#IM LAUGHING MY FUCKING ASS OFF

[teecupofcement]

Me with the whole Nimona movie up my ass: hi what's up youtube

[damnbluewires]

[jitteryjive]

oh my GOD this is the dumbest line i have ever written

[randomsufff]

You know what I really need in fanfics? More confession scenes where one person drops the confessions then runs, fast as fuck, in the other direction.

Like, obviously they’ll meet back up eventually and talk about it (which is hilarious in itself they they would have to sprint to catch up while yelling why they’re like this) , BUT THINK ABOUT IT!!! It 1) give the other person a chance to gather their thoughts so the person confessing doesn’t have to sit in anxious silence and 2) allows the confessor to get it over with quick and overcomes that anxiety over confessing. Also it’s just fucking hilarious.

Like imagine your fav paring or whatever, they get to that part where one (or both idk) realizes their feelings for the other but they’re just anxious to be vulnerable like that or they fear rejection, whatever. One of them suddenly goes, fuck it, and they turn to the other. (Maybe they’re on a sidewalk, maybe their in a park IDK endless possibilities here) and they go:

“ok I’m about to say something, it’s nothing bad (I hope) and I’m willing to talk about it after I say it. I’m 100% serious, this is really not a joke. But I’m going to say this and run to (relevant location). Ok? Ok…. Don’t freak out… iminlovewithyou” *Cue maniac SPRINTING as fast as humanly possible in the other direction* (Bro I’m cracking up just typing about this)

AND THEN!!! You get to chose how they react after a few stunned seconds. Do they sprint after them? Do they shout to bring their ass back over to them? Do they race like hell to beat the other at the determined location??? I don’t know, but it’s hilarious as fuck and can transition seamlessly into heartfelt feeling talk.

(Thinking about this with specific ships is funny as hell too)

Idk I think of more fics had this trope we could all have a grand ol silly time instead of accidentally speed reading through confession schemes because the stress is too much then having to go back and re-read it to fully process it, as one does. You know?

[cheecats]

top 5 funniest DOTC moments

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

wormie wormie wormie wormi-

[volatilemask]

literally how.

[jade-len]

you know it's bad when i read svsss and tgcf, stories about just two guys falling in love and getting together, and think, "god i wish i were in between them."

gay little domestic cottage core life with binghe and qingqiu? please and thank you. being sandwiched by hua cheng and xie lian, two pretty men who are hundreds of years old? i am blushing, kicking my feet and giggling

and again, it's not even that i would want only one of them. like in both of the relationships, the two love each other too much to the point it'd feel wrong if they were separated! it wouldn't feel complete, so you gotta be with both of them!

but that's the thing; i just?? i feel so incredibly guilty whenever i think about being loved by these mxtx couples??? like it's so stupid but i feel like i'm intruding in on something and it's like, everyone else seems to just want them together only, not wanna be with them. like it's fuckin taboo or whatever

i feel like with any other character from any other media it'd be fine to simp for and write/read x readers of them, but when it comes to these books, it's off limits! no way, what are you, crazy? yes, yes i'm unhinged and desperately want their love and affection simultaneously. i want to be in a happy little poly relationship with these overpowered beautiful men with long hair.

i can't be the only guy or whoever to feel this way?? to wanna be kissed by these characters? sandwiched?? i have two hands for christ sake and they all look so happy together and im just like "lord i wanna be with them so much". someone tell me i'm not alone cmon <\3

[jacqcrisis]

As someone who's been a Jerma fan since the TF2 days, the joke I miss the most was the 'this is NOT a beginner Jerma stream' comments. Like my man had difficulty levels for his streaming experiences. Like you needed a warning and a debriefing before clicking on Twitch to see unregistered Hypercam, a lie detector test, him killing santa, or Jerma trying desperately to get a copy of Red Dead Redemption for hours, getting increasingly unhinged with every avenue that got blocked for some unknown cosmic level reason so he ends up playing Skate 3, a real person fighting game, TF2, and another game where he superimposes his mouth over character's mouth to make it look like he's talking for them, aka, my favorite Jerma bit ever.

A lot of this is now just kind of standard fare after the carnival and dollhouse, but that was never not funny to see on the subreddit or the 2ndJerma videos when a new stream happened and the old veterans all gathered round and labeled it 'not a beginner Jerma stream'.

[codecicle]

worlds most minor spoilers for 110 btw ‼️‼️

i needed the world to experience their worst fucking rolled intro that they've ever done. worst experience please never do a bit like this again 🙏🙏

[todayisafridaynight]

reasons number A Million why not every rgg character needs to be +6ft he looks so fuckin stretched out. actually got put in the willy wonka taffy puller

[mamadarama]

how do you feel about madara kissing keito and vice versa (in a ship way)... they could be so cute i think, or even madakurokei :0

oh my god ok so thats actually fucking hysterical cuz madara is like public enemy #1 to keito . he is SO intimidated by him, he refers to madara as a natural disaster (i know hes said that at least once but for some reason i think it might be more?) hes also been paranoid about madara stealing kuro from him ever since kuro and madara became friends, he acts like those straight girls that automatically assume every other girl wants to steal their boyfriend, its like actually ridiculous . i already love madakurokei cuz "guy dating two people who do not get along even a little bit" is one of my favorite ship dynamics , but i never really considered keito and madara being romantically involved. if they did it would be the most fucked up hatelationship on the planet , like you could cut the tension with a knife and get a headache just by walking into a room theyre both in . nat20 psychic damage. i think it would 100% be fueled by keito thinking madara is equally hatable as he is fuckable , and madara picking up on that and antagonizing him for it subtly but relentlessly .

yknow how ibara and yuzuru do their whole little "hurling insults at each other but its just their fucked up way of saying they still think about each other" thing? ok well keito and madara would be sorta like that but theres no sincerity or vulnerability to it its straight up just pure hatelust.

so basically if they kissed it would be a kneejerk heat of the moment thing while keito is yelling at madara, who is teasing him. and then madara would try and pretend it never happened and dance around the subject if its brought up. and keito would be completely out of it for the rest of the day and wouldnt be able to stop thinking about it for like a week. and they never speak of it again but the way they look at each other clearly says they both still think about it constantly so the tension never resolves .

god i feel so bad for kuro.

[daydreamerwonderkid]

Have you considered not being american?

Help me.

[flyfishing-the-fbi]

Will. Will, it’s Hannibal. Will, when you yell at me? This is who you are yelling at.

Do you want to cook someone together? Say yes, Will. I love you endlessly.

*Bleary-eyed, squints at phone*

Yes...? I should go back to bed. I think the encephalitis might be coming back.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

yall would not Believe the level of 'just ate the floor' i achieved today

[i-already-know-im-going-2-hell]

Look, it's not that I don't think Sam isn't capable of terrible things, it's that I've seen him looking like a wet puppy dog or making little-brother-bitch faces on screen too often to take him serious when he does.