#I'm not going to pull the “I'm a woman when it benefits me” card but like oh my God

[robinofgothamcity]

scenario: you start seeing Jon which leads to the two of you having to hide it from your family and especially Damian.

pairing: jon kent ( superboy ) x fem! reader

note: not checked for grammar or spelling mistakes / can you tell my kent family hyperfixation hasn't left yet? i swear it's becoming an issue lmaooo but this might actually be the longest fic i've written for this blog.

you talked with your friends who you had snuck into the gala with. Rachel had begrudgingly agreed to come to meanwhile Cass and Steph were the only other ones who agreed to come on their own accord.

"Damian, your only friend is here," Dick said, earning a kick from his younger brother before getting up and leaving you and Raven alone. you knew it was a rare occasion that she even decided to show up so you didn't want to leave her alone. "we probably won't see my brother for the rest of the night. whenever his friend comes, it's like everyone becomes a background character. for him being my adopted 'twin' brother, I have yet to meet this friend."

Raven laughed as you saw the wine that the couple on the dance left on your table drunkenly. the bottle was little more than half-filled and you gave one quick look to Raven before pouring the wine into both of your glasses and discarding it right away.

"to not having fun for the rest of the night," you giggled as the two of you chugged the wine down in a mere few seconds, "drier than I thought it would be but it beats having to pay for it," Raven muttered as you agreed to sneak another bottle from the bartender so you wouldn't have to pay for it. even with your dad paying for all your necessities, the drinks at his galas were far too expensive for you to even willingly pay for them yourself. the only reason why he even paid for all your expenses was because you agreed to skip out on college to help run some parts of Wayne Enterprises with your brother.

another reason why you couldn't exactly go and pay for it yourself was because Bruce was not one to exactly be chippy at the idea of you getting plastered drunk at one of his public galas. "I got one of two ideas. one: I'll go flirt with the bartender and you can sneak behind him and get the other bottle or two: I can flirt with the bartender for enough time to see if he'll just willingly give it to us," you told Raven as she nodded with option two.

the bartender happened to be in his younger 50s. you recognized him from previous WE events and although he was familiar with your family, you doubted that he would say anything to your dad about you flirting him with. all you had to do was push the top of the dress down a bit and hike up the bottom to get his attention.

"hey Martin," you said, leaning up against the bar table and smiling, "enjoying the night?" you asked as you saw him flinch back in surprise. he nodded, trying to divert his eyes from looking at you in anyway you could have felt to be disrespectful.

"I was thinking, how much does the bottle of Lafite Rothschild go for?" you asked, giving him a pouty face. he gulped nervously, "almost ten grand ma'am," he replied, grabbing it from the wine stand, "even for me? I mean, my dad must've paid for it so does it even go for that much considering I am his child?" he asked.

you could tell that you had caught him in a predicament, "I would assume not, I assume you're twenty one, right?" he murmured, handing you the precious bottle. you smiled (a fake one that anyone could see through) and nodded before giving the old man a light kiss on the cheek, "thanks Martin, I appreciate it," you said, giving him a wave before leaving.

Raven perked up seeing the bottle in your hand, "snagged a ten thousand dollar bottle," you said excitedly as you waved it in your hand. Raven stared at you in shock, "you got a ten thousand dollar bottle in less than five minutes?" she exclaimed.

you giggled before whispering in her ear, "the benefits of being a child of Bruce Wayne is that you can practically get away with anything. especially when you're the daughter." you popped open the bottle as you handed her the wine glass and poured the drink with care. you gave her a slight cheers before taking a small sip and being pleasantly surprised that it wasn't as dry for a wine with a huge amount of alcohol percentage.

as the night progressed, you and Raven got actively more drunk. you hadn't realized how hard the wine had hit you until Raven was drunkenly getting pulled home by Gar as you sat at the table with a little less than the bottle still full. you hadn't seen your dad or brother all night and you figured they must've been pulled into doing Batfamily work at some point and left you alone with Steph or Cass. hell, maybe even Dick if he was still around.

you weren't actively apart of the vigilante work all of your siblings did but you did help them out with the technical parts of it when Tim wasn't available. you didn't really like fighting or risking your life so after you graduated, you interned at Wayne Enterprises under Tim's orders while Damian worked under your dad.

at the age of twenty-one, you still hadn't met most of the league for the exception of Wonder Woman and The Flash. the rest were strangers in your head and much to Damian's luck, he wanted to keep it that way. at least in his case with Jon.

"ow, I am so sorry," you slurred as you managed to hit someone on the shoulder. he chuckled seeing as how you were not attempting to get up, "you okay there ma'am?" the man with a southern accent asked. you giggled as you attempted to get up, "I'm ( your name ) and you are?" you asked.

"Jon Kent, pleasure to meet you," he said, kissing your hand. you blushed as you heard one of your favorite songs come through the speakers, "would you like to dance?" you asked, not even caring that you had met this just a few mere seconds ago. he nodded, figuring that since Damian left him stranded at the gala, he had nothing to lose.

the song 'telepatia' by Kali Uchis played throughout the ballroom. Jon immediately took the reigns as the lead as the lights got dimmer and you danced against Jon sensually. "what got you dragged here?" you asked Jon. "my best friend invited me as his plus one. you?" he whispered in your ear, "I work for the company so I kind of had to attend," you managed to say before turning around and facing him.

you looked at Jon with drunken yet loving eyes, "you're handsome, you know that?" you said with no hesitation in your face. Jon laughed, placing his hand on your cheek, "right back at ya, darlin'," he replied as the song switched to another one of your favorite songs.

side to side by ariana grande started.

you shrugged, feeling as though you had nothing to lose and got up on your toes gave Jon a kiss on his lips. he was slightly taken back but played it off by returning it. the two of you remained kissing through the entirety of the song until Jon felt a familiar tap on his shoulder.

"I gotta go but if you're up for it, I'd love for ya to give me your number," you nodded excitedly as you practically snatched his phone from his hand and typed it in as quickly as possible with your name having a hundred emoji's next to it, "text me in the morning!" you screamed.

Jon laughed before following Damian from behind, "you suck, you know that!" Jon exclaimed, "I meet one girl I actually like and you drag me away!" Damian rolled his eyes, "please, you act like there isn't more girls out there to hit on." this time, it was Jon's turn to roll his eyes, "I got her number so I guess that's a plus."

you woke up the next morning with a pounding headache but to a few messages on your phone. you smiled realizing that it was the boy you had met the night before.

"good morning...or actually good afternoon!"

Jon laughed from his side of the phone.

"good afternoon darlin'. I hope you had a good sleep."

you were texting your way down the stairs, greeting Alfred and Bruce before grabbing a plate of lunch and sitting down on the bar top. "what time you'd make it home?" Bruce asked, sensing the hangover you had. "a bit past midnight. drank a bottle of Lafite with Raven before dancing with a boy you invited," you said honestly.

Bruce felt himself go stiff at the admittance of you drinking the Lafite bottle but remained silent as Alfred placed Advil and one of your Gatorades next to you. "yeah, whoever must've danced with you last night must've been drunk too because you'd want to dance with you?" Damian said coming down the stairs.

you threw him a fork, Damian dodging it with ease, "I'd shut up if I were you. I'm actually getting coffee with the guy in like an hour," you replied, chugging down the rest of the food before getting up and going to your room, "yeah and I pray for the man who now has to deal with you," Damian screamed loud enough for you to hear.

you pulled on a skirt and tights before slipping on a sweater and fixing your hair and quickly doing your makeup. you grabbed the keys from your bag and took the back entrance to get to your car. one of the benefits of getting paid so much was that you were able to afford cars that were out of price range for a lot of people your age.

the coffee shop you decided to meet Jon at was a few blocks into the heart of central Gotham. you got a table farthest from the crowd as you didn't want any attention on you and your potential boyfriend. you saw Jon approaching at the front of the coffee shop and pulled on your sunglasses so no one outside could see who you were.

"nice to meet you, this time with me not being drunk," you told Jon, giving him a friendly kiss on the cheek, "pleasure is all mine sweetheart," he replied, putting his arm around your shoulder. you got up to the front of cashier and scanned the menu.

"I'd like a venti mocha with oatmilk, what about you?" you asked Jon as he scanned the menu nervously before muttering that he hardly orders coffee. you smiled, "and an order of a grande peppermint hot chocolate," you added on as you took your card out, Jon's eyes widening at the black American Express card.

"wow, Wayne Enterprises must pay you really well," he exasperated, "yeah, I guess you could say that," you said as hesitantly as possible. after the two of you got the coffees, you got back to the table as you took off your sunglasses in a sigh of relief.

"do you really wear sunglasses everywhere you go?" Jon asked. you debated on telling him the actual reason but decided on a vague answer, "eh, it's more for secrecy. I guess if I get another date, I might tell you the real reason," you winked, making Jon blush.

+

through the weeks, you decided to keep the biggest part of your life a semi secret to Jon still. he knew vaguely of a few things but one mistake on your end managed to throw all of that away in more ways than one.

you were walking downtown with Jon, his hand grasping yours as the two of you roamed an area of town that you knew didn't have major significance to WE. you were holding a coffee in one hand as you walked about a few things that happened to you that week to Jon. it wasn't until you walked towards a busy street that your heart fell to your stomach.

a huge billboard, like signs you would see on highways, of you and Damian representing Wayne Enterprises stood in the middle of an intersection. you stared at the ground, your one secret given away as Jon stared down at you, a look of shock in his eyes.

"wait, you work with Damian Wayne?" he asked as he could tell that you did not want to look at him. you sighed, a bit scared, "work partners might be a little too far from what we are," you gulped, finally realizing that you had to admit to your family ties.

Jon looked at you, now more confused than shocked.

what you didn't know was that at the same time that you were about to confess everything to Jon, a paparazzi had taken dozens of photos of you and Jon that were immediately uploaded to various Twitter accounts and gossip magazines.

"Damian Wayne is my adopted brother. Bruce Wayne is my adopted dad. that's why I have a lot more money than any regular Wayne Enterprise worker."

Jon immediately stumbled to the ground, not expecting that answer coming from you. you immediately felt tears hitting your eyes as you figured that maybe Jon didn't want to be with someone so rich and famous. someone's whose family was always in the spotlight.

"DAMIAN WAYNE IS YOUR BROTHER?" Jon screamed, catching you off guard as this was the first time Jon had ever screamed at you. you nodded, trying not to look at him in the eyes, "he's going to kill me. your entire family is going to plot my murder. I'm a dead man. Clark is going to find me in a ditch," Jon started talking to himself.

it was now your turn to look at Jon confused, "wait, what?" you asked, wiping your tears. "YOUR BROTHER IS MY BEST FRIEND. Damian Wayne is Robin and I'm Superboy!" he whispered the last part, "I've been dating my best friends sister this entire time without realizing it!" he screamed.

you finally connected the dots. every time Damian said he was going on patrol with Superboy meant that he was going to hang out with Jon and every time Damian said that Jon turned down a patrol session usually meant that you were going on a date with him. both of you stared at each other, not knowing what to say.

"small world, eh?" you asked, trying to defuse the tension, "guess we better figure out a way to tell them, huh?" Jon replied as you both heard your phone going off with texts and calls. you opened it to see that Dick, Bruce, Tim, and even Jason and Alfred were frantically calling you.

"hello, what happened?" you asked, picking up Dick's call. "GET HOME NOW!" he yelled through the phone as you heard Damian's screeching voice from the other side, "why? what happened?" you asked, staring at Jon now in fear.

"SHE'S DATING JON? I'M GOING TO KILL HIM BEFORE I KILL HER!" you heard Damian scream before something broke, "pictures of you kissing Jon came to the public on Twitter and he saw them," Jason said, half annoyed.

both of your hearts fell to your stomach as you realized it was now or never. everyone knew of your relationship and it wasn't even something both of you tried to do intentionally. you grabbed Jon's hand, yours shaking in fear as you got into the passenger side of his beat up red truck. he could tell you were beyond scared to go home and he now knew it was time. he had to man up before it got worse and you attempted to break up with him.

once you arrived to Wayne Manor, you sat still, not moving an inch. "it'll be okay darlin', I promise it won't be too bad," he murmured as he opened your door. you nodded as you hopped off and started walking towards the door.

you could hear Damian's yells still going on from the other side door as you opened it. you grasped Jon's hand and walked into the living space, Damian's eyes immediately looking at you before charging to Jon with every ounce of strength he had. Jason quickly grabbed you as Jon dodged him and Damian went straight to attack him again. you couldn't bare to look at the sight and felt tears spring to your eyes as you hid your face into Jason's side.

"hey, you okay?" Jason asked. he could see the tears in your eyes which instantly made him a bit upset. "enough," Jason screamed, catching everyone's attention. Jon and Damian saw the hurt look on your face and as soon as Jon realized you were upset at the fight he was having, he kicked Damian off of him and walked towards you.

he grabbed your hand and whispered an apology into your ear as he stroked your cheek lovingly, "I'm sorry dear but I wasn't expecting Damian to do this," Jon said as Damian watched the way Jon was treating you. a part of him knew that Jon would treat you right. Jon wasn't like your typical average boy but the fact that neither of you told him is what set him off and seeing you being so lovingly with Jon set him off again.

Damian ran towards Jon again but this time, you shielded him which made him stop immediately, "Damian, stop, please," you croaked. Bruce saw you trying to neutralize the situation and stood next to Damian, hinting at him to quit it, "I'm sorry we never told you but the reason why we never did was because we had no idea who the other was. I didn't know Jon was your best friend and clearly didn't know that he was Superboy and he had no idea I was even related to you nevertheless your sister. please, if it's anyone's fault, it's mine," you explained.

Dick, Jason, and Tim stared at Jon who grabbed your hand and pulled you to the side, "and I would have never made the move if I knew she was your sister but we fell in love and it was like a soulmate connection. we were meant for each other and I want her to be in my life. she's it for me," Dick sighed mesmerized as Tim and Jason gagged at the cheesy confession.

Damian growled, "if you even think of hurting her, Clark will be down one son and I mean it. that's my sister and no man will ever be good enough for her. you are my best friend and she might be a pain in my ass, she means the world to me. I will not hesitate to dig your grave and bury you alive if I see one tear of sadness coming down her face," Damian stated before hitting Jon on the shoulder purposely before walking away.

you smiled, your heart swelling at Damian's speech. he never once said anything like that about you and in his Damian way of being, you knew this was his way of accepting your relationship with Jon. you smiled at Jon before giving him a huge kiss on the lips, making your dad and all of your brothers gag at the sight.

"okay, save that shit for privacy, no one needs to see that," Jason said as he walked away. Bruce gave you one look before turning to Jon, "your father knows in case you were wondering but feel free to stay for dinner if you'd like," Bruce said before walking away with Tim and Dick walking away with him.

"I love you," you whispered to Jon as he let out a laugh against your lips, "I love you too and I'm all of this was cleared out." you nodded in agreement as you grasped his hand, "wanna come up to my room? I figured we should catch some sleep before Alfred calls everyone for dinner and Damian starts another fight," Jon agreed, giving you a kiss on your head as the two of you walked up the stairs.

[matrixaffiliate]

Redamancy

New Story! FFN and AO3

"I've done something dumb." Lily groaned as she looked up at Marlene from the sofa. "If it's like every other dumb thing you've done, I'm going to my room." "No, this time I've done something well and truly stupid." Marlene eyed her from her lounge chair, skeptic to the last. "Out with it then." Lily took a deep breath. "I told Petunia I had a boyfriend."

A gift for lovely @petalstofish as part of the Potterverse Gift Exchange! Merry Christmas, love!

Redamancy

"I've done something dumb." Lily groaned as she looked up at Marlene from the sofa.

"If it's like every other dumb thing you've done, I'm going to my room."

"No, this time I've done something well and truly stupid."

Marlene eyed her from her lounge chair, skeptic to the last. "Out with it then."

Lily took a deep breath. "I told Petunia I had a boyfriend."

Marlene blinked. "Honestly, Lil, I thought you'd actually done something worth batting an eye at."

Lily groaned and tossed the card in her hand at Marlene. "Read that and tell me I haven't been an idiot."

Marlene shrugged and handed it back. "So Petunia gave you a plus one to her wedding for your non-existent boyfriend. Tell her that he can't make it because he can't get work off, or because he'll be with his family. Honestly, only your sister would get married on Boxing Day."

"Then she'll know I was lying!" Lily tossed the invitation on the sofa next to her. "The only reason she's even giving me the plus one is to call my bluff and then rub it in my face that I have no one and she has Vermin."

"I'd rather have no one than be saddled with that blob." Marlene came to sit next to her on the sofa. "Is it really that big of a deal? What if you brought me instead? My family doesn't have anything planned after Christmas."

"Yes and no." Lily leant against Marlene's shoulder. "I can't bring you because Petunia would kill me."

"Always happy to leave lasting impressions," Marlene chuckled. "Good to know that she hasn't forgotten it's not appropriate to infer a woman is a prostitute just because she enjoys leather pants."

Lily smiled at the memory, "Exactly. But I can't just show up alone because I'll never hear the end of how she sacrificed a seat at her wedding for my non-existent boyfriend and how awful and ungrateful a sister I am."

It was quiet between them for a moment and Lily tried to push away the dread building in her stomach by pulling her jumper tighter around her.

"Well, I guess you need a stand-in boyfriend."

Lily lifted her head from Marlene's shoulder. "A what?"

"Someone to play the part just for the day of the wedding."

"A fake boyfriend? Where on earth am I supposed to come up with a fake boyfriend in six weeks?"

"You could take Sirius," Marlene tapped her chin as she thought.

Lily shook her head. "No offense, but there's absolutely no way I'm pretending your friend with benefits is my boyfriend."

Marlene smirked but said nothing and Lily tried not to guess where her friend's mind was.

"Remus then?"

"He's with his family all that week. I'm not asking him to leave his mum just to be my date for one day. You know she's not doing well."

Marlene opened her mouth to say more but Lily cut her off.

"And before you say Peter, Petunia already knows he and Bridget got married last year."

"I wasn't going to say Peter," Marlene's smirk widened. "I happen to know that James is very much available the day after Christmas. According to Sirius, the Potters take Boxing Day as an excuse to not get out of their pajamas."

Lily felt her mouth go dry. "I can't ask James."

"Why not?"

"You know why not!" Lily fell back against the couch with a huff. "You do not ask the man you secretly fancy to be your fake boyfriend to your sister's wedding, and especially not when he'd rather be spending it with his family."

"Maybe this is a way for you to stop fancying him in secret."

"Or to ruin a perfectly good friendship."

"Can you think of anyone else?"

Lily groaned. "No. I guess this means Petunia wins this round."

Marlene stood, "Well, if you're willing to give up that easily, I'll leave you to it, but I still think you should ask James."

Lily felt Marlene's words like a bee sting.

She wasn't giving up, Lily reasoned as Marlene shut her door. She was admitting defeat.

But the longer she sat there listening to Marlene's speakers playing Fairytale of New York through her door, the more Lily didn't want this hanging over her head for the next seventy-five years. She didn't want this brought up at every family gathering. She didn't want Petunia to win.

And then, as if Fate was trying to give her a push, her phone buzzed with a text message from the man who might just be able to save her.

James: you busy?

Lily couldn't help the smile that streaked across her face as she read his text.

Lily: No. Just sitting on my couch.

James: i know its cold and very wet out, but would you maybe want to go for a hike with me? after last summer i promised mum i wouldn't go by myself anymore

Lily thought Mia was right to extract the promise from her son. He'd decided to try and save a young deer from some fishing line it had become tangled in, but the deer was obviously spooked and once free had kicked James in the chest, breaking four ribs in the process. He'd had to make his way almost a mile out to the trailhead while his ribs tried to puncture his lungs.

And while she would much prefer an early summer hike to a late autumn hike, Lily did have all the items to keep her dry and warm.

She could go, for Mia of course.

Lily: Sure, want me to meet you at the trailhead?

James: nah, ill be there to pick you up in 20

Lily responded with a thumbs-up emoji and then moved to get ready, wondering if Fate was trying to tell her that asking James to be her fake boyfriend for Petunia's wedding day was the right move.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"This is beautiful," Lily sighed and looked out over the lake. A light frost still clung to a few of the shrubs surrounding them.

James bumped her shoulder, "See you should come out with me more often."

Lily paused. Maybe James had just given her the perfect way for both of them to get what they wanted.

"I have an idea."

"I bet it's a good one."

"You need someone to hike with, especially now that it's cold, so you can go as often as you used to."

James raised his eyebrows at her. "Yeah."

Lily bit her lip. "I need a plus one for Petunia's wedding, on Boxing Day."

"Why did she give you a plus one? That doesn't sound in character for your sister at all." James furrowed his brow.

"It is when you consider why she gave it to me." Lily fiddled with her water bottle.

"And what's the reason?"

"I got into a fight with her, again."

"That sounds like a reason she'd uninvite you."

"Well," Lily suddenly didn't feel like the idea was so amazing. "She dug into her having someone and me being single and I was so angry that I blurted out that I had a boyfriend."

James let out a low whistle.

"And this is her calling your bluff, huh?"

"Right." Lily kept her eyes on the dirt below her hiking shoes.

"Lily," James' gloved hand wrapped around hers and Lily forced an even breath. "Are you asking me to play your fake boyfriend for Petunia's wedding?"

"I'm sorry," Lily shook her head. "I shouldn't have-"

"Lily." James cut her off as he squeezed her hand. "Of course, I'll help you. And don't feel like you need to hike with me to get it. I'm your friend, I don't need a reason to help you."

"I'll still hike with you," Lily looked up, excitement and panic pounding through her so fast she wanted to rip off her coat. "I know how much you love hiking, I'll make sure I can come out with you at least once a week."

James laughed, "You'll have legs of steel and be ready to live with Father Christmas and his reindeer if we're out here once a week."

"I could use a good bout of exercise, combat the holiday weight and all." Lily bumped his shoulder. "But you're sure?"

James wrapped his arm around her shoulders and Lily couldn't help but lean into him. "I'm sure, Lils. Let's make Petunia look the fool."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Ready for your date?" Marlene teased as she checked her red lips in Lily's mirror.

"This isn't a date."

"Sure it isn't."

"If this is a date then you and Sirius are more than just friends with benefits." Lily retorted.

Something flashed in Marlene's eyes but it was gone in an instant and she laughed. "Well played. So are you ready for your fake date with your fake boyfriend?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "James just thought we should practice before Saturday."

"And hiking with him every Saturday for a month and a half hasn't been enough practice?" Marlene sat on Lily's bed. "Or the increase in text messages and phone calls?"

"We're friends." Lily tried to brush off Marlene's digging. "All of those interactions we've just been friends. But James pointed out that we haven't practiced being closer and it's bound to look fake if the first time we hold hands or slow dance is at the wedding."

"So this is your dress rehearsal?" Marlene handed Lily her clutch.

"Exactly."

"Break a leg, I suppose. And may I add that you should practice kissing, just in case."

"Just in case what?" Lily felt heat rush to her cheeks. "What, why, why on earth would I need to kiss James at Petunia's wedding?"

Marlene hopped off Lily's bed with a smirk. "You never know."

Lily did know though, and there was absolutely no reason to give her stupid crush any more fuel than she already had. Seeing James so frequently and spending hours with him talking and laughing and just being together was giving her heart all sorts of fodder.

It really wasn't a good thing, but Lily wasn't about to stop it.

James was bailing her out of her lie, the least she could do was hike with him. And if hiking with him included hours of time spent close to him, and trips to the cafe afterward to warm up, well she'd just have to hope her heart didn't break when this all ended.

James knocked on the door as Lily checked her reflection once more, adjusting her dark green velvet top.

No, she was not dressing up for him...she was, she was trying to look festive, thank you very much. Christmas was just a week away. It was normal to dress up for Christmas.

"Wow," James blinked at her from the front step, his black coat undone to reveal his blue jumper.

"Oh," Lily felt panic starting to form in her chest, "Am I dressed up too much? I didn't even think to ask you what we were doing. I-"

"Lily," James chuckled, "It's just dinner and a little Christmas concert at a pub my parents suggested."

"Right, good, that'll be good, to practice I mean." She fiddled with the neckline of her blouse.

James looked down at his shoes a moment before smiling back at her.

"Shall we practice then?" He held out his hand.

Lily swallowed but forced a smile as she slipped on her coat and took his hand. Electricity tingled through her fingers and palm all the way up her arm and across her neck, leaving Lily gasping for breath.

"Yeah." Embarrassed by the lack of substance behind her voice, Lily cleared her throat and tried again. "This was a good idea."

James' hazel eyes had gone dark, his smile shifting as he looked down at her.

"I think so too."

James apparently meant what he said about practicing being a real couple. He didn't stop touching Lily at all through the entire night, and it was a problem because that hold she was trying to keep on her heart stood no chance against James' constant touch.

His hand was on her back, then his fingers were intertwined with hers.

While they sat at dinner his foot found hers and slid from her ankle up her calf and back again.

His arm wrapped around her shoulders at the concert and when he spoke to her he leant in close enough that his warm breath teased her neck with its gentle kiss.

And Lily leant into all of it.

She couldn't help herself.

Every time she bothered to realize where her hands were she'd find they were wrapped around James, his hands, his arms, his waist, even gripping his jumper at one point. She was honestly surprised that she hadn't unknowingly put them in his hair.

This pretending was too easy. Lily was too attached to James to keep this fake, and she knew it.

But what could she do?

"Let's go to the back and dance," James' voice was low as his lips brushed against her ear. The band was playing their rendition of Silver Bells , perfect for a slow dance.

Lily looked to the back of the pub, ready to say that they shouldn't, only to find at least ten other couples already swaying slowly as they held each other close.

"Come on." James' took her hand. "It'll be good practice."

Right, practice.

Lily tried not to let her disappointment at the reason James was being this close to her show on her face.

"Good idea," She smiled up at him and let James lead her to where the other couples were dancing.

She assumed he'd take her hand and lead her through some dance that his posh upbringing would have taught him and she would attempt to stumble her way through it. She had even watched and practiced with a few YouTube tutorials, trying to not make both of them look like fools.

James, however, had other ideas.

He spun her around once, then caught her elbows and guided her arms up around his neck. His hands traced along her arms, lighting her up like a Christmas tree, then down her sides to rest on her hips, pulling her closer.

Every single touch left Lily buzzing. Gasping. Silently hoping for just a bit more.

"Has tonight been alright?" James' thumbs rubbed against her hips and Lily struggled to think straight.

"It's been a wonderful fake date," Lily braved a smile.

"Not too weird to pretend to be madly in love with a tosser like me?"

Lily shook her head, hoping he couldn't see in her eyes how much her silly crush was shifting to a whole new level.

A dangerous level.

"Not at all."

"And this is alright?" James leant his forehead into hers, pulling her just a little closer.

Lily couldn't breathe.

She barely managed an affirmative hum.

"Good," James' voice slid through her like a silk cord, wrapping around her heart and slipping it from the desperate grip she was trying to keep on it.

She should say something. Somewhere in the back of her mind, Lily knew she should say something and break the spell James had woven around her.

She should say something.

Then James pulled her closer, wrapping his arms completely around her waist, bringing their bodies flush against each other, and Lily lost the battle.

There were no two ways about it. In her attempt to thwart Petunia in calling her bluff, Lily had gone and given her heart to James. She'd spent a solid two years being ever so careful, keeping just enough distance between herself and him so that she wouldn't lose his friendship over a silly crush that surely would fade away given enough time. It was out the window now. Nothing she could do would ever put them back to where they'd been before. James could never be just a friend after this.

And to keep herself from the tears, she rested her head against James' shoulder and pretended that the way he held her like he'd given his heart too was real.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Excited?" Marlene came walking into Lily's bedroom, handing over the red heels she was lending to Lily.

Lily put on a smile and nodded as she slipped into the shoes, completing the very Christmas-y ensemble when paired with her green and white dress and her hair swept up with a white poinsettia clip. Not being a bridesmaid stung, but had the fringe benefit of wearing exactly what she wanted.

"It'll be good to see Petunia's face when she realizes that I've actually brought a date."

"Not just a date," Marlene slid onto Lily's bed, "A boyfriend."

Lily tried not to let the sting she felt at Marlene's comment show on her face.

From Marlene's expression, she failed.

"What's wrong?"

Lily shook her head. "Nothing."

"No, not nothing, what's going on?"

"Really Mar, it's nothing."

"Did James hurt you? Because if he did I'm going to-"

"James didn't do anything," Lily quickly cut off her friend.

"Then what's going on?"

"I've done something dumb."

"Will you stop that?" Marlene demanded. "You don't do dumb things!"

Lily's returning laugh was humorless. "Falling for your fake boyfriend is pretty dumb, Marlene."

"Finally!" Marlene squealed, jumping up from the bed and wrapping Lily in a hug.

"This isn't a good thing!" Lily protested, pushing Marlene off of her. "James and I are friends!"

"The best relationships are based on friendship, Lils."

"But he doesn't feel that way about me!"

"BS," Marlene started typing on her phone.

"Don't you dare text him!" Lily lunged for Marlene's phone but she jumped out of the way.

"Chill! I'm texting Sirius! And you usually don't like when I share these texts but if you really want reassurance you're welcome to read the whole thread."

"Ew," Lily grimaced. "Fine, but please don't intervene. James doesn't feel the same way about me and I'm trying to figure out how to stop these feelings before he realizes that I'm overly attached and ends our friendship."

"And Sirius calls me dramatic." Marlene threw her curls over her shoulder. "Look, just talk to him about it, alright? Do it tonight."

Lily's phone rang and she swallowed at James' smiling face on her screen.

"James is probably here, I'll see you tonight."

Marlene winked at her. "Or tomorrow morning works too."

Lily glared at Marlene's back but tried to keep the annoyance out of her voice as she answered her phone.

"Hi, James."

"Hey, Lils, I'm just about to yours, but I wanted to know if you prefer almond poppy seed, blueberry, banana nut, or chocolate chunk muffins?"

"They're all good to me, James." She adjusted the neckline of her dress.

"Now, now, don't be like that. Which sounds amazing right now?"

Lily licked her lips. "Honestly, the chocolate chunk, but you really don't-"

"Perfect, I'll be there in ten minutes."

And he ended the call.

Lily stared at her phone, wondering if James really planned to bring muffins to her sister's wedding, before deciding that she'd wait by the window so she could meet him at his car when he arrived. The last thing she wanted was Marlene "accidentally" blurting out things she had no business telling people - mainly James.

True to his word, ten minutes later James rolled up. He jumped out of his car but stumbled when he saw Lily walking towards him.

"I know I keep saying this, but, wow."

Lily smiled, "You look good all bundled up in your coat too."

"Well thank you. Wait till you see this suit without the coat." James closed the distance between them and offered Lily his arm.

"I hope this dress can keep up with it." Lily laughed and took his arm.

"Shall we go and shock your sister?"

"Yes, let's go give Petunia a stomach ulcer."

James' laugh was a booming sound that filled Lily with a warmth that had her wanting to curl up in front of a cozy lit fireplace with him.

But she forced herself to pull away.

She had to stop leaning into him or she'd never salvage any piece of their friendship.

"Now." James slid into the driver's seat. "This box here has two chocolate chunk muffins in it." He handed her the small box. "And this is your tea. I figured we should have some sort of pick-me-up before going into this. And I've noticed many wedding planners forget that people need to eat at these things. So we're covered on all fronts."

Lily swallowed the sudden rush of emotion that hit her.

"Thank you,"

"This is where you tell me what an excellent fake-boyfriend I am," James smirked as he pulled out of the parking space.

Lily laughed, grateful for the humor that broke through her anxiety. Maybe, if he kept her laughing, she could make it through today.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Lily! Who is this?!" Petunia's lips were pressed into the thinnest line Lily had ever seen and her words were sharp as daggers.

"Hi Tuney, this is James, my boyfriend." Lily stepped closer to James, not difficult to do in the small bride's dressing room of the venue Petunia had chosen.

"Your boyfriend?!" Her skin was as pale as the white satin of her wedding dress. "You don't have a boyfriend! You were lying to me! Mum told me you hadn't said anything about seeing someone!"

"Then why, might I ask." James wrapped a protective arm around Lily's waist, pulling her close against him. "Did you include an invite for me if you didn't believe I existed?"

Petunia's glare shifted to James. "I do not know who you are and I do not have to answer you."

Lily felt her temper flare. "I don't care that this is your wedding Petunia, you do actually have to be nice to James."

Heaven knew how much of Vernon Lily had endured.

Petunia opened her mouth to respond but was cut off.

"Lily!" Their mum came into the already crowded room. "I'm so glad you're here, and who is this?"

"James Potter, Mrs. Evans," James took her mum's hand and kissed it as he bent slightly at the hip. "I'm Lily's boyfriend."

Lily's mum smiled broadly, "Well, I'm very happy to meet you!" She turned to Petunia. "That was thoughtful of you to let Lily have her boyfriend here, dear."

"I, I, I-" Petunia stuttered.

"Lily, why don't you take James and get your seats up by mine and your father's." Her mum hugged her with a twinkle in her eye. "We'll be along in about twenty minutes and then we'll have pictures after the ceremony. It'll be another thirty or so minutes after that for dinner."

Lily put on a smile, "Sounds brilliant." She kissed her mum's cheek before taking James' proffered arm and leaving her sister gaping after them.

"That went well," James joked.

"I think Mum knows something is up." Lily swallowed as the unease settled in her stomach.

They walked into the main hall, devoid of any and all Christmas decor. As if getting married on Boxing Day somehow meant Petunia wasn't having her wedding at Christmas time.

"If she does, she took our side back there." James stepped to the side as Lily took her seat. "Besides, I'm so charming she probably forgot to suspect anything."

Lily shoved him but laughed. "Could your head get any bigger?"

"Not so long as I've got you and my mum around." He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her into him. "Relax, Lils, we've got this."

"I hope so."

But as people started coming up to say hello, Lily realized she absolutely did not have this.

Family friends, people she'd known since she was a kid, were coming up and genuinely happy, excited even, to meet her boyfriend. Treating James like one of the family. Making it that much harder for Lily to put distance between her heart and James, between her and James.

Thankfully, and ironically, Petunia saved her from any more well-meaning family or friends by getting the show underway.

But that opened more opportunities for her heart to cling to the facade of a relationship she and James were portraying. The ceremony was beautifully given, and the officiant made Lily long for the kind of companionship they counseled the couple to cultivate and build together. James' arm around her shoulders through the whole thing only served to remind her she'd never have it with him.

And it broke her heart.

The crushing feeling in her chest.

The tightness in her throat that she couldn't swallow away.

The blur of moisture in her vision.

She needed space.

Now.

Before she did something stupid.

Like give in to every desire of her heart and kiss him.

After a quick congratulations to Petunia and Vernon, Lily told James she was stepping to the loo.

And bolted.

Staring herself down in the mirror over the sink, Lily fought for control.

She would not cry.

She absolutely would not cry.

She would be strong.

She would control her heart.

She would get over this.

Over James.

That thought made her stomach cramp.

Lovely.

Now she might cry and vomit.

"Lily?"

Lily turned from gripping the sink to face her mum.

"Hi Mum," Lily forced a smile.

Her mum wrapped her in a long hug. "Darling, what's going on? And please tell me that lovely James is not a paid escort."

Lily couldn't help the laughter that nearly exploded out of her.

"He's a friend, Mum."

"But not your boyfriend?"

Lily looked down at her heels.

"Lily, I could tell two things when I walked into that room and the first one was that you and your sister were trying to outmaneuver each other again."

"She was just so infuriating!" Lily felt the anger seeping back in. "She kept going on and on how when I finally found a man who would look past all my freakishness I'd see her side of it. That I was somehow this poor deprived soul because I wasn't getting married right now!"

"You're not a freak, my Lily." Her mum pulled her back into a hug. "You're the opposite and if I'd known your sister was still calling you that I would have threatened her wedding favors for it."

Lily chuckled and tried to swallow down the threatening tears. "You shouldn't have to keep pushing her to be a decent human being. I'm getting better at handling her."

"Like telling her you had a boyfriend?"

"Yeah," Lily sighed in defeat and rested back against the sink. "But then she called my bluff."

"So you asked James to be your stand-in?"

"He's a good friend, and has put up with more than he deserves already."

"And he's quite taken with you."

Lily paused as her heart latched on to her mum's words. "James is a friend."

"I told you, I could tell two things when I walked in that dressing room, and the second was that the man standing next to you was head over heels for you."

Lily shook her head, but her mother continued.

"I've got a sense about these things, but even if I didn't, it's not hard to catch. Haven't any of your friends pointed it out to you?"

Marlene's insistence over the last two years echoed in her mind, along with the not so subtle hints Sirius had been giving and Lily had written off as teasing.

"You're not the first to mention it."

Her mum squeezed her arm. "So be the woman I raised you to be and make that boy out there yours."

Lily shook her head as a tear escaped down her cheek. "What if he doesn't feel that way about me? What if I lose our entire friendship?"

Her mum pulled her into a hug. "Then I'll be there to help you move forward. But my mother's sense tells me that isn't what's going to happen."

Lily buried her head in her mum's shoulder, breathing in the comforting warmth. "Promise?"

"Promise. I'll even smuggle you out of here if you need it." She nudged Lily to look up at her. "Now, let's get these pictures out of the way and you and James can go find a quiet spot to talk before dinner."

Lily took a deep breath and linked her arm with her mum's trying to give herself courage. "Right, I can do this."

"There's my girl."

Lily didn't know if it was her mum squeezing her arm or the smile James turned on her when she walked up to him, but for the first time since she got the plus one on her invite, Lily felt like maybe she did have this.

Pictures went quickly and James kept his smile on her from his spot near the door until she was assured that she was free till the dinner.

"Hey Lils." James pulled her under his arm. "Everything alright?"

"I think so," Lily smiled up at him. "Want to go find someplace where we can sit for a bit?"

"Definitely." And for the first time, Lily noticed that when James looked at her, his eyes dropped for the briefest moment to her lips.

Maybe her mum - and Marlene - were right.

They meandered through the venue till they found an out of the way bench looking out at the Christmas lights adorning the trees and light posts in the car park. They claimed it for themselves and spent the first few moments enjoying the beauty before them.

"James," Lily broke the silence as she rested her hands in her lap, her fingers running over the red and gold polish of her Christmas manicure. "I really appreciate all of this."

James' hand came to close over hers. "Anything for you, Lils."

Lily stared at their hands, focused on how right it felt to look down and see his fingers intertwined with hers, finding courage in it.

"Have, have you noticed that we're, well, we're kind of good at this?"

"At what, exactly?"

"Well, at being together, being more than what we started as."

His free hand came up to gently cup her chin, guiding her eyes to meet his, the hazel so dark it might have been black.

"What are you saying, Lily?"

Her breath was much harder to pull with his fingers caressing her face, but Lily gave it her best effort.

"I don't want to pretend anymore that I don't fancy you."

James' smile split his face nearly in half and he squeezed her hand. "I would really like to stop pretending I don't fancy you as well."

Lily didn't think she could pull a full breath if her life depended on it, and her voice squeaked as she asked, "Really?"

James nodded as he moved forward at a snail's pace, slowly closing the distance between them.

Then Lily heard her mother's advice echo in her mind; make that boy yours .

She lunged forward.

There was no other word for it.

Lily pushed forward, leveraging off of her knees, and closed what little distance between them James had yet to cover.

Her lips pressed to his in what could only be called bliss.

Finally, finally, every daydream, every hope her heart had secretly harbored, nothing compared to finally having her lips pressed to his.

Lily slowly let their lips part, only to have James move with lightning speed. His hands moved instantly from her chin and fingers to wrap around her waist, nearly pulling her into his lap. His lips were back to hers, this time his tongue tasting, savoring, teasing. And somewhere in that lightning second, Lily realized that her arms were wrapped around his neck, pulling James flush against her, her fingers tangling in his hair.

It was a member of the staff, ushering guests to where the dinner would be served, that managed to make the young couple surface for air.

"Really." James rested his forehead against hers, his hands sliding up and down her waist.

"So are we a real couple now?"

"If not, tell me what will make us a real couple and I'll make it happen."

Lily laughed, leaning in to kiss him again. "I think we need to make plans for a real first date."

"What are you doing on New Year's Eve?"

"Just the McKinnon's party."

"Will you go as my date?"

Lily felt her smile reach cartoon level in size and she couldn't help but laugh as she nodded.

"I'd love to."

James kissed her again. "Happy Christmas, Lily."

"Happy Christmas, James."

[smolcobie]

Hyunjae | Butterfly Effect

↪ Summary: After a dangerous fire, Hyunjae is unable to hide his feelings for you.

Word Count: 3,5k

Warnings: Suggestive | Fire | Friends To Lovers | Heavy Making Out

Genre: Hyunjae x Reader | HYUNJAE FIREFIGHTER AU | Female Reader

Dedicated to my fav deobi friend @santacruz-sand​ <3

Human beings are known for their daily mistakes. We used to say that every day we make a mistake, some don't make that much difference, others can change the course of your life, better known as the butterfly effect. Each action has its reaction, gradually shaping the path you will take in life.

Some say that this is fate, that no matter how much you try to escape, it will happen. Others prefer to believe that you create your own destiny. I didn't believe in any of these theories, in fact, I always preferred to think that it is easier to do your best every day than to be disappointed by the path you took because you thought that this was your destiny after all.

The greatest example that my theory was real, was seeing how my best friend lived. Every single day he left early, before the sun came up, and came back when it was night. Being a firefighter required perfection in his form, discipline, punctuality, courage to face his fears, and a lot of willingness to risk his own life for the benefit of society.

I watched him cautiously, analyzing his ways and manners. The way he slammed the gate hard to make sure it was locked, or how he sighed and gave a silly smile when he managed to do something he liked, but what I liked most was the way he struggled every day to cheer people's lives.

- ▪︎ -

"[NAME], do your best every day and no one will have the courage to speak ill of the way you live." He said with his red cheeks and heavy eyes from the soju he drank.

"What are you talking about? I live very well, you're the one who lives next to my house and keeps risking your life." I laughed, fixing up his fringe that was messy "You're already starting to get drunk, let's go home." I got up pulling on his shirt and he made a weeping face.

"[NAME], why are you so mean to me?" He said slyly and I lifted him up with all my strength hugging him around the waist "Hyunjae, come on, you need to rest." He sighed and started walking making a pout on his lips.

"Stop pouting, you know you need to rest. You work a lot and when you take a break you want to drink soju and philosophize about life with me." I commented while walking down the dark street.

"But you are my best friend, you have to listen to me." I laughed at his comment "If you paid me I could even quit my job, after all, listening to you is all I do." "That's why I love you." He chuckled and put his head on my shoulder as I opened the door to his house, after entering the password.

"I love you too, so go to sleep." I tossed him on the bed and he smiled happily hugging his soft pillow.

- ▪︎ -

It was almost always like this. Hyunjae coming to my house to vent about life, I laugh while making some cards to post on my Instagram and the company. Being a calligraphy artist was a happy part of my life, being able to decorate bookstores, houses, gifts was something that gave me the strength to live.

Hyunjae was such an essential part of my life, that I only realized when our mutual friend asked why we lived so close to each other. My first thought was to think that it would be easier to go out, have fun and talk. My second thought was that I was completely in love with him, and I didn't want to admit it.

It was complicated, an old love that I knew had no way out, but nothing was going to change because I couldn't find any nice guys. I lived with Hyunjae and I had already accepted my condition. Romance went from something I dreamed of as a teenager, to something I value as an adult, but not as much as my sanity.

It was easier to live with Hyunjae than having to go on blind dates with bizarre guys that our friend Sunwoo arranged (probably from the deep web). And I keep ignoring my feelings, being inspired by its way of life.

That day was more beautiful than usual. The sun was shining brightly, the sky was clear and blue, the traffic seemed calm and the weather was perfect for an outdoor meeting, perhaps a date in the park. The subway was surprisingly empty, although it was very early, and I was completely rested.

It seemed like the perfect working day. I had made many cards at the company, sent some orders by mail, and placed new orders for a major literature event that would take place at the company. Lunch was great and our boss was in a good mood telling stories from when she was in college.

The day had gone well, my colleagues finished their jobs earlier than expected so we were able to go out early and eat fried chicken in a new restaurant near the company. I returned home happy and completely shocked at how perfect my day had been.

I got home and changed my shoes. I took a relaxing bath while listening to the news of the day through my radio hanging from the bathroom sink.

"URGENT NEWS! THERE IS A FIRE IN A BUSINESS BUILDING LOCATED IN THE GANGNAM REGION, MANY ARE THREATENING TO JUMP THROUGH THE WINDOWS. SOURCES CONFIRM THAT THE FIRE STARTED BY THE BAD WIRING THAT HAS NOT BEEN CORRECTLY REPLACED. THE FIREFIGHTERS HAVE JUST ARRIVED AND ARE PREPARING TO RELEASE THE PLACE AND REMOVE SURVIVORS. ”

I immediately turned off the shower, drying myself quickly, putting on any clothes, and going to the living room to turn on the TV and see the news.

All the channels were talking about the fire. It even seemed ironic, as I had a great day, and now a building near my company was on fire, and I had to see desperate people on the TV screen.

My heart stopped and my eyes lit up when I recognized Hyunjae running away with a long sheet and other men helping him from afar. This was apparently what he was supposed to do, try to stay calm and help people in a tragedy that could cost their lives.

“FIREFIGHTERS MOBILIZED QUICKLY AND SURVIVORS ARE GETTING TO THE GROUND SAFELY. THE FIRE HAS BEEN CONTROLLED AND WE HAVE NO NEWS FROM ANY VICTIMS IN SERIOUS STATE UNTIL THE MOMENT-” The woman turned and the cameraman filmed Hyunjae leaving the scene with a woman unconscious in his arms “THIS YOUNG BRAVE MAN REMOVED THE LAST VICTIM FROM THE LOCATION. AMBULANCE HAS ARRIVED AND WILL TREAT EVERYONE IMMEDIATELY. ”

I closed my fists tightly, my mouth dried and my heart sped up. Hyunjae had entered that burning building, risking his life, to save another one.

The fire subsided until it was extinguished. Reporters were still talking about how the police were already investigating everything and how fortunately no lives were lost and the victims had only minor injuries. I sighed with relief and sent a message to Hyunjae, congratulating him, but mostly asking how he was doing.

Me:

[Are you okay? I just saw it all on TV, I'm so worried!]

[I am proud of you, you were amazing.]

[I hope you're all right, send a message when you see this.]

Received.

I sighed and laid down on my bed covering my eyes trying to remember that he was fine.

"Nothing happened."

"Hyunjae is fine. No need to worry."

I was trying to convince myself that he was fine, alive, and doing his job, but my heart couldn't calm down. I decided to take a light tranquilizer and lie down again.

Maybe he would answer me in the morning, I would wait patiently and everything would be fine.

I turned on some drama on TV while I was busy watching cute animals on Youtube to pass the time. After a few hours and having a quick nap, I was surprised by the ringing of my cell phone and saw that it was Hyunjae.

I got up and answered quickly.

“Hyunjae ?! Are you okay? Where are you?" I hurried over and felt him give a tired laugh on the other end of the phone.

“I'm outside your house, please open it for me. It's a little cold here. ” He made a little joke like he always does, maybe, trying to calm my worried mood.

"Okay, I'll be right back." I hung up the phone and ran out to the door.

I opened the door feeling my heart racing, my joints tingling from suddenly getting up and automatically everything calmed down when I saw his face.

He had his bangs glued to his forehead, his face was dirty with some ash. He still had his work uniform on and was holding some bandages probably bought from the pharmacy near our homes.

"I came for you to heal me." He gave a sarcastic smile as I felt relief wash over my entire body.

"Come on, staying in this serene is bad." I pulled him inside, locking the door and putting his usual shoe in the doorway.

"Unfortunately I bought anything I saw at the pharmacy, so I hope you help me, I'm deadly tired." He started talking quietly trying to hide how he was shaken by that night.

"Hyunjae... are you okay?" I asked seeing him sitting on a chair in the kitchen taking off his uniform, leaving only the standard white blouse and pants.

"Yeah." He said dryly biting his lip and looking away. The habit he made when he lied.

"Stop lying to me." I walked towards him crossing my arms “If you were really well, you would have gone home, answered on your cell phone, and slept in peace."

He sighed and looked at me with a look that made my whole body tremble. He looked scared, anxious, but mostly nervous about something.

"What is it?" I touched his cheek and he sighed, closing his eyes and leaning into my hand.

"I almost lost my mind today." He stood up scratching the back of his neck with a choked voice as if he were about to cry.

"What do you mean?" He looked at me so sincerely that I felt my heart soften.

"We were on the traffic patrol when we heard the call." He laughed, but it was sad. "When they said the address, and I realized it was on the same street as your job, I despaired."

My eyes flew open and he sat on the edge of the couch burying his fingers in his dirty, messy hair.

“I thought you could be there and I lost it. When I got there, all I could think about was you.” I approached and realized that in fact, his eyes were watery "I know I should be concerned with other people, but I could only think ‘What if it is her building? What if she is there? What if she is in danger? What if I can't save her?’ And I went into eternal despair.”

I felt my heart racing so fast it could come out of my mouth.

"I-I didn't care if other people were hurt, as long as you were fine..." He looked at me and I felt a huge urge to hold his face "And it scares me. The way I was afraid of losing you and I couldn't think rationally, on the professional side.”

I sat next to him listening to everything he had to say.

"Hyunjae, anyone would feel the same way, you don't have to feel guilty about it." I wiped away his tears and held his cheeks in the palm of my hands "I would have done the same, thinking about you all the time."

He gave a smile sniffing before holding my hands.

"But it's different this time." He said before looking into my eyes with an invisible force that made me nervous "I thought nothing would make sense if I didn't have you by my side."

I took a deep breath trying to follow his argument.

"I don't want to lose you." He whispered as if it were a forbidden confession "You are the most important person in the whole world to me." He touched my cheek with the palm of his hand "You know that, don't you?" He swallowed hard, leaning his forehead against mine.

I took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair.

"I know Hyunjae, you are also the most special person for me." I said seeing how he had relaxed a little more "Now get up, you need to take a shower and put bandages on these cuts."

I stood up first, but I felt his hand close to my fist. He was taller than me, not so much, but his body was so strong that it made me feel small around him.

"What? Come on, you're very tired. ” I took the lead before I felt him pulling me again.

"[NAME]." He said hoarsely as I studied his face curiously.

Hyunjae was too different that night.

“What is it Hyunjae? Your face is dirty, you need to take a shower. ” I touched my hips trying to understand what he wanted.

Hyunjae approached pulling my wrist towards him before giving a kiss there.

"Come with me." He said making me petrified on the spot.

"W-WHAT?!" I asked nervously as I felt my heart pound so loudly that I was afraid he might hear "I-That's not funny, Hyunjae."

He released my fist and pulled me by the hip, staring deep into my eyes.

"I'm not kidding." I felt a shiver down my back when he admitted it wasn't a joke or a friend flirt "I got tired of pretending I don't feel anything for you."

I couldn't say anything, I was too shocked to reply.

“[NAME], you are the most important person to me and I don't want to live any longer having to treat you just like a best friend.” He touched my chin and raised my gaze to his “Please, be honest with me. Am I just a best friend to you? ”

I felt his gaze enter my soul and I knew I had no way to lie anymore, this was the only chance I would have to admit what I feel.

"No." I swallowed and stared at his mouth, which formed a small smile of satisfaction.

It was amazing the effect that Hyunjae had on me. Even if I wanted to run away, I wouldn't be able to lie because it was already obvious from the way I act.

"Great." I felt my stomach churn when I felt his left hand hold me tighter as his right landed on my cheek, making his thumb touch my chin, caressing it. "I hope you don't mind this."

"Mind wha—" I could barely finish the question and I felt his lips on mine.

I pulled away unintentionally from the shock and looked into his eyes that seemed to be staring at me with an indescribable fire. I swallowed and felt my heart racing as he just smirked sideways, as if he knew what I was thinking.

He approached me slowly, touching our noses and I closed my eyes feeling his breath warm my face. I felt my face heat up and my palms sweat when his lips brushed against mine again. I held on to his white blouse with the rest of my strength and waited for Hyunjae to close the distance that bothered me so much.

I felt his hand move and his fingers pulled my chin down, opening my mouth that was closed by shock. I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding and felt him laugh through his nose before wetting my bottom lip with his tongue lightly, kissing me gently.

I lifted my hands to his hair where I pulled slightly, feeling my back against the bathroom door. Hyunjae took a quick breath, trying desperately to open the bathroom door, trying not to break the kiss.

I opened my eyes after Hyunjae got rid of me, feeling my heart stop at the sight of him focused on trying to open the bathroom door. His face was flushed, but his ears seemed to burn at how red they were. His dark eyebrows were furrowed and his mouth was pink and inviting.

"Aish." Hyunjae said finally opening the bathroom making me smile slightly.

I held on to his blouse when I almost tripped over my own rug and Hyunjae grabbed my waist with his arm. He gave me a shy smile before leaning his body against mine, making me even more nervous.

His fingers played with the old buttons on my wool blouse. I held his neck intoxicating myself by his smell invading my senses. I felt a shiver down my spine when his fingers touched my skin gently, as if it were the most expensive porcelain that should be handled with care.

Hyunjae started the shower making me more and more nervous. He pushed me with some force making my back touch the tile on the cold wall of the bathroom. I felt his wet abdomen touching mine and tried to take his shirt off awkwardly making him laugh with amusement.

I looked into his eyes feeling my cheeks flush hard as I held his necklace in my hand. I smirked when I realized it was the gift I had given them for his last birthday. It was a sun necklace that was completed with another necklace, which was mine and was shaped like a moon.

I used to say that he was the sun that lit up my life and that reflected in me. I didn't expect him to wear it every day, because he is so critical of his clothes and his style, so I was surprised when I saw the jewel on his soft, wide collarbone.

"I-I like that necklace." He justified himself by making me smile as I felt my hair gradually get wet from the shower water.

I caressed his cheeks, removing all the dust and ashes from his face. He closed his eyes as I carefully wiped his face by raising my hands to his hair. My stomach churned when I kissed the corner of his jaw and he let out a long breath squeezing my waist.

"I like you." I confessed by kissing his neck, stroking his hair "Really."

"N-Noona." He said slyly in my ear making me smile. He only called me Noona when he was embarrassed "Don't do this to me."

"What?" I asked, acting like I didn't get his thoughts while looking at his beautiful body in front of me. I moved my hands down his chest feeling my whole body softening and looked him in the eyes hoping he understood the message I wanted to convey.

"You know." He responded by pinning me to the wall as he fiddled with the buttons on his pants, leaning his forehead against mine, chuckling through his nose.

I hugged him feeling slightly embarrassed when I felt him take off my bra and toss it on any floor in the bathroom. I closed my eyes tightly as I felt his lips kiss my neck slowly and lovingly.

"[NAME] ..." He sighed and kissed my collarbone "I-I know you like romantic guys, but the last thing I want to do now is to be patient and romantic with you."

I felt my whole body tremble and my thoughts were confused.

"I-Is this okay with you?" He asked suspiciously and I nodded, unable to speak, "Are you sure?"

I just answered him by kissing him again. He returned it immediately, deepening the kiss, holding me in his strong arms.

So, I closed my eyes and just let all those feelings accumulated from so long being satisfied without thinking about anything else.

- ▪︎ -

The truth was that love could come from anywhere, from a friendship for years, from a complete stranger, from a colleague at work or college. There are no limits to define where love should be born.

For Hyunjae and you, it was born out of years of extreme care. An affection that could not be limited by friendship, and by the undeniable attraction you felt for each other. There are people who spend years like this without the courage to declare themselves.

At that moment, a questioning is born within you. What if you hadn't declared yourself that night? What if you had run away? Hyunjae would probably walk away and leave your house feeling his heart broken. You weren't going to have the happy ending you wanted, and you could probably lose a precious friendship.

Ultimately, the butterfly effect has been proven and you should admit that your best 'mistake' was to have overcome your fear and admitted your senses. His best 'mistake' was sleeping with his best friend.

The question that remains is: Was that your destiny, or just the butterfly effect?

Ultimately, none of that mattered, because you both loved each other deeply.

▪︎

▪︎

MASTERLIST

[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

sorry that this is now a blog about tarot cards i pull after meditating but before doing yoga like your aunt who's really into crystals (i'm not going to get into crystals) but. one of the reasons i started meditating was that i had an Experience last year that demonstrated for me somewhat forcefully that one of the benefits of taking a moment just to sit with yourself can be less about "clearing your mind" and more about just seeing what the fuck is hanging out in there all the time that you're not paying attention. today i kept having thoughts and vague outlines of potential emotions about my old teaching jobs floating up, which considering it's been almost two years since i saw the inside of the classroom was Interesting. so i pulled for let go / let in / context and, once again: lol. the empress is kind of both the girlboss and the mommy of the major arcana - she literally is the woman who can do it all - but, well, she can be the first-grade teacher, too, right? nurturance, childrearing, maternal(ly adjacent) care and guidance. yeah. and she's, like, organic and flowy, yeah, but settled, even stately, too: there's a certainty to her, a sense of deep intrinsic alignment with her place in the world.

and then the eight of cups, a card i've drawn before and had a hard time getting my head around but which today feels very clear: walking away from something lush and lovely, from your heart's desire which somehow left you not quite whole. the sun has set; even the moon is asleep. the empress receives the flow of water, the eight of cups walks away from it, stoop-shouldered, using a stick to climb uphill. going into - the mountains, kind of, but we don't know what exactly. walking away, not yet walking to. walking to something but you don't know what yet. the future is coming because it always does, but you don't know what that means yet. you just know the place you left was good but not right. not a harsh card, but a sad one, i think. which, this draw is great for me because i love getting "good" cards in "bad" placements and "bad" cards in "good" ones," and this one is both - the deck isn't saying, keep going, the road is dark but the empress lies on the other side. it's saying, you remember what it was to feel like that. you remember what it was like to think you were in your element, in tune with self & surroundings, operating as a figure of protection and cultivation and care. (as i was reading through meanings because i'm still a noob and mulling over the reading, all too well (10 minute version) came up on shuffle - wind in my hair i was there, etc.) it was good until it wasn't, but it's gone. in the end it wasn't your home. it's time to let it go.

the bottom of the deck told me this is definitely not about the star, which at first i was kind of miffed about, like, um but i could really use the star about this actually. the star is so sweet and gentle and felt so much like it would fit into the story here: the thing that comes after the tower has fallen and you're still around, the symbol of survival and healing and hope. i wondered if maybe i should be more flexible in reading the bottom card - people do it all kinds of different ways, and most of the ones i've seen are closer to a final word or overarching theme than beth maiden's Definitely Not About reading - but that felt like a copout, especially since as i said i do love a friction between meaning and placement. the thing i liked when i was getting into astrology was the way that it was totally fake but also completely fixed, and like any game it's only fun if you follow the rules; if there's something in your natal chart that doesn't feel true, the question becomes, well okay, in what was could this be said to be true about me, even if it doesn't feel like it? the banal but very real truth that both underlies and emerges from this very fake exercise is: everything can be said to be true about everyone, actually, depending on perspective and choice, which are not necessarily the most important things in life but are maybe the most important things in life that lie to any degree within your control. this is perhaps very obvious to you but it is not a way of thinking that comes naturally to me, so i find value in things that force me to confront it. the less witchy tarot practitioners talk a lot about using it to get in touch with your subconscious, but for me so far i appreciate just as much these moments where it pushes the kind of mental flexibility i'm good at in impersonal domains (such as questions like "what do these weird-ass pictures with 9 million different very long interpretations of them available online mean") and historically pretty bad at in examining my actual life.

so: i was somewhere beautiful, doing beautiful things, and then i had to leave. and it's very tempting once presented with the opportunity to finish that story by saying, and in the dark night i saw a star rising and felt within me the serenity of water flowing and i knew that i had survived and i was going to be okay. or the road is hard but i know at the end of it lies a tranquil clearing where i will find grace. but it's only fun if you follow the rules, so that's not the story being told; in fact i am being cautioned against telling that story. the star at the bottom of the deck is a warning against jumping to the aftermath, which is another way of saying jumping to conclusions; a warning against wanting to get to the part where it's easy. the star itself can be a warning about this too, right - it's possible to be too starry-eyed. a nudge against the realm of wishes and dreams; a reminder to stay on the dimly lit path. to let in the eight of cups, and not to rush it out the door. it's a sad card: let the sadness in. the steepness of the climb, the rocks beneath your feet.

which, like, yeah, but also: thank god for the page of pentacles hanging out beneath all this, tbh. the curious beginner in the suit of material things, such as for example someone who has switched careers and is extremely much still figuring things out: yes. but i like also the way it plays with the cards above: the brightness of it, the upturned hands, compared to the eight of cups' dark night and stooped shoulders. the way the visual motifs are not dissimilar to the empress - the sun-drenched yellow background, the earth full of growing things (compared to the eight of cups' featureless grass) - but pared down, smaller and simpler. little budding flowers at your feet, instead of stalks of grass; trees clustered humbly in the distance instead of a lush forest surrounding you. no crown or scepter, just a cloth hat and one single coin. the page of pentacles lacks the empress's abundance, but you can see all the way to the fields and mountains in he distance, and it's a hell of a view. it goes well with the star at the bottom, too, the two of them clarifying: this story isn't about dreams or hope or the redemptive expanse of the life you're building; it's just about building it. about learning to live in that place of newness, wanting more but content with the little bit you have so far. pentacles are the suit of earth: don't look to the sky for a sign from the heavens; just keep your hands busy and your feet on the ground.

[carboniteprincess]

Warnings: 18+, Minors DNI, Canon-typical violence, mentions of blood, character death, murder, you're literally a rebel sniper, it's enemies to lovers boba is not going to be nice to you yet, love at first fist fight, I cannot stress this enough, ENEMIES TO LOVERS, he's kind of arrogant? but he's young give him time

Pairing: Boba Fett x F! Reader | 2.0k words

You're arguably the best sniper in the entire rebel alliance, with hundreds of high ranking Imperial officials on your belt. When you're given the order to kill Boba Fett, you are under the impression that this would be like any other mission. Unfortunately, he seems to have great skill of getting out of situations that aren't in his favor. Now you're on Tatooine, where your comrade Orda has lured him into discussing business in a shady restaurant under the guise of being an Imperial Commander. His luck has to run out at some point, and you intend that to be today.

Crossposted on Ao3!

Being a rebel wasn't as glamorous as you thought. You weren't conducting high-level espionage or anything of the like. Instead, your penchant for sniping was homed in on, making you one of, if not the best in the entire squad. The only flaw you had, was arrogance. Never have you let a target walk away, never have you allowed yourself into a tight spot. 

You were always ahead of the enemy, so when your general gave you the order to kill Boba Fett. You assumed it would be an easy in and out job, perhaps he would've posed a threat to other members of your squad. But to you it would be simple, right? Unfortunately not. 

This is your third attempt at some kind of ambush, luring him into a perfect position. Mandalorian armor had few weak points, meaning you had to meticulously spend hours figuring out where would land a good, clean blow. His neck. If angled correctly, one tilt of his helmet and it would be over. Right through the jugular, no more bounty hunter. Another imperial dog to add to your list. 

If he would just turn his head, a little more to the right. Sweat beads on your forehead, eyes focused down the scope. Being a good assassin was all about your ability to linger, to wait. You're positioned on a balcony, a blind spot to the restaurant below. Your associate kept him talking under the guise of being an Imperial Commander, negotiating pay for the next rebel target. Boba Fett sits across from him, drink untouched. If you could see his face you'd swear he seemed bored. His legs wide open, leaning back nonchalantly. 

Fingers clenching on the trigger, you close your left eye. It wasn't like you enjoyed your job, when this war was over you'd swore to never lift a weapon again. The Empire made you, molding you like clay into a perfect killer. A painful truth, a driving force. Your parents. Both were medical professionals, caught smuggling medication to the galaxy's poorest. Promptly executed and then you, an orphan. A street urchin, nothing more. 

It wasn't long into your teens that you heard of the resistance, your heart burned with a want of revenge. So you got stronger, learned how to use a blaster, pilot and any skills that would make you useful to their cause. But you weren't a rebel, not really. You didn't care for politics, didn't even bother listening to the speeches about restoring the Republic. It didn't matter to you, but what did matter was taking out as many Imperials as you could before you die in battle or finally become numb to the anger. 

Self-preservation was no concern of yours, and that made you dangerous. A loose cannon, hot-tempered, and scarily a woman. You were used to being underestimated by your peers on gender, height, birth planet…. and you were the one who gets the high-profile missions. You were the one who has the highest accuracy, years of practice which left your trigger finger calloused, and every other emotion muted. 

Boba Fett had become a real thorn in your side. Threatening your record, career and possibly your sanity. His uncanny talent for escaping situations, even if all cards were against him, was exasperating. You would be lying if you didn't have some modicum of respect for him though, you were somewhat alike. Respect, no matter how great, does not destroy a death warrant. 

Someday soon his luck would run out, and it would be you at the other end of the blaster. That day was today. Lips twitching into a smirk, you watch his neck turn. Bingo. You steady your rifle, pulse pounding in your ears. At last, this mission would be over. You'd become a legend, the woman who killed Boba Fett. 

Bang. You take the shot, accurate as ever. A hum leaves your lips, watching him fall to the ground. Your calculations were correct, there was a weak point. Every armor has one, even Mandalorian. It was like a drug, the puzzle pieces clicking together with every fragility you discovered. 

The restaurant below descends into chaos, even the bartender is panicking. All guests rushing from their tables, abandoning their meals as your associate checks the man's pulse. You stare down your scope, watching the ordeal. He gives a thumbs-up, definitely dead. A buzz in your ear alerts you to a comlink.

"He's dead. But I think you'll want to come down here." Orda replies through static. Your brow creases, what the hell could've gone wrong. Muscles twitching with irritation, you make your way through the currently uninhabited building. You were ordered to avoid collateral damage by all means necessary, a false fire alarm did the job well. 

Your feet tap against the stairs as you make quick work of assessing your surroundings— if something is wrong, then it's always better safe than sorry. It seemed to be all clear, so you proceeded out the door and onto the street. This area of Mos Eisley was pretty habitable, aside from the abundance of criminal undertakings. Dust kicks as you march into the restaurant, pushing through various guests who were piling out at lightspeed. 

With a gruff, you finally make it to the rooftop, an exclusive VIP spot which proved difficult to doctor identity necessary to enter. You're about to start asking what the hell could've been so important that he dragged you down here, but your eyes meet Orda's now slumped body, face down with all color residing. A frustrated sigh leaves you, he was a good man. Even worse, he was a great rebel. His heart was in it, unlike yours. He shouldn't have been the casualty here. You reach down, pulling out his identichip and stashing it in your pocket. An action that you've taken with far too many of your comrades. 

Painfully you pull yourself from Orda's body, standing upright. Lingering would be a deathwish, whoever killed Orda was skilled. An impressive marksman, obviously one of Boba's accomplices who mistakenly thought he was the one that shot him. You could go over what-ifs later, right now you were going to finish the fucking job. 

The sun was beginning to set, painting the sky in crimson constellations as the wind settled. Inspecting Boba's body was your primary concern, whatever Orda discovered, it cost him his life. You were determined to find out what exactly it was, from a glance it seemed like Boba Fett. With a grimace, you move his drooping head around. Concerningly heavier than expected, beskar is light and durable. 

You hook your fingertips under the helmet, pulling it off and coming face to face with…. not your target. Fuck. You'd be deceived, spectacularly. Knuckles white, feeling bile in your throat threatening to explode in a cocktail of frustration and admiration. The crudely made edges of the helmet abrasive against your palm, a reminder of your failure. 

Without a second thought, your balled fist comes into contact with the wall, encasing the helmet and sending tendrils of pain, a shock wave through your arm as you verbalize your confliction with a strangled scream. Orda died for nothing, you were a joke. Everything you had built, buried and locked away was floating to the surface. 

But you haven't felt this alive in years. Being outsmarted, so cunningly sent a morbid thrill up your spine. You could almost laugh, had you not heard footsteps approaching. Impulsively your hand fell to your blaster, making a mental note to thank your teacher for always carrying more than one. 

"Surely you didn't believe it was that easy to kill me." Before he can finish you turn, firing your blaster in his direction. Of course, his armor deflects it with ease. "I must admit, I'm impressed. Not everyone could distinguish beskar through weight alone." A snort leaves him at your feeble attempt to hold ground, looking over your pathetic secondary weapon that could barely injure an Ewok. 

"Go thing I'm not everyone then." You stand, keeping your right arm extended, blaster aimed at his inner thigh. It wouldn't kill him, however it would allow ample time for escape. "You killed my friend." He's circling you now. "Who's your Intel? How did you know I'd be here?" 

"You are hardly in the position to be making demands, little rebel." Another chuckle, you'd heard of him toying with his advisories before, but this was different. A teacher disciplining a student. 

"You're going to kill me anyway, what's the harm." You huff, shrugging. He stops pacing, chewing over your words. 

"Killing you would be a waste." That bastard. "Of my time and resources." He adds matter-of-factly. 

"Orda wasn't?" You spit, voice cracking in frustration. Figuring out what made others tick was your specialty, but the lack of motivation and reason within Boba's actions is what baffled you. 

"That was a favor." He sounds like you should be grateful, almost insulted that you hadn't figured it out yet even with him practically dangling the answer in front of you. Perhaps you weren't as clever as he thought. 

"A—favor? How would killing my comrade benefit me!" You reply astounded, cheeks burning red, hand shaking on your blaster. 

You think for a second, taking your eyes off him. Why did it take until after the kill for Orda to realize what was wrong with the body… He isn't… wouldn't…could've of… you've been double-crossed. "He wouldn't— I've spent months with him—" 

"And every little thing you did, he told me." His admission is calm, you look over Orda's body, no longer do you feel remorse. Just shame. You couldn't even see betrayal under your nose. 

You walk closer to him, the barrel of your blaster getting dangerously close. Nothing could stop you from finishing your mission right now, but he's letting you. Knowledge is far more appealing than rewards in the resistance. 

With your grip around the handle tight, you slam it down across his helmet, your knee reaching his groin. "You're very easy to fool." A smirk replaces the look of misery on your face, it was a dangerous game to pretend to let your guard down. Your risk paid off, managing to get a shot at his thigh. 

Swiftly, you press all your weight on him, knocking him back just enough to make a run for the edge of the balcony. He groans in pain, you're so close to the edge, escape almost in your grasp— when a grappling hook wraps around your ankle. 

You struggle against the cold floor, doing anything you can to wriggle free from his grasp.

It's fruitless, as soon as he's in reach you're kicking him, hurtling all kinds of abuse. Your attempts to wrestle him are almost comical and in a frenzy, you grip the only thing that seems viable. His Helmet. You manage to free it, your fingers hooking under and pulling it off his head, sending it on the floor beside you. For a moment you're the one stunned, not him. 

Dark curls frame his face, a beautiful border to tanned skin. His nose is prominent but compliments his features. Scars pepper his face, but he's young. Younger than you thought. You watch as his forehead crinkles in anger, hands pinning yours beside your head. 

Wasting no time, you bring your head to crack his, sending him back with a kick to the stomach. Your nose pours from impact, dripping onto the floor as you clamber to your feet. 

"This isn't over." You hear his voice, unmodified. You rush to the edge, peering over and assessing if you can land in one of the speeders below. He stands, trying to rush over to stop you. "Don't!" 

With a wink, you throw yourself over the side. In seconds you're hurtling onto the street, watching a bare-faced Boba Fett grow smaller with each passing second. His eyes are widened in either admiration or shock for your bravery. 

He eventually dares to look over and finds that you're gone. Whoever you were, he finally had a worthy opponent. He would find you again. His little rebel. 

[readerinsertfanfiction]

Moin Moin, Nemo! As you suggested, match me by my wardrobe! Ikevamp or Ikesen or both I leave that up to you 😊 so.. my clothes...

My wardrobe is full of dark colours. Most of it is black with a few pieces of dark red and dark purple and a single piece of grey. My outfits are always comfortable and practical. I have to be able to wear them for a long time without feeling like a sausage.

I own a big collection of hoodies, sweatpants and comfy wide t-shirts, but also a variety of goth-like tops with some lace and a corsage.

Without my converse sneakers I feel weird but I also love my combat boots. I don't own many accessories except a few rings and a silver necklace with a Celtic cross and some leather bracelets with spikes.

There you have it. Have fun and thank you ❤️

-- In lieu of my birthday I promised a few friends some exclusive matchups from my side. No promises that they will be any good, neither that I won't troll them (I totally do plan on trolling them) Now let's start this wild ride, because I'm ready to take on the world of matchmaking and shipping and proving to everyone why I should never make this my business.

NOTE: I’m NOT open for requests. This is only a special I allowed as a joke for friends to indulge in. I will be ignoring all and everyone who weren’t part of this special offer.

Now this is someone who is harder to troll with a suitor. She even remembered to specify which fandoms she wants. She truly knows who she is talking to, but I will find something, some punk, maybe...

This matchmaker isn't an expert in clothes at all. Modern!Kenshin tends to steal half of my wardrobe unfortunately, but the colours scream bold and dramatic to me. The style tells me: Tired mom, pterodactyl screeching but also e d g y. Now, I already pulled the dramatic queen card before, so that will be a bore. Instead!

“My, is this supposed to be some villain’s drab?” The voice comes from a certain author, blue eyes already shimmering in interest as he goes through the dark fabrics, holding up one particular lace piece and corset. “Quite desirous as well, imagine that pinched waist, the slightest glimpse of skin shining through this fine wear,” Arthur continues to hum, quite pleased with the imagery he is painting for himself.

Everything about his words and his attitude screams; ‘I want to put my hands on her.’ but the matchmaker quickly waves him off, not wanting to hear any of his raunchy thoughts.

“Or perhaps this should be a silent hero of sorts? A woman who knows what she wants, doesn’t speak much, but looks good while roundhousing the villain. Maybe I should have Sherlock be at the receiving end of it.”

The ideas are flooding as he picks up the combat boots, an appreciative hum escaping his lips as he is dressing and undressing the imagined lady to whom the clothes belong. He isn’t much interested in the hoodies, nor in the sweatpants, but when he reaches the accessoires and in particular finds the familiar symbol his eyes widen.

“And the plot thickens!” he exclaims as he holds up the cross, admiring it from several angles dangling in the air. “Though you missed the undergarments I sure do appreciate some lore, perhaps she is part of an old sect, or maybe even the occult, ooooh, a dark mistress indeed!”

Another sigh escapes the matchmaker while Arthur continues to admire the wardrobe provided today.

In another century the clothes earned a more confused reaction, a pair of violet eyes going over them in appraisal.

“Those boots look sturdy. I think it could benefit our men a lot in battle, especially in bad weather,” Mitsunari says after a while, deciding to put his own foot into one of the shoes. Halfway through Mitsunari finds himself losing balance, however, eyes wide in surprise as he stumbles, barely catching himself. “They are rather hard to put on, however,” he blinks, a little astonished. What the man doesn’t realise is that he hasn’t pulled off his own geta yet, absorbed as he was in trying the shoes on.

Never deterred Mitsunari moves on, picking up the corset as he feels the material, once more humming in appreciation as he strokes his chin.

“This could make for a lightweight chestguard,” he observes, before trying to fit the corset around his chest. “It just needs to be a little wider, and easier to put on…” is his next bemused thought as he realises that the corset isn’t tall enough to cover his upper body, nor able to wrap around him. “I wonder if this is made for a child, or was it only meant for the back?” Mitsunari questions, but he receives no answer from the one who had delivered the items.

[dog-day-morning]

The word of God tells us we shall suffer for the cause of Christ, he who seeks a greater reward must attain a greater faith. Unto whom much is given that much more is required. You wanna eat that whole caramel cake, you crave that sweet tea, you pursue that woman in a nightclub hoping to get her in a compromised position, face down tail up because face it, we're not willing to bow down to the will of God, but we’re so happy, and ready to give in to that round mound of doo doo brown. The 3 Hebrew boys Meshach, Shadrach, and Abednego went into the fiery furnace defying Nebuchadnezzar's declaration to worship him. These men had the inspiration, strength, and courage to say, even if He doesn't deliver us, we know that He can. That kind of faith is called perfected faith. We can be lazy because we refuse to work with what God gave us before the day of calamity comes to devour us. Tribulation is kicking into high gear, and many of God’s people are none the wiser. There are people who were working 3 jobs before, and after this pandemic became a global concern who know what is on the horizon. You don't need an Issachar spirit to discern the times; read the Bible. He also said to the crowds, “When you see a cloud rising in the west, you say at once, ‘A shower is coming.’ And so it happens. And when you see the south wind blowing, you say, ‘There will be scorching heat,’ and it happens. You hypocrites! You know how to interpret the appearance of earth and sky, but why do you not know how to interpret the present time? The gov't has pulled back on unemployment benefits forcing many to find a job. The 2 righteous servants in the parable of the 3 servants increased the wealth of their employer who trusted 3 men with different amounts of talents [money], and the 1 who didn't work diligently for his master inherited weeping, and gnashing of teeth. God invested in us, and He expected a greater return from this major investment. Jesus was the greatest financial venture ever made. The Father placed His faith in His Son who in turn gave Him many more sons that walk amongst us waiting for the Day of Judgment. This investment which supersedes all, but are intertwined will never decrease, and forever increase. The 144,000 isn't a spiritually inspired interpretation based on mine, and Mima getting the Holy Ghost or having an encounter with the Holy Spirit to speak in tongues. Sit down grandma, your Depends are leaking brown stuff that reeks of formaldehyde, and raw chitlins. God is looking for a righteous Nation to worship Him not themselves. These men, and boys who represent the 12 tribes of Israel have never been defiled by women, and hopefully not by men either. You lucky mother You can take the word literally or as a misinterpretation. Those who don't believe in the written word who believe that God's word isn't infallible aren't all to blame for this heresy. Those who originally interpreted the King James Bible added to, and took from are suffering for a misleading interpretation. The prophetic which God didn't let man corrupt altogether has pretty much played out verbatim. We may be dying to a world that is trying to kill our faith that God has no intention of doing until He finds His true worshippers, and He’ll never destroy one's faith in Him. Winter is coming and you and I must be prepared. We must live like today is our last without being caught up in fear. I'm suffering from a form of laziness called jackass. God shall supply all your needs, but faith without works is dead. The ant has the intuition to work throughout the Summer knowing that Winter is coming. A lot of these drones won't live to see the finished product. Ant mounds look like the Pyramids of Giza that secure the Queen, but where is the King? They serve the one who gives life that sustains the colony, she is their goddess, but what happens if the Queen dies? There's more than one Queen serving the colony who can breed an entire colony independent of one other. fulfilling their role while working together in unison with the others who all serve a greater purpose. This

is a major element that drives the Kingdome of heaven. Christ is just like His Father In the Kingdome that includes the Holy Spirit which they will pour upon all flesh again soon. There are no cowards or sinners in the Kingdome. The angels are not as drones, they are blessed warriors.

Revelation 21:8

8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.

1 Corinthians 6:8-10

8 Nay, ye do wrong, and defraud, and that your brethren.

9 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,

10 Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.

Alkebulan we need to wake up and get right. Black American's of the tribes of Judah, Gad, Reuben, and Issachar you need to aim at my forehead, and scatter my scatter brained grey matter all over the pavement. When Joe Biden told a radio podcaster if you don't vote for me you're not Black, he must be color blind. This vaccine that suspiciously looks like the Mark of Whodunnit. They can plant a microchip in your arm that can track your every move, financial transaction, and possibly your dreams while you sleep. Some Walmart stores are refusing to take cash when you check out; they only take debit, and credit cards. These are signs that we’re living in the End Times. The Last Days. I'm looking at this as a sign to get the hell outta this city, and decompose. What in God's name am I afraid of? Jesus took a beat down like a man on a mission.. You're not weak or simping if you gave your life for a people you fed, healed, gave sight to, preached to, taught them a new way to live, pray, love, told them about a Kingdome greater than Jerusalem, and you didn't kill anybody in the process knowing what they were going to do to your physical body in an almost retarded like bid to destroy their salvation. I've done none of that; my bad. Stop looking for men, especially zaddy to deliver us. “If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.” Some of us foolheartedly called Bill Clinton the first Black president when he's not, never can, or will be to me in any sense, Barack wasn't either. Thomas Jefferson, the third elected president, who served two terms between 1801 and 1809 was described as the “son of a half-breed Indian squaw (Black) and a Virginia mulatto father (Black).” Abraham Lincoln, the nation’s 16th president, served between 1861, and 1865. Lincoln had very dark skin, and coarse hair and his mother allegedly came from an Ethiopian tribe. His heritage fueled so much controversy that Lincoln was nicknamed “Abraham Africanus the First” by his presidential opponents and cartoons were drawn depicting him as a Negro. Warren Harding, Calvin Coolidge, Dwight David Eisenhower, and the scourge of the South Andrew Jackson were all n**gahs. I’ll see you come Hanukkah you self-hating black, Uncle Ruckus’s. I don't celebrate Thanksgiving, why should I be overjoyed about the genocide, and enslavement of God's people? Christmas is what it is. Hopefully you will celebrate this holiday season together fulfilling God's prophetic word. I can't unless you kill me. The Christmas holiday is as pagan as Joel Osteen is at scamming. David Duke, you might wanna go to ancestry.com, and take a DNA test. You might be 30% Swahili. By the looks of those big, gorilla nostrals you had before that rhinoplasty. You, and Bull Connor may be related to Idi Amin. Your biggest shame is your greatest blessing. Personally you can kiss the skid marks in the middle of my skid marks after I take a fresh dump. Conservative, political pundits, and wannabes whose names I won't mention, but one in particular who looks like he smoked 23 blunts in 15min. with no filter. Please keep him in California, and let him drown with his zaddy, and pancaked tail, bowed hipped women. Use your lips as a floatation device dude. These people are ashamed of the God who has blessed many, and plenty. These people suffer, hopefully not always, from the white savior or white zaddy complex. The truth isn't in any of them, that's why they're so adept at lying when making bold-faced statements before the public that opposes their previous opinion like people don’t have YouTube or google. I’ll Bing a factoid or Yahoo that mother to get the truth I may even pay for it, gimme a dollar. My inability to walk amongst men as a man has stagnated my propensity to live That's BS, my Apostle said something this past Sunday that's stuck on my forehead. YOU'RE LAZY!!! I am what I am, a pain in the rear end. This has gone on way too long. Sometimes

I feel as though God wants me to kill myself because the PO PO won’t. I would feel better if my natural family would stab me in the neck, not my back, with a piece of diseased, pork, spare rib from a boar hog, and let me die from a rare form of trichinosis. The people have spoken while I’m playing Jay, and Silent Bob. Father, get me outta here. Elohim, 9/16/2021

[angelsswirl]

American Style

Chapter 2: Vegas Lights

Wrd Cnt: 1k+

Rating: M

The lies and affectations. Sensation. We're winning 'til the curtain's coming down.

"You'll never believe who I met at work last night?" You threw your rather expensive purse down onto the sofa next to your roommates.

You kicked off your shoes near the front door then threw yourself across said roommates lap's. One of them let out a grunt, but otherwise didn't say anything.

"Lisa Manoban, Park Rosé, and Bae Irene?" Doyeon answered easily. She yanked her arms from underneath your thighs.

"How'd you know?" Your eyebrows knitted together in confusion. You normally didn't tell either of your roommates about your clientele out of respect for their privacy. There's no way that Doyeon could have just gotten that on the first try.

"It's all over twitter." Ryujin, her other roommate, handed her phone to the woman laying across her lap.

This was the routine, you would get home, normally around 5:00 a.m., maybe pick up breakfast for the three of you, then get back to the apartment, and hangout until Ryujin and Doyeon left for the day.

Ryu had been right, there were a few paparazzi photos of the three of them entering the building, none seemed to depict them leaving, however.

"Ugh, Jeremy's going to be in so much trouble. Normally, he does a way better job of keeping those vultures away." You handed Ryujin her phone back with a tired sigh.

"So, whose mind did Royalty blow into a million horny peices?" Doyeon asked with a smirk encompassing the whole of her face. She even muted the television none of them were watching for extra assurance.

"I wouldn't say I blew her mind, but I gave Lisa Manoban a lap dance because it's my job." You made sure to point those last words at Doyeon. For some reason, Doyeon's been in perpetual matchmaker mode since you met, and that was when you were all 14.

"If you didn't blow her mind, where's your bra?" Ryu asked with a suspicious raise to her eyebrow.

You scoffed loudly, "How did you even notice that?!"

"I notice everything."

"Fine! I may have stuffed it in her pocket as a parting gift." You crossed your arms over your chest protectively, a small pout forming on your now plain lips.

"Oh my God! You did blow her mind!" Doyeon shouted, an accusing finger pointed in your direction.

"You're into her." Ryu's revelation is way softer in execution, but just as accusatory and astonished.

"Why? Just because I stuffed my bra in her pants pocket?"

"No. Because you took off your bra in the first place." Ryujin answered smoothly. Doyeon nodded along slowly. They all knew the implications but know one seemed keen to elaborate.

You rolled your eyes and huffed, "Fine. You win again. I might be a tiny bit into her, but it doesn't matter."

"And why doesn't it matter?"

"Hello, Shin Ryujin. My name's Y/N Y/LN. Would you like a copy of my business card? Yes, I know it says Royalty, but don't worry, that's my stage name. I'm a stripper. Nice to meet you."

"No. You're an exotic dancer. Say it with me. 'Exotic dancer'." Doyeon spoke slowly. You promptly ignored her.

"That's only a problem because you're making it a problem." Ryujin said softly.

You shook your head, "She was so sweet and nervous. She seemed to be genuinely interested in me. Not Royalty. In me. But she doesn't even know my actual name. I'm never going to see her again. I'm fine with that." You shrugged harshly.

"Why do you insist on lying to your best friends?"

You don't answer.

"And she does know your name."

"What?" You sat up, your eyes zeroing in on Ryujin. She winced at the elbows digging into her thigh.

"I sew your name into all of your lingerie so those bitches you work with can't steal it. So, assuming she's smart enough to look at the tag, she knows your name." Ryujin's face suggested she thought this was completely normal.

"You sewed my name into my bras and panties? She's going to think I'm a narcissist. Good going, Ryujin." You plopped back down, this time groaning into your hands.

"That's our Jinjin. Always looking out for her besties!" Doyeon patted Ryu's shoulder placatingly.

"Now, you can wait for her to find you and then you can fuck into the sunset or whatever."

"Or just finish what you started back at the club. Or did you already finish?" Doyeon giggled at her own joke. Ryujin didn't giggle, but she did want to know the answer.

"Doesn't talking about your fellow singer like this make you uncomfortable?" You asked pointedly.

Doyeon rolled her eyes, "That would imply we actually get a deal soon."

An odd look passed over your face. Ryujin eyed her best friend with a sympathetic frown, "You could get a deal soon too. So people can see you. You're still good. Still better range and rhythm than Doyeon."

"Hey!"

You only shook your head. It was just too late for you.

Lisa had been trying to fight off this headache since she had woken up that morning.

She had tried fighting it off during breakfast, during their morning meeting where Jungwook yelled at them, (Well, Jungwook had mainly yelled at Irene, and she seemed more mad that they had gotten caught than anything else. It was safe to say that Jisoo was still Jungwook's favorite), during rehearsals, and now when she's alone, save for her snoozing roommate.

Her memories from the previous night hadn't helped soothe the throbbing in her temples. In fact, they had did the opposite, and not just to her head. To her entire body.

Royalty did things to her entire body. They had spent maybe a total of 15 minutes together, and yet that had been enough time for Lisa to memorize every last one of the woman's dips and bumps and ridges and curves.

Really, it's no wonder that Lisa still has a hangover, because thinking about Royalty makes her feel a bit drunk.

It's something she's got to get over quickly. They're going to leave after their benefit concert the next day, and there's going to be little to no room for insignificant crushes on women she doesn't know.

And yet, Lisa still feels like she's got unfinished business. Lisa still feels like she's got to find this woman and at the very least talk, with all of their clothing on, over a cup of coffee.

She sat on the edge of the hotel bed soflty. Her suitcase, placed haphazardly in the corner, stared back at her.

Lisa reached over to it. Her hand finding its way into one of the small pockets on the side. She yanked out the peice of fiery red lace. A glance over her shoulder tells her Jenny is still asleep.

Maybe she's holding it differently then she had last night. Maybe it's fate. Who actually knows. Whatever it is pulls the tag of the garment free from its confines.

Property of Y/N "Royalty" Y/LN.

So, that's what she was supposed to do with a stripper's bra.

[elvenladysakura]

~Chaar Kadam~

04

Pawn

He is like sea. Ever changing, thousand storms hidden beneath sleek waves. Vast, deep, deadly yet calm and soothing - when he wants to be. Kuwar Veer Pratap Singh is a sea, that Amrit suddenly finds herself stranded in the middle. His deceptive calmness hides a trench beneath, depth of which none has ever tested. She doesn't want to tread these waters, but the choice is between diving and drowning. Isn't that the choice of every life?

Amrit paces the length of her room. Door locked and lights dimmed. The foolishness of her actions makes her inwardly cringe, who was she fooling with this pretence of sleep when with each step her deceptively elegant chains chime.

"Chun Chun Chun" He had said. "As long as I keep hearing their ring, my worries will cease."

Chun Chun Chun

The anklets chime now, mocking her as if they were an extension of the wicked man who had them made. Those anklets could not be undone, she recalled realizing that with a sneering Veer over looking her. She'd rather cut them off her feet -

The sharp knock scatters her thought. Amrit stops just as the door rattles.

"I know you are not sleeping," Veer's voice filters through the door. He doesn't sound very pleased. Good, Amrit thinks savagely. Let him stay awake all night, listening to his favorite Chun Chun!

"Amrit!"

She has the urge to stomp her feet and irritate him further, but Amrit knows how to choose her battles. Veer has that unassuming wickedness of a naughty child, who'd do the most unexpected thing to get his way. Instead she goes and unlocks the door.

"What?" Tonight, she doesn't have the patience to entertain his tantrums. Amrit had pleaded a headache to get out of the dinner debacle, in fear that it would turn somewhat similar to the breakfast drama just that morning. She was annoyed, hungry and on the top of it bound in elaborate gold chains of the kuwar's choosing. At least she had to have the privilege to snap at someone.

Veer raised his brows, looking down at her from his impressive height.

"Dinner kar lo, humare saath," he says. "It's all been set up in the room, we are not expected down at the table with everyone."

She makes a move to walk past him which he prevents with a hand on the door frame. His eyes are burning when they return her gaze.

"Keep me waiting, next time I'll break open the door." He bites out menacing words against her ear as if they were a soft caress. Looking over his shoulder Amrit notices the servants bowing out of the room, the dinner arranged in a corner. Veer steps away as soon as they shut the door and mentally shaking her head at his antics, Amrit goes to the table set up for the two of them.

"Bina khaye sone wale logon ko, ab badi jaldi hai khane mein," Veer taunts from behind. "Stop!" He says sharply. Unwillingly, Amrit turns to look at him, wondering what new play he has thought up now? Was he going to taunt her with food next? Dangle a paratha in front of her like a carrot in front of a donkey? Veer shakes a finger at her in silent no no. With long strides he joins her at the table and pulls out the chair for her.

"Ladies wait for their accompanying gentleman to pull out their chair," he says offering her the seat with an elaborate gesture.

"Why? Woh kudh nahi kar sakthe?" She asks sarcastically.

Veer pinches the bridge of his nose before pointing an accusatory finger at her.

"Yahi yahi problem hai tum ladkiyon ki! When someone is doing a good deed, can't you just keep back and let him do it? No, you want to show your nari shakti instead!"

Amrit plops down on the chair and looks up at him expectantly.

"What is all this Kuwar sahab?"

Veer takes his own seat and looks at her pointedly.

"Training," he elaborates. "Aaj se, we will have dinner here in the room. Just you and me. I will teach you Rani ma's table etiquette to it's last t.

"Etiquette doesn't end with a t." Amrit points out. "Kiyun? Are you embarrassed on my behalf? I did tell you Kuwar sahab, I'm not the right girl for you. Shukar hai aap ko samajh aaya, dher hi sahi!"

"Pooch nahi raha hoon madam, batha raha hoon," Veer tells her as he places a plate before her and starts piling it up with food. "I don't need your opinion on it. I'm telling you how it's going to happen. You will practice during dinner - I'll see your improvement during breakfast with everyone. It may be a pretence, but you are my wife out there. My other half so to speak. I'd rather at least one half is spared of Rani ma's criticism." He shakes his head at some dark thought and serves himself. "Between you and me, I'm the disappointment - you, you are supposed to be perfect, behetareen, unparalleled - such that, Rani ma could never find one who is your better. You are my victorious move against her, my trump card."

His eyes gleam with a madness that fills her insides with a chill. Amrit realizes that she is unwillingly made a pawn in this battle between mother and son. She had no choice but to keep moving forward and the man behind her - dictating her moves - she wasn't certain if he was sane.

"Hmm," Veer says self satisfied. "Shuroo kiya jaayein."

He was a relentless teacher. Amrit wonders how Rani Sahiba thinks less of this son of hers when he was as tenacious as she was.

"So, as we eat - we'll talk about Pakistani prisoners."

Amrit's fork slips. Veer corrects her grip on it again and raps on her knuckles with the back of his spoon.

"Dyaan kahaan hai tumhara?" He admonishes and cuts her savoury roll into small pieces himself. "You can't keep watching your cutlery as if you are performing a surgery on your food. There will be conversation around which you have to participate in -"

He plucked one piece on his fork and brought it to her mouth. "Learn to multitask."

Amrit swallows the bite just to shut him up.

"What about Pakistani prisoners?" She asks.

"There's a list of those who were recommended to be released under Rani ma's campaign scheme. Want to check and see if your aashiq is among them?"

He pulls out a file from nowhere and flips it open. The smile he gives at her eagerness to reach for it is condescending.

"I've heard dogs learn tricks better when they are given reward treats - aaj dekh bhi liya."

Amrit ignored the insult in favour of checking that precious document. It was the culmination of all her efforts. She won't let a petty insult ruin it. Veer watched her in silence for a moment as she reads through the file.

"What will you do when you get him out?" He muses aloud.

"Nothing. He knows how to live his life."

Veer chuckles darkly.

"You want me to believe you won't want to go to him? That you won't run away?"

"Do you play chess Kuwar sahab?"

"Why? You want to learn that next?" He retorts.

Amrit shakes her head. Returns to her food and manages - perfectly - to take a bite from her fork.

"The first rule of any battle is to trust your enemy to do the worst and your soldier to do the best. You have placed me on your side Kywar sahab, you have no choice but to believe I will do my best. If you doubt your own soldier - your opponent will benefit."

For a moment Veer says nothing, then his face breaks into a deceptively bright smile.

"Shukar hai," he says. Shukar hai aap ko samajh aaya, dher hi sahi!" He pays back in her own words, adding his signature sarcasm to it. "You are my soldier. Don't try to be my queen." He offers her another bite. "I've learned my lesson of trusting women. You are left with nothing if you depend on them. Rani ma. Anaita. Tum. All you women know is to disappoint. Ab aur nahi - now I decide the rules of this game."

"Kuwar sahab -"

She jumps at the sound of the door opening. In comes Rani Sahiba, her face a mask of indifference. Veer looks at her annoyedly.

"I'm having serious doubts about your manners Rani Ma," he greets. "Zara dimaag mein zoor daliyein, somewhere - someone might have taught you something about not entering rooms of newly married couples without knocking?"

To his credit Rani sahiba doesn't even flinch. Amrit feels her face burning. She looks away. Rani sahiba being Veer's mother has the nerve to smile.

"You didn't come for dinner. I wanted to talk. It cannot wait." She says pleasantly.

"Kahiyein," Veer mimics her pleasantness. "I'm sure you took the trouble to come all the way up to deliver some shok bhara samachaar!"

"Since you are insisting Veer that I give your wife," she throws a dark look at Amrit. "All due respect and status of a daughter in law of this royal family...I have arranged for that one ritual you missed to force upon us." She pauses for dramatic effect. "It cannot happen that a new daughter in law has joined the family and the newly married couple as you so eloquently put do not seek blessings from our kuldevi? I have arranged a kuldevi pooja for you and bahu. You should prepare to leave tomorrow."

The chill in her smile and the way Veer had suddenly gone very still tells Amrit all she needs to know about this upcoming veneration. The woman has her son's cruel streak, for her eyes flashes with victory at the ghost like pallor in Veer's face. Amrit has the urge to reach out and take his hand - a misplaced emotion that she quickly stomps on. This is the man who made her wear those anklets. She's not going to forget that.

"Kiyun, you have a problem Veer?" Rani sahiba asks sweetly.

"Nahi." Veer's voice is little too high, little too cherry. "Of cause I have no problem." He looks at his mother, his eyes reddening, his fists clenched. "So you'll be going with us too, won't you Rani Ma? Or do you have a problem?"

"Of cause. I - I will." Her voice falters and Veer's fist tightens.

"Of cause," he says. "Of cause."

He rises from the table abruptly.

"If you could finish me off in the process I'm sure you won't think twice to poison your own food. Aap kha lijiye Amrit, humari bhook mitt gayie."

Throwing those last words as if he was spitting out the said poison, Veer left Amrit staring up at the sweet yet cruel face of a supposedly benevolent woman.

**

[ourwrittenstories]

"So...I didn't know what to get you." Cordelia murmured, feeling a little guilty. She had never had to get a boyfriend...anything for their birthday! "I know you're going to say that I'm a gift enough or something corny like that but that isn't good enough for me. So pack your bags. I'm taking you to Italy with me, to my dad's villa. We are going on a vacation...if you want."

"If I want," He repeated with a wet sounding laugh, his emotions trying to get the better him in this unfamiliar situation.

No one had gotten him a gift before for his birthday aside from Amara and even then it was a bottle of his favorite cologne and a half assed card. She got him stocks once when they had first been on Earth, something that was still paying out to this day, but those were just as much for her benefit.

Cordelia wasn't wrong. Her being in his life was enough of a gift, but the fact that she cared enough to think about him in a way no one else had....well, the small woman was slowly turning him into a sap. He pulled her to stand between his legs and wrapped his arms around her waist. His head pressed against her stomach and he held her there for a long while, soaking in the absolute joy that her presence brought him. "Thank you, pet."

[blondrichclosetwitch]

It was suggested to me that I put this up. It was the songs from 10:58-12:34 yesterday.

Castle Halsey 10:58 AM…

First nuschknows song.

Sick of all these people talking, sick of all this noise

If you wanna break these walls down, you’re gonna get bruised (the falls)

They wanna make me their queen (in 2020 in Yonkers they left things to insinuate I was satan’s queen, and that they were all “enjoying themselves”to my picture )

11:02 AM skin trade Duran Duran—A jump into the deep end gave her the evidence she required(that’s about me going completely sober again and asking for stuff from my spiritual team to open up my gifts further and understand the music deeper.)

So she smiles, but that's cruel

If you know what she thinks

If you knew what she was after (b)

Would someone, please, explain

The reason for this strange behavior (me/Jakk)

In exploitation's name

We must be working for the Skin Trade (see Duran Duran notation. Also how many people were hired? I’m super curious.)

It's a question of compromise

They got steel(this right here. This. Steel was basically my mentor. he has already told me from the other side that it was It hefty effort that ended in his earthly demise. he played a song that mentions the fortune teller. And a feather, which was Blond‘s calling card and still is.)

So big deal, it's what rule(broke all the rules)

When it comes to making money

Say yes, please, thank you (people hired)

Quiver a little Benjamin Clementine 11:11 AM…

So why would you waste a lot of your energy

On what, what people might say

Quiver a little

Then burst in laughter

Quiver a little then get back to your stride(I had to learn to not give a fuck what people said about me, which is something I’ve battled with my entire life. I got past it.)

Really Rosie Carole king 11:15–

I'm really Rosie

And I'm Rosie, real(This has a double meeting, because my name in my play is Rose and for many many months Blond insisted that I called her rose. When I put together that it it had something to do with wanting to be me, I knew I had a problem on my hands.)

You better believe me

I'm a great big deal

Believe me(this line refers do you how hard it was to get anyone to take when I said seriously. They cover their bases well. How about them Yankees?)

The house of love all night long 11:17—

I grow in you(the demonic possession)

And when our end comes

We fly like birds(The other day out loud to God I said “ in my next lifetime I want to be a bird, fuck this human shit“

Nocturne chromatics 11:19–instrumental


a picture of a night scene.

11:24 Lauren , men I trust—

There’s a voice I always trust

Its friendly helping hand tells me leave, I must(this is about the voice that started talking to me on my birthday in 2020 who told me to quit drugs because he had big things for me to do. It was definitely male.)

11:26 til the morning

Comes the Grateful Dead—Till we all fall down

It'll do you fine (another reference to the falls)

11:30 porn song sarah Silverman —-There's a dream in your head that will never come true (This is about how I constantly was trying to do work to free Jack, no matter what I did I never saw him.)

There's a stickyness all over and it didn't come from you (this is about the mixture that was sprayed all over my house)

11:33 the wedding present interstate 5–And is it sexist to say that I thought just boys were meant to behave in this way? (This is about the fact that while I know that men get violent, I never expected a woman to be behind attempting to run me down… In more ways than one.

My suggestion, sincerely, to all the women who took part is that you really would benefit from a women’s group that will move you out of yourself.)

Mandinka 11:39 Sinead O’Connor—I'm dancing the seven veils They're throwing it all this way

Dragging it back to the start

And they say, "See how the glass is raised?"

I have refused to take part

I told them "drink something new"

Please let me pull something through (this song is both a reference to things I did in past lifetimes that got me into this mess. I’ve not always been an innocent, by far. I had to understand where I had been to get where I am. I also have been finding out what gifts I have and where I’m going.)

Mama tried grateful dead 11:44 AM—And no one could change my mind, but Mama tried

Mama seemed to know what lay in store

In spite of all my Sunday learning

Towards the bad I kept on turning

'Til Mama couldn't hold me anymore

No one could steer me right, but Mama tried, Mama tried

Mama tried to raise me better, but her pleading I denied

That leaves only me to blame, cause Mama tried (This is one of the references to Blond’s mother. This song has played so many times and I never listened to it until yesterday. Her name was mentioned in a different song, and I’m still contemplating that.)

That’s what I like mick 11:46 tori Amos—plays on the wireless (reference to me being hacked)

11:49 AM star star the Rolling Stones—Honey, I missed your two tongue kisses (This is the song where they say STRFKR over and over and over again… There’s another song by Tori where they say STRFKR and that also plays as often as this one does… I haven’t figured out the STRFKR part yet but I probably will.)

11:55 ode to the Mets the strokes —Not gonna wake up here anymore (fuck yeah I’m moving)

Listen one time, it's not the truth

It's just a story I tell to you Hope that you read it, think that you should (I have not discerned through all of the content I was told yet. Oh but even though I don’t understand absolutely everything I still think it’s worth following. Which is why I’ve had this blog for almost 2 years, holy shit.)

Cuts you some slack as he sits back

Sizes you up, plans his attack (this is about my friend who was working with Blond and the Tarot Reader. Mindfucker. he played a big part. Big. For years.)

Waitin' for me down on the street fuck, I'm out of control (the spies)

I was just bored (sometimes they say blond did it simply because she was bored and she liked playing God… Got drunk on the power.)

Learned all your tricks, wasn't too hard It's the last one now, I can promise you that (I would say she learned a lot about me but I would also say that all this is almost over from what the spirits say.)

I'm gonna find out the truth when I get back

So pardon the silence that you're hearing

It's turnin' into a deafening, painful, shameful roar (this one is about Jakk)

12:03 Ashley halsey—But it seems I'm only clingin' to an idea now

Took my heart and sold it out to a vision that I wrote myself I told you I'd spill my guts Apart from my beating heart

It's a muscle, but it's still not strong enough to carry the

Weight of the choices I've made (there’s been a lot of talk about a heart attack. This is also a reference to me writing.)

Love is everything jane siberry 12:03–First he turns to you

Then he turns to her

So you try to hurt him back

But it breaks your body down (i’m not allowed to talk about this one.)

12:12 to turn you on roxy music—Now you're on your own

Who cares about you

Except me, God help me

When things go wrong

I do anything to turn you

Must phone me, you know me

When things go wrong

I do anything to turn you on (this is about me trying to reach Jack no matter how mad I was at him or how much I missed him, I used to always write to him.)

Endless road Angel Olson 12:13–All the places I have been keep calling me back again

Down in the pines, I hear the cold winds blow

My heart keeps telling me, "Footloose and fancy-free"

And the road goes by and calls me as it goes

And every road I see will lead me home (i’m going on the road in a matter of months. It’s unclear exactly when but it’s getting close.)

12:15 displacement spatial relations—instrumental

12:24 with my whole heart sufjan stevens —-

(I confess the world's a mess but I will always love you)

Back from the grave 12:24 chromatics —

Memories fade

Like a thief in the night they try to put out the light

When I look at the sky

Well I wish I was gone

Because mother you're gone and father you're gone

Lover you're gone and other you're gone (this has always been Stella‘s song, and also about what was happening.)

Do the strand Roxy music 12:29 PM—All styles served here (that refers to the music and how the playlists are expanding to all sorts of music that I never listened to before)

Another radio song okkervil river 12:34–There is no escaping

The thing that is making

Its home in your radio (I guess you could say that hopefully this blog well teach people to listen to what’s playing around them, and what they can learn about it. Also that Wilco song is playing as I write this.)

[soybeantree]

pairing: johnny x reader

genre/warning: fluff, magic!au

word count: 3k

description: you hated him. his stupid face smiling. his stupid charisma that would always woo the customers - of which you had no doubt was aided by the use of magic. his stupid cousin - that you actually adored and would kill to have him even notice you, but who continuously chose johnny over you for assistance. and most of all you hated how your lungs forgot their one job whenever he was within 5 feet of you.  

a/n: from the essem: rosemary by moonlight universe. not necessary to read that first, but some things may not make complete sense.

"I'd like an iced caramel Frappuccino with low fat milk and a pump of pep. To go." The customer rattles off her order as she approaches the counter, never sparing you a greeting or even a glance. From her clean-cut bob to her khaki shorts and salmon button down, you know exactly how this conversation is going to go.

Contorting your cheeks into your best customer service smile and using your most pleasant tone, you inform her, "I'm sorry ma'am, but any drinks with magical add-ins must be consumed within the cafe."

Now, she glances at you, her wallet poised in her hand as her face falls into what you refer to as the entitled scowl. "Excuse me?"

“Any drinks with magical add-ins must be consumed within the café.” You repeat, despite the fact that you enunciated clearly the first time. To help with any possible confusion, you gesture to the bright golden script at the bottom of the menu which states the same.

The woman scoffs, and you inhale a deep, imperceptible breath. “Why?” Indignation laces the word and colors her cheeks red.

Many reasons. Most of which revolve around negligence and exploitation, but that explanation drags. Reminding yourself that you want this job and have jumped through hoops to get it, you dredge up every ounce of patience in your body. With a smile still in place, you say. “We strive to abide by the standards set forth within the Council’s Magical Charter. I would be more than happy to complete your order, but any drink with magical add-ins must be consumed on property.”

“I-“ You brace yourself for the entitled tirade, but the woman’s face melts into a bewildered smile. A glance over your shoulder reveals the reason. Johnny, your fellow barista, stands behind you, his cheeks pulled back by a swoon worthy grin. 

With a sigh, you step away from the counter and let Johnny work his magic. Quite literally. Johnny, like you, has the skill of enchantment. As a member of the Essem Family, he has had access to training and knowledge all his life. You on the other hand come from a no name family who has one grimoire passed down from generation to generation, and the two-page section on enchantment only works for curing melancholy. 

In moments, Johnny has the woman pacified with an iced caramel Frappuccino with low fat milk and no pump of pep, to go. She sends him another smile before she nearly collides with the door on her way out. After a giggle which Johnny echoes, she is gone, and you’re ready to vomit. 

"Did you add a shot of charm to your coffee this morning?" You ask as you resume your position.

Johnny flashes you a grin while raising a single smug eyebrow. "No, I'm just naturally this charming." You gag as you turn away which elicits a chuckle from him. “What, you don’t think I’m charming?”

“I think you are a talented witch.” You say as you reorganize your station. While leaning over the counter to schmooze the woman, Johnny managed to throw the entire place into disarray. You return the business cards to their holder and the pencils to their cup.

“You really think I’m using magic when I calm irritated customers?” 

A twang in his voice draws your attention back to him. Glancing over your shoulder, your stomach twists. For such a tall man, he can make himself appear so small. His shoulders hunch in as he fiddles with the ties on his apron. The posture throws his long bangs into his eyes, obscuring them from your scrutiny.

The answer to his question is “yes”, but the answer brews from a petty spite which you stoke every time Minseok, the café’s owner and the foremost expert on enchantment magic, chooses him as an assistant over you. The whole reason you strived for a position at the café was to become Minseok’s apprentice, but every day he chooses Johnny to help with his brews. While you enjoy blaming Johnny, you know the favoritism is due to the inclusiveness of the covens. After all, Johnny is Minseok’s cousin. 

“Since when do you care what I think? I thought I was just the hired help.” 

His head snaps up, the ties of his apron forgotten as he gazes into your eyes. The contact cools your spite, and it sours. Your stomach rolls at the discomfort, and you clear your throat and return to your reorganization.  

“Minseok doesn’t hire just anyone to help in the café.”

You know this. You badgered him for a job ever since Johnny told you about his cousin and his café. Minseok had been the sole employee for years after the café’s inception, hiring Johnny only when the café’s popularity grew. Eventually, the work became too much for the two of them, and rather than hire a qualified enchantment witch, Minseok had hired the girl with little-to-no skill who practically lived at the shop.

“Whatever.” You grumble as you throw another pencil into the holder. The force sends the jar spinning. It falls on its side spilling its contents across the counter. With a growl, you reach for the scattered pencils, but Johnny’s long arms reach around you. The pencils disappear into one hand as his other rights the holder before returning the contents. 

You duck out from under Johnny’s unintentional embrace, your cheeks burning. He has to be using his magic. You hold tight to this belief as you breathe to calm your racing heart. 

“Minseok likes having you here. You’re as detail oriented as he is.” Johnny nods to the front and back counters both of which have everything in their place and a place for everything. “I’m pretty certain you’re the only person in the world who understands his organizational method.”

“It’s not that hard. Ingredients are organized first by purchase date and then alphabetical. Supplies are..." You trail off as you catch sight of Johnny’s smirk out of the corner of your eye. “You really expect me not to think you’re using magic when you always seem to know exactly what to say to distract me?”

He shrugs, but his smirk only grows. “There are other reasons, I might know that.” Before you can question him further, the bell above the front door jingles. “Duty calls.” He tips his head to you before disappearing back into the brewing room. 

With a deep breath, you shove the conversation from your mind and rattle off the customary greeting as you turn to face the new customer. 

“Good morning, Y/N. How goes the grind?” You blink a moment as your brain registers that your cousin is here. She misses your confusion as she is too busy chuckling at her pun.

"It’s great. How goes your fruitless endeavor to start a school of magic?"

She scowls which brings a genuine smile to your face. "It's not fruitless. It's slow moving because covens are full of stuck up assholes who refuse to share their knowledge because of what? They're afraid it will diminish their power and their prestige. They need to get their heads out of their asses and think about how much better the world would be if we all worked together and shared our knowledge." 

This tirade is as familiar as the Entitled tirade. "And yet, you always get coffee at an Essem café?" You comment as you punch her order into the register.

"Minseok has the best coffee.” She hands you her card. “Everyone in the city knows that. Everyone in the world probably knows it too."

"But you're supporting the coven with the most stuck up assholes." You return the card to her.

"You're working at the coffee shop."

"But I don't have the same issues with them that you do." Not mostly at least. You would appreciate it if Minseok occasionally asked you back into the brewing room. 

She shrugs. “Did you place that order for here or to go?”

“To go?” You raise a brow. 

“I need it for here.”

“Why?” You stretch the word into two syllables. 

“Because I’m staying here.” Rolling your eyes, you adjust the order. "I'm supposed to be meeting up with Yuri." She explains as she checks her watch. "But, she's late as usual."

Your finger pauses above the register as you gawk at your cousin. "Yuri? As in the hedge-witch of the Stahn Family?"

"Yuri is much more than a hedge witch."

"Okay, whatever,” You hold up your hands, stopping whatever tirade she will surely start. “But she’s a Stahn and this is an Essem cafe?"

"Yes,” she crosses her arm, and there is no stopping this coming tirade. “Why is it so hard to understand what me and the Fantagios are trying to do? We want to create a world where people can see beyond their family covens and share knowledge for the benefit of the world."

Leaning forward, you shorten the distance between you and your cousin. The more heated she becomes the louder she gets. The customers have already started to side eye her, and the last thing you need is for Johnny and, especially, Minseok to hear her. "That's great and all. But your dream is not reality and you agreed to meet up with a Stahn on Essem territory. They're basically mortal enemies. This could end in bloodshed, and I could lose my job because I'm related to you."

"Calm down. Yuri wouldn't have agreed to meet here if she was worried for her safety."

You swallow your rebuttal as you hear the hinges of the brewing room door squeak. Your cousin’s eyes grow to the size of saucers, and you wonder why Minseok is delivering her coffee. He rarely leaves the brewing room, leaving all the deliveries to Johnny.

Minseok extends a mug to your cousin who whimpers a “thank you” as she takes it. She sips. Her cheeks flush, but whether that is due to Minseok or the heat of the coffee only your cousin knows. 

“Is it good?” Minseok’s question raises one of your brows. In the year and a half that you’ve been working for Minseok, you have never heard him ask a customer’s opinion of his work. Pink tinges the tips of his ears, and you have to refrain from pinching yourself. Maybe, this whole day has been a dream.

“It’s delicious.” Your cousin, the queen of social justice tirades, simpers.

The nausea from earlier returns as you suffer through the ensuing conversation. Despite your effort to tune it out, you hear Minseok comment on your cousin’s frequent visits to the café. She explains that you’re her cousin, which you wish she would have left out given what is about to happen, and that he makes the best coffee in the city. His whole ears brighten at the compliment, the red creeping into his cheeks. Surely, a customer is bound to come in soon and end this disgusting display of emotions.

“Y/N can keep you company while you wait.”

 Your name snaps your attention back to the conversation. You blink as you search your brain for the lead into the statement but find nothing. “What?”

 “I was telling Uko,” Your cousin must have introduced herself while you attempted disassociation, “that you can take your break early to wait with her.”

“Oh, I mean sure if you’re okay with that.” The look on Minseok’s face screams that he would be okay with anything that your cousin wanted. 

“Go ahead.” He motions for you to be on your way, and with a slight nod, you head into the brewing room which offers the exit into the main area.

Johnny, busy at a cauldron, eyes you as you walk past him and remove your apron. “Where are you going?”

“I’m taking my break.” You say with a shake of your head as you hang your apron on its hook.

A glance at the clock scrunches up Johnny’s face and puffs out his already large lips. “But, your break’s in an hour?”

“Listen,” you say, turning to face him completely. “I don’t know what I just witnessed out there.” You gesture to the door behind which you are certain the uncomfortable situation is continuing. “But, Minseok said go to break, so I am going to break.”

“What did you witness?” Johnny grabs a mortar and pestle from the counter and adds three pinches to his cauldron. A faint smell of strawberries wafts through the room bringing with it the image of sunlight fields and a gentle breeze. He’s brewing happiness. The ingredient he added was green. Was it an herb? A stone? A mixture of different things? “Y/N?”

“What?” Your mind snaps back to the moment as you remember that Johnny did ask a question. “Is your cousin dating anyone?” You ask rather than answer.

Johnny pauses mid-stir and stares at you. “No.” He draws out the word as he slowly starts to stir the cauldron counter clockwise. “Are you asking for a friend?”

Your eyes narrow at his tone. “No, I’m asking because he’s currently flirting with my cousin, and it’s gross.”

“What?!” His whole face lights up, and he nearly spills the cauldron in his haste to reach the door to the order counter. Sprinting across the room, you reach the door before he does and block it with your body.

“What are you doing?” You pant as your lungs struggle to refill.

“Our family, at least the cool people in our family, have a bet going that Minseok has a wife and two kids in hiding or that he is a celibate monk. I bet that he hasn’t found the right one. Now move, so I can prove I was right and win the bet.” He tries to shove you to the side, but you dig your heels in and refuse to budge. “Come on.” He whines, pulling his bottom lip up into a pout.

“If you want me to move, then you had better use your magic because this is already ridiculous enough.” Fortifying yourself for the oncoming attack, you blink in surprise when Johnny steps back with a shrug.

“I don’t need to. I can ask Minseok about it when he comes back here.” He returns to the cauldron. The potion has turned a putrid shade of green, and Johnny hisses as he tries to fix the problem. 

Staying would provide you valuable knowledge, but Minseok has yet to approve your assistance with the brewing. Staying also means you would witness the next installment of this non-thrilling saga.

Minseok and your cousin are still talking when you exit the brewing room into the main area. They probably haven’t even realized how long you’ve been gone or that their conversation was almost interrupted by an overly inquisitive mind.  

“There’s a free table over there.” You bust into the middle of a conversation about magical vs. non-magical cleaning products. 

“Right.” Your cousin looks to you, then back to Minseok. “It was very nice talking with you.” Her smile stretches across her face. “Maybe we could talk more later.”

Minseok’s smile is more subdued than your cousin’s, but it’s more than what you witness on a typical Tuesday. “Yes, I would like that.”

“Minseok.” Johnny’s head pops out of the brewing room. “I need your help with something.” The stench of rotten fruit leaks through the open door. Minseok mutters a quick apology before disappearing into the brewing room. 

You take a seat at the free table, a smug smile on your face. Your cousin is slower to take her seat, her smile still in place. “Is this really the first time you’ve met Minseok?” You ask when she finally settles in her seat.

“Yes,” she answers though her eyes remain on the brewing room door. “He had already graduated when I started high school. I heard about him from the upperclassmen, but they did not do him justice. He is one fine man.”

“Gross. Can you take your thirsty ass and get out of my place of work?”

“You work in a coffee shop, a place where thirsty people are literally supposed to come.” She quips back, finally glancing at you.

“Please, people don’t come to cafes because they’re thirsty. They come to work, socialize, or take aesthetic photos, and maybe sometimes for caffeine.” 

Before she can formulate a rebuttal, the bell above the front door jingles, and in walks the reason for your cousin’s visit. In your disgust, you had forgotten the threat to your job. Panic races through your veins as your attention shifts to the counter. You wish for all the luck in the world, but luck abandons you. Instead of Johnny coming to greet the new customer, Minseok emerges once again. Habit controls him as he smiles and gives the customary greeting. Only after the last word leaves his mouth does recognition register in his eyes. 

"Yuri." The name is a question and a greeting.

The hedge-witch tilts her head a fraction of a degree in the semblance of a nod. "Minseok." She returns the greeting. You wait - breath held, heart racing - for the coming altercation.

"Kyungsoo's been looking for you. He seems to be worried about something. Is everything okay?"

"You can mind your own damn business." She huffs, her arms crossing over her chest.

You flinch, but Minseok chuckles. "I'm merely a messenger."

"Well messenger, you can tell Kyungsoo - and please make this verbatim - 'I'm fine. Thank you. You can suck my dick'."

Minseok jots the message down on his guest check book, glancing up at Yuri when he finishes. "Anything else?"

"No, that's all."

"Would you like to order anything?"

"Hell, no. I'm here to meet with someone." She glances around the shop. 

You shrink down in your chair, hoping to avoid detection, but your cousin shreds that hope. She waves her hand, drawing both of their attention to you two. Minseok’s eyes rest on you for a moment before shifting to your cousin. 

Yuri returns the wave as she walks to your table. "Hey Uko, sorry I'm late. The potion needed to brew a little longer this morning than I anticipated. I blame this muggy weather. It's messing with everything I make. Is this your cousin?" She nods to you as she plunks into the last of the three chairs at your table. Uko nods her head. "Nice to meet you."

"You might not think it's so nice. She works here."

A hiss slips out as Yuri shakes her head. "Why must the young always be corrupted?"

"Don't worry. I might not have a job for much longer." You sigh as you push yourself out of your chair. "Breaks over. I’ll find out soon enough if I do or not."

"Minseok might be an Essem, but he's not going to fire you because you have a connection to me.” Yuri assures you. “If he does though, let me know and I'll kick his ass." Yuri grins, showing all of her teeth, and you chuckle despite the anxieties waging war in your stomach.

Walking back into the brewing room, you grab your apron and slip it on while keeping your back to Minseok and Johnny. With a deep breath, you turn to face them. Johnny stands over the cauldron which is a deep forest green and simmering pleasantly. You breathe in the smell of strawberries and hope the happiness has rubbed off on Minseok who is standing beside Johnny and whispering instructions. 

With a glance up, Minseok pats Johnny on the shoulder and walks towards you. Lifting leaden feet, you meet him by the door to the ordering counter. 

A volley of words waits on your tongue, but they retreat when Minseok asks, “Can you give this to your cousin?” The “this” he is referring to is a folded scrap of paper.

You take the paper, nodding as you slip it into the back pocket of your jeans. “Sure. What is it?”

A small smile lifts his cheeks, and his voice is soft when he says, “My number.”

You choke on your response, and you can hear Johnny chuckling as you attempt to regain your breath. Minseok offers to get you a drink, but you wave off his concern. “What?” You finally manage to get out.

“I forgot to ask for your cousin’s number when we were talking.” He pouts. “I was hoping you would give her mine and tell her she can text me whenever.” 

“Sure.” You pause before asking, “Should I go back to work now?”

“Of course.” His response is instantaneous and a flood of relief washes through you. “And thank you.” He adds, the corners of his mouth quirking up. With a nod, he returns to Johnny’s side. 

Exiting the brewing room, you shake your head. On the plus side, you still have your job. On the negative side, your cousin might start dating your boss which may not be a complete negative but it definitely isn’t a positive.

[willow-salix]

Day 100 of Isolation on Tracy Island and I'm writing this as a continuation from yesterday because I didn't have time to finish it then. And yes, before you ask, I am talking to Gordon again, because it was actually quite sweet in the end.

You know what it's been like during lockdown, everything has kinda blended into one longass day? I’ve lost track of dates, lost track of days in general, all they are is a number now, I know this is day 100 but I couldn’t tell you the month. Apparently it’s June, who knew?

We walked in after our little submarine jaunt and Gordon made his announcement. Scott popped his head around the door, looked panicked for a second and then vanished. Two seconds later John was forcibly shoved through the door into the kitchen with us. He stumbled and flailed for a second then pulled himself together.

“Hey, you’re back, I missed you!” he pulled me into a hug but I was wise to his moves and noticed the gesture he made behind my back allowing Virgil to sneak out from behind the breakfast bar and make a run for it.

“OK what’s going on?”

“Nothing!”

“Really?” I pulled back to hit him with a warning glare, just a little one to let him know I wasn’t appreciating the fibs. “Gordon said he was distracting me.”

“Well, Gordon is an idiot,” John shrugged, “I wouldn’t pay too much attention to anything he says.”

“Hey, unfair!”

“Accurate,” I agreed. “But unfair. Now spill it, Spaceman.”

“OK, fine,” he conceded, holding out a hand, “come on, follow me. You too, Gordo.”

He led the way up to the lounge where there was a hive of activity going on. You know in those old cartoons where everyone is dashing around and someone walks in and they all stop like they have been freeze framed, mid activity, just staring at you like you’re a three headed alien dancing with maracas. Which I wasn’t, I can assure you.

“Gahh, she’s here!” Alan yelped and they all came back to life.

“Happy birthday!” they choroused.

“You what now? Who’s birthday is it? Oh my gods, did I forget someone's birthday? Wait, is it August already? I’m so sorry, Virg! I suck! I’ll make it up to you.”

“It’s June,” John reminded me.

“It is? Who’s birthday is in June?” I flipped frantically through my mental rolodex of family rubbish and came up empty.

“Love, it’s your birthday.”

I snorted. “I think I’d know if it was-” he showed me the date on his phone, “-my birthday,” I finished. Dang. “I can’t believe I forgot my own birthday.”

"Well, you have been a bit distracted lately," Jeff laughed.

“We’ve all chipped in to help,” Scott told me, handing me a glass of something blue with an umbrella in it. “Better sip that carefully at first, MAX made it, Brains has been teaching him to mix drinks and he’s insisting on being our bartender today.”

“We have presents,” Alan grinned.

“And I made a cake!” Grandma smiled, gesturing to the coffee table.

“Oh...oh you guys are amazing,” I sniffed, feeling tears brewing.

“Quick, John, waterworks at 3 o’clock,” Virgil laughed as I was dragged into another hug.

“Nope, crying is not allowed,” John insisted, petting my hair.

“I can if I want to, because apparently it’s my birthday,” I mumbled against his shoulder.

The tears didn’t actually last that long, just long enough for me to mark my territory by getting foundation and mascara smears on his shirt. I’m a woman, it’s what we do.

Everyone gave me hugs and someone put on some music to 'really get the party going' although it was something call Gangnam Style so I think it was Grandma, she was doing a very weird dance to it too.

My mum called during the cake, which gave me a perfect excuse not to eat any of it (thanks Mum) and I promised that I’d visit them the next day.

The drinks that MAX mixed were...interesting, mostly palatable, very strong and they led to some very sloppy karaoke numbers that Scott and I started but the others helped to finish.

Someone had managed to get off the island and pick up take out and yes, Alan had been right, there were presents.

It turned out that Virgil had been borrowing my things to work on a witchy tarot card themed painting for the wall of my office, Alan got me a years membership to Cavern Quest (I think that’s more for his benefit than mine) Gordon got me a Thunderbird Four bath toy, Scott bought himself a new hoodie so I could keep his (Yay, but it's bold of him to think I won’t steal that one too) and John unfortunately didn’t get me the kitten or the hamster that I wanted but he did get me a cute little moon necklace and a promise of another present later, so I’ll forgive him.

I’m writing this a little worse for wear and all alone apart from Alan, Jeff, Grandma and Kayo.

We were all slumped around the breakfast table, sipping coffee like it was our life’s blood and trying to force some toast down into our rebelling stomachs, my head was pounding and Gordon was SOOO LOUD.

BEEP BEEP BEEP

“Urghhh,” I groaned, “turn that off. Whatever it is, it’s bad for me right now, " I tried to burrow my aching head under Alan's arm but it did nothing.

“It’s the emergency line,” John answered, sitting up straighter.

“Emergency line?” Scott shot upright too.

“Is this it? Do we have one?” Virgil asked, starting to smile.

John nodded. “Yep. Guys, you’re going to the Bahamas.”

Everyone scrambled, looking so dang happy to be moving again, to have a purpose again, taking off at a run for the lounge and their launch chutes and John to five to coordinate.

It looks like the world really is starting up again even though it is hard to think about. We’re used to being a bit isolated here and cut off from the rest of the world, but this has been a long lockdown and no doubt about it, it’s not completely over, not by a long shot.

We still have to social distance, we still have to wait for a call from the local authorities giving us permission to enter their country rather than just going wherever we are needed, but it’s progress.

This will be my last regular update for a while, it’s been an interesting three months and I’ve thoroughly enjoyed sharing our daily lives with you all in more depth, but now we need a little time to ourselves.

But don’t worry, I’ll still share the best stories with you all, I’ll still tell you all when something ridiculous happens, because let’s face it, it’s us, it’s a foregone conclusion that things will never be quiet here for long.

So, until I have something else to share, here’s a big thank you for spending time with us every day, for reading about our crazy lives and for laughing along with us (and crying with me too). Remember to stay safe, don’t take stupid risks, look after yoursleves and those you hold dear.

International Rescue are never far away, if you need them, just call, any frequency will do, they’ll hear you.

Bye for now.

(( Don't worry, I've loved doing these and will continue doing a diary for Selene as it was such fun. Isabelle did another picture to accompany this one, so here's the latest family portrait))

[atiny-piratequeen]

This goes without saying but um. Dont fucking take people's work and repost it?? (Especially on fucking Wattpad, since that seems to be the sweet spot for stolen work) and dont fucking change people's fucking work after copypasting it to "broaden their audience". Like?? Fuck you???

***just incase this starts to get reblogged by people who don't know me by name, the person these scs came from isnt me, but a writer on twt.

To make matters worse, not only did the person who stole from them speak to them in this really fucking rude, dismissive ass manner, she also proceeded to go on her own twt account when people found out who she was and start pulling the "im older, i dont have time to argue with kids"card with people who called her out on the fact that she literally stole someones work that had a clearly lgbt relationship and changed it to a heterosexual one for "diversity" and to "broaden ops audience"

Let me fucking tell yall something. The media doesn't give us LGBTQIA+ people much representation, what we have are usually side or background characters that are riddled with problematic stereotypes written usually by a heterosexual director. We have lgbt+ roles being played by non lgbt+ people and so on. Obviously there are exceptions to the rule, but for the most part, our (proper) representation in media is niche at best, and we can't even have lgbt+ characters intoduced without religious nuts fucking trying to raise hell on us or people going "i dont see why you need to make (insert media form) so PC, why does that character NEED to be gay/trans/bi/anything thats not cis or het" as if we have to give you a reason for us to fucking exist.

I'll use myself as an example. I am a pansexual, polyamorous black woman. You'll be hard pressed to find a pan person in media at all, even more hard pressed to find a main character of a mainstream show thats a black woman thats also lgbt, even MORE hard pressed to find any mainstream media that has a polyamorous relationship that isnt boiled down to "hurr durr friends with benefits, gotta fuck multiple people, cant be chained down huhuhu" type bullshit.

So i lovingly make my fics, most of them showing healthy poly relationships and dynamics, almost all of them with lgbt+ characters. I write het fics, i write m/m fics as well as m/f fics and f/f fics and fics with non binary people as well.

For a lot of us, fics are one of the biggest places we can find diversity and inclusion with lgbt relationships in all forms, but most importantly, in a way thats not mocking of our fucking lives (mostly). We can read a fic with non binary or trans characters. We can read a fic with a poly main character that genuinely cares for all of their partners, and isnt some playboy/girl/person or whatever. We can read a fic made by an intersex person who wants to tell a story and use this fic as their medium.

For you to fucking take a work at all is fucking garbage. But especially so when you take a fucking lgbt+ fucking work and change someone's elses story to make it a heterosexual one. The majority of media IS heterosexual. It IS cisgendered. And there's nothing wrong with being heterosexual or cisgendered, I'm not saying that here.

But just like you have your story, us lgbt+ people have ours. You want a het fanfic of the ships you want? Write it your fucking self. Dont fucking take other people's fucking works.

[domesticsns]

I'm so curious about what happened at the restaurant between Sasuke and his father.

aAh, yeah that happened after Naori was missing and after Naruto and Sasuke had a very big fight about Fugaku revealing the one who blew the whistle on the military boarding school ran by Danzo was Sasuke and he didn’t know this. 

So Fugaku wanted to patch things up and apologize for the night and he contacted Naruto because he could not get in touch with Sasuke. Naruto talked to Sasuke and convinced him to go. Of course, Naruto is this guy who gives out chances like cheap candy. But he convinced Sasuke and said Fugaku was trying to chance and wasn’t this some sort of improvement that he reached out now than never. 

Sasuke giving it the benefit of the doubt. Decided to tag along and when they reached the restaurant that was actually pretty nice place and not some warn out bar as he had expected his father to choose. This was odd to Sasuke, but his questions were quickly answered when he saw a young women, not older than forty years old next to his father. She had this blond long curly hair and brown eyes and quite big bosoms.They headed to their table and Naruto eagerly introduced himself. He, as Naruto is. Gave Fugaku a hug and the women was like  “Oh I am a hugger too!” and proceeded to hug Naruto and she introduced herself. When she headed to Sasuke. Sasuke couldn’t get away from her faster. It was only that Naruto was standing behind him that he was forced to be a recipient of a hug he never wanted to be in anyway. He didn’t give his father a hand, he just give him an acknowledgement of a nod before they sat down. 

The women started talking. She said how Fugaku, her boyfriend, had told her all about them. Sasuke looks over at his father and then back at the women and interrupts her talking by asking her how old she is  and she chuckles and says a lady never reveals her age. Naruto laughed but Sasuke stared at her intensified. 

She then coughed and said she was 39 and Sasuke looks back at his father and says, “She is as old as your child.” 

“Come on Sasuke...They’re adults, stop.” Naruto said, putting his hand over Sasuke’s and squeezing it which might appear supportive from the outside, but this was Naruto’s  “YOU’RE BEING RUDE, BASTARD!” Squeeze. 

“Right...Sorry.” Sasuke threw back his glass of wine before grabbing a waiter and says: “I need something stronger...Bring me scotch and whenever see my glass empty you fill. Okay?” He grabs a fifty note and puts it in the waiter’s pocket.

So Naruto is talking to Fugaku’s girlfriend. Naruto talks about his job with children and she talks about her job as a hairdresser and Fugaku chipped in he conversation a little and Sasuke wasn’t talking...Didn’t want to talk either. But the woman was kindly trying to talk to Sasuke too. She starts talking about his job but Sasuke was being very short with her. Then she tried to compliment him by telling him he was very good looking. 

“Thank you. I take after my mother who shot through the head because she was struggling with mental illness and my father dismissed it as her being an attention seeking whore.” He looked at his father who snapped he had never spoken so ill of his late wife.  Sasuke said he might as well have because she was dead either way. 

“I am sure things were...Different back then,” the women said and she wrapped her arms around Fugaku’s and said, “he has been nothing but supportive with my son. He was going such a rough path with his biological father. I thought he would be broken forever, but then Fugaku came in our lives and we couldn’t be happier.” 

“Oh you have son....” Sasuke looked at his dad. 

“Tell us more about him,” Naruto tired to stir the conversation a little to something more positive. 

“Well he is 13 and not even that long ago he was a she.” She said proudly. “When he came out to us about how he felt. I knew he was always my son and supported him. But my former husband did not and we got in a lot of arguments and we seperated. This had very emotional toll on Oliver. He blamed himself. He was really depressed, but with a lot of love and support from Fugaku and me and therapy he is doing a lot better. I am so proud of my little boy. He really looks up to Fugaku now, he wants to join the police force and follow in his footsteps. Fugaku is teaching him all these manly things.” She laughed at her own words and when she turned to look at Sasuke he could see such hatred in his eyes it was almost scary. 

“Oliver is trans...” Sasuke said, “You are fine with this, but when you figured out I was in love with Naruto. You packed my bags and send me away!” Sasuke raised his voice. 

“Sasuke no-” Naruto tried to calm him down, but even he knew by Sasuke’s look hew as too far gone. 

“No, you shut up!” Sasuke shouted. 

“You send me away! You abandoned me! My mother shot herself through the head you wouldn’t look me in the eye. When I was unable to talk for three years you locked me in a closet and forced me to piss myself in order to get me to talk while every specialist told you it was mental. And when I found shred of happiness in my live in the form of this dumbass!” He pointed at Naruto, “You send me to an all boys military boarding school in otogakure ran by a guy you barely knew and just left me at his mercy and didn’t even try to find out what was happening behind those locked doors! You cut me off without a second thought and put me through hell where I had to do unthinkable shit to survive!” 

“I was a different person back then,” Fugaku said, “I didn’t know better-” 

“And now you’re suddenly a saint!?” Sasuke shouted. Everybody in the restaurant was staring. “People don’t fucking change!” Sasuke stood up. “I thought when you reached out to me. I was sceptical and I was right to be sceptical! You’re the biggest asshole in this fucking world!” 

“Sasuke if this is about Danzo. I thought it was just a strict school I had no idea what was really going on behind those gates until they were exposed-” 

“YOU’RE CHIEF OF POLICE! IT WAS YOUR FUCKING JOB TO KNOW! YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN!” Sasuke screamed.  “YOU KNOW THE SHIT I HAD TO GO THROUGH! THE FUCKED UP THINGS I THOUGHT WOULD EARN YOUR RESPECT ONE DAY JUST FOR YOU TO NOT EVEN SHOW UP WHEN I GRADUATE. TO NEVER EVEN ONCE CONSIDER SIGNING THE PERMISSION SLIP TO GET ME OUT OF THERE, NOT EVEN DURING THE HOLIDAYS!” 

Sasuke broke the fucking table with one kick screaming. 

“Sasuke!” Naruto shouted his husband’s name, this probably prevented him from not twisting Fugaku’s neck on the spot. 

“I could kill you in a heartbeat,” Sasuke grabbed Fugaku by his collar,  “-but the only reason you’re breathing right now is because I love that little gay shit-” he pointed at Naruto, “And he opposed to murder.” He pushed Fugaku away from him before leaving. 

“I am so sorry....” Naruto said getting up looking awkwardly around him seeing all the people looking at him and they looked scared. Some people grabbed their phones and were filming the whole thing. 

“Uhm...” He grabbed his credit card and handed it to the waiter, “Just charge everything on here...I’ll come back for it. Sorry again...Don’t file charges...”  He said as he jogged out of the restaurant and into the rain. Trying to find his husband outside. He finally caught up to Sasuke and had to jog to keep up with him storming rage pace.

“You want to tell me what that is about!? Sasuke! Sasuke, talk to me! You can’t ignore me!” Naruto said, walking behind Sasuke. His husband wasn’t responding. 

“I know what he did to you was wrong, but the whole reconnecting to him was to give him a second chance. He obviously is a changed men he is treating  this woman so kindly and is accepting of her son. When we first met him he didn’t even know there were more two genders and now he is supporting a trans kid because he educated himself on the matter. He is trying, he has regrets. I don’t understand what more you want from him?!” 

“I don’t care what the fuck he does with that kid or that woman. I want nothing to do with him.” 

“Sasuke, you were open about giving him a chance. Why is this not a positive thing to you. Is this not the solid proof that he changed and is more open minded. Why are you angry?” 

“BECAUSE IF HE WAS GOING TO BE THIS CHANGED MAN, WHY COULDN’T HE BE LIKE THAT WHEN I WAS GROWING UP!” Sasuke shouted, turning around. Naruto saw big tears rolling over his cheeks and his heart stopped beating for a second. He had to look twice, so he wasn’t deceived if it wasn’t just the rain rolling off his cheeks. 

“You don’t understand I am his son and he just left me...He broke me...” Sasuke whispered, his voice cracking as he spoke. 

Naruto wrapped his arms around Sasuke and hugged him tightly, placing a kiss on his hair as he could hear his husband sobbing. 

“It is not fair what happened to you, Sasuke. I’m sorry. I should not have pushed you into giving your father a second chance.” 

‘Yeah...” He heard Sasuke mutter as he had his face buried in Naruto’s neck. His grip around his husband tightening. They were pretty soaked in the rain as they stood there for a while till Sasuke calmed down and pulled away, rubbing his eyes. Naruto gave him a soft kiss on his lips. 

“I should go back...I broke a table, I need to pay for that.”

“Yeah I gave the waiter my credit card. I can pick it up tomorrow.” Naruto let his hand go through Sasuke’s hair, pushing his bangs back and holding his face in his hand giving him another kiss on his lips. They went to Naruto’s favourite ramen shop and they were soaked as they entered and sat down on the bar stools. Naruto gave Sasuke his jacket because he was wearing a white shirt and leave much for the imagination. Naruto was sticking up the chopstick in his mouth making it look like a walrus teeth and Sasuke chuckled before they ate a hot bowl of ramen as Naruto told Sasuke a funny story that happened at school, making him laugh. 

They ended up going home, throwing their clothes in the hamper before taking a warm bath together. 

[treatian]

The Chronicles of the Dark One:  The Dark Curse

Chapter 49:  Tales of the Abandoned

He took Zelena to the forest, just outside the little valley village close to his castle. There was little choice in the matter. Naturally, he couldn't take her to the village outside of Regina's castle! With such a bold statement, she'd just admitted without discretion that she was Cora's daughter. And while Regina was, in fact, married to the King, there were still several problems that could arise if Zelena were to open her mouth in close proximity to her sister. Not to mention the fact that he couldn't be sure what would happen to Regina if she found out that she had a sister. He was just barely managing to get her through this squabble with Snow White he couldn't be sure what would happen if he had to worry about a sister coming into the picture.

No, the forest outside of his castle, far from Regina, was safest. But where to go from there…he hadn't a clue. It had been a long time since he felt he'd been in a chess match with Cora, but at the moment all that came to his mind was a vision of Cora sitting back on her throne with a knowing smile as she said "checkmate" in her seductive breathy voice.

"What are you doing?! Where are we?! What did you do to me?!" Zelena screamed before finally pushing him away. Tendrils of magic leaped at his skin at such an action, and he wanted so desperately to throw something at her that might shut her up, but at the moment when what he needed most were answers.

"Magical transportation. Comes in handy when you need to get from place to place," he explained away instead, watching as she paced in the little clearing looking this way and that, holding her hand to her throat and looking as though she might cry out for help…something she couldn't do just before they'd arrived here. "Oh! That. Let's just say removal of the voice is a magic trick that is typically gratefully learned. Kind of like…this magic!" Into his hand, he summoned a torch for her benefit as he could see just fine. It was like a moth to the flame. The second it sparked to life, Zelena stopped fussing about and came closer to him, her eyes wide. A moth indeed. She reminded him something of moth. Her eyes were big. She was taller than both Regina and Cora were. And hairy. Though, not in an unflattering sort of way. She had vibrant red bushy hair that resembled neither Cora nor Regina nor even Henry, though he knew that Henry would not have been this girl's father. That man…he couldn't begin to fathom who that man might have been. Perhaps someone Cora met while delivering flour or working in the tavern? A wanderer? A traveler? Someone who had a bit of coin to offer, he wouldn't have put that past Cora. Not at all. If it weren't for her cheeks and chin, and a certain sense of cold in her eyes, he would have assumed that even his magic was wrong and she was of no relation to Cora. But magic didn't lie. And neither did the hunger in her gaze as she crept closer to examine the torch in his hand.

"Magic! It's beautiful! Can you teach me?!"

"Not. So. Fast!" he taunted, pulling the torch away when she lunged for it. "I've a few questions of my own. First and foremost…who are you?" he asked pointing at her.

She took a step back, her face dropping and wrinkling as a child's might after they were denied a toy they wanted and instead given a test for it.

"I've told you. I'm Zelena, the firstborn daughter of Cora."

"Yes, yes, you've covered that, now I need to know the rest."

"The rest? What more do you need to know?"

He didn't roll his eyes, though he wanted to desperately. But with her standing there looking confused and scared, and all that beautiful magic flowing freely through her, he didn't think that the smartest course of action. Wherever she'd been, this girl clearly had little access to education.

"Let's start with the basics," he suggested bringing the light forward once more and making her squint. "If you're the firstborn of Cora, then why does everyone believe that her firstborn, and only child, resides in the castle with the King? Where have you been?"

The girl deflated, visibly. Her shoulders slumped, and she looked down at her feet; gone was the pride she had when she announced that she was a child of Cora. What was left was naught but an unassuming, but still very powerful, frightened little girl.

"Over the rainbow…" she shrugged with a small amused smirk.

"Precious, but I'm going to need you to be more specific."

"Oz."

"Oz…" he echoed. The word was foreign, and yet he knew it all the same, from Dark Ones past but also from his new acquaintanceship with Jefferson. He was almost positive he'd heard the boy mention something about it before. Which meant it was more than another land, it was another realm entirely.

"Yes…my father only just told me that I wasn't theirs, you see. He is a woodcutter and a drunk there. My mother died years ago, but I believed they were my real parents until he just…burst out that I wasn't theirs! They found me."

"And how was that? How did you get from here…all the way to Oz?"

"I'm…I'm not sure…I was only a baby, and my father said it was a tornado, but…but I had to know myself so I went to see the Wizard. I wanted to be here, I wanted to know all about-"

"Ah-ah-ah!" he cut off, shoving a waving finger in her face because he had the sense that she was once more leading up to something that he wasn't ready for her to go yet. "Still, my turn."

"Well…when do I get my turn?!" she asked without a hint of demand in her voice. There was only pouting. Older than Regina and yet she resembled a child far more than her younger sister. What had this Oz done to this girl? What had Cora done?

"When I decide it's your turn," he answered, using a response he might have given to Baelfire when he was young just to see if it worked. She acted like a child, would she allow herself to be treated as such? It seemed so, as the response worked to silence her. That was worth noting. "How did you get from Oz to here?"

"The Wizard sent me. He showed me a vision of a woman leaving me in the woods, my real mother. He said her name was Cora and then I saw you teaching Regina and I saw how she was struggling, and I knew you had the wrong student! It's me you should be teaching! I have magic! And he said that here it's not considered evil. Here, magic is a gift, and you are a great Wizard! You could teach me! Because I'm Cora's daughter, don't you see just like Regina! And you…you knew my mother? You knew Cora? How? What was she like?"

He desperately wanted more details, had to have them, craved them really. But at the same time, the look in Zelena's eyes was unyielding. In her mind, she'd answered his questions, and now he would answer her own. It wouldn't be smart to push this too much. He might come off as too desperate for the information. He wasn't familiar with this…"Wizard" from Oz though he knew what he was going to be asking Jefferson the next time that boy came around. He wanted to know how she'd come into this world, but the truth was that if it had sent her from magical realm to magical realm without him detecting a spike in magic, it probably wasn't going to get him to The Realm Without Magic. And even then, with Zelena, it might not be necessary. The girl was powerful. Truly powerful. He could sense it just below her skin, growing more and more frantic just as she grew more and more frantic. Between that and the confirmation from the potion…this was Cora's daughter. Her firstborn as Cora would never have been able to conceal a pregnancy while she'd been in the castle, much less abandon the baby. But for a miller's daughter desperate to improve her station, a baby would have been considered a life sentence. With a child to care for, she never would have moved up in the world, never would have been anything more than a Miller's daughter. And as far as leaving her in the woods…Cora was just cold-hearted enough to do that if it meant her own happiness and dreams would survive. She'd proved that to him the night they'd intended to run away.

"I knew your mother," he confirmed, taking a step forward to walk with the girl a bit. If she didn't work off some of the energy she had, then it could be disastrous, especially because he wanted to see that energy transformed into magic. Just how powerful was she, he wondered. "I was the one who taught Cora magic. We spent much time together before she married her prince and gave birth to your sister, Regina."

"And…Cora never mentioned me?" she asked desperately, her hands wringing in front of her as they walked. The desperation he understood. The reasoning behind continuing to ask him the same question over and over again, only rubbing salt into her wounds, was the confusing part.

"A firstborn daughter? I think that's something I would remember." Though now that he thought about it…she had. They'd talked of her firstborn child often…he'd just always believed it was Regina. Suddenly things that hadn't occurred to him when he'd been seeing Cora were cast in a new light. When they'd been together, she'd been desperate to keep Zelena a secret, she'd have wanted Regina to be the firstborn, to be what he needed her to be. Once they were no longer together, she'd convinced him to change the deal and protected Regina, potentially knowing that she was not what he needed to cast the curse as she was not, in fact, her firstborn. Well…the future had won out again.

"Now, there's a spell, a curse I've been working on for a very long time. Now I foresaw that that curse can only be cast by Cora's daughter."

"That's why you've been training Regina. You thought she was going to cast the curse!" she worked out.

"Until today." The firstborn of Cora was here before him and her power...it was stunning, powerful. It was precisely what he needed. But only if she could control it and be taught. He'd been studying Regina her entire life. Zelena was a new card in the deck. He had no idea of how she'd grown up, no proof other than moving a rock that she could perform magic, he had no idea how she thought, her mannerisms, her motivations. That was all undetermined.

"Shall we see what you can do?"

She smiled. Her breath hitched with excitement as she offered a small nod, and he summoned a black blindfold from the walls of his castle. What he was about to do would be hard; there was no doubt about it. It was something that Regina would not be able to do yet. But the outcome would tell him everything he needed to know about Zelena and the magic that she had inside of her.

"Magic isn't about what you see, dearie, it's about what you feel inside," he said as he reached up to tie the clothe around her eyes, blinding her. "You'll have to dig deep if you wanna pass tonight's test."

"What am I meant to do?"

"Simple. Find me!" He used his magic to transport himself just behind her. "Over here, dearie!"

At the sound of his voice, she automatically turned toward him. He moved again, to lean against the tree that had once been in front of her.

"Close, but not close enough!" he called out, drawing her attention back to him. Magic had a way of sensing magic. It was one of his first lessons. It was the reason he could step into a room and identify objects that were magical against those that were fake. Regina would have this ability, someday, when she'd been working with magic long enough to get the taste, the smell of it. And of course, as the firstborn, he would be willing to work with Zelena now, but if what he'd seen and what he was feeling from her at this moment now was any indication, even without training she was years ahead of her sister. But still, he had to be sure.

"Magic comes from emotion. Simply think of a moment that makes you seethe with anger-"

"And use it to feel the magic. Yes, I've learned that a long time ago." Had she now? "It's hard to pick one. Finding out that my mother abandoned me. That my father never wanted me." She was growing agitated, near the verge of tears at her memories, but he noticed as he took a step in another direction, her body followed his motions. Coincidence?

"Getting warmer," he called before moving to a different spot.

"That my sister got everything I've ever desired. That she didn't even have to try hard. It was all just handed to her. And she doesn't even know what she had!" the girl screamed. He made a motion to move again, but before he could take even another step into his magic, he felt a tight grip close over his forearm, holding him in place.

"Ding Dong," he muttered in triumph and amazement.

She'd done it. And her rambling had let on to far more than he'd needed to know at this moment, but something that would be incredibly helpful as they moved forward. Her motivation. It was jealousy. If her hints were any indication, she'd known she had a sister for only a short time but growing up in poverty, being abandoned, and now seeing the life that might have been hers…that was what made her blood pump and the magic flow. And her magic, it was strong enough from escaping her vise.

Zelena pulled off her blindfold and raised his arm to see she had it.

"There it is. I can feel it in your nails."

"Sorry," she whimpered, finally releasing him. "I lost control."

Yes…and she was capable of so much more if she didn't calm it. Half of magic was knowing when to use it and when not to.

"And now, you need to think of a moment of happiness rein in some of that anger!" he proclaimed, stepping away again. Or not. Her panic had been enough a moment ago, but now, as she cast her eyes down to the ground as if searching for a coin she'd dropped, he could feel her magic swirling again. She was powerful, but easily worked up. It figured. With one sister he was struggling to uncap her potential, with this sister, he could sense that he was going to struggle with containing it.

"What do you think about?" she finally asked, moving eagerly toward him with a smile. He nearly laughed at her remark but managed to hold it in. Laughing would only goad her on, and there was something they needed to be clear about as they went onward from here.

"I'm the teacher. I ask the questions," he insisted as he moved away from her.

"But…if you don't tell me that how will I learn?" she shouted out at him.

A fair point. Even with Regina, he had been forced to reveal a little of himself. But he wasn't about to be honest with her, with someone he hardly trusted. The truth was that when he needed to reign himself in, he thought of Baelfire. He thought of the moment he held his son in his arms for the first time, or the moment he held him during the night and knew that he could raise him on his own. He thought of the moment Bae had called him "Papa" for the first time. And he thought of that look he'd given him whenever he'd promised Bae everything was going to be alright and his son had still trusted his words. But he wasn't about to tell any of that to Zelena, or even Regina. Cora had gotten too close as it was and look how she'd responded.

So instead, he shrugged in acceptance of Zelena's questioning and found another memory a memory that had significance but hadn't been thought of in years. It was a memory that would perhaps make a tether between himself and Zelena so that she might not only consider him teacher, but also similar to her.

"Well, like you, I was abandoned as a child. Some spinsters took us in. We didn't have much. But we got by. Whenever we finished a job, they used to bake meat pie. The entire hovel would fill with the most wonderful smell," he closed his eyes and could see it so clearly in his mind he thought he could smell it as well.

His aunts smiling and fussing over him as they waited for their supper to cool and fawned over his spinning abilities before calling him to the table and handing him his fork. "Go ahead, Rumple…you've earned it!" they would say before he dug in.

"And after they were cooled, they always let me take the first bite. And as the food warmed my body, that was the only time I forgot who I really was. A boy who wasn't wanted by his papa."

The memory faded as he opened his eyes and found himself smiling. He hadn't thought of those days in years, hadn't thought of how delicious those pies had been on how warm he'd felt when they baked it just for him. God…he did miss his aunts dreadfully sometimes.

"Mmm," he glanced over to find Zelena smiling at him, it was hard to miss with her standing right over his shoulder. She was so close it looked like at any moment she might attempt to reach out and touch him and it sent all manner of happy thoughts fleeing from his mind. He'd wanted her to have the sense that they were connected in a way, but now, he worried…perhaps he'd done too good a job.

"Then, I know my moment."

"What's that, dearie?" he questioned, moving out of her grasp to stand before her.

"The moment I stopped feeling like someone who wasn't wanted," she cried with a shake of her head. "The moment you agreed to train me."

He let loose a giggle as he saw something there in her eyes, a bit of something he'd only ever seen once before in a maid who had been more than a bit obsessed with him while Baelfire was around. He'd had to kill the girl before she'd done anything truly harmful, but…that same look was in Zelena's eyes now, tenfold. It was more than a bit crazy. It was madness.

"Train you indeed," he muttered, looking her over, recognizing a delicate situation when he saw one. "Lay low for now, Dearie, keep working on those happy memories…I'll find you when the time comes."