#I'm sure the reasons and explanations are much more complex and those might only be the apparent symptoms but not what lies underneath

[blorbosexterminator]

I believe a lot of fanfic writers would be massively disappointed if they were to try and publish their fanfics (having changed the most identifying characteristics to present it as original work). bc one of the reasons why we never say anything when someone's writing is full of spelling mistakes or bad grammar or, imo the most serious flaws - plots, characters, the low quality of the story itself, the themes, the subtext, the deeper meaning, etc - the reason, besides the whole participating in fandom communities and the fact it's free, is that we easily overlook some of those things because we get to read more about the characters we already love. I know my ff standards are fairly low. and who hasn't found themselves in a situation where they've read through everything they initially wanted to read and then started reading even the fics they first disregarded bc they can't get enough of their otp. do you know how many times I've scrolled past some especially cringy parts of fanfics, but I still love them. when you publish it, you immediately lose that aspect and most reviewers and readers won't be particularly generous. I just think publishing ff has a very high chance of being a mistake, and if publishing houses are approaching ff writers, I don't think they're looking for high quality and I wonder how much they'd invest in serious editing. IMO those who write ff and want to be published should consider working on an original piece of work, or at least reworking their ff significantly. thanks for reading through my message.

Again, I can't say I disagree at all. Fanfiction doesn't hold a grasp in all of those aspects you mentioned against actual published books [and of course nothing at all against the few of those books we would actually dare to call literature] and we allow it and are fine with it, not just because it's free and about the community and about the basic delight in sharing more of the characters we care about, but because none of those things are the primarily function of fanfiction. You don't judge Ikea and an apartment you're going to rent in the same mannar. Ikea isn't a house. At least to me, fanfiction is only about the source material. If there is a fic that has a well-thought out plot and decent prose, but the characters are mischaracterized and/or the dynamics are inherently misunderstood, then it still fails at being a good fic to me. Because, simply, if what I'm looking for is a good plot and decent prose, then I'll just pick any, even a mediocre, book [and it'll be better than said fic]. So not only does fanfiction fail by large at competing in those elements, in the average ratio of good to bad fics, it's also the fact that even a good fic that does all of those things decently still won't hold a chance against an actual good book.

It's the same from a writing's perspective too. It's not exactly about effort but what sort of effort it is. If I feel like it, I can just post a fic because I want it out without spending millenia editing it. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. But the point is, with fanfic I have the choice and it won't matter. And it's not just about the editing, the grammar, etc.

Anyway, yeah. They aren't looking for quality. It's still a capitalisic endeavor. Bad books, unfortunately, do sell. Fifty Shades of Grey made millions to an average fanfic writer. Doesn't make it a good book [and I doubt even a good fic before that]. And it's understandable with this current twitter and tiktok book market; honestly the things twitter authors write and tiktokers promote aren't at all that much better than fanfics. They are well aware of what makes them money, and if they're pursuing ao3 writers then they know the money they'll put in editing, they will get back tenfold. But if anyone thinks that's a win for fanfiction, they are mistaken. It's just an insane downgrade in published literature. And dare I say [while risking sounding like a Harold Bloom-like boomer] it's an insane downgrade in the generation/public's reading taste.

[bookwyrminspiration]

Call me out if I’m wrong here, but I feel like sometimes, when you’re in this fandom, there’s a lot of contradictory?

I feel like not that long ago people were upset that others were saying they didn’t like something, so wording changed.

I do believe that we should be honest on whether or not we like something (while being kind/gracious about it), but that might be the reason why some people are more nervous to just come out and say it?

Again I may be so incredibly wrong; I’ve been dipping my toes in and out of the fandom for a while now.

I think you have a valid point. There's a lot of people in the fandom, and we have different opinions, some of which contradict each other. Sometimes one view dominates, then the other. We vacillate and change, which is only natural.

Regarding the recent wording change, I'm not sure what specific thing that was in response to--there was some conversation in the vein of "if you don't like it, why are you here?" Which was more in response to the overwhelming negativity the series has started to accrue with the long interims, its current direction, and fans getting older. The sort of "people don't want to hear about how much you hate the thing they love." Even if you've established yourself as a fan of it previously.

Which I think can coexist alongside simply saying you don't like something. I can say the new cover isn't really hitting for me without tearing it apart and making those who really enjoy it feel bad, you know? I don't mind it, understand why it's like that, and appreciate Jason Chan's artistic prowess, but that doesn't make it interesting to look at.

But you're right, there's been this push to justify why you dislike things, at least in online spaces. So it's harder/makes people nervous to say "I just don't like this." Myself included. Instead it's "this was rushed" "this was last minute" "Shannon's publishers are pressuring her" "her editor's are pressuring her" etc.

Which, again, is entirely possible. Writing and publishing is hard; it takes a lot of work and pleasing the industry isn't easy. But there are points where--I think--people approach it with bad faith.

To use the cover as an example again, a lot of people are saying it's rushed. Possible. But is there a history of rushing covers? Not that we've seen, all the others have been spectacular, detailed, and thorough. What would they gain by rushing it? They could meet deadlines sooner, have something to share with the audience since we're in a weird period. But they could also damage their marketing with a subpar product, especially given the series' popularity. Why do we think the cover looks rushed? Its simplicity, its different mood. But, again, Shannon said that was intentional. There's Keefe's appearance, which is really hit or miss for people. I don't think Keefe not looking as attractive as people imagine/want is a result of rushing, but because there's an impossible standard for him as The Boy of the series. And so on and so forth.

The point of that being we've come to this conclusion, I think, hastily. While book 9.5 wasn't the original plan so of course timelines change, I don't think S&S has a history or motive to rush. There's already an established precedent for delays when necessary, the cover came out later than others, and there's (i think) a solid, purposeful reason the mood is different.

Could I be wrong? Absolutely. But the rapidity of the conclusion and with how much it feels we've been outsourcing our dislike the past few years I'm started to feel a little skeptical. Boy who cried wolf kinda thing. Was it rushed again, or do we just not like it? Feels like a slapstick explanation without further examination

And of course you don't have to analyze everything, but some things are a bit more complex, you know?

Point is: I think we're overusing these explanations (pressured, rushed) and at this point if we don't delve further into it it starts to lose its meaning. There is an argument for being rushed and pressured! But without getting into it, I can't tell if we're thinking it through or just avoiding saying we don't like something for fear of judgment/reprisal.

[sansbyshipper]

Ok so I'm going to be spit balling ideas for my fic "Trouble in Paradise?" SO these might be spoilers, but not ones that will ruin the plot. I think. So you have been warned.

Ok so I've been thinking a lot, mostly over a few comments I got on my fic, one being how people don't know what's going on with Raph in future chapters so here we go, explanation time:

I created Mind Leo, who is almost exactly like Mind Raph, to be the reason to Leo. I wanted to show that he isn't stupid, he just chooses to ignore the problem right infront of him. Mind Leo is the nagging thought, coaching him, giving him advice, trying to help him as someone not tangled up in love (both romantic and family)

He exists, kinda as a bystander, but here's where things get more complex. He is completely aware of some outside factors, why? Because he has access to the other "Minds" or personifications of the turtle brothers. You won't see Mikeys or Donnies, because they are not at that level of stress. Raph his whole life has throw everything to make sure his brothers get everything they deserve.Because of resent events, Leo has begun to go through a similar thing. Hence Mind Leo always calling Leo out for excusing certain behaviors and feelings.

SO Im thinking that Mind Leo and Mind Raph can in one form or another communicate with each other, sharing what they know and alerting the other when there is trouble. The thing is the Minds can only share as much as the indivdul themselves know. But they can give emotions regarding something. SOoooo

While the two can share information, they can only give Raph and Leo emotions and feelings about things. This possibly could be true for Mikey and Donnie, but I've yet to explore that

SO yes, those who got all the way through, hope you enjoyed this ramble

[perfectarmony]

Sorry, not sure if this went through (having computer problems), so am resending: Looking forward to your TLC review. Not to be a downer but the ep was a bit of a snoozer for me. The Armony reunion was lackluster - they came across as casual business partners IMO. I feel like they are regressing Armony without much explanation. Arman asks how Thony and Luca are doing and that's about it - kind of flat. Hopefully their new biz venture will create some interesting dynamics but of course Nadia is the middle of it. Messy isn't always interesting. The Nadia and Arman dynamic is just weird, without much insight into their relationship. She gets jealous of Thony, makes snarky comments and Arman looks uncomfortable. I thought Nadia was more interesting last season - more complex and unpredictable. Arman seems all in on his marriage - again, what changed from S1? The Garret storyline is getting tired too - how many times is he going to blackmail Thony to spy for him? I like NA but could care less about his relationship with Nadia except for how it impacts Armony. How do you like the pacing so far? Did you like the ep? Tx.

Hey Anon! 😏

There's a lot going on right now - they have to lay the foundation for the new storylines/characters and that could be one of the reasons why something feels a bit off.

They did an amazing job in S1, making it so easy to appreciate and understand characters, almost as if we had already known them for a season prior to that, and at times, it feels like they may have trouble finding their footing now with all these changes?

For me, 2.03 was a solid episode, a bit all over the place but solid nonetheless!

To avoid losing myself, I'll rely on the points you made 😉

Again, the following is just my opinion, don't throw anything at me 😏

------

Armony

I appreciated their scenes but I agree, I'm sure everyone expected more from their reunion. They didn't really know what to do when they were face to face and free of their movements - which I found cute but a bit awkward too hehe. Not much more to say from a ''romantic'' pov but in the situation they are in - Thony having once again to deal with her son's health issues and Arman giving up everything with no guarantee that he'll get it back - I can't really blame them, it just wasn't the right time.

Now I hear you, I'm also a die-hard Armony shipper, and sure I would have loved to see Arman get worried and show more when Thony reminded him that Luca is still only able to survive with those meds - but honestly, Arman has been way more anxious and has a lot on his mind since the premiere so this could explain that.

BUT Arman said Bosco wouldn't risk getting the meds across but he still managed to convince him, and after hearing Bosco's comment ''that's what happens when you got the ladies running you around'', I wish we would have heard their conversation - I'd like to think that it was Arman's worries and a note of urgency in his voice that made Bosco agree rather than just him doing his friend a favor.

One thing that struck me and that keeps running in my mind - Arman said he didn't want to get involved in this business with Thony because he didn't know anything about it...I might be stretching things here and seeing things that don't exist - but if you extent that to Armony, maybe their distance is here to show him being scared of ''losing control'' with her, scared of not being able to give her what she needs - so he sticks to what he knows for now...which is Nadia...does it make sense or is all of that just my head messing with me? 😂

Nadia has always felt threatened by Thony, and she knows that without her help Arman couldn't have gotten out of jail, and now she is once again ''saving him'' - if you take it from this side, I think Nadia's reaction is understandable. Arman had to get her involved in their business - but Thony stood her ground and proved herself in their office and Nadia almost seemed to be impressed by her, so maybe things will get a bit easier now between the two? But yes, Arman was definitely uncomfortable in that scene.

I'm not sure Arman is all-in on his marriage. For some reason, he didn't respond when Nadia told him she loved him and he was quick to shrug off her accusations after helping Thony. As I already said a couple times, they care about each other - and like you said, not knowing about their story as a couple makes it harder to understand their relationship.

Robert/Nadia

To be honest, as much as Robert freaks me out through his calm and charming way of threatening people, I like him and I'm always open for more backstories (yes even when it concerns Garrett 🙈 I AM A SUCKER FOR BACKSTORIES I can't help it). The problem I have here though, is that we still haven't heard Nadia's story - and I'd hate to only hear about it because it is tied to Robert's - or worse...only hear about their past romance..not that I don't want to hear that story, but hers is much overdue.

I'm all over the place...but (so far) the connection Hayak had with Arman made him a more interesting character. I expected Robert and Arman to have a history too, but we actually got to witness their first encounter - so Nadia is the only one linking us to his character...okay Maya also is (and the new FBI Agent probably too) but we don't know her yet so it doesn't count..

Garrett

From a storyline point of view, I can understand them having Garrett use Thony to get to Maya because without that scene..well the only thing we had was Garrett getting into his former office and stealing evidence. Now I know most (if not all) of you don't care about all of that - but we didn't get to see him watch Maya, notice her black eye, probably getting upset, maybe feeling responsible - all of those things leading up to him reaching out to Thony...and forcing her hand. Seeing those scenes still wouldn't make his behavior okay, but they could have helped to not have him appear like a total ass. Again they are trying to build this Cortez storyline, and are slowly creating a link with Thony to tie everything together, so I get why this had to happen but completely agree with you - it could have been done differently.

------

We're only 3 episodes in and they have a lot on their plates...they did great last season, so let's keep our hopes up - I'm sure we just have to give them a little more time and once everything is set into motion, we should have superb episodes that will hopefully satisfy the entire fandom 😏

Geez why do I feel like this post is just full of complains when I love this show to death? Can I make myself feel better by saying that it's constructive cristicism? 😭

[itsclydebitches]

All right you bring up good points but then I can't help but recall how Oz and Salem's presumably eldest daughter just manifests magic like it's nothing as a young child making it look like magic is a very easy thing to manifest which has a lot of implications when all of humanity had magic during the age of the gods. How do you account for that other than saying that maybe she was a special case because that would be a very unsatisfying answer.

Yeah, it might be an unsatisfying answer, but frankly RWBY is chock-full of those precisely because the worldbuilding is so tenuous. In fact, that's a cornerstone of many RWDE vs. non-RWDE debates. There's a prevailing idea that something can't have happened in RWBY because that would be bad/stupid/inconsistent writing. When critics point out a problem, a common response is that the problem doesn't exist because RT wouldn't write a subpar tale, ergo the problem must lie with you, the viewer, and not the text. Cue whatever headcanons or hand-wavy ignorance is necessary to make it all make sense. However, the much simpler and likely answer is that yeah, sometimes authors do write bad stories. Or, in this case (to avoid subjective markers like "bad" and "good"), stories that don't take into account the way their details imply a conclusion that doesn't agree with past information, leading to only "unsatisfying" headcanons to explain things. For me, recognizing that the answer is potentially unsatisfying isn't evidence that there's something wrong with the critique, it's evidence that RT never looked at the story as a whole and went, "Well, if Humanity 1.0 has magic, we should probably show the warriors using magic in these fights. That's a key detail to keep our worldbuilding consistent and we care enough about these shorts to ensure they fit well within the larger RWBY universe."

Or, to put things into my ever-present food comparisons:

Critic: This food lacks salt.

Non-critic: No, that's not possible because their food in the past had salt and any decent cook would never have forgotten that. This is a decent restaurant! It has to be because I've been coming here for years. Clearly there's some subtle, complex reason for why you can't taste the salt. Or why they deliberately chose to leave it out. I know they've never said why they'd leave the salt out and any reason we can think up sounds kinda stupid considering it makes the food taste worse... but a good and logical and satisfying explanation must exist.

Critic: I really think they just forgot.

I mean, I forgot which version of humanity we were talking about for several paragraphs of that recap. Granted, I'd pay a lot more attention to that kind of stuff if someone was paying me for it, but the point is people make mistakes at the best of times... and that's not factoring in how many people are involved in RWBY (the writers vs. animators mistakes), deadlines, various limitations, and—frankly—past evidence that RT might just not care enough to put in that level of detail-oriented work. Jaune's symbol remains a great example of that. The fandom assumed for years that there was a connection between him and Salem due to Tyrian's comment and Salem's flashbacks. Now, we know that the team literally just didn't think about the implications of designing two very similar symbols and, as of writing this, they still haven't come back to Tyrian's interest from four Volumes ago, implying that they never cared about it in the way the audience did. Basically, we tend to assume there's more thought and effort put into certain aspects of RWBY than history has shown is actually the case.

Anyway, to get back to the question, yeah, their daughter manifests magic quite easily, but she's also presented as an outlier. Meaning, at this point we're in Humanity 2.0, no one expects any magic anymore, and Jinn describes it as a "miracle" that the kid could perform it at all. So I'm not sure her development is great evidence of how it might have gone for Humanity 1.0 (especially if we factor in wild cards like, "How might the daughter of a grimmified human manifest magic?"). If we theorize though, it does stand out to me that the daughter has stupidly powerful magical parents. I mean, that seems to be the obvious answer as to how she got magic in the first place, despite humanity as a whole losing it (her parents hail from 1.0), but that—combined with Salem's desire to "replace" the current version of humanity with her bloodline—implies that magic is tied very closely to genetics. We might think about it like red hair. Sure, we could say that humanity as a whole has red hair in the sense that it exists within the collective, but that doesn't actually mean everyone's got red hair, or that every child has the same chance of winding up with red hair. It's a whole range of factors, most notably needing the right combo of both parents having the recessive trait to wind up with it. So the King has magic. Salem gets magic. Her daughter gets magic—double the chance, even, considering that her dad has magic too. They also happen to be super duper good at magic, which might increase the chance of passing it on. Regardless, it seems to run in families, a lot like how now, in Humanity 2.0, certain semblances run in families too. Not everyone has unlocked aura (civilians). Not every gets a semblance (Roman). Not everyone can summon glyphs (Schnees only). If we think about magic as having some kind of genetic component, combined with the canonical need to train/unlock magic-based abilities, that would go a long way towards explaining how certain powerful lines like the King's can start using magic at a very young age, but Mr. Knight McNobody from another part of Remnant can't even summon up a spark. Maybe he comes from a region where magic isn't as prevalent. Maybe his particular family didn't pass it down. Maybe he has the ability, but no one ever unlocked it, he didn't train it, it never manifested in a way that was ultimately more powerful than swinging a mace.

All of which is, of course, mere headcanon. My only real point is that the fairy tale doesn't clarify the worldbuilding for us, but in fact implies a contradiction with no explanation either way. We're told Humanity 1.0 has magic, yet we see lots of warriors not using magic, even to save their own lives. We're told Humanity 2.0 doesn't have magic. However, it turns out they do in the form of semblances. But also that's not "real" magic either. Because Ozpin and the Maidens get real magic. No one worry about the actual distinction between these because RWBY is a constantly evolving show that rarely keeps itself bound to previous rules (see: Ruby's latest semblance explanation). Really, at any point my arguments are far less, "RWBY is 100% this" and far more "RWBY is maybe this, maybe that? Implications aside, we straight up don't know because it's all super unclear. We keep getting new installments that don't easily slot into what we've learned before."

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

I'm yet a third anon, and yet I also agree with the first anon a lot! And I'd use this opportunity to vent a little -- I love this fandom and its discussions but how much it assumes Paul was somehow the primarily guilty party in the J/P thing not to happen and that he hurt/rejected John in India is maybe one of the biggest thing that makes me feel confused and like an outsider. Because sometimes it feels like people act like that's as sure as canon, and to me it's frankly weird, because there's no objective evidence of that (that I know of). IMO the whole assumption that John was the one more consciously in love with Paul is a very wild guess, then the assumption that he expressed it and Paul rejected him is even more of a wild guess, and then the idea that that was the sole or primary reason for John to get depressed after India is just so much of a HEAVY and accusatury thing to put on Paul. It's not only without evidence but imo without reason. I mean, John was a complex intelligent person with a very complex present at the time of the India trip and a very complex past. There could have been so many reasons he was depressed! (f.e. Cynthia learning about his affairs and their family falling apart might have been one of them).

And then - sorry to go on venting - but one of the saddest thing for me is the impression I have that big parts of the fandom believe that ''what happened in India'' (aka Paul rejecting John or not being there for him) was the reason of all the things John later did to Paul. I guess written that way it's supposed to make sense, but I mean, there's barely any evidence of Paul doing something mean to John in particular in India or after (which he didn't do to all of the others as well, like being bossy in studio or suing them). And there are plenty of well documented little insances of John doing something mean to Paul - like How Do You Sleep, many little mean things he said in interviews, telling him that his idea for concerts is daft and that he wants a divorce, bringing Yoko to sessions even though Paul was obviously uncomfortable writing with her present. And ok, these might not have all been against Paul personally, but they were hurtful to him and fandom's explanation often is that John did anything overly cruel/humilliating to Paul because Paul was mean and rejected him in India! I mean, imagine a close friend writing a hurtful song for you or doing press against you and then the public saying it makes sense (i.e. you deserved it) because you rejected that friend during some trip you had together a couple of years ago... even though they haven't been on that trip and there's no evidence of anything like that happenind on it. And while your friend's song/interview is forever recorded and visible to see, your primal sin against the friend is not recorded or evidenced by anything but treated like a certain explanation of it all...

(And for the record I don't mean to hate on John, I understand people trying to empathise with him and find vulnerability behind the anger. But I find it wild that the accusations to Paul are so big that they even are supposed to justify everything bad John did. Even if it's not ''justify'' but just ''explain'', it's still wild. And I'm not saying Paul was never mean to John, just that the idea that he did something primarily evil/uncaring/rejecting to explain everything that happened later is very speculative and imo unfair.)

Sorry it's very late this was too much of a silly rant. I know that some of those things I'm venting against are just part of fanfiction, and they're understandable there anyway. Thank you if you read that <3

I'm the same anon who wrote the long rant starting with ''I'm a yet third anon'' some time ago. :D Just wanted to clarify something, because I wrote my previous message too fast and some of the things I said were not very true. Like I think I wrote that Paul never did something mean to John in particular. I know that's a very silly thing to say, and that of course it can't be true. I know he also wrote ''dis tracks'' for John, he wrote Too Many People first etc. But what I mean is just that I actually find it more likely that How Do You Sleep was an answer to these mean things Paul did at the time of the break up (like John said himself), instead of that supposed primal sin Paul made in India. And at the same time I think HDYS (and John's interviews at the time) was an obviously over-the-top of a response to the much milder TMP, more personal and cruel. And I think there might be many possible reasons for that over-the-topness of John's attitude at the time but I think people explain it with the India rejection Paul supposedly did... and that is what I'm against and that is what I say is imo unfair to assume. I also think it's not very logical because John wasn't saying such mean things about Paul after India, he recorded three albums with Paul after India. He was saying them after the Beatles break up. Which doesn't make Paul innocent in the break up at all... but it doesn't make him guilty in the he-never-returned John's love or tried-to-confort-him when he was depressed either. I just think that the accusation that Paul rejected John in some big personal way is bigger than what anyone in fandom blames any of them about those angry songs or law actions they did during the break up. Only Paul receives such a big personal accusation - that he was oblivious, loveless or too scared to reciprocate love and therefore (even if unwillingly) caused all the bitterness after the break up. That's what I think is very speculative. Although people have a right to speculate, I guess. :) Anyhow, thanks for reading again, sorry for the big spam! <3 (I'm sure there will be things I'll regret from this message as well)

So I don't entirely agree with every detail here, but I hear where you're coming from and agree with the main gist; a lot of things seem to be assumed as "canon" without much basis. It's difficult though, because there's no objective line to draw between "this is an educated guess" and "this is pure conjecture".

The reason for "What happened in India?" is that immediately following the trip, John tripled down on the erratic behaviour (specifically in his love life) + the conversation about the trip in the Get Back session tapes. I agree, though, that the fact John is still on friendly if strained terms with Paul in January 1969 makes the whole India thing sound a lot less like a Before/After moment than it's made out to be.

Personally I wouldn't call assuming that John was "more consciously [or at all] in love with Paul" a wild guess, because he said many things that Kind Of Sound Like That. We might be wrong about it, but IMO the evidence is more than strong enough to call it a reasonable theory. The idea that he expressed it and was not satisfied with however Paul responded in India is, I'd say, completely circumstantial but still relatively compelling. The idea that this would've caused all of John's subsequent issues, however, I agree is laughably unnuanced to the point I'd call it objectively false.

And again, I think if asked, basically everyone would say "No, of course not every single one of John's issues comes back to Paul not tucking his hair back and saying 'I love you' before pulling him into a kiss" but there's this undercurrent in how it's talked about that seems to presuppose that fact.

I do also want to say that I don't think Paul is directly affected by any of this, since he isn't on tumblr and probably barely even knows this site exists, but it does sometimes concern me how eager people are to force fictionalized narratives onto real humans, having seen people who do this to their IRL friends. And it's weird to constantly see people saying "WHY ARE YOU SO SERIOUS???" when I'm just trying to have a conversation lol.

[intergalacticstarlight]

웃:  three people that are important to my muse (for missy from @fearsasuperpower )

         [ @fearsasuperpower sent in a symbol from here] - [Always Accepting]

[CONTENT WARNING: This post has mentions of loss, grief, death, some violence and specifically mentions the loss of a child.]

// Getting right into it, I see. Let's dive:

Name Redacted ; Theta Sigma; "The Doctor" [Pronunciation Redacted; Pronounced Thay-tah Sig-mah; Origin Species Unknown & Time Lord; Canon]

        This one sort of goes without saying and without explanation, but try as I might to list anyone else [and there are several, surprisingly, apart from this list here] Missy is just not having it. Theta Sigma, also known as The Doctor, grew up with the Master on Gallifrey. Their shared history is tragic and beautiful, filled with love, betrayal and passion so searing it nearly burned them both alive.

        Throughout the course of their shared history, the Master has both loved and hated the Doctor fiercely and completely. They've wanted to grab the Doctor by the face and kiss them just as much as they've wanted to tear apart every single incarnation's face, or perhaps pop out an eyeball or two with their thumbs.

        The way Missy feels is so complex and rich with beautifully predatory context that to be honest, she still isn't sure which one she wants to land on next- love or hate. It has to be said, though, that throughout all of time and all of space, the one constant in Missy's life has been and always will be the Doctor-- and that takes a lot of precedent.

Bill Leian Potts [Pronounced Bill Lee-ann Potts; Earth 42 Human; Canon apart from her middle name]

        Alright, so this one is a little bit of a secret so don't tell anyone I've told you this or the Master will have my head. However... Missy formed what she would call an unenthusiastic friendship with the Earth human throughout her stay within the Chamber [Vault].

        The girl was very quick, very clever and for a human seemed to possess a level of intelligence and self-awareness that even Missy had to concede was sort-of-almost-impressive. Not to mention she allowed the Doctor very little nonsense and mystery, which suited Missy well. It made losing Bill quite painful, especially considering the circumstances under which she was lost. This pain is a part of the reason Missy is so willing to... well. You know.

Gaeli-ryn de Oakdown [Pronounced Gail-Lee-Rinn; Gallifreyan & Time Lord; Headcanon and Canon combined]

        There's no real easy way to describe this one, so I'm just going to go ahead and say it: this was the first daughter loomed by Koschei and his first wife, Sarray, on Gallifrey. They did have five other 'children' that they chose to loom together, though for the most part those other children were loomed out of political necessity and several years after their first had arrived. Gaeli-ryn was made out of their mutual desire to continue their bloodlines in tandem, and as such was treated more like their daughter and less like their obligation.

        When the Time War began, the Master did everything they could in an attempt to keep their former family safe-- despite all of the bad blood that had passed between them. The first time the Master was captured and experimented on by their own people, the Council saw fit to obtain Gaeli-ryn and make an example out of her in order to gain the Master's compliance. It worked only long enough for the Master to escape, but the attempt to rescue their daughter failed and she ended up being... terminated in the Master's arms.

        Missy is the first incarnation since this event to willingly remember Gaeli-ryn, and the memory burns like wildfire in her hearts. The 'canon' part comes into play here because I use this daughter as the daughter Missy speaks of from time to time, the one that she lost.

[songmingisthighs]

Hooked

introduction pt. i | pt. ii | pt. iii

ch. lxiv - cowards

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??? × reader, ateez × reader

A freshman hookup rekindled into something new. With an incentive, of course. But what would happen if your 'relationship' led you somewhere you never thought would happen to you ?

After sending the last text, Mingi and Jongho didn't waste time and immediately rush to (Y/N)'s room. When they arrived, the door was ajar with Seonghwa standing inside. He was staring blankly around, seemingly confused.

"Hyung, have you been here?" Jongho asked, breaking Seonghwa's trance.

"Y-yeah, I did- she left? Just like that ??" Seonghwa asked, still not believing anything that just happened.

Maybe it was Seonghwa's guilt. The fact that his last interaction with you was him accusing you of being a whore didn't sit right with him. There was a lump in his throat and a heavy feeling on his chest. It felt like he was suffocating.

The three of them stood silently, not knowing what to answer.

As they stood silently, the other boys walked in one by one. Wooyoung walked in first with San in tow, they both immediately took note of the silence and just stared at each other with guilt.

One by one everyone else filled the room, staring blankly at the emptiness and letting sorrow and regret fill them.

"S-so that's it? She left us yet AGAIN after having just came back last night?" Hongjoong asked in disbelief. There was no malice in his tone, there were no ill intentions. He was shocked, surprised at the sudden tension.

Mingi turned to look at the eldest with much disdain, "After what happened to her last night, could you really give her blame?"

inking that Hongjoong felt wronged, as he thought his assumption was justified. To be singled out as such was a little bit too much. "Are you trying to be a hero here?" he asked the taller guy. Mingi scoffed at him, "Hero? You think I have some sort of a complex?" "I don't know, do you? I don't think it's a hero complex, but there must be some sort of a messed up complex in you. Because you've been all over the place and overreacting, acting like a mess when you can't find (Y/N) and yet not saying anything when she was here, letting Yeosang ran his mouth at her, driving her off,"

At the mention of his name, Yeosang spoke up from the corner of the room. "I drove her off? Are you fucking serious?" to which San, who was by his side scoffed, "Weren't you the one who verbally attacked her last night? Calling her out on leaving without any explanation was one thing, but to call her a wandering tramp?" "Okay, I was looking out for all of us. YOU especially, San! You don't know how much it affected me seeing you all broken down and you even fell into depression! As your friend, I was fucking worried!" Yeosang defended himself.

Wooyoung chimed in, scoffing at his long-time friend, "Looking out for us? From what? From who? The woman we love? If you wanna go off on her, that's one hundred percent your choice, but don't use us as your excuse. That's just pathetic, man," he told Yeosang whilst glaring at him.

Seonghwa got in between the two, preventing them both from going at it even further. "Okay, enough with you two, you both can't be fighting during this time. Yeosang might've said some... unnecessary things to (Y/N) last night, but things aren't completely his fault," he reasoned.

Surprisingly, Yunho chimed in, smirking at the older man, "You got that right," he muttered. Yunho's voice was intentionally loud enough for everyone to hear, but still low enough for it to seem snarky.

At his chime, Seonghwa furrowed his eyebrows at Yunho, "what's that supposed to mean?" Yunho stepped to Seonghwa while tilting his head as if challenging him, "Don't play dumb, hyung, I heard you last night. Here, you mentioned Yeosang calling (Y/N) names when you basically called her the same thing,"

Whilst the others were left confused, Seonghwa visibly froze. His demeanour changed to a nervous one.

"Yunho, what the fuck are you talking about?" Hongjoong asked.

Yunho looked to the side at Hongjoong casually, "I walked by when I was about to get water last night when I heard yelling from inside her room. Whatever they were talking about, I heard Seonghwa hyung yelling something about (Y/N) staying with guys other than her cousin. The implication was bad, I even heard (Y/N) crying,"

All eyes suddenly shifted to Seonghwa. "Hyung, you made her cry?" San asked, not able to completely believe that Seonghwa was capable of doing that to (Y/N).

Tension rose in the room and suddenly everyone was arguing with each other. All but Jongho who stayed by the sideline, watching the whole thing unfold between his older friends with disappointment in his eyes.

"What happened?" you asked him, appearing by his side out of nowhere.

Jongho sighed before crossing his arms, "They're blaming each other because you left again," he muttered. You frowned and furrowed your eyebrows, "But, I haven't left yet?"

At that, Jongho finally looked at you properly. His eyes widened as wide as they could go, "Oh, hey! You're still here!" He exclaimed loudly, capturing the attention of everyone who was bickering inside.

You stared at them weirdly, "Yeah? Why is that so surprising?"

Mingi stepped out towards you slowly, his hands reached out to grab yours in his softly, "W-we thought you had really left again," he told you, his voice broke from how glad he was.

But that relieved feeling was soon crushed when he heard your answer.

"Well, now I am. I was making sure of something and waiting for Haknyeon to come to pick me up. Since he's here now, I'm... Gonna go," you smiled at them gently. Despite that, there were clear indications that the smile you wore was one of a broken heart.

Seonghwa couldn't help but let his words slip without thinking properly, "You're going back with him and his friends?" to which Yunho immediately nudged him hard on his stomach.

You turn to look at Seonghwa directly. You shook your head at him before answering, "No, I'm not going back to his apartment. Wouldn't be right for me and wouldn't be fair to him. He's just escorting me to my old dorm where I will be staying," you told him. Seonghwa immediately gulped after hearing your answer. He felt bad for jumping to that conclusion, especially after you told him where you were going.

At this point, San had tears brimming in his eyes, blurring his vision, "Wh-why are you going again, (Y/N)? You just got back," he asked as he walked closer to you.

Seeing his tears, you couldn't help but get emotional as well. you let one hand off of Mingi's grasp to cup San's cheek, rubbing it gently with your thumb, "I just have to, Sannie, I'm sorry. I... Just came back up here to tell Mingi and Jongho directly that I'm gonna go now,"

Wooyoung pushed people away to charge directly at you, "Only Mingi and Jongho? That's it? The rest of us didn't even deserve your goodbyes?" there was no resentment in his voice, you noticed. His eyes, however, showed much sorrow.

You sighed and shrugged at him, "With how things went last night, I don't even know if you all wanted to see me again, that's why I tried making my escape as quickly and silently as possible,"

Hongjoong suddenly spoke up, "See, I don't think you wanna leave at all, because if you do, you wouldn't tell us at all and just leave,"

The way he said it set something off in you. Your previous calm demeanour switched within mere milliseconds as you answered Hongjoong bitterly, "of course I don't wanna leave. You think this is easy on me?"

Without realizing it, you slipped your hands off of Mingi's grasp and San's cheek. The others who were in the way moved to the side to let you face Hongjoong directly, slightly afraid of you, "You really think that I came back here just to leave the next day? If so, then not only that you're dead wrong, but you're also an asshole. Every single one of you is acting like I've only been playing around with you all, going back and forth as I please because I don't know what I want. You don't even know why I left. Maybe most of it was because I didn't tell you guys, but part of it was because neither of you even gave me the chance to even explain last night. All of you just turned your backs on me and walked away," you laughed bitterly.

Your words struck them deep. Because they were all true. You might have been the one who started the fight, but they were the ones who delivered the final blow. Not to mention they're male adults who should've been able to communicate and made better decisions. Lastly, there were eight of them and one of you, how was that fair?

The silence and the expression on their faces said a lot, you realized if you were to tell them everything, that was your chance.

So you took a deep breath and spilt everything to them.

You told them about the threat Sunhee gave you, the proof they had, and how they planned on ruining their futures. You told them about how you felt like you didn't have any choice and how you didn't want to make things worse so you just listen to them until you were able to think of something, you wanted to protect them. You also told them how paranoid they made you and how you almost went crazy from worrying over them whilst having to be worried over what those crazy bitches might do.

When you finished talking, you realized that the boys had had tears streaming down their faces. You could see their resolves wilting away and being replaced by regret and shame.

Without even saying anything, Wooyoung pulled you into his arms tightly. He cried, saying how sorry he was for how he acted last night and how he should've trusted you more. Yunho and San wrapped their arms around you too, despite the tears streaming down, they managed to utter how sorry they were for not doing anything. Soon, Hongjoong, Seonghwa, Mingi, and Jongho attached themselves to the growing group hug as well, wordlessly showing their remorse. Despite their lack of words, you understood them just fine.

At that moment, you felt safe, you felt relieved that you were finally able to tell them everything. Things finally seem like they will go back to normal.

Maybe except for one thing.

You lifted your face from where it was nestled in the crook of Wooyoung's neck to meet eyes with the one person who was still rooted in his position.

Yeosang immediately looked away, an attempt you assume was to cover up his own tears.

Though heartbroken that he seemed to still resent you, you took the current win and let yourself bask in the warmth the guys were giving you.

You promised yourself then and there that you wouldn't act so carelessly anymore.

At least not without letting them know.

taglist :

@raysanshine @peachy-maia @xuxiable @90s-belladonna @theclawofaraven @sanraes @sungiehan @felix-kithes @nycol-ie @superstarw99 @skkrtnawrskkrt @viv-atiny @the7thcrow @stfu-xeena @laurademaury @multihoe-net @daisyhwa @scoupshushushu @whyisquill @bikiniholic @yunhorights @exfolitae @simplewonderland @verycooldog2 @perfectlysane24 @hannahdinse8 @tannie13 @aka-minhyuk-kun @phebeedee @em0yunho @marsophilia @donghyuckanti27 @se-onghwa @malewife-supremacy @hyunsukream @elijahbabyb @taejichafe @alliecoady98 @rdiamondbts2727 @hakuna-matata-ya @ohmy-fandoms @ateezminonspace @stray-bi-kids @imaaroy @fashi0nablee @rindomo @violetwinters @nabihwa @linhyyboo12 @mirror-juliet @bestboiericsohn @hwahwaseong

[ilikekidsshows]

One thing that pisses me off not just about the miraculous fandom but modern fandoms is fans inability to consume long overarching stories.

Like so many people are complaining about how long the reveal is taking or why haven't certain characters outgrown this trait yet or why is this character arc botched or abandoned. Like guys we just got the confirmation this show will be 7 seasons long PLUS like 3 tv specials. We're only roughly halfway through the series.

Once the reveal happens half the tension in the show is gone! I'm not saying leave the reveal till season 7 and make us wait 9 years this isn't HIMYM but miraculous is not a fast paced story. It's a long haul story. I just wish more fans would be patient. Miraculous is in the extremely fortunate and rare position that it will have a conclusive end and not be suddenly cancelled. That was and still is a huge problem for shows and cartoons with dedicated fans but networks pull the plug for stupid ass reasons.

So miraculous fans please chill the fuck out on things not resolving right away. We still have 78+ episodes plus the tv specials. If we get the end to certain things now it'll be so boring.

I think the concept of Instant Gratification describes the issue with many modern fandoms today. I hate to sound like I'm anti-technology, but the constant stream of quick and short bursts of entertainment allowed by the information age has made people more impatient. It's not about waiting for the climax to get a deeper sense of satisfaction, it's about getting that instant gratification right this instant. It's why one-shot fanfics are all over the place, when multi-chapter stories used to be just as common and popular, if not even more so, and it’s also why people are less willing to read a fic that’s still a work in progress. It's why people refuse to watch Youtube video essays even as they leave comments on the topic based on the title and thumbnail alone because, while they couldn't be assed to watch a 20-minute video (let alone an hour long one), they sure can spend that time calling the Youtuber names and making arguments the video actually already refutes. It's why a lot of online arguments happen only because one party read nothing but the first and maybe the last paragraph of someone's post and skipped all the explanation for their point of view (if I've ignored an counter argument for one of my posts, it was either because I missed it or because said counter argument did this. I have attention deficit issues so I do genuinely forget responses sometimes, but I'm also not writing a second essay for someone who's proven to me they won't read it).

Of course, it's only by constantly consuming only fast-paced content that you can become this impatient. People have different ideas about stories based on what stories they have encountered in the past.

Another thing that influences the Miraculous fandom in particular is that, while I love to show off exactly how much Miraculous has done to build up the overarching plotlines, Miraculous isn't really a show that's about a single story. It's easy to understand why people think it is one though: there's one main villain, we keep discovering more about the mythology, one of the main plot threads is the romantic relationship between the leads and singular episodes and plot elements tend to get payoff later. What is the purpose of a show if not to progress the story? Because the heroes aren't getting closer to defeating Gabriel or getting together, people think that the story isn't accomplishing anything.

I'll do a comparison to illustrate why these things aren't as clear-cut signs of a continuous storyline as people think. In the Spider-Man comics, you can pick any issue up and the chances are that the villain will be a part of Spider-Man's already established Rogues Gallery, who's back for more after who knows how many defeats, and those past defeats might even get referenced in callbacks to previous issues. It's also very possible that Peter and Mary Jane's relationship is the central focus with them not being together yet, having relationship problems or even having broken up (in really old issues the girl might be Gwen Stacy and short-term options have also always been available for romantic entanglements). Does this mean Spider-Man is a continuous story where the only point is that all the villains get put away for good and Peter and MJ live happily ever after? No, it doesn't. Spider-Man is designed to go on indefinitely, so there's no clear ending point. So, what is the point of Spider-Man then, if there is no Ending?

It used to be the single issue, because comic books used to have every issue be a stand-alone story about the hero and their supportive cast. These days it's more every three-to-six issues, because superhero comics are written to have short story arcs that can then be collected into trade paperbacks. A superhero series is not a single story; it's a series that functions as a story engine, meaning the series can generate several shorter stories where the hero helps fix a problem or solve a mystery.

In the superhero genre a villain will never get killed off or removed from stories permanently as long as the writers think they can still come up with stories to tell about them. The hero's romantic life will never be completely smooth sailing unless the writer is using other things to ramp up the stakes. Everything always allows for there to be another adventure.

I think the huge success of Avatar: the Last Airbender made people think that a series that is a single story is always superior to a series with multiple shorter plots. When I was liveblogging Sailor Moon, a viewer offered to give me a list of all the non-filler episodes because they genuinely thought I'd feel like I was wasting time on the show otherwise. This attitude is simply not based on fact. It's not fair to compare Miraculous Ladybug to Avatar, because they're both setting up to do completely different things. Miraculous Ladybug is trying to become a brand, like Batman or Spider-Man. It is part of the "Zag Heroes" lineup, a series of French-created superhero franchises to compete in the America-centric superhero market. This challenge is good for the genre, because Marvel and DC have started resembling each other more and more as these companies stew in their old ideas and copy everything that worked for the other one. The superhero genre needs new blood.

Also, Avatar: the Last Airbender first became popular by doing episodic plots for almost the entirety of the first season because it's actually not a wise choice to expect the audience to be willing to commit to a story that'll only give payoff later when working with an untested IP. Very often shows with longer story arcs start with the episodic format to hook people first, and sometimes the more linear plot is introduced specifically because the audience for the show is now expected to be both dedicated enough and older and capable of keeping up. Because, here's the thing: you can't expect little kids to remember every episode or even every character you've introduced in your show. I'm not sure if people are ready to hear that but I'm throwing it out there anyway. Kids are not dumb, they can understand more complex storylines, but many kids are still training their memory, so they might not remember the details of complex storylines that go on for too long.

This is why the news that Miraculous Ladybug's fourth season was going to have a recommended viewing order originally had me concerned. Miraculous is being branded for kids. The plot requiring too much skill in memorizing story details will make it less accessible to kids and might put those two additional seasons at risk. However, it seems that the "constantly changing status quo" concept of Truth, Lies and Gang of Secrets was a fluke and the evolution of the show is more subtle, so they might not be cutting the amount of episodes for those final seasons because the show is getting too complicated for kids to follow all the important details.

Regardless, Miraculous Ladybug being an adventure cartoon TV show instead of a comic book or a more cheaper-to-produce TV drama does mean that Miraculous Ladybug isn’t expected to go on for decades like a superhero comic or a soap opera. Because of this, it can have evolution and changes and even a planned ending. The show is expected to end at some point, even by the people making money off of it, mostly because making a cartoon like this indefinitely costs a lot of money, and kids’ adventure shows tend to see a decrease in returns if they go on for too long.

[angstyaches]

Ooooh you have a delicious writing style- it's so descriptive! I'm afraid I'm quite new so don't know your characters much yet, but if this scenario could fit I bet you'd write it amazingly! Perhaps Character A is down on their luck, longterm or short-term wise, and is walking through town, having not eaten since the morning prior. Suddenly a store window catches their eye, displaying all sorts of amazing baked goods or meat cuts, and they can't help but stare while their hunger pains have them wincing openly. Character B notices them staring before Character A even realises what they're doing.

Agh, what a beautiful prompt. I think this is actually the first hunger fic I've written on request, so thank you, anon! I hope it’s okay that I used fancy pizza; I really wanted to use Payton for this and pizza is one of the few foods they would genuinely go weak over.

Pre-Payton and Autumn Getting Together

CW: hunger, hunger pangs, stomach noises, mentions of character unable to afford (decent) food, stress, overwork (it's Payton, what did we expect?), food mention

___

Payton sighed as they felt the drizzle start to fall around them. They stepped under a deserted bus shelter and stared out, wondering if the rain was going to get worse before it cleared up.

It was a fitting end to the day – or rather, the week – they’d been having. They couldn’t wait to get home and take off the stifling shirt they’d worn to a job interview that morning and then worn all the way through their shift at the café. They just wanted soft clothes and their bed and maybe a podcast to fall asleep to.

It all seemed so far away still, their energy sapping by the second and leaving them stranded five minutes away from the tram stop. Their feet stopped moving, rooting them to the pale grey concrete.

A gorgeous smell turned their head. Frantic interview prep, snooty employers, and stuffy clothes all faded from Payton’s mind. They were stopped across the street from the city’s most expensive food store. Built into a complex from the late 1800s, it was the kind of place where a sandwich cost €12. The kind of place that sold imported goods and “foodstuffs”.

An elaborate window was positioned behind the delicatessen section of the shop, where a chef was artfully piecing together a pizza on top of a copper paddle while another sat in a brick oven. The smell of the crisping dough must have been piped out deliberately onto the street, to entice those with money to burn, and to tease those without.

Payton fell into the latter category lately. With all the time they’d been spending on interview prep and assignments, they’d been taking shorter shifts at the café. Rent was going to clean them out this month. Today’s shift hadn’t even been long enough to warrant a full lunch break; they’d only taken fifteen minutes, and had spent thirteen of them taking a nap at the break room table.

Only now did they feel the twists of hunger in their stomach, the shakiness in their legs. Payton didn’t even realise that they had edged closer to the bus stop so they could sit down on the bench, one hand resting on their belly. Their stomach hurt, and it really was no wonder when they thought about it.

The last thing they’d eaten had been a bowl of cereal at seven a.m., the same cereal they were planning to have for dinner when they got home.

Payton’s stomach groaned unhappily at the prospect, and Payton groaned too; I’m right there with you, they thought miserably, rubbing at their stomach and continuing to watch the pizza chef through the window.

They didn’t know how long they grimaced and gazed across the street before they were interrupted.

“Payton? Hi!”

Payton jumped, head snapping up to see who’d said their name, and their heart skipped a beat.

A navy polka-dot umbrella sat over her shoulder. She was wearing tight leggings and an oversized sweater, her shoulder-length hair thrown into a lazy side-bun. She was wearing no makeup and looked a little sweaty, like she was heading home from the gym or dance practice.

She was a sight to behold, as always, even as she fumbled with her umbrella.

“H-hey,” Payton stammered, stumbling to their feet and trying to appear as though they weren’t so light-headed they were seeing stars.

Autumn glanced across the street, her eyes lingering there for a moment. “Uh, you don’t take this bus, do you?”

“I – no,” Payton admitted, glancing at the timetable and list of stops. “I was just sitting. Long day. Spaced out a bit.”

“Yeah, I could see that,” Autumn said, glancing across the street again. She let out a little laugh, though she seemed to consider holding it in for a moment. “I thought you were going to start drooling.”

“What?”

“The fancy pizzas.”

Payton’s heart dropped. Their face was feeling hot under their bangs. “Oh, I, uh, I didn’t even realise I was… staring.”

“Don’t be embarrassed! I watch them all the time when I’m waiting for the bus,” Autumn laughed.

Payton still blushed deeply, since they’d had no reason to sit down at the bus stop except to stare through the shop window. They were suddenly hyper-aware of their hand resting on their belly. They felt their stomach quiver under their palm, a low growl working its way through.

“You doing okay?” Autumn sat down on the bench, nodding for Payton to join her. She didn’t seem to hear the complaint from Payton’s belly. “Feels like forever since we last talked.”

“Y-yeah, sure does,” Payton half-laughed. Their shaky legs and dizzy head were thankful for the relief as they sank back down, leaving what they hoped was a healthy number of inches between the two of them. “I’ve been, um… I’m okay? I think. And – and you?”

“I’m actually… I’m great,” Autumn grinned, tucking some hair behind her ear. “I, um, I just found out today that I’m going to be Audrey in Little Shop of Horrors.”

“Are you serious?” Payton smiled, their mood genuinely lifting a bit at the sight of Autumn’s proud, shy little smile.

They often envied her for her absolute passion for musicals and acting, since they were failing so spectacularly at finding their place in the film world, but right then Payton was happy just knowing she was happy.

“Yeah! I still can’t really believe it.”

“I can.” Payton extended a long arm to pull Autumn towards them. “You’re brilliant.”

“Agh – ew, P, you don’t want to hug me!” she laughed, pulling her shoulders up tightly. “I’m all sweaty and damp!”

“I don’t care!” Payton wrapped their arms around her and pulled her close, so that their cheeks were just inches apart. “Your news deserves a hug.”

Autumn gave a deep, happy sigh as she leaned into the hug, probably unaware of the fact that the contact was setting Payton’s heart racing. It almost felt selfish, holding her like this when they were clearly getting more out of it than she was. They went to remove their arms from her, their chest fluttering as she buried her face deeper in their shoulder and kept her arms firmly around their waist.

It was lovely.

And yet, for the first time in a while, Payton felt a pang of loneliness, their core aching with the knowledge that they couldn’t hold her like this all the time. Deep in their bones, Payton wanted to kiss her hair, tickle her sides, and whisper happy little declarations of affection in her ear.

They didn’t whisper anything to her, though. They didn’t say anything as they held her. But their empty stomach was still twisting itself into shapes, and it clearly didn’t get the memo on holding Autumn quietly. A sharp growl had Payton wincing and trying to clear their throat (to cover up the noise) all in the same breath.

“Whoa, is that your stomach?” Autumn asked, lifting her head from Payton’s shoulder.

Payton’s body stiffened. “It… might be.”

“Are you okay? You must be starving.”

“I’m… Yeah.” Payton swallowed hard, letting a hand rest on their belly again.

Autumn moved back to give them some space. She was staring like she expected an explanation, eyes wide and eyebrows furrowed. Payton’s stomach rumbled under their hand again, bringing a twist of pain, and they didn’t know if they wanted to laugh or to cry.

“I guess I haven’t been taking care of myself too well.” They flinched again at the crack in their own voice.

Lifting her umbrella from where it had been resting against her leg, Autumn got to her feet. “Come on.”

Payton looked up at her, blinking behind their bangs. Exhaustion weighted them to the bench. “Come on where?”

A little hum escaped Autumn’s throat as she jerked her head. Her umbrella popped open and she stepped out of the bus shelter. The rain pattered against the fabric, a little heavier than it had been before.

“We’re gonna go eat pizza. Not – not there,” she clarified, gesturing towards the expensive deli. “I was thinking top floor of the Greene Centre. They sell by the slice and it’s super cheap.”

Payton swallowed again, guilt piling itself on top of the embarrassment. They felt as though they’d somehow coerced Autumn into offering to buy dinner, and the thought made them physically shudder. They got to their feet and moved a little closer to Autumn so she could hear them.

“I probably still can’t afford it,” they mumbled, staring at the ground.

“It’ll be my treat today, okay? You can pay me back by letting me ramble about my show.”

Payton gave her a shaky smile. “Are you sure?”

“Hundred percent.” That shy smile crossed Autumn’s face again. “It’s gonna sound weird, but when I found out I got the part… You were the first person I wanted to tell, Payton.”

“I... Really?” As they chewed their lip, a deep rumble came from Payton’s tummy. They frowned and folded their arms around it, noticing how Autumn's gaze drifted towards it too.

"Come on, I can't listen to your poor belly complain anymore." She lifted her umbrella a little higher with one hand – Payton was a few inches taller than her – and stuck out her elbow for Payton to link their arm through hers. “Shall we go?”

[herstarburststories]

You Have A Home

Pairing: Sam Winchester x Reader

Summary: After a call from Y/N, Sam comes back town to help -- and brings Dean with him.

Requests: N°1 heyhey, could you do a Sam x reader where they went to college togehter and later meet again and they realise their feelings for eachother...xx + N°2: can you do a college sam headcanon with medicine student reader

A/N: This was fun! The monster here is mentioned in season 6, when the boys ask Bobby for advice on how to kill it. This is my first Samgirl long imagine, with Dean being the flirty he is. I wrote this almost one year ago, so it's more crude and I'm nervous to be posting it! And my piece for @cajunquandary 's 600 challenge, my prompt was monster of the week. Dividers by @talesmaniac89!

Dean's eyes remained on the road when the bitter statement left his body, tangled with a wry chuckle, “I can't believe you are still in touch with those people.”

“Those people?” Sam arched elbows, slightly skeptical by his brother's tone, “They were my friends, Dean.”

“Sammy, all our friends? Dead. They all die. Or worse.” He glanced at him for a moment, pursing his lips together. It might not be an easy assignment, but was part of the job. Sammy had tried to run away plenty times and always came back, when would he understand? “We don't get to have friends. You should've learned that.”

“They are not our friends, they are my friends. Also, they don't know about the hunting life, they aren't in harm.” Sammy hissed once the other locked his green eyes on the road again. Dean sighed, moving one hand away and up from the steering wheel in a rendition gesture.

“Whatever you say, man. I'm just warning you, this doesn't usually end up good for them.”

Sam scoffed, Dean could get on his nerves sometimes, “We saved many people that got to have a good life.”

“Yeah, but those people didn't know us before that. I told you when you left Stanford--”

“I didn't keep contact, okay!? I just... I just still have a phone that they have the number of. No social media, no calls on birthdays.” Nervously gesticulating, he added, “I know how to keep them safe, Dean.”

“So, old friend?” The eldest Winchester asked after the few minutes of silence that followed Sam's outburst, “Female old friend?”

“Yes. (Y/N) (Y/L/N).” Dean smirked, and Sam to rolled his eyes at his behavior, “Keep it in your pants.”

He'd let out a malicious laughter before turning on the radio, the first guitar sounds of AC/DC playing in the background.

“I think you'll be the one not keeping it, Sammy.”

“Hello?” The woman in nothing but a towel who had opened the door greeted them with a question, her brown eyes glaring at the two men with clear confusion.

Dean had no shame to check her out, innerly celebrating that she was still wet from her shower. Perhaps visiting Sam's friends wasn't that big mistake. “Hey, you.”

She grimaced at Dean for two seconds before turning her attention to Sam again, sudden recognition written on her face.

“Sam? Sam Winchester?” He nodded, smiling that light-hearted boyish grin at her. Not caring about her dressings, she just threw herself at Sammy, hugging him tightly. “I missed you!” She pulled away only to hit his shoulder. Her short stature didn't match Sam's, but he'd still make a grimace at her attempt of slap. “Why didn't you call? God, your hair grew a lot. Listen, I have some scissors.”

“Tried that, didn't work.” Dean interrupted their reencounter, trying to get in the conversation. An usual lopsided grin on his face, “Dean Winchester, Sam's brother.”

“Layla, Sam's friend.” She gave him a friendly smile in return, opening space for them to pass through the door before closing it, “Come in, I need to change in clothes.”

“I wouldn't even dream of that. Seriously.”

Layla would just wiggle one of her brows at Dean's comments, not impressed by it, “Ele é sempre assim? (Is he always like this?)”

Thankfully, Sam still remembered a bit of his friend's native language. He just chuckled, managing to apologize for Dean's typical Dean behavior, “Unfortunately. Sinto muito. (I'm sorry)”

“(Y/N) is in the kitchen. I'll be right back.” Her accent was thicking stronger duo the comfortability around Sam. Excusing herself, the caramel skinned girl leaded upstairs.

“What did she say?” Dean asked, side glancing at the path Layla had just gone on, not even sure of which language she'd just spoken, much less what was said. Sammy didn't bother replying, satisfied to grin at his obvxion brother. “Dude, come on!”

“Sam!” A well-known voice filled the room as the image of (Y/N) appeared in front of them, dressing your loyal cook's avental. You didn't think twice before jumping on Sam. “I missed you, giant!”

He, like always, caught you with a light-hearted laughter, “I missed you too, cupcake.” You two spent a few moments like this, enjoying each other's warm and long lost touch, until Dean cleared his throat. You finally went back to the ground, embarrassed by having a stranger to see that level of intimacy between you and Sam, “This is Dean, my--”

“Handsome brother. Hello, cupcake.” Dean was so going to tease Sam for the rest of his life for it.

“You really live up for Sam's description.” You giggled, heading towards the kitchen “Come in, I'm baking.”

“So, you and Layla still live together?”

“Most of the time, yes. You know how she is, comes and goes. Never wanted to stay in a place for too long and got a job that supported that.” The boys followed you, Dean examining the kitchen and trying to discover what you were cooking through the smell, while Sam couldn't take his eyes on you, “Apparently, just like you.”

Even though your back was facing them as you checked the food, the bite didn't pass unnoticed, “I had to leave, (Y/N)”

“I understand that, Sam. But you never called or texted. It was like I--” You quickly corrected yourself, “We never existed for you.”

“It's not like that.” Sam sighed, how could he justify? He knew you wouldn't buy a simple excuse. You were smart, and knew him too well to swallow a 'I went on a trip with my brother and just decided that college wasn't my deal' and leave it for that.

“I'm here!” Layla declared, arriving into the room with an excited smile, it was good to have the gang back together. Although, the tangible tension almost made her go back to the shower, “Am I interrupting something?”

“A sitcom DR.” Dean answered with sarcasm, spreading his figure on the chair when you turned around with an apple pie in your hands “What about we talk about the ca-- Is this pie?”

“We heard a scream followed by a loud roar and (Y/N) stayed near the camping part because there was still a signal and I went looking for who it was. When I got there, the thing ran away. Jorge's body... No human did that. His chest was cracked open irregularly, as if it was done by an animal and his heart looked weird. Like it was squeezed and drawn on up somehow?”

“We got a Samia.” Dean stated, relaxing on his spot. Some sault, rosemary and fire would do the job just fine, “Let me guess, it left a clawn near the body or inside it?”

Layla nodded, “Right in the chest or what lasted of it.”

“Are you okay? Finding the body in that state.” A comprehensive manner englobed Sam's question, whom noticed the normality with his friend described finding a shattered body.

“Just some guts.” She shrugged, a grimace was all the reaction they'd get. Crying wouldn't help, neither being terrorized as they expected her too. “I've seen Grey's Anatomy enough not to care about it.”

“Well, I'm literally a medicine student and I am still not okay with that. Especially after you made me go and check the body.” You argued, glaring at your best friend who'd only roll her eyes in response.

“I needed a professional to say if he was dead or not!”

“You need a therapist.”

Dean got up, looking straight at Layla. Time to play the hero in shining armor, “Don't worry with that, we will take care of it.”

Frowning, you were the one to respond, “Do you work for the police now or?”

“Are implying that we investigate it by ourselves?” Your best friend added.

Dean couldn't believe his brother. How the fuck did he let them get inside without saying they didn't know about the hunting business? It was a luck shot that they didn't think much when he said Samia.

“Nope. Not you two. We will do it.” The blonde one said, pointing at them with a smirk.

“I agree, we will do it.” Layla replied, matching his taunt smile.

“Sam, I'm not letting you and your brother do it by yourself. Jorge was my professor, I knew him. Besides, we found the body.” You got on your feet and crossed your arms, waiting for a response. Sam always had a sort of hero complex, ready to help no matter what, but there was no way you'd be letting him go into danger with his brother. Getting in your dormitory to kill a cockroach back then or facing an idiot during a bar fight to protect one of your friends was something, but this? They were talking about looking for an assassin. What if something happened to him? You were the one who called. All on you. The thought of Sam getting hurt for any reason was unbearable, but because of you? You weren't willing to do that.

“You would be in danger, (Y/N). You both.” He tried to explain, internally hoping you'd accept his reasoning and let it go. Sam didn't want you to become one of the friends who knew about this life, you deserve more. He already lost one woman he loved in this city, he couldn't lose another.

You huffed in frustration, “Just like you will!” 

“It's different.” As he was terrified of, you insisted. Arms crossed still and eyes locked with his, determined to get something from him. Sam was smart enough to know that you would keep it going. Perhaps he could give you a short explanation, “Me and my brother, we are used to this. We hunt things like that.”

Layla tilted her head to the side. The way Sam talked remembered her of animal hunting, although she highly doubted that was the case, “Little more explanation?'”

“Monsters are real. Vampires, werewolves, spirits. The list goes on. Call us crazy. Roll the credits.” Sarcasm saltered every word of Dean's as he gestured up and down with a cocky smile. Everyone glared at him, a special furious look from his brother, “What? I thought they knew what we did and that's why she called.”

“Sam?” Your voice was fragile when you said his name, a demonstration that you would believe him through the fear of the truth, but that he had to say it.

Sam laid his hazel eyes on you. God, how he wished he didn't have to confirm anything, to break your vision of world so abruptly, “Dean is right. Supernatural things are real. I know it sounds--”

“Unbelievable? Problematic? Scary?”

“Yeah, all of them.” Sam offered you a humorless smile, then holding your hand the way he used to when you were nervous about an exam, “But I wouldn't lie to you, cupcake.”

The silence was broken by Layla opening a bottle of Whiskey, pouring them for the three people in the room besides herself. You rolled your eyes at your best friend, while Sam wore a tiny smile and Dean was astonished.

Noticing the eyes glued, the latina just shrugged “What? If you are gonna tell me that Dracula is real and you are a sort of Buffy's apprentice, then we will need some alcohol.”

“Why did you call?” Sammy asked, his brows knotted together, mouth slight open as he waited for your response. “You didn't know what I did. And he wasn't my professor at Stanford. Then why did you call, (Y/N)?”

You could make up a hundred excuses. Lie and say he was the one friend besides Layla that you had somehow a way to get to. Appeal to the excuse of 'I felt something weird about the death and you said I should call if I ever had a problem of any kind'. But for as much as you felt horrible for using a death as a pretext for calling him, that was partially the truth. You already had put yourself into a mess of monsters and a drained heart, it couldn't be scarier than being honest to Sam and to yourself.

At least, you hoped so. But your heart was rushing like when you saw Jorge's body. Jesus, when did love become so morbid?

You took a deep breath, oxygen barely achieving your lungs, and then started to talk.

“I wanted to call you the minute that you left, Sam. I almost did a million times.” You answered, looking down at the bottle of a sort of plant that he was putting in a dark green bag. “I thought about what you could be doing, what was so important that you couldn't send me a message. But you just didn't want to call, I guess.”

“I wanted to call, of course I did.” You scoffed at his statement, looking up to match his eyes, “(Y/N), I'm serious.”

“You didn't even come to Jess' funeral, Sam. Layla said that maybe you needed to leave to clear your mind, that was too much to deal with. But I was so worried, and sad and confused and I wanted to talk to you because you would understand, you always did. About anything. And I wanted to give you some sort of comfort, but--” You lifted your hands and shrugged your shoulder, a broken chuckle leaving your body. “But you weren't here.”

“You stopped leaving messages after two weeks. Calling was gone when it made a moth.” You sniffed. Sam's lips curved into a pure, cautelous grin. God, he was always so sweet. “The emails took two months.”

“You were never good with dates. I gave you a calendar in your freshman week.” Your teeth met your lower lip. He didn't answer, only nodding at your affirmation, omitting the fact that he still had the calendar between latin books and pieces of newspapers, “Yet, you remember all of it.”

Sam leaned forward, holding your hand with all the delicacy you would expect from a sculptor. It had been too long since he hugged you, and his touch made all your skin tickle with warmth. “I missed you too, (Y/N). I thought about you all those years.”

“So, Cupcake?”

"Let's focus on the case, Dean."

“Then you can go back and eat your cupcake?” He remarked with a grin. His brother just huffed, pointing the flashlight through the trees, “So, Layla…”

Sam rolled his eyes, like he usually did when Dean started being too Dean for his liking, “Dean. The case.”

Before he could make another teaseful comment, a roar invaded their audition. The hunters gave each other a quick glance before heading towards the direction of the noise.

Shaking the salt and rosemary mixture in his hands, Dean smirked, “That's it. Time to shine, cupcake.”

“I have to admit. Being patched up by a doctor is better than by Dean.”

A surprised, half relieved laughter came out your body as you finished another stitch on Sam's arm. That boy was unbelievable; openly talking and making jokes about his brother, who was also being patched up by your best friend in company of a bottle of whiskey, while he spoke about Layla's name being a rock song. You were working on a large wound on his shoulder-- which you were sure that was full of dirt from the forest.

Medicine student, but I'll take that complement.” You winked at him, gaining a soft grin from Sammy, “I was expecting more blo-- Why are you smiling? I'm touching a recent wound. It doesn't look dangerous, but I'm sure it is supposed to hurt. A lot.”

Sam's answer came out easily, the bare, vulnerable truth: “I'm happy you are here.”

You looked at him, his hair longer than before, but the soft simper remained on his face. You bit your lip to hold a giggle; her heart dared to hope. What he expected when he said things like this? A quiet contentment spread through his expression while he watched your reaction.

“You should have come home sooner.” 

His mouth formed a line, “I don't have a home, (Y/N). It's just Dean, me and the road now.”

“No, Sam.” Shaking your head lightly, you intertwined your fingers with his. His life was dangerous, you couldn't afford the luxury of waiting even more to share what you had finally admitted to yourself in the moment he walked through the door. It didn't seem like the easiest, simpler situation. But the only hard thing you couldn’t go through was to be away from Sam Winchester. He lingered on you for years, you were done letting him run away. It was time to hold his hand and walk together. “You should've come home sooner. To me.”

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[pipipinyyy]

Explaining why I have added every song in my entire and very long Niragi playlist because I can and because over analyzing him is my passion (I usually update it from time to time but I'll do it with the current songs)

Completely self indulgent post, but I decided to share to feed my fellow Niragi stans (*˙︶˙*)☆*°

This is entirely based on my view of the songs and how I interpret them while thinking about Niragi. I'm aware that most of them have entirely different meanings, this is just for fun :) (Also sorry if my explanations don't make much sense, English is not my first language and I might make mistakes when trying to put my feelings and thoughts into words)

This may contain manga/s2 spoilers

Hayloft-Mother Mother: Vibes

Criminal-Britney Spears: The whole song describes him ("he is a sucker with a gun") and the fandom's obsession ("mama I'm in love with a criminal")

Daddy Issues-The Neighborhood: I feel like he would act like this, using the most vulnerable spots to pick on someone ("cry little girl, nobody does it like you do")

Psycho-Jin Dogg, OVER KILL: Vibes

Riot-Hollywood Undead: He'd definitely start a riot like he did in the 10 of hearts, burning and destroying anything that crosses his path

Bitches-Mindless Self Indulgence: He most likely thinks he's a total fuckboy and popular with girls since he can get almost anything he wants out of scarying people

Baby's on Fire-Die Antwoord: Vibes

Insane in the Brain-Cypress Hill: This man is being consumed by his own way of protecting himself

Wolf in Sheep's Clothing-Set It Off: Based on how he feels towards the people who hurt him in the past ("Listen, mark my words, one day, you will pay" "You've always been a huge piece of shit, if I could kill you, I would" "Karma is gonna come collect your debt")

Death no more-IC3PEAK: Vibes

Gasoline-I Prevail: Sort of similar to Riot, ("So burn it all down, burn it all down, I don't give a fuck")

Toxic-Britney Spears: The whole fandom knows how much of a piece of shit this dude can be, but we still find ourselves liking/enjoying his character (to an extent), a toxic addiction

Nice Guy-GRLwood: As much as I love this man, he'd use the "I'm a nice guy c'mon" card just to fuck. If he wants to, he'll get it, if he doesn't, he'll most likely get mad

Dernière danse-Indila: Vibes

TRRST-IC3PEAK: Mostly vibes, I kinda see this song as how he felt the first time he killed someone on purpose inside the borderlands ("mama they say I'm a terrorist, I did nothing wrong but I got on the blacklist")

Saint Bernard-Lincoln: Vibes

Nowhere To Run-Stegosaurus Rex: Being with him at the Beach would either be ignoring each other completely or a game of tag, no inbetween. If this man wants to kill you, he'll get his fun time out of it as well ("You're gonna die, I'm gonna kill you")

The House of Wolves-Bring Me The Horizon: Based on how he sees life after being consumed by his current mental state ("Show me a sign, show me a reason to give a solitary fuck about your god damn beliefs" "What you call faith, I call a sorry excuse")

Smells Blood-Kensuke Ushio: Vibes

SIU-Maretu: Similar to Daddy Issues, don't expect this man to be a therapist. If he sees anyone crying or panicking in or outside a game, he'd most likely tell them to suck it up, just like this song.

Judgement-Kensuke Ushio: Vibes

MONSTER ENERGY GUN!-KevinKempt: Vibes + He for sure has an energy drink addiction, specially pre-borderlands

HURT-1 800 PAIN: Vibes

Fear Is The Mind Killer-Zheani: Vibes

I Bet on Losing Dogs: Based on how I know Niragi is toxic, and most likely unsaveable of his deteriorating mental state, but I still have him as my biggest comfort character ("I bet on losing dogs, I know they're losing and I'll pay for my place")

Emo Boy-Ayesha Erotica: He's been in an emo phase (and maybe still is), the lyrics are pretty self explanatory, they describe us Niragi simps perfecrly ("come on fuck me emo boy")

Crybaby-Destroy Boys: Vibes

The Fox's Wedding-MASA Works DESIGEN: Vibes

You're a useless child-Kikuo: We don't know much about his past, but judging by the unstoppable bullying he's suffered, his parents didn't care about him, or were straight up absent. He's been insulted by pretty much everyone in his past to the point of believing it and telling those things to himself ("You're a useless child, the most useless child in this world" "Drool in snot, dandruff, shit and piss" "I'm a useless child" "Nobody will save me" "I'm a lonely kid")

Take A Slice-Glass Animals: Vibes

Fighting With The Melody-Jimmy Urine: Vibes

Comics-Caravan Palace: Vibes

Rhinestone Eyes-Gorillaz: Vibes

Butch 4 Butch-Rio Romero: Mostly vibes, sort of how I think the most "peacefull" moments in a relationship with him would feel like, kind of bittersweet feeling

Suki Suki Daisuki-Jun Togawa: Yandere Niragi. If he's interested in someone, he'd go through an obsessive phase, most likely forcing the other person to "love" him. This man is so confused about the feeling of love that he's unable to tell when he loves someone or when he's obsessed with them due to his lack of attention ("Like you, like you, I love you. Say you love me or I'll kill you")

:(-The Garden: Vibes

Kitty City-Cyriak Harris: Vibes

Blood-My Chemical Romance: If Niragi went to a therapist, he'd act like this song, with his signature cocky and sarcastic personality (at least before he gets better) ("I can't control myself because I don't know how" "They can fix me proper with a bit of luck" "I'm the kind of human wreckage that you love")

A Mask of My Own Face-Lemon Demon: He feels like he needs to protect himself or else he will get hurt inside the borderlands by others again. He uses another personality, a completely ruthless one, even if he doesn't like it and hates himself for it, he doesn't see another way to deal with his fear, allowing his "new self" to consume himself. ("I'd wear that mask of my own face" "I look into my eyeholes and what do I see? A handsome motherfucker motherfucking looking back at me")

I'm a Murderer-Freddie Dredd: Mostly vibes ("I'm a motherfucking murderer")

'Cause I'm a Liar-Mcki Robyns-P: He would lie just for fun even in serious situations. If he needs to manipulate someone to survive, he'll do it his way, after all, he doesn't care anymore, he just seeks for excitement. ("Without emotion, without devotion. It's much easier to fake something happy")

I Disagree-Poppy: I don't know exactly how to describe it, but I feel like this is how he sees and feels the world and those around him, feeling misunderstood and going his own way ("If only all of you could see the world I see, then maybe everyone could live in harmony")

Personal Jesus-Mindless Self Indulgence: He has a superiority complex, that's for sure. I don't think he sees himself as a god, but I see him joking about it

Rainbow Factory-GLAZE, WoodenToaster: Vibes

Frontier Psychiatrist-The Avalanches: I kinda see this as Aguni taking the role of Niragi's "father figure" inside the borderlands, realizing he's turning insane and is unable to control him ("That boy needs therapy")

Hate it. Hate it. "JIGAHIDAI!"-WADATAKEAKI Kurage P: Jealousy. I can see it either in a pre-borderland situation where he hates the popular students in school, or inside the borderlands hating both Chishiya and Arisu. Jealousy takes over him constructing a big ego, causing himself to develop his superiority complex ("You see, I hate that popular girl!" "Does she think I don't notice? How she looks at me as if I'm trash" "I want to be praised" "I'm different from you all, I have my own ego! I'm not a side character" "I have zero common sense. I'm special")

Villain-Stella Jang: He knows damn well he's a villain, that's his goal after all, but what if someone took his point of view? wouldn't the villains be all of those who hurted him in the first place? ("We all pretend to be the heroes on the good side, but what if we are the villains on the other")

Violent-carolesdaughter: This is how I view an argument inside a relationship with Niragi. He's used to violence, to cause fear, and getting what he wants, so being in a healthy relationship would require a lot of patience and strenght. While he's getting better and suppressing those violent actions, there will be times where he accidentally uses violence or threatens the other person unintentionally, mostly hurting himself and his partner psychologically. The lyrics change between both points of view ("Don't make me get violent, I want my ring back baby that's a diamond" "She knows I'm a wreck" "I gave you all my trust and I told you just don't break it")

Hey Bunny-Baby Bugs: Based on how I think it would feel to partner up with him inside the borderlands and catching feelings for him while knowing the huge mess he is ("Hey bunny, what's with those evil eyes?" "Hey bunny, what the hell is wrong with us?" "Hey bunny, what if I loose you too? If I become the monster, together we can always be blue")

Kokoronashi-majiko: I'm pretty sure Niragi isn't able to see himself as someone able to love, even if he doesn't want to be alone (just like when he confesses this feeling while fighting with Chishiya and Arisu). If someone truly loved him and was willing to not letting him go, it would hurt. He can't see himself as someone who can love or be loved, so he can't accept the love he's seeking for in case that turns him "weaker" making his true self confront with the protective mean personality he's created. He could learn how to accept it, so he might want the other person to stay in the end, but it wouldn't be easy for him to accept it ("It's awful, I'd rather you destroy my body, tear it to sheds, do as you please" "No matter how much I'm loved by you, my heart is just one" "I don't know this, don't leave me alone")

Nightmare Parade-FAKE TYPE.: Vibes

Slipping Through My Fingers-Meryl Streep, Amanda Seyfried: Niragi seeing himself loosing his young, gentle and caring personality due to his fear, being unable to control what's happening inside, nostalgia and sadness kicking in ("The feeling that I'm loosing her forever" "That funny little girl" "Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture and save it from the funny tricks of time")

Kuroneko No Tango-Pink Martini, The Von Trapps: Vibes

YKWIM?-Yot Club: Him confroting his feelings of loneliness when he's left alone with his thoughts ("It feels like I care too much when I'm alone, oh no")

Romantic Lover-Eyedress: Just appreciating his physical appearance ("She's a killer, I love her features")

Wrecking Ball-Mother Mother: Based on how he sees himself as someone who needs to destroy everything in a way or another in order to be powerful + the fun he has with it ("Call me a reckless wrecking ball" "Let's break it just because we can")

Edge-Rezz: Vibes

Freaks-Surf Curse: Again, confronting feelings when loving someone, but not in such a painful as Kokoronashi ("I need a place to stay where I can cover up my face" "Don't cry, I'm just a freak")

Little Bit-Lykke Li: Vibes

6up 5oh Cop-Out (Pro/Con)-Will Wood and the Tapeworms: Vibes

PHONKY TOWN-PlayaPhonk: Vibes

I WANNA BE YOUR SLAVE-Måneskin: Freaky time. He would absolutely love this song, definitely his type of thing ("You could be the beauty and I could be the monster" "I wanna touch your body so fucking electric" "I wanna make you hungry, then I wanna feed you")

#BrooklynBloodPop!-SyKo: Vibes

A Cold Freezin' Night-The Books: Vibes

A Pearl-Mitski: My most favorite song to associate with Niragi. Represents his evolution as a character. Creating an scenario where he is loved by someone,he rejects it at first, acting tough ("I don't want your touch") and then proceeds to explain why ("It's just that I fell in love with a war, nobody told me it ended" "it left a pearl in my hand and I roll it around every night just to watch it glow") the war being the borderlands and his new personality, he loved it, but nobody drew a line and it's getting out of hand. The pearl is the feeling of power, the one he has to remember when feeling weak just to feel something. At the end of the song it changes to ("Sorry I can't take your touch"), realizing that he wants love, but he's not able to take it or else he'll become the Niragi from the past

Problematic-Bo Burnham: Him acknowledging his problematic actions but not wanting to apologize because he doesn't feel the need to. He knows he's done bad things but he is going to laugh at it and be a sarcastic mf about it

First Love/Late Spring-Mitski: Similar to Kokoronashi, he wouldn't be able to accept love and how it makes him feel. He would think that he prefers for everyone to hate him and be lonely instead of sacrificing his tougher side. Also talks about how he's grown way too quickly for him to understand feelings properly ("So please hurry leave me, I can't breathe, please don't say you love me" "One word from you and I would jump out of this ledge I'm on baby" "I was so young when I behaved 25, yet now I find I've grown into a tough child"

The Other Side Of Paradise-Glass Animals: Vibes

Bodybag-Chloe Moriondo: How I feel about liking his character, confronting feelings basically ("Don't know if I hate you or if I wanna date you" "I don't wanna like you, I just wanna tie you up, then keep you in a cage and watch you sleep for ages"

Get Into It (Yuh)-Doja Cat: Vibes

Psycho Killer-2005 Remaster- Talking Heads: Vibes

HOT DEMON B!TCHES NEAR U!!!-CORPSE, Night Lovell: Vibes

INFERNO-Sub Urban, Bella Poarch: Again, another song that describes him pretty well ("Baby I'm the reason why hell's so hot" "Terribly like terrible, she's a villain" "Think I'm getting butterflies but it's really something telling me to run away")

Bad Morning-Omori: Vibes

Trouble Brewing: Vibes

Dueles Tan Bien-Bruses: Another song about my confronting feelings with this man ("You know what? You taste better than alcohol to me. You know that and you've got control" "Because you hurt, and you hurt so good that I don't know what to do")

And that's it!! This took me the whole day to write but it makes me very happy to be able to share it :)

I've you've read the entire thing, hope you enjoyed the character analysis! ლ(◞‿◟ლ)

[stargazer-sims]

Journal Entry #24 (part one)

Yuri

Complacency is dangerous.

I'm sorry to say, this week I've learned that lesson the hard way. More than sorry, in fact. I bitterly regret that, yet again, I failed to see something that should have been obvious because I was so wrapped up in the illusion of my perfect little life. That's my weakness. I know it now, and I know I have to change, not just for myself but for Victor, too.

The problem is, I think I'm scared of the real world. The one I've been believing in is so much better. In that one, there's always someone to take care of me, shower me with affection, protect me and shelter me from everything that's bad. But, in the real world, there’s pain and stress and complex interpersonal relationships, and no heroes who swoop in to save the day and create a happy ending. Even the strongest people are fallible. Even the ones who love us most can still hurt us. Even the ones we feel safest with can't protect us from everything.Unfortunately for me, I’ve often forgotten those truths, or chosen to overlook them because they were too hard to face.

All I’ve ever wanted is to be happy and safe. Until I met Victor, I didn’t know what happiness or safety felt like, and once I understood how good it was not to be sad and afraid all the time, I never wanted to experience anything that challenged or scared me ever again. I was sure I’d found a willing protector in Victor, and I’d selfishly placed all the burden of responsibility for my happiness and safety on him, and took very little on myself. Worse, I don’t think I’ve ever taken nearly enough responsibility for his happiness, much less my own.

That position is unsustainable, and I wish I would’ve figured it out sooner.

If I could rewind time and go back to last Wednesday morning, I would, and I’d make different choices. The first thing I would do on the second pass would be to insist that Victor call in sick from work. We might’ve avoided a lot of trouble if he’d stayed home. I might not have learned anything in that case, but at least no one would’ve gotten hurt.

Victor hadn't been feeling well when he woke up on Wednesday morning. I may actually have realized he was getting sick before he did, because he was coughing through the night and it woke me up. As I was trying to get back to sleep, I noticed his breathing sounded different than normal, too. Most people might not even pay attention to that, but I'm ill so often myself that I think I've developed some sort of hyper-vigilance for signs of illness in others.

Anyway, I'd actually expected him to stay home from work on Wednesday. To my surprise, he didn't. He did stay home on Thursday and Friday, though, and as much as I dislike not being close to him, we mostly avoided each other in the hope that it’d lessen my chances of catching his cold. Maybe that’s something I’d want us to do differently if given a second chance as well.

On Saturday morning, I answered my phone to a woman who introduced herself as Tomiko and said she's Victor's boss. The fitness center is open seven days a week, but Victor only works from Tuesday to Friday, so I was a caught little off guard by the call. I don't know why, but for some reason, I'd assumed he and his supervisor would work the same shift.

"I tried calling Victor's phone, but he isn't answering," Tomiko said. "This number was listed as his emergency contact."

"Yes," I said. "I'm Yuri, his spouse."

I confess, I liked saying that. It required less explanation than ‘soulmate’ and seemed to carry more power, too. We’ll always be soulmates, but in certain circumstances, following the path of least resistance is what’s called for.

"Well, I guess you're best placed to know when he intends to come back to work," Tomiko said. "That's what I'm calling about."

"I'll have to get him to call you," I told her. "Honestly, I'm not sure when he'll be ready either. Hopefully by Tuesday, though.”

Tomiko and I chatted for a couple of minutes, and she gave me some instructions to pass along to Victor.

“I hope he gets well soon,” she said. “Everyone at the center misses him.”

“I’ll let him know,” I said. We exchanged goodbyes, and hung up.

After getting off the phone with Tomiko, I went to Victor's room to check on him. I hadn’t been in his room more than twice since Wednesday evening. It felt a little weird, simply walking in, even though that’s what we both typically do with each other’s rooms. As I crossed the threshold, I wondered if I should have knocked.

The first thing I noticed was that he had his normal colour back, not pale like he’d been on Wednesday, and not flushed with fever like he’d been overnight on Thursday.

His eyes were closed, but I could tell he wasn’t asleep. I knelt beside the bed, and touched his arm. "Hey," I said. "It's almost ten o'clock."

It took him a second to acknowledge me, but finally he said, "Okay."

"You're looking much better," I said. "How are you feeling?"

He made a sound that was like the vocal equivalent of a shrug. "I don't know."

"Do you feel like getting up?"

“No,” he said.

“Do you want some tea, or something to eat?”

“No.”

"Your boss called," I told him.

"Uh-huh."

"She wants to know if you're still sick. She says if you're not going to be back by the time your shift starts on Tuesday, you'll need a doctor's note."

"Okay."

"So, do you want me to take you to the doctor, or do you think you'll be better after the weekend?"

"I'm not going to the stupid doctor," he said testily. "I probably won't be better, but if my boss wants me at work on Tuesday, I'll be there."

"If you're not better, she's not expecting you back," I said. I reached out to caress his cheek. "It’s okay. I can take you to the clinic. It'll be—"

He nudged my hand away from his face. "Yuri, I said I'm not going to the doctor," he snapped. "How many times do I have to say it?"

His tone was like a slap. Victor had never spoken to me like that before, and the shock and hurt I felt seemed almost physical. I was willing to accept a little irritability, considering that he wasn't feeling well, but I was not at all prepared for such an irrationally angry reaction over my simple suggestion of going to the medical clinic for a quick examination and a doctor's note.

"I... I'm sorry. I heard you the first time," I said, my voice small and shaking. "But, I'm worried. If you're really that sick, I think you should see a doctor."

"Can you just leave me alone, please? Stop harassing me about it, okay?"

"I'm not trying to harass you," I said. "I only want to be sure you're all right. You've barely been out of your room for the past three days, and you haven't been eating, have you?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Yes, it does. If anyone should know that, it's you."

"Yeah, I know, but maybe I don't care."

"Why?" I asked.

"I don't want to talk about it," he said. “Can you please just do as I asked, and leave me alone?”

“Fine,” I said, trying to force down my own sudden spark of anger. “You can have the whole house to yourself. I have to do the grocery shopping and go to the post office anyway. Then, I might see if Taka and Seiji want to do something. I can be gone all day, if that’d suit you.”

I got up and started to turn away, but Victor caught me by the wrist. “Yuri, wait.”

“Let go of me,” I said.

“You can’t go out.” Instead of letting me go, he tightened his fingers around my arm. “Stay here.”

I tugged against his grip. “Victor, let go!"

“You can’t go out by yourself,” he said. “Please.��

“Make up your mind!” I exclaimed. With a backward lurch, I succeeded in freeing my wrist. Unluckily, inertia continued to propel me, and with nothing holding me in place any more, I stumbled and landed on my backside on the floor.

For a second, it was as if time stopped. The look on Victor’s face was one of absolute horror, as if something from his nightmares had become real. As for me, I gave up trying to maintain any semblance of emotional control.

“Yuri, I…” Victor began, but didn’t seem capable of getting beyond that.

“What do you want?” I shouted at him. “Do you want me to leave you alone, or do you want me to stay here? Tell me, or I’m making my own decision, and it’s not going to be to stay in this house with you!”

Victor stared at me, and not unpredictably, I saw tears starting to leak from the edges of his eyes. I shouldn’t have been surprised. He cries over everything.

He climbed off the bed and started to move toward me. “Yuri, I’m sorry. I… I didn’t mean… Are you hurt? Can you get up?”

“You’re supposed to protect me,” I said. “You promised.”

“I know,” he said, his voice already strained and diminished by his tears. “That’s what I was trying to do.”

“What?”

“I want you to be safe,” he said. “But… I don’t know how to protect you. Not this time.”

“This time? What are you talking about?”

He moved closer, “Come here,” he said, holding his hands out. “Let me see if you’re okay.”

Let me see if you’re okay.

Something about that phrase made my chest constrict in instant fear.

My mind flashed back to a moment over five years ago, when someone else had hurt me and had said those same words, exactly like that.

One of Ren's favourite things to do was to trap me in the corner of a room, or against a wall, a door, or the refrigerator; any place he could hold me with only one arm and prevent me from moving. He'd use the other hand for... exploring.

This one time, Ren had pinned me on the wall in his bedroom. He'd held me there with one hand pressed into my collarbone, while he tried to unbutton my shirt with the other. When I'd struggled a bit too hard, he let go of my shirt and used both hands to push me into the position he wanted. He shoved forcefully enough that the back of my head struck the wall. I'd cried out, and he let go of me, and I'd slipped right through his grasp and ended up sitting on the floor.

I'm sure he hadn't meant to hurt me like that, and I think, for a fraction of a second, he'd been scared. He'd knelt down in front of me. Let me see if you're okay.

"Don't touch me," I said, just as I'd said to Ren on that day five years ago.

Victor stretched his hand out toward me, not touching, but looking like he wanted to. He said, "Yuri, I didn't mean to—“

"Don't touch me!" This time, I yelled it so loudly my voice cracked.

Victor's face went white, and he snatched his hand back, clutching it to his chest. 'Dismayed' would not have been a strong enough word to describe his expression. I saw in his face the precise moment that something inside him shattered. He inched away from me, as if now he was the one who was afraid.

Of course, I'm remembering all this in hindsight. I was experiencing it then, but I wasn't processing it. I'm sure I was operating on pure reflex in that moment.

As soon as I judged the distance between us to be enough, I scrambled to my feet and dashed out of the room. I didn't stop until I was shut securely behind the door of my own bedroom.

Across the hall, only slightly muffled by the closed doors, I could hear Victor sobbing; huge, noisy, anguished sobs that would normally tear at my heart and have me rushing to comfort him. But, this time, I told myself I didn't care. I was angry and scared, and it was his fault. He could console himself.

I didn't cry. I lay on my bed and stared up at the ceiling, my mind racing frantically to interpret what had just taken place.

Calm down, Yuri, said the rational part of my brain. You have to calm down. You need to think logically and then decide what to do.

My instinct was to run, as far and as fast as I could, but the rational part quietly questioned whether that was necessary. It said running would be an overreaction. I felt as if my instinct was shrieking at my rational mind to shut up, that running would be the only way I'd be safe, but eventually the thinking part won over the feeling part.

For a long time, I lay still, breathing deeply in the way Victor had taught me. Fifteen-second breathing, he calls it. Breathe in slowly through the nose for a count of five, hold for three, and exhale through the mouth while silently counting to seven. The technique is meant to help manage pain, but I've found that it helps me settle just as effectively when I'm feeling anxious or frightened

After several repetitions, the haze of fear and anger in my brain had cleared. I still wasn’t completely calm, but at least I was once again capable of thinking straight.

I raised my arm to inspect my wrist, and found myself gazing at my beautiful snowflake bracelet. It was undamaged, and when I carefully slid it higher on my arm, I saw there wasn't even a mark on my skin beneath it. There were no marks on my wrist at all. I took a moment to mentally assess the rest of my body. Other than a growing ache in my stomach, nothing hurt. I was fine.

I lowered my hands and covered my face, feeling completely foolish.

Victor wasn't trying to hurt me, hadn't harmed me in the least, in fact. The truth was, I'd been utterly terrified by the prospect of being restrained, and I panicked. That, and I was upset and confused by Victor’s inexplicably hostile behaviour and had somehow read my own meaning into it.

I thought I’d managed to purge my mind of all the fear, pain and anger I’d lived with when Ren and I were together. I’d convinced myself that Victor’s gentleness and unconditional love for me had healed me somehow, and that my wounds had disappeared. Of course, that was a convenient lie. I let myself be lulled into a belief that, logically, couldn't possibly have made sense if I'd had the will to think about it.

My scars weren’t gone. I’d only been ignoring them. In a world where I was sheltered and spoiled and adored by my loving, gentle protector, setting aside thoughts of my past trauma became easier, and instead of getting the help I probably should’ve gotten, I chose to tell myself everything was all right.

But, everything was not all right.

Up to this point, I’ve been fortunate. I’ve never had any reason to fear Victor, and nothing he’s done has ever triggered a memory like the one I’d just relived. Victor and I frequently disagree, but he’s never raised his voice to me or acted aggressively in any way.

I wanted to believe he wasn’t capable of it, but now I realize, he’s as susceptible to emotional outbursts as anyone else. He isn't immune to mistakes; he’s human just like me. Stupidly allowing myself to accept the fantasy I'd created about my perfect hero led me to a point where I not only felt hurt and betrayed when the slightest thing went wrong, but where my complete overreaction to that imaginary betrayal had likely done very real harm to Victor.

With that revelation, the last of my anger dissipated. In its place, I was flooded with shame. How could I have been so selfish and careless?

I'd accused him of not keeping his promise to protect me, but what had I done to protect him? What had I even done to acknowledge he needed protecting? I'd realized on Wednesday that something other than a cold was troubling him, but I hadn't pursued it. I hadn't tried particularly hard to find out what the problem was or offered to help him fix it, and the situation had evidently grown to a breaking point.

I’ll admit, I didn’t know what to do next. I didn't think Victor would want to talk so soon after what had happened between us, but still, I at least wanted to say I was sorry. And I wanted to be near him, even if that meant I had to sit in a corner of the room while he gave me the cold shoulder.

Slowly, I dragged myself off my bed and made my way across the hall. I knocked lightly on his door.

“Victor?” I called out. “Can I come in?”

He didn't respond, which I guess I should’ve expected. What I didn’t expect was to discover the door was locked when I attempted to open it.

I tried again. "Victor?"

Several seconds passed, and then came his quiet reply. "Stay away from me." It sounded as if he was right next to the door.

"Can you open the door, please? I want to see you."

“You didn’t want to see me before. Why would you want to see me now?”

Because I love you. Because I was wrong. Because I'm sorry.

Those are the things I should have said. What I actually said was, "Please, don't be like that."

"Like what? Like somebody who's upset because he always tries his hardest and still isn't enough? I don't want to see you right now, okay? I don't feel like doing whatever you expect me to do to make you feel better. I'm tired of trying."

"Victor—“

"I’m not opening the door. Go away."

"I'm sorry," I said, but it was evidently too late in the conversation for that, because my words were met with nothing but silence.

I slid down the wall and curled up on the floor, asking myself desperately how everything had spun so far out of control.

[kitkatopinions]

You know what always bugged me about Jaune attacking Oscar (aside from the obvious)? It felt like he took advantage of the fact that Oscar was a defenseless child. I doubt he'd have the gall to attack Ozpin in his previous body. Now with Qrow on the other hand, I'm not too sure. One of his more consistent traits is picking fights when he shouldn't.

I don’t know, Jaune didn’t have any trouble charging at Cinder, or lashing out at Qrow around the campfire (though he didn’t attack him physically.) It seems like Jaune was willing to lash out at anyone who might have possibly sort of contributed to Pyrrha’s choice and he seemed more controlled by his grief more than logic or power complex. Idk, thinking he’d be just as physical with adult Professor Ozpin doesn’t seem too far off base. He was pretty illogical. Like, not trying to throw shade. And he did get it right to blame Cinder, obviously, although I feel like Jaune of all people charging at Cinder should’ve resulted in more injury to him than it did.  His actions were frustrating, but were at least understandable for someone (especially a teenager) dealing with grief. But Oscar deserved a sincere apology from him and I’m so glad we started moving on from that.

...If Penny’s death triggers an ‘aggressive Jaune trying to find someone to blame and lashing out at everyone 2.0′ I’ll be very annoyed.

As for Qrow, I didn’t think he’d punch Oz at all before it happened and it confused the living daylights out of me. His fight with Winter was when he was seemingly in a pretty good mood and it seemed like a mutual grudge match he was more or less enjoying. And even though Winter seemed to take it much more seriously, there were moments where she was acting like it wasn’t all that serious too.

Qrow Vs Winter really read like an anime fight where you knew the stakes were low and they weren’t really out to hurt each other - and the person that actually got the closest to breaking that feeling was Winter. Qrow’s other conflicts like his spat with James and his arguing with Raven, those were all verbal fights. Qrow and Winter was (if I recall correctly) the only time we saw him actively get physical with an ally or even a former ally who hadn’t revealed themselves to be working with Salem yet, and again, Winter was the one who first started trying to deal blows and she’s the one who seemed more violent.

I mean, this is Qrow with Raven pre-her working with Salem.

And this is Qrow when she showed up at Haven with Cinder to help her steal the Relic.

So the understanding I at least was working with was that Qrow - while prone to arguments and being rude and disrespectful - wasn’t just a violent person. He fought with Winter because they had some messed up understanding linked to their school-rival-like relationship, and she was the exception, rather than the rule. Outside of her, he only seemed to get physical when the situation demanded a fight.

So Qrow just punching an ally - and longtime friend - because it’d been revealed that he’d lied to Qrow - albeit, about an important detail - seemed really out of left field for me considering the prior established thresh-hold of who he’s willing to attack. Qrow didn’t even reach for a weapon with Raven in the bar while she was getting in the way of Oz’s life saving plans out of selfishness and cowardice and being dismissive of Yang’s pain to his face plus acting kind of aggressively herself. But he was ready to shoot her the minute he thought she had gone to Salem. But Oz wasn’t revealed as having done some horrible, evil, non-understandable thing. He was revealed to have lied out of desperation about something admittedly important in his effort to do what he could to save people. Although I  would’ve liked Qrow to take his side from the beginning, it makes sense for his character to have been mad, upset, and to have lashed out. Like I said before, what Qrow is known to get into is serious verbal fights. But punching Oz? When Oz clearly wouldn’t defend himself? When he’s in a body of a child? When his abuse at the hands of Salem was just revealed? That so didn’t even feel like Qrow!

In my opinion, the punch wasn’t a trackable, Qrow-like reaction that made sense. The punch was what started the whole ‘Qrow is violent’ spiral. It was so out there that I had tried to come up with an explanation (like 'maybe there was an Apathy near by they just didn't know about?') And then I started trying to reason that Qrow seeming to slide into deeper depression and drinking heavier was because he felt super bad about it and he was going to give a big heartfelt apology in Volume 7 when Oz came back, which obviously didn't happen. And then the writers randomly had Qrow fight Clover with Tyrian and decide James was at fault for it and get determined to kill him for most of a season without even having gotten the whole story, plus picking fights with Harriet, only to try and talk her down in the next scene he's in?

Qrow punching Oscar felt like an isolated incident that I was willing to consider a really weird and bad mistake on the part of the creators without throwing out the character, but then in seasons seven and eight, he got more violent and less loveable. But confusingly, sometimes Qrow acts like he used to. He waffles between Good Qrow and Bad Qrow sometimes, and sometimes on a scene by scene basis. Good Qrow would totally try and talk Harriet down, whereas Bad Qrow would totally knock her to the ground and taunt her about getting that fight she wanted. It's so weird to see such disjointed writing that makes characters feel so back and forth. It’s not just Qrow, the CRWBY writers have a tendency to just write whatever they think feels valid in the moment without considering the larger character journeys, I think. And once they start hearing complaints, sometimes they double down, but sometimes they start trying to write their characters to act differently without addressing the flaw itself. Like having Yang act like Summer is her mom again, or having Blake suddenly acting like she's really close friends with Ruby, or having Winter suddenly act like she was against the things she’d been totally fine with last season. So there's every chance they're just gonna pretend Qrow never did the violent things he did, and never address the punch or how he helped fight Clover or how he wanted to kill Ironwood. It's possible season nine or ten will feature Qrow acting like his Volume 3 - 5 self again and the writers just expecting everyone to roll with it.

... I spent way too long talking about Qrow. XD Oh well.

[dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram]

I totally understand your point about biological fatherhood vs. familial roles and relationships vs. the stories people tell. We simply don’t know how much Freddie knows about the situation and what he’s being told. I guess my concern is the way he’s being put on display for Briana and Louis’ benefit. Briana has used Freddie to gain followers and stir up fandom drama (remember when F had a temporary tattoo of an anchor, in the same spot Harry does?). The arcade video of Louis and Freddie appeared shortly before the Away from Home Festival. The Tomlinsons being very public about Freddie spending Christmas in Doncaster comes a few months before Louis’ first world tour as a solo artist (and maybe the release of new music). The timing is not mere coincidence. Whether Louis is the father or not, I am troubled by the way the adults in Freddie’s life expose him on social media. Compare it to the way we don’t even know what Bear or Khai’s faces look like and, well, the difference is striking. As I said, we absolutely do not know what is told to Freddie in private. But publicly, Louis is his father. And it’s this disparity that worries me. Even if Freddie is in the dark about this situation right now, it’s not going to stay that way forever. Louis paying Briana’s bills doesn’t give him the right to use a kid as some weird sort of promo. Louis being the biological father doesn’t give him the right to use a kid as some weird sort of promo. That’s my concern: This child’s exposure on social media (for the benefit of other people) when he doesn’t understand the implications and is too young to consent.

So I'm going to pull out a few different threads from here, because I think you're rolling quite a lot of things together.

First of all a general principle - I think it's a pretty shitty thing to do to make up a story about someone and blame them for your story. Therefore if you're going to get into judging people (and even more if you're going to ask other people to join in) you have to be really sure that you know what's going on. Otherwise you can say 'if this is true'.

What really stands out to me is that you're making some huge leaps. You seem to be assuming that Louis being filmed at a distance must have been something he intended and that this video that was only seen among the most engaged was somehow intentionally connected to a gig that was happening a month later.

That seems wildly unlikely to me. Not just 'there are other options', but 'there is absolutely no reason to think that's true'. I've always thought the most likely explanation for the video of Louis and Freddie in the arcade is that they did hang out, and this was just the first time it was caught on camera.

I would make similar points about a lot of other connections you're making. Just because Harry is pretty central to your world doesn't mean he's central to other people's. Why would you assume that a really common fake tattoo of Freddie's had anything to do with Harry?

As to the larger question, I do think that social media and children is very fraught. But there's nothing unique about this particular case. While some famous people hide their children's identity there are lots who don't. And in this era it's not just famous people who are risking that their children might be exposed in ways that they cannot consent to, every parent who posts about their child is taking that risk. In particular, what you see to be judging here is motivations, but you have no idea of their motivations. I'm not particularly into judging the way parents use social media, because it seems complex and hard to navigate to me. But I'm not going to argue with people making those judgements based on what they can do. I will look sideways at people who assume someone else's motivations without evidence and judge them for it.

[renaerys]

What are your thoughts on the blues? The reds are my otp and I like the greens but I have to confess the blues don't do anything for me. My frustration with this ship stems from people making them "perfect ". They're always the first to get together, stop hating each other early, rarely have turmoil and if they do they get over it quickly. They're written as too cutesy imo. I feel like people think just because bubbles is the sweet one and boomer being her counterpart that means they would get together quickly. It's annoying because the blues can be complex if people bothered to attempt to flesh them out. Bubbles is still a ppg and boomer is still a rrb. Contrary to popular belief and writing they would have difficulties moving forward from enemies to friends then lovers. I really feel the reason they're the least popular of the 3 ships is because they're rarely fleshed out in fics and given obstacles to overcome. Even singular fics focusing on them leave much to be desired. I feel for blues fans because I know they're frustrated with the content for their ship and how it's written. I'm not into the ship and I'm frustrated along with them because Bubbles/Boomer have the potential to be a great ship if people took the time to actually flesh them out. It's not right that the reds get to be complex and so do the greens but the blues...just get to be cute and one dimensional. You and maybe 2 other authors are probably the only ones who actually give them a personality and character. Definitely not trying to bash authors but I do feel as though this a discussion that needs to be had. The blues deserve better and this is coming from a reds fan.

Thanks for this thoughtful ask! I’ve heard this concern before from others, and I also have issues with it generally. I can’t speak to other authors’ intentions and don’t pretend to know their preferences or interpretations, so please keep that in mind for what I am about to say here. I am speaking only for myself. 

Based on what I have seen in this fandom and conversations I’ve had with fellow fans, I think there are a few different explanations for the issue you raised, none of which is dispositive. 

1) Certain creators may not like Blues as much as other ships, but because Color Code is pretty much expected in most PPG/RRB fics and art, they throw the Blues in there anyway and end up de-prioritizing them. That’s not unexpected, but probably explains the lower effort put into them compared to other ships. It’s side-ship syndrome and you see it across fandoms. Unfortunate, but pretty ubiquitous. 

2) There are fandom headcanons regarding ship dynamics and character personalities that appear to be widely accepted, and among those is the lovey/saccharine Blues dynamic. That’s neither good nor bad, but it is pervasive. In concert with 1) above, you have a recipe for a low-effort side-ship that the author/creator isn’t super excited about, and it shows through the recycled tropes that barely reach beyond a skin-deep level of nuance. I suspect that the popularity of high school fics exacerbates this issue at least in part. High schoolers probably are not dealing with experiences such as getting older, questions of marriage/family, careers, debt/finances, and other hazards of adulting that are ripe for interesting dramatic tension and added layers of complexity in a relationship. Again, this is neither good nor bad, just an observation. 

3) Separate from 1) and 2), I get the impression that a not insignificant portion of the fandom actively updating fanfic these days is on the young side (teenagers/early 20s) and/or does not have a lot of personal experience with romantic relationships. None of that is bad! Please don’t mistake me, it’s awesome that there are young people creating and contributing, learning and having fun. I encourage and support them; I used to be one myself (and I still have so much to learn and improve on, as we all do). No one can improve without a safe space to practice and learn, and I feel very strongly about contributing to making that space safe and welcoming to creators of all skill levels. The downside of a younger or inexperienced pool of active writers is that it is probably more difficult for those writers to write nuanced, “realistic” relationship dynamics--if they have not lived those experiences themselves (or at least been around long enough to watch them happen to their peers), then how can they possibly be expected to write about them in a story in a believable and honest way? It’s a tall order, and an unfair standard to hold them to. I’m sure some can do it, and my hat’s off to them; they are certainly better writers than I am. But I suspect most cannot. I say that from a place of experience having been there myself. I look back at my fics from like 10 years ago and cringe fondly (what could I have possibly known about adult relationships without ever having been in one myself?). 

And that’s not to say teenagers can’t experience meaningful romantic relationships. They absolutely can and do! But when you’re living it in the moment, it becomes hard to take a step back and objectively analyze it as an experience. That really only comes with age and lived experience, which allow you to look back on those times without being emotionally compromised by your personal feelings. You can see the “good” and the “bad” much better in hindsight. And importantly, you have the emotional intelligence and maturity to write about it honestly. What might have seemed romantic at 16 might feel very different at 26 when you factor in experience, worldliness, and cultural/life education that really can only come with age. At least, that has been my experience. (I reiterate that I am only speaking for myself and my journey, not for any other authors.)

All this for my point 3) is to say that the frustrations you have expressed with Blues in some stories coming off as “too cutesy” or being “perfect” or “rarely hav[ing] turmoil” in their relationship are likely due to the fact that at least some of the writers of those stories probably don’t have the life experiences that would adequately prepare them to write a nuanced, complex, romantic relationship. Real life relationships that are “successful” are hard. They are work. Happiness takes so much work when happiness requires another person’s engagement and fulfillment as an equal member of your team. The honeymoon phase is real, but it doesn’t last, and I think that is where some stories miss the mark. I’m all for Blues (or any other ship) to be genuinely happy in love. Who doesn’t like a happy ending? But romantic success isn’t a destination, it’s a never-ending journey with ups and downs. Personally, I’m interested in reading about the ways a ship navigates those ups and downs, and how the characters decide that despite hardships, it’s worth weathering the struggle together because they are happier together than they would be apart. 

But that’s so hard to execute! Professional writers, filmmakers, and screenwriters think it’s hard to execute! I have tried to do it myself, and I look back on my recent fics and I’m like okay cool, but we can and should do better next time. It is not easy, and I don’t want to give you the impression that I think I’m amazing at it or that it’s not hard to pull off. That could not be further from the truth, and anyone who tries to tell you otherwise is lying to you. It’s definitely a discussion that should be had in any fandom no matter the shipping preferences. All I can say is that I encourage my fellow writers and creators to keep practicing. We can all do better.