTING WORSE AND WORSE and everything was going downhill and I needed a break + people were still making me uncomfortable w their asks (turned them off before I left again) I had accidentally deleted my only moots blog which I had to replace but using the same url (@yonayie pls my layla theme was so cool I miss it) I then deleted my other blog and moved here!! away from the trolls!! and weirdos who can’t comprehend the fact that I’m a minor!!

I spent my Christmas and new years on the verge of tears, it was not fun 😭 my house started flooding on Christmas and it scared the shit out of me!!! & on new years?? i cried bc 2022 was an ass and sm happened it was terrible & we didn’t set off fireworks like we used to so that sucked :,)

school has been a PAIN. I’m a complete loner so that makes everything harder 😭 & my math teacher? literally how did he get hired he cannot teach to save his life he’s so unfair too it’s CRAZY HNGJSJWIJE the only way I get a passing grade is if I self-study and do rlly well on the end of course test in april (which is getting dangerously close im not ready) I dislike my drama teacher 👨‍🏫 I’m okay with my environmental sci teacher + history teacher theyre chill 🤞the workload is manageable so I think I’ll be able to get all of my credits most def!!

oh oh my birthday is on the 27th!! yes this friday pls im not sure if I’ll be able to do anything for it but if not it’s okay <3 (it’d be the 3rd year not celebrating it which is why I’m so chill abt it that’s so sad 😭)

wow omg that’s sm word vomit pls!! why has my life been so depressing I cannot!! i just hope this year doesn’t treat me as badly!! PRAYS 🙏

okay now ur turn TELL ME EVERYTHINGGG <33 (everything that u can ofc 💓)

STOP WAIT,,, I INSPIRE YOU??? HELP WHY DOES THAT MAKE MY DAY WTF YONA PLEASE ILYSM 💗💗

also omg that's a lot that happened in your absence,,, FIRST OF ALL, i will willingly beat up life and people for you i swear,,, those weirdos better watch out for these hands >:((. secondly, i'm sorry that school, christmas, and new year were a pain in the butt :((. i hope everything gets better for you!! and ofc if you need anyone to talk to, i'll do my best to reply mwah 🫶

AND OMG okay what's been happening in my life,,, i'll put this under a cut so ppl don't need to scroll for too long HAHDJXJSJD

OKAY SO FIRST OF ALL... COLLEGE APPLICATIONS. good god those humbled me HAHDJKDKSD LYK I AM ACTUALLY STUPID 💀 the one i recently took was so fucking hard it was not even funny,,, like they put shit i've never learned, heard of, or saw and it was HORRIBLE. i was literally guessing everything math related please pray for my future </33 HAHDJDJKD.

ALSO!! I GOT INTO KPOP MORE AGAIN HEHEHEHE. i recently went to a concert of one of my favorite groups and holy shit. i cried. like so many times. HAHDJCKDF IT WAS CRAZY GETTING TO SEE THEM IRL AND I JUST AAAAAAAAJSKCIISJD 😭😭 i'm also seeing another group next week,,, MY ULTIMATE FAVORITE ONE. and i shit you not i am not mentally or emotionally prepared to see those men up close and on stage HSJFKDKDD

also yea school was a bitch 💀 tons of freeloaders and horrible teachers but yk what,,, i got my report today and i passed so it's okay HAHSJFKKDD. also i'm graduating soon and that's kinda scary n idk how to cope but yes 😭 i'm just hoping for the best and giving it my all HSHDJKKFF

BUT THAT'S BEEN ABOUT IT FOR ME,,, HOPING 2023 IS GOOD TO US <33

also nah i'm making sure your birthday will be somewhat special <33 gonna hold a tumblr party n give u a lil something I SWEAR 💗

[mcytkinconfessions]

ah, sorry, i should've asked. an irl is similar to a kin on the surface, but they're rlly not the same

but its more of a 'i am this character this character is me' than a kin is

and ppl with d/as (delusional associations) coined and use the term irl most, im not rlly qualified to explain what a d/a is, struggling to explain an irl as is lmao

i uh, not sure how to tag, but just swap in the phrase irl where you'd usually put kin

I’m going to try and keep this polite. Let me be clear that my anger is not directed at you, but at the misinformation rampant in our community. I want this confession blog to be a safe place. I want to help and give back to a community I genuinely love being a part of.

I was hoping I wouldn’t have to deal with DA stuff here yet, that I’d have a plan when it did come up. Wishful thinking on my part I suppose.

As far as anyone who I’ve spoken to can tell, DA refers to one of two things:

Alterhumans who don’t have much experience in the community who have been told time and time again that to believe that they are a character with such conviction they must be experiencing delusions. To the point where they believe it.

Alterhumans whos identities are informed by their delusions. In which case using a term that doesn’t include any reference to delusion makes sense, since the medical term is “Delusional Misidentification”. Delusional Attachment as a term does not make sense in this context.

While I’m here I want to say that if “i am this character this character is me” is not how you would describe your kintype, then it is not a kintype by definition.

A kintype is not inherently a past life. A past life is not inherently a kintype. Spiritual kintypes are not always past lives. Kintypes are not inherently spiritual in nature.

You can have a kintype caused by delusions. Like that’s a valid way to be ‘kin. An identity caused by delusion can be not a kintype, but honestly that comes down to personal experience. Something can be a kintype for funky brain reasons.

You don’t have to know why something is a kintype.

A kintype isn’t memories and sourcemates and phantom limbs. A kintype is something you look at and go “Yeah, that’s me.” at a fundamental level. And if you could remove it from yourself, you wouldn’t be you anymore. There’s a reason so many transgender otherkin describe being otherkin as a lot like being trans, it’s one of the best comparisons we have.

I got another anon today:

[ID: I'm gonna be honest the whole IRL and D/A thing still confuses me and honestly makes me uncomfortable. Like. No, this is me. And now anytime I have the urge to send out a sourcecall I get worried because. What if kff respond? What if I get led on again into believing someone that's lying? I'm gullible enough as is, I'm scared of someone just. Yea. Plus what if they end up thinking I'm delusional? I'm not but... it's happened before where people think I'm taking this "too seriously" or that I'm just a "delusional attachment". I'm just. Scared of the rejection from people that I see my old friends in? I'm scared of the disappointment.]

This is the harm DAs and IRLs are doing to the otherkin community. This is why misinformation hurts us. This is a story you hear time and time again.

We’re all tired and hurting and I cannot, in good conscience, post anything from a DA or IRL. If you want it posting either don’t specify and I’ll tag it as ‘kin, or actually do some research into the alterhuman community like you should have done to begin with and come back when you know better.

I don’t blame IRLs and DAs for this, to clarify, this is because of kin-for-fun who refused to listen when they were told they weren’t ‘kin and created a community so large it drowned out the actual otherkin community before we even knew what hit us, that have made everyone think ‘kin is just relating to a character. That look at the otherkin community as it used to be and say “We don’t kin in a weird way like them”, who ignore 50+ years of community history.

This hurts the people who are ‘kin who don’t know what the words really mean, who have been kept from our community by this misinformation and may never find that history. It hurts people with delusions who are shoved into this whole DA thing too, because they can’t find their people either.

I’m going to include resources on identities caused by delusions on my glossary page, which I’m currently working on and should be posted in the next few days. I do know it can be extremely hard to know where to start with the whole research thing when it comes to alterhumanity.

For the ask I’ve screenshotted here I’m going to give you a separate answer.

-T

[olderthannetfic]

Hello! I've been reading through your asks about friendships and I have a question I'm not sure how to phrase so it could get lengthy (sorry). I guess I'm gonna start by saying that my online fannish presence and my real life are completely separated. I'm not from the US and I'm not that young anymore, so this habit formed as to keep myself 'safe'. (It's seen as weird here, let's just say that.) And I keep my online presence anon as much as I can too. When you make friends online, you already click through something in common right? Fandom or show or anything and take it from there, see each other's accounts or whatever, no questions there.

Thing is, I make friends better face to face but I'm not sure how people just... tell someone about fandom stuff? Being a fan is easy-peasy, you wear some merch or meet through a fan event, whatever. What I mean is being in fandom. Shipping or writing fic or having a blog or making art. I'm so used to it being a hush-hush hobby I just can't imagine "coming out" in front of someone and telling them my username and all that. I live in a homophobic country so that adds to the fun, but even without it, I write erotica. I also write badwrong erotica so it's bit uuuh sensitive? I can't imagine telling someone that but it's a big part of my life and I don't want to close that off from someone who is supposed to be a friend but it's not the easiest topic, you see?

And i do have other hobbies and topics to connect through but I'm not gonna lie, fandom is important to me because I just love writing and looking at art and all and I don't want to make it a secret, as I said. This may sound very embarrassing but I was hoping you or anyone can share some advice? XD How do you guys approach this if you haven't met through your online profiles? Aren't you scared/shy to give out your username? Plenty of ppl's friends know they write fic but I'm not sure how they do that. I'm definitely feeling stressed about this bc of antis and doxxing and it feels stupid but I wanted to add that. It's that being vulnerable feeling but I'm tired of being ashamed of my own hobbies but I'm not sure how this stuff goes irl? Do you wait until you're closer friends? Or just rip off the band-aid? Who knows, maybe the other person is in the same boat! I hope you got a sense of what my question is? I'm sorry if this weird and thanks in advance!

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This is a very good question.

Part of the answer is that the people you're observing have different offline circumstances from yours, so you're going to have more trouble replicating their experiences than some lurkers.

But that's not the whole story.

I personally do not wait to tell people. I'm not in any real danger of being physically attacked for being a weird porn writer, but even in a tolerant part of the US, lots of people are going to think my hobbies are strange. Lots of people will have double standards where indie art by women is cringe and abnormal, while equally horny, revealing, or weird art that has the seal of approval from big publishers or Hollywood is fine and normal, especially if it's by straight men, but frankly, even if it's not.

The biggest key to the emotional side of things is to be confident that your way is the right one. You're allowing this other person an opportunity to know an artist with a unique personal vision. If they're a stick-in-the-mud who hates interesting art, that's a them problem.

If you are genuinely proud of your weirdness, other people will often find it intriguing or not think to attack it as cringe.

If there's an element of physical safety or job security at risk, obviously, things are a little different. You probably can't find local people who are loud and proud about fanfiction porn specifically, but what do queer artists in your area do?

If you're somewhere where gay men are being dragged off and shot, maybe there's nobody who's out and proud, but in many homophobic countries, there are still weirdo artist subcultures that aren't ultra closeted. Where do those people hang out? How do they signal group membership? How do they keep themselves safe?

Honestly, when I meet people offline, we don't always share our actual handles. It was years before I actually knew most of my friends' AO3 accounts. What I do do is casually talk about liking fic from the very beginning. That's normal to me, so I mention it like it's normal. Liking m/m, porn, and weird kinks are all normal to me too, and I talk about them like they're nothing to be ashamed of or secretive about.

The vibe you give off does a lot to cue other people. If you're not ashamed, they will treat the topic as a non-shameful one. If they go "Gasp! You like X!" and you raise your eyebrows as though they'd said something as silly as "You find cat videos cute????" it will embarrass them. Treat that behavior like a faux pas, not like a valid attack.

[transrightsjimin]

covid rants as per usual

had 4 teams meetings today nd slept too few nd i did alright at work but im rly overwhelmed frm the social interaction nd a colleague suggested we go out to somewhere outside w colleagues, to like a picnic or smth bc most of us rarely saw each other irl nd the rest was super enthused nd i just sat there like :S

nd afterwards i tried to finally, finally, like fcking 2 years too late but finally setting up a word document to go drop all these articles and useful websites nd posts in, to debunk eugenics sht and provide helpful websites, resources, accounts etc for those who do want to actually end covid and be able to go to safer places or get vaccines tht might otherwise be thrown away etc.

long sentence but urgh anyway i searched for omikron to check if it's spelled w a K in dutch and the search results were ONLY articles in major news website articles in dutch that celebrate how omicron is 'milder' and defenses of stuff opening up even while infection rates r terribly high and rising and i just felt sick to my stomach already from an NOS article tht claimed we should go for a 'controlled spread' approach for 'natural immunity' as if that wasnt already explicitly stated to be the policy since 2020, and also this child pedetrician / dutch CDC (OMT) member Patricia Bruijning who shared in a dutch talk show she wouldn't vaccinate her kids if she had them etc.

just god i tried to keep working on the word file but the first good article i wanted ti add is inaccessible outside the US nd i got too tired sifting(?) thriugh bookmarks on twt bd just only have the titles for what i wanted to have in the word doc i wanted to base my carrd on. im just mad i started this so late and everything stresses me out nd nothing can relax or distract me

maybe i shiuld rly draw out my feelings but idt i should rn bc i just get even more fristrrated thinking about it urghghg

im just tired of this eugenics bs and so scared of getting infected and for losing loved ones to the virus and every day i dont finish this carrd is another day a person didnt read or share it nd risks their health nd life more. and im just so so fking sick of the gaslighting, being told by others both on individual nd societal level tht i'm exaggerating nd ir's not that bad and that i'm too extremist and 'we don't know if masks work' and i need to consider other people's perspective as if that isn't shoved down our throats by the state nd literally the majority, and that it's not an issue if people die abd that theres no risk for kids and that we're safe and covid is over or over soon and and go along w the givt and media and crowd bc 'polderen' and 'acting normal' nd just the cultural, educatiobal, medical field etc that dont give a fck about face masks nd any other measures bc ppl dont knpw covid spreads via aerosoles nd otherwise dont care

also just remembered my manager / boss in a meeting complained a lot abt how a student in some survey filled in they think the non-EER student tuition fee (abt €11K / year i think) is too high nd didn't make sense w the 'inclusion and diversity' message of the uni. which yeah they're absolutely right abt lol

nd he was furious nd was concerned that this one student would harm the reputation of the school and disagreed strongly bc tuition fees for those groups might get even larger bc the university (supposedly) has too few funds nd needs more bc the student loan system will be stopped etc and him nd colleagues were poking fun at our faculty head(? i think) who complained 'this is a school but this sounds like a business!' (not in the call) nd manager nd colleagues were like 'of course it's a business' nd manager/boss used a weird analogy for why the complaint made no sense nd he said this is why they need to tackle the issue w the marketing team nd use data to determine more where to gather international students from bc those graduates result in larger funds for universities. just. christ. like i somewhat enjoy my job but the school is so corporate i dont know what to say nd again just that whole. polderen sht which basically just means 'go along w the status quo or shut up'

[jackiebrackettt]

Fanfic tropes au’s

Humans are space orcs

Foster

Vampire

Modern

Apocalypse

Superhero

hi ty for the ask! i'm going to ohhh whta's the word. preface?? yeah i think so. preface this by saying generally aus… not all that much for me! i'm a very strict canon person and aus usually make things a lil ooc bc of the difference in settings and therefore experiences. i don't mind them though ^_^ putting this under a cut bc i rambled a lot akdkjs:

humans are space orcs: hmm can be done well i think but it's not something i search out. middle between a B and a C i think. but something i do like is "ppl reacting to (whatevs)" and this kinda gives me that sometimes !! plus i like sci-fi and aliens and def robots ^_^ (although robots don't show up as much in this particular sci-fi brand) okay it's looking more like a B than a C but i still think it's like… could either be good or meh depending on the writer

foster: again not really something i search out? i like found family but and i think i prefer "adoption" more through that concept (like… "oh we're family now") more than anything legal like foster system. but i don't mind it. i feel like they're usually pretty heavy though? might just be the ones i've seen though. but yeah lots of mental illness and whatevs so have to be in the right mindset. putting this at a C

vampire: i think any vampire au is extremely funny no matter how seriously it's taken. but not in a mean way i just think vampires are funny. wouldn't search it out and a lot of the ones i've seen recently are kinda eehhh this is a bit much for me ^_^ so putting it at a C

Modern: dsmp eehh can either be good or bad. scares me a bit bc some of them are like… whoa this feels a lil too close to just like… disguised irl fic (probably not that bad tbh i'm just kinda sensitive to it ig. i don't want to interact with irl fics At All) but some of them are really good! there are a couple i enjoy a lot atm i forgot the ranking system. B i think? wait! other than dsmp i do like modern aus they're just most likely to be ooc for me -_- it can be good but ppl have to transfer over as much as they can. does this mean a C now? idk

Apocalypse: oof. only if there's a happy ending</3 plus i'm not a big fan of like… slogging through angst like this. idk. actually i'm probably okay with them but a lot are about zombies and i hate zombies!! they scare me. so i don't like reading about them either. but apocalypse au can set up a really interesting world to play around with depending on what happened to cause the apolocalypse and i like that. putting this at B

Superhero: controversial but putting this at B and C simultaenously. I like them!! but only sometimes. but it still fits B better. crack fics are kinda fun bc they're easy to read but the thing about dsmp specifically is that most i've seen are centred on tommy with sbi excluding tubbo and like… ah i'm not reading that sorry. it might be well-written idk but i'm a tubbo main and also anything sbi that doesn't have tubbo is strange to me (personal reasons, it was first introduced to me WITH tubbo in dsmp canon so whenever i see content without him included i'm like?? huh??? but i get that other ppl prob saw the ccs first)

that being said! some superhero aus are really good and i enjoy them! i'm a big fan of superhero genre (as a concept… most big screen/tv shows don't execute it all that well lol) and i think some of the misunderstandings from it can be funny! (when not drawn out and used for needless angst -_-) idk where i'm going with this…

anyway thank you again!! this was really fun ^_^

[aresrl]

I hihi I am!!! A little nervous w/ doing this bc I've never done this b4 so please bear🐻 w// me💦 May I request a match up? A vision, a romantic partner and maybe a friend and/or enemy? If that's too much feel free to just assign me a vision + partner, ehe/// Preferably male for a romantic match-up, but either gender is fine with a friend and enemy match-up^^ I tried to be as detailed as possible but I think I ended up just ranting, so im v v sorry if it's long! I sort of fluctuate when it comes to being an introvert/extroverted. W// strangers and irl, I'm very introverted and shy!! Rarely speak and if I do it's just the usual "Hi how are you? That's good. I'm good too, thank you for asking:)" yeayea I'm not too. Keen on social interaction irl. But I always do my best to be very nice!! I never wanna come off as mean bc wow what a bad first impression that would be. But with friends / ppl ik online?? Whew I am very very friendly n chatty ^^ Either very high energy or very chill, there's rarely any inbetween. Sometimes I like to jokingly tease my friends but I'd never go too far / make them uncomfortable!! And if I do I always apologize right away!! I like to say that I'm affectionate?? My strongest love language is def physical affection, if not quality time. Idk man there's just something about vibing with someone or hugging them that just aaaaa/// Although I usually display affection w// words of affection bc. Literally most of my friends are online friends so I can't actually hug them, sad times. Idk if this is needed/important info but I just remembered: I'm 5'6 around??? Need glasses bc. Whew i am blind (near sighted), I'm poc (specifically black) anndd, hm. Actually I think thats it for this section, aha. As you can see I'm, not really all that organized. Also I don't have the best attention span - while writing this I'm circling between 4 different apps - and I'm a bit of a mess. And also a little stupid. Just a smidge dumb. But I have my moments - I solved like. 2 puzzles in Inazuma by myself so I think that counts for something. I also find that I tend to talk a whole lot when I have an idea or smthn to say abt a thing I'm super interested in!! That's info-dumping. I info dump. Yes. I also really like to listen to other people talk abt things they like!!!! Its so nice :) I'm protective over people I care about!! I've never done it but 100% would bark at someone who messed with someone close to be. Arf arf yaknow. I tend to he impulsive. I'll do something, and be all "YEAH>:D" and then regret it later. And then I'll do it all over again in a fun little cycle :) I consider myself an optimist, but quickly turn into a pessimist whenever it concerns myself. Fun funfun. Should probably mention that I am. A very insecure person w/ dangerously low self esteem, which is super fun esp when you mix that with the fact that I'm rarely ever motivated to improve. Yayayay Also sort of a pushover?? Like most often than not I'll be convinced to do something, even if I'm not too keen on doing it. Also afraid of confrontation when it comes to my friends and strangers (that is, if it's concerning me!! I'll order smthn for my friend but if I need to order for myself?? uhh stutter time aha). I'm also a mega simp ahah! Srsly though if I fall for someone/get infatuated with someone I. Will be so obvious abt it even though I try very hard not to be. Would gush over that person probably. I don't really like mean people tbh. Like yes I'll be nice and civil with them but!!! I cannot stand!!! Rude people!!! Esp when they're mean for no reason like sir??? maam??? homie??? chill pls ty<3 People who aren't necessarily mean, but moreso have bastard energy and are just really "hehe>:D" but playfully are p poggers tho!!! I think I get along with kids!! I have a little sister,, around like. Nine? And we get along really well!! I also try and match a kid's energy whenever I'm tasked with looking after them. I take pride in the fact that kids like me >:].... even if they sometimes scare me-- Ok, interest time!!

I like art!! Quite a bit!! Less of a realistic artist and more of a cartoonist!! Idk there's just something fun abt drawing cartoons, hehe. I also like self ships - I have quite a bit of them, actually ! Idk its comforting drawings your fictional crushes loving you idkidk. I like writing too! Both original stories, and one-shots or personal fics that are associated with already created media!! Writing character backstories and personalities and stuff is also fun too! I've even made my own fictional world with a full fledged backstory n everything! It's very fun to think about. I'm a day dreamer!!! Yea remember when I said I write stories? I day dream abt potential stories even more. Mmm daydream world so nice so warm so fun I read aswell!! Mostly fantasy books, or stories where animals are the protagonists. Think Warrior Cats. But my favorite book series has got to be Guardians of Ga'Hoole. Fantasy owl books, anyway! X Readers are also things I enjoy reading :) Again, s I m p Also gaming!!! Is something fun I do sometimes!!! Although it's usually Genshin Impact, or Wii Sports/Resort w// my little sister. Oh, also pokemon! I rlly like Primarina, Vaporeon, Sylveon and Vulpix/Ninetails! I absolutely adore sweet foods, and baking is smthn I'm def interested in! Don't like foods w// weird textures though, like beans or mashed potatoes. Also I. Love spice so much. Mmm love it when my mouth burns so bad. Don't have a favorite animal but I've had three cats in my lifetime (btw not important but my current cat is named Sylvester and. He's my baby boy) so I am. A very big cat fan. Probably not needed but I really like sword and claymore characters. Literally all of the characters I main are either sword or claymore users. Although I did get Diona, so I miiight start forcing myself to learn how to aimmm. I see that I tend to like people/characters that are a little more extroverted than me. Upbeat, happy type beat!!! Nice sunshine babies, :) I think thats it! I hope this was good enough? Again, first time doing this (at 2am nonetheless) so forgive me if I got too rambly or did anything wrong ^^ Thank you for taking the time out of your day to read this! And I hope your day is good / you had a good day, depending on when you read this, ehe!

Hey! Sorry if the wait has been long! I also love Warrior Cats (I promise myself, one day I'll finish it.)

You received... A Pyro vision! Optimistic, enthusiastic, impulsive, reckless, and a lot of energy are the general characteristics held by the Pyro vision. • I hesitated between the Pyro and Hydro vision, but your energy distinguishes you from the Hydro vision. • You said you were impulsive, always doing something you might regret later but still doing it. • You react quickly: as you said, if somebody hurt someone you love, you won't think twice before barking. Your partner would be... Xingqiu! “This feeling was unexpected.” • At first, you were just friends, and Xingqiu really loved to tease you. Actually, you both teased each other. But eventually, a feeling of love towards you grew into Xingqiu. And that was reciprocated. • Your relationship is filled with teases, jokes, and good/funny moments where you mostly share what you commonly appreciate. • He also knows when to get serious: for example, he does everything to support you during your moments of struggle concerning your self-esteem. Your friend would be... Childe! “Luckily, I'm here!” • You two also share funny moments, especially during situations where your “stupidity” is overtaken by his insight. • Sometimes, he finds you cute. • He likes the fact that you get along well with kids. It leads you to great moments with him and his siblings. • You're quite the opposite in terms of self-esteem. I think it's a good thing because it makes you complementary. Your enemy would be... Albedo! A misunderstanding. • You wouldn't hate each other, but I think Albedo wouldn't like the way you use your energy, and when you're more in a chill mood (meaning you're more available for him to talk), he could get pissed at how much times he'd have to repeat himself for you to understand something. • He's very patient, but he understood quickly that his interests would maybe not be within your reach. • You would just be too different. Worth to mention • You and Venti are like drama queens in Mondstadt. You are good friends. But you both know that you can't be more, as it would eventually both drag you down (because of similar problems). • Klee is also your best friend: both of you share decisions that you definitely will regret later. Or maybe not. • Hu tao and you are kinds of silently competing over who's the best tease, and she beats you. My goal is definitely not achieved. I hope I can catch up tomorrow. And don't worry, it was surprisingly good for a first description!