#I...fuckin...listen ok
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“Mistakes on mistakes until” ch 69 spoilers below!



Ahahahahahahah here I go again
Mistakes on mistakes until until I can draw Jazz with my eyes closed
I woke up, checked my phone, woke up for real and decided that whatever plans I had for this day yeah no they can wait a little bit kfkgnfk
Also. Consider listening this while reading. Or don't who am I to tell you what to do~
#maccadam#transformers#Jazz#Meister#Starscream#L I S T E N#I THINK#The “Jazz” is a hologram and “Meister” is the Real Jazz#because yeah It totally makes sense. Soundwave touched Meister so Meister must be real. And Hound could just create the hologram of Jazz#but....b u t#I can't stop thinking that there's might be something more#like...Hound wasn't exactly wery well hidden. For the love of god STArScream saw him and talked about him#and we all know than Soundwave is a fucking all seeing eye of Sauron when it comes to watching suspicious activity#I...fuckin...listen ok#Meister's plan with second Jazz is so damn clever bc it would literally show to Soundwave how Jazz and Meister can stand in the same room#but I can't help but feel that Sounders is inevitably going to discover Hound and unlike Starscream he surely knows what Hounds “thing” is#or maybe I'm just paranoid. .#maybe Jazz..I mean Meister knows something I don't#i mean duh of course he does#augh I need to stop before by brain spins itself to shreds#This fic made me overthink every detail with double intensity haha#Also. ALSO. We might see the confrontation between Meister and Jazz I feel. we might. it makes me want to giggle for some reson kgkgkg#fic fanart#momu fanart
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DEVASTATING the lyric you've been mishearing is better than the real one
#i've been listening to icarus by bastille#and for some reason my brain fills in 'this is how it feels to take a fall' as 'this is how it feels to take off all your skin'#and like fuck man#and I KNOW that’s technically not a misheard lyric but my post my rules cope#anyway my line now#also probably phrased this poorly but its ok#im allowed to be incomprehensible#as a treat#and then fuckin#from we sink by of monsters and men#the original line was 'please look away dont look at me'#and i kept hearing it as 'please learn a way to look at me'#anyway#shoving this post in the queue but please be aware that i am writing it very late at night#q
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was talking to my brother the other day after i rewatched dark phoenix and he was like 'why is everyone so mean to charles in this movie?? were they always this mean to him ?? is it cause he's bald now- he lost his pretty privilege??' and i fear i havent recovered
#xmen#xmen movies#dark phoenix#charles xavier#professor x#snap chats#LIKE HE'S RIGHT 1000% I JUST DIDN'T EXPECT HIM TO SAY IT VLERKVJAKLJ#ANOTHER banger of a quote from my brother chat i screamed when he said that#adopting that into my belief system i fear#like really thinking on it they really did only start being especially rude after apocalypse im crying#dont quote me on that i have to rewatch apocalypse but as far as im aware. yeah 😭😭#and its SUCH a travesty cause i love how mcavoy looked in DP SO much he looks so good bald#like please if we were going to wrap up this era of xmen films why did we have to rerun DP#can we try again. please. i need him bald one more time in a movie i dont have to argue with myself i like#see DP wasnt the worst thing ever. probably. like scott got to do things again ..... and kurt .......#and the paris proposal. never forget that.#ALSO THE FUCKIN. 'no one cares charles' BIT ???? 97 ref'd that directly i know they did and i cheered#listen if they can ref the 'black leather suits' from the xmen movies i can believe they called back to that too <- delusional#anyway when james said thats the meanest thing erik could say/do to charles .... he was cooking ....#'thats the type of thing your wife/husband says' he was so right .... we know james never misses with the cherik takes tho#ok bye i have obligations that i need to complete so i can draw my favorite cue ball
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A portrait of Sir John Herschel because I‘m normal about Pulp Musicals
#yall don’t understand this took so long- amongst the five different versions this went through it took a total of 22 hours#and it’s finally done#god I love sir John Herschel#truly THE guy ever#it’s crazy because I started this way back in the beginning of April and finally picked it back up on Wednesday right before they announced#pulp 4 which I’m so fuckin excited about by the way#oh my god it’s going to wreck me I’m so pumped#and now I gotta get ready for pulp fortnight#but yeah I really wanted to draw him and I wanted to try something more elaborate that some of my typical stuff#I was going to do the shit where artists do the shading in greyscale and then overlay the flat colors but I decided fuck that#because I like to enjoy drawing and as I found out I DO NOT enjoy that#also for some reason doing realism and drawing curt is SO much harder than what I typically do#it took sooooooo long to get him down and make it actually look like him#oh hey fun fact about this drawing before I do my fun fact- I used a screenshot of Duke as a reference for this#ok now for a real fun fact#fun fact: Asteroids can sometimes have moons and rings of their own#alright now I’ve got a billion other drawings to go work on because the grind never stops yall#sir john herschel#john herschel#pulp musicals#the great moon hoax#the brick satellite#the ghost of the antikythera#Curt mega#my art#god yall I love pulp musicals#I’m so insanely pumped for pulp 4 it’s going to be the raddest thing ever#EVERYONE WHO IS READING THIS NEEDS TO GO LISTEN TO PULP MUSICALS PRONTO /nf#PLEASE (its on Apple Music and Spotify)
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some ultrakill fans flaming people for playing on lenient/harmless is so funny to me because here i am in my little corner playing on harmless with Also 100% damage reduction (in major assist settings) because my severe anxiety cannot handle the idea of me taking any damage at all . i am wearing my propeller hat and eating my lollipop and i am having fun :3 (and maybe one day i can ease that anxiety and play without major assists)
#me when my crippling anxiety is crippling fr#listen . its not as if i Want to get fucking heart palpitations whenever a few goddamn filth spawn in a room#its just how it is . and the only way to ease my irrational ass anxiety is by becoming fucking invincible#I KNOW ULTRAKILL IS SUPPOSED TO BE A (at least somewhat) STRESSFUL AND FAST PACED GAME !!! do not get me wrong#but holy shit man . do not underestimate my anxiety#fucking minecraft survival stresses me out when i encounter a fuckin skeleton (unless its multiplayer . then Suddenly all is ok . stupid#ass anxiety bruh fml)#prelude was stressing me out . PRELUDE . THE FUCKING TUTORIAL#im hoping i can ease up and slowly raise the damage taken to at least like 50% . eventually#im on 1% damage rn because even raising from 0 to 5 was scary LMAOO#like its not as if i want to play it the fuckin baby way . i WANT to be able to actually play ultrakill with damage n shit#but i just have to ease into it ig . because i cant even play video games without my anxiety screaming at me smh . fym my anxiety is a#permanent fixture in my life ? bullshit#im just hoping i can play Normally someday . eventually . because while playing with like 0 damage is more fun than being stressed out 24/7#it Is ofc . a little boring (bc No Shit) .#i want to challenge myself and i will . eventually#surely if ive done all a b and c sides in celeste i can do ultrakill on harmless haha right#ignore the fact that theyre two completely different games and that ive never played an fps in my life#and also that i have 15k deaths in celeste LOL (at least the idea of dying in that game isnt terrifying . shrug)#intense games like ultrakill just aint for everyone . thats why the assist options are there and why there r easier modes#theyre there for losers (/lh) like Me !!!! and i appreciate that theyre in the game bc i Do rlly like ultrakill#and i Do rlly want to play it (‘properly’ someday) . its js that ppl have issues like motion sickness or anxiety#and if they need assistance or an easier difficulty to enjoy the game then thats fuckin fine#literally who cares . ive watched so many videos on ultrakill now and ive seen all the tech n shit and know all the lore#its not as if i dont know the game enough to play it properly lmao#but sigh . at least i can do fun movement tech (except boosting . havent tried yet idk) like slam storage#movement is ez . combat is Hard (but not in the usual way like aim . just Anxiety™)#im ranting so much im such a yapper . anyway#ultrakill#kristiliyaps
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guy i had a weird kind of homo thing going on with in high school who never admitted anything to me bc he was too repressed just came out as pansexual in the groupchat. do i kill this guy or what
#NO HATE#ok listen theres nuance here#NOT HIS FAULT HE WAS REPRESSED#but like.#i KNOW he liked me. i know he did. and i really liked him#he. ok. listen. its an awful thing really bc he probably doesnt even think about me#and its been so long i shouldnt be bitter about it bc i barely remember high school#but i’m bitter. i hate this guy. if he asked me to theres almost nothing i wouldnt do. but that’s because i’m a whore. who has problems#soren talks#FUCKIN WHATEVER MAN#in early college i used to think maybe we’d find our way to each other. i think that’s not whst i want but it could happen. but i dont—#think it should#ok fucking whatever i dont even care.
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What if Christos Lawton is the one responsible for putting I Say A Little Prayer For You on the official George Hodgson playlist. What then. On the one hand I would have to set myself on fire but on the other hand it would be FANTASTIC news for whoever authored my all time favorite post on the Cold Boys Kink Meme
#I just love the way it's worded. There's something so beautiful about it. Something freeing. Why shouldn't they indeed.#The odds of this are probably even worse than the standard ''1 out of however-many-songs-on-the-playlist chance'' for various reasons.#But I can't stop thinking about it.#Can't believe this prompt is unfilled btw. especially after witnessing the camp discord during the infamous Garrigan/Harris video call.#The RPF fandom very clearly yearns for. well. the RPF.#also yes that link does lead to the famous Epaulette Shimmying video. of course. god bless. my favorite video in the whole world <3#Starky's Original Posts#ok last time I made a post and deliberately did the responsible thing#and kept my ship tag out of the first five tags so it wouldn't pollute the actual ship tag seen by everyone else#but then to my horror it showed up there anyways#hopefully that doesn't happen again smfh#hodgving#the terror#''so did you finally fuckin--'' NO I'm not allowed to look/listen til Tuesday at the earliest. OCD said so and also at this point I need it#to bait myself into getting through the day. there's too much to do and my will to do literally anything at all#is at just about the lowest it's ever been#I haven't eaten anything besides a few crackers and pretzels for three days.#good good. it isn't even hungry anymore. it doesn't even want to live.#BUT. I WANT GEORGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3<3<3 SO WE PERSIST
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What if the Overlord was just a shapeshifting creature I think that would be cool
And and and what if the Overlord changed forms depending on who it was around for better or worse impressions. wouldn't that be such an interesting plot device
#guys listen Im really proud of the dragon ok#i fuckin LOVE wierd ass dragons but theyre so DIFFICULT to draw its an actual crime#ninjago overlord
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I’m finally biting the bullet and contacting a therapist today after being ambivalent ab it for so long… this hellsite has its many disadvantages but one thing I can say is it has truly helped me be less scared of pursuing therapy. Silver lining etc etc
#And to be clear I have nothing against therapy. I’ve seen it do wonders for other people#I think the reason it’s a point of defeat (just a little) for me to be like ok. I need a therapist. Is bc I’m admitting to myself that I#need one to begin w. And I get it’s not healthy but I always liked to think I could handle anything by myself#That was even the whole point of this blog. It was supposed to serve as a conduit for these feelings#And I’m not saying I don’t have a support system. I do. I have many wonderful friends#But I struggle to be vulnerable at all tbh and whenever I am I’m guilty ab it bc#I understand so many people have busy lives & I feel like an emotional burden on them by venting#Despite them telling me that it’s totally fine. Obvi a therapist is literally paid to listen so no guilt there#And I think that’s what I need#I’m not like on the brink of a psychotic break or anything but it’s just little things. I think it’d be nice to sit in someone’s office for#One hour a week and just go. That did bother me actually. I am tired actually. I do feel that way actually.#Rather than just burying my feelings w school and a busy schedule#I don’t think therapy will make me any less of a workaholic anytime soon but it’ll at least allow me to slow down one hour a week#And also not bottle shit up so fuckin much#But ya all of this is to say I’m drafting the email to her RIGHT now .#Starting the day off strong by oversharing on tumblr dot com
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He was just a potato and now he is so majestic and the handsome guy ever he’s like my little brother to me ok. my silly
#I’m so fuckin high right now but listen to me. listen to me. I’m right and correct#and correct#ok. ok#he is so beaitifil creatue.#I love him SO much#SO MUCH#halcyonia#ninjago#ninjago dragons rising#Riyu#Ninjago riyu#dragons rising riyu
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i know ive made myself the #1 izutsumi stan in the eyes of all of my friends and probably some of you online people but what if i became a mithrun stan. there is something about him that compels me. i just want to *clenches fist* put him on the drying rack. lovingly stick him into a tupperware for later. make him into. a broth of some sort. do you understand
#posts that probably look deranged to anime onlies. listen you will understand#i love you vegetable scrap man! wet cardboard man! pathetic crumpled up piece of laundry!#dunmeshi#ok uh manga spoilers in the following tags#the dichotomy of favorite characters...#feral teen girl who always follows all her desires vs damp middle aged elf man who is incapable of desiring anything....#and the BEST thing with mithrun is kabru has to babysit him. like out of anyone to babysit mithrun. kabru is objectively the funniest#but like. seriously the whole. you will gain new desires every day! thing. sobs#i know a lot of ppl relate to mithrun for that. i personally relate more to izutsumi if im being real here#but mithrun still makes me go OOUUUUGHHGHGH THERE IS ALWAYS SOMETHING TO STRIVE FOR TO KEEP LIVING FOOOOOORRRRRRR#also i like his design. his very specific hair. the fuckin. big shirt over the armor im obsessed with. the missing eye#the way he goes from 200% when he's got the lion in his sights to -500% literally any other time#kabru being like AH POWERFUL ELF MAGE GOTTA GET READY TO DEFEND MYSELF SOME MORE why are u just sitting there. hello#i haven't posted any mithrun art bc i haven't had time to sit down and finish a real piece#but ive been doodling him on any scrap of paper that finds its way into my hands literally any chance i get#the whole weekend i tabled at animzement i just sat there and doodled izutsumi and mithrun in my notebook#im gonna draw him for real tho. soon. im putting in my 2 weeks tomorrow and then i will have more art time
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So- Spytown?
I’m in love with this au so much
Inspired by @dxppercxdxver ‘s Spies Are Forever/Hadestown AU. Also by @szollibisz incredible, just out of this world art, and @smytherines many, many text posts about it from the past few days.
#ignore the shitty background#and mid lighting#I do what I want#and what I want is to half ass those parts#I just really wanted to finish this bc I love the au so much#was listening to Hadestown while drawing this#did you know there are 40 tracks to that musical???#that’s so many!#y’know fun fact#I have yet to read the fics this is based on#trust me I’ll read this week I swear#but yeah this was fun#what great musicals#the both of them#btw lemme just say I’m in love with hadestown’s set#so fuckin cool#ok yeah I’m done now#spies are forever#hadestown#agent Curt mega#Curt mega#owen carvour#joey richter#tin can bros#spytown#my art#:)
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shoddy tl rn but im feeling it the kenhaji amv materialising in my head
youtube
#anyone fuckin with me#this was the last one on this album i hadnt tled n i was listening to it the other day in class like Ok wait. Ok waitttt#tl#Youtube
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The Silt Verses is a Comedy










#tsv 44#the silly verses. even. (is in shambles)#my sibling listened to it on the plane made it 100x funnier i wish i were her fr#WHAT DO YOU MEAN JUST REMEMBERED THE CLS EXISTED#i yell#edit: added transcripts screenshots#i did not expect half of it to be Carson's#the silt verses#and for the other half to be cross#like. it's only the first 20 mins#ok the tags are getting super long but i just wanna say i put cross fumbling in there is becuase he geniuinely fuckin tried and thats#commendable but him being a flop is so funny to the sane time it’s charming#carson’s ‘’just you wait’’ comment is also. girl the next episode is the finale
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did a final exam today, (was open for 12 hours so u could do it whenever) was supposed to be 2 hours of work, hey for sure took me 7-8. for suresies
#its stats#and because im a fuckwit i didnt notice i had missed a test worth 30% of my grade so now i need to score at least 67% on this to pass#fuckin hope i do#i dont wanna do a makeup piece of lit i hate statistics. sorry ayana love u#uninterrupted too. i sat my white ass down and listened#adhd isnt real if you think you might die#oh fuck still gotta book to be diagnosed with adhd. ok maybe its real
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"Maybe if we hope enough, the universe will take pity" is sure a thing I just said in reference to clinging to catholic rituals as a familiar comfort despite not holding the beliefs
#drag rambles#my husband called this one out specifically LMAO#i was yapping about doing silly things like bringing rosary beads to exams#and repeating the Hail Mary in English and Irish just in case someone may be listening#also to be v clear; I did not casually choose catholicism at random ok a bitch went to catholic school for 14 fuckin years 😭
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