#it’s crazy because I started this way back in the beginning of April and finally picked it back up on Wednesday right before they announced

[ricky-mortis]

A portrait of Sir John Herschel because I‘m normal about Pulp Musicals

[peachhcs]

the draft & the night everything changed

hughes!sister x will smith au

the night samy and will finally realize they both have feelings for one another at the nhl draft in nashville.

1.7k words

for the first real fic i’m starting with the draft which basically started samy & will’s relationship! the confessions will be its own separate post & again i’m open to asks and things you guys wanna see in this au! :)

au masterlist | part 2

with all the press and interviews, samy hardly got to see will or any of the boys before the draft. she sat with her family in their hotel room as all of them got ready for the very special and exciting night. will would periodically text her updates about everything he was doing making the brunette smile each time her phone buzzed on the table.

she smiled seeing a picture will sent dressed in his suit almost ready to head out into the seats. she loved the navy and pink combination—also loving that he took her suggestions when he sent her choices a few months back. samy quickly snapped a photo back of her own dress she was wearing. it was a simple pink and black with a small opening across her midsection. she wasn't sure if it was too little for what seemed like such a classy event, but grace quickly reassured her that she looked perfect.

her entire family experienced the draft three times already, so they knew what was coming and what to expect, but samy couldn't help the butterflies in her stomach for her best friend about to get picked in the first round tonight. will was one of the best players in this draft class and even though she's hardly seen him since they got to nashville, she knew he was feeling all of the emotions.

her phone buzzed again meaning will texted her back.

will

wow you look gorgeous

his text immediately caused a blush across samy's cheeks. her head spun around making sure none of her family saw her red face before quickly sending a text back.

samy

i'll see you out there :)

the nauseating feeling in samy's stomach had been there for days. anytime she thought about will, her heart raced. she started getting excited anytime her phone buzzed hoping it was her best friend texting her back. it was..it was a weird feeling. she's never felt that way whenever will texted. at least not since the beginning of april. she didn't know what it meant nor did she really want to know because maybe deep down, she did know.

after another ten minutes, samy followed her family into the arena. there was so many people pushing past them trying to find their seats or quickly interview the draft prospects before they got seated. mrs. hughes led the way in attempt to find anyone they were sitting with. samy's stomach was doing flips with the amount of people shoving and pushing past her. she knew the draft always went crazy, but she forgot just how crazy it really was. luke's draft in the comfort of their own home two years ago was much better than the chaos inside the arena.

"samy!" someone called her name. the girl quickly spun around trying to find the source when she saw gabe's tall figure waving his hands at her. she tugged on her parents' arms and motioned towards him.

he quickly pushed his way through the crowd until he reached the family. samy was immediately brought into a hug once she was close enough.

"hey, god, this is insane." gabe laughed a little as the rest of his family came up behind him.

"i know, how are you feeling?" samy wondered and admired his fun suit.

"nervous..really nervous." the dark-haired boy admitted.

the brunette’s face softened out as she brushed down his suit jacket. “whatever happens in there is meant to happen. it's gonna be good,” samy reassured.

"have you seen will or ryan yet?" gabe changed the subject.

"i haven't seen either of them since we got here two days ago." samy said with a small frown.

"will should be coming in soon. he was a few people behind me i think." just as gabe said that, samy spotted the familiar mop of blonde hair and will's infamous navy suit scanning the crowd of people.

"i see him." samy said and gabe whipped around to find his best friend.

the girl's feet moved faster than her mind as she pushed her way through everyone to get to will. he finally spotted her and also picked up his speed to meet her in the middle.

will's hands clasped around her back, pulling her into him. the two squeezed one another tightly, taking in the moment and the feeling of finally being together after not getting to see one another yet.

"i'm so glad you're here." will muttered into her shoulder. the girl grinned, rubbing his back in a soothing manner.

the two pulled apart, missing the knowing looks from their families watching them. samy went to hug grace while will hugged gabe.

"it's good to see you again." grace laughed as she exchanged her hug with samy.

"you too, gracie.” the brunette chuckled.

"i hate to break up the reunions, but let's get our seats." mrs. smith said, always rushing people to where they needed to be like always.

everyone nodded and will found his way back to samy's side. the girl wrapped her arm around his. “how are you feeling?" she asked.

"nervous for sure." the blonde laughed. samy smiled, rubbing his arm in hopes of soothing his nerves.

everything about will looked good. his hair was styled perfectly and his suit was pressed making him look clean and classy for the night. the feeling returned in samy's stomach as she gripped his arm through the arena.

the smiths and hughes broke away from gabe's family as they took their seats on opposite ends of the stairs. whatever order mrs. smith had for everyone's seating arrangements was thrown out the window when will insisted samy sat next to him. once again, the two missed the knowing glances from family as mrs. smith gave in and let samy sit next to will.

the absent touches, the closeness, the comments—it wasn't usual to samy and will. they had always been like that, but right now samy was seeing it in a different way. will's fingers brushing across her hand left sparks in its wake. her heart raced anytime he looked at her for longer than he usually did. she just kept telling herself it was all normal. they were usually touchy and close with one another, except this time around samy couldn't get out of her head that something was different. something felt different and she didn't know if will felt it too.

the adrenaline started rising in the room as they got ready to announce the first overall pick. will's hand clasped around samy's with a firm grasp. his face was set and focused, but samy knew he had a 100 different thoughts running through his mind.

connor bedard went 1st pick overall which was pretty expected. he was a very watched player this past year and everyone knew he was probably going first.

as the second and third picks were announced, will knew he was most likely going next. it was all based on the 2nd round pick and everyone held their breaths in anticipation.

“the fourth pick overall for the san jose sharks is pleased to announce will smith." the announcer said.

everyone immediately jumped up as a smile appeared on will's lips. he quickly brought samy into his arms before hugging his parents and sisters. his mom took ahold of his suit jacket as he took it off and made his way down to the stage. gracegrabbed samy's hand, a smile on both of their faces as they watched will put on his new jersey. blue was definitely his color and samy couldn't be prouder of her best friend.

ryan and gabe weren't far after will. samy exchanged hugs with both of the boys as she watched them make their way down to the stage like her brothers did so many years ago.

everyone knew the boys had a bunch of press to do, so they wouldn't ben seeing them until after. samy tried easing her racing mind by talking more with grace and ryan's girlfriend for the time being until she couldn't take her racing thoughts anymore and needed to use the bathroom.

the girl stared at herself in the mirror trying to make sense of why she couldn't stop thinking about will and why her heart clenched every time she saw him. she didn't get it. he was her best friend. she's seen him as a brother for as long as she could remember. why was she suddenly seeing him so differently? why did he make her heart race and her palms sweaty?

samy gained the courage to go back out with everyone. she made her way through the arena when someone called her name. the girl spun around, recognizing the voice from a mile away. will was racing towards her still in his new jersey.

she threw herself into his arms as they hugged one another tightly.

"so proud of you willie." samy said into his shoulder.

"god, this feels so surreal. i don't think i've even processed it yet." will laughed a little as he pulled back some but kept his hands on her waist.

"what did i say? i knew the sharks would take you." the girl laughed as she thought about her predictions for all the boys she made months ago. will smiled, a small blush forming on his cheeks.

"thank you for being here. it..it really means a lot." will said softly. samy smiled and that time as will stared at the girl in front of him, it all fell into place.

the two felt the pull. they felt the racing hearts and the touches. will's gaze never left samy's as her heart beat a bruise into her chest seeing him look at her like that. will's heart was doing the same as samy stared back at him, uncertainty crossing into her features as they stayed like that until someone else's voice broke them apart.

"will!!" it was grace racing towards them with their families hot on her tail. samy and will quickly broke apart just as his older sister reached him and brought him into another loving hug.

samy stepped back, smiling at the sibling’s exchange all while will never took his eyes off of her.

[dreamescapeswriting]

Time Heals All Wounds ~ SCB

WORD COUNT: 3.8k

PAIRING: Changbin x fem!Reader

GENRE: angst, miscommunication, fluffy ending, established relationships, fighting, accusing of cheating, rumours, swearing, cute ending,

⤜Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - April 2023

⤜MASTERLIST

Almost two weeks. That's how long it had been since you and Changbin had been able to go to bed at the same time as you and even be able to hold you in his arms. With everything going on with work he'd found himself busier and busier as each day progressed. However, you seemed to have found comfort with someone else. While 3Racha were all busy making preparations for a show that they would be featuring on and the rest of the members were on a small break from everything. Leading you to spend all of your time with Seungmin, Jeongin and Felix since the four of you seemed to get on the most out of all of the boys - besides your boyfriend of course. Changbin never had an issue with you hanging out with the guys before, in fact, there were multiple times when he had encouraged you to do so if he was busy with something else except now Changbin was beginning to doubt everything around him. Two weeks of you not being around him but with Seungmin and he was starting to go a little insane. 

You: [7:45am] I'll be with Seungmin today, remember to drink water, I love you xx

What could you have possibly been doing from 8 am until now at 10 pm? It seemed almost silly for him to be doubting the two of you together, Changbin knew that you would never do anything to hurt him and he knew Seungmin would never do anything either but somehow logical thinking was gone out of his mind and he was left with the crazy thoughts. It didn't help that there were now photos of you and Seungmin going in and out of the dorms together or to some cafe in the middle of Busan. 

Why did the two of you go all the way to Busan just to go to some cafe? Was it because you thought no one would notice you there? 

Your romantic relationship with Changbin was hidden for now because JYPE wanted to wait for the right moment to announce that one of its members was dating. As far as anyone was concerned you were a close friend of the boys and an ex-employee of JYPE who now worked with another company.

"Thank you for the ride, you sure you don't want to come in? I'm sure Changbin is asleep by now," Changbin's heart shattered as he heard the comment from you. Were you cheating while he was under the same roof as you? How many times had this happened? The rational side of Changbin had been pushed down deep inside of him and replaced with the Changbin who was convinced you were cheating on him and sleeping with his best friend. His hands clutched onto his phone as he stared down at the images of the two of you together. Laughing, your head was thrown back with your hand on Seungmin's shoulder a slight blush appeared on Seungmin's cheeks as he looked down at you with a smile spread on his face. To anyone else, it would just look like two friends who were having fun together but to Changbin it fueled his deluded belief that you were together in secrecy. 

That all of the dating rumours he'd heard about you both were true and he couldn't seem to shake them out of his mind. There were countless articles claiming that they had seen the two of you kissing or that you'd held hands on the beach together.

"No, I should go. I'm up early tomorrow, but can we do this again on Friday?" Seungmin seemed so happy that it killed Changbin inside, how could the two of you do this to him? 

"Sure, but it has to be a secret. No one can know...Okay? It'll kill him if he found out." You whispered, hugging Seungmin goodbye for a final time before shutting and locking the door, sighing happily to yourself as you kicked off your shoes. Turning around and letting out a high pitch squeal when you came face to face with your boyfriend.

"Jesus, fuck, you scared the life out of me." You whined out holding your hand over your chest as you tried to calm the way your heart was racing. It was almost 10 at night and you'd half expected him to be in bed like he had been for the last two weeks.

"Thought I was asleep, did you? Tried to invite your other man into the house?" You stared at Changbin a little confused and shook your head at him, letting out a nervous laugh since you couldn't decide if he was joking around or not.

"You're usually asleep, I was just going to let him stay over in the guest room to save him driving all the way to the dorms." You explained, staring into your boyfriend's eyes as you slowly took off your jacket and waited for him to say something and when he didn't you turned around to hook your jacket up.

"I know you're sleeping with him." The jacket fell to the ground and you snapped your head around to stare at Changbin completely taken aback by his comment.

"Sleeping with Seungmin?" You questioned, wanting to make sure you were assuming what he said was correct. How could you even think about sleeping with him? He was your puppy best friend, someone you would tease a lot and pretend to bully one another with. There was nothing there but years of friendship and someone you saw as a brother to you, the mere idea of ever kissing Seungmin made you want to clean your lips with bleach. Sure, he was attractive but again he was nothing but the brother type to you.

"You're always sneaking around together, hanging out until late. And what was that about? "it'll kill him if he found out", hmm?" Hearing him repeat the words with his assumption that you were cheating on him hurt. You'd never in a million years hurt Changbin.

"First, we're not sneaking around. You know I'm hanging out with Seungmin and that's it. Just hanging out, friends." You stated, reminding Changbin that it had been his idea for you to become close with the guys in the first place. You were friends with each of them, why wasn't he just accusing you of being with them all?

"We started "hanging out" and look where we are now," You blinked at Changbin. You didn't know if this was some sleep-deprived and overworked side of him but you didn't like that he was accusing you of something you hadn't and would never have done.  

"Changbin, seriously. Why would you ever think I would hurt you like this?" You reached out to touch his arm but he flinched away from you, shaking his head and laughing dryly at you to show he didn't believe you.

"I don't know but it's obvious. All of the articles that are coming out. The secret meetings on Friday, the not coming home until late? What else am I supposed to think?" Changbin was red in the face by now, his eyes tearing up as he stared down at you.

"You're supposed to trust me." You stated calmly. The last thing you wanted to do was cause some kind of big argument over nothing. You didn't blame Changbin for putting two and two together and coming up with five, there had been times when you'd seen articles of him and another idol together and thought the worst. You knew when you were in the wrong mindset it was hard to see through the fog and think rationally about things that were happening around you.

"How can I when you're sneaking around? Going to Busan together when there are plenty of cafes in Seoul the two of you can go to." He rambled out as you rubbed the bridge of your nose waiting for him to at least calm down a little so you could explain everything to him. You walked further into the living room and took notice of the laptop that was open, one article was opening debating how long you and Seungmin had been together. 

For a long time, there had been rumours of Changbin and you but they'd been gone for a while now and suddenly replaced with Seungmin. It seemed as if no one believed guys and girls could be friends with each other, even in the idol industry and you hated that. Even when you were a stylist you'd heard people gossiping about their idols being together even if it wasn't true. 

"You can't trust anything that they say, you know that babe." You called out, glancing at the images that were being used. Sure if they're taken out of context they could mean something but all of it was bogus. Seungmin was like a brother to you, the two of you playfully bullied one another far too much to ever be able to date.

"Do I? Because it all looks pretty damn real to me," You ran your hands over your face, you were too exhausted to deal with this and all you really wanted was to crawl into bed and get some shut-eye.

"Changbin..." You trailed off, yawning a little as you turned to look at him and shook your head. It was too late for either of you to be getting into a fight and you knew he needed to be up early for his day of shooting some more scenes.

"You know what, no. I don't want to hear you come up with some dumb excuse. Or to tell me it's not true when clearly it is." He grabbed his coat and next his car keys, 

"You're just going to walk away without letting me explain it?" You questioned, your hand falling onto your hip as you stared over at him. 

"There's nothing to explain. You're fucking my best friend behind my back, so if you want each other. So be it," Your heart just shattered into a billion pieces right in front of him.

"What's that supposed to mean exactly?" Your voice was shakey as you got the words out, waiting for him to tell you that this was all some mistake. That he didn't mean what he was accusing you of and that he was deeply sorry for what he'd said.

"I'm done. I need space, I can't deal with it." He mumbled, wiping his eyes on his sleeve as he reached for the door again, only stopping when he heard you sniffling a little.

"I've stuck by you through every rumour you had while we were together but you're just going to give up when I get one?" It was true, through your time together there had been plenty of times when this could have had the roles reversed when you could have been the one accusing him but you knew Changbin would never hurt you.

"Because you KNEW I wasn't doing it." He cried out and that was it, you'd reached the point where you could no longer stay calm with him.

"And you should know I'm not either!" You yelled at him, you'd reached your breaking point. How was it okay for him to have his rumours but the second you got one he was calling it quits?

"Seo Changbin!" You yelled as he reached for the front door handle, his body tensing when he heard you call him by his full name.

"If you walk out of that door...that means you don't trust me," Your voice cracked, a few tears rolling down your cheeks as you watched him. Praying that he would see the truth in all of this and turn around and apologise for ever believing it but he didn't The door opened and slammed shut behind him.

Your knees buckled as you fell onto the rug and began to sob, pulling your knees into your chest as the love of your life walked away from you like you meant nothing. As if the last three years you'd spent together were no indication of trust between the two of you. 

Changbin hadn't know where he was going but he was just gone and out of the house, hearing you and Seungmin talking about meeting in secret was the part that drilled it home that you were cheating. There were almost 16 missed calls from Seungmin, along with some voicemails that Changbin was exclusively ignoring because he didn't want to hear you both lie to him.

It was Friday, four days since he'd spoken to either of you and his final day of shooting on set. Chan and Jisung hadn't mentioned you or Seungmin since the first time he'd come to work after the fight. They knew better than to do so if they wanted a productive day with Changbin, it seemed if anyone mentioned you by the name he'd shut down and refuse to talk unless it was for the cameras.

"We're going to have all three of you stand right in the centre and then we're going to have you announce the winners." The director stated as all three of the boys stood where they were supposed to, Chan clutching a golden envelope. They'd been hosting a small competition to help bring in a few new producers for JYPE and they'd been there to host as well as help aid people who needed it.

"The time has finally come," Changbin called out with a huge smile on his face as he stared into the camera,

"It's time to announce which four lucky people have won the chance at becoming producers," Jisung said as he smiled, winking at the camera before Chan read out all four names. Music blasted through the speakers as each of them came out to thank the judges, giving small speeches to the camera. Once the cameras cut, the contestants began to speak with the guys there was a sudden burst of music once again and confetti began to rain down on them all. The rest of the Stray Kids members came out from backstage and smirked at the surprised-looking 3racha members.

"What's going on?"Chan laughed looking at them as all of the members screamed happily and congratulated the guys on completing the show,

"It's a wrap-up party," Jeongin explained, blowing a sound maker into the leader's face and smirking as loads of people began to flood the stage. Almost everyone who had been working on set as well as the contestants were here, having a good time and shaking everyone's hand.

"Yn and Seungmin had been planning it," Felix said to Chan, loud enough so that Changbin could hear him. The only member that wasn't here with them all was Seungmin and Changbin knew where he would have been.

"Probably to hide the fact that they'd been sleeping together," Changbin grumbled, folding his arms over his chest. As much as he wanted to celebrate the last day of shooting, it was hard to do that when the thought of you played on his mind.

After a few days of being away from you and having time to think about things he knew it wasn't true, he'd known from the start that none of it was true but he'd still let his thoughts get the better of him.

"You know neither of them would do that," Felix told him, wrapping his arm around his shoulder. Changbin had refused to talk to them about what was going on but you'd told Seungmin who told the rest of them. Each of them had previously attempted to make Changbin see sense in it all but he flat-out refused, too stubborn to think about anything else.

"You're forgetting me and Jeongin were there for most of it too. They'd barely make it five minutes without bullying each other, I  know they'd never do that to you hyung." CHangbin stared at Felix before shrugging his arms off him and making his way to the exit, ignoring the pleas of the others to stay and party with them all.

The door to your place unlocked and you looked up from the sofa where you were laid to see Changbin staring over at you, you said nothing as you turned back to look at the TV. 

"Where's Seungmin?" He called out, noticing the state of the living room as soon as he walked in. It looked like you'd barely moved for the last few days and it hurt him to know you were in so much pain.

"On a date." You mumbled, cuddling into the pillows and sniffling a little. Ever since he'd walked out on you, you'd refused to move from the sofa and wallowed in your pitty, taking his hoodie and wearing it while you cuddled into the sheets you'd bought down from upstairs.

"A date?" Changbin walked further into the room, there were empty glasses of water all over the place, and a few bottles of soju spotted about. It was obvious you weren't taking very good care of yourself right now and it wasn't like he blamed you for it, he blamed himself since he'd been the one to cause you so much upset.

"Yes, that thing couples do when they want to go out together," You hissed, Changbin knew you had every right to be angry with him and he bit down on his lip. Seeing you like this killed him inside and to know he had been the one to cause this? it practically ripped him in two.

"Yn-" He tried to say but you cut him off before he even had the chance.

"If you're here to get your stuff, can you just not talk to me? I'd rather not be accused of something I didn't do again," You choked out, turning your head into the pillow and beginning to cry heavily into it. Changbin dropped his keys and rushed to your side, bringing you to rest your head against his chest as he ran his hands down your back in a soothing motion.

"I hate you," You mumbled even though it wasn't true, your fist curled up as you weakly hit his chest whimpering as you shook your head at him.

"You walked out on me, on us like we meant nothing." You hissed at him as you weakly hit his chest again, Changbin let you as he held your crying body.

"I'm so sorry," He repeated every time you told him you hated him, whimpering and crying heavily against him as he continued to soothe you.

"After I trusted you with yours, you didn't even t-try to extend the same courtesy to me." You sniffled, pulling away from him and shaking your head. The two of you stared at one another, you could see the tears forming in his eyes as he stared back at you and shook his head.

"I'm so fucking sorry, I know I should have listened I just couldn't see past the photos," He whispered as you stared back at him, scoffing a little.

"There has never and never will be anything between me and Seungmin. Ever. If you'd listened to me you would have known that," You grumbled, folding your arms across your chest as you watched him looking down at the floor.

"Nothing will make things right but I will spend every day apologising and trying to earn your forgiveness," He spoke clearly, turning his head to look at you again as you bit down on your lip.

"You accused me of cheating on you," You reminded him, looking up at the ceiling so the tears wouldn't fall down your cheeks.

"In all of the times, you had rumours I never once-" You took in a deep breath so you didn't start to cry again.

"I never once accused you of it. We talked about it, that's what we're supposed to do Changbin," You sniffled, wiping your eyes on the sleeves of your hoodie and shaking your head at him.

"We're supposed to talk things through, you're not just supposed to walk away as soon as things get hard," You finally broke down again and instantly you were wrapped up inside his arms and held against his chest. Both of you sobbed into one another as he continued to hold you, refusing to let you go even for a second.

"I should have stayed. I should have calmed down and listened to everything you had to say that night," He whispered as you nodded your head, cuddling into him. As badly as you wanted to hate him, you still loved him and adored being back in his arms again. it finally felt as though you could be at peace.

You'd sat there together, cuddled in one another's arms as you broke down every now and again. Talking everything through about your time with Seungmin even though Changbin had told you that you didn't need to. That he trusted you despite acting as though he didn't.

"So, you've been going all the way to Busan because he has a crush on the waitress in one internet cafe?" Changbin chuckled as you laughed weakly, looking down into the mug of hot chocolate and nodding. Once you'd calmed down a little, Changbin cleaned up around the living room and made you both a warm drink so that you could talk things over. Nothing would make up for what he'd done right away but he was going to do what he could.

"Yeah. He finally asked her out the night we got into our fight. That's why he wasn't- Oh my god, the party!" You cried out remembering that you and Seungmin had planned a surprise party for the boys.

"Went off without a hitch, Felix took charge," Changbin explained, drawing small circles on your shoulder as you let out a painful groan. 

"I forgot. After the fight, I just shut everything out." You mumbled, looking at Changbin who was smiling weakly at you and leaning down to kiss the top of your head and pulled you closer to him.

"It's fine, we're making up and that's what's important," He whispered to you, kissing your cheek as he kept himself pressed against you.

"True." You glanced at him and smiled a little, he was blushing a little as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Am I banished to sleeping on the sofa for a few days?" He chuckled but you shook your head, you'd spent too long being apart it was time the two of you fell asleep holding each other for a while.

"You're banished from leaving the house for a while until I've had too many cuddles." The two of you nodded and began to make your way up to bed. While things were going to need to be worked on with trust, you just needed to be held by one another for now and let time do the rest of the work.

Tagline: @chiisaiblog​ @hanasonmi​ @sw33tnight​ @taestannie​ @illicee​ @army24--7​ @acciocriativity​ @scarletemeterio​ @halesandy​ @aerastus​ @lost-leopard-beanie​ @laylasbunbunny​ @critssq​ @pearlygraysky​ @lenfilms​ @btsiguess-kpop​ @meowmeowisdaname​ @imafivestarkpopstan​

[shamera]

March-April manhwa reccs

In the vein of my last few reccs, here is the latest instalment in Shams-reads-too-much (I know it's only mid-April). This time, I'm back to the top 3 format but with a list of Honorable Mentions because oh boy, the readin' don't stop!

3. The Guild Member Next Door [30 chapters so far]

How is no one talking about this one? The first BL series to make it on my top lists, this is an online gamer meet-ugly cafe story that had me cackling through every chapter. It will brighten your day (threat). The story of an office worker slash secret gamer who starts playing the MMO Illusion and tries to join Poseidon guild only to immediately get PK'ed and accused of being a stalker's alt account, and in his revenge he befriends the entire guild as an FU to his attacker, only for his attacker to in-game propose to him to troll him in return. An adorable and hilarious story following the two as they purposefully step on each other's toes all the way until they're friends in-game, never realizing that they actually know each other IRL!

2. Martial God Regressed to Level 2 [one season]

Let's just say in chapter 1 all of humanity dies, so we already know how this story's going to go. Another OP protagonist whom I really enjoy, starting from scratch in hopes of saving the world. It's Seong Jihan's relationship with his family that makes this series hit different, as he not only uses his knowledge to try and prevent humanity's tragedies, but also does his best this time around to save his niece from her downward mental spiral and become a good role model for her after her father walks away. With little to lose now that he knows what's to come, the MC is more than willing to make enemies out of everyone to ensure they step up their game before the real fight for humanity begins.

1. SSS-Class Suicide Hunter [3 seasons]

This was already on Honorable Mentions back in December, and I know my recc list is meant for new reads, but I had to slap this down again after the PHENOMENAL season 3 ending. We've already seen Kim Gongja's crazy fights to ascend the tower, but the sheer hope. The belief in a better world that these characters have, and their determination to make it so, brought me to tears at the end of season 3. The story of a hunter with negative survival instincts, and a power that allows him to regress to a day before he dies every time he dies... it's not the type of story that I expected to see such delicate beauty within suffering, but here we are, with an MC ready to delve into storybooks to empathize with and relieve the suffering of the characters within, no matter what it takes. I'm so excited for season 4 and the next storybook, I am vibrating.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Raising a Sacrifice

This series is impossible to describe and impossible to put down for long. This is the ultimate fantasy time-loop transmigration system apocalypse god-maker BL I have ever read? It's what happens when the apocalypse keeps resetting and you can never escape that last year no matter how many times you die, and the toll on one's mental state when you start trying-- everything. Murder. Genocide. Madness. And falling in love, again and again and again. And being alone again, after every reset. Thousands and millions of times until you lose all hope, until one day... the MC wakes up with memories of being murdered by his faithful knight, and now there's finally two people with memories beyond one timeline.

Medical Return [complete!!]

The story of a surgeon who led a pitiful life, only to return to his childhood once more by the grace of the gods-- and this time he's determined to not lead the same life again! Now if only the world got that hint, as he seems to be continuously steered back onto his original path, while trying to dodge the tragedies in his life and save just one more person others gave up for dead. This time around, he has a little outside help to finally uncover just why his life went so wrong at every turn the first time and help him retain that inherent goodness without being taken advantage of once more. With an MC with a deposition truly befitting a good doctor, this is for all fans of hospital dramas, and is complete!!

Kill the Villainess [complete!!]

The only way to return home is to play the role of the villainess, Eris, who is condemned to death after attempting to kill the heroine. There is no way to escape that fate, as Eris can't even succeed at taking her own life before she completes her part in the plot. The story of a villainess trying to die to change the story, yet unable to as she continues to uncover backstory beyond the original novel to find the reason why her soul was stuck in this world and unable to leave, while attempting to bypass paths that would trap her in the novel forever. At what point will her actions make her a true villain, and just what is she willing to do in order to return home to the real world?

Little Mushroom

...my cheat this month, with me using the novel cover and everything. (Please read the books, there are only 2 novels and the prose is breathtaking.) The manhua is absolutely gorgeous beyond compare, and the story covers a sentient mushroom post-apocalypse who is journeying into a dangerous human settlement trying to find the spore that was taken from him. In a world where threats to humans loom at every corner and shadow, drastic measures are taken to protect those who survive, employing "Judges" with absolute power to kill if they suspect a being of not being human. It's the story of a non-human and a Judge finding themselves and each other by navigating the active end of the world.

My Darling Signed In [complete!!]

Cute?? Adorable???? Another online gamer couple who meet in real life, this BL story is genuinely all fluff as the MC is found to play a beautiful female elf online, yet their beau falls in love either way as it was the same charisma and personality that drew them in. A green flag couple with turns that surprised me every time with how wholesome things are. It's 2 seasons and complete, featuring them from collage to work space through their ups and downs, navigating their relationship and growing as people all the while continuing their game. Do you need a cute read with a guaranteed happy ending? Here it is!!

Zero Day Attack [1 season done]

Another BL on the list?? This month is full of surprises, as this time it's about a hacker who had to go into hiding after being exposed and is now a barista by day while working to find the man who betrayed him by night, all the while running away from both the organizations he hacked and his old colleagues who are looking for him. Things get complicated when a man who shows up at the cafe he works at won't leave him alone, and blurs the line between his search for revenge and the fake life he's currently living. This one eked its way above Netkama Punch for the mystery and intrigue (as well as having a main couple who is obsessed with each other without wanting to bring harm to the other).

I Will Change the Genre

A transmigrater meets a regressor, and suddenly the novel plot is going very, very awry! In the novel, Judith Maybaum is the hateful aunt of the main character who betrays her nephew and dies for it, yet "Judith Maybaum" isn't actually the same character now, and her nephew is also acting very odd when the story starts rolling. She's determined that her nephew will not go through his lonely and sorrowful life this time around, even if it means giving his custody to the Duke Winterwald, yet for some reason the protagonist clings to her and calls her 'mother' when the Duke comes to take him away! A touching and funny story with, once again, a green flag couple as well as an adorable aunt and nephew pair, both with foreknowledge of the future in different ways as they mess things up and unravel a story that neither of them knew.

GOOD ENOUGH I READ EVERYTHING: -Netkama Punch -The Bromance Book Club [complete] -The Live [complete] -I'll Be the Matriarch in this Life -Reincarnator -Dark Mage Returns to Enlistment -The Main Characters that Only I Know -My Lucky Encounter from the Game Turned Reality -The Archmage's Restaurant -I Tamed a Tyrant and Ran Away -I Created an Urban Legend -The Regressed Demon Lord is Kind

[hrodvitnon]

Additional Novel Stuff! (that the other submitter missed)

Post from Mystical got my attention and so I hunted down the info on Reddit, found the guy who claims to have made the notes originally and he offered more info in a Twitter thread. I would like to urge to take both the notes from earlier and everything I’m about to say here with a grain of salt as the novel isn’t released till the end of April, and to consider this post supplementary to the one made earlier as Mystical seemed to miss the Twitter info. 

The prologue actually opens with Serizawa, Vivienne, Andrews, and Emma meeting in Greenland to discuss some strange properties about some of Earth’s ice. They sample stuff from glaciers, Ghidorah’s prison, and the ice caps, and realize that when the ice was first frozen- the freezing was instant, described like a ‘reverse bomb’. This is also where we get that 3 million number for Shimo’s age as that’s when the earliest instance of this special ice was dated. Shimo is then dubbed as Monster H, standing for Hypothetical, as the only evidence they had of her existence was the weird ice patterns. 

This is actually Andrews’ motivation for joining Monarch, to uncover this weird anomaly. 

When Kong first meets Shimo, he can sense her violent rage towards Skar, but also sees how the crystal controls her. 

There’s additional info during the mural scene where all the history is discussed- including the info that Shimo froze Ghidorah (god it feels so good have this confirmed) and an additional mural of Shimo fighting Godzilla in which Godzilla seemed 'worried’ about something. What he was worried about they don’t say, but I like to think Godzilla could additionally sense that she was being tortured by Skar and that he wanted to help her but didn’t know how- and had to revert to fighting her. Additionally, a note from the Reddit post states that Godzilla was additionally apprehensive about fighting Skar/Shimo. Could be interpreted that he thought he might lose or that he didn’t want to battle Shimo again because of her state. Either way, the characters confirm that the two have some sort of history.

Shimo is not the first Titan. The characters say the mural could be translated to say 'The First, The Foundational, The Ultimate, and/or The Quintessential’. However, I still believe that it is not the case that she is the first because right after this they actually that very same Iwi word to describe Mothra of all Titans. I have no idea what to make of this, crazy interesting that they elevate her to be on Shimo’s level of ancientness or importance. 

Shimo is incredibly strong. Near the end of the book they describe her power as 'world-killing’, and actually describes Evolved-Zilla as being on the backfoot whenever fighting her. 

However, they do confirm she started the Ice Age to balance the Earth’s ecosystem and not out of destructive behavior. 

The bit about the governments of the world plotting to invade Hollow Earth actually revolves around a desire to control Shimo like Skar did, seeing as it was revealed in Rio she can be controlled. (sidenote: this is like, the perfect sequel hook. Operation: Destroy all Monsters, anyone?) This is what that 'end of the world’ note was talking about, a future in which humanity finds a way to control Shimo.

Apparently it’s made clear that Shimo and Godzilla were allies back when Ghidorah was around messing shit up. 

Finally, there’s actually an extension of the post-battle scene where Shimo’s visibly distressed after being freed and Kong comforts her by petting her for a while in the Hollow Earth.

Small tidbit about Scylla not in the thread but mentioned in another tweet: She’s described as loving destruction and that she was actually beginning to warm the planet instead of cooling it, like her job was- so Goji was absolutely justified in dealing that death.

The thread was all about Shimo and has great info- but I honestly can’t wait to see the context surrounding the other notes especially the one about Godzilla and Mothra being family. (Ikik everyone wants this to be a Mothzilla confirmation, but I will be equally interested (maybe even more interested…) to see if they classify them as something else; say found-siblings. I also wanna know if there’s an implication that they grew up together- which would further creates a mountain of questions…). April 23rd is when this thing releases and this info is either confirmed or not.

---

*Serizawa and Vivienne mention* BRB PRE-ORDERING THE NOVELIZATION

Whether any of this delightful information turns out to be true once the book comes out, we Shimo fans are going to be happy with the abundance of lore. Also, YES KONG GIVE HER ALL THE PETS SHE NEEDS IT!

[anonymous-dentist]

I'm really waiting for some releavtion to tie the current events since purgatory together and make it less rushed/half-hearted

Like yeah I'd be so much less critical if anything was like. Cohesive???

Earlier plotlines, while still mostly as secretive as these current ones are, at least kinda went together. Felps' kidnapping led to Cellbit's kidnapping which led to Cellbit becoming a Federation employee which led to him discovering secrets about the island's past which tied in with Bagi learning about her past which ties in with Fit and Etoiles and Pac's lores with the Resistance which goes all the way back to April/May when SOFIA was first constructed. The elections came out of nowhere, but its effects are still being felt by characters to this day between the happy pills and the eggs disappearing and the furniture stealing and the stuff with Forever disappearing into the Nether for a month.

Now? Sure, it hasn't been super long since Purgatory started and ended and these new events started, but none of them mesh together into anything remotely approaching a cohesive story. There's running a huge secret plot behind the scenes, and there's running a bad story while trying to make everybody happy, and that's what I think is kinda going on now.

I'm pretty sure that Cucurucho was always meant to get to Purgatory after it ended, but I'm almost certain that he wouldn't have found the older eggs. It would've found the three new ones and they would've been brought back, Cucurucho's investigation interrupted by ElQuackity and the Eye Worker before Cucurucho and the other Federation Agents could've found the other eggs. The three eggs would've been brought back to Quesadilla Island, and the other eggs' admins could've continued focusing on resting up and/or working on the Purgatory server to get it ready for the tournament. The rest of the eggs would've come back with whoever stayed behind- because there's literally no way the writers wouldn't have expected people to stay behind for their children, not with these characters- through a rescue mission or a Whatever once the tournament was done being worked on, aka when the players and the admins would've been free.

But I think that the intense fan pushback to Purgatory and its. Lackluster ending kinda made the admins feel like they had to bring the eggs back in some way before anything super bad happened. And now the eggs are back! But they've been in a coma not doing anything for the past week, which lowkey defeats the purpose of them being back. And now they're waking up... after even more fan pushback, because a lot of fans aren't really happy with the way the story is going right now. People would've been happier to wait for the eggs to return in a way that was satisfying and that made sense rather than watch goddamn Cucurucho save the eggs instead of their actual parents.

The writers need to learn to stick with their guns, I think, just like they did when they wouldn't switch teams around at the beginning of Purgatory when everybody decided Red was unbalanced. It worked out then, so why wouldn't it work out now with the eggs staying asleep or staying on the island until it made sense for them to come back? It was heavily implied that there would be more tasks to come to save the eggs- just look at the Eye's final message with the whole "Only I decide when Purgatory ends" thing- but that was kinda just let go when the eggs were, the Eye not even fighting Cucurucho and the workers swooping in and saving the eggs despite the Eye gooping and killing and converting the last worker that snuck onto the island and the eye going out of its way to keep Purgatory isolated. It just doesn't make sense narratively, and I hope the writers figure this stuff out, because they're losing viewers like crazy rn

[suuho]

How has the vocal training been going?? <3

hey!!! initially i wanted to wait with answering this until after my vocal lesson on tuesday but eh, what the hell. i am just gonna... very tentatively say that i am slowly regaining my footing. which, it feels like it happened so quickly i think but the truth is that i have been struggling for well over a year now (in april it will have been a year since i had covid, so that pretty much checks out. that was like the final nail in my coffin, lol), and i probably struggled even longer than that. if i am brutally honest, which. uh. once again, lol. that is why i honestly find it very encouraging when singers i look up to confess that they also struggle and question themselves and their skill; it is normal and human, and it isn't the end of the world either or makes me a terrible singer.

anyways. the thing is, i really truly and well feel like i am fifteen again just with a different skillset. i have started from scratch, mostly. i sing a bunch of the same stuff i sang ten years ago, a lot of rock and pop-punk stuff that taught me how to sing to begin with, like fall out boy and paramore. because those are songs i could already sing, so they are familiar but i have to force myself to sing it properly, stop singing so much from my throat (which i most definitely got rid of before and now i am annoyed that it happens basically unconsciously. it sucks.) i think i need to get an ab workout in again, lmao, because i NEED the support to come easier for me. yoseob, i understand you and your crazy abs wholeheartedly. 😭

my last two vocal lessons went pretty well, though! i am pretty happy with my mix these days, i think i managed to push it a little higher while maintaining the volume, and i am working so hard to not go thin when i sing high anymore, which is another annoying thing that has happened to me after covid. never happened before, now i am like wtf is this???? so i try to consciously adjust that too. the song i picked for my lesson right now is a straight musical theater piece with lots of high belting and it sits right where my voice breaks these days (also smth i worked out before that is now back, lol) and i am not letting up on working through it because i need to figure out how to sing this fucking song properly. technique and all. i need to go through every section and adjust my voice, like i am really treating this like i did when i was fifteen and sang way less challenging songs. so, at least i know i made SOME progress in ten years. lmao.

i sing a lot at work now, so i have gotten rid of most of my anxiety surrounding singing in public. that used to cripple me to death until, like, three years ago or something? i couldn't even sing in front of my teacher, it always fucked me up. but it's nice because now people come up to me and tell me i either have a great voice or they like my music!! lmao.

ok, so!!! uh, i think i am hopefully getting over the hurdle now is what i am saying. and i hope that the progress is not just temporary and that it keeps going like that. i wanna feel comfortable and confident singing again, because i know i can do it. and i know what i am capable of.

yoseob posted videos on his stories of him warming up and singing these past days and that was so encouraging, man. idk. it just made me feel so happy. i admire him so much, i think he is one of the best singers ever and his technique is soooo good. it's so cool how dedicated he is to keep himself in shape, and he also still takes vocal lessons!! he really is such an inspiration to me. i remember when jongdae and jinho would post bits from their vocal warm ups or lessons, that inspires me so much as well. it's just that normal stuff that keeps me going. i guess.

but!!! thank you so much for asking!! this made me so happy. i hope you have a wonderful day!!! 💘💖💓💞💗

[brothalynchhung]

2022 overview

(istg ive been doing this for 10 years frnfiesfjeiss)

Hmmm lets see where did i start 2022

oh yeah tbh this year didnt really “start” for me until like april

because everything before april was just me working at that last stupid ass fintech 

what a waste of time honestly

but i did just get paid for doing nothing LOOOL shout out to my sis?

honestly since the beginning i knew it was just a stepping stone to moving out of to into dxb altho the transition and whatever isint easy and i still dont like living here 

but yeah i think i was playing guitar gyming, going through an ed ( i miss my slightly skinnier body but getting back there i think.. fml) and just idk hating work a lot

like the way i hated that job was insane if my sis wasnt there too i woulda bBEEN fired i did nothing but sit on the sofa there an browse pinterest and apply to other jobs and watch movies aoirNhaguiraehgubna

oh well tbh that whole job itself was a waste 

i applied to a crazy amount of jobs and had mad interviews

then got am lol after months 

shoutout to expo? lOOOL all my calls from them happened there im deaefiwfnjf 

i miss expo LOL that was also a big 2022 thing 

common grounds brr reading brrr

orange hair to blond hair to silver hair to platinum blonde brr to pink rip miss it kinda

my hair fried as shit 

oh yeah i also went to mecca this year brrr 

honestly that was an amazing experience mecca and madina was so beautiful i felt so at peace there

except for fighting the guards there cuz of the covid bullshit .. but whatev fuck em 

holy shit actually this year was a lot

i prayed there cleansed myself etc etc 

then i came back and i got a job at am LOOL

then i went to cali LOOOL

which was a ego death existential crisis of its own 

my whole life i dreamed of cali / LA and then hated it?

but also i realized yeah i really need to drive to survive in america

which kinda made me hate it lol 

venice beach was rlly nice like cali beaches r beautiful 

but like i envisioned it i went there alone and then felt hella unsafe the whole night there 

im sorry but it is not the 80s anymore 😭? lMFAOO OBV mfs were on DRUGS 

smh 

i saw jana there! that was cool also finally went to astro burger and fairfax 

thrifting there was ass

overall LA dissapointed me but i got high and ate good mochi which was cool 

OHH also i went to smokers club fest which was like the best music festival i ever been to

THE WAY I MANIFESTED THAT LMFAOOO I USED MY fintech MONEY TO GO THERE LOOOOOL 

also i guess shoutout to nadim for coming and basically driving me / us there cuz honestly if he didnt idk how the hell i woulda got there / back

but LMFAO BRR SUCCESSFUL TRIP

oh wait i forgot so yeah after my 16 hour flight and hours of walking around dt LA then to venice and walking all of venice someone tried to rob me at like 11 pm on the LA metro nice! nice! i was also high as shit! nice ! nice! lMAOFEFKEROPIGJERIS

good thing im a very good high functioning stoner? also my phone was plugged into my powerbank so my phone just went flying out both our hands and i just picked it up IGOT SO LUCKYY LMGOOOO WITHOUT IT IWOULDA BEEN FUCKEDDD imagine all the pics i woulda lost omfg naiufhrguiherguerh anywho thank god i didnt lose it kgriojgsrigjsr 

i didnt even see the guy at all omg egroghtiughrtjg

anyways after that i finally saw zaina after like 4 years in sf 

i guess sf was cool like it was normal majority of it i was just w zaina then could only go to the city w nada 

i mean honestly travelling and doing things is alone is always kinda like.. whats the point? but i dont think sf or LA are good for solo travel?LOOL 

but i guess that confirms i dont want to live in cali? i liked the nature and ppl there but uhhh idk maybe if i drived? idk fuck us lol 

im just happy i got to go to smokers fest lol

anywho i came back and then moved into my new place in ad and started working at am 

actually technically my first am meeting was in sf at like 4 am and i slept through it lMFAEOFJREIFJ  

but yeah then i started working at am 

i met that dumbass who i worked w for like 6 FUCKING MONTHS dealing w her ass and babysitting her dumb ass

i didnt even kno she would be there but whatever 

i tried to b cool w her but on god ive never met a more stupid human ever 

thank god i have a brain and im cultured and have critical thinking skills like THANK GOD IM ME 

then the whole j shit happened honestly dont want to talk or think about it anymore

tldr is i was mad lonely and its been so long since i talked to a guy that was a dumbass misogynist arab that the second i did i wasl like oooo 

and the fact that ivana also described him didnt help fueled my delusions 

even tho she said it wasnt him i didnt care cuz im a dumbass

then that actual dumbass fueled me more 

but honestly shout out to me telling her about ivana cuz if i didnt she wouldnt have led herself to her downfall which meant i woulda had to keep working w her lMFAOOO she stressed me the hell out on god 

but yeah anyways honestly all that was just bullshit im just sick an tired over the gl shit

unfortunately all that delusion and bs made 2022 a horrible fucking year cuz i was mentally stressed and depressed and having breakdowns left and right

but at the same time made me rlly passionate for work which helped me pass my probation w flying colours

now the mf think we cool when i highkey HATE his ass now 

seriously drained the fuck out me after all that bullshit im like a somber dead zombie now 

never NEVER i deadass 10000000 mean it this time am i ever going crazy over someone ever again

gl better love me and reciprocate or NOTHING im not sacrificing myself ever again FUCK no 

also worst bday of my life seriously unless i DIE theres no way my future bdays can be as bad as i spent the one this year 

it literally makes my blood boil because i did not deserve that 

basically after may my whole life became work and it was horrible i had ppl messaging me and irl asking me if i was okay like it was a complete 180 from yp i did nothing in that job to fucking EVERYTHING LIFE CONSUMING BULLSHIT in this one

hence why im now over all this bs and over working and over extending myself for this job , once 5 pm hits BYE also not working extra or more than i have to fuck yall this is just one job im still young i got my whole future ahead of me

work smarter not harder is my moto end of the day i get my money i get my exp and we go up this isint my end all and i can ALWAYS do better

not saying im not grateful for this job i rlly am but the way i approach it now is gunna be mad different in 2023 cuz i cant do that shit to myself again

but since im 10000000% over that bitch it should be easier

now my focus is just to do the shit i need to do work on mysself and personal goals, manage the mf i need to manage and travel 

which is another thing shout out to them for all the travel i did this year lMFAOO

like yeah my bday sucked ass but right after i got sent to helsinki which i loved moomin world brrr

then i went to copenhagen to see amin e and i love denmark too

except for throwing up before my flight to london hmmm

also ididnt know they smoked there that might be my future city fr LMAO 

then i went to london which was fire i missed that city its like a european ? british ? toronto LMFAO but cooler imo less shittier weather

chilled w p and k 

got high 2 brr 

european loud is weird lol 

i saw j there and  was ocnfused as to why i felt nothing yeah no SHIT bitch the mf ugly and boring as hell 

really need to constantly remind myself who the FUCK i am and what im capable of omfg 

the way my confidence and self-esteemed dropped this year

now i have no energy for none of that i just dont give a fuck about nothing anymore 

being in london was coo w money tho ugh shout out to having funds

also i got a ps5 this year best purchase ever

i think at this point i just wanna save now like meh i guess there is things i want but idk 

i dontt knowwww

after london was more bs ass work

went to seattle which i actually liked lol more than cali 

i was just happy to exp fall weather 

RECORD SHOPPING SEATTLE WAS INSANE

oh i ddidnt rlly mention how much records i bought this year LFMSIOERGJEFE 

london and copenhagen thrifting was IT and so was record shopping

but seattle was x10 better jfc 

i think i have almost all records i want? except for a few but ill get the rest this year i guess 

after seattle or i guess during idk that dumbass got fired brr karma 

went rogue on events still sends me 😭😭😭😭 mf if only u KNEW 

i think at that point i was just exhausted like from travel and what not i just wanted to stay at home and gym

too much travel = i was eating weird and not gyming so idk 

im getting back on track now but smh

 i read a lot this year which was good

movies was okay 

finished the most paintings this year

got into oil pastels and 3d sculpting 

my gym is fuckkk amazing except i miss my old pilates teacher and boxing teacher fml 

consume by chase atlantic took over this year for me LMFAOO smfh 

went to SA again hated it annoying 

yeah by december i was drained as hell from work like i still am 

shout out to sam still for being my only friend this year STYLL 

oh yeah nadine came love her 

z came too but honestly meh .. lol ? the d apple picking thing cheeses me out but whatever 

like how u actively friends w someone who shits on me and then go on smthing that was our thing w them?

so done w bum ass canada honestly no intention of going back there at all

another thing to like im kinda over all my canada friends like yeah yall are still my friends but i dont care anymore im not letting the past drag me back 

im just not allowing myself to suffer anymore 

hmm wat. else

yeah idk this year was just swallowed by work

sole was ass met amine felt ass about it 

 i need to do something w myself that i genuinely gaf i need to put myself out there more

i need saturn to move the FUCK out of aquarius that what the fuck ineed

now that that bitch is starting to move im already starting to feel better

but now i gotta wait styll until fucking march for that sooo 

overall like hard ass year high high and low lows 

im still grateful for myself + life and happy i get to save money and make money and gain experience and travel 

im just hoping next year i can do a good job at work normally and be happier / more balanced and make stuff that i genuinely like 

i just want to be happier this year

also i bought tickets to japan SO IGEIRUGHESRUGYBHESUYRN LMFAOOOO YEAH A BITCH GON BE HAPPY SHE BETTER FUCKNG BE HAPPY 

2023 will be better 

[badassdaddy]

Let's rant out Story 1

The biggest Regret of my life, may be of my life time... It was April 2022, she told me either leave me or be with me, this was not for the time, she said the same thing in past in July 2016 for my friend (let's call her N)

Let's start from the beginning

It was April 2015, new academic session for my 9th section was begun, one new admission was there( let's call her SM). I was very introvert person so I don't prefer to initiate the talks... One fine morning we had a mid term exams, and fortunately or unfortunately her roll no. Was just before me, I still curse that day, that why did I helped her during my exams? Why

Everything was going very smoothly, I had never intended to talk to her anytime besides exams. But on the last day of paper she just asked me to go somewhere out with her like for cafe. This was the first time so I asked WHY? Why should I go with you? She said because you helped me during the exams.. I mean seriously? I'm doing that since my 6th standard and no-one ever was so informal to asked me for the cafe... That was very quick so that time I said "YES" but next week.. next week because I need time to rethink that should I go with her or NOT? And finally after consulting with my best friend at that time I decided to go with her...

It was 8th July 2015,( don't mind I am genius in remembering dates), we went to McDonald's (LOL). There we had a very soft talk like regarding family ,past and all. She said her father passes away 2 years back. It was not very shocking for me , because same happened with my mother 3 years back. Anyhow I thought she would understand my pain and vice versa.

Coming fast forward to xx date, 2015 it was my birthday... She had a plan for me. I told her that every year I go to a restaurant alone. She said that she also wants to join me this time.. I had no problem untill or unless she is not interfering in my privacy... But that day was more than just a birthday... I belive Many things are still not be told, let's that secret remain between me and her...

So yes.. let's get back to SM , after my birth day, next we went to WTP on her birthday that is on 21st December 2015... This time it was my turn to plan a surprise for her for her birthday, that day whatever happened, I never wanted that to happen. She not proposed me but something similar to that, she said that "Mein tumhe like karne lagi hu and I see my future with you", these were her exact words... I never want this to happen, but jo hona tha woh hogya, I just hushed... What else can I do at that time

Fast forward, to 2016 June-July, few days later I told her "see mein koi fake promises nhi karunga, mein kal ka toh chhooro mein yeh bhi nhi jaanta agle pal kya ho jaaye, so how can I give commitment for next 5-6 years? Mein tumhe Aaj haa boldu phir kal khuch ho jaaye then you'll raise finger on me ki mein palat gya" this way I simply rejected her proposal. And it was mutually decided in 2016 July that we will be just friend on a condition she put that I'll never get close to N(my good female friend at that time) and from my side it was unconditional on her...

From August 2016- January 2017, I mean we had tour whole jaipur, I don't think any place was left , eventually the bond become stronger and stronger but on a emotional note from my side.. days passed by, and after my 10th was completed from that same school I decided to opt for another school... She pleaded a lot to me to be with her in the same school, it was not easy for even me too, anyhow everyone had there personal reasons, I too had and I left the school...

But may be this was not the end, some more years, some more fun, some more craziness and some more time for friendship was still left... Take it as that even when I left the school, we both went to the coaching in 11th which were just a building apart from each other.. so my everyday evening tea was with her only... Not only this after coaching gets over, we had a very nice time in a cafez eating momos and all... My eyes still gets filled with tears when I remember those times...

Now this was the time when we got both addicted to each other, and just few days before 12th boards exam she said that she can't focus on her studies and keep thinking about me all the day.. this was something very unusual to me, someone said this for the first time to me that she thinks of me.. LOL

On a lighter note I suggested that you can study while doing VC with me... I never thought that she will take it seriously.. okay but, I did had no problem because the purpose was just to study, beneficial for me too...

And this way the phase 1 of our chapter comes to an end

After the JOSAA counselling she went to another college, and I went to another but in the same city... She gets busy with her own work and I got busy in mine... We usually meet atleast twice to thrice in a month, bond started faded away, this is what I wanted since long but could not gathered the courage to say... anyhow everything was going till March 2020, then NATIONWIDE Lockdown was declared... She went back to her hometown, *now I realised how much important she was for my mental health and stability*, many things have changed since 2015 but she was my constant...

One day in December 2020, she told me that she got a BF, whom I know but never met. Okay , I still don't have any problem... She is happy, what else I want...

Now by the October - November 2021 when everything comes to the track , the Lockdown was completely revoked and she came back here again, she asked me to be in serious relationship with her... I kept denying and denying for 3 months but then finally one day of April 2022, when my life was going very smooth, she said either be with me or leave me... I was not left with any other option... I cannot afford to lose her at any cost , because I've seen my mental health when she was not there. So we got in a relationship and just after 20 days, on 25th April she demands to get in physical relationship with me... On a lighter note in teen age everyone wants all this shit so I accepted her this offer, we went to a hotel, in a room... But idk what happened atm, out of intuition I felt like what next, if she leaves me, or if she files a police complaint, and bla bla bla... so I turned down at that moment.. so yes we went to hotel but we didn't had anything else except just aten the pizza and burger 🥲🥲. I thought if any girl wants to get physical then offcourse she sees her future with me, but no, I was wrong...

Now just after 10 days of this incident a msg popped up on my phone from her side, and she claimed that her ex BF is back , after his studies and they both are now in relationship. I told her you have to choose between both of us.. because it was not me who initiated to be in relationship, it was you, now it's up to you.. in very bold letters I've texted her "AGAR TUM MERE SAATH RELATIONSHIP TODTI HO TOH BHI MUJHE KOI DIKKAT NHI HOGI", my hands were shivering while writing this... Everything is not possible on chats and text msg so we decided to meet once and sort out the way to future, whatever possible...

On 5th May 2023, we met, she asked me "TUM MUJHE CHHORNE KI SOCH BHI KAISE SAKTE HO, WE HAD A GREAT TIME OF 8 YEARS TOGETHER", on when I told her that I'll have no problem if she leaves me...I said when 8 years ago, when we met I had seen you as a friend, usse zyada khuch nhi, but now it's getting more than that, and I reiterated the same thing which I told her few years back ki I don't know what happens next, I had never thought that we'll be together for these 8 years.. I'm very thankful to God that I got you in my life. The conclusion of that meet was that I did had no problem, if she gets in relationship with her ex BFF again, but we'll Always remain friends, and out of that reason I advised her to rethink on her EX, because when ex or past person comes again in life, it for sure any reason...

In the month of June, just because of curiosity I checked her Instagram by using her I'd and password ( don't give excuses that's it the issue of privacy, I know, but I've my own reasons). The chats which I've read there with her ex, was stick in my throat. And the bitching they both have done about me was unbelievable. I was completely broken, when I came to know that with whom I'm with since last 8 years thinks about me like this... Just for instance let's take an example:- Most of the time whenever we used to go out, it was me who pays the bill, with my own willingness,(I've no problem in this at all) and on Chat with her ex she told him that "mast chutiya kaata hai iska Aaj" referring to me... This is least what I can tell, but There were 100 more similar examples flashing infront of my eyes...

It was not easy for me to digest all these facts.. agar kisi aur nein mujhe yeh baat btayi hoti toh I would have not believed it, lekin I've seen all these msg by my own... I thought that I should meet her and ask about this. But she came to know that I used her ig and read her msgs, so she was delaying the meet day by day... So I thought everything is in front of me, why should I make her embarrass by asking anything, and even she had an answer that will be considered as excuse... From that day till today I still want to know the reason why she had done all this with me.. isn't it like I haven't met her after that , I met her many times but never ever asked her about all this shit... Still whenever she talks to me I'm always there to support her but, what about me? I don't think I deserves this treatment at all.

In March 2023, After completing her graduation she moved to another city, on her last day here she asked me to come and meet her for the last time, I thought I should go, but my life is not so one sided, or one way, who knows maybe fate will be something else?? I couldn't go to meet her with reason is an irony...

The day she was leaving for another city, the same day I went to attend a program which can't be postponed or delayed. So yes I went to a program instead of going to See off my 8 years old friend.

I still regret that day when I helped her during our exam, that first cafe date and all those first time. I thank to God that I haven't got physical with her, because just after 10 days of that incident she started showing her traits...

Mein pehle bhi kehta tha aur wapas kehta hu, I've never allowed anyone except my father and sister to dominate me and control me.. but SM did had that authority and she misused it...

What an irony is that I can't say good bye to her just because I've to attend some programs which couldn't be delayed. At last I don't know who is the winner but I lost my friend. The one regret of not saying a last good bye to my friend will remains always in my heart...

[thewriting-corner]

Introduction To My WIPs

Helloo! I just took a ginger shot and multivitamin in the hopes that I do not get a cold right before the free week I plan to use to get all my uni work done, and my brain is fired up lol. ANYWAY, the other day I got a DM asking about TSLBTY and it hit me that despite all the promo I did for TSLBTY, I still never really talked about it 🤔 so here I am ranting to you about the only healthy loves in my life: the wips (or whips, if you will). Have fun, ig? And it goes without saying to please not steal any of these ideas. Be decent

The Sun Leads Back To You

This is my main project at the moment, and has been my source of therapy for a year now. I restarted the current version in April 2022 when I began getting really bad anxiety attacks again and my mental health was ✨on the ground✨ because how else would I cope lol. I hereby present you with a synopsis 🫶🏼

When on vacation with her family in Guanacaste, Costa Rica, Sofía Barrera finds her almost-boyfriend kissing another girl. In an attempt to make him jealous, she asks a random stranger to kiss her. Eager to make her ex even more crazy, she enlists the help of British tourist Thomas Woods to fake date her.

Thomas Woods doesn’t know what he hates more - the brain melting heat of the Costarrican beach or being forced to spend two weeks with his mother’s fiancé and his brand new step siblings. Desperate to get away from them, he accepts an offer to fake date Sofía in exchange for one thing: she gets him away from his new family as much as possible.

Their deal slowly unravels when Sofia’s family falls apart, and more than ever she’s convinced that she’s destined to stay at home forever, making sure her parents do not break the way they did seven years ago. Add an ex-boyfriend determined to win her back and the moody, yet charming Thomas, and Sofia’s world is soon to be collapsed.

I’m on it’s 3rd Draft, about to start the 4th and final once my beta readers finish reading it sometime this month. My current plan is to start querying it on June 1 as a birthday present to myself :) This book has meant the world to me and has helped me move on from so many things that it only feels appropriate to begin its new chapter as I leave my final days of teenage writerdom and entire my 🤢 20s. Sofia and Thomas are the products of my greatest flaws and pride, and yet I hope they will eventually find home in readers’ hearts like they’ve done in mine.

Songs I Relate To It: folklore love triangle :) or Last Kiss by Taylor Swift (iykyk)

The Wrath of Chaos [working title]

Now that I’ve gotten the super gross part of the way, I am pleased to announce that once I send out TSLBTY into the query trenches, I plan to reimagine one of my favorite worlds I’ve ever written! I tried querying this book before and it went terribly, BUT the other day I got an idea on how to make this book better and I CANT WAIT to put it to paper. While I have loved having my dearest, slightly depressed Marty on the spotlight, I’ve decided to shine a little bit of light on my favorite character of all time: Chaos. In this new version, he will be aged down and gain his own POV chapters in the book so that finally, he and Marty can be direct mirrors of each other like they were always meant to be.

Song I Relate To It: Carry On - The Score, AWOLNATION (or literally any song by The Score lol I swear their entire discography fits)

The Time Travel Wip

Working Title: The Time Keepers or Daughter of Time

One of the darkest concepts I have ever come up with, the time travel wip is a sci-fi/romance/thriller about a girl so desperate to return home, she accidentally destroys time😃 In the unfortunate experience of outlining, I realized that the plot was WAY too flat and so I need to rethink a lot of the aspects, which is why it’s so down the line of priorities right now. But I’m fine with that! Good books take time, and I’m excited to see what this wip will end up in once I’m a little less tired to think it through again lol

My plan for this one is to restart the outline eventually lol as soon as I can figure out how to up the stakes. Usually I have no issue with high stakes, but the entire concept of my characters being lost through time made it really hard to keep up with what they have to lose since it’s so difficult to remember the order of events even though it’s written down haha. Definitely my most ambitious project so far, which is why I have no issue taking my time with it. I’ve rushed through these wips in the past, and I’ve come to learn that a quick project will never be worth more than a well done one.

Song I Relate To It: End Game - Taylor Swift, Ed Sheeran, Future

[bowtiesnmusicals]

Here is my recap of the False Finale (Sectionals) episode of the podcast.

This is the fall finale.

They didn't know if they were coming back when they filmed this episode.

Jenna said this episode is very nostalgic and emotional because they didn't know if they were coming back.

Kevin said when he watched the episode there were scenes he remembered reading for the first time. He couldn't believe they got this far. I felt monumental. He had never done more then one or two episodes of a tv show before Glee.

Brad Falchuk directed this episode.

It was a big deal to them.

This episode aired December 9, 2009.

Empire State of Mind is still the #1 song and Blindside is still #1 movie.

Glee was nominated for Golden Globes.

Jenna was not prepared for the crazy press that came with the nominations for Golden Globes.

This was the beginning of the huge thing that Glee became and it was like being shot out of a cannon.

Glee won 5 awards at the 14rh Annual Satellite Awards. Kristen Chenoweth Won for Best Outstanding Guest Star. Lea won for Best Actress. Jane won for Best Supporting Actress. Matt Morrison won for Best Actor.

TV Guide named them Entertainers of the Year. Matt, Lea, and Cory were on the cover.

Glee Season 1 Volume 1 The Road to Sectionals was released on DVD.

This was the midseason break and Glee did not comeback until April.

The cast was working the whole time. The break they had was a promo break. They had to promote the first 13 episodes. They came back sometime in the late fall to continue filming. They did get a break for Chrismas.

People kept coming up to Kevin while he was ice skating with family. His family got super protective.

Jenna remembers going home and being able to by her family super nice Christmas gifts.

It was weird but also super exciting.

Jenna talked about how a favorite restaurant added a plaque to a table and she got pictures with the owners. It made everything feel real. It was like overnight they had become celebrities.

Now onto the episode.

We get to see Amber doing And I'm Telling You for the first time. Jenna watched it and just cried.

The Fox promo for this episode says "The phenomenon that has made America sing brings you an unforgettable fall finale guarantied to make you cheer!"

Kevin said it felt surreal to be on a show being advertised in such a huge way.

Everything happening at the time was unbelievable and very big.

Jenna said she doesn't think they could ever experience what everyone on the outside experienced at the time.

New Directions go to sectionals.

We have babygate, Will and Terri's marriage problems, and Sue maybe finally getting caught.

They start recapping the episode at this point.

Everyone knows Puck is the baby daddy except Rachel. She gets suspicious when Puck helps Quinn when she slips.

Artie starts the use of trout mouth before the real trouty mouth joins Glee. He says it about Rachel.

Jenna remembers shooting the phone scene and being nervous.

It was one long walk and talk. Squishing three people into the camera frame was hard.

This was a really big moment for Santana and Brittany. Kevin doesn't know if it was anything more then a joke at the time. Santana was like sex is not dating and Brittany was like if it were Santana and I would be dating. Everyone pauses and then the scene carries on. It was so good.

We then get to Emma telling Schue that the wedding has been postponed. Ken is not okay with it.

Rachel is up to no good trying to figure out Quinn's baby daddy.

Schue tells the students Emma is his replacement.

Brittany says she's the one they made me talk to when they found out I was keeping that bird in my locker. There are a lot of bird jokes in this season but also in this whole show.

I am with Kevin how did they not know the setlist by this point?

Kevin and Jenna said they did not ask these questions at the time they filmed this episode.

Mercedes is mad because they have to have a solo ballad and Rachel assumes its hers.

Kevin said one his favorite things the show does is when Mercedes wants to prove she can do something and we see her talking to somebody and its a full band with strings.

This was the famous episode where Matt Rutherford (Dijon Talton) gets his one line, I don't know. It was in response to Mercedes asking what is a balladeer. The cast used the I don't know part for years amongst themselves.

Mercedes is sort of like the clubs defacto leader.

Mercedes does And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going. She was going for it every time they shot it. In the recording studio she almost fainted at the end because it is such a hard number.

The reactions were all real. Chris' tears were real as were everyone's cheers.

Kevin called Amber out for not knowing the runs and covered her face with her hair to hide it.

Rachel decides she should have the solo.

She then decides to tell Finn the truth about Quinn and Puck.

The fight in the choir room was done with stunt doubles.

Kevin made a good point that Puck and Finn didn't seem to get hurt in the fight. No one had bruises or anything.

Finn storms out and says he is done.

Rachel apologizes to Quinn. Quinn asks Rachel to leave. Puck comes in to comfort Quinn. Quinn says nah I'm going to do this on my own.

Kevin said Finn is a big guy but throws weak punches or maybe he just missed a lot.

In the bts that he was excited to go to sectionals because it feels like we have been talking about it for ages.

In real life they were growing as actors, friends, and coworkers. They were becoming a cohesive group and learning these numbers. The glee club was doing the same thing. It was all leading to a real stage in a real theater. In real life they got to Glendale and perform at Alex Theatre.

This was there first big competition. By the time they got to season 3 or 4 it was old hat. In season 1 it was all new and it was huge. There were a lot of audience extras and the judges.

This laid the groundwork for how they shot completions from here on out. You couldn't get too creative. Things needed to be structured.

Brad Buecker, a director, would come in with a big poster board that listed all the shots they needed and mark each one off when they finished it.

Jenna vividly remembers shooting the scene in the lobby room. Kevin was really excited for the next scene in this room where he was ramming himself into the wall.

Kevin thought that scene was hilarious with everyone losing their minds in the background after finding out their setlist had been stolen.

Will confronts Sue. It's such a good scene. Sue say love you like a sister. She also makes fun of Will's hair and marriage.

Matt had a really easy episode. It's mostly phone acting.

Will finds Finn in the locker room and gives him a pep talk. It was a really nice full circle moment from the first episode. Sometimes it sucks to be special.

Sweet sweet Emma confronts the other choir directors. She makes them feel really bad.

Rachel calls a group meeting in the green room. Kevin and Jenna said this scene sucked to film. They were on this one set for hours and it was so hot.

Watching the scene it is great and it is an important scene.

If anyone can do a ballad on the fly it is Rachel. I agree with Kevin that it doesn't sit right that Mercedes had to basically say Rachel was the better singer.

This is a really nice moment with Santana saying she likes being in Glee club. There is a lot of trauma bonding going on in this scene.

Finn shows up and pulls a Mr. Schue. It was really sweet to him come in and save the day. It was also cool to see him not be fine with Quinn and Puck.

Rachel does Don't Rain On My Parade. In one episode we get two the actresses would sing in the original shows they came from. The other was Amber in Dreamgirls.

The next number is You Can't Always Get What You Want. Schue planted the seeds for this song during his pep talk to Finn.

They do Somebody To Love as the last number but don't show it.

They think that dummy extras were used during this competiton. They were definitely used in later competition episodes.

Kevin had a hard time not laughing when they did the scene with Rod Remington.

Kevin was starstruck when they did the scene with Eve.

Ian, Brad, and Ryan used this episode to try to wrap up many of the storylines.

The Emma and Will scene after the wedding that was canceled is a bit weird. Why is she fully glammed up and wearing the dress. Otherwise it was a good scene.

We then go to the scene with Mr. Figgins and Sue. Jenna said she was genuinely worried for Figgins.

Sue says to Figgins that you are about to board the Sue Sylvester express. Destination: Horror.

We don't find out until now that the New Directions won.

This is when they do My Life Would Suck Without You.

Zach and Brooke the choreographers came up with the idea to incorporate all the most iconic numbers or moves from other numbers from the season thus far. It was a nod to those moments for Mr. Schue.

In the last scene Will and Emma weren't supposed to kiss. Brad Falchuk told Matt to kiss Jayma to get an honest reaction from her.

Tartie Takes:

Cringe Moments/Ouchies - JBI saying he was just wanting to get into Rachel's pants. The judges comments on the different choirs.

Worst Dance Move - The callback to some of the weird numbers like Push It during My Life Would Suck Without You.

Best Dance Move - Revisiting all the dance moves in My Life Would Suck Without You

Favorite Song - Don't Rain On My Parade and I Am Telling You

Best Performance by a Prop - the trophy

Best Lines - Sue saying running a high school glee club and finding a hairstyle that doesn't make you look like a lesbian. Also the Sue line about riding on the Sue Sylvester train, destination horror.

Shit We Found on TikTok:

Someone watched Glee so much that the logo is burned into his tv.

Jenna cannot wait to recap Hello.

Now we are on our way to Regionals.

[katrinayentch]

100 Miles on the Wonderland Trail

Earlier this year, during spring 2022, I signed up for two lotteries that would grant me passes to backpack on either The Wonderland Trail or The Enchantments. The Enchantments is 21 miles. The Wonderland Trail is 100.

Guess which lottery I won?

Regardless of whether I thought I could do it or not, winning that lottery gave me no choice but to say yes. The park grants around 600 reservation-based permits every year.

It’s pretty intimidating to organize because you have to reserve all your campsites in advance, and it feels like waiting on your computer browser to register for the best classes you want. To my advantage and blessing, one of my best friends happens to be a map nerd—yup, they’re out there guys. They are out there and thriving! Thanks to his wisdom (and the handy dandy Nat Geo paper maps), after calculating the elevation and terrain of the land, he patiently sat with me on a Saturday morning in April, MONTHS before the start date, to help me pick out the best spots. And so, with five other people crazy enough to join me on this journey, we spent 9 days in August ditching our jobs, phones, and “real-world problems” to conquer 100 miles around the base of Mount Rainier.

We didn’t do any training beforehand. If anything, it was a chance to carb load as hard as we wanted because we knew that we were going to be eating nothing but dehydrated food and Clif Bars—so might as well enjoy what we had now! We even car camped the night before with friends who weren’t joining, destroying breakfast burritos and sipping on beers.

That being said, it was a late and ROUGH start on trail the next day. With unusually hot temperatures, we scaled nearly 2,000 feet of elevation at three in the afternoon, only to go straight back down at a knee-banging angle. Little did we know that that was going to be the pattern for every single day onward. Mosquitos were flying, sweat was compiling, and we didn’t get to our first campsite till after 9 p.m.

Several of us were definitely wondering what the heck we got ourselves into, but as the next couple days continued, we got our “trail legs” on. We learned to wake up before 7:30 and when it was time to go at our own paces. The heat subsided as we reached the northern side of the mountain, with wildflowers in full bloom and black bears grazing on days 3 and 4. The “wonderland” part of the Wonderland Trail began to settle in, and the further I wanted to escape within it. It became odd to hike on stretches of the trail that were open to the greater public of the park. We walked alongside day visitors covered in dirt with our giant backpacks while families and kids were prancing around with ice cold sodas and clothes that didn’t smell of crusty sweat and dust.

I couldn’t tell you how many running jokes came out of the trip, but I can tell you that I probably lost a couple pounds from how hard I laughed throughout The Wonderland Trail. I couldn’t begin to convey to you just how difficult the trail was, even after we had gotten into better shape. There’s 22,000 feet of elevation gain total, which left us with blisters and knee problems left and right. When I’d finally post up for the night (which is NOT right in front of a great view, for any non-backpackers reading this who see picturesque photos of campsites on social media), I’d knock out as soon as my head hit the pillow—and I’m a pretty light sleeper. Yet, despite all of this, I got to bond so deeply with our group, in a way that we will probably never get to do again. 9 days nonstop with the same people. Half of whom didn’t know each other super well prior to this trail. And yet, here we were by the end of it cracking stupid jokes, using the bathroom in front of each other, and just being plain gross together.

So by the time it got to day 7, when several of us were thinking about finishing the trail a day early, I wasn’t ready to leave. This year has probably been one of the most stressful and anxiety-ridden years of my life since 2015. My search for “the next move” in my career and my life begins to weigh on me harder as inflation continues to pressure everyone to do anything to stay afloat, and I’m constantly doubting what I’ve been doing to get where I am today. Being on this hiking trail, in the best shape I’d ever been by the end of it, without a phone whose emails are blowing up, and with some of the most genuine people I’ve ever met, I wasn’t ready to go back into all of that.

Yet, that’s what we ended up doing on the last day. And boy, did it feel good to sit in a car and drive it 10 miles at a quicker pace than it’d take to hike the same distance. We crawled to the McMenamin’s and ate our burgers and drank our beer, as is customary in post-hike culture. We drove home, and as the cold hardwood floors touched my feet, it felt foreign to stand on compared to the soft dirt of the trail. I avoided turning on my phone for hours, already aching at the thought of what might await me on the other end.

So here we are months later, and reflecting on the experience, I wonder why I only backpacked two trails this year. Life during/after/during-after covid has been so fast-paced, everything all at once. As I get older I realize how much harder it’s going to be to get to do things like this; just disappear for awhile, but with people I love.

I still don’t really know what the future holds, but for now I know that I’m capable of doing something as insane as this. And it may indeed continue to be hard to get out there as often as life continues to speed up, but I can’t wait until the next experience, and I will certainly do whatever I can to make sure I never lose those same feelings of escapism and gratitude when I get out there.

[my-1heart]

Eating Together is Always Better!

Ruggie x reader (gender neutral)

Word count: 415

Note: another sleepless night, this time I’m a bit hungry so what if we do midnight snacks with Ruggie?

Trying to sleep while your stomach growled was no easy task. Each time you felt as if you were on the brink of sleep, your stomach kicked in with pain due to it being empty.

After about 4 more growls, you decided you couldn’t deny your stomach’s cry anymore, you quietly left the room and headed for the exit.

Savanaclaw’s exit hadn’t been too far from the room you were staying in, so finding your way out and to the mirror chambers wasn’t too hard.

You had approached the cafeteria’s entrance with full intentions of the doors being locked, but to your surprise, they weren’t. Weird. Wouldn’t Crowley want the school building to be safely kept?

Whatever, you thought as you walked into the cafeteria and made your way to the kitchen. The only plans were to rummage through the fridges.

It seemed as if luck was on your side tonight as you found several treats. Cupcakes and cookies seemed to have been left by whoever was in the kitchen before hand and by far the most appealing items within the fridge.

Well it’s not like they’d miss a few as there was more then a good 2 dozen and unfortunately your stomach began growling like crazy again, so you took a few and left the kitchen to find a seat.

Just then, the cafeteria door opened, scaring you out of your plans to begin eating.

“Seems I finally found you! Shishishi!” The figure laughed.

At first you had definitely been scared, but of course the laugh had helped you identify the figure more clearly. Your boyfriend, Ruggie, was now walking towards you.

“I left quietly, in hopes you wouldn’t wake up…” you pouted a bit. You genuinely didn’t wanna wake him up just because you had been hungry.

“You really are too caring sometimes.” He sighed, “If you were hungry, I could have totally whipped something up for you.” He said, with a slight glare.

“But it’s late. I didn’t want to do so much just because I was hungry…” you let out, as you gave him an apologetic look.

“Well if you’re hungry next time, I’d be happy to make something for you.” He beamed.

This only caused you to advert his gaze, as you went back to finishing the cookie you had started.

A bigger smile quickly crept onto his face as he quickly sat next to you and snatched the little bite of cookie left within your grasp. This caused you to let out a small dramatic gasp, as he couldn’t help but laugh again.

“Hey, hey, don’t get mad. Can’t you share? After all, eating together is always better! Shishishi!” He laughed once more, before you both shared the midnight snacks.

April 20, 2022 3:11 AM

[fabuloustrash05]

Rewriting Irma from TMNT 2012

Warning: Season 2 Finale Spoilers

The season 2 finale had a lot going on, with a lot of jaw dropping moments, but one that many TMNT 2012 fans still talk about today was the reveal that Irma was Kraang Sub Prime in disguise. Many were upset with this reveal, saying that Irma deserved better, while others thought it was a cool plot twist and interesting take on this classic TMNT character.

By season 4 Irma (in a way) returned as a the Utrom Rook who works along side Bishop. I personally found this to be a creative way to bring Irma back without actually bringing Irma back. But then I thought, what if this concept was handle differently? Still having Irma but keeping the robot twist. So here’s my rewrite for 2012 Irma/Rook.

(Get ready cause this is a LONG one)

Irma’s introduction and role in season 2 will remain the same as canon, being the nosey friend that April and Casey have to hide their secret life and mutant turtle friends from. She constantly shows suspicion that her friends are hiding something from her, but no matter how hard she tries to learn the truth, April and Casey find a way to dodge that topic.

One moment I purposely intend to keep from season 2 is during the episode “A Chinatown Ghost Story” when the ghost Ho-Chan has April and Irma captured, planning to use April’s powers for his evil plans. He then looks at Irma and says this:

This line foreshadows the later reveal that she’s a Kraang bot in canon (because Ho-Chan is a ghost who doesn’t understand advance alien technology) and for this rewrite that line will remain, but for a different purpose that I’ll explain later.

The true start of this rewrite begins during the season 2 finale when April takes Irma to the turtles lair to hide from the Kraang invasion that’s occurring.

In canon Irma is taken to the lair, sees the turtles and reveals herself to be Kraang Sub Prime in disguise. This results in the Kraang invading the turtles lair and causing our heroes to leave New York to hide out at April’s farmhouse in season 3.

But what if that didn’t happen? What if Irma wasn’t Kraang Sub Prime? So instead when April takes Irma to the lair, unknown to them they were being tracked/followed by the Kraang (And Kraang Sub Prime who will still show up but in a non Irma like robot suit). The Kraang invade the Turtles lair giving Irma very little time to question or freak out about the four mutant turtles and rat as the lair gets under attack by the Kraang. The season 2 finale ends with Irma escaping New York with the turtles (an unconscious Leo), April, and Casey.

At the start of season 3 April would explain in her journal narration during the first episode that Irma does not seem too phased by the whole mutant turtles situation, how she is more intrigued than scared or freak out by them.

Irma would explain to April (either later in the episode or through April’s journal narration) that she’s already witness other crazy things in her life (referencing back to her being kidnapped by the Rat King and by Ho-Chan) so the turtles to her aren’t anything new. In fact, she actually gets along well with them!

Irma would spend her time during the farmhouse arc hanging out with the turtles. She’d watch Crognard with Mikey, help care for Leo, tag team with Raph into picking on Casey, and spend a lot of time with Donnie in his lab barn (nerds being nerds together). She would not take part in their training though, saying she’s not much of a fighter, but still watches and supports them when they do.

Skip to the 2nd episode “A Foot Too Big” because it ends differently and this is were things take a turn for both April and Donnie’s characters and relationship. By the end of the episode Donnie and April would talk about the Bigfoot situation and Donnie would tell her he now understands how she feels and how he will stop perusing her (something canon should’ve had him do, but noooooo). April will tell Donnie that she doesn’t want this to mean their friendship will end, that she understands and acknowledges his feelings for her, but she can’t come to reciprocating his feelings right now due to everything going on. She assures him that its not because of him being a mutant, but because she just sees him as one of her best friends and does not want to take that away. Donnie fakes a smiles and says he’s glad she’s his friend too. They hug before April leaves him alone on the porch, still upset with how things turned out between him and his first crush, but at the same time he knows it’s for the best. 

Then enters Irma to see how he’s doing. She cheers him up, making a joke how he dodge a bullet on the whole Bigfoot thing, maybe jokingly saying they would’ve made a cute couple, making Donnie laugh and truly smile, something he hasn’t done the whole episode. They share a sweet moment as Irma then offers to help him work on a new project Donnie has been testing in his barn lab (mainly with the goal to help him get his mind off of the April thing). Donnie accepts and they head off to the lab. The episode ends with April looking at them through the window with a faint smile on her face.

Irma and Donnie begin to grow a bond after that episode, she helps him out in his barn lab and they’re always seen talking about something scientific or laughing about an inside joke between them. His brothers would be happy that Irma’s getting along with them, while also indirectly saying that Donnie is moving in from his crush on April, and while April is happy seeing her two closest friends get along so well there’s small signs of slight jealousy. Donnie is now focusing more on Irma, practically ignoring April and spending more time with Irma. And yet despite Irma becoming closer to the team, the gang has noticed a few things off about her, mostly for Mikey in the beginning.

Suspicion of her on Mikey’s end begins to surface during the episode “Buried Secrets”. When they find the Kraang ship under April’s house Irma seems to understand how the ship operates a little too well, figuring it out quicker than Donnie (someone who has experience with this kind of technology vs someone who, to our knowledge, doesn’t). For example: She knows how to power it on and is able to retrieve info files from the ship in a matter of seconds (foreshadowing). Mikey notices this odd detail about their new friend very quickly while the others just see it as Irma being smart, but Mikey doesn’t say anything for now because they are too focus on the return/discovery of April’s “mother” and his suspicions turn to her instead like in canon.

First half of season 3 will then play out like in canon, just now with the inclusion of Irma, some occasional lines from her, funny dialogue and jokes from her, banter between her and Raph or Casey, and her and Donnie bonding (something that’s really catching April’s attention the more it happens).

I can imagine a scene where Raph confronts Donnie about the whole Irma situation teasing him and saying something like “So you’re changing targets, huh?”. Donnie would then laugh it off and say him and Irma are just friends, but Raph’s words start to get his little brother to think about his relationship with her and how maybe, just maybe, their could be something more.

Before they head back to New York Donnie and Irma would be packing up the party wagon and they get to talking about what they will do once they save New York. Donnie would ask Irma if she’d be interested in spending more time with him after they save New York, like they did at the farmhouse. Irma seems rather surprised by his offer, but happily accepts.

Cut to Mikey watching their conversation from inside the farmhouse and finally he asks his brothers if they noticed anything off about Irma.

“I’ve been noticing weird things about her since the day I met her,” Casey jokes.

“No, I mean like, really weird,” Mikey says, “Like April’s fake mom weird...”

The turtles and Casey laugh it off, saying that Mikey probably just finds it strange that a girl is actually interested in Donnie. Mikey doesn’t try to persuade them with his theories any longer, knowing they won’t take him seriously, but he does ask April for her thoughts for she has known Irma the longest.

April tells Mikey that Irma has always been a mysterious person in her life, she never recalls her ever mentioning her family, let alone ever actually being to her house. April then goes on to tell Mikey the story of how she met Irma, saying she met her a little while after she first met Mikey and his brothers. She explains that Irma was the new girl at her high school and April was assigned to be her guide and show her around the school. She says they quickly bonded, with Irma seeming rather determined to befriend her, but April assumed that was just her being new and wanting a friend, and they became best friends shortly after. 

Mikey then starts to get convinced that maybe he’s just overthinking everything about Irma, saying aloud that maybe his brothers and Casey are right that he just thinks its strange that a girl is actually interested in Donnie.

“W-What do you mean by that?” April asks curiously.

“Oh, you know... Donnie and Irma kinda have a little spark between them.” Mikey says with a wink.

“A spark?...”

April has no time to think over what Mikey said for it is now time to go back to New York and save the city from the Kraang. 

I imagine the whole returning to New York part of mid season 3 with Irma to be that she kind of hangs off on the side. She’s not a fighter so she hides out, but I imagine at one point she steals a Kraang blaster from one the destroyed Kraang bots and finally gets into the action, kicking some Kraang a$$.

(I gave her a blaster just like canon did with both Rook and the Irma bot, girl deserves a weapon and stealing a Kraang blaster just makes sense)

When they find Splinter and hide out in the pizzeria, Irma keeps her blaster and stays at the pizzeria with Splinter most of the time, mainly to make sure he’s okay, helping him recover after what happened to him, and to protect him and their hide out while the others go out to save the city.

If some of you recall, I did another rewrite a while back about the character Bishop and for this rewrite for Irma, I’m adding my changes to Bishop here as well. To summarize: Bishop would get introduced into the story sooner in season 3 for better build up of the later space arc in season 4. Basically take the episode “Battle For New York” and replace Kurtzman with Bishop. Bishop would be a mysterious information source the Mutanimals and later the turtles would be getting their info about the Kraang from and soon Bishop reveals himself to both mutant teams to discuss with them the Kraang’s finale plan to mutate the Earth in their own Dimension X. While they don’t trust him (for obvious reasons), they have no other choice but to team up with this Kraang look-a-like. 

As the half hour special plays out eventually The turtles, Mutanimals, and Bishop meet up with April and the others. As they do Bishop comes across Irma and they stare each other down. Irma then approaches the Utrom and says “About time you decided to get involved with this Kraang problem.” Irma says in a snarky tone.

They then join in the fist bump Fugitoid and Bishop do in the episode “The War For Dimension X”

This one ^^^

(Shout out to my friend @sophfandoms53 for getting me this gif)

Everyone looks at Irma confused as Bishop tells her, “We needed time to prepare and know what the Kraang were planning, Agent Rook. Queen told me to stand by and let the battle take its course but I had to intervene.”

“Irma?” April asked, “What’s going on?”

“Yeah, what is he talking about? And why is he calling you Agent Rook?” Donnie adds.

“You befriended them yet you never told them the truth...” Bishop huffs.

“You know I wasn’t supposed to. Queens orders.” Irma tells him.

This is the reveal, Irma finally comes clean about her true identity. She explains that her name is not Irma Langinstein, but Agent Rook. She is not human but an Utrom from Dimension X who her and her people have been fighting against the Kraang for centuries. She explains that after the very first episode when the turtles stop the Kraang from kidnapping April the Utrom Council were given word that a mysterious source has been fighting against the Kraang. The Council were aware that April was the main target for the Kraang’s plan so they came to the conclusions that who ever is stopping the Kraang must have a close connection with April. That’s when Rook came in. Her mission from the Utrom Queen was to attend April’s high school undercover as a new student and befriend April to achieve two goals:

1) Keep an eye on April and protect her from the Kraang or any future abductions.

2) Find out who are the one’s stopping all of the Kraang’s schemes and figure out if they are a threat or an ally to her people.

(Basically Irma was assigned to be April’s bodyguard)

That’s why Irma was always trying to presaude April and Casey to introduce her to their mysterious other friends, for she knew they were the ones stopping the Kraang. Once she officially met them, before leaving New York in the season 2 finale, Rook sent out a secret message to Bishop letting him know who were the ones stopping the Kraang all this time, the Turtle Warriors. With that Bishop began collecting info on the Kraang’s plan, secretly sending them to the Mutanimals, knowing they would give them to the Turtles once they have returned. It’s like they were playing a game of chess with everyone (lol get it?).

So you could imagine the shock and feeling of betrayal the Turtles, April, and Casey felt when they found out their friend was not who she said she was. Well... except for Mikey. 

Mikey when it was revealed that Irma is an Utrom:

The rest of the episode will be all about stopping the Kraang from launching their mutagen missile to mutate the Earth, but the side plot, beside one of them being the Mutanimals story and Slash’s insecurities as leader, will also be about Irma (now going to be referred to as Rook for the rest of the rewrite) trying to gain her friends trust again. They now all believe that they meant nothing to her, how she was only their for a mission, they were her mission, to examine them and practically watch them like a babysitter. April feels hurt because she trusted her and she was her best friend yet all their time together now felt like it was nothing, and as for Donnie he feels he doesn’t know her any more and how their relationship was nothing as well. The gang all try to ignore Rook during the special, not acknowledging her when she tries to explain herself to them, but their opinions on her change when Rook saves April. Let’s say April’s back was turned and she was unaware a Kraang was about to shoot her so Rook jumps in to save her. She takes the blast for April, resulting in Rook's robotic arm being shot off. April panics as Rook tells her not to worry, she can just replace it later, saying “I got tons more at home.”

April and Rook would then share a moment together, Rook would apologize for not being honest with her and April would tell her there’s no need to apologize, saying she understands that Rook was just doing her job and her intentions were never bad. Rook then tells her that all her time she spent with everyone, especially her, was genuine, she loved hanging out with April and the others and truly consider them her friends. April then asks about Donnie, “Were those feelings genuine?” she asks.

Before Irma could give an answer they get interrupted by another Kraang attack and get back into the fight. We maybe then get a cool April and Irma back to back shot of them kicking Kraang a$$, April with her tessan and Rook with her blaster.

Little side note for those who are curious: Yes, Rook/Irma has lived longer than the turtles, April, and Casey in this rewrite (and also techically in canon), but I don’t consider her an adult. Reminder that in Dimension X time goes by quicker, remember when Mikey was in Dimension X for months but to his brothers he was only in there for a few seconds. So my headcanon for this rewrite is that Rook in Dimension X is hundreds of years old, but in Earth years she’s around 16.

Back to the rewrite!

Once the battle with the Kraang is over and the Turtles and Mighty Mutanimals save the day, Donnie reunites with Rook and they get to talking. Donnie sees Rook with her missing arm and worries about her, but she tells him not to worry and how she can fix it easily. Seeing her sacrifice makes Donnie and the rest of the Turtles realize they were wrong about Rook and how she is still there friend. Donnie can even acknowledge how amazed he is by her technology and robot body and wants so badly to ask her so many questions about what she knows (since she’s an alien and knows so much) but before he could Bishop says it is time for him and Rook to return home.

There’s not enough time for heartfelt goodbyes as Bishop and Rook must head back to their base to report to the Utrom Queen of what had happened with the Kraang. Rook looks at her friends, says a quick goodbye, and heads towards the portal that will take her back home to her dimension. However before she walks through the turtles and friends call out to her. Rook turns and looks back at them as they all smile.

“Come visit us any time!” Mikey happily shouts out to her.

Her attention then gets drawn to Donnie as the purple turtle looks at her and smiles, “We’re still on to hang out right? Now that this is all over?”

A gleam of hope sparks in her eyes as she smiles, “Definitely!”

Mid season 3 would conclude the Irma/Rook being apart of the team arc. For the rest of the series Rook will be back with the Utrom Council, so she wouldn’t make as many appearances as before but still be a helpful ally to the Turtles. Though she’s no longer in the main cast, in this rewrite she would still make appearances in certain episodes such as the season 3 finale, “The War for Dimension X” (this time with more character interactions with the turtles, mainly Donnie, and even Fugitoid who she’s good friends with), and even her working along side Bishop in the episode “Tokka vs The World”. The episode “When Worlds Collide” would also give her a little more screen time for it would play out differently too, but that’s a rewrite for another post ;)

As for her relationship with Donnie I’ll leave that decision up to you guys. Do her and Donnie start something romantic or do they decide to stay friends and occasional lab partners aka nerd buddies?

Or do Donnie and April end up together due to better character and relationship growth in the rewrite. Maybe April’s slight jealousy of Donnie and Rook’s relationship led to her to realize her true feelings for Donnie. Again, I’ll leave that up to you guys in the comments.

Thank you all so much for reading another one of my TMNT 2012 rewrites! It was a long one so props to you if you made it this far! You get a cookie! 🍪

Feel free to reblog or comment your thoughts. I love to hear others ideas and thoughts!

[wkil-109-fmx-radio]

[Zone Info]

Events:

Helium I - Fought between 1993 and 1998 when tensions between governments around the world finally turned to war. Nuclear warfare wiped out Northern-Middle Eurasia, most of South America, South-Eastern North America, and Southern Africa. The war ended when what was left of Europe and Asia surrendered.

The Rise of Better Living Industries - BL/ind started as a weapons manufacturing/power company that rose into a major monopoly and self-governing body that overthrew the US toward the end of the first Helium War. It immediately began an effort to bring “peace” to the nation by ridding the country of all individualism and “radical” beliefs, believing that different ideas would turn into conflict. This quickly turned into ridding the country of creativity and self-expression to make a perfect, crime-free society.

Helium II - Fought between 2006 and 2011 when Better Living Industries had taken control of what was left of North and South America and began attacking the rest of the world, trying to rid the planet of ideas that didn’t match theirs. The East Coast started rebelling against the West Coast, where BL/ind had established their capital in what was once Los Angeles but had been renamed Battery City. A wall of nuclear bombs was dropped around the Rocky Mountains and thanks to the radiation around the globe affecting the radio waves, no one knows for sure whether there is anyone else living on the planet outside of Battery City and its surrounding Zones.

The Rise of the Rebels - Since the very beginning of Better Living Industries’ reign, rebels had appeared. When Battery City was established as BL/ind’s capital city, settlements started popping up in the desert outside of the city. On the East Coast of North America, a massive rebellion effort was led against BL/ind during the second Helium War. As the years passed, more rebels started appearing in Battery City and moving to the desert, eventually renamed The Zones, especially after BL/ind seemed to have destroyed the East Coast rebels. Rebels in the Zones became known as Killjoys and rebels in the city became known as Juvie Halls. Rebels began attacking Better Living Industries factories and facilities, hoping to weaken the company but only resulting in angering BL/ind.

The Fires of 2012 - From April till August of 2012, Better Living Industries began lighting fires across the Zones in an attempt to destroy the Killjoys, as they had grown out of BL/ind’s control. The Fires got out of control and ended up spreading to some Better Living Industries camps and buildings that were still stationed in the Zones. As a result, BL/ind blamed the rebels for the Fires and denied any claims of the truth. The blame being placed on the rebels sparked the start of the Analog Wars.

The Analog Wars - Fought between 2012 and 2017 or, to some, from 2012 to the present. The Analog War wasn’t your usual war; it was mostly small battles in the Zones or sabotage of BL/ind or rebel facilities. Better Living Industries describes it as “an effort to suppress the rebels and their radical and dangerous ideals.” During the war, BL/ind established the Draculoid and S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W units.

The Pig Bombs of 2017 - On July 4, 2017, Better Living Industries dropped a series of bombs in Zone 8 to destroy the Killjoy farming communities that were settled there. BL/ind had previously withheld using nuclear weapons in the Zones because they didn’t want the radiation destroying Battery City so they settled for dropping them in Zone 8, although they ended up also destroying several important Better Living Industries facilities in the process. The bombs wiped Zones 7, 8, and 9 off the map, left some places in Zone 6 uninhabitable, and created a wall of radiation around the Zones and Battery City, trapping them and isolating them from the rest of the world. This marked the end of the Analog Wars, although some believe that since there was no official surrender or treaty, the war is still going on.

Places:

Battery City - The capital of whatever is left of the US that Better Living Industries can control. In Battery City, the citizens are required to take “Happy Pills.” In the city, BL/ind controls the weather, the way people dress, where kids go to school, and where adults work. Every citizen has a set routine, sent to them in the morning along with their medication. In the center of Battery City is the Better Living Industries headquarters which is the tallest building and largest complex in the city and home to the Director, the head of BL/ind.

The Underground - The subway systems under Battery City where many juvie halls live and plot against Better Living Industries. “The Underground” doesn’t always literally mean the subway systems and can be used as a relative term for anywhere juvie halls may live.

The Outskirts - The edge of Battery City, bordering Zone 1. This is where lower-class citizens live, along with some juvie halls, as this is the least regulated part of the city.

The Zones - The desert surrounding Battery City, where the Killjoys live. As the number of the Zone gets higher, so does the population, as the Killjoys like to be as far away from Battery City and BL/ind headquarters as possible.

Route Guano - The most used interstate in the Zones, running from south-eastern Battery City all the way out past Zone 6.

The Getaway Mile - The interstate south of Route Guano, which is shorter and goes more south but is often used for quick escapes from Battery City.

Death Valley - The area outside of Zone 6 that is dangerous and completely uninhabitable due to the extreme radiation.

Lighthouses - Well-known places across the Zones that provide sanctuary for Killjoys on the run

Train Station Avenue - A popular lighthouse along Route Guano in Zone 5 that is notorious for fights, food, and hitchhikers

The Nest - The largest lighthouse in the Zones, located next to DESTROYA in Zone 4

DESTROYA Site - The home of DESTROYA, a massive droid built by Better Living Industries to destroy the Killjoys during the Analog Wars but ended up malfunctioning and turning against them. The droid was shot down and has remained there ever since.

The Bunker - An underground bunker turned nightclub in Zone 6, popular for raves and huge amounts of attendees

Witch’s Hut - A small hut in Zone 6 where a supposed prophet of the Phoenix Witch lives

The Tracks - A race track in Zone 5 used for competitive drag races where parties are held and bets are placed for your favorite racers

Vocabulary:

Angel Cake - Killjoys who travel across the Zones selling food for cheaper prices

Audition - Initiation rituals that gangs in or outside of Battery City may have for you to be able to join. What you have to do varies from gang to gang

Babysitter - a term used to poke fun at a gang leader but also used as a genuine term for gang leaders who may be visibly older than the rest of the gang

Bacon - dead or dying Dracs and Crows

Batt out of hell - a term for new Killjoys but not used in a derogatory way

Batt Rat - a derogatory term used by Sand Pups to describe new Killjoys who just escaped the city and don’t know the Zone ways

Black Smith - someone who’s good at repairing or modifying technology or cars

Bifrost - places in the Zones that were so greatly affected by bombs, that the sand turned to glass

Blanket drive - driving at night with the headlights off, the windows down, and the music turned up loud

Carbons - The currency used in Battery City and the Zones. One carbon equals four dollars

Chilly - something or someone that’s suspicious

Clap - a physical fight

Cloud - A large group of Draculoids and S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W traveling through the Zones

Compass Rose - a Killjoy who knows the desert like the back of their hand

Costa Rica - things that went crazy or got out of control

Crash Queen - a daredevil or thrill seeker who is known for doing things that could easily get them killed and doesn’t care

Deadfaced - taking Battery Acid

Dead Pegasus - a fuel company in the Zones

Debut album - someone’s first love

Digital - An important moment shared amongst two or more rebels that they know they will never forget

Draculoid - droids and brainwashed Killjoys designed to kill rebels. Also called "bats" or "Dracs"

Drifter - someone who lives a nomadic lifestyle and strays from commitment in relationships

Drifting - A relationship that isn’t strictly anything but simply some sort of attraction between two individuals. A sort of go-with-the-flow, whatever happens, happens kind of relationship

Drive sidestreet - another way to tell someone to piss off. Also could use “get off the highway”

Dust Trail - an urban legend or a term used by non-religious Killjoys to describe religious Killjoys’ beliefs

ElectroKat - the most popular battery brand in Battery City and the Zones

Exterminators - High ranking Better Living Industries officials placed in charge of S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W units

Fact News - The one news program in Battery City, notorious for spreading lies to the citizens

Favorite Record - someone’s significant other

Firefight - a fight using ray guns

Fly half-mast - that state after having recently lost someone close to you

Gearhead - someone who’s obsessed with all things mechanical

Gemini - someone suspected of being a spy for Better Living Industries

Ghost Chase - Searching the Zones for someone who is possibly, or most likely, dead

Ghosted - killed. Also can use "dusted"

Graffiti Bible - A collection of religious writings across the Zones, mostly talking about how DESTROYA will come back to life and destroy Battery City and the Phoenix Witch

Gravehead - crazy Killjoys who have lost everyone and everything and throw themselves into dangerous situations

Gravity - anything that brings you down

Groupie - someone who travels with different gangs and trades favors for food, water, and protection

Halo Head - religious Killjoys who believe their beliefs put them above everyone else, especially non-religious Killjoys

Happy Pills - Pills issued by Better Living Industries that they say will lift your spirits and protect you from the radiation but make you more submissive and easier for BL to control. The rebels call them "Battery Acid"

Hit the red line - run away, usually from a bad/dangerous situation

Icy - when someone dies or goes missing in a suspicious way

Juvie Hall - rebels who haven’t left the city, usually because they can’t or because they’re working with the Killjoys to smuggle supplies out to the Zones and/or give them information from the city

Killjoy - rebels who live in the Zones

Lawyer - someone who ruins all the fun

Mailbox - small landmarks in the Zones where an old mailbox is painted and decorated and filled with letters, mostly to people that other Killjoys have lost. The more religious Killjoys believe the Phoenix Witch delivers the letters put in the mailboxes to the dead

Maple Plaza - Places in Zone 6 where radiation is still very thick and dangerous

Mega - interchangeable with "wicked"

Motorbabies - people who live and breathe all things car-related

Mousekat - a cartoon character from Battery City

Murder - a magazine in the Zones with Zone news

Pangea - A friendly gathering of two or more gangs

Paperboy - someone who travels across the Zones collecting news, gossip, and reporting deaths, usually for Dr. D or Murder magazine

Phoenix Witch - a supposed deity of the Zones, looking out for the rebels and carrying the souls of the dead into the afterlife

Pigs - another term for Dracs and Crows

Plus - A battery replenisher used by droids that are known for being highly addictive

Power Pup - a pre-moistened dog kibble brand that is often the only source of food in the Zones

Ray Gun - guns that shoot high-powered lasers instead of bullets. Rebels often customize them

Rebel - anyone who actively works against Better Living Industries

Ritalin Rat - drug addicts, usually used for those addicted to Happy Pills but can be used for Zoneweed addicts as well

Robin Hood Honey - party going Killjoys that look beautiful but don’t act like it

Rongee Kay - Killjoys who wander from party to party

Royal - something fancy or high end

Runners - juvie halls who smuggle supplies into the Zones

Sand Pup - someone born in the Zones or someone who has lived there most of their life

Sand Worm - a derogatory term for Killjoys used by Better Living Industries

S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W - BL loyalists specially trained to destroy anything they deem worthy of destroying. Also called "Crows"

Screwhead - someone who parties too much and thinks too little

Shiny Magazine - a magazine for mature readers in the Zones

Shiny - interchangeable with "awesome" or "cool"

Shower Curtain - A rare day when the sun is behind the clouds and the heat isn’t so unbearable

Smiley - someone acting suspiciously

Sour - something off

Squeaky - not having committed a crime against Better Living Industries but still wanting to rebel against them. Also used when someone seems to avoid fights or dangerous situations even though they’ve never done that before

Static - another word for sand or remote areas of the Zones

Trojan Horse - a painfully obvious lie

Tumbleweed - someone who wanders the Zones, living a nomadic lifestyle, having no home or gang

Vend-a-Hack - A device used by Killjoys to hack into Better Living Industries vending machines to steal various supplies

Vending Machine - Dispense a variety of items, including ray guns, batteries, ammo, stickers, stress toys, Plus, Power Pup, and water

WKIL 109 FMX - Doctor D’s pirate radio station that plays news and music

Zone Rat - a derogatory term for Killjoys used by Better Living Industries and some Battery City citizens

Zoneweed - a popular drug grown and passed around in the Zones

[beca-mitchell]

little taste of heaven (i'm caught up in you) (1/1)

Summary: now i see daylight AU - Beca and Chloe’s first date, finally. 

Word count: 3.9k

For @anna-kendrick​: We've worked on this universe for the past year and holy, it means the world to both of us that you guys love Beca and Chloe as much as we do. Thank you so much for the encouragement and love, always.And of course, again, thank you to Josi who is an incredibly talented artist. Look at this art.

title from "untouchable (taylor's version)" though I did heavily consider using "our song"...i just liked the energy of untouchable a bit more.

Read below or on AO3!

* * * * *

AGE: 15/16 LOCATION: Brookline, MA MONTH: June

 * * * * *

 It is finally June. The warm air is only a hint of better things to come. Like the last day of school before total freedom.

Beca smiles at Chloe as she nears Beca’s locker. “Hey,” she greets. “Good practice?”

Around them, students mill about excitedly, cleaning out their lockers and making plans for the summer to come. Chloe shrugs, hair clearly still damp from her shower. “I don’t know why we keep running through practices when we have no more games for the season.”

“Got to keep the regional champions in top shape,” Beca teases. “Keep the other teams on their toes.”

“But I’m tired,” Chloe complains. She leans heavily on a neighboring locker. “Since it's the last day of school, will you come over tonight for dinner? My parents are whining about how they haven’t seen you in a while.”

Beca clears her throat, thinking about how the last time she had gone over to Chloe’s house had been when Chloe and Tom broke up...at the end of April. Over a month ago. She had gone because Chloe had been crying and upset. She had gone because even if her body ached with the anxiety of not knowing where she and Chloe stood, she and Chloe were always going to be friends first. Best friends.

Best friends who felt something more than friendship for each other. Confirmed, real feelings. Feelings that made them want to kiss each other.

Feelings that they hadn’t yet talked about. Or acted on despite both of them being extremely single at the moment.

Hell, Chloe's birthday came and went a couple weeks ago without much fanfare. Beca had been too shy to do anything remotely romantic and they ended up going to a movie with a few friends before going to an arcade.

“Bec?”

Beca nods stiltedly, pretending to contemplate her now-empty locker a bit more before turning to face Chloe. She steadies herself with a quick breath. “I’d love nothing more.”

 * * * * *

 Beca stares at her reflection with some trepidation.

“It’s just Chloe,” she mutters to herself, eyes tracking over every crease in the skirt she has picked out. Maybe I should go with jeans, she thinks. But it’s gross and hot out today.

She isn’t even sure why she’s nervous. It just feels like a return to normalcy of sorts, but Beca’s pretty sure that now that she knows what it feels like to kiss Chloe and what it feels like, a little bit at least, to know that Chloe feels somewhat similarly to her. It’s different. In a good way. Maybe it’s different in a scary way.

She isn’t even sure she can bring up the topic with her mother, so that’s an added layer of uncertainty: it’s additionally anxiety-inducing not knowing how her mother will react.

It’s well past the time that Beca should have already walked out the door to head next door by the time she actually forces herself out of her bedroom and down the stairs, but she figures Chloe will understand. And dinner is rarely ever prepared at the exact time stated in the Beale household anyway. Beca’s not too worried. Just nervous.

She finally reaches out to press the doorbell.

Chloe opens the door almost immediately. “Thought you got lost,” she teases.

“Were you just waiting behind the door?” Beca asks quickly, allowing Chloe to grab her wrist and pull her over the threshold.

“And if I was?” Chloe shoots back, offering Beca a lazy smile, playful in nature. With an underlying hint of something else.

Beca blinks the surprise away. “I wouldn’t be complaining if you were waiting for me. Just sorry I kept you waiting,” she offers.

“Dinner’s not ready anyway,” Chloe says, as Beca expected. They breeze past the living room area, taking a mild detour past the kitchen and towards the back porch. “I might have told you a slightly earlier time because I wanted to talk to you about something,” Chloe says lightly.

“Should I say hi to your parents?” Beca asks worriedly before it registers what Chloe just said. “Wait, what? Talk to me about what?”

“Come sit with me,” Chloe says instead. Patiently. She gestures towards the tree - the tree they used to play under all the time as children - nestled in the corner of the backyard.

It’s one of Beca’s favorite spots.

She follows Chloe, wondering if it’s too late to run home and change into her jeans because she’s sure the grass and sticks will prick at her skin, but she’s surprised, as they near, that there is a small blanket laid out underneath.

Chloe had planned for this.

“Please sit,” Chloe offers. She sits comfortably, patting the spot next to her. “I had a feeling you’d dress up a little. Didn’t want you to get a dress dirty.” Her eyes drift down to Beca’s skirt briefly before she lifts her eyes, smiling at Beca. Beca doesn’t feel self-conscious, shockingly. She feels content. Safe.

Maybe a little warm if anything, but she knows that’s probably the proximity to the girl she’s been crushing on for the longest time.

“I...wanted to talk to you because we haven’t...really talked. About...y’know.” A hint of nervousness creeps into Chloe’s voice. “When we kissed and then Tom…” she hesitates. “We just didn’t get to talk about anything. And now the school year’s pretty much over, so I thought…”

“Right,” Beca agrees quickly. Her palms begin to sweat. She sure as hell hopes Chloe doesn’t expect her to lead this conversation. It was mortifying enough the first time around when she had basically laid everything on the line while Chloe was still dating somebody else. When Chloe had left her with nothing more than a heartfelt, vulnerable don’t give up on me. Then she had broken up with Tom and that was all their school could talk about for weeks.

And now this. Somehow Beca survived all of that while slowly making sure her friendship with Chloe survived as well. They both made sure of that.

“I like you,” Chloe declares. “I mean...I think I always did. Like you, I mean. As more than a friend. But the feelings were really confusing.”

“I get it,” Beca says a little too quickly. “I’m sorry,” she murmurs, laughing a little when Chloe smiles at her. “I feel like I haven’t stopped thinking about this for a while. But I never wanted you to feel pressured to talk about this with me even though we kissed.” She ignores the way her voice totally cracks over that last word.

“I never felt pressured,” Chloe assures her gently. “I am so...grateful that you’re in my life. I didn’t want to mess this up. But I think we should...try.”

“Try?” Beca echoes.

Chloe blushes. Like a full-on blush that spreads across her cheeks, visible to Beca even in the dying daylight. It makes her cheeks rosy and Chloe even flinches at her own reaction. “Dating,” she says simply once she seems to regain control of her emotions. “I want to go on dates with you. And hold your hand. And more kissing! If that’s what you want.”

Beca’s sure that her heart explodes somewhere in her chest because she suddenly finds it very difficult to control various parts of her body. She can’t control the smile that spreads across her face and the following, matching blush in her cheeks. It heats through her face with ease. And even worse, she can’t control the way her hand comes up to her mouth as if to instinctively cover her smile because somehow being thrilled that her crush is basically asking her out making her body react in embarrassing ways.

Chloe laughs at her, not a hint of malice in her laugh. Just joy. “I take that as a yes. Thank God, I wasn’t sure how I was going to convince my parents to move away.”

Beca rolls her eyes. Finally. Teasing. She can do that. “You wouldn’t be able to leave me. You like me too much.”

Chloe’s smile grows soft. “Well...yeah. I do. A lot.”

Beca’s breath catches. She’s sure she could kiss Chloe right now and the crazy part is, it wouldn’t even be totally weird. Or out there. Because they’re going to start dating. But maybe kissing Chloe again before their first date is frowned upon? Beca has no idea. She’s still only ever kissed one person and that person is sitting in front of her.

“Girls! Dinner!”

As if Chloe had been reading her mind and her intentions, Chloe shakes her head and stands, offering a hand to pull Beca up. When Beca stands, they’re somehow even closer - almost nose to nose - than they had been when they were sitting. “Saved by the bell,” Chloe whispers, breath close enough to be felt on Beca’s mouth.

 * * * * *

 The most interesting part is that Beca hadn’t really thought about any of this - dating Chloe - beyond just vague daydreams and fantasies about just some kind of happy utopia with Chloe by her side. It’s honestly not much different from their usual day-to-day considering how close they already are, but dating? Actual dating?

Her Google search history stares back at her accusingly.

dating tips dating best friend first date first date movies dating girl what to do

She supposes she could ask her mother, but even that brief thought makes her shrink away from her desk. Beca stands and begins pacing. She’s sure that she’s overthinking this all. That Chloe could probably care less about what they do on their first date. That Chloe’s probably just expecting them to spend time together, just the two of them. With more handholding. And maybe a kiss at the end of the night.

“Shit,” Beca mutters suddenly. She rushes back to her computer, adding another search to her list.

kiss on first date ok???

She frowns. Not quite.

kissing before first date acceptable

In the end, she is saved from her descent into a hole of online searching by a text from Chloe herself.

Chloe dinner tomorrow at south street? haven’t been downtown in a while

Beca i’m down!

The ease at which Beca replies does not at all reflect the somersaults in her stomach.

 * * * * *

 “Hey,” Chloe calls, putting her menu down. “Where’d you go just now?”

Beca blinks, realizing that she had glazed over the menu entirely, too wrapped up in her own thoughts. “Oh, just...contemplating…” her eyes land on the first item she sees. “Salad.” She can’t help the way her own nose wrinkles instinctively at the thought of eating salad.

Chloe is as intuitive as ever, smiling as she reaches across the table to touch Beca’s hand. “You hate salad. Especially here.”

Beca swallows, struck by both the normalcy and intimacy of Chloe’s touch. They’ve been friends for years—there is nothing extremely off-putting about them holding hands or even just randomly touching each other on the arm, shoulder, knee.

And yet—

Chloe draws her hand away, seemingly not at all aware of Beca’s inner turmoil this time. She refocuses on her menu. “Want me to order something for you?” she asks instead.

Beca nods, though she is surprised. “Sure.” Now she’s curious as to what Chloe will order for her. And if she’s being honest, it kind of makes her feel giddy, the thought of Chloe knowing her well-enough to order something. Not that Beca would even bother with telling Chloe that she’s wrong. She’d eat anything at this point, just to spend more time with Chloe.

It’s not even like they’re at a fancy restaurant. It’s a diner downtown. The bright retro designs all around plus the comfortable, plush booth seats are all appealing to Beca and she likes the general atmosphere.

But she kind of wants to just…

“Can I sit next to you?” she blurts out. Immediately, she clamps her mouth shut, resisting the urge to avoid Chloe’s curious gaze, which lifts to meet hers immediately.

Chloe grins. “I would want nothing more. Get over here.”

Beca nearly sags in relief, but focuses instead on moving around the booth so she and Chloe are sitting closer, now on side of the booth.

Beca focuses on the frequent piece of advice she had found through a few somewhat reliable Google results.

Hold her hand.

Beca does. She inches her pinky across the cool vinyl seats until she can feel Chloe’s against her finger. Then, she slips her hand over Chloe’s, gently hooking her fingers on Chloe’s palm until Chloe gets the idea.

Chloe’s hand flips slowly, their palms touching. Beca exhales, sliding her fingers between Chloe’s, already liking the easy, comfortable fit of their hands.

Chloe says nothing, content to enjoy the silence and familiarity just as Beca is content to allow her feelings to take over. For a moment, Chloe appears to be perusing the menu in silence, but there is a steadiness to the set of Chloe’s shoulders. Beca can tell, having been so attuned to Chloe’s characteristics for longer than she’d like to admit. For longer than even Chloe herself knows at this moment. She glances at her date—her date!—selfishly taking the moment to appreciate Chloe’s profile.

It’s something she has done so many times before, but this time...this time, in a diner outside of town with the soft clatter of dishes around them and Chloe’s soft, warm palm against her own, Beca knows this is different.

“You know,” Chloe starts awkwardly. “I...obviously don’t mind if you ordered on your own.”

Beca laughs. “Why’d you offer to then?”

“I don’t know,” Chloe says, exasperation in her voice. She groans and hangs her head slightly. “I asked Max and-”

“You asked your brother what to do on a date with me?”

“No!” Chloe explains before she snorts. “I just...told him I was worried about impressing a girl. And I don’t know why, but I somehow thought he’d have some idea.” She grins a little, glancing at Beca out of the corner of her eye. “Did it work?”

“Maybe a little,” Beca says distractedly. She’s more fixated on the fact that Chloe must have been truly desperate to have turned to her older brother for help.

“Oh and he totally guessed I was going out with you, by the way.”

That’s not something that thrills Beca too much. Her imagination immediately conjures up a comically exaggerated vision of Chloe’s brother threatening her with a knife. “How?” she asks. “What did he say?”

“Nothing, really. He just kind of guessed and then said ‘finally’ or something like that.”

“Well, thank you for offering to order for me. It was very...chivalrous of you.”

“Please stop.”

“Quite charming.”

“Beca.”

“I can’t wait to see what other moves you try on me. Are we going to share one milkshake?”

“...no?”

 * * * * *

 They end up ordering two separate milkshakes because Beca sticks to her vanilla and Chloe orders chocolate.

“Try,” Chloe commands. “You always get vanilla. Chocolate is so good.”

Beca sighs, but obediently sticks her straw into Chloe’s cup despite Chloe’s protests of “contamination” and quickly takes a sip just to shut Chloe up for the time being. It’s not horrible - Beca just isn’t the fan of how chocolate tastes in milkshake form, though she’s sure Chloe will claim there’s no difference if the milkshake were in a solid chocolate bar form instead.

However, she’s mildly distracted by the sudden proximity she and Chloe have between them. Chloe’s arm rests loosely over her shoulder, where she had put her arm when Beca leaned in to drink from Chloe’s cup. She can practically feel Chloe’s breath on her neck and her cheek.

It would be so easy to just turn and -

Beca shakes her head slightly and shifts back. Chloe takes a moment longer to slowly move her arm from around Beca’s shoulders.

“What?” Beca asks quietly, poking at her fries a little. She catches Chloe smiling at her affectionately.

“Nothing,” Chloe replies quickly. “Just...you smell nice. That’s all.”

 * * * * *

 “I guess it’s kind of convenient that we live together,” Beca remarks, trying not to think too hard about the way Chloe’s hand feels in her own. She winces. “Well. Not live together. But…you know. Live next to each other.”

Chloe tilts her head, smiling as they walk up the path towards their houses. “And why is that convenient?” she asks lightly.

Beca blushes. She hadn’t thought this far. “I’m…I don’t know. I was just…commenting. On the convenience.”

Chloe giggles, pulling Beca closer ever so slightly. Beca likes the way their arms press together. She likes holding Chloe’s hand. She likes lifting her other hand to curl against the bend of Chloe’s elbow.

She likes knowing that Chloe likes her—really likes her—and Chloe enjoyed their date and—and—

“This is you,” Chloe murmurs, stopping in front of Beca’s door.

Beca kind of doesn’t want the night to end. She wants to sit on the porch and talk to Chloe for a few more minutes. Maybe one more hour. Just to hear the sound of her voice and have her attention for a few moments longer.

“This is me,” Beca parrots, feeling a lot more nervous than she thinks she’s letting on. That was what people said in those movies adorning Chloe’s shelves, right? It was what the internet said. Normal first date cliches. She steps backwards, under the light of her front porch, still holding Chloe’s hand as she does so. Chloe hesitates for a moment like she wants to follow, but ultimately she simply squeezes Beca’s hand in understanding and drops her own hand away.

Beca is immediately disappointed. She hadn’t wanted that at all. She bites her lip, watching as Chloe awkwardly shuffles her feet before she glances back up at Beca. A soft, slow smile spreads across Chloe’s lips, gentle and affectionate all at once. It makes Beca’s heart pound ridiculously hard.

“I had fun,” Chloe whispers, like she’s afraid somebody else will hear her. But not because she's afraid of other people. Just afraid that their bubble will burst, like Beca is. Another step closer. Beca swallows. “Can we do that again?”

“You’d want to go on more dates?” Beca asks, just to clarify, even though she knows exactly what Chloe’s asking.

“I would love to go on more dates with you.”

“Me too,” Beca squeaks out. “I—um—”

Chloe’s smile stretches, somehow happier than before. “Goodnight Beca.”

Something in Beca snaps. She steps forward, just two small steps and calls out Chloe’s name. “Wait,” she adds hastily.

Chloe stops and turns, surprised.

“Can I—” Beca swallows, licking her suddenly dry lips. “Can I kis—”

She doesn’t get to finish her question before Chloe is covering the ground between them in two short strides, wrapping her hand around the back of Beca’s head, letting the other come up to Beca’s arm, and kissing her for all her worth.

Beca gasps in surprise into the kiss, hands coming up to Chloe’s shoulders, squeezing tightly. Gently and slowly, Chloe presses further into the kiss, her lips moving ever so lightly against Beca’s. It is so much more than their first kiss—a do-over, if anything—and Beca realizes, with a jolt, that this is something she can do now. She can kiss Chloe because Chloe likes her and Chloe went on a date with her. Chloe held her hand all night.

Chloe wants to kiss her too.

Beca hums happily at the thought, looping her hands behind Chloe’s neck. It feels instinctual even as Beca blushes at the sudden intensity of the kiss. She knows Chloe has kissed more people than she has; she knows Chloe will forever have more experience in this regard. But God, Beca thinks that she has never felt more wonderful or powerful than she does in this moment, tightening her grip on the fabric of Chloe’s light jacket.

Pulling back ever so slightly, Beca heaves a breath and rests her forehead against Chloe’s forehead. Chloe’s breathing is the tiniest bit labored as well. For a moment, neither of them dares to move, too afraid to break the spell between them.

Chloe is the first to smile—the first to press forward ever so slightly so their noses brush delicately. “What were you going to ask?” Chloe murmurs.

Beca swats her shoulder lightly. “You’re so weird,” she mumbles back, leaning in to steal just one more kiss from her beautiful, wonderful date.

 * * * * *

 When Beca reaches the solitude of her bedroom, she finally gets what all those high school romcoms were about. Showing their protagonist thrilled to finally finish a date so they can squeal and giggle and simply dream about their crush or date. It’s probably the first time that Beca has felt her energy rebound around her room with such happiness and positivity. The sensation is addicting—she honestly just wants to text Chloe all night.

Which, honestly, she could.

Chloe kissed her. Chloe kissed her because she likes her and they just went on a date. A freaking date.

A text from Chloe jolts her back to reality.

Chloe i miss you, is that weird?

Beca no because i miss you too. weirdo.

Chloe i have something else to tell you. that might be weird. Idk

Beca go for it.

Beca watches the text bubbles float in and out on her screen, like Chloe is typing a paragraph. Despite Chloe just saying that she missed her, Beca can’t help but feel nervous.

Chloe I just wanted you to know why i picked south street. it’s because. well. Remember when we first went there by ourselves without our parents. Sometime last year. With a few friends. And we all squeezed into that booth and sat there and shared fries and milkshakes and felt like we were at the top of the world because we were finally in high school or something stupid like that. I don’t even remember much about that night or who we were with but i do remember seeing the way you laughed at something and how your entire face lit up. and i remember thinking that i really liked you and how scary it was that i felt these things for you so suddenly and so much. Like a lot. but i’m so glad that we both got to this point - that we both feel the same way. I just really loved the way you looked when you laughed and i am so happy you’re in my life.

Chloe also i really like kissing you

Beca doesn’t even bother replying.

She shoves on her shoes again and rushes out the front door. She is only surprised to see Chloe sitting on her own front porch, staring worriedly at her phone.

“You really are so weird, y'know that?” She calls out, careful not to startle Chloe too much.

Chloe does jump anyway, but she sets her phone down quickly. “What are you doing?”

“Finishing this date off again that you confessed your big scary feelings. Through a text message.” Beca pretends to be annoyed as she stomps over to Chloe. “You couldn’t have said all that?”

“You make me nervous!” Chloe exclaims.

Beca shakes her head, mustering up all the courage she has in the world, pulling Chloe in for a kiss like she wanted to earlier before Chloe beat her to it.

“So much better,” Beca whispers, smiling when Chloe huffs quietly against her mouth.

It's the perfect end to the beginning Beca has been dreaming of all this time.

fin.