#I'm tired of this dang thing

[pb-dot]

One of the coolest parts about the human body is how good it is at repairing itself, to the degree where a lot of medicine basically is "make the process of the body treating itself safer and/or more bearable."

One of the Least Cool parts about the human body is how this boils so much medical treatment to "let's just wait and see if it improves on its own"

[hurricanek8art]

Oy, I give up. This is gonna be completely random and probably a hard ask, but does anyone have screenshots of the bridge of Jadus' flagship, the spot on Quesh where you confront Kothe at the end of Act 2, and the spot where you load in on Odessen they'd be okay with me using in an art piece? I've been chipping away at a kinda-complex-ish drawing of my agent for a few days and I feel like I'm in over my head on doing the backgrounds, so I'm just gonna cheat and use game shots. It'll make sense why when I post it.

I'd take the shots myself but I can't get the flipping game to launch without crashing and still haven't figured out what's causing it, and the majority of my SWTOR screenshots are still on my old laptop 😖. I'll tag with credit in the art post when it's up. I just. Too complicated. Barely enough mental spoons to function. Pre-Celebration Tokyo excitement jitters have me up the wall and I just can't with the background even more than usual today. 😭

[thebirdandhersong]

lads it is mostly my fault (was sick, didn't tell healthcare until it was Dire, was sentenced to bed rest for the rest of my time at camp) that I literally can't say goodbye to these 100+ people I've come to love properly before I leave. I'm not permitted to participate in any singing, dancing, communal joy, any event that's remotely fun (that's nearly word for word what they said) here at camp. and I'm leaving EARLY, am still miserably sick, and have a four hour commute back home on top of that, because there's no one available to drive. literally cried my eyes out over everything just now and am This Close to crying my eyes out againnnnn

[computercuter]

I'm gonna to kill whoever made old apple computers attractive I swear to god

[buttercupchub]

I'm again in the "I don't have motivation to draw but I still want to" area, and feeling myself constantly in anxiety. I mean I've had this "feeling" since high school started back then, but I feel like this more and more as the years pass. I'm unsure what to do, and how to overcome it.

Plus I don't find my art great, both my weight gain and "normal" art. Like I genuinely feel disgusted about them at times, like I could just cry and throw my tablet away. Plus I feel horrible that I can't even finish my drawings anymore, just making sketches and maybe line art but that's it. Like I'm scared of rendering and coloring.

Anyway I just wanted to get this out of my system, I don't know if this post gets to any of you but I hope you guys at least are doing well.<3

But I promise to make more chubby Miguel since at least I enjoy drawing him.<3

[melancholy-menagerie]

;;3w3 ....

[shikai-the-storyteller]

Rewatching the JJK movie to distract myself was both a good and bad idea because A) It did get my mind off things and helped me ignore my headache but B) Now I'm in even MORE agony over Suguru and Satoru

[carpecarlos]

carlospena: kids are crabby today

[robo-dino-puppies]

wait wtf is tumblr messing with the look of the notifications? (again?) on my other account it's now... bigger. more padding around everything. and there's no lines separating each item. why do websites always want to make everything BIGGER i hate scrolling pls stooooooop.

[ltleflrt]

Figuring out I'm on the ace spectrum was so difficult because I have always been a horny bitch. I knew what sex was at a fairly young age, because I'd asked my mom and she's one of those good parents who'll answer questions like those, and as I grew older and would ask more complex questions, her answers would evolve along with my curiosity and understanding of the world. And I remember having fantasies as young as 9 or 10 years old, even if they were hella vague and nothing close to what sex actually is lol

So as I became a teenager, and all my friends' focus turned from playing with dolls to flirting with boys, I automatically thought I was attracted to boys. And I paid more attention to Cute Boys than I did to Cute Girls, because girls were just nice to look at while boys were People To Have Crushes On. Because of heteronormativity. Looking back on it now, I know there were girls I liked to stare at just as intently as boys, although less often because I wasn't trying to pay attention. And I certainly didn't fantasize about girls because I started reading romance novels in 5th grade, so I was fantasizing about male romantic partners because that was the fiction I was consuming. I didn't even realize fantasizing about girls was possible until I was 17, and I had a few "am I a lesbian" internal crises for years because of it.

So when I did start having sex, I had A LOT OF IT with SO MANY different guys, and eventually a couple of women once I started accepting that bisexuality was real. But it was never really fulfilling. Not like my fantasies were. Not like my books were. I was slutty because sex was fun, I was horny, there were plenty of options so I kept searching for that satisfaction I was craving.

Getting married was a relief (even though it turns out I'm aro-spec too lol) because I was tired of hunting, and even if sex with my husband was meh, at least I had someone around to scratch that itch if I had it, and he didn't mind if I occasionally took care of things on my own because I'd read an especially hot scene in a romance.

I learned about asexuality in my early 20s, but I brushed it off. Couldn't be me, I'm far too horny for that. But I think that comes from the fact that everything you hear about Aces is attached to sex-repulsion or sex-indifference. I wasn't either of those things. I was horny all the dang time. I was fantasizing about sex all the dang time. I figured actual sex was meh because my imagination was so vivid that real life could never match up. Which could be true to an extent, but I think not as much as popular opinion would have us believe. If fantasy was really that much better for everyone, then I think we'd have less incels and unplanned pregnancies than we do.

In my 30s I finally saw people talking about The Spectrum, and I started examining my past, and I figured out I wasn't really attracted to anyone I had sex with. I do occasionally find someone attractive; there are men and women and enbies who make my skin feel tight and give me a little wave of lightheadedness lol... but it's always always the fantasy that gets me really going. If given the opportunity I wouldn't have sex with any of those people. Thank you, but no thank you, I'd rather just imagine it than physically participate in the act with them.

(Ok I might go down on them, but that's less about wanting sex, and more about being able to add them to my Tally. Hell yeah I want to brag about making *insert hot person* have an orgasm. There's PRIDE in that kind of accomplishment lol)

I have a lot of respect for aces that are not horny. I understand it even if I don't share the sentiment. And I feel like most of them understand me even if they don't share the sentiment. There's a solidarity between us.

Until I go into a fandom tag for a character that the aces have glommed onto because they're canonically ace or headcanoned as ace. Good lord, the non-horny aces can turn into downright vicious bastards if a horny ace sexualizes their blorbo.

This post is for them.

Horny aces exist. Please look up "autochorissexual, lithosexual, and aegosexual."

Refer to those definitions in regards to romantic attraction as well as sexual attraction.

Some aces may not fall into one of those definitions, because asexuality is a spectrum, but they may still be horny.

Horny aces are not disrespecting you by enjoying being horny on main. We promise we'll wash the stickiness off our hands before we hold your hands in queer solidarity.

And most importantly: Your blorbo is fictional and does not need to be defended from icky sexuality. They exist in an infinite multiverse, so your blorbo and my blorbo are not the same, even if they appear to be on the surface.

AND:

This post is also for the people who are confused about themselves because they're horny but don't actually feel attraction. You're not crazy, you're not wishy washy, you're not "waiting for the right person to come along" (unless you are, in which case I hope you find them). You're just a thin strip of color on a massive rainbow that holds more unique shades than anyone can perceive at a glance.

You're valid. You're one of us too.

And don't be mean to the non-horny aces. Tag your smut so they can avoid it. (But actually so I can find it lol)

[bloodstainedsapphic]

fuzzy sweaters | jackson!ellie williams just a teensy fluffy thing for week 1 of spooktober. honestly, i'm in a sweet mood so i think i'll be pumping out more blurbs like this over the month.

no warnings | just give me all of the gf!ellie please and thanks

"ellie, come on," you coax through the bathroom door, your voice soft but persistent. "just show me."

on the other side, you hear her sigh. "are you sure this is my style?" ellie's voice is muffled, but still carries that familiar tone of doubt she only trusts you with. "it's kind of… old man, ish."

"oh yeah, that's perfect," you tease, knocking on the door a few times to signal you're getting antsy. "no, i know it'll look great. plus, it's getting colder, and i'm tired of watching you freeze your ass off while refusing to do anything about it."

"gah, fine," ellie mutters, dismissing your lecture with a part-anxious, part-aggravated huff. you can practically hear her roll her eyes, always with that damn attitude.

ellie tended to reach for clothes that made practical sense—though this wasn’t one of those times. her stubbornness shone through in her refusal to go pick out warmer clothes even as the october chill was creeping into jackson. she insisted she wasn’t 'cold yet' even though you had caught her teeth chattering more than once and how she didn't protest when you moved to hold her shivering hands. still, you didn’t want to push ellie too far, so you picked out something muted and relaxed, hoping it would keep her comfy and echo the warmth you felt toward her. it served as something that could wrap her up when your arms weren’t there to do it.

after a long pause, the bathroom door creaks open, and ellie steps out apprehensively. she's wearing the 'vintage' sweater you nabbed from a bartering exchange; the well-worn knit fits her oversized like a warm embrace--just as you had hoped. the sleeves hang well past her hands, and the brown and olive tones of the sweater are complemented by colorful stripes along the arms. it makes her green eyes stand out even more.

you immediately shift into full-on doting girlfriend mode, squealing and clasping your hands in admiration. ellie stands there awkwardly, never used to the attention. her cheeks flush pink as she fidgets with her fingers beneath the long sleeves.

"you're so dang cute!" you fawn, stepping closer to lightly tug at the sleeve’s fabric. "prettiest girl in the world."

ellie, naturally, protests for a few moments, but the fuzzball sweater and her soft spot for you disarm her, and she quickly crumbles under your affection. her mask fades into something sweet and vulnerable. "are you sure?"

"oh, i'm so sure," you grin affectionately, draping your arms on her shoulders. "my favorite old man—"

ellie's eyes narrow instantly, cutting you off with an 'oh no, you don't' expression. "i will rip this damn sweater in half, i swear to god—"

you lean in to interrupt her half-hearted threat right back with an apologetic kiss.

[theproof-is-in-the-pudding]

Update: It's going to take a little bit longer to do.... The Ideas are many, but the time to do it in is not much OTL I'm shooting for next week possibly! (so the 25th!)

I'm planning on being a normal comic person soon:tm: but over at @twilit-memories is my FFXIV fan comic delving into my little catto Y'sumi! Right now the current plan is to get things out bi-weekly, updating on Saturdays! Starting Jan. 18th 2025! For now, there will be sporadic posts, and doodles!

[tinyraptorhands]

Pro Hero, Pro Mama, No Problem pt. 3

((Tw: reader is harsh on self, post partum depression symptoms))

You had forgotten about how crazy the paparazzi could be.

Blinding, flashing lights. Crowds of people throwing questions at the two of you, mainly you.

"(H/N)! How's being a mother!?"

"Any plans on coming back to the hero scene!?"

"Who are you wearing?! We love it!"

Each question punctuated with a bulb flash.

"How much do you weigh now!?"

"Are you trying to get back in shape for your comeback!?"

That one made you falter in step, and Katsuki's bicep flexes. Your eyes look up at him, and you can see he's visibly holding back.

Hes been doing that more lately, holding his anger back at the media and his fans.

You can only assume it was because of Katsumi.

As you both enter the venue, the paparazzi fade away. The venue is bustling with pro heroes, their spouses, popular sidekicks and select journalists. You try to spot anyone from class A, or even class B.

Theres a tight feeling in your chest as you see some of your friends. Wordlessly, Katsuki walks you both over to them. Mina, Kirishima, Sero and Kaminari look up, their smiles wide.

"Heeey! If it isn't Kacchan of the Bakugos!" Kaminari teases. "And his lovely wife, (y/n) of the Bakugos!" You gave a small smile as Katsuki clicks his tongue.

"Told ya to quit callin' me that." He mutters. Sero smirks as Kirishima slings an arm around your husband, and Mina greets you similarly.

"So. How's being a dad?" Kirishima grins.

"You ask me that each time I see you, dumbass." Katsuki rolls his eyes. Mina giggles.

"Well, how about you, (y/n)? You look good! Haven't seen you since the month after your maternity leave!" She said, giving you a little squeeze. She takes you away from the men, and walks with you towards the refreshments.

Can she feel how soft you are now? Your brain seems to echo. You give a small smile.

"Oh, y'know," you watch as Sero, Kaminari and Kirishima mess with Katsuki, "baby's growing like a weed, I'm just being a mom for now." You say as she pours punch.

You hesitate, and she notices. "Oh, dang! Forgot! Breast feeding, right?" She sets the full cup down. You nod, fiddling with your necklace. "Well, I think there's some sparkling water somewhere...ah, here!" She takes a small bottle of sparkling water from the table, and gives it to you. "Also, looks like the stylist I recommended did wonders for you! You look radiant!"

You give her another polite smile, and soon you see Ochaco and Tsu come over.

"(Y/n)! Ohmigosh!" Ochaco brings you into a warm hug. You return it, and Tsu does the same. "We thought you got swallowed up in dirty diapers! How have you been??" Ochaco beams.

"Yeah, you barely talk on the group chat, kero." Tsu mentions. You give an apologetic smile.

"I'm just really tired. I've been doing mostly everything for Katsumi, and pretty much on my own for the most part-"

"Hold up. Bakugo doesn't help out??" Mina gives you a concerned look, as do the other two.

"O-oh! No, it's not like that! He's just...y'know. Pro hero stuff."

"Oh, yeah. Thats gotta be rough." Ochaco sighed. "But he's good with the baby?"

"Oh, for sure! It was bumpy at first, but we have a method and it's working!"

You didn't mention the slight animosity you might have felt from time to time, but overall, you felt things were...okay.

They wouldn't wanna hear that anyway.

You saw Momo, Jiro and Hagakure walk up, and soon all the A class girls were together again. You gave hugs all around, and soon you were all talking as if you were back in the U.A. classroom.

Until suddenly, newer topics came up about the hero scene.

"Oh my god, when I tell you-Denki doesn't file paperwork like he *should*-"

You cock your head. "Denki? You're on first name basis, Jiro?"

Mina gasped. "Oh shoot, that's right! Jiro and Kaminari are going out! Their agencies are planning to merge!"

"Yeah, there was kind of a mini-party we all had-" Jiro rubbed the back of her head. "You were invited but..."

Right. You couldn't go. You chuckled, waving it off. "Right, I was still in the thick of things! No big. I forgot about that, baby brain, y'know?" You said, smiling. "Congrats, though!"

Jiro smiled politely, nodding. "Thanks, yeah it's been alot-"

"Heeey! I know! You can come to the after party tonight!" Mina started to say, but Ochaco leaned into her ear.

"Uh, don't you think that's a bit too much for her right now?" She whispered to Mina. You pretended not to hear, and Mina gasped.

"O-or we can do a raincheck! We should all get together once we have the time!"

"Yeah, hero work can really eat up time, huh?" Jiro sighed.

"Totally. Even with crime being at an all-time low, duty always calls." Hagakure chuckled.

"Yeah. Maybe another time-we can all get together!" Ochaco smiled at you.

Isolating.

You smiled back, "For sure."

As they all continued to talk, you realized half the things they talked about you were out of the loop in.

Momo noticed, and said, "So, how has motherhood been, (y/n)?"

You perked up. "Oh! It's been crazy. Katsumi is doing this hilarious thing with her hands, and Katsuki says it looks like she's trying to release some explosions like him! I have a video!" You searched for you phone in your clutch, and soon brought up the video. As they watched, the girls cooed and giggled.

"Ohmigod. She's adorbs!" Hagakure squealed. "She looks like friggin' Bakugo, it's insane!"

"No, she totally looks like (y/n)! Lookit her hair!" Mina said.

"I wonder who she'll take after?" Tsu said, cocking her head with a finger to her lips.

You chuckled as the video finished, and slipped it back into your clutch. As you continued to talk about Katsumi, suddenly a photographer came up. "Ladies! Can we get a picture? It's for Pro-girl magazine!"

The girls all nodded, smiling. Pro-girl magazine was an exclusive Japanese Pro hero women magazine, highlighting all the fresh, young women of the pro hero industry. You went to join them, only for one of the photographers to stop you.

"Oh, uh, apologies, (h/n), this is...er, rather embarrassing-"

"Hey, c'mon, (y/n)! What's the hold up?" Mina called out. The girls looked confused. So did you.

"Well, you see...you don't fit the demographic right now..." he fumbled, and then it hit you.

You weren't a fresh faced, pretty hero anymore. To the media...

You were...a mother.

Used. Washed up. Not fresh or...

You nodded, giving a polite, strained smile. You looked over to the girls, who hadn't heard a thing. "Sorry! I just forgot something! Take the picture without me!"

"Eeeeh? But wait-" Mina called out, and you swiftly turned away, speed walking to the restrooms.

You weaved through the crowds, and found yourself in a bathroom stall.

The world you thought you belonged in, strive to be in, loved the most...

Didn't seem to think you belonged anymore.

No. The world didn't have time for pro heroes that prioritized motherhood.

Hell, they probably thought you being here was redundant.

They all thought you were giving up your pro hero career.

You fiddled with your pearl necklace, and took some calming breaths. You felt isolated. Sweaty. Tired.

And you were pretty sure your breasts were full. You looked down at them, and groaned.

You needed to pump.

By the time you were done, everyone had scattered. You found yourself alone, in a sea of heroes and other notable figures.

Who *were* you, really?

Why were you even here?? You couldn't even keep up with conversations anymore, the media had gotten their fill of you at the entrance, you did your job for the night. Hell, you couldn't even relate to anybody anymore- were sure of that.

You felt a familiar heat in the back of your eyes.

"Shoot..." you muttered. It had to be post partum hormones. You were *not* going to let anyone see you cry. That would be embarrassing to you and Katsuki.

You gathered yourself up, and went to look for Katsuki.

You noticed him with the guys, plus Mineta.

Oh, joy.

"Eeey, there she is!" Sero smiled over to you. "See Bakugo? She's fine! Right mom of the year??"

You chuckled. "Ah, yeah. Just had some stuff to do."

"Enjoying your new MILF status?" Mineta leered at your breasts shamelessly.

"Watch it, grapehead." Katsuki hissed, his hand snaking around your waist.

"Hey, all I'm saying is she looks a little thick like a new mom should." Mineta grinned. "In *all* the right places."

"I'll kill you." Katsuki said, eyes narrowing as his grip tightened on your waist. You weren't listening.

As Kirishima tried calming Katsuki down, Kaminari shook his head. "Have *some* standards, dude. She's not a MILF! She's a mom now!" He hissed, and you, nor Katsuki didn't miss that.

What the hell?

"Oi, so what if she is??" Katsuki suddenly barked. Kaminari flinched.

"I didn't mean, like..uh-"

"Let's all just chill-" Sero was cut off by Katsuki.

"No, I wanna know. What the hell are you sayin'?"

"I-I'm just saying you don't...hit on moms cause...eh...uh...they got...they're moms dude! M'not into it!" Kaminari said, exasperated.

"Oh, I see. So they're not women anymore-that it?" Katsuki's tone got cold. You put a hand on his arm.

"Katsuki-"

"No, this is bullshit. You're still you. Mom or not."

"Okay, dude. No one's insulting (y/n)." Kirishima finally cut in. "Mineta, don't be a creep. Kaminari, we get what you're saying, just be more mindful. It sounded insulting to (y/n). Right, (y/n)?"

You suddenly felt like this wasn't right.

Being here.

"Its fine." You found yourself saying. "I'm used to Kaminari and Mineta's braincells being a little screwed up."

"Hey!" The two offenders whined. You chuckled.

Katsuki's hand went to your lower back. "C'mon. Let's get you something to eat. Haven't seen you eat yet." He says quietly.

"We'll be here, man!" Kirishima calls out to your retreating forms. You hear Kirishima saying something to Kaminari and Mineta. It sounded admonishing.

Your brain began to spiral.

*Thick*.

*Not a woman anymore.*

*Just a mom.*

You suddenly wanted to go home. To Katsumi.

To scream.

You were surrounded by people who couldn't relate to you anymore.

And that? That was the most isolating thing in the world to you.

"Babe? Oi." You were shaken out of your thoughts.

"Yes?" You said, smiling.

Put on your best smile, (y/n). Don't let your stupid hormones, the damn media or pervy people ruin tonight.

Be (h/n). Because that is who you are right now.

Katsuki narrowed his eyes. "I said, go find something to eat for us. I gotta meet up with Best Jeanist. Wants me for some PR crap, probably. I swear, if he asks me to model his dumbass jean line again..."

You nodded, smiling. "Go ahead. I'll wait at the refreshments for you." He patted your back softly, and walked off.

You bit the inside of your cheek.

Would it hurt to call Mitsuki and Masaru? Maybe they were struggling, Katsumi *was* teething lately, early as it was.

No.

They were fine. They would've called. Stop it.

As you went to the table with all the finger foods, you grabbed a plate, grabbing things both you and Katsuki liked.

"Woah, there. Loading up, hm?"

Hawks. You almost dropped your plate. "Oh! H-hello, Hawks!" The president of the HPSC smiled, and looked at your plate.

"Thats alot, huh? Guess it makes sense, mom's gotta eat so kid can, yeah?" He grinned. You chuckled nervously.

"Ah, yeah but some of this is Kat-er, Dynamight's. He just asked me to get stuff so-"

Why are you justifying what you're eating? You chuckled nervously again.

"So. When are you thinking of coming back?" Hawks asked, smiling politely. "The public misses their (h/n)!"

"Oh, uhm...probably when Katsumi's fully weaned. That could take a bit." You looked down at your plate.

*Cow.*

You blinked.

'Go away, bad thought!' You swallowed, meeting the retired hero's gaze. "But, uh, yeah! I'll be back kicking ass before you know it!"

He hummed in response. "Alright. Well, it's good to see you're doing well! Let me know when you think you'll be coming back." He patted your shoulder, and added- "maybe start thinking about training soon. Helps in the long run."

As you watched him walk away, you suddenly felt ill. Did...he call you fat? You discreetly took your portions off the plate, leaving Katsuki's. You instead grabbed another sparkling water.

You could skip a few snacks, or whatever these finger foods were.

Even though you hadn't eaten in a few hours. You would eat when you got home.

And then cry about it, probably.

As you looked for Katsuki, you finally found him.

With three female heroes. They were newer to the hero scene, it seemed. Maybe sidekicks? They looked like they were talking him up. And normally, that wouldn't bother you.

Until one of them placed a hand on his arm, trailing it up slowly to his shoulder. You were too caught up in the hot feeling bubbling up your stomach to notice his visible flinch. He looked strained as he tried to move away, but you had already started running to the bathroom.

You slammed the bathroom door shut, and raced to the sink. Leaning your hands against it, you turned on the faucet, running your hands under it.

You were hurting. Your head pounded, and your dress suddenly felt restricting. It felt like you couldn't breathe. Your heart was racing, and black spots dotted your vision. Were you dying?

You had to get home. To Katsumi. To safety. To comfort. Away from all of them.

All of them.

Hate, hate, hate them all.

You felt angry. At them all.

For excluding you. For thinking you were just an anxious mom.

For insulting you.

...They were, weren't they?

Suddenly, you felt doubt creep in, and the feeling caught you tight in your chest. You tried to breathe deep.

You felt sick. Your ears were ringing.

You leaned on the sink, your forearms pressing into the marble. Your hands continued to catch the water, soaking the edge of your sleeves.

And then you looked up.

Confidence was a hell of a thing. Under the harsh bathroom lights, you saw every detail, every flaw on your skin. You could see how the foundation settled on the dry patches of your skin. The slightly uneven texture making your skin look off. Your slicked back hair was looking a little frizzy, if you looked hard enough.

Which you definitely were.

God.

What were you *doing* here??

Your nails bit into the skin of your palm. Why was everything so *humid*?

Your eyes looked tired. You felt tired.

Really tired.

You pushed yourself off the sink, shutting off the faucet. You slowly walked out into the ball room again, your ears roaring.

Where was the refreshment table again?

Katsuki was probably too busy with those women.

Pretty women.

Unlike you.

'Shut up, already!' You thought angrily. Another wave of unsteady rage swam in your stomach. Your head felt like it was going to fall off your shoulders.

Everything felt like too much.

Too, too much.

And suddenly, you found yourself bracing against the wall. You heard someone say something to you. They sounded worried, but your ears felt like they were stuff with cotton. Before you could look to see who it was, your vision suddenly swam, and then...

*Darkness.*

((So, I keep basing this off what I experienced during my first year post partum. I was at a Nowruz party (my father in law is Iranian) and they're like...Uber fancy parties. I was 4 months post partum and it was my first time out without my baby. And it sucked. I was pumping in a fancy as hell bathroom in a fancy ass dress feeling all kinds of gross. And then I almost passed out because, yes, I was tired and stupid me thought I could handle it. My body could not. Be kind to your bodies, post partum or in general! Sorry if this chapter seems too long or too rambly.))

[donutz]

Not much but a romantic Sebastian and a burnt out gn reader who enters his shop to get some well deserved rest?

Burnt out! reader with Sebastian

A little rest won't hurt...

— I verbally went "ooo" at this request, also apologies for taking so long(This applies to future requests)

Warnings: Possibly touch starved Reader and Sebastian; Reader acts alcohol drunk(Sorry I don't mean to bring up trauma😓) but is actually sleep drunk; Accidently flirty Reader; Very vivid descriptions, I just think it makes it kinda 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 so that's why I'm warning you; 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴 mentions but nothing 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 happens; Flustered Sebastian ooo

Door, after door, after door, after door, you’re tired of this unending loop. The only good thing about this is that incredible shop and its owner.

God, what was his name again?

Sabers?

No that’s not it.

Uhhh.

Dang.

You can’t even think right! When’s the last time you forgot a name?

… You can’t remember that either, okay.

You’re limping through the halls, senses on point, well minus your sight. Your tired eyelids keep on dropping down or hanging.

You want to take a rest soooo baddd.

But you can’t. Not with Urbanshade watching you.

Not with Pinkie or Pandemonium.

Hate it.

Hate this place.

YOU hate this place.

Well accept for Sebastian since this place is the only reason he’s down here.

Just make it to Sebastian and you’ll be fine. Shove through the doors that won’t open or groan whenever you need a keycard.

Fight through the pain!

Well that’s pretty hard mentally.

And your mental state isn’t doing very well.

Ughhhh JUST GO THROUGH THE DOORS.

Sorry I didn’t mean to yell.

I’m just second personing your thoughts.

Actually my thoughts on what your thoughts are. Because I don’t actually know your thoughts. So yeah.

Oh god finally, door 48. You speed walk over to the next door, apparently not noticing Chainsmoker behind you.

.

.

.

“Woowww, you reallyyy saw that one. Y’know I–” He stops talking when he looks at your state. 

You’re looking down with your spine stretching till it pops out of your body. Your extremely tired eyes are barely even focusing, just waiting for that document to pop up.

Your body creates low and shallow breaths.

You look like you’re going to pass out.

“Oh uhhm… You alright?” Sebastian asks, with concern rolling around on his face.

Upon hearing his voice, you look up with excitement and expectation. Only being able to see two of his pastel blue eyes.

You try to speak but can’t, you’re dead remember?

Sebastian sees your attempt and sighs.

“Look, I know it’s hard out there but–” He pulls out his claw in front of you.

Seeing that as a, “Take my hand friend” Gesture, you take it. You seem touch starved with the way you quickly grasped onto his claw.

Using your two hands to grab his claw, breathing hard.

You wish you could feel his fingers.

In your hand of course.

Freakanator 3000.

But after a few seconds of silence and hand holding, you’re suddenly brought down to go see the document.

You didn’t even do that!

Did Sebastian do that?!

Could that have happened this whole time?

Then why did it happen now?!

Groaning in your head, you were motivated to see Sebastian and just maybe rest.

You were contemplating on whether you should keep going so you can find that dumb crystal and get out of here or for Sebastian. Meanwhile, he sat, surprised at the touch.

Maybe wanting some more?

From you specifically?

Just maybe?

You rushed through doors after ��respawning’, even skipping some doors after hearing the entities behind you.

You perfectly nailed down the ways to survive the monsters, getting more and more excited as you get closer to Sebastian’s shop.

The adrenaline rushed through your body as you nearly broke down a few doors.

I thought those were bulletproof?

Slowing down your running, you nearly tripped upon seeing the room that Sebastian would be located in. Letting out big breaths that were loud enough to hear through your head gear.

Sometimes you let out a few guhs and coughs.

It was that bad.

You could drink your own sweat and that’ll help.

Your hands were on your knees, your legs shaking and sweat drops dripping onto your visor while you were looking down.

“Oh man, I can hear you from here. Take a break, yeah?” Sebastian commented, trying to not give you clues that he’s worried about you.

Saliva recollects in your mouth as you look back up at the vent. Your legs carry you over even if it hurts.

Getting out of the vent, you saw Sebastian and tried to smile.

“Ooo… You alright?” His question seemed genuinely curious.

You nod, crawling over to a spot and shutting your eyes.

Sebastian stays silent as he thinks that you fell asleep.

Your body collects its strength, your organs pumping correctly, the only thing that your brain needs now is sleep.

Yeah, the ONE thing that’s hard to get. Currently.

Your swaying right foot indicates that you’re awake, so Sebastian questions you on it.

“Oh you’re awake? I thought you passed out-”

“Offf course I’m awakee..!! How could I– Fall asleepp with a gooddd looking fella like youuu”??

Now that got him to pay full attention to you(Not like he wasn’t before).

“Are.. Are you drunk”?

‘Didn’t know prisoners could drink down here.’ He thought.

“Drunk on your lookss? Yeahhh. Youu look.. Soooooo HOT”!

Sebastian looks away to his left, mouth scrunched making it look like he’s disgusted. But he’s not! Because in this fanfic he actually likes you back.

He’d be flushing with red if he was warm blooded. 

You could tell with the way his fingers are fidgeting with each other. He attempts to pin back his side bang only for it to fall again.

He lets out a groan.

Changing your resting position, you stand up, walking over to Sebastian.

“I could pin your hair back for you. Hic up, baby. Ooo I’m so sleepy I’m hiccuping”.

“HAUH”?!?

“Oh sorry did I make you uncomfortable? I didn’t mean to I’m- hic up sorry”.

“It’s uhm. No. You didn’t make me uncomfortable, it's just that you’re so”..

“Bold? Yeah. I get like this when I’m sleep drunk”.

Oh so you’re aware you act like this?

“Y- Yea.. Bold”.

You stumble over to Sebastian, eyeing his tail. Looking back up at him, you point at his scales.

“Can I touch”?

“Yeah sure”.

Dropping down onto your knees you feel along his hard yet smooth scutes.

“I wish I could.. Actually feel your uhh, scales”.

“Hm”.

“But I can’t :(”

“Awh what a bummer.” He playfully teases.

After feeling up his tail some more, you ask him—

“What does it feel like”?

“My tail”?

“Yeah dum dum.” You chuckle at the slightly insulting nickname.

“Oh well now I won’t tell you because of your insult”.

“Nooooo, breathy chuckle, I was chokinggg… Wait no.. I was jokinggg”.

Sebastian stifles a laugh with his hand, his torso lightly shaking.

“Alright alright. My tail is pretty cold, it’s like smooth in a more slimy way. Yet there’s no slime. It’s kinda weird but I’m used to it”.

“Ooo, slimy tail. So if I take my hands off your tail I’ll get slime on my glove”?

“No, I just said that it’s smooth in a slimy sense yet there’s no slime”.

“... Sebastian, that makes no sense.” You said sternly.

“... Shut up”.

Eventually, you end up falling asleep on his tail. Drooling in your head gear, making a pool of it at the bottom.

Seeing you unconscious yet alive brings comfort to Sebastian. You’re still here, just not awake. Alive.

He’s never really thought about wanting a human alive before.

I don't mean to make Sebastian seem like this shy 'baby', I just think he'd get all blushy and nervous at bold romantic actions.

[petersasteria]

FXXK IT - Choi Seunghyun (T.O.P)

Pairing: seunghyun x fem!reader (college au) Summary: he likes you... or not... er, he's not sure... he's never dealt with feelings before

track 11: fxxk it for attie's MADE event. go check it out! x t.o.p masterlist

thank u, @makeitworse <3

Seunghyun didn't know how or when it started, but he absolutely hated it. You were supposed to be a temporary thing. Heck, even you knew you were a temporary thing. However, something shifted. Seunghyun didn't like it at all. Soon, he found himself obsessing over you a little bit and that scared him which made some funny entertainment for his friends.

"Man, you're down bad for Y/N." Jiyong laughed. "This is your nth time checking her Instagram!"

"Shut the fuck up." He hissed. "I can get her out of my mind."

"Sure." Jiyong rolled his eyes.

Jiyong knew that his best friend already liked you. He found it ridiculous that Seunghyun wouldn't admit it to them... or at least himself. Jiyong has met you a few times because of your shared classes and he found you very sweet, caring, and soft spoken; the opposite of his best friend. That's why he's so entertained seeing Seunghyun crumble even at just the thought of you.

"Just go and talk to her. You guys are 'dating', anyway." Daesung shrugged, not really caring about Seunghyun's complicated situation. His mantra? Kourtney Kardashian's iconic: "Kim, there's people that are dying" quote. He believes that love will come at the right time and he shouldn't force it.

"Aish, don't be so hard on him, Dae." Youngbae shook his head before turning to Seunghyun, "Don't mind him. Just approach Y/N and y'know, slowly ease into the relationship topic." Youngbae's a lover. It's natural for him to be such. That's why his relationship is a success.

"Are you forgetting that I have commitment issues?" Seunghyun said.

"If you have commitment issues, let her go! Jesus Christ, man. Stop complicating things." Daesung sighed, tired of hearing the same shit everyday. "Look, we're not saying that you should go after her. We're well aware that all your relationship fails because of your failure to commit when things get serious, but-"

"Dang, that hit home." Seunghyun said, looking at Daesung.

"It's true. Anywa-"

"What Daesung meant to say was, if you like her enough to change and if you like her enough to try staying committed, then go ahead and do so. If you don't want to do all that, then it's best to cut it off now before both of you start falling for each other." Jiyong said in a kinder way than what Daesung was supposed to say.

Seunghyun thought about it for a while before looking at his friends, "Fuck it. I don't know anything about this shit, but Y/N makes me want to try and figure it out."

"Yay!" Youngbae cheered happily.

"Fuckin' finally! You're not getting any younger, hyung." Daesung snickered.

"Okay, shut it." Seunghyun rolled his eyes.

-

a/n: i'm so sorry it's short!!!

i did my best <3

Taglist: @redhoodedtoad @billiesiousji @hayd3n8 @sherrayyyyy @nbjch05 @ldydeath @wcnderlnds @infinetlyforgotten @emmiesoverthemoon @breakmeoff @sayugarper @gdinthehouseee @patheticgirl127

seunghyun taglist: @loveesiren @millytugby @seungttttop

[hearts-are-connected]

Dang it, I love this ship and I love the enemies to lovers trope. I get that a lot of people see them as a surrogate father and daughter relationship, but it feels like a been there/done that kinda thing.

As much as I love that trope, I'm also a little tired of it. There's only so much Last of Us style found family I take after seeing it for so many years.

The thing I love about VaultGhoul or Ghoulcy is the idea of Lucy breaking down of Cooper's walls while he helps build hers up.

Is he incredibly cruel to her and those around him in the first season? Yes, extremely

Does he need to chill out and find some of his humanity that's been buried under 200+ years of wasteland survival and bitterness? Yes

Who can bring that needed direction to his life while learning the ways of the new world she finds herself in? Lucy MacLean

I know that the canon ship of the show at this moment is Lucy and Maximus, and as much as I love him, I find the pairing obvious and kind of boring from a story telling perspective. I loved it on my first viewing, but upon re-watching the series, I wasn't as behind it as before. I see their relationship, kiss and all, as a kind of first fling for the both of them.

While it doesn't diminish the care they show one another, there's not a lot behind them as a couple. Now I know that some people might turn around to say how she and Cooper spent less time together than her and Max, but I guess the thing I look forward to is seeing what their relationship brings with the second season.

I feel like Max and Lucy will have a great friendship and I'm interested to see where the Brotherhood fits into their dynamic as well.

With Cooper though, I find his story so tragic, as it's supposed to be. He's your standard hardened survivor who only looks out for himself that's now stuck with the happy-go-lucky main character, however, she's not that character anymore by the end. She's still going to be the Lucy we love, but she's changed by the end. While not losing her compassion and some optimism, I think Cooper is going to bring out a harsher side to her as we saw when she bit off his finger.

I want to see her building up her walls and learning when to let them down. How to truly survive while still bringing her own energy to the wasteland and people around her. I want to see Cooper regaining some lost humanity while learning to truly care for another person again. To see the two of them as eventual equals in one another's eyes as they continue on their journey as reluctant allies.

I also want to say that I'm personally kind of tired of the 'age gap' argument. We have stories of teenagers falling in love with hundred year old vampires. So can we just drop the age gap thing?

As long as they're both consenting adults who understand what they're getting themselves into, who cares about an age gap.

Does it truly matter in the scheme of things when we're talking about a world with cryo-stasis and super mutants?

I personally don't think so.

I don't know if anyone will even bother reading this entire thing, and I know I went on a little long, but I wanted to write down my thoughts on the whole shipping situation with the Fallout TV show fandom at this moment.

I'm a VaultGhoul shipper and I can't wait to see where the second season takes our main trio of characters.