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arminsumi · 9 months

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Breakfast fluff

G. Satoru — さとる

NOTE : pls ignore errors i have neither slept nor proofread this 👍 i'm just craving breakfast so bad rn which is funny considering i hate cooking breakfast lol

SUMMARY — waking up to Gojo making breakfast and fussing over the kids on a typical Sunday

CONTENT — domestic fluff, just a wholesome morning with hubby Gojo

🍒 — J ⋅ reblogs and comments help a lot ! enjoy reading :)

It's a very early morning. The sunlight through the sheer curtains is soft. You take your time getting out of bed, soaking up the enjoyable softness of the blankets and pillows. Though you're quick to miss the warmth that you usually wake up to. Blinking awake and going into the bathroom, Satoru hears the soft thumping of your footsteps down the hallway and smiles to himself.

Satoru's not usually an early riser, in fact he usually stays in bed with you and locks an arm around your waist when you try to leave. But it's a Sunday morning, and Sunday mornings were special. Because it became a tradition to go down to the bustling market, clutching the week's savings in his hand, and buy thick bacon and eggs. The freshest kind.

You and Satoru were living in a bare bones apartment with sparse money, as two young "parents" with three tots under your wings. Somehow, you two made it work, even though there were struggles you smiled through them and never strayed from each other's sides. He'd often work the night shift, and come home at ungodly hours so tired that he melted into your body like a sick child, aching for your affectionate touch.

While you lazily carry out your morning routine in the other room, the kids crowd around Satoru as he stands in the kitchen — trying desperately to balance the chaos of entertaining Yuji, Nobara and Megumi while simultaneously cooking up breakfast.

And he cooks breakfast with such meticulousness. He considers it an art form. There's a remarkable swiftness in the way that he wields a kitchen knife to cut the bacon block into strips, and a talent in the way he cracks open eggs with one hand.

" Nobara, Yuji, what are you yelling about ? "

A little voice whined, " Nobara bit me ! "

" Nobara, don't bite Yuji. " Satoru lectured softly, eyes focused on the food cooking in the pan.

" I only did it because he tried to take your sweeties out of the pantry, dad ! " she reasoned.

" Don't eat my sweeties Yuji, you can have some later today — smell this ? Daddy's cooking up yummy breakfast so don't spoil your appetite, okay. You're gonna love it. "

The bacon and eggs crackle and pop in the oiled pan, sometimes so loudly that it makes Megumi jump in fright.

" Gumi, don't stand too close to the skillet. " Satoru warns, placing a hand on his head of messy bed hair and ruffling it, causing it to look even more unruly.

A steamy breakfast aroma wafts down the hallway and satisfyingly fills your lungs. You can hear the four of them chattering and Satoru's interspersed mini-lectures.

You look at them from the doorframe, Yuji and Nobara run out the other way into the interleading sitting room.

" Who's that peering 'round the corner ? " Satoru playfully teases, his voice bringing you warmth.

" Maaa. " Megumi groans and trots over to you, giving you as big of a hug as his little body could manage.

You comb your fingers through his hair, fixing up the mess that Satoru's previous ruffling caused — as usual.

And he flashes a look behind him at you, winking like a cheeky flirt. His smile is so big because of how purely happy the sight of you makes him; especially with that bleary-eyed morning face. You look so cozy, it makes his heart lurch to see you wearing his oversized t-shirt.

" Hey ! You didn't give me a morning hug ! " Satoru pouts and complains to his son.

Megumi groans. With a small encouragement from you, he quickly dives in for a rushed and almost shy hug. His arms wrap around Satoru's legs. And like the menace your husband is, he ruffles Megumi's hair to ruin again — making the boy groan annoyedly and break the hug.

" Ugh, daaad stop. Mom just fixed my hair. " Megumi grimaced, promptly running away when Satoru smiled down at him evilly — because that smile was the one he made before going in for tickles. And tickles from Satoru? They were devastating, truly.

So little footsteps thump out of the kitchen and the two loud voices that have been sounding from the sitting room become three loud voices. You notice how Megumi's accent takes after Satoru's rather than yours, and it warms your heart.

You approach the stressed, apron-clad chef and immediately he turns around to engulf you in an energetic kiss and embrace.

" You're burning the bacon, dad. " you giggle, face squishing into his torso.

" NOOO — shitshitshit. " he mutters under his breath, lips tingling from that tasty kiss he just snatched off your lips.

" Language, 'Toru. " you murmur at him, arms wrapping around his slim waist. You give him butterflies and then he loses all composure, causing a burnt disaster in the pan. The eggs are crusted brown, the bacon is glitterring as it sizzles a deep color.

Automatically, you go around the kitchen collecting and preparing plates and cutlery for the meal. The clang and clash of plastic reminds you that today is a big deal; you and Satoru were going to go out and use the rest of your weekly savings on new kitchenware.

Stopping for a moment to amire the attractive view of your husband's physique from behind, while he rather chaotically shovels the cooked contents of the pan out onto the serving plate that you slide next to him.

" Ah the bacon is saved. . . " he breathes in relief.

The sizzling food finds its home on plates. Satoru steals a quick kiss.

And then another. And another and another until the two of you zone out for a moment and feel like you're just two teenagers again, stealing lovey dovey kisses on your way to morning classes, of course his lips always caused you to be you late to everything back then.

But before you and Satoru can completely intertwine like lovers, there's the common interrruption of Yuji's wailing coming from the sitting room. You and your husband exchange those parental sighs and smiles, before you head into the other room to fix the little commotion. Poor Yuji complains to you through teary eyes that Nobara bit him "for being annoying" and Megumi is just wandering back into the kitchen to help his dad serve up breakfast without him even needing to be asked. He was just a sweet boy like that.

And it's a good meal. One that hits all the spots. You wish you could have more, even though Satoru did put from his plate onto yours throughout the meal. It's a caring habit of his that you never realize until after you've devoured everything. You pay him thanks with a tasty kiss, and he smiles into it like he always does.

Do not plagiarize / repost / translate / copy layouts / etc.

Do not steal what I've worked hard to create.

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soundslikediamonds · 1 year

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Rescuer (part 1)

Summary: (I'm not very good at summaries but!)

This whole concept came to me after watching Butler's interview with Josh Horowitz. Just seeing him in his hoodie and with his scruff just in that cold apartment over zoom made me think of this whole concept, yet it's super long, so I'm writing it in parts. I also got inspired seeing all those pictures with fans on the set of Bikeriders.

This is a fic where while walking alone at night, reader is being followed, but fortunately before anything can happen Austin saves reader.

Word Count: 4291

Disclaimer: This is my first time using Tumblr and first story posted here. I hope everyone enjoys!

Warnings: uncomfortable topic of being followed late at night, family dysfunction...

Hope you enjoy! (y'all I am SO nervous to put this out there lol)

_________

You close the front door and seal it with the lock. It's pitch black outside, a swollen full moon out with distant clouds. The air you breathe is cold and fans out little fog clouds each time an exhale escapes your mouth. It's no later than 12:00 am and you just finished all that you were taking for the night.

You would be back in a few days, when you were sure your Dad would be out. He was away this night, working a long night shift and you knew that. That was the reason why you managed to sneak back into the house and take some more of your belongings without your dad knowing you were here. It was clear he didn't want you back, not after that explosive argument last week that the two of you had which left him kicking you out.

You had no problem with leaving. Actually, it was something that tempted your mind for quite some time now. Somewhere between dad's anger, and the two of you fighting all the time, it was so exhausting. He made you get out of the house and made it very clear that he didn't want to see you again. You grabbed some extra clothing and toiletries for the night and your backpack before you called your friend Ava asking if you could sleep over. She was obviously awake and wasn't one who would take much to persuade.

You didn't go into detail of why you needed to be over there. It was late and the last thing you wanted to do was tell her that you, a college student, was officially homeless, having no real thought-out plan of what you would do. You just kept it simple; you were at the campus library studying into the night and by the time you headed back, you realized you forgot your keys and no one was in the house.

'just need somewhere to sleep for the night and then i'll be out tomorrow morning. kinda crazy how this is my life rn ahahaha'

You had texted Ava those words, to which responded in laughing crying emojis.

'dww!! it's life. it happens. i'll make sure to give you some of my clothes'

Shoot. The clothes. Although you did have a set of pajamas for the night, it would probably make more sense that you would burrow Ava's clothes. After all, you were locked out of your house. Where would those clothes come from if otherwise?

You placed everything you gathered in your backpack and took the bus to get to the other side of town. On the bus there was practically no one and as you had the back seats to yourself, you took this time to really think about what this meant for you.

You didn't have a home. You had class in the morning, and then two more in the afternoon, but you didn't have a home.

If you wanted help (which you probably should have asked for), that would require you telling the whole story of what happened, which was something you didn't want to go through.

If you took time to really think about it, you would probably cry. It was a surprise that you haven't done it yet, but it was probably because you haven't had the time, in retrospect. It was only the sound of your dad's tone that rung your ears, telling you to "leave and never come back" that made you scurry to your room, take what you needed to take and leave without saying another word, or giving eye contact to your parents. Your body moved quickly than what your mind could even process and now that you were sitting still since this pressing hour of chaos, you allowed your eyes to close, resting your hand on the top of your head as a small sigh escapes your breath.

What would you do now?

You stayed in that position for only a little while before deciding on opening your phone and choosing to listen to the song you thought would suit the moment best. As you looked out with window, you allowed for the duration of the melody to give you a sort of comfort and you told yourself deep down inside that everything was going to be okay. You were going to be okay.

That was last week.

Now, as you start down the stairs throwing one more glance over your shoulder at your old house, you tread down the street. For these past few days you've just been keeping yourself in an small Inn. It's been okay, mostly you were out for the day and so the Inn only did its thing and helped you out at night with a bed to lay down on and rest. But tonight was your last night and you had no idea what you were going to do afterward.

You were sort of on this plan of just going to a 24/hour coffee shop and stay there "studying" for the night. You've looked it up and there are a couple of places in the area. So, you considered that at least for the night you'd stay at the coffee shop to think things through.

You aren't alone as you walk. You glance down at your phone and notice that you have 15 more minutes before you'd reach the bus stop. The sounds of footsteps are distant behind you and, just because, you look over your shoulder just a little bit, but a chill runs through your arms when seeing that it's a man wearing all black with a hood over his head. He looks right out you and you whip your head forward, feeling your chest heave in a mini-gasp.

Now, you tell yourself, there's no need to overreact.

That would usually help you, but it is late and dark, and no one else is out. Plus, he's walking pretty slow, and has no problem with walking and staying behind you. Curiosity now takes over you as you decide to lessen the pace of your walk just a tad, and suddenly you hear his footsteps slow its pace as well.

Frowning, you now pick up the pace, to which this man does the same. Your heart starts beating fast and you check your surroundings, realizing the neighborhood you're in is dark and the lights to the houses by the streets are all out, indicating that everyone is either asleep or away.

You take a breath and decide to cross the street, just going at it because there aren't any on-going cars, but once you reach the sidewalk, you look down at the silhouette that's casted from the orange streetlight and see a distant but present shadow still trailing behind you.

You are officially. Being. Followed.

You've heard of stuff happening like this, and it's absolutely horrible. No one should be able to feel their own life being threatened just by walking down the streets at night. You just never thought of it happening to you, yet right now, your chest rises and falls as your hands collect sweat.

You have to stay calm.

If you start running, chances are he'll take off after you. You need to lead him someplace where there's people, yet you don't know this area half as well, and it's hard to make up places in the dark.

Silently praying that nothing happens, you take a risk a turn a sharp corner to another block which at this intersection you would normally continue to walk straight, but your legs aren't in control of what's going on and move out of fear and in search for desperate help.

Your eyes luckily find a light and you realize that you're coming to a gas station. The lights are open, so you knew that there has to at least be someone in the corner store. If you just casually walk in, the man following you would have to leave.

You start to hear footsteps from behind you pick up and your heart starts pounding within your chest. For some strange reason, although you are ridiculously scared, you aren't running. You aren't screaming for help. You're managing to speed walk with your head held high although trying to focus on your breathing and steady yourself. It's crazy how you're not looking back, but only walking faster, keeping your eyes straight on the blaring lights.

The Gas Station is right across the street from you and- without even clicking any buttons at the intersection which you should- you walk down the street and go up the small hill, and as your eyes avert to the station, you notice a tall man in a Carhartt jacket over black jeans, walking out of the corner store. He's looking down at the receipt in his hands as he walks to the pump. You're relieved to see someone at least, and you know that you're just seconds away from safety. However, as you're walking, you're scared when you see now in the corner of your eye, the man who is following you, starts jogging in your direction.

Without thinking you start making a light jog, no longer to the corner store, but to the man who's right in front of you, who has no idea of what small chase scene is in front of him as he looks at his receipt. By the sound of nearing footsteps, the man in front of you looks up just in time for you to greet him loudly before wrapping your arms around his neck, holding on to his tall frame. The man stumbles backward, but you turn your head to whisper in his ear.

"The man behind me is following me, please help me," You whisper, and that's all it takes before you feel strong arms wrapped around your waist.

"Hey, babe, sorry, I was just about to text you. Didn't mean to make you walk over to me." He says, the low tone of his voice vibrates your forehead as your head rests against his chest.

You're squeezing him now, thankful that the security in his voice and the tightness in his hold makes you feel safe right here in the Gas Station parking lot, right where some creep has followed you to. You don't even know if he's still there, or walking closer, and you don't want to know. You're not lifting your head up from being buried in this man's chest.

"Hey, the funniest thing happened at work today, but I'll tell you all about it once we go home. And you get to pick the movie tonight, but I gotta tell ya, if it's those cartoons again, I might just cry." The man says, a small chuckle coming out. A breath escapes your lips, almost like relief in itself. You'd smile if you could, if you weren't so scared.

Now, as you're still in the hug, you can't really hear anything. It's quiet and you're not sure what's happening in the world where your face is not against the fabric of a fall jacket, where you're not heavily breathing with tears stinging your eyes. You'd like to hear what's going on, or maybe you don't, but you can't, because all you hear is the sound of your heart pounding through your ears.

Finally after what seems like the longest seconds of your life, you feel the pad of a thumb stroke slowly through your hair just barely, just enough that you can tell it's within intent. To soothe you. You begin to match your breathing, your chest rising and falling, to the thumb strokes against your hair. You suddenly feel a lift of the hand and arms start to loosen just by a little bit.

"He's gone." You hear this man whisper in your ear.

Those words suddenly break you and now all of the emotion from the following to the chase catch up to you as hot tears slide down your cheek.

The man in your arms now holds you tightly once more and starts swaying you in his embrace.

"I am so sorry. I truly am, I...I'm so sorry." He says, with a deep and genuine ache in his voice. You nod, even though he did nothing but save you from what could've been, and just the thoughts of how the night could've turned out entirely worse, sobs now bubble and pour out as you begin crying on his chest.

"Do you wanna sit in my car?" His voice asks, and you hear the decibel of his voice raise just a little bit higher as it coats with soft and gentleness. You realize he's asking you that way because he wants you to decide. He wants to make it clear that whatever it is, he's not the one telling you to do anything. Not after this horrible experience.

"Okay." You choke out, nodding once again, before you slowly pull yourself away from where you nestle in his chest. You blink back to reality and look around you, seeing that the creep indeed is gone and you're standing outside in the parking lot of the Gas Station, while this tall man, who looks just a few years older than you, stares at you with kindness and grace. This is the first time you actually look into the eyes of your angel of the night. He has golden hair, a hint of scruff on his chin and around his pink full lips, with piercing baby blue eyes that sparkle even in dim light.

You try to smile, though you're wiping your eyes at the same time, and you can't help but feel like you look rather like a mess.

"Thank you so much." You say above a whisper.

The man doesn't comment on what he did, instead takes your arm gently and leads you to his car, a black vehicle near the last pump nearest to the car wash. While one hand still rests on your arm, you watch as this man digs up his car keys from his jacket pocket and unlocks the doors. He opens the passenger seat for you, to which you whisper thanks before he closes the door and walks around his car, leaving you only a few seconds to truly absorb everything that just happened in what seems to be in slow motion and in a flash at the same time.

You sit in silence for a moment, leaning backward in your seat as you try to look back and see if the creepy man would just pop out from nowhere. You're subconsciously doing it. You don't even realize that's what you're doing, looking at the back window until his hand is planted on your arm, bringing you back into reality. You turn immediately, looking at your rescurer.

"You're safe here." He says.

You nod. You believe him, but you don't even realize your hands are shaking until he looks at them, and you notice his jaw clench. You hug yourself, trying to remove the attention from your shaking hands and you feel his hand touch your shoulder. You try another smile as you turn to look at him.

"Thank you. I don't know what more to say but... thank you so much." You say, feeling like there are not enough words to express the true gratitude your heart.

He nods before he looks down in his lap, letting out a big sigh. You shake your head in response, now using your hands to massage your forehead in small circles. The two of you are silent in the car, but the both of you are thinking of everything that went down.

"My mind wants to think about how...he could've done anything to me. I've just been saved, and that's what I'm shook up about- the fact that it could have happened." You say, wondering what's even wrong with you.

Sure, you almost had something terrible happen to you. But someone came to your rescue just before it did. And instead of focusing on that and being grateful, you're still thinking of what it was that could've happened. Is that normal?

"I would be more concerned if you weren't thinking about the "what ifs". That's completely and totally valid." The man sitting beside you says. He then takes another breath.

"But I'm so glad nothing happened. And I'm proud of you for doing what you did. You know, you saw someone and immediately went to them when you felt in danger." He expresses.

You're sort of blocking that amount of praise that's trying to enter in, just because you don't believe you did anything out of braveness but out of fear. You were trembling in this man's arms, for crying out loud. He could have someone, or maybe he didn't want to get involved, or anything of that matter. But, you were grateful nonetheless.

"Thank you for going along." You say in a small voice. And he really was amazing. There was something about what he said, there was no hint of never knowing you before this. It was like you both were together. It was like you were truly going home with him. It was like you were going to pick the movie. With no hesitance he was able to get into this character and save you just by how he held you.

He shakes his head now, folding his arms as he looks ahead. "I was, uh...I was supposed to go to the other gas station, a few miles away from this one. There was too much traffic, and I decided to go here, even though I was complaining because the prices here are more expensive. But I realize that there was a reason why I was here."

He turns and looks at you, an actual scared look on his face. "If we were just seconds from each other, who knows what could've happened?"

You close your eyes. Your mind is going there, but you don't want it to. You don't want to go there. Based on the fact that you're not answering, the man breaths out a sigh.

"What happens now? Is there somewhere I can take you? Are you going home?" He then asks.

Your eyes then flicker open. How are you going to explain this?

Somehow in the midst of everything going on, you haven't thought of the fact that there was no place to stay. That your friends' places couldn't be used, or that your time at the local Inn was up. You couldn't think of anything when that creep was after you, but now that it's all over, you have to face the reality of the scary revelation.

"I, uh..." Your eyes flicker down, and you look at your shoelaces. You then look over at him. You're about to tell him, but your throat gets caught and you bring a hand to your head and close your eyes, slowly rubbing your forehead in small circles.

"You can just take me to the coffee shop. The one on Berden." You reply, your voice small.

He blinks at you, before giving a little nod, and you watch as his fingers mindlessly strokes the bit of scruff his has on his chin.

"Oh. Sure, yeah, we can stop for coffee if that's what you'd like. And then after that where will I take you?" He asks.

"Well..." You let out a breath. "I'm going to be staying there. I have, um...I have a lot of studying I need to do. That's where I was going, anyway. To the café...before...y'know, everything happened. Before I met you. I was on my way to the coffee shop." You ramble on.

You mentally kick yourself. Why do you have to sound so awkward when you're lying? I mean, sure you actually do need to study, but you're not really planning on it.

The man's eyebrows furrow as he turns and looks at you. You can tell just by the look in his eye that he's confused, and that he doesn't believe you.

"You can't study now. Not after everything. You need to rest somewhere." He argues.

You shrug, not meeting his eyes. "I'll be okay."

"I won't be able to sleep knowing that I had a chance of taking you home and refusing it. It's no problem driving you, really. Even if you live an hour away." The man says.

"It's okay, really." You try and persuade.

"It's just..." You watch as the man sighs, drawing his fingers to the scruff of his chin. He scoffs. "I don't know, it's so dangerous here."

He looks over at you in seriousness. "Is there no where I can drop you off?"

You nod. "Yes, the café on Ber-"

"No, no." You watch as the man shakes his head. He lets out a sigh and closes his eyes. When he finally looks at you, you swallow the guilt of not being able to tell him the whole truth. In this stranger's eyes there's a look of wanting to keep you secure.

"I have this feeling...you don't want to be home right now." He guesses, his voice a whisper.

That causes you to look down at your shoes. You feel his eyes on you and you know you're done. With that instant motion of not being able to look him in the eye, you're sure he can tell that his assumption is right.

When you finally look at him, you shoot a small smile. "You know...I can take the bus or something. You've done so much for me already, and I thank you. But, you probably have family waiting for you at home, or someplace to be." You say.

There's a silence as the man leans back, his back touching the seat. He slowly smiles, looking down at his hands.

"I uh...I live by myself in a lowly apartment, so...it really is no problem to-"

Suddenly, the man stops talking and then turns to look at you. He looks at you with a puzzled look on his face and you're wondering just what it is that he's thinking.

"I could propose something, but it might be strange." He starts, his fingers going back to resting on his chin.

He tends to do that a lot more than he's conscious of, you think to yourself.

You look at the hesitance on his face and blink. "What is it?"

"Well," He sits up straighter in his seat. "What if you just crashed at my place for the night?" He asks.

You blink. "What?"

He shoots a gentle smile. "Yeah, I mean...it's late, and it's obvious you don't want to go home. My apartment's close, and..." He holds you arm gently.

"I'd be completely out of your hair, there's a room that's completely secluded, you wouldn't see me at all, and there's office space if you dare wish to study...even though, I personally feel like with everything that's happened, going to sleep would be the best option, um...but I...I could make you some tea, uh...and I have these scented candles that I find always helps me, just feel better after a long tiring day...of course, I've never been through what you've just gone through, I mean that's absolutely terrifying, but-"

You then touch his arm. The poor man is rambling without even taking a breath. And he looks so apologetic, almost like it was his fault.

"What's your name?" You ask, changing the subject completely.

It takes him aback, for sure, and you find yourself start to smile. He blinks, chucking a little bit.

"I guess we haven't really formally introduced each other. I'm Austin." He says, extending his hand out.

You look at his eyes. Austin. It wouldn't be the first name you would guess, it's sort of unexpected, but looking at his face, you don't know if there's any other name you would give. It's charming, which is one of the words you would use to describe him.

You smile, reaching over and shaking Austin's hand as you say your own name. He gives a friendly smile laughs.

"Nice to meet you." He says shyly, which causes you both to laugh awkwardly.

"Nice to meet you, Austin." You smile. Then Austin looks at you with a serious look.

"Hey, um...I really am offering for you to stay at my apartment. Just for the night if that's easiest, and then," He shrugs. "And then, whatever you want to happen next, I'll allow." He says.

You nod. You know his intentions are good. You know, and it doesn't take much to know- that he is a good man. You almost experienced what wasn't a good man, and it scared you. It scares you to think that somewhere that man, and other people like him are out and about, roaming innocent streets to do sinful deeds for humans that don't deserve anything like that.

A chill runs down your spine as you think back to what could've been. Right now, however, there is nowhere else you can go. You'll admit you're in a very vulnerable state. You're mind isn't the best that it can be. You're still shook up. You're scared, and you know deep down that if you are anywhere away from Austin this time of night, you'd be even more afraid.

So with that, you look at Austin, who's been looking at you this whole time. You take a deep breath and then nod.

"Okay. I can go to your place for tonight. Thank you." You say in a small voice.

Austin nods, giving your arm another reassuring touch before he starts the car. And without another word he's set and soon you both are off, driving into the empty streets of night.

#austin butler x you #austin butler fanfic #austin butler x reader #austin butler imagine #austin butler #austin butler x y/n

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terribles-world · 1 year

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The clash: 02

Main protagonist: jjk x reader! best friends au.

Genre: angst, slow burn

Warnings: self doubting, self realisation.

Summary: All the events in your life now make you feel you aren't good enough for someone to be with you. Taehyung being an angel here. ♡

Word count: 1.5k

an: I couldn't wait for you PPL to read it's second part. I'm too happy guys. Hope you like it. Enjoy!

It's been a week since you broke your friendship with kook. Sorry my bad. Jungkook! Calling him by 'kook' felt so warm like a feeling being in a real home. Now it feels nothing but a guilt of how vulnerable you became to someone. So fragile that just a person can shatter you like broken pieces of glass. So weak that you couldn't even handle your emotions that led you to the moment having a mental breakdown in the bathroom tub just after coming back from your formal best friends house.

Why me? It's been a week since you've been ignoring your part-time job at a coffee shop. Hiding in your apartment to get an escape from this cruel world that keeps hurting you. Maybe you're the problem that keeps getting hurt. Is it too hard for someone to like you just the way you are. Aren't you good enough for someone?

Passing a week having existential crisis makes you fall apart from the woman you used to be. Being in your twenties you need to have a stable job, be responsible, brave to do the right thing. But you? Is that what you're or the opposite. You hate the feeling how helpless you feel rn. Someone who took you for granted not even bothers about your feelings broke you almost 7 years of friendship with him. Miserable isn't?

Finally the day has come when your leaving holidays come to an end. You need to be in the coffee shop in like 6 hours later. But what are you doing in the middle of the night at 3 a.m? Didn't get sleep or sleep is nowhere to be found in your mind full flooded with thoughts.

Looking at your face while doing skincare makes you wanna puke now. What have you become ___? Getting ready for your shift you walk out of your small and cozy apartment. Not so small but enough for a living. Locking up your apartment someone bumped into your shoulder. "I'm really sorry" she replied. "It's fine."you said looking straight but to your surprise she was Hyuna, your highschool friend. "Hyuna! What you doing here"you feel lightened. "___? Is that you? Fuck you grown up so much. Like a role model." She exclaimed. You laughed followed by her. "But what you doing at 8 in the morning?"you asked. "I just shifted here."she smiled. "We are in the same floor now? Fuck I'm so excited" you can't control your happiness and hugged her. " Are you free now" she asked looking at you. "Just going for work. Will come back sharp 6 in the evening. Would you like to grab something after that if yo-?" she cut me in the middle. "Yes! I would love to." You smiled. " Okay then see you later." Then you are off. A little socialing with people makes you feel lighter than the feeling you have been feeling a lot in the whole week.

Park Hyuna, your high school friend who was a bit closer to you after jungkook. She would always sit with you in the class for the whole 2 freaking years. Until you got to know she has a crush on jungkook. Like who doesn't have? He is indeed handsome and charming for anyone to drool over him. But you became a bit protective for your best friend. She would always try to make a convo when you and jungkook would be alone. Initially you felt a bit awkward but eventually you got comfortable for you 3 to hang out all together. It felt surreal. But until one day you saw her and jungkook kissing under a tree while the weather was cloudy and almost about to rain. You don't know but that felt so heartbroken. Tears started rolling from your cheeks. Why she can't be fucking you? Why can't he love you? Aren't you enough for someone?

You left the place in a hurry just not to get caught by someone for looking at your two friends kissing. Hurriedly going to your house not even caring an ounce when your mother started ranting about how irresponsible you are for getting wet in the rain. But you couldn't care less how frustrated you feel. It meant to happen someday you knew it. It fucking hurts. Since then you started hanging out with them less than you used to. Ignoring jungkook when he would ask you to Hangout or sit with Hyuna. It changed so fast. Until one day she broke up with her the day after graduation so suddenly and then she disappeared. You felt bad as well as relieved. Bad cause she has been a good friend. Relieved because now you got your best friend I guess. But that didn't last long when he started hooking up randomly, started drinking all of a sudden and then after the terrible incident happened. 'You don't need to remember that', you remind yourself.

Reaching your destination: Kim's Cafe. You let a relieved sigh. Opening the door just to face the mocking by the shop owner Kim Seokjin. "Woah! Look who decided to show up today. Finally what have I done to get this honour of your presence in my tiny little shop, Miss ___." rolling your eyes. "You are annoying ". Deciding to ignore it and went to your changing room to wear your apron. Coming back to your place you were greeted by taehyung. "Are you okay?" he asked the first when he looked at you. Couldn't be able to make eye contact with him just nodding at his words. Too afraid he would see your dark circles under your eyes for not being able to sleep peacefully at night or see how empty you are from inside. "Okay. But if you need anything that includes you like to talk to someone I'm all ears." You still nodded your head. Just realising you got other friends too other than jungkook being in your life. More like an actual friend. A real friend.

Kim taehyung, two years older than you that'd something he is always proud of. The younger brother of the shop owner Kim Seokjin but everybody calls him Jin. Not only Jin but WWH or world wide handsome. I would definitely call him that cause he is beautiful, exceptionally magnificent features. That's why this shop is crowded almost everyday. On the other hand his brother has never been too self obsessed but a little shy around everyone. Sometimes it makes you think that he is actually hitting on you or maybe it's your assumptions. Once you saved him from a terrible woman who was touching him badly calling out for him to serve her coffee. When you noticed this immediately replaced him going to her actually teaching some manners in her head not to ogle at younger men double her age. Eventually Jin got to know about it and banned her from the shop. Taehyung didn't say anything just hugged you. Patting his back and he put his head in the crook of your neck making you feel tickled that was less concerns you than the person lying on your shoulder cause he indeed needed one. Since then you two became good friends. He knows you are being friends with jungkook. He even hung out with two of you.

Going through your social media account during your break slightly sitting at the edge of the table you let out a sigh thinking what he must be doing, zoning out scrolling your Instagram not knowing what your phone is showing up to you. Taehyung never saw you like this. Weak by health, lost the shine of your eyes, pale face, not even cared to eat healthy. He walked to you. Sitting beside you he looked at your phone. "Eww! You naughty little tiger". Coming out to reality realising what he just said then noticing your phone which is actually a couples page where a man showing up his hickey. Gasping you immediately lock your phone. "It's rude to look at someone's phone you know." you stand straight turning your face starting to walk out off there when he held your hand pulling you to him, making you land off his chest. "Hey! It's okay. I'm here. Everything's gonna be okay." That's it. That's what you needed at the very moment. You held him by his shoulder pulled closer hugging him right tightly. He didn't ask anything letting you hug him. Patting your back he let you rest your head in his shoulder for a few good minutes. Until you heard Jin murmuring some weird lyrics and shouting "Bro! The hell. You and ____. What you two doing in the kitchen. And what's with all the lovely dovey. Ohh my eyes where is my eye drop. I can't see this." Hearing his over acting you two separate each other and tae defended you both. "It's nothing okay." Of course it's nothing. But is it?

Hope you guys enjoyed reading it. Do let me know your perspective on reading it and what you PPL think of this ongoing storyline. Hope you liked it. :)

Happy reading!

#jk x reader #bangtan #jeon jungkoooook #jungkook #jjk fanfic #jk x y/n #₹jk x reader #jk bts #jkppost #jk #taetae #taehyun x reader #taehyun fluff #jinx #rm bts #k-pop #bts imagines #bts ffs #bts ff

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kaderp · 3 years

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ALRIGHT FUCKERS THIS IS GONNA BE A HELLA LONG MEGAPOST AS I WAS GIVEN THE OK

BASICALLY this is gonna be a collection of bullshit me and @blackfliesinbluesugar have come up with and drawn

It starts with Goldie still living in Ireland at 17-19 and Scrooge from ages 18-20 staying in Scotland. And long story short they're dumbasses as teens. Cliche forbidden romance type stuff. Goldie's dad has shot people in the foot for trying to mess around with Goldie or just even talk to her for too long. So the only logical explanation they have is make Scrooge hide in the barn when he visits.

Basically Scrooge chills in the barn for a while cause Goldie's the only one that ever really goes in there because she's in charge of all the chores there. Which is where the context of this post is from

After the first time they fooled around Goldie was like 'oh crap what if I got pregnant D:' and told her mom she's going through a phase of flowey/big dresses when in reality she's trying to hide a potential baby bump. Now her mom doesn't care because she's too caught up in the fact that Goldie is finally 'acting like a lady.'

So eventually because they never put together that 'hey, if we keeping doing this we're gonna end up with a baby', Goldie does end up pregnant. And because her dad is a dick and a 'I catch you with my daughter then you die' type of shotgun dad, Goldie is freaking tf out.

About a month after she finds out she's pregnant, the O'Gilt's (well mostly just Goldie and her mom lol) get invited to a fancy dinner and Scrooge is really wanting to see Goldie again. So what better way to see her than to travel to Ireland, steal a uniform, and sneak into said dinner party as a busboy. Problem is he can't risk Goldie's dad seeing him again so he tries to slick back his whiskers

But while Scrooge is running around, he eventually spots Goldie across the room. Now he's never seen her in anything fancy, usually just the flannel and green work skirt. And he just about dies 😭

By now she has a bit of a baby bump she's had to hide so she normally goes for high waisted dresses that immediately flow out.

Anyways, as Scrooge is putting on the uniform he realizes he has absolutely no idea how to actually be a busboy. He doesn't know the first thing about dining and stuff so he's just like AAAAAAA

As they both see each other, Scrooge gives a dorky grin and Goldie smiles before realizing he snuck in. Right when Scrooge goes to see her he gets dumped with a bunch of dishes he has to set. Goldie sees him struggling to figure out how to set a table and he just gives her a nervous grin while she's like 'oh you beautiful dumbass -_-'

She's turning red cause she's trying so hard not to burst out in laughter as Scrooge slips and a bunch of silverware falls on him

He's getting yelled at by the director but he's just giving Goldie a goofy grin from across the room.

Her parents: remember to be calm and not make a scene no matter wh-

Goldie watching Scrooge trip on the tablecloth: BWAHAHA

But as the dinner progresses, Goldie remembers Scrooge doesn't even know she's pregnant. So she keeps trying to tell him but they both constantly get pulled away to do other things.

Towards the end of dinner Scrooge gets a free moment and realizes then that 'holy shit I actually like really love her!' So he darts to wherever she is and is struggling to get it out cause he doesn't know how much time he has left. He eventually spits it out and tells Goldie he loves her and is immediately called away. Scrooge takes her hands and quickly kisses her cheek before running to wherever the director is calling him from.

Goldie is shocked and stays still for a moment but by the time the shock wears off she realizes Scrooge is already long gone and they don't see each other again. And now Goldie's like 'crap crap crap, he said he loves me and I didn't even tell him I'm pregnant.'

They aren't able to communicate for a while cause Goldie's so focused on trying to keep her family pleased while still hiding her baby bump, and Scrooge keeps getting sidetracked and forgetting to write. (You can't tell me that isn't something he'd do because he kept getting distracted in the life and times when coming back home). He has her address, and he has started a letter, and even his family knows about her. 3ish months pass of no communications until one night Goldie starts contractions.

She darts to the barn after the first contraction and realizes she has to do this alone. A letter takes a day to get to Scrooge and going to Scotland herself would take closer to 7 hours. At that point it would be safer to not move.

It's like 3am by the time she lays and the egg ends up being pretty small. The entire time Goldie was just getting sicker and sicker. She ends up too weak to even hide the egg and has a high fever. She seriously thinks she's not gonna make it for the first night she can barely stay conscious.

The next morning she has just enough strength to lazily hide the egg in the hay and sluggishly make her way back to the main house. Her parents are already up and she explains she started feeling iffy while doing chores and collapses.

Because her parents aren't completely heartless and she still is their daughter, her parents' main focus shifts to trying to nurse her back to health. They assume she fell with a bad flu and don't know she had spent all night laying an egg.

During this time she writes to Scrooge telling him to get over here asap, it's an emergency.

Goldie's parents take over her chores in the barn and the moment they said that Goldie went into panic mode again. During a lunch break she climbs through her window and runs to the barn to hide the egg better. She does, and she successfully makes it back to her room but collapses again and sleeps until the next day.

Scrooge arrives 3 days after she lays and now she's really panicking. She's still weak and sick, and her parents are coming closer and closer to finding the egg. Scrooge when he sees her is genuinely freaking out. Not only for the future and that he now has an egg, but because Goldie did it by herself in a dirty barn. She's still a little loopy even though it's been a few days and Scrooge just feels heart broken that he wasn't there to help. He starts going on a tangent about how she could have died but Goldie just kisses him to get him to stop blabbering.

Scrooge helps her clean up a bit cause even with her parents looking after her, she's still a mess. But as he's washing her and the egg up, they hear fighting from the main house. Her parents realized she wasn't in her bed. She starts crying and tells Scrooge he needs to run home asap because if her dad finds out he'll most definitely kill him and/or the baby.

(This was the first doodle for the au before deciding on an exact age/place/look so don't mind the sloppiness)

Scrooge escapes right as her dad comes in. She pulls the excuse of she thought she felt well enough to do chores.

Scrooge rn is running like a madman back to Scotland. He went from chilling with his family to being a father who's child needs to be kept secret within a day.

By the time Scrooge gets back home it's the middle of the night and is ngl feeling pretty overwhelmed. He tells Downy that he messed up and she's just like ??? So Scrooge holds up the egg and Downy just purses her lips like 'ah'

The next morning Scrooge explains to his family what happened and doesn't leave out any detail. Fergus and Downy obviously have mixed feelings. Scrooge is barely 19 yet he already has a kid??? But in the end they realize they can't change what's happened and focus on helping Scrooge protect this child.

Once the baby hatched, all mixed feelings from Downy erased and she just went into 'this is my grandbaby and no one will touch her' mood.

Scrooge and Goldie kept in contact from the moment Goldie gave away the egg. Because of the little incident of Goldie 'trying to do chores while sick,' she was put under close monitoring for the next few months and couldn't visit each other. After constant writing back and forth, they find a date to meet up half way between Scotland and Ireland so Goldie can meet her baby. They try to decide on baby names through the letter but they can't agree on anything. Goldie finds out that Scrooge moved out of his small Glasgow home and into McDuck Castle. He gives her the new location on the map as well.

The first time Scrooge tries to sneak out with the baby Fergus is just standing right outside with his brow arched and Scrooge starts freaking out.

Before Scrooge can apologize for trying to sneak out, Fergus just asks if Scrooge would like him to go with.

Scrooge is a little shocked but can't talk with the frog in his throat and just nods. Along the way Scrooge explains how he and Goldie have been trying to find the right time to sneak out for weeks because it was so hard for Goldie to get free time. She was sent to go across country to get supplies and uses that opportunity to go meet up with Scrooge and the baby again.

Fergus just nods and continues.

When they do see Goldie, she almost breaks down at the sight that the baby survived and is being raised in a good house hold and can't stop holding her. The baby is about 3 months old by now. They finally agreed on a name and she ended up being named Maryanne. (Yes Jelly and I chose that because it means Star of the Sea)

She has to give the baby back to Scrooge cause stupid teenage and still getting over pregnancy hormones are getting the better of her and she starts full on sobbing as she sits on the ground. Scrooge freezes cause he's like aaaaaa what do I dooooo while still holding the baby.

But Fergus crouches down to her and asks if she wants a hug. All Goldie can say is 'uh huh' and he just wraps himself around her. She hugs back and Fergus rocks back and forth until Goldie's calmed down.

'I'm sorry I pulled your son into the mess. I-I was just so scared that my papa w-would kill one of us that I didn't know what else to do.'

Fergus pulls her away so he can actually look at her. And part of him feels that tinge of fear and sadness that the two teens had experienced. He grabs onto her shoulders which causes Goldie to look up at him.

'While I dinnae agree what you two did was right. Ah'm proud of you. Because what you did, finding the will to give up a child for their own safety, took a lotta strength there, lass.' And before she can react, Fergus pulls her in again and let's it sink in.

Scrooge is still holding the baby but now he's sitting down and bouncing the cooing baby on his knee while watching the scene unfold.

Over the course of the next few months, Goldie visits as much as possible and she grows closer to the family and Scrooge every time. On the times she can't visit, Fergus accompanies Scrooge in order to protect them from Goldie's dad. She's had a few close calls with her dad, but nothing too serious

After those events, Goldie practically moves in with the McDucks and they work on raising Maryanne. However like in the Rosa series, they're still experiencing tax trouble and Scrooge says he's gonna have to go to South Africa. The baby is about 2 by now and Scrooge is almost 21, while Goldie is about 19 and a half.

(This next section was an accident but basically it started as jotting down ideas but turned into a fic after I said it would take 20 seconds to write but turned into 2 hours fjdbfndn)

Scrooge is torn between whether or not to go until Goldie says she'll go with him. And because she's stubborn, no one objects. So the three travel across the world together. Maryanne practically grows up on the sea and all of those adventures where Goldie is present in the DT17 Rewriting History book happen.

On adventures they trade off tying the baby to their backs until she's old enough to not need to anymore. Although for the more dangerous ones, one of them stays behind.

But because they weren't married and had a kid in their teens, they were generally looked down upon. It got to the point where they just started saying they were married in order to avoid conflict with others. And after a while they actually forgot they weren't in fact married

'Huh, I forgot we're not actually married.' 'WAIT WE'RE NOT???'

'We're married' 'Oh ok, can i see your marriage records?' '... oh right'

But some old lady or old guy either way starts criticizing Goldie for being a young mother and they just deck the shit outta them and run. Or Goldie fighting someone with baby tied to her back.

Maryanne grows up to be an ocean cartographer and leads sailing expeditions and that's all we have for her. Also she has super blue eyes lol

That's basically almost all of the things we have for this au lol

#ducktales #ducktales 2017 #disney #duck tales #don rosa #scrooge mcduck #goldie o'gilt #au #glittering goldie #scroldie #teen scroldie au #long post #really long post #megapost

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charminglyantiquated · 4 years

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Heyyy, I'm recently obsessing over tallships and was wondering what kind of jobs most people actually do on board? Does everyone do a bit of everything or are some people dedicated to maintenance and others to helping sailing and etc? How much time do you spend working a day and does everyone work all at once or is there a night shift? Sorry for the volume of the question but I'm really interested in this rn

Hi! This got pretty long, so it’s under a cut!

Generally everyone does pre- and post-season maintenance: sanding, painting, varnishing, oiling, cleaning, and all the other work that goes into keeping the ship looking nice, plus any other projects that need working on. Once the sailing season proper begins, the crew has more specific roles, which can vary by ship. In short yes - there are some positions that mostly deal with actually sailing and some (which not every boat has) that mostly maintain certain things (rigging, engine), with overlap depending on how the boat is run, what it does, and the size of the crew and ship. In general, the breakdown of positions/tasks is:

messmate: cook’s assistant and assistant deckhand (so only available on ships out for days at a time, which need ship’s cooks). typically this means meal prep, dishwashing, cleaning the galley, making snacks/coffee/salads/other small dishes, and setting tables, plus on-deck work like helping to tack sails and other odd jobs. entry-level position, since anyone can wash dishes and in the meantime you can shadow the deckhands and learn more sailing-specific things.

deckhand: the manual labor of sailing the boat. washing the deck, hauling, setting, and tending the sails, coiling lines, helping passengers board and disembark, rowing passengers to and from the ship in small boats, raising and dropping the anchor, standing watch, training new deckhands, time at the helm when on deliveries. can be an entry-level position, especially on ships that mostly do day-sails rather than overnights, but deckhands can also be highly skilled.

first mate (and second/third mate maybe??? I have only worked on ships with a first mate lol): in charge immediately following the captain. all the work of a deckhand plus additional responsibilities, among them training new deckhands, radio operation, driving the yaul boat, time at the helm, etc.

ship’s cook: fairly self explanatory. cooking three meals a day for the passengers and crew. because this is a lot of work, it’s almost always supplemented by a messmate. the cook (at least the ones I worked with) washed pots and pans themselves, in addition to cooking, and lit the woodstove early in the morning/tended it throughout the day.

engineer: also self-explanatory. dealing with the boat’s diesel engine and marine systems. not every boat employs an engineer; on the ones I’ve worked on, the captain and mate are usually the ones taking care of the engine.

bosun: care of everything above deck - maintaining and repairing the traditional rigging and sails. like above, not every boat employs one; often the captain, mate, and deckhands do this work.

captain: I mean. you know what a captain does. makes the decisions, charts the course, gives the orders, makes every important call.

How much time do you work a day? This also varies by boat; I’ll break down a typical day on some boats I’ve worked on below. I should say, though that, on windjammers particularly (the ships that go out for days at a time) the days seem extremely long mostly because you live entirely on board - there’s no strict work/home divide, it’s all the same, so although you’re responsible for passenger’s welfare the entire day you’re not doing hard physical labor for all 17 hours you’re awake - there’s time for meals, and usually a bit of downtime.

Unless you’re on deliveries (taking a boat from point A to point B without passengers), there’s no overnight shift, just a rotating overnight anchor watch. The majority of the work, like raising the sails, is time-sensitive rather than ongoing, so the crew generally keeps the same schedule.

on the windjammer I started on, as a messmate - turn to at 6:30 to make coffee, breakfast prep, cleaning breakfast dishes, lunch prep, cleaning lunch dishes, two hours or so of free time, making an afternoon snack, dinner prep, dinner dishes, clean the galley, and then I was off-duty by ~8:30 depending on how long that took. usually about 1 day off a week (trips were anywhere from 3-6 days long, and the day off was usually between trips. passengers would disembark around 10am, the whole ship would be cleaned inside and out until about 2pm, and then you had until 11pm the next night)

on the same windjammer as a deckhand - turn to at 6:30 to wash the deck and polish brass, raise anchor, set sails, hang out on deck tending sails while we were under way, striking sails and dropping anchor mid-afternoon, some days rowing passengers to shore and back), usually done with deckhand work by dinnertime. night watch shifts. the deckhands rotated who had ‘duty’, which was all the smaller chores - raising and lowering flags, lighting and stowing lanterns, cleaning the head, standing first watch, tending the little wood stove at night in the fall. if you were on duty then you were up at 6am, and off watch at 11am, every three days. also about 1 day off a week (if you were on duty, you had to be on board at 5pm the next night, to help the next round of passengers board, show them around the boat, tell them about safety features, etc).

deckhand on a day sailor (ship taking multiple small trips a day) - turn to at 9:30 to get the boat ready for the day - washing the deck, raising flags, cleaning the heads, etc. 4 2-hour sails with 30 min between each - usually about 10 minutes of getting ready for the next sail and 20 min to eat a snack, get more water, etc. Last sail ends at 8 and by 8:30 - 9 the boat is put to bed (sails furled, another deck wash, all that. With a crew that knows what they’re doing I’ve had nights where we were done by 8:15). On average 4 days of work, 3 days off, usually in a block.

deckhand on a different day sailor- turn to at 11am, maintenance until 2, getting the boat ready for a sail for another hour or two, then either and afternoon and sunset sail or just a sunset sail, then putting the boat to bed, done by 9ish? (I can’t remember exactly lol but around there, I think). Days off rotated, so I was off every third day.

deckhand during a delivery (taking the boat point A to point B, with no passengers). Time doesn’t matter. You have a watch group (usually 1/3 of the crew) and a watch schedule - I have experienced 4 hours on, 8 hours off, and 2 hours on, 4 hours off. When you’re on watch you’re at the helm, keeping the ship on course, changing the sails to best use the wind, logging position and other info. When you’re not on watch you have free time (although sometimes each watch group cooks a meal a day, and if there’s an urgent situation you’re expected to be on deck and helping immediately).

As ever, this is subjective, based on my own experiences, but I hope this helps!

#schooner bum life #Anonymous

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thatbipolarfeelwhen · 7 years

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i've been in this depressed, unmotivated, emotional, numb state. i just want to stay in bed forever. i feel really discouraged about the future when i'm usually so motivated when i'm not like this. i can barely function rn. i'm so self conscious and insecure now too. and even before this week, i've been having trouble sleeping but not really feeling it the next day. and i'm not hungry at all. i'm just really confused and scared. i don't know if i should tell someone. advice plz? ty ❤️❤️

Pt. 1

i’m really worried i might be bipolar. i’m not sure 1 or 2 but if so i’m thinking it would be more 2 but idk. freshman year i struggled with depression really badly. completely became numb to everyone and ruined a lot of friendships from either being distant and then telling them off or idk. sophomore year was better though and i mended them. but this whole end of year especially this summer, things have been getting out of hand with my mood. i’m either really hyped up for a couple days or weeks

Pt. 2

- or i can barely get out of bed even when friends come over. i’ll just lay there feeling empty and i feel like screaming and crying bc i don’t know why. and it’s been going back and forth all summer. i spent three weeks away from home in july at a camp and i had really bad separation anxiety but it got better gradually. and when i came home, the mood swings have just gotten worse. and sometimes they will switch in minutes and hours some days. i don’t know if this is rapid cycling. idk

Pt. 3

but this past week or two i was feeling so good. i was social, energetic, confident in myself. i was a little worried when my friends and brother pointed out that my speech was really rushed and hard to follow. i didn’t even notice myself. i also get really irritated, agitated, and short with people when i’m like that which is really frustrating bc i say things and then regret it.i felt really good though! but saturday night through sunday morning i sort of shifted over and it’s so frustrating.

Answer:

In my opinion (not professional, mind you) it sounds like you’re dealing with symptoms of bipolar II. However, severe mood shifts within an hour or minutes is not rapid cycling; rapid cycling is four or more distinct manic or depressive episodes within six months to a year. The severe mood shifts are still a part of bipolar disorder though! I deal with them a lot and I’m bipolar II.

The best thing I can recommend right now is for you to definitely tell someone. Find a trustworthy person who can help and let them know that you’ve been struggling. If help can’t happen right away, I suggest journaling and a mood tracking app. That way you can map out your moods and cross reference with the journal and try to pinpoint any triggers for mood shifts or episodes; makes the getting-help part a lot easier. Also, gather as much information on bipolar disorder as you can. There is no such thing as being over-educated, and it may help you understand what to expect if you get a diagnosis and how to help your recovery along. Self-care is also important. If you can manage one small (or big) self-care task a day, slip it into your routine, you’ll feel incrementally better as time goes on.

I wish you the best and I hope you find answers soon!

- mod ben

#actuallybipolar #ask #anonymous #diagnosis

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tminor09 · 7 years

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Once you piss me off...I'm Heartless

Once you piss off a person like me I’m done, I’m emotionless. I don’t care about you or your life…fuck you fuck your feelings fuck your family all that…it takes so much to really make me angry. If you keep picking at me Ima blow up and I’ll knock you out. I had anger issues growing up all of my life. I learned to control them, I keep my mouth shut. Sports and hobbies helped as well as good friends. My mom helps a lot, I can tell her anything and she calms me down. Im genuinely a nice guy I go out of my way to help people. I work hard and do my job at work. Because I don’t kiss up or act worried fragile egos crumble. They think I don’t care. I start off going 100 mph doing everything I can to show I care. Once you mess me over or I peep game, you fucked up, now I push the limits to fuck with you as a joke to me. I don’t care about what you say or think. I shut off emotions proudly. If you want me to be happy then don’t take me for granted, then I’m the best person in the world. So, the reason I was so angry this morning is because my supervisor Sam showed up this morning picking at me again. He’s been doing this for the past year. When I came to this job, I never missed work I always came early, I knocked out all of my jobs. I was eager to learn and do everything, then Sam started showing his Hoe tendencies. At that time it was to other people, which I peeped it, but it didn’t really effect me. When he started picking at me it started when I had all of the credentials besides one more year to get a promotion. At my job we have 3 positions, Mechanic 1,2 and 3, 3 being the highest. A Hispanic guy who is younger than me who I went to orientation with jumped from a mechanic 1 to a 3. How? I don’t know. He got the job no issues. I went up the ranks from a 1 to a 2 tried to go 2 to 3 I was here for a year and a half at the time. They tell me “you did everything right but we want you to wait another year.” So I waited. Job never came back even though sam said he would save the position. Now he’s a hoe to me. You messed me over. He had no issues giving the Hispanic guy the job. I still worked hard and did my job, but I lost my respect for him. He spineless, so basically its fuck you. I stopped trying to kiss up to him point blank period. For an example, he throws yearly Christmas parties for the body shops we bring food and we sit together and eat at the main location. The last two years I skipped them. The reason, “I don’t fuck with them like that.” That’s it, I don’t get paid to make friends I get paid to work. I did go to the thanksgiving party at my location with the truck mechanics up front. This is basically where majority of the black people work at the Kelly location in 5th Ward. So I recall sam crying saying “I give you guys a day to sit and not work, I throw a party and guys don’t show up?” Oh well shouldn’t have fucked me over. From that point on, Sam tries to pick at me. Critique every little thing that I do. Every single job. Even when we knock all of the work out he’ll cry and he actually said, “How come when I show up Tay-Shunn never acts like he’s busy?” The lead tech peter said “Well Sam we don’t have any work.” So Sam said “When I come everyone should jump up and act like they’re doing something even if it’s nothing to do.” Sam is scared of me, he always goes through peter when he has a issue because sam knows I’m unpredictable so he don’t know what he can and can’t say. Mainly because I act unbothered when he tries to yell or I look at him like he is stupid. Just like he sound stupid for what he said. Even if it’s no work, if I show up act like you are doing something WTF…if it’s no work then it’s no cars, what am I suppose to do jumping jacks??? That’s why I don’t have respect for him. It seems like he is one of those guys that got bullied in school and now that he has this position he wants to be treated like Jesus. All he have to do is send more work, not cry like a baby. So basically what happened today, we come in at 5am for overtime, get off at 3:30 so 50hrs a week. Since we don’t have any work Peter was face timing to some woman on his phone, I was writing blogs. So Sam shows up, he don’t blame Peter, he blames me for siting down. So he cuts overtime in half and he says (again telling peter not me) “if I didn’t see Tay-Shunn sitting down you guys would still have overtime. So yal go home at 2:30 (regular time) and come in at 5 (1 hr early). So basically it’s my fault that the overtime was cut and the guys should blame me. So I told peter "Fuck Sam and this Job! I’m quitting.” I know I can make more money at METRO painting and they been calling me. They make is equal to mechanic 3 over here with the overtime added. Peter is trying to talk me out of it, even though he kissed up to sam talking about “I don’t know what he was doing I gave him a job and the vehicle wasn’t here so he sat down.” And he said “Don’t let sam get to you. Let’s try to outlast him.” Even though I’m semi cool with peter it’s still fuck him too. He was sitting down as well. I talked to my mom. She is good at calming my nerves, she said apply and don’t let sam get to me, always act professional, and keep letting him think you are unpredictable. The supervisor at metro, especially on the night shift he said “We don’t get much work at night so bring a tv if you have one, bring snacks, and chill out until something comes in.” I’m just trying to get paid until I finish my bachelors degree so I can become a RN then work towards my next chapter in life. But I’m not going to get picked on by a spineless bitch plain and simple. After talking to my mom I’m good now, I’m calm…but one thing people have to know about me. I’ll bend over backwards to keep someone happy until they do something to make me change…then I’m heartless…

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