#I'm sorry for lying about myself in the beginning when I first joined Tumblr two almost three years ago.

[billyhargrove-imagines]

Kindred Outsiders: Pt. 1

Pairings: Billy Hargrove x OC

Warnings: Cursing

Word Count: 2374

A/N: Hello! This story was originally posted on my fanfiction.com account but I decided to bring it to tumblr as well :) Anyhow, this story is going to take place in the beginning of summer & will later lead up to the events starting in the beginning of season 3. Gif used isn’t mine. Enjoy!

-

Indiana is…different.

I moved out here merely two weeks ago from Los Angeles, California. My father died from a plane crash over a month ago. He was on his way home from a business trip. My mother, on the other hand, isn't in the picture because she passed away from cancer 5 years ago. I was 15 years old at the time.

I couldn't stand being alone in my father's mansion any longer. It just wasn't the same without him. It caused me nothing but pain having to enter a home where I am not greeted a simple 'hello' from my father. Dinners were always lonely so I ended up resorting to going out with friends almost every night for dinner, followed by drinking at home from my father's in-home bar.

When it came around to bedtime, I felt a pit in my stomach whenever I passed my father's office and didn't see the light shining under the crack of the door. He always worked in his office late.

One day I made a bold move by giving my aunt Joyce a call and moved in with her in Indiana a month after the incident. Aunt Joyce is my father's sister.

Her small house is nothing compared to mine and lacked the useless amenities I was used to. But I didn't care. Living here so far with her, Will and Jonathan was much better than living back in California all alone. Sure, I had friends but it doesn't compare to family.

Since I am an only child of my parents, I inherited all of their money. I also made a selfless decision and paid off my aunt's mortgage. When I told her the news, I was thanked with a slap across the face followed by a tight hug. She never wanted any handouts from my parents in the past and still doesn't til this day.

It is 1pm and I just clocked out for my short shift at this clothing store in the starcourt mall. Yes, I have a great amount of money in my bank account, but I still wanted to keep myself occupied by working a part time job. I didn't want to just sit on my ass all day. Especially since I still don't know what I want to do for my career. I am 20 years old and time is ticking, but I don't want to waste my time and money on schooling when I don't know what the hell I want to do yet.

After every shift I've been stopping by the ice cream shop, Scoops Ahoy and I always see the same duo, Steve and Robin. I've become quite acquainted with them and I learned so far that they're fresh out of high school.

"Let me guess, rocky road?" Steve said with a grin.

"You know me too well, Steve." I replied with a smile, stretching my arm out to hand him cash.

"God Steve. Just ask her out already." Robin added, rolling her eyes playfully and crossing her arms over her chest as she leaned against the back counter.

"Can you not?" Steve snapped his head at Robin, cheeks flushed red.

"Very funny, Robin." I let out a chuckle and waved goodbye to the duo as I licked my delicious ice cream on my way out.

As usual, I took my time walking through the mall. I wanted to make sure I finished my ice cream before I arrived to my car and headed home. A variety of families, couples and friends seemed to be enjoying their shopping trips. Though word on the news is that many local business owners are enraged about the mall being built due to losing business.

A familiar female voice snapped me out of my thoughts. "Hi Victoria!" Aria, my eccentric coworker greeted me, her shoulder-length blonde hair bouncing as she kept up to my steps.

"Hey Aria, I thought you're off today?" I asked, still enjoying my ice cream.

"Yeah I was just shopping around for a gift for my mom's birthday next week." She briefly lifted the shopping bag in her hand. "Did you just get off or are you on lunch?"

"Um, I just got off."

"Yay! I'm going to the pool after this. Join me so I'm not alone!" She suggested. "There's also this hot hot hot lifeguard they hired last week. I went to school with him!"

"Okay sure. But I'm not really into that."

"Come on, Victoria." Aria groaned. "I know you don't have any plans today."

"No I meant the hot lifeguard or whatever. Not into that." I gave a dismissive wave of my hand before taking a generous lick of my ice cream.

"Oh. You're into girls? So sorry. I didn't know."

I snorted in amusement, but internally I was rolling my eyes at her. She's always been quick to make assumptions.

"No no no. I like boys." I made known. "I just don't care to drool over a piece of meat. But I'm down to take a dip in the pool."

"Oh! Okay. Sorry. Sorry again."

"It's fine Aria," I dragged. "I'm gonna go home and change out of this and I'll meet you there."

"Yay! Okay bye!" Aria shouted with glee before going our separate ways. She sure can be annoyingly hyper sometimes, but she's the only real girlfriend I've made here so far. Robin is always working and when she is off, she's always busy doing god knows what.

Like clockwork, my ice cream was finished off before I made it outside to my car. Or should I say my late father's black 1984 Porsche 911. It's quite showy for someone who now lives in Indiana, but this car was my father's baby. I'm never letting go of this.

The Rubberband Man by The Spinners blasted on my stereo as I drove to Aunt Joyce's house. Music from the 70s has always stuck with me. On my face are my favorite pair of black aviator sunglasses.

After a moment of driving down the familiar roads, I pull into the front of my aunt's house. I take the keys out of the ignition, remove my aviators, hop out of my car and enter the non vacant home. "Hey Jonathan." I greeted my cousin who is watching television on the couch with a full plate and fork in his hands.

"Hey there, Vic. You're home early." He said with a full mouth. I hummed in response before scurrying to my bedroom.

I searched through my dresser drawers until I found the perfect bikini for my mood, which is a two piece. I paired my black cheeky bottoms with a neon green strapless top. After quickly peeling off my work attire and slipping into my bikini, I made sure to at least cover up my ass cheeks with denim shorts before throwing on a pair of sandals.

Now I am out the door, tossing my bag of pool essentials in the passenger seat and making sure not to forget my aviators. The sun is at its peak and I am ready to cool off.

Minutes later I pull into the parking lot of the community pool for the first time since moving down here. I've driven past it plenty of times but never had the need to go yet until Aria randomly invited me.

Exiting my car with my bag under my arm and my aviators on, I hear various sounds at a short distance of people enjoying themselves in the water.

The sun is beaming down at me as I'm making my way through the gate, glancing around until I find Aria. "Victoria! Hey!" She shouted with glee, waving her hand. I found her lying on the pool lounger.

"Hey Aria." I greeted, placing my bag on the ground.

"Go on in the pool if you want. I'm waiting for him to show up for his shift. It should be any moment now!"

"Really?" Sitting down at the foot of the empty pool lounger, I shook my head at Aria in disapproval.

She scoffed. "Oh don't give me that look, Victoria." I shook my head at her, dropping my shorts and tossing it in my bag.

Aria let out a gasp out of the blue, sitting up straight. "Speaking of Billy. There he is!"

"Where?" I asked, casually pulling a flask out of my bag. I'm not an alcoholic and I don't plan to get plastered, but a little buzz is well deserved.

Aria doesn't respond. Instead, I scan my surroundings until I spotted the only male lifeguard walking the grounds to my left. He is tastefully shirtless, wearing red swim shorts, a whistle necklace and brown aviator shades. His dirty blonde hair is styled into a mullet, which surprisingly fits his face perfectly.

Billy's head snapped my direction as I'm taking a swig out of my whiskey filled flask. I couldn't tell if he was directly looking at me due to the shades masking his eyes, but all of the women's eyes were on him. And by the swagger of his steps, I can tell he's reveling in it.

"Eh." I shrugged my shoulders, once Billy passed me and sat comfortably in the lifeguard chair. "He's alright." I lied.

From his perfectly tanned skin to his flawlessly sculpted muscles, it's as if his body was made by angels. Even from a distance, I could see that his plump lips could lose any woman in his kiss. But no, I had to feign being unimpressed because a man that looks like that is bad news for me.

"Are you freaking kidding me?" She briskly pulled her sunglasses off, shooting me a look of disgust.

"Are your sunglasses blinding you?"

I snorted. "Nope. I can see perfectly clear."

"Ugh! If you think that Billy Hargrove is just alright, then I don't even want to know what kind of men you consider perfect." Aria mentioned seriously to me as she laid back and placed her sunglasses back on.

"Don't care. I'm going for a dip." I threw my flask back inside my bag before rising to my feet towards the pool to swim a few laps.

Stroking through the water, there is no one alive who can stop me. It's a moment like this that makes me miss the beaches in California. But I close my eyes and lose myself, pretending that's exactly where I am.

Unaware how long I've been swimming to and fro, I do one more lap before I take a break and reward myself with another sip of whiskey.

As I am motioning out of the water and my feet are planted onto the cement, a deep, male voice captures my attention. "Here."

I look and it is the stud himself, Billy Hargrove handing me a towel. "Oh thanks." I accepted with a soft smile, almost hesitant because I have a towel in my bag but I didn't want to seem rude.

I begin pat drying my long, black hair with the towel and begin sauntering towards my designated pool lounger, but Billy halts me, "Hey sweetheart." I spun around to face him with furrowed brows. "What's your name?" He asked, removing his glasses to reveal his annoyingly beautiful, blue eyes.

"Victoria. And you?" I asked even though I already know.

"The name's Billy." He said, randomly placing a piece of gum in his mouth which caused me to catch a glance at his lips, then to his abs and back to his eyes. I swear I saw the corner of his lip quirk up when he caught me. "Nice to meet ya Victoria."

"You too Billy." The sun was so hot that I didn't even need to dry off my body anymore. Instead, I threw the towel over my shoulder.

"Am I mistaken or is this your first time here?" He asked, smacking his gum as he's indiscreetly giving me an elevator look.

"No you're right." Before Billy had the chance to speak any further, I pointed behind him towards the pool. "Hey, I think there's a kid drowning over there."

Just as I predicted, he cautiously looked over his shoulder and that's when I made a beeline towards my pool lounger next to Aria.

"You. Dumb. Bitch." Aria remarked with obvious displeasure as I'm searching for my flask. "I can't be friends with you anymore."

"What now, Aria?"

"Billy the hottie was obviously into you and you blew it! Ugh, the things I'd do to be in your shoes right now."

"Oh please. He's just another pretty boy that wants one thing." I implied before taking a sip. "Go over there and talk to him yourself then." Flickering my eyes, I am now seeing that Billy's back on his lifeguard chair.

"Um no. If Billy wants somebody, Billy always makes the first move. Do I look like I want to embarrass myself right now?"

"If you say so." I said, readjusting the pool lounger so that it was flat and I lied on my stomach, using my arms as a makeshift pillow. "Can you rub sunscreen on me and wake me up in 30. I'm taking a nap."

Being the good friend that she is, Aria stole the sunscreen from my bag and did as I asked. She knows I'd do the same for her.

"I know you can't see right now," she started after a minute of no words exchanged, "but he's looking over here. Probably at your ass." She paused. "I wouldn't blame him though."

She's right. I do have a nice ass.

"Billy can stare all he wants. What do I care?" I uttered lazily, eyes closed and ready to sleep.

"You're insane! If I can't have him, then can you have him for me? And tell me if it is big!" She whisper shouted, rubbing the last bit of sunscreen needed on me.

"Im not having sex with anyone, Aria. Especially not him. I'm taking my nap now."

Billy is just another handsome face with a Calvin Klein body which doesn't impress me because it seems like he's used to getting any woman he wants. But I'm not any other woman, so he can use that charm on the next one for all I care.

[ineffablefool]

(1/4) hey uh ur bio says that u r demiromantic and if it's not too much trouble could i get some help? so i'm starting high school next year and so far, i haven't gotten a crush or anything. romantic attraction? don't know her. but whenever i thought or pictured myself "grown up" i imagined myself with a boyfriend. (i'm a woman) all the evidence is pointing towards me being aromantic, but a little slice of my brain is still, "oh, you're just super demiromantic and violently straight, all of your

(2/4) super close friends have been girls, you just have to become really close friends with a guy and there! instant boyfriend" but i know that won't happen. i won't have some man come and suddenly i'm head over heels. but i've always figured i'd have a boyfriend. i know i'm ace, and i am calling myself ace, but whenever i go to call myself aro, my brain goes "but what if ur actually demi and then all the people you told u were aro will think you were a liar" which i kNOW is stupid but i cant

(3/4) stop thinking it. i dunno why i can't fully accept the fact that i'm aro. is it society claiming that you need a partner to be happy? is it the fact that being in love sounds amazing and like floating on clouds and i want to feel like that? i have no fucking clue. and it's not something against aros, like, i know that if someone told me they were aro i'd have no problem with it. which makes it worse because why is it so hard to let go of the fantasy that i'll have a romantic partner one

(4/4) day? i know, in my heart, that there is a like a 1% chance i wont be aro. but i still cant call myself aro my brain won't let me >:( when did you get your first crush? when is it normal for a demi to first feel romantic attraction? did you think you were aro at first? also i sometimes feel like i shouldn't call myself ace bc im too young to know if i like sex yet? when did u start calling yourself ace? ugh sorry for the super long ask,,, also fun fact it's "how do u write kisses" anon hiii

Hi anon.  I cannot promise you excellent help, but I am still glad you wrote to me again, and I really hope you are about to have a straight 72-hour period of Good Days.  (It might take you that long to read this.  Oops.)

So, first of all: there is nothing wrong with calling yourself aro now and then later deciding you aren’t.  Or realizing you aren’t.  (Two different framings for the same thing -- both are good.)  Or deciding or realizing that you’re somewhere on the aromantic spectrum which you feel is better described with a more specific term.  Demiromantics are still part of the aro umbrella!  It’s not an exclusive club where You Must Be Pure Aro To Enter!  (Anyone who tells you otherwise is setting themselves up as Decider Of What It Really Means To Be Aro, and where are their credentials for that?  Hmm, hypothetical gatekeeping person?  Can I please see your certification from the Institute Of Defining Other People’s Identities For Them?  Oh.  Oh you don’t have one.  Because it doesn’t exist.)

Me saying that doesn’t magically make your brain accept the label, of course.  I am just trying to gently show your brain the door, and it’s the one that has to walk through it.

Assuming you want it to walk through it.  Maybe you decide you don’t.  That’s fine!  But “yes, I am indeed aro -- I am on the aro spectrum somewhere so I am using the label” is a perfectly fine thing to tell people, and if they are not carrying forged credentials from the Institute Of Defining Other People’s Identities For Them, then they will probably be okay with this.

I am not any kind of expert on being aro, or ace, or anything.  I am only an expert in being me.  But to somewhat exhaustively answer the questions from your last part...

I had my first crush when I was thirteen or fourteen.  When I was about ten, I was friends with two girls who both had a very public crush on the same boy, and I claimed to also have one on him in order to fit in, but I was completely lying.  Sorry, Drew.  I’m sure you were quite the catch, but I was not feelin’ it.

I don’t know if there’s a specific time when it’s “normal” for a demiromantic person to start feeling any particular way.  It just sort of happens if it’s gonna.  Maybe it never does.  People are complicated and different and that’s wonderful.

I didn’t know what being aro (or being ace!) was when I was your age, because they weren’t really identities yet.  “Asexual” was for amoebas, or maybe robots.  “Aromantic” was, like, dude, did you misspell “aromatic”?  (Keep in mind, there was technically an Internet in approx. 1995, but there was no Google, no Wikipedia, no YouTube, no social media, the concept of what is now called a “blog” didn’t even really exist yet, and often your parents would not let you on the Internet connection if they could even afford it themselves, not least because it was frequently billed by the amount of time you spent using it. It was incredibly hard to know what things existed in the world back then to even begin to learn about them! Now is so much better. I have all the treasures of the world in my pocket via my telephonic device.)  When I started to learn about asexuality, specifically that you could be ace but not be “an emotionless robot” (gosh has unlearning that kind of judgement been a journey), I jumped straight on that label and never looked back (this was roughly when I joined Tumblr, so I would have been about 32).  I thought I was alloromantic for a while after that, but I’ve come to realize that my feelings on romance probably put me somewhere on the aro spectrum.  And that’s where I am now.

I started calling myself ace, again, when I was about 32, but I didn’t have that label available to me when I was younger.  Ya boi was 13-14 years old, sitting in his bedroom writing letters-to-never-be-sent to his crush, which included long sections about how I had already decided I would never have sex so long as I lived, so once we obviously got married because how could we not when I had such Emotions, he would have to find some other way to get that if he wanted it.  I had no interest in it then.  I never developed an interest in it since.  If I had had the knowledge I have now, back when I was in junior high, I am absolutely convinced that I would have taken the ace label then.  Was I too young to know for sure?  I dunno, we don’t say that people are too young at that age to know they’re heterosexual, so why do other sexualities have to pass a higher bar?  (Because compulsory heterosexuality.  That is why.)

Regardless of your age, if the label of ace resonates with you, you can apply it to yourself.  If the label of aro resonates, you can apply it to yourself.  Or a more specific variant of either, or something else entirely.  And the day you realize “oh gosh, this is not, in this moment, actually me”, you can let the label go, because its only purpose for existing is to be useful to you.

Finally -- this is not something I can personally speak to, but I have seen people who identify as completely aro also state that they enjoy things that our (my? I do not know where you are from) culture frequently sees as romantic.  Like, if you want to have a person who you can snuggle up with, hold hands with, say “I love you” to and have them say it back and both of you mean it -- there are aro people who do all that with their partners, and enjoy it, and don’t see it as interfering with their aromantic identity at all.  I believe them, because they are the expert on being themselves, and I have nowhere near the ego required to decide that I know better.  So that’s something to keep in mind -- cloud-floating and an aromantic identity do not have to be completely separate, because there are lots of kinds of love and of affection, and people are complicated, and that is wonderful.

I hope you enjoy this novel, anon.  It is for you.

[mental-health-advice]

I've been skipping lots of meals, & have lost interest in so much. I've started journaling, though. After a year of being clean, I cut. I don't know how, but I'm gonna have to be super secretive of my sexuality until I can move out in 2 years. My parents are homo/transphobic. They're suspicious of my sexuality or if I'm "confused". i have been experiencing strong anxiety & depression nearly every day & have vivid dreams. Lying for the next 2 years is gonna be so draining. how do i keep this up?

Hi love,

I am really sorry that you are having to deal with all of this right now, this must be so hard for you. I am really proud of you for reaching out for help because that is such a hard first step to take. Hopefully I’ll be able to give you some advice and reassurance

Firstly I am so sorry that you are struggling with self-harm, but it is an amazing achievement to have reached a year clean! Just because it is something you are dealing with again, does not mean that the progress you made is now worthless. You are still doing such a good job

Information about self-harmAlternatives to self-harmDistractions from self-harmReasons not to self-harmYoutube videos

We here at MHA are not professionals, and we really discourage self-diagnosis for the reasons listed here, but I do think it sounds like you may be experiencing some kind of depressive episode right now. I am going to list some of the symptoms of depression here so you can see how much you relate the them:

Persistently sad, anxious, or empty moods

Loss of pleasure in usual activities

Fatigue or decreased energy

Sleep disturbances

Change in appetite or weight

Thoughts of suicide or death, or suicide attempts

Poor self-image or self-esteem

(source)

If you think this is something that you are experiencing, then I really recommend reaching out to someone for professional guidance. Your first port of call could be your GP? They will be able to diagnose any mental health conditions and refer you for more specialist treatment. You may be offered different treatment options, depending on your condition, such as medication or talking therapies. Talking therapy may be especially useful for you and may help you to understand why you are experiencing depressive and anxious episodes and identify any triggers; they will then be able to help you with some coping techniques. I’m linking our page about getting help here. You may also be able to request to see a therapist who has experience and specialises in working with LGBTQ+ patients!  I am also going to link you to our self-help and calming pages about anxiety. These pages have some great tips about dealing with anxious thoughts, including grounding techniques. Grounding techniques might be useful for you when you find yourself getting lost in anxious thoughts; I would recommend something physical like running your hands under cold water, and then saying the alphabet forwards and then backwards slowly. Could you give some of these a go? I am also going to link you to this really great interactive booklet about depression created by Moodjuice. Personally I found this really informative and it had some great self-help tips.

Self-care is really important for you right now. Try to take at least an hour or two a day for yourself; fill that time with doing things that you enjoy and make you feel relaxed and at peace. For example, I take the two hours before I go to sleep and try it fill that time with things like art and music, I’ll also take the time to have a bath, wash my hair, look after my skin, etc. Practising self-care also involves things like making sure you are getting enough sleep, eating well, and staying hydrated. Spending time with your friends is also key so that you don’t begin to feel alone and isolated. Your friends can act as a strong support network for you.

In terms of dealing with your sexuality and coming out, it is a completely unique endeavour for everyone so I can’t tell you and exact way to deal with it or help. However, what I can tell you is that you are 100% not alone! Please remember that you come first in all of this, and we will always be here to support you no matter whether you decide to come out or not. I have never been able to come out to my parents, instead I have surrounded myself with people who support me for who I am, one way I did this was by joining online communities. Have you considered any local or online support groups you could maybe join/attend? I know there is a really large and wonderful LGBTQ+ community on Tumblr, for example, and it’s full of people who are ready to help and advise you – you may even find someone else who is going through the same things as you right now, and you can work together for support. I am going to list some websites and resources that I personally found really useful when coming to terms with my sexuality:

RUComingOutSwitchboard LGBTThe Trevor Project

I hope this has been of some use to you, lovely. Please remember that you can always get back in touch with us if there is anything else that we can help you with! Take care!

‘‘Keep fighting, people, and your little monsters will never get the best of you.’

Rhiann xo

[the-nerdy-stjarna]

Hi Sanna! I was just curious, since you were able to write so many fics for the advent calendar thing, how do you get inspiration for your works? I'm always impressed when people can turn an idea around so quickly.

Thankyou so much for your ask, @waitingforeleven. I was really excited about this, because it actuallyforced me to think a bit more about my writing process.

To be honest, sometimes I don’t even know myself where allmy stories are coming from. I didn’t start writing fanfic until May 2016. I had written two Gilmore Girlsfics about 10 years ago and can’t for the life of me remember how/why I startedwriting those, and then I got obsessed with really interested in AoS and felt like my husband wasvery slowly getting annoyed with me going on and on about my theories andworries about the show for days and days and days. And then I started bugging talking to my friend @mashiarasdream instead to give hubby a break and eventually she forced convinced me to start writing downall these theories that I had (she’s an avid fanfic writer herself, although not for AoS, and I made the mistake of ended up showing her my GG fics) … and BOY did she start something because all of asudden I couldn’t stop.

I’ve always had a very vivid imagination, playing stories inmy head (or… as an introvert: practicing conversations and phone calls ;) ),and that’s kinda what happens when I get an idea for a fanfic. It often startswith just one image (maybe from the show itself or something I imagine couldhappen) or with a line of dialogue. Then I just kinda let the story happen inmy head (makes for very long bathroom breaks and endless hours of lying awake in bed, let me tell ‘ya). Usually the dialogue just flows naturally. I can see and hear thecharacters in my head (sometimes, when nobody’s there, I even act and say things out loud–and for a brief moment in time think that my Scottish accent is really quite good ;) ).

When I start writing things down, I usually start with the dialogue, because that’s what’s the most prominent for me.Later I fill in the prose (and often struggle with it ;) ). I don’t know why, but most often when I start writing, the words just sort of flow out and I can barely stop myself until the main story is basically written down. [Which means I often curse myself when it’s once again 1 am and I’m still writing when I know my alarm is going to go off at 6:45 ;) ]

In almost all cases I already know the main arc (beginningto end) when I start writing, although sometimes I surprise myself and changethings later.

As for my inspirations:

It really depends. My very first AoS fic “Space” was written priorto the Season 3 finale. I was so convinced worried that the writers would kill of Fitzor Simmons and preemptively pissed at them and as a way of self-preservationand as a coping mechanism I wrote the most prominent theory in my head in thatregard down, because at least that way I could kill Fitz off on my own terms. (Thank God I was wrong… sorry, Lincoln, really, I’m sorry)

Some of my fics start out as coda fics in a sense. Somethingon the show gives me an idea of how the story might continue or maybe I wouldhave liked to see things differently. My second fic “Events on the Horizon” started out that way (post3x18).

Sometimes my own fics inspire me. My third fic “Beyond the Horizon” was inspiredby “Events on the Horizon” (a continuation). The fourth fic, “Decisions” was sort of sparked by how thethird fic ended. And there’s a bunch of shorter fics that kinda tie into the GhostsNo One Knew series (where part one inspired part two).

And since I’ve joined Tumblr (August 2016), I’ve written alot of fics based on prompts (either something people submit or something likechallenges posted by @thefitzsimmonsnetwork or @theclaravoyant‘s adventprompts). In those cases, I take the prompt and just kinda come up with a fewthings that the word/phrase reminds me of. Then I try to determine what kinda of fic Iwant to write (which characters to focus on, do I want it to be serious andangsty or humorous,…). Then I try to come up with the basic story idea, andthen I just kinda sit down and start writing. Sometimes I stick with the first thing that comes to my mind, especially when I’m struggling to come up with an idea, because then I tell myself “This was the first thing that came to your mind and maybe it’s weird, but there must be a reason why it was the first thing you thought of!”. Sometimes I think of a few things and then one just starts to jump out and give me an idea.

The advent prompts are a really good example and that was somuch fun to do! So, I’m gonna tell you a bit more about my process there sinceyou mentioned it in your ask. I won’t do all 24 prompts, but just a few (Ifthere is one that I’m not mentioning where you’re really curious about how Icame up with the story idea, feel free to ask!).

I knew I didn’t have to fill all prompts, but apparently Ilove a good challenge and so I really wanted to. I knew I would want to keepthe fics fairly short so I could post them quickly and each day (which wasactually a challenge for me, because, man, I sometimes just can’t keep thingsshort… see this reply as an example).

The second prompt was “smile” and who has a prettier smilethan Jemma? Sigh. And I thought of some of the moments when we’ve seen thatsmile and then I just rolled from there.

For the fourth prompt “wish” the first thing that came to mymind was “wish upon a star” and I couldn’t get that damn song out of my head, so I knew Iwould have to use it somehow and so I ended up with the meteor showers andthe idea that Fitzsimmons would take Daisy to see the meteor showers, and firstI was just going to focus on Daisy and her wishing for a family because let’sface it, Fitzsimmons would never wish upon a star because it’s so unscientific…and then I thought “What would makeFitzsimmons wish upon a star?” and that’s how the angsty bit got in there.

For the fifth prompt “sacrifice” my mind went “Awww, I don’twant to write something angsty this time. I want something happy. How can Ispin a sacrifice into something happy?” and somehow The Sushi Sacrifice wasborn.

My first reaction to the sixth prompt “star” was “Son of abitch! I just wrote a fic called “Wish upon a star” about meteor showers.PANIC!!!!” It took me a little bit longer to come up with an idea for that one,but I actually really love this Daisy fic. I had read a fic by someone else that suggests that Jemma made up her own constellations on Maveth and I really liked that (Who? Someone tell me what fic that was????), so I kinda picked up that idea as a memory for Daisy.

The prompt “bell” was probably one I struggled with themost. Nothing associated with bells (church bells, bell concerts, that rings abell) gave me any good inspiration. I think at some point I just started torandomly rhyme things with ‘bell’ and it I ended up with ‘hell’ and that mademe think of Fitz and his swearing and I was like “screw this, I’m just gonna roll with that” and TATA… I had an idea. [P.S. I also sometimesdraw heavily from my life, aka parenting experience. Toddlers do the weirdestand funniest shit stuff sometimes, so that’s great fanfic humor fodder]

“Journey” was another fun prompt, because–being completeFitzsimmons trash–I of course thought of Fitzsimmons’ journey first and wherethey would end up (Perthshire OF COURSE) and then I thought “But you alreadywrote a Perthshire/Fitzsimmons fic for the advent challenge” and all of asudden I had the idea of “What about Bobbi and Hunter? I miss Bobbi and Hunter!”

I’ve definitely had times when I’ve struggled to come upwith an idea, or where a story just won’t keep moving forward. I definitely alsohave some stories that are currently stuck in fanfic limbo on my computer, but more often than not the stories just keep happening (it’s also a fantastic way for me to keep my mind occupied, which otherwise wants to ponder all kinds of anxiety inducing, yet usually imaginary and far-fetched problems.)

So, I hope you enjoyed myfanfic writer rambles and that it answered your question (to some extent atleast ;) )