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#I'm not forcing anyone to believe in my truth
livesworthlivingau · 22 hours
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Behind the Vale Chapter 28
ISAT/Two Hats Spoilers below! CW: Outbursts, Mentions of stabbing/killing.
This chapter is pretty much the same scene as the end of the previous Sif chapter, just from Vale's perspective, also a tiny addition at the end.
"Before I explain this, it's not their fault, please don't blame them, they were going through a lot and I didn't notice how it was affecting them and I told their secret an-" [Stardust starts to explain frantically before Nille grabs them by the shoulders to help calm him down.]
"Hey, easy, just start at the beginning okay?" [She tries to comfort him, to which he nods and take a deep breath.]
"... When I first looped back all those years, I was... frozen? I was panicking, stuck in my head, I thought it must be a dream or something, there's no way this was really happening, right?... And then I heard their voice... and all of that just went away." [You blink a couple times, glancing up at them to make eye contact... He never told you that. That just hearing your voice made everything okay in such a terrifying situation...]
"I ran to find them right after, as fast as I could, and... I was just so happy to see them, I didn't think about how they were feeling... forced to be back, I'd been through so much and they were just left behind... and then I dragged them along back here to force them into a family they didn't want any part in."
"Stardust... That's..." [You interrupt. He's trying to make it out as his fault. You're unsure if Stardust is that delusional that they truly believe it, or if they're just trying to take as much blame off you as he can.]
"It's true Vale, and I'm sorry. I really don't blame you for what happened." [You look away again, no matter what they truly believed, you weren't going to be able to convince them to stop at this rate. Nille still looks very confused, waiting for the story to continue.]
"So things seemed fine for a little while, but then Odile noticed I was doing a little too well, and I told her about everything... including their secret, which they made me promise not to tell." [You brace yourself... You knew the truth would be coming soon.]
"Vale found out what I did, they were already on the verge of snapping and that pushed them over the edge, so... they had to go back, before I dragged them to the party... They had to make us all loop back..." [You grip the fabric of your sleeves tightly as you hug yourself. You can't stand to look at either of them, you just want this over with, you just want to be exiled already, you just want this all done...]
"Frin, tell me what happened, please."
"Vale... They..." [Oh blind it all, He can't say it either.]
"I STABBED HIM! I SHOVED HIS OWN DAGGER INTO HIS HEART AND FORCED HIM BACK, OKAY?! I'M A MONSTER AND A MURDERER!!!" [They both jump back at your sudden screaming, Nille even pulls away from you like the monster you were.]
"N-No! You're not, Vale, you knew I'd be fine! You knew I'd loop!"
"And what if you didn't?!?! What if it all ended right there?!? How could I do such a thing?! How could I take that risk?! How could I hurt you like that?!" [You were absolutely manic, a crazed look in your eyes as you gripped your hair painfully tight. Before you could manage to scream again, you suddenly felt those strong, calloused hands around your face, holding you in place to ground you.]
"Hey hey hey! Vale, Calm down please." [You stopped... You felt your tears flowing down your face. You stare back into Nille's eyes, confused, unsure why they weren't looking at you like the monster you truly were.]
"You made a mistake... a big one, sure, but a mistake none the less. Frin's okay now, right?"
"B-But... I killed them... H-how could anyone forgive me for that?..."
"Well, Frin did, and that's the most important person to do so I'd say... It's a lot to take in alright, still not really sure how I feel about it right now... but I'm not just gonna hate you for it, especially after everything." [You still don't understand. You try to figure out why she might be lying to you, or how she could accept this, or what sort of wild trick this might be... Could she truly forgive us for that?... She hasn't known him for long, maybe that's why... She'll learn to resent us eventually.]
"I doubt you want to go back in there tonight. Maybe you should stay at the Inn for tonight, cool off a little..." [You pull away from her slightly, wiping your tears.]
"Y-Yes... that sounds like it's for the best..." [Her hand gently grabs your arm before you can leave, squeezing it a little.]
"This doesn't give you permission to run away though! Remember... you made a promise." [She reminds you with a light smile, letting you slip free of her grip.]
"... Right... I promise." [You still can barely stand to look at either of them, Stardust just standing a few steps back to let you both have your moment.]
"We'll see you tomorrow, Vale?..." [He asks, almost pleading even. You nod to them before turning away and heading for the Inn. You can still feel them both staring as you do so, as if making sure you don't just head into the woods instead.]
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[You collapse onto the bed on your little room at the Inn. You look down at the bottle of sleeping medicine they so kindly offered you at the front desk when you'd asked. You take a look at the recommended dosage and pour out one extra, popping it into your mouth and dry swallowing it. You lie back and stare at the ceiling for a moment, letting your eyes slowly drift shut and begging for sleep to claim you that night.]
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OK SO HEAR ME F*CKING OUT!!!
Bucky Barnes, the Bucky Barnes we know would NEVER, EVER agree to try to murder anyone, not even bad guys, WILLINGLY.
Bucky didn't even want to kill the bad guys he faced like the Flag Smashers, not even Zemo, even when he had plenty of reasons to do so.
Bucky has made it clear time and time again that the last thing he wants to do is hurt others.
To make him act like the Winter Soldier voluntarily is horrifyingly out of character! Proving that he is not the Winter Soldier is literally the crux of his story in TFATWS!!!!
His suit in Thunderbolts has virtually the same components that HYDRA used to outfit him as the Winter Soldier.
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Besides it is obvious that this scene is identical to that of CA:TWS.
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The only explanation for this is that Bucky is being mind controlled again... There is no other way...
My theory is that whoever is mind controlling Bucky is using a different method than HYDRA's trigger words.
We know that something similar will happen to Isaiah Bradley in Cap4. That means the government has access to mind control methods. And Bucky "works" for Congress/Government. The new Ross government! The pin that Bucky wears is the same one that can be seen on the Ross Funko. Of course there is a connection there.
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Also, we know from the book The Wakanda Files, that Bucky's brain has irreparable damage that even Shuri couldn't heal... So maybe Marvel is building on that...
Another possible explanation is Loki's scepter, suspiciously shown in the same scene as Bucky. Maybe some of the power of the mind stone is still there and that's what they're using to control him!
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I strictly refuse to believe that Marvel made our Bucky become a ruthless bad guy voluntarily! THAT'S NOT THE BUCKY WE'VE SEEN FOR 13 YEARS!!!!!
Besides, if Bucky were really the kind of person to accept those kinds of missions, he would have already been recruited by Val to do her dirty work like the rest of the TBs.
Precisely, according to an insider, Congress assigns Bucky the task of investigating Val and exposing her dirt.
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And if that wasn't enough, even when Bucky pretended to be the Winter Soldier in TFATWS, HE NEVER CARRIED WEAPONS!
So my complete theory is:
Bucky is being blackmailed by Ross' government to work for them, in exchange for not pursuing charges against what he "did" as the Winter Soldier, and that explains the court scene.
He is assigned the task of investigating Val.
He discovers what she is doing along with the TBs, and reports it.
At some point they (or perhaps Val herself from the shadows) assign him the task of tracking down and/or eliminating the TBs, but he refuses which causes them to resort to some sort of mind control to force him.
Bucky eventually breaks free of the mind control and ends up having to work alongside the TBs to overthrow Val.
And as a bonus, Bucky is the voice of reason and the leader who inspires the TBs to improve and be better people, as Seb said: "A guy coming into this group that was chaotic and degenerate, and somehow finding a way to unite them."
Bucky is and always has been a good man who has never enjoyed having to fight. I SWEAR IF MARVEL CHANGES THAT, WHICH IS ALL WE'VE SEEN FOR 13 YEARS, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO DO.
Whatever the truth is, I HATE with all my heart that our poor boy is going through this horrifying situation as if he hasn't already suffered enough!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭 😭
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taolaoo · 4 months
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There are a lot of things that make me despise dudebros. One of them is when Abigail and Arthur's relationship becomes the object of their stupid jokes.
So, Abigail and Arthur's relationship. If you ask me, I really don't think Arthur was head over heels in love with her. Absolutely not. The way he describes her and Jack in the journal is more like grieving for what was taken from him. It's so painfully obvious that he's comparing them to Eliza and Isaac in his mind. It's not love, it's just a glimpse of a lost feeling. But even if it is love, it's not in a healthy way.
An important clarification, but I also don't think Arthur ever slept with her. How could he if he had women of his own at that time? (Eliza and Mary, we don't know for sure which one he got into a relationship with first). Arthur doesn't seem to me like a man who can sleep with someone when he's already in a relationship, you know.
Bill's words in rdr1 about Abigail sleeping with everyone sound very funny coming out of his mouth in my opinion. Because first of all, it's Bill; secondly, he's a bastard who always likes to say things to piss others off; thirdly, why do you expect me to take him seriously after he said he slept with her too? I'd rather believe in flat earth than that Abigail, strong woman that she is, would let this smelly boykisser too close to breathe next to her.
What is certain between Arthur and Abigail is trust. From the way Jack is very friendly with him and not afraid to ask for his help, you could tell that Arthur has always been there for him and Abigail, especially after John left. And that's totally understandable. Because Arthur is the only man in the camp who seems normal, kind, and good enough to look after a child. (Hosea too, I'm sure he and Arthur were that strong support for Abigail when she was having a hard time, but that's a bit beside the point right now).
Because Abigail is careful and smart, maybe she even saw something in Arthur that he didn't want to tell anybody (you always know that a man can only be gentle and caring to a child when he has one of his own). That's why they have such a strong friendship, that's why Abigail can ask Arthur to take Jack fishing without a problem.
And yeah, it may be hard for Arthur because he sees ghosts of his past around them, but he doesn't say no. Because he's kind, selflessly kind to those he cares about no matter how hard he tries to deny it.
Their friendship is so underrated, I wish for once it was talked about in terms of strong friendship and trust, not some dumb pseudo romance that doesn't exist.
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iniziare · 3 months
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Re-tag drop: Yelan
#yelan: ic. [ that's a worst-case scenario. but all too often; the most pessimistic speculation turns out to be the closest to the truth. ]#yelan: inquiries. [ oh? you'd like to know more about me? what will you give in exchange then? ]#yelan: countenance. [ an old friend of mine once privately commented to me that yelan “is always smiling; but never with her eyes.” ]#yelan: introspection. [ like a phantom she appears in various guises at the center of events; and disappears before the storm stops. ]#yelan: meta. [ the chances are if i open this door; there can be no witnesses left alive. is that a sufficient reason for you? ]#yelan: little notes. [ how can things ever be the same again: knowing your life was saved when others weren't? salvation can be a burden. ]#yelan: wishes. [ that which hides inside her… that constant calling; it is the blood of heroes which has been howling for 500 years. ]#yelan: etc. [ every round of finger-guessing is a tiny adventure; and every roll of dice sends sporadic thrills down her spine. ]#yelan: home. [ i'm guessing you've fallen for the rumors about me being very wealthy; having high demands for my standards of living? ]#yelan: yanshang. [ the teahouse has really brightened up after the boss took over and kicked the fatui and gamblers out. ]#yelan: lantern rite. [ every year on this day; the lanterns light up the night. may the fire never die and may humanity endure. ]#yelan: chasm. [ perhaps she will plunge into that darkness one day; and the ill fate that once befell her ancestors shall find her too. ]#yelan: scope. [ i serve ningguang. the tianquan of the qixing. the scope of my work includes some of liyue's biggest secrets. ]#yelan: weaponry. [ water. divided it is as streams uncounted: close yet untangled. united it is as a giant wave: inexorable; unstoppable. ]#yelan: uncle tian. [ there's nothing wrong with wanting to win other people's respect. but when has uncle tian looked down on anyone? ]#yelan: ningguang. [ we both made a mistake: we shouldn't have involved ordinary folk in what we do. / ordinary folk? ]#yelan: xiao. [ you think you're oh-so cold and ruthless. i'm not buying it. - losing one of us so the rest can escape? some victory that is#yelan: keqing. [ if something happens that they didn't anticipate; it throws their plans into oblivion. but the yuheng is different. ]#yelan: ganyu. [ i could never work non-stop like she does. certainly not at that level of efficiency. i guess being half-adeptus has its pe#yelan: yanfei. [ when i help her out; i always get some invaluable leads in return. gotta say though: i think she respects me a little much#yelan: traveler. [ you don't have to be on guard around me. i never scheme against people who have my stamp of approval. ]#yelan: v youth. [ you're still young. be patient. believe in yourself; and don't look outside yourself to prove your value. ]#yelan: v. pre-qixing. [ i don't do these things to help the powerful or mighty get rid of dissident forces. but because water too has a sou#yelan: v. qixing. [ seeing isn't always believing. and if you can't trust your eyes; you certainly can't trust rumors. ]#yelan: liyue. [ liyue will never plunge into disaster without clue of the danger like it once did. she will see that it is not unprepared.#yelan: wriothesley. [ don't fight over fleeting gains or losses. focus on where your heart is leading you and move forward. ] delusionaid.#yelan. [ i can't change the facts. but if it's a choice between the cold; hard truth and blissful unawareness: i'll take the former. ]
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7-oh-ta1 · 2 years
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Thinking abt my Inquitor (Lavellan) & his friendship with Sera is really is what led me to realize why ppl who hate her are usually ppl who love Solas -- and yeah obviously I'm aware that they're opposites but specifically I think people just like what Solas is symbolic of. It's not even that he as a person is fascinating to them its just that they really like the elven lore and that's his whole shtick. Which actually sucks bec Solas as a person, not as a symbol, is interesting. And it also led me to realize that characters like Solas and occasionally Blackwall (who I LOVE btw don't misinterpret) are forgiven for their deceit with little to no repercussions whereas characters like Sera and Vivenne who are completely upfront about who they are and what they want are trashed or at least were for many years until people got bored of them. I'm not exactly sure what I'm trying to say I just feel like there's a correlation. Like maybe they don't like what Vivenne is or Sera is symbolic of so immediately don't try to get to know them any further which is fine they don't have to like everyone, but makes me wonder how many ppl play these games that are crucially character based and just write off any character that doesn't lie to them for intrigue
#lindsay speaks#dragon age#idk i just don't feel like i understand that. sera is a steadfast friend who looks out for the inquistor.#SHE HOOKED MINE UP WITH A CROSSBOW ARM ATTACHMENT. <3#but she's treated so so shittily by the fanbase because they won't even listen to her? btw on many things my inquisitor agreed to disagree#with her which resulted in minimal disapproval and they were still best friends because they both believed the most important thing in each#situation was how to protect people who cannot protect themselves? and saw the virtue in each other#not to mention the things sera says she has every right to say (maybe it's different with low approval?) and she's allowed to have#conflicted feelings about the whole world. she's not a fucking politician selling you her worldview she's your FRIEND#and she's completely upfront & truthful about her boundaries and who she is and what she does. not one lie.#but solas can literally be some 10000000+ year old man with the plan to rip the world apart by force and lied to you not just about the#obvious bigger things like his doomsday plan but even the small things like where he grew up & what his goals are. and he did it with a#smile & he only regrets it enough to say ''I'm sorry but too bad'' AND HARDLY ANYONE SHIT ON HIM?? I actually enjoy his character I'm not#saying i WANTED hate but compared to Sera being treated like a punching bag for years because she doesn't lie to you versus the reception#he got???? it just baffles me. it was so disproportionate and still is !!
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My thoughts about the Trump assassination attempt
After having a few hours to process this whole thing and see reactions from across the political spectrum, I'm having some thoughts and some feelings.
First off, as I said earlier, Trump is a fucking boss. Take anyone who ran for president in the last 20 years, put them in that exact situation, and I don't think a single one responds by raising his fist and snarling in defiance and righteous anger. They run. They cry. They keep their heads down and the first statement you h ear from them is hours later filtered through 20 different speech writers. Today proved to me that, whatever else he may be, Trump is a genuine bad ass. He's exactly the person I want at the end of a sword pointed the United States. Because he's going to have a sword of his own pointed right back, and he's not going to run and hide when it comes time to use it.
Second, the modern left is full of monsters. The amount of people screaming and crying because this assassination attempt failed actually sickens me. It's one thing to have fantasies about easy solutions to the things that scare you. Hell, I'm not innocent. I've thought about how much better things might be if this politician was no longer around or this activist group got axed. But one of the things I did today was think about how I would feel if the assassin succeeded. And then I thought about how I'd feel if someone took a shot at Biden and he didn't survive. Neither thought gave me any good feelings. Obviously I'd be more upset if Trump died, but today showed me that I don't want us to start down the path of shooting political leaders. But too many people on the left, people who should know better, at least enough to hide their true feelings, have no problem publicly wishing Trump was dead right now. That assassinating presidential candidates was a legitimate tactic--but only against the politicians they don't like, of course.
Fuck that.
Fuck them.
America is better than that. Americans are better than that. We're not some third world shithole like Mexico. We're the greatest country in the world. We're the last bastion of representative government. The last place in the world where freedom exists. And it's time we started acting like it.
Third, I ain't got no time for conspiracy theories. Sorry guys, but this wasn't staged and this wasn't a CIA hitman. Unless real, hard evidence comes out otherwise, you won't ever get me to believe any of the nonsense I've seen floated around. Don't be so lost in the true things the media has dismissed as "conspiracy theories" that you immediately jump to the most conspiratorial explanations first for everything that happens. It's lame and cringe and a lot of people I've seen seriously putting these theories forward should know better. I know we're in our emotions right now, but keep your heads.
Fourth, my heart breaks for the families of the people who were hit with the bullets meant for President Trump. But that's the kind of evil we're facing. Whoever did this decided that the idea of a Trump presidency was so awful that they were okay with shooting innocent people just to stop him. And this is after he was already president and none of the things the media is fear mongering about happened during his first term. Those people just wanted to see a man speak. To have some hope for the future. And some piece of shit shot them because he didn't like a presidential candidate. Or worse, because the TV made him scared.
Fifth, fuck the media. You think you hate them enough, but you don't. The media is the driving force behind our enemies, and there's no such thing as a good journopig. They're all lying propagandists. We just like some of them because their propaganda occasionally hits on the truth.
And that's all I got. None of this is organized, none of this is proofread. These are just the thoughts I've been wrestling with for the past few hours. This is the only place I can get them all down without being interrupted or feeling like I need to censor myself. Do with them what you will.
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laylaplease · 9 months
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So wet for master, aren't you?
ׁ ֶָ֢ ⏤͟͟͞͞☕️ ׁ ࣭ warnings ! ۪ ׁ ⊹ || Dubcon, virgin!reader, virginity kink, fingering, spit, fingers in reader's mouth, gagging, pet-names, Master x Padawan. MDNI.
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"It's alright, sweetheart; just let me check." Anakin snakes his arms around you, his broad chest leaning onto your back. "I promise it won't hurt; I'll be careful, okay? You have to trust your Master." 
With his mechanic grip holding you in place by your waist, he's trying to glide the flesh hand inside your robes while you squirm in his grasp, like a hunted bunny about to be devoured.
"I-I'm— Master, please... I'm not sure it's a good idea..." You keep insisting on being spared. You feel your head spin as the coldness hits your upper chest. There is a tingle right at the lower part of your belly, and Anakin is sure as hell aware of it.
“Shh,” He scolds you quietly. “You have to be a good Padawan. I have to take a look; now spread your legs wider.” He pinches your side a bit too harshly, making you flinch. “It’ll only take a second.”
“I swear, I didn’t lie!” You grab his wrist, “I’m pure; I’ve been a good girl, I promise!” You try to convince him; you try to make him believe, and it’s so so frustrating because it’s actually the truth that he refuses to accept.
“Then why are you so scared, hm? If you aren’t a filthy liar and your pussy is still tight, why are you resisting?” His voice is more forceful now; he yanks your body towards himself to keep you still.
Anakin proceeds to push a knee between your thighs, kicking your feet apart. He finally manages to free you from the belt that was holding your robes together. He brings his fingers to your mouth.
“Open your mouth, baby. Have to lube it down there, wouldn’t want it to ache now, would we?”
He lets out a satisfied ‘mmm’ when you comply with his request. It’s better than having his digits forced into your mouth anyway. He glides his ring and middle fingers across your tongue, pressing on it and gathering spit. “That’s it, have to get a bit deeper.” He pushes past the major knuckles, and your throat spasms.
He pulls out soon enough after you start pathetically whimpering from the tears forming in your eyes. A string of saliva connects the pink of your lips with his fingertips. He holds you tightly to himself when his wettened hand slides down your abdomen into the sweetness of your panties.
“There we— Oh… Oh, honey…” He whispers into your ear as his fingers make contact with your slit; his voice drops way lower than before. He nuzzles the soft part behind your ear and takes a deep breath. “It’s already pretty creamy here, mmm?” He circles right at your entrance, juices mixing with spit, ruining your precious lace. “You want to tell Master something?”
“I’m sorry, I swear I didn’t mean it!” You start babbling excuses, not too sure yourself of how you even got so fucking drenched from your master violating your personal space. “Master, please, it doesn’t mean anything; I’m still chaste!”
“I know, I know, my sweetest... Maker, you’re so wet, so wet for master, aren’t you?” He consoles you, and you can’t decide which feels better, his cooing voice or the fact that he’s grazing your folds with such intensity. “Yeah…. Is my little Padawan aroused from me forcing my hand down her pants? You really want that tiny cunt stretched, don’t you?”
“N-no, stop… That’s— It’s wrong!” You try to pull his hand away, but to respond to your annoying whines, he presses his thumb onto your swollen clit and your knees buckle.
“Feels good, doesn’t it? I know it does. It’s okay; we won’t tell anyone.” You can feel his arm supporting most of your body, which is slowly going limp from the heat in your core. “Be quiet now and let master fuck a few orgasms into you, yeah?”
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dunmesh · 4 months
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laios and shuro's relationship is so important to me it's not funny anymore... the fact shuro kept believing in laios during the latter part of the manga, then searched for him after laios became a monster and defeated the winged lion- although it was unclear what exactly had become of him- is haunting me because of how it contrasts with him choosing to give up on saving falin after he saw her as a chimera. like, laios was so sure that their fight in chapter 38 was the end of their friendship while in reality it was the beginning of it in shuro's eyes. laios kept agonizing over losing the one friend he cared for the most but it's because he didn't understand the significance of that little thing he kept carrying with him in every step until the very end of the series: the bell.
shuro gave him that bell as a token of his trust in him and his love: "we grew apart and i'm no longer fit for the position by your side, but no matter how far you go, i'll be there for you when you need me". their conflict over how to deal with falin forced them to go in different directions, but despite accepting leaving falin behind, shuro couldn't bring himself to abandon laios as well. and it's no coincidence that the bell shuro gave him was the proof that laios was still alive after all that happened, or that it's what pushed mithrun and kabru to go deeper into the dungeon instead of returning to the surface (which quite literally changed the entire chain of events afterwards).
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yes, shuro decided to stop pursuing falin and report her condition to the governor so she could be stopped, even at the cost of her life. he gave up on her. but the same man also defied the canaries and fought for laios without knowing how messed up things had gotten because he chose to believe in laios above all else. and that, in my opinion, solidified just how important laios became to him- more than falin's, more than his own life, it's laios's he didn't give up on.
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at the very end, when he met laios again after the latter defeated the winged lion, he gave him a hug filled with the pure, unrestrained joy of seeing his first and best friend on the island alive and well. hell, i mean, it's easy to forget that shuro didn't really have anyone close to him too- and laios might very well be the first person he was this disgustingly direct and truthful with since he was a child. and when he goes back home, there won't be anyone else like laios there; his home is still the same. it's him that changed. and later on when he will recall all those years he spent on the island, he will realize how surprising it is that all the crazy stuff he witnessed don't hold a candle to the impact those few people he befriended there had on him.
of course, laios didn't realize it until then- shuro's reaction was indeed the one that surprised him the most- but at that moment he could absolutely feel how foolish he was to be so sure he will be hated and rejected after everything they went through. it's so important that it was shuro who greeted him so affectionately, after we saw laios brooding over their fight so much: it's shuro's acceptance that he was longing for the most.
with all that being said, the one last thing that drives me crazy is that the bell laios was given to use when he needed assistance most was still with him even after turning back into his human form. that tiny item he was shown to be quite careless with and yet never let go of until he wanted to be completely alone, thinking he should run away from everyone he loved; but it was too late, his friend already heard his cry for help.
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and they all answered.
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jewishvitya · 1 year
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hi riki! this is a bizarre question ngl, but im wondering if you could please tell me about why you are anti-Zionist? Since i have FRESHLY (last month!! Woohoo!!) become bat mitzvah, and I’m not going to beit Sefer every week now, I’m starting to realize that what I was told about Israel and zionism miiiight be innacurate. Please feel free not to, but I would personally feel more comfortable hearing about Antizionism from somebody who is for sure not hiding any antisemitic biases. Thanks and I hope it’s not a bother!
Mazal tov!
I was debating if I should reply to this and how. You're only one year older than my son and I never considered talking about this with a kid other than my own children. But if you're online reading and looking up information about this, I'll just answer the way I would for anyone. Like I said, I don't mind explaining. But I don't have the energy to collect sources for you. I'll do that later if you'd like. For now it'll be a bit of a rant.
Basically, if you ask different people what zionism is, you'll get different answers. Some people say that zionism is just the acknowledgement of our connection to this land. That's not what I'm going against. I'm not denying that this is our ancestral homeland. I've never known a different home, I grew up near Hebron. Our history means everything to me. So maybe you could create some definition of zionism that I wouldn't be against. But then I'll be against the use of the word because in practice, politically, the movement has been colonialist. And that reality is more important to me. So when I say I'm antizionist, I'm not talking about whatever pretty idea someone might have, I'm talking about things that to me are very concrete.
Zionism uses whatever political terminology is useful to it at the time. Currently, it tries to paint itself as a sort of landback movement, placing us as the indigenous population of this land. This is a distraction. If you mean "indigenous" as "this is where we originated" - both us and Palestinians are indigenous, which makes this term pointless to this situation. If you mean "indigenous" as "a local population facing colonization" - they're indigenous and we're the colonizers. That's the more politically useful distinction.
And the thing is, zionists knew they were colonizers. Ben Gurion was welcomed by the local population and expressed hope that they're nomadic and could be persuaded to leave. Ze'ev Jabotinsky argued that no land has been colonized with the consent of its natives, so we should just take what we want like other occupying forces did. They knew what they were doing. At the time, there wasn't the broad political pushback against colonialism that you see today, so they didn't really hide it. They saw themselves as the colonizing force and the Palestinians as the natives and this distinction had them placing themselves above the Palestinians.
When I was in school, I was made to believe that Palestine was never truly a country and the population here was never a cohesive nation. You might see questions like "Who were the Palestinian prime ministers and presidents? What was the Palestinian coin? What Palestinian wars were there before the creation of Israel?"
These questions tell you nothing other than the fact that Palestine has been under foreign occupation for a very long time. They try to lead you to believe that Palestine and the Palestinian identity are fictional constructs designed to deny us our place in this land.
But Palestinians have their own dialect of Arabic. They have their own varieties of Middle Eastern foods. They have their own clothing, their own embroidery patterns, their own dances. They have a very rich culture that wasn't just made up from nothing within the last century. I still have to battle against cognitive dissonance every time I find something of the sort, because Palestinian culture goes against everything I was taught.
The truth is, the British had no right to occupy Palestine, and they had no right to offer it to us. If we pretend there was no population that was wronged when we took Israel, we can be "the good guys" with Palestinians being a sinister plot to ruin us. This turns normal families, normal people, into a conspiracy made to hurt us. We're not fighting a military force - every Palestinian person is a threat to our legitimacy. Israelis don't even really use the term "Palestinians" - they're just Arabs, their individual identity is stripped from them. We pretend that they belong to other countries around us.
Israeli propaganda will tell you that we only ever act in self defense. It's in the name of our military, it's called a defense force. Israel boasts that it has the only ethical military in the world. The only defensive one. But like I said, we define threats very broadly. And we whitewash a lot of history. I was taught in school all our fighting was defensive - and then I spoke to an elderly man and he said "of course we killed whole villages, it was war, that's what you do." Only as an adult I found out about things like the Sabra and Shatila massacre and our involvement in it.
For the existence of Israel as an ethnostate, every Palestinian is a threat. A lot of people are all in favor of Israel, but against the government actions of ethnic cleansing. The truth is, the ethnostate is not sustainable without the ethnic cleansing. You can't accept one and expect it not to lead to the other. An ethnostate is never a justified goal, and that's always been the goal of zionism as a practical movement.
And I know why this exists. We've had two millennia of persecution. Antisemitism is one of the oldest forms of bigotry. And we just experienced an attempt to industrially exterminate us, we lost millions, including from my own family. We want shelter and safety and the ability to defend ourselves. I just can't see that as justification for what we did and continue to do.
You can look up our human rights abuses, but personally, there were moments that hit me. When I saw a whole warehouse of mail intended to reach Gaza, mail that's been kept from them for years, including items like wheelchairs, in such bad conditions that some envelopes got moldy. I still think of the people who spent all that money to get a wheelchair and were prevented mobility because we decided to hold their mail.
I watched the biggest apartment building in Gaza collapse under our bombs and I cried thinking about the people inside, and about the potential survivors and everything they lost.
I watched our people beat up the pallbearers at the funeral of Shireen Abu-Akleh, a Palestinian reporter. They almost dropped the casket from all those beatings. They were no threat. They just carried her. There was no reason to hurt them.
On the news, after Shireen Abu-Akleh died, the description of the Palestinian response to her death was that they're "חוגגים על המוות." The literal translation is that they're celebrating over the death, but that's not what it means. The meaning is that they're exaggerating their pain and their grief. They're acting, pretending, milking the injustice of it for show. And that's a common Israeli narrative, that Palestinians make a big deal out of things and pretend to suffer more just to make us look bad. We've dehumanized them to the point where we don't believe their grief.
And before all of this, growing up, I saw what the "us vs them" mentality caused in children. I grew up in Kiryat Arba and the population there is very strongly zionist. It's a settlement. It's largely Dati Leumi (national religious? I'm not sure how to translate, dati means religious and leumi means national). Over there I saw children as young as six cheerfully talk about joining the military and killing Arabs. I saw a kid throwing chocolate past the electric fence separating us from them, and laughing when a small Palestinian child went looking for that chocolate, calling her a pig. I saw my high school classmates questioning if they should help the family of a six-months-old baby, first demanding to know if the sick infant is Arab.
The Israeli left has a bit of a slogan. הכיבוש משחית. The occupation corrupts. It means that being an oppressive force changes what we are. It ruins us. And I truly believe that. It taints so much about us and our culture, about our compassion and our ability to have solidarity with other humans. Many principles that kept us safe in diaspora are used now to harm gentiles living under our control, and Palestinians suffer most of all.
So these are the reasons I'm antizionist. I hate what we do to Palestinians. I hate what it does to us. And more fundamentally, I'm against colonialism.
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yanderecrazysie · 3 months
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Twisted Zoo: Chapter 11
Prologue (beginning): here
Previous Chapter: here
Next Chapter: here
Note: THE TAGS BROKE AGAIN, I'M SO SORRY!
This is based on the stories of a keeper reader with the octotrio by @ashensgrotto and @merakiui
Also @twistedcece @cenatour @xiaopleasecomehome @bearshideout @koebishrimpuwu @vash-yuu @twstsandturns @help-whatdoimakemyusername @secret-potion @magmdnv @sunshine-for-serotonin @the-ace-reader @mel-star636 @silkkorchid @pamv11 @coffee-or-hot-cocoa @hrhqueenfox @goseew @luxthestrange @juno-of-wonderland @who-mst @despairingy-obsessed @lanxianschoenheit @ceramic-raven @m0063576 @kimdourden @rammylog @sushiperson @starshiningsirius @im-here-for-the-fun-of-it @the-monochrome-jester @owodi @girl-nahh-two @obeythehuman @berry-efoy @ivorette @the-broken-truth @losingmybrain @sxftiebee @queens-unheard-thoughts @medicine-san @strugglingsleeper @asdorlia @nightskylark @cashmerek @rocketstyx and @ryovel wanted to be tagged! Let me know if anyone else wants to be tagged for future chapters. If you no longer want to be tagged, please tell me! (I have removed the tags that weren’t working for me, apologies if yours was removed!)
Summary: You’re a brand new zookeeper at The Halfling Zoo- a place where half-animals live in captivity. Your job is simple- feed them and study them. Your main worry is that one of the more dangerous halflings might kill you. 
Unfortunately, that may become the least of your worries.
WARNINGS: yandere themes
Note: All characters are aged up, since there will be mature themes in future parts.
Also, I can’t promise I’ll finish this. I suck at finishing stories.
NOTE 2: Sorry that it took over a month to write this, but I needed inspiration + my new job is kicking my butt. It’s pretty short and bad but I didn’t have a lot of inspiration.
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You were on your way to the birds’ enclosure when you heard your name being called. You turned around to see Crowley making his way towards you, one arm raised to flag you down. You hurried over to him.
“Yes, Mr. Crowley?”
As you drew closer, you could see the concern on his face. 
“I need you to come with me,” he said softly, leading the way to the aviary. You nodded and followed him, worry starting to consume you.
“Is everything okay?” you asked.
Mr. Crowley led you around to a side of the aviary you hadn’t been to before- a side that faced neither the employee entrance nor the zoo visitors. It took only a few seconds to realize why he had led you there.
The metal enclosure had been dented outwards, as though a lot of force had been applied to it from the inside. The seams were starting to split apart, artificial light from inside the enclosure peeking through the cracks. It looked like an elephant had been body-slamming the aviary’s walls.
“Wha- what happened?” you asked, stunned.
“We’ve had some… incidents recently. All of the halflings have been acting up more than usual and, as you can see, there’s been some damage to the aviary’s metal dome.”
“But the birds are so well-behaved!” you protested in shock.
“That’s the thing,” Mr. Crowley said gravely, “It seems to happen after your visits. The halflings become… agitated when you aren’t around.”
You couldn’t believe that the gentle, friendly birds had caused this kind of damage to a metal enclosure. And because of you? It was almost unthinkable.
“I don’t understand,” you said in a near whisper, “Why would they do this?”
Mr. Crowley sighed wearily, “Halflings form strong bonds, that’s why we have so many bonded species at this zoo. They will especially latch on to anyone who shows them true kindness. You clearly mean a lot to them and your absence upsets them.”
“I didn’t mean to cause any trouble,” you said, a pang of guilt tugging at your heartstrings.
“I know, and I don’t blame you,” Mr. Crowley reassured you, “But we need to find a solution.”
“Do you have any ideas?” you asked.
Mr. Crowley went silent and avoided eye contact. A thrill of apprehension shot up your spine but you willed it away. Mr. Crowley would never put you in danger, right?
“For now, just continue as normal,” Mr. Crowley replied, “We’ll work on fixing the enclosure.”
You nodded and the zoo director dismissed you with a careless wave. You hurried to the enclosure’s employee entrance and were disturbed to hear, instead of the usual quiet, the sounds of squawks and hoots and other cries. 
You stepped inside and were surprised by the scene you were met with. The halflings were clearly distressed: pacing in their cages and looking around wildly, feathers fluffed up in agitation. Even calm-and-collected Vil looked ruffled.
“Guys? Are you alright?” you called out softly.
Ace was first to respond, “Where were you?” he demanded to know, voice tinged with panic, “You’re late! You’ve never been late before!”
“I’m sorry, Ace,” you said, trying to sound as soothing as possible, “I was talking to Mr. Crowley about some… problems with the enclosure.”
Ace’s eyes narrowed dangerously, “Problems? What problems?”
“It’s nothing to worry about,” you said, feeling a little nervous by the intensity of his gaze. Glancing around, you could see that every bird halfling had their eyes trained on you.
Trey flew from his birdhouse to his perch, landing gracefully on the wooden perch and fixing you with a stern glare and saying, “You can’t disappear.”
You nodded, trying to calm them all down, “I understand. It won’t happen again.”
Vil stepped forward, his beautiful feathers out of place and ruffled. His eyes were narrowed and he was frowning as though disappointed in you, “You always leave us.”
You were overwhelmed by all of their intense gazes and you felt a lump form in your throat. “I’m here as often as I can be.”
Epel looked up at you with watery eyes, “We worry when you leave. Not safe out there.”
You forced a gentle smile to your lips, “I’m perfectly safe. And I’m here now. Let’s all calm down everyone, okay?”
Slowly, the halflings relaxed. Rook stopped pacing, Vil smoothed his feathers, and Trey flew back into his bird house. Even though the tension had mostly disappeared, the underlying worry and hint of possessiveness remained.
You turned to Deuce, who hadn’t spoken yet, but instead looked at you wistfully. “Are you doing okay, Deuce?” you asked.
Deuce’s eyes softened, but the troubled frown remained on his face, “I’m fine,” his voice was strained, “I missed you.”
Your heart ached, “I missed you too,”
Ace piped up in an annoyed tone, “Why can’t you just stay here with us?”
You blinked in surprise, “I have a life outside the zoo. I’m sorry, but I can’t stay here.”
It was Cater’s turn to speak, and the expression he gave you made your stomach twist unpleasantly, “You’re too good to stay with us halflings, mademoiselle? We do not have a life outside this zoo, but we deserve that, don’t we?”
“Wh-what? Of course not!” you spluttered.
“Then stay!” Epel whined, a tear sliding down his cheek.
“I- I can’t,” your voice came out in a whisper. You shook yourself and turned around, heading for the staff door,  “I’ll go get your meals…”
There was an eerie silence as you passed out their meals. Each of the halflings took their salads and set them aside, their appetites gone. The tension in the air was so thick you thought you might choke on it.
Finally, the time came for you to leave. As you turned towards the staff door, a hand grabbed the back of your shirt. You turned in surprise to find Riddle outside his enclosure, his pink feathers standing on end.
“Promise… you’ll come back.” Riddle choked out, fighting back tears.
You turned to him and gave him a gentle smile before pulling him into a hug. “Of course I’ll come back.”
“Promise!” he demanded.
“I promise.”
With the way they all looked at you, with victory and possessiveness, you halfway wondered if you had sold your soul with that promise.
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battlekidx2 · 8 months
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I want to elaborate even further on why I think Alastor’s breakdown in the finale was (at least in part) motivated by the fact that he has come to care about the people at the hotel. A few people have responded to me saying they don't believe he actually cares or asking me about my opinions on certain counterarguments against the interpretation that he cares and I figured it would be easier to just make one post in response. (this is just meant to expand on my thoughts. You don't have to agree. That's half the fun of media interpretation.)
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The consistent throughline I keep being told is that his breakdown was purely motivated by pride and loss of control and I do think these were massive parts of the breakdown.
Alastor is very aware of the fact that the situation around him is spiraling out of his control. That the notoriety he had cultivated as an unchallengeable overlord is crumbling. His time away allowed the fear he sowed to dull. He keeps coming face to face with beings that rival or surpass his strength. People who wouldn’t dare question him before are banging on his door. His foothold in the world isn’t secure like it once was and that has him reeling.
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Alastor's pride is a driving factor in his actions, but, like I said in my last analysis, I think this is only part of it. I think this breakdown is motivated by the fact that he feels like he’s losing control of himself on top of the situation around him.
I'm going to start with the points/questions I've been asked first then expand on my thoughts after.
The first one I was asked about is the interpretation that Alastor was mocking the very idea that he would sacrifice himself for someone else when he says "Great Alastor, altruist, died for his friends." and I think that would work if it wasn't for the visuals paired with this line.
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He literally looks like THIS when he is speaking the line. This isn’t the face of someone mocking the very idea that he would do this.
It was actually this shot that convinced me there was some truth to the words he was saying because it looks like he’s beginning to have a breakdown over the fact that this is almost exactly what happened.
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The second one that I was asked about was the idea that he was forced to fight and protect Charlie by whoever owns his soul. But if he was forced to fight in this battle due to his contract why not describe it this way when alone? How could he even leave if he was forced to fight and protect the hotel? I doubt there was a caveat that he could leave the fight if he was seriously injured if he was ordered to fight and protect Charlie and the hotel.
I do think he's at the hotel because of whoever owns his soul, but I don't think it's why he fought or why he helped Charlie get Cannibal Town to aid them through his connection to Rosie.
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And the last one that I was asked about was the idea that the demons had to be fighting for love like Carmilla said to Vaggie to defeat the angels and the reason Alastor didn't win was because he was fighting purely for his own interests. Freedom, power, and control.
And, while I think the base idea of this is really interesting (This is a genuinely cool idea!) and could challenge Alastor's more selfish motivations, the show itself doesn't really back this up.
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Charlie is the literal embodiment of fighting to protect those she cares about-- she has the biggest heart out of anyone at the hotel-- and yet she doesn't defeat anyone in this battle.
Before she faces Adam all she uses is a shield to protect herself and the other residents. She apologizes to those she hits, while Vaggie finishes them off. When she does face Adam she doesn't beat him. She gets in a good hit, but she isn't able to finish him off. She would have been killed if Lucifer didn't step in.
Plus, Alastor's shield killed multiple exorcists before Adam destroyed it, so I don't think this means he hasn't grown to care about the residents of the hotel or that there wasn't some part of him that was fighting to protect them.
Now to expand on my own thoughts now that I've answered the questions I've gotten, it's not just the final battle/fallout that brought me to believe he had come to care about the hotel and its residents.
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The show itself seems to want us to think he is starting to grow “accustomed” (In Alastor’s words to Niffty) to the group with little moments that are played straight like when he sends Mimzy (possibly his oldest friend) away, telling her she can stay if she truly wants to try for redemption, but if she just wants to put the hotel in danger then she has to leave.
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When he says he believes in Charlie and wants to mentor her in cannibal town. He even gives her his microphone which is a literal extension of himself to help her.
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When he talks to Niffty (who he is clearly fond of) and admits he finds the group enjoyable to be around. He says he could grow accustomed to them after Niffty says she really likes them almost in agreement with her.
There is no sinister undertone or hint of the usual facade Alastor puts on in these scenes.
Like I said above I don't think that the fact that Alastor has come to care about the residents is the only factor in his breakdown or the only reason he fought in the first place (Alastor's blatant overconfidence in his fight against Adam makes it clear pride was a factor. That overconfidence is why he lost that battle). It's a combination of multiple things (his pride, loss of control, desire for freedom, etc), but I do think it's a valid reading that it was a part of it considering all the information the show has given us.
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This isn't to say I think Alastor is going to melt and be a team player for the hotel from now on. In fact, I think he's going to lash out against this internal change.
Alastor has always put himself first and in the finale he almost died trying to protect this hotel and it's rattled him. It's challenged his entire self-perception. He doesn’t like that it’s being challenged. That he’s losing control of himself on top of the situation around him. So, he doubles down on his initial goals.
I think this internal conflict is fascinating. I wouldn't have written so much about it if I didn't. I genuinely can't wait to see what they do with it in season 2.
If you feel differently feel free to send an ask, message, or respond to this post. I'd love to hear what other people think! Differing views and connections to characters is what makes media so impactful and fun to consume.
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lipringlrh · 8 months
Text
i know it wont work | CL16
"I hate to look at your face and know that we're feeling different.” - i know it won’t work, gracie abrams
summary: you don’t love charles anymore and it’s wrong to keep dragging him along.
pairing: charles leclerc x reader
an: wrote this ages ago but remembered it. happy charles contract day !!!
word count: 1.8k
warning: a bit suggestive? breakups and angst, sad charles who likes to beg x
feedback and reblogs appreciated !!
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we need to talk.
He received the text from you this morning, but he didn't want to respond. He knew what was coming but he had been ignoring it and trying his best to fix it for the past month.
He could feel you falling out of love with him over the past few weeks and he had tried everything to fix it. He'd bought you flowers, took you on fancy dates, and constantly did your favourite activities with you. It's not like he wasn't doing that before, he most definitely was, but he made it more often and romantic than before. The last thing he wanted was to lose you.
You would've said the same every day of your life until recently. You didn't know how it happened, or when or why, but it did and you hated yourself for it. You didn't want to fall out of love with Charles, you always believed you'd be together for the rest of your lives, so when you realised it was happening you ignored it, trying to force the feelings back. You immersed yourself in the dates he took you on and tried so hard to love him but you couldn't help it anymore.
It didn't take much time to realise Charles knew. He could always read you better than anyone else which you usually loved. He spent days crying into your arms, holding you and refusing to let you leave, mourning the relationship he knew was coming to an end. Neither of you addressed it though, you just waited, hoping the other would talk first. Despite loving him less and less, you loved the relationship you had with him, and you didn't want to leave him.
It was unfair though, you realised. You'd stare at each other and you could see easily how in love he was with you whilst you felt nothing. It was horrible dragging it on, especially knowing he knew, and you couldn't spend time with him without feeling incredibly guilty.
You didn't know how to go about it, telling the man you thought you'd spend your life with you didn't love him, but after sending the text, you knew you'd started it the wrong way.
You weren't surprised by the lack of response, you guessed it might happen, but you stayed home all day knowing he would show up at some point. And at quarter past eleven at night, he did.
You both were sat on the same sofa, not too far apart but far enough you couldn't touch each other without leaning. Charles hadn't looked at you since he arrived, he stared mostly at the floor, very occasionally looking up. It wasn't hard to notice the colour of his eyes - they were bright red, most likely from a mix of crying and rubbing them.
You sat in silence for a while, neither of you saying anything, neither of you wanting to admit the truth. Neither of you had told anyone the issues over the past month, but a few close friends had some ideas.
Charles was playing with his fingers, ripping off skin at the corners, he didn't want to hear what he knew you were going to say but he couldn't sit in the silence any longer without crying.
"Please just get it over with," he whispered, hoping he had the completely wrong idea for the last month.
You paused for a moment, taking deep breaths, trying not to cry yourself, "I'm not in love with you anymore."
It made you feel sick to finally say it out loud. You hated yourself for feeling it and for bottling it in for so long.
The room was silent again but not for long. Charles' head was in his hands, and small sobs could be heard from him.
"Charles, I am so sorry. I didn't want this to happen, I wanted to spend my life with you, I promise."
“Don’t, please,” he cried, voice shaking.
You started to focus on your own breathing again, forcing yourself to hold back from crying, “we can’t be together anymore.”
He looked up, straight at you. You could see his face fully now for the first time, Tears ran down his face, which was already blotchy. He looked tired and hopeless, and you feared he’d only get worse.
“Yeah, no shit,” his voice started off strong before breaking completely at the end, sending out another wave of sobs.
“God, I am so sorry, Charles, I am so sorry,” you sniffled, beginning to cry yourself.
He just shook his head and places it back in his hands. His full body was shaking and he was sobbing harder than you thought possible.
“Can you- can you hold me please?” he choked, barely holding back his cries.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea-”
“Please,” he begged, shamelessly. He didn’t care anymore, you knew he needed you, he didn’t need to hide it.
You moved closer to him, barely, still keeping a safe distance. You placed a hand on his head, not sure what else to do.
Charles made the next move and placed himself right next to you, almost on top of you. He leaned into you, pressing his head into your shoulder. You wrapped your arms around him subconsciously, pulling him closer.
He carried on shaking into you, letting out strangled sobs. They never seemed to end, he just seemed to carry on for what felt like forever. You cried too, into his hair, occasionally pressing tender kisses wherever you could reach.
"Please let me stay tonight, it's too dark for me to drive. Let me just have one last night with you please," he begged, still crying into your shoulder.
You knew it was bullshit - he drove just as well at night as in the day and it was just as dark as when he came, but you didn’t have the energy to dispute him.
“Charles-”
“Please, baby, just one night. Just one.”
You couldn’t answer him. It would be so wrong to say yes but it felt wrong to say no.
“Let me have one last good memory. Let me prove what you’re missing,” he tried pleading again.
You sighed, nodding, not that he could see you. He could feel you though but wasn’t entirely sure if your movements meant anything.
“Hmm, you want to? Please, baby. Talk to me.”
“Okay.”
“Okay, yes? Talk properly.” he ordered, sharply yet quietly, taking more control over his tears.
“Yes Charles,” you responded. He tried to look at you pointedly, silently pushing you for more, but with his tear-stained face it didn't work too well. After knowing him better than anyone, you understood though, “Yes Charles, you can stay.”
“Good answer,” he whispered, turning back into your neck, pressing lazy kisses up and down, “such a good answer angel.”
“Charles,” you almost whined. Almost. It’d be wrong to let him have you the way he wanted whilst he was in this state but God did it feel good.
He was moving down your jaw, leaving wet, loving, kisses in the wake. He was pushing himself into you, moving against your thigh.
“Let me make love to you, baby,” he moaned, rutting his hips faster against yours, “don’t refuse. I know you can’t resist me. Please.”
His face was pressed into your neck, switching between sucking and biting down. His hands moved further down, touching your chest and body in all the right places.
“Yes. Please, Charles.”
————
You slept well that night, better than you had in a long while even though you were still wrapped up in Charles’ arms. You were woken up by him, dabbing light kisses down your neck.
Light fled in through the window, hitting you and Charles perfectly. You awoke to feel his hair tickling your chin, his lips now kissing across your shoulder.
“Charles, not again,” you groaned, not wanting him to stop at all, but you were beginning to feel guilty. You just spent a night with a man who loved you unconditionally, knowing that you didn't, "Come on, Charles, get up."
He carried on kissing you, moving towards your collar bone, then inching further down, "we can go again."
You tangled your hands in his hair, moving his face up, away from your body.
"No, Charles," you paused, taking in a sharp intake of breath as Charles began kissing your jaw, "Charles, you need to go."
He stopped instantly and looked up at you. It was easy to notice the sudden change in demeanour. His playful attitude was gone, replaced with a much more miserable one. He already looked like he was going to cry again.
He'd put last nights conversation to the back of his mind, only focusing on the fact he had you all to himself. He didn't want to remember it either.
"Is there anything I can do to make you love me?" he whispered, brokenly, on the verge of crying again.
He rested his head on your chest, beginning to sob into you. His body was lightly shaking, only getting more vigorous as time went on. You couldn't respond to him - you couldn't even look at him. Guilt ate you up inside, you wanted to love him.
"I think you should go, Charles," you spoke, your voice cracking. You were crying now too.
"I want to stay."
"I don't love you Charles," you cried, "I think it's best if you leave."
"Could you love me again?" he pried, barely being able to speak between gasping for breath, his crying taking over his whole body.
"I think you should go."
"Can you answer me?" he begged.
You didn't want to but you had to. You repeated yourself again, "I think you should go, Charles,"
He propped himself up on his arms, his face over yours. He had tear tracks down his face. He was hopeful when he shouldn't be, "you're not saying no."
"I'm saying I think you should go."
"Please," he asked again, wanting nothing more than you to give in. He always believed, deep down, you were it for him, his forever person, and he really didn't want to give you up.
"Please go, Charles," you pleaded, refusing to look at him. If you could go back in time and fix your feelings, you would, in every timeline, but you couldn't and you regretted it every second.
"I'm going," he sighed, defeatedly, getting up from the bed. He grabbed his clothes, dressing himself with little effort.
He took his time, trying to savour every last bit of time with you, even if it was bittersweet. He took one last look at you before he was out of the door, holding your gaze for as long as he could.
"I promise you I'll love you forever, call me if you'll let me".
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rosyandraw · 9 days
Note
idk if this is redundant on your end but thoughts on Damen needing to talk during sex? in the books it isn’t even dirty talk it’s just endless want for Laurent and how long he’s been waiting for him and how different Laurent feels. Also in canon & in ur own writing
Definitely not redundant! You have just knocked on the Damen Character Study door in my head lmao but it's late and idk how much sense this will make so i'm sorry in advance.
Mini meta on Why Damen Likes to Talk During Sex in Canon
First and foremost words are hugely important to Damen, not just during sex but in general. It is part of the reason that Vere trips him up so badly, why he just doesn’t get it. Because Vere is a veil of word play and innuendo, it’s double speak and flowery bullshit and lies.
That’s not Damen. His word is his bond, it’s tied to his honour and they mean a great deal to him. He never says anything he doesn’t mean. Ever. If it’s coming out of his mouth he is saying that shit with his whole damn chest and doesn't give a fuck.
The few times he is forced to lie or to say something he doesn’t mean he says it as a strategy play but it barely makes it out of his mouth and he hates it.
For a long time by the time they get to Ravenel Damen has been playing a part. Living a half truth and not saying everything he means. Or wants to say.
Likewise, in Akielos, Damen keeps himself held back. We know this because in 3 books, despite being the darling crown prince and heroic military leader, he mentions 1 person by name that he is actually and genuinely close to. One. He’s never been in love with anyone before Laurent, he doesn’t get close, he doesn’t get particularly attached. If he did Jokaste would have been a Princess and not just his mistress.
It speaks of a whole heap of childhood trauma and issues, thanks in large part to his father and Kastor and this picture that is painted of strength in Akielos being The Most Important Thing. (And i have too many thoughts on said implied trauma to write it all out properly here because it's an essay unto itself.)
We also know that Damen does the talking thing with Jokaste too. So we know it's an indicator of intimacy in bed for him. He's certainly not doing it in Vask, for example. Because Damen values words so highly he does wear his heart on his sleeve, but he guards that heart close. Sharing his feelings becomes something then tied to both the value Damen places on words and the lack of emotional intimacy in his life. To Damen, opening up like that especially during sex, is an act of giving unto its self.
Damen is strong, yes. Crazy strong and the perfect warrior. But he also likes the wordy sad poems and has craved approval (and affection) from his father and Kastor seemingly most of his life. For example, Kastor stabbed him and made Damen believe with words that it was a good thing because it meant Kastor respected him enough to fight him like a man.
It’s the perfect anecdote to draw all of those ideas together. Damen being happy about being stabbed at 13 by his brother because Kastor said it was a good thing to be strong enough to fight properly and bear the consequences.
Words matter to Damen, he assumes they do to other people too. It's what nearly gets him killed.
It’s funny really, because Damen values words but he himself is a man of action and Laurent values action but is a man of words.
When it comes to sex we see them swap places from their usual dynamic and therein lies the intimacy.
Laurent acts and Damen talks. It’s a complete role reversal and it was always meant to be. Pacat has said, several times, that Laurent tops Damen with words all the time and it was a purposeful choice to have Laurent bottom because of this. So to follow that through to it's logical conclusion for the sex scenes to really hit we needed to see them swap places completely and Damen needed to talk.
Laurent is a mouthy little shit but when it comes to his important scenes (the building of their intimacy and their sex scenes) it's never his words that he's speaking loudest with. Like when he just hugged Damen after the meeting with Jokaste in KR or when he went to get ice for him in PG, it's an offering in place of words and Laurent does it frequently: letting his actions speak louder than any of his words because to Laurent words don't really matter, lies are too easy. He's been taken in by words before.
Damen gets to Laurent through his actions and it's Laurent's moments of honesty, of saying something unexpected, that make Damen really pay attention. This isn't to say that Laurent's actions don't get to him, they do of course, but only really when Damen comes to realise that's how Laurent is being honest. Likewise in reverse for Laurent.
It's the language the other understands that allows the distance to bridge, but the intimacy comes in the opposite every time.
So when they fall into bed Laurent instigates with action, all three times they are together. And Damen talks. Because it’s the thing that is important to them that they are willingly giving and sharing and that is what makes it intimate.  
Quite simply, Damen holds himself back emotionally so talking during sex like that is a way for Damen to let go and to let his partner know that's it not just sex. Laurent, in reverse, shows his want through the instigation and by the time it happens they both know what it means: Laurent never does that and Damen knows it. Laurent knows Damen says what he fucking means.
It's such an intimate sex scene because of that awareness.
In my writing I kind of try to take that and run with it. Damen says what he means and what he wants Laurent to hear, because words of affirmation are important to him personally so he makes sure to share that.
Plus, it’s just sexy, you know? Got to love a man who talks in bed, that sex rough voice when he’s so far gone you know what his saying is just the shit flying through his head?
Hot.
Loved this ask so much. I could literally write a thesis on Damen lmao
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jymwahuwu · 9 months
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The jealousy noncon with Jing Yuan post is a scrumptious idea bc like I'm knowledgeable about sex, more so than my friends who have had sex,
This old man (affectionate) would be able to tell the reader is a virgin just how they react to any stimulation but now he's not gonna stop because he'll be their first (and preferably last) cause there's no way in hell he'll let anyone else take any of their firsts
And knowing Jing Yuan he'll manipulate the reader to believe that they wanted this
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CW: yandere, non-con, forced breeding, humiliation, thoughts about virginity
Original idea: you, who pretended to be experienced in sex, were non-con by a jealous Jing Yuan, and he found out that you were a virgin...
🤭🫣😌Mmmmm wonderful yandere thoughts surrounding the concept of virginity… yes, just like you said. And Jing Yuan can quickly realize this. Once the jealous Jing Yuan finds out you are a virgin, how funny he will find it and return his affection…
Virginity is just a concept established by society. The concept of virginity must be different on all planets (ah, you heard that people on some planets lose their virginity when their tentacles touch other people's thighs…), what about your planet? You might mind what people think! So you just claim you've had sexual experience and brag about it.
Or, you don't care about the pressure of "how old should you be to have sex", and you already have understanding of sex, but you still lied in front of this Xianzhou general. You lied and suggested that you had sexual experience.
Why? The reason is… the way that general looks at you is a bit creepy, clingy and sweet, but occasionally he stares at his prey like a hunter standing at the top of the food chain. You kind of want to get out of this situation. It would be a simple way to show that you already have a "lover" or "experience".
Sure, it's nice to be exposed immediately, but what if it was a little more dramatic? What if Jing Yuan was deceived by you? This cat general was scammed into buying a lion as a pet after all. Are you pretending to casually reveal that you've had sex with your ex, with your friends, or a one-night stand, or anyone else besides him? You vaguely revealed that it feels pretty good…
An ill-advised lie. The development of the situation is completely beyond your expectation.
Before this, Jing Yuan thought that he was open-minded and tolerant and didn't care about your previous experiences. This is your freedom and your past, isn't it? But, hearing you mention those previous "experiences"…He…
Jing Yuan is used to facing situations out of control. He doesn't panic, just disappears with a little smile on his lips. "Is that so?" He tilted his head. "How about you come closer to me?" After you refused, the general swoop in, put one hand on your body, and looked down at you. The usual golden eyes carrying starlight were replaced by… jealousy?
He didn't restrain you, but you were too frightened to move.
"What…what do you want to do?"
A test has revealed your "truth." Those hands caress and rub your private parts - you tremble, panic, blink, sensitive and unskilled reaction. Jing Yuan originally only planned to give you a more intense orgasm than "before", but your reaction cleared up some of the fog for him. Something amiss was confirmed. Are you...a virgin? The general mocks you so mercilessly that you punch him with your cheeks burning and your eyes filled with tears. It was really funny to him to think of you showing off your experience. As the rough cock presses into you and stirs the inside, Jing Yuan gently shushes you in your ear and promises you not to talk about it with others.
Then the next day Jing Yuan spread the word to people you know that you slept with him and that you are his only and final spouse now uwu
And there's a punishment!! Since you like "bragging" about your sexual experiences so much, you don't mind this, do you? For the next week, Jing Yuan won't penetrate you, but masturbates in front of you, rubbing and stroking his thick, warm cock between your thighs. At the moment when the cock is about to ejaculate, it will insert into you and fill you up with cream, without any thrusting. Even if you twitch and whimper Jing Yuan won't give you the thrust you want. The way that suits you uwu
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gleefullypolin · 3 months
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Stacy's Tipsy Musing's - Colin Bridgerton Hot Takes - Part 1
Ok boys and girls, we need to have a little chat about Colin Bridgerton.
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Part 2 has been out now for a couple of days and there have been a lot of hot takes to come out of the season. A LOT of hot takes.  I’m going to break this down into 4 parts. 4 questions that I'm seeing really bad hot takes about Colin.
Now none of this is new, I gotta say before Season 3 aired Colin was a hot button topic anyway. He seemed to be the Bridgerton brother that lots of people love to spew hate takes on anyway. But damn I gotta say its painful seeing the Polin fandom have so many bad takes falling from their lips.
So, I figured...having a little drink tonight, sitting down for Father’s Day (Happy Father’s Day, Colin) I’d give you the opinion on some of these takes that you didn’t ask for...Mine!
Ok let’s start with the hottest take. Question 1:
Does Colin really believe that Pen entrapped him in marriage?
“Perhaps that was another part of your planned entrapment”
Ok I have to say, I have never seen one line inspire SO MANY BAD TAKE FANFICS IN ALL MY LIFE! Let’s start at the beginning...he found out about Lady Whistledown by following Pen because he noticed she and his sister run off together and disappeared. His sister who was not speaking to Pen previously from his knowledge. So not only is he suddenly feeling betrayed by his future wife, but also his sister.
Now add to this, his trying to reconcile this lie in the middle of planning a wedding to the woman he thought he knew most of his life as quiet little Pen, who just weeks earlier he was trying to teach how to flirt and land a man. He is confused and angry.
But that’s only 2 layers of hurt. Let’s keep adding to that. Layer one, we have the lie. Layer two, we have a woman he thought he knew. Add in Layer three, the Marina situation.
The original LW lie for him was about Marina’s lie. The original entrapment. An entrapment that Colin was willing to look past. He was still willing to marry Marina despite her deception. He still checked in on her post marriage to Phillip to ensure she was happy, to see if she regretted NOT marrying him. Colin always regretted his behavior to Marina’s entrapment. An entrapment that LW pushed into the light and forced a different decision for him. I don’t think he cares about Marina now, he never once accused her of taking Marina from him, he never loved Marina, but she took his agency, his decision.
Now for the fun of it, let’s add layer four. Portia’s already accused Pen of entrapping Colin during his confrontation with her. An accusation he strongly defended her against. An accusation which led to him telling her he loved her for the first time and them sharing their first time together. Which he is now reminding her of.  “I’m a man of honor. And we were intimate.” Colin knows how to hurt Pen. We always know how to hurt those we have known for a long time, and they are of course the oldest of friends. He is striking her where he knows it will hurt her the most. Because he is hurting, and she caused the blow.
So let’s talk about the biggest blow of them all. “Perhaps that was another part of your planned entrapment” He doesn’t look her in the eye when he says any of this. He can’t, because he KNOWS he’s being an asshole. He knows its below the belt. But she hurt him. He’s angry, hurt, lashing out.
Because of Layer five...Hot anger at what she wrote about him at the beginning of the season. This person who knows him better than anyone else, wrote truth to page. No one knows the real Colin the way Pen does. His brothers toasted him when he returned home because of his new female attention, his friends said he was more fun this season. But Pen called his new persona a ploy for attention. She saw him for what he was. A fraud. If he is to forgive Pen, he is to also start to acknowledge that there is truth in things she says that perhaps Lady Whistledown does not tell lies.
But then there is layer six. Jealousy and shame. Colin has sat in all of his emotions, yes he’s angry about what she has written,but we get to the heart of it, he’s jealous of her and that makes him ashamed of himself. That’s very Book!Colin coded who was very ashamed of his jealousy, so much so that Pen mistook his silence and brooding as shame of her. But this Colin is brooding in his own shame and jealousy and lashing out at her.
And then we get to layer seven. Colin loves Penelope above all else. And with this love and hurt and shame and jealousy, there is nothing that will stop him from marrying her. And in part, that is where his ire in this pointed cut comes from. He’s reminding her that they will marry. This will happen. This woman who is a successful writer, something he thinks he will never be, will marry him. Because he has laid claim to her. He has bedded her. They were intimate, she was compromised, and they have entrapped each other. But above all, he loves her, and Lady Whistledown will not change that decision for him this time. This time, he will marry.
Seven layers of lies, deception, past hurts, parental pressures, anger, jealousy and shame, and above all love sat on his tongue and wormed through his thoughts for days until they cut out at the small woman beside him that he needed to hurt in that moment. The woman he had been avoiding for that very reason.
Colin is not a hateful man. He was a kind man. He was rarely angry. But when he was finally put in a place where anger was his only emotion, he avoided Penelope, so that he didn’t hurt her, so he would not say things that were unkind and would hurt her. But when put into the place that he could not avoid her, he lashed out. He made it very clear how things were going to go and he pouted, and he brooded and he said unkind words.
And he was ashamed. And after that he did his best to avoid her, (by being out drinking, sleeping on the couch, avoiding intimacy) so he would not lash out at her again. Because he was ashamed.
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Stick around for Part 2.... Why would Colin send Pen home alone after finding her on the street at night?
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IOTA Reviews: Representation
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Oh, so NOW child abuse is bad. Could have fooled me last episode!
Let's get into the twenty-fifth episode of Miraculous Ladybug's fifth season: Representation
We start off with an English news report recapping the ending of “Revolution”, stating that Ms. Bustier is going to run for mayor, conveniently ignoring her attempted coup in “Collusion”. We also see that Gabriel and Tomoe are still uncomfortably focused on making Adrien and Kagami appear to be a couple in public, much to their dismay. While Kagami is visited by Argos (who once again sneaks up on her, like he usually does), Adrien realizes he can transform into his space form and see Marinette whenever he wants and transforms into Cat Noir, planning to reveal his identity to Marinette. Hey, did he even tell Ladybug about his sudden departure? Because it didn't go well the last time he left Paris without telling her (New York Special).
We then cut to Marinette right after the events of “Revolution”, going to the end of the year dance... even though when we saw Adrien and Kagami in London, the sun was still setting, and France's time zone is only about an hour later, meaning Adrien and Kagami must have flown there at ludicrous speed.
Meanwile, Argos and Kagami somehow got from London to Paris offscreen, and watch Marinette from afar, with Kagami revealing she knows she's Ladybug. They decide to tell Marinette that Felix knows who Monarch is in order to ensure his downfall. Nah, I'm just kidding. Here's the real reason they're coming to Marinette for help.
Kagami: My mother and Gabriel Agreste will never allow us to love each other freely. Only Ladybug can help us.
Yep, rather than prioritize the fact that Gabriel is endangering the citizens of Paris on a daily basis, Kagami is seriously more concerned about her relationship with her boyfriend being tampered with. This is like saying Lex Luthor is evil because he cheats on his taxes. Argos transforms back into Felix, and... oh, for the love of God... he disguises himself as Adrien in order to get closer to Marinette. You can't keep portraying Felix as this master of disguise if he only has ONE disguise!
Marinette sees “Adrien” and assumes he came back from London from her, assuming her boyfriend is much more active that the writers actually believe he is, so she tries to follow him while avoiding the guests at the party. Meanwhile, Gabriel and Tomoe learn their children are gone, so he goes to talk with Nathalie and—why the hell is she like that?
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Seriously, this has never been established as something that happens when someone uses the broken Peacock Miraculous. Why didn't this happen to Emilie? She looks pretty healthy in her little coffin, and I doubt Gabriel is an embalmer.
Anyway, after Nathalie once again reminds us that she hates Gabriel, but not enough to call the cops on him, Gabriel transforms into Monarch and immediately detransforms back in order to akumatize himself into Nightormentor.
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Nightormentor is a pretty average recolor of the Collector's design, which kind of makes sense, considering that Gabriel himself intended the Akuma for himself. The star pattern is okay, but there's not much I can really say. As for his powers, he's just another Sandboy, being able to force people to hallucinate their worse nightmares, only instead of a pillow, his weapon is a staff created from a pen containing the Akuma, with the Horse Miraculous' Voyage to boot. Why he didn't just give himself the same powers he gave Truth when he's trying to find Adrien is anyone's guess.
Cat Noir arrives at the Eiffel Tower to talk with Marinette, just as Nightormentor appears. The two fight, and after a few civilians get caught in the crossfire, Nightormentor escapes through Voyage. As Cat Noir heads to the Dupain-Cheng bakery at the advising of Max, Alya and Nino decide that the totally not useless Resistance should get involved.
While Marinette gives chase, Felix leads her into the school's art classroom, where he transforms into Argos and creates a Sentimonster using Kagami's ring. Felix and Kagami use the Sentimonster's power to do... uh... whatever the hell this is.
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Yeah, this is basically a flashback, but the animators probably blew their budget needed for the new models on Ms. Bustier's baby bump, so we're getting this instead, thanks to the Sentimonster Argos created. There are several scenes of Cat Noir and Nightormentor interspersed, but like what I did with Marinette's flashback in “Derision”, I'll give you the summary before I talk about my problems with this.
When Adrien's mother and aunt, Emilie and Amelie, were born, Emilie (who was born seven seconds early) was trusted with the family heirlooms, the two rings we first saw all the way back in “Felix”. Even though this meant she would inherit the family name, Emilie didn't really like doing... whatever the Graham de Vanily family wanted her to do, but Amelie did. Eventually, while studying abroad, Emilie met Gabriel, and the two fell in love. Before marrying Gabriel, Emilie gave up her role as the sole inheritor of the Graham de Vanily family's vague legacy, while Amelie married a man named Colt to please her parents. Both couples wanted children, but it's heavily implied that Emilie and Amelie were infertile, so their wishes weren't able to come true. Emilie finally managed to get a bun in the oven thanks to the Peacock Miraculous, but this made Colt jealous that he couldn't have a child. Out of the goodness of her heart, Emilie asked Gabriel to give the Peacock Miraculous to Colt, in exchange for letting the Gorilla guard Adrien in the future. Using his own jealousy as a source of power, Colt got Amelie pregnant, though at the cost of his health. Colt figured this was the price he had to pay for using “sorcery”, and used this as an excuse to treat Felix like a monster and ordered him around using the ring containing his Amok. Felix himself was unaware that he wasn't human until Colt accidentally broke the ring (which wasn't one of the two wedding rings used to control Adrien and was an entirely different ring containing Felix's Amok), which he stole as soon as Colt died. This is meant to explain why Felix decided to steal back the Peacock Miraculous, in order to save his life. Felix later met Kagami, and the two explain that they need “Someone like Ladybug” to help them.
Now if your only information about this episode is through my summary, it seems simple enough. For everyone else who actually saw this sequence in the episode itself, I'm guessing your thoughts were about the same as mine.
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Let's go over every problem I have with this scene, starting with...
#1: The Way Kagami and Felix Explain This
Let me just ask something: Why can't Felix just talk to Marinette about what he knows since he now knows she's Ladybug instead of telling her everything through this weird play? You can still tell Marinette all of this without your two-man show. In fact, why did Felix have to wait until he knew Marinette was Ladybug instead of just talking to her the next time he saw her? Yeah, you could argue it's easier this way, but like I've been saying since Season 4, Felix has had no excuse to wait this long to tell Ladybug about the fact that he knows who her greatest enemy is.
And why the hell is it presented this way? Why does Felix have to recontextualize the story of his family's history in the form of a play? Why turn it into a stereotypical fairy tale that leaves out the names of all the important people, like Emilie, Amelie, Colt (whose name I only learned through the transcript of this episode), and Gabriel? If it was like a hidden message Felix and Kagami wanted to convey to Marinette, that would make sense, but why do they have to be so cryptic when they're only putting this show on for one person? You could easily avoid a good chunk of the questions this raises if this was a show Felix and Kagami put on for the public that Marinette was able to learn the information from. Yeah, it still wouldn't explain why Felix can't just tell Marinette about who Gabriel really is, but at least it's something.
The way it all happens kind of reminds me of this scene from this old Halloween special I saw a lot as a kid, Scary Godmother: Halloween Spooktacular. In that scene, some of the kids act out a scene of this little girl's parents entrusting her with a flashlight to explain why she carries it around, in order to scare off any monsters she runs into, using the graveyard they were in as a makeshift set. This scene works a lot more because it's done in more of a tongue-in-cheek way, with some of the kids breaking character to boost their own egos (for example, the kid playing the mom comments about how responsible she is), and how one kid in particular gradually gets fed up with the whole thing. The scene does its job at delivering exposition in a way that isn't meant to be taken too seriously, and it's clear this is being done by some kids goofing around in-universe.
With this episode, it's clear that the writers want the audience to take this whole backstory seriously in spite of how absurd it all is. Seriously look at this.
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We are seriously expected to take this backstory seriously when it looks like some theater major's midterm project. The animators want it to look artsy and unique for the sake of making it look artsy and unique. Why does it look like a play these two put together themselves if they're supposedly using a Sentimonster's power to do it? If the unnamed Sentimonster's powers is how Marinette is seeing all this, why can't it actually be seen as a flashback? Was it always intended to be a handmade play that was changed to the product of a Sentimonster at the last minute?
I get that the animators probably wanted kids to pick up on the visuals of the play, but even then, it makes it hard to really stomach the serious themes this backstory brings up, like infertility and child abuse, with the way they're presented. Not only do Felix and Kagami all play the characters using these white jumpsuits and masks, they also do all the voices, meaning that the only “dialogue” we hear from Colt is delivered by Kagami putting on a deeper voice. Let me repeat that: the only times we hear Colt, the abusive parent and all around garbage human being, talk, it's done by a teenage girl trying to make her voice sound deeper.
But hey, maybe the goofy voice will be overshadowed by the nuanced depiction of child abuse, right? Right?
#2: The Portrayal of Colt and the Double Standards Regarding His Treatment of Felix
I have never seen a single show struggle this much to convey a lesson as simple as “Child abuse is bad”.
When it comes to the parents in this show, terrible parents like Gabriel, Audrey, and Tomoe are almost never held accountable for the way they treated their children. If the writers aren't claiming they really love their children deep down, they're either downplaying how cruel they are at best or playing their behavior for laughs at worst. But here we are, the penultimate episode of the fifth season, and we finally have a parent who is unambiguously treated as a terrible human being with no redeeming qualities... and I still have problems with this.
This flashback really goes out of its way to let the audience that Colt was a real piece of scum in life. He only wanted a child out of jealousy, used his Amok to force Felix to do whatever he wanted, was heavily implied to have physically beat him at times, and blamed him for his poor health on his deathbed when he was the one who wanted to use the Peacock in the first place. Now that I think about it, why did Colt even use the Peacock to create Felix instead of Emelie? Was the episode so determined to paint Colt as a bastard that he wanted to be the one to create Felix himself?
The point I'm trying to make is that the show doesn't really explain why Colt was like this. Why was he such an angry man who treated his only child like crap? I don't know, because all the show's telling me is that he was just a dick. He honestly feels more like a caricature than anything else. He's only as terrible of a person he is in order to make the audience sympathize with Felix. I'm not saying that what Felix went through was okay, but it has the same energy as scenes of Gabriel talking to Emilie's body. It's mostly there to make the audience sympathize with an antagonistic character in spite of all the things they've done.
What's really weird is that even though the whole point of this play is so Felix can tell Marinette Gabriel is Monarch, so what does Colt have to do with this? I'm not saying he's not worth mentioning, but it makes no sense for Felix to tell Marinette about his abusive father before he tells her about Gabriel. It feels more like Felix wants to find a way to excuse his actions before telling Marinette about Gabriel being Monarch. And remember when “Derision” made a big deal about Chloe's terrible parents not excusing her actions? Funny how that conveniently doesn't apply to Felix in this episode.
In fact, let's talk about the elephant in the room: The fact that this episode aired right after “Revolution”, an episode that literally said a character living under an abusive and controlling parent was a fitting punishment for her. HOW THE HELL IS THIS ANY DIFFERENT FROM THAT? If anything, this episode really shows the double standards this show has about child abuse, how the only way your situation can be taken seriously is if you're a “good victim”. Chloe's a “bad victim”, so she doesn't get any sympathy when her mother outright says she's going to take control of her life, yet when Colt actually takes control of Felix's life, we're supposed to sympathize with him now. Why am I supposed to feel bad for Felix now when you just told me I shouldn't feel bad for someone in a similar situation last episode?
In fact, one theory I have about this backstory is that it was intended to kill two birds with one stone, no pun intended. I believe that this episode wasn't just written to give us more insight into who Felix is as a character, but also to show the audience what “real” child abuse is like. As far as the show is concerned with Gabriel, Audrey, and Tomoe? They're not actually abusive parents, Colt is, so you should condemn his actions, and not those three. It's blatant double standards, which is nothing new for this show.
#3: The Way Amelie Just... Lets This All Happen
In my “Derision” review, I discussed how strange it was that so many people in Marinette's life did nothing to help her against Chloe, and the same thing applies here with Amelie.
This episode never really explains where Amelie was when Colt was abusing Felix, much less if she was even aware of it. At least with Marinette's parents, they didn't know because most of Marinette's suffering was at school. Amelie lives with Felix and Colt, so what's her excuse? She seriously didn't overhear Colt yelling at Felix or notice the orders Colt gave Felix? Was she just that ignorant to her child's suffering? Remember, this is supposed to be Felix's good parent.
In fact, does Amelie even know Felix is a Sentimonster? Yeah, “Emotion” established that Amelie knows Felix is Argos, but this episode doesn't really make it clear if she knows Felix is a Sentimonster or not. If it was clear Amelie knew nothing about what Felix really was, it would arguably make things easier to stomach, as she wouldn't know the power Colt had over him.
Instead, even though she's Felix's mother, the show doesn't really explain what she actually did when Colt was making Felix's life a living hell, especially since the flashback says that Amelie was forced to marry Colt, so you can't even say she was blinded by love here. Hell, I'm not even sure if Amelie knew the cause of Colt's untimely passing.
#4:This Doesn’t Really Do Much to Explain Felix’s Actions
Now before you say I'm being insensitive, let me make one thing clear: My issue isn't with the fact that this was done to get the audience to sympathize with Felix. The problem I have is that the backstory doesn't do enough to explain why Felix did the things he did.
Okay, Felix wants the Peacock Miraculous. Understandable, he doesn't want to die, so he has to do morally questionable things to preserve his life like betraying the only person capable of stopping the man who can kill him. What's less understandable is his plan to get the Peacock Miraculous from Gabriel. You'll notice that the backstory didn't mention Felix's first appearance, where he only stole the rings belonging to Amelie's family, and he didn't even think to look for the Peacock. Instead, it cuts from Felix realizing he's a Sentimonster to him striking a deal with Gabriel, not even mentioning that he gave Gabriel back one of the rings as part of the deal, which still makes no sense.
If Felix's goal from the start was to get the Peacock Miraculous, why did he bother stealing all of Marinette's Miraculous as a bargaining chip for the deal instead of the family ring? In fact, why did Felix even steal the ring and wait an entire season to trade it back to Gabriel for the Peacock a season later? And for someone who claims to care about Adrien, he really didn't see anything wrong with giving Gabriel one of the two rings capable of overriding his free will.
As a matter of fact, why the hell is Felix even so hostile towards Adrien? Why did he go out of his way to smear his reputation in his debut episode if all he wanted to do was make a bargain with Hawkmoth? In “Risk”, he mocked Adrien for how he talked, while Adrien himself was aware of how he made him look bad in front of his friends, and that's not even getting into how he made himself look like Adrien as part of his plan to betray Ladybug, which would have screwed him even more if Adrien wasn't already Cat Noir. For someone who claims he wants to protect him from Gabriel, Felix really doesn't care about his cousin all that much.
In fact, why does Felix even hate Gabriel at all? The show hinted that the two had a history, yet during the backstory, which I need to remind you, was told from Felix's perspective on the events, has a surprisingly generous portrayal of Gabriel. Did Felix know Gabriel was Hawkmoth/Shadowmoth/Monarch during his first appearance? Does Felix blame Gabriel for how Colt treated him growing up? Does Felix hate Gabriel for how he treats Adrien? Did Gabriel intend to get Colt sick in the first place? Seriously, what is Felix's deal with Gabriel?!
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How does a flashback organized by Felix himself do nothing to really explain why he did the things he did?
#5: The Fact That There Are STILL Several Unanswered Questions Here
For something meant to fill the audience in on several important topics, there are still so many questions about the history of the Agreste and Graham de Vanily families.
Other than the vague backstory about them being rich, we still know nothing about Emilie and Amelie other than them being rich and possibly infertile. We don't know if Amelie ever loved Colt, if she knew he was abusing Felix, or if she even knew if he used the Peacock to play god.
On a related note, why did Emilie and Gabriel decide to use the Peacock Miraculous to create a son instead of adopting? Scratch that, why did she specifically create a Sentimonster to give birth to like a normal baby? Was there some kind of Macbeth-esque guideline that Emilie had to give birth to a child in order for said child to get the inheritance? Did she use the ring to control Adrien like Gabriel does now? Seriously, this is the character the show's conflict is all based around, and we still know nothing about her other than the fact that she was nice.
This flashback just makes no sense, and is such a stupid and confusing way to deliver exposition.
Anyway, during all this, Cat Noir and Nightormentor are fighting, and for the third time this season, Cat Noir attempts to Cataclysm him someone, even when he had Nightormentor pinned down. Nightormentor breaks free and hits Cat Noir with his magic dust, causing him to hallucinate... Cat Blanc?
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Yeah, the script calls this form “Anticat”, but given how it looks like a reused Cat Blanc model coupled with the petrified people of Paris, this is clearly meant to bring Cat Blanc to mind. The problem is that NEITHER CAT NOIR OR NIGHTORMENTOR KNOW ABOUT THAT. Why would you remind audiences about an Akuma that technically never existed?
Better yet, is this what Cat Noir trying to his Cataclysm on people this past season (Destruction, Jubilation, Derision) has been building up to? The fear that he'll lose control? You could have fooled me, as he never really showed that much remorse for almost hurting people other than Monarch. Yeah, you could argue that because Nightormentor based his hallucinations off his victims' worst fears, but again, this fear had little to no buildup this season because Cat Noir never felt any guilt for Cataclysming Monarch after “Destruction”, and whenever tried to use his Cataclysm on other people, Cat Noir never really realized the weight of his actions. If you want to make a character arc about Cat Noir worrying about hurting people with his powers, go more into the guilt he feels for hurting Monarch and using that guilt to affect his actions. Don't just use some “Cat Blanc” nostalgia bait to convince the audience that there's been a character arc.
Nightormentor takes advantage of Cat Noir's emotional state to get his Miraculous, only for the Resistance to save Cat Noir by... throwing stuff at him. And this is how they defeat him. While Nino, Alya, Ivan, and Zoe distract Nightormentor, Kim and Max help Cat Noir focus, Cat Noir Cataclysms Nightormentor's baton.
Zoe traps the Akuma in a jar, Cat Noir doesn't take it, he heads off to detransform and confess to Marinette, only for the hallucination to still affect him since Ladybug didn't use Miraculous Ladybug to fix the damage, and even though he knows it's just a hallucination, he still uses it as a reason to not reveal his identity to Marinette, even after Ladybug de-evilizes the Akuma herself.
The episode ends with Gabriel and Tomoe locking Adrien and Kagami in these white rooms while under heavy surveillance to ensure they won't escape, vowing to start “Operation: Perfect Alliance”. Because these two like using the word “perfect” more than they like subjecting their children to what one of my anons referred to as “white torture”.
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Because that's a good way to keep your children under control: psychological torment.
Other than the stuff with Felix and Kagami, this episode was pretty dull.
There's just not much I can really say here. The plot was barebones, all Marinette did was listen to Felix and Kagami's story so the writers didn't have to involve any of them in the main conflict, and even Cat Noir confronting his akumatized father doesn't have a lot of weight to it because towards the end, it focuses more on Adrien's nightmare instead of his relationship with his father.
This episode is nothing more than a prologue for the final battle. It's only here to establish Adrien and Kagami's presence in London, Marinette learning Gabriel is Monarch, and even more setup for Gabriel and Tomoe's final plan. And trust me, the buildup will be far from worth it.
THE BIGGEST IDIOT OF THE EPISODE IS... FELIX
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It's amazing. The only time this season Felix goes out of his way to actually help Ladybug, and he still screws it up. He abducted Kagami from her hotel in London without thinking of Tomoe hunting him down again when that was the entire plot of “Pretension”, only decided to tell Marinette he knows who Monarch is because he's getting in the way of his relationship with his girlfriend, did so in an unnecessarily convoluted way, and even though he made a big deal about not wanting to use Sentimonsters in his last appearance, he still used one to tell Marinette his life story instead of just saying “My uncle is Monarch”.
And if you think Felix will get a chance to truly redeem himself in the finale, think again, bucko. Other than a brief cameo, this is the last thing he'll do this season. Aren't you glad the writers made this character prominent for seven episodes over three seasons and did nothing else with him?
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