#I'm. fucking losing it dude. it was supposed to change when we moved. it was supposed to change

[karmaphone]

nearly sobbing at 5:30 in the morning because the goddamn toilet paper roll perfectly encapsulates every fucking problem I have in this house :')

[thesnazzysharky]

Analyzing and reviewing all the updated models in the SOUP update for SJSM

Because why not?

Specimen 2 / Gel

The guy who wants to give you your wallet. Dude is mad skinny and more skeletal now. Although, unlike the other skinny redesigns (which I will get into later), I actually don't mind how Gel looks here. Considering the fact he was most likely a human at some point, a human who most likely was on the verge of dying from starvation and thirst, I can see Gel looking like this.

Not to mention, his new animations are pretty cool too! The animation with him rising out of the goo puddle looks more interesting now and I like how his attacking animation is much more animalistic and aggressive compared to his awkward and kinda stiff attacking animation in the original HDR. My only complaint is that his rising animation should be more slower and less choppy. Otherwise? A pretty solid model.

Specimen 3 / Subject 5

The cutie patootie spiderpede. Another decent one. He has been given a bit more texture to his body and he has a much more rounded appearance overall such as his body segments and head. His legs are a bit more thinner which looks more unnerving imo. A cool little detail that was given to him is that his pincers now move! A very unnerving sight to see. I'm not a fan of how he's more bright in color and the animation on his legs looks quite janky looking. Also maybe it's just me, but he doesn't seem as big as his previous model. Other than that, this model is pretty solid and is a bit more scarier than the previous model, but it has some downsides.

Specimen 4 / Ringu

Vore ghost woman. Ngl, I was pretty scared when I saw little snippets of Ringu's new model. I thought she was going to be made into a skinny stick like some other models. While that ended up being somewhat true, like in her upper torso region, her arms, and neck, it's not too noticeable or atrocious.

Her hair has become longer, her skin has a bit more texture to it, her breasts are more pronounced, her arms are a bit longer, her hands are bit longer and sharper, her clothes are a pastel purple color, and the blood on her hands are more brightly colored.

My favorite new detail however is that instead of her legs being a solid black color, her legs are now half white half black. Giving off this cool little effect, like the black part is engulfing her legs or something.

What I'm iffy on is the color of her clothes. Why change it? Although I suppose it doesn't look bad, I prefer the old gray look. I also prefer the more dried blood look on her hands with her older model. Other than that, I actually enjoy this model more than I thought I would, especially taking into account the new floating animation that was given to her, which is a very good and smooth animation that is a huge improvement from the last one. I really like this one!

Specimen 5 / Bab

Jesus christ! We were having a decent streak going. What the fuck happened here? What were they thinking? Let's see... so they made Bab go from looking like a mannequin to looking like a stick, alright... Her head is less humanoid and looks more like a deformed cube... She has this weird texture given to her legs for some reason... Her sword is pointing downwards which makes her lose some intimidation... The holes in her face which were only visible in her death screen are now fully visible in gameplay for some reason... and because of her whole body and textures being drastically changed, you can no longer tell she's supposed to be a reference to Silent Hill... AND THEY GOT RID OF MY GIRLS CURVES!

Yeah... there's nothing redeeming here. The model just sucks in pretty much every single way. Definitely the worst model this update has to offer.

Specimen 6 / Ben

Stabby puppet guy. Now I've seen a few folks crapping on Ben, but I don't think he looks too bad. He definitely got a massive change in terms of textures, but otherwise he looks mostly the same to me. I personally like the shading that was done to his face. Makes his facial expressions really pop out and he looks a bit more intimidating overall. I especially like this shot from the trailer where the room is dark and the flashlight is shining solely on him. Was pretty unnerving on my first viewing.

Is this my idle version of Ben? No. I still prefer the original model due to the Ben Drowned and Happy Mask Salesman references being more clear and although I find the redesign to be more intimidating, I also think that it tries a bit too hard. One thing that I liked about Ben was that he seems like an ordinary and somewhat friendly looking puppet at first, before you start making a run for it once he goes after you. This one is more on the nose. Decent model nonetheless.

Specimen 8 / Deer Lord

"Deer" lord! (sorry, I had to). Funnily enough, while everyone else got the skinny treatment, it seems like the deer man got a bit wider. He also had his textures changed a bit, his snout angled more downwards with more blocky and yellow teeth rather than sharp and white ones, his height slightly decreased, and his eyes look slightly bigger.

Other than that, there's not much to say about Deer Lord's new model other than it looks great. Especially with the new textures he was given when he opens his cloak.

I still prefer the old model due to it looking more scary, thanks to the height and more thin look, but the new model is still pretty good.

Specimen 10 / Parasite

Annnnnndddd back to trash... Yeah this model sucks. I still remember first seeing this thing from Ryan J's video and laughing my ass off. The ridiculous walking animation, the over exaggerated and way too floppy arms, and the overall terrible and bland textures. Just a trash model all around... until...

They listened to the community and updated the textures! And I'm pretty sure they mentioned somewhere that the animations would be slowed down too. I still prefer the original model, but this is a massive improvement from what we previously got and I feel like I could potentially get used to this model and even start to prefer it to the old one if they get the animations correctly (not sure about the ass cheeks, but those are there too, I guess lol).

Specimen 11 / Beef Demon

Funny beef man. This one is a mixed bag to me. I really like the goat legs, the creepy arms, and horns, but everything else screws it all up. Yet again, bro has been made skinny for no apparent reason and has lost his intimidating bulky build. His head also looks too small and his eyes look too big and odd. If he kept his bulk and his head was changed up a bit, he would probably look a lot better, but for now, this model is unfortunately kinda bad. Not much else to say.

Specimen 12 / The Sickle Man

Weird ass lonely old man. We haven't gotten a full glimpse of him yet, but we do have this screenshot. He seems darker in overall color and he looks a lot more detailed with some nice shading going on. From what little I can see, he looks pretty good!

Specimen 13 / Siren

Piano keys for teeth lady. Her model seems to be the same. So not much to say there. Although we do get to see her swimming in the water! Which has its positives and negatives. The fear of the unknown factor is lost now that she's visible, but at the same time it's really cool to actually see her instead of just only seeing her model sitting on a box and then disappearing once she goes into the water.

Unknown Specimen 2 / Otto the Otter

Har Har Har Har Har. Okay. This one is definitely a step up and is the 2nd best new model from this update. The more detailed textures, the added grim, the bits of metal, his new walking animation... it's all so great! The only negatives is that his eyes don't glow and you could say that his older model being so low quality was apart of the joke and what made him so charming. So although I really like this model, there is a sense of charm that is lost from the old one. Still very great though!

Unknown Specimen 3 / Spooper

Mpreg parasite. We hadn't got to get a super close look at Spooper yet, but from what I can see, his model looks great! Mostly just the same, aside from more detail and having different colored shoes.

Other things

The specimens weren't the only things that got an update!

The subjects in the test tubes now have 3d models which look pretty great.

The old Specimen 10 has a new model and it looks amazing! Easily the best model from this entire update.

And to wrap things up, the White Cat finally has a 3d model now. Although her fatass head makes her look like she got stung by 1 million bees, it also makes her look adorable and squishable, so I don't mind. Plus I like the little transparent effect on her lower body. Makes her come across as very otherworldly.

Verdict

So, I honestly don't think the SOUP update is downright horrible like some people say. However, I will say it's definitely a mixed bag in terms of quality and I can see what people mean when they talk about how these models diminish Kira's vision and thus their charm is lost. The only models I prefer to the old ones are Specimen 2 and 4's along with the test tube subjects, the old Specimen 10, and the White Cat. All the other ones are either equal to or downright worse than their old models.

I'll wait and see until the update comes out. Maybe I'll warm up to some of these more (except for fucking Bab. All my homies hate the new Bab). Anyways, thanks for reading and have a great day.

[accirax]

initial thoughts on DCAS episode 21

AKA, the finale :O this will be a doozy...

for Going Through It as frequently and as strongly as Jake does, i find it hilarious that all of his promotional material always looks like it was ripped straight from a dorky high school girl's instagram feed. also, go Ashley, roast that clown (/lh)

that's such a cute drawing omg!!! i always have fun thinking about how good the drawing is in the context of the universe it was drawn in. like, to us, his proportions look kinda off, but in their universe, the giant heads and tiny waists are actually really accurate. Hunter is going to be the next great artist fr.

... i thought that the point was supposed to be that Jake grew more than anyone here, which is why he was facing down Riya. i mean, i guess you could say that Ally had to grow a new personality for the beginning of the season, and then have that character develop. she is more changed from s2 Ally than Jake is from s1 Jake because Jake had more of a character in s1.

and boy, would it suck if that promise was left unfulfilled! (/s)

it is true that this (if she actually remained on Riya's team the whole time) is kind of a win-win for Ellie. either Riya loses, or she gets $100K. both are acceptable.

this was such a cute/fitting response for Jake to have. it's a really great button on their relationship.

i love how smug they look at no one wanting to help Riya.

WHEN THE FUCK WERE YOU WATERBOARDED???

actually, we know that Tom is a terrible liar, so maybe he got waterboarded by the mob boss after they figured out he was lying in the interrogation.

w... what...?

dare i say iconic

i know that they didn't really have time, but with Alec and Ellie working together (and Alec protecting Ellie, as he did here), i had kind of hoped that we'd get a bit more closure on their relationship. like, does Ellie still hate Alec for betraying her? or is the fact that they were going to be in the villains alliance together mean that they'd cross that bridge? maybe i'm just forgetting, but their relationship feels somewhat unresolved. (i mean relationship platonically btw; no hate to people who ship them but i don't need to know if they're a couple or not because the canon answer is obviously no)

i don't know if this was really necessarily but good for you girl

this is like the first time Fiore has cared about anyone ever :,D Fiore and Alec the duo ever!!!

A GENUINE SMILE????????

why are you preventing this from happening? you know Gabby, so you should know that this would absolutely work.

rewatching the beginning of the episode after knowing the end, i sorta wanted to question whether Ashley abstaining from helping could have accidentally lost Jake the win. however, Tom is just so doggedly determined to cover his man that i think he probably was the best guy for the job. like, would Ashley dive for him? idk.

okay, 1) WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU THINK THAT WAS GOING TO DO, RIYA?!?!, and 2) HOW THE FUCK DID GABBY NOT LOSE HER ARM FROM THIS. IMAGINE IF SHE DID. THIS WAS WILD.

... does Riya understand how pain works? or the American healthcare system? Ellie surely wanted to use that money for something else, dude.

so they are kinda sweeping Tom's wrongdoings under the rug, huh? sigh. hopefully it's just a "for now" thing to be further explored in the miniseries.

i love Trevor's little :3 face

and boy, would it suck if this favor was left unfulfilled! (/s)

i watched a compilation of each Disventure Camp character's first and last lines, and let me just say, it's really weird that "Go, Jake!" (said with Aiden) is James' last line ever.

GIVE UP ON HERRRRRRRRR

(also, glad his foot seems to be doing better)

i know i probably would have made fun of this scene for being super corny/moving too fast if Tom had said "i love you," but it's perhaps equally funny that he didn't. like, c'mon bro, you can't even muster the L word in this incredibly dramatic and heroic moment?

COPE

oh boy...

y'know, beyond just not having a good time slot in which to do so, i also kinda put off writing these initial thoughts because i just really didn't feel like having to write anything about ONC's choice regarding the winner of the season. everyone online seems to have these really radical opinions-- either saying that this was a brilliantly subversive and poetic choice, or that the entire season (and perhaps even s2 before it) are ruined by the choice to let Riya in. the truth is, i'm incredibly neutral.

on one hand, i'm incredibly disappointed. if you've been keeping up with these initial thoughts throughout the season, or especially my episode-by-episode power rankings, you'll know that i've very firmly believed that Jake was going to be the winner of this season since the beginning of the merge. and it's not because he's my favorite character and i really wanted him to win or anything-- i have a generally favorable opinion on Jake, but it was mostly because i thought that the arcs and messages of the season would be best capped off with a Jake win. therefore, it's saddening to believe that they didn't capitalize on all that potential just for the sake of shock value.

then again, i really appreciate what ONC was trying to do with Riya. i can tell that they must have felt like they had a lot to prove with Riya in DCAS given how mixed her reception was in s2. so, they put in a lot of work to "fix" her character in DCAS, and, on the whole, i think they got a lot better! as much as i was predicting the Jake win, i was also kind of dreading it, just because it was the sort of cheesy, fanservicey ending that could be predicted from a mile away. so i appreciate the boldness to go for an unexpected ending, and the refusal to stagnate in cookie cutter fan-pleasing storylines when your artistic heart is driving you in another direction.

which is why, in the end, i have no strong opinions. i think that the character writing absolutely could have been set up to establish viewer expectations better, but i also don't think that the entire season is unwatchable because Riya wins. the truth of the matter is still that all of the other contestants besides Yul are the real winners of the season, because they made friends and grew as people. if you rewatch the season, you can still see the gang do just that. but the equal truth is that all of the promises those friends made and the goal that drove them to improve might all feel a bit more hopeless with the knowledge that Connor never did get to one-up Riya. People who needed the money more, like Ashley, Alec, or Ellie didn't get a cent of it. and unlike it would be for Jake, who had a lot of connections with a lot of people, many contestants had pretty much no bearing on the winner of the season at all.

i want to believe that the Disventure Camp writing can and will continue to overall get better, but i also can't ignore the obvious signs of growing pains. can't bring myself to get all too mad at them either, though. mostly, i just want to stay out of any drama.

it really shows that Jake hasn't been able to look at social media since the beginning of the show. trust me, buddy, not everyone was rooting for you.

unsurprising that tomjake gets the last kiss of the season/era.

cite your sources, please (/j)

i guess the real person Riya was lying to all along... was herself. *vine boom* because, seriously, how the fuck did she not realize that it wasn't just acting anymore? when she double-broke Connor's foot and tried to make Ally think that Jake lied about being suicidal???

[theburntatlas]

I'M BACK! (Again)

He still looks like megumi, But he's cool as fuck! I never can remember his name though...

I feel like they were really paid for the battles and then were like "I'm bored..." when forced to do slice of life Kind of sad they didn't do anything cool with the sung's new appearance either..

but this scene is so pretty I'm like WHAAAAAAAT?!?!

but I was also sad that this scene didn't get a cooler version than the in manhwa version I thought he woulda been even crazier here

But GOD I loved reading SL more but having this as a like "Oh yea btw this is how the fight goes" is so good to know cause the choreography isn't good at telling me "oh actually he feinted here" or where the attack came from or reactions but then it moves on to the COOLEST FUCKING THEME EVER?!?!??!! LIKE LISTEN TO THIS!

Fuuck I love this theme so much

There was this too and I was thinking how like sick it is to watch magic be represented in animation THEN THEY HIT ME WITH HEALING MAGIC BEING BUBBLES?@!!?!!? WHAT THEFUCK!??!?!

this entire fight scene gives us so much fanservice and not like female I mean FIGHTS dude the tiny worldbuilding to make the characters and magic seem just a BIT more real, but I was only seeing "When an ugly dude calls you twin." all the time so I wasSo pissed

EVEN THIS TOO!! HE HAS FIRE MAGIC!! HE FIGHTS USING ALL HE HAS!!! HE WILL BEAT HIM!! HE MAY FAIL STILL BUT THE SERIES FORCING HIM INTO A CORNER TO UP THE STAKES WAS STILL THE COOLEST THING EVER

I don't really get why he gets faster/Stronger after the quest but I just put it up to "Oh I'll have to be serious then."

IT'S HERE!!!! ANOTHER TIME HE LOSES AN EMOTION!!

NOBODY TALKS ABOUT THE MOTION HE MAKES WITH HIS DAGGERS EITHER!! LIKE!?!?!?

THE FACT HIS INTENT MAKES HIM FEEL LIKE HIS FEET ARE IN AN OCEAN HE CAN'T ESCAPE!! LIKLE?!?!!? WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO HEREILOVE THIS STUDIO FOR DOING STUFF LIKE THIS!!

#1 I told you he looks like megumi #2 HOLYFUUUUCK THE FACT HE CHANGES COLOR IN THE DOMAIN ASWELL?!?!! I wish more people talked about all of this

I hate sjw's sharp chin actually I wish it wasn't like that because they look really stupid in these scenes I can deal with it it's just stupid

ALSO!!!!!! INJURIES!!!!!!!! INJURIES BEING AN ACTUAL PART OF THE FIGHT!!!!!!!! which also reminds me

I don't know whether to hate the fact that TWO hits is all he's landed on SJW Assassin's are people who hide to deal BIG damage at the enemy in one strike, i.e a headshot like a sniper, a back stab, etc etc.. all of that! So just one strike making him in such a dangerous state that he needed to heal is an either really dumb detail or a really thought out one

BUT THIS?! WE DIDN'T GET THE SCENE OFH IM KILLING THE DUDE!! LIKE!? oh and that one girl retired and we're gonna see jinho next ep BUT JOKES ON YOU I'VE STALLED SO HARD I ALREADY WATCHED IT!

this was my favorite part of it UNTIL

THIS FUCKINGSCENE!? LIKE WHAT?!?!?!?! ARE YOU SERIOUS?!

[imnotyourbrah]

love is dead

So, fellas. I have no clue why am I here, like my teenage self, writing down the same shit, like me teenage self. But here I am, and so are you, so let me make sure we all end up on a very soulful journey and may my words shine brighter than the morning star (coming from someone who wanted to completely give up on writing)

And like the hopeless romantics we all are, today's story is about my experiments with online love, because I am too fragile for real love.

I will gladly skip the first two guys, because they really didn't change me or my view on love. The second one sure tried, but it was only after the third guy that I started to comprehend what the second guy was trying to tell me.

anyway, moving on...

you see that photo up there, it's one of those rare moments in a film where time stops and so does your heart. where you feel chills run down your back. this moment is cherished by one and all. and this moment can only exist in films and books, that is all.

coming back to my experiments with love. I never loved the third guy, or so I thought. It was only when he left, that I began to understand what love is, love isn't passion or hot steamy sex or holding hands or any physical stuff. love also isn't going on dates, buying loads of stuff for each other (writing this one for the materialistic bitches out there).

Then what is love? or what is louuuuuuuuuu...

Love or Luv or Louuu is tolerance. I want to write compromise and I want to write acceptance, but I have though about it and I might actually be fine with the word tolerance. If you can tolerate a person, tolerate their stupidity, ignorance, bad habits, good habits, affection, distance, etc, that is what love is to me.

Because why would I be awake and listening to a guy rant at 2 AM when I have office in 3 hours. I don't see me doing that for anyone. When I rant, I'm whiney, but when you rant, I let you let it all out. See classic example of one sided love. I am sort of a master of it.

This dude changed my whole outlook on love. Not only do I not believe in it now, I also feel repulsed by the thought that my past self believed in it. Or I let myself believe in it. I should've been smarter.

Anywayyyyy, back to the topic. A friend of mine, a really close friend of mine, experienced something strange when she was living with her cousin. She saw her cousin's flatmate have an affair with a woman with a husband and two kids, now the whole family would meet up, husband included and here she is losing her mind thinking about how do such people exist and why, when she narrated me the entire incident, all I could hear was death in her tone. Like someone killed her will to live, and at that moment, I knew this was messed up. From the husband's point of view and specially from the kids point of view. But that was the harsh reality of life, love is dead, families are dead, loyalty is dead, we are dead.

Today, a couple of hours ago, this colleague of mine rings my doorbell. We live in the same building, not that close friends, he says his grandmother just passed away and that he needs to leave for his hometown ASAP. I get sad for him, then I see a girl next to him. He tells that girl to give me the keys, says she's his friend. I say, "okay, take care".

As soon as I close the door. It strikes me, the apartment is pretty small for two. And didn't he have a girlfriend that he was supposed to marry? My heart starts sinking. Him TOO??? I really can't respect him or even look at him anymore, I have another guy I hate in my ocean of men I hate.

So I guess, every fucking body is either a coward and cheating, or shameless and openly in a casual relationship, because honestly, why should we tolerate anyone, we are perfect, why change for anyone, why love anyone, let's be assholes for the rest of our lives. pfffft

Or not.

I don't want to be any of that. In fact I don't want love now. I am happy alone. Don't want attention, or tolerance or anything, because I already know what's in store. It is all a shit load of gutter and defiance and selfishness.

I would rather have kids with a rich man than kids with someone who will love me or at least pretend to love me for like max 8 months. I hope that makes sense. but love is dead, and we can all move on and look for a sad lonely life, although there is a way to not be sad, but that topic is for another article I suppose.

[settlingdownwithandybiersack]

Like a Virgin (Part One)

(This story is from my old account, But I made some HUGE changes lol. The request for this story was originally the reader loses their virginity to Andy and that Ashley was her brother, I did trade Ashley in the story for Lonny.)

(A/N) SPOILER ALERT -  Reader does in fact lose their virginity (If you aren’t into smut I did put a warning right before)

My name is (Y/N) I am (Y/O) years old... And I am a virgin.

Those words were never a problem for me to say, In fact, I've always been proud of myself for waiting. Ever since the day I learned what sex was I knew I wanted to wait until I was with the man I loved. I suppose it did also help that my brother would kill any man who tried to take it away from me... let alone touch me.

But I can admit I have grown increasingly more curious about the act. Ever since Andy and I have gotten together... The only issue is Andy and my brother are band mates... And things are becoming problematic... Fast.

Knock knock knock

The loud thuds of Lonny’s fist hitting the door at first caused me to jump.  “Andy’s not in there is he?” Lonny questioned. To be honest I was surprised he didn’t just barge in. “No Lon, The coast is clear...” I groaned audibly. “Good!” He chimed as he threw the door open. “For the record, If Andy ever is in your room, Please leave the door open okay?” Lon let out a laugh but I knew he was serious.

“Okay, Dad.” I remarked. Lonny’s joking demeanor turned into a look of defeat . “(Y/N)... I’m sorry okay? I’m just looking out for you…” I couldn't help but stare at him in shock. “What? You don’t trust us? ME!?” I snapped harshly. “No! God no… You aren’t the issue! I- Of course I trust the both of you. Hell Andy’s practically my brother.” My face morphed into a look of disgust. “Please don’t ever call Andy your brother...” I let out a loud laugh. Lonny rolled his eyes. “You know what I mean though... I don’t want you to do anything you’re not ready for... Plus you're my sister and I really don’t wanna know or think about that kind of stuff happening.” Lonny reasoned. “Then let’s stop talking about this. Okay?” I concluded. Lonny hugged me before planting a kiss at the top of my head. He proceeded to get up to leave my room when I stopped him. “Wait, So why did you even come in here?” Lonny continued to walk away but I could still clearly hear him say. “I just wanted to interrupt you if Andy was in here, And to let you know I’m leaving for practice.” I rolled my eyes as I flopped back down onto my bed.

Lonny pulled up into the parking lot instantly spotting Andy who greeted him at his door. “It’s about time you showed up.” Andy joked. “Yeah, yeah. I was having a little talk with your girlfriend, About not doing shit you don’t wanna do.” Lonny gave Andy a teasing but still stern look while Andy let out a noticeable sigh. “Dude, You really have got to stop this. You know I wouldn’t ever do anything to hurt her. I also don’t want the fact of me dating (Y/N) to get in the way of us or this band.” Lonny nodded in reply knowing Andy was being genuine. “I know, I know… It’s just she’s my little sister.” Andy couldn’t help but cut him off. “Yeah, Your sister who also just so happens to be capable of making her own decisions, The same sister whose told me multiple times that I'm being a fucking idiot. The sister whose not afraid to speak her mind or stand up for what she believe in. That sister?” Lonny nodded in confirmation “Yeah, Yeah I know. But to me, she will always be my little sister.” Andy rested his hand on top of Lon’s shoulder. “That’s completely fine, Just please keep in mind I won’t ever do anything to hurt her or do anything she isn’t okay with. Now come on let’s get started, We don't have this space all day.” Lonny knowingly agreed so he began unpacking his car and moving his bass guitar inside.

Closer to the end of practice, Andy sent out a text letting me know they were almost done. The text read “Hey baby girl, It looks like we will be packing up in roughly less than an hour. Do you wanna catch a late movie? Maybe get some dinner?” I replied with a quick. “Absolutely.” Without hesitation I decided to show up for the last few minutes of practice. I decided to sit in one of the empty chairs and patiently wait, I was just in time to see them clean up as they joked around with one another.

After a few short minutes Andy looked over in my direction instantly locking eyes with me. His smile gleamed as he rushed my direction. I stood up just in time to get swept off my feet. “My Love.” He stated before kissing me playfully. 

The sound of someone clearing their voice caused Andy to place me back on my feet. We both glanced over to where the sound came from revealing Lonny. “Yes?” I asked. “ I just wanted to say that Jinx wanted me to come over to talk about some ideas he had... He offered his guest bedroom so I won’t be home tonight.” He replied. “Okay?” I answered back. “No fucking around though alright?” He ordered back. “Lonny!” I exclaimed feeling attacked. “I just mean don’t set the place on fire while I'm gone.” He claimed. I rolled my eyes. “Whatever, I’ll see you tomorrow then.” I linked my arm around Andy and pulled him out of the building. Lonny replied with some nonsense that I couldn’t be bothered to hear.

“Would you wanna spend the night at my house? Since Lonny won’t be there...” I questioned as we got closer to my car.  Andy chuckled before nodding. “Yeah absolutely, It’ll be nice sleeping at your house for once.”

We stopped by Andy’s to collect a few items for tonight so he wouldn’t have to leave super early tomorrow. The thing is Lonny would never have prevented Andy from sleeping over before, In fact, Lonny would have preferred us to sleep there more often so he would know nothing would happen. We just never slept at my house in fear that Lon would give Andy more speeches. If I’m being honest it was more of a me issue rather then a them issue. It had always just been easier to sleep over at Andy’s since he was alone.

(Sexual Scene’s Up Ahead)

Even though Andy and I have never actually had sex, We were still extremely intimate with each other. With that being said our night started off by taking a hot shower together, Only this time things felt different. I found myself craving him.

 Andy had always been a fan of having his hands on me, But he was much more cautious when we were both naked. I decided while he was washing his hair to grasp his noticeable length, This was something I’ve done before however this time I decided tonight was the night things would escalate.

“I want you.” I whispered, As I began moving my hand slowly up and down his shaft. “(Y/N)... Baby… This might not be the best place for that.” Andy moaned softly, While he held onto the wall of the shower trying to remain stable. I began to kiss his collarbone making my way up to his neck, I continued all the way up until I was at his ear. “This is the perfect place.” I paused before adding. “I want to experience everything.”

Andy’s eye’s locked onto mine before he spoke. “Wait are you serious? (Y/N) you know I’ll wait as long as you want.” Andy leaned his forehead onto mine as he softly spoke. “I love you, I’m ready. Andy, I want you… I want all of you. If you aren’t planning on leaving me, I don’t see a reason to wait any longer.” 

I watched as Andy bit his lower lip, I could tell he wanted me as badly as I wanted him. He softly placed his hand on the nape of my neck. “I’m never going anywhere without you. I promise.” Andy pulled me into his kiss as I smiled against his lips. My tongue danced with his. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he lifted me up, I wrapped my legs around his waist causing his member to become more excited. I teased him as I nipped at his bottom lip which in return caused Andy to smile against my kiss. His head moved down towards my neck where he left a trail of kisses.

Within no time I found myself sitting on the showers floor feeling the sensation of Andy’s fingers tracing my thighs as his lips kissed my hips. My toes curled in anticipation, My back arched craving more. I could tell he was enjoying this just as much as I was because when we would lock eyes he would smile and make his way back up towards my lips, On his way he would kiss my ribs, In between my breasts and my collar bone. I could feel his considerable length on my thigh and I would beg him to take me, and all he would say is. “Relax and be a good girl, Okay? Just enjoy yourself.” My body would squirm not knowing how much longer I could take it. 

Andy wrapped his arms around me pulling me up back to my feet, Our lips locked the whole time as I ran my fingers threw his hair.

Breathlessly I asked. “What’s the best position for my first time?” Andy returned to my lips where he brushed his against mine leaving soft kisses. “I want you to be in control, But for now follow my lead.” He explained. I nodded. Andy rested his pointer finger onto my lips in return I welcomed it into my mouth, After a few seconds he removed it and began kissing along my neck as his hand traced my body until he reached my thighs. I wrapped my arms around his neck for support as my body took full control, My legs spread apart slightly giving him enough access. His pointer finger effortlessly slid inside while he used his thumb to create little circles on my clit. Before I knew it his middle finger had found it’s way inside of me filling me up. Every single movement his fingers would make sent a wave of sensations throughout my body. I couldn’t understand why I had waited this long.

Andy laid down in the walk in shower as he directed me to crouch over top of him. “This is where you’ll have full control. Take me at your own speed.” He instructed. “Shouldn’t I pleasure you first?” I inquired. Andy shook his head. “No, This is about you.” He added. “Won’t it hurt without saliva?” I pondered out loud. “The water should be enough Love, If not I'll help you.” He concluded. 

Andy held his member upright as I hovered above it. I slowly lowered myself onto him. Once I could feel his tip enter me I paused. Andy moved his hands to my hips where he helped hold me up. After a moment of hesitation I continued until his head was fully inside of me. 

I could tell Andy was attempting to contain his excitement but his breathing gave his secret away. I shifted my position from balancing on my feet to being on my knees the deeper Andy explored me. Before I knew it I had taken all of him and was sitting on him. I couldn’t help but smile as I realized how huge of a step we had just taken. I arched over to kiss Andy and that’s when he took my face into his hands and arched his back causing me to rock forward. Our lips locked as I instinctively rocked my body back and forth allowing the pleasure to move me. Every sound that escaped his lips caused me to move faster and faster in hopes I would hear more and I did. Andy’s hands explored my body all while I focused on exploring what I enjoyed. I found that I liked it best when he would put slight pressure on my belly while I experienced the sensation of having him fully and deeply inside of me. Every time I came close to finishing Andy would take control allowing me to have unexplainable orgasms, Sometimes one directly after the other. This went on until I felt like my body couldn’t handle anything else.

“Where do you want me to finish?” He questioned within pants. I was feeling euphoric at this point so I kept our bodies in motion while I called out. “Inside of me.” Andy obeyed. Neither of us caring about the consequences. I laid on top of him as I felt the water turn from hot to iced cold, The sudden change caused me to leap up. Andy joined me as he panickily turned the knobs off. 

I looked over at Andy and began laughing. “Of course that would happen to us.” I confirmed. Andy joined me with a towel and a chuckle. He wrapped us both in the singular oversized towel, Since my legs forgot how to work Andy was a perfect gentleman he wrapped my legs around his body and carried me out into the hallway where we met the shock of our lives.

(Smut scene is over)

“Lonny!” Andy shouted. “What, What are you doing here?” He asked while placing me down attempting to keep us both as covered up as possible. “I should ask you the same thing, What the fuck!? (Y/N) I thought you said you weren’t going to fuck anyone!? And you! Fucking my sister in my home!?” Lonny completely lost it. “Our home Lon, This is my home too!” I scolded. “(Y/N) stay the fuck out of this! Dude, If you weren’t fucking naked I would kick your fucking ass.” Lon threatened. “Fine, Stay right there, Give me five minutes and you’ll get your way.” Andy spoke calmly. I grabbed his arm tightly “What are you doing?” I questioned with fear filled eyes. “I’m going to go get dressed and if he really wants to fight me then so be it.” Andy walked with me back to the bathroom where we redressed.

Just as he promised within five minutes we were back out into the hallway where Lon waited. “Just get the fuck out of here.” Lonny replied as soon as he heard us. Andy grasped my hand. “No, I can’t do that. I promised your sister that if she really wanted to… Well you know, That I wouldn’t leave her. I’m not about to break that promise, Not today… Not ever. I didn’t just fuck her dude, She means the world to me to just fuck… I love her, I’m in love with her. So if you wanna kick my ass then fine, But I’m sorry I’m not leaving... At least I'm not leaving without her.” He stated confidently.

I watched as Lonny tried to find the correct words to fight back, But he couldn’t he was speechless. “(Y/N) do you wanna spend the night at my place tonight?” Andy asked but before I could reply Lonny interrupted. “No, Stay here… Both of you. I just, I came here to apologize to (Y/N) for early and anyway Jinx is waiting for me in the driveway. I swear on everything dude if you do end up hurting her I'm kicking your ass...” Lonny reasoned. Andy nodded understandingly. “That’s fair, But I know I'm never going to hurt her.”

Knowing that everything was going to be alright I hugged Lonny. He headed back towards the front door and before leaving made the remark of. “Oh, By the way guys... No having sex while I'm home alright?” I rolled my eyes and threw a pillow at the door after him.  We waited a few minutes after Lonny left to triple lock the doors leaving me time to ask “Ready for round two?”

(There is a part two and I can edit/post it if you all seem to enjoy this)

[kindnessisweakness2]

{DELUSIONAL-PART 5}

*not my GIF*

Jax had pulled Delaney down on to his lap as everyone started to discuss how to solve the problem. Delaney was frustrated with herself. She shouldn't of let it get this far. She should've been able to solve this herself. She thought of everyone in this room as family and all she'd done is bother them with her problems and put them in danger. "Maybe I should just move away. If I leave charming, the problem goes away and Jax is safe." Every member of the club started to protest her idea. Jax and Gemma being the loudest. "No your not going anywhere. You can't leave me-" Jax coughed his cheeks turning slightly pink. "I mean us! You can't leave us." Before Delaney could over think it Chibs chimed in. "Hold on a wee minute and think about it. What if that's what the sick bastard wants? To get you on your own, your family not around you. No one you can turn to for help. We'll protect you sweetheart, but you have to stay here with us. You belong with us D, this is your home." Delaney smiled softly as chibs patted her hands from across the table.

" I have an idea." Everyone turned to where kip was sat in the corner behind Juice. "What about if I moved in with Delaney? Protect her from this dude?" Delaney couldn't help but smile at Half sack. He really was the cutest thing ever. The sweetest guy. He was going to make some lucky girl very happy one day. Unfortunately for Delaney her heart was set on the guy who didn't want her. And why would he when he had beautiful women falling at his feet everyday? Tigs laughter broke delaney from her thoughts. "You? You couldn't protect yourself prospect!" Chibs snapped at the young lad who was blushing crimson at this point. And ofcourse Tig had to join in. "You'd be too busy panty sniffing you little perv. You think we don't know you fancy her? A few days of living with her you'd be stalker 2.0". Opie, Tig and Juice couldn't contain their laughter as kip went even more red. "That's a good idea" clay pointed out, interrupting the loudness. "What panty sniffing?" Tigs eyes went wide in amusement. Rolling his eyes Clay gave Tig a 'Shut the fuck up' look which seemed to work instantly. "Jax moves in with Delaney and they pretend to be a happy couple. That makes this guy angry, draws him out and we finish him." Delaney's eyes went wide at the suggestion. "Youll have to make it look real. Go in dates, public displays of affection, show her off around the parties, that kinda shit. We need to do it right, we wont get a second shot at fooling this guy, he notices every little thing about her." Jax nodded. "It's a good plan" everyone around the table agreed. Except Delaney that is. "There's just one problem to your little plan." Delaney pointed out. " No one is going to belive me and Jax are together. I'm not his type. He would never go for me. Everyone knows that." Jax started to protest but Tigs laughter cut him off. "It's fine just dye your hair blonde and spend some days working in Luann's studio and everyone will soon buy it". Delaney glared at Tig. She knew he was referring to Ima, the bottle blonde bitch that couldn't keep away from Jax. Just the mention of her name made Delaney angry. " Well then luann is going to lose her top performer. I've kicked her ass once I can do it again. I can shake my ass better than her anyways." Quickly changing the subject before Tig could say anything else, clay turned his attention to Jax. "You've got 2 weeks to finish this. Your free from club business until then." Nodding in response Jax tapped delaney's leg making her stand up. "I'll go pack some things up and we can head to your house." Delaney sat back in his chair as all the members spilled out into the bar area. Picking at her fingers her anxiety was still all over the place. She had extra things to worry about now. How was she supposed to live with Jax, pretend their a couple and keep everything normal between them? Then there was the added worry of him getting hurt by whoever this was. He may not have taken the threat on his life seriously but Delaney did. She couldn't help but worry that something was going to go wrong.

Less than an hour later Delaney and Jax pulled up to her house. Parking her car on her driveway, she looked at the grey door that lead to her home and she didn't want to go in. "It's ok. I'm here remember". Jax tried his best to reassure her but it did little for her nerves. "We got to make this work D. We got to keep you safe." Sighing she nodded at him. " Yeah I get it. Game starts now." She couldn't help the distain in her voice as she exited the car without another glance at Jax. If she had of glanced back she would of seen the flash of hurt that crossed his baby blues at the mention of the game. Little did Delaney know Jax didn't like this either. Climbing out of her car he made his way to the boot smiling as she opened it for him. Grabbing his duffle bag he smiled at her."Thanks Baby" he kissed her cheek softly. Delaney's eyes softened as she smiled at him. This was gonna be a hard two weeks.

Delaney knew deep down that somebody was going to come out of this hurt. And as she let Jax into her home, she couldn't shake the feeling that it was going to be her.

◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇

Part 5 is finally up!! I really hope you guys like this! Don't forget to tell me what you think, I love getting messages from you guys!!

Part 6 will be uploaded either tonight or early morning tomorrow!

Love to you all, stay safe💕

[tomfreakinghollandneedsaoscar]

Ice Cream Princess

Pairing: JJ Maybank x Reader

Summary: There isn't a day that JJ doesn't come to visit you at work. On the day he doesn't, you decide to visit him at work instead.

Word Count: 1,876

Note: A Stranger Things and Outer banks crossover imagine that no one asked for. Please give me feedback on anything but the title, I'm judging it and laughing at myself because of it. I hope you love it!

An ice-cream parlor opens up across the street of The Wreck. The owner quickly judges all of the teenagers that come in looking for a part-time summer job. Luckily for you, your older cousin Robin sweet talks her way - agrees to watch his daughter- to get Hopper to hire you on the spot.

Your favorite co-worker is Steve. Both of you share stories and talk about anything and everything. You're weren't too surprised to find he hang outs with "lil punks".

He has a childish side that comes out when it's you two in the shop. If a touron gives you a weird feeling and tries to flirt with you, Steve takes over like a protective older brother. You started calling him mom when he bossed you around the first time.

Last night there was a party held by the Pogues at the Boneyard. When Robin's girlfriend texts you saying that she woke up with a hangover, you agree with her that it would be best if you cover her shrift.

When you get to the shop on your bike, you park it next to Steve car and cringe when the annoying front door bell rings as you enter. "I'm surprised to see your face this morning."

"Good or bad surprised, mom?" He rolls his eyes as you walk past him and pat his shoulder.

He yells, "the worst!" As you make your way to the small back room and put your backpack in your locker.

You grab the lanyard Pope gave to you and trace the lil doodles Kiara drew on your nametag.

Clocking in, you wave at Hopper through his open office window. He learns further in his chair, arms across his chest.

"You work too much."

"You don't pay me enough."

Humming to the radio that's connected to the speakers that hang from the ceiling, you look over Steve shoulder to see which Playlist he's playing.

You mutter, "I hate that thing" when the bell rings.

JJ is leading everyone, arms flaring around as he jumps on top of the counter. He bends one knee underneath his other leg to sit more comfortably sideways and grins at you.

"You're ass is going to break that and you'll have to pay for it."

"Are you telling me I have a fat ass?" He puts a hand over his heart and fakes cries. "That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me, Princess."

You shove him off, chuckling when he almost doesn't save his fall and trip over his own two feet.

"So dramatic like always and Y/N is still my name." You point down at your nametag. "Y/N. Not Princess."

"What do you guys want today?" Steve asks.

JJ glares at him but smirks when you pick up a scoop. He leans over the counter and says, "I'll like a lick of that."

You tell Pope thank you for slapping JJ in the back of the head, making his gray and red snapback fall off.

He runs his fingers through his hair and you barely catch it when throws it towards you.

"You would look better in it than that." He reaches over to tap on your uniform hat wear.

You blush at the hidden complaint and slap his hand away.

"Stop flirting." John B says as he hands over JJ his ice cream.

Kiara slightly pushes him towards the table, they always sit at.

Steve smirks as he leans against the counter. "Princess?"

In the corner of your eye, you see JJ giving himself whiplash. You know Steve is on a mission to find a nickname for you, especially something that you hate as much as he hates 'mom'.

But JJ doesn't. "It's a long story."

"I'll love to hear it someti-"

JJ claps his hands together as the chair slides across the floor as he stands up. "Once upon a time, little miss Y/N dressed up as a princess one Halloween. There was a picture of proof that her mother gladly showed me. Ever since, I've called her Princess and one day she'll call me her Prince. The end."

Sarah 'awwws' and says, "That's actually really adorable."

"Thank you, I know." JJ says proudly and you both smile at each other.

─────

During your next shift, it's only John B and JJ.

"Well hello there boys."

JJ takes off his sunglasses off slowly and puts his arm on the counter. "Princess."

You try not to pay attention to how good his arms look with his gray tank top.

You're the one who breaks eye contact. You don't miss the little fist pump he does but you miss how his shoulders drop when you look at him after seeing how panic John B looks.

Oh, right.

"We need to get the biggest bowl of Sarah's favorite ice cream. Her monthly came to visit and John B, the sweetheart idiot he is, doesn't remember her flavor."

You make 'o' shape with your mouth. "Got it. It's the end of the world for him. Well lucky for you, I know it."

John B screams out, "I owe you one" as he grabs the cup container from you and runs out to the Van.

JJ puts money in the tip jar. "From future Sarah."

After you watch him put his sunglasses back on and the door bell rings when the door closes, Robin pinches your leg.

"Are you going to start helping me again with this or am I going to have to restock everything myself?"

Blushing, you say, "I'm not Steve."

She stops laughing after a few seconds to say, "I bet you that JJ knows his Princess favorite ice cream flavor."

"Shut up."

─────

Pope, Kiara, and JJ all give you a pointed look when they stop by the shop before seeing a movie. The movie you agreed to go to one minute but then the next you said "wait sorry, I have to work." and hanged up on JJ.

"I'm about to drag you and your cute stubborn ass out of here for once and all, Princess."

Kiara has a hand on her hip, when she says, "You need to take a break."

You close your eyes and throw your head back, annoyed that she's right. "You guys know how much I need this job and the money."

A look of understanding crosses JJ's face but he straightens himself and says in a stern voice, "You are also supposed to have fun with your friends once a while."

"I know that!" He doesn't flinch at you raising your voice.

Thinking he's used to it, your heart and face fall.

"I- I'm sorry. How about we all hangout tomorrow at the Chateau and relax? Or we can do anything you guys want to do. Let John B and Sarah know and-"

JJ strides behind the counter and pulls you in a hug. No one words are needed when you shove your face against his chest and catch your breathing.

Pope puts a hand on his shoulder. "Come on, JJ. We're going to be late."

"You know what? I'm actually in the mood for ice cream not theater popcorn. Go on without me."

Kiara tells you both goodbye and Pope mouths "whipped" and does the wrapped around a finger hand's motion as she pulls him away.

You look up at JJ. "You didn't have to do that."

"Do what?" His cocky grin becomes bigger when you roll your eyes before helping a costumer. He leaves the counter to sit at the table, hands on the bottom of his chin as he does silly faces from behind the stranger's shoulder.

─────

Steve looks up when he hears the bell ring and watches as JJ loses his step.

Before he can walk away, Steve says, "She will be back shortly. I sent her to the bank real quick for more change."

JJ lets the door close behind him. He takes a big breath in as he turns around. "You trust her that much, huh?"

"Don't you?"

JJ lets out a dark laugh. "It's different. You get payed to see her, I do it because I want to."

That's Steve's breaking point. "Okay, I don't understand why or how you started hating me the first time you met me but I think I can get a wild guess why. A attractive, couple of years older comes into her life. You're jealous over nothing, dude. I see her as annoying little sister. And yeah, I get payed to do this shitty job but when she's working too, she makes it fun."

"Are you done?" JJ is looking at anything but him.

"One more thing, don't waste anymore time."

Steve looks at the clock on the wall and figures you'll be back any minute.

"I have to get to work." JJ looks over his shoulder.

He opens his mouth but changes his mind, and closes it and walks out.

On the other side of the sidewalk, he doesn't stop when you call out his name.

──────

"Funny seeing you're here."

JJ slams his tray down on the table next to yours. "I work here."

He stops wiping it down and gets the sudden urge to squirt you with the cleaning product bottle when he hears you tapping your feet against the chair across on of your table.

When he looks around and notices there aren't a lot of people in the dinner room he sits down and huffs and puffs. "Why are you here?"

"What? You can come visit me at work but I can't?"

When you both notice another bus boy, you let JJ grab the nearest glass pitcher and pull you some water.

"Now you can't walk away and ignore me, like how you did a couple of hours ago."

"I'm sure Steve told you all about it." The biter in his voice makes you lean over the table to grab his hand.

He jumps but doesn't pull away.

"He told me that you came in the shop, you looked like a little lost puppy when you made eye contact with him instead of me. You guys actually had somewhat of a conversation, which, I'm surprised actually happened."

JJ smiles a little as you start spinning one of his rings. "Steve didn't tell me what it was about...at first."

JJ can't sit still.

He stands up and as he talks, he walks in pace. "He, he uh- shit. Fuck, okay. He got in my head. I couldn't talk to you cause I didn't want to say something that would ruin our friendship. I didn't even know how I would say it-to be honest, still don't but you're smart, I think you know where am I going with this-"

He stops talking, mid-sentence when you laugh. "JJ, just say it or I'll crush your ego by saying it first."

"I love you." He says it over and over again in the middle of the kisses after you say it back.

He stops when someone yells his name and tells him to get back to work.

You give him a quick peak and have to put your hands on top of his to move them off of your hips.

"I'll see you later, JJ. We can go watch a movie?"

"Sounds like a date, Princess."

[deberiaestarescribiendo]

Desperate situations call for desperate measures. #Writer Wednesday 21/04/21

Pairing: Dave York x F!reader

Summary: You're desperate, with nothing to lose you accept helping one of your friends in what looks to be a very dubious job and the man in charge intimidates you and owns every single one of your thoughts since you met him

Warnings: I mean is Murder daddy Dave 🤷‍♀️. Blood, violence, guns, swearing, descriptions of anxiety and panic and sexual innuendo. Nothing too graphic but let me know if I should note anything else, thanks

A/N: I blame my national public TV channel for broadcasting The Equalizer 2 a few weeks ago, now I have THOTS and reading many amazing Fanfics on this site it's making it worse. Another Pedro's character I'm fascinated by (and would gladly be railed by). This is my second piece for #Writer Wednesday thank you for this again @autumnleaves1991-blog 🤗 I’m super excited to read what everybody has prepared for this week. No beta’d, sorry for any misspelling and terrible grammar.

Everything that could go wrong went wrong.

Suddenly you’re walking with a pair of stupid high heels in a cold muddy path, there’s nothing but a few street lamps but this white fog surrounds the night like a thick cape blocking their light so you can see nothing, even the moon is invisible and above you there’s an only a dark immensity without stars.

Fuck, fuck, fuck you repeat trembling, this stupid silky dress and the thin shawl you wear doesn’t protect you for this freezing night. Stupid fucking dress, stupid fucking heels you mutter, your teeth chatter and you try to focus on the road and finding anything that could get you out of here without getting yourself killed. Your shoes appear to have heard your complaints when they snap and break and you almost fall down.

“FUCK!” you scream this time and instantly regretting it, you don’t know who could be listening. Now you can walk faster but the probability to lose one or a few of your toes is getting higher every minute that you expend walking barefoot through this dreadful place.

As an apparition, a miracle, you see a dim white light at the end of the road. You run, you could even smile if your face muscles were not frozen. You feel your tears forming warm trickles on your cheeks when you arrive to the phone booth. You haven’t use one in years, even thought they were extinct but now it is as if you had found God.

You open your small red velvet purse, so pathetically small that your phone couldn’t fit in it so you gave it to Tom, and now what? It’s inside his pocket, probably soaked in his blood. Soaked in blood of your dead friend. You stupid friend that got you into this situation on the first place.

“Whatever happens, if everything goes to shit, call this number” he had told you giving you a white card, a number and a name on it: Dave.

Your hands shake so much that you almost drop the card, but you place it on the small tray full of vulgar vocabulary and very graphic drawings inside the booth. You thank karma or whatever it’s up there that all your cards got cancelled last month and recently you relay on cash. A few quarters and cents, a few bills that you had stolen on your way to the club where you were supposed to do the jobwere all you had on your name now. And the rest, what you had saved, your clothes and the few luxuries you own; a book, an old picture and a plant, are gone, forever, they’re at Tom’s house and you know now that he’s dead and has botched the job you could never return to his home if you want to keep being alive. You stretch your fingers and take a deep breath before dropping the coins and dialing the number.

Please pick up, please pick up

You see the counter on the small screen eating your coins away. And you don’t have anything else

Please, please

“York”

his voice is deep, a slight tone of annoyance in it, logically because you’re calling at 2 AM

“Dave?”

“Yes, who’s this?” you shudder hearing him, you convince yourself it’s because you’re cold but you know it’s not. You’re thinking of the man that owns this velvety voice: brown dark eyes piercing you as if you were made of paper and he could read every little corner and secret that you keep

“I’m Tom’s friend, he’s dead, and now I’m on the middle of nowhere and I need help, please” you plea, your last words sound more like a little girl whimpers

“I’m on my way” and he hangs up

You’re left there looking even more scared and confused. You recoil to the small protection of the booth waiting for that man. That man that lurks in your dreams, that scares you and intrigues you and that has occupied every thought since you met him.

A week ago

“So, explain to me again, what are we doing?”

“You need the money or not?” Tom stops and confronts you in the middle of the road

“I need it, of course, but I want to know what I’m getting myself into before ending up dead or in jail” you say not moving until he is a little clearer

“We’re meeting with one of my boss’ men and he will give us something to hand to someone else in a place and a time they had accorded. And that’s it. You and I get paid and everybody’s happy” he says with a desperate smile “C’mon” he approaches you and squeeze gently your arms, he even bends a little to meet your gaze “you know I have many friends and I have proposed this to you, only you, haven’t I? Cos I trust you” he adds

“Because I’m fucking broke, Tom. The rest of your friends wouldn’t be as desperate as me” You blurt

“Okay, let’s meet him and if it doesn’t convince you, I’ll do it alone. C’mon, let’s not be late, he would not like that”

You nod reluctantly. You hope this dude would pay for lunch, you’re starving, you had some instant noodles last night and today your breakfast was the crumbs of cereals that Tom had left because he was too lazy to throw away the box.

The restaurant is clearly not made for people like you and Tom, the employees look at you up and down but when they’re about to kick you out, a big man approaches them and he guides you to a part of the local that is quite with a warm and intimate light. There’re a few tables but they’re all empty, the last one is occupied by a well-dressed man that looks at the both of you intently.

Your first thought is that he doesn’t look as you had expected. You were sure that Tom was involved with drug dealers and whatever the job entitled was about drugs, weapons or both. He looks like a middle-age business man, or a public agent. He wears a tailored dark gray suit, an elegant wool coat and he’s clean shaven, elegant shoes, expensive, you think. God, make him be nice enough so he pays for lunch

When you face him, although you stay behind Tom, your theories about the man crumble. His eyes, those dark brown orbs, are fixed at Tom and his defined jaw clenches, in a second his eyes are on you and you can’t stand his gaze much longer.

“Hi, Dave, I didn’t know I would be seeing you, I thought I’d be meeting Resnik as usual” Tom voice is high and shaky, so it confirms your thoughts; the man is dangerous even if he doesn’t look like it

“This is important, and you came accompanied” he tilts his head to you

“I thought this was a job for two” Tom takes a sit in front of him and Dave leans on his seat stretching his shoulders, he’s broad, strong, how did you think this man was no threat at all?

“You thought” he smirks and you freeze on your feet, is it too late to run away? “And what’s your name?”

You tell him, your voice sounds pathetic, a little too squeaky. He smiles and wet his lips with the tip of his tongue and suddenly every coherent thought that you could think is out of the window.

“Please take a sit” Dave appears to be a little bit more relax now, he crosses his hands over the table and smiles to the two of you “So why do you think you could be of service?”

“Well, it’s a club, a guy alone is usually a creep but if we go together we’re a couple, and they wouldn’t look at me if I’m with her” he chuckles and points at you

You open your mouth about to insult Tom and seeing that his intentions could be way more different that you thought. You’re not doing that kind of job

“Yeah” Dave agrees and looks at you up and down, he doesn’t avert his eyes when you look at him with you eyebrow raised. He’s not ashamed, he’s checking you out and he wants you to know it “It’s actually not a bad plan”

“I’m sorry, but whatis the plan?” you interrupt

“It’s simple, you and your boyfriend...”

“He’s not my boyfriend” you clarify

“Right” he seems to think about that for a few seconds, before he resumes the conversation “You two go to this club, there, you’ll meet the contact and you’ll give them this” he raises his hand and the big man that had previously taken you to the table gives him a black briefcase “There’re two things that are extremely important” He pushes the case towards you “one, you cannot open it and see what’s inside, I’ll know if you do. Two, whatever happens you must acquire the envelope that the contact would give to you in exchange for this”

“Consider it done, Dave” Tom reaches for the man and gently taps on his arm. You watches as the man tenses when he’s touched and if looks could kill...Tom would be dead on the ground in this very second

“I’m sorry, can I ask you a question?” you raise your hand and the tense moment passes when Dave looks at you and he’s smiling, actually a very warm smile

“Of course”

“You said whatever happens, what could happen? Who are we meeting?” you ask, Tom opens widely his eyes and kicks you under the table

“Don’t worry Tom, they are actually pretty good questions” when he switches his eyes to Tom, he’s back to that opaque stare that makes you tremble “I’m not going to lie to you, sweetheart” he sighs, the endearing term has made your belly turn and it’s not hunger, at least not the food type “this people are dangerous, and they could try to trick you into changing the terms of the agreement, or ask questions about me or any other thing, and you must stay put and seal the deal fast and easy. Don’t do anything stupid”

“Right... what’s inside the case?” you ask again, you try really hard not to avert your eyes, he has his eyes fixed on you, his gaze goes from your eyes to your lips and you squirm on your seat.

“I cannot tell you that” he shakes his head “but it’s something valuable, you have to be very careful with it”

“If we are caught by the police with that” you point to the briefcase “are we gonna be in trouble?”

He smirks and crosses his arms over his chest; you cannot prevent your eyes from admiring how the fabric of his clothes tenses around his muscles.

“You don’t have to worry about the police” he assures

“I feel you’re telling us not to worry about many things and I think it’s on the contrary we have too many things to worry about...with all due respect” you add, Tom kicks you harder this time and giggles nervously

“It’s your first time, it’s natural! I’ve done a few times, you don’t have to worry, you’ll be with me! right, Dave?” Tom slaps him on his shoulder again playfully and the man flinches and has a menacing look if you do it one more time, asshole, we’re going to die right here right now you think

“Right” he answers “Tom, why don’t you go with Kovac to the car you’ll use for the job, there you’ll have the phones and everything you’ll need to complete the mission” he says eventually. The big man, Kovac, approaches the table and stands besides Tom until he gets up to follow him.

You stand up too, thinking that the lunch is over.

“Stay, please” Dave grabs your wrist softly and you gasp when you feel his warm touch

“I-I” you stutter

“Don’t you want to eat anything? I sense you have more questions” he doesn’t let go of your hand, he brushes his fingers softly where you skin is thinner and you feel your pulse rushing, surely he does too

“Yes...I mean I could eat something” you sit, the rumbling on your belly confirms your hunger

“Order anything you want” he stands up and raises a hand towards a waitress. She rushes to the table with the menus while Dave takes off his coat and jacket, he raises his sleeves carefully and you are not aware that you’ve been staring at him the whole time with eyes wide open and lips partially parted, you’re completely dumb by his presence. He’s tall, strong and broad and you can’t smell his cologne and his aftershave from there and all you can think is coming closer to him and tasting his neck.

You look down the menu suddenly when you find that Dave has caught you admiring him and is smiling slyly at you.

“Anything you like?” he asks

“Yeah...I’d like...” you read as fast as you can trying to find something, the prices are ridiculous “the salad” you answer

“You can order anything, sweetheart” the term makes you skin tingle again, he’s voice is actually sweet and his smile docile this time when he sits again facing you

The waitress comes back and asks for your order but it’s smiling widely to Dave.

“So what you would like to order, sir?”

“We’re both getting the prime steak” he answers and you blush, of course you’d like to eat that but it’s so freaking expensive you didn’t even think about that

“Fries or roasted vegetables?” she taps on the screen

“Both” yes, you cheer inside your head, you’re going to eat properly for the first time in months

You actually don’t care about the job or Dave or anything when the plate arrives, and certainly you have forgotten about your friend, it’s been long enough but the scent of the meat makes your mouth water. You have forgotten your manners too; you attack the steak as if you were a caveman. The pleasure of the first bite makes you moan and wiggle or your seat.

“It’s good, isn’t it?” Dave comments and you’re suddenly aware of where you are and with whom, he has an amused look

“Thank you” you say with your mouth full

“It’s nothing”

“I looked that hungry, huh? that’s why you ordered this?”

“Yes, you seemed to need a bit of protein. Protein makes you brain function properly and I need you sharp and quick if you’re going to work for me” he says picking from his plate

“You think I will work for you, I mean for longer than just this one job?” you scoff, you’re desperate, but you want to keep on the good track, find a proper job, a small apartment and stay out of trouble

“You don’t want to? I think you need the job” he licks his lips and you are again looking longer than you should

“Yes, but I need a proper job, a salary each month a conventional one. No offence”

“None taken. So you’re not like your friend”

“No, I guess I’m not. I’m just in a rough patch. Desperate situations calls for desperate measures” You shrug

“Hmm” he hums “I’m glad I can help you out of it then” he adds

“Yes, thank you. Though I’m still thinking that it could get me more trouble than I already have” you counter

“No if you’re smart and I think you’re a pretty smart girl”

“You’ve just met me”

“I’m good at reading people, part of the job” he shrugs

“So I’m a hungry desperate smart girl. Seems accurate”

“Pretty” he completes

“What?” you ask thinking you had heard him wrong

“I said you’re a hungry―I hope not anymore― desperate, pretty comma smart girl. Pretty as an adjective” he clarifies

You blush and look at him opening and closing your mouth searching for words

In that moment, Kovac and Tom arrive. The large man nods to Dave, and Tom looks at you and your half empty plate with a confused look.

“I have to go, but please, sit and finish your dish, you can order whatever you want too, Tom. Everything is on me. You don’t have to worry” Dave stands up and puts his jacket and coat back. You think you see a little bit of disappointment on his face. He reaches his hand to you, you drop the fork thinking that he wants to shake your hand but he brushes his thumb over your lower lip where a drop of the meat’s blood and sauce stains your chin.

“It’s been a pleasure” he says and then licks his thumb. He goes before you can answer and Tom is talking to you but you don’t listen.

All you could think was him, repeating that moment again and again in your mind.

“Are you listening?”

“Huh?”

“I told you about the car they gave us. It’s pretty cool”

You smile and focus on your plate, the juicy meat is delicious but all that passes through your brain is his lips. You bite and moan loudly.

Two hours before the phone booth call

The club is actually a house, a clandestine local in a remote place full of people playing poker and other types of game betting more money than you’ve ever seen. You and Tom arrive there holding hands, his left hand holding the briefcase. Tom had bought you your outfit, high heels that you don’t know how to walk with, a very revealing dress and the idiot forgot you hadn’t a proper coat to wear with this and here you are in the middle of winter with a shawl. Luckily the place is warm enough and you just suffered during the time you run to the entry from the parking.

The establishment smells like alcohol and cigars, its red velvet walls reminds you of the interior of a coffin and that image makes you shiver. You try not to look at anybody and focus on following Tom to the black armored door at the back. When you arrive he knocks twice before a small slot opens and a man asks for a password.

“Just like spy movies, huh?” Tom smiles and you would laugh but you’re terrified. Once that door closes behind you, there’s no way out

A large man dressed in black escort you through a red lighted aisle towards another armored door. This time he’s the one knocking twice, the slots opens and when a pair of eyes look through it you hear the locks being unlocked before they open it.

There’re ten people inside, chatting over a black table with some glasses on it. The conversation stops when you enter. Without a sign some of them are escorted out and only three men stay.

“Sit please, your girl can serve herself a drink” one man says, sitting at the center of the table. He’s dressed also in black, he’s blond hair sleek and shiny with hair gel “I guess you have something for me”

“Yes” Tom approaches the table and places the briefcase at the center. You do as you’ve been told and approach the bar full of different drinks. You’re too nervous to drink but you grab one of the empty glasses and pour some liquor in it. Your back is pressed against the sticky wood and you try to act casual.

The second man on the left takes it and opens it and shows it to the two other. There’s only one light in the room above the table and from here you can’t see much but it’s clear that the briefcase is full of money.

“Excellent. Did you know how much there is inside it?” the blond man ask Tom

“No” Tom seems relaxed, his arm leans on his chair and has his legs crossed

“There’s half a million here” he answers

“Wow!” Tom laughs

“For such a tiny thing” the man grabs something from his pocket and places a small white envelope on the table “Do you know what this is?”

“No”

And we don’t want to know you answer in your head Gosh Tom, let’s go

“Just an address. Somebody really valuable for your boss, look how much he’s paying. This poor fellow” he taps over the envelope “it’s nobody to me, that’s why I’m willing to trade this simple information knowing it will get him killed, but I have another deal for you, one that I’m really interested in”

Say no, no, we have to go now you clear your throat to get his attention but Tom ignores you

“You just have to let us track you to the place where you’ll meet your boss. And you can take the case back with you and I promise one similar to this one will find you once we kill your boss” he offers. Tom bites the inside of his cheek and hums

“Just track me?”

No, no, no you scream inside. You place the glass on the bar loudly but Tom is fixed with hungry eyes on the case.

“Let us install a simple tracking device to your car. And take this” he pushes the open briefcase “it’s yours”

Tom smiles and grabs it “Thank you”

“My colleague will accompany you to your car” the blonde man smiles back and the other man that reminded silent during the meeting gets up to follow Tom back to the car.

You walk to the table before they leave.

“I’m sorry, but he’ll need the envelope for the meeting. He cannot present himself empty handed, he will be dead before you could find his boss and they will make sure it’s the right one” you say shyly

“You’re a smart girl” the blond says “Here you are” he tends the paper and you force a smile.

You rush towards Tom and grab his hand. The man follows you a few meters away in silence. So you grab Tom by the waist and faking a smile whispers to his ear “What the fuck are you doing? Dave is going to kill us. You betrayed him”

“It’s a million dollars and they can take care of Dave for all I know he can die, he was paying a misery and I’m the one getting my ass in danger, don’t I?” he says back

“It’s better than being dead. And he’s going to kill us both and I did nothing, you betrayed me too”

“Calm down! I’m going to give you a part of this. Isn’t this what you wanted?” He has to raise his voice over the music once you arrive to public part of the club

“I didn’t want to die, I just want money to start again, not being involved in killing people and shit” you accused back

“Yeah right and it has nothing to do with you making eyes to Dave during lunch. Gosh, you’re pathetic. Shut up, take the money, and we will see each other never again” he pushes you from him clearly not caring to keep the being a couple front anymore.

When you arrive to the parking, Tom leaves the briefcase on the back seat. You stand a few meters away not knowing what to do. Tom is the only way out from here but you don’t want to participate in his treason.

“Open the driver’s door” the man says standing behind Tom

“Right away, brother”

Everything happens in an instant. You hear the gasp, the air leaving Tom’s body and his corpse hitting the ground more than the shot. Once the man raises the gun to you, you’re already running away.

You hear the bullets breaking the air and you run faster, tears running from your eyes but your bite your lips to prevent you from crying out loud knowing that he can hear you. Once your chest hurts and burns you stop, hidden in the tall grass you listen intently trying to know if he’s following you. And you wait. And you wait more.

You crouch down and you suddenly remember that you’re holding so hard to your purse and the little piece of paper that your hand hurts. You hold the envelope to your heart and sit on the cold mud because your legs cannot hold you any longer.

Present. Phone Booth

You think about the trip from town to this place and try to calculate how long it would take Dave to arrive. And it’s long and probably you’ll be dead before he comes even close. The men from the club must be looking for you. You’re a loose end, you know their faces and their place, everything. And you know Dave too. Shit.What are you going to tell him? Yes, Tom betrayed you but I didn’t. I actually didn’t want to do it, but did I prevent it? I couldn’t but what would he think? You’re a loose end for him too.

You know he runs shady business. And for all he knows you wanted to take the money as well and just was quicker on your feet so you ran away. He doesn’t know you; he knew Tom and he betrayed him. How could he trust you?

You need something, something to make him think you are true, that you didn’t betray him. And though you felt something in your little lunch together, he could just be playing with you or interested in a carnal way. God knows you had had very inappropriate thoughts about him too, but that doesn’t make you any less of a traitor. Pretty he said, pretty enough to be kept alive even though he doesn’t know if he can trust you? You don’t think so.

Whatever happens you must acquire the envelope he had said. So you open it. There’s a simple address on it:

8518 Rayburn Rd, Bethesda, MD 20817

So you expend the rest of the time repeating again and again. Until the pair of lights of the car appear through the fog. You hope it’s Dave and not the men from the club If it’s so I’ve expended my last moments alive memorizing a stupid address. Great.

The black car drives slowly until it’s a few meters away. You grab the paper and make a ball out of it and swallow it fast chewing hard. It’s horrible, raspy and muddy, but you know that throwing it wouldn’t do it as well as tear it apart. The paper needs to disappear; you must be indispensable to him.

You actually cry in relief when Dave calls your name and you run towards the lights. You actually don’t think your action but when you see his shape you run faster and hug him tightly. He’s warm and smells delicious as you noticed at the restaurant. He tenses at first but then he holds you back, gently patting your head and hushing you with calming noises.

“You’re alright, you’re safe now” you know it’s not actually true but in that second you enjoy it “Get in the car, you’re freezing” he caresses your arms up and down trying to warm you

When you get in the car, you feel as you have step inside the gates of heaven. It’s warm and cozy, the leather is the softest thing you have ever felt and everything smells like Dave. He gets in the driver’s seat and grabs something from the back: his wool coat and throws it over you and tucks you in it. He stays in silence for a few minutes and you feel yourself doze off when he speaks in a soft and low tone.

“So what happened?” he sighs and leans on his seat turning to you

“Tom was a fucking idiot” you spat and he grins “They offered him the money inside the briefcase for your location and promised him more money” you speak the truth, you know there’s no point in lying to him “He accepted and well, I didn’t know what to say, I tried to change his mind but it was too late”

“What happened to the envelope?” he asks

“I took it”

“Can you give it to me?” he reaches a hand and you see he’s wearing leather gloves, actually he’s completely dressed in black

“No” you say and you bite your lip

“You lost it?” he asks and you cannot read what’s going through his mind but his eyes are fixed on you, darker than you remembered

“No” you say

“You have to give it to me” he says and his voice gets lower, it should be menacing, it is, but you feel your lower belly twist

“I ate it” you answer

“You did what?” he looks surprise but you cannot tell if he’s mad or amused

“I remember the address” you take out one single finger from under the coat and point to your temple “I memorized it and ate it so you wouldn’t kill me”

Dave stays there in silence for a few minutes, and then smirks and chuckles

“Very good” he praises “You did very good” he reaches for you cheek and brushes his leather gloved hands tenderly “Good girl” his voice is low and deep and it makes you squirm under your cover, his coat, that smells just like him.

“You’re not going to kill me?” you murmur

“No, I cannot do it now, don’t I?” he smiles at you

“But what about when I tell you the address and you kill whoever lives there, what then?” you say, now that you’re warm enough you are aware of the mess you made of his car, mud stains everywhere, his coat is ruined “I’m a witness and now I know you’re about to kill somebody” you add

“You remember what I told you at the restaurant?” he asks and starts the car finally moving from this dreadful place

Yes, you called me sweetheart a couple of times and then called me pretty you want to answer

“I told you about working for me” he reminds you

“You want me to work for you?”

“Yes. I want it since I first met you, sweetheart” you actually surprise yourself once you feel that you’re smiling when he calls you that again

“You trust me? But Tom...”

“Tom was Tom, you are you. And I trust you to be smarter than he was. You have proved it to me, he failed the test he had to pass” you admire his strong big hands on the wheel and his straight posture that allows you to marvel at his features and his long neck

“What test?” you say after scolding yourself for looking at him like an idiot

“This test”

“This was a test? What?” you cry

“Not in the sense that it was prepared, of course. Those men were very much interested in me and my team, and I knew they were trying to get some of my men to turn. I have to test Tom before he entered the team for more complicated tasks, I had to know if he was ready, and he wasn’t”

“And why did you let me get in this?”

“That was his first mistake. Never ever” he points with his finger “tell another person about the job or try to get somebody on it without me asking first. I allowed it because I saw something in you. A hunger”

“Is that a joke?” you ask

“I guess” he smirks “but also true, you said it yourself ‘desperate situations call for desperate measures’ That was what got me on this kind of job on the first place. I liked you, I’d just hoped you were as smart as you looked and got out there alive. And you did”

“What if I don’t want it?” you mutter

“Hmm” he evaluates for a moment “Again, I hope you’re smarter than that and refuse the only chance you have. I mean, you have been evicted, all your accounts cancelled, you don’t have a family and the relatives that you still have you wouldn’t contact them even if you were dying, so, I’m the only thing you got, sweetheart”

“Did you investigate me?” you ask after a few quite minutes. He’s right, you know that

“Yes, I have to know everything if you’re going to be part of the team” he admits with a shrug

“I know nothing about you, or your team, how am I going to trust you?” you demur

“You will learn to trust me and the team once you’re trained” he explains

“Train? Who’s going to train me? and for what?”

“I’m going to train you. I’m going to train you until you’re what I want and what I need and in time; I think it will be a satisfying ending for both of us and this situation”

“What kind of job would I do?”

“Kill” he says simple and straightforward

You shiver at his words and hold tight to his coat. Do you really want to be an assassin? Do you have a choice?

He stops the car. You don’t have a house, you have nothing, only this, a dirty dress and a borrowed coat and the help of a man you’re sure could and would kill you without hesitation. And though, you have no choice there’s a side of you that’s dying to surrender to him, to let him make you what he wants. You desire to be his, you want to be what he wants, what he needs but not as his associate, not exactly like that.

“So what do you say? Do you want to be mine?” you squirm on your seat.

“Yes”

[cultofbeatles]

beginners guide to the beatles

 made one of these a long time ago but i'm surprised by how short it was. so here we go again. doing it right this time lol. 

pov: you told a bad joke and now the beatles are judging you. 

john winston lennon. later in his life known as john winston ono lennon. 

born on october 9, 1940 

i believe in astrology bc how does john just happen to be a libra 

when john was four he started living with his aunt mimi who acted more as his mother figure 

his mother, julia, remarried and would visit him quite a bit.

it was julia who taught john how to play banjo and piano. and she bought his first guitar.

they both had a deep love for music and rock n roll 

he never really thought of her as his mother but more as a cool friend i suppose 

aunt mimi was more rough on him and did the disciplining 

his father was never really present growing up and his uncle passed away when he was young 

he thought he was a curse for the men in his family 

he had five half siblings. two of them, julia and jacqueline, he was pretty close to. the other three he barely knew. 

fashion icon.

hated school but loved art 

very early on he was insecure with himself 

teachers always shit on him and said he would go nowhere in life 

he met paul at a church fete on july 6, 1957 

paul taught him how to play guitar properly.

once told paul that he didnt know how paul carried on after his mother died bc he just didn't think he could do it 

john’s mother died from being hit by an off duty policemen. john was seventeen at the time. 

 he took her death really hard and became a bit of a recluse. 

first serious relationship was with cynthia (we stan her) 

once cynthia cut her hair short and he didn't talk to her for two days. 

hate men. kill all men. 

when he asked her to dance at a party she turned him down saying that she was engaged, and so he said “well i didn't ask you to fucking marry me, did i?” 

slapped her once bc he was drunk and another boy was talking to her.

only time her hit her.

read cynthia’s books about john pls. i beg. 

once a psychic told him that he would be shot in the states.

founder of the beatles and also came up with the name.

instruments he could play: guitar, harmonica, rhythm guitar, banjo, keyboard, piano, saxophone, bass guitar, and a little drums. 

main songwriter in the beatles along with paul.

was more open minded to change in the beatles music. 

was insecure in his relationship with paul after a while bc he thought he only needed him for songwriting. 

would bitch about paul all day long but the second anyone else said something about him he’d be on their ass. 

had a lot of issues and needed a good hug. 

suffered from eating disorders, drug addictions, depression, insecurities, and questioned his sexuality bc of the time. 

was super open minded and ahead of his time in many instances. 

once he was called “the fat beatle” and after that he stopped eating as much.

truly loved his first son, julian lennon, and would buy him presents all the time bc he was excited to see him play with them.

“your famous ex husband”

he enjoyed playing monopoly. 

he once claimed that he saw a ufo.

he had written three books but he always wanted to write a children's book.

 the last song he ever performed in front of a live audience was “i saw her standing there.” with elton john.

he was afraid of the dark. 

found out later in his life that he was dyslexic. 

was also legally blind without glasses.

never could catch a break huh.

said that his best lyric ever was “all you need is love” i agree.

the first time yoko and john met was not at her art exhibit but actually when she approached him about giving away songs for free.

wanted to write a musical with paul. 

once a friend dared him to masturbate ten times in one day and he managed to do it nine times.

would hold circle jerks with paul and a few other friends. 

just dudes being dudes. 

went on a holiday with brian epstein, who was gay, and told some people afterward that they did certain sexual things. but we will never know for sure.

yoko says that john was bisexual.

once in an interview he said that he would of married a rich man or woman if he wasn't in the beatles. 

hated his voice on records. would always ask for effects on his voice for final recordings. 

made a film with yoko where it was just his penis going from flaccid to erect for fifteen minutes in slow motion. 

only beatle not to of become a vegetarian while he was alive. 

murdered on december 8, 1980.

gave his autograph earlier in the day to the man who would murder him.

died at the age of 40.

“all my loving” was played while he was at the hospital.

and its spooky bc a lot of times in interviews he would say “when i'm 40..” 

and it’s sad bc he was finally becoming who he truly wanted to be. 

honorable john moments that i love:

“thanks for the purpler hearts” he says while receiving the silver heart 

“you are the first person from liverpool that i've ever seen” “great”

eric lennon on my mind today 

this come together performance where he messed up the lyrics lol

that interview where paul was sick and john keep checking on him 

john lennon speaking nothing but facts 

when he said that he could see the beatles going separate ways but that they'd always come back together.

SHUT UP 

“shut up while he’s talking..”

this interview breaks my heart sometimes 

and this interview is great as well 

sir james paul mccartney 

born on june 18, 1942

if you ever have spare time just check out this man’s natal chart. 

idk how he’s still alive with his chart tbh. 

he has a younger brother named mike and a step sister named ruth. 

his dad thought he was the ugliest baby he’d ever seen when he was born. 

when he was young paul would kill frogs in a way to prepare himself for the war if he ever was drafted. 

the first instrument he ever learned to play was the trumpet.

I don't even want to list every instrument this man can play but trust me when I say it’s a lot.

but for the beatles he mainly did bass, vocals, and piano. sometimes playing the guitar and the drums.

the beatles was just paul moving really, really fast. 

he lost his mother when he was 14 due to surgery for breast cancer.

never really learned how to cope well with loss of a loved one tbh. 

had the cutest chubby cheeks as a kid tbh 

met john and was accepted into his band 

sometimes they'd ditch school together and either work on music or would visit art galleries.

went to paris with john and john bought him all the banana milkshakes that he wanted.

connected over their love and admiration for music, and bc they had both lost their mothers. 

had a girlfriend’s mom who he would make comb his leg hairs. 

was an ass to his first girlfriend.

kill all men again. 

almost had to marry his girlfriend dot bc she was pregnant, but she ended up losing the baby.

was the one who introduced george harrison to john.

practically despised pete best and stuart stutcliffe bc they were bringing the group down. 

got arrested along with pete best bc they lit a condom on fire in hamburg.

still felt awful and a little guilty when stuart died suddenly. 

main force behind the beatles imo. 

without him we’d have not as much beatles music as we do. 

was dating jane asher throughout majority of the sixties. 

when they first met they talked about syrup and paul fell in love.

they broke things off after she walked in on him sleeping with another woman though.

directed magical mystery tour and it was amazing and I don't care what anyone says ok?

when john divorced cynthia he was the only one not scared of john and went against his wishes of not speaking to cynthia.

was a little controlling at times. 

has a good heart though. 

mal evans had to drive him home once after a beatles sessions bc he was crying so hard. 

was talking about getting the band back to touring when john said he was leaving the group. 

everyone kind of turned against him when the beatles were breaking up and i hate it.

he just wanted what was best for the band.

married linda and had a nice little farm. 

we love that story.

linda i'm free thursday if you want to hang out pls.

started up the whole “no meat monday” thing where you don't eat monday on mondays

food meat. not the other kind of meat.

children: james mccartney, stella mccartney, heather mccartney, mary mccartney, and beatrice mccartney. 

rip martha. 

WINGS!! 

he lost linda in 1998 due to cancer.

 cried for a whole year bc of it.

still has dreams about john and says they're nice.

wrote a sad song about john called “here today.”

really loved john. like..he truly, genuinely did. 

want someone to love me like paul does john. 

“think of me every now and then old friend.”

honorable paul moments:

his story about george’s dad 

“john? he was beautiful. very beautiful.”

humpty dumpty rap 

another story about him and george.

his google search video that I watch every week 

this 

george harrison 

born: February 24, 1943 

or at least we think 

bc he use to say that his birthday was february 25, but later started saying it february 24. 

why can't we change our birthdays its not like we picked it 

he was the youngest child.

baby of the family and of the beatles awwww

two older brothers named harry and peter. one older sister named louise.

when george’s mom was pregnant with him she’d play sitar music.

his mom was super supportive of his career choice 

when he was 16 he worked as an electricians apprentice.

his dad kind of hoped he would start a family business out of it.

george said nah

would ride the bus opposite way of his house just to spend time with paul 

headbutted a kid bc he didn't think they were worthy of paul’s friendship 

was brought into the band bc of paul insisting to john 

would follow john around like a lost puppy when he first met him 

once had an eight hour erection. don't ask me how idk he said it.

was 17 when he lost his virginity and the other band members were in the room watching and cheered him when he finished 

most sex craved beatle tbh 

once walked into a girls dressing room and asked if they could stand there so he could masturbate 

he was the first beatle to go to america 

got a black eye for defending ringo once 

would make john and paul take turns sharing rooms with ringo when he first joined the band so that he felt more welcomed 

when ringo left during the white album and then came back george decorated the studio with flowers for him 

during the beatles first recording session he told george martin that he didn't like his tie

became a vegetarian at 22 

favorite candy was jelly beans and purple was his favorite color 

used the phrase “grotty” in the hard days night movie, hated it, but everyone else picked up on the slang 

met his first wife, pattie boyd, on the set of a hard days night 

was turned down by her at first 

they married in 1966

wouldn't let her do modeling stuff and was kind of an ass 

a stylish couple but not the best image for a healthy relationship 

got into eastern religion around 1965 

during the Hamburg days he would eat chicken on stage 

had an affair with ringo’s first wife maureen 

got a divorce from pattie in 1977

in 1978 he married olivia who he stayed with until his death and had one son with. dhani.

was the first beatle to hit a number one single and album. 

was buddies with led zeppelin

inspired their “rain song” 

smashed a piece of cake on john bonham’s head and then was thrown into the pool by him 

he financed and produced films. had a production company.

tom petty said that george never shut up once you started talking to him 

but he was often referred to as “the quiet beatle”

formed another band called the traveling wilburys

he’d answer questions online in the 2000′s and it’s the cutest thing ever and his answers break my heart too.

“what do you miss most about john lennon?” “john lennon.”

in 1999 a schizophrenic person broke into his house and stabbed him 40 times 

thank god olivia was there bc she was the only braincell in the room 

had to get a part of his lung taken out 

died november 29, 2001 from lung cancer 

ashes were scattered into the ganges river 

honorable george moments:

this interview he did with ringo 

“i'm sad bc i can't play guitars with john anymore. but i did that...i know we’ll meet again some day.”

when he invented reaction videos 

“the wind was blowing.” “..blowing my girl?”

“what kind of girl do you like?” “john’s wife.”

sir richard starkey aka ringo starr 

born on july 7, 1940 

oldest member in the group 

has no siblings 

naturally was left handed but his grandma thought it was bad luck so he writes right handed, and plays drums with a right handed kit 

but does everything else left handed

when he was 6 he fell into a two month coma 

was a very sick child 

when he was 13 he was in the hosiptal for tuberculosis and formed a hospital band 

grew up poor 

loves and looked up to his stepfather a lot 

his step father bought him his first drum kit in 1957

wasn't that great in school bc he missed so much of it from being so sick 

he worked for a britain railway for a while 

also served drinks on a day boat for a job 

loves dancing 

Rory storm and the hurricanes 

got his nickname from all the rings he would wear

replaced pete best as the beatles drummer 

dealt with people hating him for a bit bc they liked pete more 

had to style his hair in a bowl cut to be in the band and i'm still mad at them for making him do that shit 

ringo i'm so sorry 

george martin didn't really like his drumming and had a session drummer come in for the first album 

in 1964 he had tonsillitis, pharyngitis, and high fever all at once and had to be in the hospital for a bit.

was worried the beatles would replace him for good 

he’s a cancer don't worry

was the first beatle to try weed 

drummers always go first huh 

married his first wife, maureen, in 1965 

she kissed paul, ringo, and george.

what a champ

honeymoon was ruined by reporters 

was really insecure in his relationship and needed a lot of reassurance 

had a great relationship with pretty much all the beatles 

but a great one with john 

john felt his most relaxed when he was with ringo

was once in a movie with roger daltrey 

divorced maureen in 1975 

his wife now is barbara bach who he married in 1981 

had alcohol problems 

once gotten so drunk that he beat barbara so badly that he thought he killed her 

put himself into rehab after that 

barbara lowkey looks like jan from the office 

children: zak, lee, and jason

zak is the drummer for the band the who 

peace and love 

but don't send me fan mail anymore 

peace and love 

ringo starr and the allstar band (starting 1981)

was the narrator for thomas the tank engine 

will play at paul’s concerts sometimes now for fun 

mad bc he came on stage during paul’s last concert show and it was on my birthday and I couldn't go to it 

honorable ringo moments:

“do you want me to come with you?”

stupid barbara walters 

talking about paul 

giving us a little dance 

[babeyvenus]

Revival (BNHA OC)

Chapter 2: Learning Something New

Keeping herself hidden from her villainous father, and studying to be a hero for the sake of her and her deceased mother, Sunako Homura pushes her way through countless challenges in her highschool years. Will she lose it all, or lose herself?

Story Genre: Fluff, Angst, Romance, Family/Comfort

Tags/Trigger Warnings: Gore/Blood, Suicidal attempts, Alcohol, Language, Panic Attacks

_______________________________________________

He glared at me on his way out. Douche.

"Homura, your costume is here.", Aizawa says, pulling out a suitcase labeled 21.

I grinned, taking the suitcase from him. "Thanks."

When everyone left, I made my way to a bathroom and changed. I huffed, staring at my reflection, smoothing out my suit. I walked out, finding my way to where everyone was waiting and they all turned to me.

"Wow, Homura! That's a pretty cool costume.", Uraraka says. "Thanks.", I said, looking down at hers. "Yours is cute."

She blushes. "C-cute...?"

"Don't you think it's a bit tight for a boy?", a smaller purple haired boy asks, looking me up and down.

"Can I kill him?", I hear Tatsuo ask in my head. No, behave.

I sweatdropped, backing away from him. “Mind your business.”

"Alright! It's time for your first task of the day!!", I hear All Might's voice booming. "Let's get on with it, you bunch of newbies!"

I can't believe I get to work as All Might's student....

"Your task of today will be Hero V. Villains. Team A will be Homura, Uraraka and Midoriya. Team B will be Todoroki, and Shoji. Team C will be Bakugou, and Iida. Team D, Ashido, and Aoyama. Team D, Sato and Koda. Team E, Kaminari, and Jirou. Team F, Tokoyami, and Asui. Team G, Hagakure and Sero, finally, Team H is Kirishima, and Ojiro.", All Might finishes.

We all look at our teammates with either smiles, looks of confusion or nods.

"Looks like we're working together, Homura!", Uraraka says. “Yeah.”, I mutter.

Midoriya walks up to me. "Are you ready, Homura?" I nod. "Yeah. By the way, that guy we're going up against... what's his problem?"

He grimaces. "It's kinda...it's a complicated thing. Kacchan's angry that I'm here."

"Kacchan...?", I asked, tilting my head a little in confusion. "Ohh, that's his nickname?", I asked, catching on. He nods. "Pretty much."

"Yeah, I still think Deku should be your hero name! I think it shows bravery!", Uraraka says, making Midoriya burst into a blushing mess. Deku…?

"In these lots, are the heros and the villains. The villains are supposed to have a weapon inside the building, endangering citizens and hostages in there. The heros are either supposed to evacuate the citizens or defeat the villains without having that weapon blow with the time ticking down. These two teams....." , he pulls out two balls. "Will go next!!"

A vs. C.....

I look over at Team C.

Bakugou glared past me toward Midoriya. What does he have against him....?

"Looks like we're going against him.", I whisper to Uraraka and I notice she's shaking. "Are you really scared of this guy...?"

"He does look intimidating with his costume...", she says.

I frown. There's nothing he can do against us if he wants to be a hero.

Team C walks past us and into the building. We found our way up a few steps of stairs and found a map to the rest of the building.

"We got the map, let's go.", I say.

We only got to the 2nd floor and Bakugou's already sent a surprise attack, sending us back. "Midoriya, Uraraka! You guys okay!?", I asked.

"He only grazed me.", Izuku responded.

I looked back at Bakugou, but his gaze was on Midoriya.

"Why're you dodging me, Deku....? Use that damn quirk.", he mutters.

"I knew I'd be his priority...", Midoriya mumbled.

"Damn straight!!", Bakugou threw a right punch toward him and Midoriya grabbed his arm.

"I won't let you hit me!!", Midoriya yelled and flipped Bakugou over.

Everyone stood in shock as Bakugou became winded.

"Kacchan... I'll never become your personal punching bag anymore.... I'm not the same weak Deku you know. I'm more than that! From now on, DEKU IS THE NAME OF A HERO!!"

Bakugou looked like he was about to blow. "You just pissed me off....", Bakugou mutters.

He stalks over to Midoriya. "Uraraka, Homura, get away from here!!", Midoriya yells.

Uraraka runs but I stay. "You're gonna need help. Uraraka can take care of that Iida guy."

He looks at me but dodges another attack from Bakugou.

"WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME!?", he yells.

"Dude, get a grip!", I yell and stomp the floor making the platform rise above him.

Midoriya drags me somewhere around the corner and continues running as Bakugou’s screaming sounds further away.

"Is this the plan now? We’re running!?", I ask.

"Not exactly. I need another plan now.", Midoriya says.

"QUIRK OR NO QUIRK, YOU'LL NEVER BEAT ME, DEKU!!!", I hear Bakugou roar behind us.

We kept running until we made it to the 4th floor and eventually took a break to breathe. I leaned on the wall, "Do you think we passed it up....? Uraraka's gotta be around here somewhere.", I say.

"I think she's already past us.", he says and starts muttering to himself.

I look around to hear faint footsteps. "Midoriya...."

He's still muttering.

"Mi-"

"Deku...."

I look up as Bakugou turns from around a corner.

"We're dead...", I say.

"Why don't you use your quirk, Deku...? You're looking down on me, aren't you...?", he sneers with an intense glare.

"W-what...?", Midoriya whispers and shakes his head. "I'm not afraid of you anymore, Kacchan!"

Bakugou frowns and holds his hand out to us.

"As your stalking ass may know, my sweat is what powers up my quirk. My sweat is made of nitroglycerin.", he explains.

Is that why I was smelling burnt caramel....?

"These grenade gauntlets are holding the very thing that makes my regular attacks seem small.", he says grinning. "If I were to...you know...pull the pin on one of these...", he reaches for the pin on the gauntlet.

"You'd be stupid. Were you not listening earlier? I’d only absorb it.", I exclaim.

He only grins. "If you can dodge it, you'll live!!", he says, pulling it.

I pull Midoriya behind me as I start absorbing the heat.

Bakugou's frown deepens.

I swallow the rest of the blast and grin. "I told you. That was useless, but thanks for the meal."

"Homura, that was amazing!", Midoriya boasts.

"Good thinking and defense, Young Homura!", I hear All Might .

The only bad thing about it, that blast was huge. I'm already full.

"I need to let the blast go. I'm full.", I whisper to Midoriya, rubbing my stomach.

"WHAT THE FUCK!!", Bakugou yells, and stomps.

We both look at him in shock.

"The fuck is going on!?", he yells and stomps again.

"Use your quirk, Deku!! Stop holding back!!", he yells.

"What's the status, Uraraka...?", Midoriya whispers into the earpiece.

"I got to the weapon and Iida's really getting into this role.", she replies.

"So is Bakugou.", I say.

"Uragh!! Fuck it!! Let's just fight!!", Bakugou yells running towards us.

I get into a defensive stance as he runs to Midoriya.

I'm not his priority...I gotta stop him from trying to kill Midoriya.

He thrashed against me as he managed to get me off his back. I pulled at his shirt as he dragged me.

"Damn you!! Get the fuck off me!!", he yells at me and drags me with him.

He's a weapon even without his quirk. Just how powerful is this guy!?

I dug my feet into the floor attempting and hoping to slow him down. "How's it going up there, Uraraka!?!", I call into the earpiece.

"I still need a little help!", she replies.

Bakugou grabs me by my collar and slams me down, taking the wind out of me.

I roll into my side, "This is bad,” I groan. “Midoriya, run!!", I yell and Bakugou kicks me off to the side.

"Run all you want, Deku!! I'll find you and I'll crush you!!", Bakugou yells with a creepy smile.

"Dude's got problems...", I mutter, getting up and running towards him, sending a drop kick, but he grabs my foot and slams me down again.

Midoriya, you had better come up with a plan!!

I used the explosion he practically fed me and shot it near his feet.

He looks at me and shouts at the roof. "All Might, that's unfair!! I can't use my explosions, but he can throw one right back!?"

"I had to let it out, idiot!!"

Bakugou growls and runs toward Midoriya, leaps over him, grabbing Midoriya by one arm. "Here's your favorite move, Deku!! Your favorite right swing!!", Bakugou yells swinging him around.

"Don't you ever forget what you are!!", he declares, slamming him down. "You're a weakling!!"

Midoriya gets up, shakily. "Why won't you use your damned quirk, Deku!? You like looking down on me, don't you!? You have been ever since we were kids!!"

They've known each other that long...?

"You're wrong....," Midoriya whispers. "You're an idiot!! I know that you're better than me, so that's why I wanna beat you!! Because you're amazing!!"

"COME AT ME, YOU DAMN NERD!!!"

I gotta do something....! They'll kill each other!!

"STOP IT!!"

The mixture of Bakugou's power and Midoriya's power combined was enough to get Uraraka to the weapon...

"....what...?"

I collapse, getting crushed under some of the debris. "This was all I could do....", the last thing I could hear before passing out.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

"You're finally awake!", I heard a female's voice and looked up to see an old woman hovering over me, her lips puckered.

"You're.... Recovery Girl...", I mutter, looking at her attire, then looked up at the ceiling.

"What happened....?"

"You were crushed under the debris of the practice building. Luckily you had a sprained arm and it should be healed by now, due to your amazing recovery rate.", she explains.

"How'd I get here...?", I rasped, and widened my eyes looking down at my wrapped up arm.

"A student carried you here. Don't worry, I won’t tell anyone.”, she gave me a knowing smile, gesturing to my wrapped chest. “I won’t pry or tell. Also, Midoriya is doing just fine.", she says.

I let out a breath of relief that I never knew I was holding and got up to leave.

"Thank you.", I say and leave the room.

I was about to head home until I heard yelling outside.

"It was given to me!! No matter what, I couldn't tell anyone! I know it sounds like it came out of a comic book, but I'm serious.", I see Midoriya yelling at Bakugou, looking at the ground.

"I still can't fully control it...it's just a borrowed power!"

What....?

"I'm nowhere near strong....! But still.... I'll make it my power. Then, I'll surpass you.", he says.

"What....?", Bakugou whispers.

"What the hell is that....? 'Borrowed power'.....? I don't understand. Did you really come over here spouting some bullshit.....? To make a bigger fool of me...!? Huh!? Even if you're not....so what!?!", Bakugou yells.

"Today you beat me, you shit nerd!! That's all there is to it!! What more do you need!?", he grips his head.

"And, get a look at that fuckin' ice creep! There was no way I could've stood up to that!! That ponytailed bitch was right, I was fuckin' reckless!! Fuck!!", he drops his hand and I faintly see sparkles in his eyes.

"Damnit! Dammit!! Dammit!!! NEXT TIME, IT WON'T HAPPEN! I'LL BEAT YOU!! I'LL BECOME THE BEST! I'LL BE NUMBER ONE!! YOU GOT THAT!? I'M JUST GETTING STARTED!!", with that he walks away rubbing his face with his arm.

I sigh and frown. This is ridiculous, even for him.

"He's acting like a complete child. It was nothing more than a test, not some competition.", Tomohiro says, in my mind.

Midoriya sighs.

I hear fast footsteps behind me, making me move out the way.

"BA-KU-GOU! I FOUND YOU!", All Might exclaims with a smile, clasping his hands on Bakugou's shoulders.

I snickered and jumped over the wall outside the school gates, and leaned on it.

"Self confidence is a very powerful thing, my boy! There's no way you couldn't be fitting for a hero.", All Might says.

If he keeps going the way he's going, there's no way pros will accept him.

"Get off me, All Might. I can't walk. And let me make this clear for you too.", Bakugou says. "I'll be more powerful than you, too. I'll get past you."

.....what...?

"O-okay...", All Might says.

I heard Bakugou's footsteps as he turned to the left and walked far enough from the gates and turned over his shoulder a little, glaring at me. "You. Fight me."

The fuck, dude....?

I walked up to him. "Didn't you have enough from earlier....?"

His glare only intensified.

I sighed, rolling my eyes. "Alright. Where, so I can get this over with."

"The beach. Meet me there no later than 7.", he said and started walking off. Rude, bossy and arrogant. A whole package.

I walked his way and I saw his shoulders getting tense by the second.

"Why the fuck are you following me!?", he turned to me and yelled.

I stopped. "I go down this way, moron."

He scoffs. "Whatever.".

"How was the first day, kid?" Shura asks as I walk in. She gasps seeing my bandaged face.

I just groaned. "There's a guy that wants to brawl again."

She sits up. "Really? Wait, again!?"

I nod and walk upstairs to my room.

I got dressed in my black windbreaker and red joggers, running a hand through my hair, letting out another exasperated sigh.

I understand that it was none of my business....but what the hell....?

Tatsuo appears and sits on my bed, the creaking mattress giving under his weight. "You sure you wanna go fight? You'd be exposing yourself."

I shrugged. "I mean it's whatever. I'm not the one with the problem."

He crossed his arms. "You also don't have to do this."

I give him a nod. "I know. But what's the harm in doing a little sparring?"

_______________________________________________

A/N: My first taglist, yay! Also I hate this chapter but I feel like the other chapters will be a little better so I'm meh.

@dakotacecily @xartisticmdx @savnofilter @mci-writing (just in case you guys are bored 🥺) @weird-dere @moonfairy-h @afuckingunicornn

[finnwolfhard7137]

The Art of Falling in Love-Finn Wolfhard × Reader

Chapter Three is here...

Chapter Four: Paradise

Word Count 2.4k

Warnings: some fluff

_____________________________________

Oakes wakes you and Miles up by shaking the both of you like rag dolls.

Oakes "GUYS!" 

"Huh? What's going on?" You look at Finn who is still behind you and he is laughing his ass off.

Finn "We literally just slept outside all night." You face-palm and laugh.

Oakes "Not going to lie...that's fucking goals." Finn laughed even harder and pulled you tighter into his side.

Oakes "Did you guys not go into your trailers all night?"

You both "No."

Finn "I honestly didn't wake up at all last night."

"Neither did I and I always wake up at least once during the night-"

Finn "Me too."

Oakes "Well, you two lovebirds...it's 6:30, let's eat before we have to film." You both agree and get off of the ground.

"Shit...I got your hoodie dirty." You look at the sleeves and sigh.

Finn "Don't worry about it, I can wash it. I wouldn't change anything about last night for the world." You blush and lean into him. You spot Oakes chuckle at you two, to which you kiddingly flip him off. He repays the favor and you both just laugh like three children. 

You get taken into your trailer first for makeup and hair because you take the longest to get done, Finn and Oakes just relaxed while you were gone. Oakes noticed that Finn watched as you left and hit him on the shoulder.

Finn "What?!"

Oakes "You love her don't you?"

Finn "I sure as hell like her. What's not to like?"

Oakes "She is pretty great, you two look good together."

Finn "I haven't asked her yet, Oakes. I don't wanna rush her into anything."

Oakes "I think that she likes you too, Finn. If that is what you are worried about, you are crazy."

Finn "I just don't want to mess anything up with her, she isn't like anyone I have ever met, she is like...perfect! Y/n is like the girl that I have always imagined being with..I don't know how to explain it-"

Oakes "I know what you mean dude. You don't need to explain it, I totally get it."

Finn simply nods and takes a drink of his water.

Oakes "Just ask her dude, she's gonna say yes."

Finn "I will eventually, Oakes." Oakes rolls his eyes and he punches him in the arm and starts to laugh, "You are so pushy!" 

Oakes "Hey, I just support it! My two best friend's together...like fuck yeah I want it to happen!"

Finn "Thank you, that means a lot. I want to ask her properly...maybe I'll take her somewhere beautiful, other than the desert. Make it memorable, ya know."

Oakes "Yeah, that would be good." They continued to talk until it was their turn to get ready for the day. When you came out, Finn was walking towards his trailer which happened to be right next to yours and winks at you. You almost trip on the last step because he is just so damn cute.

…

You read your script and today, you go to school with Oakes and Boris: He doesn't leave yours and Oakes' side the whole school day, he rides with you on the bus and afterwards, you and Oakes go to his house. It sounds really fun from how the script put it so today is going to be exciting. When he comes out of his trailer, he is wearing a black blazer with a skateboarding graphic t-shirt. He honestly looks so good that you almost drool! You look away so that you don't get caught staring, in a few moments you feel his arms wrap around your neck, across your chest in a warm embrace. You can't help but smile and grab his arm in acceptance.

Finn "Well don't you look beautiful!"

"I have this stupid prosthetic on..how can I be beautiful?"

Finn "You are! Makeup, no makeup..prosthetic or no prosthetic. And hey, you won't have to wear it the whole time." 

"Yeah, I'm looking forward to future scenes.." he let go of you and crouches down in front of you and smiles. "What?"

Finn "Stop..just stop being self conscious, you are fucking perfect so stop." You smile and pull him up to you to give him a hug. You want to do more but you want him to make the first move...obviously. He hugs you tighter and you just melt. 

__________________________________

John "Action!" 

Theo "Boris, Pippa is going to join us today."

Boris "Is she really? Excellent!"

Theo "Yeah but she's worried about ya know...getting bullied."

Boris "I like her, I won't let them pick on her. She cannot help it." You come into the view and Finn smiles down at you. 

"Hey Boris."

Boris "Hey! You've been good, yes?"

"Yes." 

Theo "Come on, we are gonna be late to first period." When you get in the classroom, the classroom stared at your head. Some girls were even laughing. Boris noticed and got in front of you.

Boris "You got a problem, ay?! This woman survived a fucking bombing, show her some respect." The girls immediately started to apologize. All you were told to do was shake your head and take a seat next to Finn which you do. 

"Thank you."

Boris "Of course." Theo looked behind him and saw you two talking and gave Boris a smile like, thank you. 

John "Cut! Perfect guys." You immediately go back to your normal self as soon as he yelled 'cut' and took a deep breath. Growing up as a kid, you used to get bullied so to have to reenact what you really had to go through, was rough mentally. 

Finn "I almost lost my shit…"

"Oh really?"

Finn "Yeah, I hate bullies."

"Me too, but thankfully it's just for the movie." He agreed but before he could say anything, John yelled 'action'.

….

The school day is over and you all get on the same bus. Finn and Oakes sit next to each other and you sit by yourself on the next row.

Boris "Did you enjoy school today?"

"Kinda."

Theo "Well you did good for your first day back, Pippa."

"Thanks-"

Boris "How about you both come over my house? I have drinks."

Theo "Drinks?"

Boris "Yeah, I have beer at my house. You two should come over."

Theo "Do you want too?"

"Yeah, I don't mind."

Boris "Good. Hey, I didn't tell you earlier but um, I think that you look very pretty today Pippa."

"R-really?"

Boris "Of course." Theo nudges him so hard that he almost fell off of his seat, he immediately shoved him back but even harder. Earning a laugh from you, making Oakes look at you with a shock on his face.

Theo "Y-you laughed!"

Boris "So? Everyone laughs."

Theo "No...you don't get it. Pippa hasn't laughed since the bombing." Finn looks over at you and smiles from ear to ear, making you happy. 

"You guys make me happy. No one else does." Finn grabbed your hand from across the aisle. You don't remember that being in the script but you really don't care. 

John "Cut." The school bus stops and you all get out of the bus. 

John "Lunch break guys, you did good."

"Can I get the prosthetic off? It is starting to hurt."

John "Of course, Y/n. Next week, the movie skips a month in advance so you won't have to wear it anymore. Just hang in there for two more days and it'll be off for good."

"Alright, awesome. Thank you!" Finn walks up to you and kisses your forehead.

"Ima get this thing off, you can join me if you want." 

Finn "After you." 

Bill "oohh it started to come off."

...

"Is that why it started to hurt?"

Bill "yeah, the glue was pulling on your fine hairs."

Finn "Prosthetics hurt in general."

Bill "This is true. I have never had a client be excited to get them applied."

"I was on the first day, not anymore." You three laugh. 

It takes a good minute to get it all taken off and your hair fixed up. Finn didn't leave the seat next to you the whole time, he just talked to you and complimented you on today's performance so far. He has been your biggest supporter all week and it never gets old: hearing one of your idols tell you how amazing you are doing...doesn't get better in this line of work. 

Oakes comes in, "They got a whole buffet...you guys are missing out!"

Finn looks at you so intensely that you burst out laughing. He picks you up and carries you out of the trailer, running all of the way to the free buffet. 

John "Hungry?"

Finn "uh...a little-" he says grabbing a whole plate full of food. 

Oakes "look at him, he's a freakin' giraffe! He needs his food.." Finn almost chokes on his food from laughing so hard. Finn is really tall, especially in person. 

"You aren't wrong!" He sits down and pulls you onto his lap. John and the rest of the film crew just smile at the sight. 

__________________________________

When you three got to the house, the camera's started rolling when you guys sat down in his unfilled pool with beers and cigarettes.

John "Action." 

Boris "Would you like vodka?"

You and Theo "No thanks."

Boris "My dad drinks it all the time, so much he can not feel his feet. Literally, it has a name."

"Is it just you two here?"

Boris "Yes. My mother is dead."

Theo "Mine too."

Boris "Mine was alchie...got drunk and fell out the window."

"Jesus."

Boris "Did you lose anyone...ya know. When Theo did."

"My uncle. He took me because it was for my birthday, I just wanted to see the beautiful art with him and then..well you know. It is all my fault."

Theo "Hey, it isn't your fault."

"You blame yourself too, Theo."

Boris "You both are wrong. Don't blame yourselves! You guys didn't know that that was going to happen."

"Change the subject." Finn thought for a moment.

Boris "What is your favorite art piece in the museum."

"It is a piece called The Goldfinch."

Theo "That is where I met her, we were all looking at that painting before it all happened."

Boris "Wow...All I gotta say is that I am glad that you are here, Pippa. With you and Theo here, it is a lot less lonely."

"I am glad much happier here. You wouldn't think that the desert is better than a city but it is to me. Especially now, it is much quieter."

Theo "It will be easier for you to heal."

"Yeah, hopefully."

Boris "Don't you worry, we will all get through our own struggles together."

John "And...cut! Fantastic job guys!" This scene only took one shot to master. You three high five and get undressed because that was it for the day, the rest is for Ansel and Aneurin who play Theo and Boris older in the movie.

…

Aneurin "You make my job hard, Finn...how am I supposed to top that?"

Finn "Oh you can do it, I didn't even do anything."

Aneurin "That is my point!" Ansel joins you, Finn, Aneurin and Oakes.

Ansel "You did great today guys! I'm very impressed." You all thank him. 

Oakes "What are you shooting today?"

Ansel "With Nicole..I'm visiting her after years of not seeing her."

"Oof so an emotional day?"

Ansel "Oh yeah."

Oakes "You've got this. You can cry on command."

"You can?"

Ansel "Mhm."

"If you can cry when I tell you too, I will pay you 20 bucks right now."

Ansel "You are on!"

".....Now!" Sadly..he does in seconds. 

Ansel "Pay up, Y/n!"

"Fuck you." You hand him the 20 dollar bill, laughing in defeat. You didn't know that he could cry that quickly, or that anyone could for that matter.

John "We are shooting in 5!" 

Aneurin "I'll see you guys later." The two boys left and started shooting. 

__________________________________

You three ended up watching them film: taking in their movements and the way they say some words and how they react to comments and such. 

Finn "Hey, it's getting late. Wanna go for a drive?"

"Yeah, I'm down. Oakes, you coming?"

Oakes "Nah, you guys go ahead. Have fun."

Finn smirks at you and runs to his car, opening up the door for you. 

"Where are we going?"

Finn "I know a beautiful place back here, I've been waiting for an opportunity to take you."

"Ohh I'm excited." In the drive there, you text your mother about your amazing day and sing songs with Finn. When you are with him, it is just pure happiness and bliss. You have never experienced this feeling before: crushes yes, dating yes but not actually being in love with someone completely and fully and getting that same energy in return. 

…

Finn "We are almost here. I want you to close your eyes!"

"Really?!"

Finn "Yeah, come on close em." You feel the car stop and you hear him put the gear in park. He gets out of the car and he helps you out. A few steps forward, you can feel the sand beneath your toes.

"The beach?!"

Finn "Just wait." You two walk until he stops. "Okay, open." You open to see the most beautiful sunset over the waves.

"Oh my god. It's so..beautiful."

Finn "I knew that you would love it. I remember when we all went to Chick-fil-a, you told me that you loved the beach."

"I do, it's my paradise." Finn smiles at how amazed you are at your view. But to him, you are his view. You are way more beautiful to him than the ocean. He puts his arms around your waist and watches the waves crash onto the shore with you in his arms.

To be continued...

@moriartysringtone7137 @euphoricsunflowrr @spidey-starky @tysblackswan @strangerev @keeshonds @itlittlefangirl

[rogue-barnes-16]

THE MYSTERIOUS DISAPPEARANCE OF NATASHA ROMANOFF (part III/?)

Summary: after the too convenient disappearance of Natasha Romanoff, the Avengers —a local biker gang— search for help in the most unexpected place in order to get their friend back. Will it help, or will the situation just get more twisted and dangerous?

Pairing: biker!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Genre: angst-ish (biker gang au)

Tags:

The mysterious disappearance of Natasha Romanoff:

@shirukitsune @retrxbarnes

Permanent taglist:

@notexactlythatgirl @thisismysecrethappyplace @sofreakinmanyfandoms @pizzarollpatrol @bubblycypress87 @1a-girl-has-no-name1 @loislp @lovenaturefirst @dyanna-corona @2ptonpt @goodnightmode @disneyprincessbuffyannesummers @mannls @cutie1365 @catch22inareddress @mybooradley @sebastianisasnack @butifulsoul125 @unlikelygalaxygiver

Warnings: language, kinda angsty but not too much

A/N: third part of these because I think I'll go crazy if I stay in this kind of semi-hiatus any longer. Hope you enjoy my darlings <3.

The mysterious disappearance of Natasha Romanoff masterlist

Rogue-barnes-16 masterlist

BUCKY’S P. O. V.

Her hands were on the sides of my ribcage to provide her some balance while I was riding to the nearest diner.

It was an odd, though familiar feeling. The way her grip on my leather jacket briefly tightened when I took a turn, or the contact her the front of her legs made with the back of mines.

And I really really didn't want to stop driving, because I had missed that feeling, even if I wouldn't admit it out loud, even if I wanted to think I had moved on.

But I started to slow down the moment we reached the nearest diner's parking lot, and her hands left my jacket to hold herself steady using to the back of the bike.

As soon as the bike was parked, my feet reached the ground, still straddling the vehicle for us to be safe while taking off the helmet.

Once I had accomplished that task, I looked over my, slightly turning my torso to see if Y/n had done the same.

"Wow! okay" I chuckled while that magnetic girl I had just met in the bar —thanks to Carol— combed her recently messed hair with her fingers. "that was... Wild." her eyes were still widely open, but a half smile was now tugging the corner of her lip. "such a ride."

"first time riding a bike?"

"first time in bike with you" she replied, climbing off in a very surprisingly smooth way . "you really gotta slow down, I didn't even have helmet, boy."

I mimicked her movements and grabbed my things before approaching her. "well, I can fix that." we walked side by side to the bar. "I'll get you one."

"you seem pretty confident about me riding with you ever again."

"got a feeling you'll end up liking it" I replied with a smug smirk, opening the door of the establishment for her.

She shook her head no, peeking at me with a half smile tugging the corner of her lips. "Keep dreaming, Bucky."

"with you?" I questioned, following right behind her back into the bar, where both the gang and Carol waited for us. "Always."

"Cheesy."

READER'S P. O. V.

I let the helmet rest on my seat between my things while I combed my hair with my fingers. No matter how short or covered it was, with or without helmet, it always ended up tangled.

I had forgotten that minor inconvenience of riding a bike, specifically with the man I rode with.

"Ready?" he asked, holding the handlebars firmly. I gave him a lazy nod in response and proceeded to hop off the bike. "Let's go then." he walked side by side with me to the diner and when we reached the door, he opened it for me.

As soon as we sat down on the booth that was the furthest from the patrons of the place, the waiter came to take our order, which were just two black coffees, one of them iced.

Bucky waited until we had our coffees to speak, in order to avoid nosy ears, I figured. "It was two days ago." he started, swallowing the first sip of his coffee. "Nat had been keeping an eye on a guy for a while." I motioned for him to continue.

"Why would she do that?" I questioned with a frown. "Thought you were that type of gang, now were you?" I added with sarcasm.

"Wait a fucking second, will ya?" I motioned him to keep going with my hand. "the dude was following this girl." I tilted my head with confusion. "Stalking her."

"I got it the first time, James, I'm not that dumb." he muttered something under his breath, taking another sip of coffee. In reply, I just scoffed. "Why help that girl in particular?"

"We owed his brother a favor. Big one" he added, not quite focused on what he was saying. "Tasha's gonna scare him y'know? But turns out this guy wasn't a creep." he nursed his cup. "He's a rival gang member."

I opened my eyes widely, letting myself fall against the backrest of the booth. "Holy fuck." I always had assumed the Avengers were the only gang. Never in my time with them had I heard about a rival gang, I only knew that was dangerous shit.

Bucky’s blue eyes flickered to me, realizing too late that this was completely new information to me. "Yeah... I told Natasha to quit, we could protect this girl in other ways." he shook his head no. "she said she'll stay, just in case what was happening involved us."

"And then she dissappears." I sighed, massaging my temples, wondering what the fuck I was thinking when I decided I would help. "Bucky, I really don't see why I'm the only option."

"I-- listen." he lifted his gaze subtly to check no one was observing us. "I'm not supposed to be tellin' ya this."

"But you're gonna do it anyway."

He straight up ignored my comment as he mirrored my posture. "we have an inside problem."

"a something or a someone?" I was now definitely regretting the decision of going to my ex's house to lend a hand to his gang. "fuck, James, you better tell me it's a something and not a someone."

His sorry eyes and pursed lips killed my lame hope. "you want me to lie?"

"Yeah, for once I actually want you to lie." he clenched his jaw and diverted his eyes from me. "I went to your place and you have a fucking mole." Bucky’s gaze returned to me intently, shushing me. "don't fucking shush me" I retorted, internally freaking out. "I just put myself in danger 'cause I was stupid enough to decide to help."

"You're not in danger." he replied in low voice.

"okay now, you don't fucking know that."

"Whoever the problem is, they ain't there."

"Yeah sure." thousands of different scenarios that ended up with my corpse in a ditch went through my panicking mind as I stood up to walk away. "this was the worst fucking idea I've ever had." I mumbled under my breath, stepping out of the diner.

The fact that I didn't hear Bucky’s heavy combat boots after me in order to try and change my mind was surprising enough.

What was also surprising was finding another bike approaching the parking lot of the diner, and Clint almost jumping off it.

He took off his helmet way too fast for it to be safe before close to shouting my name. "Y/n!" For some reason, I stopped walking to wait for him to get to me. "Listen--"

"I'm out, Clint. I'm sorry." my apologies were genuine, because I knew how much Natasha meant to the dirty blonde man.

"No! Fuck- hold on for a second please." he begged, raising his hands in front of me to stop me. "I don't know what Barnes told you but--"

"Said that you got a mole inside."

"Fuckin'... Okay, I know you feel like your life is in danger if you help us but listen," his eyes spoke how desperate he was to get to his bestfriend on time. "Nat... You know I can't lose her and I swear if you help us, I'll protect you with my life okay? But please, Y/n... I'm sorry you got mixed into this but we- I really need you to help us."

I clenched my jaw, trying to meditate coolly about my reply to his beg.

I had put my feelings aside in order to think clearer, and that was one hell of a headache, given the people who were involved.

"Y/n please. Please, I swear on my fucking life I won't let anything bad happen to you." Clint assured me in a whisper. "please."

BUCKY'S P. O. V.

I stayed sat in the booth for a brief moment after Y/n had left.

I really didn't know what else I could do to convince her to help us. I didn't know how to make her believe me, to assure her that she wouldn't get hurt on my watch.

I didn't know how to get her to trust me if I promised to keep her safe at all costs, because once you break someone's trust —specially someone's like Y/n's— there was no going back 99% of the times.

"Fuck."

I rushed to the door, attempting to reach Y/n, because I had to convince her. I owed it to Natasha, to Clint, to Sam, to Steve; I owed it to myself, because I kept losing my grasp on Y/n, and in this situation, letting her leave wasn't an option anymore.

When I got out, both helmets in my hands, I saw Clint in front of Y/n, practically begging for her aid.

"Clint... I'm sorry. I really am..." she spoke. "I can't."

"Yeah, you can." she spun around at the same time as Clint's eyes laid on my form over the girl's shoulder. "you can, and you have to."

She was suddenly fuming. "what the hell did you just say?"

"Bucky shut the fuck up and stop making it worse." Clint warned me while Y/n took a couple of steps towards me.

"You have to." I repeated as confident as I could whilst my heart pounded in my chest. "You have to, that's why you came all the way from your fancy ass apartment in Manhattan." it was the fourth sort of conversation I had with the girl I hadn't talked in a year, and I had decided to push her buttons. "'cause no matter how you fucking hate me, y'know you won't be able to sleep at night—"

"Shut the fuck up, Bucky." Clint repeated, almost hysterical as I went on, my eyes locked with Y/n's in an attempt to make her know I meant every word.

"—if something happened to Natasha when, knowing you could've, you refused to help." Y/n pursed her lips, refusing to retort anything. "whether you like it or not, I know you Y/n, and I know you're not gonna leave."

It was the riskiest stunt I had pulled in a while, but after a dreadful instant of silence, I realized it had worked.

"You're so goddamn confident about it, aren't you?"

"I also know you're probably considering leaving, just to fucking prove me wrong."

Silence again, her eyes dug into mines as she closed the distance between the two of us to grab her helmet. "You're so full of yourself."

"I'm right, though." I couldn't help but retort with the lightest tinge of amusement in my tone.

"I'm riding with Clint."

[pyrten]

DAZAI OSAMU : QUICK CHARACTER STUDY

(At 3 AM in the morning and that's why it's messy, all over the place and generally, shit.)

Majority of the characters in BSD are morally grey, Dazai included. I'm unable to categorise characters into good or evil, which is what makes BSD really nice to watch.  

Majority of the instances, whenever I have an opinion on someone like Dazai, it's mainly based on their actions. I'll make an exception for his case because I believe he speaks the truth sometimes. 

It's seriously difficult to believe what someone like him says. His weapon is his intellect and his tongue. He could say this and do that instead. Obviously he isn't good at combat, but he could say something and have you on the hook.

He's cunning, sly and in general: a liar (sometimes). As for psychological manipulation… well, it's not something to be looked down upon since it's in our everyday lives.

DARK ERA

He has a more serious aura and was far more suicidal compared to ADA Dazai. He barely flinched when a bullet grazed his cheek. 

I won't even sugarcoat the fact that Dazai is an asshole. 

The way he treated Akutagawa is wrong. The training may have made him resilient, but his mental health isn't in an okay shape. In the end, he even upped and left him without an explanation (although, I think Akutagawa has an idea of why he left).  

Remember when he fired at the GSS captain? If I didn't count wrong, it was 13 shots (my dude over here desecrating a corpse). 

(I couldn't find the GIF of him shooting the corpse, so this is as close as I can get)

He does poke fun at Chuuya, and you can perhaps say that he does some good (but we've only seen a single good deed so far…).

He recognized that Chuuya was being manipulated by the Sheep and in his own way gave him a push. There was the part* when Shirase was talking and it zoomed in on Dazai, who had a wary, analyzing look on him. 

It's clear that the Sheep is quite dependent on him. They believe that Chuuya will be there to save them whenever they fuck up (ex. crossing the river to steal booze, when they know it's near the PM HQ, in result, getting a few of their members captured). They came looking for him to put it simply, beat up and save their comrades, which points towards the fact that they are using him for his ability. 

Shirase also said:

"People who hold more cards than others have a responsibility. Fulfill your responsibility as the one with the trump card called an ability."*

Which again, further points towards the fact that they are using him for his ability and somewhat guilt tripping him. 

Dazai later adds his own input.

"Amusing. You guys are truly amusing. He's by far the strongest among you, but he's like a sheep being stared down by wolves." 

Called out. 

It then changes to show Chuuya's face. Honestly he looks on guard, and I think he knows what they're trying to do, but it's a can of worms he would rather not open, y' know?  

Dazai then later says once more when Shirase is trying to convince Chuuya to kick the PM's ass.

"Give it a rest. He has the freedom to choose how he uses his ability. Even a child would understand that. There's no argument." 

And as a final attempt to convince Chuuya, he pulls the old guilt trip card, which Dazai and Chuuya ignore. 

"Don't forget, Chuuya! The Sheep who took you in when you had no identity and nowhere to go! 

When all of this is happening, Dazai knew Chuuya was being manipulated, and he also watered the seed of doubt with his actions, and in the end the Sheep turned their backs on Chuuya, which led to Chuuya joining the Port Mafia. 

I can say this was a small good deed, pulling Chuuya out, but the choice was Chuuya's and he just gave a push. 

ARMED DETECTIVE AGENCY

Dazai isn't a naturally kind and virtuous person, but he's trying, for Oda (oh boy).

The way he handled Kyoka's situation wasn't all rainbows and confetti. 

I have a feeling he's trying to look at the bigger picture, to save people (perhaps because he blames himself for Oda's death, but I'll set that aside temporarily due to the time), but his methods aren't... nice. Atsushi has gotten hurt multiple times, Akutagawa too. In some ways, I suppose I can understand some things are unavoidable, but still. 

Compared to how he treated Akutagawa, he's far better with Atsushi. He's treating him the way Oda treated him. 

Atsushi has a completely different mindset compared to Akutagawa. He's a selfless person, he fights injustice. If Dazai tried to treat him the way he treated Akutagawa, I can confirm that isn't gonna turn out good. 

Besides, he's trying to become a better person. That, and he owes Akutagawa an apology.

From this part onwards, these are all flash thoughts that I wrote quickly because I'm falling asleep by the minute.

FLASH THOUGHT #1 :

Now that's over with… I don't particularly have anything to add on. So I'm going to move onto… uh, how do I word this, facade?

I said above that his weapon is his intellect. It's clear that whatever he has on can be fake, or real. Y'know that goofy, playful Dazai we all know. 

He's probably able to control his every movement and actions. Like, I cannot imagine Dazai doing something ACCIDENTALLY. Imagine that, someone who can control his own heartbeat, doing something accidentally (unintentionally, he never meant to do it, yeah that would be surprising).

But then again he's human… despite being a strategic and tactical genius… so yes, him doing something on accident would be interesting to watch.

Now if he miscalculated or like mistaken, uh, like that time, with the hiker, BSD Season 3. Then, yes that's understandable. 

FLASH THOUGHT #2:

Mk… facade and accidents are covered… uh… I'll talk about the power he had when he was 14, Dark Era Dazai.

… He had enough sway in the mafia since he was 14 (correct me if I'm wrong). He was allowed to be the sole witness of the Boss's final wish. SOLE WITNESS. A young boy at the age of 14 was allowed to be the sole witness. 

He was considered to be the youngest executive in the Port Mafia. If so, then why didn't the other executives (during the reign of the Old Boss) fight over the choice to be the witness of the Boss's death other than Mori. Perhaps the Old Boss didn't have executives, but that's unlikely.  

Now, that's something.  

FLASH THOUGHT #3:

Talking about suicide… I think Dazai doesn't want to die, but he does. He's failed so many suicide attempts, some of them being sabotaged, but what about the others. 

Since Dazai didn't have anyone around his age constantly (save for Oda and Ango, but several years later… perhaps when he was 16, seeing how Oda and Dazai knew each other during the Dragon's Head Rush), he only had victories of his missions and such to comfort his loneliness.  

I think that it's practically ingrained in him. 

Dying means winning and losing. Your life is finished. 

If that's the case, dying would mean he lost (but won). It's conflicting and confusing as hell, I know ;-; . I'm trying to explain my thoughts the best I can - . 

When Chuuya came around, his loneliness was, um, calmed, a little. 

Oda died and gave him a reason to live.

I think he still feels a little lonely though.

That's the end. I'll be out like a light in about 3 mins so I'll just, drop a GIF and go before I start pressing anything on accident.

Yep, okay, bye bye.

oh, I forgot the hashtags, um .

Hashtags added.

Good night. :D

[romerona]

TRUBLEMAKER

Book: Ride or Die: A Bad Boy Romance

Pairing: Logan x MC(Tessa)

Rating: +18 cursing and Little sex related talk

Summary: Logan’s POV on the first”date”

Note: takes place in chapter 2

Special thanks for @desiree-0816 for helping me a lot.

Characters belong to Pixelberry Studios

After I dropped her to her house, I went back to the shop when I got there the crew were doing their things ,Mona is working on her car while Ximena is giving Toby a new tattoo....

Toby - Hey! Logan where were you?” He asked wincing as ximena is working on his skin.

Ximena - Toby stop moving damnit!! She asked too where have I been?

Logan - On a job.” I said making my way to the kitchen.

Toby - tell me about it I need a distraction pleaseeeeee.” he said pleadingly

Logan - nothing really important just sold a car to a rich kid, talking about that I have to give the money to kaneko.”

I knock on his door seconds later he opens it I told him about the night and my plan with the cops to make Tessa trust me.

Kaneko - good, she already trust you or at least feels like she has to . Keep hanging out with her soon she will tell you everything.”

As I'm going up the stairs to my loft and I hop on my bed, I'm think why is my heart still beating fast is it from the car chase from the police and the adrenaline is still pumping through me from it... I'm sure that's what it's from... For some odd reason my mind keeps going back to that kiss with Tessa.... As if I was the first boy to give her, her first kiss ever... I couldn't help but think of the way her lips felt against mine and the softness of them and oh how sweet they tasted... I was noticing that when a gasp went through her lips when I deepened the kiss with my tongue, so damn cute....

A kiss from a girl like her has never had effect on me like this let alone this kind of feeling's...

Logan - Why the fuck am I'm thinking of her and her lips, he says this out loud to himself.... I tried to distracted myself from thinking of Tess and her lips so I grab my phone from my pocket and I went to my Instagram account and I found Tess on my account....

So I started thinking for a few minutes should I send a request, I just rolled my eyes and put my phone away... It hasn't even been 5 minutes later and I was once again thinking about Tess and if I should just send the damn request.... FUCK!! Why the hell am I'm acting like this she's just a fucking job... Oh come on man get your shit together....

Logan - Shit! She didn't give me her phone number and I still need to be able to communicate with her so this really is the best options....

So I pressed the follow button and I put my phone away and I started to get ready for bed... Once I went back to my bed I saw that she has already accepted my request...

I started looking through her photos on her Instagram account and I noticed she didn't have a lot of selfies or pictures of herself... As I was scrolling through more of her pictures, I saw one where she with these two people it looks like they are best friends.... A boy called Darius and a girl name Riya and it looks like Darius and Riya are dating... It seems like Tess only hangs out with both of them a lot...

This makes my job so much easier then and as I smiled to myself and soon my eyes was getting heavier and I drifted off to sleep....

Early in the morning I got this crazy idea I should invite her to the sideshow and show her a side of myself... The only side I will let her see plus I be in my own damn element... I started typing and I just put some stupid pick up line and I know that this will make her blush...

Logan - I send her that and the address and time where to meet me for our date...

I went down to eat breakfast and started working on the car that was due yesterday and I took a look at my phone and nothing, she hasn't even text back or anything... Shit! I was thinking maybe I over did it with kissing her last night...

No it's not that maybe she just realized I'm not someone she wants to be dating... Why would she date a lowlife like me but fuck I need her.... I mean I need her for the job of course and I can't let Teppei Kaneko down...

Sever hours have passed and I still haven't received a text from Tess yet and as I was about to give up when her text came through...

Tessa - Sure, I Be There ☺️

I let out a breath that I was holding in and I thought to myself my plan is working, soon we will have what we need to know...

Later on that day I went back up to my loft to get some sleep for tonight and soon there was a knock on my door that woke me up...

Mona - stop slacking off, boss wants to see you”.

I got up and head to his office when I got there he was working on something.

Kaneko - Logan, I need you to take this documents and give them to this man his name is Fabien Ahmad”.

I look at the time shit! I don’t have to much time I have to see Tessa.

Logan - where is he?”

Kaneko - he is going to be at the sideshow tonight”.

I felt relieved because that the same location that I'm meeting Tess for our date and I can give these documents to him there before I go meet her...

A while later at the sideshow

Logan - Hey are you Fabien Ahmad ? “

Fabien - Depending what do you want?”

Logan - Kaneko sent you this “. I give him the documents and make my way around the sideshow, Tessa should be here already ,where is she ?

When I finally found her my fucking eyes went wide and they started to wonder on her perfect body Holy Shit she looks hot tonight.... She was wearing shorts that makes her legs look delicious and some red and black top that adjust perfect to her upper body... I can't look away so I decided to walk where she is and without taking my eyes off of her... As I get closer I realized she talking to someone...

Some dude on a motorcycle looking like he is full of himself...

Colt - Ah, here comes the white Knight in shinning armor now..

I was only fucking late for 5 minutes and some asshole took that chance to talk to her to get her for himself.

Logan - Who this? I asked

Colt - The guy who had to keep your little girlfriend company he said while looking up and down Tess body...

This action annoyed the fuck out of me and who the fuck does this fool think he is, she with me....

Colt - I can see what you like about this guy, sweetheart. He said mocking Logan

What the fuck does that supposed to mean?? Why is he calling her sweetheart and why does he keep looking at her like that, like he know her... He such a tool and my blood is starting to boil over but I managed to keep it together....

Logan - you really trying to test my patient, aren’t you??

I'm seriously starting to consider beating this asshole up...

Tessa - everything is fine. promise

Tess voice is so soothing for me until this asshole winks at her and said I see you around... Like fuck you will! I will never let her be alone in here again for an asshole like you talk to her.

After the biker guy let me and Tess starting talking for awhile now and my eyes couldn't look away from her... She looks so damn hot tonight and before I could stop myself my hand was already touching her smooth skin..

As I was showing Tess around the sideshow I noticed that a lot of fucking guys and girls were checking her out...

So I took her by the hand and I glared at all the people who was staring at Tess and I said fucking try something.. She’s with me and only me and god help anyone who trys to take her away from me tonight...

Dammit why do I feel like this, why I am acting all possessive of her I have never care if someone else was checking out the girl I was withs so why do is care so much when they do it to Tess.

As we continue to walk around the sideshow I saw that she was amazed by this place..

Tessa - You don't have anything to prove to me Logan.. hearing her say that makes me feel so good inside because my entire life I had to prove to others and myself... Hearing her say that feels really good and warm inside that I never felt before... Damnit what is she doing to me but I have to shake this feeling she just a job...

Logan - Sure I do. I’ve got something to prove to everybody”.

Trying to change the subject quickly as possible lead us to Vaughn food truck it’s weird I never thought I would present someone to him let alone a girl after all he’s the only family I have and Tess is special...

Fuck Logan she is just a job get that in your head and even if she wasn’t you don’t deserve her.

We eat and talk with Vaughn for a while as I expected he likes her, Vaughn then tells me that Kaneko he’s looking for me. He will be pleased to see that I’m hanging out with Tessa ,still why would he be looking for me .

As we make our way to Kaneko , Tess ask me about him ,I tell her who he is and my relationship with him and after that I tell her a little and the jobs I do for him. When we arrive I start talking to him then his gaze fell on Tessa.

Kaneko - And who might this be?”

Tessa - l’m Tessa, Logan’s date.”

Tess answers before I could say something , I like that about her she isn’t waiting for someone else to present her she do that herself , but she says it a little Shyly but I who wouldn’t get shy in kanekos gaze.

I Fake explain him about yesterday‘s events and he lectured me as if he didn’t know about it. Then I am lead away from Tessa for kaneko.

Kaneko - You invite the girl here ? “

Logan - yeah I thought it would be good showing her a side of me so she Has to trust me more”.

Kaneko - good thinking anyways I need you to look after my car while I take care of some matters”.

He leaves and it’s just me and Tess again i feel she is a little tense about what just happened with kaneko so I flirt a little to dismiss the tension we walk to other part of the sideshow. I see Tess eying The dance floor with awe and after a small talk I managed to convinced her to dance with me, I normally don’t dance in this place but I am not letting the opportunity to feel Tessa’s Body pressed against mine past.

We started dancing she looked tense at the beginning but she loses up after a while, at one point of the song we look at each other’s eyes I am completely dumbfounded by her beautiful eyes.

When she catch the beat she turned around so now her ass is press against my length, this is so fucking hot I feel my cock twitch, dammit I can’t get hard right now. What is happening to me?

I mean yeah , I have had girls dance on me like this before but doing it with Tess is different, is hotter , is better I don’t understand how but it is , fuck, looking at her moving her hips against mine is so hot and above all she’s wearing this little outfit that makes me want to rip it off.

Soon this song ends and another one starts she looks back at me ....damn she’s beautiful even when she is covered of sweat.

Tessa - I Think I’ve embarrassed myself enough for one day. . .

No no no, this moment can’t end yet. I pulled her back to me and convince her to dance with me again, as I wrap a hand on her Waist the other one find her hand , this feels more intimate than the last one.

Tessa - where do you learn to dance like this?”

Logan - Around”

Tessa - girls?”

Is she jealous? Tess not even Hundreds of dances with any of them can come close to a single dance with you ,Tessa you actually make me feel something.

I keep those words to myself.

After a while in the song I spin her and pull her back to me, my self control left my body when I started to trail my hand down her soft hair but I didn’t stop there even If i wanted to I can’t, then I touch her pink cheeks, her throat , the middle of her chest. As I am doing that I realize how good it feels to have her like this , to be the only one to have her in their arms, to be the only one in her eyes, to be the only one touching her and soon she is asking me to kiss her, now been the only one she kiss.

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[masslessobtrusion]

This was the last conversation I had with Lauren before she passed away...

It’s unedited besides some names and cities. Lauren It hurts me and stresses me out and triggers me to know you're high right now and I just celebrated my 90 days completely sober from everything yesterday and I want to cry and because of that i can't talk to you for my sake and well-being because this is the first time in my life I have put myself first and I feel great except I'm stressed out now. It's nice to have a sober support group to help, but still ?? Lauren I can't talk to you because I cry and it threatens this great thing I have right now and want to hold on to Ryan I've actually been clean. I'd rather have you as a friend than be high. Lauren That's fucking awesome!! But I need time still and I'm learning patience too Ryan No one talks to me, everyone cancels their plans on me, just because I told them about it. I really need a friend. Lauren It's hard to see you and very confusing and uncomfortable I can't talk to you. Ryan what if I flew you to ****on august 26th. no access to anything and the maywether/McGregor fight is on. the pool is heated, it feels awesome I'll do anything to have you as a friend. Going to home was a nice change in my routine. rollcall is banned forever, markets went down. There's no getting anything. Lauren All I can say is if you want people in your life, open yourself to the idea of AA and get yourself a sponsor and find a way to see what the program is all about past the God stuff. Because what it's really all about is a bunch of fucked up people who have lost everybody and everything getting together and making friends and supporting each other. You will find friends and support through AA. Lauren That's all I have to say. Bye. Ryan Hey, please don't do this. I'm totally good. So many people cut me out of their life. I stopped benzos and kratom is down to one small spoon in the morning. i'm lifting weights. I'm feeling good about uber. Lauren Join AA. Ryan ok Lauren not that you join. Just go. Every day. Ryan if that's what you want me to do to be friends with you. I'll do it. Lauren You will find people. Ryan I don't really want people like that. Just my old friends who don't use. Lauren That's what it will take. AA. Just keep going. Ryan I'm glad it's helping you. It is, right? Lauren More than anything. I have legit friends now and most of all I have support for anything that's bothering me Ryan I figured this would happen. But was hoping that you could not cut me out your life. I won't do anything to hurt you or your sobriety. I promise. Keep me at a distance for a while. But please don't cut me out. Lauren I stay away from guys like they suggest because of 13th stepping Ryan I saw your new fetlife. ?? Lauren AA has changed my life. And no, I don't believe in God. Ryan But I'm glad you're not getting 13th stepped. Lauren I have to until you're completely sober and have a sober support network through either smart recovery, na, or aa Ryan Could you be my support if I need it? I don't care about drugs. I just want a friend to bullshit with. Lauren I can't because men stick with men and women with women for distraction purposes Ryan and you've been my best friend for a long time now. I don't care if you have a boyfriend or you're getting tied up and stuff. Lauren Do AA. You'll meet people and see them everyday at meetings. Its nice Ryan I like you so much. It would be devastating. I'll do it. I have a pinball tournament tonight and am possibly meeting up with arielle, her boyfriend, and ashley. But feel like they'll flake. But I'm still playing pinball. I'll go to a meeting ASAP. I promise. I mean it. Lauren It would seriously be the best thing you ever do. You'll thank me, I promise. But you have to keep going even if you think it's a crock of shit at first. People start off going in pissed off all the time until they start to realize it helps. Ryan I'll probably do NA though. The way you're talking feels like you've be indoctrinated into something that excludes people. I'm glad that you're safe and being healthy though. but i want your friendship. It's pretty much the most meaningful thing to me. and to lose that. I would have nothing. I've been hanging on, waiting for you all of this time. I want to be a positive influence for you Lauren I wouldn't say that. I would say check out both. I've found the people in AA are better but na is more relatable People in na tell more war stories so it might be a better place to start off because you'll have stuff to talk about. Thing is though more people go to meetings high than in aa Ryan I met a new girl too. Nothing serious. But it's a confidence boost. And you're still #1 to me. Lauren All I can tell you is that If you keep going every day you will meet people you can relate to and who will be there for you Ryan actually, I probably won't see her for a long time, because she's moving. okay, I love you though and want you to be my best friend. What's the word? Standard? Just, no matter what. Always be available to me. This attitude that you have is good. You're in control and you set the rules. I'm okay with that. I don't want to be abandoned again. It's the shittiest feeling. and I don't want you to say it's selfish. Lauren I'm available if you get sober because once you're sober, in order to stay sober it's a good idea to avoid people who are using or drinking. It makes sense... Ryan Because you're the only person that really knows me and one of the very few humans that will talk to me. Lauren sober Ryan would be like the Ryan I first met biking... trail running... Ryan I didn't do anything bad. I won't in the future either. Lauren POSITIVE. http://www.*****.org/meetings Meetings | ***** Area of Narcotics Anonymous The 8888Area is part of the *** Region of NA with meetings in ***, Brighton, Longmont, and Louisville, Nederland, and Westminster. ********.org Ryan guhhhh, my cardio sucks, but I've been lifting dumb bells and push ups and I gained some weight. I'm like 155-160 Lauren it sucked when you first started doing it years ago but you got past it and felt great! I remember. You were so confident! it's such a relief to hear you're on the right path Ryan shoulder pain still controls me. Lauren really. Ryan yes. Would you want to go to STL with me next month, get an airbnb? or I could fly out there? Lauren Here. Go to the Longmont one at 7pm tonight while it's still fresh from talking to me http://www.*******.org/meetings/wednsday Ryan and you can see me being healthy and sober. I have plans tonight. Pinball and possibly friends. But definitely pinball. Lauren I'm going to be at the halfway house next month. I'm staying with my uncle until a space is available it's a tournament? Ryan yeah Lauren then go tomorrow http://www.*******.org/meetings/thursday Ryan and i wanted to see if arielle and her bf wanted to get happy hour sushi before. Lauren seriously, ignore everything "god" and just meet people Ryan and ashley said she would hang out and smoke weed with me from a guy she knows that grows and she bought a bunch. but everyone flakes out. Even Robin did for camp dick, planned it 2 weeks ahead. Then he tells me his friend is having a going away party that weekend a few days before. Lauren well I hope everything works out Ryan I'll go tomorrow. Lauren let me know how it goes otherwise don't message me because it'll just make me sad ?? Ryan cool well, not the sad part but yeah, i'll do anything to keep our friendship going. Lauren you're going to meet people. that's what I think is going to be the best and when they ask if anyone's there for the first time... introduce yourself as Ryan and say it's your first na meeting ever Ryan okay thanks for the tips, anything else? Lauren people will come find you and introduce themselves. it's cool how friendly people there are. because they remember what it was like yeah... hang around awkwardly afterwards or bum a cigarette from someone and talk to them if no one comes to you lol Ryan If I do well and meet your expectations, can we hang out? people don't even talk to me at pinball. i hate it. sooooo many times, i start talking to someone and they just start talking to someone else Lauren maybe once you have some clean/sober time under your belt Ryan 15 days so far Lauren that's what's so cool! addicts love to talk to other addicts because they're blacksheep too no alcohol? Ryan i drank at my parents less than they did Lauren dude I found not drinking at all has helped with my mood SO much. just saying for me. Ryan I don't really drink alcohol though. Lauren i know you're going to meet people who are a lot like you I think you'll be surprised Ryan that's a possibility, but really. I'd rather just not have anything drug related in my life. Lauren "hey I'm Ryan. I'm an addict. It's my first time at any kind of meeting like this" Ryan I'm going to check it out though. Lauren thanks Ryan You'll be safe in St. Louis. Lauren it's going to be a while Ryan and we could watch the fights Lauren one step at a time. Ryan well, should I sell my vouchers then? Lauren yeah Ryan :( Lauren or find someone else because i can't go Ryan that was a little dramatic of an emoji Lauren oh lol Ryan but i just wanted a sad face Lauren got it Ryan so, how is fetlife? Lauren I have to go but I'll let you know I just chat with people and still haven't met up with anyone Ryan it kind of worries me. Lauren the tail pic is from my friend Richie who we webcammed with the one time (first kiss/high school friend) it was casual. Ryan doesn't seem like a sober living thing to do. But I suppose it's your rules. Lauren yeah, I'm more looking for a girl Ryan nice want to see the girl I've been hanging out with? Lauren no dude! Ryan ok Lauren hah ouch. talking to you hurts me enough Ryan oh Lauren but anyway I have to go Ryan I didn't mean to do that. I got the feeling that you didn't care. Ok, so, can I still talk to you and stuff. I'm so lonely. Lauren I just can't help but want to help you feel like you used to and find friends shit i'm so fucking up you really can't ?? Ryan I don't want rehab friends. I want hobby friends. Lauren it's part of my treatment plan and stuff that's not even AA related Ryan cool, I like hearing that you have a plan. Lauren yeah. i'm just doing what they tell me because i don't ever want to go back to drinking like i was a couple months ago or shooting dope obviously my decisions don't exactly work so i'm letting them make decisions for me... weird as that sounds. but it's working well so far ?? Ryan then don't talk about it until you're good at it. awesome I just hope you don't get taken advantage of mentally or physically. Lauren nah, i'm still ultimately in control of my life Ryan you're my #1 human. I don't want to lose you. I'll go tomorrow. Let you know about it. Lauren anyway, i can't talk to you for a while. but do the na/aa thing to make sure you stay sober (the counting days part is kind of cool too) and then we'll talk in a couple of months. but go everyday as something to do and a way to socialize and get out of that apartment Ryan a couple of months? why? I would never do that to someone. Lauren because i'm still fresh and easily stressed and because i want to make sure you're committed to this sobreity thing Ryan who is asking for help and it's me Lauren i'm letting you know it's what I feel is best for me it's a couple of months. it's not a couple years. Ryan okay, but I'll support you too. Lauren you can randomly message me with how many days you have Ryan I feel like, just empty. i knew this would happen. Lauren if I don't respond don't think I don't care... know that I'm seriously smiling Ryan my intuition, you know it's legit. Lauren you've got this . Ryan we're no different than the hundreds of stories I've read Lauren now go out and meet people! *hug* Ryan I'm willing to support and help you with whatever you want. Lauren bye Ryan You're giving me a "god bless" like southern women do when they really mean something else. it's not necessary. fuck now I have absolutely zero people who I thought care about me. I've reached out to so many people. This isn't helping anything. If it were, I would tell you. You're super hot too. I don't think you realize how much of a difference that makes. Why not make me go to a reddit meetup or something, maybe I could network instead of focusing on drugs with current and former addicts. I've always disliked other users. You know this. Just bringing up counter arguments. annnnd Ashley just flaked out, didn't see that coming. Arielle flaking out should happen in about an hour. I may go camping by myself, just not ask anyone to go, because they just flake out 9/10 times. Dude, I have no one to talk to. and I want to talk to you. I'm going to go crazy talking to myself, without you responding. Can we set up a schedule to talk? Ryan I'm telling you that this hurts me. It does. I hate being abandoned, not invited and flaked out on more than anything. I feel kind of used too. I was there for you all of this time. All of the phone calls. And then I'm abandoned when I'm doing what I consider good. Those people are going to tell you to tell me to fuck off. That's what makes me think about cults and seperation. It's black and white. And I'm not black and white. so, i'm begging you, whatever is in your head. Just treat me like you used to. Please, I'm desperate as can be. So, can we set a scheduled time, so there isn't random ghostings. annnnnd Arielle just cancelled. Lauren And this is why I fucked up in talking to you. Now I feel guilty and stresses out. Learn patience. Good. Bye. Ryan What did I do? I'm asking for help and friendship. I'm being nice as can be. Am I not? Tell me what I'm doing wrong, so I can learn from mistakes. and im blocked wtf, you really just unfriended me? Lauren? please I would never do this to you. You don't feel like it's wrong at all? i'm just going to cry and remember that everyone treats me like shit. I'm some worthless piece of shit. So I deserve to be treated like one. I would never ever treat you or anyone like this. Lauren I blocked you then realized there was a take a break option then unblocked to do that but realized,you can still message me and now I have to wait 48 hours to block you So please let me take a break! Ryan Don't block me Lauren For my Fucking sobriety This is why they tell me not to talk to you! Ryan why, even think about it. I want you to be sober. I'm being supportive. Lauren I'm stressed as fuck now You're NOT! Ryan Yeah, they do that to everyone. It's like a cult. Like I said earlier. I've read hundreds of stories. But you can make exceptions. If you have a friend in need of help. Lauren You're making me feel guilty and stresses and cry because you're not letting me go for a while Ryan I'm not asking for much. I said I would go to an NA meeting tomorrow. Lauren Just PLEASE stop messaging me For me. Ahhhhhhh! PLEASE. Ryan I just want you to respond or have a certain timeframe of when you can respond to me. Otherwise I get upset. Lauren I. don't. Know. Ryan because I have NO ONE to talk to. absolutely no one. Lauren When you're 90 days clean and sober from everything, ok? Use meetings to help Now please Let me go This is killing me Ryan It doesn't have to be so black and white. I'm on your side and you're treating me like an enemy. I've always been on your side. I want to help you. Lauren Because you're being an enemy to my sobriety and my well being and it's selfish. Ryan I didn't do anything. I sent you pictures of a dog and told you77777 that I'm sober. I was being happy and stuff Lauren Leave me alone!!!!!! Don't talk to me. Ryan ok9 Get some sober time and then talk to me. But don't talk to me now. Thank you Ryan I'm fine and the most sober I've been in a long time. it's not a competition. but i will look elsewhere for friendship, or just cut myself or something. This sucks either way. I'm not going to be your enemy. Because I'm not and never will be. I just lost my best friend of 3-4 years. The closest friend I've ever had.